#i don't want to agree with the bitching i am hearing. but i don't want to deny them their voice.

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

[bitegore]

is there like a curse you get put under when you decide that you like cold weather better than hot weather to never ever shut the fuck up when someone expresses a different opinion on the subject, or is that just a choice you are all making

[catfishofoldin99colours]

I know I'm not the best at managing my emotions and I've bitched about people plenty in my time but it still always catches me off guard when my coworkers talk incredibly nastily about someone else in the office with what seems like reckless abandon, like.

Oh, you. You don't? Try and keep this to yourself? You don't consider this frustration a private thought? You just. Let these thoughts out, in the open, often to me specifically???

Can't quite tell if it's the eldest daughter thing that makes people vent to me or if I just have the Vibe that calls people who want to complain

Very odd. And not pleasant.

[honeygrahambitch]

"Hannibal." Bedelia's voice comes from the phone.

"I am here as well." Will says as he taps the "speaker" button on the screen of Hannibal's phone.

"Such a blessing." She says after a deep sigh.

"How are you doing?" Hannibal asks and Will audibly whispers "Do we have to make small talk?"

"I have to agree with his remark. Get straight to the point." Bedelia replies.

"Lizzie has been asking for a hair straightener for a few weeks now and we bought her one."

"...Who is Lizzie?"

"Our daughter?" Will answers feeling insulted.

"I feel like I should ask how that happened but I am happier when I am not involved in your... homoerotic saga."

Hannibal tries his hardest not to laugh while Will wants to grab the phone to hang up.

"Anyway, as I was saying, we got her a hair straightener."

"Sorry, how old is she?"

"Seven."

"Did you get a seven year old a hair straightener?"

"Please forgive us for not asking for your advice first." Will says sarcastically and is pleased only when he hears another sigh from Bedelia.

"Neither of you had a fulfilling childhood. It is logical that you ended up being this type of parents."

"What type of parents?" Hannibal asks curious about Bedelia's opinion while Will was silently counting in order to compose himself.

"Am I right if I assume you can't say "no" to your kid?"

Silence.

"That's what I believed as well." Bedelia goes on satisfied with her guess.

"Wait. When did I talk to you about my childhood?" Will asks.

"You didn't. You ended up being a serial killer married to a man who is ten years older than you. That tells me everything."

"Why did we have to call her?"

"Because this is important. We are not sure how to use the hair straightener."

"No, Hannibal had a shock when he noticed that the oven and the straightener have the same temperature levels." Will explained.

"Wouldn't that ruin her hair?"

"And that brings us to my previous question. Why did you get a seven year old something like that?"

"Because if she wants straight hair then she should get straight hair." Hannibal replies confidently.

Bedelia's reply comes quickly. "If she couldn't have straight parents then she should at least have straight hair, right?"

"Bedelia." Will started. "We know where you live. And last time I checked one of your legs was still in perfect condition."

"Don't mind Will, now, say, will it burn her hair?"

"I imagine the amount that you spent on it has at least 4 digits."

"Absolutely."

"It will be alright. Don't use the highest settings but other than that, that's how all straighteners work. I will assume yours is very high quality."

"It is. Cause we are good parents." Will added as he grabbed himself a beer from the fridge.

"Sure."

"Thank you for... picking up the phone." Hannibal said politely. "Would you like to come over for dinner?"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She hanged up.

"What a bitch." Will commented as he left the kitchen.

[mysticheathenn]

What's You're Soul Contract?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about what your soul agreed upon coming to earth. Did you come here to be successful? Break Generational Trauma? Did you come here just for the fun of it? This pick-a-card may help give you more clarity and guidance on why you are here on Earth.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

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NEXT PAC: Patreon Related (I just don't know what as of yet) If you have any suggestions feel free to send them.

Sorry, I have been M.I.A. Depression really is a bitch, but I'm doing better still under the weather but better. I hope everyone is doing well. I missed and love you guys.

Pile l:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot: 6 of Cups, Ace of Swords, 3 of Wands, 10 of Cups, 10 of Wands, Page of Cups.

Breaking Generational Trauma/Curses. You have a lot of cups and wand energy pile l. This means your pile is all about pent-up fiery emotions that have been denied an avenue to being expressed whether in your lifetime or over the many generations before you. You probably grew up in a household where you are supposed to "stay in a child's place" or "you should be seen not heard." Some of you have to deal with constantly seeing your parents, grandparents, or family in general struggling with money or hating what they do for work but it puts food on the table and clothes on your back but at the end of the day they took out their frustrations on you. I'm hearing "Money is burning a hole in my pocket." Maybe you have one of those parents where you went to your room as soon as they came home because they were always in a bad mood because of how stressed they were or they are penny pinchers like Julius from "Everybody Hates Chris" I heard "That's .49 cents of spilled milk dripping on my table. Somebody is going to drink this milk. Clip Link." They may even hit you for spilling juice even if it were an accident. Either way, you vowed long ago that you were going to break the chains of what your ancestors have passed down. You want to live a life where you can come home to and feel at peace and happy. You want to be that parent that lets your kids feel like they can express themselves while establishing healthy boundaries. Some of you I am even hearing will never stay with someone for the sake of the kids like some of your parents have done. You overall want to live a life where you don't have to apologize, walk on eggshells, or be miserable. Your soul contract is basically to live your life outside the boundaries of what your ancestors have placed on each generation and to pass that same freedom on to those around you or your kids. You are meant to live out loud and maybe even cut off family members if you feel called to do that. I am even hearing that some of you are in the process of re-parenting your parents. Helping or teaching them that the ways of what they knew are wrong and that if they want to remain in your life they need to make changes.

Pile ll:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot: Page of Pentacles, The World, The Sun, 8 of Pentacles, Queen of Swords

Independence/Financial Abundance. Your soul contract reminds me a bit of pile l but only 1% of it when it deals with breaking trauma/curses surrounding money. You probably grew up if not poor you grew up okay. While you weren't poor your family wasn't rich or even middle class, they were a little above working paycheck to paycheck. For some of you, this has nothing to do with growing up poor but more so with wanting a better life for yourself so you can provide for those around you especially if you are close to family. If not family you may just want Fuck you money to lavishly spend. Some of you want to pay off your parent's mortgage or buy them their dream car. Whatever it is as everyone has their personal reasoning for why they want financial abundance or independence, you are placed here to experience riches and create abundance. I am hearing that some of you want to make a change within the world. You want to grow a business where employees are treated fairly and paid a living wage. This reminds me of the CEO who took a pay cut so he could give all his employees including himself a starting salary of 70k. You want to help out the needy and give back to whatever you can, I'm hearing about finding new solutions to food waste for very few of you. Either way, you are meant to be your own boss. You were never meant to work underneath someone and I feel quite a few of you have been feeling that feeling for quite a while now but don't know how to break the chains, don't have a business idea/where to start, or don't know how to get the funding to start your business idea. Just remember to ask and you shall receive speak to your guides and ask them for help, a sign, or to put someone in your path who can help you out. In the meantime, please be careful with who you share your ideas with. Some of you are too trusting with your friends and family group not knowing they are waiting to see you fail or talk you out of the idea because they want you to remain in the same position as them knowing they could never amount to half your potential. Some of them remind me of the popular TikTok trend from Snowfall "Me. I built this shit. Brick by Brick and I'll be dam if you tear it down because you don't like the way another n*gga talk." Some also just want to latch onto you, remember not everyone is meant to walk the same path. Some people are meant to be left behind or they will keep you in the same place as you are now with wanting handouts, filling you with limiting beliefs, etc.

Pile lll:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot:10 of Cups/10 of Pentacles, The Wheel, 4 of Cups, The Tower (clarified by the Chariot), The Hermit

Divinity / Spiritual Growth/ Light & Love. You may be seeing the number 1010 everywhere pile lll. You have the 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, and The Wheel is the 10th card in my "The Muse Tarot Deck." The 1010 angel number serves as a guiding light, illuminating your journey in love, money, and spiritual growth. You were placed on this earth to spread light and love, becoming the embodiment of it, and to walk a spiritual path. For some of you this spiritual path may be a religious path, take what resonates and leave what does not. I mostly feel this is a spiritual group because of the symbolism on each card that came out for you. Some of you are leaving your religious background for spirituality because you saw how religion has turned the people around you into the complete opposite of what they teach during Sunday service, some of you are leaving because you felt that the religion doesn't align with you anymore and you feel lost but somehow spirituality has been calling your name and has done some things for you but you feel some type of guilt surrounding it because of your upbringing. For others of you, this may be vice versa where you decide to go back to church, etc. Again take what resonates and leave what does not, either way, you are finding your way back to god (Universe, Allah, Source, etc) and wanting to bring more harmony, love, and community into your life. You probably have been going through some changes recently and for some of you who are atheist or agnostic and experiencing the feeling of being lost, like the way you are living can't just be this, or feeling that there is no way that you are here to just take up space and struggle. You are trying to find more meaning in life because you are on the verge of a mental breakdown or may even have thoughts of suicide because of how alone you have been feeling. Overall you were meant to find yourself. You are meant to come back to yourself through spiritual or religious means. Finding a community that shows you that there is light and love in this world and you aren't alone nor placed here as a waste of space or to struggle. I heard God loves the little children bible school song and this little light of mine. I feel those two songs are to let you know that within the darkness there is always a bit of light at the end of the tunnel you just can't see it because you're honed into the darkness not looking for the light. Also that you are loved whether you feel that way or not. Your community is out there, don't give up.

Pile lV:

What is your Soul Contract? Tarot: Queen of Wands, 9 of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, 4 of Swords, 4 of Cups, 10 of Wands (reversed)

Love/Beauty/Life. You may be seeing 44 or 444 everywhere pile lV. That is for just a few of you not everyone but pile lV your soul contract, the reason you are here is to experience all of life's beauty, glory, and love. Your pile somewhat reminds me of pile lll but only 1% of it is about finding yourself, but for a few of you the whole reading might resonate also. Anyway, you are here to experience being human. I mean after all, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Some of you probably wonder why you go through tough times or maybe get pissed off at even small inconveniences and I'm here to let you know it's all a part of your process, mission, and experience. You are meant to see life's beauty, travel, fall in love, get your heart broken, make life-long friends, have your first fight, lose all of your money, win the lottery.... all of it...do you hear me? You are meant to experience the good with the bad. The small details of life like Starbucks's pumpkin spice lattes to the smell of books in the library or book store. You signed up to also find yourself amongst experiencing all the large and small things in life. To live your life unapologetically and to be free from what society has placed on what it is to being a human, an adult, etc. If you haven't seen the movie Soul by Pixar/Disney I highly recommend it as this is literally your pile. You were meant to say what goes for your life and what does not because everything is temporary. You know the question "If you were on your deathbed what would your regrets be? What would you have wished you would have done more of? What would you have done less of? Those questions that people love to ask old people.....that is your soul contract. To be asked on your death bed some of those questions and being able to say you lived life exactly how you wanted to live it: Beautifully, authentically, boldly, and filled with love and freedom surrounded by those you love and who deeply love and express their love for you. While you are meant to experience some struggle as it is a part of the human experience you are not meant to live one that is traditional, rigid, or stale. Go bungee jumping, get a tattoo sleeve (or fake one), take risks and ask out the guy first, and write that book that has been on your mind even if you don't plan on sharing it. Overall, do you boo, do you. Live life with no regrets. Live life as if Wes Anderson was the director. If you were a book genre it would be coming of age.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the AH for calling my brother a drug addled cunt?

My brother (26) has had a drug problem for over a decade now; meth, heroin, booze- if it exists my brother has done it multiple times. He recently came out of sober living again and my mom (46) is letting him live with us.

My mother set the condition that as long as he doesn't do drugs he can live with us and I was extremely wary but it is her house so I said fine. However he was sneaking alcohol and weed into the house and I (19) kept finding it and giving it to my mom. She would throw it away but in a couple of days I'd find a new bottle or container and the cycle would continue.

I recognize that weed and alcohol are legal in my state however I believe that someone with addiction issues (especially concerning weed and alcohol) should not partake and my mom agrees with that sentiment. However, at the end of her rope (i.e. not wanting to kick out her son but also struggling with trauma from having an addict father), she struck a deal with him that he could smoke weed as long as he 1.) didn't drink at all, 2.) Kept to himself when he was high, and 3.) Didn't drive the car whilst high.

As soon as she said that he was out the door to the dispensary and has been high from the moment he wakes up til the moment that he goes to bed. He completely disregards the second rule of not being high around us and drives the car high.

Tonight me and my mother were standing in the living room talking. He just got off his shift and was at the door struggling with the lock. He then stumbled inside so my mom made him empty out his pockets and he had weed after only going to work and coming straight back (he didnt stop at a dispensary).

My mother stated that since he was high he couldn't drive her car anymore and he stated that he wasn't high whilst smiling the whole time (which is his tell). My mom stood her ground and it seemed like the end of it so she went out for a cig, I went to my bed, and he went to the couch.

Several minutes later I hear yelling coming from the living room so I stand by my door listening (they're fighting about my moms car again) and it starts to get louder so I leave my room and stand behind my mom incase he starts to get violent.

She is telling him how dangerous it is that he is high at his job where he uses heavy machinery. He states that everyone does it so it doesnt matter. She responds by saying "you're not them so you don't have to do what they do." Somewhere along the lines she calls him a punk and he calls her a power tripping bitch. I don't even notice her call him a punk because I am honed in on every little move he makes just incase however I do notice what he says so I chime in with "don't talk to my mother that way."

He tells me to fuck off and that it's none of my business so I respond with "that's my mother, it is my buisness." He then says "she called me a punk first," so I said that "she should have called you a drug addled cunt."

My mom told me calmly to go back to my room which I did because I recognized that the amount of rage and fear coursing through my body causing me to shake like a chihuahua wasn't going to do anything beneficial.

They both quieted down and the fight ended immediately after that though. My reaction was a build up after years and years of trauma that he has brought into my life however I do recognize that what I said was out of left field. Most likely a TA or at least ESH but I'd like someone else's opinion! (If yall would like a list of the most memorable stuff that he has done to me since I was young for context I can type that out for you as well).

What are these acronyms?

[cpericardium]

So! I've gotten a host of messages and asks regarding recent disk horse and I wanted to address them as a collective. I know I have anon asks off, I won't share your URLs, but I do want to thank you for asking and clarifying some of the frankly vile things people have been saying about me, my girlfriend, and friends. I value those of you who offered your words of support, and didn't jump to believe screenshots taken out of context and lies written with the utmost confidence and none of the facts. I am a little tired of having my morals questioned and my views conflated with every single person I associate with, but there it goes.

Some questions and answers under the cut. Feel free to continue asking and I'll do my best to answer.

tumblr user cpericardium suspiciously silent on the subject of Gaza: does this mean you support ethnic cleansing???

My reticence when it comes to posting about topics like I/P is because:

-This is a fandom blog intended for lighter topics, except maybe the occasional vent about life stuff, which I usually hide under a cut. I don't have sideblogs. They seem tough to maintain and I don't post nearly enough to justify it. If I were to make one it would be for another fandom or maybe just the freakier bugs. I simply prefer my social media experience to be stress-free.

-Anti-slacktivism. It's a documented thing: posting about an issue makes you feel like you're doing something, you get that little shot of dopamine, so you don't actually go out and do something that effects meaningful change. I'm trying to do less of that. I'm good with the friends and people I follow who choose to post about it and this is a strictly personal belief, but when I engage in activism, it is offline or it is a donation. You're not going to hear about it.

But don't you reblog lgbt and women's rights posts?

Yeah, and that's usually when I want to save a post for one reason or another (e.g. to talk about with someone on discord later). The bottom line is that the main purpose of my blog is not to post political takes or to spread awareness of anything. It is just a collection of my interests (fan stuff, bugs) and hopefully a way to share those interests with like-minded people.

I will state my views clearly for the record: I support Palestine. The ongoing genocide is heartbreaking and so is the violence against protestors. Additionally, I am against antisemitism and the harassment of Jewish people in the name of supporting Palestine. This shouldn't even need to be said.

Is your girlfriend a Zionist?

No.

Does she support Zionists?

No.

Wasn't she in the military?

Yes, years ago.

But the military is evil?

It is. She's extremely hardcore anti-war, does not believe the US should even have an army, and actively PMs strangers on reddit to try to convince them to not make the same mistake. If they're dead set anyway, she gives them detailed advice on how to survive. Because she actually cares about the human cost of war, not the social clout gained from shunning or sneering at people who make wrongheaded choices. I have seen her doing this, seen her seeking to understand their reasons for joining so she can systematically explain—from personal experience!—why they're not going to get any of that out of the army. It is a hell of a lot more effective than bitching them out or writing callout posts or starting whisper campaigns about them. She cannot delete those years of her life no matter how much she regrets them. There is only forward. I think we can all agree on that.

But what about all those things she said. "I regret nothing, I have no qualms, VA nipple money etc."

Well you have to understand that while of generally upright character, she is a bit of a scamp. She believes she fundamentally should not have to explain herself to randos who do not know her, who have never, not once, interacted with her, who are clearly digging for dirt and will twist anything she says no matter how banal. People see what they want to see and they look for evidence to reinforce their preconceptions; they'll go so far as to make alts to join servers, cherry-pick screencaps, crop them, and conveniently fill in the rest of the narrative for curious onlookers. So she decided to exaggerate and amplify and twirl her mustache like a supervillain. Give them a show, as it were.

To be clear, I'm not sold on this strat because it makes her look cartoonishly evil to people who can't understand sarcasm and hyperbole. But her friends and I are aware of her actual beliefs and also that she did not in fact do those things people imagine she did. And isn't that what matters? Real-life harm? Do you even care?

Re: screenshots/so-called proof from shakertwelve & lakesbian's "callouts"

Girlfriend addresses them here.

[ms-cartoon]

Now see? What I tell ya? What. Did. I. Tell. Y'all!

I knew they we're gonna do this! What I say, "instead of Stolas being in the wrong for how he treats Blitzo, they're gonna make the latter the bad guy for how he "treats" Stolas. Because blah blah blah, Blitzo doesn't love Stolas back, blah blah he's not considerate of Stolas's feelings for him, blah blah he's being mean, blah blah, he needs to give Stolas a chance."

This is what I said on my post about the trailer

There is so much that needs to be said about this episode, for now however, I need to discuss this little conversation turned argument between the fandom's main couple

A little off-topic, but first of all, I really don't like how Blitzo's feelings for Stolas are retconned in between seasons. He went from hating Stolas and dreading a night of sex with him to actually sort of liking him and being so afraid that Stolas might be bored with him that he'll figure out ways to impress him with a bunch of sex toys. Him worrying about how complicated it is with Stolas, being nervous and giddy about how the meeting is gonna turn out? Being excited about having a night of sex with him and thinking dirty thoughts?? I can't tell if it's just Blitzo being perverted and horny or what, but it doesn't feel right. It's like these two switched roles or something.

Cuz where the hell did all this come from???

We don't even get a scene with them after the Ozzie's incident. Blitzo just told Stolas to screw off before driving away that episode, and there was NO conversation about it! It was a whole "Now you see it, now you don't" after 3 episodes with the aftermath being through text instead of in-person.

It made it seem like Blitzo was just DONE with Stolas while reluctantly pursuing the agreement.

Now the show is just in and out with them acting like boyfriends to them feeling awkward and distant. Like Viv, Adam, whoever is in charge of writing these relationships-- pick a lane!!

Anyway, back to the topic

Like everyone has been saying that I 100% agree with, Stolas is just a self-insert of Vivziepop: As soon as Viv is called out by us critiques, she'll throw a fit, cry, and resent us because we don't like her or her show (or we do like the show to some degree, it's just lacking the potential that it needs), and we're saying things about her that she doesn't like (despite them being true), therefore, she won't hold accountability for these things. And this is how Stolas is acting. Blitzo is calling him out, Stolas doesn't like it despite it being true and he turns it around on Blitzo for thinking so negatively of him, and won't admit when he's wrong.

Is Viv doing this on purpose? I'm starting to feel like she knows what she's doing here?

What really grinds my gears is when after Blitzo tells him off, Stolas tears up, being the dramatic pity me crybaby BITCH that he is, and says this--

"I wanted you for so long. The fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is- that it's always about sex. That's enough to know what this is."

I know he didn't- ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!! That is literally THE MOST hypocritical thing he's ever said since he's existed in this show. I know I shouldn't be shocked at this point, but I am just so APPALLED that I want to laugh (I'm laughing right now). I had to hear that line more than two times to make sure I wasn't deaf when he said that.

So he mentions Blitzo not believing that he might have feelings for him the entire time, almost as if he's shocked by this. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you don't believe that I'm in love with you!" Have you really given him any reason to believe you might be in love with him, Stolas??? Literally the first thing that came to mind when you two see each other for the first time as adults was, "You came here to ravish me, did you?" You sure as hell weren't loving him then! In what moment have you shown you might be in love him? And I don't want anybody bringing up any kind of excuse from season 2. Season 2 is a whole ass retcon anyway and Stolas's "love" for Blitzo just developed outta nowhere from ep 7 of season 1 to now. So none of it counts.

And then you have THIS part of the line--

"The fact that you think it's always about sex when I'm actually i'm love you."

No you stupid bitch!! That's you!

And then there's this---

"I didn't realize you thought so lowley if me."

Do I even need to explain anything to prove this how false these lines are??? Of course not! Cuz I feel like it should be obvious at this point. So instead, I'll put my "Reasons why I hate Stolas" post.

I swear, it's like the writers suddenly decided they wanna switch roles on these two. Where Stolas feels like Blitzo is messing with his feelings and Blitzo is the horny bastard who doesn't actually care about love when really it's the other way around on both ends. I swear this whole confrontation was thought out so poorly. Viv (or whoever is in charge of writing this EP) clearly doesn't keep track of what goes on in her shows. Or maybe she does, but she just doesn't care, and just changes things so that the story turns out the way she wants it without being logical about it. Stolas saying something like, "Your first instinct is sex." or "How can you not believe I'm not in love with you?" To Blitzo? It makes no sense!! Because sex was always on HIS mind!! HE hasn't shown ANY genuine love that didn't involve sex. So he shouldn't have ANY room to be judging Blitzo. They're whole relationship and the way that it is now; that's all STOLAS'S fault. Sure, Blitzo kind of started it so it's on him too, but Stolas was the one that pursued it despite Blitzo making it very clear he didn't like him. Not to mention he's been manipulative towards him.

I swear, I'm so done with Stolas. He better not pull this shit on his daughter istg. Ur feeling all sad cuz Blitzo doesn't live u back. Cry me a river you poor excuse for a father!

And I can't believe there are some fans out there that are siding with him too. Normally I wouldn't care what fans would think cuz sometimes, there's no changing their mind. But it's like . . . Did we watch the same show??

[inkskinned]

but you couldn't, like, see a gay person kissing.

it was alright that i had been catcalled at 12 years old. it was alright that i had been followed and groped at 15. it was okay men were leery and treacherous. it was okay when a man asked me my age and when i said 18, he said, that age is my favorite.

don't you like feeling sexy? i love action movies, but i often have an internal tally of how often a camera will begin at someone's hips and travel to her face only as if by accident. weirdly, you can't show too-much asscrack in the same movie, even if it was the style in the nineties. sort of only apply a tasteful sprinkling of asscrack.

i am wearing a body type that is very easily sexualized. it's a compliment, you'll miss it. it is not his fault, i am told - and then usually with this assurance, someone will compare me to an object. i am, by the way, not using "i become an object" metaphorically. well, you wouldn't wear a precious watch in a dangerous city - i am the watch, in this situation. can you blame a thief for taking a jewel if it was just left out in the open? i think my personhood is the jewel, but sometimes also it is pain. a dog sees a steak. i like this one because it does refer to men as dogs, even if it does literally compare me to a piece of meat (which is, you know, somehow worse than being a dog. at least call me a bitch, babe).

it's inappropriate to show two men kissing, but it's totally normal to hear that "best" age for childbirth is 15. (it's not, by the way. try 20's & 30's. do your fucking reading). and on tv - let's cut from a murder mystery where a woman is shown brutally bloodied, carved into pieces (only pg-13) into a tampon commercial where she runs around, happy and fluttering, refusing to use the word period, white pants abounding. periods: gross, icky. violence, though, is just a gendered currency.

so it's like - you say "can we please treat women like they're people and stop cutting their heads off in advertisements" and then it's like. no actually we needed that woman's bellybutton to sell drain fluid don't like it don't look. and you say "can you please not make every latin person a drug dealer holy shit" and they're like. unfortunately if we don't make the latin person a drug dealer we literally will go rabid. and you say "okay can we at least agree you super don't need to use racist epithets why is this even a conversation we're still having" and they're like. actually my child is a make-a-wish kid and his only wish was that i get to use words that make your skin crawl and if you don't let me use the words it's because you love cancer don't you.

so it's kind of a lost cause. because when something is complicated even a little bit, you find yourself trying to explain that the solution isn't make women cover up, it's that the idea "sexualization of nonconsenting parties is wrong" can also hold hands with the idea "not every expression of fondness is sexual in nature, nor is nonhegemonic sexual expression somehow more inflammatory or inappropriate than its counterpart"- and both of those ideas can also hold hands with "the male gaze is rarely censored despite the massive amounts of societal harm it imposes." but like, that's a big thought. let's just slap "pg-13" on the movie because they actually use the word lesbian. and let's cross our fingers and hope no kid figures out they're lgbt+ before college - otherwise they have access to literally no resources, since even google will censor the results in case they're pornographic. now, if you wanted to know how to hide a body...

when i was a kid i used to keep my eyes on my toes while walking past bra stores, feeling uncomfortable. it was gross to look at ladies, i knew that much. the way the women were posed was... not for me. not even for the people shopping. it was weird. i don't think anyone actually there-for-the-product was like yeah this is inspiring.

and i remember in high school my friends and i were still talking about how uncomfortable we felt in victoria's secret, shuffling our way out into the new england chill. little yellow leaves around our feet. a guy held the door open for us. a few seconds later, he jogged up after us. we were so startled we turned to look. "sorry," he said. "i just wanted to ask how old you all are." we were young then, so we lied and told him we were older. we'd talk about this later - we all thought maybe one of us had dropped our wallet or something. he smiled dolefully. "i just wanted to say you all are fucking beautiful. you have amazing tits on you."

sometimes i wonder. what if one fraction of the effort they put into making sure no gay thing ever occurs onscreen just went into controlling and educating their own fucking population. now wouldn't that be something.

[yayakoishii]

Good evening, how are you? I hope you are well. I really loved your fics with chubby reader (I laughed so hard with Sanji "whoever you're talking about, I agree with Nami. no one is worthy of you") and I wanted to know if your asks are still open? I don't know if you're comfortable writing comedy, but I think it would be funny if Reader was a fighter and Sanji saw her applying the move from this link on some random enemy (https://youtu.be/JgnUVcFx_Tg?si=KY3nrRhF86C91fOV), and asked her to apply it to him (kind of nfsw-ish but no big deal)

Move | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Reader

Word Count: 500~

Genre: Fluff?? Silly?? Drabble

A/n: Hey there anon! I'm doing great, thank you for asking <3 First of all, I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed my fics and I'm sorry for being so late ;-; Do I like comedy? Very much. Am I good at it? ...no. So the best I could manage was this small quick thing which isn't much or even all that funny tbh, but I hope it atleast is enough to bring a smile on your face. That's enough for me ♡

also available on ao3!

"You messed with the wrong bitch!!" You shouted as you swung your leg right into the side of the man. He doubled over and you swung it once more to go right over his head, effectively knocking him out. Behind him, you could see another one of his comrades running towards you.

Using the first guy as a springboard, you jumped on the man, your thighs coming to close around his head. The force and weight forced him to topple backwards and you took the moment to quickly snap his neck and clambered off him. When you turned around, you found that the others were down already thanks to Sanji, who was fighting alongside you.

But right now, the chef was staring at you with an open mouth. You self-consciously patted at your hair and clothes, wondering if something got askew because of the fighting.

"Uh, Sanji?" Your careful murmur of his name jolted the said man out of his thoughts. Sanji immediately leaned in close, just enough to not get into your personal bubble and picked up your hands.

With hearts in his eyes, he requested, "Do it to me."

Huh? You were confused, looking at him in concern.

"Do what?" You asked.

"The move you just did on that guy!"

That was an odd request. Sanji never wanted to fight or even spar with you, despite your insistence so for him to suddenly ask this...

"Are you sure?" You tried to confirm he was serious and if the way he was about to snap his neck with how hard he was nodding was not a confirmation, then you didn't know what was. Still, you didn't want to actually hurt him. "Alright, but I'm not going to hurt you. Let me know if something goes wrong, because you know I'm shit at patching up wounds and I will have to go get Chopper."

"Of course, my sweet," he swooned, swaying on his spot. Still confused, but not wanting to refuse without a valid reason, you backed up a bit to jump on him, smoothly bracketing Sanji's head between your thighs such that his face pressed against your stomach– and oh.

You suddenly realised why he wanted you to pull that move on him.

The blonde chef toppled backwards from the force too and now you were pretty much sitting on his face, both of you blushing heavily. Before you could say anything or move away though, blood spurt out of Sanji's nose and he fainted. You paused and stared at his blissed out face with a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment for a few seconds.

"Just for that, I'm not going to call Chopper. Stay conked out, hmph!"

You looked away, cheeks growing redder. He really had the nerve to ask that– shameless! But really, the worst part was that you didn't really mind it. It just felt like Sanji has unknowingly taken advantage of your huge crush on him. The only solace you had was that atleast no one was around to see this. Thinking so, you made to get off when Nami's voice made you freeze.

"Get a room, please, and don't forget to pay me for the bleach my eyes need."

°•❀•°

[slutforhaechan]

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader

cw: somnophilia

Haechan and you agreed to talk about "touching while you're asleep or he's asleep thingy" As long as approved by both of you. Haechan can't hide his excitement feeling and he mentions that he is excited to try it if he got a chance. One day night he came home stressful and tired practicing for their upcoming comeback along with his members, Haechan didn't bother to call you because its night and he seems that you're asleep because the house is peaceful. He quickly checked you on the room you've shared each other, and he finally sees you sleeping so innocently, he walks towards the bed and touches your face so gently and he suddenly think that idea of touching you while you're asleep. He couldn't help to think about touching you with his beautiful hands, touching your tits, thighs, and pussy while you're unconsciously whimpering and moaning, and to the thought of that haechan couldn't hold himself palming his cock sighting the view of you sleeping peacefully while you wearing his loose t-shirts and thinking that he will touch you while you're asleep. He started groping your tits softly, touching your thighs aggressively, kissing your neck and lips while whispering in your ear "oh god you're so hot even though you're sleeping innocently, hmm want you so bad, you know what i am so tired right now baby but i just can't help to touch you by seeing you like this" while kissing your neck haechan reaches his one hand on your throbbing pussy underneath your panty he rubs your pussy softly back and forth and he clearly hear your soft moans while you're unconscious, a big smirk growing on his lips. After that he pull your panties down because he is so eager to taste you. Haechan looks at your pussy so devilishly he slid down his fingers to your slit and rubs your clit so good, he can see that your squirming to his touch and he can see your dripping wet for him by just touching you so erotically. he even said "god you're such a slut so fucking wet for me, fucking slut only for me, i wonder how you taste right now" He can't explain of the sudden eagerness of him and haechan couldn't wait he positioned himself infront of your aching pussy and you can already feel his hot breath on your pussy he started to lick your clit and a moan escaping on your mouth because you can't hold it back, haechan eats your pussy like a last meal in the world, the slurping sounds, wet sounds by sucking your wet pussy turns you so fucking on and you're helplessly moaning and calling his name like a bitch in heat "haechan baby, don't stop please don't stop, im so fuck....close." a sudden realization of haechan that he finally wakes you up and he's happy about it and he keeps on sucking and licking your pussy so hard and you are on the verge cumming for him "i think im gonna cum, oh my god haechan fuck shit, im almost there" haechan didn't stop and you came onto his mouth. He quickly stands up to kiss you and asks "did i make you feel good baby? hm? did i make your dreams feels better, answer me" you answered in breathy voice "yes haechan, it felt so really good" he put his heavy body on the mattress and cuddled you and saying that "let's clean up first okay? and sleep again. im sorry baby i can't hold back myself touching you it's just you're so hot wearing my shirt right now plus you looked so fuckable" he kisses your forehead and you tell him that "it's okay baby, i enjoyed it" both of you chuckled and kissed passionately.

[gr444nde]

bed peace | vinnie hacker short

PAIRING: vinnie hacker x fem!reader

SUMMARY: you and vinnie decide to push away your plans for the day to spend time with each other in bed like a lazy couple.

lowercase intended.

WARNINGS: mention of sex, a fuckin SLIVER of suggestiveness, fluff !

you wake up to the loud ringing coming from your phone, the time reads 9 AM. your blinds open just enough so that the sun light can creep through and hit your face. you groan as you realize you have to get the day started. you pull yourself up, swinging your legs to the side of the bed, ready to stand to your feet. before you ever get a chance to, you can feel arms snake around your waist, holding you back from getting up.

"stay.." you hear your boyfriend's sleepy voice. "i can't." you argue. "we have so much to do today." you shift your body to face him. "we don't have to. we can stay here for as long as we want, baby." He tells you. you can feel a smile creep onto your face. you didn't wanna give in, given your busy schedule, but you knew you couldn't say no to the lovely and calming sight in front of you. "oh alright." you say being flustered by his charm. you pull the covers over your body again as you snuggle up next to him.

you don't know what time it is and you haven't bothered looking. you were just too in the moment with your boyfriend. between the kissing, the cuddling, and even some "almost" love making. the thought hit you again. "we have to run at least a few errands today though." you turn your head towards him. "of course, but wouldn't you rather go during night? i know how much you love late night drives." you always adored how he always remembered the smallest details about you.

"well yeah but-" he cuts you off. "so don't you think it would make more sense to go out at a time you feel more comfortable with?" you sigh as he makes an excellent point. "you never fail to amaze me." you say with a chuckle. "fine." you finally agree with him. "we can just go at a later time." you say "im so glad it's hard for you to resist me." he says as he chuckles and places a kiss on your forehead.

about 2 hours later, you reach for your phone only to find out it's now 2 PM. "already?" you say out loud. "what's wrong?" he sits up when he hears your voice. "it's already 2 in the afternoon." you tell him. he just shrugs. "and? it's not super late." he says without a care in the world. "vin, we've been in bed for 5 hours. have either of us even ate anything?" his demeanor changes and it hits him that neither of you had anything to eat. "okay yeah, maybe we should get up now." you two laugh before you start kissing, which then turns into a make-out session.

"just a few more minutes.."

i literally wrote this in 20/30-ish minutes like okay boss bitch🙈 also bed peace by jhene aiko is currently one of my favorite songs rn and i love her sm so you already know I had to write this. have an amazing day or nite ! 🌬️💋

[honeygrahambitch]

I headcanon Hannibal not to be your average bitching cunt cause that's Will. Will is dramatic, vents, gesticulates, walks backs and forth. Imagine he orders himself some fishing rods for example and they send him the wrong models. Every single day during a week, Hannibal has to listen to his venting. He doesn't mind.

Will was a cunt before meeting Hannibal but after he got into this relationship with this man who inflates his ego every single day of his life by literally considering him God, his own self esteem sky rocketed and yeah, more cuntiness. Don't know if it makes sense. Hannibal basically taught him that he deserves the best and he should never expect less than that.

However when it comes to Hannibal, it's the opposite when things don't go his way. If you don't know him, you might as well miss it.

Let's picture this. He and Will are finally building their forever home after a few years of being on the run. And while Will takes care of less artsy matters, such as insulation or gas or running water, things he is good at like choosing pipes and such, Hannibal is taking care of colors, decor, style, you get the point. And obviously the kitchen is such an important part. And he spends a lot of time choosing the right furniture and color schemes and when the tiles arrive and the workers place them on the floor of the kitchen, his whole world shatters.

The corner tiles are not symmetrical.

The workers start finding excuses and Will is waiting for him to blow up but he doesn't. He says nothing. He gets into the car and quietly waits for Will to be done with the workers and start the engine.

Will is terrified of his silence since Hannibal is usually very opinionated. Especially when it comes to his kitchen. So he decides to say something.

"Idiots. They should have been more careful for how much they get paid."

"I suppose." Hannibal replies.

"No, you put so much work into this kitchen. I would be mad too."

"I am not mad. They said they will fix it."

Will is almost annoyed by his lack of reaction.

Later they get to the place where they are living for the time being and Hannibal starts cooking dinner. That's when Will hears the first sigh.

Exactly 20 minutes later, he hears the second sigh. Louder this time, Will can clearly hear it from the living room.

He checks on him and Hannibal says that nothing happened. Will starts helping him by cutting some cheese on a board. That's when Hannibal starts comparing their future house to a well matured cheese. He starts talking about the importance of the hands who take care of the cheese cause sure, time and humidity play an important part, as well as the quality of the cows and goats and their milk but if you want good matured cheese you have to make sure trustable people take care of it.

Will nods and agrees. He understands what he has to do and doesn't ask more questions. The next day he announces Hannibal he had fired the workers and found already better ones.

Hannibal smiles. His Will knows how to read him so well.

[soupandsorcery]

Day 13 - Talisman, 763 words

They move to the couch again, keeping a distance from each other. Jamie would have this conversation curled up in Roy's lap if he could, but he can tell Roy needs some space right now, and that's okay.

He can give him that if it means he's going to tell Jamie what's going on in that beard-y head of his.

Wearing Roy's shirt still helps. It smells like him, and it's comfortable. Jamie lets his fingers stroke over the fabric, soft from being worn often, and it's a sort of talisman against the nerves still squirming in his gut.

"You ain't getting any younger, granddad," he teases, gently urging Roy on.

Roy grunts in response, his lips turning up at the corners. "I'm sorry," he says in that low, rumbling voice of his. "I know I'm being a prick. I keep trying to make decisions for you because— Fuck. Because you've got all this fucking potential, and there was no one around when I was your age to tell me not to run myself into fucking the ground or to stop and fucking think sometimes. I guess I got it in my head that I needed to do that for you."

Jamie's quiet for a moment, suddenly overcome with even more fondness for this prickly twat. Always wanting the best for Jamie, but somehow blind to the fact that he's on the list.

"I appreciate it, you know that, yeah? Everything you've done for me, all the ways you push me. Even when you're not letting me have any fun. I know you're doing it because you care."

"I do," Roy agrees softly. "I fucking care about you a lot. Probably too much."

"No such thing, Roy."

"There is," Roy insists. "Trust me. Me and Keeley...It was too much. I cared too much. Wanted to be around her all the time. She didn't like that." He turns his face away, and it's clear how much that still fucks with Roy's head.

"I'm not Keeley, though? I mean, I love her—not like that," Jamie rushes to say. "But she's...dunno. She's got her whole independent boss bitch thing going on, right? She wants to spread her wings and take the world by storm."

"And you don't?" Roy asks.

Jamie hums. Considers. "I do, yeah. I want to keep winning and keep showing off and keep being fucking amazing at what I do, but...I don't wanna do it alone, Roy. I want you to be there for all of it. You ever notice that we already spend basically all day together anyway?"

Roy snorts. "I've fucking noticed. You're always underfoot somewhere."

"Fuck off, you love it. And at the end of the day, I still wanna follow you home.

"You mean that." It's not phrased like a question, but Jamie can still hear the wonder in Roy's tone.

"Yeah, mate," he replies gently. "I wasn't kidding when I said I'm pretty gone on you. That's just...what that looks like for me. You make me feel good. Safe, like. I fucking love how intense you are about shit that matters. Makes me feel like I matter."

Roy exhales in a messy rush, but he finally looks at Jamie again. "You do matter," he says seriously. And then, "I do want you, Jamie. A whole fucking lot. I want you to follow me home, and I want to make you dinner. I want to be able to show you how fucking proud I am of you sometimes, when you're such a brilliant little prick out there on the pitch. I want to fuck you into my mattress again, and make good on your dream of me fucking you over the couch. Hell, I want to fuck you in every fucking room of my house. On every fucking surface."

"Fucking hell, Roy," Jamie breathes, smacked in the face by another wave of need.

"Too much?"

"Fuck no. Not complaining. You're just fucking getting me hot, and I'm gonna be properly pissed off if you're about to try to let me down easy."

"No. No, I want—I want to fucking do this. If you can put up with me being a miserable prick all the time."

He's quoting Jamie with that, and being so fucking open and honest that it takes Jamie's breath away. The worry of the last few days is melting away, and Jamie feels lighter than ever. They're going to work, the two of them, and it's going to be fucking mint.

"Nah," he says, grinning. "Gonna make you a whole lot less miserable instead."

[roo-bastmoon]

Let women speak

In my 44 years on this planet, I have lost count of the times a female voice was drowned out or suppressed right in front of me.

In the classroom.

In the locker room.

On the field.

In the workplace.

In the home.

Let women speak.

Let women discuss and analyze and react and soundboard ideas--particularly around how women are portrayed and represented in culture.

You don't have to agree with every take, but everyone gets a take.

Women are not monoliths and fandom is not a cult. We do not have to enforce positivity and consensus in everything.

Fandom online is a predominantly female space. If we cannot make room for women's voices here, then where?

Please don't shut them down by claiming they are "hysterical" or "overly sensitive." And don't infantilize women by calling them "babies" or "prudes" or "dumb bitches."

There's enough of that internalized misogyny out in the real world; we do not need to bring it into fandom spaces.

It's totally fine to disagree with someone's take and push back firmly (in a civil tone). Lend your voice to the discussion!

I say this with love, not anger, but the amount of "Just shut up if you don't like it! You have no say in what he chooses to do!" policing tactics I've seen in the last day or so makes me extremely worried.

No one is trying to control what men (or women or NBs) create. But we are reacting to it once it's released to the public. And that is our right, as consumers and as subjects of the work.

So, no. I will not shut up. I will not hold my tongue if I don't want to. "I am my mother's savage daughter--I will not cut my hair, I will not lower my voice."

Let women process things by talking about them in their safe spaces. And if you don't want to hear it, you leave. You block. You mute. Go make a space safe for you. No one is forcing you onto our blogs or into our tags. Okay?

Police your own experience, not women.

With sincerest respect,

Roo

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for laughing at my conservative uncle?

This is an incident that made half of my family go no/low contact with each other, and some still think I was an asshole for it (I think I wasn't), but I wanna get tumblr's perspective. I was 24(F) when this happened, my uncle was 58.

Thanksgiving 2021 my family wanted a big weekend long get together after not being able to do Thanksgiving in 2020 due to lockdowns. Family members took time off work and drove in from out of state so we could all hang out from Thursday to Sunday.

We all have that one uncle who spends every family event saying the most out there racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever shit, and mine I feel is worse than most. He has some truly shitty takes like "It should be legal to hunt the homeless for sport", and "If a woman doesn't wanna get raped she should get married at like 16 and never go anywhere without her husband," and "If I ever saw a man pretending to be a woman I would kill him with my bare hands, and most of this nation would agree with me". Truly a piece of shit. Meanwhile my family knows I am extremely progressive, so they do their best to keep me and my uncle separate during family events or else it could (and has in the past) lead to shouting matches.

But here's the thing: I would happily avoid him and not talk to him during get togethers, but he loves arguing. He seeks me out. He'll follow me to the bathroom and bring up transphobic things happening in the news. He'll get up from the dinner table to walk over to me and shove an news article about Trump in my face. If he sees me enter the room he'll start talking LOUDLY about his political opinions. He WANTS to argue with me, and the family considers it my duty to ignore him and calls me an asshole when I engage, because that's just giving him what he wants. But he somehow never gets called out for hounding me, because "that's just how he is".

So it's Thanksgiving 2021. And maybe it's because of the therapy, or maybe it's just because I'm getting tired of avoiding him, or maybe it's the lockdowns that eroded my social graces, but I see him spot me from across the room and get that "ohhh I'm gonna make her sooooo mad" little glint in his eye and start to make his way over, and I don't find it infuriating anymore. I find it deeply funny that this divorced, no job, no bitches, deadbeat dad, that everyone secretly hates, has decided the only way he can get a drop of serotonin in his sad miserable life that HE ruined all by himself, is to turn to reactionary politics in a desperate attempt to get a rise out of his niece.

He starts in on the regular vile transphobic shit (I don't need to repeat it we've heard it all before, imagine the worst anti-trans rhetoric you've ever heard and yup. That's what he was saying) and I don't try to counter his points like I usually do. I just laugh. He keeps going, looking more and more puzzled, and I keep laughing.

He thinks I didn't hear him right. No no, I heard it all, and it was funny. He decides I must be too triggered to speak. No I promise, I'm having the time of my life. He guesses I'm not as smart as I think I am then, if I can't come up with a good counterpoint. Oh I'm plenty smart, and you're plenty hilarious.

Long story short he gets madder and madder that I won't engage until he's red faced and yelling. Family members are trying to calm him down and telling me to stop. I don't. I'm not mad that they're again blaming me for the interaction when I was just standing there and HE came up to ME, it's just really funny at that point. Really funny that the entire family walks on eggshells to protect his precious feelings when they could just laugh in his face like I am. My uncle punches a hole in my grandmother's wall and storms off cussing. The mood of the entire Thanksgiving weekend is ruined, and even my most left leaning family members think I'm an asshole because I KNOW how he is and I should have just walked away.

Should I have just walked away to save everyone's Thanksgiving weekend?

What are these acronyms?