#i dont care. this shouldve stayed a 1 off thing.

[gun-chucks]

just finished good omens s2. okay. what. huh

[hampterguts]

y. youre kidding me

[cartoonrival]

ok + for goodness' sake sasuke so that the screenshot takes up less space

1)parallels between naruto/sasuke and naruto/kawaki. i think honestly carrying over and actually bringing attention to the love-obsession thing that was going on sort of mostly unaddressed in the original series (in terms of no one called naruto as insane as they frankly shouldve) has the potential to be very interesting, especially because bringing it into the sphere of a father-son relationship rather than a platonic/romantic one is not really something i've seen before, along with the fact that kawaki doesn't actually know naruto much at all, making this very much an idolization of an idea of the person who saved you, someone who can do no wrong and is so without flaw. it was what this dude said:

like kawaki's obsession is weird and emblematic of how he grew up. also, the way that both of them sort of end up treating the other like a thing to be protected or owned or passed around, kawaki trapping him in time prison with zero regards for the fact that no one wants to be in time prison, and naruto's famous "give sasuke back/dont talk about sasuke like you own him in front of me/i'll get sasuke back/ill break your legs if i have to", there is the dismissal of actual personal wants However.

kawaki does this because he thinks that naruto's life is worth more than anything ever, and the reason he thinks this is because he thinks naruto is the most perfect person in the world and the only one who can save the world from evil. in naruto's case, even though he has a habit of possessiveness, sasuke is very much still a person to him, someone he violently and desperately wants to be close to. he doesnt think sasuke is perfect or can do no wrong, he just doesnt really give a fuck what wrong things sasuke does because he loves him too much and wants him too bad to ever hold anything against him. anything sasuke does is understandable and forgivable. naruto wouldnt put sasuke in time prison to protect him because then they couldnt hang out, and he knows sasuke wouldnt want that anyways. while i think naruto's obsession is insane, its more possessive than dehumanizing, which is def the angle kawaki is taking. again, i think this could be interesting if it was expounded upon but i dont think anyone in boruto is enough of a character for this actually do be pulled off in any satisfying way.

2)boruto/kawaki vs naruto/sasuke. i think honestly i just dont really have it in me to even act like kawaki and boruto have a dynamic that even comes close to the bullshit naruto and sasuke have going on, but if i were to attempt to explain why i dont think this is the case than i think at least part of it (beyond the fact taht ever character in boruto is painfully undercooked) is that boruto and kawaki's bond is based almost entirely around both being marked by karma. like they become friends sort of on a more surface level same way boruto is friends with anyone else, but its definitely not the same as naruto and sasuke's inexplicable pull towards one another since they were kids. even though kawaki has like sort of stupid convoluted internal strife going on, boruto doesnt honestly have enough inner issues to even shadow the bizarre knot that is sns. boruto and naruto both didn't want to kill their wayward friends because it's hard to kill someone you care about, i don't think that reads as a strong parallel because its like . what kind of story would it be if boruto was just like Okay lets kill him... now! also if kawaki dies naruto stays trapped im p sure so if he kills kawaki he is also functionally killing his dad

3)naruto and sasuke are both terrible parents but sasuke is leagues leagues leagues worse and he sees boruto has his son more than he will ever see sarada as his daughter. to him, she is his daughter because that is the only way she should have the sharingan. he can't really stand being around her and any interaction he has with her is out of guilt. boruto is his son because boruto is naruto's son

4)why did they bring up that jiraiya might get resurrected and then just drop it or is this me forgetting since i watched boruto 6+ months ago

[calebwittebane]

also, finished my new vegas campaign. Leigh Has Achieved Her Mission or at least the closest approximation of it that the game let me achieve, which of course is the independent ending with a full securitron army and the support of the followers of the apocalypse. the only thing is i Fackin Forgor to deal with the fiends so they caused some problems but well the trouble they caused was to the ncr so i kinda dgaf. also i was surprised some khans showed up to help me at hoover dam! i actually felt kinda bad about it like no no... ive got this... you guys have been thru enough... you shouldnt have to protect the ncr from Anyone even the legion... please oomfies stay safe....

i think some of the remnants died??? idk only cannibal johnson was still with me at the legates camp. did they die?? im so sorry arcade i think theyve died. idk how. they were in power armor shooting gods lightning at enemies. whyd they die but boone didnt. boone was with me the whole time partially because earlier he was helping me with the kimball speech mission (which btw was the most awkward thing ever. love the uncoordinated animations and the crowd of 5 people. the speech that was impossible to understand like wtf is that guy saying. topped off with every npc involved getting locked in combat/fleeing at the end. love it) and i thought hed have fun with this too. well he did and he also had fun picking up rifles off of every legionnaire corpse. why does he do that. i check on him see his carrying capacity looks weird and there he is holding 8 rifles. boy drop it. drop it. now.

anyway. i kind of dont understand what happened with the brotherhood of steel, i think i had confused the game badly. i became besties with them rather early on, i even convinced mcnamara to let me join them (which like. youd think thatd have some curious implications but again, Unfinished Game) but i never talked them into making a truce with the ncr or anything. but for some reason i told mr house i did? like right before i decided i would Not be Trying The Mr House Route after all, a decision i made specifically over his insistence that i eliminate the brotherhood actually. and then yes man also acted like the bos were gonna help the ncr at hoover dam. and mcnamara kept saying he couldnt believe he would be helping the ncr even though again the subject had not once been breached. i was like ok. and then they did not in fact help the ncr. they didnt show up. wtf was that about. lies and treachery. after all i did for you. after i fixed your air conditioning. oh im sorry, was it the robots. did you not like the robots? scared of them?

and not only that, the boomers also didnt show up even though they were supposed to. motherfucker... what did i get you bastards that airplane for... you people were so annoying and unkind and i still helped you. because i thought i could count on you. for everything i did for you. loyal i hope your solar arrays break immediately. that guy who works with loyal idr your name i hope your gf breaks up with you and then you explode. i hope all of you explode. i shouldve known. i shouldve known better.

like thats so funny. of all the factions that i had recruited the ones that actually showed up to help were 1. The Elderly Ex-Soldiers Of The Horrid American Regime 2. the great khans, Unexpected And Unannounced. oh well. we still mowed through those bastards. thats right. thats right. all you centurions and other creeps, you stood no chonce. no chonce against this hungry hungry woman. she ate caesar, shes gonna eat all of you. thats how you deal with enemies and opponents and adversaries.

as for legate lanius i fully buy into the Legate Lanius Isnt Real theory. i mean yes ostensibly theres a guy, whose name Allegedly is lanius, and hes a legate. but hes just a propaganda figure. legate lanius The Cruel Merciless Force Of Destiny Itself, The Devil, Unpredictable, Cares For Naught But Victory, with all those crazy stories of how he became part of the legion. well thats not real. hes just a tall guy in a scary mask and he doesnt really wanna be here. like the fact that you can just talk him into retreating. like hey man this campaign has already cost you your leader and youre gonna keep having a bad time around these parts. take that taste the pain. and hes just like Yeah ok Theres wisdom in what you say Youre a worthy opponent indeed. Goo Bye Bye. and sprints away. ok. scariest guy east of the colorado river you guys. had to stay holed up in the little baby camp away from any fighting until the last big battle and even then he didnt leave the aforementioned little baby camp. he wasnt leading anything or anyone. he was in his tent scared and fingering himself. scram.

felt kinda bad throwing general oliver off the dam. it was an impulsive decision and i was like man i shouldnt have done that. i barely knew the guy. kind of a gruesome way to go. sure he pissed me off and was overall a bad person but i shouldnt be doing shit like that. doesnt inspire others' confidence in my Collected Trustworthy Nature. i think.

im really glad about the good endings i got for all my companions. they just all got really chill ending slides. theyre all just kinda hanging around the mojave helping people and being cool. arcade status: chillinnnng 👍 boone status: chillinnnng 👍 cass status: chillinnnng 👍 lily status: chillinnnng 👍 raul status: ghost cowboy. veronica status: chillinnnng 👍

anyway. i had fun. and so, this concludes the epic tale of Leigh The Hungry... Leigh The Water Drinker... Leigh The Devourer Of Armies.... Leigh The Hacker.... Leigh The Dubious... Leigh The Thief.... Leigh The Sleeper, The Taker Of Naps. and what a journey it was. in a perfect world women like her would not exist. but this is not a perfect world.

[seefasters]

Regina spektor anon back at it again: the bj stuff w period of adjustment made me fucking crazy. The jealousy stuff, the jealousy stuff!! i had been so appalled and fascinated by how angry and dismissive bj was being about his own struggles in relation to others'. The stuff where he directly frames his absence from his family as uniquely worse than hawkeye's father. That seemed so unconscionably cruel. (Yet there is a way that he is a little bit right, cus he *is* missing crucial developmental stages in his daughter's life!!! He's very much in the wrong, but he is *just* right enough for u to get where he's coming from) Even more jarring was how physically volatile bj was being- something about punching hawkeye felt like such a crossed line. to me it felt like: theres no world where hawkeye punches back. He just lies there. It took really good, careful writing/acting to make someone behave as out of line as bj did and still come off as sympathetic. Mike Farrell really killed it, the monologue about how the first time erin called someone daddy it wasnt BJ.....

i rlly love bj, hes not necessarily my favorite character (Margaret Houlihan Nation rise), but he is probs the one i relate to the most. Hes an overachiever who is interpersonally easygoing and very invested in being *helpful* and behaving with integrity so he very capably plays emotional support while deferring his own needs perpetually. And he struggles a lot with envy, with an anxiety regarding missing out and running out of time. That line about being "so torn up with envy i almost hate him." re: radar and trapper slapped me in the face cus its a feeling i am so familiar with.

All of that repressed resentment and rage bubbles over in such a potently ugly way here, and i think it is so ugly *because* bj is usually such an easygoing yet morally upright guy. He is so invested in that version of himself that he refuses to deal with his own anger. Hawkeye, Margaret, and BJ are all Very repressed workaholics but in wildly different ways. Margaret allows herself to be snappish, overdisciplined, and aggressive. hawkeye turns everything into a joke and capitulates to bitter, cynical nihilism. BJ is too invested in his self image of casual kindness and morality to do either so consequently he has no outlet whatsoever- he just unexpectly explodes with rage every so often.

Also i was sort of curious about what you thought of this in relation to trapper actually. Like how bj differs as a friend to hawkeye, especially in this instance. Cus if i remember correctly trapper punched hawkeye in the face and it was sort of over the same thing! Trapper wanted to defect and a reason he gave is that he wanted to see his daughters. And that punch in the face was also harrowing, but the episodes/scenes in questjon play v differently while relating to eachother in fascinating ways. (Again heres an instance of hawkeyes closest companion visiting physical violence on him- violence that i dont think hawk would ever reciprocate)

I was curious of your thoughts.

hiiii!!

the trapper situation is slightly different in that a) he hits him with a duffel bag, not with his fist. still bad but probably hurts less and b) hawkeye does try to stop him and warns that he "doesn't want to use violence" which is like. he probably shouldve seen that coming. but tbh to me the trapper situation being played mostly for laughs and then dropped is just by virtue of it being in an early season. 1-3 had drama, but not like That. maybe if wayne rogers had stayed he'd get his own period of adjustment

in-universe though, i think that hawkeye was hit (and literally shoved aside) by both of his best friends because they wanted to return home that badly must've stung. because - yes, everyone wants to go home - but at some point its like is it the war or is it me lol. the man has enough abandonment issues as it is

i totally agree with your bj analysis! yes, bj is being a dick, but he's being a dick in such a natural way in this situation. it is so easy to forget that other people are suffering too when you're this disconnected from everything you've known

i think the core difference between hawkeye, margaret and bj is that margaret was born in the army and doesn't really have a civilian life to get back to, and hawkeye admitted to himself a long time ago that the war changed him and he's never going to be able to wash that off. but bj clings to his civilian life more than anyone in the 4077th (except maybe klinger - but he has different ways of showing it) and he refuses to even consider that the war could change him or his life. so when reality inevitably comes crashing down, he lashes out at people around him

[cloud-spotted]

NEW AND IMPROVED ship opinions

now that hazbin is out and ive had a while to digest, here r my NEW ship opinions (now with explanations!)

OTP: chaggie. they literally r both powerful and love eachother a lot,, they r a power couple. the contrast between charlie's whimsy and vaggie's jadedness is awesome too.

main ships: lucifer x alastor, and i love all the canon ships except lucililith

FRIENDships: alastor + tom trench (they r both fruity, they both say the news, they both probably drink liquor and black coffee unironically, what more do you want me to say? they have so much in common /silly), niffty + sir pentious (they r insane together. niffty would help clean while sir pentious focuses so hard on work that he becomes a shut-in. relatable king. and yet sir pent seems like the type to appreciate niffty's odd creativeness. he seems like the type who would help her organise and create machines to help her with her tasks and also make sure she doesnt work too much because he doesnt want her to be like him. checks and balances yknow)

partners in crime: alastor + vox (i dont need to elaborate if youve seen the show), rosie + alastor (canon), charlie + alastor (powerful 1 and powerful 2 wreck shit after alastor convinces her shes too optimistic.. like perfect corruption arc complete with chaggie angst where vaggie joins the dark side too and OH man lucifer realises that maybe he shouldve encouraged charlies optimism more. what potential. i love thinking about it. it would be awesome.)… everyone + alastor… carmilla + vaggie (watch their musical number again. thats my only defence)

crack ships: vox x katie killjoy (ITS SO SILLY), alastor x sir pentious (LIKE VOX X ALASTOR EXCEPT WAYYY SILLIER)

ships i support idly: angel x alastor, husk x alastor, niffty x baxter (no opinions. i have no qualms with the ships. theyre cute /shrug)

hell no: lucifer x lilith (i dONT CARE THAT ITS CANON RAHH), angel x women, katie killjoy x tom trench (katie would NOT treat him right. tom deserves better smh!! theyd be a toxic couple who both have problems n feed off eachothers negative energy. itd be gross bro im so serious. itd be GNARLY)

stay single: valentino (unless u AU him to be Not a rapist)

fics that make alastor alloromantic are things i enjoy consuming but when they pull out the "you were the one! he found the one, guys!" im like :upside_down face: so i hope its known that while theres more than one ship of alastor x someone in here, i still accept that hes canonically ace B) the ships with angel x women i just cant stand though cus every single time the person aking the fic has some homophobic ass excuse. why cant they just say "this is an AU where hes bi" or something!! anyways thats my cold take. just call it an AU. thats what a lot of the ones making alastor alloromantic do. if u know of any angel x women fics where its specified that him being bi is an alteration theyve made to his character, then lmk

[flufflecat]

rank the tma entities from favorite to least favorite! that's the first distracting thing I could think of <3

(ive been thinking very hard about my answer for like 3 days now fjkfdlsa thank you so much for this ask. also this is apparently going to be very long, so sorry about this yall)

ok so top to bottom, fav down to least fav:

CORRUPTION - i hate the corruption with my entire being, but i think its legally required to be my fav bc its My entity and i love bugs and fungi and such so very much. this dumb stupid entity just suits me in every possible way, and it makes me soooo mad. its currently stink bug season and ive already found like 4 of them in my house and befriended them. i would definitely be a corruption avatar in TMA and just spend my time terrorizing random people with stink bugs and being like "uhmm, i dont see what you think im doing wrong?? my bugs are just having a good time and i think these people just need to learn to see the benefits of having bugs around??? i think youre being really judgy right now, and need to let me chill" and also i would take jane prentiss out back and bury her in a flower pot because EW stay away from me maggot lady 🤢 (and stop pretending to be worms, youre MAGGOTS!! worms dont deserve this slander) ((dont talk to me about phylogeny and the definition of worm, i do not care. jane prentiss doesnt deserve to be compared to the kind pink creature we most commonly depict as Worm))

STRANGER - theyre the entity i WANT to be an avatar of. would be number 1 if i wasnt forced to pledge loyalty to the corruption. theyve got like the whole aesthetic down perfectly. clowns, taxidermy, weird and offputting creatures, just like a normal guy but you dont want him around, fish i guess, mannequins. its IDEAL. i want to be nikola's friend soooo badly. i think the clown apocalypse wouldve been pretty fun and jon shouldve just let it happen.

SPIRAL - they're every gay persons dream, and i dont even know why we all love them so much. their category feels so broad and im not quite sure what im supposed to be scared of here. why are people scared of fractals again?? literally no idea. im not afraid of them in the slightest, but also all of my dreams have a really spiral-esque aesthetic and all take place in giant labyrinths of hotels and amusement parks and malls and whatever. i wanna submit an application to join their cause because of how dedicated i am to labyrinths. @ the distortion, please call me

FLESH - i just think jared hopworth is really funny, and the flesh is so hilarious to me because it just feels like the working class of entities. entity thats most likely to work a blue collar job and just be a normal person you can go fishing with. entity voted somehow strangest and also most normal. why do they have a meat pit. they amuse me to no end. like alright, have fun with your meat or whatever. im having a great time.

SLAUGHTER - idk why theyre so high up on the list, but idk i think i just love some good violence. the war aesthetic bores me, but they make up for it with their dedication to knives and stabbing. entity that is easiest to make a playlist for because you just have to pick edgy songs from early 2010s amvs. Grifters Bone was actually just playing "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor Sisters.

END - death is just like kinda fun tbh. simple, straightforward, down to earth kinda entity. people really liked connecting unus annus to the end so they instantly rise in the ranking for me. i would invite an end avatar to my house to bake a pie, which i cant really say is true for any other entity.

VAST - used to be higher on the list, but one of my ex-friends really liked them so now im legally required to form a grudge. their aesthetic is great and every vast avatar just seems like theyre having a genuinely good time! being their avatar would probably be the best option out of all of them, since all you have to do is throw some people off a building every now and then, and you can spend the rest of the time just flying around the upper atmosphere or chilling in the ocean. literally nothing about them scares me. the vast emptiness of unexplored depths/heights? thats cool as hell, and i would LOVE to be stuck at the bottom of the ocean. im obsessed with how large the universe is and how small we are. unfathomably large creatures? give me more!!! whales arent big enough, and i think the vast is right to want creatures so large that you cant even perceive them. i was so disappointed as a child when i found out that dinosaurs werent like 100 stories tall. if a shark the size of mount everest showed up at my house, that would be the greatest day of my life. anyway they would be number 4 but theyre 7 now because that friend ruined them. get rekt.

EYE - tbh i dont have much to say about the eye. theyre just sorta there for me. they get points bc the aesthetic is impeccable and everyone draws dope art, and also i own SO much eye themed clothing, but like. idk. theyre watching, i guess. sure, whatever. bonus points for ben meredith though.

HUNT - im surprised i dont like them more, but to me they just feel like a less edgy version of the slaughter. theyre slaughter's slightly more boring younger sibling. none of their avatars seem like theyre having a fun time, and they just dont seem like people i could get along with. like come onnnnn give it up for a bit and focus less on your stupid job, just go camping without making it about some lame Quest or something UGH. extra credit for having werewolves though, i do love werewolves.

BURIED - every time i take a "what entity are you" quiz it gives me the buried, so i have unfortunately developed a vendetta against them. just bc i like dirt doesnt make me a buried avatar!! i have nothing against them specifically, but they just arent Me. 2nd most down to earth avatar after the end (haha thats ironic ha ha), and i could definitely see myself easily being friends with their avatars bc they all seem like pretty normal people, but eh. just not my fav. they should be, but theyre not. sorry, buried

WEB - now i do love a good edgy manipulative character, but i just dont like the web. they seem soooooo self-aggrandizing and im like GEEEEZ can you chill for a second??? i know youre maaaasters of manipulation, but join the club, i can do that too. they have probably the most solid aesthetic out of the entities, with the puppet and spider thing being super cool, but they just dont do enough with it. every time the web does anything i just wanna roll my eyes and find someone less pompous to monologue at me

DESOLATION - i love fire. i love fire, and burning things, and arson, and you guys let me down. youre a cult and not even a fun one!! get over yourselves and just learn to have a good time!! way too obsessed with their pseudo-religious imagery. they need to take a page out of the vast's book and learn to just have a good time

LONELY - eh, they just dont appeal to me. feels like too genuine of a "fear" to be something i could enjoy. im not like afraid of loneliness, it just annoys and depresses me to experience. and i dont want to be stuck around someone who builds their entire brand on not having friends. go to therapy.

DARK - they take the cult thing that the desolation is so obsessed with, and then do an even worse job at it. was ANYONE in the dark having a good time, ever? you all could be so edgy, yet here you are just being downright depressing to interact with. get some hobbies.

EXTINCTION - i dont like them and they are impossible to make a playlist for. number stations are cool though.

CORRUPTION - theyre on here again. i hate you, corruption. stupid horrible worm maggot loser entity. does nothing useful and is terrible at everything. are any of OUR avatars having a good time? No, theyre not!! i dont wanna be stuck with these maggot idiots!! the big plan for world domination was "worm door"???? dear lord. im so ashamed to be involved with them.

[diavolosthots]

Could you please do some sfw headcannons of the brothers + undatables with a chubby reader who is just the purest thing on earth and she wears cute skirts and dresses in pastel colours and loves cute plushies pretty please? (If you decide to add Luke please make his only platonic)

Hey love! I only write luke platonically but I'll leave him out of this one also

WARNING: These are demons, you're in Hell. Some of these reactions are not with "pure" intentions or good.

THE BROTHERS + UNDATEABLES with an MC whos the "purest thing on earth"

Lucifer:

Ah you remind him of his days in heaven; soft, happy, comforting. If he didnt know any better, he would've actually thought you were an angel. Though pastels are not his thing, he does have to admit that you look good in them and even though hes certain your naïve, soft nature, will almost definitely get you killed, he tries to be as protective as possible of you, for Diavolo's sake. Also he cant afford to have you die. Not here.

Mammon:

Wow you're... Different. Yeah that the best way he can put it. It kind of... Appals him at how soft and innocent you are not gonna lie. He walks on eggshells around you because he doesnt know if anything sets you off, or worse, makes you cry. Not a fan, honestly, but as long as youre not a threat, he sticks around.

Leviathan:

Lolololol what are you doing in the Devildom #1. How could they have chosen YOU for this dumb exchange program? You wont be able to survive long. They shouldve put you up in the Celestial Realm. You kind of remind him on Ruri-chan though so maybe that's why he decides to be your designated protector?

Satan:

Lolololol what are you doing in the Devildom #2. Listen he doesnt /care/ what you look like or how you act. His only instructions were to make sure you stay alive and that's what he's doing. Although, he does find it interesting how, for some odd reason, you haven't died yet. Its like a mystery he wants to solve.

Asmodeus:

Oh darling he's gonna have so much "fun" with you. This man is not looking to keep your ~innocence~ alive for very long. Really, it's kind of your fault for being so undeniably cute that he keeps making advancements on you. Still, he has to admit that those pastels look good on you. Pastel lingerie?

Beelzebub:

Immediately becomes your big brother because he knows you need it down here. Its kind of refreshing to see a sunshine person in such a gloomy place but please stick by him, demons are not known to be attracted to sunlight.

Belphegor:

The ONLY thing that makes him want to talk to you are your "plushies" because theyre soft and you can sleep with them. Also the bigger the plushies the better. Might take a huge teddy bear from you for cuddlings sake, just so you know.

Diavolo:

Yeah he honestly doesnt know what he was thinking with you. Maybe it's his sadistic side wanting to see you suffer in the pits if hell, or maybe it's because he needs someone who's not so dark and sadistic by his side. He doesnt know but he laughs at everything you get yourself into, good or bad. And of course he wont let anything happen to you! Well, at least nothing he personally wouldnt be responsible for.

Barbatos:

Lolololol what are you doing in the Devildom #3. He would never go against his masters wishes or decisions but seriously, Diavolo, WHAT were you thinking? This human wont survive a day in the Devildom with that "kind" nature of theirs. Won't say anything but uh... Good luck.

Simeon:

IMMEDIATELY becomes your best friend and protector. What in the heavenly clouds was Diavolo thinking getting such a PURE human down here??? Hes mad at the Demon Lord and actually confronts him about it because you were never meant to see hell! You were on a first class ticket up to Heaven! Absolutely not. Protects your innocence and soft mind at all costs.

Solomon:

Yeah uh.. Hes also not quite sure how to feel about his fellow human. At least he can protect himself with magic, but you? Takes it upon himself to keep an eye out for you and make sure you dont get eaten. Stick by him and Beelzebub and you should be fine.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 1-2 thoughts! I had to split up my season 3 watch awkwardly because the second part of it was too picture heavy and tumblr only wants you to have 10 pictures per post, per the No Fun Allowed Rule. :/ I was planning on just doing 1-6 then 7-13, but, it'll probably be split into 3 posts now... (along with a follow up thoughts post after I finish and think on it for a lil while...)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-vlad got a new mansion. and the guys in white IMMEDIATELY BREAKS IN AND STARTS SMASHING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING, DESTROYING HIS NEW MANSION KAJDFHSSKADJKJN. NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. 'the greatest practical joke ever' TUCKER YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT.

-'DAnnY FenTon MadE mE ThE LaugHINg StOCk oF WisCONsIn' if you dont shut up. you made yourself a laughing stock. love the cute pink hotel room. also, Vlad's Naked on The News. VLAD BUYING THE NASTY BURGER TO TEAR IT DOWN. the way they keep escalating these..pranks? IS TEARING DOWN A BUISSNESS A PRANK?? (the metric by which I decide if its a prank is if its funny to me or not. vlads house being torn down? funny prank. local burger place being torn down? maybe not. MAYBE the naked on the news prank was pushing it because he WAS in a hotel just, minding his own business, but like, he stays bothering danny for no reason when danny is just minding his own business, too! its not right but there IS a sense of vindication here. yknow?

-...'at least now he's channeling his sociopathic lonely bachelor energy into something positive!' this is unironically an insult to actual sociopathic people. 'but he doesnt care about other people!' 'and thats why he'll make a great politician!' BRUTAL. but not untrue? I mean, this is not at ALL surprising. hes a billionaire via cheating and lying, and already a huge Slimeball. So yeah, politician is 100% right.

-but did vlad move to amity park? I might be wrong about this, or illinois laws might be different, but I kinda assumed if you're running for election for mayor in a town, that you had to live within the voting jurisdiction and be registered to vote there. I mean, he's temporarily in a hotel and technically displaced rn (...I thought for sure he'd have more vacation homes...) so I guess there's probably a grace period to find a permanent home in amity park?

-ME, CHEERING DANNY ON EVERY SINGLE TIME HE BEATS VLAD UP, BEING SO PROUD OF MY SON:

-'hes overshadowing the voters!' why...are you surprised, danny???? election fraud is Nothing. did you forget he stole BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

-ok the school uniforms are kinda cute tho lol.

-NO TEENAGERS ALLOWED IN THE NEW RESTURAUNT?? WHAT KIND OF BUISSNESS IS THAT,, SO PETTY. tucker straight up tearing off the security camera. king of property destruction

-vlad trying to make life hell. For a 14 year old. who is trying to genuinely apologize and offer a truce (despite all the creepy and fucked up things vlad has done to him and his family). what the fuck can I even say about this. I think i've said several times while watching 'what the fuck is wrong with you', i need a stronger statement.

-Teens Against McMasters! Fries Not Lies! I want to see vlad get mauled by teens. I want them to start Throwing Rocks.

-vlad saying 'dudes' is the worst thing I've ever heard.

-danny overshadowing the clone was GENIUS AND MAKING HIMSELF LOOK INJURED. SO PROUD OF YOUUUU. USE HIS OWN TACTICS AGAINST HIM. GET HIS ASS.

-frostbite's design is really interesting. ghost...bones... incased in ice?? anyway im so glad danny is getting more hugs :)

-oh, they basically worship(?) or put danny on a pedestal because he defeated pariah?? well IM happy for him having more ghosts that are friendly to him :) also, sam and tucker's lil snow jackets...super cute.

-more ghost lore!!! THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS A GHOST PORTAL. OF COURSE.

-VLAD ACTUALLY DID GET A CAT AWWW KITTY I WUV U KITTY. who he plays chess with...okay, you know what, thats so valid. and actually, pets are usually actually good for mental health, you have a lil guy to care for and they can give u a reason to try ur best so u can provide for them, and they are always good for comfort...good job, vlad!! next go to therapy. 'if anyone asks, you're my sister's cat!' so does he actually HAVE a sister? can she come beat him up

-sam is Right. they shouldve immediately taken the map back to frostbite! but I get it, exploring Can Be Fun

-'carnivorous canyon' in the ghost zone is just mystery flesh pit

-vlad is going to burn a 14 year old girl at the stake. you know, I half expected clockwork to come up and stop this, because they're fucking with time, BUT. nope. this is nbd, I guess.

-well, blood blossoms are terrifying. I know 'ive never eaten a vegetable in my life!' was tucker being hyperbolic, but this kid is going to get so many digestive problems if he doesnt Start Eating Healthier.

-...vlad wanted to go to rome and be a god?? I want to know where he self-inserted himself in their already established pantheon. what did he say he was the god of??

-VLAD SET THE ENTIRETY OF ROME ON FIRE. SO THEY PROBABLY ASSUME GOD OF DESTRUCTION. GOD OF ASSHOLERY.

-how embarrassing, to swordfight a 14 year old and struggle to win. lmfao they keep running vlad off every place he tries to take over

-'if i can destroy the first airplane, man will never fly and I will rule the air!' VLAD. DO YOU THINK. DO YOU THINK THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE TO THINK OF AND CONCEPTULIZE FLIGHT???! oh my god he is so dumb. people have always been trying to fly even before that, and even if you destroyed (1) plane its not like no one else could make one??? as if people hadn't already been making hot air balloons since the 1700s??? or coming up with concepts, and studying on how to make them work? starting to think vlad shouldve paid attention in college and not been so fixated on maddie. or, I dunno, read a book in his huge library...(I mean, I dunno what he majored in or studied in college, but it obviously wasnt history...)

-vlad getting his ass kicked by snow dogs and getting shidded on by a pigeon :)

-'hes got more in common with us than he realizes!' DANNY IS A YETI??? CONFIRMED (no,, but I hope that means we'll see more of the far frozen! I like them :)

-what in the world was this episode tho. like..okay?? vlads plans did not make ANY sense to me, like, was I missing something , or. WHY is he so fixated on Ruling all of the sudden...sure he might be power-hungry, feeling powerless can do that and I'm sure the accident/being abandoned made him feel that way, but its always felt like his real end goal was just to steal jack's family out of jealousy and spite, not to like. um,, rule rome I guess. ?? theres No Maddie In Rome, Vlad.

[lisalisalisalisalove]

(1/2) Is it just me, or does nobody talk about the racism in Lisa: the Painful? I liked the series for a good few years, most of its slipped my mind by now, but looking back on it - the entire premise of Bloodmoon Mountain is horrifically racist. There’s the antiblackness sprinkled around the game of course, but I feel like the racism goes overlooked when talking about Painful’s flaws.

(2/2) It’s a little conflicting since there’s things that the game does really well, like depictions of complex trauma for one. I don’t know. You honestly just seem like one of the more (if not, most) normal Lisa fans so I wanted to hear your thoughts. Feel free to delete or ignore these if you’re not comfortable responding though.

this is one of many very sad drawbacks of the games niche appeal; because it stayed popular primarily in circles where people either didnt notice the racism or didnt care about it (i.e. /v/), its an oft unmentioned issue with the game.

i actually did talk somewhat at length about the bloodmoon tribe already and imma just leave it at what i (and that other anon LMAO) said before cause i think we covered it pretty well. its an extremely lazy and stereotypical section of the game, and i do find this extremely frustrating because the area itself is VERY cool and the music goes off. but even taking the bloodmoon tribe out of it, the other depictions of indigenous characters throughout the game are lazy as fuck too and go the same stereotype route. i dont doubt that he meant for this to be a loving send-up to his home state (he is from colorado, “olathe” is a town name in colorado as well, and obviously there is a sizable native population there), but the execution is just so god awful that any good intentions are lost completely, i think.

as for the antiblackness, i DO see it and can think of a few scattered incidents of it, but tbh i find the anti-native racism to be much more overpowering in this case. the most racist thing i can think of off the top of my head is rick’s kid being black in an obvious cuckold joke, and yeah that was pretty god awful, but im at least appreciative that the scene ends very quickly (and if im being honest, i actually didnt get this for a while after playing the game and thought the joke was that the kid was adopted but rick was pretending he wasnt LMAO).

theres also the moment when salvation black says “no race jokes please!”, but as mentioned in the other ask, thats a reference to the old rumor that the black power ranger quit due to being given a color stereotypically associated with his race. i dont consider this one particularly racist on its own

that aside, if memory serves there are a few black characters (rick’s kid included) who have red lips, but i actually think this is less an issue with austin actively using an antiblack stereotype and more an issue of his design style. a LOT of his character sprites have red lips, both big and small, and the majority of his sprites are white (or at least, not visibly characters of color), so its obvious that hes just like. taking some of those characters and making them brown instead, without actually considering the ramifications of those same traits on a brown character. yikes LMAO

again this is not to excuse any of this stuff, as its all pretty bad and he ABSOLUTELY shouldve had someone vet this shit before he published it; this is just the impression i get as a fan and as someone who has played this game entirely too much. i think an actively racist voice wouldve had a lot more malice behind it and come up much more often, but the majority of these cases are very blink-and-youll-miss-it, which i guess is what makes it so easy to not realize theyre there in the first place (with the bloodmoon tribe being the obvious exception). i do love this game with all my heart, but if he ever does rerelease it i sincerely hope he does a fuckton more research, ideally WITH actual people of color, and improves or removes this stuff entirely. this is definitely something fans need to be more aware of, and i think if he was to be open about it and admit he fucked up, it would really speak well on who he is as a person.

[felismiscellaneous]

Casonverse Expo

ok so after you see this you Cannot save it. the whole thing about the casonverse is that its solely “oral” and memory based. i cannot write down “rules” to it or anything. this post Will be lost to time and youll just have to deal with that

ok so. we begin. our story. w/ an explanation on how ectobiology has been going on earth c. basically, every once in a while to increase genetic diversity, a babeh between two of the original founders is created randomly, and said founders get to decide if they want to adopt that babeh or not.

now its been a very very long time on earth c and all of these bitches are immortal. yep. every single one. even the non godtiers, they get an immortality boon for winning the game. you know whats also a boon? all of the players getting revived. yep. every single one. because this is my au and i can do what i want.

anyways as i was saying basically at some point a babeh between john and karkat is made and this time theyre like “yeah ok well adopt this one” SO. they be goin there. and the ONE TIME they decide this is the right time the baby is fuckin BROKE. the internal organs of trolls and humans dont mesh very well when the genes are combined in the ectomachine, and this baby is basically just dying very slowly. this baby isssss Casey! well, shes not named that by her parents, but well just call her Casey for now.

john and karkat do their fuckin best to keep this thing alive but her tiny baby body is completely dysfunctional. and doesnt last very long. This is Traumatizing for Everyone Involved. anyways!! a pretty long time after that we have Cason and Jones. they were spawned at the same time. Jones is rose and kanayas horrible ectospawn, and Cason happens to be another equally horrible spawn between john and karkat! they decide to adopt this one, and fortunately it lives. This was Their First Mistake.

but before we get into Cason, lets get into Jones. Jones is,,,, very socially awkward. in fact, she often comes off as creepy to everyone else. this makes her very clingy towards her mothers, who arent That terrible at parenting. theyve got quirks, but theyre good for her. Jones doesnt really have any friends, except this Totally Cool and Not at All Dangerous cult she gets dragged into! this is the second secret shes ever kept from her mothers. the first is that shes the one who keeps bringing snails into the house. Jones likes snails, but shes not good at taking care of them. she just keeps bringing them into the house and feeding them her snack. her snack is rat poison. snails like and digest rat poison safely. snails! she likes them.

ALSO APPARENTLY SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS???? yeah lets get into that. see, Casey becomes a Regular Ghost after she dies. not a dream ghost, just a plain ol ghost. and anyways, shes around the same age as everyone else if not a year older due to Ghost Rules now, and Cason is the only one that seems to be able to see her. and then theres Jones. Jones is absolutely stunning to Casey and yes she falls so hard in dokis. but Jones is trying to ignore the fact that she can see ghosts. it makes her feel like even more of an outcast. ooooo drama! anyways those two have their own background plot going on about fighting eldritch gods or something idk.

LETS GET BACK TO CASON. see. Cason. is The Worst. like, genuinely. ever since he was a kiddo, he was a completely spoiled brat from day one, and spent his childhood Looking Down on People for multiple reasons. for one, hes the son of TWO FUCKING FOUNDERS AND RAISED BY THEM, two he got away with EVERYTHING, and three i think its just in his nature. Cason prides himself in being knowledgeable and better than everyone else, but he is not like Other Egomaniacs((tm.))

Cason doesnt necessarily care about being liked, even if he WAS a great manipulator, or being the best at Everything. he couldnt care less about sports or popularity. all he wants, is Control. just like hes had since day one. This is Terrible for Everyone Involved.

but most terrible for anyone, is Tippie Piyjon. Tippie is terezi and nepetas ectospawn, which, really started it all. now, terezi and nepeta are not horrible people, or even necessarily horrible parents, but theyre just not suited for it. Tippie raised herself on romance novels and the like, especially after being sortve taken in as a goddaughter by karkat almost immediately after she was born. and, because of this, she got to meet Cason very early on. there was hardly ever a day where the two werent around eachother, whether they liked it or not. in school, at their own house, wherever. now, being around Cason of all people all the time, meant you knew exactly how he operated.

and well, Tippie figured that, maybe, if she was just good enough, she could change him. and Cason used that to his full advantage. the two became moirails, which was Fucked Up for Everyone Involved, and grew ever closer. now Cason, being Cason, was Extremely Emotionally Abusive to Tippie. she had to do what he asked, whatever it was, even if it wasnt morally right, she had to stay by his side, she couldnt cry in front of his parents, she had to get good grades so he wouldnt look bad, so many damn things she had to do. even if he never once laid a finger on her, her mental health was, slowly but surely, chiseled down.

every attempt at defying him was met with such coldness, or hed act more warm towards her, so surely she was doing something right and had to keep going. just had to be good enough. hell get better eventually. Cason earns the title of #1 Gaslighter Extraordinare. the only place she found any solace away from him was grubscouts, which she joined on her own terms when she was very young, and at the time was a camp counselor even! this lasted. for so many years.

Cason is nineteen whenever i depict him, and Tippie is seventeen, but very nearly eighteen. eventually, she cant take it anymore, and snaps at him. usually this doesnt last, and he would manage to calm her down eventually, but shes fucking Tired of it. he hasnt changed. not even a bit. well. Cason cant have that, now can he? the first time he lays a hand on her, he slaps her across the face. Big Mistake. though terrified, Tippie lashes out, and claws Casons left eye out, making a terribly deep gash that would leave him permanently blind in that eye whether or not he got treatment.

this scares the SHIT out of her, and Tippie runs off, for the first time, to her mothers. as she cries, she recounts how terrible everythings been and how she didnt mean it and shes sorry and- theres nothing to apologize for. its very clear, that they shouldve stepped in sooner, shouldve noticed something was wrong. meanwhile, Cason crawls home to his own dads, who are rightfully spooked seeing their son with a horrifically bloody face and a gouged eyeball. they only had a second to try and comfort him, before he snapped at them, showing a bit of his true nature to them for the first time, and also, terezi showing up behind him. after a thorough explanation which was mostly just a few stern, if a little tearful words, Casons parents are completely mortified. karkat quickly kicks him out in an act of raw emotion. no chance to grab clothes, or for john to interject, Cason is left outside, alone, and with absolutely no power left. what will he do?

theres also other characters but theyre like babies so they dont have much characterization and also arent very important to the story. but here they are ig:

owen, jade and daves child. hes like, 3. he likes sticks and playing in mud. hes 3 what more do you want from him

siyren, aradia and feferis kiddo. shes like, 6. she likes ballet, arts and crafts, and being snooty

damien, eridan and solluxs kid. hes 10, likes calling people slurs over xbox, and overcompensating since his parents waited so damn long to adopt him after his slimebirth

killer, who named himself, aradia and sollux kid. hes like 11 or something. he likes being edgy and has the same issue as damien. in fact, all but siyren have this issue

toga bitch, who i have currently yet to name, aradia and eridans kid. shes 12. she likes earth rome and chilling in public fountains. a burgundy whose violetkin

wemon wemon, who is also currently unnamed, feferi and eridans kid. hes 13, the oldest. he likes earth lemon demon and horror special effects

carrie, feferi and solluxs kid. shes like 11, likes dance dance revolution and earth 9s

rosie, calliope and roxys bab, whos a baby. jane is also her mom

ben, tippies far future carapacian bf, who likes boring shit like birdwatching and scrapbooking. malewife supreme. a very soft dude, and just wants to help his gf w/ her trauma and join her grubscout troop on earning badges. just a great, if boring guy

notkonyyl, just as unnamed, a notcanadian oliveblood who enjoys going to the gym, frequenting bars, being cool, flirty, and defending her moirail to the death

notkuprum, haha unnamed, is a human, and the moirail to notkonyyl. he likes things like being annoying, flirting with everyone taller than him ((most people)), the nintendo switch, and defending his moirail to the death

[coolgirl]

Hey what's Jason's relationship with nocturna? It's the first time I've heard of her😣 and nothing on her wikia mentioned anything about Jason. She seems interesting character and I would like to know more about her.

okay I went. A little insane. Here's a retelling of her pre crisis arc, long as hell  

(this part covers Batman #529 / Detective Comics #363 / Batman #530) ok for some context: it’s pre crisis, meaning this Jason was also a circus boy. He has recently lost his parents, and was taken by Bruce, but isn’t dealing with the loss well, finding himself missing his past life. PLUS Bruce isn’t allowing him to be his partner, and that has him sad as well. 

SO he wants to go back to the circus, since hes lonely and directionless etc.

NOW. ENTER NATALIA KNIGHT! Shes a villain, think.. Catwoman meets Poison Ivy? She’s a thief, but seduces men to do the stealing mostly. 

Her backstory is basically that she was an orphan living in the streets, and met who will then become his adoptive parent Charles Knight when she was 12. When she’s already an adult, Charles gets killed, and she finds out he had big money bags bc he was a criminal. and she said. awn man i like being rich. well. time to do crimes.

she’s rlly into the night and the stars (she was the head of the observatory, which Bruce was funding through his company or w/e)

anyways. she gets away, Jason helps bruce find her (but! bruce wouldnt le him help which rlly hurt jason), and as her and her partner anton are getting away (again) batman catches up to them, but only manages to bring anton to justice, while Nocturna escapes in like. one of those giant balloons idk whats the name

the issue ends with Nocturna/Natalia sending Bruce money for the maintenance of the observatory and with Jason deciding to leave

NOW onto the next part. So in this issue we have Jason escaping home, Bruce going to court against Natalia’s partner Anton, and Natalia just vibing around, and she happens to find Jason running away from home, and they have a conversation in which she tries to convince him to go back home.

but Jason. well.

So Bruce gets back home and Alfred tells him about Jason running away, and bruce, in real bruce fashion, is all like ughg i shouldve listened to him.. well lets go get him. and alfred is like. sir. do i have to remind u u arent his legal guardian yet. u have no right to decide where he stays.

so bruce is like ugh fine. i’ll go patrol then. which he does, and turns out Nocturna was trying to help Anton escape, and well it fails, and she gets captured too. 

and that’s that for Natalia… for now ;)

NOW. this isn’t relevant for Natalia & Jason but again some context. Covers um  covers fuck a bunch of issues. SO. what happens in this time

jason goes back to the circus but is deeply unhappy

he’s still doing detective work. hasnt seen bruce or alfred in a while

alfred visits

case stuff case stuff case stuff it was the clown all along

Jason ends up helping Bruce, since they were both working the same case separately, and they make up

NOW. a lot of shit happens not relevant to nocturna. Jason isnt robin for a while, then he uses Dicks costume, then bruce gets mad at him for that bc its not his costume, so jason uses his own costume, then dick gives him the robin costume, so jason becomes robin. um stuff stuff happens and all it matters is the panel below.

NOW! BACK TO NOCTURNA! 

her comeback arc kinda starts in batman #374, where this lady is like hold on.. bruce wayne isnt jasons legal guardian wtf, is he even fit to have a kid?

so she starts digging around, asking questions 

and shes like yea this is real fishy, give me that kid

so bruce and jason try to behave like uh yes no robin and batman business. let that kid be a kid.

but welp.

and so.. Jason is taken away :( and both of them are heartbroken :( 

but u know what! bruce wayne is one stubborn fucker! and he will fight to have the legal guardianship!

and even if they’re not living together anyomre they’re still the dynamic duo in a way, which like. lol. this lady took this kid away bc she was worried about him but he still ran away.. tch tch tch.

they’re both rlly depressed about the situation

AND THATS WHAT U MISSED ON GLEE!!

NOW. SHES BACK. look at this epic cover

shes now parterning w a dude named nightshade or smth, and he like. rlly wants to hit that, but shes like um pause ⏸️✋my love is the night. the dude, like every other man, is like so im not getting anything from this? fuck u, and leaves. shes like whatevers, ugh how annoying i dont have a partner again & anton is still in prison… &  while shes again chilling she finds out about Bruce trying to legally adopt jason & recognizes jason from the time they talked

& goes to visit him

and theres also this dude, whos not rlly relevant for now, will try to stop bruce from adopting jason which will be relevant later hehe (there's a whole subplot with him and bullock but like it's not rlly relevant to Jason n Natalia) (shrug emoji)

and so. Bruce finds out..

and so the cover becomes a reality, Bruce and Natalia WILL fight in a chuck n cheese parking lot to become Jason’s parent.. and Natalia may try to pull a reverse card on Bruce

and well. Bruce rlly has no chance now does he? and turns out Jason wants this to happen since hes convinced he can unreveal Natalia’s secrets from the inside

and a lil sweet moment between father & son

and then a moment with Amanda, who, in my opinion, did nothing wrong ever

meanwhile Anton comes back, tells Nocturna he killed the dude that was bothering her, and she gets PISSSSEDD OFF shes like u TARNISHED the night by SPILLING BLOOD, u absolute BEAST, Bruce gets there, some weird stuff happens that aged rlly poorly, then Nocturna stabs Anton to save Bruce, turns out she knows hes batman, again shes like marry me to have our son (Jason) and hes like no! and leaves. While Bruce tries to find Anton, Jason is like ive HAD IT i wanna go out, but Natalia stops him

then the next morning Amanda gets her head straight and talks to Jason

but well Jason is hellbent on exposing Natalia from the inside or w/e, and eventually she gets the custody, even if Amanda tries to convince him and the judge Bruce is a better choice (since she noticed Jason clearly favors him and was in pain when he wasnt at the wayne manor)

and everyone is coddling Bruce which im adding bc its cute and i miss this relationship Bruce had with Vicki and Julia 

MEANWHILE, at the knight house. mad hatter is a a weird creepy rat bastard n tries to get control of Natalia & get the information of her brain or smth. Batman gets there & we get a Batman vs Controlled nocturna fight and then Robin also arrives and its Batman & Robin vs Nocturna, but B tells Jason to focus on getting Mad Hatter, which he does and then gets Nocturna back to normal whatever, and she again asks Bruce to marry her, which hes again like no thank u! the issue ends with this page which is rlly sweet imo

next up Anton is back but it doesnt matter rlly. a woman is tending to him, n because shes blind hes like. im batman. yeah. and she believes it. 

AND then Jason is formally adopted by Natalia

Jason is still trying to find proof that shes evil, and they share a moment. 

but jason is like. gotta fight crime! and so Natalia is like well i tried. wanna go be robin a bit?

Batman & Robin go after mad hatter, and then Nocturna joins them bc shes epic

and takes jay home bc its a school night smh

Natalia & Jason spend some time together but Jason still doesn’t warm up to Natalia which like. makes sense since shes a villain and all that, but she tries nevertheless

and then everyones most hated bitch comes back (Yes, anton) n he attacks Natalia, and then Jason when he hears the ruckus and goes to help

but gets a chop

but! Bruce was just on his way to visit them so 

fight fight bruce gets shot in the head n gets amnesia and thinks the dude anton shot & killed was him

Anton swaps their costumes n makes Bruce believe that Anton is batman not him? or smth

afterwards Jason blames himself

and him & Natalia team up to find Bruce which includes.. carrying a corpse around

for three days (well. nights) anton just runs around stealing n shit dressed as batman, n bruce is. literally chilling on a rooftop. alfred is losing his mind bc !? jason hasnt contacted him!? about what happened!? but Julia comes home and comforts him

gotham is a lil in chaos with gordon vicki vale n bullock being suspicious, and the girl who was helping anton finds the stuff he stole and realizes hes not batman.

on the fourth night Jason n Natalia find Anton

n they fight him

but Anton gets the upper hand w Nocturna so Jason jumps in to defend her

and then Nocturna defends Jason bc thats his baby

but Anton doesnt get like. killed w that ofc, and hes like fuck u i’ll kill u one day but when the kid isnt here and after batman has fallen, bye (throws jason from building)

and Natalia reagroup n well.. some things are said

bc like even if Nocturna is helping shes a villain.. right? (thinking emoji)

meanwhile Bruce finally got his mind back. not important. who cares. the lady who was helping Anton goes to the police to tell them about Anton/fake batman dun dun dun. but Anton finds out and knocks out the policeman who went w the girl (Tina!) to check for proof n shit.

and guess whos back! amanda!

back to new dynamic duo

so Jason the little rascal (can i say hes a rascal when hes doing the hero thing n trying to expose a criminal?) goes looking for proof that Natalia is Nocturna n stuff, and finds some stolen things

1. singsonging.. hes such a little shit lmaoo, 2. she was worried… pause…

anyways. they have a confrontation 

in which Natalia swears shes reformed, but Jason doesnt buy it, and is like. im gonna get gordon! and Natalia is like.. do what u think is best

but. he can’t do it..

n hes like. well shes not bad anymore.. i wish i could go back to bruce without sending her to prison which… please development..  n natalia DOES want his love..

AND THEN! BRUCE IS BACK! and he teams up with Nocturna to find Anton, but its just their luck Amanda sees them

they do sm stuff not relevant and then Bruce is like go back to ur son now, and Natalia is like.. OUR son :)

well whatever whatever they get Anton, Bruce goes back to being Batman, they clear his reputation, Jason goes back to the manor since Amanda saw Natalia, etc

(he munches he crunches) also im gonna add this that isnt relevant bc its just so funny, buenos dias alfred

anyways stuff hapens, like idk 14 issues without nocturna, the most important bit that happened is that selina is back. which she was gone. yeah. but shes back and around.

ANYWAYS! 15 issues later! shes back! some dudes entered her old observatory n were vandalizing and she was like hold up

meanwhile we have Jason calling amanda bc he well.. misses his mom and as much as he loves bruce and hes his dad its not the same for some reason

jason in every universe: i miss my mom i want my mom :(

at school Jason overheards some kids talking about Natalia in the observatory

Jason goes looking for Natalia n turns out Bullock was also trying to see what was happening in the observatory, so they kinda team up for two whole panels to find her

but Jason is like im not telling u shit.. n goes w Natalia on his own

google always taking pics

n they share a moment ;_____;

n theyre reunited.. now ur gonna have to excuse me bc i didnt download the high quality of the next tec issues n all the download links are sadly broken

but… what about natalia?

then bullock finds them

well bullock lets her go n while retelling the stuff to gordon he has.. a theory

meanwhile Nocturna.. well Nocturna is back at it again, taking charge of a band of thieves.. sigh. 

anyways, they talk, theres something weird happening w the sky that may mean the world is ending or smth, and they make up AND make out

n they have a talk thats basically like. what now? should we be together? well depends if ur still gonna steal. i need funds to get the observatory back in track (HELLO BRUCE IS RICH HE COULD PAY IT..) and hes like oh so ur gonna be a thief again.. and shes like well havent u noticed im only stealing from corrupt rich politicians!? (QUEEN) n theres this gorgeous shot

n then they go their separate ways bc its fucking batman

anyways. Selina was also investigating the group of thieves (that were like black masks old gang but he was sent to prison so Nocturna took over etc) and she sees Nocturna leaving and follows her to the Observatory but.. Jason is there too

Selina wants her GOOOONE she needs to clear her name but Jason is like. over my dead body

n well ……. the girls are fightinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

but Bruce intercepts

n now Batman n Catwoman fight and its like the girls are fightingggggg… 2! but doesnt matter look at them

and then Selina gets struck by lightning

n then theres a earthquake bc god what a damn comic, and the observatory collapses, and Natalia is trapped inside

anyways Selina is in the hospital, Anton is still killing people and knows where she is and is trying to get to her, and this little scene happens with Jason n B

n while Bruce stays with Selina Jason goes to find Natalia which is so funny like. she went to Natalia, his mom, when Bruce told him to go home and well– we al know that story.

n now its a race to get to Natalia before Anton gets to her

n its rlly sad bc like Natalia is ready to die

n 

but both Bruce n Jason are trying to reach her

and here comes Jason!

AND LIKE. the fact she wants to live after all bc of Jason rlly makes me emotional not gonna lie! not gonna lie!

and no offense but a mother’s love………………………………….. no thoughts head empty

first of all i hate anton so fucking much. secondly here comes batdad..

n Jason tries to help Natalia escape and then get back to Bruce who is getting his ass kinda kicked

guess whos coming in that helicopter.. selina freaking kyle.. the legend.. and she helps Bruce with Anton. 

I REALLY DONT GET THIS TBH LIKE. he puts her into the giant balloon so she can get away but like shes hurt buddy shes gonna die up there.. 

and. shes gone.

n Jason is absolutely devastated

n like. Bruce. as always. is like ok champ i see u got it in control, lmk when u wanna go home

LIKE HES SO SAD.. OF COURSE HES SAD THAT WAS HIS MOM....

And thats. pretty much it. Natalia is gone. 

However Jason still grieves her, and when Bruce and Selina are trying to get back together and... hes not a big fan of their relationship.. at all. But bruce tries to pair them up so they can become at least friends, since he loves them both and doesnt want to like. pick between his son and his lover

and they make a fine team, even if Jason grieving Natalia and how Selina doesnt want to take her place is brought up a couple times :(

and it gives it a bittersweet ending to the arc

and well. thats it. thats the Jason and Natalia dynamic.

Natalia reappers later post crisis but well w/o her connection to Jason.. and i really dont wanna talk about the version of her that appears in batwoman comics LOL.  

conclusion: natalia was a bad lady, who at first wanted to use jason to get money from bruce, but then she had a change of heart, and development and became a kind of anti hero? well not antihero just.. she was trying her best man. i wish she hadnt disappeared like she couldve stayed relevant to jasons story without having to be romantically with bruce? bc if u read her comics u can see that she was killed off/voided for batcat to comeback which... typical batcat! anyways. i think she genuinely loved and cared for jason and that jason loved her and cared for her right back :( 

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[fisherfurbearer]

fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’