#i dont draw them NEARLY as often as i should so im still figuring out how i want to stylize them

[bethrnoora]

thee fucking guys of all time

[dangopango00]

OM Appearance Hcs So I Can Draw Them Sometime

A/N: I was playing n then i realized they dont have much variation bc that levi line thats like “Asmo and I are brothers so why does he get all the good genes!?” So making hcs bc i kinda wanna draw them, at least headshots or sth

First Most to Least Objectively Attractive

1. Lucifer/Asmo: Tbh i couldn’t pick because imo Lucifer is most handsome but Asmo is most overall good looking; hes probably a pretty boy

2. Mammon: It was hard figuring out how to rank him but since he’s a model I think he must take pretty good care of himself + Not quite a pretty boy and i think he’s a model for a different reason than Asmo (I think he’s more uniquely attractive rather than extremely objectively attractive)

3. Satan: Idk it just feels right for Mr Perfect like hes not the hottest guy ever but he takes care of himself pretty well if asmo hasnt already done it for him + since hes a unicorn i have a hugeeee hc that hes a pretty boy who doesn’t want to be perceived as pretty n had long hair when he spawned

4. Beel: No proof other than him nearly winning that popularity contest in NB despite doing nothing + he works out. Though tbh I don’t think his face is anything crazy, like he’s cute, well taken care of and nothing to scoff at (since diet and exercise r a big chunk of skin/body health) but I don’t think he’s insanely head-turning like Asmo

5. Belphie: He’s more like a cutie. Like he can be hot but usually he has his kewt face on + he has poor sleeping habits

6. Levi: Im so sorry bbg but 😭😭 He doesnt take care of his skin or sleep on time. Hes still hot but comparatively hes dead last

Distinguishing Features Hcs UTC

Lucifer:

- Smooth thin hair

- Ya’ll hear me out… a couple grey strands JUST A FEWWWWWW it alr looks like his hair lighting thing cmon

- Thin eyebrows with a bit of an arch

- SHARP GUY sharp jawline, sharp eyes

- Eyes are like small and straight not really turned up or down

- Eyebags (He doesn’t get dark circles but he does get bags)

- Very long angular features like long hooked nose long angular face shape (I like him having a hooked nose bc i feel like he looks a bittt unique and he takes pride in those unique features. Doesn’t gaf)

- Like a poodle. Very well taken care of; prim and proper in the public eye

Mammon:

- Thick fluffy hair; keeps it soft for MC

- Eyebrows aren’t too thick but def not thin; gets them done from time to time with Asmo and/or MC; straight with no arch

- Eyes aren’t that big or small just like medium size and a bit downturned (pretty slightly)

- Also has a hooked nose ☹️☹️☹️ seeing lucifer so proud about it made him proud about it too ieueeuueueuew I HATE THESE MFS I CANTTT

- Angular face but has a softer charm to it idk. Like his chin is pretty similar but his cheeks protrude a bit more; cuter

- Really good skin naturally + he takes care of it; softer than you would think

- Really similar to Lucifer imo (ik they’re basically adopted siblings but I feel like some brothers look really alike and mammon and luci are examples of that 😭😭 feel like lucifer sees himself in mammon sometimes)

- Unrelated but like. I feel like he used to have freckles as a real young angel 😭

Levi:

- Thick tangly hair (he should brush it more tbh) (correction* YOU should brush it more) its soft though

- Thick rounded eyebrows; not super crazy but thick with a small arch— gets them waxed/plucked/wtv when he’s gonna cosplay with them showing bye

- Eyes are small and slightly upturned; cat (specifically thinking of that one card where he didn’t wanna go to school gn)

- Eyebags on good days and dark circles usually; sometimes both

- Long straight features, he wasn’t a giraffe that one time for nothing..! Long straight nose, Long face with barely any curves/angles very pretty boy

- Thin features too like thin long fingers and a slim face

- Good skin naturally + he bathes often but doesn’t really do skincare or anything so he has some blemishes

- Gremlin

Satan:

- Ik how crusty it looks in game but LISTEN HIS HAIR IS SOFT, smooth and a bit thick; slightly wavy idgafff

- His color scheme is really soft to me like maybe a slight edge with his bright green eyes but imo his hair should be lighter likeeeee 🦄🦄 idk i just love the idea that despite being the only one who was never an angel, Satan looks the most angelic he’s so fun to mould

- Pretty thin eyebrows but not super thin; arched

- Eyes are small and pretty much straight with a slight upturn

- Doesn’t have eyebags or anything; prioritizes his health

- Soft slender features with sudden edges, similar to his personality like he has an angular jaw but his overall face is pretty slender and soft in certain areas; has a greek nose

- Similar to Lucifer as well but softer (debatably softer than mammon too)

- Kept breaking out in acne or hives or sth when he first spawned 😭😭😭 stopped after like a week or sth but his brothers still make fun of him (he has sensitive skin)

Asmo:

- SOFT SMOOTH HAIR Not super thin or thick smack dab in the middle

- Strawberry blonde and 😭😭😭 thats so special to meee because it reminds me of how he and satan are more alike than satan would think; Want to be loved and often misunderstood— also has a soft color scheme like satan but his is done in a sharper way

- Really well groomed thin rounded eyebrows with a slight arch

- Slightly larger than medium eyes like almond ish

- The BEST skin, he takes care of himself so well and it pays off! He is GLOWINGGG

- Another pretty boy with a slender face but strangely enough he has a handsome charm about it; really nice jawline and straight nose

- Imo he’s like aphrodite but like for any and everyone like he’s both handsome and pretty

- Has moles but not where he wants them 😭😭😭 wants the sexy lip mole and draws it on sometimes

Beel:

- Thick fluffy hair with a slight curl to it. Like extremely slight

- Thick eyebrows with no arch or a very slight one

- Eyes are medium sized with a slight upturn

- Eyes are a bit brighter than belphie’s

- Okay skin; doesn’t do skincare but diet + exercise makes up for it and doesn’t really have blemishes or eyebags or wtv

- Has freckles HE DESERVES IT 💔💔

- Not quite angular but like wide; manly face and straight nose

- To be honest I don’t have much to say bc imo when it comes to his face he’s kinda just some basic attractive guy 😭

Belphie:

- Soft thick hair that WOULD BE tangly like levi but he gets others to brush for him gn

- Thick eyebrows with no/slight arch

- Eyes are medium n slightly downturned but his resting face they look ig siren ish n when he widens them they almost look doe

- Eyebags from sleeping too damn much but at least it makes his skin look youthful af

- Not very angular face with slightly chubby cheeks and straight nose

- There’s no reason for his color scheme to be softer but like BUT LIKE LOOOOOK 😭😭😭 he would be so cute it’d add to his dreamy temptation aesthetic

LIKE (https://www.tumblr.com/dangopango00/749877229405732864/belpheeeeeee)

- HES LIKE MESSY IN THE CUTEST WAY like hes not prim n proper but hes messy in that way you can’t help but wanna clean him up and pat him on the head

- Very similar to Beel like these mfs been linked since birth 😮‍💨

[glitchyvoice]

hey guys, figured i should probably let you know i cant draw for the time being. i no longer have access to my phone which is what i used to draw and idk when/if ill be getting it back.

i have an art tablet but it doesnt work with my current pc, my hope is to eventually buy a laptop that it would work with but as of now i cant afford to do that so i wont be able to post any art or open commissions.

ive also been a lot less active on tumblr due to time restrictions getting worse and just generally being busy in the time i actually do have, though my schedule on that should clear up soon.

when it does i plan to stream more!! zenless zone zero is out and i wanna experience that for the first time on stream, ive been super excited to see what its like.

lastly, i wanted to apologize for not talking to people as much as i was. i do still want to interact as often as i can, but due to my current schedule i havent had nearly as much time to reach out. i dont get notifications when people message me on tumblr, so i miss some of them.

if you still want to chat (and are comfy with this. obv i dont want to force this on anyone) im a lot more likely to see messages on discord!! so feel free to add me or shoot me a dm over there. (my. user is the same as it is here. i use the same user on everything lmao) i always respond unless im physically unable to at the time. :))

and thats everything i wanted to say!! just wanted to give an update since ive been a lot less active here recently.

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[jimlingss]

O SHOOT REQUESTS !!! ill take my chances and ask for a zombie apocalypse or pirate au ft. hoseok 👀 i couldnt choose between the two aus and im hoseok biased but i can honestly see any member so do as who u see fit. i will not let my pairing/au choice limit the authors talent 😤 and i dont doubt anything from you will satisfy. and pshhh,, where are my manners. please and thank u! love u 💛

↳ Crocodile Tears

1.8k || 98% Fluff, 2% Angst || Jung Hoseok || Pirate!AU

“Look what I nabbed, Cap’n.”

Gunner Taehyung’s grinning with all teeth, a golden chain wrapped around his fingers that’s so shiny it’s blinding with the sunlight. Hoseok’s intrigued and flips the locket in his hand. It’s heavy with a wild rose engraved on the front and once he pops it open, there’s a faded painted portrait of a young woman inside.

“It’s a booty, eh? Caught if off milady right over ‘ere.”

Hoseok hums and narrows his eyes on the wrench tied in rope sitting amongst the captives. Your face is dirtied, hair drawn in a bun at your crown but with many strands fallen around your face. Your gown rat’s coloured, dull gray. You are entirely unremarkable. Like any other peasant.

But it’s not often captives have something of value on them.

“Bring her to my cabin.”

“Aye, aye.”

The ship sets sail again. Taehyung keeps the captives quiet with the threat of throwing them overboard while the cabin boy Jungkook swabs the poop deck. Helmsman Seokjin mans the helm with navigator Namjoon by his side. The ship’s heading to dock at Port Galigeo to get a pretty penny for all the loot and treasures they’ve gotten after four months’ voyage.

Once steep waters are reached and everything’s been taken care of, Hoseok resumes to his cabin. There, he finds you, sitting in the corner on the floorboards with tears in your eyes. You gasp as he enters and shuts the door.

“Please! Spare me!” you beg sorrowfully. “Let me go!”

“Why should I?” Hoseok tosses his hat onto his table and his coat to his rickety chair. You look so frightful, even when he’s still in his drawers and shirt, held together by the red sash.

He fiddles with the many golden rings across his fingers, a habit since he began his adventures, and he comes over to you. Hoseok’s boots are heavy against the floorboards, and he crouches down to meet your trembling eyes.

“I-I am just a peasant,” you sob. “I have nothing to give to you! My father is merely a farmer.”

“Oh? Then what be this here?” Hoseok dangles the priceless locket in front of you as the corner of his lip curls. It catches the light from the tiny window of the cabin and the gold gleams against your eyes, practically sparkling like a jewel. 

Your eyes flicker from it to him, hiccuping and frame quivering like a damn leaf. “It’s my grandmother’s. She left it for me before she passed.”

Hoseok hums a low note. “An’ if this be your grandmother’s, how she pay for such a treasure? Unless she been a thief.”

Your downcast head shakes. “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

He pops the locket open before taking a good look at it. “This here be a portrait of you, isn’t it? You look different. Lavish. Like a noble’s daughter.”

“T-That isn’t me.”

“Then who?”

“I don’t know.” 

There’s something rather pretty in the way tears drip down your cheeks, so soft and gentle like jewels of their own right. But Hoseok has seen many women, children and men cry. It’s nothing astonishing.

Hoseok smirks, a rush of air leaving his nose. “I’ve been cap’n of this ship for nearly a decade, dearest. I’ve held treasures you could only dream of, been in battles that nearly lost my leg, sailed ‘cross the seven seas with me mates. I know when a wrench lies.”

His eyes are narrowed in on yours. And Hoseok comes closer, hand lifting to grab a hold of your chin. But before he can, before he can blink or breathe — suddenly, you brandish a piece of glass against his exposed neck. 

The ropes around you clatter to the ground. Hoseok feels the sharp edge of the glass digging into his skin, a moment away from nicking him and drawing blood. But more notably, your eyes are aflame. Your expression is dark and you’re scowling at him. 

Gone is the fragile little girl weeping for mercy.

“Don’t come closer,” you warn in a low voice without a single tremble.

He leans back, but his gaze stays on yours. “You reckon you could kill me?”

“I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Hoseok’s mouth curls, grin stretching into his cheek. His interest is piqued. He knew there was more to you beneath the surface, and he’s happy you haven’t disappointed.

His hand latches onto your wrist to force your hand away. It's a battle of strength. One that he ultimately wins as the piece of glass goes clattering on the ground out of your reach. He sees it’s part of a broken bottle. But Hoseok’s much too put off guard and when your leg kicks out at him, he’s smacked square in the chin.

He grips it as he lands on his ass, sharply exhaling. But then he bursts into chuckles.

“You got some mean spirit in you, sweetheart.”

Unfortunately for you, Hoseok has far too much experience in combat and capture. Even if you try to kick, strike and even bite him, it’s not too difficult to get you tied into ropes again. Except this time, he makes sure to use his special knots and get you so wound up, no sharp edge could free you. 

“Let me go, bastard!”

“Settle down. You’re only gettin’ yourself riled.” Hoseok crouches in front of you again and comes to wipe away the stray tear on your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You angrily scowl at him, chest rising and falling. Crying won’t get you far now, not when he knows they’re just crocodile tears. “Don’t get yourself worried about someone hurtin’ you. Everyone on this ship swears by our code, me included.”

You scoff. “As if I’d trust a pirate.”

Hoseok smirks. “If I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve done so already. It isn’t pleasin’ for me to force a girl like yourself either. Not when I have plenty o’ gold to play with a wrench at the dock. Now I suggest you behave or my Quartermaster’ll throw you overboard.”

“Then do it!” you shout at him with your entire body, only to flop over to the floorboards.

He grips the knob of the door and looks over his shoulder. “No. You’re too much of a treasure, sweetheart.”

The sun is falling over the horizon when Namjoon approaches. “Everything go well with the girl?”

Hoseok hums and turns with a glint in his eye. “Tell all hands to keep her separate.”

Port Galigeo is reached within two days time. The waters are calm without storms and the stars are clear at night. The sailing is smooth and so the docks are reached faster than ever before.

The men aboard are eager to sell the loot, to spend a few days ashore, spend nights at the brothel and replenish the rum. As follows, their steps are quick and they move the crates of jewels and tools to the harbour. Seokjin also takes care of the captives, leading them in a straight line off the gangplank to be sold.

“Cap’n! What ‘bout the beauty ‘ere.” Taehyung points to you.

Hoseok meets your eyes and you’re seething, glaring back at him. The corner of his mouth curls in amusement.

“Leave her. Tell the lad to watch over her till we return.” He points to Jungkook and Taehyung nods with an ‘aye, aye’. 

Most of his crewmen take care of business, getting as much gold for the loot as possible. But Hoseok fiddles with your pendant in hand and heads to a jeweler. Said jeweler is an old man who quivers upon seeing him, Namjoon and Seokjin in his shop. He hides behind his table and cries, “Please! Spare me! Take what you must!”

Hoseok sighs. He doesn’t know why everyone thinks so badly of him. Maybe because he’s a pirate and he and his crew have pillaged countless. That’s fair, he supposes.

“Stop yer quivering,” Seokjin spews out, leaning against his table. “We need you to look at somethin’. Hurry before I steal your silver!”

Hoseok lifts your golden locket, letting it dangle from his hand. 

The old man eventually slinks out when he realizes they won’t do anything, and he takes out his magnifying glass. He motions for him to bring it forward and Hoseok does. The old man hums, studying the locket before flipping it over in his hand. His thumb brushes against the wild rose engraving.

“Where did you get this from?” he asks.

“Don’t matter,” Namjoon says curtly. 

Hoseok studies the man’s face and leans closer. “What is it?”

“It is a very valuable locket. I happen to recognize this symbol as well. It is the emblem of the Crochetta Kingdom.” He pops the locket open to the portrait of the young woman and looks up at Hoseok, clearing his throat. “I believe this locket belongs to the youngest princess of that kingdom. The runaway.”

Hoseok’s brow cocks.

The three of them leave in a hurry. 

Seokjin’s eyes are glazed as his mouth starts to spew how Lady Luck is truly on their side, how they’ll be able to get their hands on a high ransom or sell you for countless riches. Namjoon is perplexed at how a princess like you managed to get here when Crochetta was countries away.

But Hoseok remains quiet. He doesn’t plan to trade you. He doesn’t ask questions.

He is entirely and wholly intrigued. Like never before.

“Blimey, the ship!” There’s a shout at the docks and Hoseok is torn from his thoughts. Taehyung has his hands in the air, cursing aloud. And Hoseok’s eyes trail from him to his ship that’s off the dock and disappearing over the horizon. “It’s sailing away!”

Seokjin is aghast. “How?!”

“Who’s still on?!” Hoseok shouts, looking around the dock to all his shocked men and their mouths drawn open big enough to catch flies.

“That girl,” Namjoon says, looking at the captain.

Hoseok tied you tightly, he made sure of it. Unless you freed yourself again. But it’s not possible that you lifted the anchor. 

No. You must’ve cut the rope.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

At the same time, there’s a high-pitched shriek in the distance. All of the men are held to their spots on the docks as they watch a tiny figure in the horizon get pushed off the ship’s deck and then plopped into the waters. 

There’s a loud splash.

You stole the ship.

Hoseok is quiet when his men turn to him. They don’t dare utter a single word, far too afraid their captain is boiling with anger. But what frightens them far more is when Hoseok suddenly bursts out into chortling laughter.

He laughs and grins as he watches his ship sail into the distance.

You were truly a treasure hard to find. He knew it when he saw you.

And now, he’ll just have to catch you again.

[anxiousgaypanicking]

thinks about trans logan..

i dont know if you specifically were thinking about mtf or ftm logan (or nonbinary logan) but im gonna assume you meant ftm

and i will now proceed to write about ftm logan for you anon :D (even though this mainly turned into me heavily projecting. aha... whoops).

warnings: descriptive dysphoria, unsafe binding

He knew it was unhealthy, and the pain he felt afterwards always reminded him that there were better alternatives, but this was all he had.

Having upsettingly outgrown his old binder, he was left with no other choice but poorly bandaging up his torso in a desperate attempt to appear flat chested while he waited for a new one to hurry and ship.

Unwrapping his chest, Logan resisted the urge to stare too long at the inconvenient breasts that ached when finally freed. He instead turned to the side, inspecting the deep, red marks left behind as a result of the bandages.

He should be smarter than this, but he couldn’t stand the extra, useless organs on his chest. He didn’t want them. He loathed them.

Logan sits back on his bed, arms crossed over his breasts, as he bit his tongue and glared down at his thighs. No matter what he was called, what he wore, or what he asked to be perceived as, a majority of society would still see him as a girl. And what’s worse is the fact his breasts would spur on creeps who’d harass and then insult him when he insisted he wasn’t a girl.

Testosterone hadn’t helped much either. He knew he had to give it time, but how much time? It was different for everyone, he often reminded himself, but that could only quell his impatience for so long.

His voice hadn’t deepened at all, he had no facial hair, and even when he cut his hair, his feminine jawline and overall facial structure still made him look like too much of a girl.

He didn’t want to see it. Every day he was forced to look at the wrong body, and there was little he could do to change that.

There comes a knock on his door, drawing Logan out of his thoughts. He looks at the bandages piles on his floor, and sighs, as he opts instead towards uncomfortably pulling on a sports bra, and pulling a baggy NASA hoodie over his head. Due to it being a few sizes too big, it hid that his breasts were there, but it didn’t get rid of them completely.

He opens the door afterwards, revealing Patton. “Hey, Lo!” he greets, stepping into the room despite not being invited in. “Me and Vi are heading to the park later. I called to see if you’d want to come with us, but you didn’t answer. Figured I’d stop by and double check, just in case you were still asleep or something.”

Just the thought of Logan still being asleep at this point in the day was illogical, but Logan supposed Patton cared about making sure he felt included. 

“I’d rather not,” Logan answers, more so because running or playing around with his chest exposed would bring on copious amounts of dysphoria than not wanting to hang out with his friends. 

He didn’t feel like using the bandages to bind again, either. At least, not today. 

“Any particular reason...?” Patton asks, seemingly confused at the fact Logan didn’t want to come spend time with them. He usually jumped at the idea to simply go outside, and now he didn’t want to go at all. He scans Logan’s room, before looking at the bandages piled on the floor. 

“Lo...” he begins, before Logan sighs.

“Stop,” Logan interjects, rubbing his temples. “I know what you’re going to say. I know it’s unsafe; it’s all I have right now.”

It’s Patton’s turn to sigh, picking the bandages up off the flow and wrapping them up, before setting them atop a nearby dresser. 

“How long before the new binder gets here?”

“A week, at the least.”

Patton nods, sitting next to his friend on the bed. He takes Logan’s hand in his, not saying anything, as there’s nothing that could be said. 

The two of them could just hope that things would get better from here. 

unsafe binding! lets talk about it. 

i personally dont bind (im lucky to be flat enough where if i wear a tight tank top i look flat as fuck) so i’ve never had to deal with it. however, a close friend of mine recently got a binder after nearly two years of extreme dysphoria and facing rejection from his parents. he would use ace bandages to wrap up his chest, and had horrid lacerations and breathing problems as a result. wrapping your chest with bandages may seem like the best available option, but it’s unsafe for multiple reasons. while this may seem repetitive and unhelpful, the most you should do if you don’t have access to a binder is wear a tight tank top (or two, over each other) or sports bras. and while i know that that doesn’t always help, or it doesnt change much at all, the damage you’ll do to your body by using unsafe methods will be worse. 

remember, things’ll get better. if youre in an unsupportive or unsafe environment, youll eventually get out of it. i know the future looks so distant, but when it arrives and you get to actually be you then things will be so good. you just have to stay patient, and stay hopeful. <3

[pocket-clown]

a journal mishap;

// original request: Ooooh I don't know if you've done this before but could you write a fic where the reader finds Arthurs journal and reads his notes about them? Like what would he write about?? How'd he react to reader confronting him about it? 😳

thank you for the request, anon!

Summary: After not realizing that he, in a tired haze, had dropped his journal on the bus, Arthur is ultimately forced to admit his feelings for you - which to his surprise, end up being much more reciprocated than he thought.

Words: 2,970

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Arthur could feel his heart practically seize up in his chest once he shrugged off his hoodie and realized that his journal wasn’t tucked into the waistband of his pants like it usually was. 

He always kept it there on therapy days. Always. 

He had brought it with him, right? Of course he did - his social worker asked him to, so he always made sure that he did. She even read some of it today, much to his surprise and ultimate discomfort, but she gave it back and he remembered folding it and tucking it into his sweater like he always, always did.

So where was it? 

“Happy?! Is that you?” His mother’s shout for him momentarily brought Arthur down from his panic, though it was short lived. 

“Of course it’s me, mom. Who else would it be?” He sighed, though his tone was gentle as he slipped off his shoes, leaving them in front of the door before making his way further into the apartment where Penny was sitting in her chair as some old news rerun played on their small television. She only glanced up at him for a second as he moved the pillows on the couch around, just checking so he could be sure that he actually did bring his journal with him today and didn’t leave it hidden away at home.

“Well you never know with this city, anymore. Just today there was another break in - it’s very unsafe here.” Penny nodded towards the television as the newscaster went on to talk about an apartment burglary that wasn’t too far from their own building that occurred recently - recently, as in almost a week ago, but Arthur didn’t feel the need to point that out. He didn’t know what the point of replaying old broadcasts was, but at the moment he didn’t really care. 

“Oh, ma - you don’t think I could protect you?” Arthur teased, taking a seat on the couch so he could actually rest a moment for the first time all day. “No one’s gonna bother us - we don’t have anything they’d want, anyway. Are you hungry? Do you want some dinner, now?” 

He didn’t miss the flash of doubt that crossed his mom’s face in regards to his comment about protecting her, but still smiled once she nodded and said that he should at least eat something, too, because he “always looked so tired, now.”

His journal wasn’t on his desk, either, he saw as he made his way into their small kitchen so he could heat up her dinner. His panic was only growing as the seconds ticked by, and he absolutely racked his brain while he thought about where he could’ve possibly left it. He hadn’t stopped anywhere on his way home from seeing his social worker - work was much earlier that day, and he didn’t need to go to the pharmacy - so there was no place he could’ve accidentally left it at.

So where was it?

While waiting for his mom’s TV dinner to heat up did he pace the small kitchen, briefly considering asking her if she saw it around - but he knew there really would be no point in that because he knew that he brought it with him for the day, so she wouldn’t have seen it around. That, and the fact that his mom really didn’t need to know that he’d lost his journal; “sometimes I don’t know where your head is” she’d always say with a sigh, and he’d always been so careful with it, insisting that he wouldn’t lose it, that he couldn’t - because not only did it have his private thoughts in it, but it also contained his original comedy material that he didn’t want just anyone else getting their hands on. 

“Happy, did you take the bus home? The weatherman said it’s going to rain again, tonight.” Penny called from the other room, oblivious to her son’s turmoil.

Arthur opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, he was hit with the realization;

The bus. 

The bus! 

He must’ve dropped it on the bus!

The bus - which was long gone by now.

Arthur groaned, before he turned around and thud his forehead into the refrigerator out of frustration.

                                                          ----------

"i dont think shed even be inturestid"

“im too old anyway”

“shes pretty. she has a nice smile.”

“would she be mad if she knew i followd her again?”

Though not spoken aloud, the words read loud and clear inside your head. Sentence after sentence about who you presumed to be yourself filled one of the many pages of the journal you’d found on the seat of the bus, crude drawings of what looked an awful lot like you in your sweater lining the margins. 

It was Arthur’s journal that you held in your hand, indicated by the scratchy writing on the front label that read Arthur Fleck. Of course you didn’t know this when you initially found it; it was already flipped open, haphazardly plopped in the corner where the bus seat met the wall, as if it had fallen there without its owner realizing so after they got up. It was flipped to a page full of messy handwriting, and at first you were just planning on shutting it and handing it to the driver in case the next day someone came around looking for it, but then your eyes fell on your name with smiley faces scribbled all around it at the top of the page. 

At first you figured it must’ve been a coincidence; Gotham had a few million people living in it, no doubt did at least a handful of them share a name with you, so this could’ve been about anyone - but that’s when you scanned the page and saw details about you specifically written down, accompanying the aforementioned drawings, and it hit that the was writing about you. You’d flipped to the cover for a second as you sat down in your seat, no choice but to as the bus had begun moving, and that’s when you saw that it belonged to Arthur and your heart fluttered in your chest.

Did Arthur really feel this way about you? You questioned as you peeked where you’d left off, for a second time.

“got to find a way to talk to her more”

“shes the only one thats nice to me”

“i reelly really like her” 

You quickly flipped the notebook shut for good this time, pressing it’s worn body to your lap before sinking back into your seat.

This was Arthur’s personal journal - his personal thoughts - you couldn’t just go through it like that, no matter how much you may want to. 

You knew Arthur was troubled; not that he was dangerous or anything, even though some of the other tenants in the building spoke of him like that was the case, but within the months that you’d known him the two of you had grown fairly close and you’d learned enough about him to know that he struggled with much more than most people would ever even come close to. It broke your heart, if you were being honest; he tried, he tried so hard to better himself and take care of his mother and try to make those around him smile - but so often did those same people, and at times did it seem like life itself, figuratively and sometimes literally in the case of the former, spit on him.

You both shared a bus; the stop was a level down from the street your apartment building was on, so you’d always walk there and wait for the bus when you needed somewhere to go, and a handful of times had you bumped into Arthur, him being nothing but polite - shy, he seemed at times, but you were the same way so you didn’t mind. On some days, though, he didn’t even need to tell you that he’d had a bad day - the way he’d barely lift his head to look at you as you passed by said more than any words ever could.

Arthur usually got home around this time, and considering you found a belonging of his, you realized you must’ve literally just missed him through the hustle and bustle of the crowd as everyone poured out of and refilled the bus. If you’d found it sooner, you would have run right off the bus to find him and return it, but within moments of getting on said bus and within seconds of finding it, the bus had began moving, and you were ultimately forced to keep hold of his journal for the next who-knew-how-long.

Delicately did your fingers trace the edges of the journal as you gazed out of the window as the bus moved through the streets, taking you to your location after making a few stops to exchange passengers. You mulled over the situation; how would you even approach Arthur about this? Just knock on the door and hand it to him? Leave it in front of the door? Should you even mention that you read some of it? With the way he wrote about you, you felt that you shouldn’t because it seemed so personal that you worried the poor man would die of humiliation if you told him you knew how he felt about you, but you kind of wanted to. You’d be a big liar if you said that the way he wrote about you didn’t make your heart flutter, and you’d be an even bigger liar if you said you didn’t feel the same way. 

It would be awkward - but you needed to return it to him, and you hoped you would be home early enough to do it tonight.

                                                         ----------

Almost two hours later at nearly eight in the evening did you finally return, and within those same two hours had Arthur practically driven himself up a wall with anxiety regarding his missing journal. 

His mother, barely awake next to him on the bed as they engaged in their almost-nightly routine of watching the Murray Franklin show had seemed blissfully unaware of her son’s restlessness, and Arthur could hardly stop himself from flying to the door once he heard a knock at it, praying that it was some sweet stranger who was kind enough to somehow manage to track down the owner of the notebook they’d found.

Though it was no stranger, Arthur was still relieved when he opened the door, a fond smile on his face once he saw who was on the other side.

“Oh - Y/N, hey.”

“Hey, Arthur.” You paused for a beat, not sure how to say what you wanted to. “Are you missing anything?” 

“Oh, no? I don’t think so.” His voice was quizzical; he seemed a bit caught off guard by your odd question as he’d taken a second to respond. He needed to play it cool and not trouble you, he thought to himself, but after a second of contemplation he figured that it was best to admit that he had indeed misplaced something - you were always nice to him, maybe you would help him find it. “Actually, I’m missing -”

“This?” You cut him off, holding out the worn notebook to him before he slowly took it from you, his eyes looking between your own and it a few times.

“Where did you…?” 

“The bus. It was in my seat. I realized it was yours after I closed it and saw.. your…. name.”

You sighed, eyes closing once you realized you had pretty much just admitted that it was open and that you had read it, to some degree. “I mean - I didn’t really read much of it. If I had known it was yours then I wouldn’t have read it at all, I just - didn’t know what it was. I didn’t read a lot.” 

Arthur’s eyes went wide at this, and he looked absolutely petrified. 

“What… did you read…?” 

“Oh! It was nothing, it was just - ah - ,” You pause, your hand finding its way to your face and you scratched at your cheek, shifting awkwardly in place. You’d lie, if you could; you’d save yourself the embarrassment of admitting that you had snooped, and Arthur the embarrassment of knowing that you had read his personal writing. 

“Am I really the only one that’s nice to you?” Quickly, barely above a whisper, did you blurt out your question. You honestly didn’t know how else to answer his question, other than with one of your own.

Arthur was dead silent as he stood in the doorway in front of you, his hands squeezing the sides of his journal as he stared you right in the face, and you couldn’t bring yourself to break eye contact with him.

“Y/N - about that, all that... I’m - I - ,” He looked like he was about to die. Arthur brought his hand to his neck - he could feel a laugh beginning to choke up in his throat - and he turned his head away from you as he tried to keep himself calm, his voice strained as he managed to choke out a remorseful “I’m sorry.”

“You’re really the only one that’s nice to me, too, you know.” You said, your voice soft. It was true; everyone else in Gotham was so damn rude all the time - but not Arthur. Not your sweet, albeit troubled neighbor. 

Arthur let out an abrupt laugh at this, immediately slapping the hand that wasn’t squeezing the life out of his journal over his mouth. He refused to make eye contact with you, fearing that doing so and seeing the look of disgust and judgement that you absolutely, without a doubt had would push him over the edge and cause him to erupt into a full-blown fit.

“I mean it - I like how you wrote about me, Arthur. I really do. I’m sorry that I snooped - and I’m sorry that I’m kinda making it worse right now by going on about it.” You almost laughed, the heavy regret you felt weighing down on you, your face feeling hot. Never in the short time that you knew him did you see Arthur get angry, but you felt that he was probably pissed at you for going through his personal diary like you had, and you wished you could’ve gone back in time and just gave it to him and said you found it on the ground, or something.

Unbeknownst to you, though, Arthur wasn’t pissed. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t even mad. The look on his face once he finally managed to look at you was one of pure perplexity, rather than anger; he looked, if anything, like he didn’t believe you. He looked like he expected this to be some big, cruel joke.

“I shouldn’t have read it, I’m sorry, but… now that I know how you feel - I should probably admit that I feel the same way.” You whispered the last bit, afraid that maybe you’d totally misinterpreted Arthur’s writing and it, in fact, was about someone else, or that his feelings for you had gone down the drain now that he knew the context surrounding how you’d learned about them in the first place.

“No - you can’t,” He choked out in between the laughter he was trying so hard but ultimately failing to suppress. “Why would you like me?” 

The amount of utter disbelief in his voice expressed at the mere idea of you liking him back was heartbreaking, to say the least. Whether the tears in his eyes were from sorrow or his laughter (which you knew the reason behind; one of your first meetings with him was rather awkward and in the end he’d been forced to hand one of his condition cards over to you as he broke down in a fit) you had no clue, but they didn't keep you from stepping up to him, closing most of the gap that was between the two of you as you took one of his hands gently in your own.

“Arthur, I really mean it. Hey… if I didn’t, do you really think I’d still be standing here?” You spoke, and when Arthur failed to take his eyes off of the ground to look into your own, you tilted your head ever so slightly so you could get a better look at his face before you took a peek over his shoulder, into his apartment. “Hey, is your mom awake? Would you be able to step away and come to my apartment for a bit, so we could talk? I’d really like to do that, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”

You hoped that smiling how you did at Arthur once he finally raised his head, tears in his eyes, was enough to convey how sincere you were in your words. You wouldn’t play with his feelings like that - you couldn’t, even if you wanted to (though why anyone would want to was beyond your imagination), and you honestly expected him to reject your suggestion and slam the door in your face under the impression that you were. When he didn’t though, and instead tightened his grip around your own hand ever so slightly, a scoff of a laugh leaving him, you felt your heart thud with relief. 

“I don’t - are you sure?” His voice was still tight, though not as much as before, and you hoped that was an indicator that he wasn’t as worked up. When you nodded in response and told him that of course you were sure, you could almost see the relief wash over him, and though you knew that it would take some time on both parts to really let it sink in that your feelings were mutual, you were more than happy to spend said time with him. 

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taglist (adding hours later because in my rush out the door it completely escaped my mind to add this o o p s sorry!);

@tahliamalfoydepp @tsukiakarinobara​

[thevanyahargreeves]

hey guys this week i deiced to take a break from lets draws on e olde youtube channel and post a nearly 20 mins long video of me rambling about what i want to see from umbrella academy. but i know some ppl just dont want to hear the ramblings of a pinhead and made this text post. 

again these are just ten things i hope to see from the umbrella academy series. (cant promise this wont be rambly) 

1. punk vanya

2. at the very least mention that diego and vanya were close and had a band. one of the main things that i feel was very important to their characters, like they were close their falling out was a major thing to them. its something that pushed diego to who is in the comics and made vanya withdraw into herself more. these are two characters with a very deep and rich history together, i feel that if the show were to omit this, we’d really be losing out on some good character drive, unless they figure something else to fill it in.

3. allison and diego still have their disabilities, or is at least hinted at. its not super obvious that allison lost her arm and now has a robotic arm, so i dont really see a reason not to have it? diego with the promo photos ive seen so far they seem to be like veriing away from it, tho i hope its like a glass eye. im not really mentioning luther in this bc it seems like theyre trying to maybe include it but at this point im sure theyre not.

4. give vanya a cat.

5. per seus , or some sort of implication that he exist in this world. bc i feel he is a major player in this and does become one in the 3rd comic arc.

6. allisons daughter is mentioned. i feel that growing up with a robotic mom does something to someones idea of how a mom should be/act, with allison she grew up knowing that her original mother gave her up and grew up with an artificial one. tho this goes with the other characters as well, itd be interesting to see this sort of realtionship play out. i know its sorta being addressed in the comic but not as much right now it seems. (i feel like i might have left this one out of the video oops!)

7. luthers ben bot. could just be the first steps to showing that everyone feels some sort of pain and guilt over what happen to ben. esp luther bc he may (or may not) have caused his death. and i feel like that would def show that hes capable of being more than just this straight lace man.

8. white violin arc. lemme see vanya go ape shit.

9. competent klaus and sobriety. klaus is more than the drugs he takes, i hope we see some more fleshed out character from him in this, i feel that a lot of the promos show him as being a jokester of the crew, the real odd ball. but i know he can be more than just the LOL IM SO RANDOM XD emo boy. i want klaus to be this character that despite his trauma and this dependency on drugs hes able to move on a cope outside of drug use and not let the people hes lost defined him or continue to live with their ghost. in the comics hes shown to be very competent and probably the more well grounded character of the bunch, he gets shit done.

10. the outsides world and the family’s interaction. something that i think helps with the realism of any story is how outside forces act to the ones we’re following. some of the interviews i saw mentioned the academy being seen as child stars and later on as sort of washed up “child actors” type celebrities. i feel like it is something that happens pretty often, ppl outgrow the things were used to be as as adults and begin to cope with it in different ways. ppl from an outside perspective i feel wouldnt understand the effect this had on them. thats something i want to see, just how the world reacts to them now and before. 

[mimimariet]

hi, im depressed.

but i’m also happy.

that’s probably a weird combination to have, but it’s normal really. i’m sure everyone knows that. and im just really open about a LOT of things which i’m sure anyone else with a mental illness wouldn’t be this open where as they should be open with like. a professional. but i don’t care.  as everytime i vent and cry i gotta say my disclaimer of the usual: people have it worse, i am seeking help (on meds rn), not looking for sympathy or pity, not trying to normalize the negative parts. though anyone out there if theres a hard relate or looking for hope or just plain bored reading my content. hello. i’m depressed. but i’m also happy.

when i say that i mean my hearts pretty happy.

when i’m depressed i mean my situation living here. my coworker is a piece of shit who constantly antagonizes me. he’s been talked to but he dismisses everything ever said. he’s also a huge transphobe and racist. instead of being educated he rather argue and say “offensive humor is just humor, not everyone will like it.” that’s not a defense to have. he’s also a huge trump supporter so you already know he’s a lost cause. dunno why his mom bothered popping him out.

not to mention the already been before mentioned of my family degrading me. just florida in general is shitty and i’ve expressed it for a while now -- i hate living here. the people suck, my job sucks, the weather sucks. i dunno i’m not happy here and i haven’t been in a while. i dont think there was a point where i said I LOVE FLORIDA. shits expensive. i’m 24 years old. i can’t even afford to rent some place. and i’m still walking, i don’t have my license.

it’s just frustrating that for like a year now i’m finding myself crying every night. well. almost every night. do i deserve to be treated like dirt? i dunno. is this karma for being a shitty person? i’m honestly neutral with people. but i’m fed up. and i want to fight. if i fight though i’ll be the one in trouble.

coworker sprayed me in the face by accident with glass cleaner. which causes irritation in the eyes or skin. i reported it but he’s still harassing me. and he’s been threatening me. claims “i only mess with you cause you mess with me.” yeah it’s a reaction. theres consequence to action. you’re gonna get smacked. you’re gonna get a bruise from me. i’m tired of it.

other than that though.. i’ve had some pretty great support by my side. like. i dunno. my hearts happy. give credit where credit is due. i’m so grateful for isaac. i feel so so so loved and i love him so much.

and i’m terrified cause he’s visiting in 56 days. he’ll actually be here. bought the tickets in november. and i just hope it goes well. i really do.

lot of personal issues i have to work on but a lot of them are really vanity along with mental problems. shit i can’t really afford right off the bat. take years to fix this mess. why im so nervous.

just ready to be with someone whos got that unconditional love for me and i really hope he still likes me upon seeing me at the airport LMAO.. ughhh. i’m miserable i’m so so miserable.

i’m worn out. there was a week where i was unbelievably exhausted. i’m a workaholic. i’ll draw constantly. i’ll have manic moments where i’ll literally draw the whole day and miss meals. (i’m not healthy lol) but for 2 days i slept. for 12 hours each. and i hated myself. i quite literally took days off. and i hate doing that cause i’m left with guilt of UNPRODUCTIVITY. which is something i need to work on.. Giving myself breaks.

My body’s falling apart tbh. almost 2 weeks ago my knees started giving me issues. and i just laid in bed. worn out. and isaac told me i needed to like make this doctors appointment (which is in 12 hours) to see what i need to do to get healthier. (he isn’t the only one concerned but he’s definitely the one pushing me.) i dunno if anyone’s long time followed me but 2 years ago i was diagnosed pre-diabetic, weighed 196 pounds. went off my medicine in a dangerous fashion and dropped nearly 30 pounds. dunno my status though. never checked up on that. that’ll be today’s event. if not the next appointment. new patient shit y’know. being that low-key suicidal type of person i just didn’t care about myself and i’m really paying for it now by giving myself anxiety issues out the daily. wonderful. good job me. like. for one my teeth have been fucked since childhood. so that’s an expense on its own. but high blood pressure and i almost thought i was having a heart attack (got laughed at) and just figured it was panic/anxiety attack so whatever. i’m not doing so hot. that’s apparent. ah well. making the steps.

again i’m so grateful for this boy and there’s no way for me to truly express that enough. i’ll take the fucking bullet for him. he’s my ride or die.

often worry about being a cling on. i like the attention of one person at a time. i attach so hard to people and i’m paranoid i’m gonna push them away cause being clingy is “toxic”.

i dunno my preference isn’t to isolate myself. i like being a loner but i like being a one on one person. i like being alone but i dont like being lonely.

a workaholic with a liking of like 5 people max really.

and i’ve tried doing this reassurance thing where if i’m feeling like garbage for just existing my mind says “youre human, you’re kind, you dont deserve this shit you deserve respect you deserve love”

but i got so fucking annoyed with myself that i just stopped doing it. it’s ANNOYING AS FUCK. I HATE IT. I hate myself. but i’m all i got. i’m entertaining and loving as all hell. til i depersonalize which happens often enough to stress me out even more. oh well. this is my life. i gotta do better..

sigh.

tired.

still alive.

[biitterscotch]

frozen fading

14th september 2022

3 days ago i sprained my ankle at the trampoline park my friend works at. was a fun day but not fun having to walk and take the train home. my ankle was super swollen into the next day, but fortunately after about 48 hours it started to go down. it is still a bit swollen but not nearly as much, and it doesn’t really hurt to put pressure on it. i probably should've called the doctor but honestly i’m too nervous. i dont even know how i’d go in to see them anyways. im just praying some longterm damage that requires surgery doesnt come out of this. anyways, i’ve spent the past few days at home, sitting about, letting my ankle heal. what could i do on crutches? i could go for a walk, go to the store and get that hair product i’ve been wanting, i could go to the red cross store. i havent been doing much of the things i like: drawing, guitar, writing, researching. nor have i been doing much of what i should, like planning for college, though that has been a challenge. it’s looking like i will have to wait till the spring semester to take my classes. kind of stressful but also some relief as i have more time to contact the NOVA people and figure out my situation. though i am a procrastinator so its probably super great. To my reader noah whom i owe a writing prompt for collaboration: sorry, i’ll try to get on that. I feel like a blank page. i am forgetting who i am. it is scary. i feel i am losing my childhood. which in a way i am. though i am still clinging i guess. i realize i am like a child in my interests and comforts. i don’t explore extremes much. i try to go with the flow but im probably forgetting all the times i struck down a memorable experience out of nerves. i dont think i really have any other friends in this situation of living independently at age 18. i cook for myself and my brother. plan meals, buy groceries. clean the house (haven’t been doing such a great job because of my ankle, though i think i could try harder). people here seem so mature, but there’s moments of naivete i catch glimpses of. sometimes i feel like a pixar/disney millenial. i love animated movies. they are the genre that most often makes me laugh/cry. i think it’s okay to embrace childishness. some glimmer. i imagine a serene life is nice. though i also get anxiety. actually i just get anxiety with anything. in the old days i would be a laborer, constantly moving my body. maybe its from being raised in my family where everyone is always productive. everything is so new. ive been trying to process things for months. i was going to write about processing things up till 1st august but i’ve forgotten the feeling. moving forward. trudging forward? that’s what it feels like. days are blurring together. im good at sitting still but i guess that’s when there’s a projected end.

[artcanary]

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential��, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Wow you art has improved so much! Aaaa ive been watching you for i think over a year noe and just wowie.. Any tips for drawing muscles/toned people? Or boys in generL? Have a lovely day!!!

thank you!!! yeah from having watched myself this whole time, my drawing does tend to get a lot better year-to-year. but luckily(?) for followers who havent been around since forever, i've been able to draw a lot more in the past couple of years than i did before that, so the difference is more dramatic to look at. nowadays i can see changes a couple months apart, but thats probably a lot more obvious to me since im the one drawing the stuff.i'm definitely not like, any amazing source for artistic advice...my process is a mess & since im not really a Serious Artist there's a lot of repetitive practicing stuff they might make you do in art school but i'd never bother to make myself do otherwise. i mean, "draw from life" and "just draw a lot" is stuff you always hear, coz i mean its true and all. i ought to reference pix more often to draw figures but i dont, but you should. it just makes things easier on yourself and you dont have to try carrying around a 3d model of the human skeleton in your head. just try to look up a picture if you dont know how to draw a figure, it's the opposite of cheatinganyways thats also vague advice. one tip i have for drawing figures? is that learning how to draw [insert any type of build] is really just about learning how to draw any and all types of builds. like, to learn how to draw a muscular body, youre really just asking yourself to understand how to draw any kind of body. the interior structure of all bodies is very very similar! bones and muscle placement alike. to get different "types," you pretty much take that Default Figure and maybe modify a few different proportions of the skeleton (wider shoulders, how taller people mostly gain the length in the legs, depth of the rib cage, sheer size/scale of the whole figure, etc) and then stuff such as the mass of muscle/fat are more of a detail. the building blocks of any figure are really gonna be the same no matter whatjust like drawing body types, drawing any gender's body type is also really really similar actually. a lot of like, "beginners drawing guide," especially when it comes to art thats about any kind of style over straightforward photorealism, way too often has some weak section about the difference between drawing men and women. its really annoying and tells you helpful stuff like, drawing women = really angular transition between a narrow waist to the hips, draw them contrapposto like an off-balance S, sexy poses, and then give some inaccurate guidelines for how to draw breasts. and then to draw men its about giving them the shape of a yield road sign, action poses with limbs apart, less curvy more angular although that doesn't mean anything, really wide chest and shoulders and narrow waist, etc. not only is that Cis Hell but its basically just caricatures, peoples bodies dont look like that and thats just telling you to copy a certain kind of stylistic shortcut. which you can do, but its not really actually anatomy. and the thing is that like, even if you stylize your drawings, you only Get Good from knowing the reasoning and rules behind any shortcuts. to simplify drawings well actually takes a lot of artistic skill. so basically, drawing boys doesnt really have any specific set of rules that dont apply to drawing girls or anyone else. even if you're talking about cis boys and cis girls, bodies are much much more similar than they are different and signal gender much less than you might think—clothes are really what people look at, and how flat-chested someone is, vs any fundamental difference in the shape or silhouette of a body. even if someone's like "oh, well, if someone has a snatch then the bones of their hips/legs are set further apart" like uhhh thats not an actually noticeable difference in reality. the width of everyones hips varies, and thigh gaps are not much of a real thing. even rules like how fat distribution varies between men and women, like that men's weight gain goes mainly to the stomach, women's goes first to the hips, is not a real hardset law of nature. thats how you get people out there drawing fat girls as just having slightly thicker bodies with wider hips and larger thighs/butts/breasts and keeping a relatively small waist. sure, some people have that body type. but once people get into the pattern of thinking that stuff like that is accurate because weight gain to the stomach only applies to men, they suck. what i'd say about thinking about learning how to draw any kind of variation of body type is: learn how to draw any variations of body types!!! everyones body has a slightly different structure, and if you're fine with simplifying bodies, simplify all bodies, and if you want to draw really varied figures, think about how the bodies of all figures you draw vary.anyways, finally, about being Muscular though!! again, the way muscles look on anybody will vary, especially in terms of What Kind of muscular they are. like, being sort of overall Built looks vastly different from like, wwe muscular, or bodybuilding muscular. lets not even talk about that last one. but even if someone has muscles built up through like, athletic reasons, different sports and stuff have different workouts and will build muscles in different areas. to get to some specific tips: one way to suggest someone is muscular is to simply broaden the limbs!! muscles in the back and stomach really don't grow outward nearly as much as say, leg and arm muscles. gonna look a little wider even when resting, because the mass of the muscles themselves have increased. thats not to say that in a neutral position you can, for example, see someone's sick biceps, because when the arm is resting at the sides, the bicep is mostly facing forwards. arm muscles are wild.another thing to draw defined muscles is to recognize that muscles make people curvier. it is funny that crap guides might try to tell you that cis women are the curvy and angular ones, because that would really apply much more to a muscular cis man. most growing muscles are going to show up in the surface of the body. but the muscles still diminish at their "roots"—think how arm muscles will swell out, but come back in to attach at the elbows, shoulders, and wrist. they make the curvature of the body more dramatic. this can show up in the silhouette, but another way to make a figure you're drawing seem more obviously muscular is to put in details that "outline" the muscles all over the surface of the body, not just the outermost muscles that affect the body's silhouette. don't forget sweet butt muscles. largest muscles of all. i'm gonna try to attach some hopefully useful images to help illustrate some of these points, i'll see if i can do that by reblogging this. if not i'll just make a new post in a minute here

[dadmilkman]

i never really post on here personally because i migrated to twitter a few years ago and the appeal of tumblr left me shortly after but ive talked about this topic ive had on my mind on twitter a lot already and ive bugged my friends in their dm’s too much but i still need to get it off my chest so im gonna talk about it some more anyway

in november this past year i messaged an artist hosting a secret santa event pledging to participate, and the next day they sent me back saying, no, i cant participate, because my art looks “too traced”

i dont post my art on this blog much anymore since i started posting it on my sideblog but i do draw fairly often and for years, for YEARS, one of the things that has contributed to my horrible, horrible depression (besides like, everything else) is my very bad habit of comparing myself to literally everyone and everything else. its taken me a long time to start trying to break this habit and not feel bad about my own abilities or skills in comparison to other people, and to this day im still struggling with it. art has been a personal battle for me, as it is for anyone who creates things regardless of what it is, and ive given up, sometimes for months or years at a time, only to eventually come back and start drawing again and then hate how far behind i felt because of all the time i spent not improving any at all.

so fast forward from 2012 where i “seriously’ start drawing to the start of last year, after going through maybe 3 hiatuses where i didnt draw for over 6 months, to where i finally bought my own tablet (after borrowing off my girlfriend or just drawing with pencil) in april and started actually seriously drawing again, all summer and during school even i was just drawing out the ass, all the time, i was putting more shit down than i had for a long long time and it was bad but i was real proud of it because i was creating things! and thats what ive always wanted to do, is just put stuff out in the world. to make things with any sort of permanence. so all last year i was really pleased with my progress and i was even getting better at drawing faces and coloring so i was real pleased.

so i get into a few new hobbies during the year and start following a bunch of artists on tumblr, or blogs that promote other artists, because id gotten to enough of a point where seeing other people accomplished at art didnt make me feel quite so bad about myself as it used to - i was able to look at other peoples success with pride on their behalf and not anger or jealousy. and at this point id start liking a little bit of my own attention, so i make a separate art blog dedicated to my art and my characters. and theres this one artist i really admired. they draw nothing but their oc’s, which is also nothing but what i draw too, and they were popular and everyone liked their characters and they had lots of artists friends they could talk with and do trades with and it was and is everything i wanted to be. i wanted to be that sociable and liked and known, even if it was just among a small group of friends in a small part of a niche interest, i wanted to participate in something.

so i see this secret santa i really want to join, hosted by none other than this artist i look up to, quite a lot. id sent them a few anons before with various questions on things and felt comfortable enough to message them and ask about joining the secret santa. i was finally comfortable enough in my artistic abilities to want to join, too, which was huge for me. so i message them, and wait for them to message me back.

and they do , the next day, and its to immediately tell me that my art looks too traced and that i should “stay away” from their art trade. as any aspiring artist will tell you, tracing photos is good. it helps you get muscle memory and learn perspective, anatomy, blah blah. as long as you dont do anything with it or pass it off as your own.

but tracing photos or god forbid other  peoples art and then posting it online and saying “look at this thing i drew all by myself arent you proud!?” is entirely different, and obviously isnt something ive ever fucking done, but its what they wanted to accuse me of, saying i was being deceitful and that other people in the trade would be mad if they knew. so, no, ive never done that. i never said ive never traced photographs before, i do it all the time to practice poses and anatomy and then i send them to my friend and say “ha i drew my characters doing this thing” and like, thats the only light of day it sees.

but apparently this artist was and still is under the impression that everything ive ever drawn was traced, as if i never put any work into anything. i do. i dont even know how to express that statement enough. i do . i do put hard work into the stuff i make. i practice and i draw and i sketch and no, im not fucking great at art, but it makes me happy and i can draw my ocs and thats really all i want to be able to do, so when someone comes to me , someone i looked up to and admired , and accuses me of being a liar and a fake, it hurt.

and of course i tried to explain i dont trace my art? i used photo references, a lot. sometimes ill take a photograph of myself to use as a reference too. i have a bunch of pvc pipes in my room i use when i need a ref of someone holding a staff or sword so i can make the angles better. i have a reference blog i use heavily and most of the time the outfits i draw are from stuff i see models wearing and want to put my ocs in. but i dont trace it, and that accusation hurt. the only thing i ever “trace” when i draw figures is a stick figure on a pose, IF im having trouble, like this 

and then the rest of the drawing, the lines, the hair the clothes the face, whatever, i draw that free hand, its not like i sit there and trace a whole photo or drawing? and if i did im not gonna...post it online and pretend i did all this hard work? and this is all the same thing i said to this person, i admitted to doing this stick figure technique, and that i sometimes trace photographs but i use it as a mechanic to help me improve anatomy accuracy and not as a cop-out for doing my own work and ive never passed off someone else’s skills as my own like they were insinuating. i mean, is this tracing? ive seen self taught and professional artists (and artists/photographers like senshistock, where i get a lot of refs) use this or a similar stick man figure approach when trying to draw people. i never thought i was doing something deceitful , and not to mention i dont even do this with every thing i ever draw. just stuff with weird angles or if theres a specific pose i want to capture correctly. i cant tell if this criticism reminds me too much of the argument circa a few years ago that using references or photos of any sort at all was cheating, or if this is genuine criticism and its a practice i shouldnt use anymore. which i havent been doing anymore anyway.

it was so infuriating to be confronted with this and have the whole argument portrayed like i was a sham and i was duping people on purpose. “stay away from the art trade” was their exact words. it hurt a lot and it still does, and its still killing my confidence every day. ive been trying to move on from the whole thing but when someone you admire shoots you down like that, i just dont know how to keep going knowing them and other people they apparently talked to about this are looking at my work thinking im a cheat. this has been on my mind nearly every day for 3 months and its killing me.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

(This was started in response to your sweet pic of guy and Pickman kissing and not the other thing you drew with the death and the romantic killing. Though if you don’t mind I like using events that you draw as “cannon” to fanfic. I hope you like it, do what you want with it. If you don’t mind I’ll finish the ending and send that to you as well?)

im going to cut this so its not too long but aaaaaaa!! id love to read more, if thats something you want to do, and i dont mind that you base off the story of some of my art (but lmao i hope it wouldnt end in the same way as the death and romantic killing one, i dont think my little gay heart could take it). but i love what youre writing my friend ;w;

Pickman drops off the map. Soul isn’t concerned. More to the point he has too much else to worry about one overly artistic raider killer. He categorizes all the other things he has to worry about as he stares up through the holes in the starlight cinema’s ceiling. Prestion’s itching to retake the castle but Soul is having a hard time giving the order, “pulling the trigger.” This is the big test. He’s been rebuilding Preston’s militia on auto pilot since he put Soul in charge of the damn thing. Flying by the seat of his pants. If he messes this one up the minutemen are done, for good this time. Even if they both survive he doubts Preston will stick around after Soul sends the guys last hope in humanity crashing and burning into the ground.

Soul rolls over. There’s plenty of room. He spreads out like a starfish but that feels too exposed so he curls into a tiny ball on the edge of the mattress. He thinks of his wife and he thinks of his son and he thinks about his dead world. Somewhere in that mess, the thinking becomes dreaming, and he wakes up feeling more scrambled than when he lay down.

  Soul ties back his growing mane into a rat-nest ponytail and packs for a trip. The destination is rattling around in the back of his head but he doesn’t care to look for it.

  Pack over shoulder he decides to check on the new addition. The water filter in the center of the shanty town rumbles healthy under his hand. He pats one of her pipes thankful for small favors, a pack full of clean water. The residents of Starlight holler farewells and he raises a hand as he sets off the road.

  The Commonwealth roads seem subdued. Everything is fuzzy around the edges. He finds himself standing in front of a red door and stares at it for a second, a memory gnawing at the corner of his awareness. He drags it back and examines it. A few hours ago, five ferals on the way, all but the last one killed before they woke up. The last one takes a bullet through the leg as it darts forward.Then another one between the eyes as it lays on the ground. The weather is threatening rain. His head tilts up at the dirty sky.

“Truce for today?”

  The commonwealth doesn’t respond.

  Now he’s here. Soul starts back to himself and wipes away the streams of water running down his face. He pushes open the door and goes inside just to get out of the rain.

  The house is cleaner than his last visit. The gallery itself still sets his gut in knots. Soul walks through it quickly, only glancing at the new additions. There are new additions, surprise and relief catch in his throat and produce something between a grunt and a cough. He assumed- but he was wrong.

  The blood stains still coat the floor but it’s no worse than any raider hideout. Soul sits down in a cleanish chair and props up his aching feet on a table. Resting the pistol on his abdomen as he leans back.

  Introspection was never his strong suit. Asking why he was here would just mix him up more, he was here. Now what.

He pulled a Snack Cake out of his pack and ate one. He was sitting in Pickman’s house with his feet up on the table getting this powdery stuff all over the place. The rapper crinkled as he stuffed it back in the bag.

A note. He could leave a note in the safe. Soul tucked the gun away and left his pack at the table. Pickman had to have paper and pens around here somewhere. He pushed open a closet door to find it empty, then a bedroom door. The press of cold mettle on his throat and the slam of his body against the hallway wall, their faces are very close. Soul notice’s Pickman’s lips are cracked and bleeding. They stand against the wall for a moment before the grin plastered on pickman’s  face falls and he dropped the blade.

“Soul.” He bends to pick up the knife. “You didn’t knock.”

“Hi Pickm- Richard, how- um, how’s it going?”

“I nearly slit your neck. Do you have doors in Sanctuary?”

  Soul considers his old home, blasted open as the pressure wave hit “Not anymore.” He chuckles. “I still should have knocked though, sorry about that. I honestly figured you were dead.” 

That takes Pickman back. Soul gets a chance to look him over as he steps back and turns 180 to stare back into his bedroom. “Yes, I understand how you would reach that conclusion.” He doesn’t look good. His hair is messy and he is wearing the same suit with only one shoe. The room beyond is dark, boarded up windows and a single mattress.

“I have been out of sorts lately. Nothing to do with you so you shouldn’t concern yourself. I’ll contact you in a few days.” He turns and makes a dismissive shooing motion with one hand. The hand with the knife in it. Soul thinks it might be a more threatening gesture than Pickman intended, but then everything the man does is threatening.

  The pack is still sitting beside the table. Soul walks past Richard and begins pulling things out. Carefully packed as it is, the cans aren’t hard to find. He pulls out two and pops them open.

“Drink?”

“No, thank you.” Pickman waves him off.

“You’re dehydrated. Headache so bad you can’t see straight right? How long since you drank something?”

Pickman’s ears move back, it’s the only sign on his face that he’s gritting his teeth.

“I think you might be misinterpreting the situation Killer. I am not your friend or your lover and I do not need you here to pity me.” The last sentence punctuated by the knife’s violent entrance into the tablewood.

“I need you’re help.” Soul responded sloshing the can. “Some tactical advice for the minutemen.”

Pickman drops down in the chair opposite Soul’s, side and takes the proffered can of water. It vanished in a moment and Soul replaced it. He opened a package of deviled eggs and set them on the table between them, popping one in his mouth and sitting down himself watching Pickman sip at the purified water.

  “Presumably you didn’t come for advice from a dead man.”

You look like a dead man walking Soul wanted to reply. He recognised the far away look Pickman had in his eyes. He saw it in the mirror often enough.

Instead he just opened his own water can and downed half. He had to be more careful about getting lost from himself for such a long time.

“I suppose I should be thankful you found your way here again. I don’t know how long- how long has it been since we fixed the library’s Mutant problem.”

“About two weeks.”

Pickman shakes his head. “I thought I could break the rules and look where it got me. Thank you for the water but you really should leave now.”

“Not happening.”

“Why?”

“I need some tactical advice and I won’t trust it till your at 100%”

Pickman smiles, it has less poison in it than before, he rubs his eyes. “If you are intent to stay then stay.” He roots around under the table and finds his other shoe. Unlacing and putting it on as he talks. “I have no intention of letting you distract me till my painting is finished.”

Soul spends a moment cataloging rations and water supply for two people in his pack. About three days if he stretches it. GoodNeighbors close enough for a day trip. He nods. “I’ll wait.”

  That’s what he does. Pickman moves about the house like a ghost at all hours. The rain lets up but never stops. They talk sometimes but mostly Soul tries to keep out of his way when he’s glassy eyed and leaves open food containers out on the table. He finds them empty. It doesn’t take three days but they are low on everything, Soul is sitting on the front step considering wading through the calf-deep river the streets have become.

  He hears pounding. Inside Pickman has a nail between his teeth and he’s hammering another one into the Gallery wall. The framed painting leaning against his leg depicts a building on fire the flames turning in to faces as they climb towards the sky.

Soul feels his skin crawl. It’s the front of the Boston library Pickman has drawn and one of the faces is unmistakably Soul’s own.

  Pickman hangs the painting up on it’s wire and adjusts it to sit square with the others. He turns to Soul still standing in the doorway and pulls a hand down his face.

“I would like some of that water now. If you don’t mind.”

  They sit down in the kitchen again and soul cracks open the last of the water. They drink in silence before Pickman sighs and speaks not looking up from the gash in the table.

“I apologize for my ill manners earlier Soul. Your opinion on that nickname during our last outing was quite forceful, I assumed using it would drive you away.”

  “I’ve been called worse things. That was days ago anyway, I honestly forgot about it.”

“Days?” His eyes widen it’s the most expressive the man’s seemed since he got here. “They’re getting longer.” Pickman grumbles.

  “Mine too if it makes you feel any better.” Soul says tipping up the last of the water can. “I walked all the way here like a robot, shot some Ghouls without even thinking about it.”

Pickman blinks. “Ferals, one would hope?”

“Oh, oh ya. No I wouldn’t- I hope it would never.” Soul chokes on the liquid swallows and tries again. “I’ve never killed a person like that. Well- one but he didn’t make it easy.”

  He thinks back to MacCready pulling the gun out of his hand as it clicked over empty, again and again. “He didn’t make it easy but he had it coming.”

A well timed roll of thunder and the clattering of the windows increases as the storm piles on. They might be stuck here for a while if this didn’t let up.

“Was he your first?” Pickman asks The flashes of lightning illuminating everything in small doses.

“What? We didn’t- I had a wife. And before that even-”  

“Your first kill.” Pickman says nearly laughing.

Soul shakes his head scratching at his crusty jacket. “No, I was in the army before. I remember killing people but not who was first.“ Was that a common discussion point now a days? He remembers MacCready asking the same thing. "Do you?”

Pickman has his hands under his chin leaning forward like he’s listening to an interesting drinking story. “Oh yes.”

…..

(I’m having some trouble figuring out what’s next. I’m thinking a flood? Pickman and Soul try to save some of the artwork but Soul REALLY DOSN’T WANT TO TOUCH IT? Your input would be valued. I am trying to get close to Guy but its difficult with so little to go off of so I feel strange using his name. Anyway thanks for the goldmine of artwork!)

a flood sounds exciting! youve already set up all the water and rain and omg i love the idea of trying to save his art;;; and dont feel bad about not adhering exactly to guy, hes pretty unpredictable, even to me, haha. i let him do whatever he wants, he never tells me anything about himself XD so i dont mind at all that soul isnt guy, hes tricky and a bit convoluted. but im glad i can provide art that you can enjoy and honored that youd write a story for me! :D i love reading your writing;;; i love how you have the characters interacting and the little exchange at the end here made me giggle out loud :D

[traumabrained]

GOD FUCK i went through your blog and with you saying that sexual behavior at a young age is a red flag and all i just.. it's probably nothing i just gotta get it out of my mind now that im actually thinking about it?? from like... age seven?? i used to draw explicit stuff like blood and sexual situations (albeit never consensual ones) ?? and i started masturbating pretty early too, around that age as well i guess.. my grandparents whom i live with were and still are emotionally abusive but 1/2

2/2 they would never.. as for my birth parents my biological father was a drug dealer and in general a pretty shady guy and my mother a druggie idk i dont have memories of them since they left when i was about 2 so its normal not to recall anything that happened. im INCREDIBLY SURE ive developed npd as a result of the emotional abuse if that holds any importance whatsoever but i.. dont know? ive never had rape nightmares or flashbacks or anything so it's probably nothing sorry for rambling

to preface, i’ve just answered an ask talking about how hypersexuality in minors is not necessarily linked to csa/cocsa--i know i’ve said otherwise in the past, and i apologize for that. i was lacking some information in that area. so you might want to go down one post and read that first.

that being said. the sources that i used earlier? are still legitimate sources--it’s only that there are other causes, though they aren’t talked about nearly as often. 

however, drawing nonconsensual sexual things at a young age? looks a lot more like csa, than it does any other mental illness. 

a lack of rape nightmares is not a sure sign that you haven’t suffered csa--dreams and nightmares are pretty tricky things, so not having the expected type of dream doesn’t mean much (the reason it’s always mentioned is because having them is pretty indicative. but a lack of them doesn’t mean nearly as much).

the same with flashbacks--not everyone with ptsd gets flashbacks (i’m not saying you have ptsd, this is just an example), especially the “visually transported back to the trauma” kind--those are actually pretty rare. there are  different kinds of flashbacks, such as emotional flashbacks.

an example of an emotional flashback would be: seeing/experiencing a trigger, then feeling dirty/afraid/shameful/etc., for no obvious reason. and of course, you might not know that there’s a trigger, so it might seem as though all of a sudden you feel really specifically bad and you can’t figure out why.

i can’t tell you if you’ve been through csa or cocsa, since 1) i lack the necessary information and 2) i’m not a professional in any way. but it’s not something you should rule out, i guess.

i’m sorry--i know this probably wasn’t very helpful, and also that it’s taken a long time for a response.

[sadrien]

Ok so YES I love the long distance internet friends au but consider! Long distance wrong number au

honestly anon, thank you so much for this tonight. 

i took long distance and made it loooooong distance to the point where it probably doesn’t make sense, but ~~suspension of disbelief~~

texts between adrien and the mystery person (wow i wonder who) are in italics because theyre in french. also i didnt want to bother anyone so ‘numéro inconnu’ is from google translate so im sorry for….that

finally i tried to streamline how i do texts for this just because the way i do texts is usually a lot clunkier? so it looks more like wanna chat but isnt in like….the contact names are still what the other person would see? like when it says pretty boy thats ninos contact name for adrien and—

frick just tell me if its too confusing and tell me how to fix it im really tired

[on ao3 in case the read more is a butt and wont open]

2:51 PM unknown number: Did this work????? unknown number: a;slkdfjadj its me btw unknown number: I mean duh its me who else would it be unknown number: If you screenshot this conversation al I swear to go d Ill kill you

Adrien squints at his phone. Not only does he not know this number, but the text are in French. That’s…unusual. He thinks that it’s a lucky coincidence that his father is from France and insisted he learned the language before replying.

2:52 PM numéro inconnu: I think you might have the wrong number. numéro inconnu: Sorry if my French is bad I don’t speak it often and I write it even less

unknown number: Ohmogd unknown number: IM SOSO RRY  IDNT MEAN OT unknown number: AHHHHH I MUSTCE TYPED IT IN WRONG???????? unknown number: Im sorry IM osrry Im sorry Im s orry Im sorry!!!!!!!!!! ; ^ ;

It takes Adrien a minute to translate the texts with the typos. He’s not nearly as fluent as he thought he was. His dad will be thrilled about that. Maybe he needs to mention to Nathalie that starting Chinese has left him a little rusty with his French…

Not that this is going to be a thing. Because it’s not. He’s not going to keep texting some random stranger from— Wait a minute.

2:54 PM numéro inconnu: On the off chance of sounding really stalkery numéro inconnu: (I’m not sure if that’s the right word, I had to use Google Translate) numéro inconnu: Do you live in France?

Yup. That question is just as creepy as it sounded in his head. Adrien spins slowly in his chair as he waits for a response, completely disregarding the homework he needs to have done before he leaves for fencing.

2:57 PM unknown number: Ummm unknown number: I dont know if i should be telling you this random stranger I texted by accident unknown number: But seeing that its a big country unknown number: ANd idk how youd find me to like murder me or something unknown number: Yes. Im from France unknown number: Why??

3:01 PM numéro inconnu: It’s just that numéro inconnu: I live in the United States so… numéro inconnu: I’m trying to figure out how you got a wrong number that…wrong numéro inconnu: That sounded mean I’m sorry!!!!!!!

Adrien puts down his phone and groans. Scaring people off from literally an ocean away. He’s always known he’s not the greatest at socializing but this is some next level shit. He stares at his darkened phone screen for a minute before deciding that whoever he’s been texting is probably extremely weirded out and won’t be replying.

He’s strangely disappointed by that.

And while he could go back to doing physics work, he’s not going to. Because now he’s distracted and he doesn’t really want to be thinking about sound waves right now. Maybe in like fifteen minute, because sound waves are cool and add a whole new layer to music that he kind of loves, but not right this second.

The next time his chair spins past the desk, he grabs his phone and pulls up his conversation with Nino.

3:09 PM pretty boy: Have you ever been texted by someone who has the wrong number before?

duuuude: yup duuuude: it was weird af duuuude: didnt turn into a full convo cause they never responded

pretty boy: What did they send?

duuuude: a rad horse painting and the message ‘jen painted another horse’

pretty boy: Ok wow yeah that is kind of weird

duuuude: yeah i didnt respond duuuude: but then the next day they asked about florida?? and flooding??? and were like yo have you seen or called anyone and i was like oh shit i should probably respond because this seems important incase theyre looking for someone

pretty boy: Yeah that sounds like a smart move pretty boy: Did you ever hear back from them

duuuude: nah duuuude: unfortunate too i wouldve loved to see more horse drawings duuuude: anyway that was kinda a random question any reason why you ask?

pretty boy: I got a text from a wrong number pretty boy: From France

duuuude: what the fuck duuuude: bruh international texting fees duuuude: good thing youre rich my dude

pretty boy: Nah it’s ok it was all iMessage

duuuude: bless duuuude: so was it like duuuude: in french

pretty boy: Yup

duuuude: aw man you lucked out duuuude: is it like a full conversaiton??

pretty boy: Idk they haven’t responded in like 15 minutes pretty boy: It was nice while it lasted

duuuude: :/ rip

Adrien blinks in surprise when a notification from the unknown number pops up at the top of the screen. He clicks it immediately, not even reading any of the text before he does.

3:27 PM unknown number: I dont?????? KNow???????????? unknown number: My friend got a new phone and wrote her number on my arm but her writing is always kinda a mess and also I smudged the numbers because IM a mess and I unknown number: Somehow???? unknown number: PLUS I managed to add the us country code????

numéro inconnu: Well I’m pretty sure that’s just a 1 so that’s understandable

unknown number: And any other numbers I needed??? Hwo did I?? unknown number: I don t know how I did it D: unknown number: Ohmy god and I just realized you probably dont want a million texts from a total stranger in a language you barely speak?? unknown number: IM SO SORRY ILL STOP NOW unknown number: YOU SEEM REALLY NICE SORRY FOR WASTING YORU TIME unknown number: OK BYE

3:36 PM numéro inconnu: It’s fine! numéro inconnu: My dad is actually from Paris so I do know French numéro inconnu: I can’t really say I’m totally fluent in it but I spoke it a lot when I was little numéro inconnu: This is good practice! numéro inconnu: And you’re weren’t wasting my time at all, I promise

Good going, Agreste, he thinks to himself. Over enthusiastic and weird. He tries not to think about it too much and goes back to physics. Physics with its constant equations and complex numbers and waves and waves and waves and waves. It gets a little easier when he’s able to connect it to something he knows. He can hear frequency in his music and beats when he tries to tune instruments. He finds his fingers itching to spread across the black and white piano keys and lose themselves in the music.

By the time Nathalie is calling him for fencing, he’s mostly forgotten about the conversation he had with the stranger across the sea. Not entirely, it’s still in the back of his mind, but he’s moved past the disappointment of likely never speaking to them again. While he’s fencing, his mind has no room for those thoughts and he throws them away. He won’t be needing them again.

When Adrien checks his phone after practice for schedule updates from Nathalie or texts about the weekend from Nino, he finds a single text in French at the bottom of his pile of notifications.

He can’t stop himself from smiling as he opens it. He’s not exactly sure what time it is in France right now, he assumes it’s fairly late and doesn’t expect a response anytime soon, but he replies quickly anyway. His reply is short and simple, but he doesn’t know what else to say, so it’ll have to be enough for now.

Maybe this is a one time thing. Maybe it isn’t. He’d like it to be the latter, but right now, he’s just winging it.

4:02 PM unknown number: Well if youre really really sure… I mean I wouldnt be talking to you often obviously!!! But it might be cool to know more about America? Ive always wanted to visit and wow this probably is super weird and Im so sorry for that like this conversation hasnt been weird enough already ahahahhhhhhhhh but um. I just mean to say that if you wanted to maybe keep talking I wouldnt mind?

5:19 PM numéro inconnu: I’d love to keep talking if you want to! :)