#i dont expect people to acknowledge this thing
Text
i "hate" ocean stuff!
some angst, some fluff
wendigoon/reader - BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ENOUGH ANYWHERE-
MAIN MASTERLIST | OTHERS MASTERLIST
.
Summary: he hates the ocean, but.. what happens if he meets you? who.. is a resident of the ocean? (Why I thought of this is beyond me)
Warnings? DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A FEAR OF THE OCEAN‼️ SORRY IF I RAMBLE, IM TRYING TO MAKE MY WORKS LONGER!
"you're a questionable swimmer..."
"...oh no"
this is has inspiration taken from a fan art.
this shit is amazing- DO YOU SEE IT? ahem anyway-
DON’T READ IF YOU HAVE A FEAR OF THE OCEAN!!!!
can't stress that enough, i will not be held responsible for your potential triggers!
THIS THING DISAPPEARED FROM MY DRAFTS FOR A WHILE IT SCARED ME I THOUGHT I DELETED IT OR I POSTED IT ON ACCIDENT WHEN IT WASN’T FINISHED-!
1.5k words-
He has said over and over again in his videos that he absolutely hates the ocean. His hatred was an understatement, if you ever asked him what one of his number one fears was. If that makes sense at all. He has made it very known to his audience about his fear, and they support him for it.
He knows not to push himself.
In his video where he transitioned to him at the ocean, you could actively see the existential dread and uncertainty in his eyes, the look that he does not want to be there. Every little sudden unfamiliar movement nearby or further away, he's skittish. He jumps easily.
He knows not to push himself.
Unlike now.
He found himself at the oceans edge, he wanted to somehow conquer his fear. But it was too much. It overwhelmed him. It restricted him. Made his palms sweaty. His breath laboured. Thinking about what is in the massive body of water and how deep and unknown it is, it unsteadied him. Even the thought of that something could be nearby him. Watching his every move.
The sudden feeling of the cold water hitting his feet scared him. It was unnerving. He was unnerved. The wind blew the cold breeze into his face, it made him shiver. Even if he did have more than one layer on. His fear made him shake. Cold and fear was not a good mix at all.
He decided to take a walk, with a light, of course, to calm himself down as well as warm himself up. He sighed just before he heard something in the water. He aimed his light in the direction he heard it, yet he walked back up the sand to keep away as if something was coming for him. He heard the water lapping again, this scared him more, he moved back so sudden he fell back, gasping for breath as his fall took the air out of his lungs, he kicked his feet to move himself back.
He had enough. He got up and quickly dusted himself off as he walked back up to the top of the beach. He could not handle the cold and fear any longer. He wanted to go home. Away.
He sat in the car with the heating on. His hands in front of the air vent which was warming up. He took some shaky deep breaths, eventually becoming more steady and collected. He was sort of curious to know what made him scared. But also did not want to know, because it could be a shark, or worse, whatever that 'worse' thing could be. He looked out the window, back at the ocean. Only to see nothing but darkness, hearing the waves crashing in the background. Shuddering at the thought, he shook his head and started to make his way back to where he was staying for a while. Away from the water. Away from the fear.
He would not go back to that place. Especially that area. It left him wondering. He wondered what it was. He had to distract himself, think about something else.
So what is better than thinking about your greatest fears?
Researching them! Because that's what he did. He researched what it could have been, even if it kept coming back as reasonable answers, like normal sea life. He kept thinking out the box. If it was anything mythical he's researched in the past, it's very unlikely it's true. Because mythical creatures don't exist, right?
Right?
Well we don't know. The ocean has barely been explored.
That is what he kept thinking of. It made his mind wander.
He eventually fell asleep on his phone while looking at research. Lets just say that he's getting the very much needed rest from today.
A few days later, one morning, he felt... relaxed yet... decent or Okay. As if what happened a few days ago was some sort of a dream. But he didn't dream it. It felt like a thing of the past for him. Except that he had no energy to even get out of bed this morning, he looked for his phone. He fell asleep with it again. It was on the floor. He tried to turn it on. Dead battery. Sighing he sat up and put it on charge.
That day he decided that he would continue with working on his fear. But in the daytime where he could actually see clearly what was around him.
And boy would today be a day he would remember.
Because it was odd that when he got to the ocean-side, barely anyone was there. He sat on some rocks by the water watching the distant sea. The tide was out so that it didn't work him up. Good.
Everything was Okay in his mind. Then the water started to lap again. He gulped. Then came some noises. His nerves came back.
Then he saw something break the waters surface. Scales. They were shiny.
Pretty.
Then he saw the end.. of a tail? Shaking his head, he tried to think of a rational explanation. 'A fish? Stuck in shallow waters? Can't be' he thought to himself. He tried to convince himself that was the case before- 'hair??' He wasn't even in the sea himself and he felt like he was drowning.
Never mind himself for the moment, he was convinced someone was drowning besides himself. And his instincts was to jump in and help. Despite his fear, a human life was more important. Especially if said life is in danger.
Fear aside, he summoned all his bravery and courage to actually try and help this supposed person. Yet his vision was obscured by bubbles and all of that. The shimmer of the light reflected on the scales of whatever dashed by him. Whatever it was, it was not comfortable with him nearby. And much to his surprise, he went deeper than he ever thought.
To the point that he had to try and keep himself by the surface.
Then he saw the thing that spooked him for days, but yet caught his eye.
You.
He was baffled,.. yet intrigued. Like it happened all in slow motion.
You looked gentle with the eye contact you two briefly held, but he knew how unpredictable the ocean is he doesn't know your real strength and what you could potentially do to him.
But the peace and tranquility of this moment was soon shattered by the fact that he remembered that he wasn't like you, you could breath underwater, he couldn't. And once that reality soon set in, he panicked while trying to get back to the surface. And one of the rules about being underwater, especially in the ocean, is to not panic.
Which is what he did.
Your gentle side recognised this and instincts kicked in, you had to help him. You quickly swam over to him and grabbed his arm and pulled, you had never been up this close to the surface so you weren't so sure about helping him seeing as he is from unknown territory for you. Pushing him up towards the surface, he soon went through it. You heard muffled coughs and gasps come from the stranger as the coast approached.
Once he was there and gathering himself and his energy, he looked around to get familiar with his surroundings once again. Looking at the water, all he saw the the bridge of your nose and up. Your eyes piercing his soul. You would not allow yourself to be seen by other humans. But let alone one already. You saw it as a bad omen. To your kind and them.
No words were exchanged between you two the whole time. Mainly because you found yourself fascinated by him and how.. he works, as you had already gathered that he could not breath under water like you could and was not the best of swimmers.
Today you learned so much more about him than you did the other day, when you accidentally scared him. Yet fear in others was a new emotion that you had witnessed and began to learn about. Did you feel bad for them? You.. didn't know. Did you show it? No.
Not caring about the way he currently looked, he walked over on his knees towards you slowly. You looked up at him, keeping your head positioned the same as before. You both maintained eye contact once again. He knew that mermaids were a myth. But he also knew that the oceans were barely explored, so that it was a possibility that they existed. And they do here.
He slowly held his hand out towards you. You moved you head out the water more, to the bottom of your neck. Hesitant, you would slowly extend your hand out to his. They ever so slightly touched.
He recalls your hands feeling soft and smooth from when you helped him out the water. As well as now. But then, he didn't know what caused it, but you immediately retracted your hand, you narrowed your eyes, pupils back to slits like a cat and dove back into the vast body of water. It splashing back at him.
The sudden splash of water made him realise,
he forgot about his fear of the ocean for a while.
And, to him, that felt...
good.
this was fun- may write more- you never know
ehe~ :)
13.1.23 edit: AND. MY FRIEND TAGGED ME IN A TIKTOK, AND SHE SAID IT REMINDED HER OF THIS
AND THIS IMAGE IN IT REMINDED HER. AND ME TOO AAAAAAAA
look at this precious bby
#ELS RECOMMENDATIONS#did i originally start this in class? yes#do i care? lmao no#gender neutral reader#wendigoon x reader#wendigoon my beloved#PEOPLE PLS MAKE MORE#THERE IS BARELY ANYTHING DONT YOU SEE??#this is more angsty than i thought#im sorry#i dont expect people to acknowledge this thing#self indulgence at its finest#i have others to work on and heres me making more eheheeee
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
every day I have visions of transmasc Quark and transfemme Rom
#star trek: ds9#quark#rom#Quark who flaunts his misogyny like its a badge of honour both because Thats How Ferengi Men Are#but also because of internalized misogyny#growing up having to constantly prove himself as a Real Man#lashing out at Rom who is so much more feminine because in his head he's doing him a favour#Rom growing up not fitting in with boys but having an easier time with girls#having these longings he doesnt have the words for#getting married and having a child because thats the expectation#I dont think Rom would crack the shell until like. being with Leeta#looking longing at some of her outfits and watching her when she does her makeup#Leeta picks up on it before Rom ever says anything and is like 'hold my hand. lets get you estrogen.'#listen I have a lot of feelings about trans culture on Ferenginar#and how trans people would be viewed#I feel like its a thing thats not entirely acknowledged#but you get a lot of stories of women who 'dressed as men' for their entire lives#men who would go naked- or wear flashy feminine clothing from other worlds#whispers of people making up their own pronouns because I feel like the Ferengi language only has the two genders- male and female#I think its less a case of outright hateful transphobia and more a 'we are not going to acknowledge this and try to ignore it as a society'#I think a lot about trans Ferengi ok.
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
no shade but i reblogged a post once that said something like "hey misgendering these characters is crappy" and someone legit reblogged it from me and tagged "agreed but underverse gets a pass". like. no. no it actually does not. you are who this post is talking about???
i enjoyed underverse (i think it did kinda massively change the shape of the utmv side of the fandom) but cmon everyone we're just gonna let this slide forever? for real? maybe a little shade
FULL shade like it is literally so useless to rb those kinds of posts just to Look like you're nice and unproblematic or some shit but when you then say "not underverse tho!!" you immediately show just how disingenuous everything outta your mouth actually is. people always wanna talk but they never want to have to actually commit to the shit coming outta their mouths its literally the most annoying part about it all
#sorry for the delay in answering i got a wild hare and decided to take a risk by vagueing on twitter 😶 maybe i won't die we'll find out#i was gonna move on to avoid harassment but then i saw somebody getting dogpiled bc they've pointed this out a few times#and now they're being blamed for the creator leaving & getting death threats abt it so i got um a little fed up#it's soo transparent how people only give a damn about this when it's trendy and popular to do so#but when they're expected to actually stick to that irt something they actually like they couldn't care less#its all the psychological bullshit with the “i couldn't LIKE something with a BAD thing because then that makes ME bad”#when its really like. look im sorry but your unwillingness to accept that sometimes good things are bad is what makes you a shithead#i dont care if you liked it or didnt think about it beforehand i care about how you act when the bad shit's actually being acknowledged#do you self reflect or do you double down? because one of those is a lot worse than the other#blegh so many walls of text today sorry. i am maybe slightly pissed off !
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#miko talking#well. even though i try to get help it feels like my parents sabotage me more#the only comfort is realizing my feelings and wondering about it#frankly i dont like acknowledging them bc then i feel like im not playing up to the role everyone expects of me but#i want to express it in my stuff but I've been losing my will to keep drawing and writing and i guess#this is what depression is like. i just never expected to find myself actually going through it#i thought i left that era of havingthe worst time of my life but i feel like these past few years#are definitely my most worst#i think thats one thing games like pjsk has me realizing#and why i find comfort in n25#because to me they feel like pieces of me that have been written down#idk why im ranting lol??? i just want to be honest with how i feel but i end up going back to trying to be a people pleaser#ewwwww. i hate this. in truth i dont like people all that much. neither do i like making new friends#it's crazy because I'm always saying sure! when someone asks even though i know I'm not going to feel anything from it#sorry..... but I don't care enough anymore.... maybe one day i will#but right now not really..... at least at the moment.#these friendships with followers are in truth just parasociality and i dont want it after what happened the first time#especially with how two-faced/double standards people are like#people are the worst ^^ i wish the world was a kinder place for everyone but i dont know how much longer i can keep up with this#if only people minded their own business. im not someone to be babied by people who think they know better.#what a pain (◕ᴗ◕✿)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh Oh! You ignored an invisible, unspoken social cue that you were supposed to psychically detect without being asked, and now the allistics are cursing you out!: The Movie: The Sequel: The Series: The-
#god im so tired#autism#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#today's saga: I walked down the sidewalk#that's it that's my crime#there were three people in front of me taking up the whole fucking thing and moving slowly#so I pulled out my phone and pretended to be on it since allistics piss themselves if you look at them for too long#then the people camped out directly in front of my apartment entrance and had a slow conversation#so I quietly moved around them and headed for the back door#at which point one of them yelled 'fuck you' at me#why? I don't fucking know#allistics are always one social cue away from a meltdown and yet we're the sensitive ones#smh#they were talking TO EACH OTHER about going into the apartment and hanging out#they did not look at me once#but maybe#even though they'd made an effort to block me off for the entire fucking walk to my apartment#and had vehemently avoided acknowledging my presence#and didn't even look at me when they fucking said that#maybe they were expecting ME to ?? push through them ?? and open the door for them??#i dont fucking know - allistics are unhinged
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.
i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)
it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.
the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)
#and dont even get me started on when i share my friends with each other and they choose each other over me and kick me out lmao#WHY ARE FRIENDS SO HARD#why am i just a little creature that requires certain amounts/types of social interaction that never gets met#and no one wants to do anything about it. and im forced to sit here feeling bad about it because i cant fix it either fbbdbdfghhdhjrhfdj#this whole friend and human interaction and bonding and companionship bullshit is going to be lifelong issue and im not here for it#NO ADVICE IM GIVEN WORKS. IM TIRED OF ONE SIDED BULLSHIT WHERE ONLY I TRY. HUMANS ARE ANNOYING#im like a non human creature that wears human skin and everyone except me knows and they dont want me and i domt know why#i also dont have the energy to do the whole new friends song and dance where you small talk to get to know each other#and share your life stories. i rather just hang out and become friends through enjoyment of mutual enjoyed activity????#or something like that idk#i tried so hard to be friendly to friends' friend last weekend when we all hung out so i can be adopted into their friend group but#they didnt even tell me it was nice meeting me and hanging out and didnt even say bye to me. only to my friends#and i was too sad about that to say it to them instead as they walked away. theyre way more social and good at words#and i was overwhelmed and struggling to speak so i was waiting for the queue to say those things or something#i expected it like an idiot loser becuase i thought i did a good job being a cute gremlin that fits into the group that seems to have#other goofy gremlins like me. i thought maybe they can be “my people” or something. but then they turned around and left#after telling my friends bye. and didnt acknowledge me. and i juat kept smiling and turned around and walked away too#PRETENDING IT WAS FINE. BUT IT FELT BAD. BECAUSE I FAILED TO MAKE A FRIEND WHEN I THOUGHT I DID GOOD WITH THEM FOR ONCE#so “being confident/believing in yourself” like im told to do DIDNT WORK AND IT FELT WORSE THAN DOUBTING MYSELF. YOU LIARS. ugh fhdhdhfhjssk#WHAT DO. WHY LEE BAD AT THIS. WHY IT FEEL BAD. WHY NOT JUST ACCEPT BEING ALONE 99% OF TIME AND GIVE UP. WOULD BE EASIER#lee rants#autism things#i know its rude to invite yourself into a friend group but what if i try anyway 🤪✌️
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
lol extremely religious people are always objectively horrible people it’s crazy i thought you guys were supposed to be the good ones!!
#personal#when i tell muslims that the sole reason they care about 🇵🇸 shouldnt be just because theyre a muslim majority country#that they should care about gen0c!d3 against any people regardless of their race or religion.#and that by making this a muslim issue is exclusionary towards non-muslim 🇵🇸 people#also#mfs who have islam is life Alhamdulilah 🙏🇵🇰 in their bios#while actively being racist towards 🇧🇩 and laughing at the r*p3 and gen0c!de their army committed#like nationalism is HARAM brother#i never believed in the we are all one ummah bullshit i dont want to be grouped in w a bunch of fucking nationalists who dont gaf about#anything unless it affects their community#Im not a perfect Muslim I can acknowledge that and I can only hope to be better Inshallah#but some of these mfs are so fucking self righteous and evil but think theyre going to heaven/are good ppl just bc they pray 5 times a day#and read the Quran#which yes those are good things but u shouldnt do ‘good’ things just bc u think u will be rewarded#u should do good things and support marginalized communits/help others w/o the expectation of some kind of reward#im tired of the hypocrisy it genuinely pisses me off lol#ik im ranting but this shit genuinely gets me heated lolll
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
wish ig wasnt so fucked i do miss posting art on there but itll never be like that again. how zuck managed to make it feel physically bad and gross to use an app is incredible. its like a corpse of the app i used to use. a bad puppet. a shell. parading around, empty and awful. came back wrong. i cant use it the way it is anymore. "reels" and "stories" and the algorithm. im not using those. im not using that. it feels gross. its sliming me. its oozing slime out of my phone. i just wanted to make posts. have all my stupid art in one place and chill with my mutuals. but no. its trying to sell me ads and pretty people. and now i cant view my notifications bc it sold pretty people too hard and broke teenager's brains. itstelling me to watch reels. all the people i follow are posting their posts in their stories that im not watching bc ive refused to evolve the way i use that app past like 2016. why dont ppl just make posts. what the fuck is the point of stories. is that not just snapchat? im not downloading that either
#toy txt post#unreality#? not really but for some of the way some of this is phrased i guess?#i hate instagram now and it makes me so sad#but i miss it. posting art here isnt the same. but its not the same there either#on the rare occasion i do draw smth it doesnt feel worth posting fuckin anywhere#i dont want any tips on how to use it i just want it to not exist anymore tbh. at least people acknowledge that twitter is dead#it feels like everyone just keeps using ig and im just standing here like. its fuckjng dead. its a corpse being paraded around by ads#it died the day they introduced that fucking algo timeline.how are you all still using it. can you not feel the fucking slime?#similar to fb. i just. everytime i open it#every part of me starts screaming. how the fuck are ppl still using it? why am i expected to still use it?#at least that is like. im not expecting my nana to make a tumblr and i dont want her to#anyway. this has been old man yells at cloud#i feel like i have always used ig in a way that was fundamentally different than how other ppl were using it but i used to be able to get#away w it and have no issues but its not possible now#it wont stop reminding me what a horrible thing its become. it wont stop helpfully suggesting ppl it thinks i should follow for one reason#or another god fucking knows why
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hope the celling fan fall on yall 😒
#/ref obsessed with this phrase#anyway this is abt the fucingng obsession with the mario movie. dont wanna be a dick but omfg#the thing is like. a lot of the people just yk enjoy the fucking movie and thats fine and chill whatever#bowser sings one of my names at some point apparenty i dont have the right to complain whatever#but like. every person i trust to come at this with good faith has said that the movie is fun bc mario references and j being silly fun#whatever bla bla but other than thats it doesnt rly have much depth and like. isnt a superr great movie#but when everyone else comes at it with HOWW DAREE CRITICS NOT LIKE THE MARIO MOVIE ITS GOOD >:( its like. shut up#like you have to acknowledge when most of the joy of a movie comes from refernces not everyone gonna get#people arent going to treat it like its a masterpeice !! and thats okay whatever !!!#and the movie being fun without any other depth to it doenst automatically make it the most incredible movie ever#obvs the mario movies doesnt need to try to be emotional but like. you can make a movie thats but fun and emotionally impactful#at the same damm time !!!! its possible belive it or not !!!#the one of/most popular/well loved animated movie of last year and most popular movie overall of last year are both movies that#(while i havent seen one of them yet sorryy to the eeaaw girls 😶😶😶 will one day soon i prommy)#are both very fun and silly in places and known and loved for the emotinal impact they had on people cmon man !!#when the animated movie there is still in cinemas for many at the same time of the mario movie#the argument that the movie is fun or a kids movie so u shldnt expect any depth is dumb#the argument that its a mario movie and mario isnt a very plot heavy game makes more sense tho but i feel like#less ppl are making that for some reason? like it not no one but still. and the mario games are capable of depth sometimes#not to mention the reason having less depth with plot works is due to fun gameplay which idk if fun movie scenes can replicate fully#anyway enjoy the mario movie whatever have fun i literally love mario so fucking myslef and ik most ppl are like#being normal abt it and just enjoying a movie but man are the vocal minority just have fully put me off of it#my sibling is going tmrw and im not joining them bc im watching pibtlw w james+luce. but i also just dont wanna at this point#flappy rambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't think I've ever been in a relationship this healthy before I don't know what to do 💀
#mine#🎸#DUDE my feelings are so weird like i cant even describe them cause theyre all over the place. im hoping someone sees this and sends me an#ask or something with advice if this is even gonna make sense. because i am so confused lmfao#First of all im always expecting something to go wrong so i feel like it might be the absence of Problems thats throwing me off#But he reassures me all the time and genuinely cares about me? in regards to my last post we talked about it and he comforted me#i feel like im kind of in an emotional limbo where im still processing everything. my yan moments make appearances more than my dere#i feel so cringe saying that as a native english speaker. well im here to express my feelings not to be judged <3#but i definitely FEEL the jealousy more. like i exhibit both equally but im more emotional in a bad way than a good way#but its not cause of anything hes doing at all! hes perfect?! i dont know how to handle it!! i only know how to be jealous#at least if im mean im not as likely to get hurt and thats why im afraid to feel lovey things as much??? im making myself sound like#a bastard but ive just been feeling more anxiety and getting worried about Relationship Stuff and that kills the vibes#but he doesnt even mind he doesnt treat my problems like a burden. he isnt sick of them he doesnt abandon me. he loves me and i am still so#bewildered? like. hes the nicest guy ive ever dated. ill gush about new people i meet but they do have flaws. i just dont acknowledge them#because im so blinded by idolization. but for this one ive thought everything out i have PONDERED for so long and he really is just such a#good person. how? WHY?? he has not done anything wrong and its just my mental illness that causes ALL the problems. but he wants to#BE there and comfort me. what the fuck my brain is like short circuiting. people this nice exist? he doesnt want to use me??#and ofc this is all in the romantic sense. i still have friends that i value very much but this post is focused on romance#watch me say all this then he does something horrible. <-SEE IM SO NEGATIVE i expect things to go wrong#my main problem is im confused about my feelings they feel very tangled and muddled. im happy of course but i feel like the part of me that#feels romantic happiness/genuine satisfaction is all fucked up and broken. but he doesnt mind that im this way 🥲 WHY#HE ASSURES ME EVERYTHINGS OKAY he is there for me he cares about me but i cant wrap my head around it! im. this is so weird#one of my goals is to be less focused on being insane and actually get things done. w all my relationships i have a time blur thing#where i feel like time passes differently even more than it does for me. im just thinking so much bruh#right i think i was gonna go about getting adderall because of the everything all the time. im feeling numb but also#literally every emotion all at once. and it consumes me and my waking thoughts. i guess it was easier to ignore before?
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...
🧔🏻♂️ queerqueg Follow
the franklin expedition is dead as hell
👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow
Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan
10,558 notes
👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all
#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh
659 notes
🎨 asherbrowndurand
Just painted this
2 notes
ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927
RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed
🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow
HERITAGE POST
📝 shakespearesforehead Follow
How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol
82,170 notes
🌄 loyalromantic Follow
poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/
#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect
6,884 notes
🎀 thefopdiaries Follow
I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling
📜 bartlebi-thescrivener
i think i hauve consumption
112 notes
🐋 whaler4life
They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME
11 notes
🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow
I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense
#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo
56 notes
🤵🏻♂️ byronicherotournament Follow
🙈 butchbronte Follow
Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep
🙈 butchbronte Follow
I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened
📖 sapphichelenburns Follow
And? God forbid women do anything
#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily
8,027 notes
👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon
#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting
522 notes
👨🏻❤️💋👨🏻 hartgrindisreal
LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH
#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....
2,309 notes
⭐️ newamerican
Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol
#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure
0 notes
79K notes
·
View notes
Text
17 days until i’m 27
#gonna try to keep my expectations low for this thing too#cause last time during my birthday celebration no one even asked how i am. who cares that its my bday? who cares about the fact that its#my day?? nope. i even got insulted cause i sat on the part of the sofa where my aunt wanted to sit#i just wasnt as obedient as usual and she did NOT like it#so yeah when everyone went home i just had a breakdown cause nobody cared about me#i wish they’d care now but i’ll try to not expect anything#which for me is basically impossible but ill try#its just… i always hope that on my birthday people will finally show me love but i guess thats a pretty fucked up thing#if they dont like me thats fine. one day my people will love me everyday. not just on my bday. and not out of pity#its just that ive been lonely for so long#but its ok#but no celebration this year except we’ll just acknowledge it during easter. cause mine’s on easter second day#by we i mean my family my grandma and cousin families#i do have my delusiona about coach surprising me but ik thats not gonna happen#its just that he’s my favourite person and i’m a maladaptive daydreamer so#just gonna ignore my brain#no one in fencing will probably gonna remember my birthday#except the ones who have me on facebook
0 notes
Text
youtube
#koushirouizumi fotr#koushirouizumi posts#koushirouizumi ref#koushirouizumi no rb#koushirouizumi no rb posts#a: masachika ichimura#year: dec 14 2005#(Wow that's only *3 years* after 02 ended---!!1! And this was in t OKYO presented to the prESS)#(WOW YEAH I can hear some of these lyrics and also note how some of them changed)#(instead of the Tzar line etcetc...)#(You can hear a slight difference)#(They even kept the tallit!!!)#(Using 'Kami-sama' for Hashem *too* y u p...)#(Yeah a thing ppl dont seem to ~get~ is Hashem probably *would* be referred to such a way in a series production *too*)#(People see 'Kami-sama' and *automatically assume* 'Old Testament' and dont understand 'Old Testament' to us)#(IS THE 'Torah' except WE DONT CALL IT THAT AKA 'OLD' TESTAMENT!!! because we don't acknowledge any 'New Testament'!!!)#(Then they try to interpret such from a purely Xtian view and are SHOCKED when the 'theologies' don't line up 100 percent perfectly)#(Across Every Single Series Combined)#(Like...??? What did you EXPECT---)#(And then try to ~school us~ on how ~~we're interpreting the Old Testament {'''lore''' of '''the [~~'canon'~~] timeline'''} 'wrong'!!1!1!~~#(Like its one thing if people DONT do that and act respectfully discussing but hhhh th A T.....)#(sAVErS series aired *one year later* in 2006!!! LIKE)#(aNYWAY wHErES THE WHOLE THING IN JPN----)
0 notes
Text
more people need to acknowledge the fact that hard work, putting all your effort into things, and trying your best DOESNT GUARANTEE SUCCESS. more people need to accept and acknowledge that no everyone can succeed with purely their own effort! sometimes the only thing you get for your hard work and effort is getting burnt out. not everyone is capable of succeeding on their own without other people to help and boost them or pure "luck" and telling everyone they can't possibly fail if they are trying hard enough only hurts the people who genuinely do try and don't make it in the end. normalize hard work not paying off and failing with no success and not actually having a realistic way to succeed!
#that or help each other succeed instead of putting ot all on the person alone and shaming them for failing and running out of#realiatic options and ways to do the thing that leads to needing to give up#we need to stop telling people that if they just try harder. keep going. and stop giving up when they take a break that they will succeed.#because if they try too hard for too long they will just burn themsleves out and regress rather than progress.#they might make themsleves sick or injured from pushing too far. they may burn out and be unable to even do the bare minimum anymore#just simply trying your best doesnt mean you will eventually succeed. especially if you expect the person to do it with no suppprt#or no help from you or anyone else. NOT EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE AND HARD WORK CANT MAKE THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE#sometimes we need to know when and how to give up and telling people to keep trying the same thing is mentally torturous...#sometimes i wish people would tell me its OK TO GIVE UP. tell me they see im trying my best but its not going to work by continuing#and its ok. rather than telling me keep trying. dont give up. one day. and STOP assuming that me not succeeding = not trying#just because someone isnt succeeding while you keep saying try harder/dont give up DOES NOT MEAN they arent trying their best!!!!!#because SOMETIMES YOUR BEST IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH AND ITS NOT FAIR TO BLAME THE PERSON FOR THAT#ugh. i have too many feelings on this but is so hard to put into words so became a tag rant because of how messy it is#does it make sense though????? is there anyone that agrees or is everyone in the mind of “everyone can succeed if they ~try hard enough~”#because it doesnt matter how hard a fish tries to climb a tree. it will never succeed. sometimes thats reality!!!!!#you cant willpower your way past reality!!!!! but the fish can sit in a tree if it gets help and is placed there. sometimes people need help#and if you only want to tell people to try harder but not offer help then youre causing more problems by not acknowledging their struggle#lee rambles#WORDS ARE HARD AHHHHHHHFHFHDJFHHFDJ
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
shyambakery
Untitled
takakuteki-butterfly
pretty boys flutter and fly
justapetertingle
bye mr criminal
espressoandstiletto
Espresso and Stilettos
candyphoria
MOVED TO @GOBLINROCKCANDY!!!!