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#i dont know i just am really uncomfortable
unknownperson246 · 16 hours
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a/n: heyyy i sent you this on tumblr but i dont really know if my ask thing is working lol could you maybe do a fluffy fic where the reader has a sexual trauma so she always feels weird and uncomfortable after sex so izzy takes a moment to take care of her and make sure she knows shes safe? or something like that it can be izzy or modern izzy tho
*trigger warning: this fic involves some sexual trauma in no way am I trying to romanticize it. This is for a friend who specifically requested me for it. If you don’t or can’t read it then don’t read it*
Modern Izzy: Heavy Feelings
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words: 367
warnings: *mentions of smut* *fluff* *mentions of trauma and SA*
✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙✮⋆˙ ☠︎︎ ★☠︎ ✮⋆˙
You were lying on the cozy bed you shared with your boyfriend Izzy. You were always in pain during sex and Izzy understood that and went at the pace you always preferred. He was always so soft and sweet to you. He always helped you understand and how to deal with all the heavy feelings you had for everything going on around you. You always appreciated Izzy for that. You loved him for treating you right. After you both had done it you were so tired of everything. You wanted to sleep all day. 
“Hey baby you okay?” Izzy asked you concerned for your well-being.
“Mhm sure” you replied dryly.
“Come on I know why you’re upset you're always like this after sex,” Izzy said. 
“If you know why then why don’t you leave it alone Izzy?” You said quietly. 
“I want you to know that you’re safe with me sugar pie. I love you and this will always be a safe space for you bunny” Izzy said holding onto your leg.
“Thank you, babe,” you said, getting up to hug him. 
You wrap your arms around him hugging him tightly making sure that he would never let go. You felt an urge. You softly kissed his neck. You gently bit the cartilage of his soft ear lobe. You loved him so much. Your arms rubbed against his back. You pulled back and smiled at him. 
“I love you, babe,” You said to Izzy.
“I love you too honey,” He said with a smile on his face.
Izzy ruffled your hair.
“Let’s go out to have dinner tonight if you feel up for it,” Izzy said smiling.
“Sure what were you thinking?” You asked Izzy.
“Whatever you want,” Izzy said, giving you a small kiss on the cheek. 
“First let’s take a shower together babe. Nothing sexual just showering” You told Izzy.
“Of course babe. Let me set up a nice tub with warm water for the both of us” Izzy said while getting up to use the bathroom.
Izzy knew you both did everything together because it made you feel safe and loved. He always loved to help you feel like you were secure and happy.
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ninyard · 13 hours
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Hii, I guess this is a question not only for you but also your followers. Why wouldn't it be ok to like aftg? Like I've seen people say is problematic? But the only thing I've seen criticized is how unrealistic it is and like is a book so... idk maybe I lack critical thinking on some topics so if anyone could point me where to look I'd love to keep liking these books while being aware of it's failings :3
this is an interesting question! i guess the biggest part of whether it wouldn't be "okay" for someone to read aftg would be somewhat down to personal tastes.
re: the unrealistic part, i think if you go into a lot of books expecting them to be "realistic" you'll probably find there's a lot out there that just... isn't. i myself think that 90% of the biggest arguments i've seen about it's realism are from people who 1) refuse to suspend disbelief for the sake of enjoyment or 2) go into it with a certain expectation as to how realistic it's going to be before reading.
you can pick apart a million different books and movies and tv shows out there and find "unrealistic" parts in them all. and what do people say is even unrealistic about it? the different languages that are spoken in it? the trauma all the characters have? i understand it, to some degree, but i think people who think that fiction that is unrealistic = fiction that is bad, are probably just reading the wrong things. and that's fine. it's personal taste. but not everything has to be realistic for someone to enjoy it. that's just me.
as for the problematic aspects of it, i guess my gut instinct is to say that's once again down to personal perspective and opinion. i personally don't like or agree with some things in it, but i don't know if i can definitively say, oh it's problematic for this reason or that reason. are there triggering topics in aftg? are there uncomfortable scenes and problematic things that the characters do and say? are there bad people who do bad things? yes. that's just the truth. does that make the books themselves inherently problematic? i don't think so. but maybe i'm wrong with that. i don't know.
if you try to justify and explain and dissect everything that happens or is said in a book like aftg, i think you can probably find yourself in a real rabbit hole of is this appropriate? is this okay? is this problematic? i just feel that, it's a book, that has shitty things said and done in it, and it's up to you yourself whether you think those shitty things cross the line of being problematic or not. there's limits to everything, and while i dont think aftg crosses those limits, it doesn't mean i think it's perfect or an exception to criticism.
i guess what i mean is that if you try to find things wrong with aftg, you'll probably find something. it's not perfect. you could pick it apart if you really wanted to. but i suppose i'm just happy enough to enjoy it without doing that because it is what it is. it's a book about people who have had shitty things happen in their lives, about people who say and do shitty things, but i don't think it glamorises or makes those shitty things okay. me liking the series also doesn't mean i'm 100% a-okay super cool with everything that happens in it either. i am not the media i consume or enjoy.
but it's also really important to listen to people who talk about things that do personally hurt them or make them feel like they're not seen for who they are or what they've been through. i can say that i personally am not offended or hurt by 99% of what happens, but that doesn't invalidate someone who was. that doesn't invalidate other people who aren't me who say "it's problematic for x reason". i'm happy to share any insights into this if anyone wants to send them my way!
maybe this isn't a good answer to your question and i'm still not sure if i've gotten my point across properly. there's a million things problematic about aftg, i guess, but it's just about where you draw the line between the problematic content inside the series, and it maybe being a problematic series from the outside. i don't know exactly where to point you towards to have a balanced understanding of why it might be okay vs not okay. i'd just say to keep an open mind and listen to what people say when they raise their concerns about it.
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nikethestatue · 2 days
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I finished ACOSF a few months ago and seeing this fandom has been so confusing to say the very least. Nesta is my favorite character and I loved the Valkyries but .... I just don't see this Gwynriel ship happening. I think they'd be cute together and I wouldn't be opposed to it obviously - but I just don't see it happening given where we left off in ACOSF. I also am confused about the personality difference in Gwyn & Elain and Azriel.
Gwyn didn't even kill anyone in the BR and was knocked out and carried to the top - so why are people acting like she is some great warrior and will destroy legions of armies and lead the Illyrians into war!? She saw a mini Pegasus at a sleepover and through it was cute and now all of a sudden people think she's going to ride one in the skies while she paints Prythian with the blood of her enemies? What enemies even?? She's not tied to any of the IC's plot?
Elain didn't really stand out to me in ACOSF, which makes sense because it was NESTA's story. I didn't really have an opinion on her and Azriel or her and Lucien. I get that Lucien makes her uncomfortable but SJM writes her pairings that way it seems so I could see them ending up together tbh. But then I read the BC and - wtf ?? I am firmly team Elriel now because what do you mean Azriel's out here dreaming about how elain TASTES . I see you freaky azriel 👀 goddamn I Definitely was not expecting that from him but now that I have seen it I can't go back. There's no way SJM wrote that and plans on making Elain then end up with Lucien. Like I thought it would be fine but after that BC - there's no going back.
Either way - it's weird that people have such a strong opinion on Azriel and Elain because I think combined, they've said maybe like 200 words total? I like the idea of them but we dont know much about them? Why are people forming such harsh steadfast opinions on what either of them want or need or desire when we don't know much of anything? They're both kind of mysterious.
Idk I feel like I just missed a book with how strongly everyone is arguing about these guys.
Elain - had some badass moments but barely mentioned on the page in ACOSF
Azriel - even more mysterious than Elain but the dry humor makes up for it.
Lucien - he's not been in the past 2 books?
Gwyn - is great but not the Aelin type of warrior people online are making her out to be
Where is all this coming from I am very confused??
Honestly, most of this is coming from TikTok, Headcanons and fan art on Insta.
You have NO IDEA how many asks i've received over the years with people saying the same thing 'i saw so many Gwynriel arts on Insta and I thought that there will be some amazing romance in ACOSF. THEN, I read the book. And I kept waiting for something to happen and nothing ever did."
I think the key word for a lot of GAs is 'then'--they first saw the art, watched the tiktoks, got themselves all jacked up on theories and headcanons, and then, THEN they read the book. So now, the problem is that they have a hard time separating reality/canon from all that stuff that brought them to the fandom in the first place.
They are digging their heels and arguing that it WILL HAPPEN!!! absolutely will. Gwyn will become a great warrior and will ride a Pegasus into battles. Azriel will fall madly in love with her. They'll have kinky sex and she'll 'heal' him.
ALL of it comes from fan art. Literally, look at 99% of Gwynriel fan art and it's all 'fake'--imagined scenes that never happened.
I think many of them either left the fandom or can't accept that they've been duped and are incorrect in their assumptions.
It will be interesting to see what the fallout will be once the book is released.
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foxwyrm · 4 months
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Experiencing weird feelings regarding someone identifying as a w******, it certainly isn't my place to assume they aren't native american but it still strikes an uncomfortable chord in me as they seem to be unaware of cultural attitudes towards the spirit. Have there been community discussions surrounding this topic before? I'd really be curious to hear them, and to especially hear from native alterhumans from whose cultures this spirit belongs.
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rapidhighway · 2 months
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gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time
#idk it's so upsetting and discouraging im really tired of it#like bro.... everyone can see what you're doing and#you doing it just communicates that you think im a fucking awful person#if im going to be fine with like someone... putting themselves down for the sake of others#or denying help because thay dont want to be an inconvenience#it just feels rude#if you don't think that i genuinely want to help you#if you think that I'm just fucking pretending or whatever then why are you even here I don't want#a friend who thinks these thoughts about me xd#like#how many times do i have to assure someone#i just feel like shit#it really just feels so shittyyyyyyy#comeonnnnn#people can SEE you people pleasing and doing all that shit#and everybody fucking hates it#it just makes me super uncomfortable and i know it also makes other ppl i know very uncomfortable also#on one hand I don't wanna mention anything to this person because trauma is trauma what the fuck am i#supposed to do about that its just a trauma response but god i have feelings too#i want that person to also consider me because it feels so awful it just taints every single interaction#because it makes me feel like they think im some awful person who's going to be fine#with them carrying all their stuff even though i offered like 5 times and them just pushing themselves aside so i have space#even though im offering to share#AURGHH#it feels so bad#i feel like this every time i spend time with this person or any other person who does this that i know enough to like#recognize the behavior#idk im just tired I can't be putting all my effort#into reassuring every single step it's just sucking all fun out of everything we do together it just feels like shit whatever
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autistic-beshelar · 6 months
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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natjennie · 6 months
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ever since I was a little girl I knew I would be ostracized from my peers and, by accident and without knowing why, cultivate a life for myself in which I don't know how to interact with other people in any capacity without being supremely uncomfortable and self-conscious.
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infizero · 2 years
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listen i was guilty of this once upon a time too but dawg ppl GOTTA stop calling any platonic dynamic they like “siblings” without any precedence 
#there are many characters where there is good right to call them siblings. but ppl have gotten so trigger happy w it#and like theres nothing wrong with viewing a dynamic that way ig but at the same time it makes ppl who may ship those characters really#uncomfortable. bcuz although there is nothing to suggest that those characters view each other in that way by calling them siblings#instantly you've made it weird for anyone who might interpret the dynamic differently#idk this is very nuanced but it just irked me a little bit#absolutely nothing against the person in the tags of my art btw power to you#but. as someone who ships pearl and scar a little it was a bit uncomfortable to see them be called siblings#i dont like ppl making ANY of the hermits siblings. like grian and pearl are a common one i see and i just. i dont get it i truly dont#none of their dynamics read like that to me. idk. again ppl have their own interpretations of things and they didnt mean any harm by it#it just made me feel a little weird#and this is a problem or well. trend ive seen in all fandoms recently#please. people are allowed to be friends and have close friendships and not have a familial element involved#esp with a girl and a boy THEY CAN JUST BE FRIENDS! YOU CAN HAVE THEM BE TOTALLY PLATONIC WITHOUT CALLING THEM SIBLINGS#whatever whatever idrc. just something ive noticed i know other ppl have talked about this before#again this is not a callout or anything im genuinely not mad or weirded out or anything please dont think i am#serena.txt
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spearxwind · 9 months
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feeling solidarity these holidays with everyone not allowed to talk about their partner with the family
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piplupod · 3 months
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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orcelito · 11 months
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ooooookay so i havent seen anyone on tumblr talk about this directly yet so i figured i'd make a post linking to ppl talking about it. im not personally involved, but since this is an artist i recognize & see around, i figure ppl have the right to know
so uh. long story short. @/valdrickvile on here is kinda uhhhhhh not someone you'd wanna interact with, maybe.
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^ this thread goes into it
& in case anything happens to the tweets, here's the big document that goes into it. ive read thru a good amount of it and uh........... yeah.
im not sharing this as a call to harass the people involved (Please Dont) but just. people have a right to know. so pls just block and move on.
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shdwtouch · 5 months
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not me openly admitting that shade lowkey takes after me. this was not intentional, I swear. uwu; she kinda just... ended up with an extra dose of who I am as a person, whereas most of my original characters receive much less.
I realized this when considering that shade is most likely homo leaning. and I was like, haha she's just like me ! an enby ace lesbian... and then the similarities just kept getting drawn. idk maybe I'm just overly tired.
also like. not gonna apologize ? she really isn't a self-insert. but its also like... creators are allowed to put themselves into what they make ! and I'm proud of shade, I really am. so I won't be made ashamed for traits we might share.
#《 ° puffin.exe 》 im a puffin ! i dont do much#° mobile post !#° to be deleted !#tbh i dont know hoe people get off accusing people of making self inserts in the rpc like#how do you know ?? unless i explicitly state or draw comparisons ??#and why would i do that if my intent is to fool people ? like.#i understand that interacting with inserts can be uncomfortable. i do !#but unless you really know the person ? you arent in a place to say their characters are inserts#and tbh i feel like most of my discomfort comes from the prospect of being deceived#im okay with writing with inserts but im gonna draw boundaries#especially if youre writing them with the intent to live through them / fantasize.#while I think its valid its not something i am personally comfortable with. i dont consent to that as an rp partner.#but im also envisioning the worst possibility in which its someone getting off to how i interact with their oc#point being. to my mind. self inserts arent bad. they also arent easy to judge.#and even if i dont consent to interacting with an insert for the purpose of being wank material or emotional stimulus...#people could still use my content for wank or emotional stimulus by putting themselves in the shoes of whoever im writing with so#am i really one to judge? no. because again. i dont know.#and i honestly think anyone who can come out and say their oc is an insert or takes after them is#more trustworthy than someone who doesnt disclose it. idk just. there is no need for deception.#and if you do try to deceive me im gonna assume you have ill intent#whereas honesty is something that should be valued. especially in cases where the truth is so stigmatized.
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raspberryzingaaa · 5 months
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Dad: so, what's new with you? What are you up to?
Me: so I've been thinking about the Odyssey, and-
Dad: [deep sigh] I just hate that you aren't spending any time with real people. It makes me so sad
Me: ☺👍 twinsies! So, anyways!
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bambiraptorx · 7 months
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sometimes i forget that being depressed isn't normal honestly
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enden-k · 1 year
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im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)
on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?
i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)
(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)
ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there
#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl#and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction#so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was#instant comfort and the feeling of being understood#that its like#if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me#knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset#uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me#when to come close and when to give me space#perfectly knowing me and reading me#i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense#so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean#not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used#ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone#only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that#you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that#i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and#thats enough#sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my#mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really#grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year#bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me#inside me there is someone#reply#tags tbd#in case i get embarrassed LMFAO
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iwakuraz · 21 days
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it'll all be okay because there's only one more day left in the school week and after that it'll be the weekend. wait no what do you mean after the weekend I'll just have to go back to school? what do you mean the cycle of going to school and coming back home completely worn out is gonna continue?
#mole talks#ive been back in school for..... one week.#im so tired i can't stop feeling tired all of the time now this is horrible#i have to walk around school so much and im forved to be around other people anf its just exhausting#for me school would be better if they removed all social aspects#and all you would have to do is work and you wouldn't have to see other people ever#(apart from the teacher who is teaching you about the subject)#because if theres no forced socialisation that also means....... my classmates would never be ableist towards me again#:[ i can't believe i have to continue going to school#and ill probably have to continue going for many years to come#i hate how much it wares me out. i was si productive during the summer but now im not at all#and i JUST started school. it only gets worse from here#i just wanna learn. i dont want some annoying kid to call me slurs#i dont want to wear a uniform that makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin#i dont wanna walk around the corridors feeling like everybody is staring at me and judging me#i dont want to go home feeling too weak and tired to do anything#i just want to learn stuff#i don't think i even really care about how going to school is good for my future because i don't know whats in the future for me#i just want to learn things in the present#:[#wow i have a lot of homework i need to do. i say i don't mind the work but i haven't finished all of this yet so maybe im just lying#im gonna cry. i dont want to go back to school tomorrow i dont want to be surronded by people who hate what i am#but also i dont want the teachers to infantalise me anymore! im not a kid. im 16. treat me like everybody else im not a kid#why am i crying into the tumblr void again
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