#i dont know if ill ever finish or post this but its still turning out to be a fun exercise

[bannock-freak]

im not crying over nendo and saiki in the zombiefic nope not me nosir sobs

[connormoving]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[81folklore]

dress - VETTEL - part 3

pairings: sebastian vettel x famous!reader (fc: taylor swift)

summary: the fans think they have finally recovered from the bombshell yn and seb dropped a year ago, only for it all to break down when she goes on tour

authors note: ok lets talk quickly, this is set in the future because past me wasnt planning on making more parts so i said there would be no tour, turns out i want the tour so lets fast forward to like summer 2024. seb and yn have still been keeping a pretty private relationship, but shes turned up in the background of sebs insta lives and hes been in the background of stories etc. next, shes on tour!! only really just started in the fic, maybe at show 30-35 and kinda like the actual eras tour its taken a little bit for her to be comfortable and seb has been backstage/not seen (yes this is important)

authors note 2: i mentioned a little bit ago that i wanted to do the rep vault tracks but i dont know when that will happen so in the meantime you can have this and then ill do one more part when rep tv and then i’ll probably end this fic (maybe i think i’ll definitely miss them)

authors note 3: hi this is from future me who has already finished writing. i apologize for how all over the place this is but as i already said i will be doing another chapter for the rep vault tracks and i love writing for these two so i probably wont ever end this fic.. anyways hope you enjoy!! (also i was watching smallishbeans while writing this so sorry for any typos😭)

part 1 part 2 masterlist

yourusername

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cardiff that was so much fun!!! loved every single second of it and thank you for coming out to see me! see you soon london🫶

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oh wow! london you have just blown me away, seeing not only you all inside the stadium but seeing videos of you all outside having the time of your lives makes my heart so warm!! i cant wait to play for you all again🐝

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landonorris and lilymhe added to their stories

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[aluciahaz]

Sorry if this isn’t the askbox or not right I never done this before..

If requests are still open and whenever you feel like it of course.

I would like a dom male Reader x bottom Alastor rough smut, where the reader is in an important meeting as he is an overlord or prince of hell which ever you prefer.

And Alastor have been more chaotic lately which is messing something up for the reader and now he have to correct Alastor’s behavior.

Anyway hope you’re doing well today and take care of yourself and of course you can ignore this. Thank you.

RAHH!! im very late, sorry! i havent been feeling like writing in awhile, especially hazbin unfortunately 😭 so i decided to just post my wip i had for this request! i dont think ill ever finish it, so i wanted to post it rather than let it rot lmao, hope you enjoy although its unfinished ❤️

don’t forget your place

alastor x male!reader

includes: crying, gags, bondage

you don’t know what’s gotten into alastor recently.

the two of you sit in a meeting, right beside each other of course, and you watch as other overlords trickle into the modern room.

you didn’t even need to look at them, you could tell which people had arrived just by the sounds of their footsteps alone. each overlord was unique, it wasn’t hard to differentiate them. zestial had this almost spider-like sound when he walks, carmilla’s shoes pierced through the quiet like blades, and alastor—

“what are you thinking about, darling?” he asks, smiling at you with an inquisitive look.

you glance over at your troublesome lover, pursing your lips. “about how you’ve been harming my reputation with some of the statements you say in your radio show,” you tell him honestly, the sound of chairs moving against the pristine floors covering your conversation well enough to not require you to whisper.

“and how you keep killing some of my biggest customers. they’re too afraid to even call anymore.”

“oh, but you could always get more—”

“it’s not about that,” you hiss, your hand clenching alastor’s tightly. his smile freezes, but he’s still smug, looking at you under his hooded eyes.

“it’s about you walking over my image, al. stay in your lane,” you scold him, letting go of his hand as you feel him pull away.

all he does is shrug, clearly unbothered as he leans back in his chair. “i drive wherever gets me to my destination the fastest, my dear. and, it just seems you’re the shortcut.”

your grip on the bottom of the seat in frustration, glaring at alastor in both annoyance and sheer astonishment at his audacity to make such a euphemism. he thinks that he could just tear down your reputation to build up his own? what an outrageous idea!

perhaps you’ve been too kind to him. he thinks you’re some sort of pushover.

you’re already thinking of ways to fix that mistake. so much so, that the meeting seems to pass by like a fly and the fruit of your ideas are right in your hands in just a few seconds, tasting sweeter than honey.

“mmh—hn!” weak static fluctuated between an incessant buzzing to complete silence as you grabbed his ears roughly, tugging them back to reveal his dainty neck, a perfect place for you to latch your lips on, and soon you hear a jump in his voice as your teeth pierces his skin.

there was usually more leniency when it came to intimacy with al. you want him to enjoy it after all, so you let him bark a few insults here and there, mock you a little. whatever makes him comfortable, either way, his mouth usually ends up running out of words to play at the end of his little show of control once he gets overwhelmed, unable to read his script anymore as you drive his brain into an incoherent repeat of ‘please’.

but tonight, you watch him writhe and sob as his mouth is gagged and his body is completely tied to the bed, spread out and on full display as you ram into him, his head tossing and turning into the pillow behind him.

your hands ground him to reality, the sharp pain of your nails and unrelenting grip forcing him to stay somewhat conscious as you use him, showing how much power you have over alastor.

it was incredible to see his silver tongue unable to lacerate the air with insults, the gag upon him doing a great job at keeping him unable to throw jabs at you like you were some target at a range.

instead, all he could do was wail, drool spilling down his chin and making a mess of his dress shirt that you made sure to keep on him just to piss him off. you know how much he likes to keep his clothes in check. it’s part of his well-crafted image, after all.

“are you learning your place now, bambi?” you chuckle, your words cold on his skin, seeping into his body as he shivers at the frost, unable to protect himself from your punishment.

“answer me,” one of your hands leaves his waist, grabbing his chin and yanking him up towards you. a small, feeble whimper leaves his throat as you do so, and his eyes seem to dilate. dilate, out of all things.

“slut,” you spit, chuckling as you see his ears flop down. such a terrifying overlord, reduced to a small little deer in your hands. it was cute, how he looked at you.

it was even cuter when he shakes, so sensitive that he feels the need to twist and turn as you make him cum for the second time, his body jolting as your hand runs over his cock, still hard underneath your palm.

usually, you’d expect a sharp glare or some sort of defiance to your name-calling, but all you see is his eyes rolling back, his head tilting up as you release his chin.

there are tears that seem to adorn his cheeks like shooting stars in the sky, and babbling that‘s reminiscent of a muffled radio in another room. it was nice, seeing alastor’s breaking like this. watching him fall beneath the weight of his actions, unable to hold them up on his shoulders as they crush him in one fell swoop.

all because of you.

tags: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @drlucichen @mvskedxrtist @luciferspetduck

[samfucker]

guess.

if u guessed EVEN MORE OF MY DARLIN OC HEADCANNONS UR CORRECT. sum nsfw

sorry to all. im obsessed w him.

he loves zombie movies. and zombie games. call of duty zombies with his brothers used to be his shit. he was also very competitive. like, before he even hits the floor in the game he's yelling at his brothers to revive him. (im projecting :P)

after being with the pack for a few months, julius was convinced he'd never be a part of the pack like the rest of the teens were. they all already formed their bonds, found themselves in groups; they were a family. julius was just... there. even when asher would force julius to hang out with them, julius would feel so out of place and would just sit quietly

this feeling only grew stronger as he grew older and STILL didn't have any close bonds within the pack. he was fully convinced asher was trying to include him out of pity and it pissed him off. he HATES being pitied

he ALMOST got a tattoo for quinn cus he was young and fully conviced he and quinn were forever

now he has a tattoo of sams name

he also copies sams accent. and milos. and porters. not to be mean, but cus they like the way they talk! they did it with quinn too and he didnt take it well

he punched another pack member for making fun of him once. lol

HUGE RESTING BITCH FACE.

again, guyliner. one of the pack adults (i cant decide which) and julius x that one scene from the dairy of a wimpy kid movie

"are you wearing eyeliner??"

julius also had a crush on rodrick heffley. he wanted him AND wanted to be him.

"IM SORRY WOMEN :/"

he orders food then overthinks the interaction. "wow... i stuttered while asking for cheese on my sandwich... this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

not julius, but sam uses emojis properly. especially the sad ones. julius thinks its so cute.

also sam dad bod and chst hair and

me^

as mentioned in past post, he was sent to an empowered tti. he DID escape, but he didnt get to finish highschool cus of it. he makes fun of himself for being a dropout even tho it wasnt even his choice.

again, projecting, but he has an issue with telling others to kts or threatening to khs.

when he was a kid and he found out ur teeth dont fall out til youre like seven he cried cus he wanted money

this is alrdy agreed upon by the fandom but hes a WHORE. and HOT.

hes taller than sam... IM BOUTA BUST

one time when sam went in for a kiss julius turned his head away and went SWERVEDDD and sams face was pure shock and betrayal

he rubs his cheek against sams

bright eyes and sam that one meme

"why does julius call u babygirl?"

"how bout we stop talking for a little while."

baggy jeans.... compression shirt... or.... tight tanktop.... *busts*

slurty waist....... msucles....

neck tattoo........................ and others cus he TATTED

he wears rings too and he has a necklace he like NEVER takes off.

i alrdy said this too but im saying it again he has heterochromia (my twin) hes so sexy im gonna kiss my own oc

BJ KING!!

he bites. in a freaky way and in an intimate way

like he loves sam sm he js needs to bite his bicep or titty pec

he used to smoke. like A LOT

early sam and masc darlin was a homoerotic friendship. i know that sexual tension was crazy.

garfield lover. youll never like garfield like HE likes garf.

HE SUCKS AT GEOGRAPHY SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the end (for now)... do yall have hcs for my oc cus ill eat them up and send u a million dollars. but also just gimme darlin hcs

AGAIN IM SORRY IM SORRY IF UR SICK OF ME LMFAOO

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[nonsscrapheap]

Hello! Very random but I just want to tell you that you're a REALLY good writer-- just read your recent chapter of Twice The Primes AND IM HYPED UP!! I especially love Starscream's and Optimus Trion's interaction with the Primes, you wrote them so distinctively well! Goldbug's part also made me laugh XD, I literally had no faith in him when it comes to keeping Orion and Dion's designations a secret but then I was pleasantly surprised-- that was until he nearly blurted out Dion's name LMAOO.

And omgggg Pulsebeatttt! Shattered Glass! Soundwave!!! Any version of Soundwave is superior and I love love love that he's here! And he's attached to Artemis!!!! LETS GOOO. ALSO SPEAKING OF ARTEMIS-- THEIR PRIME DESIGNATIONS ARE SO GOOD!! THEY MATCH!! SUN AND MOON!! Im literally going feral about this chapter and cant stop re reading it (im not joking, this is my third read) Im so excited to see how Solaris is doing! And craving Solaris and General Megatron interactions, I can already imagine a scene where Solaris shyfully admits to not having an alt-mode and everyone is just: 🧍‍♂️

Anyways-- sorry for the long ask, I just needed you to know that I love love love your writing! (I've read almost all your Transformers fics, my personal fave is Twice The Primes and the reaction fic. They live rent free in my brain) I hope you have a GREAT day because you deserve it! That's all thanks!

- Taro 🍆

FPFPFPFT THANK YOU!!!! i WAS about to like, log off my computer, i'm still writing chapter 15, i'm at 1.8k words at the moment but yknow what? i can work a bit longer, get that past to like 2.5 or even 3k so i can finish writing it later

hehehe starscream and optimus trion's povs were fun to work with, especially optimus, i hope i'm conveying optimus' slow (slowish??) descent into falling in love with artemis. he already respects artemis so much and is awed by him.

golbug! the mischievous little insect (beloved) that is impulsive and selfish! yeah, he's attention seeking but he's smart enough to know that telling someone else about the primes' designation would be stupid and would reflect badly on him. even if it was his best friend, but he's still young and impulsive so he almost says dion's name anyway. still, he hast heart! he'll mellow out! eventually.

soundwave IS superior! any soundwave, we love him! i am especially attached to transformers: prime soundwave, he was the first soundwave i met AND the mech is purple, my favorite color :D i was tempted to make him the soundwave of the continuity but i decided to let PULSEBEAT have his design instead! i like green too, and sg!soundwave being attached to artemis, looking like tfp soundwave but acting different- i knew it'd be fun. especially with pax in nox's head!

hehehehe i've been waiting to reveal those names ever since i thought of them back in the single digit chapters. got inspired by solus just like in the story lmao, i went 'well, dee already has megatronus' frame, might as well have something related to solus be his designation' and from there it was the PERFECT opportunity to have nox be artemis.

SUN AND MOON DUO! MATCHING NAMES AGAIN!

*pointing at you with disbelief at the altmode bit*: YOU! HOW DID YOU PEEK INTO MY DRAFTS?! CAN YOU READ MINDS?!

lmao yeah

anyway! NO THANK YOU FOR THE LONG COMMENT! i dont get those often, its been way too long since i had one and i think this is the first long one for transformers! and aww thanks! i hope you stick around for MORE transformers fics! because i have no idea when ill be out of this pit that is the transformers fandom! it's been almost four?? five months??? and counting and i am still here. will be for a while i'm pretty sure!

question, i made a post about a fic of hot rod having tanjiro's memories and turning it into a hot rod harem fic, any thoughts?? (its not gonna happen for a while but its in my head persistently)

im glad youre enjoying Twice The Primes and my other fics! many apologies though because both other fics are p much on haitus since all my focus is on Twice The Primes, i haven't even touched my unfinished draft for the next part of Universal Observations in a while TuT

TTP is just too fun yknow??? and im at a really good bit too!!

i hope YOU have a great day because this question definitely made mine! don't apologize for the long question! i answered it in a long post lol

anyway back to writing TTP!

[naumin]

2024 retrospective and 2025 goals

this is the censored version of this post. for full images, check out the full free post on subscribestar!

hi :)

i'm really happy with everything i achieved in 2024. it was my first year illustrating full time, meaning no school and no salaried job on the side (believe me i tried to get one) and i'm happy to report i did not die! fuck yes. i even illustrated for 7 (i think) art books, designed merch for 2 and organised my first collab fanbook.

from top left clockwise: michael deforge, anna haifisch, Michel Esselbrügge, CLAMP, saul bass, jon whitcomb, rene gruau, paul rand, molly fairhurst

at the beginning of 2024 i made this moodboard for influences i wanted to incorporate into my work more, they are pretty much the same faves ive had for years but i just wanted to have them in front of me and start deliberately choosing elements to ape.

i'd say i basically want to incorporate more 2D cartoon graphic elements combined with detailed, realistic, delicately rendered characters, more theatric background design and props... features like borders etc. the thing about a moodboard is unless you print it out and put it up by your desk it will sort of slide to the back of your mind which is what i think happened w mine LOL. cuz looking at this now im like well i didnt really hit all these ideas but i did inch closer.

the first pic here is sth i drew immediately after making the board and i like it but it does feel like a slightly clumsy attempt at mashing stuff together... i wouldn't say that it shows i dont understand whats appealing about the work i was referencing (even though thats how it looks), its more like the picture goes in an unexpected direction while making it LOL. but that's part of the fun. whereas in my mind the 2nd pic spiritually embodies the ideas of the ppl i'm trying to copy. even tho visually it's still a ways off. its probably my favourite thing i drew all year? :) though that's hard to say bcus i'm so pleased w so many other pieces especially those u can see on my summary pic!!!

i have a few more artists i wanna add to my board and then i will definitely print it this time so i can look at it every day instead of just twice a year LOL.

another thing im really pleased about is the number of comics i drew in 2024. i have this odd relationship with comics where i do draw them and have for years and im more or less decent at them but i act like drawing them mortally wounds me. like im so dramatic... i do partially believe the only way ill ever be able to complete a longform comic is through abusing stimulants but you know ill also never find out if i keep crawling off to die after inking a page. i see a lot of illustrators suffering when approaching comics from the illustration mindset of making beautiful pictures instead of the comics mindset of making finished pictures, but u know, im extremely slapdash as an illustrator and im also proud enough to believe im a guy that can do both, so its really time i act like it... basically just shut up and draw. i want to apply this especially to perspective drawing/panel backgrounds, which im, like, fine at. honestly fine at. i do think i trip myself up because i want to be the next dostoevsky or beyonce or whatever, i want to be great, but have to remember the most anyone can do is aspire to express something from your inner world. everything else is secondary.

one thing i learned the hard way is how hard it is to have work life balance when you work from your bedroom and 'monestise your hobby'... you know, the thing everyone has been warning each other about for years. turns out its real. its super confusing when so many elements of your work bleed into your social life, physical health, leisure time etc -- like i go online for fun, and also to promote myself. so wheres the distinction? i watch movies for entertainment but also for research... ive definitely felt like ive been working around the clock or my job has consumed my life at points. but i think being stricter with my work hours is the way forward. it truly is shaytan at the wheel when u answer an email at 3AM... no more of this!

and tied into this is being realistic about what i can achieve in a day and not feeling ashamed or that i need to do more... i get stuck in this silly loop that's like... 'i believe everyone should work 4 hours a day, but because other people are stuck working 40 hours a week i should also be making myself do that' and then i work myself into a flare up and wreck my work ethic and enjoyment. u can laugh... i know it doesnt make sense. well i wont do it any more. because i CANT... because i will DIE... some days i work 4 hours. some days i work 6. some days i work half an hour... it doesnt matter as long as stuff gets done.. and it does.

also want to talk about my chronic pain and hypermobility... after a year of lifting weights i am stunned to let u know ive actually improved. unfortunately i dont look anything like the rock and i still cant do a real push up but im stronger and have more stamina and suffer from way less zaps and aches and numbness, which was unthinkable before. i only really noticed after taking a trip and doing different activities (painting walls) that i can physically do a lot more than i usually do at home. but also my house is fucking cold so its hard to do anything for anyone. hoping for warmer days and big muscles to come.

some of my other art goals are to work more on paper whenever i can. i used to have a huge stack of newsprint on my drawing board underneath my ipad and id doodle and test ideas on that paper before drawing it digitally. i wanna do that again. many people find its easier to 'think' on paper and im the same. whenever i have an idea i wanna go 'what would this look like on paper?' and then find out.

i want to be thinking about composition and storytelling more in my illustrations, as in, think cinematic, movie posters, communicating big ideas. even if that idea is only as big as 'this blue looks great with this orange'... i want to make more stuff that looks like promotional material for my stories. of course behind every movie poster is 100,000 thumbnails and sketches and half-finished ideas. i want to remember that and not be hard on myself for drawing girl in profile #997.

i want to draw more autobio comics, just to be drawing more comics and also to look back on and know what i was doing that day. nothing fancy. a lot of people are doing that gentle comics habit this year and i fear my competitive nature may get me into it too.

i have more books i wanna create which ive talked about at length in my last diary entry and for now i think that's enough goals thank you very much. thank you for reading this far and for all your support. happy new year! love you x

[alelathedragon]

🤯Quick Note y'all • The blog is like 80% going to be King Boo or his familys' POV - its going to be Bias towards their perspective, painting the heros in Shit Light, or excusing their murder tendencies as just being hungry when they know well that they're just a bunch of assholes that like to kill.

With that out of the wayyyyy onto the TWs

🫵

🫵

🫵

⚠️ Masochist Behavior, Other mental disorders being portrayed

For the GORE part of the TWs ill have them in the posts when they are relevant 👍

Askables!!! All the current askable characters and short BG

•Since his people started to befriend mortals, King Boo took their feelings very seriously and vowed to never harm a mortal whom was friends with someone of his family. It grew to a point where he felt he was failing them if he didn't try to understand on a deeper level so made his own Mortal friend.

•Jokester asshole most days, psychopath and killer everyday

•has Multiple Personality Disorder. But he doesnt switch often unless a specific trigger happens

•Bisexual

•Doesnt make Furniture out of corpses anymore 👍

WIP SPOT- Boolossus

(need to finish their ref)

•15 Boos forming together into one giant Boo

•When they all agree on something they will say "I, Me" and similar words to convey 1 person rather than many

•Fusing together combines their outfits or piercings, the Lossos shows all their different decors

•Every single one of them agreed on a Singular person they wanna marry more than anything in the world but dont have the guts to spill it

🥰You can literally make up a Boo pun and randomly ask a question instead of King Boo or Boolossus, they will answer lol

WIP PICTURE- Bowser

•Never going to be 1 single size in this blog. I want him to be large without making everyone else in the frame disappear so he'll just adjust every frame he's in probably. Unless i can figure out a scale

•Stupid Smart. He has his moments of smartypants but he's still a hard headed blunt guy who wont think twice about punching his problems

•Makes minions go through training before any threats of burning them alive happens

•Pride and Strength are what he lives and dies on

•Protects Jr. and the Koopalings with his life

•In the closet Bisexual

WIP PICTURE- Fawful

•Masochist

•Half mortal, Half DarkStar. Very unstable

•Managed to control his Dark Star blood enough to form a body, however he is 50% goo and can turn to sludge at anytime

•Lives on Pillò Island currently

•Low key rivals with King Boo now

•Poses as a Doctor in hopes to dissect people however he just has the worse luck ever

[localgardenweed]

Ok I was originally gonna write how I wanna go back to Eddsworld and do stuff for it again but felt out of the loop with the modern fandom and shit but ended up being a rant about how I hate Beyond so like gonna write this again but keeping part of the rant cause i need to share how much i cant stand Beyond again

So like I wanna come back to Eddsworld cause as much as it was a dumpster fire for me it was my first real fandom I was apart of online so it holds a place in my heart. I mean probably technically whatever I did on Framecast was my first ever online fandom space but shhhh that dont count i was but a wondering traveler looking for my place in the world. It actually got me into Eddsworld someone made a animation to Youth by Daughter and had me hooked. But still was very important to me and my art development.

Its so crazy to me cause i was into Eddsworld HARD in the 2016-2020 era where alot of the ig modern fandom was born i watched cities fall and crumble I was deep in the amino trenches, Pork Sodaing and seeing so much historical fandom events happen before your eyes. I was watching everyone consume every piece of Prince of Mints and Moho art I was a sucker for them which probably wasn’t okay for like a 5th grader but i definitely turned out all right /j.

I left for a little bit on and off cause Hetalia was choking me and like keeping me prisoner but like it still had a place in my heart for it but like ya know i still was there but idk now I just dont find the same spark anymore from the first go around. Something changed and maybe cause i just had my tastes change and maybe cause my ex-best friend was making fun of my oc all the time but i made him when i was like 11 and figuring out identities and ways to express yourself without sticking to the gender norms and dealing with alot of stuff at the time i finally caved and just didn’t feel the same any anymore about the show.

Cause I loved that fandom more than anything but, I don’t know I just don’t know how to get back that spark and go frolic in the fields with my TomTordOc love triangle of my 5th grader dreams and just be cringe and free and feel joy again but I just cant enjoy the material anymore like THEY ARE MASSACRING MY BOYS WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THEMM

It doesn’t hit the same and i know i dont need to consume Beyond i doubt anyone actually does at this point but i cant stand beside while they murder everything i loved about the Classic and Legacy eras.

Also just, I think I hit a road block with it too like, I got stuck on where to do and what to do with Eddsworld like. I make aus i made ocs i made a ask blog i made animatics, now what? And like idk i felt weird and like stuck in the mud with them. Also just had the friend falling out who was also the co-creator of the ask blog so now i dont know how to pick it back up all by myself again but them again i really was just doing it by myself all the time anyway so i just have to figure out how to get back into the swing of things

I have some ideas for aus and maybe just finally be free and bring my oc back from the grave for realsies and make you all consume it but, I don’t know. Im scared to come back cause also weirdly alot of the new fans are younger than me or the older fans are older than me so its kinda awkward, also im just awkward im scared to talk to people online, there is and were some people i desperately wanted to be friends with both in and out of Eddsworld but im too scared and either just watch from afar or abuse the Anonymous function in ask boxes. 

If i cave enough i might come back to Eddsworld to at least finish my lore for the ask blog cause IM SORRY I LEFT YALL HANGING I HAD SCHOOL AND THEN JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT but forever haunted by the people who like every single post and then i get excited cause i see like 99+ notes waiting for me and i think one of my new posts blew up but no its just the ew boys who screw around likes and reblog and the occasional comment

One day ill return to my rightful birthplace and one day I shall be free and one with nature and draw as much as I want for it and as many ocs i want without someone telling me its cringe or make more for the ask blog or hell start doing animation and animatics again

Ok here is the Beyond rant now if you wanna read it

I feel the difference between Beyond and Legacy is that, Beyond is trying to horriblycopy their older brothers Classic and Legacy and almost dumb it down a bit with more childish humor, and Legacy takes inspiration from Classic: It’s different but a natural difference/evolution. Or the fact a whole new guy was writing it all with a slightly different style so he wrote what he knew idk maybe a bit of a factor idk

Also i cant stand the Tord bait sorry I cant, especially when they used to like get annoyed by the fandom by asking and then just realized he was a cash cow so like now we get Tord merch and the hints and Tori and the skit with the cavemen like OMG TORD- and he got crushed by a rock thanks gang, cause like dude I think as much as we love Tord like maybe this go around respect Larson’s choice to like not use him in the series anymore and take him out but like ig that doesn’t apply to merch so yeah lets do one more go around bring out the red one. Or idk maybe they contacted him and was like “yo dude can we like use him for merch” but i dont think that happened. I think it was just better to leave him absent from the show and be like “yeah no Tord guys, no Tord” and we could have all had our thumbs up and be like “Ok Eddsworld Beyond we are okay with that”. Like I know Red October was for charity but idk it still felt weird to use Tord, like could this really not have just been the main 3 or like bring in some deep cut old characters or side characters did we really need Tord here.

[itgomyway]

Hi sweety! I've just read this https://www.tumblr.com/itgomyway/730190673012260864/i-saw-your-response-to-that-one-anon-asking-about?source=share, and I'm still lost cause actually what the anon here referes to is exactly what I was pondering... Ok, deal, we get thay a fly in imagination is equal to a fly in so called 'reality' but I think that this anon refers exactly the same as I : since both are real, how you bring something from the subjective consciousness to the objective consciousness so the 'ego' can actually perceive it phisically? I KNOW it sounds very loa, but is kind of confusing...

Look the other day, we run out of watter in house 'cause the provider cut it for a while, it happends often, mostly when it happends is normal to stay 6 to 7 hours until the change of turn where the next group of workers remembers to give us watter again, so I thought then 'I don't wanna wait 'till 1pm to be able to go to the bathroom or make use of water, so i sat in my living and imagined the sound of the watter runing again in the kitchen, I did it for about 15 minutes. Nothing happened. Then I went to the bathroom, did my things, and still no watter so I figured out some water from somewhere else to wash my hands and bla bla bla... but thought again, WE have to do our things, We NEED water to cook and finish the day as it should, we need it, not just us but our neighbourgs too, so I stayed there, closed my eyes and imagined again the watter running this time in the bathroom, I've probably done this about 3', as at the same time was thinking 'this isn't working, if this time also doesn't work I better leave it. Probably I'm crazy' BUT guess what? The minute I thought it the watter started to flow again... Is like counsciousness has a good sence of humor, like black humor or 'it' decides when things will manifest as one wants...

For example right now I NEED to get out the place I'm currently living, move away with my pets, and I do the same process but nothing happends! Things get worse here and I'm tired. It's been a while that I'm on it so It should work aswell here too. But nothing happends...

Well, my ask was how we bring things to objective consciousness?? if u can enlight me with this I would thankyou for ever! Thankyou beforehand🙏🏻💖 your posts are awesome

BTW Sorry for my english, is not my mother tonge but I'm working on strenghten it😌

your english is fine and thank you for your words :)

there is no subjective to objective you are still seeing a separation. you just replaced “physical reality” and “imaginary” with “subjective” and “objective”. neither of these things exist nor do they matter. as consciousness you are everything and you dont have to do anything. if youre currently very attached to identifying as the ego then its no doubt its hard for you to grasp. and that’s okay. personally i don’t see a problem with you attempting to use loa to manifest your problems away, i do it whenever my ego wont stop bothering me but ill never look to non dualism for a solution as the ego because it doesn’t understand its not real in the first place. you were doing a technique to turn your water on, aka manifesting. you deemed it as a process and the moment YOU were aware of the actual water turning on, not the method making the water turn on, it turned on. even though you consciously used loa, it is still non dualism because thé instant you were aware was the instant it existed. hope this makes sense! good luck on your journey :)

[cuntstable]

oh oh also top 5 fictional characters...if you can sum them up with a little paragraph + why you like them if you know. regardless of source material type

oh man. okay i tried to not write an essay lenght post but i. ended up doing that anyway LOL. so ill save everyones dashes with a readmore

1. pucci. obviously….. the main villain of jojos stocean, an insane catholic priest trying to create ”heaven” on earth, that in short is a world where everyone will know their fates/futures from birth and will thus be able to avoid tragedy and/or make peace with the inevitable, as inspired by his backstory thats essentially a tragedy formed out of crazy coinsidences or ”faith”. he wants to make a world where things like that cant happen anymore and is willing to die to make it happen LOL.

idk man like where do i even start….. its very funny bc reading stone ocean there wasnt any single Moment where i went crazy mode about him it just gradually happened like i finished the story and thought about him a little and went ”Wow. WTF.” like im almost certain half of the things i think are interesting about him are accidental and ive just added to all the vague thematic implications he has but still. like hes very clearly inspired by characters like oedipus from classical tragedies and he embodies the main themes of the story hes in perfectly As The Villain (memories, faith, the avoidance of faith, the strenght of the human spirit and will etc etc). all the while being an interesting and TO MEE incredibly compelling and sad character in his own right, and also an interesting criticism of the catholic church and christianity at large (religious mania, justification and blindness to atrocities through god, apathy and nihilism towards the material existing world in favour of focusing on some uncertain World to Come etc etc). ARGH

2. almalexia…….. main villain of morrowinds tribunal dlc, a mortal turned god now losing her divinity and trying to hold on to it as she slips into insanity LOL.

this is definitely a character thats been elevated to me by my own musings on her and what ive seen others do with her as opposed to just the source material but i do still love her lots… i think i just have a bias towards delusional insane manipulative religious villains doing awful things that theyre convinced are necessary for a better world. that and girlbosses LOL

3. klaasje disco elysium….. a lover of the murdered man the plot of the game revolves around, shes on the run for corporate espionage and works as an important clue giver to the main character….

she so criminally underrated its CRAZYYY to me that people dont talk about her that much. anyway yet another two faced manipulative character on the list……. shes so interesting to me because shes clearly an incredibly sad and lost person with a lot of guilt all the while STILL being a bad person. shes the kind of character who wants to simultaneously die and to keep living no matter what, so she throws everyone she cares about under the buss so she can keep running and then turns around and associates with the worst people and parties too hard and lives very dangerously. idk. its interesting to me. that and shes also generally an incredibly charismatic character both in game and TO ME.

4. yuyuko touhou….. a ghost princess who rules over the underworld of hakugyroukyo. shes the main antagonist of touhou 7 in which she tries to resurrect an undead cursed cherryblossom tree and the unknown person buried underneath, only to eventually find out that the person buried is her very own corpse.

shes been my favourite character for like over a decade LOL. my first ever Blorberino if you will…. i just like her a lot i think shes a fun character as this mysterious hedonistic ghost aristocrat that likes to play dumb and relax even if shes incredibly smart and powerful. and also reading fanwritten doujins and fics about her (ill be fair) very sad backstory (was born as a cursed human and ended up killing herself and being sealed away by her gf so she could live a grief free afterlife with out memories) as a 13 year old did lasting psychological damage to me and my taste in characters I THINK

5. lady hideko from the handmaiden movie…… a japanese aristocrat living in occupied korea in her adoptive uncles mansion, she runs away from her abusive life with her handmaiden after they attempt to scam each other and fall in love instead

shes a random ass character to throw into this list LOL but i do love her…. one of the cinema characters of all time….. and yet another favourite of mine that falls into the Insane Manipulate character archeotype. i could talk about her more at lenght but this post is too long as is so like ill just say that shes a man hating lesbian that murders her abusers and ditches her societal status to go and suck some korean peasant boobs. so ofc i love her lost :)

[starryybrained]

(Regarding prev tags) See here’s where I’m getting stuck with things

I want to make something Complete and Real. And i want it Immediately

The problem is that is not achievable like. Ever????

With still art it’s easy to do, i can SEE my progress and roughly know where Im going or want to go or estimate how long things are going to take. Art is easy and fast and pleasing

Writing is harder. Im exceptionally good at writing short, one-shot style stories but the problem is that i want More to sink my teeth into. A complete series, a book, something full and all encompassing you know. Writing is a bit paradoxical in that its my go to for days i just cant draw but it’s also horrible because i want to make Big Things and can’t get them together

Oh and animation is A WHOLEEEE NOTHER BEAST

however filming shit? Uhhhh not a problem i guess. It’s just more fun

I also keep limiting myself in medium because to me i have only Two options: draw (animating is Not A Reality to my brain often even though i want to do it so fucking bad) or write (it Must be something long and impressive because that is The Ultimate Goal.)

But im just shit at planning !!!!

So then im locking myself in box after box trying to make something that will make me happy and also possibly garner attention or a positive reaction from others (Not Fun, Tiring)

The problem is that i need structure somehow but also i hate structure. I need to be unique and clever and Right the first fucking time. I need to break the structure and be so goddamn special and when i KNOW the structure and have practiced it before - like for essays - i can crunch that shit like nobody’s business but noooo i dont WANT to learn the structure

And then you have to wonder is this really making any of this fun for myself

BUT THEN!! Heres one of the kickers! I’ve found that i work better when im either already having fun OR if im detached from the project and treating it like its work!!

And then you have to wonder if its really going to be your personal beloved project if you hold it at arms length and lie to yourself and pretend its a commission but its like you know you need the pressure to get it done the threat of a deadline just the imagined sense of someone will be MAD at you!! So get to fucking work !

Part of the reason why i finished whumptober was because i was putting the pressure on myself and absolutely FLOORING IT in desperation to get a spot on the completionists list

And like. That was incredible. But also it took the piss out of me and im still kind of reeling from it

And so here i am like. If i have enough wips to pass around like im in an unholy blunt rotation with myself ill be happy right? But then some of them never make it past infancy because the places they come from either arent true to me or theyre not interesting enough to go back to and then i have to turn them to scraps and refeed them to my brain

Anyway yeah i might write about an evil scientist idk. Maybe i should be as freakishly self indulgent as i can who knows. Idk im just having thoughts after reading some really crazy shit i never posted

What if i made another wip. What if . What ifffffffff.

[reidsnose]

happy campers

overview: the bau goes on a team building camping trip but reader and spencer spend most of their time together

genre: fluff

a/n: ive been kicking myself for not posting in forever but i think this one is pretty cute! please lmk what yall think :)

masterlist

-

-

the stuffy, eight person suv finally rolled to a stop, the overgrown children that call themselves the bau tumbling out as quickly and gracelessly as possible. Morgan and Reid nearing the end of a 2 and a half minute long slap fight that you happened to be caught directly in the middle of. you looked at jj, pleading to make them stop with her mom powers.

"boys behave or ill ground you both," she sighed, going to help out with taking things out of the trunk.

they immediately stopped, muttering under their breath that the other one started it. but before they could start again, Spencer caught a glance at you. you were taking a deep breath, smiling contently, very clearly happy to get some fresh, forest air. despite being in direct sunlight, your smile was far brighter than anything he'd seen in his whole life.

before he knew it he was being snapped out of his daze and asked to help set up the tents. he was really hoping to have a chance to share a tent with you, like you sometimes had done on cases when hotel rooms were scarce. but he knew that almost everyone wanted a spot in your tent because you're that much fun to be around. Penelope would win, obviously, and he would be paired up with morgan again.

he let out a sigh as he finished up pitching one of the tents, pulling the corner and nailing it into the ground. as he did so, something caught his eye: a pink, round, fat little worm crawled out of the dirt.

his attention was now fully on the worm, ecstatic to see it because he had been reading up on worms for a while. he called morgan and hotch over since they were the closest to him, rambling excitedly all hes learned about them so far. he looked up and could see the disinterest behind their polite smiles. his own smile faltered for a second, until he saw you finishing up pitching a tent.

"im gonna go show y/n. shes gonna love this!" spencer giggled, already walking towards you.

"hey kid i dont know if she-" morgan began.

"reid she might not-" hotch started as well.

but he had already reached you, sticking out his hand and revealing the worm. hotch and morgan looked at each other worriedly, concerned that the tiniest rejection from you, even about something as small as a worm, would tear his heart to pieces.

their faces changed from worry to confusion as they watched a wide grin crack on your face.

"oh! a worm!" you exclaimed gleefully.

they observed as you put your hand out and Spencer dropped the worm in your hand. you watched it wriggle around and would occasionally look up and nod along with his rambling, asking questions and listening intently. hotch and morgan were speechless, knowing full well if they offered a girl they liked a worm, she would not have the same reaction.

you and Spencer started walking back over to the tent, where hotch and morgan tried their best to seem busy. you two were laughing, something about putting the worm back where he found it so it gets home safely. if there was ever any doubt that you and Spencer would be the perfect couple, its completely disintegrated now.

you and Spencer were typically joined at the hip, but after the worm encounter, you two were especially inseparable.

the girls went down by the lake to tan while you and Spencer tried to build a hut out of random sticks and logs you found around the forest. and while the guys were fishing on that same lake, Spencer and you were rock skipping, and he was explaining to you the physics behind it. and you were both scaring away any potential fish for rossi, hotch, and morgan to catch. so you two were banished back into the forest for the time being. when the rest of the team came back, you and him were up in a tree, eating some of the snacks they'd packed, talking and laughing and subconsciously leaning into one another. you didn't need to be a profiler to see the signs. you two were head over heels already, even if you guys didn't know it yet.

after a bonfire full of roasted marshmallows and scary stories, laughs and giggles. it was a wonderful, but tiring night and before you knew it you were getting ready for bed, sharing highlights of the day back and fourth with Penelope.

"i'm picking up on a bit of a pattern," she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows.

you wracked your brain, "what pattern?"

"all of your highlights included a certain adorkable genius."

"what? no we just...he's my best friend so we-cause its fun and i just-" you stammered, feeling your face heat up with every passing second.

"relax my love, i was just teasing," she chuckled, turning over to go to sleep.

"yeah i know. goodnight pen."

"goodnight lovely," she sighed, "but give some thought to lover boy."

you chuckled lightly before whispering to yourself, "trust me i have."

you woke up and checked the time, it was 4:47am but you just could not fall asleep. you crawled out of the tent, grabbing your blanket when you felt the cool morning air rush at you. you didn't want to wake anyone, so you made your way over to the little hill that the suv was parked on, stealing the keys from hotch's bag and crossing to the other side that faced east. the sun would be rising soon, it would be nice to watch; you draped your blanket across your shoulders. you heard footsteps coming from behind you, your blood running cold, immediately assuming the worst.

you turned around and were met with Spencer's sleepy smile. his hair stuck up in all directions and he looked perfectly adorable. you had to resist your urge to give in and kiss him right then and there.

"you scared me!" you whispered, trying to stifle a smile.

"im sorry," he giggled, "why are you up?"

"im not sure i just couldnt fall back asleep. why are you up?" you echoed.

"morgan keeps farting."

you and him let out hearty laughs, quickly covering your mouths as to not wake up the rest of the team.

you faced the car for a second, legs growing tired from standing.

"look how pretty the fogged up windows look," you observed, facing back and fourth between the colorful sky and the muggy version reflecting on the suv. you pressed your hand against the window, leaving a print, "so cold!" you chuckled.

spencer put his hand next your handprint, quickly recoiling, "you werent lying," he laughed, shivering a little.

you looked at the two handprints, his comically larger than yours and you couldnt help but smile to yourself.

"do you want some blanket?" you asked, opening your arms.

"i think im too tall," he frowned, "maybe if i crouch?"

"how about," you dangled the keys infront of your face before opening the trunk of the suv, "front row seats to the sunrise and some blanket."

"that sounds perfect," he smiled, begging his body not to redden his cheeks.

you two crawled into the trunk, draping the blanket across both of your shoulders, being pulled together by the small piece of fabric. you two were completely cuddled together, getting maximum warmth from the blanket and each other's body heat. a comfortable silence floated between you, faint bird songs and the others breathing filling it with peace. you felt your eyelids droop, despite the breathtaking rebirth of the sun happing in front of you. spencer was just so comfortable.

he felt the same way, his head falling to rest on top of yours as sleep pulled at his eyes. he yawned lightly, pulling you closer and breathing you in. you smiled. perfectly content.

about an hour later, hotch woke up, searching frantically for his keys. he ran up to check if the suv was still there, only to be met with your sleeping figures in the open trunk, wrapped up tightly in a blanket, smiles on both of your faces despite being asleep. hotch was good at predicting things, he saw scenarios play out fully before they truly began.

he snapped a picture, knowing it would be put to good use in a few years, he smelled a wedding.

spencer and you spent the drive home smiling like a couple of idiots, grins growing wider each time the sun hit the window just right, revealing your handprints.

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc

[ridiasfangirlings]

is sarumi toxic?? genuine question, i dont know if its just the way certain fanmanga that ive read portrays their relationship. i love the ship with my whole heart, dont get me wrong. ive read lost small world, finished rok and season 1 (halfway through season 2). consuming all kinds of k stuff, i personally dont see it toxic as certain people do (knowing that theyve already reconciled). im super confused on who to believe so here i am asking you

I will say to start that I’m not exactly a neutral third party here, even with me being a filthy multishipper Sarumi is still my ‘main’ ship. That said, I personally don’t consider them to be toxic as a ship. There are definitely elements of their relationship as presented that are not good and could certainly lead to toxicity, but that’s also pretty understandable considering Fushimi as a character is not a healthy person and isn’t equipped to deal with relationships in a healthy way. If we look at, say, only season one Sarumi is a vacuum there’s certainly room to call it toxic, with the way Fushimi interacts with Yata by drawing out all his negative feelings and deliberately goading him into physical violence, but thankfully there’s a lot more to their relationship than episode five of season one.

When you consider the side materials the series is pretty clear that Fushimi’s actions stem from him being an abused and neglected child who clung to the one person who ever showed him affection and who has no idea how to handle things that other people would consider easy. When they join Homra and Fushimi doesn’t feel like he fits in he starts to assume a lot of things, that Yata’s leaving him behind, that he’s going to be rejected, because up until he met Yata Fushimi’s entire life has been him being rejected by the world around him and rejecting the world in turn because it’s his only method of coping. When he burns his Homra tattoo in front of Yata it’s a move intended to hurt them both, because the only way Fushimi knows of to break something that he loves is to do it spectacularly — Fushimi himself can’t break what he cares about so he takes on the persona of the person who could, of the guy who can flawlessly destroy what Fushimi Saruhiko loves every time. Fushimi is so afraid of losing his precious friendship with Yata that he feels like he has to be the one to break it first in order to save himself the pain of losing it. This is a toxic mindset but also a totally understandable one in the context of Fushimi’s character. 

Obviously Fushimi’s way of dealing with his emotions is not healthy but he’s not a healthy person, that’s well established. Are a lot of Fushimi’s problems of his own making? Very much so. Does he really owe Yata an apology for being a dick all this time? Also yes. But Fushimi’s actions are also very understandable due to his upbringing, and Yata himself says that Fushimi is trying to be better — “You have a sense of guilt.” Fushimi’s relationship with Niki is a toxic one because Niki is abusing him and literally doesn’t care about the trauma he’s inflicting on his kid. Fushimi on the other hand is well aware of what he’s inflicting and tries very hard not to care, while still not being able to let go of Yata and still occasionally letting his mask slip (how he has difficulty dealing with a grieving Yata post-S1 for example, and how he still helps Yata in Missing Kings) and ultimately, Fushimi knows what he did was wrong and he and Yata start to reconcile. They aren’t a perfect pure and unproblematic uwu ship but I don’t consider them to be toxic just because Fushimi dared to be mentally ill, the Sarumi I ship isn’t the one where they hate each other and where Fushimi’s still constantly cruel to Yata, it’s the one where they make up and recognize their mistakes and Fushimi starts on a healing path that includes recognizing what he did to Yata and in his own fumbling way trying not to do it again even though it’s difficult for him. (And also frankly if someone does like the toxic version of them go for it, you do you. I really hate how people tend to throw around the word ‘toxic’ as some kind of forbidden brand, like if a ship is not perfect and healthy and wondrous it shouldn’t be shipped. Ship your fictional characters any way you want, as long as you tag things properly! Be free of the need to be judged!)

[k-ru-h]

ok first of all. i am sius #1 defender and i wouldnt accuse him of shit without proper proof but. i actually think its important to talk abt this. and second of all this is the only time im ever posting fastpass screenshots but just because the appearance of a character is extremely relevant

listen i know we're all very excited at the idea of a canon gay character in tog, but i really dont think this was the best of moves. tog has so far been mostly pretty alright with handling gnc characters (think how well aka was treated by others, khun being very feminine, etc) and i dont think this one fuckup will change that just. siu is a grown ass adult from a very conservative country and his portrayal of intersex characters such as evankhell or aka isnt very, well, "woke" (evankhell being the only lead brown woman while being "half man" plays into a lot of racial stereotypes, as well as treating intersexuality as a literal curse). i kind of wanna like , talk about this new "queer" character kaya (i saw ppl call him that online, idfk) and like. ill just go thru my points in no particular order idfk ive written too many coherent essays for school this week abd it's 3am i think i deserve a fucked up little one

ok first of all. jesus fucking christ what is this character design

so uh. heres our gay male character! with massive fake tits, lipstick and long hair! this wouldn't be a problem in media already filled with other queer characters, but on its own, especially with the character being darker-skinned yet again, it plays into a lot of stereotypes abt trans women, as well as brown women being masculine. and listen, i know tog has a lot of very wacky character designs, but it also has a lot of gorgeous ones, and while i really dont think it was sius intention to make a transphobic, racist caricature (istg you can psychoanalyse this man just off of tog alone), i think it definitely has something to do either with his own internalised racism and transphobia, or with a lack of education to spot a (hopefully) mistake by assistant artists.

here are some random ass caricatures of trans women i found online and by god i am not crediting this shit, but. look at what i mean. the fake tits, the dress/skirt, the long hair and lipstick.... the resemblance is startling.

but okay. lets say this by itself isnt important. siu made an oopsie and we got a canonically queer character that defends his right to like men unapologetically, and bam didnt seem to mind, and was polite abt it! weeeeeellll... the thing is, this whole fucking thing is a ploy. and if it turns out siu negates my previous point by making it turn out that kaya IS just playing a caricature on purpose because he wants the political advantage and isnt actually gay but is, in fact, homophobic, i will eat that shit up. that would actually make a very good point and having a critique of homophobia is better than having a homophobic gay character. but lets say he is gay for now, lets assume. that still leaves a possibility that he is gay AND just using bam, but lets just assume thats not the case either. lets say he's actually gay and actually wants to marry bam, for whatever fucking reason. bam being polite doesnt mean shit!!! people on twitter are unironically saying this means he's okay with being in a romantic &/or sexual relationship with a man when it literally does not. bam isnt okay with any of this. from start to finish, be it a man or a woman, bam is in this nonconsensually. and one of bams core personality traits is his kindness and politness, and he's been in kayas shoes before, albeit not for queerness specifically. bam isnt a participant, bam is a fucking reward and object and just as that one guy calling khun a "cute little kitten" while literally discussing how much his worth as a slave would be isnt queer rep, neither is this! even if the two of them are actually gay and actually attracted to the two respectfully, they still treat them as objects to be sold or bought for political advantage. someone on tumblr once said that a drag queen will always be a better ally than a gay ceo, and! yeah!

anyways, in conclusion, this is at worst an accidental bigoted caricature, and at best a very good joke on all of us. source im gay intersex trans and i actually go outside and interact with real queer people instead of having pronoun discourse on tiktok. thanks