#i dont know what this means and i dont know why i said it. fades away into the mist

[fallenclan]

Crowflame why are u so based

hes got that summertime swagness

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie woke up with a pounding headache and an intense sense of dread. He groaned as he sat up, shutting his eyes to block out the searing light from the window.

He took a deep breath before opening them again, letting out a sigh of relief when he realized he was in his own room, safe in their apartment. But that wasn't stopping his pounding headache.

God, what the fuck happened last night? He remembered going to Gareth’s party, getting cross-faded. Then, just pure white-boy wasted as the night went on and someone brought out tequila shots. He remembered whining about missing Steve to some guy-

Oh god. The guy. It came screaming back to him, blurry and unfocused but there.

I can be your boyfriend for the night.

How the fuck had the line worked on him? Eddie didn't know, but he knew that it had. He remembered kissing him, whimpering into his mouth while moaning Steve’s name. How good it felt.

What the fuck had he done?

Pure panic was starting to set in. He cheated on Steve. He actually cheated on Steve. And for what? Because he hadn't seen him for a few weeks? It only took one vacation with Robin for him to destroy the trust they built? Was he that pathetic? That selfish? That idiotic?

He didn't even remember how far they'd gone. He didn't even know how he got home. Or if the guy came with him. The idea of him fucking someone else in their bed made him feel physically ill. Ill enough to have Eddie jumping out of bed, frantic as he looked around for any clues. But there was nothing. Just the evidence of the life he'd built with his boyfriend. The one that he had single handedly ruined.

Maybe he could just not tell him. Keep it secret for the rest of his fucking life. Track down anyone who did know and blackmail them to be quiet. That seemed more sane then coming clean. Sane enough to have Eddie stumbling out of his room in a hurry.

But before he could call Gareth to insanely demand the names of anyone who could have seen him, he smelled it. The scent of coffee brewing, plus the sound of a happy hum.

Steve was home. A whole day early.

Holy shit, Eddie was going to be sick. He was actually going to puke. The feeling bad enough to make his legs weak, so bad he crashed right into the wall.

Loud enough to have Steve calling after him, "Babe, is that you?"

Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

Not when Steve was rounding the corner, smiling at him like that. All soft and loving, "There you are. Rough night?"

Was that the last time he would look at him like that?

"Eddie?" Steve asked, frowning at his lack of answer, "Are you okay?"

Eddie wanted to die. He actually wanted to die. Why had he done this? But he couldn't lie to him. Not with the sweet, trusting way Steve was looking at him. He just couldn't.

"I need to tell you something," Eddie finally managed to choke out, his heart beating so fast he was scared Steve could hear it. Maybe he'd have a heart attack it he was lucky. Avoid this whole shit show through almost dying.

But he wasn't that lucky.

Steve cocked his head at him, "What's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Stevie," Eddie said, letting his first thought come out, "I'm so fucking sorry."

"What are you talking about?"

"I kissed someone," Eddie blurted out, his hands shaking as he started to word vomit, "Last night. A-At the party I told you about."

Steve just stared at him.

"I-I was drunk!" Eddie went on, his voice coming out wet, "It didnt mean anything, I don't even know why I did it."

Steve still wasn't saying anything. He was just looking at him, his expression unreadable. It just made Eddie feel more desperate.

"Please say something," Eddie begged, "I know this is bad. I do. But I dont even know who he is. I-I won't do it again!"

Steve still had his head cocked as he looked at him, something in his eyes that Eddie didn't understand, "Is that all?"

Fuck no that wasn't all. Not when Steve was looking at him like that. Eddie didn't even think about it as he sunk to his knees, fully fucking ready to beg at Steve’s feet.

"I love you," Eddie tried, the tears he was holding back finally starting to fall, "I fucked up. I know I fucked up but please don't leave me. Please. I can make up for this. I can. Please."

It was hard to see him through the tears in his eyes, hard to comprehend anything through how fucking bad Eddie felt, the sheer amount of self-loathing nearly drowning him completely. His vision was cloudy enough to almost make it look like Steve was... smiling at him?

Steve reached down, grabbing Eddie underneath the armpits to help lift him back onto his feet. Strong in a way that still made Eddie's heart skip a beat whenever he saw it in action. He led a still sniffling Eddie to the couch, grabbing for his hand when they sat down.

"Baby, how do you think you got home last night?" Steve asked.

Eddie frowned, "I-I don't know. I don't remember."

"Do you remember what the guy looked like?"

Eddie swallowed, so nervous he was still kind of afraid he was going to puke. And he highly doubted that puking on Steve would help his case for him to stay, "I don't remember fully."

"What do you remember?"

Eddie sighed, looking down into his lap, "I remember missing you. And then a point where I got drunk enough to say it to anyone who would listen. Then this guy showed up and he said-"

"I can be your boyfriend for the night?"

Eddie snapped his head up, staring at Steve with his mouth open. How the fuck did he know that?

"And then did he do this?" Steve asked as he brought his hand up, cupping Eddie's cheek. Looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world before placing his thumb on Eddie's bottom lip, teasing it with a smile, "Before saying you were beautiful?"

"I-yes? But how-"

"Honey," Steve sighed, a touch exasperated but mostly fond, "I got back last night. Then went to go find you when I remembered about the party."

Oh god, did that mean Steve saw the whole thing? Was this the calm before he kicked Eddie out? Was he about to be dumped-

"I can see your brain working babe, but it's working in the wrong direction."

"Huh?" Eddie asked, completely lost on why Steve was smiling at him instead of cursing his name.

"Eddie, it was me," Steve said calmly, though his face said he was holding back a laugh, "You made out with me. Before I took us home and you failed at trying to give me road head on the way home. Twice."

"I-what?" Eddie asked, shellshocked.

"You cheated on me with me, babe," Steve laughed, his calm face finally breaking, "Then when we got home, you cried about missing me to me. You're adorable when you're wasted. Stupid, but adorable."

"Oh my fucking God," Eddie breathed out, the reality of the situation hitting him. He groaned, hiding his face in his hands while Steve cackled next to him. He had never felt like a bigger fucking moron, Jesus Christ, "I am never drinking tequila again."

"Good idea," Steve chuckled as he pried Eddie's hands away from his face. He brought one to his mouth, kissing his fingers as he grinned, "But I love the honesty, sweetheart. 10/10. And the begging? Kind of hot."

"I was terrified!" Eddie moaned, staring up at the ceiling as a blush climbed up his neck, "You scared the shit out of me."

"You scared yourself!" Steve laughed, grabbing for Eddie's chin to force his head back down to look at him. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "My favorite little drama queen."

"You're a bastard," Eddie grumbled, like he wasn't smiling when Steve leaned in to kiss him on the lips, "Evil."

"But wasn't I a good boyfriend for the night?" Steve asked, laughing even harder when Eddie pinched his side. Eddie leaned in to kiss him again, effectively shutting him up as the last of his anxiety drained away.

But one thing was for sure. Tequila would be his worst enemy until the day he died.

Purely inspired by this post by @hawkinsbnbg

[mythalism]

i realized the other day after posting about this fan theory that, at this point, it is basically talked about in fandom as if its canon, and newer fans might not understand why. my goal today was to explain the theory and all of the evidence we have for it in inquisition to give people a better understanding of why this has become so ubiquitous, and to hopefully have something to look back on in two months with that "apollo gift of prophecy" dodgeball meme when veilguard proves us right.

very important before i get started: this is not my theory. i didn't make it up. unfortunately, i also don't know exactly who did and if it could even be traced at this point. this is something that many people have believed for a long time, and i'm not the first to write about it. there are a lot of great posts and essays that speculate on this theory, and what it could mean for solas's character going forward.

PLEASE feel free to contribute thoughts, or link to posts you have made yourself or seen before in the replies/reblogs!!! much of my own experience with this comes from long before this account existed, so i dont have exact sources but rather random, amorphous fandom knowledge of this theory and what major arguments have circulated in the past 10 years. this post by @sammakesart and this post by @mrs-gauche went around recently and both touch on this theory and i highly recommend them both! i know @corseque has also written about this theory multiple times over the years.

i was first introduced to this on tumblr when it started gaining ground in the fandom after the release of trespasser in 2015, predominantly due to a couple of lines of cole dialogue from trespasser, so that is where we will begin.

shoutout to @daitranscripts and the dragon age wiki for the dialogue

this line of cole's is basically the foundation of this theory, and what is cited most often. i'm not entirely sure if the theory existed before trespasser, but if it did, i dont remember it being well-known or widely accepted like it is now.

this line is usually interpreted to suggest that solas, who would have been a spirit of wisdom/pride at the time, took a body and came into being as an elf at mythal's behest. this is also the line that suggests solas himself once wore vallaslin, and that he removed it himself using the same spell he uses on a romanced lavellan thousands of years later, but did so clumsily the first time and left the scar we can see on his eyebrow.

first i want to acknowledge what are pretty much the most damning indications of this theory

solas means "pride; to stand tall" in elvhen, according to world of thedas vol. 1

the dread wolf form we see in murals, written descriptions, and of course, in real life in the veilguard trailer, bears a pretty clear resemblance to pride demons:

most notably, in the face and eyes. yeah i dont really have anything else to say about those lmao it's pretty blatant

overall, inquisition tells us a great deal about spirits, and gives the player an alternate worldview through which to understand them, distinct from the chantry/circle narrative presented previously.

solas himself, along with cole, has a lot to say about the nature of spirits throughout his dialogue and banter with several characters. one sentiment that he espouses repeatedly is that spirits and demons are the same thing, but demons are a spirit corrupted and perverted away from its purpose.

Solas: They rarely seek this world. When they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter. Wisdom and purpose are too easily twisted to pride and desire

During All New, Faded for Her:

PC: Solas, you said your friend was a wisdom spirit. Solas: That is not its natural form. It has been corrupted. PC: Corrupted? Solas: Forced to act against its original purpose. What did they do, what did they do, what did they do?

second, that spirits and the fade are a mirror, and reflect the waking world. specifically, that spirits reflect the perception and expectation of a mortal, and adapts accordingly. belief makes reality.

On Ostagar:

PC: I've heard the stories. It would be interesting to hear what it was really like. Solas: That's just it. In the Fade, I see reflections created by spirits who react to the emotions of the warriors. One moment, I see heroic Wardens lighting the fire and a power mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see an army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause. PC: And you can't tell which is real? Solas: It is the fade. They are all real.

and third, that spirits are people.

solas expresses concerns over what the breach does to spirits at multiple points, including here with cassandra.

he also regularly argues in favor of spirits personhood, and passionately pushes back against characters who argue the opposite, such as dorian:

as well as the inquisitor themselves, should they choose certain dialogue options:

PC: You trust these spirits not to possess you the first time you accidentally make a wish? Solas: Do you trust your friends not to turn on you? (authors note: LMFAOOOOOOO) PC: Well, yes, but they're people. Solas: Ah, of course. PC: You know what I mean. Solas: Are people only people because they are flesh and blood? Solas: Is Cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith? Varric by his chest hair not his wit? PC: They're not defined by their bodies, but they do have bodies. You need one to be a person. Solas: A demon possessing a corpse has a body. PC: A living body. Solas: A demon possesses a living mage to become an abomination. PC: They didn't make that body. They just took it over. Solas: Technically your mother created your body, with some help from your father, one assumes. PC: You've thought about this. Solas: On occasion, yes. OR:

PC: Spirits are bound by their nature. You said it yourself. They're shaped by contact with real people. Solas: Just as Leliana was shaped by contact with Divine Justinia, as those who serve the inquisition are shaped by you. If I change your mind in this conversation, does that mean you're no more real than a spirit? OR: PC: Im certain you have some rhetorical trick ready to counter anything I say. Solas: It's likely. I've had a lot of time to discuss the question with people. Or "spirits", if you prefer.

aside from this entire conversation being hilarious and very fen'harel coded, i think its notable that his enthusiasm and snark here is distinct from the way he engages in other debates, where he is often clinical and detached. on the subject of spirits, however, we get a lot more emotional investment from him - it feels personal. as he says, he's thought about it. on occasion.

solas having originally been a spirit adds helpful context for his insistence on spirit's personhood despite modern thedas's completely contradictory beliefs, and also helps inform his worldview more generally, especially in regards to elves.

one of solas's most heavily criticized aspects is his disdain for modern elves and the dalish. and i agree, it's fucked up and he is an absolute ass about it at nearly every opportunity. however, his feelings regarding the elves sometimes seem... strange, even in the context of him being an ancient elf.

keeping in mind cole's line from trespasser, that he "did not want a body", as well as another cole line from trespasser:

most people infer that there is some sort of resentment on solas's end for him having to become human at mythal's request. it seems as if he was turned away from his purpose. wisdom forced to be pride.

cole's personal quest, which shows solas passionately arguing to keep cole a spirit, supports this. it is almost as if he is trying to prevent cole from the same fate that was forced upon him.

throughout the quest he says things such as: "This is not some fanciful story, child of the stone. We cannot change our nature by wishing." "A spirit does not work through emotions. It embodies them." "You would alter the essence of what he is." "It is good that he is not entirely changed, however human he becomes."

most telling of all, i think is this line at the end of the quest if you elect to keep cole as a spirit.

Varric: "He could have been a person." Solas: Possibly. Would that have made him happier?

OUGGHGH.

clearly, for solas, the answer was no. being a person has not made him happier.

regardless, solas still values spirits as fundamentally equal to people despite their differences and worthy of the same freedoms, self-determination and respect.

this kinship with spirits, however, might help explain his disdain for elves, in a way i find to be more satisfying than "all ancient elves are assholes" and more in-line with his character overall.

it seems as if solas doesnt see himself as separate from modern elves because he doesnt see himself as a modern elf, but that he doesnt not see himself as an elf at all, but rather as a spirit.

solas infamously says, following halamshiral if you bring up briala:

"I'm sorry, I was confused. I do not consider myself to have much in common with the elves."

the inquisitor has the option for several responses, and although most of us probably pick the one that tells him to fuck off, the others are more telling:

PC: Nor should you. You're not defined by the shape of your ears. They're not your people. Solas: No, they are not. OR PC: Who do you have much in common with. Who are your people? Solas: A good question. Solas: I joined the inquisition to save the world. Regardless of who "my people" are, this was the best way to help him.

"not being defined by the shape of your ears" and solas's immediate identification with the statement and approval of it sticks out to me. it seems like he's just being racist, and he very well might be, but in the context of this theory, it can also be interpreted as him disliking being "defined" by having a body at all, or any physical characteristics, consistent with how he resists the idea that varric and cassandra are defined by their own physical characteristics.

if the player insists they want to help the orlesian elves even if he doesnt, he still has something interesting to say:

Solas: Stop Corypheus. That will do for a start. It speaks well of you to feel for the oppressed. Help them for that. Know them for what they are.

this is not the only time he equates all oppressed groups of thedas to one another, defined by their shared subjugation rather than the real, in-world divisions such as race and religion. it's also interesting to consider the relationship between oppression, as a situation that evokes certain emotions in those who experience it, such as pride. as solas says of ostagar, spirits there were drawn to the emotions of the soldiers there. are spirits of pride drawn to situations of oppression, where pride is needed for liberation?

solas's failure (or refusal) to recognize the reality of how oppression functions in modern thedas along lines of race and ethnicity specifically is one of his biggest flaws, but it continues to fit with this theory, as it is consistent with that same sort of single-minded, spirit tunnel-vision that we see from spirits and demons. i would also assume that he considers spirits to be part of this monolithic group of "the oppressed", considering the spirit slavery/bondage practices in tevinter and nevarra, both of which he criticizes.

i do believe, however, that to equate all of solas's unfair derision of the dalish to him identifying with spirits over people, rather than ancient elves over modern elves, would be too generous and an oversimplification. its also clear how much of his anger towards the dalish comes from... wait for it.... his wounded pride.

solas is prideful. when he is faced with pride in others, he becomes defensive, even nasty. when his pride is challenged, often by others pride, he becomes almost unrecognizable. the dalish specifically rub up against his pride, in the most specific of ways that grate at his most cherished qualities and that disregard his own perception of himself. the thing he is most proud of, leading a slave rebellion against corrupt tyrants, erased from history entirely. branded a traitor instead, while those he fought against are worshiped as saviors for millennia.

Solas: I have joined my fair share of causes. But when I offered lessons learned in the Fade, I was derided by my enemies... and sometimes by my allies. Liar. Fool. Madman. There are endless ways to say something isn't worth listening to. Over time, it grinds away at you.

its also possible, considering what we know of the nature of expectation creating reality for spirits, that the dalish framing of the dread wolf actually does indeed make him worse - more arrogant, less compassionate, more ruthless, more cunning, more of a liar. a spirit being perverted into a demon based on the dominant perception of it.

perhaps the most interesting tidbit about solas of all which supports this theory, is that this phenomenon of expectation shaping his nature, making him more prideful or more humble, is not exclusive to the world of thedas, but also occurs on a meta-level with the player by proxy of the inquisitor.

a 2020 interview of trick weekes, solas's writer, says this pretty much verbatim.

"Solas mirrors. If you approach Solas from a place of humility and say, "I want to learn from you," Solas will bend over backwards to tell you how flawed he is and how he's just coming at this from his own limited understanding. If you come in with ego, Solas is genetically incapable of not bristling when he sees your ego... because he can't not do that."

this is fascinating for like 7 million reasons, but most notably for the language trick uses that i believe to be incredibly revealing. first, solas himself talks about how spirits "mirror" the real world multiple times. second is the way in which they speak about solas's mirroring as innate, uncontrollable, and involuntary. he is genetically incapable of not mirroring. genetically incapable of not bristling at someone else's pride. this being a genetic incapability implies, pretty unambigously, that he is a spirit. we dont know of any people in thedas who have pride in their DNA. except. you know. pride demons.

pride is his purpose. he cannot turn away from it or betray that purpose to pursue something else. he cannot change his nature simply by wishing. if he were to attempt it, he would be corrupted.

trick offers this information as an explanation for player's extremely varied perception of solas when playing the game, and it perfectly mimics the way solas himself talks about spirits as being created by a dreamer's expectation of them.

when asked about his friendships with spirits, he says:.

PC: You're saying that you became friends with pride and desire demons? Solas: They were not demons for me. PC: Meaning? Solas: The Fade reflects the minds of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt/ And if your mind is free of corrupting influences? If you understand the nature of the spirit? They can be fast friends.

i just love how perfectly this reflects every fandom argument that's been had on twitter about solas for the past 10 years. like seriously.

random twitter user: you like that guy!? but hes a [demon]!! solas stans: he wasn't a demon for me

and it is true; people who are pretty deep into the games often know what solas is like to a low-approval inquisitor, but it can be shocking for new players to see what he is like at the other end of the approval spectrum, whether that is someone who hated him seeing the tenderness with which he kisses a romanced lavellan goodbye to remove her anchor in trespasser, or someone who romanced him witnessing the cruelty and detachment which with he grabs a low-approval inquisitor to yank off their anchor. he becomes almost an entirely different person based on how the player treats him.

for all that solas, in true spirit form, reflects the perceptions of the players, he has plenty of pure pride-demon vibes on his own, independent of player expectation. he is not just proud, or made proud as a mirror for player/character pride, but he often even goes as far as to act in ways that mimic how we have seen from spirits more generally, as well as pride demons specifically.

the wiki states:

"Spirits are not complex in the sense that they seize upon a single facet of human experience, and this one idea becomes their identity.[3] They are formed as a reflection of the real world and its passions.[10] A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose. For instance, a hunger demon will attempt to feed on anything it crosses,[4] and a spirit of justice will stop at nothing to uphold its name”

along with further reinforcing solas's tunnel vission as characteristic of spirits, he does indeed intentionally attempt to stoke arrogance in others, as well as test characters to see if they are vulnerable to arrogance and power-hungriness. this is probably best exemplified by his banter with vivienne, versus his banter with cassandra.

i mean this one is self explanatory. cmon.

but it becomes especially interesting when compared to his interactions with cassandra, of whom he starts out very distrustful of. however, through their banter, he immediately begins to test her for indications of her inclination towards arrogance and desire for power:

cassandra passes solas's tests and earns his approval through her humility, curiosity, and willingness to give up power for the greater good. as a result, solas softens considerably towards her, and becomes more evocative of wisdom than pride, offering her advice when she asks, though very humbly:

"i would hardly presume" is actually hilarious considering how he does presume. ALL THE TIME. but it shows the extent of this "mirroring" that trick mentions, when compared to how he speaks with vivienne, who does not pass his tests of pride: notice how his jabs at her specifically target her pride, the things she is proud of about herself, and tear them down:

he tells her that her position in the orlesian court is unearned, that the freedom she is so proud of winning for herself will come to an inevitable end, and that her resistance to demons does not make her special. its absolutely BRUTAL.

its especially important to note how little bearing vivienne and cassandra's backgrounds have on solas's perception of them. vivienne is a circle mage, a group of people who solas deeply sympathizes with, and believes should be freed. meanwhile cassandra is effectively templar, a group whom solas despises and finds unjust, and has been complacent in the oppression of mages that solas is so vehemently against.

and yet? it does not matter. he measures their worth based entirely on their propensity for pride.

it’s worth noting too, keeping in mind Solas’s almost uncharacteristic reverence for cassandra’s faith in the maker and (take this with a grain of salt because it was david gaider and he said via forum post….) that there are actually two types of spirits that become pride. wisdom, and faith.

"A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose."

what we DONT know: pretty much everything else about this. what was the process like? at what point in history did he take the body? how was that body made? was it stolen? did he start as wisdom and turn into pride later? did he always oscillate between both? was he corrupted by what was asked of him, to fight, as his friend was in his personal quest?

i could continue talking about this forever, probably, especially with how it manifests in the solavellan relationship and what it suggests for solas's story in veilguard, but ill cut it here for both my own sanity and yours. but first, a few fun dialogue bits that strike me as very pride-demon coded but didn't fit anywhere else in this analysis.

in conclusion:

[bahrtofane]

promises under the stars

It's strange. When kisses under stairwells and behind his parents house turns to no more than passing gazes. To hatred. But this is the life you live, the life you have chosen. So you live. You will live.

Jude x fem!reader

Word count - 6.3K+ (yikes !!)

Watch it - angst with minimal fluff. enjoy ?

p.s. - i took a few creative liberties with the time lines an what not so plz take it with a grain of salt and dont think too deeply about it thank u

you can read Judes pov here !

—-----

“Jude, “ you sigh. He doesn't look at you, he's afraid of what he’ll see and you know it.

It's a warm summer night, and you sit side by side on the bleachers of his training field. You waited for hours for him to be done, all for just a few moments together. In full honesty, you're not even supposed to be here, you've been threatened from both sides. And even family overseas have joined in. it's a mess. You think you told them you were off to the library, something like that. 

You pulled so many strings just to be let inside to watch training, likewise for Jude. But you're here, he's here. That's all that matters.

Only the lights on the field illuminate you, but you have memorized his face to need no light to see him. Your fingers grab into the seat under you, knuckles turning white. You're afraid. Oh so afraid. 

“Please,” you try again, soft and steady, patient. 

He finds the courage to face you, ripping himself from the doubt that surrounds him. 

You are what plants him to reality, keeps him steady. Your smile is enough to calm any worry, wave away any woe. He hates what he has to do. 

“You know this is the last time I’ll see you,” he mumbles. He can't keep risking things the way they are. There's so many eyes on you as it is. He won't put you into harm's way, even if it means parting ways to do so. He wrings his hands together. Breathe, he tries to remind himself. Breathe. 

You nod, swift and curt, “I know.” oh how you know. You've been dreading this day to come for a while now. And now that it's here, what can you do? 

He picks at the cuffs of his training jacket,“I told them I would marry you, but my agent said it would be unwise.”

“You would marry me?” you whisper, eyes wide. 

“A thousand times over. “ he finds your hand, gently lacing it together.

“I wish things were different.” a knot in your throat forms, and tears well in your eyes.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, gently bringing you snug against him as you sob. You will never understand why your families are so adamantly against you two all of the sudden. Your whole childhood was filled with teasing and jokes of marrying one another, giggles when you would be forced to stand in pictures, but now that it was to be true suddenly the jokes faded and anger took its place. 

He is good for you as you are good for him. Jude is a man like no other, patient, caring, kind, soft and easy to you yet firm to all else. He holds each door open, never forgets flowers, even when he's away. Surprises you with your favorite sweets, never misses a good night or good morning text. Buys you things you mentioned casually in a fleeting conversation, all because it comes from your lips. If you were to wish for the world he would buy it all, tied neatly and delivered to your window sill. 

He takes each burden off your mind with a smile, carries your things, sends a ride to any place you wish to be. (he's working on the actual license).

You fully expected your families to be static, jumping for joy and diving straight to wedding planning. Instead you were met with a brisk, “no.”

No? No to the man who has overtaken your heart and mind? No to the man who wishes to see your flourish and bloom in every regard, every aspect, every part of life? It's cruel in a way. You once used to grimace at the idea when you were younger, fake gagging and instead choosing to wrestle with him in the grass. And now you beg to be allowed to see him. 

To ban your union is one thing, but to see him at all brings too much weight on your heart. 

You fought every step of the way, every step until now. It gets to be too much at a certain point, when you have to watch your very move in fear of being caught, of being seen with him. When eyes wash over you with lips upturned in sneers and whispers soon following. 

The delicate facade you've built is beginning to crack at the seams. Soon there will be nothing left to keep you together. You fear going mad. 

So you choose to let him go.

Your phone buzzes, prying the two of you apart. Your heart leaps to your throat. Have you been found out ?

It's just a twitter notification. 

You sigh, rubbing your eyes. He rubs gentle circles on your knee. His hands are warm. Just like you remember, just like you dream of. In the gentle quiet of your room you close your eyes and wish for him. 

“We can't see each other but I want to keep in touch. I'll wait for you. If you'll wait for me.” he whispers.

You see the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. Ever thoughtful Jude, waiting for you to finish crying to allow himself to do so. 

“I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. “ you nod, leaning on his shoulder. 

And you do just that. 

Youre forced apart when a teammate tells him to get going. 

He scowls, “hold on.”

The teammate, whose name alludes you, shrugs and jogs back inside.

You stand, watching him shake the tension out of his shoulders. 

“This is it then,” you mumble, lip quivering. 

“Yeah,” he takes your hands in his, “guess so.”

You bit your lip to stop any more cries. He unlatches a hand from yours, brining it to cup your face gently, wiping the streaks of dried treats left on your cheeks. 

“I love you,” he leans down, pressing a single kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” you nod, chasing his lips. He gives them to you. Soft and easy. You screw your eyes shut. Oh you're crying again. 

You part when you can no longer breathe, foreheads pressed together while your chests heave.

“My angel,” he sobs.

“Ill find a way back,” you kiss his cheek.

He nods, here,” shaking his training jacket off and putting it on you. 

Someone yells his name and he sighs. One last kiss to your forehead. 

You watch him sprint down the stands, giving you one last smile before disappearing in the tunnel. 

—--

Dortmund is kind to him, you watch as you flourish on the field, never missing a game. You know it's too much to go in person so you stay tucked into bed, laptop out and always always waiting for his name to be announced. Giddy as he looks at the camera. Some days you even convince yourself he's looking right at you.

He calls when he can, facetime you when he's at the facilities. Obnoxiously flexing to the camera while you laugh. You treasure these moments. The few minutes a day when the time difference allows for an overlap. Just enough to get you through to the next day. He always blows a kiss to the camera, and you alway catch it. No matter how cheesy. 

“I stubbed my toe.” he whines on the other end.

You laugh, “and whose fault is that.”

“Yours.” he decides. 

“Uh huh.” you shake your head fondly, raising a brow at your phone that sits on a window sill. Today you're at a cafe getting some work done. And he just finished dinner. 

“Think you'll be able to come to a game soon?” he asks, voice barely a whisper. 

You stop typing, frowning, “Jude…”

He shakes his head, “I'm sorry. I know. We can't.”

“Maybe in a year or so? Things should be cooled down by then.”

“Sure,” he shrugs, “they still giving you a hard time?”

You blow air through your nose, “hard time is an understatement, they've practically banned sports.” making light of the outrages situation helps you feel better some days. Jude joining in helps. He always helps. 

“So dramatic.” he tuts. 

You nod, “so dramatic.”

—--

The year comes and goes. The texts slow down till they are few and far inbetween. You can't blame him. You watch him dominate the field in each appearance, breaking records and showing the world what you've always known, showing just how special he is.

His following count skyrockets and he gets a blue check. You feel special to be one of the few he follows. No matter how silly. Even when he doesn't reply to you and posts on his story you try not to take it too hard (you let it get to your head on bad days.)

You wait for each reply patiently like a lifeline nonetheless, connecting the two of you together. You drop everything the moment his name flashes on the screen. You try to ease the butterflies that float and twist in your stomach, the jitters that make it hard to type out responses right. But you can't help it. 

He wins the German cup. And you get a call late into the night, bleary as you reach for your phone, groaning while you put it to your ear. Skipping over his face that illuminates the screen, smiling. Cheeks flush and eyes blown wide. 

He giggles, “hi.” 

“Hi,” you mumble back. 

He giggles again, “m in your ear.”

You squint, bringing the phone in front of you and getting your first good look of him of the night. 

“Hey Jude.”

“Hey love.” he sighs dreamily. 

You come to your senses soon enough, scooting to sit upright, pushing your pillows around getting comfortable. 

“Are you drunk?” You laugh. 

“Shhh…” he puts a finger to his lips, “secret.”

You raise a brow, “you’re not doing a very good job at keeping it that way.”

Bursts of laughter bubble from his lips. Swaying side to side while. He blinks, hard, mouth open while he stares.

“ ‘M fine.” He nods. Proud of himself. 

You frown, “Are you going to be okay? Are you alone?”

“Erlings with me. My best roommate.”

“Okay good. Be safe.��� 

“You’re so pretty.” Is what he manages to get out. 

“Thank you. You should go to bed.” You smile. He’s sweet, no matter how drunk. 

“But I missed you.” He pouts, bottom lip quivering and for a second you think he’s about to cry. Instead he blows a kiss to you. Of course you catch it. 

“I missed you too. But it’s late, for both of us.” You lean against your pillow, blinking against the dark of your room. 

He hums, tapping his finger against his chin. “I won the cup.” He blurts. 

“I know love. I watched.”

His eyes go wide, “you watched me.”

You nod, “the whole game.”

He scrunches his nose, “wow.”

“You did amazing.”

“Wow.” He repeats.

You yawn, squinting against the time in the little corner of your phone. 

“Jude.”

“Hm?”

“Head to bed. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

He sighs, shoulders sagging, “fine.”

“I love you. “

He perks right back up. “I love you. You. You.”

You give him a little kiss to the screen and he manages to fall back on his bed sighing happily. You hear erling come in and decide to hang up. You hope he manages to get out of his kit for the night. 

——

Things start to calm down on your end. It's almost like everyone's choosing to forget about the hell they've put you through. But you don't make a fuss, you are happy to have peace of mind, no matter how fleeting it may seem. It's just one step closer to being able to have him. Fully and wholly. 

He calls you early into the morning. He's sitting in his house, shirt off, smiling. 

“Uh oh. What's this about? “ 

He only smiles wider, bringing an ipad out of nowhere and showing it to you. 

You squint, “jude i can't see that. “

He huffs, “here,” picking up his phone and flipping the camera to where his ipad now sits on his lap. 

On the screen reads flight information, for about 2 weeks out, destination is to you. Your eyes go wide and you hear him chuckle on the other end. 

“No way. No way oh my god.” you all but squeal.

He flips the camera back around, “Can't wait to see you again,” he beams. 

“I missed you so much.” 

“Me too.” he mumbles, lips curling in a smile. 

——-

You greet him at the airport, flowers in hand. No you don’t care how cheesy it is. Even if you have to wait in the most obscure place, car parked and nerves rising. Playing with every button and switch on your dashboard, picking at every spec of dust you can reach. You got it detailed yesterday and you’re already nitpicking. 

You check and recheck your phone, picking at the petals of the flowers that rest in your passenger, until his contact illuminates your screen. 

You frantically answer, “hey.”

“TSA was being a bitch.” He groans. 

You chuckle, “that bad.”

“The worst. Where you at?”

You look around for signs, “arrivals, right next to the luggage cart return thing. It says door D5. “

“D5. Okay okay I’m coming.”

You hum, hanging up and drumming your hands on the wheel. 

He calls you again, “okay I’m walking out the door. Can you help me with the luggage?”

“Yeah-“ you unbuckle your seatbelt, putting your hazards on and stepping out of the car. You see him walk out the door and you almost drop your phone while rushing up to him. 

He lets go of his carry on, opening his arms and you slip right into them. 

“Hey,” he hums into your hair.

You laugh,“hey.” 

You unlatch far too soon for your liking out the sounds and rush of the airport pushes you to get him in your car and outta here. 

You grab his things, one carry on and one checked bag, clicking your keys and opening your trunk. He doesn’t let you do much else, lifting the suitcase and sliding it inside. Your little 4 door sedan manages to fit the checked bag in your truck. With not enough room for the carry in, it slides into your back seat. 

You close the door, patting the top of your car affectionately, “there. All good to go?”

He nods, opening the door to your passenger and gasping, “flowers?” Eyes going wide, eyebrows shooting in and looking at you. Lips parted. 

Oh yes. You forgot about those. “Haha. Yeah. Flowers.”

He picks them up gingerly, setting them into his lap as he gets into the seat. “Are these for me?”

You hop to the driver's side, buckling your seatbelt, “duh.” 

He giggles,”they’re sweet.”

“Smell them.” 

He does, putting his face in the petals, “woah.”

“Best flowers in town.” 

“Smells like. Fresh laundry.” He nods. 

“Laundry. You called my flowers laundry.” You sigh. 

He swats your arm, “it’s a compliment jeez. Just landed and you’re giving me a hard time.”

“Yeah yeah buckle up.” You flick his arm. 

The ride home is one filled with animated stories to catch up the time between you two. Completely oblivious to anything else as you drive with one hand, and the other plays with his fingers. 

You get to your little apartment, parking and getting his things out. Sliding your key card over the sensor and you guide him to the lobby. 

You roll over to the elevator and hit the button. Sniffling while it heads up. 

“Are you sick?” He narrows his eyes at you. 

“Nah.”

“Mkay.”

The elevator dings and you find your way to your little home, unlocking the door and motioning him inside. 

“Ta da!”

He snorts, “I’m excited.”

“You should be. Best house this side of the equator.”

He rolls his things inside, shaking his head, “so there’s better on the other side?”

You shrug, “there might be.”

He collapses on your couch the moment he sees it. Closing his eyes and sighing deeply. 

“Shoes off at the door Jude.” You slide yours off and set them next to your shoe rack. 

He groans, kicking them off and trudging back to set them next to yours. 

By the time you put his things in your room, he's out like a light, snoring softly. 

—--

You let him sleep, by the time he comes back to it it's dinner time. Groggy and cranky he pads over to your dining table, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes but reaching for you.

He finds you eventually, plating the last bit of food while he wraps his arms around you, leaning into your back. You stifle a laugh  while he mumbles something about you being mean. You only roll your eyes, unlatching his grip.

“Time to eat baby.”

He only purses his lips, leaning against yours. You give him what he wants. Pressing a gentle kiss and guiding him to his seat. A sleep Jude is a clingy one you've learned. 

He eats all you make, complimenting and praising you after every bite. 

“You're so good at this.” he sighs, taking a sip of his water. 

“Anything for my favorite boy.”

He preens at this, smiling wide.

He's only here for the next three days but you'll take anything you can get. 

——-

Jude worries for you. 

Even in the gentle lull of your ac that fans his face while you're fast asleep against him.

He wonders who much longer he can keep doing this. Holding onto hope that down the line he will still have you.

His time is running out with you. It feels just like the day you parted at the stadium. Crying. He noticed you kept the jacket, neatly tucked in your closet.

It makes him frown. Making you waste your youth waiting for him. 

Part of him wants to keep you for him and only him. Keep waiting and hoping things will work out. Another part of him, much less excited, wishes for you to look him in the eye and tell him you don't love him anymore.

One of you has to do it, he thinks. 

Even if you move in with him and you get married. Is it worth the fall out? His mother hates you. His father cant stand hearing your name at the dinner table on the few days they eat together.

He knows the sentiment is shared on your end.

But he loves you. Oh how he loves you. 

—--

After he leaves you don't hear from him for months on end your worry rises, and when the replies also shorten, your fear takes a hold of you. Sensibility out the window and in comes every insecure thought. 

He's found a hot shot model to be with hasn't he. Or better yet a female player. Reporter perhaps? You're not dumb or blind, you know you're not the only one who sees how handsome he is. He's growing into his features beautifully. But does he see you?

Is he leaving you behind now, as his life and career continue to accelerate at speeds you can barely keep up with, is he no longer waiting for you ?

—--

Jude finds his routine once again. Training playing, training playing. It's a little dull, he thinks.

Much better if you would be here. 

But he can't have that. 

He stops himself from talking to you. It feels wrong. He can't shake off the feeling that he's only doing you wrong by making you keep up with him. So he slowly distances himself. 

—--

He cant stay away. Not even if he tries. 

He surprises you near your birthday. Completely unannounced while you're in the middle of cleaning. 

You open the door to a jittery Jude who grabs you close, pressing his lips firm to yours.

“Hello to you too,” you giggle in between kisses. 

Peck! “You're so-” peck!, “beautiful.”

You shoo him away, getting his things inside as he takes his shoes off at the door. 

“I missed you so much, “ he mumbles against the crook of your neck.

“Me too,” you sigh, clutching into his hands like a lifeline. 

“I got you tickets?”

You look up at him, “okay. Ill go.”

He attacks you with a hundred more kisses, bursts of laughter spilling from the both of you. You dont think youve ever been happier. 

—--

You do go. Sitting in the fancy VIP section while watching him warm up. You almost forgot he’s at Madrid now. Big leagues huh. 

He sends small waves your way in between exercises. And you only watch fondly.

When it's time for the actual match, you can't believe you get to watch him score. And he points right to you. 

You love him. Oh how you love him.

He finds you after it's all set and done. Kissing you silly while he ignores the hundreds of notifications that make his phone buzz and sputter on the table.

You frown, “who is that.”

He chews his lip, “prolly just the guys,” leaning back into your lips.

You're forced to part ways when the calls flood in, promising to see you soon when he takes care of things.

He doesn't come back to see you, instead leaving you to head back to your hotel alone. You try not to think too deeply into it. But you fear you are already starting to lose him. After everything really has passed and fizzled out to nothing but memories. You fear it's all too late. 

—--

You see him only once more during your stay in madrid. When youre all packed and leaving. He presses kisses to your skin whispering promises. And you believe him.

When you land back home you go back to your routine of watching him from afar. And again the replies shorten. So much so you only get the odd text every few weeks. Until it turns to months. And you're back to radio silence. 

It's almost a self pity party, trying to keep up with him. Even now that you can go see him, he can come see you, does he even want that anymore?

You crave to talk to him, to know him, to go back to the closeness you once shared. You know that's no longer your place in his life. You were someone he once treasured. Now you're another unanswered dm that lays in his inbox. 

Does it hurt you as much as it does him? You don't think so. Not when pictures of him on vacation with his “friends” surface. Who even are these people? You don't recognize a single face. It fills you with rage.

Almost like he's trying to erase his past life with this new squeaky clean image of the perfect player with the perfect life. Friends and all. 

Is he ashamed of you?

You fight the urge to call his mom and stir up trouble from the past. So instead you hunker down in your room and try to keep yourself busy and mind off of Jude. This turns out to be much easier said than done. 

—--

Jude finds himself in another after party, wearing clothes much too expensive to be getting champagne sprayed all over them. But what else can he do?

He crafted this image delicately. Can't turn back now. 

There's a woman who keeps whispering into his ear. She's not you. No matter how much his teammates howl and egg him on. He can't bring himself to do so much as face her.

He's not interested, gently moving her aside while he nurses his drink. 

She scoffs, calling him a slew of names. He frowns, excusing himself and making a beeline for the bathrooms. Locking himself inside a stall and leaning on its walls. 

He calls you. Of course he does. And you pick up.

“Hey Jude.” he can hear the smile in your voice.

“Hey love.”

“What's up?” 

He sighs, long and drawn out, “I just miss you.”

You snort, “really because it seems like you've been having a blast on beaches with people i've never heard of.”

Oh.

“It's not like that-”

“Jude. don't lie to me. If you've found someone else, tell me now.”

“I havent I swear. They really are just friends.”

“Why didn't you tell me you were going?” you whisper.

There's a beat of silence. And Jude can't find the answer. Looking at the ceiling of the club like it will magically come to life and give him just the right combination of words to make both of you happy. 

You sigh, “if we are going to make anything work I can't be out of the loop this much Jude. I can't know things after paparazzi do okay?”

“Okay,” he replies, meek. 

“Where even are you?” 

He licks his lips, “this after party thing.”

“Its in a club isn't it.”

He doesn't answer but it's confirmation nonetheless.

“Dont be stupid and start calling me more.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but you've already hung up. He rubs his eyes and head out the stall. Washing his hands and splashing some water on his face.

When he gets back out there, he decides to call it a night. Ignoring the groans and frowns he gets.

When he's back in bed. He's looking at flights to see you again. 

—--

Jude gets a call a few weeks later. 

It's right after he gets back from training. Hasn't even changed yet. 

The number is unknown and he ignores it the first time. Setting his phone on the dinning table and kicking his shoes off. 

When it calls back two more times he picks up. 

“Hello?” he scratches the back of his head. 

“You know why im calling.” its your father. 

Jude scrambles to take a seat, chewing his lips. What does he mean know why. He hasn't talked to you in a few days. 

“Um, I really don't know-” he gets cut off.

“This will be my last warning to you. You are not going to ruin my daughter's life i dont give a damn how old you are, how old she is. None of this player nonsense. She has a proper education. You aren't going to ruin that for her, do you understand?”

Silence. 

“I swear if I hear you coming around her or talking to her I will sue you and your whole family.”

The line goes dead and Jude sighs. Great. Just great. 

He calls his lawyer, seeing if it would be legal to sue. 

His lawyer hums, “well they can come at you from any angle really. Emotional distress possible defamation. Id lay low for now.”

So he does just that. Yet again going silent on you.

—--

He hears wind that people have put two and two together. Your instagram has been flooded with requests. You've always had it private but you've been forced to change your user name and picture.

You don't know how but pictures from when you saw him in Madrid have resurfaced. 

And have gone more than just viral. It's all people are talking about. 

Your work life has gone from just pleasantries and work only talk to people crowding around you begging to know more. You've had people show up to your workplace for god's sake. Begging to be let in so they can see you. 

Jude calls you, worried. “I'm so sorry I don't know how pics were even taken. I'm so sorry im so sorry.”

“I don't know what to do Jude i've never dealt with this kinda stuff.” you mumble.

“Hey, hey its okay. Ill get you in contact with a security company dont worry leave it to me.”

“Okay.”

“For now. I dont think ill be able to see you anytime soon.”

“Thats okay.”

“Be safe yeah?”

“Yeah.”

—--

Your family is in a complete uproar. They blame Jude. of course they do. Your father talks about suing him but you turn it down. 

“He didnt mean for this to happen.”

Your mother shakes her head, “this is why we told you to stay away from him.”

You dont regret any moments with him. 

It takes a while. A grueling few months for your life to finally go back to normal. But Jude rarely comes back like before.

You watch the months turn to years flashing by. Facetimes become a luxury of your past self. Calls are reserved for special occasions like an aged wine. Only brought out sparelily. You get one on your birthday but it feels forced. Heavy and filled with all too much silence. 

You've tried calling, texting. Rarely receiving the time of day. Who is Jude to you anymore? 

“Hey, “ he smiles. A picture perfect rehearsed one. You almost forgot what he sounded like when speaking to you. How long has it been now?

“Hi.” You mumble. 

“Happy birthday. Sorry I couldn’t be there.” 

You shrug, “it’s okay.”

Silence while you pick your nails. 

“Any plans?”

“I don’t know, maybe dinner with friends.”

“Oh Emily?”

You want to roll your eyes. You haven’t spoken to Emily in years.

“No Jude. We’re not in touch anymore. New friends I’ve met”

He mouths a silent “oh”. 

He wants to tell you why he's been gone for so long. But unfortunately he's caught up in a legal battle. Your father actually went ahead with it. And he's stuck trying to make sense of it.

The maniac got good lawyers. And he's using every last bit of the law to win it. Using the leaked pictures that caused you so much trouble as his main leverage. 

He's been advised not to talk to you. But it's your birthday. And now seeing you moved on, new friends, new life. It feels like it's time to let go. 

For your sake. He's only brought problems into your life. And you live a life now without him. He just hopes you're happy. 

—--

You see him once, passing by through the city center. You want to run after him, grab his shoulders and shake him awake, scream and yell, beg for him to remember your promise. But you do none of that. The second your gaze meets his, your heart leaps to your throat, you blink and he's gone.

You get a text from him a few days later, first since your birthday. 

Was nice seeing you.

You want to cry. What did he see? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It wasn't nice. Not at all. It was awful. It ripped any piece of sense out of you and made you sick. 

You dont reply. 

—--

You wish you had. He gets called to the national team, and suddenly your family begins to boast of your connection to him. And that's just it. Your connection. Not theirs. Yours. You know him, you love him. Or you knew him. 

After so many years of cursing his name now they all but sing it. 

The local community is hosting watch parties, you refuse to go. 

You know the gossip around you as is. You don't need it said to your face. These people are unforgiving on their best days, cruel on their worst. More so the older generation who seems to hold not an ounce of basic human decency. 

And somehow you find yourself in a room painted in blue and white, you look away at the stares you get when you walk in. You're regretting coming at all.  You're wearing a blank jersey you've had for a while, slumped in the corner of the room, watching. Waiting for the comments to pour in sooner or later. 

But they don't, not for now. Instead, the room erupts with cheers and applause as Jude scores a goal, you smile. Not bad for a midfielder huh. The air is electric with excitement, but you feel detached, as if you're watching the scene unfold from a distance, picking at the plate of sweets that rests on your knee. 

As the game progresses, you can't help but steal glances at Jude on the screen. He looks different now, more confident, more assured. He's cut his hair, clean and precise. And yet, there's a sadness in his eyes that mirrors your own.

You wonder if he thinks of you, if he remembers the promise he made all those years ago. Has it really been years? But the thought is fleeting, lost amidst the chaos of the crowd and the weight of your own heartache. And soon I have a headache. 

When the final whistle blows and England emerges victorious, the room erupts into celebration once again. But you slip out quietly, unnoticed, lost in your own thoughts.

Outside, the night air is cool against your skin as you make your way home. You're not waiting on anyone, and it's a short walk away. The streets are quiet, the sounds of celebration fading into the distance.

You pause for a moment, taking in the stillness of the night. And in that moment, you make a decision.

You may not have chased after him when you had the chance, but you refuse to let this be the end of your story. You refuse to let fear and doubt hold you back any longer. There is no use to let yourself be defined by what ifs. 

With a determined step, you pull out your phone and type out a message to Jude.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

It's a small gesture, but it's a start. And as you hit send, you feel a glimmer of hope stir within you.

Maybe, just maybe, this isn't goodbye after all. Maybe there's still a chance for the two of you to find your way back to each other, to rewrite the ending of your story.

But for now, all you can do is wait. Wait for his reply, wait for the future to unfold, and wait for the day when you can finally be together again, without fear or hesitation. In a way he'll always be your Jude. 

——

News reaches you in the form of an instagram post on a summer day.  Not family, not friends, not him. It’s your explore page that plasters it on your screen, in the middle of your morning routine you see him all tidied up in a suit, facing away from the camera, the side of his face illuminated by soft light. Next to his side is a woman in white, you only see a peek of her face but you call tell shes smiling. 

“Just married.”

Married. Just. Married. 

Oh. 

You don't register it at first, the words looking more like a foreign language than any coherent sentence. So you finish brushing your teeth and your hair. Moisturizing your face, slipping back into bed and rereading it over and over and over again till it finally does click for you.

He gave up on waiting.

You keep going back to the picture. He's grown into a proper man now. His features are full and bright. He's gotten a different haircut. Leaving behind the one of his youth. You read through the comments of teammates and old friends congratulating him. 

You realize the tie he's wearing is the one his dad got him when he first left for dortmund. You think you're gonna be sick. 

No one bothers to ask why you've been crying all day. It's safe to assume everyone knows by now, hell the whole population probably does. 

What changed his mind? What made it that he couldn't even bother to let you know beforehand?

And yet there's a stupid prick of hope that can't seem to go away. You're still waiting for him aren't you. 

—--

As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into months, the reality of his marriage settles heavily on your shoulders. You can't help but wonder if he thinks of you, if he remembers the promises made under the stars, if he regrets the choice he made. But you push those thoughts aside, burying them deep within you, because what good would they do?

A sick twisted idea of wrecking his home blooms in your mind, but you know you can't. You just can't. Not to him. You can't take away something like this from him. 

Life goes on, as it always does, but the ache in your chest remains, a constant reminder of what could have been. You try to distract yourself with work, with friends, with anything that will keep your mind from wandering back to him. Yet, he's always there, lingering in the back of your thoughts like stardust. 

You hear snippets of his life through mutual acquaintances, through social media posts, through the grapevine of gossip that always seems to find its way to you. He's thriving, it seems, his career reaching new heights, his personal life seemingly content. Apparently he has a kid on the way, would you look at that. And you can't help but feel a pang of jealousy. To top it all off you still have no clue on who this woman is. Not who she is, what she does, where she's from. Absolutely nothing, it drives you mad to say the least. 

He hasn't spoken to you. Not since that day in the city center. 

Maybe if you would have known all that was to come you would've gone after him. Chasing him endlessly through cobblestone stress and crowded walkways. Would he have even stopped? Given you a moment of his day?

The same man who spent his days off in your apartment kissing your worries away and promising you a tomorrow you still cling to. 

You're a foolish foolish woman. And for some reason, you don't hate him. You don't think you ever could. Even after everything, every single year that's passed. A part of you will always love him. 

—--

[roturo]

✒ LOML ⋆⭒˚.⋆ (geto's version)

⋆⭒˚.⋆ sypnosis: You and Suguru Geto were once inseparable, bound by shared dreams and laughter. As time passed, the warmth of those days faded into distant echoes, leaving behind only the haunting traces of a love that once was. Feeling the touch of someone closer made you feel real again. But nothing lasts forever, right?

warnings: smut, unprocteted sex, angst, widow!reader, cult!geto suguru, mentions of ptsd, mentions of death, time passes, soulmate!geto suguru, reader x gojo satoru, mentions of past, let me know if i missed smt.

A/N: okay so, i just broke my back at dance but dw guys i just finished this request so i'll upload it, that means it’s npr— i dont know if yall will get my idea but i made a try, reblog and leave a comment for support !

The bell rang, reminding you how you felt once at the end of another day at Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School. Amid the crowd of other sorcerers streaming out of the classrooms, you and Suguru Geto stood out as high school sweethearts. You were inseparable, sharing laughs, secrets, and dreams of a future together. Your friends always snickered about when you would marry and have kids. Gojo claimed he would love to see a mini version of yourself and… well, his best friend.

Years passed, and true to the bets, you and Suguru were married in a small, intimate ceremony surrounded by friends and loved ones. The months that followed were filled with joy and love, building a life together that you had once only dreamed of.

But life has a way of taking unexpected turns. As Suguru delved deeper into the world of curses and his cursed technique, his views began to shift. He started to question the very fabric of the world, why he should risk his life to save his and yours, just because of some dumb curses humans create by bringing evil into this world.

"Suguru, what's happening to you?" you asked one evening, your voice stern with concern. He had been distant lately, his once warm eyes now cold and calculating.

"I'm becoming something greater," he replied, his tone flat and emotionless but his face was displaying a sophisticated smirk. "A savior for the sorcerers of this world."

"W-what do you mean?" you asked. "What about the plans we made before getting married?"

Suguru turned to you, a flicker of the old him flashing in his eyes at the memories before it disappeared with a tilt of his head to the side. "We were just kids, babe," he said, almost dismissively with a smile. "Those were dreams of a different time. Ever since I stopped relating to the jujutsu society and more with people of our kind, I finally understand the real meaning of this world and us in it."

“I don’t mind, it takes time, Suguru.”

“You and I went from one kiss to getting married and you think I wouldn’t do this for our world? Our kind? For us?!”

His words cut deep, a painful reminder of the widening chasm between you. Despite your attempts to reach him, Suguru continued down his dark path, growing more entangled in his cult and his delusions of grandeur. The man you had fallen in love with seemed to vanish, replaced by a stranger who saw himself as a legendary figure, destined to reshape the world.

One night, after another heated argument, you woke up startled from another bad dream. He stood before you, a shadow of his former self. "I'm doing this for us, for a better world," he insisted.

He used to think you were better safe than starry-eyed. But you have never felt aglow—never before and never since.

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face unconsciously. "No, Suguru. You're doing this for yourself. You're not the man I married."

He paused, looking at you with a mixture of anger and sadness. "Maybe you're right. But it's too late to change now."

The anguish in his voice was almost too much to bear. You reached out, hoping to find a trace of the boy you once knew, but you couldn’t touch him, every time he felt even farther away from you.

"Suguru, please," you whispered, your voice breaking. "We can still fix this. We can go back to how things were."

He shook his head slowly. "No, we can't. We've come too far. But remember what I said last time? I will never let this get in the way of yo—of us. You’re the love of my life.”

His words echoed in the empty space between you, a final, bitter nail in the coffin of your once bright future. As you blinked and gained full consciousness after waking up, you felt a part of yourself break, knowing that the man you loved was lost to a darkness you couldn't understand or see.

And yet, here you were, standing alone in the ruins of what once was, clutching the shards of a dream that had shattered beyond repair. The emptiness inside you grew, consuming the remnants of hope you clung to, leaving behind an ache that seemed to echo in the hollow spaces of your heart.

He was gone, but his ghost lingered, a painful reminder of the love that was and the love that could never be again.

He wasn’t there anymore, was he?

Holy ghost, he told you he was the love of your life. 

About a million times.

Years later, as you stood alone in the quiet of your home, now a dorm back in the school buildings as you decided to work for those sorcerers who started feeling like your loved one, you reflected on the boy you had once loved and the man he had become. The memories of your high school days seemed like a distant dream, a time when you were just kids, full of hope and promise.

The room was dimly lit, the air thick with unspoken emotions. Your breaths and moans mingled, hot and desperate, as Gojo's lips traced a path down your neck while humping his hard cock on the slippery sweet cunt of yours. His touch was familiar, yet foreign, as if you were trying to grasp a memory that slipped through your fingers like sand.

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be swept away in the moment. You could feel Gojo's need in the way he whispered your name, like he was asking for permission for something, or… someone. His voice, usually so confident and teasing, held a whine that made your heart ache with a confusing blend of longing and sorrow.

His hands roamed over your body with a practiced ease, yet every touch felt like a plea, a silent question of whether this could ever be enough. His lips traced familiar paths down your neck and across your collarbone, igniting sparks that threatened to consume you whole. 

Once he finally thrust inside you, both of you moaned out loud and made you open your eyes with a blurry sight, contemplating his dark hair falling on your face while he moved within you. A feeling of completeness invaded your tummy as you whimpered when he touched that spot inside of you.

“Please,” you whispered, but it sounded like a desperate call to the ghost of your past. The reality of the present and the memory of the past blurred, creating a disorienting whirlpool of emotions. “I got it baby… just– Mhm-I”  The touch felt so good and… right. You lost yourself in the feeling as tears started drowning your eyes in a mix of emotions.

Gojo's grip tightened as he felt your tears, his whispered name of yours almost a chant, a plea wrapped in longing and regret. The confusion of your feelings deepened—did he really say your name?

You looked back at him, his cold but reassuring black purplish eyes invading the light coming from the lamp as it was the only thing that shined for you. The way his hair fell, the curve of his lips as he groaned, it all felt too familiar and too alien at once. Your climax and his were getting closer, moans escalating in volume as you both sought a release that felt more like an escape.

When your impressionist paintings of Heaven turned out to be fakes, it was as if the vibrant colors of your love had faded into a monochrome nightmare. You had been sold a get-love-quick scheme, and the ink bled into a mess of confusion and heartache.

As you finally reached your high with a shared kiss, Gojo cleaned you up in silence and gave you a water bottle. It was over. You lay there, entwined in Gojo’s arms, feeling his hair cover a part of his chest as you leaned down your head on it.

When you woke up, the morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow on the room. You were naked, tangled in the sheets, Gojo's arm still draped over you. The events of the night before replayed in your mind, and the stark reality hit you like a punch to the gut. It hadn't been him; it was never him.

You had been digging up the past, trying to revive a love that was long dead. The realization washed over you, cold and unforgiving. You should've let it stay buried. The feelings you were trying to resurrect were entombed with the boy you once loved, and no amount of closeness with Gojo could bring them back to life.

The night had been a cruel reminder that some ghosts could never be laid to rest, and the void left by his absence was one that Gojo could never fill.

As you stared out at the morning light coming through the window, you knew that you had to find a way to move forward, even if it meant leaving the past behind. The touch of Gojo's arms around you, once comforting, now felt like chains binding you to memories you could never escape. The warmth of his body next to yours only highlighted the cold emptiness within, a void that grew larger with every passing moment.

The room, now bathed in the soft glow of dawn, felt like a cage. Each shadow seemed to whisper the name of the boy you had lost, each ray of light a painful reminder of a future that would never be. You could still feel the echo of his touch on your skin, a ghostly caress that lingered long after the night had ended.

Gojo stirred beside you, his arm tightening around your waist in a sleepy embrace. You glanced back at him, his serene expression a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within you. He had tried to fill the void, to be the light in your darkness, but the shadows of the past were too strong, too overwhelming.

You gently extricated yourself from his grasp, moving silently to avoid waking him. As you stood by the window, the first rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds, you felt a tear slip down your cheek. It was a tear for the love you had lost, for the boy who had once been your world, and for the man who now lay beside you, trying to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart.

The realization was stark and unforgiving: no matter how much you tried to move forward, the past would always be a part of you, a haunting reminder of what could have been. And as the morning light washed over you, you knew that the journey ahead would be long and painful, but it was a path you had to walk alone.

With a deep breath, you turned away from the window, determination settling in your heart. The ghosts of the past would always linger, but you had to find a way to live with them, to find peace in the midst of the storm. And maybe, just maybe, you would find a way to heal.

“Suguru,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper, “promise me something.”

Suguru’s gaze softened as he looked at you, his eyes reflecting the last rays of the setting sun. “Anything,” he replied, his tone sincere and tender.

“Promise me you’ll never put anyone or anything above us,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “That we’ll always come first.”

Suguru took your hands in his, his touch warm and reassuring. “I’ll never leave,” he said, his voice unwavering. “Nothing and no one will ever come between us. You’re my everything.”

You felt a wave of relief wash over you, his words wrapping around your heart like a protective shield. His lips curved into a gentle smile, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “I promise,” he murmured. “I’ll always be here for you. We’re in this together.”

The moment felt eternal, a promise etched in the quiet of the twilight. As you nestled against him, the world outside seemed to vanish, leaving only the certainty of Suguru’s words and the warmth of his embrace. You closed your eyes, letting the peaceful promise settle deep within you, trusting that no matter what challenges lay ahead, his commitment would remain steadfast.

In that perfect, fleeting moment, you believed with all your heart that Suguru’s promise was unbreakable.

The memories of his promises, once a source of solace, now felt like daggers, each one twisting deeper into your heart. “I’ll never leave,” he had promised. And yet, here you were, alone, with the emptiness where his presence used to be. The truth was inescapable: Suguru had left, and his promises had been nothing more than comforting words, hollow and unfulfilled.

The room seemed to close in on you, the silence amplifying the ache in your chest. You could still feel the ghost of his touch, the warmth of his embrace, but it was all a cruel illusion, a mirage that had vanished with his departure. “Never mind,” you said to yourself in a breathless chuckle, trying to hide the pain your chest felt, the realization hitting you with a cold, harsh clarity. All those promises were just words—a fleeting comfort that had crumbled to dust.

You buried your face in your hands, tears streaming down your cheeks, each one a testament to the love you had lost. The future you had once envisioned with Suguru was nothing more than a shattered dream, a vision that had dissolved into the stark reality of his absence.

The pain was almost unbearable, the weight of his betrayal settling heavily on your shoulders. You had been left to pick up the pieces, to grapple with the knowledge that the love you had cherished was now a ghost of the past. And as the darkness of the room closed in around you, you knew that the journey to heal from this loss would be long and fraught with heartache.

In the silence of the night, you felt the full force of Suguru’s absence, a painful truth settled within you with the weight of an unbearable burden. “Shit,” you whispered to the empty room, the words trembling on your lips as if they carried the weight of a thousand broken dreams. The room seemed to absorb your sorrow, its silence amplifying the ache in your heart. Each breath felt labored, the air thick with the heavy, oppressive realization of Suguru’s absence.

The absence of his presence was like a gaping wound that no amount of time or consolation could ever heal. His laughter, once so familiar and comforting, was now a distant echo that haunted the corners of your mind. The love you had cherished, so vibrant and full of promise, was now a ghostly whisper, a reminder of what once was but could never be again. The memories, once a source of warmth, now felt like cold, unyielding shadows that only deepened the chasm within you.

The pain was almost unbearable, each moment a torment as you faced the stark reality of Suguru’s departure. The void he left behind was a vast and insurmountable chasm, a darkness that seemed to stretch on endlessly. It was a wound so profound that no amount of time or effort could ever hope to mend it. You tried to imagine a future without him, but every thought seemed to fall short, every hope tarnished by the cruel reality of his absence.

No matter how hard you tried, you knew that the echoes of your shared past would never fully fade. The journey ahead would be marked by the persistent shadow of what you had lost. Each step forward felt weighed down by the remnants of Suguru’s memory, a constant reminder of the love that had slipped through your fingers like sand. The future you once envisioned, full of hope and promise, was now a mirage, forever out of reach.

As the darkness of the room closed in around you, you felt the full force of Suguru’s absence. The silence was deafening, a stark contrast to the warmth and intimacy that once defined your life together. The realization that the loss of him was a scar that would remain with you forever settled heavily upon you. It was a mark that no amount of time or healing could ever truly erase, a reminder that some wounds are too deep, too profound, to ever be fully healed.

In the quiet of the night, with the shadows stretching long and dark, you felt the weight of Suguru’s absence more acutely than ever. The pain was a constant companion, a relentless reminder of the love that had once been your everything but was now a haunting, unending loss. The room, filled with the echoes of what once was, bore witness to the depth of your grief, a silent testament to the enduring impact of Suguru’s departure on your heart and soul.

And as you sat in the suffocating silence, grappling with the emptiness that had consumed your world, you could only utter one final, heart-wrenching truth: “You’re the loss of my life.”

[absolutelyhugh3s]

michigan maize | ee73

ethan edwards x reader!

more loosely based song fics!! this one is tennessee orange by megan moroney

thank you guys so so much for all the love and support on forever and ever!!! y’all seriously don’t understand how much it means to me!! i love every single one of you <33

word count: 1.13k (not my gif!)

“hi munchkin! how are you doing?” my mothers honey-like voice filled my ears as she answered my call.

oh god, i'm really doing this.

“hi mama” i smiled even though she couldn’t see me “im good”

“i've got some news” i said nervously, clenching the comforter of my bed in my fist.

“oh honey is everything alright?” her slight chicago accent peaking through.

“dont worry im doing okay, just please dont tell dad?” i pleaded with my mother.

“y/n did something happen?” she asked worriedly.

“yes mama. he’ll blow a fuse if he found out” my father wasn’t big on me going to the umich. being the coach of msu hockey, he wanted me to go there.

but when i received an amazing scholarship to play lacrosse, i had to take it.

the first thing he told me when i left for school was “don't run off with any of those hockey boys y/n, they are very bad news.”

well, he’s clearly never met ethan.

“i know you raised me to know right from wrong, but god he makes it so hard” i chuckle “he?” my mother questions.

“i met somebody mama, hes brunette, and he's got these big brown eyes, and he opens the door for me everywhere i go!” 

ethan and y/n go on small date’s every wednesday night. its an awkward time for some, but for them, its the only time in their busy schedules that they can be together.

today, their date night was dressing up super fancy (as barbie and ken of course) seeing the barbie movie, and eating at a small diner a few blocks from the movie theater.

ethan had planned out the entire thing and the couple had a blast. once ethan had driven her back to her on campus apartment, she thanked the older boy, kissed him goodbye and began to exit the car.

“WAIT” ethan yelled. he jumped up out of the drivers seat, exiting the car and running around to open his girlfriend’s car door. “ok now you can go” he smiled

the small action made the girl melt like a snowman in summer. the defenseman than sprinted to the main door of her apartment complex, opening that for her as well.

“m’lady” he held out a hand as y/n walked through the door a blushing mess. he than took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers, leading her up to her apartment.

though the action was so little, it made her fall in love with him more and more every day.

“he just makes me so happy! hes like perfectly perfect! god! i've never felt this way mama!” i ramble.

“hun” my mother chuckles. “whats his name?” i then realize i left out the most important part “ethan! ethan edwards! mama you would love him” i smiled.

“but back home id be sinning” the smile fades slightly from my face. “why is that dear?” it seems as though she could hear what was going though my mind.

“mama, hes got me wearing maize and blue for him” i sarcastically laughed. 

“you should come to my game tomorrow” ethan said, running his hands through the ends of the y/h/c girls hair.

“the boys would love to see you, plus i get to have my own little good luck charm in the stands” the boy smiled like a small child at the girl laying on his chest.

“really?” she looked up at the brown haired boy with big doe eyes. “yes really” he grinned.

“here” he moved the smaller girl off of his chest to stand up from his bed.

he rummages through his closet, looking for a specific item of clothing.

suddenly a large yellow piece of fabric is thrown at her “you can even wear my jersey” he smiles.

the girl holds it up a large ‘edwards 73’ stares at her. “you know what e? i think i will”

“oh hes an athlete?” my mom says, surprised.

“yeah hekindasortamaybeplayshockey” i rush out, nervous of what my mother would say.

“im gonna need you to slow down y/n/n” she chuckles

“he plays hockey mama. he had me wearing his jersey at a msu game! of course i want the spartans to win but still! his smile! oh his smile! it makes me forget i look better in green!” i gush about my boyfriend.

“so thats why you didnt want your father to know” my mom teases, clearly finding enjoyment in this entire situation.

“oh please forgive me mama, i like him a lot” i beg “oh i think its a lot more than like sweetheart” my mom says. “what?”

“oh honey you are head over heels for ethan” she laughs “i've known for ten minutes and i can tell” 

“oh god im in love with a wolverine!” i exclaim.

“babygirl its ok! the worlds not gonna end! growing up in chicago i said i would never date a red wings fan, guess what? i married one!” she laughs.

“so you’re not mad?” i asked hesitantly.

“of course not y/n! its my job as your mother to always be supportive of you” i could tell she was smiling though the phone.

i talked with my mother for a while longer about random stuff for about another half hour. “mama i have to go, ethan should be here in a few minutes” i say.

“alright sweetie, invite him home would ya?” my mother asks. “of course mama, i love you” “i love you too sweet girl, bye bye”

i clean things up for about ten minutes when i hear a knock at my apartment door.

“you can come in e!” i shout. “ok!” he shouts back before walking in.

i put the last few dishes in the cabinet when i feel two muscular arms snake around my waist and a face bury into the crook of my neck.

“hi baby” he mumbles, tightening his hold on my waist.

“hi e” i giggled. “guess what i did today” i added.

“hmm climbed mount everest?” “nope” “slayed a dragon?” “nope” “killed someone?” “god no!”

“i told my mom about us” i smiled. ethans parents have known for a few weeks now about us, but he didnt wanna push me to tell mine. he wanted me to be comfortable with doing it myself.

ethan spins me around, his hands steading my hips. “you did?” he smiles.

“i did” i mirror his smile. the much larger boy then pulls me into the tightest hug possible.

“im so proud of you baby” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

“i have a question though” i place my chin on his sternum so im looking up at ethan. “whats up love?”

“what are you doing for spring break?”

[williamandmichaelendgame]

Byler and The Imitation Game

My native language is not english so i hope you understand everything🥰.

So we all know the poster from Will in S4 was about Alan Turing and i found the movie ,,The Imitation Game” and i watched it, and it was very interesting for byler and mileven.

So at first Alan was gay and saved 14 Million lives and shortened the ww2 around 2 years.

Alan was also inlove with his bestfriend, Christopher.

( on the left side is Christopher and on the right Alan)

So he needed to crack the german enigma in year 1939 and he wanted to see if anyone can crack a puzzle under 6 minutes, and a lady, Joan, was late and she argued with a man. So Alan went to her and said something like ,,you can sit down”. She argued with the man, because he thought that she didn’t cracked the puzzle all by herself, because they needed to also crack a puzzle before they crack the other puzzle, and she was a woman,thats why the man thought she could not do it all by herself, it was during WW2.

I think it’s like El and Mike, Mike trusted El and let her to his house, but we all know Lucas and Dustin didn’t like her. So we can imagine like Dustin and Lucas are the men who doesnt like women and Mike like Alan liked her and let her to his house and like Alan gave her a chance to crack this puzzle even if she was a woman.

Now we go to Alan’s school time, he was bullied for being ,,different”. But he had help from his best friend, Christopher. One day they were under a tree, Christopher read a book. And Alan was interested, so Christopher thought that he would like it too. And then they shared a cute smile and i think that was the moment Alan realized his feelings for Christopher. And then they had a math class and shared letters and Christopher wrote something like ,,See you in two long weeks, my dearest friend”🥰🥰. And after that two weeks Alan wrote ,,i love you” and he waited for him, but he never came back, because he died of his illness.

I think in ST are letters romantic, like here, but i mean not every letter is romantic. But i don‘t think mike knows that he loves him, because i think he would like get distance himself from Will. Because i think we all think that mike has internalized homophobia, but i mean he will notice it in S5.

Okay so now we come back to Alan and Joan, so she cracked the puzzle under 6 minutes and i mean they liked eachother, but Joan had to leave,because her parents wanted her back and because she had no husband. So Alan had the idea to marry her, and they did.

So what do you think? I think Mike forced himself to get into a relationship like Alan for a reason, maybe because he’s gay or what i think he ,,loved” her in the moment were she wore nancys dress or just another reason idk. We don’t know what he thought or felt. He just looked at her and said ,,pretty”. Idk but the duffers will hopefully explain what he thought or felt.

And after Alan was engaged with her, they were at a party and a friend of Alan asked Joan to dance with him and they did, then Alan smiled at them but it faded away and a friend sat next to him and he said ,,what’s the matter?” Alan said ,,what if- what if i don’t fancy being with joan that way”😟 and then the friend said ,,because you’re a homosexual?” And Alan said ,,i care about her, i truly do,i just dont know if i can pretend…”😱

We all know mike said to Eleven ,,i care about you so much” and i think this scene from Alan was inspired from it.

And now a good one, they ,,broke up” because Alan said he is gay, but she said ,,i had my suspicions, but i care about you and i know you care about me” and idk i never saw a post about it but in S3 eleven said to max ,,how do i know what i like?” LIKE WHAT😭 how do you know what you love when you don’t even know what you like and it was just about clothing?

And Alan said that he was never alone, because he said to his Computer, Christopher and after he cracked enigma, he took his Computer, Christopher home with him.

,,I think it‘ll be easier if we’re a team. Friends. Best Friends.” So Mike and Will are working together. Like Alan and Christopher just that Christopher is his Computer😓.

And omg im sorry i dont have structure😭 i just saw Joan and Alan danced together but they were not inlove😭

Like El and Mike they danced together🤔

And thats a really good one omg💀 Alan said ,, what if- what if i don’t fancy being with joan that way” and Will also said ,,what if- what if they don’t like the truth?” And mike nods💀and when Alan said ,,what if- what if” he didn’t stuttered it was just a break like Will.So i think maybe what Alan said is that what mike think or is like an answer to Will’s question.

But ik it doesn’t mean that Alan Turing is like Mikes story, it’s just inspiring, from a gay icon🥰. Maybe El and Mike they were in love somehow, because i think it’s difficult to explain it,but i mean i think the duffers have also their own ideas and get inspired from other movies/shows.But that they are not inspired from this movie, i would say it’s impossible 😭 See how many things are like the same. Me personally i think that’s why it’s real because Mike is very big maybe (it’s obvious) inspired from Alan so yeah.

[animesimp-writes]

YO, YO, YO! (Billy referred.) Hope your having a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night Mel! Could you write a Luffy x fem! Reader fic? Like They're making jokes on the deck of the thousand sunny while the rest of the crew is asleep, and Luffy calls Y/N pretty and stuff, and then confesses, saying that Robin and Nami told him he was in love with her after describing how he felt about Y/N?

If you don't want to write it, thats okay (bc I dont know if you write for other fandoms) but stay safe and stay hydrated! :)

-Anon <3

# Summary ; Late one night aboard the Thousand Sunny, Y/N and Luffy find themselves alone, sharing jokes and laughter under the stars. As the conversation takes a sincere turn, Luffy surprises Y/N by telling her she's pretty and confessing that Nami and Robin pointed out he might be in love with her. Realizing his feelings are true, Y/N admits she feels the same, if not more. Before she can fully express herself, Luffy kisses her, sealing their mutual affection with a sweet and tender moment.

# Notes ; Heyy!! I LOVE One Piece, its my favorite anime for years <3 It's my first time writing a fic instead of headcanons ON TUNBLR so I'll do my best :D Also, yes, I am writing for other fandoms, so please don't be shy to request. And sorry for being away for so long, I just needed some time for school and I honestly forgot about this account and had to study since I'm going to high school in a few months. Wish me luck!!

Late at night, the Thousand Sunny drifted peacefully under a blanket of stars. The gentle rocking of the ship kept the Straw Hat Pirates lulled in a deep sleep. Everyone, that is, except for Luffy and you.

You were sitting next to him on the deck, the night air cool against your skin. The only sounds around were the occasional creaks of the ship and the soft lapping of the ocean against the hull.

"Y/N, you know, I think I could eat a thousand meat skewers in one sitting!" Luffy said with a wide grin, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

You chuckled softly, shaking your head. "Luffy, I believe you could do it. But how would you even fit that much food in your stomach?"

He laughed, the sound warm and carefree, and you couldn't help but laugh along with him. The way he made everything seem so simple and joyful was one of the many things you loved about him. For what seemed like hours, the two of you exchanged jokes, stories, and silly banter. Luffy was on a roll, saying the most random things to keep you laughing. But as you waited for him to crack another joke, his expression softened. His gaze settled on you, and the intensity in his eyes caught you off guard.

"You're really pretty, Y/N," Luffy said suddenly, his voice quiet, but sincere.

You blinked, a little taken aback by the shift in tone. "W-What?" you stammered, feeling your cheeks warm as you processed his words. "Why would you say that all of a sudden?"Luffy rubbed the back of his neck, his usual confident demeanor now tinged with something more thoughtful. "Well, Nami and Robin were talking to me the other day. They said that when I described how I feel about you, it means I’m in love with you. And I think they’re right… 'cause I’m always thinking about you, and I like being around you more than anyone else."

Your heart skipped a beat. Hearing those words from Luffy, who was always so focused on his adventures and dreams, made your chest tighten with happiness. You glanced down at your hands, fidgeting nervously, trying to find the right words to tell him that you felt the same way. "Luffy, I… I feel the same," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe even more than you could imagine..."

Before you could finish your sentence, you felt a gentle touch on your chin. Luffy had leaned in closer, lifting your head with his hand. Your eyes met his, and in that moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. Without another word, Luffy closed the distance between you, pressing his lips softly against yours. The kiss was simple, sweet, and filled with all the emotions you both had been holding back. Your eyes fluttered closed as you melted into the kiss, your heart racing in your chest.

When he finally pulled away, Luffy's smile was the brightest you'd ever seen. "I think I like kissing you too," he said with a chuckle.

You giggled, your cheeks flushed, feeling a mixture of joy and relief. "Me too, Luffy… me too."

GAHHH!! I loved it so much, hope you guys do to! If you want more like this, drop a request in my "Ask Me Anything" hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your day, bye! <3

[bedoballoons]

hii !! i was wondering if you could do a request for me. so xiao's really stressed and reader character: xiao scenario: calls him multiple times but he doesnt come, so when he actually comes, he complains and makes the reader cry and leave him. genre: angst (if you can, can you add fluff in the end where xiao apologizes? its fine if you dont !!) i was craving for some angst and at the end some fluff because i need more fluff i swear im going insane because of angst its fine if you dont do this, but if you do, i would really appreciate it !!

Of course I can write a request for you!! I won't lie though...I thought this was a smut request at first 😭 forgive my dirty mind. Anyway, thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️

Xiao X Reader

{༻~You didn't show up...~༺}

CW: GN! Reader! Angst to fluff, some yelling and a worried reader, apologies at the end!

𑁍༄Xiao:

You sighed anxiously, looking at the clock...you'd already called three times and Xiao was still no where to be seen. You knew he was probably busy, but he'd always said he'd answer your call...just say his name and he'd appear...so why wasn't he? You tried not to think the worst...but considering he was the last remaining Yaksha, the rest all dying in such horrible ways...it wasn't hard to start worrying about him.

What if his karmic debt had caught up to him? What if he'd met a foe even he couldn't beat? What if he'd been injured badly...and couldn't make it to you?

You bit your lip, feeling your heart start to race with fear, what would you even do? Go to Zhongli? The other adeptus?? Panick began to set in, his name slipping from your lips over and over, "Xiaooo! Xiao!" He had to answer, if he didn't you'd have to go find someone and ask for help...that was the plan, "Xia-"

You paused mid sentence as he suddenly appeared in front of you, the soft teal glow of his powers fading away to reveal that he was okay and in truth, it was like seeing a angel, relief washing over you in waves. "Oh my gosh, there you are I was so worried, I thought youd-"

"Enough. Stop calling me, you aren't in danger, there's no one attacking you and I'm tired of hearing your insistent voice in my head. I'm trying to protect Liyue as I'm supposed to, accomplish what I must everyday and I don't need you bothering me while I do so." He shot you a glare...and watched as the emotions painted on your features went dark, your relieved smile wiped away. He knew it was harsh, he knew what he said was wrong...he loved your voice, he loved knowing he had someone at home...hoping he was okay...worrying about him. Hed, just gotten a little too stressed.

"I-im sorry...I was worried something had happened to you...I'm sorry." You felt your chest getting tighter as you tried to hold back your tears, but they fell anyway...rolling down your cheeks as Xiao watched you...guilt already bubbling in his stomach. "Wait...I didn't mean to-"

You stepped away from him, wishing you hadn't been such a nuisance...and before you knew it, you were running, out the door...across the fields. Running until you felt tired...and alone enough to cry in peace, or so you thought. Somehow you'd forgotten he could simply appear next to you, you could run as far as you'd like and he'd be there in seconds...even when you didn't want him to.

"Xiao, I'm sor-"

"Don't apologize when you have nothing to apologize for. You were just worried and I overreacted...I should never have raised my voice at you, talked to you the way that I did. I'm sorry. It will never happen again."

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧

[kpop---scenarios]

Charmer (6)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader x Chan

Genre: FWB, EX FWB

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 1.4k

Taglist: @oddracha @iovecb97 @katsukis1wife @stay-tiny-things @rubytakemyhandx23 @hyunjinhoexxx @iikxstcenn @beebee18 @kissesmellow21 @skzooluvr @felixthemochicat @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @yaorzu-blog @jisunglyricist @lunearta @changbinismymuscledaddy @minh0scat @minnieprincess85

@easypeezylemonsquezy @gloriajovicc @jiminssluttyminx

Previous Chapters

“So.” Chan starts as the two of you walk into his apartment. “What do you want to do?” He asks.

“In general.. or?” You half chuckle. You knew what he meant, but you weren't quite sure how to answer his question yet.

Chan laughs. “About him.. Minho. What do you want to do? Are you done with him? Because if you're ready and willing I'm here for you. But if you're not ready to let go, then I'm going to have to remove myself from the situation.” He explains.

You completely understood. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, there is a good chance you wouldn't have stuck around if a man had told you what you told Chan. He was a good guy and you really liked him. But you absolutely needed to be done with Minho, and this is your chance. It's now or never.

“I'm done. I can't keep doing this with him. It's exhausting and I really like you. I'd like to see where this goes.” You smile.

“I was hoping you'd say that.” He grins. He walks towards you, his hand sliding to the back of your head, pulling you in closer to him. His lips gently press against yours, you smile into the kiss, wrapping your arms around him.

A few hours later, Chan drops you off at home, giving you one last sweet kiss before waiting for you to walk into your apartment before he leaves. You couldn't stop smiling. This..this is what you wanted to have with Minho. It’s how you dreamed that Minho would eventually treat you but you have now realized that it’s not how your life is going to end up working out. As you’re getting a glass of water, you’re brought out of your thoughts at the sound of rapid knocking at your front door. Your smile quickly fades as you open your front door, seeing Minho standing there, a smile plastered on his face.

“What?” you ask, not opening the door any further than you had too.

“That’s not a very warm welcome.” he chuckles. “Can I come in?” he asks.

“No you can’t. What do you want, Minho?” you sigh. You were worried, the longer he was around you and the longer he used those sweet words he usually spews, you usually gave in and you didn’t want that to happen this time. You were ready to be done with him and the last thing you needed was for you to get swept up under his spell again.

“What’s wrong with you today?” he asks. “You never tell me I can't come in. Why are you so mad at me?” he asks.

“Have you completely forgotten about what happened at the beach and what you said to me?” you scoff.

Minho chuckles. “I was joking! I would have assumed you would have known that.” he says. “We’re always joking around.”

“That wasn’t a joke, MInho. You were so fucking rude, no not even rude, you were just plain mean and honestly, you’ve made me realize how much I actually don’t want to be around you, I dont want to be involved with you in any way shape or form. I’m so done, it’s not even funny.” you explain.

“I was jealous.” Minho sighs. “I hated seeing you with him, I could feel rage burning inside me when I watched you sitting there, talking with him, laughing, eating, all of it. I just kept thinking that it should have been me with you there, not him.” Minho yells.

“You have a very poor way of showing it.” you scoff. “This is exhausting, you’re exhausting. Everything is so back and forth with you. You want me, you don’t want me, you want to fuck me, but i’m no one special. You can’t make up your mind and I'm getting dizzy running in circles trying to figure out where we stand. So let me make it very easy for you. We are done. Were not friends with benefits, frankly were not fucking friends, i’m not sure if we ever even were.” You finish.

“Y/N.. you don’t really mean that.” he half smiles.

“Yeah, I really do. I like Chan. I like how he treats me, I like that he wants to be with me and not just use me..” you pause.

“Let me explain.. All of it.” he says, trying to come inside.

“No. I’m tired of hearing your explanations. They don’t mean shit. You keep telling me things and then spin an entirely different narrative to other people. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m not good enough for you. Chan makes me feel like I’m on top of the world and you make me feel like I’m in the deepest pits of hell.”

“Why.. why haven’t you said this to me before?” Minho asks, hanging his head down.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You yell. “How many times have we had this same fucking conversation? Just go, Minho. Forget about me, be with Jennie, live a happy life and treat her right.” you finish, closing the door before he can answer. You let out a loud, deep breath as you slide down the door, sitting on the floor, tears streaming down your face.

You knew that you needed to do that, and you felt relieved, but why did it hurt so fucking much right now?

You wanted to call Chan, but you weren’t sure if that was the best idea. Instead, you grabbed your phone, walked over to your room and got changed. Even though it was only 9pm, you weren't really up for doing much, so you spent the next hour scrolling through your phone hoping for sleep to take you soon, but it didn't come. Instead, you remember the gym membership you had bought a few months ago with plans to reinvent yourself, but that never ended up happening. However, here you were, at 2am, getting ready to get in a good workout to hopefully help you sleep. You grab your bag and water bottle, leaving your apartment, your foot kicks something as you go to lock your door. You look down, seeing Minho slouched against the wall next to your door, his legs spread as he softly snores.

“What the fuck.” You whisper. Do you wake him up? Or do you leave him? You roll your eyes, deciding to leave him. You pull out your phone on your short walk to the gym, dialing Chan’s number.

“Hello?” He answers, happily.

“Did I wake you?” You ask, biting your nail, forgetting it was the middle of the night.

“Nope.” He chuckles. “I was just hanging out with some of the guys.”

“I'm sorry for bothering you.” You sigh.

“Nah, baby, it's all good.” He laughs. “What's up? You okay?”

“Yeah I'm actually on my way to the gym.” You giggle. “Minho showed up earlier tonight.” You begin.

“What happened?” Chan asks. You can hear the nervousness in his voice.

“I yelled at him.. alot. I told him I was done and you forget about me.” You explain. “But when I left tonight, he was asleep outside my door.”

“Like as in recently?” He asks.

“Yeah, as in like, 10 minutes ago he was there.” You laugh.

“Let me know when you're on your way back home, I'll meet you.” He says. “And hey, be safe please.”

“I will of course. Thanks, Channie.” you say before hanging up the phone.

An hour and a half later, you emerge from the gym, sweaty and feeling like you could take on the entire world.

“Hey.” You say, putting your phone up to your ear. “I was just about to call you.”

“I'm outside your apartment.” He says. “Are you close?”

“I’m right around the corner.” You say. “Actually, I see you.” You giggle. You hang up the phone, grinning widely as you see Chan standing there, looking as handsome as ever.

“Hey you.” He says, pulling you into him for a kiss. “Let's go get rid of the rodent that's hanging out in front of your apartment.” He says as you pull him into your apartment hallway.

“Hey.” Chan yells, kicking Minho's foot to wake him up. “Wake up, man.”

“What?” Minho groans, rubbing his eyes. “What's going on?”

“You fell asleep in front of my girlfriend's apartment. It's time to go.” Chan says.

“Girlfriend?” You and Minho both say. You look at Chan, smiling, the feeling of butterflies fluttering in your belly.

“If.. you want?” Chan says.

“I do want.” You laugh.

“Then yeah, you're asleep in front of my girlfriend's apartment. Go away. She's not interested in you anymore.” Chan says.

“Like I said earlier, Minho. I'm over it.” You say. “Go be with Jennie. It's over. I'm happy now.”

“I'll go.” Minho says, standing up. “But Y/N..I'm not giving up on you. On us.”

[rodolfoparras]

Sorry other anon but logan woukd NOT share

Jean and scott? Sure! But reader??? Helllllll no only HE gets to see readers cock

Speaking of.... (cw for wolverines masochism and sexual burning and crazy jealousy and mean reader im gonna yap)

Imagine reader with good dick... like better than Logan's ever felt; size doesnt matter (even if you're big) because somehow you can fuck him perfectly and know what he wants before he even asks.

Overstimulation is tricky because his regeneration gives him insane stamina, so you dont do things over and over but all at once. Vibe ring on his cock, fingering him without lube (the burn is something he can ground himself on) and aiming right for his prostate, and simultaneously digging your other hand's nails on his thigh or chest.

He'd never been taken apart so thoroughly, and he loved whining out your name, telling you he was your boy, being your placid fucktoy before he came all over the sheets.

So imagine how he felt when you suggested letting someone else in to join. He'd feel like shit if he turned it down without trying after you'd explored all the weird kinks he'd found he'd liked after 200 years, so he swallowed the bile in his throat and agreed.

The new guy was... pretty, to say the least. It's like he was everything Logan wasn't. Scrawny, young, and spry. He remembered meeting him before, probably an acquaintance of yours. The thought bothered him that the new guy would see you undressed, but Logan found comfort assuming that you'd probably let the new guy watch first and then he'd take whatever Logan wasn't using.

Logan felt his eye twitch as he heard the new guy request to ride. No. That was Logan's spot, damnit, and he wouldn't let some random kid take away from what he wanted. He bit his tongue, drew blood and swallowed, then retracted and sheathed his claws so the pain would yet again ground him. He watched in discontent as you slid your expert fingers in and out of the other guy's asshole, and once the guy moaned out your name the way only Logan should be able to, he snapped.

Logan ripped the guy off of you and tossed him to the ground, throwing the clothes down beside him.

"I'm not getting cucked. Not now, not ever. Nobody else is gonna see your cock but me," he growled, enunciating by grinding down on you. Suffice to say, you were pissed. The guy was bleeding, Logan's claws nicked him on the way down, all because Logan didn't speak up until you were prepping.

You scoffed and tossed Logan off, showing the poor kid to the door and turning back to Logan.

"Unacceptable shit. You should have said no in the first place, or said no when he asked to ride, or said no when I asked if you wanted it," you snapped. Logan felt his anger fade to guilt—you were right, yeah. Many opportunities to quit.

You lit a cigarette and puffed angrily, ignoring the sad puppy dog eyes he sported. You slumped on the couch and once Logan sat beside you, you finally noticed what he was asking. His wrist was outstretched to you, inviting a burn that he'd almost expected never to come. You chewed on your cheek. He was apologizing.

"Open," you finally said. Logan hurried, opening his mouth eagerly to accept the 'punishment' (it wasn't really, since nothing got him hornier than you being mean) and a moan left his throat when you pulled on his tongue to stretch it out.

Right in the middle, you stamped your quarter-smoked cigarette out on his tongue and followed it with spitting right into his mouth to hear the sizzle of the burning flesh. It healed quickly, so you lit your lighter and heated up the metal around the flame, then pressed it into his wrist, searing the flesh. He brought his blistering wrist to your lips in an invite to lick it, which you obliged before his body could fix the wound.

Logan laughed giddily. Nobody else could see this. Nobody else could feel this. Nobody but him.

-wolverine pussyfucker (the one who brought up jealous logan)

AND WHY DO YOU GUYS LEAVE MASTERPIECES LIKE RHESE IN MY INBOC WHERE IS THE FULL FIC WHY ARENT YOU POSTING THIS THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL SUGAR BEE THE AMOUNT OF TIME I REREAD THIS IS EMBARRASSING

I absolutely love a jealous Logan idc if it’s canon or not something about that grumpy bastard being incredibly possessive on the inside makes my cock hard especially him realizing it in the middle of a threesome? Oh Jesus Christ want to comfort and punish him at the same time head spinning need to lay down🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️

[aajjks]

Mommy Issues (IV)

synopsis. They wanted you, they needed you.

pairing. yandere!single dad!jungkook x fem!reader.

warnings. yändêrê bêhãvïöür, 0 tö ä 100 rêäl quïck, ängst, jk ïs kïnda än äss ïn thïs, mänïpülätïön, dëprëssïon, mëntïöns of vïöliêncè.

note. hello y’all. 😳 umm it’s surely been a while… but here’s another update, enjoy! and please share your feedback and thoughts! also send in asks for mi characters as well. AND PLZ DONT FORGET ABOUT MI KOO.

series masterlist.

taglist: @mageprincess7 @bids97 @saltandsugaa @minshookie29 @oppa-agust-d @sugarvenomlit @jinat8mydumplings82 @bloombaekhyun @peach-olic @multifandombishthatlovekth @vcutvante @minshookie29 @douknowbts @xjiminsthighsx @knjkitten @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @koocreampie @kooksmataec @monijeon @swaneffects @dragons-flare @dragonjimin @illnevertrustmyselfagain @itsjust2am @vicki1031 @burnahtsw @fjssk @jamacaicanxbarbie [will tag more people later!]

Jungkook regrets saying that out loud because now you’re gonna think that he’s a creep, or definitely a weirdo. You’re staring at him completely caught off guard and he doesn’t blame you.

But before he can overthink and let his anxiety take over, because of how creeped out you must be at his remark, why did he even say that out loud it was unnecessary… you give him a small smile, and all of his nerves immediately calm down. The effect that you have on him… he’s so in love with you.

“U-Uh I’m so sorry how inappropriate of me… yeah, I remember not in the school, right.. Ms yn I’m so sorry.” Jungkook looks down in his lap, but all he sees is Jeon Seol staring back at his father, with a confused look in his Bambi eyes, even though there’s no no one left except for him, you and his son he still feels really bad because you must feel really uncomfortable.

“Well..” you clear your throat, “I don’t think there’s anything in particular that I need to tell you about the progress of his studies because he’s doing good in them but behavior wise,” your smile, fades a little and you’re all serious now, he notices every inch of your expression.

You look concerned.

“you don’t have to worry about Seol getting lost in the school the assistant teacher will take care of him because there is something that I need to discuss with you about him in private.”

Jungkook looks at you with confusion, because what possibly could you be telling him that you need Seol out of the room for?

“I-Is everything all right?” Jungkook stutters out, his nerves are back once again. You don’t say anything and that just scares me one more because what did his five year old do for you to be so serious? But jungkook has got your hint and he whispers something in his son’s ear before Seol runs off.

You sigh before saying, “Mr. jeon.. I’m a little concerned.”

“On Thursday, Seol punched a student because he said I loved him more than Seol.” You cross your arms across your chest. Your demeanor has completely shifted and you look so serious.

Damn, you look really hot- he’s so focused on you that he doesn’t even listen to what you’re saying that is until the word punched settles in his brain.

“what? W-What?” he’s so confused right now. Jungkook cannot believe that his five-year-old punched someone. “Uhh what?” Dumbfounded he asks you once again.

“Yes… the child was even bleeding…” you shake your head, “as his teacher, I feel like I failed him because he wasn’t an aggressive violent child..” Jungkook doesn’t like the way you get a little sad.

No, it’s not your fault.

“Mr Jeon.. he’s a little possessive… for a five-year-old I don’t think that’s healthy… I mean I love him with all my heart I love all my students, but.. it seems like he wants me to only love him.”

Jungkook wants to scoff. And what is so wrong with that? Yeah he shouldn’t have punched the kid, but the kid must’ve instigated him. But he decides to keep his expressions neutral.

“Is everything all right? you’re his parent and I think it’s my responsibility to let you know everything about him.” The way you speak is so tender, so professional and gentle, but he feels a little pissed off.

You have left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“A-Are you saying that you don’t love him? Or that he’s got a problem?” His could you- can’t you see you’re breaking jungkooks heart right now?

“If only he had a mother…” he sighs, sadly.

Jungkook nods, coughing so he can clear his throat, he doesn’t want to come off as mean, but.. he cannot help it anymore.

“I understand… I think that my son has misunderstood you.” He begins, as he gets closer to your face. “he has confused your role in his life, I’m so sorry for that, but the truth is that he sees you as his mother-rather than a teacher and..” he takes a breath, “you’re not his mother. You’re just his teacher.” He barely manages to resist Make sure that his tone is appropriate.

And you’re speechless.

He immediately sees a change in your expressions and your mouth is a little wide when you hear him say that. “ I’ll make sure that he understands that and he will never do it again I am so sorry.” Jungkook smiles, Before he leans back in the chair.

“I’ll even apologize to the boys parents.” Jungkook just wants to get away from you now, first his father and now you.

This is the worst day ever.

And tomorrow he has to meet his father. Someone kill him.

“can I go now? Also, please could you tell me the boys name?” He is not speaking to you with a smile. As you tell him the boys name and his parents names, he can tell that you’re almost about to cry, for some reason.

That’s how he feels right now too. Maybe you’re not what he thought you were. You will never understand him or his son.

“Well Ms L/N have a good day.” he chooses to address you with your last name as compared to your first… jungkook doesn’t know why he’s feeling so bitter right now, but he feels like you’ve crushed his heart.

He just made him feel like his son has a problem and that you don’t love him. He almost feels a sense of betrayal.

He can just sulk in the car so he gets up before bowing to you, as his son’s teacher, he has to show you some respect, and he picks up Seol’s bag that was on the floor before he ran off, and he’s out of the room.

What a heavy heart, and a heavy conscious.

It’s about time that jungkook lets his son know that you’re not his mother. You’ll never be. You’ll never understand them. Truth is that you’ll never want them and need them like they do.

[shuxiii]

Heart to heart— Hanni pham x reader

Synopsis; she dates you as a dare

This endless loop has became a routine in your life. The same tireless and restless night of her drunk knocking on your door, with the same eyes you adoringly stared before, now were hazy teary red once.

It was never like this, it should have never had been like this.

She played you, she lied to you, she never loved you. And all of it started with a simple harmless dare. A dare that ruined everything you thought was love. It ruined your picture of love.

You and hanni had been dating for a good 5 months, meeting each other in a bar. Where she called you those sweet names and you fell for it.

She treated you with all the love she could grasp in her hands, something not everyone had but wanted. Something that everyone envied for.

Not every good start ends in a good note, because once you keep a lie eventually it comes out the light.

Everythinfg was fine, hanging out with her friends in the same exact bar you guys met. Reminscing about the moment you met each other. A love in first sight that was only a wishful dream for others

And caught in the blissful moment, a mere sentence ruined it.

"Good thing Hanni took that dare or we couldn't have met such an amazing person like you," Minji said, drunkenly slurring in the process but still clear for your ears to hear.

Everyone went silent as their catious stares went to you.

Hanni didn't know what to do at that moment, her worried gaze fell back at your blank eyes.

You stood up from your chair, as hanni stood as well in a panic, "ym, its not what it looks like—"

She tries to hold your wrist but you were already out the door.

"Yn, please let me explain" she begs.

"What exactly is there to explain?" You tried to hold back the shake in your voice, but the tears in your eyes made it clear.

"I know, i know baby. I'm stupid to take that bet, at first it was a dare, minji dared me to ask you out. And i did—i did it to win the bet, but it was at the beginning now i reslly love you."

She reaches for your hands, but you move away from her.

"So you never loved me?"

"At first, I didn't, but now I do, and I love you so much." I was stupid to take it, but if I hadn't, I would never have met you!" She pleaded.

"So what? i should be thankful you took that dare? That you lied to my face?"

"No, i didnt mean it like that—"

Her arms clung to your body as you stood there silently, her heart aching even more.

"I don't think I can do this right now," you murmured, her grasp tightening even more.

"Yn, please dont do this to me. Please stay" her voice became more incoherent and her sobs echoed even louder as you felt her body shook.

But her pleading wails were in vain, as you pulled her away, leaving her on the floor as you slipped from her grip, as she saw you fade from her view.

That was two weeks ago.

You were doing well, or so you thought. Ever since you left Hanni crying outside the bar, it felt like you left a part of you. But after you convinced yourself that she never loved you, it became easier to pretend you hated her. It was a loop game with your mind whenever she lingered in your thoughts, you'd just whisper the words like a hateful mantra, it was a cheap reassurance. But if it kept her out of your head then it was worthwhile.

And ignoring her was easy for you; it was like practice makes it perfect, and you nailed it.

As you were ready to attend a night party with your friends you heard a knock on your door at first you hesitated, you never opened the door every time you heard the desperate knocks because you knew who it was.

but Minji's voice made you open it was a scoff on your face.

''Why are you here?''

“Can we talk?” She pleaded.

“What is there to talk about, i think we did thag in the bar two weeks ago.” I scoff.

“Its about hanni” she says

The sound of her name made my heart take its pace.

“Okay 20 minutes and you’re out the door.”

“Thank you,” she smiles.

“So what about her?”

She looks back at me with sheer concern in her gaze.

“I'm here because she hasn't been herself since two weeks ago. You are aware that she easily falls into a bad habit of drinking. We're worried because I believe she hasn't been sober for a single day since then.”

The thought of that ached my heart but i didnt want to.

“Yn, i know you hate her. But she dosent listen to us anymore and im here as a worried friend, im sorry for what ive caused but if you just listen to her just even just an ounce of your time then I’ll get out of your hair and leave you be, so please.”

And here i was stupidly looking for her in the bar the same place we met and the same place that ruined everything.

Not even a minute passed by but i saw her quickly than anyone ever could. But i stopped just a few blocks from her, i was hesitant, i didnt know if i could do this.

But eventually she saw me.

and at first hanni thought she was too drunk to see you standing infront of her but as she rubs her eyes she realized you were real breathing and standing in front of her.

and faster than the own beat of her heart she puts her arms around you and her head rested against your shoulder, the same scent she missed ever since she was surrounded by the bitter scent of alcohol and cigarettes, your fragrance made her safe.

''You're real'' she slurred.

the loud music became silent in your ears and all of a sudden all the unwelcome memories came rushing like a storm, her touch melted against yours, and for a second you almost fell for it again, but this time you couldn't be driven by your feelings.

You fight to break free from her hands, but her hold tightens even more, and then the panic began to rush into her body as you felt her body shake. and suddenly you heard small sobs come out her mouth.

''Don't leave me,'' her voice barely making out the words she said as she began sobbing louder.

you started to realize she was going to panic attack your hands hugged her back as you begin to stroke her back softly.

''Hanni, calm down'' you softly spoke.

Her cries became faint but her body still shooked and her grip was still tight.

I was in conflict, i didnt know what to do but i wanted to be out of this bar.

I intertwined her hands with mine, she followed without a fight.

As we were out the crowded and loud bar, we were now faced with silence that not a knife would got cut off. I didnt know where to start.

“Yn… I’m sorry—“

“I know hanni, but why?” I stammer, “You’re sorry but why did you choose to do it?”

I look back at her, tears streaming down my cheeks, how hard I tried to look her in the eyes without wavering, but I didn't have the power to do so, and in the end, I fell for it again, her gaze the same ones that I adored and that had this soft look even when she was intoxicated, I could tell it was the same ones I saw.

“I dont know,” she says.

It wasnt the answer i want but the only one i get. Maybe there really wasnt hope.

"I don't know, I was afraid to be proven wrong," she says back, "I was always told I was too soft for my own good, and I was afraid—fearful that it was true."

“Even though i was aware it was wrong, i was selfish.” She says “but i faced the biggest consequences in the end.”

“And that is?” I hesitantly ask.

“You,” she tells me “I lost you.”

“Yn… if you give me one more chance to prove to you—to prove to you that i do love you, ever since our first date together i wanted it out the bet, being with you felt so amazing that i was in so much guilty to take that dare and if i was given the chance to go back in time, i wish i met you without the dare.”

She sounded so sobered.

“You still can, han.”

Hope flickered in her eyes.

“Do you promise? Promise not to lie again?” I say

“I promise, never lying ever again, i swear.”

She says without hesitation no stutter.

I intertwine her hands against mine again as she clings to my arms, afraid i’d disappear again.

“Lets go home, han.”

[gettinshiggywithit]

𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬

Summary: In which you find out loki’s secret and he fears your reaction.

Pairing: loki x reader

Genre: fluff ,maybe a hintt of angst

W/c: 928

A/N: saw someone talking abt jotun loki and my brain went brrrrr.Wrote this at 5/6 in the morning on 0 sleep so apologies in advance!If yall liked it id love to hear your thoughts

Marvel MasterList

A frost giant.unbelievable.

Loki stood in odin’s vault,hands firmly gripping the handles of the casket. He watched as his skin changed to an icy blue,an equally icy chill running down his spine. The all father had conveniently fallen into the odin-sleep.

“Leaving me when i need him…typical” he said to himself. It wasn’t like he had an audience and with him being the acting ruler,and his mother being in his ‘father’s’ chambers, he needn’t fear intrusion.

The only person aware of his little secret,who was awake anyway, was his mother and he intended to keep it that way.for as long as he could.

Eliminating thor would guarantee him the throne and by destroying jotunheim,he’d garner enough of the public’s love to hopefully keep his throne,should his secret come to light.

‘Does heimdall know?’ He wondered to himself.

‘No matter,He can be dealt with if necessary”

Loki was so lost in thought that he missed the,

“There you are!” You huffed out.

You marched on upto him and noticed he wasnt…himself.

At this sudden revalation, you started taking quieter,more measured steps towards the boyfriend-shaped figure in front of you.

You let out a tentative “loki?” To which he jolted, his hands immediately letting go of the casket and his now-red eyes staring at you with both surprise and slight fear. Not fear of you,but the fear of being discovered.

“Y/n, dont…dont do that.” He said letting out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding in. And when you didn’t reply, instead merely staring at him in bewilderment, he suddenly remembered how he looked. He stumbled backwards, his hands flying to brace himself against the stand of the artefact behind him.

His finger gently brushed against the casket and the fading blue returned once again.

Noticing this, he pulled his hands to his front.clasping them and lookin on at you,awaiting your reaction.

What would you do? Yell at him? Leave him? Threaten to tell the rest of asgard?

All the worst possibilities ran around his head and he began to tear up.

He was broken out of his turbulant thoughts by your hand brushing against his cheek.

He was shocked, to say the least.

Of all the reactions he’d thought up,this wasnt one.

He leaned into your touch,fearing this would be the last time he would feel it,your soft cold hand against his wretched skin.

“What is this loki?” You ask in a whisper,staring at him with not fear,not anger,but wonder and curiosity.

You were now stood quite close to eachother not impossibly so, but quite.

“I-“

“Were you cursed?”

“In a manner of speaking…y-”

“Does it hurt?”

You knew what he was,you’d seen frost giants before so it wasn’t illiteracy that made you disregard his current state.

You really were asking him if he was okay as he stood before you, a blue monster,kin to those you’d fantasised about killing in your youth…

Was this real?

He needed to know it was,so he spelled it out for you,

“Y/N,im a Frost giant.”

He let out in a voice laden with melancholy,regret and was that fear you heard?

“I know” you merely replied as you traced the patterns on his skin.

At this he pulled your hand away and held it.

“What do you mean you know?! Y/N im a monster! Dont you understand!”

Your expression shifted to one of annoyance,another unforseen reaction.

“I understand quite clearly loki.”

“Then why haven’t you-”

“Why haven’t i run out screaming? Cursing you? Why havent i tried to kill you?”

His silence told you that was exactly what he was about to ask, more or less.

You sighed before stepping towards him and placing his hand on your shoulder,he flinched but didn't move otherwise.

You took this as your go-ahead and wrapped him in a hug.

You stayed there for a good three minutes in silence before saying,

“Loki,i dont give a single ratatosk whisker if you’re a jotun.i love you.”

You pulled away at that to look him in the eyes and saw the tears forming there.

As they fell from his eyes,you caught them with your thumb and placed in on tongue.

Now it was his turn to look at you in confusion.

You waited a beat before saying, “for a jotun you cry asgardian tears.”

He smiled at that,scoffing at your antics.

“You’re ridiculous”

“Yeah well im also yours so get used to it” you said as you went in for another hug and this time he hugged back holding you like you were the most precious thing in all the nine realms,and to him,you were.

“Are you sure?” He whispered out,almost like he hoped you wouldnt hear.

“Always.And never forget it” you said,pressing a soft kiss to his lips which had him chasing yours as you pulled away.

“Why did you come down here anyway?” He asked finally realising it was rather odd for you to have come to the artefacts vault;unless there was a purpose for your visit that is.

“Ah yes, Frigga was calling you.” You said pulling away and pulling him by the arm towards the exit.

“Alright then” he said as he let you drag him out of the chamber that held his secrets. You really were something else,and he’d never been more grateful for anyone in his entire life.

Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen

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[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Family in hell | Dad!Chishiya x Mom!Reader + Platonic!Son

Warnings: AU - Dad!Chishiya - Mom!Reader - Mentions of pregnancy - Canon typical violence - MDI - +18

Chishiya would blame god if he ever believed in one to start with. He really saw no reason for his family to be in a place like this.

He on other hand...well he knew he was not perfect and had lots of problems when it came down to emotions and being social with others, not caring for the rest was his way of living.

"Dad?"

Till his son came to the world.

Truly, he was an accident. Chishiya never planned to get you pregnant and your relationship had started as only a sexual one. But later he found himself falling harder for you.

And since he sucked at showing feelings his way was to have even more sex with you. So maybe that did the trick and ended with you pregnant of him.

In that moment he was happy, for the first time in years he was so happy to have a family, even if it came at some of the worse times possible with him still in college.

Oh, If only he had know these were not going to be the worse times.

This place, whatever it was, this was the worse.

It was hell.

Chishiya had decided he would use anyone and everything to keep both of you safe.

"Sasaki, he is sleeping love, the day was long, why dont we go get him some food?" You gentle voice could be hear in the dak room.

It had been a hard day indeed. Chishiya almost lost his son because of a stupid player and then you got a nasty burn protecting him.

He had took you back to the beach and making sure your wound was not severe. He had to calm his crying son, Sasaki was young and intelligent but he was still a kid who loved his parents, crying was not something he would not do.

Completly different from Chishiya.

When the hard truth of this place has hit him, Chishiya explained to his young kid how the "games" needed to be winned no matter what.

"But cant we all win?"

These were his words at first, he had got your kind nature.

"Not here. Do you remember Hajime?" His kid nodded at the mention of his school bully "He was always mean right? And wanted to win everytime, well now I need you to do the same"

"You only have to do this for a short time, your dad and I will be taking care of the rest" You added ruffling his hair.

The memory faded away as he hear the door Open and only one pair of steps.

"Where is he?" Chishiya asked turning around to see you with some fruits.

"He is fine and safe, Kuina took him to the small pool and she will make sure no one comes close to him"

Chishiya nodded, taking the appel you had brought back.

"We need to leave this place, I dont trust it will support itself much longer"

"Chishiya, Hatter knows what he is doing" You said taking a seat besides him.

"Does he? Do I need to remind you we had to specially ask that he would let the three of us go together? He is giving this people fake hope, and thats dangerous"

His words were true, part of you did not want to believe it. The beach was a safe heaven at first, having a bed to come after the games, food...but it was too good to be true. The place has its dark side and you knew they could use your son to get Chishiya.

"I know, but we need to be carefull. You need to tell me your plan"

"No. You and Sasaki Will have to act as if you two never had any type of information. If someone goes down it wont you or him, and trust me it wont be me either" Chishiya assured you kissing the top of your head. "Today I almost lost him and you, I wont let that happen again, I promise"

The door opened again a nervous Kuina appearing and your son running into the room with the biggest smile.

"Mom! Dad! Look" Sasaki said pointing at one animal made by balloons "A guy made me this!! And he asked if you two would go to the bar but I dont know what that is, oh!! And then I-"

"Sorry" Kuina whispers to you "the guy was Tatta, he is good. But I tought it would be better if he is with his parents"

"Thank you Kuina" you responded smiling then looking at how Chishiya was nodding as your kid told him about this animal and its name. It was the most sincere smile he has ever made.

"I will go now, if you two want some...alone time let me know, I love taking care of him" Kuina said giving you a wink then leaving.

"Dad, will we go back to the Real world?" Sasaki asked making Chishiya freez.

"I dont know Son, but what I do know its that your mom and you are the most important things to me and nothing Will change it"

"And I love you and mom too!! I Will fight for you Dad, mom will be safe"

You had to turn your face to not let him see your tears. He was so inoccent and sweet, truly not made for here.

Chishiya pulled you and your kid for a family hug, with how things had been and how things could get he had learn this was the best moment he could have.

And he swears, more times like this one will come. Because no one matters besides his family.

[juiles]

Sticking Out Sucks 3

Requested: no

Summary: part 3 of the au where they find out a secret of yours they dont love.

Tags: fluff

Triggers: smoking

Masterlist here.

Requests here.

Taglist here.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I looked out at the field below my window as I sat on the windowsill, a cigarette between my lips taking small puffs. A calming lull of security ran around me as Queen songs played on in the background. This was something I did when I knew my new mothers were out. It was a lot easier to hide when they hated me. Well, I guess they never hated me but when they decided to ignore me for my own benefit. Something I’m still getting used to is having two parents who care about my health. If they knew I smoked, they would freak out, I would probably get grounded for life.

I heard the elevator ding meaning someone was coming on to our floor which was odd because nobody but me and my mothers ever came up here. I quickly extinguished the cigarette in my hand and stashed the whole pack and my lighter away in a small nook right outside that was kept dry by a stone I shoved over top. I quickly sprayed some body spray around my room and settled back on the windowsill, music still playing in the background.

I heard a knock and yelled come in. My door opened and Bruce was standing in my doorway. “Your moms told me to feed you while they were gone, din-“ He stopped mid sentence and sniffed the air around him. “Why does it strongly smell like vanilla with a hint of cigarette smoke in here?” My heart rate picked up slightly but, on the outside, kept a calm façade. I shrugged flipping the knife in my hand around. “Y/N?”

“Its probably someone outside smoking. I had a candle lit not too long ago.” I muttered looking over at the man in the doorway. “What did my mothers say you were to do again?” I asked placing the switchblade on the dresser beside me.

“Right. Food is on the table in the kitchen. Its pizza and wings. Sorry I can’t cook like your mom.” He said with a small sheepish look on his face. I shrugged and grabbed my phone off my bed, following him as he walks out my door and towards the elevator.

“That’s fine. I was used to less than that before.” I said as he pushed the elevator button and the doors opened with a ding. I pushed past him lightly as I got on, him following up behind me and pressing the button for the main living floor where the kitchen was. We stood in silence as I scrolled through my phone.

“If you’re smoking you need to tell me.” He said out of the blue, making me look up at him with shock. “You’re thirteen years old. Your body is not ready to handle those types of things. Those drugs.” He said looking at me strongly.

I tried to play it cool. “If I was smoking Bruce, you wouldn’t know. I’m to smart for that.” I bit my lip looking down at my feet as the doors opened. I quickly stepped out of the elevator and made my way towards the kitchen trying to get away from him.

As I sat and ate my pizza, the doors opened revealing my two mothers, dirty but otherwise not looking to bad. “Detka.” I looked up and my face broke out into a giant smile. My safe people were home. It had been a week since my breakdown and they’ve been nothing but supportive in everything I need and I knew that tomorrow we would be having the conversation with Fury about taking me off missions, something that I was ridiculously looking forward to.

“Momma!” I said, hopping off the stool and running towards the two women. “Mama! You guys are back early! I thought you wouldn’t be back until early tomorrow morning!”

“We happened to finish early so we thought we would come home and spend the night together! Movie night?” Natasha said with a small smile as I wrapped myself up into their arms. Nat sniffed my head then pulled me back with a raised eyebrow.

My smile immediately faded as I looked up at the redhead in front of me. “Hi mama.” I said sheepishly. Her smile faded as well as she looked over at Wanda then back at me. “We have pizza…?”

“Why do I smell cigarette in your hair young lady?” She asked, nervously I shrugged and went back to the counter where my pizza was sitting. “No. Why do I smell cigarette in your hair?” I shrugged again and took a bite of my pizza, knowing it was fruitless to lie to them, but I still didn’t want to admit it to her.

“Natasha what are you talking about?” Wanda said, making her way over to me and placing a kiss on my head before she stopped and sniffed my hair as well. I knew I had forgotten to spray something, my hair. “You do smell like cigarette smoke. Why?” Wanda said, making me put down my piece of pizza.

I shrugged again but stopped when I heard a cough from beside me. “No lies. Truth. Now.” Instead of taking that properly, my whole body felt like an instant reaction to Wanda’s words, and I immediately went into defense.

“Why should I tell you the truth?” I snapped standing up. I pushed past the redhead on my left and found my way up the stairs and into my room. “FRIDAY, keep my door locked, no one can enter, not even Wanda and Natasha.”  I opened my window and grabbed my cigarettes, quickly pulling one out and lighting it. I took a few puffs, tears falling down my face. “Why the fuck would they want to keep me now? You’re fucking stupid Molchalin. Why would they want to keep you now?”

My door was kicked open and, in the wake, stood my redhead mother looking at me with nothing but concern and worry. “Why did you run off detka? Why did you lock yourself in?” She said running towards me, ignoring the currently lit cigarette in my hands, and pulling me into her arms. I felt the cigarette get taken out of my hand and I instinctively wrapped my arms around Natasha, small sniffles coming out.

“I’m sorry mama! I’m sorry!” I cried out looking up at her. She shushed me, tucking a piece of red hair behind my ear and pulled me into her again. Rubbing my back to calm me down. “I’m sorry I lied, I’m sorry I smoked!”

“No more tears malyshka.” Wanda said pulling me into her arms next.

“We just want to know if you plan on continuing to smoke or if you want to stop. We would really like to help you stop. Youre so young detka.” Natasha said, sitting on my bed, prompting wanda and myself to sit next to her.

“It’s calming… it makes me feel serene… something I don’t get very often.” I mumbled, picking at my fingers, being held in my mothers arms. “It was more often from when you guys ignored me… it was easier to just feel spacey then deal with what I really felt on the inside.”

“From now on, when you feel the need to smoke, why don’t you come to one of us?” Wanda suggested, running her fingers through my hair. “You come to us and we talk about why you might be feeling that way rather than smoking and ruining your body hmm?” I looked up at her, eyes wide and full of fear.

“What if I’m not sure why I feel that way?” I mumbled looking back down at my fingers. “Sometimes I feel feelings, I don’t understand and its just easier to float away than feel them…”

“Well momma and I were talking on the flight back and we thought about maybe putting you in therapy… we all had to do it when we first got out of wherever we got out of and since your now in our care, we think it would be very helpful.” Natasha said braiding my hair in small sections. I shrugged holding the teddy they had recently gotten me, tightly in my arms.

“Its scary…”

“But it will be easier with us on your side. Now, movie and cuddles? I can go get the pizza and some snacks?” I immediately perked up when mama mentioned movie and cuddles and nodded my head quickly.

“Yes please!”

Taglist:

@asiangmrchk13 @boredandneedfanfics @mythixmagic @natashamaximoff-69 @grim-trans-witch