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#i dont mean to be mean to dirk i think hes great its just fun to make fun of him
cowvboyenema · 10 months
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EEMDROB dirk too please. i am a cop
Under the cut, because I <3 my dash and feel compassion for my mobile warriors
DAVE
no listen, i get it rose, i know the whole "Your prevalent daddy issues can only rear their head so many times before this relative hydra of parental responsibility gets you labeled as, dare I say it, a parent." shpiel like the back of my hand, im not into it right now
you can just be casual bros with a man who happens to look like you, im not taking him under my wing and tucking him in to bed, lending the final couch out so i can shiver miserly on the rooftop
im just kind of hanging
its fun, you know?
its been a while since i was dipshit dave with no responsibilities, who my kid brother thinks is fun to chill with
im always celebrity dave, or this dave, or that dave
its nice just relaxing and fucking around with yiffin, i dont get to just fuck around and ramble at people who understand what im saying anymore
its been real nice
...
...
yeah yeah, i know, forgot about the perils man, you warned me about the stakes
hes got his own brother shit to figure out, im not forcing myself on him, i just remember being alone and responsible and fucking things up a lot myself, god forbid a man reach out and say he understands too and also if you have time im trying to fuck up drunk jenga so if you could kick the shit out of my hand while you stumble my pile over that would be great
DIRK
okay, if were joining ship point fingers at dave and his open daddy issues HES not fair, he is LITERALLY my little brother
you want me to be mean to my little brother?? my tiny tyke??? youre fucked
...
..
no i know hes not dirk, and im not going around slangin shoulders with him or whatever dumb bullshit youre thinking about but
its complicated man
like i masturbate but i dont cum, its like a power thing-
lmaoo stop stop stop okay chill
hes nothing to worry about, its just like
hes my baby bro if some horrible end of the world thing happened, and its not like i can be the dude he knew, were two different dudes, but hes sort of like
you know
hes my little bro
im not his guy, hes not mine, and in the middle hes my little brother and im his big, so who fucking cares if we piddle around each other nervously for a while
i think youre looking at this from the wrong light man
its dirk
yeah yeah i know you know it's dirk, but i mean its DIRK
if he wants to hang with me and fuck around thats literally not my choice, little man has his way of getting things, so why fight that shit when i could be nosing in for quality movie time
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melissa-titanium · 1 year
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ive already decided all the weapons for the bkids but i am unsure if i should go for 5thgen ONLY for the specifics or just . EVERY MH GAME  which would defintieyl expand my options a bit but theres like........ 500 MILLION Monstesr and therefore 500 M IL L IO N  AR MOR SE TS  and i wouldnt know whatto choose :(
but for the bkids weapons:
egbert: hammer. duh! don’t think i really need to explain this one, but shes the type to go utterly berserk once the monster’s been downed from a stun. has cleared the entire area of mizutsune, theyre all too afraid to fight her (hehe.. me) she lands a LOT of ko’s and is infinitely frustrated by the fact that you need to SHARPEN a HAMMER. WHO NEEDS TO SHARPEN A HAMMER??! ITS A HAMMER GOD DAMNIT
dave: longsword. again, duh! dont think i really need to explain this! anime loser boy, it feels appropriate. he’s the type to waste his gauge on helmbreaker in world and didnt learn till iceborne that theres more than one charge level on it. i haven’t played longsword much so i wouldn’t know a lot of the specifics but i think he would deliberately always go hit the head just to knock everyone else over cause hes a bitch like that :heart:
rose: this one is really tough, im stuck between dualblades, cb, and ig, but i think i have to go for db!
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come on. shes totes a db user.
funnily enough she reminds me a lot of the stealth dango dualblades in rise ! i would say she’d use those but i have a feeling she would think they’re too silly.
again i havent played much of dualblades but i think she would be one of the More Sane dualblade players, she doesn’t roll down the backs of monsters that often and makes sure she gets the ACTUAL  most damage out of an attack rather than doing whats cool (same thing with IG cause i know aerial attacks aren’t that powerful! atleast from what ive heard)
jade: lbg and hbg! but dabbles in other weapons (especially hunting horn) as well. she’s one of those insane motherfuckers that sets down an affinity booster and goes ham. decimates the monster in 10 seconds flat then carves like nothing happened. great to grind with, but when you’re really just trying to have fun i feel like she would end up going too fast
anddd for the alpha kids cause i just thought of them
jane: gunlance or greatsword! gunlance is known for poking and.. i guess that’s like forkkind? i LOOOVE gunlance and even though im not really good at it its very fun to play and it reminds me of jane :D AND GREATSWORD!!!!!!!!! it feels like almost every greatsword user (except me im not cool) is either SUPER DERANGED or SUPER CHILL or like... BOTH but not in themiddle. like a combination AND SHE TOTALLY FEELS LIKE IT.  she would fucking KILL with strongarm stance in sunbreak she is the one person in the hunt to land SO MANY KO’S AND PARTBREAKS that it honestly becomes concerning. takes a long time to charge up (she thinks focus is an un necessary skill) but its always worth the wait!
dirk: again with the anime longsword boy. except he’s like..really good atit unlike dave. hes pretty humble about it for the most part but GOD FUCKING FORBID he knocks anyone over (which he does) (alot) . he never says anything but anytime theyre all grinding for decor he is telepathically urging them all to get flinch free just so he wont screw up their attacks. his favorite monster is scorned magnamalo and i should kill him for that but i wont. im nice
jake: hmm hes a toughie! i’m stuck between lance and sns (bowguns go without saying duh) lance is totally a Page weapon but sns is a Jake weapon...... maybe he switches between the two who knows! he tends to over-judge a monsters attack and block too early or too late half of the time and is a corner healer (i think thats the term. the people that huddle off into the corner to heal from an attack while everyone else is in the middle of the battle) but he means well! he does a pretty decent amount of damage but most of his skills are health/defense oriented and he DEFINITELY has earplugs.
Roxy: SWAXE, INSECT GLAIVE OR LIGHT BOWGUN. she hasd so many fucking mods i think either her pc blew up 3 times or she got banned from multiplayer even tho im p sure mods r allowed in multi  . shes specil. she totally got introduced to the series via stories 2 and is the MOST into it out of everyone else on this list. she probably knows how to hunt in every single weapon but just so she isnt flexing she only plays swaxe and ig most of the time.......... she is SUUUPER fun to hunt with
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notedchampagne · 6 years
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KJHGFGHJGFDSF I DIDNT MEAN IN//CE//ST CHRIST EW,, I MEANT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS AS *BROTHERS*, HOW YOU THINK THEIR DYNAMICS WORK, STUFF YOU WISH WE HAD GOT IN THE COMIC, ETC. NOT FUCKIN STRIDER//CEST ID DEADASS RATHER EAT RAT POISON
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thank GOD thats a relief. sorry for assuming so quickly yall know how sketchy this site can be
as for brothers i think itd be hilarious, trying to get them to interact with each other without it all falling into pieces. i mean yeah the rooftop conversation was great but i am willing to bet my money that the second they get on earth c dirk goes radio silent for a week before roxy drags him back to face People and whenever he tries to start talking with dave theres a 50% chance it goes well with talking about bs and whatever and ending with slam poetry or meme references and a 50% chance that dave hesitated too long before a reply and dirk, overanalysing everything, immediately dives into the conclusion that he said something wrong and that one split second was dave suddenly wanting to leave and so dirk cuts off the conversation early and makes like a banana and splits and then theres really weird silence for three days before one of them manages to say hey whats up im sorry about [insert here] and then they hash out wtf happenned and then its back to normal for like five days and repeats all over again for at least a couple months. i like to think that eventually they become chill with each other and manage to get alongas for hal sahsdkdhjldsg’jdsjdfsuifas i think hal and dave would get along fantastically tbh idk why they havent even interacted in canon (from what i remember) but theres something about the dialogue that makes my braincells dance and go “id pay for an interaction between these two” lets pour one out for the lost potential i think hal and dave would get along greathal and dirk on the other hand hjvdshbjsd’dssd. cvduoskcuyasdcusdkxa. vcysdakcxksdijxhcdis. hal changes dirks alarm to a bass boosted remix of africa by toto & he man & all star and the one time dirk manages to sleep he wakes up crying. there are times where i make myself believe that hal is separate and has a robot body on earth c just so that i can say that for an entire month he moves dirks furniture one inch to the left just so that its unnoticeable but you Stumble. dirk and hal have the Exact Same dynamic as my sister and i, which is to say that on some days we tolerate each other and on most days i cry because she refuses to turn down the tv and insists on blasting roblox letsplays in the living roomanyway the striders are great 
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spookfished · 2 years
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ok its time for keeping up with the blorbos where i talk about my feelings towards all of the past characters that i can remember that i used to be really into (semi chronological) and YOU my dear reader get a glimpse into my psyche or another opportunity to j/k scroll
twilight sparkle: when i watched mlp i thought she was in high school but now i think shes actually in her 20s which honestly makes the show funnier. the perfect time for learning about the magic of friendship. i think its too bad that she didnt get as many opportunities to be like dorky n stuff in the later seasons like she got all character developed out.. like a distant fondness ritsu kageyama: this guy is the emotional blueprint for how i feel about alphinaud ffxiv lol. like in middle school i was like damn im just like im just like him fr  but now its like aww my little scrunklydoo.. its like this wave of affection for my little fictional guy. i want to see him get self destructively embroiled in a mess beyond his control and also hes 13 years old... ruffles his hair dirk strider/hal: he is the moment. etc or i mean he was the moment several years ago. actually i was thinking about this post because yesterday bc of neils post i was like wow dirk strider and i spent 30 minutes thinking about him instead of going to sleep. anyways like yk how across act 6 his solution to like everything is to kill himself like he literally invented kill herself disease..to the point where its literally a meme but its still true. i dont think i like resonate with that as much as i did when i was originally reading it, and i have even more mixed feelings about all of the epilogues/hs2 stuff but its still like omg. one of the only times his suicide by proxy didnt work was with hal was bc hal was not just a proxy but also a Whole Nother Person and he was scared to die..arent you.. no way.. anyways i keep him in a little box terezi pyrope: i still really like her but i think the alpha kids are more easily removable from the context of hs’ plot yk theyre so self contained. terezi on the other hand is very connected to remembering what happens in hs, which i definitely dont. sotp was really good though. in some hypothetical future where i reread hs i think i would try and pay more attention to her interactions w other kids in the context of her rship with vriska instead of taking them standalone.i think i also just personally connect less with her themes n whatever but like truly nobody else has done it like her ouma: surprisingly even though i still have this guy as a pfp on another email i dont feel that much about him anymore. its like ah ndrv3 was pretty bad huh. theres other fish in the sea.. when lovepoints posts art of him its like :] though. glad to have danganronpa start to leech out of my psyche tbh it was fun while it lasted goro akechi: surprisingly i still really like this guy. i think part of it is that p5r ended up being such a serve like yeah persona 5s writing is usually bad but i think its really great that he did get to be a grumpy bitch. hmm not a lot of actual thoughts about him but a delight to have in class kim dokja: ahhhh *explode*
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swimfuel · 3 years
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have any fav davekat tropes??
oh very much so yeah
the classic meteorstuckisms/friends of convenience learn about one another on a deeper level/you know what i mean will always hold a very warm place in my heart like YES they come a dime a dozen YES i am collecting said dimes in those little coin paper roll up things im sorry i dont do it on purpose
i think i saw this on twitter or on here at some point but i will never stop thinking about twitter leftist karkat vs crypto bro dave like oh my god OH MY GODDDDDD😭😭😭😭😭
i dont know if ive seen this anywhere yet but letterboxd review meetcute>>>>>>
huge fan of superhero/mutant/superpower humanstucks in general and the davekat ones also inevitably hit like a truck
they are so great in my dubiously humanstuck au but that is for me to post about on tumblr in vague terms just to never actually draw
this is just a human/alien thing in general but i just really like it when [insert alien] thinks [trait human think as normal/take for granted but doesnt really exist for said aliens] is insanely cool.... can you tell that dimple comic crossed my dash again LIKE SORRY IM CORNY.............
YOU KNOW THAT ONE SCENE IN FAILURE TO LAUNCH WHEN THEYRE MAKING FUN OF DAVES GAGS FROM WHEN HE WAS 13. MORE OF THAT
the slight gilmoregirls roryparisisms of opinions column karkat being forced to pair with photog dave for the school paper
karkat to me feels like a bio major who doesnt want to go into medicine. a living oxymoron
i think well intentioned but ultimately overstepping and tunnelvisioned matchmaker karkat is the funniest shit ever AND THEN HE ROPES DAVE INTO HIS BULLSHIT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
i read this alpha universe davekat and rosemary thing once that was SOOOO fucking good but idk if i could find it again
i know ive mentioned this on here before but i cant stop thinking about dirk and kankri having fucked ONCE (and a half apparently) off at college and its the most embarassing moment of both their lives and then kankri comes home for thanksgiving break and daves staying with the lalondes for his last year of high school and he cant for the life of him tell why his brother spits out his drink at the sight of rose's homoerotic rival's annoying friend's somehow more annoying brother arriving late because he was lecturing a random motorcyclist he'd almost ran over with his red 2012 honda civic on the way to the lalonde house. cue dave and karkat locking eyes in one horrible moment of realization as the night drags on. it progresses from there
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snakeningel · 5 years
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not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.
being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!
even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??
in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!
Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 
rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 
and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing
this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 
in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.
anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth
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bladekindeyewear · 5 years
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Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 12 - Candy Page 18
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Time to see what all the fuss was about Page 18.  We’re with Jane... that might not be good.  Especially given Lollipop proximity.
Jane scoffing at troll genocide again.  :(
Gamzee seems more woke than Jane here.
GAMZEE: sO yOu SaYiN yOu NeEd DiFfErEnT sHoEs FoR yOuR hUmAn DiCkS aNd WhAt NoT?
Pfffff
Jane narrows her eyes at the disingenuous buffoon.
I dunno, he sounds like he’s being pretty goddamn ingenuous right now.
It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation?  Are they black with each other or something??
What’s more likely is he’s attempting to get a rise from her. To get her a little hotter under the collar. To put her in a certain mood.
Oh my gosh she’s genuinely black for him, hahahahah
GAMZEE: AnD AlL I EvEr bEeN TrYiN To dO Is gEt yOu rIgHt tOo, WiTh mOrAlS AnD GoOdNeSs, AlL fIlLeD uP iNsIdE yOu As TiGhT aS yOuR tAsTy HoE bAlLoOnS aRe WiTh HuMaN mOo JuIcE.
Jesus christ that’s not the kind of metaphor i want to be hearing from canon
or anyone for that matter
JANE: No! I’d rather die than touch your disgusting clown baton ever again.
....yyyeah, context is showing she’s PROBABLY super Black into this.  Still, pretty jarring to see a clear consensual “NO” right in the middle of things.
Quit calling her a dairy queen!!! D: D: D:
Oh god they named the baby Tavros.
Alright, there’s some grade A discomfort in this scene, which I’m enjoying, really.  I can see why they singled out page 18.  I could traumatize some people with some of these paragraphs out of context.
HOO HOO HOO, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE DARK CARNIVAL!!!
Eeeeuugh
JAKE: Anyway whats up with you? Hows life with davekat going? JADE: oh its great! im really glad i just went for it JADE: all of us together... it really is the best of every world
God damnit Jade why are you obliviously torturing them????????
You could’ve been REALLY GOOD for them both if you just FUCKING LISTENED TO THEM AND RESPECTED THEM INSTEAD OF SITTING ON THEM.
JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly
Oh my FUCKING GOD please don’t canonize this.  This didn’t need to be spelled out so-- D:
jesus
D: D: D:
This... is actually making my stomach roil again????
like
not because id object to-- i mean, it’s one thing to deal with
FAN SCENARIOS
ISOLATED divergences from canon where she has to deal with that and its kind of hilarious, but can be safely ignored when it comes to her character arc as a whole
but once its CANON????????   D: D: D:
suddenly you can’t IGNORE the full import when you’re done with, like, an RP or something, of the psychological struggle she would be forced to deal with given an abnormal biological situation.  Instead of thinking “Oh, that could be pretty painful to deal with! Let’s explore it temporarily for fun” it becomes “Oh, that would be painful to deal with and you have to think about her having to deal with all the complications of that whenever you hear about her LITERALLY FOREVER.”  D:
andrew i know you couldnt resist because of how funny and practically-xenoprogressive it was but whyyyyyyyyy did you have to canonize that WHYYYY
Now instead of a fun joke thought it also has to be SAD FOREVER
AAAAAAAA  D’:
i dont know why this would be the line thats crossed to upset me
Rose surrogate?
JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario!
Pffffff.  Andrew’s just diving RIGHT into the, er, doggy fanfics here.  I should... TRY to lighten up about this.  Try.  D:
(...wait, shit.  Knowing my friend, THIS whole bit is why they alluded to this page.  God damnit.)
[[ EDIT:  askshenhibiki said:
Now that you read Candy 18, flash back to Meat when Roxy is talking about gender... and look at Jade's reaction looking at "where her hands rest on her lap". Yes, Meat hinted at that "mix" too.
Ah, let’s see...
ROXY: and so i got to thinking ROXY: what even is gender ROXY: amirite lol? JADE: oh yeah JADE: that makes sense i guess........
Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment. I’m staying away from this subject, from now on.
...yeah, guess Dirk at least had the decency not to spring all that on us before Jade got the opportunity to do it honestly. ]]
Guh, back to Jake suffering in his sad, trapped scenario.  I hope THAT gets at least resolved by the end of this.  Someone save Jake from this, because it looks like he’s not really that capable of saving himself?
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Dammit, Jade, I’m cringing at these descriptions of your intrusion.
Oh wow, John went for the mustache.  Guess we knew that from, like, his stuffed statue oldself?
Jade doesn’t pick up on the obvious subtext in the conversation, however, because she’s been willfully undermining the subtext in her own personal life for nearly a year now.
D:  D:  D:
Seriously, Jade, how is what YOU’RE doing any better than what you were frustrated at seeing THEM doing, avoiding the real feelings and truth of anything even if it was conspicuously on body-language display?
KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.
It’s like Andrew wants us deprived of even a happy imagined future for Earth C on top of everything else!!!  What the hell! >:(
Is this about politics?  Is Andrew just venting his anger that the Orange Guy is going to get away with ruining everything forever??  Because as understandable as that is, he could at least give us some imaginary happyfutures to look forward to.
Reading on... Hm, yet another intentionally-misused fridging reference.
KARKAT: HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.
Yep, that triangle’s fucked.  Wonder if the conversation’s going to transition to the CURRENT triangle’s problems...
...yeah, John using the R word there isn’t far from the fucking truth from the looks of things.
JADE: maybe that would work for a few days, but one thing i learned from dating around a lot in my youth is that no ones going to leave a bad relationship until its THEIR idea to leave
She takes in a shaky breath and shuts her eyes. Her hair spills around her face when she leans forward to put her chin on her knees. Dave and Karkat exchange a look that is equal parts confused, miserable, and desperate.
Oh SHIT.  Is JADE going to be the one to finally vocalize about the problems here???
Something else comes hurtling out of the hole in the sky, too fast for Jade to catch. It hits the ground with a clap of green lightning. The collision sends a geyser of dirt, rock, and vapor into the air. Dave flash-steps to shield Karkat. Jade doesn’t move, taking the brunt of the explosion face on, using her abilities to warp the energy around her so that she’s a mote at the center of the storm. When the dust clears, she’s the first to jump in the crater, trailing smoke behind her.
There’s a body at the center of it. The torso is bloody, tangled, and curled into a fetal position. Its shoes are missing, but otherwise the outfit is quite familiar to her: it’s a dead ringer for her old Witch of Space uniform. Jade touches the body with the toe of her shoe, and then gasps when it rolls over to reveal its face.
JADE: its... JADE: ME???
Okay what the FUCK.  It sounds like there’s going to be some context for that postscript after all.  Something to bridge the gap between when that 16-yo Jade falls into the singularity and when Aradia goes off with her through a wormhole
I’m going to guess up front that this happens BEFORE the postscript... this younger version of Jade fell into the black hole and came out in THIS alternate timeline, possibly rather changed by the experience.  But then again, the way the sky opened up... actually, couldn’t that be just a “natural” manifestation of the black hole abilities encouraged by Calliope or done by the singularity alone, followed by later in the Postscript this Jade actually getting control of it??
And... reading on, from the sound of it, her eyes aren’t black yet, either.  Sounds like that’s to come, before the postscript.  Question being, is it alt!Callie black eyes, or some black-hole-powers visual manifestation?  Wait, never mind, I misread; this teenage Jade-corpse has NOT opened their eyes yet, so they couldn’t possibly tell, and the stuff about them “shaking” was about the adult Jade standing over her.  Never mind.  Let’s see which timeframe this Jade came from.
Also STOP TRAUMATIZING ADULT JADE ON SCREEN ITS NOT OKAY IM SICK OF IT ANDREW
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Page 20...
Stop letting babby not!Vriska bully babby not!Tavros.
Hm... same stupid tooth poison?  No, Jade didn’t get hit with a tooth... so it’s more getting hit with shards of spacetime and spiraling down a black hole.  Also whatever alt!Callie did to just barely keep her alive.
Hm, so the Heart stuff falls apart if you’re too separated from the mass-whole at Light’s center?  That’s certainly a hypothesis at least.
ROXY: sounds like its time for another funeral lmao
ROXY WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A VAGUELY ROXY-LOOKING LMAO-ZOMBIE.  WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL ROXY GO.
And where the fuck is Calliope anyway, she’s just being left in the dust and nobody’s even talked to her from the looks of it.
Hm, cut apart by political differences, this group...?
ROXY: woah ok karkat i get ur all fired up about politics and stuff but lay off gamz ok
ROXY WHO REPLACED YOUR FUCKING BRAIN WITH A BLOCK OF CHEESE
ROXY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PLEASE GIVE US AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU’RE ACTING NOTHING LIKE THE COOL SMART PERSON WE READ ABOUT.
JADE: dave what the FUCK did you say to him downstairs?
Oh my god you asshole don’t blame DAVE for this >:(
ROXY: this time next week well corpse party like its the end of the world!
I don’t want to think this has anything to do with Aradia, but we DID see her in that postscript bit...  And, I mean, what the hell could she even do??  It’s not like this Roxy is just Aradia in really convincing cosplay or something.
==>
She leads John and Jake into the building and down the center of the nave, humming happily to herself the entire time. An equally effusive Calliope trails behind her, carrying a bouquet of purple flowers.
Well there’s Callie. What is WITH these hypnotized motherfuckers.  I need a revelation on these shenanigans STAT.
What is with people being bathed in light here?
each time we witness death, we fall in love in with the important people in oUr lives all over again.
Calliope is gazing at Roxy with glassy eyes. She sniffs as she plucks the last petal from her rose. A breeze washes through the cathedral from the crack in the door at the end of the room, brushing the petal off-course and causing it to get stuck in Roxy’s over-sprayed hair. Calliope reaches out with a visibly shaking hand to remove the plant offal, but she does not draw back. Instead, she lets her hand graze down the side of Roxy’s face and cup her cheek. Roxy puts her own hand over Callie’s and holds it.
Uhhh.... huh.
So.
If Roxy was just lying to herself, then............ WHY??????
John tilts his head and squints at the image in front of him. Hmm.
Is John realizing he’s in some sort of fanfic drawn by another character, hence all the people in serene lightbeams at tender but unjustified moments?
Everyone whips their heads around to see, of all people, Aradia hovering in the foyer
Pff
(...I hope Aradia didn’t come here, like, from the postscript.  Where the “action” she talked about might have just been this corpse party.  Because that would be pretty fucking lame.)
KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.
Pfffffffffff
The description of Human Jesus we all had in our hearts, but were too afraid to voice.
Alright, now we see the body we took our eyes off of.  Is it going to get back up, or did it escape earlier?
since nobody was willing to dislodge the huge, otherworldly shard from her chest
My damn god, people.
...alright finally, everyone’s talking.
JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.
JANE STOP BEING A XENOPHOBIC BASTARD
CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason. CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end. CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.
...Huh.  Huuuuhh.  What the fuck is all this for.  Are you saying ROXY caused this? Or...?
Okay I like this reinforcement she’s making in her speech about how different changes can influence how all of this unfolds, gives me hope that maybe these two cliffhangers aren’t all we’re going to be left with and we’ll be able to at least think of an IMPLIED future different from them if we wanted to like we thought about the seemingly-infinite-possibility original ending of Homestuck that I’d rather have been stuck with than this oh god breathe boots
okay there’s the labor going into good distraction
alright corpse get back up
JADE: i am not jade.
Right, so like the black eyes in the postscript suggested this is more just a... vessel for alt!Calliope now?  To give HER a future beyond the one she sacrificed for that black hole business?  And between alt!Callie’s became-the-black-hole nature and Jade’s Spacey Green Sun connection that’s been singularified, she has access to cool Black Hole powers?  And is gonna do cool shit with them in implied future adventures we won’t see while Aradia gleefully watches the carnage?  Huh.
The congregation watches her go, but no one moves to help her, or even looks in her direction. In her wake, she leaves a primal, echoing wail.
Oh my god why wouldn’t they have just a brief discussion or something IT’S NOT THAT BAD  D:
JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you, JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.
Well fuck.  So she just disconfirmed this timeline as... something.  Relevant, possible, I dunno.
JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.
Okay that’s good.  So thanks to alt!Calliope these side timelines where things unfolded differently MAY be preserved.  Pretty fitting given alt!Callie’s origins.
.......unless there’s some other stupid interspecies civil war threat that she’s going to be fighting too, here, when the political situation falls apart.  Dammit.
==>
Terezi talk Terezi talk
-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --
TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.
Oh my GOD.  So alt!Callie kind of “saved” all the doomed ghosts that got swallowed up in the black hole by redirecting them all to THIS UNIVERSE and timeline???????
That’s pretty interesting!  Heck my stomach’s even calming down!
they can’t even be judges! TEREZI: G4SP
Yeah that’s pretty terrible!
...yep, the resistance WOULD put him in charge.  I had a feeling it may have ended up in that direction in Candy since it wasn’t in Meat.
--oh FUCK YOU Jade for splitting up what he had with Karkat before they could sort it out!!! You did the OPPOSITE OF HELP and neither of them are going to end up happy thanks to you! D:<
PFFF wow, John’s so concerned about babby not!Tavros’s living situation that he’s considering legit kidnapping.  That means things must be pretty fucking bad.
--okay Calliope’s still out and about with Roxy instead of being cooped up in her room like in the other timeline, that’s good.
Pff, trying to redeem Ghost Eridan in front of Ghost Feferi.  Yep, that’s Gamzee.
GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...
Gamzee takes out a baby bottle and flicks it, covering them both with little drops of milk, as clergy does with holy water. He then takes a swig from the bottle himself before returning it to his codpiece.
Jesus.  Fucking.  Christ.
I don’t want to believe that what’s in that bottle is what he’s making it sound like it is, but OF COURSE it is.  Why would it be anything else.  I bet there’s not even any Lifey hypnosis going on, it’s just the literal stuff.
The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead.
Jegus fuck stop going whole hog condesce janey
ROXY: lmao you worry too much ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet
ROXY.  WHERE DID YOUR BRAIN GO.  I MISS IT.  YOUR BRAIN WAS THE BEST FUCKING PART OF YOU.
Touching photo.
Alright lemme post split.  I haven’t gotten as far as the last post plowed through since I’ve been typing so much... ah well.
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homestucky · 6 years
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Davekat fic recs?
hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them
also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY
M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE)  is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death 
Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE)  i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!
Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical  (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting. 
To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck  (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;
Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok  (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )
Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717  (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)
The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist  (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot
The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus  (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not  always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess
The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa
Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes. 
three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0
We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised
An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.
turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.
Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly
Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it
Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing
Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu
First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!
Feathered by AlloftheFandom  (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….
Soulmates by egossweetheart  (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,
 Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho
The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….
anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!
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so i know im about a day late but i wanted to say happy new year and a special thank you to everyone who helped make 2018 a good year. ill name a few people here, but this is an in general thank you (i know i dont get on bya a whole lot but ive been busy with work and my licht whos part of isola). thisll get long, but im not putting it under a read more. oh well. yall get to see my gay ass in its entirety.
first, to my husband. hes always supported me making more muses (much to hazy’s dismay), helped me get through drama, and even introduced me to one of the friendliest fandoms ever- the touken ranbu fandom.
I kinda lost track of you and i dont know what blogs are yours, but the izaya I first interacted with, a special thanks to you! I miss rping with you and your muses were all really good! you helped me feel comfortable rping a non homestuck muse and although im not sure you realize it, helped me not give up on tumblr rping.
@kindredconfectionery you indulge my impulse muses and we always have fun. ive had fun with our bya and dirk plot, and youve just in general been a great friend since i met you. ily man. i dont thank you enough and i worry about that. i want you to know how much you mean to me.
@agamemnoncrying the best muku. we dont talk a whole lot cause youre busy but your muku is like, the best ever??? talking about bya and muku to someone who completely understands what i mean is amazing!! it makes me so happy! im so glad i got to meet you and that we rp and are friends. i love you!
@betrayou im tagging your isola sho-chan so youll see this but!! im so glad i met you!! bya and sho’s relationship is fun to talk about, and youve been a great friend and fun to talk to. i really cant put into words how much i love you or how grateful  i am to know you.
@lightning-will-bovino i think you were the first khr blog i interacted with?? for that, im grateful. you also interacted with some of my other muses, and im thankful for that oo
@isoscelesnightmare best bill mun. when i saw you on my dash i got super excited, and im so glad we can feel comfortable enough to talk regularly. you worry about your writing or your this and that, but youre fine, i promise. people will love what you write.
@fulminearcobaleno we’ve rped some, but i love having more people to talk to about khr things. its such a small fandom, that honestly i didnt think id run into anyone. and rping bya, i didnt think id get many more interactions other than “oh my god its bya youre so annoying bya youre so evil just by existing you make my life hell god please die”. but we were able to talk, and plot, and i enjoy our current thread (which ill reply to when bya wakes up from his fuckin nap. stupid rich bitch could at least take me with him when he went on vacation) i love your verde already and youre such a delight to talk to.
@queenharumiura THE QUEEN. i love hearing about haru and us planning the dessert duo interactions. im glad bya has a relatively mundane friend in haru, and someone mostly unaffiliated with the mafia he can be comfortable around. and youre so easy to talk to! 
theres more people i could mention, but this already got pretty long. ^^;; anyway happy new year and i love you guys. i cant tell you guys how grateful  i am to have gotten to rp a different muse and meet all of you people. im looking forward to things settling down a bit more now that the holidays are over and being able to get back to rping bya!
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tired-wolfe · 6 years
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#Fuck_Buckets
A memo board on Pesterchum I was invited to. It was a lot of fun.  I was Kankri, as hashtagWarrior. Which is who I am always on pesterchum, so feel free to hmu if you want to roleplay or chat. 
CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FUCK BUCKETS. CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTC: SpIlL CTC: Or ElSe CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CAC: :33 < thats the secret mew didnt wanna tell me earlipur? CCG banned CEB from responding to memo: [STOP.]. CAC: :33 < hehehehehehehehehehehe CCG banned CAC from responding to memo: [STOP!]. CAC ceased responding to memo. CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCG: OH LOOK, KANKRI IS FINALLY HERE. CCG: HEY KANKRI. CHW: I was spending s9me quality 6u66le time with the 9thers, as in I was misera6le with the 9thers. Hell9, Karkat, and friends. CHW: # S9rry f9r my tardiness CCG: ALL GOOD. YOU ARRIVED JUST IN TIME. CURRENT twiinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTA: oh jeez. CCG: AND BY JUST IN TIME I MEAN RIGHT AS THE CHAOS IS BEGINNING TO SETTLE DOWN A LITTLE. CCG: YOU'RE LUCKY TO BE LATE. CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CAC: :33 < mewr so mean CCG: HUSH. CAC: :33 < it made my whole trollian shut down -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  frowns -- CHW: I see, I guess it pays 9ff t9 spend time with y9ur friends then. CCG: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO DO THAT. CAC: :33 < sure mew didnt karkitty CAC: :33 < also kankri? CHW: Yes? CAC: :33 < i didnt know if that was mew fur sure but hi! CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: i'm back from sipping my water to say, rude. CCG: OKAY, HOLD ON A SEC. CCG: OH WOW. CCG: DON'T SIP YOUR WATER AT ME. CHW: Yes hell9 (:6 CCG: MY THREAT TO SPIT IN IT STILL STANDS. CCG: HOLD ON I NEED TO CHECK SOMETHING. -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  sips water vigourously -- CHW: D9 n9t spit in 9ther pe9ples drinks, Karkat, it is rude. # Rude -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  also does that. -- CCG: YOU'RE RUDE. CHW: H9w am I rude? I try really hard t9 6e sensitive 9f 9thers needs. CCG: BULLSHIT. CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CAT: i AGREE WITH kANKRI, CAT: tHAT WAS PRETTY RUDE, CCG: NO ONE ASKED YOU. GO SHOVE YOUR OPINION UP YOUR ASS AND KEEP IT THERE. CAC: :33 < i think we all do tavpuros CAT: oH,, CCG: INSTANT REGRET. CCG: SORRY TAVROS. CCG: YOU'RE GREAT. CTT ceased responding to memo. CHW: Karkat, I think y9u need t9 have a 6it 9f a time 9ut. G9 sit in a c9rner and think a69ut y9ur acti9ns. CCG: WHAT? CCG: HOLY SHIT. CAT: oH, CAT: tHANKS? CTA: oh 2hiit. CCG: I'M GONNA GO INTO CARDIAC ARREST. CCG: YOU'RE NOT MY DAD. -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  goes over and hugs tavros -- CAT: yOUVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING NICE TO ME BEFORE, CAT: aWW, CTC: MoThErFuCKiNg TimE OuT LikE A ChIlD CHW: I am y9ur dancester and as such, I am y9ur elder, thus, g9 sit in a c9rner. CTA: KK ju2t got put iintwo tiime out, thii2 ii2 fuckiing awe2ome. CCG: MAKE ME. CTC: WhO CAnT HAvE NuMbErS CHW: #will 6e y9ur lusus if I have t9 6e CHW: #d9 i s9und like p9rrim? CHW: #9h n9 -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  grabs Karkat by the ear and drags him to a corner -- CHW: Sit d9wn and stay CCG: I'M LAUGHIGNGFJIHORE -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  is loving this -- CCG: WHAT THE FUCK CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTG: hahaha CHW: C:6 CURRENT gardenGnostic104 [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CGG: sorry, guys, but i have to go CTG: shouty got put in time out CAC: :33 < awh bye jade! -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  even more aggressive water sipping. -- CEB: perfect. CEB: later jade! CGG: bye! -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  walks out of the fucking corner and takes John's water. -- CGG ceased responding to memo. CCG: FUCK ALL OF YOU. CHW: If y9u'd st9p 6eing rude, y9u c9uld leave time 9ut. CCG: I AM LEAVING TIME OUT. CAC: :33 < he might be there fur a while CHW: Y9u'd 6etter 6ehave. CCG: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. CTA: he never doe2 that. CHW: I will literally sit 9n y9u CCG: OH WOW, I'M QUAKING AT THAT THREAT. CCG: SCAAAARY. CAC: :33 < 'quaking' CCG: DON'T. CAT: sIT ON HIM! -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  snorts -- CTA: 2hook. CCG: FEAR. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  pushes Karkat down and sits on him, sipping tea -- CCG: JOHN? HELP. CCG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHW: C;6 CCG: WH CAC: :33 < hes not gonna help mew CHW: I'm a g99d dancest9r CEB: i'm sorry i can't help, i'm dehydrated because you took my water. -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  smacks Kankri in the back of the head. Bonk! -- -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  glares and flicks Karkats nose -- CHW: D9 n9t test me CCG: I'LL BITE YOU. CCG: OH I'M TESTING YOU. I'M ABSOLUTELY QUIZZING YOU. CCG: GET OFF. CHW: We will have a full 9n Vantas against Vantas fight, I pr9mise. CHW: N9. 6ehave and Ill c9nsider it CAT: aAAHH! a SPIDER! CCG: HEYYY KANKRI? CAT: i GOTTA GO, CCG: ARE YOU TICKLIS- CAT ceased responding to memo. CCG: HOLY FUCK WHAT CCG: IS TAVROS OK? CHW: 6ye Tavr9s CEB: another one? CHW: I am n9t ticklish. CCG: ANYWAYS, KANKRI. ARE YOU TICKLISH? CEB: where are they all coming from. CCG: GOD DAMN IT. CHW: N9t at all. CHW: N9pe CHW: # D9nt y9u dare CCG: HM. -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  reaches towards Kankri. -- CAC: :33 < ahhh CHW: Y9u will make me 6reak s9 many 9f my 9wn rules if y9u keep this- N9  N9 N9! -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  tickles that little weirdo. -- -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  Tries t9 gra6 y9ur hands t9 st9p -- -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  starts laughing and squriming trying to stop you -- CHW: PLEASE G9D N9 ST9P ST9P! CAC: :33 < this is inpurresting CEB: i feel like i need popcorn. -- CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG]  casually sips a martini -- -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  continues tickling him until, eventually, Kankri ends up on the ground, and Karkat is a free man no longer being sat on. -- CCG: THIS IS YOUR FAULT. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  is a panting wheezing heap on the floor, curled around himself -- CHW: H9w dare y9u CHW: #Seri9usly -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  flips him off. -- CHW: Y9u have n9 respect f9r pers9nal space CCG: NEITHER DO YOU! CHW: # What are y9u, an Amp9ra CCG: YOU WERE LITERALLY *SITTING ON M- CCG: ... CCG: EXCUSE ME? CHW: 6ecause y9u were mis6ehaving and as y9ur elder its my j96 t9 c9rrect y9u CTA: wow, that wa2 har2h, even by my 2tandard2. CAC: :33 < i smell another ship CCG: HUH? CCG: WHAT SHIP? -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  was shocked he wasn't banned for that one )xB -- CAC: :33 < not mew CTA: what me? CAC: :33 < no! CTG: 5epeta CTG: *neeta CTG: **nepeta CHW: What is the new ship, Nepeta? CTC: WhO CAC: :33 < a shipper nevfur reveals pur secrets CTG: vantascest is going a bit too far CAC: :33 < its not vantacest CCG: I CCG: I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE. CTG: thats gkood CTG: *jood CTG: **good CAC: :33 < it has nothing to do with karkitty CCG: I'M SERIOUSLY NOT TRYING TO TAKE A SWING AT MY DANCESTOR, ROXY, THANKS. CCG: HORRIFYING. CCG: EVERYONE HERE IS TERRIBLE. CHW: I really am curi9us 9n wh9 it is y9u are refering t99.. I h9nestly have n9 interest in quadrants. CHW: #Except, may6e.. CAC: :33 < it was the comment kankri made on a fishy ill say that much CHW: 9h- 9h 9H CAC: :33 < hehehe CHW: N9 N9 N9 N9N9N9N9N9N9N9N9 CHW: D9 N9T CHW: SHIP ME CHW: WITH HIM CEB: i don't even know all that quadrant stuff... CAC: :33 < already have b33n! -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  flames in eyes  -- CCG: YEAH, SERIOUSLY, DON'T. CCG: CRONUS IS A DICK. CTG: t:3t CHW: CR9NUS IS AN INSECURE PERVERT CAC: :33 < theyre purrfect though~ CTA: what an iin2ult, 2hiippiing wiith an ampora. CHW: HE HAS A6S9LUTELY N9 RESPECT F9R ANYTHING 9THER THAN HIMSELF CCG: KANKRI DESERVES BETTER THAN SOMEONE LIKE CRONUS, STEP OFF. CAC: :33 < oh sollux i got one fur mew too CCG: YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INTO A DISAGREEMENT WITH TWO WHOLE VANTASES, DO YOU? CTA: plea2e dont. CAC: :33 < no but its just my opinion CCG: YOUR OPINION ISN'T VALID ANYMORE. CHW: Cr9nus is, 6y far, a l9ng stretch. I w9uld have preferred just a69ut any 9ther ship c9nsidering me and my friends. CTA: your opiiniion ii2 wrong. CAC: :33 < but i do find it funny mew got all defensive CCG: SOLLUX. CHW: Wh9 W9ULDNT get defensive?? CCG: SAVE ME. CTA: KK. CAC: :33 < sure CTA: what do you want me two do, kiill you? not much ii can do, al2o beiing 2tuck iin thii2 2iituatiion. CCG: JOHN. CCG: SAVE ME. CEB: mmmmmaybe. CCG: PLEASE. CHW: He is disrespectful, never listens t9 me when I try t9 tell him things, always t9uching with9ut asking, 9r given permissi9n, hes just, 9ver all a really gr9ss guy. And thats saying s9mething c9nsidering I w9uld have c9nsidered any9ne else 6ef9re him. CCG: NEPETA, LISTEN TO KANKRI. CAC: :33 < no one evpur likes when i talk about ships so why do mew all think i k33p them to myself CHW: I need s9me9ne wh9'd understand that I really d9n't enj9y physical c9ntact 9n a regular 6asis.. -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  crosses arms -- CHW: Im just asking that y9u put m9re th9ught int9 y9ur ships, it isn't fair t9 ship s9me9ne with s9me9ne wh9 w9uld 6e p9ssi6ly, t9 s9me extent, 9r t9 a high extent in this case, t9xic. CCG: EXACTLY. CCG: I HAVE A BIAS AGAINST CRONUS BECAUSE HE'S A TOXIC MOTHERFUCKER. CAC: :33 < people ship karkitty and eridan CCG: THEY WHAT CHW: I d9n't even like P9rrim c9ddling me, 6ut I w9uld have a 6etter chance surviving a relati9nship with her than Cr9nus. CAC: :33 < what do mew have to say about that CTA: iim 2orry for your lo22, KK. CHW: They d9? H9w, ah, unf9rtunate f9r Karkat. CCG: I ... CCG: I'M SHIPPED WITH EVERYONE. I'M LITERALLY THE MOST SHIPPED PERSON OUT OF US ALL, DUDE. CAC: :33 < yeah and they ship you with literally everyone CCG: YEAH. CCG: EXACTLY. CAC: :33 < like kankri and dirk CAC: :33 < thats a thing CHW: Wait- 'y9u' as in Karkat, 9r y9u as in, me? CAC: :33 < fur some reason CAC: :33 < you CCG: OH, I'M SHIPPED WITH DIRK? ODD. CHW: They ship me with a human I've never met? CAC: :33 < yup CTG: mi shipped with like) CTG: every single one of my friends CTG: *im CHW: ...W-wait wait wait?? CHW: D9 they- ship me with, .. Kurl9z???? CAC: :33 < meow mew should tell me how much i should think about my ships! CAC: :33 < yes they do! CEB: i try not to look at that stuff. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  shivers run down his spine as his normally hot blood goes cold -- CCG: STOP. CAC: :33 < i dont control i just add CCG: DON'T MAKE HIM THINK ABOUT KURLOZ. CAC: :33 < he asked CCG: EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT SHIPS. THIS IS GOING BAD. CHW: I'm g9ing t9 have s9me seri9us nightmares CAC: :33 < mewr own fault CHW: I d9n't kn9w h9w I'm g9ing t9 ever face any 9f my friends again kn9wing every interacti9n is 6eing put thr9ugh a quadrant lense. CHW: # celi6acy 4 life CHW: 9r rather CHW: # celi6acy 4 afterlife CAC: :33 < mew shoulve already known that the shipping unipurse is nevfur ending -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  smacks his face into his own desk -- CHW: Karkat d9n't hurt y9urself! Are y9u 9kay? -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  rushes over to check your face -- -- CURRENT twiinArmageddons [CTA]  aggressive sighing. -- CCG: THIS CONVERSATION GAVE ME A LUNG DISORDER. CCG: JOHN WHERE YOU AT? CEB: me mum's car. CEB: no. CHW: This c9nversati9n has given me s9me heart issues, and s9me seri9us 6rain cancer CAC: :33 < get out me car CHW: # 9h- wait CHW: # That c9uld 6e 9ffensive CHW: Im s9 s9rry if that triggered any 9f y9u- CCG: DID YOU JUST MAKE A CANCER JOKE? CEB: i mean like did you just want my attetion or just actually want to know where i am? CHW: That was very a6lest 9f me CCG: RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? CHW: yes CHW: Im s9 s9rry CCG: I'M... CCG: T R I G G E R E D CHW: Im s9 s9 s9 s9rry CAC: :33 < oh no CEB: god damn. CAC: :33 < karkitty got triggered by the one who is supposed to watch out fur triggers CTG: 0w0 CAC: :33 < this is escalating CHW: Ah, I- I'd 9ffer t9 g9 get y9ur m9irail, 6ut I th9ught y9u and Gamzee were m9irails, and hes in here s9- -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  smdh -- CCG: THIS GAMZEE ISN'T EVEN THE ONE FROM MY TIMELINE. CCG: AND I THINK HE KILLED VRISKA. CHW: 9h- Im, s9 s9rry- really CCG: MY GAMZEE IS OFFLINE RIGHT NOW. TRAGIC. CHW: I am CHW: s9 s9 s9 s9rry -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  slowly glances down at his sweater bearing the Cancer symbol on it. -- CCG: YOU BETTER BE. CHW: H9w can I help y9u thr9ugh y9ur panic attack that I certainly 6r9ught 9n y9u- Im- Im s9 s9 s9rry CCG: OH. CCG: MY UH CCG: OH RIGHT CCG: UM CCG: YOU CAN'T. YOU'VE KILLED ME. I'M DYING. CEB: nooo karkat! CHW: W-well, ah, I can 9ffer this 6it 9f c9mf9rt, the, ah, dream 6u66les aren't s9 6ad 9nce y9u get used t9 them.. CTG: shouty- CHW: ):6 CAC: :33 < rip CHW: Y9u c9uld even stay in my hive with me if y9ud like? I have a spare r99m 9r tw9- CHW: Its, actually.. quite l9nely -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  whispers 'this is why mew should listen to ships' -- CCG: I CCG: YEAH, SURE. CCG: I'M DOWN. CHW: Alright, I will ah, clean up 9ne 9f the r99ms f9r y9u, make sure they aren't dusty if r99ms even can get dusty here- and y9u can make it h9wever y9u w9uld like. It w9uld 6e nice t9 have s9me9ne living with me. Th9ugh I will warn y9u, I am a nightmare t9 wake up, s9, please d9 n9t try t9 distur6 me when I'm sleeping. I get really, ah, as.. p9rrim, puts it.. Kranky.. CAC: :33 < kranky kankri CHW: I c9uld even sh9w y9u my arsenal , if y9u'd 6e interested in such a thing. Please d9 n9t call me that, Nepeta. It is 6ad en9ugh when P9rrim d9es.. CCG: N-NOTED. CAC: :33 < sorry it was just a lil funny CHW: I see why it w9uld 6e amusing t9 9thers, 6ut as it has 6ec9me a name used t9 hurt me, like... insuffera6le.. I w9uld prefer n9t t9 have such a name called t9 me. CAC: :33 < oh oops -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  is visibly torn between reassurring Kankri that he's not insufferable, or telling him that he is. The Karkat Struggle(tm). -- CCG: THIS IS A MESS. CEB: . CHW: # I w9uld understand if y9u did... # I did make a triggering j9ke... CEB: :B CCG: JOHN. CHW: # I really am insuffera6le... CEB: yes? CCG: OH GOD DAMN IT. CCG: YOU'RE NOT INSUFFERABLE, KANKRI, SHUT. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  considering joining sweater town population Kankri  -- -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  me -- -- CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG]  joins sweater town gleefully -- -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  also joins sweater town. -- -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  pulls sweater over head, hiding in it -- CHW: # sweater t9wns getting cr9wded -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  windsock town. -- -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  hat town -- CTG: ive never seen nep wear a sweater ebfore CTG: *before CAC: :33 < its my trench coat or my beanie that i can hide in CHW: If I get really desperate, I hide in my pants in my sweater. Extra pr9tecti9n. # high pants f9r the win CCG: PERTURBING, THANKS. CAC: :33 < legendary leggings CHW: I l9ve my leggings s9 much they are s9 c9mf9rta6le -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  just thought about it, when you two joined sweater town, did you join my sweater town, or your own ?_? -- -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  has no idea -- -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  has his own sweater and has started his own Sweater Town. -- -- CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG]  joined kankris sweater town -- CHW: Sweater t9wn is trademarked, y9u must rename 9r rel9cate Karkat -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  is grinning  -- CCG: FUCK OFF. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  is blushing at Roxy being in his sweater with him, but isn't pushing her away -- CCG: THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR ME AND ROXY IN YOUR SWEATER TOWN SO I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO START MY OWN. CHW: We c9uld stretch the fa6ric- alth9ugh, P9rrim w9uld pr96a6ly send me t9 a d9u6le death CTG: wait CHW: 6ut y9ur s9 small it sh9uldn't 6e t9 6ig a deal CCG: I'M GOOD. CTG: does tihs mean were sharing a sweater CHW: Yes CTG: *this -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  turns his fucking head around -- CCG: DID YOU JUST CALL ME SMALL? CTG: oh CTG: eh CHW: I ah, y9u are sh9rter than a l9t 9f pe9ple, Karkat -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  stares. -- CEB: i'm just over here in my windsock. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  hides back in sweater town -- -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  is no longer here as hes in sweater town, come back later -- CHW: # sweater t9wn is nice this time 9f year CTG: its very cweaty CTG: *Sweaty CCG: SHORT? SHORT! I CAN'T *FUCKING* BELIEVE THAT WORD JUST LEFT YOUR MOUTH? DO YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF HARM YOU'VE CAUSED? CTG: woank wonk CCG: THE NEXT TIME YOU SAY SUCH DAMAGING THINGS TO ME WE'LL BE ON THE SET OF DR. PHIL, I GUARANTEE YOU THAT. CTG: *wonk CAC: :33 < mewr taller than me CCG: DO YOU HAVE EVEN THE VAGUEST COMPREHENSION OF WHAT PAINFUL MEMORIES YOU'VE RESURFACED, KANKRI? CHW: Its a fact, n9t an 9pini9n, Karkat, I- .. I'm s9rry it upset y9u, 6ut it w9uld 6e like, calling me thin? I am? CEB: short. CCG: YOUR INSENSITIVITY *BAFFLES* ME. CCG: HOW HIDEOUSLY OPPRESSIVE. CCG: "SHORT" IS A HURTFUL AND FRANKLY DEROGATORY TERM. -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  is deliberately saying things Kankri would probably say. -- CHW: H9w w9uld y9u descri6e y9ur height then, Karkat? CCG: *FINE!* CCG: I WOULD DESCRIBE MY HEIGHT AS FINE. CTG: under average CCG: AVERAGE! CTG: uh CTG: i mean fine CCG: FUCK OFF ROXY. CTG: yeah CTG: sorry shouts -- CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG]  does the paps -- CHW: Its. ah- n9t quite what I image as average, 6ut, ah, 9kay. If thats what y9ud prefer me t9 call it. then, yes. Y9u are "average" CEB: someone just messaged me and said there was a bucket behind me, guys i'm worried. CCG: AWKWARD SILENCE. CEB: help. CCG: NO. CEB: damn it. CCG:  CHOKE. CEB: :B CTG: ;3 CCG: N...NO. CEB: ;B CTG: wonk CTG: wonk CAC: :33 < karkitty burnt chicken nuggets CCG: GOD DAMN IT. CHW: I w9uld suggest ign9ring the p9ssi6le 6ucket as it in itself isn't g9ing t9 f9rce y9u t9 d9 anything, and instead f9cus 9n wh9 put it there and why. 6ut, then again, 6uckets might genuinely just 6e upsetting t9 y9u, s9 9nce y9u are f9r sure that n9 9ne else is ar9und, I w9uld disp9se 9f it. CCG: NEPETA, WHY?- CAC: :33 < i dunno i felt like exposing mew CCG: FUCKER. CAC: :33 < hehe CEB: i don't even know who the troll was that put it there, they just came in, asked me about karkat, told me there was a bucket behind me and pissed off. CHW: I see, yes, I certainly w9uld suggest getting rid 9f the 6ucket s9meh9w. CCG: THEY ASKED ABOUT ME AND PUT A BUCKET BEHIND YOU? CCG: FEAR. CEB: still wanna choke me? or should i just yeet this bucket somewhere. CCG: HOLY FUCK -- CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG]  wonks in the distance -- CHW: # Ew CCG: YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. CCG: JOHN. CCG: I'M FUCKING LOSING MY MIND. CEB: oh shit. CCG: THIS IS A *MEMO*. CCG: DID YOU FORGET? CEB: oh no, i know full well. CCG: I CCG: ALRIGHTY THEN. CHW: J9hn if y9u want an audience, at least make sure the audience is wanting y9u. And, I kn9w f9r 9ne, I d9 n9t wish t9 see any9ne engage in such acts, much less with Karkat. It'd 6e, very awkward f9r me. CEB: i'm not being serious, i am a jester. CCG: RIGHT. CEB: my prankster's gambit is through the roof. FDC ceased responding to memo. CCG: YOU CAN SAY YOU'RE JOKING ALL YOU WANT BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH. CTG: this is incredibly siqlly CEB: what're you gonna do huh? expose me? you have no proof. CTG: *silly CCG: I HAVE ALL THE PROOF. CEB: that's not me, fool. CCG: MMMMMHM. CCG: WHATEVER YOU SAY. CEB: i have said nothing. CEB: my words are an illusion. CCG: YOU HAVE SAID *SO MUCH*. CHW: Haha CTG: i wish i ddint see this memo CCG: ME TOO. CTG: thats dhy i drink CHW: I ah, I feel s9me things a69ut this mem9. CTG: *hwy CTG: **why CEB: you made this memo karkat! CCG: AND I REGRET IT. CHW: I feel like that happens a l9t t9 y9u. CHW: I kn9w I tried t9 make a few mem9s during 9ur game.. And ah, a l9t 9f my friends w9uld just, wreck it. FUTURE carcinoGenesis [FCG] 69:00 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. FCG: DID YOU GUYS FORGET I WAS HERE? BECAUSE I'M STILL HERE, AND I'M WATCHING, AND I'M NOT LIKING. FCG: JOHN AND PAST ME BETTER BEHAVE. CEB: oh! hi future-kat. CCG: FUCK OFF KARKAT. CHW: Y9u kn9w if y9u d9 6ehave 9r n9t, Future Karkat, s9, d9 y9u? C:6 CHW: Please say yes FCG: ..... FCG: I THINK I'M GONNA...GO WATCH A ROMCOM. FCG: BYE. CCG: EXCUSE ME? CTC: I LikE fuTuRe YoU BetTeR CEB: w o w. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  mouth drops open to form an O.  -- CCG: I FORGOT GAMZEE WAS HERE. CCG: I'M A LITTLE SCARED. CHW: D9es this mean y9u d9 6ehave 9r d9es this mean y9u and J9hn get gr9ss? What d9es that mean? Als9, Gamzee, rude. CTC: Im MoThER fUcKiNg WaTcHiNG CHW: # Rude -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  also a bit more tense, knowing Gamzees watching. -- CCG: I'M NOT GOING WITHIN A FIVE YARD RADIUS OF JOHN. CEB: i'm not getting gross with karkat. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  glad that Kurloz isn't around -- FCG: DEBATABLE. CCG: DIE. CAC: :33 <  /me eats ice cream and lurks CTC: WhAtS tHe GaY SeCrEt ThEn CHW: Telling a future y9u t9 die is, kind 9f risky CCG: WHAT GAY SECRET? CAC: :33 < how did that not work CAC: :33 < that mew like dave? CCG: ??? CCG: I'M LOST. CHW: D9 y9u like the Dave human, Karkat? CCG: CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT DAVE? CAC: :33 < oh he so does CTC: CEB: dave knows sure as hell how gay he is ;B CCG: HOHLY SHIHFG CCG: SHUT HT EFUK UP CCG: SHUT THE FUCK UP. CAC: :33 < YEWS CAC: :33 < YES CCG: NONO NO NO NONO CCG: JOHN CAC: :33 < john thank mew CEB: that's what you get for calling me gay. CCG: JOHN. CCG: DON'T SAY ANYTHING. CCG: STOP! CTG: shouty ive heard your pretty gay CCG: IT'S A SECRET, OKAY? CCG: NO. CCG: DIE. CCG: FEAR. CHW: 99f CEB: h CCG: JOHN, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  *has no fear* -- FCG: I WISH I KILLED MYSELF AT THAT MOMENT. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  *now has one fear* -- CEB: i'd say i'm sorry but i don't know how sorry i am. CTC: ArNt YoU DatInG diRk BrO? CCG: ???? CCG: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? CAC: :33 < ew what CCG banned CHW from responding to memo: [OUT.]. CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FUCK BUCKETS.
---As I was kicked here, I didn’t see what happened in between me logging back into the memo---
CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FUCK BUCKETS. CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCG: ESPECIALLY YOU, GAMZEE. CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CAC: :33 < kankri can mew control him CHW: I was 699ted? CCG banned CTC from responding to memo: [OUT.]. CHW: what happened? CCG: I DON'T KNOW. CCG: I KICKED LIKE EVERYONE. CCG: BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL BEING WACK. CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: i'm surprised you didn't ban me. CAC: :33 < he got huffy because we talked about him liking dave CHW: Y9u kicked every9ne? CCG banned CTC from responding to memo: [STOP COMING BACK!]. CHW: Rude Memo is now Invite-Only by CCG CCG banned CTC from responding to memo. CCG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE. CCG: ALRIGHT. CURRENT twiinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTA: holy 2hiit.
--- My pester crashed, so I lost some more of the conversation ---
CHW RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FUCK BUCKETS. CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CCG: KANKRI DON'T LEAVE. CHW: Clicked the wr9ng 6utt9n that time CCG: OK. CHW: C9nnecti9n is 6eing dum6 CHW: I d9nt, understand why this is reacting s9 mean it didn't like the kick CHW: I sh9uld 6e g99d n9w CHW: I had t9 mess ar9und with the huskt9p it is s9 picky. And dream 6u66le internet isn't rela6le.. CCG: GAMZEE JUST TOLD ME TO BE MY GAY SELF. CHW: 9h? CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CAC: :33 < be mewr gay self karkitty CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: we support you. CCG: I'M NOT GAY. CCG: I'M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, JOHN. CEB: you trolls are at least a little gay. CCG: ONE HUNDRED PERCENT STRAIGHT. CAC: :33 < stop lying -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  laughing my whole ass off. It's on the floor now. -- CCG: I'M NOT LYING. CCG: JOHN YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE A CHOKING "JOKE". CEB: the life of a jester is a hard one. FUTURE carcinoGenesis [FCG] 69:00 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo. FCG: YA'LL SUCK. CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTG: evedryone is a little gay john CEB: the trolls are. CCG: AND YOU. CEB: where is your proof sir you have none. CCG: BET. CCG: PROOF: I EXIST. CEB: my apparent homosexuality brough karkat into existence. i'm so powerful. CCG: SMARTASS. CEB: :B -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  trying not to laugh -- -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  glares at Kankri. -- CCG: JOHN NEEDS TO SHUT UP. CHW: It's just all a 6it silly, t9 fight 9ver this CEB: sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. CCG: NOT THIS SHIT. CAC: :33 < oof CCG: TROLLS DON'T EVEN *DO* SEXUALITY. I ONLY KNOW WHAT GAY *MEANS* FROM YOU AND DAVE! CEB: 1. thanks for that and 2. dave is very gay. CAC: :33 < he really is CCG: 1) YOU'RE WELCOME AND 2) I KNOW. CAC: :33 < of course mew would -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  wiggles eyebrows -- CCG: I ... -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  Wheezing. -- CCG: I'M GOING TO VORE EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR. CCG: TO QUOTE DAVE. CTG: wonk CTG: wonk CTG: wonk CEB: he's so weird. CCG: AGREED. CCG: GOOD THING I *LOATHE* HIM. CAC: :33 < love* CCG: LOATHE. CHW: He's said that? Thats, ah, intense. -- CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC]  sighs -- CCG: JOHN, GO TO DMS FOR A SECOND... CHW: I will 6e right 6ack, s9mething came up and I need t9 g9 tend t9 it, it sh9uld 9nly take a c9uple 9f m9ments. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  goes to take care of business -- CCG: ALRIGHT. CEB: okay! CCG: ANYWAYS, JOHN FELL RIGHT INTO MY TRAP. CCG: I HAVE PROOF NOW. CAC: :33 < oki CCG: THANKS, JOHN, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON. CEB: god damn it. CCG: AHAHAHAH. CEB: you fool. CCG: I'M NO FOOL, YOU'RE THE FOOL! CCG: I ENTRAPPED YOU. CEB: i will obliterate your shins. CCG: I'M POSTING THE LOGS. CCG: YOU CAN'T STOP ME. CEB: i'm gonna do it. CEB: here i come, after your shins. CCG: SO AM I. CCG: YOU CAN'T CATCH THESE LEGS. CCG: I'M POSTING THE FUCKING LOGS HERE GOES: CCG: [03:17] CG: SMOOCH SMOOCH. [03:18] EB: fucking uwu mwah. CCG: YOU ARE *NOT* STRAIGHT. CTG: holy shit CTG: i knew it CCG: YEAH ME TOO. CEB: how else is one supposed to respond to getting smooched at okay?? CTG: whoa CTG: what the fuck CTG: shoutoy and windsock jake? CTG: *shouty CCG: YOU ALSO CALLED A PICTURE OF US CUTE. -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  Turns into mist. I'm mist kin now. -- CCG: COWARD. -- CURRENT ectoBiologists [CEB]  The Mist cannot communicate. -- CCG: REST IN PIECES. CTG: lol CEB: i can't frown with my emoji so i'm just gonna :( CCG: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BUT I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO SAY IT IN FRONT OF THESE FUCKERS SO BACK TO DMS I GO FOR ONE (1) SECOND. CAC: :33 < i gotta go CCG: OH FUCK, OKAY. CAC: :33 < byeeee CCG: BYE NEPETA! CEB: bye nepeta! CCG: JINX. CTG: bye nep CAC ceased responding to memo. CHW: I'm sad I missed saying g99d6ye t9 nepeta. 6ut I have returned (:6 CCG: WELCOME BACK. CEB: ey! CTG: this is getting quite boring CCG: AGREED. CHW: Thank y9u, and it is getting quite repetitive CCG: IT WAS FUN WHEN IT WAS CHAOTIC. -- CURRENT hashtagWarrior [CHW]  in a way to try to revive that chaotic spirit, looks over at Sollux -- CCG: THINK IT'S TIME TO DELETE THE MEMO? -- CURRENT carcinoGenesis [CCG]  also looks at Sollux. -- CHW: G9t anything t9 add, I kn9w Mituna is pretty g99d at stirring things up CURRENT twiinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTA: ii CHW: S9, n9thing really? CTA: ii don't know ii've been put on the 2pot. CHW: 9h, I see, n9t a sp9t light dancer then, thats 9kay. I supp9se this mem9 has run its c9urse, 6ut I'll 6e sad t9 let it g9, as it's 6een fun and the 6u66les are quite l9nely. CCG: HOW ABOUT... CCG: WE AGREE TO MAKE ANOTHER MEMO SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE WHEN EVERYONE IS HERE AGAIN? CTG: sounds good CTA: that work2 for me. CHW: That w9uld 6e great. Always dm me if y9u want, I'm always ar9und, and when Im n9t, I'll get right 6ack t9 y9u. CCG: GREAT. CCG: NOTED. CCG: SEE YOU, NERDS. CHW: G99d6ye, and enj9y y9urselves. CEB: i'm always down for chatting! bye everyone! CCG banned CEB from responding to memo: [BOOP.]. CCG banned CTG from responding to memo: [BOOP X2.]. CCG banned CTA from responding to memo: [BOOP X3.]. CCG banned CHW from responding to memo: [BOOP X4.].
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tropicalgoon · 5 years
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Spoilers for the Homestuck Epilogue below.
First things first, i had caught up reading Homestuck on the exact day the Gigapause started (10/16/13). So long pauses and people arguing about canon was pretty common. Then the comic ended but later we got snapchats. Once the snapchats started coming people were unsure how ‘canon’ the snapchats were. Also    
i was surprised with how fast the rest of the Epilogue came out. I figured it would have been drip fed like the comic was but reading it now i can see why that was not the case. If you haven't read the Epilogue i have one thing to say.
PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT WARNINGS THEY ARE NOT JOKES.
With that out the way, i think the biggest shift in the Epilogue vs the actual comic is that everything is way more mature. While Homestuck was full of angsty, snarky teens and a lot of jokes, ironic and not, the Epilogue overall has a more somber, powerless mood to it.
Also one more thing, i do not have a fav character or ship. So that might be why im upset about how it is.
Now i read the Candy choice first so ill talk about that. Now as soon as i saw the juju i knew it was going to have an effect. And i was right, the juju makes people feel okay with their surroundings and so when John ate it he felt at ease with the chaos his life and friends were becoming. But hoo boy did everyone suck all around. 
i knew Gamzee was gonna be back and i was not wrong. i think the whole iVe bEeN GeTtIn mY MoThErFuCkIn rEdEmPtIoN On sO EvErYtHiN I Do iS GoOd was a funny bit but maaaaaan did it get a lil crazy. Jake has always been a doormat and easily manipulated. So nothing too new there but it was nice when he ran off with lil tavros. Also i guess hes the earth c equivalent to a kardashian.
 It really surprised me how fast Roxy got together with John. In fact the Candy Roxy is way different than the meat Roxy. i guess thats the juju at work. Rose was sick with an “illness” but soon after the candy was ate she got “better”. What actually happened was she stopped trying to open her mind to the infinite degree and just let herself live in the moment and be truly happy. It was nice to see her and Kanaya have a happy life, at least until everything went bad. As for Dirk i felt bad for him because he always had that whole meta textual self importance thing going on so when he offed himself i was like oh no. Its nice that him and Dave had bro-sesions.
And now time to talk about Jade, Dave, and Karkat. It feels like Dave and Karkat have mostly stayed the same with a few big differences.1) they both are a little less insufferable, 2) Karkat has accepted he is a leader and 3) their tip toeing around relationships was kinda annoying. Which brings me to Jade. She was butting into all three of their relationships trying to force them to admit feelings. While ive seen some people say Hussie killed Jade i personally dont think so. Jade was always a headstrong, stubborn person who would go after what she wanted and i mean she was on an island by herself for most of her life if she wants to have fun let her. 
Jane really went off the deep end. Which i dont think was so far off her canon personality in the comic. Her denying being xenophobic while being incredibly xenophobic was funny but also pretty real. While i didnt like they way she interacted with Jake it honestly fits in with what happens in the comic. (the trickster stuff, the crockercorp kidnapping). Her whole shadowy rise to hidden power was inevitable also i feel like she was really echoing the Condense on earth. Allowing Gamzee to spread his faith while funneling her wealth and fame into passing the policies and laws she wants. I do not think its out of character for her and Dirk to hate trolls since their lives were so affected by them. 
Johns depression clouding his judgement and making him not want to react was sad to read. It really felt like he was just drifting around, letting all of the situations and chaos just wash over him. So when he was talking to Terezi and she helped him make sense of things it was a nice turn of pace.
Speaking of Terezi, its sad how long she went chasing after (Vriska). As of this moment i dont really think the quadrant system is really in place anymore (at least relationships with humans in it). With John and Terezi talking to each other it really felt like blackrom.  “1F 1 W3R3 3V3R TO DO BL4CKROM 4G41N, 1T WOULD H4V3 TO B3 LOW K3Y”. It is sad her obsession with finding (Vriska) led to her dying in the void.
Seeing Aradia and Sollux was a surprise but they really didnt add much to anything (esp. Sollux). It was kinda funny how much of a dickhead Cade (Calliope Jade) was towards her. Cade was interesting. i really feel like she acts like she did in the comic. 
(Vriska) returning was also not a surprise. She THE most known character. Of course she would be back, but not by her own accord. She wants the spotlight, she HAS to have it. Now that she is trapped on earth c she is now out of canon and so she is out of the spotlight. Thats why she was wailing about needing to SEE it. I think its kinda funny she ends up having a quick fling with Gamzee, and he tries to sell her on his redemption arc bullshit. It really shows how far her obsession has let her fall.
And now its time for meat. Honestly im glad i read candy first because meat was really nice to read after candy. As i said with candy, i figured meat would be the more active of the two (duality like the cherubs). 
First off it was really nice to see how much Dave believes in Karkat and how he thinks Karkat would be leader earth c NEEDS. In Meat they still have their relationship drama with themselves and Jade. I really feel like shes slightly more direct in this one. After the blowup 
John dealing with Roses instructions, finding and bringing together the younger versions of themselves so they could go fight a younger Caliborn and getting sucked into the the house juju was not a surprise since its been theorized thats what would happen. Of course Rose did not warn him, or even tell him what to do. Even when the younger versions of Johns friends die and get hurt he still tries to save them. 
Jake is a very powerful figure in the new earth, he doesnt even realize it. Which leads to everyone trying to get him on their sides. I honestly feel like this is partly his page powers (but then again the classes and aspects dont mean all that much) but he has always been unconfrontational and a doormat. Dirk, Jane, Dave, and Karkat only want to use him for his ass and fame so they can further their agendas. 
i think its rather fitting that (Vriska) doesnt get to see how the battle against Lord English ended. It was GREAT to see Davepetasprite^2 make a comeback and fight Lord English. She KNOWS the final battle isnt her battle but she is still THE ONE who turns the tide. She’s the one who has brought the winning piece so its still a victory of hers by proxy. Also she does not have the talk with Vriska (rose and kanayas kid) on a clown throw pillow so she does not get to do the self reflection she needs. Instead she gets sucked into a black hole.
The Jane and Dirk combo was not surprising, they both had the hangups about Jake and i feel like it ended the same way. Once they got what they wanted it was no longer exciting, or mysterious. But reading the political sabotage and Dirks plans coming together made me realize he was using her for his own gains too. 
Now the whole Rose dying because her physical body couldn't contain the infiniteness of infinity was truly heartbreaking. Especially when Dirk was fucking with Kanaya. i do not know how much of Rose was being manipulated by Dirk and how much was her wanting to end her chronic suffering(2real4me). Addressing all of the....implications around those two. i really do not think they ran off to be together. i believe Rose is the first person Dirk has really connected with on a actual personal level. From what ive seen he does not really treat people as well... people. I think him and Rose are feeling the, “i am the only real person here and everyone else is a puppet” feeling John and Terezi was talking about. But unlike John, Dirk was never one to sit idly by, hes a mechanic after all. All the pieces have to be in place.
The whole bit with Cade and dirk taking control of the narrative was something i feel like has been building up for a long while. The unreliable narrator has been established a few times in the comic, in friendsim, and now in the epilogue. But it does raise a good question about who has been narrating the story and can they be trusted to give us the truth. We saw Dirk acknowledge that he is not unbiased and says things as he sees it. Cade says shes unbiased and just gives the whole truth but all i can think about is how she made Jane carefully cradle the juju and put it on the mantle. Watching Dirk outsmart Cade was defiently exciting to read. I cannot wait to see where all of this is leading to. 
Do i think thats the end of both of Davepetasprite^2 and Lord English? No, as the comic has always said,” Don’t turn your back on the body.” We dont know where they ended up but we’ll just have to wait for more to come out and i cant wait. Does Rose, Dirk, and Terezi (i guess) have an agenda, yes. Do i have any goddamn idea what that is? Nope, and im fine with that. Overall i enjoyed both of them.
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thelifetimechannel · 6 years
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This week’s bonus content brings us Jake and John discussing the likelihood of  a robot apocalypse:
JAKE: Hey there pal! JAKE: So youre jades... brother? JOHN: that's right! JOHN: compared to how confusing everyone else's family trees are, we are very straight forward. JOHN: even if we did not know we were related at first... JOHN: i wasn't sure how YOU were related to her, back when you were pen pals. JOHN: do you remember sending me that letter? JAKE: By jove i almost forgot about that. It feels like ages ago. JOHN: i don't know how long it was for you, but i got it three years ago. JAKE: I mean from my point of view it was only a couple of months but a lots gone on. JOHN: it arrived on my birthday so it was right on time. JOHN: it came in handy in a tight spot. JOHN: you were right in your letter, i DO love movies. JOHN: even if i am not into wrestling that much. JAKE: Oh well ive had my fill of fisticuffs for awhile anyway. Movies on the other hand i havent had much time to dig into! JAKE: By the way did you like your present?? And little terry kiser? JOHN: um... JOHN: well, i named her liv tyler, actually. i didn't know you already named her, or him. JOHN: anyway, she saved my butt in a big way! JOHN: and then she flew off on a ship heroically, but ran off again i guess? JOHN: and then she somehow joined dave and rose on their even more heroic mission to blow up a sun. JOHN: which they failed to do mostly because they actually MADE the sun, but the important thing is that they tried. JOHN: they came back, but i think the bunny didn't make it. :( JAKE: I live by the philosophy that when a stuffed toy changes hands its appropriate to change its name. It gives things a history like that. JAKE: At least she died doing something i presume she enjoyed. JOHN: blowing up? JAKE: No!! Being a hero and dicing up bad guys! JOHN: was the robot sentient? JOHN: maybe we should have treated it with more respect, so it would not turn evil and destroy us like a watership down version of skynet. JAKE: I mean dirk helped me a little in making it and all of his projects seem to enjoy that kind of mayhem. JAKE: Not as much as his own version of the rabbit but i think in giving me advice at least a couple of his engine greased fingerprints are on it. JOHN: man, everyone is some sort of robotics genius around here. JOHN: if we hadn't already had an apocalypse ushered in by rogue technology i would be worried. JAKE: I briefly suspected hal but no worries. JAKE: I think if he were going to attempt a robopocalypse he wouldve done it a long time ago when he was bored and had less to do. JOHN: he and terezi would get along. they both seem to enjoy wreaking mayhem for fun, although she says she's sorry now. JAKE: They might try but dirk would go spare. JAKE: And I think hes tossed out all his spares for today already. JOHN: everyone has learned their lesson about devious deeds! JOHN: i'm confident that will not happen in the future. JOHN: instead we can relax and do things like watch that movie you were recommending. JAKE: Oh yeah!! JAKE: Which one did i recommend again? I think it was weekend at bernies. JOHN: the one about the corpse getting moved around to trick people? JAKE: Oh yes! Two gentlemen discover that their boss has died shortly before throwing a party and try to convince people hes still alive by puppeting his body around! Its really quite hilarious! JOHN: it sounds good. JOHN: although apparently i'm already locked in to watching a few others. JOHN: including dave's? JOHN: i can't believe he became a big deal movie star in your world, that's hilarious. JAKE: He did. Ive got one of his characters tattooed on my arm! JOHN: um JOHN: you do? JOHN: wow. JOHN: have you told him that? JAKE: Not yet. Should i? JOHN: you might actually make him speechless, which would be a first. JOHN: definitely try it. JOHN: wait, which one is it anyway? JOHN: also, how did you get a tattoo? JOHN: i thought you grew up alone or something, like jade did. JAKE: Ive got sweet bro. Dirk gave it to me after we met up! JAKE: Hes got hella jeff. We match! JAKE: Let me tell you it was a harrowing thing getting it! Id heard getting a tattoo really hurts but you know what i just closed my eyes and before i knew it it was over just like that. JOHN: ... JOHN: huh. JOHN: well, that sounds exciting. i'm sure he'll be thrilled. JOHN: none of us have ever shown that level of devotion. JOHN: mostly we just repeat his shitty memes. JAKE: Dirk takes memes to a whole new level pal. JOHN: i haven't really had a chance to meet him before this. JOHN: i've been missing out on so many reunions today, maybe because i keep bouncing around taking people places. JOHN: out of you guys i've mostly talked to jane and roxy. JOHN: and i only talked to jane once! JOHN: i'm already behind. JAKE: Oh im sure youll get along great! Hes a cool dude and super smart. A little odd but he genuinely means well. JOHN: i'm looking forward to meeting everyone! JOHN: wait, i did meet him once, that's right. JOHN: back in the bad timeline, i saw him floating in space and asked him what happened, because i'd just come back from fighting calliope's brother. JOHN: but all he said was 'i failed' and then he... turned into glitter? JOHN: there were lots of glitches floating around, it was a hazard. JOHN: hopefully we can overcome that first impression. JAKE: ...yeah that sounds like dirk. JAKE: He can be pretty dramatic. JOHN: rose and dave are super dramatic too, he'll fit right in. JOHN: with all of us together it's going to be all drama all the time. JOHN: it will be up to us normal people to keep things under control. JAKE: He grew up all alone so sometimes i think he only knows how to act from movies too but who knows. Maybe it runs in families. JAKE: Family. Weird. JAKE: Hey that means were family too arent we? JOHN: i guess so! JOHN: you're my... JOHN: hm. JOHN: relative. JAKE: Relative. I guess. JAKE: I cant exactly go calling you great uncle john even if i still call jade "grandma". JAKE: Has a ring to it though! Great uncle john! Its all folksy like poppop crocker. JOHN: that's right, i was jane's grandpa in your universe, i guess. JOHN: which is also weird to think about. JOHN: and i was sort of everyone's dad, by mixing our slimes. JOHN: so it keeps getting more outrageous. JOHN: as for knowing how to act from movies... JOHN: i didn't even grow up alone, and i think sometimes i have that problem. JOHN: you want your life to make sense that way! JOHN: but real life is a lot more complicated sometimes. JAKE: Yeah!! JAKE: God yes it is. ESPECIALLY when it comes to romance. Good grief. JOHN: i know! JOHN: the movies make it look like it's essential or something, when usually in real life it mostly seems to cause trouble. JOHN: but you can't get a good ending otherwise, unless you accomplish that and a bunch of other arbitrary criteria. JOHN: most of which we haven't accomplished ourselves, but i think we're going to get a good ending anyway. JOHN: still it can mess with your head. JOHN: real life is not like the movies, that's for sure. JAKE: Its hard to have a romance going when your life is constantly under threat by skeleton monsters. JAKE: Also your first time seeing another person in ten years and your first boyfriend happen on like the same day. JOHN: see, that's how it happens in the movies sometimes. JOHN: the main characters meet up and get together right away, and i guess you have to assume it all works out, because the movie ends. JOHN: but when you're actually doing things it is not that convenient, you have to keep going. JOHN: although i hope we're going to get a break soon. JOHN: i would be happy for the credits to close on the constant heroics and dying for a while. JAKE: Me too. JAKE: I want a nap. Without an evil spider troll waking me up. JAKE: Movies also dont tell you how tiring the whole rigmarole of adventure is. JOHN: the main characters always look great, if fashionably ruffled, and they can keep going no matter what. JOHN: but i'm kind of tired. JOHN: especially since i've lived through the same hours twice in places i think? JAKE: You and your weird time travel nonsense again huh? JOHN: i will probably be mostly retiring that, i wouldn't want to cause any more trouble. JOHN: for now it looks like everything is turning out fine on its own. JAKE: Yessir i think were on the right path now and as soon as were done here im gonna take a long nap and anyone who cares to wake me up can throw down about it even if they are a hitherto-perfectly nice troll lady. Or human lady. Or anyone else. JAKE: The suplex of slumber justice is unisex. JOHN: that's the spirit! JOHN: we will all pass out and righteously beat up any one who disturbs us. JOHN: except hopefully once we are settled somewhere a little less exposed. JOHN: if we were asleep here someone might roll off. JAKE: But we can fly? JAKE: Where would we even fall? Towards the frog since its like a planet? Or... down? Were being pulled down by gravity i guess but how can we fall down if theres just space? JAKE: Would we float in our sleep? Maybe just get sucked back to the victory platform? JOHN: that sounds like a question for jade, she's more interested in how this works. JOHN: i told her science was dumb and boring if it didn't work the way i wanted, which made her upset, but i guess i got what i wanted. JOHN: so hah. JAKE: So science works how you want now? JAKE: Are you ganking my power set young man?? JOHN: not all of science, just space and time i guess. JOHN: and all of the scientific laws i am violating with my wanton displacement of matter and energy. JOHN: what ever those laws might be. JOHN: i am not a scientist or lawyer. JOHN: or science lawyer. JAKE: You fiend. Ah well as long as you dont go abusing your power im sure nothing terrible will happen. Like you flap your windy hood and cause a hurricane down south like an errant butterfly of causality. JOHN: well, i sort of lured lord english here, but i had to to save calliope, and we had to fight him anyway, so hopefully you can let that slide. JOHN: like i said, i will be taking it easy from now on. JAKE: I hear you there. Im over here asking myself do i even want to go wandering around this wonderland of dreaminess or do i just want to curl up over in that edge of the lily pad and have a nice snooze? JAKE: You know i can nap almost anywhere. I consider it a talent. JAKE: I have fallen asleep on clear grassy hills except thats probably not a good thing because centaurs can track through at any moment and they arent too careful about where they step! JOHN: jade was like that too! JOHN: although it MIGHT have partly been a troll messing with her brain again? JOHN: trolls sure are meddlesome. JOHN: anyway, this is probably our last chance to explore the dream bubbles, so maybe hold off on the naps until later. JOHN: also, centaurs? JAKE: Centaurs! JAKE: Oh yeah did i never say my island was full of alien monsters? JAKE: Because my island was full of alien monsters. JOHN: wow, your life actually WAS like a movie. JOHN: no wonder it was tempting to see yourself as an action hero. JOHN: everyone else had such weird and dramatic childhoods. JOHN: i don't have many bragging rights but JOHN: i liked mine. JOHN: i guess i'm one of the people that actually... left something ok behind? JOHN: but that's fine! because there can be ok things in the future too. JOHN: or hopefully more than ok. JAKE: I hope so. JAKE: I mean most things would probably be better than having to keep an eye out for monsters while walking to the pantry for canned friggin beets. JAKE: Not that i couldnt handle myself but beets arent worth that much. JOHN: bluch, no. JOHN: jade kept trying to make us eat our vegetables. JOHN: it was terrible. JOHN: she doesn't even know about lunchables. JAKE: My grandma ONLY stocked veggies. JAKE: And this weird stuff called spam. JOHN: i think our jade would probably have a heart attack if she saw spam. JOHN: although she does like raw beef these days. JOHN: which is a little alarming if you see her eat it. JAKE: I think she mostly included it as a courtesy to me and also i dont think theres many other great ways to keep meat. JAKE: So i hunted! Hopefully most of those creatures were edible and i didnt give myself any weird diseases. JOHN: the rest of you were like man versus wild! JOHN: including dave and rose kind of, even though they lived in real houses. JOHN: i will have to catch up if we are in some sort of survivor situation in the new universe. JOHN: i'm not really sure how that will pan out. JAKE: Youll be fine. Well watch your back! JAKE: Dirk will probably like. Invent a house if you give him long enough. JAKE: Just stick with jane and youll be fine. Shes kind of like you in that she also had a pretty cushy upbringing if you count out the assassination attempts. JAKE: Not that i hold it against her anything. We all take our lumps as theyre given. I mean she also has a dead grand- JAKE: Wait a minute. JAKE: Did you say you were...? JAKE: *Suspicious squinting.* JOHN: what? JAKE: Janes... JAKE: Poppop? JOHN: i... guess so? JOHN: that would make sense, she was my nanna. JOHN: oh man, was i also crushed to death by a flying baby? JOHN: that would be so undignified. JAKE: But hold the damn phone!! JAKE: You were ALSO jades brother in my timeline! JAKE: So if you were siblings and youre also janes poppop... JAKE: Would that make her and i... related?? JOHN: um... JOHN: not genetically? JOHN: but i think you were adopted siblings in our world. JAKE: !! JOHN: she grew up with a brother under a wicked alien queen. JOHN: which was betty crocker! JOHN: and the troll empress. JOHN: it is all connected. JAKE: So we were always family! JAKE: Gosh shell be so surprised to find out i bet. Just over the moon. JOHN: who doesn't want more family? JAKE: Of course! Good gravy aint that just like a movie. So many of us grow up without any family to speak of and we find out we were all family all along! JAKE: Consarnit id even call that some kind of irony. JOHN: at least it's a pretty crazy coincidence. JOHN: except since skaia set it up that way it's not a coincidence at all. JAKE: The chilly wind of fate whips through our unshielded undercarriages. JAKE: Get out of there skaia that zone is closed for business! JAKE: Its not enough to be whipping round my legs its gotta go and nab my shorts too... JAKE: Well ive had the last laugh. Ive got PANTS now! AND family! HAH! JOHN: well, fate or coincidence or whatever, I'M happy about it. JOHN: and i think both pants and family are important.
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daedalusdavinci · 2 years
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25), 16), 4), 5).
send an ask: get to know your author
4) favorite character you’ve written
god honestly? probably dirk/hal. he just occupies this like particular niche thats really fun to write where hes a very dramatic and serious person where you can take things really far, but also take them to a rather hilarious extent. hes also kind of a shitty person, and both very self aware of it and not understanding of how to not be a lot of the time? which makes him perfect for a lot of conflict. dirk is a great character because he takes so readily to whatever role you give him and plays it to his absolute best, whether that be a villain or a hero, and manages to be so beautifully complex all the while.
also, and most importantly, i love making fun of him. hes so fucking hilarious its just so easy to bully him and i think he should be bullied more he deserves it
5) character you were most surprised to end up writing
honestly the fact that i write nepeta as often as i do is so fucking weird bc i struggle with her character a lot but it just feels like she needs to be there yknow? shes so underrated and i dont do her justice
16) are there any characters who haunt you?
in like, what way? two face lives in my brain rent free if thats what you mean.
25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of
heres a paragraph from hollow americana that i just love
Nico’s leather jacket brushed against his shoulder, cold even through his shirt. It wasn’t particularly chilly out, even now, but Nico was always cold. It blanketed him like a shadow, drawing Jason to the paleness of his skin and the darkness of his hair. He looked almost unreal in the dimming light, but in a way that was completely different from the unrealness of liminal spaces. Where a pit stop was distant and muffled, Nico was… ethereal. He was something intangible, but dangerous in his allure, and when Jason looked at him out of the corner of his eye, he could swear he saw the vision of a skeleton slide across Nico’s face like a second skin. Percy had once mentioned that Death looked like an angel, and looking at Nico… Jason felt like he got it. There was a kind of dark beauty to the way death demanded to be known through Nico, wearing the ghost of a child out of time like a promise of what it could do.
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i-love-jade-harley · 7 years
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alright heres some of my homestuck/warcraft headcanon shit
basically just like
what race they’d be/play, what class, what spec, how theyd play, how often they play, etc, etc...
idk how many characters im doing so more below the read more bullshit
mostly a ramble tbh lmao
(beta + alpha kids, beta trolls, calliope + caliborn. sorta a everyone lives/nobody dies au)
if u need to know what smth means just hmu
OKAY so lets start off with the kids
ok personally i think john would play either a monk or a paladin?? like i think he’d prefer the playstyle of a paladin but his monk would be for heals in case a raid group or smth needs it. he’d honestly probably do LFR and just casually play in general, but sometimes he’d play for like 11 days straight then not get back on for 2 months. but when he’s playing casually he just does LFR and world questing, maybe sometimes doing dungeon groups with dave or something. he’d probably be a DPS paladin because tanking is bullshit and so is healing. (believe me i know) he’d also use the heckin goofiest mounts there are. like you know the chicken? he’d spend the money to get it. like actual cash. he wants the chicken. let him have the chicken. but back on the topic of race he’d probably play a dwarf or a gnome. he’d probably have a level 2 gnome hunter. he also runs a prank guild that all the kids are in! a few trolls are in it, too. vriska, kanaya, terezi, and karkat are in it. 
rose??? would probably play a shadow priest. probably nothing else, really. she may go heals every once in a while but dont expect her to want to. she plays a human. she only plays human and worgen. belf if she has to go horde. i dont really know if she’d just play casually because dave roped her in, or if she got really into it so now she has 12 max level characters. even if she doesnt like the game itself, she’d probably really like the lore!!! she’d probably also love the idea of xmog and what you can make your characters look like, bc some of the xmog is really badass. she’d probably use the emo purple bird thing as a mount (i forgot the name) or maybe she’d use the wotlk undead dragons. maybe the bc netherwing dragons?? im not sure!!! for pets she’d def have the feline familiar with her at all times (roxy would too) because who doesnt want a little witch kitty flying on a broom with you???
dave would honestly play a survival hunter. except he’d just punch shit to death. just autoattack. though when he’s ACTUALLY playing like a normal person he’d probably play a dps warrior. i could also see him tanking sometimes if he needs to. he probably only has one or two max level characters, but they have decent gear. he probably sometimes actually plays his hunter in a decent way but he probably just goes to low level neutral areas. he probably plays on a pvp server for that exact reason. he has one level 10 belf. he uses it to dance on mailboxes and get gold. he really just trolls people on it. he also roleplays, but makes sure to do it in the shittiest way possible. he only uses walk. no running. he uses the biggest mounts he has and walks on roleplayers when hes playing on an rp server. he probably raids on his warrior and is probably in a raiding guild. he purposefully mic spams the raid so he just gets muted, though. for mounts he’d obviously use the love rocket that he worked oh so hard for. for pets i dont really know what hed use?? probably brightpaw or whatever the purple cat thing is. he makes rose disappointed because he pays for mounts and pets with real money. tsk tsk. he has no professions except fishing, which he has maxed out. he may also have a DK that he has just to piss people off. hes the second highest tier in the prank guild. whenever they do raids (they occasionally do) he rp walks across the map to get to the raid. kanaya screams at him to accept the summon but he insists that he’s almost there. 
jade would def have herbalism as her main profession!! she may also have mining to sell on the auction house. she would DEFINITELY play a bm hunter!! its a worgen all the way. she prefers to have it in worgen form too. since she doesnt really like horde and cant use many wolf mounts, shed def go with the mechanostriders! for flying i think she’d use the serpents!! i could also see her using the pandaren turtle moutns. her fave xpac is def either mop or wod. she actually liked garrisons. she’s really slow w leveling so she isn’t max level for legion, but her friends still play with her!! (me too buddy) she likes doing mount/pet/reagent farming and regularly gives her friends herbs and other mats to level their professions! she also sometimes roleplays with dave in goldshire to mess with people. she loves using emotes like /lol and /joke! she also uses toys VERY often. her hunter pet is a white wolf named bec, and she has a team of battle pets consisting of fel pup, frostwolf ghostpup, and cinder pup! sometimes she’ll use lil bad wolf, though. she’s actually super good at pet battling, but she only battles friends. she doesnt play to be the “best”, she just plays because its a fun game! she also loves playing hearthstone.
jane doesnt play much, and has a level 60 dwarf resto shaman. the only reason she has looms is because roxy gave her the gold to get them. she only has level 20 riding, and only has a single horse. she still plays with friends, but the game just really isnt her cup of tea. she has a few cool pets she found while playing in low level areas, and she likes playing the auction house when she does play! she’s in a prank guild that john owns (all the kids are in it, they prank the trolls and roleplayers) and that’s honestly the thing she enjoys the most. 
roxy loves doing pvp with dirk. some of her friends call them the sneakies. she plays a rogue, and switches around her spec depending on what kind of pvp she’s doing. (as in she switches specs for open world, battlegrounds or arenas) she’s decked out in full pvp gear and always gets the newest tiers when theyre released. though she loves pvp she really does love raiding but she prefers playing with her friends! she helps everyone exploit game bugs for the prank guild, and will help cover peoples tracks when gold buying and such. she has all of her fun mounts set as favorites and just randomizes which one she rides. she uses the feline familiar pet EVERYWHERE. she wont use any other pet. at all. roxy also datamines ptr and spoils new lore for rose occasionally.
hoo boy. dirk is a top tier pvper. he mostly mains a ww monk and a rogue for pvp. he has 12 max level characters and 12 horde ones that are also max. he chooses class/race combos based on which one is the most reasonable for lore. he has an orc hunter named getshrekt. hes gold capped on all of his alliance characters. hes basically sleeve (if you play on bonechewer i hope you know who im talking about) he multiboxes 25 accounts to shit on leveling players. roxy helped him set this all up. all of his bots and multiboxes are hal. hal plays with him. he buys gold from a third party source and overthrows the wow economy. he causes the great depression in wow. he buys out every mat and then puts them back on the auction house for a few silver. since hes gold capped this has 0 affect. his character for the prank guild is maxed out and in pretty decent pvp gear. its also gold capped. he buys level boosts and uses actual money to buy tokens to increase his gold numbers. hes everyones worst nightmare. hes the reason no one plays horde on dirks server. dirk plays with roxy a LOT. they do arenas and basically just crush anyone who dares standing up to him. he exploits game bugs and has items people didnt know exist. he uses his special snowflake mounts that people thought were unattainable. he has bots farming spawn points for herbs and mining nodes. he plans on ruling the economy of his server. he ganks people that are his own level. he camps their corpses until they force quit the game. hes absolutely hated. he’ll be flying, and itll look like someone with a glitched name. then he’ll land in front of someone, and 20 multiboxes will spread out behind him. he ganks his victim. there is no escape. no mercy. 
jake plays a worgen mm hunter! he refuses to use bows and crossbows. it ALWAYS has to be xmogged to a gun. he mostly does world quests and only has horse mounts to keep it simple and traditional. he likes to collect pets and plays with jade a lot! he’s also in the prank guild and absolutely LOVES it. he loves the open world aspect of the game. he also collects random items in-game, like the scarabs from ahnqiraj (i personally collect those oops) he’s also a bit of an altoholic, and loves leveling, but never really finishes anything. he has all of the exploration achievements. ALL OF THEM. he love love LOVES exploring the maps in the game. he also actually LIKED the cata revamp because it gave him more to explore. he has a goblin thats also a hunter thats level capped just so he could explore horde areas without worrying about being ganked or attacked. he knows his way in all of the major cities. you know huntards? well jake is the complete opposite of that. hes an amazing hunter. it surprises his friends. 
bonus: hal helps dirk with being an asshole to everyone on the servers he plays on. he multiboxes with dirk and set up bots to watch the auction house for him. hes just as much as an asshole as dirk is.
NOW FINALLY ON TO THE TROLLS!!!! 
aradia plays a belf destruction warlock. she’s a casual player and plays with sollux a lot. she doesnt play very often, but when she does she gets really into the game, especially when playing with friends! she doesnt have many mounts, but she has the headless horseman mount and thats what she uses most of the time. she has maxed out archaeology and has all the items for it. though she has the pets from it, the only pets she uses are frogs.
tavros plays a gnome bm hunter unironically. hes not a very good hunter but not huntard level. he mostly plays with the other lowbloods, sometimes vriska. he only really got roped into wow because of its ties to hearthstone. he wanted to know more about the characters, but stayed because of the animals. it really isnt too much of his cup of tea, but still plays because his friends do. he doesnt have professions nor a maxed out character. he has the mechanostrider mounts and the default pets. he also has the heartstone mount.
sollux heckin loves wow. he plays a troll mage. he switches between fire and frost, but never arcane. he hates arcane. he mostly plays with aradia, but he likes the occasional raid. he has good dps with decent gear. hes mostly a casual, but he loves messing with the games files and datamining. 
karkat is a....special player. he has a blood dk that hes maxed out but hes in all green quest gear. he keeps trying to defeat dave in a dual but it doesnt work. dave got rose and john to help convince karkat that gnome is masterrace. he believed them. now hes a shitty little gnome aggroing everything and getting caught in the fire. he’s very upset because he cant beat dave. help this poor boy. his only pets are crabs. he has all of them. every single one. they’re all the poorest quality, but he loves them anyways. the only mounts he’ll use is mammoths to be an asshole to everyone. he plays a lot because he wants to crush dave’s pride. help this boy.
nepeta plays either a bm hunter or a feral druid! she roped equius in, and they tried to level together, but equius went too fast, so nepeta doesnt have a maxed out character. she enjoys playing with him nonetheless, even if its just running around stormwind! she plays on a roleplay server (NOT moodguard) and loves roleplaying and meeting new people. she rides the tiger/saber mounts and has all of the cat pets! she almost refuses to go out of cat form when on her druid. both of her toons are nelfs.
kanaya mains a human affli warlock and a nelf demon hunter. she likes the aesthetic of both locks and dhs, but prefers the play style of a warlock. she plays with rose most of the time, and they do world quests when they play. she has tailoring and enchanting as her professions, and both are maxed out. she prefers this because she can just make her own gear to sell and get gold. she has the jade panther that rose made her, and uses that mount most of the time. she doesnt really like collecting pets, but rose gave her a moth that she adores. 
terezi plays a resto druid on nepetas server, and mostly roleplays with vriska. she roleplays as a dragon most of the time. she has all of the dragon pets and mounts, and shes VERY proud of her collection and wont hesitate to rub it in vriskas face. she almost got banned multiple times trying to complete her collection. she prefers doing old world raids and farming to get xmog to improve her roleplay outfit, and so she can have different sets for different characters. she sometimes roleplays with nepeta, but most of the time she roleplays with vriska.
vriska plays a nelf demon hunter, and roleplays with terezi on her server. sadly theres no spider mounts but she has the recruit a friend rocket because she did raf with tavros. she does pvp when shes not roleplaying, and she’s trying to get on the highest level. she has all of the spider pets. every single one of them. she tries to overthrow the auction house, but cant. (shes not on dirks server, so hes not messing her up. its just that she doesnt have much gold because of xmog.) she likes to ruin some peoples rolaplays, but loves roleplaying with terezi and sometimes nepeta. 
equius only got into the game because of nepeta. he didnt think hed like it at first, but he really does. he prefers to tank. he has a maxed out dk, warrior, monk, and paladin. he and nepeta tried to level characters together, but he went too fast for her. he has all of the horse mounts and will only ride those. hes not very interested in pets except the engineering ones, and engineering is maxed out on his main toon. he enjoys raiding in his free time, but will also pvp for mounts. hes mostly casual.
oh man, gamzee should be interesting. he plays a troll shaman. no one really knows what he does, really. they just see that hes online and in a major city. is he playing the auction house? is he talking to people? no one knows. when the darkmoon faire comes around, he plays for all 7 days straight. he doesnt really ride mounts or have pets, but he collects them. no one knows why he plays or HOW hes maxed out in raiding gear. he just is.
eridan is a whiny bitch when it comes to wow. he wants to get on dirks level but doesnt know how to. even though hes sometimes a bitch about it, he does enjoy roleplaying and playing with karkat. he plays an arcane mage or a mm hunter. the only mount he rides is the sea turtle mount. you know the one? the one that makes you slow on land but fast in water? yea. he rides that. he HAS other mounts, but he wants the turtle.
feferi does NOT like wow. i mean, yea, she’ll heal for raids, but she doesnt like killing things. she plays a resto shaman and doesnt use a specific mount because she doesnt play that often.
calliope also doesnt like wow, but will play with roxy. she likes doing pet battles, and thats really all she does. she has a level 10 druid that doesnt have a spec. she has no mounts but has cool pets that roxy gave her. she camps in stormwind and refuses to go ANYWHERE else. 
caliborn LOVES world of warcraft. he roleplays with dirk on moonguard, but dirk says nothing. just to piss off caliborn. he tried to multibox to kill dirk, but he ended up freezing his game. he constantly pesters the alpha kids, and really doesnt talk to anyone else except to make fun of new players. he has 1 mount and its the goblin mount. he mains a goblin rogue thats level 40. 
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gulescamisade · 7 years
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Virginia:  Day 23
ROXANNE: -There are aspects of the campus that really are quite spectacular and maybe if it wasnt the circumstances of this basically being a kind of revolution base Roxanne still would have wanted to visit it anyways. For instance this fountain she is looking at is quite lovely! Dont mistake her stern expression for not appreciating it, she is just fairly stressed the fuck out.-
RILEY: -too restless. she's always so restless lately, especially from last night. the walk she's taking leads her by the fountain, where roxanne is, and she doesn't look too happy.- hey.
RILEY: -alternatively HEY!!!!!-
ROXANNE: -The smaller hey will suffice in getting her attention away from the water.- Hm? oh hey.
RILEY: what are you doing out here this late? can't sleep either?
ROXANNE: Sure.
RILEY: -looks around before approaching closer, also looking at the fountain- that's. RILEY: sure an answer.
ROXANNE: Yeah. -Sighs and rubs her eyes with the back of her hand.- Sorry, Im just. Yeah cant sleep.
ROXANNE: Too much to think about ya'know?
RILEY: oh, yeah. too much shit. RILEY: hard to even feel rested when all of this is going on.
RILEY: also when i have this beautiful little fucker kicking my insides.
ROXANNE: Yeah I was about to ask if that was the reason you are still awake. th'kicking is the absolute worst sometimes. ROXANNE: I remember at one point i couldnt even sit comfortably let alone lay any which way without feeling my organs crushed.
RILEY: -she laughs- yeah, sounds about right. it's like...okay, yeah. i get you're bored, kid. can't you just like move those really tiny fingers you developed instead?
ROXANNE: Nope 'cus feet are hell of a lot more interesting. thats why babies love chewing on their own toes.
RILEY: fuck, i remember that. when i first saw dirk do that i was like...freaking out about it because i thought i had a monster baby, but i didn't.
ROXANNE: Nope your baby is just normal as every other toe eating baby.
RILEY: thank god. didn't want to return that one.
ROXANNE: -Turns and looks at her with a raised eyebrow.-
RILEY: joke. joking. not serious.
ROXANNE: Yeah got as much.
RILEY: ha. haha. yeah. RILEY: -clears her throat- anyway. you thinking about the whole...i don't know what the fuck to call it. mission?
ROXANNE: -Nods.- I might sound dramatic in sayin' it but to be honest its the only thing i really can think about right now. -Sighs, and glances back at the fountain again.- which is pretty damn annoying considerin' i didnt want us to go through with it in the first place. i still dont.
ROXANNE: But what can you do.
RILEY: no. it's all i can think about too. i get that.
ROXANNE: Yeah? What are your thoughts.
RILEY: i don't want to do this, honestly. but i understand why more now. RILEY: i just hate the risk.
ROXANNE: -Well at least one of them understands why. Like, yeah no the concert was great and amazing and inspiring but... This just wasnt something she could ever really support.- Same. ROXANNE: I was having a talk with that Eridan guy. he said it pretty spot on there is a real chance we all are gonna' die doing this.
RILEY: -she looks down when she says that- what does that guy know anyway? RILEY: it's obvious. isn't it. -her expression softens-
ROXANNE: ..... Hey do me a favor, Riley.
ROXANNE: If... or I dunno' when shit hits the fan. gets hot. goes crazy, whatever you want to call it. Keep yourself away from it and get the hell out of here and all the way to minnesota. -Says this all without looking at her.-
RILEY: -she nods- yeah. of course. RILEY: do me a favor?
ROXANNE: Name it.
RILEY: -sniffs a little- stay the fuck alive.
ROXANNE: -Riley dont sniff. She tenses a little when she hears it, Riley better not cry.- ROXANNE: ....Okay.
RILEY: -she's tearing up a little. she wipes at her eyes quickly cuz she doesn't WANT to cry right now- good.
RILEY: cool.
ROXANNE: -Yes please dont cry because if she starts crying then Roxanne is definitely just going to let it out too.- ROXANNE: -Contain the sads and stress for the win.- ROXANNE: Thanks by the way...for asking for that. I mean like not that I wasnt planing to but I'm pretty damn serious to my word so now its a for sure thing.
RILEY: yeah. of course. RILEY: i'm really shitty at it, but. RILEY: i still want you to be okay?
ROXANNE: I want you to be okay too. Fuck... I just want all of us to make it out of this alive, in any semblance of okay. but every day its starting to feel like thats asking too much. ROXANNE: Like i dont even want to check the message board anymore but I cant not look at it you know?
ROXANNE: Everything is going to hell for us. For everyone. how are we supposed to stay positive about this stupid suicide run when everyone else is struggling to just get to minnesota. -Her fists tighten at her sides and shes trying really hard to keep the anger out of her voice.- ROXANNE: I get it, its really important that we do this. Earth is my planet, I get it as well as anyone else but its impossible for me not to feel like it shouldnt be us doing it.
ROXANNE: -Her shoulders sink a little now.- Ugh. What the fuck do I know though, I never dealt with combat I'm a shitty scientist.
RILEY: -she listens to roxanne, her chest tightening. she laughs weakly- i think that's what makes you a great scientist.
RILEY: in my professional educated opinion.
RILEY: with my degree in scient....ology. RILEY: wait no.
ROXANNE: .................................................................... -snrks.-
RILEY: point is you're fucking smart and i am not.
ROXANNE: Yeah but youre good in other ways. ROXANNE: Th'singing was pretty top notch.
RILEY: -she snorts- hey, thanks. RILEY: means a lot coming from a scientist.
ROXANNE: Are ya' going to keep pointing out how im a scientist now?
RILEY: i mean it makes everything i say sound true, so...yeah.
ROXANNE: Hah, alright have fun using my credentials to validate your arguments.... hmmm. -Folds her arms as she thinks.- Ya know come to think of it thats probably the best use of them. ROXANNE: Cant say the whole scientist title has been too useful since we all got labeled criminals.
ROXANNE: I mean sure I still have the skills and all, but i dont actively talk about my old work anymore.
RILEY: oh, i will. -watches her with a grin- there has to be some benefits that come with being friends with a musician, too. like...you can get away with a lot of shit.
ROXANNE: Oh yeah?
RILEY: sadly not treason, but everything else, sure. i guess i'd just have to be present for whatever it was. then it goes hush hush.
ROXANNE: -Snaps.- Damn asking ya' to get us off the hook for presidential murder was going to be my next question.
ROXANNE: I'll keep it in mind though next time i think about doing something crazy.
RILEY: i'm already down.
ROXANNE: Pft, okay.
RILEY: put me on that pre-registration shit.
ROXANNE: After you give birth maybe, I dont wanna' see you do anything risky with me until after.
ROXANNE: Im sure derek would lose it if you ended up in the slammer because of me.
RILEY: ah, it's fun to watch him lose it sometimes. rile him up.
ROXANNE: Wouldnt say I really know i guess, haha.
RILEY: -whoops. she laughs it off- need me to sing you a lullaby so you can sleep?
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-- gunhardyTemerity [GT] began pestering effluentBalatron [EB] at 22:51 -- GT: Well howdy doodle egberto. GT: Have you got a moment for a chat chap? EB: hey jake. EB: i have all the time in the world as of right now. GT: Oh you do? Thats swell! GT: I guess youre settling nicely at your old house? GT: Be sure to send photos yeah? Id love to see the home of the legend that started it all. EB: sure. i can do that. GT: Not right away of course... when youre doing better and all! EB: i think i can manage to take some comm pictures of a few (relatively) benevolent harlequins. GT: OH BOY. GT: (Relative) benevolent harlequins are my very favorite kind! :D EB: *doctor jingles.png.* EB: *whistles the clown.png.* EB: i hope that tickles your fancy, my dude. EB: it was never really my thing but they're alright i guess. EB: *a whole lot of fucking figurines.jpg.* GT: Hah! Hahaha! OH MAN. GT: I love this whimsical collection of fellows! GT: Theyre so cheerful and full of good spirits! GT: Its men like these that id like to have at a party im not sure about you. EB: pfft. what a party that would be. you, my dad and a bunch of "funny men" as he'd call them. GT: Thats a keeper. Hehehehe! GT: But where would you be? EB: i think i'd skip it. no offense. GT: Even if i were there? Id be sure to make it fun for the two of us bro. GT: Do you trust me or do you trust me?? EB: jesus, dude. i'd have to be a heartless monster to say no to that. GT: HEAR HEAR. GT: So... GT: How are things in the homefront? Anything like you remember? EB: not much changes in this part of the world, jakey. and i like it that way. EB: it's good. it's safe. EB: cold as balls. EB: roxy cleaned the place up pretty good. she's been helping me out. EB: is ruleus ok? GT: Ru the man us has really taken to his own here! I mean... hes sort of claimed our room as his new territory and it certainly doesnt help that citrins gone and supported his new authority. GT: He sure likes the twins though! Who would have thought? EB: oh. i'm glad it's working out. EB: i've been trying to teach him about gentle touches. GT: He sure likes to teach citrin all he knows! EB: hehe. they're such cute lil buddies. GT: Needless to say hes a cutie pie... and youre doing a great job. EB: thanks but EB: i dunno. EB: i freaked out and left him there. i know he's fine with you guys. and probably doesn't even notice but. EB: well. i know. GT: Hey now... GT: It doesnt seem like the effort matters much but. Rest assured. GT: Its something that looks entirely different from his perspective. GT: Hes just a kiddo after all. And youre being a good daddy not showing him anything but the love. EB: i hope that's how he sees it. GT: One day hell understand but until then? Youre only human john bomb. The best kind of human being there is! EB: i don't see how you can actually think that. EB: ugh. sorry. EB: you're just trying to help. GT: Dont be sorry broseph. GT: I... GT: Well. GT: :( GT: I think about sollux quite a lot. GT: If i werent some bumbling oaf with a wasteful of magic power maybe hed still be here. EB: i mean. of course you think about him. EB: he was special to you. and it hasn't been that long. EB: not that it really matters how long it's been either. EB: and...another thing. EB: this magic stuff is a bunch of bullshit! EB: they didn't teach us how to use it or anything. it doesn't matter how powerful we are if we don't know what to do. or when to do it. EB: how are you supposed to know? how am i supposed to know? GT: Well... GT: Its just... GT: Im awful sorry john. If i knew the answer or what to say i would sure try to say it. GT: But ive been so lost and frankly befuddled with how convoluted this magic business is. GT: I think i have been since the beginning. GT: And... im sorry for how complicated it makes things. EB: no, jake. don't be sorry. i just. i was trying to say that... EB: i don't even know. i just feel really angry about it all. and i'm just as confused as you are. GT: Thats alright bub. GT: For what its worth i... know youre trying your best. And i fully believe youre a good person coming out of all of this. GT: If you have your flaws and all... so what? So long as you try to do the right thing in the end? EB: i'm grateful that you think that. and i mean. i'm grateful people are still on my side and stuff. you, and roxy. and kankri. and dad. EB: but at the same time. it's like. EB: i don't know if i actually can. to be honest, dude. EB: ever since i got on the ship i never actually wanted to leave. no matter what terrible shit would happen, i never thought i'd take ruleus and cut out. EB:  even when feferi died. EB: but now i am thinking about it. a lot. even though i am really trying not to. EB: i don't wanna go back to the ship. or be the doctor anymore. GT: And... GT: Whats wrong with all that? EB: what do you mean? GT: You know id still love and respect the hell out of you bro? Even if you did drop and call it quits. EB: but it's a fucking terrible thing to think about. i already promised i'd try to keep everyone safe. after everything everyone has been through, after the sacrifices everybody made. and the people that have died fighting in the war? GT: I... GT: I know. GT: I felt this way too when uhm. GT: I thought of the possibility that dirk wouldnt wake up. EB: oh. GT: It was just me citrin and the twins i felt. What... what was i going to do? What was i good for? EB: aw jake...:( EB: that's different, buddy. your situation is differnet. GT: I couldnt pull it together. I couldnt be someone the world counted on! But... GT: Why was any of this worth sacrificing my kiddies without their dads? I... I was them. EB: i'd never judge you for that. GT: I was the one growing up on my lonesome and wondering what it is that was so terrible about myself... that i felt... GT: Maybe i wasnt enough to keep my grandma with me. It was an atrocious feeling! It still is! GT: So no!!! I dont think theres anything wrong with letting yourself feel this sort of hullabaloo weakness! EB: i'm confused as hell about how i feel. EB: but i can see what you mean. i think...coming from you it's easier. EB: i'm not saying i am actually going to quit. but. GT: Aw buddy... It just... GT: I understand. It just... feels as though it stops being about you and what you want. Mayhaps its easier to focus on what someone who needs you wants instead. EB: mayhaps. EB: thanks jake. GT: I love you! EB: i love you too, bro. GT: I wish i could swoop the hell in and scoop you in a big ole hug! GT: Id spend the night with you easily. :( EB: hehe i miss our movie nights. EB: though i wouldn't mind if the entire dirkjake clan plus ruleus descended on my dad's poor house. EB: it's fun to think about anyway. GT: Whos to say they wont??? I reckon the whole clan ought to travel around and see the sights! EB: who wouldn't want to see snowy picturesque maple valley wa. we have skating. beavers. and old people riding street legal snow blowers. GT: Sounds like a dream! EB: we also now have roxy lalonde. GT: You mean she was missing before? GT: PSHHAW. EB: i'm really confused now. do you know something i don't. GT: Roxyandra Lalonde is a key ingredient to any party gathering! EB: that i agree with. EB: you know who else we can add to the mix. EB: kankri! EB: your favorite. GT: Oh... EB: pff. GT: Yeah sure buddy! Whatever youd like! EB: hahahaha. GT: ;D EB: why are you winking. what's with the wink. GT: I made you laugh my bucko! EB: oh. EB: that was decidedly unrancorous of me, huh? GT: HUH HUH. I guess youre diddly damn so its unrancorous! EB: /rolls my goddamn eyes/ EB: okay. it's time for john to get some sleep. GT: You mean resting your handsome big pearly blues? You gotcha! GT: Ive got kiddies to systematically put to beddy bye now. GT: Youll be alright bro? EB: i honestly have no idea. but. i feel a little more hopeful about it now. EB: that's something i guess. EB: nah, not "i guess". it is something. GT: *Sniffle.* EB: don't cry. GT: I cant help it. D'8 EB: you big hairy baby. GT: I just miss you to pieces!!!!! EB: i hope you legitimately cry in front of dirk so he feels pressured to bring you here. GT: Dont say that because ill be tempted! GT: Dammit john. GT: Hit the hay would you?? EB: :) EB: ok. goodnight. EB: tell ruleus....nothing i guess because i don't want him to feel weird but. think "john misses you" loudly at him. -- effluentBalatron [EB] ceased pestering gunhardyTemerity [GT] at 01:00 --
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