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#i dont think about this often but when i do it hits me like a fucking truck.
scummy-writes · 1 day
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I do this often but sorry for just. Postin a lot, and not posting fully finished smutfics lately.
I'm being more self-fulfilling with what I am writing lately, and I joke about the piss fic a lot, but it's also random ships, random fluff, this and that.
However, I am painfully aware that smut is why the majority of the followers I have follow me. I am aware that a lot of you came from vamp, from me writing Isaac and Arthur, sometimes theo, comte, etc... and now i've flipped around to writing someone who, in comparison, is a creep and not at all the character types you guys came here for- and I'm writing weird smut that isnt really super sexy? Some of it was, but then some of it was me opening up a word doc and sharing my thoughts in odd ways.
I am... having fun. On ao3 ive been going back and forth with drabbles/ideas with a new friend. Ive written out hcs that were purely just for me and realized that very bluntly and very quickly, I've shared some sfw stuff that was also bluntly shown to be just for me. And while I am not looking at it going "my writing sucks", I am looking at them and feeling a bit lonely on here at times. I often feel like I am talking to a void. I don't know how to change that outside of posting detailed smutfics that focus on things I may not want to focus on right now.
Outside of Glimpses of Teal and Auburn, and outside of random drabbles/reqs/comms I make, I don't think there is going to be future fanfics I make of Isaac and Arthur. I love them, I love them a lot! But ive also explored a Lot with them. I've also written them for years. There is more I would like to write, I have random Isaac wips that I still think about very often, but other ideas hit me more. I would rather set expectations to a realistic setting, rather than make a vague promise that isn't guaranteed.
Thats been weighin on me a lot lately, especially with villains releasing. I can tell i am likely going to enjoy later routes, they're ticking off a lot of boxes on themes I like but typically don't feel safe exploring in other media, so then I know I'd be juggling three interests at once and thats very difficult for me. I really dont know how so many writers can writer for a multitude of fandoms at once, I feel like the max for me is 2, or a vague 3. (And realistically, its possible villains will just be a thing I enjoy consuming more than creating for).
I do have comms I am working on, and outside of those I do not know when I will have a normal smutfic again. I enjoy exploring other things, but again I do know that its not why a majority of you are here!! I don't say this as a "ill make one soon!" psa, but rather... I'm having fun. I'm aware its not everyones cup of tea, but its not going away anytime soon. If that's something that displeases you, I would recommend thinkin about just occasionally checkin in on my blog instead, or just asking to be on my taglist so you can just get pinged for things without having to follow me.
And, well. I am chatty. I like having distractions from irl, and sometimes I pop in here in burts of posts. I say sorry since i know the anxiety is Clear and Radiating off of those posts, and sometimes I just feel awkward about it.
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cosbeans · 1 year
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they're like siblings. understand my vision
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northern-passage · 1 year
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i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)
i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)
faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.
anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!
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dandyshucks · 2 months
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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl
#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads#which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those#so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time#i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos#ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl#the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl#every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community#i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos#it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl#i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl#(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later#dandyshucks
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frecklystars · 3 months
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sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......
#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken#because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying.#he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it#i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day#and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE#because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying#but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long.#i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life!#and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did#AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked#i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly*#feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain#and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost#but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you'#'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you'#'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!'#and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now.#i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to#i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more'#and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing#i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson#because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back#when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time#and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe#ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont.#because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go#god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT#love notes#💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-
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plulp · 5 months
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hey guys sorry for the radio silence (4 days) :( Im Sick
but in other news: almost at 200 followers!!!! so if any of you want me to do the same thing i did last time (maybe not as much) or something different i can to celebrate :) since i should be free to draw however much after this week (have some things to take care of (while im sick))
#ill finish doing asks when i get back home (dont know when)#and then when i hit 200 ill do another thing i guess? maybe pcs again or maybe ill draw other peoples dol designs but problem with that is#i Dont Know Many People Here 😰#i only follow legit like 5 people and i dont check this dashboard often so i miss a lot#since i usually use my main tumblr to yknow. scroll through tumblr#i wish i could reblog other peoples art more often too but for some reason i get nervous? its so weird. i get nervous writing tags#probably because i get too excited and then i get a headache#what was this about again#oh#if any of you have anything you want me to do for 200 you can send an ask or something and ill make a poll so you all can vote on it maybe#but hopefully i can do it like order as in: finish asks i have now > celebrate yay!! > draw more designs lmao#but before all of that. i have to finish this one thing. lemon honey green tea give me the strength i need to finish this.#i need to clear out ageless followers when i get home too :( so i might not be that close after that#right now im 8 away from 200 i think?#but thank you to whoevers followed me :)#if you dont have an age in your bio remember to put one okay? or ill get another headache#i think thats all i have to say right now? if you have any questions comments or concerns please dont be afraid of me.#germaphone#i promise i dont bite. i kind of gnaw like a toothless cat. its all gums and its slimy and feels weird. like that#200 follower special you all ask me about my teeth situation (nothing special really)
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softshuji · 5 months
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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corvidexoskeleton · 8 months
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Turning into the joker because both of my landlords keep threatening to kick me out every single time i have a slight disagreement with them or dont do exactly what they want
#text post tag#both of them keeo independently threatening me with homelessness for the stupidest fucking reasons#its honestly so fucking irritating and annoying and its pissing me off so much#but i cant even have a simple fucking conversation with either of them because they both think that i should just#roll over and do exactly what they say without protest and im fucking sick of it#reek will actively try to puff himself up and act like a big tough alpha male and tells me to get out if im not gonna ''respect'' him#and my sister will threaten to make me homeless just because i dont want to be the only fucking person the house who does dishes#and because she doesnt like that i have trouble keeping up with the dishes of three adults#two of which dont fucking rinse anything and just pile everything into nasty standing water#and shes mad that i have trouble getting down on my knees to clean the cat boxes out - esp since now theres a bunch bc pf the fosters#when i famously have knee problems and cant be on my knees for very long or often without it causing intense physical pain#and she never even fucking helped me clean any of them out even when it *was* just our own cats#not to mention that she keeps getting pissed off at me because i dont like thay she keeps throwing fits and being out of line with how#she reacts to every single fucking thing that stresses her out#like its my fucking fault that shes hitting her dog with a shoe or its my fault that shes screaming at her baby#reek doesnt even fucking do anything around the house when hes home#and hes almost never home#and he thinks he can lecture me about how i dont do anything and they have to do everything for me?#as if he has any right to think he has any authority over me whatsoever or as if he has any fucking right to treat me like a child#i fucking hate the both of them so goddamn much#im just constantly pissed the fuck off but i cant do a damn thing about it because everything i do is bad or wrong to them#to my sister i cant do anything right because the only thing i know how to do is escalate and make things worse#i am so fucking mad
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lukeskqwalker · 2 years
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my line of thinking is that if i post enough untamed stuff then i'll either a) make more mdzs friends or b) lose followers and both are a lowkey a plus so
#CLARIFICATION: i do not actually mind yall following me obviously this is a public blog its just funny and also wild to be perceived#im sorry i really am but i Am baffled by this number that keeps going up and never goes down like guys!! im a mess!!!#i never stick to one thing HOW are yall not leaving en masse#hit me up if you would like to sob and wail loudly with me over this delightful necromantic comedy/tragedy two in one#ok but seriously all of my friends are like 'yeah lol i lost so many followers for posting x' WHY ARE YOU NOT LEAVING#I CHANGE SO OFTEN WHAT#im not WANTING people to leave but im just. so confused.#i dont MAKE THINGS and when i do i dont make multiple things for the same fandom#i make one (1) post about it and then i vanish into a vapor#ok but to be fair i guess i do put stuff in a queue if i notice im posting a lot of it#like if i go into a tag i always put it all in a queue so yall dont have 500 at once#gotta introduce it slowly. like when youre changing your cats petfood brand.#thats how you catch em#hello. can you tell i do not want to study for my test anymore. anyway.#here is a joke if you get this far#one sec i have to actually think of a joke#i just googled 'good joke' and this one was on a minion meme photo that was very grainy so prepare yourself for the best joke of all time#'there are three kinds of people in the world. those who are good at math and those who are not.' thank you facebook moms#everyone say 'go to bed sam'#this is a joke. i will not. i will wail 'no' like a petulant child. and then i will laugh.#evilly.#if this shows up in any tag at all i will be mortified#to sum up: watch untamed. minion mom joke. patrick star 'who are you people' meme.#will i delete this in the morning? perchance.
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catt-crossing · 2 years
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smol vent dont mind me
aight so last night i was bigge sad and now im bigge sad but for a separate reason, but like in this pirvate server i wrote a big vent in the vent chnanel cus i was sad and needed to let out my thoughts and i wont go into it but it was about me being aro and no one like said anything about it or offered support and like okay i didnt technically ask and maybee no one has/had the energy and stuff and i get it ;w; but i was hoping people would like.....offer some love/support and stuff... :/
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zwei-rhunen · 3 months
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hmm, maybe there's yet a use for my tomestones after all
#reviewing the relic materials for all the anima weapons (if i feel like pursuing that grind in the future) and i can just keep dumping my#tomes into unidentifiable materials that the idyllshire tomestone vendor sells. 4 mats (1 each) for 2 cryst sands. 13 total weapons.#60 sands for 1 weap == 720 sands for all weapons. so i need 360 ct of each unidentifiable mat + 130 of each bc u use them for an earlier#step too. so in total 490 ct for each of the unident material. 490x4=1960 mats from tomevendor. 1960x150 tomes = 294k tomes??#IS THAT RIGHT?? ok whatever atm i have like ~530 total mats so i've spent 530x150= ~79k tomes so far L O L. bc i dont hv anything to spend#tomes on so it's been ez funneling it all into relic mats xD. i already bought all the aether oil i'll ever need + the enchant ink so#i've actually spent like 105k tomes overall LOOOL Hismena must looove me xD. this is over a span of 1-2 years mostly from roulette lol#its not a specific thing i've been working on- its more like 'oop i hit my 2k cap lets go dump it on smth somewhat useful rq' LOL#i've recently started hitting white crafter scrip cap more often from running squadrons bc my lil characters all have some sort of#scrip bonus thats applied when theyre in a specific team makeup and theyve been doing well. so i've been dumping scrips into crafter tokens#which i can ALSO use to buy crystal sand later. so thats helpful. i wont necessarily need to fund everything by tomestones lol#i need to get back into the zodiac atma grind. i've got 30 atma left lol. these ROCKS have been collecting DUST in my inventory over#the past YEAR or so lol#has it been a year?? idk it was either like this past sept/oct or the previous years' lol#actually lmao. getting back on the zodiac grind would solve ALL my hitting-max-cap-on-gil issues now that i think about it... xD
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astralcurses · 9 months
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its mourning my childhood hours babey
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aidenwaites · 10 months
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Dude it is so wild how quickly/intensely my asthma acts up again when I run out of the daily medication
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hyewka · 5 months
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warnings. sub!tyun, noona!reader, desperate shit, degrading, use of whore/slut, handjob
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flirt freshman!taehyun who, even if he looks polite and at times would even be described as cute, is definitely a heartbreaker. stringing along, fucking, then ghosting.
you see right through his nice guy act when he subtly hits on you, flashing you his white pearls, blinding smile that show off his dimpled cheeks and the way his eyes form into crescents, his simple charms almost, almost having an effect on you. but you know better, you’ve already passed this chapter of your life, getting yourself fucked over by cute assholes. so you reject any and all advances that he makes on you, even as so far as to completely ignore him whenever he addresses you in a group setting.
you wanted to protect yourself, because again, you knew better. but what you dont realize is how often your blatant rejections have been either straight up cruelly humiliating or just plain harsh to the younger boy. not until you’re stuck with taehyun as you awkwardly wait in the car for your friends.
“why dont you like me?” he starts, quiet as he looks out the window. you turn to look at him, a little astonished that he decided to confront you. then you quickly recollect yourself, clearing your throat.
“who told you that?”
he scoffs, a sneer retching his expression. “you’re kidding aren’t you? i don’t think i know anybody more repulsed with me than you. everyone can see it. you almost jumped out of the car when they told you i was going to sit in the back tonight.”
it’s like hes been keeping all of his thoughts behind a lock with how fast everything spilled out of his mouth and you take in a breath. “okay now that’s an exaggeration.”
“not really.”
then it falls silent again, hearing the distant horns of cars and you awkwardly shift. he’s right, its not.
then suddenly, his eyes shift from the window to you, and the eye contact catches you off guard, you can make out the slight furrow of his brows and the small pout that rests on his lips—you’ve never seen him look like that. you avert your gaze almost immediately.
but he’s still staring. and it has you nervously tapping your finger on your lap.
“i like you, noona.”
your eyes widen a little. not because of the confession, you knew it was coming eventually. something about this variation of gentleness with his voice that you don’t think you’ve quite heard…ever coming from a man has your heart beat just a little faster. noona? its nothing new coming from taehyun, but your hands still slight dig into the fabric of your skirt. “if that wasn’t already obvious enough.” he says bitterly with a non humored laugh.
you spend the entire night, staring at your blank empty google doc, wallowing in all thoughts related to taehyun. it kind of pisses you off that he’s managed to chip a little away from your wall, you usually disperse any thought that comes up in your head that has to do with him. but now you choose to give yourself a leeway, just a little to think over whether he was being genuine, and whatever happened in the car was taehyun serving his heart on the platter to be so…vulnerable, or if it was just the last trick up his sleeve to lure you in like a toy he can’t have.
but then you remember the little features—the way his brows slightly turned up, the way his bottom lip instinctively stuck out, just a tiny bit—the way his eyes twinkled, just somewhat, as cliché as it is to say, it felt genuine, real.
when taehyun sends you a text that night, with a string of other unread messages from weeks or days ago before it—you come to the conclusion that he likes you, really likes you.
sorry, ignore what i said today
i don’t want you feeling uncomfortable around me any more than you do
your heart swells a little, simultaneously feeling the guilt conscience slowly creeping up on you. maybe you really did misread him this entire time.
so imagine your surprise when the next time you see taehyun, a week later, it’s at a frat party, looking down at a girl clinging onto his arms with those same twinkling eyes, smile, dimples, gentle look—eventually laughing then biting down on his lips as he looks away, the red on tips of his ears making you fume more than you’d admit. you don’t know what it was, what exactly made you insane enough to stomp over to him in long strides, wobbly pushing through the drunks, seeing red as you grab taehyun by the arm when he’s of reach—the surprised look on his face only lasting for a second before you furiously turn around, dragging him away from the confused girl that he was getting way too flirty with.
he could’ve easily shaken off your grip, it was weak, but he followed, he let you take him, only when you push him in a non occupied room and lock the door does he finally say something.
“hey, what the fuck was that—”
then you go for it. throwing all logical justifications and reasoning, you pull him into you harshly by the collar of his shirt, crashing your lips onto his. you don’t know what you expected, up to now it felt like you’ve been on airplane mode, but you know it wasn’t what taehyun returns. even if youre the one who came onto him first, he kisses back even more passionately, leaning into you, so quick to be receptive, hands going up to your cheeks as he lets you walk him hard into the door, latching onto your lips as if its a taste of a drug that has him hooked right from the first dose.
he’s so…desperate, it scares you, and turns you on at the same time. every time you try to pull away a little he reels you back almost immediately following your lips, the kiss becoming open mouthed as he breathes in and gets more and more messy, sloppy—he’s so sloppy, it’s the last thing you expected from him.
you finally manage to pull away, both of you catching your breath, with his lips glistening and red, mouth agape, chest heaving, up and down as he stares stunned.
“wha—um, so—fuck, sorry, no wait—” hes stumbling over his words. again, something taehyun never does. whenever hes spoken to you, it always felt so calculated, like every word hes thought over, because it felt so perfect. hes always collected.
you clasp your hand over his mouth, weakly, but he stills shuts up his ramble and jumble of words, blinking at you, with those god damn adorable brown eyes.
“kindly, shut the fuck up.”
his brows twitch a little, but he’s still silent.
your eyes search for something in his, you don’t know what, but it feels like you’ve gotten a green light, sighing. “i wanna fuck you.”
“shit.” he marvels, feeling his breath against your palm, his eyes still just as wide. you don’t know what exactly he’s thinking but if the dick already poking against your thigh was any indication, it was that he wanted it. really bad.
you slip your hand off his lips, then you whisper, fixated on how plump they are, “open your mouth.”
he blinks confused, hesitant until you take it upon yourself to rub your thigh against the tent in his pants, having him almost immediately buckle as he lets out a sinful groan. you should know he’s probably not into what you’re into, so you ease into it, testing the waters as you press yourself flush against him, rubbing your leg up and down against his clothed dick. “feel good?”
“y-yeah, shit, noona, please touch me.”
“i am touching you,” you swipe your hand over his bottom lip, fuck, they really are pretty. and so kissable. you’re shocked you haven’t kissed them sooner.
“no, i want your hand.”
you scoff, he’s so confident with what he wants, and so demanding. bratty. he’s probably so used to dominating. “this isn’t enough? me getting off your crusty dick isn’t enough for you? you’re feeling good, aren’t you?”
you press harder and with no consent of his own, his breaths knocked out of him, a slight squeak by the end that has his ears running red again. your thumb slips into his mouth, easing into it, slowly, before you fully press on his tongue as the friction of your knees against his cock gets more and more frantic and torturous. “you tell me you like me then decide i’m not worth the headache, a week later you run off to another innocent girl you’ll try to break the heart of after getting your fill. someone needs to keep you in check for becoming such an asshole, no? do you have no shame?” you mock, feeding him another finger in his mouth so he can’t retort like you know the smartass in him would do.
he sucks on them, surprising you as you feel his tongue licking eagerly…fuck, how badly did you misread him?
but you can tell with the way his eyes involuntarily water, and the way he shakes his vehemently, he still has the audacity to deny everything.
you scoff, slipping them out of his mouth, string of his saliva coating your fingers and shoving that hand down his pants, promplty grabbing his dick, marveling at the soft, wet feel. he already spilled so much pre-cum—slut. he likes this.
“you don’t like me, you have no right to be jea—hahhh..fuck, you can’t be jealous, you c-can’t. shit, faster, faster please noona, noona…” he whines, delirious as he gets lost at the feeling of your hand, bucking his hips, clearly getting frustrated with how irritatingly slow you’re tugging at his dick.
“i don’t. i don’t like you. i don’t like slutty men who’re bad.”
he whimpers, and fuck does that noise have you pooling your underwear.
“how have i been bad? how? i’m always good to you, i always—”
you twist your hand a little and his head immedietely falls back against the door, mouth hung open as he lets out pathetic, needy pants, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“like it? is it how you imagined it’d feel to have my hands wrapped around your cock?” you press, kissing down his jawline, hand letting out wet sounds as you jerk him off with more speed
“yes, yes, so much better noona, so much—” he chokes on his own words when you suck on his neck, feeling him let out shuddering breaths. cute.
when you use your other hand to trail up under his shirt, feeling up his muscle, you can hear him gulp, and for whatever reason, it turns you on even more.
“fuck, you’ve been trying to dom me, haven’t you?” he breathes out.
you let out an airy laugh out of your nose, grazing your thumb over his nipple, the hitch of his breath being your undoing. “i have been domming you—this entire time. what, don’t like it when a womans in charge?”
he shakes his head immediately, “no, no, i like it. i really do, i like it a lot. i like it when its you, noona.”
even when you have his mind sent to overdrive, he still knows exactly what to say to have your heart racing, it’s dangerous.
“hm?” you hum, throat dry, trying to forget the comment thats repeating over and over in your head. he likes it when its you. you scoff a laugh, “you really know how to get a girl going huh?”
“would treat you right. give me a chance noona, i’ll treat you like a queen.”
“a queen?” you laugh, then pretend to ponder on it as you play with his bud more, his dick leaking through your hand—he’s enjoying it all too much. “think would like goddess more.”
he moans wantonly when you thumb his tip, then transitioning to jacking off his shaft in frantic speed, it gets him delirious. “goddess, goddess, fuck—i’ll treat you like a goddess baby, swear.”
“sure you wouldn’t ghost me?”
his breath hitches again, head dipping into your shoulder, jaw practically hung open, mix of moans and whines spilling out of his mouth dumbly—who would’ve thought, huh? “never. so pretty, you’re so pretty and smart, and and—”
“such a slut, just want your dick touched and you’ll say anything.”
you feel him shake his head, still panting heavily as he grabbles onto you for support. he’s clingier than you expected, he holds onto you so often.
“faster…faster please, ‘m sososo close.” he sobs, his shaky breath fanning on your shoulder.
you chuckle, giving him what he wants, the wet squelching sounds heightening until he breaks. “gonna—gonna-” he spills before he could even finish his sentence, with a high pitched noise he cums in his pants, no doubt creating a big stain in the area of his crotch.
well, shit.
but when he lifts his head, a dopey smile on his face, eyes glazed over still, you think he might not mind all too much.
############
note. long overdue sub taehyun and a noona smut from me 🙏 did they fuck. no. will there be a future continuation of this au. perhaps.
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drchucktingle · 2 months
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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery
this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways
in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK
to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.
in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet
point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’
camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)
POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits
my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'
when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely
so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well
i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL
so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING
feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it
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jkslipppiercing · 7 months
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Needy | jjk oneshot
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♡ summary: your boyfriend often helps you set up for your weekly girls' night...what happens when he gets needy for you only 15 minutes before your girl friends arrive?
♡ pairing: boyfriend!jungkook, dom!jk.
♡ genre: smut, smut, aaaand- you guessed it- smut!
♡ warnings: pure filth, pwp, oral (f receiving), he eats her out, he fucks her from behind, overstimulation, squirting, choking, praise, begging, uh what else- spanking, dirty talk, cursing, creampie, raw sex, penetration, he's basically obsessed with her ass.
♡ WC: 3.2K.
♡ a/n: this is my first time experimenting with smut, so bear with me. please please please never hesitate to share your thoughts about my works with me, constructive criticism is very appreciated, since it helps me write better, and especially if what im writing is for you to read- it would help me to know what you think!
index
taglist
-unedited.
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you place your hands on your hips and settle your gaze on the scene before you.
at least fifty fluffy pillows are thrown all over fuzzy bean bags that occupy the whole space in the livingroom- save for the couch that sits in the middle, faced with the TV.
you're already in your silk PJs, a silk set of shorts- that are above thigh- and a shirt. drinks, beers, and shot glasses are neatly positioned on the table, along with millions of other snacks scattered all over the place.
Jungkook usually prepares the food and snacks like popcorn, chips, and natchos while you take care of the setup with the pillows, beanbags, and blankets.
it's fifty fifty.
every saturday night, jiho and yejun- your girlfriends- get dropped off at yours for a disastrous girl's night where drinks are exchanged and secrets are spilled.
in the meantime, jungkook heads out of the apartment and to his mates'- yoongi and taehyung, respectively jiho and yejun's boyfriends- for what he calls a "mature hangout" which is anything but.
you know for a fact they play video games and gossip about all three of their girlfriends.
speaking of your boyfriend, he waltzes into the living room, two bowls of popcorn stacked on top of each other in one hand and a plate of nachos in the other.
he sets them down on the table and turns to you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you to him rather abruptly.
you squeal, laughing when he wiggles his brows at you playfully before nuzzling his nose with yours.
you wrap your hands around his neck, putting your forehead to his.
soft locks of his hair meet your fingertips in a familiar caress, used to your touch.
your nails gently stroke Jungkook's scalp as he hums in satisfaction, his eyes shutting closed as he relishes your proximity.
"thank you."
"I already told you before, you dont need to thank me, sweetheart."
"i do, though."
"but i dont even do much."
"you do more than enough."
"it's the bare minimum. i wish i could offer more."
"shut up and accept my thanks, dumbass."
he chuckles and you pull away.
seconds later, you find yourself away from Jungkook's arms and frowning at the table, leaning down to fix the placement of the bowls Jungkook had just brought in.
"Kook! You got them wrong again! i always tell you, popcorn, natchos, popco-"
you feel a sharp slap on your ass, followed by a hushed curse.
"fuck."
you straighten, your jaw almost hitting the floor.
you were leaning down wearing short shorts, not paying attention of the possibility of flashing Jungkook. Your ass must've been on full display- scratch that- it was.
turning around, you take in the intensity of his gaze.
the earlier playfulness is long gone, replaced with cloudy chocolate eyes, hooded with something you were always able to identify- lust.
"did you just-"
he pulls you by the waist, catching you by surprise, yet again.
he looks at you in a way that quite literally has you melting, but you cant deny, youve never been wetter.
you can feel your arousal through your panties, only resulting from the mini spank delivered mere seconds ago.
"you're sexy in silk." his husky voice travels over your senses and sends them into overdrive.
just when you thought the situation couldnt get any hotter, his palms trace from your waist down to your ass.
he palms the soft tissue before squeezing it, hard.
your eyes shut immediately as you bite your lip.
his hand retracts only to land on your ass shortly after, sending a jolt of pain through your being and setting you alight with pleasure.
you gasp, incapable of making any other sound.
"bend over."
"w-what- right now?!"
"dont let me repeat myself, Y/N."
"but the girls will be here in fifteen minutes!"
"fifteen minutes is more than enough for me to make you cum more than twice."
more than twice?
dont mind if i do.
the pool of heat in your lower belly grows hotter under his gaze.
this man must be insane.
"go on." he steps away, willing you to get into the position.
you comply, bending over the armrest of the couch and stabilizing yourself on your palms.
"are you sure this is a good idea-" another spark of pain, from your ass cheek aiming to your pussy.
fuck.
you're silenced by the spank, and so, you dont say anything else. you just let the man behind you do his thing. not that you mind...
you can feel his presence behind you, and you're almost begging him to touch you until he hooks his fingers into the band of your shorts and tugs them down.
"i love your ass so fucking much." ...and another spank.
his words leave you breathless. you always knew how talented jungkook was with using his mouth, and he proves you right when he moves the string of the thong you're wearing to the side. he latches his mouth onto your pussy, eliciting a loud exhale from you.
you were never the type to scream your lungs out at the lightest touch, but you're also not hard to please, either.
at first, he works with a few nibbles and sucks on your opening, groaning into your entrance approvingly. he only gets a few gasps from you in return.
his hands are planted on your ass cheeks, spreading them apart as he dives in even deeper.
he surprises you when he pulls away, making you whine in protest but before you can straighten-
"don't move." he says from between your legs. "spread your legs wider for me, baby."
holy shit, this man is going to be the absolute death of you.
you can feel your pussy clenching around nothing at the dirty words, and you grow more achingly weak by the second.
when you do spread your legs, his tongue licks at you, but from a different angle. he switched his position so his butt is sitting on the ground beneath you, his back pressed to the couch. he grabs your hips and pulls you down to him, licking up your arousal from clit to opening then back again.
"so wet. for me?"
you hum in agreement.
it's true.
all for him.
he's no longer testing the waters, taking your clit in his mouth.
he sucks on it, causing you to moan.
you shamelessly moan at the action, but then he adds a finger.
and after he adds another finger, he moans into your pussy, sending vibrations through your body and fogging up your brain.
your mind is clouded, only focusing on the man between your legs, eating your pussy out like a hungered man.
he moves his fingers, slowly at first. you relish the delicious stretch his long fingers offer, moaning in appreciation.
it starts slow, but then his pace grows faster, snatching your breath away with it.
he's still nibbling on your clit, making your head swim.
your moans grow louder when he hits a spot with his fingers, and your mouth hangs open at the sensation.
"think you can handle another finger?" he rasps beneath you.
"please." a husky, breathless plea is all you can muster in this situation.
"please what?" he demands.
he adds another finger, making you take all three at once. he rubs your clit with his thumb, and all your thoughts are thrown out the window. you simply cant think.
his hand makes harsh contact with your ass cheek in a rough slap, doing an amazing job is heightening your pleasure.
"answer the question, y/n." his tone is dark, commanding you to reply, but you simply cant.
"oh, god!" you let out a high pitched moan when he curls all three of his fingers, knowing how to push all your buttons.
he knows. he's mapped out every inch by inch of your body, so you wouldnt be surprised if he reached certain spots even you wouldnt be able to reach.
you know that because you've tested that theory for yourself.
and you were right.
the man is a god at giving mind-blowing orgasms.
"beg for it." is all he says before he goes knuckles deep into you, basically abusing your hole. but it feels too good for you to argue, not that you want to.
he latches back on to your clit, and his fingers remain unrelenting at a fast speed.
"please, please, please!" you chant in a desperate moan for a release.
"Kook!" and right then and there, your orgasm hits you like a train and you tense. the euphoria is injected into your veins, mind-numbing you.
"that's it, baby." Jungkook coaxes you through it, pulling his fingers out to replace them with his tongue. he laps up your arousal, not wasting a single drop.
"you taste divine."
you just came, but now you want more.
Jungkook stands, leaning down to get ahold of you. you were hit with such a strong orgasm that you slumped forward in the midst of it, face planting on the couch like jello.
he hugs you from behind and you arch into him, feeling his erection.
he holds your body with one hand, grabbing your jaw and turning your face to him with the other.
you plant your lips onto his own soft ones, humming in contentment.
"thank you."
"we're no where near done for you to thank me, sweetheart."
you wouldnt come out alive.
"one more wouldnt hurt, right?" you say as if you're trying to convince yourself, aiming the words at you more than him.
he laughs, a deep rumble erupting from his chest. "we'll see."
what in bloody hell is that supposed to mean?!
the hand once holding your jaw now slithered down to your neck, claiming you as his. he pushes your hair to the side, tucking his head into the crook of your neck to place a few kisses there.
he takes your shirt off, your bra going right after as you're left naked for him to play with you.
he chokes you lightly, inhaling your scent as the other hand travels down to cup your pussy.
you're left breathless, even more so when he pinches your clit.
"who does this belong to?" he rasps into your ear, the sound so sexy it sends jolts of arousal through your spine, pooling down to wet slick between your legs.
"you." you mumble under your breath.
he slaps your pussy and you moan, arching your back and grinding back onto him.
"louder."
"you!" you desperately grind on his hand, only for a bit of friction.
"that's right." he snuggles into your shoulder, hand still on your neck as the other teases your entrance. "good girl."
your hands are clutching onto the arm rest for dear life, growing weak. your schest in heaving, and you might explode from all the hormones you're feeling right now.
Jungkook lets go of you, and you hear sounds of clothes shuffling which makes you look over your shoulder to meet his eyes just as he's unbuckling his belt, shirt off, chains on.
you're salivating.
"like what you see?"
he knows he's hot. smug bastard.
you only spread your legs wider as a response, putting your wet entrance on full display only for him to see.
you see him curse under his breath before he crosses the distance between you in a few strides, grabbing you by the neck to kiss you.
his tongue delves into your mouth, roaming, exploring, and dominating all it wants.
again, not that you mind.
seeing no reason in dragging this out any longer, the head of jungkook's cock nudges against your entrance, having you weak at the knees.
you moan into his mouth and he smiles into the kiss, always loving how responsive you are to his actions.
he pins one of his hands down on your hips, keeping you in place as he holds his cock with the other.
he guides it to your pussy, gliding it up and down your slick, causing your knees to waves everytime he nudges it with your clit.
"you ready for me?"
"please." is not even a coherent answer to his question, and he knows that because he chuckles at your neediness.
it started out with him convincing you to fuck him because of his neediness, and here you are now, begging for his cock.
he enters you with just the tip, testing the waters at first.
this isnt the first time you've had sex with jungkook. it's just that he needs to give you time every time because you just never got used to his size.
hes just so fucking big.
he enters you with another inch, then one after another until he bottoms out.
he groans at your warmth and your mouth hangs open at both the sound and the stretch.
"so fucking tight. all for me."
"all for you." you dont recognize your voice. all out of breath and high pitched, but jungkook loves it. he loves to hear you moan and writhe beneath him.
he stays there for a couple of seconds, letting you accommodate to his length.
he leans forward to take your tits in his hand, rolling the pebbled peaks between his thumb and index which makes your breath hitch. he toys with your breasts, kissing your shoulder from behind as he begins to move.
"mmm, fuck." is all he says before he moves his hips, gently. he knows when to be rough when it comes to sex, which causes him to speed up when all you do is breathe loudly.
it's like he has it as his mission to make you moan for him. for his ego.
and you do, because one minute, jungkook is being all lovey-dovey and slow with you, and the other, his hips are snapping into your at an incredibly high speed.
he leans back and grabs you by the hips, only to ball your hair into his fist and tug on it harshly. your hands are back on the armrest, desperately holding on.
he's fucking you relentlessly, groaning deeply at your tightness when you clench harder around him.
his groans are answered with high moans and pleas, and Jungkook speaks, his voice so full of restraint.
"look in front of you, y/n." and that's when you realize that you can see your reflection in the window.
you can see how Jungkook is manhandling you and take you from behind, and that does nothing but push you even closer to your climax.
"Jungkook!"
"can you see it?" he rasps out breathlessly. "can you see how well you take my cock, baby?"
"fuck!" there goes the second orgasm.
"cum for me." it barrels down on you and weighs you down even more than the first, tiring you out.
Jungkook's hand leaves your hair and grabs you by the neck, pulling you even more back to him and arching your back.
that position is the only thing keeping you from slumping forward and face planting onto the couch.
Jungkook thrusts just once, causing you to whimper out of overstimulation.
"i cant. i'm sorry, Jungkook. maybe you can fuck my mouth instead-"
"you did well."
"huh?"
"but you can do better."
hell no you cant-
he rubs your clit, still buried ball's deep inside of you.
the clit stimulation makes you relax a little bit, and maybe you can try.
"okay." you muster out a small confirmation which he gladly takes, except this time, he's anything but gentle.
Jungkook goes faster than he did before, ramming into you from behind but still rubbing your clit.
he squeezes your throat and leaves you little to no space to breathe, then loosens his hold after a couple of seconds.
he fucks you so hard you see stars, sounds of skin slapping against each other filling the room. his balls slap against your pussy, and it just feels divine.
your ass must be red by now, and you just cant breathe.
and then, you're hit with a sensation like never before. you cant see, cant breathe, cant hear, cant speak. a throaty scream snatches out of your throat and this orgasm is like none of the ones you've experienced before.
"you can take it." fuck fuck fuck fuck.
"fuck, kook!"
"yeah, baby? you like the way i fuck you so hard you forget your name?"
"thank you, thank you, thank you-" you're screaming, helpless. he's rubbing your clit, fucking you animalistically, tugging on your hair, and you can see it all in the reflection. you can feel his love for you.
the overstimulation doesnt make you uncomfortable, it makes you breathless.
he slaps your ass and smiles at the handprint.
shortly after, Jungkook curses under his breath and cums, "take it all." he thrusts into you through his orgasm, and when he's done, he pulls out and admires the masterpiece he created.
his cum mixed with yours oozes out of your pussy, and he plays with it, getting the mess all over his fingers.
you turn around just in time to see him suck his fingers clean, maintaining eye contact as he moans in satisfaction.
instead of feeling embarrassed, you step closer to him and kiss him. you both smile into it as you can taste yourself and him on his tongue, which feels amazing.
it feels euphoric.
you pull away, slightly cringing at the slick wetness you feel all over your thighs, which makes you confused.
"did i pee or something?" you say, perplexed, as you look at jungkook, which snorts in response.
"no, baby, you squirted." he gestures to his own lower abdomen, signaling the mess you made all over him. "you did it all over me, too. it was hot as hell."
you've never squirted before.
thats enough proof that he really did go all out this time.
wow.
when you look to the ground, seemingly embarrassed about it, he hooks his finger under your chin and makes you look up to meet his eyes.
"nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetheart." his eyes alone speak volumes. the man loves you more than himself.
"just proof that i fucked you well." he wiggles his brows, making you laugh.
you hug him in response, but then you remember...
"oh my god! the girls! i totally forgot!" you go to take a step forward, but wobble and almost fall instead.
jungkook immediately grabs you by the waist, stablizing you and pulling you to him.
"easy there, you're gonna hurt yourself." he says smugly, knowing he's the reason that's got you so sore.
"i should probably call them and make sure-"
"i already texted yejun saying you had a fever and cant get up from bed." he says a little too quickly.
he did what?
"you did what?!" youre so puzzled right now. "but why?"
"do you think i'm gonna leave you here after literally ruining you just to hangout with my mates?" he raises his brows, a frown tugging them together when he pins you down with a hard stare.
"plus, you need to shower, and you cant do that alone-" he smiles, his bunny teeth showing. "you need me to help." he wiggles his brows yet again, and you catch onto the implication a little too quickly.
there's no way you're surviving a second round in the shower...
right?!
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what do yall think for a first time?
@hoseokteardrop @nochuel @kaitieskidmore97 @nays2112 @jksoftii @yu-justme @meadow-in-spring @bunnykoos @looneybleus @fushigurosdarling @alpha-mommy69 @junecat18 @xjiminsthighsx @tanniesdolls @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @whoa-jo @ahgasegotarmy116 @jksusawife @frgetmenotz @baechugff @partyparty-yah @army130613210521 @drugerlime @allisonstone @hopekive @llallaaa @tarahardcore @hopetookmysoul @betysotelo18 @harmonic55 @ecrvea @awesomebabyyoda @peterstarkchrishiddleston @pinkrockstar19 @sweetestseoul @luv--youu @mochminnie @coletaehyung @whitelies2248-blog @ash07128 @bangtans-momma
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