#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.

[dandyshucks]

blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

[toxikbubblegum]

May Reading Wrap Up

I'm actually really proud of myself. I finished 13 books last month. Spent a lot of extra time away from screens and focusing on my mental health so I burned through way more than I normally would. So anyways, here's my reviews. - Also please understand that these are just my opinions and if I shit on your favorite book I'm sorry that I didn't enjoy it as much as you. Also, also Im terrible with character names.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐

I actually started this book at the end of April but didn't finish it til May 1st so whatever, here it is. This books is a YA urban fantasy novel about a girl with a double life. She spends half her days studying art in Europe and the other half running errands for a tooth collecting wish monger. I don't want to say a whole lot more because I dont want to spoil anything important about the plot. So, I'll try to be vague. Let me start by saying this story is amazing. I loved the writing and the world. I rated it so low solely because I can't stand the two main characters and it really dragged down what would have otherwise been an amazing novel. So yeah, great book but its a preference thing. Also took points off for the insta-love but not really insta-love shit. Idk. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this read even a month later. Gonna read the second to see if maybe my hatred of the two mains was just a fluke.

3/5 Stars

Spellbound by Rachel Hawkins

⭐⭐⭐

This is the third book in the Hex Hall trilogy. Not much to say about it. It was a meh ending to an overall pretty good series. 3/5 stars. Moving on.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

⭐⭐⭐

Realizing now how many of my reads this month were pretty middle of the world. Hopefully next month will be filled with 4 and 5 stars. Anyways, this book was honestly a struggle for me to finish and Im not sure why. It's a YA mystery magical realism story about a tiny coastal town that is cursed by the spirits of 3 sisters who were suspected of witchcraft and drowned 2 centuries prior. Because of this, every year the sisters return from the sea to take the lives of teenage boys by luring them to the sea. We follow the life of kind of meh and standard YA girl #1. She meets a strange non tourist boy and hires him to work in the lighthouse her family owns. Her dad randomly disappeared years ago and her mom is a loon. So yeah... I dont know. I kind of felt like this story was hot garbage in places. I usually dont have any trouble with the suspense of disbelief in magical realism stories but this one just had too many plot holes. Like, I get morbid stuff becomes tourist attractions but why wouldn't someone have stepped in and evacuated the town if at least 3 teenage boys die there EVERY SINGLE YEAR without fail? I honestly feel like the FBI or some other government agency would have cleared the place out after the first 20 or so deaths. There was also the whole MC can see the ghosts of the girls possessing people but chooses not to tell anyone? Like, I get it. You dont want people to label you a freak or think you're crazy but come the fuck on. You live in a tourist trap where people flock to watch local teenage males wash up on shore and you really think the authorities arent going to take you up on the help? It wasn't an awful book by any means. It was well written and extremely descriptive. Just had major beef with some of the details. Anyways, I wont say much more so I don't spoil the whole book.

3/5 Stars

An Enchantment of Ravens by Maragret Rogerson

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Finally, I get to talk about one of my favorite reads of the month. I love anything to do with the Fae in my YAfiction and this was literally everything I wanted in a Fae novel. It takes place in a town called Whimsy, a humanish town in the world of Faerie. The fae cannot do any Craft, or what we would consider craftsmanship. Art and humans who can do it well are very precious in this world because the Fae can't ever do it themselves. We follow the adventures of a girl who has been commisioned to paint the portrait of the Autumn King and the chaos that ensues. Let me just start by saying this is one of those insta-love situations where I feel like it's genuinely ok. I might be making excuses because I loved the title so much but whatever. It's explained and I accept it. Also, I realize that Gadfly had a lovely description but my brain willl not let me picture him as anything but Mr.Waternoose from Monsters Inc.

5/5 Stars

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

⭐⭐⭐

This book started out so good and went downhill very quickly. It follows the story of these two magicians who were fated by their Master's to one day fight to the death. There were so many things I loved about this book only for the last 100 pages to just take a firey dump on my face. I loved the setting and the majority of the characters. The supporting characters were so deep and interesting that I almost cared more about them than I did Ceilia and Marko (Im proabably wrong and I dont feel like googling but I think that was his name) . I don't know. I don't want to complain about anymore meh books.

3/5 Stars

Matched by Allie Condie

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Went into this book expecting to hate it. I usually don't like contemporary love stories but this had major City of Ember meets The Giver vibes and it just appealed to that 14 year old girl in me again. That seems to happen with a lot of dystopian utopia stories. Anyways, story is about a girl who lives in this town where when you hit a certain age you are brought to a place and told who the government has chosen for you to marry. She is matched with her life long best friend and all is well. Except that her little Get To Know Your New Husband microship thing showed her two guys instead of just one. And lots of bullshit ensues. I honestly think I rated this so high because I enjoy the world and not so much whats actually happening to the kids. Like, I loved the idea that art is harmful so the government chose 100 acceptable pieces and thats all these people know. I loved the brutality of the government in general. I can't say much more without spoiling some of the twists but geez did it have me hooked. I'm going to be started the second one soonish, though my TBR for June has gotten intense so we will see.

4/5 stars

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is so fucking good! Not going to rant about it or anything because y'all just need to go read it immediately.

5/5 stars

Would give it every star in the sky if Im being completely honest.

Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh

⭐⭐

Got sucked into this book by the cover and honestly that was the best part of this book. Its about this world where necromancy is pretty highly regarded and used to resurrect the royals after they die. The only downside is that if a living person ever lays eyes on the resurrected person's skin then they turn into these horrible monsters. Maybe it's just me but like that absolutely does not seem worth the risk. Plus, in order to bring the person back, these reapers have to go into the death world and bring the spirit back. And it's HELLA DANGEROUS. So like, WHY? Anyways, there is this stupid underlying love story that I absolutely wasn't invested in. This just all around was not a good book.

2/5 stars

Monster High by Lisi Harrison

⭐⭐

Little known fact~ I'm obsessed with Monster High and Ever After High. So yeah, I realize this wasn't targeted to me as an adult but even going into it with an open mind I was disappointed. Granted I didn't read the description of the book prior. I just saw this franchise I love and grabbed it. First, if you are a fan of the mini series and the movies do not read this. It doesnt follow the cinematic canon and I think that was my biggest problem with it. Frankie's character was all wrong and I hated the whole"Normy" cast. Was really excited for these but I definitely won't be continuing the series. I don't even want to torture myself with seeing how they manage to ruin my sweet baby Draculara.

2/5 stars

Unhinged by AG Howard

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't say enough good things about this series. This is the second book in the trilogy and it was a fanatstic bridge book. It had me engrossed through the entire audiobook. Morpheus is still everything. If you loved Splintered I would highly reccomend continuing.

5/5 stars

Truthwitch

⭐⭐

Have had this on my TBR for a while because of how many Booktubers have hyped the series. Buy, was I disappointed. I was soooooooooo bored. Maybe it's because I don't really enjoy this type of fantasy or maybe it was just the slower paced story but I just slugged through this book. Both of the main female characters were bland to me and I didn't care about their friendship. The world was cool but not enough to keep me invested. Just wasn't my cup of tea.

2/5 stars

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

⭐⭐⭐

Picked this up because of how much I loved The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein and it didn't meet my expectations. It follows this girl who works for a paranormal gorvenment group. She has a special ability that makes her really useful to them so they are trying to groom her basically. They capture this changeling and she befriends him and there is an overarching plot that I just didn't get invested in. The friendship between the two main characters was pretty much the only thing that I enjoyed in this title. The mother figure was insufferable and I just didn't really understand the whole org that they worked for in general. Not an awful book but not fantastic.

Solid 3/5 stars.

The Siren by Kiera Cass

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Going to preface this by saying I might be biased. I love Kiera Cass and have enjoyed almost everything she has written. That said, this wasn't nearly as good as The Selection series but it was a pretty good stand alone novel. It about a girl who becomes a siren on her deathbed and spends the next 100 years serving the sea by luring people to their deaths. After doing this for 70 years, she falls in love and pretty much ruins everything. Loved the characters, especially the male lead. The insta love was a little pet peeve of mine but the love interest was so sweet and genuine that I was willing to overlook it. Pretty good read if you dig supernatural romance.

4/5 stars

June holds the Ghibli-a-thon but also lots of holidays for my family so we will see how much I actually get read. So far my tentative TBR is 5 books but we will see where the days take me.

[ouma--kokichis]

hi there! would it be too much to ask for summaries of hoshi's ftes??

Alright I haven’t dont Hoshi’s FTEs with Akamatsu, but here are the summaries of the ones with Saihara.

Hoshi immediately tries to figure out why Saihara went out of his way to speak to him. He first asks if its got to do with information about the Mafia group he killed off. The other option Hoshi suggests is Saihara assuming that he still wants to play tennis adding that many people make that assumption about him. Saihara tells Hoshi that neither are the case and that he genuinely just wanted to speak with Hoshi.Hoshi then apologizes for making assumptions about Saihara himself stating he has much to learn still.Saihara admits that he is a bit interested in Hoshi’s talent though which Hoshi laughs since Saihara is very honest. Hoshi adds that being honest as a detective could be seen as being foolish more than a good trait.Hoshi however agrees to talk to Saihara about Tennis. (Saihara notes that Hoshi appeared to look very sad, yet somewhat happy and confirms that Hoshi indeed does still love tennis.) Wanting Hoshi to accept the feelings he has for tennis Saihara asks about his teammates. Hoshi mentions “that person”, his club’s captain.

(Just saying this now, there are probably a lot of prince of tennis references here, but since I haven’t watched it much I have no idea. So if i’m not getting a reference, that is why)

Hoshi talks about how his one regret was being unable to break through the captain’s “zone”, a move which the player is able to hit back the balls without moving much. Saihara questions whether that is even possible which Hoshi proudly states that “the captain” was a person that was able to adding that even though Hoshi is the SHSL, he still has much to learn in regards to tennis. His captain, senpai, was known as a Genius. And then Hoshi suddenly mentions another “senpai” which he couldn’t understand, talking about some sort of strange juice they would make that tasted so terrible that Hoshi thought he’d die. A “vegetable juice”, but the taste and colour were definitely not “normal”.Saihara laughs saying Hoshi’s school is full of quirkly players. Hoshi goes quiet for a moment before saying “it was a place you never got bored.” but adds that its no longer a place related to him.Hoshi sighs saying that he spoke too much and apologizes for boring and wasting Saihara’s time. Before Hoshi leaves, he apologizes to Saihara again for the assumptions he made about him in the beginning of the FTE. (This kid is so pure)

The second FTE starts with Hoshi telling Saihara that there shouldn’t be anything to talk about. (Saihara is convinced that Hoshi still hasn’t lost his passion for tennis and wants to him to  accept those feelings.) Saihara is deep in thought and Hoshi calls out to him.Saihara tells Hoshi that he enjoyed the tennnis stories from last time and wanted to hear more about them. Hoshi snorts saying Saihara’s weird for liking them but still asks what else he would like to know.Now we hear about Hoshi’s Rivals. Hoshi begins to talk about people that made an impression on him. Apparently this person defeated Hoshi’s club’s captain. He mentions a move called “insight” that this Rival used and this person was known as the “Emperor”. Hoshi explains to Saihara details about the Emperor’s moves and the many other “names” other players have in the tennis world. There is alot of “hissatsu moves” and breaking of 5th senses and such and Saihara’s like “wait, what? huh???”

Hoshi finally says enough talking because he’s beginning to remember things he does not wish to.

The third FTE begins with Hoshi immediately telling Saihara that he will not talk about Tennis to him anymore. Hoshi says he knows that Saihara was trying to get him to play tennis again or something with these conversations. Hoshi firmly tells Saihara that he is no longer the SHSL Tennis Player, he is the shell that remains and that he threw away his past.Saihara then asks if Hoshi really did “throw everything away” Something a person carries on his shoulders cannot be discarded that easily. “You cannot see your own shoulders, and there is always something that remains there even if you thought you threw it away” (poetic Saihara is saying that even if Hoshi tells himself he threw away his past, there is always something that remains) “It’s something like a coffee stain on a shirt.”Hoshi laughs saying that is a good way to put it. Saihara says this confirms that part of Hoshi still does want to play tennis.Hoshi says its not “tennis” because he did everything knowing full well what the consequences were. When Saihara asks about what Hoshi means, he switches the topic back to “the stains on his shoulders” stating his shoulders do not have any stains. However, the only thing that could remain is the regret Hoshi has towards “them”, someone he has vowed his future with.Saihara is obvious surprised that Hoshi has a lover. Hoshi notices this saying that he is used to that reaction. Saihara realizes that Hoshi used past tense to refer to herHoshi tells Saihara that he met her while studying abroad in America. He wasn’t interested in love and still honestly doesn’t know why he chose her and why she chose him. But now, that person does not exist in this world. Hoshi clearly states that his lover has died. He chose to throw away everything, even the girl that he loved and loved him back.Saihara questions Hoshi, why he would “throw away” someone he had vowed to live the future with.After a pause Hoshi tells Saihara that girls that get involved with him end up being unhappy. Not just girls, but anyone that is involved with him. Hoshi than angrily tells Saihara to stop trying to get close to him. And leaves.

But knowing Saihara, we know this isn’t the end! The fourth FTE begins with Hoshi glaring at Saihara “you know exactly what I want to say, right” Hoshi asks Saihara to stop coming to talk to him, but Saihara states “that isn’t an order”Hoshi sighs, using the words “a terrible person that threw away their lover” to describe himself.Saihara tells Hoshi that he doesn’t believe that. He believes that Hoshi throwing away his past has something to do with him disbanding a Mafia group. Hoshi asks Saihara if he really wants to hear the reason why, noting that its not Saihara’s instinct as a “detective” that is curious about this.

Hoshi tells Saihara his story, which all began with an invitation. The invitation was from a Tennis Loving Mafia head that was opening up a “illegal Tennis Tournament”. Rich people bet money on who wins, gambling. Hoshi said he didn’t want to go, but the invitations would not stop coming, so finally gave in. He thought he’d show them that he wouldn’t listen their demands. Hoshi pretended to take part in the “tournament”. He thought he’d beat up the people that organized this and end it for all. Hoshi says he was still ignorant back then. He didn’t think that would cause his entire family to be massacred. At this time, only his lover was safe, but he didn’t know when she too would be targeted. So he sent her far away. His lover too was killed at that place however. She tried to run away from the Mafia alone, but was unable to. Hoshi says he regrets this, he shouldn’t have let her go and instead kept her close to protect her. That way, she wouldn’t have been alone.Hoshi then tells Saihara that he should know what happened after that - killed the Mafia as revenge, and that sent him to prison. Hoshi tells Saihara that it was something better off not knowing. not being able to say anything else, the fourth FTE ends.

Still one more to go…! Hoshi is surprised to see Saihara come talk to him again, questioning the detective as to why came back. Saihara has not intention to throw away this connection he has with Hoshi, nor does he want Hoshi to cut him off. Hoshi was someone that acted in the way he thought was best, and Saihara does not want to reject someone like that. He doesn’t want someone like Hoshi to say he has nothing. Saihara wants to remain connected with Hoshi, as a classmate, but preferably as a friend.Hoshi is quiet for a moment, but slowly smiles. He then invites Saihara to his SHSL research lab.

The two are at the Tennis Research Lab and Hoshi hands Saihara a tennis racket and ball. Hoshi tells Saihara that he wants to know his resolution, and try to hit him with the ball. To serve the ball at him with the intention of hitting him.Saihara is unsure what Hoshi’s motives are, but he agrees to do it anyways. Hoshi stands on the otherside of the net with a racket in hand. Saihara copies Hoshi’s form and throws the ball and hits it. The ball it hit harder than Saihara imagined and it hits Hoshi. Hoshi laughs saying that it was a nice serve, but still not enough. Hoshi serves the ball back and it zooms past Saihara, brushing past his cheek slightly.Saihara asks why Hoshi is serving the ball back at him too. Hoshi then states that he never said he wouldn’t, but will make sure to not hit him too hard. The two play tennis for a while and Saihara begins to realize what Hoshi had meant when he said he was testing his resolution. Saihara notes how he is having so much fun. After a while they two are breathless and lying on the court floor together.Hoshi begins the conversation with how even if they were to get out, he’d have to go back into prison. But if a time where his crimes would be forgiven, Hoshi wants to go back and pick up the things he left behind. Of course he knows most of them are too late to get back, but if possible he wants to reach out to them again and carry the weights once again. Just like how Saihara has now become a part of his life, he wants continue on.

Saihara says that there is a bond between him and Hoshi now, and he feels because of it, no matter what is to come, he can continue forward.

I know FTEs are optional, but this is one of the reasons why I can’t bring myself to believe that Hoshi truly did allow Toujou to kill him during the second chapter. Although he does say he completely threw away his past, Hoshi himself searches so hard for a “reason to live”. I never imagined such a difficult past to come from Hoshi, and his FTEs are honestly one of my favourite. Doing the summaries and reading them again really made me cry lol TTTT

Thank you for reading this, and I hope the summary helped understand Hoshi a bit more.