#i dont think the show is Better than the books by any means but i like that they’re doing their own thing with it

[piratespencil]

Finished watching Shadow & Bone s2 last night and my Six of Crows obsession has returned full force. Just catapulted me back to 2016-2017. I love those crows so much.

[butchtoads]

People are blazing the strangest things

[starboye]

pairing: steve rogers x male reader

request: Captain America falls in love with his fellow big bubble butt Twunk male reader avenger. Steve asked him on a date which leads to Steve and male reader losing their virginity on the first date; which eventually has them both in a long term married life full of happiness, love, and hot steamy sex with the super soldier with his big hung 🍆 and a twunk with the big 🍑.

warnings: smut, both of you are virgins, cursing, and fluff

a/n: idk how I feel about this one, it feels a lil iffy

you had just gotten back from your most recent mission where you had to stop some robbers from getting away with some stolen bank money with steve and lets just say it wasn't the easiest thing ever as it seemed like steve was occupied thinking on something else "hey what was that out there you seemed preoccupied" you say playfully nudging him "oh it was nothing just thinking" he stammers trying to avoid eye contact with you "well leave the thinking for off the field" you chuckle "yeah" he smiles.

just before you get out the door steve calls out "hey y/n would you wanna go out to dinner sometimes" he asks nervously "are you asking me on a date rogers" you ask with a grin "yeah i guess i a-" he says before getting cut off by the feeling of you kissing his cheek "well than its a date" you say smiling before walking away as steve stands there as his heart is pounding so hard it feels like it gonna burst out his chest.

you meet steve at a fancy restaurant and you guys find a table "I just wanna say you look amazing" he says "well thank you I'd say you look rather dashing yourself" you chuckle "thanks" steve says, you order your food and it soon comes out "wow this looks amazing, how did you even manage to book a place like this I heard they always have a full house" you inquire "compliments to tony he pulled a couple of strings" he says "I'll be sure to say thanks".

after finishing dinner you both walk down the street talking about the latest drama in the avengers compound "hey do you wanna go back to my place" you ask him "y- yeah I would love to" steve stammers at the sudden question before you grab steves hand and playfully run to your apartment, when you get to your apartment you show a nervous steve around.

"sorry it's a little messy I haven't been here in a while" you laugh throwing away done trash that was on your counter and kicking some clothes out the way "oh dont worry my place doesn't look any better" he says looking for some place to sit "oh yeah you can sit on the couch" you say moving some junk off the couch before sitting down on it with steve.

"I really enjoyed tonight" steve says with the biggest smile on his face "I did too" you say admiring steve, after a few seconds of silence steve leans in and kisses you before jumping back just as quickly "I'm sorry I didn't mean too do that" he tries to quickly apologize "don't be sorry I liked it" you say moving onto steves lap and kissing him deeper than before, his hands move to you back holding it firmly.

"should we" you trail off "I'm okay with it if you are" steve says with a bigger smile than before him now about to sleep with his first and best of all his crush "I am" you say taking your shirt off leaving your torso exposed for steve, he feels up and down your body watching how your nipples perk up with each light touch from his digits "you okay there big boy" you chuckle "y-yeah just new to this whole thing" steve says still amazed by your body.

"don't worry it's my first time too" you reassure "really" steve says, on the outside he seemed calm but on the inside he was freaking out at the feeling knowing he was gonna be your first and you were gonna be his first "you wanna take this off" you ask tugging at the hem of his shirt, he quickly obliges and takes off his shirt his broad body now on full display for you.

you run your fingers along his chest, tracing random shapes and admiring his figure "you wanna maybe do it" steve nervously asks "id be happy to" you say getting up and putting on a mini show for steve, stripping off your pants and underwear in an erotic way, you watch as steve follows every one of your movements with his eyes his cock now begging to be let out of its confines.

"how about we get these off of you" you say pulling steves pants off and watching his dick jump out and stand up straight resembling the american flag "I didn't expect you to have a dick like this" you say stunned by the mans large dick "well the super soldier serum enhanced some other things to" steve chuckles "well either way it still looks delicious" you say licking his tip slowly watching him shudder under your touch.

"how are you so good at that" steve asks trying to avoid your seductive gaze "I don't know maybe I just learned it" you say licking his slit, "I bet your bussy feels better" steve says choking down a moan "what" you say holding back a laugh "what" he says innocently "did you just say bussy" you ask almost laughing "what I heard it off porn" he says shrugging his shoulders "yeah you're in desperate need of some hole it seems" you say straddling his bare lap.

steves breath hitches in his throat at the bare feeling "can I kiss you" steve asks trying to control his breathing "you don't have to ask me steve" you say pulling him into a kiss "I wanna feel you" steve begs "okay okay" you chuckle before smearing some saliva on his dick "okay three, two, one" you cut down before sinking onto his dick slowly with a moan.

steves hands quickly find their way to your hips and tightly hold them in place, you sit there for a couple seconds and get used to his large size before looking at him with a "are you okay" look and he replies with a nod, you lift up and sink back down in a rhythm with steve groaning at each move, "I feel like I'm gonna cum already" he says with tightly shut eyes before throwing his head back.

"me too" you moan, your moan brings steves head back up to watch you moan all over him, a dream he's jerked off to multiple times in one day "never did I think id have this chance with you" steve scoffs "well here I am now" you kiss steve before moaning into his mouth as you sink down again "fuck" you huff before cumming all over steves stomach him watching in full awe.

"nghhh" he moans next as he cums in you, his teeth tightened together and eyes shut as his hips erratically thrust upwards trying to ride out his high, after a few more seconds steve finishes and lets out a long breathy huff "fuck that was good" you say dropping your head on his shoulder "sorry for cumming so fast" steve sweetly apologizes "you're good you felt to good" you say "well thank you" he smiles.

it may have only been the first date but steve already wanted to marry you he thought of this so hard he didn't even realize he was staring at you "earth to steve, you okay" you ask with a chuckle "yeah just thinking" he reassures with a smile "you sure do think a lot" you say laying your head back down on his chest "you have no idea" Steve says.

[drdemonprince]

Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!

Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:

Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.

The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:

Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.

Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it

Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.

Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)

In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.

and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.

also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!

good luck!

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[myladysapphire]

His Sapphire Princess (VII)

After the night in the brothel Rhaenyra is married to Laenor Velayron to protect the birth of her child. who in the years to follow is the only one of Rhaenyra's children that is believed to be his, she is loved by all in the red keep, even queen Alicent adores the girl, so when Rhaenyra proposes a marriage between Aemond and Rhaenyra's daughter Visenya, Alicent happily agrees.

The children having been best friends in their youths are more than happy to be wed but when the incident at drift mark occurs things change, will it be for better or worse?

word count: 2,090

CW: bad parenting

Fem!oc x Aemond Targeryen (can be read as x reader)

Masterlist | series masterlist | previous part | next part

disclaimer:  i do not own any of claim any of the A song of ice and  fire characters, all rights belong to GRR MARTIN, all characters are his except for my OC

a/n this chapter is mainly filler and im not that happy with it

Dragonstone

Visenya

After two years and her mothers three failed attempts to get her to abandoned her engagement with Aemond to marry, the now newlywed,Cregan, she was at Dragonstone. Where she was greeted by a new baby brother, Aegon, or Aegon the younger as many referred to him. It was strange, the babe was the exact image of her, had her face, her smile, her eyes, but they were also the eyes and the smile of Daemon, and the face of Rhaenyra. And yet unlike her, this babe was loved, adored even. And she was becomeing more and more of an outsider to her own family. And the babe in her mothers belly would only push her further away.

"Visenya?" she heard Daemon call, despite the hesitancy, the pair had become somewhat close. Daemon having taken up time to train her with a sword, aswell has teach her all that he knew, an activity that had previously been reserved solely to Baela, a fact the girl had ahted so much that she had left to Driftmark.

"Daemon" she replied, looking up from her book, " what is it?"

He laughed, "māzigon sir tala, kostagon iā kepa daor māzigon visit zȳhon tala va zirȳla Brōzio Tubis" he moved forward to pat her head.

come now daughter, can a father not come visit his daughter on her name day

High valyrian, the only lounge her 'father' would speak to her in, "sȳrī seeing hae iksā se mērī mēre qilōni ēza jeldan nyke iā biare Brōzio Tubis ēdan thought tolvys would sagon skipping ziry bisa jēdarī"

sȳrī seeing hae iksā se mērī mēre qilōni ēza jeldan nyke iā biare Brōzio Tubis ēdan thought tolvys would sagon skipping ziry bisa jēdarī

"daorys ēza forgotten, Se ao gīmigon bona, dōna riña" he sighed, "tala, nyke gīmigon skoros bisa Brōzio Tubis means, īlon mirre gaomagon, se aōha muña iksis paktot zirȳla self lēda worry. issa worried syt ao, dōna riña" she scoffed, "nyke gīmigon ziry gaomas daor urnēptre ziry se ēza va moriot issare distant...yn"

no one she has forgotten, and you know that, sweet a girl daughter, I know what this name day means, we all do, and your mother is beside her self full worry. he is worried for you, sweet a girl I know he does cannot show he and she has always been distant...but

"Dont make excuses for her! Gods, my whole life i have been put an arms length away, shown no love by my own mother, all because i am your daughter, and you abandoned her. I should hate you both!" she sneered, before taking a deep breath, "ēza dōrī, daor istin, celebrated ñuha Brōzio Tubis. gaoman daor jiōragon presents, iā gifts, daorun hen zirȳla. Se ao would pendagon bona va ñuha mōrī Brōzio Tubis, se ñuha ēlī lēda zirȳla isse lanta bōsa jēdri nyke would. se yet gaoman daor" she was angry, he could tell that, everyon could. At breakfast her mother didnt even acknowledge her. And in only a few days she would got to kingslanding and marry Aemond. Aemond who as it seemed had also forgotten her.

she has never, not once, celebrated my name day. i do not get presents, or gifts, nothing from her. and you would think that on my last name day, and my first with her in two long years i would. and yet i do not.

"Senya, I am your father, and you are my daughter, your mothers daughter and her heir. She cares, even if she does not show it." he smiled, grabbing her hand "Now your brothers have a surprise for you" he stood up, dragging her with him.

She and her brothers had become closer the few moons she had been back, especially her and Jacaerys.

The gardens of dragonstone had been covered in decorations, balloons and a banner saying happy name day. It was a far cry from the usual balls and feasts, but the next few moons would be filled with that. She had wanted something small, to work as her nameday and going away celebration. All she wanted was two things, a civil day with her family, and cake.

A four tiered cake sat in the centre of the gardens, decorated in pink, white and gold with a single candle ontop.

A big smile graced her face at the sight, making her brothers, who stood to the side filled with excitement. Even baby Aegon had a big proud smile,as if the whole thing was his own idea. Her mother was there, with a small smile gracing her lips, at the sight of her daughter.

Her brothers were quick to tackle her into a hug.

"Happy name day Senya!" Joffrey practically screamed.

Jace watched on with a big smile, before moving to taunt a teary eyed luke. "We have a cake! Come see!" Joffrey spoke, dragging her down the steps and into the garden.

"Make a wish!" Joffrey whispered in her ear, before running off to stand with the other guests, or the lords and ladies that ran with her mother from the red keep to dragonstone.

She made a wish, a wish she would never admit too and a wish she hoped would one day be true.

"Daughter" she heard her mother speak, causing her to look up from the cake. "I wish to talk to you"

"Why?" she asked bewliderd, moving away from the cake to follow her mother. Servants were already moving towards the cake to cut it up and serve, she hoped some would be saved for her, but the eyes of both Luke and Joffrey were staring at the cake with which she highly doubted it.

"Beacuse i am your mother and i...care for you" she replied, her eyes looking down in shame as she struggle to utter the last part, causing Visenya to scoff.

"Of course." she rolled her eyes.

They moved away to talk in an alcove away from the celebration, away from prying eyes.

"Are you sure-"

"Yes!" she innturrupted, "for the last time mother, Aemond and i have been friends our whole lives, and though we have become distant in the past years is does not mean that this wedding is something i no longer want, and the realm will be better for it. It will ease tensions between the branches of our family and hopefully unit them."

Her mother nodded her head. " i know that, but- "

"No, mother, dont try. Am I still your heir?" she asks, causing her mothers eyes to snap to hers.

"Yes, I promised you it...I will not take it back, just like my father didn't remove me as heir once Aegon was born."

She sighed, "Then, me marrying Aemond will hopefully appease the greens, their blood will still sit on the throne"

Her mother moved closer, and took her hands in hers, "you are my daughter, it is my job to worry, dōna riña." Visneya flinched at the words.

"And yet you have never seemed to care before" she moved back, her mother eys filling with pain.

She took a deep breath " you are right, i have..i have not always been...there for you- but i want to be now"

"Now?" she asked bewildered " now? Now that I am leaving in a few days, now that I am about to be married?now?" she asked, her voice breaking. "Why do you care now?"

Her mother looked down, tears in her eyes "because Daemon-"

"Oh Daemon! of course! Of course he is why you care. He was the reason you hated me to begin with, and now! Gods, it's so- i" it was ridiculous that's what and she hated it, and yet she could'nt bring herself to hate her mother.

She took a deep breath, and moved towards her mother, "i leave in less than a week, we should not argue, we- no you should be ofr once in my life civil with me, show me an ounce of the love you showed my brothers, and be my mother." she stepped back, looking over to the party, jace was looking over, his face filled with concern.

"Tala,-" her mother began, "Avy jorrāelan, gaoman. nyke vaoreznuni bona gaoman daor urnēptre ziry yn - istia shifang skorkydoso qopsa īles naejot jurnegon rȳ aōha laehurlion tolī daemon geptot nyke, se ōdres hen ziry haunted nyke rȳ ao se nyke dōrī teptan se bonf iā muña should emagon lēda zirȳla tala iā chance, se iksan vaoreznuni"

Daughter....i love you, i do... im sorry that i do not show it but - you must understand how hard it was to look at your face after Daemon left me, the pain of it haunted me through you and i never gave the bonf a mother should have with her daughter a chance, and i am sorry.

Visneya simply nodded her head and moved forward, she had heard nothing new today, it was the same old argument she seemed to hve with her mother everyother day.

"Senya!" she heard Jace call as she walked down the halls, she wouldnmt stop, she couldn't. She just wanted to get away. "Visenya!" he called again, finally catching up. He placed his hand on his shoulder stopping her. "What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing, it was the same as usual, that's' all" he nodded his head, seeing hse didnt want to talk.

"Here I stole some of the cake from the party-your party" he pulled out two slices of cake wrapped in napkins from his pockets, "we can go to your chambers and eat them if you want" his eyes had a longing in them, hope.

She nodded her head, walking towards her chamber door. They ate in silence, relaxing in each other's company.

"I'll miss you" he spoke suddenly, his voicebraking.

"And i'll miss you" she replied, taking his hand "ill miss you all" she said, turning to face him, hand in hers. "I'll miss everyone," she smiled.

"No '' Jace shook his head, "i'll miss you" his eyes had such a sotrng loinging in them, a longing she now finally realsied was for her? He leant forward, leaning in to kiss her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, jerking back.

Jace grew flustered, a blush coming to his face, "i-im sorry, i-i thought that!-"

"You thought wrong! Gods jace....i" she sighed, he was hurt, "i am to be wed, and mother is planning an bethrotahl between you a Baela, i- we can not and i do- i don't look at you that way"

Her heart broke at the look on his face, "perhaps it's best if you leave"

He nodded his head and left.

She was confused, Jace had never been like this with her, at least she didnt think so. Their mother had never hinted or asked for them to consider the chance of marrying eachother. In fact she seemed quite opposed to the idea. Perhaps Daemon had mentioned something, he had taken Jace to a tour of brothels for his last nameday. She had heard that he had only picked one to bed, a woman with silver hair and violet eyes, one that looked very similar to her. Even made replicas of her clothing and responded to her name. Creepy. She had known of childhood crushes on her, Aegon had been obsessed with ehr as a child, and prepas now, if his letters were any inclination. But Jace? It was just straight up confsuing.

"syt qogralbar sake, qubāje Brōzio Tubis mirre!" she mumbled falling back onto her bed.

for fuck sake, worst birthday ever!

The next few days were spent relatively alone. Her youngst brothers her only company. Before she knew it it was the day they were leaving. Her room was fully packed, only the base furniture remained. It was funny she hadn't even lived her a year and there would be no trace of her ever being her. She had no fond memories of this place. She doubted she would miss it.

Now winterfell she did miss. She missed Creagn. He had become her closest friend and confidont. But he was a thousand leagues away, it took an age to receive and send letters. She hoped one day she could visit, meet the child in his wifes belly and see him as lord of winterfell. If his uncle ever stopped being power hungry and actually gave his nephew his birthright.

"Tala" she heard her mother call out, " we are about to leave".

she should be exicted, years and longing to be with Aemond and yet suddently years of fustration filled her, yeards of letters sent and no reply.

she was to be his wife in a moons time, a moon of celebrations, fo tourneys and feasts.

but she didnt know him, not anymore, the last she had seen him, and spoke to him was that fatefull night at winterfell.

for all she knew he had become like Aegon, or he had stayed exaclty the same. or worse she had become something, somone she knew nothing about.

she knew there would be changes, with Aegon and Heleana married with children. she feared going back, and yet she knew it was her home. A home she never wanted to leave, but she feared she wouuld retun and feel even more alone than she did here.

next part

Taglist (bold means could not tag)

His sapphire princess: @cathy1514 @iiamthehybrid @melllinaa @aleemendoza2425-blog @cassandra1995-blog1 @deltamoon666 @aelora-a @ryiana @isa-beenme @unique7676 @adriennepoison

HOTD: @taragryenmoony

Aemond: @blossomedflowerofluv @violet-potter

General: @flrboyd @theanxietyqueen17 @zillahvathek @dark-night-sky-99 @apollonshootafar

[thelov3lybookworm]

To Love and Cakes

Summary: Y/n is the daughter of a flower and gardening tools shop's owner in Velaris. When he gets sick, y/n makes her father take some rest and looks after the small shop herself. But she is new to all this as her father never let her work a day in her life.

One day, as she's looking after the shop, a red haired high fae comes looking for gardening gloves as a gift to someone. Y/n helps him, and learns that he is a frequent customer.

Due to his frequent visits, they soon develop a bond. More than friends, but not lovers.

Yet.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: i dont think there are any but still, here we go. elain being a sour and jealous mate even though she's been sailing on the elriel ship, a few curse words and all. Can't think of anything else, so let me know if i need to add anything.

A/n: this thing has been in my draft for faxing months. This is, to me, the best work of mine. This is my baby. I LOVED writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading it.

(ps. even if youre not a lucien girlie, try reading it. i have a secret agenda to make every one of you creatures a lucien simp, just like im trying to make @artists-ally a lucien simp)

(also, the scene towards the end where reader is dancing was inspired by one of the fbaa books, if it seemed familiar or you were wondering)

t'is a long one children, Enjoy!

•○🌑○•

As Y/n finished walking around the store, cleaning, she thought back to the morning two days ago.

She had just woken up and was walking towards her father's kitchen for breakfast when she heard it. A cough. She quickened her pace, entering the kitchen to find her father bent over, his body heaving from the coughs.

She rushed to him, helping him to the nearest chair. When she bought him some water, he smiled up at her gratefully.

"How many times do I have to tell you to take some rest, father? Why won't you let me help you?"

"I might be getting old, but not that old that I need to rely on my daughter to help me earn. Unless you are trying to steal my shop?"

"Father!" She said, exasperated, even though she knew he was just saying that to irritate her. "You are staying home till you get better. I'll take care of the shop."

"But you don't know anything about it." At the glare she gave him, he finally conceded. "Let me help for today atleast. Show you how to handle it. I promise I'll rest."

She had come to visit and stay with her father for some days, having just quit her previous job, searching for a new one. They were well off, the house that Y/n lived in owned by her. She had wanted to see if her father needed any help around. Which he didn't. He wasn't very old and ill by any means, he just didn't know when to stop. That's why she had already made her father agree to closing the store earlier and taking the weekends off.

As Y/n put away the cleaning equipment in the back of the store, the bell above the door rang, announcing the arrival of a customer. As she hurried to the front desk, she caught a glimpse of the beautiful male that was waiting from behind a shelf.

He had dark crimson hair cascading over his shoulder that looked like fire, with one russet eye and one that was a golden metal one, which was whirring. A scar marred the skin surrounding that eye and trailed to his jaw.

Y/n quickly averted her gaze when she realised she was staring. He hadn't yet noticed her though, looking around the shop. She stepped out from behind the shelf and cleared her throat.

He turned to her at once, giving her a warm smile.

"Hello. How can I help you today?" She asked with a small smile.

"I'm looking for enchanted gardening gloves."

She wracked her brain for the location of said gloves before perking up. "Right this way." As she led the way, he followed a respectful distance away. To fill the silence, she spoke up. "Are you from Night Court? You don't seem like you're from here."

"Yes. I'm from... Autumn Court." His hesitation was evident, and Y/n didn't push.

"Here we are." She said, stopping in front of the gloves stacked neatly on a shelf. She left him alone when he nodded.

She began sorting out her desk, her father's, really, which was near the entrance to the shop.

By the time she finished, the male was done with his browsing and bought out the gloves to the desk to pay for them. The whole ordeal went silently and quickly. With a word of thanks and a 'good day', he was on his way.

•○🌑○•

Lucien's pov.

He stared at her. His mate.

He wondered if, under other circumstances, she would have not despised him. Could she have ever loved him the way others loved their mates? Would the two of them be together if there was no cruelty in this world?

He answered those himself.

The first one? Probably.

The second one? Maybe.

The third one? No.

Because, if there was no cruelty in this world, his love, one his father had killed, would not be dead. Jesminda would be alive still. And if she was alive, he wouldn't care for anything, even his own mate.

And maybe that made him an asshole, but he couldn't bring himself to care as he stared at Elain smiling at the Shadowsinger from the corner of the room, nursing a glass of whiskey.

He looked around the room, his eyes landing on the gift he'd bought for her. It was enchanted gardening gloves so her hands wouldn't get cut. Of course, the present had been discarded in a corner, unopened. It wasn't as if she didn't notice the gift. No, he had seen her look at it before placing it aside from her other gifts.

He'd seen her do that, and his heart had been pierced by an arrow. At least it felt like it.

As he stared at the gift, his mind drifted to the shop where he had bought it from. The shop run by the female. He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop thinking about her. She hadn't even said much, but she had simply caught his attention.

He blinked when a loud laugh interrupted his thoughts, looking at the inner circle sitting in the center of the room and having the time of their lives, while he sat in the darkest corner he could find. He knew he didn't fit in here, and that most of them didnt trust or like him.

He didn't know why he had accepted Feyre's invitation to stay for the night when he knew he'd be miserable.

He had thought that maybe, just maybe, they would include him in their fun. At least for one night.

He felt so dumb now.

After a little bit of contemplation, he decided it best if he left. No one was going to miss him anyways.

Quietly, he downed the whiskey in his glass, then rolled onto his feet. He set the glass on a nearby table, then turned towards the door. He walked towards it, his boots making no noise.

As he exited the room, there was no sign of the festivities slowing down. None. He removed his coat from the nearby hook, donning it as he stepped out, the door clicking shut behind him.

It wasn't until Lucien was out of the house that the sounds faltered for a brief moment, but then the laughter started back again, and Lucien sighed, his breath misting in front of him. He stared at the little cloud of fog in front of his face.

He didn't want to go home– if it could even be called that– not yet. The night was still young. Maybe he would go on a little walk around Velaris before he returned to the mortal lands.

He started the trek across the city, walking slowly, letting his mind wander, his eyes seeing everything but taking nothing in. It was like a waste of time, looking at the beauty but not caring enough to appreciate it.

He sighed, making his way through the vibrant market place. The children running around the place, candies in their hand, adults lingering around the place with their lovers and families truly added to the beauty of the festival.

But Lucien's eyes were unseeing, his heart unfeeling as he avoided the running and giggling children.

Someone slammed into Lucien from somewhere near him, and that finally broke him out of the haze that he'd been in.

He glanced at the fae leaning against him, trying to gain her footing in the crowded area.

"I am so sorry. I got pushed–" The female looked up at him, finally stable on her feet. She cocked her head, a smile spreading on her lips. "Oh. It's you."

He returned the smile, somehow easier than it should have been considering the foul mood he'd been. "It's me. I don't think I caught your name this morning."

The lady from the gardening shop grinned, her cheeks rosy, glowing with happiness. "Y/n."

"Lucien." He mumbled, studying her. She nodded, holding out her hand. He took it.

Then they stood there, awkwardly trying to figure out what to say. "Um... enjoying solstice?"

"Yeah." She returned, a relieved expression on her face. "Just left the house after dinner. My father said he's going out with some friends, so I decided to head out for some desserts. You?"

"Not really..." That was not the right answer, but Lucien was struggling to put on his mask of indifference.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Are you alone?"

He smiled ruefully as he looked away. "Very."

After a moment of silence, the lady spoke up again. "What are your thoughts on some cake? Pie? Or maybe cookies?"

Lucien blinked, then glanced at her. "What?"

She grinned, turning away and gesturing with her hand to follow her. Seeing that he had no other reason to haunt the streets of Velaris, he followed her.

She weaved in and out of the crowd, walking with purpose towards her destination. She stumbled sometimes, due to being pushed around by the crowd, but mostly by herself. She seemed to have a problem walking without tripping.

She tripped again, so bad that Lucien had to catch her elbow to stop her from faceplanting. She grinned up at him sheepishly.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Are you... drunk?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I don't drink. It's taste is disgusting."

A small smirk made is way into Lucien's face, but he simply nodded at her to keep going. She continued on.

Soon, she was walking into a brightly lit shop, cakes and various baked goods displayed through the glass.

"This is my favourite place for sweets and baked items. It's really good."

She went to open the door, but Lucien stretched out his hand and held it for her. She blinked at him before smiling and stepping in to the warm interior.

"Hello." She greeted the kind looking old lady behing the counter, who smiled widely.

"How are you today?"

"I'm good. How about yourself?" Y/n replied.

"I'm good, I'm good. Just these joints creaking a little extra nowadays."

Y/n grinned fondly. "Maybe you should just get some rest, you old hag."

"Oh shut it. I will rest once I know I have succeded in convincing you to get a partner. Mother knows how lonely you must be."

"I'm not lonely, you old hag. As long as I have you and father, I will never be alone."

"Yeah yeah whatever." Then the old female seemed to notice Lucien, and her eyes lit up. "Are you finally seeing someone?"

Y/n blinked, then glanced at Lucien. Her lips parted, then a flush climbed up her neck. She furiously shook her head, and the old lady sighed.

"Well, hope I'm not dead when you finally decide to interact with others." The female bustled away as other people walked upto the counter to place their order.

Y/n turned to Lucien, her face red, and she gestured to the display of sweets. He grinned when she turned away again. "Choose what you would like to try. I always go for pineapple, but chocolate is also good."

Lucien dipped his head in a nod when she glanced at him to make sure he understood her, and then the two of them went on to get their cakes.

As they were about to leave the shop, the owner of the shop called to him. "Psst. Hey! You!"

When Lucien glanced up questioningly, the lady Y/n had been talking to motioned at him to come closer. He inched towards the counter behind which the lady stood as Y/n talked to another one of the workers.

"What are your intentions for her?" The lady hissed at Lucien as soon as she was sure no one could hear her.

Lucien blinked, taken aback. "What?"

"Don't you dare even think of hurting her. Males have hurt her enough. She is a pure soul, and if you hurt her, then I will carve your eyes out with a spoon. You hear me young man?"

Lucien nodded, dumbfounded. Thank the cauldron though, Y/n decided that moment to walk up to the two of them.

The old lady smiled at her, and then shooed Y/n and Lucien away. Y/n rolled her eyes and led Lucien out of the shop.

She crossed the road and settled onto one of the many benches overlooking the Sidra. She patted the place next to her and he obliged, studying her.

"What were you and the old hag talking about?"

"Nothing..."

Y/n raised a brow but stayed silent as she dug into the treat in her hands.

The two of them sat in silence as they ate, staring at the waters of the Sidra.

Unfortunately, soon enough the two of them were done eating, and Y/n turned to Lucien. She smiled. "Did you like the cake?"

Lucien gave her a smile. A genuine one, one that felt like he hadn't smiled in centuries. He probably hadn't.

"I did. Thank you for making my solstice better."

"I enjoyed the time too, no need to thank me."

And then the two of them parted ways, Lucien thanking her again and her telling him not to worry about it.

Lucien watched her until she had vanished between the crowd, then he turned and decided to walk to secluded place before he winnowed back to human lands.

A soft breeze caressed his face, and he closed his eyes, savoring the cool touch. His mind drifted back to Y/n.

He smiled softly, opening his eyes and leaning his head back, staring at the stars twinkling down at him, as if they were winking.

Maybe... just maybe, not all fae were miserable and hateful.

Maybe there was someone out there, like Y/n, who would not hate him for simply existing.

•○🌑○•

Y/n's pov.

Y/n only had one thought in her mind, and that was to hurry up.

She had been out in the market, getting the things she needed according to the cooking book she had recently bought.

She had decided to surprise her best friend since childhood with a home baked cake, and hence the rush to get home and start the preparations.

The catch?

Y/n was shit at baking.

The few times she had tried to bake, she had either ended with something that was too hard to even be called a rock, or with something that vaguely resembled... puke.

Even thinking about it sent shivers up Y/n's spine.

But back then she hadn't used a cookbook's instruction, she tried to reason with the sane part of her brain, the one that knew this was a bad idea.

Hurry up-

And she smacked into a wall. A very warm wall.

All her bags slipped from her hands and onto the ground as she stumbled back, barely keeping herself from falling onto her ass.

She lifted her head to apologise to whoever she had crashed onto when her eyes met russet and gold. Lucien.

She paused as she watched him cock his head, a little smile spreading on his features.

"I seem to notice a pattern, Y/n."

She lifted an eyebrow as she bent to gather her stuff. He followed. "What pattern?"

She tried to shoo him off by waving her hands, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. "You are always crashing into me. That sounds like a pattern to me."

She scowled, knowing that if her father or any of her friends saw her, they would yell at her for being disrespectful to someone who was helping her.

He grinned, glancing at her as he stood, most of her bags in his hands.

"Do you need any help carrying these?" He questioned when she climbed to her feet too, and she blinked.

"Oh no, it's alright. I'll carry them myself. I don't want to bother you."

"I insist. And it's really not a bother. I have nothing else to do. These are really heavy, let me help."

"You really don't have anything else to do?"

He smiled triumphantly, as if he knew he had won. "I don't."

She sighed. "Fine then. My house is nearby. Thank you vey much."

He shook his head, that smile still on his face. "No worries."

She led him to her house, a peaceful silence between the two.

It wasn't long before they reached her house, and she turned to him, keys in her hand.

"Please come in. Let me make you some tea." That was the least she could do for him.

"Oh no, that is unnecessary, I don't want to bother you. It was my pleasure to help."

"I insist. And it really is not a bother." She smirked, throwing his words back at him.

He shook his head, grinning. "Fine."

She let the two of them in, setting about to get some tea ready. "So, may I ask what you are going to with these?"

When Y/n turned to look at him, he gestured at the bags he set on the counter.

"Because from what I saw outside, these things are usually used for baking."

Y/n smiled. "Yeah. It's my friends birthday today. I was thinking of making her a cake."

"That's great. Do you bake often?"

Her smile now turned sheepish. "No. I tried a couple of times, back when I was younger," -six months ago- "and I damn near brought down the whole kitchen once."

Lucien chuckled. "So now you think you can do it properly?"

She picked up the cookbook nearby and waved it at him. "I will follow instructions this time."

Judging by the amusement in his eyes, she thought he would laugh, but he didn't. He simply extended his hand towards her and asked, "Can I have a look?"

She handed it to him, turning to check on the tea she was brewing.

The sound of the pages being flipped were the only sounds other than her pouring the liquid into cups for the two of them.

When she turned back around, she found him staring intensely at the book, his brows furrowed, a downward tilt to his mouth. She tried to make no noise as she set down the cup in front of him, hoping to not disturb his concentration.

But he glanced up at her, frowning. "This won't work. This is too complicated."

Y/n blinked, taken aback by the seriousness in his eyes and words. "What do you mean?"

He closed the book, setting it aside as he pulled the cup of tea towards him. "Baking is simpler than whatever bullshit is given in there."

"You know how to bake?"

"I helped my mother when I was younger."

"And exactly how many years ago was that?"

His eyes narrowed. "How many years since you baked anything?"

That made Y/n shut up.

She sighed ruefully. "Maybe I'm just not supposed to bake."

Lucien shook his head. "I can help."

She glanced at him. "What?"

He shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do anyways. I can help you bake the cake."

"I don't want to bother-"

"Its not a bother. I would love to help."

Y/n smiled behind her cup as she took a sip of her tea, a warmth spreading through her chest.

"Thank you. I appreciate the gesture." Then, she looked at the redhead for a moment longer before turning away. "And you know what? I am noticing a pattern too."

•○🌑○•

After a day filled with trying to decide on the flavour for the cake, the decorations, making the cake and laughter, it was finally time to sleep.

The party had been perfect, so many memories made, and so many things she could think about.

But no matter what, Y/n couldn't stop thinking about him.

She didn't remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so thoroughly around a male, let alone one she knew nothing about.

And as she went to sleep that night, trying not to think of how his eyes twinkled in amusement when she had dropped an egg on the ground- huffing and puffing- she failed to keep that smile off of her face.

•○●⛦●○•

Lucien's pov.

After the day filled with helping her bake, correcting anything she had been doing wrong and watching as happiness spread across her face when the cake came out almost nearly perfect, it was finally time to sleep.

The day had been perfect, a reprieve from the constant ugly thoughts Lucien had about himself. Memories had been made, though unexpected.

But no matter what, Lucien could not stop thinking about her.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed himself so thoroughly around someone, let alone someone he barely knew anything about.

And as he went to sleep that night, trying not to think of how she had jumped around and squealed in excitement- so much so that she had nearly burnt herself by the hot pan- Lucien failed to keep that smile off of his face.

•○🌑○•

Y/n's pov.

Soon enough, Y/n learned that the handsome male with the metal eye, Lucien, was the Lucien Vanserra. The youngest son of the High Lord of Autumn Court.

He frequented the shop after that day they spent baking, him and Y/n becoming fast friends. He'd told her that he lived in the human lands with his friends, Jurian and Vassa.

Recently, she had learned that this Jurian he was friends with was the Jurian from the war centuries ago, the powerful human commander, remade by the Cauldron.

Expect Lucien to surprise a four hundred year old fae who thought she could not be surprised about anything anymore.

Y/n shook her head with an exasperated grin, finishing braiding her hair. She had spent the whole afternoon wondering what hairstyle would look good with her dress for her meeting with Lucien, eventually settling for a simple braid. Few strands framed her face, and she thought it looked better than any elaborate hairstyle she could have done.

Even after six months of being friends with him, he never failed to shock her by telling her things about himself.

He had sent a letter in advance that he would be visiting today, and he wanted to meet with her in their favourite cafe before reporting to the High Lord.

She had, of course, agreed. He was the only friend she had other than the female she had baked for, what with her being cooped up in her home with a book in hand when she wasn't working in the nearby jewellery store.

A knock sounded on the door, and Y/n practically flew down the stairs, taking a deep breath to calm her heart before opening the door.

There he stood in all his glory, smiling at her. The fading sunshine made his hair look on fire, his skin glowing.

"My lady. You look quite...dishevelled." He murmured, his eye twinkling. Y/n frowned, lifting her hand to her hair. It had looked good when she checked it in the mirror. Maybe the braid didn't look as good as she thought it did. In which case, she wanted to go and jump off a cliff.

Before her hand could touch her hair though, Lucien caught it, grinning and pressing a kiss to her knuckles, all the while maintaining eye contact. Y/n blushed.

"When I said dishevelled, I meant you look like you've run a mile. That looks exquisite." He said, straightening and flicking her forehead. "You look exquisite."

"Shut up." She mumbled, shoving his shoulder and stepping out, turning to lock the door. When she had finished, she turned to find him leaning against a pillar of the front porch. He smiled and inclined his head towards the road.

They walked towards the cafe, talking about his past days in the human lands and her job at the jewellery store. How she didn't really care for it and was thinking of taking up something else.

They soon reached the cafe which stood right on the banks of the Sidra and had outdoor seating as well in the backyard, right next to the river. As they settled down in their usual seat in a corner right next to the river, her eyes sharpened on the paper stuck on a nearby wall.

"Hey Lucien? Do you see that?" Y/n questioned, making Lucien glance back at it.

"Yeah. Looks like they're hiring." Lucien's eye lit up as he turned back to her. "You should try." She nodded enthusiastically.

Soon, they finished their food and Lucien was waiting to pay, having insisted on paying while Y/n talked to the hotel's owner. She was quite happy Y/n said she wanted to work there. They finally settled on her starting in two days.

After that, as they were walking home, the delicious smell of freshly baked cakes reached them. Y/n grinned at Lucien who took her arm and walked towards the stand where an old lady was selling small round cakes that were the size of Y/n's palm. They made idle conversation with her while she handed them their treats.

"You two make a good couple. Are you mates?" She asked as soon Y/n took a bite. Which was very unfortunate as she immediately choked on it. Lucien patted her back, grinning as he turned to the lady.

"No, we aren't mates. We're just friends."

"What a shame. But maybe the bond hasn't made itself known yet?"

Lucien shook his head with a sad smile. "That would've been wonderful, really." Y/n's had whipped to him, her eyes wide. Did he just say what she thought he did? Could it be that he... no. That was stupid. He had a mate that he would die for, regardless of whether she liked him back. He would never...

"But I already have a mate." He continued.

"Oh I'm so sorry then for assuming things."

"Don't be. It's not like it matters anyway. She doesn't want the bond."

"Oh mother, that's truly unfortunate. Maybe you could be with someone else? I loved someone in my youth, but he never paid me any attention. Then one day my friend advised me to forget the male. Now I'm married to my friend and I think I couldn't be any more happy."

Lucien looked thoughtful. "That's a good advice, I must say. And I'll definitely think about it." He winked at Y/n, making her blush furiously.

They continued on after that, though there was silence now compared to their earlier mindless chatter. And it was filled with tension. Y/n wrapped her arms around herself, staring into the waters of the Sidra nearby.

As they walked, her mind wandered to what Lucien had said to the woman. Could he really mean what he had said? He wasn't one to joke about such serious matters... but then again, maybe he was jesting.

Soon, they had reached her house, and she stepped up to open the door.

"You want to come in? We can have some tea..."

Lucien smiled. "I would love to if it's not a problem."

As she set about making the tea, he sat watching her every move. Which made her work extremely carefully, wondering if he was judging her. Which was absurd. Because, not only would Lucien never judge her, but also because she never would have cared for something so trivial as someone judging her. So why did she care now?

Because you lov–

She shut the thought down before it even finished.

•○🌑○•

Lucien's pov.

It had been over a month since he had seen his Y/n, and he was already craving her presence. Initially, he been able to go longer periods without meeting his friend. But as time went on, he became more and more enraptured with her and shorter and shorter became the time period between his visits.

The way she laughed on anything he said. The way her eyes would light up when she looked at him. The way he could make her blush by just looking at her. How she would get excited when taking about the newest book she was reading or when she learned something that made her happy.

He just couldn't get enough of her sometimes. All he wanted to do was stay and bask in her presence.

Of course, it wasn't possible, what with his work of going back and forth between human lands and the Night Court, as well as Day Court, where he had been spending some time getting to know his father.

It was a shock when he found out that Beron wasn't his real father, but he was adjusting. She had a big part in his acceptance. And he was grateful for it.

Now, he was going to leave his emissary duties for the Night Court, going to live in his father's court permanently. Which was why Feyre had decided to have the whole of the inner circle and him go out to eat for dinner. Lucien had suggested the cafe by the Sidra for the ordeal.

The place where Y/n currently worked.

He was smiling at his thoughts of her when he knocked on the door of the River House. Nuala opened it, greeting him with a smile before letting him enter. There was already sounds of chatter coming from the living room as he walked towards it. Everyone was here then. Great.

The quicker this was over, the faster he could spend time with Y/n.

He would leave soon, but that didn't mean he wouldn't come back to Velaris. He had important people here.

He had informed Rhys about his departure a few months ago, and had agreed to stay till they found someone who would be willing to take up the duties of Lucien. They were still searching for someone, so Lucien was still the emissary.

•○●⛦●○•

Lucien tapped his leg on the floor impatiently, his eyes constantly flitting between the tables and booths in search of his friend.

It had only been a few moments since he had arrived with the inner circle, but he simply couldn't wait to catch a glimpse of her.

While he was searching for Y/n, he failed to notice the High lord and lady's, as well as the entire inner circle's eyes on him.

He craned his head, and he finally heard that beautiful voice he'd been dying to hear from behind him.

"Good evening. May I take your order?"

He turned his head so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash, but Lucien didn't care as his eyes met those of Y/n's.

Her mouth lifted at the edges, a knowing look in her eyes as she turned away to converse with Rhysand.

His brain didn't process the words being exchanged between the two, he was so busy admiring her.

And wondering when the damn dinner will be over so he could finally talk to her and catch up.

When she left the table after taking their orders, she distcreetly brushed her hand against his bicep, pulling a smile on his face.

Just an hour or so. He reminded himself as he focused on the table in front of him, ignoring the looks of the inner circle, including Elain.

Which wasn't all that hard.

•○●⛦●○•

The time seemed to pass slower, just to torture Lucien that night.

Right when Lucien was about to loose his patience, everyone had finished dessert, and were on the verge of leaving.

Lucien stood, nodding at Cassian and Azriel in goodbye, hugging Feyre and shaking Rhys's hand. Making some excuse- unconvincing, he was sure- about having to go meet up with Vassa and Jurian, he walked away, eyeing the place Y/n had disappeared into.

He knew that she was about to leave, had probably already left, and he couldn't wait to tell her all the juicy stories he'd acquired over his recent travels, as well as the budding tensions between Vassa and Jurian.

The moment he stepped out onto the road, he heard her voice.

"So desperate to meet me fox boy?"

Lucien smirked, turning to find the owner of the voice leaning against a wall. "You wish."

Her eyebrows lifted as she pushed herself off the wall. "Sure. Didn't seem like it was just my fantasy when you were searching around like an eager puppy."

He grinned, though a flush climbed up his neck at being caught red handed. "Just wanted to see you so I could tell you about Vassa and Jurian."

Y/n grinned, throwing her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his neck. He returned the hug in kind, warming up his body a little through his magic so he could ward off the chill in the air surrounding them.

They stayed in the hug for longer than seemed appropriate, but no one was watching anyways. And neither of them cared if anyone was.

Y/n was the first to pull away, smiling shyly up at Lucien.

"You want to get some cake before we go home?" Y/n questioned, beginning towards the general direction of her home.

"I feel like we should make it ourselves." Lucien wiggled his eyebrows, throwing his arm around her shoulders as they began the trek to her home.

She shook her head slightly, becoming redder by the moment as she grinned softly at her feet.

•○🌑○•

It was solstice tonight.

It had been one not-long-enough year since he'd met Y/n.

Lucien's chest felt lighter than it had been in ages.

They had already found a new emissary who they trusted, and so today was Lucien's last day as a member of the Inner Circle.

He was here today to deliver some reports to Rhys.

The sound of utensils and laughter greeted him as soon as he entered the River house, the inner circle being as loud as ever. But as soon as he stepped foot in the dining room, everything went silent, all eyes turning to him.

He smiled at Feyre, nodding to Rhys and pointing to the papers in his hands. He placed the stack on a table nearby, before nodding again to the rulers of Night and turning away.

"Wait! Where are you going? Come have dinner with us." Lucien looked at Feyre, shaking his head.

He didn't want to stay. Not when all that was going through his head was how he would go up to Y/n's door and knock, and how she would open the door suspiciously, those eyes narrowed. But then she would realise that it was him, and she would fling the door open with squeal, tackling him into a hug, laughing. How when she pulled back, she'd realise she was in her pajamas and would self consciously brush herself down, touching her hair. How–

"Lucien?" Lucien winced, coming back to the present.

"I can't stay. I have to go meet a friend."

"Oh. Did you plan a meeting beforehand?"

"Oh no. She doesn't know I'm here. I'm going to go surprise her."

"She?" A gentle and soft voice intoned. Lucien stiffened. The voice he had wanted to hear acknowledge him ever since the bond snapped for him.

He turned to look at Elain, his brows rising as he took her in. She was standing from her seat next to the shadowsinger, her knuckles white from clenching her fork so tightly. Her brows were furrowed in anger, and she looked murderous.

"Yes..." He didn't really know how to answer the question, so he simply watched her.

Rage entered her eyes. "Is this the female you went with that night when we were out?"

Lucien blinked, wondering what was making Elain so angry. "Yes. Exactly that one."

Elain huffed out a bitter laugh. "So is she trying to steal my mate now? She did look like someone who steals males."

For a moment, no one moved. There was so much silence it was deafening.

Almost everyone was staring between Elain and Lucien, their eyes wide. Except from Amren, of course. Nothing could faze the little devil. And Nyx, who waved around a piece of carrot like a sword.

Lucien smiled slowly. "Glad to know your thoughts on my life, mate. I will let her know of your amazing thoughts about her."

Lucien turned away, walking towards the foyer, but just before he turned out of sight, he glanced back, his eyes meeting Elain's.

"She and I were only ever friends, but now that you've said it, I realise that we never were meant to be friends." Lucien smiled slightly, bowing his head. "Thank you."

And with that, he left, ready to meet with his friend.

•○🌑○•

Y/n's pov.

Her solstice had been normal. Nothing great to do. Her father had gone out drinking with his friends, her friends having been busy with their own families. Even the old hag was busy tending to and celebrating with her brother.

She was sure Lucien would also be busy with something, since he hadn't written to her to let her know of his arrival if he was coming.

That left Y/n alone.

But then suddenly, a knock had sounded on the door, and Y/n's heart had fluttered before even knowing who stood on the other side of the door.

After Lucien told her what was going on with Vassa and Jurian, he began telling her of the events that went down in the High lord's home as she got ready to take a stroll around Velaris with Lucien.

Her blood boiled when she heard of the things Elain said to Lucien, but a smile of reassurance from him was all it took for her to calm down.

They were in the main square of Velaris right now, watching the people dance around the huge fire in the centre.

It had become a tradition in the recent years for the people of the city to come together and dance the night away, laughing and drinking and mingling. It was a wholesome event, where younger people would gather around the old towards the end of the night and simply listen to their tales.

This was the first time Y/n was attending with someone else, as usually she would come here alone and sit next to the elderly, watching as younger couple her age danced around and bonded.

The glow from the fire danced in Lucien's eyes, making it look like there was fire inside those mismatched eyes. There was a relaxed grin on his face, one like she'd never seen before. He seemed so careless now, so free, it made Y/n smile too.

"You're staring." He pointed out, his voice barely audible over the cheers and the faeries singing along.

Y/n blushed, but in a sudden burst of boldness, she spoke, looking away. "It would be a crime not to."

From the periphery of her eyes, she found him gaping at her and had to suppress a triumphant smile.

"You know, I feel like the Mother took extra time making you."

He let out a surprised laugh, the sound lighting fires across Y/n's body.

"All that extra time to make me ruined by a fucking scar."

His tone was light, though Y/n could sense a hint of insecurity and sadness under the joy.

She turned to him, watching as the smile slowly vanished from his face at the look in her eyes.

"You are beautiful, Lucien, scars and all. And if I had the chance, I would show you how beautiful they are to me." She let her hand reach up toward his face, ignoring the heat entering his eyes or the way his pupils dilated as she traced the scar that ended at his jaw.

"Beautiful. So fucking beautiful."

HIs eyes fell shut as the music came to an end, and the people dancing around the fire dispersed for a moment.

"Y/n..." He whispered, his hand reaching up to hold hers against his face.

The music started up again, a soft and slower sound than before, more sensual.

This one was for people who were a couple or in a relationship, just a slow waltz to cool down before everyone again joined in a faster, more traditional dance.

"Dance with me."

The words were a shock to her system, and she nodded without even thinking.

It wasn't until the two of them had begun dancing, her arms wrapped around his broad and strong shoulders, their faces barely inches away, that she remembered that this was a waltz for couples, and she and Lucien were definitely not a couple.

She glanced up at him, his eyes already fixed on her. She opened her mouth to tell him, trying to ignore the warmth against her skin from the fire behind her, his body pressed so close to hers in the front.

"Lucien, this dance is for-"

"I know." He mumbled, his eyes smoldering. "I know." He repeated, making sure she understood.

Suddenly, his arms around her waist became more apparent, the way they rested over her lower back. The way the stray hairs that had escaped his low bun tickled her neck, the way his breath washed over her skin when he exhaled.

Y/n's mind was about to either stop working, or remind her of Lucien's touch every two minutes, and honestly, she didn't know which one she prefered.

He never broke eye contact once during the whole dance.

Soon, but not soon enough, the slow music came to an end. And the people that sat along the outer edge cheered, clapping and demanding the couples kiss. And as all the couples shared that intimate moment, Y/n's heart rate picked up, panic clawing up her throat, feeling so many eyes on her and him, wondering what Lucien would do.

She didn't have to wonder long, though.

Lucien began leaning in, making Y/n's eyes flutter closed. She swallowed, licking her lips.

Then she felt his hot breath closer to her face, his lashes brushing gently against her skin as she felt those plump, beautiful lips on the corner of hers.

She felt him smile against her skin. All the while, it was hard to breathe.

But then he pulled away, a flush on his cheeks. If it was because of the heat of the enormous fire behind her, or because he was genuinely flustered, she couldn't tell.

As the faster music started, Lucien grinned wickedly at her.

"Let's dance, my lady."

•○🌑○•

Y/n's feet were sore, but it was all so worth it.

At some point during the night, she had discarded her shoes next to a kind old male who she had known since she was a child.

All the dances after Y/n and Lucien's initial waltz had been fast paced, where everyone changed partners every few moments. It was one of the best things that had happened that night, getting to know new people and dancing and singing along to the top of their lungs.

It was all so beautiful.

She had always thought so, watching from the sidelines. But now, being one of the people she would have watched, it was a whole different experience.

The dancing was supposed to go on for atleast one more hour before the elders gathered and began telling stories. That would go on for the rest of the night.

And so, Y/n decided to get some rest, maybe somewhere on he benches near the Sidra where it would be quiet before returning to listen to the elder's tales.

Listening to loud music for hours was one way to invite a headache.

Y/n began making her way up to Lucien, who stood on the opposite side of the huge fire, but then she paused, simply admiring him.

He had discarded his embroidered overcoat next to where Y/n had placed her shoes, now only in a simple, thin white shirt that clung to his sweaty frame, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

He laughed as he held the hands of a little girl, giving her instructions on how to move. The little girl's tongue poked out of her lips as she concentrated, and Lucien was just as concentrated as her.

Once the current music came to an end, the girl grinned up at Lucien, and he ruffled her hair in return before she ran away, maybe to her friends.

Y/n finally walked up to Lucien, smiling tiredly at him.

"Hello, you."

He smiled back. "Good evening, my lady."

Y/n rolled her eyes at the title. "Shut up."

"Can I not even greet you now?"

"Yeah yeah whatever. I'm going to go sit at a bench, rest a little then return. You coming?"

He nodded, walking over to where his coat lay on the ground. He picked it up along with her shoes then returned.

When she tried to take her shoes from him, he waved her away.

The two of them walked in silence, heading towards the quiet river. Once there, they walked onto the bank and settled down where the place was relatively drier than all other places. Y/n dipped her feet in the cold water, releasing a relieved sigh at the soothing sensation.

Lucien pulled out two packets from the pocket of his coat, tearing open the wrapper and handing one to Y/n. She looked at him, confused.

He simply opened his pack, and then bit into the cake.

"Why do you have these with you?" She questioned, though she began nibbling on the little treat.

He shrugged. "Jurian found these at a bakery in mortal lands a few days ago. I thought you might like it."

She smiled, staring into the water as she slowly chewed.

"The inner circle were in the crowd tonight."

Y/n whipped her head to look at Lucien, but he didn't even seem bothered or interested in talking about the inner circle. He said it so casually, like he was telling her it was night and not day.

After a moment, Y/n spoke. "Was Elain there?"

He nodded, taking a bite of the cake. He took his time chewing before he gave her a response.

"I saw them after the fourth or fifth song. Apparently, they'd been watching since the first song."

Y/n gaped at him.

He glanced at her. "What?"

"Why are you so nonchalant about this?! Your mate saw you dancing with me on a song meant for people involved romantically!"

He blinked, then raised a brow. "And?"

"That might ruin any chances you had with her!"

He shrugged again. "There was never any chance anyway."

"Lucien! You-"

"Look Y/n. It's been long since the bond made itself known. It's been long enough that if she wanted to accept the bond, she would have. And long enough that if she didn't want the bond, she would have rejected it."

"Yes I know but you love her-"

"Let me speak, love. Let me get this off my chest. I never loved her. She didn't give me the chance to. The pull I felt towards her was simply the bond clouding my judgement. The desperation with which I seeked to gain her attention was me simply yearning for happiness. If I had not been so lonely and upset all the time, maybe I wouldn't even have acknowledged the bond if she ignored it too.

"And maybe I am a bastard for that, but I don't know what had gotten over me for the past year or so. I had lost almost all of myself, until you came along.

"You-" Lucien looked at Y/n, his eyes bright "-you made me realise that I did not need another person to make me happy, and that I didn't have to stop being myself for someone to love me. And i will be eternally grateful to you for it."

Y/n shook her head, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall. "Lucien, you deserve to find love. You deserve to have a happy life."

"And I know that now. All because of you."

"But I did nothing." She sniffed, her cake forgotten in her hand.

"You didn't have to. Just simply being my friend and showing me kindness made a significant difference in how I saw myself."

"But what about Elain? What about the bond?"

He smiled. "She can be with anyone she wants now. She wanted to have control over some aspects of her life after having been forced to turn, and honestly, I don't blame her. I would have wanted to do the same if my life had been anything like her."

"And what about you?"

Y/n felt like she knew the answer, but she still wanted to know.

"I do not need a bond to be with someone I love, you know."

"And who is it that you love?"

His smile turned knowing. "You know the answer, don't you?"

"Tell me still. After all, you do love hearing yourself speak."

This was a serious moment, but Y/n felt like if she didn't try to lighten the air by joking, this would become real. And she didn't know if she could handle that.

"I love you, Y/n."

She closed her eyes, telling herself this was not real, that she would wake up soon, and realise this had been a dream. Just like all the times before she had had the dream of being with Lucien and then waking up, all alone in her bed and staring at the ceiling.

But when silence settled around her, him staring at her expectantly, she realised this was no dream.

That someone like Lucien really was in love with someone like her.

She closed her eyes, a tear slipping out of the corner of her eyes. "You don't mean that."

She felt his thumb brushing away the tear a moment before she felt his lips on her cheek. "I do. I am in love with you, my lady. I would do anything to show you how much I love you. To prove to you that I really do."

Her eyes fluttered open, staring into his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. "Why?"

He chuckled. "What do you mean why? There is not need of a reason for me to love you. I simply love you because you exist."

After a moment, she whispered what she had been dying to scream. "I love you, Lucien. I love you so much."

His smile widened, and he began closing the distance between them. "Then let me be yours."

Just before their lips met, she mumbled. "Be mine."

And her body ignited.

•○●⛦●○•

Her joints were creaking, but the old hag watched, and waited.

She had this primal need to have the little girl she'd watched grow up in front of her eyes find happiness, and she would threaten even the mother if the need arose to make Y/n happy.

But she didn't have to do that, because as she watched, the fire head male leaned in and pressed a kiss to Y/n's lips, and the old hag smiled, giddy with happiness and excitement.

And then she turned away, meaning to hobble back to the solstice celebration in the main square and leave the two younglings to enjoy the night together.

But then she paused, staring at the young female that stared at Y/n and the fire boy she'd fallen in love with.

Slowly, the old hag's brain remembered that this female with soft features and silky hair was the high lady's sister. And in turn, Lucien's mate.

Damn the mother. The old hag cursed, shaking her head.

"Leave them be." The hag ordered the girl in front of her, who turned to her with wide eyes. "They both deserve happiness. Don't you dare think about getting in the way."

The girl in the lilac dress nodded, her eyes becoming watery, but the hag had already begun walking away.

And after a final glance at the giggling couple on the riverbank, the girl turned away, jealousy and relief warring in her chest.

•○●⛦●○•

When Lucien pulled away, his hand still resting on her cheek, she couldn't stop a giggle from escaping. His lips quirked, a little swollen.

"Something funny?"

She shook her head, her cheeks warm as she turned back to the water. "Should we do a toast, my lord?"

He laughed at that, shifting closer to her as he put an arm around her shoulders. "And what will we toast with? We don't have wine or anything."

"We have these cakes." She pointed out.

He lifted his cake into the air. "Alright then. To love!"

Y/n wrinkled her nose. "And cakes!" She said as she raised her hand, and Lucien laughed.

He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

Carefree and happy.

And Y/n simply watched, admiring.

Loving.

•○🌑○•

Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392

[yurinaa-world]

platonic dr ratio with child reader having a personality of madoka magica? the reader is a magical girl and dr ratio idk taking care of their clumsy behavior? i dont see anyone writing for platonic dr ratio and i really need a bit of comfort😭

write whenever you want or idk

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Dr. Ratio platonic! x Gender-neutral Reader

𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with a student reader that has the personality of Madoka Magica

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Fluff and spelling mistakes,

𝒱𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒶𝓈 𝑅𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜

He doesn’t like your clumsy behaviour at all. Please watch you run around during battle; it might be worse than looking at an idiot's face. You're unpaired and should think of a plan before you jump.

A lot of the time, he’ll have to fight alongside you since you’re illiterate and can’t figure out where the enemy's weak points are.

But don't think it’s the battlefield is the only place he’s going to teach you. Count the classroom also because now you’re officially his student, and he’ll ensure you’ll become the best. He’ll make you shine like the star you meant to be! But this means you're going to have to do math…You'd rather fight than do the math!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

Your teacher, Dr. Ratio, immediately stopped you from leaving his class. You already know the problem since he’s 100% going to yell and lecture you for hours because of your poor grades. “Yes si..-" You swiftly turned back but went a little fast and fell right backwards. You were finding yourself on the floor while in a bit of pain.

“Enough with this Tomfoolery.” He sighs, watching you get from the ground. “Sorry, dr. ratio " “It’s Mr. Ratio to you.” “Sorry, Mr. What seems to be the problem?” You scratch the back of your neck, a little nervous. "The math test you did yesterday. Why, no earth, did you get 8 out of 20." 

You might have rushed it a little, so you get out there since you were the only one still doing the test. You didn't know it would be this bad! Now you'll have to do extra work. "really? but I tried my best!" Your words weren't convincing at all to him. "What? Are you trying your best to fail? It's as if you weren't even reading the paper and just doodling on it," he disappointed expression as he turned your test in his hands so you could look at it.

It's just a bunch of cats in black ink and nonsense answers to the questions. "From tomorrow, you're getting extra work," Dr. Ratio goes over to write in his book. You sigh, knowing this is going to happen. 

"come on, it was just a couple of mistakes!" 

"12 incorrect answers."

"I'll do better next! Please!" you clasped your hands together. Hoping he shows you a little mercy, but no, he will never show you any mercy. If you can learn it when he's being nice, he'll beat you instead.

 "you're right; I ensure you’ll get a perfect score.”

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[nightcolorz]

Do you think Armand masks/is able to mask?

Amazing question!!!! I’ve made a post about this b4 a while ago (that I can’t find 💔) but Yes!!!! I think Armand is almost always masking. Lemme explain lol

Some autistic people mask by putting on a performance of conventional emotional reactions (such as making an effort to smile when they r happy bcus naturally they don’t make any expression when they r happy). without a mask these ppl may appear cold/mean/expressionless, etc regardless of how they r feeling, bcus expressing what is inside doesn’t come naturally. so in this case the mask is the effort of putting on the appearance of emotions so that their mood won’t be misinterpreted or demonized

Some autistic people r the complete opposite, and they mask by training their faces to be neutral/expressionless because when they r unmasked the way they express their emotions is so over the top and extreme that it is inappropriate + off putting (such as uncanny looking expressions that may appear childish or cartoonish, big emotional breakdowns, excessive crying, or even disproportionate shows of happiness that could be considered socially inappropriate). so to blend in these ppl try to stifle that by putting on a cold exterior, and mask by restricting how extreme their emotional reactions r to appear as smth more socially acceptable.

Armand is often interpreted as the first example, bcus he is often very expressionless, stilted, and cold, which when considering his autism makes ppl assume that he has the type of autism where outward expression of emotions dont come naturally to him, so he isn’t often expressive bcus of this. But!!! I think Armand more accurately aligns with the second example. Armand, when he isn’t masking, (as described in the books), expresses his emotions in extreme, over the top ways that are considered actually disturbing by other characters. In tvl Lestat says his rare genuine facial expressions look “horrific” and comedically absurd because of how much they warp his face, like a cartoon character. When Armand is upset and the mask breaks he has huge emotional meltdowns where he breaks things and harms himself + others and screams and cries, etc. So! By making himself appear cold, unfeeling, inexpressive, etc, Armand is masking!!! He trains his face and his behavior so that he keeps his naturally over expressive reactions at bay. Naturally, when unmasked, he expresses his emotions in huge ways that alienate him and are frightening/off putting to other people. In the books armands mask rarely slips, and when it does it’s shocking. Armand can go from inexpressive and blank faced to an exposed nerve of huge feeling in a second.

If Armand was always unmasking I believe he would act like a completely different character. But Armand is 99% of the time, always masking. Because of his trauma, and of course bcus he was never diagnosed or treated as if his autism was normal, he is conditioned to always mask out of self preservation. I don’t think Armand has ever tried to unmask, bcus I think he doesn’t see unmasking as a show of his real self. He probably sees unmasking as letting go of his self control and giving into childishness/madness. Armand has to be really pushed to his limits to let his mask slip, bcus he often considers his mask more of a part of himself than his genuine emotions. Armand doesn’t know who is he, and he tries to fill in this black hole where his sense of self would be by always preforming what he believes is needed/wanted from him. When he lets go of the performance, he can’t comprehend what’s there. And I think that rlly frightens him

thank u sm for the ask I love this question so much!!!!!! <3333 I wish I could find my original Armand masking post cuz it’s def better worded 😭 but unfortunately tumblrs search engine is incredibly broken

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[cynthiesjmxazrielslover]

Bittersweet love

An original AUmodernAzriel x Reader

these songs remind me of them <3333

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mention of trauma Summary: Growing up with your abusive father and your mother who never spoke up against him, you had truly given up hope of any chance of a real relationship, of real love, the ones of the kind that you read about in your books, till you're proven wrong.

A/N: this is my first fic ever+english isnt my first language, and I wrote this in a daze, the idea came to me at like 3 AM,so....enjoy muah<3 Thump.....thump. DAMN IT CAROLINE GET OUT HERE! Another night another fight, that too on their anniversary, a classic. I scoff thinking about all the picture-perfect smiles and the absolutely lovely speech my dad had read out for my mom tonight, a show, it was all a show, no one knew what went inside our house every week, how my dad hit my mom, screamed at her and then bought ridiculously expensive gifts for her as if that would fix everything. I was so so tired of their useless fights, every time it all ended the same way, with my mom never leaving. I heard the rain outside before I saw it. One thing about me was that I always loved the rain, growing up, and till now it just felt right to cry under its cover, to cry with it, to admire how beautiful it felt to be enveloped in her comfort and just...let everything go. I sneaked out my window and walked out of our backyard. There was an abandoned house right behind mine, I spread rumors just so everyone thought, it was either haunted or inhabited, in truth it was my den. Snacks, clothes, comfy blankets, duvets, you name it. It had all I needed to feel better. When I entered my lair I noticed that most of my snacks were empty and the empty packets pristine clean. Oh no, someone had discovered the truth, I turned around only to find a pair of hazel eyes staring back at me, the darkness enveloped him, I couldn't see him, but guessed well enough he was taller than me. I cursed at myself for being stupid enough to enter an abandoned place at night in the middle of a heavy down pour. No, no, no, no. I stepped back I couldn't die like this, not in this shit hole. "Um, hello there. Are you okay? you just seem a little pale" I gaped at him. He had the most alluring voice id ever heard on a man and damn did it mess with my senses. "I won't hurt you, I promise. Look I'm not armed plus I dont even have enough energy to argue right now." He stepped a bit closer enough that I could make out his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. His hazel eyes were a sweet honey brown shade, tanned skin, muscles, tall as frick, and hot too. Holy crap this guy looked straight out of a book. "Hello?". Realizing I'd been gaping at it the whole time it took me second to remember the situation I'd found myself in before I said "Hi, Im Lana" I lied, my name wasnt lana but i wasnt gonna tell some random guy who ate my snacks AND all my blueberry sour candy my name, Im not that dumb. He steps out of the shadows so i could get a proper look at him, and so he could look at me i realize. "Hello Lana, Im Azriel". I looked at him, really looked at him noticed 3 things, 1. He didnt look much older than me, meaning either he was in school or in college, 2. He was wearing my oversized hoodie which looked a little too small on him, and 3. He looked in a bad shape. He had bruises on his face marring his body, burned hands, swollen eye and looked cold, very cold and malnourished. He looked almost......homeless.

I snuck a glance outside.

I silently swore, if this man- Azriel, stayed here any longer he would DIE, either of fever or due to infection. I might already have brought a one way ticket to the deepest darkest pits of hell but doesnt mean he did. Without a thought i spit out "Come to my house". "Im sorry what?" he chuckled out smirking at me as a flush crept over me. "I-I meant that you cant stay here, there's heavy rain and its cold here. pfft that's totally what i meant" i stammer out. Reminder to curl up and die in a corner later on. He furrows his brow at my statement, a hint of amusement on his face. "Haven't you heard of stranger danger Lana?" He pipes out, his voice low and gravelly. "I doubt an 18 year old guy who wears Minnie Mouse hoodies with dora the explorer socks and a pink bow pajamas would try to kidnap me" Okay now this dude was really crossing it for me. Reminder number 2- Drown these clothes in holy water before wearing them again. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. "I still look better in these than you could ever. But you're smart and these clothes fit me like a fucking tank top and shorts, so yes, Lana, I'll come to your house. Only because Im freezing out here" He added FRICK. FRICK THIS WAS A BAD,BAD IDEA

Azriels POV I stepped out of the shower, steam rising from the hot water. I smelled like lavender soap and vanilla- The scent of real men. I put on the fresh pair of clothes Lana gave me, A little smaller than what i wore but better than those hoodies of hers anyway. I saw her reading a book when i stepped out, no gods not another book-obsessed psycho. She motioned for me to sit down and applied some bandages, honey, and anti-septic cream and gave me some medecine, pain killers i guessed. She seemed to know what she was doing, better than going to a doctor if it meant it was free and she wasn't going- "Who gave you get these" My chain of thoughts are interrupted by her words. "I got myself banged up by a....raccoon?" A raccoon? A RACCOON? Thats the best I could come up with? Telling a girl that i got banged up by a raccoon? She laughs at my answer. It's not a soft melodic sound like i expected but a burst of laughter. She snorts and smirks at me. "Damn, a raccoon huh? Wait,does that mean your're pregnant now?Plus,what? did it tackle you to the ground with its little toe beans? What were you even fighting over, who gets the last thrown out doughnuts from the dumpster, oh, or, did she kick you out of the house instead? You're lovely raccoon wife." She laughs out, barely able to form the sentence without controlling her laughter. I roll my eyes but I cant help smile, I knew very little about this girl but i did know 4 things, 1. She was a terrible liar, introducing herself under a fake name when her name was written under every single one of her drawings, 'y/n' I liked that name, it sounded different yet familiar on my tongue. 2.She might have just saved my life 3. She had a very good taste in candy and 4. we are about to become very, very, very good friends, something I hadn't had in a while. Tell me in the comments if you want to be tagged in the next parts, plus im open to supportive constructive criticism so let me know how i can improve =) taglist: @anarchiii @starlightazriel @velarisdusk @siriuslystyle1989 @scorpioriesling

[chxnsaphrodite]

Message in a Bottle (minho x reader)

minho x reader fake dating college au!

a/n: i'm a lil bit too proud of this piece so if you hate it keep it to yourself, this is also the first full-length fic i've written so. inspired by the love hypothesis! came up with the idea originally a year ago after finishing the book.

words: 11.2k

warnings: smut with plot, reader is a virgin, reader uses she/her pronouns, typos, slight corruption kink, protection IS USED FOR ONCE. minho calls the reader a whore like once...maybe twice, lmk if i missed any.

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to say lee minho was boyfriend material would be a mere understatement. to be honest, you saw him as nothing better than just some guy who plays with girls around campus, yet here you were, sealing the deal with him. “it would be for like two months, tops,” minho said. you bit the inside of your cheek.

“and what are you getting out of it? what would you gain?” you asked him.

“lia getting off of my back,” he replied snarkily. lia and minho were exes you could say, but lia was the most consistent girl minho has ever been with. they were known to show up to campus parties and then mysteriously disappear, probably jerking each other off in the host’s room. you were pretty sure minho had every possible std there was out there considering his reputation. but yet here he was, asking you to fake date him for two months. “listen if you’re uncomfortable we don’t have to, but i’m just saying you’d have a reason for the board to believe that you’re gonna still attend miroh college for the rest of the school year and you could get the funds-”

“okay okay i’ll do it just, lets make up rules,” you said, cutting him off. minho smirked.

“lay it on me,” he replied.

“first of all, no kissing, like ever,” you said.

“how are people gonna think we are dating if you wont kiss me?” minho asked.

“well there’s other ways  to show affection-”

“you really think someone would believe i wouldnt kiss my girlfriend in public?” minho pointed out. 

“okay um, but i- i dont know-”

“have you ever kissed someone y/n?” minho questioned you. you felt your face burnt up slightly.

“i uh well this boy in my 6th grade-”

“no i mean really kissed,” minho added.

“it was pretty real to me,” you commented. minho chuckled.

“okay, so no kissing, but pda?” he asked. you nodded.

“yeah like, hand-holding and stuff,” you stated.

“got it, could i add my own rule?” minho asked.

“sure,” you said.

“dont fall for me, i mean the whole point of this is so i can get a girl off my back, not get another one on,” he said. you nodded confidently.

“will do, won’t catch me slipping,”you replied. minho stuck his hand out to you.

“so its a deal then?”

“deal.”

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you desperately needed this grant from your school, and rumors of you and minho dating would be the perfect way to convince them. this was the first time your school had ever declined your request when it came to your films. your short films had gained multiple awards and praise for miroh college, but it’s because of these awards that other colleges had offered to give you a full-ride scholarship to their schools. to be honest, you had played with the idea of transferring to a film-based college, but you were waiting for one in particular. stray film college had been your dream school since you were 15, and they finally reached out to you. they promised a full-ride scholarship if you could produce one more film, a film that needed to be a personal film. you had no idea what to do for it, but you knew you would need funds for the mic set and to possibly pay actors. you don’t know how or why, but somehow the school caught wind of this, and now suddenly they refused to help you with production altogether. you hate to admit it, but minho’s plan could very likely be the key to your dream school.

you were typing yet another email to your department’s head when someone tapped on the top of your laptop. you looked up and met eyes with your friend, hyunjin. hyunjin ran his fingers through his currently, long blonde hair. “blonde again jinnie?” you asked. 

“i needed a change, plus i haven’t tried blonde with my long hair yet so i figured now was the time,” he replied. you chuckled as he took a sit across from you. the two of you met up in the school cafeteria often, ever since you guys met as freshmen. hyunjin was actually the only actor that would always act in your films for free. that’s how the two of you became friends in the first place. “what are you working on now, y/n?” hyunjin asked.

“typing another email, i need to get the funds,” you replied.

“you think they’ll give it to you?” he asked again. you sighed.

“no, but they might soon,” you replied.

“whats the plan? do i need to beat up mr. park?” he questioned. he said the last part with a smirk.

“no hyunjin, this plan does not require anyone being beat up,” you said, you looked around, “it’s a secret for now, i’m sure you’ll hear within the next few days or so.”. hyunjin turned his head to the right.

“what’re you up to?” he asked.

“so many questions! just dont worry about it. you just have to know i have it figured out,” you told him. that was when the messages started.

[minho: hey we need to go to this party tonight

[minho: lia is bringing her entire group there

[you: um ive never been to a party before…

[minho: ur shitting me right?

[you: nope.

[minho: ill pick you up, just be ready in like an hour or two.

[you: hour?

[minho: 2 max, you need to meet some of my friends before hand

[you: i know your friends.

[minho: you know the rumors about my friends, but you dont know my friends

[minho: plus how exactly do you plan on getting home if i end up black out drunk?

[you: 2 and half hours.

[minho: deal.

you closed your laptop. “looks like part of my plan is taking place, ive got to go get ready,” you said, standing up.

“call me later?” hyunjin asked. you shrugged.

“ill be out pretty late,” you commented.

“y/n…you’re not prostituting are you?!” hyunjin asked.

“no! just dont worry ill explain later.”

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you stood in front of the mirror looking at your outfit. you had picked a slightly skimpy outfit, but felt it was appropriate for the occasion, it was a baby pink pleated skirt with a black t shirt. that was when you heard a knock at your dorm’s door. you sighed, knowing it was probably minho already picking you up. you opened the door, and was greeted by a well dressed minho. “you ready?” he asked. you nodded.

the car ride to wherever minho was taking you was uncomfortably silent. to be honest, up to this point you and minho had rarely ever spoken, let alone crossed paths. “so uh…who’s hosting the party?” you asked.

“chris bang,” minho answered flatly.

“i thought you guys hated each other?” you questioned.

“listen, he comes to my friends’ parties all the time, its more of a rivalry if anything,” he stated. you looked out of the window. chris bang was another infamous man around campus. he was the head of the double knot frat, and had a similar reputation to minho. chris’ rep was totally different, where minho was known to be a complete heart breaker, chris was more of the never the same girl twice kind of guy. he never really talked to girls long enough for them to think he liked them, but long enough to be intimate. unbeknownst to you, minho really did hate him. he just didnt make a big deal about it, besides there were more important things to be focusing on, such as making lia go away. minho pulled into an apartment complex. “attention passenger, we have reached destination jisung and changbin’s apartment,” minho announced. minho walked over to your side and opened the door for you. “m’lady” he said, motioning his other arm towards the apartment entrance. you laughed a bit before standing up.

“thank you, sir,” you told him. you closed the car door behind you, after which minho put an arm around your shoulder. you jumped at first being shocked by his action.

“remember, im just your lovely new boyfriend,” he whispered into your ear. you nodded. minho walked you to the door. minho knocked on the door, and surprisingly neither jisung or changbin answered. “seungmin! you’re coming along?” minho asked the man who opened the door.

“why not, haven’t gone out with you guys in a while,” seungmin answered. seungmin met eyes with you and raised his eyebrows. “who’s the chick?” he asked. 

“shes-”

“the chick is me. i’m y/n, minho’s girlfriend,” you introduced. seungmin looked over at minho in slight disbelief.

“seungmin the airconditioning is on, close the door!” changbin called. changbin walked over towards the door to see what seungmin was doing, and once again you were looked at with wide eyes. “who-”

“this is y/n, my girlfriend, i was going to tell you guys once i got inside but seungmin felt the need to question us before hand,” minho explained.

“y/n? as in film major y/n?” changbin asked you. you smiled at the recognition for films, and nodded.

“the one and only,” you replied. changbin stuck his hand out.

“your films are awesome, it amazes me that someone that’s my age could produce something like that,” he told you. you shook his hand.

“wow , uh thank you, i didnt take you to be the film type?” you stated. changbin nodded. 

“come in come in!” changbin said excitedly. 

“is it just me or does changbin look more excited to talk to your girlfriend than us,” seungmin mumbled to minho as the two of you walked in. minho shrugged.

“as long as the lady is happy,” he replied. seungmin looked at minho again. 

“since when did you care this much about your girlfriends?” seungmin asked.

“since her,” minho replied, pointing to you and changbin happily chatting. jisung bursted into the room form his bedroom. 

“alright let’s get the show on the road, wooyoung is saying chris has some free alcohol and i do not want to miss it,” jisung announce, car keys in hand. jisung looked over at you, “hello there, and who might you be?”. minho protectively put his arm around your shoulders.

“y/n, is my plus one tonight,” minho grinned. you nodded.

“also minho’s latest girlfriend,” seungmin commented. jisung looked at you and minho and shrugged.

“okay, whatever, we need to leave, like now,” he told everyone in the room.

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the moment the 5 of you arrived at the party it was complete chaos. there were girls completely topless dancing on tables, people trying to down as many shots as possible, and pda in every corner. minho grabbed your hand. “follow my lead,” he whispered to you. for some reason, minho holding your hand made your heart skip a tad. you nodded. minho led you to the porch in the back, where there were many familar faces, but particularly lia and her posse. lia had 4 other friends, yeji, ryujin, chaeryeong, and a freshman yuna. as far as you knew, they were all daddy’s money and felt some sort of entitlement at miroh college. other faces you recognized on this porch was of course, chris bang and his close friends, felix and another freshman jeongin. “lee, nice of you to show,” chris commented. minho looked back up.

“wouldn’t miss it, bang,” he replied. it wasnt until you noticed lia practically glaring at you that you remembered you were still holding minho’s hand.

“y/n? right?” chris asked you. you nodded. chris looked back between you and minho. “you two an item or something?” chris asked minho

“my girlfriend actually,” minho answered. 

“you ever been to a party before director?” chris interrogated. you hesitated before nodding.

“no she hasn’t,” lia said.

“yes i have, maybe you just haven’t seen me before,” you shot back.

“really? well then maybe you wouldn’t mind playing a few drinking games, you know, with the girls,” lia added. you nodded, more confidently this time.

“totally,” you replied. lia looked back at her girls, and at the same time minho whispered to you,

“y/n are you sure about this? i could easily think of a way out of this-”

“let’s go then,” you stated confidently to lia. lia smirked. 

“sounds fun, you boys won’t mind if we disappear for an hour or two,” she asked. minho glared at lia, knowing she was up to something. “oh c’mon minho, let the girl have some girl time, besides who knows, maybe by the time we’re back you’ll have found someone else to play with,” lia replied snarkely. minho clenched his teeth, but you put your hand on his shoulder as a way to tell him it was alright. yeji got up form her chair.

“let’s go,” she told her friend. you followed the 5 girls back into the frat house, where you ended up in some unknown person’s room. there were many other girls you recognized from around the campus in the room. yeji picked up a random bottle on the floor and read the name. “here, “y/n, you’ve surely had this before,” yeji picked up a bottle that had the name ‘jagermeister’ printed on it, and handed it to you. truth be told, you knew next to nothing about alcohol, let alone had you drunk more than the champagne you drank at new years.

“of course,” you lied. yeji looked back up at lia. 

“why don’t you take a drink or two?” lia said, handing you the bottle. you opened the bottle, and got a whiff of a black licorice that made you want to throw up an entire lung. “go on,” lia told you. you gulped before you started chugging it. the other girls looked at you in shock.

“y/n are you okay?” chaeryeong asked you. you squeezed your eyes and nose before nodding.

“yeah, totally, like i said, i’ve drank before..” you trailed off, “maybe not as intense as that.”. lia let out a scoff. you stood up. “either way, im gonna find minho,” you said. you walked away from the room, and as you closed the door you sighed. 

“girls giving you a hard time?” a familiar voice called. you turned to see jisung. 

“uh yeah sure,” you answered. 

“y’know its only because lia believes you and minho’s ruse,” he replied. 

“yeah i- wait what?” you asked surprisingly.

“i can read right through you two, minho may be able to fool the others but he still can’t fool me,” jisung explained. you looked at him, and started to open your mouth when jisung said, “don’t worry i wont tell anyone, i’m not sure why you two decided to do this, but i won’t tell,”.

“thank you, jisung,” you said. jisung moved to the side.

“welp, i’ve gotta go do what i was doing before i met up with you,” jisung told you.

“yeah, of course,” you replied. jisung walked passed you, and you watched as he left. you walked down the stairs to the first floor of the frat house. as you stood and watched chaos, you could suddenly feel the rush of the drink from earlier sinking in. it was then you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

“y/n are you okay?” minho asked. you stared at him for a second before feeling a sudden rush to your gut. you shook your head before you threw up all over minho and yourself. 

it was like the world stopped in that moment and your first instinct was to run away.

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you ran down the street, with no real destination in mind other than far away from the doubleknot frat. suddenly your fuzzy mind was interrupted by a voice.

“y/n?”

“y/n??”

“y/n!!”

and suddenly you were blacked out.

you groaned as you awoke in an unfamiliar bed room, but a quick sniff of the bed sheets you recognized it was hyunjin’s. you sat up and felt your head pounding. “goodmorning, sleeping beauty,” hyunjin said, standing in the door way. 

“what happened?” you asked.

“i should be asking you the same thing,” hyunjin replied. you thought for a moment on the events of last night.

“i know i was at chris bang’s party,” you said, “oh my god minho!”.you reached for your phone, which hyunjin had (thankfully) taken the liberty to plug in for you. just a glance at the messages you suddenly remembered a key moment from last night.

[minho: hey where are you?

[minho: y/n this isnt funny, answer your phone

[minho: im sorry.

“whats got you so worked up, and whats up with you and minho?” hyunjin asked.

“have rumors already spread?” you said. hyunjin let out a sigh.

“unfortunately a bit more than just some rumors spread,” he told you, showing you a video someone had taken of you throwing up on minho. you closed your eyes and lifted your head back.

“of course,” you let out. hyunjin wrapped and arm around your shouldand rubbed your arm.

“hey on the brightside i brought you some hang over food!” hyunjin announced. hyunjin got out of the bed and walked to the kitchen. you sent a quick message to minho.

[y/n: im so sorry a million times over, could we meet up today?

[minho: yeah, campus research center?

[y/n: sounds good.

hyunjin walked in with a breakfast bagel sandwich and a smoothie concoction. “what;s the drink?” you asked.

“hangover juice,” he answered. you took the drink from his hands and took a big gulp of it. you squeezed your eyes and nose.

“that is so gross why would you even give me that!” you exclaimed.

“i never said it was good,” hyunjin mumbled.

the school’s research center was surprisingly empty, with just a few students surrounding you. you waited until minho finally showed up. 

“minho,” you called. 

“you ever heard of answering your phone?” he asked aggresively.

“i know, im sorry, i can pay for dry cleaning-”

“thats  not what i was worried about, you rand out of the party with no one, drunk and alone, do you know how scary that sounds?” minho asked you.

“i- uh, yeah,” you replied. there was an awkward pause.

“i’m sorry, y/n, i was just, i was really worried,” he stated. you nodded. “so you got home safe?” minho asked. 

“yeah, my friend hyunjin found me, luckily,” you asnwered.

“good,” minho said. 

“did lia believe it?” you asked. minho smirked.

“totally,” he told you, “according to changbin she wouldn’t shut up about it, but then the whole throwing up thing happened..”. you smacked your face with your hand.

“what am i going to do that video is so embarrassing,” you said.

“oh that's nothing, last year a video of jisung stripping completely naked surfaced,” minho told you. you shivered at the thought of a video of yourself stripping being spread without your consent. “besides its only spreading because i mean, who would expect you to be at bang’s party,” minho said.

“was it really that big of a deal?” you asked. minho nodded.

“look, this crowd of typical college kids know when theres someone new, let alone someone who’s already known around campus for films,” minho answered. there was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you.

“so uh, what now?” you asked.

“well i guess we have to make some more exclusive meetings now that the words out,” minho replied. 

“so dinner?” you suggested. 

“sure,” minho said.

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unsurprisingly, you arrived first to the local restaurant on campus. though it wasnt uncommon, minho was slightly late, but it had already been 15 minutes. you sighed as you checked your phone, expecting a text message saying he was caught up in something, but to no avail, nothing. suddenly you heard someone knock on the table. “minho- oh, uh chris,” you said, looking up at the bleach blonded man.

“fancy seeing you here, y/n, lee leaving you waiting?” he asked you.

“well not really, im actually here early,” you lied. 

“mind if i take a seat?” he asked, motioning to the booth seat in front of you. 

“i- uh- yeah sure?” you replied. he chuckled.

“you sound scared, i’m just taking a seat until your boyfriend gets here, someone’s got to look over the pretty ladies,” chris said flirtatiously. you let out an awkward chuckle. “so, you and minho, how did you two meet?” he asked you. you quickly tried to think of a lie.

“uh, highschool,” you answered. chris looked at you suspiciously.

“lee didn’t go to our highschool,” he stated. 

“okay well- wait what? our school?” you questioned.  he turned his head slightly.

“do you not remember me?” he started, “we were in the same home economics class.”. you sat there and thought about it. suddenly you gasped.

“bang chan?!” you exclaimed. he giggled.

“yeah, i don't go by chan anymore, just chris,” chris told you, “i actually was wondering if you’d do me a favor and keep it between us?”. you nodded.

“of course, im just embarrassed i didn’t recognize you earlier,” you told him.

“no it's okay, most people didn’t or don’t, but i was more shocked when i heard your name spring around,” he explained.

“yeah well, that makes two of us, i never expected my films to get much praise,” you replied.

“i could, i still remember that jackson guy having you edit is student president video,” he said.

“you remember that?! don't speak of my dark past,” you said. you both laughed and smiled at each other.

“could i maybe have your number? maybe we could do some good old high school reminiscing together?” chris asked. you nodded. 

“yeah of course,here hand me your phone,” you said. you took chris’ phone and typed your number when someone cleared their throat. you both looked up to minho. you handed chris back his phone. 

“bang, would you mind telling me why you’re talking to my girlfriend?” minho questioned chris.

“i was just leaving actually,” chris said, standing up from the booth. chris walked away, and minho watched as he left. minho sighed before taking a seat where chris once sat.

“he didnt do anything right?” he asked. you shook your head.

“no uh, he was just asking some basic questions about us,” you answered. minho sort of looked off for a moment, you felt like he wanted to know more, but knew he wasn’t going to ask. “anyway, you’re late, like way late,” you stated.

“i know im sorry,” he replied. you sighed.

“it’s fine i guess,” you said. minho reached for your hands across the table and lightly squeezed. something about it, despite you knowing it was an act, felt so nice. it felt, right, to be with minho at that moment, and undoubtedly minho really wasn’t that bad of a guy. he seemed to care deeply about whether or not you were comfortable with specific things or whether you were safe. but part of you just thought that it was minho being a decent human being, and you curse yourself for setting your standards in men so low. “chris seems, nice enough, why do you guys hate each other so much?” you asked. minho didnt answer.

“its not important, really,” minho began, “we just don’t mesh i guess.”. you decided not to push more. you looked up from minho, and spotted some girls a few tables down looking at you and minho. “are they looking?” he asked. you nodded. he smirked. “great, surely they’ll tell all their little friends,” he responded.

“hopefully,” you responded. 

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ

“you’re dating who?!” hyunjin exclaimed. you quickly shushed him. 

“not so loud jinnie, it’s still a library,” you replied, “plus i thought the rumor would have spread by now.”. 

“i mean yeah, but i just assumed it was fake, y’know never took you as minho’s type,” he stated. you sighed.

“well, uh, i am so,” you said. hyunjin wrinkled his eye brows and leaned in. 

“you’re totally fibbing,” hyunjin wh 

“pshh what?” you stated loudly. you flushed at your sudden burst before clearing your throat, “i mean, what? why would i lie about that,” you said. hyunjin chuckled and crossed his arms.

“i don’t know maybe to convince the board you have a reason to stay at miroh,” hyunjin said flatly. you sighed.

“okay,” you admitted.

“seriously?” he asked. you nodded in shame.

“but look, it’s just until stay college can view my film,” you told him. 

“now everything makes sense, the secrecy, the parties,” he started listing.

“look, but you can’t tell anyone, not even his friends know,” you explained. hyunjin zipped his lips.

“your secret is safe with me,” he stated. someone cleared their throat behind you and hyunjin, startling you both. you turned around and to your horror met eye contact with chaeryeong. 

“woah! chaer! didn’t- uh, see you there!” you said nervously.

“i heard everything,” she said softly. you looked at hyunjin terrified. 

“well, uh, y/n and i were just talking about a film she’s making right?” hyunjin lied. you nodded.

“and the film includes y/n fake dating minho?” she asked. you looked at her pleadingly.

“chaer look i can explain-”

“im not going to say anything, even if the other girls knew, we all know lia needs to get over him,” she stated.

“thank you thank you thank you!” you exclaimed.

“i actually came over to talk to you, like a friend maybe?” she asked. hyunjin looked at you warningly.

“why?” you asked.

“someone has to make sure lia doesn’t make your life a living hell, and you’re gonna need someone besides minho to have your back,” she said.

“i have her back!” hyunjin exclaimed.

“okay, but you’re a guy, she needs some girl advice,” chaeryeong said, “and you don’t exactly run with our crowd.”. hyunjin sighed.

“i suppose,” he replied dramatically.

“hyunjin you can’t ‘suppose’ things for me! but either way, what would you get out of this chaer?” you asked.

“nothing other than lia getting over minho and a cool new film friend,” she said. you thought about it, chaeryeong is a super nice girl. out of all of the girls she had the friendliest aura. 

“alright,” you said.

before you knew it, you were back in jisung’s car with minho and his other friends. chaeryeong had given you a warning about this party earlier, so it was no surprise when you received the text from minho. this party seemed even crazier just from the outside. minho gripped your hand. “promise you won’t go drinking by yourself again,” minho said. you nodded.

“i won’t,” you replied.

“love birds come on!” changbin called. the house was trashed, and there were plenty of people dry humping and making out in clear sight. you don’t know when but at some point you stood there and stared at your surroundings, and it was then you realized you had lost minho. not only minho, but changbin, jisung, nor seungmin were nowhere to be found. you quickly took out your phone to text one of the four, but a familiar voice called to you.

“y/n? lee brought you along again?” chris said. you looked up at the familiar man. you nodded.

“yeah but haven’t the slightest clue where he went this time,” you said. 

“he left a lady like you unattended?” he asked you.

“oh no! i uh, i actually left on accident and i-”

“relax, y/n, i was just messing with you,” chris told you. you chuckled nervously.

“right,” you said. chris gave you an endearing smile, which sent slight butterflies to your stomach. 

“so, you know who hosting this party?” he asked you. you shook your head. “you’d be shocked to know this is mark lee’s place,” he said. 

“mark lee still lives around here?” you asked.

“apparently, he invited me actually,” he added. 

“he was probably shocked to see bang chan with an amazing build to,” you said. you then realized what you said. “oh my god did i just say that im so sorry-” chris laughed at your mess up.

“its alright, besides, nice to know you think i have a nice build,” chris flirted. okay so maybe you knew you shouldn’t be flirting with bang chan, or chris bang or whatever everyone called him. but it couldn’t hurt right? it’s not like you and minho were actually dating. but something about him was so…relaxing. he felt like someone you could spend time with and have meaningful conversations with you. 

“y/n! there you are! we’re playing truth or dare in- oh, hello there bang,” minho said, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“truth or dare? what is this middle school?” you asked minho.

“pretty common at these parties, lee, you didn’t tell y/n about one of the traditions at mark lee’s parties?” chris asked minho. 

“well i didn’t think it was that important, some of us have other priorities than just partying, bang,” minho replied.

“ouch you really think that lowly of me, lee?” chris said, putting his hand over his heart.

“actually, bang, i would like to know why you are talking to my girlfriend,” minho stated snarkely.

“okay so truth or dare why dont we just go babe!” you told minho, calming him down before he started something. minho wrapped an arm around you, before he turned the two of you away from chris. minho leaned into your ear.

“i wouldn’t hang around him much, y/n, not unless you’re with one of us,” minho told you.

“why he seems alright?” you replied confused.

“just take my word for it,” minho said. you sighed. soon you found yourself ina room surrounded by a mixture of people you’d met and not met, and of course lia and her friends were there. you made eye contact with chaeryeong and grinned. “alright why dont we get started,” minho announced to the room. you and minho took a seat next to each other on a couch. 

“minho you didn’t tell me your lady was y/n,” mark lee said.

“hello to you again mark,” you replied.

“you know mark lee?” minho asked you. you nodded.

“don’t worry about it,” you stated. for once minho didn’t push for more info, and the game began. it was a typical drinking game with the occasional sexual request. honestly, it seemed everyone in the room had forgotten you’d existed until it got to mark.

“so y/n and minho, you two are an item, right?” mark asked. 

“yes,” minho answered.

“but yet i’ve yet to see you two have any action like you and lia,” mark told minho.

“why should we have to?” minho asked.

“i’m just saying maybe you don’t like y/n that much,” mark stated. ouch. okay maybe you weren’t actually dating but that did tang your feelings a bit.

“mark, me and y/n are none of your business,” minho said.

“besides we don’t need to flaunt that we like each other to everyone,” you retorted. 

“then why don’t you prove it?” mark asked.

“what? lee this is obviously ridiculous,” minho said. 

“no i don’t think so,” lia added, “you and i had our fun didnt we?”. lia looked at you after saying this.

“y/n i dare you to get on minho’s lap and make out with him,” mark told you.

“mark why are you so obs-”

“alright,” you replied confidently. you got up from your seat before draping yourself on top of minho. you leaned your head in and touched his forehead. minho looked at you with shocked eyes.

“are you sure?” he wh you nodded, and as soon as you gave him permission, minho wrapped his arms around your shoulders and leaned in to kiss you. everyone in the roomed seemed to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ but honestly you drowned it out. minho took the lead, and even wrapped his arms around your waist. minho dominated you completely. unconsciously, you grinded against minho’s abdomen, feeling a surge of excitement down below. minho slowly pulled his face back. without realizing it you whispered softly:

“wow,”. suddenly you stood up and took your seat next to minho.

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ

finally the night seemed over, and minho was driving you home. “y/n, have you ever done that before?” he asked you.

“done what?” you asked back.

“you know…making out,” he stated. you blushed a little bit.

“um, no,” you replied. minho inhaled sharply.

“y/n…have you ever kissed anyone before?” he implored. you paused before answering. 

“i uh well i-”

“don’t tell me i was your first kiss,” minho said.

“i won’t then,” you replied.

“y/n,” he said, “you could have said no.”.

“its okay! it was just a kiss right? i mean im not 15 anymore minho,” you told him. minho bit the inside of his cheek. you could tell something about this had bothered him. you weren’t so sure why, it’s not like minho had that much of a conscience anyway. 

“well you also said at the begining of this no kissing,” he sreplied.

“we were in a circumstance where it was needed,” you said. honestly, you had forgotten there were rules to this arrangement. you didnt want to say it out loud, but you’d grown used to the arrangement. used to people calling you minho’s girlfriend, or vise versa depending on the person. 

there was one rule that was bothering you. you’d never had sex. like period. masturbation, maybe, but you never really tried it. once you got home that night you tossed and turned, possibly trying to sleep, but you could only think about minho’s lips. you feel slightly ashamed to be having this naughty thoughts, secretly wishing minho would trace his hands down your body. and as you started to imagine, you found yourself copying these actions. minho using his lips to gentle kiss down your body until finally reaching your aching core and then- you heard a knock at your door. you got up, flushed a little from what you were about to do, and left your bedroom. you opened the door to see minho. “minho what are you doing here?” you asked him.

“i don’t think we should do this anymore,” he told you. 

“wait what? why?” you asked.

“it’s gone too far,” he said, “you’re breaking the rules you set for my own gain, plus we’ve yet to do anything that will benefit you.”. you thought for a moment about what minho was saying.

“you promised me two months, the board hasn’t even changed their mind about my funds,”  you stated, “plus if you want to do something for me, we can go to the film fair tomorrow, our school is hosting it.”.

“are you serious?!” he exclaimed excitedly. 

“yeah it’s whatever, i can just uninvite hyunjin,” you said, “plus the head of the film department will be there, surely seeing us will make some sort of change.”. minho grinned.

“great,” he said.

you waiting for minho’s text saying he was outside the next day. the film fair was one of your favorite events of the year, before the whole holding back your funds thing. it was a great time to get feedback and other techniques from fellow directors. originally you were going to take hyunjin, you guys typically went every year, but you figured taking minho with you this one time would not be too big of a deal.

[minnie: im outside

you smiled at the message before stepping out and getting into his car. “is this outfit okay?” he asked you. you chuckled. “what?” he asked.

“it’s just here you are asking me if what you’re wearing is appropriate for a film fair,” you repleid.

“i’ve - uh, i’ve never been to one,” he admitted. 

“obviously, stop being so nervous it’s just like going to a festival,” you assured him. 

“hey don’t make fun of me!” he pouted.

“okay mr. popular, let’s get to the fair,” you said. the fair was as busy as ever, and a part of you was excited to just show minho around. you led him to the screening theatre, where you watched many films, but one in particular played that seemed to change the vibe between you two. film was art, and often directors and script writers include things from personal lives, what you weren’t expecting was for a sex scene to begin playing. minho glanced over at you, biting his lip slightly before turning back. you were incredibly focused on the camera angles and how the director was able to get a cinematic look at the scene, but minho could only be reminded of last night. he assumed you just didn’t noticed how much making out with you affected him, he fought back a lot of impulses to just pin you down right then and there. the thought of you unconsciously grinding against him desperately turned him on in a way he’d never been before. the thought of how unknowing you were when it came to relationships was attractive to minho in a way, it was almost like he could corrupt you by himself. “minho?” you called. minho shook his head from his thoughts.

“yeah?” he asked.

“i’m sorry, is this boring?” you replied.

“no! no! i was just spacing out, you know,” he answered. you got up and grabbed his hand.

“let’s go see other things! plus i need to make sure we’re seen by the other professors!” you exclaimed. minho nodded and gripped your hand back, following you. the two of you were walking around the festival until you were stopped by another student holding a camera. 

“could i snap a photo of you two? it’s for the school’s newspaper,” the student requested. you turned your head towards minho who nodded that it was alright. 

“sure!” you answered. 

“alright now pose!” he told you and minho. you leaned your head towards minho as the picture was taken. “hmm, i'm not sure if this is the shot i’m looking for, could we maybe be a bit more romantic, like maybe a kiss or something?” he asked. you looked at minho nervously.  minho saw your worried look.

“uh, maybe not,” he answered.

“c’mon! just a peck on the cheek?” the photographer asked. 

“okay,” you answered, without really asking minho beforehand.

“alright now 3-” you closed your eyes, getting ready to give minho a peck on the cheek. “2-” you leaned in, “1!” expecting to feel minho’s cheek against your lips, instead you met minho’s lips. the two of you looked at each other with wide eyes before quickly pulling away from each other. “aww, now that’s a cute one! thanks you two!” the photographer said, quickly walking away from the two of you, probably so you couldn’t deny the picture being used. 

“y/n- i’m so sor-”

“miss l/n!” a professor called. not just any professor, but your film super visor. dr. han was the main person in charge of whether or not you could get funds for your big film. 

“oh hi there dr. han! fancy seeing you, the film advisor, at our local college film festival,” you said awkwardly, knowing he just witnessed you and minho’s accidental kiss a second ago.

“yes, fancy it is miss l/n..i was rather surprised you didn’t submit a film this time around,” dr. han commented. bullshit. he knows exactly why. 

“oh i’m just saving up for film equipment!” you said. minho looked at dr. han and back at you. minho had only really heard rumors about dr. han and how strict and intimidating he is. he also could see through dr. han’s bullshit as well as you could. it was pretty obvious there was a hint of tension between you and the professor. and not the good, sexual, kind. the kind that was between him and chris kind of tension. 

“and who’s this that you’re with?” dr. han asked.

“oh this is-”

“lee minho, y/n’s boyfriend! so night to meet you dr. han, y/n has told me so much about how you’ve helped her and her films!” minho interjected. dr. han looked at minho suspiciously.

“ah yes, mr. lee, i believe i’ve heard some students mention you two are new item,” the professor said to minho. minho didn’t like dr. han. he decided this right there. why would  a professor be so invested in rumors around the college? minho put his arm around you and laughed awkwardly.

“yeah, i guess we have been pretty open about our relationship, right y/n?” minho asked you.

“yeah, sorry you had to see me in such a casual way professor,” you apologized.

“oh its no problem, students should be free to…express however they want,” dr. han said. there was an awkward silence that followed his sentence.

“well, minho and i have other film festival things to see, it was nice seeing you dr. han!” you said, taking minho’s arm off your shoulder, and grabbing it to walk away. 

“that’s the ass that’s withholding your funds?” minho asked. you sighed.

“yeah, but he’s probably the one guy i have to get through to get my funds. so it’s priority that he knows we’re dating. thank you for the save,” you told him, “either way is there anything else you’d like to see, i come to this festival like every year so.”. 

“what’s your favorite thing at this festival?” minho asked you. you thought about your answer for a bit.

“okay, its boring though,” you answered.

“i don’t care,” he said. you smiled, you realized you were still holding minho’s arm, and let go. 

“okay follow me!” you exclaimed

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ

you took your id out of your bag, and used it against the photo lab’s door. “this isn’t apart of the festival,” minho commented.

“no, but since everyone is at the festival no one is gonna come in here, also it’s so much quieter in here,” you replied, opening the door to the dark room. the two of you walked in and minho let out a quiet ‘wow’. you looked at the slight red rays against minho’s face with a smile while he stood astonished at the room.

“what is this place?” he asked. 

“dark room, it’s used to process film,” you answered. minho looked at all the processing images around him, before turning back to you. you walked over to a clear empty table, typically used to set your things down before doing anything else in the room. you pushed your self up before taking a seat. “i love this place, i mean i don’t think i’ve used it since freshman year, and since the first award winning film i made,” you said, “i’m sorry i’m talking too much aren’t i, i’ll just-”

“no no! i-,” minho started, “i like hearing what you like.”. minho stood in front of you, the two of you staring into each other's eyes. you hadn’t noticed it before, but his eyes were this almost black tone, which made the lights reflecting off of them look like mini stars. there was a silence between you two, it was comfortable though. minho brought a hand up to your cheek and rubbed his thumb against it. 

“minho,” you called. he hummed, removing his hand, but you quickly reach for it to go back. his skin was incredibly soft for a college man, let alone one like minho who you assumed couldn’t have a skin routine. you rubbed your thumb across his hand before he put his forehead against yours.

“can i kiss you?” he whispered.

“please,” you answered. and for the first time, minho kissed you. not like for show, but really kissed you. this kiss felt different, it was definitely real, but it was also heavy. eventually this one kiss turned into another, and then another, until finally the two of you were making out. you spread your legs, allowing minho to stand between them as he continued kissing you. minho eventually moved from your lips to your neck, and the sudden contact made you let out a mewl. he pulled back.

“is this okay, y/n?” he asked. 

“more than okay, please just- don’t stop,” you begged. minho smirked, hearing your request turned minho on more than he’d like to admit. his demeanor changed from an intimate one to a much darker, and sexier one. he began to suck on different parts of your neck, above your collarbone, under your jaw, your jaw line, really anywhere he could. “min please,” you said. he stopped kissing, and looked directly into your eyes. the once star filled eyes were full of determination and want.

“please what baby?” he asked. the low tone of his voice when he said the pet name sent electricity immediately down to your core.

“please more,” you said. minho chuckled as he reached for the hem of your shirt. you lifted our arms up, allowing him to easily take it off. he placed a kiss on your forehead. 

“aww pretty baby, has anyone ever seen you like this?” he questioned. you shook your head. he pressed his lips on your chest, just above your breasts. 

“no one, just you minnie,” you told him. he pampered your chest and collarbone area in kisses. 

“you’re so innocent baby,” minho commented. you groaned at what he said. “what? am i wrong?” he joked with you. he then started kissing your stomach and lower abdomen. you could feel yourself getting hotter. 

“minho please touch me,” you requested.

“touch you where?” he asked. you whined.

“you know where please,” you continued. he smirked, and grabbed your cheek.

“here?”, you shook your head, he moved his hand to your chest, “maybe here?”, you once again shook your head, and in response minho for once moved his hands to your inner thighs, “here baby?” but before you could answer, minho moved your skirt up and made contact with your clothed core, “is this where you want minnie to touch you?” he asked. you nodded. he chuckled again, and started rubbing gentle circles around your panties. “i bet you’ve thought about this,” he started, “you’ve touched yourself wishing it was my hand haven’t you, y/n.”. you nodded to minho’s statement. you subconsciously began to grind against his hand and minho brought his other hand to your shoulders. “patience baby, minnie will make you feel all sorts of good, you just need to wait,” he told you. you whined. he then moved his hands to the sides of your hip and gently pulled down your panties. “you’re so wet for me y/n,” he said, suddenly bringing a finger between the lips of your pussy. he rubbed up and down before circling your clit. 

“min,” you moaned.

“what?” he asked. 

“please put those inside of me please,” you begged. minho smiled.

“so demanding for someone who's never done this before,” he said.

“minho i need you please,” you told him. minho gentle moved the same finger circling your clit into your pussy. you moaned at the contact immediately, this felt way better than your own fingers. minho set a steady pace before his thumb began rubbing you clit. “fuck-” you let out.

“does it feel good baby?” he asked you.

“yes-s-so good,” you answered him. 

“good girl, your hole is so tight, do you think it could take another finger?” he asked. you nodded urgently. minho added another finger, this time his movements speeding up. it was embarrassing to you, as you felt an oh too familiar knot form in your stomach. you instinctively began grinding against his hand. upon noticing this, he removed his hand from your pussy. he then put both fingers in his mouth and let them out with a pop. you whined at the sight.

“h-hey! why did you stop?” you asked. 

“because i want to taste your cum first hand,” he answered. the statement sent shivers down your entire body. just his fingers alone had you cumming after mere minutes, the idea of his tongue exploring your entire private had your heart beating at a million miles a minute. minho wrapped his arms around your back, and pulled you forward on the table. he then leaned in and kissed you passionately,even sucking on your bottom lip before letting go. “are you ready?” he asked you. you nodded eagerly. minho then got on his knees and used his hands on your inner thighs to spread you out some more.”stay still for me baby,” he told you. you nodded. minho then dived straight into it, lapping your lower lips.he sucked on your clit,causing you let out an embarrassingly loud moan from how good it felt. minho’s tongue then entered your entrance, and licked our walls surrounding it. once again, it wasn’t long before you came on minho’s tongue. 

“fuck minho oh my god i’m so sorry-”

“no don't apologize, that was so hot baby,” he assured you. he pulled your panties back up, and you grabbed his arm.

“minho please i want to make you feel good too,” you told him.

“y/n, you really don’t have to, i don’t want to take all your first time’s away from you,” he said. you used both your hands to grab his right hand.

“please minho, please let me suck your cock,” you begged. 

“fuck y/n, you’re so intoxicating,” minho admitted. minho gently picked you up off of the table and made you stand against the table. he then unbuttoned his pants, and unzipped his zipper. you easily sunk down to be at level with his member, and pulled his boxers down releasing his erected cock. you looked back up at minho as you wrapped your hand around his shaft. “don’t look at me like that,” minho said to you.

“like what?” you asked.

“like you’re waiting for my permission,” he answered. 

“no i’m not i just…i don’t really know what to do,” you admitted. minho brushed his hand through is hair.

“okay, i’ll teach you,” he told you, “first grab it with both your hands, but not too tight, okay baby?”. you nodded, and moved your hands accordingly. he hissed at the contact of your hands and his member. “now start moving back and forth,” he instructed. you then followed suit, starting at a slow but steady pace. minho let out a breathy moan. you movd you hands up and down minho’s shaft for a few moments before he lightly pushed you away. 

“what happened?” you asked him.

“y/n…i’m sorry i can’t do this to you, not now at least,” he told you. you putted lightly.

“why not?” you replied.

“you need to have your first time with someone you actually like, not just someone like me,” he explained. he got up, zipped his pants before holding your right hand gesturing you to get up from your knees. “c’mon, let me drop you off,” he said. you shook your head.

“nah i uh, i’ll stay here a little while, you can go, i’ll catch a ride from hyunjin or the bus,” you added. he nodded. 

“text me when you get home okay?” he asked. you nodded, and with that you watch minho leave you in the dark room, with all the processing photos there to watch minho walk away from you.

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ

by all accounts,everything that happened the day before felt wrong, but minho couldn’t quite understand why. he’d messed around with girls since he started college and felt nothing. he messed around with lia for a while and honestly, he wished he could feel guilt. but you were different. the thing about sex to minho is that it has lost all meaning to him. with you, it almost felt better, like there was some true feelings behind it. it scared him in a way. he’d never really felt this way about anyone before. sure he’s had girlfriends, and sure he’s had sex, but with you, he secretly hoped this fake dating thing could possibly be a forever thing. the truth is though, that he knows it has to end eventually. and he’s terrified that if anything more happened yesterday you’d turn into all the other girls he’d fucked. he’d get what he wanted from your body, and then you’d be uninterested, or worse he’d be uninterested. he liked the way his stomach felt when he saw you. he liked the way you talked passionately about films and their directors. he liked that you showed him a secret room that you went to for tranquility. he liked you. maybe even more than that, but he’d never voice that. not when he knows you don’t feel the same way. you would never like someone like minho. aside from your reputation of being a film director, those who had spoken to you could attest that you weren’t just someone that casually dated. infact he can’t remember if you’d even mentioned dating someone before. oh god. you haven’t dated before. minho is all you’ve ever known. and he knows he’s not the greatest option-

“hello, earth to minho?” jisung said. minho shook his head free of his thoughts. 

“what were you talking about?” he asked his friend. jisung sighed.

“you’ve been like this all day, what’s going on?” jisung asked.

“oh nothing,” minho lied.

“is it something with y/n? i know you’re not used to these kinds of situations,” jisung told him. minho shook his head.

“no it’s nothing, really,” minho insisted, “just class work.”. jisung looked at minho, as if he knew minho was lying. jisung chose to move on from the topic knowing minho would  probably not tell him anything more.

“well anyway, lia is hosting a party tonight, it’s gonna be a big deal, and she wanted me to tell you you were free to go,” jisung repeated.

“cool, i’ll tell y/n, she’ll love to experience something other than bang’s parties,” minho said.

“i don’t know, lia didn’t mention if you could bring y/n,” jisung replied.

“well i’m bringing her anyway,” minho stated. he opened his phone to text you, but he suddenly remembered his thoughts from earlier. in the past sending you a text was simple but now he’s self-aware of every word he uses to send you a message. he would start typing, only to have to retype the message.

you jumped at the sound of your text notification going off. you hate to admit it, but you’d been waiting all day for minho to text you. after last night's events you’ve had a lot of thoughts. to be honest your main concern was whether or not minho would end your deal. but you couldn’t end the deal, you’ve yet to receive an email about your funds and i mean that was totally the only reason. not because you feared the two of you would never talk again after the deal.

[minho: there’s a party at lia’s…are you good with going?

[y/n: yeah totally! what time would you pick me up?

[minho: probably 8ish

you glanced at the clock. it was 1, which meant you had  7 hours. 7 hours was enough time to talk to chaeryeong before hand.

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ

you were on your own. chaeryeong responded to your text saying she was cramming that night for a test tomorrow. minho and you entered together but he was quickly distracted by his friends and other party activities. “oh hey y/n,” a female voice called. you recognized the voice to be yeji’s, another one of lia’s friends that you’ve met before.

“uh, hi,” you answered.

“minho leave you lonely again?” she asked you.

“oh, no, i just prefer navigating these things on my own,” you lied. you couldn’t let these girls see that they were getting to you. you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t let that happen. 

“you should join us, lia is having some select people to play some drinking games in her guest room, you should join,” she told you. your initial reaction was to say no, but the thought of pissing lia off was very appealing. you smiled.

“yeah lead the way,” you replied. yeji led you upstairs to the room this drinking game was being played. once you reached the room you immediately noticed that minho was nowhere to be found. everyone sat in a circle, a beer bottle in the center. you’ve seen enough movies to know what this is. someone spins the bottle and the two on the ends end up doing something. yeji handed you a shot glass.

“it’s fireball, trust me, this game is a lot more fun when you’re drunk,” she told you. she also appeared to have a shot, but she was waiting for you to drink yours. you were a tiny bit hesitent, but a shot surely couldn’t hurt? you quickly then took the shot. it was probably the grossest and strongest thing you’ve tasted, but after the unnecessary anxiety the past couple of days, you culdn’t lie that the rush of alchohol felt nice. yeji and you sat in the circle before another friend of their’s, yuna, was in th center.

“let’s stat the game shall we?” yuna asked. the room cheered as she set her hand on the empty beer bottle. 

a couple rounds had passed, and by the grace of god, you had yet to go. you had learned that the punishment was for the two people on the ends of the bottle had to make out for at least a minute. you felt a little tipsy from the shot earlier, but nothing more. suddenly, lia appeared in the center and said, “seeing as it’s my party, i think i have a right to spin the bottle,”. you knew this could not be good. lia spun the bottle and as the bottle spun “mysteriously” her foot tapped the glass, leading you to be one of the players. “oops!” lia said. you looked up and met eyes with chris. oh thank god. you had made your way over to him, and boldly sat on his lap. it felt wrong. i mean it’s not like you and minho were really dating right? it’s not cheating right? but that didn’t matter. you were determined to prove lia wrong. about what, you didn’t know but this gme was now in your court. 

“y/n you-”

“shh,” you cut chris off, “it’s just a game right?”. you smashed your lips against his, not quite sure how to make out you sort of tried sucking on chris’ bottom lip as minho sucked on yours merely 24 hours ago. tons of squeals, and ooo’s and ahh’s were heard until they abruptly ended by a dead silence. you broke the kiss only to see minho was right beside you, and suddenly he threw a hard punch at chris, pushing chris backwards. 

“this is some stupid game, lia, grow the fuck up and get over it. i’m not leaving y/n. especially not for you. and bang, keep your hands to yourself and think twice before touching my girlfriend ever again.” minho stated coldly. minho grabbed your hand, sort of forcing you to stand up. “we’re leaving. let’s go, babe,” he said, leading you out of the room. 

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ

the car ride back to your apartment was silent. you felt bad. you hadn’t thought it was personal, honestly, but you felt bad. minho put his car in park as he found a space at your apartments. “minho i-” you were quickly cut off by his lips pressed against yours. this kiss was very different from the warm and heavy from the day before, this one was needy and demanding. you kissed back, of course, and attempted to continue the kiss, but minho let go. 

“god you are so insatiable, do you know that?” he told you, “do you know how badly it’s taking everything in me not to just devour you right here, right now.”.

“then do it,” you stated. minho sighed.

“i can’t,” he said.

“why not?”

“becuase it’s you..”

“what’s that supposed to mean? is there something wrong with me?”

“no and thats the problem!”

“i’m not following,”

“do i need to spell it out for you, y/n?”

“maybe?”

“i like you. like like you. this isn’t fake to me anymore.” he admitted. a silence flooded the car. he sighed and leaned his head against the head rest. “i like you, y/n, and you don’t have to feel the same way, we can end this now if you want. i broke my own damn rule,” he said. you wereat a loss of words. maybe because a boy has never confessed to you like this, hell a boy has never confessed to you. “i’m sor-”

“i mean the rule was that i can’t fall for you, not that you couldn’t fall for me,” you said. minho laughed.

“okay whatever, can you please say something back to my confession that’s serious,” he asked.

“oh, oh, i like you too minho. i guess i broke your rule,” you replied. minho chuckled.

“i think this is the most awkward confession i’ve experienced, now can i please kiss you, as your boyfriend?” he asked.

“i mean you were already-” minho cut you off with a hushed kiss. this kiss was like the first, warm, sweet, genuine. he tried to pull away, but you wrapped your arms around his neck. he began to kiss somewhat harsher, demandingly. you could feel yourself become aroused just by his kiss. minho let go.

“i need to have you, baby,” he said. you nodded and the two of you got out of his car. as soon as you were inside your apartment, minho pressed you against the door, pressing his lips against yours harsher than before. he grabbed both of your wrists and held them above your head as he continued to kiss you, eventually kiss your shoulders and your neck and underneath your jaw. “i need you to tell me you’re okay with this, because once i start i will not stop unless you say a safe word,” he told you.

“safe word?” you asked.

“its a word you’ll say if you’re ever uncomfortable and we need to stop,” he answered.

“bunny?” you said.

“perfect,” he replied, before undoing your pant buttons. he rubbed your core through your panties, and you let out a whimper. “what’s wrong baby?” he asked.

“i need you,” you said.

“fuck, y/n, you cannot just be saying that or else i’ll need to fuck you right here,” he replied. you whined at his statement. “what? is something wrong?” he asked, genuinely.

“no, nothing is wrong it’s just, you’re so hot,” you told him.

“such a desperate little baby, getting turned on just by my words,” he said, “i’m going to make you my little baby, you’d like that wouldn’t you? would you like to be minnie’s little cum whore?”. he then put his hand down your panties, rubbing his pointer finger over your clit. 

“f-fuck,” you let out in a whisper. 

“i know you like my fingers more than that, be loud for me baby,” minho instructed. suddenly he inserted two of his fingers into your core. he moved at a steady pace, one that wasn’t too fast or too slow. “god you’re so tight,” he commented to himself. 

“m-min i-i’m-”

“don’t.” he told you, “trust me i can feel how tight you are, but tonight i want you cum on something else.”.

“wh-what?” you said. minho removed his fingers from your dripping cunt. minho picked you up and walked towards your bedroom. he sat you on the edge, took off your pants and panties, then, grabbing your  thighs he pushed your core to his face and immediately began lapping at your pussy. you brought your hands down to grip minho’s locks as he went down on you. “minnie oh shit– that feels so good,” you said. he huffed against you as a response. suddenly, you felt fingers entering you again, this time at a much faster rate. you felt like this was cloud 9. nothing could feel better than this moment. “min- i-i can’t hold it anymore please,” you begged. minho suddenly pushed away, and ou whined at the loss of contact. he pulled down his pants and you could see his length through his boxers. it was practically begging to be freed. minho ran his fingers through his hair. 

“do you have any condoms?” he asked you. you remembered you had a few in your drawer, some for safe keeping. minho walked towards your bed side drawer and took the condom out. he ripped it open and pulled down his boxers. his member sprung, and seemed to be slightly wet from his own pre-cum. he pumped himself a few times before he put on the condom. he then came back and leaned over you. “are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked. you nodded your head. you took your right hand and gently held his cheek.

“more sure than i’ve ever been,” you answered. and with that, minho took your hand and held it, intertwining your hands.

“alright, now this may hurt a little baby, but i promise i’ll make you feel so good. please just say your safe word if you want to stop.”. you nodded. minho rubbed his member between your lips, using your wetness as lube. he then aligned himself to your opening, and slowly inserted himself in. you squeezed minho’s hand at the slightest pinch you felt from his cock entering you. minho slowly inserted himself inch by inch, until finally he bottomed out, causing him to let out a moan. “god your pussy is amazing, are you okay sweetheart?” he asked.

“yes minnie,” you started, you could feel yourself clench all of the sudden, “please move.”.

“of course, i’m gonna use this pussy as my personal pocket,” he answered you. he then brought himself out before entering again. minho began to thrust, each pump getting faster than the last. “g-god you’re tighter than i though, i could use your cunt all day,” he stated. you moaned at the thought causing minho to chuckle. “you like that huh? you want to be minnies little fuck toy?” he said. 

“y-yes please, just, don’t stop this feels so good,” you managed to let out. minho began a steady pace, similar to his fingers that was in between fast and slow. “min i feel it-”

“thats alright baby, cum on my cock. show minnie how good you feel, my sweet.” he said. you felt yourself unravel, letting out some curses and versions of minhos name. it wasn’t too long before minho came as well, cumming inside of his condom.

♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ・。゜♥｡ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡

when you woke up, you felt the warmth of minho’s arms around you. he smirked. “goodmorning sweetheart,” he said. you yawned.

“have you been watching me sleep?” you asked.

“don’t ruin the moment!” he said, “i just wanted to look at my perfect girlfriend.”. you loved hearing that come out of his mouth, genuinely. you snuggled yourself into his chest.

“i could just lay with you all day,” you said.

“is that so?” he replied. you nodded.

“i’m being so serious,” you repled. minho ran his fingers through your hair. 

“do you think you’ll get the funds to your film now?” he asked you.

“i’m not sure, not unless you released our sex tape publicly, but in that case it better not have been for free,” you answered. minho laughed, and you listened to the way his voice sounded with your ear pressed to his chest. 

a/n: i hoped you enjoyed it!! <3 thankss for reading.

[antiwhores]

Leaving - Bakugou x reader

———

Part 2

Bakugou lashes out at you and its your last straw. So you leave.

Heavy angst, no comfort cause we die like real niggas, domestic abuse (verbal/emotional), depression, fighting, disappointment,

Wrote this because I’m barely surviving rn 💀 i cannot relapse until Christmas and im fucking DYING !!! Anyway if yall want a part 2 lmk 😈

You’re depressed, so depressed that you can barely get out of bed to pee. Maybe you’re depressed because of the relationship, you cant tell. Maybe its the fact that you starve yourself every time he yells at you as a habit. Or maybe its the fact he doesn’t spend his days off with you anymore. He just goes out drinking with his friends or does whatever the fuck he does. Or maybe its the fact he doesn’t fucking care.

He only says mean things to you now.

“What the fuck? Why’re you so sad? You do nothing all day. You just sit in this house that I pay for. You’re not constantly almost dying, working hard.” He says this to you after he finds you crying in the guest room. You stay silent, its a battle that you dont have the energy to fight anymore.

The next day you go searching for a job. You confine in a friend and she gives you a job at her bookstore. She says that theres too locations you can work at. Apparently, she’ll be moving out of state to the next one soon and she invited you. She knew how horrible you felt. She was giving you an escape.

The next day you make dinner for Katsuki. You both sit down at the nearly abandoned dining table. It was refreshing for a few minutes, even though he didn’t involve himself in any of your conversation. You were just happy he wasn’t yelling at you.

You decide to drop the bomb after 5 minutes of eating. You could hardly contain your excitement when you asked him “Guess what?” He showed hardly any interest in you but some was better than none.

He looked up at you, signaling for you to speak. You beamed at him as you announced your new job. You immediately started to ramble about how cool it’ll be to get out and how excited you were.

You looked up at him and immediately stopped talking. He looked angry, his lip curled upwards and his brows furrowed.

You looked at him with confusion evident on your face. “What’s wrong?” You honestly didn’t expect this reaction. You were just stuck. Why was he angry when you’re finally doing something good?

“Do you think I’m just not capable of providing? I offer you money all the fucking time but you want a job? I give you enough and you dont use it unless its for food. What’s wrong with my money?”

His grip on the chopsticks folded them. You couldn’t even cry yet, you were just shocked. “I thought you’d like it? You always complain about me ‘freeloading’ off of you and how you pay all the bills. I could start paying too!”

You flinched as he slammed his fists against the table. “I don’t need your stupid fucking 9-5 money! Im the number 6 hero! You’re probably not even doing this for the rent. What do you want?”

No, no, no. This was not how this was supposed to go. He was supposed to be happy. And then you could be happy too. He would have asked you about your job and smiled and praised you. What is happening?

He jerked himself out of his seat and stomped over to you. You scooted yourself back away from him in the chair he grabbed it and held you still.

He pulled out his wallet and rummaged through it. “What? Do you want some of those stupid books? Some decorations for this house? A necklace?” You stared at him with wide eyes at he pulled out a wad of cash and shoved it into your chest.

“There, ya happy now? Still want that job?” He crossed his arms, waiting for you to respond.

He treated you as if you were a slut, a gold digger. You were with him before he was rich. How could he even think that? You were done.

You looked down at the floor as tears flooded your eyelids. “Do you think I’m only here for your money?” It was a question you knew you had to ask. You would be left curious and broken for the rest of your life if you didn’t know now.

“You know, I’m starting to think so.”

That was your last straw. You couldn’t do this anymore.

The giggles came out before the sobs. Tears streamed down your cheeks yet you still laughed. “The hell are you laughing for?!” Its like he was upset that you weren’t already screaming at him.

You looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time in what felt like years.

“Do you know how hard you are to love?”

He paused, opening and closing his mouth.

You slid off your ring and set it on the table. Then you gathered the money through blurry eyes. The sobs started to fill in when you shoved the money into his chest just as he had done to you. You watch his fall to the floor.

“I try and try my best. I get a job, I make you dinner, I give you everything I have.” You reach up to take off the necklace that had his initials carved into. “I defend you, I make enemies for you, I sacrificed friendships and family relationships just to please you. But its never enough.” You set the necklace down and go to the bracelet he gave you. “I never asked for any of this expensive shit. The only thing I asked for was your love.” You set the bracelet down with your resolve.

He’s staring at you now with a look of surprise. You meet his eyes again with a look he hasn’t seen directed at him ever. “I’m done, Bakugou. Im done.”

You dont even notice when you start to gather your charger and car keys. You dont hear anything he has to say. You don’t hear the pleas for you to just listen and calm down. You dont hear the insults he says when he calls you overdramatic. And you definitely don’t hear the apology, cause it never came.

You walked towards the door, “I’m gonna pick up the rest my stuff tomorrow.” He grabs your wrist just before you touch the doorknob. “Please y/n, just sit down for one fucking second. We can talk about this!” You yank yourself out of him hands, “Touch me again and I’ll scream.”

You knew he couldn’t afford anything else on his record, especially domestic abuse. He had to just watch as you walked away. And you fucking loved it.

[a-girl-in-neverland]

Once again, im here to complain about the bridgerton subplots and changes

So spoiler for Season 3 ahead

I hated that they just cast Anthony and Kate aside. Do they really had to go RUNNING to India and couldnt wait for FRANCESCA'S WEDDING???? Hello??? Werent they the head of the family??

The intention with that is great and loving but is the showrunner allergic to having Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley in our screens for more than 3 minutes????

Like at that scene of the night before Polins wedding. Colin mentions that Kanthony has "come back"??? From where??? Did they run off again??

(Also i would really like to know who Edwina married and a bit of her love story)

The way in which the writers simply forgot about benedict's art/painting plot is atonishing. The build up of S1 to S2 was great, with the art school, but then in S3 is like that never happened?? Why didnt they explore more Benedict's lack of purpose or even his disappoinment with Anthony's actions?? Noooo, they just rather have him have sex with people all season long

(Before you come after me, im not critizing Benedicts sexuality, im just pissed that his character had barely nothing to do this season other than have sex, but i did enjoy a lot his scenes with eloise)

The Mondrichs plot was sooooo inconsequential and had nothing to do with any other one in the entire season. What was the point of keeping them?????

Somehow the writers in this show can make up irrelevant plots for lukewarm characters but cant come up with anything for the most beloved ones

And lastly about Michaela Stirling. So many people on twitter are fighting over this that is sickening. But lemme tell you this, all my life i had the pleasure (or better, the experience) to see many books i adore turn into movies/tv shows. Sometimes in adapting change is good, sometimes is necessary. But this change alters the whole story.

To be clear, i am NOT trying to be disrespectul, or homophobic or even mean about it. I dont mind the representation. In fact i think stories centered around LGBTQ+ leads, in this period of time, is a niche that could be much explored. Bridgerton could inspire people who belong in this community to write these stories, which is great.

However, the change of introducing Michaela completely transforms Francescas story. The second-love with the exploration of sexuality trope has great potential. But changing so greatly a story thats well known between the fans is risky to say at least.

Francescas book is not my favorite (by far actually) but it is for a lot of people, and a lot of readers have been enamoured with michael for the last 20 years, at least. So i understand if people get upset, because i would too if my favorite couple/story changed so much out of the blue

And honestly, i think this is one of the ways the show is trying to remain relevant. I AM NOT trying to say that TV should use LGBTQ+ love stories as clickbait. But be serious, the books were written as 8 straight love stories, in todays society people would be complaining if they followed if by the rule.

Anyway, Polin were wonderful. Nicola and Luke you are so so so loved, we couldnt have actors that loved their characters more

(And at this point i might be a Portia Featherington stan, she grew a lot on me)

If you read this far, i hope you have a great week and please dont come for my critics, they are not hate opinions, i just needed to rant <3

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

my ranking of the tig villains/most hated characters

i'm bored so i'm doing this. 1 is the character i hate most meaning 8 is the one i hate the least. i apologize if this sucks. its quite late for me as i'm writing this.

drake. ik most people would put eve or smth at the top of this list, but this dude is an abuser and a pedophile (he used to call avery jailbait which means "a person who is younger than the legal age of consent for sexual activity and usually appears older, with the implication that a person above the age of consent might find them sexually attractive" according to wikipedia). not only was he horrible to libby, but he also tried to kill avery. characters like him just give me the ick and the creeps and i just can't stand them.

eve. i think this is self-explanatory. eve is one of the most annoying and petty characters i've ever read about. she tried to kill avery, kidnapped tobias (and ruined his chances of forming a better relationship with avery, and, as the biggest toby and avery father daugther stan, i cannot stand this), manipulated grayson, and hurt many people. if you don't hate her, i don't trust you. also, i hope she doesn't get a redemption arc bc she doesn't deserve it.

sheffield. i have one thing to thank this dude for and that's the love confession from jameson after he put avery in a coma. other than that, he bombed avery, kidnapped avery, cheated on his wife, was a horrible 'father' to grayson (and his daugthers bc of colin). he's honestly tied with eve (he's not first cause i can't stand guys like drake). i dont really think i have to explain myself

emily. i really don't think i have to explain. she's manipulative, petty, self-absorbed. the only thing she has going for her is that she didn't try to kill anyone. she treated the boys like crap, emotionally abused her sister, and (although she wasn't present to do it i still blame her for it) affected avery's self-esteem.

ricky. i know he's high on this list but he's just so creepy to me. anyone who hurts avery in any way si automatically a no for me. he was never there for avery and libby, refused to take custody of her after her mom died, didn't show up to hannah's funeral, tried to step up to get money after avery inherited, got together with skye (ew???). ik this doesn't seem horrible in comparison to what the others did, but seeing avery's feelings towards him in the books (especially thl) made me despise him so that's why he's so high up.

tobias. he emotionally abused his grandsons, put avery in a position that he knew might get her killed, treated his own kids horribly, hurt a lot of people in order to become who he became. the only reason he isn't higher up is bc he did sometimes do nice things (although not often).

vincent. him and tobias are sort of interchangeable??? but he partnered with eve to get toby kidnapped (sort of putting a stop to toby and avery's relationship which like said earlier pisses me off). from what i remember, he didn't really do anything else and i sort of understand where he was coming from (getting revenge on tobias) but what he did is still horrible and taking his anger towards tobias out on a teenage girl is just weird to me.

skye. i find her character sort of interesting but she is a horrible mother towards her sons. she's also a huge pick me bc who sleeps with their sister's boyfriend. she also tried to get avery killed which is just a no no. this is sort of off topic and i've made a post about this before but she didn't get punished enough for what she did to avery and that is grayson's fault. i talk about it in slightly more detail in this post.

although i knew that avery was hurt by a lot of people in this series, this really showed me exactly how bad it was. there are even more people. literally every person on this list hurt her (directly or indirectly (in emily and vincent's case)). these people either tried to get her killed, messed with her head or both. avery is a girl boss. she deserves better.

[moghedien]

Silly but serious question. If someone were interested in WOT due to your posts about it/the Forsaken, do you think that person would probably enjoy the books? Assuming that person already enjoys fantasy and all the usual bells and whistles.

Its hard for me to say definitely without knowing you or your personal tastes and whatnot. I am one that won't just blanket recommend wheel of time. It's my favorite book series, but its also like 4 million words long so I know that its not gonna be most people's thing, ya know?

If you're already interested though, I don't really see a reason not to try the books, so long as you're aware of its length and the fact that the overarching story can take a bit to get into. It's also got some dated tropes and things that will seem unoriginal and overused (partially because it is, partially because a lot of modern fantasy is inspired by WoT). Its a product of its time and the author had hangups. It came out over 30 years ago and all that. I dont' think its as bad as some people make it out to be though. I've read some "progressive" fantasy from around the same time period that I think handles some issues waaaaaay worse than WoT. but you know, just be aware that things in it aren't perfect.

Also if you're specifically interested in the Forsaken, there is a whole lot of Forsaken nonsense throughout the series, but it does take a few books to really get into that aspect. You see some of it in the first books, but it doesn't really get going until a few books in.

If you haven't watched the TV show, you might get some more immediate forsaken gratification there,, but the show hasn't gotten to the point where they really start being a thing yet either (next season tho!) so there's that to consider. it just makes certain ones more present and in your face than the early books, which I do enjoy.

Basically, my answer is just: idk but it doesn't hurt to try the books. Just know that the first book is kinda intentionally formulaic and meant to resemble other fantasy series, but it sheds that by book 2 and sort of becomes the Wheel of Time in book 4 imo

If you're gonna read the books, start with book 1, not the prequel. You can read the prequel after book 5 but probably better placed after book 10 when it was published (in my opinion). If you've watched the show, you can read the prequel whenever you want though. If you wanna read the books before the show, read through book 3 before doing so

and just a word of warning/advice if you are going to read the books, which will contradict itself but listen: do not go looking at "new reader" advice from fans. Even well meaning book fans have this bad habit about "warning" new fans about certain things in the series which has a tendency to dishearten new fans and shade their opinions in negative ways. I'm not talking about content warning or things that a reader might need to know about for mental health or comfort reasons. I'm talking about books fans trying to warn people about the "boring" and "bad" parts of the series. I've done this in the past and I've always regretted it, and people that aren't warned ahead of time tend to have a better reading experience. Just don't go listening to fans

and also never ever ever ever google any characters name, I am being dead serious, everything about the series will be spoiled for you that way its happened to all of us learn from our mistakes. Like literally would rather gets asks with random questions about characters than for someone google a character's name