#i dont want to create like discourse discourse

[luxiomahariel]

so i lurk in the tags and i guess im just. a little confused about the conversations going on in transandrophobia and transmisogyny tags. apologies for any spelling errors

firstly im not all that familiar with all the terminology bc i don't spend a lot of time in online discussion spaces where language tends to evolve the fastest. but more importantly:

i don't quite understand why so many people consider creating a new term for transmasc issues a problem. as far as i can tell (and i could be reading it wrong, and im sure there are outliers but this is my general reading) no one is using it to say that transmisogyny doesn't exist or "isn't that bad", it's just a way to express a different experience, right? i guess i just wanted to express my confusion to someone and you seem to be one of the more prominent blogs here

theres been a couple points ive seen floating around for why people dont like the term and its all been very petty or bigoted imo

its "copying the homework" of transmisogyny. basically the equivalent of the fucking "gay flag is copying the lesbian flag!!!!!" discourse. literally who cares.

"being a man isnt a meaningful intersection because you cant be oppressed for being men!" men of color (including the one who coined the term) disagree and id rather listen to them than the opinions of white people trying to talk over them

"transandrophobia is just being used to spread transmisogyny!" youre listening to other peoples opinions of transandrophobia rather than what we're actually saying in the tag. people who have actually taken the time to look through the tag have come to understand our issues as trans men/mascs better. besides that, i see transandrophobia in the transmisogyny tag CONSTANTLY. that doesnt mean that the term transmisogyny should be abandoned. shitty people exist. get a grip.

"trans men/mascs arent oppressed". invalid and incorrect. next.

"trans men/mascs have no uniques experience of oppression so theres no need for a word for it" forced pregnancy thats meant to detransition us. next.

"trans women/fems have it worse because they get murdered more". because no one fucking know about the struggles we as trans men/mascs go through because we are hyperinvisible even within the queer community. everyone always uses "trans" to mean exclusively trans women/fems. even spaces that are labeled as supposedly "trans friendly" are only meant for trans women/fems and nonbinary people and trans men/mascs are excluded. but you dont hear about that shit because theres no place for us to talk about it until we made a word for it and are talking about our experiences under it. no one will ever know theres a problem if theres no word for that problem.

"the coiner of transandrophobia is a rapist with a butch breaking kink" this is what a very twisted game of telephone has created. the coiner is a sex worker who indulged in the kink of a client that is a trans woman with a butch breaking kink. thats what actually happened and its disgusting that people felt the need to attack and target a tmoc sex worker like this.

i think thats all of the arguments and hopefully this is a decent enough breakdown of all of them for u anon

[roseofdarkness0]

I would like to argue against that, as in it wasn't without meaning, but I do see your point and I tip my hat to you

Kinda sad when you realise the first person D-16 killed wasn't sentinel it was his best friend.

[bread-wizards]

I think that Orym actually does doubt Imogen, but this isn't a thing that is unique to Imogen. Orym doubts all of them to an extent, because paranoia is something he struggles with (and this is continuously reinforced by the story).

It's not a 'good' thing that he should never get over, nor is it an immoral character flaw that proves he actually hates Imogen. However it's also not something I think he can get over as long as the threat of having to possibly fight his friends exists.

"I have all the faith in the world in you guys, all of you. And I have also spent time thinking how to neutralize each of you."

[subeddieweek]

You understand that sub Eddie is a term used and tagged widely by the entire Eddie fandom and all Eddie ships right? Totally fair to only want your event to be Steddie but you could have picked a more specific name instead of just borrowing one that already exists for everyone. It’s not fair to bring hate to people that are just minding their business with no idea this event is even happening but now they have people commenting on their shit that other ships aren’t allowed. Being rude because you didn’t know an event had commandeered the term sub Eddie for the week. There’s enough hate in this space already.

We picked the name because it was available! Any other event group could have done the same if we hadn't, but out of all the other media and ships that involve someone named Eddie, no one did. Any other event can pick their own, more specific name, too, if they want.

Trust us, we understand being hated in our fan communities, but this ask is a waste of our time and yours. We just finished up our second year with this being a Steddie-only event, so this isn't a new thing we suddenly "commandeered," and we didn't consider anyone would see it that way when we picked our name. Assuming we had malicious intent over something so small like this is unfair.

The standalone Sub Eddie Munson tag can be used by anyone at ANY time and we've never said anything to the contrary. This is part of why we specified this year to tag our specific blog (which has all our rules pinned and easy to find so there should be minimum confusion as to what/who this event is for) because other people use the same tags we use.

All we have asked is that people don't use our event collection on AO3 for unrelated works which is really reasonable seeing as we personally made the collection and moderate it ourselves. If there are other events going on, event moderators should be making their own collections. If there isn't another event going on, people shouldn't be using a random moderated event collection anyway.

No one speaks for our event except for the official social media pages and we are unaware of any conflict happening in other places. Sorry this is happening, but we didn't ask for that and that's the fault of people who think they can backseat-moderate an event they aren't actually involved with.

And to anyone who feels the need to comment on works they feel don't "fit," the only official fics for our event are in our official collection on AO3 that we have linked numerous times, or they are reblogged on our official social medias. If it's not here or in the collection, it's entirely separate and you shouldn't be speaking for the event. We have given you a way to read only fics for this event by moderating the collection ourselves, so looking elsewhere is the fault of your own, not the writers simply using the sub Eddie tag.

tl;dr - you can use the sub Eddie Munson tag, literally nobody cares. Other events can pick their own names, we took it because it was available. Just don't use collection we personally made or randomly tag our URL/@ and we don't have an issue because we moderate our event and show everyone what's actually part of it. No one speaks for our event except for us, so stop doing that if you are.

[ultra-violetra]

so I wanted to say that since I'm really enjoying this event, I will likely continue to post about it, including analysis. I want to talk about the game mechanics and strategies but it's been so hard to do without people thinking you're talking about the discourse. I think as a community we all need to be a little less jumpy about this event, because I've seen posts of people being afraid to talk about the team their watching because they don't want to be dragged into discourse. I think a lot of genuinely lighthearted posts about a fun event are being misconstrued as something malicious

all of my posts are made with the spirit of friendly competition. a lot of other people are posting like this too! people should be able to do this without getting accused of hating ccs or being unfair

i've been posting a lot about red team, specifically because that's who i've been watching the most. i watch pretty much every english speaking qsmp member, it just so happens that right now i have a sub to foolish so i've been watching him so i don't have to deal with ads. because of this, i will probably continue to talk about red team the most. i'll talk about blue and green teams when i watch them! if i had the time to watch vods from every team and do a complete strategy analysis, i would. but I don't have that time. i genuinely don't care which team wins, but that doesn't mean I won't be rooting for certain teams on certain days. like on day 2, red team going from barely visible on the score bar to winning the day was an amazing underdog story! of course i'm going to root for them! and for day 3 I was rooting for green team because i want to see fitmc tryhard!

at the end of the day this is a fun event. it's fun for the ccs so it should be fun for the fandom. and if you're scrolling thru tags and getting upset/annoyed/angry at people posting about a friendly competition, you might need to reevaluate yourself

[yurislava]

guys I don't think a petition to make a character canonically queer makes sense

[cowboymeowchow]

I wish i could block tags and id just never have to see it irl or online

[hassianlovebot]

ik there's a lot of debate about how palia is mixing heavy lore into what's supposed to be a relaxing, coxy life sim but also like,,, i feel like the way they're doing it now is literally fine?

the lore is definitely part of the world and the quests, but there's literally no in game timer or consequences. nothing bad happens if a player doesn't want to complete the temple bundles or skips lore dialogue or puts certain quests on the back burner (and you can choose to not see certain quests on the main ui so there's no stress there either). like,, i get that the lore Is heavy and that some people don't want that in their cute farming sim but again, there's literally nothing forcing players to interact with or care about it. i genuinely do not see the issue??

[rattrait]

ts4 n animal crossing have the most toxic fandoms going

where’s the fun in offering ppl constructive criticisms on poorly done cc when they’re *STILL LEARNING* instead of biting their head off

i dont like paywalled shit, i dont like early access, n i dont like curseforge users but fuck me y’alls dramas can be so pathetic n immature

fair enough if someone refuses to stop using curseforge, that’s fucked but chill tf out

anyways, free palestine n stop being chronically online 🤎

[leapingthroughworlds]

history class on the nineteenth century had me on an almost 2h long mental breakdown. bad day plus imperialism and exposing people on world fairs and craniology and the -isms all that shit don't go well. at all.

[himedanshicult]

i think that last post gets at a tendency thats really hard to talk abt as a trans woman where like, in societal discourses, be they at news outlets or party conferences or queer spaces or wherever, trans women are built up as this influential group; the accusation of transmisogyny has undeniable power to it, being a trans woman helps you navigate queer and womens spaces, being a trans woman makes you seen as more innocent and less violent, therefore being a trans woman confers some social privilege that you can use as currency, being a trans woman means you can use your identity to pursue your own goals and agenda, trans women as a group exert pressure on other groups [most commonly perceived as being inflicted upon queers and women, esp cis lesbians] to go along with what you believe etc etc and it all piles up and it creates a comprehensive image of the position of trans women in contemporary society that is completely and utterly detached from the actual position of trans women in society. like you cannot under exaggerate how badly trans women are faring even in the most progressive areas of the most progressive countries. like even that post assumes that the "dead tranny hooker" jokes are a thing of the past, an assumption that naked, unapologetic transmisogyny is a bygone problem now replaced with more concealed transmisogyny when thats just not true.

the actual social consensus on trans women is so much more negative and violent than anyone in progressive spaces wants to admit, and most trans women know it, but when we talk abt how badly we have it we're immediately talked down and fed a bunch of bullshit talking points abt how we're just hysterical bitches who dont understand xyz oppression so they can continue to only talk about the perception of transmisogyny that exists in their heads

[eldritch-araneae]

Another one...like where these ppl get the idea that Sif is being infantalised???? Or what, they think being hugged and reassured when having breakdown is somehow INFANTALISATION?? Meanwhile us, who traumatized horribly and always have to deal with pain alone, would kill to have people doing this??? I blocked them ofc bc if they rilled up over Sif's angst then they really shouldnt read my comics.

I'm angry that theme of comforting is seen as something that only kids do and need. Adults should cry and suffer alone, even tho the whole point of the game is literally what happens when you dont get the support you need.

Holy fuck when a person calls caring and loving acts as infantalisation ._. Insanity

[paper-mario-wiki]

i have been struggling to find it, you seem like you might know tho.

i think you may have reblogged it or maybe you've seen it but it's an actor redoing a photoshoot of an older actor wearing like a really thick and soft looking sweater and the modern photo's sweater is just depressingly thin and lame? do you know of any avenues I could use to look for one of those really thick soft knit sweaters?

you seem to be good at finding 'vintage' or otherwise good clothes so have you seen anything like this in your travels thank u

i think ive seen that, let me look it up for you.

i remember the specific context of the discourse around that post was highlighting the difference in quality between a genuine Aran sweater (super fancy special expensive irish heirloom knitting technique, thats as best as i can summarize off the top of my head), and a fast fashion sweater made of cheap bullshit materials warn by a stupid dumb- sorry i started thinking about how shit the modern fashion industry is my insults started pouring onto the dude in the picture whose name escapes me. i remember hes from parks and rec so i'll look up the IMDb for it. i dont remember his name but i remember his face and his bit. he was the really energetic neuvo-yuppy freak who was always doing weird fashion stuff, or so ive gathered from my limited knowledge of that show.

ben shwartz! so if i look up "ben shwartz aran sweater"

here ya go!

actually looking at him he is kind of a doofus in that rinky dink thin ass bullshit nothing sweater. i dont think he IS one but he looks like one here, i feel.

anyway, this has been the process of finding that thing you wanted. thanks for stopping by.

oh wait i just reread the question, u were looking for how to buy old vintage stuff. uhhh ebay, vestiaire collective, and uhh. i mean if you'd be willing to just buy from an actual aran sweater company, which would be similarly spendy to buy a genuine vintage one in good condition, you can buy one made of recycled wool from an irish knittery called Sheep Inc, who display the carbon offset each individual product they produce creates.

they could be secretly evil, i dont know because this is all information ive had to dust off from the back of my mind.

anyways, i hope that you have found something similar to what you were looking for.

[velvetvexations]

Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)

Fascinating!

patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me

I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3

“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?

lmao literally

Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.

It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.

honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though

God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.

TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!

cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman

it’s insane to me that ‘it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now

we've regressed

when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me

unfortunately radfem juice is addictive

[jasmineandcedar]

Stepping away

I have written and rewritten this so many times it now turned into a full-blown incoherent ranting essay but I don’t really care anymore. I am trying to remain my usual level-headed self but I will allow myself one rant before I’m out. (Proceed with caution—I will be mentioning the pliant bones pile of shit below)

Until recently, I hadn’t fully grasped how vile this fandom can be. Blocking and filtering kept things tolerable for a while, but the closer we get to the announcement, the harder it becomes to escape the vitriol.

This has been my first fandom experience. I enjoyed ACOTAR offline for six years. It was a peaceful, enjoyable part of my life. Nothing about my love for the series has changed. The only thing that’s changed is that I no longer want to be part of this fandom.

(I have edited down this post a little since I first posted it, because I just don't want to be involved in any of this. I wanted it to be clear that I don't think this has to do with ships at all and I dont mind at all who people ship together. I also don't really want any of this to be seen, but I didn't want to just disappear.)

With the resurfacing of the ‘pliant bones’ garbage, the past few days have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. And that camel had been struggling. Holding itself together through sheer willpower. I’m surprised it lasted this long.

I am sure that most people in this fandom don't agree with the implications of this 'theory' but every time it resurfaces, it spreads in ways that make it impossible to avoid. It has become one of those cyclical shipwar debates, and ‘women with fertility issues’ are caught in the midst of it. Women who do exist and deserve better than this discourse. It is, in fact, more common than some might think to either struggle with fertility or not be able to have children at all.

I joined this fandom excited about Elriel. I never thought that excitement would turn into being constantly reminded of one of my life’s biggest pains. I never thought I’d have to filter the words ‘womb,’ ‘children,’ ‘pelvis,’ just to be part of the ACOTAR fandom. Because I could never have imagined a scenario where a couple that want each other being separated due to perceived fertility issues would be considered part of the basis of romance between another pair.

It’s the foundation of tragedy.

Even if one does not struggle with this oneself, it should be possible to imagine the pain of not being able to have children with the one you love. But people throw this argument around like they’re discussing the weather. Over a fictional ship! For some people, this is not just a hypothetical. It isn’t just an abstract concept. It isn't a dainty little literary device. It is a reality, and it is damn hard pill to swallow. In many cultures, the ability to have children is considered the very essence of womanhood, making the inability to do so an existentially painful reality to come to terms with.

I’m leaving. I don’t know if I’ll come back. Maybe if the hostilities die down, I will. I wanted to have fun alongside others who love Elriel and the other characters. I wanted to anticipate Elain’s book together. And I have had fun, but at a cost I’m no longer willing to pay.

To those who stay and continue creating—writing fics, poetry, theories, headcanons, and doing art—you’re the ones actually fighting the good fight, trying to make this space fun. Those who ride at dawn for the fics and the art. I tried to do the same. Five months was all I could manage. Now, I surrender. I’m no Elain. I’m not a rose in a mud field. I’m a miserable twig drowning in the dirt, who just wanted some goddamn memes and joy in life.

So, I’m going back to my peaceful offline existence. Enjoying my ACOTAR memes and inside jokes with my fiancé.

I’m going back to peace and quiet.

(Sorry for ranting)

[miijiu]

Hello, sorry for the long text and for using English, my Chinese isn't good enough to write to you properly.

I wanted to thank you for always writing your thoughts about Silvaze ⚪🟣 and expressing your reasoning and/or passion behind the two. My favourite Sonic game story has always been 06, but the difficulty in finding others who also find love in the story due to the memes and universal hate (which I believe to be from of the lack of understanding of the themes and narrative) makes it rather lonely.

I'm glad to hear you share the same thoughts that ⚪ is essentially a "shonen protagonist" as he's the one who wants to become a hero for others (versus 🔵 who fights for what he likes, and ⚫ who fights against what he dislikes). ⚪ Thinks about the morality of it all; one of my favourite things is that... He didn't hesitate in killing 🔵 at first, even mocking 🔵, yet when 🌹 protects 🔵...!! Because ⚪ spent time with 🌹, he re-evaluates the situation and wonders if it's the right thing to do! His earnesty and kind-heart is what separates him from 🟣!! Where 🟣 says "you're so naive" (I do think it's better if it was localised as "you're too soft" due to the double meaning of naive...) as 🟣 believes they cannot miss their chance to change the future. I love how ⚪🟣's obligations ties them together yet their differences still show... And that's what 🟣 likes about ⚪: his kind heart. Even in the end when 🟣 sacrifices herself, I find it interesting the English doesn't seem to have this line: "you should be prepared to make sacrifices", where it highlights ⚪🟣's differences; 🟣 is willing to go to the extremes, and ⚪ believes there's always another way, a kinder way, a better solution where everyone can win. It's why ⚪ is hope.

... Sorry, I ended up rambling unnecessarily.

I'm just very thankful you express such love for 06 and the writing, and also bring your understanding of the characters to light as it helps people like me realise we're not alone in this thinking. It must be difficult to express these thoughts publicly as the cultural difference and fanon skews the representation largely causing discourse or arguments which are entirely biased, yet you preserve and persist, and you create and share, thank you so so much 🤍💜

This means so much.

I dont answer to tumblr questions in general. but your words r really heartwarming and I hope you dont mind me sharing.

I relates to what u said. some of ur wording and understandings even capture the very essense of their characterazations that I found difficult to express.

I rlly like how you interpret the 🦔"naivety" as "kindness". I think that works enough to convey the subtext of the original language, and showing Silver's character arc in 06.

Thank you so much.🙏🤍💜