#i drafted a whole post because i was way too insane

[sheila--e]

Sheila E would make the best addition to the games and I'm not joking about that. only half saying this because she's my fave

[lovetei]

Okay, this have been on my mind for a while now…

So! MC in the manga is a sheep (get turn into a sheep because they aren’t familiar with the magic? Idk). I was just wondering that at the end of the exchange programme how would the boys react to Mc’s “true form”

This is such an interesting thing to write 🖤

By the way, this is another request stuck in my drafts, I promise I'll try to make up for it and post more :')

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Their reaction to Sheep MC changing into their human form at the end of the exchange program

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, no proofreading, wrong grammar, spelling errors, kind of long

Versions: Demon brothers, Side Characters

Links: Masterlist

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LUCIFER

It was the end of the exchange program and he's seeing you off

A large portal behind your back

For you, it might be the portal that will lead you to the freedom and whatever normality this program took away from you for a whole year

The portal that you've been waiting for

But for him, it's nothing but a spiral of magic that takes away the only comfort he has

The comfort that he seek for

And his twisted heart aches whenever he remembers it

But he hides it off with a smile and a wave

He waved at you one last time before you turned around

"Uhm... I feel weird-"

What?

The extreme feeling of despair left his body for a second and was covered with confusion

That soon turned into worry as your sheep form completely fell to the ground

The noises you're making is not normal and they're all panicking because they've never heard of it before

And the fact that you started glowing didn't ease their mind.

Could it be that some higher demon planted some spell inside of you?

IS THAT SPELL SUCCESFUL?!-

MC..?

He looked at you shock

No, more like-

He looked at your new form, shocked.

The way your naked body is laying on the ground right in front of him...

Right in front of them..?

He can't help but sigh and thought that, everything would have been fine, perfect even, if you turned into this form in front of him

But no, you just have to turn into your original self in front of everyone

Now he can't even embrace you.

All he did was take his coat off and throw it to your body as his face flush red.

You turned around to look at them as you clutch his coat with that adorable expression before you run off and enter the portal

He's left there, shocked and speechless

He didn't know what the hell just happened

But what's he's sure of is that he's going to get you back

And you're going to show that expression to him one more time

But that time, it will just be the two of you, alone.

MAMMON

This man is bawling his eyes out

His original plan is to watch you leave as he cries and once you're gone he will walk it off like a real man, with tear stains of course.

He set his mind to it, gambling for the whole week after you leave so that he can forget you

Even for just a moment

But no,

You won't even let him have the peace of mind

Or leave him with a nice memory

Instead your sheep body dropped to ground and made everyone think that you're about to die!

But you know what more you did?

You turned into a human!

Your human form!

Naked!

He went from 😭 -> 🤨 -> 😮 -> 😭 -> 😳 in a mere minute

He just stood there with a flushed face

A blushing dumbass who don't know what to do but watch as Lucifer threw his coat on you

And watch you run away with that cute expression, embarrassed expression on your face.

Gosh

You drive him insane

Now he's all fired up, willing to destroy the mortal world just to get you back in his arms.

LEVIATHAN

This one too is bawling his eyes out

While holding his camera of course

He's filming every part of this

He's standing there like "WAHHH MCCC! W-Wait is the angle r-right..? I need to capture how b-beautiful MC is..." while sobbing words out.

His hands are holding the camera shakily but the movement suddenly stopped when you said you feel weird...

His eyes shot open and his tears stopped

Are you okay..?

. . .

He's malfunctioning the moment you dropped to the ground and started to glow

And he malfunctioned even more when you turned into your human born, as naked as the moment you were born.

Now his sniper instincts came in and the camera is as focused as a laser

He's staring at you wide eyed, face as red as a tomato and his mouth agape

He doesn't know what's happening

But what he's sure of is that he needs to film it

Everything

The moment you grabbed Lucifer's coat and hugged it to cover yourself

And the moment you stood up and looked at them with that cute expression

But the moment you left, he hid the camera

This film is for his eyes only...

He's gonna need this for a 'project'...

And you know what else he needs?

Tissues.

SATAN

He's smiling everything off as he watches you leave

But you know deep down some anger is boiling

Considering how hot his pact mark is getting

Because, why do you have to leave..? Did he fail to satisfy your standards..?

He can't help but roll his eyes internally

But in the middle of his self talk, you spoke

"I kind of... Feel weird-"

And then you dropped to the ground and he's suddenly panicking

Any other feeling except for confusion flushed out of his body

He ran up to you immidiately but the light dimmed down and your naked body lay before him

He can't help stop in his tracks and just look at you and blush

Before he can even register anything, Lucifer's coat is already hugging your body

Which causes another wave of wrath to hit him

He just glared at Lucifer and saw that he's not even paying attention to him

He's looking at you

With a foreign expression in his face

So he also looked at you and...

Why the fuck did you have to look so majestic..?

You met his gaze and your face flushed before you ran out and entered the portal

He just remained still

Looking at the ground where you once sat

He can't move, he's shaking so much...

He feels like he's about to explode...

ASMODEUS

"WAHHH MCCC!" He whined out as he openly sobbed

He loves you so much!

Just why do you have to leave him!

He can't help but pout at you as you say your final goodbye

But what about him?

Why do you have to leave him too!

I mean it's understandable that you want to leave them because they're all such nuisances to you why him?!

He can't help it-

What do you mean you're feeling weird?

He's slowly walking to your direction

But you started to glow..?

Suddenly he's bearing his teeth expecting enemies around

Oh wait...

Oh...

You're...

Naked...

His mind is scrambled

He completely stopped working

And he'll probably be out of service for the next few days.

BEELZEBUB

He's probably standing there with Belphie in his arms

He's giving you his infamous puppy smile hoping that you'll give him what he wants

Hoping that you'll fall for it like the usual and ran up to him an dsay he's cute instead of leaving

But there's a part in his heart that knows you won't

He's sad and happy at the same time

He's happy because you'll finally live the way you do back then

But he's sad because you have to leave to do so...

Huh?

You're feeling weird..?

You're glowing, MC!

He's shaking Belphegor awake now

What's happening to you-

. . .

He'll be one of the most respectful and cover his eyes

But he's secretly peaking through the gaps

Your flushed face...

Looks so cute...

You look...

You looked delicious...

Just enough to eat...

Now he's hungry.

Hungry for something... New?

Something that includes you.

BELPHEGOR

He's awake actually

He watched everyone, he heard everyone gave their final speeches to you

But when you were about to leave

He forcefully shut his eyes and leaned on Beel

Hoping that his sin would take over and he fell into some deep slumber

But why of all times... Why isn't it cooperating..?

His brows are furrowed as he forces himself to sleep

But suddenly everyone dropped silent...

So you finally left?

Wha- why is Beel shaking him?-

MC?!

Why the fuck are you glowing now?!

No no no...

Is it the work of some demon?!

Who-

. . .

You're... Naked...

In front of everyone...

Haha...

Beel better hold him back or else he's about to run after you and do what his brothers can't

But he knows you won't like that.

So he clinged to Beel-

Haha...

Why do you look like that?!

That's his last thought before he ran and almost caught you but the portal closed

Immidiately.

"Hmm... What a shame~"

He'll make sure he'll catch you next time.

[mayordea]

Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖

~from her biggest fans :)

ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋

This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT

I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.

This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.

~~~

Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!

Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.

Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭

Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).

Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!

Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭

That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!

I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...

not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.

[lexirosewrites]

it’s my two year Steddie-versary today?!!!

(which means I’m gonna ramble emotionally for a little bit)💛

I’m not really sure how to fully describe the last two years of my life and my involvement in the steddie fandom, but I’ll try!

I remember watching season four of ST and really liking Eddie, thinking he was so cool. I’d always liked Steve, but putting them together was a whole different story. And then I recall seeing fanart, finding a couple fics here and there.

I wasn’t aware how deep I’d gotten until I was drafting a fic of my own, eager to join the fun any way that I could. It had been years since I’d written anything of my own, but I was lonely and bored enough to try.

I drafted my first fic “All Through The Night” for a month.

I wrote it. Rewrote it. Edited it. Doubted whether it should stay in the drafts. Finally, I just hit post.

From there, it kept going. I’d write a few non-omegaverse fics based on TikTok prompts. Then, I’d end up delving into the omegaverse trope in a way I never had before.

I started to remember how much I enjoyed writing and I found a community that was kind to me. I made friends in the AO3 comments of all places!

It was a few months before I joined ST twitter in December of 2022, but I was encouraged to hang out and make more friends.

(I don’t need to rehash the bad parts of my experience because I think we’re all pretty aware of what happened. But I don’t want those things to define me or spoil all the good that’s come from this fandom either. Bullies don’t get to take this from me.

I wasn’t super active on Tumblr prior to my Twitter leave because I didn’t really understand the app😅 we figured it out eventually and I am so grateful to have been welcomed here when I was feeling so low.)

I figured out a lot about myself in this fandom! I identified as a cis, bi-questioning woman when I started writing!! That’s insane to me now!

But I found a place to explore and meet other queer people and ask questions that I would’ve never asked!

I was leading worship at a mega church when I posted my first fic. I was freshly separated from my ex-husband and still hurting immensely. I was working through a pandemic as a nurse and hating my life. I didn’t have much that brought me joy anymore.

This silly gay ship probably saved my life…

And I know I’ve been semi-MIA as far as posting to AO3 the last several months, but I have no intentions of leaving this fandom anytime soon. I will not abandon my fics or disappear. I just need a little bit of a break because I burnt myself out on writing for a year and a half!

God this post went way too long. Oops.

Okay! In summary! Today is my two year Steddie-versary and I love you all!!! I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made and the support I’ve had to share my stories.

(also tbh I cannot believe I tricked this many of you into reading mpreg)

[velvetvexations]

Can confirm I've been on here for years now and before Gamer Gate and then the rebirth of Terfism happened the widely accepted feminist talking point was that men suffer under the patriarchy and how we need to talk about that because one of the fastest ways to get cis men on our side was to show them we were already on their side!

I remeber posts with hundreds of thousands of notes talking about how men are assumed to be worse caregivers than women to the point that in custody battles even if the mother is beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst abusive mess ever and the dad is the embodiment of a perfect parent the kids will end up with the mom. It doesn't even matter if the dad says he wants the kids and the mom says she doesn't, the women still gets assumed to be the better caretaker!! This is misogyny effecting men!!

And I know MRAs are terrible but I remember a video going around talking about their recruitment points, like how more men die doing dangerous jobs and the draft or men getting no help when they've been abused by women and being assumed to be violent predators even when they haven't done anything and like yeah, they 100% came to the wrong conclusions about what causes the problems and what the solutions are bcs it's easier to act like women are the problem, but those problems as they were introduced in the early 2010s were actual problems feminism is trying to address, and if these men could see that we are fighting the same fights and join US we'd be stronger. There was a prominent internet feminist who got full on red pilled just by listening to men tell her about their real actual problems, and the time they pulled the rug out on blaming women it was too late, she was convinced, because yeah women aren't the real problem at the root of men's issues they do HAVE ISSUES. The trick is that they just need to tackle the patriarchy, not women. I also saw stuff that legit talked about how to recruit men by pointing out how badly the patriarchy "serves" them!! (GamerGate quickly ruined any and all salient points that existed in the MRA movement bcs the internet is a feedback loop and anger is easy/fun sadly but yeah I feel like it's weird to act like they were always wrong no matter what when they at least did point out real problems.)

And like RBG partially made her name in the courts defending a CIS MAN on the basis that he was being discriminated in a way a CIS WOMAN would not have been, and the ruling allowed for insane amounts of progress for women. A man not being allowed a tax credit to hire a nurse for his bedridden mother is one of the first things that challenged discrimination on the basis of sex in America. But sure men ONLY gain benefits from the patriarchy. It NEVER hurts them too!! And helping them won't benefit us!!! Making them our allies is silly they should all shut up 🙄

Hell back in the 2010s I still remember seeing trans men talk about how horrible and alienating it was for all of their female friends and family to suddenly start acting like they were a threat, and not just pointing out the inherent transphobia, the guy went on to talk about that they finally get why cis men are the way they are, they suffer from systemic emotional neglect. And yeah that obviously does not mean women owe them emotional avaliablity and sex, but maybe the patriarchy telling men to be big tuff guys who never hug or cry or like anything even a little girly HURTS THEM and is a direct cause of a LOT of the problems we're dealing with rn!!! There was a whole study about how widows tend to live a lot longer after their husbands because they have friends and family to lean on and weren't taught to suppress their emotions, meanwhile widowers tend to die VERY quickly after their wives because they no longer have someone who it's okay for them to be open and emotional around, and not having someone you can do that with KILLS PEOPLE. People were saying again, this does not mean women HAVE to take on all their problems, but maybe that we need to stop assuming men don't need emotional support and teach our sons to not be afraid of being ulnerable, honest people because systemic emotional neglect IS BAD FOR YOU ACTUALLY.

These were ACTUAL conversations that swept this damn site. This was the direction feminism was going in. We were on the cusp of a beautiful age of 4th wave feminism with the knowledge that the patriarchy seves no one well and free the nipple and no gender segregated bathrooms and sports, and now just pointing out that we need to maybe understand the ways men struggle under the patriarchy if we've ever going to have them join and help us build a better world gets my inbox flooded with both terfs and so called progressive feminists calling me a gender traitor for being willing to admit men arent the source of all the world's ills and WE NEED THEM ON OUR FUCKING SIDE. I used to proudly call myself a 4th wave feminist back when people still claimed to be of the 3rd, and now idk what I even am. A bell hooks and leslie finberg feminist I guess, since they actually seemed to get it.

Yeesh. Anyway sorry that got heated. This has just ruined my brain. I do not understand where tf we went wrong, bcs hell back in the day we also pointed out how TERFs were wrong to want men and people they perceive as men and those "tainted" by men put to death for existing so they could build their stupid white supremacist wombyn utopia. We KNEW hating men just for being men was wrong and regressive and hurt maringalized men and did NOTHONG to push feminism forward. We talked about the issues that men face and how to raise our sons to be better. But idk I guess Gamer Gate and the Incel movement took off right as TREFs figured out the whole ace and truscum discourse thing wasn't working and they just needed to doctor their arguments against men better and radical feminism took off and this entire site regressed 1000 years and thinks trans men of all people are just as bad as cis men and trans women have a monopoly on an entire axis of oppression like?????

And I'm not putting the blame squarely on anyone aside from the radfems who started this shit but it does NOT surprise me that we are seeing a massive resurgence of biphobic, transmedicalism, and aphobia since half the queer discourse I see these days is anti-transandrophpbia assholes just word for word repeating the kind of blatant aphobia and truscumery that would have gotten you suplexed off the face of the earth in the 2010s with the identities swapped. Just word for word monosexist aphobic shit. Legit is giving me flashbacks, it's insane.

I have never in my life been more disappointed in my community of queer feminists. This is masks all over again. Like is this how kids who grew up evangelical feel when they realized actually the adults didn't mean literally love all your neighbors silly just the Correct ones?? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. What the hell happened to us.

Thank you for writing all this anon, you put enough work in it I'm gonna toss it in the tags, I think it deserves to be seen. <3

The problem with MRAs was never that they believed men had problems too, but that they used certain things - like their disadvantage in custody hearings, for instance - as a cudgel in a malicious crusade against a target they hated anyway for not fucking them. Now with as quick as people are to say things like "what, are you saying androphobia exists too?????" it feels as though we've completely forgotten the actual reason we ever hated MRAs to begin with.

It's the same with the dating article where the most basic possible interactions between two adults mutually seeking a hook-up were taken to be pick-up artistry.

[shinjisdone]

Yandere Thorfinn And The Things He Does (For You)

In which you have joined Askeladd’s band…and grow closer to the Son of Thors. However, it seems like this was a mistake...for your bond might get twisted.

[Headcanons of how it would be like to crawl your way into Yandere Thorfinn’s heart (based on season 1;]

@luopenis , @jinsecho , @mitsureigen @theknightssecrets

This t h I n g has been rotting in my drafts since JUNE

This is honestly just a uh Yandere version of the 5.1 and 5.2 HTSAWH posts 😬 the insane potential Thorfinn as a Yandere has in S1 and S2 got me in a chokehold.

I started it, got writer's block and then wanted to finish the S1 HTSAWH series first cause this one just goes at it. It devours.

So...

Remember when I started with 'Thorfinn won't ever admit anything?' That still rings true.

However, this time it seems like he knows what he is feeling. It feels like an aching softness he feels whenever he sees you, a warmth that almost burns him and spreads out from his heart. Longing that twists and turns like a mad snake.

These butterflies and the beating of his heart are as clear the shine of the sun and the cold of snow. He can feel it, physically feel it pumping through his body at the mere thought of you.

He cannot explain it nor knows when it started but he doesn't mind either way. Far from it.

He is young and stubborn. A side of him doesn't want to accept such mushy emotions but he has no strength nor will power to even attempt at fighting it all back. He is still boyish, still inexperienced and it all feels so good. He wants to let his heart give in.

The blonde is good at masking it though. Mostly because his life is so hectic that he never really gets the chance to indulge in anything, lest his feelings and inclinations.

I can still imagine him acting non-affectionate with you. Dragging, pushing and pulling. Though his touch is akin to velvet gloves and he tends to touch you far, far, far too much and a whole lot more.

The pushes are there but brief with his hand on your back - and once he gently shoves you, his hand is right back where it orginally was. Broad and warm palm pressed against your skin for support.

Dragging you because you talked too long to someone else? Of course. Taking you elsewhere since your eyes seem to wander to something else? Sure. Simply wanting you to be somewhere else with no one but Thorfinn? Why, yes.

While doing so he often gets the urge to have his hold slip down from your wrist to your hand and firmly hold it. He wants your fingers to clasp around his hand and hold it. Hold his hand. He bets yours is warm.

Though he is too embarrased to do so...and he won't have an answer or comeback if you question him on the sudden change of behaviour.

Pulling? What he pulls he wants to pull on your heart strings like you do his is usually you closer to him for safety or warmth. Wrapping an arm around you and pressing you to his side, either for others to get the message that you are NOT to be attacked or to keep warm in the cold mornings. He doesn't mind either way and it is one of the many things he likes to do most. It's warm and comfortable, makes his heart sing to have you this close, it makes him feel like a protector and that you belong together. Neither of you need anyone else. It's you and Thorfinn against the world.

He is scarce with his words when he initiates any kind of physical contact but his touch is gentler than a mother's.

He still likes to pull on your hair, briefly though and just to annoy you.

Thorfinn likes your hair...he pulls on it to annoy you but also to just feel it for a second at least.

Signs of affection or intimacy coming from you is different however.

The one thing that makes Thorfinn spiral down into his lovesickness and hits him with a tsunami of realization of his feelings for you is when you smile.

Your lives aren't easy being part of Askeladd's band. The fighting, the killing, the surviving, the cruelty and mockery of Askeladd and his men - it gives no one a reason to be even joyful for a moment, really. He knows he doesn't. The only reason he can find himself smiling for is you.

So it almost is akin to a miracle when your eyes crinkle and the corners of your mouth go up so naturally because it is so rare. When your grin already rivals the sun and you accompany it with laughter? It's like Thorfinn is transported to a different life entirely.

A life where you two share joy. Where it is only you two.

99% of the time you are smiling because of him since the young man is the only one you really have, at least as a source of companionship, kindness and comfort.

And 99% of the time when you smile you are looking straight at him.

He caught his breath and right there is the realization of his feelings. Of the fact that the cold and brooding viking boy has normal feelings, feelings for someone, and they are this deep and sweet too.

His heart is trying to rip out his chest and the sight of you makes him feel so special. He can make you feel this way, can make you happy even if it is for a moment. No one but him should see it.

At the same time he is blown away by your smile's beauty. He can't remember the last time he ever saw someone smile (it was a long time ago, 11 years) and he never knew a smile could look this stunning. But then, he comes to realize, it is only stunning because it belongs to you.

He freezes up as if you had stabbed him. You grow concerned, asking what's wrong before he avoids your gaze and turns away a few moments later. The young man still needs to digest your words, laughter and smile before a small one appears on his face. It was nice...

But when he turns around, your smile is gone already. Of course you won't be standing there grinning like an idiot, especially after Thorfinn weirdly zoned out there. It deflates him a bit and only makes him more determined to make you smile each time he sees you like that.

You're beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...

And when you say or do something affectionate? Thorfinn dies.

Again, he freezes up like a cat before really getting used to it. Even when your touches have a logical reason behind them (fingers grazing over his skin while checking for injuries), the blonde melts anyway. Its...foreign and different and so, so soothing. He likes it quite a bit but won't ever admit so.

In fact, once gets really used to it and your soft touch becomes a routine, Thorfinn really leans into it. Closing his eyes and letting out such a tired sigh as if he had been holding it for months. It's therapeutic for him, really, almost like a release of all tensions. Nothing but you wander his mind and soul right now in moments like these.

When you usher him to wake up by tapping his face he sometimes pretends to be still asleep just so you'd touch him more. When you come closer to his face and speak louder with your breath fawning over his lips...his heart picks up and before an excited smile overcomes him, the lad 'wakes up' (and annoyingly tells you to be quiet. Partly not to blow his cover but also to joke).

The moment your fingers glide over his palm as he leads you elsewhere OMG OMG OMG. As if you want to hold his hand...while Thorfinn gazes ahead with stern eyes he is waiting with bated breath on your next move only to feel the disappointment grow when you aren't reaching out to hold his hand. He blushes profusely at the realization, feeling embarassed.

When out camping, you can be sure Thorfinn will not let you out of his sight ONCE. Especially after Askeladd's attempt at killing you, the thought of leaving you alone would not cross his mind once (even if Askeladd's stunt didn't happen).

Sitting on opposite ends makes more sense to watch you but he quickly finds out that he much rather prefers to be as close to you as possible (what a great opportunity to wrap his arm around you to keep you warm at the fire place). Nevertheless his stare seems stern and dark as he watches and listens like a guard dog. What matters most is your safety, that's something he knew from the very start, whether he was lovesick before or not.

Might end up staying up all night keeping you safe. Watches you often just to see the rise of your chest as you sleep peacefully. It makes him calm and slightly proud as he's doing a good job so far.

During the night he keeps checking if you are sweating, too hot/too cold. Will take off his own cloak and wrap it around you/off you when needed.

There are nights where he just stares at you with an unreadable gaze. His body is moving on his own, it's as if there are no thoughts in his head and he's just following instincts. His fingers graze your cheek and brush your hair out of your face. It's fascinating to watch you like this.

You aren't glaring, frowning or smiling. All of your muscles are relaxed as you sleep peacefully as if nothing in this world could hurt you (Thorfinn couldn't and wouldn't let that happen). The blonde leans further down to get a closer look and will just...stay like this, watching. Watching your chest rise, how your breath leaves your parted lips, how the light of the fire engulfs your form.

It's...enchanting. That's the only word he can find that fits what he's feeling.

Whatever you two decide to do, Thorfinn will wordlessly be deciding to be joined at the hip even if you don't need him or suggest to split up. "No." He bluntly tells you as he glares but his eyes are soft as he does. His tone is not, however.

It's simply out of the question. He can be as loving as he wants to be but the viking will NEVER EVER leave you alone, or leave you entirely. No, you are far too important, far too precious.

He doesn't let you leave either. When he trains, he doesn't let you stray far. When he eats, sleeps and kills, you are to be close. Even in his many duels with Askeladd does he want you to be in the first row to watch him, watch him win (he never does but is stubborn enough to delude himself into believing it).

Whenever you decide that you are not needed in this situation/activity and attempt to leave, Thorfinn will call out and stop you. "Where are you going? Stay here." He's blunt and gives no explanation on why except by broadly mentioning possible dangers and that there is nothing out there to go to anyway. Where are you going in this dense, lonely forest? If anything, you're just gonna get attacked by a boar. Stay here with him or let him come with you. These are always your only two options.

Bathing is a necessetiy but usually not for Thorfinn. He'll gladly drop everything if you want to go bathe so that he can keep watch for you and your belongings. However, the young man usually ends up bathing too once you convince him.

Take all the time that you need, Thorfinn is ready to keep guard until dusk if necessary. He'd stay still like a statue with the eyes of a hawk for any potential dangers. Your belongings are right there at his feet.

Now, this can be easy to misunderstand hence why Thorfinn never lets himself be caught...but he takes glimpses of you while you bathe. Not for perverted reasons but because he...simply wants to. A lot of the rather quiet things he does for you and to you are most of the time always something akin to instincts. Thorfinn is fond of you, very much so, which is why his hand is reaching for yours on its own. It's the reason why he shoves you behind him during battle, why he seems to want to caress your hair, why he almost automatically always sits near you and why he wants to watch you bathe. He doesn't even really know what this is and if they can really be called 'instincts'...but he doesn't mind it and doesn't question it. It feels right.

Your face is beautiful. Your smile is beautiful. Your hair is beautiful. Your eyes are beautiful. Your form is beautiful. So he wants to see your nude body because he is certain it is beautiful, too.

And he's right. You're beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...

This is never going to happen since he prioritizes your safety above all else and will always keep watch, but Thorfinn would like to bathe with you. Just once.

Again, not for any perverted reasons but because the intimacy would make it so special. Both of you don't trust anyone but each other so only you two could see each other like this. No one else.

No one else could wash your and his back, no one else would be able to see your beauty like Thorfinn can.

It's wish thinking, really, really wish thinking but he would love to embrace your nude body flush against his. The warmth of your naked skins against each other in the water with the sun shining down...the closeness, the intimacy, the warmth. It's a dream he is longing for even if he does so secretly.

The bond the two of you have is just this special. Nothing and no one could sever or replicate it. He really likes the feeling of the world being your enemy and you two being the other's only companion. Just you and him. You and him. You and him.

Grooming is done together as well.

Brushing his hair is...embarassing but it feels so good. His heart is pumping feeling you so close, your hands running through his hair, maybe you even hum or just talk...

It's embarassing...but it's so nice. Nice enough that he'll let you brush his hair more often, as well as cut it if you want.

Thorfinn would only do it when necessary though. Your touch is nice but goodness, it's not the only way he can melt and revel at your kindness. Brushing and cutting hair is just a way to enjoy your touch in a different way.

Will close his eyes, flush a bright red and usually ends up leaning against you in his sitting position. It's nice. Do continue and do whatever else you want, too. It just adds to the experience.

Though the blonde is a bit too flustered to talk back if you converse with him.

He'll gladly cut and brush your hair. Uses the opportunity to run his fingers through your hair again and again and again and again. The urge to do this just overtakes him and even if he looks very concentrated with his usual scowl, believe him that he is thoroughly enjoying this.

Tries bis best to cut your hair the way you want it to...but he's still not good at it. He learns with each session so give him time. Additionally, he very much likes to cut your hair with his dagger. It gives him a little boost, a sense of purpose that the weapon that already protects you now grooms your hair. Thorfinn's dagger, which belonged to his father, is protecting, helping and grooming you, doing everything for you - and in a way, Thorfinn is doing all of this since he is wielding the blade. Whenever he wields the dagger for you no matter for what reason, it gives him a boost of self-confidence as your protector - which he heavily sees himself as.

Yes, Thorfinn very much so sees himself as your protector, even if you don't agree. In fact, he won't care what you or others think, Thorfinn IS your protector. There is no doubt about in his mind.

When fighting, there are only three important things: Survival, holding up a deal to get a duel with Askeladd and your safety. You are the priority.

So the blonde won't care what he has to do, what he must endure or who has to die to keep you safe. Thorfinn utterly despises the fact that you are often on the battlefield and that Askeladd out of all people are ordering you to fight vexes him even more. You shouldn't be fighting. You shouldn't be any where near danger, you are supposed to be away in a safe place waiting for him. Waiting for your protector, your Thorfinn. (In his mind he belongs to you).

So he gets extra pissy and aggressive on the battlefield, shoving you behind him, shushing you when you disagree and yelling at you to stay away! No more fighting for you! He doesn't care what he has to do or how he has to convince Askeladd but you are not. Going. To fight. Anymore.

Due to the sudden aggessiveness and adrenaline, Thorfinn becomes a beast during fights. There is no mercy in his eyes nor heart as he slaughters one enemy after another, as if they were twigs he pushes away while running through a forest.

Anything can be a danger to you. You could die and that's a thought he cannot actually bear!

No. No, no, no, no, no. It won't happen. It won't happen. It won't happen.

Screaming like a banshee as these words are repeating in his head. He stabs and stabs and stabs and seems lost and drowning in his anger, in his fear and squashes it all down with sheer determination. As long as he can take a breath, there will not be a single hair on your head harmed.

In the aftermath, after making sure every single enemy is dead on the ground will Thorfinn run back to you. He is covered in blood and his hands are desperately tight on his two daggers just in case anything might happen. His eyes are wide as blood runs down his face, panting. Once he found you he has to abruptly stop before he might run into you.

The first thing he does is mumble your name as he slowly awakens from his bloodied trance and his eyes that seemed so glazed over now narrow. He screams at you that you weren't supposed to fight, that you shouldn't do it again. Don't ever get involved in a battle again, no matter what that bastard Askeladd tells you!

Thorfinn is not really angry at you but rather still emotional ober the possibility that you could have died. That's not something he can allow and still lost in his rather emotional state - in fact, the viking boy always follows his emotions and guts as if they were a guidepost - he yells at you. He needs some time to calm down again.

However, you are calling him out as well that he just charged in there and that you had to fight! You cannot just turn your back especially when Askeladd is the one who brought you into this situation! Screaming at you won't change anything!

The young man is stumped for a bit and calms gradually down. Finally the daggers are put away and he keeps on interrupting himself as he struggles to voice out his feelings. "You could've died." He bluntly lets out before adjusting his stance. His hands reach out to your arms. "Let me look at your wounds".

He's trying to avoid his own emotions - he's too overwhelmed and doesn't know how to express himself. First he was scared for your life, then screams at you, can only see red...but he should be paying attention to you. You are what matters.

But once you shake your head and tell him you have none because he charged into battle like a boar...he goes silent again. His hands get ahold of your arms finally and he's looking you up and down, from head to toe.

An eerie grin appears on his face.

"...Good. Good." He absent-mindedly nods and rubs your arm.

Good. This is very good.

Thorfinn protected you. You are unharmed because he suceeded in protecting you, just like how it should be. This is how it always should be.

You snap him out of his trance when pointing all the blood on him. Thorfinn is the one wounded, why is he not looking after himself?

Because you matter first - that is his very first thought but he doesn't say it. He can't...not yet.

Ushering him to let you look at his injuries, the blonde complies with that eerie grin again. He lets you do anything you deem necessary to him while staring either into space or at you with that eerie smile. He basks in your concern especially if you dote on him.

He likes this. This is how it always should be. Thorfinn won't let anything go near you, he will fight for you, kill those that have the gall and arrogance to do you harm (because they deserve it. Anyone who thinks they can do anything to you deserves to be killed by him and only him) and return to you, into your arms, as your protector. He doesn't mind the blood that taints his face, hands and soul nor the stabs and broken bones in his body so long you are safe. And not just 'safe'...but safe with Thorfinn, because of Thorfinn. He wants to be your sole protection and he already is. You don't need anyone else.

And now here he is lying down and gazing at your beautiful, worried face as you tend and dote on him. He'd rather be nowhere else but here.

And if you do somehow get injured? The perpatrator will be met with a beast.

If you got hurt there is a high chance Thorfinn will just see red. Screams like a banshee and goes for the perperator to finish them off again and again and again. He'll pant like a dog after the deed is done and would need to collect himself before his thought process goes from "getting rid of the threat" to "you are hurt".

His clothes heavy, dripping with blood he hurries to you and in moments of panic, tend to your injuries as fast as possible.

In his mind, the faster you are tended to, the better.

However, his movements are hectic. Thorfinn cannot stand the sight of you hurt and he just believes he must fix it. Fast.

It is akin to a fight-or-flight response. Your injured body is something that brings stress and panic, so he acts accordingly to it. As hectic as he is, it is just as painful to be treated by him but the blonde always manages to tend you right.

Only after your are treated can Thorfinn let out a sigh of relieve. He'll sit next to you, glancing every other second to make sure you are okay. He keeps an keen eye on you until you are better.

If the injury is severe, expect him to embrace and press you close to him. Eyes blown wide as he pressed your head close, not believing how close to death you were. He says nothing but attmepts to collect his thoughts, breathing heavily.

At the least, he will sit close and hold your hand. At most, he'll have you sit on his lap as his arms are protectively wrapped around you (or he shifts his legs so you'll sit on the ground). He...must have a grip on you after all this. He must.

Once the day slowly ends, and you two are fortunate enough to find a stable or any other shelter, you might find Thorfinn to be quite...clingy.

It's strange. There are instances where he is exhausted and just falls on a hill of hay with a thump. Though as he lays there and turns to your direction, he reaches out his arm.

It's an invitation that slowly turned into a demand for you to come close. Sit or lay down, it doesn't matter to him. What does matter is that you are close. Close enough for Thorfinn.

If there are other balls or hills of hay where you'd like to sleep, Thorfinn will "prohibit" it grumpily and tells you to come closer. Close enough that if something were to happen, he can easily reach out to you. Without getting up but by simply leaning and stretching his body.

It stems from his overprotectiveness but also for his need of comfort (which he'd never admit). Nightmares are his familiars and if - rather when - they plague him again and he awakens with a start - you'll be there. You, beautiful, beautiful you and he can easily reach out for you. Grab your wrist or hand, anything, and have your touch as comfort to fall back asleep again.

After all, when he wakes up, either through another nightmare or by the rays of the sun, he'll still have you in his grasp and you'll still be there. It comforts him. Makes him believe everything is going to be okay.

However, there is seldomly, seldomly, seldomly, seldomly a chance where he feels bold and excited and overconfident when he tells you to come even closer.

It's a stark contrast to the usual Thorfinn, for the Thorfinn that isn't lovesick. He'd never ask or be vocal about wanting to be close, about wanting you to be in his arms as you sleep. Its...shocking but not the first time he requested this.

Well, winter is here. The cold, biting wind creaking its way into the open stable and it only makes sense.

Being close in each others' warmth prevents you from freezing to death, it only makes sense.

It isn't the first time.

However, cuddling with him isn't as easy as he makes it out to be. Actually laying down and shooting closer with your arms around each other flusters Thorfinn immensely. He only gingerly places his hands on your back and seems to grunt quietly, eyes darting. Once you finally settled in and wrapped your own arms around him, does he go awfully silent.

He clears his throat, grunts and blinks, glancing around between you and anything else. Thorfinn is excited yet flustered, happy yet nervous. It was a mix of emotions whirling inside him and now that...he got what he wanted, he doesn't know what to do.

If his odd behavior concerns you, you could let out a soft 'is this okay?'

The blonde's breath hitches - then he hesitates. A moment later, he nods in a way that you almost reckon to be timid but surely not Thorfinn?

While cuddling, Thorfinn will surely stare at you. Stare at your face with an unblinking gaze. He'd do so while you sleep and while you are awake.

You can tell him how uncomfortable it makes you which he'll reply to with the quietest 'right' and 'sorry'. Nevertheless, he'd continue to do so anyhow as long as you dont notice.

You're just...nice. So nice to look at. He rarely gets to see you so close in a place and time where everything is so peaceful.

Alone in the hay, inside a barn. At night where there are no marches or sails, where he musn't kill anyone to get a duel with Askeladd, where there are no bandmates with their vile behavior. Only you and him and the quiet.

It's where he can be...anything. A sense of belonging and freedom that is so exciting.

He can just look at you.

If you are female, Thorfinn would definitely be more flustered.

Women aren't often seen in the band and the young viking definitely never had been so close to one before. Having your body so close is...nerve-wrecking. But he likes it.

Thorfinn would generally try - keyword try - to somehow snuggle into you. The mere thought makes his heart pound even of he doesn't understand why. He slightly pulls you closer by the hands on your back and awkwardly tilt his head to be rested on your shoulder. Or head. Or chest.

It is daunting but he wants it.

Since there is definitely trust between the two of you, you'd at least snuggle once. Laying the head on the shoulder, head to head, to the chest...

If you initiate it, Thorfinn would freeze up but be glad for you can't see the exciting grin spreading on his face. It would encourage him to press you as close to him as possible.

If Thorfinn initiates it, it is very sublte, bashful until he fully and willingly tries to mold into your body. Inhaling your scent (even if you stink) and eerily grinning at the intimacy. It's new and peaceful and calm. So good, so good and not violent. Not grueling, not resulting into any bruises and broken bones. It's a world where only you and him reside. Only you and him.

He wishes nights like these are forever.

It's become less about keeping each other warm - it is the very instances where Thorfinn can indulge in his desires and feelings, his inclinations.

And each time you grow so close in each other's arms, does his willingness to indulge grow.

[elsecrytt]

gojo only ever being needed and not wanted broke my hearttt noooo. i just love gojo x mundanity so so much. all he wants in life is a quiet peaceful life with someone who just sees him without his six eyes. there will always be something so bittersweet about that mostly cuz he'll never allow himself to have that life completely:/

i've seen that one post going around that's like "“if i cannot be wanted, i will be needed and if i cannot be needed, let me be used until there’s nothing left of me” and although i don't think gojo is actually that self-sacrificing, i do see a bit of him in there.

like, we know for sure he treasures "youth" and in particular his own "youth" very deeply. we see the s2 opening with him in high school with geto and the other students, doing just regular things, looking genuinely happy and having tons of fun.

gojo used to smile and laugh with people. people who were his peers. and maybe that was mostly possible because they were peers then, instead of him being the pinnacle of sorcerer society. when kenjaku shows up he gets a minute-long internal flashback of all those old times. it meant a lot to him.

on the other hand, though, gojo is absolutely a bit of a bully deep down. he was still a jerk sometimes in high school (though he DID have a good heart - hence the thing with riko) and he clearly has fun when he's fighting curses lol. he takes a lot of joy in his power, and why wouldn't he? it's kinda all he's got going for him. self-fulfilling prophecy and all.

ngl a bunch of the lines in that piece came from this yandere!gojo wip that's still in the drafts. basically gojo wants a non-sorcerer to play house with and he's ecstatic about this whole "relationship building" thing. he has no hobbies bc everything is easy for him, but his personality - and the circumstances - make winning your love an actual challenge that he can have fun with.

but internally his logic is actually kinda sad and understandable. gojo is worried he'll go insane like geto did. lose all sympathy for regular people, and for other sorcerers, too - maybe his own students.

and if gojo loses it, who's going to stop him?

if gojo loses it, and gives up on humanity like geto did, then what was the point of killing geto in the first place?

that can't happen if he has a non-sorcerer lover. and honestly? i do think gojo genuinely does like people, in the general sense. he likes getting specialty sweets and playing baseball. he takes his students out for meals. the memories we see of his youth? him in the arcade, walking home from school, eating out with his friends.

i think he likes ordinary, mundane things a lot, even if he loves the other parts of his life. he probably loves bugging baristas and fast food employees and passerbys in his life. he is lonely at the top, but with regular people, he can pretend he isn't.

it's tragic, but in a way, it's also an issue of his own making. i don't buy gojo's whole "you can admire a blooming flower, but you can't ask it to understand you" crap. gojo, loneliness and isolation are a part of the human condition. you are NOT the first or only person who feels this way. i'm optimistic that he could get through it if he tried... if gege didn't have it out for him LMAO

[shizunitis]

Luo Binghe: Original Drafts Edition! Who and why?

“[…] in fact, in his original outline, Bing-gē hadn’t even had a romance plotline; he had been doomed to fade away, alone and unaging forever.” — The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, Vol. 4 (Mo Xiang Tong Xiu)

The drafts version of Binghe! Not Bing-gē, nor Bing-mei, but a secret, third thing! (I’m partial to Bing-xióng (兄) myself, just for thematic cohesion. Bing-mei remains as he is: Shizun’s special glass-heart maiden.)

So! Who is this elusive, mythical Binghe we never got the chance to meet? What is he? How do I get to pick this one’s brains?

Why is he haunting me! What does he want! So much to think about.

Listen: I love my trash sons, both the racoon and wet dog variations, but I am curious about this handsome demon lord who did not bed thousands, and did not steal his shizun to lovingly coax him into a loving and respectful marriage. Alas, Airplane-bro, as is custom, has left me hanging.

The solitary quote above has been floating around my brainspace for months. Intermittently, I would look up at the sky and sigh a big sad dog sigh, and think of this lonely demon-man emperor who seems to be both perfectly representative of No-Shizunitis Suffering Binghe, and on the exact opposite end of the line. I have spent many a night trying to rearrange the blocks of both SVSSS and PIDW like a sad toddler with no plan but plenty of amorphous longing.

Thus, Bing-xiong. My beloved new toy.

We know he is left alone and unaging. This means that:

He does not marry even once. (Sorry, Other Bing Variants. This one came broken.)

He is not defeated, killed, or left to suffer his not-father’s fate of sulking under a mountain.

From 1) we can assume two more things! Xin Mo either gets fixed/doesn’t influence this Binghe the same way, or: Xin Mo is completely written off à la Airplane Retconning, making Binghe potentially even more individually powerful than his younger counterparts.

(Or he just. Takes people’s cultivation ad-infinitum. Interesting thought, but too straight-forward for my tastes. Airplane’s thoughts? Unknowable.)

From 2) we can also assume Binghe cannot die, is under the influence of the Protagonist Halo unto infinity, and will only be put out of his misery once the heat death of the universe deems it a worthwhile endeavour. Either that or the story ends, but. It tickles a miserable part of my brain pink to think Binghe will not be let off even then.

Anyway. Bing-xiong, of course, has the same source material to work off of. Up until the Abyss, and including it, the plotline should be if not the same, adjacent enough to be indistinguishable.

However. This means:

Bing-xiong never got coerced into sex by Qin Wanyue, thus not starting him on the path of sex-dependency/addiction, avoiding Bing-gē’s fate by virtue of the Butterfly Effect. (Read this post because it explains Bing-ge's whole thing better than a lot of things I've seen.)

Again, Xin Mo implications.

Alternate Universe Shenanigans make an appearance. (Shen Jiu’s fever and death was actually meant to happen, Bing-ge just got very, very unlucky and his Universe’s Yue Qingyuan very, very lucky. For a few years. Either that or there is a Shen Yuan for every Binghe! Again: sorry, Bing-ge. You need to find your own. Middle child issues…)

Once the drafts/original outline got lost, all bets are off and now the characters become real people, without narrative influence. This also has the very fucked up implication that Bing-ge is actually a result of exclusively external forces and would have never gone down that path if not forced onto it by Airplane’s unwitting hands. I do and do not love this version. Very Mo Ran-esque, if looked at from afar and squinting.

Other options I’m either too not-high to think, or too high to put together. (Cold medicine is insane?)

I am fascinated by this… Schrödinger’s Binghe. A jaded, lonely emperor left in the ashes of his world, gazing upon his own history and finding fucking nothing and no one. Metaphorically and, like, practically, if I’m understanding Airplane’s musings correctly. Isolated, cursed by his own blood in a completely new and fucked up way!

I need Airplane to speak with me for like, half an hour. This is paramount to my mental health, I’m losing my braincells by the hour.

What happened to this impervious, cocky, badass demon bastard lord to become so alone? How did it happen? Why did it not happen to the other two, or at least Bing-ge, who has had every horrible and shitty thing possible and impossible piled onto his head? What the fuck is up with Xin Mo? Why isn’t it eating away at Big Bro Luo? Or, worse: why is it eating away at him in such a way that instead of turning into a violent yet charismatic, horror-creature of a man, it turns him into the existential terror-fate I’ve contemplated and abhorred since I was seven?

Tianlang-jun as the final boss. Discovering Huan Hua Palace Master’s crimes, deceit and… stuff. Perhaps even uncovering Shen Jiu’s backstory.

Ooh! Worse! Or better? What if he finds out everything, after having followed Bing-gē’s path, and simply… gives up? A grown up Bing-ge, minus the marriage and surrogate-lover part(s).

(More unlikely than other options, but still there, I guess.)

Fucking insane of MXTX to do this to me, personally and specifically.

I can only speculate forever, I guess! Left… alone and pondering forever.

So. Not a Bing-ge, and not a Bing-mei. A Bing-xiong, if you will.

[valkyrayn]

i need marius making love to his short wife 😞😞 like less than 5’5 kinda short because him being 6’2 is TALL

sorry this took so long! this has been in the drafts for so long and i got too busy to finish it so before i forget about it, i'm just gonna post it. the size difference kink i have bcus of this man istg makes me FERAL

tags: marius x afab!reader, marius calls you babe, baby, little, size difference, dirty talk, praise kink, implied creampie, blowjob, pussy eating, standing 69, foreplay only

------

“So how do you guys…you know…”

“Fuck?” You reply casually. 

Kiki smacks her hand over her mouth and slaps your arm with the other. Everyone’s eyes widen at your casual and obscene reply. Truth is, you’ve been asked the same question more times than you could count and at this point, you’re past being shy and cute about it. 

Marius would be proud of you. 

Apparently people just can’t wrap their heads around the fact that two people with extreme height differences can have sex normally like any other people. Honestly, you can’t blame them because you had the same thought the first time too. 

Small and petite, at 5’1 standing in front of your 6’2 husband—you can barely reach his lips even when you stand on your tiptoes. Marius has to bend down to meet you halfway every time, or he just ends up lifting you up in his arms and kissing you that way. He prefers the latter because it doesn’t cause him neck pain. 

When it comes to sex however, he uses your size difference to his full advantage. Every time, without fail, you will be lifted and tossed around like a rag doll. 

It always starts off sweet; with you standing between his legs as he sits on the edge of the bed. He’ll gently caress the side of your body as he kisses you sweetly until he starts coaxing your mouth open by pushing his tongue between your lips. You moan breathlessly against his mouth, your fingers gripping his hair tighter as you struggle to hold yourself steady. 

A startled ‘oh’ leaves your lips when you feel his fingers rubbing against your clothed sex, which is embarrassingly soaked through with your juices. 

“Were you waiting for me the whole day, my sweet, beautiful wife?” He asks as he starts leaving kisses down your neck. You press your lips together when he pushes his fingers against the fabric of your panties, dipping into your hole just slightly to tease and drive you crazy. With how small you are, even his fingers feel big inside you. “Mmmh…Please…” You beg, desperate to feel more. 

“Please what, my love?” He starts sucking onto your skin, leaving his marks and licking them to help soothe the sting. “Does my baby want me to eat her wet little pussy? Hmm?” He coos, pulling your panties aside and then begins to rub his fingers against your wet folds, leaving you frustrated at the lack of penetration.

“Is my pretty little wife desperate to have her cunt filled with my cock” 

Legs trembling at his ministrations, you bury your head in the crook of his neck, whimpering against his skin when he finally pushes his fingers inside your hole and proceeds to pump in and out at a tantalising pace. “You’re drenched, babe. Are you that excited to have me inside you?” He pushes in deeper, hooking his fingers up making you jerk against him. 

“Mmmh…fuck babe. I can’t wait to stretch this little pussy. You want that, don’t you?” Marius grabs your small hand and places it against his balls, hanging heavily behind his loose grey sweatpants. You instinctively start fondling it gently, making him hiss. 

“I’ll unload every single drop…until you’re leaking for days. Fuck, you make me so…nnghh.” He groans, his own words arousing him to the point of insanity and now all he wants is to fuck you. Marius hooks his arms on the underside of your thighs and throws them over his shoulders before standing up to his full height. 

“So I’m guessing, you’ll have to lie there on the bed as he goes down on you—if he even does,” one of the girls laughs and exchanges glances with the others as if in agreement. You simply smile and nod. 

You yelp and grip onto his hair for balance, looking down at him as he pulls your panties aside and immediately latches onto your pussy. “Fuck…oh my god!” You scream as his tongue begins to circle around your clit, your grip tightening around his hair as he starts eating your pussy standing up. 

“Marius—! Mmmnngghh…so good. Yes…oh yes just like that…” It turns him on to hear you moan his name like that, making his cock twitch behind his pants. With one hand behind you to hold you steady, he reaches down with the other to pull his cock out of his pants and desperately starts stroking himself. 

Big, hard and leaking, he smears his precum around the tip with his thumb, steadily pumping his fist around his shaft, groaning against your pussy from sheer pleasure. Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you finally release your grip to pull your tank top over your head so you can start playing with your bare tits, nipples hardening from arousal and the cold night air blowing in through the windows. 

“Is 69 even possible for you guys? Cus’, you probably can’t reach him. Oh sweets, you’re such a small little thing aren’t you,” they laugh again. You respond with a small chuckle before taking a sip of your wine. 

Unbothered, you lift your head and make eye contact with your husband from across the garden who’s smiling back at you. It’s not hard to spot him, he’s the tallest compared to the other men in the group. He winks at you and brings his attention back to them, even though he’d much rather be with you at the moment.

“We do 69 all the time…”

“Sure you do, Karin.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said, how exciting.”

Marius holds onto you and flips you upside down, giving you access to his cock while he continues to eat you out. He’s able to plunge his tongue even deeper inside you at that angle and it sends you spiralling towards your climax almost immediately. You wrap your small fingers around his cock and start taking him inside your mouth. “Yes baby, suck my cock please…Your mouth feels so good around me.” He moans filthy praises against your pussy, relishing the sensation of his hard cock inside the hot caverns of your mouth. He starts rutting his hips against you gently until he feels the tip reach the back of your throat.

You moan around his cock and feel yourself coming, sending a gush of your release out of you that it starts dripping down his chin and onto his shirt. His tongue continues to pump in and out of you to prolong your orgasm while you’re struggling to hold yourself together and trying to blow him at the same time. 

Marius loves the way your thighs tremble against his ears when you cum. He loves reducing you to a weak trembling mess from his mouth alone and he surely can’t wait to have you writhing under him when he starts fucking you into the mattress. 

“Gonna fuck your mouth the way you deserve, baby girl,’ he says and lifts you up before tossing you onto the bed, with your head hanging at the edge of the mattress. He looks down at you as he pulls his shirt off and tosses his sweatpants aside before stripping you naked. You stare in awe at his heaving chest, his beautiful athletic body, dripping with sweat and your release.

Pressing his thumb against your chin, he coaxes your mouth open before dipping his finger past your lips. “Good girl…fuck you’re such a horny little slut aren’t you?” His words are obscene, making your cunt throb. He knows how much you love being called his little slut. 

Only because you are—taking his cock in your mouth like a champ while his hands roam across your body to play with your tits and cunt, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. He fucks your mouth like he would your pussy, knowing just how hard you his petite little queen can take it. 

“The same way like everyone else…” You trail off, a dreamy smile creeping its way onto your face, leaving them to their own imagination. 

[blueskittlesart]

begging and pleasing to hear more abt the colosseum au pls

oh jesus. most of it is in its tag but. okay so for context this whole thing started because a conversation between me and the only person in the world who gets botw like i do @eggymegs when we were. seventeen years old. because we were (are) both insanely obsessed with botw and the covid lockdowns had just started so rather than coping in a normal way we were exploring and analyzing the entire map. for whatever reason we latched onto the coliseum as a setting full of a lot of potential and based on that initial conversation i drafted an au where link ran away after finding the master sword and hid in plain sight as a gladiator. It was one of my first real forays into comic writing and a lot of it was kind of messily executed because i was 17 but it was also the first time i'd ever seriously tried to write a comic with like. real underlying themes and a POINT to its narrative so it was definitely sort of a gateway endeavor for me. I would definitely consider the first chapter (posted 4 years ago today lol) my first-ever black-and-white zelda comic, which is the type of content that i'd say i'm most known for nowadays lol. There are elements in that au that inspired/led to basically every comic in my zine, however indirectly, so it definitely still holds a special place in my heart. I still enjoy the story and concept too, although there are certain things i might do differently now. I never quite got to the climax of what I had planned before I lost interest and moved on to other things, though, so if you do go looking for it know that it isn't and probably won't ever be a full story, it was more like a fun little writing/art exercise for me lol. occasionally I'll go back to thinking about it just because i still find the story and characters i created interesting and think there's something worth exploring in them, but i can't promise any real new content or resolution lol

[through-rosey-glasses]

PWHL Teams and Which Taylor Swift Era They are in

My sister and I were talking about how Minnesota Frost is clearly in their Tortured Poets Department Era, and that inspired the rest of this post. This is just a fun little thing I did, please don't take it too seriously or personally.

(Also for swifties, I used the old versions of album covers as it refers to that era. Red TV is totally different than Red ya know.)

Minnesota Frost:

Currently in their The Tortured Poets Department Era. Basically messy despite being on top of the world. The album came out after the raging success of Taylor Swift in her Era's tour and winning her fourth album of the year at the grammy's. This new album brings out snappy lines targeted at fans and revelations at how Taylor Swift didn't live up to the ideal many fans had of her. In Minnesota we had the recent firing of the favored general manager and drafting of a controversial player. You can't convince me that Ken Klee wasn't blasting But Daddy I Love Him, as he made all his messy decisions.

Boston Fleet:

Speak Now was a Taylor Swift era filled with spite and determination. The whole album was written by Taylor Swift alone, partially because her ex and some critics accusing her of not being a proficient writer on her own. After losing the Walter Cup, the Boston Fleet have the confidence that they can make it far and the determination to be better. (I also think spite comes naturally to Boston, not like they need a motivation or something.) This era is very youthful but honest, and I think that energy would be great to see in Boston next season. Someone blast better than revenge.

Montreal Victoire:

A personal favorite of mine, the Red Era of Taylor Swift had it all. Heartbreak, style, chaos, parties, love. This era was also risky and complex, Taylor Swift blended country and pop, bringing critical acclaim and a wider fanbase. Montreal has had a fun, but chaotic summer. Their draft picks are a fair mix of old and new. (With that wild Kessel pick) Their name and logo got rave reviews. People see the the good foundation the team has and are waiting in anticipation for what's to come.

Toronto Sceptres:

Reputation is a come back era, and Toronto has something to prove. Following a devastating injury to a star player, the team wasn't the same during the playoffs. This season they are going to have to show that they are still that team. Reputation is a fan favorite album and I have found Toronto to have the strongest fanbase. (They sell out most often and have the largest social media presence.) The team knows they are good and they have the support, they just need to rebuild.

Ottawa Charge:

Folklore is an era of surprising change. During Covid and following the cut short run of Lover, Folklore was an unannounced reinvention of Taylor Swift. It wasn't an intentional change, but one forced by the way of the world. Ottawa needs to find its grove and step into its own again. I haven't heard much from Ottawa on anything really, and I hope its because they got some cool alt indie surprise on its way.

New York Sirens:

Listen I am not only picking 1989 because it has a cool New York aesthetic. This is the era of leaning in and giving it your all. When Red didn't win album of the year, Taylor Swift decided to move to New York and reinvent herself. New York was last in ranking last season, but got first in draft. They have been working off season with insane draft picks and that somehow it worked out trade with Boston. New York has the star power, the New York city life, and the rebranding to help turn them into something new.

[zilabee]

I listened to the final ep of @anotherkindofmindpod's Fine Tuning, yesterday. I'm so sad it's ended. I loved every.single.second. I don't think I've posted about it at all, but it's only because everyone was already saying it better, and my posts end up in drafts half finished and confused and full of runaway sentences of little import.

I'm really grateful for the whole thing. Grateful the way I was when I watched Understanding Lennon McCartney the first time, like being given a genuine gift of fandom making sense of itself. I don't know. It's just lovely to have. And it's done so well.

When, in the first ep, they casually mentioned that there were going to be ELEVEN episodes I knew it was going to be amazing. Proper genuine "we have a lot to say and we're going to say it all so you don't think we didn't think it through" you know? I love that they didn't start making eleven episodes and then decide that was too many and cut 40% of it out, it's more like they wanted to make twenty episodes and then cut out about 40% of that. Making eleven episodes and then being like 'we didn't even have time to talk about anything that we LIKED about this book' is a real move. A perfect shiny move.

The fact they made a spreadsheet sends me into fits. I love it.

Cards on the table I have not read Tune In properly, I have skimmed and picked at it, and obviously I've seen loads of it quoted on tumblr, but EVERY quote you read from it (and everything he says in interviews) makes it so fucking OBVIOUS that he doesn't understand basic things, I've never been able to face it full on. And the frustration that people (men) can't see how bad it is. So having it put out there like this, bit by bit, oh the joy of it.

And then it's also so much worse than I knew, because I'd never really worked out that he was just MAKING UP QUOTES and mushing them together to say new things, and oh my god the stuff that's NOT in there, is insane. The bit in episode 3 where AKOM quickly list off about five or six really interesting things about Paul's art in his schooldays and then you find out that Tune In didn't even MENTION that he liked to paintklsjdofihoijsodijfohwoisjdf OH MY GOD.

I'm blown away by the work of it, and the scale of it, and how well put together it was. I love the *feel* of it. I love its tone when they let the sarcasm ride high. The voices of "sincere surprise" are just my favourite thing. "Oh, so he mentions that Paul did x and y right?" "Actually, weirdly he doesn't!" "Oh, HOW STRANGE. But does he say he was interested in z???" "Oddly no." I love the sense of giddy anticipation in the intro ep, it must have been killing them to have made so much of it and not be able to talk about it.

I'm so fully aware that all of what they're saying will move into other podcasts, and become things that men sort of talk about as if obviously everyone kind of sees the bias in Tune In, even though they've always talked about it as if it's a great work of truth until now. It kills me softly. And they'll claim it's only POSSIBLE to see that now, ten years later when it's spelled out to them, as if it's aged badly or something, when actually female fandom has been fucked off with Tune In for fucking years. But that's FINE. WHATEVER.

Also glorious have been all the posts people posted around it, and how the conversation grew, and especially the fact that @mythserene had clearly been doing a lot of the same work. Her posts in tandem with the show are so wonderful, and make it even more special, the depth of fandom for the love of fandom <3333333

[johnslittlespoon]

Hello, gorgeous!

First of all, thank you for the joy of reading the first chapter of Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me).

I just have one question: Will future chapters show us Gale’s POV as well? Personally, I’d love to see young, shy Bucky through the eyes of an older Gale.

HIII sweetest human!! <3 no thank YOU for reading omg and for the kind words plsss :')) and for giving me an excuse to talk ab this LOL. tldr: future chapters no, future parts/drabbles yes!!

i was actually so indecisive about this when i started plotting the fic because while i enjoy reading fics with alternating povs just as much as fics without them, i've never written one with them and i wasn't sure if i'd enjoy/be good at switching mindsets like that!

i ultimately decided to stick to john's pov for that reason, but also because i thought as the reader, having to see things through his eyes and only being able to guess about gale the way john does would be more intriguing, especially with john's view of the world/interactions warped and/or rose–tinted by youth, inexperience, emotional dysregulation, etc.

BUT sooo much of what i have written in my drafting doc is from gale's pov because i love picturing this bucky through his eyes too, it's just such a fresh and new dynamic for me to explore as someone who primarily writes mota–verse buckbucky, and what we see from john's pov is so different from how gale sees things of course lol.

like it drives me insane thinking about how this poor man was literally just living his peaceful life, fine with being solo, going through the routine every day of work and then bike club and then home, and suddenly he's got this golden retriever of a boy attached to him like a magnet, and he's being kept on his toes dealing with the bundle of energy, and each day is now unpredictable and as exciting as it is stressful and he has no one to blame but himself lol. and the way we don't get to see the self–restraint he has to have and the struggle to be responsible and do what's 'right' while also dealing with his own feelings, because john isn't aware that's going on inside gale's head!

i could go on and on about his side of things aughghgh so i think eventually i'll end up doing a pretty lengthy oneshot sorta thing of certain events in the actual fic through gale's eyes (kinda what i plan on doing with yadiym for john's pov) bc goddd i have so many thoughts about how all of this would be playing out from his perspective!!! if not a oneshot, then drabbles like this one i hope.

if i had the time and if it wouldn't be boring to read i would honestly just rewrite the whole fic from gale's pov once it's done because with every scene i write, i'm like ooo i wanna dive into his pov and talk about what he's thinking and seeing so BAD but i can't bc we're in john's head </3 i just love analyzing john through his eyes and ik i've yapped ab this so much in past posts but gale does see so much of his younger self in him, that's why he has a lot of patience and takes a liking to him so fast, even if he doesn't realize that right away. :')

at the very least i definitely want to write pwp oneshots/drabbles set in the TAS universe from gale's pov so i can gush over describing how pretty and sweet and mouthy john is LOL i'm sure i'll add the fic itself to a series like with my dog–coded fic so that i can build on the au with oneshots once it's done >:-)

this is such a longwinded response (what else is new!) but you poked the bubble in my brain that's been agonizing over wanting to delve into gale's pov so <3 this is much more rambling than your question warranted but thx JSDKG

[justallihere]

Question, I’ve been wondering about this, but feel free not to answer (or answer publicly) if it would spoil anything for SITQ. I’ve been reading on vibes enjoying the slow burn and haven’t put any thought into Violet’s second signet there—I know if I went back and did a re-read I could probably find the hints you said you’ve dropped but I’m just cruising for now, so I won’t 😂

But I was wondering what your thoughts were on *that* scene in IF, Ch52 I think it is, where Vi goes to bed while Xaden’s away for the week and then wakes the next night apparently cuddled up next to him, but then he ‘returns’ six days later?

Editing mistake, or signet foreshadowing? Because I’m 90% that it’s an editing mistake 👀 Open to being proven wrong of course, haha, but I was just curious as to your thoughts?

Just reading on vibes is so ME. I feel that so hard

I think it’s just an editing mistake. The whole book is kind of a mess in terms of pacing and editing anyway. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve only read IF all the way through once, and I read quickly, so I didn’t even clock that one until people started pointing it out and coming up with all these insane theories. In the most respectful way possible, people are giving RY too much credit 💀 I love these books but she hasn’t done anything yet to make me think that she’s putting the same amount of thought into powers and signets and such that all the fans are. I have a whole post sitting in my drafts about Violet’s second signet that I’m gonna post after this next chapter and yeah. . . Maybe I’m just a hater but I think we all should tone down our expectations lmao

The main thing ✨I✨ got from IF is that Violet needs information to be grounded and feel like herself. I think her signet will be related to that

[box-architecture]

which are the aus You have more on your ming latetly?

A mixture of them!

I'm staring at the Dreambur AU I have (Strangers Vassal) and wondering if I should post what I had planned for it to look like. I'm struggling a lot with writing it, partially because I don't have a lot of people to bounce ideas off of, partially because it's an AU that would have a lot of fight scenes, something I don't have a lot of experience in and am unsure how to proceed with.

I really enjoy the concept of it, and I want to write for it, but it might once again turn into a bunch of shortfics in a series rather than the longfic I originally wanted. It's disappointing that I can't seem to consistently write longfics, but if I don't accept the limitation I might risk not getting anything done at all, and that's potentially more disappointing.

The Communication Knife AU is almost always on my mind. It's evolved from just pure demons and rotations to being a huge comfort that I can just idly think about throughout the day.

It's really neat, because I started out as a Dream-centric multishipper who wasn't sure if I could vibe with Punz and Sam closing the triangle, but after marinating in the idea, it's now really important to me that they become something too. They grow from two people fighting around their relationship with Dream to something based on trust and blunt honesty and Forgiveness Withoit Forgetting. They can be deeply affectionate with each other in a way thats different from their relationship with Dream. Not bad, not in a way that excludes him, just different.

The AU has also tentatively opened me up to exploring 2nd Gen characters, something I've literally never been capable of before. I have a lot of vague ideas for who gets together post-main story, and how those relationships works and why. Ponk/Foolish/XD is a ship for example, and I've designed a possible child for them? As well as designed Fooshs Totem children? It's always a maybe for if I actually want to give people kids, and it's not really the point of CKAU, it's just really fun to explore the rest of the smp in this sort of fix-it au and how it impacts their lives in the After of it all.

It's also helped me expand my Minecraft Lore and Worldbuilding Bible (how in my headcanon the mineacraft world works and its history/lore, including tying other media's like Hermitcraft and Maricraft to the dsmp to make everything part of the overall world.)

Writing CKAU post-story had also, ironically, made me enjoy benchtrio more, as I get to talk to my friends about their interpersonal dynamics and how they work and how they end up finally at peace. Especially considering Tubbo and Ranboo are bitterly divorced for a long time.

I had a lot of small ideas for a DNB Mass Effect AU in a similar vein to To Tear Asunder being my Dragon Age AU, but I feel really guilty getting into that when I haven't even finished the Philza fic or the Techno fic I have for the latter. I have significantly less people to bounce ideas off of for To Tear Asunder, which is why I struggle with it sometimes.

A lot of my writing in the beginning was done through utilizing my manic moods, but now that I'm better medicated/no longer constantly manic, it's led to me going a lot slower with writing. Demons (PWP stuff) are a lot easier to write, because they require significantly less scene set-up when I can use the sexual act as a template, and being horny-brained isn't particularly difficult.

(Also. No Plot Nessecary. Hence the Porn Without Plot. Plot is really exhausting to write sometimes.)

Obviously it's a lot better for my health that I'm no longer manic, but it's still disappointing that I can no longer work myself into a tizzy and write 30 pages of something (before collapsing and being unable to do anything at all for the next several days.) Give and take and all.

I briefly was very insane about Benchtrio fucking Dream in various ways. I made a whole Teacher/Student AU about it that's in my drafts, god willing I get my new laptop and can finish that up. I really enjoy CNC and bodice ripper type stuff, so it's pretty fun to explore crack AUs where Dream is just trying to be normal and the 3 most abnormal people in the world come into his life.

I'm not really a fan of the Tommy/Dream dynamic where Dream is preying on the Poor Helpless Child, especially because it has a habit of taking itself Very Seriously. I'm not looking for serious and dark and the villainization of Dream. It's a lot more fun for me to explore a strong, confident, and very tired 20-something desperately trying to figure out how to deal with the 17-18 year old being horny on main. Also it's just really interesting to me when the younger character takes advantage of normal social and power dynamics and subvert them so they can have the older character sub.

^I'm not sure if the explanation there is perfect or makes sense but I'm always happy to try to talk more about it if you'd like.

I have a little more of the Warden Hybrid!Dream type stuff in my head that I wanted to write out, mostly just a lot of Porn With Minimal Plot for purely kink reasons. I also have a Dream/Ravager fic I'm supposed to be posting, but God only knows when I can finish it. I need zoomies.

[leighlew3]

Are you open to giving your opinion on The Girls On The Bus?

IMHO take away the swearing and the occasional s*x scene, you can tell people of the CW were involved. And so many other things that I don’t want to spoil in case not everyone has see it but I wonder how you (a professional) sees it.

Okie dokie. So.

I've had this Anon/Answer as a draft for a while. Was torn on whether to discuss it. But now that it's cancelled, I don't feel like this would be discouraging anybody from tuning in and thus harming the show or those involved in any way.

Keep in mind, I'm entitled to my opinions -- yes even without having watched it (yet?) because it's all tied into why I ultimately didn't watch it in the first place.

Early on, I remember being... wary about the creative direction of the show overall and saying to somebody what I bet each character would wind up being about/representing, what the show would likely focus on and the various dynamics between the characters, and how the representation would be treated. I'd hoped to be wrong in terms of the predictability factor, alas...

From what I read of reviews and saw in fan-posted clips, it turned out that I was (unfortunately) pretty spot on. For me personally -- that makes a show difficult to tune into if something else doesn't outweigh it. If I already know exactly what to expect and it involves less than flattering predictions regarding superficial feminism + overdone tropes and cliches + an overall concept that feels like a beat down with IRL non-stop coverage of political insanity the last 8 damn years? Thaaat's a hard one for me.

As far as cast though? Benoist is an exceptional, underrated, incredible talent. And some of the clips of her performance seemed Emmy-worthy (though sadly that didn't happen for her this time). Gugino is also fantastic, and an icon. Meanwhile Elmore is profusely enjoyable and talented and Behnam is such a break out and refreshing energy. And all together, they seemed to have amazing chemistry on screen and formed bonds IRL that are lovely.

Sadly though, the show's feminism seemed to be the equivalent of a "girl boss" tote bag. Superficial at best. Characters and the show constantly ragging on men and the double standards of men vs women, yet ultimately still centering men and the influence of men in and even over their lives when it gets down to brass tacks. My whole thing is: everything doesn't have to be a feminist statement. But don't yell about how your show is all about "girl power" and then -- do the opposite, in many ways. SGCW used to do that all the time. And since many of the same people were involved here creatively... well...

The show even hung a huge focus of its initial marketing on "omg we have a shirtless 50 year old white man that white millennial women were in love with in the early 2000s hehehe" -- which was so utterly bizarre and cringe. And having their invited influencer group for the screening be a group of privileged, mostly straight, cis, white Millennials and Gen Z women from TikTok was a red flag.

Yes, straight cis white Millennial and Gen Z women deserve to see themselves too, 100%. But, c'mon. And yes, not everything is always for everybody. And that’s fine! But then they should’ve better considered the casting and what audience they were automatically bringing in from day one. Between Benoist, Gugino and Tala — that’s built in queer wlw fandoms right off the bat that would (and tried to) show up and champion the series if they had true reason to. Instead the show had limited, and as always ancillary, queer rep that apparently goes nowhere and ends rather badly, from what other fans have indicated. Drop me a line if that's incorrect though.

Look, yes, many queer fans were making jokes and expressing valid frustrations about the lead character giving QUEER AS HELL vibes all over the place yet being presented as seemingly straight, but what else is new from some of the creatives involved here.

It was further disappointing to see TPTB do a group interview where they said how they a.) tried to figure out who should get pregnant while on the campaign trail and need the abortion pills and ultimately decided on Sadie and b.) joked that they then debated "Well, Sadie HAS to sleep with SOMEBODY." to get there. Which just means the core "love story" they attempt to create for Sadie around not liking the guy at first other than as a hookup and then suddenly expressing deep feelings for him and bearing her soul a few episodes later wasn't exactly organic nor earned in conception nor execution.

It sounds like they just had a checklist of "issues" to address and then wrote around that, shaping characters to fit the story, instead of the other way around. So what might've worked better for the characters was pushed aside to complete the 'statements' they wanted to make. SGCW used to do that also. They were always trying so hard to make the characters fit the plot rather than the plot work alongside or even due to the characters -- which is why it so often fell flat, felt empty and had characters being poorly written, contradictory, etc.

On this front btw, someone had complained to me that for one big ep, Sadie was going through it, and whereas one would think she would normally go to her mentor and friend Grace (or one of the other girls on the damn bus, hello), the ep kept 'em apart so she could open up to a guy she previously rejected and it further their relationship. Once again, it's always a tiresome tactic when you have to keep women apart to prop up a man or a male/female dynamic because you know a character would have been more likely to go have that breakdown and emotional moment elsewhere, but you've gotta forcibly shove in the "development" of a hetero relationship at the expense of so much else.

Next, having a Black woman represent a political party that has built itself upon racism, homophobia and sexism and then using her and those arcs to play up the "both sides have good people" angle right now is tough to stomach for the kind of fans who were tuning in for Benoist, Gugino and others. It's not "enlightened" to say "Let's be pals with a bigot who wants women's rights stripped away because -- humanity!" I mean, we're all human and can't just quick and easy cut people out of our lives who have different beliefs, even if those beliefs are absolutely painfully awful -- but I don't think anyone is really exploring these issue deeply and appropriately enough yet.

I mean, "Aw, Kimberlyn drove Sadie to her abortion, thus showing that even if she personally didn't agree with it, she still cares and they can still be friends." is a sweet sentiment, in theory. Until you dig a little deeper and remember that Kimberlyn is not only voting for but actively helping promote and put power in the hands of people who stripped Sadie of her rights to have that abortion in that state in the first place! Stuff like this is so irritatingly disingenuous... or else just tone deaf and clueless. Pick whichever.

I will say, in closing, that it seemed a big portion of the apparently limited audience that was tuning in -- were queer fans who followed Benoist from Supergirl, and Tala from LoT, and who love Gugino, etc. And this is where it is so damn important know your audience based on who you're casting and what fans they're bringing to the table. Most discussion of the show on Twitter for instance, had been around queer Sadie edits and even a crackship with someone from another show + fans thirsting after Sadie's queer vibes and outfits, etc -- and those fans generated more interest around the show / buzz than anybody, yet there had been no direct acknowledgment nor gratitude by anyone involved with the show for tuning in and creating fan content and edits and art and gifs and hyping a show that otherwise has very little interest. And all that told those fans is: this show isn't for you, and we don't care if you're our only audience, we were aiming for something else. And hey -- aim for whomever you want! Tell your stories! But then don't be surprised when no one cares in this climate. I mean, LGBTQ fans and creators have to deal with this constantly when trying to "appeal to mass audiences", so, welcome to our world.

Additionally, TPTB were not even hyping the canon rep they did have, in Lola, ffs! Instead, everyone just focused the occasional praise from mostly straight white journalists giving it the obscure positive review, or family and friends pushing the show out of personal support.

It was so exhausting to see, because it involved a lot of the same creatives who previously also ignored LGBTQ fans carrying other previous shows with organic marketing in the past. Ignoring what limited audience you have will never be a recipe for long-term success. And with many of the people involved coming from The CW, and many at the top actually part of the LGBTQ community themselves -- you'd think they'd get that by now. Alas.

Anyway, I think most people involved in this show meant well, and worked hard on this one. And I hear they did do a couple great things -- like with Lola's family dynamic and background exploration, some of the humorous moments, etc. And kudos on getting a show made and on air -- because now more than even that is a damn near miracle. But because it's so hard to make happen now, that's really why I tend to be a little more discerning as well as having heightened expectations that representation be as fully developed and organic and self-aware as possible, and that talent not be wasted on cliches and superficiality. Audiences and actors deserve better, IMO.

In closing, I'm sure in the future I'll break my own standards on a project, whether by accident or by order from above, and people will feel I've flopped or been hypocritical given my current and past takes, and that's fine. I'll try to hear people out, adapt and grow and/or fight harder, where needed. But to see the same people get the same opportunities to make the same kind of things that get the same disappointed reactions/flop -- and never learn? Is tiresome.

Especially when the cast, fans, etc deserve better.

The end.