#i expect a lot of asks about fritz (which is expected) but please also try and send asks addressing the others!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shiftytracts · 4 years

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This was gonna be a scenario post, hence the A and B format, but got so long (2.4k) it almost counts as a story. I’m less sure it counts as emeto--it’s all nausea/general digestive upset, no actual vomit. Also mentions scat and weight gain, but those tags would definitely constitute false advertising; they’re more like incidental story elements than kink elements.

A’s on new meds, whose side effects include slight but near-constant nausea. They wander one morning through the dark, brown-carpeted house they share with B (their SO) and another housemate (C), coffee cup in hand, still slightly sweat-sticky from bed but without the time to shower. It’s a small, thin-walled house, and C’s not up yet, so A and B keep off their shoes for as long as they can, trying not to make too much noise. A muffles their burps into the crook of their elbow. B makes eggs and toast for both; A’s gotta wolf ‘em before their appointment, but wishes they hadn’t—or at least that they’d skipped the orange juice, and maybe saved brushing their teeth for after breakfast. They head to their appointment with their heart pounding in their gut, queasy and bloated and short of breath, bubbly stiff cramps forming in new places every time they bend a different way, belly rumbling so much they wonder if B can hear it, if they can see it shake, can see A’s navel through their t-shirt.

(“Be honest”—A implores, when they wander back from the can to the kitchen sink where B stands washing grease off the breakfast plates—“do I look like a total fatass?”

(“What? No.” B laughs, rhetorically, and adds, “Why?”

(“Well ‘cause I sorta feel like one is all,” A says, peremptorily stroking up and down past their navel, but regretting it when this uncalled-for jiggling further upsets their stomach.

(“Aw. No, you look fine,” B assures them. They look back to their dishes, then at A again with preemptive shrug: “I guess if they were really looking someone might figure you’d had a big breakfast, but.” A yanks at their shirt, hoping to obscure this; “Don’t do that, you’ll stretch it,” B reminds them.)

A tries to crap before they leave but no dice—not time yet. Nasty cramps and cold sweat all through their shrink appointment. Comes home, gives vent to the pyroclastic flow, then collapses supine on the bed and unbuttons their shorts. Takes a nap.

Despite their best efforts B’s doings in there an hour or so after that wake A up; they direct A to the water glass they set by the bed. “Oh. Thanks,” A yawns, and asks if B’ll hand them pajama pants. B smiles and complies.

“Not going out again then, huh? Not feeling well?”

A shrugs. “No, I’m okay now, just kinda.” They try to make a hand gesture for tired or loopy, but judging from B’s lack of answering nod they figure this doesn’t suffice as explanation. “Might later though, I don’t know.”

“Mm.”

“Should eat something, probably.”

“Ah, yeah—get back on the horse?”

“Haha yeah.” Meanwhile A rubs their belly up and down as though to sound its opinion on the level of drawstring tightness they’ve selected. B sits next to them for a sec, puts a hand on their back, pecks their jaw.

“I guess you are a bit chubbier now,” B admits, feeling guilty for how they dodged A’s question on that score this morning.

“Seems that way,” allows A. This, they’re pretty sure, is the previous med’s fault. They wouldn’t’ve switched were that its only sin, of course, but the thing had the gall to be useless aside from its side effects of weight gain and insomnia. “Is it gross? Should I.”

“What? No,” B says again, and laughs rhetorically as before. “‘Gross’? Of course not.” B bats A’s jaw, very gently, playfully. “No matter what happens, I’m just happy you’re getting help.”

A’s answering smile lasts maybe a quarter of a second. “Thanks.” All the same they stand and spread their arms out to either side, to give B a better look. “Sure you don’t mind?”

B smiles, shakes their head chidingly, incredulously. “Why would I mind? It’s kinda cute, if anything.” To prove they mean it they go around behind A, rest the side of their face on the back of A’s neck, snake their hands around to A’s front and slot each one atop their waistband so B’s palms fit in the hollow between pelvis and flab. Roots around til they find the end of A’s shirt, pushes it out of the way, un- and re-does the drawstring so their pajama pants sit at a more flattering height. “That too tight?”

“No, it’s kinda grounding actually,” A shrugs. “Thanks.”

“Mhm. Now go eat something.”

A eats some leftover rice with soy sauce—C ordered way too much rice with their takeout two nights ago, and left the extra up for grabs. Then A figures they can handle two Oreos. Can’t stop burping after that, but only feels a little queasy, little squirmy. Lies on the couch with their laptop, alternately studying and playing Tetris (they’re a week or two into the fall semester; today’s Friday, which they have off from both classes and work). Until C gets home, at which point Mariokart happens. This makes A feel sick, though, not sure whether in a too much food or not enough kinda way, so they take their computer and go back to the bedroom, telling C they just want to remove themselves from the social distraction. Maintains this ruse until about halfway down the hallway, then lets go the foodbaby they’ve been suckin’ in and moves their free hand up and down it as they round the corner into their bedroom doorway. B’s all dressed and ready for their friend’s party now; has to go soon. They’re crisscross-applesauced on the bed looking at their phone, but they look up when A comes in. “Hey.”

“Hi! Feeling better?” B asks, with a slight frown that suggests they know the answer.

A busies their hands with setting their laptop on the bed so they can say, “Nope—queasatronic,” without seeming too self-pitying.

B nose-laughs but says, “Aw. I’m sorry.”

A shrugs, sits. “Eh.”

“Want me to stay home?—I could—?”

But this time A says, “What? No. ‘Course not, you should go. I’m fine, I’m.” (Shrugs, realizing already that this’ll sound like a guilt trip and wondering whether they secretly mean one. But they’re too bushed to think of another ending to the sentence.) “I’m used to this; don’t need a babysitter. You should go.”

“Okay. Thank you. If you’re sure.”

“No, please. Seriously.”

“Alright. What time is it?” B chirps, then presses the top button on their phone and reports, “5:24—yeah okay, I should go. Take care, feel better. Need anything?—I could stop at CVS, or.”

“Uh…” A mimes thinking about it, then spaces out for real.

“Well, you can text me if so,” B laughs.

“Cool. Sure. Have fun.”

“Thaaanks,” B says, swinging themselves by the hand around the doorjamb as they slip out. A arranges themselves supine again, hands folded on their stomach. Lets out an unimpressed sigh as though in summation. Doesn’t really wanna take a nap, but they try playing Tetris again and feel too icky when they try to focus their eyes on the screen. Closes their laptop but does not remove its warm weight from their lap, even though in the 5pm heat its plastic sticks to their wrists. Burps, mouth open, not loudly exactly but sorta high-pitched—as though they were an adolescent boy with a soda can, they scoff. Then wonders if they have any more diet ginger ale. Wanders out to the kitchen, in the extra wall space between which and the dining room (B calls it a “breakfast nook,” but A just assumes that’s a joke they don’t get) they keep their soda cans stacked on the floor next to the milk-cratey recycle bins. There is indeed one left. They grab that and a cup (and two ice cubes outta the tray in the freezer), too lazy to fetch the one B put water in for them earlier, and remind themselves to text B that they’ve run out.

C’s still out there, and notices A’s choice of beverage. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just. Guts’re on the fritz again.”

“Hm. Sorry, pal.”

“It’s cool.”

“You gonna be able to find something you can eat?”

“What?”

“Tonight, I mean. Is there food you can eat?”

A shrugs. “Still some rice left I guess.”

“I ask ‘cause I’m going to the store in an hour, so. If you want some saltines or something.”

“Oh.” A laughs; adds, “thanks. Think we still have some from last time though.”

“Okay. Well, if you think of anything you want.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

“No problem; good luck.”

At this departure from Hope you feel better A laughs slightly. “Thanks.” Heads back to their room, drinks their soda and melty ice. This is the hottest-ass part of the day, so when it’s gone they balance the still-cool glass on their clavicle. They feel much better now, if sorta bloated and fizzy. Quease level comparatively minimal. Figures they should eat again while they’ve got the, uh, guts for it.

Once they start on their second round of rice A finds they’re pretty hungry. Adds soy sauce a lot more zealously, this time, and risks the last leftover spring roll as well but regrets the grease. Has to make up for it with the unsauced bits of rice clinging to the edge of the styrofoam box—you know, like, a palate cleanser or whatever. They hiccup a little, then belch when they bring their plate to the sink, from the contact between gut and the edge of the counter: hadn’t thought about the extra room they take up now. Rubs a peremptory circle into the left side above the navel but finds they feel alright, for now—then 20 minutes later heads into the can, expecting lava from how their stomach cramps and rolls, but gets out only some air and a few wispy pebbles. Notices with greater dismay, then, on the way back to their room, how their belly queasily sloshes around when they walk. Doesn’t seem to have shrunk much.

In B’s mirror, back in their room, A finds they look pretty gigantic, too; they changed into a looser shirt after the first one got too sweaty, and in this comparative tent all you can tell is that the gut’s the widest part of their profile. They set their hands down on it to bring it down to size, and are dismayed at how little difference this makes. Does feel nicer that way though; leaves ‘em there as they trudge slowly back to their side of the bed, and pushes slow circles into each side. Sits heavily on the edge of the bed, hunched over a little. Can feel the tightness in their stomach that means either it’s going to rumble in that long drawn-out violating way where you feel like it’s loosing all your secrets or that you’re going to belch so loud you’ll wonder if you have to puke. Waits, then gives up on waiting and slowly, laboriously lies down. Stretches a little, tempting fate, but it kinda hurts: ties a weird knot high up on the right when they loosen back up. They put three fingers on it gently, and try to iron it out back and forth. Ah!—there it goes. Stomach starts growling, seems to shake everything up, then once that uneasy shifting’s done with it still keeps up the sound what seems a ludicrous, embarrassing long time. When that’s done they sigh and then burp a little. Laughs at themselves for this display. Carefully carefully carefully turns onto their side, facing away from the door, and tries to sleep, a protective hand curled around their stomach.

When B gets home much later that night they wake up a little (“Oh. Hi. How was the thing.” “Hey! Sorry to wake you. It was fun; I think it went well.” “That’s good.” “Mhm.” “Anyway good night.” B laughs: “Haha okay. Go back to sleep A.” They mean to reply at your service but instead say, “Open sesame”; B laughs and pats their hair so it itches their nose. When A swipes at it snot comes loose. They decide not to open that pandoras wormtails); figures they’ll fall back to sleep quick until the consciousness of nausea slides back into place, at which point they try to roll onto their back and find themselves ludicrously heavy. It takes several tries, and all their breath. They groan with bored self-pity, forgetting they’re not alone in the room.

Meanwhile B struggles out of their clothes and into pajama pants and an inside-out (but not backwards) tank top in the dark. “You okay?”

“Blugh. Not great.”

“Aw, still?”

“Yeah… nah,” A says, blinking, confusedly forgetting which answer is appropriate. “I gotta pee,” A decides. This helps a little, since it wakes them up all the way and therefore allows them to disentangle the need to pee from their other woes. In the bathroom mirror they look mostly deflated up top but still extra puffy and round lower down; at least it doesn’t hurt their stomach to stand up anymore. Only hurts like a menstrual cramp does after you take ibuprofen, but the quease that in that case is only incipient is much worse here. At one point they cough, and dread this “pandoras wormtails” too when it alerts them to all the mushy brittle things in their throat and chest. This also makes them start burping again, so that that’s how they end up greeting B when they get back to the doorway of their room: fist over their mouth, wincing a little, leaning into the wall for balance. B’s a good sport though. They face each other in bed and B lays both their warm hands on A’s stomach, whimpers in pity at how blown up they can tell it is.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” they say in that affectionate half-asleep tone that always comes out querulous.

“It’s cool,” A says back.

B sloppily nods so that their jaw thuds against their pillow, hair spilling into their eyes, and tells A, “Just try to go back to sleep; feel betterinthmorning probbleby,” trying to get all the words out before a yawn.

#emetophilia #emeto cw

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libermachinae · 4 years

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Fault Lines Under the Living Room

Part II: Breathe - Chapter 5: Thoughts Expand in Blooms

Also available on AO3! Summary: The consequences of Ratchet and Rodimus' chase become known. Chapter Word Count: 2644

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“Try again.”

“Yes, sir. Rodimus, come in Rodimus. This is Blaster, coming to you live from the Lost Light command deck. Do you read me? Status and further instruction requested. Over.”

Years of handling the Wreckers’ fluctuating schedules meant it was no effort for Ultra Magnus to resist rubbing his optics as he watched the progress of their three recovery speeders. Siren, Crossblades, and Waverider had launched with minimal deviations from standard procedure (Crossblades would receive a write-up for nonessential helical rotation) and tracked Arcee’s shuttle up to acceptable pursuit range. That was where the chase had stalled, as Rodimus had provided no further instructions and protocol required command from a captain before they could proceed. Either captain.

Protocol fell apart when one refused to leave his hab and the other had stopped answering his comms. Magnus started mentally writing up a proposal for temporary transfer of pursuit command responsibilities while they waited.

The control panel refreshed as the latest information poured in. The speeders were entering upper atmosphere, rotating in pyramid formation in the shuttle’s trail. Acceleration had decreased to the minimum required to maintain orbit and altitude held steady as they sailed through Scarvix’s exosphere.

“Ultra Magnus, I have a visual on Rodimus’ ship,” Bluestreak reported.

“Pull it up.”

The datafeeds compressed to the right of the screen, replaced with the compound live feed from the speeders, displaying the shuttle’s stern, the glow of its thrusters closer to a lightbulb than anything spaceworthy. The engines were keeping it aloft, but there was an unnatural stillness about it, like debris floating through space.

“Again.”

Blaster adjusted settings on the ship’s communications hub and leaned into the mic.

“Rodimus, come in Rodimus. This—”

There was a crackle and buzz as the ship’s receiver finally picked up a signal.

“This is Rodi—ack, Ratchet, this is Ratchet. We read you.”

Blaster’s shoulders relaxed as he transferred primary input to the third in command’s station, but Magnus did not match his relief. Underneath the fritz of the shuttle’s poorly maintained equipment, Ratchet’s voice was shaking.

“Ratchet, this is Ultra Magnus. Report.”

“Report. Report… um, Arcee’s gone. We lost her. Satellite. Crash. Is Cyclonus there?”

“No. What is your—”

“Get him,” Ratchet interrupted.

“Where is Rodimus?” Magnus asked. Ratchet was supposed to be one of the good ones, recognizing his place within the chain of commands. Making demands was out of character for him.

“Here! I’m here,” Rodimus’ voice crackled down the line. “Present. Available. Get Cyclonus.”

Magnus sent the ping and tagged it urgent. Cyclonus had never been known for tardiness, but that put it on the record.

“What is your status?” he asked as he acknowledged Cyclonus’ response.

“Good! Weird? Ratchet is banged up, which is bad. He suffered impact shock in his lower spinal strut, chance there’s a disk… how do I…”

Magnus’ orbital ridge twitched, a coding bug when expression protocols tried to assign a profile to stress of unknown origin. He wiped the cache, regaining his neutral set, and sent a command to have the speeders approach the shuttle. Visual on the command deck would be helpful, but flight integrity was his main concern. If neither Rodimus nor Ratchet was in the right mind to pilot, they would need to engage in emergency grounding maneuvers.

“Ratchet, are you still there? Rodimus sounds incoherent; what is his status?”

“He’s fine.” His voice was briefly drowned out by shuffling and crashing on the other end. “—cessor’s functioning normally. It’s loud, but it’s working.”

“He’s overheating?” Magnus asked.

“Not his fans, his thoughts.”

“Is his comm link malfunctioning?”

“He’s bright like the goddamn sun. I can barely get two words in. Will you shut that off? ”

“Ratchet?” Speeders were closing in.

“Not you.”

“Stop yelling at me!” Rodimus snapped, volume raising and lowering like he was pacing around the microphone. “I heard you the first time.”

“I don’t see how. I can barely hear myself.”

“Aw, poor Rodimus, doesn’t get to hear his own voice.”

“ You’re Rodimus, that’s my line.”

“Rodimus, Ratchet, Waverider is en route to board,” Ultra Magnus interjected. “If you are able, please lower the hatch for arrival, otherwise he will engage emergency stove—”

“No, don’t!”

It wasn’t just that they shouted at the same time, but that Rodimus and Ratchet’s voices matched in pitch, tone, and cadence which caused Magnus, for the third time in his life, to forget what he had been saying.

“Is Cyclonus there?” Rodimus asked.

“There’s something on board,” Ratchet said. “Don’t know what it is, but you can’t let anyone else get near it.”

“It did a weird thing. I’m Rodimus, but also I’m Ratchet? And both?”

“Those sound like the same things, Rodimus,” Magnus said, half distracted as he instructed Waverider to return to position.

“They’re not,” Ratchet said.

“Sir?” Cyclonus’ voice came as a blessing. Magnus gestured him forward.

“Cyclonus just arrived,” he announced. “Cyclonus, Rodimus and Ratchet uncovered something on Arcee’s shuttle. It’s…” He blanked.

“I can feel Ratchet’s processor,” Rodimus said, rushing like it would make any of this comprehensible. “He’s thinking and it’s all really fast and hard, but it’s not rough like you would expect? Like, the feeling of grit in your gears, I thought it would be like that, but it’s more like there’s just a lot of gears and it takes a lot of power to turn them all, and it’s too hard to decide whether to focus on just one or the entire thing. And he keeps thinking about me and my thoughts and how they’re not like that, and I’m thinking about him, and then I get stuck because all the thoughts start to sound the same and I don’t know which ones came from me or which are Ratchet or even which me is me. It’s all a big thought reservoir, a—a thought battle, an entire brain war and I don’t know which side I’m on!”

Cyclonus’ gaze was steady at the screen. Once it was clear that Rodimus was done, he leaned over the microphone.

“Can you send an image of the object?” he asked.

“Sure,” Ratchet said.

Blaster raised his hand.

“Image received.”

Ultra Magnus nodded and the feed of the shuttle was replaced with a still capture, a calamity of wires and light that took his visual center a full millisecond to parse.

“It’s the Enigma of Combination,” Cyclonus said.

“What’s that?” He could differentiate the orbital plating of the object itself and the red dwarf dew drop at its center, but the light it cast on its surroundings made his spark flicker with a disturbing fuzz.

“A plague,” Cyclonus said. “Considered a long-lost relic even in my own time. I would doubt this was the legitimate article, if Rodimus hadn’t so perfectly summarized its less infamous effects.”

“It can do more?” Magnus asked. What it had already done— whatever it had done, he still was not clear on the details—seemed itself too much for a bot to handle. Or two.

Cyclonus hesitated.

“Well, you see…”

“No. No, no, so much no, you’re kidding. Ratchet, tell me they’re kidding!”

“I don’t bloody well know!” he snapped back. He had sunk back into the pilot’s chair while Rodimus paced the bridge. His spark was spinning like a centrifuge, its engine overfed by the deluge of panicked thoughts tumbling through his mind. It was all Cyclonus and shuttle and Arcee and combination and Drift, new threads knocking each other out of the way so nothing could reach a conclusion, just endless half-thoughts pinged repeatedly. Worst was when Rodimus tripped over the junk now scattered across the bridge as it brought everything to a shuddering halt, like a whole expressway’s worth of engines seized up simultaneously.

He pressed his hands to his face and tried to focus on keeping his vents open, ignoring the storm of queries of Is Ratchet overheating? and Drift is going to kill me.

“I can’t be in a combiner with Ratchet!”

He hates me he hates me he hates me rattled around their processors like screws in a box.

“The Enigma has determined otherwise,” Cyclonus said.

So now the damn thing was having its own thoughts?

“It’s thinking ?” Rodimus asked, earning an additional glare from Ratchet.

“No one knows,” Cyclonus said. “It’s ancient technology, built on the same principles that govern sparks.” Principles that even modern science knew so little about. Ratchet was going to say it but froze when he felt Rodimus grab for it, tossing at it a hundred questions he had no answers to: Is that thing a person and Where do sparks come from and Would this stop if we broke it followed by another run of apologies.

“The Enigma has you in a holding pattern,” Cyclonus went on. “There aren’t enough of you to form the combiner, so it’s keeping your sparks connected until it can interface with at least one more Cybertronian.”

Ratchet saw the image that formed in Rodimus’ mind and his glower deepened.

“I don’t have the knowledge or the skills to disconnect something like that,” he said. “Sparks are complicated, Rodimus, and there’s still so much we don’t know about them. I didn’t even think it was possible to maintain a connection of this magnitude without direct contact.” Rodimus’ next idea was even worse. “Have you met your crew? The moment you put it in a box and tell no one to look, Brainstorm, Skids, and Whirl are all going to make breaking into it their personal quest.”

“Isolating the Enigma will not contain its effects,” Cyclonus added. “Because the holding pattern is an open channel, you have become conduits for the Enigma’s energies. If even one of you encounters another compatible component, it will complete the process, regardless of its distance from you.”

Rodimus stilled, then sunk to the floor, his thoughts miserably coalescing into a single thread.

“So, either we drag someone else into this mess, or we’re stuck in this shuttle, trying to think over each other forever?” Forever was steeped in darker emotions that caught Ratchet off-guard, which Rodimus immediately covered up with nonsense branches of observations about the junk on the floor. A negativity storm, Drift would have called it.

From behind, he heard Rodimus chuckle, though his thoughts betrayed little amusement.

“If I may,” Cyclonus said, interrupting no one. “Ratchet, I do respect you as a physician, but modern medicine is not the only source of knowledge concerning the Cybertronian body. Even modern theology, shallow thought it may be, offers insights to the nature of sparks that your specialty lacks.”

“No.” Ratchet scowled and shook his head, though more so at the way he felt Rodimus stirring that observation than the idea itself. “None of the woo-woo nonsense. Drift’s mindfulness agility course was bad enough.”

Unfortunately, his words made Rodimus’s thoughts expand in blooms, accompanied by shuffling as he stood to lean over the pilot’s chair.

“Drift was always trying to get me into his meditation thing,” he said. “He—he talked about the Rossum connection, how the mind impacts the spark and vice-versa. It was mostly, you know, power poses and cool sword moves, but there was more advanced stuff we didn’t get around to.”

“It could be a lead,” Cyclonus said, his grave voice somehow failing to make a dent in Rodimus’ growing enthusiasm. “I know very little about Spectralism, but if it involves manipulation of spark energies, there is a chance it could be used to counteract the effects of the Enigma.”

“Yeah, remember how Drift can see auras?” Rodimus said. “Maybe he can see where we’re tangled and just undo the knot.”

“There is no scientific backing to that kind of pandering—”

But we don’t have any other ideas.

Rodimus drew him up short, his own dearth of creativity reflected back to him as though in a mirror. Loathe though he was to admit it, Rodimus was right: they had nothing else. No leads, no one to fall back on. Cybertron’s history, the ancient mythologies that might have shed light on this technology, was lost to war and time, and all that was left was the third, fourth-hand accounts of people who claimed to know what was lost.

There was a chance Drift would have nothing to offer them, but even the possibility of guidance was an improvement over the helplessness Ratchet felt when he tried to imagine them fixing this on their own.

He received an image burst: Drift, wild and beautifully unhinged, leaping for the chance to care for Ratchet with literally open arms. Rodimus shut it down, distracting himself by counting rivets in the bridge ceiling, but vibrating embarrassment persisted between them.

“Would it be appropriate to call Drift for this?” Ultra Magnus asked, pulling the further from their internal squirming. “The truth about his role in the Overlord plan came out months ago, and since we’ve made no effort to contact him. To approach him now so he can solve this seems exploitative.”

Ratchet caught only the yellow of Rodimus’ hand before the captain vaulted over the back of the pilots’ chair, landing with a solid bang.

“I’ll take the blame,” he said.

“For what?” Ratchet asked, though he could already see it.

“For not fixing this sooner,” Rodimus said. He shrugged, a movement so automatic Ratchet did not pick up who it had been directed to. “I’m the captain. It was my responsibility and I failed. That shouldn’t doom Ratchet to having to live with my mistakes.”

He avoided Ratchet’s optics as he spoke, but Ratchet still caught his expression, the shiver of his spoiler as he spoke. It struck him that the reason Rodimus was so hard to read from an external perspective was because a single look meant so many things: frustration, guilt, grief, and hope piling on top of each other too quickly to discern where any one emotion rooted. His thoughts were going in so many directions all the time, of course it would be a challenge for everyone else to keep up.

“How do you intend to locate Drift?” Ultra Magnus asked, ever pragmatic.

“I have a tracker,” Ratchet said.

“I memorized the specifications for his shuttle,” Rodimus added, his processor spitting out the codes in full.

“And will that ship be adequate? Do you need additional supplies?”

Ratchet turned in the seat, looking around the scattered contents of the bridge, to say nothing of what their collision might have done to the storage down below. Despite the mess, he saw what looked like intact crates of potable energon, and the shuttle’s own systems were not in imminent danger of running dry.

“We’re stocked,” he said, and catching Rodimus’ primary concern, went on, “Unless Cyclonus know how far the Enigma’s effect extends, it’s going to be too risky to dock back in the Lost Light. We’ll make due with what’s here.”

“I’ll have Rewind compile you a list of known energon distributors with minority Cybertronian populations. That will be your best opportunity to refuel without risking exposure, should the need arise.”

Could the Enigma grab non-Cybertronian mechanicals? Rodimus wondered, a query Ratchet did not have the energy to entertain.

“Thanks, Mags,” Rodimus said out loud. “Take care of the place while we’re gone; you know the drill.”

“Of course, Rodimus. Uh, stay safe?”

Rodimus laughed, a sound that Ratchet felt as a golden thread, spun in a ripple through space before vanishing to nothing. He squinted, trying to make sense of what the hell that had been, but Rodimus’ burst of enthusiasm and plans for the coming journey overwhelmed him.

“Don’t worry, Ratchet’s pride will make sure I get back in one piece.”

You—!

It was going to be a long journey to the outer rim. Though Rodimus was grinning cheekily, the tense coil at the center of his thoughts agreed.

#maccadam #transformers #rodimus #ratchet #my writing #longfic #fault lines

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rosierocks30 · 4 years

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Hidden: Ch.9

Chapter 9: Love, Passion, and Desire

Somewhere in Paradis Isle, Eren had been writing a letter to his older brother, Zeke since they both decided to be separate so neither of them got caught.

For many months, the Titan shifter couldn’t get over the rejection of Queen Historia. At first, he thought; what does she see in Captain Levi? Eren had a lot of respect for his former captain, but it confused him how these two end up being together? They have so many differences. He can guess, Historia was probably into older men. After all, didn’t she tell him that her mother was around her age when she was seeing Lord Reiss? Historia’s father was twice older than her mother yet they had Historia.

The younger Jaeger finished his letter then tucked it into an envelope to be ready to send soon. They were preparing for the war coming soon. Eren was ready to unleash The Rumbling that Ymir Fritz showed him through the Path.

He had been thinking about what his brother said before they split up into different directions.

(Flashback)

“What’s your backing up plan if we can’t access The Rumbling?” Zeke sat on a tree trunk while drinking a canteen of water.

Eren was already contemplating the question. “If we can’t do it soon then we’ll wait, until it’s the right time.” He sighed and glanced at his brother. “I had a dream last night. There were people screaming and running from some weird light destroying their city. It looked too advanced. Then it shifted to two figures running and jumping on some glass-like surface to climb up in a strange building to see a group of humans working on metals and fire wielding tools to melt the metals into shapes. A woman appeared to explain to me this was what humans were before the collapse of an ancient civilization used to exist.”

Zeke was concerned about what Eren had dreamt. “What ancient civilization do you refer to? This dream of yours is getting bizarre. Maybe we need to get rid of that strange sphere object that you found in the ruins of Reiss’s chapel. All it does is make you crazy and I need you to be focused.” he scolded Eren.

“No! We can’t get rid of it. This object holds the key to humanity and our freedom.” Eren glared at his brother while holding the sphere possessively.

Zeke rubbed his temple spots from frustration of his little brother’s behavior. “Eren, that thing is causing you nothing but trouble. You kept mumbling in your sleep about finding your Eve. Who is this Eve?” He asked.

Eren keeps thinking about what he dreamt last night. All he can think of is the woman with a strange dress. She said her name was Minerva. So what does Minerva want him to find this Eve? He had contacted Ymir through the Path, but she doesn’t know anything what his dream meant. All she said was that Minerva is ancient. The origin of humanity is not what it seems.

“I don’t know. I just know I need to find her.” Eren said with determination.

(End of Flashback)

The green-eyed man stared down at the sphere. The Apple of Eden. This object had given him other dreams or should he say visions. These visions were the past that humanity had forgotten through thousands of years.

Eren puts the object back into the drawer of the night stand next to the bed. He walked out of his room that was checked in from an inn. As the titan shifter keeps walking on the streets, he accidentally bumps into a stranger.

“Oh sorry for bumping you.” He looks up at the stranger to see they’re steel grey.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t see where I was going.” This stranger is a woman. Her accent is not from here nor Marleyan. The way she spoke Eldian was not obviously her first language. She does seem foreigner. Where is she from? This woman does look cute.

Eren rubbed his brown hair shyly. Why was he blushing over some stranger he just literally met. She is very attractive, don’t get him wrong, but he still has strong feelings for Historia. Well, he wants to believe his feelings are real. Zeke told him it was his craziness from the object that made him think they were real. Eren doesn’t know anymore what’s real or not.

“It’s fine. It was an accident. You don’t seem like you're here? Are you a foreigner?” He said.

The woman was caught off guard. Maybe she’s some spy? The unknown woman stepped back. “Yeah...what of it? Can this foreigner enjoy her vacation.” She said in a defensive tone.

He uses his hands to make a surrender gesture to her. “No no you can enjoy your vacation. Sorry, it’s just...your accent gave away.” He resumes observing the woman in the front of him. Her brown hair flows as the light breeze passes by between them. Her skin tone was a bit tan with yellow undertone. As his eyes lower further down, he likes what he sees. Her body toned well, probably from working out. Her clothes were unique but it looked good on her. The trouser pants were tight and the blouse was black with two thin straps on her shoulders. Is this woman trying to get men’s attention or she’s not aware her choice of clothing can get her in serious trouble.

“Hey buddy, I know I’m hot, but my eyes are up here.” Her voice snapped his trance back to reality. Well shit, he’s embarrassed.

“You know what your wearing can give a man the wrong message.” He warned her.

Her brow raised up. Seriously this woman kind of reminds him of someone he used to idolize as a kid during his Scouts years.

“And what message do I seem to give? You are a man, so what is that message I am giving to you?” Her lips form into a smirk. Eren doesn’t know how to respond to that. This woman is bold but mysterious too.

“Well um...I-I…” Eren’s face was flushed from still struggling to respond. He took off his trench coat and put it on the woman. “Just be careful ok. You’re lucky, you bumped into me and not some creep.”

The brown haired woman was a bit startled by his gentlemanly actions. She let him put her on his coat. “Thanks.”

Eren nodded then walked away. Before he vanished from the woman’s view, she stopped him. “Wait! Where do you live so I can give it back to you?” She asked.

His head turned around to glance at her. “You can drop it off at the inn in front of you. Just say you’re looking for Eren.” He thought about giving away his full name, but since he is a wanted man, it’s smart not to give away his true identity.

“So your name is Eren? Nice to meet you. You can call me...Eve.” She said.

This caught his attention. Eve? He took a glimpse one more time to see her already gone through the crowds. He remembered what Minerva in his dreams said. Find your Eve. He resumed walking to his destination thinking about the bold woman he just met.

(Somewhere in the capitol)

The sunlight hits through the balcony to warm up the skins of two figures enjoying their afternoon activity. The sound of the bed squeaking loud along the moans.

“Oh my Lord! Nathaniel.” Gilbert moans from the ecstasy of the orgasm he received.

“My beautiful Gilly, your moans are heaven to me.” He showered his lover with praises.

“As long I pleased you, I am satisfied.” Gilbert blushed.

“You always have pleased me especially the assassination of Premier Zackely that you succeed.” The templar smiled.

“But now Dot Pixis is the new Premier. It should have been one of our men.” Gilly frowned from the result of his mission.

“Don’t be upset. Darius Zackely was a dangerous man. He was so closed to figure out my connections with The Templars and planning to dethrone that Whore. Who would ever thought, both the queen and the captain are expecting soon.” He growled in anger from all his hard work that was about to be revealed. Luckily, silencing Zackely made it possible to continue his work.

“Will you still try to marry her?” The thought of his lover marrying someone else still hurts him.

“In order to be King, yes I must.” Nathaniel cups his hands on Gilbert’s cheek. “Listen Gilbert, she’s just going to be my queen for temporary until she gives me a proper heir.”

“What about the current unborn child she is carrying?” Gilbert said.

“With Ackerman blood running in its veins, the unborn baby will be just a personal bodyguard or will be groomed to be a templar.” Nathan was not cruel enough to end a child’s life whether they were threatening to be on the throne.

“Soon our plan is about to be executed and this island will be ours.” Nathan smiled while kissing Gilbert’s neck softly. The both lovers continue their lovemaking which they pre-celebrated their plan will be achieved soon.

(Military base in Marley)

Reiner was heading to visit his family before leaving for the coastline where you can see The Devil’s Island or Paradise Isle.

He missed his mother’s cooking. Already his cousin, Gabi arrived at his mother’s home probably helping out making dinner.

A shadow passed by him to get into a dark alley. This caught his eye as he turned to the left. Reiner couldn’t see who it was, but the figure was covered in an odd thick white sweater with a hood attached to it. The figure was a bit smaller than him. So the Armored Titan runs after this figure. If he caught this spy, Reiner would get more praised as a Warrior and they won’t keep doubting him of his loyalty to his country.

The figure began to climb up the wooden storage boxes to get on the rooftop without an effort.

“Hey, stop there spy!” He shouted while getting up to the rooftop.

The figure stopped but it was several feet away from him. Reiner could see a glimpse of black long hair stick out as the breeze made the locks float along. The face was still hidden half way, but Reiner could see the person’s pink lips and creamy skin tone.

This spy would be a female. The blond man started to run after her. The “spy” quickly paced away. When she reaches the edge of the roof, Reiner grins as he is so close to capture.

“You can’t escape.” He said.

The figure glanced across to estimate the other rooftop building was enough for her to make a jump. Then she ran to leap on the other roof. Her body rolls smoothly to the surface. Reiner frowned that she managed to make it. He decided to also make a leap to catch up to the woman. He will not let this spy escape.

Once he gained enough speed to make a jump from the edge of the rooftop, he landed and rolled down with minor scratches. He gets up to resume his chase.

As the mysterious figure reaches another “deadend”, she stops to calculate where to escape next. Shit, remember what one of the Assassin Masters said in her training. When she was about to make another leap, Reiner tackled her down which they fell off the roof to a pile of empty carton boxes in another alley.

“I got you, spy.” Reiner glared down as he removed the hood.

He was shocked to see those dark eyes. “Mikasa Ackerman? What are your intentions here in Marley?”

Mikasa growls at him while kneeling him to the diaphragm hard. He lost his breathing pattern as he began to cough. Mikasa rolls to get up, but Reiner reaches quick of her ankle to make her trip.

“Oh no, you’re not escaping.” He pinned her to make sure she does try to wiggle her way out.

“Oh fuck you traitor! Like I would tell you why I’m here.” She gives off her infamous Ackerman glare.

“If you answered my questions maybe I will let you go.” He said. A part of him wants to let her go since she was a former comrade of his. He held so much respect for the raven haired woman. The Eldian-Marleyan soldier had an inter battle with himself.

“Like you would keep your promise?” She chuckled sarcastically.

“You are an enemy. I’m just a fellow who follows the rules.” He said.

Mikasa was thinking of a way to escape. Well, fuck she’s screw. He knows she’s here in Marley. There’s a chance Reiner will report to his superiors and will send a group of soldiers after her. Her mission is about to be ruined.

“Aren’t you a good little soldier.” Her eyes roll at him.

“I see you still haven’t answered any of my questions, Ackerman.” He grinned down his teeth in annoyance.

“And I see you’re still pinning me down but we both can’t get what we want right now.” She said.

She thought about to headbutt him then stab him with her hidden blade, but Mikasa doesn’t have the guts to seriously harm a former friend. Her memories with Reiner in Cadet years were good enough not wanting to kill him. Yes, he done stupid shit like kidnaping Eren in the past along with Bertholdt and Ymir. The newly assassin noticed that Reiner had grown well into a fine man. That was a disturbing thought.

“You were never the type with sarcasm.” He pointed out.

“Things had changed since you and Bertholdt had betrayed us.” Mikasa said.

She had a crazy idea that could help her get out of his grasp. Mikasa stared into him. Before Reiner continues talking, she leans towards him to catch him off guard to press her lips on his. Of course, like she predicted, Reiner was shocked by Mikasa’s bold action. What the raven haired beauty didn’t predict is the way she is kissing him. His lips were soft but firm.

Reiner becomes lost in the way her pink soft lips move so well adjusted against his own. He deepens the kiss to win by dominating the kiss. Of course, she won’t let that happen easily. Mikasa licks his bottom lip to have them open enough to stick her tongue and explore.

Oh fuck, he taste so good and forbidden-wait what? What is she saying?! Being lost from the tasting Reiner, the newly assassin snapped back into reality. Mikasa surprised Reiner by kneeing him with force into his gut with her knee then knocked him off of her with a high kick to the head. The titan shifter rolled a few feet away from her. The dark haired beauty Ackerman gets up to finally escape before he regains that hard kick to his head.

While she vanished from his view, Reiner was overwhelmed with mixed emotions of what just had happened right now. Did she and him just kiss? Reiner Braun was not the ladies man as his comrades like to think. His mind was always about the missions and duties for his motherland country. Distraction was out of the question. The blonde bulky man touched his lips that’s still warm and tingling from the spontaneous kiss with Mikasa Ackerman, his supposed enemy.

(Survey Corps Headquarter in Mitras)

William Miles was in the court yard where Scouts soldiers spar or work out. Since he had been residing here, his assassins also reside here to plan and spar each other or with other soldiers. His grandson’s squad are quick to pick up moves during their training as new recruits. With the deal he and Levi made, this gives the team the opportunity to head on into battle when war comes. Bill had finally met the queen one on one in the months early. He was pleased his granddaughter in law was the perfect image of what most assassin's want in a spouse. She encouraged Levi to train under him. Levi was too stubborn, but he will listen to his wife or Hange or his comrades. Since yesterday, both family members finally had that closure they needed. His son, Jacob wanted his girlfriend and son to live in a better place. Of course, it was too late when he died to be able to fulfill that promise to Kuchel. She died without knowing what had happened to his son. The poor girl. He had helped dig up her grave with Levi to take her remains to at least buried her along with his son. Maybe this will bring peace for the mother of his first grandchild.

The mentor assassin had another shocking news. One his assassins residing in New Your City found out his younger son, Desmond had a child too. Seriously, what the fuck were his sons were thinking? Didn’t they ever carry a damn condom ever? Don’t get him wrong. He is happy finding out he has another grandson, but the poor boy isn’t lucky from being hostage under Abstergo, the templars main corporation to try to dominate the world.

This made the elder man furious that these scums dared to make this baby another of their “subjects”. For fuck’s sake, it’s a god damn infant. They are taking way too far for collecting his bloodline’s data. What are they exactly looking for? Adam and Eve? He chuckled sarcastically at that thought.

For months, he was getting updates on his infant grandson, Elijah. He put the same assassin undercover as a staff in that company to make sure nothing dangerous happened to his other grandchild. He needs time to make a risky plan to get the baby out of the templars’ grasp. Levi was in rage when he also found out about his infant cousin. He was ready to go there and wipe out anyone there.

(Flashback)

“Are you fucking shitty me?! I don’t know who’s the worst, the sickos in Underground City or the Templars? ‘Cause to me both are at the same level in harming little babies.” Levi ranted while his blood boiled in rage for finding out about his little cousin. This world is a cruel place even without Titans involved.

“Levi, I am enraged as much as you are, but we need to be level headed. We’ll make a careful calculated plan to rescue the baby. He deserves to be here with us, his family. I already sent one of my assassins to keep an eye on him. I just want to tell you because he’s your baby cousin.” Miles said with a calm tone. Levi has every right to be furious, but to get into blood rage won’t end well for anyone.

“But after the war, we’ll get him or I’ll go myself.” Levi said.

“We’ll save him together...don’t worry, I promise.” Bill was already behind Levi as his hand placed on his grandson’s shoulder to comfort him.

(Flashback ends)

William Miles was in front of Commander Hange’s office door then knocked softly to let her know it’s him.

“Come in.” Her tone seemed to be distracted when a knock was heard.

He opened the door to see Hange absorb into her own side projects. Bill closed the door then sat on the chair in front of the desk. “Did I come in at a bad time?”

“Hm? Oh no, you’re fine. I was just doing light reading before I called it a day. So what can I do for you, Bill?” Hange closed her book on Astro-Phycis Theories. Bill raised his eyebrow to notice that her book doesn’t seem light to him.

“You are a very strange woman if you consider that light reading.” He said.

Hange laughed at his comment. She adjusts her glasses. “I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Oh trust me. It’s definitely a good thing, Zoe.” Bill grinned and got up to go towards where she’s sitting. The commander was confused when she felt his warm lips on hers. This is a surprising turn for Zoe. Both Miles and Hange had been flirting but never had the made. Some of the Scout soldiers and assassins laid a bet on who would make the move or how long will happen? This finally made Levi confront his grandfather about Hange in the morning.

(Flashback)

“Oi old man. When will you have the balls to make a move on Four Eyes? Because I don’t need a distracting Commander every time you two get flirty but don’t do shit. And trust me, she rarely gets distracted unless it’s a new science like Titan related or something.” Levi barged into his old room since he let his grandfather have it.

“Well good morning you to my dear grandson.” He sat up from the bed and yawned.

“Tch. Why are you still in bed anyways? Do you know what time it is?” Levi scolded at Bill.

The mentor glanced at his cellphone to see the time. “Damn it Levi, it’s 6 am. Why do you have to wake me up that early?” He rubbed his eyes.

“What the hell do you mean early? Everyone had been awake since 4 am.” The raven haired soldier rolled his eyes.

“I stood up most of the night to help Zoe on the security measures on the coastline close to Marley.” He yawned again.

“And yet I’m surprised both of you didn’t jump on each other. You and Four Eyes are like shy teenagers that are too afraid to make a move.” Levi mumbled while running his finger on the hard surface of the furniture. His fingers gather dust which his expression becomes disguised and annoyed. “You should clean this room. It’s filthy.”

The older man flopped on the mattress and groaned in annoyance. Seriously, this boy has OCD or something. “Levi, can we talk about this later when I’m fully awake.”

On Levi’s other hand, he holds his cup of tea as he sips. “Tch, just giving you advice, Hange is not the type to make the first move since she loves to analyze anything including then men she starts to have feelings with. So don’t take long to do or you’ll miss your chance.”

Bill was silent but absorbed what his grandson had said. He has also been distracted too whenever he secretly ogles at messy brown haired beauty. Maybe he should consider what Levi said. Bill can’t believe he’s being given advice by his own grandson on making a move.

(Flashback end)

Bill moans from the kiss as he can feel Zoe’s arms wrapped around his neck and pressed against each other. The mentor assassin already had the commander on her desk sitting while he slowly made her laid on the hard surface. Most of the stuff was on the floor since Hange quickly swept off to clear the desk after the first surprise kiss from Bill.

She blushed from the way his eyes were clouded with lust. It’s been a long time since she has been with a man. The first time meeting William was filled with curiosity. As a few months had passed they flirted here and there, but neither one didn’t make a move. It could be a culture boundary or age gap issue, but Commander Zoe Hange never had attempted to make a move in her life. She may not be shy in general but when it comes to her love life, she becomes lost that not even science can’t help her.

For an old man, he looks younger than his age. He could pass in his 50s, but then again Levi looks younger than what he is. Must be in the family.

All her thoughts were gone when Bill kissed down her neck to the valley of her breasts. Huh? She didn’t feel his hands undo her white blouse. Her ponytail was undone too.

Hange moaning softly from his tongue running on top of her breasts. She quickly let the blouse slide off of her and her bra is now on display for him to see.

Bill stopped to admire how flushed her face was and her hair was spread out on her desk. Her chest rose up and down from breathing heavily. To him, she already looks magnificently beautiful.

“Well, this is not what I expect but I’m not complaining.” She chuckled while playfully undoing his shirt.

“Good, I wanted you ever since we met.” He took off his shirt when she undo his buttons. William begins to grind on her. Zoe aggressively kisses his neck while pulling his hair.

“I wanted you as well. It had been frustrating getting off from thinking of you instead feeling your touch.” Hange mumbling as Miles takes off her pants. His warm hand caressing from her ankle to her inner thigh. Her breath panting harder. Her panties start to get soak from the wetness she has been producing from his kisses and touches.

“Ah, you have been thinking of me? Show me when you do when you think of me.” Bill leans to her ear to whisper.

The commander slowly let her fingers travel down her body then stopped to rub the hem of her panties. She can tell how William’s eyes become darker while following the movement of her fingers going further below. Zoe smirks as her finger hooks on the hem to carefully pull down the fabric garment to teasingly reveal her dark small pubic hairs. The way Bill’s tongue licks on his lips made her moan erotically. Oh fuck, how hot he looks the way he stares at her like a starve animal.

She continues to pull down until it's off from her legs. Her finger presses on her clit to start rotating gently as a wave of pleasure spreads out on her body. Hange moaning low his name which he stops her to resume by him instead.

“You’re beautiful, Zoe. Don’t forget that.” His lips kissed her neck again.

“Am I?” She has mixed feelings of being called beautiful. Most of her life, she never considers herself to try to be pretty. What’s the point when she has a brain to make her standout from everyone? The first time someone looked at her as a woman and called her beautiful was her former lover. He died an honorable hero for leading the retake of Shiganshina. That was long ago. Erwin would tell her everyday so she would one day accept that she always has beauty too in her unique way.

“Yes.” Bill glanced at her with a soft but determined look. He was still fingering her deep which arched her back of the ecstasy of pleasure.

Her eyes get watery then growls with desire to have him pounding her. Her hands make way to his pants to undo them roughly. “Fuck me now please..”

He chuckled and let her undo his pants. “Someone is eager.” He teased her.

“Of course, for months I have to use my imagination of your dick pounding me, unless with your old age; you’re impotent to keep up my stamina.” Her tone was playfully as she looked into his eyes.

“Oh my genius Zoe. I may be old, but I can still fuck your brains out. You forget that I’m an assassin. My stamina will not be an issue.” He smirks wickedly. Hange couldn’t help feel the excitement of what Bill will do to her.

“Guess you have to remind me.” The Commander of the Survey Corps grins while whispering. A loud gasp came out from her lips when she felt his manhood entering her.

“I certainly will.” He moans while adjusting himself inside her. His dark eyes stared into her honey brown eyes.

As the rhythmic of their bodies move as one, the new lovers keep embracing the passion that ignites from the months of pining for each other.

Meanwhile on the other side of the Commander’s door, three figures walking pass by until they heard moans.

“Connie, do you hear that?” Jean stops to listen where that noise is coming from.

“Yeah, probably it’s a ghost or something.” Connie shrugs.

Then a louder noise was heard. “Oh harder! Harder, harder!” A feminine voice made erotic noise.

“That’s one horny ghost all right.” Mario, one of William’s assassins grin as he has an idea where the noise came from. Both Survey Corps soldiers finally get what their new friend was saying and blushes while all three walk away from the noise.

A/N: Hello guys! Sorry this chapter took so long. It’s been another busy week for me and I tried to get it done before Christmas. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! Also, Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than the last one. I hope this chapter will do for you all until the next one. See you guys later until next time with Ch.10. Love you all!

#rivahisu #levihisu #reikasa #male oc x male oc #hange x william #levi ackerman #historia reiss #reiner braun #mikasa ackerman #zoe hange #william miles #fanfic crossover #snk #aot #attack on titan #assassin's creed

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planetsam · 5 years

Note

"Now i feel how it's like to be left behind and i wish i never came back from war." for Malex please. Alex is spiraling into depression after Michael got together with Maria.

“Are you Michael? Alex’s friend?”

Michael frowns and fights the urge to deny he has that title. The voice on the other end definitely doesn’t seem to care about the situation and Michael doesn’t actually want to share. So he swipes his hand through his curls and ignores the emotions that title brings up.

“Yeah,” he says, “what’s going on?”

“He’s down at the Fourth Encounter. I took his keys but he’s being stubborn.”

“I’m on my way,” Michael says.

He gets in the car with the energy under his skin crackling. He hasn’t seen Alex in weeks and Alex hasn’t tried to see him. It’s another unspoken thing that Michael doesn’t have room for. But he’s seen Alex subtly taking medications before. Medications that he’s willing to bet aren’t supposed to be taken with alcohol. He’s never seen Alex truly drunk and he’s got a feeling the experience is not going to be pleasant. He almost wonders why Alex just didn’t go to the Wild Pony, but in his heart he knows.

When he gets there the music is loud and it’s a lot darker than any place he expected to find Alex in. It’s not that he doesn’t know about the local gay bar, it’s just not his style. You don’t need to like loud music and neon to be bisexual as far as he can tell. It’s the middle of the week so things are toned down and it’s a little more empty, which is how he easily finds Alex. Even before the bartender signals him.

“Hey,” he says, “you ready to go?”

“You called him?” Alex says, looking at the bartender. Michael can’t be sure but he thinks Alex blushes, “traitor,” he mutters and then turns to Michael with a smile that makes Michael regret picking up his phone, “I’m good.”

“I’m exhausted, so let’s go,” he says. Alex ignores him, “look, I’ll call a cab and just wait with you.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Alex says.

Michael far prefers it when he’s the one getting wasted. But he hooks his fingers in the stool and tries to turn it. Of course he forgets Alex is the bionic man and when he hooks his metal ankle into the chair, that thing isn’t turning unless Michael goes full alien. He’s sure as fuck not being outed as an extra terrestrial to the general population in a bar called the Fourth Encounter. He’s also not leaving Alex there to drink himself silly.

“Look they 86’ed you here, but if you come with me I can take you to a place where there’s more,” he tempts.

“I’m not going near the Pony, thanks,” Alex says in a clipped tone. He gets up and Michael takes his keys from the bartender, “Guerin—“

“No drinking and driving,” Michael reminds him, “you want a cab or can I drive?”

Alex looks at him for a moment longer and then shakes his head. Michael swears because he remembers that Alex is a computer genius and can probably start his car with his phone. He intercepts and shoves it in his pocket alongside the keys. The sour expression on Alex’s face confirms the theory. Michael would be impressed if he didn’t have to get Alex home safe. Alex gets out into the parking lot and even now he glances around to make sure no-one he recognizes is there before he looks around for something else.

“Come on Alex,” Michael says, “just let me take you home.”

“I don’t want you to take me home,” Alex snaps at him, “I don’t need you to do that.”

Michael tries not to focus on the fact that Alex said he doesn’t need him. He refuses to let his own issues hurt Alex again. Alex can go as low as he wants. He’s drunk and upset and though Michael wants to ask why, he knows it’s not his place.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “fine. But I’ve got your phone and keys, so—“

Alex’s look of disgust should go in a photobook. But Michael knows he’s fucking right. Alex hangs his head as Michael counts in his before Alex walks over to Michael’s truck and gets in. Michael keeps his back to him so he can salute the stars for doing something right for once. Then he gets in, starts his car and pulls onto the road. Michael lets the silence swell up between them because his truck’s radio is currently on the fritz. He used to be able to be around Alex for hours and it was a comfortable silence. That’s not true anymore. When he can’t take the silence and its tension. He looks at Alex.

“So, why not the Pony?” He asks.

“Because you’re dating Maria.”

The sharpness in Alex’s voice is not what Michael expects. He almost swerves the car at the reply. Alex frowns and reaches for the radio dial but nothing happens. For the first time Michael’s not pissed about that. “We’re not dating,” he says, “we’re—“

“Screwing? Having a good time?”

“Jesus, Alex,” Michael isn’t ready for the accusation in his tone. Alex stares at him and Michael tries to focus on the road, “what do you want me to say? Yes. We’re having a good time,” he glances at him, “is that what you want me to say?” He shakes his head, “I like her. I like having a good time. You’ve never had a problem with it before.”

“You are sleeping with my friend!” Alex says, “not some random girl.”

“So what if I am?” Michael challenges back. Alex looks away and Michael makes a split second decision and pulls over, “so what if I am?” He repeats. Alex glares at the road a moment longer and then turns to look at him, “why do you have a problem with it now?”

“I always had a problem with it,” Alex says and Michael feels smug right up until he opens his mouth again, “and you knew that I did,” the smugness goes away, “this isn’t some random hook up. It’s Maria.”

“I like her!” Michael protests, “I”m sorry, but—no. You know what? I’m not sorry. I like her,” he looks at him, “you can’t tell me who to like,” he points out, “you can’t just sit there and be a jealous dick without doing anything.”

“I did something—“

“After ten years!” Michael snaps, “ten years and you think me sleeping with Maria is the be all end all—“

“Michael if you’re using her,” Alex starts and Michael lets out a hollow laugh.

“You’re gonna what?” Alex says nothing, “throw me in a cell? Lock up the big bad alien?”

Alex glares and then shakes his head.

“You being an asshole is the most human thing about you,” he says. That stings more than Michael wants to admit. But if he’s an asshole, he’ll be an asshole, “we don’t lock people up for that.”

“No you that’s an off the books job,” he says, wiggling his fingers.

Alex stares at him and Michael puts on every defiance he can muster to meet his gaze, waiting for the return blow. Alex wants a fight and fuck it, he’ll give him one. Maybe it’ll be good for both of them. They clearly need the release. Or maybe he needs it. Maybe it’s his turn to be selfish in this for once and take what he needs. He feels himself ready in anticipation. Drunk Alex is mean, drunk Alex will fight him. But Drunk Alex is as much of a dick as sober Alex because he just looks ahead.

“Can we go?”

“No,” Michael says, adrenaline coursing through him, “do you wish you could lock me up?” he demands, clinging to the last thing that got a rise out of him. Alex shifts, “you do wish that, don’t you?”

“I wish,” Alex says, finally turning back to him, “that I never came back here after the war.”

The words hang heavy and poisonous in the air.

“Take that back,” Michael says. Alex says nothing, “take that back!”

He doesn’t know if Alex means he wishes he had died from the war or if he means he wishes he hadn’t come back to Roswell. Neither of those are things Michael wants to think about. If Alex never came back—Michael thinks about all the shit that’s happened since he got back. All the things he now knows and all the things he’s shared. Alex is being drunk and dramatic but Michael can’t have the words there. Can’t have that possibility existing.

“No.”

“Then we’re not going,” he says impulsively.

“Fine,” Alex says and gets out of the car.

Michael stares and then follows. Alex is walking remarkably straight for someone with one leg, but Michael doesn’t stop to think about that too hard. He’s far more concerned about the fact that Alex is drunk and walking down the side of the road.

“I thought you weren’t running away,” Michael challenges and Alex hesitates before continuing to walk. But it’s enough for Michael to get in front of him, “come on, Alex. I thought we were past this. Why’d they call me at the bar?”

Alex says nothing.

“Come on, Alex. Why’d they call me?”

“You know why!” Alex says, turning back to him so suddenly they almost crash into each other, “I was at your trailer waiting while you were—“ he stops and takes a breath, “I’m not you,” he restarts, “you not being there to be with her is a big deal for me.”

“For you?” Michael repeats, letting the anger he’s been shoving down forever swell up, “you think it wasn’t a big deal to me every time you left? Every time you walked away? I told myself that if I ever told you what I was, things would be different. But it’s the same! My family is dead. Max is in a coma and the thing that keeps me awake at night is the fact that I can’t look away and it hurts.”

He doesn’t mean to say so much, he regrets the words the moment they leave his lips. Alex looks away and Michael tries not to feel that in his bones. He fails, hopelessly. But the fact that Alex thinks it doesn’t kill him every damn time is something he can’t have any version of Alex believing. Even this drunk, angry version of him.

“I can’t make it stop hurting,” Alex says.

“Neither can I,” Michael shoots back.

“So where does that leave—“ he cuts himself off. Michael wonders if he’s done the impossible and actually made Alex leave for real this time, “seeing you with her hurts.”

“So we’re just hurting each other,” Michael throws his hands up, “like we don’t have enough problems.” He feels dirty as he looks at Alex, Alex whose the third person Michael’s ever wanted to protect. “I can’t keep doing this.”

“There’s nothing here for you to keep doing,” Alex says, a note of something truly heartbreaking in his voice, “that’s what I’m trying to say. Maria’s my friend. Any way you look at this I can’t go there again with you.”

Michael feels like he’s been dunked in ice. Of all the things that he thought could come out of this, Alex telling him that he can’t be with him because Maria is his friend is not one of them. But Alex has that brow furrow that comes in moments of honesty and Michael realizes he’s serious. Now the pain he feels when he looks at him is even worse. Heavier and sharper somehow. It’s tangible in a way it wasn’t before. No words seem to come to him as Alex blinks and looks away.

“Can we be friends?” Michael asks.

“I don’t know,” Alex says.

Another thing that never occurred to him. It has to be because Alex is drunk. It has to be. Maybe he’ll find some kind of luck and Alex won’t remember the conversation in the morning. Maybe this is some horrible future he can prevent if he’s strong enough and smart enough.

“For now we are so let me get you home,” he says, “before any more of it hits you.”

Alex looks at him for a moment and then nods. They don’t speak on the way back. Alex actually starts to doze against the window and Michael winces at every stupid bump in the road. He helps Alex out of the car and up to his front door and when Alex fumbles his keys, Michael hitches him against his hip and opens the door. Inside he gets Alex to bed and crouches down, helping get his shoes off. Alex watches him in the darkness and Michael focuses just on the task at hand.

“Do you want this on or off?” He asks.

“Off, just, put it where I can see it.”

A though occurs to him about Alex stumbling around the bedroom and Michael fights the urge to move all the furniture aside. Alex is capable and he’s just being an idiot, but what else is new. He sets the prosthetic within arms reach and puts Alex’s phone and keys on the nightstand. Alex eases himself back and turns away from Michael.

“I take it back,” he mutters.

Michael hangs his head. It hurts to look at Alex and it hurts to look away. He doesn’t see that changing any time in the near future. He make sure Alex’s shoes are away and his cane is nearby and then he has to put down all his bullshit and leave.

“I love you,” he says to the dark shape.

If Alex will remember in the morning, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything as he stands there except that the longer he does, the more he wants to stay.

So he gives up the easy, does the hard thing and leaves.

Part 2 is here | Part 3 is here

#michael guerin #alex manes #malex #roswell nm fanfic #roswell new mexico #michael x alex #prompts #malex fic

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thedyingmoon · 5 years

Text

💚 See Me Now ��

***

XVIII. Outrage

***

Levi kicked the door open to Erwin's office, and it was fortunately not destroyed thanks to his pathetic and worsening condition. He barged in and found Erwin and Hange there, both looking gloomy. They were also both silent.

"It's (L/N)!" Levi said, showing the note to them which was handed to him by Nifa. "She went out to find the antidote! We must go there, too - "

The Captain suddenly stopped talking as he noticed the look of complete apathy in their faces. It's as if they already know what happened to (F/N), and they don't even care whether she gets back or not.

"Please, stay calm, Levi." said Hange in an uncharacteristic monotone.

"You're telling me to stay calm?" Levi said, wanting so much to shake the scientist violently. "How about you, two? Why are you so calm?"

Erwin turned to look at him, showing him his bloodshot eyes. This pretty much unnerved Levi, since it was the first time he saw him looking like that.

"We must put our trust in her." he simply said to Levi. "She'll heal you, of that I'am certain."

"She'll heal me?! What if those men kill her? We don't even know where she went!"

"We do." Hange said.

Levi looked at Hange, strode towards her, then grabbed her by the collar. "You knew, and you're not doing anything?!"

Hange suddenly looked at him with such cold eyes. She grabbed Levi's collar and pushed him forcefully away. He landed on the floor right in front of her, his back complaining with the sudden pain.

"You sound very much like you care for her, Levi." she said to him. "When, in fact, you don't."

Levi's eyes grew wide upon realizing that they're still not aware of what he did to (F/N) last night. "No! I - "

"You shouldn't be acting like that. Go back to your office and forget everything that happened. Carry on, as usual."

"What the fuck?! You expect me to go back there without doing anything? That girl would be killed because of me!"

Levi stared at the two and he immediately felt that he was only looking at a pair of statues and not his friends.

How could they be so cold? They like (F/N), right?

"Levi, that girl died many times before." Hange said and looked at him with her apathetic face. "If you're saying she'll get killed because of you, you're wrong. She already died many times, because of you."

Levi couldn't deny the fact that he was really awful to the girl because of very selfish reasons. He loved Petra to the point of blindness that he failed to see other people who cared for him. He loved Petra too much that he failed to see (F/N)'s efforts to care for him in his time of need. Despite him pushing her away.

He looked down, ashamed of what he was asking Erwin and Hange to do for (F/N). He had no right, whatsoever, to ask them to save her because, he, himself, had no care in the world whether (F/N)'s safe or not.

But, now, he really wanted to save her, and not just because he was guilty of what he did to her. She deserved to be saved. He knew it the moment he found out the whole truth of her miserable life, how she worked hard to be in the Legion to serve him while being bullied and trampled many times by the people around her because of the woman he once loved, but now loathed, and how she still remained loyal to him despite everything he did to her.

Heck, (F/N) had every right to condemn him, herself, to hell. She's innocent.

And now, he's not sure whether she's still alive or not.

Because of him.

"Don't bother yourself with her, Levi." Erwin said and sighed, feeling as if the whole world was on his shoulders. "Remain what you are right now. There's nothing you can do to save her. We need you more than her. So, please, Levi. Do as I say."

What the hell did you just say?! And I thought you had a thing for her!

"Shame on you." Levi said, glaring with much hate at them. He walked away, unable to bear the sight of his two most trusted friends who couldn't do anything to save one girl. "Shame on myself, as well,..."

He closed the door behind him, feeling outraged with the two.

If you won't help me, I'll do it, myself. Even if it kills me.

He went to the direction of the underground cellars, thinking of the only thing he could do to possibly locate her. If they won't tell him anything, he'll find it out for himself.

His footsteps echoed through the dungeons, and with every step he took to get closer to the one person he wanted to see, he was getting more and more nauseous. It was as if something evil was trying to possess his mind and at the same time robbing him of what's left of his vitality. The place also smelled like dead rats. He really wanted to get this over and done with.

When he finally arrived there, he fought the urge to throw up.

Right there, chained and beaten, was the old woman who injected him with the anti - Ackerman serum. And he found out that she was not really a woman, after all, but a really obnoxious man in tattered disguise.

Levi grasped the metal bars that separated him from the man and spoke to him.

"I know you're awake, bastard." Levi said, making the man look up at him.

What he saw fairly disgusted him. The man was filled with boils and when he saw him, he smiled, showing him his incomplete set of yellow teeth. It made the hairs on Levi's nape stand.

"Well, look at you." the man said in his raspy voice. "The mighty man, himself. It seems that only yesterday that you're acting all high and mighty with a large crowd of admirers just behind you. Ha! Now, I bet you can't even lift up a whore,..."

"Shut the fuck up!" Levi said. "It's me you want. Tell me where your boss is, or else I'll come in there and break all your bones!"

The man just laughed at Levi's threat. "You're telling me to shut up and now you want me to talk? Oh, lordie lord,..."

"Tell me!"

The man looked at Levi straight in the eye, his face not showing any hint of fear, at all.

"I'm not scared of you, Ackerman! All you Ackermans do is flaunt your abilities and shit. You have no right for the crown! You're just drooling mongrels who blindly serve Fritz for a single piece of bone, you lot! You don't deserve to live. The royal family don't need the likes of you!"

"What the fuck are you saying? We have no connection to the crown!"

"You do, Ackerman. And that's why we dedicate our lives to cleansing this world of you! You're unnatural, a disgrace,... you're the work of the devil!"

"I don't care what you think of us! And I don't even care what I really am anymore. You want to kill me? Now's your chance. Tell me where your hideout is. I'll go there alone and without hesitation."

The man appraised him for a moment, weighing his words so as not to make a wrong decision. "The mighty and arrogant Ackerman, willing to sacrifice himself for the glory of the Master. What will I say to him?"

Master? Like a cult leader or something?

"Make up your mind, you piece of shit, I haven't got all day."

"Very well. If you could find your way to the Trost's abandoned theatre, you should find yourself there. Bring men with you, I don't care. They will attack you, one by one, until none of you is left alive."

The abandoned theatre, huh?

Levi was about to leave when the prisoner noticed (F/N)'s bloody note in his hand.

"That beautiful young lady, she really is a beautiful young lady." the man said then grunted. Levi turned to look back at him and saw the man's eyes filled with lust. "You know that while you're wasting your time here, that precious girl is being tortured? Ah, no, wait, the Master is not like that. On the other hand, please, do stay a bit longer. I'm sure the Master is still having lots of fun with her, if you know what I mean,..." the man laughed hysterically and coughed at the same time, his perverted thoughts getting the better of him as he started rubbing his manhood against the cold, stone floor.

Levi's eyes widened in fear and disgust. He ran away as fast as he could, ignoring his boiling anger towards the perverted son of a bitch and his deep urge to mutilate him.

I'm coming, (F/N). Wait for me,...

******

~ @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @shewolfofficial , @unhappysap , @super-peace-fangirl , @fangurl-ontgeside , @emilyackerman78 . 💚

~ dear @shortbty14 , I almost forgot! Ihh! I'm sorry,...

~ and you, too, dear @clovemcpandas . Gosh, what's wrong with me,...

***

💚💚💚

***

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #captain levi #see me now #levi x reader #levi x you #snk erwin #snk hange #chapter 18 #outrage

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darkredehmption · 5 years

Text

Healing

#SL #Healing

#Warning #SexualContent

*~*~*~*

Malachi:

While I wasn’t sunning myself by the pool while sipping a mimosa, I still felt a new kind of peace as I stood at the edge of a perfectly manicured lawn, eyes closed, drinking in the dawn of a new day. Letting out a breath that also shed the last of the tension in my shoulders, I marvelled at the night I’d had, so different from the night I’d planned.

Standing on that rooftop, I’d been prepared to leave; to fly back to my mahmen, meet with other hunters, and resume my disorganised life of hunting monsters and exorcising demons. That everything had changed so drastically in so few seconds…

I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something divine in it. That I should sense Lessers.

Sense Zsadist.

Opening my eyes, I stared across the yard, not seeing anything as I turned the events over in my mind. The drop into the fray. The easy way I’d fought alongside the Brothers. The look in those golden eyes as Zsadist had finally known the truth. Known /my/ truth.

A rueful smile curved my lips, and I didn’t bother trying to stop it. That the male had kissed me back? No amount of divinity could’ve predicted or sensed that. It warmed me better than the sunlight soothing my wound, better than a raging fire. I’d never felt this kind of energy for anyone, or anything before.

Speaking of my wing though…

I glanced sideways, and after another minute I braced myself and lifted. The muscles objected, but not half as loudly as they had before, and with half the pain. Already I could feel my body knotting the torn tendons, ligaments, back together, the sunlight expediting the process as I finally hoisted the limb back into place at my back. It hurt, but it was there, and keeping my wings from trailing along the ground had been something I’d taught myself at a young age. Muscle control was important.

Now that I could lift the wing into place, exhaustion was hot on its heels. Making my way back to the door, I hesitantly knocked and hit the doorbell, starting slightly when a screen flashed and the door swung wide to reveal the beaming doggen once more.

“Sire! I hope you enjoyed the sunshine! Please, may I provide any sustenance unto you this morning? I would be more than happy to have it sent to the room if you wish to shower or retire?”

These guys were so full on it almost hurt. I smiled though, shrugging.

“Uh, sure. That’d be great. What room am I heading to? Just let me know and I’ll head up while you grab… anything with meat in it,” I admit, my stomach, as if hearing the conversation, snarling in approval.

“Of course!” The doggen, Fritz I think his name was, exclaimed happily. Providing me with directions, he then hustled off to what I assumed was the most well stocked and ready to serve kitchen in the whole U.S of A.

Shaking my head with a faint grin, I made my way up the stairs, following the directions while taking in the impossible beauty of the place. I’d never even stayed in a hotel this fancy, let alone lived in a house that had butlers. Reaching the door, I turned the handle and wandered in, somewhat relieved by the reserved interior even as my mind wondered when I’d be seeing Zsadist again. After the day was done?

Unable to help a frown at the thought, I stopped by the bed then froze as a door across from it opened. Light framed the male in the doorway as steam wafted around him. I blinked once, twice, then forced myself to turn away, trying to clear my throat even as arousal, hard and ready, punched through me.

Hooooooooly fuck…

“Zsadist! I… uh… sorry… this was the room the butler guy told me to go to… Did you… did you want me here?” I manage, feeling, for the first time in my life, embarrassed.

Zsadist:

[After I left the angel to bake in the sun, I decided to shower. The water ran black when I first got under the spray, then red before finally going clear. My head hangs forward as I try to process what the fuck just happened. He kissed me. And not only that but I kissed him back. His lips...did something to me and I really wasn’t sure just what that was. Everything was completely new to me and I didn’t know how to process this all.

Reaching for the bar of soap, I start scrub it a little hard over my body. My brows draw in as I think of the angel. What does this all mean? He said he was going to stay so did that mean we were going to...continue to kiss? What would my Brothers think of that? Hell...maybe we shouldn’t be affectionate around them. I mean...it’s not like we were mated. Then I heard one word in my head. MINE. Blinking as my hand drops the soap, my body pressing into the slick wall. The fuck? No. He wasn’t yours. He doesn’t want to be yours so don’t even go there. Growling at myself before I move to finish rinsing off.

Once I was out of the shower I was reaching for a towel. Dragging the soft material over my chest, feeling it tighten because he wasn’t near. I was fucked wasn’t I? Hell. Turning to face the mirror, my hand lifts to wipe away the steam that fogged up the glass. What the fuck did he see in me? Honestly, had he looked at any of the other Brothers? I mean Vishous and Butch were still unattached and yet he kissed me. Gritting my teeth as I replay in my head him basically saying he didn’t care about the band on my wrist. That it meant nothing to him. That he didn’t see it he saw me. But how could he not see it or the scar that ran down my face. My demons laughed in my head again and oh how I wish the angel was here with me right now to make it all quiet. Maybe I could go see if he made it inside yet. Though I probably should get some sleep.

Shaking the thought from my head as I drag the towel over the rest of my body, reaching for the door. When I opened it I can’t help but get hit with a scent. A deep rich scent that you just wanted to taste. I purr at the thought before my eyes rest on his. Wait. Why was the angel here?!

My golden eyes go wide as my hands move quickly to wrap the towel around my waist. Stumbling with my words as I finally exit the bathroom.]

No. I mean well...I Ah...I told him you’d be needing a room. I don’t...think he understood that very well when I said you were my guest. [Did I ask for him to be brought up here? No. Was I grateful that he was? Yes. My demons shut right the fuck up as I gaze into his eyes. I couldn’t help but notice the blush on his cheeks. At least I wasn’t the only one sporting red.] Um...do you want me to show you to a room…[Or would you like to stay here with me. I finish in my head. Before I can do anything the black cat leaps off of the bed and moves through the angel’s legs. Rubbing its face against him. Fuck even the cat liked him, and that little shit didn’t like anyone.]

Sorry. He’s a pain in the ass sometimes. [Snorts as I move to the closet. I couldn’t look at him right now cause I would probably tackle him down onto the bed for another kiss. Scrubbing a hand over my skull trim head as I close the door behind me. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Shit. Why did he make me so crazy? Quickly I put on a pair of pj bottoms that I was grateful I had. Normally I wore nothing to bed.]

Mal:

Naked.

Neked.

The male was totally…

I fought the urge to smack myself as I finally looked back over at him. Whether it was a good thing or not remained to be seen (aha…) but the towel was now wrapped around his waist. Which didn’t stop me noticing the odd water droplet glistening on his skin.

At the faint pressure on my legs I glanced down, smiling at the sight of the cat and relieved for the distraction. I half bent to stroke a hand over it’s back, my wings flaring out slightly to accommodate. It also gave me time to consider the question posed by the Brother as he walked to the closet and disappeared inside, door closing behind him. Oddly, the door helped me find my voice, because my tongue was sure as shit tied when I tried to talk logic at all that lovely bare flesh.

“Well uh… with my wings… they take up a lot of room…”

My responses hadn’t been a yes, or a no, and that was the problem. I didn’t want to say no to finding a new room, if only because the male had struggled to confess anything to me downstairs. What would jumping into his bed do? Give the wrong impression? I /so/ wasn’t just here for /that/. Even if it would be an excellent perk right about now. But I didn’t say ‘yes’ either because… because I did want to be here.

Y’know. If me n’ my feathery appendages could fit.

“Look…” I tried to breathe through the fresh flush of nerves as I found the words I wanted. “I… definitely wouldn’t mind being in here. Really. And uh, side note, you look good wet. But… I don’t want you to think that I’m just… I mean, that all I’m interested in is…”

I waved a hand between us like he could see it from behind a closed door. Like it might somehow articulate and demonstrate the sexual tension I could cut with stainless steel.

“...I’m not just here to sleep with you.”

Woooooow. I said that. Sweet fuck. Quick, say something else.

“I mean, I want more than that. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression and I want to… to get to know you. N’ all that stuff…” I mumbled, lifting a hand and raking it through my hair with a soft curse.

I’d never done this before. Not like this. Why the fuck was it so hard? Rom Coms were fucking /liars/.

Zsadist:

[As I tugged on the pj pants I couldn’t help but smirk as I heard the male go on and on. He wanted to get to know me. Me. I couldn’t believe it. My brows slowly draw in. What if he got to know me and didn’t like what I had to offer. I mean yeah he’s seen my scars but has he heard the stories? I was expecting this guy to run at any moment. There was some way that I was going to fuck this up. I just knew it.

[Opening the closet door, my brow raised as I eyed the male. It was very different to see this male stumbling over his words. Maybe I did have some effect on him after all. Clearing my throat as my arms cross over my broad chest.]

Some speech you just gave there…[I tried not to think about the part where he said he didn’t just want me for sex. Because the moment he said the word sex my body started to heat up. He wanted to be here. In my room. Hell if he only saw what it used to look like before the makeover. No way this male would of stepped one foot if it was back to its original state. Can you imagine? Oh yeah and here is the pallet I sleep on. Comfy right? Oh that? That’s the skull of the mistress that use to enslave me. I keep it here as a reminder that she is dead.

Scrubbing a hand over my scarred face before my eyes meet the male.] You ah...can stay if you like. [Nods as I inspect his wing before I turn towards the couch that sat in front of the wall of books.] There are fresh sheets on the bed and everything. [Grabbing a book from the shelf then plops down on the couch. Every time I attempted to read a page my thoughts immediately went to him.] Sun did you good, huh? Feeling better?

[Why was I so awkward? Oh yeah cause it was me and I didn’t know how to act. Fuck. This was all new to me and I didn’t know what I could do or should do. Playing with the pages of the book before I lay my head back and closed my eyes. Damn I was really tired. Then again I wasn’t really getting a good amount of sleep with all the nightmares I kept having. Hopefully if he stayed in my room I wouldn’t have any. My lips twitch at the thought of that. His wing felt so nice when I got to hold it. I wonder what it felt like to run my hands all over them. Shit. Stop. Nope. We aren’t thinking about that kinda stuff.]

Mal:

As far as speeches went, the last two minutes was probably the longest in my whole life. Which wasn’t saying much, but hell, hunters weren’t exactly the motivational, get up and spill your guts, sort of people. Unless you were ‘literally’ spilling your guts.

As the male’s eyes raked over my wing a shiver ran down my spine that I struggled to suppress. There was something about having that gilded gaze taking me in that made all my defenses feel thin as paper. As he grabbed a book and settled in on the couch, I felt a faint pang of guilt, followed by disappointment.

“The sun does wonders for the divine,” I say softly. “Or… whatever I am.” Because ‘divine’ had never really been a word anyone had used to describe me. Ever. ‘Deviant’ was probably more appropriate. “I’m sorry, I should ask the doggen for another room. I don’t want you to have to sleep on the couch in your own damn room.”

And since neither of us seemed willing to figure out if we should just be in the same bed…

The cat meowed at my feet, and absently I bent to pick it up. Whether it was the angel blood in me or not I had no idea, but animals had always liked me. I scratched behind its ears as I watched the male, and was rewarded with a purr to rival a ferrari.

“I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve had to heal a wing,” I heard myself say, voice still soft, as if I could somehow break the ambiance. “Most of the time… I keep them retracted. They can get in the way during a hunt. Or just driving,” I add, missing my car. I’d have to go get it and bring it here, I reasoned.

Zsadist:

[Opening my eyes to gaze at the male who was currently holding the cat. Slowly I set the book down, shifting up off the couch. I didn’t want him to leave. Hell. Scrubbing a hand over my scarred face as I move towards him.]

Don’t leave. You said you were going to stay. [My lips twitch slightly at the small joke I made. Reaching out to run my fingers through the cat’s soft black fur.]

I...I used to sleep on the floor so the couch isn’t so bad. [My golden eyes flicker to the massive bed. It was big but would I get in the way of his wings? Why was I being so awkward around a guy I just kissed not even an hour ago? Shaking my head at the thought before I murmur.]

I mean...if you want to lay with me you can. I just don’t want to hurt your wings. I want you to have enough space…[My hand lifts to scrub at the nape of my neck.] I never…I don’t...This is just all new to me, okay? [I couldn’t look at him. Nope. Fuck I felt embarrassed. Why did I have to be so fucked up? Taking in a breath as I tried to not freak out in front of the male. I was going to mess this up. Somehow I would. My brows draw in as I nod towards the bed.]

Lay down. You need rest, true? [He was my savior tonight. Without him, I don’t know what shape I would be in if any. I watched as the black cat jumped from his arms and scurry off into the closet. Leaving just the angel and I. No distractions. Just us.]

Mal:

I flashed a rueful grin of my own at his reminder of my earlier promise. I was going to stay. But not in this room if it meant compromising the male’s rest. Though, I fought the impulse to frown at the confession he’d slept on the floor. There was probably something to that, and now didn’t seem like the time to touch on it, so I let it go.

“My wings are harder to hurt than you think,” I say finally, adopting a lopsided smile as I offered the cat one final scritchy scratch then let it leap back to the floor. “Don’t let one bullet wound determine their structural integrity.”

As if to prove the point, I extended the non-injured one to swat at the male, smiling then tilting my head toward the bathroom.

“Besides, I think I need a shower too. I mean, I’m not coated in Lesser gore,” I add, winking, “but I definitely need to wash the night off. Which, uh…”

Oh shit. Clearing my throat, I met the Brother’s golden gaze square on and, somehow, managed not to blush.

“I need help washing the wing that was injured. I can’t reach every spot. And blood matted in feathers effects flight patterns,” I add smoothly. Yeah. Smooth. That’s what I felt. As opposed to nervous AF… Turning toward the bathroom, I dropped my pack and stripped off the filthy shirt, tossing it toward what looked like a laundry pile.

“How about,” I say, not looking back. “You help me wash the wing… then we both go to bed. To sleep. Just with company,” I murmur, finally looking back, drinking him in and finding myself relieved all over again that my wing had taken that bullet and not him. “Please?”

Zsadist:

[Raising a brow as I heard the male ask me for help washing his wing. Fuck. I mean he did just catch a glimpse of me naked, but don’t know if I was ready to see him exposed. My head lifts as he then proceeds to ask me again if I can help him and then lay down with me. That one please got me though. I couldn’t help but nod my head. Knowing that in this moment he could ask me for anything with that please and I’d say yes. Yep. I was fucked alright.

Moving forward to join the male in the bathroom. My bright golden eyes watched as he removed his shirt with ease despite having large wings. Turning to look at the shower before my eyes landed on the tub that was big enough for probably every Brother in the mansion. Willing on the faucet as I nod towards the bath.]

Get in. [With that said I move to the closet in the bathroom to retrieve a few items. Taking in a deep breath as I reach for a towel. The male needed me and hell I had to admit...I needed him too. Shit. It was so hard to suddenly feel everything all at once. This male made me crazy, but somewhere deep down I kinda liked it.

Grabbing a few washcloths before I make my way back over to him. My fingers test the water as I shut off the faucet. This male looked heavenly in the water. What the fuck did I do to deserve an angel? Lifting my hand to move through the feathers that were matted in the male’s blood. Trying to smooth them out as I reached for a washcloth.]

Let me know if I’m hurting you, true? [Dipping the rag into the warm water before I moved it over his feathers. Tilting my head to eye where his wings connected with his back. Don’t get me wrong I’ve seen an angel’s wings before but never been this close. I couldn’t look away. They were breathtaking.]

Mal:

While the male set about gathering tools and towels, I shucked my jeans, kicking them aside and stepped into the bath. It /was/ huge, but it filled rapidly, until I was waist deep and half the weight of my wings was offset by the water. The heat loosened muscles I’d been keeping locked, and I sank a little deeper to go under, my wings getting a good soaking.

Rising and letting out a breath, I wiped my eyes and pushed my sodden locks out of my hair with a grin. Glancing back at him as he settled on the edge, I backed up enough to make it easier. Taking care in the extension, I flared the injured wing slightly, allowing his fingers better access to the feathers and biting down on my lip to hold in a groan.

I could count on one hand the people other than my mahmen that had touched my wings in this life, and Zsadist was about to be one of them. Not to mention, just the /thought/ of him touching the sensitive parts was enough to make the warm water and my naked state that much more… complicated.

“I doubt you could hurt me more than a bullet,” I managed, my voice husky with the promise of his touch, the idea of him being in this bath with me. Hot and wet and naked. Ahhhh fuck…

“Stroke downward with the rag,” I offered instead, closing my eyes. My other wing flared wider to copy its twin, the water soaking into the feathers. I wanted his fingers to touch, to stroke, more than the rag, but I’d take what I could get right now. “Does the other angel… Lassiter? Does he… have his wings out often?”

Zsadist:

[Raising a brow before I concentrate on the task at hand. Moving the cloth downward, watching as I wash the blood away.] No. I think I’ve seen them like once. [Dipping the rag back into the water.] So it’s quite a shock to not only see yours but be touching them right now.

[Tilting my head to the side as my free hand moves over your other wing.] Yours are black. That’s different. Is that because your Mahmen is a vampire? [I wondered if I would ever be able to meet her. With Phury as the primale it was sure to happen at some point. Fuck. Wonder what she thought about a former blood slave kissing her precious son.

The washcloth was forgotten as I reached for the ceramic pitcher. Dunking it into the bath until it was filled. Lifting my hand to pour out the water over his wings as I rinse them off. I repeat this a few times until there aren’t any more suds. Shifting on the edge of the tub as I set it down.]

I can’t believe you are here right now with me. Truly I thought I’d never see you again. [My hand lifts to rest at his back, right in between his wings. Slowly my hand shifts to push at where the feathers started, my fingers getting lost in them.] I’m glad you came back though. [Brows drawing in as I just study my hand.] Come on...we both need rest now, true?

[Slowly I stand. Reaching for the large towel I received early and holding it out as I wait for the angel to get up. I swear I could stare at those wings for forever. They totally captivated me in a way that would leave them imprinted in my mind the whole night.]

Mal:

The Brother’s admission earned a wide eyed stare from me, not that he could see it. I’d just assumed that angels kept their wings out a bit more often, but what would I know? I’d had zero interaction with any of the divine, especially since my father had dipped not long after my conception, leaving my mahmen to fend for herself in the human world with an angelic, vampiric baby.

At his question, I almost stiffened. Almost. I’d come to terms with the black wings aspect of my divinity, and indeed, the male’s guess at their colouring and why was accurate. I nodded slowly.

“Yes. My mahmen speculates that my dual nature, and that I was not selected by the Creator himself to /be/ an Angel, meant my wings were dark as the night a vampire is supposed to hide in.”

Okay… a touch of bitterness. But then again, black wings were excellent for night flying. Silver linings and all that.

The fresh rush of water down my back earned a quiet sigh of gratitude and relief. Already, I felt better for the feathers being clean. The ache of the healing wing was fading to a dull throb. Which was why when his hand rested between my wings I choked on a gasp.

Arousal, hot and hard, shot through me as the sensitive flesh sent shivers throughout my body. Then his fingers were moving, and I almost bit through my lip to hold in the moan, my cock hard beneath the water line as he carded through the feathers. I didn’t expect the male to know - how could he? - but where my wings met my back was a deeply sensitive, erogenous zone. It took me from zero to ‘fuck me’ in about .4 seconds.

Lust clouded everything as I turned to look up at him, holding open that towel. Like I could possibly sleep after his touch… I took a step up, half out of the bath, for one brief moment revealing /exactly/ how much I’d enjoyed the male touching my wings, before I seized his wrist and yanked him to me. The pair of us tumbled back into the bath as I found his lips and kissed him hungrily.

Zsadist:

And you are one of a kind, yes? [My head lifted to watch as the male got out of the tub and fuck he was ah...hard. Yep. Clearing my throat as I turn my head away, trying not to stare at him. Then again, I think he wanted me to look. Quickly my head snaps back when I feel his hand lock around my wrist in a tight grip.]

Hey…[My words were cut off as he drug me back with him, causing us to fall into the tub. The water splashes around before spilling out onto the floor. Before I could even process it all his lips crashed against mine. Fuck. Lifting my hands to grab at his face, kissing him back with the same amount of passion. What was he doing to me? Biting down on his lower lip, giving it a tug as I pull back.]

What the hell was that all for? [Panting as my hands wrapped around him, finding his wings again. I raised a brow as I heard him moan causing me to continue to stroke his feathers.] They are sensitive huh? I’m the one who started this...yes?

[Swallowing thickly, my head dropping to look at our legs tangled together. My pants soaking wet and clinging to my legs. Then my eyes landed on his erection that was peeking out of the water.

Slowly I lifted my head, my golden eyes searching his as my fingers continued to move over his wings. This was all completely new to me but whatever I was doing right now was really working for the male.]

You really like this…[My voice husky as I speak, hands clutching at the feathers and giving them a slight tug. I didn’t stop with teasing him. Keeping up the motion until the male was practically shaking in my arms. It was enough to get me going, but this was all about him right now.]

Mal:

Thank fuck he kissed me back. Otherwise this would’ve been awkward…

As he put his hands on me, kneaded at my skin, his fingers invariably found their way back to my wings, and I moaned at the touch, at the lightning bolts of pleasure rocketing through me and stealing coherent thought or speech from my mouth.

“Really… really… sensitive… at my back…” I managed huskily, almost mewling as I rocked my hips against him, my balls tightening with the orgasm I was all but desperate for now. This had seriously escalated quickly…

Zsadist was so attentive, watching me as he stroked at the most sensitive parts of my body. Dripping wet, the hard lines of his body gleamed, begging for my lips, my tongue, to lick up every drop. The more he touched me, the more I wanted those pants gone, my earlier convictions about not being here for sex out the fucking window. The male was playing me like a fucking piano and I was two keys away from losing it pressed against him.

“More,” I whispered, dropping my head to lick from his collar bone, up to his throat. I grazed my smaller fangs over his pulse, my breathing catching as I found the will power not to bite down, unsure of whether the male would even like it. “Please…”

I sounded needy, desperate, and I didn’t care, my hands dropping to his pyjama bottoms and pushing at them. I was no longer tired. I could no longer feel pain in my wing. All I felt was pleasure and the caress of his hands. I wanted him, every inch of him. Mine.

“Zsadist…” I made myself look up into his golden eyes as I felt my divinity wrap around me, my own eyes gleaming a silver white as a shudder ran through me, my wings shaking. “Please…”

When in doubt? Ask nicely.

Zsadist:

[My golden eyes go wide as he pushed at my pants and begged for me. Did he want me to take him? I was about to decline him but yet again he begs. My name sounding so heavenly falling from his perfect lips. Those lips. Fuck. Leaning in for another kiss, my tongue snaking into his mouth to tangle with his own.

He tasted so sweet. I practically fisted his wings as I pushed my hips into his own. Grinding against the angel, letting out a low groan as I feel his teeth at my throat. Did he want to bite me? Cause fuck he could drain me dry and I’d die happy right now.

Pulling back to gaze into his eyes once more. Could I do what he wanted without completely embarrassing myself? Was I ready for all of this? Tugging at his feathers as I bite down on his jaw. Knowing if I kept this up, he would have his release. That’s what I wanted for him. To feel good and let go in my arms. But he wanted something else. He wanted me.

My cock ached in my pants and I managed to remove them with one hand. Tossing the pajamas out of the tub, listening to the wet flop it made when they hit the floor.] You drive me crazy. You know that right? You see what you fucking do to me? I’ve never…fuck.

[Suddenly my body was pressed to his. Letting the angel feel all of me as I rubbed up against him. Tangling our legs once again as my hands roam over his back right in between his wings. My hands shift until they come in contact with his coarse feathers. Slowly I start to feel my fangs elongate and that word screams in my head once again. MINE.

Growling out in response to it before I strike his throat. My fangs sink into his flesh with ease, blood pooling into my mouth. Oh fuck he tasted so good. Like a fine wine. Groaning against his flesh as I continued to take pulls from his vein. Getting my fill of the angel.]

Mal:

Our tongues met in a tangle and I lost myself in the kiss, the taste of sweetness and steel. His grip on my wings, my feathers, had me mewling into his mouth as I rut against his hips, eager for more. With the soaking wet material gone I was free to press myself against him, body to body, skin to skin.

“Well the feeling is fucking mutual,” I panted back, my grin wild as I nipped at his lip, felt the hardness of him against me. I fought the impulse to glance down, though what I was feeling was more than enough. Holllllllly fuck… the male had absolutely /nothing/ to be shy about. “No one gets to touch my wings and you just…”

As if on cue his hands pressed at the hyper sensitive flesh between the wing joints, where feather met flesh, and I cried out, trembling. When his fangs sank into me I almost lost it, my cock jerking as I whimpered and groaned under his touch. The water rippled around us as I rocked against him, my heart racing as I felt the high of being bitten combined with the caress of his hands. I’d never been bitten like this… Never felt the sweet sting of fangs as my wings were stroked.

I looped my arms around him, keeping him pressed against me as I then wrapped my legs around his waist, felt the hardness of him rub against me. If he’d never done this before, so be it; I’d gladly be his first. But would it matter that… that he wasn’t mine?

Guilt punctured the haze as I tried to blink through the lust, feeling his tongue lick over the bite marks in my neck to seal them closed.

“I will gladly be your first if you’ve never… never done this,” I whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly, sweetly, tasting my own blood and feeling a fresh kick of arousal. “But… does it matter that I… I’ve done this before?”

Was there irony in this? A partly divine being feeling like they’d sinned too much? Zsadist deserved to know, and while I would’ve told him at some point, things were racing ahead of any schedule or plan and… he deserved to make the call. If he wanted me.

Zsadist:

[When I get my fill I retract my fangs. My tongue darting out to lap at the wound, sealing it shut. I pressed kisses all over his throat. Wanting to leave my mark everywhere. Slowly my head tilts back, eyes meeting his once again. Grabbing ahold of his jaw, tugging him in for another kiss as I murmur against his lips.]

I don’t care who you’ve been with, true? I’m just shocked you want to be with me right now. [Letting out a snort as I think about it. What did he see in me? Hell if I knew. Though I push those thoughts aside, taking in the male again. My hands moved to grab at his hips. Lifting him up as I shift up onto my knees. As I pressed him into the tub my hand disappeared between us, grabbing at my length. My free hand starts to run over his ass before teasing at his seam.]

You sure this is what you want? Am I what you want? [Eyes flashing bright as I gaze at him. The only thing I could hear over and over again in my head was one word. MINE. It was clouding everything causing me to have this need to truly mark him. The thought of another touching him made me growl.

Though I had to wonder, was I enough? He’s been with others and I didn’t even know how to comprehend my feelings. What if I let him down?

I let my erection brush against his ass. Looking into the angel’s big eyes before I take in those breathtaking wings.]

You feel so good. Hell you make me feel everything all at once. I’ve never had this urge that I do right now. [My body arching into his. Fangs elongating once again as I eyed the male up, taking in every inch of his body. How the hell was I lucky enough to have him in my arms right now?]

Mal:

I shivered at the look in his eyes; at the feel of his hands stroking against my skin. A week ago I’d never even heard of Zsadist of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Standing in the Audience House, what felt like an eternity ago, he hadn’t been an enemy, but he certainly hadn’t been an ally. Only someone to evade. Deceive. Escape. Then we’d fought, and I could still remember the thrill of matching myself to his skill. Throwing punches, taking hits.

Time really meant nothing. Not when you felt like this.

“I want you,” I breathed. “Just you. Only you.”

I ached with the truth of those words, with the need I felt to press every inch of my body against him and know he was there. Warm. Breathing. Vital. The wing that’d taken the bullet throbbed in memory, and I was kissing him again, hard and desperate and flavored with the fear I’d felt as he’d stared down that gun barrel like he was ready. Like his time was done. I flared my wings wider, water cascading across the floor.

“Indulge the urge, Zsadist,” I whispered against his lips, rubbing my nose to his, my hands caressing over his flesh. I turned my head and kissed over his scar where it came to his lip. “Live like a hunter. Take tonight. Incase we don’t get tomorrow.”

And that was it. The idea of not having the male tomorrow fuelled another kiss, the rock of my hips as I clung to him and drowned in his scent, his flavor. Fate was a greedy bitch. The joy of today could become the pain of tomorrow. So I lived for today. I lived for this moment. With Zsadist in my arms, for the first time, I knew heaven.

Zsadist:

[Take tonight. Incase we don’t get tomorrow. His words played over and over again in my head. He was right. Brothers have fallen and Shellans. Even though vampires were immortal we all died at some point. Hell, Vishous has watched each one of us die. It will happen, but you don’t know when. Should I continue to live my life with so much hate and fear?

My head lifts to take him in all at once. Those wings. Those eyes. Everything was absolutely breathtaking and all MINE. I let out a powerful growl that causes the room to vibrate. The water moving beneath us as I shift to tease my head against his tight pucker. My eyes never leaving his own as I start to push inside of him. Lips parting to let out a loud groan as I get hit with such pleasure from the sensation. FUCK. Hissing as my length slides in completely. Hands clutching at his hips so tightly that I was probably giving him bruises. I couldn’t help it. Fuck this felt so damn good.]

Shit…[Was all I could manage to say. Words could not process the feeling I had right now. So I didn’t talk. Instead I just pressed my forehead against his own. Letting us both catch our breath before I started to move my hips, and when I did, I lost it. Groaning louder as I started a steady rhythm, only to pick up the pace as we both get more comfortable. My lips found his again, tongues tangle in a passionate kiss. Fuck I couldn’t get enough of this male. He was everything to me right now, and I never wanted to let him go.

The water sloshes around us as I start to give short hard thrusts. Loving the feeling each time my swollen head pressed against the bundle of nerves deep inside of him. Even more so loving the sound he made when I did. It only made me want to do it harder. One hand shifts up to grab ahold of his hair, tugging him forward for another kiss. My lips pulling back only to move down along his neck. Kissing and licking every inch I could reach. Teasing his throat with my fangs as I continued to pound into him.]

Mal:

The male’s growl was pure warrior. It made my blood quicken, my pulse leaping upward as my cock ached. As the velvet hardness of him stroked against me I felt my breath catch in anticipation. Then he was sliding in. My hands clung to him as my body stretched to accommodate his size, the pleasurable pain tingling up my spine as I bit my lip and groaned. Sheathed completely, I let out a shaky breath, a tremble running through my wings.

There was a single moment of stillness, of being pressed against the male and filled, before he moved his hips and I gasped. His lips claimed mine and I moaned into the kiss, my body on fire regardless of the water around us. As he angled his hips, finding that sweet spot, I cried out, my fingers like claws as they dug at his flesh and held on.

“Zsadist…”

I let my head tilt back as his lips ghosted over my pulse, the sweet graze of his fangs only heightening the ecstasy. Every thrust pushed me to the brink, and I teetered on the edge as my wings gave an instinctual beat, water spraying around us.

“Yes… Z… stay with me…” I whispered, wanting to feel him with me, to leap off the edge together. My body ached for the release, the sensitive skin of my wings still tingling even now after his touch.

Zsadist:

[A warmth spread through my body. My abs tightening up as I feel myself right on the edge. I was going to let loose and I had to let him know somehow. Lifting my head to allow my eyes to search his. Trying to form words as my hands roughly grabbed at his hips. Fingers digging into his flesh.]

I’m gonna…[Hissing as I grit my teeth. There was no holding back. This was it. With a cry I slam my hips forward. Water splashes against us as my body connects to his. Skin against skin, my length buried deep inside of him. I toss my head back, letting out a powerful growl as I just let go. MINE. My release hits me like a wave, taking me to a high that I’ve never felt before. Thick ropes of cum spurt out of my swollen head, coating the angel’s inner walls. Filling him up and claiming him as my own.

Yes. MINE. He was MINE. All I could smell around us was my bonding scent that enveloped us like a blanket. Letting anyone know just exactly who he belonged to. And if anyone laid their hands on him they would get ripped apart by me. My fangs dig into my lower lip, growling as I taste blood forming in my mouth. No one would touch him. No one.

Slowly I come down from the high. My body sore and tired as it sags against his own. Nuzzling my way into the crook of his neck as my fingers thread themselves into his wings. Heaven. Pure heaven is what this felt like right now. And in this moment I felt at peace for once in my entire life. Hell I could die right now and be okay with that.]

Mal:

I’d never had a lover as strong as I was. If not stronger. Part vampire, part angel, I’d always had to be careful with human lovers; breakable and fragile, when compared to my own strength. Even hunters had been so easy to bruise. But I didn’t have to worry about that with Zsadist. There was a sweet relief to letting go of all that self control, of the need to protect my partner from the rawest parts of me.

As we moved in sync, body to body, skin to skin, I cried out again as he drove deep. My jaw, my fangs, ached for the first time in my life as I thought of how sweet he’d taste. At his words though I forgot the need to bite and lick at his flesh. His growl was like thunder against the tiled walls, and then I was clenching around him, surrendering to the need of my body as he slammed into those nerves and shoved me over the edge, into orgasm.

My cock kicked out between us, the heat of him searing through me, inside me. I wasn’t aware of my wings beating, feathers floating across the water as I clutched the male with nails like claws. The ecstasy lifted me up and threw me down, until I felt shattered and boneless in the grip of his arms. The world faded, my exhausted body floating away in the bliss until I was aware of nothing but the brother, the scent of him around me, in my skin. When his fingers stroked through my feathers again I stirred, whimpering softly at the aftershock of pleasure from my wings, making my cock twitch.

“Stop that,” I whispered hoarsely, tilting my head to offer a sated smile as I made myself close both feathery appendages, folding them to my back. “You’ll get me all worked up again and I can barely move right now.”

I pressed a kiss against the side of his head. The feel of him inside me still was… indescribable. I clenched around him and was rewarded with a shift of that incredible body, my hands stroking over any skin I could reach.

“Was that… are you…”

His first…

Had this… had /I/… been enough?

Zsadist:

[The male shivers in my arms. Hands pulling free from his wings when he begs me to stop touching him there. Good to know that it was a sensitive spot for him. My scarred lip twitches at the thought only to let out a grunt when he clenches around me. Shifting up to gaze into his eyes. I was still trying to catch my breath when he asked me a question.]

Was that what…? Amazing? Yeah. Heaven. Perfection. Well...at least for me.

[My head drops as I spew out that last part. He told me he had other lovers. And of course he did. Hell I was the only freak around here who didn’t like to be touched. At least until I met him. I couldn’t look at him. I mean...did I really just admit to him how amazing that was? How lame could I be? Grunting out as I started to pull back. The water was cold and half of it spilled onto the floor. Letting out a hiss as I slipped out of him. Missing the sensation of being buried deep inside of him. Fuck. Scrubbing my hand down the length of my face before I murmur.]

Come on. We need to rest. [And I want to sleep with him in my bed, protecting what is mine. Gritting my teeth at the thought. I was fucked. Yep. Reaching down to help up the angel. When we stand in the tub I take a moment to look at him. My hand lifting to drag over the side of his face, eyes flickering to his injured wing. Inspecting it for a moment before I help him out of the bath.

Once out of the bathroom, I move us towards the bed. Letting the angel lay down first, my eyes roam over his glistening body. I still couldn’t believe what the fuck we just did in that tub. Damn. Slowly I move to join him on the bed. Turning on my side to take him in again. Trying to find the words to say how I felt in this moment.]

Um...I hope that was good for you too, true?

Mal:

Amazing. Heaven. Perfection.

Well shucks, the male certainly knew how to make an angel blush. I was ready to tell him so only he slipped free, the loss making me bite my lip as I he shifted away. Back on my feet, I paused long enough to run my eyes all over him. At his glance at my wing, I wait just long enough to give him room before spreading them wider, attempting to ruffle the feathers and shed some of the water soaking each strand. Regardless, his bed was going to have one helluva wet patch where they rested.

Walking gingerly back to the bedroom, the silence starting to weigh on me, I took one side of the bed and extended the injured wing out just enough to let it relax. Feeling the Brothers eyes on me, I glance up, watching as Zsadist came to join me.

At his statement I couldn’t help but slow grin, relief running through me at the almost tentative asking. Shifting enough to grab a sheet and drag it up over my waist, I took my time in answering, finally leaning across the distance to kiss the male softly.

“If you hadn’t been holding me up I might’ve drowned in that tub I was so far gone,” I murmur honestly. “That was… incredible. My wings…” I shivered as I thought of Zsadist’s hands in my feathers, stroking at the flesh where the wings met my back. “I’ve never been with anyone like that. Where I could… let go. And not worry,” I admit, closing my eyes, the softness of the mattress and the pillows helping the exhaustion get a hold. “And I’ve never wanted to feed during either. The feeling is… new to me.”

Zsadist:

[I returned the soft kiss that left my lips tingling. How was I going to be able to focus on anything when all I wanted to do was spend my time kissing him. Hell I wanted to do more than that but kissing was good. Kissing was real good. My lips twitch at the thought. Tempted to reach out and touch those wings as he mentions them. Though I decided to keep my hands to myself. He said in the tub that they were sensitive and if I got us going again we would never get any sleep. My eye lift to his own as I bring an arm behind my head, relaxing in bed.]

Everything is new to me. Hope that’s alright. [I let out a snort. Shifting under the covers as I just replay in my head what went down. Damn. I never thought that I would...that this would happen to me. Who would have thought? Letting out a loud yawn before I close my eyes. My arm drops to rest at his side. Hand curling around his waist as I feel myself start to drift a bit.]

Rest now, true? [I had only hoped that I wouldn’t wake the male up with my nightmares. That’s the last thing he needed to see.]

#SLS

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per-ineptia-ad-astra · 6 years

Text

Star Trek Episode 1.18: Arena

AKA: Lizard in the Sky With Diamonds

Our episode begins with a landing party (Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and a ‘shirt of each color, to balance things out) assembling in the transporter room. Off to one side, Kirk is telling McCoy, “You’ll enjoy Commodore Travers. He sets a good table.” McCoy seems pretty happy about this, and who could blame him—the last guy who put them up didn’t set a good table at all. He wonders if Travers brought his personal chef with him to the planet they’re visiting, Cestus 3. “Rank hath its privileges,” Kirk says. “How well we both know that,” McCoy chuckles. Bones...have you ever used your rank for anything? Do you know even know what your rank is?

A message comes in on the transporter comm from Travers, saying he’s waiting for them—oh, and he wants Kirk to bring his best tactical people because he’s got an interesting problem for them. Spock thinks this is odd and wonders why Travers wants tactical people, but Kirk shrugs it off, saying Travers probably just wants all the help he can get since his colony is exposed and on the edge of nowhere. Spock still thinks it’s weird, but McCoy is like SHUT UP SPOCK THEY’RE FEEDING US.

Spock’s trepidation notwithstanding, the landing party gets into position and beams down. The moment they materialize, though, it’s clear that something has gone horribly wrong.

[ID: McCoy, Spock, Kirk, and three Enterprise crewmen, one in red, one in blue, and one in gold, standing on a open patch of scorched dirt. Kirk is leaning over his communicator and saying “Kirk to Enterprise. Red alert.” into it, while everyone else looks back at the remains of a curved wall behind them.]

does this mean dinner’s canceled?

Kirk calls up the ship and issues a red alert. Asked why, he says, quite bluntly, “Cestus 3 has been destroyed,” then hangs up while the person on the other end is presumably still going “wait, what.”

After the titles, the landing party makes a run for the nearest bit of cover, where Kirk orders Spock to scan for signs of life. This all happened several days ago, he muses, meaning that the messages asking them to come visit the colony must have been faked. He orders the goldshirt (Lang) to go in one direction to look for survivors, the blueshirt (Kelowitz) to go in another direction, and the redshirt (O’Herlihy) to stay with them.

A moment later, Spock picks up some very weak lifesigns, so the remaining four of them head off to go investigate. As they walk Kirk gives us a recap via captain’s log: we were invited to Cestus 3, landed to find it completely destroyed, do they call this hospitality because I don’t. Then McCoy spots something and immediately takes off running, with everyone else pelting after him. It turns out to be an injured guy (unsurprisingly; if you see McCoy suddenly sprint off somewhere it’s a safe guess that Doctor Mode has been activated) laying in some rubble. McCoy does a scan and says that the guy’s got radiation burns, internal injuries, and shock. Or, to use a precise medical term, he’s real fucked up.

As McCoy does his doctor things Spock tells Kirk that he’s picked up some more life signs. But while whatever’s out there might be alive, it’s not human survivors, or indeed any life that they know of, because these life signs are not warmblooded. And despite what McCoy says Spock isn’t actually coldblooded, or I’d accuse him of just having the scanner the wrong way round. Spock picks out the approximate location and Kirk tells O’Herlihy to go check it out.

So O’Herlihy runs forward a little bit, then stands up and yells, “Captain, I see something!” Then a red light hits him and he’s immediately disintegrated. Great job.

Before anyone has time to process this, a shell falls nearby. Everyone drops flat to the ground for cover, except for McCoy, whose first instinct was to shield the wounded guy.

[ID: Kirk, Spock, Lang and Kelowitz crouching for cover in a pile of rubble next to a stone formation; in the middle of the group McCoy is laying on top of the injured man.]

Right, it’s looking like it’s past time to get the hell out of Dodge. Kirk calls up the Enterprise and tells them to beam up the landing party, but Sulu tells him they can’t—they’re under attack by an unidentified ship and had to raise their shields, and there’s no beaming through the shields. Things are just going badly on all fronts today. Kirk tells Sulu to keep the shields up and fire all phasers. Sulu does so, but reports that the other ship has its shields up too (it’d be kind of weird if they didn’t, really) so that didn’t do much.

Kirk tells Sulu to do anything he has to do to keep the Enterprise safe; the landing party will hold out down there in the meantime. Sulu, who of course has no idea what’s going on planetside, says that if they’re under attack he could drop the shields long enough to beam them up, but Kirk won’t have it. The safety of the ship comes before anything else.

Of course, for the landing party, holding out down there is easier said than done. They’re still being shelled, and as Spock points out, the disrupters the enemy is using are massively OP compared to the Enterprise crew’s hand phasers. But that’s the situation they’re in so they’re going to have to deal with it. For the moment they’ll have to settle for getting out of the open, so Kirk and Spock lead a run over to the buildings encircling the area, while McCoy and the remaining two ‘shirts come after them carrying the injured guy. Kirk then tells the ‘shirts to fan out and lay down some fire. And keep their heads down. Sure, that’ll help.

Kirk himself is none too pleased about having to be away from his ship while she’s in trouble (that he’s also in mortal peril is just sort of an annoying side problem). He’s also irritated that they can’t even get at their attackers, which raises the question of why he sent the ‘shirts out there after them. Spock points out, though, that at the moment their attackers also can’t get to them, unless they move position to some nearby high ground. Kirk asks if Spock remembers the base layout well enough to know where the arsenal is, which fortunately Spock does, though he cautions that after an attack of this level there might not be anything left. But there’s not a whole lot of other options, so Kirk takes the risk and sets off into the open again.

He zigzags around a bit, then combat rolls away from a blast and crawls behind a thing, where he gets a call from Sulu saying that their phasers didn’t have any effect on the other ship. Kirk tells him to switch to photon torpedoes. Kirk, I know you care about your ship a lot, but I think running across a battlefield dodging shells is quite enough for any one person to focus on without also trying to micromanage a space battle at the same time.

Sulu says that they have no ID on the ship, and it’s too far away for visual contact. You mean you can’t just look out the window for it? Dang, that usually works. They fire the photon torpedoes and Kirk tries to say something else, but has to break off because the communicator’s on the fritz, and also because of the minor detail that he’s being shelled. He gets up and makes a dash for the arsenal, a little building in the middle of the colony with a convenient crater out front that Kirk does a dive and roll into because of course he does. Then he calls Sulu again and tells him to do anything he has to to protect the ship, even if it means leaving them all behind. Sulu’s obviously not happy about that, but he agrees. Incidentally, Sulu is, as you might expect, at the helm during all this. Who has the conn? Is anyone actually running this ship?

Anyway, it seems the photon torpedoes didn’t work either, which means Sulu has to reluctantly retreat, warping out of orbit while Kirk makes for the arsenal. Back under the overhang, Spock asks McCoy how the injured guy is doing. McCoy bluntly says that without better medical care he’ll be dead in half an hour. McCoy doesn’t seem real concerned about the whole ‘being shelled’ thing, which is not real surprising; McCoy generally doesn’t care about much else when he’s got a patient to look after. Oh, we’re under artillery fire? Well, you better go take care of that so I can get this dude to a biobed.

Spock notices that the attackers are moving, so he makes a run for it over to Kirk, who’s found a mortar in the arsenal. That’s convenient. Spock tells Kirk that the attackers have locked onto them and are making for the aforementioned higher ground. Then he sees that his tricorder is smoking. That seems bad.

[ID: Kirk and Spock, covered in dirt, kneeling in a crater with a mortar and box of round blue grenades. Spock is holding up a smoking tricorder and saying, “They’ve locked on to my tricorder,” with a somewhat offended expression on his face.]

He throws it away and it promptly explodes. Huh. Apparently tricorders are made by Samsung.

Kirk calls for Lang, but it’s Kelowitz who rolls into the crater a moment later. He grimly tells Kirk that they got Lang. No, not Lang! Lang, we hardly knew ye!

Kelowitz hasn’t seen the enemy himself, but he gives an estimate of where he thinks they might be. Kirk prepares to load one of the jawbreaker-looking grenades, which Kelowitz is a little dubious about using at this range. Kirk is just kind of like “eh, it’ll hurt them more than it’ll hurt us.”

The grenade goes off with a big ol’ boom, and when the smoke clears and the three of them stand up again, the shelling seems to have stopped. A moment later Sulu calls to say that the enemy ship is retreating, and that their sensors show it just used its transporters. Evidently the attackers didn’t like the look of that grenade and decided to skedaddle. Also, hang on, weren’t you leaving orbit, Sulu? What’s the range on these communicators?

At any rate it looks like they can finally drop the shields, so Kirk orders them to beam up the landing party and beam down thirty medical personnel to search the ruins for any other survivors. Thirty medical personnel? You have thirty medical personnel? Where have they all been hiding? Does McCoy know about this?

Sometime later, a captain’s log informs us that they made it back and are now following the alien ship, which is headed toward an unknown part of the galaxy, while Kirk, Spock and McCoy are talking to the injured guy in Sickbay. He says their scanners picked up a ship approaching, which didn’t surprise them because ships come through all the time to use their facilities. Given they’re on the very edge of known space one wonders why there are so many ships passing through, but anyway, this one was looking all fine and normal until it suddenly started attacking without warning. It knocked out their phaser batteries with its first salvo, leaving them helpless as it proceeded to lay waste to the colony. They called the ship begging to surrender, telling them there were women and children in the colony, but the attackers ignored them. He doesn’t have any idea why anyone would attack them, because the colony didn’t have anything anyone would want. Throughout this the actor is tossing his head back and forth a little too much; at some point it goes from looking like he’s very distressed to looking like something came loose in his neck.

Kirk asks about the messages the Enterprise got and the guy confirms that they didn’t send them. Then he starts ranting and raving about why, why, why did they do it, there has to be a reason, THERE HAS TO BE A REASON!

Later, Kirk is talking to Spock in his quarters about how this whole thing was obviously a trap to lure the Enterprise in because it’s the only protection for this part of the Federation (yes, they finally came up with a name for the Federation). Sorry, hang on—one ship is the only protection for a whole border area of the Federation? How much protection can that ship possibly offer, especially when it’s constantly scooting around the galaxy doing all manner of other things?

Spock points out that they have no actual proof that this is an invasion and that there could be other explanations, but Kirk doesn’t wanna hear it. Spock looks like he’s going to argue for a second, but then just says that they’ll have to make sure the alien ship doesn’t make it home, in that case. Kirk says that he intends to do that. “If we can keep them in the dark,” he says, “they’ll never dare move against us.” Uh, they already did move against you, though? And they could hardly have been any more in the dark at the time than they are now.

Despite Spock still looking unhappy, Kirk orders Sulu to overtake the other vessel and lock on phaser banks. After the break, we move up to the bridge, where one of the helmsmen says that they’re now out of explored space. Kirk asks Spock what he knows about this neck of the cosmos and Spock says they’ve got pretty much nuthin. Just some unsubstantiated rumors (or “space legends” which are like regular legends but in space) about strange signals and possibly some intelligent life.

Sulu says the alien ship has sped up to warp six. Kirk orders the Enterprise to speed up to warp seven. Everyone’s shocked at this. Spock points out that this is dangerous—or, as Scotty puts it, “We’ll either catch them or blow up.” But Kirk has never listened to a safety warning in his life and he’s not about to start now.

Spock comes over quietly to make a plea for maybe not blowing the aliens out of the sky, perhaps we could just chase them off? Kirk sternly tells him no, because they’re the only policemen around here, and a crime has been committed, which means that they now have to personally chase the criminals down and execute them. That’s what police are for, right?

This all feels a little bit extreme for Kirk, to be honest. That he would be furious and horrified after witnessing what happened to the colony is perfectly reasonable, of course. That he would want to see justice done, and feel a need to act quickly as the only representative of the Federation around, sure. But Kirk’s just not really the type to run forward in a bloodlust like this. I mean, he watched an established enemy of the Federation break a century-long treaty and obliterate several manned bases in what was most definitely a premeditated act of war, and he reacted more calmly and deliberately than this, with concern for the ramifications of the situation even as he was chasing down the attackers. We’ve seen him offer mercy to an alien that (apparently) had every intention of destroying the Enterprise, and ruminate extensively over how best to deal with a man he suspected of being a mass murderer. We saw him be kind to the literal embodiment of his own dark side. Here he not only charges off with every intent to destroy the alien ship without even sending a hail, he scolds Spock for suggesting anything else. It just doesn’t ring true to me. I suspect this is because the message this episode is going for is about as subtle as a brick to the head, and Kirk acting with more complex characterization would have gotten in the way of that.

The alien ship goes to warp seven, so Kirk orders them to go to warp eight, which Scotty takes as a personal insult, judging by his expression. Careful there, Kirk. If you go too fast you might overshoot them entirely.

[ID: A gif from Spaceballs showing a ship accelerating into space, signs lighting up saying LIGHT SPEED--RIDICULOUS SPEED--LUDICROUS SPEED and then the ship overtaking another ship, leaving a plaid pattern, while one of the occupants incredulously says, “They’ve gone to plaid.” ]

Eventually they start to close in on the other ship, as they approach an unknown solar system. Apparently that’s not home base for the aliens, because they’re headed away from it. It seems that someone lives there, though, because Uhura reports that the Enterprise is being scanned from the system. There’s nothing hostile about the scans, but they are steadily increasing in intensity.

Before we can figure that one out, something even more weird happens: the alien ship starts slowing down. All the way down: from warp seven to warp six, five, four, three, two, one, sublight annnnnnd finally a complete stop.

Kirk thinks this is finally their chance and orders Sulu to power up phasers and move in for the kill. But then suddenly there’s a Shake. Well, in this case, really more of a hard lean, as, just like the alien ship, the Enterprise also screeches to a halt. Metaphorically screeches. There’s no sound in space. But you know what I mean.

[ID: The darkened bridge of the Enterprise tilting forward, with Kirk and the helmsmen leaning against the helm while Spock and Scotty hang onto the railings. Sulu is saying, “Warp six...warp five...” ]

Once everyone detangles themselves from the railings, the reports start to come in: there’s no apparent damage and the life support is still working fine, but the phaser guys report that they suddenly have no power, and Scotty says the engines are dead cold. Something is holding them in place, something that seems to be coming from that solar system over there. Kirk protests that this is impossible, but Spock points out that it obviously isn’t because, uh, it’s happening.

Then the lights start pulsing and the viewscreen turns to a bunch of swirly colors.

[ID: Kirk standing behind the helmsman on the bridge, looking at the viewscreen, which is showing a swirl of green, red, blue and yellow lights.]

The colors say that they are the Metrons, and the Enterprise is one of two ships that have come into their space on a mission of violence, which is not permissible. Well it might have been nice if you’d given any kind of indication of that before we got here. Why are all these super-advanced alien civilizations so bad at marking their territory boundaries? I know that’s hard in space but with all the technology these guys usually have you’d think they could make an effort.

The Metrons then go on to say that they’ve scanned the ship and learned that these violent tendencies are inherent to the occupants. I guess they read the ‘Humans: We’re Super Violent’ file on the ship computers, right next to the ‘Humans: We Hate Captivity’ one that the Talosians read. Really, you have to wonder why they keep all this philosophical information on the ship. Anyway, the Metrons say they’re going to resolve this conflict in the way most suited to the ‘limited mentalities’ of those involved. They tell Kirk that he and the captain of the other ship, which belongs to a race called the Gorn, are going to be taken to a specially prepared planet to settle their dispute there. They’ll even be given a recording-chronicling device in the hopes that maybe a record of this will dissuade others from entering this system. Hey, you know what I bet would really help dissuade others from entering your system? Giving any indication that it’s your system and you don’t want people in it before they randomly stumble across it.

Kirk asks the Metrons what makes them think they can interfere, and they say, “It is you who are interfering. We are simply putting a stop to it.” Excuse me? Two groups engaged in a conflict between the two of them, that didn’t involve you at all, came close to you and you immediately took control of the situation and decided to force them to resolve it in a way that you thought was best. What, exactly, was the Enterprise ‘interfering’ with here, and where do you get off saying you aren’t? I’m not saying this conflict is a good thing, but that doesn’t change the fact that the Metrons are very much interfering in it, particularly given that they obviously have the power to just make any ships coming near their territory just stop and turn around if that was all they wanted.

They go on to say that this planet has sufficient resources for either combatant to make lethal weapons to kill the other. Whoever wins can go on their way unharmed; whoever loses will be destroyed along with their ship “in the interests of peace.” What...why do you think that will preserve peace?? And what happened to acts of violence not being permissible? Killing an entire ship full of people is sure an act of violence if I ever heard of one. For that matter, so is forcing two people to fight to the death. I guess violence is only bad if the lesser people do it.

The Metrons say there will be no argument, and just like that, Kirk disappears from the bridge. Man, you just can’t go anywhere in this galaxy without Superior Aliens vanishing you right off your ship.

Kirk finds himself suddenly in the middle of a rocky desert, facing down the captain of the Gorn ship. Turns out the Gorn look like lizard people with disco-ball eyes.

[ID: An over the shoulder shot of Kirk in a desert facing a muscled green lizard-like alien wearing only fingerless leather gloves and a red and gold patterned tunic sort of thing.]

After the break, Kirk starts telling us about how he’s been “placed on the surface of an asteroid” by the Metrons. Not as a captain’s log or anything, he’s just narrating. Out of force of habit, I guess. Also, evidently he was zoning out during the monologue, because the Metrons said they were putting him on a planet, not an asteroid.

If said planet/asteroid seems familiar, it’s probably because you’ve seen it before: this was shot at the Vasquez Rocks, a national park in California which has been a shooting location for so many films, TV shows, and music videos, there’s an entire Wikipedia page dedicated just to listing them. We saw the Vasquez Rocks previously in Shore Leave, and we’ll see them two more times in TOS; they also showed up once in Next Generation, twice in Voyager, once in Enterprise, and in Star Trek IV, Star Trek (2009), and Star Trek Into Darkness. Whew! The place is so associated with Star Trek in particular that the most prominent and recognizable rock formation has become unofficially known as Kirk’s Rock.

Anyway, enough about rocks. Back to the action (such as it is). Kirk says that he’s going to have to fight to remember that the Gorn is an advanced and formidable opponent, because “like most humans I seem to have an instinctive revulsion to reptiles.” Most humans? Some humans do, sure, but if the amount of snake pictures I see on tumblr is anything to go by, most is a reach. Although the Gorn does make a noise uncomfortably similar to a Minecraft spider, which I think you would get a lot more people to admit to having a revulsion to. Including me.

The Gorn (who is never given a name, so let’s call them Gornzilla) breaks off a hefty branch from a nearby tree and starts advancing on Kirk. Kirk breaks off a much smaller tree branch and looks at it for a moment before realizing that’s not gonna do and throwing it aside. Fortunately he’s able to put the tree between him and Gornzilla in time for their branch to come down on the tree instead of him, breaking it in the process.

Well, now that they’ve both lost their sticks, Kirk and Gornzilla will have to try and kill each other like civilized people: barehanded. Of course, TOS fight scenes are bad enough when none of the combatants are wearing stiff, awkward, mobility and vision-restricting costumes, so you can just about imagine how bad this one is. Here’s a sample:

[ID: A gif showing Kirk stiffly and awkwardly slamming both fists into the Gorn while the Gorn flails around trying to hit him.]

Kirk eventually breaks away from the terrible grappling and runs up the hill a little, where he hefts up a rock and, with a great effort, throws it at Gornzilla. It hits Gornzilla square in the chest...and bounces off, without any noticeable effect at all. Gornzilla then picks up a much bigger rock and throws it at Kirk. That one misses—this story would have been a lot shorter and a lot less PG-rated if it hadn’t. At that point Kirk decides that discretion is the better part of valor and takes off into the hills.

Back up on the Enterprise, Spock is conferring with Scotty, suggesting various things they could try to get the ship moving. But, of course, Scotty’s already tried all of those, and probably about two dozen other things as well, none of which have worked. And Uhura still doesn’t have any information about the Metrons or what force is holding them in place. Spock looks tired.

Down on the planet or asteroid or whatever we’re calling it, Kirk has found a place to hunker down for a moment and talk into the recording device that the Metrons gave him. After asking anyone who finds the device to return it to Starfleet—sure, that seems likely to happen—he relates how he’s locked in combat with the Gorn. The Gorn is much stronger than him, Kirk notes, but he has the advantage when it comes to agility—and, he hopes, cleverness. What Kirk doesn’t realize is that Gornzilla can hear him on their device, and they don’t look too impressed with his opinion of his own cleverness.

[ID: The Gorn poking their head up from a rock, communicator device in one hand, while Kirk says, “He’s not agile.”]

uh, rude

Kirk seems to assume Gornzilla is male, which seems a bit silly to me; even putting aside how complicated gender is for humans, and even assuming this unknown alien race has anything like a gender division that would make sense to us—the Gorn are reptiles. How well could you tell if a lizard was male or female by looking at it from a distance? (Don’t answer that if you’re a herpetologist.)

Regardless of Gornzilla’s gender, Kirk knows that he’s got to find one of those weapons the Metrons were talking about, because “barehanded...against the Gorn...I have no chance.” Well, it might help if you didn’t stop to monologue dramatically every five minutes. Just a bit of friendly advice there.

Meanwhile, McCoy comes up to the bridge to ask what in the heck is going on this time, and what Spock plans to do about it. Spock tells him he’s going to do nothing, because that’s all he can do about it. And, indeed, I can tell you now that nobody on the ship is going to accomplish anything for the rest of the story. They’re just there to occasionally react to break up the action.

Kirk continues running around looking for weapons, but aside from a lot of rocks all he finds is some tall bamboo-looking plants. Gornzilla, on the other hand, is being more proactive: they’ve found some vines and are making some kind of net out of them.

Next, Kirk stumbles across some big ol’ diamonds, just kind of spilling out of a crack in the ground as, y’know, diamonds do.

[ID: Kirk leaning against a rock formation and looking at a vein of diamonds spilling onto the ground.]

“man, I could make a rad pickaxe out of these”

Kirk stops to glumly narrate into his recorder about how he’s found “an incredible fortune in stones...yet I would trade them all for a hand phaser.” An incredible fortune in stones? In the 23rd century? Diamonds are super common in space (not to mention possible to artificially create with technology we have now), so one would think the price would have dropped a bit by then. Even De Beers could (hopefully) only do so much to enforce scarcity once we start finding planets full of the things.

Having loudly announced the uselessness of diamonds to the world, Kirk heads up the hill, where he sees Gornzilla chipping out a stone knife. I gotta say, Kirk’s whole superior cleverness thing isn’t looking too great right now, considering all he’s done is run around and complain about how he can’t find any weapons, while at least Gornzilla is doing something.

But perhaps Kirk’s chance is about to come, because just then he spots something: a large rock, conveniently positioned near the edge of an incline. Which Gornzilla is almost directly underneath.

Well, it doesn’t take too much cleverness to figure that one out. Kirk climbs up the incline and starts pushing.

[ID: Kirk pushing a boulder up the side of a sharply angled incline.]

IT’S OVER GORN, I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND

With a lot of effort, Kirk manages to push the boulder off the cliff, and with quite amazing precision it pinballs directly into Gornzilla, knocking them down and pinning them under it. Triumphant, Kirk runs down the mountain to get a closer look. This turns out to be a bad idea, because Gornzilla is not nearly as dead as they look. They manage to push the rock off of them and get up, apparently not significantly set back by any of this. The tables quickly get turned as they advance on Kirk, who has to turn and run once again.

Unfortunately, this time Kirk fails his spot check, and runs straight into a tripwire (well, a tripvine, more accurately) that dumps a whole bunch of rocks on him, leaving him trapped and struggling while Gornzilla advances, knife at the ready. That would be the end for Kirk if Gornzilla didn’t make one fatal mistake: moving away the biggest boulder trapping Kirk to get a better shot at him, which allows Kirk to finally squirm free of the trap and escape, though not without an injured leg.

On the ship, Spock tries to call the Metrons, begging them for a conference. They don’t respond. Jerks.

Rather the worse for wear now, Kirk limps up to a rock with a lot of thick yellow dust on it and stops to monologue about it. Kirk. Buddy. Please. Focus, here. He identifies the dust as sulfur, which is not of much interest to him because he’s still trying to find the weapon that the Metrons mentioned. Considering your opponent just came real dang close to killing you with nothing but some vines and rocks, it might be time to consider that the Metrons meant for the combatants to use actual parts of the environment to make weapons, instead of just wandering around the hills looking for a treasure chest full of guns.

Still, Kirk thinks there is something notable about sulfur. “Something...very old, if only I could remember...” Well, if you mix it with brimstone, you get Hell, or so I’ve heard. Or at least a very bad smell.

On the bridge, McCoy is leaning on the captain’s chair despite Spock’s best efforts to sit in it and muttering about how it’s “inconceivable” that they’re immobilized like this, because this episode didn’t know what else to do with McCoy. Which is a bit odd I think, because while there are some episodes where it would be understandable to struggle to find a role for a given character, this is not one of them. This is an episode with a.) a big moral dilemma, and b.) clear tension about and between Kirk, his choices, the other characters, and the ultimate message of the episode. That is McCoy’s jam. McCoy has both strong and passionate views about the preservation of life, and absolutely no compunctions about yelling at his best friend and ranking officer if he thinks he needs to. He was there to tell Kirk not to act in vengeance against Kodos; he was there to counsel Kirk against doing something that could start a war with the Romulans; that he didn’t storm up to the bridge and chew Kirk’s ear off for going in guns blazing against the Gorn is just not believable to me. But that would have gotten in the way of the whole “humans bad and violent” plot, and taken up valuable fight scene time, so McCoy just has to lurk on the bridge looking grumpy for the rest of the episode.

Suddenly, the screen lights up again as the Metrons return. Or the Metron? To be honest I don’t really know if “we are the Metrons” means that the Metrons are a hivemind kind of thing, or if there just happens to be one of them speaking for the whole group.

Anyway, the Metron or Metrons say that Kirk is losing the battle, so his crew should make whatever memorial arrangements they have in their culture now because they don’t have much time left. McCoy yells at them to stop all this nonsense “in the name of civilization” but the Metron(s) reply that the humans’ violent intent and actions demonstrate that they are not civilized. Attacking someone who attacked you, very uncivilized. Now, grabbing a couple of people who were doing something you don’t approve of, making them fight to the death, and then killing the four hundred or so people associated with whoever lost—that’s civilized. After all the Metrons are Super Advanced and they said so, so it must be true.

But, the Metron(s) say, they are not without compassion and recognize that it is possible the crew may have feelings towards their captain (possible? if there were any more feelings towards Kirk on this ship it would explode), so they’re going to start streaming the events on the planet to the viewscreen so the crew can watch their captain die. That...sure is compassionate.

The viewscreen then changes to show them Kirk kneeling in the dirt next to a rock with a bunch of white stuff on it, while Gornzilla approaches him ominously. McCoy bemoans that they have no way of contacting Kirk, which Spock agrees with, because unless he’s mistaken the white stuff on the rocks is potassium nitrate. No, now, hold on, I’m calling bullshit on that one, Spock. Unless your superior Vulcan vision comes with a built-in spectrograph, how in the hell can you tell that that’s potassium nitrate just by looking at it? It’s just white powder. A lot of stuff looks like white powder. That could be cocaine for all you know.

“So?” McCoy asks. “Perhaps nothing, doctor,” Spock says, “perhaps everything.” Thanks, that’s helpful.

Meanwhile Kirk, being the dignified and sensible captain that he is, is licking the white stuff off his hand. Potassium nitrate, also known as saltpeter, isn’t poisonous—in fact it’s commonly added to food—but I still don’t recommend licking unidentified white powders to find out what they are. There’s a whole lot of ways that can go extremely wrong. Also I don’t know why Kirk would know what saltpeter tastes like, but apparently he does, because he grins triumphantly and sets out at a limp-run across the desert.

As he’s on his way, though, Kirk hears a deep, slithery kind of voice (provided by our familiar friend Ted Cassidy in his last TOS role) saying, “Earthling captain...” “Who is this, the Metron?” Kirk replies. Gee, I don’t know, Kirk, who could that voice that sounds exactly like you’d expect a lizard person to sound like be? Probably the person he’s already heard talking, who didn’t sound exactly like that, right?

No, of course not. It’s Gornzilla, and they inform Kirk that they’ve heard everything he said into his device. WHOOPS.

Gornzilla tells Kirk that they weary of the chase, and if he waits for them they’ll be merciful and quick. “Like you were at Cestus 3?” Kirk asks. Gornzilla retorts that the Federation was invading and establishing an outpost in the Gorns’ space, and that all they were doing was destroying invaders. Hearing this from the ship, McCoy is aghast, and wonders out loud if it could be true that Cestus 3 was in Gorn space. Spock admits that it could be since they know very little about that section of the galaxy. “Then we could be in the wrong,” McCoy says.

Okay, hold the phone here. Yes, it’s entirely possible that the Federation established a colony in what the Gorn considered to be their territory. But that doesn’t change the fact that the Gorns’ first response was to slaughter the entire colony without warning. They not only made no effort to communicate with the Federation first, they completely ignored said colony surrendering and begging for their lives. Then they set up a trap designed to draw in what is apparently (illogically, but still) the only protection for that entire section of space, with intent to destroy said vessel and its crew. So we can’t just say the Gorn were ignorant of what the Federation is and didn’t understand the surrender—they obviously know enough about humans to fake a convincing message to them! And it’s not like the Federation knew it was their territory and decided to move in anyway. They had no idea there was any sapient life in that area, let alone sapient life that saw the whole place as theirs. I get that it’s not exactly easy to establish clear borders in space, but by that same token you have to have some awareness that other people are not necessarily going to be aware of what is and isn’t your territory, because they have no way of knowing that! So no, I don’t think that the Gorn are in the right. If you had a big stretch of property and you didn’t mark the boundaries of it in any way, then yes, you could claim that someone wandering onto it would be trespassing, but that wouldn’t make you in the right for immediately shooting them in the head without even talking to them. And then luring the local police over so you could shoot them too before they could do anything about it.

Kirk, at least, doesn’t appear to have ethical quandaries foremost on his mind at the moment. Instead he’s returned to the bamboo-like plants, where he finds a particularly big hollow chunk of one. He then returns to the deposits of sulfur and nitrate, dropping a fistful of each into the bamboo tube, along with some of the diamonds. All he needs now, Spock tells us, is some coal, because he’s making gunpowder. Which is usually made with charcoal, not coal, but that’s probably well down the list of problems with this plan.

Fortunately for Kirk, coal is one of the many minerals easily found laying around on the surface of this planet, so he adds some of that to his collection. This is starting to feel more and more like a quest in a video game. I half expect Kirk to whip out a crafting table to combine all his ingredients on. But no, he just dumps it all out on a rock and mixes up the various powders. How Kirk knows the correct proportions for gunpowder is a mystery to me; how many people do you think could give the correct proportions for gunpowder now, when we actually still use the stuff? Aside from chemists, or gunsmiths, or history enthusiasts or—look, I stand by my point.

Gunpowder, or something adjacent to gunpowder, assembled, Kirk then tears a strip off his pants (from the end of his pants. settle down there) and, as Gornzilla approaches, starts hitting the Metron device onto the rock, trying to catch a spark onto the fabric. He gets one just in time, lights his makeshift cannon, and Gornzilla gets an explosion of diamond chunks in the chest.

[ID: Kirk kneeling next to his makeshift bamboo cannon, which has just emitted a big cloud of smoke.]

And yes, the Mythbusters tested this one. Shockingly, they concluded that it would not work, firstly because it’s just not possible to hand-mix gunpowder in that way and get anything strong enough to actually explode; and secondly, if you did put working gunpowder in a hunk of bamboo and light it, the whole thing would just blow up in your face. Even after significantly reinforcing the bamboo, they couldn’t get a result that wouldn’t have killed Kirk along with Gornzilla. Don’t try this at home, is what I’m saying. For a lot of reasons, really.

With his opponent down, Kirk picks up Gornzilla’s stone knife and moves in for the coup de grace. But then he hesitates and says—no. He won’t do it. The Metrons, he yells up to the sky, will have to get their entertainment somewhere else.

At this, Gornzilla suddenly disappears, and this punk shows up.

[ID: A human-looking alien with short blonde hair, wearing a very sparkly white dress/toga and lacing around their ankles, standing in front of some rocks.]

pictured: the voice of the Metrons, or the Metronatron

The Metron says that by sparing Gornzilla, Kirk demonstrated the ‘advanced trait’ of mercy, which the Metrons didn’t realize humans were capable of. Really? All that scanning of the ship records didn’t give you any hint that humans were capable of mercy? You guys sure didn’t look very hard before deciding to condemn everyone on the ship, huh?

So the Metrons aren’t going to destroy Kirk and the Enterprise after all, because it wouldn’t be...civilized, the Metron says with a smirk. Fuck off.

Then they say that they sent Gornzilla back to their ship and offer to destroy them for Kirk, but he says no, that won’t be necessary, because they’re probably going to die anyway from the diamond chunks in their internal organs maybe the humans and Gorn can talk and reach an agreement. Which the Gorn have shown absolutely no interest in doing, but cool.

“There is hope for you,” the Metron says. “Perhaps, in several thousand years, your people and mine shall meet to reach an agreement.” Yeah, maybe several thousand years from now your people will have finally stopped being such insufferable dicks.

With that, Kirk is magicked back to the Enterprise, and I guess they healed him up for good measure because he suddenly looks a lot less beat up. He lets everyone cheer and crowd around him in relief for a minute before telling them to get back to their posts so they can get outta here. But when Sulu prepares to do so, he exclaims that they’ve somehow been transported “clear across the galaxy—five hundred parsecs from where we are, I mean, were.” The galaxy is actually about thirty-four thousand parsecs across, but—you know what, never mind. Let’s just go.

Kirk tells him not to worry about it, just head back to Cestus 3. As Sulu does so, Spock comes over and tells Kirk that they lost the picture after Kirk fired the cannon off, so he’s rather curious about what happened after that. Instead of answering that question Kirk says, “We’re a rather promising species, Mr. Spock, did you know that?” “I’ve frequently had my doubts.” Thanks Spock.

“Never mind, Mr. Spock,” Kirk says, “it doesn’t make much sense to me either.” Spock is like “okay but...could you give me a straight answer” and Kirk is like “NOPE” and then the episode ends.

Arena is often regarded as a classic Star Trek episode, and hey, I’m not saying that Kirk shooting a lizard-person with a handmade bamboo gun isn’t absolutely classic Star Trek in every way, or that the extended struggle between Kirk and an inscrutable alien among a rocky and treacherous landscape isn’t enjoyable (albeit sometimes for other reasons than were intended). But, as you may have gotten just a little hint of by now, the Metrons piss me off.

For one thing, their blatant hypocrisy is staggering. Even the thought of committing violence is apparently a sign of being uncivilized—and, in their books, ‘uncivilized’ seems to mean ‘not worthy of living’--but for them to go all Hunger Games on the alleged criminals is okay for some reason?

Let me put it this way: I have two cats. These cats do not get along. One of them is a huge bully who will immediately try to pick a fight with the other one the moment he sees her. Now, I’m not gonna go calling myself superior to anything, but I can say with some confidence that I am smarter and more powerful than my cats. I don’t think the bully cat has any kind of righteous cause against the other cat, and I don’t approve of him fighting with her. Cat fights are, one might say, not permissible in my house, or at least strongly discouraged. But I know enough about cats to be quite sure that they are never going to sit down and have diplomatic talks and come to a peaceful agreement about their dispute, whatever the hell it is. In general, I don’t think they’re ever going to resolve this conflict in any way that I would like them to.

So was my response to this to go “well, if violence is all you understand, violence is what you’ll get” and lock them in a room until one of them killed the other one? OF COURSE NOT. If I did something like that you’d think I was incredibly cruel, and you would be absolutely right. Instead, since I recognize they aren’t ever going to like each other, I keep them separated so they don’t fight. Because I am smarter and more powerful than my cats, I accept that I have the responsibility to use that power to help them and take care of them. That may mean sometimes doing things they don’t like or not letting them do things they would like, but only because I think it’s in their best interests. And those are cats. Not sapient beings with spacefaring civilizations!

Throughout the episode we’re just supposed to accept that the Metrons are Superior and Very Advanced, even though the only proof we have of that is that the Metrons themselves said so. Yes, they’re obviously more powerful than humans, but that doesn’t make them better. It doesn’t give them the right to do whatever they want to anyone else they encounter.

I know the central theme behind TOS was the idea that humanity could and would get better. And I get that, I really do. I look at the news every day and I desperately want us to get better. I want to imagine that future. And I like it when Trek says, look, we can get better in the future, by being less bigoted, by looking after each other, by being open-minded and curious and accepting and caring. I don’t like it when Trek portrays morality as some kind of linear system where us puny humans are a lowly level one or whatever, but some day maybe we can work our way up to level ten like the Very Smart and Superior and Advanced aliens that occasionally show up to look down on us. Because, not to get all allegorical, but our history and our present is full of groups who declared that they were Very Smart and Superior and More Advanced than other groups, and that therefore it was okay for them to do whatever they wanted. It’s never turned out well for the other groups.

Which is why I really don’t wanna call the Metrons godlike beings, but they do fit into that general category of TOS entities, so, ugh, fine.

TREK TROPE TALLY: We’ve got one redshirt death and one blueshirt death with O’Herlihy and Lang, who thought they were gonna get a nice dinner, the poor bastards. And we’ve got--sigh--another case of Godlike Beings. But no shirt rips, which is surprising given everything Kirk got up to in this episode. Next time we’ll be hittin’ the time vortex with Tomorrow Is Yesterday.

#star trek #star trek TOS #star trek season one #1.18 Arena #recap tag #star trek TOS recaps #1.18 Arena recap

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hufflepuff-ravenclaw-reviews · 5 years

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Supergirl Season 4 Review

I know that in the previous seasons, I've been doing what the different characters have been doing, but I think that maybe I'll just kind of gloss over the individual episodes and point out the important parts.

E01

J'onn has joined a support group for aliens, that focuses on things like helping them adjust to life on earth. A lot of them struggle with their physical differences from humans and often hide them with the cloaking device thing that Lena made in the previous season (originally for Brainy, but then she started mass-producing it for everybody). This leads to a lot of alien-based hate crimes... of which Kara is first to dismiss some of them, but it eventually get to the point where not even she can deny the fact.

This leads to two of this seasons big bads, Marcy and Otis, who are going around and terrorizing aliens. Not only that, but they appear to be at the forefront of a new “humans first” movement that's cropping up.

They try to attack the POTUS, who if you'll remember from previous seasons, is an alien. However, their attack wasn't so much to kill her, but rather, to expose her as an alien. Which they did.

And speaking of Brainy, he's obviously still sticking around as the “replacement goldfish” for Winn (we'll get back to that in a moment), but he's having a hard time adjusting to life in the 21st century. Mainly because he's used to being part of the League, but now he's under Alex's command, and she... doesn't like him running off and doing whatever he pleases, to the point where she “grounds” him. At one point, Brainy puts on some clothes like Winn used to wear (tight plaid button-downs and a cardigan), and he plays with a NERF gun, as a way for Alex to maybe see him more like Winn. However, both of them are quick to agree that Brainy needs to be Brainy, and leave the Winn stuff to Winn. So, you know... at least they didn't completely “replacement goldfish” Winn.

Meanwhile, we introduce a new character: Nia Nal. (My precious cinnamon roll.) She's a new reporter for CatCo, and James asks that Kara take Nia under her wing. And as Kara is quick to realize 1) Nia is basically a baby Kara and 2) Kara has turned into Cat Grant.

Oh, and James is in super awful legal trouble for his vigilante justice as Guardian. (Which, okay. So the pretty blonde alien gets to do it, but the second that the black human does kind of the same thing, suddenly, that's not okay?)

E02

Due to having been exposed, the alien POTUS steps down amidst growing tensions; Vice President Baker takes over. We will be seeing a LOT of him in the rest of the season.

And it's not just in the White House and in DC where tensions are rising... factions of “human first” movements are popping up all over the place, including in the DEO.

Meanwhile, while Brainy goes to get pizzas from a place he likes, his image inducer goes on the fritz... Thanks to Marcy and Otis hacking into L-Corp's servers (they went after client 001, which is Brainy, as I might have mentioned earlier). The pizza shop owner gets angry and upset upon finding out that “Barney” is an alien, and it's only thanks to Nia randomly showing up around the same time that the situation is diffused without... too much violence. Brainly obviously wants to thank Nia for her help, and she promises him that if they're meant to meet again, then they will. (HAHAHAHAHA OH MY SWEET SUMMER CHILDREN.) Brainy later expresses to Alex how the incident shook him so much that he gave Supergirl/Kara bad advice in the field; it's thrown him off his game.

Both of them are obviously shaken from the incident. Nia goes back to CatCo, where she tells James that he needs to make a public statement about what's going on. However, being not only a journalist, but also Guardian (and all of that legal trouble he's been in recently...), it's not exactly the best time to make splashy statements.

Marcy then attempts to steal sometime from L-Corp, which leads to her being captured. In the DEO, she then “seduces” a guard over to the “human” side, to fight for their growing army. When Otis is captured, the guard then helps both of them escape. Once they're free, the three of them set off a kryptonite bomb.

J'onn meanwhile goes to a rally of a group that will later be known as “Agents of Liberty”. (I hope that it goes without saying that J'onn is the only black person in the room. Most of them look like trailer trash. I think that we all know what this is a reference of...)

E03

There's a backdrop of this episode about Kara being treated for the kryptonite by the DEO, but it's not the central point of this episode. (Mainly because it would be largely showing Alex worrying over Kara while Brainy and Lena work on getting the air clean.)

Instead, this episode goes back two years ago, to this season's second-largest big bad: Ben Lockwood. Like a lot of villains, he didn't wake up on day and decide “I'm going to be evil and kill Supergirl!” Which is why we need to jump back 2 years earlier, to show the descent into Agent Liberty. His father used to run a steel mill, but it's been put out of business by some alien steel corporation. Lena Luther used to contract with Lockwood senior, but obviously, since the future is in this other kind of steel, she's moved on to that. Ben tries to get help for his father from Lena, but she's kind of like “sink or swim.” Which honestly should be everybody's opinion about this kind of stuff. Like if your company's going under, maybe you should take a good, hard look at why, rather than screaming about your product being outsourced from some other planet.

When the aliens from season 2 invaded, their house was destroyed thanks to some aliens falling through the ceiling in the middle of a fight. Very little was done to actually help the Lockwood family after that, which... okay, yeah. That would be the time to get fucking angry. Alien invaders destroyed my home and the government refuses to pony up even for the cost of repairs. (But then again: welcome to America.) After this, Ben tries to go to CatCo to say that they need to be reporting on things like this, but while James listens to what Ben has to say, he pretty much refuses Ben.

Angry at how unjust that life has been treating him, Ben then takes it out on some of his alien students at the university where he teaches history. Some of the alien students walk out, and somebody complained to the dean such that she fires him. He tries to argue “that's how history is!” But honestly, this is you just being a racist dickweed, professor. He then stalks one of his alien students to the local alien bar, and he shows his true colors when he accuses her of having reported him to the dean... even though she insists that she didn't say or do anything (other than to walk out from the class). Kara is there to diffuse the situation, and he accuses her of being an alien sympathizer.

Another alien attack then creates an accident at the old steel mill, and Lockwood senior is crushed to death under a steel beam. Which seems a fitting end for a man who thought that he'd go down screaming about steel... This sends Ben into an even worse fit of rage, and he starts to group up with some of the former employees from the steel mill to destroy the new alien steel mill.

He's passing out “humans first” brochures on a street corner when Marcy picks him up, and asks him to help with their cause. He then goes to the warehouse, where he puts on the “Agent Liberty” mask, which quickly becomes the symbol of the “humans first” movement. (Think of it like those V for Vendetta masks, if they had the motives of the KKK.)

E04

With the help of getting Kara under those special sunlamps straight away (Thanks J'onn!) and an anti-kryptonite suit Lena developed for Supergirl, Kara doesn't die. (Well, were you expecting the titular character to die?) However, she feels helpless knowing that she's benched until Lena and Brainy can come up with a way to clean the kyrptonite from the air.

Lena and Brainy work to do that, but it's difficult for Brainy to move past his fear of having almost lost Supergirl. Lena tells him that she compartmentalizes difficult emotions to get things like clearing the kryptonite from the air. She tells him to imagine putting the emotion into a tiny box, and then to lock that box away. Since Brainy is half computer, this is less of a metaphor and more of something that he can actually do.

Meanwhile, J'onn meets the fiancee of the leader of the alien support group, who went missing back in the first episode. His name is Manchester Black, he's insanely British (and proud), and kind of a bad ass, but probably in the worst way possible. Obviously he's there to find his missing fiancee, Fiona. Since J'onn has also been looking for her, they agree to team up.

They end up finding Fiona at a carnival, where she'd being forced to control some aliens to fight against the DEO/anybody who shows up. However, back when she was taken, she was stabbed, and I think that the only reason why they kept her alive was because they needed her. But now that she's been compromised... bye Fiona. Manchester is insanely crushed by her death, and we'll explore this in depth later.

James showed up to the fight as Guardian, but rather than to take what happened in context, the growing Agents of Liberty people instead spinned Guardian fighting aliens as the fact that he's a human sympathizer, and thus, an Agent of Liberty symbol and ally.

Meanwhile, the president wasn't exactly happy when Alex let Kara into the field (and by “let”, of course I mean that Kara did whatever she damned well pleased, because she's Supergirl), so he's put this other agent to oversee the DEO, Col. Hailey.

E05

The Agents of Liberty gave the former DEO agent this thing that lets him drain the powers from aliens to use for a short amount of time. As you might imagine, fighting him is not ideal for Kara, because he can just drain and eventually kill her.

Meanwhile, J'onn hooks Kara up with this alien healer, so she writes an article about him. However, the Agents of Liberty take this special stone of his that he uses to remain alive, and use it to super-power the DEO agent so that he'll retain the stolen powers for longer.

This leads to them cornering the DEO agent, and trapping him inside of a forcefield, but there's also a lot of civilians in the area. He's about to go “nuclear”, but Alex manages to talk him down, and says that he joined the DEO to make the world saver, and he's going to kill a lot of civilians-- human civilians-- because of his shitty actions.

While all of that is going on, Lena drags James to some... big muckety-muck event, where he runs into Ben Lockwood. In this episode, he's basically just some blowhard political asshole on youtube, so it's kind of questionable how he got into the event. But meeting Ben is important for later. James later calls Ben and asks him to “hook him up” to some of the other Agents of Liberty, not knowing at the moment that Ben IS Agent Liberty.

Following the healer's almost death, and Kara tracking down the man's estranged daughter, she learned that the daughter saw her father in a new light because of her article. Kara decides that she's going to start a series about average aliens, so that maybe everybody can begin to see them as just... people. Who like normal things, and have normal jobs, and who have normal lives. But who happen to be from some planet and can shoot fireballs or whatever.

E06

The Agents of Liberty drop a manifesto all over the city, but Agent Hailey refuses to use DEO funding in order to look into this further. I mean, they're only a growing terrorist organization, but sure. However, Alex tells Brainy to continue looking into it under the table. He tries to decode some of it, but the most threatening thing he can get out from it is... ham sandwich. Horrifying.

Meanwhile, Manchester has kidnapped one of the Agents of Liberty, and tortures some information out from him... because that's how he rolls. (There's this big, arching plot with him that he was a horrible person until he met Fiona. She made him want to change for the better, but after she died, he kind of snapped and went back to his old ways.)

And in comparison to how Manchester does thing, James instead goes to talk to somebody that Ben hooked him up with. Now, if you'll remember, Ben is The Agent Liberty, so he's in charge*, but he's putting on this face for the public (at first), that he's just some blow-hard who doesn't know anything. The guy James talks to has this dog that's trained to sniff out aliens, and then bark. (Although, what exactly does an alien smell like? They come from all over, so wouldn't each of their scents be completely and utterly different? It makes zero sense, but okay.)

And Lena and her assistant/secretary/whatever, Eve, are trying to cure... everything. With the haranel that she'd developed from the end of the previous season. They're running tests on these hearts, but nothing's being very productive as of yet. We'll get more into this later as the season goes on.

But first, it's Thanksgiving, so everybody gathers in Kara's apartment to celebrate. On top of Eliza coming down, and Alex and J'onn being there, James, Lena, Manchester, Brainy, and Nia are also there. Earlier, Nia had confessed to Kara that she had narcolepsy, which was why she kept falling asleep at her desk, but her doctor was in DC and she hadn't found a new one yet. However, when Eliza pressed about knowing a sleep doctor, Nia insisted that she had one, much to Kara's bafflement. And because it wouldn't be thanksgiving without an awful discussion of politics... guess what they all get into a fight about? Everything that's going on, plus Lena's idea that maybe we should give people powers. But not like... evil people. Just good people. (YO! NO POLITICS AT THANKSGIVING!!)

This is interrupted when it turns out that the alien residences were being marked for a later “raid” by the Agents of Liberty, so they all run around to try and stop all of this. Kara fights a lizard that can turn into a dragon, but it turns out to be some little girl's pet. Manchester ends up killing a bunch of them... because of course he did. Although James talks down his new “friend”, who then has James kidnapped. Oops.

*he's not actually in charge of shit, as the series went on, but more of that later

E07

James was kidnapped on orders of Agent Liberty. They plan on turning him into a symbol, even if he doesn't want that. And their plan is to have him blow up this symbol of alien freedoms on earth. There's this place called Shelley Island, that's kind of like Ellis Island, but for incoming aliens. They have power dampeners all around the island that... well, make your powers not work. And there's also a kind of “modern” take on the statue of liberty's outstretched arm holding the torch, which is what they intend for James to blow up. James's new friend from the previous episode tries to help him escape, but they're captured again.

Supergirl teams up with Manchester to help track down some of the Agents of Liberty. However, he plays his hand and all of this was a set-up to get her onto Shelley Island, where her powers wouldn't be as effective. They'd promised Manchester an audience with Agent Liberty.

But then it gets worse, because they keep Kara in the statue... that James is supposed to blow up. While she's trying to escape, James notices the lights in the statue, and attacks those forcing him to do the video recording. Ben had been planning to use the footage on his increasingly popular TV show, but he's pissed off when things go south for their side.

After leaving Shelley Island, Manchester is confronted by J'onn. Manchester puts this “emotion sharing” device onto him, which makes J'onn freak out. J'onn later goes to Kara, and they lament about how they wanted to see the good in Manchester, but there is little to be found.

Meanwhile while all of that is going on, Lena gets a test subject for her “cure everybody and maybe some people get superpowers”. At first, she's insanely reluctant to even begin doing this, and even when she does, she refuses to get to know the guy. Finally, little by little, she begins to open up to him, and he opens up to her. She tries to get him to leave, because she's too nice of a person, but he tells her why he wanted to do this: because he needed a new kidney. His brother offered to give him one, but his brother died on the table. He feels so awful, because he gets to live even though he's the one who should have died. This sparks Lena to give him the treatment. She later reports that he exhibited powers for three minutes before he died.

E08

Brainy knows that Nia is important and that her descendants will be important in the future. But obviously, he can't really tell Alex and Kara much about what she or her future off-spring will do without causing a rift in the space-time continuum. (Although, I think that the future he knows went flying out the window at the end of the last season? Which baffles me to no end.) Kara goes to her, and she explains that she doesn't have narcolepsy, but rather, some of the women from her planet have psychic dreams of the future, but they're often seeped in symbolism. (Yes Freud, that banana is a penis.) Brainy helps her tap into her powers, where she helps lead them to a crime.

Meanwhile, Manchester went to the Lockwood residence and ended up directly telling Mrs. Lockwood that her husband is Agent Liberty. They end up at this warehouse, exactly like Nia saw in her dream. And guess who also shows up? Supergirl, Brainy, and Nia. Nia turns out to be oddly useful in a fight, because she can foresee things happening, like a giant warehouse crane swinging, and she uses it to knock Manchester over.

As a result of this fight, both Manchester and Ben were arrested, but Ben was also outed as being Agent Liberty. As he's being taken to a squad car, he screams that the world knows who he is now, but who is Supergirl? This prompts President Baker to visit the DEO and demands that Supergirl tell them her identity. She not only refuses, but says that if they're going to be like this, then she will no longer work alongside the DEO. Oh bother.

E09

This episode was one part of the Arrow/Flash/Supergirl crossover. Didn't watch it.

E10

Kara gets called an attack of an unofficial military ship. She sees a “shimmer” of the usually invisible monster that kills all but one of the crew. The more and more that the DEO looks into the incident, the more shifty things start to become. Including Col. Hailey openly lying about everything. That is, until the truth comes out: years ago, a group in the government raised these aliens to turn them into super soldiers, but the aliens got out. And now, they're looking for payback, which involves them murdering everybody who was involved with the project. Including Hailey. What's worse is that Kara is the ONLY one who can see the aliens when they're invisible, thanks to her super-vision.

While all of that's going on, Hailey is on a mission to get to the bottom of Supergirl's secret identity. Because as if the entire thing wasn't shitty enough as it is. She interviews every DEO member, including Brainy and Alex. Everybody else simply lies to her, but Brainy is able to literally forget the data, and set it on a time to retrieve it later. Handy and also neat. However, one of the people who knows that Kara is Supergirl spills the beans to Hailey after questioning. Hailey confronts Kara right as soon as they manage to capture the last of the aliens. J'onn wipes her memory, but he can't wipe her determination to uncover Supergirl's identity. So, if he can't make Hailey forget about that, then the next best thing would be to wipe the memories of all who know. Including Alex. There's a long moment where Alex says “goodbye” to Supergirl before J'onn wipes her memory.

J'onn, meanwhile, feels like he's found his actual calling: becoming a PI. He's been helping a lot of people throughout this season, and setting up an official shop and getting his PI license seems like the next best step.

Also, there's a bit of Brainy/Nia (Brainia or Dreamerdox) in this episode. Brainy calls Nia and invites her to dinner in the most... Brainy way possible. He's kind of anxious, and hangs up without setting a time or place. Nia's clearly a little interested in him, and agrees to this, but is quickly disappointed when it turns out that Brainy only asked her in a... business context. He wants her to start fighting as a superhero, and gives her a book full of superhero costume ideas. He fails to understand why Nia's upset over the entire thing. Nia later starts to look through the book, but eventually chucks the entire thing into the bin.

E11

Throughout the season, there's been this Supergirl look-alike. We'll get more into her later. But following a training accident, she has her heart restarted, but the resulting blast creates this immense static charge that flows all the way to National City, where it gets into some pills that some dudes are selling from an RV to yuppie white school boys. (You know exactly what I'm talking about...) When ingested, they basically... make the user “hulk out” for a while, and they're filled with this immense rage.

Meanwhile, everybody's still dealing with the after-effects of having erased Alex's memory of Kara/Supergirl. For the others, it was probably??? A couple of years at most, and probably not even all that important. But since Alex is Kara's sister, this was erasing large chunks of not only her adult memory, but also her formative years as well. She forget things like Kara's favorite movie is Wizard of Oz, because Kara relates so much to Dorothy, being lost in a strange land, and no way home. But Alex feels like something is wrong, and asks J'onn to poke inside her head and make sure that nobody's been messing around in there. He hates lying to her, but Hailey finding out about Kara's identity would be worse.

While they're dealing with that, Kara volunteers to drive Nia to her hometown for some harvest festival thing. Nia explains that her hometown is a “safe haven for aliens and humans to co-mingle”. She explains on the way that her mom had a psychic dream of meeting her dad there, so she came to earth, settled, and had Nia and her sister, Maeve. On the way there, Nia has a dream where her mother dissolves into ash.

In the town, they discover pockets of Agents of Liberty, along with their alien-sniffing dogs. But Nia's family is happy to see her, and welcome Kara into their fold. Maeve won't stop talking about “when my powers come in”, and Nia just keeps feeling guiltier and guiltier over the entire thing.

After dinner, Nia is trying to talk to her mom about the powers, about how she can “get rid of it”, in the hopes that this is a thing that can be done. However, Isabel is bitten by a spider and almost instantly dies. During the impromptu memorial for her, more of those kids hopped up on Supergirl-lightning drugs show up and start causing havoc. Supergirl fights alongside Alex for the first time since her mind-wipe, and it does not go well at all.

After, Maeve confronts Nia about how she warned Maeve about the attack, and Nia admits that she has the dream powers. Maeve gets insanely upset over this, and says “you're not even a real woman”. (I think that the worse part about the fight with Maeve is that we never got any actual resolution to it by the end of the season. This episode was the first and last we see of Nia's family.) The dad gives Nia a box from Isabel. On the way back home, Kara tells Nia that she's Supergirl. Inside the box is a superhero costume Isabel foresaw “my daughter” wearing.

E12

Alex took the job as the DEO directly in the hopes that things would get more stable enough to the point where she could do two things: get a girlfriend and adopt a baby. She's done... exactly zero of those things, and she feels like she's constantly putting things on hold because of Kara or something always happening at the DEO. (And now that I think about it, this season was completely devoid of any romantic relationships for Kara.)

Brainy goes to Nia with the prediction that she's probably more likely to want to become a superhero after everything that had happened. However, Nia isn't exactly quite ready to pick up the proverbial cape so soon after her mother's death. She also invites him to her roommate, Yvette's valentine's day party.

At the party, Alex runs into some girl that she went on one date with, and then got too busy with her DEO work in order to call her back. It's... as awkward as you might expect, except that the girl is clearly interested in seeing Alex again.

After Nia gets back from dealing with the monster du jour (see below), she finds Yvette has taken a liking to Brainy, which makes him more uncomfortable than the thought of Nia liking him. He had attempted to give Nia chocolates, but Yvette ate all of them while they waited for Nia. (Rude!) She asks him to help her train.

And for the actual monster du jour, because we haven't had a whole lot of those this season... Some sort of symbiotic snake alien that implants itself into a cat burglar with a taste for fine jewelry. The snake eats the hearts of the victims, and the human host gets to make off with the jewels. It's a win-win. Kara tags along on the case with Alex under the guise of being a journalist on the scent of a good story, but Alex freaks out when the snake-thing attacks Kara and goes into OVERPROTECTIVE BIG SISTER MODE (who doesn't know that her sister is nearly invulnerable). They track the alien/human thing to this big party, where the Agents of Liberty show up and honestly just make things 10x worse than it needed to be... and when the DEO/Supergirl took down the bad guy... THEY TOOK ALL OF THE CREDIT. FOR SHOWING UP AND FUCKING EVERYTHING UP. JFC. But Nia showed up in the costume her mom made, and this is her debut as a hero.

James and Lena also break up. Which is a thing that carried over from the previous season. But they... did not exactly have a lot of chemistry. In fact, I'd say that James had more chemistry with literally everybody except for Lena. (He had more on-screen chemistry with Nia as a boss-new employee, JFC) And they'd been fighting the entire season... but the straw that broke this relationship was Hailey approaching Lena to enter into a contract that she'd make “super serum” for the government, which James thinks is morally repugnant. But their break up makes Lena accept the contract.

Meanwhile, Ben Lockwood gets out of jail on a legal loophole because the Patriot Act only protects “human life”. Ugh.

E13

Kara and Brainy take Nia to the Fortress of Solitude, where they start to train her. Brainy refuses to tell her anything about herself, stating that it'll mess with the space-time-continuum (even though, I might have mentioned it earlier, but they've probably already fucked it halfway to hell by stopping that plague in the last season, and Brainy's decision to stay as a direct result of having changed the timeline... But whatever.) However, she asks the floating robot thing for information on her species, in which she learns that she can astral project and use this kind of dream energy like a physical weapon, so she doesn't have to just rely on predictions. (Brainy isn't pleased with her going behind his back, but she's like “suck it.”)

Meanwhile, Manchester is broken out of jail by a friend of his nicknamed “Hat”, because he has a 5-th dimension hat that he uses to pull things out of. He can also sort of teleport. They break the lady from the previous episode out, Menagerie, and the three of them go around and terrorize the city.

Supergirl tries to tell Baker, but he begins to show more and more of his position as far as all of this goes... and he is not on Supergirl's side. This is made even worse when she has to knock a satellite out of orbit... one that he specifically told her not to fucking touch earlier. As a final “fuck you” to Supergirl, he makes Ben Lockwood director of alien affairs. Ugh.

Hat also steals Brainy's legion ring, which gives him super powers. He can still use his predictive analysis, so he's not hopeless, but he feels so lost without it.

E14

With Manchester, Hat, and one of those invisible aliens from earlier in the season on the loose, they're desperate to catch them, but they've seemingly vanished. Kara compares them to being like a second Agents of Liberty group. They end up at the Fortress of Solitude, where they only have access to because the plot dictates that they do. (The “key” is this like 1 billion pound hunk of metal, the likes of which only somebody with super-strength could handle.) There, they find info about the Kryptons, but also some of the fortress's secrets... But when the heroes are alerted about the break-in, Manchester runs into a room that contains a “sun eater” and seemingly dies. However, J'onn isn't convinced about this, because he feels like they have a connection, and he would know if Manchester was killed. (He's later proved right, and that Hat saved him.)

Meanwhile, Alex is asked to head up Ben Lockwood's security detail. She's obviously disgusted by the entire thing, and complains about it the entire time, but she does her job. He's moving to repeal the alien amnesty act, which a lot of people think is rather unconstitutional, but he's going to try, dammit. He makes some public speech about the entire thing, and invites everybody to a public rally the next day.

But, our alien friends aren't without their own plans. Brainy has been stirring the pot on his own, and has used his powers of technology to organize a peaceful alien march through the streets at the same time as Ben's rally, but he makes sure that none of this can be traced back to him. He tries to ask Kara and Nia to join him at the march... but not as Supergirl and Dreamer, but as aliens who live on earth peacefully. They at first refuse, thinking that they'll just be security, but Kara eventually understands where Brainy was coming from. She changes into her Krypton clothes, and stands at the front of the parade with Brainy and Nia as Kara Zor-El; it's an insanely powerful moment.

However, at the hall where Ben's rally was taking place... IT'S A TRAP. Agents of Liberty start attacking everybody, and then Manchester and Hat show up and it's just a clusterfuck. The entire time, James stands there and takes photos of the events, of which he obviously later publishes. Later, a lot people look at them and say that seeing humans helping injured aliens really changed their opinion about the entire thing.

At the very end of the episode, as James is leaving the office, he gets shot in the back.

E15

And now, we're finally getting into the real meat of this season: Lex Luthor. (And I'm still having a hard time getting over the fact that out of all of the actors in the world, they picked Jon Cryer to play him. Why.) Four years earlier, he did something to the sun to try and stop Superman, but it's what had him arrested in the first place (and put Lena down the path of being better than Lex.)

Somebody pushed the “call Superman” button on James's watch, and Kara found him before he could bleed out. At the hospital, things don't look good. His sister, Kelly, shows up, and Alex talks her into approving the untested super-serum that Lena's been working on in order to help cure him.

Lena, meanwhile, is beyond herself with grief... she still cares deeply about James, and will do anything to help save him, including pushing herself to perfect the serum so that she can save James. They end up dosing him with some of it. But she doesn't do it alone; she has the help of her brother. He's also sick with cancer, which is probably one of the only reasons why they would even let him from the prison at all... because he's seemingly too sick to move much without the help of something. But, as you might have figured out, Lex used Lena's research to cure himself, and he betrayed her in order to escape. Oh, and Lena's assistant, Eve? Totally been working for Lex this entire time. Because of course.

Also, while Brainy and Nia are waiting around the hospital, Nia goes to Brainy. He's upset about a lot of things... how he's stuck in the 21st century, his own troubled past (which is never really delved into this season, unfortunately), his missing ring, the Agents of Liberty, Manchester and Hat, and now James... but he's taking it out on a vending machine that won't give him his snack. But in the middle of his panic attack, Nia kisses him. He later tells her that they can never be together because she's too important in the 21st century, and he's supposed to be in the 31st century. Nia is understandably heartbroken over the entire thing... but not deterred too much. We'll get back to this later.

Meanwhile, J'onn managed to track down Manchester again after Manchester steals this Martian staff thing and defiles the grave of J'onn's father. So, J'onn goes to confront him, and ends up destroying Manchester in the process. Although to be fair, there wasn't exactly much of a person left after Fiona died.

E16

With the junk that Lex took in the previous episode, he goes up against Supergirl... and seemingly wins. After having been defeated, Kara goes to tell Alex and still hospital-ridden James about Lex's escape... and I hope that I don't have to tell you that this is probably the worst news ever.

Meanwhile, most of this episode is a flashback. At his trial, three years earlier, Lex tried to murder the judge and prosicuitors... which probably only just makes him look even guiltier, but hey, nothing quite like first degree murder to... eco-terrorism??? IDK what you would even call something like that. It was outside the courthouse where he first met Eve, a Lex Luthor fangirl who would do anything for him. He told her to go work for CatCo, and then she eventually suggested that she should become Lena's assistant. However, even in prison, Lex quickly had everything under control by bribing all of the officers and such, so he was literally free to come and go as he pleased.

Meanwhile, nine months from the present, a Supergirl clone shows up in the fictional country of Kaznia. (A Russia knock-off, I guess?) She was created when Kara came into contact with the Haranel from the end of the last season. The Kaznian government is friendly with Lex, so they call him up to come and help them. Which he does, by molding “Red Daughter” into a weapon to not only take down the actual Supergirl, but to help him rule the world. Most of the episode shows parallels between all of the other stuff that was happening and Red Daughter's reaction to what was going on.

Lex takes Red Daughter to the United States and puts her to work as a hotel bar waitress so that he can show her what kind of pigs that Americans are. He also makes her think that a child that she once saved and became friendly with was killed by American missiles so that she would do whatever he asked. She's completely and utterly brainwashed by him.

Oh, and in case you couldn't figure it out... but Lex willingly walked into a chamber knowing full-well that it would give him cancer. This was all a part of his long con.

E17

James is released from the hospital, having been magically cured by whatever was in what Lena gave him. However, he's already starting to display symptoms in the form of various powers. We'll get back to this in later episodes. Later, Kelly visits him at work, and can't help but notice that all of the screens are off behind him... because he's too afraid to have to even look at or think about Lex. She encourages him to go see a trauma therapist to work through everything that's ever happened to him (not just being shot, but just... in general, you know). He refuses.

Kara also finds out that everybody but the DEO, aka probably the most capable team to handle Lex, is looking for Lex. But Hailey agrees with Supergirl that finding Lex is a priority right now, and agrees to handle things on her end while Alex goes with Supergirl to help with that. They track down some of Eve's last movements, and find out that she went to cure her cousin from cancer with Lena's serum... talk about doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. They go to Eve's lab at some university, where a man with half of his appendages replaced with robotic parts and a kryptonite heart attacks them. But this leads them to another huge clue: they found the gun that was used to shoot James in her office. Later, Lena manages to flip their mother by convincing her that Lex was planning to kill her, not rescue her from jail. Oops.

Then, while everybody's gathered in the Oval Office for the repeal of the alien amnesty act, Red Daughter, dressed as Supergirl, attacks. Where's Kara during all of this? Fighting off a krypton supersuit chucked at her by Eve. So now the entire world thinks that Supergirl's ebul. However, a lot of people who have worked alongside Kara/Supergirl figure that something's not quite right with this. But, the event does do some good, because it convinced James (who was in the Oval Office) that he really did need help when he froze during the attack; he goes to Kelly to get that recommendation.

Meanwhile, J'onn goes on a sort of vision quest. See, at the end of the last season, after his father passed away, he took a vow of peace, which he has since broken when he murdered Manchester. He feels like his powers are failing him through his inability to move past killing Manchester. His vision comes to him in the form of J'onn's father, however, like a lot of things of this type, this is a lot of self-reflecting and coming to realizations that were already known, just mostly unspoken. In the end, J'onn agrees (with himself), that he needs to be Martian Manhunter, not a man of peace, so he's going to take his father's staff back to the place where it was found centuries earlier on Mars, in the hopes that somebody else “acceptable” will come along to get it at a later time.

E18

As the end result of the attack at the end of the previous episode, people are afraid of Supergirl now. She complains about all of this to Lena and Alex (neither of whom know that she is Kara right now). In the end, Lena and Supergirl agree to go search Lex's cell at the prison. As they walk down to it, all of the male inmates start screaming at Kara about how she's where she belongs now. Kara tries to question the guy in the cell next to Lex's, but he refuses to talk to Supergirl. (And dear lord, can you imagine what kind of shit that these people got into to be in a cell block with Lex Luthor?)

Later, Otis shows up with a Kryptonite heart of his own, like the random dude from an episode or two earlier. Lena gives Kara a Kryptonite shield to go fight him. However, as she's running around, she realizes that she'd probably be better off in the middle of the riot with all of the inmates looking for Supergirl... as Kara, the reporter. The same inmate that Kara had previously tried to talk to is happy to see her, and gets excited, because he likes her articles (especially the spotlights on alien citizens).

While the prison riot's going on, Lena discovers a hidden chamber behind Lex's cell. There, they find evidence of the stuff that Lex has been up to, but only just puzzle pieces and no big picture just yet. Just then, Otis comes in, and Lex remotely detonates his Kryptonite heart, which kills him (temporarily). Kara flies Lena out of there before the bomb goes off. After, Kara realizes that going to the prison as Supergirl made things worse, so she decides that she needs to forget about Supergirl and focus on Kara. So she goes to the prison to do an interview with the prisoner that she'd talked to earlier... as Kara.

Meanwhile, Ben goes to the DEO to get all of their alien technology. However, even Hailey's like “Bitch, nobody fucking likes you, asshole.” and she insists that he comes back with a warrant or whatever.

This leads Alex to tell Brainy that the alien registry kept at the DEO isn't safe, so he breaks in with the intent to delete it. However, he's left with a dilemma over if he should or not... one which is a 50/50 chance. He goes to Nia to ask her to see into the future. She tricks him by playing the “if you react this badly towards the advice, then it's clear that you should do the other”, and tells him not to delete the data... which completely and utterly works. (Unlike Brainy, Nia sees things more from an emotional standpoint, so she's like “morally, we should delete it to keep people safe”.) However, Nia has a vision later of Ben storming into the DEO and arresting Brainy, which she warns him about. He said that he'd already deleted the data off of the DEO servers, but he says that he's keeping a copy on his own “hard drive”. (Must be handy to have a computer for a brain!)

Later, Alex meets with Kelly and Kelly offers Alex advice on how to get to Hailey so that Hailey won't call Supergirl for Ben. Kelly tells her own story of how she used her commanding officer's weakness against him in order to get him to do what Kelly wanted. Alex tries this to get Hailey onto her side, but it kind of backfires. However, when Ben comes for the info and for Supergirl, Hailey presses the signal watch twice, so she never shows up.

James also goes to his first therapy session, where the doctor teaches him a grounding technique for the next time he has a panic attack. However later, James and Kelly are starting to realize that the panic attacks seem to be half of the problem... and some of it has to do with the junk Lena gave him.

E19

With Supergirl lying low for a while until all of this is cleared up, Nia takes to the streets to help bring down some petty criminals and to stop the Agents of Liberty from further terrorizing aliens. However, Brainy is worried about her... which he tries to mask by stating that they're all at risk because they're aliens. But she quickly finds out that, no matter how many Agents of Liberty she takes down, no matter how many aliens she helps... nobody feels fully safe anymore.

This leads into Ben's son, George. He's been sort of shadowing his dad, and shadowing the other Agents of Liberty on his dad's orders throughout the entire season. And he's been kind of reluctant but just goes along with whatever his dad asks of him. But during a raid that Dreamer stopped, he discovers that one of his best friends was an alien, and I think that this was the kind of wake-up call that George needed to understand how messed-up that his dad's actions are.

Lena, Alex, Kelly and Brainy are trying to unwrap everything that's happening to James after he was dosed with Lena's power juice. They're trying to pull the juice from him, but not with a lot of success. While Lena works on the science side, Brainy goes into his mind in order to work on the psychological, since James's powers seemed to be linked to his panic attacks. In there, they uncover some deeply hidden truths about James... things he himself had been lying about the entire time. They all though that Lex was behind the panic attacks, but it goes deeper and a lot older than that: to the day of his father's funeral. Kelly herself has a lot of bad memories from the day... because not only was her dad dead, but her big brother didn't even come to the funeral. James said that he got locked into the bathroom of a restaurant across the street, but as the episode progresses, they uncover that bullies shoved James into a coffin in the basement of the mortuary, and locked him in there. (Why he'd lie about something like that is beyond me, but here we are.) In the end, they need to get Kelly into James's memory in order to help him out.

Meanwhile, Kara is working the journalist angle hard, trying to track down evidence and proof of what Lex has been up to. She ends up meeting with one of her alien co-worker's sister who works at the shell company controlled by Lex. She wants to help Kara expose all of this, but she's afraid for her own safety... even more so when they're almost discovered when they're snooping through the company's paper files.

Following this, as well as Nia's failure to make aliens feel safer, the two girls complain to one another about how they feel like they're not going anywhere. Kara has a brilliant idea that rather than doing a spotlight on literally all of the aliens on Earth, she just needs to interview one alien: Dreamer. With the help of their alien co-worker, they set up a live broadcast, and Kara interviews Nia as Dreamer. She talks about how she's just a regular person, how she was born on earth and her status as a half alien. Ben is furious about the entire thing. But when Brainy hears about how Nia loves “nerdy boys who think too much”, he suddenly realizes that he's in love with Nia, and asks Lena (who happened to be in the room with him when they were watching the broadcast), “how do you know when you're in love.” I LOVE THIS SHIP. But it inspires everybody else that they have to fight... including the co-worker's sister who wanted to be a whistle blower. She later gives Kara the info she'd been looking for.

Following the end of the broadcast, Ben and his Agents of Liberty show up at Cat Co. However, thanks to the fact that there's two super heroes, plus Brainy showing up (Alex couldn't go without being court martialed), they got this. James shows up at the last minute and does that awesome “stares down a gun before he literally bends it with super strength” and he's like “Get the fuck out of my building.”

Lena later goes to CatCo, where she and Kara look at Kara's “reporter wall”, where she'd taped up all of the clues and written stuff. Lena is able to decode one thing: Kaznia.

Finally, Ben comes home to find that his wife was murdered by the wife of an alien that he'd arrested. Which... ain't karma a bitch, Benny boy?

E20

Since the end of the previous season, Alex has been trying to adopt a baby. While she's going for a jog with Kelly one morning, she gets a call from the adoption agency that there's a teenage mother who's shortlisted Alex... and she's in labor. Alex and Kelly go to a hotel not too far from the hospital in the town where the teen mother is delivering as they wait for news. However, by the time that things are all said and done, the girl's parents convinced her not to give her baby up, which leads to an upset and disappointed Alex. Later, Kelly tells Alex that she was also once engaged to her CO, another woman. Not only were they in the military, where those relationships are a big no-no, but they were also lesbians, which is also still widely frowned upon. But then the CO died. Kelly goes on to talk about how things like your fiancee dying or leaving you is a deep wound, as is being rejected for an adoption. But you will survive, and you will get past this.

Brainy and Nia also help James train his powers.

Meanwhile, Lena and Kara take Lena's private jet to Kaznia. Kara kept trying to convince Lena that she should go alone, but Lena was insistant. As they fly in, some “mysterious” purple lightning hits the plane, and it's only because of Kara being there that they don't crash into a mountain. Oops. They find a base that looks like it was only recently evacuated, but also some stolen files from the DEO desert holding facility. And also Eve locked in a broom closet. They also uncover information about Red Daughter. As they look around, Eve acts... bizarre. And stupid. Like way stupider than normal. They quickly realize that she was given the super power serum that's been dosed up with the DNA of an alien so she can make endless copies of herself, but every copy makes her stupider and stupider. As they're running around, Kara comes across Red Daughter's cell, which kind of makes her look like a creepy stalker for Kara. Also, in case I never mentioned this, but Lex knows who Supergirl actually is, and in turn, he obviously told Red Daughter. So there's pictures of both Kara and Supergirl side by side. Kara ends up destroying the things in the room in order to hide her identity from Lena. After, as they're returning home, Kara is about to tell Lena that she's Supergirl, but then Lena kind of breaks down over everything that's happened. So many people have betrayed her, and Kara feels like now isn't a good time to drop this bombshell onto Lena.

She tells James about how she feels so sorry for Red Daughter, because it could have been her if she'd landed somewhere else. Then she takes the info she has on Lex to President Baker... only for him to laugh in her face and then somebody grabs her. Oh bother.

Back closer to home, Ben pushes his son further away by not even bothering to show up to his wife's funeral. He knows that James has powers, and that Lena was working on stuff. He breaks into her lab there and takes some of the unstable serum from before she'd perfected it to save James. Brainy tries to tell him that it's unstable and there's an insanely high risk of death if he takes it... but I think that it goes without saying at this point that you could tell Ben not to jump off the Empire State Building, and he'd do it anyway. Ben then goes out and tries to get the FBI to arrest both James and Dreamer, but Brainy reminds the other agents that they all swore an oath to protect people, not cause others greater harm. They take his side, but Ben then takes the serum and goes on a rampage. J'onn finally gets back from his trip to Mars just in time to stop him... for now.

Later, Ben goes to the church where the memorial for his wife had been, and George finally drops some truth bombs: on his quest for revenge against what originally started as a series of unlucky events, Ben is the reason why the wife is now dead. And then he walks out on Ben... because fuck his racist noise.

E21

When J'onn wiped Alex's memory, he had to go in and erase a lot of little things, like just... hanging out with her super-powered sister. This left a lot of memory gaps that needed to be filled in, which her mind did. As such, Kara wouldn't be able to re-reveal herself as Supergirl to Alex unless Alex figured it out on her own. To do so would basically break Alex too much. However, following the rejection of the adoption in the previous episode, Alex starts to, what Kelly says, dwell on her adoptive sister.

Meanwhile, Kara was kidnapped by some thugs of Lex's. She's like “UGH” and quickly takes them out, but as she goes to the door, there's Red Daughter with a hunk of Kryptonite. Red Daughter is supposed to kill her, but the problem is that the Kryptonite makes both of them sick... and Kara's had a couple of decades to get used to Kryptonite. Red Daughter's only been alive for a few months. Kara manages to jump out the window and escape. Later, Kara manages to locate Red Daughter's apartment in the city, and realizes that Red Daughter has become rather obsessed with Kara. Alex shows up, despite Supergirl having told her to remain at the DEO, and then gets a weird call from Eliza. Kara rushes to Eliza's house, only to find Red Daughter there. There's a fight, and Red Daughter has some of that mysterious purple lightning powers, which when it hits Kara, causes day to turn into night.

Supergirl ends up having her heart stopped by Red Daughter, and Alex drives up just as this happens. As she cries over Supergirl's prone body, she suddenly remembers everything. Then, the grass and plants around them randomly give up their sunlight in order to save Kara... Yeah. I'm just going with it at this point. So Kara's still alive, and now Alex remembers everything.

Lena gets a “truthseeker” alien to use her mother to help her create the cure for the super serum... and the threat of having been poisoned works wonders, too. And she really pulls through. Amazing what gets you results.

Meanwhile, all of the pieces are finally starting to fall together. Who's controlling literally everything bad this season? Lex. Lena and James go to talk to Ben about how he's been working with Lex. Ben is... in a bad way. He needs to keep taking the serum, or else it seems like he's starting down the path to an early grave. However, Lena is quick to find out that Ben had no idea... but they're pleased to realize that Ben wants answers about Lex's involvement as much as anybody else. Especially if he himself is the one being played behind the scenes, when he thought that he was the big man in charge around here. He goes to Otis, who was the one who suggested Ben to Lex back in the Red Daughter flashback episode, so he knows way more than anybody could have predicted. James gets into a fight with Ben, which ends up with James becoming unstable. Lena takes him back to her mom, but even though they have the reverse serum, but with the upcoming battle ahead of them, they give him more of the super serum to temporarily stabilize him.

J'onn, Nia, and Brainy go to track down where the Agents of Liberty/Lex have been taking all of the aliens that they're supposedly taking to detention facilities. When they get there, Nia proposes a “Wookie Gambit”, where J'onn shape-shifts into a guard and allows them to be safely captured. However, when J'onn goes off to find a better plan, Nia sees this little girl that she'd seen in a vision, and asks Brainy to shift into Ben (via his image inducer) so that she can be the captured one. But the play goes awry, and they both end up captured. (J'onn watching being like “THOSE FUCKWITS.”) Strapped to a chair, Brainy is tortured by Agents of Liberty until he snaps and some of his ancestral “coding” from his evil ancestors breaks free. He goes kind of berserk and takes out the men holding him, before meeting up with J'onn. He tells Nia in her cage that she needs to be taken to where ever they're transporting the aliens to, and then she can use her powers to communicate with them where they're being held. He also tells J'onn that him being there will double the plan's chances of success. He's acting cold and unemotional, but it's a stressful situation, so neither of them notice much.

And finally, Lex plays his hand: Kaznia started to attack the US with everything that they had (which wasn't much; they're a tiny country and seemingly very poor). And they had the “rogue” Supergirl with them... but then here comes Lex to save the day! Yay, he's a hero!! /UGH

E22

In case you'd been wondering what Lex has been doing with those aliens, and where he's been getting the powers that all of his goons (like Eve) were coming from... he's created a chamber that sucks??? Energy, I guess? From the alien, and puts it into whoever Lex wants.

Then, we show the actual Kaznian invasion, which we missed during the Kara/Red Daughter fight earlier. Lex showed up to save the day and look dapper... because priorities. The Kaznian officers were upset over the entire thing, as is Red Daughter. She finally starts to see Lex for everything that Kara had tried to tell her that he was: a monster who only looks out for number one (himself). So the fight between them was pretty real, but Lex had the upper hand because he knew exactly what he was going to do before it even got started, and came ready to take her on.

Meanwhile, J'onn and Nia are taken somewhere, where they're basically turned into slave labor. J'onn easily figures out that they're on Shelly island with the power dampeners, so they take out some of the guards and turn the things off. Nia then astralprojects to Brainy (in Lena's office, waiting Kara and Alex). They're all upset when Brainy tells them of the plan; he doesn't understand because he still has his ancestral coding turned on, and he doesn't understand things like empathy. He knows that Nia can't communicate while astralprojecting, so he breathes on the window to create some fog, and she scribbles most of “Shelly island” before time runs out on her end... but it's enough.

Meanwhile, Lena is invited to Le Luther Family Reunion at the Oval Office, because of course he's fucking taken everything over. Now that he's got what he wants, he doesn't need Puppet Baker in office anymore. However, not even Lilian is going to deal with Lex's bullshit at this point. However, with Brainy's help, Kara is able to recover the files that Baker had supposedly wiped from the CatCo servers, and she publishes the paper and exposes Lex for the lying liar who lies. Everybody reads it, and... honestly, that must be a lot of damning evidence in that article, because EVERYBODY instantly starts to believe it. (Either that, or people remember all of the other awful shit that Lex has done in the past, and they're like “yeah, him doing this sounds about right.”)

Kara, Alex, James, and Brainy go to Shelly Island, where they're greeted by Ben and his Agents of Liberty. Brainy goes inside to turn off the power-sucking coffins that are powering a super weapon pointed at that Krypton planet chunk that's floating out there (speaking of which, it's where Superman has been this entire season, in case you were wondering). This leaves the others free to stick the anti power serum into Ben... which he is in dire need of at this point. But Brainy can't turn the weapon off, and it's set to go off soon. But J'onn won't give up so easily, and tries to use his psychic powers to overload the machine. Nia starts to use her own powers as well... and it's when Brainy sees Nia in such immense danger and pain, that it snaps something inside of Brainy and he reverts back to normal. He screams at her that he loves her. But it did the trick, and the aliens are free... including Red Daughter.

Kara goes off to fight Lex, who came down to try and stop them. But he's already defeated one Supergirl, so he almost had the advantage over her... But he wasn't counting on Red Daughter's rage. She takes a blast meant for Kara, and dies as Kara cradles her. She tells Kara that Kara had been right the entire time, and to protect everybody. She then dissolves into purple mist and is reabsorbed into Kara's body. With these new weird powers, Kara is able to better go toe-to-toe with Lex... which she does until he flies off. She gives chase, but he'd rather fall to his death than to be helped by her. But when he lands, he vanishes, so... no good.

Lex reappears in one of his labs, but Lena easily finds him. She puts some bullets into him, because fuck you. Before he dies, he shows Lena a bunch of footage of Kara being Supergirl.

In the aftermath, Baker was arrested for all of this bullshit, and Hailey is the most superior person, so she's in charge for the time being. She also makes a very public apology (that Kara watches on TV at CatCo) to Supergirl for all of this bullshit.

Alex and Kelly finally hook up, although their first kiss is awkwardly interrupted by Brainy and Nia walking past on their own first date.

Later, Lena shows up at J'onn's place for game night. She's quiet, but she doesn't say anything about now knowing that Supergirl is her BFF Kara. Instead, she eagerly joins Kara's team for “switched up teams games”. However, Lena later destroys a picture frame of her and Kara, so she's clearly not as okay with it as originally thought.

Meanwhile, George Lockwood has swung radically in the opposite direction of his father, and wants to help aliens in need. Ben watches bitterly from prison.

And then, because we need some teasers for season 5... Eve is apparently being controlled by some mysterious forces that isn't Lex. It's honestly a bit weird, and I don't know what to make of it.

Finally, another Martian comes and vows revenge on J'onn. Some guy who was talking to this Martian goes to where Lex was murdered and I'm pretty sure that he brings Lex back from the dead.

#supergirl #The Ravenclaw mod

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the-panda-writes · 5 years

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Chapter 4

Pairing: Steve Rogers x [TW/R/2]

Summary: You and Steve go to the Hydra base to rescue your family.

Description of the twins true forms:

[TW/R/1], in her true form, has pure black skin. Her eyes, lips and hair turn white. Her skin is also dotted with white, somewhat similar to stars.

[TW/R/2], in her true form, has pure white skin. Her eyes, lips and hair turn black. Her skin is also dotted with black, somewhat similar to stars.

Warnings: Some mild angst

A/N: Here’s Chapter 4!! Enjoy!!

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

(found on Pinterest)

We then hear a car horn from behind us. Looking, we see a group of soldiers being carried to the medical ward of the camp.

“They look like they’ve been through hell.” Steve says, stating the obvious.

“These men more than most.” I say to him, my face contorting in sadness.

Peggy then explains that Schmidt sent our a force to Azzano, telling him that 200 men went up against him and less than 50 returned; most killed or captured.

“The audience for your performance contained what was left of the 107th.” I tell him.

As soon as those words left my lips, Steve’s face goes from sad to worried.

“The 107th?!?” Steve asks us, his voice laced in fear and worry.

After we both nod yes, he runs into the rain, going to search for answers that could only come from one man.

“Colonel Phillips.”

"Well, if it isn't the star-spangled man with a plan. What's your plan today?" Phillips teases Steve, but he demands to see the casualty list from Azzano. "You don't get to give me orders, son."

"I just need one name, Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th." Steve pleads.

"You ladies and I are gonna have a conversation that ya'll won't enjoy." Phillips states, pointing at the both of us.

"Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R.."

"I can spell." Phillips cuts him off, then tells him that he does recognize the name due to signing so many condolence letters.

Phillips gives his condolences and Steve's face just falls into sadness. Peggy and I just look to him, but I'm on the verge of tears because [TW/R/1] was one of the letters Phillips signed as well.

Steve then goes to ask about the others, if they planned a rescue mission.

"I've already asked that Steve." I say to him.

"And I'll tell you as I told her, they're thirty miles behind enemy lines, through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men then we'd save. But I don't expect you to understand because you're a chorus girl." Phillips says to him, Steve just staring him down as well.

"I think I understand just fine." Steve tells Phillips with a hardened tone.

"Well, then understand it somewhere else." Phillips tells Steve, walking past him. "If I read the posters correctly, you've got someplace to be in thirty minutes."

Steve then looks at the map and somehow, I see the wheals in his head turning. "Yes sir. I do."

With that, he turns to leave. I am not missing this. I will save my sister if it means it will kill me.

I rush to get ready and by the time I'm done, I see Peggy and Steve by an Army vehicle. Steve catches me coming towards them as he loads the vehicle.

"You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?" Steve asks us both.

"Every word." We say at the same time.

"Then you gotta let me go."

"I'm coming with you!" I tell him as he goes into the vehicle.

"I'm going alone! I don't want anyone else to get in trouble or hurt because of me." Steve argues.

"You're not the only one that has someone you care about over there!" I yell at him, my eyes going black.

Steve just looks at me in shock as I reveal my true form. "I can take care of myself as well."

Steve still looks at me in awe, but is broken by Peggy by saying that she'll help us as well, but has to call a friend.

Hours later, Howard Stark is flying us above Azzano. Peggy is showing Steve where the Hydra camp is while I prepare myself for a fight.

"We should be able to drop you guys right on the doorstep." Stark tells us both as I finish up.

"Just get us both as close as you can." Steve responds back as I sit next to him.

"You know you two are going to be in a lot of trouble when you land." I say to Peggy with a sympathetic smile.

"And you won't?"

"Well, where we're goin, if anybody yells at me, I can just shoot 'em." Steve jokes, making me roll my eyes.

"They will undoubtedly shoot back." I say sarcastically.

"Well, lets hope it's good for something." Steve says as he taps his shield prop.

Stark then speaks up about stopping at Lucerne for some fondue, which makes things now awkward.

"Stark is the best civilian pilot I've ever see. He's mad enough to brave this expedition, we're lucky to have him." Peggy says, trying to change the subject.

"So do you..." Steve asks, pointing to her and Stark. "Fondue?"

At that, I just spurt out and laugh.

"What?" Steve asks, embarrassed.

"You have so much to to learn." I tell him.

When Peggy gives Steve a transponder and him asking if it works, we are then attacked by aerial fire, making Stark take countermeasures.

Steve and I both get up, Steve opening the door-hatch of the plane.

"Get back here!! We're taking you both all the way in!"

"No time Peggy!!" I yell to her.

"As soon as we're clear, you turn this thing around and get the hell outta here!!" Steve orders Peggy.

"You can't give me orders!"

"The hell I can't. I'm a Captain!" Steve says, smiling and he jumps out of the plane.

I roll my eyes, give Peggy a quick hug, telling her that I'll keep him safe.

Then I jump, landing next to Steve on the ground.

"Lets go." I tell him, leading the way.

After jumping onto a cargo truck, Steve and I are seen by two Hydra soldiers.

"Fellas." Steve says before knocking them out and throwing them out the back of the truck.

Inside the factory, Hydra soldiers are leading prisoners into their cells, one pushing and hitting one prisoners hat off his head. The prisoner goes to place it back atop his head and chests up to the soldier.

"Ya'know, Fritz. One of these days I'm gonna have a stick of my own." The man says to the soldier, but he's just amused by it as he closes the cell.

"Calm down Dugan. I don't wanna see you get thrown in isolation." One says to the one called Dugan.

"I know [L/N], but he's just askin' for it." Dugan tells them.

"They'll get whats coming to them. Just wait."

"You say that every night." An African man point out.

"I mean it, you'll see." [L/N] tells him. He just looks away and sighs, clinging onto that last bit of hope.

"The fact is, she's clinging on as well. [TW/R/1] is just praying that she'll see [TW/R/2] again.

As Steve and I reach the facility, Steve knocks a Hydra soldier, who was checking the truck, backwards. This allows us to be able to sneak through the courtyard and towards the main building. We hid behind tanks so we don't get spotted, running towards a building, hopping on one of the tanks and on the building. We then head towards the main facility.

Once inside, Steve was about to knock out a guard, allowing us to sneak onto the main floor where they make weapons and have them stored.

We both go by some sort of table where, what looks like power packs are sitting on.

I recognize this power, my true form showing as I go near them. Steve notices my reaction, taking the smallest pack he could carry and stuffs it in his pocket.

We then continue on until we reach what seems to be holding cells.

I knock the guard out, him falling atop one of the cells and the inmates take notice. I get the keys from the guard and toss them to Steve.

"What's a pretty dame like you doin here?" One catcalls as I look at them unamused.

"Saving your sorry buttocks." I tell them.

Steve comes up to me and looks under him.

"Who're you supposed to be?" The African male asks.

"I'm... Captain America." Steve responds, unsure what to say.

"I beg your pardon?" The Englishman asks as we head to the part of the cells that they're being held in.

Steve goes to unlock the cells, asking if they're are anybody else.

"I'm looking for a Sergeant James Barnes." Steve asks.

"And I'm looking for Lieutenant [TW/R/1] [L/N]." I plead to them.

But before they could say anything, I hear my name being called out. I look towards the voice, seeing someone trying to push through the crowd of soldiers.

"[TW/R/2]? [TW/R/2]!!" The voice, revealing itself as a female voice as she breaks through, revealing herself."

Steve and some of the soldiers are astounded, almost thinking that they're seeing double.

"[TW/R/1]!!" I call out, running to hug her, [TW/R/1] catching me in the hug as I cry on her shoulder.

"It's okay, sister. It's okay, I'm okay." She comforts me, petting my hair as I squeeze her body tightly in my arms, fearing that she may disappear if I do.

"Sorry to interrupt this reunion, but are you twins?" Steve asks.

"Yes." We say at the same time, leaving him bewildered.

"I'm Lieutenant [TW/R/1] [L/N]. You are?" [TW/R/1] asks, but is cut off by the Englishman.

"No time for introductions, love." He says as he turns to Steve, breaking his trance. "There's an isolation ward in the factory, but no one's ever come back from it."

"Alright." Steve says as he begins to go. "The treeline is Northwest, eighty yards past the gate. Get out fast and give 'em hell." He then turns to me and [TW/R/1] "I need you to protect them in any way you can. I'll meet you guys in the front of the clearing with anybody else I find."

"Wait." The African male calls out to him. "You know what you're doing?"

"Yea. I've knocked out Adolf Hitler over two hundred times." Steve tells him, making me roll my eyes.

As Steve leaves to find his friend, the others turn to me and my sister. "How are you ladies goin' to protect us?" the man in the mustache asks sarcastically.

[TW/R/1] and I just look at each other and smile, revealing our true forms to the soldiers. "We'll do our best." we say at the same time. We then just start running towards the exit, the others following behind as we bust open the doors and began to attack.

Tagging: @a-nerds-clipboard @a-stumpsexuals-world (Add yourself if you want to be tagged!!)

#my writing #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction writer #fanfiction writing #fanfiction writers #writers on tumblr #captain america: the first avenger #captain america #peggy carter #howard stark #the legend of yin and yang

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lycanguts · 6 years

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CALLOUT POST FOR A PAST ABUSER/MANIPULATOR

So this is definitely not my usual type of content, I don’t like causing unnecessary drama but this is inexcusable. It's probably weird seeing this in a fandom tag but these are his main interests and if it could be boosted in this communities it might save some people.

Tumblr user @yucee is a terrible person both in how he acts and how he treats other people, he’s manipulative, quick to deflect blame and never takes responsibility for his actions. As if that wasn’t bad enough he's also a pedophile.

This post will not only contain my testimonial but the testimonials of two others who also met him.

This one is a doozy but I recommend reading it, I want as many people as possible to see his true nature (especially anyone >22 years old).

I would like make it known that he loves to play the victim in any scenario regardless of whose fault it actually is (most of the time it’s his however, he has a real hard time accepting blame for anything).

While my trauma is not as severe as others who have come in contact with him he ruined what was supposed to be a fun weekend with my friends as well as our first meeting which should’ve been something amazing.

Unfortunately I deleted our conversations on Discord as I didn’t think when I did I would be making this type of post, thankfully his tumblr messenger is still open to me as well as a few text messages post-meetup. Most things that revealed his true nature were said during voice chat so most of these messages are only a small glimpse at what an awful person he is.

My Testimonial:

Hello my name is Anthony, I'm 22 years old and I had met yucee three years back when we had a mutual friend. While we didn’t have much in common he seemed like a nice enough guy and someone I’d like to befriend. We had similar tastes in pokemon as well as similar music tastes, and while we had known each other for three years we hadn’t really talked consistently until mid 2017. It was around the latter half of this year that I had developed feelings for him and after a few weeks of hesitation I asked him out and was excited when he said “yes”. Had third been months ago I’d say our relationship was a good one, he accepted me for who I was and I was just happy to find another trans guy with no interest in anything sexual.

However looking back now I realize not only was Yucee extremely self centered but he made sure to link me to his “coping” fic every other day expecting me to read he one sentence he had added while when I would send him my art it was a 50/50 chance I would ever receive good feedback if any at all (his comments were either “cute” or “gay”, sometimes he would just ignore it altogether).

Did I mention he also invited himself to the convention I attended this summer? Around mid March I had planned on asking him as I was going to test the waters and see if by describing my con experiences it would be something he would be interested in attending possibly next year, however as soon as I brought up I was going to a convention he chirped in with “I want to go too!”. He was excited, I was too, and we soon began to make plans to meet each other. During this time let me point out how he would say things like “are we going to be around your friends the entire convention?” and “since you always get to see your friends can I have you to myself?” And “next year, if you still like me then, I want to go to MTAC, just you and me I don’t want your friends there.” And other things of this nature. At first I thought he was just joking around but it became evident to me after the fact that he was becoming extremely possessive of me to the point he was already picking out what costume I would wear for MTAC. Not only this but when he learned me and my friends had already planned a cosplay group he became upset because we were dating so we should’ve had matching costumes. Again this was mid March and the convention was early in early June, I had been working on what costumes I had since December. He was dead set on cosplaying persona characters and while I liked persona I didn’t think I’d have enough time to throw a costume together. Eventually he seemed pleased enough I’d be cosplaying Akira Fudo while he cosplayed Akira from persona, but he still complained that me and my friend were acting more like a couple than he and I were because I had a matching cosplay with her, “we’re boyfriends we should be matching he’d say”. Again, my friends plan our convention going experience well in advance, Yucee had pushed himself into our plans and was upset that nothing was going his way 100%, and that reflected in his behavior at the convention (we’ll get to that shitshow soon enough).

So it’s planning time, we have a few months, I tell him what kinds of things he can buy in the vendor hall and he starts buying his costumes and he estimates he’ll be able to save at least $800 of his SSI checks up to the point, but him being the impulsive man he is he had barely $300. He didn’t even buy his own ticket, he had spent all of his check from May on even more akeshu prints and costume stuff so he didn’t have enough to pay for a preregistration ticket (these closed on may 31st), so I offered to buy his ticket if he paid me back when I came to get him.

When it came to the issue of how he was going to get to my home I of course offered to drive him as long as he helped with gas and such.

Many, many times I assured him I would come and get him, I even had my car worked on just so I could be confident it would make the trip, but every so often he would say things like “I shouldn’t even be planning this, none of my plans ever work out.”

Every time this came up I assured him that it wouldn’t be an issue, while I had never made a trip this long by myself before I was more than willing.

Whenever I picked him up he gave me $50 for gas when he should’ve given me $150 ($100 for gas there and back, $50 for the ticket). But if we wanna get technical he also owed me an extra $50 on top of this, money he said he’d pay me during the convention (he didn’t). I had bought him a pair of shoes for a costume he didn’t wear (because he was too busy wearing my Guzma shoes) and two face products he used twice but stopped using after it didn’t work fast enough for his liking.

The $50 he had given me however was money he had guilted his dad into giving him, his dad couldn’t meet me halfway because he had stomach issues and was worried he wouldn’t be able to make the trip, which I was fine with, but he had told me he would ask his dad for more money from his monthly check because it was “his [dad’s] fault” I would have to drive the whole way. Also when I first was introduced to his father he introduced me as his boyfriend when I had made it VERY clear that I wanted to be introduced as only a friend, so he outted me without even considering my feelings.

For most of the car ride back he complained constantly about the heat, I had warned him my A/C was on the fritz but he continuously brought t up ever few minutes that he was hot. It was a four hour car ride.

As for the convention itself I will condense it to bullets because there’s a LOT to dive into.

June 7th (Day Before Con)

-I had warned him that he would have to come to work with me when he stayed at my house, since he was unaccustomed to waking up early I offered to wake him twenty minutes before I left (8:00 AM). The moment he woke up he didn’t wish me a happy birthday, the first words out of his mouth were “what are we doing for breakfast?” When I offered him one of my protein bars he made he comment how that wouldn’t fill him up and how he needed something with sodium, he then proceeded to try to get me to cook him a can of soup. This was five minutes before I was supposed to leave to pick up my friend/coworker. I made him a peanut butter sandwich because peanut butter is filling and added a bit of salt because salty peanut butter is good. He didn’t even finish the sandwich, handed it back to me with two bites out of it and continued to complain about being hungry until lunch time.

-When my friend was talking about how shitty her parent was Yucee responded with “if that was my dad I would just stand up to him” without realizing that my friend’s parent is verbally and emotionally abusive to her, unlike his dad who I assume just doesn’t coddle him like his mom did. He would say often how his dad was a terrible person and then turn around and say he couldn't wait for his dad to get a settlement (which he intended to give Yucee a good part of). His dad is also accepting of him and supportive of him to the point he even is helping fund his T shots/top surgery. When I told him that my friend's parent was not his father he immediately fired back with "Oh well you can't compare suffering."

You're probably wondering why I referred to my friend's parent as her parent as opposed to her "mother", well about that...

This is in his about. We’ll get into this later.

-We’re short staffed at work, he offered to help. He refused to do litterboxes because of the smell, it took three times of asking him to sweep for me to eventually hand him the broom to sweep, he proceeded to wildly rock the broom back and fourth saying he didn’t know how to sweep, I then asked him to do dishes since he didn’t know how to sweep (he didn’t do the dishes).

-Asked me if he could wear my new pair of shoes because he didn’t have the foresight to pack a comfortable pair of shoes that weren’t for a costume ; whined when I said no because as I said these were my new shoes and a birthday present, continued to complain about how much his feet hurt in my old pair of work shoes I lent him.

-Did I mention he constantly stated that the government pays him to not know anything, and that was one of his many excuses on how he didn’t know how to do even simple tasks like sweep? Other excuses were “I didn’t know that” or “I’m autistic I can’t help it” or “I’ve never done this before.”

-Went into a frenzy when my friends went over a couple of aisles in a very small dollar store, “you guys were going to leave me!” he growled. We assured him we wouldn’t do that countless times after this, this would not be the first occurrence.

-we arrive at my Dad’s house where we would be staying for the convention. Yucee’s frantic squeaking of a toy he had caught the attention of my sister’s lab puppy, thinking Yucee wanted to play he grabbed the toy with his mouth earning a scream followed by a backhand from Yucee. He never apologized. While on the topic of animal abuse: Yucee is extremely neglectful of the three cats he owns. One is covered so badly in flea bites and scabs chunks of his fur are missing and the table on which they eat was covered in vomit and old food, plus they don’t have a litter box so they have to go outside to use the bathroom despite him living near a busy road. Yet he continuously says he wants more cats.

-Whined that his wig didn’t look -exactly- like the picture and proceeded to throw it on the ground, no one noticed him do this as we were busy with our own things. He came out after about a minute and shouted at us “Did no one see me throw my wig down?!” When my friend Seth apologized and pointed out we were all busy he verbally said “sigh”.

June 8th (Day 1 of the con)

-morning time, we’re all getting dressed in our cosplays, Yucee takes the longest despite having the simplest costume and demands that we show him how to apply makeup/put on a wig, after showing him a few times already the night before. he also asks us to do the tasks for him, including putting on his makeup and even partially dressing him (made someone put on his suspenders for him without him even trying beforehand) “I’ve never cosplayed before.” he would say. His outfit was a shirt, pants and a pair of suspenders, he wasn’t even wearing his wig.

-as for my birthday present from him: in the vendor hall he buys me three tiny buttons, $1 each, two buttons that have lgbt+ pride things on them, both of which I can’t wear in my daily life. He also buys me s hat that he didn’t ask if I wanted, especially since the only kind of hats I wear are baseball hats. You might think I’m just mad that I didn’t get presents I wanted, I’m usually the thought that counts type of guy, but he made it quite clear what he wanted for his birthday that was a month away while we were in the vendor hall, he kept making remarks how he wanted a commission done of his favorite persona character, he wanted multiple commissions, and he made it clear he wanted me to buy them. He still hasn’t wished me a happy birthday.

-me and my two friends have had a few pictures of us requested at this point , Yucee gets angry that no one recognizes his Ryuji cosplay and how no one had asked for a picture. Thirty minutes after this exchange someone asks for his picture, he declines saying he’s a “disgusting gross frog man”. Soon after he again complains about this issue.

-complained, constantly, every five minutes it was either asking me when we were going home or how there were no persona cosplayers (there were, plenty) or how he was so nasty and had to go home and shower/wash his clothes (he showered at least three times a day).

-pulled me away from activities with my friends because he wanted me to take him home to shower/wash his clothes (where we were staying was roughly 20 minutes from the convention center and it took him thirty minutes each time).

-straight up insulted cosplayers because they didn’t pick the outfit he liked for the character they were portraying or said he didn’t like the costume because they were acting “too straight”.

-got jealous because me and my friend were “acting more like a couple” than me and him were. My friend and I were Pipimi and Popuko from popteamepic, canonically they are girlfriends and the most my friend and I did was hold hands while skipping and playfully call each other “darling”. I didn’t want to hold hands with Yucee, I didn’t even want to touch him.

-reason I wouldn’t hold hands or even touch Yucee? He had broken many of my boundaries in a short span of time, while it was was wrong of me to not communicate this to him he still continued to push when I was visibly uncomfortable. A ten year friendship had lot less boundaries than a three year friendship/seven month relationship (that I had just met in person two days earlier). Yucee would constantly rub his hands over the back of my neck, he would constantly slap my arm and eventually did it in for me was when he snuck up behind me and angrily slammed his hand on my shoulder because me and my friends had “left” him. I nearly had a panic attack before I realized it was him. He never apologized.

-would go into a frenzy if my group travelled ahead without him, even if we were in sight and only a few feet away he would cry about how we were leaving him behind. Every time I assured him we wouldn’t leave him and he could call me should we get separated.

June 9th (Day 2 of the con)

-Morning routine similar to day one, complete with him still making someone else do his makeup for him

-Said “not all of us having living mothers” rather annoyingly when someone was complaining about their mom. This person didn’t know Yucee had “ptsd” and wasn’t even talking to him but rather to my friend. He sounded more annoyed than about to have a panic attack, he even said what was supposed to be his trigger word.

-Did have a “breakdown” however because we walked a few feet away from him, we were still in eyesight, he didn’t even attempt to keep up with us. Went to the nearest booth where he knew he’d get sympathy, a booth that he knew was run by someone’s MOTHER. Made the comment afterwards that he wished she would adopt him.

-Tried to guilt me should I be thinking about breaking up with him.

-Constantly says that he should’ve never of come and how he just wants to go home, even asks if I or my grandma can drive him home on day three.

So the convention dance party rolls around, which is basically just a clean rave, I’m hyped because this is the first time I’m actually going to break out of my comfort zone and attend it. Yucee wanted to go to as he said he had always wanted to see what a rave was like, the moment we step in he goes to sit in the corner by himself. I told him I’ll come check on him every few minutes, I left my phone with him to prove that would come back for him. A few minutes pass and I go to check on him, he says he’s going outside the door for a second to get some air, so I think nothing of it. I see that they’re selling light up face masks so I had to run to my car to get cash, a trip that’ll take me about ten minutes. I tell my friends where I’m going and that Yucee said he’d be right outside. Halfway on my trip back from the car I’m alerted that my friends can’t find Yucee. I start to panic and practically run back to where the dance party is, I meet up with my friends and we split up to look for him. It doesn’t take me long to find him because I look in the area where he said he was going: outside on the balcony. I look around and there’s a lot of people out there, none Yucee, but upon further inspection I see he’s all the way on the other end of the balcony where no one else is. I lose it because he didn’t tell anyone he was going over there, we all assumed outside on the balcony meant with the rest of the people taking a break, not wedged in a corner out of anyone’s sight line. That’s when I decide it’s time someone has a talking to with him. I ask my friend to tell him why what he did wasn’t okay while I go grab a cup of water, when I return to them my friend makes it clear it’s my turn to talk to him. That’s when I decide to break up with him, not because of his “break down” but because of his disregard of anyone else’s feelings that weekend. While I was considering it I was going to think it over after the convention and make my decision in the future, he twisted my arm for the last time though.

-Yucee blames my friend Boo for the reason we broke up despite me clarifying that it was 100% my decision

-Also blamed her for being the reason he had a breakdown, because she didn’t coddle him like everyone else. Didn't even bother to apologize for the two breakdowns he had caused her, when I brought it up he would always go through me to do it.

-so after I gave him my two cents I let him stew in a safe space while I tried to enjoy the remainder of the day with my friends (it was 12 am at this point and the con center closed at 1 am). We went to the game room (which I told him about) and not ten minutes go by he’s spamming me with texts and calls to tell me this is why he has “trust issues”.

-We get home and he goes immediately to bed without a word to any of us

June 10th (Final day of the con)

-Stayed in my dad’s basement all day by request, barely paid me half of the convention ticket money he owed me because he had spent it all on merch

I didn't hear from him all day, didn't even acknowledge us when we returned to start packing up.

-when we arrived at my home after leaving my dad’s he locked himself away all night, I didn’t see him until the next morning when I drove him home. (which he didn't provide me gas for, didn't even say one word to me).

I was lucky that my friend Boo tagged along when I took him home because she is one of the best friends I have had or will ever have and despite Yucee's hatred of her he could actually learn a LOT from her about being a good person.

I did have some contact with him post convention which is outlined in most of these messages, but for about the past month I have not contacted him out of one anon (see end of this post).

So just keep in mind that when he says his convention experience was awful that he’s the reason for a good portion of it going bad, he didn’t even bother apologizing to my friends once for ruining their convention, a convention that we all look forward to a year in advance.

Now I believe my friend's deserve to have their voices heard.

Boo’s Testimonial:

(This one’s a bit messy thanks to tumblr’s image limit)

Seth’s Testimonial:

In summary: yucee aka Jamie/Mike McCarver is a lazy, manipulative, self centered man. He’s a 27 year old who acts like he’s a child and plays up his problems for sympathy, he refuses to ever take blame or apologize for anything because how could he do wrong when he’s autistic/disabled. If he ever does apologize he never says it directly to the person, rather he goes for a general apology. He also says he’s learned from his mistakes but it’s obvious that he’s just saying that in an attempt to placate those he’s wronged or save face.

He’s also known to twist words to garner sympathy, what a shocker:

I sent him an anon as bait because I knew he’d twist the words. But I never said he didn’t deserve testosterone, and he knows that’s not what I meant, by not publishing the ask he can twist the words how he likes, which he likes to do a lot.

The anon read “If you paint a piece of shit gold it’s still a piece of shit. I’m not sure what you think you learned from your experience but it doesn’t change that you’re a pedophile. You were old enough to know what you were doing was wrong, in the end you hurt someone and if your not man enough to just issue an apology to them you’re a coward and no amount of testosterone will make you a real man. Your mother and father would be ashamed.”

Oh, and don’t forget about him being a pedophile.

Yucee was/is a sexually aggressive pedophile who refuses to acknowledge that he’s mentally messed up someone so bad that it’s still affecting them to this day and doesn’t even bother to apologize to them because he thinks they’ve traumatized him too. They were 14 years old, he was 22. He seems to have made it his mission to demonize his victim when his victim has not even made contact with him in three years. He says he’s changed but continues to befriend people at least five years younger than him, while they still are legal adults it’s still creepy considering the past he’s had with younger individuals.

And Yucee if you’re reading this: Your victim has not sent you any anons, you know exactly who has because you’ve told me before you know it’s her.

Please boost this, do NOT interact with this user to send hate, and PLEASE stay safe.

#callout #signal boost #boku no hero academia #bnha #shigaraki tomura #hawks bnha #dabi bnha #shigadabi #akeshu #shuake #persona 5 #p5 akechi #p5 akira #ghirazant #pokemon #pedophilia//

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roslinadama-sinequanon · 6 years

Text

Saying Good-Bye to Yesterday-Chapter 5

Andy reveals his true feelings about Rusty and then he and Sharon are back to work after their holiday vacation. Sharon begins to deal with the ramifications of being on the short list for Assistant Chief, including coming into Winnie Davis's line of fire. Andy struggles with not being cleared for full duty.

You can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321687/chapters/37261535

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13004092/5/Saying-Good-Bye-to-Yesterday

and here:

“Andy, can you help me with this tie?”

“Sure kid.” Andy set his spoon down and rose from the dining room table where he was having breakfast with Sharon.

“I‘ve tried it like 10 times just the way you showed me but I can‘t get it right.” Rusty turned his back allowing Andy to lean over him from behind and direct him in deftly flipping the tie into a perfect knot.

“Remember, wide end on the right, small on the left and you’re only going to move this wide side. Put the wide end over the small end here, and then up into the loop from underneath. “

Rusty shook his head with defeat. “I don’t know how you do it so quickly.”

“Practice. You‘ll get it.” Andy turned him around, straightened the knot then gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Watching them, Sharon warmed at the very natural father and son moment shared between the man she loved and her son. “You look very handsome this morning,” she said to Rusty.

“Yeah, thanks.” He grimaced and tugged at the tie. “I just hate how it feels like it’s choking me.”

“You better get used to it, Andy sat back in his chair. “If you’re going to be a lawyer you’re going to spend a lot of time in a suit and tie.”

“I know.” Rusty sat with them at the table and grabbed the box of Wholegrain Cheerios.

“Are you looking forward to your internship?” Sharon tried to ignore the several spoonfuls of sugar he added to his cereal.

“I am. I’m a little nervous.”

“You’ll be fine. Just listen to Andrea. You’ll learn a lot from her. Do as she says and---”

“And don’t irritate her, I know, I know.”

“I never told you not to irritate her.” Sharon was taken by surprise. “Who told you that?”

“Him.” Rusty pointed at Andy who had just taken a mouth full of oatmeal.

“Andy.” She turned to him with exasperation.

Andy swallowed and shrugged. “What? Come on, I love the kid and all but, he can be…“ He froze with his spoon halfway to his mouth, realizing what he’d just blurted out. “Well, uh, “he fumbled, “he can be, you know…irritating.”

“Said the pot to the kettle. “ Sharon smiled into her coffee mug, amused by his discomfort. It was the first time she‘d ever heard Andy say he loved her son and that sentiment did all kinds of funny things to her insides.

“What does that mean?” Rusty tried to focus on what Sharon was saying but was still trying to process Andy’s comment.

“It means that you are both know-it-alls and that in turn makes you both come off as irritating at times.” Sharon rose to bring her cereal bowl and coffee mug to the sink. While she was rinsing her bowl, she heard her phone go off back at the table.

“Who is it?” She asked Andy.

He took her phone, swiped it and keyed in her password. “It’s Caroline Mitchum.”

“Caroline?” She wiped her wet hands on a dishrag then took the phone from Andy. Caroline had taken over for her as the LAPD’s Women’s Coordinator when she left the PSB to take over Major Crimes. Since the Women’s Coordinator handled sexual harassment issues and hostile work environments the department liked the position filled by someone in Professional Standards. For almost 10 years that had been her. “Yes, hello Caroline.” She wandered off with the phone while Andy and Rusty finished cleaning up.

Andy’s curiosity was piqued and he tried to hear what Sharon was saying to Caroline but Rusty began yammering on about having Gus over for dinner when he got back from his holiday visit with his mother in Las Vegas and he couldn’t hear much of anything. Finally, he cut the kid off mid-sentence. “Yeah, yeah, Gus, dinner, okay, now sshh…” He wagged a hand at him in a ’keep it down gesture and walked to the edge of the kitchen hoping to catch some of the conversation, but Sharon was too damn soft-spoken.,

“You know it’s rude to eavesdrop, right?”

Andy rolled his eyes and smirked. “Like I said, irritating.”

Finally, Sharon clicked off on the call and before she could even set her phone down Andy asked, “What did Caroline want?”

Sharon sighed. “To talk to me about the Assistant Chief position.”

“I had a feeling. I told you that you should go for it.”

“Andy, we’ve discussed this. I’m happy where I am.”

“I know you are. But you’d be really good.”

Sharon grabbed her coat, her stomach knotting. She’d tried to put her worries about the vacated position aside while on their Christmas holiday, but now it was right there, front and center. She wasn’t going to be able to avoid it for much longer. Chief Pope had said he would begin the promotion process and interviews after the New Year. She knew she was on the shortlist, and that there were others on the short list who might do her division harm if they got the job.

“Karma really is a bitch, I guess,” she reflected.

“Why do you say that?” Andy took his coat from her and scooped the car keys out of the bowl where they kept them.

“After Chief Delk died, as the Woman’s Coordinator I went to Brenda and tried to push her into interviewing for the position. She said she didn’t want it, that she was happy where she was. I didn’t give that answer much credence. I thought she was crazy not to go for it. Now I understand why she didn’t.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I love the work that I am doing, it’s challenging and fulfilling in ways that my work in FID wasn’t. And I love the people I work with. If Brenda felt even a small percentage of what I feel, I get it now. But what I saw then was a woman reluctant to grab her power, a woman who didn’t want to step on the toes of the man she’d had an affair with and who was now also up for the same position. And that is just one of the many reasons I don’t think Pope will give me the job.”

“Because you convinced Brenda to go for it?”

“Not just convinced her to go for it, actively supported her for the job over him… and he knows it.”

*******************************

There would be no easing back into work after an almost two-week absence. Sharon had barely gotten started looking at her budget when she got the call that a body had been found. With most of her team off at active shooter training and Andy at the doctors trying to get re-instated for full duty, it was up to her to head to the crime scene. She’d just pulled up beside the three black and whites and the medical examiner's cars when her phone started going off. Swiping the screen, she saw the text was from Fritz who had returned early from DC.

“Provenza cheated. Major Crimes failed training. Davis on the warpath. Will need to redo the training after the written exam.”

“Shit.” She cursed under her breath. Frigging Provenza. She should have known he’d pull a stunt like this. He hadn’t taken the training seriously. He never did. All morning he’d been griping about it, trying to find ways he wouldn’t have to attend. After 40 years on the job, he liked to think he knew everything there was to know about police work and without Andy there to take the tactical lead and keep him at least semi in line, what happened was almost inevitable. Still, she really wasn’t looking forward to having Deputy Chief Winnie Davis breathing down her neck. It was no secret that as the Deputy Chief second in command to former Assistant Chief Russell Taylor; Winnie had expected the Assistant Chief position to be hers by default after he was killed in the courtroom shootout. When Fritz was directed to fill the interim position, she made no secret of her displeasure. Sharon also knew that her own name, along with several others, was being floated about as a possible replacement, putting her right in the line of fire. So far, she’d been able to avoid Winnie’s hostility, but considering that trainings fell under the unpleasant woman’s jurisdiction and one of Sharon’s team had just metaphorically spit in her face, she was sure she was going to hear about it.

It was while she was in the crime tent examining the dead body of a young woman curled up in rigor in the fetal position, that she was interrupted by the arrival of her team.

“Ah, good morning, Captain.” Provenza breezed into the tent as if all was right with the world. “Sorry we're late. But, overall, I'd say that the training went off without a hitch. “

Sharon stood and faced him with a look that told him she already knew everything and wasn’t pleased. “Acting Assistant Chief Howard already texted me, Lieutenant.”

“Yeah, but if you don't count that very last moment…”

“I'm unofficially reprimanding you for failing to comply with the rules.”

Given his Captain’s near obsession with following the rules, the slap on the wrist was a best-case scenario for him and he took it as such. Rather than argue his point, which would get him nowhere and only piss her off even more, he kept his mouth shut. While she questioned Buzz, his eyes moved to her left hand, surprised to see the ring finger bare.

Damn. That meant he owed Tao five bucks.

Given the way Andy was acting before they left for their holiday ski trip, nervous, giddy, grinning like an idiot in love, a side of Flynn he’d never seen until he fell in love with their Captain, he’d thought for sure that he was ready to pop the question. So, there could only be two reasons her finger was still bare. Either Flynn hadn’t been able to grab his balls and just do it or…Oh God, maybe the Captain had said “no”.

Funny how that speculation caused his heart to plummet. Not very long ago he’d thought Flynn hooking up with the Captain was about the worse idea his friend had ever had, and Flynn had a history of bad ideas. Okay, well, maybe he was the one with the bad ideas and Flynn usually went along for the ride, but still, he’d thought Andy was nuts. Yeah, the Captain was gorgeous, had legs that wouldn‘t quit and a surprisingly warm, nurturing heart. He got why Flynn was attracted to her. But getting involved with her romantically was another thing altogether. It felt impetuous, ill thought out and based on an infatuation, all motivations characteristic of Andy Flynn. More importantly, it had the makings of a disaster, possibly destroying everything they’d built in the Major Crimes division. Of course, he’d been wrong about all that. Very wrong, even if he had yet to admit it to anyone but himself.

As it turned out, Flynn was good for Sharon. He softened her hard edges, made her smile and loosened her up. She laughed more when he was around and displayed an easy affection that at one time would have seemed astonishing. Some women were natural flirts, teasing men 18 to 80 whether they were interested in them or not. Sharon Raydor was not that kind of woman. She didn’t flirt with men to butter them up or get what she wanted. In fact, he had never seen her flirt with any man except Andy, not even her ex-husband.

And Sharon was good for Flynn. She’d been able to work her way under his abrasive, cynical armor to find the lonely, unhappy man inside, changing his life in a 180 that was nothing short of incredible. Her calm disposition and serenity seemed to settle his intense, volatile nature. Anyone who knew Andy 10 years ago would barely recognize the man he was today, kinder, happier and finally at peace. Sure, he could still be an ass at times, but Sharon softened him in much the same way he softened her. Over the years he’d watched the guy go from woman to woman, never emotionally involved, never finding what he needed. Maybe because, as it turned out, what he needed was the woman he had once referred to as the “ice queen of FID”. Sure, he supposed the same could be said for him, at least until he’d found his darling Patrice, but at least he’d been caught six times. Six times down the aisle. He winced. Maybe Andy was right. Maybe he was the impetuous one, rushing from one marriage to another. Flynn had never even come close to walking down the aisle again, at least not until now. Maybe that’s why seeing the guy fall so hard for their very self-contained boss had been so shocking…and scary. He’d never seen Flynn crash, and given his history with the bottle, he never wanted to. If the Captain had turned down his proposal…Well hell….He could only hope that isn’t what happened.

****

Sharon was slipping the surgical booties over her Jimmy Choo heels when Andy arrived to join her and Julio at the morgue. He didn’t say anything, just grabbed his scrubs and started putting them on. That wasn’t a good sign. If he’d gotten the all clear, she knew he’d be talking her ear off.

“Well?” She finally asked. Andy scowled. “I take it the news isn’t good.” She rested a sympathetic hand on his arm.

“He still won’t sign off on me returning to full duty. I told him that I barely have any numbness now at all, that it comes and goes, but until it’s completely gone, he won’t sign off. “

“Andy, there’s a good reason for that,” she opened the door to the exam room and he followed her in. “You can’t be handling a firearm if your hand goes numb, you‘ll be a danger to yourself and to others.”

His sigh told her that he knew she was right but it also spoke of a world of disappointment.

“She wasn't raped,” Dr. Morales said. “I broke her legs out of rigor. There were no signs of sexual assault, which will have to be our silver lining because the story only gets more brutal. At first, I noticed bruising on your victim's neck and petechia.”

“Kendall says she was strangled?” Andy looked up from the file he was reading.

“But it's worse than that. Kendall didn't have the benefit of seeing an x-ray. Unfortunately, I do. Dislocation of her C2 vertebrae. Severed her spinal cord. So the killer was very strong. Or very angry. Maybe both. The pain would've been unbearable. And there are these weird post-mortem indentations on her arm. See these marks running across it?

“From something she was lying on? “ Sharon asked.

“I wish I could be more certain, but without knowing where she was murdered... this dress... Hmm.”

Julio’s cell phone went off. “Ma'am, text from Sykes. No Missing person report with us for someone matching the vic’s description.”

Morales interrupted, “You know what? Stay here.” As soon as the door shut, Andy turned to Sharon.

“Hey, you know my buddy in Operations? You remember Clint?”

“Mm-hmm.” Sharon tried to remain focused on the case, but the minute Andy mentioned Operations she knew where he was going.

“He says that Winnie Davis is up in arms about the way Provenza left training, claiming he cheated. “

Sharon glanced up at Julio and he tipped his hand back and forth in a gesture indicating, maybe a little bit.

“Well, it wouldn't have happened had I been there.”

“Light duty only till the doctor says otherwise.” Though he said nothing, she could feel his frustration and made a note to keep him as involved intellectually and strategically in the case as possible.

“Anyway, Davis could use this cheating business as a way to push you out of the running for Assistant Chief.”

“Let her. How many times do I have to say it? I'm happy where I am.”

Andy looked to Julio for back up and Julio jumped in. “You would be good at the job, though, ma'am. Deputy Chief Davis? Who knows how she feels about us. “

“Well, I think Chief Howard... “

“Will always be former FBI. The department will never accept him as Assistant Chief on a permanent basis.” Andy paused, remembering their breakfast conversation regarding know-it-alls and tendencies to irritate, adding, “Uh, my opinion.”

Morales re-entered the room. “I knew it. There was a call earlier asking if we'd found a woman named Allie King, age 26, and the description of her clothes match down to the blue-on-blue pattern of this dress.“

“Was it a call from Missing Persons?”

“No. Private investigator. Said he was representing Ms. King's boyfriend, whose name I don't have. But the PI's name was Clark Farman.”

“I found Allie King's Facebook page. Profile pic matches, but her page is private.

“Clark Farman. Well, I wonder if he'd sit down with us for a minute.”

*********************************

“Hey, guys.”

Everyone came to attention when Rusty entered the room in a suit and tie.

“Who died?” Provenza asked.

“It's my first day interning at the D.A.'s office, and Andrea sent me over to get video from your murder. “

“How's it going so far? “ Sharon asked.

“It's fine, fine. But the, uh, the servers are down, so I'm running around picking up stuff... documents, briefs, crime scene videos, and, um, coffee. Mom, do you have a second?”

“Mm-hmm“

Provenza shook his head. “First you want to be a journalist, now a lawyer. Where did I go wrong?”

Rusty grinned at the older man’s mocking dismay. “I’m irredeemable, Lieutenant.” He moved in close to his mother, speaking softly for privacy. “Um, okay, so I just got this really weird text from Gus this morning from Vegas. Um... "Visit with Mom okay. Been thinking when I'm back we should sit down and discuss the future."

“Did you call him?”

“Yeah, of course I did. “ He knew by now it was the first thing she would suggest doing. She was always telling him that important things should be discussed in person, that it was too hard to gauge tone and intent in texts and emails. “But he said that... that he... he couldn't talk and that what he had to say needed to be done face to face.”

“Are you two having problems lately?”

“N-No. I mean, I've... I've been watching myself for things, like, unconscious selfishness... and... And not paying attention and not wasting other people's time and... “

“Gus may have something good to say, Rusty. Try not to worry so much. ” Though she understood why he always thought the worse, given the life he’d led prior to moving in with her, she hoped one day he’d be able to expect the best.

Buzz returned and approached them. “Here, Rusty, this has all the video from where the body was found and part of an interview with the P.I. who claimed to be searching for the victim.”

“Thank you.”

**********************

Sharon was in the middle of watching the interview with Jeffrey Day, the very wealthy, very angry ex-boyfriend of their victim Allie King when Andy poked his head in.

“Uh, Sharon. Deputy Chief Winnie Davis is here.”

“Now? I'm watching an important interview. Tell her I'll be out in a second.”

Winnie stepped right into the open doorway clearly not appreciating the dismissive impatience in Sharon’s tone. “It can’t wait. If you could please join me.” Though she used the word please, it was a firm order.

Sharon tried to contain her irritation. “Grab me if something happens,” she said to Andy as she passed by him to follow Davis.

Provenza watched carefully for the door to close before turning to Buzz. “Headphones Buzz. Headphones. I mean, how do you expect us to hear them?”

Buzz rolled his eyes and put the headphones on while Provenza moved closer to the door trying to hear what Davis was saying to Sharon.”

“I expected more from you, Captain,” Winnie said sternly.

“More what?”

“An e-mail, a text, anything to explain your division's disrespect for training on the biggest safety issue we face as a department.”

“Did you not hear about the young woman that we found strangled to death? “ Seriously, where were the woman’s priorities?

“You could've kicked that case up to Hollywood.”

“And violate LAPD policy. Why?”

“Because when our most overly resourced division blows off training, it sends a message across the rank and file.”

“Overly resourced?” There it was. Winnie Davis did have it in for Major Crimes.

“And Lieutenant Provenza's dismissive attitude set a poor example. “

“For which he has been harshly reprimanded.” Okay, so maybe that was laying it on a little thick, but Winnie didn’t have to know that.

Winnie noticed Provenza in the window eavesdropping. “Do you mind if we step over here?” She moved Sharon further away from her team.

Watching them move away from the door Wes asked Andy, “So who's that?”

“That is Deputy Chief of Operations Winnie Davis. And she's here because you guys cheated during training. “That still gnawed at him. How the hell could he have Sharon’s back if he wasn’t even going to be allowed out in the field? Not that he would make that complaint to Sharon. His very independent fiancée had once told him, under no uncertain terms, that she had been looking out for her own best interests at work for a very long time and she didn’t need him for that. Well, maybe she didn’t, but it wasn’t going to stop him. He was always going to have her back, whether she liked it or not.

“No, we didn't cheat,” Julio said. “The lieutenant sacrificed himself for others.”

“As is my nature. All right, get rid of the headphones. We need to go back to work.”

Winnie crossed her arms with a glare. “Why are you publicly challenging my authority?”

Sharon was flabbergasted; the woman was deliberately trying to pick a fight with her. “I didn't... Look it up. A murder victim found on public property is de facto a major crime. “

“Which I hope you can solve by tomorrow when I expect your division to at least take the written tests. And while you're at it, why don't you schedule a new training session.”

“Uh, Captain. Interview's getting good.” Andy stood in the doorway looking at the two women.

“I'll be right there. “ She waited until Andy had gone back in the room, inhaled to keep her annoyance in check, then turned back to Winnie in her most conciliatory, respectful manner. “We'll do everything we can, Chief. Should I expect to be seeing more of you while these promotion issues get sorted? “

“I think I made my point. Go ahead. Your boyfriend's calling you.”

Stunned, Sharon pivoted on her heels with a glare. What the hell was that all about? A fresh swell of anger rushed through her veins and she rubbed at the headache building in her temples.

“Ah. Pleasant conversation?” Provenza tried to smooth out the situation when she re-entered the room, but he did feel bad for having caused her problems with Davis. He probably should have just sucked it up and done the training properly.

“It was bound to happen. “ As pissed as she was, Sharon tried to brush it off. It wouldn’t do to get her whole team worked up. She‘d never liked the idea of pitting divisions against each other. Ultimately, they were all one team whose job it was to protect the citizens of Los Angeles. When people lost sight of that, when it became personal, that‘s when the trouble started and God knows she‘d seen enough of that over at the PSB. “She's been desperate to complain about me for months.”

And evidently, she wasn’t done. After rarely seeing or hearing from Davis she was suddenly everywhere, monitoring every move Sharon was making, First thing the next morning she was summoned down to Fritz‘s office to meet with him and Davis over a request she had made late the previous night. The team had been following a suspect and when that suspect was pulled over by a local black and white, she had requested that the officer let him go so they could continue to follow him. When the officer said it was a “no-go” that the guy was drunk, blasted, and could end up killing someone, it was the end of the story for Sharon. But not for Winnie. Now they both stood in front of Fritz’s desk, one accusatory, one defensive.

“You tried to bully an officer into actions that could've made her liable for a crime.”

“Bully?” The sheer gall of this woman was appalling. “I made a request. We had reason to believe our suspect was heading to a location of interest for... “

“He was driving drunk,” Winnie interrupted. “And Officer Ahern felt... “

“We did not know he was drunk when I made the request. Everything I've done is by the book. If you would like to have Professional Standards look into it... “

“Wow! Offer to be interviewed by your old friends over at PSB? How brave.” The outrageous, over the top condescension Winnie was displaying was enough to cause Fritz to call an end to what he considered a ridiculous waste of his time.

“Okay, I don't know about brave,” he said. “But an Internal Affairs investigation is completely unwarranted. Major Crimes was set up outside the suspect's house. How could they know he was drunk?

“But he's sober now, and the sooner I can talk with him, the better.”

Fritz nodded, giving Sharon permission to leave.

“Thank you.”

Once Sharon was gone, Fritz regarded the severe-looking angry woman standing before him. “If you really want to replace me, Winnie, you're going about this the worst way possible. “ Accusing Sharon Raydor of all people of not following the rules made her look petty at best, foolish at worst. And making enemies of everyone else up for the position she wanted was not going to earn her any points.

“Thanks for your advice, sir. But in the absence of firm leadership, I have a duty to prevent this department from breaking up into self-interested factions. Anything else you want me to know?” Her disdain for him was palpable, making it quite apparent that Sharon Raydor was not the only person in her line of fire.

****

Andy glanced up from his computer when he saw Sharon returning from Fritz’s office. He could tell she was pissed by how fast she was walking and the hard click of her high heels on the floor. He followed her into her office, watching her slam a folder down on her desk. Oh yeah, she was pissed. She didn’t show her anger often, but when she did, well, watch out.

“What did that bitch want this time?”

“Andy! “ Her eyes snapped to the door to make sure no one heard him. “Shut the door.”

He did so and then approached her desk. “So?”

“She accused me of bullying that officer last night, trying to force her into letting a drunk driver back out on the road.”

“That’s bullshit, Sharon!” he exploded. “The minute she said he was too drunk to be let back on the road you dropped it.”

“That’s what I said. I offered to bring the case to Internal Affairs.”

“Are you kidding? They’re not, are they?”

“No. Fritz made her stand down.”

“Damn. What the hell is she after?”

“A promotion... and maybe my job.”

Given Winnie’s belligerence, it was becoming more and more apparent that if she received the promotion to Assistant Chief, it might very well be the end of Major Crimes.

TBC

#sharon raydor #andy flynn #shandy #Major Crimes #saying good-bye to yesterday

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soloshikigami · 7 years

Text

*small sigh*

Okay, look, I’ve been getting a handful of messages, all on Anon, a couple of them I posted and most of the rest, I’m sorry, but I’m ignoring. They’re not being out-right mean or rude, but that almost makes it worse, because you (the anons) think you’re being helpful and frankly, you really aren’t.

Quick example, the anon who sent me the “Oh do this, challenge yourself and you’ll be a better writer!” I was actually quite offended by that. As an artist, constant improvement is the name of the game, so to be told that is a little insulting. Also, it comes off as unsolicited advice, which is even more insulting coming from someone hiding behind the anonymous tag. I didn’t ask for a challenge, I think trying to keep up with what I currently have on my plate is quite enough, thank you very much.

I really do not want to be a bitch about this and I probably am coming off as such anyway, but I really don’t want to but I cannot keep silent. Please read what you are sending me, remember that I am a human being with a life outside of Tumblr on the other side, and think about your intent.

This is all the basic tl;dr portion of my post. I have more to say, most of it irrelevant, so I’m putting it behind a cut and will likely delete that portion later.

This is the reason why I resented being told to take on something as a challenge - they told me to pick my personal most hated couple and write a story about them. Why? I write for fandom for fun. Yes I will take some things as a challenge but that it at my discretion. Also, quite frankly, ho do you know I’m not already doing this? Maybe I don’t really like Edgeberry, maybe Slim/Swap makes no sense to me, maybe I really do think fontcest is weird and strange but I’m so intrigued that I do it anyway? (that last bit is a small lie, I love fontcest in all it’s weird taboo-ness).

But also, this is why I find it insulting:

- at the time, I had a 2K word commission, and I was just given another. - I have a 1600 word prize fic to write. - I have 6 drabbles to write for prizes for the Valentine’s Day event. - I have 5 more drabbles I want to write for friends from Atlantale because I want to show them love. - I was talked into writing a fic by my Atlantale housemates based on a Buzzfeed video. - I want to write more HaremTale - I want to write more TwixtTale - I want to write more Gradient - I want to finish Family Dynamic - I want to write more for the Heat Sync Series and maybe, omg, finish that, too - I have a Sans and Papyrus “kidnap” Blue fic I want to write. - Oh right I still have Forgive Me, Father to do. - I’m still working on a master fic list which includes going through my 200+ drabbles and separating them by pairing as well as my 5000 posts on tumblr to ink up the fics I’ve posted here (so the Anon who asked me about going back to put my old posts under cuts... did I answer that? I dunno, but again, they should be anyways, so, back off).

But apparently, I need to add a challenge. Oh, and I need to work faster, update more often, and put all my fics under cuts now that I know how to do it on mobile.

And this is just fandom side. Let’s look at the other half of my life:

- I have a house, a cat, and six chickens to care for and maintain, which not only includes clean-up, but yardwork with leaf pick-up and tree destruction (half a tree fell down during a storm back in October - we still need to figure out how to cut that up and get rid of it). - Dishwasher is one the fritz and a bathroom sink faucet is leaking. Repairing these is left up to me. - My job is getting more complex; this is fine because it beats being bored but I’m a little stressed because we’re all still trying to catch up from a major mistake I made at the worst possible time (of course), I’m being given inventory responsibility but I have no access to said inventory and don’t really know or understand what’s expected of me, plus training girl in a faraway office who doesn’t want the responsibilities I’m training her for. - My truck is at the end of its rope, getting a new(er) vehicle is inevitable and will be needed very soon.

There’s also a lot of other stressors going on as well as my own physical and mental problems, so, if you Anons can back the fuck off and be a little nicer, I would very much appreciate it.

So thank you, now that I’m done being a whiny little do-nothing bitch and feel like a lazy shit, I’m going to do the grocery shopping and try to do something productive with my pathetic little life, a’ight? A’ight.

#Solo rants #i'm a little pissed #you might just want to avoid me #it's temporary #i'm also a marshmallow #i'll be all right

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ghostmartyr · 7 years

Text

SnK 99 Thoughts

This post brought to you by liberal stealing from The Mincing Mockingbird: Guide to Troubled Birds. Because why not.

If you don’t think the ending tagline couldn’t be greatly improved by the addition of Gurren Lagann’s narrator, you are wrong.

So if this month was meant to make me think that everyone in that audience doesn’t have a gigantic destruction flag planted squarely in their midst, well, I’m clearly getting all the wrong signals.

We’ve got significant people from a bunch of major governments come to call. The higher up Marley soldiers that the people who actually run Marley don’t like are chilling. The Warrior kidlets have great seats. The parents of former Warrior kidlets have great seats. There are reporters. There’s a grand reclassification of a lie to an audience ever ready to redirect their Eldian fears and hatred. The current Warriors have been awayed from the premises. People from the East Sea Clan exit before the production even gets started. Willy is manning the stage.

All I’m saying is that if something were to go horribly wrong and a collection of mangled bodies appeared in the place of the crowd, it could be done without causing severe problems for either side of the conflict that we’ve come to know. The most significant losses would be the successor kidlets, and when it comes to the timeframe likely to be covered by the immediate plot, that’s close to irrelevant.

Except as meaningful emotional trauma for the current Warriors (plus Falco), who have ever so conveniently been removed from the audience.

The tension in this chapter points to something exploding, and I... really don’t feel comfortable pointing to any one side as the cause.

In one corner, you have Willy going to pieces over exposing a truth that his family has kept secret for a hundred years. Arguably, that’s a great reason to feel nervous. In the presence of Suspicious Happenings, it becomes one more tally.

In the adjacent corner, you’ve got a prominent member of the East Sea Clan coming to say hello to Willy before his performance. Despite the nation having the most noted interest in not being friends with Marley in the past, Miss Kiyomi is a quality of guest who is free to enter the green room at will, and implies knowing exactly what Willy is up to, and considers some combination of his behavior brave.

Then immediately leaves before his show starts.

In yet another corner, which is actually the nosebleed section of the show, Magath is expecting reports on anything unusual, and absolutely no one is calling the sudden departure of every single present Warrior unusual. Or one of the East Sea Clan peeps leaving early. Or Reiner straight-up vanishing with a Warrior candidate.

In a corner that is actually another basement, Eren is destroying what’s left of Reiner’s stability. By far the easiest corner to make sense of, but sense making is not for the early portions of this post.

Meanwhile you’ve got one faction definitely up to some immediate shady business, because you can’t really say dropping people down a hole is the act of a friend. Unless you subscribe to the Itachi Uchiha school of friendship, in which case, A+.

All that combined leaves us with a terrified circus master, and every prominent piece of plot significance being rushed away from the stage. With three of the available four Marleyan Warriors being collected in holes. The only one not in a hole is closest to Magath, as well as the brother of public enemy number one.

If something were to go wrong, the only Titans not in holes and known to be in Marley are the War Hammer and the Beast.

What gets interesting is that Eren is undeniably the party responsible for Reiner being in a hole, yet the obvious Marley counters to Eren and everything he stands for do absolutely nothing about preventing more Titans from finding themselves in holes. The page where Magath asks for reports on anything unusual, even the smallest detail, is accompanied by Willy stress drinking, and followed directly by the isolation of their Warriors.

Not a single person from Marley finds the departure of their Titans from the production worth commenting on. Pieck and Zeke both have marks of hesitance at complying with their instructions, but absolutely no one on the side they’re supposed to be signed to expresses any concern.

Even though they’re expressly looking out for anything unusual.

I like the idea of Paradis folks continuing their love affair with basements, and I think it would be neat if they’re responsible for Galliard and Pieck’s situation just because we’d get to see Our Heroes in action for the first time in ages, but... no one in the Marley chain of command finds this weird?

Their most powerful weapons get carted off on the night of a declaration of war, and it’s not worth a comment?

Blaming Marley for everything is really easy most of the time, because they’re generally up to no good. In this case, the only thing that’s stopping me is Eren’s involvement. Yeah, no one raises any alarms when Pieck, Galliard, and Zeke make their exit, but there’s also been no one casting suspicious looks at Reiner’s absent seat.

It seems like a really easy thing to claim that whatever happens next, Marley wants their A-listers carefully out of the way, but that would include Reiner. If they are involved, not knowing where Reiner is would be a major concern; you don’t drop people down holes unless the next move is going to be dramatic, and as wonderful as improv is, a lot of great drama works best if you know where your cast is.

Which introduces another fun question: Do the powers that be know where Reiner is?

The baseball mitt from last chapter at least planted the seeds of possibility for communication between Eren and Zeke. If (and the strength of that if is still in question) they have been in contact, and Zeke knows what Eren’s plans are for Reiner, in theory, Marley knows where all the major players are.

Zeke is Magath’s golden boy. He’s also Eren’s brother. He’s in the unique position of having ties that could make him privy to both sides’ tactics here.

He is also, as previously mentioned, the only one not in a hole.

I have no idea whose plan is winning out here, but the sense I get is that there is some kind of “I know you know I know you know” hustling going on, and someone is planning to take advantage of the openings that the other side’s plan leaves.

Basically, the one thing that can be said for certain is that someone is plotting a thing. Too many pieces have been moved too deliberately.

You’d think pinning the blame for a war that hasn’t started yet on a person you’ve never met would be enough for one night, but where’s the fun in that.

...I guess I’m already close enough to that to dive right in, so yeah, in the non-conspiracy theory section, Marley still continues to be horrible!

Like. Let me see if I have this right.

Diet Reiss’ production is all about revealing the true story of the island’s origins. It did not come about purely through the strengths of the Tybur family and Helos, but by the grand design of Karl Fritz.

Karl moves a whole bunch of Eldians off to Paradis and quarantines them, leaving behind a threat that is a total lie, because he’s actually sworn to peace.

He’s the true hero of Marley’s liberation, and so deeply ashamed of what his people have done that he offers up complete surrender to any of Marley’s decisions involving his people. Because his people have no inherent right to life, and he has the right to offer their lives up as part of his personal atonement--though in the meantime, if Marley could hold off a bit on killing them until he’s dead, that would be super rad.

Essentially, continuing the theme of bad parenting, we enter the names of the fathers of modern society, because wow were you all about grand gestures that don’t mean a damn thing and screwing over lots of people because it was easier than fixing the base problems.

Following that, though Willy leaves that part of the story out, Marley proceeds to tarnish the good name of the one Eldian King who helped them for the next century. While reminding all the good little Eldian children that the island is pure evil, and they should do their very best to not be like that.

Yeah, the shocked looks on the kidlets’ faces are depressing.

And of course, the reason Willy is explaining that they’ve spent a hundred years lying about the island is because, hey, the island may have started out a totally chill utopia, but in recent years, the ~*evil*~ Eren Yeager has stolen the power keeping it that way, and now the island’s back to being a real threat that we’ve absolutely gotta do something about!

So enters the latest chapter in Marley being terrible.

This makes my head hurt.

“Surprise, King Fritz was the good guy all along, and we were lying about how dangerous the island was!

Except now we’re not lying and it’s back to being dangerous.

Burn the witch.”

It’s like the boy who cried wolf, only the boy is also a wolf, so are the poor sheep, and really, however it plays out, any peasants unfortunate enough to listen to the boy wolf’s warning are going to get eaten alive. As are the wolves standing on the wrong side of the property line.

The point is, I hope this story ends with Willy being disemboweled.

In other news, Annie’s dad qualifies as one of the better parents we’ve seen solely because he actually cares about his daughter being alive.

Seriously, Reiner’s mother is terrible. She’s so pleased for Bertolt’s father, dying with all of the comforts Marley has to offer because his son dies a noble death as a teenager, and tries to extend that compliment to Annie.

Lady, as far as you know, you’re talking about dead children that your own selfishness condemned. Your son is a basket case thanks to trying to make your life better while you were too much of a coward to do something about it yourself.

(It is more complicated than that. I am not in the mood to care.)

Just... what the heck. A parent caring about their child living should not be noteworthy. The fact that Mr. Leonhart’s honorary status means less to him than his child should be a normal thing, and it isn’t.

If it wouldn’t permanently break Reiner (save that for the things that actually are his fault), I’d be in favor of Karina being disemboweled as well. She’s the only one who’s gained anything out of Reiner’s mission, and she’s happy to take advantage of the spoils even though it’s ruined her kid.

Though to be fair, it’s entirely possible that she hasn’t paid Reiner enough attention to notice that.

Speaking of Reiner!

I do like the opening flashback, bringing the old man up again.

Annie and Bertolt can’t help but dwell on some of the unpleasantness they’ve seen and caused, but Reiner avoids thinking too deeply about it until it slams into him like the Armored Titan slams into walls.

Today, playing the role of the Armored Titan, we have Eren!

Playing the role of walls, the much acclaimed, ever loved, sanity of Reiner!

Yeah, that’ll go well.

Eren’s done his homework. He’s already injured, so restraints won’t stop him from transforming if he needs to, and the massive destruction that a transformation from either one will cause means that he can get his point across without violence getting in the way. If they fight properly, people will die, so play nice.

(For the record, unless he’s fallen off the deep end worse than anticipated, I don’t think he ever intends to harm the people he’s effectively taken hostage. Eren’s always cared about life. Removing that during a timeskip is cheating of the highest magnitude. More to the point, though, Eren’s chosen a threat that requires absolutely no follow through to be effective. Reiner cares about life, too. It’s pure psychological torment, but the only one hurt by it did sort of kill his mother and thousands of other people.)

Reiner’s expressions this chapter are a gift. He’s terrified out of his wits, confronted by a ghost whose memory put a gun in his mouth, and no part of that strain gets kid gloves.

My favorite part, though--well, if I’m honest, there are several favorite parts to this show.

The first one is Reiner’s response when Eren tells him that he’s here to do the same thing that Reiner did.

There’s a lot to be said about how Reiner deals with being a fundamentally moral person who has done a long string of terrible things.

The summary is, “Not well,” but this whole sequence is such a dang microcosm of why Reiner’s head ends up snapping.

He serves Marley. He does his best for them. He protects his home, his family, his comrades. It’s his duty, and everything outside of that isn’t something he needs to think about. He puts it best when he transforms on top of the wall. He doesn’t know what’s wrong or right, but he’s going to see his mission through to the end.

Except Reiner likes to hide his own moral complexities from himself.

He’ll go along with whatever Marley’s plan is. With distinction, even.

But the second Eren says that he’s going to do what Reiner did, there’s only one response. He’s shaky, scared, and horrified. Because what he did to Eren’s people is an abomination. Reiner can’t even grasp why someone would want to do something like what he did.

Eren understands Reiner’s choices better than he does.

He is not gentle about it, and he’s not kind, but Eren gets what Reiner’s lost in the storm of his own conscience.

“You guys were trying to save the world.”

I think somewhere in the last four years, Reiner forgot that he meant that justification. The things he’s done have practically destroyed him. There isn’t any apology or action that can make up for it. He’ll stick to his mission, because he’s a Warrior, but outside of that frame of reference, there is no escaping the horrors or guilt.

(So work really hard at sticking to that mindset.)

But when he first joins the military on Paradis, he states his intentions clearly.

He’s here to save humanity.

Whatever he’s done, and whatever will come after, he means that.

It just so happens that what comes after is so horrible that I don’t think he can bear to connect what he’s done with anything like good intentions.

Eren still can.

He spends the whole chapter sending Reiner to a place that he would very much kill himself to get out of, and he’s still the one who looks at Reiner, and the awful, horrible things Reiner has done to his life, and say that it was born of good intentions.

Reiner hasn’t had the luxury of that kind of understanding. Ever. He can’t get it from himself, because his heart or mind would break at even having the conversation. He’s not going to get it from his friends, because one’s dead and the other mostly hated him before he left her behind. All that he has is memories he can’t share, and guilt that no one around him could even begin to understand.

And Eren might not be okay with any of it, but he sees the one kernel of good that is torturing Reiner, and he acknowledges it. They’re both between a rock and a hard place, and they’re trying to save the world.

It’s a more generous description of what Reiner’s done than he would ever be able to offer himself, even believing it, and for a second, I think the fact that Eren sees that gives him a sliver of hope.

He can’t keep it, because Reiner is damaged beyond belief, but for those few moments, he has someone who understands the best of him.

Best ship or best ship?

Naturally, they’re both still on opposing sides, Eren has just been announced as the world’s Worst, and Falco is watching this all quietly screaming, but hey, something went sort of okay and people aren’t yet dead.

Tune in next month to see that changing.

Oh, wait, I don’t think I did proper justice to Falco’s experience.

There we go.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 99 #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr #chapter post #it's November #that's my excuse

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