#i feel a little cheesy for giving them magic jewelry that lets them hide their suits instantly

[starry-bi-sky]

I am procrastinating homework and finals studying so I'm making another DPxDC au -- or more accurately, I am making an au of an au. or combining two aus to make a third one, because I am Procastinating And thinking about it.

(the part two for my Danny is Jason Todd au is like,,, half-made and I will get around to finishing it, promiiissse)

So the two aus I had in mind were combining, of course, the two clone aus - the Danny Clone and the Damian Clone au. For folks who haven't seen either posts (or saw one but not the other) here are summaries of both:

Damian Clone Au: The LoA make a clone of Damian Wayne specifically to either kill Damian Wayne and have the clone take his place as the heir to the LoA, or to bring him back. At 6 years old though and through magical teleportation mishaps, Baby Damian ends up in the warehouse district of Amity Park and picked up (and later adopted) by Danny Fenton. They develop a brotherly dynamic with one another.

Danny Clone Au: Danny is straight up a clone of Bruce Wayne, doesn't find out until a year after he has his accident. And, for the fun of it, is also mostly-powerless (he retains his ghost sense and a semblance of a ghost core and signature, but no ghost form). His reasoning for becoming Phantom is because he has walked into the lab watching his parents dissecting ghosts post-portal working more times than he can count. And due to this, changes his beliefs from "ghosts are evil" to "ghosts are sentient and sapient beings who don't deserve this treatment". (masterpost pinned on my blog, its currently incomplete) He is also a little GNC, as a treat. Long-haired Danny ftw. Ellie is a halfa because of the ectoplasm that Vlad used, and also the same age as Danny. They call each other twins and she is viciously protective of him. He uses a baseball bat and brass knuckles that I call 'jawbreakers' to fight ghosts.

Now admittedly, not much probably changes with the combination of these aus other than the potential parallels between Damian and Danny, and Bruce and Damian - and of course, I am always a sucker for parallels. Plus Damian's running off would take Danny finding him much longer, since he can no longer fly, but all the more meaningful because he still took so much time to find him.

(It probably also makes their first meeting different as well - Danny wears a ROTTMNT Casey Jones Jr. esq. mask when he goes out, but Damian would recognize lazarus green anywhere. He'd probably try harder to kill him though once he sees his face, since he knows that its not his father but an imposter.)

It also includes what I consider a hilarious conversation: "Since I'm a clone of Bruce Wayne, does this make me your dad or your brother?" "Don't be an idiot, laeazir." "You didn't answer my question."

The biggest change that comes from this is, of course, the fact that Danny now no longer has a leg to stand on with the "you're a human, I am a ghost" excuse in order to prevent Damian to help him with ghost-fighting, because now Danny is also a squishy, fleshy and fragile human just like Damian. And a human who, arguably, has less combat training than Damian and no powers to make up for it.

Now, Danny in both aus are about 16-17-ish in age, so they've had time to adapt to their new vigilante-hero lifestyle, but its still not the same as Damian's training as an assassin. Damian, unlike in the original clone au, remains insistent on his want to help Danny.

And,,, eventually wears him down after weeks or months of sneaking out after him, helping in fights, interfering, arguing, etc. Danny eventually agrees, exhausted, but he makes Damian promise, promise, that he will be careful and to focus on dodging and distraction. At least until Danny can figure out a safer alternative. He wants him as far removed from the fight as he can, he's a child for ancient's sake, after all.

Which is another issue too - if we follow Damian Clone timeline, then Damian is six years old when this happens. I'll be point blank, I do not see Danny ever actually agreeing to let a literal 6 year old go with him. SO, solution, I bump Damian's age to 7 when he arrives in the Fenton Family, and make him freshly eight years old when he finally gets Danny to agree.

It still SUCKS. He is still very much an itty bitty child, but as someone who has seen the difference between a six year old and an eight year old due to working at a daycare, an eight year old is still... slightly feasible. And an 8 year old assassin even more so (even if he hasn't trained properly in nearly a year or so)

So Danny, reluctantly, agrees to let Damian come with him on patrols.

He ghost-proofs Damian's sword (as he has since learned to do with his bat and jawbreakers), makes him a grappling hook and a Fenton thermos, and reluctantly lets Damian come with in his old LoA uniform that he appeared in (with some tailoring and ghost-proofing, because he has since begun to grow out of the uniform).

(and Danny himself also finally starts looking into alternatives to improve his own "suit" - which is all but a hoodie and reinforced jeans and a hockey mask. He needs to set an example to his little brother, goddammit.)

Then, as they're planning for Damian's eventual (dreaded on Danny's part) debut, they sit in their shared room and brainstorm for what to call Damian. "Ellie already uses the name Spirit." Danny says, sitting criss-cross at his desk with the eraser nub of a pencil chewed between his teeth.

(Behind him he has an investigative corkboard set up -- his accident left him with the ability to see ghosts not capable of being seen on the visible plane. 'Stereotypical' ghosts. Between school work, his social life, and ghost fighting, some of his downtime is spent figuring out ways to help them move on. His most recent is a cold case.)

(Bc with Danny, I loove to have him have some sort of trait that ties him in with his original counterpart. Nature vs Nurture and all that. Investigative work can be part of that.)

"What about Wraith?" Damian suggests from the floor, leaning against the bed frame while he goes over one of his english books. They've been practicing his reading and writing.

Danny furrows his brows. "A ghost seen typically shortly after or before someone's death?"

Damian nods. "Yes, it's of a similar cadence to 'Batman and Robin'."

"What's with you and your thing with Batman and Robin?" Danny asks with a playful half-smile, Damian shrugs and looks at his books. Danny sticks the eraser back between his incisors. "Phantom and Wraith... that works, though."

The first night out together, Danny fusses over Damian, making sure every bit of uniform was secured and in place -- something Damian took mild offense over. His outfit was far more reinforced than the juvenile get-up that his older brother wore.

But he let him fuss anyways. It made him loved.

"Now remember, Wraith--"

Damian interrupts him: "Yes, I know, Dany. Avoid and distract. Stay situationally aware. I fear that is something I should be telling you, however. Mother would have your head if she ever saw what your training was like."

(It was, not for the first time, that Damian wondered how his,,, "mother",,, would react if she ever met Danyal. Not good, he knows.)

Danny's shoulders sag, and he sighs. "I believe that, what with that super-secret spy--"

"Assassin."

Danny sends him a half-hearted chagrined look, "Assassin," he corrects, "organization that made you. I'm sure I'd give your mother an aneurysm." When he's finally okay with whatever make-believe issues he found with his suit, Danny reaches for the nearby side table and carefully slips on a black domino mask over Damian's eyes. It was thin, flexible, and made with some kind of material that Danny reassured was environmentally safe.

("Some kind of matieral that Wayne Industries invented awhile ago, Sam bought it for me." Danny told him when he first showed it to him.)

It was also cold. But the chill was made up for, slightly, with Danny's warmer hands smoothing it out over his skin, and ridding of any ridges that could form. Damian isn't sure entirely what Danyal did to keep it stuck onto his face, but when he touches it with his fingers he feels a very faint seam at the edge, and it doesn't budge against his hands. It felt like a second skin.

"There we go." Danny smiles, pulling his hands back. He still looks nervous. "It's not the same as my hockey mask," which sat atop his head, ready to be pulled down, "but I think a domino mask will work better for you considering your background."

He was right, a hockey mask would only hurt Damian's peripheral vision. This mask was thin enough that it didn't.

"Ready to go, Wraith?"

"After you, Phantom."

+++

Damian has much issue with Danny's suit. He can think of a million ways to make it better. It is one of the things he and Samantha Manson can get along with, and the few times they have spent time together they have brainstormed suit ideas. He knows that since Danny took him on as Wraith, he has started to look into better suit alternatives.

However. They are both aware of the same thing:

Danny is not Batman, nor Superman, nor Wonder Woman, nor Aquaman, or the Flash, or Green Arrow, or Nightwing, or any single hero on the public roster. He is also not rich like Lex Luthor or Vlad Masters or Bruce Wayne himself.

He has no money and no contacts, and thus, no way of properly improving his suit to be something even half as safe as the other supers.

And he refuses to let Samantha Manson help him find a way to fix that - even with all that money, Samantha Manson is on an allowance from her parents, and also, despite her other range of abilities, not capable of getting those materials without putting herself on a list of some sort. They are at a standstill.

Damian knows this, because he has asked.

Until one day when Danny is talking about a case he is working on and telling Damian about old adventures he had in the Ghost Zone, does he see his brother get hit with a lightbulb.

He slaps a hand against his forehead and straightens up from his swivel seat. He huffs a laugh, "Of course! Why didn't I think of it sooner?" And he turns on his heel and hurries to his bookshelf, pulling down a notebook and flipping open to an empty page.

Damian frowns, "Laeazir?"

"I know you don't like my suit, Damian," Danny says, striding over to his desk and snatching a pencil out of a cup. He begins jotting something down on the notebook. "And there's nothing I can really do about it because, well, I'm poor in comparison to my facesake, and I don't have the resources to get my hands on someone who would make me a new suit."

"Yes, we have talked about this..." Damian nods slowly, still frowning, and trying to follow his brother's line of reasoning.

Danny shoots him a megawatt, half-tilt smile, his hair tied up into a half-bun. "But! I was thinking about it from the wrong angle. I don't have the living resources to help me get a suit, but..." he trails off, staring at Damian intently.

It dinged in Damian's brain to where he was going, "But you have the undead resources instead." He says, his eyes widening slowly. Of course, of course! Danyal was ridiculously charismatic by accident, and Damian has seen plenty of times where his heart-of-gold had one or two non-hostile ghosts be incredibly grateful to him.

His brother makes a loud, 'ding-ding-ding!' sound, pointing his pencil at Damian as his smile stretches further across his face. In a few quick strides, he was sat down next to Damian and showing him his notebook. "Correct! When I first started out as Phantom a few years ago, I managed to help a ghost who called herself Taylor, and apparently she was a seamstress both in and out of life."

Damian watches as Danny writes the name at the top of the paper, and creates bullet-points down the page. "She said that in return for saving her, I should come find her in the Ghost Zone if I ever need clothes made for me. It's a one-time thing, but I was thinking that she could perhaps help make me a new suit."

Danny turns a bit pink at the ears, and rubs his neck, "I never thought much of it because I didn't think I'd ever go into the Ghost Zone, or ever need ghost clothes, so I forgot about it up until now."

A scoff forces itself out of Damian's mouth, but he is smiling. "Danyal, you are the smartest idiot I have ever met."

For the next hour, both he and Danny make a bullet point list of what both of their suits would need. Reinforcement in certain areas, gauntlets with reinforced knuckles to replace Danyal's jawbreakers. A different weapon than a bat.... a utility belt, reinforced boots. Anything they could think of.

It was Damian's idea to add a cloak to both of their suits, asymmetrical and torn at the edges for a more 'ghostly' look. They have a theme, after all. It's quite fun.

Then Danyal calls up Sam for help in drafting up design ideas. And while Danyal steps mostly to the side when it comes to the design itself, Damian and Sam fill pages with designs until coming up with one they both agreed on and like.

"What about a lightning bolt on the chest?" "Why are we using my traumatic accident as a symbol of my identity?" "Ghosts do it all the time, Danny. Ember sings about her death." "I'm not dead?" "No that won't work, Manson. Shazam already has a giant lighting bolt emblem." "Okay, but I still want to use it somewhere." "How about this?" "...That could work. Okay, now onto your emblem--"

Last was the hard part: getting into the Ghost Zone without the Fenton parents noticing the disappearance of their precious Fenton Specter Speeder. They employed Jazz's help with that. She would get the Fentons out of the house long enough for him and Danny to get into the ghost zone, hopefully find the seamstress, and cash in that favor.

They went through with their plan that following weekend. Danny tossed Damian a small jumpsuit as they both climbed into the specter speeder, but did not grab his own. He had a small duffle bag on him that he threw under the seat.

"What is this?" Damian asks, nose scrunching up at the gaudy picture of Jack Fenton's face square at the center of the chest. He held it far away from it, as if it had a disease.

"Your hazmat suit." Danny replies, settling himself into the driver's seat as the door hissed shut and he began turning it on. He had some sort of gas mask on in his lap, too small to fit Danny's head, but certainly the right size to fit Damian's. "Normally you wouldn't need it since you'd stay in the speeder, but we're both getting out once we find Taylor. It's to protect you from the ectoplasm."

A scowl forces itself across Damian's face, "You don't have one." He points out, finding seat in the passenger chair next to Danny. His arms cross over his chest, and he was not pouting.

Danny looks at him amusedly, "I have enough ectoplasm in my body that I don't need one, you however, do not." He retorts, poking a finger into Damian's ribcage pointedly. "If you don't put it on now, you'll put it on when we find Taylor."

Damian's scowl deepens, feeling petulant as he sunk into his chair. Danny turns back to the console and flips a few more switches. "I will not, it looks ridiculous." He turns it around to show Danny the Jack Fenton Face.

The Specter Speeder hums to life, and there's a moment of turbulence as it lifts off the ground. While it does, Danny turns back to him blankly, stares at the emblem, and then reaches forward and yanks it off with a scriiiiich of the emblem. He crumples it up with one hand, and throws it into a small bin at his feet.

"There, fixed." He smiles. Then turns back to the controls, taking the yoke with both hands. "And I'm calling Dad Rights; you will put it on when we find Taylor or you'll stay in the speeder."

Damian sputters, sitting up incredulously. "You are not my father." He argues.

"Teeechnically, I am." Danny says, "I'm a clone of your father, and since I am fully his clone, that makes you my son by a technicality." He says cheerfully, pushing the specter speeder forward and into the swirling green portal.

Before Damian can retort, they're passing through the portal. This was his first time going into the Ghost Zone, and for a few seconds there was nothing but bright, swirling green filling his vision. His body felt like it was being twisted and pulled, his up and down reversing and returning. It was painless, but dizzying.

It only lasts for a few seconds, but it feels like a minute, and when they exit out the other side, Damian is holding his head while his vision spots and swims. Internally, he felt like those cartoon characters when their eyeballs rolled around in their head.

The dizziness fades away slowly, and as Damian regains his sight, he notices Danny's hand splayed over his sternum, gently keeping him pressed against his seat. It fell away when Danny saw that he was alright.

"Put your seatbelt on," Danny orders, nodding to his chair. Damian listens absently, before remembering their conversation before they went through the portal.

"That is not how it works." He scowls, and, annoyingly, only gets a challenged eyebrow raise from Danny. He could see the words written on his face without Danyal ever having to say it.

Because, dangit, he was technically right. Damian refuses to say this aloud. He screws his jaw shut, and crosses his arms back across his chest.

Danny chuckles under his breath, and turns his eyes back to the ghost zone. "My point still stands, either you wear the suit, or you don't leave the speeder."

"Fine."

+++

They eventually find where the seamstress is. Through quite a lot of Danny stopping to ask questions with any friendly ghost he came across, they eventually locate an island with a strange, urban city bustling with life on it. Massive, rocky stalagmites grew from the ground, and buildings were built on top of it or around it, with strange, warping architecture.

It was oddly beautiful.

Danny parked the speeder on the side of the street with a two hour parking sign on a nearby post. As he turned off the engine, he flipped a switch on the console that darkened the windows. He unbuckles his seat, and stood up, stretching out his back with a deep groan.

"Alright, put your suit on. The windows are tinted, so nobody should be able to see into the speeder." He orders, pulling out the duffle he brought in earlier and unzipping it. He pulls out his hockey mask and the hoodie he wore out for patrol, and the notebook they'd been using to jot down ideas for their suit.

Danny even had the hindsight to write in their respective heights, and with Tucker's help, some of their measurements. While he did that, Damian sourly pulled on his hazmat suit, irritated by the need to wear it.

Unfortunately, he also had to wear the boots and gloves for 'extra precaution'. Damian nearly bites out a grumpy 'you're as paranoid as father', but holds his tongue. He wasn't going to tell Danyal that secret.

Once he was done and Danny has his hockey mask and hoodie on, Danny grabs the gas mask and helps fit it over Damian's face. It was a sleek, simple design, shaped similarly to a regular face mask, with little filters on both sides of the mouth and a clear, protective covering around the eyes and forehead. Danyal improved it from the original his parents made.

He was smarter than he gave himself credit for.

Danny checks, then double checks that it the mask is tight, then smiles. Patting Damian's shoulders before standing up fully. "Taylor's shop should be somewhere nearby." He says, grabbing the notebook and tucking it under his arm.

Damian nods, and follows him out the door and onto the busy streets.

Finding Taylor becomes remarkably quick now that they were inside her city - something that Damian silently wondered was based loosely off NYC. Danny kept a firm arm around Damian's shoulders the entire time they walked down the street, keeping the both of them on the inside sidewalk.

Barely anyone passed them a second glance, spare the few odd looks shot at Damian. Danny whispers to him the first time it happens that it's because he has no ghost core, those more attune to their signatures might've been picking up on it.

They didn't notice Danny, because he had one, albeit a weak one.

Taylor's shop has a big sign on it in logographic writing that Damian has no idea how to read. The text shifts slowly, a jambled squiggle of lines, dots, and connected curves that look like a mix of messy cursive, gibberish, and logographic alphabets. He only knows its Taylor's shop because Danny pulls them towards it, stating that it was the place.

"You can read that?" He asks, incredulous as they draw closer to the door. Danny moves his arm off his shoulder, and wraps his fingers around Damian's instead.

"Yep," He replies, then scrunches his nose up, "sort of. It's - uh--" he stumbles over a word that Damian's ears cannot comprehend, but fills his head with slight static regardless. Danny winces. "It's the written form of ghostspeak, but since I'm not a ghost, I can only read some of it. Like uh, dyslexia."

"...I see." Damian says after a moment of silence, trying to replay the word in his head. His mind can't grasp the sound.

When they enter, the door doesn't ding with the sound of a bell, but rather it makes a low scream. Nobody bats an eye to the sound, keeping to their slow search through the racks of clothes.

At the counter was a woman talking quietly to another woman, one of whom Danny recognizes, as he walks over to her.

He doesn't need to say anything, because the woman behind the counter sees him coming, and her face positively lights up with delight. "Phantom!" She cries, and gestures to come over. "I was wondering when in the high ancients you were going to come see me!"

Danny's face is obscured by his mask, but Damian knows he's smiling sheepishly with the way he tilts his head and the way he tenses his shoulders. "My bad, Miss Taylor," he says, reaching the counter and standing beside the woman she was talking to, "It kinda... slipped my mind."

Taylor waves her hand dismissively, "Well you are here now!" She replies, grinning wide. Then her eyes pop open - literally - and she puts a hand over her chest. "Oh, how rude of me!" She turns and gestures between Phantom and the lady next to him, "Miss Mabam, this is Phantom. I told you about him a couple of years ago. He saved me from humans. Phantom, this is Gigi Mabam, she funds my shop. In return I make clothes for her and her staff."

The 'Gigi' woman turns just as Danny does, and smiles wide at him. Damian narrows his eyes at her, shuffling behind Danny legs as he looked her up and down. She had silvery-white hair and purple skin, and wore a darker purple business suit, a red gem cravat at her collar, and teal cat-eye glasses.

There was a lot of purple.

"So this is the ghost-touched you were telling me about, dear!" The woman, Mabam, said. Her voice was rich and low but she spoke in a whimsical cadence. It made Damian's skin crawl, and his narrowed eyes turned into a glare. "I must thank you for saving my seamstress, it would've been quite a fizzy-wink if she had been lost to those ghosty hunters."

What were those nonsense words? Damian hated it.

"Miss Mabam here runs a five-star hotel nearby," Taylor explains, her body turned to Danny, "she also is in charge of the city's Battle Nexus."

Danny is silent for a moment, and his free hand lifts and places itself on the back of Damian's head, keeping him close. "Battle Nexus...?"

Mabam claps cheerfully, laughing low, "Oh yes! Ghosts from all around the zone come to attend and watch as their fellow haunties are ripped from limbity-limb in a blood-curdling battle!"

Danny is still as stone. "I see." He says, careful. Damian wraps his fingers around his pant leg. "Well, I hate to interrupt your conversation, but I was hoping to cash in that favor, Miss Taylor?"

"Of course! What do you need?"

Danny looks down at Damian, and he looks up at him, locking eyes with the ominous green glowing from the eyeslits of his mask. He nods, and Danny looks back up. "Do you know how to make suits? Of the protective kind?"

+++

The seamstress it turns out, is capable of such a thing. And she ushers the both of them into one of the backrooms, sending off Mabam with a farewell and a promise to continue their conversation soon.

She flips through their design book, and immediately gets to work making their suits. In the end, with the help of her powers, she gets both done over the span of four hours. It's longer than both Danny and Damian want, but neither rush her.

Damian just hopes that Jasmine can keep the Fenton parents distracted for that long. She will have to.

The suits are better in real life than on paper, and Damian preens from the side in his own custom suit as Danny examines his own in front of the three mirrors. They were both dressed in all black, but whatever fabric Taylor used was of a blackest-black, turning Danyal - and Damian's - bodies into a black hole to look at. Both of them were fitted for agility, with reinforced padding around their shoulders and chests, as well as around the joints of their legs. Their boots were reinforced as well.

("It was hard to make your boots shock absorbent," Taylor explains, "since we all fly, but I applied similar stuff to what I did with your shoulders and chestplate.")

On the side of Danyal's legs were raised, black, lichtenberg-like figures that were contained to the seams and disappeared under his boots. There were similar designs going up his sleeves, with spiked gauntlets wrapped around his lower arm and hands. The knuckles were reinforced, just like he wanted.

Damian's favorite parts were their capes, however. Black like the rest of the outfit, but "wrapped" around their shoulders like an apocalyptic shawl with a back that went down to their knees, and at the hems the capes were torn and ripped like a wraith. Danyal's mask had gone through very little change. It was made of a stronger material, and Taylor had gone and made it more skull-like in its shape, with three large grills at the front, and the sides curving inward below the 'cheekbones' of the skull to better fit his face. It was still shock white, the only white part of Danyal's entire costume.

Damian's suit was almost identical. However, rather than having the seams of his suit resemble lichtenberg figures, the seams of his sleeves and upper torso were that of a black skeleton, with bone-y designs over his gauntlets and the fingers an ombre of dark red-to-black. And around his torso were raised lines that looked similar to a ribcage. The edge of his cloak was splatter a dark red as well. And he had a new domino mask that looked similar to the upper half of Danyal's mask, with the outer edges curved downward over his cheekbones. He was briefly allowed to take off the upper part of his gas mask to try on the mask.

The best part however, was that since the suits were made of material native to the ghost zone, they could also be taken off quickly and hidden in a small artifact. It was magic, is what it was. Danyal chose earrings, and Damian chose a ring.

When they got back to the Fenton house, Jazz demands a box of chocolate for her hard work. Damian thinks that's only fair as Danny takes them both out to get candy for Jazz.

+++

But other than vigilante stuff, not else much changes. Danny gets to pull a "Dad By Technicality Rule" card over Damian when he's being a brat. Danny doesn't have his run in with Rift (a ghost who portals him into Gotham) until after he meets Damian/lets Damian join him on patrol and when they get new suits.

My reason? Because I want it to happen after that point in time lol. It also makes the eventual "heyyyyy you have a clone" @ bruce much funnier to me because not only does he have a clone of HIMSELF but also THAT clone has a clone of Damian living with him.

Also when Danny destabilizes for the first time Damian is terrified for his safety. The fentons are surprisingly good at cloning, Danny hasn't had any issues up until this point in time, and that's only because he got hit with a new gun from Skulker that messed up the ectoplasm he had in his dna, which in term fucked with his own DNA.

Danny's destabilization, imo, is not "I cast you with Melt" he's not Ellie, he's not made of 50% ectoplasm. His parents surprisingly knew what they were doing, and he was human. So his destabilization should be unique to himself and different. Thus his destabilization is "I cast you with Compromised Immune System" his body slowly weakens over time as his cells destabilize. He becomes unnaturally frail and sick. Damian calls Ellie for help when Danny doesn't get up after being hit in a fight that he normally, and Ellie helps figure out that he's destabilizing. This is whats gonna happen in OG clone au too, but Ellie is going to be there rather than Damian.

It makes going to Wayne Manor after that slightly more interesting,,,

[flamboyant-king]

— SHIP QUESTIONS (but I just filled them all out anyway)

Herb and Clover!

When I’m sad, I do ship memes to feel better. These are based on headcanons and AUs I have yet I hide. Sorry, I’m making yall see this, but I like sharing my ideas even when I can’t draw them hgjkdf (sorry mobile users i think)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet? While Herb was still serving in the army, he was trying to give one of his troopmates first aid in a burning town. Clover appeared at the top of the cliff after exiting the forest. The burning town terrified him, he wanted to run back into the forest, but he knew whoever was down there needed help. So at the top of the cliff he let loose a healing melody, hoping it would help. The music overtook the sounds of chaos as the notes fell upon those suffering below. The wounds of the soldier slightly fade away from Herb’s troopmate’s side. The pain becoming bearable and the man calming down. Herb bandaged him up and someone else carried him to safety. Herb told them to go on without him as he looked up at the cliff. Wherever that music came from, he is grateful. But they first really met in Herb’s garden hehe

What was their first impression of each other? Herb: The melody is enchanting. Tranquil and yet melancholic. There is a literal goddess in my garden. I don’ know what to do, but I should say hello, I think? Clover: He looks...so familiar...

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together? The bar squad just gave each other look everytime they see Herb and Clover hanging out. Like, “Are they dating because they should???” After observation from Milennial Tree and Wind archer, they think Herb is the perfect suit to watch over their little Clover.

Who felt romantic feelings first? Herb felt them first. Almost immediate love at first sight. He immediately wanted to see Clover again and invited him to come to his garden every morning. Just the two of them every morning in a place only for them. The thought of this made him so embarrassed and giddy. Clover also smelled like grass, so even if he wasn’t in his garden, his “safespace,” just being by Clover made him feel at home. Clover still had lingering feelings for Shamrock when he spent time with Herb. Only after did it grow out of that and went for just falling for Herb himself.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings? Clover tried to resist only because he didn’t want to fall for Herb because he reminded him of Shamrock. He didn’t want to do that to him. But when he realized that he was in fact just falling for Herb because he’s Herb did he let it happen.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? Herb: It does feel like fate to see you again. Clover: I don’t want to keep thinking back to him, but if reincarnation is real...No...No I shouldn’t think like that.

What would their lives be like if they had never met? Herb would be lonely all by himself in his little garden. Clover would still be traveling with nowhere else to return home to.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go? It just happened naturally. Slowly getting closer. Spending every morning together, turned into afternoon, and into nights, and just spending every waking moment together. They didn’t even need to say anything or ask each other out, they just knew how comfortable it was to be with each other that they wanted to stay that way.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like? The first time it felt like an actual date was when Clover invited Herb to a little private concert in the woods. Herb offered to bring picnic supplies. They walked through the forest until they could find a nice spot to settle on. They crossed over a stream on a fallen tree. Clover slipped on the moss and fell to the side but Herb jumped to catch him. Waded through the ankle deep water so fast to make sure Clover didn’t get wet, because “walking around in a soggy skirt seems uncomfortable.” Herb was holding Clover in his arms and Clover just looked at him. Thinking. Admiring. Clover wrapped his arms around Herb’s neck and stayed there. They both “soaked”  in the moment before Herb stood Clover back on the log. Clover didn’t let go of his hand. Herb was his support for the rest of the tree. But even after they were past the stream, they didn’t let go of each other’s hands.

What was their first kiss like? It felt right. All the days leading up to it felt like they could have kissed just right there. They greeted each other the same each morning. Clover groggily walked into the garden and gave Herb’s apron a tug. Herb turned to Clover with a smile. He just had to lean in naturally and it was done. They held it for a few seconds. Herb pulled away then it struck what he just did. “Clover, I’m so sorry! That came out of nowhere. I should’ve asked or s-something.” Clover looked at him still processing what had happened, then his face turned pink. They both just stood there embarrassed before Clover asked for another.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)? They were each other’s first relationship. Clover has been in love many times before but was always afraid to make it official knowing he would outlive them. Herb isn’t the social type, it was actually Sparkling that approached him and forced him into familiarity. But Herb never went out of his way to get to know someone enough to start dating.

What’s their height difference? Age difference? Clover’s at the perfect height to peek over Herb’s shoulder. Clover ages slowly, so a 100 years it he equivalent of a human year of growth. So clover started slowly aging after 18 years, now he’s 700+ years thus making his body 25 years old. Herb is 26 hehoo.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families? Clover’s family is lost to time. He doesn’t know who his real parents are and his adoptive parents died centuries ago. Herb admires Milennial Tree and he’s friendly with Wind Archer. Clover is also familiar with Sea Fairy through Milennial Tree.

Who takes the lead in social situations? Herb is usually one who tries to blend in with the background and slip away from social situations, yet he’s very approachable. He uses Clover to mellow out social situations, and Clover is very talkative and friendly. So by having Clover there, Herb can direct everyone’s attention away from him and onto Clover.

Who gets jealous easier? Clover likes all of Herb’s friends, but Herb does get a bit jealous when he sees Clover hanging out with them. He’s keeping his eye on Mint Choco even though he knows Mint Choco and Cocoa are dating. Irrational Jealousy.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear? Clover’s got good ears so Herb would whisper so quietly that no one but Clover can actally hear him even if it’s not directly in his ear. So Clover is the one who would tend to whisper in Herb’s ear. However, since Clover’s ears are so sensitive, Herb whispering in them would tickle. Herb would use that to his advantage sometimes. He isn’t one to dirty talk, but when they do get uhhh dirty, he loves to see Clover shudder when he brushes his lips against his ear and breathe compliments to him.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first? Clover would say I love you in ways without using those words, through poems, music, gestures, and actions. So Herb would say “I love you” first but Clover said it first.

What are their primary love languages? Hugs! Clover likes to sit in Herb’s lap and Herb would rub his head.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines? Clover is more poetic so he wouldn’t use cheesy pick up lines. Herb would research some bad ones and tell them to Clover, though. Just to make him laugh.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA? All the time. As often as they could. Whenever they’re in the vicinity of each other.

Who initiates kisses? Clover! He looks up at Herb with pleading eyes that Herb knows to bend over and give him a peck on the lips. And Clover would sometimes just wrap his arms around Herb’s neck to hold him there a bit longer.

Who’s the big and little spoon? Clover’s the little spoon. He loves being surrounded in Herb. Herb just holds little plants so often, of course he’d keep Clover in his arms.

What are their favorite things to do together? Gardening, of course.

Who’s better at comforting the other? Clover has more comforting words to offer, but Herb’s hugs are just what Clover needs to feel safe.

Who’s more protective? Herb! It’s his instinct to protect the smaller things. Like plants, animals, Clover.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection? Despite all the words they can say to each other, physical touch speaks real volumes. Just laying together is a whole romance novel.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzQcU45t2mctSxvM0JpOG3UCzxQVMAGsB

What kind of nicknames do they call each other? Honey...because Bees. *badumtss*

Who remembers the little things? Clover never forgets.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes? Herb would. He would make the ring himself in the Jewelry shop. The proposal wouldn’t be flashy even. It would happen where they have always been. Alone in Herb’s garden. Clover sitting on his stool strumming his lute and Herb would walk over and kneel down. Take Clover’s hand into his and say “I have something to give you--” and he’d open the ring. “--the rest of my life.” (Adding context to the answer, they’ve talked about it before how Clover would outlive him and Herb feeling insecure about being just a chapter in Clover’s life. Shamrock being the prologue pssh. But Herb was just like “I would love you for the rest of my life. I just hope I become more than just a story you tell.”)

What’s the wedding like? Who attends? The wedding would be in the forest! Mystical and Magical. All the animals would be invited and everyone in the kingdom. Sparkling, of course running the bar. Mint Choco and Clover would have a little performance. Gingerbrave gets to be the ring bearer! Milennial Tree never gets tired of weddings so he’s crying. Wind Archer is the priest just because. It’s like a Disney movie or some shit.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like? No kids, only plants and funny woodland critters that visit. Although, Cookiesnap requires their combined attention.

Do they have any pets? Cookiesnap?

Who’s the stricter parent? Herb! Gotta make sure Cookiesnap doesn’t eat any of the other cookies. Clover would usually just play with Cookiesnap.

Who worries the most? Herb! Clover can be a bit airheaded and wander around into danger. But also, since Clover is sickly, Herb has to carry him around.

Who kills the bugs in the house? No kill, just relocate.

How do they celebrate holidays? They always go out and travel. Always away but still together.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning? Clover! Herb is a very early bird. Herb would wake up and see Clover cozily lying on his chest, head burried in his neck. Herb would kiss his forehead and try to go back to sleep. But he would just lay there and relish in the moment.

Who’s the better cook? Herb, even though they both fucking eat dirt, Herb has more experience cooking with actual ingredients.

Who likes to dance? Both! Although, it’s hard to dance together when one of them is playing the music. So when Clover is playing music, Herb dances with the flowers, but when they dance together, Clover sings as Herb hums.

[navyhyuck]

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𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐄𝐃, 𝐉𝐀𝐘.

↳ a love letter a week, and it has you wondering who’s your secret admirer. you have nine weeks, eight candidates, and one story to live. will you find out who your ‘jay’ is?

a/n :: hi guys it’s finally here!! this is an introduction sorta prologue type chapter here, and i, uh, apologize for the length but anyway, please enjoy and stay tuned for more! :) update :: repost because tumblr hates me

wc :: 1.6k

taglist: @childofthecycle @takoyakkun @the8luvr @staywrites

let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

“That’s the new kid? Shit—he’s kind of hot.”

You’re caught off guard by Ryujin’s confession, the usual slam of her locker faltering as you lean back on your heels, giving her a raised eyebrow. She’s not looking your way, however, her usually bored eyes watching an unfamiliar face stroll down the hallway; your best friend’s gaze isn’t the only one he’s getting. It wasn’t, especially eyeing him from the button-down shirt he has lazily tucked into his jeans to the clack on his dark shoes on the tiles—he had your mouth practically dropping open at the sight.

You’re absolutely sure, you realize as he walks out of sight—the only thing marking his past presence being the cling to his neck jewelry, that you’ve never seen someone walk through those halls with a fashion sense as exceptional as his. Though you’re shaken out of your trance by the girl next to you, a low chuckle leaves her as you blink back into the present.

“What’d I say?” She tests, wiggling her eyebrows in a way that makes you roll your eyes, turning towards your locker to open it. “He’s hot, right? Like not a jock sort of hot but more like a, oh! Like one of those anime guys that loves the girl but sort of wants to kill her, that kinda hot. You know?”

“...Right.”

“And he’s got a nice face too, don’t you think?” Ryujin adds slyly, a smirk spreading across her lips as you wince at her choice of words. “Plus he’s on the swim team apparently, at least from what I heard this morning. It’s kinda hard to believe it too, that you know, someone with better fashion sense than Han Jisung’s entered the school. And well, anyone other than Jisung is the one for me.” She ends off dramatically, leaning against the lockers with her eyes staring up at the ceiling as if they had the answers to the next calculus test on it.

The boy’s swim team, well, you could possibly call them the pride and joy of the school; from the way every bleacher is filled with a packed audience, they make a more entertaining group than the football team (which we don’t talk about, not ever since Lee Taeyong’s senior rebellion against the sophomore class for sabotaging the homecoming game). It would be a lie if you were to say you’d never gone to one of their many meets and watched them take every lap as if it was nothing on their shoulders—if anything, you give them the credit they deserve. Though it’s common for everyone to have a favorite from the team as well—from the current top (and most popular) seven—you never personally decided on one. If you had to pick, you’d be conflicted till your last day on the earth.

First, is Lee Minho, the captain of the swim team. It’s easy to tell why he’s a school favorite, considering the athletic drive he’s had since his days in elementary school and the contributions he’s made since his freshman year, but most importantly because of his spirit. The previous year, he single handedly took the team to the county championships with his skills in freestyle and backstroke—though he won first prize for freestyle—and earned the highest title yet. Because of that, the annual argument on the team captain had even been unofficially cancelled this year because of the coach’s final (and best) choice; no one had dared to say Minho didn’t deserve the role.

Next, is Bang Chan, the team’s best diver. You don’t know too much about swimming, the only facts being the ones you derived from watching countless meets beside your friends, but you’re certain you’ve never seen a diver better than him. The only other thing about him is that he has the hearts of everyone melting at any given time, the dimpled smiles he gives with every loss or win being the one that somehow channels energy each time. He’s also seen as the most optimistic, mainly for his cheesy cheers before meets actually start, and as the one with the most charisma.

After that, is Seo Changbin. If there’s one thing about him that the entire population comments on, it’s that resting bitch face he holds throughout the school day and practically anytime he’s not swimming. It seems like it changes completely when his skin touches the water, maybe it’s as magical as a mermaid, but it’s also how he manages to speed through 500 yards without a few pants of exhaust at the end. He’s always one to keep going, until past the breaking point.

Next, is Han Jisung, the team’s designated popular member. He’s Ryujin’s favorite (and it’s ridiculously obvious, regardless of how hard she attempts to hide it) as well as many others, clearly being yet another contributing factor to his popularity. But he’s not just popular for the sake of it, he’s also quite famous for his sleek backstroke. Being a dream it is to some to see Jisung swimming competitively in the evening on Friday, you’ve even seen some take advantage of the situation by taking snapshots. You don’t like to think what he might think of strangers taking pictures of him in a bathing suit, however.

After him, is Kim Seungmin. Maybe you could call him another school favorite, but he isn’t nearly as ‘famous’ as his counterpart, though you might be one to advocate for his backstroke over Jisung’s. He’s also known for his impeccable grades, rocketing higher than most of the students in the school and even placing him in the top 5% of the school. Not only is he a stellar athlete, but he’s got the A’s as well. (You can expect him to be a teacher’s favorite, too.)

Next, is Lee Felix, the team’s best individual medley swimmer. Out of everyone on the team, he’s known as the one and only to exhibit some of the best technique (he was even complimented on the local news, and your heart had almost stopped just seeing the pretty boy on your TV). He’s also on the dance team, the captain too, though he’s more well known for his skills in the water. You can guess that there are a handful that come to watch him dance as well.

Lastly, is Yang Jeongin. A junior, actually, but with a skill set much farther than of his age. He’s a bit cute as well, with a shy sort of persona that usually had people awing for him through his sophomore year, and it still hasn’t gotten out of your mind even after a year. He is, after all, a fantastic 200 yard racer, being able to snatch a medal at almost every meet.

Adding another swimmer to the team is common, but something tells you that the case of this boy walking through the halls of your school might make him a bit more than just another person joining the team. The aura he gave off, startling everyone in his way with nothing more than a simple walk down the hallway—it’s nothing, but it seems like much more than that. Perhaps, you’d even get to learn his name one day.

You snap out of your daydream with a smack from Ryujin, the girl nagging at you to hurry up; your hand grazes past the lock on your locker, filling in the combination before tugging violently at the metal until it gives away. Instinctively, you reach your hand in blindly for your books, but there’s a fluttering feeling on your arm as you glance back, confused. A neat envelope had fallen from above, probably having been stuffed into the top not too long ago, and a questioning hum leaves you.

“What’s this?” You say to yourself, mumbling underneath your breath as you turn it over in your hand, your finger tracing over the colorful washi tape placed on the borders. It’s decorated with stickers, all the way until your name is written in a bright blue. The last letter of your name branches off into a flower, one that leads all the way to the back, where there’s a stick over the flap that reads ‘open here’ in small font.

Might as well read it now.

dear y/n love,

i hope you’ve received this safely, and if you haven’t, i genuinely apologize! i’d say it’s not my wrongdoing, which of course it is, but you also have no clue who i am! hopefully. unless you saw me put this in your locker, but i really hope you didn’t. i’d be quite embarrassed if you did, so please just maybe, don’t tell anyone if you did? yeah, thank you in advance.

anyway, hi! i’ll call myself jay for the time being. hmm, just so i can stay anonymous! i wouldn’t want to reveal myself to you just yet. or hopefully, not at all, but i think i’ll eventually open up to the idea of confessing. oh, yeah, sorry i didn’t mention. i’m jay and i’m in love with you.

okay, that sounds pretty aggressive and a little arrogant but i promise i’m not!!! i just don’t have any extra letter paper to write on or else i wouldn’t even be writing the rest of this. okay, okay, i’m sorry. back to the main point. so, i guess you can call me your secret admirer or whatever, but anyway, i like you. like more than a friend, like you, but i’m too scared to tell you so therefore, here we are. expect to hear from me in the near future ;)

signed, jay

[luna-the-moth]

Obey Me! Headcanon Game

Soo...I found this through a discord channel, so let’s get to it shall we? (Prepare to read a long ass questionnaire)

OG link (Credit to cerise_noire8 on Twitter)

(Made on Picrew)

1 • What is your MC’s name? What is their name origin? What does it mean (if it ever has a meaning).

Ayano Miasako. Not any explanation for that yet.  Her mentor, Cleo calls her “Aya” Nickname in the mafia was “Silver”

2. When is their birthday? How old are they? What about their zodiac sign? (bonus point if you give their rising or even their birth/natal chart)

February 23    23-25.        Capricorn

3.  What is your MC’s gender? And what are their sexual/romantic preferences?

Female.  Bisexual

4. What is your MC’s race? (human, demon, angel, other). If human, what are their nationality and origins?

Ayano’s human with a relation as Lilith’s descendant. Ayano’s half Japanese/Korean. She was born in Kyoto and was raised in the mafia. 

5. Before coming to Devildom, what was their occupation? (job, studies...)

She was a mafioso until age 20, when she left. As a compensation for leaving, she has to wire the boss a certain amount of money per year. Ayano has a penthouse in Tokyo with her cat, Luci. She now works as a business tycoon, and wins most of her money from gambling and business investments. Ayano has a degree in anthropology and psychology

Ayano in the Mafia

6 • Height? Weight? Describe their body type.

Ayano’s 5’6 (167cm).   She’s around 140 lbs or 64kg.  Ayano has a medium-large bust, an hourglass figure, and decent sized ass

7. Who is/are your MC’s love interest(s) (if they ever have one). Summarise their dynamic.

Mammon, her protective Tsundere. Or Satan, the sly and intelligent bookworm trying to find his true self. She’s the ultimate tease to Mammon, knowing he likes her but is waiting for him to make a move. Mammon ends up flustered. She and Satan try to out-flirt each other with cheesy pickup lines and are often seen sitting next to each other in a loveseat, with tea and a good book. Satan calls her kitten, Ayano calls him her knight in shining armor (jokingly.) Mammon calls her “my lucky charm” Ayano calls him “blackjack,” but prefers calling all the boys by their names.

8 • Does your MC have any specific appearance features? (Scars, marks, anything else)

Ayano has various scars from her time in the mafia. She has 2 prominent stab wounds on her upper back from a betrayal. A yakuza tatoo on her hip. Plus a medium slash scar on her stomach. She got two black feathered wing tattoos on them to represent her freedom from the mafia. Ayano has heterochromatic eyes, left green, right purple. Usually wears a green contact over the purple to hide it. She also has distaichis (double lash layers). Jet black, waist length hair, pale-snow white skin. She usually sports this outfit 

Wears a new type of nail art every 1-2 weeks depending on her mood. Lovesss jewelry

9 • Does your MC have any disabilities? (physical, mental health, etc). How do they deal with it?

Depression and anxiety. Solution: do a Lucifer and does anything and everything to keep her mind occupied. She also makes friends with cheerful people

10 • How do you imagine your MC’s voice? Describe it.

Medium pitch, smooth, lulling voice. Has a slight new york accent even though she’s never been there (taught by Cleo) Mostly formal in public and swears every so often. (she refrains from doing so around Luke). Her singing voice is very powerful, has a wide range of pitches, and can enchant many. 

11 • Does your MC have any tattoos or piercings? Just tell us more about it!

2 black wings on her stab wounds on her back. A yakuza tattoo on her hip. A normal piercing on both ears with a few helix piercings as well

12 • Describe their clothing style (if they have a favorite style). Do they have specific accessories? 

Bonus question: how do they wear RAD uniform?

Ayano’s fashion style is fashionista, dark fashionista, occasionally gothic/elegant lolita. Loves leather and silver. She often wears a silver necklace gifted (stolen?) from her mentor, with her mother’s silver ring hanging from it. Fingerless, black leather gloves. Usually wears a ring on her right hand, middle finger. Ayano wears the RAD uniform properly, with a red tie, black jeggings, and thigh-high black boots.

The redesigned RAD uniform

13 • Is your MC able to use magic? If so, are they skilled? How do they learn? Were they able to use it before coming to Devildom?

Yes, when she came to the Devildom, Solomon decided to teach her to hone her skills. In the human world, when really pissed, light bulbs would burst in her presence. Ayano learns quickly, so yes, she became skilled in a small time frame. She’s fond of enchanted jewelry (because they are pretty and have practicality)

14 • Describe your MC’s parents (names, jobs, personalities). Do they have any siblings? What is their relationship with their family?

Ayano’s mother, Kyoko (japanese) was dead while Ayano was very young. Her real father is unknown besides the fact that he was a ‘korean bastard’ from her stepfather. She despises her step father (the feeling’s mutual) and ran away from home at age 13. Ayano has an older (3-4) brother. At age 20, they reconnected and have a good, stable relationship.

15 • How many language do they speak? Which ones?

Ayano can read/speak: Japanese, English, Korean, Latin, Spanish, and French

16 • What is their relationship with each brothers?

Lucifer - fondness, cautious, interest - mixed feelings. Ayano isn’t fond of some of his methods, but recognizes his change throughout the program. She thinks he cares a lot for his brothers and respects that. Lucifer is glad that Ayano is well-mannered and courteous, but is suspicious on her relations to Solomon. Although she’ll never admit it, sometimes Ayano goes into his study with tea and a light dessert for him.

Mammon - Affectionate, loving, warmth, protectiveness. Ayano thinks Mammon as someone very dear to her, so she is protective of him. He’s a possible love interest, and Ayano likes teasing and flirting when he shows his Tsundere side. Mammon thinks that she’s his lucky charm, and loves bringing her to the casino with him, to show off, and to brag. He always becomes flustered when she teases him, but revels in it.

Levi - Ayano thinks Levi should have more confidence, and is gentle with him. Playing rpg or strategy games with him is a pastime of Ayano’s, Levi is slightly scared of her skills in that aspect. Since Ayano can also mimic voices well, he begs her to make Ruri-chan impersonations and such. 

Asmo - Fun, flirty, and thrilling. At first, Ayano thought he was a narcissistic, vain bastard. Which is partially true tbh. When she started doing various makeup looks, that’s when Asmo started to bond with her. The two love messing with various skincare, haircare, makeup, and fashion items. On Fridays, they have a self-care night, with Mammon occasionally bursting in. 

Satan- Was suspicious of him, noticing his mask and seeing through it right away. After noting that he is lost inside, she warms up to him and bonds with him over her cat, Luci, tea, and their shared love of crime novels. Satan was also suspicious of her at the beginning, but after she warmed up to them and slowly started revealing herself, they gradually started drifting closer. They can sometimes be seen reading together with tea and biscuits. 

Bee l- Ayano absolutely adores Beel. She thinks of him as a giant teddy bear and knew he was genuine from the start. Ayano stress-bakes and experiments with recipes from time to time, and asks Beel to taste test them. Beel was glad she apologized and started warming up to her after the custard incident. He loves her baking, and is fond of her, as they take a jog/work out together sometimes.

Belphie - Complicated. She doesn’t care for Belphie. Yes, she wanted to free him, only because she hates feeling trapped as well and disliked Lucifer’s choice of punishment. The fact he changed so quickly after finding out about Lilith made her dislike him even more. However for the boys’ sake, she is cordial to him. Belphie just *wants her to like him dammit*

17 • What is their relationship with each side characters?

Diavolo-  Ayano likes Diavolo, not only is he a powerful ruler, he is a right and just one as well. Sometimes, if he asks, she’ll sing human world songs to him during tea with Barbatos. Ayano thinks of him as a kind man with *so many goddam secrets hidden inside.* Diavolo likes that Ayano entertains him on the human world, and is well-mannered and playful. He’s very interested on trying various exotic human world recipes as well.

Luke- She thinks of Luke as a chihuahua, or a little kid. Harmless and adorable. Ayano likes teasing Luke and baking sweets with him. He thinks of her as an older sister, and loves having her attention.

Solomon - During her time in the mafia, around age 20, she went and stopped by an under-hyped bar. She was really pissed that day, as one of her subordinates almost had everyone killed. So, she decided to buy some whiskey and find a hookup to relieve stress. After flirting and chatting with Solomon for an hour or so, they went back to her place.....In the morning, she woke up a bit early, slightly nauseous, but mostly ok. Solomon was still asleep at the time. After preparing some korean hangover soup, she went back to her room, only to find a signed note and Solomon's number. Ayano and Solomon are pretty much friends with benefits. They’re playful and mischievous, and sometimes stop by each other’s rooms at night for-...Anyways, Ayano has taken for Solomon and would do it again. Solomon thinks Ayano as an admirable person and interesting, so he sticks by her. You can see them at a casino, getting drinks, and watching Ayano’s insane luck wins her her hundreds of thousand at the end of the night.

Simeon- Ayano doesn’t trust Simeon, as he doesn’t really seem like an angel and is shady. After the play and seeing him being ruthless, she distances herself even more from him. Simeon wishes she would be closer with him, but is glad that Luke bonds with her.

Barbatos- You cannot convince her otherwise that Barbatos is not Sebastian Michaelis’ twin Oftentimes, she will help him around the kitchen or garden,, enjoying his company. Barbatos is glad that Ayano can help out, but keeps an eye on her due to her past. Very relieved she has good manners in public though. They both teach Luke to bake sweets, and are protective over him.

18 • What is your MC’s main hobbies and passions?

Hobbies: Reading, throwing knives, composing/listening/singing music, baking, food tasting, playing with cats, drinking wine, sketching/painting, gambling, and gardening. She is obsessed with Cerberus, and loves taking him for walks.

19 • Why do they ended up in Devildom in the first place? What happened to them?

Ayano made a deal with a business man (Barbatos) to go to Siberia for a year in order to make a demonology/mythology film, she was supposed to travel to Siberia when she fell asleep on the plane, to wake up in RAD. This isn’t too weird from what she’s experienced before, so she thought it would be an interesting and worthwhile experience. After all, she can’t really fight back against demons, so acceptance is the only option.

20 • What is your MC’s MBTI type?

Unknown. Ayano is more of a quiet extrovert. A great people person, but seems a tad cool and aloof at first. She’s very polite and all, but never let’s people in due to trust issues. Very perceptive and emotionally intelligent. Ayano was able to pick up on the boys’ true colors within a short time span. Is very intelligent and can offer worthwhile theories and conversations. To the people she loves, she is most like a lazy cat, affectionate, playful, and teasing. 

21 • Do they have pact with each bro? Do they often use their pacts? In which situations?

Has pacts with all the brothers except for Belphegor. She cares for the brothers, and refuses to use the pacts in any way, shape, or form.

22 • What is their favorite place in Devildom?

Madam Screams, the royal library, the roof of the HoL, or the beach Diavolo made.

23 • Which sin fit them the most?

Wrath, she’s very much like Satan

24 • Describe their personality.

Constantly tries to analyze a person's every move. Keeps a polite mask on. She tries her best to stay calm in most situations and to find a way out. However, she is incredibly sadistic to people who have wronged her, preferring to use psychological torture. Often uses dark humor and keeps a knowing smile on her face. Tries to find a logical solution to every problem and is melodramatic around the people she cares about. She will tease you to oblivion and is a very playful character when you get to know her. Much like a cat, she is affectionate and likes to play around, sometimes flirtatious.  She’s a total sweetheart when you get to truly know her though. Ayano however, is also very reasonable and knows when she's fucked up. For example, when Beel freaked out over the custard. She ordered 20 cups of custard from Madam Scream's that night for the next day. Ayano then presented it to him the next afternoon, offering her sincerest apologies. When she trusts someone, they have her absolute loyalty. She will guard their lives with hers and would take a bullet for them If they break her trust tho, they're pretty much dead to her and even though she is polite to them, they will never be close with her again. When she falls for someone, she falls hard. Loyalty is of upmost importance to Ayano.

25 • What is their moral alignment?

Chaotic Neutral. Ayano doesn’t really follow the law, but has a clear set of morals and a bottom line.

26 • Does your MC possess an object/something especially dear to their heart?

A silver necklace from her mentor, with a silver ring that belonged to her mother hanging from it.

27 • Which character(s) do they consider as their best friend(s)?

Solomon, Satan, and Mammon.

28 • Choose a song that fits your MC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4eaMfUtynM&list=RDMM&index=29

Dirty by Grandson

29 • What are your MC’s religious beliefs?

Agnostic, she thought something was out there. Hell though, was a surprise.

30 • Describe what is inside your MC’s school bag.

Books, sketchpad, pencils, pens, textbooks, compact mirror, and a switchblade - just in case

31 • Describe their appearance (pic refs are ofc allowed).

Snow-pale skin. She has jet black, waist length slightly wavy hair in a side part, heterachromatic eyes - left green right purple. Wears a green contact over the purple in public. 5’6 or 168 cm tall. medium bust and hourglass figure with multiple miscellaneous scars on her legs and arms (7-8) from bullet/stab wounds. 2 prominent stab wounds on her lower back. 5'8. 

22 • What is your MC’s greatest fear?

Losing another person she cares about, surprisingly enough, she gets attached faster than one would think.

33 • Is your MC Lilith’s descendant? If yes, how did they react when they learn about it?

Yes, tbh Ayano wasn’t surprised. If Lilith lived that long ago, than ⅓ of the population are her descendants. What makes her so special?

34 • Do they have a pet/animal? 

Yes, a calico cat with blue eyes named Luci, 4 years old.

35 • What are their grades like? (In Devildom)

Top 5 students in class. Usually second or third to Satan and Lucifer. Ayano absorbs knowledge pretty easily, and can also read a book fast. Is also a very helpful tutor. Describes and explains material in a brief manner.

36 • Do you think they have any other friends in Devildom aside the characters game? Or do they just stay with them?

Her mentor Cleo turned out to be a witch! So sleepovers, spa days, and movie binges with each other are a must! Also, Mephistopheles is a drinking partner from time to time. Don’t forget Solomon, who Ayano goes to for....stress relief.

37 • What is their favourite food? 

Takoyaki, basically fried dough with octopus tentacles. Or Korean BBQ. Is obsessed with sweet and sour combos

38 • Do they have any specific talent? (artistic, random fact, etc)

She’s an artistic person, knowing what angles to take pics and lovesss sketching the boys. Baking is a stress thing, reading with tea is a pastime of hers. Likes trying out different nail art every week or so. Gardening or tending to plants is a must.

39 • Who is the person they rely on when not feeling well?

Cleo, she’s been Ayano’s mentor since age 13. The only one who knows her full, true self. A girl’s day out will ensue, or a girl’s day in, depending on what Ayano wants.

40 • How did they decorate their bedroom in the House of Lamentations? I mean, the game’s MC bedroom is cool but we all know it need customisation. If your MC does not live with the bros, just describe their bedroom.

She completely redecorated the room with Cleo’s help. Absolutely hated the OG design.

Ayano’s Human world flat : https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/301-E-61st-St-19A-New-York-NY-10065/300195837_zpid/ 

41 • Are they a heavy or light sleeper? How many hours of sleep do they get? Do they have insomnia or do they fall asleep easily? Just describe your MC's sleep habits.

Ayano’s a light sleeper, because in the mafia, she had to be up at any given moment. Usually 6 hours of sleep. She has insomnia, and sleeps at like 12 am or 1 pm. Usually wakes up at 6am, every day. Can sleep at any given moment though. She’s a female Lucifer in that sense

42 • What is your MC's Devilgram username?

@Silver_Aya

43 • Does your MC have a part-time job during the exchange? If yes, where in Devildom?

Yes. Well not really, does investing in stocks and gambling count? By the end of week 2 in the Devildom, she has 10 million grimm in her account.

44 • How do they deal with the exchange program at first? Do they adapt easily in Devildom? Was it hard for them to be far away from the human world? Were they excited of in panic?

Ayano just went with the flow. It’s a whole new realm, how could she not be excited? Asks Cleo to show her around. It takes a week or two to fully adapt to the Devildom. She missed her cat, but luckily Cleo told her she was taking care of Luci at her human world flat. Kinda hated the fact that the HoL was full of 7 guys, but is in close contact with Cleo. The first night, she asked to go to a casino with Mammon and went from 250,000 grimm, to 1,000,000 grimm on her card.

45 • Do your MC’s relatives/friends know they are in Devildom? How do they deal with their absence? Tbh I’m just wondering what is happening during the exchange program since in the game, MC didn’t really choose to be there.

Well, everyone knew Ayano would be gone for a year, so they carried on fine. Her brother missed her expertise, but knew she’d be fine. Cleo brings her bills and contracts to finish up in the human world, and has hired a cleaner to come in once a month.

46 • How do they feel when they have to leave Devildom for the first time after their first one year exchange? Did they just return to the occupation they had before the exchange program? Did this experience change them? (Sorry these questions are more for human MC)

Ayano misses everyone terribly, and calls and texts everyone once or twice every week to update. She keeps in contact with Solomon to continue her magic lessons. Ayano just goes back to Japan like everything’s normal. Diavolo had a movie made during her time in the Devildom on some random mythology, which turned out to be a box office sensation. Everything is pretty much the same.

47 • Describe your MC’s D.D.D: phone case, wallpaper…

A neutral toned, light phone case with lotus flowers and lily pads. Her lock screen is a white/cream rose. Ayano’s wallpaper is her posing with Luci, her calico cat with blue eyes. Ayano’s kissing Luci’s nose in the picture. Her lock screen is a

48 • How do they react to praise? How do they react to criticism?

Says “thank you” or some variation of that from a stranger. If it’s an acquaintance, same. If it’s a friend, a thank you and a genuine smile. A close friend, a hug and thanks with a compliment thrown back. A lover, kisses and cuddles. Cleo, ‘awww, so sweet from someone so deadly’. 

To strangers: shoots the criticism back in twice the snippiness if they’re being rude. If it’s constructive criticism, she’ll respect that. Acquaintances, again, same as above. Friends:depends if it’s in a teasing manner. If so, she’ll tease back, if it’s rude and uncalled for, she’ll tell them. Close friends: will be fine with teasing and will tease back. Will accept actual criticism if it’s constructive, will ask why they said so if it’s rude. Lover: WIll TEASE BACK WITH TICKLES. If it’s an actual criticism, she’ll take that into account and embrace it. Cleo: will jab back with an embarrassing story. If it’s real, will change if it’s reasonable

49 • What is their future goal? (it could be their actual goal [dont forget the tw spoiler], their dream job, any other wish they want for the future)

To have a happy family, in a nice home. Also to make others happy and inspire them. She already has her dream job, so a S/O would be perfect for Ayano to balance her out.

50 • Describe their perfume/scent.

Her perfume smells like spices, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and vanilla in particular. Her shampoo/conditioner, and body wash give her hints of oat milk and ginger, coffee and coconut. Cleo and Satan would say she smells like a cafe.

51 • Did they ever commit a crime or have been arrested?

Yes, she’s been in the mafia, meaning she’s killed, stolen, and broken into houses.

52 • (A bit TW??) Do they smoke? Do they drink?

An occasional Mexican cigar. She likes wine and whiskey in particular. Doesn’t get drunk too often. At most she gets tipsy.

53 • Do they play a musical instrument?

Piano, violin, guitar, and bass

54 • How do they see themselves? How do they want to be seen by others?

Ayano sees herself as a horrible person. Being in the mafia, she’s done and seen horrifying things. She wishes to one day be able to see redemption in herself, that’s why she donates to charity and volunteers often. She wants to be seen as approachable and kind to others, albeit one not to mess with. Ayano dreams to be an inspiration for young children, showing that you can come up from nothing. 

55 • What was your MC like as a child? Did they have a happy childhood?

Ayano grew up in an abusive household. Her father blamed her for her mother’s death, when in reality, he shot her while drunk and blamed Ayano as a coping method. Her brother was kept away from her, so he barely knew her. Ayano didn’t even know he remembered her at all. When she ran away at 13, she lived on the streets for some time, stealing food and clothing. Sometimes a kind person would give her some money or food, but most walked by or looked at her in disgust. One day, she managed to steal a silver necklace from her future mentor, Cleo. Cleo was a mafia boss’ daughter, and was impressed that Ayano could steal from her at all. After begging and persuasion, her father let Ayano join the mafia as her apprentice.

56 • Would they prefer to live forever in Devildom or come back/live in the human world?

Ayano would most likely try and find a way to become immortal, in order to live in the Devildom. The brothers and undateables are her family pretty much. She’d ask Cleo if Luci can be brought down and made immortal as well.

57 • Did they ever get the chance to visit the Celestial realm? If so, what do they think about it? Did they meet Michael? (Ofc it’s your personal hc since Michael never appeared in the game)

Yes, after much begging and pleading from Luke, Simeon reluctantly agreed to let her into the Celestial Realm. She loves the food ofc, especially the fruit. She never met Michael because he was “on a business trip.”

58 • Do the pact marks appear on their skin? If yes, where are they? What do they look like?

Yes, they appear on her skin, only when she uses her pact though, as Solomon told her. They have not been seen as of now….

59 • What is your MC’s favorite music genre? Do they have any favorite band/singer? Favorite song?

Ayano likes to listen to classical, indie rock, rap, and some pop. She’s fond of Frank Sinatra, James Arthur, and NF. There are like 20 songs Ayano would consider her ‘favorite’

60 • Choose 4 pics that fit your MC’s aesthetic. (I chose 6 bc why not?)

[teruthecreator]

hehe i know im thinking pretty far ahead but, between mack and minerva, who would propose (first)?

i’ve had such a shitty day (4th of july is probably the worst holiday ever for lifeguards btw) i literally need to answer this ask just to filly myself w softness once more  

I think…hm. Well, I think they both make the decision to propose at relatively the same time. They haven’t been dating too long, but when you’ve got Minerva “Destiny And Fate Are Very Real Things I Trust And Believe In” Newton (yes she has duck’s last name it’s a whole thing fight me on this) and Mack “Impulse Issues Is My Middle Name” Megargel (also yeah…yeah that’s her last name. i just thought of it and it sounds so great so yeah mack’s full name is Mack Megargel. she probably has a middle name but that’s a different thought for a different day) it was only a matter of time before this was happening. 

Mack’s just sorta sitting with Minerva on her couch when she thinks of it, feeling so content and safe with someone and thinking about how it’d be pretty nice if this was her forever. She doesn’t say anything at the time, just cuddles closer to Minerva and presses a kiss under her chin. 

Minerva thinks of it during tech of a particularly challenging production. Mack got slammed with a bunch of copyright issues last minute, forcing her to change the show and completely re-cast the production in a matter of weeks. Mack’s sprinting down the aisle at full speed, launching herself up onto the stage before another poorly-built set piece falls to the floor and completely shatters. Minerva is already there as support–of course–but watching her beloved sprint down the aisle feels somehow poetic, and it occurs to her that the action is vaguely similar to scenes in “romantic comedies” her and Mack have watched. It takes a minute or so (long enough for Mack to swoop and save the day yet again Kirby which is why I told you to–) for Minerva’s brain to finally supply “wedding”, and when it does she drops all of the things she was holding (a hammer, some nails, and a few planks of wood) in her excitement. She manages to dismiss Mack’s concerned looks, and races back to Duck’s apartment as soon as she can to begin researching traditional Earthen weddings. 

Minerva is immediately thrilled about the idea of proposing to Mack. Like, listen, the girl knows her Girl. So she obviously understands Mack’s deep love for the Dramatique. And, in the weeks of research Minerva sets aside to plan her proposal, she understands that a public proposal would be just the right amount of Too Much for Mack to get a real kick out of it. Plus, she knows how much of a home Kepler has become to Mack, and also knows that if there’s any place in the entire world she would love to be proposed to at, it’s the safety and peace of her own theatre. So Minerva gets to some Serious Proposal Planning and somehow, in the process, recruits every single one of their shared friends. Duck is the first to know–because Minerva’s been using his computer for all her research and she has yet to understand how to blast her cache–but soon after that the whole Chosen Squad knows. They all brainstorm proposal ideas, but only one of them is married and Leo’s not that much of a pot of inspiration for proposal ideas. 

leo: Why dont’cha just ask? 

sarah, wayyyyy too into the idea of a dramatic proposal than she should be: Are you kidding me, Leo!? You can’t just ask! Did you just ask Arlo to marry you!? 

leo: Uh, yeah? 

sarah: 

leo: 

duck: 

minerva, too busy scribbling down notes: 

sarah: are you fucking kidding me– 

This leads to the squad getting some outside opinions (Indrid, Juno, and Thacker are suddenly invited to the “Minnie’s Proposal Plans” groupchat–which is a thing btw–and no one is surprised in the least by this development), but ultimately a lot of their ideas are duds too. Though, with the addition of Indrid, the cross-banter is cut down tremendously because he can just chime in immediately and be like “this idea is going to get us nowhere and make duck say some really dumb shit, but Juno’s been sitting on a decent idea for roughly ten minutes now so let’s give her the floor”. From these Powerful Minds, they are able to establish a setting and a time frame. Those being the theatre for setting (which Minerva was already thinking about) and “during busy season” for the time frame. The reason for choosing when Mack’s busiest is so she doesn’t notice the amount of running around Minerva will have to do in order to set everything up. But, since she can’t keep everything in the theatre, or in Duck’s apartment, they gotta let Ned in on the Big Plans so he can hide everything back in the Chicanery.  

Which is how Ned and Kirby get involved (neither of which is surprised by these developments in the slightest; Ned’s just a little peeved he wasn’t brought in sooner) and are tasked with the mission of recon: AKA, dropping vague questions about hypothetical proposals to Mack to see what she’d like. It works with relative success, as Mack admits in passing to Kirby how she wouldn’t mind a cheesy proposal (roses, candles, The Works, y’know) but what she’d really love is to be proposed to with song or “some overdramatic bullshit like that”. Ned gets way too excited about the prospects of turning this into one big musical number, and it takes a lot of group discussion before Ned backs off the idea (slightly). Minerva decides to blend the two ideas of cheese and drama to make something truly Her; a romantic declaration of her love whilst a bunch of cool shit happens around her. 

Said cool shit requires one very magical fire lady, who is also very sad she wasn’t brought in on this idea sooner, and pretty soon the entire Lodge is recruited in this whole display. There’s gonna be rose petals, spotlights, confetti cannons, live music (performed by Moira on piano, Barclay on guitar, and Duck on trombone), magic display, dance number. And it’s all gonna end with the piece de resistance: Minerva’s Speech. 

The speech takes the longest to do out of everything. They’re basically sitting on the entire number for almost a month as Minerva does try after try after try for this speech. How can she possible condense her endless adoration for Mack in just a few short sentences? How will she show to Mack that this is it for her--that there’s no one on this planet or any other planet that Minerva could ever love more than she does Mack? There simply aren’t enough words, let alone enough time. Finally, after a lot of fussing and rewrites, she ends up with something she likes. It isn’t perfect, but it’s hard to reach perfection when she’s already sleeping right beside Minerva on the couch. 

From there, they just...wait. It, luckily, doesn’t take too long for Mack’s season to kick into full swing (as Minerva’s speech took up most of Mack’s grace period), and then they just prepare the plan. 

Step One: Get Mack Out Of Theatre. Ned and Kirby manage to convince Mack to come with them on a thrift run so Ned can stock up on shit to turn into exhibits (and Mack needs some specialty props anyway so why not). Once she’s gone, initiate Step Two. 

Step Two: Hide Props In Kirby’s Office. Pretty easy task. 

Step Three: Wait (Some More) 

The original idea was that, after setting everything up inside the theatre, they would pull off the actual proposal the next day so as to not raise Mack’s suspicions. Minerva considers this an easy-enough idea, as she’s spent this long already hiding the proposal from Mack, what’s a few more hours gonna do? 

So it’s that night, and Mack and Minerva are sidled up on the couch together. They’ve just finished dinner (pizza, since Mack was out with Ned and Kirby so late) and are watching re-runs of Seinfeld when Mack leans up and kisses Minerva on the cheek. 

“Hey, honey?” Mack says. Minerva looks down at her and smiles. 

“Yes, my starlight?” 

“Do you wanna get married?” What. Wait. Hold on...what? Minerva is staring down at Mack now, who doesn’t fidget in the slightest. She just looks curious, like the way she does when she asks Minerva about her homeworld. 

“I-I, uh, I--” What the fuck is Minerva supposed to say?? Is this just a question or a proposition?? What is going on right now?? Mack smiles at Minerva. 

“You can say no, y’know.” She says, causing Minerva to splutter. 

“No, no!! I, uh, yes! Yes, Mack, of course I want to marry you!” Mack’s grin widens and suddenly Minerva can see the glee sparkling in her eyes. She rifles around her jean’s pocket and pulls out a jewelry box and--are you fucking kidding me this is real, huh, this is really real Mack’s done it she’s beaten her to the punch oh my god-- 

Mack pops open the ring box and Minerva just gapes at the ring inside. The ring itself is made of a brilliantly polished silver, the gem on it a very light blue with these speckles of almost gold in it cut into the shape of a diamond. There are two small moonstones framing the gem, one on each side, also cut into diamonds. Minerva’s eyes spring tears as she watches Mack carefully take out the ring and slip into onto Minerva’s ring finger (she’d been holding that hand the entire time, the bastard). Mack smiles and presses a kiss to her hand before looking back into her fiancees eyes. 

“Sick,” 

so uh, yeah, long story short: mack does it first

[wordsofcleo]

The Divorce 12/2/19

Ah yes, you read it correctly. Divorce. That nasty word that nobody likes to hear. In today’s world, people get married just to have the experience. Then they realize it isn’t what they fantasized it would be, so they get that fancy piece of paperwork that cancels out the other fancy piece of paperwork, also known as “divorce”. As of today, I’ve been married for two years and five months. That will end soon enough, and yes, I will tell you why. After the brief intermission of the story of ignorance regarding the last four years of my life.

So, some far away (and a bit blurry) time ago, I found myself pondering around on a dating website called Plenty Of Fish. (Is this how every horror story goes? I’m pretty sure it does.) In case you aren’t familiar with dating websites, you have the option to set a “perimeter”. Your perimeter was how far you were willing to travel to meet someone. It could be 20 miles, 50 miles, 150 miles, or even worldwide if you were interested in long distance. Of course, the further your perimeters, the more options you have. The more people you can meet. My perimeters were only set 50 miles out, and no further. That meant that I wouldn’t have the option to meet anyone outside of a 50 mile radius. I lived in a small town in Florida, so I knew that the crowd would be limited. So, I came across this guy who I found incredibly attractive. And to be fair, he had a hysterically cheesy pickup tagline. Something like, “We can hit up the dollar menu at McDonald’s, as long as we’re together, that’s all that matters.” I kind of felt like he was a winner for saying something that damn cheesy and honest. So, I messaged him. We kicked it off quickly. Months went by, and we’d shared the mutual idea of meeting up sometime. When I asked where he was from, he replied, “Denham Springs.” I scratched my head at that one. I was familiar with my area and surrounding areas, but I hadn’t heard of Denham Springs. I figured it was some small hick town that I had not heard of. So, I let it slide. Sometime later it had been mentioned again that we should meet. I asked where Denham Springs was. He replied, “Louisiana.” I was baffled when I realized that this man was some 408 miles away from where I lived. I explained I had my radius set 50 miles out and no further. He said the same for him, so we both chucked that up to being a “universal connection”. Yeah, we looked deep into that. That’s how romance gets you, I suppose. Him and I kept in close contact for a little over a year when he decided that he would make the move to come visit me. It was November, and Thanksgiving was coming around. At this time, I’d been working hard at my job and had saved up for an old school camper to have my first “tiny home on wheels”. I had big plans to deck it out and soup it up. I had a cute lot that I rented on the beach, and it was perfect to have someone that I’d developed feelings for come along and have a private place to mingle. I was 18 years old. November 4th, 2016, he drove from Louisiana to Florida to meet me at my place. Thankfully, I had neighbors all around, so nothing weird could have happened to me. I told the guy he could stay up until Thanksgiving, and if we clicked like we did over long distance, then he could move in officially. We fell in love, and the connection was intense. A little too intense. I had dated, I had boyfriends, but this was something new and different. And it was quick. I felt like I’d fallen into a rabbit hole of heart throbbing magic goo. With that being said, things moved quickly. He proposed within 6 months of living with me, and I said yes. He asked my grandfather who had raised me if he could have his honor of marriage. My Pop’s words were, “Yes, but give it some time, and see how things play out. Never rush into anything.” To my husband, that meant yes and strictly yes. No way did he hear the other parts. So, he went ahead and proposed on the beach. All of it sounds romantic, yes? Oh it was. I loved the guy a lot. I thought he loved me. What I didn’t realize is that while I’d truly fallen deeply in love with someone whom I believed was my soul tie, they may have only been infatuated with the idea of me. The idea of a new start. The idea of moving states. The idea of starting over entirely with a stranger that he did not truly know from Adam.

Some time after he popped the question; maybe a few months, he up and left one day. Literally left me out of the blue without a trace. No note, no goodbye, no reason or rhyme. Things were great between us. I couldn’t understand what in the world I could have done wrong. My phone number was blocked. I could not reach him. Next thing I knew, his family was ringing me up telling me that he’d come back home to Louisiana. He’d told them he just couldn’t do it anymore. (I ended up hearing that a lot more than I’d like to admit). I had no explanation, nothing at all. I felt as though my soul had been ripped apart. There I was, newly engaged (without a ring or any symbol of a promise to him/our future together), and he was gone into thin air. I suffered. I cried. I fell into a deep pit of depression. A couple of months went by in my stagnant, depressed, totally lost state and he says he’s coming back. Of course I’m thrilled! I need answers, I need help, but most of all I needed my fiance back. I figured it was a screw up on his end that he was willing to fix. He certainly apologized enough. I forgave him quickly. He came back, told me about everything he did wrong and that he was “scared”, so he left. Told me everything I wanted to hear. I believed him. The biggest thing that got me was when he came back and sat me down to talk, “I realized after I left that I DO want to marry you. You are the woman I want to spend my future with” ...with tears in his big eyes. I had to believe him at that point. So, he took me to the local jewelry store to look at rings that we couldn’t afford. Not me, not him. He had already began his job hopping journey a bit, so I didn’t see myself getting a ring of any kind. I went with it anyway. See, the thing about this man is that he could charm literally anyone. He charmed me. I fell for it. He had manipulation tactics. He told the owner of the jewelry store how he had left and realized his mistakes, and melted her soul with how much he loved me and so on. So what does she do? She has me pick out the diamond that I like most (a Marquis, small but beautiful) and makes him a promise. “How about this... I see how much you love this woman, and I think your story is precious. I want to help you out. I will give you the ring in exchange of furniture moving for me and my store.” Of course, he happily agreed to move furniture in exchange for my overdue engagement ring. So, I got the ring. It was wonderful! I felt officially engaged, and we were on the right path! Soon enough, things start going badly again. He cannot hold down a job; leaves them whenever he wants without reason or warning and goes on to find another one. He burned many bridges, and it was a small town. There’s only so many corners you can run into before there are no hiding spots left. Not only was it bad, but it was embarrassing. We would do great for a short time, and then things would go haywire. He would be ecstatic in the beginning, and then he turned like a light switch. One day I was so familiar with my loving fiance, and the next day he was a stranger. Cold, emotionless, lifeless. It was a constant emotional rollercoaster. Very quickly, he’d decided that furniture moving was too good for him, and he didn’t want to partake in the original agreement. Along with everything else falling apart, it was time for him to leave again. This time I was told that he was leaving, and that I had no say so because it really was over. My main concern was the ring. That poor woman that was gracious enough to want to help! I practically begged him to stay with me, but I told him that if he did anything at all, he’d better return the ring to the woman. So I made sure that he did. And then he was off, again, back home to Louisiana. This was take two. I was certain he was never coming back again, but somehow and for some reason, I still wanted him to stay with me. I cried some more, fell into another crazy dark depression, questioned my worth, my relationship, and everything else. At that point I’d sold the camper I’d worked hard for and moved back in with my grandparents who raised me. I figured I needed time to myself, needed to reverse a little bit, and save money without lot rent on my plate. I needed to shift my focus. So I tried to do just that in the midst of the darkness. December was rolling around at that time, and I was afraid I’d be spending Christmas cold and alone without my fiance to celebrate with. He’d be some four hundred miles away, living happily with his folks doing whatever floated his boat, and I’d be stuck with nothing but sadness for the holidays. I was right. Christmas day wasn’t going to be very fulfilling for me without him, so I linked up with my good friend Justin at the time and he took me under his wing for Christmas. I drove to his house and spent the day with him and his brother into the night. It was better than being stuck, alone, with nothing. That evening on Christmas, my husband called me and requested I drive to Louisiana because he wanted to make up. His car had broken down, and he had no way back to Florida. You’d bet your ass I agreed. Never driven on the interstate, not once, but I’d be out on it early the next morning.

(In the midst of this timeline, we had been married on July 8, 2017. Given the fact I’d been left as many times as I was, a lot of the dates are foggy to me. I can’t tell you what happened when to an exact point, because it all runs together. I just have a general idea of when these things took place.)

5AM the morning after Christmas, I packed a cooler full of snacks and drinks, rushed out of the house, and made my way to the interstate. My fists were clenched to that steering wheel and a rattle of nerves inside my stomach, but I was damn determined. Even then, I was forgiving of my husband. I would quite literally have done anything for him. I had a fear of traffic, highways, and of course interstates. That’s why I’d never driven one before. But that day, none of it mattered. I needed to go see my husband, and yes, even after everything he’d done to me. I made it from Florida to Louisiana in roughly 6 hours flat. I was a speed demon; my foot was the lead that set the rubber spinning on the gravel all 408 miles. I was eventually popped off of I-12 into Denham Springs LA where I caught every damn pothole under my tire. Thanks, Louisiana. Get your shit fixed why don’t you? When I pulled up to his aunt’s house where he had lived in the guest house with his cousin for the last 3 months, my stomach churned. I was so excited to finally get things right with him. I hoped and prayed that this would be the turning point. He picked me up, spun me around like something in a movie, and we kissed. We got a hotel room and enjoyed the city for a few days, and then I had to drive back home. He and his father would repair his broken down car for the next several days, and then return to Florida. I looked forward to having him back once and for all. I have to say, that was a huge sacrifice I’d made for him; that trip to Louisiana. I was terrified, nervous, uncertain of where my relationship stood, and everything else included. But what can I say? I did it for love. Eventually, he returned to Florida as promised with his repaired vehicle, and we presumed our lives. He gave me the same talk but a bit more souped up. Again, I believed him because I wanted to believe him. I prayed, hoped, and waited very patiently. I thought, “surely it won’t be this way forever.”

A year and six months passed without my husband running off. I truly felt confident in the fact that we were never going to split again. We were doing great. He wasn’t job hopping anymore, he was more involved with me and my family, and he was all around a better man than before. I decided to use what cash I’d managed to save after selling my old camper and moving back in with my grandparents to put down on a house. No, not a literal house. I bought an empty shed shell that I had big dreams of turning into a tiny home with enough hard work and precious time. That’s another can of worms in itself that I will get into later on.

My grandfather became ill, and he helped tremendously with things involving him. That alone meant the world to me. My grandfather eventually had toes on one foot removed due to gangrene, and later on had his leg amputated. It was a bad time. Nevertheless, my husband had been very supportive and good to all of us. When my grandfather was in rehab to learn how to function with his leg and a half, my family took on the project of remodeling my grandfather’s room/bathroom. We wanted to make it handicapped accessible when he returned. We wanted his comfort. He deserved that much. My husband helped a lot with that, also. During that time and because of all the dust particles floating around at my grandparent’s house - me, my grandmother, and my husband were offered a rental right on the beach (for free) until the remodeling was mostly finished with. It was like a little vacation to us. After everything my grandfather had been through along with other stressors, it was nice to live on the beach for nearly a month. Along for the stay was my oldest dog Shelby, and my younger dog Judge. One night at the beach house, I’d driven into town to take my husband dinner (as per usual when I wasn’t working and he was). When I returned, I noticed a black blob outside on the road. I remember thinking, “Oh my god, who’s dog has been hit?” I parked my car, ran over to the road, only to see my sixteen year old poodle, Shelby, dead in the street. My grandmother had let her out on the fenced in, secured porch while I was away, and she somehow managed to squeeze out and ran down into the traffic; right where the highway was. I was destroyed. My grandmother blamed herself for a long time, but it was not her fault we had a Houdini dog. Approximately three days later, my husband left again. Yes, he left at our vacation stay on the beach. I had gone somewhere, but him and my grandmother were the only ones at the beach house. I remember the phone call to this day, “Sav, I think he’s leaving again. He took the outside stairs with all of his things, but he didn’t come say anything to me.” I rushed to the beach house to see what was going on, but he had already taken off. No, he didn’t even have the guts to tell my grandmother what he was doing. He packed up and left, telling no one, and for no reason whatsoever. Now, I will say, I could always tell when he was becoming distant. I grew to have a subconscious idea of when he was going to leave. I just never wanted to trust those warning signs. He would go from being amazing and totally involved to cold, calloused, withdrawn, and emotionless. If I had one word to describe the man, I’d call him Jekkyl and Hyde. It was night and day with him. He was a mysterious person. No one ever could understand why he did the things that he did. Not only that, but he hurt many in the process of doing them.

I was working four days a week at my job during that time, and it was hell. Most of the time I had to drag myself in and go into autopilot mode, because let’s be honest, it was getting old. STILL, somehow, I wanted to fight for him. I was making myself sick. At this point in time, I’d lost my identity. I went into a panic mode, yet I was so withdrawn within myself. I couldn’t feel anything anymore. I was literally totally numb in all ways that a human can be numb. It was disgusting. And out of total panic stricken chaos, poor coping mechanisms, and plenty of “I’m sick of his bullshit” mode, what did I do? I immediately created another dating website account. Yes, oh silly me. I ran to the total polar opposite direction of what I should have been running to. I was going to show him just how done I really was, and meet someone new. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t looking to just move on in my life, fall in love, and be seriously involved with someone. I was looking to fill the void that he’d left me with (that’s me being honest here). I was looking for someone to meet that would make me feel somewhat whole again. And also to slightly rub it in his face. Yes, I admit that. So, I met an ex-Navy guy named Ryan. Very generous and kind man he was. He’d spent four years in the Navy, and went to work as an electrician for the Naval ships locally. He was talented and intelligent with a good sense of humor. He cared. We had a lot in common. I liked Ryan and I spent a lot of time with him. He was a gentleman. The thing is, it quickly turned into something that would never have lasted. I knew that I was still hurt over my husband, and I didn’t want to become seriously involved with someone. Before I knew it, that’s where it seemed to be going. Not only that, but it wouldn’t have worked out as a long term/serious thing. Ryan was a good guy, but he was more involved in his video games than he could be with me. That was a no, given I’d had the same experience from my husband with video game addiction. So I severed it, knowing then that it was wrong in the beginning, and I went on my way. Not long after severing ties with Ryan, my husband was contacting me once more. “Hey, I know you don’t want anything to do with me at this point, but I miss you. I would like to come home.” Can we guess what I did? Can we just guess here? Ding ding ding! You got it right. I took him back. Again.

I still remember the day I went to visit my grandfather in the rehabilitation center, and upon visiting, I had to break the news to him that my husband was coming back (again). My grandfather was a very understanding man. He wanted what was best for me, and he never wanted to see me hurt. It hurt him. But he was the type of man that when he saw me fight for something I loved and believed in, he put his pride aside and fought with me. So, he took it about how I’d expected him to. “Are you sure, girl?” And I replied, “Yes, Pop. You know what they say, third times the charm.” I was confident in that statement, but later would I discover just how wrong I was. My husband came back, actually manned up and apologized formally to my family for the person he’d been. It was the least cowardly he’d been in the entirety of our relationship. I was convinced that he had dropped the runner mentality and was stepping up to the plate. He was finally being a man! My aunt was so forgiving of the situation that she hooked him up with an awesome job (very kind owner); a job that he loved and suited him perfectly. When my grandfather came home from rehabilitation, my husband was a tremendous help. Due to my spinal injuries, and my grandmother being older and unable to pull a Superman all of the time, he was able to do a lot of the lifting and such. If my grandfather needed help moving from one place to another, my husband helped. If my grandfather needed help getting into the bed, my husband was right there. It was things like that that meant the most to me. He was helping the man who raised me. He was helping him in (what we didn’t know at the time were) his final days. He appeared a changed man. A better man. A real man.

I began to trust my husband again. He was doing all of the right things, genuinely, for once. He was showing emotions and being vulnerable with me. Not long after my grandfather came back from rehabilitation, Hurricane Michael (CAT 5) hit us here in the Panhandle of Florida. We were ground zero, unfortunately. I can write a million words describing that event, but it was absolutely devastating. That’s the shortest summary I can create at this point. My grandparents weren’t sure how they would evacuate, because my grandfather was on kidney dialysis and an amputee who got around on a Hover-Round. It wasn’t so simple to make last minute arrangements under those circumstances. My husband and I booked it ahead of time, because we weren’t taking any chances. We locked our house down (the afore mentioned project I’d started with my savings) that we had only been moved into for approximately three months at the time. Yes, we were incredibly worried that we would lose everything that we’d just worked hard for. We packed up and went to Louisiana. The plan was to visit his family while we were there, and take a detour to New Orleans - only because I’d craved to see the city for the longest time. It was a must. My grandparents weren’t able to evacuate until last minute. That scared the living hell out of me. I was afraid they may stay behind, and I may or may not ever see them again. They took off to be with some family of ours in Georgia. It was a bit saddening to be away from them, but the thing that mattered most was that we would all be away from Hurricane Michael and ultimately be in safety. They found a kidney dialysis center near Atlanta for my grandfather. My husband and I enjoyed our trip in Louisiana, but felt very fearful of what would be to come on the Panhandle. I remember standing in New Orleans, looking across the Mississippi River as the hurricane was scheduled to roll in back home, and feeling bricks in my stomach. I was terrified of what the aftermath would be like. Nevertheless, we attempted to enjoy our time away, and in safety. Yes, the aftermath was horrifying. On the drive back from visiting New Orleans, my social media was filled with photos and videos of our hometown being demolished by natural disaster. We didn’t know if our home still stood, and the same applied for my grandparents. A few days passed, and I couldn’t stand to be away from my grandparents any longer. The four of us decided to come together and meet up in Alabama, a little closer to home but not too close just yet (no one was allowed back at that point) and we stayed in a hotel together. We had to stay actively evacuated for approximately a month before we could even come home. Yes, both of our homes somehow managed to be fine. Minor damage on both. After the long dreaded return to havoc of our beaten and assaulted hometown, we responded exactly how I’d expected. It was emotional turmoil for all of us. It was a time for all of us to stick together, become warriors in the best ways we knew how, and love one another more than ever. My grandfather became more ill as the days progressed. My husband became even more loving and strong. We were picking up the pieces of a tight knitted little family. It was how it was supposed to be in hard times. Given my grandparents were one of the rare few in the area to have electricity renewed to their home, my husband and I lived there for a while, along with my mother and my siblings. It was “The Hurricane Headquarters”. Even though nearly a month had passed since Michael hit, every day afterward seemed as though it had just taken place. For a long time, no one could get gasoline. Finally, one place nearby offered gasoline. And then another. Yay, we finally had two gasoline options! Every day we had to go out and scout and rummage for food. No restaurants, no stores. They had food lines. Yes, in a short summary, it was like living in an apocalypse for a good minute. Nevertheless, we stuck together and did our best. Surprisingly, my husband didn’t run off to his sturdy and untouched home base back in Louisiana. It would have been the perfect time for him to slip out again, but alas, he did not. I was pleased at how he handled it. I was even more surprised that he stuck around. It was a god damn war zone.

My grandfather’s cancer was growing in his body in more than a couple of places, his kidney dialysis was zapping him, and he as a whole was getting worse. He was getting tired. Confused. Agitated. Pained. It hurt to see him degrading so quickly. I hurt for him. He was essentially my father; the grandfather who raised me. And after everything we’d been through with Hurricane Michael, I didn’t want to lose him. But a month after Michael on November 25, he passed away. That particular morning, my husband had been on his way to work early. My grandmother knew he had work early, and she had to call him for help with getting my grandfather in the bed. He’d been struggling and had no energy whatsoever. My grandmother couldn’t lift him. As per usual during that time span, my husband stopped by without a single complaint and lifted my grandfather right into bed. Not long after my husband left, he passed away. Yes, my husband was the last person to help him into bed. My husband got to say goodbye to him, and I did not. My husband helped lay him to rest that day, and didn’t even know that was what he was doing. But he was. I was at home asleep when my phone started buzzing viciously beside my head. I’d missed one phone call already from my grandmother. The voicemail was unexpected and ripped my heart from my chest. She’d called me first, crying, saying that she couldn’t get him to wake up and to hurry over. Naturally, I was the furthest away from her, living in the middle of nowhere. I practically fell down the stairs to race to my car, and onto my grandparents house. Some 30 miles later, losing my sanity and thinking life wasn’t real anymore, I was at the hospital where my grandfather had been transported. I met my husband, my grandmother, my mother, and the rest of my immediate family in the lobby. They’d attempted reviving my grandfather, but shortly would we get the word from the doctor that he did not make it.

I was a total mess. I’d lost my dad; the one boulder man figure in my life that taught me everything I knew and more. My husband was supposed to be my shoulder to lean on at the time. Before my Pop passed, I’d promised him had anything happen to him, I’d be the strong one. I had to take care of my grandmother first and foremost. I had to buckle up for her. That was my main concern. I went into autopilot mode and set my grieving on the back burner, because she was my main focus. The next days and weeks after his passing were absolute hell for me. My husband had never lost anyone that close to him before, so it was not familiar territory with him. I understood that. But my husband was not an emotional human. He could be when he wanted to put on a show, and it would be believable, but it would fade back to the real him in no time. An emotionless, cold, expressionless man. That was my husband. When my Pop passed away, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. At night, I would shake so uncontrollably that I could not be contained. It was like a machine had a hold on my body and was shaking me like a rag doll. Creepy, but true. Still not sure what that was, honestly. My husband would say “It’s okay” and eventually turn right over and go to sleep. I felt so alone. I felt weak. I had to be the strong one, but I felt so weak. I could not even rely on my husband for emotional support. He went from being so actively involved and somewhat emotionally vulnerable to nothing, again, that quickly. When I needed him the most. He turned. And there I was again, struggling, lost, confused, broken, and everything else under the moon, with only me myself and I to hold myself upright.

The months following my Pop’s death are just like what you’ve read prior, and can expect from my husband’s behavior, only slightly more depressing because of the things I was struggling with. In the times I seriously needed him the most, he was returning to his emotionless, cold state. Oh - but one minute he would be amazingly involved and “there” for me. Within seconds, he was expressionless and “gone”. When confronted about this switch, I was called overreactive. I was pointing out all of his flaws. I was making him out to be a horrible person. I was over exaggerating. I was this, I was that. No, I was only becoming (finally) more verbal about the switches in his personality and how it affected me. Hell, after all I’d been through, I was very much entitled to speaking up. Finally. And I did. Things became very rocky, again, and I could tell that he was reverting, again. In March, four months after the passing, my husband and I got into a serious car wreck that added to my spinal injuries. We were very lucky to be alive (given the remarks from EMS and police). For a short while, we snapped out of our “at your throat” and “eggshells” mode, and we became emotional with one another and totally appreciative and forgiving (forgiving on my end, toward him). No worries, that didn’t last very long at all. Yes, it wore off and he was back to his very cold mode again. It never did last very long at all. On August 15th, he started a new medication. He’d been on depression medication and it did well for a long time. Until he was taking the highest dosage available for a long while, and became immune to it. Because of his change in attitude and reverting to the “old him”, I suggested seeing a doctor to go over his meds. He did, and they put him on an entirely different medication. August 15. Three days later on August 18, 2019, he left me again and it was again, totally unexpected and without reason. I immediately pointed fingers at the Wellbutrin medication that he’d suddenly been put on (given the bad reviews as well), but I had to remind myself that this was nothing new. The first couple of weeks, I wanted to sue the makers of Wellbutrin. I wanted to drive the 30+ miles to confront his doctor and give them a piece of my mind. I was searching for answers and blaming some crazy manic episode triggered by psych meds. I had to remind myself, “Sav, let it go. This is nothing new. Let the man go.” I had to remember that this was not the first or second time that my significant other had left me in the dark, but the fourth time. At first, I did a lot of praying and staying in my faith. I did a lot of soul searching. I was dedicated to fighting for this man. September rolled around; my 22nd birthday landing on the 3rd. I didn’t get a text from him. It was expected, because when he left me all the times before, I never heard a word from him until he was ready to come home. I swallowed the lumps in my throat all day on my birthday and reminded myself that I’m worth more. Slowly but surely, I dropped the idea that I needed to fight for someone like this. Slowly but surely, I replayed all of the bad memories with him. I stopped recounting the very few and far between spurting moments of happiness (mostly the moments that I created for us) and began counting the bad ones. Visionaries and flashbacks filled my mind of the many nights I locked myself in the bathroom and laid on the tile floor just to get away from him in silence and cry and silently scream. Days where I leaned over the sink, looking myself in the mirror as tears fell from my eyes and wishing I were deceased so that he would be a happy man. Not only a happy man, but that it would maybe get out to the world that he was truly a piece of garbage. I hoped that if I died and the world could know of him and his character that he played, that no woman would ever be hurt by him again. I wanted it to be a message to the world. I would have sacrificed my entire life if it meant protecting another woman from the mental and emotional abuse in which I endured. Slowly but surely, I dropped the imaginary concept of “I can fight for him, and we can be happy together”. I began to, at turtle pace, find peeks of my identity again. I began to remember the things that I enjoyed, the reason I was alive, and the things I had left to accomplish in my life. With him, I saw no color, life was a drag. Things were beginning to come back to life. Slowly, but surely.

Our entire relationship didn’t make sense. I found myself digging into this deep ideology of “He’s just a broken man. We will get past this storm together.” but it was always one sided. I was fighting for something, and he wasn’t. He put on the stage act that he was fighting for me, only to come back, let it slide for a little while, and then it would wear off. Acting can only last so long before the actor breaks character. We all know that. My husband engaged in a lot of things that I wasn’t okay with. Porn addiction, gambling, spending money frivolously, being totally emotionless, having zero remorse or sympathy (until he wanted to come back home), and more. Everything that he did, and knew that was a boundary of mine that he was crossing, he never had any second thought. He did it just for him; without any regard for anyone else. Especially me. One of the times that he’d left me, he’d been working a gas station job. It wasn’t until he left that the people from his job started confronting me, asking me questions. Telling me things. For instance, I was told that he would tell the customers that he had a starving wife at home because we were broke (false) and he needed to figure out how he would provide a meal for me. So, he would get money. What did he do with that money? He took it and went directly to the lottery machines. Yes, his coworkers caught him in the act a few times. It wasn’t until he left that I’d been told things like this. The sad thing is that it didn’t shock me. The even sadder thing was that I still took him back; even after knowing things of that stature. When I begged and pleaded to get him to end his porn addiction, I was a "controlling wife”. When I found him slaughtering me with insults behind my back on social media on his phone, I began to hover more and peek more at his texts etc. Because of this, I was a “controlling wife”. When I finally gave him the dreaded ultimatum of, “Lose the porn addiction and everything else that damages our marriage or stay away for good”, I was a “controlling wife”. The best part of it all? His father and stepmother guided him in that “controlling wife” thinking. Oh yes, it came straight from them. I was controlling. Yep, so controlling I was. I was literally begging my husband to respect me when it should have never gotten that far. But I was a controlling wife. Each time that my husband left me, I was somehow the bad guy on that end. He was the almighty justified in leaving me, and I could deal with it. That was their thinking.

To this day, I’m not quite sure why I stayed and fought as long as I did. I gave many chances, and they were all burned. Had I confronted him on his behaviors or gotten angry with him, I was a nagging wife. I emasculated him. I was all of the wrong things. It was all my fault, and he could never be with me because of it. The psychology behind the entire situation picks my brain. I don’t understand why I continued to be with him the way I was, even after everything that I went through. Not once did he physically harm me, but he mentally and emotionally scarred me for life. It will take a long time to recover from. Our marriage counselor reminded me that emotional abuse like this is indeed domestic violence, and not to ever forget that. It’s just as serious, and should be taken that way. He has been incredibly supportive through all of this, as well as my friends and the most important person in my life, my grandmother. She is a true blessing from above. The woman who raised me and loved me unconditionally. I want to thank everyone who has been there for me through these times - even from the beginning when it first started happening. The divorce papers were filed December 2, 2019. It’s a hard thing to throw away four years of my life, but it’s easier knowing that I tried everything possible. I loved as hard as humanly possible. I gave my all. You can love someone as much as you want, but if they don’t love you like you love them, you have nothing. And that’s the situation I dealt with for four years of my life. Never again will I love someone so deeply and give them my all, and they can’t even come close to doing the same for me. Lesson learned.