#Danny: im calling Dad Rights - youre grounded

[starry-bi-sky]

I am procrastinating homework and finals studying so I'm making another DPxDC au -- or more accurately, I am making an au of an au. or combining two aus to make a third one, because I am Procastinating And thinking about it.

(the part two for my Danny is Jason Todd au is like,,, half-made and I will get around to finishing it, promiiissse)

So the two aus I had in mind were combining, of course, the two clone aus - the Danny Clone and the Damian Clone au. For folks who haven't seen either posts (or saw one but not the other) here are summaries of both:

Damian Clone Au: The LoA make a clone of Damian Wayne specifically to either kill Damian Wayne and have the clone take his place as the heir to the LoA, or to bring him back. At 6 years old though and through magical teleportation mishaps, Baby Damian ends up in the warehouse district of Amity Park and picked up (and later adopted) by Danny Fenton. They develop a brotherly dynamic with one another.

Danny Clone Au: Danny is straight up a clone of Bruce Wayne, doesn't find out until a year after he has his accident. And, for the fun of it, is also mostly-powerless (he retains his ghost sense and a semblance of a ghost core and signature, but no ghost form). His reasoning for becoming Phantom is because he has walked into the lab watching his parents dissecting ghosts post-portal working more times than he can count. And due to this, changes his beliefs from "ghosts are evil" to "ghosts are sentient and sapient beings who don't deserve this treatment". (masterpost pinned on my blog, its currently incomplete) He is also a little GNC, as a treat. Long-haired Danny ftw. Ellie is a halfa because of the ectoplasm that Vlad used, and also the same age as Danny. They call each other twins and she is viciously protective of him. He uses a baseball bat and brass knuckles that I call 'jawbreakers' to fight ghosts.

Now admittedly, not much probably changes with the combination of these aus other than the potential parallels between Damian and Danny, and Bruce and Damian - and of course, I am always a sucker for parallels. Plus Damian's running off would take Danny finding him much longer, since he can no longer fly, but all the more meaningful because he still took so much time to find him.

(It probably also makes their first meeting different as well - Danny wears a ROTTMNT Casey Jones Jr. esq. mask when he goes out, but Damian would recognize lazarus green anywhere. He'd probably try harder to kill him though once he sees his face, since he knows that its not his father but an imposter.)

It also includes what I consider a hilarious conversation: "Since I'm a clone of Bruce Wayne, does this make me your dad or your brother?" "Don't be an idiot, laeazir." "You didn't answer my question."

The biggest change that comes from this is, of course, the fact that Danny now no longer has a leg to stand on with the "you're a human, I am a ghost" excuse in order to prevent Damian to help him with ghost-fighting, because now Danny is also a squishy, fleshy and fragile human just like Damian. And a human who, arguably, has less combat training than Damian and no powers to make up for it.

Now, Danny in both aus are about 16-17-ish in age, so they've had time to adapt to their new vigilante-hero lifestyle, but its still not the same as Damian's training as an assassin. Damian, unlike in the original clone au, remains insistent on his want to help Danny.

And,,, eventually wears him down after weeks or months of sneaking out after him, helping in fights, interfering, arguing, etc. Danny eventually agrees, exhausted, but he makes Damian promise, promise, that he will be careful and to focus on dodging and distraction. At least until Danny can figure out a safer alternative. He wants him as far removed from the fight as he can, he's a child for ancient's sake, after all.

Which is another issue too - if we follow Damian Clone timeline, then Damian is six years old when this happens. I'll be point blank, I do not see Danny ever actually agreeing to let a literal 6 year old go with him. SO, solution, I bump Damian's age to 7 when he arrives in the Fenton Family, and make him freshly eight years old when he finally gets Danny to agree.

It still SUCKS. He is still very much an itty bitty child, but as someone who has seen the difference between a six year old and an eight year old due to working at a daycare, an eight year old is still... slightly feasible. And an 8 year old assassin even more so (even if he hasn't trained properly in nearly a year or so)

So Danny, reluctantly, agrees to let Damian come with him on patrols.

He ghost-proofs Damian's sword (as he has since learned to do with his bat and jawbreakers), makes him a grappling hook and a Fenton thermos, and reluctantly lets Damian come with in his old LoA uniform that he appeared in (with some tailoring and ghost-proofing, because he has since begun to grow out of the uniform).

(and Danny himself also finally starts looking into alternatives to improve his own "suit" - which is all but a hoodie and reinforced jeans and a hockey mask. He needs to set an example to his little brother, goddammit.)

Then, as they're planning for Damian's eventual (dreaded on Danny's part) debut, they sit in their shared room and brainstorm for what to call Damian. "Ellie already uses the name Spirit." Danny says, sitting criss-cross at his desk with the eraser nub of a pencil chewed between his teeth.

(Behind him he has an investigative corkboard set up -- his accident left him with the ability to see ghosts not capable of being seen on the visible plane. 'Stereotypical' ghosts. Between school work, his social life, and ghost fighting, some of his downtime is spent figuring out ways to help them move on. His most recent is a cold case.)

(Bc with Danny, I loove to have him have some sort of trait that ties him in with his original counterpart. Nature vs Nurture and all that. Investigative work can be part of that.)

"What about Wraith?" Damian suggests from the floor, leaning against the bed frame while he goes over one of his english books. They've been practicing his reading and writing.

Danny furrows his brows. "A ghost seen typically shortly after or before someone's death?"

Damian nods. "Yes, it's of a similar cadence to 'Batman and Robin'."

"What's with you and your thing with Batman and Robin?" Danny asks with a playful half-smile, Damian shrugs and looks at his books. Danny sticks the eraser back between his incisors. "Phantom and Wraith... that works, though."

The first night out together, Danny fusses over Damian, making sure every bit of uniform was secured and in place -- something Damian took mild offense over. His outfit was far more reinforced than the juvenile get-up that his older brother wore.

But he let him fuss anyways. It made him loved.

"Now remember, Wraith--"

Damian interrupts him: "Yes, I know, Dany. Avoid and distract. Stay situationally aware. I fear that is something I should be telling you, however. Mother would have your head if she ever saw what your training was like."

(It was, not for the first time, that Damian wondered how his,,, "mother",,, would react if she ever met Danyal. Not good, he knows.)

Danny's shoulders sag, and he sighs. "I believe that, what with that super-secret spy--"

"Assassin."

Danny sends him a half-hearted chagrined look, "Assassin," he corrects, "organization that made you. I'm sure I'd give your mother an aneurysm." When he's finally okay with whatever make-believe issues he found with his suit, Danny reaches for the nearby side table and carefully slips on a black domino mask over Damian's eyes. It was thin, flexible, and made with some kind of material that Danny reassured was environmentally safe.

("Some kind of matieral that Wayne Industries invented awhile ago, Sam bought it for me." Danny told him when he first showed it to him.)

It was also cold. But the chill was made up for, slightly, with Danny's warmer hands smoothing it out over his skin, and ridding of any ridges that could form. Damian isn't sure entirely what Danyal did to keep it stuck onto his face, but when he touches it with his fingers he feels a very faint seam at the edge, and it doesn't budge against his hands. It felt like a second skin.

"There we go." Danny smiles, pulling his hands back. He still looks nervous. "It's not the same as my hockey mask," which sat atop his head, ready to be pulled down, "but I think a domino mask will work better for you considering your background."

He was right, a hockey mask would only hurt Damian's peripheral vision. This mask was thin enough that it didn't.

"Ready to go, Wraith?"

"After you, Phantom."

+++

Damian has much issue with Danny's suit. He can think of a million ways to make it better. It is one of the things he and Samantha Manson can get along with, and the few times they have spent time together they have brainstormed suit ideas. He knows that since Danny took him on as Wraith, he has started to look into better suit alternatives.

However. They are both aware of the same thing:

Danny is not Batman, nor Superman, nor Wonder Woman, nor Aquaman, or the Flash, or Green Arrow, or Nightwing, or any single hero on the public roster. He is also not rich like Lex Luthor or Vlad Masters or Bruce Wayne himself.

He has no money and no contacts, and thus, no way of properly improving his suit to be something even half as safe as the other supers.

And he refuses to let Samantha Manson help him find a way to fix that - even with all that money, Samantha Manson is on an allowance from her parents, and also, despite her other range of abilities, not capable of getting those materials without putting herself on a list of some sort. They are at a standstill.

Damian knows this, because he has asked.

Until one day when Danny is talking about a case he is working on and telling Damian about old adventures he had in the Ghost Zone, does he see his brother get hit with a lightbulb.

He slaps a hand against his forehead and straightens up from his swivel seat. He huffs a laugh, "Of course! Why didn't I think of it sooner?" And he turns on his heel and hurries to his bookshelf, pulling down a notebook and flipping open to an empty page.

Damian frowns, "Laeazir?"

"I know you don't like my suit, Damian," Danny says, striding over to his desk and snatching a pencil out of a cup. He begins jotting something down on the notebook. "And there's nothing I can really do about it because, well, I'm poor in comparison to my facesake, and I don't have the resources to get my hands on someone who would make me a new suit."

"Yes, we have talked about this..." Damian nods slowly, still frowning, and trying to follow his brother's line of reasoning.

Danny shoots him a megawatt, half-tilt smile, his hair tied up into a half-bun. "But! I was thinking about it from the wrong angle. I don't have the living resources to help me get a suit, but..." he trails off, staring at Damian intently.

It dinged in Damian's brain to where he was going, "But you have the undead resources instead." He says, his eyes widening slowly. Of course, of course! Danyal was ridiculously charismatic by accident, and Damian has seen plenty of times where his heart-of-gold had one or two non-hostile ghosts be incredibly grateful to him.

His brother makes a loud, 'ding-ding-ding!' sound, pointing his pencil at Damian as his smile stretches further across his face. In a few quick strides, he was sat down next to Damian and showing him his notebook. "Correct! When I first started out as Phantom a few years ago, I managed to help a ghost who called herself Taylor, and apparently she was a seamstress both in and out of life."

Damian watches as Danny writes the name at the top of the paper, and creates bullet-points down the page. "She said that in return for saving her, I should come find her in the Ghost Zone if I ever need clothes made for me. It's a one-time thing, but I was thinking that she could perhaps help make me a new suit."

Danny turns a bit pink at the ears, and rubs his neck, "I never thought much of it because I didn't think I'd ever go into the Ghost Zone, or ever need ghost clothes, so I forgot about it up until now."

A scoff forces itself out of Damian's mouth, but he is smiling. "Danyal, you are the smartest idiot I have ever met."

For the next hour, both he and Danny make a bullet point list of what both of their suits would need. Reinforcement in certain areas, gauntlets with reinforced knuckles to replace Danyal's jawbreakers. A different weapon than a bat.... a utility belt, reinforced boots. Anything they could think of.

It was Damian's idea to add a cloak to both of their suits, asymmetrical and torn at the edges for a more 'ghostly' look. They have a theme, after all. It's quite fun.

Then Danyal calls up Sam for help in drafting up design ideas. And while Danyal steps mostly to the side when it comes to the design itself, Damian and Sam fill pages with designs until coming up with one they both agreed on and like.

"What about a lightning bolt on the chest?" "Why are we using my traumatic accident as a symbol of my identity?" "Ghosts do it all the time, Danny. Ember sings about her death." "I'm not dead?" "No that won't work, Manson. Shazam already has a giant lighting bolt emblem." "Okay, but I still want to use it somewhere." "How about this?" "...That could work. Okay, now onto your emblem--"

Last was the hard part: getting into the Ghost Zone without the Fenton parents noticing the disappearance of their precious Fenton Specter Speeder. They employed Jazz's help with that. She would get the Fentons out of the house long enough for him and Danny to get into the ghost zone, hopefully find the seamstress, and cash in that favor.

They went through with their plan that following weekend. Danny tossed Damian a small jumpsuit as they both climbed into the specter speeder, but did not grab his own. He had a small duffle bag on him that he threw under the seat.

"What is this?" Damian asks, nose scrunching up at the gaudy picture of Jack Fenton's face square at the center of the chest. He held it far away from it, as if it had a disease.

"Your hazmat suit." Danny replies, settling himself into the driver's seat as the door hissed shut and he began turning it on. He had some sort of gas mask on in his lap, too small to fit Danny's head, but certainly the right size to fit Damian's. "Normally you wouldn't need it since you'd stay in the speeder, but we're both getting out once we find Taylor. It's to protect you from the ectoplasm."

A scowl forces itself across Damian's face, "You don't have one." He points out, finding seat in the passenger chair next to Danny. His arms cross over his chest, and he was not pouting.

Danny looks at him amusedly, "I have enough ectoplasm in my body that I don't need one, you however, do not." He retorts, poking a finger into Damian's ribcage pointedly. "If you don't put it on now, you'll put it on when we find Taylor."

Damian's scowl deepens, feeling petulant as he sunk into his chair. Danny turns back to the console and flips a few more switches. "I will not, it looks ridiculous." He turns it around to show Danny the Jack Fenton Face.

The Specter Speeder hums to life, and there's a moment of turbulence as it lifts off the ground. While it does, Danny turns back to him blankly, stares at the emblem, and then reaches forward and yanks it off with a scriiiiich of the emblem. He crumples it up with one hand, and throws it into a small bin at his feet.

"There, fixed." He smiles. Then turns back to the controls, taking the yoke with both hands. "And I'm calling Dad Rights; you will put it on when we find Taylor or you'll stay in the speeder."

Damian sputters, sitting up incredulously. "You are not my father." He argues.

"Teeechnically, I am." Danny says, "I'm a clone of your father, and since I am fully his clone, that makes you my son by a technicality." He says cheerfully, pushing the specter speeder forward and into the swirling green portal.

Before Damian can retort, they're passing through the portal. This was his first time going into the Ghost Zone, and for a few seconds there was nothing but bright, swirling green filling his vision. His body felt like it was being twisted and pulled, his up and down reversing and returning. It was painless, but dizzying.

It only lasts for a few seconds, but it feels like a minute, and when they exit out the other side, Damian is holding his head while his vision spots and swims. Internally, he felt like those cartoon characters when their eyeballs rolled around in their head.

The dizziness fades away slowly, and as Damian regains his sight, he notices Danny's hand splayed over his sternum, gently keeping him pressed against his seat. It fell away when Danny saw that he was alright.

"Put your seatbelt on," Danny orders, nodding to his chair. Damian listens absently, before remembering their conversation before they went through the portal.

"That is not how it works." He scowls, and, annoyingly, only gets a challenged eyebrow raise from Danny. He could see the words written on his face without Danyal ever having to say it.

Because, dangit, he was technically right. Damian refuses to say this aloud. He screws his jaw shut, and crosses his arms back across his chest.

Danny chuckles under his breath, and turns his eyes back to the ghost zone. "My point still stands, either you wear the suit, or you don't leave the speeder."

"Fine."

+++

They eventually find where the seamstress is. Through quite a lot of Danny stopping to ask questions with any friendly ghost he came across, they eventually locate an island with a strange, urban city bustling with life on it. Massive, rocky stalagmites grew from the ground, and buildings were built on top of it or around it, with strange, warping architecture.

It was oddly beautiful.

Danny parked the speeder on the side of the street with a two hour parking sign on a nearby post. As he turned off the engine, he flipped a switch on the console that darkened the windows. He unbuckles his seat, and stood up, stretching out his back with a deep groan.

"Alright, put your suit on. The windows are tinted, so nobody should be able to see into the speeder." He orders, pulling out the duffle he brought in earlier and unzipping it. He pulls out his hockey mask and the hoodie he wore out for patrol, and the notebook they'd been using to jot down ideas for their suit.

Danny even had the hindsight to write in their respective heights, and with Tucker's help, some of their measurements. While he did that, Damian sourly pulled on his hazmat suit, irritated by the need to wear it.

Unfortunately, he also had to wear the boots and gloves for 'extra precaution'. Damian nearly bites out a grumpy 'you're as paranoid as father', but holds his tongue. He wasn't going to tell Danyal that secret.

Once he was done and Danny has his hockey mask and hoodie on, Danny grabs the gas mask and helps fit it over Damian's face. It was a sleek, simple design, shaped similarly to a regular face mask, with little filters on both sides of the mouth and a clear, protective covering around the eyes and forehead. Danyal improved it from the original his parents made.

He was smarter than he gave himself credit for.

Danny checks, then double checks that it the mask is tight, then smiles. Patting Damian's shoulders before standing up fully. "Taylor's shop should be somewhere nearby." He says, grabbing the notebook and tucking it under his arm.

Damian nods, and follows him out the door and onto the busy streets.

Finding Taylor becomes remarkably quick now that they were inside her city - something that Damian silently wondered was based loosely off NYC. Danny kept a firm arm around Damian's shoulders the entire time they walked down the street, keeping the both of them on the inside sidewalk.

Barely anyone passed them a second glance, spare the few odd looks shot at Damian. Danny whispers to him the first time it happens that it's because he has no ghost core, those more attune to their signatures might've been picking up on it.

They didn't notice Danny, because he had one, albeit a weak one.

Taylor's shop has a big sign on it in logographic writing that Damian has no idea how to read. The text shifts slowly, a jambled squiggle of lines, dots, and connected curves that look like a mix of messy cursive, gibberish, and logographic alphabets. He only knows its Taylor's shop because Danny pulls them towards it, stating that it was the place.

"You can read that?" He asks, incredulous as they draw closer to the door. Danny moves his arm off his shoulder, and wraps his fingers around Damian's instead.

"Yep," He replies, then scrunches his nose up, "sort of. It's - uh--" he stumbles over a word that Damian's ears cannot comprehend, but fills his head with slight static regardless. Danny winces. "It's the written form of ghostspeak, but since I'm not a ghost, I can only read some of it. Like uh, dyslexia."

"...I see." Damian says after a moment of silence, trying to replay the word in his head. His mind can't grasp the sound.

When they enter, the door doesn't ding with the sound of a bell, but rather it makes a low scream. Nobody bats an eye to the sound, keeping to their slow search through the racks of clothes.

At the counter was a woman talking quietly to another woman, one of whom Danny recognizes, as he walks over to her.

He doesn't need to say anything, because the woman behind the counter sees him coming, and her face positively lights up with delight. "Phantom!" She cries, and gestures to come over. "I was wondering when in the high ancients you were going to come see me!"

Danny's face is obscured by his mask, but Damian knows he's smiling sheepishly with the way he tilts his head and the way he tenses his shoulders. "My bad, Miss Taylor," he says, reaching the counter and standing beside the woman she was talking to, "It kinda... slipped my mind."

Taylor waves her hand dismissively, "Well you are here now!" She replies, grinning wide. Then her eyes pop open - literally - and she puts a hand over her chest. "Oh, how rude of me!" She turns and gestures between Phantom and the lady next to him, "Miss Mabam, this is Phantom. I told you about him a couple of years ago. He saved me from humans. Phantom, this is Gigi Mabam, she funds my shop. In return I make clothes for her and her staff."

The 'Gigi' woman turns just as Danny does, and smiles wide at him. Damian narrows his eyes at her, shuffling behind Danny legs as he looked her up and down. She had silvery-white hair and purple skin, and wore a darker purple business suit, a red gem cravat at her collar, and teal cat-eye glasses.

There was a lot of purple.

"So this is the ghost-touched you were telling me about, dear!" The woman, Mabam, said. Her voice was rich and low but she spoke in a whimsical cadence. It made Damian's skin crawl, and his narrowed eyes turned into a glare. "I must thank you for saving my seamstress, it would've been quite a fizzy-wink if she had been lost to those ghosty hunters."

What were those nonsense words? Damian hated it.

"Miss Mabam here runs a five-star hotel nearby," Taylor explains, her body turned to Danny, "she also is in charge of the city's Battle Nexus."

Danny is silent for a moment, and his free hand lifts and places itself on the back of Damian's head, keeping him close. "Battle Nexus...?"

Mabam claps cheerfully, laughing low, "Oh yes! Ghosts from all around the zone come to attend and watch as their fellow haunties are ripped from limbity-limb in a blood-curdling battle!"

Danny is still as stone. "I see." He says, careful. Damian wraps his fingers around his pant leg. "Well, I hate to interrupt your conversation, but I was hoping to cash in that favor, Miss Taylor?"

"Of course! What do you need?"

Danny looks down at Damian, and he looks up at him, locking eyes with the ominous green glowing from the eyeslits of his mask. He nods, and Danny looks back up. "Do you know how to make suits? Of the protective kind?"

+++

The seamstress it turns out, is capable of such a thing. And she ushers the both of them into one of the backrooms, sending off Mabam with a farewell and a promise to continue their conversation soon.

She flips through their design book, and immediately gets to work making their suits. In the end, with the help of her powers, she gets both done over the span of four hours. It's longer than both Danny and Damian want, but neither rush her.

Damian just hopes that Jasmine can keep the Fenton parents distracted for that long. She will have to.

The suits are better in real life than on paper, and Damian preens from the side in his own custom suit as Danny examines his own in front of the three mirrors. They were both dressed in all black, but whatever fabric Taylor used was of a blackest-black, turning Danyal - and Damian's - bodies into a black hole to look at. Both of them were fitted for agility, with reinforced padding around their shoulders and chests, as well as around the joints of their legs. Their boots were reinforced as well.

("It was hard to make your boots shock absorbent," Taylor explains, "since we all fly, but I applied similar stuff to what I did with your shoulders and chestplate.")

On the side of Danyal's legs were raised, black, lichtenberg-like figures that were contained to the seams and disappeared under his boots. There were similar designs going up his sleeves, with spiked gauntlets wrapped around his lower arm and hands. The knuckles were reinforced, just like he wanted.

Damian's favorite parts were their capes, however. Black like the rest of the outfit, but "wrapped" around their shoulders like an apocalyptic shawl with a back that went down to their knees, and at the hems the capes were torn and ripped like a wraith. Danyal's mask had gone through very little change. It was made of a stronger material, and Taylor had gone and made it more skull-like in its shape, with three large grills at the front, and the sides curving inward below the 'cheekbones' of the skull to better fit his face. It was still shock white, the only white part of Danyal's entire costume.

Damian's suit was almost identical. However, rather than having the seams of his suit resemble lichtenberg figures, the seams of his sleeves and upper torso were that of a black skeleton, with bone-y designs over his gauntlets and the fingers an ombre of dark red-to-black. And around his torso were raised lines that looked similar to a ribcage. The edge of his cloak was splatter a dark red as well. And he had a new domino mask that looked similar to the upper half of Danyal's mask, with the outer edges curved downward over his cheekbones. He was briefly allowed to take off the upper part of his gas mask to try on the mask.

The best part however, was that since the suits were made of material native to the ghost zone, they could also be taken off quickly and hidden in a small artifact. It was magic, is what it was. Danyal chose earrings, and Damian chose a ring.

When they got back to the Fenton house, Jazz demands a box of chocolate for her hard work. Damian thinks that's only fair as Danny takes them both out to get candy for Jazz.

+++

But other than vigilante stuff, not else much changes. Danny gets to pull a "Dad By Technicality Rule" card over Damian when he's being a brat. Danny doesn't have his run in with Rift (a ghost who portals him into Gotham) until after he meets Damian/lets Damian join him on patrol and when they get new suits.

My reason? Because I want it to happen after that point in time lol. It also makes the eventual "heyyyyy you have a clone" @ bruce much funnier to me because not only does he have a clone of HIMSELF but also THAT clone has a clone of Damian living with him.

Also when Danny destabilizes for the first time Damian is terrified for his safety. The fentons are surprisingly good at cloning, Danny hasn't had any issues up until this point in time, and that's only because he got hit with a new gun from Skulker that messed up the ectoplasm he had in his dna, which in term fucked with his own DNA.

Danny's destabilization, imo, is not "I cast you with Melt" he's not Ellie, he's not made of 50% ectoplasm. His parents surprisingly knew what they were doing, and he was human. So his destabilization should be unique to himself and different. Thus his destabilization is "I cast you with Compromised Immune System" his body slowly weakens over time as his cells destabilize. He becomes unnaturally frail and sick. Damian calls Ellie for help when Danny doesn't get up after being hit in a fight that he normally, and Ellie helps figure out that he's destabilizing. This is whats gonna happen in OG clone au too, but Ellie is going to be there rather than Damian.

It makes going to Wayne Manor after that slightly more interesting,,,

[kassandraqueenn]

Once in a blue moon i always log into my tumblr account just so i can comfortably express myself because no one is watching..

I dont know how i got here again and its eating me alive trying to figure it out. my aunt thinks i havent been myself since dannys death and i think shes right. how can someone you share a person with just up and leave this world. no more breathing, no more laughing, just no more life. His death hit me hard. i didnt truly grieve how i wanted to because as a mother how can you let yourself crumble entirely? you cant. you have to be strong for your children because as a parent youre the strongest person they know. i cant allow myself to be weak in front of aaliyah. The only time im able to truly fall apart is when aaliyah is with her nina and im drinking. i dont know how to express myself sober. once the alcohol starts to set in my mouth just goes like i put fresh batteries in. i have no care in the world who is in the room either. if im aching i spill. I remember the last few nights in the apartment in la mirada. i was the last one drinking and i broke down. the tears wouldnt stop pouring out. i know it hasnt been easy trying to share a child with danny but that man gave me the best gift the world can offer somebody. danny at one point, was my everything. we met when we were 14 so how can he not be. towards the end of his days we got closer , we talked a lot came up with the problems and the solutions to be better at co parenting together. everything was great and then one day i get the call that hes in the icu. fighting for his life. at that moment my heart dissolved completely out of my chest. i couldnt remember how to breathe anymore and i disassociated from reality. i caught myself and grounded into reality again and i didnt know what to feel. i went to go visit him twice during his time in the icu and i had no emotions i didnt know how to process it. death is inevitable. and he passed so quickly. i went to see him at the funeral. aaliyah went up without me and talked to him for a bit. as for me? i didnt go up until it was almost time to leave. seeing him in that coffin did something to me. laying there lifeless when he used to be so full of life. his tattoos. his smile. his sarcasm. his everything. just empty. his sister went up with me and was telling me stories how he would tell them i was being crazy as usual but he was the one who started everything. god i miss him so much. i think one of my biggest regrets is not answering his calls and facetimes every single time he called. not texting him back not letting him see aaliyah. it bothers me and it will always bother me. its one of my biggest regrets and danny i am so sorry. but doing what i did is a part of the trauma that i was left with after everything he did to get into prison after still getting to go out and be a person with a life while i was at home being a parent doing everything. spending every dime i have on her while he gave me nothing. i didnt think it was fair for him to come and go. and like i said towards the end when we were getting better i was slowly opening up myself to him and then he just dies? how is that fair? why couldnt i get more time with him when everything was finally falling into place. how is that fair? i want him back. i want more time with him. i want him to know that hes always had a special place in my heart for him. i dont hate him as much as i told him i did. i just dont know. my heart aches every day for him. and my heart also aches for aaliyah. i wanted her to grow up with a dad because i never had that chance i missed my dad growing up but he was alive. i wanted a bond with my dad and now im finally going arounf him more and thats what i wanted for aaliyah and now she will never know what thats like she wont get that chance and i ache for her. i feel like every time i start to get close to someone again they leave or god takes them from me. maybe thats why i push everyone away because itll be easier to have no feelings when someone finally leaves vs feeling everything and hurting when they do leave. i just wanto be okay again.  

[shipskicksandgiggles]

Title: Or Whatever

Pairing(s): Harley Keener x Peter Parker

Summary: You know how college students are. Ridiculous, a little thick in the head, and always ready to party. 

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drunk college students

AO3 Link: x

A/N: I wrote this a month ago and forgot so here. it’s them at a frat party

~~~

“Please tell me that coffee doesn’t have alcohol in it,” the guy walking up to Harley said. 

Harley slid a mug across the counter. “Cross and heart and hope to die, man. I gotta drive for some of these assholes.”

“Oh, you’re an angel.” The guy took a sip of the coffee and groaned. “Fuck me, this is the best coffee I’ve ever had.”

“Hi, I’m Harley the barista making everyone’s dreams come true at frat parties,” he introduced himself. “Turns out having espresso under your nails 4 hours a day, 5 days a week is good for something.”

“Damn son,” he whistled appreciatively. “I’m Will by the way. You here with anybody?”

“Got some friends here. Ned Leeds, one of the guys from the house, dragged me out. Claims I’m too anti-social, which is funny because he was anti-social not even a year ago. So I know him and a couple of other buddies I went to high school with, but that’s it.”

“Not from around here, huh?” Will asked. 

“Nope. My bad for wanting to major in aerospace engineering in another state and not wanting to know a single person there.”

Will barked out a laugh. “Aerospace engineering?”

“Don’t even. If my dad had his way I’d be a mechanical engineer like I haven’t been building circles around those losers since I was 16. Enough about me though, what do you do?”

“Basic as hell, but I’m a psych major. Love seeing how the human brain works, yknow?”

Harley nodded, staring off into the crowd. “You’d like my friend MJ. She’s crazy about that kinda shit.”

“She over with them?” He nodded to the group of people Harley was looking at. 

“Nah, I think she went out back to flirt with a girl. Just keepin’ an eye on the rest of my friends so they don’t do something stupid. They should be fine for now though. Tell me about yourself Will.”

~~~

“You’re playing truth or dare.”

“Wh- huh?”

Ned had grabbed Peter’s sleeve and was dragging him over to a group of people sitting in a circle on the floor. “Guys this is Peter, he’s a friend. Be nice.”

They were met with a series of drunken greetings and Ned dropped to the ground, pulling Peter down with him. “Why am I doing this?”

“Because I’m not letting you sit on the wall all night and this is the fastest way to get you drunk.”

“You played truth or dare before, pretty boy?” a new voice asked. 

Peter looked at the guy who’d spoken and smiled. “Once or twice.”

“Name’s Danny, sweet thing, but I can’t think but to imagine how you’d sound calling me Da-”

“Not interested.”

He heard Ned snort as the guy tossed his hands up. “Understood. Grab a shot, and when you can’t go through with something, drink.”

Someone handed him a shot of something that smelled really strong. “Alright. Let's get this thing started then, shall we?”

~~~

A little while later, Peter was definitely hammered. He started by only asking for truth questions, but all the questions were… were… invasive as hell to say the least. 

Asking who you have a crush on is one thing, asking about the last thing you did sexually with another person… that’s another. 

So he drank. 

And drank. 

And drank. 

Now he was past tipsy, but it felt nice. Light even. He heard his laughs coming out louder and louder. It felt good. 

When he let his head roll to the side a little, he caught a glimpse of Harley talking to someone he didn’t know. “Hey Ned? Ned!”

“What’s up?”

“Who’s um. Who’s talkin’ to Harley?”

Ned snickered. “That’s Will. He’s a good guy, and Harley’s just his type. Jealous?”

He scrunched up his face. “Why’d I be jealous? Jus’ wanted to know his name ‘s all. Maybe I wanna take ‘im home.”

“I’m sure.” Ned rolled his eyes. “Who’s up?”

A girl off to Peter’s right, Ana maybe, squealed. “I just went! Truth or dare, Ned.”

He chose truth, but Peter barely heard his answer. It was lucky he didn’t miss Ned asking him next. 

“Dare.” Shit, he really must be drunk. 

“I dare you to go kiss Harley.”

“But-”

“You either kiss him or drink, man.”

Peter glanced back at Harley and caught his eye. Harley cocked his head a little and frowned as if to ask him what was wrong.

“Fine.”

~~~

He almost missed it, but Peter was definitely looking at him funny. Harley watched him almost stumble as he stood up from the circle, completely missing what Will was saying as Peter made his way over. 

“Hey baby, whatsa matter?”

Peter positioned himself between his legs and let Harley rest his arms around his waist. “Got dared to kiss you.”

“Mhmm. How many drinks have you had, sweetheart?”

“Jus’ a few.”

“A few too many, I think.”

His pout was absolutely adorable, and Harley had to resist the urge to kiss it off his face. “‘M fine.”

“Peter, you’re drunk.”

“Doesn’t matter. I gotta kiss you or I gotta drink, those are the rules.”

“Okay, how about I make you a new set of rules, huh? I will kiss you-” Peter’s face brightened- “if you drink this bottle of water for me after, deal? Then you can go back, finish your turn, and tap out for the night so we can get you into bed.”

“What if I don’t wanna?”

“Then I won’t kiss you.”

He gasped as if scandalized. “You don’t mean that!”

“I don’t care that I’m your boyfriend, I reserve the right to not kiss you when you’re being ridiculous. Tap out, love, I think you’ve had enough.”

“What about Ned and MJ?”

“MJ left with somebody and will be picked up in the morning. She texted me her location already so I can make sure she’s safe. Ned can either find a ride or stay here, and based on how much he’s had to drink tonight, he’s probably just gonna stay here. It’s time to go, bubs.”

“They dunno we’re dating.”

“Not yet.”

“You think Ned’ll figure it out?”

Harley glanced over Peter’s shoulder at him. Ned was smirking like he finally got his way with something. “Unfortunately I have known Ned for too long, and he currently thinks he has the upperhand, so I guess we’re just gonna have to let him know, huh?”

Peter smiled and straightened up a little. “I’ll tap out. Kiss now?”

He shook his head and laughed, but tugged Peter closer to kiss him softly. 

“You taste like coffee,” Peter told him. 

“You taste like tequila.”

“Yeah, but coffee is just so you. I love it.”

“I thought you hated coffee.”

He lolled his head to one side. “I mean sure, but you always smell like coffee and you usually taste like it too. It’s not bad if it's you.”

“Anybody ever tell you that you’re a sap?”

“Yeah, you.”

“Good. Take a sip please.” He held the bottle to Peter’s lips and encouraged him to drink some of it. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Peter shook his head and leaned back so Harley had to tighten his arms around his waist just so he wouldn’t fall. “Can we go now?”

“Go finish your turn, baby. I have to put this mug in the sink and then I’ll be right over, huh? We can get food on the way home.”

“Okay!”

Harley slid off his stool once Peter walked away and set his mug in the sink before tossing the old coffee filter and starting a new batch. 

“Didn’t realize you had a boyfriend.”

He’d completely forgotten about Will. “Yeah. He’s kinda cute or whatever,” he said nonchalantly, but he couldn’t keep the smile out of his eyes. “Always said if I dated anyone, I’d prefer to date my best friend.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Mhmm.” Harley switched on the coffee pot. “Listen man, it was great talking to you.”

“Thanks for keeping me company,” Will responded. “And if my flirting made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry.”

Harley snorted. “Good thing I am a fucking moron because I did not notice. Trust me man, you’re fine, no hard feelings. Hope you find a guy who’s not dumb as a box of rocks and is willing to take you home. Look, I gotta go but have a good night, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Peter had gotten back to the group and seemed to be engaged in conversation. 

“Ready bubs?”

 He looked up at Harley and smiled. “One sec.” Peter leaned to say something in Ned’s ear before hopping up and practically attaching himself to Harley’s side. “Bye!”

The circle chorused their goodbyes as Harley squatted down next to Ned. “Do you have a ride or should I come back and pick you up?”

Ned waved him off. “I’ll text you in the morning. Go have fun with your boyfriend, asshole. See if I introduce you to my next partner.”

“You know I’ll find out before you tell me.”

“This is why no one likes you.”

“Everyone likes me, you’re just jealous that Peter got to me before you did.” As he stood back up, he felt his knees pop. 

Apparently Ned heard it too. “You’re getting old, Keener.”

“Suck my dick, Leeds.”

“You wish!”

Harley ignored him. “Text me in the morning, and if you get murdered, call MJ. I don’t wanna pick up your corpse.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get outta here!”

“Peter? C’mon babe, car’s this way.”

Peter grinned and kissed Harley on the cheek. Harley did not miss him flipping Ned off from behind his back. 

“Behave and I’ll let you pick what food we get.”

His reaction was immediate. Peter ducked his head and held on to his sleeve. “Can we get chicken nuggets?”

“You’re a baby.”

“I’m drunk and I’m your baby. You should get me chicken nuggets.”

“Why I decided to go out with you, I have no idea.”

They reached the car, and Peter opened the passenger side door. “Please, like you could love anyone else the way you love me.”

Harley only sighed. It wasn’t like he was wrong.

[q-gorgeous]

Darkness

fanfiction

continuation of this fic

tw: horror

idek where this came from but im glad it happened

“Wait where are you going?” Dash asked as Danny started flying back down through the clouds. 

“There’s no point in staying up there.” Danny said, looking around once they broke through the clouds again. “We gotta see if we can find anything, maybe another town even if it’s not Amity Park.”

“What if we can’t find anything? Do we just wait for it to go away?”

Danny sighed. “I don’t know. We’ll just have to hope we find town so we can fix it.”

They continued on, flying through the dark fog in silence. After a while of flying, they could see an orange light glowing in the distance. 

“Danny, I see something! Over there!” Dash pointed at something through the darkness. 

Danny changed course and soon they were hovering over Fentonworks. 

“What?” Danny said quietly, looking around. “Why is this the only thing lit up? All the other lights are off.” 

He landed on the ground and set Dash down beside him. He looked up at the building, studying it, when he saw something move in the window. He started walking forward but was interrupted when Dash grabbed his hand.

“You’re going in there?” Danny turned back to see Dash looking at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah. We gotta see if the Fenton’s have any idea what’s happening.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s a good point but also you’re a ghost.” Dash’s nose scrunched up while he studied the glow Fentonworks lights. “And this feels a bit too spooky to be the Fenton’s What if they’re not even in there?”

“Then it might be where the ghost is. Come on.” Danny pulled Dash with him as he walked in the house. “Hello?”

His voice echoed eerily through the living room. The inside was nearly as dark as the forest they had been in but Danny could at least make out the shapes of the furniture. 

“Jack? Maddie? Jazz?” Danny called as he walked further into the house. The house was silent, it felt like static in his ears. He was about to start going up the stairs when he heard the creak of the basement door.

“Did you hear that?” He asked, heading towards the sound. 

“Isn’t that where their lab is?” Dash asked, voice raising in pitch. “Why do you want to follow a weird noise into their lab? This is the exact thing you’re not supposed to do in horror movies.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a horror movie. Besides nothing else would’ve made the door squeak like that except someone opening it so the Fenton’s must be here.”

Pushing the door open, they started to head down the stairs into the lab. The air was colder here. It felt thicker too. Once they reached the bottom Danny scanned the room for someone who would’ve made the door squeak. His eyes landed on Maddie sitting at one of the tables. 

“Maddie! Do you know what’s going on? Everything’s dark outside, you can’t see through any of the fog and-”

Danny stopped, backing up into Dash’s chest as he watched Maddie’s head spin around on her neck to face him. 

“Why isn’t it Danny, Danny Phantom.”

“What- who are you? Where’s Maddie.”

The thing sitting at the table chuckled. It stood up, walked backward until it was right in front of him and realigned its body with its head. 

“I think the question you should be asking is where are you.”

The thing tapped Danny on the nose with a long, boney finger and he swatted the hand away. 

“What do you mean where we are? We’re at Fentonworks.”

“Tsk tsk tsk. Such a shame you’ve gotten stuck in this between realm. This isn’t your Fentonworks, this is my Fentonworks.”

“What?” Dash piped up from behind Danny. “How could we be anywhere else? We were just walking in the woods.”

The thing’s black eyes darted to Dash and a sharp smile curled onto its face. 

“You’ve even got a human with you, how delicious.”

Danny glared at the creature as he pushed Dash further away. “How did we get here?”

“Sometimes natural portals show up on their own, sometimes a human manages to walk through a hidden portal that someone fixed in place.” The thing bent down towards Danny’s eye level, a sharp smile still worn on its face.

“And sometimes it’s because someone’s hungry.”

The creature lunged at them, teeth bared in a smiling hiss. Danny tackled Dash out of the way onto the floor, turning them invisible as they went. The creature laughed behind them.

“It’s cute that you can turn invisible. A pity that you think that’ll hide you here.”

Suddenly the thing was looking into Danny’s invisible eyes and he rolled away before it’s nails could claw across his face. Dragging Dash with him, Danny looked for a way out, anything that looked like a portal. 

Wait… A portal. 

In the back wall, this creature had its own portal. It’s doors were rusted and Danny wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t work but it was their best shot. 

“Dash.” He whispered. “We have to get that portal open. If we can, hopefully it’ll lead us into the same ghost zone as ours.”

Dash’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “Are you serious?! You want to ditch this monster for a gazillion more?!”

“It’s the only chance we have!” Danny said in a loud whisper. “You saw what it was like out there. There's either no one there who can help us or they’re all gonna want to eat us!”

“But-” Dash paused, his brows furrowing. “Us? Why would they want to eat you? You’re dead.”

A voice was suddenly next to Danny’s ear, sending the hairs on his neck standing.

“Yes, Danny, why would we possibly want to eat you?”

Danny pushed them away from the creature who had made its way right up to them. It still smiled at them, a knowing smile, and Danny’s eyes widened. 

“Dash we have to get that portal open! Now!” Danny shouted, pulling Dash behind him as he ran towards the portal controls.

“Danny, is there something you’re not telling your little friend here?”

Danny stared at the controls trying to remember which button opened the portal. They didn’t have this set up anymore since his dad blew it up. 

“Now, it’s not nice to have secrets.”

Danny looked frantically, trying to read any labels or see any indications of an important button but everything on the control panel had faded. There wasn’t even any color to separate one from the other. 

“Danny?”

Danny turned his head to look at Dash. He was staring behind Danny with fear in his eyes. Looking over his shoulder, Danny saw the creature, it’s head hanging to one side as it stared at them. It had grown tentacles and was now towering over them. 

“Let’s show your friend what you really are.”

The thing threw a tentacle at Danny but he shot an ectoblast at it, singeing and melting whatever it was made out of. Turning back to the control panel, Danny hit the largest button hoping it was the right one and sagged in relief when he heard the portal whoosh open. 

“Come on! I got it!” Danny grabbed Dash’s hand, pulling him towards the portal. Just before Danny jumped in, the creature slid in front of them, that smile still on its face. Danny threw another ectoblast at it, and watched as it spun around him. 

Danny was turning back, pushing Dash towards the portal when a tentacle shot out and hit him in the face. He hissed in pain and felt something drip down his check.

“Danny! Are you okay? You’re bleeding-” Dash halted and he bent down to get a closer look at Danny’s face before his eyes squinted. “Why is there red in your ectoplasm?”

Ignoring Dash, Danny heard the creature coming up behind them and pushed Dash through the portal, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist so he could catch him.

Once they were in the ghost zone and floating away, Danny could hear the cackle of the creature from the other side. As its voice faded, Danny could hear it talk to him, chills traveling down his spine. 

“Don’t think you can get away so easily Danny.

“We can always find you.”

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

ellie livewatches the night manager ep. 2

forgot to mention, but this intro is bussin’

drugs? (with a rolled r)

ah shit, we’ve got a bad relationship with a parent

DAMN-

well thats just a bit rude

girlie you need therapy

omg the little boy from wonder...JACK WILL, thats who he played

god she’s tall

ooh, i’ve never made paella before, nor tried it

my brother got to drive a boat once lol. that was the first time i ever saw dolphins

ah yes, rich people shit

thats a nice lil table

you see, i’ve tried veal, (deer) in sausage form and it A. tasted weird and B. was dryas fuck. i’ll have it again, but maybe like with rice, mixed in, like i sometimes do with ground beef. it was very lean lol.

DONT GIVE THE CHILD ALCOHOL-

i mean.....he’s gulping that shit my lord

remember kids, always make sure you’ve got some water on hand, as well as food in your stomach before drinking xx (or so i’ve heard)

hehe, STOP

ooh, i do adore mr. groff’s laugh though

awwwwwww. this is a very cute moment.

w-was she a little kiddie?

like, not 5 years old, but like a MINOR, um..hmm

oh shit

BACK OFF, BITCH YOU HAVE A CHILD IN YOUR ARM WITH A GUN CLOSE TO HIS HEAD, FUCK OFF

RUN GODDAM IT, RUN AFTER THEM

i’ll be damned if i dont run after MY kid, or someone in my family if they’ve been kidnapped.

also, this may not be EVERY KID.

but i’d be looking for weapons left and right to hurt this person, straight up. any type of exits, im looking for them. all of that.

poor baby

oh, we’re going back this time.

some backstory ehhehehehe

ah, attached memories i see

this is worrying, just a bit. my god.

JUST LIKE THAT.

i feel like he could’ve done that a bit better.

cameras???

yo why tf didn’t he day “who is it?” before opening the damn door.

i want a tea n’ biscuit too goddamn

um.........i dont know if i could do this, personally. i really couldnt. maybe im too sensitive for it lol.

jesus christ, another murder

ugh yes, he can ride motorcycles. hells yeah

THE SHADES

well thats a bit of a rude shock

thats even worse goddamn

IM SCARED

HE WAS SO SMOOTH WITH IT

GOTDAMN-

ewwww more roper

look at him go

in case yall didnt know, im VERY anti-capitalist, anti-capitalism, all that shit

this dude is just grossing me out

i miss being on my bike lol

yayyy he can cook

RIP to her at that point

i take it back.

welp.

no, actually, rip to her.

i love watching people’s eyes dilate. one of the things that i really enjoy learning about is genetics, and how different traits come about. it’s one of my favorite things. he’s got such pretty eyes too, it makes this all the better.

DAMN, PUT A PASSWORD ON YOUR PHONE

whomst the fuck was that

AYYY SHE MADE IT

he did a good pitch, if i say so myself.

ooh, a history between the two

OOOH PLOT........IT THICKENS BESTIES

thats a fair reason

i know his ass is scared

that reminded me of the one scene in family guy where stewie beats brian’s ass for not having his money. im talking blood and broken glass fighting, mind you.

UH OH

im scared

W H A T

god i hate this

OOH SHIT

i have never seen this man be this upset dear lord-

im scared of him

oh no-

wheres the body?? who’s body was it?

well fahk me innit

PERIODTTTTTT

STAY STRAPPED BITCHESSSS

damn....das hot

THIS WAS PLANNED

oh, not the pot

NOT THE FACE

..........oh lord

god, how long has he been there, and how long did it take them to get there?

im not a medical professional, but ehhh that blood looks fairly clotted, like...kinda.

idk.

damn he’s in rough shape

GET THE KID AWAY FROM THE SCENE

corky my beloved

bro wtf, this is SO TERRIFYING

woahhhh, he looks fucked up

wonderful hair, even with a fucked up face

this is such a beautiful shot, my lord.

that ambulance cut too close to the curve for me lol

u cant call dead people, ms. jed

danny ur father was right for asking you to thank the person who saved your life, HOWEVER, i do hate your dad.

awwww!! yes, i would love to hear about squids.

giving me captain james conrad vibes with the shirt color

yeah, corky’s cool (for the time being)

i like the name mordecai

speaking of which, i DID, in fact, have a crush on mordecai from regular show

i dont think smoking would be good for the cracked ribs

ah, so corky is figuring shit out

he does have nice ankles.

i dont know if he would be any good at running with CRACKED RIBS.

i would be milking everything i could if i was in his position.

he looks more upset than anything.

um.....ew

mr. frisky, i think you need some therapy for that.

get them pics.

thee river house

okay sir, shut the fuck up before i punch you through the damn screen.

angela burr my beloved.

YAYYYY. he got a lobster!! im proud of him

bruh, sit in the chair, not on this man’s thigh hairs

watch him sleep through all of tomorrow

me pretending to sleep when my mama checks in on me:

THE LOOK-

ONTO EPISODE THREEE-!

[cherrysunflowers]

📞😍 and 📞😠 and 📞🥴 for muses of your choice !

the fact that we spent over a half hour figuring this out,,,,

~ a loving call from persephone to hades:

“ hi lovebug... you’re probably in a meeting right now, but i’m at the grocery store, and i picked up some ingredients for baklava so that i can finally teach you how to make it. but we need to set some ground rules! you can’t distract me like last time, even though that was quite nice... anyways- i just thought this would cheer you up, since i know you’ve been so stressed. you’ve been working so hard recently... you deserve a break. i think the underworld can survive one day without their king, so that he can take a breather. call me back once you get the time, okay? i love you, and i’ll send you some photos of the dogs once i get home. i taught blue how to shake a paw today, and i'm really excited to show you. okay- im getting off track. i love you, my king. bye. ” 

~ an angry call from margo to jesse:

“ hey, uh... where are you? i was at the warehouse and nicholas told me something really interesting about you getting drunk last night and ending up at a tattoo parlour... look, i-i know things have been really tough lately, and that its easy to fall back into old habits but, jess... we've gotten through worse... and- and what about danny? he’s counting on you! he looks up to you! i wanna help you, baby, i really do, but... i can’t do that unless you come home and talk to me... please, baby... i'm so worried about you... please, call me when you can so that i know you're safe, okay? i love you... ”

~ a drunk call from nicky to maureen

“ moooooo! i dont... i’on remember dialling your number, but... god, why is holding a phone so much fucking work? i j’st wann’ed to let you know... that you're so fucking hot! i looooove your ass. like... woah. i j’st... i wish you were here... i need someone to cuddle... im fuck’n lonely, and jess fuckin’ sucks, because hes a sober little BITCH. - I DIDN’ SAY ANYTHING! STOP EAVESDROPPING ON MY LIFE, DAD- I MEAN JESSE! - an’ways... i fuckin’ love you... you're great, and i don’t fuckin’ deserve you... im also about to get beat up by jess, so I think you should pick up and maybe call the cops... I love youuuu... and your butt. okay. mbye.” 

[ghostsray]

Ch2: Flowers

(prev - next)

"Danny, your clone is adorable," Sam said.

Danny looked away from the plant he was observing and said, "You mean Niel?"

Sam tapped her chin. "Well, Danielle is adorable too. But yes, im talking about Niel, considering he's the one I saw yesterday."

"Oh yeah, you went to Vlad's mansion, right?" Tucker asked from where he was seated among a group of potted plants. "How was he like?"

Sam shrugged. "Like Danny, except peppier, and with a better appreciation for goth culture."

"You turned my clone goth?"

Sam stopped spraying her venus flytrap to point at Danny and say, "Hey, he's his own person, thank you very much."

Tucker leaned back and stared out the greenhouse walls. "I feel left out. How come both of you get to meet this new clone--er, person? I want to see him too..." He trailed off, staring at something in the distance, then pointed out and asked, "Is that him?"

Considering the timing, Danny almost thought Tucker was joking, but then he followed his finger and saw that Niel was, indeed, walking toward Sam's greenhouse. He didn't look very goth in Danny's opinion, although his hair was shaved on one side--but that was more punk than goth. As he got closer, Danny noticed that he was carrying a bundle of yellow flowers in his hand.

Sam went to the greenhouse's entrance and opened the doors to greet him. "So, did you get my adress from the mayor or from Google Earth?" she said.

Niel rubbed his neck nervously. "Did I do something wrong?"

"'Course not, Dracula. Come in." She made way for him, then eyed the flowers and asked, "Are those for me?"

Niel held them out, blushing slightly. "Danny said you like flowers. Uh, completely platonic flowers, of course."

Sam took the flowers from him. "I do like flowers," she confirmed, "though not so much cutting off flower roots and selling their corpses for money."

Niel blinked. "Oh."

Sam have a half-shrug. "It's fine. I'll just give it to my mom, since she loves decorating our house with flower corpses."

"I'll...be sure to get a potted plant next time."

"You better," Sam said. "Meanwhile, I'll go find somewhere to place these dead flowers so they can provide some decoration while they rot away."

Niel looked mortified as she left the greenhouse and went indoors. As soon as she was gone, Tucker burst into laughter.

"Oh man, you should see your face. Nobody is ever prepared for ultra-recyclo-vegan Sam."

Danny watched Niel with a smile as the younger boy glared at Tucker. He nodded at his hair and said, "Nice hairdo."

Niel ran a hand over the shaved part of his head. "It was Sam's idea. Something to make me look different from you." He looked across the various plants in the greenhouse and said, "She really does like plants, doesn't she?"

"You have no idea," Tucker agreed. He gestured across the room and said, "I promise you, every plant in here, Sam named. Like, those two flowers over there--what did she name them again?"

"Hecate and Nyx," Danny supplied. "Or Nyx and Hecate. I don't remember which one's which."

Niel frowned at the twin flowers. "They look the same."

"Yeah, well, Sam has some way to tell them apart," Tucker said. He cupped his mouth with one hand and whispered conspiringly, "If you ask me, I'd say she still has plant-whisperer powers from Undergrowth."

Niel ignored Tucker. He was still scowling at the plants. "Why bother keeping two of the same kind if they're basically the same thing?"

Danny had a sneaking suspicion Niel wasn't just talking about the flowers. Either Sam really trained him to become dark and brooding, or something was troubling the boy.

"Hey," Danny asked, "things okay with your dad?"

Niel shrugged, not tearing his eyes off the plants. "I think so."

"You think?"

"They're good, I think. I mean, yeah. They are." He smiled and added, "I got him to call me by my name."

"Really? That's great," Danny said, and his tone was sincere. He knew how many times Vlad insisted on calling Niel by Danny's name. Yet, for some reason, Niel didn't look as happy as he should have been regarding the news.

Danny was about to ask him what was wrong, but Tucker chose that moment to lean forward and say, "So, are you crushing or Sam, or...?"

Niel spluttered and shouted, "I am not!"

Danny would have felt irritated at Tucker, but he had to admit seeing Niel's face turn as red as Sam's anthuriums was hilarious. Maybe that was what Tucker was going for: lightening the mood a little.

"You're not what?" Sam asked, and the three boys whipped around to see her reentering the greenhouse.

"Nothing," Niel said quickly. He scratched his cheek and turned his attention back to the flowers. "Just appreciating Nyx and Hecate here."

"Hecate and Nyx," Sam corrected.

"Yeah. That." He glanced at his wrist and said, "Um, I guess I should be leaving now."

Sam raised her eyebrows. "You just got here. Don't you want to hang out a bit?"

Danny could tell Niel wanted to, but he shook his head and said, "Dad's pretty strict about my training schedule."

"Training schedule?"

"Yeah. For my ghost powers." His eyes moved to Danny, almost out of reflex. For a long time, the clone had tried to get Danny to join him as his brother, but that was before he started questioning Vlad's integrity. Now, he just kept quiet and looked away.

Sam's lips thinned. "I dont mean to offend you, Niel, but I gotta be real with you. Your dad is kind of a--"

"A horrible villain who wants to take over the world?" Tucker said.

"--a jerk."

Niel crossed his arms, not meeting any of their eyes. "He's the only parent I have. I don't know. I don't know what to feel about him."

"I thought you said things were cool between you last night."

"I did, but..."

"But?"

Niel shook his head. "It's nothing. I better go."

The trio's eyes followed him as he left, but no one tried to stop him.

.

Niel wasn't lying about the training schedule, but the truth was, his training wasn't due for another hour. Rather than return to the mansion, he stopped by an alley on the way.

There was a fast food restaurant nearby, and he bought a takeout burger and brought it with him to a small spot nestled between two buildings. He was disappointed but not surprised when he found it empty. He wasn't sure why he expected otherwise. It would have been dumb of her to stay in one place for long.

"Looking for me?" a familiar voice spoke, and he looked up and saw Danielle Phantom appear in front of him.

"So you did stick around," Niel said.

Dani floated down, stopping before her feet touched the ground so that they were at eye level. "Well, duh. I came to Amity Park because I wanted to see you for myself, and one short conversation this morning wasn't enough for me." Her eyes drifted to the box in his hands, and they sparkled as she pointed and said, "Woah, is that a Nasty Burger?"

Niel handed the burger to her. "I thought travelling around the world homeless might have made you hungry."

"Niel, I know we only just met today, but I think you're starting to become my favorite brother." After accepting the box, she landed on the floor and transformed into human, then she took out the burger and scarfed it down.

Niel watched her with interest. Even though Vlad mentioned her often, he never kept any photo of her. All Niel knew was that she looked like Danny, but younger and female. He guessed that description was true, but it was a bit hard to notice her similarity to Danny from underneath the low wool cap and oversized hoodie she wore--not to mention her incredibly messy long hair.

Niel brought out a small yellow dandelion from his pocket and twirled it in his fingers. Dani paused eating to look at it.

"Didn't you say you were going to give those flowers to Sam?" she asked.

"I did," he replied. "I thought I might keep one to give to you, though, as a sort of welcome gift." He offered her the flower.

Dani eyed it. "I appreciate the gesture, but we're siblings."

"It's a friendship flower! Yellow flowers are for friendship, red flowers are for love."

"I don't know enough about flowers to refute that, so all right." She shrugged and accepted the flower, then after a moment's thought, placed it in her hair. "What do you think?"

"You would have looked cute, if you weren't otherwise so messy."

Dani rolled her eyes. "Pompous rich people," she grumbled, then bit into her burger again, not paying any attention to the grease that ran down her chin.

Niel wrinkled his nose. "Are you sure we're related?"

"Hey, man, ask Vlad."

Niel hesitated. He toyed with his wristwatch and asked, "Was he really that bad to you?"

Dani finished her meal and sucked her fingers. "I thought we established this earlier today. Vlad probably treats you well because you're perfect, but I wasn't so lucky. He just thinks of me as a failed experiment."

"He said your body was unstable, but you seem pretty stable to me."

She chuckled. "I'm not unstable all the time. Trust me, you won't see me looking as pretty as this when I'm emotional."

If her current appearance was pretty, Niel wasn't excited to know how she looked like unstable. Dani observed him for a moment, then said, "I have to say, you really are a nice clone."

"I thought you said I was pompous."

"You are. But you also brought me a burger and a flower instead of taking me to Vlad."

Niel's eyes widened. "Why would I do that?"

"To gain his respect?" She shrugged and said, "That's what I would have done, back when he cared for me. I was almost ready to kill Danny because he told me to. Maybe it's a good thing I turned out to be imperfect and had to leave."

Niel decided to ignore the fact that Dani would have murdered a person and instead said, "You mean you didn't realize it at first?"

"Oh, no. I was stable for like a week before Vlad noticed anything amiss." She saw Niel's troubled expression and quickly added, "It's okay, I'm sure youre safe. You've stayed stable for much longer than I did. You're not a failure."

"I hope not," Niel mumbled, not feeling completely reassured.

Dani gave him a friendly nudge. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. And if you're not, you could always join your super duper awesome sister Dani on her worldly expeditions."

Niel frowned. "By the way, why do you call yourself Danny? Don't you want to go by your own name?"

"Uh-uh," she wagged her finger and said, "I'm Dani, with an I. He's Danny with a Y."

"That has to get confusing sometimes."

"Oh, absolutely. But it's also really funny. Like how there're two Hawkeyes in Marvel comics."

"There's two Hawkeyes?"

Dani gasped dramatically, then placed a hand on his shoulder and said deeply, "Niel, I really need to get you into comics."

Niel slowly moved Dani's hand away. "Okay...but I still find it weird that you want to be called Dani. Why not Elle? or Ellie?"

Dani tapped her chin and said, "You could call me that, if you like. Ellie does sound pretty cute."

"Cool, then. Ellie it is."

Ellie didn't seem to mind his new nickname for her. She wiped her mouth with a sleeve and looked at Niel's watch. "I guess I better leave. If Vlad's treating you like he used to treat me, then you probably have to do some ghost training in a few."

Niel looked down at his wrist. Had time really passed that quickly? "Yeah, you're right. Um...I'd say say you later, but..."

Ellie shrugged. "Why not? No harm in sticking around in Amity Park for a while longer, right?" She jabbed a finger at Niel and added, "Just make sure Vlad doesn't try to capture me or anything. Also, feel free to buy me food whenever we meet."

"I'll keep that in mind," Niel promised.

Niel turned away and began walking home. He glanced over his shoulder to where Ellie had been, but she was gone, probably off to do...whatever it was she did on her own.

[thecringefailintherye]

Melody (S.W.A.L.K) 1971 Livewatch

I have seen this movie. but not the whole thing (i got interupped the first time i watched it)... so here goes! 

movie load please

20 seconds of logos???

guitar song™

this movie is so nostalgic for no reason

Mark Lester and Jack Wild: did you mean, Oliver Twist and The Artful Dodger?

and tracy hyde shes here too

i love this movie sm wtf

can these credits end????

ok yes they can

70s film marching band scene

ornshaw drinking whiskey before band bc why not

danny is bby

mY mOtHeR dId It SiR

dannys mum is so annoying wtf

i really love tom ornshaw

run bitch run

The BB™

SET FIRE TO THE NEWSPAPER???

look at his lil face ❤

MELODY MY DAUGHTER

a gowdfish please

aww look at her 

“ive done all those things i wanna try something new” LIKE DRAWING TIDDIES? DANIEL

“ah a boy gave it to me at school” was it ornshaw, i bet it was ornshaw

BITCH YOU RIPPED DANNYS TITS DRAWING

melody girl you cant play that fucking recorder

this film has great cinematography wtf

Melody Perkins Deserves The World !!

the gang go to school

Ornshaw Gets Bullied

“the jewish boys may now leave for private study” what about the jewish girls?? there’s clearly girls in the class?? why do they have to listen to the bible

ornshaw’s porn bible

DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO JESUS WAS???

dont smoke at school kids

okay so shes peggy, why is she credited as maureen. who the fuck is maureen

hear me out, muriel is a lesbian. noone kisses for over five minutes unless youre proper horny and this bitch is like thirteen. she also says “i dont know, i never used to kiss boys”, because SHE DOESNT. shes lying because she doesnt kiss boys. shes closeted and thats whys she says she does. also, she got angry at peggy for saying she fancied a boy.

W I C

“saucy turtles make terrible bathmats, charley” okay okay jeez

ornshaws accent is everything

The Gang sneaking through the fence what will they do

uh oh danny

AWH YOURE BARMY

thats def gonna explode later

ornshaw gets kicked off the bus

but now hes on it

ornshaw and danny have such a wholesome friendship too bad melody ruins it oh wait

you’ve heared of ornshaw gets kicked off the bus now get ready for... ornshaw gets kicked out of the strip club!

you cant get a taxi!!! watch me hoe

where did ornshaw get the chewing gum from wtf

“shes always talking about people like you...” OH OKAY DANNYS MUM IS CLASSIST

“he could do with a heart attack!” WOAH OKAY

time skip to school

oh no danny’s seen melody

“we have three admirers of the dance!” ah shit

ah so maureen is the girl in green

why is ornshaw just standing there

FREE YOURSELVES

the girl gang is hilarious i love them

Muriel Kisses A Tombstone

uh oh dannys been found out

“HES A COWARD CMON”

ornshaw just yeeted his cat

i hate dannys mother sm

assembly time, an iconic part of british comprehensive school, since covid, i cant say i miss it

danny and melody !!

DANNY PLAYS CELLO THIS IS IMPORTANT INFO

melody and her friend are there because plot

melody sweetie baby i love you but you cant play the recorder

THEYRE PLAYING IN HARMONY DKDJSKDJSJKK 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

this is cute as fuck

melody is babey

oh explosives time??

i just dubbed these kids ornshaw and the pyrotechnics crew and it fits

dannys parents are annoying

i quite literally hate them

DANNY SPILT HIS COKE ITS SUCH A SIN

“neviw”

melody girl are you okay

melody are you lying about getting raped

oh time skip to school

we’ve hardly seen ornshaws home life so when will we properly meet him??

god i fucking love ornshaw its mad

oh this is an iconic scene if there ever was one

“go on tom dance with her” oh the ONE TIME ornshaw is called by his first name

youre mad !!

“girls are a load of snotty nose little so and sos” ornshaw aro king

is ornshaw.. scared of women

whatddya mean i dont dance very well!?

is it bad i lowkey crackship peggy and ornshaw now

YOU DANCE STUPID!

no one:

ornshaw: kicks peggy in the shin because he cant dance

“you big fat fool” yikes

danny u ok

ALL ORNSHAW AND HIS MATES DO IS CREATE EXPLOSIVES DJDKJSKt

oh it worked for once

i feel so fucking sorry for melody wtf

bb 🥺

im at the bit where melody is crying while putting on her mothers makeup 

SWEETIE ITS OKAY 

OH TIME SKIP TO SPORTS DAY! 

this film is so fast were already an hour in!

ornshaw giving actually solid life advice?? are you sure this is the same movie

“you youre gonna be bloody useless!”

i literally love ornshaw so much 

FUCK DANNYS MUM

GO ON DANNY 

YES MY BOY

time skip to school 3982903843290

wtf is a young latin scholars book

lahtimah

not ass latimer, arse

i hate the latin teacher

ornshaw every second: right uh erm um uh so yes sir oh uh mhm

*ornshaw and danny shoving pillows up their underwear*

“dont worry about it!!” dude hes getting spanked by the latin teacher ofc hes gonna worry about it

ornshaw and latimah

“vacate your mouth”

“because its a silly out of date language sir!!!” hes not wrong

uh oh 

what will slapping ornshaw’s ass with a dap even gonna do???

oh hi melody forgot about you

AWH DANNY SWEETHEART

“cmon danny dont let her see you cry!” i want a friend like ornshaw man

melody is just STANDING THERE LIKE GIRL LEAVE

“you can buzz off now love, tara, tooduhloo” have i said i love ornshaw? because i love ornshaw

danny dont abandon ornshaw !!

oh this is sad

danny? danny?? danny!!!??? DANNY!!?? 🥺🥺🥺

ORNSHAW RIGHTS MAN

ive felt sorry for literally all three of these kids now

ah fuck now ornshaws having a mental breakdown in the school halls

danny and melody’s relationship is so innocent and wholesome 

this is literally so bittersweet, like we’re seeing danny and melody being all cute and happy but we know that back in school ornshaw is literally having a breakdown over them

im tearing up over a movie about schoolchildren in puppy love

“will you love me that long?” “of course! ive loved you a whole week already!”

“hes come to tea! his name is daniel!” melody hes not your pet

melodys dad seems so cool why was he arrested

donald????

i genuinely love melody’s dad 

melody dramatically eats toast

time skip to school AGAIN

OH GOD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

melody and danny are out on a date having fun and its the same song playing as the scene earlier on when danny and ornshaw went off somewhere at the start of the movie, melody has quite literally replaced ornshaw

i have real tears rn 

they skipped school to go to weymouth

danny and melody are literally adorable man

“shall we get married?” arent yall like 12????

oh back to school they got in trouble for skipping

apparently the poor cast got spanked for real and like yikes

we want to get married :D

ITS NOT MENT TO BE FUNNY!!

leave danny alone!

leave melody alone!

ornshaw please stop

ornshaw stop taunting him this is gonna end shittily

OH SHIT 

THEYRE STRAIGHT UP FIGHTING 

ORNSHAW AND DANNY ARE MF WRESTLING EACHOTHER TO THE GROUND

okay now ornshaw is literally beating him up okay

danny this is your fault for ditching him for melody sorry

top ten best anime fight scenes

latin man is back because plot

DID ORNSHAW GIVE HIM A BLOODY NOSE

i’m sorry danny 😭😭

ORNSHAW. DESERVES. THE. FUCKING. WORLD. AND. MORE.

let melody and danny get married!

wait so if 20 is twice as old as her then shes.. ten?? i think

melody ily

“all i want to do is be happy” BABY

OH FUCK YOU MRS LATIMER

oooh

THEYRE GOING TO GET MARRIED BY THE RAILWAY 

ornshaws unnamed friend is the true hero of this movie

is this the movie climax???

run! ornshaws unnamed friend! run!

IM SORRY THE’RE LITERALLLY GETTING MARRIED I’M 😭

“we are gathered here today to join this man and woman in holy matrimony.. shaddup”

ITS NOT FUNNY ITS SERIOUS

IS ORNSHAW STRAIGHT UP MARRYING THESE TWO IS HE THEIR VICAR

HE IS AS WELL

“DICKS IS COMING!!!” as soon as they were getting the rings

RUN !!!!

ornshaw just threw the bible at his re teacher from the re scene at the start i love him

DANNYS MUM HAD IT COMING

name a more iconic trio than melody perkins, danny latimer, and tom ornshaw, i’ll wait

GO PEGGY!

ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND IS GONNA FINALLY GET HIS BOMB WORKING!

YES

GO ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND

“i’ll get you ornshaw!” dude how is this his fault its yours for unterupting the wedding latin man

again ouf is the true movie hero

wait latin man is dicks??? whos wannabe remus lupin then????

this just in: ouf is actually named stacey

oh god thats actually such a bittersweet ending

melody and danny trolleying off into the sunset

im actually crying like a baby rn

god that was such a good movie

[dyxnamicart]

my stupid highschool oneshot thing

look im not a writer, (I used to be when I was fourteen, haven’t done it since then so ya know, you dont use it you lose it lmao)

Anyways this has been highly requested that I post it, im a bit mad because its not exactly how I wish their dynamic was, I’m not great at writing banter (or anything i’m an artist now plewse) but ya know Also DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of fiction, it in no way reflects real life Dan and Phil (In fact my au switches up their personalities a fair bit) and do not tag them okAY P E O P L E They dont wanna see it and I dont want them to see it (Even if this isnt a particularly shippy piece lmao people are getting very angsty as of late) I also don’t have an editor so sorry for any mistakes  Anyway here ya go heathens 

Dan didn’t notice the opposing teams jock barrelling towards him, not until his leg had swept under his own, causing him to fly through the air, ball no longer in his possession. 

In fact it all flew by in a matter of seconds. Dan didn’t really have time to process exactly what was happening until he felt the shock of pain that travelled up his wrist and down his arm as he landed heavily onto it, crying out as he rolled once or twice before coming to a stop… He couldn’t really tell. There was a whistle blow, but the bustling around him seemed dull in comparison to the loudness of the pain in his wrist. 

He hissed as he was righted, pulled up and put steadily on his feet, being ushered to the benches, it only felt like five minutes before the game was back on course, bar Dan to be left on the sides, a few claps on the back from his teammates as he let his head come down from the spinning it was doing. 

The nurse on staff did a pretty shoddy job of bandaging, but to her credit she did ask if he wanted an ambulance. If his dad knew an ambulance was called because he hurt his wrist... he didn’t even want to imagine the searing look of disappointment he would receive. 

So he just declined. 

The game was one of the final ones of the season, they were playing against the local private school, which had a surprisingly amount of suspiciously beefed up kids, though with private school money Dan wasn’t surprised they probably had some ins with the law and extra ‘help’. 

He really wanted to play in the final, in fact his coach had even been considering him for the team, not that Dan was amazing at football, but he wasn’t the worst. He was passable at best, probably why his parents weren’t here right now to witness the semi, something he supposes he should be counting his lucky stars for now he had an injury as mediocre as a sprained wrist, but now there was a nagging pull in his gut of his own disappointment. 

He waited out the game on the bench, figuring he should at least be there for his team for the results, even with a sprained wrist he didn’t want to run away without at least talking to a few of his mates afterwards. 

-

Phil didn’t see the tumble. 

He was perched up in the bleachers, trying to ignore the way the mild and darkening sky had began to stew whipping winds that tore right through the threads in his sweater, by sketching insurmountable things he could see. 

He didn’t usually go to games, not only was it not his scene, but he would either end up insanely bored or find his eyes following Dan Howell’s god damn limber body. But this was the semis, and he totally wasn’t here to occasionally glance at a certain panting number 91, he at least wanted to show his support for the school. It wasn’t his fault this game was boring and his sketchbook looked far more inviting. 

He only looked up when there was a big murmur and gasps coming from the crowd around him, and he couldn’t see who it was at first, but there was a boy sprawled on the ground. 

It didn’t take long to figure out it was Dan, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply, closing his sketchbook and shoving it into his bag. He ended up walking down a few rows in the bleachers, just trying to see if the daft idiot was okay, and he sat down again much closer. The nurse did an awful job at bandaging his hand, he could see that from here, and he would have to fix it after the game. Well.. he didn’t have to, of course, but he figured Howell was too much of an airhead to fix it properly and as much as the other grated on him he at least wanted him to be comfortable. 

When it came to the end of the game, Phil’s school lost, and there was a brief celebration for the other school as they paraded off the field, while Dan’s team just huddled around to talk to the coach and then walk to the locker rooms, obviously trying to act casual even if they had essentially just been eliminated from the finals. 

Looking around, a lot of the families and students were milling out, many of them disappointed by the outcome of the game.  

This was their star team, and there had been a surprisingly large turnout for the event, to have it all end this anticlimactically felt a bit wrong, if he was being honest, even if sports definitely weren’t his thing. 

Phil headed down towards the locker rooms, some of the boys were already heading out, chatting and bumping into each other as they walked. Boys were talking, over half of them shirtless. He tried to avoid looking at them, while Phil had come to terms with his sexuality internally, he wasn’t out to his school, despite the obvious digs lots of the jocks and ‘cool kids’ would make. He wasn’t exactly subtle. 

Dan hadn’t noticed him, he was sitting on a bench and chatting to a teammate, but some of the boys closer to the entrance had. 

“Ay! It’s Danny’s little bitch, what’s new Lester?” A boy Phil knew as Jason laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders, leaning heavily on him. 

Phil grunted, and shoved him off. “I’m not anyone’s bitch. Especially not Howell’s.” 

There was an ‘oo’ that rippled through the boys, and it was safe to say that Dan had noticed him. He furrowed his eyebrows, and stood up. 

“A teacher told me to help Dan.. carry his stuff with his hand like that.” He faltered off, because that half baked excuse really did make him sound like someone’s bitch. But by this point people were beginning to lose interest and ended up either packing up to leave or going back to chatting amongst themselves about a hot girl or something Phil honestly couldn’t care less about. 

Phil walked towards Dan, throwing on a mastered look of indifference and annoyance.

“What are you doing back here?” The brunette sighed deeply, running his good hand through his hair. “As if I don’t already get clowned on enough from seeing you during actual school hours.” He said dryly. 

Phil rolled his eyes. “I saw that sad excuse for a nurse ‘wrap’ your hand. I’ve seen children under the age of 4 wrap toilet paper around themselves better.” 

Dan groaned as he fell back to his sitting position on the bench. “Good deed Lester huh? You aren’t a guardian angel you know.” 

“Are you going to turn down actual help with that wrist, Howell. Seriously.” He dropped his bag on the ground, and knelt down, ignoring the few whistles he got from the people still in the room. 

Dan rolled his eyes as he looked down at Phil, arched eyebrow and holding his injured wrist with his hand, like he didn’t trust him. “Fine.” He sighed, setting his hand down on his leg, looking down at Phil with a suspicious and unless he was imagining it, flushed face. 

Phil carefully lifted the brunettes injured hand, frowning at the small pang of guilt he felt when Dan hissed in a sharp breath, quiet, as if being a little louder would shatter his reputation in one fell swoop. 

By now the locker room had basically emptied out, Dan’s mates sauntered away, hefting their heavy gym bags over their shoulders as their voices echoed down the hallway and slowly faded into the cool night air. 

Dan and Phil sat in silence for a few moments as Phil examined the bandage. Dan seemed to relax a little, and he allowed the feeling of calm to wash over them now there was no eyes examining their every move. The indifference and hostility seemed to drain from the air.

He didn’t know if it was the late night game or the lack of people, but he felt as though he was back before highschool, back before their fall out. Before their life became a series of quips and tension seeping into the fond memories he once had for the boy in front of him. 

“Why do you play, when you end up hurting yourself like this?” His question was genuine, none of the concealed fire that was usually behind his voice when he talked to Dan. 

Phil used his other hand to unroll the bandage. He had seen the first aid kit it came from, the contents being the single bandage, two band aids and a single cotton swab. Not the most ideal for a sport like this, hands on and physical, but their school wasn’t really known for their state of the art resources. 

Dan looked unsure of whether or not he should give a witty response or answer seriously. In the end he seemed too exhausted to spit out a clever one liner. So he opted for the truth. 

“I don’t know..” Dan huffed a breath out of his nose, like he was out of practice with talking about his emotions. “The guys are cool.. people like a jock you know?” He pauses for a moment, like he was struggling with whether or not he wanted to continue. “And I kind of want my dad to be proud of me? You know my dad. I want him to think.. I’m one of the lads. One of the boys.. not a royal screw up son.” He snorted, good hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was trying to play off his words as ridiculous. 

But Phil didn’t laugh. 

“Proud of you?” He repeated, slightly quieter as he slowly started to wind the bandage around Dan’s stiff wrist. 

Dan shrugged, looking away and seemingly focusing on a spot far across the room, like he was trying to be anywhere but here, talking to a friend who had been distanced by time and change. 

But Phil remembers, he remembers his curly brown hair bouncing around when he was excited, when he was jumping around playing cops and robbers, he remembers his loud and boisterous laugh and the way his cheeks dimpled and filled with colour. He remembers a time when he knew the boy in front of him more then he knew anyone in the world. When he thought Dan was his forever friend and that nothing would ever change that. 

Guess something changed. 

“You know I’m proud of you,” He continued, not looking up from bandaging. He could feel Dan’s eyes on him now, he could feel the incredulous and doubtful eyes bore into his skin, see into his soul. He didn’t seem to have expected an actual answer in response. “I’m proud of you when I see you play piano. When I see your eyes light up and when you lose yourself in the keys. When you recite dumb Shakespearen poetry and when you are on stage commanding the spotlight, when the only person who matters is you. That’s what I’m proud of. That’s what makes me think, THIS is Dan Howell. THIS is who he is meant to be. Not a shallow jock with a sharp tongue and attitude. I’m proud of the real you.”

He clipped the bandage pin on the end of the roll, now safely locked on Dan’s wrist, and he went to pull his hand away but was stopped by a hand placed over his. 

Dan’s eyes were how he remembered, not in way they were for the past two years, glazed over as he tried to cram his way into a puzzle he didn’t fit into, but filled with an unfathomable tenderness and something he couldn’t quite put his finger on 

They didn’t need to exchange words, the soft smile Dan gave him spoke a thousand words, making up for time that felt lost before now. 

He stood up, finally dropping Phil’s hand and grabbing his jacket off the bench. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” 

-

Their silence was welcoming as they walked down the hall towards the exit. The last few years had been full of quips and jabs, fast insults and banter that sometimes toed the line as not quite friendly. This silence, it was new, but it felt right. Dan couldn’t quite understand, but there was a shift that felt comfortable. 

Dan had known Phil a long time, longer then anyone in this god forsaken school. He was quiet and reserved and he enjoyed painting and drawing. He was creative, and he didn’t care what people thought of him. He was unapologetically himself, and that was something that he only wished he could be. 

For the longest time it was him and Phil. Dan and Phil against the world, playing Mario cart and watching shitty movies, always at each other’s houses like they belonged together. 

Then high school happened.

The desire to fit in hit Dan like a ton of bricks. While Phil was content to remain a Mario kart loving geek, Dan couldn’t stand being the butt of the joke. He couldn’t stand his dad being disappointed whenever he brought Phil home to do something nerdy. As the years went by it became a sort of crutch for him and Phil to make snide remarks at each other as they passed in the halls, glaring across the halls and that’s how it stayed. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loved to see Phil riled up. He loved to see his eyebrows furrow together and his eyes roll. His arms crossed and his posture unimpressed. If anything that was his favourite part, the way his voice flooded with heat and passion, as he stared at him with the intensity of a bonfire. He loved to tease him and play his surprisingly short temper like a fiddle.

But he wasn’t attracted to him. No way. Phil wasn’t a pretty girl. He did NOT find his eyes pretty and the way his hair sometimes fell into his eyes and his hands didn’t itch to run his hands through it. 

He was straight. He had to be. 

His heart dropped a little, and he couldn’t explain why, but he looked over at Phil, who was walking beside him. 

They were outside now, and it was raining, not too heavily but enough to get you fairly wet. Despite the fact Phil was wearing a sweater and long overalls, he could see him shiver, the fabric of the sweater probably allowed the biting wind to nip tight through it.

He shrugged off his jacket, and gently wrapped it around Phil’s shoulders, forcing them to stop momentarily. The street light cast a soft light over them, and his eyes met the other boys, and for a moment they stared at each other, Dan watching as raindrop followed the contours of Phil’s face, a drop following his cheekbone and the slope of his jaw. 

He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck again as he started walking. “Okay okay, lets get you home, Lester.” 

“Are you sure you aren’t cold?” Phil enquires inquisitively as he sped walked a bit to catch up with him. 

He shrugged. “Still running on adrenaline I guess.” It was a lie, he was slightly cold. But it felt right, and he continued to walk with him in silence. 

Phil was holding the jacket around himself as they approached his house, and they stopped just under the porch, the light flickering on to illuminate his face. 

Dan stuffed his good hand in his pocket, and he clicked his tongue as Phil went to shrug off the jacket to give back. “Nah, wash it first, don’t want your nerd germs on my clothes.” Despite the insult, he found himself smiling warmly, and Phil too just chuckled. 

“Alright, I’ll give it to you on Monday or something, Howell.” 

Dan saluted as he turned to walk away, and he could feel Phil staring through his back as he walked back into the rain. They were only a street apart, but he knew that was going to be one long walk. 

[lanamemories]

hLO itsa me nai-io!!!!! (read shrieked in a high voice like mario if he buckled his dungarees too tight around the crotch)...... im sad i missed opening bt i had a pretty busy past 2 days so i didn’t hav any chance at all to b online bc i ws staying at a friends bt. anyway. excited to b here nw regardless of my Fashionably Late entrance. i’m 22 n live in manchester (the u freakin k Bay Bee) n cackle a little too mch like a witch fr supernatural suspicions nt to arise. thts all u rly need to kno. like this or hmu fr plots!! 

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

「 bridget satterlee. cis-female. 」have you seen lana jameson around yet? i hear SHE decided to be in ALPHA NU for their JUNIOR year as a DANCE major. the 21 year old SHEEP is known to be vivacious, alluring, childish and impulsive. ➨ the muse is written by nai. she is 22, in the gmt.

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror, seventies platforms covered in bowie inspired lightening stripes, fanning the flush in your cheeks with a bright red flamenco fan in the back of a crowded lecture hall, michelangelo reminiscent statures clasping at their stone in suggestive places, bopping stranger’s on the forehead with heart shaped lollipops, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, lighting a paper lantern and saying “aw, how pretty,” only for the whole party to shriek as it crashes into a children’s tent in the next garden over, a ball point pen that turns a woman naked when you click up the nib, cackling so ferociously that you almost throw up and your ribs ache.

ok im a Lay Zee gorl n dnt wna waste any mre time redoin lana’s intro so im pastin in her old one so i cn hop right to interactions. the only thing i can think tht needs to b added is the stuff abt danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine bc im a sadist) who recently beat up zeke van doren (full name this is Official feel like im writin a journalist article) bc he found out him n lana slept tgether n her n danny were kind of dating if....u can call his idea of romance tht. danny is in custody nw bt its a whole Thing like.... is prob... known around lockwood bc it ws a pretty intense..... thing tht happened n danny ws quite a popular senior

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him after initially bein mad tht he ws leavin her all alone. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of.... is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days

[zeldadeservesbetter]

Coffee With The Gals (And Some Shooty Shoots)

((So this is another one that happened in my gameplay. Tbh it's a really good plot and i need some fluff because last night i was vv sad with Arthur's Breaking Point. So here's the concept picture(s), enjoy!))

((Sorry if some of them are blurry, i use my phone camera because im at my dads house rn))

For the past few weeks, Arthur had been working hard. Instead of stealing and robbing, he'd found a new hobby that he enjoyed. He would go out and pick herbs and make poultices with them, along with elixirs that kept people in generally good health. Half went to camp, and the other half he'd sell. He didn't make a lot of money doing it, mainly because he always found himself giving the mixtures to those who were poor or homeless and couldn't afford it.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Arthur actually felt good about himself. Everyone in Valentine and Rhodes adored him, and he found himself being flustered by local women a lot often than he used to. A caring generous man seemed to be what everyone wanted.

He knew everyone in camp could tell the difference in his attitude, he was almost always helping with chores and smiling constantly, and that in general helped the Van Der Linde gang get their hopes up and be happy again.

Dutch had pulled Arthur aside one day, telling him he needed to take a break and just relax for a day, and that they would do all the hard work and bring in some money for camp.

Eventually, Arthur agreed and trudged off to bed, finally realizing how tired he actually was. It was amazing, he was so happy and full of joy for the first time that he hadn't really noticed he had been working himself too hard.

Collapsing on his bed, Arthur almost instantly fell asleep, hat draped over his head and his arm dangling off the side of his cot as he snored rather loudly.

The next morning, Arthur woke up with a loud yawn, stretching his arms. Almost immediately he was ready to go out and pick herbs, but quickly remember today was his "day off".

Smiling as he grabbed his coffee cup, Arthur walked over to the stew pot where the coffee was, mumbling a brief "good mornin' " to Tilly, Abigail, and Sadie, who were all sipping their hot cups of coffee, their faces bright for the first time since they got a new camp. In fact, he never really saw Sadie happy until just now.

"Morning Arthur." Abigail said with a smile, sipping her coffee.

"Morning Abigail. You always did like a nice cup of coffee." Arthur commented as he poured himself a cup, sipping on it quickly as he stood up.

"Nothin' like it." Abigail replied, taking a sip herself.

After a moment of silence and quiet sipping, Tilly had cleared her throat to speak.

"So Arthur, what's your secret to being so happy? I ain't ever seen someone smile as much as you do." She had asked, smile ever present on her face as she spoke.

"Ah, just pickin' herbs and makin' miracles, that's all." Arthur said, half-joking but at the same time it wasn't completely false. He had plenty of people come up to him saying that his stuff really worked and saved their lives. Huh, maybe he could become a doctor.

"That's all? You are one mysterious man Arthur Morgan." Sadie said with a chuckle, setting her cup down. "Well folks, I hate to be the first to leave but Dutch needs me on a mission. See y'all later!" She said, patting Arthur's shoulder as she walked away, waving goodbye.

"You know I watched that woman take down an entire flock of raiders without getting a scratch on her?" Arthur said, looking back to Abigail and Tilly, who were giggling softly at Arthur's remark.

"Yeah, she's definitely a brute, but she's smart too. I can't tell you how many times I've seen her threaten Pearson." Abigail piped in, causing all three of them to laugh once more.

These were the times that Arthur truly cherished, the times he wanted to hold onto and never let go. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work like that.

After a few moments of casually talking about their lives and what was happening, Arthur had decided he really needed to go somewhere to rest his weary bones and have a good nights sleep.

Saint-Denis really seemed like the only viable option, he wasn't wanted there, and maybe he could sell some of his "magic serum" there, and make a lot of money too. After explaining to the girls what he was going to do, they had already filled in some requests for him. He was very close with the women in camp, so he was sure he was going to get them all something along with Jack.

Packing up some things and changing his outfit, Arthur said goodbye to everyone in camp and headed off, taking only a rifle and his cattleman revolver since he didn't plan on killing anyone this time around.

Not even an hour into riding to Saint-Denis was he stopped at a bridge, by none other than the Lemoyne Raiders, who were armed with a small militia, and Arthur only had his two flimsy guns.

"Well lookie here, its that Van Der Linde boy, all alone with nothing to protect himself." One of the raiders said with a smirk, hopping down off of his horse to walk up to Arthur's, whistling with furrowed eyebrows as he checked the contents of his bag.

"Damn, it looks like he's carrying enough meds to heal the army! Haha, we'll be taking your trusty steed from you, but don't worry- we don't kill horses. Just men." The raider said, cocking his gun, ready to shoot Arthur if needed.

"Goddamn you monsters! You ain't taking jack shit!" Arthur cursed, his breath hitching as a gun was placed under his chin.

"Watch your mouth or I'll blow it to shreds." The raider said, causing Arthur to nod slightly as a man came over and took his horse away, walking it out of view.

"Well then, i think we're done here." The raider had said, smirk still present as he pulled the gun away and put it back in the holster.

Within the blink of an eye, Arthur had pulled his revolver up, firing five different shots, each killing a raider, including the one that was just threatening him, so only three remained.

"Holy shit! He killed Danny! Take his horse and run!" One of the raiders said, and before Arthur could reload his revolver a few separate shots were fired at him, one hitting him in the leg, causing him to scream out in pain and fall to the ground, hyperventilating as pain shot throughout his entire body.

"Goddammit! Why do I ever decide to leave camp?!?!" He cursed, shakily taking a bottle of his cure out of his satchel, dumping half of it on his wound, and downing the rest in hopes it would at least dull the pain.

Gasping, Arthur sat up and pulled himself out of the main trail, his wounded leg completely limp.

"well... Nothing to do now except wait for some poor soul to come by." He grumbled, propping his hand on his knee and resting his head.

".... Goddamn raiders...."

((So this legit happened to my poor Arthur right after i left camp drinking coffee with Tilly and the gals. Some godamn raiders stopped me at a bridge and they nearly got me, then i shot the guy robbing me and threw a stick of dynamite at them, and low and behold in the shootout they killed my horse. I killed them all, but i was rlly low on health and didn't have jack shit to cure it but this potent health cure which didn't even replenish my cores just upped them for a bit... Lmao so then i just sat there and waited for someone to pass by while slowly walking [my stamina was out to. Worst goddamn luck] and eventually after 30 minutes some guy passed by and i called him out then stole his horse and rode all the way to Saint-Denis, sold it, bought a new horse, and stocked up on supplies. You're welcome 😂😂😂))

[thelastspeecher]

Been talking a lot about Emmett lately, and I was inspired today to write something starring everyone’s favorite twelve-toed nervous boy.  So, here’s Emmett in the Superhero/villain AU, accidentally using his powers to control his dad.

              “Emmett.”  Emmett looked up from his comic book.  His dad stood in front of him, visibly furious.  He swallowed nervously and set the comic book down.

              “Hi, Dad.”

              “Wanna tell me why you weren’t at boxing?” Stan demanded.

              “I was,” Emmett lied.

              “Then how come when I stopped by to surprise you and your sister, you weren’t there?”

              “I left early.”

              “I showed up early,” Stan said, crossing his arms.  Emmett looked away.  “You gotta stop skipping, kid.”

              “I don’t like it,” Emmett mumbled.  Stan let out a sigh and sat next to Emmett on the couch.

              “I know.  And that’s fine.  Your Uncle Ford didn’t like it, either.  Neither did I, when I started.”

              “Wait, really?” Emmett asked.  Stan nodded.

              “I hated it.  But my dad kept making me go.  It was the only good thing he ever did for me.  I had to learn how to protect myself and Ford.”

              “I don’t want to go.”

              “You need to learn some self-defense skills.”

              “You never made Danny or Daisy learn how to protect themselves.”

              “They didn’t get picked on as much as you and Emily.”

              “I don’t get picked on.”

              “You came home from school with a black eye last week.”  Stan sighed. “Your ma and I made complaints and everything, but schools don’t like stopping bullies.  That’s why you need to learn how to do it yourself.”

              “I already do ballet-” Emmett started.

              “And that’s good.  I’m proud of you,” Stan said.  “Ballet is tough.”  He put a hand on Emmett’s shoulder.  “But it’s not gonna do squat to protect you.  What are you gonna do if someone comes after you or Emily?  A fancy jump?  Some sorta twirl?”

              “Dad, I’m not gonna go anymore,” Emmett said firmly.  Stan scowled at him.  “I mean it. I don’t care how much you look at me with that face.”

              “And I don’t care that you don’t want to.  It’s for your own good.”

              “Dad-”

              “When you were five, and you hated broccoli, do you think I let you not eat it, just ‘cause you didn’t like it?  No. I made sure you cleaned your plate. This is the same thing,” Stan said. Emmett jumped to his feet.

              “You can’t make me go!” Emmett yelled.  Stan slowly stood.

              “Don’t take that tone with me.”

              “Even if you keep signin’ me up, I’ll keep skippin’.  Even if ya drop me off, I’ll leave.  I don’t want to do it anymore!  It’s- you might think it’s good to force me to do something I don’t like, but it’s not!  I hate it!”

              “Emmett-”

              “Do you really wanna do something Grandpa did?” Emmett asked.  Stan’s face went red.

              “That’s it!” Stan rumbled.  Emmett froze. “Go to your room.  Now.”

              “But-”

              “Now,” Stan growled.  “I’ll figure out your punishment for talking to me like that later.”  Emmett stormed off.  He passed Emily on the stairs.  She didn’t bother to pretend she hadn’t been eavesdropping.

              “Emmett, that was bad,” she whispered.

              “I know.  He needs to stop makin’ me go to those stupid lessons.”

              “No, not-”  Emily grimaced.  “You know how much Dad hates Grandpa.  Why’d you compare Dad to him?”

              “Yeah, well, he should stop doin’ stuff that Grandpa did,” Emmett muttered.

              “I can hear you,” Stan said loudly.  “Emmett, go to your room.  Emily, go…weed the garden or somethin’.  Do some chores.”

              “Okay, Dad.”  Emily glanced at Emmett warningly before heading downstairs.  Emmett stuffed his hands in his pockets and finished going to his room. He slammed the door shut.

              “Don’t slam doors!” Stan shouted from downstairs.

              “Ugh!”  Emmett threw himself onto his bed, burying his face into his pillows.

              I hate this.  I hate it.  I just wish Dad would throw himself off the tallest building he could find.

              A door downstairs opened and closed.

----- 

              “Emmett Stanley McGucket!”  Emmett jerked instinctively at the sound of his full name being shouted from downstairs. The movement left a large streak across the math sheet he had been working on.

              “Great,” he muttered.  “Ma’s home.”

              Dad definitely told her what happened.  Now I get to hear the second part of the riot act.

              “Emmett!  Get down here!  Now!” Angie yelled.  Emmett reluctantly shuffled out of his room and down to the first floor.

              “Ford, hold him down,” a voice said.  Emmett paused at the foot of the stairs.

              Uncle Lute?

              “I am holding him down,” a second voice snapped.  “At least we finally got the dampeners on him.”

              Uncle Ford, too?  There was a crash from the kitchen.  What’s goin’ on?

              “Where is that boy?” Lute’s voice asked.

              “I don’t-”  Angie stormed out of the kitchen.  She was still in her villainy duds, but had removed her cowl.  She spotted Emmett by the stairs.  “Emmett.  Come here.” Emmett felt a gust of wind push him towards the kitchen.

              “You’re not gonna let me go on my own?” Emmett asked.  Angie scowled.

              “I’m not takin’ any chances.”

              “Ma, I know that I skipped, and you’re angry,” Emmett started, following her into the kitchen.  “But-” He froze.  Lute and Ford were struggling to hold Stan down on the ground. His uncles had clearly been fighting to restrain Stan for quite some time; both their clothes were singed, and Ford had a bruise beginning to form on his cheek.  “Wha- what happened?”

              “You tell me,” Angie snapped.  “What command did you give yer father this time?”

              “Command?  I-” Emmett’s blood ran cold.  He stepped a bit closer to look at his father’s eyes.  His pupils were dilated, the sure sign that he had been commanded by Emmett.  Emmett swallowed.  “I- I didn’t mean-”

              “I saw him runnin’ ‘round town,” Lute said.  “He seemed a bit off, so I got a closer look and saw his eyes.  Knew right then it was yer handiwork, Emmett.”  Emmett covered his mouth.  “What?”

              “I wanted him to jump off the tallest building he could find,” Emmett whispered.  “I was just- I was angry at him, I-”

              “Yes, yes, this is important information,” Ford interjected.  He narrowly avoided another punch from Stan. “But I think it can wait until after you free Stan from your command.”

              “I don’t know how.”

              “That’s not an option right now,” Angie said firmly.  Emmett looked at his mom.  “Fix it.”

----- 

              It took fifteen minutes for Emmett to reverse the command, upon which he was promptly sent to the living room, so that the adults could discuss what they were going to do.  Ten minutes after that, Emmett got called to the kitchen again.  He joined his parents at the table, not making eye contact with either of them.

              “Uncle Ford and Uncle Lute are gone?” he asked quietly.

              “Yes,” Angie said.  She clasped her hands.  “Emmett…”

              “I didn’t mean to!” Emmett wailed.

              “Hey, hey,” Stan said, reaching a hand out to Emmett.  “It’s okay, kiddo.”

              “No, it’s not.  I- I was mad and I- I wanted you to jump off a building and-”

              “Why weren’t you wearing the power dampeners?” Stan asked.

              “I couldn’t find ‘em.”

              “Yeah, you’re pretty good at losing them.”

              “I’m so sorry, Dad!  I didn’t want you to get hurt!  I just have mean thoughts sometimes.”

              “Everybody does,” Angie said softly.  She let out a sigh.  “But yer thoughts are awful powerful, honey.”

              “I didn’t mean to!” Emmett repeated.

              “It’s okay, sport.”  Stan grinned, but it was clearly forced.  “It’s kinda my fault, anyways.  You got my silver tongue.”  Emmett looked away.

              “Now’s not the time, Stanley,” Angie said quietly.  Stan sighed.

              “Right.”

              “Emmett, yer goin’ to be punished,” Angie said.  Emmett nodded.  “But we’re goin’ to take the fact that it was an accident into consideration.”

              “It’d be better if I didn’t have any powers at all,” Emmett mumbled.

              “Don’t say that,” Stan said.  “Yeah, yours are a bit tough.  But we’ll figure it out.”

              “If you say so.”

              “And in the meantime…”  Stan looked at Angie.  She nodded. “We’re gonna make you switch schools.” Emmett gaped at Stan.

              “What?”

              “The school yer at right now isn’t equipped to handle someone with yer abilities,” Angie said.  “That wouldn’t be a problem, except that ya keep losin’ the dampeners.”

              “I don’t-”

              “I know ya don’t mean to.  But after today, we have to start makin’ decisions ‘bout what’s best fer you and everyone around you.  So we’ll be sendin’ ya to Sycamore Grove.”

              “Wh- the high school for villains?” Emmett squeaked.  Angie and Stan nodded.

              “I’m not happy about it,” Stan said quietly.  “But it’s what needs to happen.  The teachers there are used to students with powers like yours.”

              “It’ll be fine, sweetie,” Angie said gently.  Emmett hung his head.

              “If you say so.”

              “I do have some good news for you,” Stan said.

              “What?”

              “We’re gonna pull you out of boxing lessons.”  Emmett’s head whipped up.  He stared.  “I still think it’s good for you.  But you’re already dealing with stuff, and being forced to do somethin’ you hate isn’t gonna help.”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck.  “I know that from experience.”  Emmett nodded.  “Go to your room while we talk about your punishment.”  Stan looked around the kitchen.  There were a few scorch marks on the walls and floor, and a chair had broken. “And while we clean up.  Man, I made a mess.”

              “Pretty sure it’s technically my mess,” Emmett said.  Stan rolled his eyes.

              “C’mon, kid.  How many times do I have to tell you – if you can get outta being blamed for something, take it!  Even if it’s technically your fault.”  Emmett quirked a small grin.  “Now, go to your room.  We’ll come get you in a bit.”

[katbug48]

you wanted writing prompts/scenarios so I propose literally anything with the secret reveal between danny and his parents because im weak

(It’s funny because this is something that I’m actually trying to work on haha. So instead I’ll come up with something that’s different from what I’m currently trying to write. :3)

Danny stood in the living room with his head down, looking at the floor while his parents gave him yet another talking to when he came home with his report card from the end of the school year. It hadn’t exactly been stellar, with mostly C’s and D’s, which his parents weren’t too happy about, considering their straight-A daughter. They knew Danny was capable of more and Danny knew he was too, if only ghost fighting just never got in the way.

He shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably as he continued to receive an earload from his parents. “This has been going on for two years, Daniel.” His mom berated him, making sure he knew she was being absolutely serious with him as she used his full name instead of his nickname. She held up the report card Danny had given her for him to see again, ignoring that he wasn’t even looking at her, and instead the floor. “You’re a Fenton. You are very capable of much more. Do you expect to get anywhere in your future with these grades? You need to smarten up and stop whatever it is you’re doing!” Danny flinched as his mom raised her voice at him, and rubbed his arm gently, still refusing to look up at her.

“Not to mention how much you’ve been lying to us. Coming home late, skipping out on school and chores, sometimes I don’t even get to see you for days, Danny.” His mom spoke in an even stricter tone at him. She paused, letting that sink into him. “Do you know how much it hurts, that I don’t know what my baby boy is doing because he won’t talk to me anymore?” The softer, hurt tone that Maddie took made Danny finally look up. It tugged at his heart and made it hurt when he heard her sound so upset.

“Mom…” Danny said quietly as he glanced to her hurt eyes, making him look away with guilt.

“I don’t want to hear it, Danny.” His mom replied, her voice hardening again. “Until you can tell me, tell us, the truth, you are grounded and you are going to summer school. No ifs, and’s or but’s. Understood?”

“Yes…” Danny sighed, looking back down at the floor. He deserved it, really. He’d been treating his parents like crap, and it was only a matter of time before they snapped at him for it.

“Son,” His dad started. He was rather quiet the whole time Maddie was disciplining Danny, unable to get mad and raise his voice at his son like she could. “You know you can tell us anything, right? We want to help you succeed, Danny, but we can’t if you don’t let us.”

His dad was right, and he knew it. Even he was tired and upset about how many times he came home with his parents disappointed in him because he wouldn’t let them in his life. He wanted to badly to tell them what was going on, just to get rid of that disappointment, even if it means he would have to run away. He just wanted them to be proud of him again, to be proud to be called a Fenton.

“Actually, mom and dad…” Danny said quietly, rubbing his arm again as he looked up at them. “There is something I need to tell you.”

“If it’s not the truth, I don’t want to hear it Danny, and this discussion is over.” His mom declared, making Danny’s heart tug again in hurt.

“Mom, I promise it’s the truth, please just trust me.” He replied quietly, as he glanced up at both his parents, waiting for them to give him the go to continue. “I really mean it when I say that I’ve been trying as hard as I can, it’s just things happen and get in the way, and this is the best I can manage so far…” He looked pleadingly into his parent’s eyes, wishing for them to understand him to this point.

He had no idea where he was going to go with the truth he was about to tell his parents. He’d gone over it so many times in his head, thought up a million plus more outcomes of the situation, but he really wasn’t ready for the real thing. He didn’t know how he could tell them he was half ghost, the Phantom kid that they’ve hunted down for the past 2 years.

“Look,” He said, pausing for a moment, trying to get his thoughts in order. “You remember the portal accident two years ago? How I was inside when it turned on?” He asked them, watching as they nodded their heads. “Well,” He looked to the floor, wringing his hands together, playing with them, as he tried to get past this with his parents. “I..I should’ve died. That much electricity should’ve killed me. A-and why it didn’t is what I’ve been hiding from you guys…”

His mom looked to his dad confused, and a little shocked at what Danny was telling them. Of course it should’ve killed him, and they never came to that realization until now. “What do you mean?” Maddie asked, her voice shaking a little.

“Mom… The accident changed me. I-It did something to me.” Danny replied quietly, refusing to look up at his parents once again. “It’s why I should’ve died, but I didn’t.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “You know how your ghost weapons always targeted me and you thought it was a bug because I was the only one they targeted?” 

“Yes,” His dad nodded, his face scrunching up in confusion as he tried to wrap his head around the story Danny was telling them. “But what…?” He trailed off into his thoughts.

“Dad, it’s because they were right.” There, Danny finally said it. Not outright, but enough to get the point across. There was no turning back now. “From what we were able to figure out, the ectoplasm from when the portal turned on infused with my DNA, I don’t know how, some sciency stuff I don’t understand, and it turned me into a half-ghost to keep me alive.” Danny finally got it all out, got the truth out to his parents, even though he was shaking so bad with the anxiety of telling them and it took alot out of him.

“Danny…” His mom said quietly, reaching out to touch his cheek, making him look up at her when she did. He looked into her eyes that were quickly filling with tears. “We’re so sorry, we didn’t…” She trailed off as Jack had earlier. She really didn’t have any excuse to say she didn’t know, because she just didn’t pay attention. Her and Jack were much too excited about the portal working than to know what was going on with her own son.

“I-it’s okay, mom. I’m okay.” He pulled away from her again, rubbing his arm once again. “There’s just..There’s one more thing I need to tell you guys, and please don’t be mad. It’s just, this is why I’m doing horrendously in school, why I’m always missing out on curfew, it’s just… I don’t mean to be doing it, it just accidentally happens.” Taking a deep breath, he reached inside himself, feeling for the familiar ice core inside him, bringing it forward, letting the transformation fall over him. A black and white jumpsuit over clothes, green eyes over blue, snow white hair over pitch black hair. “I-I’m Danny Phantom.”

(And I’ll just leave it off there for interpretation of what happens after :3)

[samanthasroberts]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

[jimdsmith34]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

source http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2018/03/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any.html

[adambstingus]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/171944066947