#i feel like besides jinyoung

[star-suh]

Straight as A Line

Park Jinyoung x Male Reader

cw: homophobic top jinyoung, rough sex, dubious consent, hickeys, college au, swearing at each other, cheating, feminization, porn with a little of plot, a redemption arc for jinyoung lol… 

an: lmfaoooo that redemption arc happened when my music suddenly changed to lana del rey's songs changing the whole mood, i'm so sorry if this isn't what you wanted anon 😭🙏

this was a request.

—

the university where y/n was studying was planning a trip to go camping in the mountains. it was a dream trip for y/n, he could be close to nature and breathe that pure fresh air but all that sounded too nice to be true. 

"i don't know if i want to go on the trip, fuckass jinyoung is going and i don't feel like arguing with that son of a bitch" y/n tells his friend. 

jinyoung is one of those rich guys who have a lot of ass-lickers behind them, they do whatever he asks just for the money, also the guy is a fucking homophobe, when he found out that y/n is gay he started to make his life miserable. throwing slurs and swearing almost everyday towards the guy…

every student had an assigned seat “are we in school or something?” mocked jinyoung, his smile slowly fading seeing that he has to sit besides y/n “what the fuck? who put this pillow muncher beside me?” he yelled, “can you just shut the fuck up? you're not that important dude no one cares where you sit stop being a manchild” responded y/n making jinyoung's blood boil in anger.

“listen here, cocksucker. i don't want people like you near me you disgust me” he spat while signaling towards y/n with one finger. “stop signaling me you weirdo. you know that usually men who make fun of someone who is gay do it to cover up their homosexuality .. like why are you mad about me sucking a dick that's not so straight from you, jinyoung..” a grimace of laughter finding its way onto y/n's face while jinyoung's was red for the anger, y/n swear he can see the steam coming out of his ears.

jinyoung quietly accepted he lost this time and sat beside y/n ‘this is not going to stay like this’ he thought, crafting his revenge towards the guy.

it was night already, all the tents are ready and everyone is going inside them, y/n was getting ready to sleep in his sleeping bag when suddenly the zipper of his tent opens “what the fu-” a big hand covering his mouth to prevent him from making any noises. “hello motherfucker” jinyoung smiled “you thought i forgot what you said on the bus dirty whore? i think someone should teach you manners and how to be a nice obedient bitch, what do you think?”.

managing to get away from the strong grip of jinyoung's hand on his mouth y/n says “what the fuck are you talking about you fucking psycho, get out of my fucking tent before i start to scream”.

jinyoung's big veiny hand found its way towards y/n neck squeezing it hard “do it and what i'm gonna do next it's gonna be worse, you hear me?” scared by how menacing the words came out of his mouth y/n just nodded, “what do you want then, a public apology?. fucking asshole”.

“you see.. i was talking with my girlfriend and i got so horny-”, “and? do i look like some type of… friend to you? i don't wanna know shit about it” interrupted y/n. “anyways as i said” jinyoung continued “i'm so bricked that my dick is poking his way out of my shorts, so i was looking for a way to calm it but the rest of the bitches are sleeping and apparently you're the only one bitch awake so… i thought why not use this opportunity to help you be my obedient slut. after all you like cocks” he slapped gently y/n's cheeks. “fuck you” are the only words coming out of y/n's mouth…

“shh be quiet” whispered jinyoung while forcing his cock down y/n's throat, the gagging sounds making him more horny “you're so talented at cocksucking, truly a whore. you do it better than my girlfriend” he snickered while thrusting his thick cock. 

“never thought i would see you this fucked up” jinyoung was stroking his cock while y/n was laying down panting, trying to catch his breath, with spit and cum covering his face “talking about dirty whores when you can't keep that thing inside your pants. coming here like a needy bitch looking for a hole to fuck”.

jinyoung just stared at y/n with a smirk on his face “i'm not done with you slut, look at this” he pokes his rock hard cock making it bounce a little “i'm gonna wreck your boypussy. come here” his hand snaking around y/n's shorts and discarding them quickly, along with the underwear. “leave me alone whore” y/n tried to push jinyoung with his feet but the bastard was so strong… and sexy.

jinyoung spat on his fingers and rub it on y/n's rim the cold fluid sending shivers up his spine “hngh.. stop it manwhore…” the pleasure clouding his thinking. jinyoung slap his fuckmeat on the rim and slowly introduce it, drawing a loud moan grom y/n due to the stretching “shush be quiet. you don't want someone to find us right? or is that what you want? woah what a pervert” y/n just ignored the comment and sucked on jinyoung's fingers.

“is that all you got, fragile masculinity slut?. not gonna be surprised if your girlfriend kicks you, you suck at fucki-” a slap landed on y/n's cheek. “stop being a loud motherfucker and let me fuck your pussy” his anger being canalized into fucking y/n “i don't give a fuck if you like it or not” he growls “i’m only here to use you like you let other men do”.

“fuck i love the sight of your gaping pussy. after being passed around the whole university is still so tight… even more than my girlfriend's”. “can you stop mentioning her you asshole?. she deserves a better man than you” y/n says, accommodating himself to ride jinyoung “let's get this over with, i want you gone”.

everytime he goes down y/n makes sure to do it hard causing jinyoung to moan very loudly, “look who's the loud bitch now. you call yourself a man and can't even handle me”. jinyoung laughed quickly grabbing y/n by his ankles pulling them towards him folding y/n in the process, his dick going in and out. y/n squirmed, his eyes rolled back and mouth agape, feeling that cock reaching so deep inside him, no other cock has made him feel like that.

“what happened pillow muncher.. too much to handle?” he starts sucking hickeys in the back of y/n's neck. “i'm gonna breed this pussy and after this you're gonna be mine you hear me?” he whispered while flipping y/n a fuck him while he leans on his back “no… i don't belong to.. to anyone not even to a loser like you” the older just ignored it and continued looking for his pleasure.

“guess you're not that straight macho after all” y/n murmured drawing jinyoung's attention, “just because i'm stretching your boypussy and about to cream it right now doesn't make me a homo… i'm straight as a line..”. y/n with his hooded eyes make eye contact with the top, smiled and caressed his cheek “even the straightest line can be curved dumbass” he then kisses his forehead “c'mon cream this fucking pussy… isn't this what you want hurry up before someone wakes up” fucking himself in jinyoung's dick y/n also searched for his pleasure his cock splurting with cum minutes later landing on jinyoung's chest and abs, while that happened he squeezed so hard that jinyoung came without realizing it, emptying his balls in the insatiable hole of y/n. 

jinyoung tried to catch his breath resting his head on y/n's chest falling asleep, followed by y/n minutes later.

the ride back to university was surprisingly quiet, jinyoung didn't say a word about sitting next to y/n, everyone was surprised. one by one they got off the bus with jinyoung and y/n being the last, the tall one grabbed the shorter one by the hand so that he wouldn't come down yet. "i'm going to break up with my girlfriend... what i’m doing with her is not right." "wow, at least there's some empathy inside that empty skull" y/n responded. jinyoung just laughed looking at y/n with a fond smile "sigh... i'm so sorry for what i’ve put you through all these years... i know that's not going to change the damage i've already done but i want to start being a good person… wanna go eat lunch? it's on me".

surprised by the sudden change y/n wondered what happened with him last night “are you okay? did you eat something strange this morning?”. “no fucking asshole i just… i just wanted to change my behaviour… you know if the straightest line can be curved that means that we can change and it's never too late to do it” y/n just stared at him dumbfounded “are you being serious right now? are you philosophizing over a silly phrase i just made up…ugh fucking corny anyways is free food and i can't say no to that so text me where is it and see you there. i guess..” y/n was about to get off but turned around, stood up and pet jinyoung's head, a slight blush covering his cheeks. jinyoung just stood there watching y/n get off the bus with a smile slowly forming in his face.

[emojellyace08]

Hiii! I love the way you write and I was wondering if I could make a request (only if you want)

So how about the lookism boys reaction to an extremely beautiful and ethereal fem!reader who is like so feminine and ethereal she looks like a princess from a fairytale and even animals love her??

Anyways remember to stay safe and healthy!!

Lookism Men x Stunning Fem! Reader

Hiii Thanks for the request @jejegilipollas! This kind of reminds me of a Disney Princess reader! I'll be doing headcannons for almost every Lookism Men so I wouldn't leave out who you actually simp for xD. And remember all of us are really pretty in our on ways and we're all equal. And stay safe and healthy too! Warnings: insecurities, mentions of trauma, mature themes for the bottom/second part Genre: fluff ☁️ angst 🥀, slight lemon/smut 🍋 slight crack (comedy)🧨 ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Daniel Park/Jay Hong/Zack Lee/Vasco/Eli Jang/Warren Chae/Jerry Kwon/Johan Seong/Jake Kim/Sinu Han/Duke Pyeon/Jace Park/Line Man/Brad Lee/Jiho Park/Magami Kenta/Young Jinyoung Park/Young Gapryong Kim/Jichang Kwak/Taesoo Ma/Xiaoleoung/Jihan Kwak/Jibeom Kwak/Yuseong

He doesn't really prioritize having a "Goddess or too good to be true looking girlfriend" since he already has lots of trauma and he's been really stressful lately. So having a dependable, trust-worthy, and helpful partner is enough for him.

But when he saw you, a transferee student/staff on his school/working place he couldn't stop staring at you. He may look like a creep so when you turn in his direction, so he'll look away pretty fast. But you took notice of this and knowing your friendly personality and warm vibes, you thought befriending him isn't a bad idea.

So when you approached him, he couldn't help but to blush and be awkward around you. He thinks that you're too good for him and he's out of your league. Your smart, pretty, kind, you name it. Because of his insecurities getting in his way, he doesn't really know if he even deserves to stay beside you. But after getting to know you better, you're not really a judgmental person and you're always staying beside him even when things aren't really going well for him. So he really learned how to trust you more.

He's also the type to innocently admire your beauty. He'll definitely shower you with lots of pure compliments! "Hi Y/N!" "Oh hello." you greeted him back with a soft voice as he noticed your hair tied in a different hair style since you often let your hair be loose down. "Your hair looks pretty today." he complimented you while rubbing his nape feeling shy. "Oh really? Thank you!" you smiled back at him, you've been feeling down lately because of your pretty privilege making you insecure. But his compliments just makes your day better. "Yeah, no problem."

You may not know it but it's obvious that he's an animal lover. And he always adopts or feed stray pups and kittens who either lost their way or have gotten abandoned by their animal parent or owner. So you asked him about this and he seems pretty flustered when you brought about the topic and you couldn't help but to giggle at his reaction. Oh God, your voice sounds so pretty. He really can't help but to admire you even more. He just really can't help but to compliment you a lot though you can hear the shy and bashful tone beneath his voice.

So when you're walking home after school/work, you saw a little kitten crying near the road. You decided to gently approach the animal since it can get hurt by a vehicle if you just let it be. You called for it's attention with a sweet voice. And unexpectedly, the cute furball didn't hesitate to rub her body on your leg making you chuckle. "You found a stray kitten?" you heard a familiar voice as you turned around to see that it's just him making you sigh. "Jesus, you scared me" you replied back as he softly chuckled and squatted down beside you making sure that he wouldn't scare the kitten away. "Shh, don't worry little one he's a nice guy" you cooed as he was shocked at your statement. Him? A nice guy? He couldn't help but frown thinking about the things he have done and the names people called him. He feels like you're too good for him, yet you're like a fire in a cold snowy weather. It may seems like your warm feeling can hurt him, but it's in fact the opposite. You made him feel, what's the word. Relaxed? Comfortable? He doesn't really know as he couldn't stay away from you no matter how many times he tried.

"So umm..." "Yes?" you asked him in a sweet tone as he tried completing his sentence, he couldn't help but stutter since he's been hiding his true feelings for you for a long time now. "I have pet food on my house, would you mind if we take her home?" he requested as your eyes sparkled. "Really? Sure! I was also planning to buy her food since it looks like she hasn't been fed for days." "Okay, but do you think you can carry her? Stray cats may have rabies if you got bitten y'know" he reminded you as you chuckled once again. "Don't worry. She let me touch her and it seems like she's getting used with my presence" "Sure. Let's go now" he stood up as you picked the little kitty on your warm arms. "So what will you name her?" he asked on his way home as you followed next to him. "Meowy!" (Chainsaw Man reference lol) "Meowy?" "Yeah. I couldn't think of a cool name. And when I saw her she didn't even hesitate to greet me, so I think Meowy will be her name" you stated as he can still see the light behind your eyes (MCR reference lol) as you petted the animal already felling asleep. He smiled at you as he thought how not only how beautiful you are, you also have a good heart. "Meowy is a pretty name. You should keep it" he replied back as you smiled at him and continued to thank him for helping you out on taking care of the little kitten. Can he just enjoy this moment with you? He have forgotten the danger outside the world as he has the desire to protect you. You really are his sunshine.

Gun Park/Samuel Seo/James Lee or DG/Magami Kenta/Hudson Ahn/Vin Ho Bin(Vin Jin)/Cheong Taejin/Mandeok/Olly Wang/Jiho Park (villain arc)

For the most part, he's not the type to be looking for a date unlike the others. He's not a hopeless romantic.

Though if he founds someone attractive he can't help himself to do the fling with them, releasing his stress on someone while making himself feel good. Yep, he's only fucking someone just so he can pleasure himself. Nothing more and nothing less.

But he can't help but to curious the moment he laid his eyes on you. You're cute to be honest, he won't deny that. You look and act so fragile, innocent most likely. You're also very gentle, sweet and passionate. Contrasting his wild and bold side. He's like a wild animal. He's harsh, aggressive and cold. He never has the desire to be involved on a romantic relationship. He finds the idea of it cringy to be honest. He finds it making him vulnerable. And he finds the idea of having a soft spot on someone well what's the word, to be honest he can't put words on the idea of it.

He does wonder sometimes if he actually lived a decent life, but that doesn't mean that he has regrets of becoming who he is today. He's strong and he can handle things on his own which makes him proud of himself. But hearing it from you and showering him with pure and genuine compliments sounds and feel very different. "Wow! You're so cool and strong!" you stated as your eyes sparkled like little stars on the dark, starry night. He smirked at this, he must admit that you look so innocent and if you continued to act like this, he wouldn't hesitate to give you a kiss if he's more affectionate. "Well I know" he simply replied. Thinking about this moments make his head ache and his stomach grumble. It's not because he's sick, but is it because of what most called butterflies? He chuckled at the thought of it. It's useless. He doesn't need anybody let alone a girl, but he'll often look for your presence when you and him are away for each other even if it's not a very long time.

And it makes him wonder why do you always stay on his side. You and him are too different. You actually lived a decent and peaceful life with a healthy environment, unlike him who's always surrounded by thugs and who's often obsessed with money, power, drugs, alcohol and sex. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, he does like you. That's why he's always pushing you away. He doesn't want you to get hurt. And he'll definitely kicked someone's ass if they ever tried to lay their hands on you.

"Hey," he called for your attention as you looked at him with those doe-like eyes. His voice sounds a bit harsh and demanding, but after getting to know him better and getting close to him you know that he's just like that to everybody. And you know that he actually doesn't mean it to be like that. "Yes?" you asked him softly as he made eye-contact. "Why do you always stay next to me?" he asked curiously as it made you slightly upset to be honest. Does he think of you as a burden? Are you annoying? Well despite you always getting compliments from other people about how you look like a princess or Goddess that popped on a fairy tail and given life, you're actually insecure about yourself. Your gentle and feminine side can be annoying to some. You can't help but to feel like a little child that always needed to be protected and taken care of. And you often cared too much about others making you a people pleaser. "What do you mean?" you chuckled trying to hide your distress but he took notice of this. He doesn't mean to be rude, he sighed as he reconstructed his statement since you misunderstood it in the wrong way. "I mean, why do you stay beside me? You can get hurt you know?" he stated as your eyes sparkled once again. "Ahh, you mean in that way?" "Yeah." "Well, because you're really nice!" you honestly answered as he was shocked by your response. Really? Most people viewed him as an asshole for beating them up for his work. "You're joking right?" "Why do you think I'm joking? You're strong, kind well in some times, and you actually protected me when I need help." you smiled at him once again as he looked from a different direction trying to hide his blush. So far, that's the most genuine compliment he got from someone else.

And he also took notice of how gentle you are with animals. Not only you help out other people, but also those street kittens and pups that randomly pop up on streets. He just finds owning a pet a bit stressful since he already has lots of responsibility in his shoulders. "PLEASE CAN WE ADOPT HIM!" you pleaded as you cling on his arms making him groan. "No." "WHY!" "Well, I can't take care of it and I don't want to." he answered honestly but in a brutal way making you frown. If you have dog ears right now it will droop down and your eyes got bigger again like you're about to cry. "Please? I'll take care of it..." you put your hands together begging as he stares at you. He honestly find it cringy since he doesn't know if you're doing that on purpose or if you're just too soft. Not being able to stop you, he sighed. "Fine, but don't ask me to be his babysitter." he looked away as you smiled once again. "C'mon just tell me that you also find him cute!" "Shut up..." he may sound rude, but you can see that little smirk forming on his lips.

Goo Kim/Jake Kim/Kuroda Ryuhei/Yoojin/Sinu Han

This men will be a 100% simp for you (especially Goo and Ryuhei). He just founds you really hot, cute and pretty! Well you name it.

In some levels, they do care about their partner's appearance (remember having preferences are not bad ladies and gentle man). But they actually do not belittle others who are not their taste especially women since for the most part. He's a gentleman (or he tries to be).

To be honest, they're just secretly horny lmao. Remember they're still men so having a partner with a beautiful face and body just makes him worked up. Like, you don't have a right to be this pretty (he just praises you at this point).

But he does know deep inside that looks are not just a fundamental in having a partner. He does care about personality. He just honestly can't stand women who looks hot but just acts annoying and bitchy most of the time. It turns him off the most. But meeting you is one of the best blessing he have. Not only you look like a deity, but you also act like one. He just thought you're an angel who fell from the sky, in this hellish place called Earth. Did God sent you for him? Is life not finally being an ass to him? Who knows.

He'll also compliment you 24/7. Like his mouth just wouldn't stop talking about you. Like, in some levels you kind of find it annoying especially if you're the quiet one. You also probably thought at first that he's a perv but he's just being honest and appreciative! So you just brushed it off and you actually started appreciating his comments about you since it's not harming you in anyways. In fact it also boosts your confidence even more. "Y/N do you know how pretty you are?" he teased just to get a reaction out of you (and he also likes making you smile H:LKHDL:KHAL:KFH:LDKHA) "Of course I do" you smirked as you played along with him. "Well you actually look like a koala" "HEY THAT'S RUDE!" you stated as he laughed at your reaction "BUT KOALAS ARE CUTE!".

He also finds it adorable when you adopt stray animals. He just finds you "waifu material" girl. He also fantasizes about adopting 5 kittens or puppies with you and living on a peaceful and small town. You know, just the normal couple living their best life. Though he wouldn't be open about it since he finds it lowkey embarrassing lmao. "BABE! I FOUND A KITTEN ON A STREET!" "C'mon Y/N it's the fifth time you adopted a cat. Are you making an orphanage out of animals?" he teased as your kitten named Pebbles cling into him like a toddler begging for his dad's attention. "Please? I already have a name for her" you pleaded as he sighed knowing that he can't stop your motherly behavior with animals and besides he finds the cat cute too, it's a pure white kitten with blue sapphire like eyes. "What's her name though?" he asked curiously as you smiled and named the cat Snow. "Why won't you name her Elsa?" "C'mon love you make too much jokes." you sighed trying not to laugh as he chuckled at your reaction. "I'm just kidding, besides Snow's a really fitting name." he gently picked the cat on your arms and petting it. He just finds you daring. You're more than just your looks and he finds that fascinating :3.

A/N: I hope you really like it! It's kind of rushed yet late lmao. And I'm more of a cat person than a dog person but I still hoped you liked it!

[kmazine]

I Can't Have You

bestfriend!jinyoung x female reader

genre : angst

For some reason, the walk back home feel so long and painful.

"Why it can't it be me?"

"I love you, Jinyoung"

You silently mutter under your breath. The words that you couldn't even say to him. The tears you don't bother to wipe, streaming down your face.

"Jinyoung, you okay?" You ask your best friend over the phone when your best friend called you an hour ago. It was late at night so you wonder why he call.

It was silent for a few seconds until you heard sniffles taking over the background noise that you register was from some television show. You didn't think much more. You immediately jump out from your bed and run towards your door.

"I'm coming" You heard Jinyoung replied with a sad hum and probably a nod, and that makes you fasten you steps. Luckily his apartment is not that far so you already in his apartment within minutes.

"Hey, you okay? How many days you've been drinking like this?" Closing the door behind you and took off your shoes, you can see few empty bottles of soju on the floor next to him. You immediately sit beside him on the floor. Your heart sank at the way his shoulder slouch, arms hugging his knees. He looks up to you when he hears your presence. And you look at him. Eyes swollen and he looks gaunt too. You scoot next to him and wrap your arms around his shoulder, hoping that you'd bring him comfort.

"We- we broke up" His tears starts to roll down his cheeks again as he said that. You let out a pain sigh, slowly wiping his tears with your fingers and pat his head softly.

"It's okay, Jinyoung. You will get through this. You will be fine okay?" You still stroking his hair, like an adult trying to persuade a child to not cry over candies.

"But I really love her, Y/n. It's been a few days and it hurts me that I can't see her face and listen to her voice. I can't do this Y/n. I miss her so much I feel like -- my heart..." He sniffled between words and voice quavering at the last part as he tapping his chest harder each sentences as if that will ever chase the pain away. You take his hands away and give him a tight grip, as to tell him, you're there for him. Your heart clenched to see him like this.

You know falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea. You've been liking him even before you became friend. Stealing glance at him during the class or sometimes exchanging smiles and nods when you saw each others is your definition of happiness back then. Then one semester, you and Jinyoung were assigned together for university projects and both of you clicked right away and the next thing you know, you two are inseparable as best friends. When you thought it's going to be easy for you and your feelings, but it was far from that.

Because from then on, Jinyoung see you as his best friend and best friend only.

Then start the cycle of your crumbling love story. You listen to his sobbing stories after the break ups like a best friend do. He try to match you with his other good friends because as a best friend, he want to see you happy with a good guy. Once, you ended up help him with the girl he likes because he just can't stop begging you.

Even after graduating and working on different companies, the cycle never end. And that's why it's hard. It's harder now to confess and tell him you love him. After everything, after all these years.

Especially this time, the relationship didn't seems like the others. He wasn't just smitten, and she didn't seem like the other girls she dated in the past. As much as you hate to admit it, he's definitely in love. You never thought they'll break up if you're being honest. She's a perfect woman any man can ever wish. It was perfect, as if they're actually made for each others.

You know asking him what happened now wont help him so you decided to make him a meal and tea to calm himself down. It was hard forcing the man to eat but you do every way you can and he finally give in.

"I don't know what will I do without you. Thank you Y/n" He give you a sad smile as he lays down on the couch. Deep sighs never left his mouth. You put the empty bottles in a plastic and put them aside and clean his messy living room.

"Glad I could help. You look too miserable for me not to to do that. I know it's hard but please, do not skip meals." You grabbing the blanket to cover his full body.

"Y/n?" He called for you so you lower yourself so your eyes meet on his level.

"Is it always this hard after the break up? It hurts so much. How can love be this painful huh? "He chuckles - probably knows how pathetic and sad he sound right now. You didn't say anything, just let him rambles more and give him another sympathetic smiles.

You make sure he was sleeping when you decided to leave. You're about to close the door when you heard his phone rings. You can hear Jinyoung shuffles to get up and the last thing you heard his voice saying her name. You closed the door shut, hoping that your heart closed the same for him.

There is a person that you can’t have even when you love them,

Just look at me, I’m next to you but I can’t have you,

I can’t have you.

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a.n : this one have been sitting in my draft for months now. This is based from Bank's I Can't Have You (korean old song) and the lyrics are just heart breaking so here we go. Again, please do not mind the grammatical mistakes and typos. I will fix it later from time to time. Because the more I re-read, the more I want to delete this so I'll just post first.

[sweetestofchaos]

Got7′s Reaction to...Your Time of the Month

Backstory: You cancel date night because your period is kicking your ass

Mark

Mark’s been through this before, thanks to his sisters. He even has an app to keep track of everything himself. He planned date night with the possibility of your period coming into play. Mark is at your door with flowers and a new stuffy that also acts as a heating pad since you like to cuddle so much. He brings dinner to you from that restaurant that you wanted to try and later orders dessert to be delivered right to your door. The two of you are on the couch, your head reading on Mark’s lap while he massages your temples and pecks your nose playfully.

“Babe? Surprise! I hope you’re up for cuddles and chocolate!”

Jaebeom

This man is hands on. He is rubbing your back, using that super expensive body creme that you love so much. He remembered that you were running low and thought this was the best time to gift you with more...yes you did cry. Jaebeom’s fingers works their magic while you scroll through his phone trying to decide what you want to eat for dinner. You want something spicy and sweet. Keeping you in his arms, Jaebeom digs his fingers into your lower back and lets you absorb his body heat.

“Feeling better, babe? No? Just take a nap. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jackson

The moment he receives your text message, he’s already driving to the store with a mental checklist. He’s buying your favorite candy, tea and ramen. He even makes it a point to stop at that little bakery you love so much and gets your favorite cake. When Jackson shows up to your place, he is bundling you up in a warm blanket and hand feeding you which ever food you want first while giving you endless cuddles.

“Want more candy? Drink? Does it still hurt? Want me to kiss it better?”

Jinyoung

Canceling date night is a strong no. Jinyoung comes over to your place all dressed up and when he sees you on the couch stuffing your face with treats he sighs. Jinyoung settles beside you and pulls your feet into his lap, rubbing your feet and calves while you put on a movie. He’s okay with a date night in, no worries.

*sighs* “You’re really feeling it tonight huh? Did you need me to grab anything before you pass out?”

Youngjae

Youngjae is worried, very worried. He knows that your period isn’t fun at all, hell the last time it landed you in the hospital. He brings out the big guns and asks his eomma for her famous beef stir-fry recipe and gets to work. He even stops by her house to steal some homemade kimchi. At your place, Youngjae won’t let you move a finger. He is at your beck and call, treating you like the royalty that you are. The candy and little kisses to your forehead while you snuggle Coco is a wonderful bonus.

“Awe, my baby...I-I got eomma’s beef stir-fry recipe! Just wait a little and we can eat, kay? Get some rest, my lovely. Coco, your on watch until I’m done!”

Bambam

Can you say extra? This man is at your door with half the pharmacy and the ice cream aisle in his arms. Bambam makes sure to settle you in bed, making a fortress of pillows and the new heated blanket he got you. It’s nothing but sweet kisses and soothing words as he pulls out a handheld massager and starts working on your lower back and shoulders.

*struggling to turn on the massager* “Get comfy while I figure this thing out...oh! Nevermind, I got it!”

Yugyeom

Your pain is Yugyeom’s pain. The poor guy is doing the best he can at keeping you comfy, all nice and tucked away in your bed. He flew to your house with nothing but his love and Dalkyum. Thankfully you have everything you need to help ease the pain. Yugyeom orders food and he runs to the corner store to get treats, Facetiming you to make sure he gets everything that you would want along with some extra pain medicine.

“Okay, now what do you want, babe? Chocolate? Which one?”

[blu-joons]

When The Boys Tease You After Overhearing You Both ~ Got7 Reaction

Mark:

You looked in surprise as you noticed Jackson curled up fast asleep on the sofa of the studio as you entered just behind Mark after showing up late.

“He’s a bit tired,” Yugyeom explained to the two of you, “he said something about being disturbed quite a bit through the night.”

“How come?” Mark quizzed as he perched down on the arm of the sofa, “we weren’t disturbed by anything through the night.”

At Mark’s comment, Jackson began to stir, not quite as asleep as you thought he was. “That’s because you guys were the disturbance.”

Mark’s eyes widened as he looked to Jackson in disbelief, “I don’t quite know what disturbed you, but you can’t just blame us.”

“Who else would’ve been having sex last night?” Jackson openly asked, stunning the two of you and making you freeze as neither of you quite knew what to say in reply.

“Oh,” Mark mumbled as Jackson expectantly looked back at you both, folding his arms across his chest as he sat himself back up, letting go of a yawn as he did so too.

“I hope you’re happy,” he scolded, “I’m absolutely knackered.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Jay B:

The smile on Jinyoung’s face was wide as you and Jaebeom finally walked downstairs, joining the boys in the living room of the house you were renting.

“Did you guys have a good night?” Jinyoung enquired, looking between the two of you. “Did you get up to anything fun last night?”

“We didn’t do too much,” Jaebeom replied as he sat down, “just watched a few things, had a nice relaxing evening for once in our lives.”

Jinyoung’s head nodded as he listened intently, “it sounds like you were very relaxed, although there’s one thing missing from that list.”

Both you and Jaebeom wore furrowed brows as Jinyoung hinted at the two of you. “What else did we do last night then?”

“You’re allowed to tell us you had sex,” Jinyoung assured the two of you, “I mean we all heard the two of you at it so it’s not exactly a secret between you and us anymore.”

“Y-you heard us?” You stuttered, looking between Jaebeom and Jinyoung. “You told me that there was no way that we would end up disturbing any of the boys last night.”

“He lied,” Jinyoung joked, “I bet secretly who knew exactly what he was doing.”

“I really had no idea.”

Jackson:

A groan came from Youngjae as you and Jackson finally appeared, intimidated by the stare that he looked at the two of you with, following you closely.

“Thanks for making me feel super single last night,” Youngjae told you both, “it’s been a while since I heard some of those noises from you.”

“What are you on about? Making you feel single?” Jackson enquired, his brows knitting together in confusion as to what was going on.

A snigger came from Youngjae as he studied Jackson’s expression, “do you have any idea how loud the two of you were last night?”

Jackson’s head shook innocently, but beside him, you stayed pretty still. “I think maybe we were a little bit louder than usual.”

“A little bit?” Youngjae gasped in surprise back across to you, “it almost felt as if the two of you were in the same room as me with how clear some of those noises I was hearing were.”

“That’s enough,” Jackson panicked, noticing how shy you were next to him. “We’re very sorry that we made you feel single, Youngjae, we promise that it won’t happen again.”

“Don’t mock me,” he laughed, “I’m being serious with you.”

“And we are with you.”

Jinyoung:

You looked to BamBam in confusion as he walked across to you and Jinyoung, handing you a receipt. As you looked through, you noticed what it was for.

“I need these now after last night,” BamBam told you as he brought the ear plugs that he had bought from his pocket to shoe the two of you.

“Why do we need the receipt to know that you’ve brought ear plugs?” Jinyoung quizzed in confusion, “it’s not exactly our problem, is it?”

BamBam’s head shook in reply to Jinyoung’s question, “that’s where you’re wrong. I need them so that I don’t have to listen to you two.

You and Jinyoung met one another with puzzled eyes, looking to BamBam for more explanation. “Why are you listening to us?”

“It was pretty hard not to last night,” he muttered, “you guys can buy me these so that I don’t have to listen to the two of you having sex ever again, I think I’m scarred for life.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Jinyoung dismissed, pushing against BamBam’s arm. “We weren’t that loud, you just want us to feel sorry for you or something, that’s all.”

“For once,” BamBam admitted, “I’m actually not being dramatic.”

“You’re always dramatic Bam.”

Youngjae:

You wanted the ground to swallow you up as Yugyeom asked you about your evening, able to tell from the look in his eyes what he was hinting at.

“I mean Youngjae is loud at the best of times,” Yugyeom pointed out, still noticing how oblivious Youngjae was to what was going on around him.

“That’s mean,” Youngjae responded, slightly offended. “What would suddenly make you say something like that? What did I do to you?”

Yugyeom’s smile dropped as Youngjae asked the question, “what did you do to me? I spent my night listening to your audio of your nice time.”

Youngjae’s narrowed eyes looked at you as he still didn’t quite understand. “Sex,” you whispered across to him, “Yugyeom heard us.”

“I heard every single sound,” Yugyeom made sure to point out to the two of you. “I’ve heard some noises come out of you Jae, but even some of those were interesting ones.”

“Can we stop talking about this now?” You cried out, feeling your heart race in humiliation. “Maybe we can talk about what we’re going to order in for breakfast again.”

“Why so keen Y/N?” Yugyeom teased, “you weren’t shy last night.”

“Literally, shut up now.”

BamBam:

You rolled away from BamBam, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to catch your breath, feeling his hand interlock with yours with a tight grip on you.

“Finally!” You suddenly heard one of the boys yell from just outside your room, “it can’t be that good to need to make that much noise you know.”

“That’s Mark,” BamBam pointed out to you, biting down on his bottom lip. “You don’t think he actually heard us, do you?” He then asked.

Your head nodded immediately in reply to BamBam’s question, “maybe we were a little bit noisier than we usually are, do you think?”

A loud sigh came from BamBam as he looked up to the ceiling too, “I’m never going to hear the end of this if they really heard us.”

“You should’ve been quiet,” you teased, nudging against his side. “Look at it this way, at least the boys now know that you’re doing a good job in bed, that’s quite important.”

“That does actually make me feel better,” BamBam chuckled in surprise, “I’ve never heard any of the boys, so they can’t be anywhere near as good as me, that feels pretty good.”

“See,” you sniggered, “being noisy has its advantages sometimes.”

“This is definitely one of them.”

Yugyeom:

The sound of Jaebeom yawning made both you and Yugyeom look across to him in confusion, noticing how much more dramatic he was than usual.

“Don’t mind me,” he told the two of you as you sat down across the room from him. “I’ve just not had a very good night of sleep, that’s all.”

“Why?” Yugyeom innocently asked him, hearing several scoffs come from around the room. “Did something keep you awake or anything?”

Jaebeom’s eyebrows raised at Yugyeom’s question, “you could certainly say that someone, or two someones kept me awake last night.”

The look that Jaebeom gave you quickly meant the penny dropped for you. “Gyeom, I think he might’ve been kept up by us.”

“Us?” Yugyeom asked, flustered by what you had told him. He looked across to Jaebeom only to see him nodding his head, struggling to hold back his laughter at your panic.

“Well, this is embarrassing,” you grumbled as once again Jaebeom made sure to let go of a nice, loud noise to get both of your attention. “You can stop doing that as well, idiot.”

“I’m just making sure you know,” he smiled, “my tiredness is your fault.”

“Trust me, we already know.”

---

Masterlist

[w3bgrl]

universal deviation

synopsis: changbin and juyeon officially deny their dating rumors; now it’s time to talk about it privately.

date: april 5th 2019

era: miroh

word count: 2.3k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin, jyp, bang chan

warnings: n/a, just angst! maybe hinted misogyny at the end?

a/n: lied in that ask lol merry binchumas to those who celebrate! ps this occurs after their music bank performance! also ummm calling jyp ‘jinyoung’ is so weirddd (°_°)

“so…i’m sure you both know why i called you in today,”

changbin and juyeon sat anxiously before their boss in the jyp entertainment conference room with sweaty palms, tongues nearly bitten in half as he spoke.

“but, i wanted to get on top of this issue before it could get too out of hand. especially since you’re in the same group. firstly, however,”

they swore they could guess what was coming next.

“congratulations on your first win yesterday!”

juyeon and changbin let out a breath they had been holding since the moment they entered the room and smiled with the relief of some weight being lifted from their chests, thanking him humbly in unison.

“i have high hopes for the future of stray kids.” jinyoung eye-smiled in the same kindred way he always did to make others feel more comfortable in his authoritative presence. “i believe your time to really shine will come sooner than later, and i look forward to watching you all grow as artists.”

his smile fell now, replaced with that stone cold expression they had become quite familiar with during their trainee days. “but, all of that starts with maintaining your images for the fans. so, i’d like to get a direct quote that explains the situation and clarifies the status of your relationship with one another.”

“before we begin,” jinyoung slid the notepad beside him closer to where he could write “i’ll remind you that the company dating policy states that romantic relationships are strictly prohibited for the first 3 years after debut. in your case, this will be in 2021. i think as idols, the first three to five years after debut should be focused purely on promoting. so, with that said, is there anything in particular you would like to be cited?”

for the first time since sitting down the accused pair now looked at one another with knowing eyes. it was a good thing they read each other better than jyp because obviously they saw right through the others feigned innocence. juyeon was the first to turn back to their boss, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before she spoke.

“um…i know to be more subtle showing affection to my members for the public eye, so i apologize for acting without thinking. i will be more careful with my actions moving forward.”

the older man nodded approvingly and began to transcribe her account on his notepad. at this same time, changbin nudged her foot with his own under the table, eyes meeting from the corners of their vision. his eyebrows just barely knitted together like he disapproved of what she said, and as jyp looked back up, juyeon shifted to cross her legs.

“so,” he sighed and clicked his pen a few times “i’m just gonna go right ahead and ask; are you two in a relationship?”

changbin was the one to speak this time. “no.” he said stolidly, his tone flat and almost disinterested. “we’re just friends.”

“close friends.” she added

there was a moment of scrutiny from the man across the table who stared at them with narrowed, unmoving eyes. to be completely fair, both of their answers did sound a little uncertain, like they weren’t on the same page about where they stood. yet, jinyoung simply nodded and jotted down their words.

“that is good to hear, teamwork is an important piece of the puzzle. i hope this incident won’t impact your friendship.”

it was a blessing their boss wasn’t paying them any mind when he said this. even the most oblivious person in the world could have noticed the thunderstorm that brewed between them, growling and snarling as lightning struck with his words. they shared another knowing glance.

the trip home was quiet.

changbin and juyeon walked side by side with an unfamiliar distance between them, sullen eyes wandering from the cold tile flooring every few seconds to get a glimpse of the other. neither dared to mention the dark clouds that hung over their heads and instead fell head first into the busy swirl of anxieties, only starting to get dizzy once they arrived at their front door. changbin prayed that someone - anyone - would be home to ease the aching tension between them but all hope was lost when he wiggled the handle to find it locked.

the younger boy sighed heavily as he fished in his pocket for the key and hurriedly unlocked the door, obviously frustrated and yet he still held it open for her.

once in the entryway they both turned away from one another to take their shoes off and throw their stuff down haphazardly by the door. from his spot on the ground to unlace his boots changbin could see juyeon face him for only a moment before she left to disappear around the corner of the living room, a heavy thud followed by a grumble echoing off the wooden floors. he finally worked the shoe off his heel and meekly followed after to find her slumped into the couch.

juyeon looked up at him through her dark lashes and, though her features were tainted with woe, she offered him a weak smile. changbin felt a kick to the chest and left a noticeable gap as he sat down beside her, his mannerisms and movements now much softer than just a few moments ago.

there was a good long pause where both of them searched for something to say. anything would have sufficed, honestly, because this melancholic silence was really starting to eat away at their shared sanity. or what little was left of it at this point.

“please say something.”

she’d never heard his voice so frail, so weak. like a child asking for reassurance that things were okay. and unfortunately, the older girl didn’t have anything reassuring to say. she opted for another approach instead.

“sorry for getting you caught up in all this.”

changbin habitually reached out to tuck the stray hairs behind her ear so he could see her face but decided against it halfway. he sat back. “it’s a two-way street, joong. you can’t take all the blame.”

“but i am to blame.” she hummed, her gaze everywhere but him “we wouldn’t be here if i just…didn’t do…what i did...”

“…ju.”

finally she looked back over at the delicate flower beside her who blinked away tears as he shifted in his seat. “i’m glad you did. if not i would’ve spent the rest of my life wondering what it would be like. whatever it—”

he stopped himself. he knew what it was. they both did. and it was a part of the past now, there was no point in weaseling around anymore. still, he couldn’t put the word to it.

“—it was nice. and for what it’s worth, i wouldn’t change anything. if given another chance i’d do it all again. i’d rather die at your hands than never have felt them at all.”

she couldn’t help but smile at his words. he was always so poetic.

“you’re really special, you know that? i don’t know if anyone’s ever told you. i don’t know if i ever told you. but i hope you know. there is no one else in the world that even comes close.”

while the older girl rarely allowed her painful emotions to be shown in front of anyone else, changbin was someone who wore his heart on his sleeve - feelings displayed before him for anyone to bear witness. so when he finally gave up on fighting the tears and let them fall in thick streams down his cheeks that met at the scar on his chin, juyeon had to look away.

“don’t do that.” her voice was shaky as she nudged him with her foot “i’m not going anywhere — neither are you. i’ll be right here for a long time.”

he finally broke his gaze from her figure to wipe his wet face. “i know - i just…i just wish things were different. i don’t want this chapter to be over yet.”

there was a beat before her response.

“i’ll keep the corner folded on your page.”

her words resonated a bittersweet song that played on his heartstrings and when he was finally able to convince himself to look back over at the close friend beside him, there was already that familiar doting smile on her lips. he could feel his eyes getting wet again as she reached out to wipe the overlooked tear on his cheek and, for the first time, her touch left a sting.

“i know your feelings are locked up tight and all but…” he winced “how are you so okay?”

juyeon took a deep breath, subconsciously self-soothing. “i have to be. at least on the outside.”

“you can’t keep that up forever”

“it won’t be forever. just for…” her comforting smile became muddled as the timeline began to unfold before her “…for a while.” she said. her mouth tasted bitter.

he wanted to refute her claims - to tell her that it was okay to show them (him) how she really felt, especially in the privacy of their own dorm. but as he took just a second longer to think about it, he realized she was right. they weren’t just automatically in the clear once the statement came out, and though he’d certainly have to make some adjustments, juyeon especially would be scrutinized far worse than he ever would. or any other member for that matter. it happened before for less. he just couldn’t stop wishing that things were different; the people and the standards and their boss and —

“hey,”

her soft hum pulled him from the spiral.

“one day we’ll look back and laugh about this. and things will be different, but it’ll be okay. it is okay.”

changbin caught her fingers to pull her hand away from his cheek, deciding instead to cherish how perfectly the puzzle pieces of their palms fit together just one more time. he watched his thumb trace over the tattoo on the back of her hand and spoke so softly it was almost like he didn’t want her to hear him.

“i’ll ache over you until then.”

juyeon gave his hand a squeeze, and in that soft voice he used to adore, she put the final nail in the coffin that sealed their fate. maybe it was cruel of her; finally putting a word to it now of all times. but to her it was more like a secret message to the universe. like folding the corner of a page to revisit it later.

“the love isn’t going anywhere, bin. it’ll always be here.”

without the context she kept hidden inside, her original theory was correct; it was cruel. and her choice of words hit him like a truck. though he’d never been stabbed before, changbin could imagine that it felt pretty similar to this. and just as the tears began to fall again, there was a commotion on the other side of the room.

the pained pair whipped their heads in horror to see what it was - who had just stumbled upon something they definitely shouldn’t have - only to find chan waddling out of his room, eyes bleary with sleep. his hair stuck up in all places and as his focus zeroed-in on the recently accused chan was quickly brought back to reality.

“hey — are you okay? the meeting?”

changbin still hadn’t gotten past that word yet; love. it rang in his ears like his morning alarms, jarring and above all else, frustrating. that just left juyeon to handle the damage control and thankfully she was quick to jump into action.

“meeting went fine, binnie just felt bad i got in trouble.” she feigned nonchalance and fluffed his hair while he wiped his tears “but it’s okay, nothing’s changing and there should be a statement soon.”

changbin sniffled and plastered on a weak smile with a thumbs up to help the cause. it seemed to work as chan nodded with a yawn.

“well, i’m glad it went well. sorry you got in trouble, biya.”

she stood with a shrug, finally leaving the younger boys’ side to lighten the tension she felt with a joke as she grabbed a drink from the fridge. “it’s fine. just can’t be friends with my friends on camera, that’s all.”

chan chuckled dryly, “you’re funny, but that actually makes me very sad.”

“want a hug?” she offered over her shoulder as she unscrewed the lid.

“of course!”

the leader (who seemed like both the oldest and the maknae at times) giggled and happily bounced over to her, arms wrapping around her waist to lift her off her feet in a tight bear hug. he made incomprehensible squeaky noises as she wheezed and set her back down with a pat on the head.

juyeon laughed breathlessly as a result of having all the oxygen squeezed from her lungs. “better?”

“for now.” chan beamed. the chirp! of a twitter notification made his phone vibrate in his pocket and upon checking it he looked back to changbin, tears gone but the emotion still prevalent. “the rest of the boys should be bringing food home soon and then we’re going to the studio. you guys coming?”

both parties hummed in response.

he nodded and began to backpedal toward the bathroom. “kay, then i’m gonna go take a quick shower before i have to fight for it.”

“don’t slip!” juyeon called after him

“we’ll see!”

chan entered the bathroom and made sure to lock it behind him before looking in the mirror to find the natural perplexed expression he had been biting back. did they think they were slick? juyeon and changbin may have been able to fly under the radar to their boss, but really, how could they ever deceive someone who knew them as well as chan did?

[restlessmaknae]

back to life

Jinyoung didn’t deserve to be believed, being misunderstood was his punishment for not being able to help his friend when he would have needed it. He felt like he could have a redemption only if he finished school without anyone talking to him, so why... why did you want to see him when he wanted to be invisible?

➳ Characters: high school senior!Jinyoung x female reader/you

➳ Genre: high school au, coming of age, real-life bittersweet

➳ Words: 5.2k

➳ Warning: due to the connection to the CIX story films, there will be mentions of Yonghee's suicide attempt, bullying, violence, minor character death (Seunghun's mother), blood, hospital visits, plus panic attack, insomnia and a lot of guilt, negative self-talk on Jinyoung's part, reader has a non-specified digestive disorder, so please, do not read the story if you feel triggered by such topics!

➳ A/N: This was a story that I came up with even before the Save me, kill me MV and the following story films (ep. 6-10) were released, so there are parts that do not cover the story films, yet this is my general interpretation of its lore, plus additional fictional parts. Hope you enjoy it! ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

Jinyoung knew that he deserved the glares, the stares, the malicious whispers behind his back. If that was what he had to bear for what he had done (or hadn’t done) to Yonghee, then so be it. He could never suffer as much as his friend had done so.

He deserved it, he knew that, he deserved it all.

So he kept his eyes on the ground, avoiding the endless sea of judgemental faces, shut his ears to block out the noise of rumours, and kept his emotions at bay to prevent further bursts of fury to unleash onto someone who didn’t deserve it. After all, if he had just been kinder to Yonghee, if he had just treated him gently instead of using violence, maybe this would have not happened… If… In this world, ifs didn’t amount to anything. They couldn’t bring back the happy memories they shared, they couldn’t turn back time prior to the tragedy, and they couldn’t magically bring Yonghee to consciousness. Despite the fact that the boy was still alive, the heart monitor beside his hospital bed indicating that his heart hadn’t given up, the doctors weren’t that positive regarding his condition.

“He fell from such a high building…”

“He lost so much blood…”

“The fall was rough, he hurt himself badly…”

As if the boy hadn’t struggled enough before, he was still in so much pain, and seeing his body attached to all those wires, oxygen mask on his scarred face, impossibly white sheets covering his injured body, Jinyoung felt even worse. Whenever he visited his friend in the hospital, whenever he looked at Yonghee’s face, he was reminded of their last encounter, and it was enough for him to want to scratch at his skin for it was too unbearable to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

Even though Hyunsuk had tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, Jinyoung didn’t believe him. After all, Yonghee had jumped the day he had pushed him to the shelves, yelling at him, asking if he had been crazy to want to hurt himself over a bad grade. He could never understand the obsession of Yonghee’s parents regarding their son’s good grades, let alone how much it impacted the boy since he himself had never been a good student, nor had he tried to be one.

If he could have just been a bit more empathetic, if he had just opened his eyes to the signs a little earlier…

Jinyoung felt the rush of guilt creeping into his veins, taking over his heart and mind, and he welcomed the feeling almost like a familiar visitor by now. He balled his hands into fists, his nails digging deep into the flesh as he tried to let it wash through him, let it drown him. He wanted nothing more than to drown in this feeling, but reality always brought him back to life - this time, it was you.

“Oh, sorry,” you apologised hastily as you noticed the boy sitting on the floor between two bookshelves, and he looked up, albeit a bit hazily. It was as if you had woken him up from a stupor, he still didn’t feel like his senses were his, his surroundings were real. It was always like this when guilt pulled him under.

He kept quiet, waiting for you to break eye-contact or outright leave this particular section of the school library that he had found to be quiet, so he could hide here while the others were having lunch at the canteen. Not that he had a good appetite these past few weeks, but bearing the watching eyes of others while eating would have been too much, all too much. So just like before, he was a coward, and cowardly chose the easier path - running away.

After transferring schools, somehow rumours followed him, and now everyone here thought that he had killed a student aggressively at his previous school, and he had only managed to avoid juvy because his parents were rich and bribed the jury. While in reality, Yonghee’s case was classified as a suicide attempt for now, and the boy had neither died, nor had Jinyoung been the bully in his case. Not that it mattered when his friend was still lying in bed, still in a coma.

“Do you mind if I join?” You inquired instead of leaving, and confusion brought Jinyoung back to the here and now. Why were you trying to join him when he was a so-called murderer? And why did you bring your lunch box to the library? Did you not eat at the canteen like the others?

He merely looked at you, unfazed, and only spoke up when you didn’t leave.

“Why? Don’t you believe what they say about me?”

“I don’t,” came the answer immediately, and the fast response took the boy aback. “If you had indeed killed someone, and your parents would have bribed the jury, they would probably not want anyone else to know about the bribery, so word wouldn’t have gotten around. Besides, you would probably not be as lifeless as you are now if you had indeed killed someone in cold blood,” you explained thoroughly, your tone almost diplomatic. Ah, now he knew who you were - not by your face but by your voice. You were the top student of the other class, and you went to English classes together. You were always the one who had to give the right answer when no one wanted to speak up.

“Why believe in my innocence when you don’t even know me?” Jinyoung protested, not letting the topic drop. He didn’t deserve to be believed, being misunderstood was his punishment for not being able to help his friend when he would have needed it. He felt like he could have a redemption only if he finished school without anyone talking to him, but instead, looking down on him, and labelling him as a murderer.

So why, why did you want to see him when he wanted to be invisible?

“I know prejudices are scarcely right, and besides… you are in my usual hideout place,” you remarked as you pointed around you. Jinyoung could have believed that the autobiography section of the school library wasn’t that frequently visited, but for you to have it as your usual hideout place meant that you must have frequented it.

Jinyoung found himself unable to say anything to that, and you took that as a sign of approval, so you lowered yourself down and sat on the ground, your back to the shelf opposite of the one Jinyoung leaned towards. You were at a decent distance from each other, but the boy still felt oddly bare given the visibility. It was as if he was afraid that you would get to know how torn and broken he was if you got any closer. Which you didn’t, thankfully.

Instead, you opened your lunch box, and took a bite from your seemingly homemade food. You stared at the books in front of you instead of looking at him, and he was both relieved and frustrated by this. All of this just for you to sit there to eat?

On the other hand, Jinyoung knew that he had no reason to question you. Not you out of all people. So he just let you have your lunch in peace while he was slipping back into his own self-destructive thoughts, glad that they didn’t change. Someone like you might have believed that he was innocent, but Jinyoung knew very well that he wasn’t. If anything, he might have been the worst of them all. Even Seunghun could forgive Yonghee after what had happened to Seunghun’s mother, but why couldn’t Jinyoung move on from that day and wish for his friend to wake up?

Because he knew very well that he would need to face him, and he wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t sure that he would ever be.

Jinyoung should have known that when you meant that the autobiography section in the school library was your hideout place, you meant that you went there frequently, but he didn’t give it too much thought. In fact, he didn’t really give anything too much thought apart from how he should have been there for Yonghee, and how much he wished he could have turned back time to make everything right.

On the other hand, you did come back day after day, and the boy didn’t have the heart to send you away, nor did he find a different hideout place when students were all over the building and the schoolyards during lunch break, so there was nowhere else to hide. Here though, no one bothered you. To be precise, Jinyoung was bothered by your presence at first, but since you didn’t push him for answers, you just greeted him when he showed up or vice versa, and finished your lunch in silence, he couldn’t find a reason to be bothered by you. He merely didn’t understand why you weren’t bothered by him.

“Why don’t you eat with the others?” He found himself asking once, eyes narrowing as his eyes found yours. You blinked a few times at him as if you were surprised that he had actually asked a question from you, and gulped down your food before answering.

“I don’t have any friends, and I don’t want anyone to comment on my food. I have enough of that on school trips,” you sighed out, your voice carrying an all too familiar emotion - bitterness. Raw, deeply personal, and fragile. Bitterness wasn’t a feeling that he had been familiar with before, but now, if one emotion could embody what he was going through, it would be this one big mess of bitterness without seemingly an end in sight.

The boy assumed that you would leave it at that, but you didn’t. He found that he didn’t exactly mind.

“I have gut problems, so I need to bring my own food, but they make fun of it as if I chose to eat this way. You don’t realise how isolating it can be when you can’t eat the food that others eat, but here, no one bothers me,” you added as you looked around the huge, still shelves of books that could indeed not ask stupid questions, let alone judge her for spending her lunch break here. He could understand the sentiment well.

“That’s ridiculous,” he snorted in disbelief, but your lips trembled and sadness moved into your eyes, so he felt the need to add. “That they make fun of you for that, I mean. It’s not your fault,” he justified solemnly, and your shoulders easened as if you had been bearing a weight for so long that had just come off now.

“You’re the first person who says that at school.”

Jinyoung was about to open his mouth, but he couldn’t utter a word. It had never been him who had caught onto someone’s change in their body language or who was said to be the most empathetic. After all, if he had been, Yonghee wouldn’t have laid in a hospital bed… So for you to voice out that he was the first one who took your side, he didn’t even know if he should have protested or shared that it was only natural in his eyes.

He closed his mouth, and looked down at his own intertwined fingers - ones that pushed those away who wanted to keep him close, ones that pushed Yonghee away quite literally when he should have needed help the most. He felt himself going back into his usual spiral of destructive thoughts when your voice pulled him out.

Again.

“Where’s your lunch? Aren’t you eating?”

He was so surprised by the question that his eyebrows elevated and his eyes widened. He was sure that he seemed pretty dumbfounded because you let out a short-lived yet beautiful (thus fragile) giggle, and explained that you figured out that he was here during lunch break because he didn’t want to eat with the others. However, unlike you, he didn’t have food with him.

“I don’t feel like eating.”

“You should. You need the energy to bear all the weight of those malicious rumours,” you pointed out almost gently, giving him a small smile before turning back to your food and proceeding to eat.

You didn’t say a word afterwards, nor did he, but now he wasn’t sure whether his lack of response was because he didn’t find it in himself to tell you that he didn’t care, that he was fine, that he deserved it, that you didn’t know anything, or because he was awestruck by the fact that someone cared. That you cared whether he ate or not, whether he was affected by the malicious rumours or not.

That you cared about him in the first place.

Jinyoung wouldn’t deem it a habit, but you still came back day after day, and he did come back day after day as well, and somehow you fell into this unfamiliar rhythm of silences filled with occasional, more or less vulnerable questions, and his heart was open to answer them. Even when you inquired whether he didn’t want to fix the broken watch around his wrist and he said that it was a friend’s, so he didn’t want to, he didn’t mind telling you, and you didn’t push for more details, so he left it at that.

He didn’t admit though that the watch was Yonghee’s, and that he found it with a torn glass lens on the rooftop of the school - from where Yonghee had jumped from. He had picked it up alongside the boy’s phone, and selfishly kept the watch, so that it could remind him of the only time that mattered - of his friend’s lifespan; so that it could be a compass for him - to show where he was supposed to go; so that it could be a guide for him - to indicate what he was supposed to do, what was the right thing to do. Such as not beating up the bullies at his previous school even though he had wanted to.

You also shared how tough it was to constantly live up to the expectations of your parents, teachers and classmates, and how you were always supposed to give the right answer even if you were an outcast, even if you were ridiculed for your health problems, even if you were never enough. Hearing that, Jinyoung couldn’t help but be reminded of Yonghee (when wasn’t he reminded of his friend, honestly?), but you seemed to be floating above all the criticism well.

When he inquired how you managed, you shared that you worked with a therapist, and the boy was surprised both to hear that and to hear you admit that, yet you confessed that asking for professional help had probably been the best decision of your life. You knew either way that school would be over soon - as you were seniors -, and you hoped university would be different. Besides, you hoped that you would meet people who could understand you like you had found Jinyoung.

The boy was never one to feel touched, but when you confessed that you deemed him someone who could accept you for who you were, he felt immensely moved. He was overcome with this inward urge, this deep want to keep you safe that was just so jarring, he felt like catching his breath while only staying still. Yet, he couldn’t tell whether it was because he didn’t want history to repeat itself or because he genuinely wanted it to stay this way. He was, as always, torn, and he wasn’t sure whether he could get an answer to his turmoil of emotions.

Nevertheless, when you didn’t come to the library for a few days, Jinyoung immediately jumped to worrisome conclusions, and he even went as far as to ask from your homeroom teacher whether you were absent because of an illness or because something had happened to you. The elderly man reassured him that you caught some bug, so you would probably come back a few days later, and unbeknownst to him, he was relieved, lungs working to full capacity again, heart quitting those crazy palpitations he had while worse and worse scenarios were going through his head.

Interestingly so, the next time you met wasn’t even in the library, but at the sports day event where everyone was supposed to participate, at least as spectators, and he found you sitting alone on the bench of the grandstand, so he headed towards you.

You looked up as he approached, and there was a small smile hiding in the corner of your lips as you realised who he was. Upon the sight, he was yet again overcome by that feeling of protectiveness. He knew that just as much as he could make you smile, he could hurt you as well, and he didn’t want that, but he didn’t want to run away either. Not from you. Not from someone who didn’t push him for questions, who didn’t care that he didn’t talk a lot about his past, who didn’t care that odd rumours were spread about him.

Besides, his internal turmoil in the past few days prompted him to appreciate the time you two could spend together, and so he wanted to keep these times within an arm reach, he didn’t want them to slip through his fingers, to crush and burn, and be just a faded, bitter memory in the future of what ifs and could haves.

So he took the first step towards you, and then the next, and before he knew it, he was sitting beside you, both of you watching the currently playing students on the field.

“You didn’t come in the past few days,” he pointed out matter-of-factly while still keeping his eyes on the football match. He saw from the corner of his eyes that your shoulders tensed a bit, and you audibly took in a deep breath before answering.

“Yeah, well… I wasn’t really feeling well. The meds that I’m taking for my gut suppress not only the harmful stuff but the beneficial bacteria, so I’m more susceptible to illnesses. It’s not the first time it happened either,” you concluded a bit bitterly, and he could hear the hurt in your voice. Though you tried to mask it, though he had not always been good at picking up on the signs, he could tell that your condition bothered you - the fact that you were tending to one illness while leading the way for others.

“Are you feeling better now?” Jinyoung inquired genuinely after clearing his throat, and looked at you just in time for you to look at him. As your gazes connected, something inside of him burst, and it flew through him in waves of warm, comforting reassurance. Just the fact that you were beside him, seemingly safe and sound, lifted such a heavy weight off his shoulders, he felt like he could breathe again.

At least for the lifespan of this conversation.

“Yeah, I think so. Don’t worry.”

“I didn’t,” the boy tried to protest immediately, but you narrowed your eyes as if you were trying to decide whether to question his words or not. In the end, you did speak up.

“The homeroom teacher told me that you asked about me. He thought I was tutoring you or something like that, and that’s why you asked about me,” you replied without batting an eye, however, Jinyoung couldn’t bear to look at you anymore. Instead, he looked away, finding the currently running boys on the field much more interesting.

The truth is, the boy didn’t know why he was embarrassed about the situation. Worrying about someone after what had happened to Yonghee was still an unfamiliar feeling to him. He didn’t even know he was concerned about you until you didn’t show up at the library, but if there was one thing he had learned from the past few months behind him, it was that he couldn’t take anything for granted. Or anyone, for that matter.

“Anyways, do you want to exchange contacts? At least, I can tell you next time if something like this happens,” you suggested warily, breaking the silence that fell upon the two of you. Jinyoung slowly shifted his eyes from the field to you, but you were looking down at your intertwined fingers, your phone resting under your hands.

“Sure,” he found himself saying even though he wasn’t sure that it was him speaking. Even you were a tad bit surprised that he had given it so quickly, but either way, you exchanged contacts before you were called for a jogging race and needed to leave him behind.

Nevertheless, as you were walking down the stairs, you halted and looked back over your shoulder, directing a gentle smile in the boy’s direction. Whenever he saw you smile like that, the only thought that he had was for how long you could smile like that before he would paint it with agony and hurt, before he would ruin your blossom of affection, before he would break the heart you held out to him.

“Thank you. For worrying about me.”

Your voice broke through the overwhelming mass of his own destruction that was ready to bring him down anytime, and suddenly, in that moment, his heart whispered something else: maybe your smile was one for change, one for hope.

Jinyoung knew that they all blamed themselves for what had happened to Yonghee, and they had all changed since their friend had tried to commit suicide. Byounggon, for one, had dropped out of school altogether after he had realised that he had no power as someone who lived alone on a rooftop, abandoned by his parents, struggling to make ends meet with school and his part-time job. He had started working full-time instead. Seunghun, who had aspired to become a dancer before, had given up on dancing after he had not been able to go back to the practice room because it always reminded him of how his mother had died. He was completely lost for now. Hyunsuk, who had always tried to do well at school - to gain his parents’ love and his father’s attention who lived far away since his parents’ divorce - had started dropping in rank, even going as far as attempting to steal because he could no longer tolerate who he was, and how the supposed-to-be perfect Yoon Hyunsuk had not been able to help his friend because he had been blinded by his own suffering.

And Jinyoung, well… He had changed schools, but his guilt followed him everywhere. His parents said that they didn’t even recognise him anymore, but Jinyoung couldn’t either. Whenever he looked into the mirror, he saw his friend’s face as he had grabbed Yonghee by the collar and pushed him to the shelves, and he wished he could break the mirror, punch the glass until his knuckles bled, scream at the top of his lungs until he became speechless. The truth is, he felt like a part of him had died on the day Yonghee had jumped from the rooftop. Living was painful, but sleeping wasn’t peaceful either. He was constantly tormented by nightmares, and not even the sleeping pills could help - they helped with actually going to sleep, but not with chasing away his nightmares.

He wasn’t one to believe in miracles because he had tasted the bitterness of life, but you, you seemed to shine some light in the darkness. A kind of light that warmed him but also scared him at the same time. What if you were suffering in silence, and he wasn’t able to help? Again. What if he was to hurt you, either literally or figuratively? Again. What if he couldn’t take care of you? Again. The thought of anything happening to you made his already agonising days even more frightening. Staying away from you seemed as much of a bad idea as getting closer to you. He was truly lost in his sea of emotions, he felt like drowning.

And just when he thought that he was doing better, he realised that the hardest part was still left: letting go of the guilt when his friend’s state was still uncertain. However, if you hadn’t told him to think from Yonghee’s point of view, he would have never realised that Yonghee would want him to be happy. Yet, he had a panic attack once when you were in the library and he got a message from Seunghun saying that Yonghee’s heart had stopped for a while, but they had managed to resuscitate him. Afterwards, words just spilled out from him, and it was like an avalanche: sweeping everything up into the air, raging through slopes and destroying anything that got in its way.

Jinyoung told you that he blamed himself for everything, and that he was the reason his friend had still not woken up, and you let him speak until his mouth ran dry, until his words bled together, until his heart was finally brought out from the shadows, put in front of you to hold and decide whether to break it or tend to it.

You seemed to decide on the latter.

“It’s hard to say for sure at times like this, but usually, a decision like this is more about a handful of different things coming together at the wrong time, and consequences seeming daunting. Your friend might have also wanted things to be different,” you mentioned tentatively after you had let him tell you whatever he wanted. He figured that you had a feeling that if you interrupted him, you would hold him back from sharing the whole story, and he was sure that it could have gone down that way because he wasn’t one to talk about his emotions, especially not the ones regarding Yonghee.

“I don’t know…”

“He might have been happy while you had been together. It might have given him strength to hold out for so long. Something in him still wants to fight,” you reasoned gently, your words rolling off like drops of rain on a tranquil night just between fall and winter.

These were just words, mere syllables put together, but Jinyoung was struck, he felt his heart clench, his mind flooded with the memories they had made in the movie club, flashbacks of Yonghee smiling, the twinkling eyes of the boy, the childish giggle of his… and in that moment, Jinyoung realised that his mind was clouded by all the pain of the past few months, and he couldn’t see the joy, the care, the happiness before… It was as if everything else had been erased from his life apart from his wrongdoings and the events that followed Yonghee’s fall.

And in that moment, he found himself collapsing like pillars of a building that gave in to the massive weight on top of them, and cries broke out of him. Ugly, raw, heart-wrenching sobs that you didn’t try to muffle, you didn’t try to calm down, you merely let him like it all out.

And for that, he would always be thankful because he felt like he had been holding out for so long, he had tried to keep it all together before because he couldn’t crumble, he couldn’t cause more pain to others around him, but maybe it wasn’t about being a burden to others, it was about being human.

After so long without being in the same room together that was not the hospital ward, the four boys got together to read Yonghee’s letter, back at the music club of their old school. To be precise, Jinyoung and Byounggon’s old school. And you were right, Yonghee confessed in his letter that the only happy times he had were the ones he had with the four of them. Damn it, you were right.

No wonder tears were shed, words were exchanged, and after watching the movie they had worked on together, Jinyoung felt like something mended. It was as if with Yonghee’s fall, they had all fallen apart like broken pieces of a vase because there wasn’t a glue anymore that held them together - there wasn’t Yonghee there to keep them together. Yet, now they were together like this again. For a while after what felt like eternity, they were themselves again. It felt like maybe they forgave themselves. Not entirely but maybe forgiveness wasn’t as far as they had thought so.

And coincidentally, the next morning when Jinyoung was at school, zoning out during Maths class, he received a message in the groupchat that Yonghee had woken up. He didn’t think twice, he disregarded the exclaims of the teacher, the stares of his classmates and ran through corridors, streets, hallways, hopped on and off buses until his legs could give in and fall to the ground beside Yonghee’s bed.

Byounggon was already there, but through the waterfall of his tears, Jinyoung couldn’t see what state the boy was in, he could only see Yonghee's face breaking free from the stern lines - the ones that made him resemble a statue for so long - and his eyes - wide and bright as usually - focusing on him.

“Jinyoung…” He muttered quietly, and his voice - the one he could only listen to in videos on his phone before - seemed both familiar and brand new. He couldn’t believe his ears. His friend had not only woken up, but he also remembered him. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he added, voice raspy and words a bit uncertain, but the message was there, and if Jinyoung could fall even deeper, he would have.

“Thank you…. Thank you so… much… for coming back,” Jinyoung cried out, interrupted by his jarring sobs. Yonghee’s lips curled upwards slowly, and Jinyoung found himself smiling with him through his tears. Gosh, just how easy it was to smile again.

He didn’t know what he would have done if Yonghee’s heart had given up for good, but now, he knew that he wouldn’t take anything for granted again. Not his friend’s silent plea for help, not his parents’ support towards him, not his friends’ care, not the smiles and laughs and jokes, not the silly little nothings and the “I’ve told you so” sentences, and not you as well, not the chances he had been given to feel alive again, not the friends he had mended his relationship with again, and not the bond you two had created. He would cherish all of it as much as he could, and make sure that he would voice it out. Because he now knew that life was so precious, and despite it being hard on the living, it might have been more difficult on those who had left or chosen to leave.

Something within him gave in, and he felt like his lungs were working on full capacity, but not because he couldn’t breathe - but because he was ready to welcome more air, more life. He was coming back to life bit by bit.

A/N:  If you or someone is in need, don't hesitate to reach out for help! A list of worlwide helplines can be found here.

We are never alone.

I want to clarify that I believe one could be a support to a person struggling, but it's still the person in question who has to find the will in themselves to keep going. So I purposefully didn't make it into a romance-focused story where the reader "saves" Jinyoung because Jinyoung needed to forgive himself and "save" himself, but the way the reader supported him, showed him a different way of life and put things into a different perspective helped him tremendously to deal with everything that he was going through. They both helped each other, to be precise.

In my story, I wanted Yonghee to wake up from the start, but only after the boys forgive themselves, yet in the story films, I think there might be a different ending regarding Yonghee's condition. However, we can see the boys slowly coming together and moving on in their own way, and I wanted to showcase that same kind of hopefulness by the end of the story.

I'm super proud of CIX for having such a storyline, for taking it so seriously and for showcasing all the different ways a person can deal with such things and find some salvation. Super proud of them for their acting, too!

As for my story, I know it might not be able to do the storyline justice, but I hope it could spark something in your nevertheless. Thank you so so so much for reading it!❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

[lillotus17]

Kingdom 2

So i know the line up for 'Road to Kingdom 2' is out although im not 100% sure it's confirmed(?)... for those who don't know the lineup is: Cravity, Xikers, ATBO, THE NEW SIX, YOUNITE, and 8TURN... i heard rumours and mentions of tempest but im not too sure. I also know that there are fans that are against road to kingdoms for a multitude of reasons that are definitely valid but as a multistan I can't help but be a little excited for the awesome performances and idol interactions we're gonna get!

anyways, I knos that the show hasn't even aired yet and I'm getting ahead of myself but here's a list of groups I think will be in Kingdom 2 and why! Mostly 4th and 5th gen groups listed! BUt lmk what yall think too!

ZEROBASEONE

For starters Kep1er was on queendom 2. They started off with a strong debut so I definitely see why they would. I don't really have too many reasons for them it just makes sense...? Only downside is that they have to go through another survival show...

2. TREASURE

Honestly for a YG group, treasure is pretty underrated. I think they'd have doubts about participating on Kingdom 2 because tbh it didn't really go well for iKon but I think the leaders of treasure would push an encourage the members to do it. Especially since YG is ass at promoting and they haven't had a comeback in 9 months. I think they'll definitely have a comeback before kingdom and during kingdom. And although they are underrated they are still well-established. Also victims of a survival show...

3. BOYNEXTDOOR

BND is possibility. I feel like because they're under hybe people don't see the need for them to participate but I also feel like they'd want to try something different or challenging since they are still a pretty new group.

4. P1HARMONY

with my whole heart and soul they'd fuck. the. stage. up. I feel as though this is also a very well established group but kingdom would give them an opportunity to better express their creative idol outlet. I think they'd also be hesitant since SF9 participated but they'd also like to try something new/different!

5. NCT WISH

also a maybe group. they are newer so I'd see why they'd participate but they are under SM so i'd feel their fanbase would be bigger but because they are a japanese centered group it would give them an opportunity to promote more in korea. I also feel like they'd do it to prove something - becasue they're new but they also want to show off they're own talents within NCT. PT3 OF VICTIMS OF SURVIVAL SHOWS...

6. &TEAM

Another victim of a survival shows.... also another maybe group. I also think they'd use this as an opportunity to promote more in korea, also try something new and challenging. I think it would also pave way for them to express their artist creativity. I say maybe because they are under hybe but i guess that's probably besides the point?

7. CIX

TBH IDEK i just feel like they would? I am more of a casual CIX listener. Seeing as they are a, imo, well known group I think they'd also do it for the opportunities. They are really talented. I started listening to them bc of jinyoung (wannable) but after watching YGTB i started to get into them more bc of seunghun and bx too... they're also three victims of survival shows... ATP i guess i have a type...

7. AB6IX

ehh tbh idek either... i guess similar to CIX since they are a 4th gen group too. Daehwi and Woojin... more victims...

8. RIIZE

HUGE EMPHASIS ON THE MAYBE. Only really put them down because they're 5th gen. with them I also see it as a creative outlet opportunity and something to prove. like yes we do have talent and our success is not bc of the company we're signed under.

9. TEMPEST

if they aren't on RTK2 then I feel like they'd be on kingdom 2.

10. TWS

cause they're also new? also an opportunity for a comeback.

TBVH i did think of groups that most definitely would not participate but that's due to a number of reasons and in all honestly I'm terrified of fandom wars breaking out.

LMK WHAT YALL THINK! YUHHH!

[itzynabi]

comeback

summary: in which eve doesn’t have a choice

set: 2 june 2023

warnings: panic attack and tears. angst central im so sorry 😭😭

word count: 2.9k

an: this is a little bit of an insight into eve’s life at jyp. i dont know jyp in real life so dont go thinking hes this horrible. he might be a really nice guy. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💐

eve’s masterlist

“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” Jinyoung said.

Eve nodded. “I figured.”

The two were in Jinyoung’s office, Eve standing in front of her producer’s desk. Jinyoung was seated in his chair, leaning against the back of it.

He gestured to the chair in front of her. “Don’t you want to sit down?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

Jinyoung watched her for a few beats. “I noticed that the streams for diary entries have been going up,” he noted.

“Yeah. MIDZY told me that they’re doing a streaming project this week for diary entries’ first anniversary.”

“They’re very motivated fans,” he complimented. “They always support you.”

Eve sighed, rubbing her temples. “Is there a reason I’m here? I have a dance practice to get to.”

“I see you’re still angry with me,” Jinyoung said, ignoring Eve. “You should get over it.”

“No, thank you,” Eve refused. “Just tell me whatever it is you want to sa–”

“Do you want to have a comeback?” Jinyoung interrupted.

Eve tilted her head. “What do you mean? We’re preparing for it right now.”

Jinyoung shook his head. “No, no, no. Do you want to have a comeback?”

Eve was silent as she slowly understood what he was saying. “A solo comeback?” She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m supposed to be focusing on ITZY,” she answered plainly. “That’s why I stopped MCing and that’s why I couldn’t do the drama. Besides, shouldn’t the members at least make their debut before I have a comeback?”

Jinyoung shook his head, leaning forward to place his forearms on his desk. “That’s not how this works.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

Eve sighed, putting her hands in her sweatpants pockets. “I don’t want a comeback,” she declared. “Not until the members have their debuts.”

“I think you should think about this more,” Jinyoung said. “Sleep on it and come to a de–”

“I don’t want to do it, Jinyoung! That’s my final answer.”

She stormed out of the room, ignoring Jinyoung’s shouts for her to come back.

Eve was on her way to the JYP building after talking to someone about using their building for one of her upcoming That’s So Evie episodes. She was in the backseat with Ari in the passenger seat and Jun, her driver, in the driver’s seat.

“Eve, I didn’t know you were having a comeback,” Jun said as he drove onto a bridge.

Eve looked up from the book she was reading. “What do you mean?”

“When you were talking with the building owner, the head of the concept team was joking saying I must forget about going on holiday because you’re going to be promoting,” Jun told Eve.

Eve looked at Ari, who was scrolling through her phone. Ari nodded slowly as she read a message. “Yeah, it’s true. You’re having a comeback, Eve.”

Eve ruffled around in her tote bag for her phone, immediately going to her chats when she found it.

that guy [18:23] It’s official. You’re having a comeback.

that guy [18:23] We’ll talk more about it when you get back to the company.

She read and reread those two messages, feeling rage fill her chest. Eve could feel Ari and Jun’s eyes on her, but ignored them as she shoved her earphones into her ears, blasting her music on the highest volume and closing her eyes.

Eve stayed like that until they reached the front of the company building. She didn’t wait for the car to come to a complete stop before she stormed out, ignoring Jun shouting in shock and leaving all her belongings. She walked quickly to Jinyoung’s office, only stopping to greet the people she passed on her way. Ignoring Jinyoung’s secretary’s instructions to wait outside, Eve pushed his door open, his secretary following her inside the room.

“What is your problem?” She asked him, watching as he closed his laptop and pushed it to the side of his desk. “I told you I didn’t want a comeback.”

“I decided to give you one,” Jinyoung said. He dismissed his secretary with a wave of his hand, waiting for her to leave and close the door behind her. “I don’t understand why you’re being so emotional.”

“Because it’s unfair! The other members would love to have this kind of opportunity, so why not give it to them? I mean, what happened in the past three days that made you just ignore what I said. I don’t want this!”

Jinyoung studied Eve. “Yes, you do. You want to be a singer and singers sing. This is what you signed up for.”

Eve’s hands shook with anger as she took a deep breath to calm herself down. “You very clearly don’t know what I want. All I want is for you to treat us equally and give us the same opportunities — something you seem to be incapable of doing. Please, can you not give me a comeback,” she pleaded.

Jinyoung was silent for a few seconds. He sat up in his chair, opening his laptop. “It’s going to be in September or October,” he told her.

“Oh my god,” Eve said softly, hanging her head. She looked up at him again, feeling defeated. “What’s the concept?” She asked.

“We’ll discuss that later. You can come up with your own ideas, or bring any songs you’ve worked on and we’ll decide from that.”

Eve nodded. “Can I leave now?”

Jinyoung smiled at her. “Yes, you can.”

Eve turned around, walking out of the room. When she left, she saw Ari leaning against the wall, waiting for her with two bags slung over her shoulder. Eve tipped her head at the hallway, silently telling Ari they could leave. They walked silently to the parking lot, Ari’s hand on Eve’s back the entire time.

Getting in the car, Eve slammed her door shut. She put her head on the dashboard of the car, resting it on her arm. Ari sat in silence with Eve, waiting for the younger girl to say something.

Blood pounded in Eve’s ears. Her heart thudded in her chest. Her hands shook. She inhaled shakily, trying to get air into her body. She repeated that two more times, drawing Ari’s attention.

“Eve?” Ari called out.

Eve brought her hands to her chest, clinging onto her shirt.

“Eve, what’s wrong? Look at me, please,” Ari requested.

Eve slowly lifted her head as she began hyperventilating, tears streaming down her face. Ari realised what was wrong, reaching to hold Eve’s unoccupied hand.

“Hey, copy me.” Ari began to take deep breaths. “That’s good. You’re doing great,” she complimented when Eve copied her. They kept doing that until Eve had slightly calmed down.

“Evie,” Ari began in a soft voice, “can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“They’re–” Eve paused to take a deep breath. “They’re gonna hate me.”

“Who’s gonna hate you? The fans? They’d never hate y–”

“The members,” Eve interrupted. “I’m alw– I’m always doing more stuff than them. They’re gonna hate me.”

Ari shook her head. “Remember what Dr. Park said? Your members don’t think of you like that, it’s just your brain feeding you lies, okay? Your members would never — could never — hate you. What have the members said about your solo schedules?”

Eve nodded slowly as she regulated her breathing. “That they’re not angry at me,” she said.

“And?” Ari prompted.

“That they understand some of them aren’t my choice. And they know I’d rather we all do solo schedules.”

“Yes. They said all that,” Ari said, wiping away Eve’s tears. “They’re not going to hate you,” she whispered one more time for good measure. “You don’t have to worry about that. Ever.”

Eve nodded. The two women sat in the car until Eve had properly calmed down. Ari passed her a granola bar to snack on.

“It’s all going to be okay,” Ari comforted once more as she shot Kibum a text to let him know that Eve might call him that night. She put her phone down on her lap, placing her hand on the steering wheel. “You okay to go home?”

Eve nodded. “Yeah. We can go.”

She put on her seat belt as Ari started the car and passed her her bag. Throughout the drive, Eve stared out the window, watching the buildings pass by in a blur. She was acutely aware of Ari sneaking glances at her every so often.

When they arrived at the apartment underground parking, Eve unbuckled her seat belt. She put her hand on the door handle.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Eve told Ari, voice soft.

Ari nodded, putting her hand on Eve’s thigh. “Call me if you don’t feel okay?”

Eve nodded. “Okay. I should also apologise to Jun oppa. Jumping out the car was not wise of me.”

“Don’t worry about him for now. Just take care of yourself tonight,” Ari instructed. “Are you going to tell the members about your comeback?”

Eve sighed. “Yeah.” She opened the door. “Might as well just get it over and done with.” She hopped out of the car, closing it and stepping back. “Bye, unnie.” She waved at Ari.

“Bye, Eve.”

Eve turned to walk into the building, not waiting for Ari to drive away because she knew her manager liked to see Eve enter the building before leaving. She pressed the button for the elevator, waiting for it to arrive before stepping in. After pressing her floor number, she slumped against the back of the elevator. Just as the doors shut, Eve felt a fresh wave of tears fill her eyes.

“What the hell?” She muttered, raising her hand to wipe away her tears. She used her jacket sleeve as tissue, trying her best to rid herself of her tears. Her shoulders shook as she cried, only slowing down as she got closer and closer to her floor.

By the time Eve got off the elevator, her tears had slowed again, with only two drops leaving her eyes every few seconds. She walked to her apartment door, taking a deep breath and wiping her face one last time before entering the code for the door.

Eve walked into the apartment, dragging her feet against the floor. She took off her sneakers and replaced them with slippers, holding the former pair of shoes in her hand.

“Unnie, is that you?” Yeji asked from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she answered. Eve walked to the living room. She stood to the side of the couch for a few seconds before dropping everything that was in her hands and plopping herself forward onto the piece of furniture.

Ryujin and Lia came out of the latter girl’s room, laughing about something. Chaeryeong walked up to Eve, tapping her shoulder.

“Unnie, taste this filling,” Chaeryeong requested, holding the filling of a dumpling in her hand. “Yeji unnie said it tastes weird, but I think it tastes fine,” she explained. She waited a few seconds for Eve to raise her head, looking at Ryujin when she didn’t.

“Unnie?” Ryujin called out.

Eve groaned into the pillow in response, shrugging her shoulders as Chaeryeong tapped her again. She pushed herself off of the pillow, raising her head to look at Chaeryeong.

“What’s in the filling?” Eve asked.

Chaeryeong gasped, seeing the blotchiness on Eve’s face. “Unnie, what happened?” She quickly looked at Ryujin and Lia.

“We’ll worry about that later,” Eve waved her off, “I need to taste your food so we can eat dinner.” Chaeryeong struggled for words for a few seconds before giving Eve the food to taste. “It needs more salt and a little lemon juice,” she decided after swallowing.

“Okay, now we know that,” Lia said, sitting down next to Eve, “what’s wrong?”

“Where’s Yuna?” Eve asked.

“Fetching something from the other dorm,” Ryujin answered.

“Yeji unnie!” Chaeryeong shouted. “Come here!”

“Okay!” Yeji responded. She turned the stove to low heat before leaving the kitchen. “What’s up?” She asked in a cute voice, her demeanour changing when she saw Eve. “Unnie, what’s wrong?”

Eve gasped. “Do I look that bad? I feel like I don’t.”

“You look horrible,” Ryujin said in a soft tone.

“Thank you for your honesty.” Eve sniffled. “I need to blow my nose.”

Chaeryeong rushed to Yeji’s room, coming back with a box of tissues. She gave them to Lia, who handed Eve one. At that moment, Yuna came into the dorm.

“It took forever for me to find the potatoes,” she said as she entered the dorm. “It was hidden behind so many things in– What’s going on?” She asked, taking note of how her members were crowded around Eve with worried expressions on their faces.

“I’m having a comeback,” Eve announced now that Yuna was there. “Fun times, fun times.”

“A solo comeback?” Yeji asked.

Eve nodded. “Yeah, I, uh… I just got told today, so there’s that.”

“Okay, but why are you crying?” Ryujin asked, voice still soft, as she wiped away fresh tears that had begun to fall out of Eve’s eyes.

“Again?” Eve groaned. “I hate being emotional. Is my period coming?”

Yuna sat down next to Yeji in front of Eve. “You’re having a comeback?”

Eve sighed. “Yeah. He asked me a few days ago if I wanted one, and I said ‘No’ and I guess he didn’t care because I am having one.”

Yuna leant forward, wrapping her arms around Eve’s torso, the other members following suit and hugging her.

“How are you feeling?” Chaeryeong asked once they pulled apart, now sitting next to Ryujin.

Eve looked down at her lap, playing with her fingers.“Lost,” she answered. “I had a panic attack in the car, I broke down in the elevator and I started crying again now, which confuses me,” she said, a questioning expression on her face. “I’m also feeling… guilty,” she hesitantly admitted, knowing what her members were going to tell her.

“Why do you feel guilty?” Yeji asked, placing her hand in Eve’s lap to take hold of one of her hands. “We can all see that you don’t want this.”

She sniffled. “Yeah, but I still got it. And you guys didn’t.”

“We’ll have debuts when we have debuts,” Lia said. “You shouldn’t worry about that.”

“Worrying is all I do. It’s my default setting.”

“Did PD-nim not give you a choice?” Ryujin asked.

Eve shook her head. “I begged him not to give me a comeback and I got told that it’s happening in September or October. He doesn’t care about what I want.”

“I’m sorry, unnie.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s none of your guys’ faults.” She sighed. “It’s just… it’s just life, I guess.”

“It shouldn’t be like this, though,” Yuna said.

Eve shook her head. Inhaling deeply, she looked at her members. “Anyways, that’s my news. Um, don’t expect tears from me for the next… for the rest of the year, actually. I’m gonna go take a shower,” she said, standing up. “Being a businesswoman and getting venues is hard work.” She picked up her bag and went to her room. After collecting everything she needed, she went to the bathroom.

The members looked at the door until they heard the water start. Chaeryeong flopped against the couch as Yeji stood up.

“What are we going to do?” Lia asked. “She can’t keep being treated like this.”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Yeji said, shaking her head as she put her hands on her hips. “We’ve tried before and unnie still had busy schedules.”

Yuna continued looking at the bathroom door with a pout on her face. “This must be hard for unnie,” she commented sadly.

Ryujin clapped her hands. “She doesn’t want us to be sad,” she said. “She’d hate it if we were sad, so let’s just pretend we’re okay and then tomorrow we can try talk to PD-nim. Maybe this time he’ll listen.”

Lia nodded, feeling her heart break for her member. “She can’t have a comeback. She’ll overwork herself. Remember what happened last year?” She asked, referring to when Eve fainted.

“Let’s do Ryujinie’s plan then,” Chaeryeong said. “You know Eve unnie hates it when we’re upset, so let’s try be normal for tonight. It’s one of our day’s off, after all.”

Yeji nodded, biting her lip. “Let’s do it. For unnie’s sake.”

The members dispersed around the apartment: Yeji and Chaeryeong going back to the kitchen, Lia going to set the table and Ryujin and Yuna being assistant chefs. Eve exited the bathroom, going to her room to change before going to the kitchen.

“What are you making?” She asked, peeking over Yeji’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry,” Ryujin answered. “Go chillax, we got this.”

“I don’t trust your culinary skills enough to leave you unsupervised in the kitchen.”

Yeji nodded. “That’s fair.”

The members noted how Eve had seemingly gotten over her sadness, behaving just as she normally would.

“Unnie, are you okay, though?” Yuna asked, stopping cutting carrots.

Eve went to her youngest member, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “I will be,” she answered. “Don’t worry.” She squeezed Yuna. Yuna nodded, placing a kiss on Eve’s cheek.

With that confirmation, everyone slowly began to act normally again. When they were done cooking and were seated at the table to cook, conversation flew seamlessly. Eve told them about the episode of That’s So Evie she was going to film and Chaeryeong told them about how Chaeyeon kept introducing her to people because she “didn’t have friends.” When they were done eating, Eve volunteered to do the dishes, with Lia helping.

“I’m gonna go retire to my room for the night,” Eve said once they were done. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, unnie,” Yeji said, the others echoing her.

tagging: @seolboba // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea // @smh-anon // @alixnsuperstxr // @cosmicwintr // @girlzwfun // @txt-yaomi

©️ kim nabi

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – hideaway

it's been a surprisingly good day.

of course, joomi had hopes that it would be good when he, sooyoung and jinyoung decided to take this sunday to go to the waterbomb festival and dragged ren along with them. it's just been a bit of a tumultuous couple of weeks.

thankfully, today he feels good, even though jinyoung has officially been a lime trainee for a few days now. joomi reacted badly to him wanting to leave at first, but it hasn't been as big of an adjustment as he expected. jinyoung pointed out, in their many discussions of the subject, that it would probably be better for them to not be together all the time, and joomi agrees with that now.

of course the worst part of it for joomi was always how little they'd be together eventually thanks to jinyoung's decision, but...they're together now, and that's what matters most.

they're together and the weather is beautiful and the music is good and he is soaking wet from all the waterguns and hoses that make waterbomb live up to its name. jinyoung is both soaking wet and beautiful, too - damp hair stuck to his face, water droplets dripping from his jawline every now and then. joomi wants to brush his hair out of his face, or kiss his cheek, or - worse than that, but he knows it's better not to do any of it. he tries not to think about the fact that this is what the majority of their remaining future will be like.

maybe he stares at him for too long, but jinyoung is watching the passing people ahead of them, and joomi just loves looking at him. besides, he thinks looking at jinyoung is one of his responsibilities now, as jinyoung's...whatever he is. something.

they've found a spot to sit in the back, far away from the majority of the crowd, but close enough that they can still hear the music well, with the smallest sliver of shade. sooyoung somehow managed to convince ren to get closer to the stage with her for a group she really wanted to see, leaving them behind for now.

he honestly likes this better. he moves just enough to let his head flop on jinyoung's shoulder, deciding this much is innocent enough to be acceptable public behavior. "this is really weird but i actually feel cold," he comments with a laugh. "i feel like...wet laundry sitting at the bottom of a washing machine."

–– @bejinyoung

[monfixity]

Guardian - Yoon Hyunsuk

Summary: You were about to go on a trip with CIX because you were close friends with Yonghee. You barely had any friends, so Yonghee made sure to bring you along on trips and no one ever minded. You just never knew that this trip would be so eventful.

It was a sunny day and your trip to Jeju Island with CIX would soon start. You were a friend of Yonghee and always spent time with them because beside them you had barely any friends. People around you didn’t like you because you were a nerd just like Yonghee. You loved solving math problems, and you knew random things about science. Not everyone liked that. Only Yonghee was by your side during school times. And now he would still take you along with him on trips with CIX.

So here you were standing outside their apartment building waiting for Seunghun to come downstairs. Jinyoung and Byounggon were already on the way to get some food at the convenience store a few miles away. You would join them in your car after Seunghun arrived. You were waiting with Hyunsuk and Yonghee in front of the car, playing on your phone. Yonghee and Hyunsuk were talking about some ideas for the trip regarding sightseeing. You were just half listening because whatever they planned you would join them. After all, no trip had ever been a disappointment. You were not so good at planning trips because you always wanted to see as much as possible but then got easily overwhelmed by all the options that were there. So, you were glad you had them to plan trips for you to come along with.

As you were waiting for Seunghun you suddenly saw in the corner of your eyes how Hyunsuk jumped forward and pulled you away from the street and closer to him. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him which made you collide with his chest. Yonghee was also alerted and when you looked up you saw Hyunsuk looking to the side. You followed his eyes and saw a car crashing into a building. Passing the spot, you were standing in a few seconds ago.

Hyunsuk just saved you from a terrible accident, that you would have probably not survived. Yonghee walked over to you. “Are you alright?” he looked shocked, and you nodded to ease his mind. He then took out his phone to probably call an ambulance and the police.

You looked at Hyunsuk who was already looking at you, removing his hand from your wrist. “Sorry, I had to grab you tightly.” Hyunsuk apologised but you shook your head. “It’s alright. You literally saved my life. If I’d still stood ther-“

Hyunsuk put his hand on your lips to interrupt you. “Don’t even dare to speak it out.”

You looked deeply into his eyes, and you didn’t know what to say. Hyunsuk looked away first and then turned to Yonghee who was smirking. You were not sure if he was smirking at you, for having a visible crush on Hyunsuk, or was he perhaps smirking at Hyunsuk. You couldn’t tell.

After a moment, Seunghun came downstairs and noticed the atmosphere. “Did I miss something?” he looked around and saw the car in the building. His eyes widened. “When did that happen?”

“A few moments ago, I almost got hit. But Hyunsuk saved me.” You explained.

Now it was Seunghun who smirked, which was weird because he could not know about your crush. Yonghee did because you told him. But Seunghun? You were not so close to him that you would tell him about that, even though you probably could do that and he would not tell anyone. But then you saw Hyunsuk glare at Seunghun who started to laugh. Could it be possible that you were not the only one who had a crush? Could it be that Hyunsuk also had feelings for you? Impossible.

“Can we leave?” you interrupted to not only change the topic but also the atmosphere.

Yonghee nodded and opened the door for you, and you sat down in the back seat. Seunghun sat down in the front seat, again grinning at Hyunsuk. Yonghee sat in the driver's seat, leaving Hyunsuk sitting in the backseat with you. You were not sure why you were suddenly nervous about it. It was not the first time you were sitting next to Hyunsuk. Perhaps it was the possibility that he had a crush on you, just like you had on him. Did that make you nervous?

You were opening your bag to look for your earphones, but you couldn’t find it. You must have sighed loudly as Yonghee asked if you were alright. “I must have forgotten my earphones. Now I can’t listen to music.” You groaned. It was something you loved the most about long trips. Watching the landscape pass by while listening to music. Watching the people outside the window live their lives, jumping around, dancing around or just sitting in their garden. And now you could not do that.

At least that was what you thought. You saw earphones being held in front of you. You looked up to see Hyunsuk offering his. “I don’t need mine right now. You can have them. I know you love to listen to music on long trips.” He smiled lightly.

You smiled. “Thank you.” You took them and took out your phone and started to play the music. This time to not only watch the world outside pass by but also to calm down your nerves and your beating heart.

At the next traffic light, you saw a familiar car next to you. You waved as you saw Jinyoung and Byounggon. They waved back and laughed. Jinyoung then called you. “Jinyoung, you’re interrupting my music.” You said, making everyone in the car laugh.

“I can sing to make it up to you.” He stuck out his tongue at you and you snorted. “I just wanted to let you know I have your favourite drinks. Shall I give it to you at the next gas station?” he held up the drink.

You smiled. “Yes, we will stop at the next gas station.” Jinyoung nodded and then your cars started again. You ended the phone call with Jinyoung and turned to Yonghee. “Jinyoung has a drink for me, can we stop at the next gas station for a second?” you asked.

“Of course, no problem.”

At the gas station, only you left the car to go to Jinyoung who was parking behind your car. He pulled down the window and held out the drink. “You’re an angel.” You said, taking a sip from the drink. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He gave you a pillow and you grinned. “I feel like a princess, today.” Jinyoung and Byounggon laughed. “Let’s go to Jeju Island, shall we, princess.” Byounggon jokingly added the nickname. “Be happy you are sitting away from me, or I would have hit you.” You said before leaving and returning to your car.

When you sat back into the atmosphere had completely changed. It was suddenly so thick, and no one was looking at each other. You were looking between the men, as Yonghee continued to the road. “What happened? I was gone for literally 2 minutes.”

But no one said, anything. “Alright…” you turned on your music again, and looked out the window, trying not to think about the bad atmosphere.

The whole car ride to Jeju Island, they stayed quiet, and no one said anything. You silently gave Hyunsuk your earphones. “Thank you again.” You smiled lightly, leaving the car. You walked over to Jinyoung. He looked at you. “Are you alright?”

“They are acting weird. Ever since the gas station, they haven’t talked with each other. Not even to me.” You looked back at the three who were taking out their suitcase from the truck. Yonghee and Seunghun walk to the hotel, talking with each other again. “I have to get my suitcase as well.” You said to Jinyoung before walking back to the car. Jinyoung and Byounggon already leaving for the hotel as well.

Hyunsuk looked at you and just wanted to help with your suitcase, but you were faster taking it out. “Will you close the car?” you asked Hyunsuk who was just nodding. He was acting weird. What happened in the short time you were talking with Jinyoung? You approached the hotel and heard Hyunsuk behind you.

“Jinyoung, Byounggon you two take a room?” Yonghee asked. The two hugged each other. “Yes.” Yonghee laughed. “Seunghun, you go with Hyunsuk?” Seunghun nodded, not as happy as Jinyoung and Byounggon. Yonghee held the key to you. “I hope you won’t mind us sharing.” You shook your head. “We have shared rooms before.” You took the key and the suitcase. Yonghee met Hyunsuk's eyes and turned around to join you.

Jinyoung turned to Hyunsuk. “Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”

Seunghun looked at Jinyoung. “Don’t. We already had that conversation in the car, it didn’t end well.” Seunghun took his bag and walked to the hotel room.

“How am I supposed to do that? I mean she probably likes Yonghee. They were close since school.”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at Hyunsuk. “She is head over heels in love with you, and if you don’t see that. Look closely. Look how she looks at Yonghee, and how she looks at you.” Jinyoung said.

Byounggon nodded, “Her eyes are shining whenever you say anything. She smiles every single time you talk about something you love.” Byounggon added.

Hyunsuk sighed and nodded, following Seunghun to the room. “Hyung… I am sorry. I didn’t want to snap at you earlier. I was scared she could hear us.”

Seunghun nodded. “Even if, she would at least know how you feel. Perhaps she would have the courage to confess when you don’t.”

“How are you all so sure?” Hyunsuk sat down on the bed.

“Yonghee. He once told me, accidentally.” Seunghun explained. “And Jinyoung and Byounggon, probably see how she is looking at you.”

Hyunsuk looked up at Seunghun, who met his eyes. “Hyung?” Seunghun raised an eyebrow as an answer. “Do you think you can help me get her alone for a short moment? Perhaps at the beach?” Seunghun smiled. “Of course. With Yonghee’s help.”

You got comfortable in your room and listened to some plans Yonghee were thinking of doing.

“(Y/N)?” Yonghee then said. You turned to him. “How about we go to the beach? I have to unpack a little more, but perhaps you could go already. I saw you looking at the beach earlier.”

You smiled. “I have to unpack as well.” You turned back around but Yonghee took the sweater from your hand. “I will unpack for you. Enjoy the beach, take some photos.” He poked your nose and you chuckled.

“Okay.” You smiled, took your jacket, and left the room. Yonghee smiled and did unpack before going to the window, seeing Hyunsuk at the beach, and you slowly approaching.

Seunghun, Jinyoung and Byounggon entered Yonghee’s room and smiled while they also looked out the window.

As you approached the beach you saw Hyunsuk. You were confused, but you smiled.

Hyunsuk looked at you and approached you. “I think you know now why Yonghee insisted on you leaving alone?”

You chuckled. “Well, I know why, but I also don’t.”

Hyunsuk laughed. “You will. Just. Just give me a moment.”

You nodded. “Shall we go closer to the water?” you suggested and Hyunsuk nodded.

“I think you saw Seunghun and Yonghee smirk earlier when I saved you from the car?” Hyunsuk looked at you.

“Yes, they were not very subtle about it.” You explained.

“They have a reason,” Hyunsuk said and took a deep breath. “They know that I fell in love with you. And they know I was always terrified to tell you.” Hyunsuk admitted.

You stopped walking and looked at Hyunsuk who turned to you as he noticed you stopped walking. “You, what?”

“I fell in love with you, (Y/N). Head over heels actually.” Hyunsuk repeated. “I fell in love with how you look when you were listening to music and watching the landscape pass by. I fell in love with how your eyes started to shine whenever you were talking about some scientific facts. I fell in love with the way your laugh sounded, the funnier the joke, the harder your laugh. I fell in love with how you loved the rain and how you were never missing the opportunity to dance in it.” Hyunsuk confessed.

You felt your cheeks heating up, but you had to ignore it. In front of you stood the man you fell in love with, confessing to you, in the perhaps most beautiful way. You had to take all the courage to not mess this up.

“I fell in love with you too, Hyunsuk.” You heard yourself say.

Hyunsuk looked at you, and his smile grew. “Really?”

You approached him, and instead of taking steps away from you, he stood there watching your every step. “Really.” You responded. “I fell in love with your laugh, your voice and how you always cared for your friends. I loved you for a while, and Yonghee knew the whole time. I am pretty sure everyone knew it, except you.”

Hyunsuk chuckled. “Everyone did know, except me.”

You joined his laughing. Hyunsuk cupped your face and looked into your eyes. You did not remove your gaze from his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” Hyunsuk asked.

You smiled. “You never have to ask for permission, Hyunsuk.”

This was all he needed to lean in for the kiss. You kissed him back by putting your arms around his waist. He put one of his hands through your hair, lingering at the back of your head. The other hands wandered to your waist. You both smiled into the kiss, not wanting to break it but eventually did as you heard both of your phone’s ring at the same time.

You laughed. “How much do we want to bet, it’s them in the group chat, watching us.”

Hyunsuk laughed as well. “We don’t have to bet. It is them for sure.”

You both took out your phones and saw the messages:

Seunghun: Finally!

Jinyoung: How cuuuuuute. Look at our maknae.

Byounggon: Our maknae grew up way too fast.

Yonghee: Good luck you two! Hyunsuk, break her heart and I break your bones.

You laughed.

“Yonghee is protecting you very well. Just know from now on, you have me to do that as well. And I don’t plan to ever hurt you” Hyunsuk said.

You grinned. “I know. Let’s go back and have dinner with them.”

Hyunsuk nodded and took your hand, intertwining your fingers. “Come, my love.” He grinned, as you smiled.

You loved him, more than you could ever describe it in words. And you knew, whatever life had in store, with him by your side, everything was going to be okay.

CIX Masterlist | @kbookshelf

[cutie-cix]

hi hi could u write a headcannon of the members as love languages??🤍

Giving each member 2 of them bc I truly think it’s impossible to have only one

Also anything crossed out is nsfw 🤭

Byounggon

Quality time/words of affirmation

This applies to both but he could spend hours with you in his lap (or him in yours, we all know he likes feeling tiny) giving you compliments and reminding you how much he loves you

Loves doing chores when you’re around, like chatting with you while he does the dishes

Expects kisses when he’s done 🙄

You’ll never feel unappreciated when you’re his

And if you’re insecure about yourself he will not accept that

Sends you long text chains about how

Oh and when he’s away on tour??? You have to silence your phone bc it’s vibrating so much with notifications

Will stay on FaceTime with you for hours but he definitely falls asleep super quick

Seunghun

Words of affirmation/physical affection

There will never be a time when you don’t feel loved by him

Like even if he’s away, he’s sending you kissy emojis and reminding you of how much he misses you

He’s the type to want to do the “No you hang up” thing when you’re on the phone (pls just one of you hang up /j)

You’ll be like brushing your teeth and he just comes up behind you and kisses your neck

NSFW bulletpoint: he definitely shows it in bed too, he’s v selfless & wants to make sure you’ve been loved enough before he gets himself off

Another NSFW bullet: oral is his favorite way to show you he loves you, it’s his favorite thing

Anywayssss clingy but in a pouty & whiny way

Yonghee

Acts of service/quality time

Dude could spend hours with you just in his lap playing with his hair

Looking in your eyes is his favorite form of affection, especially when you smile at him

Literally always makes sure you’ve eaten & slept well

Tucks you in if you fall asleep early

If you’re sick he puts tea/soup beside your bed for you when you wake up

If he has to leave early in the morning before you’re awake he puts little notes around the apartment

Things like “Don’t forget to drink water!!” But also like “l love you and I’ll see you when I get home tonight”

And when he gets home he’s so tired so he just wants to cuddle

And oops he’s asleep with you in his arms

Jinyoung

Gifts/acts of service

Gifts are his main act of service

Gets you bougie shit— fancy coats, matching hats for you & him, heart shaped jewelry, designer clothes

Like it’s giving sugar daddy but it’s his way of treating you

Sugar daddy kink ??? He’s got it for SUREEEE

Buys you food like a lot too, another act of service

But like a big ass meal, you buy way more than you can eat & then you’re having leftovers for days

Never cooks for you but that’s ok, he buys you fancy food anyways. He’s not too much of a chef but can cook if he needs to

Honestly prefers cooking when you’re there so you can cook together

Hyunsuk

Physical affection/gifts

Ok ok I’m a firm believer he is not affectionate in public at all but the MOST affectionate in private of all of cix

Like he’s clingy when it’s just you two

Likes to hold your hand while he does things

Blows you lil kisses from across the room

As for gifts he loves giving you things that are significant to you/your relationship

Gives you jewelry with your favorite gemstone

One day he surprises you by taking you to a mall & being like “pick an outfit you wanna buy, I’m paying”

Promise rings are totally his jam!!!

[emojellyace08]

Lookism Men x Singer/Musician! Reader 🖤🥀 🤟 🎶

A/N: I'm making the reader in the subculture of pop-punk smth like that for the most part but feel free to pick your own music genre. Genre: fluff ☁️, and slight angst 🥀 pairing: character/s x reader (romantic ; reader is gender neutral) Warnings: slight mentions of personal problems Picture/character name: Nana Osaki

Daniel Park/Jay Hong/Duke Pyeon/Eli Jang/Jake Kim/Jerry Kwon/Lineman/Sinu Han/Young Jinyoung Park/Jace Park/Kwak Jihan/(add in: Mary Kim! because why not she slays)

They really loves your voice. You're not only kind and helpful, you're also very talented and he feels very gifted to have someone like you :).

They also finds it a new interesting thing about you. If you're shy about your singing/music skills please don't! They're willing to listen to your beautiful voice and amazing talent. So there's need to gatekeep on what you can do (but they wouldn't pressure you too much they know boundaries).

They also wouldn't mind if you collaborate with them! They thinks it's a good bonding time in your relationship. Whether it's singing to other musicians' songs or composing your own they find it really enjoyable.

They would also be you personal manager or your bandmate if you asked me. I'm pretty sure that they at least know something about music or they're just also really good at it but they're also shy about it (whether if they're a good vocalist, knows how to play musical instruments or a composer they will do a good job with it and he'll appreciate it if you help them gather more ideas for new projects). You just gotta keep your relationship in private if both of you ever got famous because of some fans (y'know what I mean).

If you play musical instruments, they would blush when you insist to teach them the basics. Or, if you want to learn how to play and they know how to (please I want someone to teach me how to play the guitar it's so hard lol), they will spend their free time teaching you. Nonetheless if both of you are patient with each other, it can form a strong bond and connection.

They are willing to protect you especially when excited fans tries to touch you when they get a bit too thrilled to finally meet both of you. You even got to scold them while patching them up for being careless about themselves since they get hurt trying to shield you a bunch of times. But don't blame them, they want to make sure you and your privacy is safe (and they'll get flushed and a bit concerned when you also do the same for them).

They will be willing to listen and know about the meaning of your songs/covers. They will find a bit upsetting if you're ashamed of what you can do or if you are using your talent to vent out your negative emotions and personal problems as a coping mechanism. Nonetheless, they will be willing to reach out and talk to you about it. Besides they know that spending your time doing your hobbies/talent can be really healthy to release your stress. But next time don't hesitate to talk about your personal issues because they're your partner and they want to see you better, despite being a bit embarrassing on your part.

If you suffer from stage fright, don't worry if you don't mind they will sing with you! They find it a bit stressful for you to feel like this because they really believe on what you can do and also you as a person. So, they will cheer you up and give the best and genuine compliments.

1000/10 power couple vibes.

Zack Lee/Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)/Goo Kim/Jiho Park/Warren Chae/Tom Lee/Olly Wang/Kuroda Ryuhei/Vin Jin/Yuseong/Kwak Jibeom/Gongseob Ji

Do I even need to start? He will be your number one fan.

Not really good in terms of singing/music? (sorry Vin I do like you but Duke is just better lol). They're probably out of tune most of the times but he will practice almost every hour just to impress you lmao. But with practice and hard work (along with your help), he can keep up with you!

He is willing to give up his training just to stay beside you. They might be a little bit obsessed over you, but they do know boundaries. He'll respect it if you want your free time, but he will still cry inside because he really wants to spend his extra time with you.

He will not admit it, but he thinks that he enjoys spending his time with you teaching him your interests? It's not necessarily that he's super passionate with music (except for Vin). But he finds it a good hobby when he's bored. He would also find it enjoyable if he teaches you his body training techniques (but he may unconsciously push you to your limits so you gotta tell him what you like and what you're not comfortable with). He would also force you almost every night (especially Yuseong, Goo, and Ryuhei) to hum him a lullaby before he sleeps, bastard. But like I said, he would stop if you're not comfortable with it. But if he has puppy ears it would surely droop down the moment you turned off his offer.

He thinks that playing musical instruments is so damn hard. Like how the hell can you play *your instrument of choice* so smooth? Almost perfectly if you asked me. Now he wanna learns how to play too! Be patient with him because he may accidentally break it (for example strumming the guitar so hard lmao).

He will also whoop someone's ass if they ever tried to touch you. But he may misunderstand the situation with someone who's just excited to ask for an autograph 🗿. Now don't blame him, he's really cautious with any potential danger (especially when you became famous). Now you gotta scold his ass off telling him to be nicer to your fans and he'll be crying and sniffing pleading for your forgiveness. But still, his preservative demeanor will still be active especially when you're out for tours. He's also a great body guard even when he's super a blockheaded person at times.

He's the type to look really tough but cries at hearing emotional songs? You can see the tears that threatened to fall on his now red-glossy eyes as he doesn't know why he feels like this every time you sing a meaningful song with your beautiful song. You're like a goddess given life, his princess if you asked me.

He will scream like the biggest fanboy he's ever been when you're feeling nervous for a stage performance. The only thing missing at this point is him holding up a board with your pictures plastered with colorful/*color of choice* on it to cheer you up lmao.

He' a chaotic crackhead and also pretty dumb at times. He wants to guard and almost babysit you on rehearsals.

Gun Park/Johan Seong/Jiho Park (villain arc/James Lee/Daniel Park (post-gun training/Jay Hong/Jake Kim/Samuel Seo/Taesoo Ma/Kwak Jichang/Hudson Ahn/Yoojin/Mandeok/Cheon Taejin/Xiaoleoung/Jason Yoon/Brad Lee

He doesn't really care if you can sing or make music? But he does find it an interesting fact about you though.

He would be honestly feel a bit blessed if he have a partner who's not only strong willed, helpful and emotionally intelligent/logical but also talented (his type might be a too unrealistic but I guess as long as you're a positive or a good person he might catch feelings for you especially Daniel).

Doesn't really care about one's physical appearance in some aspects (some men in this list have preferences but he's not too picky either except for Samuel and Jiho lmao). But he would find it hot and appealing if you wear your own preference in clothing that matches your music style. He thinks that it can also catch your audiences' attention to be presentable not only talent/skill wise but also in your fashion sense.

He might not admit it but he loves your voice. He finds it calming since he's either having troubles with his sleep schedule and he's really tired. Anything you sing is okay for him, hearing your voice is enough as you ruffle his hair to help him take a nap. But his cold-stone heart will slowly melt if you sing his favorite song/s for him in a soft and calm manner.

He's not really a singer but he does hum at times either when if he's bored or in private all alone because he's too focused on his work or either he's embarrassed by it (Daniel has a very exceptional singing skills we all that). He might reject or skip your offer of him helping you out for your project since he's either busy dealing with his enemies, him getting a bit shy and unsure, or him just not being in the mood for it. But after some forcing persuading, he might accept your offer but he still have doubts about it lol. He might prefer doing some back-up vocals though. He will find it annoying if you keep forcing him to sing with you. But he can't resist to you as his partner. So you might hear a low (yet beautiful tone) voice of his singing along with you especially on karaoke bars.

Though I headcannon that he prefers being your bodyguard/manager (something along of the lines like that). Since he's super strong, cunning, fast and a very outstanding fighter he wouldn't hesitate to kick your stalker's ass the moment he catches up on them. He wants to make sure that your privacy and personal life is secured and safe as much as possible. And he will get his job done.

Not the best in comfort because he's mostly serious at times (especially Gun and Samuel), but he will still try his best to cheer you up before your performance. You're precious to him.

He will not admit it but he does find it enjoyable to spend time with you on what you like to do/hobbies especially when he's free. He might be interested to play your instrument of choice or practice his vocal skills more with you as his coach and lover. Who knows?

Bonus! DG (Kang Dag Yeom)/Daniel Park/Duke Pyeon (sorry I might come out as a bit of a biased person lmao)

He's a singer/musician as well! So no need to be embarrassed by your music skills.

Though he can't help to admire your beauty, he's most likely act professional in times of work. You got lots of projects to do that must be done on time, so he'll most likely put his feelings aside first.

He's very attentive about your ideas for your new projects. If you don't mind he might even recommend some tips and his thoughts for that additional flair on the music. Not only him working with you is organized, it's also very enjoyable while still being focused.

He might know how to play a musical instrument (DG for sure), but for Daniel and Duke they're more of a vocalist and composer. So teaching him how to play or you studying together to play your musical instrument of choice is also very entertaining. DG will be willing to teach you the basics first if you asked him for help when he's free. So you don't need to feel shy about it.

He also cares for the meaning of the songs you're composing/making a cover for. He really believes that music is not only something catchy on our hearing, but also it needs to be a beautiful and meaningful masterpiece. He might get concerned if your song of choice might be a bit personal on your side, but he'll make sure that he'll talk about it with you (in a good way ofc). Nonetheless as long as you're happy with the song, he'll be fine with it too.

He'll also try his best to protect you. Daniel and DG can kick some perverted people if needed. As for Duke, I'm not really confident that he can fight back but I'm sure he'll still try his best to take care of you in his own ways :).

They feel stage fright at times but he'll get a bit more anxious when you're the one that experiences it. He wants you to know that you can get through it. So if you don't mind he will sing with you too.

1000/10 couple vibes (again lol).

[dearly-somber]

Don’t Wanna Cry | l.ch

-> pairing. Lee Chan x reader (f)

-> genre. angst, hurt-comfort, high school!au

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 779

-> warnings. crying, implied/ referenced bullying

-> a/n. This song slaps

-> collection. songfic

-> started. Aug. 13th, 2020 @ 22:34

-> fin. Mar. 17th, 2020 @ 20:17

-> edited. Wed., Jul. 12th, 2023 @ 23:34

You sat on the bench in one of the more secluded areas of the school grounds, eating your sandwich in the peace and quiet of the student-less field.

You had your legs crossed with your book laying in front of you, reading it with a slight breeze fluttering the pages. It was just as you turned the page when you suddenly heard noises. It sounded like someone was talking, and being the curious person that you were, you sneaked up to check it out. When you got there you saw Lee Chan, one of the quieter guys in your class, being pushed around by some of the older students. He was wearing a baby blue and white striped shirt with some jeans, an outfit that fit him well, you thought. He was one of the more tolerable guys in your class, and you couldn't deny that you might've developed a small crush.

You wanted to ask what they were doing when you think his name was Jinyoung, hit Chan square in the jaw. You had to cover your mouth to stop yourself from gasping out loud, ducking behind the wall when Jaebum, the tallest of the three boys, snapped around to look in your direction. Peeking around the corner a bit later, you watched as Jinyoung punched Chan in the gut, pushing him to the floor for Jaebum to kick him.

"Don't ever think about telling your friends again, you hear me? Piece of shit…” Jinyoung laughed evilly as he walked away with Jaebum's arms thrown casually over his shoulders.

As soon as the two boys were out of sight, you rushed forward, crouching down beside Chan who was clutching his stomach tightly. Only when you were right next to him did you realize that he was crying, leaning against the back of the wall with his head facing the sky. He had a busted lip and bruising jaw. You could only guess how his stomach must look.

"괜찬하? Are you alright?” You asked him worriedly, reaching out a hand before retracting it awkwardly. Slowly, he looked down at you, sniffling.

"Who..?"

"I'm Y/N. I sit a few seats behind you? But that isn't important right now. We need to get you to the nurse's office—"

"No! No teachers. They'll kill me if a teacher finds out..." Chan said desperately, wincing. You bit your lip as you thought before standing up.

"Okay. Stay here, alright? I'll be right back!" You gathered your things and rushed to the nurse's office. You grabbed everything you needed and headed back to where Chan was supposed to be. Thankfully he had stayed put, staring at the spot in front of him in a daze. You crouched in front of him, tearing his gaze away from the grass to look at you.

You were quick to get to work, dabbing at his lip with some disinfectant. He winced back at the uncomfortable stinging, but you took your hand and gently turned his head back to you. His eyes were red and puffy, reminding you sadly of a kicked puppy. "I know it stings, but you have to sit still," you muttered, looking at him pleadingly.

He took a moment before nodding, a smile forming on your face. Back to work, you started getting shy at the way he stared at you, a pink hue dusting your cheeks.

“울고 싶지 않아... I don't wanna cry," he mumbled after a while, as you were gently dabbing his lip with a piece of cotton. You hesitated, looking at him questioningly.

He explained himself with an apologetic smile, "Those guys are always beating me up, because they want me to give them cash at school.” He sounded tired as he spoke, eyes glazed over with unused tears. "Every time that they do, I always end up crying. And it makes me feel even more pathetic than I already am.” Tears formed at the corner of his eyes.

After a moment of debate, you cupped his cheeks with both of your hands, forcing him to look at you.

"Lee Chan," you began sternly. “There's nothing wrong with crying. I can only imagine how much it must hurt," you mumbled, rubbing your thumb over his cheek absent-mindedly, not noticing the way his eyes fluttered at the affectionate action. "I'll stay with you from now on, okay?"

You gently brought him in for a hug, resting your chin on his shoulder with your arms wrapped around his torso. He smiled sadly, biting down on his lip to stop himself from crying. He hugged you back. "Thank you," he whispered.

"It's my pleasure." You stroked his back with a soft smile.

[papermatisse]

sandbox || J.CM (XII)

♘ pairing: gamer!changmin x f!gamer!reader

♘ genre: semi-smau, fluff, crack

♘ word count: 2.2k

♘ warnings: none

series masterlist | main masterlist

prev | next

"I need rice."

"Where are the steaks?"

"I tossed you one earlier!"

"Well, now I need another one!"

"There's no steak orders!"

"Then get me chicken!"

"The chicken is right next to you!"

"I need rice."

Chanhee screamed as the rice he had forgotten about burst into flames before his eyes. Once the fire had begun, so did the pandemonium among the three of them—as if it hadn't already been hectic enough for them. Scrambling around in a panicked fiasco, (y/n) snagged the fire extinguisher and rushed to the scene, Kevin gathered whatever materials he could to get out any last order they could possibly appease, and Chanhee ran about, still screaming in either frustration or panic, or perhaps both.

The timer dinged, and a collected sigh sounded out from the three exhausted chefs who sunk into their seats, defeated after such an abysmal service. Yet they still somehow managed to get the three stars they had strived for.

"Wasn't worth it," Kevin huffed, exiting to return to the main map.

"I lost more than I gained with that level," Chanhee added, downing the water bottle beside him and wiping off sweat as if he had completed a marathon.

"I'm actually quitting if we get another tortilla level, I can't do this again," (y/n) groaned, taking a moment to check her separate monitor where both the chat of their stream resided, though also where the other's first Raft stream played. It was on mute, so as to not disturb her current activities, though it was comforting nevertheless—to merely glance over and see her other friends enjoying themselves together.

As Kevin and Chanhee went through the dialogue of the game, discussing what was to be done with the Unbread wreaking havoc on the kingdom, (y/n) checked up on the boys.

She was watching Jinyoung's stream, and from what she could see, they had not improved much at all in the past hour. Still standing on a makeshift platform of weakened wooden slabs, most of their surface area taken up by chests of useless garbage. While muted, she could tell they were arguing with one another. Jinyoung himself was seated at the sidelines, mouth occasionally moving, but for the most part merely fishing for more material. When he'd glance over, she could see the boys' characters all gathered together facing one another. The argument seemed to be settled when Juyeon shoved Sunwoo off the raft, and they all unanimously began paddling away as quickly as possible.

With a hum of laughter, her eyes shifted to Changmin's avatar. Once again, much like when they first started playing together during Gang Beasts, he had taken time for his character, now with a shark head from when he presumably killed that shark tormenting the lot.

She hadn't forgotten Jinyoung's words, both in regards to her feelings towards Changmin, but also his feelings towards her. She attempted that essay he had assigned her, begrudgingly clicking onto Changmin's archived streams once more to analyze his behavior towards her versus others, though she couldn't help believing her initial stance on the matter.

It just seemed more reasonable to label it as him being kind to a new person as opposed to his familiar group of rowdy boys that requires some form of ruthlessness to survive. The discovery left her more disconcerted, to say the least, now the thought of her crush being unreciprocated plaguing her mind.

She wanted to avoid him. It was easier to write off his actions as being mere human kindness, but it was also easier to merely steer clear of him, thereby ignoring her very real and very present emotions. Feelings were a complicated matter she wanted nothing to do with, especially with a technical coworker. It'd just make everybody uncomfortable, knowing she had grown to like him, and when Changmin rejects her, it would grow awkward amongst the two groups.

But even if she ignored the soft thrum in her heart whenever she was with him, she couldn't deny the fond smile that would sprout on her face from looking at his streams.

She had to conceal her amused giggle as she saw Sunwoo come back with a vengeance, shoving Changmin off the raft next. But the moment Changmin climbed back up, Sunwoo was fleeing, voluntarily running off the raft to avoid Changmin's wrath.

With a grin on her face and a newfound surge of motivation, she turned back to her game, though that energy depleted almost immediately when she saw the next level, sighing tiredly when she saw clouds surrounding the level's entry.

"Okay, here's the game plan," Chanhee began, drawing his co-chefs closer to their monitors as if in a virtual huddle. "Fuck teamwork. Every man for themselves. We each do our own recipes, got it?"

"Yes." Some would say her response was too quick, but it had become clear that they were not good working together. They'd be helping each other more if they just kept to themselves the entire game.

And it somehow magically worked on their first try, each of them keeping to their own dishes as they cranked out orders to the point that they near doubled the required points for three stars.

"They've somehow managed to make a multiplayer game single player," Kevin read one of the comments aloud, earning laughs from the other two who were celebrating their victory. "I feel like we need to play another game to showcase our cooperation skills."

"We don't have any of that," Chanhee stated. "Well, you and I don't. (y/n) is good with co-op, that's why the guys wanted her on their raft."

"(y/n), you should've chosen the raft. This is hell."

"And you think the raft isn't?" Kevin burst into laughter at (y/n)'s words, Chanhee typing as Kevin was preoccupied.

"Let's see what hell on earth really means." As he said this, he began streaming the Raft game on his cam, moving it to take up his screen momentarily.

"I think we're going in circles," Juyeon noted, his character looking around at the vast expanse of ocean surrounding them.

"No we're not, I'm an expert navigator," Byounggon defended himself, continuing to row away without any care to Juyeon's words.

"Then I think we u-turned at some point because we passed by that island already." To their right, a large island obscured by fog rose above the horizon.

"Ah! The shark's back!" Sunwoo hollered, character narrowly leaping onto the raft just as the shark had lunged for him.

"We really need a grill, we have so much shark meat," Jinyoung whined, rifling through one of their chests for inventory.

"Okay yes, that's the same island we went to before, I think I turned us around at some point," Byounggon admitted, already beginning to rotate the small yet terribly bulky raft.

"Who forgot to refill the water?" Changmin's voice was full of disdain, practically dripping with venom as his character glowered at the others, the spear in his hand suddenly extremely imposing, enough to initiate the blame game between them all, pointing fingers and accusing each other to avoid Changmin's fury.

"Wait," Juyeon interrupted the bunch, halting everyone's movements. "My stream is saying that Chanhee is watching us."

It grew quiet for a moment in both streams. (y/n) glanced over at Kevin, his hand covering his mouth, as if attempting to silence his breathing.

The thing that broke their standstill was the familiar chime of someone joining their voice channel on discord, causing the three to all scream in a panic, Chanhee exiting their Raft stream to hide the evidence from the intruder.

"What's going on here? What are you guys up to?" Sunwoo casually asked, the smirk on his face audible through his tone.

"We're cooking!" Kevin explained, clicking onto the next level without consulting anyone, causing Chanhee to screech in protest.

"Your co-chef was on break!" He screamed, snatching up his controller and rushing forth into the level with them.

"Okay, well, you guys can manage the kitchen on your own, right? You'll be fine with me stealing (y/n) for a moment?"

(y/n) blinked at this, pausing her chopping to stare confoundedly at the voice channel upon the man's suggestion, as if staring directly at him.

"Yeah, we can deal with the dinner rush," Kevin agreed, causing (y/n) to turn around and look at his facecam instead with perhaps even more astonishment. And Chanhee had literally nothing else to say, aside from telling Kevin to get out of his way.

And so she was being escorted to the other voice channel alongside Sunwoo, popping in moments later once she had dismissed herself from her fellow chefs.

"(y/n)!" Byounggon exclaimed enthusiastically, prompting the others to follow suit.

"Hello," she greeted them softly, taken aback at the warm welcome. "What's up?"

"We're dying," Jinyoung stated simply. Juyeon quickly jumped in to salvage their reputation, dismissing Jinyoung's words almost instantaneously.

"We're not dying yet," he started. "We are struggling. There's a difference."

"Be more specific, please," (y/n) spoke, biting back her laughter at the sight of the crumbling crew before her.

"Well for starters, they have left me for dead like five times already," Sunwoo snapped.

"Byounggon has been taking us in circles," Juyeon added.

"Jinyoung keeps picking up garbage we don't need at the moment instead of wood which we desperately need," Byounggon joined.

"Sunwoo keeps trying to take revenge for us trying to kill him," Jinyoung's voice now chimed in.

"So you admit you were trying to kill me!"

"Well, yeah, I thought that was a given."

More arguing commenced, everyone shouting over the other in protest. Though as they all fought, (y/n) saw her phone light up with a notification. A text from Changmin.

"A+." The argument came to a halt at Jinyoung's sudden proclamation, a confused silence settling over the group.

"Either way," Juyeon continued, seemingly used to Jinyoung's nonsense at this point and choosing to ignore him. "You're all praying on my downfall, admit it."

"Jokes on you, I'm not religious," Byounggon snapped back, bringing yet another round of silence.

"That's not what praying—Okay, well." Juyeon sighed to himself, relenting at the moment and allowing Sunwoo an opportunity to jump in.

"We'd be doing great if I wasn't constantly in danger of dying by my own teammates."

"We'd be better if you didn't suck ass at this game," Jinyoung muttered, though before Sunwoo could begin arguing with him, Changmin's voice suddenly appeared.

"(y/n), please play with us." His voice was soft, as it always was whenever his words were directed to her.

Suddenly that damned essay of hers came to mind. That essay along with the hours of research she'd sunk into such a minuscule project. Hours of watching Changmin's old streams, laughing at his silly antics, marveling at his gaming expertise, finding herself sinking back into that pitiful state of hers where she'd fall asleep to his voice.

It was an activity that wasn't meant to be completed. Something she knew Jinyoung was merely joking about. But she wrote that essay anyways. And she knew why.

It was a way to convince herself of the falsity of it all. A way to write off his charming mannerisms and unending niceties as something else. As something not correlated to her own budding emotions for him. Because Jinyoung had a point. Changmin was kind. Especially so when she was involved. He was patient and attentive, never showed any form of anger towards her, even in the joking sense. There were his friends, and then there was (y/n). He made her feel like she was her own category to him. Not in an alienating manner, but instead in a reversed sort of respect. A special treatment for this specific person in his life.

And it was growing harder and harder to deny all of these excuses compiling in her fearful mind. Though perhaps she should finally just let go. Embrace her emotions. Neither push for nor neglect the budding emotions stirring in her, or him for that matter. Just see where life takes her.

"Okay," she quietly voiced out, tone displaying her hesitancy in the matter. Clearing her throat, she continued on. "I'll join in the next session."

Silence settled over the group of boys for a second, and she grew worried momentarily that this was not their intention in bringing her here and showing their disorder. Though before she could take back her words, a sudden cacophony of noise sounded through her headphones, all the boys cheering simultaneously at the news.

The dissonance grated on her ears, but she couldn't help but laugh at their ruckus. All of the hostility they once shared with one another now dissipated into nothing, each of them forgetting why they hated the other as they celebrated her arrival.

Returning to Chanhee and Kevin had been less ceremonious.

"You're abandoning us for them?" Chanhee asked, clear disgust laced in his voice. Glancing at his face cam proved her assumption correct that he had a repulsed scowl on his face.

"You can't call it abandoning if we're literally finishing this game tonight," she defended, getting back into the swing of things naturally.

"Uhh, what about Overcooked 1?" Kevin asked, as if it were the most obvious chain of events to play the second game and then the first.

"I didn't sign up for that, I signed up for Overcooked 2."

"Fine, understandable," he grumbled, continuing to cook as orders piled up.

All the while, (y/n) was silently glad she had her camera off, because otherwise everybody would see the permanent smile fixed on her face ever since she accepted the Raft invite.

taglist: @byuntrash101 @valewoos @yogurteume @archival-hogwash @kyufessions @tranquilpetrichor

(a/n): sorry for the delayed chapter! I got distracted w other things lol (finishing that 30k hoshi fic). but I'm back!

[angelsvoice1love]

Can't stay away from you

"Jackson Wang"

"1 year ago"

Y/n: You need to leave. You said, as you tried to push him out of your apartment.

Jackson: Why?

Y/n: Because...i can't do this anymore.

Jackson: What do you mean?

Y/n: Us. Jackson. I...i can't do this anymore. Please...just leave. You asked, with tears leaving your eyes.

Jackson: I don't believe you.

Y/n: What? What do you mean, you don't believe me?

Jackson: I don't believe that you want this to be over. Because if you did, you wouldn't be crying right now. He said, as he took a step closer.

Y/n: No. No, no, no. I'm breaking up with you, and I would appreciate it if you leave.

Jackson: Not until, you give me the real reason your breaking up with me.

Sighing, you shook your head as you bit your lip trying to figure out a way to break it.

Y/n: Fine. The reason I'm breaking up with you is, the fact that I'm getting constantly bullied online and attacked over your fans a d I can't take it anymore. I just can't. It's stressful Jackson, me...an ordinary girl dating a celebrity. I...i just don't think it's working.

Jackson: But y/n, I love you. He said, as he took hold of your shoulders. Please, we can work something out...anything-

Y/n: NO! You yelled, as you loosened yourself from his grip. Please...just leave. You asked, turning your back at him.

Jackson didn't know what to do, as he nodded taking his jacked and leaving your apartment.

1 year later

It's been an entire year, and yes it was rough but you got through it. Today was your birthday, and you were celebrating it alone seeing as all your family were in America. You never regretted moving to Korea, and you've loved it every single day.

Nodding your head, you lit the candle in the cake. Closing your eyes you made your wise, and blew out the candle when a knock came from your door. Frowning you went to the door, opening it to see none other than JayB and Jinyoung.

Jinyoung and JayB: SURPRISE!

Y/n: W...what are you doing here?

Jinyoung: We came, since it's your birthday. Besides, no one should celebrate their birthday alone. Also...we really miss you.

JayB: That's why we came. It's been too long...please can we come in?

Y/n: Okay.

Smiling they both came in with home made food, shaking your head the three of you sat by the table starting to plate the food.

Y/n: Wow, guys this is really good. You said, as you took another bite of food.

JayB: Thanks. You know, as we picked the food in the containers Jackson asked us what we were doing.

Y/n: What?

Jinyoung: Yeah. We told him that we were going to surprise you, seeing that it was your birthday and along with the fact that we haven't seen you in a year. We deserve that, don't we? I asked him, and he just nodded his head, saying that he hopes we have a good time with you. He also said that he never intended for us to stay away from you, or stop being friends.

Y/n: Wait...so your saying you stayed away from me for an entire year, because you thought he wouldn't like it?

JayB: Yes.

Y/n: I...i still don't feel comfortable with the fact that you guys are here knowing that he's along at your dorm?

JayB: Yes. Why? What's wrong?

Y/n: Oh...um, nothing. I just need to get my lip balm from my room be right back. You said, as you ran to your bedroom grabbing your phone and dialing Jackson's number.

Phone call

Jackson: Hello.

Y/n: H...hi, Jackson it's y/n how are you? You asked, biting your lip.

Jackson: Y...y/n? I...I'm fine and yourself?

Y/n: Good. Good.

Jackson: Glad to hear. It's been a while.

Y/n: Yes, it has been. Um...listen the boys are here and I was wondering, if your alone would you like to...join us. You said holding your breath slightly.

Jackson: Sure. That sounds lovely, I'll bring desert. He said turning the phone off.

End of phone call

After a while Jackson was at your apartment door, and smiled widely as he saw you opening the door.

Jackson: Hi, I...i brought white chocolate mouse. I remembered it's your favorite.

Y/n: Oh, please come in.

Jackson: Um...where are the guys?

Y/n: O, yeah. They left in a hurry, JayB co-star got hurt and Jinyoung said he'll go help.

Jackson: Oh. Um...guess, I'll just leave then. He said as he turned to open the door.

Y/n: You don't have to. All this food is just going to go to waist and you did come all this way, besides I remembered you love kimchi fried rice.

Jackson: I do.

Later that night

Y/n: I forgot how much fun you could actually be. You said, as you laughed both sitting on the couch drinking some beers.

Jackson: I missed how much I talked to you like this. It's getting late, I should go. He said before he stopped as he felt your hand.

Y/n: Jackson? I want to explain why I broke up with you a year ago.

Nodding Jackson sat down as he waited for you to start talking. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath as you looked into his eyes after a few seconds.

Y/n: Jackson-

Jackson: I know the reason. Don't you remember you told me, the night you broke up with me?

Y/n: Oh. Guess, I forgot.

Jackson: I understand that you broke up with me, due to being constantly bullied online. Besides, if I had to choose being with you and you getting constant shit, or you being single and happy...id choose you to be happy. He said, as he tapped your hand with his. I don't mind what you did, just as long as your happy and feel safe it's all good.

Y/n: Jackson. You said, taking hold of his hand firmly.

Jackson: Yes. He asked, holding your hand gently.

Y/n: That's just the thing. Im not.

Jackson: What do you mean?

Y/n: I mean, yes. Yes, I'm happy but not like I should be.i have a job that I love, have friends I love, but the most important thing I don't have. I don't have you. You said, as you looked into his beautiful brown eyes.

Jackson: Y/n-

Y/n: I'm sorry, that I hurt you so much. I never wanted to, I swear. I-

Jackson cut you off, by grabbing both sides of your face and kissing you passionately.

Jackson: How about we start a new chapter?

Y/n: I'd like that.