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#i feel like i will delete this later cause i feel like it's too much lol so enjoy till it is here jsksjs
foxgloveinspace · 2 months
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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hissterical-nyaan · 11 months
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oceanmoongirl143 · 3 days
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michameinmicha · 1 month
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Cant help but hope in getting voice change soon but maybe i just do dumb stuff with my voice and thats why it sound weird?
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c2-eh · 1 year
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anything Carc because the Carc you wrote was hot af (I can’t choose a trope, I would love all of them) (putting this in anon to follow the rules but I suppose you know who that is ahah)
haha yeah i think i know who you are 😘 and thank you so much ❤️ i have couple things in my wips but that's for future when (if) i finish them.
okay i managed to whip this teeeny tiny thing for you. i don't know if you'll like it but hopefully yes <3 oh and we are ignoring their schedules for the sake of this pwp.
It was a miracle Marc could attend F1 weekend with Carlos – with both of their schedules packed full, almost always on the opposite side of the other. However, Carlos was very glad they've synced it all in the end.
Especially now, when he has Marc sitting on his cock, squirming and humming at Carlos' every slight shift.
Marc has his face tucked in the crook of Carlos' neck, hot air hitting his skin with his every breath. Carlos loves the proximity and heat from Marc’s body so close to his. After so long of not seeing each other, this is the best way to spend the time.
Marc is hard – his dick dark red and leaking against Carlos' stomach, making a mess on his red t-shirt. MM93 red t-shirt that Marc threw at him after the shower. “It’s only Wednesday, you don’t have to wear Ferrari yet.”
Carlos did not even bother to strip after Marc suggested their, let’s say activity for the evening. He knows his boyfriend loves to see him in his clothes, even more then they’re tiny, hugging Carlos’ chest so perfectly it almost makes Marc visibly drool.
Deep guttural groan leaves his lips when Marc clenches around him, his hand immediately going to grab his hip in bruising grip, “fuck, don’t do that, or we won’t be here for long.”
Carlos is honestly impressed by Marc’ self-control. Despite the fact his dick is begging for attention and from time to time Carlos inside him brushes his prostate, he’s fairly calm. He’s not sure how long it’s been, but he feels like he himself might explode soon.
He feels Marc drop a small kiss on his neck and then move away to face him. His cheeks are flushed pink and there is a smirk playing on his mouth and oh no. Marc rolls his hips, excruciatingly slow and Carlos moans so loud he feels bad for people next door.
“Don’t come, I’m not done sitting here. I am comfortable,” Marc says and kisses Carlos on the mouth.
anonymously tell me what pairing/porn trope/kink you wish i would write
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knifesxedge · 3 months
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imagine if my medication worked to stabilize my bipolar disorder.
#pi's personal#delete later#i WOULD be Worse without it like ping ponging up and down and suicidal 90% of the time instead of 20%#but i can dream of a world where the smallest thing doesn’t suddenly trigger a hairpin transition into a depressive episode.#that would be nice.#and it always is The Smallest Most Insignificant Things that trigger it#making me seem like a huge bitch and the world’s worst person#aw you’re sobbing hysterically because you couldn’t find parking in a downtown parking garage on a friday evening? literally anybody else#would just suck it up. nobody else would do that#now this is something i should be bringing up in therapy and not talking about to my 1000+ tumblr followers BUT#i have a theory that it’s always a straw that breaks the camel’s back situation.#things build up and i don’t feel like i’m really struggling that much with things or bottling them up but i Am. and then i hit a seemingly#arbitrary tipping point and it all comes combusting out like a shrapnel explosion#the fun thing about it is that because it seems so arbitrary i drive people away from me#because they think i’m severely overreacting to something very small#and also that i’m a Huge Fucking Bitch. just the worst kind of mean annoying lashing out person#everyyyyyything has to be about me. i always make it about me. i always cause a scene.#and rightfully so nobody then wants to be around me. or to take my side in a conflict.#because i am quite literally The Problem.#and it’s like i can’t even help it. it’s like i can’t control it. i just go into a state of Shutdown Overwhelm and suddenly things are#Too Much and i lash out at anything i can because it all goes spilling outward.#and THAT is why nobody who knows me well enough wants to be around me
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scierwnik · 4 months
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Dude this sucks
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squuote · 5 months
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i need to draw my narrator design like a lot. i need to draw him to death or until i truly get sick of this guy. proper narrator burnout
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disengaged · 6 months
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not to be self-centred and an attention whore but 🤡 my roommate hasn't texted me once since i told him i got locked up. lol. idk why i even bothered telling him i'm in here, all he said was "please be safe" and then radio silence for 5 days. we used to be friends but idk anymore
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chiistarri · 6 months
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imsoo normal about guys byw
#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die#fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die#cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh#i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever#this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi#the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare#serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home#everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump#anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms#killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti#save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight#on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work#lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush#cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav#the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms#i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him#sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls#i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim#all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family#noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me#sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep#ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep#post#erics tag#delete later#serenity needs this as a ref in the morning#i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason#shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much#gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb
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foxgloveinspace · 1 year
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I think I stopped feeling silly about how much Sleep Token has influenced how much I want to pick back up my practice (and honestly my motivation to practice) yesterday when I was on a binge of Chaotic Witch Aunts older videos and found out they had a small section of their alter dedicated to Florence Welch, and how they talked about how much Florence + the Machine influenced their witchcraft, and it was honestly very freeing lmao.
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bibiana112 · 7 months
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I would like to stop finding Akane Kurashiki relatable for one day of my life thank you why is my chest heavy
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pierswife · 1 year
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Vent under cut fjqjsjq sorry I am just a certified mess rn
I've been doing so so good not crying since Wednesday, almost cried I wanna say 3 times? Once when dropping a friend off, once when I left my sister's (she lives 9 hours away from me), and once while I was driving home. But it's like all crashing on me now since I can finally properly rest and there is just an overwhelming urge to cry cause I miss the people I care about, especially when some of them I only get to see once a year. I'm getting so fucking lucky and I get to see my sister in person twice. I miss my friends. I miss my sister. I miss them so fucking much. I miss my sister so fucking much. I miss my big sister. It's no fair. I wanna see her more often but work and school schedules suck. I got lucky that my sister could skip working her second job so I could go see her when I was doing my 14 hours drive home. This is the person who kept me as safe as she could a sacrificed so fucking much when one of our parents was being an asshole and making our lives and our mom's life hell. It's not fair I don't get to see her every day. I know we're both adults and it's not like we don't call and text everyday but it's not the same as being able to run and hug her whenever I want or to be able to poke my head into her room and ask if she's awake because I don't wanna be alone. When I was leaving her house she hit me with "If I hug you, that means goodbye and I don't want to" and honestly it broke me but I didn't wanna cry in front of her cause I knew she'd start crying too so I forced myself to stay strong and keep smiling. And god I miss my friends so much I had literally one of the best weeks of my life being able to hang out with some of the people I care about the most and not having to worry about work or school or monet and just have fun with them. Walking away back to my car to start driving home was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I knew if I started crying that I'd be exhausted after and not awake enough to drive, so I didn't.
I'm just so tired and I don't wanna cry because it's obviously not the last time I'll see all of them, but it still fucking hurts knowing I can't see them whenever I want because of distance and it just makes me feel so alone that a good handful of the people I care about the most are so physically out of reach. It fucking sucks.
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bonetrousledbones · 2 years
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finally managed to convince my mom to get me re-evaluated for adhd
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zipquips · 11 months
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vent in tags
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pepprs · 2 years
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girl why is EVERYONE being cavalier about this. i just found out i literaly was sitting 3 feet across from someone who was symptomatic with covid for 2 hours yesterday. she was masked and i was wearing an n95 but that is not a guarantee that i didn’t get it. I was exposed 30ish hours ago but if i got it it hasn’t incubated yet probably so i May n out be symptomatic yet but i could be. and my family who made my life a LIVING HELL back in 2020 and 2021 over being afraid i would give them covid suddenly don’t give a single shit about it when this is the most significant way i have ever been exposed. they think im being irrational and don’t habe patience for me panicking over it and not wanting to go be around them and act like everything is normal. um maybe im panicking for good fucking reason because i don’t want to get you sick and i don’t want to be sick myself? like someone please tell me im not fucking crazy im about to lose my shit
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