#i feel myself shutting down

[boywhocriedlove]

i dont tihnk i csn hold myself together through this. theres so mucy i wm strong enough to conquer but i dont think youll come back to me, not when youre choosing this way

i cant be honest anywhere. as soon as you want the url to this blog i should delete this i wontm because im a stupid cowsrd and i hope mwybe rewding this will make you see what youre doing to me snd make it matter to you

but i know you see

i know you dont care enough to make it syop and

you just aske dme to losten to a aong

why

why must i bend to your emotiojs your struggles your will your everything here

when im the one whi wws wronged

why do i martyr myself for this

why am i unallowed to be mentally ill

to be borderline and acared

and hurt

and hurt

and hurt

you aay you want me to be myself

when when i am you turn qway from me wnd run to him

i hate him

[that-cool-guy]

PAST BROZONE LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

I just wanted to add little differences to them as in the movie well… they look like carbon copy’s of each other, just recoloured

SO I GAVE THEM PAZZAZ GLAM GLITZ- well kinda, they still look like the originals hehe

[lazylittledragon]

hi! I absolutely love your art and I get so happy when I see it come up on my feed! 🥰

if I can ask, why does cyra use a cane sometimes? I just saw your art where gale and cyra are with their newborn and cyra is walking with their toddler and she has a cane and I was curious.

have a good day! 😁💚

thank you so much!!!

i don't think i've said much about it other than 'she almost died' aksdhsh but everything went very wrong when the first one was born and she got sepsis, which can really fuck you up long term and she developed chronic fatigue.

she definitely tells the children that she's got a sword hidden inside it

[skania]

Some of the things people say about Akane make me wonder if there's an alternative version of the manga out there somewhere.

Akane doesn't want what's best for Aqua, she's just an enabler—

All Akane has wanted to do all along is help Aqua the same way he helped her. When Aqua told her that his goal was to kill someone, Akane said she would help because she realized that the best way to support Aqua was to share his burden with him, so he won't feel all alone anymore.

(Spoilers for the most recent chapters under the cut!)

Just like Akane herself said, it has nothing to do with right or wrong. It's all about being by Aqua's side and carrying that burden with him, so that he won't have to endure the pain alone.

For Akane, saying I'll help you kill him meant You're not alone. No matter what happens, I'll accept you as you are (just like you were there for me). Still, later we're clearly shown that if it's up to her, she wouldn't want Aqua to get his hands dirty.

When Akane realizes that Aqua is actually lying to himself and that what he actually wants is to be free from his revenge, she switches gears.

Instead of carrying the burden with him, she decides to carry it for him. Because she wants the best for Aqua, for him to be happy and free.

This is true even now. When Aqua realizes Akane's intentions and tries to cut her off to protect her, her worst fears come true. Aqua is just about to let himself be consumed by his revenge, essentially throwing his life away.

So since she couldn't save him by being by his side, Akane decides to save him from himself by standing in his way.

That is her way of sharing his burden.

She's just an enabler—

Akane made him worse—

Aqua's self-destructive tendencies don't worsen after Akane becomes his ally. At the contrary, he finds solace in having someone who accepts him as he is.

Aqua worsens only after he finds out that his father is still alive. Akane had nothing to do with that, at the contrary, she was actively protecting him from that truth.

She's co-dependant on him—

She's a push-over that—

Akane was willing to let Aqua go to hell—

Akane didn't want Aqua to suffer, she didn't want him to go to hell. That is the entire reason why she was ready to go face Kamiki on her own.

But if Aqua chose to go there, if he were to chose that devoting himself to his revenge is what he needs to achieve piece of mind, then she would respect his choice and follow him to hell.

Just to make sure he doesn't have to suffer through it alone.

[godbirdart]

literally why would i want to poison my brain immersing myself in petty internet drama all day when i can go outside see the sun and seek out the positive activities that are actually beneficial for my mental health

[svtskneecaps]

also in terms of the bolas playlist it's fascinating to me that the songs added by each person have a slight tendency to represent a consistent aspect of bolas

like

the songs added by slime are their chaos

the songs added by philza are their rebellion

the songs added by cellbit are their rage

the songs added by baghera are their anguish

it's so fucking FASCINATING TO ME but i don't know enough music theory to elaborate lmfao this is Vibes Only

(mouse's songs i can't boil down to an easy noun which is why they aren't mentioned lmao anyway they go hard asf)

(also i went on the longest fucking unhinged elaboration in the tags lmfao i almost didn't have enough tags left to tag "long tags" at the end

(i could have even gone on longer in terms of where their characters were at entering purgatory [philza: cage for a cage; cellbit: fed worker murders; baghera: her past as a federation experiment; slime: turning into a code because of the code pretending to be his daughter] but i ran out of space and also time it's 4AM AAAAA)

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[lilithofpenandbook]

My sympathy for Snape in POA has gone a hundred times up now that my shitty grandmother is potentially going to be using our house as an inn

[hamletthedane]

I’m a big Hamlet fan and I am curious as to what your favorite movie/for screen rendition is? I’ve been working my way through a lot of them, gone through about 7, so far Hamlet at Elsinore with Christopher Plummer is my favorite. I was just curious what yours is !

What a great question!!

Hamlet at Elsinore is definitely my favorite filmed version of the play. I feel that Christopher Plummer does a fantastic - and frankly critically underappreciated - job of portraying the more nuanced and complicated aspects of Hamlet's character while still giving a straightforward performance that's highly accessible to any audience. Notably, he doesn't treat the performance as his ~*~epic, defining role of a lifetime~*~ or ~high artistic theater~ (*cough* Branagh and Jacobi), but instead focuses on telling a deeply compelling, very moving story about the complex nature of grief and revenge. I also like that this version embraces the more "postmodern" elements that exist in the written text of Hamlet: the complicity of the audience, the inevitability of the outcome, Hamlet's genre-awareness and genre-defiance, etc.

[Not to keep hating on Branagh, but in contrast: Branagh's Hamlet in particular seems to go out of its way to avoid including the more interesting proto-postmodern thematic elements of the play - at times not seeming to recognize that they're even there. He instead focuses his time and energy on inserting new cinematography-based visual themes that go nowhere and at times stand in OPPOSITION to the actual tone and themes of the original text. Because apparently Hamlet the play is too boring and instead of lame elements like "themes" and "compelling characterization," we need a swinging chandelier sword fight scenes and Freudian weirdness. Truly the Joel Schumacher Phantom of the Opera adaptation of Shakespeare films. But I DIGRESS-)

Plus it doesn't hurt that everybody aside from Plummer in Hamlet at Elsinore is also fabulous. Obviously, Michael Caine's Horatio is the single best and most definitive version of the character in film, but I also love Robert Shaw's Claudius and Muller's Ophelia.

If we're talking favorite filmed versions of the STORY of Hamlet though, that's Asta Nielsen's silent film from 1921. It's so beautifully filmed and wonderfully told. She's what I picture when I picture Hamlet.

Other than that....I like Tennant and Stewarts' RSC filmed version well enough. It has a number of very strange choices and I don't love the re-ordering of the scenes, but Tennant does a great job with the character and I think it's a very approachable performance. A few other filmed stage versions are also excellent, though with a few similarly weird elements - I'd put Maxine Peake's version on the same tier as the RSC version. I do NOT like Branagh's version at all (if you couldn't already tell...). Jacobi's and Gibson's are slightly better, but they're still too focused on the prestige of the performance rather than the actual story being told imo. I think they fall under the same criticism as Holden Caulfield's scathing review of Laurence Olivier: "more like a general than a sad, screwed-up type guy." (Yes I know this line is an in-text authorial critique of Holden himself but also: he's right and he should say it.)

If you haven't already, I do highly recommend listening to the BBC Radio 4 audiodrama version of Hamlet, starring Jamie Parker. Despite being a audio version of a stage play, it somehow blows every filmed version of Hamlet (except maybe HAE) out of the water. I listen to it at least once a year.

Finally, my actual favorite versions of Hamlet have ALWAYS been those I've seen live (or seen bootleg filmed stage performances of lmao). If it's ever playing live near you, definitely go and see it. The play was meant to be seen on a live stage in front of you, and many of the jokes and themes only make sense in that context. In my opinion, the medium of live theater elevates the play so far beyond what a movie could ever achieve.

...sorry this answer is so long 😅 Really, it doesn't matter what my opinions on Hamlet films are. If any version of the play really speaks to you - even if it's the accursed Branagh version - that is so awesome and makes me really happy people are engaging with the play in that way! (But since you're saying that HAE is your favorite so far, I will add that you have excellent, discerning taste ;))

[hjeojeo]

it's...missing smackjeeves hours..

telling myself if no one makes a good alternative for smackjeeves in the next like five years, im gonna start making one myself (only 10% serious)

i just miss like that atmosphere of 100% unmarketable, just comic sharing/making space.

where we all knew that 99% of the time the comics we see will never get finished bc ppl get busy, kids grow up and change interests ,etc. (i mention kids bc most of my memories of smackjeeves was when i was a teen, so it was a significant like developmental years as an artist kind experience for me)

like i remember most of the comics were like

barely legible sketch pages with like text written in mspaint.

there was absolutely no quality standard. and that's why it was so good

it made me as a kid feel like oh i can do comics! cause it can be WHATEVER YOU WANTED IT TO BE AND LOOK HOWEVER WAY.

and the collaborative ones on smackjeeves were so fun to look at

just overall.

having that. rough, crude, unmarketable space for art/comics was significant.

[geddy-leesbian]

just going to be bitchy on main one last time before making myself go to bed

For real idk why the fuck I'm still bothering with my high effort location/details screenshot compilation posts when I can just make lower effort posts that get SIGNIFICANTLY more notes. Like why the fuck should I even bother to spend at least a couple hours curating screenshots for part 2 of Luis's lab details which will get a maximum of 50 notes when I could just spend like 20 minutes making a few gifs like this and get HUNDREDS of notes

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on ok i belted out a brief laughingstock Scene for possible future use that i Had to write down bc if i didn't, i'd never remember it. and why not share?

~

“Barnaby? Barnaby, old chap, are you with me?” 

Barnaby blinks, registering the green fingers snapping in front of his nose. He huffs a laugh and pushes Howdy’s hand away. “Yeah, yeah, I’m listenin’. You were saying?”

Howdy gives him an exasperated look, a fond look. “Thinking about running off to a farm again, were you?”

“Nah, just the clouds. They’re a lot less work.”

“Well I’d rather you didn’t. Who would I talk to during the long hours if you went and floated off?” Howdy winks before turning to his shelves, already yammering away about something or other.

Something or other that Barnaby is once again not listening to, because what was that? Barnaby quickly presses his cool paw-pads to his burning cheeks, feeling the bristling fur there. 

Has Howdy ever winked at him? Now that he’s noticed it, Barnaby can’t recall. If it’s new, then why? Why a wink of all things? What did that mean? And that look Howdy gave him… 

Barnaby adjusts his abruptly too-tight tie. It’s unusually warm in the store, isn’t it? Howdy must have forgotten to turn on the AC. 

Gosh, what is Howdy even saying? He’s still talking, but Barnaby hasn’t absorbed a word. He can’t even tell if Howdy is still speaking english. It’s all garbled.

There’s something wrong with Barnaby. He must be coming down with something… or he’s just overthinking it. Overworking the ol’ noggin. A good long nap should set him right. 

“Listen,” Barnaby interrupts, patting the counter, “I uh, I don’t know where my head’s at. I better go find it - I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Oh… alright, then,” Howdy says, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. 

Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Barnaby slaps that thought out of the park. He doesn’t want Howdy to be disappointed, that’s absurd. That’s something a bad friend would think. Barnaby may be many things, but a bad friend isn’t one of them.

“I’ll whip up a joke that’ll knock your socks off next time I see ya,” Barnaby promises. He smiles around the discomfort and the entirely new feeling squirming around each other in his chest. 

“Now you’ve gone and brought up my expectations,” Howdy says. He leans on the counter and grins. “Are you sure you can back up such a claim, Mr. Beagle?”

Another hot flush races under Barnaby’s fur, and to his growing mortification, his tail starts wagging at breakneck speed. He lets out an uncharacteristically nervous laugh and backs away from the counter. To both of their horror, his back hits a shelf, making it rattle and tip.

“Oh, sh-” Barnaby lunges to right it before it can topple. He whips around and laughs again. Howdy’s wide-eyed stare burns. “Sorry ‘bout that! Talk about a bulldog in a bugshop, geez.”

“When you find your head, make sure to screw it on nice and tight,” Howdy says, a strange look on his face to match his tone. “And check your temperature while you’re at it - it’s not like you to be off-balance.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m off-balance,” Barnaby says. He inches towards the door, willing his stupid tail to calm down. “I just have ears instead of rearview mirrors.”

“Uh-huh…” Howdy slides to the side, trying to peer around him. 

Barnaby fumbles for the door. The scrape and bang of his search for the handle echoes in the quiet store. One of Howdy’s eyebrows creeps higher the longer Barnaby stands there, making a complete fool of himself. 

Finally, the door clicks, and Barnaby nearly tumbles over backwards in his haste to get out. He stumbles down the steps and briskly walks away, adjusting his hat and tie. As soon as he’s out of sight, he slaps his paws to his face and sags against the bodega.

“Idiot,” he hisses to himself. He presses his back flat against the wall and slams the side of his fist against it. Normally, Barnaby would use a situation like this to his advantage. But Howdy wasn’t laughing, and Barnaby wasn’t being funny. “Bulldog in a - gah, idiot!”

Great. Now Howdy thinks he’s not only a clumsy oaf, but that he’s losing his touch too.

Barnaby growls in frustration, pushing off the wall and stomping away from the plaza on all fours. What does he care what Howdy thinks of him? Others’ opinions of Barnaby have never been anywhere near his list of top priorities - barring Wally’s, of course. If they were, he'd never tell another joke again.

Yes, Howdy is a good friend of Barnaby’s. A close friend, even. But since when has he had such a - such an effect? Barnaby shakes his head, growling again. 

There was no effect. Barnaby is just going insane. Or he’s getting sick, like Howdy implied. That would explain the sudden hot flash, the loss of typically impeccable coordination, and, oh yeah! Barnaby’s brain leaking out of his ears.  

[boozles]

Something I find interesting is that I haven’t seen any backlash against Gun. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to be hassled, but it’s strange to me that Tay is the one I’m seeing being targeted. People are acting like New has been treated poorly, but no one (that I can see) has said anything about Off or Gun. All vitriol has been aimed at Tay and I don’t think that’s fair at all.

(Just so I’m clear, NO ONE should be getting hate, but I’m bitter that I am still seeing idiots comment things like “sorry I will only support New now” or “how could you do this to New” and “shame on you for lying to us” and I am so confused? No one has lied about anything?! 4 men in their 30s are comfortable enough with each other that they are affectionate with one another - why the hell is one of them getting hate for that?!)

(Also, shout out to Mek for stepping in and informing everyone that he too kisses his friends on the mouth! He said it’s something culturally normal to them, and I love him for that.)

(ALSO!!! TayNew mentioned kissing Nanon - let me see that please - and it reminded me of the hate Nonnie got for the picture she posted where she is kissing Nanon on the mouth and people attacked her for it. For kissing her big brother. Sorry if it’s weird for some, but kissing is not always sexual. I kiss my friends, my brother, my parents…cheeks and lips. It’s normal for so many of us. If you’re my pal and you’re cool with it, I will kiss you too!)

[atlas-dr0wned]

i genuinely cannot describe how much accepting im asexual has helped me feel more confident and comfortable in my preferences and needs and general identity

[thehallstara]

actually. actually. gonna get spicy for a hot sec but blaseball fans please learn antisemitic stereotypes so you stop playing into them and giving them to players you design to hate please for the love of g.d

[byanyan]

just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.

thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜