#i feel so empty inside. theres so much i wanted to do on this blog

[daryl-fucking-dixon]

theres no better way to break in a new blog then posting NSFW ABCs that absolutely nobody asked for

listen to be honest with y'all I have a crazy sex drive and if I'm in the apocalypse with DARYL DIXON, then um! you better believe I want dick 25/8 (AND BEST BELIEVE ILL GET IT)

im really doing this because its almost like I'm decluttering my brain

CREDITS CREDITS CREDITSS!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) ☆- We all know Daryl would clean you up and comfort you after sex, he's not the type to fuck and dump.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ☆- I just feel like Daryl is a major tit guy. He loves them all. Small, big, saggy, he does not care. If it can fit in his hand and his mouth then there's not a single complaint.

☆- Daryl favors his arms, and he feels like a big strong man when you latch onto his bicep.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) ☆- Like I said once, and will be saying for the rest of my life, Daryl Dixon would love to creampie you.

☆- Facials?? He wants to cum all over your face and then fuck you missionary so he can watch the way his release runs down in your mouth and on your cheeks.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ☆- Daryl Dixon's dirty little secret is that he keeps a pair of your underwear to jerk off with when he goes on long runs. (The longer you wore them for the absolute better)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) ☆- Before the world ended Daryl didn't exactly have much sex, only a few hook-ups that happened in dark alleys when he was blasted on hard drugs.

☆- Season 1-4 Daryl would be completely lost. A total clutz when he's ripping your shirt off with trembling hands and very sloppily moving his lips against yours, eager yet needy.

☆- Season 5-11 Daryl wouldn't be as clueless after getting older, taking your shirt off first before pulling you closer by the waist, kissing you slowly and much more coordinated.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

☆- Cowgirl. Ride him to your hearts content. He loves loves loves being underneath you, moaning and whimpering as you bounce on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

☆- He's too gone in pleasure to be funny or sexy

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) ☆- Daryl is definitely hairy, but not too crazy. He's got a dark happy trail leading into thick pubes that rest rest above his base.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

☆- It depends on how clingy Daryl is and how stimulated he is. He likes to wrap his arms around you and bury his face into your neck so he can mark the skin.

☆- Some nights are filled with pure lovemaking, Daryl panting needily against you as he moans in your ear.

"Love ya so fuckin' much, so glad yer mine"

"Prettiest girl I ever seen, wanna make ya feel good"

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

☆- On those nights when he goes on long runs, all by himself with nothing but the song of nature around him, his head fills with all the memories of the softness of your body, inside and out.

☆- He often finds himself holding the fabric of your underwear against his face, whimpering into them as he twist his wrist and tease his tip, thinking about how badly he wanted to be buried deep inside your warm heat.

☆- Once just isn't enough for him. He'll stroke himself completely empty to the thought of you. The sounds of his very needy moans and wet drag of his cum-coated hand overrode the sound of nature.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

☆- DARYL DIXON CERTIFIED BREEDING KINK.

☆- Daryl also has a choking kink that works both ways.

☆- He loves to grip your throat from behind and watch how your face contorts with every thrust, listening to your breathless and choked-off moans.

☆- He also loves to watch the way you bounce on his cock, steadying yourself with your hands tightly around his neck, riding him desperately for your own pleasure.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

☆- Everywhere. If he can put your back against it, he can fuck you against it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

☆- You. No matter what you do, just once long glance and Daryl goes weak in his knees, biting his lips as his cock stirs.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

☆- Don't clown me but threesome. Daryl Dixon does not like to share his woman, friend or foe. He wants no other man to lay his hands, eyes, or dick on you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

☆- We all know that Daryl loves to eat pussy. Not matter how long or how many times he's done it, he will not get tired of the taste of you on his tongue and lingering in his mouth afterwards.

☆- He also loves getting head from you. The way you swirl your tongue around his tip and suck it drives his eyes into the back of his skull, a deep groan coming from his chest. Daryl is honestly an oral lover.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

☆- A pretty good combination of both. Depending on the mood, the night starts sensually with lots of eager kisses and roaming hands, Daryl's hips sloppily and lazily thrusting into you at first.

☆- When eager kisses become slow and deep, that's when lazy thrusts become quick and controlled, his cock sliding deeper into your velvety walls. Sometimes Daryl gets so wrapped up in how good he feels, he can't help how fast his hips start to snap against you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

☆- Only if it's absolutely safe. The first quickie you two ever had was horrifically cut short by a random walker almost biting the bare flesh of Daryl's neck, mid-orgasm at that!

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

☆- He'd be iffy about a few things depending on what they are. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you in bed, but he also never wants to deny you of what you want. (I have no fucking clue what this letter means guys)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

☆- On the nights where Daryl just needs to not think, he can go for as many rounds as his body can physically handle. He can last for a while during the first round, but it's after the second and third when he starts to struggle. He needily fucks the both of you completely stupid, only being done when a harsh dry orgasm rocks his entire world, gasping and sobbing against you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

☆- When Daryl finds your vibrator hidden behind your pillow, he gets a little curious and tries it on himself, sitting on the bed and taking his cock out, stroking himself a few times before clicking the button, feeling the toy buzz to life.

☆- He bites his lip rough when he presses it to his tip, a loud, choked whimper ripping from his throat.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

☆- Daryl only teases you when you tease him. The way you not so innocently bat your lashes at him and firmly grip his bicep gets him riled up for the day and gets you in a world of trouble for the night.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

☆- Daryl is typically a quiet guy, but he can get pretty loud in bed. A lot of the times he muffles any moans or whimpers into the soft skin of your shoulder.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

☆- Talked about this with one of my mutuals but I think Daryl would be a little bit into knifeplay. Nothing major, he just finds it really hot your life is quite literally in his hands.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

☆- Daryl definitely has a curved dick. It's a good solid eight inches and he's pretty thick. Circumcised as well.

☆- There's a long vein that runs along the underside, and a few more that become more prominent when he's hard.

☆- His tip is a cherry red and quite sensitive due to nerve damage. (from said circumcise)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

☆- Daryl used to barely think about sex, especially in the apocalypse. He'd still jerk off every so often, but not really that often. Only when he had nothing else to do, or really needed to stop thinking, which meant he was gonna jerk off for quite a while.

☆- His sex drive went through the roof after he met you, he simply couldn't get enough. It had only taken a few times before he was completely addicted to your body, and craved it each time he was away. he jerks off much more and much longer now

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

☆- It depends how many times he came. Sometimes he'll literally pass out right on top of you, still inside you.

☆- Most nights however he usually has enough strength to clean you up, and crawl into bed next to you, pulling you closer to his sturdy chest with his arms securely wrapped around you.

[baejacob]

;___;

[yeoldontknow]

დ content tag game დ

tagged by the loveliest angel @augustbutwinter to do this fun tag. thank you so much my love! 

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?  - harry potter, muse, merlin, supernatural, doctor who, sherlock

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for? - kpop only

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?  - my first actual fanfic would have been when i was about 8? it was for sailor moon but it was literally only in a journal i had. i presume that counts. so that would put us at 24 years lmao - on this blog specifically, since april 2017

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?  - here and AO3

5. what is your favourite genre to write? - aaaaangst lmao and horror/suspense. i love really dark things, and have always had a fascination in writing things that disturb me? i think its from an analytical or psychological perspective, exploring the limits of humanity and processing for myself why these things make me uncomfortable/where i feel them on my body/what is fear vs disgust idk. also very much enjoy fantasy/supernatural. 

6. are you a pantser or a planner? - almost always i have a plan, however there are some fics that come out of nowhere and i just have to write them. examples of this are enough and love; always

7. one shot or multi-chapter? - i usually try very hard to keep things as a one shot, and reserve series for things that actually have substance enough to extend past 3 chapters. lately, all my ideas have been very plot heavy or come from worlds i am very interested in exploring and/or have aspects of emotion i want to work through. if i cant keep it to a one shot (like...under 30k) i will make it a series and ill be angry at myself lmao

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?  - anywhere from 5-9k is a solid, average chapter length for me. some chapters, in hero for example, need to be more than this because theyre the heavy plot chapters. i have been trying not to focus on lengths anymore, just want to write until the story is told

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?  - the longest story ive ever written is 154k in a different fandom and yes its complete. at the moment, hero is breaching 98k and i imagine it will be my longest when its completed

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?  - when it comes to series, hero and time runner will, and always will be, the most special things ive ever done. i feel at home and myself when im writing them. im in love with writing them. the ideas are so strong, and the characters are so loud and clearly defined it just is the best time making art ive ever had. - for one shots, light sakura was truly catharsis. i needed to write that. its the most personal, vulnerable thing ive ever written and will probably never produce something like that again unless theres another major event in my life. also absolutely adored writing molotov cocktail and empty vessels. those are both the easiest 30k ive ever produced

11. favourite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)  - brooklyn is burning was technically a request and im extremely partial to it

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?  - oh yeah. usually my female characters are working through bad relationships or finding their voices, seeking identity and power in worlds that dont necessarily provide that. i write what i feel and what ive lived, the worlds around the characters are just exaggerations of reality and my imagination. theres always a little piece of me in my stories, and usually that piece comes down to them learning to trust which is something i struggle with

13. current number of wips?  - please i cannot share this number, not when im ashamed of the amount lmao

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing? 1. smut is insanely hard for me 2. fluff is almost impossible, and could be considered my weakness. happiness is an external feeling, an outward experience. im a very bodied writer and finding joy or finding small bits of romance is difficult (largely because i live alone) so i will over explain aspects of the idol character or highlight small actions in the effort of holding onto them 3. i am still learning to trust the process

15. a quote you like from a published story.

‘Don’t confuse loyalty with strength,’ you say, as he releases you. You remain still, forehead pressing against the bars to get as close to him as possible. ‘I have no allegiance to you. My silence is not owed to you.’

‘Really?’ he says with disdain. ‘It was given so freely the last two days.’

‘Your ignorance proves you have never truly known a woman,’ you taunt. ‘We are always at war, even if we are silent.’

- from: hero - chapter 3

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

Would it have been easier for you both to survive if you could be a needy, fragile little thing - not ready to die, not ready to leave him on his own?

The night before, Chanyeol held you close, kissed you until your throat felt raw, and made you realize he didn’t want it, didn’t need it. He loved the war in you, handled you like a blade between his fingers, skin unmarred by your sharp edges. He didn’t want it, but you wanted it, at least a little. You wanted him to know there were still traces inside you of the girl you lost.

from: time runner - chapter 7

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

hello beautiful loves. every moment you even click on one of my works an angel gets its wings <3

tagging: @yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @yoonia @kithtaehyung @inkedtae @kookdiaries @kookingtae @xiaokoo @sunshinekims @biaswreckingfics @ditzymax @sugaurora @bangtanhome @yeojaa @sahmfanficbts @xjoonchildx @writtenwhalien @jinpanman @cutechim and anyone else who would like to do this <3 as always please only do so if comfy! 

[lovieebby]

dreaded corner

a/n: i know this isn’t the oneshot/fic i promised but here’s something i whipped up! i thought since i’ve imagined for a hot minute that id just spit it out. thank you @viking-raider for rereading this for me 😂 ily & also i apologize again bc im posting this thru my phone so im sorry if the formats funky!!

summary: you thought you could be a big girl, instead its sassy and rude and daddy is fed tf up.

word count: 2.2k (wowza)

pairing: henry cavill x reader (y/n)

warnings: um henry himself? implyed smut, sub!reader, daddy henry is fed up, description of readers pussee, i made a bad pun, that cursed blue tank top

tag list: @hell1129-blog 😘

you and henry have been dating for some time now and your sex life was off the charts, but about six months ago you both had started dabbling in the bdsm dynamics as a couple. henry already knew what he was doing, you, not so much. you had an idea but you never really completely understood how to be a submissive, you where naturally that way in the bedroom but anywhere else outside of that felt off to you and plus you never had a dom that was as strict and as serious in this lifestyle as henry, your past partners just in it for the hype of the kinky sex.

you loved being his submissive but it was hard at first, you had always looked out for yourself and so it became a habit to take things into your own control and set up walls. but after time and love henry slowly took down those walls and you where able to trust him with your whole being. after a while, you really loved being taken care of and being able to hand the control over to someone else, it feeling like you could finally breathe.

you felt like you where a genuine good submissive, theres never really a right or wrong way either, henry had told you, easing your mind when you had gotten concerned. most days you listened, wanting to please him and get praised for it. you lived to be a good girl for him, but some days where more rough than normal. some days you just wanted to be independent and in charge of yourself, doing what you please, and more often than not, henry caught on to it fast and put you back into your place.

you stood in the kitchen, standing by the fridge trying to figure out what to drink. you rubbed your ass, stinging still from the spankings you got earlier. ten hard swats on each cheek and you didn’t get to orgasm once the first punishment was over, no orgasm was your second punishment.

bummer.

henry sat in the living room, on his laptop replying to an email. he wore his blue tank top with his sweat pants, feet perched up on the ottoman. he had started an email once he had given you the much needed aftercare and reassurance. you both had cleaned up taking a shower together and getting into your lazy day clothes.

henry heard the fridge being closed roughly and the shelves within it shaking. he had talked about this with you time and time again, you used to do it at your own home, but now you two lived together, so that meant respecting your surroundings. what was so hard about that?

“don’t slam it, please.” he had said, making eye contact with you when you spun around to look at him.

“i didn’t! it was the suction from the door!” you explained, getting a little snappy with him, not wanting to get caught that you did, in fact, do it again. you turned around, not wanting to be called out, and made yourself busy looking in another cabinet for something to snack on.

henry looked at you questionably that quickly turned into a stern disapproving glare, “don’t talk back to me,” he sighed out, turning back to his email. he thought your attitude dissolved, clearly it just doubled.

“i’m not, im just defending myself,” you sassed out quietly, making a mocking face while you searched in the cabnet.

“excuse me?” his voice boomed out. he pressed hard on the send button, sending the email, he didn’t bother double checking if everything was typed out correctly. henry moved the laptop over to the empty seat. he crossed his arms, frowning at you, surprised at your returned attitude.

“did you fart?” you sassed again, closing the cabinets, you spun around and crossed your arms. coping him while leaning on the counter arching your eyebrow, biting the inside of your cheek.

bad move, bad move (y/n).

henry was baffled, you just got done with a punishment not even an hour ago. he had beaten your ass pretty well, and he rarely had to do that. he thought if you wanted a challenge, you would quickly lose. he stood up from the couch, and slowly walked to you, once he got the the kitchen island he put his hands down, spreading his fingers out. he towered over you even if it was a couple feet away, his eyes piercing into you, daring you to continue your attitude.

he’s never had to punish you multiple times in one day, but if it was needed, he was going to.

“little girl,” he started, his voice dropping an octave, “drop the attitude, i won’t tell you again.”

“fine.” you snapped, you where definitely not going to. “but i didn’t slam the door.”

“(y/n), i don’t care,” he punctuated each word, leaning forward.

“i didn’t though! i’m not lying!” you threw your hands down, almost stomping your foot on the floor.

you where acting out, you knew he was getting back in his dominant role, but you where serious too! you didn’t want to be dominated at the moment. you didn’t want to say your safe word, it wasn’t needed, you were just being a brat. you just wanted to be you for two seconds, not henry’s baby, you felt big.

“alright, get over here.” he stood up straight, walking away from the counter, clinching his jaw. he was fed up, you had no reason to act this way and he was quickly going to put you in your place.

you suddenly realized that you became a big mean brat more than a big girl, now you wanted the floor to eat you whole, like right now. utterly embarrassed that you thought you where so confident about yourself and your actions. you didn’t want to move, frozen under his glare, you where already thinking of what he was going to do, and you where praying he wasn’t going to swat your ass again, his spanks weren’t light and your ass was as rosey as ever.

“move it missy,” he said, snapping his finger down in front of him where he wanted you, “now.”

you slowly moved to him, your confidence completely leaving your body as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. you stood in front of him, not making eye contact, his eyes too intimidating. if you looked at him, you’d beg for forgiveness, but at the moment you where still trying to hold on to a useless lie.

henry breathed in deep and let it out slow through his nose, he knows its hard for you sometimes to comply and completely listen but you both agreed to the rules henry had set. he let you stand there, making you think. it also gave him a moment to calm down, he didn’t want to just lash out and show his frustration, but he still wants you to know who’s the boss.

he honestly just wanted to sit down with you and junk out after getting his business done, but clearly he needed to punish you again because apparently you didn’t get the memo the first time.

“we agreed on the rules, did we not?” he questioned you, crossing his arms. he looked out at you, you looked anywhere but him.

you nodded your head, agreeing with him.

“oh, now you have nothing to say?” he taunted, ticking his jaw. “you had so much to say earlier.”

“we did.” you whispered, looking down at your fidgeting hands.

“look at me when i’m talking to you,” henry gripped your chin, tilting your face up to him. you whimpered dropping your hands to your side, his grip making your bottom lip jut out.

“if you don’t agree with the rules, you know what to say, if not, shut it,” he sternly watched you, waiting for you to say something, putting a little more pressure into his grip, shaking your face a bit, waiting for you to say the word. when you didn’t, he continued, “now i don’t know what got into you, to think you can speak to me like that, but that needs to end. quit your shit and stand in the corner, hands behind your back.”

you frowned, opening your mouth in disbelief, now you where upset all over again, the submission leaving your body. you’ve been put in time out a couple times but right now you weren’t feeling it, this is dumb!

“like a kid?!” you loudly questioned.

“yes! because you’re acting like one!” he let go of your face and with one hand he pushed you to the corner by the breakfast table with his other, he pointed to the known corner.

you picked up your feet and scoffed, this was unfair, you weren’t a child! you clinched your jaw when you got the corner, so frustrated you screamed in your mouth.

once henry heard you whining and carrying on he walked up behind you and smacked you ass, harder than he intended but it worked, he needed to make a point. you gasped and jolted forwards, bracing your hands on the wall, your ass was still tinder. he stood behind you, putting his hands up on the wall caging you in. he put his mouth right next to your ear.

“you did this to yourself, so take your punishment like a big girl and shut up. i don’t want to hear you.” he said, leaning into you, making himself known, “you don’t run shit here missy, and i’m here to remind you of that.”

he pushed off the wall, backing up from you and smacked your stinging ass again, giving a warning. you held your whine in and closed your eyes tight.

he turned around and stood by the counter, he looked down at his watch and set a timer for twenty minutes, he could probably get some small chores done, so he could waste time waiting on you. he didn’t want to stand there and watch you because you’d notice and probably say something and he just didn’t want to hear it. you where always so good, but when you got bratty and sassy, he nipped that shit quick, not wanting it to happen again. as he was leaving the room and gave kal a quick pat to follow him, he doesn’t need you petting him while you’re in your corner.

you were embarrassed to say the least, you were in a corner with your hands behind you, flustered in an uncomfortable wetness from your arousal. henry made you flustered on any given day but when he became daddy, it was so much more worse. you where still soaked from the first spanking and from the rough sex you just had earlier.

you moved side to side discretely, you only wore an over sized cotton tee with your soft sleep shorts with no panties, not wanting any extra material on your bum, the shorts already a little scratchy on your bruised cheeks.

regretting your attitude, you wanted to apologize, but you knew if you spoke up, you would get reprimanded from henry. so you stood there, trying to pass the time by trying to find shapes on the textured wall.

after some time you noticed you haven’t heard henry, you perked up and peeked over your shoulder, you didn’t see henry anywhere not even kal. usually if you tapped the wall kal would come over and you could at least have some type of company. you tapped the wall a couple times, but no response from the pup. you turned back around to the corner, trying to patently wait, wanting to be good for your daddy.

what felt like hours, you finally heard henry come back into the kitchen, pulling a chair out from the breakfast table and assuming, sitting down in said chair. you wanted to apologize so bad, you weren’t ever bad like this before, you felt terrible for being snappy and bratty at him. but you stayed and waited for him to tell you, you could come out.

“come here baby,” he said, patting his thigh.

you looked over your shoulder, shrinking into yourself a little apprehensive about moving, “you sure daddy?” you softly asked, you didn’t even know if you wanted to leave the corner, you where rude.

he chuckled softly, he patted his thigh again, “yes i’m sure baby, come on.”

you turned around and stood between his legs, you put your left hand over your shoulder, messing with the hem of your tee shirt. “i’m sorry daddy, i was rude and i really did close the fridge hard.” you said as you rose your head to look at him.

“i know, you don’t lie very well,” he smirked, rubbing the back of your thigh, loving the feeling of your warm skin. “you know why you went into your corner, right?”

you breathed in, sighing, “because i got snappy with you,” you said, henry blinked and gave you a knowing look, waiting for you to continue, “and that i lied.” you quickly said the rest.

he hummed, nodding his head, “good job baby, you did good.” he squeezed your thigh, as you relaxed and put both of your hands on his thighs leaning into him.

you smiled sheepishly and leaned all the way down to give him a kiss. when henry kissed back, he put his other hand on the back of your head, softly intertwining his fingers to massage your scalp.

he pulled back, looking at you intently, “don’t lie again, i like having my good baby.” you nodded your head and gave gave him another kiss.

a/n: thank you guys for reading, feedback is always nice so dont be afraid to say something 🥰

[spinster-sisters]

Sunflower. Final LTY

warnings: smut and general sexy times, also cheating so theres that

a.n: Hey guys this took 2 days to write but i will say after finishing this that consent is sexy

also this is longer than i intended

ALSO IVE SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN THIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS FUCKED AND NOT AN EXAMPLE OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

REPOST FROM MY OLD BLOG

You are sitting on the corner of a couch in a dark hazy room, you held your knees to your chest and your head lulled onto the back of the couch.  There was music floating gently in and out of your ears, you couldn’t make out the lyrics over the soft hum of chatter in the room but you are much too drunk to care. Your body seemed too heavy to move, but once again, you didn’t mind at all. You shifted your eyes slowly around the room observing the human-shaped masses moving about the apartment or slumped into chairs like you. Normally you would feel anxious to be this vulnerable in a room this crowded, but not now. This wasn’t a “party” exactly, more of a throwback that escalated more than anyone thought it would, but still, there was nobody here who you wouldn’t call a friend. Of course, that includes him. You had always hung around in similar circles so it wasn’t surprising that he was here. But It left a sour taste in your mouth to think of the last time you came face to face.

“Fuckkkkk,” groaning you finally forced your body into a more upright position. Your body was protesting madly as the weight of gravity seemed about 10 times more powerful than average. There was a dull ache in your back as a result of the position you previously lay in so you hunched your back forward to try and work out the knots. Your eyelids were just as heavy as your head as you lifted them to scan the room more severely once more. Who were you looking for? you could have sworn that just a few seconds ago you were looking for someone. But none of the figures in front of you seemed to be what you wanted.

You didn’t have time to continue this train of thought before the fuzz in your brain lulled you back onto the couch once more. Your eyes remained open, drifting in and out of focus in one spot on the opposite side of the room. It wasn’t until one of the figures began moving your way could they seem to take in an image. Who was this guy? your drunk brain asked itself. “I think I know him,” you thought as a small pout of concentration crossed your face as the man got closer and closer. It wasn’t until he was standing directly in front of you, smiling at your clearly amusing look of confusion, that you were finally able to place his face. The pout was swapped for a drunken smile.

“Jaehyuuun!” you called slurring the final syllable of his name lifting your arms into the air. Gravity brought your arms crashing back down onto the couch beside you and you were about to push off the couch in an effort to stand up before Jaehyun placed a gentle hand on your shoulder pushing you back down.

“Don’t try,” His smile widened, “You’re just going to fall over"

You only half registered his words and were repeating them over and over in your brain trying to make some sense of them.

"you’re going to…You’re going-…You’re going tooooooo….” your mind trailed off once again

During this time Jaehyun took it upon himself to sit down next to you. The dip in the sofa through your balance through a loop and you almost toppled onto the floor again, saved only by the wild flailing of your arms in the process. As you resituated your self cross-legged on the couch facing the man, all thoughts once again seemed to leave your head once again. Your mouth hung open the slightest bit trying to regain the thoughts that occupied your head moments ago. You raked your eyes up and down the smiling man grasping at straws of thought, and for the first time, you noticed the glass situated in his left hand.  He pushed the glass twords you.

“Here I think you’ll need this to get home tonight” The kind smile still not leaving his somewhat blurry face. It was only after his words did you realize how thirsty you were and how dry your lips are. you practically lunged for the drink, grabbing it with both hands to steady yourself and taking large gulps. The water was cool and gave some relief to your spinning head as you sat back, letting the half-full glass rest lazily on your leg. Your eyes filtered around the room once again before they came to rest on him as they always seemed to do.

“Taeyong,” seemed to be the only thought your brain could hold onto at the moment.

Even in the dark and smokey room, he glowed. There was a thin sheen of sweet on his body (It was very hot in the room) but to what would have been a surprise had your drunk brain realized it, he looked remarkably sober. Your eyes drifted in and out of focus once again vaguely in the direction of him.

Jaehyun turned to follow your gaze. When he saw the target his dimples pushed themselves forward into a smile before he shook his head and turned back to you, giving your dazed face a once over then pushing himself off the couch.

You noticed his actions for the first time after this sudden movement and adjusted your head to look up at him, frowning once again. An arm (Which turned out to be yours) lifted to grasp onto the man’s arm.

“Where?” was the only thing you could slur out at the moment.

“Just to walk around” He reasoned politely with your now drooping form. His words sounded distant and foggy, but you understood them none the less and nodded exaggeratedly before releasing your grip on his forearm.

Jaehyun turned to leave, leaving you in a similar position to before he arrived. The glass that he handed you was now empty and rolling smoothly from your hand onto the carpeted floor where it landed with a soft clunk.

You sat there for what seemed like hours but was likely only a few minutes. The shapes around you moved gently as the moments ticked by. Every breath you took seemed to hum in your whole body just as slow as the minuted ticked by. Your eyes slowly shut once again, mind trailing to and from the sounds of the people, and your breathing became heavier and heavier.

“hmm” your brain though.

“I’m sleeeeeepy” you drawl in your head.

Just as your mind was about to drift into something like sleep, your body was shifted once again by the couch dipping beside you. There was a buzzing in the front of your head as your eyes forced themselves open once again.

This time you had no problem focusing on the person before you, and the sour taste you felt earlier returned as well as your pout. It was Taeyong. He was looking at you with a scrutinizing gaze. Your face blushed as the heat began building in your body, as it always did when he looked at your for too long or too hard. Taeyongs eyebrow raised slightly at your expression. He reached out a hand. His warm palm landed on your already burning cheek. Your mind was swirling once again as if you took two more shots. It continued to swirl with indistinguishable thoughts as his mouth moved to form words. It took your brain several moments to realize he was speaking to you and you only caught the tail end of his sentence.

“-doing, baby?"

Confusion spread through your features once again, making it clear you had not understood his words. Taeyong didn’t seem to mind that as he didn’t repeat his words, only allowing his hand to fall to your jean-clad knee which was still cross-legged in front of you on the couch. Its heat radiated from the spot just as it did when it was on your face. Taeyong scooched closer to you and shifted his hand to the underside of your knee to extend the leg over his lap. Your body responded without your mind by heaving the other leg to rest over him as well.

His eyes shifted forward to face the room as his fingers began swirling figure eights over your leg. His touch was soothing the furrow on your brow as you relaxed slowly from his touch, your body sinking lower and lower into the couch.

The water Jaehyun gave you earlier seemed to be allowing glimpses of clarity in your head as for the first time you realized how late it must be getting. You were beginning to lull back into your drowsy state, with the added comfort of the soft touch on your leg. But it seemed Taeyong had different plans. However slow your mind was at the moment it took you no time at all to recognize the feeling of his hand sliding up your leg. You watched the hands journey and instinctively squeezed your legs together as his hand drifted up your body leaving a buzzing trail all the way. It came to rest at the top of your thigh, where your hip met the base of your leg. Your eyes finally snapped to his own where they still looked out into the somewhat crowded room. One finger tapped on the spot, wordlessly commanding you to allow him access to your core should he so desire.

Taeyong seemed to be toying with the idea of acting farther by rubbing his hand slowly from the outside of your leg to the inside of your thigh, one finger brushing repeatedly against the seam of your jeans that ran along your hot core, which twitched every time he did so. It was clear that he could feel the reaction your body gave him, and the smirk that made its way onto his lips was evidence enough. Taeyong, though he regularly asserted his "ownership” over you by leaving dark unmistakable marks on your neck and chest and bruises on your hips from his tight grip, was usually strongly against even sitting next to you in public, much less shove his hand down your pants. The tiny sober part of your brain spoke in a quiet voice in your head.

“Do you want Taeyong to finger you in front of all your friends?” Your mind went back and forth between the two options as his hand sank lower, coming to rest securely between your now slightly pulsing heated and your thigh, rubbing his pinky slightly up and down creating friction so close to where your body wanted it. He was waiting. Waiting for you to inevitably say or do something that would allow him to continue, solidifying that he had you in his grasp once again.

It was clear the turmoil in your head was causing you a lot of distress. It was clear he made up his mind about wanting this, to do whatever he was going to do here and now. But you were still on the fence, you would normally follow his lead no questions asked and a good part of you wanted to see where this was going. But nevertheless, the sober part of your brain seemed to be growing louder and louder with each passing second, playing his last words to you over and over in your head. How many of them were true? all if it? None of it? Which did you prefer? your head swam with there questions, going back and forth to many times to count.

Finally, it was clear to you which side had won. You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. The room had finally come completely into focus, all of the noise and chatter returned to your ears. Pushing your self up with your hands you swung your legs away from him. The spot where his hand had been felt stingingly empty, but with your head now clear the only thought that occupied your head now was those moments a few nights before.

“you know what the best part is? It will fucking stay that way, cuz I know that right now you are just eating up all the attention I am giving you aren’t you, you pathetic bitch!”

You heard the small noise of surprise that escaped him as you pushed your self away from the couch. Taking the room with a new stride your located your target and moved to meet them. Jaehyun stood with a few friends talking causally. He turned to look at you when you reached the small pack where the conversation came to a pause.

“Hey, I understand if you don’t want to but I think I had a bit too much to drink and I don’t think I should go home alone, would you take me?” You asked with a plastered smile on your face. This honestly wasn’t true, you felt more awake and aware at this moment than you had in years, but walking around alone at night didn’t sound like fun. You know Jaehyun thought he was being subtle when his eyes flicked over to the man still sat on the couch, but you caught it none the less. They flicked back to you, gave you a once over, and then he smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, sure. I was going to leave anyway.” He spoke in his usual powerful yet soft voice. You had a feeling this was a lie but now was not the time.

Jaehyun was the first to move, taking a step forward, placing a hand on your lower back as he passed, and lead you through the hazy room to the exit. The two of you maneuvered through the room and around furniture before landing at the front door. Jaehyun reached out and opened the door, wide enough for the both of you to step through. In those moments that the door closed behind you, you braved one last look at Taeyong who still sat dumbfounded on the couch.

“Not so pathetic now am I,” You thought triumphantly as the door clicked shut.

———–

That night that Jaehyun walked you home, would turn into many. And as the school year drew to a close and graduation approached you found yourself in a new relationship. The first stable one you have had since high school. Jaehyun, who was once best friends with Taeyong, seemed to have no problem leaving that part of your lives behind and neither did your friends. They all saw Jaehyun as a massive improvement in both temper and manner, and you had to say you agree. You still saw Taeyong from time to time, it’s not as if you didn’t still have many friends in common, but they were rarely extended longer than a quick glance in each other’s direction. It would be a lie to say that a part of you didn’t want to run to him, but then in those moments, Jaehyun would appear in your apartment carrying take out a rented movie and those thoughts would leave as quickly as they came.

Jaehyun was just better for you, his kisses were sweeter and his eyes kinder. Enough so that on the day of your graduation it was him that earned a hardy handshake from your father and a kiss on the cheek from your mother. At that point, you had only been dating him for a few months, but he seemed perfectly content appeasing your parent’s dreams for an ideal son in law.

And that was 4 years ago. You and Jaehyun had moved to New York not long after the end of your time in college, both of you only briefly spending the summer with your parents and saying your last goodbyes to your childhood homes. You don’t know why you choose to stay with Jaehyun during this time, but it leads you to your perfectly content life you have here today. You are now 26, engaged to the man who took you home those years ago, living in a decently sized apartment in a nice neighborhood, with a good job you have held for the past 2 years, and everything in your life was perfectly content.

Jaehyun had proposed earlier that year at the restaurant you went on your first night in New York, and though no plans have been made as of yet it has not stopped your mother from absolutely gushing over the two of you calling constantly to check up on “any possible new developments” As it happens, your parents love Jaehyun just as much as the day they met him face to face. Your heart warmed when you thought of your life, a wonderful man, a good job and a promising future in both. Job is best summarized as a traveling salesman for a larger company in the city. You spent the majority of your time at the office, making calls and setting up meetings with clients, but about 2 weekends a month you would fly out to a different part of the world to meet up with your clients and make sales. It really was the perfect job for you, as it rarely ever went wrong.

Accept for today, however. You had missed your initial arranged flight in business class and had to pay out of pocket to reach your destination in the least comfortable and most noisy part of the plane, and as your flight was to pairs, it wasn’t exactly a short ride. After arriving, very jetlagged and in need of a nice bed, your luggage was lost at the airport and you had to stay well into the night trying to find your things. After finally giving up on the search you made your way to the hotel, only to find that this particular hotel did not allow guests t check-in past 11 pm. (A stupid rule honestly) and you would have to wait till morning. With your phone on its last few percentages, and stranded in a foreign city you staggard your way into a small cramped bar at the end of a street, planning on finding a place to charge your phone enough to find a cheap motel for the night.

Your bones cracked as you landed yourself in a barstool and the end of the bar. the only things you had with you were the items in your carry on and a note from the front desk of the hotel on when to arrive the next morning to check-in. The cushion of the seat was soft and plushy but it did nothing to soothe the aching in your body. You cant speak french, so when the bartender approached you, you only gestured vaguely to the now-dead phone in your hands. It seems the round looking old man understood as pointed to an outlet at the end of the bar.

All of the stools around you were empty, so you felt comfortable enough to put your bag down to plug in your phone. It was after you saw your phone flash a blue blinking light did you allow yourself to relax onto the bar.  Yours propped your head up with your hand to look around the room. It was nice enough, seemed clean and no one looked suspicious. But despite these things you could help but feel restless. You continued to shift in your seat and glance around the room.

Soon the tinkling of the bell that signified the arrival of a new customer sounded. You looked up at the sound, but the figure who entered could not be seen through the small crowd of older men sitting by the door.  Your eyes drooped slightly and closed, finally feeling the weight of the day. A few seconds passed before a hand landed on yours.

Your eyes flung open as you yanked your hand away. After the initial shock, you looked to where your hand once lay, where the new one still sat waiting. The hand was eerily familiar.

No, there was no way.

Your eyes quickly followed the slope of the arm, up to the face that only visited you in your most private thoughts.

Taeyong stood before you.

He kept his eyes on your own as he lowered himself onto the stool next to you. His eyes bore into you, in the same way, they had before, and with the same intensity, they never seemed to shed. You still sat rigid in your seat, mouth hanging open slightly in surprise. Your eyes broke the stare when the flicked over to your phone that was still charging on the wooden bar. Your first reaction was to call Jaehyun, but your brain stopped itself before making the move. He would be asleep anyway. You looked back to Taeyong and allowed yourself to really see him for the first time.

It was his smell that hit you first and filled the air around you, and it clouded your other senses just as it always had done. He wasn’t the tallest man in the world, yet his commanding presence allowed him to loom over everyone no matter their height. It briefly occurred to you that you could just get up and leave, but it was this same domineering energy that enticed you to stay rooted in your seat. He was dressed nice, in a crisp button-down and slacks, and his hair was styled neatly to the side allowing his whole face to be visible in the dim lighting of the bar. And he glowed just as radiantly as always.

Whatever intensity that you were using to study his face, he was returning to you with equal vigor as his eyes raked down your figure several times.

Finally, he was the first to speak.

“How are you” he spoke, much more casually than the situation required. He turned to face the bartender and waved him down.

“Umm, Ok?” You forced out much too long after he asked the question.

“Good, good. I'mdoing well myself."

Taeyongs voice sounded like you were old friends catching up at a weekly brunch, and quite frankly it pissed you off. Who was he to sit down and act like you hadn’t seen him in years or that the memories were good ones?  You turned in your seat to face him with your whole body, one hand still plastered on the hardwood. You sat up a bit straighter.

"Wait a minute, hold on- what exactly are you doing?-” The words built-in force and volume as you continued. Taeyong, who never had any trouble reading you, placed a feather-light hand on your once again. Your hand twitched in response but did not pull away. You could feel the familiar heat he gave you start to burn in the places where his hand made contact. And yes, he succeeded in quieting you.

The bartender approached, spoke a few words in french to Taeyong, and to your great surprise Taeyong responded in french as well. Though you don’t know exactly what was said, it was easy to guess as the older man moved to begin making whatever Taeyong had ordered. He now turned his attention back to you and raised an eyebrow, encouraging you to continue.

And after a moment you followed the instruction. You took a deep breath and spoke,

“How are you here right now?” seemed to be the best way to phrase your confusion.

“I live here now,” He said plainly, as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“How?” was what you went with next.

“Well, after graduation I got an internship at a global bank. After 3 years, they needed someone in Paris, so I came. And here I have been for the past year.” once again far too casual for your liking. you thought of asking what he was doing in this particular bar on this particular night before it occurred to you that bankers often worked strange hours.

“So you have been living in Paris for a year? And I am just now hearing about this?"

"Did you want to know?"

His words were heavy. Much heavier than their initial meaning, and he looked at you with a kind of genuine curiosity you had never seen in him before. The honest answer was kind of. At the beginning of your time in New York, you would often find your self wondering what became of Taeyong. You still spoke to many of the old friends you made in college and had subtly expressed this interest to those closest to you. You almost expected them to tell you if anything big happened to the man. Nevertheless, you shook your head no.

He gave you a look that simply said "You can’t lie to me” but he didn’t push the subject any further.

“So what have you been doing?” He asked back in his casual tone, taking a sip of one of the drinks the bartender had just places in front of the two of you. You were in no way here to get drunk but decided to sip on the drink nevertheless.  You stared straight forward, placing both hands on the bar as you responded.

“Um, working mostly. Here on business, you know?” You tried speaking in the same casual tone, but it sounded much to forced to be genuine.

“Right,” He responded. It sounded somewhat distracted. Out of curiosity you looked back at him and found him staring intently at your left hand, or at the ring would be a better way to put it. You don’t know why but you felt slightly embarrassed. You flushed a little and shifted your hand away from his gaze.  He seemed to finally realize he was staring and looked up to meet your eyes.

“So you are-"

"engaged, yeah”  It felt extremely wrong to let him say that word, so you beat him to it. He arches an eyebrow inquisitively and asked.

“To?”

You didn’t want to admit it. Your life in New York seemed so far away right now and the last thing you wanted was for Taeyong to be aware of it. Your head dropped to stare at the wood grain as you responded.

“Uhh, Jaehyun” You didn’t know what to expect from his reaction, so you spoke hesitantly and barely above a whisper.

“Ah”

There was a flash of something dark in his eyes, and for a second he looked much more like the man you knew back in college. But he did not seem to want to speak about it anymore. Instead, he took another deeper drink, and you followed suit. The two of you sat in a tension-filled silence for several minutes. The hum of noise from the bar patrons was not enough to drown off the thoughts racing through your head. You glanced up at Taeyong for a moment. He looked deep in thought, and it was this that made you noticed how different he was. He looked fuller, his eyes and cheeks looked less sunken in and his body a tad bit more toned than he was before, and most of all his glow was different. Before it was a red haze that made your heart race, and now it was a golden glow that stoped all thoughts. These differences would have been indistinguishable to the untrained eye, but you, who had spent so long gushing over every inch of him could spot them clear as day. You probably knew his face better then he knew it himself.

It was here that it occurred to you that you were likely a bit different as well, in what ways you did not know, but you had a suspicion he could point them out. Taeyong moved to speak and was only able to get the first few words out.

“Look, I-” The tone of his voice was enough to tell you what he was going to say, and it was too unlike him for your liking

“Taeyong please don’t apologize” You could explain why but you wanted those memories of him to be intact, and if he apologized it would change the way you saw those moments together. He looked taken aback but pressed on.

“I just want you to know, that you meant more to me back then than you will probably ever know.” He took another drink and looked straight ahead. You found this to be a hard revelation to follow.

“Funny way of showing it” you murmured more to yourself than to him. But he heard you nonetheless and followed up his previous words.

“I am aware that I was awful, and you won’t catch me making excuses for the way I acted. I was selfish and cruel to everyone in my life. I always wanted more than I had, even if I couldn’t stand the idea of losing something. I guess the best way to put it is that I wanted you to need me but I didn’t want to need you.”

His words were genuine, that you could tell. But you didn’t know if they made you feel any better. All they seemed to do was prove that you weren’t enough for him. This seemed to show on your face, and Taeyong was oh so good and reading you. He did not speak, he just reached out and grabbed your hand tightly. His warm fingers burned in comparison to the cold metal of your ring. But you could only seem to focus on the heat. His hand firmly grounded you in your place when your head felt like you were going to float away.

After a few more moments he lifted his hand just enough to gently circle his fingers over the back of your hand. The action felt so familiar. He always had a habit of “Petting” your, whether it is your hand or your face. You suppose this just proves he isn’t that different from back then after all. The things he did that made your heart ache for him remained the same.

His hand began ghosting it was up your arm, leaving a gentle buzz wherever he touched. Your heart fluttered, which it hasn’t done in a long time. Fuck. Why is it that he still had this power over you, even when he wasn’t trying. It wasn’t fair. You had always known that he would always have a place in your heart. But you never knew how large of a part it was until his hand moved onto your back rubbing it in circles. You leaned into his touch.

With his other hand, he finished the rest of his drink.

“Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep?” He asked, finally addressing how late it was.

“My hotel won’t let me check-in.” You replied distantly feeling the tickle of his hand. He looked conflicted for a moment then spoke.

“You can stay at my apartment for the night if you would like.”

You both knew what would happen if you said yes. There was no way it wouldn’t. You thought of Jaehyun, and how good he had been to you, and how he would feel if he knew that you had even seen Taeyong. You mulled it over for several minutes. But the soothing hand on your back somehow pushed all thoughts of your fiance from your mind.

Finally, you took one last swig from your drink.

“I would like that."

——-

it did not take long after that. Taeyong paid for the drinks, insisting after you pulled out your wallet. The two of you exited the bar, hand in hand which felt a tab bit too natural.

When you arrived in the apartment (a verrry nice apartment) there was very little pretending. You removed your shoes as he had done and waited for his command. At this point, you had submitted to the idea of needing him. He just filled you with a desire that no one else could. Taeyong reattached your hands and lead you over his shoulder, through the dark rooms. Every step forward left you with more and more anticipation, you needed this so much.

The door to his bedroom was pushed open. It was large and elegant. Beautiful furnishing and a soft glow emanated from the lamp next to his bed.  But you weren’t paying much attention to the room, instead, you were watching him. From the view of his back, you could tell just how much he wanted this too. He released your hand and continued to walk forward, rolling his shoulders as he did so. He is so beautiful, even when you couldn’t see his face. you felt a magnetic pull to him, leading your next actions. Taeyong moved onto his bed, he situated himself on in the middle, his back resting on the headboard. He looked at you so intently, so expectantly, as though he could see right through your clothes. Which, you had to remind yourself, he had seen you completely bare before, many times.

"Will you strip for me, baby?” He phrased it like a question, though there was no doubt you would do it. The only nickname was enough to bring your to your knees, but you stayed standing. He didn’t tell you to kneel. The first layer to come off was your sweater, which concealed the thin shirt you had on underneath. Next was the shirt itself which you did not hesitate to pull over your head.  You suddenly thought of the tattoo on your ribs, the one that had angered him so much before. Your breath hitched, not wanting him to leave you again. But he showed no sign of anger. Instead, his desire only grew in his eyes.

The bra you chose for the day was nothing special, just a plain pink color, but he looked at you like you are the only thing in the world. His eyes were hungry and needy, willing you to move faster. But his actions did not betray his composure, but you could see the outline of his dick starting to strain itself against his slacks. And if your brain was functioning properly you would have noticed how your mouth watered.  

“keep going Baby, its been so long since I’ve seen your body.” He cooed at you.

You unbuckled your pants and slid them down your legs and stepped out of them. You were dangerously close to throwing yourself at him but more than anything you wanted to obey. You unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor. Your naked chest was now bare. The cold air nipped at your skin, causing your nipples to harden. You blushed a little dusting of pink, that only burned brighter at his next words.

“I wanna see your pussy baby” He remained, growing somewhat impatient. The words caused heat to flood to your core making it wetter and stickier than before. You hooked your finger into the waistband of your panties and pulled them down. His smirk grew into a wild smile and the sight of arousal glistening on your heat.  Taeyong used his finger to motion you onto the bed and you followed quickly. Your body was burning with both slight embarrassment and desire, but with your ruined panties still hanging from your finger you clambered onto the bed. You kneeled in front of his relaxed fully dressed figure. And though he was situated below you, you felt so small as his eyes raked up and down your body. His wicked smile never left his face as he reached out and took the soaked pink panties from your hand. He held them tightly in his hand and motioned you to straddle his waist. Which you did obediently. Your pussy was now resting directly on the tent in his slacks dampening the fabric. He groaned out slightly at the feeling.

“Your so wet Baby, your dripping on me. Who made you this wet baby.” He spoke in a coddling voice, as his hands came to rest on your naked hips, swirling from there down to your ass, giving it a tight squeeze before trailing back to their original position, never letting go of your panties. You squeaked in response to the invading touch.

“Baby, that’s not an answer”

“It’s you,” you said in a small voice.

“Speak up baby, I can hear you” He teased. Rolling his sinful hips into yours. The rough surface of his pants rubbed against your clit and you nearly choked.

“It’s you Taeyong” you spoke with a little more force. This seemed to appease him.

“That’s right, me, not anyone else.” He spoke definitively. You knew what he meant. He was referring to Jaehyun, who is likely just waking up to go to work about now.

His words were eerily familiar. Your mind flashed back to the night when he first saw your tattoo and the screaming match that took place. He had spoken to you the same way. Possessive, reminding you who had all of your desire, who could make you feel better than anyone else and how much you needed him.

But you didn’t have time to think about that because Taeyong attached himself to your lips with his own pillowy ones. The sensation of kissing Taeyong was just as intoxicating as it always had been. He took the lead and pried open your mouth with his tongue. His hands firmed their grip on your waist, and the wet spot from your panties felt sticky against your side. His tongue slipped it’s way inside your mouth, exploring it in the way he had always done before. He even tasted the same.

Your mind was going cloudy as your mouths moved in sync. Just as you had found your rhythm Taeyong broke the kiss. He practically threw you onto your back and move to loom over you. You yelped loudly in surprise, but once again he did not give you time to react before folding your legs to your chest and holding them in place. His entire attention was focused on your glistening pussy, raking his eyes over it over and over again. He leaned back only long enough to set your panties down at the top of the bed, before returning to the previous position. Using one had to keep your legs in place he used the other to brush over the sticky surface, which twitches at the touch.

“Aw, baby, look how pretty your little cunt is.” He remarked before sliding his middle finger into your hole. You moaned loudly, not expecting the feeling of being entered so soon. The juices from your arousal eased his way as he pumped the finger in and out.

“Still so tight to, when was the last time anyone fucked your right?” He asked, but did not expect an answer through the moans as he dived into your core, his tongue finding its purchase on your swollen clit. You squirmed violently in his grip, keening and mewling all the while.

“Too long apparently” He mused coming away from your cunt just long enough to say the words, before diving back in swirling his tongue around your folds, his finger still pumping quickly letting more juices flow. In those brief moments, you could see his face, it was already dripping with your arousal making his lips look plumper than before if possible.

He continued the ministration with intensity, adding another finger into your hole, and occasionally nibbling slightly at your flesh. You practically screaming yourself hoarse as time went on. You were so aroused you could feel the juice the wasn’t lapped up by Taeyongs Tounge drip onto the bedcovers below you.

’“You’re making such a mess” He growled into your core. The vibrations from his words traveled into and up your body, causing you to latch your hands into his hair. Without breaking his stride Taeyong momentarily released your legs only long enough to detach your hands from his hair and hold them by the wrist together, then using the same arm hold your legs back in position.  The slight discomfort was nothing compared to the burning in your tummy, which was knotting itself tightly waiting to come undone.

“Tae-” you were going to inform him in your now hoarse voice that you were going to cum any minute, however, he beat you to the punch once again.

“Trust me, baby, I know"

of course, he did.

Your movements were now much more restricted but you could only writhe when he pushed a third long finger into you stretching the limits of your cunt. He continued to suck on your bud harshly, but it was the feeling of the three fingers moving inside you at a deliberate pace, pushing against your walls oh so deliciously that caused the knot in your stomach to snap.  You came hard, your entire body convulsed as Taeyongs finger pumped you through the feeling, drawing out the waves of pleasure radiating from your pussy. Your eyes squeezed shut as you cried out in a broken voice.

To soon the feeling passed. You lay there damn near lifeless, but that didn’t stop Taeyong from lapping up all of the arousal from your cunt, which twitched in sensitivity every time his tongue made contact. You involuntarily moved away from his mouth, but he wouldn’t let you move until he had lapped up every last drop. Finally, he gave you the relief of moving away. The tightness you had been holding finally releasing. You opened your eyes just enough to see him lean back on his heels and slip each glistening finger into his mouth, one by one, and suck them clean. You burned with embarrassment and tried to hide your face, but you had nowhere to hide with your hands still being restricted. Finally, he looked directly into your flushed face and gave you a lopsided smile, his face still covered in a sticky gleam.

"Sorry baby, you just taste so good.”

After his words, he finally released you from his arms. Your legs were a little sore, but you couldn’t care less. You were exhausted enough to fall asleep where you lay, but of course, Taeyong wouldn’t allow that.

Finally, Taeyong unbuttoned his shirt and threw it away. You were so transfixed by him. He was just so god damn beautiful and looked radiant in the dim light. You were so busy staring you barely noticed him undo his pants and pull his dick out his boxers. It looked painfully hard and red, and you moved to sit up to take it in your hand, but you were pushed back down.  Taeyong pumped his dick a few times, spreading the precum down his length making it shine.

“Ah, ah, ah Baby. No time for that, I need to remind you how it feels to be fuck by someone who knows what they are doing.” The subtle jab did not go unnoticed. But fuck if you thought about it for more than a second with the anticipation of being filled up, rose in you once again.  Taeyong pushed your legs up once again, and though your joints protested you did not.

He gave his dick one more pump, before leaning over you and lining himself up with your entrance. He leaned especially close into your ear, speaking into the shell of it and whispered.

“Do you want me, Baby? Want me to fuck you like you deserve"

The words flooded your aching heat with arousal once again.

"Yes please, fill me up Tae, please” the last word came out more like a whisper than anything, but he heard you nonetheless. And he did not need to be told twice. In one powerful thrust, he pushed all the way into you. You didn’t have to voice to cry out but instead released a sicking mewl.

“Fuck” was the only thing that came out of his mouth before he pulled out and repeated the action. Slowly he built up a steady pace. It was not as fast or rough as you expected, but more of a steady deep movement, but it left you breathless nonetheless. Every single movement stretched your walls, and you would feel every inch of him moving in and out. It was blissful. You could have stayed like that forever. But the need for release was growing in you with every thrust. It seemed like Taeyong agreed, picking up the pace and angling himself to hit the special spot inside you with every thrust.

Now you were keening with every thrust, releasing a whimper every time. in your current position, you couldn’t move to meet his thrust but you could wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, which he didn’t seem to mind. The weight of his body was heavy on yours, and you could feel the muscles in his shoulders tighten beneath your fingers.

“aw, baby, you feel so fucking good. You like the way I fuck you?” he asked in your ear. You only moaned in response, trying your hardest to stay composed. but that didn’t last long when Taeyongs hand came down to rub circles into your swollen and abused clit. It hurt, but in such a pleasurable way. You threw your head back.

“You gonna cum already baby?” he asked, the rasp you recognized so well returning to his voice.

“yes,  gonna cum…..” was all that you could force out. Your stomach was clenched so tight you felt like your pussy was trying to keep his cock inside you. You felt so good and full.

“Its ok baby, you can cum” He punctuated his statement with a particularly hard thrust that reached deep inside you.

And not long after you felt yourself unravel for a second time, only this time it lasted much longer. The waves of pleasure didn’t stop coming as he milked the feeling of your walls clenching and pulsing around him. His cock was throbbing too, just as much as your walls.

“Aw, baby you feel- feel so fucking good"

those were his last words before releasing inside you. You could feel the oversensitivity seeping in and you could hear the cum squelching out of you as he rode out his own orgasm before pulling out.

You both lay there panting for a bit, holding onto the moments before one of you would move. This time you did it first, pushing yourself up onto your arms and looking at the heavenly sweat coated man laying on top of you. Taeyong took one last deep breath before pushing himself up as well. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your temple before speaking.

"let’s get cleaned up.”

The drew you a bath and helped relaxed your aching body. When you were clean it was him that dressed you in your discarded shirt on the floor.

That night you fell asleep in his bed, with his naked back pressed firmly against yours, and his arms wrapped tightly around your body.

In the morning you awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. You heard his gentle breathing in your ear, still, sound asleep. The clock on the nightstand read 7:24. You were expected to check into your hotel in an hour. You looked down at yourself as you sat up. The ring on your finger glinted mockingly, sighing you got to your feet. You would rather not be here for the inevitable conversation when he wakes up.

You moved quickly around the room, gathering your things and dressing yourself fully. There was one problem, you couldn’t find your underwear. After searching for a few more minutes and a scare from Taeyongs stirring you gave up on the idea of getting them back and left.

Going back to the life that you turned your back on that night.

[gizkasparadise]

Omggg okay so I am back after a v long time to scream and recommend 2 amazing dramas that iam absolutely in love with :

1 ) Navillera ; translates to " Like a butterfly "

it's about a 23 year old male ballerina who is slowly losing his touch with ballet because of other problems in his life , financial and mental.

The other main character is a 70 year old man that just saw his friend die whose last words were basically about how he couldn't accomplish his dreams and this made the old man realize how he had never accomplished his dream in life which was : ballet 🩰

So now the 23 year old boys ballet teacher appoints the older man as his manager in return that the boy teaches him ballet.

Now this was the most beautiful drama I've seen in a long time, it touched my heart, it encouraged me and showed me that I can still achieve my dreams even if I think I've passed the age for it. Amazing cinematography , beautiful osts ; one of them sung by Taemin!!!!! ( I rem u mentioned in one ur old posts that ur a shawol so I feel compelled to tell u ) . It's a really wholesome drama and seeing a 70 year old man try his best to learn ballet and actually accomplishing it IT WAS BEAUTIFUL I CRIED

When this drama ended oh man I felt so empty inside I cried it was so bittersweet and beautiful and ended in an amazingly satisfying way

Also it's only 12 eps and I would rate it 9.5/10 [ 0.5 cut because theres only 12 eps ]

2 ) Beyond Evil / Monster

This drama had me on the EDGE OF MY SEAT I WAS DYING EVERY SINGLE EPISODE IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED IT 👌👌👌 one of the best crime thriller kdramas out there I loved every minute of it i rate it 10/10 without hesitation the BUILDUP the REVEAL I NEARLY DIEDDDDDDD

okay so I'll explain the basic premise to u

20 years ago in 2000 , Lee Dong Shik is caught as a suspect in a supposed murder case in whcih only the victims fingertips were left behind , this incident changed his entire life and now he works as a police officer at a substation in Manyang , a small peaceful town

In present day (2020) , Han Ju Won gets transferred to the substation in Manyang after which another murder case takes place in a similar way leaving only the victims fingertips behind.

They discover it's a string of serial killings and Lee Dong Shik and Han Ju Won pair up to find the killer.

It sounds simple but its actually extremely complex u never know what's gonna happen next and the ending was satisfying its 16 eps only and I rate it 10/10 ( without hesitation )

I highly recommend both these dramas they are both amazing 👏👏👏 PLEASE PLEASE DO WATCH I LOVED ITTTT 😭😭

I'm mainly asking u cause ur live blogging is my absolute fav I love reading ur comments even when I haven't watched the drama so I'd like to see the comments of the dramas I do know about (u r under no obligation to do this I just wanted to compliment u )

Ahaha this took half an hour to type my fingers hurt 😂😭

Have a great day ♡ I missed sending long af asks

- Long Ask Girl

these are great, thank you!! both have been on my list but the gifsets from navillera have been too damn sad it’s taking me awhile to start it (but now i gotta check out that OST because KING TAEMIN!). knowing it’s only 12 eps is a good thing, actually, because i dont know how much SAD FEELINGS i can take at the moment so i’ll bump it up on the watch list

beyond evil i’ve actually started! work’s just phenomenally busy right now so all my drama watching that isn’t fluff has sort of taken a pause but i’ll get back in it soon :D 

[psychewithwings]

Love Bakugo: Pt. 3 Missing Person

Sorry for the WAITTTT, I love you guys so much xxx

It was easier to get your boyfriend to forgive you. You’d looked back through your old facebook photos and found a similar picture from when you were back at UA. “We were just recreating the photo for the announcement of our alliance,” you’d said. Your boyfriend was still grumpy but he had offered to take you to work tomorrow. You had agreed, begrudgingly, not wanting to spend much time with him in close quarters. That night you had gone to sleep, as close to the edge of the bed as possible. You tried to imagine nice things but you wanted to be in your own space. Your heart felt heavy laying in bed with the man you no longer loved. Part of you wanted to wake him up now, throw him out of bed, and yell at him that you knew everything. But you thought about how many guys just get a talking to and nothing else, they learn nothing and continue to hurt people. This was the last time your boyfriend would hurt someone. It was ending with you. It was lucky that Bakugo had surprised you at your house this morning with a “surveillance job”. You apologized to your boyfriend flippantly saying, “duty calls,” and then jumped into Bakugo’s car with your hero costume on. “So, what’s the job?” you asked once inside. Bakugo smirked, “there’s some bagel’s that really need us to keep their eye on them…” he said and then, like he did once in a blue moon, he laughed. “You really just picked me up to get breakfast with you?” His eyes softened but his focus was still on the road. “You shouldn’t spend time with him,” he said gruffly. “Thanks…” and even though it was said softly and simply, you’d meant it. You and Bakugo had been practically estranged since your days at UA but if you hadn’t had him right now, you’d still be oblivious to your boyfriends mistreatment. “Yeah, always,” he said. Your breath caught in your throat as you remembered the last time Katsuki had said those words to you. You pushed the thought from your mind as you got out of the car and followed Katsuki into the bagel place.  

He had paid for everything insisting he had to because he hadn’t issued you your first paycheck yet. “You can laugh, Y/n. It was a joke.” You had laughed then, but it was a nervous laughter. Even in all the years you’d known him, he had never been so gentle with you. At UA, you were often partnered together. You weren’t a good match against each other because your quirk was mental warfare and his was incredibly physical. Amokenisis, the manipulation of love. It had it’s limits of course but as long as your opponent could hear your voice or if you could touch them, they were putty in your hands. That’s why Bakugo was such a tough match. His explosions made it difficult for you to get close, and they were loud, drowning out your siren song. “I HATE YOU Y?N,” he’d would yell in your face after losing a match to you. But this turned into you two training together most days upon Aizawa’s advice. Because when you two worked together, you were unstoppable.

Durring breakfast you’d kept your mouth shut about the memories that were passing, like cars. You weren’t ready to talk to him about the letter again, or his “always.” Bakugo opened up his car door for you but he said nothing and did not look your way.  Katsuki wasn’t stupid and you were sure he was watching the same film in his mind. The drive was silent, save the few bits of interjected banter to keep the awkwardness at bay. Always. The memory was so strong, you could still feel his hand against your cheek. Always.

“You ready?” he asked as you both swiped your ID cards upon entrance. “Never been more ready for anything in my life,” you said smirking. He lead you to the top floor and into an empty room with large bay windows and a single desk. “If you don’t like this one, there’s others downstairs,” he said plainly. “No no, I like it, very much… and it’s close to you,” you said more flirtatious than you had meant. Bakugo did not respond to your advance, however unintentional, and instead turned to walk out. “Lemme give ya the tour or whatever.” You followed him out of the door and began taking the tour. In the first few steps, viewing the lobby, he took your arm and looped it through his. He tried his best to walk beside you. You could see it was difficult for him to move at this slow of a pace. He always walked as if he was burning his path with his feet, where as you preferred to saunter, stopping to smell the roses. He eyed you from the side, “can you hurry up just a little, we have staff meeting in an hour and theres a lot of my agency to show off to ya.” He gave you that cocky grin you’d grown to love.

He showed you the underground training centre, which had a pool and an obstacle course for heroes to practice on. He showed you support, where all the hero equipment was made and distributed. You could see your boyfriend watching you from the glass walls of his office, which oversaw all the work tables, where his subordinates tinkered with finding solutions to the constant hero problems. He glared at Bakugo, but changed his tone, when Bakugos gaze shifted to follow yours. You waved at your boyfriend, your arm still linked with Katsuki’s.

The meeting was held in the training centre. There were about 500 members of staff there already chatting and smiling. You stood next to Bakugo on a large raised structure, in front of a microphone. A large projection blinked numbers and stats on the blank wall behind you. He had wanted to introduce you to the team and you felt incredibly nervous. You’d always been humble and never given your popularity much thought. You understood the value of your quirk, but you became a hero because you knew you were powerful enough to keep people safe, you didn’t do it for attention. “Cant I just go with the others and listen?” you asked Bakugo. He scoffed at you, “no, you’re too good to just listen, Y/n.” You knew that was the end of the conversation so you starred into the sea of eyes and tried not to feel too self conscious. You watched as a woman walked into the training centre, she was pretty, her hair was long and her smile was blinding. You watched as she began talking with a few other heroes. Her laugh rang out like a song and your heart dropped, something told you that was her. Of course it was… Bakugo must have caught on because he squeezed your hand tighter, and just like the night at the train station, he didn’t let go.

Your boyfriend was one of the last to enter and he looked like a mess. His arms were crossed and his lip was pulled up slightly, in contempt. “Guys, lets pipe the fuck down,” he said into the mic. Was this how Bakugo started all his meetings? “Okay, so finances are good, our agents are the best in the city, who cares, that’s not what’s important today. Everyone, please welcome my good friend Y/n, or as you all know her Amor Rose. We’re really lucky to have her.” The crowed cheered… for you. You laughed nervously then smiled and accepted the applause. “You wanna say anything?” Katsuki asked you. You felt like you should so you nodded. “Shut it! She’s talkin’” he said. The room fell silent, save for the microphone’s feedback and all eyes were on you. “Oh, well, I just wanted to say that I’m really excited to be here, and I hope to make you all, and especially Katsuki proud.” The crowed cheered again and you felt ready to walk back to the quiet of your office.

The meeting seemed to be breaking up when a woman ran onto the platform carrying a small file. She whispered something to Katsuki and then scuttled off. Katsuki opened the file and looked it over carefully. “Before everyone goes, we just received a pretty severe missing person’s case.” The projection changed from stats to… oh dear god!  It was your boyfriends high school year book picture. “This is the message from the concerned party, ‘I’ve tried connecting with my old friend from high school for years and I haven’t found anything related to them. I am worried something bad has happened and no one knows… he was kind of a loner and wasn’t super close with his family. Bakugo Agency… please help.’ Files will be distributed accordingly. Let’s get to work and get this guy some answers.” You turned to see your boyfriend red faced and fuming. Did he know it was you? Did he suspect? Bakugo was dragging you off the platform before you could get a good enough read off of your boyfriend.

Bakugo was pulling you back to the locker rooms of the training centre. Once you were out of earshot you both burst out laughing. “Did you see his face?!” you exclaimed. “I sure fucking did,” he said and you laughed more. “I can’t believe it! When did you set that up?” Bakugo looked down at you, eyebrow raised. “The moment you told me there was a bad picture, you dummy,” he said playfully. You hit his shoulder softly, “don’t call me that!” You both laughed again and then you looked up at him. “You’re the best,” you said. He wrapped his arms around your back and pulled you into him, his eyes still trained on yours. “I know,” he said. “No, I mean it,” you pushed. A thick stillness hung above where you both stood in the deserted hallway. Looking at his face, you saw the letter in your minds eye. You pulled away  slowly, feeling more confused than ever. Revenge was becoming less important by the second.

Tag List: @rebel---black​ @random-fandom-girl-24​ @unawi13-blog​

[aonogifreactions]

Rin Okumura Alphabet Headcanons - [N/SFW]

MINORS AND AGELESS/EMPTY BLOGS DONT INTERACT YOU WILL BE BLOCKED :)

A/N: ive finally written this! ;w; imma get it under the cut, theres a lot of sin, hehe. dont f//lag me, tumblr :eyes:

[SFW alphabet headcanons with Rin here!]

Mature content ahead. Female reader implied.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Rin is so happy afterward it’s incredible, thus he’s pretty energetic; he can run a bath for you, cook anything you’d like or simply cuddle with you.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is his hands, since he’s doing most of the things using them - cooking for you, going through your soft hair, pleasing you and wielding his sword to protect you.

His favorite body part on you though, are your boobs. Yeah pretty straightforward BUT,, hear me out. He loves kneading them gently, licking your sensitive nipples and biting them with enough pressure. Beside NSFW, they’re a great pillow for him to sleep. He doesn’t really care whether they’re big or not; he’s going to spoil and love them anyway.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Cums a FUCKING lot, and his sperm is THICC. Wants to cum inside you, but is scared at first; he doesn’t wanna make you pregnant (When he has your permission and cums inside, watches in delight how your mixed juices try to escape your pussy - he pushes it back in). Usually cums on your stomach or breasts. Loves seeing his cum on your tongue after giving him a blowjob.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lactating kink?? This boy is obsessed with it. Whenever you two have sex, he’s asking with his puppy eyes if he can drink a little bit. If you squirt some milk out of your titty he can cum on the spot. He’s fully aware that it’s not meant for him but for your child, but uses an excuse that he never had the chance to drink it, lmao. It turns him on so much that he’s hard as a fucking rock. Oh, and he has a chance to play with your other titty as well.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Doesn’t have much experience, you’re most likely his first, but he’s rather aware of what he’s doing, don’t worry.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Mostly positions where he can see your face, like missionary. He’s fond of Spooning and fucking, doggie too.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Rin’s serious for the most part. Sometimes he can accidentally tickle you, causing you to laugh slightly while doing the do but he’ll laugh with you. But girl,, him on top of you, laughing and seconds later hearing him let out such a delicious moan he desperately tried to hide is *chefs kiss*. Sometimes he remembers a funny meme and laughs into your neck.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Shaves down there completely. He hates that feeling when his pubes regrow, nor he wants you to feel uncomfortable. Surprise, surprise! Carpet does NOT! match the drapes. (Or.. until now??) While his hair was navy-colored, his pubes were white (and still are… well). He genuinely thought his body had gone insane, lmfao.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Rin just loves whispering praises in your ear. It’s also the only place where he’ll moan without holding back. Sometimes, when he feels particularly sad or affectionate (even more than usual), he places his forehead on yours and mumbles “I love you” over and over.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Rin’s imagination’s hella bad when he’s single, so usually, he just watches porn. Rarely, he reads hentai but gets annoyed when accidentally cums on some pages and they leave small stains later on.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Lactating, school uniform (his s/o), dry humping, biting (he won’t hurt you tho; he’s aware of his massive teeth).

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His/your/house or dorms. Basically everywhere, every room in mentioned places, he doesn’t really like having sex in public.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Sexting and a little seducing, but most of the time just the atmosphere(?). Like you two just sit down near each other, for example - you’re doing homework together and explaining something, then you accidentally lock his eyes with his and he watches you, innocently nods and softly kisses you… and a few minutes later he’s fucking you on his desk, your notebooks on the floor, forgotten.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Hurting you in any way and threesome. no. NO. and N O. He doesn’t share.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Giving!! Give this boy that pussy!! He’s gonna eat you out for hours. Squish his face between your thighs, he doesn’t mind. Pretty skilled with his tongue as the time comes by, at the beginning uses this opportunity as “practice”. Always blushes like mad, though. Likes receiving too, but hates how messy he gets - moans all the damn time, squirms, calls your name and so on.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on his mood, usually takes his time and is very sweet and sensual. To him, sex is more intimate and is strongly connected to his emotions. After a bad day though.. he’s rough and gonna fuck you till the night ends.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Nah, as I said, he likes to take his time with you. Let this boy worship you properly.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He himself?? Not really. If his s/o wants to take a risk, he agrees from time to time.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His stamina is fucking never-ending, literally. He doesn’t get tired, can go as many rounds as you want.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t like using it on himself nor owns any unless he’s in a relationship. Pretty willing to use it on you, but definitely prefers his own body pleasing you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Again, depends on his mood. Usually doesn’t tease, maybe a little, little bit.

“Mmm, should I put it in?” He smirks, rubbing his cock against your wet pussy, “I know you need me, baby.”

Well, unless he’s drunk. Then he’s teasing you mercilessly.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Tries not to moan to be able to hear you better; eventually, something malfunctions and he lets out almost everything that he tried to keep in. He’s pretty loud, so he often hides his face in your neck. And I’m telling you, it’s a beautiful, fucking symphony.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

When things get too intense, his demonic side tends to show more incisively. His ears grow longer, there’s a tiny blue flame around him, but it’s actually pleasant to touch, doesn’t burn. Sometimes his pupils change their shape as well; he’s just so lost in pleasure he isn’t aware he’s slowly losing control. (Never fully, though. He later wakes up from that “trance”, typically near his orgasm.)

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

whoop whoop whoop heres a pretty picture of a small kitty

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It gets pretty high during spring, since its demons’ mating season. Around June it lowers to average and stays like this till next year.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

So.. he’s pretty energetic, as I said at the beginning. He  r e a l l y is. Mostly falls asleep 4-5 hours after sex and when he’s sure your needs are satisfied.

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[wickedyan]

can I have a possessive/dominant Yandere Levi Ackerman please? Like really dark or sum. You can do whatever you want! Thank you I love your blog! 💖💖

I got extremely into this,,, which is why it became the 2.3k monster that it now is. I mean, I would be lying if I said this was safe for work,,,, but u hhh– i’ll just let you all decide.

-

Character: Levi Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan

Warnings: Stalking, Noncon, Violence, Hickey’s/Marking, Possesive, Dom/Sub themes, Swearing

-

You were stronger than most, and you knew that. You had no problem boasting about the amount of titan kills that you had, strutting through the lunch hall with a cocky grin painted on your face. Your superiors had tried and failed to put you in your place, they knew they couldn’t beat you, all they could do was continue to glue their envious eyes to your form.

You spent your free time training, building up muscle and stamina. Squats were a favourite of yours. To push up from the tree branches and into the air, you needed the strength. So, you built up the muscles in your calves and thighs (of course you worked on your upper body too)… and your ass. Come on, if everyone was going to stare at you, you would give them something to stare at.

But that was okay, you liked the stares, thriving off the attention that your bangin’ body and capable-self attracted.

Though, you had to admit, you were pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t only the stares of the younger cadets like the 104th that wouldn’t leave you be. When you noticed the icy stare of the strongest in the camp, Corporal Levi, trained on you as you sauntered through the dining hall, you were shocked… and a little embarrassed. He continued to watch as you made your way to the front, picking up a tray and loading your dinner on, hands shaking as you felt his watchful gaze situate itself on your ass.

You hurriedly made your way to your table, greeting your gobsmacked friends as you sat down politely, and definitely not with the usual boisterous attitude you usually had. They began to shout questions at you, wondering why you were acting so unusually shy. You did your best to calm their worried selves, and they reluctantly let your behaviour slide.

Peeking behind you, you stared into Corporal Levi’s hooded gaze that had refused to leave your form. Red flushed up your throat as you whipped back around, before shoving a mouthful of bread in your mouth, muttering an excuse before retiring to your bedroom. But as you turned around, he was no longer in his seat.

-

Striding into training the next morning, you greeted your friends as normal and began to stretch as everyone awaited instructions.

A buzzing not unlike bees began to spread throughout the field, and as you turned around to check what all the commotion was about, your jaw dropped. Corporal Levi was speaking with your usual instructor, who grinned before addressing the crowd. “Alright everyone, Corporal Levi will be your instructor today. I’m sure you’ll obey him as you would me, because he’s not as… lenient with punishments as I am.”

You turned to your friends, all of them sharing a similar look of ‘Oh fuck.’

He seemed to give similar instructions to your usual squad leader, but each word left no room for refusal with each demand. His deep voice commanded the crowd with ease, with everyone being too afraid of punishment to slack off in any way.

Soon, the warm-ups were over, and it was time for sparring matches. You paired up with your usual partner, but before you could begin, a pale hand slid over your shoulder with impeccable grip.

“Cadet Y/n, you will not be sparring with Cadet Leonhart today.” Shivers erupted down your spine as the deep voice mumbled in your ear, his hot breath causing you to force your eyes closed, and you nodded stiffly. “I’ve seen your potential,” his hand slid down your arm, squeezing your biceps, “and I think you’re ready for a real challenge, hm?”

You nodded, “Who do you have in mind, Corporal?”

Retrieving his hand from you, he twisted you around until you faced him, amusement shining through his hooded gaze. “How about me?”

You laughed, “Perfect.”, your usual cocky smile finding its way back onto your face. Finally, a challenge!

Corporal Levi replaced Annie’s place, bending his knees and raising his fists lazily. “Are you ready, Cadet?” With one sharp nod, Annie called the sparring match to a start. Ready as I’ll ever be.

His eyes closed until they were only slits, watching every minimal movement you made, as your chest rose and fell, your weight shifting from each foot, hands clenching into fists. You knew he wouldn’t make the first move, so you decided you would.

You lunged forward with precise movements, throwing hard punches only for the Corporal to block them. You advanced on him, taking the offensive, swift movements helping your foot to make contact with his ribs. Hands gripped your leg before you could pull away and pulled you off balance. You didn’t bother to stare back at him, only trying to catch yourself before you could be pinned, but it was too late.

A strong grip grasped your wrists as his knee dug into your back, pushing your chest into the dirt. He forced your hands together behind your waist, holding the position long enough for Annie to call the match to an end. But he didn’t pull away just yet, no.

Leaning into your ear, he spoke softly, his voice a deep grumble that had you gasping silently. “You think you’re tough shit, don’t you, Y/n?” He pushed your arms further into your back, painfully so. “I had to put you in your place, and I think we both know how much you’re enjoying it…”

It was true. A blush had made its way up your throat, staining your cheeks a deep crimson. A hot burning feeling filled your groin, lighting up your insides. Rubbing your thighs together, you weren’t aware of the jealous stares that were trained on you. “Listen to me, Y/n. Tonight, before supper, you will meet me at my office. Do not be late, or a punishment will be awaiting you, and you will not enjoy it.”

And then the heavy warmth was gone, and Corporal Levi was leaving you on the dirt, scrambling to stand up.

-

Your dinner would be served in roughly an hour and a quarter, you decided it was enough time to clean yourself up and make your way over to the Corporal’s study. You had a hasty bath, the cold water not helping your sore muscles in the slightest. You fetched a bar of soap, lathering it before scrubbing away the dirt that marred your skin. As the water turned brown, swirling around the drain, you allowed yourself to relax, massaging soap through your hair, making sure to leave no rubble behind, less you wish to be scolded by your Corporal.

You twisted the handle, ceasing the water before stepping out of the safety of the bath.

Dressing yourself in your uniform, you decided to leave the manoeuvre gear hung up neatly for the rest of the night. You combed your hair, attempting to tame it before deciding it would do, leaving the room in a hurry. You wandered through the halls, realising that you had never actually set foot inside of the Corporal’s office. Not many had. A bubble feeling arose in your chest. You were special. With this new information in mind, you straightened your posture, pushing out your chest, smug sneer evident on your face.

Arriving at his office, you took in the silver nameplate. ‘Corporal Levi Ackerman’ it read. A quick glance behind you informed you that his nameplate was impeccably clean without a speck of dirt. You hadn’t expected less.

“Are you going to keep me waiting, y/n? I’m not a patient man.”

You swallowed down a gulp, hand approaching the door handle slowly. What did the Corporal need from you? Were you in trouble? Was he going to punish you? You stuttered back as the door swung open. “I’m—!”

“Cadet Y/n. Please come inside, I am tired of waiting.” Corporal Levi was shorter than you, but in this moment, you were certain that he was towering over you, steeled eyes staring into your soul.

He stepped aside, pulling the door open wider as you slid in past him. The thumping of your heart was so loud that you were worried that he would be able to smell your fear. Too concentrated on calming yourself, you missed the heavy thud of the now-closed door, deft fingers locking it in place.

Long strides carried him around the desk, taking a seat in front of you. He gestured to the chair placed in front of his desk. You took a seat, smoothing out the creases in your pants. You avoided his eyes.

“Cadet, are you aware of the reason I’ve called you into my office this afternoon?” You shook your head.

“No, sir.”

Levi nodded, leaning back in his chair, sitting in a more comfortable position. You could feel his eyes take in your form. He looked almost… hungry.

“I’m sick of your behaviour, to be very fucking honest with you. I’ve had it with this high-and-mighty attitude.” His fruity voice demanded all attention be on himself. His fingers tapped against the plush-looking leather of his chair, four taps that continued in a pattern.

Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap.

Your breathing quickened, anxious hands wringing together awkwardly. You focussed your gaze unto the clock sitting in the corner of the room. You had about a quarter of an hour before supper. The empty feeling in your stomach was suddenly much more noticeable as you thought about what the kitchen would be serving that night. Perhaps a stew?

You didn’t usually get so distracted, but as you sat there, blankly staring at the clock, you neglected to notice your Corporal standing rising from his chair.

A shrill squeak escaped your throat in an embarrassing fashion, the seat you were perched atop scraping harshly against the polish floorboards from an impressively strong kick. “I did not summon you into my quarters for you to daydream, idiot. Pay attention.”

You could feel the heat fill your face, shame forcing you to lower your head. Your apology was greeted with a scoff. “Where’s all your bravado now, cadet? Lost your nerve?”

Leaning down on his leg that was still pressed on to edge of your chair, he invaded your personal space. He smelled nice… was he wearing cologne?

“Aw, shy now? That’s too bad, pet. I happen to love putting brats like you in their place.” Your shocked expression met his amused grin, malicious intent burning in his gaze. He was straddling you and you choked on your own saliva, hand shaking as you lifted them from your lap as to not have them squashed. Where should you put your hands?!

A rough hand travelled up the length of your spine, nails scraping gently against sensitive skin. “Here’s how things are gonna work, pet. You’re gonna wanna fight me, and I know you’re gonna want to pin me, but that’s not gonna happen. You’re mine to touch, to tease. You’re gonna be my little plaything, and you’re gonna take all that comes my way.” A strong grip grasped your hair, pulling your hair to the side and eliciting a groan of pain. Teeth grazed the joining between your shoulder and throat. “I don’t give a shit about how you act in the yard, cadet. But with me, you’re gonna submit to me. Fight me, and I’ll be forced to punish you.”

Your hands settled on his shoulders, eyes squeezed tight. Levi’s other hand came to rest on your hip, constricting and causing you to writhe.

Lips pressed hotly against your shoulder, leaving wet marks behind as his touch travelled up your throat. He nipped at a particularly sensitive spot, eliciting the sweetest moans. His tongue peaked out, licking and sucking and biting until your grip on his shoulders was almost bruising. Almost. You shook your head, pushing away at his shoulders, but the grip he had on your hair restricted your movement, tugging sharply as a warning. He began nipping below your jaw, hips grinding into your own.

At a notably loud moan, he stopped, hot breath whispering into your ear, “Enjoying yourself, Cadet? But I’ve barely started.” A hand dragged down your stomach as his mouth continued its ministrations, unbuckling your blouse without a word. He slid down, latching on to your collarbone, leaving a trail of dark marks in his wake.

A cold hand pulled at your undergarments, exposing your breasts. The cooling feeling against your exposed nipples was jarring. You bucked your hips, biting your lip in embarrassment. “Corporal Levi, you should stop… someone could catch us!”

He ignored you, biting into your throat in reprimand. But, it was as though the Gods were on your side… or not.

“Levi~!” the rambunctious voice of Squad Leader Hanji cut through the silence. Levi pulled away from your throat with a wet pop, wiping away saliva with his sleeve, clearly irritated at the interruption. “Levi, why is the door locked? Ohhh~ are you in there with someone…?” Her tone was dramatic and suggestive, the amusement only furthering your embarrassment.

You used Hanji as a distraction to push away from Levi, pulling up your bra and dashing for the door. You unlocked it with ease and ducked past a surprised Hanji. You ran for the dorm, patting down your hair and buttoning up your blouse. You did your best to recover your composure before facing your dorm-mates.

It would have worked too, if the array of pink-purple bruises covering your throat hadn’t immediately given you away.

(And when you came to training the following morning with makeup concealing each and every one, lets just say that Levi wasn’t pleased…)

[crowsent]

casual reminder not to send hate to writers. casual reminder not to harass other writers. casual reminder not to get pissed at writers for updating slowly or not updating at all. casual reminder that you, as a reader, are getting something FREE and have no right to diss or insult or harass someone fucking else. writing is SHARED with you. you have no fucking right to make fun of the work, or the writer who made it.

i am very grateful to the people who read my fanfics and comment and bookmark and kudos. you are all lovely people and i am so so lucky that you have chosen to give me a little bit of your time with your comments and your tags and everything else. to me, being able to talk to the people who read my stuff is what makes writing worth it to me. all of the people whove read my stuff have been nothing but kind and im very grateful for that and for you.

but the moment you send anon hate to ANYONE, please know that i fucking viscerally hate your goddamn guts.

i dont fucking care how much you comment, how much you reblog or like or bookmark or kudos anything i write. the MOMENT you insult someone else, send hate to someone else, tear down someone else, all that shit means DICK to me.

if you think its okay to make fun of another writer just bc you dont like their work, or make fun of another PERSON in general. block me. fucking block me right fucking now and get the shit away from me and my life and any other human being.

how dare you?

how fucking dare you?

what gives you the right?

do you think its funny to come waltzing in one someone elses with the illusion that youre better than them? do you think its funny when you come at someone else, tear them down, insult them, and make them feel like shit? do you think someone out there is going to pat you in the back for majoring at being a COLOSSAL DICKHEAD?

do you?

is it fun watching the light and life leave someone eyes? is it fun knowing that youve beaten someone so bad that they no longer want to get up and believe your hate for the rest of their lives? is it fun knowing that you can hide behind a veil of anonymity under the guise that youre going to be safe from criticism?

is it fun if you hurt someone?

is it going to be fucking fun if that person disappears from the world forever?

maybe you dont give a fucking shit about other people. maybe your heart and your soul are just as empty as your head. maybe theres only a black void inside you that can only be filled by causing pain to others because you know in your empty cavernous BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER OF A SELF THAT your RANCID UNLIKEABLE DECAYING ROTTEN SOUL will never find another person who loves you. maybe thats why you try to look for something else to make you feel whole

maybe you dont care about other people because youre incapable of it, but listen. maybe youll care if you go to jail

IF YOUR FUCKING HEARTLESS PIECE OF SHIT EXISTENCE doesnt care about the fact that youre HURTING ANOTHER PERSON then maybe youll care if you go to jail. locked up for months, years. if a person is lost from this world because of YOUR BULLSHIT then youre going to go to FUCKING JAIL

i dont give a shit if its because you grew a conscience or if you got bored or if you dont go to jail but for FUCKS SAKE do not go around insulting other people just because you might get a tiny laugh to fill your empty hollow shell of a life

i have no mercy for anon hate. i have no mercy for people who think its okay to tear someone down. i have no mercy for motherfuckers like these and if you think its okay to send anon hate then get the FUCK OUT

dont interact with me.

dont look at my blog.

dont read my work.

block me and fucking leave

find a remote island without any people for you to hurt and think about your fucking choices

[dondonblubstudio]

A nonsensical mess of how I have been feeling lately

Idk why I am posting this here on tumblr, I guess its because I dont have any friends who go like use tumblr and in all honesty

I dont have any friends lol so I might as well blog more often.

What an awful time I have been having in life lately.

So, I will tell my none existent blubs.

i am 25 I have accomplished literally nothing except basically fucking up my own life. I should’ve been a bit further then this. Unlike most people I have few excuses' on why I am in the current circumstances in my life. Accept for the fact that I am just very very stupid. And therefore have the tendency to make stupid decisions.

If one were to give someone like me two paths, and clearly one path which would be the right path would lead to a wonderful realm of joy, success and like wealth.

And the left path clearly I can see dragons on the horizon, it reeks of blood and rot.

I would likely go down the left path because, it looks cool, and I would be sure I would be fine.

____

The sheer level of my stupidity, honestly is fascinating from an outsiders perspective. Thats why I am sure people who have bullied me or currently think poorly of me are often provided with absolute entertainment.

Tbh I am just honestly tired. I am so tired of hating myself. and I desperately wish for just a short period of time I can simply like myself.

Tbh I wish I had friends again and I can see people again. And I dont think anytime soon that will happen. Its difficult cuz I have literally noone to talk to about my horible distress. And instead I am constantly grabing my feelings and depression and self doubt and throwing it into a basically already filled pit in my mind. 

I dont really know what to do anymore, except continue working harder and harder, and moving further forward, with the meer hope that a year or a couple years from now, I could have accomplished enough to feel satisfied.

In a way I know its all just perspective, I am perceiving myself as a failure, and also its laziness. I am to lazy, I could do more I really could I just need to get out of this lazy mindset.

Its sad but the only satisfaction in joy I get is by the idea of staying busy and working hard. I hope to work so hard, not for any aspect of success. But so I get sick or it completely destroys and exhausts me.

___________________________

Its sad in my adulthood all my friends are gone, I basically only have one. I am not pretty or happy anymore. 

I just have hit a situation. A metaphorical rock in the road and shattered to peices. And became a fragment of what I once was. But as I rebuild myself maybe it is a good thing, because I wasnt anything special in particular, maybe by constantly rebuilding, I can become special.

At this point everything I am saying is probably becoming gibberish.

But hopefully on my tumblr I can become more honest with myself at least, since I cannot be honest with anyone else, I have to be a grinning jester. And just stay happy and put together and well.

Because thats the nature of adulthood and even motherhood, is to be put together no matter what as to not burden others with things as trivial and silly as having feelings.

But I often wish I could be human, and have nervous breakdowns like other human, or cry, but I cannot. I have to be strong. Even though I am glass and broken glass, at that. I have to be strong broken glass. 

____________

I was watching a youtube video about DARK SOULS and theres a character in it based from the OV Angels Egg.

I dont really no much about either but from whatI gather. 

Dark Souls a woman of godly illusion of a female character, is asleep and holding a massive broken egg against her bussom the egg is broken. But shes asleep. When the main character wakes her sheopens her eyes sees the broken empty egg and it turns to dust and she I presume dies.

In the story Angels Egg, it is also similiar, a young cute girl is running around with an egg she found in a post apocalyptic world, she meets a traveler who ponders why she carries the egg. The girl says she thinks there is a bird inside. She cares deeply about the egg. Later on in the story the traveler I think does break this egg.

In both stories this egg, represents illusion, hope and religion. Its isnt whats inside the egg, whether with the goddess asleep holding it dearly or the little girl carrying it around. Its rather the illusion of hope that keeps people going and keeps pushing us forward. Whether the traveler of Angels Egg, Or the main character of Demon Souls. It takes a character to break this illusion, that then destroys the goddess, or little girl.

My egg(illusion) is the belief in a better life. I am not even sure what a better livelihood would mean to me. I guess something stereotypical, where I have friends and hobbies and can afford a decent lifestyle for my daughter. A plausible world where I can no longer dislike myself. 

This is an illusion because in reality I have depression, that I leave untreated, because I have anxiety and a sickly sweet personality that people find annoying or bizarre.

But I still hold onto this egg. I still will continue striving and failing and striving and failing. Maybe this is something that I can be proud of myself. Is because no matter how many times I fail, and my mental health deteriorates, I can not stop working hard. Even if I wanted to I am incapable of stopping.

I have to truck forward, I am just really tired. And lonely. Because every step forward I do make, my failures blow me 10 steps back

So yea that was my feelings. 

I just wanted to talk about it. There not important so.. yea thanks for reading.

__________________________

If anyone wants you can follow my instagram: @dondonblub 

[laws-hat-headcanons]

Hi! A while back you did a request for Zoro with a depressed/suicidal SO, and I was wondering if you could do the same for Law? I understand if not, it's a pretty heavy topic, but thanks either way in advance! You're such an amazing writer and you've been a huge inspiration for me when it comes writing and making my own blog, so thank you for being so awesome!

Hi @leynadoodles! First of all, thank you so much for the lovely comments, Its always mad to me to think that I'm an inspiration to anyone but I'm so glad! 💜💜 I remember the ask! Hope you like it sweetie!!

Law with an S/O who suffers from depression/suicidal thoughts

. Law is a doctor, and a good one at that, so he knows that something is off with his S/Os behaviour almost straight off.

. He doesnt approach them right away, there are a few things that could be the cause of their symptoms and he doesnt want to make an incorrect diagnosis.

. So Law waits and observes his partner.

. He sees the way they act around the crew, always trying to be part of things and involved.

. Admittedly this isn't hard as his crew loves his partner almost as much as Law does.

. But it always seems a little forced.

. They always offer to help, making sure everyone else is okay but never accepting any in return, never putting their own feeling out there.

. Law hears their quiet sighs, watches them turn away when the laughter is at its highest. He catches them wiping at their eyes or sitting alone, watching nothing, looking empty.

. He decides to talk to them. Hes almost 100% sure he knows what's wrong, and hates the thought that hes right.

. "Name-ya, can we talk for a moment?" He asks, reaching for his partner, his long fingers circling their wrist, tugging them towards him.

. "Of course Law, what's on your mind?" Name asks, their voice light but there is something guarded behind their eyes.

. They sit beside him on the bed, foot tapping nervously because while Law is often serious he has never asked to talk before.

. "Name-ya, this is.. I want to make sure you're okay," he says, carefully watching their face, catching the half second slip of their facade.

. "I'm always ok-"

. "Please dont lie to me, Name-ya," Law cuts in before they can finish the words. His hand hasn't let go of their arm. He begins to rub small circles on their wrist with the pad of his thumb.

. "Law.. I dont.." His S/O begins, unable to put in to words something they've kept inside for so long. Their body starts to shake as they try to hold back their sobs.

. "W-would you.. will you still love me, if I told you I didnt love myself?"

. Law feels his chest constrict at the look on their face as everything they've kept inside starts to force it's way out. He's opened the floodgates, theres no stopping it now.

. "Always, Name-ya. I will always love you." He tells them, his free hand coming up to cup their face. He means it too, with every part of his being.

. Law watches as the tears start to fall, and he hates himself for being the one to ask them to speak their feelings in to existence. But he cant help if he doesnt know.

. So he listens as his partner pours out their feelings to him, apologising with every breath because they don't want Law to think that he doesnt make them happy.

. They tell Law that he isn't the problem, its them - it's always been them - they're just broken.

. And he almost cant bare to hear them talk about themselves this way. So Law pulls them against him, their tears soaking through his shirt. And he holds them while they sob their heart out.

. Law he hates every second of it, but he promises to help his S/O, every step of the way. For as long as it takes. Always.

[snazzymgsreference]

I dont know how everyone does it. They put so much effort and energy into things. I just dont have the emotional or mental energy. Everything just slides out of my grasp without me realizing it until its too late.

Relationships. Friendships. Life opportunities. Its all gone in the blink of an eye. And i dont ever realize what i truly have until its gone.

My brain constantly tells me to shut up. Stop talking. These people only barely tolerate you. And then oh how wonderful of a feeling it is when im right. Finally validation that my self destructive tendencies have erected a wall so thick that people scarcely penetrate it. Well it seems like that.

I put off the aura that i dont care. That im apathetic. But inside im screaming. Crawling with agony. Im in a constant mixture of extreme emotions both positive and negative. But why would i let anyone know that? Why am i saying any of this now on here?

Because no one will know. No one is going to find this post. No one is going to find this shitty blog. So i can just sit here and scream into the void. I do care. All those moments when people come to me looki g for affection or attention. All those times i subconsciously willed them away. I dont know why i do it i just do. I want you to know. All of you to know that i do care. I just dont know how to express it. I dont know how to open up and say with my heart and with my mind. That i do care. And i want you around.

Loved ones that i used to hold dear. My apathetic nature drove you away to the point where i let you go. Not for my sake but for yours. And youve moved on. Which is fine. Far better than the alternative, truly.

Same with friends. I ignored and put off meeting and talking with you until the wedge was so deep that we had nothing in common. You found someone else to talk to. Someone who eould treat you better and outwardly enjoy your company. Again, better than the alternative.

And that brings me to todays...dump i guess. Ive isolated myself yet again. To the point where i have no one to talk to. Theyve all moved on once again to find people who will engage. Someone who isnt so apathetic. Someone genuine. And i am left wanting. Needing. Looking onwards. I dont want to approach. I dont want to say anything. I sit back and let it run its course because at the end of the day. The happiness of others is far more important than my own.

But then again am i just projecting? Am i just trying to rationalize my own toxicity? Am i genuinely that terrible of a person? Ive been called toxic in the past. I initially thought it was just a throw away word because these days everything is toxic. Words hardly mean anything amymore due to over saturation. I never thought much on it.

But now im sitting here in my isolation. Wondering. Am i a bad person? How do i know? How can i change? What went wrong?

Am i just being pretentious? See even writing this post i hate every aspect of it. Its all just a straight dump from my brain at this moment. A snapshot of this current moment. Of this current state of mind. I will 100% look at rhis in five minutes and hate it to the point of deleting it. But i wont. I guess. Archival purposes. Perhaps one day i can look back on it all and find some pattern or something of meaning. Maybe itll all just be a bad memory in the future that i can look back at and laugh.

I doubt it.

Everything i create. Everything i say, do, think. Its all is shit. Theres no reason to this. No method to the madness. The only place any of this bullshit belongs is in the vast emptiness of the internet. Where no one will truly ever find this garbage. Let it rest here. And never find light.

[crackimagines]

Did someone say FLUFF?! Say no more, I gotcha! If it hasn’t been done yet, could you try something with Ashe and Lysithea with their fear of ghosts? It’d be funny to imagine him leaping into her tiny arms at the mere mention of a ghost 😝

I’ll tell ya this much, I’ve NEVER seen that done in any imagines blog yet.

I’m glad I have the honor of doing this, because well…

Thanks for the ask anon, I hope ya enjoy!

Post Writing Note: I was listening to the Outlast soundtrack as I wrote this and DAMN IT THAT WAS TOO FITTING, I was just as terrified writing this just as they were in this story ;-; oh god, i turned this fluff ask into a fucking horror story

—–

Things that go bump in the Monastery (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Ashe and Lysithea are at the library late at night, and hear something…

…Despite they’re the only two there.

—–

It was very late at the Monastery, yet the lights upstairs to the library were lit. Ashe shrugged and thought it was another student cramming for the upcoming exams. 

He had come to the library to read one of his favorite tales as a child, as embarrassing as it was to admit. 

When he entered the library, he heard it starting to rain outside, which made him sigh.

“Oh great, looks like I’m going to be here for a while…”

He continued inside and saw Lysithea reading a book, and sure enough, it was material related to their class.

“Oh, hello Lysithea.”

“Hm? Oh, hi Ashe. I didn’t think anyone would be up at this hour.”

“Same here. Need me to leave you be?”

“No, it’s fine. All I request is that you keep it down for a bit.”

“Sure thing.”

Ashe nodded and went towards the shelves to find one of the books he was looking for and-

CLUNK!

“…Ashe, I did not take you as the type to play idiotic jokes after a polite request.”

“Uh, what?”

When she glanced up from her book, she realized nothing around Ashe could’ve made that sound.

“Wha-…”

She looked behind her and saw a book fell onto the ground.

“Oh sorry. I thought you made that noise. I think someone forgot to put a book back up properly.”

Ashe shrugged and went over to the book to put it back up. As he went back to the shelf, they heard the same noise again, only from a different location.

Both of them stiffened up and waited, but the sound did not reappear. He slowly grabbed his book and quickly walked over to Lysithea.

“D-Do you mind if I sit next to you?” Ashe said, noticing that he was becoming more tense.

She grunted in response, but truthfully she was just as tense as he was.

Once he sat next to her, the air slowly began growing more intense. Not because they weren’t saying anything, but because that noise had starting appearing again.

“A-Ashe…I swear if you’re making that noise-”

“Why would I do that? More importantly, how?!”

“Hmph! Hang on a moment.” She got up from her chair and went towards the stairs.

“HEY, WHOEVER’S MAKING THAT NOISE KEEP IT DOWN!”

C R A C K !

Lightning immediately struck, scaring them almost to death, and at that moment, the candles went out.

Both Ashe and Lysithea screamed and fell to the floor.

“C-Crap, I can’t see!”

“Hang on!”

She casted a spell that acted as a floating light source, and now they were able to see. The room was far too dark for either of their liking.

They both made their way slowly to each other and started looking around.

“T-There’s…no ghosts here, right?” Ashe said shakily.

At the mention of ghosts, she immediately latched onto Ashe, shouting yet at the same time, holding onto him even tighter.

“D-DON’T SAY THAT! Ghosts c-can’t be at the monastery! I-It can’t be!”

CLUNK!

Both of them jumped, looking around for the source. It sounded like it came from behind this time.

“H-Hey…how about we head back to the dorms?” Lysithea asked.

“No need to ask twice…!” 

They both slowly backed up, trying not to make as much noise as possible.

Once they reached the stairs, Ashe started hanging onto Lysithea. Under normal circumstances, both of them would’ve been blushing messes, but Goddess knows THIS WASN’T NORMAL.

As they walked down, the noise from earlier became louder and louder. When they reached a corner, they hesitated for a moment before turning it, seeing an empty hallway with nothing but blackness in it.

Both had shivers down their spines and slowly began walking towards the next flight of stairs.

Neither of them dared to say anything, too afraid that they wouldn’t be able to hear anything if it snuck up on them.

C R A C K !

Another bolt of lightning struck, this time so close they could feel the building shake.

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Ashe screamed out, and instinctively jumped. Lysithea managed to catch Ashe, and she was barely able to hold him. The light she casted went away as soon as she did, scaring both of them even further.

“H-Hey! C-Calm down! It’s just the-”

CREEAAAAAAK!

Both their eyes went wide, and slowly turned around. 

If it was a teacher or a guard reprimanding them, that they could take.

What they couldn’t take however, was the fact no door opened behind them, despite sounding so close.

Ashe got down back onto the ground, wanting to say sorry but couldn’t find the words. 

“A-A-A-Ashe…?!”

Her voice was shaking heavily, as if she were about to burst into tears.

Ashe held her hand tightly, in hopes that would help her feel better, but honestly? He felt like doing the same.

“U-Um…n-not to w-worry! I’ll protect you…!”

She held his arm with both of hers, and both quickly walked to the stairs not bothering to be discreet. 

Instead, they ran into something.

No, someone.

They fell to the floor and slowly looked up-

“ H e l l o ?“

(Ashe and Lysithea)

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

They immediately bolted for the opposite direction, tears coming out of both their faces, Ashe holding onto Lysithea’s arm.

At that moment, the figure pulled out a candle and lit it.

“Oh…I think I scared them. Brother, I think your experiments made 2 students run away in terror.”

Seteth came out of the room, and looked down the hallway.

“Is that who I was hearing? Hm, I must apologize to them once I find out who they are.”

Ashe kept dragging Lysithea, his pure adrenaline keeping his legs from giving out. He could tell she was slowing down, but like hell he was going to! He may not know her well, but he was not going to abandon her in this goddess-forsaken place!

When they were reaching the entrance, a candle lit aflame and they turned around. It made their heart lighten up a little, but there was no time to be lost.

“PROFESSOR BYLETH!” Ashe shouted.

“A-Ashe? Lysithea? What’s going on?!”

They both grabbed onto his arms, absolutely terrified.

“G-GHOST! THERE’S A GHOST UP THERE!” Lysithea said through tears. Ashe was saying something, but Byleth nor Sothis could make it out.

Byleth didn’t have the heart to tell them it was just Flayn and Seteth up there who were making that noise, and instead offered to comfort them.

“H-Hang on, why don’t you two sleep in my room?”

“ANYWHERE BUT HERE!” Ashe finally blurted out.

Byleth quickly nodded, and got an umbrella as they quickly ran back to the dorms.

Once they reached his room, he had them sleep on his bed, using his blanket and pillow. 

They all attempted to sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen.

Ashe and Lysithea almost died as far as they were concerned, and were hiding under their blankets lying extremely close to each other, eyes wide open. Byleth was on the floor with a mere sheet and a pillow, lying awake.

(Sothis) “…Being a therapist is under your job description, right?”

(Byleth) I am going to have some VERY stern words with those two.

For once, Byleth was the one to reprimand Seteth, and both him and Flayn apologized profusely to Ashe and Lysithea. 

Sothis knows they won’t be revisiting the library for a while.

…On the plus side, the two began hanging out more after that.

———

BONUS:

FLAYN-BUSTERS!

IF THERE’S SOMETHING STRANGE

IN YOUR ACADEMY

WHO YOU GON’ CALL?

FLAYN-BUSTERS!

IF THERES SOMETHING WEIRD

AND IT DONT LOOK GOOD

WHO YOU GON’ CALL?

[flamehairedwritings]

Cups

Characters: Chief Jim Hopper x Female Reader

Words: 1,661

Rating: M, 16+ ONLY

A/N: Hello! Welcome to Christmas Drabbles 2018! For the next seven days I’ll be posting a drabble every dang day with a festive theme. I hope you enjoy and happy holidays!

Summary: Based on the prompt ‘Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party’, by @alloftheprompts

MASTERLIST

CHRISTMAS DRABBLES 2018 MASTERLIST

Please don’t copy, steal or repost my work; credit does not count.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Oh, here we go.

“Excuse me?”

Arching an eyebrow, you place your hands on your hips as you turn to the source of the gruff voice.

Chief Jim Hopper looks at you incredulously, his hands also on his hips.

“What. The hell. Are you doing?” he repeats in that slow way that immediately makes you feel like a complete idiot.

Clenching your jaw, you raise your eyebrows. “What does it look like, Chief Hopper?”

“It looks like you’re hangin’ tinsel on the holding cells.”

“Oh, so your eyes do work.”

You turn back to your task, a hint of a smug smirk on your lips as you hear him exhale a long breath. You were always able to push your luck because what could he do? Fire you? Yeah, well, maybe, but on what grounds? Stating the truth?

Just try me, Hopper.

You were always just that little step ahead, and he hated it.

“You can’t hang tinsel on the holding cells.”

“Do please tell me why.”

You can practically hear his teeth grinding together. “That’s where we keep suspected or confirmed criminals. We can’t have it lookin’... Jolly.”

“Yes, we can.” You finish sticking two ends of tinsel together and step down from the chair.

And you leave your response at that.

Turning away from him, you move back to the box of decorations, rummaging through it for the multi-coloured lights you’d seen and fallen in love with earlier. Finding them, horrendously tangled, you thrust them in Hopper’s direction, not looking at him.

“Do something useful and untangle these.”

You hear that deep, irritating sigh of exasperation as he takes them and sits down heavily in the nearest chair, getting to work as he mutters under his breath.

If only he’d known Flo had also picked you to decorate the Station. He would have stayed right the hell away. Maybe even gone across to another state. Taken a whole damn week off so he didn’t have to see or think about you.

What he wouldn’t give for one day of relief.

“Come on, honey, come and dance.”

Smiling widely at Flo, you shake your head, your bell earrings tinkling with the motion. “No, I’m all right, thank you, Flo. Maybe after I’ve had a few more of these.” You raise your cup a little. “Then I’ll be able to dance like, oh, what did our delightful chief call it last year... A newborn foal with roller-skates on.” 

Flo tuts as she moves closer to your side. “Like he can dance any better. Oh, no, I mean, you are a good dancer, honey,” she swiftly continues when you arch an eyebrow. “Oh, you know what I mean. Oh, if only you two would get along, you have so much in common.”

You snort, raising your cup to your lips. “Yeah, well, he should apologise.”

“Can’t you just let it go and shake hands?”

“I’m not that big a person, Flo.”

It had been three years since you’d started. Three years since The Incident. Since... Since he’d... What had he said again... Urgh, you can’t remember the specifics but it was something incredibly patronising and you hadn’t just let it slide and it had snowballed from there and here you are today.

Staring across the office floor at him.

Your skin prickling in that way it always does when he’s near.

Your heart beating just that little bit faster.

Unable to stop staring at him.

“‘nother beer, Chief?”

Hopper lifts his gaze from his nearly empty bottle to the one Powell holds out to him.

“Yeah, thanks.” Setting the one in his hand down on the table, he accepts the fresh bottle, raising it to his lips for a sip. 

Powell stands at his side, gazing out at the cramped dance floor you had somehow made the space for, desks and chairs shoved aside.

“Hey, didn’t she wear that dress at the Thanksgiving party?”

Calvin Powell looks to his chief, then to you, then back to Hopper. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Dunno, just...” Hopper shrugs, lifting the bottle to his lips again as he mumbles, “Make an effort, you know.”

Powell raises his eyebrows. “Says the guy who wears the same shirt to everything.”

“Yeah, but, you know... Women,” Hop finishes weakly, wincing slightly in instant regret.

Powell’s eyebrows rise even higher. “’Women’?”

Apparently relenting to the fact he has to commit to the words that somehow came out of his mouth, Hopper clears his throat and shrugs. “Yeah... Women.”

His officer stares at him. “Uh-huh. Women... Mystifying, aren’t they?”

“Mhm.”

“Annoying when you can’t figure ‘em out, isn’t it?” He watches Hopper stare at you, watching you converse with Flo.

“Mhm.”

“And it’s even more annoying when you wanna go over there, ask ‘em if you can get ‘em a drink and apologise for being a damn idiot all the time.”

“Mhm─” Hopper’s gaze flicks over to him, his eyes narrowing.

Powell shrugs.

Clearing his throat, Hopper opens his mouth, to say what he has no God damn clue, when his eyes find their way back to you and you’re heading into his office.

“What in the hell...” he mutters, irritation swiftly rising within him as he sets his bottle down and strides after you, leaving Powell staring after him.

“How can we have run out of cups already? Hopper was meant─ Well, there we go actually, Hopper was in charge, that’s how we have.” Exhaling a short breath of frustration, you then smile at Flo and pat her shoulder gently as you pass. “I’m gonna go and get some cups.”

Placing your cup down on the nearest desk, you round it and push through the small swing door leading to Hopper’s office. Opening the door, you head inside, not bothering to turn the light on.

Hopper being Hopper, he’d vehemently opposed you using his office as a decoration base but you’d ignored him and stored boxes in there when he hadn’t been looking. Which had actually been easy to do because he never looked. Not that you minded. One bit.

Surveying the array of boxes, you try and remember which ones the cups were in.

Oh, God, where the hell has he put them...

“What are you doing?”

You exhale a low, exasperated sound, opening the nearest box and starting to search through it. “Getting more cups, officer.”

“Did you not put enough out?”

“The drinks table was your jurisdiction, Hopper, it’s the only thing you got excited about. The most excited I’ve ever seen you, actually, I didn’t know it was possible.”

“I get excited about things.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“Knowing you’re not gonna be in.”

You snort.

Wait, what.

You hadn’t been able to help it. You’d snorted. And not a dismissive snort. An amused snort.

And neither of you know what to do.

So you both ignore it.

Clearing your throat and mercifully finding the cups, you pull them out, turn and move to the door, pushing the wrapped stack into Hopper’s hands as you pass him.

You’re so close to the door, so close to freedom and pretending that never happened, when Callahan appears in the doorway.

“Oh, shiiit, look who’s under the mistletoe!” he grins, dangling the fake arrangement above your head.

“Oh, God, never, Phil,” you reply, incredibly grateful for the distraction and trying so hard not to smile.

“Nah, c’mon, you two.”

“‘You tw─”

In taking a step back from Callahan, you meet a hard wall behind you. 

Not a wall.

A Hopper.

The Chief clears his throat. “No, Callahan.”

“Come on, just a lil’ peck.”

“Calla─”

“Smooch, smooch.”

“Phil─“

He raises the mistletoe higher. “I won’t let you pass and I reckon I could take you both on. Get in to the Christmas spirit, guys, c’mon.”

“Christ, fine,” you mutter.

You tilt your head back and lift your chin to kiss Hopper on the cheek to just get this over with... but he’s turned his head, too. 

Your lips meet his.

Gently.

Gently? 

God, you thought kissing Hopper would be uncoordinated, he’s a complete mess of a man, frankly, but this is... This is nice, no, wait, anyway, you don’t spend a lot of time thinking about kissing him so─

Your lips are still against his. You haven’t pulled back. And neither has he.

He seems to realise it the same moment you do.

Drawing your head back so quickly you almost strain a muscle, you stare at him as he stares at you.

Even Callahan goes quiet for once.

For a few seconds.

“Okay, who’s next!” he calls out as he turns and zones in on the next victim.

You and Hopper are still looking at each other.

Your cheeks feel warm and his mouth is open, like he’s fighting for something to say.

He finds it. “Right.”

“Right.”

“Okay.”

You want to kiss him again.

Oh, God.

Clearing your throat, you nod and turn away, start walking, pause in the doorway, and then clear your throat again.

“Put the cups on the table, Hopper.”

“Yep.”

Lifting your gaze, you find him still looking at you.

Oh, God.

“Okay, so I’ll─”

“Actually...”

You blink, slightly startled that he’s interrupted your attempt to leave this situation he should no doubt be also finding awkward. 

There’s something in his eyes, though, something that you can’t look away from.

“... I remember tellin’ you you couldn’t put all this shit in here.” He drops the stack of cups into a box beside him as he moves towards you, and you don’t move.

Standing before you, looking down at you, he reaches behind you and pushes the door shut.

Suddenly, pressed against him, your head leaning back against the door, you can name what’s lingering in his gaze.

Lust.

And you know he can see it in your eyes, too.

“What are you going to do about it, Chief?”

“Somethin’ I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

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