#i feel so lonely and worthless i just want to cry

[bunnihearted]

sometimes i truly do feel so isolated and alienated because even if people on here are lonely and sad they still have friends and partners and they're capable of having jobs and getting educations ... and im like ok wow im like actually the only one who doesn't just "feel" those things but also is completely worthless and insignificant. cool 👍

[moonlightpirate]

Why am I letting one person make me feel like this? Why can't my heart be as hardened as it is in the time in between?

[mcflymemes]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - THE ANTHOLOGY BY TAYLOR SWIFT PROMPT LIST *  assorted lyrics from the album, some lines slightly adapted for meme purposes but feel free to adjust as necessary

even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you.

trust me. i can handle a dangerous man.

i love you. it's ruining my life.

does it feel all right to not know me?

i am who i am 'cause you trained me.

quick. tell me something awful.

i loved you the way that you were.

we were just kids, babe.

i can fix him.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

you said i'm the love of your life.

way up there, i actually love it.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

do you hate me?

did you think i had it in me?

what if i told you i'm back?

i still miss the smoke.

i'm not trying to exaggerate, but i think i might die if it happened.

you look like stevie nicks.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

i still can't believe it.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

didn't you hear? they called it all off.

it's happening again.

my friends say it isn't right to be scared.

i might just die.

fuck you if i can't have us.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?

no one's ever had me... not like you.

stay away from her.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

i don't think you've changed much.

that's where i was when i lost it all.

life was always easier on you than it was on me.

i hoped you'd return.

do you believe me now?

what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

what are the chances you'd be downtown?

is it something i did?

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware.

i'm not a donor, but i'd give you my heart if you needed it.

looking backwards might be the only way to move forwards.

the story isn't mine anymore.

what a charming saturday!

none of it is changing.

wild winds are death to the candle.

one bad seed kills the garden.

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

this place made me feel worthless.

i didn't want to come down.

everything had been above board.

blood's thick, but nothing like a payroll.

you can mark my words that i said it first.

the professor said to write what you know.

all of this to say, i hope you're okay.

your words are still just ringing in my head.

i built a legacy which you can't undo.

who do i have to speak to to change the prophecy?

the effects were temporary.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i guess a lesser woman would've lost hope.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

you're a professional.

long may you reign.

you're an animal. you are bloodthirsty.

now i seem to be scared to go outside.

i don't believe in good luck.

i hate it here.

if i'd been there, i'd hate it.

only the gentle survived.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

are you still a mind reader?

let it once be me.

i haven't decided yet.

i still dream of him.

i'm so afraid i sealed my fate.

it was always the same searing pain.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

it wasn't a fair fight or a clean kill.

she used to say she wished that you were dead.

tell me all your secrets.

they tried to warn you about me.

you're in terrible danger.

i'm the life you chose.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

no one asks any questions here.

tell me i'm despicable. say it's unforgivable.

i'm running back home to you.

you should see your faces.

you knew the price going in.

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

i don't ever want you back.

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

am i allowed to cry?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.

they're going to crucify me anyway.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

[bliss-in-the-void]

No bc Satoru has this whole hallucination-dream-limbo sequence where he’s talking to Suguru about how he wanted to give Sukuna his all to get through to him and show him how he understood his loneliness only to have Suguru go “…you’re making me jealous.”

As an author, what Gege did here is genius because that is such a loaded statement to make in response to Satoru processing his fight with Sukuna. It can mean so many different things and we, the audience, are free to interpret exactly how Suguru meant it.

On one hand, you can say he said he was jealous because he wanted to be the one Satoru fought with all his might. He wanted to be as strong as Satoru, to match him in prowess, and hearing that Sukuna was the one to do it instead made him jealous.

On the other hand, you can say that he said he was jealous because Satoru recognized that Sukuna was lonely and wanted to get through to him, something that he was too late to recognize in Suguru when he was descending into madness, and that in turn made Suguru jealous because it was as if Satoru was saying “I recognized the loneliness in him and wanted to do something about it” when he failed to do that same thing with Suguru.

I personally interpret it the second way more (the first one is very valid, but I just see things the second way), because of the next lines.

He made Suguru cry. While laughing. Once again, holy shit is that such a loaded scene. What did Suguru’s tears mean? We have never seen him cry before. Not when Riko died, not at any point when he was losing his mind, not even when he died by Satoru’s hand. So why, when Satoru said he wished Suguru was there to wish him luck before he fought, did he finally get brought to such strong emotion that he cried?

Was it because he was happy to hear that Satoru still thought of him, even in his final moments?

Was it because after all these years, Satoru never thought ill of him and pictured him there beside him, and he was relieved?

Was it because he regretted making the choices he did that led to him not being there by Satoru’s side?

Or, in a very indirect way, was it an admission of love from Satoru that made Suguru happy?

I wonder that, because of these panels from Chapter 238:

Kashimo asked Sukuna, “if you’re so satisfied being alone, why did you refuse to die and turn yourself into cursed fingers?”

Sukuna’s response is, “Love is worthless. I’ve never needed anyone to satisfy me.”

Which is a directly opposing statement to the one that Satoru had just made to Suguru.

Sukuna: I only have to worry about myself and I get to do as I please. I am satisfied by myself. I don’t need love.

Satoru: I worried about everyone else my entire life and I was controlled by the society. I was not satisfied, but I would have been if you had been there with me, Suguru.

That. Is. Powerful. Those panels imply that love is what made Satoru weak. He did not feel complete because he didn’t have Suguru. He had all of the power in the world, he had status, he had students that depended on him, other friends even, and he still was not satisfied because Suguru wasn’t there.

Sukuna on the other hand recognized how detrimental love was because of what it did to people, how it made them weak, and he decided he didn’t need it.

Those panels were such an indirect-direct conversation between Satoru and Suguru.

Essentially, they were saying:

Suguru: You fought with all of your might and I wish that you recognized my loneliness so that I could have been there with you

Satoru: I was at the peak of my power and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I was allowed to go all-out to fight yet I just wanted you to be there with me

It’s just. Ugh. They’re saying they want each other in the most infuriatingly roundabout way.

[dayasusays]

“loneliness as love” partly 18+

bruce wayne x fem!reader

words : 1315

tw / cw : partly sexual content, hard sex, angst, “i know who you pretend i am” stuff, reader is wearing lipstick, mention of exes

for better experience :

you’re just two lonely people trying to pretend to love each other.

as bruce fucks you, gripping your hair you moan muffledly, biting your lip; he's rough tonight, his thrusts fast and precise, hitting the sensitive spots inside. you whimper as wayne puts his fingers to your mouth and smudges your lipstick, making you lick a couple of phalanges: another fetish you don't even know where it came from.

as bruce gives you one last kiss, you close your eyes for a second and imagine that you are loved. imagine that you are not in bed with someone who comes just to fuck, but with someone you love and who loves you back.

you stare at the ceiling, trying to realize what just happened. you promised yourself last time that the next time he came over, you'd say no and tell him like it is: you don't just want sex anymore. but for some reason, you couldn't get a word out of yourself when wayne came close to you and asked how your day was, how work was today and what you had for dinner. smell him and gasp with desire in the same second; feel his hands on your waist and sigh quietly, trying to be closer; feel him inside you and almost cry at how good it felt.

you promise yourself again that you'll stop; that you'll tell him to stop when strong arms pick you up to carry you to bed.

but now, with bruce towering over you, you realize again that you can't say anything.

"i love you," you hear him say as he snuggles closer to you.

"love". wayne always whispered that worthless "love" as if he needed an excuse for all of this; when he fucked you so deep and rough, he kept whispering "love", making you moan wildly; when bruce got up, got dressed, and left, he just kept quiet. and there was no hidden "love" in his silence.

"you don't," you squeeze out, pulling away from his lips, "stop saying that. please," you sigh, your fingers lightly pulling back the material of his suit and going over it.

"you always liked it."

"and i don't like it anymore," you bite back, covering your eyes, "just stop."

and wayne nods slowly, pulling you back into the kiss.

when you open your eyes, all you see in front of you is bruce's face. beautiful, with half closed eyes and a little bit of blood; but it's bruce.

bruce wayne who comes to your house every three days to fuck you good. bruce wayne who whispers that goddamn "i love you" and it doesn't mean anything. bruce wayne you wish you could see someone else in.

you cling to his shoulders and reach for him. kissing so desperately, as if you'd suffocate without his kisses; as if he were a lifeline that would finally help you get rid of these stupid feelings. finally save you from these eternal thoughts and give you peace.

"are you okay?" bruce asks, pulling away and looking into his eyes.

you're not okay.

you know it, but you don't dare answer the question; because wayne was nothing to you. he's nothing now, he was a friend years ago, he was your first boyfriend a little earlier.

but now he's nothing. he's just a sex partner.

"what about you? are you okay?" you answer a question with a question and notice his blue eyes sparkle in the moonlight.

bruce doesn't answer either.

it all makes sense now.

you're not okay and neither is he, which is why you're here now.

in the bedroom of your apartment, kissing and trying to pretend to love each other so that this endless emptiness will just go away; no matter what ways, because it's just unbearable.

feeling unloved hurts. thinking that it will be like that for the rest of your life hurts even more.

so here you are, clinging desperately at wayne and feeling the same desperation in return as he leans closer to seal a kiss on your lips.

when you pull away, you stare again into his soft blue eyes, which are also staring into yours.

you find yourself wanting to cry as you look at bruce: the bat emblem on his suit, the bloodstains on his face, the three-day stubble, the pressed lips.

you see bruce wayne in front of you. batman. gotham hero.

you bury your forehead into his chest, squeezing him in a hug and whispering something inaudible; all he can make out is an apology.

"are you okay?" he repeats his question again, but a little softer.

"no," you say softly, pressing your cheek against his, "and you?"

he doesn't say anything.

and he has absolutely no idea how it started.

you were his friend. then you were his girlfriend. then you were his sex partner.

you broke up peacefully when you realized that love just ran out. and there was nothing wrong with that; it seemed so normal that you just decided to stay friends.

you were there for him when he was going through the most difficult moments of his life, you comforted him and you always knew when and what to say.

at one point you just slept together. and it happened again and again and again until you were distant from each other.

and bruce is sorry.

he's been sorry so many times, and he's wanted your friendship back, but it just seemed impossible.

"are you okay, bruce?"

"no," he feels like he's confessing to the worst crime in human history. "i'm not okay. we're not okay."

he's putting some of his truth into this conversation, and you can't help but agree.

you see bruce wayne in front of you, he sees you in front of him.

and it pains him to admit that when he opens his eyes, he wishes he saw someone else.

you're not her.

you're not the woman who made him feel that flutter in his chest; who kissed him on the rooftops at night; who, at one point, was everything.

"i'm sorry," you whisper, hugging him again.

"what are you apologizing for?"

"i dunno... for all of it," you chuckle bitterly, nervously running your fingers over his.

you're apologizing because you realize you want anyone but him in front of you.

"don't," bruce whispers back, leaving a kiss on the top of your head that means it's okay, "it's not your fault."

he wraps his arms around you, squeezing you as tightly as he can, and says a name that doesn't even remotely sound like yours.

"i miss her," wayne confessed.

"i know," you parry back, pulling away and kissing him again, as if that's supposed to help, "i wish i was her."

he looks into your eyes and swallows when he sees tears in them.

and you both face the ugly truth when you realize how alone you are.

so much so that you call each other when it's completely unbearable; when you need at least someone around to hug, kiss, and eventually make love have sex with.

you almost feel sick at the thought.

"i love you," he says so quietly that only you can hear; so quietly, as if he doesn't want the world to hear it, as if it's almost a secret. and from his lips it sounds like a release.

"i love you," you repeat after bruce, pulling him in for another kiss that feels like salvation.

"i love you" is like "i'll save you" as you throw life preservers to each other and don't notice you're drowning yourself.

"you" and "him" as the "we" you might have become when you bump noses before kissing and apologizing to each other.

"loneliness" as "love" as he looks into your eyes and cries for the first time in over a year.

you're two lonely people trying to pretend to love each other.

ty for reading !! 💌

[imaginedanvrs]

my demon gave me everything

part 5 l masterlist

summary: dark!natasha romanoff x reader. Natasha Romanoff saves the world. Morals, lifestyle and past aside, the fact is that she puts her life on the line for everyone else. And for this, she believes she’s owed something. She saves billions of lives on the regular, so why not take the occasional one for herself?

word count: 3.3k

warnings: established kidnapping, abuse, power dynamics, strap on sex, breathe play, degrading, manipulation, hints of stockholm syndrone

“Fuck,” Natasha grunted, voice raspy from the pleasure you were able to give her. “Keep that pretty mouth there.” She ordered as her hand gripped your hair tighter and forced you to stay put with her cock touching the back of your throat. You looked up at the assassin with watery eyes, a sight that only drove her to buck her hips up more and make you choke. She let up at that and was  kind enough to give you a few seconds to gather more air into your lungs before she was forcing you back onto the toy. 

  That time, you took your time in licking the underside of the toy and humming around it. The redhead was feeling generous that day and brought out your favourite strap, the one that filled you up just enough without giving you too much of an uncomfortable ache. Natasha’s breathing picked up again at the visual, of course not being able to actually feel it but loving the sight nonetheless. Her throaty moan of approval made you throb and you brought your mouth down to the base to apply some light pressure to her clit.

  Natasha never let you touch her, so times like that were your only opportunity to make her feel even remotely as good as she made you feel. She had never let you continue for long enough to make her cum, something she only did in the security of her rooms upstairs as she pictured those very scenes. Though when she saw how into it you were getting, she gripped the back of your head and forced you down to the base without letting up. You squirmed between her legs and scratched at her thighs but she only grinned down at the sight of your defiance. 

  “Fight a little harder, detka, you can do it,” she cooed condescendingly as you struggled in her grasp. You looked up at the redhead, pleading and wide eyes and wholly desperate for some relief. She let you off and slapped you for not fighting hard enough. You almost toppled to the floor but Natasha’s thighs held you upright enough and she was hauling you onto the sofa with her within a second anyway. 

  “I love seeing you cry around me,” Natasha breathed heavily as she pulled your underwear down and nestled between your legs. You were too disorientated at first to register either until she pushed the head of her strap against your cunt. “You always look so pathetic,” she smiled and thrust the toy inside without another word. Natasha was never gentle when she fucked you. She was rough and careless and only seemed to strive to make you feel worthless. Despite yourself, you cherished every second. Even if you didn’t think you wanted it, Natasha soon showed you otherwise and had you putty in her hands before you could think too hard about it. 

  That was how it was every day, though things grew lonely quickly. You were never much of a social person, in fact, you had labelled yourself a house mouse to numerous people proudly. In all honesty that was partly down to you not feeling like you fit in anywhere or not being comfortable around enough people to ask them if they wanted to hang out and so over time you found yourself  enjoying your own company more often than not. But you got lonely a lot. You craved company and just didn’t know how to obtain it. So in a sense, it was no surprise that in a matter of a few days the isolation got to you, especially as Natasha wasn’t the best company. 

  You found yourself falling into a routine with the Russian. You would wake up without her and spend the majority of the day sketching, (finding your pencil freshly sharpened each morning), staring out at the city, missing your home until your head started to hurt from crying, then finally waiting for Natasha to come back. Sometimes she was just upstairs but stayed there for the same duration of time. Then the evening would arrive and she would bring you some dinner or make some and sit in silence on the sofa for several hours before fucking you however and where ever she pleased. That was the only time she truly acknowledged you. When she didn’t have her hands on you, she wouldn’t even answer you when you talked to her. It drove you up the wall at first but now it was starting to ache as the loneliness set in. Consequently, you craved the sex because it was the only time you didn’t feel so alone. You still hated Natasha. A lot. 

  You spent a lot of your time thinking of all the ways you could hurt her. Not even necessarily to escape, just to be a painful inconvenience. You thought of hiding in cupboards and jumping out at her with a knife to stick her gut. You thought of splashing boiling water in her face. You thought of smashing up all her plates and glasses just for the sake of making her have to buy new ones. You doubted it would cause her any financial distress, but it would be annoying. However you never had the nerve to attempt a follow through of any of those ideas, knowing the torment it could cause you in return. 

  Sometimes you wondered if it would be best just to stop fighting all together. To let go of your hatred for the redhead and let yourself succumb to loneliness. But you were always swift to remind yourself that thats’s not what Natasha deserves. She doesn’t get to have you give in so soon. Because you did not want to be there. You wanted to go home to your small apartment, not live with an Avenger in a condo. 

  On one of those days, Natasha still wasn’t home by the time the sun had long since submerged itself beneath the city and the sky was darkening. When specks of white were caught in the black net, the redhead still showed no signs of returning and you considered two possibilities. One, that she had been injured on a mission and that you could be dead by the time she gets back. Or two, that it was some twisted test on you to see exactly how you’d fend for myself when Natasha wasn’t around. 

  Eventually, you laid down on the sofa so that you were facing the door at the top of the stairs. You stared at it for several minutes as you considered the two possibilities and let your mind tunnel down both rabbit holes before eventually succumbing to the exhaustion of what they could both entail. Neither good, but were they still better than Natasha returning home before they could play themselves out?

  It was 2am when Natasha finally arrived home. You were fast asleep on the sofa where you had been for hours when she strolled down the stairs. The redhead knew how long you had been there because she had been examining the camera logs on her return flight from the mission, yet she was still mildly surprised to find you still there and even more so that you didn’t stir to the sound of her boots hitting each step with a heavy thud. You were both tired. 

  Natasha crouched down in front of you, watching as you slept soundly amongst her blankets. She knew you had trouble sleeping, between being in a new environment, not having your stuffies and being uncomfortable next to her, but clearly the exhaustion had finally won. The Russian gently moved the hair away from your face so she could see you better and wondered if the weariness was going to bring your breaking point closer. Natasha knew you were lonely and that it was making you crave the sex, but your hatred was still there, a contrast she saw in a few women but not to such an extent. It seemed you were stuck in the vortex of your own turmoil and consequently made it harder for Natasha to seek any answers on just how much longer you would be in that apartment. You had only been there a couple weeks but if you arrived at the point where the Russian were to kick me out in a few days, you still would have been there longer than a couple. Then again, perhaps it would go the other way and you would persevere for a couple more months and make it longer than anyone. The longest stay was two months and four days. 

  Natasha placed her slightly roughened hand against your cheek and let her thumb graze over the small scratch under your eye where the spy had caught her nail ‘accidentally’ on you the last time she slapped you. She smiled at the look of shock you had everytime she did it, as though you couldn’t believe it would happen again. Natasha’s smile broadened when she remembered how wet you got as well. 

  The redhead’s gaze focused when you showed signs of waking up, the slight furrow in your brown and your eyes moving beneath your eyelids and as you shifted, you leaned into Natasha’s touch with a content hum. The spy smirked at that and rubbed her thumb gently in a circular motion that made you smile sleepily, chasing the foreign feeling of tenderness. You allowed your eyes to flicker open and meet the older woman’s but it was only after several moments of slow processing that you realised what you were doing and shot back against the sofa away from the redhead with a scowl. She chuckled at your antics and her smugness made you want to hit her. 

  “Come to bed, detka,” Natasha called as she strolled away, still chuckling to herself. You cursed internally and tried to ignore how the warmth of Natasha’s touch was still lingering on your cheek. You hadn’t felt such warmth before, not from anyone. You had always hoped you would feel it from a girl you loved someday, from someone who made the butterflies in your stomach cheer with glee, not try to hide. 

  You followed Natasha through to the bedroom where she had already stripped down to just her shirt and slipped into bed beside her, already anticipating however she was going to touch you that night and certainly not expecting it to be the way it was. The redhead immediately wrapped her arms around you and pulled you against her chest where she held you close. You tensed, awaiting her next move that never came. Instead, Natasha continued to hold you until her breathing steadied enough for you to wonder if she had fallen asleep. 

  It was just like the first night when she held you. But that had been after sex and she hadn’t held you since, leaving you to wonder what she was doing. Perhaps she was merely too tired to do anything else, you gathered that it was late although you still had no access to anything that told you the time. 

  You tried to relax in her hold as hypothetically it should have eased your loneliness, but you felt suffocated. It was too much. She was too close and holding you too tight and you didn’t know how to adapt to the change in routine, so you lay there wide awake for a long time. It was then that you started wondering what exactly it was that Natasha was looking for in having you living with her. 

  She treated you like a prisoner, not letting you leave, not giving you access to the outside world, only being able to eat and drink what she provided and not having your own clothes. Not to mention the power scales. And yet part of you wondered if she was just as lonely as you were and that she merely wanted a companion. She wasn’t soft with you and didn’t seem to even really like you all that much, but there she was holding you as she slept. You had no idea what it was that Natasha was striving to find, and you weren’t convinced she knew herself. 

*

"Want a pb&j, detka?” Natasha asked from the kitchen. You could have laughed at that, surprised that such a ruthless and deadly assassin enjoyed such a snack.

  “I’m allergic,” you called back from the sofa where you sat reading one of the novels the redhead had leant you after you finally worked up the nerve to ask. The drawing became tedious when it was all you did for eight to ten hours a day. 

  “To what?” Natasha replied without a beat, staring into the back of your head with a frown. She had your medical records and there was nothing about any food allergies. There was no way she would miss that and it unsettled the redhead that there was something like that she didn’t know. She was meant to know everything.

  “Peanut butter,” you said simply without looking back. “Well at least I think I am. I had a weird little reaction once but I never got tested because I didn’t like it anyway,” you explained as Natasha came over to the sofa and placed a cup of tea down in front of you instead. 

  “We better get that sorted then,” she muttered, intending to get a test kit as soon as she could to answer that question. You shrugged in vague agreement, not feeling the pressing need like the redhead did.

  Things had shifted in the atmosphere of the apartment after the night Natasha held you as she fell asleep. For one thing, you were able to fall asleep swiftly and stay asleep, as though the redhead’s hold was enough to keep you from unwanted consciousness. You didn’t want to believe that that was the cause of the end of your insomnia, but when Natasha did the same thing night after night and the same effect happened, you knew there was no point denying it to yourself. You never revealed this discovery to the Russian though you had wondered if she had noticed herself. 

  Though it wasn’t just during the night that things had made a gradual change. While still tense, it felt as though there was a touch less hostility with every passing moment, as though you didn’t have to be constantly on edge. You still knew that if you tried anything with Natasha all of that would fly out the window, especially as the redhead was no less rough when she fucked you and continued to make it clear that she didn’t give a second thought to hurting you, but the rest of the time she seemed…pleasant. 

  You were still scared of the Avenger. You also still hated her, though maybe hate had become too strong a word. Your desire to go home remained strong, especially when the redhead was in a bad mood, and you knew Natasha wasn’t about to let you go anytime soon, a fact you continued to shed a tear about when you were in the shower. It didn’t help that she had started watching you a lot too. You could feel her eyes burning into your back more often than not, as though she was still waiting for you to make some sudden attempt at escape and you never knew how to act under her intense gaze. 

  However, sometimes you woke up with her still laying next to you and you found it to be something you appreciated. It made you feel less alone. She started talking to you as well throughout the day, just the odd comment here and there about anything from when she was going out to and her occasional enquiry about your life, though you always dismissed those questions. She still didn’t get you a clock but if you asked what the time was she would tell you. A couple times you had asked for the TV on but she continued to deny you that until the third try. 

  You watched as Natasha pressed a few buttons and fiddled around with the back of the screen before it flickered to life and the news started playing. You could feel the redhead’s eyes on you as you sat back and turned the volume up so you could hear the presenter's voice clearly. You didn’t want to miss anything, wondering if perhaps there was even the slightest chance you would be there. People had to know you were missing. It had been…well I wasn’t sure exactly how long but it was definitely long enough to be declared missing surely. 

  The news went on for an hour, covering stories from all over the world with countless kinds of issues being mentioned, but you weren’t one of them. You knew that that would be the case, the Avengers would never let any awareness be brought to your disappearance when it was connected so closely to one of their own, but you couldn’t help but hope. Natasha Romanoff was untouchable and you were nothing. 

 You wondered how many people actually knew you were missing or if they had been given a story about you moving back to England early or even dying. Either way, it was being kept on the downlow. No one was looking for you. 

  You turned the screen off when the channel changed to some reality show you didn’t recognise, you weren’t in the mood for reality. Instead, you tucked your feet up on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling, dwelling in your feelings of emptiness until Natasha’s hand slipped around your back and pulled you to her to rest your head on her shoulder. You didn’t protest, instead closing your eyes and imagining you were somewhere else with someone else who was doing the same thing. 

  “Don’t worry about the rest of the world, malysh. This is where you’re meant to be,” Natasha cooed with a kiss to your head. For some reason, you didn’t feel entirely shit about that. And you think the spy knew that.

  While Natasha could tell you still weren’t exactly her biggest fan, she was able to see that the hatred had started to weaken into plain dislike. She had known before she had taken you that you weren’t the kind of person who was able to hold onto such bitter feelings, even under such testing circumstances. It had certainly helped that Natasha was giving you what you had secretly been craving for as long as you could remember: a woman’s touch. Granted it wasn’t in a context you ever could have foreseen, but it was something. 

  For Natasha, it wasn’t enough yet. Refraining from you unless it was to fuck you had certainly pushed things along, but the redhead had grown bored or the same routine and wanted to try something else. There were many games Natasha had up her sleeve that she could play and some of them she was just itching to try. She had made your body betray you but your mind needed something different, something to help lul it into a false sense of security, so she had been pleasant and watched, giving you the attention you had desired but didn’t have any clue what to do with when you finally got it. 

  You were still weary of the redhead, but not as weary as you wanted to be. You were fully aware of how your walls were starting to crack and you couldn’t seem to do anything to stop it. Which led Natasha to ponder the same question as you were, how badly did you really want to leave? So the redhead went about setting up the same test she had pulled numerous times in the past that had always provided the same results. Would you be any different? Natasha hoped so, it would be nice to have a change. 

[kingshigarakitomura]

its kinda sad but you'r my reason to live 🫤

Shigaraki Being Comforting Headcannon

———————————————————————————

Shigaraki//non gender specific reader. Detailed description of depression, implied suicidal ideations, mentions of alcohol, PLF arc.

You sat next to Shigaraki at the PLF’s upscale bar. He was alone, playing on his switch, just trying to pass the time while waiting for his injuries to heal and enjoy some peace and quiet.

You felt lonely too, and have looked up to your boss since you joined the league in the very beginning. Proud of how far he’s made it.. how far we’ve all made it.. but you can’t ignore the quiet depression lingering in the background of your mind. Even in moments of celebration, it’s there. It’s always there, following you like an unwanted entity, feeling as though it is forever attached to you.

Today was one of those days where the depression got louder. You could no longer bury it or push it away, it was demanding for you to feel its presence, to acknowledge it and face it. You felt heavy, empty, and alone, even though you were surrounded by people all the time, the feeling of worthlessness embodied your soul.

You were more quiet than usual, normally you talk a lot or at least smile at him and ask about his games, but not today. You just sat there staring at your drink as if you were looking through it. He couldn’t help but notice. “Either drink it or don’t, it’s creepy that you’re just sitting here like this”

Without looking away or moving, a tear falls down your face, changing his tone as one of his comrades is feeling pain. “Hey. Don’t just sit there and cry, tell me what’s wrong?”

You respond in a quiet and shaky voice, continuing to not move an inch, frozen in your tragic state, “it’s kinda sad but.. you’re my reason to live”

He doesn’t say anything.

Shigaraki just stares at you for a moment, his mouth slightly ajar as he is trying to choose his words carefully.

“Why does it have to be sad? I’d say that’s a great reason to exist” he grins.

You don’t react to his shitty joke. He then takes a sip of his drink and his voice becomes more serious.

“Look. That’s the reason I’m trying to change this rotten world. To destroy it. Will there by anything left after? Who knows really… but it’s better than living in a world full of pseudo-hero’s and all the dumbass people who worship the ground they walk on. The rejection felt from those around us will only grow stronger and more powerful each day until we do something about it. That’s why you’re here with the league right? Because you want to make a change too? So don’t do anything stupid to jeopardize that. You’re an important player in this game, you’ve survived this long with the issues you’ve had to face and deal with, what’s a little longer? Get angry, and fight back. I need you.”

Note from author:

It’s my first ever headcannon/short fic so I’m sorry if it’s bad or boring >.< I just wanted to spice up the ask responses a little bit if I can.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

person who is sooooo normal about ray talks about the end of episode 10, what it confirms, what it introduces, and what it may even promise:

"can you please forgive me?"

starting off with this line.... there is a specific brand of betrayal and hurt reserved for the people who feel like the only ones in the world that can make you feel loved. we've seen ray get angry and even lash out at the other characters before but we haven't seen him breakdown the way he did in the sandray apartment fight. i think i took ray saying that he finally was starting to understand his feelings more in episode 9 too lightly, because it seems he meant more then just "i think i like you too" kind of thing, i wouldn't be surprised if ray realized the love he felt as well, and not just romantic love but the "you've seen so much of the ugliness in me but still stayed" kind of love and, if im gonna be bold, acceptance.

"you can be angry or hate me all you want"

lines like this tell me two things, the first being the guilt ray feels over the way he treats people and the second being how much pain he thinks he deserves for it. though i will say this time it feels different then in episode 4 where ray asks sand to call him a burden, because before he wanted sand to hurt him back (a bit of retaliation a bit of self-harm even) but this time he is asking for sand's understanding and forgiveness. he still thinks he deserves it, but now its more then just asking for someone to hurt you in order to reconcile (we will get to the fact sand isn't really there don't worry) there is a sort of emotional growth is what im trying to say.

"i know now that you want nothing from me"

this is also such a huge line for me. we know ray views himself as worthless, he would rationalize why anyone would want him (this is why he was so hurt about sand accepting money from his dad but that's already been meta'd to death so i won't get into that), so him not only thinking but verbalizing that sand is someone who is kind to him without expecting anything in return is huge for ray's ability to see himself as more than a burden or his father's money. in fact, i'd say him admitting this here means he is already beginning to gain a sense of self-worth.

"though i've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me"

this is the part where we really see ray break. im not good at reading other people's emotions so im not gonna comment on what emotions the actor is trying to portray (tho he is portraying some big ones goddamn), from a text stand point, im interpereting this as pain. I talked before a bit about guilt but i'd say at this moment the realization that someone can care for him so deeply that the parts of himself he's sure are not only unlovable but hurtful won't drive them away, causes him a lot of pain. as someone who is bad feeling cared for or appreciated as a person and sometimes acts like a dick about it, i too would break apart at this moment.

"please understand me"

now this is the line that inspired this post in the first place. he struggles with the connections he has with others but you can see how lonely this man is. like he has been told he is a burden, he interperets his life events and the way other people treat him as proof he is fundamentally unlovable and bad luck for anyone he gets close to, and he is a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.

when he asks sand to understand him he's asking sand to look deeper then his self-sabotoging and attachment issues and see the love and care he has that he struggles to understand and feel and express. he is filled with so much pain how could it not start to infect everyone around him, but from what we see of him, he probably never wanted to hurt other people in this way to begin with.

i think the reason this line specifically broke my heart is that, so much of his behavior at times can be interpreted as a subconscious cry for help, help he won't except but help he needs anyway. i knew any arc involving ray addressing his addiction would destroy me because there is the pain experiencing the things i mentioned above, the pain in thinking you're helpless to them, and then the pain in doing what it takes to try to move forward from them, like this shit is hard. the clarity ray is able to adress imaginary sand with is so incredible even though its in his head, especially given how stubborn he'd been about admitting any issues in the first place.

"being with me requires some patience"

all that i said above and more... i don't think ray will get over that feeling of being a burden any time soon if he ever does because it becomes so ingrained in your worldview and the way you interpret other people's behavior. i like the way this line is phrased (i know its a translation but still) because it alludes to him feeling that he is capable of being loved, it'll be hard but not impossible.

"but if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. i get you"

remember how i just said i think he now believes he's lovable... well actually i still mean it. he's been constantly told and shown how his behaviour and mentality are hard to deal with, like he thinks his existence is so burdensome it killed his own mother BUT he now knows sand is different. he won't blame sand for not wanting to deal with him, he's always been aware of his shortcomings but can now honestly address the effect his actions have on others, and at the same time he knows that its possible to care for him.

this is why i think sand is his motivation for going to rehab, he's shown ray what is possible for him in ways no one else before sand has.

"but please know this"

there is something so special about the impact sand has had on ray that i think goes beyond their relationship. sand made ray see the value in having a future, in being loved, in being happy. in episode 8 ray tells sand that he's finally happy when they spend time together, and it may seem like he's repeating it here but again this sand is imaginary. he's not saying this to get sand to answer his texts or hang out with him. he's imagining his reason for wanting to recover from addiction. like the weight this scene carries at least triples for me everytime i remember sand isn't really there. this was such a beautiful choice to make imo like ray saying these things to sand would probably be good for their relationship but it wouldn't have the same impact on ray's character arc.

my conclusion is once again don't know why i rambled on besides, ray as character was manufactured in a lab to drive me insane. like i've triggered my mood disorder twice over the course of watching this show but i wouldn't take it back for even a second. i love ray, i love what we've seen of his mentality and backstory, i love that we're seeing him making the decision to address his addiction, i go numb with the thought of where his arc will go next, but i especially love seeing everyone come together to scream about this character that means so much to me (not at all subtle reference to the fact i've read hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone by @jgyapologism what three? times now) anyway hope we all continue to scream about him this week. 🫡🫡

[f1letters]

bejeweled | ln4

"and I miss you, but I miss sparkling"

summary: after a triple-header where they couldn't see each other, things got even stranger when her boyfriend seemed totally uninterested in spending time with her. so, she took matters into her own hands

warning: a little bit of angst, but fluff ending, mentions of a long-distance relationship, Lando being an uninterested boyfriend, reader feeling ignored and worthless, reader being petty, mentions of alcohol, swearing, reader trying to make Lando jealous, mentions of McLaren's bad 2022 season and Danny leaving the team (crying 😭), not proofread

pairing: lando norris x reader

word count: 2.7k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

masterlist

Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind

Didn't notice you walkin' all over my peace of mind

In the shoes I gave you as a present

Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five

And by the way, I'm goin' out tonight

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'

Y/N couldn't keep count of the number of times she had heard this phrase being said during the past two years. 

She prayed that people were right. That distance would make their relationship stronger, their time together more special, their appreciation for each other bigger.

She hoped her heart would mend every time he came back home but in all honesty, she just felt... lonely.

From: babe

only a few more days and the torture is over, can't wait to kiss you again gorgeous, miss you 🧡

Y/N read Lando's text over and over again, daydreaming about their reunion after so long apart, as the driver had three races in a row at Spa, Zandvoort and Monza.

It didn't matter how many times Lando called or texted. How many times he expressed how much he missed her. How many times he said how excited he was to see her again.

In the end, it was exhausting spending her days simply waiting for him to be there.

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Suddenly, the jingling of keys on the other side of the door caught her attention. Y/N turned towards the entrance where she saw the image of her boyfriend appear through the darkness of the night that filled the apartment.

Quickly getting back on her feet, the girl rushed to him, hugging the boy desperate to return to her arms. His body relaxed as soon as it made contact with hers and Lando let him pull her as close to him as possible.

"Fuck," Lando whispered against his girlfriend's forehead, whose tears of relief now streamed freely down her cheeks. "I can't believe I'm finally back home."

"God, I swear it was the worst weeks ever." The girl confessed, although it was common to be apart for a long time since her work did not allow her to follow him most of the time. "I've missed you so much, Lan. So much."

Grabbing her gently by the sides of her neck, the driver looked straight into her bright, tired eyes. "Me too, baby. But now we have two weeks to ourselves."

For a moment everything fell into place. But it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down again.

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

After spending the night lying next to the boy she loved, Y/N couldn't control all the excitement she felt inside her chest.

Very early in the morning, the young woman got out of bed, leaving the sleeping man behind, and headed to the kitchen where she went all out to celebrate his first morning back in Monaco.

With the utmost care and love, she cooked just about everything: scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, you name it. And as soon as everything was ready, Y/N returned to the room and jumped on top of the British man, now awake on his phone.

"Good morning, sunshine!" The girl said, as she hugged his hips and laid her head on his stomach. "I made the best breakfast ever just for you, baby. So you better be hungry." 

Her laughter was quickly interrupted by the boy's surprising coolness towards her. "Good morning, but I think I'll pass. I still feel super tired from the flight, so I'm going to stay in bed a little longer." Lando set his phone back on the bedside table and, running a hand over the top of her head as an act of apology, continued. "I hope you don't mind, love. It's just for today."

It's just for today, he said.

The next day, still under the wave of happiness, Y/N tried her luck again and decided to approach her boyfriend again to make plans, now that he was already feeling more energetic and recharged.

Lando spent the morning jumping around the house, so when Y/N saw him walk back into the room, she dropped to her knees in her seat, turned around and leaned on the back of the couch.

"Lan, what if we went out to dinner at that Thai place we went to last month?" She asked, her head turning slightly as she remembered their meal. "I swear I'm still thinking about that Pad Thai."

Lando continued his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to get some water. "Hmm, maybe another time. Don't feel like going out."

And with only a few words, he disappeared again into another room of the house.

On day 3, the girl was caught off guard when she saw her boyfriend with a backpack on his back and his hand on the doorknob.

"Hey, where are you going?" She questioned, curious.

"Just going to the gym with Carlos." He replied, eyes on the phone in his other hand.

"I thought you were tired." She blurted out. At that moment, the persistent girl decided to be direct and confront him. "Is there something wrong? You've been so distant lately."

She had barely seen him even though the two of them shared the same house. It was getting embarrassing how much she tried to engage in conversation with him, only to get rejected every single time.

The driver just spat out a string of words, including 'busy with business' and 'training', but nothing soothed the uneasiness she felt in the pit of her stomach.

Baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl

Did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve

I think it's time to teach some lessons

I made you my world, have you heard?

I can reclaim the land

And I miss you

But I miss sparklin'

It just didn't make any sense.

What happened to the 'week to ourselves? To all the 'I miss you' and 'I can't wait to see you' he said?

It got to the point where she was even starting to question every time he told her he loved her.

A week passed, and in a last attempt, Y/N walked up to her boyfriend and placed her hands on his shoulders, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

"How about we watch a movie, cuddled a bit on the couch…?" She suggested, whispering close to his ear.

Lando placed a hand over one of his girlfriend's hands, looking back to meet her gaze. "Sorry babe, but I'm going to stream with the guys now. Maybe later."

Maybe another time. Maybe later.

She had been a little too kind and she was done playing nice.

It was time to teach him some lessons.

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Y/N entered her room and confidently walked to her closet. She knew exactly the garment she was looking for and as soon as she laid eyes on her shiny bejeweled dress, she picked it up.

Leaving the clothes she wore behind on the floor, she changed into the stunning dress and sat in front of her mirror, curling her hair and doing her makeup.

Her eyes ended up dark and smoky, perfectly adorning the determined and vengeful look on her face.

Grabbing her small Prada bag, Y/N walked to the room where Lando was already streaming, catching the driver's attention.

"Hey, I'm already live." He warned her, as he turned to see his girlfriend. Laying his eyes on his girlfriend all dressed up, a nervous shiver ran down his spine. "Where are you going looking all polished up?"

"Don't wait for me for dinner," She answered coldly, even though she knew the people in the comments were going to have a field day with this. "And by the way, I'm going out tonight."

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

As soon as she walked into the room, she made the whole place stop with the shimmer of her dress under the spotlight.

If Lando wasn't going to give her the love and attention she deserved, she sure as hell was going to give it to herself.

Y/N was finally done with letting her worth be determined by a man, even if he was supposed to be the love of her life.

Sapphire tears on my face

Sadness became my whole sky

But some guy said my aura's moonstone

Just 'cause he was high

Walking towards the bar, the young woman couldn't help noticing the eyes that fell on the fascinating and beautiful image that she was.

At that moment, although she missed him and the good times of their relationship, she was reminded of how much she missed sparkling.

Y/N ordered two tequila shots and drank them without missing a second. She now felt prepared to start the night, leaving her problems behind.

Dancing as she made her way to the middle of the floor, the girl began to sway her hips to the music, between the hot bodies glued together in the room.

Tonight was all about her.

And we're dancin' all night

And you can try to change my mind

But you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do?

A diamond's gotta shine

Back home, Lando couldn't shake the feeling of apprehension and anxiety that gripped him.

As much as he tried to keep his good spirits and attention on his friends, his followers and the game, his mind was elsewhere: her.

His eyes roamed the chat as he interacted with some of his fans until one of them made his heart stop beating for a second.

teamlandofewtrell: have you guys seen Y/N photos clubbing? I smell trouble in paradise lol

The man cleared his throat, trying to maintain his posture. "Guys, I have to go now, but I'll see you very soon!"

Without further explanation, Lando grabbed his coat and the keys to his McLaren and headed towards her.

And as soon as he entered the club, he immediately found her.

The furious boy walked over to her, grabbed her arm and pulled her to a more sheltered corner, only to find her surprised and upset eyes.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" He shouted over the music, unconcerned by prying ears. "First you make me look like an idiot on stream, then I find out you're alone in a club doing who knows what. Are you all right in the head, Y/N?!"

"You're worried now, are you?" The girl laughed sarcastically. "That's fucking rich."

"You have to be fucking kidding me. It has to be." Lando ran his restless hands through his hair nervously. "All because I didn't want to see a movie with you today? That's it?"

"Today, of course. The problem is from today." She continued her ironic tone. "You know what, Lando? It's about time you realized that just because I made you my world doesn't mean I can't claim the land."

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Lando was shocked by her confrontational words, as it was a side she rarely showed.

"Stop this nonsense, Y/N." Lando snapped, gripping her arm with some force. "Let's go home now, and tomorrow we'll talk when you come to your senses."

Out of nowhere, a man approached the couple. "Hey, is everything okay here? Do you need some help, babe?" He asked her.

Y/N recognized him as the vocalist of the band that was performing when she first arrived at the scene.

"It's okay, thanks." She replied, freeing her arm from her boyfriend's hold and letting her burning eyes lay on Lando's face. "This man was about to leave."

"If you need to come with me, feel free to join, gorgeous." The singer said, looking her up and down. "Do you have a man? 'Cause if you don't, I sure could be yours for tonight."

Even though she was uninterested in the man's suggestive proposition, she couldn't pass up an opportunity to entice the driver. "I don't remember."

"She has a fucking man, now get the fuck off." Lando spoke out aggressively, having no patience left for her foolishness.

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

"You have the nerve to show up here playing the role of the victim when all you did this whole week was ignore me," Y/N yelled, losing her mind. "Day after day, I made a fool of myself and tried to approach you, to make plans with you, to do the things I know you like to see if you would change your shitty attitude but nothing."

"From the second you arrived, the only thing I got from you was a cold shoulder and indifference. And honestly, I'm fed up, fed up with your behaviour when all I did was wait for you, all alone and miserable, while you fulfilled your dreams."

Lando remained glued to the ground, unable to move as he tried to assimilate all the angry words she spat in his direction.

"So if you have anything else to say to try and ruin my night, you might have to wait in line because I don't have the time to do so right now."

And we're dancin' all night

And you can try to change my mind

But you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do? What's a girl gonna do?

I polish up nice

Eyes to the floor in embarrassment, the driver gently grabbed her hand. "You're right, I'm so sorry, love."

"What?" She blurted out, not believing the sudden change in him.

"You're right, I've been an absolute prick to you lately," The boy looked into her eyes, his gaze filled with regret and sorrow. "Those last three weeks weren't just bad because I was away from you. It was bad news after bad news and I just ended up taking it out on you unfairly."

"Lan, you know you can talk to me about anything." She softened and stroked his hand. "What's wrong?"

"Everything, honestly." He sighed, saddened. "The car is shit most of the time, I can't seem to get out of 7th place ever, Danny is leaving the team next season and, as if it couldn't get any worse, I spent all weekend getting asked about it like I had some power over the matter."

Y/N knew her partner was feeling especially down over losing yet again another teammate he really cared about, so Lando's anguish came as no surprise.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, really." Lando apologized again. "You didn't deserve all of this."

"Baby, I'm here for you. Always. Through thick and thin." Y/N brought her lips to his, letting her hands grip his curly hair as she leaned into his kiss. "Let's have some fun, dance a little, and make up for lost time, what do you think?"

"Lead the way, gorgeous." Lando kissed her again before she led him to the centre of the floor.

Gathered in their bubble of love again, Y/N, who once shone like a jewel, now shone like a true diamond with the light of her life reflecting on her side.

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

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(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[zhivaoverdrive]

Pirska-2, Chapter 4 (interlude)

This story was on hold for a long time. I promise I am attempting to take it somewhere interesting, if you eat your vegetables first it might turn into a good story. Chapter 7 is being finalised. Chapter 4

And so she walked through the dark snow of Vladok.

Having neglected to take one of the stupid coats, not out of principles, but they had developed their own aura.

Being cold was the better alternative.

But she was alone now, barely a car on the street much less a person to be seen.

In this solitude, the long tail of the Pirska began to rattle around, the thoughts were harder to block, but didn't seem to sting as deeply.

Something had almost made sense back there.

Hana tried desperately to untangle her problem, all while the counter-balancing force waned and the fissure beckoned.

Candy didn’t seem to live much of a life, it seemed to contain only sex, tragedy and helplessness.

Perhaps it was the right idea, wrong execution. Perhaps the ramblings of a drug addict.

Hana stopped by a parked car, not a bad looking one either.

Oh well, cars are warm. It’s a long way back to my hole too..

Hana kicked the window in. The alarm blared but she knew what to do next, this wasn’t new.

The first wave of nausea hit, the snow she saw began to shift to static, pulsing with the blare of the alarm.

Hana strained and shut the alarm off, barely able to see, operating from muscle memory.

She could just make out the controls, but she started the car, then cranked the heater and the auxiliary gas turbine.

She set off on a slow directionless cruise.

The nausea hit again, fortunately she was sitting down.

Feeling around in her pocket, Hana retrieved the practically worthless collection of Alpha.

It wasn’t worthless, in fact it was worth a good amount of money. But only to people who were complete.

Vaporising Alpha barely made a dent in the static, it was likely killing her too. Maybe less than worthless.

She wound down the window and threw the cassette of Alpha out. She’d never be able to find it, even if she wanted to.

Hana tried to establish a loop, think about driving, obstacles, and make it home.

But it wouldn’t stick.

She shifted uncomfortably in the seat, the nausea and static may have been bothering her, but something more concrete was poking into her hip.

She stopped the car and began fumbling around for whatever useless crap was poking into her. The things people leave in their cars…

But when her hands opened the hidden pocket, a familiar scent escaped. It smelled like Candy.

Her hands shaking, Hana removed the Pirska-2 vials and vaporiser from her secret pocket. In an instant she understood how they must have got there.

She screamed, but no-one heard.

“That… fool. Helpless fool” sobbed Hana

“She’s given me her secret supply. And the vaporizer. She’s… ”

Hana tried to clamp the thought down. The selfless actions of the doomed Candy.

Doomed to be an incoherent rambling mess, until that man ‘saved her’ once again.

Hana wasn’t done crying yet, but she loaded up the vaporiser.

She’d have one, then think. Maybe she’d find a way to go back.

Moments later, the scene came back into focus.

She saw the snowy ground, the haphazard way she’d “parked” the car.

Her thoughts slowed down to a pace she could deal with.

It just… was not acceptable to waste this act of kindness. It must be repaid.

Hana thought and thought. She WOULD go back.

A movement outside interrupted her, a lone figure in a long coat, walking to a car.

“The fucking coats…” she muttered to herself, the Pirska-2 controlling what may have otherwise been another episode.

It was undeniably one of the men from the alley. A Heavy. A Heavy from the club.

Like slipping back into a comfortable pair of shoes, Hana let her instincts take over.

She cut the lights and turbine, she slunk down in the seat.

“Let’s see where you’re off to”

—

It presented little challenge for Hana to follow a goon like this.

Even on the quiet streets of Vladok, it was no obstacle.

She hung back, even when the trip took her far beyond the city, beyond the port she’d called ‘home’.

By the time the Heavy reached his destination, her first vial was beginning to wane.

Hana parked in the darkness, some distance off, she would have to move quickly now.

But the direction was clear, the hulking mass of a wrecked container-ship was hard to miss, out here in the middle of nowhere.

It may have been waning, but Pirska-2 propelled Hana through the actions she’d performed so many times before.

She’d closed the distance and made her target in no-time.

The trunk of his car left ajar, he walked a strange, indirect path through a clearing, heading towards the gaping mouth of the ship.

Remaining hidden would pose a challenge without nanotech, but her instincts were there.

Silently taking her final vial, she understood this was a definitive moment.

*Make something happen. In an hour you’re done for*

The minefield would be no trouble, she had observed the safe path.

Hana felt the blade in her hand, silently retrieved from the Heavy’s trunk.

Make something happen…

—

It took a few hours, but the only two people inside the container-ship covered a lot of ground that night.

Uncovering of the huge Pirska-2 stash.

Threats, captivity. Violence.

Discovery and demonstrative use of an experimental anti-nanotech explosive.

Even explanation of motives and subsequent offer of absolution.

But Hana and J.Q left the ship with an understanding of each other and what lay ahead.

[rosazoldyckk]

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐗 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⚠️TW⚠️ Mentions of the reader thinking they are useless and unworthy, reader pretty much hating on themselves.

PS: YOU ARE WORTHY!! You are awesome asf so please don't let this fanfic trigger any negative thoughts! you are worthy, capable and fucking spectacular and pls don't forget that!! Love you sm ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

1095 words

You had no one before him. Everyone else had left you. Eventually you gave up in trying to convince them to stay. Nobody tried approaching you due to your closed off nature. No one but him. Chrollo Lucilfer, the head of the infamous phantom troupe, or Chrollo as he likes you to call him.

You knew something was off about him, but you didn't care, because he was the only one who was willing to get to know you and stayed after finding out more about you. Even if what he did was somehow considered borderline stalking. You didn't give a damn. It was nice having someone try for you, after so long of no one trying.

You don't deserve him.

Soon afterwards he convinced you to move in with him, which you agreed to. Ever since then your daily life has been confined to his estate. You didn't mind of course; you were glad someone cared enough for you. But also, guilty. He shouldn't love someone like you. Someone so horrible and disgusting. Someone who could barely do anything right.

You don't deserve him.

You wish you could do something to repay all he's done for you. But surely you would just mess it up like you do with everything else. You don't want to be more of an inconvenience than you already are. Why didn't he pick someone else? Someone much more talented or prettier than you? Surely, he could do better. It still confuses you to this day.

You don't deserve him.

You feel weak. You wanted to believe him, but you couldn't. You truly were a terrible person. But you couldn't help but continue to be suspicious of his intentions. What if he runs away from you after realising how horrible you are? What happens then? You'll have no one. You need him. You pray to all the God's imaginable that he'll never realise how ugly and useless you truly are inside. Maybe he already knows and is toying with you? Your mind keeps swirling with all these terrifying thoughts, making you want to bite your fingers off with fear in case any of it turned out to be true.

You don't deserve him.

You feel tears stream down your face. You try your best not to let out any noise. Even if no one is home. It hurts so much. Why did you have to burden everyone with your existence? The hate red you had for yourself was immense. Tears continued streaming down as you wiped your nose. You hated this. This lonely, suffocating feeling but you were always too scared to reach out. You wanted him to be here, holding you tightly in his warm embrace as he allowed you to cry into the fur of his coat, whispering sweet words of kindness into your ear. It was a selfish wish you know but you can't help it. You wanted him to bruise you with his kisses, to be lacerated open and stitched together, sharing both blood and skin. You wanted to lock your lips to his with no intention of breaking from one another. You continued crying. You longed to sink into the endless depths of hell with him if it meant you could belong to him in peace, but what God thought thought you were deserving of something so blissful?

Out of nowhere you feel a pair of familiar arms wrap around you.

"I'm sorry I took so long, my love. Now tell me, why are you crying?"

You back away, trying to escape. But his grip was firm. It felt like you would never leave his embrace.

"I don't deserve you... Why are you doing this!?"

"Hmm, because I love you. And of course, you deserve me. My standards are high, but regardless you are the one that I love."

"But I'm worthless! Someone as useless as me doesn't deserve to be worthy of your time! Please Chrollo...don't burden yourself with me..."

"I'll tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe me. You're none of these things your mind tells you. You are mine and I love you." He hugged you tighter, placing a firm kiss on your temple. "Even if others may think that. I will never. I promise."

You just sat there in his arms processing everything. You never knew how to respond to him. He's always so kind around you.

"But surely you could find someone better than me. I'm sure of it. One day you'll find someone who can give you everything I could only dream of giving to you." You sniffled, trying to hold back the tears.

"Even if I did, I would still choose you. No matter what. Because you are the one that I love."

"Are you sure? You aren't lying, are you Chrollo? Please promise me?"

"I promise you from the bottom of my heart. I would never lie to you." He paused for a second. "Come on my love, it's getting late. Let's get you to bed."

"Okay..."

He stopped hugging you and took your hand. He led you to your shared room. His hand were always so warm and comforting. He led you into bed, and you two just held each other, resting your head on the crook of his neck as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

"You are the beginning and end of who I am. You are everything I could ever care for and more. I'll rip my own veins out before I can love another. I'll praise every hair on your head, every breath you take, every glance you give my way. I'll never allow you to feel worthless again, love. You are my salvation. Your voice is my mantra, Your body is my church. I abandoned the faith of God a long time ago, but if it meant I could forever keep you close within arms reach, then I'll cry my prayers to the heavens for all to hear. Because I want you. I need you."

You really don't deserve him, but maybe for tonight you will allow yourself to believe. Allow yourself to hope that maybe you are worthy of him. Even if it's for a short time. You are at peace.

[bunnihearted]

hmm i like actually wanna kms

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.9

I don't wanna deal with this parrrrrrrrrt

Taylor. Taylor. I know you're getting desperate but come on. You can't write an email to the hero you and your friends publicly bodied on the same night that you did the bodying.

Nobody's checking her on her shit. Nobody who she should theoretically be able to go to for advice is equipped for this, or even inclined to help her. Danny would try, I'm certain, but he'd be out of his depth. Emma might have been a grounding influence for Taylor once upon a time but, haha, that is no longer an option. School is worthless to her, and her new (only) friends are the ones who are doing the crimes she's involving herself in, not to mention that she became their friend with the intent to backstab them.

...I wish she'd just talk to her dad about this shit. Her refusal to even try and explain it to him feels like it's tangled up in something she can't even name or describe. He's the closest confidant she has at this point, and that's not saying much, but for fuck's sake it should be saying something.

Fuck.

Fucky fucker fucking fuck.

You can't lie to someone you live with for that long about something that can be so easily fact-checked and expect to never get caught out. It's just not feasible.

God this is so hard. She's trying to spare his feelings, she's trying to not pin any of this on him, and it's not working. The fact that she feels like she can't trust him means that he failed to be trustworthy to her, somewhere along the way, and she won't even acknowledge that. She won't even sit across the table from him to talk about this.

Here's where Danny scuffs it, honestly. I'm not going to say he was even wrong to anticipate Taylor's avoidance, but hemming her in like this is only going to rile her up worse. I don't know what the right answer is. Breaks my heart.

I don't think it's fair of Taylor to lump her dad in with the others who've hurt her, in no small part because. This hurt that Danny's feeling, the pain that makes her twist with guilt and frustration, was damage she caused by lying to him, by pushing him away. She's been so lonely for so long and the one person who could've been an ally, even an ineffectual one, is the one she's kept at arm's length throughout all of it.

Even the violence, even the kicking and the breaking, is just a way to avoid telling him anything.

Just pull the bandage off, Taylor, please. Maybe the worst-case scenario happens but then you don't have to keep that poisonous cold lump inside of you. There's other reactions he could have, better ones. I don't think his love for you is conditional. I don't think

Okay so this is almost the right decision she's making, here

Yes! Be with your friends, make bonds that last, admit to yourself what you actually want

God fucking dammit

Straight up crying in the club rn

Tell him! Oh my god please just tell him. Taylor for the love of god please just tell him

Fuck

Lisa's just a kid, too. As much as she pretends otherwise, as much as Danny wants to believe her.

So. Fucking sad.

Current Thoughts

The Heberts break my goddamn heart.

Danny tried, but he pushed too hard when Taylor was already raw and accidentally put her in a defensive mindset, made her feel cornered, unsafe. And then when it came down to it, he still let her walk away. He let Lisa take her from him.

And Taylor. God. I wish she'd just let Danny support her. Even if he doesn't solve her problems, if she could just lean on him during the low times that could make such a difference. I think he could understand, maybe given time. He'd side with her before he'd side against her, no matter who was on the other side.

Another point of proof, I guess. Taylor's fate wasn't sealed from the beginning. It doesn't have to go the way that it goes. There were options, much as she can't see them.

And the roads not taken just make it hurt that much more.

Interlude next.

*sigh*

[daddy-bradley]

Crumble

(Not my gif!!! Credit to owner!!)

Summary: You and Bradley are having your first fight after your baby is born. How will you both come to a solution and learn to cope through this together?

Warning(s): Angst, cursing, mentions of parental insecurity, depression, anxiety, has a happy ending (Shout out to you hard-working mothers out there)

MESSAGE: (If you are someone who is dealing with depression, anxiety, etc. Please reach out for help. I know it may seem worthless, but I promise you, it'll help.)

A/N: Some songs I listened to for inspiration while writing this piece (Highly suggest you listen as you read!): He Deserves your Love - Sir, Selfish - Future ft. Rihanna, Glimpse of Us - Joji, Serendipity - BTS (Jimin)

"I don't have a say in when I get deployed. I don't know how many times I have to say this." the frustration in Bradley's voice was evident.

You had just been told that he was ordered for deployment and had to be shipped out for two months. Not even three months after your daughter had been born.

"I understand that when you are given orders you can't say no. I'm just upset that I'll be left here alone raising our daughter on my own." You stressed out to him as you tried your best to keep your voice quiet so your daughter would not wake up from her sleep.

"You won't be alone Y/N. You have Penny, your mom, the guys and Pete if you need help with anything. I can't do anything about this, so I don't understand why you're getting so upset." He was trying his best to hold back his frustration. He could feel his anger starting to appear, but he would never dare to lash out at you. At the end of the day you were his wife, and he was not going to mistreat you like that.

"Because you won't be here Bradley!" You finally revealed. The tears started to fall from your eyes, and you had decided to just let all your feelings become evident.

"You'll be gone at a place where I don't know if you'll make it back. Where I don't know if you'll be coming back to me and our daughter..." you hiccupped as you tried your best to calm yourself down.

As he was getting ready to respond to your concerns, you cut him off and proceeded to talk. He needed to know how you felt, or else he would never know what was bother you and make the situation worse later down the line.

"I know that this is your job. I know that this is something you love. But I also know that I cannot raise our daughter alone. I need you Bradley. Our daughter needs you. I don't want to have to face the day where she finally realizes you're not there and asks where you are and if you are coming home. Because I don't know when you will come home. I don't know if you will. You can promise me everything in the world, but at the end of the day, you and I both know that you not coming home is a possibility. And I don't want her to grow up without her father. I-I don't. Not, not like I-I did." the dam finally broke and this time you just let yourself cry, and cry, and cry.

It felt good to finally get this off your chest, it felt good to cry. But what you didn't feel good about was unintentionally making Bradley feel guilty about his career. You would never want him to regret dedicating his life to protecting this country. But, at the very least, he needed to know how you felt.

As you continued to cry with your hands covering your face, Bradley stood there and let your words sink in. He understands what you are feeling. He would never deny that him leaving you every time he had a deployment was hard. But he has a family now, and this time he would be leaving his wife and a child.

He knew that you being on your own without him can be lonely, but he also knew that would be the one taking care of the baby primarily on your own. Waking up multiple times throughout the night to feed and change her diaper, not get enough sleep, make sure to maintain the house, go to work, pay the bills, etc.

He watched you crumble in front of him. Your sadness causing a huge weight to your shoulders.Your gut wrenching sobs that you tried to control to not disturb your daughter. He knew the main reason why you were afraid to be on your own without him. you were afraid that you were going to have another depressive episode again.

After your daughter was born, he noticed after a couple of weeks that you weren't bonding with her as much as he was. The connection was not there. It wasn't until he came home one day to see you in bed, tears streaming, your hands in your hair, throat raw from crying as you curl up into a ball that he truly knew something was wrong.

He did everything he could to get you the help you need. To learn how to cope with your feelings. To build a better connection with your daughter. Overtime, massive improvement was seen and he was so proud of you. Your bond with daughter was now stronger than ever, and now everything she did consumed you.

Taking a step forward, Bradley pulls you into his chest. His arms are so tight around you, to the verge of almost suffocation. But you didn't even notice. Your arms instinctually wrapping around him as you cried in his neck.

"Everything is going to be okay baby." he soothed you as he kept you in his grip. He knew that you needed this, this type of security. It was one of the few things that made you feel safe.

"B-But what if-if it's not Bradley? W-What if I have an-another episode? I-I don't w-want that to-to happen?" you said brokenly as you thought about the past.

Pulling slightly away from you, he puts a finger under your chin to make you look at him. He needed you to listen and understand what he was going to say.

"Listen to me baby. You are strong, a very strong woman and a very good mother. I know you're scared of that happening again, but I know you are stronger than that." he started off as he gently wiped your continuous tears away.

"You gave birth to our daughter, you fought constant battles with your mind that affected your relationship with her, but in the end you won. You fought those demons, and now you are better than ever. " he leaned his forehead down to yours, your noses slightly touching.

"Its normal to feel sad every once in a while, and I know there is a chance that can happen while I'm gone, but you have to believe in yourself that you can overcome those moments and go back to being that strong woman that I know your capable of. Not for me, but for our daughter. Not having you both with me is going to be pure hell, I'm gonna have my moments too. But at the end of the day, I have reason to come home and that's you two. If I can do it, so can you. I believe in you, our daughter believes in you. And most of all, we both love you. You're strong baby, you just have to believe in it. "

And with that he gave you a long and hard kiss to your forehead, while keeping you in his arms. Your tears had stopped the river, but they were still there. You knew he was right. You knew that you could do this, you just had to make yourself believe that you can.

"I am strong." you whispered out as you kept your grip on him.

"You are." he replied back once he pulled away from your forehead.

"I am very strong." you said louder, although your voice was a bit wobbly.

"You are very strong." he praised you. He leaned down to give you a soft kiss in which you embraced whole-heartedly. Although you were still sad that he was leaving, you felt more prepared to look after your daughter when it was time for him to go.

"I'm a very good mother." you said, after the kiss.

"You're a wonderful mother." he said.

"I can do this." you stated firmly. This time, no hesitation, and no hint of stuttering in your voice.

"You can do this."

[konigsblog]

toxic! price/ regular price headcannons/general analysis? pretty pleaseee. (sfw and nsfw🥺) im trying to write him for the first time and im struggling!! (would also love to hear your general analysis/hcs on the other boys as well!) ((you’re like my favorite cod blog and you’re just so talented i had to ask you)

lots of love and well wishes<3

- 🥐

thank you so so much!!! im so glad to be your favourite blog, it means a lot to me <33 i cant thank you enough for your support, thank you 🫶💐!!;

price analysis, and toxic!price headcannons.

TRIGGER WARNING; HEAVY MENTIONS FOR SUICIDAL, SELF HATRED AND SELF HARM THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS, cheating, misogyny, being an ALCOHOLIC and addicted to alcohol, manipulative behaviour, price makes you feel worthless, being used for your body, toxic behaviour from price. (message me if i missed any)

my personal analysis. (read tw above)

price is a captain, he believes he's always right and never takes the blame for any wrongdoing - unless it's from a mission or death. he's an alcoholic due to the stress of the soldiers, their life on the line. laswell may try to get him to stop, but no therapy can help this hardened soldier.

he never really believes he's good enough. overworking himself and drinking multiple coffees to stay awake just to write hundreds of reports, rushed. he doesn't sleep, barely atleast. he'll stay up, contemplating suicide as he thinks about the many soldiers he's lost. it may be the reason he can't bring himself to start a family; the fear of losing everything, either from suicide, death, or his unstoppable alcoholic behaviour that only get worse as he continues to live.

he's definitely planned out his entire suicide, a gun always beside him. price tells people it's for safety, but is it really safety if the life that's on the line is his? that he could be pointing that at his forehead and pushing the trigger, guts and bloods all over the bathroom floor. but he won't, because of simon. simon views price as a father, how caring he is for the others mental health, no one ever checking up on him.

simon is like a son to price, the way he admires and looks up to him like a father, the father he never had and the son he'll never have. he's caring and affectionate which is why he wants kids of his own, to sew them bloom like a flower of gardens, pretty colours of crayons covering the white walls.

laswell and price had a relationship, both desperate for love after years without it. laswell realised she was a lesbian and price agreed that this wasn't the best relationship, because it wasn't. but a part of john didn't want to let go; saying he was unmarried in his forties felt odd, unnatural. he really wants someone to love, someone to care for him and give you a reason to stay, but without that, he's suicidal.

if he ever did let someone in, he wouldn't feel as if he deserves them, unlovable. pushing them away or lashing out whilst drunk, crying when you still comfort him despite his yelling. looking at himself in the mirror and seeing a monster - knuckles bloodied with pieces of glass stuck in his fist and layering the ground. forcing his hands into the shards to make himself bleed, believing he deserves pain. you wrap him up in gauze and keel him beside you, but he can never truly feel comfortable. the idea of being loved despite having blood stained on his boots makes his skin crawl. you deserve better.

personally, my analysis on his character is that he's cold-hearted and can't let anyone in even if he's so desperate for love, no one to warm his lonely heart. he takes pride in being a captain, his boys, his team mean everything to him. it's why he won't kill himself, won't pull the trigger on himself. he can't see gaz's face at the news, soaps humorous personality slowly withering away, or witness simon lose himself, losing the father that was never his.

toxic!price headcannons.

toxic!price who uses you for your body. he doesn't bother denying it; your tight pussy and perky tits, or when you suck his cock so nicely like that, drives him wild. you're mainly there to benefit him, like a servant, his slave.

gets so pissy when you don't listen. he's a borderline alcoholic and needs his beer, so when you get into screaming matches about his behaviour, he grits his teeth grabbing a beer from the fridge and gives you a cold hard look - not appreciating the efforts you put it to get him better.

toxic!price who's the biggest asshole you've ever met. who scoffs and rolls his eyes when you bring up feminism, saying something sexist or misogynistic just to get under your skin. or who doesn't care about your own personal needs, you're just some fucktoy he can use whenever he likes.

toxic!price who uses manipulative behaviour. who controls your lift and calls you a slag for mentioning enjoying some time at a bar, that you're just asking for attention. even if you tell him that you're just meeting with some friends, he'll force you back into the bathroom and make you wash away the makeup.

toxic!price who says you look ill when you don't have makeup on, that you look different (and he doesn't say it in a nice way.) he's the man to roll his eyes and say you look ugly when you're crying just so you stop making so much noise, who doesn't care about your personal feelings.

he pushes your body against his own as he sleeps, mindlessly, asleep. he doesn't do it on purpose but it gives you butterflies in your stomach, knowing you shouldn't feel this way about a toxic man like him.

he's cheated on you before, multiple times. he'd came home with women and made out with them on his lap, kissing them the same way you do, maybe nicer. god, you're lying if you say you didn't care, because you felt your heart break into a million pieces.

you don't know how to react, packing a few thingss into your purse and leaving the house, him throwing the woman off his lap to chase after you. forcing her out the house as he goes after you, grabbing you and pinning you against an alleyway wall, whispering aggressively to you under his breath. he genuinely doesn't really understand why you care so much, after all, you're just a fleshlight, right?

toxic!price who forces you to come home. and after that, he'll beg you for sex because that other woman didn't feel as tight as you did. it makes you feel horrible; insecure and lost. and he'll get all upset and annoyed when you refuse, that you're tired or not in the mood.

toxic!price who refers to you as a bitch, whore. he's the person to call you ‘woman’ as if it's a derogatory term, even though it's not. you'll berate him for this, “you're just a cumsleeve, doll, c'mon, let's be honest with ourselves.”

finding yourself between his thighs more times than not. your lips wrapped around his meaty cock while he forces you further down his shaft, complimenting you for being such a good girl for him - the only time he'll praise you; for sucking cock.

too bad he cums so much, all sticky and pearly running down your throat, making you gag from the smell of his musky balls and gross tasting semen. he laughs and forces your face into his balls, humping your pretty face when you refuse to suck his balls.

you broke up with him once and somehow ended up back in this mess, but now you're married and divorcing is too expensive so you're stuck with this dickhead forever :(

[reyesupreme]

Lyrics from Taylor Swift’s TTPD: The Anthology as placements in natal chart 🩶📜🕰️

Fortnight

“Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors. Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her”

— Scorpio/Aries Venus, Mars in Scorpio/8H

Tortured Poets Department

“But you're in self-sabotage mode”

— Sun in 12H, Gemini Moon, Pisces Venus, Mars in Cancer/12H

Down Bad

“How dare you think it’s romantic leaving me safe and stranded?”

— Aries/Aquarius Venus, Mars in 4H

So long, London

“And you say I abandoned the ship But I was going down with it”

— Virgo/Scorpio Moon, Venus in Virgo/6H

Florida!!!

“Little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in”

— Sun/Mars in 4H, Moon in 9H, Saturn in Cancer

Guilty as Sin?

Someone told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk"

— Capricorn Moon, Virgo Venus

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

“Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke then we could all just laugh until I cry”

— Aries/Scorpio Moon

loml

“You and I go from one kiss to getting married”

— Cancer/Leo/5H Venus, Mars in Libra

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

“I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday, every day”

— Moon/Mars in Pisces/12H

The Smallest man Who Ever Lived

“ 'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins. Instead I just died inside”

— Scorpio/Pisces/8H/12H Venus

imgonnagetyouback

“Whether I'm gonna be your wife, or gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet”

— Venus in Leo, Mars in Aries/1H

Chloe or San or Sophia or Marcus

“I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools. Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules”

— Venus in Sagittarius/3H

I Hate It Here

“You see, I was a debutante in another life, but now I seem to be scared to go outside”

— Cancer Moon, Saturn Retrograde in Leo/1H/11H

“I’m lonely, but I'm good

I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine

I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose

This place made me feel worthless

Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me

And in my fantasies, I rise above it

And way up there, I actually love”

— basically any 12H placements 😭🙌🏻

The Prophecy

“I've been on my knees

Change the prophecy

Don't want money

Just someone who wants my company”

— Moon in Aquarius/7H, Venus in Virgo, Saturn in Libra/7H/12H

The Bolter

“And I can confirm she made

A curious child, ever reviled

By everyone except her own father”

— Sun in 6H/8H, Sagittarius Venus, Saturn in 4H/10H.