#i feel so specifically targeted by this you have no idea. P&P is a comfort movie of mine (seen it too many times to count)

[rendevok]

the way you draw phoenix wright has bewitched me body and soul. seriously he is so perfect and i refer to you as "the artist with the sunset colours" because i always stop and admire the warmth and softness of your coloured works. thank you so much for sharing 💖

ANON…. YOU REALLY HIT ME WITH THE MR. DARCY (2005)? FR?

God… this made me cry tbh. Good tears of course. To know that something I fret over as a weakness is actually something that is rejoiced is just… what a gift it is to hear that. Thank you, with all my heart 🥹💜

[itsjaywalkers]

offering u some jegulus pirates of the caribbean au (except not exactly but u do get one of the scenes from the first movie) || 3677 words || no cws apart from james being a menace and regulus praying for his downfall (while also being lowkey attracted to him very much against his will)

“But he saved my life!” Regulus insists, starting to feel a little desperate, eyes jumping from his father, to Commodore Lucius, to the stranger who had jumped into the sea to stop him from drowning. 

“Yes, Regulus, we heard you the first time,” his father sighs, barely hiding the roll of his eyes. It’s enough to make some heat flood into Regulus’ cheeks, and he has to repress the urge to pout, or even worse, stomp his foot. “But, son, come on. Look at the state of him. You’d have to be incredibly naive to not realise he isn’t a good man.” 

“I resent that,”  the stranger pipes in, grabbing everyone’s attention. Not like the soldiers’ has been anywhere else since they stormed in. “Why, Governor, appearances can be deceiving.” 

Regulus cringes slightly, and it’s not because of his wet clothes, or the cold already seeping into his bones, despite having his father’s, Orion, coat over his shoulders. Or, well, not entirely because of that. 

The scold twisting his father’s harsh features is enough to make him want to curl into himself, or at the very least, take a step back. Regulus has been the target of that specific expression more times than he can count, even though he always does his best to remain out of the spotlight. Always seen, but never heard. That’s how his parents prefer him. The only way they can somehow tolerate him. 

He’s not his brother, after all, as everyone seems so set on reminding him. Sirius might be brash, and insolent, and sometimes border on rebellious, but he’s the perfect leader. Loved and respected by all. Everyone adores him, even their parents, despite barely being capable of it, and Regulus can’t say he blames them.

Maybe that’s why he’s speaking up now, trying to do the right thing for once, even though every part of him fought against the mere idea. Regulus thinks Sirius will be proud of him, as soon as he returns from his trip and Regulus tells him all about it.

He can’t help but wish he was here with him. Everything feels less scary when his older brother is at his side. 

Before his father has the chance to open his mouth, possibly to obliterate the kind stranger that risked his life to save Regulus’, Lucius steps forward, a blonde, nearly white eyebrow arched at the unknown man. 

“Deceiving, you say?” he repeats in a drawl, nose turned up in what can only be disgust. Really, Regulus can’t understand what his cousin sees in him. “I suppose we should at least give you the benefit of the doubt.” Lucius gives him a tight-lipped smile. “I believe thanks are in order, then.”

Lucius extends one arm, if a bit begrudgingly, offering his hand to the stranger. Regulus’ eyes widen a little at the gesture, and he can feel his father glaring at Lucius’ back with such ferocity it almost makes him shiver. 

Regulus can’t say he blames him. Lucius isn’t disobeying direct orders, mostly because Orion hasn’t said anything concrete, but it comes way too close for comfort. 

The stranger eyes the hand with clear wariness, but he still grins and nods a little, before reaching out to give Lucius’ hand a firm shake. 

They’ve barely made contact with each other when Lucius grips the stranger harshly, pulling him closer and raising the sleeve of his undershirt up, revealing a branded ‘P’ on his forearm. Regulus can’t quite repress the tiny gasp that escapes his lips.

Lucius’ smile becomes wider, sharper, as he watches the suddenly sheepish stranger with no little amount of satisfaction. “Had a brush with the East India Trading Company, did we, pirate?

Regulus grimaces at the word almost at the same time as the stranger winces. He didn’t give it too much thought at first, because he had swallowed a lot of water, and had been too busy coughing it all out to properly notice, but he supposes the man’s attire kind of gives him away. 

He wears a red bandanna around his forehead, keeping messy black curls off his face, and many strands of his hair seem to be adorned with beads and colourful trinkets. His hazel eyes seem to possess a mischievous glint in them, and Regulus thinks that, under different circumstances, he might’ve found it charming, considering it sort of reminds him of Sirius. He also sports a short, but definitely unkempt beard all around his mouth. 

He takes a peek at his father’s face, and it doesn’t startle Regulus, discovering him looking so smug. 

His words aren’t unexpected, either, but they still fill him with dread.

“Hang him,” Orion orders swiftly, almost bored, and the stranger clicks his tongue, more inconvenienced than scared. 

Lucius lets out a low chuckle. “Keep your guns on him,” he tells his men, without even bothering to check if they’ll listen. They always do, anyway. “And someone fetch me some irons!”

He raises the sleeve a little higher, and Regulus manages to catch sight of ink on brown skin, something that he’s sure resembles a bird, before Lucius is pulling down the cotton once more. 

“James Potter, is it?” he questions blandly, nose wrinkling in distaste. 

“Captain James Potter,” the pirate corrects a bit sharply, lips stretching into another one of those charming smiles. “Sir,” he adds forcibly, almost as an afterthought. 

“Well, I’m afraid I don’t see a ship, captain.” Lucius makes a show of looking around, some of his men laughing under their breaths. 

The pirate’s, James’, smile never falters. “Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it don’t exist.” 

Lucius gives him an incredibly flat stare, but James doesn’t wilt under it, doesn’t even react, really, and instead continues to hold the Commodore’s gaze. 

“Quite sad that I can’t even tell if you’re lying to me or just yourself.” Lucius shakes his head softly. 

James opens his mouth, presumably about to retort, when a sudden uproar between the soldiers draws his attention. Even Regulus’ fathers turns around, seeking the origin of all the fuss, and finally putting some distance between him and Regulus. 

“Commodore!” One of Lucius’ men exclaims, everyone around him making way for him hastily. “I found—I found the pirate’s things!” 

Lucius doesn’t take his eyes off James, not even for a single second, but he raises both eyebrows, clearly pleased by this information. When the soldier finally reaches them, Lucius doesn’t waste a single moment and begins to search through the pirate’s belongings, taking some pleasure in the way James’ expression twitches at the action. 

Regulus’ body leans forward almost unconsciously, and he feels a bit embarrassed by how curious he is about this whole scene. If his father weren’t so distracted, he would’ve scolded him by now. 

“A gun with no additional shots,” Lucius murmurs dryly, eyes fleeting from the weapon on the soldier’s arms to James. “A rusty sword and a hat. What a pathetic excuse of a pirate.”

James raises a hand, and the men flanking him go tense all over, squinting their eyes at him. 

“And yet you have heard of me,” he points out with an easy smile, which, well, it’s not untrue. 

Lucius levels him with an unimpressed glare, while James continues grinning widely. Regulus is as stiff as most of Lucius’ men, unsure of what’s gonna happen next, of how long they’re gonna keep throwing jabs at each other until either of them snaps.

Apparently, Lucius has already had enough, because he grabs James by the wrist once again, even more forcibly than before, and starts dragging him away. His men part to let him pass like it’s second-nature, and Regulus can see Lucius is headed to the other side of the crowd, where one of the soldiers is holding some irons. 

Regulus moves before he has the chance to think about it. 

He runs after Lucius and James, ignoring the startled looks all the men give him, and pretending he doesn’t hear his father call his name in outrage, or the noise of his steps as he follows a moment later. 

The heavy coat falls from his shoulders at some point during his little race, and he can only hope that either his father or one of the soldiers manages to take a hold of it before it touches the floor. The punishment for dirtying one of Orion’s coats might not be the worst his father has done to him, but it won’t be fun regardless.

Regulus has never been as athletic, or as strong, as his brother, but he’s fast and nimble, so he manages to slip in between Lucius and the man holding the irons, halting the advance. Lucius stops, James almost crashing into his back and sending them both tumbling.

“Regulus—” he starts, careful but with an edge in his tone.

“Pirate or not, this man saved my life,” Regulus cuts him off, panting a little but making sure to raise his chin proudly, like his mother has always taught him. 

Lucius blinks at him, before exhaling loudly through his nose. He pulls James from behind him, and with a firm move of his head, the man with the irons rushes from behind Regulus, getting ahold of James quickly and binding his wrists together. Regulus watches for a second before whipping his head around and narrowing his eyes at Lucius. 

“Regulus,” the Commodore tries once more, infusing his voice with something that’s too curt to be considered patient. “I admire your kindness. I truly do. But one good deed is not enough to redeem someone of an entire lifetime of wickedness, and I can assure you, this man does not deserve your mercy.”

Regulus bites his lower lip, eyes pleading at Lucius’ impassive face. “But—”

“You foolish, insolent, little—” his father hisses, fingers curling around his forearm and gripping harshly. 

Orion begins to pull, attempting to get him away from both Lucius and James, and probably drag him back to the house so he can scold him properly. Maybe even punish him. 

Regulus resists, planting his feet firmly on the ground even as his father’s gaze turns furious. He hears Lucius let out an irritated huff at the display, but it doesn’t last long, because one moment Regulus is struggling against his father’s ruthless grip, and the next one there’s a heavy chain around his neck, and a warm, hard body pressed against his back.  

Someone gasps. Or perhaps everyone does. They lean forward, automatically reaching for Regulus, because most of these soldiers have known him and his family for years. They’ve been trained to protect him, to keep him safe. 

Even his father is staring at him in what can only be terror, eyes wide and lips parted, hands twitching with the need to grab him, push him away from who’s holding him captive. 

Regulus inhales shakily. Breathing is a bit difficult, with the chain digging into his neck, but he can manage. He’s staring back at Lucius, at his father, at every single man who’s surrounding him and watching him with anxious eyes. The horror he can see in their faces isn’t helping Regulus to keep calm.

The soldier standing closest to Lucius reaches for his weapon, the noise he makes being the first sound to break the sudden silence. 

“Don’t shoot!” Lucius snarls, taking a step forward and raising a stiff arm. However, the movement leads to James using his irons to choke Regulus further, and Lucius freezes up as soon as Regulus lets out a grunt. 

“Never expected such a posh little boy to be so keen on defending my honour,” James whispers into his ear, loosening his hold but just barely. “But I’m grateful.”

Regulus presses his lips into a thin line, a spark of irritation lighting up inside his belly. It’s not enough to erase his fear, but it helps to distract him a little. 

Of course the one time he finally decides to speak up and do some good, this happens.

“And you, Commodore,” James goes on, raising his voice and infusing it with cheer. “I knew you’d warm up to me.”

Lucius clenches his jaw, hands curling into fists at his sides, but he keeps still and doesn’t dare breathe a single word. 

“Now, if you’d be so kind, I’d love to have my effects back. Please.”

It takes a beat, men glancing at each other a bit unsurely, but when James urges Lucius again with a “Commodore!”, the warning clear in his tone, he finally moves. Lucius turns around and grabs James’ belongings quite aggressively, pointedly ignoring the way James huffs. 

Regulus doesn’t even get a moment to relax, because as he watches Lucius moving towards them, arms filled with James’ effects, a warm breath hits him on the side of the neck, sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Do you have a name, darlin’?” James asks quietly, lips grazing the lobe of his ear with every word. 

A wave of heat rushes through Regulus, and he isn’t sure if he’s more angry or embarrassed at his body’s reaction. 

“Regulus,” he responds through gritted teeth. “Regulus Black.”

“Regulus,” James repeats in a drawl, and Regulus can feel his smile against his skin. He tries to tilt his head to the side, get some space, but there’s no use. The pirate won’t let him go anywhere until he gets what he wants. “Well, then. If you’d be so kind, Regulus.”

He can’t help but frown a little, attempting to look back and find some answers, when Lucius steps right in front of him. He’s giving him James’ belongings before he can even blink, and they’re all very lucky Regulus has such good reflexes. 

The moment all the weapons and the belt and the stupid hat are all in his arms, James pulls on the irons and forces him to turn around until they’re facing each other. He has both hands bound and around the back of Regulus’ neck, and they’re standing so close they’re basically breathing into each other’s mouths. The realisation makes Regulus’ heart stutter and his stomach twist uncomfortably, so he tries to move away. Unfortunately, there’s nowhere for him to go, and it only ends with James smirking smugly at him, before nodding pointedly at his things.

Regulus presses his lips into a thin line and narrows his eyes at the pirate, quite satisfied at the fact that they’re basically the same height and he can’t look down on him. Not like he needs to, considering the expression he’s sporting.

Oh, he absolutely hates this. He hates that he risked everything to defend a bloody pirate. He hates that he’s being threatened and held hostage and humiliated. He hates that this is only gonna make him look weaker than he already does. He hates that Sirius isn’t here. And more than anything, he hates James Potter.

Taking a deep breath, Regulus gets to work. He starts with the weapons, uncomfortable with how they feel in his hands, how heavy and how cold. He itches to get rid of them. 

“Make sure to be nice, yeah, darlin’?” James whispers the moment Regulus begins to fasten the belt holding the sword around his waist. 

Regulus wants nothing more than to curse him out, but he settles with wrapping the damn thing extra tight, eyes never leaving James’ and watching as he winces momentarily, before giving Regulus a lazy smile. 

“Careful,” James warns, but it’s teasing. Mocking. “You don’t wanna damage the goods.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes before he grabs the gun and what looks like a sash. He attaches the gun to the belt and then puts the sash over James’ shoulder, noticing that he can’t tie it properly on his current position. Biting the inside of his cheek but refusing to show anything on his face, he presses their chests together and his hands travel to James’ back. 

Regulus focuses on the task at hand, but it proves to be harder than expected, with the way James chooses to return the embrace to the best of his abilities. As if Regulus is doing this willingly, or something. 

James leans into him, until his cheek is touching Regulus’, nose digging into his curls and nuzzling there like they’re—like they’re actually—

Regulus finishes the knot alarmingly fast, his whole face burning, especially when he remembers his father is bearing witness to this whole scene. 

Fortunately, there’s only one thing left and it’s that ridiculous hat, so he puts it hastily on James’ head, more than ready to get this torture done and over with. But as soon as it sits on dark curls, Regulus notices it’s crooked, and he’s reaching out once again a second later, righting the damn thing until it’s good, until James looks every bit the pirate that he is. 

The smile he receives in return almost blinds him, and Regulus is averting his gaze even before James turns him back around. 

The disgust on his father’s face isn’t surprising, but it still stings. Although, not as much as the disappointment does. 

“Good job, love,” James murmurs, just for him, and Regulus makes an active effort to not visibly react. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Regulus cocks his head back just enough for their eyes to meet. “You’re despicable,” he spits, hands trembling with barely contained rage. 

“So much hatred coming from such a pretty mouth.” James clicks his tongue, but his grin widens. “I saved your life, you saved mine. Now we’re square, yeah?”

He opens his mouth, a retort on the tip of his tongue, when James lowers the irons around Regulus’ neck enough to grab his gun and then press the barrel of it against Regulus’ temple. 

His blood runs cold and his heart stutters in his chest. There’s a spark of something inside his gut, and then goosebumps break everywhere on his skin, heat rushing to every point of contact between him and James. 

Regulus knows he’s not going to shoot. And yet, a tiny, buried part of him sort of wants him to. 

“Gentlemen,” James exclaims, that fake cheer returning to his voice. “It’s been a pleasure, but I’m afraid it’s time for me to bid you all farewell. Try not to miss me too much, I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”

“You better pray we won’t, pirate,” Lucius snarls, stepping forward at the same time James steps back, still holding onto Regulus.

“Is that a threat, Commodore?”

“It’s a promise.”

James chuckles, and Regulus can feel it rumble against his back. “Well, here’s to hoping you’ll be able to keep it.”

He takes another step back, dragging Regulus with him, but the barrel of the gun isn’t touching his head anymore, and he notices James loosening the irons slightly. He must be about to make his escape, and Regulus thinks he should feel relieved about being freed, but he’s too busy being furious at the fact that James is going to get away with this.

“Oh, I’ll definitely be seeing you again, darlin’,” James says into Regulus’ ear. 

“If you ever dare to go near me again, I’ll kill you myself,” Regulus replies lowly, resisting the urge to turn his head away from James’ filthy mouth.

The pirate hums, and then presses his lips into Regulus’ skin, right under his ear, and it makes him jump, a choked off noise slipping past his mouth. 

For a terrifying moment, he thinks James is kissing him, but the gesture stays as a simple contact. It’s probably just another one of his attempts to anger him, to make a fool out of him, and Regulus loathes that it’s working.

“Looking forward to it,” James mumbles into his throat, and Regulus has to bite his tongue so hard he tastes blood to keep another sound from coming out.

And then, just like that, James is gone. Regulus is still recovering from his words, and the not-really kiss, when the chain disappears from around his neck, the body wrapped around him vanishing as if it had never been there in the first place. 

Lucius and the rest of his men rush after James, running past Regulus without giving him a second glance, but when he turns around, eyes desperately searching, he can’t see anything apart from a sea of uniformed soldiers. 

Regulus doesn’t stop thinking about what happened all day, not even when his father grabs him by the arm and hauls him home. Or when he screams at him for half an hour, and then sends him straight to bed without dinner. It all feels a bit like he’s in a dream, or a trance, and watching everything from outside. 

Nothing seems real anymore. Not since James spoke into his skin while pressing the barrel of his gun to Regulus’ skull.

He isn’t sure of how or when, but one thing is very clear: Regulus is getting revenge. He won’t rest until he sees that bloody pirate behind bars.

[thatgirl4815]

Warm Milk (meta)

This probably goes without saying, but I think there are several connecting threads between the appearance of warm milk this episode. There are a few telling moments in the dialogue that hint at its symbolism and the animosity between Porsche and Tawan. 

Before I get into it, I also want to mention the innuendo of warm milk and what it *ahem* suggests sexually (shoutout to @atlasshrugd​ because I honestly didn’t even form this connection when I watched). In this meta, I tend to look at warm milk a bit more abstractly, but I think this sexual connection still works with the idea of fighting for Kinn’s affection that shows up as a result of Tawan’s appearance.

Ok, now onto 2 specific scenes…

Warm Milk Scene #1

P: “Where is Ken?”

T: “He’s sleeping. I don’t wanna wake him up. I couldn’t sleep so I had to get some warm milk. You couldn’t sleep too, Porsche?”

P: “...”

T: “Porsche, what are you afraid of? Do you think I would fool Kinn, or are you afraid of something else?”

P: *drinks milk* “Tastes good.”

--

There’s not a whole lot going on in the conversation itself, but there are a few key takeaways. Tawan puts on this front of comfortability, swirling the milk around with his spoon, leaning up against the counter as if he was invited here rather than simply seeking refuge here. He’s cool and calm, looking up frequently, while Porsche keeps his gaze down with a stoic, reserved expression. 

What does this have to do with warm milk? Well, nothing too obvious--though warm milk is often associated with comfort; it’s connotations are positive. It coincides with how Tawan is outwardly portraying himself, as if he’s meant to be here. I, personally, would not venture to get myself a drink alone while basically being held captive at my ex-boyfriend’s mafia mansion, but obviously we know that Tawan has a game plan. It’s suavity at it’s finest. It’s interesting to me also how this contrasts the Tawan we saw at the beginning of the episode. We know he’s a skilled manipulator because he’s able to quickly shift between feeble & groveling and confident & controlled.

Aside from body language, Tawan contributes to this persona through the way he phrases his responses. Tawan dominates the conversation with Porsche hardly saying a word. This is telling in and of itself, but I also noticed how Tawan calls Porsche by name twice here. Generally, calling someone by their name in a conversation gives emphasis. It can also be a way of targeting someone, demanding a response by narrowing the focus on them. After these name drops, Tawan goes in for the kill by asking some pretty intensive questions. He’s  still speaking cryptically, but at the same time, he’s addressing the tension between them and Porsche’s owns insecurities. His agenda is like Vegas’s: to create a wall between Kinn and Porsche. But unlike Vegas, he has the advantage of a past relationship with Kinn. The end result is the same, but unlike Vegas, Tawan does not try to rip Kinn apart--but rather, make himself seem revered in Kinn’s eyes.

“Do you think I would fool Kinn, or are you afraid of something else?”

This line catches my attention most, because it’s the first time Kinn is mentioned in the conversation. I’ve rewatched this scene several times, and I think it’s possible to interpret this line in a few different ways. I think what Tawan is really saying here is: Are you really worried that I am going to betray Kinn again, or are you worried that I will take him away from you? If this is really what he’s saying here, then he’s subtly creating a line between what a bodyguard should feel for their boss (not wanting them to get betrayed) and what someone wants for/expects from their significant other (trust).

Porsche, of course, does not play into the game. This is part of the reason why I said in another post (here) that I think Kinn and Porsche handle Tawan’s reappearance relatively well, considering. He manages to weasel his way in between them, and he thinks he succeeds, but I would argue that this is all part of Kinn’s plan in the end. Yes, I think there are still some pretty weighty trust issues between Kinn and Porsche, but I don’t think Kinn really believes that Porsche is the mole. If Tawan thinks that--and truly believes his manipulation is working--then it is easier to take him down/expose his true intentions later on. Then again, we know that Kinn’s judgment goes astray when it comes to Porsche (likely because he’s had such a strained relationship with feelings due to Tawan and his father), so it’s impossible to say for certain. A lot of this episode is made up of subtext, especially between Kinn and Porsche; they share many long looks that portray an array of emotions. It’s just difficult to pinpoint what they are both thinking (but that’s a conversation for another post). 

Warm Milk Scene #2

Porsche and Tawan’s roles have been switched in this last scene between them. Tawan thinks he’s won. Porsche, conversely, keeps his head down, mirroring his reaction during the first warm milk scene. Thankfully, Porsche doesn’t say anything during this scene, which is arguably a sign of defeat, but I can’t help but find it somewhat empowering. He’s not giving Tawan the satisfaction of hearing how broken he is by being locked up by Kinn.

Two of the most important aspects of this scene are familiarity and role reversal. They guide the dialogue and the expressions between characters.

T: “How is it? Quiet and peaceful, huh? Here’s some hot milk. Drink it. So you’ll get a good sleep.”

--

One of the interesting things about manipulation, as we’ve seen with both Vegas and Tawan, is how they’re able to present kindly facades. For Tawan especially, this involves feigned concern for Porsche’s well-being. Again, the subtext speaks much more than the characters’s actually do (which honestly goes for the entire show). 

Tawan hints here how he knows the situation Porsche is in, which is a blow for a few reasons. For Porsche, this cuts deep because it is insinuating that he is just the same as Tawan, a betrayer and a sneaky liar. It implies that Kinn sees him the same way he sees his ex, which is understandably one of Porsche’s, and Kinn’s, biggest fears. 

The warm milk comes into play to showcase Tawan’s familiarity with Porsche’s situation here, a reference which no-doubt tortures Porsche immensely. When it comes to body language, Tawan noticeably reaches out to lay a hand on Porsche’s shoulder through the bars; he even offers a little squeeze. Once again, he is confirming his satisfaction with what he sees as winning the battle. Porsche is behind bars while Tawan is out and (mostly) free. Tawan seems to interpret this turn of events as Kinn choosing him which--given Kinn’s attitude towards him--is a stretch. But Tawan is cocky nonetheless, because he’s gotten his foot in the door. Unlike the first ‘Warm Milk’ scene, Kinn has actually done something against Porsche now. Like the first ‘Warm Milk’ scene, Porsche does not engage (though in this case, his posture--slumped on the ground, closed eyes, head down--and silence are all huge signs of defeat). 

Tawan makes a kissy face to top it all off, taunting him, before walking out. Only when he leaves does Porsche open his eyes, looking dejected and even a bit confused. Although the circumstances are quite different, I connect this scene to the bathroom scene a lot in Ep5.

‘Warm Milk’ & Tawan (Symbolism)

Symbolically, Tawan is like warm milk in that 1) he tries to offer a sense of familiarity to Kinn and use it to manipulate him and 2) he offers false comfort. Warm sour milk would be a better metaphor in this case, but the fact that it’s only “warm milk” hints at Tawan’s well-crafted facade. He wants people to believe he is a certain way, when we see that he is really the exact opposite. Might be a little extensive for this metaphor, but I think it’s worth considering and I just get really hung up on details like this for some reason.

**Tawan looks and seems comforting, but once you actually take a sip of him, you recoil at the sourness.**

~ ~ ~

Another long meta from me. For more KP meta, see this post! And as always, do let me know your thoughts and how you interpreted this episode. A lot of things are very much up-for-interpretation, so I’m curious to know how others saw the ‘warm milk’ thing (or if I’m just reading into it wayyyy too far). 

Until next time...<3

[undisputed-bucky]

Dean Drabble!

NFSW MINORS DNI

Summary: Dean almost loses you on a mission and lets you know exactly how that makes him feel.

WARNINGS: SMUT SMUT SMUT, oral(m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it my lovelies), GUN KINK(reader has a gun pointed to her head most of this fic) . IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH GUNS OR ANY TYPE OF GUN PLAY DO NOT PROCEED.

Word Count: 1.6k ish

A/N: I have to thank @bucky-daddy for the ideas and inspiration for this! It was supposed to be just a little Drabble but it turned into a full one shot!! Again thank you @bucky-daddy for letting me scream about ideas while I wrote this! I hope you guys like it! I always appreciate likes, re blogs and comments! My requests are open as well!! Send me an ask or message and I’ll be happy to discuss ideas! Also I wrote this on my phone so I can’t add a page break so PLEASE BE AWARE OF THE WARNING I'VE PUT IN THE DESCRIPTION OF THIS PIECE. ILL SAY IT AGAIN⚠️VIOLENT AND EXTREME THEMES ALONG WITH SMUT⚠️

The hunt wasn’t supposed to go wrong. You weren’t supposed to get captured. Almost every part of the plan you and Dean had gone over went wrong. So so wrong. The nest wasn’t supposed to know you were coming for them. You weren’t supposed to leave Dean’s side.

And now because of that you were tied to a chair, with a teenage werewolf desperately trying to finish the knot on your right leg. Shit shit shit, you thought. The last time you had seen Dean he was fighting off one werewolf. As you looked around the room you noticed at least five just in this room. You prayed he was safe. You knew Dean could hold his own but the amount of werewolves that could be here? That sets you on edge.

Just as the thought presents itself in your mind, you hear a crash and multiple gunshots. The werewolves all looked towards the door, the familiar growl of the Winchester brother echoing through the walls. You smirked.

“Come at me motherfuckers!” He yells as he kicks through the door. Dean raises his gun and takes out two within five seconds. You growl as you kick out with your right leg, the knot having never been finished.

“Dean!” You shout as you nod your head towards the wolf that had tied you up. He shoots with extreme precision and the silver bullet meets its target, the werewolves brain.

Dean promptly takes care of the two other werewolves in the room.

You breathe a sigh of relief as you watch Dean pant, his shoulders heaving with every breath. “Man, I really got scared there! Thanks for the help Dean, you’re a great hunter” You say, wiggling against the ropes in the chair. “Why don’t you uhh help me with these ropes, Deano?”

“What did I tell you, Y/N?” You hear Dean growl as he turns around. As you look up into his eyes, the darkness there makes your skin prickle. And not exactly in a bad way.

“You told me not to leave your side, I know Dean but I thought I had it! I didn’t kn-“

“SHUT UP” You're cut off by Dean’s yelling. You suddenly look up to see him storming towards you. His hulking figure soon looms over yours, the rage practically radiating off of him.

“You left my side after I specifically told you not too. You directly disobeyed my orders!” He starts, voice so low it was almost a growl. “You put yourself in Danger!” He yells, his hand raises and he presses the barrel of his gun into your temple. “I ALMOST LOST YOU, Y/N! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

You splutter as you look into his eyes, the emotions there a mystery to you. What wasn't a mystery was the pool of moisture collecting in your panties. You'd always been quite attracted to Dean but this ragey, scary Dean? He made you weak!

Dean's gun drifts down slightly as his expression softens slightly, “What would I do without you, Y/N?” He says, anger still virulent in his eyes.

You decide to come back to that question later, suddenly wanting to press the rage inside him more. You smirk and stick your tongue out, swirling your tongue around the silver barrel. You watch Deans pupils dilate as you draw the barrel into your mouth, sucking gently.

“You think this is a game, Y/N?” Dean growls, his mouth twisting into a sneer. He chuckles, a dark dry sound as his hand moves to his belt buckle. He dexterously undoes the buckle and moves on his jeans. “Guess what? You lost” He suddenly removes the gun from your mouth, placing it back on your temple. “You disobeyed me and for that you’re gonna be punished” He speaks as he pulls his briefs down, revealing his hard cock.

Your mouth falls open, eyes widening as you imagine wrapping your mouth around it. The wet patch in your panties grows as you look at the massive member. You always suspected he was big but this? Unprecedented.

“Brat sees something she likes huh?” He chuckles as he moves closer, his cock right in front of your face. He presses the gun harder against your temple, his other hand slapping his cock against your face. You gasp and he takes the opportunity to thrust roughly into your mouth.

You moan around his impressive length and he groans. “Such a fucking brat, not so mouthy with your trap stuffed full of cock huh?” He growls, his hips pistoning against your lips. You choke and gag as his tip smacks the back of your throat forcefully with each thrust of his hips. You Do your best to breathe through your nose as you take every inch of his cock.

“Fuck, Y/N. Sucking me so good. Knew that mouth was good for something other than being a smart ass” He growls, hips stuttering slightly. Drool and spittle falls down your chin as tears spring to your eyes. Every thrust to your throat had you walls clenching around nothing, cunt desperate for the cock currently in your mouth.

Dean's groans become more desperate and he stops, roughly pulling from your mouth with a wet plop. “No no no. M’saving my cum for your cunt. Wanted this for too long not to fill you” He says.

“Please Dean! Untie me so I can show you how much I’ve wanted it to!” You beg, wiggling against the restraints.

He chuckles as he bends down to untie your leg, smirking. You look back at your hands, expecting him to move to them next. When he doesn’t you look at him, “Dean, m-my hands babe” you say, laughing nervously. He suddenly moves behind you, roughly kicking the Chair out from beneath you. It plants you on the floor with your hands laid out above you. “D-Dean please!”

Dean just laughs as he starts to pull your pants down, groaning appreciatively. Your legs spread for him, exposing your drenched cunt. He raises his gun, dragging the tip of the barrel through your drenched folds. You gasp and arch against the touch. He pulls the gun away and chuckles, slowly lifting it to your mouth in a silent order to suck. You open your mouth to taste your own juices around the gun. You moan at the taste as Dean suddenly presses himself against your entrance.

“What a dirty little whore you are! Just begging to be fucked at gunpoint aren’t you? So wet for me and my gun huh?” He asks, dragging the tip of his cock through your folds as he places the gun back to your temple.

“Yes Sir! Please! Fuck me at gunpoint and take what you want!” You shout, hips bucking to gain more friction. You watch as his lips turn up in a smirk. He uses his other hand to roughly hold your hips down, keeping you still as he slowly sheathes himself inside you.

“Fuck!” You cry out at his length filling you. He’s so huge you can swear you feel him in your belly, stretching you out. Your voice refuses to work when he slowly drags himself out, only to slam back against that spongy spot inside of you.

As his pace increases, he growls out, “Fuck Y/N so tight! Made to take my cock weren’t you?”

“Yes! Oh god yes!” You cry, the coil inside you beginning to wind and wind with every thrust to that spot he found so quickly.

Dean presses the gun into your skin, a bruising pressure as he growls, “Yes what?”

“Yes sir!” You scream, your walls beginning to flutter and squeeze around his cock. “Oh fuck!”

He groans as his pace falters, moving a hand to your clit. He rubs fast, tight circles as he leans down to your ear, “Gonna cum on my cock? Gonna soak me with my gun pointed to your head?” He whispers.

“Yes sir! Please let me cum!” You beg, legs beginning to shake. The coil was ready to burst but you wouldn’t dare cum without his permission.

“Cum! Cum for me like the desperate slut you are” He growls as he cock swells. Your vision goes white as the coil snaps, walls clamping down around Dean. Your mouth falls open in a wordless scream as he finishes, the feeling of his spend bursting against your cervix extending your orgasm farther. Your hips buck and shake as he thrusts out both of your highs.

Dean pants as he slowly pulls his softening cock from your leaking hole. He grunts as he watches your mixed juices leak onto the floor, walls still spasming from the earth shattering climax you just experienced. He throws his gun to the side and tenderly unties your hands, bringing them to his mouth to kiss the tender flesh there. He wraps your arms around his neck as he pulls you against him.

“I really don’t know what I would do without you, Y/N. You’re so important to me. Not only me but Sammy.” He leans down and leaves a tender kiss against your lips. You can visibly see the love and adoration in his eyes as he speaks, “I-I love you, Y/N. I’ve known for so long but couldn’t admit it till now. I-just the thought of losing you- I couldn’t bear it. Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?” His eyes full with concern as he start to look over the rest of your body.

“No y-you didnt. That was- that was amazing” You breath, tears welling in your eyes at his admission. “I love you too Dean. I think I have for a while now” You smile and kiss him again.

Dean's eyes suddenly darken again as he take your face in his hands, making sure your looking directly at him. “If you ever disobey me like that again I swear Y/N, you won’t walk for a week. And you won’t go on a hunt for a month”

He growls before crashing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss.

“Yes sir” You gasp out, enjoying the grin that comes to his face.

Tags: @writtingrose

[ruby-whistler]

You've probably talked about this kinda thing before (I'm willing to hunt down the post if so), but I'm pretty new to your blog and I'm curious; what makes you like c!Dream so much? Other than, like, his potential - or the skill that went into writing him - I mean specifically as a character, what causes you to sympathize with him as opposed to others like Wilbur or Quackity?

If it's personal you obviously don't have to answer! I've just read tons of posts like that from c!Tommy apologists and I realized I'd never read one from the other side of things (so to speak) and I think you present your ideas and stuff rly well :p

Alright, I’ve made a couple of replies like this, but this one is going in the masterpost to later link it to people - thank you for your interest, and I hope you don’t mind this one being a bit detailed.

Initially, on more of an emotional level, the answer to that question would be Dr3. It was how I got into Dream apologism, it justified my compassion for the character, and made me feel more comfortable where the rest of the fandom was overwhelmingly negative.

The c!Dream that people portray seems unsympathetic, and pretty fitting on the surface - a relentless manipulative villain with an insatiate thirst for power who threw away his friends in order to gain control over others for the sake of being on top.

Until you actually look into canon, and do some analysis, and realize that's,,, rather far from the truth.

See, the thing about c!Dream is, that he's a person much like anyone else in the story. He's not a "villain" or some morally black character only because of his actions. It's all about context, which doesn't excuse actions, but it might explain them and make an impact on the way we view the character himself.

In this fandom, people usually look at him, and then throw both accurate characterization and any of that context out the window.

Because power, and hurting people, and chaos isn't his goal or his motive. It's a means to an end. Everything is a means to the end to this character, including himself, which I find fascinating.

Is it wrong to do? Yes. Will it get him closer to his goals? Yes? Then he's going to do it, no matter who gets hurt in the process. No matter if he gets hurt in the process.

And this ruthlessness is not inspired by cruelty, this efficiency isn't out of enjoyment. It's out of genuine attachment and perhaps even desperation, but that's difficult to get into.

He's had such a downward spiral into doing continuously worse things - and for what? For control? For power? No, he never cared about that in the first place, why would he start now?

Do you know what he did care about?

His friends. The server. The people he feels responsible for.

c!Dream's goals have never been selfish at all, no matter how much people try to paint it that way. His ends were always for others - considering how likely the theory that he got himself locked up on purpose is, that enforces the sentiment even more.

If he didn't care about the server, why would he fight against L'Manberg and then list his reasons for it always as reasons "we" had? He pretty much never used "I" when talking about it, I know because I counted it.

If he didn't care about the people, why would he stand against Schlatt - despite understandably still despising L'Manberg - and actively support them in getting their country back when he could've just left them alone? Schlatt wasn't hurting him. Wilbur taking a tiny piece of land wasn't threatening him.

Manberg was threatening the server's peace, which is why he fought against it. L'Manberg threatened (and ruined) the server's relative peace and unity, which is why he fought against it.

It was never him fighting to control the server, it was him fighting for the server and the people in it, even if he ended up hurting them in the process, and that's pretty clear from analysing his motives before the second season.

And yeah, his thinking is flawed, I noticed - but cc!Dream has confirmed his goal in the end is for everyone to get along and, well, stop hurting each other, as well as him having an "ends justify the means" mentality.

And I guess that silent realization of - hell, he cares - was what drew me to have such a strong attachment towards the character.

So thinking about him forcing himself to do all this terrible stuff - about him being stuck powerless inside a cell, hurt over and over again - about just how desperate he must've been, alternatively, how ready to sacrifice himself he must've been back at the Finale.

If you recontextualize the story from c!Dream's perspective, it all falls into this picture of someone who wanted to protect people more than anything, and who cared more than anyone, and ended up losing everything, not entirely by his own fault, but because of the cycle of violence he was actively trying to stop.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Dream is incredibly selfless both in his overarching goals, and in his smaller more immediate ones. He will, more often than not, put himself in a disadvantageous situation if it means his friends or allies aren’t caught in the crossfire or harmed.

His relationship with his friends - Punz, George and Sapnap specifically - is incredibly tragic. He wanted to protect Punz, he showed genuine concern about him, he was willing to have one less person on his side just so that people wouldn't target him.

He wanted to protect George, but he hurt him in the process, because he was too caught up in being in the right, and Sapnap was distraught thanks to Tommy telling him that Dream doesn't care about him, and Quackity who despised Dream was there to fan the flames, so they fell apart rather easily.

He wanted to protect the cat, and he failed.

He wanted to protect Techno, stand up to Quackity, and he failed.

If you think about it, he failed to protect everyone miserably.

Alright before I break down sobbing incoherently - as you can probably see, my sympathy towards c!Dream doesn't come from him being a good person to any degree, more from just incredible amounts of sadness.

You see, c!Dream is a very reserved character, and he puts up the "cruel scary villain" front on purpose, and he doesn't talk about his emotions on purpose. However what we see of him is pretty much enough to classify him as a rather tragic character.

Most of his actions, with enough context, shift the way I think about the character in a more positive direction only because if I like the way a character is written, it's going to bleed into my feelings for the character himself. Ruthless villains are my jam. A character being fun to analyse and too complex to complicate further is pretty much the only thing I need to become attached.

Did I mention the prison arc yet? I cannot see a character suffering and not be sympathetic, I don't think that's a thing with me. Healing arc potential, isn't it?

A lot of people also relate to the character on a deeply personal level! Trauma responses such as cutting people off and emotionally isolating yourself, trying to regain control of your environment or to get back the past, some people even relate to,, what's being done to him during the prison arc. There's definitely some amount of projection going on, but I'd say I only do it to a degree where when I'm depressed I'll start relentlessly posting about a healing arc.

It's just hard to see a villain with good intentions hurt and alone, even if he's done terrible things, and not feel some amount of empathy. Most people don't care to see him that way, but my blog's mostly a place for those who do.

Anyways, here are some essays to check out perhaps if you've read this far that elaborate on some of the points further-

[ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ]

- and here's an explanation like this from a fellow Dream apologist. Might be useful to get multiple perspectives on the subject. Feel free to also send asks if you have any questions! That's what I'm here for.

[arialis]

1, 2, 16, and 21 <3

<33333 ty!!! for the ask :D this was v fun to answer and i had a really good time. also your choice of questions is soft and i loaf you

1. whats your favorite thing to rant/ramble about?

this feels v targeted of you to ask but i am v touched by it :D

for ranting: my boi gawain deserves better and i Refuse the modern understanding of his personality send tweet on the twitter i don’t have

for rambling: science stuff!! generally!!! it's a lot of fun :D also talking about what i'm reading, esp when it comes to older lit b/c that has more context and is more interesting to talk about. my absolute favorite is probably my own writing ngl :P not in an egotistical way, but b/c i put so much thought into it and i have So Much to say, and i love my characters so deeply and i'm very proud of them in a mothering way - they grow so much and they're such good people and i love it for them

2. do you have any oddly specific love languages?

i'm really physically affectionate (if my friend is up for that ofc), but that's not that specific. i suppose talking about my interests is one? the nerdier and stranger the better, and talking generally tbh. in that if i don't really love you i just Won't, whereas my friends and family couldn't get me to stop talking if they tried :P snark is also a sign of love

i really like going on long walks with friends? at the beach or hiking or wherever. i like seeing what we find and the conversations that it brings out

6. do you tend to have “favorite things”? list some if so (foods, colors, shows, etc)

(i realize looking back that i misread and you didn't ask this one, but i like the question and i already wrote it out so you get a bonus one lol)

i really Really love fried dumplings, peak comfort food to me tbh. i've also grown to love lo mein and cold brew coffee w/ a lot of milk and some sugar. one Specific brand of lithuanian ice cream is and always has been my favorite ever since i was a little kid, but there's an ice cream place in my hometown that's Absolutely Incredible, tho admittedly they're a classier Treat Yourself:tm: place rip

i love pretty much all shades of blue and many greens, and desert canyons and mountain forests in parallel but opposite ways. my longtime favorite books (in order of when i first read them) are Fire by Kristin Cashore, In Other Words by Jhumpa Lahiri, and the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo

i have a lot of favorite people who have made my life infinitely better, too many to list here, but you are absolutely one of them <33333

16. whats something you really can’t understand or conceptualize?

i have No Idea how people have the bravery to go into space or deep d e e p underwater, i don’t think i could ever ;;;;;

21. whats a random piece of advice you want to give?

optimize your life for ease of use and longterm happiness, and don't worry about other people's ideas of the Proper way to do things - if it's helpful to have the laundry basket right by your bed or brush your teeth with kid-friendly bubblegum toothpaste rather than Adult Mint, then do what works for you. i think a lot of times people worry about conforming to ideas of "adulthood" or general norms, like what constitutes a breakfast meal or a good life, rather than the things that work for them or make them happy, which is ultimately all that really matter

also, fundamentally: to live a life you are happy with, you will probably have to disappoint your authority figures and mentors a little. you should do it anyway, b/c it's not their life, is it? moreover, if their only source of satisfaction comes from you hitting specific bullet points, then they've got issues they gotta work on that have nothing to do w/ you anyway

[velvetcoves]

some V3 relationship HCs :) (boys)

(f/n)= first name <3

-mod velv

K1-B0 (KIIBO)

★ I LOVE HIM-

★ anyway

★ Kiibo has a basic understanding of human nature, but there are things that he just.. doesn’t get

★ like.. why do you have so many cups?? don’t you need only a couple?

★ and yes, he supposes that rock shines, but why do you need it?

★ you’ll have to explain to him some of your nature, and most humans as well. he’s very interested in learning as much as he can :)

★ after he gets some of it, (which took a while), he’ll start collecting little things that remind him of you. like a crow

★ your reactions mean everything to him

★ if you have any games that require timing, i have one word for you.

★ Kiibo.

★ he can literally pass any levels you’re stuck on

★ did i mention he heats up?

★ even though he’s.. made of metal, he’s surprisingly very comfortable! however, there are times where some parts of him dig into you uncomfortably, but there are solutions :)

★ like sweaters!! and blankets

★ speaking of, i feel like Kiibo would have a love-hate relationship with winter

★ on one hand, he gets to see you in the snow, help you make a snowman, and keep you warm during the cold nights

★ but.. his body gets stuck more often.

★ and the metal gets cold quickly, and he doesn’t want you cold :(

★ but you just remind him of the sweaters and you’ve got a happy robot :)

KOREKIYO SHINGUJI

★ whenever you two go out, he always has to be touching you in someway

★ it’s never something big, and most times you don’t even notice him until later

★ more often than not, his hand finds its way to your back

★ it’s now a habit of his, to kind of lead you with that

★ if his hand isn’t at your back, i feel like it would be somewhere on your arm. like a linked arm, or he’s holding your hand so he doesn’t lose you in a crowd.

★ ok but his h a i r?

★ can i be a simp for hair

★ he definitely would let you, and only you play with his hair. like braiding it, brushing, etc.

★ i feel like he would rarely call you by your actual name, because he uses so. many. pet names.

★ “angel, could you grab that for me?”

★ “dearest, come here for a second.”

★ stuff like that smh oh to be called dearest by Kiyo

★ he’d tease you sometimes as well

★ if you’re shorter than him, he’d definitely hold things above his head so you couldn’t grab them. and if you’re taller than him, then oh boy. he’d hide stuff from you. not important things, but stuff you’d need only in that specific moment.

★ he also really likes to play with your fingers lol it helps him concentrate

★ ok but just imagine.. Kiyo in the middle of a conversation, you’re not really paying attention as you’re screwing around on your phone. suddenly, Kiyo’s soft fingers interlace between yours, giving your hand a squeeze before he begins to play with your index finger as he continues to talk. tracing the shape of it into his mind. almost like he wanted to make a copy of you.

★ he could never try to replicate you, though. you’re so perfect to him.

RANTARO AMAMI

★ TEASE KING. STEP ASIDE KOKICHI

★ Rantaro is definitely that dude that if you’re wearing a hat, he’ll pull it down over your eyes or he’ll just straight up steal it.

★ play with his hair plEASE-

★ his hair is soft, threads through your fingers rather easily, and smells like lime

★ y’all are that couple that has one’s head in their lap as they read or somethin, playing with the other’s hair.

★ he is also that dude that comes up behind you, covering your eyes with his hands as he whispers, “guess who?~”

★ Rantaro actually has pretty small hands, and they’re actually cold most of the time.

★ beware of him and his goddamn hands smh

★ he will definitely stick his hands under your shirt for “warmth” as he so says. you know that he just wants to see your reactions

★ he’s actually god at eyeliner, so if you need to wear some, he’s your guy. hey, the dude has sisters.

★ speaking of, his sisters absolutely ADORE you. usually when you go over to his house they just.. immediately snatch you for 99% of the time and Rantaro is just “😀”

★ he leaves you little doodles everywhere. like he’ll bring you a book you asked for, and like on the 120th page there’s a crow with heels and it's the funniest thing you’ve seen all day

★ he starts laughing when you bring it up, and eventually you both are just laughing so hard at it you can't breathe

★ he has so much fun when he’s with you. he can never repay you

SHUICHI SAIHARA

★ steal his hat steal his hat steal his-

★ Shuichi is flustered rather easily when it comes to you, so use that information to your advantage hehe

★ expect lots of cuddles from him, especially those back hugs. like the ones where he’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around you, leaning his head on top of yours if you're shorter, or against your back if you’re taller.

★ he’ll let out a small sigh of content as he nuzzles into your form, trying to keep his face hidden.

★ he finds your voice so soothing, especially when you read to him? like watch this:

★ you two are working on one of his cases together. your job is reading out his notes from the scene, your voice a low murmur as he works away. you haven’t noticed that he’s just.. stopped writing, staring at his pen as he begins to play with it. scratchy handwriting is what his eyes rake over, an adoring smile plastered to his face as he just listens. eventually you notice he’s stopped. “..Shuichi?” your soft voice asks, and he jolts a bit, grasped from his daydream. “a-ah.. sorry (f/n).. continue?”

★ more often than not it's your murmurs that causes the sleep deprivation to slap him in the face and just be knocked tf out.

★ helping him with cases is one of your favorite things?? like Shuichi you’re so smart give yourself some credit?????

★ every morning he greets you with a small smile. even though he’s still really tired, he makes an effort for you :)

★ i love funky detective man smh

GONTA GOKUHARA

★ b,, baby man,,

★ if you’re terrified of bugs, he’ll try to keep his little friends away from you, he doesn’t want to scare you at all :(

★ if you don’t mind bugs/you like them, he’ll be overjoyed!!

★ he probably has a bug named after you

★ more often than not, you’ll find them in your room or on your things. usually they’re really gorgeous, he says they remind you of him that day :)

★ he tries to switch up the bugs you find each day, so it’s always a little surprise when you enter your own room

★ ask him to carry you

★ he wants to carry you.

★ pl e a se

★ Gonta is also really warm, and his hands are HUGE

★ expect so many head pats from him. he loves how small you are compared to him

★ boops from Gonta? boops from Gonta.

★ this man straight up craves your cuddles.

★ because of his body temperature and scent of pine, it’s not hard at all to fall asleep in his embrace

★ i feel like he wakes up rather early, so he gets the pleasure of watching you sleep

★ not in a creepy way! he thinks you look so.. peaceful. angelic, is more of the word.

★ he absolutely LOVES seeing you in his clothes. just the way the cloth envelopes your tiny frame, you with your adorable smile and sweater paws?

★ god he loves you sm

RYOMA HOSHI

★ when you two first got into a relationship, he rarely touched you.

★ he literally had no idea what to do

★ he lived all of his life on eggshells, scared of every coming day

★ and then you, his ray of sunshine, just came to him?

★ he’s just so lost

★ however, you knew what to do.

★ you basically taught him that no, you’re not going to disappear from his life at any given moment. you promise.

★ it took some convincing, but you got there.

★ anyway, he doesn’t show too much PDA, but he’s taken up the habit of grasping your sleeve when you two walk together

★ given the fact that you’re likely taller than him, this boy l o v e s your hugs.

★ the way you just envelope him in your loving embrace.. he feels like he doesn’t deserve it.

★ he might tell you so, but you quickly shut him up with a kiss or something :)

★ spooning spooning spooning-

★ he’s usually little spoon, but he’ll be big spoon if you want :)

★ Ryoma really likes being held by you. he feels like time stops, like all that matters is you in that moment.

★ he just feels so safe when he’s around you. he’s gotta get used to it

★ one time when you both went on a date, you accidentally found the main base of the stray cats in your town

★ they LOVED him and now you go there frequently to visit the cats

★ ya’ll definitely have a cat from there too smh you’re so cute

KOKICHI OUMA

★ at the earliest stages of your relationship, i have two words for you.

★ good luck.

★ you are not safe from Kokichi.

★ you are targeted by him.

★ anyway, i definitely feel like he would be so clingy with you.

★ he doesn’t care that you’re in public, he will latch onto you and be a nuisance.

★ holding onto your sleeve, holding your hand, latching onto your leg so you have to drag him around, full on trying to tackle you, etc.

★ p i g g y b a c k r i d e s

★ if you don’t want him to completely annoy you, just hoist him up onto your back for a ride

★ he LOVES it

★ i also feel like he wouldn’t really know what he’s doing at first.. you make him feel so many things, emotions that he thought were buried a long time ago. it’s a bit too much for him

★ patience is key with Kokichi. please just wait for him. he’ll catch up when he’s ready.

★ but when he does? and when you’ve convinced him you’re not leaving anytime soon?

★ you have the most caring and lovable man right at your side.

★ he’s.. so soft with you.

★ Kokichi absolutely adores being held by you. probably the most out of the V3 crew. he feels so secure, so sure of your relationship in those moments. he sleeps best when you’re around, which he desperately needs due the insomnia that plagues him most nights.

★ quiet cuddles are such a treasure to you. he’s usually silent during your cuddle sessions, his head either in the crook of your neck or buried in your chest, inhaling your scent so he can imprint it to his mind. it makes you more in love with him.

★ also DICE adores you-

KAITO MOMOTA

★ he is,, the biggest simp for you,,,

★ literally every single day, Kaito looks at you with the biggest grin on his face because every time he looks at you, he notices a new thing that makes him love you even more.

★ stargazing da te s✨

★ ^ these dates often end up with him going on a rant about the constellations and their movements, star types, etc. and you love him for it

★ his coat is so warm?? you wonder how he wears it 24/7

★ he absolutely LOVES it when you tackle hug him. he doesn’t even care if he was in the middle of a conversation, just feeling the sudden embrace of his s/o makes him melt.

★ those tackle hugs usually end up in him turning around and scooping you up, spinning you around before planting you back down and giving you a sweet kiss

★ PDA? he loves it

★ he NEVER would do anything that makes you uncomfortable though.

★ your PDA mostly consists of hand holding, hugs, all that soft stuff :)

★ he would definitely have to do a double take if you ever wore his jacket.

★ “hey (f/n)? where-“ and he’d just s t a r e at you, his face going ablaze in red

★ he’s like that Tamaki gif

★ yeah that one ^

★ more often than not, you get piggyback rides from him

★ the gentle rock of his body as he walks, his overall warmth, his scent of lavender.. it’s perfect to lull you asleep.

★ he wouldn’t have it any other way :)

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #11:

(note that I know I mentioned a “Voiced Askplosion” last time in the tags for anyone who put a 🎤 in their ask, meaning they wanted to hear me respond verbally to it, but I only got one and it wasn’t anything serious - just a tease from someone I know - so I either won’t be doing it at all or will be holding off)

Asks responding to previous posts:

ALYA NO!!!

(the idea of Sabrina avoiding not only Ms. Mendeleiev, but also Alya, is very amusing to me)

The fact that the special focuses on the love square instead of Sabrina and Delmar is a crime.

(also note that “Need some help?” is rhetorical in this context; Alya doesn’t care)

Highly recommended, honestly, otherwise it just turns into a big shame because there are shows I really like but with some content that I don’t like, and why torture myself with it when I can cut it out instead?

Just to give a rough idea, here’s my cut of “Desperada”; mind you, this is just my quick cut of it (basically a “beta” version where I just removed everything I disliked without much care for transitioning/having everything make sense; some of Marinette’s friends talking, the guitar scene, Aspik, etcetera), as I’m not comfortable handing over my “perfect” cut of it since it’s like my personal copy.

Yeah, that’s a super awkward scene. As much as I’d like to imagine that Adrien just doesn’t understand the “guy time” thing (which I still hate), the fact that they use the word “guy” specifically is--ugh.

I wasn’t aware of what he said in the French dub, so thanks! It’s really painful to see her throw so much love his way, openly and publicly and obviously, then be so humiliated for it, only for Adrien to feel nothing for her.

Say whatever you want about Chat Noir’s advances and how sAAAAAAD he is when she rejects him, but her rejections are just that; in private. There aren’t other heroes who are around and Chat is never really humiliated. Even in “Prime Queen,” Chat wasn’t the target - Ladybug was, and then Ladybug shifted it to Nadja - so Marinette is the one taking all the heat in love while Chat gets to sit on the sidelines (plus, then “Oblivio” happened and now people probably all thing they’re a thing).

Yeah! That’s the group I was thinking of!

Thank you!

I’m so sorry that happened. ;—;

I’m not aro but I am ace and I’ve gotten the whole, “oh it’s just because--” stuff before, so I know what it feels like to have people put on the pressure/invalidate you.

YES.

IT’S GORGEOUS.

I’m not really familiar with how holidays are celebrated outside of the bare basics of Christmas/New Year (which I am trying my hardest to forget lol), so I couldn’t say.

Sorry!

New Asks:

10/10 thought, would fantasize again.

Though would also accept MC Audrey just doing some “spring cleaning” of the whole staff in general. I have no idea how she’d replace Jeremy since he’s the company’s poster boy but most of the writers have to go at the very least and Jeremy should be given less power.

I think MC Audrey would appreciate how Kagami carries herself, though potential bonus if - while Tom and Sabine just openly trust whatever Marinette wants - Audrey does a bunch of digging to make sure Kagami is “worthy” of being with Marinette (she takes this all very seriously).

Double potential bonus if Kagami takes it just as seriously, so here’s Audrey and Kagami acting as if Kagami dating Marinette is like some sort of job interview.

Kagami handing over a “resume” of her accomplishments to Audrey. Audrey has already looked all of it up herself but appreciates the effort put in.

If the question in Miraculous is, “Do we really need a--” and the thing being introduced is something the staff came up with then the answer is usually “no.”

The movie will look pretty and that’s all I’ll expect. It’s just Jeremy’s take on Miraculous. Luka and Kagami probably won’t even be around so I’m not even interested.

I’ll watch it, but I’m also not interested lol.

Honestly, I’d rather turn into bubble froth.

oddly specific but... I mean, damn

I have no idea, and I try not to throw around words like “spite ship” because I know people could genuinely like the ship, though I will say that I went on AO3 and - unless I read from - the first Maribat fanfiction on there was posted after the airdate of “Chameleon.” I think it might’ve started with inspiration from “Marinette moves schools” ideas at the very least.

Non-Miraculous Asks responding to previous posts:

Oh, I understood, no worries! It was just funny for the split second it took me to figure it out.

My bad, that’s not how I meant to come off (especially since “magical girl shows” is a little broad; I mean, obviously I don’t think something like Cardcaptor Sakura is aiming for fanservice when Sakura’s--like... ten). I answered all those asks in the last askplosion in the same day so my brain was a little fried by the time I got to that ask.

I’m not even talking about Sailor Moon either; it’s just that I knew there are shows with fanservice and there are certain magical girl outfits where I kind of give the side-eye.

Absolutely zero problem with girls fighting in pretty outfits though. I fully admit that I’m a bit of a prude so sometimes I see fanservice where there might not be any. Super short skirts without shorts, for example, inherently throw me off (shout-out to Saint Tail - which I discovered while looking up “pretty magical girl outfits” - because the main character does have a skirt in “magical girl” form but also tights/boots and a cute hat, which is one of the more unique ones I’ve seen).

Non-Miraculous Asks:

Do you mean Sailor Moon Crystal? Yeah, the only reason I hesitate on Sailor Moon in general is because I’m not crazy about the transformed designs. It’s not really a matter of animation but more a design choice that takes me out of the experience.

I have seen all of Cardcaptor Sakura anime though, and then all of the Clear Card arc. I like the former, despise the latter, and I tried to keep up with the manga but once one of the big plot details were revealed, I officially dropped it.

As for Revolutionary Girl Utena, I looked it up a while ago and don’t remember what exactly turned me away. It might’ve been the darker tone though if what you say is accurate that it’s a darker take on a magical girl show.

Also, I may or may not have looked up the ending of at least Princess Tutu and I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a great anime, but if there isn’t a happy ending then I give whatever anime a hard pass.

(note: yes, I realize the hilarity of saying that when I continue watching Miraculous)

-

(More Madoka Magica talk/salt below!)

Ohhh, it started a trend? I had no idea since I don’t actively keep up with every anime out there; descriptions need to really pull me in (the only current anime I’m keeping up with is Hanyou no Yashahime, Otherside Picnic, and Cells at Work (Season 2)).

The focus on specific--uh--body parts in magical girl transformations also reminds me that I think that’s usually what kills it for me, not because of the sexualization but because I expect transformations (especially ones that get repeated over and over) to be really dynamic with changing angles and such, which is harder to do when the camera is trying to draw focus to specific places.

Obviously you have to do it for some moments (I’ve always imagined Miraculous transformations like a potential sheep or another one for rabbit, then rabbit!Jean from Leave for Mendeleiev and fox!Juleka from LadyBugOut) because things will be weird if you focus on nothing, but I think there are ways to draw the eye without trying to sexualize.

Not having Ladybug-esque bodysuits is a good start. It reminds me too much of the Catwoman with just a bodysuit so it leaves nothing to the imagination.

How did I forget about that Sayaka scene? omg (though I dunno if the Bechdel Test is hard to pass if there aren’t really any endgame male love interests? are there rules about that? not saying a pass isn’t a pass but it feels like cheating)

It is nice when fans can respect the opinions of others without having to outright attack. I have had a few people come to me with, “I see your point/respect it even if I disagree,” instead of accusing me/others of--well, you get it.

Fandoms can be really messy, particularly as they get larger. I think there’s a certain balance between small fandoms that all know each other and a big fandom that’s out of control. Then there are things like “loud minority” and it’s just uggggh.

Anyway, back to the asks themselves, yeah, I’m not crazy about taking things that are just meant to be positive/cute/whatever and being like, “OKAY BUT WHAT IF IT WAS EDGY AND SAD.”

n o ,  p l z

Oh, I’ve never heard of that one!

Sayaka dying didn’t really do anything for me either. It’s hard to explain when I saw it so long ago, but it was just Sayaka’s attitude about the whole thing and it made it feel underwhelming. It was a shame too because I liked her and she had potential.

She was Madoka’s friend so I was just like, “Yeah, she’ll die soon.” Probably didn’t help since I knew what I knew about the show being “dark.”

Madoka/Sayaka is probably what I’d support the most out of all the potential shoujo ai ships. To my knowledge, none of them are really canon, though I remember a special song after the death Sayaka and Kyoko which I guess makes them the most canon and that did basically nothing for me since their relationship didn’t interest me (nor did I care for Kyoko as a character). The PSP game might have more intimate potential between the girls, but I never played them so I can’t make those claims (I only remember something about everyone potentially living and then a bad ending for Sayaka where part of her body was decayed when they didn’t get her soul gem back in time).

The tomboy argument makes me think back to a conversation with a friend of mine where we were discussing tomboys in anime and... we couldn’t really think of any? At least any that really qualify as “tomboy” for me.

Like, Misty from Pokemon, for example. I knoooooow everyone really likes Misty, but regardless of my opinion on her, it’s hard to see her as a tomboy.

I feel like they try to lean that way by making her super aggressive and violent (because... m E N) and I think Ash makes a comment once about her not being “like a girl,” but... I feel like that’s just how general “aggressive” female characters are written?

I mean, that’s tsundere female characters I’ve seen in general. Really loud (and not in a “gIrlS aRe sO lOuD aND ScReEcHY” way but like... the way anime gives them big heads while they scream at whatever male character they’re mad at), angry a lot, short fuse, etcetera.

But Misty is still crazy about clothes and dolls, she still gushes about cute things and romance, and both of those things seem pretty indicative of what “standard girl character” would be defined by, since they’re all “stereotypically girl thing” (I say stereotypically for obvious reasons since boys can like blah and girls can like blah and gender exclusivity is blah--). I get that she dresses differently, but that’s about it, and it comes off like, “she dresses differently and she’s ANGRY and VIOLENT, so she’s a tomboy,” which... yeah. They even gave her three beauty queen sisters with CURVES and BUSTS as if to say, “See?? These are GIRLS, not TOMBOYS.” (busty females can exist who are also tomboys, thank you have a nice day).

This becomes more complicated in magical girl anime since girly clothes are usually part of that so “tomboy” means that frills and skirts probably wouldn’t be a factor.

I mean, if you gave those sorts of outfits to me, I’d be like, “SCREW IT, I’M NOT A MAGICAL GIRL ANYMORE. IF LOOKING PRETTY IS REDUCED TO SKIRTS AND FRILLS, SOMEONE ELSE CAN SAVE THE WORLD.”

I’d also like to see some mixes between personalites and “tomboy” things. Like, non-stereotypical tomboy personalities doing tomboy things. Mix and match, y’know?

This was really rambly, but to answer the question... no, I wouldn’t count Sayaka as a tomboy.

All of this.

I think it also exemplifies the whole “dark and edgy magical girl show” thing because... ugh, how do I put this...

The “girls are overly emotional” thing is already bad, but then you realize that there not being any magical boys is also because that doesn’t hit the “shock value” threshold as much.

Y’know, because boys equal dark and edgy shows, so if there was even one magical boy it wouldn’t be as shocking when Mami gets her head chomped. They could’ve done, “emotional teenagers are the target because they’re in that vulnerable stage; smarter and more physically capable than children, but not as mature/stable as adults,” but having some boys in there for balance (it makes me feel weird saying that when I’m all for girl power shows with an all female cast, but in this show’s logic, it’s a different ball game) would make the show seem less bright and “girly” and thus lessen the shock value.

Does that make sense?

[transcendentcacophony]

Thinking about Posts and Tumblr

So I responded to an earlier post from @kalesims in the comments. I probably should have reblogged it so I didn't have to break up my response which may have made it less than useful (and potentially read to mean the opposite of what I meant), but I also wanted to move a bit beyond the initial prompt with this longer one. I have not posted much Sims stuff in awhile. Part of this is because school and work demands are eating so much of my time right now1, part of this that ongoing pursuit of perfection we all seem to have to some extent on social media, and part of it is because I may have dumped my entire CC folder into my game without sorting it properly and now it runs like rubbish and I have to fix it. Regardless, I'm going to focus on issue #2 the ongoing pursuit of perfection, because I think this is the most relevant bit and the one I've been thinking a lot about lately. Tumblr is a social media platform. (This bit is a little academic, sorry.) I think we all know that, but do we ever really think about what that means? It's ultimately a company that provides a public-facing platform with the explicit intent of marketing ourselves to each other. More likes and followers for you=more ads and money for Tumblr, but they have to incentivize that for any of us to care. How do they do that? Make it a popularity contest. How often do you look at your likes or followers count? What emotional response do you have when they're low? How many creators incentivize new followers or more likes by releasing content to correlate with milestones in those areas? This is all part of feeding that beast2. It also draws on something referred to academically as the "hedonic treadmill," which is basically the keeping up with the Joneses mentality where we constantly compare our success to our peers and find ourselves wanting, even if we aren't. This is going somewhere, I promise.

When I first started Tumblr, I had one blog: transcendentcacophony. I started it explicitly to follow sims blogs I liked and keep track of the cc I downloaded or things that caught my attention, and my initial posts all reflected that. After I was on for a while, I realized most blogs compartmentalized to a certain degree: you have a blog for gameplay, a blog for cc finds, a blog for interest x, etc., so, not being particularly versed in these things, I thought "This is how you tumble!" and immediately set about creating sideblogs like transcendentcacophonyinspire, transcendentcacophonys3cc, or transcendentcacophonystudyblr. I went through my entire archive, moved everything over to its new home, and deleted the original posts and reblogs from this page. Does that mean I think having all the sideblogs is wrong? Nope. The organization of having sideblogs is sometimes helpful, but they they make me feel kind of fractured on some level. None of these provide an image of a whole person, just brief glimpses of an aspect. Sometimes I regret having split the off, other times I find it more convenient. Mileage may vary, but the obvious winner for the sideblog model is arguably Tumblr. None of my blogs have many followers, but there isn't as much overlap in audience as you might think and if they were all still one blog, I doubt there'd be as many as there are.

This raises the question of who you intend your blog to be for. Is it for Tumblr, so they can keep making that sweet sweet ad revenue? Is it for the online audience? Or is it for you? Who do you see as your primary audience? The structure of social media clearly wants us to say everyone else. "You're here for the likes! The followers! The popularity!" Other companies lean in to this as well. How many followers do you have to have to qualify as an EA Game Changer?

I would argue that it's this pressure to have all likes, followers, etc., that prohibit us from posting what we really want to post. Are you posting the things that actually make you happy? Or are you posting the things that you think an audience wants to see?

Learning anything takes a lot of practice. How many times did you fall off before you learned to ride a bike? How many broken and malformed pots do you make before you get a perfect one? We learn by doing. Waiting for that perfect screenshot or getting reshade just right or having the perfect city in CAW keeps us from posting our broken pots. Maybe we need to post more broken pots.

If something makes us happy, does it need to be perfect, or do we love it anyway? "This is my first pot! It sucks, but I made it! Finishing it alone is an accomplishment! It's mine and I'm learning and I want to show that process so we can all get better together!" Shouldn't our screenshots or gameplay or worldbuilding be the same?

I am building a world in CAW. I've been doing it for quite awhile, and I have an entire folder full of broken pots as a result, but I learned something every time I broke one. When I read CAW forums, I learn more from the ones where things don't work than from ones where they do. I post some of my broken pots, and simmers like @nilxis or @murfeelee are so supportive and helpful and give me tips on how to better and fix issues I'm having. I value that part of this community. I don't learn to do better by not showing off my broken pots.

I know some of my interests are pretty niche. I'm building an alien scifi world, I have conversion projects from games that support that but probably won't be useful to mainstream simmers. I made a series of alien moons in conjunction with simblu, who is now deactivated. These are arguably not things that will get a lot of likes, reblogs, or followers, but they are things that make me happy. Kurt Vonnegut once said when he wrote books, he always wrote with only 2 people in mind: himself and his sister. His goal was that at the very least he would like what he wrote, and a few of the books were written with her in mind, and if anyone else liked it, it was just gravy. I can’t say I’m a fan of the man’s writing, but I kind of like the idea of this mentality.

To that end, I think I'm going to change up how I use this blog moving forward, with the express goal of posting more often and with more emphasis on things that make me happy or show off more of my broken pots. Maybe it will cost me followers, maybe it won't, but it will help me carve this little niche out of the internet that is mine, that makes me happy, and that seeks to support the simmers and other community members3 that have been so supportive of me in the past. If just one or two people get something from it, or are entertained, isn’t that still just as valid?

I don't mean to imply in any way that posting what makes you happy can't make you popular, or gain likes and followers. It's very much possible. Vonnegut wrote his books for himself and he published 14 novels, three short story collections, five plays, and five nonfiction works, complete with film adaptations of several, literary prizes, etc. You can be successful doing what you love.

But I don't know that I need to be successful at it. I want to be happy doing it first, and anything outside of that is gravy. I'm going to post more broken pots and worry less about perfection or "doing it right." I'm going to fall off the bike and get back up and keep going. And maybe, by falling and failing, I'll get better or at least good enough or comfortable enough I'm not worried so much about that quest for perfection that is currently prohibiting me from trying.

Anyways, @kalesims, I don't know if that answers the original question you had. But I'd love to see what you post, be it gameplay, screenshots, cc, etc., really whatever floats your boat, moving forward. And, if you're willing, I'd love to learn by doing together. Let's go break some pots.

1 Whoever decided the best way to avoid outbreaks on campus was to just cancel all breaks and holidays over the last year clearly doesn't understand college students (who very much are still having parties and making up their own breaks) or that the reason we have those breaks is for mental health. Fall break was specifically added to reduce suicide rates among graduate students. And admin wonders why everyone hates them... 2 There's a researcher who looks at social media as a neoliberal marketplace that forces us to monetize ourselves without necessarily allowing us to realize that's what we're doing. She's got a book coming out about it next month if anyone is interested: Pain Generation: Social Media, Feminist Activism, and the Neoliberal Self(ie)

3I have in no way forgotten you, @piyotan, and you are definitely part of my online community, this was just targeted largely at simming.

[dolcetters]

vanilla sunday .

no one asked, i just heckin’ felt like it m’dude. under readmore for length. i’ll try to keep my answers relatively to-the-point, too, since this’ll be a longer post but feel free to inquire on things or ... whatever u-u/ aye. i go sleep now.

is your muse a romantic? do they dream of love and marriage?

short answer: no.

as a teenager, dol didn’t have much interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with any of his peers around yuflam--or at all, really. by the time he got to academy things were either too busy or starting to get too tense for him to consider the idea. and shortly after that he went over a decade thinking he’d never even see sunlight again.

at this point, he just... --it’s just another thing he might want but doesn’t recognize it as something he wants. because he’s earnestly so bad at listening to his own desires and is more than willing to cast them aside if it means aiding someone he cares about achieve their own.

is your muse a deviant? are they overly flirtatious or forward?

no. there’s no real expansion on this, just no. <xD he tends to be much more bashful and sheepish, partially because of aforementioned inability to recognize he might want a relationship with someone. and even if he DOES realize this, he’s... extremely self aware. we’ll leave it at that.

is your muse good at kissing? are they experienced?

NOPE. and no. he’s never kissed anyone.

does your muse initiate a lot of physical contact?

nooooo no no no. he has an anxiety disorder (haphephobia) revolving around physical contact and even something as “small” as shaking hands or a shoulder bump can make him very nervous, uncomfortable and alert. the reaction is almost doubled if it comes with the sensation or energy of being grabbed.

it’s going to take a lot of time, patience, and trust for him to be comfortable initiating physical contact with you.

is your muse comfortable with public displays of affection?

no, for both the above reason as well as the paranoia that comes with being a fugitive/legally dead. the less attention that’s drawn to him, the better. at most, he’d hold your hand... but refer to the previous question for that.

does your muse steal clothing from their partner?

less “steal” and more borrow. due to having limited resources after escaping the labs and very few belongings he can truly call his own, dol wouldn’t/doesn’t just take or use things that belong to friends, family or potential partners (part of this spurs from his OWN resource guarding). he’d be more likely to approach you while you were brushing your teeth and be like “hey, s’it cool if i wear your hoodie today” and then respond based on that answer.

and he’s going to ask you every time. he doesn’t assume.

is your muse the big spoon or the little spoon?

varies! but most likely, when they’re facing each other, he little-spoons because pressing his face into the curve of the neck just above the collar is not only secure and comforting somehow, but he can hear your heartbeat.

when one of them is facing away, he tends to big spoon. --and obviously this is all assuming he’s at that level of comfort when it comes to physical touch + the partner.

is your muse comfortable with, or proud of their body? are they insecure?

complicated?

he’s very comfortable and proud of his body when it comes to his physical build, strength, fitness, etc. his strength and speed is something he values and keeping himself healthy and capable is very important to him. he knows he’s done a good job (those arms don’t lie) and he takes pride in that.

~however~, being a chimera... --he’s optimistic, yes. he’s just happy to be alive, of course. it’s not so bad. ...but he is fully, deeply, and painfully aware of how someone might react to witnessing some of his “quirks” when it comes to his splice or the idea of being with someone who isn’t entirely human. and the fact that he often became a target of light jabbing and jokes with the nesties, because dog behavior is much more well-known and commonly familiar than croc or snake or bull behavior, has only added to this awareness.

then, of course, there’s the added detail that he’s not even a perfected chimera. he’s just a successful one. a C- on some government biology test; barely passing.

so yeah. there’s some surface level pride, but... a lot of shame underneath.

is your muse attracted to any features in particular?

physical? no.

he has a soft spot and respect for people who refuse to give into their pain, though. where he experienced trauma and fear and let it make him hardened in a lot of ways, there are other people who have only become brighter, warmer, and do whatever they can to keep someone else from experiencing what they have.

to say he admires that trait in a person is an understatement.

have their crushes been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

he’s only really had two, and they’ve both been gals, so i guess that makes it mostly female. i’ve mentioned before that he might have been uselessly in love with martel in the time before the raid (whether she felt the same is unknown) and he in default verse is lowkey sweet on rose.

have their partners been mostly male, mostly female, or evenly split?

he hasn’t had a partner.

is your muse easily flustered? do they blush, swear, etc.?

yes, yes, yes. him being flustered is usually a combo-result of: (1) not being used to that kind of attention from someone he actually likes,  (2) having no idea how to respond, (3) internalized shame over what he is, and (4) he’s a fucking idiot.

where is your muse most sensitive?

his head, mostly, especially on his hair line and around the ears.

and i can 10000% promise to you that if he ever lets you comb your fingers in his hair or rub around his temples and you make some kind of dog-related-comment, you’re actually going to cause a shit-ton of psychic damage i’m gonna need you to roll like 10d6 for me.

please, please please please don’t ever refer to him as--or make jokes connecting him to--a dog in moments that are supposed to be vulnerable and/or intimate, i can’t... express this enough, it will hurt him.

is your muse more submissive or dominant in a relationship?

idk, i guess submissive but again: idk

would your muse ever tempt their partner, e.g. flirting, wearing tight/sexy clothing?

nah. not really his thing.

if he does “tempt” them it’s going to be sincerely accidental. like... yeah you walked in on me doing pull-ups i guess. would you hand me my water bottle? i’m parched.

does your muse initiate heated/sexual contact, or do they wait for their partner?

i feel like this question deserves it’s own post because i have a LOT of thoughts regarding rosecetto, specifically, on this topic.

outside of that ship, however, the answer is likely no. he’s not the initiator primarily for touch-anxiety reasons and also chimera-related-shame reasons, even if the partner has assured him there’s nothing wrong with him in the past.

does your muse leave hickies? do they ask for them?

eeehhhhh???? ... i guess accidentally sometimes?? and no.

does your muse like to be pinned down, or to pin their partner?

that’s a big NO. if you pin him down, even if he’s reached a point of security with you that he allows you to touch him, you’re going to flare up any of that anxiety that had previously subsided. he’s been physically restrained and held down far too long and all for bad/painful reasons, and he can’t associate it with anything other than “they’re going to hurt me and i need to get away, no matter what i have to do”.

as for pinning his partner, it’s likely also a no because he’d just... be too aware of his own trauma to even try doing it and he’d probably be uncomfortable being asked to do it.

has your muse reached first/second/third base? home run?

honey, he’s done nothing, he hasn’t even swung--

would your muse be interested in engaging with multiple partners?

no. he doesn’t see anything wrong with it when it comes to other people but this is definitely not for him or something he could be comfortable with.

would your muse ever send a sexual text message? would they send pictures?

n/a, but even in modern verses the answer would be no

does your muse read smut, own magazines, or watch p-rn?

nah

is your muse the type to discuss their sex life or sexual prowess with others?

abso. fucking lutely. not. no no no.

at absolute. MOST? he might open up to sakura (yinseal) about it. maybe greed (avadite). and it’d only be if he felt like he was doing something wrong or felt overwhelmed and self-conscious. but otherwise this is his and his partner’s business.

is your muse a top, a bottom, or a switch? do they have a lean?

defaults to bottom but will top if asked or in some circumstances.

crystal has confirmed that rose (forsakenflora) tops, so jfdlfjklsjkldhsd

how interested is your muse in sex and sexual activity?

he’s not.

it’s not a priority of his, and he definitely doesn’t want to hear about yours.

do they have sex frequently, occasionally, or rarely?

not at all right now jf kljdklhshf lhfklsdg

[polaristranslations]

The Eleventh Box

   ■   ■

There's a quote that goes, "There is a mysterious victory in winning, but there is no mysterious defeat in losing"—but if I'd heard that quote at the time, I would've considered my overwhelming defeat against Chinu Namaji in the basketball-themed Formation Game so mysterious that it couldn't be helped.

I, at the time.

I say it like that because now, I've realized that the reason I lost was neither mysterious nor wondrous, but perfectly reasonable—so, the reason I feel bitter when I recall that defeat is not because I lost, but because I failed to properly accept that loss.

You get it, right?

Not understanding why you've lost—in other words, it's the same as not recognizing that you've lost at all. You may think your loss is mysterious, and you may be thinking about the cause of your loss, but in the end, the essence of it is just a physiological reaction of not wanting to admit defeat.

However.

Now that I've largely recognized the immaturity of my past self, and of course now that I've recognized my defeat against Chinu Namaji, if there was one thing I still wanted to insist upon—it would be that it was precisely the aim of my senior, my predecessor, Chinu Namaji, to make me experience such things, so it was not just a matter of simply reflecting on this point.

Hm?

You don't get it?

Basically, what I mean is that Chinu-senpai's aim was to make me lose—that's obvious, you say? It's natural to try and win when it comes to a competition, you say? Well, Torai Kudaki, that might be natural to a person like you—but for Chinu Namaji, this had occurred right after she'd faced off against someone that it hadn't been natural for. As a result, her value system had shifted subtly—shifted, or perhaps, wavered.

Anyway.

Chinu-senpai's aim was to make me lose, or more specifically, to make me lose and then make me feel like I couldn't accept that loss—it wouldn't be until a little later that I'd realize that. Immature as I was at the time, there was no way I'd be able to read that much into a person's mind—or rather, I'd simply thought that when two people face off against each other, it always meant a confrontation, a duel. In that sense, I wasn't much different from you right now—I'd thought it was a matter of course that to fight meant to win.

Shamefully—and yet, shamelessly, as well.

That was who I was.

It sort of meant that I'd been outwitted by Chinu-senpai's roundabout way of doing things—well, talking about my defeats isn't something I'm very comfortable with, but then again, it does happen to be the theme of the very matter I'm telling you about.

My defeat.

I was telling you about my minus, wasn't I—but anyway, I'm sure you'll be bored if I lengthily explained how the Formation Game progressed, so I'll make it short and sweet.

Thinking about it now, though, it's a game with a lot of depth to it.

Thinking about it now—or rather, if I played it again now—I feel as if I would approach it differently. They say a great player does not always make a great coach, but it's extremely interesting to be able to participate in the game from a position that wasn't the player's.

Well, I don't think it's a good idea to assume causation between anything and everything—but as the Student Council President, the fact that I had experienced this game in my first year of middle school could be the reason why I was very careful in selecting the other members of the Student Council. Well, putting aside whether or not I was careful, it could be the reason why I'd taken so much time.

That carefulness ended up being taken advantage of by Kumagawa Misogi, though, so the world is a rather complicated place—and I have to say it's even a little bit mysterious.

   ■   ■

To keep it short.

You could say my selection of the five members was reasonable—they were all students that seemed to be good at sports. Of course, I was just a first-year that had barely entered school—it wasn't as if I had any information regarding the students' grades in physical education, or if they were regulars in clubs, or anything like that.

It's not like I was Shiranui Hansode.

In that sense, Chinu-senpai, who'd been here at Hakobune Middle School a year longer than I had, certainly had the advantage at this game. Although, since the rules forbid selection of former girls' basketball team members, the advantage might not have been as great as it seemed.

After all, while it was hard to know how good or bad one's grades were unless you asked to see their report card, when it came to physical education, you could, to a certain extent, tell if they were good or bad by looking at their body.

You could more or less tell what their muscles were like, even with clothes on—and in the sport of basketball, one's height was also an important factor.

So, when I looked for students that remained at school, even if I didn't know their name, class, year, or blood type—while I wouldn't say I knew at a single glance, I had a certain method for choosing who I called out to.

And if I called out to them and they ended up stating that they weren't good at sports, then it was a simple matter of withdrawing—there's a saying that goes, "Even the poorest shot will hit the target if he shoots often enough," and while it's not a saying I like because of its lack of ambition, that sort of trial-and-error was necessary when it came to scouting.

There was no rule that said that you must add someone to your team once you've made contact with them—and so, I flew out of the gymnasium and began running around the campus of Hakobune Middle School.

If we were allowed to add boys to our teams, then I would have gone and brought in Zenkichi to my team, but that was properly prohibited by the rules. It was possible that Chinu-senpai restricted the players to girls only specifically to prevent me from making contact with Zenkichi for this game—perhaps I was reading too much into things, but as far as I could tell, that's what Chinu-senpai was like.

Looking two, three steps ahead—or looking far, far ahead—and then taking measures in advance. She seemed to live a life that was like first-out rock-paper-scissors, or maybe more like a flying start.

Of course, this didn't even need to be said, but—no matter the sport, a flying start was against regulations, so if you kept doing it, you would eventually suffer the painful repercussions.

Anyway, as I ran through the school building, I didn't make any contact with Zenkichi anyway—rather, it was possible that guy had already gone back home. In middle school, Zenkichi didn't participate in any clubs and instead was a part of the going-home club—so that was probably the case.

In Hakobune Middle School, there were no classes that had special exemptions from attendance like Class 13 in Hakoniwa Academy, so I was enrolled in a normal class. As such, I did have female friends and acquaintances, and I did catch sight of a few of them as I ran around the school. However, they were freshmen like me, so even if it were easy to invite them, and even if they would probably participate in the game if I asked them—even if I were to gather members with the same stance, I didn't feel comfortable getting them wrapped up my confrontation with our upperclassman, Chinu-senpai.

Aside from Zenkichi.

And so, I ran around the school, looking for members—If you only listened to what I said about my classmates, it may sound like I was scouting while trying not to inconvenience people. But I'd been going around calling out to sophomores ready to leave for home and seniors who were still in the middle of club activities, so there was no way I was trying not to inconvenience people with that.

When it came to a competition, I faced it head-on—or rather, I stopped being able to look at anything else, which was clearly a characteristic of mine. Looking at it that way, it surprisingly felt like I haven't grown since my first year of middle school. Inexperienced as I still am, I guess I'm still too young to be mature. I couldn't even begin to cover for myself—but anyway, I went to the grounds and went out of my way to call out to seniors in the middle of their club activities.

I pulled out top-level members from various clubs, and managed to put together a group of five.

Of course, it wasn't by ordinary means—if you were called out to by some freshman you didn't know while you were busy, and they wanted to drag you into some inexplicable game without any clear objective, it wouldn't just be suspicious. It would be natural to be on your guard—no, even if you took out being on your guard, it would be natural to find it troublesome or bothersome or something like that.

Not everyone was like me, after all. Not everyone was as simple as I was, with my skin crawling at the mere sound of a competition or confrontation or duel—rather than skin crawling, it was more like losing my cool, though.

They may say that a competitive nature is the fate of all people, but that still had its limits—but wait, was I reflecting on myself too much there? The fact of the matter is that, whatever it was, it surely had to be because I was young at the time. I was running around the school like a dog chasing whatever moved—so if I made a mistake here, it would be that, with my own human nature being unchangeable, I assumed that Chinu-senpai was approaching this game in the same way.

That she loved competing.

That she loved battling.

And, more than anything, that she loved to win—since she wanted to have a match against me, I insistently, or selfishly, got the wrong impression and made a huge mistake that could not be taken back.

Of course, I can only say this now after all this time.

Thinking about it, having an objective when going into a competition was the natural course of things, so my attitude of fighting without any purpose was quite dangerous. In that sense, Chinu-senpai was "right"... It's hard to know what's right or not until you get the chance to look back.

Now then—allow me to omit the wily ways in which I managed to coax those top-level seniors from their clubs into joining my team. That's in order to keep this story from getting too long, but also because I don't want to expose you to my rashness, which was extremely strong at the time. Just think of it as vanity—all you need to understand is that it wasn't a very praiseworthy approach.

The fact that I was defeated on top of that made it all the more uncool—anyway, I led the five aces of the athletic clubs back to the gymnasium. As for what club each of them were in... Hm? Those are the minor details I should be omitting? Well, I suppose. In any case, I selected tall people who seemed rather athletic—and, though it hadn't been my intention, the result was that they were all third-year students.

Well, the deciding factor as to why they accepted my invitation was more due to their knowledge of the strange connection between the Servant of Destruction and me, rather than because they were overcome by any forceful solicitation of mine.

Even though I was just a first-year that had just entered the school, the Servant of Destruction had made a name for himself—or so they said.

When I returned to the gymnasium with my team of distinguished members, I was met by Chinu Namaji and the members that she had lined up. Since I didn't think I'd spent that much time, I was shocked to find that my opponent had returned to the gymnasium before me—even though the order had no effect on the outcome of the Formation Game, it felt like she'd gotten a step ahead of me, like she'd already scored the first point. But after that, I was shocked once again by the members she'd chosen.

Like this, you may already be able to guess—yes, that was exactly it. Chinu-senpai's line-up of members was—made up entirely of first-years that had just entered the school, like me.

   ■   ■

Chinu-senpai, was, well, an upperclassman from us first-years' point of view—so naturally, if she just waved around her upperclassman aura, it wouldn't be too hard to scout some first-years. In that sense, it was easy to understand how she was able to gather five people in such a short amount of time.

However, to repeat myself, this was not a competition to see who could gather members faster—nevertheless, it seemed as if Chinu-senpai prioritized only the speed in which she gathered members.

Basically, this was another reason why I'd been outdone by Chinu-senpai. Candidates for the formation of a team will usually be those who excel in athletic ability, and those who excel in athletic ability often have that self-awareness—they often wouldn't sell their abilities too cheaply. Kind of like how pride prevents professionals from playing in amateur games—so, for this game (which looks like just playing around from an outsider's point of view), it's not very easy to invite the best of the best.

And so, Chinu-senpai slipped past that difficulty by choosing first-years who weren't as developed physically—well, in general it's hard to call that "slipping past".

Of course, even though there is natural order between young and old, it didn't necessarily mean that the third-years were physically superior to the first-years—you could consider me an exception, but in general, the growth rate of humans was certainly diverse.

Still, it was a bit of a bizarre plan to have all first-years on her team—and I wasn't so callous to see that and think, "Okay, I've got the upper hand. I've as good as won this Formation Game."

What I did worry about was the possibility that the third-years might get offended and leave—if that was her goal of the all-first-year team, which looked like it was making light of the game... I realized that could certainly have been one strategy.

"Right. Then, shall we begin, Kurokami-chan—"

Chinu-senpai said.

With an expression of feigned ignorance—a nonchalant face.

Her demeanor didn't reveal her true intentions at all—it was impossible to gauge. However, it wouldn't have been quite right to raise any complaints there. If I had asked her to please go and choose new members, then (disregarding Chinu-senpai herself) it would certainly be rude to the members who had been chosen. In any case, even my classmates were among the five girls—it felt like Chinu-senpai had picked the route I'd avoided and gone down it as quickly as possible.

I wondered if it was a strategy of not taking the game seriously and deliberately creating a reason to lose in order to save face when she lost—if so, I thought it was a waste of time.

And to avoid wasting any more time, I'll just get on with it like Chinu-senpai said—that was what I thought. And without complaining, and without even asking for the reason behind her team formation...

"Yes, let's begin,"

I agreed.

Of course, Chinu-senpai's intentions were not that in the slightest—however, it must have been perfectly within her intentions when I didn't complain or question her despite my doubts.

A tremendous level of playmaking.

No.

I should call it, captaincy.

   ■   ■

16 to 22.

As for what these numbers meant—they were the results of the basketball game between my all-star team and Chinu-senpai's freshman team.

Since I've already told you that the game ended in my loss, it should be obvious whose score was 16 and whose score was 22—basically, with a six-point difference, the all-star team lost to the freshman team.

There was nothing strange over the course of the game.

At the very least, if you looked at each person's play individually, there was nothing strange—the way the first-years played was rather faltering, while the third-years played adroitly.

Nevertheless.

The winners were the first-years—and the losers were the third-years.

Even the losing all-star team was less rueful about their loss and more amazed at how the score had ended up like that—in other words, they felt the same as I did.

There is a mysterious victory in winning, but there is no mysterious defeat in losing—putting aside the first-years being mystified by their victory, why were the third-years and I being mystified by our loss...?

Before I could sort out my feelings, Chinu-senpai spoke.

As if trying to land the finishing blow.

"Kurokami-chan."

I wouldn't go as far as describing it as beating a dead horse, but her way of speaking was akin to beating a defeated horse.

"Then, since it's my win—shall I have you listen to one of my requests?"

"Eh?"

Eh?

That wasn't really the response I should've been making.

But after being told that, for the very first time, I had come to realize that I'd never once imagined my own loss before.

"No need to worry. I plan on properly explaining the reason you lost—if you want, I'll even explain the reason I resigned from the position of Treasurer in the Student Council Executive Committee, and the reason the girls' basketball team ended up in this state, too."

"N—no. I did lose, so I don't need to hear those reasons..."

To be honest, I didn't—I couldn't think that I had completely lost, but since it was clear that I'd lost at least formally and superficially, I said as such. But Chinu-senpai wouldn't listen.

"I'll have you listen, even if you don't want to hear it. Because, after hearing those reasons—you'll use that same method."

Chinu-senpai said.

Chinu Namaji said—that was her objective.

"In order to take Kumagawa Misogi down."

[emsartwork]

Sorry if you’ve already answered this but J was wondering if you could talk more the girls childhood/growing up? Love what you’re doing btw, absolutely adore how you’ve basically recreated the Winx world! 💗

Thank you!!! and sure thing! long post ahead

BLOOM: she never really had any problems family wise, Vanessa and Mike told her she was adopted at like…. Age 7 or so (in a positive affirming way obvi) and even if any kids teased her about it she never doubted her parent’s love for her. Even with Daphne’s spell helping her blend in with earth life, Bloom still had a nagging sense she didn’t “fit”, and got lost in fantasy books and art whenever possible. Growing up she deals with some body image issues that probably stem from the whole wrong fit feeling. Bloom grew up an artistic and quiet kid, Mitzi and Selina were her best friends from childhood, and because they both had really strong personalities, Bloom often repressed her own feelings in order to play peace maker. Up until high school, where Mitzi, who was always the leader, slowly started to turn into a bully in order to gain the approval/fear of her peers, targeting Selina specifically. Bloom was more of a follower at the time and just didn’t want to loose her friends so she didn’t stand up to Mitzi but tried to treat Selina as if nothing had changed, which was not cool with Selina and she not-so-subtly started to reject Bloom as a friend. Bloom, for her part, did get her shit together and stand up to Mitzi, loosing her only other friend right before her senior year of highschool (she was still technically friends with Andy but they had also just broken up and everything was awkward lmao). Bloom regrets not standing up to Mitzi sooner, and wants to rekindle her friendship with Selina (and Mitzi if she’s willing to tone down the bitchiness).  

STELLA: So Stella’s childhood is a little more complicated. Stella is the first SoLuna heir in Solarian history, and a very loud minority protested her very existence. Stella also had to stay close to the Second Sun of Solaria as a child, so she had a very solitary and confined early childhood in a wing of the Solarian castle. When she did figure out how to sneak out she was only 10 or so, and spent most of the time just wandering around the capital city. She didn’t have any problems in the city, but an off duty guard recognized her and took her back to the palace. Stella was then sent to an elite boarding school under a false name (Sasha), she formed close friends with Nova and Varanda, but the trio was the target of the rest of the school’s bullies (for various reasons). Junior high was peak nerd Stella, but she “princess Diary-ed” herself when starting high school and started placing all of her value in her appearance and status as a sex object. Her parents’ marriage was also starting to crumble and Stella felt like she had lost their love. Because Stella craves validation and affection, this lead to a couple bad relationships because the only way she could get people to “love her” in her brain was through physical intimacy, even if it didn’t really fill the void she felt. Nova and Varanda were her rocks during this period and Stella was able to learn to love herself first with their help. Stella was insanely nervous to leave her friends and go to Alfea, and tried to force friendships with other people originally, (this mostly lead to people thinking she was annoying and getting multiple censures from Griselda), and her first genuine connection on Magix was with “Prince Sky” (Brandon). Nova and Varanda were VERY worried when Stella first told them about “Prince Sky”(Brandon) and how fast they had gotten into a relationship and they may have stalked/threatened him on a visit to Stella but they eventually came around and started to like him. Stella being expelled was only kind of an accident, Varanda texted Stella in the middle of a Chemancy class her application to Alfea for the next year had been accepted and Stella got SUPER excited and blew up the classroom. She probably could have stayed in school but her response to Fraragona and Griselda’s “now what do you have to say for yourself young lady” was *giddy laughter* and “ i only wish the explosion had been big enough to send me forward to next year!!!!!” and griselda was like “either she goes or I go” and Stella was like “ya gurl i gone” of course her time back on Solaria didn’t go exactly as planned as her parents were just fighting every time they tried to do something together making her people pleasing/self blaming tendencies worse. 

FLORA: ahhh my baby So Flora does remember her father, not a lot and she feel guilty she doesn’t remember more, but she was only 7 when he died. Alyssa remarried when Flora was 13, and eventually she adjusted to having a younger sister who she loves very much now. Due to Rhodos’s nature preservation needing a lot of room for study Flora and Miele grew up pretty far away from any town and didn’t have a lot of friends. This is primarily why Flora and Miele are so close despite their age difference, and why Flora took her role as protector so intensely; she was the only one there (I mean besides the parents obviously). Flora did well in school though she was quiet and reserved, which made making friends even harder than living in the middle of nowhere. She figured out the best way to make people like her was to give them what they wanted, and this snowballed into Flora becoming kind of doormat not comfortable with voicing her true feelings and faking a lot what people expected from her. Flora has a lot of repressed…… everything (Bloom mostly just has a lot of repressed anger she’s good with other emotions lmao) she has trouble identifying what she’s feeling and for the most part is content to leave her feelings buried as long as the surface remains calm. The Winx do help her start to access her feeling more, and encourage her whenever she does voice an opinion. Helia is a perfect match for her in the sense that his quiet nature leaves Flora to express herself without trying to mold herself into whatever she thinks he wants (of course on the flip side this also means Flora and Helia have issues with communication and repression but that’s another topic). 

AISHA: hoo boy another complicated one. Aisha was raised in a strict environment, this mostly stems from her parents and their more…. anxious natures, but royalty on Andros is not as free as some of the other planets. Aisha’s world consisted of lessons and adults and rules and she had very little control over her own life. Aisha met Anne in a rare moment of freedom in the tidal gardens where Anne’s father worked. Anne was biding her time waiting for her dad to get off work so they could grab some dinner and was dancing. Aisha just watched her for a while before Anne noticed her and asked her if she wanted to play. The two formed a fast friendship, and Aisha finally started to feel like she had some sort of influence in her own life as she snuck out of lessons to play with Anne every evening she could(obviously their favorite thing to do was dance lol) Unfortunately Anne and her father disappeared one night. Aisha lost her only friend, the only social outlet she had, her one source of freedom, and couldn’t even figure out what had happened. Feeling so out of control lead to a pretty bad anxiety disorder for most of her teens, primarily triggered by the dark or being trapped in some way. She also has issues trusting others and letting people help her. Aisha started to act out, trying to exert any kind of control and relieve some of her anxiety. Her risk taking behavior got pretty bad, but she had started to tone it down after she met and bonded with Piff(royal business trip to Magix she skipped out on). Of course when the pixies went missing she wasn’t going to let her friendship vanish again and tracked them down with a not so healthy single minded determination.

TECNA: born to higher class parents, Tecna had greatness thrust upon her from an early age. She received extra training and education basically from birth, which she was fine with for the most part. Tecna grew up being able to handle academic pressure very well and met all of her teacher’s and parent’s expectations.  She and Riven had a brief collision as preteens in a school before Riven got expelled. Tecna’s one issue was that of her emotional intelligence, Zenith doesn’t really place an emphasis on that, so she was able to advance through high school very predictably until she attended a non-Zenith based workshop for magic. She found herself socially ostracized and very very confused. Of course Tecna had never met a subject she couldn’t master and emotions wouldn’t be an exception right??? Wrong. Zenith’s information about the brain and the chemicals produced was of no help, her teachers and parents didn’t understand why Tecna suddenly had this new interest in such an illogical subject, and worst of all, Tecna realized she didn’t understand her own brain chemicals. Tecna had a mini existential crisis, realized she had no idea what she even wanted to do with her life or why it mattered and applied to the Alfea Fairy program because “FAIRY MAGIC EMOTION MAGIC HELP” also it would offer her strong emotional experiences(transformations basically require it), the opportunity to work closely in groups, and personally obverse her dorm-mates emotional states. She got way more than she bargained for but doesn’t regret it a bit.

MUSA: my angst child T-T so basically, the first half of her childhood is p good, her parents work really hard and don’t always have enough money but the family unit is pretty stable. At around 12, Musa’s mom gets sick. Nobody is too worried at first, but she never seems to get better and she takes a big turn for the worse when Musa is about 16, Matlin is finally diagnosed with Core Failure Syndrome. CFS is similar to Core Fatigue, but while Core Fatigue can be remedied fairly easily with rest and magic, CFS is virtually incurable unless it’s caught really early. The causes are still unknown, and the symptoms (fatigue, nausea, cognition issues, and muscle weakness) can be prolonged but mild until it’s too late. In the later stages (extreme fatigue, numbness in the extremities, chest pain, joint pain, memory/focus issues, inability to keep food down)  all you can do is try to make the afflicted comfortable. Ho-boe is understandably distraught, and tries to freelance write for music but goes into a pretty bad depressive state. Musa has a few odd jobs here and there, and thats mostly what’s keeping them afloat among heavy medical debt. Musa latches on to her mother for emotional support as Ho-boe is super dissociated. When Matlin does pass as Musa turns 18, Ho-boe finally breaks, and violently destroys every last reminder of Matlin because he can’t deal with the pain. Musa, who has suddenly had her one emotional anchor cut off, is super freaked out and scared by this and it really damages their relationship going forward. Musa becomes incredibly anxious, and can’t really process her mother's death because her father won’t talk about it with her and is still shut off emotionally. Moving to Magix only worsened it as Musa rebelled and went after music with a desperate passion. Applying to Alfea was a way for Musa to get out of the house, and she and her father weren’t on speaking terms when she did leave for the college. Musa had planned on learning more magic to further her career as a musician, special effects infusing magic into a song rubbing shoulders with rich and well connected people who could possibly get her connected to the big shots in music….. The winx situations had her change some of her long term plans a little, but her connection with the group + her separation anxiety and fierce loyalty didn’t really leave any other choice lol 

[gifti3]

honey

ayy im back again with another jjba and game crossover! I’ve had this idea for awhile and I’m finally getting most of it out of my system now!

It’s pretty much huniepop but with jjba characters, and Bruno is your love fairy! so yea warning this is 18+  ——

Summary:  You’ve never sexted before but no worries cause your love fairy Bruno’s here to help!

——

You sat on your bed, staring at your phone, putting every single brain cell  to work. You were texting one of the many people you were currently fooling around with.

Bruno places his chin on your shoulder as he reads what you’ve typed so far.

He tuts at what he sees. “You aren’t very good at this…”

You huff. “Well, it’s not like I’ve ever sexted before!”

And you were only in this situation because of this man–er fairy!

You had met him about 2 weeks ago in the lounge bar near your apartment. That day had been stressful and you decided to go out to unwind and maybe meet someone new. Unfortunately, the moment you had arrived in the bar, your body decided to get cold feet, as usual. So you sat at the bar and began ordering drinks, keeping to yourself.

You had only been two drinks in when a man had approached you–Bruno. He had a disguise on, but you hadn’t known that at the time. The way he approached you was kind of strange, but you weren’t complaining. In fact, you were grateful since you were planning to stay in the same bar seat the whole night. 

He tried to flirt with you, but you totally failed at properly reciprocating. However, he still smiled and looked at you for a couple of seconds. “I think I can make this work.” 

After uttering that strange and somewhat curious statement, he left. You simply shrugged it off and continued to drink to help get over your disappointment.

You were sure you wouldn’t see that same man again, but later the next day he showed up in your room! Wig gone and with intricate, lacy looking wings, he looked like something otherworldly and straight out of a fairy tale. 

That day you learned that he wasn’t actually a man but a fairy, a love fairy to be more specific. He told you he was there to help you seduce as many people as possible and get into their beds as quickly as possible.

It was a strange experience, to say the least, and you were honestly still trying to completely process it.

You focus on the message on your phone, back in the present.

Bruno chuckles in that stupid attractive way that makes you feel kind of giddy. He flitters his wings before moving away from you. “Okay, let me help then.”

He snaps his fingers and you start levitating about a foot off the bed. 

“B-Bruno?”

The man doesn’t reply as he positions himself in the spot you were sitting. Once he’s settled, you float down and land on his lap.

You wiggle a bit on top of him. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you, amore.” He gently pulls you against him. “Now let’s start over.” He deletes everything you typed so far.

“I’m not going to just do this for you outright, but I’ll try to push you in the right direction. I still want you to learn.”

You groan. It really felt like you were being tutored at times.

“This person doesn’t know how to be subtle. What would be the best approach for someone like this?”

You think for a second. “Uh…to be straightforward too?”

“No. Well not yet. Try teasing them first, it’s more fun that way.” As he finishes that thought, he smiles mischievously and begins dragging the fingers of one of his hands along your side, giving you goosebumps.

You gulp and try to ignore the fairy’s caresses and type something simple. “Is this okay?”

“Oh? What exactly do you mean by that winky face,” Bruno reads.

You feel embarrassed hearing it out loud .

“That’s cute, but it could be better.”

You pout, something you were doing a lot ever since Bruno appeared in your life. “This is too hard Bruno.”

Bruno was still touching you. It was a nice feeling but distracting. “It might seem like that at first, but you need to keep going.”

You try again and type ‘oh ur going to give it to me? how exactly?’

Bruno hums approvingly. “Good. How would my cute human like it?”

You blink. “…I guess slowly?”

He places his chin on your shoulder, looking pleased. “I’ll be sure to remember that.”

You stare at your phone screen so you wouldn’t have to make eye contact. You could feel your heartbeat picking up in your chest and you knew he could feel it too. 

Bruno tended to act like this when he got a bit too excited but today he didn’t seem to be trying very hard to hold back.

Your phone vibrates in your hand. “Bruno you’re supposed to be helping me,” you complain.

“I am amore. I’m just taking a more direct approach.” He looks at the reply you had gotten on your phone screen.

as fast as you want it ;p

“So they like it when you lead. Tell them exactly what you want…Maybe throw a pet name in there too.”

You did as he said and, when he gives you the okay, hit send. Bruno was really good at his job when he wasn’t messing with you. All this was second nature to him.

His lips brush lightly against your ear. “Do you like it when I call you pet names amore?”

Before you could reply, your phone vibrates again. That was quick. You raise your eyebrows as you read the extremely explicit message. “Holy shit.”

“They’re probably gonna start wanting pictures soon so we might as well beat them to the punch. But I’m assuming you’ve never sent nudes.” He paused for a moment. “I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re 100% sure.”

“I want to,” you say.

“Okay, you should keep it a little tasteful. It’ll definitely drive this person crazy.” Bruno starts fiddling with your bra before unhooking it. “Take this off.”

With some awkward movements, you remove your bra from under your shirt and toss it to the side.

Bruno goes back to caressing your sides before moving his hands onto your chest. He softly drags his fingertips across your hardening nipples.

You close your eyes and completely relax against him. You hated when he teased you like this but it felt good.

“Don’t get too relaxed. You still need to send a picture.”

Slightly frowning, you open your camera app. Your texting partner won’t be able to see Bruno so you don’t bother moving from your comfortable spot.

You snap a photo of yourself, your nipples pushing against the thin fabric of your shirt.

You type a short message.

“You’re quickly improving,” Bruno said.

You take that as an okay to send. 

Bruno presses a kiss on your neck and you shiver when you feel him lick a stripe up your neck.

Bruno purrs. “You taste fantastic.”

He places his hands near your inner thighs. “I bet you taste even better here.” He hand moves towards your warm center and you spread your legs wider for him.

Your phone vibrates but you really couldn’t find it in yourself to check.

Bruno nips at your ear. “What do you think you’re doing? Don’t keep any of your targets waiting.”

You reluctantly look at your phone. You had received a lewd photo. Definitely, much more revealing than yours. “W-What do I do now?”

“What do you think of the picture they sent?”

You decide to be straightforward. “Well, they have a nice body and it makes me feel excited.”

“Reply with something similar to that,” Bruno says.

After you send the reply, Bruno suggests you remove your bottoms and helps you pull them off.

The moment you’re back in his lap his hands are back on you. Bruno massages you through your blue panties. You push your hips insistently against his hand.

“You should send a photo of yourself like this,” Bruno tells you.

You purse your lips. This was beginning to frustrate you, but you hurry and take a photo of yourself, making sure to angle the phone to mainly focus on your lower half.

A wet spot was beginning to form on the blue cloth.

You type i hope blues ur favorite color ;) and send.

Bruno laughs at your message. “Are you sure you haven’t sexted before?” He pushes his hands past the elastic band of your underwear.

He brushes his fingers against your slit before spreading you open and teasing your wet entrance.

Your entrance clenches, begging for more friction and heat.

You turn your head towards Bruno’s face, desperation in your eyes “Please, more.”

“What exactly do you want more of? I’m just helping you with your sexts.”

If you could think more clearly you would yell at him. But apparently, Bruno was feeling generous today and moved his fingers to your swollen and sensitive clit and begins rubbing.

“I like how little it takes to get you like this,” he says huskily into your ear.

You moan in reply.

He stops his movement and slowly pushes a finger into your entrance. His other hand cups your breast and begins kneading. 

He kisses your cheek and you turn your head towards his. He presses his soft lips against yours and you immediately let him push his tongue pass your lips. You could feel him grinding his hips against your ass.

He slips another finger in and begins to thrust into you faster. The sound of him pushing against your wet walls filling your quiet room.

Soon enough you begin repeatedly tighten against Bruno’s slender fingers–the warm feeling in your lower stomach beginning to overwhelm you–and pull away to catch your breath. 

Your back pushes against his firm chest. “C-Close, don’t stop.”

“Where are your manners tesoro?.” He sounded a bit out of breath himself.

“Pl…Please Bruno”, you say before he could edge you.

“That’s better.” Bruno’s other hand begins rubbing against your clit and with a couple more thrusts of his fingers your body tenses, toes curl, and you moan as your climax washes over you.

Bruno’s fingers continue to work you through your orgasm, thrusting in and out of your throbbing pussy.

As you come down, you try to slow your breathing.

After a while, Bruno breaks the silence. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that…I got carried away. You need to answer your messages.”

You couldn’t care less about that right now.

And yea you might have just came, but you were already ready to keep going and you needed–wanted to be closer with this satyromaniac.

You turn towards him on all fours. Your hand moves up his thigh nearing the obvious bulge that had been pressing against you.

Bruno softly grabs your wrist “Sorry y/n but you haven’t earned this yet.” His face seemed like he was internally struggling.

He gives you a peck on the lips before moving from off the bed. He looks at his watch. “And there’s some business I need to attend to. You should answer those messages.”

With a final “Stay sexy and keep it classy” he was gone.

You stare at the now empty space. “You bastard!”

Keep it classy your ass! Crossing your arms, you fall back into your bed. 

You look at the multiple messages you had not been paying attention to.

i wish i was there with you

can i come over right now??

…hello?

Oops. Well, you’d make sure to make it up to them later.

You sigh.

That fairy really blue balled himself.

[winters-tales]

On “Death of the Author”, and Ending Comparisons

This has been weighing on my mind a lot, and as a writer it would be remiss of me to not offer my own views on things that have been happening with a certain literary author lately.

Death of the Author is a widely-known literary concept that has since been applied to just about all art forms. In Roland Barthes’ essay where the phrase was first coined, he puts forward that:

“ […] an author's intentions and biographical facts (the author's politics, religion, etc) should hold no special weight in determining an interpretation of their writing.”

In short, an author may have terrible views, but the work should be interpreted on its own merit, outright ignoring those background details.

Lovecraft is the most commonly referenced author when this theory is brought up; it’s common knowledge the man was racist by today’s standards, but it’s less common knowledge that even by the standards of his own time he was considered a bit too much. He had a black cat and called it a horrifying slur for its name (it’s the one that starts with N – feel free to look that one up, because I won’t write it here), and his outright racist and xenophobic views are interwoven and even central to a lot of his stories.

People point at Lovecraft as a good example of Death of the Author. Many people know he was racist, know he was deeply unpleasant, and still enjoy his works. His particular brand of cosmic horror has influenced many of today’s horror writer’s, with Stephen King saying:

“Now that time has given us some perspective on his work, I think it is beyond doubt that H. P. Lovecraft has yet to be surpassed as the Twentieth Century's greatest practitioner of the classic horror tale.”

High praise indeed.

He gets a lot of praise from white authors, and a lot of white authors urge readers to keep Death of the Author in mind when reading. I wonder how many readers of colour, specifically black readers, are able to apply this when reading his works? Death of the Author is easy to accomplish if you aren’t a target of the author’s ill will.

In much the same way, a certain author who rose to fame in the last 20 years has gradually (and very publicly) revealed herself as a truly ugly personality. Her books have increasingly come under serious and necessary scrutiny, as have her public views, and the picture they paint is one of deep disappointment for fans who have been there from the beginning. Fans who are queer, who are transgender, who are Asian, who are Jewish, and more besides – all have seen nothing but negative stereotypes in the books, and real-life vitriol from the author herself.

A series of books about living true to yourself, not letting the circumstances of your birth or your blood dictate who you are; a series that gave many abused children hope, is now an awful reminder that anyone can abuse you, even the people you’d thought were there to save you.

And this is where, we’d hope, Death of the Author comes in again – divorce the writer from her works and enjoy them on their own merits. Yes, her writings, like those of Lovecraft, are full of blatant displays of her personal views, but we can still ignore her, can’t we? We can still sit and read the books for what they are, maybe pretend they sprang into the world fully-formed with no mortal hand behind them?

No. Unfortunately, I can’t.

And this is where the comparison to Lovecraft must end. Lovecraft was practically an unknown in his time, with his works being sent to a close circle of friends, and published mainly in pulp magazines, never getting that big break to be able to make a living from his work. In life, he was so reclusive and his views so utterly vile that his ideologies were never influential. He died alone and in poverty at the age of 46, having no idea how influential his works would be on future horror literature.

Today’s author is widely known. She has a large, public platform from which she can make her views heard across the world. It is easy for her to find like-minded individuals with which to affirm her beliefs, and easy for her to find unsure people to indoctrinate (and make no mistake, that’s what it is).

Today’s author is so influential she has been quoted in political debates, something Lovecraft could never have dreamed.

When the author is still alive and has access to hundreds of thousands of minds who are willing to encourage and amplify her abhorrent views, you cannot simply ignore her. You cannot “kill” her and take her works and never think of her again. 

Lovecraft influenced a genre of literature, and artists from all walks of life are still taking inspiration from - and finding new takes on - his particular brand of cosmic horror. I for one am looking forwards to seeing what Jordan Peele can do with it – a black man using such a racist figures works in this way? Lovecraft is spinning in his grave at the concept, and that thought is a comforting one.

Today’s author has influenced nothing but hatred – even the fictional world she built is nothing new or ground breaking. I see personal takes on her world all the time, fans breathing headcanons into life where characters become teachers instead of policemen, where the world is rewritten to include all and exclude none but her and her ilk. I love those headcanons more than I liked the original work, but they are few and far between and getting quieter as she gets louder. People are divorcing themselves from their hobbies just to escape her.

What is the answer? How do we get Death of the Author to work when she is very much alive and shows no sign of stopping her campaigns of hatred? Deplatforming only works if the platforms she uses are willing to do what is necessary, and we’ve already seen that Twitter – from where she regularly holds court - isn’t willing to do that.

Death of the Author is, itself, a flawed concept, since it isn’t possible to create art that doesn’t reflect even a small piece of yourself. Lovecraft was racist, Hemingway was a misogynist, Sir Terry Pratchett was righteously angry about the state of society – these all shine through in their work. And today’s author is a TERF, one who is impossible to ignore no matter how hard you try.

How do we move forward with Death of the Author when she refuses to relinquish control?

I don’t have an answer except to hold myself to a higher standard than her. To promise myself that any work I do gets seen by sensitivity readers, to make sure that the reflection of myself that goes into my work is the reflection of myself I want to be remembered for.

Perhaps in this age of technology, where the author refuses to let us forget her, Death of the Author can only come about with the author’s death. Maybe then we can start healing from the damage she’s done.

---

*TERF: Trans-exclusionary radical feminist; a subset of so-called “feminists” who do not believe trans people exist or should have the same rights as cis people.

[millennialzadr]

Regarding the ZADR issue

Hey guys, so about the whole zim being an adult issue, I wanted to share my thoughts really quick. At first I wasn’t going to since I basically just got here and I only enjoy shipping adult zim with adult dib anyway, but I have technically been part of the fandom since I was a kid, and it’s very saddening to see how distraught some people are right now, so I’m hoping maybe my take can help ease some worries.

I talked with a friend about it so here’s what I said to them:

“i’m honestly a little shocked from some of the reactions i’ve been seeing bc like.... this isn’t the first time jhonen has said zim isn’t a kid, he said so in the commentary for the show, this isn’t new news

like guys, we been knew zim wasn’t a kid. even then its basically exactly like making an anime loli a 1000+ year old demon like for characters, demeanor and appearance says way more about age than factual age, and like ???? for adult fans of the show we already only ship adult ZADR, and for KID fans of the show, whats wrong with kids enjoying a kid ship????? like you’re really gonna slap a comfort ship out of the hands of a 13 yr old bc the nonhuman character that goes to school and hangs with kids and looks and acts like a kid isn’t technically a kid? its a cartoon fam like chill, the vast majority of fans that ship underage zadr are underage themselves, not p*dos fjkghfgjkgfjkhkj

like i get it man so many people are hurt by p*dophilia and the perpetualism and normalization of p*dophilia in media but kids wanting cartoon characters to kiss each other isn’t where these issues are stemming from 

i wish things could be more black and white instead of endless speculation and arguing but society is not simple, and i UNDERSTAND their upset i REALLY do, the angry ones have every right to be angry, i just wish they didn’t attack other fans who have no ill intentions dfjgjhg they’re not the enemy!! but i do see these massive types of fights sort of like growing pains while we as humans learn and educate each other about ethics and the extremely convoluted ways that ethics are compromised, people being so anti p*do is still such a better sign than people (and kids!!) thinking things like actual extreme age gaps in romance media is acceptable and desirable

the premise of the show itself is terribly silly!!! and in no way based on fact or any relevant logic!! the whole show is a joke the lore is a joke its all a big ball of gags!!!!”

I know this a little all over the place but my point is this: the whole issue is a terribly slippery slope, made a hundred times more complicated by the fact that cartoon logic does not translate easily to real life logic, and while I think acknowledging and discussing it is a good thing, I do not think that underage fans continuing to ship zim and dib as they are depicted in the show is wrong, and I do not think that these fans need to tear themselves up and doubt themselves and feel that they’re terrible for liking a ship that they had no idea included a quote on quote “adult” character.

nobody is required to enjoy anything they don’t wish to enjoy and everyone is allowed to form and stand by their opinion. constructive speculation and challenging ideas is GOOD, but making people, especially kids, feel like shit about themselves in regards to these topics is not okay! attacking others is not okay!! if you want to change someone’s mind, you can be angry and still be civil, and if you can’t change their mind, block them! if you hate and are made uncomfortable by specific content, blacklist it! sending hate messages is never the answer and only spreads conflict, it does not solve anything.

underage fans in any fandom only have the responsibility of taking care of themselves, being safe, and being kind to each other. this issue should not fall on them to analyze. ADULT fans in any fandom are the ones responsible for being aware and sensitive to current issues, and it is our job to make sure we distribute content that is not harmful, keep adult content confined to adult spaces, and speak out against other adults who are behaving dangerously. OUR JOB. NOT THEIRS. adults who enjoy and are comforted by the show enjoy wholesome and canonical content of the canon characters, and relate to and ship adult versions of the characters. if adult fans are shipping and sexualizing the canon characters in the first place, that’s an actual red flag. if underage fans are shipping and sexualizing the canon characters, they’re relating to them, and there’s nothing wrong with kids wishing to explore romance with other kids and kid media. zim does not read as an adult. anyone who watched the show with no further knowledge of the lore believes zim is a kid. there is a clear line within the show between adult characters and kid characters. slapping an age on a character doesn’t make them read as that age, and suddenly learning that a character is a vastly different age than what you thought they were doesn’t necessarily change how you feel about them. spongebob is a grown adult with a house and a job. would you date him??? would you date spongebob squarepants??? HUH? I DIDN’T THINK SO. don’t make kids fucking hate themselves because they’re attached to a cartoon character. fuck.

and for those who feel discouraged and targeted by Jhonen himself, don’t be. Jhonen has said some things and had some attitude problems towards fans in the past, but the instance that slighted ship fans in particular was over six years ago, and we should keep in mind that Jhonen was having problems with fans overstepping his boundaries and asking him questions like ‘how does it feel knowing thousands of fangirls would love to tie you down and r*pe you.’ I’m hoping that with the magic of communication through the modern internet he’s changed some of his opinions, but I do not think that he had any ill intent releasing this tweet, I believe he was simply interacting with the fans and sharing a fun fact. and if support from the creators comforts you, please remember that the voice cast, particularly Richard Horvitz and Andy Berman (voices of zim and dib), have absolutely no problem with fans enjoying zadr, and have done things like make zim and dib puppets smooch each other and say ‘I love you zim!’ in dib’s voice, all to make the fans happy. I highly recommend watching the live script reading of mopiness of doom and listening to the nickelodeon podcast that interviews Richard, Rikki and Melissa (zim, gir and gaz). in the podcast they talk about how much it means to them that fans are so touched by the show and is incredibly uplifting and heart warming.

so that’s all guys. bottom line, be kind to each other, decide for yourself how you feel, and don’t worry too much, especially if you’re a teen, you’re still growing and learning and I’m so proud of you for wanting to do the right thing. to my fellow adults, lets keep making wholesome content, keep protecting the kids, and keep being good examples of human beings.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go!  Spoiler-free again.  I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon?  Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed.  Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post).  Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next:  Any bonuses?  Oh, none!  Phew.  Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often.  :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right.  :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me?  Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings?  As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew.  Bracing myself.  That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along?  Or leave her back there with her meta freakout?  Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas.  (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing.  Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great.  I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not.  That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade.  Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick??  I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands.  Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip??  Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness.  Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice.  And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress.  Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings?  I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes.  PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too.  (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock.  Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design.  --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh.  Cool!

Hero outfit, understated...  her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases.  Works well!  (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough.  Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys.  I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this.  (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes.  Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here???  No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7.  That’s fucking disappointing.  How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads?  She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2.  Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected.  This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew.  It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk.  --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood.  Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright.  You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed.  :(

> ==>

...okay you know what?  Never mind.  That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much?  We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn.  :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity?  That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks?  Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips?  And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK.  You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave.  Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something.  Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!??  Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE???  FUCK you.  Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I.  There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm.  Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”.  I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right?  She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop.  I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering?  Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah.  A little worse than my casual list, huh?  Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all.  Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

:(

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C.  :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though.  I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation.  Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

:(

--Oh right.  I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you.  That’s good to remember.  But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years.  :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT.  I should have read one line further.  They DID bring her.  Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her.  ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of.  And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding.  Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard.  Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8!  Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected.  Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.