#i feel that a lot of christians want to be eternally happy and that's what they believe salvation will be like

[ghuleh-witch]

And We Are Tied As One Eternally-V

Fandom: Ghost Rating: Explicit Warnings: (For Future Chapters) NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, p in v sex, oral sex, mentions of past abuse and domestic violence, references to suicide (For This Chapter) brief mentions of 9/11, war, death, school shootings, and religious manipulation Relationships: Papa Emeritus IV/Copia x OFC Additional Tags: soft!dom Copia, eventual smut, developing relationship, kind of a slow burn, no beta reader Chapter Word Count: 2116 Summary: Ellie Moran just wanted to make a new life for herself. Running to escape the people in her past, she ends up in a small town in the middle of nowhere that happens to be home to a Satanic church. She never expected her life to change again after she started attending the public masses at said church.

Ao3

Chapters: 5/? Previous Chapters

Tag list: @sodoswitchimage

Her laugh was the most musical thing he’d ever heard, and Copia would die happy if it was the last thing he would ever hear again. He sat on the edge of his bed as Ellie sat cross-legged on the floor, his rats crawling over her knees and onto her shoulders. She giggled and cooed at them, gently petting their soft fur with her fingers. Copia felt fluttering in his stomach as she watched Ellie’s face scrunch as Meatball sniffed her ear. 

“That tickles,” she said as she gently lifted Meatball from her shoulder and to her knee. She gave him a loving pat before fishing her phone out of her pocket and checking the time. “I can’t stay for long. I have work this afternoon.”

“What do you do for work?” Copia asked. 

“I work at the little bookstore in town—stocking, running the register, stuff like that,” Ellie answered. 

“Do you like it?”

“It’s one of the better jobs I’ve had. I don’t mind it at all. My one supervisor is an asshole but it pays my bills so I can’t complain too much,” Ellie said with a shrug. 

“Asshole? What makes them an asshole?” Copia asked curiously, ready to go to bat for her.

“Oh, he’s a religious guy. Reminds me of all the people I grew up around.”

“That’s right, you said you were an evangelical baptist,” Copia said, remembering what she told him the first time they met. “Not that it’s any of my business, but what led you astray from your church?” He saw her go still for a moment as the rats crawled over her shoulders. She was considering her words, he noted and it made him even more curious

“Just a lot of things,” she said with a shrug. “The older I got the more I questioned things and the less that made sense. I didn’t particularly appreciate how controlling they were for one. I couldn’t read certain books or watch certain movies because they were considered evil. I wasn’t allowed to wear certain types of clothes. I was told my place in the world was to be a wife and a mother and pop out as many kids as possible to serve God.” She sighed. “I think the thing that started to make me pull away was being told at thirteen years old that I needed to martyr myself for Jesus in case someone came to shoot up my school.” 

Copia felt sick at that. For a child to hear such vile... “That’s disgusting. How dare they tell children that?” He seethed. Anger flooded him the more he thought about it. “And these are the people who claim to protect the innocent. I can’t stand people like that.”

“Me neither, but when you’re at that age and have nowhere else to go you just sort of pretend to be like them to survive,” Ellie said softly. “At least that’s what I did. I don’t think I’ve believed in God since I was fourteen or fifteen, but I played the part of a good Christian girl until I could get away.” 

“You do what you got to in order to survive, even if it does mean, eh, what do the kids say? Faking it until you make it,” Copia said as he nodded in agreement. “The Olde One understands this.” 

“Leaves you with a lot of issues though,” Ellie said with a laugh, her eyes glancing down at her left arm. The glance didn’t go unnoticed by him though. He had a feeling what lay under her sleeve, but he wouldn’t push or bring it up. That was her story to tell whenever she was comfortable and ready. “But I’m working through them. Slowly.”

“Life isn’t a race,” Copia said, leaning over to allow Alfredo to crawl up his arm. “You work at things at your own pace, si ?”

Ellie nodded and then laughed as Meatball tried to crawl down her shirt, and for a moment Copia thought the room got even warmer than it already was. “No, friend, you can’t go down there,” she said as she gently sat Meatball back on her knee. She looked over to Copia. “Thanks again for letting me play with them. I miss having animals in my life.”

“It’s not a problem. Anytime you want to visit them let me know. You do not have any pets?” Copia asked. 

“No,” Ellie said. “I was moving around a lot…you know looking for that change I wanted to make and I didn’t think it would be fair to put that stress on a cat or a dog or any other animal. When I was a kid I used to have a dog. Her name was Misty. She was this really pretty golden retriever. I loved her so much. She was my best friend. After my dad died, my mother got rid of her.”

“Oh, cara, I’m so sorry,” Copia said. “About your father and your dog.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. My dad was in the military. Got sent to war after 9/11, and died in Afghanistan. My mother wasn’t the same after that. She got rid of everything that reminded her of him, and he was the one that got me Misty. I’m pretty sure my mother would have got rid of me if she could.”

He could see the pain in her eyes and it broke his heart. He wanted to hold her and comfort her but settled for placing a hand on her knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry to hear that, cara . People grieve in different ways, but that wasn’t fair for your mother to take away something you loved because she couldn’t properly channel that grief.” 

Her hand came to rest over his for a brief moment and for a second Copia thought he felt a tingle of electricity surge through him. “Thanks,” she said softly. “I miss that dog every day. I know she’s probably gone by now. She was three years old when I was ten so she’d be over twenty years old now if she was still alive.” Ellie glanced down at their hands and slowly pulled hers away. Copia did the same, already missing the warmth it brought him. “But maybe one day I’ll get myself another dog.”

“Of course,” Copia said. “But in the meantime, my rats can be your furry friends.”

Ellie grinned. “Thanks.” She dug her phone out of her pocket again and frowned. “I should get going. I gotta get home and get ready for work.”

“Oh, of course. Let’s get the babies back in their home and I’ll walk you out.” 

They got the rats back in their cage and Ellie promised she’d back to visit them. It made his heart race knowing she’d be coming back to his room to see his rats. They were silent as he walked her out of the house and to the lot her car was parked in. “I’ll see you for mass?” He asked as she unlocked her car door.

Ellie nodded. “I’ll be here. I might be back before then though. Gemma said she had some study guides for me to look over.”

Copia nodded. “Well, if you need anything…”

“I’ll let you know,” Ellie finished for him with a smile. “Thanks again, for everything.”

“No problem,” Copia said. “No problem at all. I’ll see you soon.” He watched as she got into her car and started the engine. She gave him a little wave before backing up and making her way down the drive. He watched as her car disappeared before heading back to the house.

“Someone’s becoming smitten,” came a voice from the kitchen once he was back inside.

Copia turned to see Secondo making himself a cup of tea.

“I’m not-” Copia began before Secondo held up a hand to stop him.

“You are,” Secondo said. “Don’t deny it. Why should you? She’s pretty, and from talking to her today in the group session, she seems very intelligent and loyal.”

“Because I barely know her,” Copia argued.

“Since when has that stopped you? How many people have you had in your bed that you actually knew?”

“But I’m old enough to be her father.”

“And?”

“She doesn’t want me.”

“You’re blind, fratello,” Secondo sighed. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you during mass, and just now when you were walking her to her car. She’s smitten too whether she knows it or not. You’re making excuses.”

Copia sighed and sat down at the small table. “Maybe you’re right.”

Secondo huffed and smirked. “I know I’m right. So what are you going to do about it.”

“I don’t fucking know,” Copia said. “I don’t want to scare her off.”

“Invite her to the Samhain ball.” 

“She was already invited.”

“As your date, idiota .” 

Copia blinked. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you aren’t thinking,” Secondo said rolling his eyes. “Next time you see her, ask her. Say it’s just a casual thing or something. She’ll say yes.”

Copia nodded. “Okay…okay I will.”

“Good. And for the record, I think you two would be a good fit.” Secondo finished steeping his tea and walking out of the kitchen.

Copia sat the table thinking it all over. “The worst she can say is no,” he told himself before he made his way up to his bedroom. 

XXX

Ellie stared at the clock. Even though she was working a four-hour shift, it felt like she had already been there for a full day. Two hours to go, she thought as she went back to organizing books on the ‘New releases’ table. She thought back on her visit with Copia. She ended up telling him a lot more than she intended, but Ellie couldn’t help it. She felt so comfortable with him that she didn’t mind being vulnerable.

When the bell above the door jingled, Ellie was pulled from her thoughts. She turned to see an older woman walk in with a stack of flyers in her hand.

“Excuse me, dear, could I leave you a flyer to put in your window? It’s for an event at St. Gertrude’s,” the woman said, holding out a piece of paper to Ellie.

“Oh, we’re not allowed to-” Ellie began before being cut off by her supervisor who appeared behind her.

“Of course, Helen,” Charles said beaming. He took the flyer and looked it over. “This town needs the church more than ever.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Helen said smiling. “Ever since those devil worshippers moved into the old abbey this town has gone downhill.”

Ellie stilled, biting her tongue to stop herself from saying something that would get her fired.

“The worst thing that’s happened to this place,” Charles agreed. “I see those freaks all the time walking around town putting up their flyers. They’ve come in here a couple of times to leave flyers. I always shred them. I’ll post this in the window and let people know about the event when they come in.” 

Helen nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Charles. I’m going to continue passing out flyers. I’ll see you at mass.”

“See you there,” Charles said before Helen left. He handed Ellie the flyer. “Put this up in the window.”

“I thought we weren’t allowed to display non-store related flyers,” Ellie said taking the flyer from him.

“No one’s going to care about a church flyer,” Charles said.

“Then why don’t you display the flyers for the Ministry of Ghost?” Ellie challenged. “Why display one religious organization and not the other? Doesn’t seem fair.”

“Because they’re not a religion. They’re a cult of evil,” Charles sneered. “You kids these days…”

“I’m 30 years old. I’m not a kid,” Ellie said. “And I’m only pointing out how hypocritical the situation is and how it’s against company policy to display non-store related flyers in the windows.”

Charles huffed and grabbed the flyer out of Ellie’s hand.

“I’ll do it then,” he said before striding over to the window. 

As Charles went to get some tape from behind the register, Ellie noticed someone standing across the street from the store. She blinked and froze. The setting sun made the street outside dim and made details hard to make out, but she recognized the man staring back at her. Ellie closed her eyes for a second and breathed. In and out. In and out. When she opened her eyes again, the man was gone.

I’m going crazy, she thought as she looked out the window and up and down the street. No one was there.

He’s not here, she told herself. You’re just seeing things. It’s okay. You’re safe. 

Post Chapter A/N I hope everyone got to see Rite Here Rite Now. Seeing it has affected the outcome of this fic, so stay tuned! Follow me on twitter :) -ghulehwitch

[fearforthestorm]

i'm having a weird day and a lot of weird feelings about church stuff (read: being raised mormon and leaving and watching everyone I care about stay) so i'm gonna talk about it a little bit under the cut ↓

i'm in my 20s. my immediate younger sister (who was probably the one I was the closest to) turns 19 in september. she's leaving for her mission at the end of october. one of her friends, who was one of my closest friends at church because the two of us were the only queer people in young womens, had her farewell talk last sunday and is having an open house tonight before she leaves.

it's going to be a year and a half before I see my friend again and I'm scared to death that the person who comes back won't be the same person I cared about. I'm scared that the person she is after that and the person I'll be after that won't have anything to share anymore. and it's even more terrifying to think about that with my sister. there's already so much distance between us but I love her and I want her to have a place in my life no matter what our differences are. I just don't know if I can pretend hard enough for it to bridge that distance.

I don't think I'm ever going to be the kind of exmo who tries to send people "proof" that their church is false and evil. that's cruel, and it provably doesn't work, and quite honestly, leaving the church hurts really bad and I don't want the people I care about to have go through the utter fucking devastation and loss that is a faithbreak. but staying doesn't hurt less. staying means continuing to comply with and believe in cruel and bigoted values and contribute to a culture of sameness. staying means denying queer people and people of color and disabled people the right to exist without assimilation, denying the validity of cultures and traditions that dare to exist outside of the white christian american way of life.

it's scary. it's scary and painful and I know I have said before that the only thing harder than leaving is watching the people who you love stay. you can't drag them out and you can't go back. you just have to pretend hard enough to bridge the gap until it stretches too far. and either you lose them or they lose everything. there is no win condition. there is no happy ending. no eternal glory, no taking back the hurt and the anger and the grief. i wish to god (the god I don't believe in, the god whose name is pencilled across everything broken in my life) that there was.

[myrtles-and-blood]

✶ 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝐿𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑟 ✶

Little offering for him 🫶🏻

⚠️ Extremely corny stuff ahead ⚠️

I was clearing some stuff on my YouTube playlists and I found this song again (See the end of the post). I remember listening to it quite a lot when I was a bit younger, I think this is where my fascination towards Lucifer started. Of course, I cried a little.

He has always been near me. When I first called him to talk, he was a scary and heavy energy, but it felt known. It may sound ironic, but he felt the same way as when I entered a church. The sensation of being observed by a much higher being, making sure I was protected.

I wanted to ask him a couple things just now, and I confirmed my theory, apparently. I have him just by my side writing this, so this goes for you Lord Lucifer 🫡 He told me to pull my cards, and the first thing thay came out was The Star. While I worship him, of course, seeing that he is actually listening and talking to me still surprises me so much.

He gave me really positive cards. I'm writing what I think he's telling me right now, so here it goes. I'm trying to get better at clairaudience and this is UPG, so keep that in mind:

Lucifer: I've been here for a long time with you, if that's what you're asking. I was at your communion, and at your baptism. I was there every Sunday, and I am the one you feel watching you when entering a church. I didn't hate the idea of you becoming a Christian, but I knew the way you were being raised wasn't the one you'd choose. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. When you called me that first time, I remember well, I wanted to make a good impression. I didn't think the first time you'd do it would be by writing a story, but now that I think about it, it is so much like you. I thought that was it at first, but then you called me that second time, begging me to work with you because you liked me so much, even not knowing where to start. I was excited, you know. But I wanted to test to what extent you were willing to go, regarding your journey. You were gonna start either way, I feel, but I didn't know when. It's been 6 months so far, I am very happy for you, know that. You have never been a normal child, in my eyes you were certainly special. You talked so much before, but now you've grown up and your precious voice has been hidden for some time. I'm hoping that, with me, I can get you to talk as freely as when you were 5. I want to get you to write all your stories, all your ideas and your thoughts. I want them to be physical, so you can see how much you've worked on them. I want to fill your head with knowledge, to answer all your questions. I will understand if you, at some point, want to stop our relationship. But remember that I will be with you, with my hands on your shoulders, every time you feel scared, sad or lost. My arms will always be open to hug you, and my ears will always be waiting for your call. Remember that.

Well now I'm crying and it's all his fault. This is just what I, subconsciously, thought he was trying to tell me. It's complicated to explain but yeah. I can't be more grateful for him.

As a kid this song hit the right spot. I never knew what was so wrong with Lucifer for him to be cast out of heaven. I never understood the logic behind wanting to dethrone God. Like, why? Out of pure evil? An angel created by God became, randomly, pure evil? Maybe it's the way it was explained to me, I don't know.

I really liked all his stories. Different versions of it, talking about why he could have done it, what happened after the fall, what happened before, even. Alexandre Cabanel has one of my favourite depictions of him, it's one of the best known, if not the most popular out of all. But how could I not love it? I mean, look at him. I could spend an eternity looking at that painting.

This post has the only function of me fangirling over Lord Lucifer I hope y'all enjoyed it. I don't like getting this corny in public so 👍🏻

[sincerely-sofie]

One thing I will say is that saying you "disagree with the term queer" Is Not A Great Look, but that could easily be a me not getting the wording as intended thing - The above assumes you mean just, queer in general though it feels more like you might've meant in reference to yourself? (Which is entirely fine - I'm of the opinion that any given label should be opt-in to anyone who's genuine about it rather than mandatory.)

Really, the main important thing I appreciate is being able to accept others where they're at. Being able to just say "Yeah, sure, ok" and go along even if I don't personally understand is honestly one of my core beliefs* too, and with minimal disrespect it's nice seeing this from a Christian. The little I actually know suggests something worth looking into, and the notion of an eternal soul is something I find fairly agreeable (if not strictly the outcomes of that.) Then again, I'm someone whose personal experience with religion can be described as a tangled web of jokes that ran too long and accidentally became character traits, so, maybe not the best judge of anything here. Also, wow, this post got away from me quickly. Originally meant to just put in the first paragraph and call it good.

*I draw a hard line the second that personal belief starts meaning harm to others. Believe what you want about yourself, but anyone saying someone else needs to change their ways (bar the very beliefs this targets, primarily meaning bigotry/racists) because of a thing YOU feel a certain way about simply can't be tolerated.

Thanks for the critique! Looking back, I definitely should have written “disagree with the term queer FOR myself” (which was actually the original wording I drafted) rather than “disagree with the term queer myself”. I was trying to cut down on my wordiness as I edited my response, but I ended up just making it a confusing sentence to read. Curse my proofreading anxiety. 

I'll try not to get into it too much here because it'd probably derail this entire response to your ask, but I've got a lot of mixed feelings with most labels, especially ones that were formerly derogatory terms. My church has worked hard to pivot from being called “Mormons” because among other (honestly more important) reasons, the term was basically used as a snide and condescending way to refer to my church, and it quickly became the default phrase for addressing us. The fact that members of my faith were basically referring to themselves with an insult as I grew up in the church never really sat well with me, even if we took pride in it. I'm super impressed by those who can take once-painful words and make them into badges of honor, but for me personally, it's a real emotional minefield. Hence, in part, why I don't agree with using the term queer for myself. It's a matter of preference and personal implications.

Agh, I really rambled on for a while there. I hope that made sense.  

For your second paragraph— it's sad to me that so many people have had such disheartening experiences with Christians. I swear, most of us are loving people. There's just an unfortunate amount of very vocal bible-bashers who forget that God's greatest instructions to us were to love Him and love others. 

If you're interested, there's a lot of resources on my church’s website if you'd like to learn more about what we believe (though there's no pressure from me to read up on it!) I just felt like I should share because we don't believe in a Hell where people burn for all eternity. 

We believe in three different “kingdoms” that everyone will be sorted into, with interaction between them being possible so families and friends can visit each other if they end up divided. The least glorious kingdom (for lack of a better term) is still an absolutely amazing place, full of light and happiness. There is a sort of Hell called Outer Darkness that I guess anyone reading about could see it as a form of eternal punishment, but people choose to go there themselves— it's a form of willing separation from God that happens when people who have an absolutely perfect knowledge of the gospel still choose to go the opposite direction. It's not somewhere you go because you drank coffee or swore in life. That'd be ridiculous.

… I opened my mouth and a missionary came out. Oops. 

Anyhoo, that last paragraph is a big deal, Anon! People need to be able to choose for themselves what they'll do in their lives— any forced change is not change at all, and the second you do harm to another person that isn't in the defense of yourself or others, you're in the wrong. As you can probably tell from my tangent above, I'm an advocate for missionary work, which could be seen as telling people they need to change their ways, but the type of missionary work I stand behind is the kind that invites people to learn more— never forces— and respects when they say no. Always honor agency is my motto. Invite, don't incite. That sort of thing. 

Thanks again for the critique! I appreciate your willingness to send it in and share your thoughts. I'll add a link to this ask in my original post so that if anyone else is confused by my wording, they'll be able to see this and get some better information. 

[gregorsamsairl]

Nietzsche and Nihilism

If there's one thing that really grinds my gears it's when people treat Nietzsche as some sort of face of nihilism. I think anyone who is well-versed in Nietzsche's work would agree that the guy is definitely not a nihilist, as he is very openly against it in almost all his works.

I believe this misunderstanding of Nietzsche's philosophy mostly comes from the averages person's understanding of worth.

When Nietzsche said, "God is dead," he was referring to the objective meaninglessness of the world. A lot of people take this at face value, understanding objective meaninglessness as absolute meaninglessness. However, this is not the point Nietzsche was trying to make at all.

In our age of enlightenment values and reason, the western man values objectivity and shuns subjectivity (If you want to read more about the negative effects of enlightenment principles, Max Horkheimer and Theodor W. Adorno's Dialectic of Enlightenment is great). This sort of "facts over feelings" mindset is exactly what led to the nihilist interpretation of Nietzsche being so common. When people read that this guy thinks that objective meaning does not exist, they can't fathom any other meaning existing, because their whole life has been built around putting objectivity on a pedestal, they cannot begin to think about finding anything of significant value through their own subjectivity.

However, this is exactly what Nietzsche is proposing in his work. Objective meaning may be gone, but that does not mean that meaning is impossible, we should instead chose what has meaning to us, based on our own subjectivity. That is what he means when he speaks of the "will to power." My personal understanding of the will to power is simply the desire to be yourself ("simply" is perhaps the wrong word, it's much more nuanced than just "being yourself" but I think it sums it up nicely).

In fact, Nietzsche's main criticism of the modern Christian church was actually that it was "necessarily nihilistic." Modern Christianity puts all its focus on the afterlife. Even if they claim to be worried about being kind and spreading the truth of God, at the end of the day they are only doing that so they can go to heaven when they die. Taking the emphasis off of this life and placing it on the afterlife is precisely what makes modern Christianity nihilistic to its very core.

A notion Nietzsche touches on briefly after his denouncement of modern christianity is that of eternal recurrence. On this, he claims that we should live our lives in such a way that we would be happy to live it over and over again for all eternity. A lot of people dislike this claim, and point out that a lot of people aren't born in circumstances in which they can be happy over and over again (ex: because of poverty, discrimination, political situations). I don't disagree with this at all, there are an incredible amount of people who have to live in situations out of their control which make them unhappy with their life. However, you have to remember that Nietzsche is much more metaphysically inclined. When he says you should live a life you would want to life over and over again, he is more talking about the person you are. You should make choices about your virtues and your morals which would make you happy about the person you are, so much so that you would want to be you over and over again, no matter your external circumstances.

I actually used to hate Nietzsche, as I had only heard of him through this sort of depressed high school boy view that twisted him into a nihilist. However, once I read him for myself, I found his message extremely inspiring, and helped me mentally a lot. The idea of being yourself no matter your circumstances is a beautiful one, and I think it's really sad that most people just view Nietzsche as the nihilism guy.

Remember to be yourself!!!! Nietzsche said so!!!!!!

For anyone who wants to read it, here's a bonus question from an exam that I took this semester where I basically said the same thing as above, but it's worded more concisely I think:

"It is often claimed that Nietzsche is a nihilist and his philosophy is nihilistic in nature. Do you agree with this claim? Indeed what is behind Nietzsche’s denying modern society, traditional values, morality, and Christianity? How would you argue?

I strongly believe that Nietzsche is not a nihilist. In his claim that there are no objective virtues, he is not negating the meaning of human life, he is stating that there are no universal values. I think a lot of the misunderstanding of this claim making Nietzsche a nihilist comes from people's view of subjective vs objective value. Objective values are not inherently more "real" than subjective ones, and I believe this is where the most common mistake is made. Nietzsche advocating for subjective virtues does not make these virtues any less significant than objective ones. Life still has meaning, but it's up to every individual to decides on those virtues for themselves. In Nietzsche's denying of society, traditional values, morality, and Christianity come from his advocation of individuality, and subjective values. He denies society, and Christianity because it values a slave mindset, and thus hatred (ressentiment) of "the other," even denouncing modern Christianity for being "necessarily nihilistic" for focusing on the afterlife rather than our current one. He denies traditional values as well as morality because they are both discussed from a universal, objective standpoint. In all four of these, he does not deny them because they give meaning to life, or because he advocates for people doing whatever they want, he denies them because they take away the existential value of the individual. Thus, I would conclude that Nietzsche is definitely not a nihilist. Life's meaning is not removed when we don't have the guiderails of the objective to tell us how to make choices. If anything, life would have a more personal, passionate meaning when the individual gets to decide for themselves what gives their life meaning."

[rayleearts]

So, like I've been a follower of your webtoon since like the beginning of the year I think (time is hard for me, sorry) and I love ur characters so much, and all the story progression.

I'm a kid who grew up personally, not really, around people who identify as part of the lgbt community. I've done research and stuff about it, since I learned about it but I'm not really comfy yet with it as much. I'm trying u know.

My friend recently came out to me, and I was like damn, idk what to do cause we'll, I'm Christian, and I'm supposed to hate them and stuff. But I couldn't, and I did not want to, u know? They're so kind and nice, and basically my closest friend, I couldn't do that to them. They're still human no matter what.

I feel like if I broaden my horizon in some books and stories, that focus on it will help me feel more comfy to it. And ur comic has helped me so much with that, and I'm grateful for this and for ur work.

Ur art and story telling is freaking aspiring to me, and I love it. Thank you for sharing ur story, and being you.

(I live in Africa where such things are considered evil and stuff, so yeah)

XoXo 😘

I grew up Christian and I’ve been where you are 💙 Took a lot of deconstructing to realize a lot of things I was taught went against my own moral values. I hated knowing I was queer, and I didn’t accept others being that way either, and now look where I’m at haha

Really came down to the point where I realized that many of my friends would be going to hell by the standards I was taught, and I realized that didn’t make sense because I know for a fact they’re good people and wouldn’t deserve an eternal punishment for a finite thing that causes no real harm. My own father believes I’ll be going to hell for being agnostic, even though I want to leave the world a better place than it was.

I’m so genuinely happy you’re inspired by my story!! These reasons are a huge reason why I write it at all 💖

[mbrainspaz]

I wasn't one of those evangelical kids who got caught up in the emotions of the camp devotionals. I never really cared about the rapture, or death in general. Much less eternal life. The reason I stuck around all the way through college was because I trusted the family and friends who taught me all the bible stuff. They always told me not to trust them, so that one's on me.

They always said, "Don't take my word for it, read the scripture! Do your own studying!" I said to myself, "yeah yeah, cool. In theory. I can't read aramaic or ancient greek though, and I don't really want to spend years in school learning that. It's much more practical to have all these people I know I can trust because they're such good people who clearly have my best interests at heart."

Then I went to a bible college. For an art degree, but they still made me take a bible class every semester. Between meeting esteemed bible scholars and historians in universities on the other side of the world who did know ancient greek aaaaaaand becoming distanced from my old communities, I finally did what they'd always told me to do: I did my own studying. I never learned much ancient greek but learning how to do academic research helped a lot.

Wouldn'tchaknowit—my findings vastly expanded my knowledge from what I'd been taught as a kid. At that point in my early 20's I didn't feel betrayed. What I thought I'd discovered were earnest mistakes! An honest lack of understanding from folks who hadn't had the privilege of traveling and studying the way I had. I was happy to bring what I'd learned back home to them, and embark on new adventures in learning together.

Only one... little... problem. Turns out none of them wanted that.

They didn't want to hear about the fascinating history of biblical mistranslations or cultural analysis of American evangelicalism and how it relates to feminism. They didn't want to learn about the history of other world religions like Buddhism and the interesting parallels with Abrahamic religions. They didn't want to believe queer people aren't explicitly condemned by scripture or that the 2000 year old book they worship might not actually contain a fail-safe blueprint for life in the 21st century. They didn't want think about how much of the bible might've been tacked on by scholars & kings who used it as a tool for social control. I still believed in god and called myself a Christian at this point, after all that. I lost my faith in the people first. I opened my eyes and saw it all. I saw too much.

Any time I tried to share what I'd learned or gently push back against their teachings their condemnation was immediate and absolute. It quickly became clear that what 'studying scripture' meant to them was only ever, "we'll tell you what it means, and you'll believe us." Any deviation from their 'interpretation'—now plainly revealed to me as patriarchal 1950's American traditionalism dressed up in middle eastern farmer's robes and doing a VBS play production of an ancient culture they knew frighteningly little about—only branded me as a disrespectful dissident. I also saw Christians I'd respected doing all manner of dishonorable things. A missionary who'd once nearly convinced me to work with him in South America sent me a horrifically islamophobic manifesto. Church elders admitted to me that they owned city slums. Outwardly perfect couples filed for divorce. Bit by bit it wore down my trust. It broke the illusion that Christianity offered any kind of exclusive merit or made anybody better somehow. I started to realize they were all just as flawed and fallible as any 'sinner' off the street. Of course they were all quick to say 'we have all fallen short of the grace of God!'—but what's the point, then? These people I'd trusted with my soul were quick to admit that they shouldn't be trusted... then turn around and insist that they still knew what was best for me and my life.

Over the next few years it got to the point that they as good as told me to my face that the only way I could keep being part of their community was if I shut up and conformed to exactly what they believed. I almost could've put up with it except that that tacitly included being good christian wife with 2.5 kids who votes republican, lives in the suburbs, and goes to Wednesday night bible study to listen to some local septuagenarian who never set foot in seminary school teach me a moral lesson from the same damn book every week.

Like hell.

It became painfully clear they'd never truly cared about what was good for me or what would actually make me happy. Once I realized the horrible truth of my situation I only stuck around so long because I didn't want to rock the boat. I always liked the singing, and the sexist jokes from the pulpit were a decent conversation starter for whenever I wanted to try another assault on the fortress of my parents' ignorance. One day during Sunday morning song service my dad saw me reading a book in my lap. He leaned over and angrily said, "If you're only here for me, don't bother." So I stood up and walked out.

Never been back.

God and I were always chill, from the start to the end. We get into some heated moral arguments and sometimes we debate whether gods even exist, but what else are gods for? It's the worshipers who worry me.

[thehollowwriter]

Long ass ramble about Christianity stuff under the cut idk

I roam the anti Christiaity tags quite a lot, and a common thing I've notcied, especially with atheists, is people acting like Christians are all just stupid people who believe whatever they're told.

Well, I'm sure it's very easy to sit and tout yourself as more superior and intelligent than these foolish people who believe in fictional deities, especially when you haven't been raised Christian yourself.

Just having the knowledge of the world outside the confines of Christianity doesn't magically undo being taught all your life that not only is the "outside" (non-Christians) the enemy, but they will try and trick and deceive you to pull you away from god.

It is drilled in from the start that all humans are inherently evil and without god you have no worth. You are told over and over and over that without god you are a worthless, sinful person who will suffer in hell for all eternity.

Let me say that again: over and over and over, non-Christians are described not as non-believers that are people too, but the ENEMY. They are not to be trusted or befriended because they can lead you off the righteous path to heaven and into eternal damnation because they don't have the holy spirit to protect them from Satan. Non-Christians are dehumanised and treated like a threat.

On top of that, over and over and over, you are told you are worthless and evil. Does that make you feel bad about yourself? Lower your self-esteem? Come now, silly, that's just Satan trying to pull you away from god! God will make you happy and ensure you are saved. Aren't you just so grateful that he loves you despite your evilness?

Now add the fact that Christian parents limit their children's exposure to other beliefs or non-Christians and tell them that what other people say that is against god or the bible are lies from the devil. Your entire community agrees with this. The adults in your life agree with this, and those that don't are made out to seem like poor lost souls going to hell.

Do not think about what the enemies are telling you. Do not listen to them. Those are the words of Satan leaving their mouths, you don't want to listen to Satan, do you?

Now they present "facts" about how the sinful world ruled by Satan hates good Christians like yourself and that Christians are oppressed. You can't doubt them, or you are doubting god, and if you doubt god, you are not a true Christian, and you will go to hell. Those lovely bible bedtime stories read by your parents describing terrible things happening to people who doubt god are sitting in the back of your mind.

Then add the fact that you are told that if someone is Christian, and especially a pastor, you can trust what they say because they speak the word of god. If they are wrong or a particularly bad person, then they're actually not a real Christian.

However, you are still told to spread the good news of god! Go tell people god is good, tell them they have a chance because of Jesus' love and mercy! Jesus isn't like your average man. He's not like those mean sinful people because he is the perfect son of god.

Naturally, this will get mixed or negative or even aggressive reactions. And what does that do? It will simply prove that the "enemy" hates Christians and is too blinded by Satan to hear the word of God.

The outside won't show you the kindness and love and acceptance that your church has always shown. So, you stay because to you, that is your only place of safety and love and salvation.

A lot of this mainly applies it you're raised Christian, and most people who convert to Christianity were raised Christian too and then stopped believing before falling into the manipulation once again.

But what about those who weren't raised Christian?

Oh, right! Many Christian organisations support and donate to hospitals, charities, youth hostels, homeless shelters, etc, where they then go and preach. My grandfather is a pastor, and he preaches at local prisons.

What a more perfect time to talk to the "enemy" about how they can find salvation, purpose, and safety in god than when they are at their worst mentally and physically? When they are desperate for any way to cope or a way out?

I still think about the time I sat through my church's proudly announcing that they "helped" impoverished communities by spending thousands of Rands on... giving them all bibles! Having faith in God will help them more than the church ever could, apparently.

Now they can prevent you from asking questions all the easier! And you certainly can't be educated about sex because that's bad and sinful unless it's with your god given spouse for the purpose of having children.

Lack of education is also a wonderful advantage to the church, especially when they prevent you from pursuing any further education by claiming academia spreads lies.

In fact, almost all of the kids at the church my family goes to are homeschooled by their good Christian parents who will prevent them from being exposed to the "enemy's lies". Surely keeping them from socialising with other people with different beliefs and controlling what they are taught (even if you as a parent are not qualified to teach!) will be a big help of preventing them from being a lost sheep!

You can't possibly tell if they're spreading misinformation about sex and pregnancy or sexuality as a whole. You don't know a single thing about safe sex or contraceptives or stds. All you know is sex between a married man and woman is beautiful and pure, and anything else is evil! You are tainted and no longer pure if you engage in such things.

The bible even says a married man looking another woman with lust has already committed adultery (thought crimes!), and surely sexual thoughts or feelings that you don't really understand are evil too. So, talking about sex and learning about it? Hah, absolutely not!

(Now everyone quickly act confused about teenage pregnancy or families with no access to this education having more children than they can support being extremely common)

This is basically a long-winded way of saying that acting like Christians are just foolish people who haven't been in the real world glosses over how much manipulation, fearmongering and gaslighting is used to control people and ensure they don't break from the religion. And, shocking at it may be, even if you do manage to leave, it does not magically undo all that's been drilled into you.

It's easy to sit and act like you're so very superior and far more intelligent for seeing all these *obvious* things, especially if you haven't experienced being in the actual religion.

[restbeyondtheriver]

Can you please pray for me? I'm really struggling with feeling responsible for ushering the salvation of people in my life. My church is working through this series on selecting four people in your life and helping them to know Jesus. My pastor says things like "Without your help someone is facing an eternity without their Creator." I know that as Christians we are tasked with spreading the good news, and when I think about the amount of people I know or have met who aren't saved I feel overwhelmed and guilty. Maybe it's a generational thing too but I'm gen z and it just seems like people my age either get combative or put up a wall when you mention faith. I'm more than willing to have those conversations with people when the opportunity arises but until then all I've been doing is praying for others and trying to live like Jesus/be a light. Still I worry that I'm not "trying enough" and I'm letting God down.

I'll use my salvation story as an example & maybe it will help:

I heard the call of the Holy Spirit at 9 years old, I answered it at 12 years old. I white-knuckled the pew every Sunday for years filled with paranoid thoughts about why I shouldn't go forward: I am scared -> I know I shouldn't be scared -> I've waited to long to go forward & am embarrassed -> I've waited too long & now I feel behind -> I feel like I'm in trouble & I don't want to be a bad person but I am so what do I do etc. etc. etc.

I did raise my hand when asked if I needed to make a decision one Sunday though & a deacon saw me. He ran out in the parking lot to tell my mom who took me back in (I was fully panicking now lol). The pastor was leading me in the sinners prayer & I even blurted out "I can't do this!"

I did though, I did say the sinners prayer & I did mean it. It was not some mystical or magical thing that made all fear disappear in that millisecond. Frankly, I was tired & puffy eyed & still felt very outed & embarrassed as a bad person (this is silly, the cross already outed me & you as that & everyone was very very happy about my decision, they did not make me feel bad, I was just an anxious kid). This is because conversion is to do with acceptance of will or heart, not of feeling, & feelings just always take me awhile. My soul was saved, the rest of me needed some work & always will - to quote my own pastor.

I say all of that to say this: the conviction was to raise my hand when everyones eyes were closed & to make a decision because I knew that was the truth. This was different than the paranoia I had felt before this. It was a moment just between me & God where I was totally honest. I knew what I needed to do &, with a lot of pre-teen angst in toe, did it. I was just afraid & God saved me anyway. I had to have a lot of help to confess with my mouth my conviction that He is Lord & God saved me anyway. I still look back on it & squirm & am embarrassed at myself & God saved me anyway. 

I'm more than willing to have those conversations with people when the opportunity arises but until then all I've been doing is praying for others and trying to live like Jesus/be a light - is all you have to do, just like the decon that day did. The conviction the deacon had to run out in the parking lot in a suit & tie to flag down my mom just to make sure she knew probably made him feel a little strange, but he also knew the truth of what he needed to do. He just was there & willing to serve. God does the good work regardless of our feelings of silliness or embarrassment or overwhelm or guilt. He expects our imperfections & has made ample provision. You are listening & praying & improving & helping just as you are, wait for conviction & then act. Don't be afraid to feel a little (or a lot) overwhelmed.

God hasn't placed the responsibility of these 4 people on your shoulders, He has placed it on His own. He can carry it. He does carry it now. 

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Suffering & Dwelling

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ Psalm 150:6: "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!"

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+1 Peter 5:10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM SUFFERING BUT I AM GOING TO BE OKAY

I AM HAPPY

I AM CONTENT

I AM A IMAGE BEARER

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

Suffering and pain, lately we all have been going through that, and we suffer loss, and sometimes we dont understand why. Still, God never says it will be easy. A lot of times, when we suffer, we are caught off guard. When we are, tons of questions come through our heads, and at this moment, this season of our life we are going through can make us bitter; we never know what we can endure if we never have to endure anything.

   I have dealt with pain and suffering, and I kept asking the question, why God? And I kept feeling myself feel this emotion I had never felt, and it was hurt. I heard the Holy Spirit say to me; you must go through this because you've never been through this type of pain, and you've never been through this moment before, and I need you to understand that I love you and what you are going through is going to make you stronger before.

  Paul knew all too well how to endure the pain, and that's the problem. Many of us dont know what to do when we are under pressure. We dont know what it means to dig deep. Some of us have been through the fire with the help of God. And that's where our character is pushed through the crushing season. Everyone wants to skip over the crushing and painful season, but you must understand that through and during this process, you will be tried on every side, but the only way we can make it out is to go through it with God!

 Paul pleaded if you could take this from me, but Jesus said unto him in verse 9, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me.

  See, his grace and power are made perfect in our weakness; when we are weak, we are made strong in him, and Paul said I would boast the more in my weakness because of the power of Christ! We are stronger with the power of Christ. We can go through the worst pain when we lean in on Christ, and how do we lean in by getting by ourselves and crying out to him, by getting in our secret place and reading our word, waiting for him to guide us because some of us are in this season because we won't allow God to guide us.

Doing the pain and suffering, you will experience loss, loss of friends, loss of things, but what we have to keep remembering is that whatever God put us through, he'll see us through; through this time, we will feel the hurts of physical and mental pain, but Paul says this to us verse 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

  He said I delight when this happens. I dont get bitter, but I'm okay if someone insults me. I'm okay if my labor gets more challenging because I am weak, but then I am strong. Why? Because he has Christ, we have Christ and his strength. Sometimes, when we endure, we won't understand it all. It's not meant for us to, but what we must get is God isn't worried about money, fame, houses, cars, or relationships; he's concerned with our souls!

   This body is a lump of dust; when we leave it, everything will go back to the ground, but our soul goes to God; in everything we do here, we need to make sure our soul is right with our maker. We need to make sure our heart is right with him. Did you go through the suffering with him, or Did you fight God every step of the way through it? We must understand that when we are put through, we will be brought through, but what we do know is Paul is saying that suffering is something we will have to endure this type of pain; when we go through, hold on to God because he has us in his hands.

  ***Today, we learned that we would suffer as part of the process. Sometimes, we will feel that we didn't get the best end of the deal, but what we have to understand is that in order to grow, we must go through something and not just pray the situation away probably , because something that won't happen; we have to start praying while we are in this situation, we must look to God on how to make it through and not feel he left us and he hasn't, a lot of time we take the suffering as a personal attack from God no my friends what God is trying to do each day is help us grow into more like him! We are image bearers, but we must be more than that every day, and in order to get to that place, we must go through it so we can depend more on God.

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, thank you for everything; we ask that you bless us through our hardship and suffering; we give you everything. We ask you to help us to carry out our assignment according to how you see fit! Lord, we thank you so much. Lord, if there's anything we need to learn and we aren't, please show us. Lord, help us to learn what you're trying to show us; give us an ear to hear and eyes to see; help us to seek you and pray to you at all times. Lord, please don’t allow our suffering to bring us into anything, like the spirit of depression please help us to keep looking towards you where our strength ls, we thank you so much father giving you glory and honor  in Jesus' Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

+ Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

+ Pslam 34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

 

+ 2 Timothy 3:12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,

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FURTHER READINGS

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 Proverbs 9

Genesis 2

Matthew 10

James 1

=========================

[countessofravenclaw]

Anchor imagery and Gastina

I don't know if anyone has noticed that Nina wears a weird amount of Achor patterns on her clothing.

Let me show you:

S1E78

S2E9

S2E36

S2E48

These are just the ones I remember. There might be more.

The interesting thing about these is that she wears anchors in a lot of scenes that have something to do with Gastón. Their first kiss, the scene where he teases her about learning to skate, and the scene with Xavi where Nina literally described her relationship with Gastón as "too intense".

Anchor biblically symbolizes hope and it part of the Faith, Hope, Love trio.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:13

Anchors are nautical devices that provide stability to ships during harsh storms, protecting them from being tossed around at sea. Throughout history, anchors have served as a much-needed device for sailors. In the Bible, an anchor is used as a symbol of our hope in Jesus which gives us stability and steadfastness in life. In ancient days, the anchor was used in artwork and engravings as a symbol of Christianity. Anchors appear in the Roman catacombs on the tombs of Christians, showing the Christians’ steadfast hope in eternal life.

I don't mean to get too preachy here and we don't even know the religious stance of DCLA, even when can just assume that everyone is catholic. That being said, I do Hc just a little bit that Gastón maybe grew up a little bit more religious than the rest, and I feel it first with his parents getting themselves out of poverty by a bunch of small miracles. This is not the point of this though.

Anchors symbolize hope and stability. Something that Gastón represents for Nina.

She is a divorce child from a broken home. She has been fought over by her parent for who knows how long, but long enough for it really to impact her mental health and self-esteem. She doesn't feel worthy of any love, because she has been fought over like an object with no free will for most of her life.

Gastón was probably one the first people to just love her unconditionally, without having some need to prove that he loves her more than someone else, and she herself was enough. (I don't mean to leave Luna out of this. We'll come back to her later) Gastón loved Nina for who she was, and who she could be for herself.

I don't think Nina has ever known a happy whole family life without her parent fighting. Gastón is from a nuclear family with two parents happily married (Technically my headcanon, but I think canon speaks for it very strongly). I think Nina was definitely taken into his family right away. His parents very possibly were one of the first exposures that Nina had to a healthy long-term marriage.

Anchor represents hope for steadfastness and security. We didn't see this much, but it is pretty fair to say that Gastón probably was quite protective of Nina, Gary would have not gotten even close to her in S3 if he had been around. He often provides her with stability, full-on physically by often having an arm around her shoulder or waist or just by emotionally. With him, she has a hope of a better future and life for herself with him

These are things she lacks in S3 a lot. She doesn't know what she wants to do, and struggles with clarity and writing, especially with the skating site. Her anchor is gone so to say, and she drifts off to sea.

None of this meant to say that she can't be her own independent woman, she absolutely can and is, but that doesn't mean that she can't consider the person she loves as someone who provides her security and stability.

Anyways, these are the reasons why Nina backtracks in character development. She still has Luna as support, but how I view her development is that she needs both, Luna and Gastón. Luna got her on skates in S1, but it was Gastón who helped her almost as much with it. He taught her how to stop and assured her that it was okay to fall and that nothing bad could happen to her. Luna was the one who Nina moving, but Gastón was her anchor.

When you view things like that, you alos notice how similar Gastón and Luna's backgrounds are. They are both from happy homes with two parents with healthy relationships. This can be also kind of applied to Matteo as well, since he is from a broken home in a different way, and why Gastón and Luna were the people for him too.

[late-to-the-fandom]

Character Relationships Tag

THANK YOU @spuddlespud for tagging me in this! I have always wanted an excuse to do this for Renathal’s various relationships. And fair warning I took this so serious so it is long (I hid it under the break, you’re welcome 😂)

Tagging: @shipping-through-eternity @mousterian-writes @diaryofomellas @scourge-lover I would love to see your character’s relationships in a nice bullet point list where I can keep track 😂

Denathrius - Renathal’s relationship with Denathrius is a mix of father/son and God/creation. Without meaning any offense, I drew a lot from my experience watching Protestant Christians describe their relationship with God - where it’s supposed to be both reverent and familial/personal all at once. Denathrius is his guidepost in everything, his confidante/confessor, his father he’s sure loves him, and his god he’s certain can do no wrong. When he initially discovers what Denathrius is doing, he’s almost certain it’s some sort of test, a way to see what Renathal would be willing to do in the event of deep seated corruption in the realm. Obviously, Denathrius’ actual betrayal and careless disposal of Renathal is catastrophically traumatic to him. (Also, important note for me: I don’t give this relationship any sexual aspect whatsoever)

The Maw Walker - Renathal’s relationship with the Maw Walker originally starts as a replacement for the hole left by Denathrius. In the midst of this trauma, the Maw Walker shows up and rescues him, his friends, his entire realm, and, what’s more, supports his rebellion. Obviously, he latches on to this person for comfort. But over time, this relationship evolves into something I consider more mature, and less one sided than his ret with Denathrius; based on mutual trust and respect, an understanding of the other’s flaws and limitations, and a realisation they both have something to offer the other for their greater health and happiness. It’s a relationship that makes them both the best version of themselves.

The Curator - I think of all Renathal’s relationships with other Venthyr, theirs is the closest. Not best friend close, but siblings close in age close. It’s based on my own relationship with my brother, a year younger than me. We can not talk for months, but when we do we pick right back up as if we never stopped. We have a million inside jokes and shared history that our other younger siblings don’t have, and fights come and go pretty meaninglessly because we’re just such a permanent fixture in each other’s lives. That’s how I see this relationship.

The Accuser - I headcanon the Accuser as relatively young in Venthyr terms and somewhat recently ascended to her position (talking hundreds of years rather than thousands). Renathal is used to commanding a certain amount of basic respect from other harvesters, and she’s the first one in his memory to just say fuck that noise 100%. She can’t stand Renathal and only puts up with him out of respect for chains of command. What’s worse is Renathal actually respects her more than any Harvester in a long time, and so it bothers him that she doesn’t respect him. The only time they’ve ever seen eye to eye is when Renathal started his rebellion (which was more shocking to the Accuser who thought Renathal would put loyalty to Denathrius over paltry things like right and wrong). I think by the end of my story they’ve come to a tentative respect for each other but they’re never destined to be friends (it’s going to take a few more eons as a Venthyr before the Accuser can see the merit in the decadence and frivolities she thinks Renathal values too highly).

The Countess - what’s the word when you fuck each other occasionally in spite of or specifically because you hate each other so you know you’re safe from catching any feels and also you can use it against other sometimes, but you feel gross afterwards and you hate seeing each other pretty much any other time? Bang enemies? Fuck foes? That’s Renathal and the Countess.

The Stonewright - You know the sibling that’s technically younger than you but is taller, tougher, and could clearly beat you to a pulp so you make a point not to mess with them in order to maintain the illusion that you’re superior? That’s Renathal and the Stonewright.

Other harvesters - I don’t have many set headcanons for Renathal’s relationships with other harvesters, because in my world they come and go fairly regularly. Only the Curator and the Stonewright are close to Renathal’s age and the ones he considers his true siblings. The rest he’s polite enough to (as long as they stay on his good side) but he never lets them forget he’s their superior and he never fully trusts them or is close to any of them (since most of them are actively try to usurp his position, hence why none of them ever last long).

Theotar - Ok. Here is my personal headcanon for the relationship that is the darling of so much of the Renathal fandom (and which I fully admit is coloured by my dislike for this character). They were relatively close friends before the rebellion, with Renathal attracted to Theotar’s hidden sincerity, a trait rare in Venthyr. But, in an effort to spare Theotar from Denathrius who likes to sabotage Renathal’s relationships in painful ways, he keeps this relationship from going anywhere too intimate and in the end they’re two friends that know they might have enjoyed a romantic relationship in a different timeline but the circumstances just never worked out and they’re perfectly content with how things landed.

Draven, Chelra, and Vorpalia - I think Renathal’s greater friendships would come from these three, each of whom is somewhat out of Denathrius reach (more so than the Venthyr). He doesn’t confide in any of them as totally as he does with Denathrius and then the Maw Walker, mostly because he still feels he has to maintain a semblance of Princely decorum. But he does trust them in ways he doesn’t trust other Venthyr because they’re outside Venthyr politics, and the likelihood they can be turned against him, even by Denathrius, is small.

I think that’s all the major ones! Although if I missed a major one, let me know!

[holeposts]

Catholicism is a odd thing sometimes because it's a cultural identity, much more so than other kinds of Christianity, and it's simultaneously very much on the conservative end of the religion spectrum. It's also very clear in its doctrine, unlike Protestantism where the whole idea is to make shit up as you go. Catholicism has all of its beliefs and views spelled out point by point in the Catechism and is pretty explicit that if you don't believe all of it, you'll go to hell.

If you dig into that Catechism, you'll find austere beliefs, such as - there is no such thing as gay marriage, abortion is murder even in medical emergencies, women must dress modestly, *all* premarital sexual contact is sin (contrary to popular myth, this is not exclusive to PIV) and so on. You also have pretty strict ritualistic beliefs such as the Sunday obligation, the sacrament of confession, the requirement to be in a state of grace in order to receive communion, abstention on Fridays, etc.

Do most Catholics actually believe or even know all of this? Hell no. I don't know about other countries, but the typical American Catholic doesn't go to church every week and probably hasn't read the Catechism. They may know peripherally that there's a such thing as "mortal sin" and that they're technically committing a lot of them, but they haven't been raised to take that seriously or think too hard about it. They're just regular people whose parents taught them the word Catholic and not too much else.

But then you have Catholics like my family, who have read the Catechism and believe it genuinely and in full, and experiences like mine, which were very doctrinal. I was taught to take mortal sin very seriously. I was given explicit descriptions of hell at a young age so that I would grow up with a real fear of it and do pretty much whatever it took to avoid it. Even if that meant taking on harmful beliefs...when you're facing down the real-feeling threat of eternal hellfire, what are you supposed to do? Catholicism infiltrated every minute of my life - I lived and breathed it because I was so desperate to make sure I was "saved". And my experience breaking away from it was difficult and frankly a bit traumatic.

And people don't get it. For most people around me, being an ex-Catholic just means "went from going to church a couple times a year to not going at all." They don't understand the bitter anger I have for the church and for the people who made a very intentional effort to instill me with so much fear. They don't understand all the problematic beliefs of the institution they tie themselves to. They think they have a pro-gay pope (there's no such thing) and that you have to like, murder someone to get into hell. And it's just not the case.

That's why we have to be vocal about Catholicism. I do think it's a net good that people are watering down what "Catholic" means and basically reclaiming it as an identity that suits their own purposes - but I also don't like that it's so accidental. That people are identifying themselves with the Catholic church, not fully acknowledging just how majorly the church contradicts their actual beliefs. We need to call out the church more for what it is - a deeply conservative and high-demand religion that can, and does, seriously traumatize and hurt people.

I'm happy for everyone who's had a good experience with the church, but I also want people to understand that those experiences are *not* the church's goal. The church wants you to be afraid and obedient. It wants you to exclude people. It wants you to vote for harmful policies. It doesn't want you to live happy and free and to sleep well at night. In the end, as far as I'm concerned, the only good Catholic church is a dismantled one.

[foxbox21212]

I will never forget my friend asking me, “What if you’re wrong? What if God isn’t God or good, how do you really know?”

This is the answer to that question. It seems very silly that God would send a son to help heal earth and then die for us for entirely no reason. It seems silly Jesus would stop me from committing suicide literally 3 times for no reason at all. It’s a silly thought that maybe I did witchcraft and demons tried to kill me after for no reason. Every time I study the Bible I see it come to life literally before me. It’s not just a book, it’s the word of God. Every single thing in the Bible is true I am 100% convinced now after all the things I have seen. And to understand the Bible, you need to understand God and Satan. You need to understand their character and who they say they are. If someone tells you who they are, you should probably just believe them. The worst possible thing that could happen to me if God isn’t God is I lose my pride and ego. That’s literally it. Living a christian life is victorious and attractive to me. They are always so happy, giving, genuine, lovers of truth and goodness, they are just different. Of course not all but I have met a lot like this who are real Christians. There is plenty to lose if you are not a christian. The number one thing for me is eternal life. That should be reason alone to believe in God. Because if you are wrong, that is just foolishness. But even besides that, the closer you get to God the more he comes to life in your life. The more you see him move and see his qualities that completely align with scripture. The Bible is alive it’s the living breathing word of God. You wouldn’t know that unless you live through it and read bible. And you know, people read bible like a chore and don’t even try to seek God. But when you seek God with all your heart there you will find him. Jeremiah 29:13.

Also the friend who asked me this literally sees demons… And you know why the Lord allowed them to see demons? Because he loves them and he doesn’t want that person to go to hell on the day of judgement. Please pray for that friend if you are led, that maybe they can see clearly, thank you. And you know what’s so sad? Is there is probably a reason why God gave them that gifting, probably to heal people and to tell people their ailments because they can see them.

I think what people don’t understand is I am willing to say I am wrong. But tbh I have not even seen that in the slightest yet. And tbh, the people who even ask these sort of questions, don’t do their research, they don’t read bible, they don’t pray to God, they can never answer any of your questions, and they do not seek with all their heart. Rather than relying on never changing truth which is the rock, they rely on their feelings which is as fleeting as dust in the wind. So don’t listen to these people with nothing in their heads. Run to people who do know what they’re talking about.

[taocrafttarot]

Happy Festivus to all who celebrate! Welcome to what I'm calling Blurry Time '23. Elfcon is over, the preparations are done. It's all cookies and coffee from here.

I'm a fan of Outlined, the web comic by Chaz Hutton. My favorite comic is the drawing of a December calendar page where the second half is basically a bunch of wiggly lines.

That perfectly captures the feel of the season. Even for those of us working a normal day job schedule, there is a sense of shared down time and camaraderie among those out and about actually doing the things  for that week between Christmas eve and New Years day.

It's truly liminal space and time. It is magical time. It is time disconnected from time - or something like that.

2023 as a whole felt very liminal and transitional. It was a blurry-ish year moving from the extended pandemic dumpster fire years 2020-22 (2016-22 if you live in the U.S.) We'll get back to how 2024 is looking when we do the annual just-for-fun (and wishful thinking) year-ahead Tarot reading next weekend (-ish)

In the meantime, I want to use blurry time to bridge years.

2023 was the first full year of Sage Words Tarot. I want to circle back around and use the blurry time re-introduce it all for the bright, shiny new year on the way.

I don't know why - probably no reason at all - but it always seems to start with musing about names.

Hi! I'm Sage.

I'm also a Tarot reader and author of Sage Sips blog.

I've been reading Tarot and oracle cards since around 1992 which adds up to 30 years of experience with Tarot and intuition development (!)

I didn't originally start out to be a Tarot reader (who does?) At first, I did readings for myself and friends (why PAY for it when you can DIY it?) After close friend suggested I go online with my readings (eternal gratitude!) I offered psychic Tarot readings through Keen, Advice Trader and AllExperts under my old internet handle, Baihu. After doing hundreds of online readings (I stopped counting after 400) I opened my own Tarot practice in 2003 which grew to include ModernOracleTarot.com, the Tarotbytes blog and the now-defunct Quirk & Flotsam shop on Etsy.

It was all good, but had become a hodge-podge of names and logos over the years. Then along came the Covid pandemic and changed things even more. After a short interim as TaoCraft Tarot (2018-2023) I've been working as SageWordsTarot.com and writing Sage Sips blog ever since.

TaoCraft lingers in layout names. TaoCraft was drawn from my love of Taoist philosophy. My Tarot work will always be guided by the principles of simplicity, authenticity, and kindness. It was also drawn from my affinity for solitary eclectic witchcraft. The TaoCraft name means a lot to me, but not so much to anyone else who sees it and that's a problem because these Tarot readings aren't about me - they are for YOU and about YOU.

Sage is a pen name, which helps to protect our privacy. Christian nationalism and religious bigotry is a very real thing here in America.  I will do all I can to make this a safe space for everyone, especially for the lgbtquia+ community and those of us who are not Christian.

The herb sage has a comforting, familiar scent and flavor that most of us know from home cooking and holiday turkeys.

In aromatherapy, sage incense and essential oil can clear negative energy, calm anxiety and promote a feeling of general well being.

The word sage also means something or someone who is wise. The word sage describes the wise advice Tarot gives.

Safety, comfort, calmness, wisdom and a feeling that things are going to be alright are all qualities I hope you’ll experience when you read the blog, visit my social media or best of all get a private reading of your own .

Click HERE if you would like to order a private Tarot reading by email, no appointment needed.

Click HERE to schedule a flat rate ($40) in-person, phone or online reading (valid email required to participate)

Click HERE to subscribe to Sage Sips membership on Ko-fi to get discounted email readings, free one card readings, and exclusive content on the ko-fi blog.

Enter your email in the right hand column (or scroll down on mobile) to get new posts in your inbox as they happen. If you prefer a once weekly digest please subscribe to Sage Sips on Substack

[redwineconversation]

Olympique Lyonnais - Bordeaux OLPlay Postgame Interviews

What is love if not eternal suffering? Winning is still cool though.

Blah blah standard disclaimers apply; @OL Comms Dept the backlog is killing me but a PSL would definitely speed things up; being banned for life from a stadium for invasive behavior would solve parasocial relationships REAL quick; y'all know the speech.

This is a Timothee Piron and Coralie Ducher fan account first and everything else second.

LAURA BENKARTH POSTGAME INTERVIEW

[interview is done in English]

Timothee: We have a very happy goalkeeper who is smiling right now. Laura, it was a good game for you I imagine, your first game with Olympique Lyonnais.

Benkarth: Yes, I'm very happy to do my first game for [Olympique] Lyonnais. And also we won, so it's a good evening.

Timothee: How was it for you? It wasn't the most difficult game tonight.

Benkarth: Yeah, it's maybe difficult as a goalkeeper to stay in the game, because a lot of time you have nothing to do except maybe one situation here or there. So it's sometimes difficult for your head to stay in the game. But I think the team played really well, we could have scored some more goals maybe but we're really happy to have the win.

Timothee: There were some special moments, because it was the first game for you in front of the crowd. How did you feel?

Benkarth: Yeah it was nice to play in front of the home fans after these games. I'm really for the team. And it's always nice to play at home.

Timothee: We saw you during the training [session] speaking a lot with Christiane [Endler]. How is the relationship with Christiane?

Benkarth: It's really good. I think we push each other to be on a better level because we can help each other. She's also a really nice person. I like her really because she also helps me a lot with winning. I can also talk some German to her because her dad is German, so that's nice. It's fun with her, in training. Also with the young goalkeeper, Feerine Beldahj, I think we have a really good relationship. A good team spirit in the team.

Journalist: Maybe the team and your teammates told you about the next game. It's a very big one [ehh not really], it's against ASSE.

Benkarth: I've heard that green [ASSE's colors] is forbidden in Lyon. So I'm excited. We'll see what happens next week and we'll try to win.

Journalist: Thank you, Laura. Maybe a word in French?

Benkarth: [in French] Goodbye, have a good night.

Journalist: [in French] Thank you.

ADA HEGERBERG POSTGAME INTERVIEW

Journalist: Ada, how are you feeling after your return?

Hegerberg: I'm really happy. First of all I'm happy to be back with the team again. It's true that - [Hegerberg gets distracted by something off-camera] - it's true that it does a lot of good to be able to play again and be efficient. It was a good starting point.

Journalist: Overall, what do you personally think about your team's beginning of the season so far? It's pretty much perfect, there was the win at the Trophee des Championnes, three league wins, zero goals conceded. It's an ideal start.

Hegerberg: It's an ideal start. It's always good to start off a season in the manner that we did. I don't want to say it puts at ease but it definitely gives a sense of serenity as we continue to work. With a start like that, we can have higher expectations for ourselves. We have to ask more of ourselves because there are some really big games coming up, and it's really just the beginning [of the season]. So, to not have conceded any goals, get the forwards going again, I think all of that is important, especially in terms of confidence. Now it's up to us to continue working hard and get ready for what's coming next.

Journalist: You brought up the forwards. There is a lot of competition this season with the arrivals of Melchie [Dumornay], Kadidiatou Diani. There are three of you who scored this evening, Eugenie [Le Sommer] scored in the first two league games. How do you cope with the competition?

Hegerberg: It's funny because we always hear about the competitiveness this season, but in reality that's been the case the past 10 years I have been at Lyon. I think it needs to be like that. I think it's good for the team when there is competition. We need to push each other. And for me personally, I've always experienced that at Lyon. And it should always be the case if we want to be a competitive club.

Journalist: Can you talk a little about your goal after having come on as a substitute? We saw that you have a really great relationship with the fans, they chanted your name and you applauded them in return. Was it a special moment for you?

Hegerberg: Yeah, like every moment with the fans in the stands. I can't repeat it enough but I think we [Olympique Lyonnais] have an understanding with the fans about our identity. There isn't sports without fans. We like that they show up every game. They need to be there, too, to push us. It's a good feeling. If they're not there, there isn't sport. So it was a good moment. And I hope that we can bring in a lot of people, I'd like to see more and more people come see us play, especially when we play at Groupama because there is more space. It's up to us to perform well. I think it's important to play a good game, because it will attract more people. When you have the results [that Lyon has], it should attract people.

Journalist: Ada, I have one more question for you. What are your personal objectives?

Hegerberg: [big sigh] It's true that I want to win everything with the team. That's the goal, to perform the best that I can, and to do the best job that I can for the team.

SONIA BOMPASTOR POSTGAME INTERVIEW

Journalist: We're with Sonia after this nice 4-0 win. Lyon had a complicated first 20 minutes, they struggled to break through the Bordeaux bloc. But everything fell into place really quickly after that.

Bompastor: Yeah, yeah, it's true. Regarding the game, it was a little difficult. We lacked technical efficiency in the final third. We sometimes made the wrong decisions, we rushed. Now you're right to say that we were faced with Bordeaux's bloc, which was very low and compact, as we were expecting. After that, in terms of the context of the game, the starting lineup had some players who hadn't played in a while, some return from injuries. So in terms of rhythm we knew we had to give them a little bit of time. Once we were able to score that first goal, things went better for us towards the end of the first half.

Journalist: Were you expecting that kind of game?

Bompastor: Yes. In any case, for our preparation we studied Bordeaux's first two games, the first league day against Paris and the second one against Le Havre. We know that in terms of ball possession they play very direct, but defensively they would defend very low with a really compact block, no space between the lines, which wouldn't leave us with any space. They also changed formations during the game as they started in a 4-2-3-1 and finished with a 3-5-2. They tried to make it difficult for us with the two strikers in the second half and tried to block off the midfield with 5 players behind them. So it's never easy, because as I said, there isn't a lot of space, you really have to be technically efficient. Despite all that, I think if we really analyze the game, we created a lot of chances. We could have been more efficient as well and we could have run the score up more. But we also know there is work left to do and we'll focus on that.

Journalist: We saw Kadidiatou Diani's first goal tonight, Ada Hegerberg's first goal as well, she came on as a substitute. I imagine it's really good for you to see your forwards gain confidence.

Bompastor: Yes. Yes, a lot of satisfaction, obviously for them personally. As you just said, it's always important for a forward to have confidence and score goals and make the difference. So I think that mentally it will allow them to feel good, continue working hard and progress, and be at their best level.

Journalist: I have two more quick questions. The first is the ranking, we're now even with Paris FC having won 4-0. We had another clean sheet. Are you completely happy with this game against Bordeaux or is there still room for improvement?

Bompastor: No, not in terms of the objectives you just laid out. Defensively we continue our streak of having clean sheets, so that proves the defensive solidarity we have, that's important. In terms of ball possession, there's still room for improvement, we'll really analyze this game and take away the necessary information to progress and elevate expectations. Now as you said, we're tied for first. I think Paris FC is ahead of us on goal differential, because there hasn't been a head-to-head and I think it's the goal differential that dominates in that situation. If we could have scored a fifth goal that would have been good but it's been a good start to season and it shows there are still some things to go get, and that's good.

Journalist: The next thing to go get is the derby. It's the next matchup for Lyon, it's always a little particular.

Bompastor: Yeah, yeah. A derby is always special. I said before it's not the same rivalry as with the men's team. But the players, the staff, even myself, were really happy that ASSE is back in the first division so that we can have this game, have this derby. And we're looking forward to next Saturday so we can play the type of matches we enjoy.