#i finally thought of a backstory for my wol!

[sakiroll]

my wol's family

[moment-live]

I finished the set! May I present: her, the okay-est warrior of light 

[loldragoon-ffxiv]

Obligatory Long Dawntrail Post

I wanted to wait a while to say anything and let my hype die down first, but I think it's finally time. Overall, I really liked it! Especially how it relates to my WoL, which is more what I want to focus on because the internet has had enough hot takes about Wuk Lamat. More rambling under the cut:

To get the big picture stuff out of the way, I have always felt that this game is at its best when it's leaning into its politics. I'll admit it's risky to do from a commercial standpoint in this very polarized world, and sometimes I think it misses, especially when they try to touch on something that Japan has a huge blind spot towards culturally. But many of its best story beats, in my opinion, are the political ones. I'll always remember playing patch 2.55 for the first time, and that moment of realization I had watching Nanamo and Alphinaud both face consequences for their well-intentioned idealism, that we may not solve all the worlds' problems through the power of friendship and being really good at fighting alone. Obviously, the power of friendship is a big part of the game's central ethos, but it isn't enough. It was a hint at the underlying pragmatism of the game's politics that I really wasn't expecting from an MMO, especially one that has as many cheesy hopeful feel-good moments as this one tends to. I am also a big Stormblood liker overall, as much as I acknowledge it had serious problems with the pacing and character writing. I think the comparisons to Dawntrail are fair, but I like the same things about both of them. They're both best interpreted through the lens of actual world history and current events, and I think seem more shallow on the surface than they really are if you're not paying attention to the smaller moments with minor NPCs during the "exploring the new zones" bits of MSQ. I'd argue that Dawntrail did an even better job with its political commentary than Stormblood did, and I had a feeling it would when they mentioned they were hiring sensitivity readers. I think they did a great job of addressing a lot of the things that made people uncomfy about Stormblood by having the Scions take the backseat and letting the Turali people have their own agency in the story. I have a lot more opinions on the politics in Dawntrail overall, but I think other people have mostly said everything I want to say about that already. More interestingly, I think this expansion really surprised me with how well a lot of my character decisions with Zoisite, my WoL, ended up paying off. Because I hadn't really thought of Zoisite as an OC until early Heavensward, I tried to think about her backstory through the lens of what would make her the most interesting protagonist for the themes and plotlines I thought the game was trying to set up. I decided to make her half Doman, with a foreign adventurer father, and with an older half-sister that spent most of Zoisite's life fighting against Garlemald. During the events of 1.0, while her sister was busy with the XIVth legion and Project Meteor, Zoisite ended up more of an adventurer instead, and entangled with Minfilia and the Path of the Twelve because of the Echo, which was unique to Zoisite. I wanted her to have a personal connection to the Garlemald plotline so that it felt deserved for her to be the one to "resolve" it, but explain why she was willing to go along with these other diversions during ARR and HW that weren't related to it, too. Obviously, the game itself had a similar idea with Lyse, but I thought the parallel was actually kinda nice and it was a big part of why I ate SB up as much as I did. As much as SE and the writers have no real control over this, these accidental predictions and coincidences have honestly been a big part of why I have enjoyed FFXIV as much as I have. My favorite moments in the game are when I'm wondering if the writers are reading my google docs for ideas. It makes me feel like I'm doing a good job picking up on subtext.

But aside from her backstory, I let MSQ itself determine most of Zoisite's arc, and I very rarely find myself "retconning" MSQ vs the other way around. She is just trailer WoL/Meteor in most ways, with the big exception being Feldspar's existence from the late HW patches on. Because Feldspar is my RP character and I'm mostly writing 20ish years post-MSQ, Zoisite's primary role as a character has always been Feldspar's estranged birth mother first, and MSQ WoL second. When I'm experiencing the game through Zoisite's perspective, however, I constantly have to reconcile these two roles, and it has honestly been very difficult to do that during ShB and EW. It's hard to justify the tedious fetch quests when the stakes (for her, at least) are so high. It made it very hard for her to care much about the ancients, or the people on the First, or Zenos's weird one-sided obsession with her, even when the game was trying to force her to. As much as possible, I've tried to rationalize away these character inconsistencies as an intentional distraction on her part, and that the excuse of saving the world and helping people has been keeping some of that fear and guilt about "abandoning" her son at bay for a while now.

And then Dawntrail really just came out and addressed it for me, in a way I was not expecting. It presented itself from the outset as a "vacation" from the high stakes, where Zoisite was just kinda standing in the background most of the time, along with a VERY HEAVY THEME of parental abandonment to force her to reckon with her issues. She spent all of Dawntrail wondering if Feldspar would feel the same way about her that Krile and Wuk Lamat feel about their parents, and see it as a noble sacrifice for his best interest, or if he would resent her for abandoning him without explanation like Gulool Ja and Koana do. Most importantly, it was much harder for Zoisite to pretend that she had no other choice than to give Feldspar up when she was constantly facing the reality that she could step down at this point and the world would probably keep turning without her protecting it. Unfortunately, it's too late for her to change her mind about Feldspar, both because Feldspar's narrative demands it, and also because years have passed and she can't just casually ask for him back even if she wanted to. Zoisite had no choice but to mourn and let it go, and I think watching Cahciua and Erenville's interactions in Living Memory also helped with that, because she kinda got a glimpse of the type of mother she most likely would have ended up as, and saw that motherhood might not have worked out as perfectly as she'd started fantasizing about in retrospect. Like Cahciua, she cares the most about seeing the world and helping people, and doing what's "right," and she would always struggle with putting anyone else (including her own son) ahead of that, if it came down to it. Without another parent in the picture to help, there was no route that wouldn't end with Feldspar feeling abandoned by Zoisite in some way. All-in-all, I liked how this gave me a satisfying conclusion to that arc for her, and a nice refresh for future expansions. I'd rank it on par with SB and ShB for how much I enjoyed them, with my overall ranking being something like HW > SB-ShB-DT > ARR > EW. There's also that minor detail about the Alexandrians having rock names, and Zoisite's existing backstory that her name is a family naming convention from her father's side, and that she doesn't really know where he's from. I have yet to figure out how to make that connection, but man. The possibilities.

[prbni]

My controversial Kdrama opinions

1. Ko Moon Young was just a psychologically messed up girl. She isn't the 'girlpower' or 'badass' that the Kdrama fandom likes to dub her into.

2. In 'Hotel del Luna', they could've just chucked the entire character of Gu Chansung out of the window and gave Chang Myung a rebirth/rebirths,make him go through various trials and tribulations to repent and earn Man Wol's forgiveness. Didn't have to make it unnecessarily tragic.

3. Unnecessarily tragic reminds me, the 'realistic' ending of 2521 was a JOKE. There was NO point of developing such a power couple if they were to break up for such a mundane reason.

4. Romance genre isn't Song Kang's 'thing'. He shines better as an actor in non-romance genres.

5. Had they focused on developing Ju Kyung as an individual character who finally learns how to completely take a stand for herself instead of dangling her between Suho and Seojun, 'True Beauty' would've become a more popular and appreciated drama.

6. The love line between Hwang InYeop and Seo Hyun Jin's character in 'Why her: Oh Soo Jae' was absolutely unnecessary and awkward.

7. Jo Bo Ah and Ahn Bo Hyun and an amazing chemistry in 'Military Prosecutor: Do Bae Man'. However, they could've developed a slowburn romance between them instead of abruptly putting a kiss sequence in the last episode out of nowhere.

8. In 'Snowdrop', Eun Young Ro forgiving Soo Ho later on didn't make sense. Their kiss sequence was purely fan service,nothing else.

9. Individual acting aside,Kim Hye Yoon had more chemistry with Lee Jae Wook(2nd lead) than Rowoon(main lead) in 'Extraordinary You'.

10. Writers are overusing 'Let's kill off the main character and make the show tragically memorable' trope wayyy too much.

11. As much as it physically hurts me given the chemistry of the actors,Choi Do Il and Oh In Joo not having any proper romantic sequence till the end of 'Little Women' makes sense to the storyline(the shipper me might've wanted a hug though).

12. Also the writers should stop doing the 'lets make the second lead better than the main lead'. Its annoying to see one person actually making sincere effort for the girl but the girl ends up totally ignoring their effort and like the ML. Not in just Kdramas but in all sorts of dramas. I actually saw a Chinese drama where the second lead finally turned into a villain. I LITERALLY commented 'good for him' lmao.

13. Sunho in 'Cheer Up' is problematic. Neither his sad backstory nor his sincere feelings for Haeyi changes that fact.

14. The Heirs(2013) drama wasted an opportunity to pair Young Do(Kim Woobin) with Yoo Rachel(Kim Jiwon). No, they didn't need to be 'siblings'. I'd have chosen the two heartbroken yet sassy and tough people romance over the sappy romance of the main couple in a heartbeat. And the actors would've NAILED it.

15. Jojo not ending up with Sunho in 'Love Alarm' finally broke the 'Cinderella and Prince Charming' fairytale trope of Kdramas. That girl was too messed up in the head . She didn't need the rich,fierce and impulsive lover, but the quite,patient and thoughtful one. So don't go ahead and say the ending sucked. Maybe they could've made things more coherent, but no the ending didn't suck.

16. Moon Dong Eun should have remained single, with the last episode ending with him crossing paths with Do Yeong, with Yeonjin & gang & all the revenge agenda gone, she could hv offered him a smile and a game of Go, keeping an open ending for them. Lee Do Hyun was fabulous in playing Yeojeong and their chemistry was amazing. But they could hv just been partners in crime with their teamwork without the romantic plot between them.

17. No. Ryu Shi Oh doesn't give second lead syndrome. Byun Woo Seok is a very good actor but he plays the villain in 'Strong Woman Kang Nam Soon' and not anti-hero. Lee Yoo Mi and him should be paired opposite to e/o in some other project in the future but Shi Oh and Nam Soon ain't the 'enemies to lovers' you think it is.

18. After Byun Woo Seok's popularity skyrocketed with 'Lovely Runner', many people dug up his previous works & lamented over not noticing him earlier. People even felt sad that he got his recognition late. But honestly, he wasn't very noticeable as an actor in his earlier stages imo. He kept working hard on his acting skills to get to where he is now. What I applaud about him is not giving up & putting the efforts in all right places but he didn't start from a 100.

19. I'm actually glad they brought back the fresh romcoms in 2024. Got tired of consistently watching crime thrillers,school violence,zombie apocalypse and stuff. I mean, of course they're good. But the key ingredient for Kdramas will always be those cringey classic slightly over-the-top romcoms.

20. Cha Eunwoo's acting in 'My ID is Gangnam Beauty' isn't as bad as people try to make it. His character actually demanded those stank cold expressions that he delivered. In fact, I'd say his character Do Kyeong Seok was one of the first Kdrama male leads that actually understood and empathised with the FL's situation and protected her in his own way without going over-the-top cliche "she is my yeoja and only I can bother her" about it.

[autumnslance]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @sheepwithspecs technically on my main but this is where fanfic goes. Do this if you wanna!

How many works do you have on AO3?

47 as of 2/6/24. There's a few things I need to get around to adding there though.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

411,290 as of 2/6/24

What are your top 5 fics by kudos

Downtime (compilation of younger Scions & other teen chars being pals in Norvrandt) Unexpected (compilation of shippy nonsense) A Constant Distant Thunder (Thancred in ARR patches post-Lahabrea) Ruminations (General Warrior of Light introspections & adventures) Rogue's Prelude (My headcanons on Thancred meeting Louisoix, Papalymo, and Yda)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually do! I often try to. So my comment count is almost, not quite though, doubled.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hrm; I tend to do a lot of bittersweet endings. We'll keep it simple and say "Never Gets Easier", a fic where Edmont and Charlemend talk about their lost sons. There's no sweetness there, just men haunted by mistakes and losses.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Maybe "When Everything Changes" which is kid fic from the POV of my WoL's older brother when she's born and his ambivalence turns to big brother joy and love.

Do you write crossovers?

Haven't yet.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I recall.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally. Usually pretty vanilla. It's all right, I guess.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Had an OC's backstory on our WoW RP server's fic blogging site lifted wholesale; they changed the names and class, and then…walked into our weekly guild meeting that I was leading and tried to join our guild. When confronted, the person claimed their partner had leveled the character for them and based the backstory on Skyrim (my OC's story is very specific to WoW). They tried to message me later as if we were pals who would laugh this off someday. I informed them that was not a thing and btw the site mods knew they were a plagiarist now. Also everyone knew who their alts were and a bunch of other trouble they'd caused. So far as I know, they bailed from our server after that.

I hoped they learned better and grew up quite a bit; this was well over a decade ago.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Once or twice now; so long as folks credit and link back to my originals, and share the translated link with me, it's all good!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Roleplay and actual story collaboration both. It's a lot of fun.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

How dare you.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*stares at WIP folder*

Come back with a warrant.

(I won't say never, but there's a lot that probably are just noodling and scraps to feed something else later)

What are your writing strengths?

Folks seem to like my dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Impatience, and certain grammatical abuses that do nothing for length nor clarity.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Depends on the fic. Depends on the intended audience.

For dialects, mostly the concern is "don't overdo it" as it can slow things down, be really jarring at best and offensive at worst, and difficult to understand if laying it on too thick.

Other languages entirely have different guidelines though, from sprinkling in single words or short phrases, to entire passages, and whether or not you translate or leave it up to the reader. Depends on fandom, on the characters, on the story, author intentions.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Narnia, in a my little girl diary as a pre-teen. I wanted to pick up Susan's story as a grown up and bring her and family back to a magical land. Cuz I knew it could, would happen someday, even if Lewis never got to write it himself.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Final Fantasy XVI. Midst. The latter is tricky as I really don't have ideas at the moment, but really want to dig into that vibe. My writing needs to be more weird in general, really.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How dare you, come back with a warrant!

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

Alright, I am going to TRY to do a BRIEF overview of Dusk's backstory, I guess. Just hit the highlights, up until he started actually adventuring. I will tell myself I can expand on everything later. Later!

Here's a picture that has nothing to do with anything, just because I like having a picture above the fold:

Alright, first off, Dusk's real name is Bellinor, and his sister is Oriane. Their father, when they were very small, started calling them Dusk and Dawn for reasons he never explained, and it stuck. Their grandparents use their given names, and basically no one else does.

He was born in Ishgard. I have thought a lot about his family and where they were in the Ishgardian hierarchy, but I am being BRIEF, so suffice to say, the fanciest of his relatives is his maternal grandmother, who was a knight in service to house Haillenarte.

His father is a spearman, and when Dusk and Dawn were eight or so, he began to train them how to use it. Their mother, a chirurgeon who was starting to break under the strain of being a healer in a Forever War, was still taken by surprise by how visceral a negative reaction she had to this. After talking it over with her husband, they began to plot an extreeeeemely slow desertion from the city. The timing turned out pretty good ... they were finally intending to leave for good when the twins were ten (who had no idea, of course) and during their very last trip outside of the city as a sort of dry run ... the Gates closed, and they couldn't go back, even if they had wanted to.

Dusk never thought of himself as not-Ishgardian, in spite of spending so much more of his life outside of the city than inside it, and he understands why his parents left, even if it was confusing and scary at the time. Unfortunately, part of why it was scary was ... they had fled to Gridania. I have a lot to say about his adolescence being spent in pre-Calamity Gridania and the stresses involved, but suffice to say ... sure, there were no dragons trying to kill them, but at least the dragons were somewhat predictable. The elementals were not.

Dusk and Dawn's parents never wanted them to have to fight, even though their father did continue their training with spears. Just in case. After the Calamity, the twins travelled to Limsa Lominsa. The plan had been for Dusk - who was already a fairly good carpenter - to train as a blacksmith there to supplement his skills. Dawn, a botanist, went with him for company, and just to spread her wings a little, the Calamity giving her an urge to travel while she could. Neither intended to adventure, although they were certainly dressed the part, the whole family still in the habit of being Ever Vigilant. None of them want to be caught unarmed when shit hits the fan, if you will.

As a result, though, while they were bumbling around the city trying to figure out who to even talk to, H'naanza spotted them, and thought they were new adventurers. She called them over and asked them to kill some wharf rats. Dusk agreed to it without correcting her, which made Dawn feel too awkward to correct her herself, and it all kind of spiraled from there.

It all worked out, at least.

I generally follow canon as far as his actual WoL career goes, filling in headcanon in the spaces the narrative itself provides. The biggest 'change' that isn't really a change regards his twin. Dawn, who also has the Echo, did not want to be a Scion, but she is extremely protective of her brother. So when it makes sense in my mind for her to be around, being very clear she is helping him and not the Scions, she's there. The big exception is Shadowbringers ... she's stuck at home and hating every second of it.

He was 30 when the Calamity hit, and was 35 when ARR began. I'm a one expansion = one year person ... except again for Shadowbringers, which in the Source timeline I think of only having happened in a couple of weeks. Which means he'll be turning 40 when 7.0 hits, I'm sure he's excited.

[cosmicgardencreative]

Vindictus - F2P Action MMORPG & Why We Love It

Hi all, it's been a minute since Ismaire and I got to let our hair down, so I'm just gonna take a sec to share my love of Vindictus. 

I don't always talk about how a game is underrated, but man, I will stand by Nexon/DevCat's first free-to-play action MMORPG. I've heard many people put it down for how "unoptimized" this game is. I'm not a PC gamer, but I feel that with today's technology, you can definitely play this game on today's graphics standards. 

Obviously this isn't a comparison to the new Vindi in development, but I'm just impressed to see how far this MMO has come.

PaikMyungJin (left, Evie/Choi) and Ismer (right, Lann/Ismaire) make a comeback to Vindictus in 2024.

The game can overall feel pretty simple and low-graphics to some, but frankly, I just see that as the dev team being smart with their resources. The only hang-up I can think is if you have a slow internet connection, it might be a difficult game to play with others, but it's pretty solo-friendly for the first 2-3 seasons. 

Kinkoku (left, Sou/Ismaire) wondering what Biseuri (Sylas/Haegi/Choi) is thinking about.

I'll have to do a separate post that goes into the game's history. There's so much that could be said when the game first rolled out on October 13, 2010 for the US release. Izzy and I dating coincided with us finally having a game we could play together, since a lot of console games weren't prioritizing couch co-op as much (except for Resident Evil 5-6). [[On a separate side note, I just realized where our points of influences could be traced back to about here. All the more reason why we just love some of our old fandoms...]]

The nice thing about Vindictus is that you can play it solely with a keyboard (our preferred controls), a mouse + keyboard, or a gamepad. The game is pretty versatile for people with preferences. Most of the characters respond pretty well to the keyboard controls. The few that I noticed were difficult to maneuver in combat was Kai with his bow and crossgun, and Hurk with his teide (sword + shotgun combo), more for precision reasons than anything. Ultimately, do what's comfortable for you!

Alts, alts, and more alts!

Yes, this game will make you play so many alts. And it's worth it. I find this comparable to FFXIV's multi-job branches that your WoL can unlock, but instead of it all stockpiled to one character, you have multiple MCs with various backstories and even special connections to one another! This game being so lore-heavy actually deserves to have multiple characters for the player to explore with. You'll find over time that you'll catch some things you didn't think about from your first playthrough, and it'll just hit you differently... 😭 

Kiena (Fiona/Choi) slicing through enemies.

BradieHU (bg left, Charon/Izzy) and Lycapollos (fg right, Achel/Choi), hecking over a Kobold commander.

PaikMyungJin firing her lasers at a laser cannon/golem.

Ismer slipdashing past the lasers for the finishing kill.

Can't guarantee great screenshots 100% of the time, but the more you play, the better the chances :) 

______________________________________________________________

Final thoughts:

Being a casual player, I personally can't give a testimony on how the overall MMO culture is like in Vindictus nowadays. We did have a generally good experience since we weren't the types to go ham about stat comparisons and just genuinely want to have fun. You'll likely run into cool people as long as you're a nice and polite gamer. But of course, we weren't exempt from being driven away by guild dramas, which then later caused us to have an on-and-off hiatus from the game since 2014...  (wow it's a decade already...) Just be prepared that you may get inundated with a lot of female characters in very... curvy skins. Some of the costume/outfitters come with special enhancements, and Vindictus really doesn't hide the fact that it's a rated-M game 😳🪭 Personally it does shock me, but at the same time, props to people who aren't afraid to flaunt it 😂

Moonglitter (Eira/Izzy) not afraid to flaunt her "All Curves Revealing Off Shoulder Set". 

Because there's so much content to push through, DevCat did their due diligence in balancing the first 3 seasons of content with gear that rewarded for progressing. If you do appreciate a little bit of a challenge, though, I recommend keeping on the lowbie gear till you know you need the damage boost. And if you ever find yourself not liking the aesthetics, the game is usually good about giving you aesthetic coupons for you to "rent" through events and the AP shop. 

As far as solo/duo-ing experiences go, Izzy and I were able to catch up to Season 3 on our own. We found that we're not able to go through Redeemers currently, but I'm curious to see how well we might be able to duo the battles soon as we're properly geared from endgame :) I'm only hesitant to pug with others because we're not sure if our internet connection could handle a crowd of 2+ external connections. But then again we're working adults who pay for good speed so maybe? lol 

By the way, you get to choose two paths of either a Dark Knight or a Paladin:

Scaley Edgelord

Shiny Sparkle Knight

Thanks for taking the time to read my little appreciation post for Vindictus. If you're another Vindi-fan, feel free to comment on your experience here! Vindictus/Mabinogi Heroes is such a niche fandom, so I'd be happy to chat with others who love the gameplay and lore ^_^ I'm very inclined to share some Vindictus fanart in the near future, so let's have fun!

[eemamminy-art]

desire, failure, guilt, hate, and heartbreak for whichever oc you like~

I'm going to answer these with a few different OCs, since different OCs come to mind with the prompts! It'll be long so let me put a read more cut! Also please proceed with caution as this dives into some very dark and heavy topics (thought not in great detail).

oc asks: not-so-nice edition

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

This question makes me realize that a lot of my characters don't really have big lofty dreams, at least not in the present. I think some of them have backstories with big dreams, but otherwise they're just getting by.

Mal, my stardew valley OC, might be the best suited for this question. He really craves love, community, and family. He was an unwanted child, so his mother made damn sure he knew it, being very cold and then having bursts of anger and verbal abuse. He was close with his grandparents but only could ever see them sparingly, but he built up this fantasy in his head of living with them on their farm and being a happy little family. He does inherit their farm when they die and drops out of university and basically throws away all he's been working toward up until that point in order to move there, but he quickly finds that the quaint little community he remembered as a child isn't quite what it seems. So even in attaining what he thought he wanted, it still takes a lot of work after that to build up a home and community that makes him feel loved and like he finally belongs somewhere.

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it? & guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Putting these together because they tie together really well for Cam, my fallout OC. When he was a teenager, he went on his first job with an older girl he considered a friend, a mentor, and a bit of a crush, Nerissa. She worked for a caravan as a guard, and Cam had been practicing his sharpshooting for a while and was going to ride along.

There was a raider ambush and it was a total slaughter. He choked in the moment and just froze, then hid, and continued to freeze. He watched people die gruesomely, and as something truly horrible was about to happen to Nerissa he ran. He ran so far he didn't settle down anywhere until he had reached the other end of the country several years later.

It messed him up pretty deeply. He fell deep into alcohol, took to cannibalism to survive and found he kind of liked it, which added another layer of guilt to his already guilty conscience. It gave him a complex about women, the thought of ever being with a woman after letting Nerissa be tortured and presumably killed made him feel like he never had the right to ever love any woman. Just haunted by his actions that day, forever.

It's something he does eventually work through, but not until over a decade has passed, and along the way he was as self destructive as possible. He's bi so he would only ever sleep with men during that time and would let them be just horrible to him, he never allowed himself to get close to anyone, he numbed the pain with liquor but often found his guilty conscience kept him awake at night. He'd throw himself headlong into danger because he felt he had nothing to lose, but always, always that survival instinct would kick in and he'd use whatever dirty tricks he had to in order to make it out alive.

Boy has had it rough lol I think even when he starts working through all of that trauma finally, it takes a very very long time for him to start to forgive himself and be kind to himself.

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Unsurprisingly, my wol Leigh hates the Garlean empire. He was born in Ala Mhigo and was forced to seek refuge in Ul'dah at a very young age like so many others. His parents were of Ala Mhigan and Doman descent so he had double the baggage when it came to hating the Garleans too. He was robbed of not only his home, but his family, and the chance to ever see his parents' homelands for the better part of his lifetime.

It becomes a little tricky for him, since his story is a little bit canon divergent and there are some Eorzean nations that ally themselves with Garlemald, and he has no choice but to work with them at various points. He has to watch his tongue, which is one of Leigh's worst skills lol he always speaks before he thinks, and has struggled to keep himself from getting into a political incident by speaking his mind about the empire.

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

I think all of the three I wanted to write about here have faced heartbreak of some kind or another.

Cam: I already mentioned above about Nerissa, but he went through some further heartbreak later on too. He got into a several months-long situationship with a guy who had a jet problem, and although it wasn't great it was the only companionship he'd ever really had. So when that person ultimately suffered an overdose eventually, it honestly devastated him. In his grief he cannibalized a good bit of him, in some bid to keep a part of him with him. :')

Leigh: He tried a little bit of dating in his youth but nothing ever really panned out. He and his best friend tried kissing one another but there was no spark, so they managed to keep things amicable after that little bit of experimentation together. He did end up getting into a relationship with the son of a wealthy businessman in Ul'dah, but the class divide and Leigh being an Ala Mhigan unbalanced the relationship dramatically. To keep up appearances, his "boyfriend" would ridicule him in public, treat him like the scum of the earth, but then lavish him with gifts and praise in private. It really messed with his self esteem and sense of worth, and gave him a disdain toward the rich.

Mal: I think this is not nearly so extreme as the other two, but Mal's heartbreak centered around his sexuality. He's interested in men but he's asexual, so in high school he had gotten into two relationships which both ended up with the other boys mocking him and rejecting him for it. It gave him a bit of a complex, and now he's somewhat self conscious about his body, since those boys referred to it as being "broken" for not reacting in the way theirs did when it came to intimacy.

[tenuuchlegch]

Okay, to start off what I especially love about Odtsetseg's and Estinien's dynamic, is mainly how it developed in the HW expansion. You see, my wol is no melee dps thus she did not go through the lancer/dragoon quest line like others did. Rather the post-ARR scene is where they were first introduced to one another, and from that point they kind of unintentionally helped with breaking some biases they had towards the other's culture or people. Both parties came from worlds/settings that were historically at odds after all. From the moment he stepped in that door though, xaela found herself intrigued by this seemingly aloof fighter. It was not love at first sight mind you, but she did feel he was more skilled than others so there was a near instant respect there.

Then they traveled to end the Dragonsong war, while au ra felt she could do nothing with that situation involving the eye, there were some attempts made to take his mind off it and enjoy the simple moments. They may have been brief or some even unsuccessful, but auri woman figured it would be better than to have his mind be so clouded all the time.

Then he info-dumped his whole tragic backstory to all of them and Odtsetseg was shocked. Despite all her past experiences, xaela never once considered that she would encounter an Eorzean who... at least had a very solid idea of her pain. It was a revelation that kept her up late that night, playing the morin khuur in a mournful tune. I'd like to think that Estinien approached her as well and she actually started talking about the fall of her tribe for the first time with him. This was such a big step for her, because up until that point she never really talked about it or her past in general. There was just so much pain behind it, she did not know where to begin.

I would like to think it was at this moment that there partnership/friendship truly cemented, as they became a 'ride or die' duo would go through hell and back in order so they may not face further tragedy. Odtsetseg even cracked a jest when she saw the dragoon's face for the first time. Gasping dramatically, before saying "Estinien, you are beautiful!"

Now for Stormblood. While the two did not canonically have direct contact with one another, I do think Estinien may have been encouraged by Odtsetseg's friendship to check out the steppes more. The dragoon also frequently preoccupied former Hotgo member's thoughts, though she did not think much of it at the time.

As for post-ShB, when I tell you Odtsetseg was both surprised and relieved to see the dragoon again. She was just dealing with so much stress, with Elidibus shenanigans, the scions' safety and the whole debacle with Emet Selch weighing heavily on her mind, it was a lot. So seeing such a familiar and friendly face made her overjoyed. She even tackled-hugged the elezen before he exited Mor Dhona, in happiness. Naturally, she was completely onboard with him becoming a Scion and was really impressed with how he handled Tiamat.

Then there came EW and OH BOY- did those feelings hit her like a truck. Even if he was fairly new to the Scions' whole situation, his perspective was such a nice change of pace for her compared to all the trauma/chaos ensuing. That particular night in the Baldesion annex is when she finally realized 'oh crap. I have a thing for him' and it only got worse from there. She was devastated, when Estinien disappeared at Ultima Thule. However she could not let despair overtake her, so au ra merely shed silent tears as she squeezed Alphinaud's hand. Luckily, things worked out in the end.

It was during the whole void arc post-EW that Odtsetseg got into the mindset of "I need to ask this man out once, or I WILL die." Even if he says no, Odtsetseg figures it's better than to let these... feelings she developed fester.

[stormbabylore]

Look at her precious little shocked Pikachu face. ♡(◕‿◕๑)

I finally finished my first HW relic grind, and the plot for this really tugged hard on a key thread of Aeryn's backstory. I need to muse about it... So it's oc lore dump time! \o/

Spoilers for the HW relic weapon story, but that's it!

A quick tl;dr of Aeryn's story, pertinent to black mage:

Aeryn's soul is fused with the remnant magic of the star from her past life. It functions a bit like a shell, "protecting" her, but also blocking her access to the magic of the Source. This prevents her from doing most types of magic without significant effort.

In canon, Aeryn just lives like this, unable to do magic except in extreme circumstances. But in black mage AU, she works with the thaumaturges to disentangle her soul and the "foreign" magic (they none of them realize what it is), enabling her to both access and better utilize magic on the Source.

The disentangled star magic does not disperse. It lingers, greatly enhancing her newfound magical abilities, but also overwhelming her natural senses - especially her sight. Despite this, she takes to magic use with inexplicable ease and turns almost exclusively to magical combat.

Aeryn later channels most of the lingering star magic away during the finale of the StB class quest. The yellow in her hair fades as a result, and she is able to see without magical obstruction once again.

I thought that would be the end of it - that Aeryn-as-Black-Mage would no longer have her connection to her past life or her star following Stormblood. But rolling through the HW relic quests and awakening a new being connected to the WoL through their aether/soul/weapon got me thinking:

What if, in Aeryn's case, the soul she helps give voice and form to is what little remains of her star? (✧_✧)

The connection the anima feels towards the WoL and its desperation to get stronger so it can help/impress/protect them is very reminiscent of the headcanon I have about Aeryn's past connection with her home star and how it "saved" her in its/their last moments. Other than the timeline itself (and the suggestion that other warriors with similar experiences might likewise be able to connect with anima), nothing in the relic quest lore really breaks that theory.

And I'm casually obsessed.

Probably going to shirk the timeline and work this into Aeryn's black mage story, some time following Stormblood. Perhaps she needs a new weapon at that time. (The Stormblood class quest could feasibly have destroyed her existing weapon. Yeah, going with that.) I just love the circular notion of this: Aeryn's star dying in such a way that she was able to be "reborn," but then in turn being "reborn" itself in the form of an anima so that the two can learn, grow, and travel on together.

;-; Yes, this makes my heart is happy. I shall accept this headcanon. It shall be mine.

[isayoldbean]

i've been slacking a bit on posting @woltourney propaganda for several reasons, mostly because i've been dealing with like 127 million projects irl, but! today i have returned to deliver an Exclusive lore drop that i haven't talked about much anywhere else yet!

please note that this involves major spoilers for shadowbringers and endwalker so please proceed with caution beyond the cut

that's right folks. it's the huge beef azem reveal!

tbh, beef Hates the idea that she is a shard of azem. she hates the thought that she could be so awesome only because she's actually somebody else instead of who she's always known herself to be. because of that, i've generally not really put any thought into her life as an ancient for the most part.

however, the fact remains that her past life as azem is an important factor in her story as a whole, and also has a bearing on how she became the person she is. and so, that being said...

please welcome dionysus into the world! (i don't have crimes installed on my computer so please pardon my having to use vanilla cc to show them off)

in addition to holding the seat of azem, they are also hythlodaeus's sibling! they are the pastel genderfuck twins who like to cause problems for emet. the two unicorns that harass emet's charlie the unicorn into going to candy mountain, if you will.

dionysus and emet definitely have a wlw/mlm hostility thing going on but it's mostly affectionate. can't be too mean to hythlo's boyfriend after all!

also on a classical/educational note, the mythological figure of dionysus is just. absolutely the perfect match both for azem and for beef! he is known primarily in modern times as the god of wine and grapes, revelry, and pleasure, and also for his connection to bacchanalia festivities, but there is actually much more to him--most of his stories involve him spending time traveling abroad, and then struggling for acceptance when he finally returns home. which is just extremely azemcore all the way around, and also pretty accurate for beef as well!

not only that, but there are many stories about him being killed/dying and getting resurrected, which is apt not only for the metaphor of azem's sundering leading to the eventual birth of the wol, but also for beef, who very much has the whole undead/zombie theming and the backstory of hydaelyn bringing her back from the brink of death so that she can go on to become the person she was destined to become.

also, dionysus was strongly associated with theater, which. considering emet is a Known Theater Enjoyer... hurts a little bit :')

as a final note, you may notice i refer to azem using they/them pronouns. dionysus was said to contain both male and female characteristics, and in keeping with that, beef's azem was nonbinary. i've been hesitant to give beef my own gender identity for various reasons, although i suppose it's still potentially on the table for her, but i have no such reservations about doing so with azem! perhaps one day i may also decide to take the plunge with beef, but in the meantime, this is a happy medium for me.

i hope you enjoyed this little peek into the deep Huge Beef lore! i'll be back with some more propaganda tomorrow :3

[myrfing]

did I talk about little ladies day 2018 this year yet. ok so in 2018 there's was the little ladies day event quest right and it was the songbirds performing and stuff and that's when the cheeronjumpwave emotes were released just fun idol stuff. when you finish there's a mostly rewardless (confetti) sidequest called "untended dreams" where you find a little girl who looks kind of apprehensive and lost and she tells you she lost her keepsakes and is worrying about them too much to watch the concert for the festival she's always wanted to see. so you go out into the thanalan wilds and its one of those no quest guide look at pictures and search quests and you find them washed up on the edge of that circular basin all rusty & return them to her and she says this:

and then your wol, smiling, just like. rolls with it without a word and kneels before her in front of a cherry tree like a seneschal would and she's surprised for a moment before rolling with it too, happily saying,

and she laughs and asks you a final favor to take her keepsakes to a man living in that fishing village near Horizon before leaving. as you both walk away she turns back around and...

you catch her words and turn around as well but there's nobody there. I MENTION THIS BECAUSE this is stupidly integral to the direction I went with gourd's character because of this moment of unabashed kindness the wol shows here and how happy it made this random girl. also you learn that she died a long, long time ago, kidnappers took her to the basin and killed her there on the day of the same festival. so that's where the whole gourd always trying to provide solace to people who "can't go home" as he can't sort of....began? where the backstory of him wandering for a few years around eorzea not outwardly tormented and enjoying the land and company of others but sort of being a like a ghost stuck in a point in time, mostly observing, comes from. and. the reason why he accepted hydaelyn the way he did is. IT'S *shaking my claw hand* IT'S RELATED AND well. ok he thought hydaelyn would provide the "guidance" he lost yes but he also thought hydaelyn was lonely and that hydaelyn was the world and that he should approach hydaelyn the same way he approached her without caring if she was just an apparition or not. and that he could play a role like he did here as the "seneschal" again but as her champion IM NOT JOKERING THIS RANDOM EVENT SIDEQUESTTHAT PPL CANT EVEN PLAY NOW IS SO FOUNDATIONAL TO THE BASIS OF HIS CHARACTER

[oathofpromises]

Herein I commit the chronicle of the traveler. Shepherd to the stars in the dark. Though the world be sundered and our souls set adrift, where you walk, my dearest friend, fate shall surely follow. For yours is the Fourteenth seat—the seat of Azem.

I thought about making an official post about this for a bit and know that other wol also have similar thought that the wol is reincarnation of Azem. I do love this because it allows us to add so much more to our wol stories.

It's important to note that the backstory I have for Azem Stella goes a bit off canon, but mostly diverging into my own thing for her. A lot of Azem backstory is a mystery aside from small hints we get throughout Shadowbringers and Endwalker. The biggest one is when people refer to wol as looking very similar to Azem. They will always refer to Azem as either a man or woman depending on the gender of your wol. I thought long and hard what I wanted Stella version of Azem to look like and after some debate eventually came up with this.

When the way forward is hidden even from the mind's eye, look not to the invocation, but within yourself. These were the words of the crystal's original bearer.

I do want to cover Azem history before Final Fantasy XIV, as we know the seat of Azem used to be held by Venat, who didn't return to the aetherial sea after completing her duties. The next Azem was Venat's friend and  protégé, who is noted being less than half Venat age when they first spared. This is mentioned during the main story quest where wol spares with Venat, who seems to know that the Warrior of Light is reincarnation of her friend.

Azem is also confirmed to be friend with Hades, also known as Emet-Selch and Hythlodeaus. As someone who tended to solve problems they fan into without seeking counsel or approval from the other Convocation members. This caused them to become quite a problem to their fellow Convocation members. A lot of Azem Stella Story runs same as much of what is revealed in the game. One thing I do want to point out is Azem opposed the Convocation's plan to sacrifice Elidibus and sacrifice their own people just to advert the final days.

It was during this time that Azem's soul and being were split into fourteen by the sundering, the ultimate result of Hydaelyn and Zodiark's battle. It was because they were against this plan that the Convocation considered Azem unworthy of having their memories preserved in a constellation crystal like the other members. It was only because of Emet-Selch acting behind his brothers backs did he create Azem's Crystal and imbued it with his friend's signature incantation, the ability to summon allies from a far. Which as we have seen the Wol has used multiple times to call fourth other Wol's from afar to assist them in various battles. It's stated that the greater part of Azem's soul would be reincarnated as the Warrior of Light, while the First's fragment would be Ardbert. It's why our Wol was able to see Ardbert when he visited them as a ghost. It is also why Ardbert was able to help stop the light progression in the final fight with Hades. Ryne makes a mention after better that Warrior of light soul is healed, which we can assume supports theory that the Azem soul in Ardbert merged with the Warrior of Light's soul.

Anyway, for my Azem backstory like stated it follows a lot of what is stated above aside from the fact that I do head canon that it was during this time that Stella Azem met and fell in love with G'raha's Ancient. I know a few people have thought of a similar thing but this relates to my overall story that they meet and fell in love with each other no matter what life time it is. First being before FFXIV, the next with Mako and T'sori and finally Stella and G'raha. They have a powerful love that surpasses time itself and keep meeting each other. It also adds to angst part of story when they are separated by fate.. I am a sucker for reincarnation stories and since ffxiv pretty much confirmed it is possible in this universe I am running with it.

I do also like the theory that Emet and Azem cared deeply for each other maybe more than friends but this would depend on the writer. I am up for writing any ships with Azem-Stella as long as writer and I build on that dynamic and follow the rules I have for shipping. Would love to write stuff prior to the final days too. I see so much cute stuff related to Azem and their time with Venet, Emet, and Hythlodeaus.

[blindingspark]

Solace

The night before the nadaam proves a harrowing one as the warrior of light grapples with old wounds from their former homeland, though a surprise visitor serves as a much needed balm. Rating: Mature Pairing: Estinien/WoL Notes: This one includes a bit of backstory lore for my wol! With that said... CW for blood, violence and mentions of child endangerment

Spinning, racing, chaotic.

The distress felt within the stray au ra as they paced in the nook they had hidden themselves away in was more than palpable, hands trembling and tail curling tight around themselves. They could scarce look to the horizon- to the entrance to Bardam's Mettle where their trial awaited upon sunrise- without feeling their stomach wrench in response; the trial itself hardly elicited a flicker of concern for them, but rather the beast they were to conquer.

Through panicked breaths sucked in through their teeth, Auri reached to rub their eyes of the dampness welling in their eyes with the moon as their only witness to the display, gleaming and full as it hung high in the sky over the Steppe's rolling plains, nearly offering comfort yet falling short. They attempted to calm themselves by steadying their breaths, Once you've tended to this trial- to this estranged lordling's whims… you can go. Never again do you have to step foot here, never have to worry about seeing another of those feathered abominations again, never again…

A frustrated sigh then left them, sniffling and swallowing down their frayed nerves and finally looking to the landscape around them again… tentatively turning their attention to the jagged chasm they would be venturing through and to the caves, to the roosts. The dredged up memories creeping forth and to the forefront…

—

The world around them was blurry, the young au ra's mind more blearily focused on the warm dampness staining her coat and dribbling down their arm- the torn garment framing the gaping wound upon their shoulder. The sight of exposed bone was enough to make her belly turn, whimpering as they buried their face in the hair of their friend… their friend, she recalled, their only friend… he had found her tucked behind a rock clinging to their arm 'to keep it from falling off', and now ran as fast as his little legs could to carry them- to safety of the Ura tribe's village, calling out to the adults who kept watch along the perimeter,

"Someone help! Kiyo- she's… she's hurt!" Their friend yelled, though the younger au ra could barely lift her head to see that he had carried them all the way home. The concerned mutterings and gasps of the other tribe members faintly reached them, the only voice clearly coming through was that of a grown man, approaching the two children and kneeling down beside them.

Kiyo groaned and looked up to see the older au ra's face contorted in agony, recognizing the blurred figure as her father as he drew close,

"Oh, my little gem… what happened to you?" He whispered, reaching to carefully scoop her into his arms and holding her close- a new dampness soaking into her hair as he trembled and wept. 

"S-some of the other kids… I think they dared her, Kiyo was over at that Yol nest…" the boy muttered, pointing to the cliffs in the distance, "I saw them go there earlier, but I thought it was a bad idea and didn't go with them- I'm really, really sorry-"

"You saved our little one, you don't need to apologize…" another voice spoke up- Kiyo's mother, her features etched into a conflicted scowl as she looked to the yol roost, her voice tense when she spoke next, "We need to tend to her, where's the healer?"

An older auri man waved, approaching with his satchel of herbs and remedies, "I came as soon as a commotion started- 'tis not often we get the little ones yelling when they return to the village," he said, approaching the father and carefully kneeling down, reaching to gingerly examine the auri child and speaking gently, "Now, let's see…"

The young boy inched closer as the healer tended her wound, his own tail drooping and turning his attention to the father, "Do you think she'll be okay…?"

The older's mouth pressed to a firm line, gaze settling on the young au ra and struggling to maintain his hopeful demeanor, nodding in spite of his worries, "Aye… she'll need time, but she- she's a strong one, always has been."

His tentative confidence wavered as Kiyo's uninjured hand gripped his shirt, whimpering into the fabric as the healer did his work, the flow of blood seeming near-endless despite the mending…

—

As if snapping back into the present Auri's gut turned anew at the memory, that fateful evening that would have claimed them were it not for their only friend at the time; they could recall the unnerving sensation of torn flesh and bone, the way their head swam at the steady trickle of blood from their being, the way they had consigned themselves to passing into the embrace of the gods as they bled-

The mage turned and braced themselves against the rocky cliff face, their dinner spilling onto the grass and leaving them gasping for breath, spitting out what remained and cursing themselves for letting their guard down and agreeing to come here-

"Seems you're in no shape to be traveling if you can barely keep a meal down." a sudden voice, gruff and familiar, spoke up behind them; the au ra stiffened, looking over their shoulder and lingering as they gawked in disbelief,

"Estinien…?" They managed on a hoarse whisper after a too-long pause, seeing his head tilt slightly,

"You didn't seem the type to reminisce about your homeland," he replied, stepping closer and looking them over, "Though given your current state, it's a little more complicated than that, isn't it?"

The mage turned to face him slowly, brows furrowed and studying him as though he would disappear into thin air, "Esti…" their expression turned to a pained look, voice cracking when they spoke, "Where were you?" 

His own expression hardened this time, jaw clenching as he sought the best answer, loosely crossing his arms and letting his gaze fall to the ground,

"I felt it best to take my leave for a time after recovering from Nidhogg's influence- to reflect and make amends where I could," the dragoon began, looking them over again, "But I neglected to let others know of my whereabouts, it wasn't necessary-" a slight wince this time, upon seeing the unwavering look the mage held him with, "I didn't feel it was necessary, though I'll work on apologizing proper at a later time… What are you doing here?"

Silence accompanied their lingering stare, eventually losing what little energy they had and sighing, reaching to fidget with the seams of their gloves, "I did not come here of my own volition, to start," murmured Auri, looking to their surroundings and settling on the Dragoon again,  "I feel it may be best to discuss this away from the cold."

Estinien opened his mouth to speak, then closed it as the mage turned on their heel to have him follow, leading him to the outer edge of the nearby settlement and ducking their head as they entered one of the spare yurts, silently going about stoking the campfire within.

It was a long moment before Estinien would find his words, 

"Not of your own volition, eh? I had heard about a scuffle in Yangxia a few days past, and given the details it seemed the sort of mess you usually find yourself dealing with."

Auri paused in the midst of removing the more cumbersome pieces of their garb, gaze fixated on the nearest beam and feeling their tail instinctively curl in thought, "Ah… Aye, I accompanied one of my companions on an impulsive assassination attempt knowing the Crown Prince was visiting Doma," they said, "A rather fearsome devil, I can understand his reputation- but it was suggested we… come here. Seeking the aid of the locals and finding someone of importance as well."

This time their teeth grit, wringing the strap of a harness they had been wearing, "My stomach is wrenched every which way- I do not wish to be here but I cannot stand to see the people here used for another's gain just so he can force their favor, they are still my people and were left well enough alone until that spoiled lordling took it upon himself to-"

"Auri." 

They winced, then looked to their companion, a hopelessness peeking through in their voice, "I cannot handle being here much longer but I don't know what to do…" 

Estinien lingered on them briefly before a sigh left him, "You're feeling pulled this way and that all over again, aren't you? Out of control despite what others try to tell you." 

A small nod.

Estinien hummed softly this time, a rather thoughtful sound, 

"You could come with me, have a taste of an adventurers life again for a bit. I turned in my official title while I was bedridden," he said, briefly showing a rather impish smirk,  "Only if you wish it, though."

Auri's gaze remained locked onto him, weighing their options and his newfound proposal and sighing, resuming setting aside the satchels and gear leaving only their armors loose underclothes; 

"I… I want to. I truly do, but…" their hands began to fidget again, "I'm in deep, I think. Too deep to simply run away from…" 

Chewing their lip this time, they studied their companion in the firelight, hoping to glean some clue about what swirled in his mind,

"Could you… could you stay the night? You're welcome to leave come sunrise." 

His brow perked, "A bit lonely otherwise, are we?" 

"More than most realize." Auri said quietly, watching Estinien evenly and noting the faint nod he gave, walking over to the nearby basin and fetching a drink of water, a touch surprised as he then brought the cup to them,

" 'tis mighty uncomfortable to try and sleep with a burning throat, mind you." The dragoon noted, watching Auri nod and take the offered drink, taking a long swig of water and clearing their throat of any remaining roughness after.

The au ra set aside the cup after and sighed, leaning to rest their head on his arm with a thump and feeling Estinien still, silently eyeing them yet hardly daring to move,

"I haven't…" they chewed on their lip in consideration, "I haven't spoken of my childhood, have I? Why I left?"

"Briefly and lightly, I never thought it respectful to push for details you clearly did not seem keen to divulge." He replied, then watching them straighten themselves and nod- the fidgeting of their hands resuming from earlier, 

"Perhaps we could… settle in. I would prefer to not relive the memories for long, but I would…" Auri paused, "It would give more clarity, and after all we've seen and endured so far I feel you have earned the right to know."

Estinien gave a conceding dip of the chin, following his companion to the cushioned seating and taking a moment to remove the more bulky pieces of armor before he settled down, gaze following the mage as they gingerly sat on the edge and appeared to seek where they wished to begin,

"It…" they sighed, reaching up to scratch their head, "When I was about… eight summers old, I took a bet proposed by some of the other children who would frequent Reunion, a rather stupid bet but… a child is often wont to seek approval from their peers."

Their attention lowered to the floor, studying the rugs strewn about as they found the right words,

"I was asked to retrieve something from one of the nearby yol nests- a feather, an egg, really it's such a trivial detail I can barely recall it- and… much to my misfortune, the beast itself had returned before I could escape as intended." Their shoulders slowly bunched this time as they traversed the memory, still staring at the floor, "Admittedly I'm quite lucky the yols talon did not strike as deeply as I had feared, I would have lost my arm completely at such an age otherwise, and bled out had an old friend not sought me out because he worried so."

Idly, their hand had reached up to rest on the massive scar that stretched across their shoulder, clenching their jaw as it faintly ached with the recollection, "It was the final straw for my parents, and when I was healed enough to make the journey safely we settled in Kugane; I helped attend their new shop when I could, but…"

The mage froze as they felt his hand tentatively brush against the covered scarring that trailed down their shoulder to their upper back, curious of such a gesture given his nature,

"It was good of them to do so," he said after a moment, tone unusually distant, "It would have been a shame had you lost your life or your arm, the star may well have never changed were it not for you."

Auri blinked, their cheeks warming at his words, "That's rather lofty praise from the Azure Dragoon, but… I suppose you're not far off," their gaze fell to watch the way he carefully ran his thumb along the edge of marked flesh hinted at beneath the fabric of their shirt, "Despite the heartaches and obstacles, I cannot say I regret this. Not when it has granted me the honor of companionship along the way."

"You should rest, and I'll try not to vanish before you rouse again." Estinien mused dryly, earning a snicker from Auri who then eased more fully as they drifted off to sleep, the deepened rise and fall of their chest indicating their exhaustion had finally won out.

His hand slowed in its careful traversal, nodding faintly as he stewed on their words before feeling them slowly shift to lean against him, freezing as their head rested upon his chest; the silence that filled the space dissipated any awkwardness while the two eased, being only carefully broken with the dragoon adjusting to rest his arm around them,

He turned his attention then to the campfire, mind turning with all he had come to terms with during his tenure away from Ishgard, the realization he had made the last time he had seen Auri gnawing at him most incessantly. Even now, as they rested, he felt the steady grasping claws in his chest to keep such feelings pushed down, they deserve far better than what I could dare to dream of providing, especially now of all times, he thought, hardly realizing the idleness with which he drew his hand along their arm as they slept.

Keeping a renewed sigh of frustration quieted, the elezen propped his other arm upon some of the extra cushions and leaned to rest his head on his palm- letting the comforting warmth of the yurt and company he kept lull him to sleep soon after.

~

The faint acknowledgement of a hand gently nudging them stirred Auri from their sleep, groaning and peeking one eye open to realize the main source of warmth had moved, leaving them curled up on the assortment of cushions and pillows; the aforementioned source quietly going about redressing himself in the pieces of armor he had temporarily discarded, watching as he glanced over at the sound of their grogginess,

"The sun is rising, I thought it best to try and get an early start to the day," he said, seeing them slowly pushing themselves to sit upright and rub their face,

"You stayed…?" They muttered, slowly swinging their legs over the edge of their makeshift bedding soon after and standing, giving Estinien pause in finishing his task,

"...of course. I had said I would try, after all." 

Auri smiled and nodded concedingly, walking to their own traveling gear and readying themselves for the day, on occasion looking over their shoulder to their quiet companion before they made their way over to lightly nudge his hand with their own to get his attention,

"Thank you for last night," they said, "You have a talent for arriving at the right place at the right time."

He chuckled, "Not always, but… consider it my apology for leaving Ishgard without warning."

"Hmmh, and consider it, I will." Auri's smile broadened a bit, lingering a heartbeat too long in the quiet that followed before Estinien shifted from one foot to the other, making his way out of the yurt with the au ra trailing behind him. 

The two were greeted by an early yet clear sunrise, the settlement a few yalms away still stirring from its own collective slumber and giving the two adventurers a little more time; the dragoon slowed to a stop and looked to the mage, his nagging thoughts near shouting at him, say something now or forever hold your peace, I suppose… he thought, noticing how they gave him an inquisitive look,

"Did you forget something? I can go fetch it if needed-" 

"No, no I…" his mouth pressed to a firm line, jaw clenching with the nerves of a fretting boy rather than a seasoned soldier, "There was something I had meant to say- something I realized but did not feel worthy to give voice to at the time, though I had it somewhat found my resolve during my ventures." 

Their attention was now unshakable as they listened, the faint display of their tail curling in anticipation hardly went unnoticed,

"Words are not my strength, I much prefer letting my actions speak for me, but…"

His words trailed off as Auri stepped closer, their usual fidgeting eased as they reached for his nearest hand, carefully grasping it and speaking quietly, "Then let them."

Blinking wide, Estinien considered their request- their gentle command- before leaning to place a tentative kiss to their forehead; he heard them inhale quiet yet sharp, pulling away and opening his mouth to apologize only to feel their free hand reaching up to tug his head back down and pressing their lips to his own.

He froze briefly at the forwardness of his companion, then pulled them closer and allowed himself the chance to express at last the affections he thought himself unfit to pursue, all too encouraged by the way they embraced him in turn. 

When they parted, it was difficult to ignore the way the au ra's cheeks had become deeply flushed, a chuckle bubbling up from them as they smoothed the handful of hair they had grasped, 

"I… Pardon my eagerness, I had just…" they paused, chewing on their lip as their mind now spun, "I suppose time away has given us both the time to… realize."

"Hmh, I suppose so." He replied, a faint smile showing before he gave a cautionary glance to the settlement, "And I also suppose I should take my leave before the others rouse, the sooner you finish your business here the sooner you can leave, aye?"

Auri's expression softened as the realization, the oncoming return to duty, idly squeezing the hand they still held and nodded at his word, "Aye… where will you go?"

His brows perked, "I had heard whisperings of progress in Gyr Abania, might see if I can cause a bit of trouble there until the rebellion catches up."

Slowly they let go of his hand, their fidgeting returning as they lingered on the elezen, "Be safe…. Please." 

A crisp morning breeze rushed past the two, with the dragoon bowing his head as a silent promise and turning to depart, watched by the mage until he disappeared into the Steppe's vast hills before they looked to the distance where Bardam's Mettle resided… prompting them to exhale a calming breath. 

We will meet again ere long, I'll make sure of that.

[autumnslance]

NPC ask: Vrtra!

OK so, remember: I wrote up Aeryn's surprise backstory thanks to FFXIV Write prompts, with a one off in one year, and then the next having the original version of the whole Avengret saga, like 2 months before Endwalker came out. Eventually it all came together in Bearing Sins of the Past, where I added the coda "with any luck, Aeryn wouldn’t have to think about dragons again for a while" because when EW DID hit and I got to Thavnair I helpless laughed, because this woman just cannot get away from dragons for anything.

My own fault for starting playing this game in HW, and then putting a bit of Coerthan in my WoL, I suppose.

Actual answer below cuz I rambled a bit on this one, and added in brief answers for the FC's FF16 AU and my other OCs.

To say Aeryn was shocked to learn of Vrtra and his role in her nation's history is mild; she spent a good few nights thinking back to her mother's stories and the teachings of Thavnair's history and how they see dragons, versus that of Coerthas and what she'd learned of and experienced in the Dragonsong War. It was a decent distraction for a while.

Bit of nervousness too, I mean, how do you look your secret ruler in the eye and say "yes, I'm the one who killed your brother"? Even if his dad and another brother helped. Awkward. Which is also true when around Tiamat and Azdaja, but hey.

But Vrtra is also so different from his siblings; he spends more time with mortals than with other dragons, and so understands them in ways his siblings do not. He has more in common, perhaps, with the late Ratatoskr than the others; Aeryn thinks she'd be pleased by and proud of what her youngest brother has accomplished with Thavnair.

And so Vrtra isn't just another Great Wyrm of the First Brood, and not only the Satrap of Radz-at-Han (publicly, finally), but also...a friend. He's warm, and personable, and understands and uses mortal humor. Not always perfectly; there's still an alienness to him that can seem reserved or even standoffish, and some things he still doesn't understand. But he takes it all in stride and with good intention, and assuming the same from others. He's kind, and caring, and she cannot think of a better defender and leader for her homeland.

And it certainly makes sense as to how such consistency and coordination exists in Thavnair's growth and policies, leading to a fairly happy and prosperous land and people.

Still, Aeryn mostly actually behaves when adventuring with Vrtra, in whatever form. A mostly proper young Thavnairian lady, that her grandmothers would find no fault with while in the presence of the Satrap. Vrtra thought the Scion stories of her being a reckless gremlin in combat were exaggerations...until the Isle of Haam and getting to the aetherfont with Thancred in the party. She really couldn't help herself, it's part of how their relationship works. But she did maybe pouty face puppy dog eye Varshahn to please not mention her behavior to her family at all ever. And again, given he understands mortals, well...even Vrtra doesn't dare cross a pair of Thavnairain grannies!

In the FF16-inspired AU, where Aeryn and Zaine are Dominants of Asura and Daivaidipa, Vrtra was the one who had to wrangle them when they first primed as children on returning to Thavnair. He took the little family in, the Striker siblings (and their mother) becoming wards of the Satrap. Vrtra used his child simulacrums, then adolescent, as they grew, acting as a brother as much as a mentor and guardian. In that AU the bond is much more familial, with the closeness of years and shared secrets and power between them.

Back on Main, Dark Autumn and C'oretta like Vrtra well enough, though Dark is far more comfortable with his Varshahn persona. C'oretta has pestered the alchemists about how the simulacra are made and work cuz it's fascinating. Iyna....just isn't sure at all how to handle actual dragons, especially First Brood, so remains quiet and aloof to cover her awkward, when she has to interact. She also much prefers interacting with Varshahn, but can't quite ever forget what he really is. Still, like the others, she remains polite and to the job, mostly for Aeryn's sake.

[carcharsaur]

posting this here because I hate typing on twitter (¯▿¯)

with aymeric it was moment 1 as soon as he was even being mentioned and then the first actual meeting with him I lost my damn mind. which is extra funny because my wol back then was a vastly diff char than my “main” wol now but the parts that fit with him perfectly are the parts that became kozu. and thus it is written. (caranar/aymeric still has some spice too because of the heretic with the blood of the father of dragons some catholic guilty pleasures shit but I don’t actually ship them it’s just fun. if that makes any fucking sense) urianger was a sleeper cell where in ARR I was like “oh he’s weird I like him :)” and then over the course of HW patches and SB I realized his potential for deviousness and they brought the cryptid factor out and I was in love with him. and funny enough that’s when kozu celluar divisioned out of caranar into his own char (he was a miqo then though lol) AND THEN SHB HAPPENED and it was fucking over for me even though I adore his stupid goggles baldcap having ARR ass. stupid cryptic angsty elf ass

and then caranar and estinien (and sidurgu) didn’t click until late SB when he was finally developed into the version of himself I run with now and how good the SB dragoon (and drk) quests were and realizing that estinien is just a tsundere with how he was hovering over the wol but not admitting it to himself like the fucking ghimlyt dark shit brooooo. cmon

and then g’raha and kozu I didn’t even fully consider the potential of until laaate into SHB patches because it took me forever to connect viera kozu backstory to g’raha’s whole Thing. and then with g’raha and caranar I literally didn’t think about him after crystal tower I thought his ass wasn’t coming back though the eureka mentions of him made me go aww :( and then the pre-shb speculation started and I went catboy mode. though I love g’raha/meteor/wol in general with caranar specifically I’m not sure how to categorize him still tbh but caranar is definitely soft on him/fond of him because he’s also The Self Sacrifice Guy