#i freaking want to but WE ARE STILL IN A PANDEMIC.

[crypt-void]

So I have this bit, right? It's been a while since I've done it, but if I bring it up with my friends, they can still easily understand or remember the joke.

It's called the Dan Rules. It's often comedically egotistical and vain and was made because out of our little group, it was a joke that I am (as an act) an eccetric (maybe enigmatic if I'm feeling fancy) person who does whatever the hell I want.

If people thought to question my behavior, it was often quickly followed with a "that's just Dan" from my friends and easily dismissed. Sure, some of my boldness was probably left over from my middle school years, where I felt I had to lean into my weirdness completely so people would see me more as a joke than a freak.

But then I found myself in a safe, accepting environment, one where the need to bite and snarl and run away never came. I waited a while for it to arrive for me to feel the need to play the part of the fool for my newfound companions entertainment. It shocked me when I was left with genuine love and compassion. I leaned out of self-deprecating humor and completely into the (very obviously joking and fake) role of an egotistical short and angry ruler. For fucks sake we still have the name of the group chat as "Dantopia". I still did the bit to entertain my friends, to keep them laughing at my antics. But this time, it was accompanied by my own laughter. I enjoyed a new sense of freedom it brought.

The Dan Rules came out of when we were messing around, and I'd lean into this foolish king role, and I would proclaim something insane or childish. A popular one was, "Dan is never wrong." Often followed by a warranted scoff.

But the second rule is a good one, I think, one that really shone through as a reminder that I am not now who I was before.

"I do what I want."

I hadn't had much freedom before I met my current group of friends. I was quiet and kept quiet at times. I felt muzzled and chained, and as if I was a dog because someone forced a collar around my throat and pulled me on a leash.

It wasn't only that I didn't have the choice of self-expression, though. I'd also seen what happened to people who gave too much into reckless. I grew up with the weight of their actions carried on my shoulders, and while I have always been bold in my identity and beliefs, I was quiet and still when presented the opportunities to escape from situations where people kicked me down for who I was. I feared what would happen if I left my old group. Ironically, this fear led me to be isolated.

I found myself almost completely alone in the pandemic, and my only saving grace was a new school with new people. New people who didn't tell me to shut up or that I was ugly or that I needed to stop acting like an animal or they'd treat me like one. Instead, I met friends who handled me gently and taught me it was okay to hug just as it's okay to bark, and they welcomed me. I felt at home. I felt as if I knew myself completely.

So, with the second rule, which I still follow to this day, I added a private note.

"I do what I want. Because I can trust myself to."

Know thyself

I can trust myself to bark or scowl or growl just as much as I can to love and kiss and hug. I can stay aware of what is and isn't good and how much or how little I can trust someone. I can be bold and loving all at once and welcome others with open arms and flashing fangs.

I am in complete control over myself, and even when I am doing something so I can see my friends laugh, I am also doing it because I can, and I do what I want.

[bitchesgetriches]

Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income

Make more money at the job you have

One of the simplest ways to increase your income is to just make your current employer pay you more. But while it may be simple, it ain’t always easy.

Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion: How To Get Promoted

How I Chessmastered Myself Into a Promotion at Work

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need To Ask for a Fucking Raise

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?” 

The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Salary

Make more money at your next job

All that said, you’re statistically more likely to increase your income faster by job hopping! So if your current employer doesn’t want to pay you more, leave that sinking ship behind in pursuit of a higher salary.

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

When It Comes to Salary Negotiations, Are You Asking for Enough?

What To Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary Requirements in a Job Interview

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?” 

Invest your way to more money

Of course there are some who say the true path to wealth is passive income: when you stop working for your money and instead let your money work for you. And they’re not wrong! Here’s how we recommend you increase your income passively.

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One? 

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?” 

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market 

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets 

Make more money through side hustles

When it comes to side hustles, we have traditionally advocated caution. The last thing you want to do is burn out in pursuit of a second income stream. But with enough wits and fortitude, a side hustle could help you increase your income by leaps and bounds.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

Season 2, Episode 9: “I Use My Free Time to Volunteer. Should I Focus on Making Money Instead?”

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract 

Season 4, Episode 10: “I’m a Freelance Artist. How Do I Price My Work Fairly Without Losing Clients?”

Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out 

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification 

Becoming a Millennial Entrepreneur (In the Midst of a Pandemic) With Katelyn Magnuson 

11 Awful Mistakes I Made as a Self-employed Freelancer, and How You Can Avoid Them

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

What to do when you make more money

Once you increase your income, you might find yourself… not quite bored, but finding you have a little more bandwidth to handle the stuff that matters. It can be a jarring transition! Here are our thoughts on the matter.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 

Season 3, Episode 4: “The More Money I Save, the More I’m Scared To Lose It. Can I Break the Cycle of Financial Anxiety?” 

How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed 

The FIRE Movement, Explained 

I Was Happy to Marry a Poor Man. Then Things Changed.

I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted 

Believing in Miracles: A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art 

I Now Make More Money Than My Husband, and It’s Great for Our Marriage 

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

Advocate for systemic change

We don’t endorse an attitude of “I got mine.” So once you increase your income, there are lots of ways to use your newfound financial breathing room for good! Lift as you climb, my friend. Here are a few ways to do so:

Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester 

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job 

Raising the Minimum Wage Would Make All Our Lives Better

Post a Salary Range in the Job Description, You Fucking Cowards

1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap

The Truth About Unions: What Has Organized Labor Done for You? 

How To Support a Labor Strike with 3 Simple Steps

Everything in moderation

One last thing, my lambs: don’t crush your spirit while chasing the goal of a higher income. Working hard is hard work. If you find these tactics are leaving you exhausted and demoralized, you might be on the road to burnout. And that road leads nowhere good!

That’s why we just released our glorious new Burnout Workshop. Click the button below to take a peek!

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[aritany]

when i was at uni there was this professor who freaked me out SO badly. like i wanted to sit and lurk at the back of his classroom for every class he taught. he was so well-spoken and articulate and clearly brilliant, he got his phD by 22, has a juno award, one of those teachers you really need to like you most out of everyone in the class because you are a normal, well-rounded individual and you do not have an issue with authority figures. you know the type.

anyway, i was last in his classroom pre-pandemic, and i haven’t seen him since. i work at a bookstore now, and he came in today—and he recognized me, despite that my nametag called me something else than what he’d known me as, and i present very differently than i used to. we got chatting (i was being very normal and i wasn’t even flustered and i didn’t fumble with the card reader, what are you, a cop) and i ended up telling him that i have a book coming out next year.

oh yeah, i told him, very casual, it’s about toxic friendships in young girls and how they can affect perception and cause all sorts of problems. he said oh, yes, my daughter had all kinds of issues with that very thing when she was young, and i expressed that i had too, which had loosely inspired the book, or at least the feelings behind it.

“you know,” he said, “the best revenge is to write well.”

then i almost forgot to give him his receipt, and i told him to have a great day but like, in a sincere way, not the way you say it in customer service to every single other person, yes there is a difference, and i helped the next customer, and after they left i did a bunch of little wiggles behind the counter until my boss started giving me the hey-why-are-you-like-this stare.

anyway, i’m still thinking about it. the best revenge is to write well.

i think he’s right.

[certifiablyinsanez]

This post is dedicated to our favorite sexual sacrifice, Emberlynn Pinkle, and why she is an important character even if we never see her again. Let’s buckle in for a crazy character analysis of someone we’ve only seen for 4 minutes.

There are many facets of this short that hold importance, including but not limited to the mysterious pendant, any potential foreshadowing, parallels between Emberlynn and pre-Ozzie’s Stolas, etc. What I want to talk about is the character of Emberlynn herself and what is truly represents.

Many anti’s of the show are foaming at the mouth over her, particularly the fact that Emberlynn is a caricature of the Hellaverse fandom that was created specifically to make fun of us. Funnily enough, many of us who have been in actual fandom spaces are not unfamiliar with people like Emberlynn, and at some point, a fair number of us admit to being like her, which is the main thing I want to touch on.

People watering Emberlynn and the short down to a cheap shot at fandoms and fans of the show is intellectually lazy. It can be seen as a critique of peoples’ own biases considering many of us that have been in fandom spaces have done so for a long time. And it’s funny, because these people have been threatening to doxx fans, harm them, send messages to their bosses to get them fired, to schools so they’d lose scholarships, etc. The kind of people that would order a hit on us in hell…Many anti’s and people who are against cringe culture often participate in it unwittingly. Take for instance, the anti’s of the Hellaverse shows who dedicate entire blogs to picking apart everything from character interaction to even three second frames. They take over the tags associated with the fandom just so they can pump bitter content out, and are actively hostile when fans confront them over their weird behavior. Because fans of Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel are normally not the kind of people who would watch entire seasons, keep up on content and lore, or interact with actors and fandom over something they hate. We would just…not watch it and not interact. And it’s that kind of strange behavior that is intrinsic in fandom. Fandom spaces have forever had a dark side, that much is undeniable, but now more than ever there has been an influx of people unaccustomed and socially unequipped to participate and interact in the spaces that have been infesting it.

I have been in fandom spaces since 2013 and my first fandom was Hetalia. If you know you know. Many people in these spaces have been targeted for being “freaks” for years, but the areas where we have thrived, made friends and enjoyed ourselves was relatively untouched by the “normies”. That’s definitely changed in recent years, especially when the pandemic forced people who would normally socialize in other spaces come to ours. We all remember alt fashion blowing up in 2020 just for people to be finding entire wardrobes of it at goodwill not even 2 years later. And when they came in, they started adding rules and stipulations. They would allow themselves permission to interact with us weirdo outcasts, but only in a way that could give them plausible deniability later when they knew the trend wouldn’t last. They would enter a space that was nerdy and when furry iconography would show up they would whine about furries “making it weird” when it was already “weird”. They would dress and call themselves punk but still think it was important to listen to “both sides”. And when it comes to the Hellaverse, it’s popular, and entering the mainstream via Amazon picking up Hazbin, but if you’re not willing to be critical of its unsavory parts then you’re complicit in things like rape, violence, drug use, etc.

These people have infiltrated our community, which sounds extreme but when I remember it from my teen years vs now, I think these people genuinely would’ve combusted on sight. Like I said before, I was in the Hetalia fandom for many years. If you don’t remember, people were cosplaying as Germany and doing the Nazi salute at cons and concentration camps. It was bad. It was equivalent to our new blackface Alastor controversy. Back then, the fandom handled it ourselves. We all agreed that that was unacceptable behavior, and people would express disgust, but they were also productive. Fans would post about how we needed to realize that there was real history behind this show and that we needed to be mindful when participating in that environment. I saw many cosplayers altering their costumes to be more mindful. Germany cosplayers would refuse to wear iron cross, which isn’t even technically solely fascisitic in nature, but did it anyway because it was seen as respectful. I’ve seen a resurgence of the fandom on tiktok recently and all of us are allowing ourselves to enjoy it, because for years we had to pretend that we were stupid weirdos for liking it to begin with. Fandom has to allow itself to be cringe again, as it has been affected by people that are in an echo chamber of self righteousness and acceptability.

Getting back to Emberlynn, I have hardly ever seen a take off of a character like this. Even when it was shown that Baxter was coming in season 2 of Hazbin I saw maybe a handful of fan arts and videos. But Emberlynn has EXPLODED. I watched the short when it had been out for only 26 minutes, and within the hour my feeds across all social media were full of her.

I genuinely think that it’s because she is the epitome of fandom, where all of our cringe has been rolled into one character. Her self insert name is literally a reference to old fandom. She’s a proshipper, a selfshipper, she gets into shipping wars and has been fighting with people online for almost a decade. She said the pendant was from an episode “569”, which is strange wording because episodes aren’t usually formatted that way in any sort of media, which could potentially mean that she’s watched over 500 episodes of Akuma no Otto. Her room is full of pornographic material, figurines, the BODY PILLOW. I mean come on. Her parents are fully aware that she watches hentai. She was upstairs moaning and crying while interacting with Blitz and being stabbed and her parents did not go up to check on her, nor think it was out of the ordinary. She is pastel goth, a subset of the gothic culture, and writes self insert fanfiction. She’s A MONSTERFUCKER. HELLO?? When everyone in the Hellverse is as hot as they are…come on. When she dies and goes to hell her sinner form has furry influences. All of us love her because even if we were never fully like her (ie stalkerish, obsessive), we’ve been like her in some way at some point, or even now. I write fanfiction. I’m part of alternative fashion and culture. I’ve been into cringe stuff for a while. I’m not necessarily super into furry stuff, but I love the suits, the artistry and even had an idea for an oc once. My profile pic is literally my Sinner OC.

Emberlynn is a return to form for the standard of fandom spaces and I think to those of us that truly embrace the lifestyle, it’s refreshing. She does not exist in the realm of acceptability; she’s fat, intense and unapologetic. And yet, she’s still super hot, funny, and entertaining. We don’t love her because she’s a respectable fan, we adore her because she’s insane. I’m a cofounder of a Facebook group about being fans of the Vees and we all agree that she would actually do well with Valentino, because that cutie needs some disrespectful eldrich cock ASAP lol. It’s refreshing, and even if we never see her again, I still find her completely relevant and interesting.

Emberlynn Light’ness Demonanya Pinkle, you are PRECIOUS.

[greythemed]

𓂃 ♥︎ⴰ bloodhounds . kim gun-woo

˚ TITLE 𓂃 ♥︎ⴰ how is like to date kim gun-woo. ˚ WORD COUNT 𓂃 ♥︎ⴰ 1775.

dating gun-woo was like listening to my love by justin timberlake but the difference is that he wouldn't ask you to be his love bcuz he's a shy boy and would act exactly like only by lee hi

holds the door for you EVERYTIME like it's not even funny how gentleman-ly this man is

first time meeting your family? gun-woo is bringing every dish his lovely mother is capable of preparing in one day because he wants to impress your parents so bad (especially if you come from money while he doesn't) like he is so scared he'll mess something up

LISTENS TO YOU! i think gun-woo would be a good therapy friend but an AMAZING healing-era boyfriend. like family issues? imma suffocate you so hard with my love that you won't need anyone else anymore babygirl.

late-night therapy sessions where you both trade one secret for one kiss because it's cute and vulnerable while laying upside down on your bed and w pinkies intertwined. and if something about the relationship (or smth the other did on the day) is bothering one of you, late-night calls are a MUST - no matter where you are or which time it is.

his only source of relationship advice are guilty kdramas he has watched during the pandemic (when he wasn't punching random henchmen lol) and woo-jin so expect A LOT of misunderstandings from this guy

like one time he thought it'd be cute to surprise you with flowers at your work because he saw it in one kdrama and wanted to do the same but completely forgot you worked at a morgue as a young autopsy so you were horrified for a whole week💀

buys you sweet snacks every time he goes out like it doesn't matter if he's BROKE, he'll bring something for you, and don't bother stressing he'll keep doing the same till eternity no matter what

miss here has a late-night craving? gun-woo is running to the closest store at the darkest crack of dawn to buy you your wish, even if you try to stop him "don't worry, love, i'll be quick" and proceeds to kiss your head while putting his green puffy jacket on and rushing.

honestly let’s talk about that. IT HAS TO GO AWAY. definitely going to be your first gift for him: A NEW JACKET. like give her a break gunwoo-ya, she's not goin' nowhere bestie ✊😔

your 'dynamic trio' is a little stressful at the start. i truly believe woo-jin would test the SHIT out of gun-woo's partner, no matter how much the boxer tries to prove to him you're no threat. like mister mayweather fan won't let you breathe the first time you guys meet, making direct questions like "what are your intentions with my babyboy right here? 🤨" or "if you're planning to leave him someday and brake his heart, i WILL find you"

super-protective woo-jin boyfriend mode is off the instant he finds out you're striving to be a doctor one day and help the world to be a better place and stars are starting to accumulate in your eyes while you talk. (he still threatens you sometimes tho).

after that the DOUBLE DATES' SEASON starts (because woo-jin also has his partner after all) and suddenly your group of friends consists of your boyfriend, your boyfriend's boyfriend, and another unfortunate third wheel caught in their bromance.

he's such a shy baby and you're such a social butterfly girlie so we might have some contradictions about where to go on date nights. like one week is staying in movie nights where you’re all cozy and gun-woo is sleeping at the first five minutes of the movie (“i swear it wasn’t on purpose babe🥺”) and the other is freaking museum rides and “i heard this new place at the mall is SO good we have to try it!!!!”.

but when it comes to physical activities? you’re SO done. like NO GUNWOO I DON’T WANT TO WAKE UP 5 IN THE FUCKING MORNING TO RUN AT THE BEACH WITH YOU😡😡😡. (he dreams of the day you’ll say yes).

watching? maybe. he gets all sweaty and sexy for you, i can imagine his partner just staying there in the corner wrapped in a cozy blanket and eating some snacks while he’s working the fuck out in the garage. like i got you bae don't worry! from right here🧍🏻‍♀️ . and he loves it. 

absolutely adores praising, especially regarding his physic or gym evolution and gets all shy when you do it because “really? have you been payin’ attention to me?🥺”.

really values traditional corny-ass attitudes like protecting your head every time you get out of the car, walking on the side closer to the street, holds hands so he literally doesn’t lose you (it happened one time, you saw a rainbow-y burrito trailer and went for it without even thinking), ladies first always, pays for food when you get out or buys you flowers.

after he and woo-jin took their part of the money, the first thing gun-woo did was open his mom’s café and buy them a house just like mister choi said. he started working out more and working on his physic to maybe try and win one more tournament but he ends up meeting you and your father and meeting so many new people that wanted to take him under their wing 😊.

he literally had to pick which sponsor he’d choose to run for the belt. he got quite famous for jumping two categories in one year and from then on gun-woo made a few winning his pro fights.

he did what he loved so you supported him, biting your nails every time he’d take more than one round to knock his opponent out and cheering with his mom beside you in her new apartment every time the fight ended.

you’re so his passenger princess. this man will be moving mountains to do what you want and he’s so good at it.

on days when he’s more clingy and vulnerable expect this tall man to be glued to you. sometimes when you can’t be reached he will just call you to hear your voice on your break from work and straight hit the gym to soothe his anxiety.

in death’s anniversaries, he’d be the same. would stay silent the whole day if you don’t talk to him because it’s so painful to remember what happened to them all in one day. so you need to be careful and engage him in soothing activities or just distract him respectfully. 

nsfw under 🤗

gun-woo is such a giving person and he wouldn't be different in his relationship. sexually speaking? this man doesn't know where to start. you guys end up having a real conversation about this because gun-woo doesn't know how to enjoy things where he's the benefitted one and only wants to give, give, give. its sick.

it doesn't help the man is fixated on eating you out too. like, honestly he'll die a happy man if it is between your legs. at first, you had to teach him a lot of things (you were basically his first everything, after all) and the boxer took that as a fucking challenge. picture that every night he'd be knocking at your door not even saying hello and going straight to business because "i want to do it right this time, angel. is this okay? am i making you feel good?".

*dies while writing this*

there is a gun-woo before ep.6 and another one after ep.6 and we all know it. but the thing he didn't change was his heart, right? so the boy that watched netflix kdramas with his mom after gym sessions during the pandemic while eating ramyeon is the same man that takes you to bed after a romantic date and not only DOESN'T rush you to do anything but also asks if you want him to sleep on the floor because maybe he'll make you uncomfortable?🥺 and he doesn't want that. (even though you've been dating for ages by now lol)

so when you glance at him asking “bae, what are you doing?” he is stuttering like “sleeping on t-the… floor?” “get your ASS back here mister kim imma teach you how to be a man😾”

honestly, he finds you SO funny that even during sexy time he’ll laugh at your jokes. like genuinely laugh and you’d consequently laugh at his reaction too and then sexy time is gone for the next 10 whole minutes till he shuts you up and goes back to business.

big boy up and down we've all been through that already, right? right.

sometimes it pisses you off that he takes everything so serious and it takes the sparkle away for you. but it’s because everything is so new to him that he feels like he has to be amazing on his first try and it infuriates you.

“you good?” he raises his head and looks into your eyes in confusion. “you’re doing it again, can’t you please just feel instead of thinking for once?” you question and his big round eyes make an appearance. “oh… i’m sorry”. and starts doing it right because in his head, that was also a challenge.🙄

gun-woo is a shy man. while i do not agree when i see people calling him a bottom, he’s not approaching you first babe get over it. gun-woo is the type of man that needs a little “it’s okay i want sexy time now pls” so his key is finally turned and the beast is unleashed. not saying he’s a freak because he’s probably a super traditional guy but you know what i mean.

that drabble i wrote? he needs your okay first to iniciate anything. my man could be busting his pants, fully hard n leaking and won’t even utter a word.

stamina>>> he's an athlete like c'mon

don't expect any replies from this man if you send him nudes in the middle of the day someday. boy will be BLUSHING the rest of his chores forever. and he won't have the heart to stare at you for a whole week if you don't approach him first.

you'd be all "lol you're blushing baby 🤭😆" and he'd be like "why did you do this to me?🥺🥺🥺 now i want you more for the rest of my life and forever".

you cannot say that this man doesn't feel like some of justin bieber's songs (specially company like ok i might have to make a playlist just about him)

i'm going to end this here and let y'all starve.

making a playlist about him after this for safety purposes. i could make this for hours and hours no joke, mom come pick me up pls i'm scared.

[octuscle]

I'm tired of being fat and dateless can you make me a hairy muscle freak who likes having his snake drained if you get what I mean

I'm tired of being fat and dateless, can you make me a hairy muscle freak who likes his snake emptied, if you know what I mean

Well, you're not exactly the catch of the day… Well beyond 300 pounds. It's amazing that you made it to the age of 55 with your blood values. You look much older with your bad skin. Yes, you won't get a date like that… But I'll see what we can do for you.

It's not easy for you to get out of bed in the morning. Neither is taking a shower. You struggle into your jogging suit and sit down at your computer with a box of donuts. Before the pandemic, you were sometimes still in the office. Since then, you've only been able to work from home. You rarely leave the house anymore. What's the point? You take a break after two hours. Dealing with suspected money laundering cases is an annoying job. You drink a large glass of water with a shot of grapefruit juice. And do a few squats and a few press-ups. You've been trying hard to lose weight for two years. You've already lost many kilograms. But the flaps of skin that now hang from your tits and hips are an expensive price to pay. But you feel better for it. But now back to the computer. You get paid by the case.

You have a lunch break with friends. At a vegetarian restaurant a quarter of an hour away. It's raining and at first you wanted to go by car. But you're not a wimp and any exercise is good. So you take the bike. Yes, you look anything but sexy in those rain overalls. But you enjoy the looks when you take it off. You've been training hard and eating healthily for five years. You look quite respectable for a man of 50, even if the sins of the first 45 years of your life still show. But now you don't need to hide among colleagues who are sometimes 15 or even 20 years younger. The food is delicious and it's fun to chat with your colleagues, who you meet far too rarely in the office. It's not easy to lead a team that only works from home. Okay, you're not a good example today, but you try to be in the office as often as possible. If only because you enjoy the bike ride. And because it's close to the swimming pool.

The lunch break took a long time. The afternoon was short. Nevertheless, you finish work at 18:00. You have HIIT at 19:00. At 44, you are one of the oldest participants. But you easily outperform some much younger ones. Your job has been your life for eleven years. But sport is your passion. Giving your all during the day and even more in the evening is your motto. When the course ends at 8 p.m., most of the participants are panting and crawling into the shower more than they are walking. You hit the weights again.

At 11pm, Mike, the gym manager, switches on the emergency lights and turns off the music. Your signal that it's time to end the workout. You are once again the last one on the training area. You pull your T-shirt over your head, drop your pants and post up in front of the mirror. Not too bad for a man in his early 40s. Mike approaches you from behind, hugs you and grabs your nipples. Damn, this guy knows exactly where your on switch is. You're actually a disciplined nerd. But for once you give up an hour of your precious sleep for a good fuck. And if you spend the night at Mike's, you also save yourself the trip to the morning gym before work. So you fuck another round straight away.

Amazing pic found @rickmuscleguy

[hypnofur1]

Porno in Plano

By Hypnofur

“I told him where we live” she said to me quietly as she kneeled there in our rented living room floor. Her eyes were wide and quiet. I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Fucking Democrats” was all I could say.

Ok, I should back up. It was 5:18 on a Thursday in the second week of January…. Actually, I guess I should back up more than that. Abby and I are from New Jersey. Middletown and Long Branch to be specific. We are in our early 30’s, and we are very career focused. Like many young people in our area, despite our budding careers, we knew we had no chance of purchasing a house in the area we grew up in. My company, like so many others in NY/NJ had moved to Texas to get out from under some really crushing tax and regulation weight. Young executives like me were offered bonuses to move out to Texas with them. Abby worked from home post pandemic, so we decided to do it.

So, a year ago, we moved to Plano, Texas. It’s very different than New Jersey. And it’s… well, let’s say it is a lot more Red than most of Jersey. And while I know that it was actually our democratic politicians that raised the taxes and regulations to the point that companies like mine were moving to Texas, Abby and I were still pretty liberal. The fact is, we just didn’t really fit in Plano, or Texas as a whole.

So, how did that lead to Abby on her knees looking at me with a guilty, or scared, or… I don’t know what kind of look on her face? Well, because we were having trouble making new friends, we spent a lot of time together at home over the last year. A lot of time. Too much time. We got bored. Bored of Texas, bored of each other, just bored of everything. We got an apartment right near my office, so I was home from work in like ten minutes. Abby was home all the time. It was just too much together time at home for two newlyweds. That certainly didn’t make things exciting in the bedroom, things were boring there too. It was just a downward spiral of ‘blah’.

Anyway, that lead to a New Year’s Resolution to ‘spice things up’. Abby, a researcher by trade and nature, searched out a bunch of different things that couples were doing. We’re not into crazy freaky stuff, so the spiciest thing we could come up with is watching porn together. We went through the whole process of like, asking each other what we’d be into and so forth. I of course did not tell her what kind of porn I really watched, and had been watching since like middle school. I’m not an idiot. So, anyway, we eventually got some of the most vanilla, boring porn known to man. Even that was a total disaster. The women in the video obviously had huge boobs, and that made Abby feel really self conscious. The porn did the opposite job of turning her on. In fact, she kind of freaked out and proclaimed that she never wanted to come in contact with porn in any way ever again. It was awful. So awful, that we abandoned the whole “let’s spice up our sex life” resolution for three months.

I could tell she didn’t want to completely give up though. Partly because she wanted to make sure our relationship was strong, partly because giving up on anything wasn’t in her DNA. I knew it bugged her. I wasn’t at all surprised when in the next week she told me she had been researching again. Erotic Hypnosis was one subject that she looked up. We decided to give it a try. The first night, I tried to hypnotize her. I swung a pocket watch she had purchased in front of her eyes and read some scripts. It was a failure, a total failure. I was ready to throw in the towel at that point. Abby, however, had now strengthened her resolve, she didn’t want to quit.

The next day, she said we were going to watch an erotic hypnosis video. It was by someone called TexTrance. I don’t know where she found it, or how, but like I say, she is a researcher. So, we watched it. I totally wasn’t in the mood that night, but Abby was in. I’ll admit, overall with the sex stuff.. I was a little nervous that the spark between us had gone as quickly as it did. I mean Jesus, we were only 33. I decided I was in no position to be saying no to anything that could help re-ignite it. So, I cooperated.

Abby played the video link on our big screen tv. The same big screen tv where we had binged every Netlix, Hulu, Paramount, Peacock, and Disney + show known to man over the last year. This TV and couch was like the center of our world, but also, maybe the center of our problem? I don’t know. Anyway, that irony wasn’t lost on me that it was also the location where we were going to try to right the ship, so to speak. As I was thinking about all of this, a swirling spiral came on the screen. It had a slow fluid motion that cycled the color spectrum. Peaceful music began to play through our sound bar. The combination was surprisingly calming.

This guy’s voice came on. I assumed he was the aforementioned TexTrance. I could tell by the hint of a drawl that he was from Texas. I was surprised to find that the simple fact that I heard a Texas drawl wasn’t a dealbreaker for me. I have kind of grown to hate it over the last year, I’ll admit.

It was clear that this guy was experienced though. He had us doing this thing were we squeezed are hands, then released, then squeezed our leg muscles and released, all while watching the spiral and listening to him talk.

I’ll admit, it was relaxing, I felt myself sinking into the couch a bit, my whole body relaxing more and more with each word he spoke.

I was missing some of his words, but I eventually heard him say, "I am deeply relaxed and focused."

I heard Abby repeat it, which surprised me, but it also surprised me that I found myself repeating it as well. Is this too effective? Should I be worried about this working?

"All my worries have floated away… all my fears have disappeared." He said and again we both repeated. That was true, I knew I had been getting worried about something moments ago, but I couldn’t remember what it was. I felt really calm.

"I cannot turn my eyes away… I will not let them close." We both repeated, slowly.

"It doesn't matter that they are so heavy… so tired… so ready to close… the colors are too pretty to watch." At this point, I didn’t repeat, and I don’t think Abby did either. I couldn’t really open my mouth anymore.

"And it doesn't matter that you feel so tired… so sleepy… you must keep your eyes open."

I remember actually yawning. I was feeling so sleepy, as I noticed how rapidly my eyes were blinking.

"So close them… but not yet," the voice said. "You will wait. You must wait until I count down from ten… then, and only then, your eyes will become so heavy that you won't be able to keep them open any longer. When they close, you will feel ten times as relaxed as you feel now… and you will give in to that very sleepy feeling, and fall asleep immediately."

My peripheral vision somehow still picked up Abby nodding her head slowly to that. Was I?

"Good," TexTrance said, "You're doing so well now, and… Ten." I remember my already heavy eyes blinked even more as they began to get even heavier.

"Nine." My mind began to float away.

"Eight."

"Seven."

"Six." The colors began to fade and become blurry.

"Five," TexTrance said. "Background noises are not important… Four."

"My voice is more important, so much more important… Three."

"You can hardly stay awake any longer, with two…" my eyes were almost closed and blinking very rapidly now. "So heavy… so sleepy…" Giving in… only giving in… that's all you can do now, with one."

Next thing I knew, Abby and I were waking up. We both felt INCREDIBLE, and we made love and it was so… electric. It was like every nerve ending in our bodies was like ten times more sensitive it was really amazing. For the first time in a while, the sex was incredible. We were so thrilled.

So, we were happy to try it again the next night, and the night after that, and yes, the night after that. An interesting thing was that we seemed to “go under” more easily each time we watched. Abby did some research, and said that was normal. It was the day after that when the first weird thing happened. I got an e-mail from TexTrance.

The e-mail itself was fairly innocuous. He just apologized for not checking his e-mail sooner, then thanked me for listening, and asked me to tell him a little bit about myself. I couldn’t believe he had my e-mail. That scared me. Then, I looked down the message thread, and realized that I had emailed him. Five times in fact! I looked at the time stamps, and realized it was during the time when we were watching his video. I must have e-mailed him while hypnotized? That was kind of spooky.

Unnerved, I called Abby. “Hi, I just got an e-mail from… our friend that makes the content” I said, not wanting to mention a hypno video or anything, as I was at work.

Abby was at home, so she could talk more freely. “TexTrance, yeah, so did I”

“Don’t you think that’s weird?” I asked.

“I guess, I mean it must have been a post hypnotic suggestion. I e-mailed him that I was ‘completely hypnotized’, but I didn’t send any personal info or anything” she told me.

“Yeah, me too. What did he write back?” I asked.

“It was all fine, he just like, asked about me. He probably just wants to know who is watching his videos.” She said, seemingly unalarmed.

“Did you write back?” I asked.

“Yes. I didn’t like, use my real name and stuff, just that I was early 30’s and married. No big deal.:

“Oh, ok” I said, then I had to go, as I had a meeting. During the meeting, I thought about how I should respond, and did so as soon as I go to my lunch break.

Much to my surprise, I got an e-mail back pretty quickly. Again, it was pleasant. He thanked me for listening, then sent me a link to another file. I texted Abby immediately, and she confirmed that she had received the link too. At that point, our plans for the evening were set.

We watched that one that evening. We both went right out for it. Afterwards, was the great sex . I knew this was… unconventional, but it wasn’t just the best sex we had shared in the last few months, it was the best sex of our entire relationship.

The next morning, I had an e-mail from TexTrance, asking how we enjoyed it. I was more than happy to pay him my compliments. I exuberantly thanked him. He was gracious in his return e-mails, telling me that he was happy we had a good time with it. He seemed like a nice guy. He then asked me to tell him a little bit about Abby and I. I didn’t want to get into too much detail, but I gave him the basics, telling him about the move from the East Coast, etc. He then asked for a picture of us. I hesitated at that point, as I really wanted to stay anonymous in this whole thing.

By the afternoon, he could tell I was stalling on sending the pic. He wrote me and asked if I wanted another file. I did reply to that e-mail right away, and told him we absolutely would, and thanked him. His response back was that this should be somewhat of a two way street, and when I send a picture, he’ll send another file. I sat on that for a bit, and didn’t reply.

As the afternoon went by, I kept thinking about it though. His files were awesome. They were really well done, and the sex afterwards was so so hot. The whole adventure was really helping Abby and my relationship in and out of the bedroom. I had a very very SFW pic of us with hiking clothes and knit hats on. That picture wasn’t such a big deal, I figured I could send that to him and it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Frankly, the sun was behind us in the picture, and it was hard to make out our faces. This wouldn’t be too revealing to send. So, I attached it to an e-mail and sent it off to him.

Sure enough, I got a file back a little while later. I was happy about that, as it was now the night’s entertainment. I figured this is what couples in the 90’s felt like when they scored with a good movie at the video store. Anyway, I couldn’t wait to go home and tell Abby that I got us another file.

However, when I got home, she was there to greet me with the exact same surprise. We both laughed as we thought we were presenting the other with a big treat.

“Well, I have to say, I appreciate you.” Abby said with a kiss on my cheek. “I’m sure you didn’t like taking a selfie, so thank you for doing that in order to give us a fun night.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, “You sent a selfie?” I asked.

“Yeah, that was the ‘price of admission’ so to speak. Didn’t you send a selfie?” she asked.

“Well, I sent a picture, but it didn’t have to be a selfie” I said.

“Ok, well, basically the same thing, right?” she proposed.

“I guess” I admitted, though for some reason, I didn’t feel like it was. It was also odd to me that the request for her would be different than the request from me. I suddenly wondered if our files were different too. I looked at mine. It said ‘Brian custom’ with the date on it. I asked for my wife’s phone. Sure enough, hers said ‘Abby custom’ and the date.

I pointed this out to her, and she did pause. “Do you think it is a big deal?” she asked.

“I don’t know, maybe we should chill for a night?” I suggested, as I kind of wanted to sort this out a bit.

“Maybe…” she said non committally. “But, when you think about it, this isn’t really any different than what we’ve been doing. I mean, I guess we’ll listen with our headphones instead of playing the sound off the speaker of the TV, but that’s about it, right?” she said. It was clear she didn’t want to abort. “Plus, mine came with instructions to use water proof headphones. You have those for swimming, right? I’m very curious as to why I’ll need those. Besides, we always have so much ‘fun’ after” she said with a cute little raised eyebrow and a wink.

That was true, and I had been looking forward to this all day. Also, I still couldn’t bare the thought of just going back to streaming shows at 6:00pm either. I relented, and we did the files after dinner. As per the new usual, I was pretty much out right away, however, what was unusual, is that I woke up from the file before Abby did. I had a raging hard on, which had happened before. I looked over at Abby, she was still deep in trance. Her headphones were on, and her eyes were closed. Her breathing was ragged. She was touching her neck, her breasts, and in between her legs. God, it was so hot to watch. I was so, so hard. I was hoping she would awake soon… which she did, kind of.

Her eyes opened, though she didn’t look my way. She was just looking straight ahead with a vacant stare as she started to get up off the couch.

“Are you ok?” I asked, though I got no response. I then watched as she slowly walked towards the shower. I could tell she was still in a trance. I followed her, of course, with my dick still painfully hard.

She paid me no attention however as she walked into the bathroom, removing her clothes. All with almost no expression on her face. This was strange, but oddly also fascinating, as I was like a secret voyeur, despite the fact that I was right in the room.

I watched as Abby turned on the shower, adjusting the water temperature. As she stepped into the shower, I was aroused, but only half surprised when she adjusted the shower massage to a more pulsating beat, then placed herself lying down in the tub portion rather than standing.

"What is going on?" I wondered aloud to no one, as she most certainly couldn’t hear me. Not only did she still have the headphones on, but she was clearly still deep in the thrall of the file.

Comfortably positioning herself down inside the tub, I watched as she drew her legs towards her chest, spreading them. As the water cascaded down towards her from the shower, it fell in a wildly undulating beat that began to playfully massage her sex. By the look on her face, and the expression in her eyes, I knew that it very… sexually pleasurable.

"Damn!" I exhaled. My cock was painfully hard watching this. Yet for nearly twenty minutes, I watched as Abby allowed the spray of the shower to make love to her as she was lost in the hypnotic haze the waterproof headphones provided. Periodically she adjusted her position, obviously varying the intensity, or perhaps the placement of the stream as it caressed in its own very unique way. As she drew closer to climax, I watched as she reached down, spreading her lips with her fingers even more widely a part than they had been.

For the first time, I heard her speak, though it was difficult as the shower pretty much obscured the sound of anything else as she lay there.

"TexTrance TexTrance TexTrance."

I didn’t like that, but I could also tell by pleasured sighs that orgasm was only moments away. Judging her reactions, as I was obviously aware having seen her climax before, that she was close now, very close. Figuring I was only moments away now myself, I continued pleasing myself, anticipating that I would likely cum when she did. Seconds later, she did that, leaning forward slightly humping the water cock that was assuaging her pussy, once again yelling out the name of the creator of the hypnotic file as she orgasmed hard.

Here’s the problem, I did not. I just couldn’t cum. It was stuck, it was like…I didn’t have permission. I couldn’t believe it. It was the weirdest fucking thing, and I didn’t like it. Meanwhile, Abby was getting out of the tub and drying off, still not paying any attention to me. It was like I was a ghost. Things were getting too weird with all of this shit.

She walked into the bedroom naked, and I followed her with my still rock hard cock. I was hoping she was going to take out the earbuds and say “let’s have sex”, but she started putting on her pajamas. Sure enough, she just went to bed, leaving the ear buds in.

I went to tell her to take them out, and that we were not in sync tonight, but as soon as I saw her head it the pillow, I all of a sudden felt like I had taken twenty sleeping pills. I didn’t even make it to the bed, I collapsed on the floor next to it, not waking until my alarm went off in the morning.

Abby was still sleeping when I got up, but that was very typical for us. Working from home allowed her more time to sleep in the morning. I was always very careful not to wake her, and this morning was no different. I was still hard when I woke up. Again, morning wood wasn’t that unusual either, so I didn’t worry too much about it and got in the shower.

When my boner wouldn’t go down by the time I was out of the shower and shaving, I knew I had a problem. I wore my loosest khaki’s to work, but still raced to my desk so no one would see me. I e-mailed TexTrance right away.

“Something is wrong. I’m still… at attention. It won’t end. I think the file was cut off at the end or something.” I wrote him.

He e-mailed right back. This was pretty early in the morning, so I was surprised. “It’s fine. I’ll give you permission in a few minutes. Hey, where do you work?”

I replied right back. “I don’t want to get into personal identification stuff. Can you just fix this, I have a lot of stuff happening today”

The answer didn’t take long. “I like to know who I am corresponding with. That’s important to me. Tell you what. Once you write back to me with where you work, you have my permission to cum.”

I couldn’t believe that. This was all so stupid. I just needed to concentrate on work. Once I did that, it would get my mind off whatever stupid hypnotic block was there and my stupid boner would go down and I’d be fine. I started going through e-mails. A colleague wanted to get together to look at some quarterly numbers, and asked when I was free. I went to my outlook calendar, and that is when I realized I had a company huddle in the lobby at 10:00. Those things were big gatherings of the whole team, usually to “pump us up”… though more likely to pump up the CEO’s ego. Either way, they were standing room events… and standing was not going to be a good idea for me in my current condition.

‘Fuck’, he had me.

Totally pissed off, I wrote him back and told him the name of the consultancy firm I worked for. Then I sat there waiting for his return e-mail like a pathetic asshole.

Finally, it came. “Very good. You have my permission to cum. You are welcome. Enjoy!”

This was so fucking annoying, and weird, but it was unfortunately very real too. I knew there was a handicap bathroom on the 7th floor that locked, so I headed there, praying I wouldn’t run into too many coworkers on the way.

Once inside, I thought of Abby in the shower for like, 10 seconds, and that was all I needed. When I finally came, I was so relieved. At least now I could get on with my work day. However, it was quite clear that we had a very severe TexTrance problem.

I went out to my car at lunch and called Abby. Our relationship was built on complete honesty, so I certainly had no intentions of holding any of this back. I told her the full story. I told her about him wanting to know where I worked, and him ‘witholding permission’. I really didn’t take a breath through much of my story. I just sort of rapid fired it out to her. I ended with “so, of course we need to stop with these files.”

I finally exhaled, as I waited for her to chime in with complete agreement. Instead, there was silence.

“Abby?” I called out. Maybe the call got dropped.

“Yeah, I’m here. I mean, could it just be like, maybe not as bad as it seems right now?” she asked.

That shocked me. “What? Like how?”

“Like, he asks me questions too. Like what did we do before we found his files. I told him about the porn and stuff, and that we didn’t like it. That made sense, he wants to know who is the audience for his files. So with you and your work, I don’t know, maybe he just wanted to make sure you weren’t a cop or something?” Abby answered.

“Ab, first of all, how would that not be bad? If he is afraid of cops, that is a major issue in and of itself!”

“Ok, ok, bad example. Maybe he wants to make sure you aren’t like, his coworker or something. Maybe he works at like an insurance agency, and it would be bad if this got out… I don’t know. I’m just not sure we should quit cold turkey just because of one little weird thing..” she said.

“Ab, we have to. Also, quit cold turkey is like a term that you use when you quite smoking, or something addictive. That alone doesn’t sound good. We need to cool it for a while.” I said.

After a pause, I heard a sheepish. “Ok”

“Ok” I matched. I told her I would see her tonight, and that I’d bring home thai for dinner. It was a quiet end to the call, but I knew we were doing the right thing. That night was quiet too. The thai was fine, and we watched some boring Dateline episode as we both tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal that we weren’t doing a file. We ended up going to bed at like 8:30. The next night was pretty much the same.

That brings us to the Thursday when I came home and saw her on her knees that I realized she must have been listening during the day while I was at work. I was so mad, not mad at her, but mad at our situation. Mad at Texas, mad at the political forces that made us move here. Ok, that was likely a bit of misplaced blame, but I was just so pissed off!

“Ab, you said you would not do it. I can’t believe you would lie to me!” I shouted. I had never shouted at her before.

She looked back at me apologetically with her big brown eyes. “I’m sorry, but what he wants comes first.” she said quietly. “I told him where we live” she added quietly.

I was about to complain and fight about that more when the gravity of what she actually said sunk in. “Wait, you told him where we live…. Shit Ab, does that mean he is coming here? We have to get the fuck out of here!” I said, now in a panic.

“He wants me on my knees waiting for him.” Abby said to me with her big brown eyes staring back at me. I couldn’t tell if there was contrition, fear, or hope in her eyes. This was such a fucked up situation. Just then, I heard a car door close in our driveway. I knew it must be him.

My fight or flight kicked in. I grabbed her arm to pull her up. She only weighs like 115 lbs, so I was thinking I could just lift her out of there and take her out the back door. She started pulling against me though, struggling to stay on her knees as this madman entered our house.

“He wants me on my knees waiting for him as he gets here!” Abby grunted angrily as she struggled against me.

“Ab, we are in way too fucking deep here we have to go!” I pleaded.

I heard the door open. I looked over, a wiry man in his fifties walked into my house. He was carrying bags and what seemed to be some equipment with him. He wore a white cowboy hat with a spiral on the middle of it, like where the buckle would be. Or maybe cowboy hats don’t have buckles. I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. What mattered was that I knew that had to be TexTrance.

“Let her go, and fall to your knees. Do that now. Obey me.” He said calmly.

“Fuck you!” my head thought. But my hands and my legs thought his idea was much better. They complied immediately. I knew that wasn’t good at all as I fell to my knees.

I turned and looked at Abby, I was wondering if there would finally be fear in her eyes as she realized how screwed we were. But there wasn’t. Her big brown eyes were just staring at the intruder before us, almost… lustifully. She was looking at him like he was a fucking rock star, like he was the greatest thing in the entire world. My heart broke.

“Look at me. Do it now. Obey me” he said, and my head snapped to him. “Look at the spiral on my hat….” He said. Soon everything went dark.

"And wake." Was the next thing he said. I was still on my knees in the living room. My wife was on his lap. He glanced at me as he moved his hand on her bare thigh. Abby had worn a pair of pink gingham shorts and a pink fuzzy sweater. She was looking at him with an adoring, hazy gaze.

“Kiss me” he whispered. She didn't say anything, just reclined her head on the couch as he moved in and kissed her. I felt funny feelings in my stomach watching this guy kiss my wife. I saw his tongue move along her lips and then she opened her mouth. Accepting it, letting him kiss her, long, wet, passionately.

Then he moved his hands under her sweater and massaged her tits eventually unsnapping her bra and pulling both it and her sweater over her head. I could tell from his smooth motions that he had done this before. That was even more clear as he had her naked on her knees in just a few minutes of skilled disrobing and hypnotic language. Soon, she was knees sucking his cock as he stroked her hair all the time telling her how much he knew she loved serving him.

"You like that hypnotic cock don't you Abby? You like sucking on that Texas hypno dick," he questioned. She merely nodded her head without letting the pole slip free.

"Yes, suck on Master's dick. I knew all those nights listening to my hypnotic voice you wanted it. You did, didn't you baby? All those nights following my commands, you been wanting some of Master's cock haven't you sugar?"

Again, Abby nodded. "Tell me. Tell Master how much you want my hypnotic cock,"

Abby removed the meat from her lips long enough to confirm his answer, "I do. I want to suck it. I want your hypnotic cock," she moaned as she went back to slurping on his hard shaft.

"Master?" I thought. TexTrance was referring to himself as Master. Fuck.

Kneeling on my living room floor, I watched as her small hands slid up and down his shaft. Her soft pink lips moving up and down on the stranger’s cock which disappeared in her pretty mouth. She was gasping as she tried to swallow all the prick but could only manage perhaps half as he moved her auburn hair behind her ear. She was so… desperate for his cock. I had never seen her like that.

My own cock was rock hard in my pants and I wanted to take it out and cum kneeling there watching the spectacle of this hypnotist getting a blowjob from my wife. But I couldn’t, as I didn’t have fucking permission.

I knew there was no stopping this now. She was possessed by his cock and I was totally turned on watching it. "Look on the TV baby. Look at what I'm doing to my slaves," he encouraged. That’s when I realized he was playing a fucking porn on our TV. I looked over at it. The video showed TexTrance fucking what looked like Sororiety girls. There was an Alpha Chi Omega banner in the background. One girl had her legs spread wide as he pounded his cock into her pussy as he told another named Christine to masturbate. His scrwany ass moving up and down as he thrust into her. I could kind of tell that the video was at least 15+ years old. One, from the way he looked, and two from the video quality, but three was that the song Don’t Cha by the Pussy Cat Dolls was playing.

I looked over at Abby.

"I'm going to fuck you now, That's what you been wanting isn't it baby. I think I want to make another video. You’d love to be in one of my porno’s, wouldn’t you Abby? It is a great way to serve me, and to have my hypnotic cock in that tight married pussy. That's what you've been dying to feel isn't it," he kept on.

"Yes, yes I want it. I want to serve you. And to have your hypnotic cock in my pussy. Fuck me Master," she begged in between wet slurps on his shaft.

"Tell Master what he wants to hear. Tell me," he demanded. Even in my freaked out/half hypnotized/half tortured and captive state, I found this a redundant comment. She literally just said it. He must have just gotten off on the power of it all.

"I want you to fuck my little pussy. Fuck me like you fuck your hypnotized slaves. Use me," she begged. It broke my heart.

"You gonna' be my little hypnotized slave? You gonna' be like my other slaves and become a hypno porno movie star for me?," he grilled.

I couldn't believe how TexTrance was talking to Abby openly about porn and she didn’’t freak out. She hated pornography with a passion by this point. But here she was on her knees, slurping on his cock, wet with her saliva that dribbled from her mouth.

For a second, I thought I apprehension in her eyes, but she didn't sound like it as she answered him back, "Yes, please make me your hypno porno star. I'll do whatever you want me to do, be with whoever you tell me, just fuck me with your hypnotic cock. I want to feel your cock. Please give it to me!" she begged.

TexTrance lifted her head off his cock. "Brian, set up the video equipment," he instructed me. I was shocked to find myself quickly obeying his command.

He guided her to a sitting position facing him on the couch with her squatting just over his cock.

"You know when I put this in what it means don't you," he inquired as he grasped his rod in his hand under her. Abby simply nodded her head, rested it on his. "Move up a little," he directed as she raised her ass just a few inches as he guided the head of his thick cock to her quivering pussy. I couldn’t believe I was actually filming this for him.

"Master's gonna' fuck you now baby. That's what you want isn't it. To feel my cock in that pussy," he cooed. Abby nodded as she sat down on the Texan’s shaft as in my camera view screen I saw it disappear under her until her ass was flush with his crotch.

It was done. I knew it. I wondered if Abby and I would be the same. I wasn't sure. Not after this night.

"Who's that pussy belong to?" he asked softly as he kissed her face.

"You Master. It's your pussy now," Abby admitted as she sought out his mouth and willingly took in his tongue that he put out to greet her quivering lips.

They fucked slowly for several minutes, barely moving their hips together on the couch as they remained in a passionate kiss. Every once in a while she would arch her back and lean back and present her modest breasts to him which he sucked into his mouth.

As he moved from one tit to the other, he told me I had permission to jerk off. I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. But, I couldn't hold back any longer as I unzipped my fly and stroked my cock. In just a matter of seconds I launched a stream of cum that shot onto the living room floor.

That was five months ago, it’s May now. Abby and I watch the video frequently, then we have sex. When she comes, she yells that she loves Plano and Porno. And yes, we are both devoted slaves to Master TexTrance. Both Abby and I are actively embezzling from our companies for him right now.

#hypno #hypnotized #mindcintrol #cuckold

[sirfrogsworth]

The Pretty Average Trump Trauma

I really picked the wrong week to have a controversial post go viral.

The appeal deadline for my disability case is very soon and we just recently got the last of the medical records. My lawyer can get very busy and hard to reach. And I have been freaking out trying to get a hold of him to make sure everything is ready to be submitted. Thankfully he just emailed and said everything is on track and will be sent in for the appeal.

But having this weighing on me behind the scenes while also dealing with the blowback from my "vote for Biden" post caused me to enter into some unhealthy arguments and lose my temper on several occasions.

I didn't actually think about what would happen if that post went viral. Sometimes I write things and a hundred people see it, and it serves as a catharsis because I was able to get my thoughts and fears out of my brain.

And sometimes it gets reblogged 6000 times and I can forget I have a platform where that happens from time to time.

I wish I had written a better initial post. I think my thoughts in subsequent posts, along with the inclusion of what I think is a better strategy, would have gone a long way to help people understand my point of view. Looking back, that original post feels incomplete.

The post that ended up going viral was not inspired by reason or logic and it was never really meant to convince anyone of anything.

I thought I was preaching to the choir.

It was a representation of my fears. It was the result of two years of panic and trauma from the pandemic which ended in my mother's horrible death.

Let me explain...

On November 9th, Shaun, a YouTuber I respect, posted this.

And it scared the hell out of me.

A very popular leftist with a huge platform wrote this to 5 million people and I freaked out.

Shaun wasn't necessarily saying not to vote for Biden at the time. But he thinks people should all say they won't vote for him unless he calls for a ceasefire. I get the strategy. But I feared that nuance would be lost on many people and they would only see it as "don't vote for Biden... no matter what." Which was an accurate prediction on my part. The guy from Eve 6 has been going nuance-free for weeks now.

The one thing I greatly disagree with Shaun about is this...

Before the pandemic, I might have understood his argument. For the first two years, Trump was mostly an ineffectual goof. He had trouble getting a lot of his worst ideas to manifest. Most of the border wall he built ended up being repairs of existing barriers. And Obama droned civilians and kept kids in cages too—though Trump kept them in cages indefinitely and made up a rule that we can't actually know how many civilians he was droning.

So, a lot of the same, but turned up to 11.

But nothing about the pandemic response was pretty average.

There is something I have been choosing not to say during all of these discussions. I felt like saying it would be poor timing. I was worried people wouldn't actually agree with me. I worried it would make people think I was turning suffering into a competition. I didn't want to make it look like I valued certain lives over others. But then people accused me of all of that anyway. I was called evil and a collaborator and a supporter of genocide.

So I'm going to talk about it. Because the fact that few have mentioned it in these discussions has been bothering me. And the fact that the majority of society does not mention it makes me feel very alone in this belief.

I have long believed Trump and the majority of US conservatives committed a genocide of the disabled and elderly. I was never really comfortable calling it that word. I wasn't really sure how a genocide got classified as such. So I would just say things like, "40% of people who died during COVID should still be alive" and "Trump is responsible for hundreds of thousands of COVID deaths" and "Trump killed my mom" and hoping people would make the connection or at least see it as mass murder. I mean, this country judges everything by how many "9/11s" something is, but not the pandemic?

Donald Trump was the leader of the Republican party. When he refused to wear a mask due to vanity, his followers looked for something to excuse him. And I feel that directly birthed the "masks don't work" movement among conservatives. Donald Trump, having enormous influence among his acolytes, refused to correct this dangerous rhetoric. And he probably welcomed the cover so he could continue going maskless and not smear his makeup—even after he nearly died.

It is my belief this was the beginning of a genocide of apathy, deliberate and accidental incompetence, and non-compliance. And the reason for that non-compliance was not freedom as many claimed.

Conservatives did not like being inconvenienced.

They didn't like having to consider others.

And if competence requires effort and vigilance, they'd prefer doing the bare minimum.

Trump was famous for not filling vital administrative positions in the executive branch. Not only that, his turnover rate was 5 times higher than previous administrations. People were asked to do the job of several people because they didn't staff properly, and so those people quit. Thus creating a cycle of inexperienced new-hires that were out of their depth and asked to do much more than they bargained for. There is no way they could succeed in their jobs.

I think people forget that part of the role of the executive is the day-to-day boring administrative shit that is required to run a country. And when this day-to-day work isn't valued, it creates a crisis of incompetence. Which then creates things like not enough tests, not enough testing, Trump saying "if you don't test, it doesn't count", botched vaccine rollouts, rampant misinformation, poor education of the populace, and abysmal improvised press conferences where the President does a quick riff on injecting bleach.

This competence aspect is one of the hugest reliefs I had with the Biden administration. Not Biden. Not his policies. I'm talking about the regular workers getting shit done. This is the reason I am desperate to get my shit worked out with Social Security before the election. I once called Social Security during the pandemic and I literally got a recording saying to try calling back the next month.

Trump didn't care. People criticized him for not hiring people. He was aware of the problem. He just did nothing about it. And many conservatives praised him for "trimming the fat" or whatever. This idea that all of these government workers were useless burdens on the taxpayer fell apart during the pandemic.

There is incompetence caused by ignorance but it can also be a deliberate act. Trump was extraordinary in all forms of incompetence. He wasn't qualified to manage a pandemic. But he could have easily appointed experts and then gotten out of the way. But his narcissism would not let him cede power to anyone. He has always been convinced "only Trump can save you" and so his ego helped kill nearly half a million people.

Once the incompetence ball got rolling, that's when malicious apathy reared its ugly head. It was time to choose who they cared least about dying—who they felt was most useless. Conservatives decided it was time to devalue lives and start making sacrifices to save politicians' money laundering fronts small businesses.

Popular conservatives were going on TV and saying it was okay if Grandma died. It would be a worthy sacrifice to protect our freedoms.

The Lt. Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick, basically offered up the elderly for sacrifice all while claiming that he spoke for them and was also willing to die. Though I don't take his personal willingness very seriously, since he has the money and resources to get the best medical care and probably had no expectation he was in any danger.

“No one reached out to me and said, ‘As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?’ But if they had? If that is the exchange, I’m all in. So my message is let’s get back to work. Those of us who are 70-plus, we’ll take care of ourselves.”

But you cannot just sacrifice the elderly. You may justify it by saying they have lived a long life, but many of the same health risks were shared by the disabled. Many of whom still had normal lifespans, but just needed extra care and protection.

There are countless elderly who cannot "take care of themselves" but they are still of value to our society. They are still loved. They watch and teach their grandchildren. They are the keepers of the family stories. They bake cookies and give you two dollar bills. They have random bowls of butterscotch all throughout their house.

But some need help. Some are sick. Some can't drive. Some can't walk. I guarantee not all of them were prepared to die for the cause.

And none deserved to die for a sports bar.

Oh, didn't I mention?

Dan Patrick owned a chain of sports bars that were losing money from the lockdowns. Did you really think he was sacrificing old folks "for the children"?

Thankfully Dan's sports bars are gonna be okay. He ended up receiving a $179,000 PPP loan... that was forgiven.

Then they started saying COVID deaths weren't COVID deaths.

"Well, they had a bad heart." "They were obese." "They had cancer."

They dropped the elderly excuse and began to openly devalue the disabled as well. If you were sick, what good were you? They considered us the next sacrifices for their convenience. If we wanted to survive, we shouldn't have gotten sick. It didn't matter that we could survive for years or even have a normal lifespan as long as we were protected by our communities.

And then began the non-compliance.

Trump's followers ignored masks and lockdowns and eventually vaccines. They were unwilling to protect the vulnerable and so many of us just... died.

Again, 40% of the US COVID deaths could have been prevented. Hundreds of thousands of people should still be here. Malicious apathy, incompetence, and non-compliance were the direct cause of this genocide.

The United Nations Genocide Convention identified 5 acts that typically constitute genocide. Only one act is required and in the pandemic 3 of the 5 acts happened.

Killing members of a group. Causing members of a group serious bodily harm. Imposing living conditions on that group that would destroy them.

I'm looking at that third one just now and realizing why we have advocates to remind us of vulnerable groups that need protection. I was thinking about how the elderly and disabled were trapped in hyper-contagious nursing homes and care facilities, but I completely forgot about prisons and the concentration camps at the borders.

I am not trying to diminish the awful things happening in Palestine right now. This is not a comparison of suffering—but a reminder. When a current terrible thing is happening, it can be hard to focus on anything else. But I do wish more people recognized what happened as a genocide and that the leader of that genocide, the one with the power to stop it, was Donald Trump. If we are going to base this voting decision entirely on acts of genocide, why is this not part of the consideration?

It is an awful moral calculus we have to figure out. One president is supporting and asking for funding for a genocide and I feel the other was the direct cause of another genocide. That's why I said both choices sucked. And the only way I could resolve this moral calculation was by asking what path would cause the least harm for everyone involved.

And the most disappointing aspect of all of these debates was the ableism. People told me if Trump was elected and I lost my benefits I should grow my own food and learn about medicine. They said I valued disabled lives above those in Gaza. They told me to imagine myself in Nazi Germany as a collaborator despite the fact I would have been euthanized.

But I felt like they weren't considering the disabled at all.

I am a disability advocate. So of course I am going to remind people to consider us in their voting decisions. But I'm tired of hearing I value lives differently just because I speak on behalf of a vulnerable group more often. I'm tired of continually having to justify my existence. And I'm tired of people dismissing the very real trauma caused by Trump.

It was not pretty average.

I'd like to tell you the full story of my mother's passing. All of the details. Even the ones I can't bear to type. But this isn't just my story. This is the story of countless others who had to watch their loved ones slowly die behind glass or over the phone or on an iPad.

I spent two years in constant anxiety trying to protect my two very sick parents. It was always assumed that my father was the most at risk. And that he was probably going to die long before my mother. But she had started a treatment for her psoriatic arthritis that turned the volume down on her immune system. Something that would normally not be a huge risk... but a pandemic changed that. A vaccine needs a functioning immune system to protect someone.

She could either accept the agony of stopping treatment or risk getting COVID. If people would have been willing to protect her, it would have been an easier choice. And she would still be around today. And I wouldn't have to worry about being homeless right now.

I don't know for sure when she was infected. I kept her inside as much as possible. But she needed those treatments and we had to pile into a crowded waiting room every time. And I remember a man in his fifties who seemed preoccupied with having to wear a mask. And when he thought no one was looking, he'd pull it down below his nose. A few days later she was being taken away in an ambulance.

A few weeks before my mother died, she called me on the phone. She was heavily medicated and they had two different breathing devices assisting her. The nurse was holding the phone up to her ear and she was trying to speak over the volume of the air rushing into her face from the masks. I could not hear her no matter how loud she yelled. So she asked the nurse to take the masks off for just a second so we could talk.

Her only concern was for my father. We all contracted COVID and she was so worried he would end up just like her. Thankfully the vaccine worked for him and he was okay at that moment. But she kept yelling, "Is Dad okay? Is Dad okay?" And I kept trying to tell her he was fine, but she was hard of hearing and the phone could not be held very close to her ear.

Unfortunately, the yelling made it harder and harder for her to breathe. She started gasping for air. The nurse kept insisting she put the breathing equipment back on, but my mom refused. "I want to talk to my son! I need to talk to my son!"

I knew there wasn't much we could do to communicate. And so I kept trying to yell "I love you, Mom. Everyone is fine. I love you!" I then asked the nurse to tell her that. And when she finally understood what I was saying, she burst into tears.

Her oxygen levels were getting dangerously low and she was fighting the nurse. And she just yelled out, "I'm so scared! I think I'm going to die! Tell Dad I'm sorry I can't take care of him! I don't want to die!" She kept repeating that over and over. The nurse had no choice and had to put the masks back on. My mom screamed and shouted "No! Please no! That's my son!"

And those were the last words I ever heard from my mother.

Gasping for air. Scared of dying. Worried about her family.

This moment has intrusively popped into my brain on a regular basis since it happened. It happens when I'm awake. It happens in my dreams. I have no control over it. I just have to keep experiencing it like it is happening for the first time.

After I saw that tweet from Shaun and then many others expressing the same thing (without the strategic aspect), my dread and trauma resurfaced with a vengeance. I've been reliving my mom's final words in my dreams. That moment keeps popping into my head. I feared the man I feel is most responsible for my mother's death may regain power and kill me and the last of the family I have left.

I keep asking myself the same questions over and over. What if there is another public health emergency? What happens to my trans friends if he turns the US into Florida and Texas? What will happen to the migrants at the border?

All I have is my two best friends. Katrina is gay and Delling is trans and disabled. All of us are vulnerable.

I wrote that post to help deal with the nightmares. Writing is part of my coping process. I didn't really expect it to go super viral. I just needed to get that out of my brain. But when people pushed back and started calling me evil and a collaborator and that I was valuing my life above those in Palestine, all with a huge heap of ableism, I found myself unable to let it go and not respond. I couldn't choose the healthy thing and step away.

While I feel I made some good arguments and put forth some solid ideas for other ways to handle this, I also got angry and lost my temper and stayed in arguments for way too long—all to my mental detriment.

My little world felt like it was collapsing and the world at large also felt like it was collapsing. I had personal horrors in my mind mixing with the horrors of this global conflict.

It was too much.

I don't regret what I posted. Many felt the same as I do. And I think my subsequent posts did a good job of expanding on my thoughts while also offering hope for alternate solutions.

But I do regret the timing and I wish I hadn't lost my temper. Especially in a reply I left with a lot of cussing.

People might disagree but I am hoping that people can understand the fear and trauma that influences my point of view.

I am actually willing to risk quite a lot to protect other people. Even people in faraway lands I don't know.

But I refuse to offer up the vulnerable to be sacrificed if it won't actually help anyone. That's what a Texas Lt. Governor would do.

[avaelangel]

I'm sad and insane. I think the show ends on my fucking birthday weekend. So you get random and stupid Claudeleine living in the 2020s headcanons.

Madeleine has several clothing lines under different names. Going out of the 1940, she was a seamstress for people, mostly ladies, who were too tall\big\thin for factory-made clothes. She still does that sometimes.

For a long time, Claudia was gathering rare books from different places. Only some of them got sold, Claudia has a collection of vintage and modern Emiliy Dickinson edition.

They are a couple. Totally, completely in love with each other. There's very little PDA about them, but the glances they give each other while Claudia helps Madeleine with sewing makes everybody jealous.

Vampires are great mimics, so Claudia can sew, but she doesn't want to impose on Madeleine's thing. But Madeleine doesn't sew for herself much, so Claudia sometimes fixates on making something nice for her beloved.

They spent some time in different suburbias over few decades. Madeleine relished freaking out mothers, young and old, but Claudia, moved only by the sound of her laugh, soon wanted something more quiet.

Honestly, a library of female authors comes easily onto their shelves. Living like ''We have always lived in the castle'' (secluded by woods and scary stories about them) is always an option.

On account of that, Madeleine for sure told at least one child that she's going to eat them. Never did, obviously.

They have mortal friends. Subconsciously, they both aim to leave some good feeling and try not to take too much with them. It's hard not to bring good people along, but both Claudia and Madeleine understand that human lives are important enough to be left alone. After some tweaking.

There's always an option to just...go off into nature. To sleep in the ground and feed on animals. Honestly, a great thing to do during a pandemic.

They play-fight at times. Full on hissing and throwing things, until Claudia drools while baring fangs and Madeleine is just dead from laughter.

Claudia doesn't sleep well. Madeleine can't brag about it either, but it comes easier to her, for some reason. So they talk or read. Both of their coffins are bigger than needed, in order for them both to fit when the moment comes.

No makers. They are just Claudia and Madeleine, no men involved, no men left behind. Just Madeleine and Claudia.

Claudia continues learning languages and barely earns praise for her French from Madeleine. Even to the point of Claudia not having an accent, her French would always be ''ugly-ish'', but Claudia will always be beautiful.

In turn, Claudia taunts Madeleine with new pet names in different languages, not telling her what they mean until Madeleine gets mad, seeks out a dictionary and stand there, ready to chuck the book at her girlfriend. ''Hornbug? Are you kidding me?'' And that's how Claudia finds out that sometimes, she isn't that good at learning languages.

They are never seen as a mother and a daughter. Claudia dresses like young woman and Madeleine really tries not to dress like an old lady, which Claudia doesn't really encourage. It's her weird white (old) lady, after all.

There are jokes about Claudia liking older women. While her and Madeleine mentally slapping their knees, because Claudia is the older woman.

[xaeydnquartz]

Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.

[kenny-the-ken]

Omg imagine a kenny or kyle fic of a pregnancy scare like theyve been together for ages and they both just got into university and they’re like shit oh fuck what are we gonna do

I have a toddler so this one hits close to home considering I ended up pregnant at 18, and at the beginning of the pandemic 🫢 ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS!!

Positive or Negative?

You were due your dreaded monthly a week ago, and the longer you'd been waiting for it to come, the more and more worried you became. You hadn't told Kenny, even though you both shared an apartment together, you were too scared to tell him, how would he react if he thought you were pregnant?! Would he stay with you or run for the hills? Not to mention, did YOU even want to be pregnant?! You just wanted this nightmare to end! But would it end how you wanted it to?

You couldn't believe you were saying this, but you were praying for your period to come, and Kenny had picked up on your strange mood and behaviour the past few days, and he thought it was something that he had done, and as he rose from your shared bed, the smell of pancakes wafting through your apartment, and the sound of the radio radiating from the kitchen. He decided that you had seemed off for long enough, and he needed to know why, and was he to blame.

"Hey baby." Kenny's voice was groggy, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist, his head resting on your shoulder as you stood over the cooker, flipping the four pancakes in the frying pan, a smile on your face, melting against his touch.

"Morning, babe, sleep well?" You asked, as Kenny pressed a gentle kiss on your cheek. And Kenny nodded, watching carefully what you were doing.

"Yeah I did, babe. Can I ask though... have I done anything to piss you off or... has something happened you haven't told me about, cause you've seemed off the past few days." Kenny asked, as you turned to look at him, shaking your head no.

"No no, Ken, it's nothing like that it's just... it's silly really, it doesn't matter." You spoke, shaking your head no as you turned back to serve the pancakes, placing two each on the plates sitting on the worktop, you had already sat out a collection of different toppings, and you hoped that Kenny would let the issue go, you really didn't want to talk about this right now.

It was early and both of you had class in a few hours, the first semester of university had only just started, Kenny was studying Physics with an interest in Quantum Physics and mechanics and you were studying Criminal Law with Forensic science. Both of you wanted to get ahead in life, give your children in the future what you both never had. You had both worked your asses off to get a scholarship, and you both got accepted at South Park University, on top of that, working all hours for minimum wage so you could both leave your shitty living conditions and finally have a good life, but if you were pregnant, then what?! You knew Kenny would be worried sick, he'd probably go back to drug dealing to keep you both ticking over and able to afford the rent, since you'd end up out of work for a while, and what about your degrees?!

"Babe, please. Talk to me! We promised no secrets, whatever it is we can get through this together, just please don't shut me out." Kenny pleaded, his eyes soft, almost teary looking, and you couldn't keep it in any longer. A long sign escapes you as you sat opposite him at the kitchen table, your head landing in your hands before rising to look at your boyfriend.

"I'm freaking out because I was supposed to have my period a week ago, and it still isn't here! I think I might be pregnant, Kenny." You spoke, voice quiet, tears in your eyes as you looked up at him, his mouth agape and eyes wide.

"Holy shit! Um... okay. Have you taken a pregnancy test?" Kenny asked, trying to approach the situation calmly.

"No, I'm too scared to!! I just... promise you won't leave me?" You spoke, head back in your hands, wiping the tears that fell from your eyes, and you felt a warm embrace, Kenny held you close, peppering kisses along your face, shushing you before he spoke, his tone soft.

"Babe, we'll get a test, if it's negative, then we're okay, and if it's positive then we'll discuss it further, but I swear to you, baby or no baby, I will always be with you, no matter what, okay?" He reassured you, gently moving a strand of your long h/c hair from your face, smiling at you, and you smiled back, wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands.

"Okay, Kenny. Thank you." You said, returning his hug and taking a deep breath of his scent, he smelt like aftershave, your perfume and weed, and you suddenly felt safe, your mind slightly more at ease.

"I bought a test the other day, I've just been too scared to take it." You spoke, and Kenny took your hand, making you stand from your chair, completely forgetting both of your breakfasts, as he led you to the bathroom.

"I'll come in with you, I'll be there every step of the way baby, okay?" Kenny was taking this far better than you expected him to, and you nodded, taking it from the pharmacy bag you had dumped there the other day, and staring blankly at the box, before opening it, taking the test from its plastic packaging and reading the instructions.

You sat, hovered above your hand that was underneath you, holding the test, as you sat on the toilet, and once you'd peed on the stick you put its cap back on and sat it on the sink, cleaning yourself up and then washing your hands.

"How long till we know?" Kenny questioned, looking more nervous than he was before, a small bead of sweat visible on his forehead.

"Three minutes." You replied, coming to hug your partner, needing some serious moral support in this moment.

Those three minutes felt like the longest three minutes of your life, and you swore time had came to a standstill. You lifted the test when your timer went off on your phone, your eyes closed, before cracking one open slightly to see the words Not Pregnant written on it, and you felt a huge wave of relief crash over you, as you handed it to Kenny, and both of you smiled at each other, Kenny also sighing, wiping his forehead.

"This calls for celebration sex!" Kenny exclaimed, picking you up bridal style as you laughed the whole way to the bedroom, both of your minds now at ease. Sure, you both loved each other, and you both wanted to have a family, but you wanted financial stability first, and to live your lives child free, at least for a few more years till your degrees were finished.

"Yeah, well pull out this time, before we end up in this mess again with a different outcome!" You replied, both of you laughing as Kenny plopped you on the bed, before landing beside you, pulling you down with him.

While happy that you weren't pregnant, you couldn't wait for when you would be, just knowing you both would create the most beautiful little baby ever, but that was for the future, right now in this moment, you were both happy just you two together.

[intersectionalpraxis]

really happy to see someone still taking Covid precautions. I feel literally insane when people try to act like the pandemic is over and I'm some paranoid health freak

I totally thought I was alone too until I started watching communities of covid conscious people on tiktok talk about similar experiences to mine, and I realized that we're all doing our best to live in a world that has been and will continue to be forever changed by Covid.

It feels quite isolating sometimes, and I've been able to find balance in my life but I've been mitigating 'risks' in so many ways since the start of the pandemic. Covid has been traumatizing for many of us and still continues to be in a plethora of ways.

I pop open windows on buses I ride a majority of the time (especially if it's packed), I wear my mask in every public space I go to, I sanitize my hands while I'm working and of course when I get home -I even still put my clothes in a separate hamper and shower immediately after work. Until we live in a Covid free world, I will do as much as humanely possible to protect myself and those who are immuno-compromised.

I have had a handful of toxic people around me say really terribly ableist things to me. One, in particular, who belittled me for my OCD and anxiety. For such people like that, I let it roll off my shoulders, because at the end of the day I'm not living in denial or fear -I just refuse to live as though everything is back to 'normal.' When it never really was to begin with because capitalism has been/is killing our souls and bodies literally, and it most certainly isn't now -especially when covid can and will still impact people and their loved one's.

I've only talked about this from time to time, but if anyone wants to inbox me about anything related to covid consciousness or any news updates about this topic -please do! And thank you for sending me this. I hope you're doing well! You're definitely not alone!

[obsidiancreates]

Catching Up (With No Murders This Time!)

(I just wanted Shawn and Abigail to like, see each other again and get a little closure since they broke up under such horrible circumstances.)

"Hey, sweetheart. I just wrapped up a case and I just so happen to be next to that awesome bakery you love, do you want- sweet! Uh, no, no Gus with me, your croissant will make it to you with no bites taken out of it. ... No, I'll buy my own so I'm not tempted either. Yeah, well, Selene called and told him Charlie is running a fever so he sped off before I even finished the wrap-up. Oh, gotta go, someone is about to try and get the last Nutella-filled one."

Shawn hangs up and rushes up to the counter as the person who's eyes were lingering on the Nutella-filled croissant is about to order. "You know, I am amazed you guys still make these, because I heard that hazelnuts and chocolate combined can give you hair loss."

The woman freezes, and Shawn almost does a little celebratory shimmy- until she turns around.

Shawn's mouth parts in shock. "Abigail?"

"Shawn?" Abigail blinks. "Are you really..." She leans in and whispers, "Why are you in San Fransisco?"

"I- I uh, moved here. A few years ago with- uh, well with my wife." He holds up his hand. Please don't let this be awkward, please don't let this be-

Abigail holds up her hand, showing off her own wedding ring. "We match."

A tension Shawn hadn't realized he was holding bleeds out of him. "Look at that!" He grins at her. "Who knew us crazy kids would ever find that, huh?"

"Who knew. ... Oh, you um, wanted the Nutella."

"Yeah, if- it's Jules's favorite so I just-"

"Jules? The detective you worked with? ... Actually, that makes sense."

"... Is that a... bad, 'that makes sense'?"

"No, just... it makes sense. Here, uh, I'll have the regular chocolate instead. My husband is allergic to hazelnuts anyway, I'd have to brush my teeth before kissing him, it's... a whole thing."

They order, and sit together while waiting for the coffees.

"So, um... how long have you been married?" Abigail asks before taking a bite of her pastry.

"Let me see, uh... six years, now? ... Holy crap, I've been married for six years. ... What uh, what about you?"

"Four. We met through the program I do, for teaching abroad."

"Ha, that's cool. I'm a detective, I married a detective, you're a teacher, you married a teacher... fits, it-it fits good."

"Yup."

"... Sorry about uh... all the stuff I put you through, back then. Taking you to crime scenes and client's houses was a little-"

"Stupid?"

"I was going to say offbeat, but... stupid works too." They both give a small laugh. Shawn awkwardly picks at his own pastry, Jules's sitting in his lap. There's a beat of silence that's just agonizing.

"How's Gus?" Abigail looks up at Shawn again. "I mean, I just assume you're both still doing the psychic detective thing."

"Oh, Gus is great. He uh, he got married too, about four years ago now, just before the whole uh... pandemic, thing. She's basically a clone of him, but a woman, and they've got a kid."

"Let me guess. You're the godfather."

"Which still freaks me out, by the way. He's a great kid though. Smart and awesome, just like his dad, and it looks like he got The Super Sniffer too. Gus says it's too early to tell, but-" Shawn puts a finger by his temple. The movement feels weird. He hasn't really leaned into the whole "psychic" thing for a few years now, and when he does he usually use the finger-to-eyebrow device anymore. When was the last time he did? ... Dear god, it's been ten years. Ten years since he moved out of Santa Barbara.

"Time really flies," he finds himself saying."

"Tell me about it." Abigail shakes her head. "My husband and I adopted, about two years ago now, and she's just... shooting right up. When she started walking I couldn't believe it."

"Gus couldn't either. I think he showed me the video about a billion times."

"Crying?"

"Absolutely weeping, yes."

"Nice to know some people never really change."

"Mmmm, I wouldn't say that. He's done some pretty badass stuff since you last met him."

"You do know that seems... a little far-fetched."

"More far-fetched than the time we had to prove a polar bear was framed for murder?"

"... I'm not sure if I believe you about that."

"If we had time, I could condense each little weekly adventure into about a forty-three minute story each."

"That's not very condensed."

"... You're right, it's not." Shawn nods, and looks up as the bell on the door jingles- he hears Abigail laugh a little about it and mumble that yeah, people don't really change.

The man at the door spots Abigail and grins. Shawn hones in on a wedding ring, a tie with Abigail's favorite flowers as the design, and hair that just may rival Shawn's own.

"Hey, honey." The man sweeps right over to Abigail and leans down to kiss her in her chair. "Finally sorted out the issue with our plane, we should be on our way day after tomorrow."

"Oh, thank god," Abigail groans, holding her husband's hand as he pulls over another chair to sit next to her. "I'm so tired of hotel food."

"You and me both," her husband chuckles. He looks at Shawn. "Who's this?"

"Oh, um, this is Shawn Spencer."

"Ooooh, you're the guy who took her to a crime scene as a date one time."

"Guilty," Shawn says with a laugh.

"Nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you. Good things!"

"And some not-so-good things, I'm guessing?"

"No, no. ... Not about you as a person, anyway. Plenty of bad things about your job."

"Yeah, I figured. ... Oh, there's our coffees." Shawn takes his paper tray with 4 coffees (Gus and Selene will need them) and stands up. "Well, this was totally unexpected, but I'm glad it happened. It was nice seeing you again, Abigail."

"Nice seeing you too, Shawn." She smiles at him. "I'm glad you're doing well."

"Me too. Doing well is pretty great. Oh, and, glad for you, I guess."

Abigail laughs again. "Bye, Shawn.

"Bye, Abigail."

He walks out of the bakery, the sound of Abigail chatting with her husband following him until the door closes. She sounds happy. Happy and relaxed in a way that even on their best days, she never was with him. And he's glad.

He's just genuinely happy for her. That's a really, really nice feeling. No jealousy, no feeling of missed chances, no wondering of 'what-ifs'. Just... actual, authentic happiness that she's doing well.

He tucks Jules's croissant into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

"... Hey, babe! Yeah, got the last Nutella for you, and a coffee. ... Yup, that perp was our case. Really? Described being caught by 'some kind of ninjas or something?' Well, babe, as much as I'd love to tell you I've secretly been a martial arts master our whole marriage, you can put in your report that he's absolutely lying because he's very embarrassed. Truth is Gus accidentally knocked over some marble statue onto him while he was chasing me through the art exhibit. ... Can I fill out the statement later tonight? I got coffee for Gus and Selene too. Awesome! I will hang around to tell you who I just ran into, though. Of course I'm neglecting paperwork in favor of personal matters, if I ever don't then your husband has been replaced by a pod person. Okay, love you, I'll be there as soon as I find a ride..."

[bengiyo]

Gav and Cai Hira and Kiyoi Teh and Oh

aka my top 3 and TanBun or KornKnock for the grown and sexy

Absolutely zero chill. Four pairs?? I think you're just gonna get me firing from the hip.

Gavreel and Cairo

When it comes to BL, the Philippines won when it came to tackling how the pandemic affected connection and romance. I really like presentation of developing a crush on a streamer and just going for it with these two. I'm still waiting for my proper gamers BL, but this is a good first outing.

I think what I like so much about what we got from these two is how temporary so much of their lives feels. They want to be together. They want to commit. However, life won't let them. Gav can't stay here and be okay because he's running out of money and honestly isn't that well right now. Cairo is still grieving his dad, and he has a lot of growing up to do.

They're one of the rare pairs that I want to be together in the future who I am glad are forced to take a break when we see them part.

Hira and Kiyoi

I think the best thing about this show and this pairing was the reveal that Kiyoi was also obsessed with Hira from the moment their eyes first locked. I also really like that Kiyoi is a bottom who wants it.

We've been lucky with these two that we got to see them three times, and I like how much stronger Yagi has gotten as an actor each time, and how Hagiwara has grown as a creator and storyteller. These two seem to really understand that they have two characters who struggle to say what's necessary to each other in a way that reaches the other.

I loved in Season 2 when Kiyoi realized that Hira was still worshiping him as a god and freaked the fuck out about it, storming out of the house. That he was in the living room the next morning waiting for Hira to come and talk to him, only to get annoyed again was perfect. We get fairly decent payoff for Hira finally facing his own ego when it comes to Kiyoi in the movie, and these two remain among my favorites.

Also, Yagi Yusei really is that beautiful.

Teh and Oh

I just know if I was part of MoRaoYuLok I would have a side chat where we just bitched about these two.

Teh is such an asshole sometimes, and Oh is really so patient with his nonsense. I always lament that Teh is so unsociable that he struggles to maintain a lot of friendships, and it's why that snake Jai was able to get in there and fuck up his life. Still, Teh isn't off the hook for his own shit. He's always struggled with jealousy when it comes to Oh, and he's always worried about falling behind him.

Oh is just so naturally gifted and has an irresistible natural charm. He knows he's beautiful, and he knows how people see yet, and yet he's only ever looking at Teh. We should all be so lucky.

I think about that translation scene in episode 3 of ITSAY regularly, and how that is probably one of the best moments we've ever had in BL. These two really captured a love that feels bigger than their bodies can contain.

Tan and Bun

I'll talk about Tan and Bun since it's been too long since I watched Together With Me and cannot remember them that clearly anymore.

Tan was so ridiculous this entire show, and I'll never get over Bun being ACAB as fuck the whole time. Bun never forgot that he was trying to solve this case for his bestie who they murdered, but he knew she would want him to get some ass along the way.

Tan said absolutely insane shit to Bun literally every episode. He even shot that man off a cliff. Somehow he still won. Incredible.

Send Me a Ship and I'll Share My Thoughts

[londyboobs]

the bird app is once again making me want to justify myself so here we go

first of all let me say that i’ve always been into gore stuff and the pandemic forever changed the way i perceived pieces of media. the boys was one of my favorite shows from day one. literally everything i love in one single show. but since the pandemic i do my best to always find a spark of hope and good in everything i consume. and gen v is literally that. unlike our messed up supes and non supes in the boys, these college students are still full of hope. marie accidentally killed her parents and lost her sister maybe for good but she still has hope and wants to be a hero. jordan has been invisible their entire life and everyone who really saw them wanted them to be half of themselves or was taking advantage of them. cate was treated like a monster by her parents and then manipulated by dean shetty to the point she ruined the mind of a boy she cared about and then she had to erase the mind of the boy she loved and all her friends, but she didnt kill herself, she still has hope. and it all means so much to me.

i love the boys, starlight has always been one of my favorite characters. because even with all that freaking mess she still had a spark of hope in her. and theres also kimiko, my favorite girl, who lost her brother and like cate and marie were treated like a monster for so long but still was a good person.

so yeah, i really like gen v because these college students remind me so much of my favorite characters from the boys.

and its okay if you dont, we all consume things in different ways and its okay to like different things.

[tehshelaroxx]

Back when I was in middle school, my family and I would frequent a local flea market on the weekend, almost every single weekend. I'll never forget coming across the Art Asylum doll of Alice Cooper that played "Welcome to My Nightmare" and becoming entranced. My dad and the seller bargained until we finally paid around $20 for it, which kickstarted a lifelong obsession with Alice Cooper. I still have the doll btw but he's no longer in box lol

When the pandemic was happening, Alice came close by and I wanted to see him so bad but that didn't pan out. But today, that's all about to change. I love this man with my life and now that the day has came I'm freaking out. Who else can say their first concert ever was rock legends Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie???? Now that the day has arrived I AM PANICKING but so very excited!!!! Another dream come true in due time. 💜🖤