#i gave up on the second page it was giving me a lot stress

[thenastyotherblog]

He’s Shy 2.0

KO-FI    COMMISSION INFO 

[ravenromanova]

Please be mine

Pairings: Roommate Bucky x Female reader (Best friends to lovers)

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18. Daddy kink, Size kink, Fingering, Sex in a tub, Breeding kink. DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDERAGE!!!!!!!!!!

Summary: Bucky helps when youre stressed out

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!!

~

The cool autumn air hit your skin as you walked back to your apartment after finishing your last class of the day. You trudged along the way wishing that you brought a jacket today. Luckily the walk to your apartment wasnt that long so you weren’t in the cold all that long. When you made it back to your apartment your roommate and best friend Bucky was already home so you didn’t have to bother unlocking the front door.

“Hey sweets” Bucky greeted you when you walked through the door. His warm voice sent a shiver down your spine as he spoke.

“Hey Buck” Your voice was small and sounded very defeated when you spoke. Bucky stood up from his place on the couch and walked over to where you were in the kitchen. He stood in front of you and ran his hands up and down your arms in a soothing motion.

“What’s wrong sweets?” He asked causing you to bury your head in his chest and groaning. Bucky laughed a little and wrapped his strong arms around your back and started rubbing it.

“Mrs.Harkness gave us a ten page essay assignment thats due next week. So not only do i have to come up with a topic for that but i also have the paper to finish for Mr.Starks class, AND i have a test for Ms.Potts the same day the essay is due” Your words were muffled as you spoke but Bucky got the gist of it. He put his finger underneath your chin and tilted your head so you looked up at him.

“First you need to breathe before you go into a panic attack. Second i know you have a lot of work to do but you need to relax.” You were about to say something but then he put his finger against your lips. “No arguing printsessa“ He said in a little bit of a firmer tone and you didn’t have the energy to fight so you just nodded.

“Good girl now go sit on the couch and I’ll run you a bath” Bucky says walking you to the couch and then he kisses your head before he walks off to the bathroom. You sit on the couch trying not to blush and swoon from how sweet he’s being.

You and Bucky had met your junior year of high school and since then the two of you were inseparable. So naturally when you two both got accepted into NYU you asked him if he wanted to get an apartment with you. He accepted the offer telling you he’d love nothing more. And your friendship only grew stronger after that and you even started to fall for him. Your feelings grew for him each day and when he took care of you it just made then stronger.

What you didn’t know was that the reason he did all those things for you was because he was madly in love with you. Bucky loved to take care of you when you were stressed or sick. It made his heart feel all fuzzy when you would let him take care of you, the smile you would give him whenever he did melted his heart. Unfortunately you two were completely oblivious to how the other felt even though all your friends told you.

“Come on printsessa” You heard him call for you from the bathroom. You made your way to the bathroom and smiled at the setup. He lit your favorite candles, added your bath salts and bubbles, got your favorite book, snacks, hot chocolate and then laid your clothes on the counter for you when you were done.

“Thank you Jamie” The words were soft as they passed your lips making him smile. He walked up to you and wrapped you in his arms.

“You’re welcome sweets” His lips found their way to your forehead and your knees almost gave out. He kissed your head again before he started to walk out of the bathroom to give you your privacy.

You dont know what came over you but you grab his hand to stop him from leaving. He looked at you confused as you grabbed his hand and pulled him a little closer to you.

“Stay” You whispered looking up at his blue eyes. His confusion grew more as you spoke.

“What?” He asked and you wrapped your arms around his neck causing his breath to catch in his throat.

“i said stay” You repeated yourself and Bucky’s heart started racing.

“Y-You want me to stay in here while you take a bath?” He questioned making you laugh a little.

“I want you to take it with me” His eyes widened at your words and you swore he almost choked.

“I-I what?” Bucky’s voice was shaky as he spoke. It’s not that he hadn’t thought of it but he never expected you to take such a bold approach.

“You said i needed to relax…and i want to relax with you.” Your voice dropped an octave causing a shiver to run down his spine. Bucky nodded and slowly took off his shirt. You walked over to the sink with your back towards him before you slowly started taking off your clothes. He watched you undress and he swore he almost died right there. Never in a million years did he think he’d ever see you like this, naked and vulnerable. Once he undressed he walked up behind you and wrapped his hands around your bare waist.

His hands needed the soft skin making you groan in delight. He took your hands and lead you to the tub letting you get in first then he sat behind you. You laid back on his chest as his hands were around your waist again. It was in this moment the both of you knew you were no longer friends. His hands were under the water gripping and rubbing your skin with need. You rested your head on his chest and took one of his hands and moved it lower.

Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat when his fingers came into contact with your pussy. “Are you sure? Because if we do this there’s no going back. You’re mine” He said lowly against your ear causing you to shiver.

“I’m sure…I wanna be yours” You whispered looking up at him and he crashed his lips into yours taking his hands out of the water to cup your face. The kiss was everything you wished it would be with him, his lips were soft and he tasted like cherries.

Bucky turned you around and sat you over his lap so he could see your pretty face when he fucked you. His hands dipped back into the water and started to rub your pussy.

“So fucking tight” He praised sticking one of his thick fingers in you making you moan.

“Oh fuck” Your head starts to go fuzzy when Bucky curls his finger and hits your g-spot. He puts another one in making you grip onto his shoulders for dear life.

“So fucking perfect” His voice is gruff as he whispers in your ear before he starts kissing your neck. He takes his time leaving marks on your neck while fingering you with ease.

“I-I’m gonna cum-oh fuck-“ You feel your first orgasm rip through you when he hits that spot just right. Bucky smiles into your neck and continues to fuck your through your high.

“You did so good baby” Bucky praised you again giving you a sweet and gentle kiss. He then lifts you out of the tub not caring about the water all over the floor and brings you to his room. You giggle when he tosses you onto his bed and crawls to you so he’s on top.

“Are you sure you want this? We can still stop and pretend this never happened if thats what you want.” He asks rubbing his thumb over your cheek. Bucky didn’t want to stop but he also didn’t want you to do anything you’d regret and end up hating him.

“I’m sure you have no idea how bad i want this Bucky please fuck me” You beg clawing at his chest bringing him closer to you.

“Okay okay pretty girl” He chuckles moving down to your thighs. He kisses your soft skin with so much gentleness your heart melts. You buck your hips against him basically begging for him to be in you.

His strong hands grip your skin before he takes his cock in his hands giving it a few tugs. Once he’s hard he takes the tip and runs it through your dripping folds. Bucky slowly eases into you giving you a second to adjust to his size.

“S-So b-big daddy” You mewl feeling his cock hit your g-spot. He starts thrusting into you at a slow pace to ease you into it. You weren’t a virgin by any means but fuck Bucky was the biggest you’ve ever had. Your senses were filled to the brim with Bucky as he delightfully stretched you out.

“So fucking tight and warm” He praised picking up his pace. You gripped at his shoulders bringing him closer to you and bringing him in for a kiss. The two of you were fully intoxicated by each other in this salacious moment.

“Right there daddy oh fuck” You mewled throwing your head back and Bucky took advantage of your exposed neck. He sucked dark marks on your neck and smiled at his work.

“Take it baby take it like the good girl you are and let daddy fill you up” He grunted gripping your thighs with more force than before. You almost screamed at his words as they filled you will some need you didn’t know you had.

“P-Please fill me up daddy please breed me.” You begged making Bucky groan in satisfaction. He picked up his pace chasing his high.

“Such a good girl” He praised giving you another sweet kiss as you felt your orgasm building up. It didn’t take long for you both to finish with loud moans and heavy panting. Bucky filled you up with his load and fucked it into you making sure that none of it would drip out. Once he was satisfied that none would he slowly pulled out and laid next to you as you panted.

“I love you” He blurted out making you whip your heads towards him. He didn’t even realize what he said until you smiled at him and cuddled into him.

“I love you too” You said softly and he wrapped his arms around your waist and sigh happily. The two of you shared another sweet kiss before you two fell asleep in each other arms happy as ever.

~The end~

[parkerpeter24]

be alright

i’m sorry i really had my exams 😭 and i couldn’t write in december, but soon i am hoping to post winter blurbs

pairing ➳ tasm!peter x reader.

warnings: heavy angst. like forced kissing and a bit of grabbing.

masterlist

“it’s like you’re never here.” your voice came out shaky. it felt like the cold outside had gotten to you even through the closed window of your room and the radiator going in the room didn’t make you feel warm anymore.

december always felt like a lonely month to you, with your exams approaching and having no plans for christmas or the new year. it always felt unfair that your family got to enjoy while you stressed about your exams. but when you met peter, a little voice inside you told you that this year would be different.

you’d been dating for ten months now and it felt so natural with peter. he was always there for you, always holding your hand, always looking out for anything you needed, always helping you with your homework and your studies, always bringing you coffee.

until he wasn’t.

it stopped by the last of november. maybe it was the stress of all his college projects or maybe he was busy taking pictures to submit in hopes of finding a new job. you told yourself everything was fine for a month but now it wasn’t water under the bridge anymore. now all the avoided calls and the lack of his ‘good morning, beautiful’s had gotten to you.

so, in your state of desperation, you went to the only reliable source to reach peter. his aunt, may.

and it had worked.

when you looked up from your study and found your spandex clad boyfriend knocking at your window, you got up quickly and ran to open it. a little spark igniting in your chest and the voice told you that everything will be okay, finally.

peter climbed in and took off his mask, “you complained about me to may?” were his immediate words. his voice was no sort of sweet like you had expected and wished it to be, “what am i, a child?”

your mouth opened and closed, then opened again and then it closed. peter gave you a look of exasperation, making you frown. you watched him run a hand over his face as he shivered a little, the mix of cold from outside and the heat in your room getting to him.

the room felt eerily silent for a few seconds.

“i didn’t know how else to reach you.” you mumbled.

“just text me.” he sighed and turned to face you as you walked towards your desk, closing your notebooks, placing your pen on the last page you were writing on.

“i texted you hundreds of times!” your voice sounded rushed, “you never answer!”

“don’t you think that means i’m busy?” peter argued. you felt guilt rise and clench your heart in your chest. he sighed, “i was going to text you, but i was busy.”

“it’s like you’re never here.”

and that’s how the fight started. it felt like a fight. it felt like peter was throwing harsh words and pushing you away. you knew his tendency to do so when he thought he was doing something wrong. he knew he didn’t give you enough time and it got to him, and he took it out on no one other than yourself.

“that’s because i’m out there trying to save people.” he pointed a hand towards the window and you gulped, “i’ve got a lot on my plate.”

“so do i, peter.” you pleaded, your voice shrill, “i wish i wasn’t missing you so much but i do. i feel selfish for missing my own boyfriend, how’s that fair?!”

“i’m not trying to make you feel like that, you have to understand my responsibility towards the city-”

“yes, you have great responsibility! i know.” you gulped, watching his face harden. he looked colder, nothing like your peter. you tried again, “i know what you feel about the city… but don’t you think you’re overdoing it?”

he blinked, “overdoing it?”

“peter, you have a life outside spider-man.” you tried to reason with him, taking a step towards him. his brown locks looked so soft and you wished you could run your fingers through them.

“and you want that life to revolve around you.” he rolled his eyes, speaking matter of factly. his words may have been spoken in the heat of the moment, to you it felt well-thought. it felt like peter was slowly twisting the knife that had pierced through your heart.

“i didn’t say that.” you mumbled, feeling your eyes brim with tears. he avoided looking at your face. he knew that if he looked into your eyes, he would break. he would fall down to his knees and cry his heart out. and he couldn’t afford to do that right now.

“it felt like you wanted to.”

to you, it felt like both of you were trying to blame the other for everything that felt wrong. you wanted to throw your thickest history book at him but you also wanted to hold onto him and cry until all the stress you felt vanished away. you wanted to pull at your hair in frustration but you also wanted his soft hands running through your hair, comforting you.

but it was hard to realise the good things when you hadn’t seen the person you care most about in a month and he was not even trying to be civil. so you pushed those thoughts aside and retaliated.

“there was a time before spider-man.”

peter’s eyes snapped towards your face, cold and venomous, “what?”

“there was a time. when there was no spider-man. and the city was carrying on just fine!” your vision was blurred, jaw clenched as you finished, breathing harshly. your nails dug into the palm of your hands as you clenched your fists.

peter stood there, looking at you unbelievably. he was almost shaking from how tense his whole body was. you gulped, almost opening your mouth in an apology but before you could, peter’s voice reached your ears, hoarse and deep, “you said you missed me?”

you took a step back, intimidated by the way he was looking down at you. peter was taller than you but it had always been an intimate thing between the two of you. you liked being the ‘big’ spoon and he liked teasing you about it. but in this moment, it felt like he was a predator, staring down at his pray.

“pete-” you thought you could reason with him about this whole argument. about how stupid it was but he was taking fast steps to fill the distance between the two of you until you felt his breath of your face, “p-peter…”

“well, here i am.” he said, instantly grabbing the back of your neck, making you gasp as he pressed his lips harshly against yours. your hand instinctively flew to the back of his head as his lips mingled with yours. it didn’t start like the other times, it wasn’t sweet. it was rushed, and messy. your salty tears mixed into the kiss and peter’s hand in your hair tightened, pulling at it. you whimpered, but he didn’t stop. his other hand traveled to your hip, squeezing it with force, holding you against him.

you knew it was going to bruise badly in a few hours. he had trapped you between the desk and himself and even though it felt like he was violating all your space, you kissed him back, you tried to hold on to him. tried to calm him down but it didn’t feel like he was in charge of himself anymore.

you tried to push at his chest but you knew it was not gonna help. he was way too stronger against your normal human strength. you felt peter bite at your lip and you gasped at his harsh behaviour, feeling the copper taste fill your mouth when his tongue pushed past your lips. your fist collided with his chest once, trying to make him stop as more tears slid down your face.

you felt yourself sob when peter finally pulled back, but only to pull your hair, prompting your head to tilt backwards. his lips trailed over your neck, down to your collarbone.

“peter, stop!” you cried, trying to push him away from you, your hands hitting his shoulder, trying to snap him back to reality. his teeth dug into your skin and you gasped, “stop.”

you felt your knees buckle, trying to push him away and when peter finally looked up at your face he realised.

he finally realised what he was doing. his grip immediately loosened on your hair, and your hip. and your head sprang forward to reveal your busted lip, his doing. he was holding on to you, this time to stop you from falling down and as were you, hands clutching on to the wooden edge of your study desk.

you looked lost and peter looked petrified as he couldn’t catch your eyes even though he was looking right at them, “baby…”

watching you try to regain your posture, peter felt your hand still pressing against his chest to push him away and he backed off, letting you stand on your own, “i’m so… sorry.” he mumbled, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he watched you wipe your own.

you turned around, your back towards him. he couldn’t move, just staring at you back as he felt his heart fall to the pit of his stomach. he knew he deserved it. he wished you’d yell at him, hit him, do something so he knew how wrong he was. not like he didn’t already know.

“you should go.” your voice was so quiet. so quiet that if he wasn’t spider-man, he wouldn’t have heard it. but he listened to you. last thing he wanted to do right now was ignore you and end up hurting you more than he had for the last month. especially today.

he picked up his mask and you heard the shuffling of his feet. you heard the window slide open and you heard it close. and you heard the ‘thwip’ that took him away from you.

“and i was wondering if you’d clean out the back, you know the boxes and everything that’s clogging the garage entrance…” may trailed off, looking at her nephew who was in turn busy staring at his phone, “peter?”

the old lady placed a hand on her nephew’s shoulder when he didn’t respond, “peter.”

his head snapped towards her, eyes looking tired as ever as he locked his phone, sliding it in the pocket of his jacket, “sorry, i-”

“we don’t have to do this today.” she smiled at him kindly, “i’m sure miles would be okay with helping me. you could use some rest.”

“no, no, i got this.” peter stood up, “it’ll… it’ll keep me distracted.”

may nodded and started telling him all the things she needed cleared out from her garage. she was getting her house renovated, hoping to put a room on rent. it never hurt to have a few extra bucks in hand.

peter followed the instructions, sorting out stuff from the old boxes into the new ones so they could be donated or stored in better condition.

it had been five weeks since he saw your face after the way he left it. he was sure the bruises would be gone by now, at least the physical ones. he sighed and tried to focus on the task at hand but his mind kept wandering back to his phone screen. all the texts he’s sent and the way you hadn’t read them. he was surprised that you didn’t block him because he would have, if he was in the position you were in.

it was january now but peter knew your exams were still going on. he gave you as much space as you needed. however, it didn’t feel like new year without you. without your laughter, there was nothing happy about the new year for him. he tore his eyes away from the screen again and got back to the work. it was going to take way longer than expected if he kept letting his mind wander.

brushing his hands together when he was done, peter made his way inside the house through the garage door. he carried the box with the items may was going to donate.

he walked to the living area but the sudden sight of you standing in his aunt’s house made the box drop from his hands, the (thankfully) metal objects clanged against the polished wooden floor.

peter’s mouth opened, then closed– partly in disbelief, and partly in perplexity. his heart was hammering in his chest as he took a step towards you. for a minute he thought he was hallucinating. his desperation of getting another chance to just talk to you was getting to his head.

it was not until he reached right in front of you, less than five feet apart, and all breath knocked out of his lungs, that he spoke, “you’re… here.”

he was relieved when you responded, “i am.” you nodded almost formally, “i was here to donate some clothes. may asked.”

“oh.” he mumbled, nodding back at you in acknowledgement.

there was a moment where no one spoke. neither of you knew how to, or what to, talk about in this moment. the door to the house was closed but somehow peter felt a gust of wind flow– maybe he left the garage door opened– but that was last of his worries.

“so…” he started quietl, “how are your exams going?”

“good. good. well enough.” you shrugged, “today was the last one actually… so i thought why not clear out my closet too.”

“that sounds nice.” a small smile appeared over his face.

now as the two of you stood in front of each other, it felt like there was nothing else to talk about except for the elephant in the room.

“about our fight…” you started at the same time as peter.

“you look better.”

then both of you went quiet at the same time.

“you go first.”

peter nodded, “i know what i did was unforgivable. i’m not gonna ask you to forgive me. b-but i will keep apologising for it. i will try to make up to you if you let me.” he rushed through his thoughts. you could tell he was being sincere even though his eyes didn’t meet yours. then he surveyed the surroundings, quietly mumbling to you, “it was the lizard. everything was so crazy and i almost got killed and i didn’t want you to worry so i tried to push you away. and my head was going in circles it…”

peter quieted down when he felt you close the gap between the two of you. your arms wrapped around his shoulders and peter froze. until he realised that he should hug you back. a soft sigh left him as soon as his arms were around you and he realised how much he’d missed this.

“i missed this.” you mumbled, as if reading his thoughts.

“i missed this too. i’m sorry i hurt you. a lot.” peter pressed a kiss to your hairline and you closed your eyes, reveling in the feeling for as long as you could.

“i know you didn’t mean to.” you looked up at him when you parted from the hug, “i was really stressed too. i shouldn’t have said things about spider-man. i know how much it means to you and i don’t even know how this city was lucky enough to have a guy like you looking after it. i guess i got jealous.” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

peter gave you a smile, “you know you come before everything for me.”

you smiled in return, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it once, “so then… i’ll get going.”

“oh.” peter sighed, disappointment clear in his voice, “can i…” you waited for him to finish his sentence, “take you out on a date?”

you smiled slightly, relieved to find the same old boy you used to love after what felt like an excruciatingly long time and for a moment, as you nodded ‘yes’ to his question, it felt like everything will after all, be alright.

[aloesarchives]

Birthday Special(JJK Oneshot)

TW/Warnings: Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, Family life, Slight self-coded Fem!Reader

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her, Mom/Mama (Though no physical description, reader had some self-coded elements)

Word count: 1.5k words

Decided to write something because today is my birthday(May 3rd)! And I'm officially 21! Thank you all for you love and support for the past 7 months of me writing for JJK! Also, this is the Valentine's day I referred to.

“Papa, you’re thinking too hard about this. You know Mama doesn’t ask for much.”

“Yeah, Dad. It shouldn’t be hard to get mom a present. Remember that full-size green tea hand and body lotion you got her? She was way too happy about it and was on the verge of crying happy tears.”

Toji sighs as his kids are behind him trying to ease his stress. Once again, like Valentine’s day, he was struggling to get a present for you. But this time, the stakes are higher because today is your birthday. Not some holiday Toji remembers because it’s one of the many times of the year capitalism does a complete take over for the sake of consumerism, which he can never avoid every time he goes out.

Though his kids have a point, he always wanted to do or get something for you. While you do the occasional mall shopping, it wasn’t often. Maybe once a month if lucky. This always posses a problem for the three because you were the best gifter in the family. Knowing what to give to anyone but only hinting at minute items. Thus having to think outside of the box or really watch your eyes latch onto anything longer than seven seconds. 

Megumi and Tsumiki don’t blame Toji for struggling since your demands weren’t demands but rather promises. You have been nothing but good to Toji for almost two decades. Something Toji knows many people take something like that for granted. Unfortunately, becomes terrifying to know how easily many fall under a dark spell. And Toji fears himself on certain days for not giving what you deserved.

“I know, Megumi. But your mother deserves nice things for herself. She still wears the necklace I gave her when you two were young. That’s almost ten years. Now, you both do some scooping while watching the time. We have to get the cake at 3:45pm.”

The siblings looked at each other before shaking their heads in helping their father’s hunt for a perfect present. They looked around the vast sea of stores to give themselves for any ideas. They were overthinking this whole process because every idea was shot down at the reality that you did have everything you ever wanted.

You have everything you ever wanted is what you always said to them.

Perhaps there’s something else they can give you that reminds of that. The lightbulb above Tsumiki’s head went off as she asked Toji the jewelry store he got the necklace from. He becomes curious as she scans the windows for something until stopping and pointing. Toji and Megumi look over to a display of multiple charm bracelets. 

“If Mama has the necklace with us in it, why can’t she get a matching bracelet to go along with it? She doesn’t have one that does.”

Now, Toji and Megumi were seeing Tsumiki’s vision.

“Good eye, kiddo. Shame on me for not thinking about that sooner.”

Toji lets Tsumiki handle the bracelet creation, occasionally having him and Megumi to be on the same page. Once finalized, Toji goes to fish his wallet for his card to give to Tsumiki to pay. After printing the receipt, the lady gives the card back but it ends up dropping onto the marble counter. Megumi cringes at the metallic clanging it made so he grabs it for Tsumiki to give back to his dad. Everyone in the store glances over at them as Toji puts the card away. Megumi raises a brow at his father because Toji had a smirk plastered on his lips.

“Why are you smirking?”

Toji pockets his hands as he looks at him.

“Don’t worry about it, Megs. Just know there aren't a lot of people with metal credit cards. Anyway, we gotta get movin’ because we need to pick up your Mama’s birthday cake and food for dinner.”

Tsumiki joins them as they head off to finish birthday shopping. Once getting home, they set up everything for you to come home to. By the time you come home, they’re done. Making your presence known, you relax into your humble abode. You walked yourself into the kitchen to see what your family has set up for you.

“Happy Birthday, Mom!”

You're greeted by a hug from each of your kids. Chuckling at the surprise they always seem to do when the day is about you. You hold them close and kiss their foreheads as their hugs re-energize you. Once parting, they made way for their father as your husband stands over you. Holding that dumb grin that you fell in love with over these years.

“Happy Birthday, Doll~.”

Giving a forehead kiss of his own, he holds you ever so softly but with the affectionate firmness. You giggled at how Toji is when it comes to physical touch. He can’t seem to get enough of it. Before eating dinner, you wanted to blow out the candles so they could eat the cake afterwards. The kids say their part and end with “We love you, Mom. Always.” Toji cracks a joke that always makes Megumi roll his eyes before getting into his own sentimental speech.

“Thank you for spending almost 20 years of your life with me. Happy Birthday, (Y/N).”

Ugh, and that softness he had at the end. Made you want to kiss him with all the love and warmth. You thought it’s time to eat dinner when Toji pulls out a small pink bag and places it in front of you. Surprised, you looked around at your family.

“What’s this, guys?”

“It’s for you, Mama. From us.”

Though curious, you smiled as you looked into the bag and pulled out a small box. Upon opening it, you couldn’t stop the smile that took over. There, in the box, was a silver charm snake chain bracelet with a small (F/C) gem at the center of a beautiful silver heart charm. But that’s not make you smile. It came from when your eyes landed on the other three charms attached to the bracelet. Two of those were dangling charms, one of an elegant flower and the other of a small silver puppy. The other charm was a clip-on with the colors of dark blue and black. You recognized them to represent the three that ultimately fulfilled the word “family” for you. 

The flower is Tsumiki as it was her favorite color, the puppy was obviously Megumi, and the last one is Toji for sure. Your smile began to painfully pull at your lips because you realized Toji’s charm closely resembles his wedding ring. Clasping the bracelet on your wrist, you admired how it looked on you.

“It was the kids’ idea to do this. I just paid for it, Hon.”

You knew Toji’s lying but didn't have it in you to call him out. This gift was just too perfect. You go over to give your motherly affection to thank Megumi and Tsumiki, your two children that gave meaning to your motherhood. Once having enough, you go over to Toji. The man you undoubtedly cherish and completely devote yourself to, your husband and your other half. You hug Toji lovingly, taking in his warmth and presence. Nothing in this world brings you comfort and ease than the man you choose to love never made you regret giving your heart and soul to.

Toji just chuckles with his signature grin, returning the hug with the same amount of affection. Yet your children can see the adoration and tenderness in his eyes, knowing full well he never looked at anyone that way because you’re the only one to bring it out of him. Looking up at your Toji, your gaze softens but your smile still holds its homeyness. He stares down at you before he leans in for a kiss you gladly accept. Even Megumi smiles with his sister while watching their parents express their love for one another, seeing them pull away from the kiss.

“They’re truly your kids since they always knew how to give me gifts. It goes with my necklace now. Thank you for this.” Saying as you smile up at him.

“Ah~, they knew because they have  good eyes. Just like their mama. Happy Birthday, (Y/N). Thank you for your love…and thank you for being you.”

The absolute tender affirmation was unlike any other. Though your birthday was a reminder of how many years you’ve been on here, it also serves as a reminder of your milestones over the years. Looking at your life, you got the best out of it. A family of your own and the love from someone who’s been with you through it all. As you tell Megumi and Tsumiki to go ahead and eat, you lock eyes with Toji. Both filled with a love no one can feel except the two of you. Toji hugs you close from behind as you interlace your hands into his, feeling your bracelet pressed up against him. Gazing upon Megumi and Tsumiki, both of your creations born out of each other’s unmatched love for one another.

This will be added into one of your many best birthdays you had.

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[mothwingwritings]

Can we have Ren/Fox (TPOF) and Mc with a child?Long after Fox decided to stay with MC, they both had a daughter (probably not something with consent and a bit of Stockholm syndrome).The daughter asks her mother how she got the scars and this makes MC have memories of post-traumatic stress.

I was so tickled by this ask that I started manically typing out a response for it nearly as soon as I saw it in my ask box (which at this point, was quite some time ago. Forgive me, I am a mess lul). I wrote the whole damn thing in a fit of passion, excited to release it into the world… But ultimately hated it and thought it was garbo, so I scrapped it and tried again. Wrote a second iteration and thought ‘hell yeah, this is it!!! Sick!’, but then I read it AND HATED THAT ONE TOO AAAHHH!!!

I rewrote this… so much…

But I never give up on my dreams, and you shouldn’t either! Persevere! Don’t give up on yourself! Here’s your daily motivation for the day! Keep writing even it makes you cry!!! :D

Anyway, so I wrote this third one, comprised of new stuff and the stuff I actually did like from the first two stabs, and it ended up being the one. Truly it is a Frankenstein of a fic lol. Regardless of all the reworking, I had a lot of fun writing this and enjoyed the prompt very much!!! I I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. :)

I’m sorry if the writing seems a tad too mature for the reader’s daughter in this, writing children isn’t my forte. ^^;

Due to the nature of this fic, IT IS 18+ ONLY!!! Thank you!

WARNINGS: Incessant mentions of abuse of all kinds for reader and mentions of physical abuse for her child!!! Reader is heavily scarred from said abuse and that’s a main theme in this fic so please avoid if that is upsetting to you. Also, though not the main focus, there are multiple mentions of child abuse in this fic, as well a part where reader goes off verbally on her child, so please be mindful of that as well! Other things of note: reader is a parent in this (which you can probably tell by the prev warning lol), reader getting hurt, blood, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, being held against your will/isolation, mentions of noncon, sad family stuff :(

Diminishing rays of afternoon light splayed through the open window of your quaint living room, casting a comforting orange glow over everything they touched. The light gave the environment an ethereal and nostalgic feel, wrapping you in peaceful warmth as the sun sunk lower and lower. The loveseat you occupied was plush and inviting, and a mug of your favorite tea stood at the ready on the small coffee table beside you, steadily cooling with help from the last hurrah of winter blowing in gently from the outside. Besides the slight chill, the wind brought with it the heavy scent of freshly bloomed flowers, a delightful precursor to the oncoming spring.

Relishing the rare moment of serenity, you couldn’t help but wish that all your days could be this lovely.

You smiled down at your daughter who sat perched in your lap, happily flipping through the newest gift she had acquired from her Father- a thick picture book full of bright illustrations highlighting various exotic animals. As it lay sprawled across her tiny lap, her chubby finger pointed out each animal she took an interest in, her high pitched voice chirping away as she explained what she liked about the creatures. She got particularly excited when she spotted the page full of foxes, jabbing at the red one feverishly as she exclaimed “its daddy!”

Spotting the foxes began her down a path of assigning an animal to not just herself, but you as well. She didn’t find it fair that only her father had kin in the animal world, even though you pointed out that she technically did as well by sharing half the man’s blood. Your revelation did little to deter her, she wanted something new, something just for herself, and she wasn’t going to stop until she found her perfect soul animal. So she continued on, scanning each page in earnest until she found a creature that suited her.

She ended up picking a bunny for herself, supplying you with a comprehensive reason as to why she chose it. As she explained in great length, skimping no details, you couldn’t help but hold back laughter. She spoke as if she were a professor teaching a class, and you did your best to keep a straight face as she yammered on with her shoddy reasoning, deep down knowing she only picked a rabbit because of how cute they are.

After she was done waxing poetic about bunnies, she continued scouring the book, coming to a halt once she reached the wild cat section. She stopped with a gasp, beaming up at you as she pressed her finger firmly against one of the images on the page.

“Mommy this one is you!”

Your eyes traveled to the picture she was rapidly tapping, “An African Wildcat, huh?” You smirked down at the little girl in amusement, “Why did you pick that one for me?”

“Because it looks just like you!”

You chuckled at her enthusiasm, “It looks like me? How so?”

“It has marks just like you do!”

Her innocuous words sent a chill up your spine. Eying the stripes that crossed the cat’s legs, you felt a great unease begin to overtake your body. Her reasoning was not lost on you, the cats coat did quite resemble the jagged scars that covered nearly every inch of your body, and just like the feline in her book, your limbs were the most prominent location of said ‘markings’. You quickly shook your head, not wanting to dwell on it further. In hopes of moving on from the subject, the outpouring of words that flew from your mouth were jumbled and messy.

“O-oh, I see,” you stuttered, clearing your throat to steady your voice, “well you certainly picked a cute animal for me! Thank you baby, it was a good choice.”

She smiled at you innocently, a gesture that usually made your heart melt with affection. But as her tiny hands moved from the book to your arms, that smile did nothing but fill you with dread, the realization that you wouldn’t be getting out of this sticky situation hitting you like a brick to the face. 

“Yeah mommy, the kitty’s marks are just like these ones,” her stubby fingers gently traced the old wounds, a look of reverence reflected on her cherubic features. “They make you look like that kitty mommy,” her little voice cooed, “I like them a lot!”

Your muscles constricted at her words, a slight tremor coursing through you as you involuntarily tightened your grip on her. She took note of this, looking up at your strained features with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Don’t be sad mommy,” she spoke assuredly, “I really do like them! I think they are pretty!”

Her words burned you, scorching the inside of your frozen shell of a body, leaving you feeling sickly and discombobulated. The room around you started to spin in a hazy blur, a wave of nausea making you nearly wretch. Your breathing grew erratic as you tried to calm yourself, inwardly repeating that your daughter was just a child, a little girl barely four years of age who had an incredibly limited view of the world. Her words were not meant to upset you. Her opinions were coming from a place of total naivety.

Yet still, the mental assurance did little to help with the extremely uncomfortable position you now founds yourself in. It wasn’t as if this was her first time noticing your scars. She had mentioned them before, her curious mind trying to piece together the reason that her arms appeared different from your own. Each time she brought your old wounds up you couldn’t help but feel flustered, responding with weak explanations and misdirection to try and quickly brush off her questioning.

The marks came from a silly mistake, or a childhood accident, or from a careless moment when mommy should have been paying more attention. It was always excuses on repeat. How many lies had you told her on this topic alone?

But even if they were lies, it beat telling her the truth. You didn’t want to have to explain where the scars on your body actually came from to anyone, let alone a child, and especially not to your own daughter. How could you possibly word it gently, or in a way that she would understand, when you barely understood why you had them yourself? How could you look her in the eye and tell her that these markings were a permanent sign that you had been very, very hurt and that it was her own fathers hands that inflicted the pain?

Reliving the horrific moments that left your body in such a state was overwhelming enough on its own, but to also have to lay bare her father’s sins, relay to her the unsavory proclivities of a man who she idolized and adored, was not something you were keen on doing.

She didn’t know her daddy like you knew him. She was ignorant to the constant state of concern you lived in, unaware of the worries that plagued your mind and kept you up each night. All the troubles of the hell she had been born into were completely lost on the small, carefree girl.

But honestly that was for the best. You had made an unspoken promise the moment she entered your life that you would protect her no matter what. From the day of her birth onward it became your mission to keep her as happy and healthy as possible.

Ren had broken you, but she did not have to suffer the same fate.

At this point in her life, your daughter knew nothing of her daddy’s profession or ‘hobbies’, and you wanted it to remain that way for as long as possible, if not for the rest of her life. You dreaded each time Ren came home from an auction, terrified he may let casually slip too many details about his ‘lively client’ or that he would carelessly step through the door with the stains of his liaisons still littering his clothes. Your daughter was at an age where she was brimming with questions, and she was relentless in getting answers to each question she asked. Everything had to be explained in complete detail for her to be satisfied, drop the subject, and move on. She was a smart little thing, possibly too smart for her own good. You highly doubted a silly joke or wave of the hand would assuage her whirring mind should Ren grow too impetuous in her presence.

And should her questioning become too pesky, you fretted over what Ren’s reaction to it may be. The more you tried to avoid thinking about it the more you seemed to fixate on the topic, pondering just how much goading it would take from your daughter before his temper would rear its ugly head.  You, above anyone, had firsthand experience in just how volatile the man could be, the scars that littered your body a testament to his turbulent emotions and violent outbursts.

Looking back on it now, it’s a wonder you survived any of it at all.

Ren often told you he loved you, each confession spoken through honeyed words that spilled from his lips easily and often.  And while you didn’t doubt those words (you knew better than to, at this point), you also knew his sweet nothings weren’t merely a term of endearment, they also served as your curse. He loved you, but he also loved your fealty to him, your adoration and worship of him and only him. Should you not reciprocate his feelings as quickly or ardently as he expected, the mere thought of whatever punishment he would concoct was enough to send you into a debilitating panic attack.

There were few things he loathed more than when you flinched from his affection or if you exhibited any sign of distress towards his presence, especially after he had spent so many years going above and beyond to provide for you, devote himself to you. You had learned early on to keel any feelings of aversion you had to his advances, several of your more prominent scars a brutal reminder of that misstep alone.

 If your daughter uncovered the truth and saw her father for who he truly was, if she began to fear him the way you feared him, how would he respond?  If not only his partner, but his own daughter started shying away from him, what length would he go to to correct this behavior?

Dwelling on it made your skin crawl.

But perhaps all of your worries were asinine. Despite his inclination for cruelty, Ren had never so much as raised a hand towards your daughter, even when she did act up. If anything, he was overprotective of her, barely letting her move faster than a brisk jog lest she fall and hurt herself. He hated seeing his little girl experience even a modicum of physical pain, mentioning to you previously that were he able, he’d keep her locked up in a padded room all day and night to prevent any foreseeable accidents or injuries. Surely it was just his idea of a joke, but the insinuation still made you cringe.

It was almost comical, just how greatly the manifestation of his affection for her differed from how he showed his love for you.

His domineering nature shielded her from experiencing any true pain. Every scrape, bruise, and cut she ever received was superficial, nothing that caused major bleeding or left a lasting impression. She had no way of knowing what had been done to you to cause the scars that marred your form, the torment and hell you experienced with each slash, smack, burn. Hell, she probably didn’t even really understand what a scar actually was. All she knew was that her mommy and daddy had strange marks on their skin that didn’t follow any kind of set pattern, weird jagged lines and indents that her soft skin was curiously free from. The mystery of it all was as puzzling to her young mind as it was enticing.

However, some mysteries were best left unsolved, and just as with each other time she brought up this hot topic, you found yourself unable to look into her clear, bright eyes and tell her any semblance of the truth. She may have been forced upon you, but she was your daughter. You loved her, and you refused to be the one to shatter her innocence. You would keep her ignorant for as long as possible, shielding her to the endless nightmare of your daily lives, even if it cost you your sanity.

“Mommy,” her voice jarred you, dragging you from your thoughts, “mommy did you hear me? I said I think they are pretty!”

“T-that’s… I…” You stuttered, struggling to find the right words to say, your voice coming out much smaller than you intended it to. The room felt like it had dropped thirty degrees, your body twitching in response to the sudden chill.

“Daddy told me he gave some of them to you, like this one,” her pudgy, cold finger pressed into the faded heart that resided on your chest, the first of many indelible sins he had etched onto your form. Only the top half of the carved symbol was viewable above the collar of your shirt, so she tugged at the loose hem until she could see it in its horrible entirety.

“Daddy said he gave you this one because he loves you so much,” her voice grew quiet, a thoughtful look in her eye as they drank in wounds you wished you could forget, “Daddy loves me too, right mommy? You think he’ll give me a cute heart someday too?”

You felt as if you had been hit by a train.

“S-top,” the words were forced from your throat, airy and breathless, as if someone was wringing your neck to make them come out, “p-please, just stop talking.”

“What did you say mama,” your daughters sing-song voice responded as her fingers continued to trace and prod your scars, “You are whispering, is it a secret?”

“I told you to SHUT UP!”

As if following your command, your booming voice instantly silenced the small girl. Unused to such a violent outburst from her mother, her happy-go-lucky nature quickly shifted to one of alert, her tiny body going rigid as she stared up at you with fearful eyes.

Seeing her in such a state and knowing that you were the cause of it would normally have killed you inside, making you fall to your knees to beg for the child’s forgiveness. But right now, the thin thread that had been holding you together had snapped, and your words rushed out in a torrent you couldn’t begin to quell.

“Shut up, shut up, shut UP!” You seethed, clasping your hands to your ears to try and block out your own intrusive voice, “Just STOP TALKING about it! What are you even saying? Why would you ever want to look like this?!”

Tears started to flood your eyes, blurring the image of the girl who had quickly jumped from your lap and was now cowering before you. Through your bleary vision, you could see tears were brimming her eyes as well.

“You… You have no idea,” your voice warbled, shaking in equal parts grief and frustration, “You have no clue what you are saying, so just STOP IT. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!”

You slunk from the chair down to the floor, burying your face in your cold, stiff hands. The soft blubbering of your daughter could be heard through your own sobbing.

“I-I’m sorry mommy. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Hearing her broken voice began to shatter the spell you had been under, instant regret jerking you roughly back to reality. Your head sunk lower, your body scrunching itself up as tightly as possible to hide from this cruel reality.

Your screams were born from deeply buried feelings of hatred, tucked far, far away as a means of self-preservation. For a moment, you felt as if you despised your daughter, her existence tethering you to this wretched excuse of a life, binding you irrevocably to Ren. But as you lifted your heavy head, glancing up to stare into her young face, a face so very similar to your own, a face contorted in panic and sadness over her mother’s abrupt descent into madness… you realized it wasn’t her that you hated.

It was yourself.

Your daughter didn’t deserve this. She deserved normalcy. She deserved a father that didn’t pose a threat to her. She deserved a mother that wasn’t ruined by his hands. She deserved a happy and untroubled life, not to be stuck being raised in a barbed cage, navigating her way through life with nothing but the shattered remains of a battered woman to guide her.

“I’m so sorry,” you choked under the weight of your overwhelming emotions, snot and tears running freely down your ruddy cheeks and chin, “I’m so, so sorry baby…”

“What the hell is going on?”

You hadn’t heard the front door open, nor had you heard Ren’s jubilant greeting as he entered your home. He had no doubt been upset by the lack of welcome-it was one thing to be ignored by a child, but his doting wife? That was not something he was not apt to look past.

But surely any feelings of annoyance or frustration fled from his mind the moment he entered the room, his eyes falling upon your crumpled, messy form collapsed on the floor. You cursed his arrival, upset that he entered the scene at such a compromising time, right as you were struggling to regain an ounce of composure and properly apologize to the little girl who had done nothing wrong.

“D-daddy,” your daughter’s voice warbled as she barreled towards him, colliding into his waiting embrace. You wiped at your face in a desperate attempt to hide your previous outpouring of emotions, doing your best to avoid eye contact with Ren as his sharp gaze quickly flicked from you, to his daughter.

This had already become enough of a scene without Ren’s interference, it was best to try and begin damage control now. 

“Daddy I-I made mommy cry!” Tears continued to pour from your daughter’s eyes, her face twisting into a look of pure dismay. Her misguided admission of guilt made you recoil, knowing full well it would grant her no favors with the person she seeking comfort from. “I’m really sorry daddy! I didn’t mean to!”

After several endless seconds of silence, Ren spoke.

“… You made her cry?”

His voice was far sharper than it needed to be, further agitating the precarious state of affairs. In most cases he would have offered your daughter leniency, letting her get away with far more than she probably should. However that leniency was null and void if you ended up suffering in the process.  Ren could not forgive anyone that caused you any duress (himself, of course, being the exemption) even if that person was his own flesh and blood.

“What do you mean you made her cry? What the hell did you do to her?”

“I-I don’t know,” she wailed, a fresh wave of tears spurred on by the accusatory tone of her father’s voice, “I just told mommy I thought her marks were pretty and then she started crying! I wasn’t lying daddy, I like them! I think they make mommy look really pretty!”

“Her marks…?” Ren’s look of vexation began to dissipate as the meaning of her words donned on him. He lifted his arm, rolling up his sleeve to reveal his own scars to the little girl. Pointing a clawed finger to them, he leaned down until he was looking her in the eye, “You mean like these?”

As she nodded her head vigorously in confirmation, Ren tutted, “That’s the reason for all the water works? An innocent compliment started all this fussing?” He scoffed, shaking his head, “Isn’t that a little bit… silly?

You tensed at the sound of his barking laugh, your frown deepening as an amused grin spread wider across his lips. You wished that you could say it was shocking for him to have such disregard after finding the two of you in such an agitated state, but it was painfully in character of him to shrug off your misery and suffering as inconsequential.  How he could so nonchalantly normalize this hellish situation he kept you and your child ensnared in, you would never understand.

Your daughter was apparently sharing similar thoughts, as her face began to once more morph into a pre-sobbing scowl. She was no doubt wounded that her father was not offering her the comfort she was seeking, her emotional state already greatly weakened by her mother’s venomous tantrum.

To help quell another round of tears, Ren pulled the child closer, wrapping her up in his arms so that her tiny form was nearly enveloped by him.  “Shhh, no more tears angel,” he cooed sweetly, patting her head gently to appease her, “There isn’t any reason to cry, especially because… Well, you’re right! Mommy’s whole body is pretty, isn’t it? Her marks just compliment the beauty that’s already there.”

Slowly but surely, her tears began to dissipate. Hunched over shoulders loosened, and sniffles and hiccups gave way to even breathing. Like clockwork, her father’s gentle handling soothed her, the same touch that destroyed you offering her salvation.

As if under a spell, the turmoil that had overcome your daughter quickly began to vanish, her sobbing fading into quiet sniffles. Once she was fully calmed, Ren continued speaking, “That’s all you meant to say to mommy, right angel? I’m sorry she took it the wrong way, she’s probably just tired or hungry, you know how mommy gets. She’ll get over it in no time flat!”

Heat spread through your body at his flippant dismissal of your feelings, an indignant blush lighting your cheeks as you gripped your hands tightly at your side. Your previous emotional episode left you all but drained, but your will to fight back against his callous commentary could never truly be contained.

“In fact, I bet she is already over it now,” Ren’s voice took on a jovial tone as he directed his focus solely on you, “Aren’t you, pumpkin?”

With the ball suddenly in your court, you flinched as both sets of expectant eyes fell on you. Your own eyes darted from Ren’s piercing glare, down to your daughter’s wide-eyed look of unbridled hope. You felt much like the rabbit that had been caught by the fox, stuck in a lose-lose situation. Seeing him hunched over her small body as she clutched to him as a life line, openly concerned that her mother may once more reject her while her father remained a bastion of strength and understanding, left you reeling. Either you would get heated again and stay the villain, but possibly hold on to an ounce of your dignity, or concede to Ren and have yet another piece of your soul wither away and die-the price to pay so that your daughter could remain in blissful ignorance for another day.

“Aren’t you, pumpkin?” He repeated himself slowly, enunciating each word. The kindness in his voice serving only as a mask for the threat buried beneath.

“Y-yes,” you responded quickly, shooting them both a smile you hoped was convincing, “I am very sorry, baby. Daddy is right. Mommy is just… tired.”

A serene smile lit her face, your words placating her. Seeing her happy once more helped relieve a bit of the ache in your own heart, making the lie worth it.

“Good, good,” Ren affirmed with a nod, carefully detaching himself from your daughter as he stood, “but you know little one, mommy deserves some love too, don’t you think? She may have been in the wrong, but it’s not nice to make her cry like that. Why don’t you go give her a hug, hm?”

With no further persuading necessary, she quickly padded over to you, hopping on your lap with so much enthusiasm that it nearly knocked the wind from you. Her arms tightly latched around your torso as she smushed her face into your chest, rubbing it back and forth like she was trying to burrow beneath your skin.

“I love you mommy,” her voice spoke clearly, any hint of previous sadness long gone. You sighed, relieved that this dramatic chapter was over as you pulled your daughter closer to you.

“I love you too.”

During this show of affection, Ren had made his way behind you, slinking so deftly you hadn’t even known he had moved until you heard him chuckle softly behind you.

“This is what I like to see,” he spoke with a sickeningly dreamy sigh, “nothing makes me happier than when my two girls are happy.”

He placed his hands gingerly atop your shoulders, trailing them down until they rested on your arms. His thumbs pressed gently against the marred skin, rubbing in a small circular motion in an attempt to subdue you. His claws grazed your flesh, uncomfortably scratching against you as they snagged against your skin.

He planted a firm and lingering kiss to the side of your head, pulling away just enough that his lips grazed the shell of your ear. “There really was nothing to cry about,” he whispered breathily, his words quiet enough that despite your daughters’ proximity, she would have no chance of hearing them. “It’s almost unfair how gorgeous you are, scars and all. But you must know that, right my sweet pet? I tell you all the time.”

Ren took in a deep breath, releasing it in a shaky sigh, “Seeing these scars reminds me of all we have been through, all that we share. They are a symbol of our bond.”

One of his claws pressed down sharply, a small bead of blood pooling around the piercing. Leisurely he began to drag his finger up your arm, a thin red line following in its wake. You shivered at the burning sensation, but deigned to give him any reaction further than that.

“Don’t forget pumpkin, these pretty marks are a reminder of my constant love for you.” He chuckled softly, peppering a few kisses to the back of your neck while his claws slowly sunk deeper, “And right now I am feeling  terribly sentimental, so for old times’ sake, why don’t I add a few more to remind you just how precious to me you are~?”

[hannie-dul-set]

STAR STUDDED BAGGAGE [1].

SYNOPSIS. the saying “never meet your idols” exists for a reason. you just didn’t expect the reason to be because said idols would end up declaring that you’re their alleged lover from a past life (past lives, rather). now you have three big celebrities vying for your attention, and it’s not as dreamlike as you imagined it to be.

PAIRINGS. choi yeonjun, choi soobin, choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRES. reincarnation! au, celebrity! au (soloist! yeonjun, actor! soobin, rock band member! beomgyu), slight college! au, slight historical! au, rom-com, angst if you squint, reverse harem woohoo. WARNINGS. swearing, secondhand stress HHAHAHAH. WORD COUNT. 2.9k.

TAGLIST. @seokgyuu @spjhyn @bat-shark-repellant @writingmeraki @lotties-readings @jenodreamer @gyuspeach @lexawoah13 @dvalitaes @agustdiv1ne @enhacatalog @soobs-things @tocupid @wonsays @kgneptun @sarang-ae @peaceout97 @outrologist @prettypei @luv4cheol @captivq @kueey @matcha-binz @loveherrschxr @haechology @bitehee @laylasbunbunny

NOTE. and so it begins!! grabbed seventeen’s “second life” and gave it to beomgyu’s band, by the way. future chapters will be a lot longer bcs this one is sort of just an introduction. please lmk what u think so far!!

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 1 — the consequences of working with a choi.

One.

“I told you I won’t do any romance dramas!”

Choi Soobin isn’t usually one to throw tantrums. He’s gentleness itself, says the media. The loveliest, most humble and soft-spoken angel to have ever graced South Korea’s entertainment industry. Interviewees praise him for being so kind and warm. Award-winning actor Lee Minyuk decided to adopt him the day they first met while working on a drama just a year ago.

He’s so nice, so sweet, so lovely— a stark contrast to the roles he usually plays, but that doesn’t take away from the songs of praise that articles and Twitter posts usually string along with Choi Soobin’s name.

All of this is true of course. As long as you’re not contractually obligated to babysit his whiny, picky, six foot tall ass every single day.

“Soobin, why don’t you give it another—”

“This is ridiculous,” he huffs, crossed armed on the sofa with a tattered script sitting on the low coffee table before him. Manager Lee feels a headache kicking in. Why is this bastard acting up when the interns are in the office? Those two simply wanted to deliver the scripts for Soobin to pick from, but they are looking at his actor’s surprising behavior with wide eyes. Now, it’s going to be his job to make sure that they don’t run their mouths about the nation’s alleged first love actually being a spoiled brat.

“Soobin,” Manager Lee exhales for the nth time. This script is from Writer Kang. The Writer Kang! She wrote this script with you in mind as the lead. Can you at least maybe reconsider—”

“I’m not doing it.” Soobin won’t budge. He’s got a visibly troubled and offended look on his face and his manager wants to smack him upside in the head. How could he not understand that this is an opportunity of a lifetime? “Hyung, you know the reason why I even signed to this company in the first place. I’m not doing it. Absolutely not.”

He picks up the script like it’s a dirty rag— disgusted expression to match— only to reveal a page that suddenly prompts him to throw the entire thing across the room. The two interns flinch. Manager Lee feels his hair turning gray by the second.

“There’s a kissing sce— agh! Gosh! What will my soulmate think if she sees me kissing another woman?!”

“Soul...soulmate?” unfortunate intern number one voices out hesitantly.

“Is...Choi Soobin seeing someone right now?” asks number two, and Manager Lee wants to retire early. His actor is still ranting on and on about how there’s no way in hell he’s taking on this role. He doesn’t really wanna deal with that right now.

“No. He’s not seeing anybody. He’s never been in a relationship before.”

Manager Lee knows this because he’s been Soobin’s manager since the young star was still seventeen, when he was still as nice and well-behaved as the tabloids made him out to be. That same kid is now a grown adult and shuddering over a possible kissing scene in a screenplay. “Ahh. I can’t do this, I seriously can’t do this, hyung!” Fame does change people. Manager Lee wants seventeen year-old Soobin back.

“Then...then who is his soulmate…?”

It’s hard to imagine that an A-List star like Choi Soobin is suffering from unrequited love. “A woman from his past life,” answers Manager Lee. “Or so he says.” The interns look at him. Come—come again? their expressions seem to say. Manager Lee lets out an exasperated sigh. This one’s even harder to comprehend.

“Hyung,” Soobin finally calls out for him. Lee returns his attention to his artist, who’s now flipping through the other scripts on the table with an even more disgruntled expression. “Hyung, are these all the offers I have? They’re all romance! Don’t we have other options?!”

“The CEO wants you to expand your roles, Soobin,” Manager Lee flatly replies. “Your fans too. You can’t keep doing action-mystery-thrillers forever. It’s a waste of your visuals. They want to see you in lighter things too.” He walks over to pick up the first rejected script from the floor, dropping it in front of Soobin, who is currently a deflated balloon.

He’s changed. But sometimes it feels as though his artist hasn’t grown up ever since they first met.

“If you take Writer Kang’s drama, you’ll get even bigger, Soobin.”

“I’m not interested in fame,” Soobin mumbles, shoulders slacked and dejected. “I just want—”

“If you gain ever more fame, expand your reach, won’t that mean your soulmate can find you sooner as well?” Soobin takes the bait. He flinches upon hearing the word he’s been chasing after ever since, a glimpse of consideration flashing through his expression as he nips down his bottom lip. Manager Kim lands a hand on his shoulder. “Think about it, kid. You shouldn’t waste opportunities like this.”

Soobin lets out a breath. “I’ll...I’ll give it some thought.”

Dear god, finally. Manager Lee ushers out a sulky and troubled Soobin out into the hall with the script hugged against his chest and tells him to relax for the day. “Don’t overthink it. Just do what you want to do,” he says, after gaslighting him into positively considering the role. Still, Soobin needs this. He’s been stagnating since his last project, Study Group. He needs to switch up genres if he wants to improve.

“Wow,” intern number two exhales the moment Soobin leaves the premises. “You really are a veteran, sir. But does Choi Soobin’s soulmate really exist? Who is he looking for?”

Manager Lee shrugs and drops onto the sofa with a grunt. “Beats me. He doesn’t even know her name.”

*

Two.

“Yeonjun! Choi Yeonjun, look over here!”

“Choi Yeonjun, you look good today as well!”

“Please give a heart to the camera!”

“Fuck! Choi Yeonjun, you’re so fucking hot!”

That last one made Yeonjun’s mouth twitch into a smirk, and the screaming instantly became louder. Unintentional, but he relishes in the attention, anyway. He flips down his sunglasses to block the flashing lights from the cameras (causing another unintentional pandemonium), and his manager (Kim Noona, he likes to affectionately call when she’s about to yank out his hair roots for misbehaving) quickly ushers him into van before his rabid fans break through the bodyguards’ defenses and jump him.

“Good work today,” says Manager Kim as they start to drive away from the fansign venue. Yeonjun has his window rolled down and is blowing air kisses to the crowd. Ignorance is bliss, Manager Kim decides. “However, you don’t have time to run a catwalk on the way to the van tomorrow since you have another schedule immediately after the fansign. Try to strut for two minutes max tomorrow, please.”

“‘Kayyy,” Yeonjun hums, rolling the tinted windows back up and leaning back into the car seat with a satisfied groan. They’re on the way back to his apartment now. Time for him to start his routine. “Noona, do you have all the letters I got today?”

“Look to your left.” 

And there it is indeed— a stack of notes and envelopes and perfume-drenched messages of love and adoring affection. He flits through each one, skimming over every note and every letter like he’s looking for something. “Sleep early tonight,” Manager Kim tells him as he knits his brows, nearing the end of the stack. “You have a shoot in the morning, in case you forgot.” 

Yeonjun is back at the first letter he started with. Nothing, he lets out a sigh. Not one that he’s looking for.”

“Noona,” he calls out. “I’m going live right now.”

There’s a bump on the road.

“No, wait—”

[🔴 yawnzzn is live].

“Hehe. Yeonjunnie is here—!”

Manager Kim abruptly stops the car. Thank fucking god the road isn’t too crowded. She watches Yeonjun from the rearview mirror as he smiles at the outstretched camera and makes casual greetings and hello’s to the viewers, heart racing in fear. “Right now? I’m on the way back home. Can’t wait to get a nice shower once I get back.” Okay, she lets in a deep breath, starting the car once more. Yeonjun isn’t doing anything weird yet. Better to drop him off as soon as possible.

“Nooo, I haven’t had dinner yet, I’ll order once I get home. What do you guys recommend?”

He’s being normal. He’s acting fine. This is good.

“Ramen? That sounds good. Kimchi jjigae is also yummy.”

Maybe he just wanted to interact more with his fans, yes. He’s always been like that. Maybe he won’t say anything rash this time.

“Oh! The video with Mark Lee from NCT? Did you see us hugging? Hehe, Mark and I look good together?” They’re almost at his apartment building. They’re almost here. Once they arrive, Yeonjun will turn off the livestream and Manager Kim can finally fucking retire for the day. “That’s cute. But it’s too bad. I’m already interested in someone else.”

Screeeech!

The car stops. “Yeonjun.” But Yeonjun’s live stream is still ongoing. “Turn off the live.”

Yeonjun is smiling at his phone in painful ignorance. Manager Kim doesn’t miss the one second glance he spares at her. One second. One mere second before he starts inciting chaos even more. “Who? That’s a secretttt. I don’t want to tell you.”

Manager Kim’s phone starts buzzing. “Yeonjun, turn it off.” The buzzing won’t stop. Her personal phone starts going off as well

“Ah. Should I give you a hint?”

There’s an incoming call now.

“Choi Yeonjun, turn off the god damned—”

“Okay!” Yeonjun suddenly exclaims. He flashes a knowing smile to the camera, but his dearly stressed and overworked manager knows that it’s directed to her rather than the thousands of people witnessing the artist she’s in charge of stirring his third rumor of the week. Her phone won’t stop buzzing, it can be used as a fucking vibrator at this point. Choi Yeonjun is lucky he rakes in most of the agency’s profits— otherwise his contract would be terminated by now. “I have to go. My manager looks like she’s about to fire me, hehe. See you all tomorrow! Mwah!”

Just like that, the live stream ends, but Manager Kim’s phone is still incessantly ringing and beeping and giving the signal that Choi Yeonjun will once again go trending on Twitter— not in the way the company wants. Again. “Kim Noona?” Yeonjun calls out. “The light is green. The cars behind are honking at us.”

Manager Kim’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Yeonjun.” And they start moving again. “What are you gonna do once you get home?”

“Post a damage control photo. Got it.”

He knows. He knows yet he keeps pulling the same shit every week.

“Good...good— just,” his manager lets out a sigh, and they arrive at the front of his building. “No matter what I tell you, you won’t stop pulling these stunts, aren’t you?”

“Nope.” Yeonjun flashes her a grin, unbuckling his seatbelt, ready to slide the door open. “Thanks, noona! See you tomorrow!”

With that, Yeonjun leaves with a bounce in his step right after the mess he just made.

The problem is, Manager Kim can’t tell him to stop either after knowing exactly why he’s doing all of these scandal-bait, potentially career damaging things. It’s not something she can believe in, and it’s definitely not within the realm of reality. But after seeing the look on her artist’s eyes when he said— how many more headlines must he make until you can finally find your way back to him?

Well. All Manager Kim can do is work PR to their deaths for damage control.

*

Three.

“Why don’t we kick it off by listening to your latest single?”

Studio lights burn the set. Five seats are settled in place, four against one for an interview with one of the hottest K-Rock groups of the generation. Yeong-Il released a new single just earlier in the week, and it’s topped the charts ever since release. 

If I am given a second life I may live and breathe differently compared to now

Lee Heeseung looks happy to be here. So do Yang Jeongin and Lim Jimin. Choi Beomgyu, on the other hand, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else but here right now, complete with the faraway look on his face as he’s clearly not paying attention to the comments the host is making, instead drowning in melody and lyrics hummed by the speakers.

Among the streets we’ll walk past each other without knowing

“It’s quite different from our usual music, no?” Heeseung laughs.

I hope we remember each other

“Right!” Jeongin chimes in. “But I think we should hear from the man who produced and wrote this.”

Even in our next life Even at that time, I’ll go to you

“Choi Beomgyu!”

Even in our next life Even at that time, I’ll go to you

“Beomgyu, are you awake?”

Even if a second life That’s different from now comes to me The one thing I can say is That I’m going to be by your side

“Beomgyu!”

“Ah.” Beomgyu finally wakes up. He catches the concerned and nervous glances of his friends-slash-bandmates. Beomgyu takes the microphone from Jimin, tapping it once, before saying, “What do I do? It’s a little embarrassing to talk about this by myself.” Jeongin fails to hold back a snort at his lack of sincerity. Jimin sends him a nudge with his elbow. 

“Hey, this isn’t the first time you’ve written a song. Quit acting coy,” Heeseung manages to salvage the conversation, invisible sweat dripping down the side of his face. Beomgyu finally decides to stop stalling and answers the question.

“Well, anyhow, I think you can tell from the lyrics. Second Life is about a love that extends beyond lifetimes— promising that even after we’ve lived, died, and reborn as different people, there is still no one I’d love but you.” There’s some coughs from his bandmates. Beomgyu presses his lips into a smile. “That’s it.” And passes the microphone back to whoever reaches out for it first.

This kind of behavior from Yeong-il’s guitarist and vocalist isn’t new. 

The problem is, even though his team and fans are used to it, not everyone is, so the show’s host is taken aback by Beomgyu’s complete lack of care, unaffected and impenetrable. He stifles out a cough, flits through his cue cards. “O—oh, how romantic!” he exclaims. “I’ve noticed that a lot of your other songs that Choi Beomgyu-ssi has written seem to have a similar theme. Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah, it’s not really a secret, and it’s honestly pretty obvious,” Beomgyu answers, earning another nudge from Jimin. 

“He doesn’t seem like it, but Beomgyu is the biggest romanticist out of all of us,” Heeseung saves the day once more. Choi Beomgyu has been once dubbed as the biggest hurdle in every interviewer’s career. Nobody knows if he’s doing it on purpose, or if he really is just like that.

“We—well, can we ask what your inspiration is for writing this kind of music?”

It’s not a new question. It’s a question asked interview after interview to Choi Beomgyu whenever they release one of his songs riddled with his signatures of reincarnation, second lives, and first loves. But he’s always avoided answering them, sometimes going as far as outright telling the host that he doesn’t want to answer.

Though his bandmates are indeed both dreading and looking forward to the day Beomgyu would finally make a public answer to that million dollar question—

“Myself.”

—they certainly did not expect him to answer with the truth.

“What?”

“The tracks were inspired by myself,” he says, face flat, free from any sign of humor or jest. “I’m still waiting for my first love from my first life. There must be a reason why I still remember her and the life we shared. Doesn’t that mean we’re both destined to meet again?”

Silence washes over. Everyone on set is looking at Beomgyu, waiting for him to laugh or smile or crack a joke or some shit just to give an indication that he wasn’t at all serious with that statement. Their managers are frozen. They’re all looking at Heeseung to finally and neatly wrap things up before the mood gets worse.

Heeseung gets the signal. He quickly snatches the microphone from his friend and starts making bullshit up and praying to god that this part gets edited out. “Aha—ahaha, Beomgyu really likes to remain in character! That’s how much he takes his music seriously! Anyway—”

The rest of the interview turns up normally. No unexpected backstory reveals or trauma-dumps. No mentions of possible supernatural phenomena whatsoever and that’s mostly because Beomgyu decided to keep quiet for the rest of it.

He’s seriously a ticking time bomb, all but him share the same thought upon exiting the studio, until Heeseung finally confronts him about it when they reach the van.

“Dude, what the hell was that?”

“I know, I know. You don’t have to nag me,” Beomgyu groans. “We can ask them not to air that part, anyway. I’m just getting impatient.”

Impatience.

That’s a mutual feeling shared by all three of them. 

Twenty years. That’s how long they’ve been waiting. Centuries, if you count the period in between their previous lives and now. But when the person they’ve been waiting for finally shows up— patience will be a virtue that they’ll need to learn to strengthen. Patience. They’ll need to be a hell of a lot more patient if they want to take back what they lost.

STAR STUDDED BAGGAGE. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Derin, you once said that posting consistently in a web series is very important for the growth of audience. But how do you keep yourself motivated to create stories on schedule? Whenever I try to do it, I just lose motivation and get stressed out or bored with my project

My answer is to have a big buffer. I aim to have a buffer of at least one year's worth of chapters. That way, I can take a month or two off every now and then to avoid burnout. It is also far, far less stressful. Not having a buffer is the most stressful thing a writer can do, do not do that.

So far as long-term sticking to projects goes, there's a few skills involved here and all of them involve a lot of practice. The first thing is what I call the Shiny New Fruit problem. This is something you see pretty much every newbie writer doing -- they get a great idea for a story, they know how it's gonna start, they have a cool premise and a twist that's gonna BLOW EVERYONE'S MIND, it'll be great! They start writing! Their first chapter is cool and unique and full of promise, and they get great feedback, and they move onto the second chapter and it's also great, and...

Quite quickly, they run out of "great chapters". Most of the time, the start of your story is low hanging fruit, so far as writing goes -- it's where you get to introduce all your cool concepts and you're not weighed down by anything established yet and all the Cool Stuff That's Gonna Happen is still in the future, it's your perfect imagined version of it and not the (usually worse) version that ends up on the page. Then you run out of low hanging fruit, and it gets slower and harder, and you have to do a lot more actual work and it doesn't feel so new and exciting any more, and a newbie writer thinks, "oh, this isn't as fun, the story feels more boring to write, that part didn't come out as well as I'd hoped -- this story must be bad". And sometimes they might give up right away. Or instead they might continue... but they're distracted, because solving the issue of how to get those two guys out of prison in chapter 6 just gave them the BEST idea for a different story, it's gonna be so much better, the characters are great and they can already feel the words pouring out of them and...

So they run off to pick the low-hanging fruit for their new story, and before they know it, they have nine unfinished stories on their hard drive and not a completed story to their name.

Every writer will get distracted and enthused about new ideas for projects. This isn't a newbie problem. The newbie problem is letting them tempt you away from the viable projects you're already working on so that nothing gets done. My solution to this is very simple -- I am not allowed to write my future projects until I finish my current one. This way, all that enthusiasm for the future project is transmuted into motivation for the current one -- I can write that cool story about a bug alien who adopts and astronaut but first I have to push through the slow part of this story and get this story finished. This has always worked really well for me.

The second reason that you might lose motivation for a story you're working on is that the story is indeed bad, or at least, the version of it incubating in your mind isn't ready yet. The problem with this is that every story feels bad when you're bored or frustrated with it, and it takes a lot of practice to tell the difference between a genuine dud idea and one that your brain is lying to you about because it wants to play computer games instead. My advice on these is to push through anyway -- it almost certainly isn't a dud idea, and if it is, you'll learn way more by completing it than abandoning it.

The third reason is burnout. Now, it's important to note that everyone is bored and frustrated with their stories sometimes. I got sick of writing space intrigue and took a month off to play Subnautica (I could afford to do this with no stress because of my massive chapter buffer), then came back when I felt like it -- that isn't burnout. I've procrastinated for weeks before because I'm up to a really complicated scene with a lot of emotional beats and new information and it's hard to write so I don't wanna -- that isn't burnout. Burnout is what you get when you don't manage these things properly for way too long and grind your brain to paste. I have a lot of tips for avoiding burnout, but they'd take a long time to explain, so all I'll say here is that learning to recognise and avoid burnout is a skill that you will gain with experience.

The fourth reason that people get bored and frustrated is that writing is a skill, and it's a lot harder to do than it looks. Writing when you're not in Full Inspiration Mode is exhausting. It's difficult. It almost always looked worse on the page than you expected; your favourite authors do so much better than this, why doesn't your work look like theirs? It's just words! You know words!

This one trips a lot of newbies up, because in Full Inspiration Mode, writing is easy. someone can have five chapters pour out of them in that mode, and then look at their page two days later and go, "huh, writing is so much harder today". then they'll call that "writer's block" (that is NOT writer's block) and decide to write again when they "feel inspired".

Do not do this. It's a trap. If you only write when you're inspired, you will not succeed as a writer. Take advantage of your periods of inspiration, obviously, but writers must learn to forge ahead without them, because they're going to get fewer and smaller as the low hanging fruit all get picked and you simply will not keep up with a schedule relying on them, whether it's a web serial update schedule or a deadline given to you by a publisher or simply the desire to have a manuscript ready to pitch to an agent before you die of old age. The world is full of people who are "writing a book" and have been doing so for thirty years with almost no progress. If you want to finish, you need to write when it's a bit tricky, when it's a bit boring, when you're not inspired at all and aren't entirely certain where things are going. Fortunately this, like everything else here, is a skill that is honed with practice.

So, yeah. That's my advice. Have a chapter buffer, the bigger the better. Make sure that your writing pace is faster than your publication pace. Avoid these quitting/stopping pitfalls. That's pretty much it.

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: The Sincere Way

Aziraphale had only been attending karate class for a few months. Anathema had convinced him to try it. She was picking up an extra day a week of training in advance of her next promotion. She was already a second-degree black belt, going for her third stripe. Sensei Crowley was serious and sour. Lithe and lean and, Aziraphale had to admit, gorgeous. But not warm. Usually, he seemed vaguely irritated. Even when Aziraphale remembered the Japanese vocabulary, providing the names of the techniques when asked, Sensei Crowley’s approval felt grudgingly given.

Length: 68,357 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit/ Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Mostly Safe in Public, Human AU, Slow Burn

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by Tsyvia48

*Minor Spoilers* This poor fic got caught in the crosshairs of my fic rec hiatus. It had just finished as a WIP and I wanted to get a rec up quickly but then life got away. Well, silver lining that means I get to reread it again!

To set the scene, in this human AU, Crowley is Aziraphale's new karate instructor. This fic gives me the perfect amount of jargon, enough to really immerse me in the world and show that it's something the author clearly has a lot of knowledge about, without becoming a karate Wikipedia entry. It makes up a large part of the story, but it is used for story building and not just info dumping. I think it was a setting that ended up working great for them! A confidence builder for both.

Anyway, as you can guess, they end up striking a friendship. The attraction is there from the start, but neither are available right now. Both of them are in age gap relationships, that add a really complex and interesting narrative to the story. The Metatron being Aziraphale's partner here gave me the biggest ick, and I mean that as a compliment to the story. It was a choice I haven't seen before, and one that worked well! Not that I enjoyed that, I hated it. Good storytelling, insufferable character. Our boys will figure it out though, they always do, and with a classic "one bed" moment as well!

I really enjoyed this! Especially the setting, I loved what learning karate did for Aziraphale. How much more confident and at home he becomes in his body. I love that the story gives him that along with Crowley. His self love and acceptance doesn't just come from a partner, it comes from himself first. The partner is an added bonus. Definitely takes a page out of the show's moment with Nina acknowledging she needed to work on herself before she could move forward with Maggie. That's what this fic let them do! Mostly safe in public, until towards the very end! It's a very light and casual read, no major angst or stress. Slight moments of hurt, but the story is always right there to pick them back up and comfort them. Keeps them going, keeps them doing their best, the sincere way.

Read it here, fic by Tsyvia48

[awkwardkindatries]

Bathhouse Charades

A comision piece for the lovely @sans--seraph, thank you so much for your support and patience as it truly means a lot🖤

I hope you enjoy!

Additionally, special thanks to @weezlbot and one other for their time and effort beta reading for me, you guys are the best.

Tags: threesome, threeway, creampie, water sex, exhibitionalism, light swearing

Word Count: seven pages; 4,098

Elrond/Reader/Glorfindel

On days like today, You like to take your time in the bath house, soaking up the deep heat of the water as you let it work its magic as it sets into your tender muscles. The day had been much harder than normal as you had to work around the grounds during the overcast skies and inevitable rain. Half of the day you spent soaked, choosing to sacrifice your body over the wellbeing of the documents that you had to hike to the libraries for Erestor to file away. The remaining time was spent doing menial labor as you trudged through the halls with now heavy clothes that uncomfortably stuck to your clothes with a sticky chill as they swayed and bent with your body. You had the subconscious nagging feeling that you had mud settling between your toes and you felt a squish with every step and a thick feeling against your skin as they began to dry. From helping to distribute the days meals, towing in all of the airing laundry before rainfall, scrubbing away at mud lining the main halls after everyone had retreated inside, and to top it all off getting the cold and indifferent treatment from the jerk in the libraries after you had saved him from your own dripping fate. 

You had earned this moment to yourself, choosing to sink down further into the depths practically submerged to your chin listening to the sounds of the droplets splash against the stone of the open windows. The storm outside has slowly begun to settle to soft winds and a quaint trickle, the sway of leaves running water helping to further soothe you to peace.

Staring up through the glass ceiling, you watched the water ripple against the open panes, sliding down across the surface as it pools along the seams and collects along the metal base just out of eyesight. The sky has lightened substantially from the brooding dark gray that clouded the majority of your day. The once brooding clouds have faded away but a second coming still lingered on the horizon. You knew that your evening would shroud the valley in thunder and the quaking beams of the ceiling as the wind powered against the building and bent the trees back and forth testing both their flexibility and endurance. 

Part of you inwardly stressed for the thousands year old building, wondering about the pervious perils it must have seen, the storms to have tested its resilience not only with the building itself but for the strong pillars deep in the falls to continue to hold it high and proud. It’s funny how the building reminds you of its lord, Elrond himself. 

Your lord has always seemed so strong, so kind, opening his home and heart to you for as long as you needed with no strings attached. He always seemed so concerned with your wellbeing, checking in with you throughout your day ensuring that you’ve eaten and have had a proper night's rest. When you had first arrived he saw to it immediately that you’d receive a hot bath in this very spot, giving you your own room where you had been greeted with fresh dry clothes and spares to go. You had originally just been a passerby, drifting from place to place with no explicit direction in mind, simply looking for grand sights while hoping to find a warm meal and a safe bed every so often.

Not long after, you had the pleasure of meeting a kind ellon in his court by the name of Glorfindel. He was kind and approachable, Bright eyes that sparked in such a manner that gave them a shien of blue. Such a stark contrast from the tanned tone of his skin and the warm full golden hair that sprung out around his body. He had a boisterous laugh like thunder and a softness to his voice when you spoke like summer showers. His very essence wreaked of the likes of prince charming wrapped in the cloak of every story book hero from your childhood but yet here he was, a living individual with just as much chivalry as you’d dream of when you were a child. He was beautiful, effervescent and his personality wrapped you in a blanket of security with every interaction and that is why you were so overjoyed when he’d timidly asked you to be his, to give him the honor of courting you. You would truly be a fool to say no to such an offer. 

What resulted from your stay was more than you could have ever hoped for, a home, a job, a lover. Your life was coming full circle, fulfilling as it was and as wonderful of a partner as you had you still found a great sense of guilt within yourself at the longing stares you’d give to your lord in passing. It almost left you feeling appalled, this kind ellon who has already experienced such tragedy within his life and yet opened his home to many, including to you and yet you were lusting after him. This only added to the guilt of the love your heart felt for Glorfindel lingering onto another, You fought with yourself daily on the few options that you had to solve your predicament though most left an awful taste in your mouth.

Your self-loathing thoughts were interrupted however, at the heavy creaking of the bath house doors. Angling your head to your right you watched as your lover pushed past the oak door before softly shutting it behind himself and turning to look you full-on in all of your naked glory. It certainly wasn't the first time he’s laid eyes on your body and it certainly wouldn't be the last if you had anything to say about it. The bright smile he gave you was infectious and your own smile subconsciously began to bloom across your face in your own greeting, all of your previous worries melting away. “I thought I’d find you here” He tells you, a soft lilt of laughter brimming in his voice. You bring your head back to rest against the tile behind you, “of course”, after a day like today my body has been aching and shivering for hours. You bring your leg up to the surface of the water before playfully flicking some at him, successfully splashing the leather of his boots. He gives a light chuckle in response before kneeling at the edge of the pool, dipping his hand into the water to test the temperature and almost immediately yanking his hand from it. He stares at you utterly bewildered and asks “By the Valor, love, are you attempting to boil yourself alive?” Now it’s your turn to chuckle, assuring him that no, you are not attempting to make a soup of yourself and that the heat relieves the pain in your aching body.

He makes his way around the curve of the pool before coming behind you to kneel, chilling finger grazing along the heated skin of your shoulder, “If it's an ache that ails you, might I be of assistance?”. That sure did seem like a hell of an offer and who were you to decline, after a whispered agreement he stands and begins to strip, tossing his clothes about the clean tile without a care in the world. Slowly he breaks the surface of the water, submerging himself, doing his best to adjust to the stark difference in temperature as he makes his way into your bath. Sliding him next to you, he gently prods at your body as you willingly let him pull you in whichever way he should see fit. He settles on you straddling his lap, his hand coming up to pull your head against the expanse of skin that is his chest. It quickly heated, it would seem, as you could clearly feel the claminess of sweat beginning to coat his body, regardless you settled into a comfortable hug as your ear listened to the strong bump of his heart. 

Keeping his word about soothing your aches, he brought his hands up to your shoulders and slowly worked away at the skin and muscles as he made quick work of knots forming across your back. His movement is slow but methodical, working his hands and fingers in firm circles against the waves your body created from the pressure. You couldn't help the soft moans that followed, the natural response your body gave to show appreciation of your lover and the amount of time it took him to truly know your body and apparently how little it took yours to get him to react. 

Between you seated on his lap pressed against him, the needy noises that trickled freely from your throat; and the hot breath that fanned across his neck he couldn't help the reaction that he had, left feeling rather embarrassed at how little it took to get a response from him. He almost felt like an elfling again, how small and inexperienced he was. The soft brushing of his cock against your stomach forced a small chuckle from you as you tucked yourself further against him, your head resting in the crease of his neck as you left fleeting butterfly kisses against the skin and your stomach now pinning the length firmly between the two of you. The quiet strained moan that left him was absolutely delightful only becoming more delectable as you began to softly rock yourself against him.

His quiet moans quickly began to grow into more throaty, desperate sounds, his hips twitching in need. His hands came to grasp your hips, rocking you roughly against the length of him as he went from being pressed against your stomach to now resting between your thighs. You could feel him in such detail, every vein, wrinkle and pulse of the thick mass between your thighs as it pushed apart and worked through your folds, mixing the slick of your cunt with the once-clean water of the communal bath. The needy moan you let out was much louder than you initially thought, unknowingly attracting the attention of a passerby. 

Glorfindel's moans weren't much better, the deep timber ricocheting across the tile walls. sealing your fate to exactly what you were doing in such a public place to none other than the lord in the doorway. Lord Elrond to be precise.

A soft grunt left him as the two of you stiffening in the moment, panic rising as your eyes locked on the embarrassed form across the room, still lingering in the doorway. His hand was still in a soft fist up at his mouth, a vain attempt to cover the blush across his face as he quickly averted his eyes from the scene. He himself looks like he was on his way to his own bathing chambers just a few doors down, as he was rather bare with the exception of a loosely clad robe across his body. Your arms sprung across the expanse of your chest to conserve even a smidge of your own decency as you turned your head away, the heat of your own face almost too much.

He cleared his throat once more before speaking “Perhaps you two should take that act up to your quarters, Valar forbid another should have found you..”  A short silence falls in the air as Elrond is just about to leave before the boisterous laugh of your lover breaks through the quiet of the room. Elrond pauses, as your eyes widen and turn to gawk at him, was he mad?

“My lord, for such a declaration it does not seem as though you wish for us to keep it private, that is if your body is any indication to go by”. Elrond’s face reddens further as he tucks his robe closed much tighter than before. The jerk of his hands moved the fabric a few seconds too many to truly show off the bulge against the fabric before it quickly disappeared from the readjusting, a bulge you surely would have missed. He begins to stutter out an apology, very obviously embarrassed at having been caught. The nudge you get from Glorfindel as he gently bounces you up gets your attention, Looking up at him you see the questioning look on his face, the hint of a suggestion on his features. You understand what he’s asking and you give a nervous nod, what would he possibly think of the two of you after such an offer?

Turning your head once more you ask the question, “Would you like to stay?” It's quick, a little jumbled and dripping with anxiety but you get it out nonetheless. The pit of your stomach immediately begins to turn in nerves as you brace at the expectation to be turned down.  With the question hanging quick in the air you're surprised that he doesn’t leave, he stands awkwardly where he has, just out of reach of the door as though he still leans on uncertainty. The slosh of water breaks the tension and Glorfindel's hand rises from the water as he gestures the lord over to the two of you, “we’d love the company.” 

How he is always so warm and welcoming is beyond you but in the moment you're grateful for his nature as he seems to have finally convinced Elrond to join you in the water. As he disrobes he gives off the air of being self conscious, after all he is much older than you but is also a father who very much looks like it body wise. Though his training has dipped in frequency, it’s not as though it’s stopped all together. He can’t help the nerves building up as he overthinks the situation, doubting if he’d truely be attractive to you as you currently sit on the sculpted body of a legendary balrog slayer. He holds his breath as the fabric falls from his body, pooling at his feet and he doesn't dare lend a look to the two of you as he slides in the pool. The steam that comes up from the top offers a bit of comfort as he slowly wades his way over to the other side with you. 

You however couldn't help but to admire his physique as his body has truly seen time but by the Valar has he held up. He’s broad and strong and you couldn't help the involuntary twitch of your thighs as you thought of him between them. It would seem that you weren't the only one however, as you felt the twitch of Glorfindel's cock against your core once more as he ogled the lord.  Perhaps he didn’t know what he was in for between the two of you. 

As he comes within arms reach you gesture for him to step just a little closer, the tips of your fingers slowly making contact with the chilled skin of his chest. The muscle involuntarily twitches beneath your fingertips as he takes in the sensation, the heat of the water having warmed your body to its own temperature.  Growing bolder your touch grows firmer, exploring the surface of his body in the way you have dreamed, slowly gliding across the skin in all direction as your nails occasionally scrape down as you leave red marks in your wake. Your hand slides down along his hips, trailing behind him to the small of his back as you pull him closer.

Looking up at him you can still see the blush adoring his strong features and it's absolutely adorable how nervous he is, how out of practice he feels. At this moment, you’ve decided that this will be a lot of fun.

Leaning up you give his nipple a tentative lick, nothing quite firm yet, just enough to test, to tease. Once more you lick, a flick of your tongue provides a jump of his body in return then your lips envelope the bud below, creating a light suction as you suckle away at him. Brought slightly back to the moment by your lover below, the slow rise of his hands against your hips continues as he locks back on, the gentle rock of your body against his length continues as it only adds to your growing arousal. The moan that bubbles up from your throat provides such a soft vibration to your lord's chest, a stifled grunt leaving him. That small noise was enchanting to your ears. Absolutely addictive as it felt as though you were finally able to taste your forbidden fruit. Your wandering hand grows bolder, sliding down his torso before it breaks the surface of the rocking water in search for a much larger prize. Your hand comes to find it, the weighty cock between his thighs, as it comes to close tightly around it. The shudder breath that he takes in between clenched teeth grabs your full attention, you stare him down even though he has yet to gain the confidence to stare back at you. You've decided to make it your goal to meet his eyes before he comes close to meeting his end as you begin to give slow firm strokes. He hunches over to brace himself against your shoulders, his head tilted forward but eyes remaining tightly shut. The opportunity you've longed for had a firm grip on you now, You couldn't help yourself, you had to taste him. Pulling him from the water, your firm remained strong as your hand slid to the base of his cock, holding him just at eye level. Leaning forward you gave the tip a tentative lick, the taste of salty precum and soapy water coating your mouth as you leaned forward taking as much of him into your mouth as you could manage. One of his hands shot up to cover his mouth as a shaky moan left him. “oh my-D-Dearest..”. His breath was strained and hot against his hand as he moaned, enjoying the attentive swirling of your tongue. Suddenly you're lifted, at this very moment you were taking your lord back into your mouth though with the surprise movement he sank much deeper down your throat than intended and you almost gagged as the burning stretch of your mouth grew at taking in even more of him. You were quickly sat back down as you lover below began to spear himself into you, yet another familiar burn of your body as your walls were quickly stretched back open at the rocking hips of Glorfindel. He threw his head back against the tile as your tight warm walls took his considerable length so willingly, the fresh tight feeling almost making him finish on the spot. His hands remained firm as he went from grinding you against his cock to bouncing you on it. The motion aiding you in your effort with your lord occupying your throat, as he provided you with the speed and force to take him deeper, the tempo matching the filling act below the water. 

Glorfindel is considerably large, the stretch and movement more than provided the feeling of being completely full, not an iota of space between your walls and the skin of his cock. One of his large hands found its way down to your front, a wandering thumb searching for the treasure at the top of your clit, bearing down in a punishing circle once it's located. It twirled easily against the bundle of nerves with the aid of the soapy water as he showed no signs of stopping the brutal pace on your body. He breath was strained as he choked out “T-thats it, come darling, come so that our lord may have you next!” The phrase brought you ever closer and it must have done the same for Elrond as his hips gave an involuntary twitch at the thought of being able to fuck you next. 

Your efforts to aid your lover doubled as your rocked back against him, the scrape of his cock against your insides becoming utterly overwhelming  the moans of the two men bouncing across the walls and filling your senses becomes to much and you find yourself convulsing hard against the intrusion, your orgasm washing over you. Your lover isn't far behind as he takes this as he signal to finish, his pace grows punishing your body feeling as though it ripples entirely with the force as he soon quickly finds his end, the flood of heat much hotter than the initial water ever was. It fills your insides and your thoughts as you nearly blank, the only thought keeping your present is the one where your lord does it next.

He pulls himself free from between your lips with a whine, already missing the heat of your throat as he helps pick you up from Glorfindel's lap, the feeling of being slowly emptied, a sudden one that makes you softly cry out. He guides you to the edge of the pool beside Glorfindel before gently pushing you forward to lay flat against the tile. Your front is instantly cold as the starke chill shocks your senses, the chill making goosebumps rise across your skin as your nipples involuntarily bead to attention. As you lean over completely bare to the two Ellons you can feel the warm thick golden essence of your lover coat your thighs as it's made its way outside of your cunt and having blended with the water.

Elrond shudders, It’s been a long time since he’s last made love to anyone the thought of it being you already brims on euphoric. He’s longed for this moment for quite some time but when Glorfindel had asked to court you he had considered his chances completely gone.

 Now here he is, bent above your body, taking your wrists in his hand to pin above you head against the tile, cock teasing the slick-coated entrance of your core with his cock.

He held his breath as his grip on your wrists tightened, and then he was inside. The previous load of cum from your lover having provided plenty of lube to easily accommodate the new cock inside of you. Elrond felt heavy in hand and body, truly he felt like a king as he panted above you, seated in your body like a throne of his right. His stretch burned slightly more than the previous elf had as he was thicker, longer, descended in size from others much larger than he. His pace starts gentle, cautiously he rocks into you absolutely terrified of doing damage. He's deep, deeper than your partner and the way he scrapes your depths ever so slowly, softly stroking away at the nerves inside. You've longed for this, to be shared, to be cherished by the two most important individuals in your life and here you are bearing down against the tile beneath you as your nails scrape and claw at for some semblance of grounding. Begs and pleas fall from your lips as it slowly becomes the mantra of your undoing, the hard and slow thrusts steadily bringing you to your end. The sounds of his grunts and moans above you travel straight to your stomach, your inevitable undoing follows after his comment “fuck dearest, how I've longed for you”.

In an instant you're gone. Having traversed the mountain to its peak you turn and Elrond is shoving you off of the edge plummeting into the mind-numbing abyss below. You shake in the wake of your rapture, your body still jolting forward with the hard slow thrusts of your current guest. You're forced to take him and twitch in overstimulation as he chases his own release, now hyper-aware of the feeling of his thighs grinding against your own, his heavy balls slapping against your cunt from the force. You've long since drowned out the sounds of your own moans, the only noise making it past the fog in your mind are the moans above and the sloshing bouncing around the room.

A moment later he's pressed snug against you, seated deep inside as his cock pulsates, thick golden-hued cum beads out from where the two of you are joined. 

He catches his breath above you and you take the moment of reprieve to do the same. The moment of peace and satisfaction is broken by sudden applause. You don't care to look as you know the source, the voice and laughter of your lover overpowers the sounds of his hands.

“What a show! When a the next viewing?”

[justarandomgirly]

My RWRB review WITH SPOILERS so dont read if you havent watched yet

Beautiful fresh movie. But horrible book adaptation.

It starts like...it has no proper beginning. We simply find ourselves at the wedding at thats it. I would have opened it at a White house when Alex is given instructions or something.

First cca 10 minutes of the movie were already spoiled to me in all released clips.

Star wars convo? Gone. And it was important in the book for us readers to understand how characters think. Even the whole convo as they lay on the ground in that closet was short and rushed.

Turkey scene was the best & funniest in the book. Here it was smushed into like 20 seconds and all the fun and their convo taken away limited into like 3 lines no David no Mr Wobbles...

No phone call after parents had a fight.

The texting montage...in the book this whole thing with texting is crusial. Its when they fall in love. How they open up to one another so when they see each other at NYE, its like Alex is meeting whole different man. This was again rushed.

Mails leaked. But which emails?? We saw none. We didnt see them writing any emails, like the juicy erotic and romantic ones in the book, just couple of texts. So what exactly leaked? As book reader you know. But imagine you didnt read the book.

NO CORNETTO SCENE!!!

I liked the party tho. And first kiss.

Scene in red room also shortened.

But I loved Amy.

I expected lot more intimacy since it was R rated.

No Wimbledon.

No shouting under the windows of KP. The scene I was mostly looking forward to. The Henry you motherfucker!

Even this was changed. After Alex says Ill leave if you tell me to leave they passionately kiss then make love then comes museum. Here there is no kiss nothing Henry just immediately takes him to the museum. We just see them in bed next morning.

Karaoke scene way too short,again.

Emails being leaked were so stressful in the book I was nausiated when I read those pages. Here it was...kinda brushed off. And the guy who leakec them wasnt punished or anything like in the book. They gave us hint people know their emails were hacked, but its not resolved in the movie. So if you havent read the book you might have impression Miguel got away with it.

Election night or talking to king and Philippe... it was all like...

It felt like i wasnt watching a movie, but a recap of what happened in a movie, before watching volume 2. Almost all scenes sounded like they took the most important parts of conversations in the books and characters spoke them because the information had to get to the viewer, but it felt shallow.

Poorly written rushed writing. Thats how I would put it.

Yes actors are awesome. Taylor is so damn hot and charming it hurts.

Tay and Nick have chemistry straight movie couples can enwy them.

Im not complaining about acting. That was great. Uma as president? Pls Uma run for president in real life.

Nick and Taylor perfecrly embody Henry and Alex in every way. I couldnt wish for better casting.

But again. Rushed horrible writing. If i didnt read the book, i wouldnt believe boys love each other so much. Writers just had to get into this scene after that scene, because thats how this story goes, and thats it.

As a book adaptation, Im only giving it 3 out of 10.

But as a movie...sweet romantic funny fresh and a beatiful message to the LGBT community...im giving it 7 out of 10.

Agree or disagree, I wont fight you.

[lord-squiggletits]

Speaking of transcribing dreams (and I was reminded of this by @jariktig 's tags in response to mine)

One of the best writing tips I can give is that you should literally just learn how to type faster. Now, there's all sorts of things with having different keyboard layouts (esp if you have non-English language layouts and would have to find tutorials for your specific language), but like

Guys

If you want to write more, it isn't just about dedicating more time towards writing, but also literally making it so that you can write MORE within the time you have set aside to write

I know a lot of people got by in school just doing one- or two-finger typing, and I used to be like that as well, but I can't stress enough that it's WORTH learning how to type the "proper way" on account of the sheer speed using all 10 fingers gives you while writing. I switched from only typing with a couple fingers to using QWERTY 10-finger typing while I was in school. It was a little inconvenient at first, but the fact that I was typing my notes meant that I was practicing my new typing technique a lot, and it eventually became second nature.

And it's so worth it guys. SO WORTH IT. My typing speed can approach 80 words per minute when I'm just transcribing conversations or typing what I see on a page or image. I've literally interviewed people and been able to transcribe nearly word for word the responses they gave me.

Writing is slower than transcription though, as you're not just typing what you see/hear but having to create original ideas and write them in prose form. Even so, my typing speed on a good day is somewhere between 30-33 WPM, or 1800-1980 words per hour. Obviously, writing rarely involves nonstop writing for an hour straight, but I can say that I've reached 1000 words in only about 30-40 minutes on average-good writing days.

Not only is it really good to be able to do my daily writing in as short as half an hour (life is busy, after all), it also means I can write and complete fic much faster! Depending on the exact kind of fic, a short PWP or oneshot can be 1-3k words long (~3 sessions to complete), a character-focused oneshot or longfic chapter update can be 4-8k (~4-8 sessions to complete), and so on. So basically, mathematically speaking, faster typing speed = more words per minute = more writing in less time = faster fic updates = able to write more and/or longer stories.

And yes-- I literally can type fast enough that a lot of the scenes I write are direct transcriptions from my daydreams to the screen exactly as I'm thinking about them. It's actually made me so much more productive to be able to tell myself "why don't you type it down while you daydream" and having my writing speed actually be able to keep up with my speed of thought.

[phoenixblack89]

Chapter 10 - The Secrets We Keep

Well its certainly been a hot minute since I posted a chapter. If ya follow me ten ya know that a unexpected, but otherwise welcome, pregnancy has taken up much of the past year. That whole shebang was very stressful which could b a whole episode of some soap opera with how certain members of my family went on about how I'd end up with post natal depression again and wouldn't cope with 2 kids etc. this person basically can go to hell...

Anyway that's taken up a lot of my energy and as ya can imagine i haven't had time to write or even read anything but I am finally in a place where I have the time, creativity and energy to write again and am already working on the next chapter of this so please keep ya eyes peeled.

As always - page breaker is by the awesome @firefly-graphics

TAG LIST: @lilythemadqueen @autocon23 @archerangel @littlegodzilla @pandora-writes-stuff @boondoctorwho @browneyes528 @darylsgirl @purple-serenity @fandomsaremykryponite

WARNINGS: Shane being a gaint tit, typical TWD gore, character death, foul language

Main Masterlist

SERIES MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Phoenix made her way to the camp fire as her stomach growled loudly. She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion as she saw Maggie shaking her head at Glenn from the porch of the farmhouse. She turned quickly to look his face as he received a nod from Dale. Glenn stood and walked to the centre of camp before he cleared his throat as everyone sat, gaining their attention. 

"Erm.. Guys. So... Barn's full of walkers." His voice quivered out.

"Ya know how to fucking ruin the day before it's begun don't ya Glenn." She scoffed as everyone slowly stared at the Asian man in shock, as he shuffled nervously from foot to foot. 

The group rushed towards the barn where Glenn said the walkers were. Growls and snarls could be faintly heard as the group gathered around the barn. Shane being curious, peered through the gaps in the slats into the dark building then startled back as one growled and lunged towards the smell of fresh meat. The walkers crashed against the door, making the chain rattle as the group took a step back in fright.

"You cannot tell me you're all right with this." He stated, shaking his head and pointing at the barn. 

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land." Rick counted in his soft southern tones. 

"This is our lives!" Shane spat at his friend in anger. 

"Lower your voice." Glenn hissed as the doors gave another shake. 

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea sighed with a disappointing tone to her voice. 

"I would hate to agree with blondie but... We can't stay with walkers under 100 feet away." Phoenix huffed, pointing at the barn before shrugging. 

"It ain't right. Not remotely." T-Dog input quietly. 

"Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

"We can't go." Rick snapped at his friend. 

"Why, Rick? Why?" 

"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol said breathily, giving Shane a look of disgust at such a suggestion. 

"Okay. Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility." Shane laughed a little with a strange look in his eyes as he stared down the smaller woman. 

"We're not leaving Sophia behind!"

"I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago!" Daryl growled out, getting angrier by the second as the loud mouth former police man spoke. 

"You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll." The man scoffed. 

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"I'm just saying what needs to be said. You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours." He half whispered to his former colleague, making sure that everyone else could still hear him. 

"Shane, stop."

"Ye being a dickhead Walsh." Phoenix growled, her hand going to her knife in anger. 

"Let me tell you something else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction!" Shane snarled into Daryl's face with a look of sheer disgust on his face. Daryl shoved at Shane as his anger got the better of him, causing the group to begin to yell at each other.

"Back off!"

"Keep your hands off me."  Shane hissed at Lori.

"Now just let me talk to Hershell. Let me figure it out." Rick yelled, trying to defuse the situation before it became a fist fight. 

"What are you gonna figure out?!" Shane spat, gesturing to the barn in question. 

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

"Hershell sees those things in there as people... Sick people... His wife, his stepson." Dale spoke quietly, trying to get everyone to calm down. 

"You knew?" Rick gasped at the eldest group member.

"Yesterday I talked to Hershell." Dale said calmly, glancing at the group.

"And you waited the night?"

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did. I was waiting till this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one." The older man reasoned quietly as Shane glared at him in shocked anger. 

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershell thinks those things are alive or no -"

Phoenix scoffed at the noisy group before she walked around the side of the barn and looked up at the ladder. 

A Hayloft?

She glanced back at the rest of the arguing group and made her mind up and picked the torch lying in the grass up before her feet and hands pulled her quickly upwards. The smell made her gag slightly as she nearer the edge of the loft and looked downwards. The groaning mass turned their attention to her, broken and bloodied hands reaching upwards. She flicked on the torch she had grabbed and spun it over the creatures. 

"Oh shit." She gulped as she tried to do a head count. There was more than she expected there to be. How had they all gotten in here without people noticing?

Suddenly the beam of light landed on a smaller figure and her heart stopped.

"God no..." 

She turned and scrambled out of the hayloft and away from the barn as quickly as she could. As she reached camp, she leaned against a tree with her good hand and threw up all she'd eaten the last few hours. Her stomach feeling twisted and her heart completely shattered. 

It had to be her eyes playing tricks. It couldn't be her! It couldn't! Daryl had just found her doll two days ago! She wasn't in the fucking barn! She was simply lost out in the woods. 

No one noticed her throwing up or the tears streaming down her face. She fell to her knees gripping her hair tightly as she sobbed. Her rosaries fell from her shirt and she clutched them tightly in her fist. 

T-Dog was the first to notice the girl, who seemed to be in some distress. He nodded to Daryl and pointed to her. Daryl frowned and shrugged, he still felt guilty and was avoiding her. The most contact between them being when he had dragged her to Hershell. He shook his head at T-Dog and made his way to the house. 

Carl stood and frowned in confusion at Phoenix as she slowly stood. 

"What's wrong with you?" He asked curiously. She glanced down at him and walked away. Her hands itched, she needed to end the poor child's suffering for her mother's sake and the group's. It would destroy Hershell's trust in the group but to hell with that. Living with walkers less than 100 feet of them.

That wasn't going to fly. 

"Maggie. Hey, Maggie, just talk to me. Hey. Maggie." Glenn panted as he rushed after the girl, who finally paused and turned towards him. 

"Give me your hat." She held her hand out to him. "You said talk to you, I'm talking to you - Give me your hat." Maggie said quietly as Glenn handed her his hat before taking one of the eggs in the basket and placing it into the hat. Glenn looked puzzled for a moment before Maggie forcibly pushed the egg filled hat onto his ebony locks, the broken egg running down his face. 

"Why would you waste an egg like that?" He gasped flicking egg off his forehead. 

"I think it was rotten." Maggie snapped as she walked away. 

"Egg is good for ya hair Glenn. At least you'll have the best hair around here for a while." Phoenix chuckled as she glanced over her shoulder, continuing her way towards the farmhouse before spotting Carol sneaking around near the stables and heading, out of sheer curiosity, in that direction instead. 

"You can't!"  Phoenix heard Carol call out as she peered round the stable door.

"I'm fine." Daryl puffed out as he lifted a saddle down off the rack. 

"Hershell said you need to heal." 

"Yeah, I don't care." 

"Well, I do. Phoenix does too." Daryl's eyes flicked to the red head at the stable door before focusing back on the saddle. "Rick's going out later to follow the trail."

"Yeah well, I ain't gonna sit around and do nothing. Besides Rick can't track for shit." 

"Seriously Dixon?! You that pig headed that ye can't see ye need t' heal!? Ye really think I'd let Rick go out without me?" Phoenix snapped, her accent changing to a slight Irish lilt, as she entered fully, standing behind Carol and giving him a look. 

"Now ya talkin' t'me? Huh?" He spat in her direction before scoffing. "Mind ya own fucking business!" 

"No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse! We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl." Daryl paused and glanced at the grey-haired woman in shock. He couldn't believe he was hearing this from her mouth. "We don't. I don't."

"What?" 

"Carol....." Phoenix breathed in disbelief before glancing at Daryl. 

"Can't lose you too." 

Daryl threw the saddle in anger before clutching his side groaning. Carol rushed to his side and reached out to help but was brushed off.  "Are you all right?" 

"Just leave me be. Stupid bitch." He growled harshly as he limped away. Phoenix wrapped her arm around Carol's shoulders and smiled weakly. 

"He's just sore and upset Carol like a bear with a hangover. Just ignore him." 

"I know. Just wish he understood...." Carol said quietly, slipping out of the embrace and leaving the Brit to stand in the empty stable with her thoughts. 

"Come on in."

"A little light reading for lunch?" Rick asked, glancing at the bible beside the vet's plate. 

"Been working so hard lately I get my study in where I can." Hershell sighed, placing a bookmark into the holy book before gently setting it down on the table beside his plate.

"You know we can help you out with your work." 

"It's my field to tend." Hershell said quietly.

"We found the barn."

"Leave it be." Hershell said, his eyes not leaving the page. 

"Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way... your barn, your farm, your say." 

"I don't want to talk about the barn. I don't want to debate." The man said finally looking up at Rick. 

"Not a debate, a discussion." Rick reasoned quietly. 

"I need you and your group gone by the end of the week."

Rick sighed heavily. 

"I talked to Dale. You and I have our differences with the way we look at the walkers. Those people, they may be dead, they may be alive. But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you. You send us out there and that could change."

"I've given you safe harbor. My conscience is clear."

"This farm..." Rick pleaded as he sat down. "This farm is special. You've been shielded from what's been going on out there. Dale said you saw everything happen on the news. Well, it's been... It's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling." Hershell stood and walked away and Rick rushed after him to continue his plea. 

"The first time I saw a walker it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it. But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much much worse and it changes you. Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were. Please do not... do not send us out there again."

"My wife's pregnant."

Hershell turned away from the window to look at Rick in shock. "That's either a gift here or a death sentence out there. If we were to stay we could help you with the work, with securing this place. We can survive together." 

"Rick, I'm telling you we can't."

"You think about what you're doing."

"I've thought about it." Hershell yelled. 

"Think about it."

"I've thought about it."

"Think about it again. We can't go out there." Rick said as he left the building. Hershell glanced up at Maggie, who turned away from her father. 

"He's right ya know." Phoenix sighed, stepping round the doorframe. 

"Miss Black. What do I owe the pleasure?" Hershell said quietly, standing and entering the kitchen. Phoenix followed slowly and looked at the old vet in quiet confusion.  "Ah... The same as Rick no doubt."

"There's a great deal of shit I've done in the past. You and I both know it. But this...." She scoffed, following as the man left the building. "Why keep it secret? Ya could've told us from the get go" 

"We all keep secrets do we not? You have yours.... You have them to keep you safe... From your group... from Rick and Shane...  I did the same."

"Mr Greene we ain't gonna go in there guns akimbo! This is your land and we'd of respected your decision." She spoke quietly, figuring that yelling would do no good. 

"Not all of you..." The girl nodded and sighed. "You are a woman of faith. I believe those people are sick and that God will deliver them into health again. Have you lost your faith? Do you not have any hope left at seeing the men you wish again?" 

"Faith is a fragile thing these days..."

"My offer still stands, regardless of whether your group finds out your secret. This isn't up for discussion anymore. This is my land. Its been in my family for generations."

"Mr Greene.... There are dead men walking in your barn. And one way or another...  This fucking shit is gonna end real badly."

"The same will happen if your group find out your secret. I'm asking you not to act so I don't have to Amelia..." Hershell said quietly, raising himself to his full height and staring the girl down. 

"If that is a threat, think about your decision sir. Some things need to stay in the dark..." She said quietly before turning away. 

"And some find glory in the light." Hershell said after her, returning to his work. Phoenix bowed her head and walked off slowly towards camp.

Neither noticed a figure step out of the shadows and fold their arms, shocked and a little confused about what they had just heard. 

"You're a complete bastard ya know that right?" 

Daryl glanced up at the feisty girl in front of him and scoffed. "Don't ignore me arsehole. I'll put ya on ya back and beat some sense into ya." 

"Yea, like to see ya try. Better yet, fuck off away from me." He growled deeply, his eyes daring her to even lay a single finger on him.

"Dixon.... What you said to Carol was outta line! When someone is loosing hope like that... You're supposed to make them find it again. Not blow up at them and hurt yaself!" 

"She's given up... Ain't nothin' gonna change her mind now." He sighed defeatedly. Phoenix crouched down in front of him and lifted his chin to look at her, ignoring his flinch. She smiled sadly at him before nodding slightly. 

"Then maybe... Its up to you to find something to give her that hope again. Anything to give her that little glimmer of light in the dark." Her eyes flicked down at the dried flower near his feet before patting his knee and walking away.

Daryl stood and sighed, watching as she walked towards Beth, who nodded eagerly at her. 

"Go get your cap. I'll wash it for you, okay?" Maggie said as she pulled dales hat off his head. 

"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog asked as he walked up to the porch. 

"Where is everyone?" Andrea questioned as she walked beside T-Dog. 

"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn asked the pair. 

"He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago." Andrea replied softly. 

"Yeah you were. What the hell?" Daryl said as he and Carol joined the group around the farm house stoop.

"Rick told us he was going out." Carol puffed quietly, slightly out of breath from trying to keep up with Daryl's long strides. 

"Dammit. Ain't anybody taking this seriously? We got us a damn trail." Daryl snapped, waving his arm in the direction of where he'd found the doll a few days ago. "Oh, here we go."

Daryl walked up to Shane as the man walked towards the collective members of the group with the gun bat slung over his right shoulder. "What's all this?" 

"You with me, man?" Shane asked, holding out a shot gun to the redneck. "Phoenix?" 

"Yeah." Daryl replied, glancing at the Brit as she takes a gun out from the waistband of her pants and twirling it around her finger, as he took the offered shotgun. Shane nodded before turning to the rest of the group. 

"Ya had that all this time?" Daryl asked, cocking his head at the girl, who smirks in reply. 

"Time to grow up. You already got yours?" Shane said to Andrea over his shoulder as he passed by her. 

"Yeah." She said back quickly "Where's Dale?"

"He's on his way." 

"Thought we couldn't carry." T-Dog said confused as a handgun was placed into his palm. 

"We can and we have to. Look, it was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe. But now we know it ain't." Shane said pacing in front of the stunned group before turning to Glenn. "How about you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Glenn glanced at Maggie before taking the shotgun from Shane.

"That's it. Can you shoot?" Shane questioned the elder farmer's daughter. 

"Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these gun, my dad will make you leave tonight." Maggie snapped, glaring at the angry man. 

"We have to stay, Shane." Carl spoke up as he walked towards his angry uncle. 

"What is this?" Lori queried as she exited the house and stomped towards the group. 

"We ain't going anywhere, okay? Now look, Hershell, he's just gotta understand. Okay? He... Well, he's gonna have to. Now we need to find Sophia. Am I right?" Shane whispered as he kneeled down in front of Carl.

"Huh? Now I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes. You know how. Go on, take the gun and do it." 

Lori pushed Carl behind her quickly and snarled down at the man for daring to drag her son into the madness. 

"Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This is not your decision to make."

"Oh shit." T-Dog exclaimed, his gaze drawn to the edge of the forest and the sight of Jimmy taunting a walker being controlled by a leash. The group all turned and gasped. 

"What is that? What is that?" Shane panted as he took off running towards the trio with walkers on poles got closer to the barn. 

"Shane!" Lori yelled after him as she and the rest of the group followed him. 

"What the hell are you doing?" He yelled bursting though the rusted gate. 

"Shane, just back off." Rick yelled as he corralled the walker he was controlling away from Jimmy. 

"Why do your people have guns?" Hershell snapped, his glare going to the Brit, who lowered her guns and slipped them back into their place. 

"Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they're holding onto?" Shane gestured towards the walkers in disgust. 

"I see who I'm holding onto." Hershell stated, his face a stony mask.

"No, man, you don't." Shane growled angrily, dodging the walkers outreaching fingers as Jimmy ducked away from the others. 

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk." 

"What you want to talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick! They're not people! They're dead! Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill! These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis! They're gonna kill all of us!"

"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled over the growls and hisses. 

"Hey, Hershell man, let me ask you something." He asked as he pulled his gun from his waistband and checked the chamber. "Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane hissed before shooting the walker in the stomach. Phoenix flinched at the noise and glanced at the rattling chain as Shane pumped 3 shots into the chest of the walker. 

"No! Stop it!" Rick snapped as he grit his teeth. 

"That's three rounds in the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?" The angry man shot again and again.

"That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" Shane shot another round from his clip into the walker. 

"Shane, enough."

"Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough." Shane took the final shot and ended the walker, Hershell dropped the leash and paled. "Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" Phoenix glanced away from the barn at Shane's words, causing T-Dog to give her a questioning look.

"Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us!" 

"Enough!" Rick snarled, his grip on the catch pole sliding slightly. 

"Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now." 

Shane smashed open the barn doors and backed off quickly as a group of the undead stumbled out. 

"Take the snare pole. Hershell, take the snare pole. Hershell, listen to me, man, please. Take it now. Hershell! Take it!"  Rick pleaded as Hershell stared at the guns pointed towards his friends and family. 

"No, Shane. Do not do this, brother."

"Wait! Don't do it!"  Glenn yelled. 

"Rick!" Lori shrieked. 

"Please!" 

Shane ignored everyone's yelling and broke the lock on the doors with a pick axe before throwing them open.

"Come on. Come on, we're out here." Shane taunted, backing away slowly from the barn doors. 

"This is not the way!" 

"Please!" Beth cried out as Patricia wrapped her arms around the girl. 

"Get behind me." Lori whispered, shoving Carl behind her and trying to shield him. 

"Come on." 

The walkers scrambled and growled towards the group.  Phoenix bowed her head as Daryl gave her a glance before raising his gun and taking aim. Tears fell silently down her cheeks as she knew what was about to happen.

Something she could have warned the group about. 

"Maggie." Glenn whispered to the young woman, who was clutching her stunned father as tears flowed down her face too. 

"It's okay."  Maggie whispered and nodded  at Glenn who raised his own shotgun. 

"Stay back!" Rick yelled over the shots as Lori pulled Carl to the ground and hugged him tightly.  

The group panted as the barn doors slowly creaked and a lone figure appeared, blinking at the sudden change in lighting. 

"Sophia?" Carol sobbed, rushing towards the barn to her daughter before Daryl grabbed hold of her around the waist as she collapsed to the ground. "Sophia! Oh no. Sophia. Sophia. No!" 

Lori grabbed onto Carl and pulled him tighter against her as her heart broke for the other mother of the group. Carl sobbed as he stared at his friend's corpse stumbled towards the group. Rick pulled his gun out slowly and aimed at the little girl's head. Silence over took the land as a single shit was heard. 

"Don't watch." Daryl whispered to Carol as she sobbed. 

"Sophia!" Carol wailed as Phoenix turned and ran before her body had even hit the ground. 

[left-myself-in-the-alleyway]

Rant TW

I am so tired, and I have nothing to show for it. I’ve been thinking about this past year and where everything went wrong, why I suddenly couldn’t do the things I’ve been doing for years, and why I went from being so far ahead of everyone I knew, to being so far behind them all.

While I’ve been thinking about all this, I had met up with an old friend, and I suddenly remembered something I had forgotten about from years ago. We attended a session at a conference about Burnout, from someone who had suffered from it and was put out of commission for years. At the end of the session, we all filled out a page, just for ourselves, about where we sat with the warning signs of burnout. I filled out every single box except for one, and then I laughed and put it in my bag. Because what was a supposed to do? Just stop?

And so I kept pushing, I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. I pushed through the online classes with the pandemic, I pushed through the next year with severe Covid anxiety in a school where nobody cared. Looking back, I was falling apart at the seams. I snapped and said I couldn’t go back to that school, I had been there for 7 years. I decided I couldn’t take another year with the way the school was changing. I gave up graduating with a class I had been with for 7 years because I was breaking.

I don’t want to be cocky, but I gave up being valedictorian, all my friends told me they would have elected me. I gave up another year of academic awards. I gave up scholarships. I couldn’t breath anymore and so I snapped, and I left. I was left with two options, online distance education, or a public school where I knew for sure I would end up incredibly socially isolated and likely bullied. So I took the online option. I figured it would give me room to breath and enough spare time to get a job. I told myself I would finish my graduating year before Christmas and never look back. I had such high hopes. But that wasn’t the reality.

The second I had any space to breath, I shut down. I was terrified to do school, I didn’t know my teachers and stupidly high grades had left me with a bar that I was scared I couldn’t reach anymore. I was exhausted, and too scared to start, because if I tried and I failed, then that would mean I was a failure.

We live on a property that we moved onto a few years ago, and there have been a lot of projects and things my family wanted my help with since I was around anyways, so when I could I helped with that instead of doing school. “Oh just one more day” “well if I catch up on sleep now I will be able to get to work!” “I’m so tired today, maybe tomorrow”

“Maybe tomorrow” happened all year.

My friends are all graduated now. The new school year is about to start again. I have spent this entire year in near total isolation. What do I have to show for it? Nothing. I have barely done any work towards my graduation, and I’m exhausted.

So now I look back at all those burnout warning signs and I curse myself for not doing something. I also curse myself for leaving my school, perhaps forced deadlines and another year of exhaustion would have been better considering I’m exhausted anyways, and at least then I would have been done and would have graduated with my friends.

Perhaps one day I will look back on all this and laugh, but right now I am living in a hell of my own creation. I am an adult now, and I don’t even have a degree to show for it. Just a year of extreme anxiety and stress and exhaustion. My mother is disappointed, my family is disappointed, everybody keeps pressuring me to finish and I have cried more this year than I ever have before. I will not be attending university right out of highschool like I promised myself I would. Burnout isn’t a joke, please give yourselves some time to breathe or your body will force you to do it, and you won’t be happy about it.

[not-alien-girl-v]

Vampires Will Never Hurt You (Harry Styles)

Chapter 1

Note: this entire story is cringe keep in mind i was a lot younger when i wrote this also it was written in 2020 so yeah try not to judge me too hard

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"Immortality? Really Faye?" My best friend, Donna, gave me a death glare. The two of us were sitting in the bay window of my house, reading my grandmother's grimoire we had found in the attic.

"Hey, you're immortal, I'm immortal, it's not a big deal," I kept my head down and closely examined the page.

"You've been immortal for a long time, Callahan. I'm only in my 51st year and let me tell you, it's a big deal. It's a huge deal," Donna tried to reason with me, but I had already made up my mind.

"Look, I haven't officially learned how to do an immortality spell yet, and most witches my age have, so, I'm going to test it out on like, a frog or something," I murmured and Donna stood up from the window seat.

"What is this, Tuck Everlasting? You can't just have some immortal frog hopping around this place. This spell basically makes vampires, do you want some murderous, bloodthirsty immortal frog roaming the Earth freely? People could get hurt!" Donna stressed. I gave more thought into it and came to the conclusion that she was right, a frog doesn't know right from wrong, and as far as I knew, has no conscience. I knew I had to test it on a human instead.

"First of all, it was a toad in Tuck Everlasting, and maybe you'd know that if you'd actually read the book when I bought it for you 40 years ago, and second of all," I paused, "I get your point. I shouldn't make a frog my lab rat, but if not a frog, then what do you suggest? Any animal is going to be unkillable and bloodthirsty with this spell, so we could at least choose an animal who can't do much harm."

That sent Donna into deep thought. What animal could you barely tell the difference from if you turned it into a vampire? Bat? Mosquito? Tick?

Donna then lifted her finger up and gasped rather dramatically. "What if you alter the spell so that there's a weakness?"

"Good idea, how the hell do I do that?" I bookmarked and closed the grimoire.

"You think I know? You're a lot older than me, your whole family is. Why don't you ask one of them?" She sat back down.

"What, do you think I can just walk up to one of them and just ask how to give vampires weaknesses? They aren't going to approve of it," I told her.

"What about Charlie?" She was right.

That's the thing about my siblings, you had Maude, the oldest, who truly believes she is in charge of everything any of us do, you have Jane, the second oldest, the most powerful witch you'll ever meet but you'd never know, the two youngest, Leonard and Eleanor, who is constantly traveling the world together, me of course, the baby of the family, and then there's Charlie, the middle child. Charlie isn't your average witch, he knows how to have fun. If you're planning on doing something you know you shouldn't be doing, Charlie is your guy to go to.

"You're right. He might not approve of it though," I added, knowing that no matter who you are, immortality spells are not something to fuck with casually.

"Just be hypothetical, you know. Like, don't say, 'Hey Charlie, how do you edit an immortality spell so we can turn a frog into a vampire frog', just go with something like, 'if we were to be messing with vampiric immortality, how would you add weakness to the spell, right?" Donna suggested.

"Ok, you're right. I'm going to head over to their house to ask right now, wanna come along?" I asked Donna as I stood up, and whipped my long black hair behind me. I grabbed the old grimoire and slid it into my backpack.

"Yeah, can we go to Panera afterward? I heard they hired a few new cottagecore employees," Donna giggled.

"They're really doing that now, huh?" I asked as I walked out the door of the small house I shared with Donna.

"Yeah. You should get a job at IHOP!" She turned around in front of me excitedly as we walked to the car.

"Why? Because I'm goth?" I gave her an 'are you kidding me' look from my spot in the driver's seat.

"No, because your manners are impeccable and you're great with new people," she deadpanned back at me.

"Okay, okay, I'll consider it, should we go to IHOP instead of Panera to see if I can get an interview?" I gripped my hands on the steering wheel, but I'm fairly certain Donna had zoned out, as she was scrolling on her phone now.

"Yeah, sure." I loved that girl, but damn, she had a habit of not listening.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"Immortality, Faye? Again?" Charlie whined in his recliner in the living room of the Callahan's house, home to the eldest three siblings, and their mother, Cecilia. Charlie was definitely a creature of the night, he drank iced tea in that recliner and never moved all day, then went out and partied every night.

"That was one time, I didn't think immortality was gonna kill him. I thought it would, you know, make him immortal. And that's beside the point, I'm not going to test it on a human this time, I promise," I lied straight through my teeth, but he didn't need to know that. I sat down on the arm of his chair, hoping to get a straight answer out of him.

"Ok, don't tell me details, and I can't say no, sound good?" Charlie closed his eyes and shook his hands in a dismissing matter. That, my friends, is why we fuck with Charlie.

"Great, now weaknesses?" I put my hands together and gave him a sweet face.

"Right, okay, let's see, vampires, vampires, you'd probably want to go with something original, right, so, maybe like a stake to the heart, decapitation, garlic, sunlight, burning, holy water, etc?" Charlie somehow pulled all of those examples from his brain on the spot, amazing me.

"Actually, no. If I'm creating, as far as we know, the first vampire, I can't have the weaknesses be obvious, maybe we should go for something obscure, like only one specific item can kill them, you know?" I responded to his question.

"No, Faye, I really don't. But anyway, for the item, I'd suggest pricking them with that object while tracing the sigil, or better yet, if it's something sharp, use it to carve the sigil into them."

"That sounds a little gruesome, even for me. Maybe I'll go with the first choice," I paused, "not that it'd matter anyway because it's only gonna be on an animal." I gave my best fake smile, and he narrowed his eyes at me for a few moments then he just turned his head back to the TV.

"Whatever. I don't care, just don't kill anyone, including yourself, or else, I'm going to have to tell Maude, or maybe even Mom, and trust me, neither of us wants that. I'm going to IHOP tonight for dinner, are either of you interested in joining?" He lazily pointed his finger between me and Donna, and she seemed to widen her eyes.

"What, you got a thing against IHOP?" He asked Donna.

"No, it's just, well, since when do you invite us to go to dinner with you?" Donna muttered quietly.

"Since I don't trust you two alone with an immortality spell. I gave you tips, if this backfires, it's on me, so if you say no, I hope you know that you'll be joining me at IHOP tonight anyway," he warned us. Donna nodded her head, and we briskly walked away from the living room.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

[with-love-from-hell]

5 Sides of Human

{Part Twenty-One}

Genre: Mixed

WC: ~5.4k

CW: Illusion to past trauma, Diavolo being pushy and kind of a creep, Storm has a stutter but I am not depicting it with written word consistently, prolly lots of typos lol, spoilers for season 1&2, I'm skipping over/changing some things I didn't like in the main story so it will be a bit different from canon!

Series Masterlist

©️ artwork commissioned by @vivi8bit ©️  

“So why are you having to do all this now?” Vivi grumbled, annoyed that Storm had been digging into her and Satan’s time that should have been reserved for play-time with the cats in the HOL garden, but was now spent reading boring history books about the Devildom. 

Storm sighed, rubbing her temples. “Lord Diavolo and Lucifer are sort of...forcing me to. They think that I’m smart enough to have my training wheels taken off and do the normal exams that the other demons do, but all of this seems so complicated...” 

“This isn’t really giving you a lot of time to prepare.” Heart gave her a sympathetic glance. “Aren’t the exams in like...4 days?” 

“Yeah, that’s kind of shady of Dracula to do.” Vivi shrugged, trying not to show how annoyed she was at how stressed Diavolo had made Storm. “But you’re a book nerd, right? This should be easy for you.”

“But there’s so much here that I’ve never learned, and from classes I haven’t even taken. I just...don’t know if I’m as smart as they think I am...” Storm bit her lip, petting Malice’s belly a bit rougher than before to try to calm her anxiety. He squirmed between her legs, and flopped his head backward into her thigh, whining softly. 

Satan shook his head, dispelling any of her thoughts of being inadequate. “And even if you get some of the questions wrong, so what? They know you showed up half way through the semester and don’t have some of the information to fill the gaps.  I don’t think they’re expecting you to get 100% on the test, let alone any sort of A-level grade.” 

“But...” She sighs again, smoothing over her face in her hands. “This just makes me feel like they’re setting me up for failure. Why even bother if they don’t expect me to do well?” 

Heart mimicked Satan’s movement. “Storm, you won’t fail. You’re smarter than everyone in this damn house. Besides, we’re studying for a similar version of the exam, so we can help you too!” 

“Yeah, seriously!” Fern added, smiling and bumping their shoulder into hers. “Give yourself some credit. I almost got 0% 100 on my first exam and Lucifer didn’t even think that was possible for someone who showed up to all the classes, haha!” 

Storm gave a small smile that quickly fell back into a worried frown. The other 4 humans looked between each other with uncertainty. Simeon looked to Satan with concern, unsure of how to proceed. Satan sighed, flipping open the practice exam book that Lucifer loaned to him,

“Let’s try a little quiz to see what you know.” Satan sifted through the pages, trying to find a challenging, but not impossible, question. “Let’s see...This animal of myth is one of the most influential in Devildom history, and is known for it’s symbolism of rebirth and rejuvenation. It became widely used after the celestial war, when numerous changes occurred in Devildom politics as Lord Diavolo inherited the throne. What is it?” 

Storm paused, thinking for a minute. She had an answer right away, but was second guessing if the answer that came to mind was actually correct. “It’s...A three legged crow, right?” 

Satan nodded. “Mhm. Correct.” 

“Very good, Storm.” Simeon beamed at her, hoping that she would see that she knew more than she thought she did with this practice. 

“How the fuck did you know that?” Fern asked, completely befuddled as to how she got the answer right. 

“Well...You kinda see it everywhere if you pay attention.” Storm shrugged. “The stickers on our phone have them in there, and the logo on the back is of one too. Plus there’s lots of merchandise you can by that has the human world “good vibes” trope with the crows on it, so...I guess it was mostly just luck that I paid attention?” 

Vivi shook her head. “I mean that may be true, but I feel like Mammon probably wouldn’t know the answer to that question and he’s been here for how long now?” 

Satan snorted. “He does pay very little attention to his surroundings. How he hasn’t somehow walked into a sink hole by this point is kind of a miracle.” 

“That’s a nice way to say that he’s an absolute dunce.” Sarah cackled, nearly falling over laughing. 

“Hey, guys...come on now.” Storm looked around at the others who were laughing, finding it sad that they so easily insulted Mammon’s intelligence. He maybe wasn’t a genius when it came to a lot of things, but he was smart in his own right- especially when it came to math. There were numerous times when she was trying to figure out currency exchange rates to purchase something from the human world and he had helped her immensely with that, plus all of the extra work he did helping her budget for the play. The mental math he was able to fire off so quickly when they were calculating costs was very impressive, and she was saddened to see that the other exchange students really just saw him as a useless buffoon.  

Satan cleared his throat after finally getting his laughs out. “Okay, okay. Next question...” He thumbed through a few pages before stopping, tracing his finger down to a good question. “Okay. Next one. When the Devildom was created, it did not look like how it does today. What did it look like?” 

Storm furrowed her brows. “It was covered in a huge forest right? Like, trees so thick you couldn’t see the sky beneath their canopy?” 

“Absolutely, yes.” Simeon smiled widely. “Two correct answers in a row!” 

They went through a few more questions, each harder than the last, but Storm was able to rattle off correct answers to every single one. Simeon and Satan praised her for her knowledge, trying to convince her that she is smarter than she thinks she is. 

Storm shook her head, seemingly not believing either of them. “You’re asking me easy questions on purpose, Satan. There’s no way that’s what the exams are like given how you guys talk about them!” 

Before Satan could reply, the doors to the library suddenly opened, causing everyone’s attention to be pivoted. Lucifer stood with his arms crossed in the doorway, shifting his gaze amongst the individuals in the circle around the coffee table.  

“Storm, I need you to come with me.” Lucifer pretended not to notice the scowls amongst them at his request. “Now.” 

Storm swallowed, glancing to Simeon briefly. He gave a weak smile in response, indicating he had no idea what Lucifer needed from her so urgently. 

“Come on, gramps.” Fern rolled their eyes. “Can’t you see we’re busy here?”

“Yeah, if you’re gonna make Storm do this stupid hard exam, give her time to study!” Sarah pouted, trying to hide that she was only mad because she hadn’t gotten to spend more time with Storm yet. 

Lucifer scowled. “I didn’t ask for your commentary. I agree that she should have time to study, but she will have to make time for it later. Diavolo has requested her audience at the Castle, and it is non-negotiable.” 

Storm sighed, giving Malice’s ears a gentle squeeze before standing and walking toward Lucifer. She picked at her arms anxiously, refusing to meet his eyes. He had been distant the past few days, not really going out of his way to make sure Storm had what she needed for the exams since the night of the Bloody Moon. She was starting to grow even more concerned with the hot-and-cold shifting in his attitude toward her. One minute she seemed to believe he was completely infatuated with her, and the next it seemed like he could care less if she existed. That alone made her anxious as is, but the increasing texts from Diavolo requesting her to accompany him to dinner or come to the castle to spend time with him was making it so much worse. 

“Storm...” Lucifer murmured, leaning down and gently pulling her wrist away to stop the picking.  He felt bad at how anxious Diavolo’s behavior was making her, but he wasn’t sure how to address it. He was even more annoyed with the plethora of tasks he had been giving Lucifer to pull him away from spending time with Storm, seemingly to increase his chances of spending time alone with her. Storm seemed to be able to dodge them every time somehow, up until Diavolo realizing that the approach he was trying wasn’t working. “You may bring Malice along with you, if you wish. Diavolo didn’t explicitly express that he wasn’t welcome.”

Storm’s face lifted in relief. She was grateful that Lucifer was accommodating to her needs. “Thank goodness.” 

Lucifer smiled briefly as Storm called to the dog, causing Fern to whine in displeasure at the fluffy dog being pulled away from their hands. They walked together down the hall to the foyer, and Lucifer helped her into her coat and held the door for her. They walked together toward the castle in relative silence. Both had their thoughts passing quickly through their brain, trying to figure out what to say to the other. Usually, the silence between them would be tension free, and they would each find significant comfort in each other’s silent company. But the unease over where the other’s feelings lie and how to communicate to the other how they felt without saying it out loud took up the usually comfortable space instead. 

Malice trotted close to Storm’s side, occasionally glancing up at Lucifer. The dog appeared to not mind Lucifer as much as his other brothers (with the obvious exception of Beelzebub), but was still wary around him. Malice noticed the back-and-forth mood shifts that happened with Storm when she was around him, and had a hard time pinning down his intentions. Whether or not he was a threat, the dog couldn’t be quite sure. But he did appear to care for and prevent other harm from inflicting upon Storm, and he made an effort to be peaceful with him- so that much indicated that he should be safe.  

As they approached the gate to the castle, Storm found her heartbeat increasing more with each step. It wasn’t until they were greeted by Barbatos though that Storm’s anxiety made her stomach begin turning in knots. Barbatos eyed her carefully as she entered the castle, and it’s not like she couldn’t tell that he was analyzing her every movement. Malice circled her in the foyer as she stripped off her coat, glaring intensely at Barbatos as he did so. This demon was more of an obvious threat, so he had to have his awareness up around the butler- even if his exterior was calm and collected. 

“The young master awaits you in the garden.” Barbatos smiled coldly, before dropping his gaze down to Malice. “Though, I don’t believe he included the dog in his invitation.” 

Malice grumbled lightly, pressing himself firmly against Storm’s legs. 

Storm swallowed, gripping Malice’s leash so tightly that her knuckles turned pure white. “I...uh...I need him with me though.” 

Barbatos chuckled, but it seemed to hold less amusement than it normally would. “Miss Storm, you survived an entire year in the devildom previously without your pet. Perhaps the way you mean to convey your words is that you merely want him at your side.”

Storm swallowed, cursing herself for feeling tears well up behind her eyes. Before she could stammer out a reply, Lucifer stepped in front of her. 

“Barbatos, I was the one who informed her she could bring him along.” Lucifer narrowed his eyes. “Storm has made us aware from the beginning that this animal is no mere pet. He acts in service to her, and aids in her difficulties with anxiety.” 

He paused, glancing back at Storm to ensure this disclosure was okay. She smiled gratefully at him. Lucifer nodded, giving a small smile in response before continuing: 

“I would appreciate you not questioning Storm when it comes to her own needs. I can corroborate the fact that the dog does aid in the ways she says he does, and she has been getting on much better here with his presence.” 

His voice was terse, which Storm found unusual for the way that he and Barbatos usually conversed. She glanced between the two of them as they stared each other down for a moment. Finally, Barbatos spoke, his voice was smooth, but there was an odd twinge of irritation behind his tone.

“Regardless of the circumstances surrounding it, I am sure the young master will still allow his audience, as he has done nothing but talk me to death about his excitement for having Miss Storm here for dinner...Though a proper notice- or rather, request to have the dog present would be something to consider in the future.” 

Without another word, Barbatos turned on his heel and briskly paced toward the north hallway, beckoning them to follow. 

Storm sighed in relief as she followed behind, now walking extremely close to Lucifer’s side. Malice walked on the other, sandwiching her between the two to keep her feeling secure. Both glared at the back of Barbatos’ head as they walked trying to determine why he was so eager to paint Storm as an antagonist. 

“Ahh Storm!” Diavolo’s voice boomed through the garden as she approached, causing her to wince. “I’m glad you could finally make it! And you’ve brought Malice. How wonderful!” 

Storm smiled nervously, offering a curtsey in response. “Thank you for the invitation, my Lord.” 

Lucifer smirked, finding it hard not to find her strict adherence to etiquette charming. No matter how many times she witnessed his brothers completely disregard his teachings, she still presented to the Demon lord as oddly formal, and he appreciated the seriousness in which she took his position- even in circumstances that didn’t necessarily require it. 

Diavolo let out a hearty laugh at Storm’s greeting. “No need for formalities, my dear. Come! Sit!” 

Storm laughed nervously, finding the use of a pet name a bit uncomfortable. She obliged though, taking a seat across from Diavolo at the garden tea table. Laid out on the table was a small plate of hellfire mushroom rolled cigar cookies and Linzer tarts, accompanied by black tea. Lucifer sat in the space between them and eyed the tarts suspiciously, recognizing them as one of Storm’s favorite sweets. 

“How are your studies coming?” Diavolo folded his hands on the table, leaning forward eagerly.   “The exam is coming up soon! I surly hope you are feeling prepared?”

Storm nodded, beginning to pick at the skin on her arms. “I-it’s going okay, I think. I was studying with Satan and the other exchange students before this, and they seem to feel pretty confident in me.” 

“As they should. You’re intelligence is impressive, Storm.” Diavolo’s lids fell slightly as he looked her up and down. “We are lucky to have such a model exchange student leading the way for the next cohort.” 

“Uh...thank you...” Storm swallowed, digging her long nails deeper into her skin. “I don’t know if I’m really all that worthy of all that praise though.” 

“Nonsense!” Diavolo laughed. “You truly are too humble for your own good, Storm. It’s hard not find it endearing.” 

Malice shoved his way underneath the table, plopping himself between Storm’s legs. He grumbled when he saw Lucifer reach a hand over toward her, though ceased when he noticed it was to stop her from picking at her skin. 

“Lord Diavolo and I wouldn’t have done this if we didn’t think you were capable.” Lucifer eyed Storm from his peripherals, noticing her posture start to relax after placing his hand over hers. “There’s no need to be so hard on yourself.” 

Storm nodded in response, but remained quiet. Diavolo shifted his gaze between her and Lucifer for a moment, noticing how she seemed to relax with his intervention and touch. He cleared his throat, swallowing down the jealousy he felt at Lucifer’s effect on her, and how unresponsive she seemed to his attempts at flirting. 

“I had Barbatos make us some delectable treats for our meeting.” Diavolo gestured to the plate in the center of the table. “Please, help yourselves!” 

Storm tilted her head, recognizing the jam-filled cookies scattered about the tray. “Are these-” 

“Linzer cookies!” Diavolo interrupted excitedly, taking one off the tray and holding it out to her. “I know you are fond of them, and honestly I have grown to enjoy them after you baked some for the new-years event during the last exchange program.” 

Storm took the cookie with a nervous smile. “Thanks...yeah, they are pretty good.” 

She nibbled the cookie slowly as Diavolo talked, nodding along but finding herself drifting in and out of the conversation as he went on about future plans for the exchange program. She found her mind wandering to the exams, and her anxiety about failing the test. Lucifer watched her out of the corner of his eye, noticing the same vacant expression present in Mammon during council meetings. 

“-And that’s why the angels have been proving more difficult to rekindle with. Anyways though, I want to hear more about you, Storm.” 

Storm jolted her mind back to the present. “Huh?” 

Diavolo laughed. “I want to know more about you. Lucifer and his brothers have gotten to know you so well- and I feel like I’ve missed out...Even the new exchange students seem to be getting to know you more than I or Barbatos has.” 

Storm stole a glance to where Barbatos stood. Her eyes met his briefly before she shot her gaze back down to the table, not liking the way he was sizing her up. “W-what do you want to know?” 

“Hmm...” Diavolo thought for a moment, bouncing a tea spoon in his fingers. “Well, for starters, I’ve only had a small glimpse into what life was like for you in the human world.” 

Storm nodded, swallowing hard. “Well...Life wasn’t that great for me up there- I suppose I’ll just leave it at that.”  

Diavolo cocked his head. “What do you mean by that?” 

“I...I’d rather not talk about it.” Storm tensed, gripping the hem of her tunic in her fingers tightly. 

“Surely it can’t be that bad.” Diavolo chuckled, but his playful smile fell when he noticed Lucifer’s pointed glare and Storm’s closed body language. “...can it?”

“Perhaps we can talk about something other than Storm’s past.” Lucifer lifted his eyebrows, signaling for Diavolo to drop the topic.

“Very well then...what did you do while you were away from us? I’m sure given all the shenanigans you got into here with the brothers you must have some fascinating stories from the human world, hmm?”

“I didn’t do much...for the most part, I just went back to work and spent time with Malice. I don’t really have a very exciting life.” Storm shrugged, refusing to meet his hopeful eyes. “I’m sorry to disappoint you.” 

Diavolo blinked a few times, trying to figure out how to respond. Before he could open his mouth though, his phone began to ring loudly from his pocket. He gave an apologetic smile before answering the call, his tone growing increasingly serious with each moment that passed. As he hung up the phone he stood, giving another apologetic smile to the pair before him. 

“My apologies for having to cut this tea date short, but I do hope we can come together again soon. I am needed elsewhere now, so please, take what cookies are left to bring to the house of lamentation.” 

Lucifer and Storm shared a worried glance before standing to leave. As they began to walk away, Diavolo snatched her by the wrist and gently pulled her backwards out of earshot from Lucifer. Her eyes widened as he leaned down to her ear, obviously not wanting Lucifer to overhear their conversation. 

“I do hope next time you come by yourself. I would like to spend some time together- just the two of us.” Diavolo smiled warmly, lifting Storm’s wrist and placing a kiss on the inside of her palm. “I look forward to it.” 

Storm nodded anxiously, immediately pacing away when Diavolo dropped her hand. He watched, sighing wistfully as she exited the gardens by Lucifer’s side. Barbatos approached with a look reminiscent of a scowl on his face, clearly unamused. 

“Young Master, given the circumstances, you should not be inviting Miss Storm for tea. It would be more more appropriate for you to be interrogating her.” Barbatos’ voice was a cold hiss, snapping Diavolo out of his lust-filled daze. 

“Oh, come off it, Barbatos.” Diavolo shook his head. “Even if she is responsible for all of these things happening, I doubt that she has any knowledge of it. Storm hardly seems like the type to even harm a mere insect. Perhaps Solomon’s newest insights can lead us to a better conclusion.” 

Barbatos sighed. “And what if his findings lead to the same conclusion? You mustn’t grow attached if we may need to-” 

“Enough.” Diavolo’s voice became firm and deep, the tone indicating his seriousness. “I understand you want to be cautious, but you need to trust me on this, Barbatos.” 

The butler sighed. “Very well. But please do keep my sentiments in mind. Time is of the essence and we have limited amounts of it before something must be done.” 

“What the...Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on here?!” Lucifer yelled, causing all the individuals in the kitchen to grow deathly silent. He and Storm had only walked 5 feet past the threshold to the HOL before hearing an explosion from the kitchen. The 5 individuals scattered about the kitchen groaned as Storm and Lucifer appeared through the smoke to see the entire room had been painted in a mixture of potato skins and mash. 

“W-well...Ya’ see...” Mammon stammered, quickly trying to clean himself of the numerous potato skins covering his body.

“We were only trying to help...” Sarah muttered nervously from where she sat on the floor, trying to rub the mash out of her eyes

Fern groaned, rubbing the spot on their head from where they had hit the ground. Storm nearly shrieked, rushing over to help them to their feet. They tried to regain their balance, as Lucifer repeated his question more harshly, tapping his foot and awaiting an answer. 

“Solomon and I are competing to see who’s a better cook.” Fern shook their right leg out, and a ton of potato mash slid out from their pant leg. “I was trying to soften potatoes in the microwave cuz it’s faster, and I need mash potatoes for the sheepy pie and-”

“Shepard's pie.” Belphie corrected. His voice seemingly came from nowhere, but Storm was able to catch sight of the toe of his boot from under the center island, though it was hard to tell given the amount of potato mash that covered the kitchen. 

“Whatever!” Fern threw up their arms in exasperation, now pacing the floor. 

“Fern apparently didn’t poke any holes in them and set the microwave way too high.” Sarah sighed, smacking the side of her head to get potato out of her ear. “And they decided to fill it to the brim instead of doing a couple at a time.” 

“Well I don’t know!” Fern yelled, crossing their arms. “I asked y’all for help and you weren’t giving very much of it!” 

“Why...are there so many?” Storm glanced around the kitchen, seeing two full sacks of potatoes behind the counter that were half her size in addition to the mash covering the kitchen. “You said you’re making a shepherds pie, right? You only need like, 2 or 3 single potatoes for 1 batch.” 

“We figured they may have to make a few attempts.” Sarah shrugged. “But they also insisted on getting extra.” 

“I also wanted extra.” Beel added from the corner behind her, seemingly unscathed by most of the mash. He smiled warmly at Storm when her and Lucifer turned their attention to him, happily engulfing a raw potato.

Fern shook their head. “If I don’t learn how to make this thing I’ll lose a bet and-” 

“Is that so?” Lucifer narrowed his eyes and snapped his attention toward Mammon. “A bet, hm?” 

“It wasn’t my idea!” Mammon nearly yelled, pointing toward Sarah. “She came up with it! I swear!” 

Sarah fanned her lashes at Lucifer as he turned his attention to her. “Oh, Wittle old me? I wouldn’t dweam of doing something so tewible! You know its wrong to tell fibs, Mammy!” 

“I told ya not t’ call me that!” Mammon snapped. “And it was yer idea ya little-”

“ENOUGH!” Lucifer’s breath was heavy as he tried to hold back his anger. “I don’t care who is responsible. If this kitchen isn’t cleaned up in the next 5 minutes, all of you are going to hanging from the ceiling for the next 5 centuries. Now get on it!” 

He turned on his heel, the squelching of potato underneath his foot falls fading as he exited the kitchen and made his way toward his office. Storm sighed, hating to see Lucifer in such a frazzled state. Brushing off the mash from the stove, she turned back to Fern. 

“Get me a deep skillet, Fern.” She ordered firmly, causing them to blink in confusion. 

“Wha?” 

“You said you need to know how to make a shepherds pie, right? Well, I’m on dinner duty. I’ll show you how.” Storm shrugged. “Besides, we need to find use for these potatoes now.”

Fern’s eyes lit up in excitement, happily following Storm’s directions and rummaging through the cupboard for the right pans. She turned to Mammon and Sarah, who had begun arguing about whose idea the bet was, narrowing her eyes. 

“You two: do you want to hang from the ceiling like Lucifer said?” Storm gestured to the kitchen around her. “I am not cooking in this mess. Now get cleaning.” 

Mammon and Sarah shared a nervous glance before scrambling around the kitchen, searching for any means that would help them clean the potatoes quickly. 

“Beel, would you mind helping me get some other ingredients down from the pantry? You’re welcome to help yourself to an entire bag of those potatoes if you do.” Storm smiled warmly at him as he eagerly obliged, rushing over to her side and beginning to pick out various herbs and spices that she typically used while cooking down from the tall cabinet. “And Belphie?” 

Belphie groaned. “What?” 

“Would you mind quizzing me on potions while I cook? I don’t want to lose study time. Satan has a study guide, go get it from him.” 

He peaked his head out from the side, a look of confusion on his face. “Wait, really?” 

She turned to him, cocking an eyebrow. “Do I look like I’m joking?” 

Belphie shrugged, sliding out from under the island and in a hurried pace, fled the kitchen to retrieve the item she needed. 

Storm rolled up her sleeves and tied her hair into a tight bun before turning back to Fern. “Alright. Lets do this.”

The exam day arrived and went by relatively smoothly. Despite Storm’s nerves, she was able to complete the exams with relative ease. It wasn’t until the end of the day when the scores were posted that her anxiety really began to manifest, resulting in Fern and Mammon practically dragging her down the hallway to see her exam scores on the bulletin board.

“I don’t want to look at my scores in front of everyone guys.” Storm whined, desperately trying to pull herself free from their hold. 

“C’mon, Storm!” Mammon pleaded. “We already looked at ‘em, and we want ya to see how well ya did!” 

“Seriously!” Fern’s step took on a bit of a bounce to keep up with Mammon’s long strides. “You’re gonna get blown backwards after seeing it!” 

They stopped just outside the crowd that had amassed around the bulletin board. Amongst the sea of demons who whispered amongst themselves was Beel, Belphie, Solomon, Levi, and Heart, who had been awaiting their arrival. They waved them over, managing to get the crowd of demons to open a path for them to come through to the front. Storm squeezed her eyes shut as they pulled her forward, not liking that she had already heard her name numerous times from the demons in the crowd. 

“Storm, I can’t believe it!” Heart giddily squealed, giving her a tight hug. “I wonder what Diavolo is gonna say!” 

Storm sighed, peaking her eyes open slowly to look at the spreadsheet of scores. Her eyes sifted down the list of names, her heart pounding in hear ears. Her gaze finally stopped on her name, and slowly panned to the number collum parallel to it. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes widened as her brain fully processed the bold “500″ on the page. 

“What?” She gasped out, finally managing to pull her hands free and make her way closer to the board. “That...that can’t be possible, right?” 

“Congrats, Henry!” Levi called from behind her. “We should celebrate!” 

“Yeah, even Satan hasn’t ever managed to get a perfect score on the global exams.” Belphie added. “I think we should do something special.” 

“No, no...” Storm shook her head turning back to them. “I mean, this has to be fake, right? There’s no way I could get a perfect score.” 

“We reviewed it 5 times over, Storm.” Diavolo’s voice from her side startled her, causing her to yelp and flinch away. She hadn’t even heard them approach, let alone seen them. The prince clasped a hand to her shoulder, squeezing a bit roughly. He had a wide smile on his face, clearly pleased with the results of the exam. “We are all amazed by your ability!” 

Lucifer gave a weak, apologetic smile as she turned to face where he and Diavolo now stood. “You did very well. Good job.” 

Storm blushed, rubbing her arm anxiously. “Thank you...but what does this mean now?” 

“That is something we are still trying to decide!” Diavolo beamed. “But we will keep you informed. Only good things are to come from this!” 

“Between your intelligence and magical affinity, I’m definitely becoming more curious about you myself.” Solomon added from behind her, a sly smile playing on his lips. “You may actually surpass me in your abilities.” 

Storm shrugged. “I dunno, I highly doubt that, Sol.” 

“Regardless, I agree with Belphegor.” Diavolo smiled warmly. “I believe a celebration is in order. Lucifer, bring your brothers to the castle later this evening. We will have something special planned!” 

“How did you manage to screw it up this bad, Fern?” Sarah grimaced after spitting her spoonful of shepherds pie into the napkin. “Didn’t Storm show you exactly how to make it?” 

“Oh, You had help?” Solomon let out a chuckle, crossing his arms. “I believe that was against the rules wasn’t it?” 

Mammon let out a groan from across the table. “Clearly it don’t matter that they had help.” 

“Solomon’s isn’t any better, guys. Don’t get your hopes up.” Heart shuddered, pushing his plate away from him as far as he could. 

“Blech. Can confirm.” Belphie shook his head. “Seriously, the two of you are hopeless.” 

“So who wins?!” Fern pouted, looking between the four individuals at the table. “One of them has to be better!” 

“I actually had a really fun time making it.” Solomon smiled, pointing to the skillet he had brought with him from purgatory hall. “I wanted to make sure to save some for Storm, since we’re celebrating her tonight after all!” 

“Oh no you don’t!” Vivi growled from behind him, snatching the pan off the table and chucking it against the wall. “Seriously, are you trying to kill her!?” 

“What do you mean?” Solomon blinked in confusion, causing Vivi to let out a long, exasperated sigh.

“You really are clueless, aren’t you?” Vivi shook their head, turning and going back to trying to rig a trap in the doorway for Lucifer to walk into. Solomon shrugged, turning and entering the kitchen to try his hand at something else for Storm’s gift. 

“Okay but WHO WON!?” Fern asked louder. The individuals at the table groaned in response, their stomachs clearly turning from both meals that were presented to them. 

“Honestly I think it’s a tie.” Belphie shook his head. “They’re both pretty bad.” 

“Aw, so no one gets punished?” Sarah pouted, crossing her arms. “No fair!” 

“Why don’t you make both of them the losers?” Vivi called back over her shoulder, fumbling with the metal wire. “That way they both get humiliated and Dracula gets shit on twice as much.” 

“Good idea!” Sarah smiled evilly. “We’re doing that!” 

Fern and Belphie groaned, giving each other an uneasy glance. Sarah stood and skipped gleefully over to the side of the table where Fern and Belphie were, hooking them both under each arm. 

“I can’t wait to see how this plays out, hehe.” 

[dreadnotau]

Big (but sort of not big) announcement time! (At the bottom is a TL;DR if you don’t have time to read paragraphs of my ramblings.)

First thing’s first, I got into college!!! A lot of you probably don’t know, but it’s been a massive uphill battle to practice for the exams to enter the art college I wanted. It’s why I haven’t been posting basically anywhere but here since the year started. It was a lot of work and stress, but it paid off! I’m gonna be studying subjects and doing art things that I’m ACTUALLY interested in! No more are the days of dreading the next German test or pulling my hair out because of some bullshit math equations, from now on it’s just blood, sweat and tears poured into canvases, baby!

Joking aside, this is genuinely monumental for me. Though it DOES mean I’m gonna be pulled thin on my time and creative juices the moment the first semester starts, I’m still excited to keep working on Dread Not alongside the schoolwork I’ll inevitably have to do, too. This comic is, as I’ve said many times, my biggest passion project yet, and the fact that I stuck with it for over a year now is another thing I have to be very proud of.

But, in all honesty, this project wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for my best friend, Meow! As some of you may know (or maybe noticed the changed bio), Meowchela is the co-author of Dread Not, and is the one who encouraged me to go through with a full comic telling of the story, (instead of just letting it sit idly in my brain like most of my Deltarune and Undertale AUs do, whoops) so, again, you have her to thank for all of this. She’s not directly involved with the creation of the pages (yet?), but she is the one who helped add many characters, sideplots, and satisfying conclusions to what was, originally, just an AU about Toriel, Asgore, Spade, Gaster, and Kris, as well as helping with designing characters both that appear later on and have appeared already (Rouxls’ fabulous design was made by her!)

The reason I bring this all up in detail now is because she is now OFFICIALLY credited as a co-author. I used to just mention her in posts and tags, as well as give her a special role in the discord server, but now she’s credited alongside me in the bios of both the Twitter and the Tumblr accounts! The reasons why she didn’t want to be credited until recently are her own, but I hope you all give her as warm a welcome as you gave me as a fellow author of Dread Not! She knows this story better than anyone (better than even me sometimes, whoops x2) and I hope we can all see it through to the end!

Don't take my word for it all, though, here's a statement from Meow:

Hello everyone! I'm Meow, who you now know as the co-author for Dread Not! I've been around for this project since the concept stages, and seeing all of your love and support for it means so much more than I can reliably say. You may now be wondering why I've been so silent despite being around for so long, and the answer to that is very personal. All I'll say is that it took a while to build up the courage to allow Kooki to even mention me by name (and trust me, he's wanted to since we made the blog!) and so having a proper credit like this is monumental. I'm happy to finally be more front and center for the project, even if still a litle nervous! =w=;;

Thank you for reading from the bottom of my heart. Seeing everyone being so kind about the comic is half the reason I came out of my shell in the first place. While it's true that without me the comic wouldn't exist, in turn my efforts would never have been realized had it not been for all of you! So thank you again, and I hope you're as excited for what's to come as I am!

And, lastly, and kind of least importantly (to me), I’ll be postponing this week’s page. Both so I can relax for 2 seconds after my exams, and so I can have more ready for the week after this one. I’m gonna be going on vacation soon, too, so I’ll try to have a page ready for posting while I’m away from home. And, if it’s not ready, it’ll just be postponed for a week, too. You guys have dealt with longer hiatuses, it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

TL;DR: Kooki is in college now and October is gonna kick his ass. Meowchela is now officially credited as a co-author of Dread Not. This week’s page will be postponed so I can actually go touch grass for once.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your continued support of this comic! Act 1 is in it’s last third, and progress on Act 2 is looking promising. Stay tuned!