#i go to my empty doc and leave 10 minutes later with a total of still zero (0) words in that doc :D

[goldenhypen]

i somehow squeezed 2 whole riki drabbles out last night sooo yay to overcoming my lil writing slump !!

[criminalrambling]

Checkers and Coffee

Pairing: spencer reid x reader

Rating: G , fluffy! Some mention of a stalker, typical unsub stuff but story does not take place during a case. Enjoy the cute!

__________________________________________

The Charleston sun was still rising, not yet heating the air to sweltering, and the morning smelled of coffee and salt water. Most people would have been asleep at their vacation homes at this time of day, but you happened to be seated in a cozy booth at the local diner across from a certain tall, tousle-haired Doctor. The rest of his team had left earlier that morning on their jet, but unrelated to their recent case, they were transporting two Marines back to DC and two people needed to wait for a later commercial flight… you’d all drawn straws, and the lucky agents to stay behind were yourself and one Dr. Spencer Reid. 

You’d checked out of the hotel, but hadn’t wanted to go to the airport just yet. So you’d convinced Spencer to join you at one of your favorite places for a few cups of coffee and breakfast. It must have been the lack of sleep combined with lack of coffee that caused you to challenge someone with an eidetic memory to a strategy game.

“You really think you can beat me?” His brown eyes glinted as he raised his left brow and smirked. 

You rolled your eyes and nudged the round crimson game piece one space forward. “It’s checkers, Spencer. Not chess.”

“True,” he responded, scooting forward a black piece of his own. “But there’s still a significant amount of strategy involved. Did you know that versions of checkers were played as far back as 3,000 BCE? Archaeologists found evidence of a similar game in the Iraq city of Ur, and there have been other versions played throughout history. Though I’m not sure any of those versions involved a fabric board…” 

His sentence was cut off by a grey-haired waitress who took your breakfast orders with military precision and a smile. You didn’t place a dainty order either. If Spencer thought you were a gluttonous cow, then so be it… breakfast was the best meal of the day, and you didn’t make it to Fleetwood Diner nearly often enough. You were pleased that Spencer took your suggestion of pancakes as part of his order, though his were plain and not the blueberry ones you preferred. 

“Playing checkers at the Fleetwood Diner is tradition in these parts. At least, in my family it is.” You countered, jumping one of his pieces and trying not to gloat as you snatched it off the board. “Your turn.”

“Well, if it’s a tradition in the Y/L/N family then I’m happy to partake.” he shrugged, and gulped down more coffee out of the stout, thick handled cup. “Is it just me, or does coffee taste better when it’s served in this kind of mug?”

You grinned and looked over your shoulder to see where your waitress was. “Not just you - I love diner mugs. In fact, a couple of Fleetwood ones may have mysteriously made their way into my kitchen cabinet.”

“A federal agent, admitting to thievery!” Spencer laughed. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through your body at the sound of his laughter and the way his wide grin made his eyes crinkle.  You hadn’t heard that laugh in several days, maybe even a week? Despite the busy workload in the intelligence department of the FBI, you’d taken off for South Carolina as soon as your sister had called asking for your help. The BAU had come down a couple of days later after you’d phoned JJ, the panic and emotion in your voice convincing her to bring the team to your hometown to help. The fact that everything had worked out… well, the fact that you were even able to smile was truly something to be thankful for. 

Your sister’s 6 year old son James had gone missing from the University day-care that he attended after his half day of kindergarten. It turned out that one of her former students, now going by a new name, had targeted her. He was jaded since she’d turned him down shortly before her wedding 7 years ago and coveted the life she’d built. After 3 days of dedicated work on the geographical profile, James was found in an abandoned warehouse. He had been unharmed but was very dehydrated. The UnSub was located a few hours later as he was en route to the University, where he would have… well, done something terrible to your sister. 

“I owe you one,” you smiled back, moving another piece. “And not just for keeping my diner mug secret. There’s no way I could have handled this one out without you and your team. It means the world- thank you.” 

“Oh, I’m sure…” he started to brush off the commend, looking a tad sheepish before you cut him off with a look and placed your hand on top of his, squeezing gently. He gulped. “You’re welcome.”

You withdrew your hand awkwardly, hoping to whatever higher power there was that your cheeks weren’t changing colors. The two of you continued moving your checkers pieces, and you downed the last sip of your coffee before reaching for the pot the waitress had left on the table. 

“The only flaw of these mugs… they aren’t nearly large enough.” You joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

The corners of Spencer’s mouth turned up slightly. “I was debating doing some research through the biomedical engineering program at Johns Hopkins… There has to be a way to inject coffee straight into the bloodstream.”

“Might even earn yourself another PhD, smarty pants.” you played along, teasing him. You loved the way he lit up at the banter as you went back and forth.

“One can never have too many PhDs.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“No PhDs, and yet you’re winning at checkers.”

“Are you letting me?”

“No. Do you want me to?”

“No!” You gasped. “I like to win fair and square.”

“Oh, that’s too bad…” He smirked, and double jumped your pieces. “I might just have to make a comeback.”

“You son of a…” 

“Pancakes!” chimed your waitress, swooping them down to your table. They looked perfect, as always, and your mouth watered. You knew they would taste even better. “And the blueberry, with extra crispy bacon. Syrup is on the table, anything else I can get you?”

“More coffee?” You and Spencer said in unison, looking at each other in embarrassment when you realized it had happened. 

“That would be amazing, thank you.” You told the waitress as she took the empty pot from your table and said she’d be back momentarily.

You ate in silence for a few minutes - both due to the delicious food and also to take in what you were feeling. Of course, you felt relieved that your family was healthy and safe. Genuinely thankful for the smarts and skills of the BAU, especially those of the man across from you. You also felt… nervous? Oh dear, were those butterflies? 

Of course, you knew Spencer prior to his arrival in Charleston to help with the case. You both worked at the Bureau and everyone knew the BAU team. You’d been with Spencer at a couple of functions (not together, just… there at the same time), and had gotten to know a few other members of the team over the years. Your department frequently passed cases their way, so you worked with JJ and Penelope most often. You’d always found Spencer handsome, but figured he was either already seeing someone, well out of your league or just… not interested. 

But now, after spending the last several days in close quarters and under emotional stress, you felt that something had changed. The entire team was great, but Spencer in particular had been sweet, supportive and focused on helping you and your family. And when your nephew had finally been found, he'd been the one to talk to him, probing for details that would help in the UnSub’s capture. He'd pulled a magic trick to make James laugh, and you could immediately see how much he loved kids. Something about that combined with the extra time together… well, now that you weren't so anxious about your family, your attraction to him was ramping up into a desire for more than just the casual acquaintance you had before. 

But did he feel the same? 

The coffee arrived and you finished your last piece of bacon. 

"So, uh.." Spencer started, fiddling with a sugar packet. "What time is our flight?" 

"10:30.” you replied, sipping your coffee. It was just after 7:00. “So we should probably be there around 8:45 or so and it takes 45 minutes to get there…we can grab our checks if you want to leave a little extra time to grab our luggage from the hotel.”

“Okay, yeah. That would be good.” He flagged down the waitress quietly. “Can I get the check? Thank you so much.”

She handed over the seafoam green order slip, to which was paper clipped a crisp white receipt. He scanned the total briefly and handed it back with his card tucked inside faster than you could even move to pull out your wallet. You pulled it out anyway, feeling a bit flustered. 

“What do I owe ya, Doc?” you joked, flipping through the cash in your wallet. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he responded, the pitch of his voice rising ever so slightly. “My treat, Y.N. Besides, isn’t it normal for a gentleman to… well, not that this is a… um, never mind.” He looked back to your now-forgotten checkers board, his lips narrowed together in concentration. 

You grinned, hoping that you had heard him right. “I love a breakfast date. Even better than a coffee date, really.”

His tongue brushed over his lower lip and he looked back up at you before responding. 

“What about dinner and… well, it’s not a movie, but I happen to have an extra ticket to a poetry reading on Thursday if you’d like to join me and…”

“I’d love to.” You smiled at him, feeling absolutely giddy at the prospect of a romantic date later in the week.“We can figure it out while we wait at the airport.”

His whole face lit up, and he followed you out of the restaurant. A couple of hours later, your head would come to rest on his shoulder while you napped on the flight home, and Spencer would feel very pleased indeed that he’d switched straws with Morgan to get this extra time with you

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Life's a Sick Joke pt 4

Pairing: Mick Mars x Reader

Want to start from the beginning? Here is  Part 1!

Sidenote: As this story is under construction, I would like to warn you that those chapters which don’t have a proper title are written in the main caharcter’s POV!! Be aware!!! Be awaaare! I hope you will enjoy this storyas I did writing it, have a nice day and feel free to leave marks!

4. “Truth or dare?”

Summary: the photoshoot, a bar and some fluff

"So what do you think?" You asked Doc and the designers about your photo settings, showing them your sketchbook.

"Pretty good. Well done, kid." Doc smiled, patted your back, and left you with the others. "Your drawings are brilliant. Even if they are just drafts." Amanda said still amazed by your drawings.

"I don't think they are good. Let's call them acceptable and easily recognizable. They describe them more precise...." You didn't have the chance to finish your sentence due to the boys entered the studio.

"Well hello Everyone. Let's fucking do this shoot, alright?" Vince yelled and you could see that the make-up artists managed to fade the bruise. They were all dressed up into their concert outfits. Vince's upper body was slightly covered but they all had strings attached to their clothes. Mick was wearing a blue one and he and Vince were wearing a black bandana with a pentagram on it. It looked badass. You walked over to your bag and put the sketchbook into it when Mick approached you.

"Good morni.. goddamn. Did you slept at least an hour last night?" He asked you cupping your face with his hands.

"Why?" You pulled away and continued packing your bag, and set your camera.

"Cause you have as black bags under your eyes as black is my hair." He murmured following you everywhere you went like a puppy.

"I know. And I hoped no one will remember me." But thanks for your honesty." You snapped. He was about to go away when you stopped him. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be this asshole, I'm just really tired and stressed. Anyway, you all look pretty fearless. And your make up, too."

"I think it's a bit much...but thank you."

"ATTENTION, everyone! Please listen to me! Okay, so we are starting the shooting now!" Doc declared. Your heart was pounding heavily and your stomach did a backflip. You rubbed your sweaty hands into your pants and walked over to the rest of the boys along with Mick.

"Hello, Mrs. Sixx." Nikki smirked but you just rolled my eyes.

"Hello, Nikki." You murmured, flipping through the pages in your notebook.

"Hi, daughter of Alice Cooper." Tommy snickered and started drumming on your head with his sticks.

"I told you I'm not... nevermind. Hello to all of you. So let me tell my ideas and all the settings I made up last night. And I beg you don't irritate me because I'm not in a good mood."

"When you are not moody?" Vince spoke up. You just glanced at him but didn't tell a thing. You explained to them where to stand and the crew set the lights. Now it was your and the boys' turn. Firstly, you did the photos you wanted to take and then let them do whatever they wanted.

"Oh okay, then." You laughed your butt off picturing them. They were all acted goofy and there is one thing. You have never thought that Mick was capable of doing these faces. He looked like the Dark Lord himself. Someone also put the new album on in the background to set the mood and 'Shout at the Devil' was on. "Okay, guys. What about a photo when you shout at the Devil? In this case, I will be the Devil."

"That will be easy to imagine," Vince screamed through the music. Mick just gave him a look, and if that looks could kill. Vince would be a dead, dead dead man.

"Okay, so three, two, and one!" You clicked the last photo and sighed. "Thank you boys, I think we are ready!" Everyone was clapping so you covered your face with my camera in shyness. Mick had a proud smile on and Vince just mumbled something under his nose. Tommy jumped in front of you and lift you up in the air and spun you around. You were giggling and hugged him.

"You were perfect, babe."

"Thank you, Tommy. I appreciate it, really." You ran your finger through your hair smiling, though still shaking from the adrenaline.

"I hope you are proud of yourself." Mick stood beside you and you can't help but smile at him.

"Nah, it was not a big deal." Mick chuckled and looked at you with disbelief in his eyes. "Okay. It was a fucking BIG deal."

"How will we celebrate that?" Nikki asked with big eyes, ready to party.

"There is a strip club nearby." Tommy offered. Your eyes got big and to be honest you didn't really felt the urge to watch naked women. Mick saw the concern in your eyes.

"Really, drummer?" He asked crossing his arms and gesturing towards you. You didn't want to look like a pussy. You won't have any problems with doing it once.

"Let's go." You agreed with Lee and all the three of them looked shocked by the answer. "What? Aren't girls allowed to go to a place like that?" You put your hands on your hips and put your camera to its place.

"I was kidding but if you are willing to, then come on." Tommy laughed and headed to the changing room. Nikki also followed him snickering.

"Are you sure?" Mick asked when you were alone again.

"Yap." You said not looking at him. Luckily, he didn't know you so long to notice whether you are lying or not.

"Then see you in 10 minutes. I have to get rid of this makeup." He stepped closer and placed his hands on your waist and leaned close to your ear. "You were amazing." He whispered to you. He must've seen your reaction cause he placed a little tender kiss on your crimson red cheeks. Your eyes got bigger and your mouth dropped. Before you could say something he left you there and headed towards the changing rooms.

                ∆

"Are you completely sure you wanna go inside?" All the boys had already gone in, even Vince came with you. You were standing in front of the club and were about to enter the building. You were a bit worried but you comforted yourself with that 'I won't see anything I haven't seen before.'

"Yeah. Let's go." You nodded and Mick placed his arm on your shoulder and pulled closer to him. The air was heavy and damp from the alcohol and cigarettes. The music was pretty good and you liked the decoration and all. Chics were dancing to the music and after scaring a man the boys found an empty table. You sat beside Mick and in front of Vince. He looked at you concerned for a minute and then put his resting bitch face on. A girl approached your table and put some drinks on it. You tried to look away but you noticed from the corner of your eyes that all of them were watching at her. Even Mick, but who could blame him? He is a man after all. Everyone grabbed a drink and leaned back in the chairs.

"To our new photographer chic!" Tommy held his drink in the air and then drank all of it.

"To the tour!" Nikki, Mick, and you said at the same time before consuming the drinks.

"To me!" Vince finished and got up from the table. "If you excuse me, I will find a better company. Someone who respects me."

"He will do this the whole time?" You asked glancing at Vince, who went to some chicks.

"Don't worry. He needs some time to process that he was rejected by a hot girl." Tommy said.

"Hey guys, what about if we play something?" Nikki came up with the idea to change the mood, which scared you a bit.

                                 ∆

"Truth or dare?" Nikki was asking you since the bottle's end pointed at you.

"Truth." You sighed fearing the question he would ask.

"Ahh, that's boring." He pouted and drinking a shot.

"You asked." You crossed your arms staring at him.

"Alrighty, so are you a....virgin?" He leaned closer and narrowed his eyes smirking. After a big pause, you answered.

"Nope, I'm a Capricorn." You said in a serious tone. First, they seemed thinking and you were worried if it was funny at all. Seconds later they burst into laughter.

"No, I mean it!" Nikki was gazing you with a devilish grin and still laughing.

"Still a no." You told him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. How the fuck it even crossed his mind, that at the age of 27 you were still a virgin?!

"I hoped so." He took a sip from his drink his eyes never leaving yours.

"T-Bone, your turn!" You yelled after spinning the bottle.

"Elizabeth, I dare you tooo.." He started.

"Hey, that's not how it works! No cheating!" You were totally messed up. You felt that you drank too much, though you hadn't been this relaxed for a very long time.

"...to kiss Nikki!" He finished his sentence after thinking for a minute.

"What?" Nikki and you gasped, staring at the drummer. He was quite proud of himself thinking of this order. You raised one of your eyebrows and glanced at Nikki then Mick.

"You heard me!" Tommy chuckled before drinking. Looking at Mick was useless since you couldn't see his eyes from that stupid aviators. The only advantage of that this makes him sexier. Wait, what did you just say?

"So, Mrs. Sixx you don't want a kiss?" Nikki came closer.

"You know what happens if someone tries to kiss me ignoring my will, right?" You also leaned closer and whispered in his ears making him frightened. He immediately pulled away.

"Alright. I will stay back. I am afraid of you, now."

                                  ∆

"Sniff it!" Nikki put some lines on your table and since you stupidly chose dare...

"I won't." You felt Mick relax beside you.

"I hoped so. Good girl. I told you she is not like you, idiots." Mick put his hand on your thighs which made you relaxed and tensed at the same time. You drank too much, you felt quite dizzy both from the alcohol and the loud music.

"I'm not gonna do that because I'm a good girl and I don't want to." You murmured.

"Then why?" Nikki asked before sniffing a line instead of you.

"Because I'm fucking allergic to it! So please..." You couldn't finish your sentence cause they started laughing so hard everyone was looking at you. "I'm serious. And it's not funny." You huffed and crossed your arms.

"Is it an existing thing at all?" Nikki asked trying to catch his breath. Mick just only chuckled but didn't laugh at you. He was gazing at you. The alcohol and the place had an effect on him, too.

"So how do you know?" Mick asked Tommy and Nikki stopped laughing to pay full attention. Drama seekers. You hummed but started to tell this beautiful story of yours.

"Well, in the first year of uni there was a party...and we were also playing truth or dare..and well I had to do it such as Nikki told me to. And I did it and they told me that I lost consciousness and my nose was bleeding. I woke up in the hospital the next morning and the doctor told me that I almost died." When you finished your story they were all staring at you in shock.

"I'm glad you didn't!" Tommy smiled and cleaned the table with his arm. Nikki just yelled at him for ruining his drugs.

"Fun fact: after I felt better and left the hospital I had to go to jail for 3 days." You said proudly which surprised you a bit. You never really told it to anyone since you weren't proud of it for obvious reasons.

"No way, man. You sit in jail? So (Y/N), when we will have our wedding?" He was smirking at you, playing with one of the cups.

"Not now. We have to go on the tour, remember?"

After playing several turns, going through many embarrassing situations, and Mick drinking more than one and a half bottles of vodka, he joined.

"I dare you to give us a dance!" Tommy grinned gesturing towards a pole beside your table.

"Wtf dude." You yelled at him. Only a few girls were on stage, Vince must've been with the rest.

"Come on (Y/N), you already rejected several times and now it's not a question," Nikki added not really helping your situation. You looked at Mick who simply patted your thighs and smirked. "Give us a dance, (Y/N)."

"You, too? Oh, Mick noo." He gave you a look which scared the shit out of you so you agreed.

"Fine." They all had a devilish grin on their faces and Tommy yelled.

"Hey DJ or whoever is doing the music put on the...you can pick the music, Cooper."

"Take me to the Top. AND I'm not gonna strip down!" You declared loudly, making them understand.

"Pity but okay." You went to one of the poles and after a few tries, you managed to climb beside it. When the music started you grabbed the pole but hesitated at first. The awful quantity of drinks and the music helped you get through this. When Mick's solo was on you squatted down and stand back really slowly. They also came closer and you heard Vince whistle.

"You give them a fucking dance and you can't even kiss me back? "You just showed your middle finger and heard the boys yelling and clapping. Sometimes you went closer to Mick, Nikki, and Tommy and gave them a look or teased them. You continued dancing and didn't even realize the song ended. You bent over dramatically and thanked them. Tommy hugged your waist and helped you got off the stage.

"What about if we skip the wedding and start with the honeymoon, Mrs?" Nikki murmured in your ears. Mick was completely out of his mind. He wanted to kick Nikki in the balls so badly, but he didn't do it.

"You would like it, huh?" You gave him a smirk and glancing at Tommy.

"That was fantastic! I might be a little jealous of Mick." Tommy smirked and bowed his head in the direction of the guitarists.

"What, why?" Nikki inquired with a ton of questions in his eyes.

"Cause they are together, you idiot." Tommy helped his brother out and pulling Nikki in a sideways hug, looking at Mick and then at you. You gulped and looked at Mick. He was just casually standing there, not reacting a thing. His eyes wandered at you from head-to-toe and vice versa. He put his hands in his pockets and left you.

"Nice job, Tommy." You huffed and sat back to your table.

"Why?" He asked not understanding your reaction.

"Why do you think we are even together?"

"I have eyes, Cooper. I'm a hopeless romantic so I can see the way he looks at you and your reaction whenever he is nearby. And well, this little dance of yours...was not helpful to hide his...you know what I'm talking about." He said before lighting a cigarette and closing his eyes.

"You are a genius, T-Bone. Aren't you a philosopher or something?" Nikki asked with wide eyes.

"Are you sure, Tommy?" You asked him cause you weren't really sure in your own feelings, not even Mick's.

"Totally."

                ∆

"Hello, there." Mick was sitting on his motorbike, smoking a cigarette. You touched his shoulder but he moved away.

"Please don't touch me."

"Why?" You were thinking of what Tommy had said and you weren't expecting this reaction from him.

"Cause I can't be near you...without touching you. And you touch me doesn't really help." He looked into your eyes and you were sure he saw your soul. You couldn't really find the words. You walked over to him and stopped inches away from his face. "What are you doing?" Mick asked. You thought if you act like him, maybe you would understand him. You put your hand into one of the pockets of his jacket. You just simply took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it and you moved away from him. "Please, don't go away."

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. By the way, I can't really understand you. Once you say you can't be near me and then you say not to go away." You sat on one of the boys' bikes while you blew out a cloud of smoke. You couldn't recall when was the last time you smoked but it sure was a long time ago. "So? Are we gonna just stare at each other while we got lung cancer?"

"What are you expecting me to say?"

"To be honest, anything. I don't know a thing about you, apart from that you love to play the guitar and drink vodka. Tell me YOUR story, this time."

"Well, my name is Mick Mars and I am the guitarist in the band Mötley Crüe..." He started if he were in an interview. You rolled your eyes, not believing he acted like this.

"You gotta be kidding me. I can't believe you." You chuckled and rub your hand on my arm. After being in the hot club it was freezing outside, particularly in a tank top.

"Here, take my jacket." Mick was so messed up, not understanding his own decisions and the things he said. He felt guilty for treating you like this, but he had to be away from you. He made his mind last night that he didn't want to attach to you emotionally, cause he didn't want to ruin your life.

"Even Nikki has better lines." You huffed, hugging yourself tighter.

"Oh come on, I mean it. Don't be primitive! I don't want you to be ill on the tour already in the begging." He took off his jacket, stepped beside you, and helped you take on the coat. It felt warm, although it was a bit lose on you. You glanced at him and smiled.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank. Can I sit..?" You bowed your head and patted the motorbike. He sat down really slowly, making noises.

"You know, you make weird noises while sitting down." You stated.

"I'm old. Don't be like me." He lied to you, not being ready to tell you his story. 

"If you say so." You couldn't believe he has pain due to his age. Cause he has pain. You sat closer to him and placed your head on his shoulder. You felt him tense a bit, but after a while, he took your hands into his.

"Dear Satan, your hands are like ice." He put it closer to his mouth and blew it with his warm breath, never leaving your eyes. It tickled a bit, but your heart melted off his softness. He placed a kiss on the top of your hand and then released it. You were disappointed, you didn't want him to finish it. You didn't want him to stop touching you. Now you understood him. You intertwined your fingers with his. They were as cold as yours.

"You are freezing, too!! And don't tell me you are not. I can feel it." You did the same with his hands what he did to yours. "What about going back? It's much warmer inside." You asked looking at the entrance.

"I don't want to. I want this moment to last forever. It's too good." He sighed, thinking it would be the most relaxing time for a long time. 

Next chapter

Tags: @cmft-jr-winchester​  @leatherandheels​

Here are some photos of the boys from the Shout at the Devil era. I own none of them of course.

[andaleduardo]

Loopy Emotions - 2

Eddie is anticipating his wisdom teeth removal surgery. He’s only nervous for one thing, the after effects of the anesthesia. What could go wrong?

Parts : 1 / 2 / 3

The day before the surgery came around and Eddie ended up doing the exact opposite. He didn’t know why, but it felt right at the moment.

“Hey, Ma?”

They were having dinner at the kitchen table. His mother finished her last bite of food and looked at his son.

“What is it, dear?”

“I know I’m supposed to rest a lot tomorrow after the dentist, but is it okay if my friends come see me?” He looked up at her with his best innocent expression.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Eddie…” She hesitated.

“You’re right, Ma, I know, but they just want to check in on me for an hour maybe?”

Sonia looked at him solemnly, considering the situation.

Eddie added “You can totally kick them out if they don’t behave.”

His mother sighed. “Oh, Eddie, but don’t you want your peace and quiet after such a big process? You’ll be so tired and in pain, bleeding… What if they hurt you? They’re so many, dear.”

Eddie did his best to look disappointed and nodded back at his mother, then he lowered his head back to his plate of food and resumed eating, quietly.

“Don’t look so sad, Eddie bear, it breaks me. I’m going to think about it tomorrow, it depends of how you feel afterwards, is that okay?”

Eddie nodded enthusiastically and quickly finished eating. After that he got up from his seat and leaned in to kiss his mother’s cheek, grabbing the empty plates to bring them over to the sink and start cleaning them.

As his mother finished taking every dish to the sink and leave the kitchen, his thoughts lead to his reasons. Reasons why he did what he did.

Even if he would never admit it, deep down Eddie knew that this may be the only way that some things would be said.

But he tried not to think too much about it. If things went wrong, he would blame it on the medicine.

When he finished the dishes a while later, he stopped by the living room entrance.

“Hey, mom?”

She tore her eyes from the television and struggled to find his face in the dark room. “Yes, Eddie?”

“Don’t mention to my friends that I asked for them to come, please?”

She nodded. “Okay, honey, I won’t. Goodnight.”

“Thanks, Ma. Goodnight.”

Eddie was almost sure he was conscious. His senses were working, maybe not at their best, but he could see and hear and smell and taste the blood and soaked cotton inside his mouth. He couldn’t really feel it, however. And he was still trying to figure out if the rest of his body was awake.

The last thing he remembers was an uncomfortable dentist chair and being watched by two green masked man, one of them kept asking him questions like:

“What is your name?”

To which Eddie would answer quickly. “Edward Kaspbrak.” His voice showed naked anxiety and suddenly he wondered if it was possible to have an asthma attack while being operated. How could he forget to ask that to his friends?

“Can you raise your hand for me, Edward?”

Eddie internally cringed at the name but he did as asked and raised his right arm from the plastic covered chair and let if fall back down. He didn’t understand the purpose of it, or why he was asked to do it every 10 seconds.

There was a mask around his mouth and nose and he inhaled whatever was being administrated, his left arm also held a needle.

Minutes passed, he had raised his hand at least 4 times already. His anxiety grew, his eyes darted between the ceiling and he counted the patterns there like his life depended on it.

 ‘Don’t think about it. Just don’t think about it.’

“Raise your hand.” The dentist instructed. Eddie raised it, quickly and easy.

 ‘Who invented patterned ceilings? Why are there so many blotches on it? Is it paint drops?’

“Can you raise your hand again, Eddie?”

Well that name was certainly better, sure thing, doc. But when Eddie tried to raise his arm, it was suddenly heavy. Not just heavy, hundreds and hundreds of pounds heavy.

It was so hard to raise it that it took him full 5 seconds to spread his hand in the air. Then, when he tried to lower it down, it just fell limp with a muffled sound on the cushion underneath his body.

Eddie went unconscious.

He still didn’t know if he was dreaming or awake. He could swear he was seeing his mother’s figure sitting on a chair by his left, and… were those his feet?

Probably, but they didn’t feel attached to his body.

He felt like talking, just saying something, but he was immensely tired. Eddie wanted to sleep. This chair was the most comfortable place he had ever laid down on.

His eyes were lidded and hurting from the bright room, but he fought it back and started looking around. His head crooked sideways to rest at his shoulder. He wanted to move, when was the last time he had moved? He decided to move his legs and bounce them on the chair once. The noise made the woman he thought to be his mom spread up from her seat and get closer to him.

“Hey, baby… How are you feeling?”

Eddie tried to say ‘The best.’ But it came out as a weird muffled sound. He frowned.

Another woman entered the room and started chatting with Sonia about the conditions of the recovery and pain killers. The conversation went unnoticed by Eddie, who just learned that he could lift his hands and move his fingers in front of his face.

‘Look at them moving...’ He thought as he wiggled his fingers again, mesmerized.

Then he brought them closer and closer, and started feeling at his head. There was something wrapped around him, hugging his chin all the way up to the hairline.

“Shtan had these tooo!” He talked more to himself than to anyone in the room. “Nwice…”.

The ride home was hell for Sonia, Eddie was more awake now but he was still leaning all his weight on her and refused to make his feet work properly. There were three attempts of making Eddie sit still on the passenger seat without trying to open the door as soon as she closed it. He settled down but opened the window all the way when his mother started the car.

The weird thing is that Eddie wasn’t really talking much. He just seemed hyperactive and could not stop touching things, the buttons, the mirror above him, Sonia’s shoulder, his clothes. He was clapping his hands lazily and snapping his fingers in a weird rhythm. But that was good enough if it meant he wouldn’t touch his mouth or mess with the bandages.

There was an ice pack laying on his lap that he was suppose to hold against his cheeks. “Eddie, baby, you have to hold the ice on your face, okay?” Eddie looked at her for a good 10 seconds, his eyelids low.

“You canth tell me whadtodo.” Then he leaned his head out of the window and screamed to a group of three boys passing on the street. “Heeeey, hot stuff!”

Suddenly there was a hand grasping on his shirt and pulling him back away from the window. His mother was fuming with embarrassment.

“Lord, help me.” She sighed soundly.

Tag list: @richietoaster @salty-kaspbrak @youtubequeens @reddieseggrolls @addimagination @20gayteeneds

Notes:

Okay so I have been writing the third part and it's probably going to take two days to post because I won't be able to write today and I'm still figuring out the things I'll make Eddie do. I hope I won't disappoint? But yeah, please tell me your opinions, they make my day better :) I'm forever grateful for anyone reading this ! (The last chapter will be bigger)

[frecklebeans]

The way to Get These Laborious to Discover Toys

Do you ever have a tough time struggling to find these laborious to search out toys on toy story cabinets?

Typically our children ship us on toy scavenger hunts, particularly in the course of the vacation season. You may be in search of that 1 merchandise your baby has requested, and each retailer you go to the cabinets are cleaned?

Have you ever gone to the toy retailer to purchase that toy you promised as a reward, pondering you'll run out and in like you might be shopping for milk?

You then cease useless in your tracks if you discover the shelf and it's utterly empty with an indication stating, "Just one Doc McStuffins toy or Frozen toy per particular person." Significantly? Now you have got a baby in tears, too. Click Here to find cool cheap collectible toys.

Like me, you might be pissed off and irritated as a result of at the moment, why would there be a scarcity? So that you do what any good guardian would do, use your widespread sense and plan your mission.

You google map the instructions for the three closest retail shops. On the subsequent location, you would possibly discover that apparently, this retail retailer doesn't also have a location put aside for these toys you might be in search of.

Perhaps you neglected them, as a result of all you want are only a few little figures to show on a cake? So you finally discover a human that can assist you, probably in one other division and you don't discover something.

Whereas this typically predictably occurs in the course of the loopy vacation months and was fairly fashionable years in the past whereas folks waited in traces for Cabbage Patch Dolls and Zhu Zhu Pets, it has actually occurred to me a number of instances in search of Shopkins and Paw Patrol toys.

Alongside the way in which in my toy retailer procuring adventures, I've realized a couple of useful hints I needed to share, in case that is your unlucky actuality.

Listed below are 10+ methods to get these laborious to search out toys.

Plan forward, Get on the Web and Use a Search Engine like Google After you google the title of the toy or the model, click on on the procuring tab for an inventory of distributors promoting numerous objects.

This can assist slender your online search to particular shops or offer you worth listings so it might be simpler to simply purchase them straight away.

Search net content material and YouTube movies to find out about availability. Media representatives and bloggers get previews of things a number of months earlier than they obtainable on retailer cabinets, so you don't head to the shop in search of one thing that won't be on the cabinets for one more few months.

You may additionally be taught that some licenses like for instance, Useful Manny, whereas he and people instruments are actually nonetheless very a lot alive and nicely on Netflix and the Disney Junior app, they have not designed any new toys for Useful Manny in a number of years.

Test Retailer Availability On-Line First Whereas the impulsive journey to the toy aisles could also be profitable, there are some toys and types which are unique to sure retailers. For instance, Paw Patrol toys launched for the primary month solely at Toys "R" Us, earlier than they hit extra retailers a month later. Some toy firms manufacture sure toys, equipment, and characters for particular retailers. So whilst you might be able to purchase Lincoln Logs development toys at virtually any retailer, there could also be completely different choices at Goal than you could discover at Walmart, Toys "R" Us and even Amazon.com.

Most websites can provide you an indicator whether or not the merchandise is accessible in a selected retailer, or if it may be shipped to the shop so that you can choose up. If you could find sufficient availability on-line it might be finest to buy what you see and have it shipped to you or the shop. Paying the delivery payment if it is minimal, although it isn't ideally suited, will prevent time, cash and frustration driving from retailer to retailer.

Ask the In-Retailer Buyer Service Division to Search Stock Spend a couple of minutes on the customer support departments at locations like Toys "R" Us, Goal and Walmart, the place they have been capable of offer you an thought of the stock of varied toys at different neighboring areas earlier than you drive there. They could let you know after they can count on shipments of recent toys of their retailer. Typically they even hold most needed toys close to the entrance of the shop at Buyer Service if folks have put toys on maintaining and never are available to select them up.

Name Forward By calling forward to completely different areas en-route, customer support representatives are capable of let you know about their present stock and after they usually obtain shipments of merchandise so you possibly can name again and get extra data the subsequent day or later that week.

Amazon.com Whereas Amazon.comhas its personal achievement division, many individuals, and companies buy these laborious to search out objects in shops, then promote them by means of their very own private enterprise Amazon retailer accounts. Whilst you might be able to discover the merchandise you need, it is going to be listed as a set worth plus delivery, however, whether it is fashionable, don't count on it to be low-cost or near conventional retail worth.

Ebay.com, On-line Public sale Website If the toy is absolutely fashionable, it might be obtainable on an internet site like Ebay.com for public sale. This implies a purchaser arranges a minimal worth and customers bid on the merchandise. You may as well discover objects on e-bay and purchase them outright for a particular worth, although once more, like Amazon.com, it might or will not be an affordable worth.

Ebay is actually an amazing place to search for these older toys and licenses that may be your kid's favorite in the intervening time, the place there are no new toys in deliberate manufacturing.

Etsy.com Typically you could find classic toys on the market at Etsy. Whilst you might not be capable to discover the precise retail toy, individuals are so artistic and imaginative that it's attainable to search out distinctive and particular objects that include their favorite characters like stuffed animals, hair clips, t-shirts, and celebration decorations in a private Etsy retailer.

Craigslist.com Craigslist is an inventory of native folks with objects on the market in a particular demographic space. Individuals checklist footage and descriptions of recent or used objects on the market, then consumers and sellers agree upon a worth and meet in particular person to commerce the merchandise. Whereas this may be efficient there are many scams on Craiglist, so don't give out a whole lot of private data, pay attention to the place you meet folks and purchase and promote used toys neatly and safely. Be skeptical in the event you obtain emails with a whole lot of mis-spellings and imprecise data.

Scams on Craigslist will typically embrace folks providing more cash than the merchandise is value.

Online Yard Sale Teams on Fb With the recognition of personal teams on Fb, be a part of neighborhood teams and yard sale teams in your native space. Individuals will put up objects on the market and consumers will buy then by leaving a remark or a direct message to the poster. They then meet the vendor regionally for pick-up. You continue to run the chance of the client or vendor being a no-show, but when may be useful. I've additionally observed in a number of Fb teams there have been total threads the place individuals are sharing experiences and footage, letting different consumers know that the native retail retailer acquired a brand new cargo of toys that morning.

[simpmaru-nara]

Re: Thor Ragnarok

Okay so I’ve got a lot to say about this movie so I recommend you settle in for the long haul. Also there’s gonna be spoilers obv since I’ll have to reference the movie to make some of my points. I’ll try to stay away from any big ones, but go into this knowing that it will spoil some points.

To get started I’d like to say that if you are going to see the movie for pure entertainment value then the movie’s pretty alright; gorgeous graphics, some good jokes, fun costumes, etc. But even in that aspect much of the action was lackluster simply because it was often diminished to make room for dialogue or to cut to uninteresting parts of a fight. For instance in the final big fight there are three different points of interest and we spend too much time seeing the least fun parts of all those fights. And the gladiator scenes, which were extremely played up in the trailers, only last for about ten minutes and end by leaving the viewers both confused and disappointed.

In fact “confused and disappointed” was the mood for the entire movie

Despite excessive exposition the story somehow manages to be extremely vague with lots of unanswered questions. The first ten minutes of the movie is just Thor explaining how he ended up in the position we find him in and explaining the plot-important villain he faces. It tells instead of shows and is interrupted several times to make way for uncharacteristic jokes. It’s boring as hell and still doesn’t answer most questions one could have about what’s been happening to Thor since last we saw him. Then it transitions in probably the most disappointing way possible to answer a question that people have been burning with since the cliffhanger in the last Thor movie; what happened to Asgard and Loki? Thor arrives in Asgard to find Loki; who apparently has been met with zero suspicion in the face of extremely odd behavior and the creation of a god damn gold statue. Despite being questioned at every turn by the Warriors Three and Sif (who was suspiciously absent in this movie but I’ll get to that later) in the first movie, apparently in this movie everyone is content to praise the saint Loki who died for their sins. The entire situation is treated with a lot of nonchalance even after Loki is unmasked. Even more casual is the mention of the time that has passed with Loki in charge and absolutely nothing is said about what he’s done as king. Several movies building up Loki’s desire to rule, believing himself more worthy than his hot-headed brother, only for it to end up being something he does nothing note-worthy with. We were led to expect more. Oh and also apparently Thor and Jane broke up? Why? Oh right because we needed room for his new love interest. Of course this type of empty story telling carries on throughout the entire movie. It’s never truly explained how the last Valkyrie survived or how Bruce ended up in space.

Actually I’d like to talk about that last one a little more. The writers behind this movie used huge cop-outs in a few key points. One of the biggest was Hulk explaining what happened to him after the events of Age of Ultron. They used the dumb child-like personality they built for him as a way of dodging responsibility for explaining how the hell Hulk even ended up where he was. The quinjet, as far as we know, is not a space-faring vessel. It’s a god damn plane and yet we’re meant to believe that somehow the Hulk managed to fly that thing into space and make it far away from Earth and crash land on Sakaar before anywhere else. It’s ridiculous yet it’s the only explanation we’re offered from an illiterate Hulk. More than that we aren’t given any reason for why Thor is in the Hulk’s quarters. It’s made fairly clear that Hulk’s feelings towards Thor are mixed and the Grand Master wanted Thor dead in order to keep his Champion but for some reason both keep Thor alive and even choose to let him stay with Hulk? And no one questions it; not even Thor.

Thor, and the entire cast for that matter, is wildly out of character the entirety of the movie. Everyone is ripped to shreds in favor of humor. It’s like the writers went, “Hmmm, how do we make Bruce Banner funny? Oh!! I know! Just make him really weird for no apparent reason and also give him mood swings because we’re just going to forget that he had complete control prior to this movie and instead he’s going to be neurotic.” And they did that to everyone. Thor had a sense of humor in the earlier movies; typically more subtle and friendly, but here he’s openly sarcastic bordering on cynical. His jokes come across more Stark-ish (if Tony suddenly genuinely stopped caring) than they do Thor’s brand of humor. And Loki. God Loki... he’s reduced to a running joke about betrayal and being untrustworthy. “Silver tongued” Loki appears to have lost any amount of wit or actual mischief and is instead predictable and weirdly subdued. And all of this humor is ill-timed.

The writers absolutely refuse to give a single moment in the movie any depth. Any time that the plot manages to touch on something meaningful there’s humor thrown in as a buffer that only succeeds in forcefully detaching you from the plights of the characters. Thor’s in a cage and being threatened by the literal catalyst of Ragnarok? Better toss in a couple of jokes so it doesn’t seem too intense. Thor and Loki actually have a chance to talk about their problems and/or work as a team to establish a dynamic? Better make a joke about how easily Loki will throw Thor under the bus. Odin just died and Mjolnir was destroyed? Quick lets move onto the next thing before things get too heavy. The movie completely fails in making you care about anyone in the main cast. In fact, the person I was most invested in for the entire movie was Heimdal. The man has a total of maybe 10 minutes of screen time, but damn if he wasn’t the most interesting thing going on in the story. That’s at least half way because they didn’t try to force any awkward humor with him and they didn’t kill him. Which they killed a lot of characters in this movie and never give it the proper time or even weight to be grieved over.

Among the characters who were killed were the Warriors Three. A fact which is never acknowledged even as it happens. We at least get told (through Exposition Golem Alien because the audience can’t be trusted to deduce anything obviously) that Mjolnir being destroyed is a heavy weight on Thor and we see briefly the level of grief Thor feels for the loss of Odin, but the Warriors Three were Thor’s best friends. He grew up around them, adventured with them, they play a significant part in the first Thor movie, yet even before they die they’re widely forgotten about both by the plot and by Thor. Interestingly enough, however, is that Sif does not appear in this movie.

Sif remains completely AWOL for the entire movie, and honestly I’m pretty sure the reason is because the writers were reluctant to kill her off since she’s the Hot Warrior Babe. Because obviously they showed no hesitation in getting rid of the warriors as a casualty of the opposition to Hela and if Sif had been present she would have been right beside them and equally dead. Couldn’t do that so instead she’s just mysteriously not there. And I make this accusation with more than just Sif in mind. The movie also doesn’t want you to think that Hela isn’t attractive. In every scene we see her in she starts with her hair down in a sexy cat suit until she’s ready to fight at which point her wild black hair turns into her war helmet. There’s no real reason for the transition other than the fact that if she was always sporting the war helmet then she would come across as less attractive.

Besides the casual “must remain sexy” attitude towards Hela there was also a huge lack of continuity in the story, which kind of ties in with the lack questions answered, but still stands as it’s own problem. In the first Thor movie Odin takes Thor’s powers and casts an enchantment on Mjolnir. “Whosoever holds this hammer, should he be worth, shall possess the power of Thor.” Obviously Thor is the one to eventually pick up the hammer again and regain his power, but the importance of Mjolnir relative to Thor’s abilities is not diminished at that point. Yet magically in this movie Thor doesn’t need Mjolnir he just has these powers naturally. Even though, you know, Asgardians have never been shown to just naturally have elemental abilities and it was established that Thor doesn’t have much magic prowess the way Loki does. But that’s okay we’ll just ignore that because it’s really cool to see Thor turn into an anime character with glowing white eyes and electric fists (an ability he didn’t have even when he possessed Mjolnir). Also there’s the fact that Asgard’s history is vaguely outlined in the first movie as well and it’s made very clear that Odin is not the one who carved a spot for the golden city. He’s not the first king; his father was king before him. So no, Hela, you didn’t help Odin drown the realms in blood especially not while he was busy trying to end a war with Jotunheim as was explained as what he was doing around the time Thor was born and Loki was adopted. And it’s not just this either; there were plenty of other errors there, even with Doctor Strange.

And the scene with the Doc was odd in it’s own right. Last we saw of Doctor Strange he was giving up the infinity stone and taking over the New York sanctum as a talented, but still young sorcerer. When we see him in this movie he throws around magic like candy; appearing to be extremely proficient and wearing a familiar comic-book-esque outfit. Which raises the question, where is he relative to the power he (if we’re to go off the comics) is meant to possess? Is he the supreme now? What has he been doing since the end of his movie? The timeline is wonky at best and leaves you grasping blindly to try and put it together. It’s only made worse by the first after-credits scene which seems to be leaning into Infinity Wars territory.

Honestly I could talk about everything this movie could have done better for hours. I could pick apart the entire movie start to finish for all the things that were just wrong. But this is already an essay sized post so I’m gonna wrap it up. I care about this franchise. I care about the MCU. And that’s why it makes me so upset, as a fellow writer, to see how god damn lazy every part of Thor: Ragnarok was. The writer’s consistently and shamelessly cop-out of any meaningful story telling. “Show not tell” is a concept burned, drowned, and buried. They tear apart these beloved characters so thoroughly that they are nearly unrecognizable all in the pursuit of getting some good one-liners out there. I don’t have the words to describe my disappointment because Thor isn’t the first recent Marvel movie to do this. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 made some similar mistakes and now I’m feeling like the MCU no longer cares about building a coherent story line with dimensional characters. Instead they just care about making a movie as quotable as possible so that they sell some merch. And that’s a shame; I don’t want to see the MCU die because of a cash grab that sacrifices legitimate investment in the franchise.

[crispychrissy]

Shrink - Chapter 10

Summary: When patients of a psychiatrist that caters exclusively to hunters start going crazy and dying, Sam and Dean Winchester investigate what might be causing these bizarre episodes. Pairing: None yet Word Count: 2014 Warnings: None A/N: My first fanfic! This is going to be a series, probably over 30 chapters total. Any feedback is appreciated, I am a newbie!

Right as the second chorus began in Led Zeppelin’s "Ramble On", Dean turned right onto the side street behind Dr. Barnes' office building. Finding an empty parking spot right across from the entrance to the office, Dean pulled in. He switched the gear shifter up to park and clicked the keys back, shutting off the engine but leaving the radio on. Sam sat back in his seat and smiled, looking over at Dean who had his eyes closed and was tapping his left foot and nodding to the beat. "Ramble On" is one of Dean's favorite songs of all time, he wouldn't dare interrupt it by leaving the car. A few minutes later, the song ended and Dean opened his eyes. He looked over at Sam. "You ready?" "Yeah, let's see what this is all about." Sam said as he opened the passenger's side door and stepped out. He tucked his hair behind his ears before shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jacket. It wasn't as cold as it was yesterday but the wind had picked up, causing the fallen leaves scattered all over the parking lot to whip around. Sam waited at the back of the Impala for Dean, who met him a few seconds later, also with his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jacket. "Just for once, I want to investigate a case in Miami." Dean said hastily. "A sand monster that eats bikinis. A haunted beach. Something!" Sam laughed and started walking across the parking lot toward the frosted double doors of Dr. Barnes' office. "Nothing's stopped you from driving to a beach, Dean." Sam said, looking back at Dean. "You ever think it's because you don't know how to relax without working? The entire time we were waiting for a case over the last few weeks, you cleaned every gun we own, rearranged the library, and cleaned the kitchen. Twice." Sam raised his arms and shrugged before gesturing toward the door to Dr. Barnes' office. "Maybe you should talk to Dr. Barnes...she might be able to help you work through that maze of a brain you have."

"I'm fine, Sam. Nothing wrong with liking to work." Dean said, narrowing his eyes. "Alright, I was only making an observation." Sam said, innocently, raising his palms toward Dean. He turned around and walked up to the double doors to the office and opened the left side door. Holding the door open for Dean, Sam stepped inside and took several steps toward the reception desk. Dean closed the door behind him and looked around. The waiting room had two people in it, one woman and one man. The woman was in a sweater and jeans, and looked to be in her mid-thirties. The man, sitting a few seats to her left, was several decades older with gray hair. Wearing a worn out flannel shirt and faded jeans, he looked up toward Sam and Dean and nodded at them as they came in. Sam stepped toward the counter and looked down at Natalie behind the desk. Smiling, Sam waited for Natalie to look up at him. "Hi. I'm Sam Winchester. My brother, Dean, called earlier to set up a meet-" "Sit. She'll call you when she's ready." Natalie said sternly, cutting Sam off. "I...okay." Sam stammered, as the smile faded from his face. "Thanks." Sam turned around, raised his eyebrows at Dean, and exhaled rapidly. "Friendly staff," he whispered as he moved toward an empty chair to the left of the doors they just walked through. Sam sat down and looked around, shifting in his chair slightly as Dean sat down in the chair next to him. Sam looked at the metallic trim around the various pieces of furniture and nudged Dean with his right elbow. "Check it out." Sam whispered as he nodded his head toward the row of chairs across the room from them. "Silver trim on the chairs and on the counter of the reception desk. She's thorough, I'll give her that." "Hey, better have more protection than not enough." Dean said as he picked up a magazine from the table in front of him and flipped it open. "But there's a fine line between prepared and paranoid." Sam said as he turned around and noticed the salt line running along the length of the windowsill behind him. The older man in the waiting room looked over at Sam and Dean before sliding a few chairs closer to the brothers and leaning in. "Did you say you were Sam and Dean Winchester?" He whispered as he slid into the chair one away from Dean on his right. Dean shifted in his seat to his left toward Sam and looked at the man next to him. "Yeah, I'm Dean. That's Sam." Dean said, pointing at himself, then to his brother. "Oh…wow. It's an honor to meet you both. I'm Mike Capers. Hunter out of Ohio." Mike said as he extended his hand to Dean, who shook it, and then to Sam, who did the same. "You guys are kind of famous in the lifestyle. It's like meeting a celebrity." Sam chuckled nervously. "We're just regular hunters, nothing special." "Yep. We see it, we kill it, we save the princess. The hunter life." Dean added, smiling. Mike sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess so. Until you can't save the princess and are forced to watch her get torn apart by three vamps." Dean and Sam exchanged wide-eyed looks of shock and awkwardness. "Oh, wow. Sorry, Mike. That must have been awful. Is that why you're here?" Sam asked with a soft tone and sympathetic voice. "Yeah. I'm glad I found the doc. I was in a really bad place. Drinking myself across the Midwest, starting fights...it was just a horrible period in my life. I got in a fist fight with another hunter over a case and he gave me Dr. Barnes' card, told me to get some help." Mike sighed and sat back in his chair. "Took me a few weeks but I finally bit the bullet and came by. I'm glad I did." Mike slapped his thighs with his hands and sat up. "I'm happier now and I've even gotten back to hunting.” "That's great to hear that you're doing better." Sam said, smiling at Mike. Sam turned his head toward Dean and whispered. "Drinking and starting fights...hmm...sound like anyone you know?" Dean leaned to the left and quickly elbowed Sam in his right side, just below his rib cage. "Stop it, Sam." Dean hissed through a clenched jaw. Sam exhaled sharply and smiled, laughing softly. “So why are you two here?” Mike asked. “Sam here is having lady troubles. I’m here for moral support.” Dean smiled, nodded and sat back in his chair. “Right, Sam?” “Yeah…no.” Sam said. “We just want to see what the buzz is all about.” Dean and Sam exchanged looks. Neither one wanted to tell another hunter they were working a case involving something that was targeting hunters. Too many people getting involved in a case is always a bad thing; doesn’t matter if it’s cops or hunters. "Fair enough. You won't regret it, boys." Mike said, right as the door to Dr. Barnes' office swung open. A tall woman with very short blonde hair emerged, followed by Dr. Barnes. The blonde woman turned around and hugged Dr. Barnes before walking to the front of the office and removing her coat from a hanger before putting it on. Dr. Barnes looked around the waiting room and rested her gaze for a few moments on Sam and Dean. She tilted her head to the side before looking at Mike. "Hey, Mike. You mind if I take Brothers Grimm over here first?" Dr. Barnes said, motioning to Sam and Dean. Mike looked up and shook his head. "Not at all, doc." "Come on, boys." Dr. Barnes motioned for Dean and Sam to follow her as she walked back into her office. The brothers stood up and made their way across the waiting room, walking through the doorway into Dr. Barnes' office. "Have a seat." Dr. Barnes motioned at the two leather seats across from her chair and closed the door. She walked over and sat in her chair as Sam and Dean sat down in unison. After studying the brothers for a few moments, Dr. Barnes smiled. "Sam and Dean Winchester. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would be seeing you two." "What’s that supposed to mean?" Dean asked. Dr. Barnes laughed slightly and grabbed her notebook from the table on her right. "I've been doing this for several years now. Your names have come up quite a few times from all sorts of people. I guess it's nice to finally meet the men behind the legend." “Sorry…legend?” Sam asked, leaning up in his chair. “Well, I use the word ‘legend’ loosely. I’ve heard good and bad things, but most hunters I help do view you two as royalty. The others…well…I’m sure you’ve had your share of conflicts with other hunters.” Dr. Barnes said, flipping open her notebook. “We’ve even been killed by other hunters before.” Dean said, smiling, remembering back to when they were ambushed and killed by Roy and Walt. Dr. Barnes looked up. “Sorry? Killed?” “Oh yeah. Me and Sam have died and come back more times than we can count. Or even remember.” Dean said, flashing his famous ear-to-ear smile. "Right." Dr. Barnes said with a puzzled look. "Anyways, what brings you boys in? Your dangerous co-dependency? Love life issues? Brotherly relationship problems?" "Oh, no. No...Not...uhh..." Dean stammered and cleared his throat. "Nothing like that. We're working a case, and it lead us to you." "Oh. A case involving me?" Dr. Barnes said as she flipped her notebook closed and set it back on her side table. "Do you have a patient named Adrian Booth?" Sam asked. Dr. Barnes sighed. "I do, but as I’m sure you gentlemen know, I can't discuss his sessions with you. I still am a licensed psychiatrist and bound by doctor/patient confid-" "He's dead, Dr. Barnes." Sam said, interrupting her train of thought. “He’s…what?” Dr. Barnes said, the color draining from her face. “He attacked and killed someone before being gunned down himself by police.” Sam replied hesitantly in a soft tone. “Oh, Adrian. Poor man. He was just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.” Dr. Barnes shook her head. "I'm sorry, Dr. Barnes, but what about an Alicia Branch? Was she a patient, too?" Sam asked. Dr. Barnes looked up at Sam, tears beginning to well in her eyes. "Alicia, too?! Is she...?" "No. She's not dead, but she also had a violent outburst that caused a few people to lose their lives. She's in jail right now as far as we know." Sam said, plucking a tissue from the box on the table in front of him and passing it to her. Accepting the tissue, Dr. Barnes blotted her eyes and let out a heavy sigh, her breath shaky as she exhaled. "So, two of my patients had violent outbursts and killed people?" "That we know of. We wanted to get some information from you about what they were working on in the last few months, what issues and what cases." Dean said, shifting in his chair. "Adrian and Alicia didn't know each other. Alicia had been seeing me for about four months, Adrian only about one month." Dr. Barnes got up from her chair and walked to a metal filing cabinet next to her desk. She opened the second drawer and browsed for a moment, running her fingers across the tabs of several folders before closing the drawer. "That's odd." Sam and Dean perked up in their seats as Dr. Barnes opened up two more drawers and browsed through them. "What's wrong?" Sam asked. Dr. Barnes walked over to her desk and moved some papers around before spinning around and facing Sam and Dean. "Alicia and Adrian...their files are missing.”

[stephhannes]

dressed to anti-depress

in the last two years, i’ve spent a lot of time asking myself questions like “will getting a smoothie today cure my depression?” and “will cutting my hair cure my depression?” and the answer to both of those questions is no. but you know what will kinda cure depression? getting on anti-depressants. 

earlier this year, my mental health was…concerningly bad, and quickly getting worse. i’ve recently gotten pretty good at managing my depression on my own by setting strict boundaries for myself and sticking to them (no screens allowed in my bedroom, exercising every day, no drinking alone etc) but out of nowhere, my anxiety began spiraling out of control. (my doctor suggested it’s due to ‘perhaps, ptsd’). 

but basically, by the time february rolled around i was having a really tough time. i couldn’t enjoy being around anyone because all i could think about was the inevitability of their death. i’d get lunch with a friend and spend the entire time panicking because what if this was the last time i ever got to get lunch with them? i saw my cats and i immediately started sobbing because my first thought was “oh my god they’re going to die one day.” i had a tough time showering because i was convinced that i would slip in the shower and crack my skull and no one would ever know because i live alone. no matter what i was doing, i would find some way to imagine some sort of catastrophe occurring. i noticed that i was starting to develop compulsions- i would obsessively check my rear-view mirror when i was driving, i wouldn’t leave the house without pacing for awhile before i left. i was having a hard time completing tasks which then made my anxiety even worse. every upsetting thought i had felt enormous and scary and would send me spiraling. i couldn’t focus, my memory was getting really terrible. 

and it was exhausting. 

i’ve been putting off trying medication for years. when i was growing up, i remember this weird stigma about anti-depressants. the discourse surrounding them was always like “nah man, they make you a shell of a person. totally numb no emotions or personality anymore.” my parents just like…didn’t believe in mental health so i suffered endlessly in middle and high school because no one would take me to therapy or acknowledge that like hey, maybe my kid isn’t lazy, she’s just clinically depressed. when i was in college, i finally went to therapy for a little bit because it was free through the university. and that helped some, but i still wasn’t completely cured. 

when i moved to new york, surprise, i was still depressed. one of my friends was constantly in my ear saying “hey buddy, you might really benefit from anti-depressants” and i finally realized “actually, i think you have a point, it’s probably worth a try” but every time i’d bring it up with nathan he was super opposed to it and would always just suggest i do something like “get out of bed before 4pm,” or “eat better.” 

by the time we moved to philly i was hitting a breaking point. my anxiety was so bad that nathan hated being in the same room as me when i was freaking out because my vibes were just so wack. the problem was that i had no money, and no health insurance which really left me in a position where the only way i could get help was with nathan’s help- i brought it up kind of casually one day like “hey i really think i might benefit from therapy or medication” and he was like “actually, i think you’d benefit from getting a hobby” 

and then a couple of days later i had a total nervous breakdown and i begged him to help me. i’ll never forget sobbing and saying “i don’t know if i need medication or therapy or both but all i can think about any more is killing myself and i can’t just hobby it away.” and he was finally like “ok, we’ll look into it this weekend” and the next day i woke up with such a sense of relief because i was finally going to get help and i actually had a super productive day. i got some work done, i got a library card and checked out some books. i ran errands, i cooked dinner, i read an entire book. i was actually present in my relationship. i was excited to get my life and myself back. 

and then nathan literally died that night so y’know all of those plans were thwarted. 

and then i spent two years in a fugue state and then i kinda got my shit together and then a pandemic happened and blah blah blah whatever. 

and then we’re back at february 2021. 

after realizing that i had become such an anxious wreck i finally started looking into options. and there she was, an app that allowed me to literally just text a doctor and be like “hey doc im feeling sad :(“ and they’d be like “oh cool, here’s a prescription for zoloft lmk how ur doing in a month xoxo” and for the low cost of 30 dollars a month i have serotonin for the first time in 13 years. 

++

over the last couple of days i’ve been asked the question “what are you thinking about right now?” a few times and my answer is always the same- literally nothing. zoloft has my head so empty and it’s incredible. like, for once i’m not in my own head questioning every god damn thing i do. 

the other day, one of my friends was like “it’s actually enjoyable to hang out with you now” which sounds rude, but makes a lot of sense tbh- sometimes i’m literally just not fun to be around. now i’m fun most of the time- except for the window of time where i realize “oh god i haven’t taken my zoloft yet today” and i start having withdrawal symptoms. but otherwise, i’m great! 

it’s interesting feeling a sense of happiness that isn’t just a manic episode. like sometimes, i’m driving to work and i smile thinking about something one of my friends said earlier in the day. a big 180 from a few months ago when i couldn’t drive without my little beady eyes glued to the rear-view mirror. when i’m left alone with my thoughts for more than 10 minutes, they’re usually pretty decent thoughts, instead of the usual “everyone hates me and i am going to die alone."

i’ve also become a total boss babe- now that i’m not overthinking everything i’m actually able to do my job without an overwhelming sense of anxiety. i’ve always been capable and good at what i do, but for the first time i actually feel confident in my abilities. 

++

with a combination of taurus season being very generous to me and a year of Pandemic Realizations i feel like i’m actually a cool, functional human again (for the first time, even?). i’ve spent a lot of time filtering myself, toning down aspects of my personality to appeal to whoever i’m around, turning up parts of my personality to get attention, etc- and now i’m just out here like “ok so anyway this is me- you get what you get, you don’t throw a fit” 

surprisingly, people have been pretty receptive to that, it’s almost like i am a good person that is worthy of love and kindness or something. 

++

i still haven’t gone to therapy, but i’ve been able to work through a lot of trauma on my own over the last couple of months. i’m finally at a point where i can acknowledge the things i’ve been repressing for a few years without feeling like everything is about to collapse. in time, i hope i’m able to get to a point where i can actually verbalize the feelings i’ve been having, and the things i’ve been (kylie jenner voice) realizing- but i’m not there quite yet. it’s been a weird experience not spiraling every time i feel a human emotion. now i’m able to acknowledge things and be like “ok is there anything i can do to resolve this right now? no? ok then i don’t need to fixate on it” and i can push it away until i need to acknowledge it again. i used to be paralyzed by any sort of inconvenience. 

though, i will say, i’ve started doing this thing where i’ll be like “y’all mind if i share a genuine human emotion?” and then i’ll say something that i never would have dreamt of saying a year ago- generally something that insinuates that sometimes i do experience the human feeling of vulnerability. 

++

every once and awhile i do still get hit with the wave of “why couldn’t i have been this functional when i was with nathan?” guilt. i think that ties into a lot of the grief i feel over all of the years i lost due to my depression- and even more specifically the months i lost due to my depression when i first moved to new york, and again when we moved to philly. when i first moved to new york, i didn’t really leave the apartment for 3 months. i slept most of the time. there were days long stretches where i was just completely emotionally unavailable. and much like in my adolescence when my parents refused to acknowledge that maybe i needed help, sometimes i feel angry that nathan also refused to acknowledge that maybe i needed help. 

i spent a lot of time really agonizing over the fact that eventually i would be stable, and would eventually be a better partner to someone else than i was to nathan, and i think there’s still a part of that that exists in me- but i’ve found a little more peace with the concept. i’m thankful that nathan had the patience to deal with me when i was losing every last marble rattling around in my brain- but there’s always a part of me that’s like “damn, i wonder what our relationship would have been like if i’d been a little less unstable” 

++

you can really tell that my mental health has improved just by the trajectory that my close friends instagram story has taken. it used to just be me drunk and crying every night at 4am and now it’s thirst traps and girl boss selfies. 

there are still character flaws that are so deeply ingrained in me that i’m constantly having to be aware of and combat, but it’s a lot easier to do that when i don’t exist on pure anxious energy. everything i do is still very much informed by the deep-seated fear of rejection i have, but i’ve been trying very hard to start to break that down. it’s like an irrational fear. like ‘afraid to tell my friend i love them when i’m hanging up the phone because what if they actually just hate me?’ level. now my friends will literally call me back if i don’t say i love you before hanging up and be like “hey bitch i said i love you say it back” and now it’s becoming a little less terrifying. 

my inability of showing vulnerability definitely stems from that fear of rejection. look, it’s scary to be like “hello this is a tough thought i’ve been having lately do you mind unpacking it with me?” i know that if i were to say that literally anyone in my circle would be like “yea let’s do it” but just the concept that the option of them being like “nah that’s a lot” keeps me from saying anything. there have been a couple times in the last few months where i’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to acknowledge and unpack some of those hard truths though, so congrats to me or whatever. i’ve even been hugging my friends more often (which is saying a lot coming from a woman that has never hugged her best friend, still to this day). 

++

anyway, as soon as i start going to therapy it’s going to be over for these hoes because i’m gonna be hot and sane and probably unstoppable. 

[topicprinter]

Hey - this is Pat from StarterStory.com where I do interviews with successful e-commerce businesses.Doing something a bit different again - we interviewed Matt Griffin from Combat Flip Flops a few months ago on reddit.One of the most interesting parts of his story was how he landed a pretty cool Shark Tank deal, which consisted of:SharkAmtEquityMark Cuban$100,00010%Lori Grenier$100,00010%Daymond John$100,00010%Total$300,00030%I had Matt sit down and write about his Shark Tank experience, hope you enjoy:Hi. My name is Griff. I’m a co-founder and the CEO of Combat Flip Flops. I wrote a previous Starter Story interview and Pat said you dug it. He said many of you wanted to know more about our Shark Tank experience and asked me to tell you about it.Before I get into the story, this is going to be written in the first person. Between you and I. Because I know one of you out there is going to take this path and I’d love you to make the most of it--live the American Dream. Take your small business to the big show, land a shark, and build a company that employs friends and supports families.I’m a former Army guy. Did a couple tours with the 75th Ranger Regiment in Afghanistan and Iraq. After the Army, I worked as a home builder, did medical sales, consulting, and eventually started a business making flip flops in war zones with a fellow Ranger, Donald Lee, and my brother-in-law, Andy Sewrey. Yes. Flip Flops in war zones.Us on shark tankThe Shark Tank ExperienceThe Shark Tank experience was a multitude of highs and lows. Everybody hears about the "Shark Tank Effect" and dreams of being the next household name for whatever concept, service, or widget born out of their entrepreneurial dreams.Chasing that dream is all-consuming. From the moment you get the first call until you air, it’s an ever present escalation in stress.Skipping to the end--I cried. A lot. In a bar. On all of my business partners.We spent roughly one hour and forty five minutes in the tank. At the end, we had three sharks in the company. Mark Cuban, Daymond John, and Lori Greiner for $300,000 at 30% of the company. My shirt was pitted. Lee and I were hungry. And we didn’t know who to call first--our wives or business partners.Getting on the showCompletely candid--we were the exception.In February 2015, Lee and I met a reporter named Wes Siler. Great guy. DapperAF. Seriously. 6’1. Chiseled features. Odd English/American Accent. Leather jacket. Hipster motorcycle. Apparently he wrote for this publication called Gizmodo. I’m not a big media guy, so we didn’t fully understand the magnitude of this meeting.He sat his phone down on the bar, asked if he could record the conversation, and ordered a few beers. After about an hour of discussion, he finishes his beer, looks at us and says, "Ok guys. Great story. I have to go catch a plane to Las Vegas to go party with Billy Idol for the weekend. Later." And he was off.The following Tuesday, our website started crashing uncontrollably. Wes wrote the best article anybody’s ever written on our company (link) and nearly 175K people read it in less than 48 hours. Yeah. It was rad.Getting the phone callTwo months later, I was working in my kitchen after the family went to bed and my phone rings. It was from Culver City, California. I thought it was a spam caller, so I let it ring to voicemail. And it left a voicemail. Odd. What spammer leaves a voicemail at 1130pm? So I checked it."Hi. My name is Max Swedlow. I’m a producer from ABC’s Shark Tank and read your article on Gizmodo. Can you give me a call back? I think you’d be great for the show."WTF. I called him back immediately and he picked up. After a few minutes of discussion, I let him know that I thought Shark Tank was the business version of American Idol. They destroy young talent on TV just for ratings. Max was kindly persistent and said, "Hey man. I’ll send you the application. Sleep on it and get back to me in the morning."The written applicationDuring our morning meeting the next day, I let my business partners know about he call and my initial response. Lee responded, "Are you fucking high?! Do you know how big Shark Tank is? You’re a fucking idiot. Fill out the form and submit immediately."After work that day, I walked down to the gas station, bought a 12’r of Rainier, and started formulating the application. On the questions, there’s roughly six or seven lines for responses. We may have made it to the end of the second line on one or two questions. It was direct.After a few hours and a stack of empty cans, I attached the Word doc to the email and hit send. May or may not have been the best decision made in company history.Getting "downselected"Max called the next morning. "Dude, the responses are awesome. I need you to put together a video edit. Scratch that. There’s enough stuff of you guys on Youtube. Give me a few days." The 12’r method may have worked.A few days later, we started receiving emails from the ABC crew. We were in the downselect process.For those not aware, 55-60,000 small businesses apply every year. They downselect to roughly 300 companies from applications and whittle you down through the pre-production process. Eventually they select 170-180 companies to film. After filming 150ish of those companies make it to air.At this point, we were beating odds. Might as well run this one to ground.The filming processThis happened a few years ago and Shark Tank has an uber-aggressive NDA about details, so I’ll answer this as best as possible without getting ourselves in trouble with the ABC lawyers ;)We were notified mid-April that we were in the downselect process for the June filming dates. When you’re dealing with companies and opportunities this big, get used to the paperwork and lack of commitment in all communications. Just because they’re talking to you doesn’t mean you’ll get filmed, on air, or a deal. Just be prepared for it.Get ready to waitThey organize weekly calls with associate producers to go over your pitch, the process, stage setup, etc.. They are interviewing you the entire way. Are you going to be a good company? Are you going to be entertaining? Are you worth ABC’s time? You need to be positive, engaging, and professional in all of these interactions. After about a month, the pre-production calls end and you wait for the call to fly to meet the Sharks. And you wait. And wait.If you want to be involved with Shark Tank, then you want to be waiting. You wait. A lot. The military prepared us for this. It drives others crazy.Then we got the call.Filming / Day 1I’m going to skip a few details due to the NDA, but I’m sure you can dig around the internet to find the filming location and other details. It’s fast and furious.You land on day 1 and get shuttled to a hotel. At the hotel, you’re met by a producer to talk to you about the schedule. You’re either waiting at the hotel or filming. And you’re crammed into a hotel with a few other companies going into the tank. The vibe at the bar, restaurant, and pool is extremely nervous. The hotel wreaked of nervousness. It was weird.Day 2On Day 2, you go to the filming location. You’re finally get to meet your associate producers in person, take time to prepare your display, and get "The Brief." Basically, they sit all of the companies down and scare the shit out of you with the NDA. First rule of Shark Tank--You don’t talk about Shark Tank. Until your episode release date is announced, you can’t say anything about your experience. And until your episode airs, you can’t communicate the results. If you do--the Sharks are the least of your worries.After the butt puckering legal brief, you do pre-pitches to the producers. Basically, they want to know you’re not going to get in front of the Sharks and stutter your way through the filming. That would be bad for the production team and sharks. You’d be surprised how many companies get cut at this point. After your pre-pitch, the producers give you feedback and you return to your hotel to prepare.Day 3Early the next morning, you pack your bags, check out of the hotel, and jump into a van back to the filming location. They put you in a small green room where you continue to wait. You’ll get a call out for makeup and a microphones, then back to the room to wait. Eventually you get the call.You stand on a carpet in front of the big brown doors, the makeup tech does final touches, and a camera guy is hovering around you in one of those weird, floating, chest-rig cameras. Max met us at the carpet.Max: "Hey guys, I really think you should up your valuation."Me: "Nah man. I think we’re good."Max: "$300k for 10% is good. Do that."Me (in my head) " He’s just trying to get us to put up a stupid valuation to get sharked on film. Not gonna happen. I run with it though."Lee: (Shrugs)Me: "Ok Max. I’ll paper, rock, scissors you for it."Makeup Tech (Stares in Amazement)Max: "Really?"Me: "Yeah man. One shot. Let’s do this."I lost. Max chose paper. I chose Rock. He smiled and literally bee-bopped away. His step was ridiculously peppy.Decisions. Decisions. There’s a lot on the line here. If we fuck this up, people in factories in Afghanistan and Colombia don’t go to work. Mission first.Lee: "Bro. What are we going to do?"Me: "Fuck it. Stick to the plan. Let’s get this."Somebody called from behind us, "Five Seconds!" The doors opened and there we were… Heading into the tank.The pitchPitches are pitches. Nobody really pays attention. Get your point across in a format that ensures the company knows what product you make, why, and the value proposition.In the Rangers, you mockup targets before hitting them. Sometimes it’s simply white string outlines of buildings and rooms on bare terrain. Sometimes it's full builds of buildings. When you hit a target, you hit it at speed down to the footstep. We carried that mentality forward.Practice makes perfectLee, Andy, and I developed the pitch and rehearsed it no less than 1,000 times. Perfect practice makes perfect. We watched reruns, counted steps for the hallway and entrance, set up a mock tank and stepped it out. When we stepped into the tank, everything was the same down the amount of steps.Just practice being slow and clear. Practice until you can’t anymore, then double it.There’s no signature Shark Tank music!What’s different than what you see on TV? Well, there’s no music.Whenever you watch shark tank, you hear that dramatic beat. "Da Da da da. DA DA. DA. DA."It’s dead silent. In all our preparation, it never occurred the music was added afterward. It’s kind of like prepping for a big workout, having your favorite mixtape in the headset, and your battery dies as you hit your first rep. A real buzz kill.After the tapingAfter you’re done, they do the post interview in the height of emotion. Lee and I were both still reeling from the experience. All we remember was a golf cart, some cameras, and then getting back to our original green room.Since we closed a deal, representatives from the Sharks come to meet you. This was our first real experience with a Shark. It was enlightening to see the quality of people that represented their first touch with a new business partner. After 20 minutes or so, they returned back to the filming location. Lee and I left with our bagsSeven months later we got the call. With two weeks to prepare, the team slayed it on airing, grew the company nearly 450% that year, put over 200 Afghan girls in school, and employed a few hundred people.In the end, I’d do it all over again. This time, I’d have more inventory available to account for the wave of site visitors.It’s been a crazy ride ever since. If you’d like to be a part of it, make sure you follow us on all the socials @combatflipflops and join the #UnarmedForces at www.combatflipflops.comLiked this story? I've done nearly 100 interviews with similar founders at StarterStory.com.

[sending-the-message]

Imposter by RichardCGCGCG

It started about 3 months ago. I came home from work to find my wife, Millie, sitting at our kitchen table drinking a cup of tea. I had seen this image many times in the past, but that day something was different. Something was just off about her. I couldn't quite place it, the look on her face just seemed... unfamiliar. She asked me how my day was and I immediately had a tingling sensation run down my spine. It was a voice I had heard nearly every day for the past 5 years, but something was not quite right this time. I can't articulate how it was different, but I knew deep down it sounded... wrong. I had been under a lot of stress at work in the months leading up to this, so I tried to shrug it off as fatigue and go to bed early. I couldn't sleep that night however, especially after she crawled into bed next to me. I could hear her breathing close to the back of my neck, an unfamiliar rhythm, and it felt like being in the bed with a stranger. I must have drifted off eventually, and when I woke she was already gone. The rest of my day was filled with a sense of dread and uneasiness, as I hoped and prayed everything would be back to normal the next time I saw her. I would not be so lucky.

Millie and I have been married 5 years, but I've known her since we were both teenagers. She's the love of my life, and we are as close as two people can be. We've both helped each other through incredibly difficult times, and we honestly have no secrets. I know her better than anyone else on this planet knows her, and over the next few days I came to the horrifying conclusion that this person in my home was not my wife. She looked nearly identical, but several little details were off just a bit: the wrinkles by her eyes were too deep, her fingers a bit too long, her smell slightly more musty, her voice a shade of a different tone. But more than all those things it was her mannerisms that convinced me. Her facial expressions were different, her body movements more jerky. I felt it in my bones, this nagging feeling I tried to ignore, but I knew deep down this was not my wife.

One day I was watching her from the kitchen window as she worked in the garden. Her wrist brushed a sharp branch, and I nearly choked when I saw her blood. It was black. Pitch fucking black, and shiny, almost like oil. She quickly covered the wound and whipped around to stare at me through the window. My blood ran cold as I saw her eyes flicker into a deep black. It was like staring into two empty sockets, and the momentary grimace on her face was otherworldly. It only lasted a second. Then she blinked it away, smiled and shrugged, as though nothing was wrong. I slowly backed away, feeling dizzy and nauseated. After I composed myself for a few minutes, I found her in the bathroom, having just finished wrapping her wrist. I asked to see it but she said no way, she just got the bleeding to stop. I didn't know what to do, so I let it go... but I know what I saw.

The final straw came the following night, when I woke up at 2am alone in our bed. I crept downstairs and just stood there dumbfounded. She was watching home videos alone in our living room. No, she wasn't just watching them, she was studying them. She was intently focused on the clips of herself in particular, and it dawned on me that she was learning to perfect Millie's mannerisms and voice. I flipped on the light and she nearly jumped off the couch. "Richard what the fuck, you scared me!" I stood there silently, just watching this thing pretending to be Millie, my anxiety melting into a deep anger. Finally, I said in a calm but very firm voice, "Where is she." Now this thing looked afraid. She fumbled over her words and tried asking me what I meant. "I know you're not Millie. What the fuck did you do with her, and why are you here." She looked genuinely shocked, she probably never even considered I would figure out the ruse. Of course she protested, played dumb, even worked up some tears. But through it all she also had a knowing little look on her face, a little hint of something like sarcasm.

I stormed upstairs and locked the bedroom door. No more pretending. I wasn't sleeping next to this thing another night. I needed time to think, to figure out what to do. My head was spinning. About 30 minutes later I got a call from my best friend, Gary. "Millie" had apparently left and driven to his house! Smart move trying to get him on her side. I could hear her crying in the background, and Gary sounded worried. I tried to explain everything to him, all the little differences I'd noticed. To his credit, he heard me out, but after a long pause he said, "listen man, I've known you two a long time, I care a lot about you. I'm telling you honestly, she seems like the same Millie I've always known. I think you might be sick or something. We need to take you to a doctor." My heart sank. Of course he wouldn't believe me, I barely believed it myself. But he doesn't know her the way I do. The replica was good enough to fool almost anyone. But not me. Then it hit me, "look at her wrist! She cut her wrist yesterday and her blood was BLACK." He put me on hold. "It looks like a normal scab Richard. Will you please agree to see a doctor tomorrow? I'll get you in urgently with my doc first thing in the morning." My heart sank again. I considered the possibilities. 1. He was humoring me and didn't really look at the wound. 2. Her blood looks normal after it scabs or 3. I was going fucking crazy and imagining all this. No, I know what I saw, and I was going to prove it. "Ok, I'll see your doctor tomorrow." She stayed at Gary's until the morning. We met at Dr. Abraham's office at 9am. Under her name on the door it said psychiatrist. Great.

Dr. Abraham listened patiently to everything I had to say, and then let the Millie imposter state her case. "Richard has been acting funny for a few months. He's been distant and withdrawn, and his boss even called me to say Richard seemed distracted and paranoid at work." "She's lying! That's a complete lie!" I burst out. In retrospect, not the best way to appear sane, but I was furious at this point. There is no chance on earth my boss would call her, and my work was as good as ever. Dr. Abraham held up a hand and asked me to let her finish. I gritted my teeth. Millie imposter went on hesitantly, "and I know you don't want me to say this but I'm just trying to help... his mother was in an institution for a few years when she was his age. She needed electroconvulsive therapy, and it helped her a lot." The room was silent. That traitorous. fucking. bitch. She took the deepest tragedy from my childhood and used it against me. Using all of my self-control I managed to say, "My mother, was depressed. She was not crazy. And that hospital turned her into a zombie.” I went on, "I can prove to you this thing is not my wife. Just look at her wrist." Dr. Abraham glanced at Millie questioningly. "Fine, have a look," and she unwrapped the bandage.

No. No no no. It looked like, a normal scab. Fuck. I sputtered out "It has to be fresh blood, it will be black doctor I swear to god, I know this sounds crazy but please, please, just draw a little blood.” She said, "I can't do that Richard, I'm sorry but it's totally inappropriate." I couldn't help it now, my emotions were boiling over, despair, rage, betrayal, frustration. I snatched a pen off the desk and yelled, "if you don't do it I will! I know it sounds crazy, and if her blood is red I swear I will do whatever you want, I'll back down and admit that I'm wrong, but you have to try!" Millie sat frozen, her eyes wide and terrified. "Ok" said Dr. Abraham, "I'll draw a little blood if you're willing Millie, please follow me to the lab." Millie stood mechanically and followed the doctor out of the room. 5 minutes passed, then 10. The lab was just 1 door down, they should be back by now. Did the thing refuse to have its blood drawn? Did it kill the doctor and flee? Is the doctor too shocked to do anything? Finally, a knock came at the door, and two police officers stepped in. Fuck me.

"Hi there Rich, I'm officer Mac, we're here to take you to the hospital to get some help." There was no point resisting, no escape, Millie imposter had won this round.

I'll spare you all the details of my 10 day hospitalization. They diagnosed me with some bullshit psychotic syndrome, prescribed me Risperdal, tried to convince me it was all a delusion. I almost started believing it too, that is, until the thing came to visit on the last day. I knew immediately it wasn't Millie. I also knew my freedom depended on me playing along. I deserve a goddamn Oscar for my performance that day. I hugged her, told her I'm so sorry, I realize now it was all in my head, the medications are helping, etc. She believed me. They all did. She took me home that afternoon.

It's been 4 days since I was released. I've played it cool so far. I'm taking a leave from work for a while to “recover.” I hear her talking to Millie's friends on the phone. She tells them I seem to be doing much better now, that the doctors think it was just a brief psychotic episode, that the prognosis is good, that she feels safe around me. She even thinks I'm still taking the medication they gave me. One thing I learned on day 2 at the hospital is how to cheek meds properly. She thinks she is safe.

I'm waiting for the weekend, when no one will miss "Millie" for a few days. I WILL find out what she did with my wife. I will do whatever it takes. I will make her talk. And I will make her bleed.

[srseattlestreetnews]

Seattle Street News 54, On The Town

City News:

Invasion of the Cyber Snatchers?

One of the Tipster Army sent in a disturbing tip. The tipster, who works as a Doc Wagon medic, was wandering out in the Barrens at night after an evening of blowing off steam and headed into an alley to relieve himself. What did he find there? A dead body. That isn’t a big deal, it happens all the time. The body belonged to an unidentified human male, age unknown. The man had nice, expensive clothes, something a bit rare in the Barrens, and that is what caused our tipster to take a closer look. The man was certainly dead, and hadn’t been dead long. He was also missing an arm, a leg, and an eye, all on the same side. The body parts were not ripped off as if by some berserker, but carefully and precisely cut off. The tipster had to leave quickly because the sounds of Knight Errant sirens where quickly approaching. For a body in the Barrens.

We all know what this means. First off, the victim probably had a SIN. But more importantly for SSN readers: There is a probably a cybersnatcher in town. If you have cyberware, be careful, there seems to be someone dangerous on the loose.

 In Three Seconds—(by demmalition1)

It’s cold up here.

I’m alone above this city, sitting over the roof looking down on people as I write this. The wind is biting over 10 stories up, and the ledge that this neon billboard hangs off of isn’t the greatest. The crisp night air crackles with the hustle and bustle of Seattle’s nightlife community. I see so many people below going about the night, perusing through the numerous vices that entrap us in our daily loop.

One person below me stands out from the crowd, her bright pink mohawk cuts through the crowd with a dazzling display of bio-fiber patterns shifting through her spiky mane. She meets a man and goes around the corner to buy a few hits of bliss “for a friend.”

I see a man walk into a well known strip club, my AR display flashes his SIN in front of my eyes, showing he’s married with two kids. A bit of digging shows he visits here at least once a week,  he’ll be out a few hours from now hammered with his best buds.

The store below me a few doors down has kicked a couple out from their shop. Attempted shoplifting apparently, but the couple had money and was willing to pay for the items they had in their hands. The shopkeep goes on to claim that their money was no good there, he needed cold hard nuyen and their corp scrip wasn’t enough to buy the items. They’re going to go home to their kids empty handed again.

A block and a half down a woman screams out of view from an alleyway. Looking over I see a small crowd forming, looking on and shooting trids with their commlinks or cybereyes. After tracking their feeds I see the woman, she’s just been mugged and blood runs down her face and is pooling on the ground below. No one is going to help her, no one has thought to comfort her or call Knight Errant. The reason why?  She’s SINless and likely can’t pay for their help. After all, why would anyone have any decency in their hearts to help someone in need?  It’s not their commlink that got stolen, it’s not their credsticks that got lifted. She would be lucky to make it home tonight. I do the responsible thing and pay for DocWagon to cart her away. They arrive 15 minutes late, no rush to help someone who’s not even considered a person in the eyes of some.

On the other side of town a police raid on an “abandoned” apartment complex is being formed. This is a well known Cutter territory and, officially, no one lives there. Word has it on the street that illegal BTLs are being moved through here, with personafixes being wired into the heads of some bad men as they beat on bunraku puppeted people. It’s all well and good that Knight Errant go in and rescue the people there, but their actions in doing so are the crux of the problem. See, all this torture stuff happened on the top floor of the complex, and the tenants there knew to stay away in exchange for not being roughed up in their shithole “apartments”. Well when the cavalry went in and saw no SIN on “John Q. Public” they shot them dead for being in a “gang controlled zone”. In total 6 gangers were killed and 19 bodies were sent to the furnace. The bunraku puppets had their personafix chips taken out then sent on their way. No SIN, no support. They will live with these memories for what's left of their lives, all they could do was watch and feel pain.

Next up on the chopping block of this fair city is a man by the name of Miles Coltrane Parker. He was too poor to afford anything of value and often walked throughout the city at night to take in the sights and sounds. He wasn’t homeless, he wasn’t mentally ill, and he wasn’t a troublemaker. He just walked everywhere he went. Well, reports say that he was killed on the spot when he crossed into unmarked corp territory, their land their laws as is provided in their extraterritoriality agreement. A little talking to a PR rep later and she said he walked past multiple warning signs and might have been a runner. That’s right everyone, you read that correctly. The man who had no electronics, no team, no magical aura, and no sense of urgency in his step was a potential runner!  I ask where I could go to see the warning signs and I was directed to a warehouse a bit outside of town near his place. I walk up and, what do you know, no warning signs!  You can do this yourself readers, just walk up and see the complete lack of warning signs. Oh, wait, you got to turn on your AR feeds to see them. See, Miles was too poor to afford an AR overlay for his daily life and he was legally barred from purchasing one due to his lack of SIN. That’s right folks, he was too poor to see his own death. Many SINless can’t legally buy or afford AR displays and thus can’t see the warning until it’s too late. I wonder how many bodies they put away with this little trick. After all, those they legally kill aren’t legal people according to the law.

The final story for tonight concerns an ork kid, I’m using the letter “X” to protect his identity. X couldn’t be more than 8 years old and was walking home to his parents after spending a night out playing hooky with his friends. X, like his parents, has a SIN and is a legal member of society. The police report released the next day tells it from his point of view and the slightly blurred traffic cam footage released backs him up as well. As X was rounding a corner a group of four kids grab him and shove him into an emptied out trash bin before slamming the lid shut on top. They then take a set of pre-placed baseball bats and crowbars and proceed to beat on the can over and over for a few minutes, scattering like a breath in the wind when they see a car rounding the corner. Knight Errant agents tracked the boys down and drag them in for formal booking and interrogation. Guess what?  All four kids have parents who belong to the Humanis Policlub. As of press time no formal charges have been filed.

All of this happened in three seconds one cold night in Seattle.

 Entertainment News:

Garfield High Production of Les Miz opens this Friday

Garfield High’s production of Les Miz opens this Friday and will star a number of children who are part of our community. Look out especially for young Gavrosh, a star on the rise if there ever was one.

 Aztechnology’s PR Image Dips after Aztech-Cola Ad Debacle

Last week Aztech-Cola released a new ad. It was tailored specially for us. It was supposed to catch the zeitgeist of Dzhugashvili’s Seattle. A hologram of now deceased megastar Christy Daee was inserted into the Aztech-Cola commercial. The scene was of a crowd of SINless protesting and Knight Errant advancing. It was reminiscent of the SINless protest that took place a few months ago (See SSN 44), but rather than violence, Christy Daee presents the Knight Errant forces with Aztech-Cola and everyone bursts into song…a newly remixed version of her hit “Sunny Daee.” The ad immediately caused outrage. On one hand, SINless rights activists found the ad trivializing of their struggle for equality as well as the violence they have had to endure in that fight, on the other hand, Sunny Daee fans found the use of her image and remix of her song disrespectful to their beloved, departed star.

The ad was almost immediately taken down and Aztechnology issued a prompt apology. But will it make a difference?

 Features:

Once More 14--(by Breach)

Aztlan now possesses technology capable of killing the Great Dragons, and some of you might be wondering “Why didn’t the Dragon Council do anything about this?”  Well, they were a little busy with a problem of their own.

I don’t think any metahuman could possibly claim to understand just how the Dragon Council works, but what we do know is that it is headed by a position called “Lorekeeper”, who has traditionally been the dragon that possesses the Jewel of Memory, a record of the collective history of dragonkind. Dunkelzahn possessed this artifact until his death, when his Will bestowed it upon the Great Dragon Lofwyr (perhaps hoping to teach the ambitious golden wyrm some wisdom?)  Lofwyr held the title of Lorekeeper from that point on - until recently.

The Dragon Civil War is complicated, and scholars debate over when it actually started, but I’m going to cover only the most important parts. Sirrug’s attacks on Aztlan were one opening salvo, which was followed by Hestaby’s address to the UN on July 23, 2073 in a speech where she spoke of things dragons do not speak to metahumans of, and condemned Sirrug’s actions as war crimes, which helped lead to his condemnation and escalation of the Amazonia/Aztlan war.

Hestaby’s speech contained a lot of suggestions, both on the part of dragons and metahumanity, but few listened to the whole and chose to focus on only the parts that most enraged them; for the dragons, it was her concessions to metahumanity—most of dragonkind, particularly the Great Dragons, view metahumanity as pawns and playthings, pets at best, unworthy of a seat at the negotiation table. Her condemnation of Sirrug was a betrayal of dragonkind.

The strife between Hestaby and Lofwyr was the greatest; I’ve heard rumours that Hestaby actually defeated Lofwyr in some sort of draconic test of strength and would have claimed the Jewel of Memory for herself, but she rejected the continuation of dragonkind’s old ways and allowed Lofwyr to keep the Jewel and the title. If this rumour is true, Lofwyr has been stewing over the humiliation for years; there’s nothing more dangerous than a humiliated dragon.

Immediately after her speech, the head of Hestaby’s Shasta Shamans, Elliot Eyes-of-Wyrm, was killed by a sniper. While no one is sure who called the hit, Lofwyr was a prime suspect, and clearly the one Hestaby blamed; a week later, Hestaby and a veritable army of spirits appeared in Dubai over Saeder-Krupp’s Middle-Eastern headquarters and disassembled the entire complex - without a single metahuman fatality and only a few minor injuries to the staff there.

This led to a year of shadow warfare between the Great Dragons, with alliances being fostered and formed and attention being focused away from other affairs; Saeder-Krupp’s businesses have suffered for Lofwyr’s distraction, and in the wake of the chaos, a greater threat would emerge when Lofwyr’s brother, Alamais, seized the GeMiTo sprawl as his personal demesne. Believing dragons the true rulers of Earth, Alamais and his followers turned GeMiTo into a feeding ground, beginning a year of terror for all those metahumans unable to flee.

Despite his disagreements with Hestaby, open warfare with metahumanity was not part of Lofwyr’s agenda, and the Lorekeeper’s attention switched instead to the predation of his brother; gathering an alliance of dragons and metahumans to oppose Alamais. As typical in draconic battles, they started with his hordes, raiding the wealth of Alamais with the help of most of the Dragon Council. Attacks against the allies of the Loremaster escalated in response.

In early November, 2074, it was reported by magical experts that a great accumulation of magical power was detected around Mount Shasta; at 0139 on November 3rd, the energies released; at the same time, a massive explosion occurred in Alamais’s GeMiTo compound, though the Great Dragon himself survived. Shortly the same day, Alamais’s loyalists descended upon GeMiTo; what had been hunting for sustenance became retaliation as the dragons wreaked wanton destruction upon the life and property of GeMiTo’s residents.

This was the final straw for Lofwyr, who had to bring his brother to heel. Gathering an army of mercenaries and shadowrunners, as well as the efforts of several dragons including, reportedly, the Great Dragons Lung and Arleesh, Lofwyr descended upon GeMiTo. In a battle spanning two days (November 5 and 6), Lofwyr’s forces made their way towards Alamais’s lair, where the two brothers engaged in open battle above their gathered loyalists. Lofwyr came out triumphant, tearing his brother’s heart from his chest and securing his place in the hearts and minds of the world. Lofwyr had saved the world from Alamais.

The aftershocks were largely political; for two months the Dragon Council met in secret and the world was free of draconic meddling. The repercussions of this assembly are still being felt: Sirrug was imprisoned away from the world as punishment for his open warfare on metahumanity; Hestaby was banished from the affairs of dragonkind, her horde forfeit, as punishment for defying the traditions of dragonkind; and the Black Lodge, a secret society in Germany, was unanimously condemned and its destruction vowed by the Council.

The hordes of Hestaby and Alamais were divided among the Council, with Lofwyr’s loyalists receiving the bulk of the largess and Hestaby’s friends receiving the least. But one more shock was left - Lofwyr surrendered the position of Loremaster (though not, as best I can tell, the Jewel of Memory), recommending Celedyr as his replacement. The Council, eventually, agreed.

Celedyr’s first act was to call a truce upon violence between dragonkind and metahumanity; giving a year for affairs to be settled (and a bloody year it was), since December 26, 2075, the dragons of the world have been forbidden by the power of the Loremaster and the Council from waging open warfare upon metahumanity.

By decree of the Council, dragonkind has no further conflict with metahumanity, and the Great Dragon Civil War is behind us. Hestaby has not been seen since January 9, 2074, when she was spotted conducting one final survey of Mount Shasta, now empty and lifeless.

Questions about history? Ask Breach! breach.ssn@gmail.com

 Corp News:

Kidnapped NeoNET Exec Rescues Herself

SSN got a special tip with a video attached. My tipster sent this message:

"Seen this trid on Kappa yet? A dog running after a mouse in a park. After thirty minutes it starts chasing its own tail instead, running in circles. The rest of the trid is just three hours of this scene interspersed with three-second sequences of a small planet rotating around a giant K. Boring stuff right?

It’s the story behind it that’s interesting. According to my source, it shows the VR battle between NeoNET’s Gaeaca and Pluto, the rogue NeoNET AI that had got her abducted for her own protection. Looks like she managed to jack into the Matrix from her isolated gilded prison. Then she hacked into Pluto and harnessed the resources of NeoNET’s Kappa host to get Pluto to literally run after itself. It helped that Kappa is as much a piece of Gaeaca’s mind as can be.

It was just a matter of time, after that, for Gaeaca to bring her guards back to their senses and for NeoNET Security to shut Pluto down. Gaeaca’s current status is a close-kept secret but I was assured she's alive and recuperating from her ordeal." 

It looks like we have one of our kidnapped Execs back in Seattle, and it looks like this one was kidnapped by her own company, or at least a part of it. But the bigger news is that NeoNET has a Rogue AI kidnapping its execs. What is happening over there at NeoNET?

 Aztech Promises Increased Security at Their Gyms

In light of the footage revealing the attack on Krund Yuste Alfonso in the downtown Aztechnology gym, Aztechnology PR reps held a press conferenece addressing the embarrassing incident. Their RP rep insisted the attack was an isolated incident and that they are having their top security expert Grace Castillo retrain all Aztechnology gym security personnel. Seattlites and been assured that Aztechnology gyms are completely safe and an excellent place for all of your fitness needs.

 Gang News:

Lone Wolf Attacks on Gangs on the Rise

One of the Co-Leaders of the gang Iberis, “Flower” and two other gang members were attacked recently by an unknown cybered-up assailant, reportedly with razor fingers. Flower was badly injured, but a hospital tipster says she is recovering quickly and will be back in action shortly. A tipster familiar with Iberis told SSN that Flower and her lieutenants were attacked by an elite professional, but were still able to hold their own, evidence of the strength and power of new gang Iberis. Members of The Lost Boys were also rumored to be attacked by the Razor-fingered Attacker.

In another part of town, near the newly renovated Crowne Hotel, there has been reports of an “Angel in a Black Duster” murdering gang members on a massive scale. Tipsters note that bodies have been found scattered like so many toys, shot, burned and beaten. This angel seems to be some sort of mage, with reports that they merely point at gang members and they catch fire.

There are continued reports of a troll and an orc ambushing and attacking Trollkiller gang members.

This is a lot of violence against gang members including death. I think it is time that the SSN says a few words about gangs. Gangs, like runners, fixers, blackmarketeers, and all the rest, are denizens of the shadows. They are part of our community and they are not all the same. Sure, some are Trollkillers, sociopathic racists who don’t contribute to the community, but not all of them are. Some are just SINless kids trying to find community in the middle of a crappy situation. Gangs are sometimes violent and sometimes they are blights. But sometimes, they keep the community safe when Knight Errant wouldn’t dream of entering the neighborhood. Sometimes, they are the only after school program these kids have.

All you Lone Rangers, before you go off murdering gang members, remember, some of them are children just trying to make it in the 6th World.

 Runner News:

On the Town and In the Shadows

This was a great week for Shadow Watchers, many of our favorites were out and about on the town, and tips were coming in at a furious pace. Disgraced underground fighter 'Pretty Boy' Floyd was spotted around the Columbia area. Plotting a return to the ring perhaps? The runner Legs was seen smoking cigarettes and drinking vodka at Le Chat Noir. She was cynical as usual. MMFEC was out an about: Firepower was seen boxing at the Renton gym (a gym that seems to have some serious management problems), Electronics was on a date with one of our favorite VR personalities…one we’ll call “Princess” (we hope that went well, what potential power couple!), Conversationalist was seen at the Frozen Yogurt place where the Faces meet…all the Faces? They are one good-looking group! But isn’t that always the case? Lastly, one VR tipster told us the Cloud was seen at a new VR hangout: Studi0 54. Word has it, Studi0 54 is the new hotspot for the denizens of the shadows. SINless are welcome.

 Seattle Street News is an independent activist news source released weekly on Tuesdays or Wednesdays

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