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annab-nana · 3 years

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One Love, Two Mouths - Sarah Cameron

Now that your close friends and family know, you had to keep up the lie that it was Scarlet you were after when really it was her best friend your eyes were on and being at a New Year’s Eve party with her there proved to be harder than you had anticipated.

A/N: This is the second part to Sweater Weather so make sure you have read that already if you haven’t :)

Warnings: some curse words; mentions of alcohol and drinking

Word Count: 3.5k+

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<- Part 1

It would not be you and Rafe if you both hadn’t woken up in the middle of the afternoon after staying up way too late watching movies and joking around. When you felt something blowing in your face, you opened your eyes to see how seriously close Rafe’s face was to your own.

“Rafe,” you mumbled, shaking his body lightly with your hand on his shoulder. “Scoot the fuck back.” You would have moved him yourself, but he was much larger and if you pushed against him, you were sure you would end up pushing yourself off the bed considering how little room he had provided you.

“Whaaa?” he dragged out as he barely moved and kept his eyes closed. You went against your better judgment and tried to push him yourself, but you should’ve listened to yourself. He did not move an inch, but you overestimated the amount of space you had on your side of the bed and felt the mattress slip from beneath you. Your arms reached out to grab onto something, anything, but they caught nothing, and you landed on the ground with a thud.

“Ow,” you muttered before Rafe’s head shot up from the pillow he was just drooling on.

“Why are you on the floor?” he inquired as your eyes rolled at the boy.

“Because you are a bed hog and when you didn’t move when I asked, I tried to move you myself which got me here,” you told him while you two stared at each other for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles together.

“Are-are-are you okay?” he breathed through his laughs while he lent you a hand to help you out. You took his hand in yours and let him lift you up before you sat down on the side of the bed you just woke up from.

“Yes, just don’t sleep all crazy and we’ll be good,” you said as your laughter died down. When you looked over at him, you still noticed the saliva slipping down his face.

“You need to do something about that,” you told him, pointing towards the drool. His hand came up to his face, effectively wiping it away before he attempted to wipe it off on you. Your movements were quicker than his and you managed to grab his wrist before it met your skin.

“I don’t think so,” you warned while your other hand reached to grab a tissue from his bedside table and cleaned the slobber off with it. Rafe chuckled at you when he leaned back on the pillows while you tossed the tissue in the trash can.

“Are you getting ready here or at your place?” the Cameron boy questioned before he reached over to grab his phone and check the time, his practically bulging out of their sockets at the sight of it being nearly three in the afternoon. You laughed at his expression as you picked up your own cellular device.

“Probably my place. What about you and the other two dorks?” His face showed mock hurt, causing your giggles to increase.

“I don’t about Topper and Kelce, but I’ll probably get ready here because I have to help Sarah prepare for the party. You gonna get some chips, right?” the blond told you while he rubbed at his eyes a little and sat up again. Tonight was the New Year’s Eve party that Scarlet normally threw, but since her parents decided not to go on their annual ski trip and Ward and Rose were on a work trip, Sarah suggested they have it here. All it took was a little convincing to get Wheezie to spend the night with a friend and the house was free.

“Yep, I should probably get going anyway. I gotta shower and do other things as well,” you informed the boy as you rose from your spot next to him and slipped on your shoes. You saw yourself in the reflection of his mirror, wearing some pajama shorts, an oversized shirt that you had stolen from Kelce a few months ago, and your old beat-up converse. Your hair was a knotted mess from the particularly good sleep you had gotten, but at the moment you didn’t care. In your opinion, it completed the hot mess look you appeared to be going for.

“Okay well, be here at like nine to help me clean up and shit. Sarah is gonna be on my ass and I can’t handle her like you do. You have this like magic touch when it comes to her.” He did not know it, but his words caused your cheeks to heat up. You took pride in being able to read and understand his sister very well. Of course, it was because you basically studied the girl, you were in love with her.

“Hey, also Scarlet is coming tonight so we might can get you in with her,” Rafe shot you a wink after speaking. You rolled your eyes at him, knowing all three of them were going to be pushing you towards the girl. Scarlet was nice and all, but she was not Sarah.

“I don’t want to start the new year like that. I want to start like I do every year, with my boys, okay?” Rafe nodded with a grin that told you he heard you but would not be listening at all. “Rafe, I’m serious,” you warned in a low tone while stepping back towards the door.

“Me too, y/n. You need to get out there!” he shouted as you slammed the door shut behind you before leaning against it, a small chuckle falling past your lips.

“Get out there? Y/n, are you finally dumping those bozos and finding a real man?” the voice that made your knees weak and your heart stop asked from beside you. You gasped, the girl’s presence scaring you a bit.

“Jesus, Sarah,” you muttered when your hand flew to your chest. She giggled at you, the melodious sound flowing through your ears like angelic music. Everything about her, especially that cute smile of hers, had you so captivated by her. You needed to leave soon before you made a damn fool of yourself or worse, Rafe came out and found out that you were crushing on his sibling.

“Sorry, y/n,” she laughed, her hand clasping on your shoulder, “but seriously, are you getting out there tonight? Scarlet and I made sure to invite some pretty hot guys to the party.” You haven’t told her about your sexuality yet. The only people who knew were Rafe, Topper, Kelce, and your family. You were planning on telling her, but you didn’t know when.

“Um, that’s nice Sarah, but I kinda wanna lay low tonight and just drink with the guys,” you told her honestly as you had just told her older brother. You didn’t plan on having the two eldest Camerons pushing you to take a shot at someone tonight.

“Oh, come on y/n. Live a little,” she whined before shooting you a wink and backing away towards her room.

“I might,” you called out as she retreated past the doorway. Once she was gone, you let out a sigh and skipped down the steps to go out to your car.

…

It did not feel like hours had passed since you were last at Tannyhill, but it had been. You had gone home, showered, got ready for the party, stopped at the store to get those chips Rafe asked you to pick up along with some other things that you knew he probably forgot to get that Sarah wanted him to get, and made it back to the Cameron estate in a rather good time frame. It was 8:30, thirty minutes before Rafe had asked you to be there and when he saw you walk in, his face flooded with relief.

“Y/n!” he shouted before rushing to you to help with the bags you were holding. His eyes dropped from yours for a moment to look you over, a smirk growing on his face. “You look good. Is this for Scarlet?” He couldn’t help but tease you.

“No this is for me, asshole,” you huffed while shoving his shoulder with your now free arm. He wasn’t lying though. You did look good. Your makeup and hair looked flawless. You wore your ripped jeans and a nice flowy tank, the colors complimenting your skin wonderfully. You looked amazing and there was no denying it. It wasn’t for Scarlet though. It was mainly for you and a little bit for Sarah, even though you were sure she wouldn’t spare you a glance.

“Y/n! You look beautiful!” Okay, maybe she’d glance at you, but it wasn’t the way you wanted her to look at you. The compliment coming from her made your heart soar to the sky and flutter like a butterfly. Your cheeks burned at her words as you nodded at her.

“Thank you, Sarah! You don’t look too bad yourself.” She only had her hair and makeup done, still wearing her t-shirt and shorts you saw her in earlier, but to you, she looked ethereal. She was an angel, a goddess, a princess in your eyes. Sarah blushed at your words before looking down at her feet.

“Thank you, y/n! You are way too nice to be friends with him,” she commented, earning a ‘hey!’ from Rafe as you two giggled at it.

“Let’s go take this to the kitchen,” Rafe reminded you and you nodded at him before waving at Sarah and following him to the counter where all the food and drinks sat.

“So, I got the chips you asked for and some more different kinds, then I got some drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, and the stuff to make some dip and punch,” you informed him while unloading the bags.

“Jesus, y/n. I only asked for chips,” he chuckled while scratching at the back of his head.

“Yeah, I know, but Sarah asked you to get the drinks and I can see you didn’t,” you told him while you looked around for them, but they were nowhere in sight.

“I was gonna get Topper to get them before he came but now, I don’t have to,” he laughed at your preparedness.

“Then I know you three like that beefy cheese dip thing that I make, and I know Sarah likes punch, so I decided to get stuff to make them both.”

“Okay, do you need help with anything?” Rafe asked, feeling a little bad that you had to do his job.

“Not right now. Go ask Sarah if she needs help with anything because I’m sure she’s probably lost her mind planning this thing,” you offered. He nodded before leaving you in the kitchen to get to making stuff. Having basically grown up there, you knew where everything was, so you got to work on it all.

Around two hours later, people started arriving and the party commenced. Kelce hung out in the kitchen with you, and by hung out, he sat on the counter next to you and went to town on the dip that sat between you both. You were about to hop off to get yourself a refill, but you saw Topper and Rafe walk in and asked Topper to get you some more, which he gladly did.

“Thanks, Top,” you smiled at the boy when he handed you your beverage back. He gave you a nod before standing next to you as Rafe did the same next to Kelce.

“Pass me some chips, bro,” Topper asked Kelce while both Rafe and Kelce had a hand in the bag already.

“I got more over there,” you reminded the boys who left Kelce’s bag alone and went to get their own. Your eyes fell back on the girl you had been staring at all night. The way her brown eyes shined and her lips curved up into that gorgeous grin made you fall harder for her. You watched her throw her head back in laughter, you dying to be the one to make her laugh like that, but for now, you settled on just watching it from afar.

“You are staring at Scarlet,” Rafe teased you while dipping his chip into the bowl beside you. You rolled your eyes at him before Kelce spoke up.

“She’s been looking over there all night.” You looked back over to Sarah and Scarlet was in fact next to her. You had not noticed, your eyes obviously trained on someone else, but staring at Scarlet was a better cover story anyway.

“N-no,” you stuttered, a tell-tale sign that you were caught. The trio chorused in laughter, all knowing that you were lying. “Fine, I was looking over there a little.”

“More like a lot, y/n/n,” Topper grinned while looking over to the girl they thought your eyes were glued to.

“I told you, y/n. Just make a move tonight. Get your first girl. Do you know how exciting that will be?” Does he know how exciting it will be if you get the girl of your dreams? Not her best friend that they thought you were infatuated with.

“Rafe, I told you I want to spend New Year’s Eve with you guys, not pining over a girl who will probably never feel the same. No one else even knows I’m into girls besides you three and my family. That’s it and I don’t want to tell anyone else for now.” Your eyes found the girl again, but now she wasn’t with Scarlet at all. She was with some guy, probably one of the hot guys she mentioned inviting earlier, and he had his hand on her arm slowly sliding it down until he found her waist.

It shouldn’t have bothered you. You weren’t together. You weren’t even talking. To Sarah, you two weren’t even a possibility, but it hurt a little. It stung to see her with someone else. You felt your eyes begin to water but you blinked any tears that dared to show themselves away.

“Uh, I’m gonna go outside and get some fresh air,” you mumbled to the three that sat around you before hopping off the countertop and slipping through people until you found the back door and walked out of it. The three boys looked at each other in confusion, all of them clearly sensing that you were upset about something.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have teased her about the Scarlet thing?” Rafe spoke, now feeling incredibly guilty. You and him teased each other all the time, so he saw no harm in it, but now he felt like he had crossed a line with you.

“Or maybe Scarlet wasn’t the problem at all,” Kelce wondered out loud, the puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly in his head. Rafe and Topper unfortunately were not picking up what he was putting down, so the boy rolled his eyes before explaining. “She was looking at Sarah and Scarlet, right? Well, when Scarlet was gone and Sarah was over there alone with a guy, y/n got upset so…”

“She likes Sarah,” Topper finished Kelce’s sentence. “She probably didn’t want to tell you because that’s your sister.”

“And your ex,” Rafe reminded him. Rafe did not care if you liked Sarah. He only cared that you were happy and if that meant you were with his sister, then that was fine. You were basically family already so might as well actually become it.

“Rafe, that was forever ago, and I don’t care if she likes Sarah,” Topper told him.

“I don’t either,” Rafe stated.

“Well, we should tell her it’s okay if she likes Sarah,” Topper suggested while Rafe nodded at him, them both setting their chip bags down and about to leave before Kelce stopped them.

“I think she’s beating you to it,” he said while nodding towards the blonde girl who walked out the door. “Let’s give them a moment.”

Sarah saw you walk out and having grown up around you and you being the only other girl she could really trust, she knew something was wrong with you. She assumed it was something the guys had said as a joke, but she knew you and she knew that you would shoot them right back with some sarcasm or a witty comeback when they did something like that. She knew that something had to really be bothering you for you to excuse yourself and it worried her.

Sarah saw you standing out by the water. You had taken your sandals off and held them in your hand as you stared out at the moon’s reflection on the water’s surface. The wind blew your hair to the side softly and the moonlight shone on your face perfectly. You glowed, looking as beautiful as ever and the sight caused a feeling in Sarah that she had never felt about you before and she liked it.

“Y/n?” she called out when she had gotten closer to you. You almost did not notice her. You originally thought the footsteps you heard were Rafe’s, but they were actually Sarah’s. You smiled at her when another gust of wind came your way, causing you to shiver. You mentally cursed yourself for wearing what you had chosen as it did not help you in the cold at all.

“Come here,” Sarah mumbled when she stood behind you. She wore a large cardigan, one you were quite envious of at the moment before grabbing your wrists when you turned to her. Your eyebrows drew together when she linked your hands together behind her back underneath the sweater material, but you already felt much warmer. She took the sides of the cardigan in her hands and brought them together at the small of your back so that you both were now wrapped up in the warmth of the cardigan and each other.

“Thanks, Sarah,” you sighed in relief while your head rested on her shoulder as did hers on yours.

“So, what’s got you so upset?”

“How did you know I was upset?” you questioned her before she laughed.

“Y/n, I know you. I could tell and you always come to look at the water when something’s bothering you so what is it?” she inquired when she pulled away to look at you. Now was the best time to tell her about it so you did.

“I’m bi,” you told her confidently. You felt wonderful telling her, but also a bit of nervousness came with the confession since she was the first female friend that you had told. All that nervousness disappeared in an instant though when you caught sight of that beautiful smile of hers.

“I’m glad you finally realized,” she chuckled a bit while your eyes widened. “What? You think I didn’t know. I used to see how you looked at Kie a few years ago.”

“I don’t like Kiara anymore,” you mumbled, “and I don’t like Scarlet either despite what the guys think so if you hear that, it’s false.”

“Well, who do you like?” You wanted to scream from the rooftops that it was her that you liked but you could not do that, could you? Her big brown eyes sparkled at you as she awaited your response. Tell her something, anything at this point.

“I- uh,” you stumbled with your words a bit as you heard the people inside begin counting down from ten. “It’s um, you. Damn it, it’s you that I like,” you started as you stepped back from her and her embrace, back into the unrelenting cold while the chanting of numbers rung from the house. “I’m sorry if this makes you feel weird or something,” five, “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” four,” I still want to be your friend,” three, “and hopefully you want to be mine,“ two, “I’ve messed everything up, haven’t I?” one.

“Shut up,” Sarah whispered before her hands cupped your face and pulled you closer to hers. The moment you had been dreaming of for quite some time now was happening. Your dream was coming true as you felt her lips connect with hers. Your eyes widened and you took in a sharp breath before you melted into her, your arms wrapping around her neck while hers fell to your waist. You heard the shouts coming from inside her home as everyone celebrated the new year, but in your mind, you were screaming in excitement about how you were starting your new year.

After some time, you both had to pull away for some air. Your eyes darted between her own before they glanced down at her swollen reddened lips and then came back up to her eyes.

“Sarah,” you sighed. It did not feel real. It felt real, but at the same time, it didn’t. Something was up. This couldn’t be true. The universe didn’t work like that. It normally gave you the shit end of the stick and now your dream was coming true.

“Y/n, I like you. I didn’t realize until just a few moments ago, but now I know, and I want to be with you,” she confessed to you. Your lips tugged upwards in a wide grin as you soaked in the moment.

“Really?” you asked, your mind still telling you this was all fake and would end soon. Sarah bit her bottom lip before nodding her head at you. “Then let’s be together.”

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vantaenims · 4 years

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bittersweet | yoongi

pairing: idol!yoongi x reader

genre: established relationship au | fluff, bit of angst

word count: 7.6k

warning/s: alcohol consumption.

summary: Being miles away from you, Yoongi’s starting to feel like he’s missing out in your life and he can’t help but be guilty about it hence the reason why he made it his mission to be with you as much as possible now that he’s back home.

Part of BTSGhostieBingo (idol!au prompt)

masterlist

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Yoongi has his hand around the steering wheel, drumming his fingers against it whilst his other arm is placed beside the window, knuckles pressed against his temple as he impatiently stared at your door for about five minutes now. Unlocking his phone, he was about to text you again until a blue bubble popped up saying ‘wait’ as a reply to his first text when he told you he’s outside already, making him wonder what’s taking you so long.

During your call last night, you mentioned to Yoongi that you’re running low on food and that you’ll be going to the grocery store tomorrow, causing him to immediately tell you that he’ll join and accompany you even though he still has a song that he needs to work on which he didn’t told you since you’re probably going to decline his offer to help if you happen to know it.

It’s a song he’s been working on ever since the tour started which is exactly three and a half months ago but he only got to finalize it last night just so he could spend the weekend with you hence the reason why he’s running low on sleep for today but it’s not like that mattered to him right now.

Given the circumstances of his idol life, the majority of the time spent in your relationship is being far away from each other that’s why he tries to make up for the lost time by being with you almost every day ever since he got back last week.

Truth be told, Yoongi never really believed Long Distance Relationships could work and as a matter of fact, he thought that this relationship would just be some sort of a fling to him, bearing in mind that it’s hard for him to enter in a fully committed relationship given his hectic life but luckily, his opinion about it changed when you two somehow managed to make it work - for about two years already and more years to come.

His thoughts were then cut off as soon as he heard a knock coming off from the window of the passenger seat, unlocking the doors once he saw that it was only you whom he'd been waiting all this time.

“Finally, what were you doing for the past ten minutes?”

“Hello” you greeted in such a cheery voice as you always do whilst you leaned towards Yoongi to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Did you just got out of the shower?” Yoongi chuckled as soon as he saw how the upper half of your hair is dry while the other half is still damp.

“Sorry, i just woke up when i read your text that you’re on your way” you said as you buckled yourself in your seat.

“I got out of my house at 2 p.m.” Yoongi said, looking at the time that’s displayed on his touch screen stereo, “What time did you sleep?”

“I think it was about 1:30 or 2 in the morning”

“You’ve slept for twelve hours!?” Yoongi bewilderingly looked at you, slightly jealous at how you’ve managed to get a full sleep while he’s only running on four hours of sleep even though he willfully did that on purpose.

Of course, he wouldn’t tell you the lengths he had to go just so he could free his time for today because knowing you, you’d probably scold him and tell him to just rest which he thinks is surprisingly the last thing he wants to do, not when time’s limited for him as he needs to leave in a few days to continue the tour.

“It’s just one of those lazy days” you said whilst yawning as you stretched your arms to fully awaken yourself.

“You haven’t eaten anything yet then?”

“Not yet but I’m fine, I don’t really feel that hungry” you smiled, grabbing Yoongi’s free hand to intertwined them with yours when he gave you a discontented look that didn’t last for long as he return back the smile, raising your intertwined hands to kiss the back of your hand before he freed his hand to switch the gear.

Yoongi proceeded to drive towards the direction of the grocery store where the grocery is but he thought that a little detour won’t hurt, not when that detour is towards the Mcdonald’s Drive Thru.

“I’ll have the six pieces McNuggets meal and can you make the drink and fries into large, thanks.”

As soon as Yoongi got the paper bag, he then placed it on your lap as he continued to drive to exit the drive thru and onto your real destination, not even sparing you a look, making you laugh at how he’s still trying to appear so nonchalant after all these years when he does caring things like this but it’s fun to tease him when he’s acting to be one.

“Aww Yoongs, Thank you” you pinched his cheek which only caused him to scoff as he tried to remove your hand away from his face even though you could clearly see he’s trying to hide his smile as he rolled his eyes.

It has been a year since your relationship with Yoongi was announced to the public but you still have to be very cautious whenever you two go out in public as to not raise any unwanted attention and you were both given a set of rules that you need to abide with but there’s this one rule you always seem hard to follow - lessen any displays of affection in public as much as possible.

You put on your mask and put the hood of your jacket up once Yoongi turned off the engine as he followed you in disguising himself, wearing his black bucket hat and mask. As you got out of the car, your hand instinctively went to reach towards Yoongi’s until you realized the situation you both are in, causing you to keep your hands inside the pockets of your jacket as you walked distantly beside him.

It was weird for you to act so secretive when you two started to date and it was way too hard when you both have to keep your meetings a secret when your relationship got official like that time when you were told that you can only eat out in public at this designated place which is an exclusive restaurant that’s owned by one of Yoongi’s trusted friends for the sake of protecting both of your privacy.

Eventually, talks about your relationship with Yoongi gradually died down after it was publicly announced as time passed by though it can’t be helped that it’ll be sometimes brought up in one of their interviews even though it’s totally unnecessary in the first place but you guessed that you just have to live and deal with it.

“What do you want for dinner?” Yoongi asked as he got one of the carts from the aisle, volunteering to push it around while you scan for food.

“Are you going to cook dinner?” you looked back at him with wide eyes, a surge of excitement crashing at the news.

Yoongi knows how big of a fan you are of his cooking and he’s certain about it because you basically bombard him with messages whenever you get a sudden craving for it or how you’ll express your disappointment whenever you buy something he would cook only for it to be compared, saying how it’ll never taste as good as his which he’s taken pride of.

“Does steak and mashed potatoes sound good?” Yoongi asked as he put the frozen sirloin into the empty cart only to see that it wasn't empty anymore as he spotted the bottle of red wine.

“I knew you’d say my favorite, that’s why i got the wine”

“You never liked the taste of wine”, Yoongi stated, remembering that time he brought a wine with him when he visited your house only for it to be only consumed by him as you can never stand anything that tastes bitter which is one of the things he first learned about you.

But there was that one instance when you got him amused when you decided that you’ll be drinking with him although it’s totally way out from what he expected. The memory is still as clear as day when he remembered you walking out of his kitchen with a wine glass on hand that you placed on the centerpiece table of his living room.

“Are you going to have a wine?” Yoongi asked with his brows raised, settling his glass filled with wine on top of the table.

“I thought it’s not fair for you to drink alone so might as well join you” you adjusted yourself as you sat down on the carpeted floor beside Yoongi.

“You really don’t have to drink -” Yoongi didn’t get to finish his sentence when you whipped out a grape juice box behind your back, watching as you poked the covered hole with it’s straw to squeeze out the contents into the glass.

“Cheers?” you said as you swirled the liquid in the glass, making it look as if it’s the same wine he’s drinking and Yoongi can’t help but laugh at your quirky attempt.

“A grape juice?”

“Hey, wine is also a grape juice except it’s fermented and i can never like anything that tastes bitter so what do you expect?” you reasoned out but nonetheless find the whole thing funny too.

Yoongi can only watch in delight as you get more defensive about the topic of grape juice vs wine, convincing him that both of the beverages are sourced from the same fruit, the only difference is that the other one tastes bitter whilst the other one tastes sweet.

“It’s okay baby, it’s the thought that counts”

You stopped yourself from talking as soon as you heard the term of endearment come out of Yoongi’s mouth. It was always you who would call him ‘baby’ until now and you can’t help but blush as you try to conceal your growing smile when you remember what Jungkook told you.

“You are indeed cute when you’re drunk” you looped your arm around his as you rested your chin on his shoulder to kiss his cheek, making his smile bigger.

Yoongi clinked his glass with yours before he downed the remaining wine in one go as he try to quickly cover up the embarrassment he felt although there’s no use in hiding it anymore once he felt how warm his face feels like, not knowing if it’s the effect of the alcohol or if it’s your effect - obviously, it’s you.

“Can we grab a coffee first before we leave?” Yoongi asked once he felt his energy slowly depleting, the cup of coffee he had in the morning clearly out of his system now that he’s feeling a bit grumpy which is more of a reason that he needs to refuel with caffeine.

“Sure” you said as you closed the trunk of the car after you helped him load the groceries, following Yoongi to the cafe that’s right beside the grocery store.

Thankfully, there aren’t many people dining inside the cafe that’s why you’ve gotten to the counter right away as Yoongi did the work of telling your orders to the attendant whilst you scanned the cakes that are displayed as you munch on a pack of Skittles you got back in the store.

“Do you want anything else?” Yoongi asked just before he could finalize the orders.

“I’m fine, there’s no red velvet cake” you said as you managed to stand beside Yoongi, a piece of Skittles in between your fingers ready to go straight to Yoongi’s mouth until you stopped when you felt the cashier attendant’s gaze on you as if she’s trying to recall why you looked so familiar.

You’ve clearly forgotten that you’re still out in public and that your face is perfectly visible as you’ve lowered your mask to eat but it’s too late to hide your identity as you saw how her eyes widened once she recognized who you are. She definitely got starstruck once she glanced beside you where Yoongi’s standing though she remained professional and offered a smile towards the both of you which you both gladly returned with a bow of your head.

“Your orders will be ready in a while”, she said as she handed the receipt to Yoongi who let out a little chuckle as you both made your way towards the claiming area, still finding it hilarious how you quickly retrieved your hand to eat the candy instead when the attendant recognized you.

“I think i should eat this later” you muttered as you placed the mask back again on your face, sealing the pack of candy for later.

Looking over your side, you bumped your hips against Yoongi’s when you saw his shoulders still visibly shake from laughter and how his eyes turned into little crescents from smiling.

Yoongi went over the counter as soon as your orders were called, getting his Iced Americano while he handed to you your Caramel Macchiato, muttering a thank you to the staff as you made your way out of the shop and back to the parking lot.

“Ah finally, i could eat in peace” you said as you got inside the car, discarding your mask and taking your hood down. You reopened the pack of Skittles, pouring them over your palm as you straight out put it on your mouth and also pouring more for Yoongi but he offered his palm instead when you reached your hand out to feed it to him.

“Say ah” you said as you picked one piece of candy instead, zooming in your finger like an airplane into his mouth.

“What am i? A child?” Yoongi playfully grimaced but obeyed nonetheless as you popped them into his mouth.

“Yes you are” you chuckled, resting back in your seat as you raised your leg to tuck it under the other leg, “Why don’t we play a game and you try to guess the flavor of the skittle i’ll feed you?”

You strictly instructed Yoongi that he could not cheat and inspect the color of the candy, telling him he could only look straight ahead at the road, causing him to laugh, saying how he’s going to look straight either way as he needs to keep his attention on driving you both home safely.

“Raspberry”, Yoongi said in full certainty.

“How can you tell Raspberry apart from Wild Cherry?” you squint your eyes at him, skeptical if he cheated or he’s just really good at guessing it because you’re positive that those two flavors taste exactly the same - for you, atleast.

“Maybe my sense of taste is better than yours”

“Yeah you’ve got all the flavors right” you’re impressed to say the least as you try to feed Yoongi another piece of Wild Cherry to test him again until he gently grabbed your hand to stop you as he felt his throat itch from eating too much sweets.

“Doesn’t your throat itch from eating too much sweets?” Yoongi looked over at you, watching as you devoured the candy you were going to feed him instead and as if that isn’t sweet enough, you grabbed your caramel based beverage to sip on it which just made Yoongi cringe in distaste.

“I just really like anything that’s sweet”

“You’re going to get Diabetes at an early age” Yoongi warned as he always has but he knows that his warning will just be disregarded as you continue to satisfy your sweet cravings as you always do.

“That’s why i’m eating as much sweets as i can before i’ll not be able to”

“What kind of logic is that?”

“You like anything that’s bitter as much as I like sweets so shut up” you shrugged as you pointed out but you totally get that he’s just looking out for you and you appreciate that.

“I atleast won’t get any chronic disease from it”, Yoongi retorted, chuckling at how silly this banter is to begin with and that reminded how adverse you two are and he’s not just talking about your taste preferences but personality wise too.

You and Yoongi are too different from each other - you’re more of an outgoing and friendly person while he is more reserved and quiet one. All his life, Yoongi thought he’d prefer someone who’s similar to him yet here he is, eating up his own thoughts as he eventually got you and he’s not saying that as a bad thing because he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your relationship is a living testimony that opposites do attract and it’s not as bad as what everyone makes it out to be though there were still a lot of differences and barriers you both have to overcome in the beginning of the relationship which he thinks is inevitable for every relationship to work.

The reason why you two get along so well is because you complement and balance each other, like how you both are able to strengthen each other’s weaker aspects. You’re always able to get him out of his comfort zone and he could always let you be vulnerable to him, let you out of that happy facade you’re always trying to keep up.

In conclusion, you bring out the best in him and he could hope you felt that way about him too, making you two a perfect pair, not even minding a bit how cheesy that thought is to him because it’s only a matter of fact.

“Why are you still here?” Yoongi sets aside the sirloin he’s been seasoning, getting distracted how you’re standing so close to him as you peer over his shoulders at what he’s doing much like a curious kid.

“What should i do next?” you asked him for the second time even though Yoongi told you that he’ll just call you whenever dinner’s ready but you’re so persistent in helping him out, causing him to gave in as he told you that you can set up the table which he think is done now that you’re pestering him again.

“Lounge in the sofa, i guess”

“But i want to help you, Yoongs” you whined, making him chuckle, “Should i peel these potatoes?”

“I’ll do it” Yoongi grabbed the potato from you as well as the bowl that’s filled with it, keeping it close to his side so that you won’t be able to touch it and help him like what you’re suggesting, keeping in mind that he’s doing all of this to make up for the times he’s away.

Guilt would always creep up on him whenever he’s far away from you because you don’t deserve to be neglected like this, dating someone who’s mostly physically absent that’s why he’s doing the most of his ability as much as he can whenever comes back home so that he could actually fulfill the duties and responsibilities of being your boyfriend.

“Let me atleast wash the dishes later then?” you frowned with a pout, causing Yoongi to shake his head at you as he sheepishly smiled.

“Fine if that’ll get you to stop” Yoongi kissed your forehead before he diverted back his attention towards the potatoes but before he could even do so, you grabbed both sides of his face as you inched towards him until he felt your warm lips on his.

Yoongi closed his eyes as he kissed you back, hands almost going towards your waist to reel you in once you kissed him fervently until he remembered how his hands are still dirty and covered with sauce and seasonings for the steak but that didn’t stop him from wanting to deepen the kiss as he slowly tilted his head to the side only for you to break the kiss.

“Right, you don’t need my help” you teased as you peck him once more and also patted his bum right before you left to disappear towards the living room.

Yoongi scoffed that you got him stunned for a moment but nonetheless busied himself as he went back in preparing the dinner that didn’t take too much time to finally get it ready now that you’re not there to bother him anymore.

Withdrawing a plate from your cabinet, Yoongi then began to place the mashed potato first whilst he set the steak beside it, dripping some sauce around it as he tried to recreate those plating presentations that’s normally seen in high end restaurants.

Yoongi grinned as soon as he entered the dining area, catching the sight of how you set the table into some sort of a candlelit dinner that’s accompanied with pieces of nearly wilted rose petals which he suspected came from the bouquet he bought for you last week but it now surrounds the four sides of the table.

“Y/N! Dinner’s ready” Yoongi called out as he placed the plates on the table. It didn’t take less than five seconds before you emerged in the dining room with a delighted look adorning your face.

“Oh wow it smells really good” you enclosed Yoongi in a back hug as you tipped your toes to kiss him on the cheek, “Thank you, baby.”

Yoongi hummed as he pulled your chair back, guiding you to sit before he made his way to his place as the gentleman he is. Picking up the bottle of wine, uncorking it as he poured it over his glass and onto yours right after but he let the mouth of the bottle hover on the rim of your glass before letting it pour as he looked at you.

“You sure you’d like some wine?”

“It’s fine”

“If you say so” Yoongi smirked, filling your glass up even though he knows full well that you’re only going to take a sip or two before giving it all up. Clinking both of your glasses, Yoongi watches you whilst he takes a sip of his wine only for him to chuckle after he has seen you scrunching your nose from the bitter taste.

“It tastes better with this” Yoongi said as he cut up a portion of his steak to feed you with it. The dissatisfied look on your face now gone as the bitterness mixed with the savory taste only made the flavor stronger.

“Your brother told me he taught you how to cook one”

“Yeah, how’d you know that?” Yoongi tried to rack his brain, recalling if he had ever informed you that his brother is the one who taught him to master the art of cooking but he can’t remember telling you that, knowing how he likes to take credit in his cooking skills.

“Your mom invited me over to their house on my birthday and your brother took in charge of cooking the food. I’ve sent you pictures, remember?”

You took out your phone to went over your photo gallery, scrolling over the pictures until it landed over the series of photos you took on the day of your birthday, showing Yoongi a picture of you and Holly nicely cuddled up in the sofa, earning a warm smile from him and on the corner of the picture he spotted the bouquet of tulips he assumes is the one he arranged in advance right by the local flower shop near you, instructing them to deliver it on your doorstep with some note he had written himself.

Lastly, you showed him the selfie you’ve taken on the dining table that’s filled with a sumptuous meal along with his whole family gathering around - his mom, dad, older brother and Holly whom his brother carried in his arms to fit in the picture.

“I’m glad you had fun” Yoongi gave you a faint smile as he felt his guilt creeping up on him once again.

It has been two months since he had dearly missed your birthday because of the tour and he felt bad for missing out on a special day like this but that’s how it’s always going to be and he hates how this is conceived to be normal in your relationship when it’s unfair, specially for you.

You must’ve noticed his mood faltering a bit as you’ve put your phone down the table, placing your hand on top of him to squeeze it, making him stop focusing on slicing over his steak as he directed his eyes at you to give you a warm smile that indicates not to worry about him.

“I think the tour must’ve been a whole lot of fun, no? How was it this time?” you said, sipping on your wine that had you still scrunching your nose though albeit less noticeable now as you get more accustomed to the taste.

“It’s still great but more than ever now that we get to see more of our fans” Yoongi beamed a smile, taking pride how their hard work and the support from their fans has taken them to where they are now like how they were able to do stadium tours around the world or how they’re able to play concerts in places they’ve never imagine which is something beyond their goal and expectations.

“I’m proud of all of you and will always be, how about we toast on that?” you raise your glass as you take a big gulp of the alcohol out of courage which is a totally bad idea as it had made you immediately regret it, coughing up the bitterness away, causing you to give up the drink all in all.

“Just grab your grape juice from the fridge” Yoongi suggested, chuckling when you stood up to go over the kitchen to do as told and guessed right that you’ll never be able to withstand the alcohol.

The dinner went on with Yoongi urging you to talk more about what you’ve been doing lately but you protested that it has been practically boring and uneventful like his which he interjected that it goes the same for him as well. Apart from performing, he spent most of his time holed up in his hotel room to produce and compose songs or sleep like you’ve never known this or how he’ll just go out to buy some music equipment he needs for his studio.

He’s pretty sure you’ve told him over the phone the story of how you’ve managed to step on a puddle that reached up to your shins on your way home from work, remembering how you’ve complained that it ruined your favorite pair of suede flats.

“Have i told you about this before?” you said, noticing how he continues to smile unfazed like he’s already familiar with this story.

“Yeah but go on” Yoongi assured you that he doesn’t mind at all if he’s heard it before. Nothing compares to all those facetimes and phone calls because this is what he truly missed - getting to talk to you in person with no distance and time difference in between you two.

Soon as you know it, the table looks almost empty now that all the food are completely gone except for Yoongi’s wine glass that’s still filled with the alcohol as he still continuously drink from it while you opted to go for dessert and eat the cookies ‘n cream ice cream flavored you’ve got in the grocery.

The conversation’s still pretty going at this point with you doing most of the talking as you relaxly laid back against the chair with your crossed legs and Yoongi would just stare at you as he rested his elbow against the table with his cheeks pressed against his palm, casually laughing or putting in a few words.

“Tired?” you asked once you noticed his half lidded eyes and how he’s blinking them ever so slowly.

“No, i’m just a bit buzzed i guess” Yoongi denied as he tried to fight off the exhaustion but you did not buy his excuse as you abandoned your pint of ice cream by placing it on the table to stand up and get the plates to put them towards the sink.

Yoongi tailed behind you as he got the pint of ice cream to put them back in the freezer and the wine glasses which you got off of his hand as soon as he was next to you.

“I got this, why don’t you go up and pick something to watch”

“I’m not tired” you laughed now that Yoongi’s cute side is starting to come out as he placed his head on your shoulders with his arms around yours whilst you opened the faucet to run down water over the kitchenwares.

“Just go and let me do this” you turned around to push him away from you with all your might though it’s useless as he stubbornly stood his ground but nonetheless let you guide him when you grabbed his hand and led him towards the end of the stairs.

Standing on the first step, Yoongi leaned down to leave a kiss on top of your head that had you giggling whilst he told you to hurry up before he ascended to leave you to do your task. You ran back to the kitchen as you cleaned up the place as quickly as possible but still making sure not to miss a spot.

You wiped your wet hands with a towel now that you’re done with the dishes which leaves you to your routine of checking every corner of the first floor - unplugging the appliances, getting your water container in the fridge, and securely double checking the locks.

As you went up and open the door to your room, you were immediately greeted with a dimly lit light setting thanks to the television and on the edge of your bed, you see Yoongi clad in a loose white shirt and gray shorts that has been kept in your closet for times he chooses to stay over in your place as he drys his hair with the towel on his hands, signifying that he had just gotten out fresh from the shower.

“What are we going to watch?” you asked as you stood in front of Yoongi to grab the towel from his hand so that you could do the work of drying his hair instead.

“What do you want? I haven’t seen anything that’s interesting yet” Yoongi grabbed your waist to set you aside so he could have a good view of the television as he clicked on the remote to scan the films but still remained his hand on your waist even though you’re not obstructing the view anymore.

“Well, you decide. I’ll join you in a second” you detach yourself from Yoongi’s hold as you go over to your closet to grab some comfortable clothes to change into. You let the damp towel dry as you hang it on your chair before you could enter your bathroom to take a quick shower.

With his hair damp and unruly, Yoongi got up to go over your vanity table where your hair comb is as he drag it along his hair until he noticed the corkboard hanging on your wall just beside the table which he has never seen before, guessing you might’ve put it up while he was away.

It was filled with polaroid pictures of the both of you but mostly of Yoongi and he looked unaware in mostly all of it as you like to candidly take pictures of him but there are also random things attached to it like movie tickets, flower petals, and other things you deemed sentimental but what catches his attention the most is the tissue with some scribbled words on it.

It was a tissue from Baskin Robbins and it has a badly drawn stick figure on it with a text bubble on the side - ‘It’ll be okay’ is what’s written on it. The smudged black ink giving away that it has been sometime ago - two years ago to be precise.

If he remembers it right, he had drawn this when he picked you up from work that time and you remained silent for the whole ride, reasoning that it’s just one of those bad days at work.

It was also a time when you still find it hard to be vulnerable around him given how the both of you just started dating and that just gave him an idea to go to an ice cream store first on the way to your house, knowing how sweets could always lift your spirits up.

You both got settled inside the car once you got your ice cream and finally be on your way to your house which is something you’ve been dying to do ever since you got from work. Yoongi’s clearly concerned for you but you’re glad he’s not pushing you to say anything but at the same time you felt bad for being silent for the whole time, not wanting to pass the burden you’re feeling.

“Here, have some tissue with you” Yoongi handed it over to you as he got the car out of the parking area until he felt your hand on top of his.

“Thank you, Yoongi” you said with glassy eyes and he’s glad that it’s what took for you to confide in him and for you to start trusting him enough that you managed to show the weak side you’re trying to conceal from him at the start.

Yoongi removed his hand from the tissue at the sound of the bathroom door opening as you came out with a towel wrapped around your hands, dressed in one of those short sleeved top and bottom silk pajama sets he got for you back when he was in Japan.

“I didn’t know you kept this”, Yoongi said with a smile tugging on his face.

You discarded your clothes towards the hamper as you came closer to Yoongi to see that he’s pertaining about the board you’ve recently hung, making you flushed at how he’s not supposed to even see how you keep every piece of something that just reminds you of your time with Yoongi but it’s just the way you are with how those pieces serves as a token of your memory.

“Yeah, I know it’s weird” you said as you look over the board and spot the receipt from the restaurant you both have your first date, embarrassed even more as you sit on the chair to remove the towel from your head as you focus instead on keeping it dry.

“It’s not weird, baby”

Yoongi enjoys making you fluster as much as you like doing it to him too that’s why he’s taken this as an opportunity to tease you more. He took the towel from your hand as he gently blotted and squeezed it against your hair much like what you did to him awhile ago, setting aside the hair you purposely let down to cover your face to the side and place it behind your ear.

“Ow be gentle, let me do it” you complained when Yoongi yanked your hair a bit as he combed through the tangles.

“Sorry, let me just take care of you” Yoongi swatted your hand away but his sweet words got you giggling and also a blushing mess.

As soon as your hair got fully combed, you stood up as Yoongi grabbed your wrist to drag you with him on the bed. He first got himself settled as he sat down with his back pressed against your headboard whilst he pulled you in to let you sit in between his legs, encircling his arms around you as you laid the back of your head on his chest.

“I really can’t find anything fun to watch, why don’t you choose?”

Getting the remote on the nightstand, you scan through the wide variety of movies as you read the plot and watch each trailer but nothing piqued your interest much as what Yoongi told you, sighing in discontentment as you turn off the television.

“Do you want to listen to some music instead?” you suggested, looking up to see Yoongi nod in agreement. You turned on the bluetooth speaker as you paired it with your phone, searching for some songs to play until you just thought of an idea that had you stifling your laughter.

“Ah why play this one?”

Yoongi’s proud of his recently released mixtape but you had him cringing upon hearing Daechwita play which is the least thing he’s expecting for you to choose. His mixtape just doesn’t fit the mood right now, he’s thinking you’ll be playing those mellow songs you could easily sleep and cuddle into which is something he feels like doing tonight.

“Why? It’s your song” you chuckled even though you can’t clearly see Yoongi’s reaction right now but you just know he’s scrunching his face, “Fine, i’ll change it.”

You chose another mixtape to play and that is Honne’s No Song Without You. Pressing shuffle, the track By My Side instantly played that got you smiling as you remember how you thought of Yoongi when you first heard this song. Actually, all love songs remind you of Yoongi if that isn’t cheesy enough.

Humming along to the song, you grabbed Yoongi’s hand to face his palm towards you as you set your palm against his just to compare how small your hand is compared to him. You decided to trace along the lines with your fingers as you write down the letters of the word that perfectly describes what Yoongi is to you - Home.

“Are you going to do some palm reading and tell me about my future?”

“Hmm your future’s still pretty bleak but there’s one thing that’s clear”

“And what is it?”

“I’m in it” you said that had you giggling which also caused Yoongi to do the same.

“Of course you are”, Yoongi hugged you tighter, swaying the both of you side to side as he kissed your cheek.

You twisted your body to the side so that you’ll be able to put your arms around his neck, the side of your face still remaining on his chest whilst you closed your eyes as you get even more comfortable in this position until you’ve thought of a better idea to make it more comfortable or rather relaxing for Yoongi.

“Lay down on your stomach” you commanded, sitting up straight that made Yoongi’s hold loosen around you.

“Why?”

“Let me take care of you” you repeated the words he told you, sitting yourself on the other side of the bed as you watched Yoongi plopped the side of his head on the pillow where he also kept his arms under. You then straddled his waist after he got himself settled, pressing both of your palms on his shoulder blades, massaging it gently to untie the knots.

Ever since Yoongi got back from tour, he did as much to be with you and to literally take care of you which didn’t go unnoticed - he helped you in assembling your bookshelf that you never bothered to open or how he even changed one of the bulbs from your chandelier that you didn’t notice had burnt out already.

“Your muscles are a bit tense” you said as you dug the heel of your palm to apply more pressure to his shoulder that had Yoongi humming in pleasure, “Have you even rested properly ever since you got back?”

“I’m okay” you sighed, grabbing his shoulders as you instructed him to turn around so that he could face you but you remained to be straddling him still.

“Yoongi, you’re almost with me everyday and i know that you’re still working on some songs”

The least thing he wants right now is to make you worry about him because he’s the one that should be worrying about you when you’re always the one that’s being left behind here and no, he’s not actually worried but scared that it might literally happen with the two of you growing apart that one day you’ll wake up and suddenly feel the whole long distance thing to be overwhelming and unbearable.

“I just feel guilty for leaving you here and i also want to make the most out of the days i have left with you” Yoongi finally confessed as he sat himself up to be closer to you, hands on your waist as he drew circles on your exposed skin where your shirt rose up before his other hand made way to the side of your face to reel you in for a kiss.

Yoongi bit your lower lip, causing you to slightly open your mouth which he took as a sign for him to slid in his tongue to clash it with yours, making sure to kiss you gently and passionately as he could as he pour his raw feelings into it, wanting to savour the moment slowly rather than taking it in a rush.

The kiss was nothing but pure longing for each other - longing for all the times you’ve missed and for the time he’ll leave again which will be in three days to continue the Asian leg tour. It isn’t also a bad thing because when he comes to think of it, it’s the last part of the tour but that still isn’t an excuse to make Yoongi feel guilty again as he’ll be gone in a span of three months.

It was clear that your kiss is getting more eager as you play with the hair on the nape of his neck, pulling him in close as much as possible when you wrapped your legs around his waist whilst your other hand has made its way under his shirt, resting it above his chest where you can feel his heart that’s beating erratically.

You’re making it hard for Yoongi to take this slow reason why he detached his lips from yours, chuckling when he heard you emit a disappointed grunt but not for long when his warm lips then invaded the base of your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses as he work his way up to your jaw, pecking the side near your ear as he whispered.

“I’ve missed you”

He was about to kiss your cheek until you pulled him in by his shoulders, snuggling your face into the crook of his neck that had him quite puzzled at the sudden action but nonetheless let you do so as the both of you stayed like that for a while - you sitting on his lap with your legs around his waist and your arms securely around his neck, head still hiding from him while he rubbed your back and gently caressed your hair.

The warmth of your bodies and gentle touches against each other are exchanged between the two of you, not minding how you’re just basking in the silence as you solely focus on enjoying each other’s presence with the music making everything seem so melodramatic and it was just one of those moments you’d call to be bittersweet.

The silence between you two was soon gone as he heard you sniffling, alarming him even more when he felt hot tears falling onto his neck. Yoongi tried to pry you away as he leaned back to get a proper look at you but that just made you tighten your arms around him, burying your face even more into his neck.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, chuckling a bit to mask the reason why you’ve suddenly gotten so upset, “It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure about that?” Yoongi asked as he laid back down the mattress, joining you with him.

“I'm sorry, it’s just that i still can’t get quite used to it” your voice was muffled but he perfectly heard you and catched on that you’re referring to him leaving so soon again. Finally, he was able to see your face as you adjusted yourself, wiping the tears as you pressed one of your hands on his chest where you rested the side of your face onto.

“You don’t have to be sorry about it” Yoongi comforted you as he gently ran his thumbs along your cheek, “I should be the one saying sorry to you.”

“Yoongs, you don’t have to be sorry about it too” you leaned in towards his touch as you rested your hand on top of his that’s cradling your face, earning Yoongi a smile.

“I know our relationship is far from normal and it’s sometimes hard for the both of us but I just want to assure you that the distance wouldn’t keep us apart. I won’t leave you because you’re my home and my safe space, Yoongi.”

It’s a rare sight to see Yoongi get emotional but here he is tearing up at your words and how you instantly eliminate the doubts and guilt he has been carrying with himself. Yoongi chuckled as he covered his eyes with his arm, making you laugh too with tears welling up your eyes at the sight of Yoongi crying as the emotionally sensitive person you are.

Turning to the side, Yoongi set you to lay beside him as you both completely faced each other, fondly staring at you whilst he thread his fingers in your hair that had you closing your eyes. Your left hand in between you two caught his attention, fingers immediately landing on your palm as he wrote down the word you’ve written on his.

Yoongi looked up at you as soon as you enclosed your hand around his, watching how your eyes are still close but a small smile is now adorning your face. He scooted closer until your foreheads touched, closing his eyes as well but before he could drift off to sleep, he dearly whispered the words to express the same sentiment.

“You’re my home and I'll always come back for you.”

A/N: The tissue with scribbled words was based on irl and it just gets me soft everytime, reason why i had to write it down hehe. Anyways, hope you like this one and if you like, you could give me feedback about it hehe.

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eastertag · 3 years

Text

Phoenix

@janetm74 gift for @katblu42

the prompts: 1) Lee Taylor, 2) rising like a phoenix and 3) a bird with a broken wing, preferably a Thunderbird.

‘Uncle Lee, Uncle Lee!’ the twins shouted, rushing up to him and throwing themselves around his legs. He bent and scooped them up as their parents followed them at a more sedate pace, bemused smiles on their faces.

‘Tina, Vincent,’ Lee said, inclining his head to them as they all made their way back into the house, and the grins broadened. Some things would never change. As Lee sat down, one child on each knee, Kayo disappeared to get supper ready while Virgil entertained their guest.

Or rather, while their guest entertained them.

Lucy Ruth and Grant Jefferson Tracy loved their Uncle Lee. Even if he couldn’t get their names, or their parents’ names right, he told the best stories. They didn’t get to see him as often as they would like, but every time he visited the island he made sure to spend some time with them.

Virgil came over and held his arms out for one of his children. ‘Come on, bed time,’ he said, taking Grant as Lee stood up with Lucy. This was often the highlight of his visit, and Lee wouldn’t swap this opportunity for anything.

Putting the youngsters to bed, Virgil and Lee exchanged glances, waiting for the inevitable request, and Grant didn’t fail to deliver. ‘Story, Uncle Lee! Story!’ he clamoured, his sister joining in. Lee grinned. ‘Which one do you want to hear?’ The children shared a glance, then squealed together: ‘The phoenix! Tell us about the phoenix!’

Lee chuckled. He’d lost count of how often they requested this one and he sat in the chair between the two beds while Virgil disappeared to assist his wife in the kitchen, safe in the knowledge that his two would be well looked after.

‘Well, Lana and Gerry, have you ever seen a phoenix?’ he started, and as usual both children nodded and pointed at him. He rolled his right sleeve up to reveal the faded tattoo. The phoenix, rising from the flames and ashes, screaming defiance to the sky. ‘That’s right. I got this after a particularly difficult rescue…

‘Damn it, Lee, that was too close!’ Jeff yelled, pulling Thunderbird Two up and away sharply. The corresponding swearing told him that Lee was alright, if a bit shaken. The voice of his eldest came over the comms: ‘careful, Uncle Lee. We don’t want those roughneckers thinking you’re one of them rather than one of us rescuers!’ Jeff chuckled as Lee retorted rather sharply, ‘careful yourself, Spencer, we wouldn’t want you to…’ whatever he was saying was cut off by another explosion on the rig.

Ribbing would have to wait, and both Lee and Virgil got the rescue platform ready for its’ last run, while Jeff used Two and Scott used One to stabilise the platform enough to get the last lot of workers off. John confirmed from Five that all emergency protocols had been initiated, and that capping the well now only required the special missile Brains had put together.

Scott fired the missile once the rescue platform was safely away in Two, and both ’birds headed back to the mainland. Two dropped off the workers at the hospital and they headed back home, Virgil flying and his dad co-piloting him.

Not long after the four men could be found relaxing by the pool. International Rescue was still very new, that rescue had counted as their last single digit. Nine rescues in eight weeks. Sure they had started slowly, but as news spread about the organisation rescues were picking up. With all three of his eldest on board since the start, having had some background training in their respective fields beforehand, Virgil was now starting to go out and put his engineering skills to use. Jeff had made it very clear to his son that Two was his, but he needed some more training on the rescuing side before his dad would hand over control completely.

That was why Lee was here. Jeff and Scott may be pilots, but Lee was the engineer, as was Virgil, and Jeff had thought that his old friend and fellow astronaut would be ideal to help Virgil learn how to assess and react on the fly, as it were. Scott was an excellent commander, and could make snap decisions that were 99.9% right, but he wasn’t an engineer, and some of the decisions involving structural integrity and stability Virgil already knew how to call. It was what would make Scott and Virgil such a brilliant team – their respective skills complemented each other perfectly, they just needed honing.

Lee spent the next couple of days going over simulations with both boys, drills being run again and again until the two worked as one and they ‘won’ every time. They were fast studies, and Lee was more than happy at the way ‘Vincent’ picked up making decisions quickly, and his confidence at telling ‘Spencer’ when he was wrong or needed to take account of a variable.

He was preparing to return to Alpha Moon Base in two days. They spent his penultimate night with a barbeque, retelling how their dad and Lee had made the Mars landing, how Lee had needed to engineer a solution within seconds while Jeff was fighting to pilot the craft, how they barely made it. Sure, with every telling Lee embellished some part or other, but the overall story was not lost on Scott and Virgil. Always be aware of what you can use around you, think on your feet, Never Give Up.

The next morning all four were torn from their sleep by the emergency klaxon. 2:30 am was not a time any of them were used to getting up, but the ability to jump out of bed, dress and present oneself to the lounge for briefing Virgil was gradually getting used to. Scott never had a problem with this, his military training more than enough to prepare for this. John also didn’t have an issue with his NASA background.

It was, so far, their third early morning call. Getting into the lounge last was not unusual, but at least he was awake. Scott passed him a coffee that he seemed to magic from nowhere, and he gratefully sipped the scalding drink while John filled them all in.

A mine collapse in England with several workers trapped. However, the good news was that they had had notice, so the majority of workers had been able to get away. Scott was dispatched immediately, while Brains, Lee and Virgil poured over the plans of the mine and surrounding areas, checking geology and if there was going to be any surprises. The only thing they worried about was that there were several ventilation shafts dug out over the larger area, which was a forest, and the possibility of an explosion of the gases that naturally built up was quite high. With that knowledge in mind, Two set off with the Mole, Jeff piloting and Virgil co-piloting.

It took Scott no time at all to reach the mine, and his report confirmed everything that they had already known and prepared for. As he set about organising what he could on the ground, Virgil and Lee went over the geology again, mulling over potential issues and discussing contingency measures. Jeff listened in, his confidence and pride in how quickly his son had assimilated to his role growing.

Lee and Virgil took the mole down, and it was a textbook rescue. Five miners, minor injuries only, it took around an hour to get them all loaded on the mole. The injured were loaded onto the waiting ambulances and International Rescue were thanked profusely. As they cleared away the equipment and loaded everything, Jeff looked at Lee and he nodded. It was time. As the four returned to the ’birds, Virgil was surprised when his dad walked past Two and carried on to One with Scott. Scott glanced back at his brother, grinning madly, and gave him a thumbs-up.

‘Dad?’ called Virgil after them, uncertain despite his brother’s obvious glee. Jeff turned around and came over to his middle son, placing his hands on his son’s shoulders. ‘Virgil, you performed really well on this rescue, both Lee and Brains said you made the recommendations yourself, you decided where to drill, you looked out the potential danger sites. You’ve more than earnt the right to fly your ’bird home without your old man standing over your shoulder.’ He thumbed over his shoulder to a waiting Scott, ‘that’s your brother’s privilege today.’ Scott mock-scowled, but he really couldn’t keep the grin off his face, and neither could anyone else.

One shot off into the distance. Virgil knew his brother would be waiting for him, but for the moment One was out of sight, and Lee huffed something about ‘show-off flyboys’ and ‘like father like son.’ Virgil just grinned. They were all flyboys really, well, except possibly Gordon but even he could fly competently (not that their eldest brother would ever admit that), only Scott seemed to have inherited their father’s love of speed so far. Alan may have, but he was too young to earn his wings yet.

Two rose more slowly – majestically was the phrase Virgil preferred, thank you very much – but she had her own turn of speed. The take-off may not be as impressive as her sister but compared to other aircraft his girl was fantastic. Using her VTOL’s to gain enough lift to engage her main engine, both Virgil and Lee kept an eye on the forest around them so they didn’t set fire to any trees. Trying to ensure he didn’t, Virgil nudged Two forward as she rose.

They hadn’t got far into the air when Lee suddenly shouted. But whatever he was shouting about was lost in the roar of an explosion that rocked Two violently, catching her back and left side, causing her to spin out of control.

Lee came too with several voices yelling for him and Vincent, er…Virgil. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but at the moment his concentration was all on shutting the voices up to stop his head from hurting. Oh, yeah. He needed to open his eyes to do that, and boy was that a mistake. Bright light assaulted him, followed closely by the smell of burning…he knew that smell, it was familiar to him. The smell of burning electrics!

It was the jolt he needed to get himself moving. Unbuckling his belt, he quickly checked himself over, nope, no injuries other than the cracked head and possible whiplash. He wiped the blood off his forehead while he stood up.

Second big mistake. He immediately doubled over and vomited. Ok, make that cracked head, possible whiplash and a concussion. But there was something more important he needed to do. The shouting was still shrill in his head and ear, but he ignored it, hauling himself over to check on Vinc…Virgil. The young man was out cold, a similar gash to his head.

It was the fire all around them that worried him. There was an extinguisher – Brains ever the overcautious, but this was extensive and he knew he needed to get them both out of there quicker than treating the flames would allow for. But as he tried the upper exit the resultant failure to open was no surprise. They would need to get out of the cockpit and the side door.

One of the advantages of being ‘space-trained’, as Lee often termed it, was that it taught you to think on the fly and to use whatever was to hand. And what was on hand, just outside the cockpit, was a prototype suit Brains was in the middle of designing for Virgil, to assist with heavy lifting. At the moment the bare bones were there, and it would be the best thing to use. Even if opening the door was easy, they would be surrounded by debris.

Good job he was strong, Lee reflected, hoisting Jeff’s middle boy into a fireman’s carry. This boy was heavy! He staggered out of the cockpit and into the service way, stopping before the entrance to the pod. The exosuit was housed here, a small area set aside for her, and Lee was thankful that he and Vincent were the same height as he carefully laid the lad down and got into the suit.

As with everything Brains created, the suit adjusted to fit him, and Lee marvelled at the engineering behind it. With a whirl of gears and pistons lee was moving, Vinny over his shoulder, over to the doorway. Thankfully this one slid open easily, Cahelium being so very tough, but outside the ’bird the forest was ablaze.

No sooner had Two got caught up in the fireball, Five had notified One, and a horrified pair of rescuers turned around and raced back in time to see her crash. Training taking over familial responsibilities, they set about using One’s cannon to blast the rapidly spreading fire. Jeff knew that One didn’t carry enough to douse this and directed John to call the local fire services. Scott set One down some distance away, both men inwardly seething at the distance needed because of the fire.

Their priority was to get Lee and Virgil out, so donning their fireproof suits Jeff grabbed two spare oxygen tanks while Scott grabbed extra fire extinguishing tanks, and the two set off while John constantly called to the downed men.

As Jeff and Scott burst through the forest they were met by an astonishing sight. Lee Taylor, resplendent in the exosuit prototype, Virgil over his shoulder, both bathed in the flames around them. The exosuit, still unpainted in this testing phase, shone reds and yellows. They appeared almost in slow motion.

Later, later Scott would mention how like the phoenix Lee looked appearing so suddenly. But right now, all their attention was focused on rescuing Lee and Virgil and putting out the fire.

…and once your Uncle Scott mentioned the Phoenix, that was it. Of course, that was the seed sown, but I didn’t get the tattoo straight away. Returning to Alphie was next on the cards, and it wasn’t until several years later, when your Grandpa Jeff was missing. When your Uncles Spencer and Alvin came to rescue me and Alphie was destroyed I felt that my life as an astronaut was over. Then Spencer gave me another chance when we went to Mars.

When Tina, your mom, came and found me I felt that I was given a second chance at life at my age, and I remembered Spencer remarking about the phoenix and I thought “that’s me, that’s my life.” Your uncles gave me my life back, a second life just like the phoenix. Then they went and rescued your Grandpa, and my third life began, teaching the next generation of Mars settlers.’

By the time Lee had finished both children were asleep, and Virgil and Kayo were wrapped around each other in the doorway. Hearing how their weird Uncle Lee saved their dad’s life never failed to fascinate the pair, and they loved the tattoo. Virgil had been honoured when he’d been asked to design it.

The three adults retired to the living room to reminisce.

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2004 #thunderbirds 1965 #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #Scott Tracy #Gordon Tracy #John Tracy #alan tracy #lee taylor #jeff tracy #submission

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smollestnerd · 3 years

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XigXem SFW Headcanons

I love doing these to get ideas for headcanons I wouldn’t normally consider, and since I finished filling these out today I thought I’d share! Borrowed from the @otp-imagines-cult post here!

(Just a heads-up, this is a messy mashup of canon-compliant and modern au headcanons)

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Xemnas spends so much money on Xigbar. He doesn't even try to say no at this point, he knows Xig will get his way.

Xigbar sometimes feels guilty about how much Xemnas spends on him, but those feelings fade as soon as Xem comes back from shopping with bags full of gifts for Xig.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Xigbar sleeps in Xemnas’s lap. It's rare that it's the other way around, usually only if Xem is extremely tired or upset (he'll fall asleep while being comforted and held of course).

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

They both do. Well, Xigbar runs around HALF naked, Xemnas is just full frontal at any given point if they’re home alone. Xig will tell him to cover up, but he doesn't ever mean it.

When they have guests, Xigbar is fully clothed 100% of the time. Xemnas, though? There’s always at least a 10% chance he’ll forget wearing a shirt is a thing people expect from him. Everyone is either too afraid or horny to tell him to put one on, thus the responsibility falls on Xigbar to tell him. (Again, about a 10% chance he’ll “forget” to tell him to put on a shirt.)

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

Bold of you to assume they both don't have 11pm bedtimes.

But every so often Xemnas will lose himself in his work and suddenly it's 3am.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

Xigbar is forbidden from cooking anything that isn't microwaveable.

Xemnas's fallback career was fancy chef if “Superior of the In-Between” didn’t work out.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

Neither, but only because neither of them are very online. I think if they were though, Xemnas would see their relationship in everything but not say anything out loud. He just smiles to himself and moves on.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

Xigbar is an accomplished hoodie thief. Xemnas wears Xig’s croptops sometimes to work out in, but always returns them when he's done.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

Xemnas is usually the one running errands, but he rarely forgets anything on the list. Xigbar always asks if he remembered everything, though, just to soothe his own anxiety, and quietly hoping to catch Xemnas slipping up so he has something to tease about.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

Xigbar drives ever since Xemnas got his license suspended for running too many red lights.

Or; Xig drives like a maniac and Xem is just so used to it he doesn't even bother to insist on driving anymore (unless he's the designated driver, which usually he is). Xem is lowkey surprised Xig has a clean driving record.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

Xemnas poses, Xigbar draws. Xig’s had plenty of lifetimes to perfect his hobbies, and even though he hasn't had time for them in a while, it doesn't take long for him to get back into the swing of things. What better way to capture his lover's radiance than through charcoal drawings and oil paints?

Plus, Xemnas absolutely adores the attention. He just basks in the glory of another being finding him beautiful enough to immortalize on canvas.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

I want to say Xemnas is the super cool backflip guy and Xigbar is the one with the chips, but honestly? It's the other way around. Xig likes to show off in front of his man, and who could blame him?

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

Xemnas overdoes it. He doesn't drink nearly as often as Xigbar does, so he doesn't exactly know his limits. Xig tries to keep his eye on him and make sure he doesn't drink too much, but unfortunately Xem is REALLY good at acting sober, so Xig never realizes Xem has overdone it until its too late.

He takes really good care of Xemnas, though, no matter how drunk he is himself.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

Xemnas and Xigbar both surprise each other quite often. Xigbar gives Xemnas little things like seashells and shiny baubles he finds on missions/outings that he thinks Xemnas will like for his office shelves. Xemnas sends Xigbar flowers when he senses Xig having a bad day, and buys him every new book that Xigbar expresses even a passing interest in.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

Xemnas. He's definitely the romantic here. He's got an Entire Notebook filled with different combinations of their names squashed together.

Xigbar is lowkey terrified of major commitment. He'd say yes if proposed to of course, but he'd never offer himself up like that.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

Xemnas saves it, Xigbar just squishes it. Neither are afraid but they have different approaches to dealing with bugs.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

On most cold days you can find Xigbar wearing a too-big leather coat and Xemnas in naught but a t-shirt or turtleneck.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

Ansem tried. He tried so hard. But he severely underestimated Xigbar’s resistance to intimidation tactics.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

Xemnas. He planned out a whole mega-elaborate date for the two of them, and confessed his love for Xigbar.

Xigbar: "Wait we weren't dating already??"

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

They would make fantastic fathers, they'd care about their kids so much. But christ alive that household would be chaotic as all fuck.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

Xemnas used to type with perfect grammar and spelling until he learned about text lingo. "It's more efficient, Xigbar, I am a busy man and don't have time to type everything out." It's a damn lie, though, he just thinks it's neat.

Hell will freeze over the day that Xemnas uses an emoji.

Xigbar relies on emojis and autocorrect and if it doesn't catch a typo or he sends the wrong emoji, “Oh well.”

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

The bully gets attacked by them.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

Xigbar is the pun king. Genuinely funny. “10/10 would hear again.” -Xemnas, probably

Xemnas tries sometimes, bless his soul. Xigbar just doesn't have it in him to tell him they're bad.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

To Xigbar's dismay, this has happened more than once. He's the dad that is against the pet but ends up loving it, and Xemnas just can't resist bringing home strays.

They have 2 big dogs, a little dog, and a cat, and have fostered a few puppies and old, sickly cats here and there.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

When Xemnas gets too drunk to stand, Xigbar will give him a piggyback ride, but he never tells him the next day. Xemnas is too prideful and would be very ashamed to hear of it. Plus, Xigbar kinda likes keeping those moments between them to himself; like a secret he’s keeping safe for a special occasion.

Xigbar will ask for piggyback rides all the time, and Xemnas is happy to indulge him.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

When Xemnas cheers for Xigbar, it's less overzealous and more normal cheering, it's just that Xemnas' voice is booming and carries over the rest of the crowd with ease.

(Don’t ask me what competitive activity Xigbar does, for I Do Not Know)

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

They both do. The main difference is that Xemnas focuses the camera on Xigbar, and Xigbar gets them both fully in the shot.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

Both of them would be willing to give the other a makeover, but neither of them have asked.

But! Xemnas does Xigbar’s makeup sometimes, and Xigbar has bought his own style of clothes for Xemnas on a few occasions, just to see what he’d look like.

(Unrelated sidenote: they have matching onesies with cat ears and a tail that Xigbar refuses to wear unless he has to, or unless Xem asks him while Xig is wasted)

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Before they moved in together, Xigbar refused to go inside Xemnas's house unless his husky was in the backyard. He got used to her over time, and now Xemnas sometimes comes home to them asleep cuddling on the couch.

Xemnas was never actually afraid of Xigbar's beloved corn snake, but he wasn't a fan either. He’d hold him, but he wasn’t thrilled about it.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Xemnas holds the umbrella, Xigbar holds the Xemnas

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

In a canon setting they’d go worldhopping for a week, but in a modern au they'd take trips every year to cities and small remote locations around the world.

They've never been properly camping though. Xemnas refuses.

Their first trip together was small, just to a little known beach on the west coast. They lounged on the beach most of the time, and every night they ate at a different food truck. The last night they were there Xemnas surprised Xigbar with reservations for the fanciest 5-star restaurant in the city.

Xigbar thought he took all the pictures until he was going through them after the trip, only to find over half the memory card filled with photos of himself that Xemnas took when he wasn't looking

#kingdom hearts #xemnas #xigbar #xigxem #xemxig #xemnas/xigbar #otp headcanons #my writing #headcanons #sfw

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writingwithadinosaur · 4 years

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“Under the Knife - Part 8

“Under the Knife” - Part 8

My Masterlist - Here

Story Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Hannibal Lecter x Reader, Will Graham x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2,700-ish

Key: Chunks of text in italics are (Y/N)’s thoughts. Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, Violence,

Summary: You are Will Graham’s sister who works with him at the FBI. When you get offered a job promotion, life starts to change. Some changes for the better; Some for the worst.

Author’s Note: This is my first Hannibal piece and I am proud of it. There aren’t too many stories for Hannibal, so I figured I would add to the collection.

This does take place in some happy medium where they are all alive and work together. Sort of a happier season 1 era.

This is beta-read by @theeactress, but please let me know if there is something that we missed or that we should look at again!

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

- DreaSaurusREX

Tag List: @fruitloopzzz @theeactress @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @sj-thefan @fuck-your-bad-vibes-dude @ntlmundy @a-person-unlabled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was the first day in awhile that you didn’t feel any intense pressure weighing down on your shoulders. You walked into your office, prepared to have another day of trying to figure out the puzzle that was the Virginia Scalpel. But as soon as you shut the door, you realized that you didn’t have to worry about that anymore. It was a strange relief that you hadn’t ever felt.

Although Jack’s tactical team still hadn’t caught Henry Urik yet and you were unsettled by him still being out there, you weren’t as scared as before. The killer that had been teasing you and that had named you one of his next victims now had a name.

Jack’s team had all of the information that you and Hannibal could give them. You also had an armed agent watching over you and Hannibal until Henry was caught.

All you had to worry about at the moment was your 1 o’clock lecture on the “stereotypes of gender roles and how they can affect the psyche of an individual,” and then you could take a half day and go take a nap at home. Well, that and your dinner with Hannibal tonight. But even then, you weren’t as worried about that as you were about Henry still being out there.

Your lecture went by quickly, even the students seemed to understand everything rather easily. Only a couple asked a few questions for clarification after your presentation. Even with those students stopping you, you got out a bit earlier than anticipated. Looking at your watch, you realized that Will was going to be leading a lecture soon.

I should probably talk to him. And I do really miss those dogs.

After stopping by your office to grab your bag and close up, you weaved through the familiar hallways to the nearest coffee machine, getting two cups, making one how you like and one for Will. With both cups securely in your hands, you found the lecture hall he was assigned to today. You softly walked in, seeing your brother completely entranced in something on his laptop. Before you made it all the way into the room, you cleared your throat in effort to grab his attention. It worked. As soon as he located where the noise was coming from and saw you, he stood up and walked around to the other side of the desk.

“(Y/N)! Hey! Wh-what uh… What’s up?” You knew he was trying to not seem nervous, but you could see through him. You took a few steps closer and offered him the coffee cup, not seeing the probably empty one already on his desk. You tried to make your voice as comforting as you could.

“I was passing by and decided to stop by to ask you something.”

“Is everything okay?” Will was hesitant but took the coffee, looking all over you for any sort of tells as to what is going on.

“As okay as they can be.” You shrugged, not feeling anything in particular, which only added to Will’s worry and confusion.

“What’s going on, (Y/N)?”

You pause, seeing the visible uncomfortableness and growing fear in Will’s features. You quickly try to find a way to calm him down while getting to the point of why you’re here.

“Do you think the dogs would mind their favorite aunt stopping by for a drink tonight?” You couldn’t help the small smile that crept across your face as a slightly bigger one formed on Will’s. You could hear the extra air he let out in his chuckle, an obvious sigh of relief.

“I think they would really like that.” His smile faltered a tad as he looked down to his hands. He spoke quieter, as if unsure how you would react. “I would really like that.”

As he looked back towards your face to see your reaction, you met him with a sincere and reassuring smile.

“Good. Me too.” Another huff of relief from Will. “I have dinner plans with Hannibal tonight. But I was hoping I could just drive over afterwards for a nightcap?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll have the good stuff ready and waiting for you.” Will took a breath in, trying his best to be careful with his words. “And, if that nightcap ends up turning into a few, you could crash at my place.”

Again, Will looked as if you were a powder keg about to explode if the wrong button was hit. You just closed the gap between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his torso, his finding their place around you.

Your brother was not fond of physical affection from a majority of people. But you were one of the very few that he not only tolerated, but sometimes felt a need for.

“I’ll pack an overnight bag just in case.” You pulled away and tapped your hand on his upper arm. “For now, I am going to go home and take a nap.

“Jack’s letting you go home early?” Will was genuinely surprised. Jack was never one for early dismissals.

“Well, considering I did finally find out the Virginia Scalpel’s real name last night and got all my work with that wrapped up, I think Crawford is a bit more lenient on what I do today.” You casually mention as you shrug.

“You did what?!” Will’s expression was one of shock and pride. A handful of students filed in behind you. A playful grin graced your face as you tapped his arm one more time before taking a couple of steps backwards.

“I’ll tell you all about it later tonight. I need to get ready for this assuredly anxiety-inducing dinner and you have a lecture to get through.” Will gave you a slightly annoyed look as you winked and walked away, talking over your shoulder. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”

You couldn’t see it, but Will just shook his head and let his smile linger a bit longer before turning his attention towards his class. As much as he worried about you during this case, he was very proud of his little sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you got back to your apartment, you tried to take a nap. Key word: tried. Your brain would not calm down enough for you to fall asleep for even a quick cat nap. The coffee that you got before meeting with Will probably didn’t help.

After tossing and turning for 30 minutes, you gave up and decided to make some tea and get some cleaning done around your place. You hadn’t been able to do laundry thanks to the case, so you finally started to chisel away at that pile.

Once you had put the last load in the dryer, you looked at the clock and saw that it was 5 o’clock. You had an hour before you were supposed to be at Hannibal’s. Might as well take my time and get ready.

After fussing with finding a comfortable but semi-formal outfit to match Hannibal’s aesthetic, you quickly packed a backpack with some overnight things. You were sure you’d end up talking to Will for longer than you both intend, meaning you’d either be too tipsy or too tired to drive home safely.

With the last of your laundry out of the machine and plopped onto your bed for you to put away later, you grabbed your keys and headed out the door. Preparing for anything to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As per usual, you pulled up to Hannibal’s five minutes early thanks to taking some backroads. You put the car in park and took the keys from the ignition, but you didn’t move. There was a tightening feeling in your chest. You tried to close your eyes for a moment and take some deep breaths.

Dinner won’t be bad. Hannibal is a trained psychologist. If anyone is going to be able to guide the conversation into a calmer place, it's gonna be him. Plus you know damn well that you miss spending time with him that isn’t plagued by confusion or the fuckin Virginia Scalpel. You two are adults. You can talk about literally anything and be okay.

So why am I still anxious?

Because you had your eyes closed, you didn’t see Hannibal approach your car. So when he opened your door, you instinctually jumped back and gasped.

“My apologies, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you alright?”

“No. It's fine. I’m fine. I was just taking a breather.” Hannibal nodded, sensing that you didn’t want to expand on this further. So instead he held out his hand.

“Shall we then? I have some salmon in the oven that is awaiting your judgment.” He let one of those small side smiles of his grace his face in an attempt to comfort you as you reached for his hand and he helped you out of your car, shutting the door behind you once you got your purse.

Unlike usual, Hannibal led you to the dining room as opposed to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for you. After you settled in, he poured you a cup of water and a glass of wine as he spoke.

“Everything is prepared, I just need to take the salmon out. I won’t be long.” You just thanked him and nodded as you took a sip of water.

Within a couple of minutes, Hannibal was walking in with two plates that looked just as artistic and beautiful as he normally presents. The main part was a rather large piece of salmon with thin lemon slices laid across the top, paired with a mix of halved grape tomatoes, white asparagus, and the same twirly romanesco broccoli that you had tried the last time you had dinner with Hannibal.

“This looks wonderful, Hannibal. Thank you.” You said as he sat down. The two of you started to eat, both of you trying to figure out how best to start the conversation that you knew was coming. Hannibal was the first to speak up.

“Are you planning on going somewhere?" You were caught off guard, not expecting this to be the starting point of your talk with him.

"What makes you say that?"

"I couldn’t help but notice the slightly overstuffed bag in your passenger seat. I assume it's for staying the night somewhere other than your own apartment. And while you’re always welcomed to stay here if you wanted, I don’t think you would without asking me first."

“Then you would be right. I wouldn’t impose on you like that.” You went to take a sip of your wine as you looked at Hannibal. He gave you a look that said that he knew there was more that you needed to share. “I talked to Will briefly today and we made plans for tonight. We are finally going to talk this all out. The bag is for in case I end up getting too tired and sleep on his couch."

Hannibal gave a slight nod before cutting off a piece of salmon and continuing the conversation.

“I'm sure Will is happy to finally have a moment to talk with you and share his side of the story."

“I'm sure he is.” You took a sip of your wine, bracing yourself for the unavoidable topic. “How about you, Hannibal?” Hannibal looked towards you and raised a curious brow. “What's your side of the story?”

Hannibal took a sip of water before turning his body slightly more towards you, giving you his full attention as he finally spoke on what he had been thinking about saying for days now.

“Will came to me rather distraught after you had said that you were going to accept Jack’s offer. It was my idea to insert myself into Crawford’s team as background support. And while my original intention for joining the Scalpel case was to ease Will’s mind, I couldn’t ignore my own reasons.” Hannibal reached a hand out and grabbed yours, you felt your cheeks warm at the unexpected contact. He was so gentle with you as he spoke sincerely.

“After seeing Will crack again and again under Crawford’s intense force on the handful of cases that they worked on, I was worried you would also be damaged under his leadership. I cannot deny that I do truly care about you and your wellbeing. And with this being your first time handling a major active case, I wanted to be there in case something were to happen to you.”

You weren’t sure what to say. Hannibal had not only told you that it wasn’t Will’s idea to have him follow you, but he admitted that he cared about you. The trouble was that you couldn’t tell if it was the type of caring that you had secretly longed for with a more romantic relationship with Hannibal or if it was similar to how your brother cares about you. You wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t fit together and be coherent enough for you to vocalize.

While you struggled to figure out how to respond, Hannibal lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of your hand softly before putting it down and reaching for his glass of wine, raising it in your direction.

“Here’s to you and your impressive mind. Without you, who knows how long it would have taken to find out the true identity of the infamous Virginia Scalpel.” You raise your glass and gently tap his, finally able to form a coherent thought again.

“I’m sure Crawford would have just asked for your help or maybe even Will’s if I hadn’t said yes. I got lucky with this one.” You took a sip of your wine, savoring the sweetness of it as you started to slice the fish on your plate. “Honestly, I don’t think I would have figured it out without you inadvertently helping me.”

“How so?” Hannibal questioned before taking a bite of salmon.

“When you came to check on me after the lab meeting, I went on to say something about being your friend and colleague but not your patient. And that’s when it hit me that we weren’t looking in the right demographic.”

There was a moment of silence as Hannibal thought about where to go from this information.

“And how do you feel now?” You finished the bite of food that you had and looked at your water cup, not wanting Hannibal to see into your eyes even though he was already watching you rather intensely. Trying to read all of the nonverbal indications you were giving.

“I feel okay. Well, as okay as I can be. That insane pressure of figuring out who the hell Henry Urik is was bigger than anything I’ve had to deal with since I started working with the FBI. But there is still the fact that Jack’s team still hasn't found him that has been really messing with me. That and the anxiety of finally having this talk with you and my brother.”

“I hope that some of that anxiety has worn away now that we have resolved things between us?”

“Some. But I can’t help but be worried until everything is settled.”

“You now know that protecting you was my intention when I joined the Scalpel case. I don’t intend for that promise to end with this case being closed.” Hannibal’s hand casually found yours again, making you focus even more on what he was saying (if it was even possible to focus more.)

“I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you feel safe and taken care of.”

His warm hand was instantly comforting and you hadn’t realized how much you craved physical affection from him, even in the smallest forms. Your heart swelled at his vow.

Before you could fully process what he had said, the click of a gun being armed and a very different voice demanded your attention from the other side of the room. A man with messy red-brown hair cocked and aimed a pistol right at you.

“I don’t know if you wanna make that promise so soon, doc.”

#hannibal #hannibal lecter #Hannibal TV #hannibal fanfiction #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal fandom #hannibal lecter / reader #will graham x reader #will graham #will graham / reader #will graham x sister!reader #Will Graham x Sibling!Reader #Sibling!Will Graham #Sibling!Will Graham x Reader

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kpop-cakepops · 4 years

Text

When The Party’s Over Pt. 2// JeonghanxFem Reader

SO Finally here. Second part of my Jeonghan au. Still hella angsty, but definitely like twice as long as the first part.

Warnings: drinking, cursing, one mention of a panic attack (nothing detailed, though)

Go read Part 1 if you haven’t!

Your heart fell to the darkest pits of your stomach as you remembered the way he had stared at you with his dark eyes looking like those of a deer caught in headlights while your silver necklace lay on the ground shining so bright under the sudden moonlight, it was almost like it was signaling to you that it needed you to pick it up, that you shouldn’t throw it away with all the years of friendship it had endured between you and Jeonghan…

Jeonghan.

It had been exactly 5 months since you had last seen him and yet you missed him like you had the very first day. You didn’t have enough fingers to count the amount of times you almost called him, the amount of times you almost walked to his apartment. However, Wonwoo, the friend you most trusted now had been right.

“I understand he’s the closest thing to family you had left, Y/N… but you have to understand that you’ve spent so much on him and gotten nothing in return.” Wonwoo had you fixed with his serious gaze as you tried to control the obnoxious sniffling. “How much longer is it going to go on? How many times will you let him step over you?”

“He’s not a bad person, you don’t understand him-”

“No. I don’t understand him, but I understand you, y/n. Sure, okay. Maybe he isn’t a bad person… but he’s a horrible fucking friend.” He snapped shutting you up. “I’m telling you this because I care about you, Y/N… let him be the one to come crawling back to you this time.”

You sighed as the memory dissipated leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. ‘Let him be the one to come crawling back to you this time.’ Jeonghan wasn’t the type of person to do that. He would never in a thousand years let his pride be trampled. Not for a woman, anyways.

“Hello?” Wonwoo waved his book in front of your face trying to get your attention back to what he was saying.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a bit there.” You chuckled.

The young man rolled his eyes feigning annoyance but continued, “the gig, Jihoon is gonna be performing for the first time at a rave. He says he’ll get us in free if we want to go.”

“Oh, yeah sure. That would be cool I guess… we can get him flowers” you smile softly taking a sip of your now lukewarm coffee earning yourself a disgusted grimace from your friend.

“It’s going to be a rave y/n, not a musical” he laughed.

“Whatever, just tell him I’m game. I need to get out of the house more.” You mumbled going back to the book you had been holding. Or at least, pretending you were reading again since all you were really doing was wondering if Jeonghan would show up to the gig.

“You still thinking about him?” Wonwoo broke the silence after a few moments.

“Who?” You asked not looking up from your book.

“You’ve been staring at the same page for the past 5 minutes” he noted slapping his book shut, “if you’re wondering if Jeonghan will be there, then yeah, more than likely, we do share the same friend group after all.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to meet him. I’m going to support DJ Woozi” the playful shrug of your shoulders seemed to help your friend relax.

“Are you sure you don’t care?” He asked with a small testing smile.

You reciprocated with one of your own and shook your head. “Nope. I’m totally fine.”

You weren’t fine.

You weren’t.

Initially, you had been prepared to face him, but after about 30 minutes of the first DJ’s set, you had given up. You were sure he wasn’t coming. You let your guard down. You should have known better. It was when your guard was down that Jeonghan always appeared.

At first you didn’t realize he’d arrived, you were too immersed in the atmosphere of the crowd around you. Your heart beating wildly as you screamed the lyrics of the song playing, your legs bouncing you up and down to the beat while Seokmin’s girlfriend followed suit. You had managed to make friends with her as soon as you got to the event. Chaeyeon, much like her boyfriend, was sweet and easy to get along with. That’s how you’d managed to distract yourself enough to not notice the way a certain set of dark eyes stared at the back of your head almost pleading you to look back, to notice them the way they always used to.

You did.

You noticed them when Dino, the youngest, yelled out for him as he tried his best to squeeze him through the crowd and to the cramped spot your group had managed to huddle into. “Jeonghan hyung!! You made it!”

You felt yourself stumble a bit causing Chaeyeon to look over at you, her smile fading slightly. “Everything okay?” She asked.

You took a peek over your shoulder to find the typical Jeonghan scene, everyone crowding around him, cheering because he’d arrived, but something was different. This time his pretty dark eyes were staring at you. You turned your attention away from him and to the song loudly playing in the venue. A small grin appeared on your lips as you locked eyes with her.

“Is this a new song?!” You called out over the music. “I like it!”

It was like that for a while. Both of you, mostly you, ignoring his existence while he stayed towards the back eyeing you every few moments, drinking every few moments, hoping to numb the ache in his chest… how could you be so unbothered after you walked away from him the way you did? How could you not turn around and hug him like you used to when you were upset at one another? When were you planning to come back?

“IT’S HIM. IT’S HIS TURN!” Yelled a highly intoxicated Soonyoung as he pointed above all the people in front of your group and hopped excitedly. “WOOZI!”

Everyone looked in the stage’s direction, Wonwoo shifting so he was now next to you. You looked up at him and noticed him trying to speak to you, however Jihoon had already started his set and the music was once again too loud to hear. You signaled to your ears and shook your head letting him know you couldn’t hear him. With a tiny shove a small smirk he leaned down toward you, “I asked if you’re okay. If you’re uncomfortable we can go”

You pressed your lips together wondering if it would really be worth it to leave. You end up shaking your head. Both you and Jeonghan were doing a decent job of ignoring each other and Jihoon’s set was scheduled to be only 15 minutes long, what could possibly happen if you stayed until the end of his set? A lot, it seemed like.

Once Jihoon met the rest of you, the group decided a celebratory second round at a bar would be the best and most fun option. Wonwoo, who had originally been your voice of reason, had now had one too many drinks and was whooping and hollering in agreement with the rest of your friends. Before you could fully understand what the plan was, everyone started moving as one towards the exit of the venue, earning yourselves and earful of cusses and shoves from the people that were still enjoying the show.

Being at the bar, however, was an experience. The table was full of friends and rowdy, everyone was drinking and having fun except you and Jeonghan. Both of you silent and sneaking glances at each other from across the table, except he was drinking. He was drinking a lot. A part of you wanted to make him stop, to drag him out of the bar before he could order more drinks for everyone.

You sighed unable to take much more of the tension and stood from your seat. “Everyone, I’m heading out first, I’m really tired. Jihoon, you did awesome tonight. Congratulations, please don’t forget me when you’re famous”

Everyone laughed and some looked at their watches. “Maybe we should call it a night, I have to work tomorrow” quipped Jun who was trying to hold a shitfaced Soonyoung up.

Everyone slowly started to file out of the bar hauling taxi’s one by one until, finally, it was just Wonwoo, his roomate Mingyu, Yourself and him. The four of you had drank, but only you seemed to not be intoxicated to the brim. “Y/N! I have to take Mingyu home, because he pees his pants” slurred your friend, following his words with a giggle.

“You guys are going to be the death of me” you grumble as you struggled to shove the 6 foot something men into the cab.

“Hyung that’s a secret!” Whined Mingyu as his top half fell onto Wonwoo’s lap.

The two idiots continued to ramble amongst themselves and you ignored them while you gave the driver their address and paid for the ride. You’d make sure to get that money transferred back by Wonwoo. “Please make sure they at least make it to the lobby safely” you asked the driver. He grumbled something under his breath before speeding off leaving you alone with the person you were most scared of facing.

You took a deep breath and turned around to find that Jeonghan was already drunkenly walking away from where you’d been only moments ago. A cab stopped before you and you looked at the driver before returning your sight to your ex friend who was still walking away. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…. sorry, can you give me a minute please? My friend is really drunk. I’ll be right back, please don’t leave!”

You didn’t give the driver a chance to talk before you broke into a sprint, the warm summer air making your hair whip against your face. You didn’t even realize when you grabbed his arm, but he was suddenly facing you, eyes glazed and cheeks red from his alcohol intake. “Let’s go” you managed and dragged him back towards the waiting Taxi.

He was silent.

It made you uncomfortable that he was that silent, especially while drunk. “I heard you moved. Where is your new place?” You asked.

“I don’t want to go to my place” the first words you heard him say in 5 months. The way your heart clenched at the sound of his voice had not changed one bit. Your eyes squeezed shut and you tried again.

“You’re drunk, I know you like partying, but you can’t do this right now. Give me your address and they’ll drop you off home so you can rest.” You try again but he’d fallen asleep.

“I need to know if you’re gonna take the ride or not. You’re wasting my time here.” The driver glared at you impatiently causing you to push Jeonghan’s top half out of the way before getting in. You gave the driver your address and prayed you wouldn’t regret it later.

The drive to your place was silent, you spent the time staring out the window trying to ward off the anxiety that was bubbling within you. Meanwhile Jeonghan was pretending to sleep beside you. He may have been drunk, but it was the only way he could get the chance to hear you talk again. Earlier, while around all your friends, he had realized that staying sober would only prevent him from talking to you, so he drank. He drank until he was sure he’d be drunk enough to have an excuse to be with you, even if for just one more night.

Getting Jeonghan out of the cab had been a struggle, one that the driver was too annoyed to help you with. Eventually you managed to pull the tall young man out of the vehicle and pay for the ride, only for him to rush off towards the closest trash can and heave out the contents of his stomach. “Y/n” he whined still doubled over the can.

You reached for his arm but pulled away the moment he wretched into the trashcan again. Settling on rubbing his back instead, you waited until he was done, telling him he’d be fine over and over, like you used to. It made him happy.

It made him cry.

At first it was hard for you to notice since he wasn’t showing you his face. He was holding onto the wall behind the trashcan with his head hung low. Then his shoulders started to shake a little and that’s when you saw it. A tear. Almost as if in slow motion dropping to the ground. “Hey… Jeonghan? Are you okay? Does it hurt? Should we go to the hospital?” You asked worried something was wrong with him.

“It hurts” he whimpered.

Your heart was hammering wildly against your chest. You knew he had drank way more than he should have. Was it alcohol poisoning? Should you call 911 or haul another cab? “W-where? Where does it hurt? I’ll call another c-”

He tugged your hand hard, your phone slipping from your grip. “Here.” He breathed out placing your hand onto his chest. “Make it stop.”

You stared at him in awe, the way he looked while he cried under the sole streetlight in front of your small apartment building. Saying things that made you wonder if he maybe was admitting to something you had yearned to hear him say for years. It was the most beautiful and sad thing you’d ever seen in your life… but it wasn’t real. This was Jeonghan after all. He would wake up the next day and be on his way back out of your life.

“Let’s go inside” hand slowly slipping out of his grip, you picked up your phone and placed his arm over your shoulder, slowly and carefully guiding him inside.

Nothing else was said.

Not when he noticed you’d repainted your apartment, not when you helped him brush his teeth, not when you sat him down on your bed and helped take his shoes off. Only when you tried to walk away from the bed did he speak. “Stop.”

You turned around and looked down at him. His eyes were wide open as he stared up at you pleadingly. “Sleep with me. Stay with me.”

You had always said that Jeonghan tended to look younger when he was drunk. His eyes always got big, the tips of his ears and apples of his cheeks red… all of it only making it impossible for you to say no to him. “Just until you fall asleep” you grumbled slipping into the bed, not daring to lay down or you knew you’d fall asleep next to him and that was the last thing you needed. How would you possibly explain to a sober and hungover Jeonghan that you’d slept in the same bed?

His head found it’s way onto your lap and his arm draped over your legs, almost as if holding you hostage. “I missed you” he murmured. He was sleepy, not nearly as drunk as he had been an hour ago.

Your heart dropped slightly, but you dismissed his words coldly. “You’re drunk.”

“I don’t care. Drunk or sober. I still missed you” he said again.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean and go to sleep.” You insisted. Head leaned back against the head of your bed trying to keep tears from spilling.

“I mean it…” he was falling asleep now. His body giving into the piled up exhaustion he had been living with for the past 5 months. The months he’d spent without you. “I miss you so much.”

He was out like a light. Pulling him off of your lap and back onto your pillow was hard. His arms grabbing at you tightly as if on alarm. “I’m still here” you whispered laying down beside him. His now dark brown hair framed his sleeping face only strengthening the deep frown he sported as he slept.

Watching him in his sleep wasn’t creepy if he never found out, right? Before you knew it you were reaching out to his face. Fingertips smoothing out the frown on his forehead, “do you have nightmares?” You wondered outloud. “Why do you frown?”

Slowly your fingertips slid down the side of his face. “Why do you always come back? Why do you always lie to me, Jeonghan? Why do you make me feels things again?” You murmured tearing up. It was ripping at you that he was so close to you when you had sworn you wanted him nowhere near you. It was ripping at you that all you wanted to do was kiss away whatever worry was making him frown in his sleep. “Do you have any idea how much you’re hurting me right now?” You asked knowing he wouldn’t hear you.

Slowly but surely, you fell asleep. Warm, sad and not realizing that, not only were tears dripping down your cheeks, but Jeonghan’s too. Not realizing that he had been hearing everything you’d said.

He woke up first the next afternoon. It was past 1pm and he was wondering if he should leave before you woke up and found him lying next to you, but he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay. That’s how you came to wake up to Jeonghan sitting on your bed staring at the wall across your dim room. He had been too scared to get off the bed and open your shutters earlier.

Jeonghan turned his attention to you when he felt you stir, eyes meeting yours. After a few moments of silence you realized you would have to speak first. “Sorry, I fell asleep. I meant to go to the living room.” You said standing from your bed and avoiding his gaze. “You puked a lot yesterday, are you okay?” You asked only to be met with silence again.

It felt like you were walking on eggshells as you went to your closet and took out some of the clothes Wonwoo had left behind. You dropped them on the bed and nodded over to your bathroom. “You should shower before leaving, at least. I’ll make you something to eat too… for bringing you to my house without consent” you mustered awkwardly before disappearing out the door and taking a deep breath.

Relaxing only when you heard the shower start running, you began to move around your small kitchen cooking up the hangover soup you knew he loved out of habit moreso than intentionally. It was almost as if you hadn’t really been away from him long. You were so lost in your cooking and in your thoughts, that you didn’t notice when Jeonghan walked into the kitchen and stood against the counter watching you from behind.

For a second he imagined you and him in a different situation. He imagine waking up to you making him breakfast before heading to work every morning. You fixing his tie at the door and giving him a kiss goodbye… except that situation didn’t have many chances of becoming a reality. Instead he had gotten shitfaced drunk the night before, woke up at 1pm in your bed, and the air around both of you was stiff and awkward. He hated it.

“Whose clothes am I wearing?” He finally broke the silence making you jump slightly.

You cleared your throat and snuck a peek at him, “Wonwoo’s” you answered as you plated him a bowl of soup and set it on the table.

“Does he stay the night often?” He asked. “Do you like him?”

You ignored his question and looked into your fridge tapping your fingers against your lips. “Do you want Kimchi?” You asked.

Jeonghan couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled you away from the fridge and shut the door lightly. “I want to talk.” He said.

“I don’t.” You answered. Not because you didn’t want to, really, after all those years of friendship, you both deserved to at least talk about the problem. You knew you were both being immature, petty, stubborn… but you were both also scared.

His arms pulled you into him, wrapping you up in a tight hug. You had no idea how fucking good it felt for him to have you within his embrace again. “Please. Y/N I’m begging you, I want to talk.” He said again, voice breaking slightly.

You tried to pull away to get a better view of his face, was he crying again? He didn’t let you see. He loosened his grip on you and moved his head so his forehead was resting on your shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything, just please let me talk.” He told you.

You on the other hand were frozen to your spot. He had cried the night before, however you had blamed it on him being drunk… but now he was sober and it was hard for you to wrap your head around the situation because he had never been the type to cry. “Jeonghan…”

“You were right. You were right about everything you said. I don’t know shit about being a friend and about loving another person, I knew all along that you were in love with me and I took advantage of that because no matter what I did or said, you would always be there. I took you for granted, and every single time you came back, you always forgave me. I also hated that you made me feel things I didn’t want to feel. I hated that you were my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I hated it because I was scared… it scared me that things like this…” he pulled at the shirt he was wearing, “…pissed me off. That guys flirting with you made me want to rip my hair out by the roots. It scared me that suddenly if you called, I was up and running to you to keep you company. It scared me that suddenly you had as much control over me as I did over you.”

Your heart was racing and thumping against your ribcage. Your eyes blurry with tears. “Then why…”

“Because I wanted to show you. I wanted to show you that I was still me, that no matter how much you loved me I wasn’t capable of loving you back. So when Lina approached me, I gave in without a thought… and then we got caught and you kicked me out and at first it felt good. I was happy that you had seen me, happy that you knew I was trash. But then you didn’t come back. I looked all over for you, but you were nowhere to be seen. Then 2 months later you were at that party and I thought it was my chance. I thought-” he choked on his tears, his face buried into your neck this time and you wrapped your arms around him unable to let him cry alone. “I thought we would be okay. Y/N, I thought you would be the same as before, but the look in your eyes was different. Your eyes were empty of that signature warmth they always had when they saw me. Then we fought and you left me. I deserved it, I know, but you left me.”

“I had a panic attack that night alone in one of Seungcheol’s bathrooms. It hit me then that I had lost you. It hit me that I would never be able to see you again, that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. It hit me then, that I can’t fucking live without you because I’m in fucking love with you.” He spoke fast and loud, almost matching paces with your heart. “I love you. I love you so much and I miss you. I don’t want you to be away from me anymore. I gave you space. I didn’t look for you for 5 months, but now you’re here again and I don’t want to let go anymore. So please, please forgive me.”

Jeonghan dropped to his knees in front of you and you gasped grabbing at his elbows. “I’m sorry, just please take me back. Please talk to me again” he begged moving your hands from his elbows only for you to drop in front of him and hold him not saying a word. Both of you crying in the kitchen just holding each other for what felt like hours.

Eventually you were both calm. At some point he had managed to move you so you were sat on his lap with both his arms around your waist and his forehead resting against your shoulder again. “I love you” he whispered for the nth time, almost as if he was making sure you’d heard him.

“Jeonghan… I know this was hard for you to admit and I love you too, I love you more than anyone,” he raised his head so he was looking into your eyes again, “but it isn’t going to be easy. You broke my heart and my trust more than once, and it won’t be easy to fix that.”

“I know. I understand that entirely… I just want you to please let me try to make it up to you. God, I will do anything to make you forgive me.”

His eyes were big and rimmed red from all the crying, you wanted to kiss him… you’d only ever kissed him once in your life and that was when you were both 13 and wanting to lose your first kiss to one another as you had promised.

Your hands took his face in your hands and you pressed your lips against his. Quick to kiss you back, Jeonghan grabbed at your hips so you wouldn’t leave. He was warm and soft, but more importantly, though, he was in love with you too. He pulled away only when you were both out of breath and panting together.

“So when do you start making it up to me?” You asked with the tiniest hint of a smile.

A sigh of relief left him and a weight seemed to lift of his shoulders. He reached behind his neck and unclasped what you realized was your paper airplane necklace. Carefully, he placed the dainty thing around your neck clasping it together, his lips softly meeting your forehead.

“You make the rules now” he answered smiling right back at you.

And that’s a wrap! I was so happy to see the response you guys had for the first part of this Jeonghan au! I really hope you guys like this! Thank you so much for reading. If you want to request something specifically, feel free to ask!

(@xu-minju I promised to tag you! So here it its!)

-Miss Cakepop♡

#seventeen x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan angst #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan au #svt x reader #svt jeonghan #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop au #seventeen #svt au #svt angst #svt scenarios #seventeen au

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touchstarvedsam · 4 years

Text

Read on AO3 or read the fic under the cut.

Sam’s been spending less time in the bunker since curing Dean of being a demon. After unchaining him, he left the dungeon with a look on his face Dean never wants to see again. Dean’s seen Sam cry, he’s seen Sam completely broken and hurt. But he has never seen this look on Sam’s face before. Complete and total hopelessness, terror, and heartbreak. Not even after Jessica burned up on that ceiling did Sam look like that.

And Dean put that look there.

Dean broke Sam so totally and completely beyond repair.

He remembers the things he said, as a demon, because he remembers meaning them. But he doesn’t mean them now and he doesn’t know how to fix this.

Castiel had brought him food from the local diner after he was cured, said Sam placed the order and picked it up but couldn’t bring it to Dean himself. He’d told Cas he just needed time, and Dean will give him that, as much as it hurts having his little brother hide from him.

Sam ordered him a cheeseburger extra onion and double French fries, just like he likes, with two slices of apple pie for dessert. Even sad and scared, Sam will always think about Dean above himself.

He’d asked Cas if Sam got himself a salad like the health nerd he is. Cas just gave him a pitying smile, which told Dean everything he needed to know.

Now, almost a week since he was cured, Dean knows Sam hasn’t been eating enough, and that Sam spends a lot of time at the local bar outside Lebanon. It’s a couple steps down from a dive, but it has its share of rowdy drunks, a pool table for some good hustlin’, and bartenders that aren’t scared to kick you out on your ass. Dean would know.

And Sam has been there at least four nights this week.

It’s the fifth night that he hears the creak of the door open and slam shut that alerts Dean to Sam leaving again. It’s just after nine. Dean weighs his options and decides to follow Sam there but remain hidden; he’s gotten good at hiding since he got the mark of Cain.

He gives him an hour head start before heading over, driving through the lot to locate the car that Sam seems to take whenever he goes off alone, then parks in the back so Sam can’t find Baby and know that Dean came.

The bartender knows him, lets Dean take up a shadowed corner with a couple’a beers and hunker down to watch the show.

Sam seems to be two or three beers in; he’s swaying on his feet, cheeks flushed and hair a mess like he ran his fingers through it several times in frustration.

And he appears to be hustling, except the little shit is drunk and not just faking it to play the guys he’s hustling. If Sam does this every night without backup, Dean is going to kill him.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” one of the guys slurs, leaning too close to Sam for Dean’s liking. Dean never was fond of anyone touching Sam or calling him pet names. That’s Dean’s baby brother and Dean doesn’t play nice when it comes to Sammy. He watches as Sam visibly tenses – knows what’s making his brother uncomfortable – and steps back. “Oh, don’t be like that, pretty, you know you can’t win this, don’t ya? I’m givin’ you an out. Your arm’s broken, ain’t it?”

“No,” Sam replies, bumping the pool table in his haste to put more distance between them, grunting in pain at the contact. “Already told you… I lose an’ you take me for all the money I got, or you lose, and I take you for all the money you got – no more no less. I can beat you, sprained elbow or not.”

Dean smirks with pride. His brother may be drunk but he’s not stupid. Sam can play pool left handed or right handed. They trained themselves over the years how to use both hands in case their dominant hand becomes incapacitated somehow in the middle of a hunt. Always need a contingency plan when your life’s on the line.

“We’ll see about that,” the man growls, leering at Sam, eyes roaming his body up and down. That kind of scrutiny would have Dean wanting to shower and scrub himself raw; he can’t imagine how Sammy feels. “It’s prudes like you that beg for cock when it’s presented to them.”

That has Dean half standing, anticipating. He’s furious that anyone would say that to Sam. It has Dean’s skin crawling and the mark on his arm burning, begging for bloodshed. Dean wants to slit this man’s throat for even thinking of Sam that way. He wants to torture him and make him beg for Sam’s forgiveness.

He wants to bash his face in.

Sam shoves the guy’s shoulder and says, “Just play pool, man,” and Dean sits back down. The game resumes and Dean keeps a watchful eye as Sam fumbles his way through the game, drunk off his ass. Sam accepts drink after drink and Dean knows his little brother isn’t going to win this game with that much alcohol in his system, but he’s waiting until Sam actually needs help to step in.

“You’ve been alone for awhile, sugar. You waitin’ for someone?” a smooth woman’s voice says from his left. He looks up just as she’s sliding into the seat across from him and blocking his view of Sam and the guys he’s hustling. He needs to get her out of here fast.

“I’m just enjoying some time alone,” he replies, not trying to sound rude but wanting her gone.

Her smile is predatory when she asks, “Would you like some company?”

“I’m sorry, darlin’,” he tries to sound remorseful but misses by a mile as he leans slightly to the right to try to get an eye on Sam.

She must notice he’s distracted because she turns her body slightly to the left and cranes her neck to see what Dean is looking at before turning back to him. “That tall glass of water, huh? It’s always the gorgeous ones,” she says wistfully with a shake of her head and winks at him as she gets up from her chair. “If you strike out, I’ll be at the bar, sugar.”

It had to be less than a minute between the time she looked at Sam and then left the table, but by the time Dean’s view cleared, Sam and the guys at the pool table were gone. Dean almost knocked over his chair in his haste to get up and find Sam. It was barely 11, and the past week Sam hadn’t been coming home until well after midnight. Last call was 1:30 but Sam has always been the type to leave well before last call to avoid being “one of those people,” he’d say. His little brother was such a nerd.

Sam’s a grown man. 32 years old and 6’4”, he shouldn’t need Dean’s protection, but that will never stop the big brother side of Dean from protecting his little brother. And now, with this mark burning into his arm, Dean’s more protective than usual. More agitated, angry. He’s itching to make someone hurt, someone bleed, and if tonight it happens to be some guys Sam beat at pool then so be it.

He bypasses the pool table they were hanging at -- the drink Sam had been drinking rests on the edge of the table, condensation leaving a ring on the lacquered wood finish -- and heads for the hall leading to the bathroom. He stops at the sound of voices in the middle of an argument.

“I told you, nothing more nothing less,” Sam’s voice carries down the hallway and Dean waits, wanting to give Sam the benefit of the doubt. He didn’t see how many of the guys followed but even inebriated he knows Sam can hold his own. It’s just the protective part inside him that wants to beat this guy’s face in for thinking he can get something from Sam.

“I might’a let you go if you didn’t hustle me an’ my boys for all we got,” the man replies huskily. There’s a thud and Sam grunts. It sets Dean’s teeth on edge and makes his hand twitch for a blade. He peers around the corner and sees that Sam’s pressed against the wall by the man he was playing when Dean got to the bar, the other two that had been hanging around the pool table watching them play were flanking the two of them. Dean could only make out Sam’s shaggy head of hair. “Now we’re gonna take it out on your ass for all we lost.”

Sam tries to shove at the guy’s shoulders, says, “Just because I can outplay you in pool with my arm in a sling doesn’t mean I cheated. You just lack skill.”

It’s Sam’s smart mouth that Dean both loves and hates. His baby brother can be a huge pain in the ass with his book intelligence, but sometimes he lacks severe street intelligence. He wonders how often this has happened before; he’s going to have to have a talk with Sammy after he saves his ass, literally.

He has half a mind to let these guys fuck with Sam a little bit to teach him a lesson; give himself a better excuse to beat them half to death for touching his brother.

He wants to be Sam’s savior and then punish him accordingly, both for running away from him and for putting himself in deliberate danger.

He’s going to punish Sam regardless.

“Get off’a me!” Sam shouts, trying to shove harder, but he’s outnumbered and while Sam is tall and strong, these guys have more muscle mass on him and they just laugh as Sam struggles against them, his arm in the sling cradled against his chest. He can’t use all his strength because of the damn sling and his hurt elbow.

Being bitten by a vampire while Sam watches crosses his mind and he feels less inclined to jump in just yet, wanting to see how this plays out. Sam had no soul, he reminds himself, but at the same time… Dean feels like he doesn’t have a soul right now, too. Just dark thoughts swirling around in his head about his little brother and pain.

“Aw, come on, pretty boy,” another one of the men taunts, gripping Sam’s chin and turning him to face him. “Don’t be a prude. You look like you’re desperate to get fucked. Just turn around and we’ll make you feel good, baby.”

“No!”

Hearing this sleazeball call Sammy “baby” is enough for Dean. He steps away from hiding just as they��re turning Sam to face the wall, fiddling with Sam’s belt buckle as his little brother squirms in their grip.

“Let him go,” Dean growls.

“Mind ya own business, pal.”

“I said,” Dean speaks slow, as if talking to a child who broke the rules, “Let,” he steps closer, “Him go.”

“Dean,” Sam says, voice quivering both in fear of the men trying to have their way with him and possibly at Dean himself. Sam hasn’t looked Dean in the eye since Dean was cured; he’s been ducking out of the bunker before Dean can emerge from his bedroom, or the bathroom. Dean had been longing to catch Sam in the library again, reading a book, happy and comfortable like he used to be. But as far as he knows, Sam stays in his room, or leaves the bunker altogether to run away from Dean.

That stops now.

“It’s okay, Sammy,” Dean says, “I’m here.”

“Listen, buddy,” the man that Sam beat speaks up again, “Find your own bitch, this one’s ours.”

Despite the burning of the mark, begging for Dean to slit the throats of these men, Dean actually laughs out loud. “You’re right,” he shrugs, a smirk growing on his face as he steps closer. “He is a bitch, but he’s my bitch, and I’m not going to let scumbags like you taint him.” He grabs the hair of the one who had grabbed Sam’s chin and yanks him away roughly. “If you don’t want to die today, let him go.”

“Alright, asshole--” The first guy releases Sam and lunges at Dean, who slams the guy he has by the hair face first into the wooden wall of the hallway next to the bathroom. He whirls around before the guy reaches him to throw a right hook into his chin, sending him flying back. The third guy releases Sam completely with a shout and lunges, too, but Sam sticks a foot back and trips him so he falls face first.

“Like I said,” Dean says with finality.

“Dean,” Sam repeats his name, looking at him fully. He still has fear showing in his face but Dean is just glad to hear his voice. “You--”

“Sammy,” he says softly, stepping over the man he knocked out with a right hook and pressing Sam back against the wall. He almost backs away when Sam’s beautiful hazel eyes flash with fear -- the last time he had Sam against a wall, he had a hammer and was going to kill Sam and Sam had a knife to his throat that Dean knew he wouldn’t use on him -- but he doesn’t. He holds his ground. “Sammy,” he repeats, raising a hand to caress his little brother’s alcohol flushed cheek. “I don’t want you doing this anymore.”

“Dean, I- I just needed time and--”

He doesn’t know why he does it -- actually, that’s a lie because he knows why he does it, he’s always wanted to do it -- but he leans in and kisses Sam, effectively quieting him. Sam gasps against his lips and accidentally grants access to Dean’s tongue. Dean holds Sam’s chin with one hand while the other trails downward and grips Sam’s hip to press it tightly to the wall, keeping him still. His hips follow soon after and press against Sam’s. He’s careful where they press together so he doesn’t put pressure on Sam’s hurt arm as he deepens the kiss.

Sam doesn’t fight. His free arm lifts up and he wraps his thin fingers into the collar of Dean’s shirt and pulls him closer. Dean smiles into the kiss before pulling away, says softly, “Come back home, Sammy,” and gives him another chaste kiss.

Sam goes home with him, riding shotgun in the Impala as he should. They’ll get the car Sam drove tomorrow. Tonight he’s going to punish Sam for running away, and then claim him like he should have done all those years ago.

#wincest #mark of cain dean #post soul survivor #possessive dean #protective dean #violence #hustling pool #drunk sam #kissing #attempted rape/noncon #not between sam and dean #it's between omc/sam #kind of wanna write a sequel kind of don't #i just love writing about sam being scared and avoiding dean after soul survival #dean deserves the pain of sammy avoiding him <3 #hey this is terrible i've just been thinking about it for weeks :)#posting now then i guess i'll reblog it tomorrow or something idk

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call-me-merlyn · 3 years

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I found a list of my favorite things you ever said to me. I cried in a way that I haven’t since I was a small child- broken by my parents’ words, mistakes, and anger. I curled my knees to myself and remembered that I can do hard things. I started to wonder where we went wrong. Because my feelings for you never changed. But then I realized that was never the issue. These words I read now ring as true today as they did over the four years you wrote them. But I want them back. I want you back. I want pragmatism and growth. I want to talk about the hard things and work them through. But I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell you anything because you don’t want to hear it. Because you’re hurt and you want space. So if you stumble upon this blog- the one I told you not to look at all those years ago- I will let a few snippets of your words remind you. Mind you, these are 12 out of about 30.

1. Baby. I want the future with you. It just hit me so hard. I want the visions I have. I want us and I don't see that changing. We are the most beautiful couple I have ever encountered. Not just because we're both convinced the other is drop dead gorgeous, but because I see such magnificent potential in us, together. We are that rare couple that could actually have the dream life that everyone wants and fears is impossible or that they don't deserve it. Health, happiness, adventures, perfect children, successful careers, growth and excitement, cuddles, intellectual stimulation, respect for each other, kisses that leave us breathless, freedom, good friends that we both care about, a lovely home, a dorky dog or five, all the sex we can handle, our families coming together wonderfully, and true fucking love. I want it all with you and I believe that we can have it with all my heart. Ugh I want it and I'm so excited to build towards the future we want. With you. Every damn day, one day at a time.

2. Morning love. To build a home? I'll always like yours more. I'm binging your music this morning. Speaking of songs that make me cry. Night in shining armor? I love that whole analogy. Your words are one of my favorite things about you. I love the music that spills from your lips, whether you're singing or laughing or reading or teasing me. It's all heavenly music to my ears. I'm so proud to be your person, your once and future someone. I love you so much. The dark times have passed baby, you brought the light back into my life.

3. This one's hard to explain. I've never met someone who is such a clean harmony. Your identity, your character, is a beautiful, pure chord. Every interaction I have with you I hear that resonance, and the notes weave together perfectly. That chord resonates with who I am on such a deep level, and I could hear it from the very first moment we interacted. I want to listen to that chord every day, to hear it form your melody, day in and day out. Puzzle out it's layers and listen to you add more. And to play my own song to match yours, to create our own wonderful song in this life.

4. You elicit feeling so well with words, sometimes it makes me feel inadequate

The way you express yourself so effortlessly

Because I've always prided myself on communicating verbally

But it comes pretty effortlessly to me too

Especially when I talk about you

I know I keep coming back to this, I'm sorry

But it resonates so strongly with me

To imagine you as a song, chord, or melody

The way your music weaves with mine

Haunting, ethereal, and divine

You make my eyes and heart shine

With love and affection, at my most painful times

When I can't feel it about myself

You come to my house and put happy memories upon my shelf

I want to show you how much you mean to me

So that you will always see

You are my light

And in the middle of the night

When I roll over and feel your breath

On my neck, I don't fear death

Because a life next to you is a life worth living

The love I have for you is a love worth giving

5. I was watching How I Met Your Mother, and to be honest that show really means a lot to me. I'm not sure why I bonded it with it so hard, it feels kind of silly in retrospect, but I did. In the episode, the main character runs into the girl who left him at the altar for another man, and they talk about true love and who you choose to be with. And the guy has an open moment about his yearning for that special connection that people find so rarely. That spark between people that's so unique and magical when it occurs. The song Careful by Michelle Featherstone plays in the background. I'm sure you've heard it, and it just pulled at my heartstrings. Maybe listen to it as you read this? Bc I am as I write. It makes me think of you. I've said it before, and the words fall flat, but I'm so damn grateful for you. Every piece of you. The fractals, the perfectly formed little moments of unadulterated Merlyn, that come together to form this perfectly cohesive being of fucking light. You know me. And I don't like to admit that I falter, or that I need help from anyone. It goes against what I've been trained to be by my father, my experiences, and my own cynical nature. Before you walked into my life...I wasn't entirely happy. I was missing something. I could feel it. And it made me ache. I went looking for it everywhere, even though I wasn't sure what it would look like when I found it. But I knew how it would feel. And you... you rescued me. From my own damn self. I'm prone to loneliness for a number of reasons. I'm solitary. I like to be independent. I'm proud. I can be harsh and judgmental. I get exhausted by humanity. I can be very sensitive when I'm vulnerable, and I don't like to give more than a handful of people the power to touch my heart. But since you walked into my life? I don't have to look anymore. I have never felt such constantly genuine, gentle, fierce, and unselfish support from anyone. Not from my parents, not from friends, my cousins, my lovers. No one has ever looked at me the way you do. No one has ever been so unyieldingly loving. Every time I have trusted you with more of my heart and my self, you do your absolute best to make me feel valued and loved. No matter how that best manifested, I have always felt your effort. You are always careful with my heart. I used to carry around this utter, soul crushing feeling that I missed someone. Someone vital. But there was no one to miss. And I didn't know where to direct that desire for connection. I got lonely because I wanted someones company...that I didn't know. But since I met you, I haven't felt that even once. I have only rarely felt lonely, and even in those moments, it was because I fucking missed YOU. Your laugh, your touch, our connection. And that's such a revelation to me. To know the face of the person I feel I've been missing all this time. It's been you. I love you, Merlyn. You are an unparalleled treasure to me.

6. God damn it Merlyn, I have so much love for you. I'm so lucky to have you, the thought of losing you is a nightmare. I want late night quesadillas and then to push each other to eat right. I want to scoff at each other's baby names until we get to ones we both love. I want to be your shoulder to lean on, cry on, or try to dislocate with a kimura. I want yours to be the same for me (maybe without the kimura bit?) I want to sing duets with you and write stories on lazy Sunday afternoons. I want to make you grin and I want to make you bite your lip. I want to hear your breathing every night when I go to sleep. I want to put Tristan on my shoulders, have a debate with Chris, try to get your cat to like me. I want you to cuddle into me and let me hold you at night even when I get hot because you're the most precious fucking thing in the world to me. I want you to train with my dad and shop with my mom. I want to get drinks with your mom and laugh at your dad's dirty jokes. I want to travel with you, go jet skiing on tropical islands and throw snowballs at each other in the mountains. I want to walk around crowded cities with you until I get too anxious but you tell me to chill out and stop being such a baby about it. I want to hear my daughter call you mother. I want to see you spin like you did when I first walked you home. Nothing brings me more joy than the thought of sharing the little moments, the big moments, and everything in between with you. Nothing is worth jeopardizing that future for me. I love you with all that I am. Count on it.

7. I just read all your words top to bottom and they hit me hard. I've been looking at them as bits and pieces. One day, one note at a time, not a tapestry. All together in one sitting, I can just feel where your heart was, and maybe still is. I hope it still is in some ways, because I've never been loved like how you love me. Not with such admiration or surety. I've never been wanted the way you want me. It makes me feel simultaneously unworthy and determined to live up to your love. It breaks me to feel the pain in your pen strokes. I want to wrap you up in my arms and fend away anything that would ever make you cry. I hate myself sometimes for making you cry. It breaks me every time, a corruption of my purpose. Every time, to read the simple words "today was hard..." It rips me apart. I love, live to see you smile. To laugh with you. To make music with you, whatever the form. I'm sorry for all the pain I've ever caused you, my darling. It's never my intention. You are my most precious gift, and words fall short of expressing the breadth and complexity of my feelings for you. They boil down to what you've written over and over again though: I want this life with you. I want all the complications, all the routine days, all the late night phone calls, and the adventures. I want to walk around knowing we have the same last name. I want you. Endlessly I want you. I wish I could pull a fragment of that feeling out of my chest and give it to you just so that you'd understand. God I miss you. I love you. You are my partner, and I hope that stays true for the rest of our lives. I can't say it enough. You are everything to me. I want you to express every part of you, never stop, because I love them all. Every mellifluous note in your melodies, every word of poetry in your fascinating mind, every fierce moment on the mat, every tear that falls in your fragile, vulnerable moments. I want to be there. To give you love and to be the best partner I can be. For you. God I can never say enough

8. Kay I'm heading to bed so gonna write this out. It's difficult. Love defies definition by its very nature. Which is a paradoxical statement right out the gate but whatever. I started writing my response in a philosophical approach but it didn't feel right. There's no need to ramble about Forms or essence or any of that philosophy mumbo jumbo. All that matters is how you opened my eyes. I used to think that love was about passion above and to the detriment of everything else. I used to think that love and pain were joined at the hip, inseparable. I used to fear that love was a curse, a burden, a surrender. I used to think that to fall for someone was a trap, and that you were taking a terrible gamble by giving someone the power to destroy you. I used to think that relationships were ropes and that love was a noose. I used to think that love was jealous, demanding, forceful, combative. I used to think that love was sporadic and messy. I used to think that there was no true, sustainable happiness to be found. You've turned it all around. Hell, you've upended the board and thrown away the rulebook. You've shown me that love is a balance of passion and choice, that they should play off each other build each other up. One is useless without the other. Passion will burn you out, but so too can you drown going through the motions. I've been through both. You're the only one that has struck the balance with me. You've shown me that the only necessary pains from love are the growing pains. I've been given and dealt horrible wounds, been through wars. Our relationship is the only one in which both parties can put their weapons down. You've shown me that love is a tank of oxygen when you're drowning, a shoulder to lean on, an investment. Trusting you with my heart has liberated and empowered me. I believe that trusting me with yours has done the same for you. We use that understanding of each other to lend strength, to give joy, to protect. You've shown me that relationships are lanterns and that love is the sun. You lit up my world. You've shown me that love is generous, thoughtful, gentle, supportive. You've shown me that it's steady and pure. You've shown me that happily ever after isn't just in storybooks. It's attainable. We have an obligation to chase it. We've been given a gift. And I will be grateful for it for the rest of my life. I will cherish it. I will cherish you. You've given me everything. You are my true love. Goodnight I hope you sleep well

9. Darling, gorge yourself on my love

I pray to God that it’s enough

To fill you up and keep us above

The water line of that rising slough

Darling, gorge yourself on my heart

I pray to God it’s what you need

Ignore the pain in the darker part

Come home again to me to feed

Darling, gorge yourself on my mind

I pray to God it’s what you want

Those angry echoes you may find

Don’t let them drive you from this haunt

Darling gorge yourself on me

I pray to God I’m what you crave

I know I’m flawed but I can be

The one who saves you, the one you save

Oh darling, I’ll gorge myself on you

On your mind and body, heart and soul

So darling, gorge yourself on me too

To keep us human, keep us whole

10. I want us to be tethered by the sea, to back each other to the hilt, to paint the walls red with love, to get lost in the light. Baby I promise I will take true care of you, tell you that some things last, and know you better than your piano. Because you found me. You came out of nowhere, you made me fall in love with a single touch, and this ain't a haunted house no more. I can't take my mind off of you. Only you can help me to forget the terror that comes and goes in waves. You keep me warm, and I know that all will be well and we'll be just fine. So don't give up love. Three more months, flyin your way home to me. We'll be inches apart and even closer at heart. So send me your location, cause I'm jealous of the wind that ripples through your clothes. Put your eyes on me, and I know a place that we can get away. Say you won't let go, tell me it's real, and let's go somewhere only we know. We won't need to take our clothes off to have a good time, but I'll get the lights and you lock the door, cuz we won't leave that room til we both feel more. Cause I see it all without the lights. No one will ever see you the way my eyes do. You are something to behold. Elegant and bold, you are unforgettable. You are the fire and the flood. Last night I woke the fuck up, realized I never wanted anything so much as to drown in your love. If you could read my mind love, what a tale my thoughts could tell. I feel life for the very first time: love in my arms and the sun in my eyes. Ohh I fall apart, and I can't help falling in love with you. I still can't believe that I found love where it wasn't supposed to be. Right in front of me. At (college). I made a fumbling play for your heart, and the act struck a spark. I want to be with you for the rest of my life and beyond. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to you and go straight into your arms. I'm in love with all that you are.

11. You always wonder about the future. What makes you different from the others. There are infinite answers, but some of the biggest ones are that..you make me understand and feel things that people always say but never mean. Until you, I've never truly wanted all of someone. And I mean it when I say I want ALL of you. I am in love with every inch of you, every word that comes out of your mouth, every little habit, every quirk. I have wanted every piece of you in every moment that I've known you without fail. I have never adored anyone or anything so much. You are perfection to me. In the truest sense of the word baby. You make the cliches make sense. You make them feel not cliche. It's incredible. You make sense in my bones. I am so in love with you. I can picture nothing more glorious than a life with you. That's how I know you're the one. Because it's obvious. And when it's right, it should just he obvious. Easiest choice in the world.

12 Goodnight ____. I hope you sleep well. I really enjoyed hanging out and listening to you play tonight. I know you were half joking about how I should be paying you compliments, but your music abilities really are such a gift. It always makes me happy when you use them. You get this energy about you that’s so wonderful to see. I’m listening to your soundcloud stuff again now. Been a while since I’ve done that, haven’t had access to the account for a bit. I wish you had more of your stuff on here. It’s all so lovely. It always makes me think about us. You don’t seem to care for it much, but especially To My Future Someone. I hope I live up to all you dreamt I’d be when you wrote those words. I hope to the gods I’m the one you sang about. Because you are everything I ever wanted in a true love, and more. Things that I didn’t even know I needed. You’ve made me a kinder, much more grateful man. And a happier soul. You deserve the best in this world, and I’ll always do my utmost to be him. I’m so in love with you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, my light. Sweet dreams.

When did the thought of losing me stop being a nightmare? Because the hurt was never more than this. Never more than this love. You said in another snippet that you’d do anything to be the person I built a home with; you’d do your best to be the my person and to never hurt me. But you don’t want to be with me. And you chose your nightmare over your dreams. And I still choose you. I still chose you every second of every fucking day. It was my nightmare too and I’m living it.

But, I’m changing. I’m harder now. The tears don’t fall quite as easily as they used to. And at least I know who I am now. I am a warrior. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am new. Don’t think 8 weeks can change someone?? Come see me again. I’ll show you exactly who I’m not anymore. The only thing that hasn’t changed is my love for you.

And if you want to lose these words and this love, so be it. I won’t fight you. I won’t fear you or that anymore. I don’t want to be the only one fighting. I can’t. And I won’t be afraid of my worst nightmares because they have come true and even though I pray I won’t lose you, nothing in this life is certain. If you don’t want to fight, I will be someone else’s light someday. And I will shine unashamed; unabashed; strong and sure. I will bring beautiful children, music, and love into the world. But until then, I’ll be my own light, and set my darkness aflame every morning, just as I have since the day you left. After all, there’s not much darkness left anymore.

#journalentry #long reads #personal entry

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santoteez · 4 years

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Inferno - An Ateez Seven Deadly Sins Series (Pride)

Idol(S): Ateez

Genre: Demon!Ateez, Smut(eventually)

Part to this series: 2

Warnings: Mentions of murder, details of murder, smut, femdom, facesitting, mentions of death, assault, foul language (Sorry if I forget any! It’s a long chapter I wrote over the course of a week)

Note: This series does NOT reflect any member of Ateez or their personality realistically. This is pure fiction.

Word Count: 6,867

I’M POSTING THIS DURING RAMADAN SO I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD SAY THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR RAMADAN. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM READING AT THIS TIME (OR AT ALL) AND RAMADAN MUBARAK!

Hongjoong and the boys all gathered at the side of the office where a large armoire stood tall in the center.

“Pride, once I open the portal, just jump through and you will land in New York City. Once your feet hit the ground, time will start ticking, so make sure to keep tabs on the days.” Hongjoong said, preparing the opening process.

“Do I need to take anything with me? Just the file?” Pride asked.

“Just the file. When you arrive, you’ll have everything you need on your person. Things like groceries and toiletries can be bought once you’re there. Don’t fret if she’s apprehensive at first, I gave you a challenge for a reason. Sarina doesn’t just warm up to anyone.”

“Joong, I can get her. You don’t have to worry. After all, it’s me.” He remarked, adjusting his jacket.

“Show off.” Envy rolled his eyes.

“Who wouldn’t show off all this?” Pride asked.

“I need silence.” Hongjoong said sternly. He approached the armoire, raising his hand in front of him. He spoke, eyes shut tightly.

“Due to the nature of this task, I hereby release the Deadly Sin Pride from the depths of hell for the next seven days. On the eve of the seventh day, he is to return with his assignment. It is for this reason I will open the threshold separating the two worlds.”

The armoire doors swung open, an electrifying blue ring of light erupting from the center.

“Pride, good luck once again, and do not disappoint me.”

Pride nodded, giving the rest of his brothers a nod goodbye and walked through the portal. The light flashed, enveloping him and the armoire doors slammed shut promptly after he walked through.

“Welp, he’s gone. What now?” Sloth asked.

Hongjoong shrugged. “We wait. I’ll check on him on the 3rd day, so you’re all free to join me when that happens. Until then, he’s on his own.”

Pride felt the sensation of freefalling until his boots hit hardwood. He looked around to see he was standing in a fully furnished condominium. File still in tote, he flipped through the pages.

Name: Sarina Thomas

Age: 21

Occupation: Bartender at the Bluemist Lounge

Relationship Status: Single

Family: Mother, 2 younger siblings; Relationship nonexistent, Father deceased

Likes: Art, body modifications, trying new foods, drinking, fucking, occasional smoking

Dislikes: Men, love, fragile masculinity

Kinks: Femdom, Rigger, Ballbusting, Humiliation, Praise, Degradation, etc.

Pride squinted as the list of kinks went on and on. Hates men, huh? No wonder she was his assignment. It takes someone who’s sure of himself to get past that. He realized his pockets felt heavier, remembering Hongjoong’s talk about everything he needed would be on his person.

He dug through them, finding a set of keys, presumably from the apartment he’s in. A wallet, with various credit cards in them and an ID, all of which said the same name.

Jeong Yunho

He grimaced at the name, memories of his past life flooding back. The nerdiness and glasses, the low self-esteem, the bullying, the constant badgering, the night he snapped.

The wallet had some cash in it, along with the pins to the cards inside. The keys had a keychain with the address to the condo: 1 Park Place.

He moved to the kitchen. It was empty but fully furnished with a fridge and appliances. Pride, or Yunho as he now had to refer to himself as, figured he’d wasted enough time looking around. It was time to find his target and see what he was working with.

It was dark outside as he exited the building, the phone he found in his back pocket stated 11:30. If he left now, he’d make it to the lounge just in time for the ambiance to pick up, when people tend to move to the dancefloor, and leave the bartender alone.

He plugged in the name of the lounge into Google and decided to catch a cab. He paid the cabbie and got off 15 minutes later, paying the fee at the door and slipping past the sweaty, dancing bodies heading straight for the bar.

There she was, wiping down glasses. Her large crown of curls adorned her face like a mane. She had a nose piercing and tattoos peppered along her chestnut arms. She had on a sleeveless shirt with slashes down the front and high waisted jeans. Yunho made it to the bar, settling onto an empty stool.

“Got room for one more customer?” He asked.

Sarina looked him up and down, observing his crisp white button-down and black slacks. He shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and his tie was hanging loosely around his neck.

“What fortune 500 company office did you stumble out of?” She asked, putting the glasses away. “We’re pretty far away from Wall St.”

Yunho furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn’t sure what Wall St was, but it sounded like she thought he was a businessman. Was it the clothes?

“None, actually. I don’t have an office.” He said truthfully. “My line of work is...unorthodox.”

“Oh? Enlighten me, then.” She said, taking out a clean glass. “Also, what can I get you?”

“Jack Daniels, please. Honey.” He watched her reach for a bottle in the rack behind her. “I guess you can say I’m in charge of…very valuable shipments.”

“Valuable? Like diamonds and shit?” She asked, sliding the glass towards him. “Card, please. All cards are held as agreement to pay your tab.”

Yunho nodded, reaching for his wallet. Pulling out a black card, he slid it across the table. “Yeah, diamonds are possible. Usually whatever the boss says.”

“Someone like you, that walks like he shits roses, isn’t his own boss?”

Yunho shrugged. “What’s wrong with being the right-hand man? Besides, the boss never gets to have fun.”

“Really? What kind of fun do you have?” She asked, pouring herself a glass of Jack Daniels as well.

“Going back and forth with beautiful women is always fun.”

Sarina rolled her eyes. “Figured you’d say that. Listen, if you think I’m going to get flustered and dance into your bed, you can take that idea and shove it up your-”

Yunho put his hand up, stopping her before she went any further. “I don’t think any of that. You said it yourself, I think highly of myself. If I were trying to just fuck you, I would’ve said that a while ago. Don’t get so defensive. I’m an angel.” He smirked, taking a sip of his drink.

Sarina shook her head. “Something tells me that’s a lie.”

She had no idea how right she was.

Yunho and Sarina talked back and forth up until closing, but not before exchanging numbers. Yunho even waited with her until her Uber arrived. He made a mental note to download the app. He made his way back to the condo, showering and getting into bed in just a pair of boxers. After texting Sloth through an app he found on the phone, he decided to call it a night.

He woke up around noon. Realizing he didn’t have any groceries, he decided to get dressed and go shopping. Remembering what Sarina said, he checked to see if the closet had any clothes besides his suit he always wore back home. Opening the closet, he saw all kinds of clothing. Jeans, shorts, tees and hoodies in his size. Considering it was kind of hot when he went out last night, he opted for a black and white striped tee with jeans. He found some white converse on the floor and put those on too. His hair had fully air dried from his shower, so he left it as it was. Grabbing his keys and wallet, he headed out, googling the closest supermarket.

He took a cart from the entrance and made his way through the aisles, picking up random things. It was mainly things he could microwave or boil quickly; he wasn’t much of a cooker. While trying to decide on a soda, he noticed a familiar set of arms reaching for a bottle of juice on the top shelf. Yunho watched as she cutely jumped, but the bottle was just too high up.

Yunho came up behind her. “I got it.” He said, lowering the bottle to her reach.

Sarina sighed. “Thanks, but I never asked for he-” She paused, seeing who it is. “Hey, I know you. You stalking me?”

Yunho smiled. “I guess I should’ve led with my name last night. I’m Yunho.”

“Yunho, I’m Sarina. Everyone calls me Rina.” She said, and Yunho had to nod like he didn’t already know. “What brings you around here?”

“Well, I have zero groceries so I had to stock up.”

Sarina glanced at his cart. “Looks like you don’t own a stove either. What’s with all the microwaveables?”

Yunho smiled. “I’m not the best cook so, this is what I’m working with.”

Sarina shook her head. “Men.”

“You could come over and teach me a thing or two? Make sure I don’t burn down my kitchen?”

“Come into a man’s bachelor pad by myself? You’re asking me for a lot, Yunho.”

“Understood. A random guy walks up to your bar, strikes up conversation then pops up on you in the juice aisle of Whole Foods, and invites you to his house. For all you know I could be some serial killer that wants to skin you alive. I expect a self-assured woman like yourself to be cautious at all times. But I can assure you, I just want to know you.”

“Why me?” Sarina asked, observing his outfit. A sharp contrast from last night. Maybe not Fortune 500 after all.

“Why not? I just got to town and I can tell you’re the most intriguing one here.”

“Just got to town? From where?” She asked.

“From…down south.” Yunho quipped.

“Like Texas?” She cocked her head to the side.

“Something like that.” Yunho reached for a bottle of Sprite, placing it in the cart.

“Your answers are so clipped. You’re like a mystery.”

“Maybe if you came over, you’d be able to peel back some layers.” He answered, looking at the snacks.

“You don’t quit, do you? What do I get if I go?” Sarina taunted.

“You get to spend time with an amazing guy.”

“You’re very prideful, you know?”

“You have no idea.” Yunho pursed his lips. “So, is that a yes?”

Sarina contemplated. “That is an ‘I’ll take a chance on you.’” She said, turning her cart around to walk in the same direction as Yunho.

While online, Sarina noticed Yunho had a lot of stuff. “Did you bring a shopping cart?”

“Nope, I can carry it. It’s not too far.”

She stared incredulously. “You can put the frozen things and the soda in my cart. Don’t break your back trying to be a macho man.”

They walked back to Yunho’s building and made it to his apartment.

“For someone who does shipping, you live pretty lavish. I can tell your company ain’t no FedEx.” She walked into the kitchen. “Wow, when you said your kitchen was empty you weren’t kidding. How recently did you move?”

“Pretty recent, I’ve just been ordering food. I finally went shopping since I feel like I’m gaining weight.”

“That’s what you look like when you’re gaining weight? I’m jealous. Well, we don’t have all day so let’s get cooking!”

They spent the whole afternoon together, cooking, eating, and having fun. Yunho found out Sarina’s family doesn’t talk to her because she’s blamed for her father’s death. Common drunk trait: Oversharing.

“I had just gotten off the phone with him; it was a really nasty argument. So, he decided to drive over to my apartment. This was around the time I was in bartending school, and I lived nearby campus. He wasn’t obeying the laws of the road. Rammed straight into an 18-wheeler. Died on impact.”

“And your mom thinks that’s your fault?”

“Basically. Says that had I not argued with him or gotten him agitated he wouldn’t have been on the road that night and he’d still be here. After the funeral, she said she never wanted to see me again. That to her, I died when he did.”

Yunho sighed. This wasn’t something he missed about being a human. Whether it was Lust upsetting a girl in town by stringing her along, or Greed stealing from the neighbors for the fifth time that week, in Inferno you either fessed up to what you did or Hongjoong made you. And in the end, no one felt guilty. Not just because they were demons, but because Inferno was a shameless environment. You didn’t fear guilt because you were already expected to behave like shit.

“I hope you know that’s bullshit,” Yunho said, continuing when she just shrugged. “Everything happens for a reason. What I say next might be insensitive but had he not passed away that day, or even if you had not argued that day, death is inevitable. It would have found him eventually. And that’s not on you.” He said, taking a swig of cognac.

“What about you?”

Yunho rested his head in his palm. “What about me?”

“I feel like you’ve gotten to know so much about me, but I know nothing about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Something. Anything. Your story.”

Yunho sighed. “Well, I can say that growing up, I wasn’t always this confident or sure of myself.”

“How come?”

“I was a dorky little kid, brown hair, and glasses. Kept to myself and stuttered a lot, so I was the butt of the jokes. My books in the toilet, spitballs, punching, kicking, shoving. The whole package. I lived in a small town in North Carolina, and there weren’t many options to go to school, so the bullying continued all through junior year of high school.”

“What happened senior year?”

Yunho hesitated, not wanting to admit what really happened. He had already said too much. “I moved to the city. Continued my education there. Met my boss there, began entry-level in the company, errands, and shit. Made my way to right-hand man.” He shrugged, pouring himself another glass.

“Well, I’m glad you were able to overcome that. It takes strong people to come out on the other side of harassment. I’m proud of you.” Sarina smiled. “It’s so weird, I just met you less than 24 hours ago, but I feel so drawn to you. It’s like a magnet is pulling me your way.”

“Be careful talking to me that way,” Yunho muttered, his voice dropping slightly. “I’m still a man, after all.”

Sarina rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t meant for you to take that way. Be a gentleman, Yunho.”

After cleaning up, it was time for Sarina to go. She still had all her groceries with her, after all. Yunho walked her back to her building, agreeing for her to come over to his place before her shift. On his walk back, he heard a ding from his phone.

It was a message from Hongjoong. “Be up early tomorrow. Your brothers and I will video chat you in the morning. Need to know your 3-day progress.”

Yunho chuckled. “Okay, mom.” He texted back, before resuming his walk back. He went straight to bed, knowing Hongjoong would call at the crack of dawn.

Yunho’s phone woke him up at 6:00am. Suddenly, his brothers all popped up on his screen.

“Hi, Pride!” Sloth beamed.

Yunho smiled. “Hey, Sloth. How’s it going?”

“Boring. No one else hangs with me down here.”

“What’s so great about hanging out with Pride? I hung out with you last night!” Envy said.

“You sat in my room for 15 minutes and complained about all the things you want but can’t have.” Sloth said.

Envy rolled his eyes. “High standards.” He muttered.

“Yunho, how are things going with Sarina?” Hongjoong asked.

“I think it’s going great. We hung out yesterday, and she’s coming over again today. Then, from here we’ll head to her job. At this rate, I should be able to talk to her about the mission in a couple of days.”

Hongjoong nodded. “That’s what I like to hear. I believe you will complete your tasks with no errors. Take notes, gentlemen. Trust is essential in the process.”

“Rooting for you, Pride!” Gluttony asked bowl of cereal in tote.

Gluttony, I thought we agreed you wouldn’t eat breakfast during the call.” Hongjoong stated, exasperated.

“What breakfast? This is a snack!” Gluttony emphasized.

Hongjoong sighed. “Pride, before you go, I should warn you. When the time is right for you to tell Sarina the truth, your representative color will glow from your chest. This is basically a warning that if you don’t take the opportunity, your success rate drops by at least 50%. So, if you glow, start talking. The same will happen for each of you, so keep it in mind when your time comes. Pride, don’t screw this up. And most importantly, when she asks, tell her everything. I’ll see you when you get back.”

After a collective “Bye, Pride!” from the council, the call ended. Yunho fell into a deep sleep shortly after. He got up from bed a couple hours later, stretching his arms to the sky. He poured himself a bowl of cereal, checking the time. It was half-past 11, Sarina should be on her way soon. He showered after eating, changing into some fresh clothes. An hour later, there was no sign of her so he decided to cook some rice and chicken, the same way she taught him so they’d have something to eat when she did pop up. Time stretched along and still no sign of Sarina. He texted her, letting her know he was waiting. Perhaps she forgot?

More time past and Yunho got worried. It was almost time for her shift to start, and she still had not shown up. Glancing at his phone, he saw she never opened his text either. Checking the file, there were no other places she frequented besides her house, work, and the supermarket, especially at this hour. So, either something happened, or she was avoiding him.

Slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys, he headed out of the house. He reached the curbside and stuck his arm out.

“TAXI!”

He tossed the guy a twenty and stormed into the club, completely ignoring the bouncer. He scanned the room, full of people enjoying happy hour. No sign of Sarina. Instead, the bartender was an older guy, probably early 30s. Yunho slammed his hands down onto the counter.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“Where’s who?” The guy asked although he seemed to know exactly what Yunho meant.

“Sarina.”

The guy shrugged. “Not here. She doesn’t live here, you know.” He chuckled. “Why? You got a crush?” He laughed again, halting abruptly when he saw a glint of purple in his brown eyes.

“Well, if you see her, tell her I’m worried and I came looking for her,” Yunho said sweetly, sarcasm clear in his voice. He turned around and walked out of the establishment.

He didn’t see the bartender text, “He just left.”

Defeated, he headed back to his apartment, figuring it was best to just let her rock for the night and check on her again in the morning. It’s not like they were dating, right? Maybe he was just being paranoid.

Sighing as he entered the house, he removed his jacket before locking the door.

“AH!” He groaned as he felt a sharp pain in his right shoulder blade. Looking over, he saw a butcher knife lodged into his back. He furrowed his eyebrows. Was he being robbed?

“Who the fuck are you?” A hostile voice said.

“Sarina?” Yunho asked, walking into the living room.

“Don’t come any closer, I have more knives.” She said, backing up.

Yunho reached back, pulling the knife out of his back with a grunt. He threw it on the floor. “What are you talking about? I told you. I’m Yunho.”

“I figured you would say that.” Sarina balled up a paper and tossed it at him. “16-year old Jeong Yunho found guilty on several counts of premeditated murder in the first degree in a courtroom in Northampton, NC. Jeong’s victims were found lifeless in their homes with multiple lacerations and acid burns to their skulls, torsos, and legs. The arms of his victims were never found, but it is speculated he broke them before severing-”

“OKAY. Okay, I get it. Enough.” Yunho raised his arm.

“Don’t upset me more. Before I give you another gash.” She warned.

Yunho scoffed, taking his shirt off and showing her his clean, unscathed back. “What gash?”

She blinked in disbelief. “That’s impossible. That was in your back! You pulled it out!”

“Sarina, just let me explain…”

“No! This doesn’t make any sense. This article says you were sixteen in 1990. It’s 2020.”

Yunho’s chest, as if on cue, began to glow a vivid purple. The light shone brightly from his chest, illuminating the entire room. Then, just as quick as it had shone, it diminished into nothing.

“This just keeps getting even weirder. Did you just fucking glow?”

“Alright, Sarina. Listen closely because I’m going to answer your questions. In my childhood, I was bullied for the smallest of reasons. My family wasn’t as well-off as the rest of the town, with my father being the local garbage man, struggling to make ends meet. For the most part, I put up with the taunting, name-calling, having food thrown at me, drinks dumped on me. But the last straw was Daisy Krasdale. Daisy moved to town junior year. I was excited. Finally, someone who didn’t know me since I was in diapers; someone who didn’t see me as just the garbage man’s son. She actually spoke to me nicely, walked the halls with me, wasn’t embarrassed to call me her friend, sat with me in class, and lunch. I finally had someone on my side.” He smiled, reminiscing. “Until Johnny, my main bully ruined it. I was getting ready to head to the movies with Daisy, it was the first time I’d ever go. No one ever wanted to go with me, and I didn’t have the balls to go alone. I was heading out the door when I found a cassette on my doorstep. It was labeled ‘She’s not coming, loser.’ Something told me to take it upstairs and watch it, so I did. It was a sextape. Johnny and Daisy, in bed together. She was screaming for him, while he kept telling her to ‘forget that loser.’ We can both guess who the loser was. At that point, I had had enough. The only person who made me feel seen. Just ripped away from me by some bully. That was the day I changed my focus.” Yunho moved to the couch, taking a seat. “You can sit, you know.” He said to Sarina.

“Thanks, I’ll stand. Just keep going.” She shifted her weight.

Yunho shrugged. “Okay. Well, that day, I actually went to see the movie. Alone. House Party, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It was-what was the word back then? Bitchin’. So, the next week, I went to school like normal. I didn’t talk to Daisy, no matter how many times she tried apologizing. She claimed it was a moment of weakness. I thought she was full of shit. So, I went to school, went home, then went into the basement and conjured up my own homemade hydrofluoric acid. It’s a very easy recipe, Though I’m sure you wouldn’t want to know the details. I produced gallons of it. Stored it under the stairs until Friday. I stayed in my room until 8pm, feigning a stomachache so my mother would leave me alone. She was a sweet woman, married incredibly too young. Anyways, I waited until she had gone to bed to sneak back out. My dad worked early mornings, so he always slept early. I loaded my concoction into my dad’s truck and made it to my first victim’s house. Ritchie Clark, Johnny’s best friend. Well, more like minion. Did everything he asked. He was in his room, studying. I made my way into his bedroom, shoving a bag over his head. It’s funny how quick the tough guys go soft when defenseless. I dragged him out of his house and into the back of the truck. The next guy was Max Turner, and the way I captured him was vaguely similar, but the best part? Johnny. He had just fucked another girl he wouldn’t call back and taken a shower. I was waiting for him behind his bedroom door when he came back in. I bashed him in the head with a wooden bat, before bagging and loading him up too. To this day, I don’t remember how I got all three of them out of the houses that easily. Perhaps I was too delirious to even realize someone did see me. I drove them out to the docks. No one was ever out there at that time of night, so it was the perfect place. I dragged them all out to the pier, removing their bags. They immediately became furious when they saw who it was. Calling me all sorts of insults and shouting threats, until they saw the ginormous canister I had next to me. I made sure to put my gloves on before splashing Johnny on the foot, his skin sizzling upon contact. He screamed into the night, the pier immediately smelling of human flesh. I’ll spare you the details that weren’t in that article, but yes, I burned them to a crisp, created dozens of lacerations and severings. Then, I disposed of their arms, went home, showered, and got into bed.”

“Yunho, where did you put their arms? No one’s ever found them.” Sarina asked, wanting to run but couldn’t move.

“Really? All that info and that’s your question? Well, does it really matter now? It’s been 30 years. And I haven’t even told you the best part. The next morning, Northampton was in for the shock of their lives when three young bodies were found by the water, burned beyond recognition. They began asking around to see who were the last people the boys hung out with were, trying to create a timeline. Of course, I was never thought of. We weren’t even friends. Until it clicked. Who would want these boys dead more than the kid whose life they made impossible? They did a comparison of the tires of my dad’s truck to the tracks found at the pier and sure enough, they were a match. The police stormed into my room, expecting me to be standing there with an assault rifle or something. I was just having a burger with fries my mom made. They read me my rights, blah blah blah. I didn’t deny it. Didn’t flinch, didn’t cry. I just asked to be able to finish my burger. They didn’t have anything like it where I was going. I was taken to the local precinct awaiting trial, where I was tried as an adult and sentenced to death. I spent the next five years on death row in a maximum-security facility. My case was highly televised, so inmates knew of me and left me alone for the most part. It was the most peace I had felt in my life. They questioned me for years over those damn limbs. Bribing me with the chance to get off of death row if I helped them. Bunch of pigs, all of them. They thought I’d help them after all my reports of assault and harassment fell on silent ears? I told them to go fuck themselves. So, they pushed up my execution date.”

“So, how did you escape?” Sarina asked, her hand still tightly gripping the knife in her bag.

“That’s the thing, Sarina. I didn’t. Two days before my 22nd birthday, I was strapped to a chair, in front of a room full of people. The families of the deceased, my parents, random kids I went to school with, and Daisy. Sweet, friendly, foolish Daisy. She mouthed ‘Why?’ to me as I was executed by lethal injection.”

“Yunho, listen to yourself. You’re crazy. How can you sit there and tell me you were executed when you’re sitting right in front of me?”

“You really don’t get it, do you? What pissed the town off so much wasn’t that I killed those guys. It was the fact I didn’t regret it. Not once did I feel shame or remorse for what I had done. In fact, I was proud of myself. I laughed as I felt the poison infiltrate my veins. I woke up in this really hot place. For a second I thought I dreamt the whole execution and was shipped off to Texas. Until a guy picked me up off the floor, took me to his house, bathed and fed me, and gave me a new name.” Yunho stood up, walking towards Sarina. His eyes glowed purple like his chest, and his veins lit up like a motherboard.

“I’m Deadly Sin Pride, the Fiend of excessive self-confidence.”

“Yunho, I said stay AWAY,” Sarina said, piercing him with the knife in her hand. She lodged it into his left pec.

“Ouch. That would hurt if there was still a heart there.” Yunho pulled the knife out and, just like before, the wound closed up, leaving no mark.

“What the fuck?”

“NOW do you believe me? If I had wanted to kill you, don’t you think I would’ve already done that? Why go to your job, get to know you, invite you to my house, by yourself, for hours? Harming you was never my intention.”

“Then why? Why go through all this trouble?”

Yunho sighed, his eyes softening back into the dark brown Sarina was used to. “I’ve been assigned a mission.”

“To do what?”

To take you back home with me.”

“So, your brother, who’s literally the ruler of hell, sent you back to Earth to get me, bring me back to hell, in order to help the imbalance of the sexes?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Yunho shrugged. After hearing him out, Sarina decided to stay. Despite hearing all he had done, she realized he wasn’t the same guy as before, and that he acted out based on circumstances. She may not agree with it, but she can look past it considering how long it had been, and technically, he paid for his crime.

“But I’d never be able to see my family again.”

“Not to literally play devil’s advocate, but you’re on Earth right now, and you don’t see your family.”

Sarina rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.” She pondered it. “If you complete two conditions, I’ll go.”

“Which are?” Yunho asked.

“The first one,” Sarina said, leaning into him, “You let me dom you.”

“Dom? Like in sex?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, in sex, stupid. You’re so full of yourself, so calm and collected, I wanna see you lose control just once.”

Yunho sighed. Well, if it meant getting his mission completed, he could let her take the reins.

“Okay.”

So this is how Yunho found himself in Sarina’s bed, tied to the headboard, wearing nothing but a blindfold and a cock cage, panting heavily.

Sarina climbed on top of him, kissing him, her kisses leading down to his neck and chest. Yunho groaned as he began to harden, his cock feeling the restraints of the cage.

Sarina climbed up further, her thighs on each side of his face as she lowered herself gently. Yunho’s lips found her clit expertly, devouring her pussy with fervor.

“Mmm, you have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this. You underneath me, tied to the bed, with a face full of pussy.” She said, grinding onto his face as her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

Yunho wanted so badly to reach out and grab her, but she tied him up so well he was unable to budge. He alternated from circling her clit to sliding his tongue deep inside, keeping her on edge. Sarina’s fingers weaved into his hair, tugging slightly, causing Yunho to moan. The closer Sarina got to orgasm, the harder Yunho got and the more restraint was put on his penis.

Sarina’s legs started to twitch, her hips stuttering. “Shit, baby. Stick out your tongue.”

Yunho obeyed, and Sarina bucked her hips against the wet muscle, lost in her arousal. Sarina panted heavily, “Yunho, I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum on my face,” Yunho said, his voice muffled by the current predicament.

Sarina’s eyes bolted shut, her knuckles going pale from gripping the headboard. All her actions halted suddenly, her body spazzing as she gasped loudly. “Oh shit, shit, shit.”

She groaned when Yunho continued sucking, causing her sensitivity.

She slid back down, kissing Yunho again. “You did so well, baby. I think you deserve a reward.” She smiled so mischievously, Yunho pondered if she was the deadly sin in this pairing.

He gasped as she removed the cock cage, his cock springing loose and growing harder sans restraints.

“Shit…” He muttered as he felt Sarina take him into her mouth, the lack of sight only heightening his other senses. Sarina bobbed her head at a steady pace, finding her rhythm. She gripped in her hand what couldn’t fit into her mouth.

She sped up as she heard his groans increase. The room filled with Yunho’s pants and the obscene slurping noises from Sarina. She edged him on until she felt his cock twitch. She released his member with a pop!

“Mmm, Baby, don’t cum yet. We haven’t finished.” She said sweetly. Positioning herself on his cock, she slid down, sighing as he stretched her open. They both moaned as they bottomed out. Once she was adjusted, she bounced up and down, the temperature in her body rising as she neared her next orgasm.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Yunho. I’m gonna cum.”

“Rina. I wanna see you.”

Pausing momentarily, Sarina took off the blindfold. Meeting his gaze, she saw how fucked out he looked, and she could only imagine she looked the same. She decided to untie him too, only to be flipped the minute he was cut loose.

Sarina was now pinned to the bed, her thighs in a tight death grip by Yunho, who was hammering into her mercilessly, his head in the crook of her neck.

“You’re so fucking tight, baby. I can tell you’re about to cum. Cum for me, I know you want to.” He said, reaching between their bodies to rub the sensitive bud.

Sarina’s back arched as her mouth fell open, her whole body shaking like a washing machine. Her orgasm triggered Yunho’s, who pulled out just in time to cum onto her stomach. Ropes of white essence painted her stomach like a mosaic. There was silence for a while, both parties catching their breaths.

“You just couldn’t sub the whole time, huh?” Sarina said after a while.

“Shut up, it was long enough.” He said, getting up from the bed. “One condition down. What’s next?”

“You said your mother married young, right? Well if she was as young as you said, she would still be alive. So, the last condition is that you go see your mother, granted we find her.” Sarina said, walking to the bathroom, leaving a very shocked and confused Yunho standing by the bed.

The pair stood outside of Elmhurst Senior Living, with Yunho very much not happy to be there.

“C’mon, let’s go in!” Sarina pressed.

They walked up to the reception desk, greeted by a short, young girl.

“Good Morning! How may I help you?”

“Hi! We’re looking for a resident here, Heeyoung Jeong?”

“Oh yes! Wow, she hasn’t gotten a visitor in years. She’ll be so excited!” The girl beamed. Sarina noticed Yunho wouldn’t look up, feeling guilty for the first time since he ceased being a human.

The girl led them to the elevator, handing them a map of the facility. “Keep in mind, her memory isn’t what it used to be, so it might take her some time to remember you, and don’t be discouraged if she doesn’t! She just hasn’t been the same since Mr. Jeong passed. Make sure to return the map after your stay. Enjoy!”

Sarina thanked the woman as they got on. “What are you thinking?” Sarina asked.

“My father is dead and my mother is all alone. I haven’t seen my dad, so I know he’s most likely in the upper world. Not surprised, he didn’t have a bad bone in his body.”

They arrived at their floor and headed for room 308. A small lady with white hair was sitting in a rocking chair staring out the window.

“Mrs. Jeong?” Sarina said.

The lady turned. “Yes?”

“My name is Sarina, and there’s someone here that wanted to speak to you.” She nudged Yunho.

“Hi mo- Ma’am.” He stuttered. “I was a friend of your son’s, one of the few, and I wanted to say that despite his crimes, he truly did love you. He always thought about you, and what would happen to you when he passed. He would be happy to see you so well treated. I had a few words for his father, but seeing as he’s no longer with us, I’ll just say he wanted him to know he was sorry. For everything. He felt like he failed him, but at the same time couldn’t help what he had done. His only regret was leaving you behind.”

Heeyoung nodded. “And he told you all this, while in cells?”

Yunho nodded. “In the cells, and at lunchtime. We spoke often.”

“Okay, well, thank you for your kind words. I assure you I feel much better after hearing them. Please, come give me a hug, dear.”

Yunho hesitated but eventually embraced the small woman, who whispered into his ear, “I’m old, not stupid. I love you too, son.” She pecked his cheek before pulling away. “Go back to where you came. I’ll be alright here.”

Yunho nodded, whispering “Bye, mom.”

They exited the facility and found themselves in the middle of NC.

“So, what now?” Sarina asked.

“There’s something I have to do first.”

They caught a bus to Northampton and headed for Yunho’s childhood home. It had been foreclosed and boarded up, but it was still standing.

“Come, there’s a back door.”

He and Sarina made it inside the house, which looked just as abandoned as the outside.

“Yunho, why are we here?”

“Downstairs.” He said, heading for the basement.

They make it down the stairs, and Yunho lifts a dusty tarp. Out fell decaying bones.

“They’re still here. I never told the police where they were, and neither did she.”

“A mother’s love knows no bounds?” Sarina shrugged.

Yunho and Sarina stood at the closet back in the NYC condo. Sarina had a small bag with her, while Yunho simply had the file. Yunho looked at her one last time.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go?”

She nodded. “My conditions were met, and like you said, I have nothing really going for me here. Maybe a little hell is just what I need.” She smiled.

“Okay, here we go.” Opening the closet, he pulls the lever he found in there the first day he landed. There was a spark and a portal whirred to life, so strong it caused a great wind.

“Grab my hand, and don’t let go until you feel your feet on the ground!” Yunho shouted.

Sarina nodded, holding his hand tightly. They walked through the portal, immediately descending. When their feet hit the ground, they arrived in Hongjoong’s office. Hongjoong was sitting at his desk, filing paperwork as usual. He looked up, raising an eyebrow.

“Pride, back so soon?” He asked.

Yunho nodded. “The mission is complete, brother.”

“I see. Hopefully, you weren’t forced or coerced into coming here?”

Sarina shook her head. “I wanted to come. Hoping it’s a fresh start?”

Hongjoong smiled. “Fresh starts are always welcomed here. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Hongjoong, or who the humans know me as, Dante. Welcome to Inferno. You’ll meet the rest of the Sins later, but right now I’m sure you want to rest. Pride, take her to your room then come back to the office. I will summon the council to advance to the next level of the mission.

“Brothers, see how Pride successfully completed his mission, and Sarina is now one of us. This is how it’s done. Keep in mind, you don’t have to come back in the same time Yunho did. Don’t make this a competition. Every one of these women are different and they all require different approaches. The next stage of the mission is effective immediately.” Hongjoong opened a new file. “Samiyah Harris.” He said, approaching one of the boys. “Greed, you’re up.”

“Good Luck.”

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manuelmueller · 4 years

Note

pls... do ALL OF IT FOR NUELE

oof fam ooof (jk i LOVE THEM) (i crossed out a few that i had no idea how to answer or wasn’t bothered but OTHER THAN THAT) (yes all those 300 word questions kinda became a short fic you can read on ao3 here)

–––––– I tried to put this under a cut but it kept fucking up so HERE I GUESS

1. What are things they both find funny?

Little things. Weird tweets from their teammates. Leon stumbling over his shoelaces. The way Sven gets exasperated with them so quickly. A leaf blowing straight into someone’s face. Everything can make them giggle, pretty much, cause they make each other gleeful, giggly, bubbling AHHHHHH

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be? “Nikki is … he’s my person.” – “Alex made me realize that love can be wonderful, and kind, and fulfilling, and everything, and I love him.”

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say? Alex would talk about Nikki’s wide smile, his enthusiasm and his unbroken optimism despite going through some shit, his kinda heart and his sunshine personality. Nikki would mention Alex’ resilience, the way how he rises above the shit people talk about him and how he came out being a great person still. Also, the way his chuckles sound in the morning and the way his hair looks like spun copper in sunlight and the freckles on his cheeks and shoulders.

4. What would be their ship name? NÜLE we did a great job pairing up two of the very few dudes who have an ü in their last name huh

5. What activities do they enjoy together? Football (duh), watching dumb TV shows they can laugh at together. Cuddling on the couch. Cooking. Accompanying the other on his respective hobby and whining about how silly it is (Alex goes fishing, Nikki plays golf) but yet loving every second they get to spend with their s/o doing what they love. Also actually another couple they’re friends with kinda drags them hiking sometimes and they actually kinda like it, too.

6. What is/are their love language(s)? Actually probably it’s Quality Time for them both tbh (you could change my mind, tho)

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

READ HERE

8. What were their first impressions of each other? ‘Yeah he’s a talented goalie, I wouldn’t mind to play in his defense .... oh shit is he smiling? He’s smiling. Oh fuck he’s so cute, I’m so gay, help. heLP’ – ‘Süle? Oh yeah, I’ve heard a lot about him. I mean, how could I have not? It’s in my job description to know about the best defenders. Can’t believe it took us so long to meet in person, tho. Nikki it is, okay. Wow, I’m .... is that a spark that I’m feeling? Sure, great idea, develop a crush on your first day on a new team, well done. Is it a crush? (a month later) yep, definitely a crush’

9. Have they made each other cry? with HAPPINESS, yeah

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

READ HERE

11. What causes them to fight? Genuinely can’t picture them fighting, but probably more like jokingly arguing about chores like who should take out the trash. Also football can cause a strain too, I mean, sometimes they lose games and either of them or both are partially to blame and while they’d never blame each other even if it’s true, the unspoken dissatisfaction hovering in the air between them can cause things to be quite awkward for a few hours and one night.

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

13. Name something they would never do for the other person. Lose any kind of game – as athletes they’re quite competitive, even when it comes to board games and the like. Tho they’re not above conceding when it’s obvious they loose.

14. What would be a dealbreaker? Sharing the other’s secrets to someone the other doesn’t trust enough, and also not liking pets (luckily they do)

15. What are traits they dislike in one another? Nikki gets a bit reckless sometimes. Drinking too much, doing vaguely dangerous things cause he’s excited and hyped with his friends (why the heck would you climb on that shed when it’s too high to jump down and you don’t have a ladder?? you already have bad knees, Nikki!) and Alex Worries, ok? Alex on the other hand can get quite broody and taciturn when he’s not okay, not sharing what bothers him even when Nikki asks. Nikki just wants to help, but being stubborn is a goalkeeper thing

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other? Nikki thinks of Alex on windy but bright spring days, and whenever he smells his shower gel. Alex’ rumbling laugh causes the butterflies on his stomach to flutter their wings, and his bare hands when he just pulls his glove on seem to be made to be settled on Nikki’s arms, his shoulder, his waist. Nikki to Alex is a freshly cut pitch, petrichor raising from the streets in summer, warm coca cola from a bottle left outside and forgotten. He’s a sunrise, a smile flashed over the shoulder, a laugh shared with Leon, Jo, Serge, Thomas …

18. What would be their love motto?

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be? “Alex, you taught me everything I know about love. You taught to forgive, to move on and I found a forever home in you.” – “I feel the sun rise every time I hear your laugh, bean, I feel born anew every time I reach for your hand and you take it. I would still be adrift without it.”

20. What is a promise they have made to each other? That they will never let get football between them. No jealousy if one is called up for the NT and one isn’t. If they ever played for rival clubs, they wouldn’t let it get between them. If something happens during a game, it in the end won’t be a factor in their private life. It’s hard sometimes, cause they’re only human, but a vow to try and to resolve things is the best they can do, and they always do

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse? They’re each other’s first boyfriend – Nikki especially has been disappointed/rejected when confessing his feelings before, so he’s really a bit reluctant when opening up to Alex, and Alex does everything he can to make him open up more again on that level and succeeds at it too. Nikki is just a constant sunshine in Alex’ life, who after announcing his transfer didn’t have the easiest time, so it’s really great to have someone who makes him remember the light-heartedness life can have when you spend it with the right people. And well, they both grow quite chatty around each other, and have been shushed by quite a few people who just want to sleep on the bus ride … (from here)

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love? Who can even tell? Who knows if they were both supposed to end up at Bayern. Who knows if they wouldn’t have had someone else from the beginning. When they were born, neither of their families probably expected to have a son-in-law instead of a daughter in law. But they’re happy with the life they got. Happy they got each other. Cause they won’t have it any other way anymore

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

READ HERE

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for? Again, football, when either of them fucks up during a get. pride is a difficult thing to best, sometimes, but they’re learning

25. What moves do they know work on the other? Alex knows exactly how to let his voice dip, knows how to touch Nikki’s waist to make him know, knows what to say and when only uses his voice with deliberation. Nikki is a bit more thoughtless in his approach, often just communicating his appeal unbeknownst to him, because Alex loves him most in those moments when he’s just free, simply himself, laughing and smiling and so beautiful. He doesn’t need to do anything, really, tho if he does, a look is enough.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex? Literally just being close and warm and at home and ofc the thrill of sharing that all not with a stranger you barely know but with someone who knows you inside and out :3 (pun fully intended, in this case)

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share? Nikki is really into Alex’ voice. Like really into it. That deep yet soft voice always makes his spine tingle and his stomach hop and other …. areas interested, as well :3c He also likes Alex’ back especially when it arches so delicately Alex really like Nikki’s tattoos, he’s absolutely fascinated by them and sometimes maybe even wishes Nikki had a few more – tho that’s not a kink really, is it. But they just complete the perfect package that is his boyfriend :’3 But no, in general they keep it pretty vanilla for now, just getting comfortable with each other, learning each other, studying with eyes, hands, lips

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

READ HERE

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves? Alex whispers hushed words into Nikki’s neck, kisses his jawline, lets his hands ran up and down Nikki’s side, skilled, gentle yet insistent and talking of what’s yet to come, teasing and nipping before finally reaching down, creating the contact that Nikki wanted for so long. Nikki lets his hands simply rest on Alex’ hips, his shoulders, his heck, warm and familiar and hot and hotter with every second as he steals kiss after kiss before sliding down, sitting before him, leaning in …

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them. “Alex?” “Bean?” “You look so good. Do you have any idea how good you look?” laughs “Bean, you’re drunk” frowns “Ok, maybe a little. But I love you, you know? I wanna lick you all over.” blushes a bit “Nikki, everyone’s looking.” “Nah, they’re all busy drinking. Dancing. Probably fucking in the storage closet, in some cases” he giggles. they both know who he’s talking about. he puts his chin on Alex’ shoulder “Wanna get out of here?” “Now?” “Hmm.” he kisses his neck, licks gently behind his ear “no one will care. please. let me.” “Yeah? Well, bean, then who am I to deny you” THIS SUCKS!!!

31. What do they love to do after sex? They often just lay there face to face, noses almost touching, eyes almost falling close as they exchange light, playful pecks, hands entwined, legs a tangled mess. It’s all really cute and mushy but they wouldn’t have it any other way – also! laughing!! There’s a lot of cheerful, content giggling especially in the afterglow as they are still entangled in the sleepiness and the amazing feeling of just being together. (from here)

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex? They both quickly wake up in the morning, ready to face the day, but yet … there’s nothing better than half-sleepy morning sex, smiling and tasting the fresh air and each other’s morning breath because of the familiarity, the comfort of gazing upon each other drenched in the first sunlight, not hidden away by shadows. This is real. This is them.

#long post #nüle #my writing #ENJOY :3 #answered

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i-looktothe-stars · 4 years

Text

thanks @s-ongbir-d for tagging me!!

1) what is the colour of your hairbrush?

pink and green

2) what's a food you never eat?

mushrooms are awful and I hate them

3) are you typically too warm or too cold?

I'm usually really cold, my friends joke that I can't thermoregulate because I'll be wearing 5 layers (including 2 jumpers and a coat) and still be shivering)

4) what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

listening to the latest episode of rusty quill gaming! I binged it all in...less than a week(? idk time doesn't exist anymore) so now it's frustrating having to wait for new episodes

5) what's your favourite chocolate bar?

crunchies are top tier and I will fight about that if I have to

6) have you ever been to a professional sports event?

nope! my mum wanted to get tickets to the olympics in 2012 though

7) what's the last thing you said out loud?

"all the doors are open now" (I was singing along to red signal okay)

8) what's your favourite ice cream?

okay the Ben and Jerry's ice cream with the caramel in the middle is So Good, but I also like mint chocolate and coffee (not together obviously)

9) what's the last thing you had to drink?

...probably a blackberry tea this morning? (it's 8pm. hydration? I don't know her)

10) do you like your wallet?

ehhh it's fine, it's just this embroidered black purse with a zip. its juuust big enough to keep my card, train tickets, and some physical money, so it's good enough. I don't really need a bigger one

11) what was the last thing you ate?

I'm snacking on jaffa cakes as I write this

12) did you buy any new clothes in the last week?

for once, yes! I bought the very cool and sexy new magnus merch. unfortunately it's too big so I need to send it back and get a smaller size :/

13) what was the last sporting event you watched?

uhhh idk probably the races at my school's sports day 3 years ago? I skipped two of them because sports day is The Worst, then y11 ended early so I didnt have to watch it

14) what's your favourite flavour of popcorn?

my friends hate me for it but I looove salty popcorn. I can't stand toffee because it's the only one my sister likes, so I got sick of it when we had to share during movie nights when we were younger. (same with ham and pineapple pizza)

15) who was the last person you sent a message to?

my dnd discord! love you guys 💜

16) ever go camping?

my dad lives in wales so yes. a lot. it's fun when it's not raining?

17) do you take vitamins?

no but I probably should

18) do you go to church on sundays?

nope, I've only ever been to church for christingle services with brownies/guides, and that was mostly for the orange with sweets on it

19) do you have a tan?

ahahahahah no, I look like a dying victorian child. last time I tanned, it was because I got sunburned at pride and I had tan lines around my glasses

20) do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

love me some chinese takeaway! (although spicy meat feast pizzas are also very good)

21) do you drink soda with a straw?

only at fast food places, although I usually get iced tea instead of something fizzy

22) what colour socks do you wear?

I have multiple pairs of this one kind of grey fluffy socks, that's like basically half my sock drawer. the rest are either black, or super brightly coloured

23) do you ever drive over the speed limit?

I can't drive yet so no. i was supposed to get lessons for my birthday in march but uhh. that couldn't happen for obvious reasons. i probably wouldn't though? because the speed limit is a Rule and breaking a Rule is Bad

24) what terrifies you?

going outside, phone calls, answering questions in class, windows at night ("because what if there's Something there?")... more like what doesn't terrify me? although honestly, I'm not scared by horror media, as long as it doesn't have any jumpscares

25) look to your left! what do you see?

my book collection! (specifically my regular sized paperbacks. I have a pretty weird organisation system? I split paperbacks and hardbacks, then sort by size, colour and alphabetically by title in that order)

26) what chore do you hate?

washing up. Wet Food Bad

27) what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

australia I guess? idk, what else would i think of

28) what's your favourite soda?

probably apple tango? I don't really drink anything fizzy. except sparkling water because it's great fuck you

29) do you prefer going into fast food places or using the drive through?

none of my friends can drive yet either so going in

30) who was the last person you talked to?

my mum, she wanted me to come and look at the pond she made today

31) what's your favourite cut of beef?

I don't know?? I don't ask what cut it is when I have beef, I just eat it

32) what's the last song you listened to?

red signal by the mechanisms, because sometimes you just need a little bit of eldritch chanting to make everything okay

33) what's the last book you read?

stuff matters by mark miodownik! it's about material science and it's one of my favourite books

34) can you say the alphabet backwards?

lol no what kind of sorcery--

35) how do you like your coffee?

2 sugars and a bit of milk, but I prefer those sweet iced coffees you get at tesco. those were basically the only things getting me through sixth form until quarantine happened

36) what's your favourite pair of shoes?

ok I currently only have 2 pairs, my black and white trainers and a pair of heels that I haven't worn since new year 2019. so the trainers I guess

37) what time do you normally go to bed?

I usually go to bed around 10, but i stay up at least until midnight, usually closer to 2 am

38) what time do you normally wake up?

for school I wake up at 6:30 and get up at 7, because I physically can't get out of bed until I've snoozed my alarm at least 3 times. although at the moment,,,,,,,,,,,probably around 10:30? I set alarms to try and keep some kind of structure... and then sleep through them

39) do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

absolutely sunsets. I live about 10 mins away from the beach, so watching the sky change colour and the stars come out as the sun sets over the sea, with a mug of fruit tea warming my hands... fantastic

40) how many blankets are on your bed?

just one, but I have wayyy too many pillows

41) describe your dinner plates

my parents just get plain black or white sets from ikea or wherever

42) what's your favourite alcoholic beverage?

I Am A Minor And I Have Never Drunk Alcohol I Don't Even Know What Alcohol Is Ha Ha Ha

43) do you play cards?

no, although I used to play solitaire A Lot because it was one of the only games I had on my shitty purple ipod

44) what colour is your car?

train coloured (I don't have a car yet)

45) can you change a tire?

nope

46) what's your favourite province?

I'm english what does this mean

47) what's your favourite job you've had?

I've only really had 3 jobs: I answered the phone when my parents ran a takeaway from home, I work in their cafe every now and again doing washing up or sometimes waitressing, and I used to have a paper round. I Do Not like any of them, but the second is probably my favourite

48) what's the biggest scar you've got?

a surgery scar from my appendectomy 6 years ago,,,,,,,,,,,,I thought it was just really bad food poisoning for maybe an entire week

49) how have you made someone happy today?

I hope I made my friends happy? I really enjoy talking to all of you in our discord server, y'all make me smile so much and I hope I can return the favour

i tag @johnathansims @spookyhetero and @two-am-art if y'all want to get involved

#tag game

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euphoric-melancholyy · 5 years

Text

The Secrets We Keep

I’m on a personal vendetta against “May’s abusive boyfriend” trope so I thought it would be fun to give May a really awesome, loving boyfriend who’s just a little confused as to why she lets her teenage son stay out til 1 every night and sleep somewhere else every weekend. Also, he’s friends with Tony Stark? Chris - May’s new boyfriend - feels like he’s missing something here.

I’m posting this instead of a fic rec today

Also on Ao3 and Fanfiction.net

May Parker hadn’t planned on stepping back into the dating scene, but then again she hadn’t planned on most of the important life events that seemed to shape her. His name was Chris. He was handsome, tan with dark hair and scruff that couldn’t quite be called a beard yet, and hooded green eyes that all the hospital patients commented on. Chris worked alongside her at Queens Memorial, exchanging quips about 90s pop culture and recipes to actually cook for Peter. He cared for his patients with a rare sensitivity to their needs, always trying to brighten their day and learn a little bit about what makes them happy. Like her, he was a widower, having lost his wife eight years prior to cancer. And she hadn’t planned on him crashing her little bubble, being a balm for the isolation of raising a super-powered kid who seemed to attract danger like a magnet. Not that she could tell Chris that.

But even so, he soothed her worries when Peter was out on patrol and being with him felt like relearning how to breathe. It felt euphoric, and scary and soothing and exciting all at once. She wasn’t sure when she had last smiled as much as she did when Chris entered the picture. It didn’t go unnoticed by Peter either, her newfound giddiness after long days at work now more commonplace than exhaustion.

After three dates, she tells her nephew, nervously twirling spaghetti around her fork as she awaits his reaction.

His eyes brighten as she speaks and he puts down his fork, eagerly leaning forward as she tells him about the Italian dinner he made for them on their last date. “That’s great, May! As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I know Ben would feel the same way, by the way."

Peter’s lips are pressed together in a soft smile and she’s not sure why she’d been so worried to tell him. Pride overwhelms her in that moment, of who he is and his kindness, his inability to let the little guy suffer when he knows he can help. She might not love that he’s risking his life as Spider-Man, but she can still be proud of him for it. It coils in her chest with the near constant ebb of fear, but it’s warm and inviting and she’s not sure how she got to raise the best kid in the universe.

"He’d be so proud of you, Pete.” She beams at him before eating a forkful of spaghetti. “Spider-kid.”

“It’s Spider-Man, May.” He protests. “You sound like Mr. Stark when you make those nicknames.”

“Oh, we can’t have me sounding like him, now can we?”

“You already tag team me like divorced parents who stay friends, so I don’t see why not.”

“It’s called co-parenting,” she responds and Peter rolls his eyes.

“So when can I meet this Chris?” Peter asks and she doesn’t even try to stifle her smile at his eagerness. She might not be able to help him with homework or any of his Spider-Man activities, but this - this she can handle.

-/-/-

They set ground rules. The first and most important rule is that Chris can’t know Peter’s Spider-Man, at least not for awhile. It means Peter can’t leave his suit lying around or continue crawling on the ceiling out of boredom or stress or whatever reason he decides it’s a better place to pace than the floor.

They also agree not to tell Chris that he spends half his week with the Tony Stark.

(“People at school already tease me about it being fake and I don’t care, but…it isn’t normal for a random teenager to just hang out with Mr. Stark. And what if he connects Spider-Man? Then that puts him in danger too and I just, I- I don’t want him to know yet May.”)

This is a secret May still thinks she can handle — at least, for a time. If asked, she says that Peter has an internship with Happy Hogan.

And, in some weird twist of fate he never wants to experience again, Peter finds himself giving the talk. He’s beat red the whole time, cheeks flushed as he stammers through his explanation.

(“May, I-I have enhanced senses and um, I can hear your heartbeat. And I can hear a - hear a conversation happening two blocks over right now. So like, if - if he’s gonna spend the night, or something, please for the love of my innocence, let me be at the Compound. Or- or just tell me. I need a heads-up.”

“If your hearing is actually that good, I’m sure you’ve heard worse.”

“Yeah, but not from you and I never want to.”)

-/-/-

The second rule is broken three weeks after Peter meets Chris. Though they get along famously, Peter usually isn’t around when Chris is at the apartment. It isn’t planned, he’s just busy and overcommitted. At this point, it’s only his third time being in the older man’s presence.

They’re all at the table together, eating lasagna that Chris had made when Tony knocks on the door and May answers.

“Ah, Ms. Parker, lovely to see you as always. Mind if I borrow Peter for a few days? It’s for,” he glances at Chris and gives a signature fake smile and nod, “Internship stuff.”

“Uh, Mr. Stark, what are you - what are you doing here?” Peter asks, his voice getting higher the more he talks. “I thought Happy was coming, not that it isn’t great to see you. It is I just - I-”

“Happy’s in the car, kid.” Tony says, smiling to himself at Peter’s nervous rambling.

May sighs and side steps, inviting him in while Peter gets a bag together. “If anything happens to my kid Stark, I will personally come and kill you. FRIDAY will let me in and you won’t even see it coming.” She keeps her face stern for a moment, then breaks into a wide grin. “Chris, meet Tony Stark. Tony meet Chris."

Chris is unsurprisingly starstruck and confused, stumbling over his words in a way that May finds to be the most adorable thing she’s ever seen. "Hi, uh, hi. You’re I-You’re here? And you’re Iron Man. And Peter?” he stops mid-ramble and extends his hand. Tony takes it. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Stark.”

“Likewise. Peter’s told me a lot about you. Speaking of, kid, hurry up. I don’t have all day."

Peter runs back into the common area, backpack in tow and wearing his suit, sans mask, under his clothes. The red spandex peaks out at his wrists. Tony cocks an eyebrow at his protege.

"What?” the teen asks.

“Nothing. Let’s go."

Peter kisses May on the cheek, promising to be safe and update her three times a day, before following his mentor out the door.

-/-/-

The next night, they’re curled up on the couch together with May’s head on Chris’s chest and legs intertwined. The news plays softly in the background but May isn’t really paying attention.

"So when were you gonna tell me that you’re BFFs with a billionaire? With Iron Man himself?” Chris asks, running his fingers through her hair. There isn’t anything accusatory in his tone and May cuddles closer to him.

“We’re not BFFs. He mentors Peter sometimes with… science stuff. It all goes over my head. Peter asked me not to mention it. He doesn’t like drawing attention to himself."

"And Iron Man just whisked Peter off to. . ?” he lets his question trail off.

“Some nerdy science conference in Italy.”

“Damn, that’s-” he pauses, looking at the TV and pointing. On the screen, there’s a breaking news alert about The Avengers fighting another alien army, because apparently normal villains went out of style in 2012. “Wait, that Italy?"

She sees Peter, Spider-Man, next to The Hulk, Iron Man flying above as they fight off their oppressors. Everyone’s there - Cap and Widow and Iron Patriot and Hawkeye, but they are pulled away to another part of the fight. They’ve been fighting for at least half an hour when she watches as Spider-Man is thrown into a building. The bricks break with the impact and it begins to cave and she swears she stops breathing for a moment. It’s another five minutes before she sees him again, red and blue swinging around and webbing up the aliens. Iron Man fires his repulsors at the last big baddie and Hulk smashes their foe’s head half a dozen times.

"Don’t worry. I’m sure Peter’s fine,” Chris offers, his voice low and serious. “He’s at a conference, not fighting these monsters."

"Yeah.” It’s barely above a whisper and she takes out her phone when she gets a message from Peter.

Don’t worry. I’m okay. It’s gonna take more than that to take me out. Tony is going all “dad mode” on me. It’s embarrassing.

May looks up to the TV to see Iron Man cradling an injured Spidey and flying them to their jet. She smiles and types out a response.

I can see that. You did great, Pete. Take an ice bath or something, that looked like it hurt. Love you.

“He’s fine,” she says, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV.

“Told you,” Chris quips, leaning in to kiss her. It’s soft and it calms her nerves in a way she can’t explain. “So, you know Iron Man, but who’s your favorite Avenger?”

“I’m partial to Spider-Man. He is Queens’ local vigilante after-all."

"May Parker, a Spider-Man fan,” he teases. She throws a pillow at him.

-/-/-

“Shouldn’t Peter be home by now?” Chris asks one night. May glances at the time on her phone. It reads 12:33 a.m.

“He has until 1 a.m.”

“Isn’t that kinda late? I mean he’s only sixteen - he could get seriously hurt out there. Or partying and drinking his weight in-”

“He’s fine, Chris. Peter’s a good kid. I trust him.” She looks towards his bedroom door. It’s shut so he can just silently swing in. The crime has been quieter lately - thank god. No alien attacks or evil mutant who has it out for her kid. “His curfew goes back to 11:30 once school starts up."

Chris looks skeptical, but he’s not about to tell her how to raise her nephew. "Whatever you say.”

-/-/-

Peter’s body aches, muscles throbbing with the all-enveloping pain of post battle. Blood trickles down from around his left eye, which is now swollen shut. He cries, a short high pitched wince as he comes back into consciousness, his body pressing against a pile of rubble.

A sharp pain erupts at his most definitely broken ribs and he bites down another cry. He could hear someone calling his name in the distance, their voice muffled as if they were screaming underwater.

“Peter! Spider-Man!"

Peter groans, opening his eye as he tries to recall where he is but there’s a glint of red and gold blocking his sight.

"T'ny?”

“Yeah, bud. You blacked out there for a few minutes and I thought I’d come get you.”

“I’m o-” His word is caught on a hiss of pain as Tony lifts him into his arms and Peter curls into himself. “Shit.”

“Maybe don’t become a ragdoll for steampunk Ursula next time, okay?”

“Wha?”

“Otto Octavious - madman with mechanical arms. I’ll explain it to you when you’re more coherent. Pretty sure you have a concussion.”

Peter wakes later in the dim light of the medbay. Mr. Stark sits in a recliner next to him, checking and promptly ignoring his emails. Peter’s head throbs, his left eye still swollen shut, his body aching, but it’s duller than before, the pull of drugs making his mind fuzzy. He’s been stripped of his suit and looks down to find he’s wearing an old MIT hoodie of Tony’s and…his Hello Kitty pajama pants, great.

“Four broken ribs, a concussion, a skull fracture, and of course there’s that eye - I’ll get you an eye patch and you can cosplay as Nick Fury.” Tony remarks, looking to the kid.

“Better that than these pajamas. Really, Mr. Stark?”

“Punishment for scaring the shit out of me,” he says with a smirk, but the rest of his face betrays his cool demeanor. There’s worry lines etched into his expression that furrow his brow and dark bags under his eyes. His hair is disheveled and Peter has the urge to reach out and fix it, but decides that would be weird. It’s strange to see his mentor like this, so unguarded and worried, and not TV ready. Tony isn’t even trying to hide it, which seems to be the worst part for Peter. He hates that he caused this.

“I’m sorry. Thanks, for - for saving me.” Peter says with a sheepish smile.

“Don’t mention it,” Tony says, reaching a hand out to ruffle his hair. Peter leans into the touch. “Actually do. Please mention it to your lovely Aunt. She gets off at two tonight so I’m gonna drive you back. Don’t worry, I’m sending some Captain America level narcotics with you for all that,” his hand makes a circle in the air, gesturing to Peter’s everything.

Peter gets home at 1:45, the hood of Tony’s sweatshirt pulled over his head in a sad attempt to hide his eye and some dry blood caked into his hairline. The smell of homemade pizza overwhelms his senses before he even walks in the apartment. It’s odd, May rarely cooks especially in the middle of the night.

“Hey hon,” Chris calls as Peter walks through the door. He’s standing in the kitchen, looking in the oven. “I thought I’d make you some dinner befo- oh my god Peter!”

Peter freezes, trying to stifle the panic that’s bubbling in his chest. Chris is already by his side less than a second later, hesitantly pushing the hood off Peter’s head and examining his eye with a concerned what the hell happened?

“Uhh…I was jumped? Yeah. Jumped. I was jumped.”

Chris considers him for a minute, soft gaze searching Peter’s in a way that makes him uncomfortable, like he’s learning something new. “C’mere,” Chris’s says, voice low and laced with so much concern that Peter doesn’t even protest as he follows him to the couch.

“I already went to the doctor. Mr. Stark took me. Really Chris, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Even if you already went, I’m worried and I’m a doctor, and I’d feel a lot better if you let me look. Please, Peter.”

The way he says Peter, it’s not unlike how Tony says his name sometimes, like a whispered prayer for him to be okay, and it breaks his resolve. Slowly, Peter lifts the hoodie over his head and tosses it to the floor. Chris gasps and it’s full of surprise and fear and all the emotions Peter wanted to avoid for at least a week, and Peter chances a look down. His torso is littered in bruises of varying shades and there’s a cut along his stomach. He can feel the medicine Dr. Cho gave him wearing off and it hurts.

“Pete,” the older man whispers, hands held in suspension above Peter’s ribs, like he wants to touch them but he’s terrified of causing anymore pain. “Your ribs…You-”

“They’ll be fine in a few days. I have a concussion too, so can I just,” Peter sighs, resting his head against the back of the couch. It’s soft and comforting and he’s just so ready for this day to be over. “Go to bed, please?”

The door opens in that moment and May walks in. She’s wearing blue scrubs and her hair is tied in a loose ponytail. Immediately she locks eyes with Peter, and her face crumbles as she rushes over. “Peter, baby! I- Tony said you were in a fight, but this…”

“I’m fine, May. Really. It really wasn’t a big deal. It’s not even worth worrying over.”

May shoos Chris to the side and sits down in between them. Her eyes run over Peter in a professional way, ending on his swollen eye. One of her hands goes to cup his cheek, “Okay, first off you cannot possibly say it’s not a big deal when you look like this. What did Dr. Cho say?” Her thumb brushes over his temple and a scowl replaces her worried look. As if wanting to prove her point, a gut-clenching pain shoots through him and he pulls his knees to his chest, sucking in air when his ribs protest painfully.

“A couple of broken ribs, skull fracture…” Peter whispers, wishing his metabolism didn’t work its way through all the painkillers in five minutes.

“And a concussion,” Chris reminds, his hand resting on May’s knee.

They look like a team, Peter thinks, and May’s presence had calmed Chris’s erratic heartbeat the moment she came home. The idea elicits pangs of guilt on top of everything - guilt at the lies he and May have concocted to keep his identity of Spider-Man safe. He wonders how hard it’s been on May and Chris’s relationship, how many white lies she’s had to tell, but he pushes the thought down and focuses on the throbbing in his head instead. At least that can be dealt with, he thinks, and asks May to get his medicine from his backpack. She hands it to him with a sad gleam in her eyes. It makes him want to crawl under the nearest blanket and hide from their sympathetic glances.

“Really May, it’s nothing I can’t handle. Just everyday stuff,” Peter tries to reassure her.

“Peter, you were jumped,” Chris says, his tone serious. “That’s not an everyday thing, or at least I hope not. It’s a big deal and it’s scary. Your ribs are broken for god’s sake. Your eye is swollen shut. I just-” Chris pauses, looking down at the cut along Peter’s ribs. May’s brows furrow in confusion at the mention of Peter being jumped, but she quickly schools her expression.

May sighs. “We’ll let you get some rest, okay superhero?” She offers her hand to help Peter get up. He takes it and stands. “Call if you need anything. We’ll be right here.”

“Thanks May. Thank you, Chris.”

He’s asleep not even ten minutes later, lulled by the concerned whispers of May and Chris from two rooms over. When he wakes the next morning, his body is sore, but his eye is almost back to normal.

-/-/-

Five months have passed when May wakes to the shrill of “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath playing from her phone at 3 a.m. Peter had thought it’d be funny to set it as her ringtone for when Tony called and she never got around to changing it back. Her bedroom is coated in darkness, save for the light from her phone and she squints at it. Chris is wrapped around her like a koala, arm slung over her stomach and lips pressed to the back of her shoulder.

“ ‘Ello,” she yawns as she answers, her eyelids drooping and the remnants of sleep threatening to pull her back in.

“May,” Tony’s says, his voice serious and raw with emotion that she’s never heard from the billionaire and it scares her, wiping away all the tiredness and replacing it with fear. May shoots out of bed, trying to keep her breath even but it fails. “Peter’s alive, first off, so don’t worry about that. He’s okay, kind of, well, he will be. He’s - he was shot earlier on patrol - twice. The damn kid. And Happy is on his way to get you, he should be there in ten minutes, so-”

“Peter was shot?” she whisper-screams, the words knocking the air from her lungs. And she can’t help it, the way her mind immediately goes to Ben on that fateful night, Peter at the police station covered in her late husband’s blood, silent sobs racking his body. The edges of a panic attack seeps in at the memory and her heart is going to beat out of her chest and she can’t breathe, she can’t breathe, can’t breathe, can’t-

She hears someone call her name, but she isn’t sure where she is anymore, and her mind takes her back to that first night without him, an inconsolable Peter wrapped around her muttering apologies between broken sobs. Peter didn’t go to sleep until noon the next day. She’s at Ben’s funeral, and there’s flowers everywhere - bright and vibrant and sickening wisps of color among black suits and dresses and her husband’s cold body. Everyone comes up and shakes her hand, offering words of comfort and food, but she doesn’t want any of it. Peter’s at her side and she squeezes his hand, tries to reassure him (and herself) that it’ll be okay. Peter nods, his eyes red and his motions slow and robotic and Peter-

Peter. This is about Peter. Peter’s been shot.

Her world comes back into focus and she sees Chris kneeling in front of her, sleep mussed hair and wide green eyes full of concern. His thumb wipes at a tear on the apple of her cheek and she presses the phone to her ear. Tony is still talking, telling her to breathe and that Peter’s okay and Happy’s almost there.

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out a sob. “Tony, I…”

“It’s okay. He’s gonna be okay. He has to be okay,” he pauses. “Do you want me to stay on the line?”

She leans her head on Chris and her eyes flutter closed. He wraps his arms around her and it’s grounding. Peter’s alive. Peter isn’t Ben. Peter’s alive. She repeats it over and over, a silent mantra and she realizes both Chris and Tony are waiting for a response. “I…” she speaks into her phone. “Chris is here. I- I’m okay,” May hangs up and turns her attention to Chris.

“Peter was shot. He - I have to go. I - Happy, he’s outside I gotta-”

“Let me go with you,” Chris says. And god, she wants him too. She wants to curl into his side in the car and tell him everything, but she knows she can’t do that to Peter. Not right now. He asked her to keep his identity safe, to keep Chris safe, and that’s the least she can do when her nephew is out saving the world every night.

“I need you to stay at the apartment, please I- I know you want to come, but I need you here. I’ll be back in a few days. I just - I’m sorry, I need to go.” She kisses him, soft and quick and rushes out the door before he can protest.

-/-/-

Unable to process the night’s frightening turn of events, Chris is left standing at the doorway. He had called multiple hospitals looking for Peter, but none of them seemed to have anyone that matched his description. It wasn’t until May called the next morning saying that Peter was okay and recovering at the Avengers Compound, that he figured out why.

Why is he at The Avengers Compound, May? That’s insane he had said, but she acted as if it was normal, saying that Tony preferred treating him there. When he asked about what happened, she said it was an unfortunate wrong place, wrong time, but that it didn’t matter now because he was okay.

Now, five days later, Peter and May were coming home. He waits inside the apartment for them, pacing the living room as he cleans the countertops for the seventh time in the few days they’ve been gone. He can hear laughter down the hall and it takes him a moment to realize it’s them. Peter is rambling excitedly about something - he can’t tell what - and he stops as the door opens. What he doesn’t expect is to see Tony Stark behind her, his arm around Peter’s shoulder, beaming at a perfectly healthy, energetic kid. It throws him for a loop how domestic they look.

Like a family.

And that’s when it hits him. The internship, the nights at the Compound, the easy banter, Stark taking care of him after he’s injured. Chris pauses his inner monologue, sweeping the group from head to toe with his gaze. “Wait…Is Peter Tony’s secret son or something?”

Fin

#irondad fic #spiderson fic #irondad and spiderson #iron dad and spider son #peter parker #tony stark #alex writes #my writing #let me know if you like this please #may parker #in this house we love and respect aunt may #irondad and spiderson fic #iron dad and spider-son

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sinfullystanning · 5 years

Text

Begin Again

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: Fluff

A/N: Based on an idea I had late last night.

Summary: Sam had been unsuccessfully trying to get Bucky back in the game until he had a chance encounter with a kindred spirit.

You were standing at one of those tall tables squished into the back of the bar, shifting your weight from one heeled foot to the other uncomfortably, silently wishing one of your feet would just fall off so you’d have a reason to leave that wasn’t what your friends would describe as chickening out. People pressed up against you from time to time and your fingers fidgeted with the edge of your napkin in an attempt to distract yourself from the pressing need to shout at the complete and probably inebriated strangers to stop touching you. The room reeked of alcohol and bodily fluids, and you tried your best to breathe through your mouth lest the smell caused you to pass out. One of your hands was wrapped around a glass that held a virgin Cuba Libre that you were hoping no one could tell was just a fancy name for coke. Alcohol had never really been your thing, and the idea of getting loose around complete strangers was not exactly your dream Friday night. Glancing at your phone you wondered for the thousandth time that night if you’d been here long enough to go home. Just as you were about to chug the last your drink and head out, pride be damned, a man came up to your table, placing a bottle of beer on the opposite side before leaning his forearms on the table chancing a glance over his shoulder before facing your curious expression. You’d been here for hours and he was the first person that wasn’t on staff to even acknowledge your presence.

His cautious expression melted into an apologetic one as he rubbed a hand over the scruff of stubble on the lower half of his face. “Look, I know this is probably really weird, but my friend keeps bringing me to bars and he’s dead set on getting me with a girl and honestly I just need a break so I can I just hide out here for a while.” You blinked, surprised. “Unless you’re here with someone of course.” He sputtered, clearly uncomfortable, glancing around looking for your nonexistent companion.

“Nope, the only one here with me is loneliness and I’m sure even he’s starting to get bored of my company.” You fidgetted with the bracelet on your wrist, not meeting his eyes as you gave a self-deprecating laugh. The mystery man chuckled before running a hand through his long dark brown hair, pushing it back away from his face, probably unconsciously.

“Well, I hope he doesn’t mind if I take his spot, then.” You shook your head, still shy. “I’m Bucky.” He stretched out a big strong hand that you nervously took in yours.

“Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. You know, maybe it’s not my place, but you look about as miserable as I do here so where’s your captor?” He ducked his head, trying to catch your eyes that were very fascinated with your hands at the moment. Sensing his movements you looked up to accidentally meet the most beautiful pair of eyes you’d ever seen, a melancholy mixture of icy blue and lonely gray that you wanted to dive right into. You shook your head, surprised at your embarrassing thoughts, flushing as you took a sip of your drink before answering him. “Well, mine’s a little less corporeal, I call her my pride and she’s probably hooking up with loneliness in the bathroom as we speak.

At that, Bucky burst out laughing, tossing his head back, eyes scrunched shut in joy. You couldn’t help but smile at his amusement. “You are hilarious.” He said as he straightened back up, leaning his head in one hand as he watched you. “But seriously, you’re here all by yourself? Why bother if you don’t want to be?”

You sighed, sipping your drink again before continuing. “Well, I live with five of my friends from college, and as of two weeks ago, all five of them are in relationships. Tonight, they’re on probably the world’s most ambitious quintuple date so I guess I decided I should do something to change my status from the world’s biggest third wheel to something else. Yeah, I could have come with them one day, but I really want to do this on my own terms. No half-drunk bestie shoving me across the room towards the nearest hot guy. I’m more of a conservative dater even if the rest of the world has moved past that.” You shrugged, surprised at how much you were telling some stranger you’d just met. “How about you? You said your friend wants to set you up? Is it all pure intentions or does he just want a wingman?”

Bucky laughed at that. “Well, it's technically all pure intentions, but nothing seems pure when it's the exact opposite of what you want to do, you know?” You nodded, understanding completely. “I’ve been out of the game for a while and he’s just trying to help me get back in, I’m just not sure it’s something I want to do yet.” You pushed a hand through his hair again.

“Were you in a long-term relationship or something? What kept you ‘out of the game’ until now?” You asked before adding. “Sorry that was really nosy, you don’t have to answer that.”

“No, you’re good.” He reassured you. “Just life, mostly, work, in particular, doesn’t leave a lot of room for that sort of thing.” You could tell he was trying to simplify something way bigger than the bubble the two of you were in but you let it slide, it was none of your business.

“What do you do?” You asked, carefully. Harmless question, right?

He scratched his chin before answering. “Former US Army, now a bit more of a specialized soldier.”

“Damn.” The word slipped out before you could stop yourself. You had tried to ignore it before, but Bucky was definitely not built like the average guy in here. His body was broad with decently muscled arms from what you could see under his long sleeves. Now that you knew what all that was from, it made sense. “Who wouldn’t want to date a soldier through? Every girl likes a man in uniform.” You pointed out, finishing off your drink and pulling a piece of ice into your mouth.

Bucky chuckled, “Maybe, but most girls aren’t exactly thrilled about a guy having so many guns in his closet.”

“Well, something’s got to keep those skeletons company.” You pointed out and Bucky laughed.

“Y/N, I don’t think I’ve ever met another girl like you.” He mused, shaking his head in wonder.

“Oh thank God, otherwise the whole world would dissolve into a nihilistic black hole.” You said, flagging down a waiter. Bucky threw his head back laughing again as the waiter approached the table.

“I’d like another virgin Cuba Libre, please.” You said, handing him your empty glass.

The waiter’s face drew into a condescending smirk. “Virgin Cuba Libre, sweetie? Don’t you mean a coke?” Your face turned red with embarrassment and you looked down at the table, cheeks flaming.

“No, I’m pretty sure she meant a virgin Cuba Libre.” Bucky’s voice made you peek up through your lashes. “And I’ll take another beer. You can put both of those on here.” He handed the waiter his credit card, giving him a firm look that said ‘get lost’ all over it. The waiter gave him a disgusted look before leaving the table. You felt a hand cover your own. “Hey, are you okay?” You lifted your head to see Bucky peering at you, worry in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you straightened, pushing your hair out of your face and trying to keep yourself from folding in on yourself out of embarrassment. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What was that guy’s deal?” He said, glancing back towards the bar. “He didn’t have any right to treat you like that.” Bucky turned back to you, a sincere look in his blue eyes.

You shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe I’ve been hogging the table all night.”

“Well, you aren’t anymore,” Bucky said, grinning. “We are.” You felt your stomach flip at the sight of his smile. “Maybe I should go ask for a military discount.” He glanced back at the bar again, chuckling.

“He’d probably kill you.” You said, laughing.

“Well, at least he didn’t spit in our drinks,” Bucky said as the waiter approached the table again, holding your glass and Bucky’s bottle. He didn’t say anything as he set down the drinks and handed Bucky his card back. The moment he was out of earshot, the two of you burst out laughing, Bucky holding his sides and you holding a hand over your mouth as you shook with it.

***

As the evening progressed you found yourself more and more attracted to Bucky, hanging on his every word as he told you horror stories from previous bar trips and you paid him back with your own escapades. Finally, your conversation was interrupted by a voice calling his name from across the bar and Bucky excused himself as he went to go see what his friend, who you’d learned was named Sam, wanted. You took his absence as an opportunity to check the time and your jaw dropped as you realized it was 1:30 and you had dozens of missed calls and texts from your friends. You craned your neck to see where Bucky had gone, but you couldn’t see him. Pressed for time, you pulled a pen out of your purse.

***

When Bucky got back to the table you were nowhere in sight. He looked around but didn’t see any signs of you. Another girl that had ditched him. This time he’d thought he’d actually had a connection with you, unlike the other girls that he’s half-heartedly forced conversation with over the past few months. He shoved a frustrated hand through his hair, and just as he was about to go ask the bartender if he’d seen you leave, his eyes caught a napkin pinned under his empty bottle on the table. He picked it up and a smile spread across his face as he read the note that you’d hastily scribbled onto it.

“Sorry Bucky, I had to run, but call me! -Y/N” followed by your number. Bucky grinned as he pulled his phone out, entering your number into his contacts before placing it and the napkin into his pocket, heading back to where Sam was entertaining a few other women by the bar.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #the winter soldier #the winter solider x reader #sebastian stan #wingman sam #meet cute

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ahnsael · 5 years

Text

I’m back at the hotel. I’m beat. But dang it, that was a great time.

I got to meet up with Andrew today (he texted me while I was on the Submarine Voyage and I didn’t see it until I got off, but the timing was perfect -- when I replied and told him where I was, it turned out that he was right on the other side of the Matterhorn). We watched the Tiki Room together before he went home to work on school stuff.

I didn’t run into anyone else I knew today (no random encounters with former bosses like yesterday, even though I kept my eyes open for one in Star Wars Land).

I’m rambling again, but this time I’ll include a cut so I don’t take up as much of your dashboard as I did this morning.

One thing I found amusing: after going to Oga’s Cantina, I decided to buy a DJ R3X Funko Pop (it was that or the DJ R3X bluetooth speaker, but...we’re talking $25 vs $150). I remembered seeing them earlier in the day, and I went to every store in Batuu trying to remember where I saw them. In the last store, I asked the cashier for help.

“Um, I think those are sold off-planet. We don’t have them on Batuu.”

(Which seems odd since that’s where DJ R3X actually is.)

I took the hint and realized that I must have seen them in the Star Trader, so I went there and sure enough, there they were.

But I wondered, if I really didn’t get it, if he would have been more specific. Like, I get that cast members are strongly encouraged to play roles in that part of the park (I overheard one lady talking about a friend’s ex-boyfriend who got his arms ripped off by Chewbacca for doing her wrong -- some people are INTO their roles, and I dig it), but...if I had been confused by the “we don’t sell them on Batuu” statement instead of putting together the clue, would he have sent me to Tomorrowland?

Ooh, a good hint could have been “I believe the travel company Star Tours services a planet where they are sold, maybe check the shop in their terminal if you happen to find yourself in that part of the galaxy.” That way he can keep it “in-universe” while being more specific.

Of course, he may have already thought of all that, and just didn’t need to use it because what he said was enough to remind me that I’d seen it in that other part of Disneyland that is full of Star Wars stuff, and I told him that I now knew where I had seen it.

This whole trip, cast members were great (with one singular exception, but not enough to mention it to anyone in authority -- she may have been having a bad day). Sure, there were cast members who weren’t 100% in it (but, honestly, I probably saw more great examples of great cast members in the past two days than I have in the past several trips combined); there were those I overheard talking about the party last night, or a dating issue that two security guards were talking about at the bag check, but...that stuff is going to happen all the time (and the guards did stop talking about it as I went through the metal detector and then gathered my things from the tray to re-stock my pockets with my wallet, phone, portable phone charger, charging cable, and the trading pins I brought, which I didn’t trade in the end because nothing I saw on cast member lanyards seemed “better” to me -- but I had a LOT squeezed into my pockets so I could avoid bringing a backpack or fanny pack so it took me a little time to get back together when I went through Security).

There was one cast member at the Temple of the Forbidden Eye today, though, that bugged me. We were in the film room and she was telling people to fill in all the available space (odd to me, since the FastPass merge point is at the temple entrance, and then I walked all the way to the atrium before running into the rest of the line inside, so it’s not like she was trying to get more people out of the hot sun -- as a guest I hear “fill in all available space” and I think “How many of these people are going to try to use this to cut ahead of other people in line?”).

She, in a very monotone voice, just kept repeating “Move forward, fill all available space, side by side, two by two, three by three.” I heard her repeat that, verbatim, at least 15 times within just a couple minutes. It was just annoyingly repetitive, especially with the same “ugh, why don’t these people get it?” tone that came across.

But, again, maybe she was just having an off day.

And while I’ve had rides on the Submarine Voyage before, years ago before it was a Nemo thing, where a more accurate name would have been “body odor in a tube,” today was something else.

I mean, I’m in there for maybe 15 minutes with a handful of people who figured that since they were going underwater in a submarine today, they could skip the shower. And it was...like...GAG bad today. Even in the Tiki Room with Andrew, I was still coughing like I was trying to get the stench out of my throat (not HIS stench -- I detected no noticeable smell from him at all -- just from having breathed in the B.O. Cigar before that).

But I really feel for the pilot. They’re right in the middle, higher than the rest of us (and in comics, “stink lines” always go up, so I assume they do the same in real life). I hope they’ve got better ventilation up there than those of us under sea level have. Otherwise that’s got to be a miserable position to be in.

My portable phone charger worked like a charm, though. While I carried it and the phone in separate pockets most of the time, it was small enough that the two times I used it today, I could put it and the phone in the same pocket with my lightning cable connecting them.

When I got in line for the Submarine Voyage, I was down to about 30% battery (and this was at noon, about three hours after I got to the park). I got off the attraction at about 12:35, and I was already up to just over 80% (and the remaining battery in the charger was still 94%).

Granted, as I kept using the phone as it charged (I’d just bring the phone and charger out of my pocket together and hold them back to back as I used the phone), it was about 3 hours later that I unplugged it with the phone at 92%.

I recharged again later while I was in Oga’s, and got back up into the 80% range in the 45 minutes that I was in line for Oga’s and inside (I didn’t use my full 45-minutes of allowed time -- the sun was BEATING down on the line to get in, as I knew from having been out there, so I figured I’d help people get into the shade since I’d already had my two drinks).

Oh, and the Disneyland app LOST my Oga’s reservation.

Twice today it forgot everything about me. Even though I used its “touch ID” feature to sign in when needed, on one of those times I put my thumb on the main button and the app said I had entered the wrong password. I had to reset my password.

Then, even though I had seen the reservation for Oga’s on the app on my walk from Pirates (had to ride that one a second time) to Galaxy’s Edge, when I got there the reservation had completely vanished. There is a Guest Relations podium with a computer at the center of the three entrances to Galaxy’s Edge, so I stopped by there and said “This is probably going to sound like I’m making it up to get something I didn’t actually reserve, but...I had a reservation for this hard-to-get-into place and now it’s gone.”

(I didn’t think about the fact that I had an email verification...but at the same time, I also had email verifications for two other times since I modified the timing of the reservation twice this morning).

But the Guest Relations cast member assured me that if I did indeed have a reservation, then Oga’s would have my name, and I would be fine. And, sure enough, when I got there and explained, they asked for my last name and the time of my reservation, and verified that I did indeed have it.

But the Guest Relations guy said that they’ve had a lot of these types of glitches with the app.

I mean, it is a complicated app on their end -- keeping track of dining reservations and FastPasses for tens of thousands of people per day can’t be an easy feat. So I won’t say “Disney has got to be better than this” but...it would be nice. But still, the reservation wasn’t LOST lost, just lost on my end. They still made good on it, so I’m happy.

I can’t wait to do this again someday...but next time I may fly and pay for a shuttle to whatever hotel I stay at (this one isn’t bad; about a 20 minute walk to the main gate, but I could see maybe spending a little more to be closer next time). That drive into SoCal was rough, and I have to make it in the other direction tomorrow. It would probably be more expensive to fly, but would be an ease on driving stress.

I have zero regrets about the past couple of days. And maybe the date no-show was a blessing in disguise. I do like her, and it’ll be interesting the next time I talk to her to see whether she’s mad at me for not trying harder to get her here with me or whether she just actually blew me off, but...thinking back over the past couple of days (plus the day before, when I “met” her -- we had seen and talked to each other several times in the casino, but that was the first time that I spent that much time talking to her and ended up with the whole crush thing going on), either (1) I would have been moving too fast for her (she mentioned on that morning in the casino that she couldn’t believe how quickly I walked -- and I’m even faster in the park), or (2) she would have been annoyed at how I bounced around instead of taking the park in a clockwise/counter-clockwise direction (especially today -- I kept booking whatever the next available FastPass was until I had FastPassed everything, then I FastPassed some of them again), or (3) mad because she came all this way for me to call it an early both days of the trip (granted, I probably would have struggled through if she was keeping up, just out of pride, but still...whether that happened or not she would have gotten gross sweaty Kenny, not suave tie-wearing casino manager Kenny).

All in all, to the best of my recollection, here’s the list of rides I got in (not in the order I did them, but in the order that they’re listed on the Disney Wiki):

• Main Street Cinema (so glad they rescinded the “put merchandise in there” thing) • Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters (I didn’t score as well as I would have liked, especially since I KNOW the diamond-shaped targets are worth the most -- my aim just wasn’t good today and I got just over 100,000 points) • Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (I had heard that the show building was drained and that the subs just ran through a trough of water in the middle of otherwise dry scenes -- and while that seemed true in some scenes, in others I could see the surface of the water in the distance; I’d love to see a “water map” of that show building). • HyperSpace Mountain (twice -- once as a walk-on in the standby line with a 3 minute wait, the second with a FastPass because I HAD to do that one again, it was amazing, and it put Smuggler’s Run to shame). • Star Tours (every scene after leaving the spaceport was new to me). There was no Rebel Spy on our flight. After the cast member left the cabin and we heard the gangplank move out of the way, there was a couple minutes where nothing happened, then we heard an announcement that it was “taking longer to load R2D2 than anticipated,” and then when the ride did start and the Stormtroopers stopped us to check for the rebel spy, the area of the screen that is usually a photo of someone in the StarSpeeder was just a blank rectangle (and we had no empty seats, so it’s not like the cast member hit some “choose random” button and the computer chose someplace at which nobody was sitting). Still better than Smuggler’s Run. • Okay, why does that Wiki still list “Innoventions” as a “current” attraction? It’s been the Star Wars Launch Bay for a while now (and is currently closed so I didn’t go in). Then again, it also lists the Starcade as a “current attraction,” so maybe that wasn’t the best site to link to. • Snow White’s Scary Adventures. This one pissed me off. Nothing about the attraction itself or the cast members therein (though I was disappointed to see that the brass “book” at the entrance has been worn down to the point where it’s almost impossible to read the indented words). But I was in line behind a family. One lady, two guys, two kids. The two guys were going out of their way to tell the kids (probably one three years old, the other four) that the Evil Queen was going to throw them in her dungeon. And throwing in evil laughs (which I’m afraid I may have prompted because I touched the brass apple at the entrance and elicited an evil laugh from the Evil Queen, which they were emulating). By the show scene in the queue (where there’s a spell book an fake stairs and a bunch of money people have thrown in there for some reason but I know it goes to charity so do your thing if you’re ever tempted to throw money in there) they were telling the boy that they were going to put him in there, even lifting him up the bars in the windows and telling him that they could fit him through and that he’d be trapped forever. The mom was trying to reassure the kids that it was “a baby’s ride” and that it wasn’t scary (meanwhile I’m thinking of the dungeon scenes, and the scary forest, and the fact that “Scary” is IN THE NAME OF THE ATTRACTION FOR A REASON and that the kids are going to get off hating that she lied to them, but MORE angry at the guys who instilled all this fear into the kids, and then MADE FUN OF THEM for being scared. I had hoped the kids would handle it okay, but when I got off (I was in the car behind them), they were still in the exit walkway and the boy was crying so hard after the ride that he was drooling. People don’t realize how well kids remember things like this (as I can say from personal experience). I saw the cast member (who hadn’t heard everything that I had heard) hesitate before letting them ride, but I can’t blame him -- that’s on who I’m guessing was the kid’s dad and uncle (I don’t know those relations for sure, but both of those guys were complete assholes). I hope the kid ends up okay -- that came across, to me, as a scarring experience for him, and I hope I’m wrong. • Pinocchio’s Daring Journey -- I thought I was filming this one, and was really proud of how I framed everything as the ride went on (I was in the front row, holding my phone on the front of the vehicle, and adjusting the angle to get everything JUST right -- then realized at the end that I had been in photo mode, not video mode. I took a photo of an empty part of the queue as the ride started (which was blurry so I deleted it), and got no video at all. • The Sleeping Beauty Castle walk-through -- a group passed me in the first set of scenes, and literally tried to open every single door in the castle. Fortunately for Disneyland, all of those doors were locked. The effects in there have come a long way since I was a kid. • It’s a Small World. I live-broadcasted this one on Facebook, then got a copyright violation. I thought that song was copyright free, as it was written by the Sherman Brothers and then not copyrighted since they wrote it for UNICEF as “a gift to the children of the world.” I contested it, but then I researched and it seems that maybe the song WAS copyrighted (and the copyright renewed). I sent Facebook a message telling me that they could re-mute the video since I had already claimed that I had permission to use the song (since I thought nobody owned it -- maybe it’s just the attraction recording that is copyrighted?). It got more attention on Facebook (both from Facebook and from friends) than I thought it would. • Matterhorn Bobsleds - Only one side working still after part of the mountain fell off not long ago. The side that was working (the right side/Teacups side) was not the one I thought would be working; but there’s still scaffolding and scrim up next to the Main Street-facing waterfall (which is currently turned off) where the rockwork fell off • Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. I rode it twice. Both times were on train #4. I was just glad it wasn’t train #6. They have a new track and, I’m told, new trains since the accident (I rode it once after the crash that killed Marcello Torres on the old track but never rode it again until the track replacement because I didn’t feel safe). But train #6 was the one that crashed in 2003 (it crashed twice more after reopening from the initial crash, though those ones were minor incidents of trains bumping into each other at the station). I didn’t do “the goat trick.” • Mark Twain Riverboat - This was the attraction on which I closed out my trip. A nice, relaxing ride around the newly-shortened (at least “newly” since the last time I was here” around the Rivers of America. Another guest pointed out kids on the WRONG SIDE OF THE RAILING along the river, and the cast member acted quickly. Good show, guest who reported it and cast member aboard the boat who handled it. • Jungle Cruise - Don’t remember skipper’s name (I was half-asleep by this point). They were middling-to-good. Decent deliveries, not the best bote of guests (it’s spelled “bote” when it’s the Jungle Cruise). • Indiana Jones - I mentioned my beef with one particular cast member. Do the “air jets” that are supposed to signify things landing on you ever fool anyone? Even when the attraction opened, it was an obvious play. • Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room -- saw this with Andrew (aka disfan here but he hasn’t posted in almost a year). My parents and lil sis were in Walt Disney World last month and the version they saw was shortened, mine was not. So I have that over them • Haunted Mansion Holiday -for the fist time (even though I had been here once since his re-debut) --- worked, and the effect is amazing. • Splash Mountain -- I tried to keep my phone dry. I succeeded (last time I was on this I broke my stepdad’s cell phone with water damage so I’n GOOD now since I kept my phone and charger dry), • Splash Mountain -- I did Single Rider and the cast member told me to go over a bridge that was roped of. My first time separating/disconnecting ropes since I was a cast member.

#Kenny goes to Disneyland #the 'suave' bit is a joke I am anything BUT 'suave'#if I was suave she would have actually shown up

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