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calumthoodshands · 3 years

Text

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation!

thank you @burstingsunrise and @daydadahlias my dear friends this is terrifying for my baby writer ass but i guess i’ll try! Under the cut

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: seven

2. Word count posted for the year: 164,489

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 5sos only!

4. Pairings: so far we’re cake exclusive but well i’m caught up in a story since literally march so

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments:

all of them and surprising to no one, are from Days in the sun. i sometimes lose my mind a little when i look at the number of kudos being over 100. how. how!! and so many comments!! over 30!! bat shit insane. i’m glad people like it but it does stun me every day

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

i’m gonna name two bc the reasons are different. Dits, because it’s the biggest fic i have written and ever will write, bc i managed to keep a story up in over 130 k words without losing the plot, bc i myself love the world i created in it. everytime i finish a chapter i’m baffled at myself that i’m actually doing this. that i’m writing this fic for soon a whole year.

the second one is probably The easy way out. it’s in no way a particularly outstanding fic, its not long or incredibly short or anything, but i’m proud of how it came to be. i wrote it in one go in just a few hours, i got the exact vibes across that i wanted, and it even did quite well for some reason. i like it a lot

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

i do have a fic i am not proud of but i dont see a point in mentioning it

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

okay i want to mention several people bc im me and these all made me cry

starting off with megs @igarbagecannoteven bc seriously every comment she leaves on dits makes my heart hurt bc theyre so detailed and really make me believe that i’m not just doing nonsense but actually. like. having an effect on people with what i’m writing. i appeciate it more than i can put into words

second of all was that one time i got a random ask from c @soggyburgers and it was in the very beginning still and out of all fics, about my sad fic high above the city lights. i couldn’t believe someone actually read my stuff. and thought it was good. i seriously think about that message almost every month at least once. i’m still sorry i made you cry, c, i hope you’ve forgiven me

third, and a must for me to mention is the playlist des @cakes-curls made all by herself for dits. when i tell you i cried for half an hour. that my fic had such an impact someone would actually sit down and invest the time to find songs that fit the fic and the vibes????????????????? i’m. i can’t. i’ve talked about it a lot of times already and still dont know what to say to express how much it means to me.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

i had a huge writer’s block at one point. i think it took me a month to finish a 3 k word chapter. but also right now, i was struggling with the new chapter for dits, then i was gone over new years, and i have so much to do and i cant sort my thoughts enough to get any further. i’m incredibly frustrated atm. i also constantly think about how i dont give characterisation enough thought.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

probably the first kiss in dits! i had it planned completely different in the beginning, only for it to take not only WAY TOO MANY CHAPTERS but also to happen in a completely different setting.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i literally can’t if anyone has suggestions hit me up i’m too tired and there are too many words

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i mean. i started this year. i learned how to write. how to make sentences flow. those kinda things. basics

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I really wanna keep an eye on characterisation and i really really need to broaden my vocabulary

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

actually, i think all the writers in the club. the fact that we have a community where you can ask the most stupid questions, where you can always ask for advice, even just reading what other people write and ask about. but also just reading their fics in general. meg’s and molly’s cake fics and jess’ were so good they were the last push to get me into fic writing. but also special mention to molly. thanks for always answering my dumb ass questions no matter when or what and helping me w fic ideas <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

oh definitely. i was in france!! i was where the magic happens!! but also just personal perceptions of things and preferences, but i won’t specify anything. i cant afford to be perceived even more

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

write. just write. dont be afraid of ideas going to ‘waste’. dont be afraid of writing things u can’t do. if you dont post it, who will know about it? no one but you. always write it down, no matter how small the idea. u can always edit, but u cant get ideas back.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i have several fics i want to write, but as long as im on dits still, i dont have the brain capacity to work on other longer projects. i would love to write the neighbour fic, or the ballet fic.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I’m probably the last rn so if you read this and wanna do this pretend i tagged you!!

#writer’s game #tag game #god this took forever #my eyes dried out

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xsamuu · 4 years

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HEYYYYY!! I saw your ask box was open and I was wondering if I could request a headcanon? Where the reader is in a massive fight with a friend they haven't seen for like 3 years and the friend takes it too far by saying something like "That's your boyfriend? How gross" "Ew why does he look like that? Couldn't grab someone better? Ugly ho" or whatever you come with? Tendou, Bokuto, Kenma, Kags, Nishinoya please, if you will?

I screeched when I saw this omg thank you I hope this is up to your standards bebs 😼👍🏾 but uh I should say some did come out a little bit like scenarios but I tried to stick to headcanons sorry for that still hope you enjoy 🎃😼

~Admin Rizzo

Tendou Satori

-you was minding your own business walking through a park your hands intertwined with your lover when a ✨m u s t y✨ old friend you knew had decided to share there unwanted opinions

-Tendou could see how uncomfortable you was and wanted to remove you from the situation but as he went to walk around the obstacle you stopped dead in your tracks

-“That’s who your with oh my god that’s fucking gross, I guess you’ll hook up with anyone you thot”

-It’s safe to say that tendou had come up with thousands of insults by the time the slur left there mouth

-Who even was this person?— WAIT WHO THEY CALLING A THOT?!

-you wasn’t a very confrontational person but nevertheless you wasn’t about to let this person who wasn’t even in your day to day life anymore talk smack about your man

-you went to retaliate when a big arm swooped around your shoulder catching you off guard

-“Babe lets go I wanted to bring you to the park today not a circus” 🤡

-Needless to say your ‘friend’ was shocked and maybe a little intimidated

-You on the other hand had to summon all the strength in your body not to laugh in there face

-With his arm still wrapped around he moved you away from the situation the both of you quickly changing the subject to something more important

Bokuto Kōtarō

-Bokuto loves spoiling you

-your the love of his life and he will make sure you know this not only through his words but also his actions

-this however works both ways there isn’t something you wouldn’t do to show him how much you support and love him

-You was sitting in the crowd at one of his games it was a very important one winning this match would definitely get him recognized by some powerhouse teams

-every time he would score a point for his team he would look up at you and every time you would be there imitating his celebration “HEY HEY HEY THATS MY ACE” You felt only pride and absolute infatuation with this man

-you was cheering your heart out when you suddenly felt someone bump your shoulder (a little too hard to be an accident—)

-You swung your head around only to come face to face with an old friend from middle school they looked bitter asf and your conscience was telling you to just ignore them

-“Oh you have nothing to say to me now Huh? I see your at another one of these boring ass games I thought you didn’t have time for people?”

-It’s true at one point you did say that but you didn’t think you’d loose one of your closest friends because of it even so you continue to ignore them hoping they’d get the message and leave

-they didn’t.

-“So you and number 4 are together I’m assuming. I guess ugly attracts ugly”

-immediately you saw red but you couldn’t ruin this for bokuto important people were here. As if he could sense your distress he shot his eyes up to where you were in the stand

-He called a time out, and started running out the gym everyone was confused but when he reappeared in the stands you knew all to well that he had caught on

-“Babe I just noticed your supposed to be closer to the match your an important guest” he smiled you mouthed him a thank you and gathered your things walking a few rows closer to the front

-Thankfully Akaashi was there looking up at you distracting you. The owllike man glared at your old friend “I don’t know what you did to Y/N but you better leave before you have another problem”

-When you looked back your ex friend was nowhere to be seen you giggled as bokuto gave you a big kiss before returning to the court

Kozume Kenma

-Kenma isn’t a contentious person in fact he would much rather settle an issue in the most inconspicuous way possible

-Even so if he feels that him or his partner was disrespected in anyway he will not hesitate

-You and Kenma was at a gaming convention you had been planning since the beginning of February (it’s now late April)

-You had sat through the entrance ceremony and was walking around admiring all the stalls and you were both having so much fun

-Kenma had left you for a split second to get someone’s autograph it was the animator from a game he played religiously you didn’t mind you stayed put and was scrolling through your phone

-“Long time no see y/n” you lifted your head to the sound of your name being called and made perfect eye contact with an old ‘friend’

-If you were being completely honest you hated them all they did was make you feel like an inferior insect whenever you two were together you hummed a ‘yo’ before going back to your phone

-“Still a quiet freak eh LuLu I guess you here on your own or something”

-Lulu was the name of a magical girl from a cartoon you used to love but upon finding out people would use it to mock and degrade you

-you was gonna walk away the ridiculous nickname when you heard a familiar voice

-“no y/n is with me and you are?” It was a genuine question but anyone who didn’t know Kenma would take his pack of expression as bored or sarcastic

-The person scoffed and pointed accusingly at Kenma “That’s who your with LuLu you couldn't do any better HE’S JUST AS LIFELESS AS YOU ARE”

-You tugged on Kenma sleeve motioning to just leave as you felt uncomfortable but Kenma wasn’t having it you had been so excited to be here and with him and this nobody came out of nowhere and started harassing you

-“Listen um going to say this in a way you could understand— he smirked at you and then opened his mouth again

-What escaped his mouth next left you shocked, scared, a little embarrassed for him even but mostly touched

-he cleared his throat

-“lifeless. I’m not lifeless in fact I have a burning hatred for you right now. And that why I feel no guilt in what I’m about to do.”

-You gulped and held on tighter to kenma’s sleeve mentally preparing yourself for what he was about to do

-“YoU HaTe LuLu’S tRanSforMatiOn sOng?!” He practically shouted. Instantly a horde or gamers, writers, weebs and more bombarded the area shouting and screaming and causing a scene

- From all the commotion it’s sounded like your ‘friend’ was ok but some of the words leaving the mouths of the mob were kinda cruel

-you smirked and Kenma led you away

-You know he doesn’t like being the center of attention but he still protected you and for that you’d be sure to thank him for that

Kageyama Tobio

-Kags never really liked leaving you behind when he had to go to different countries

-without you it made him anxious and you would reassure him that you’d be fine and eagerly awaiting his return

-Including the return of his big, fat juicy—

Ahem heart 🙂

-You had been sitting in a café Face Timing him

-You’d often have dates like this and you both enjoyed them you was talking to him when someone took up a seat next to you

-“Hey Y/n funny running into you here” a familiar voice echoed

-A w k w a r d you hadn’t seen or heard from this person since a fight you had a couple years ago why now?

-You had nearly forgotten about your boyfriend on the other side of your iPad screen until “Oh you bought a friend y/n”

-you was at a loss for words but before you could answer the unwanted annoyance to your left answered for you

-‘We’re not friends y/n cut me off because she’s toxic” it took kageyama a solid 10 seconds to realize that this wasn’t a real friend and that you were silently asking for help

-You rested your head in hand obscuring the person from kags field of vision therefore blocking there vision of your face and boyfriend

-hoping they’d get the message without you having to vocalize it

-they stood up and you let out a breath you didn’t know you was holding

-“I wasn’t checking out your friend don’t worry he isn’t my type I prefer cute boys” they spat

-Before you could even assess the fact that they pretty much called your boyfriend ugly you was already pissed at the fact that they referred to kags as your friend

-you stood up abruptly and it’s like they were waiting for you to loose your cool all hope was lost when you heard him clear his throat

-“[there Instagram name] Damn you was easy to find. I liked you post”

-You felt a tinge of confusion race through you but watching all the blood in there body rush to your friends face made you curious

-“DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW” people were definitely looking in your direction

-“Leave then I will” Now you was curious what the help did he do?

-seconds, literal seconds. The annoyance was nowhere to be seen

-“Kags..wha—”

“I shared there IP address in the comments :p”

- “PFFT kAgS!”

Nishinoya Yū

-Noya made sure that you felt like the only person in the world before he asked you out, so when you started dating you didn’t think he could get any more protective over you

-You was sitting in the cinema with him both smiling and listening on to the movie

-He fidgets a lot in his seat but you dont mind you know he cant help it besides you find it cute he is just so full of energy

-“Babe imma go to the toilet be right back” he kissed your cheek and left

-you continue to watch the movie until you feel someone slither into the seat next to you and hearing the voice your your temples irks and your expression one of annoyance

-One of your ex friends for how many years ago had to be in the same theatre at the same time on the SAME FUCKING DAY

-they didn't seem like they were moving so you just spoke first

- “can i help you.?”

-No response :/

-You were even more irritated than before

-Noya came back a few minutes later and noticed another person had sat right next to you

-Noya is dense VERY VERY DENSE he assumed you ran into one of your friends so he didn't question it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-After the movie finished you grabbed your things and rushed to get out of that situation

-The same person had finally said something after a whole hour

- “That’s who you came with.. You really know how to pick em an annoying toddler really Y/n your honestly pathetic--”

-It didn’t bother Noya he has been called short all his life this isn’t any different but this rando was obviously upsetting you and he would NOT have that

-Noya would step infront of you and confront the person they get a warning

-one fucking warning

-If they don’t take it i shit you not noya is going for the ankles periodt

- “I DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE BUT YOUR UPSETTING MY PARTNER THE FUCKING DOOR IS BEHIND YOU SO TURN AROUND”

-Noya looked like the aggressor and its safe to say he may have caused a scene but he would be a fool not to step in and protect you with all you got

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years

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I m just having these random thoughts. Like tae has always been very clingy and affectionate with other members like jhope or rm or jin or even jk. Whereas wgen it comes to vmin its mostly jimin being clingy. Like u can see even when vmin sit together its mostly jimin touching him or clinging to him whereas when they sit with others while jimin is equally touchy tae becomes clingier. Its so wierd and i dont know what to think.

Looking at the history of vmin from beginning until now (here’s an amazing timeline post by romanticdrift you should check out), in the first couple of years both of them were clingy and affectionate with each other, but also rough and lacking the experience that came with age of how to properly communicate with each other about their feelings and thoughts and in general. So, while in the beginning they just had fun with it, some of it being for show to entertain ARMY, some not, it’s true that things have evolved over the years and nowadays they are very different from how they used to be in like 2013, for example. That isn’t a bad thing though. It’s a natural progressing even.

Besides, Jimin and Hoseok are the two most physically affectionate members, that’s true, but just because that’s their love language (at least in primary free content, yet in paid content like ITS or BV, have you noticed how suddenly even they are way less physically affectionate, how the members don’t feel the need to constantly cling to each other, hug and touch each other, and rather just spend time together doing something or being in the same room doing their own things while enjoying each other company), we can’t expect everyone to have the same one. For instance, Yoongi is more about showing acts of service toward his members as a way of showing them how much he cares about them and loves them, it’s his love language. Does that make his affection for them any less valuable than when Jimin is clingy with another member?

If you look at how Tae’s behavior has fluctuated across 2020 due to obvious reasons in the first half while settling down and turning happier in the second half, you’ll notice that he’s in general “calmed down” with how affectionate in a physical way he is with the other members. He’s still silly and making jokes with them when he’s in a good mood, he still touches and shows physical affection toward Jimin, like in the RUN episode with Chef Baek and the rice cooker moment, yet there are also times when he simply doesn’t want to do that. It’s not a bad thing, and it also doesn’t have to say anything at all about the state that vmin’s bond is at. It runs so much deeper than some physical touch caught on camera during a 35-minute RUN episode, or lack thereof in some other content.

Jimin and Taehyung worked so hard and over a long period of time for the bond they have now, especially since they did it not as BTS Jimin and BTS V, but as Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin, the real-life people. They put in a lot, and I mean a LOT, of emotional and physical labor into creating and strengthening this bond they’ve always had (in some form or another) because they saw something in each other, saw that they’d found their person in each other and wanted to make it work despite their differences, despite hard times making not only their lives hard but also putting their bond to a grueling test, and at the end here we are today where their bond is literally one of the closest and strongest bonds I’ve ever seen.

More below the cut:

Now, imagine you put that much into a relationship (and for this argument the only viable reason for why they behave this way and guard this so fiercely is because there’s something romantic here since why else would they be so protective about their bond and “hide” it so much?) would you really want to showcase it so obviously to people, strangers who only wait for reasons (even if there aren’t any actual ones) to be vicious and nasty toward you? Just to see people drag your bond through the mud, to insult it, belittle it, and write it off as “fanservice” (even more than they already do) even though it’s something so precious to you, even though this person is your person, your soulmate, your special someone you want to keep at your side until you’re grandpas?

I highly doubt it.

And that’s where the difference lies. Yes, all the bonds in BTS are strong and special in their own rights, but what Jimin and Taehyung have, that is something so rare, so precious, so once in a lifetime, yet also something they worked so hard and long for and on, who would want to “sell” it to the public? Wouldn’t you, too, want to keep it safe and close to your heart? Think of Taehyung’s lyrics from the song he posted and then deleted off of twitter, of him wanting to protect his love from those with evil tongues, to save his love and save himself with an umbrella, think of the drawing from the Snow Flower cover of the boy protecting the flower with an umbrella from the snow. Wouldn’t you, too, want to protect someone who is this special to you, with whom you share such a special bond, from the horrendous opinions and words of others?

It’s easy to be affectionate with people who are your best friends, your found family, your brothers, and showing that to people, but showing the same with someone so important to you, with whom you share a different level and kind of connection, it’s a completely different story.

Besides, we still get glimpses of it from time to time, we see their affection for each other, and yes, it’s different, it might come across as weird to some, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful and their bond any less real and deep than any other bond within BTS. Does the closeness of two members truly only depend on their on-camera affection, yet the moment it’s something we only hear about yet not see, therefore is something off camera and not for us to view, somehow not exist and not matter?

At the end of the day, we know so little about their private lives, and much of what you see and hear about from some is just speculations, some of which are f*cked up to say the least in regard to some other pairings within BTS, and yet the things we do hear about their private lives come from their own mouths, especially in connection to vmin, are immediately dismissed and ignored because…because some loud part of the fandom just decides that that’s how it is and everyone else is meant to just follow their opinion, I guess?

That’s not right, we know that and, in a way, I’m sure they do as well, but they follow their own agenda, one we don’t have to follow or agree with. What they do is their thing, but as vminnies, we know what we know, we see what we see, so instead of looking what everyone else is doing, why don’t we do as they do and stick to our opinions, our feelings, everything we know about Jimin and Taehyung, as individuals and as pair, and feel happy for them but also happy for ourselves because we got to witness them grow into the people they are today, in general but also with each other. Isn’t that much more valuable than some short touch of a thigh or a teasing joke?

I know it’s easy to fall into the pattern of comparing, especially when it comes to the amount of content you get etc, but just because others want to impose their bad shipper habits on us and take how supposedly real a pairing is solely based on “”moments”” and turn it into something akin to a di*k measuring contest, who’s to say we have to participate? Besides, regardless of which shipper camp wins, it has no effect on the actual idols, says nothing about their actual real-life bonds. They are the only ones who know the true nature of their bonds and their depths, so looking at everything we know about vmin, things they’ve shared with us through visuals and words, do we really have any reason to feel insecure about our opinions? What reason do we have to think of how much or how little affection and clinginess they show toward each other in on-camera moments as the be all, end all evidence and standard of their bond? When we know how much they’ve worked for this, how much they matter to each other, enough so to cry and laugh together, to sing a song about it co-written and co-produced by Jimin, for Tae to write 4 O’Clock and many more, and for them to decide to want to stay together forever? In the face of all that, is it really that imperative for us to see them share affection on camera, for them to be clingy?

Isn’t everything else we have, these more than eight years’ worth of friendship and more, isn’t that enough for us to see and know their worth to each other?

And sure, there are moments where they are clingy, where they are affectionate with each other, so isn’t that enough? Do we really need more, or some kind of elaborate explanation for why it is that way or not a different one? Besides, they aren’t eighteen-year-old boys and rookies anymore, they are grown men who want to be seen and treated as musicians, Grammy nominated ones at that, who have learned how to communicate their love for each other in a way they are most comfortable and happy with, so do they really need to cling to each other on camera? No. They don’t owe us visual proof of their bond, don’t owe us visual reminders of their bond either.

The fact that we still get glimpses of their bond is a wonderful thing and I’m grateful for it. Generally, the fact that we get to see and witness so much of the members lives is something we should treat as special and not as a requirement, like a quota they need to fulfill. They could only ever show up during comebacks and promotions, but instead we get so much, just yesterday we had Jimin spend time on weverse replying to so many posts and even coming back a second time a little while later into the night, also replying twice to posts about Tae.

From anon: I think that, especially Taehyung, has succumbed to restrictions and fan service and the falsification of everything. This is the problem with the entire Makne lineage. Maybe they are all very real with each other in their personal lives, but in front of the camera they all seem very scripted. Because of that, I think Vmin does not present himself in front of the camera and does not want any fan service. What do you two think about it? Thanks for great posts!

This is another ask we got a while ago that I think fits thematically. Even more so when you consider that many consider anything vmin do together just fanservice, thus belittling and cheapening their bond in such a blatant and awful way despite having no right to do so. I’m sure vmin know about all of this, have seen the comments since they are everywhere, so it can’t possibly be fun or pleasant at all. You could argue that they could just not care about what people say, could just not care about how their interactions are viewed as fanservice, but that is way easier said than done when there is practically no escaping those comments at this point.

There’s a shipping rule, so to speak, especially when it comes to real people ships, that you are to keep your shipping away from them and keep it somewhere where they don’t see it. That rule has long been broken, burned and turned into micro particles that can never be put together again. And we know that’s a fact because we literally had Tae tell a shipper off on Weverse, something that usually never happens. But it did. Not that it changed anything or had any kind of effect, but it’s more about the gesture itself.

As for the scripted part, of course much is scripted but not because they are fake, their personas are fake, and the whole BTS are family thing is fake, but because their words have weight. Their actions have weight. Everything they say and do is put on a scale, measured and accounted for, analyzed, theorized and twisted one way or another. While they could be wild during rookie years, now that they’ve reached this unprecedented level of fame for Korean artists, that’s not possible anymore. They have to be careful, have to be on guard during certain content, have to put their very best foot forward at all times. It’s hard. Incredibly hard. We’ve seen them struggle with it, but that’s how it is. And when you struggle, it’s easier to have a script, even just a loose one, you can follow to make it easier, to make you less unsure or keep yourself from overthinking everything you say or do.

One thing that is incredibly important to remember is that when they are on camera, they are at work, they are BTS Jimin and BTS V, BTS RM and BTS JIN, and while parts of their real personalities are also part of their BTS personas, it’s still work, not free time. Especially during interviews or performances, while backstage getting ready to go on stage, or while going from schedule to schedule. Think about it this way, vmin are affectionate and clingy and loud about their bond in places where we see them, so now think about how loud they must be in places where we don’t see them, in their private lives?

Enough so for none of the members to laugh or react or comment on how casually Tae spoke about wanting Jimin to come sleep next to him. And enough so that Hoseok said that the person Jimin shows aegyo toward the most is Tae (though I’ve seen at least three different translations for this moment, the one I mentioned, another one that translates it as Jimin being spoiled the most by Tae, and yet another as Jimin treating Tae as big baby) in one of the Japanese interviews (NTV Buzz Rhythm) in July 2020, Yoongi nodding in agreement, the mention of that making Tae flustered (?) and want to downplay it a little by acting ‘surprised’ and asking “(To) me?”. This, too, is something we don’t see that often (anymore) yet it obviously must be there if Hoseok mentioned it and the others agreed with him. And at the end of the day, the members truly do know them, far better than any of us ever will. Or that time at the airport where Jimin waited for Tae and they only started to hold hands when they must’ve thought no one would be able to see it. Do things like this not sufficiently show that there are simply things they don’t want to show us? And thus, shouldn’t we simply respect their choices?

And even if they are calmer now, less clingy, less ‘showy’, we still got a bed selca they took while hidden behind their legs and blankets creating as though a wall so the ITS cameras didn’t see them, with a caption that…well, opens up some interesting implications (positive ones, of course).

Let me end this post on this: if vmin were just friends, or even if they weren’t friends anymore like some so vehemently insist is the case, surely there would be no issue for them to show their just friendship the way they show it with the other members, be clingy and affectionate in physical ways, possibly even just play a role of bestest buddies like some idols supposedly do, and yet they don’t do that. So, since they don’t do it, the only plausible reason I can see for it is that they simply have something between them that they want to hide and that it’s valuable enough to them that they want to guard and protect it, that makes their bond different from the bonds they have with the other members.

#answered ask #vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #somehow this wasn't supposed to be this long and yet it still turned out this way #discussion

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

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same anon (guess i’ll call myself kingdom anon) — and to be fair im also the same as u and can’t really watch competition shows. that’s why i only watched their youtube clips at the beginning. only watching it now because i need something to pass time. (though if u have any recs pls do share :)) but like i’m not paying extreme attention to it lol

i skip skz’s performances just because i am really not a fan. its v cringe for me…. whoever told them that they’re good rappers should maybe possibly be fired. but music is subjective so to each their own. i’m not going to subject myself to it. one thing that i am curious about is if skz genuinely believes that they did really well? it is a scripted show so i’m not too sure. but i really wished fan votes weren’t such a large percentage…. this was an opportunity for tbz/skz/atz to actually receive critical feedback and grow considering they’re younger groups (as opposed to btob/ikon who already established themselves). like for sf9, we saw their immediate growth from round 1 to round 2. but for skz, they’re stagnant.

on a more general topic, there’s something v unique w having large fan bases. recently i saw an article that skz’s new album reached 900,000+ preorder sales. but they didn’t actually rank on korean music charts. and in a way, the sales tell jyp that they’re successful because of the money they’re bringing in. and they’ll continue doing the same thing because it works. but also they’re relatively unknown by korea’s gp when u compare them to jyp’s other male groups (2pm, god, got7). i don’t know where i’m going w this lol sorry just finished a final. but this show was overall disappointing for me. and i d k if i’ll continue watching the episodes

you may be the only person left watching kingdom at this stage so i think the moniker is fitting!

obviously you've been around and reading my reviews so you know my thoughts on the show on the whole, but i don't think i ever really talked about what i thought skz themselves think about the outcome, which is.....i have to assume that they knew the results were gonna be skewed. i think maybe after that first ranking there could have been feasible deniability for them, but as the numbers kept coming in so drastically skewed, especially when mnet made the bizarre choice to show the individual rankings for expert/self/fan judging separately, there's no way they didn't clue in to what was going on. the general consensus from the skz fans i know is that even the fans knew this was not their best showing, and if i know anything about artists i know that we're never satisfied with anything deep down, even if its our best received work.

in terms of seeing if there was any payoff/growth post show, only three of the six groups have had comebacks so i cant really make any totally accurate judgements, but i can say that yea, overall there has been growth. we saw sf9's growth the most obviously during the show and then they cranked it up to 12 for teardrop and it paid off for them (they broke their own sales record, good job boys). we also know that even though the mv for teardrop was filmed pre-kingdom, they revamped the entire choreo after the show in order to capitalize on the feedback from move, and honestly it's the best direction for them to go in. not sure when their next comeback is gonna be because youngbin and inseong are going to have to enlist soon and because of the large age gap its probably gonna be a while before they're all together again. tbz i think has shown a pretty big improvement, at least with thrill ride (who's to say about other comebacks). they've ditched any kind of lore and although i don't like the song i think the majority of the styling is quite good and it's a good genre break for them.

as for skz, i do actually think there's been one or two lessons learned. thunderous isn't as good a song as god's menu or back door, but it's on par with their discography and consistency is key. i do however, think the choreography is excellent and the styling + general concept is interesting, even if a bit conservative. personally i think they should have leaned way more into the graphic elements of the mv, because the shapes and silhouettes of the clothing are good, but they're so monotone that it ends up being a little boring. if everything else was the same but there was more use of patterns and colour it'd pop a lot better. it's also possible that we may see that in the next stages they do, since they've only done three or four so far. i'm taking it as a win that the styling is at least related to the concept. as for the rest of them; the ateez comeback isn't for another two weeks and honestly i have NO clue what to expect, btob is tomorrow and it's gonna be fine obvs, and i dont think ikon is gonna have a comeback any time soon since bobby is apparently getting married next month (plus the baby), not that i was expecting kingdom to have any effect on them lol.

i think its reasonable that jyp front skz more as an international group, especially since they had that with got7 and then cocked it up so badly. i think we're definitely going to be seeing some interesting (if you like that kind of thing) numbers discrepancies in the next few years because of how different groups are being marketed and it's going to have some kind of effect on korean and international charts. personally i have exactly zero interest in charts and numbers and would prefer them to stay far away from me because it's just another way the music industry has been gamified by capitalism.

honestly if the show's not doing it for you than don't bother. it would have been a lot better if there were more group interactions; the sports/isac episode is cute and fun, but really the highlights of the rest of them are the stages.

#why did this response get so long im so sorry. why do i talk so much #kingdom #kingdom asks #if youre looking for time passing content sdc is great for that if you like dance #both sdc3 and sdc4 are on youtube in full with full eng subs (sdc4 is still airing but theyre putting up fully subbed episodes every week)#i shit you not the episodes are between 2.5 to 3.5 hours long on average and there is at least 12 of them #plus the finale of sdc3 is like 7 hours. (it was a livestream which is why it was so long and theres big chunks you can skip)#if you want something more music based superband is 20/10 always recommend #no idea where the full episodes are but most of the performances are on youtube and those are the best parts #the devil judge is really good #so is the uncanny counter #sometimes when im feeling especially shitty i watch all three john wick movies in a row #honestly i spend most of my time 1) looking up recipes 2) actually cooking or 3) research/writing for asks #the amount of film/tv content i have consumed in the last year has decreased quite significantly #so im kinda terrible with recommendations unless youre looking for something specific #kpop questions #text #answers

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spade-riddles · 3 years

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"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

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notkodanymorebye · 4 years

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bonsoir ! my name is sam, its 5:30 am as im writing this, and im a mess. i use she/her pronouns and im from aus – hence the being up at 5:30am for opening and still being late smh. i have a habit of rambling so sorry for this intro in advance lmao. but thats more than enough about me, let’s talk about the other and more important mess, reed’s token aries: K O D A R E I D

tws: mentions of divorce, drugs, and ya know the murders

STATS.

full name: dakota reid

best known as: koda

age: twenty five

gender + pronouns: non-binary, they/them

occupation: waiter/bartender at salvatore’s steakhouse, aspiring podcaster

hometown: reed, virginia

star sign: aries

traits: jovial, creative, adventurous, confident, detached, cruel, impulsive, lazy

drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

MORE INFO.

born and raised in reed, they’ve honestly left the area maybe a handful of times. not for a lack of wanting to, they certainly have wanted to and still want to, just a lack of money and time and motivation to plan anything “””big”””” (leaving ur town is not big but koda is lazy) in their lives

im gonna try not to get too into it bc i will go on forever but two important things to mention as far as their childhood. the first, when koda was sixteen their parents went through a really fuckin rough divorce. and like any sixteen yr old whose parents are getting divorced it pissed koda off. they have a moderately better relationship with them now but at the time, it was messy. at first, koda was very outwardly emotional about it, but as their emotions were just used as a weapon for their parents to use against one another they shut that shit down immediately. only showed their emotions in a way that was more of a nuisance to their parents: graffiti, petty shoplifting, being a dickhead in school, flunking grades (though they werent great to begin with), sneaking out all the time, all that bs

which leads to thing two: koda was a dealer towards the end of high school/the start of young adulthood. nothing big, bc they were a dumbass teenager in a small town just looking to piss their parents off. but because they were a dumbass teenager in a small town i assume theres a good possibility that if ur character is from reed: koda was their dealer. eventually they stopped bc people figured out they were just a sometimes v annoying middle man for the much easier to deal with guy that koda bought from + too much work. like most things to koda, drugs were meant to be just a fun past time, not a full time career.

after barely finishing high school they had absolutely no want to go to college. even at local reed college it was a lot of money to put down and for what???? for koda to do an arts degree they dont really care about and then do nothing with it ????? instead they just worked more. they’ve had the job at salvatore’s since they were fifteen and its really a staple in their lives.

when they are not at salvatore’s, they’re still being a menace tbh that did not end with high school or even the dealing. they’re usually skating around (would also be driving around and sometimes they are but its illegal because they recently had their licence suspended), probably spray painting some fence, maybe takin some photos on their barely working dslr, partying, drinking, stealing shopping carts from the local grocer, being a dickhead, u know the ~usual

despite being the local, so far they’ve not had any close connections to the parkway victims and thats unfortunately made them pretty insensitive about it. they’re far, far more interested in figuring out what the fuck is going on than they care about u know the loss of life and danger to everyone else in the town. in stats i mentioned they were an aspiring podcaster and thats because, u guessed it, koda wants to start a podcast about the murders they’re a piece of shit we already know this

and since this isn’t showing in the tags anyways: here’s a link to their pinterest board

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

housemates – koda is a broke mf, i want this connection to be with other broke mfs that are leasing a shitty house and probably have one too many people in it, but like: it works yk

childhood friends – obv koda has lived in reed their whole life, they’re from a very working class family, can be a connection through family or just through school im down for whatever

actual friends – this is probably gonna be limited to like a couple bc koda is so closed off lmao. while they’re friendly and enthuastic with just about everyone, theres not many koda actually considers genuine friends, these are the exceptions

co-workers – koda is confirmed annoying most of the time but they are at their peak annoying at work so if anyone else works at salvatore’s a. im so sorry b. lmk lets plot

party people – do u do drugs and other reckless impulsive bs at house parties? then this might be the connection for u bih – bonus if they’ve been partying together for fuckin ever

an easy thing – literally just the song easy thing by dom ferra. an easy romance, very much in its early stages, prob not official at this point, kinda learning what being in a relationship should mean together. only open to f/nb sorry lads

then just everything idk i need to start getting ready for work but pls hmu if u would like to plot ✌️

#parkway.intro #( about. )

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jimimn · 4 years

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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT S H O O K ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST.

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

#anonymous #replied #💫

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jflove · 5 years

Text

Taekook/Vkook: From things I gathered so far

First of all, it’s just my thinking, I could be wrong. So if im wrong, then just think of this post as a fanfic. So, I started listening/watching BTS just this week. Yeah i know, very late for the party. but i dont usually listen to K-pop, so I came across them simply because they’re everywhere recently.

They amazed me like most of the world right now, i started to watch their interview or v-live vids just to know them better.

Then i saw a old news about they almost break the group in 2018, i was really shocked, so i watched the 2018 festa, heard that V talked about Suga write a long massage to him and end with I love you. then Suga said he also sent to another person.

then Jungkook raised his hand.

i found it a bit weird why he didn’t say it earlier, wait till Suga pointed out another person? But i didn’t think into it. the news commented that Suga cared for the two youngest members, and said the almost disbanded reason was pressure from the fame.

Then i came across those Taekook vids, lots of them with detail analyse, those were too many i can’t repeat. i grow up with Japan’s boy groups, those were K-pop’s beginning, so im no new to those fan service behavior. But I really feel this wasn’t the case.

The first one really bring up suspicious, is when Jimin asked if JK was happy, then JK said yes and thank fans.

I was really shocked to see that, because Jimin actually lower his voice, it doesn’t sound like a joke.

And also JK’s answer... i have to say hes not the best improviser on cover up. He stop for a sec then said something in a weak tone....

He didn’t ask why Jimin say that or anything, like a normal person been wrongfully accused. Just really nervous laughing.

Cute, but boi.

Then theres that famous sleeping together on a boat:

And also those v-live busted:

Jungkook wasn’t wearing clothes when V came, but they exchanged some shady text before. So theory was probably V told him hes coming but didn’t say he would bring the cam, so... poor JK.

Anyway there are lots of them, so im not gonna go threw everything. Just my theory: I would guess they probably started just good friends, they both has the same weirdness, and similar age. And JK said he think V really good looking a lot from the beginning. V would pet JK like a puppy and hug him every chance he got.

Though other’s like the little bro too, but clearly they were the closest.

And most of all, V likes(or needs) to hug something to sleep, and little JK didn’t like sleep alone. So they just naturally sleep together all the time. And other hyungs were used to it. they know each other more than any other members too.

at first I guess they started to make out around 2017, but now i think probably 14-15. I have to keep changing the timeline earlier because more i dig, more i think it happened very early. 2013 When the group started, Jungkook looked so shy and everyone teased him. V’s teasing a bit different, more intimate or inappropriate even. Like the pic above, JK often looks shy and tries to get away. There’re also a vid (I forgot where i saw it) everyone sit down talking, V held JK under his arm and grabbing his nipple, JK looked so uncomfortable and low key tried to get away. But that dynamic soon changed, JK suddenly more confident, can tease back, and possessive of V. i think they started to make out during that time. explain why JK used to so awkward when V teased him, because he got aroused by those joking behavior and embarrassed. But after confirmed that the feeling was mature. He’s all exciting and totally in love. But I don’t think they really consider the other one as lover till 2016, could be when V left the group for the movie shooting, the separation made them realized their own feeling. if i can be a bit pervert, i would say before that could just jerking, making out, normal stuff. but 16 or 17 are the time they really doing it and become lovers.

this vid was form 03.24.2017, i saw it from other people’s great vid. pls go watch it, so informational. In this vid you can hear some kissing sound. I used to think this time was they first build up the real sexual relationship so they couldn’t control themselves. But now i think maybe because company were(are) pressing them, so its their way to get back. So as those sneaky tease, it’s their way to express their feeling under the company rules.

Maybe at first was boys fooling around, but it turn to real general love very quick. It’s not just some dazed and confused, they supported each other in a high pressure industry full with adults. Train together, work together, live together. That would definitely create a strong bond. And I believe them made each other grow a better person. V becomes more thoughtful, discovered his ability on dancing, singing, and song writing. And the very capable JK becomes more caring, confident, and found his mental support he can always rest his head when he really tired.

The another shock for me was the behind scene of Winter Bear.

first of all, JK isn’t in the credit so why was he there lol? Second, that phone lol. JK’s symbol is rabbit. so no matter who that phone is all quite suspicious. Although there’re some camera sound, but it doesn’t looks like another person was shooting, the sound and camera shift could edit in. or just ask the camera person leave the camera after couple shoots. Anyway, i think the camera was on the bed was the tiny movement matched their move so it could be just mattress bouncing. But the important thing i want to talk about was this:

That damn boi was freaking jerking off right?! His top all opened up, his left hand was under the cover, and there were some tiny panting and chest movement... i watched like at least 20 times, its gotta be. And there’s a cut couple sec later, changed to JK singing winter bear with a smirk face.

cus he freaking knew the song is about him. yeah. I think V made that song cuz JK. He said before that JK really hates people waking him up. so i guess kinda like a bear?

Then there’s the walking with JK’s dog scene. Before the behind scene came out, people argued about whether JK was involved. But now, yeah, i would say he probably the person filming since he already filming V a lot on his personal account “golden closet film“... do i even need to say anything about the name?

Back on the bear.

V only held one bear, and the finishing had two bears.

Two bears, how could that be any more obvious?? Two bears, two boys likes to sleep together. do the math.

do you even wanna talk how close he and the person filming? don’t think a professional would film like this. and the look in V’s eyes, the tiny smile on his lips... im tired to go over this, why do i even need to point out? use your eyes.

So, conclusion, I think they were in love since 2017. And the other members all know about it. There are so many slips i wouldn’t gonna talk about it. it’s already a super long post.

Next, it’s the interfering phase. 2018.

Anyway, Korea is not a gay-friendly country. And they have mandatory military service, which V and JK haven’t done. if you’re gay in Korea military, you could face jail time. And not to mention coming out in anywhere would be hard. The company started to separate V and JK, they won’t be in the same vid, even arrange different schedule for them. If it’s a group activity, then they couldn’t stand next to each other without others cut in-between.

I imagine its not a great job for the hyngs, probably why they talked about disband. Yeah, I went back to the first question i got and finished my quest. i think i found the real reason. and it explains why-->

See when Jin said it, V was looking at another person on his right side with that intense look, tell me that's not a look you look at someone you love but couldn’t be with.

And V all broke down, finally JK couldn’t watch it anymore.

I can’t find a close up, but i remember seeing in some other vids. JK was holding his tear and put on a calm face but you can see how hard he gritted.

it’s hard to find because they all got ban by the company. maybe my post would too... i heard there was a vid on YouTube point out the same thing and got ban by bighit. so... anyway. if you think im right, you can make a copy of my post and re-post it. don’t worry about copy my words, i don’t mind. if a lot of people did the same thing, then there would be no point to ban.

IM NOT DOWN HERE!!

That’s talk about this v live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfHecRN_dLk

if you didnt watch it, go find it on youtu. This vid are so... all over the place. I didn’t understand till some great analysis (see the link above). i couldn’t go throw all the details why how or what... if you don’t believe, why you even read till here?

Simply says, company wanna hide that JK and V was staying in the same room, so they probably ask V to leave the room, but V came back in the middle, everyone was super awkward, so Jin and Jimin left. V looked sad and pissed. He wouldn’t leave, so company sent someone to ring the bell, and told JK to ask V to leave.

see how uncomfortable that JK had to ask V to leave. i feel so bad for them both, had to follow those company stupid rules and pretend their relationship. How would that feel when you have the love one so close to you, but you can’t touch, can’t hold each other, can’t even say how important that person meant to you.

They’re in their 20s! they should be having fun with each other, posting those sweet pics and showing off their boyfriends, having the best. Instead, they can’t even stand together in public photo shooting.

People even thought they have issue with each other, can you imagine how insult that would be? have to see your fans pairing you and your lover with other people, but couldn’t say anything.

Then, that’s talk about the new album. because i think they’re not gonna be quite for long. remember RM made a speech in UN about not just love yourself, also need to speak yourself? I think they are gonna speak, that’s why RM hinted in this interview:

yes form the same youtuber, go find the vid. He say something big could be coming, i do think definitely could be JK and V coming out. see how serious JK’s face? this kid got frown lines in just a year! People were shock that he looks much grown up in “ON”, i just feel sorry for him. hes only 22, he shouldn’t have to grow up so much. But love would do this to you, the things you do for love age you. V seems much older too, i couldn’t imagine how much pressure hes under.

And we have to talk about the songs.

First, Jungkook’s My time. He said the same thing about have to grow up fast. Of course industry would do that to you, but he was always quite happy till couple years ago. love do make us weak and hurt, some love just harder than the other. In his song, he said don’t know what’s his time, I think maybe he was thinking about when to come out? But eventually he definitely will, because his song was for V, the lyric mostly was easy to understand, but

Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present (one time) Two time for the past (two time) these three lines i think sun means V’s name? probably means even against what V wants? but the one or two im not sure, how many times he disagree with V?

And time, my time, does that mean sexuality? or just simply means he couldn’t have time with V? so many possibility...

But i really wanna talk about V’s inner child. That’s the reason why i spent 4hrs writing this long ass post with my broken english. Not even sure would any one even bother to read... Because after everything i know and believe about V and JK, when i read the lyric i see a totally different song. a heart break love song for someone he knows for so long, when they both young. (im tearing up again) OK, call me imagine things all you want, if there’s a small chance they really are lovers and this song was for JK... just pretend that and read+listen the song again.

At that time, we had it tough While looking up at those stars in the sky, too far out of reach You at that time, didn't believe in galaxies But I saw it, a silver galaxy It must have hurt, it must have been so difficult I ran towards the endless light

The first part is the beginning of their story, they wanna be like those stars, but JK wasn’t sure about himself. V believes they can make it. so they went for it, even have to go through all those lies and suffering.

and the chorus...

It tingles, that summer day's air The cold sounds of the grey-lit streets I draw in a breath and knock at your door We gon' change

maybe how things happened? Not sure the summer is a metaphor or a real time though. this change means they fell in love.

Now I wish we would smile more It will be okay, because today's me is doing fine Yesterday's you, now it's all clear I want to hug the many thorns in the budding rose The smiling kid, the child who was always laughing brightly When I see you like that, I can't help smiling

The second part is breaking my heart. I think hes telling JK not to worry about him. He doesn’t mind those thorns(all the obstacles they have to face), he want the rose(JK or their love relationship). And the smiling kid part just makes me cry every time. The line “Yesterday’s you”, Im not sure means he can sees JK’s grown up, or... When i sense that their relationship might be the almost disband reason, i think probably one of them wanted to go against the company, open their relationship. But the other one refused. That’s why they end up still the same. I thought was V wanted to open, because he’s more don’t care about what people think kinda person. but now i think might be JK. That’s why V was crying so hard on the stage, because hes the one hiding. He felt sorry for JK, and JK held him showed he support his decision. And if that’s true, then the whole “yesterday you” could means that V understand why JK want to go public now. Another thing why i suddenly think JK is the one wanted to come out, is the “Golden Closet Film” name. And It’s started at 2017.11.08... probably the time they talked about coming out, but decided not to, he was frustrated and felt been pressed by the company into this glamorous closet.

the chorus this time means another change, maybe they broke up, or put a hold on their relationship. but i would think... maybe when V made the song, he didn’t know what would happen. this song was what he wanted to say to JK, so he could bring this song to JK and play or sing to him. See what would he choose.

Therefore comes the next part which is dancing in my tears:

Tonight, if I reach my hand to yours Can you hold that hand? I'll become you You just have to look at my galaxies Be showered with all those stars I'll give you my world The lights illuminating your eyes, they're the me of now You’re my boy, my boy My boy, my boy, my boy

Is V asking JK to come out with him? i couldn’t figure out every single words mean but i don’t have to, that’s something V said to JK, the meaning belongs to them, we can just shared a bit of his emotion. there are just so many love and begging, calling for the boy he deeply in love with. every single word hurt me deeply because they are so real and pure.

If someone wrote something like this song to you, you need to grab that person tight. You might never meet another person could love you more than that.

I don’t know if JK hold V’s hand, like I said in the beginning, i could be all wrong and this is just a fanfic. But it’s the ending, if you still with me. let me make a wild guess...

If they come out on one of the coming concert, that would be epic. I worry for them of course, I wish them nothing but happiness. I truly don’t want to see this great kids suffer anymore. So maybe its a good thing if im wrong, or the storm might swallow them all. No matter what, i will keep supporting them, hope most of the army too.

#taekook #vkook

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choonlo · 5 years

Text

Hey ⑇ p.js

a park jisung oneshot

genre : fluff

wc : 4k

The screams got noticeably louder when a familiar tune began to play from the speakers.

A bead of sweat trickled from the side of your forehead down to your neck as you desperately tried to fan yourself with your hands. Joined by a few other fans, the six members of NCT Dream were in the middle of the crowd, dancing to their latest song, "Boom". You hadn't expected this to happen—actually, none of the people here had, not even the host of the occasion. It was merely a coincidence, you thought. For Korean idols to appear and eventually join this random K-Pop dance event was something out of a fangirl's dream, your dream, and everyone else's for that matter.

As you rapped Jaemin's lines along with the crowd, you let your eyes take in as much of your bias as you could. Park Jisung was indeed just a few meters away from you. Hell, you hadn't had the chance to go to concerts your whole life, but guess what? Your very first one was free, and it was better than those VIP seats that you couldn't afford with the five bucks you called your "savings".

It was hot. It felt like the sun's rays were stabbing your skin, and the heat from being squished in the middle of the cluster of sweaty bodies certainly didn't help either. You ignored the pounding in your head and focused on Jisung who was now dancing to Chewing Gum. The corners of your lips twitched upward. It's been years since the song was released, and you could still remember the curly hair that had brought you into the fandom.

Despite the obvious changes from 2016 Jisung and the present, you could still feel the childlike innocence that radiated from him, the absolute cuteness that caught your eye when you first watched their debut video.

Minutes passed, and they were finally done. The host was now talking to the group, thanking them as each of the members took their turn in shaking his hand. Most of the people were filming the moment, wanting to have something to remember the experience with. You would've been doing the same, but you weren't. It didn't occur to your mind that you should've been doing something like taking a picture, of recording a video on your phone. Instead of doing any of these, you screamed.

"I LOVE YOU PARK JISUNG!"

You had screamed at the top of your lungs, your shrill voice piercing through and drowning out every other noise. Silence suddenly existed in the busy area you were in thanks to you, and you hadn't noticed what you'd done until Jisung's eyes locked with yours.

Actually, all eyes were on you, but it was as if you and Jisung were the only ones there, as cliché as it sounded. Was it mentioned that you were wearing a shirt with Jisung's name and face imprinted on it? And that your backpack was embedded with NCT enamel pins, half of them being, again, Jisung's face. Well, now you remembered.

Finally, you snapped out of your trance and slapped a hand over your mouth, face flushing when you realised the amount of attention being directed to you. A few people started laughing, giggling, whatever. Some went "aww" at your adorable reaction. This made you look down at your feet, and because you did so, you failed to see how Jisung's cheeks reddened, too.

Having finished your grieving session, you walk down the stairs to grab a glass of water, phone in hand. You've been wailing in your room for the past few hours, and you basically let your heart out as your parents weren't home yet. But you were probably loud enough that your neighbours may have thought of calling the police, which they thankfully hadn't.

"Legit, I wouldn't be surprised if Jisung has a fanboy crush on you right now," Kim clicked her tongue, her voice seemingly laced with excitement.

Videos of NCT Dream's appearance earlier had started to circulate the internet, not one from any of the social media platforms you used didn't have at least ten posts about the afternoon event downtown.

Of course, that wasn't what had gotten you riled up.

There were clips dedicated to you, most having your face clearly shown in them. Notifications from your phone blew up the moment you got home, friends and strangers spamming you with messages, and you weren't surprised that some even had threats.

Apparently, a lot had seen how Jisung reacted, and some speculations of you being someone more than a fan began to spread across the whole fandom. Oh boy, how you wished.

"Um, no," you retorted, placing the glass on the coaster as you plopped yourself onto the couch. "Did you even see my face in those videos? I looked like crap! Jisung probably felt embarrassed!"

"That's not the overly confident Y/N I know," Kim laughed through the phone. You roll your eyes at her comment. "You looked cute! Like, you looked haggard as fuck, but it was the pretty type of haggard!"

"What does that even mean?" You were annoyed, but you couldn't help but laugh at her statement. "This isn't a fanfiction, Kim."

She groaned, "Oh shut up, ten bucks to you if you don't get involved with NCT's Jisung within a month."

"Are you serious?" you replied, enthused. "You do know that I'm totally winning that bet?"

"Yeah, sure." As she spoke, you heard your phone emit a soft ring from the coffee table. You lean forward from the couch to peak at the screen, there was a notification from your social media, someone had just sent you a message.

"Was that yours?" Kim asked. Your response was a mere hum as you took the device into your hand. It was from a user whose name was literally "akzkjzjsj", and you almost ignored it if it weren't for Kim's comment; "I bet it's Jisung."

Squinting, you saw how the person's icon was a picture of the ceiling, nothing else but a light bulb in the image, like it had been taken just now for a one time use.

akzkjzjsj

: hey

Curious, you were. It didn't seem like a bot. Maybe the person would give you threats, too? It made sense, as it was an account that had just been made.

PJiuwusuwung

: whats up?

akzkjzjsj

: do u know nct

You scoffed, wasn't that already obvious? Ignoring Kim's voice, you typed in a reply.

PJiuwusuwung

: this is legit a jisung fan account ur talking to

akzkjzjsj

: ok

: can we meet up tomorok?

: tomorrow*

PJiuwusuwung

: um what i dont even know u???

akzkjzjsj

: that dog cafe downtown tom at 3 pm

: Nthnkzs (:

Your eyebrows furrowed. "What?" you let out a confused noise, beginning to type once again.

PJiuwusuwung

: wtf !

: what makes u think i'll go !

: hEllo? !

Noticing that your messages weren't sending, you clicked on the person's icon. A wry laugh bubbled from your throat, the person had blocked you. You exited the application and placed the phone back onto the small table.

"Are you done ignoring me?" Kim's irritated voice made you sigh. "What happened? Wait! Don't tell me Jisung actually contacted you."

"No, it wasn't him," you began, "Some guy—or girl, just asked to meet up tomorrow at that dog cafe we go to a lot. And guess what? The asshole blocked me before I could even reply."

"Don't go," she said with a stern tone. "It might be sasaengs, you should be careful when going out. Some people can be dumb enough to do something crazy before thinking twice."

Kim was right, but you decided to brush it off. "Calm down, it's not like I was planning to go anyway," you chuckled lightly, shaking your head.

"Yeah, good to know."

"Dad, I'm going out!"

"Where to?" he questioned. Slipping your shoes on, you thought of what your best friend had told you the night before. You technically weren't going to the cafe. There was a sale in the small store downtown, and you didn't want to pass the chance to get your hands on K-Pop merch for lower prices. Obviously, you had to ask for money from your mother, and she was reluctant to give you any, but you had begged enough that she was finally just forced to do so.

"I'm going to meet up with Kim downtown."

"Have fun," he replied. "Don't stay out too late."

After half an hour, you finally arrived. You entered the store, but not without bumping into a few bodies, the place was filled with people after all. Noticing how many customers crowded around the NCT section, you lowered your cap, and you snickered silently. Why were you acting like this? You thought you were being too dramatic, they probably had no clue who you were, anyway.

Your hand hovered an inch above the mask you wore before you stopped, hearing the conversation of the girls by the stand.

"Have you seen that video Jisung? The one where he acted weird when that one fan suddenly screamed "I love you" out loud?" one of them asked, studying Jisung's photocard in her hand.

"Who hasn't? Ugh, seriously, I would've went if I had known that Dream would show up!" the other whined. "The girl is so lucky, all the members looked at her at the same time! I would sell my kidney just to experience that!"

A shiver ran down your spine. It certainly wasn't nice to hear people talking about you, even though it wasn't anything bad, it made you uncomfortable.

Saving the money given to you was undeniably the better option rather than staying here. Right when you turned your back to walk out of the store, your head bumped into someone's chest. You softly mumbled an apology and stepped aside.

A hand grabbed your arm, and you felt yourself stiffen. Fuck, were you recognized? You didn't even wear the bag you wore yesterday, and you had normal clothes on, not those unofficial NCT shirts you usually used. How could someone possibly. . You tried to jerk your arm away from the person's grasp, but his voice stopped you.

"Good thing you didn't remove your mask," he remarked before pulling you out of the store. You knew better than to attract attention to yourself and the boy, and because you had an idea of who he was, you didn't cry for help. Once the two of you were a good distance away from the shop, you pulled your arm out of his grip and stepped back.

"What do you—"

"Don't worry! I won't do anything to you," the boy chuckled, shrugging his shoulders awkwardly. You look at him, he wasn't Jisung, the neon hair peaking out from the front of his hat said otherwise.

"Zhon—"

"Hey now! No blowing our covers!" Chenle hushed you as he crossed his arms, sending you a playful glare. He noticed your confused expression and sighed. "Why are you even here? Didn't we tell you to go to the dog cafe down the street?"

"Wh—" you paused. Realisation hits you like a truck and you gasp, hands moving to slap your cheeks. The person who had messaged you last night, the one who'd asked you to meet up. Was it Chenle?? "Why did you want to meet me?"

"Me? Oh no, not me! All we did was talk to you for Jisung," he explained, voice retreating to a soft whisper at the end of his sentence. Before he could say anything else, you cut him off.

"We?"

He tilted his head in confusion before letting out a sound and clasping his hands together. "I mean me, and the other members, aside from the youngest."

"You see," he continued, "Jisung basically developed a crush on you when he saw you yesterday! He couldn't stop asking himself, and us, what your name was and if he was your favourite among all the members—which was obvious because his face was literally on your shirt."

Chenle shuts his mouth, realising what he was doing. "I'm sorry for babbling. Jisung's waiting for you in the cafe, you should go now!"

He twirls you around and gives your back a push, snapping you out. "Wait, I—"

"Follow me," another boy shows up in front of you. You feel your head pound from everything that's happening, but you follow him nonetheless as he crosses the street. It takes the two of you a few minutes to get to the doors of the cafe, and you almost feel like fainting right there and then.

"I-I still have so many questions," you stare up at the person who escorted you to the cafe. The familiar eyes were enough for you to know that you were talking to Lee Jeno. "Can I pleas—"

"You should get in and sit down," he assured, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "You'll have your questions answered in there."

You nodded your head and tiredly pushed passed the door, the bell ringing from the motion. Puppies started to swarm around your feet, and you began to feel better as you squatted down in an attempt to stop the dizziness you felt.

As you pet the small poodle softly on its head, you take notice of the person who knelt beside you. Raising your head, your eyes immediately meet his. Jisung's face blushes a bright red, and you head the choked howling from the other side of the cafe. The other three members were clearly here.

"H-Hey," he uttered softly, averting his gaze onto the puppies that played with you. "I'm Park Jisung."

Despite the awkwardness, you didn't stop the laugh that bubble from your throat, and Jisung was glad that you didn't, because your voice truly was music to his ears.

"You didn't have to introduce yourself, Jisung." You wanted to give yourself a good ol' pat on the back as you smiled at him, making him even more flustered than before. It was weird, you should've been the one unable to talk properly! He was your idol, after all.

"Do you—I—uh, should—" Jisung was being the exact meme you'd expected him to be, and you felt your lips twitch at his cuteness.

"Let's take a seat on the tables—I mean chairs, the chairs, yes," he kept on stammering, standing up and holding a hand out for you. Now it's your turn to be awkward, staring at his hand for a long time before feeling the heat rise up to your ears.

"Oh, I'm supposed to—" you took his hand and stood up. The other members couldn't stop themselves from making noise. Chenle, who had already entered silently from behind the two of you, would've burst out laughing if it weren't for the four covering his mouth.

The two of you settle at the table further inside of the cafe, cautious of the fans that may possibly pass by. Jisung sat across from you, facing away from the transparent walls. Silence lasted for a long moment before he finally spoke up, "So, how long have you been a fan of our group?"

You looked up from the puppy on your lap and bit back a smile. He actually spoke without stuttering this time. "I started liking NCT when I saw Dream's debut video."

You saw the interest sparkle from Jisung's eyes as he leaned forward, intrigued. "I was actually skeptical about it first, because I wasn't quite a fan of cutesy concepts. But once I watched it, your unit became my favourite group."

"Why's that?" he wondered, tilting his head to the side cutely. An action so adorable that it made your heart skip a beat.

"W-Well, first of all, the song was catchy," you shifted on your seat, avoiding his gaze. "The vocals and raps were everything. I even spent my time trying to learn the choreography!"

You were about to start talking again before you remembered who was sitting in front of you. It was hard to do anything when you knew that the Park Jisung was giving all his attention to you.

The corners of Jisung's mouth quirked into a grin, he knew his effect on you, but he didn't want that to ruin this rare opportunity to be able to spend his time with someone he liked. "Hey." His voice made your shoulders jump. "Let's try to be comfortable with each other. Just talk to me, and I'll listen."

Because I want to get to know you better.

"Actually," he began when you finally faced him, "I was wondering if—"

"Sorry to interrupt," Renjun's voice startled the both of you, and Jaemin had to slap his shoulder to stop him from giggling. "Your drinks are with us,"

The two boys moved to the side of your table and placed each beverage on the coaster provided. Your eyebrows raise when you realize that the one given to you was your favourite. Jaemin was beaming, and seeing Renjun give you a polite smile, you decided not to question it and thanked them before they retreated back to their spot.

Either they stalked you hardcore, or they asked the lady in the counter for your usual.

"G-Go on," you shyly urge Jisung to continue, looking down into the glass as you look a sip from the straw.

"Can I get your number?"

He'd said it so softly, so sweetly, and oh so smoothly that you almost choked, shocked at his straightforward question. You face becomes beet red and you clumsily try to get an answer out.

Jisung sees how you react and panics as well, "I m-mean you don't have to! I just—"

"It's okay!" you cut him off, shaking your head profusely. He went silent, and so did you, not knowing what to say. What's next? Your mind was a total mess as you tried to think. Finally, you decided on getting your phone out, but he beats you to it, handing you his phone with a new contact ready to be added.

He knew that your first da—meeting, wouldn't go well. Jisung was an idol, and you were his fan. Although he was glad that you didn't go brain-dead, it was still a shame that the two of you couldn't speak to each other properly as it was, clearly, awkward.

That's why he thought that getting your number would be best, as he could easily talk to you without you seeing him get flustered about everything you did. It was an idea that he was proud of, so he couldn't help but bite his lip in an attempt to hide his smile as he watched you type in your number.

"H-Here," you return the gadget, looking away embarrassed and bewildered. Park Jisung asked you for your number. Park Jisung has your number. Park Jisung plans to contact you after all of this. The Park Jisung, actually knows you?

Jisung shot up from his seat, arm sticking out ready to catch you when you almost fell off your seat sideways. He moved to kneel beside you, pressing a hand onto your forehead and taking your wrist into the other, "Are you okay?"

It felt like your body was on fire when he touched you. "I-I-I am! Yeah, I'm good! Totally good!" you yelped, gently peeling his hand away from your head.

"But you're hot to the touch!" he protested.

"That's because I'm blushing!" you shook your head, pulling him up to stand. "I'm not sick, I'm just flustered."

"O-oh," he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry, it's not your fault!" Well it is his fault, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? You mentally slapped yourself and opened your mouth to speak.

"I—"

"Jisung!" a voice softly hissed. Donghyuck moved hastily, slamming his hands onto the table harshly. He turns to your and gives you a smile. "Hello, Y/N."

"Hi?"

The boy laughs and turns back to his friend, shooting Jisung a panicked glare. "We have to go. Now. The manager is looking for us!"

Both your eyes widen and the two of you stand up in unison. Haechan pats Jisung on the chest before hurrying back, and Jisung looks back at you.

"I can see that you have to go," you gestured to the boys in chaos from the other side of the room. You quickly took notice of the apologetic face he had. "Don't be sorry, I understand. Now go! I don't want any of you getting in trouble."

Jisung nodded and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Your breath hitched when he pecked your cheek before he runs out of the store with the other members, but not without sending you a last wave. You stood there, dumbfounded, a hand on the place where Jisung had kissed you.

A moment passes and you finally recollect yourself, staggering toward the counter to pay for the drinks you had. The lady smiled and returned the money, "Those boys already paid."

You uttered a soft "oh" before nodding your head and walking out of the cafe. Damn, the past hour felt like an eternity! You were dead on your feet when you arrived home, and you quietly made your way upstairs to your room as your father's snores echoed through the living room.

Crashing down onto the softness of your bed, you let out a tired moan. It didn't take long before you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

A vibration from your leg woke you up, and you groaned as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and looking around your room. You yawned, stretching your arms out and arching your back. "That was one hell of a dream."

You reached for the phone that had gotten out of your pocket, and you blink. Why were you wearing the clothes you had on in your dream? A gasp escapes your lips and you quickly unlock your phone. An unknown number had sent you a message.

Unknown #

: hey

: its mee

You

: who is me?

: j88sufn?

: jisung??

Fingers shaking, you clicked your tongue as you had wanted to slap yourself for being so nervous.

Unknown #

: your one and only :))

You wanted to yell at the top of your lungs, but all that came out was a croak, your voice getting stuck down your throat.

You

: BUT i thought it was a dream?

: are u messing w me

The person takes time to respond before the bubble disappears. Instead, they sent a picture of you playing with the dog in the cafe you were in earlier.

Unknown #

: certainly wasn't a dream

: anywayyy how r u?

You take a full minute to process what was happening and slowly let your thumbs type.

UWUSUNG

: hold that thought

: i gtg for practice, i'll ttyl c:

: ♥️

What? Did Jisung just send you a heart? You, Y/N L/N, could talk to Park Jisung anytime you wanted to. It felt like a dream, like you were being one of those delusional fangirls. But you weren't, because this was real, you concluded after biting onto your arm.

You hadn't sent a reply back after that, as it was too much for you to take in. This only happens when your crush is in the same school as you, not when your crush is an actual idol from SM Entertainment!

You almost threw your phone the moment it rang, someone was calling you. Was it Jisung? No! He left to practice!

The contact "Kim✨😘" flashed from the screen and you sighed in relief, feeling your shoulders relax before you answered the call. Not waiting for her to make a sound, you squealed into the mic, earning a shout from her.

"What the actual FUCK?" she growled. You shrugged her clear annoyance off and started rambling about what happened. Kim, on the other hand, couldn't understand a word you were saying, telling you to shut up.

"Okay, calmly, tell me what happened," she told you, letting you breathe in normally. As you were about to speak, your phone vibrated, and you held it in front of you to check the screen. Jisung had sent you a picture of himself, although it seemed like it was taken by someone else. He was posing for the camera, a sheepish grin on his face as he went with the awkward peace sign.

You let out a laugh at this, finding the picture, which was presumably taken by Chenle, cute. You replied with a heart after saving the image.

"Hey." You heard her huff. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Hey," you repeated, lips a permanent smile. "Let's meet up tomorrow."

"Sure, but why?"

"Because you're getting your ten bucks tomorrow."

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lokisasylum · 4 years

Text

Did ya’ll make it till the end?

I gotta be honest, I tapped out right after The WINGS Trilogy Final because it was 5:30am on my end and i was headbanging so hard I nearly fell out of my chair twice 🤣🤣🤣

But atleast I got to see the end of WINGS, which lets face it... WINGS was always the SUPERIOR era.

It was an era that gave birth to some of the CRAZIEST theories (right after HYYH pt. 01 & 02), where everyone got actively involved, we read Damian and it was a wonderfully twisted story that somehow we all related to.

EVERYONE suddenly became an Art Major LOL

But most importantly, WINGS/YNWA were the eras that meant A LOT to both Armys (k-diamonds & i-lovelys) & Bangtan alike. They were eras that brought us together. Eras where each solo song forced the members to grow individually.

Through ‘Reflection’. RM learned to love himself with all his faults.

In ‘Begin’ JK expressed his feelings more openly.

‘Stigma’ & ‘Awake’, V & Jin learned that its okay to stray away from their comfort zone to find their voice.

Jhope through ‘Hey MAMA’ was able to finally tell his mother how thankful he was for all the endless love and support she gave to him on his career as a dancer and Idol.

‘First Love’ is where Suga allowed us to see another glimpse into his life and struggles with falling in and out of love with our passions/talents. And how no matter how much we grow it stays with us, becomes part of who we are.

And most importantly, Jimin was able to LET GO of his painful past self through ‘Lie’. The song that nearly broke him emotionally and psychologically. It was through this song that he was forced to face himself over and over again with his fears, those voices inside his head that told him he was a failure, that no one cared about him and he was holding everyone back. And I know he still struggles with these things but its not as severe as before. And that to me is a WIN.

Of course it goes without saying that WINGS was the era that gave them their first Daesang and opened the door to many more awards they would gain in the years to come.

WINGS was also an important era for me, personally. Especially at the start of 2017 when I was struggling with many things happening all at once on my life. I lost my dream job, and I guess with it my “dream” as well. The one thing I wasted half of my life working so hard to achieve, after 5 years of service it all just disappeared like smoke one day. No real reason given, it was an administrative decision because the place was pretty much a sinking ship trying to stay afloat. And I remember sitting alone in my room day in and day out thinking: “What now? This is all I was really good for.”, “13 years of studies and practice down the drain.”

So this point in the WINGS era really got me through those hard times and of course DNA/LY: HER got me through those months after hurricane María.

But no other era has stuck with me the way WINGS did. Which is why I was excited to see both concerts.

The Love Yourself era had... both good and VERY BAD things. Mainly in the fandom; too much solo stanning and shipping wars. The fucking cancel culture, members getting attacked or receiving death threats for very stupid/irrelevant reasons.And okay yeah, they won their first American Billboard with the help of Armys.

But... I can’t help but point out that it was an era where the fandom became really selfish with the boys. In previous eras we were full on OT7 supporters, but then in LY it was like: “[blah member] vocal king”, “[blah member] the ONLY visual”, “[blah member] the ONLY one who can dance.”, “The ONE with the stable vocals”, “[blah member] doesn’t deserve the title of Main dancer” and so on like...

I thought we were stanning the same group made out of SEVEN wonderful and talented men. Not 7 solo artists hanging out and competing against each other.

But I guess that’s what happens when a fandom grows and new people join. People who are ignorant and dont see how much the boys have worked TOGETHER to achieve the SAME GOAL since 2013.

But hey, here’s to 7 More Years in this Bangtan Sonyeondan Shit 4life, amirite? 🥂🍸🍾

#BANGBANGCON #BTS #bangtan #bantansonyeondan #Bulletproof #WINGS #wings era #the wings tour #the wings final #Spring Day #jungkook #jimin #jhope #jin #taehyung #v #suga #yoongi #hoseok #namjoon #RM

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1985music · 4 years

Text

Assembly of the Gods

Twon, If you're reading this it's too late my G.

I'm never sure where to begin with these stories. Y'all remember when Nas spit a whole story backwards? Nevermind forget it.

The year is 2013, I believe, and it's a rainy night in the fall. My boy Robbie Maxx drags my wife and I to a Meek Mill show in Teaneck NJ, just to peep the scene. The parking lot is a mad house of course. We had to wait in line and shit, which wasn't the vibe. We finally get in the spot, it's already packed and the opening acts are doing their thing. This one performer caught my attention. This short, energetic kid with his squad on stage with him screaming, "UPPERCLASS!". The young boy with the name "TWON" gleaming off his hat was spitting some fire with no fear or nervousness to a sold-out crowd in his hometown. Pretty dope performance overall. Soon after his exit from the stage Meek would come out and make is presence known. I knew that wasn't the last time I'd see or hear from that Twon guy.

Some months later Maxx would headline a show at this spot called Mexicali Live (Debonair Lounge) and guess who he throws on the bill? You guessed it, TWONDON. It had been a while since I last saw the kid and this go-around the music was a bit different. He performed and did his thing much like the first time I saw him. He was chopping it up with his fans/supporters after his performance, so I had to wait to talk to him. I hate that sh*t. I was able to properly introduce myself and extend the invitation to collab. I'll admit our first encounter wasn't the greatest. It's always weird when a ni**a that doesn't know you tries to strike a conversation. He'll tell you. Although he knew of me as being Maxx's producer/engineer up until this point we hadn't had any extensive interaction. We exchanged info and that was that. He wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say that night though.

Now it's 2014, I was floating around to different events in NYC. One in particular was a private album release party for Mobb Deep (RIP Prodigy). I want to say it was their last album, "The Infamous Mobb Deep." I'm coolin' in the spot for a little bit and guess who I bump in to? Of course, Twondon. The first thing he says to me is, "Damn B, you get around". At this point this ni**a finally realizes he can't escape the God. This time we got a chance to really chop it up. He mentioned to me he was looking for a new spot to record and a good engineer. I had to get my boy right. The first track we recorded together was, "Life's a Bitch" featuring AZ. I remember Twon asking me, "Yo B, can you somehow scratch in the Acapella of AZ from Nas' "Life's a Bitch"?” and explained how he wanted it to cut in and out of the hook. I remember thinking to myself, "This ni**a has no clue this my f**king BAG." To make a long story short my execution of what he requested was flawless. In past interviews Twon has mentioned that "Life's a Bitch" was when he found "His sound."

Soon after Twon would make 1985 Sound Studio in Belleville, NJ his new home for recording. By this time I had already mixed a few singles for him including "4th and Inches" and "Run It" featuring Bizzy Crook and slew of others. There's this on-going thing where he'll say some sh*t like "Yo B, make me sound icy" and somehow I know what he means everytime. He also connected me with a few artists he knew including a young lyricist by the name of Dolla $ign Dunn who I continue to help with developing his sound as well. In the early stages of creating with Twon he had already had a lot of his beats picked out so he didn't really need me for production. I was just helping to cultivate that Upperclass sound through my mixing and mastering techniques. It wasn't until mid 2015 that discussions of his debut EP "Stay Golden" began to take shape.

After a session one day Twon asked me about a beat I was creating on my ipad that I previewed on Instagram I think. No stories back then this was all timeline action. He said "That beat sound like me."

I didn't think anything of it, I looped up the beat, added a few more elements to it and gave it up. No charge. That was the birth of the first single "Too Committed". He sat on the beat for a short time and came back to the studio and laid the 1st verse and the hook. Later on he told me that Smoke DZA would be blessing the record and executive producing the album "Stay Golden."

"TWON!!? Antwon!! Wake your black ass up it's 1 in the afternoon..." -Gloria's Intro (Mama Twondon)

Twondon's “Stay Golden” album was released December 8, 2015, a day after my 30th Birthday. I was in Vegas my ni**a. The project was well received. The song "Million Dollar Babies" off that project racked up 600,000+ streams on Spotify alone. The whole roll-out for that project was dope. I go back and listen to that project sometimes and I love the way it sounds. It sounds just like the title, "Golden." So much work went into it and I enjoyed every minute of it. There are 10 mixes on "Too Committed" alone. Occasionally I will hear my wife bumping "All the Above." She's also partially responsible for placing "Too Committed" in the Indie film "King of Newark" (2016)

After the success of that project we continued to create and build. The last few years I've watched Twondon evolve from rapper/lyricist to clothing designer to all-around entrepreneur. Yeah man, my boy was making clothes. I had to support him because the Upperclass Intl. collections were dope, simple as that. Every collection is limited pieces, so if you miss it for the week it's available it's over. His system is untouchable to say the least. He'll give you some dope music and then turn around and give you some fresh clothes. Young Nipsey traits for sure. The one piece I missed out on was this navy blue Upperclass hoodie he dropped. Still salty about that. He know.

The inception of "God Complex"

Summer of 2016 I locked in with my brother Josh. He would come to the crib on random days and cook up. Lay hooks, make beats etc. One of the hooks he laid was on "F**k What They Tryna Say," we both knew it was special. He laid it down and we never revisted it. Typical Josh sh*t. He's just a legendary soul. He's different.

2017 I relocated to Atlanta. Twondon and I would maintain our working relationship and brother-hood from a far. We would send sessions back and forth, long ass facetime calls and sh*t. I would send beats sometimes and I stumbled across that joint "F**k What They Tryna Say" again, so I sent it to him. He didn't have anything in his catalog like it at the time. He wrote to it in about 45 minutes maybe less and sent me voice notes of the verses he had. Just undeniable flame. Since he didn't have a studio to record in at the time, I arranged to shoot back to Jersey to handle some business and record his verses. We linked up at a Sheraton I was staying at in Weehawken NJ overlooking New York City. I set up my laptop and microphone, we had some "God-Talk" and we got to work. Needless to say this record "Fuck What They Tryna Say" is about to be 4 years old by the time you guys hear it. Timeless vibes. Around the time we recorded that song I was still dealing with the indelible aftermath of my own personal police misconduct situation. It's documented that US Police had already shot and killed 72+ unarmed black males from 2015-2017. The numbers continue to rise. The message in that song is powerful, heavy and very clear, Fuck what they tryna say. We're not naive to what's happening in our communities, but as you can see we still thrive anyway. So we dont give a f**k what yall talking about. Plain and simple.

"The skeletons in the closet is rising, the truth is louder than ever they kill us and televise it..." "FWTTS" - Twondon (feat Josh.GLPA)

These last few years have made me realize how important the artist-engineer and artist-producer relationship really is. We've gotten so good at separating our business and personal lives that when this guy hits my line and simply says, "Mr. Ross," my response is normaly "Mr. Gibbs?”, I know something is coming. Would you believe we've spent the last 7 years developing his sound to what you hear today? I've mixed and mastered over 30 songs, 3 albums and 3 EPs for Twondon thus far. So many email threads, text messages, phone calls and overtime to bring to life that Upperclass sound you know him for. “God Complex” is just a cornerstone of what we've been able to build together on this journey of ours. Songs like “199$” and “Trips Up North,” are the creative by-product of our extensive conversations about life, man-hood, spirituality and how we are limitless in our thinking and resilient in what we pursue. We are Gods in our own right. Like Ye said, "I just told you who I thought I was, a God". Just respect it. Hope you enjoy this masterpiece. More music on the way. It's Upperclass ̡

Written by Brandon "Plan B '85" Ross 1985 Music

Stream/Buy God Complex NOW

http://smarturl.it/GODCOMPLEXPACK

#twondon #spotify #tidal #applemusic #plan b '85 #god complex #new music #youtube #1985music

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meleuki · 5 years

Text

g2k me uncomfortably well

1. What is your middle name?

It’s my grandmother’s first name. I’m not gonna say what it is tho.

2. How old are you?

I am an age.

3. When is your birthday?

31st of March, same day as Angus Young hell yeah.

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Aries

5. What is your favourite colour?

Black, Purple & Red.

6. What’s your lucky number?

1,714 (long story).

7. Do you have any pets?

I have one little dog, he’s cute asf.

8. Where are you from?

Australia.

9. How tall are you?

5′4/5′5, I can’t tell most of the time.

10. What shoe size are you?

US 9 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

um like 12, but I only wear about 5 of them regularly.

12. What was your last dream about?

some dude turning into this cannibalistic animal type thing & me becoming friends with two ghost boys who murdered a bunch of people, and then got murdered and having to figure the rest of the case out for them. (supernatural has kinda been rubbing off on my dreams lmao.)

13. What talents do you have?

I can play guitar and piano. I can cook pretty good?? I also have a talent for being a dumb ass.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I don’t believe I am.

15. Favourite song?

atm, Enter Sandman by Metallica

16. Favourite movie?

IT (2017), or, Scream.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

oh golly, I don’t know actually. I just think I need someone who has some confidence, a kind soul and an open mind, and is able to put a smile on my face even when i dont want it. So far, I haven’t met someone who has caught my eye, but i hope one day I do.

18. Do you want children?

Yes, YES.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

no I don’t. I want one in a garden area type thingy.

20. Are you religious?

i’m not sure.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yeah like 4-5 times.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

nope, I don’t plan on it.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I haven’t.

24. Baths or showers?

both

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing any.

26. Have you ever been famous?

pft, nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I would, but only for the reach of my music.

28. What type of music do you like?

Rock ‘n Roll, Blues, Jazz, Indie, Classical, Punk, etc. (pretty much anything)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

I have never.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

four. two under my head, and two on the side of my bed.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i’m either on my right or my left side, one leg up so my knee is diagonal with my stomach and one stretched out, one hand at my chest and one arm resting over my side.

32. How big is your house?

one story, medium size ish.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

coffee... and maybe sometimes I’ll have a smoothie.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yeppp, I have. It was ages ago tho.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

I’ve only really ever done archery on summer camps or school camps. Although I was pretty good at it whenever I tried.

36. Favourite clean word?

spellbinding

37. Favorite swear word?

F U C K

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe a little over two days.

39. Do you have any scars?

I do. Some on my knees, a lot on my back and my hips. My fingers are pretty scratched up a lot too.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

‘scuse me what? no, never.

41. Are you a good liar?

Indeed I am. But I don’t like to lie.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I’d like to think I’m good at reading people.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can do a pretty generic American accent and a stupid posh British one.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’d say I don’t, especially hearing me compared to some other Australians - my accent isn’t strong at all. You can definitely tell where I’m from though.

45. What is your favourite accent?

Russian, or German.

46. What is your personality type?

Chaotic dumb bitch, who rants about nature, peace and love.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

um, my macpac jacket, which was like $300. (It was also a birthday present from my mum, and she worked there at the time so it was cheap.)

48. Can you curl your tongue?

I think I can??

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie.

50. Left or right-handed?

right-handed. A bitch can do jack shit with her left.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

I used to be, I kinda want a pet tarantula now tbh.

52. Favourite food?

Chicken noodle soup, fight me.

53. Favourite foreign food?

Lasagne.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Usually, I’m pretty messy, I can’t work in an environment that is completely clean, but somedays I just like to clean shit up.

55. Most used phrase?

“Sorry, what?”

56. Most used word?

definitely, “bro”.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

if a shower is included, like an hour. But without a shower, like 20mins.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

No, I don’t.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck them. (how tf you gon taste a lollipop if you bite it??)

60. Do you talk to yourself?

All the fucking time. When I’m writing I talk myself through the story by mumbling the words to myself a lot. Other times I might be doing the dishes, getting dressed or doing something mundane and I’ll just begin to have a conversation with myself.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

bitch yes, all the fucking time.

62. Are you a good singer?

I like to think that I’m okay.

63. Biggest Fear?

Losing my ability to see.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, unless the person in question has done something shitty to me or a close friend, AND I will only talk about with a close friend.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I don’t mind either way, but long hair makes my knees weak.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

bitch, HAHAH, nope.

68. Favourite school subject?

English, but really only when we’re doing creative writing.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Smack me right in the middle.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

nope, never ever, and I never plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous?

A lot of shit, not gonna lie.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

yES, the dark stems from my main fear, loss of my sight. I can’t be in control of the situations around me.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends what kind of mistakes we’re taking here.

74. Are you ticklish?

yes, and I fucken hate it.

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

I don’t think I ever have. Maybe accidentally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

people call me a mum? So, I guess?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

wtf no, who do u think I am wtf???? JK, yes, all the time. Whenever I get the chance.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

ask @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx .

79. Who was your first real crush?

Some dude named Tyler, he turned out to be an ass tho.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, but I want like four more.

81. Can you roll your R’s?

a little, but only for like two seconds.

82. How fast can you type?

@livewiredroger tells me I’m an aggresive typer so, I guess I’m pretty fast at punching the fuck outta my keyboard.

83. How fast can you run?

ok, kinda hate running, it hurts my tits. But I’m a sprinter, long-distances kill me.

84. What colour is your hair?

black, dark brown and honey brown. I dyed it black and it’s growing out, looks cool tho so I don’t mind.

85. What color is your eyes?

blue, green, grey. I don’t know which one, I’ve been told all of them too many times.

86. What are you allergic to?

nothing that I know of. Pretty sure I’ve got an intolerence to mushrooms tho, and dairy does weird things to my stomach.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I do, I haven’t written in it in a few weeks tho. Reading back through my depressive episodes isn’t a fun trip.

88. What do your parents do?

job-wise? They’re both teachers for primary school kids.

89. Do you like your age?

I guess? I dunno.

90. What makes you angry?

A lot of things, but I’ve learnt to control it, mostly.

91. Do you like your own name?

I don’t hate it.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have. Boy names; East, Patrick, Samuel. Girls names; Piper, Lila, Milan.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I would love a boy. If I had a girl I would love her all the same. But right now, a boy is what I have in mind.

94. What are you strengths?

kill em with kindness

95. What are your weaknesses?

I can be very forward, or very frustrated.

96. How did you get your name?

my mum just turned to my dad and was like, “hey what about this?” and my dad was like, “yup, sure thing.”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

NAh.

98. Do you have any scars?

I answered this one already?

99. Colour of your bedspread?

blue and beige.

100. Colour of your room?

One wall is aqua blue, the others are white. Mostly blue aesthetic I guess.

I tag: @guns-n-crue @gretavanyeeeeet @solohqrry @punkslap @livewiredroger

@antheasnow @malibubarbievince

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like-twilight · 5 years

Text

My 100 most listened to songs this year (that are on Spotify) :3

Ateez: Twilight (not even surprised there, its my favourite song ever)

Ateez: Wave (even though I’m an Illusion type of gal Illusion is usually for when i feel good, and Wave is when I want to feel better and keep my spirits up at work so. hence)

Ateez: Say My Name (she’s perfect)

Ateez: Illusion (AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Ateez: Aurora (shut up its hONGJOONG’S SONG)

Ateez: Hala Hala (DEEP IN MY HEART, DEEP IN MY SOUL)

BTS: Boy With Luv (lies and deceit, this is NOT my most listened to BTS track, last.fm can back me up)

BTS: Dionysus (SHE WAS MY MOST PLAYED BTS TRACK AND thats the periodt on that tea i just aged fifty years)

Ateez: Utopia (WE CAN TOUCH UTOPIA WE CAN REACH THERE UTOPIA)

Ateez: Dancing Like Butterfly Wings (WHOUOOAH WHWOAUHAIFD)

Ateez: Pirate King (for the hundredth time, Hongjoong, i WILL be your friend)

BTS: Make It Right (no)

Seventeen: HIT (listen………………………………………….. shouldve been the title track)

TxT: Crown (i am so happy my most listened to txt track isnt….. something else…. *gulps* good job, hatchlings. and when will i stop calling you hatchlings? NEVER)

Ateez: Sunrise (HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHONGJOONG’S SONG - listen this song is cheesy and im absolutely in love with it. i want. joy. my heart Seeks it, i cant help it)

BTS: Mikrokosmos (like i said fuck joy)

Taemin: Stone Heart (im being called out for being a sad thot. or a horny emo. idk)

GentleBeatz: Cold Night (pls im crying)

ATEEZ: Precious (MINGIIIIYYAAAAAHHHHH. fuck it up, son)

BTS: Home (im exhauussted man. guess wat. i jus wanna go home. ME TOO, namjoon)

Day6: Beautiful Feeling (its the tragedy of my life that there are no caps in hangul. this is truly. the most beautiful song and it brings me so much happiness. and dowoon. it brings me so much dowoon.)

Seventeen: CLAP (*vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass* bbbBAkKKSSsUUUuu)

Sunmi: LaLaLay (this is why i think this list definitely has a limit on how many songs you can have from an artist on this list because LaLaLay is like my fiftieth most-listened to this year according to last.fm and has a lot of BTS and Seventeen and more ATEEZ before it so idk. anyway sunmi good, release a minialbum pleaaaase?)

BTS: Jamais Vu (its jins song :<)

Ateez: Crescent (*closes eyes* nO)

Day6: Like That Sun (BOIIII day6 really is something else)

Seventeen: Home (honestly? i cry. awh i cant believe this year started with seventeen, it was so so so so nice to become a carat x””””) and this song, man… warmth ♥)

BTS: Intro: Persona (WHO THE HELL AM I)

Ateez: Treasure (hoOOOOBOI thank fuck i watched the dance practice that made me appreciate this song better x””))

Taemin: Want (quote from myself: “I’m not sure about the song but Taemin is a really beautiful man” oKAY)

Seventeen: Our Dawn Is Hotter Than Day (my actual favourite svt song :”””) its. peace ♥)

Lauv: I’m So Tired (bitch i am)

Ateez: Promise (NO ONE TAAAKE YOOUUUUU DOOOOOOOWN)

NCT Dream: Boom (what are these foetuses doing here lmao)

BTS: I Need U (whats THIS motherfucker doing here x”) fuck off)

BSS: Just Do It (the Only Song)

Ateez: My Way (this Hongjoong rap……. i swear, my LIFE)

Seventeen: Boomboom (the LEAST LIKED SVT TITLE TRACK??!?! kiSS MY BUTT)

BTS: Mic Drop (u kno, the steve aoki one)

……………. TxT: Cat & Dog (listen…… its Yeonjun’s rap, i swear! IM INNOCENT!!!)

Ateez: Stay (me: its the Wanted intro song! x”””))

Seventeen: Don’t Wanna Cry (ulgo shipji anha bitch)

BTS: Blood Sweat & Tears (last year’s most listened………. still as horny as ever)

NCT 127: Superhuman (they do have a lot of songs that i love but i feel like this is the song?! like The Song?!?!? The Comeback? its just so well put together and i love LOVE the choreo. doyoung ate the vocals)

Ateez: Desire (another song i really didnt appreciate in the beginning but. I changed my ways, i promise, tHAT OUTROOOOOO)

Stray Kids: Miroh (fine, fINE THEY GOT ME WITH THIS ONE)

Seventeen: Lie Again (bitch. also i realised my favourite line isnt even said by mingyu its said by mr. scoops. anyway im in pain)

BTS: Anpanman (i still cant believe how Actually good this song is x”””))

Ateez: Wonderland (you know for a song that was only released two months ago! only one of which was measured by spotify, its p good! gAJAAAAA)

Taemin: Sexuality (that one perf. you know the one. yeah.)

Apink: 응응 (this was released in JANUARY and its still one of the best songs this year)

BTS: Trivia: Seesaw (he has a CHOREO)

Ateez: Light (yuNHO’S SONG)

Seventeen: Getting Closer (fuck them haters, this is the most well-put together svt song that exists fight me about it)

Shinee: Symptoms (this song is Beautiful, i remember going through shinee’s discography and being FLOORED)

BTS: Go Go (yoloyoloyoloyo)

Ateez: WIN (AAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE)

Seventeen: Bring It (Hoshi: imma kill everyone in this mofakin house)

Taemin: Artistic Groove (”oh i dont like this song that much” she said “Im a fucking LIAR” she said)

BTS: Pied Piper (why nOT DIMPLE)

Ateez: Mist (WOOYOUNG’S SONG)

Seventeen: If I (The Hip Hop Unit Song)

Taemin: Move (its Her)

BTS: Epiphany (:< lovely jin ♥ i remember getting into bts and deciding to bias jin Immediately and then five days later this bitch drops you ain ever seen an emotional rollercoaster like that)

Ateez: Thank U (dude when yunho and yeosang go hAL MARI ISSEO and the jongho goes nEOL SAENGGAKHAMYEON BYE)

Seventeen: Moonwalker (this is so random x”) WHY NOT ROCKET since i have to be tormented by my sins anyway)

Taemin: Shadow (fair, fair, this was my favourite from this album for a long time)

Trivia: Love (nae sarang sarang sarang)

Ateez: Dazzling Light (CHOREO!??!?!)

Seventeen: No F.U.N. (this is such a random selection of svt songs spotify put in here x”””))

Taemin: my current fave from this album :””))

NCT 127: Touch (BITCH IM SO SOFT FOR THIS SONG ITS SO CUTE)

Ateez: With U (cOFFEE SHOP MUSIC)

BTS: Begin (why this. i dont even like jk)

Block B: Very Good - Rough Ver. (of course this is on here x”””) LETS GO)

Day6: Sing Me (that one live did it for me where jae just Goes Missing and then he’s in the middle of the crowd suddenly yes very good)

Ateez: If Without You (little known fact the OOOOH and WhoOOOAOaa sound effects in the background are all Me)

Taemin: Danger (neolhumchyeogayohumchyeogayo)

BTS: Dimple (finally! anyway this choreo was a mistake)

NCT 127: Simon Says (”i dont like this song that much” sHE LIED AGAIN)

Ateez: Beginning of the End (why lmao)

Day6: Somehow (ahhh this used to be my ultimate favourite day6 song and its still v close to the top ahahhHfdjhkéfdosdjágf I love IT)

Seventeen: Hug :<

Oneus: 가자 (GIVE ONEUS THEIR WELL-DESERVED WIN THEY HAD THREE KILLER TITLE TRACKS THIS YEAR THEYRE AMAZING)

NCT U: Boss (jungooooo ♥♥)

BTS: Reflection (Kim Namjoon Made Me Cry In Public????!!?!)

Seventeen: Highlight (get. out. of. my. sight.)

Bastille: Bad Decisions (is…. is this the first (and possibly only…) non k-pop song on this list,!??! hahAhfddéjfdk)

Day6: Shoot Me (DEI SIKSEU DEI SIKSEU WHOOOOOOOOOO that was the fanchant)

Steve Aoki (feat. two random people): Waste It On Me (kim namjoon stop telling me to eat you)

Seventeen: Oh My! (ah when i used to listen to this every morning to give me Good Mood)

Oneus: Twilight (taEYANGI TTEOREOJINDA)

Taemin: Thirsty (same)

Editors: Barricades (oh good, save me, tom, sAVE ME. this song is actually amazing. i love uhhhhh uUUUHHHH frankenstein and the other new ones (i know their titles) but this one is just up there too ♥♥)

Seventeen: Good to Me (and then mingyu outthotted everyone and the world exploded, the end)

Day6: 121U (the song that first got stuck with me!)

Baekhyun: UN Village (this is so random but i mean i wont lie.)

The Boyz: Bloom Bloom (im so happy this is on here. these guyz deserve so much more love and recognition ♥♥ both bloom bloom and ddd are amazing and. theyve had a year)

Seventeen: Very Nice (you could say this song is… aju nice ;-))

Momomeme: Gogobebe (oh does this mean i can be bisexual? since theres a gg on this list? PLEEEEEEASE)

#spotify #spotify wrapped #yey :)#a qUARTER of this is ateez lmao #more even #there was EIGHT bts last year #theres more now i think nine...teen?#idk but lol

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blatherkatt · 6 years

Note

i just started reading your blumenthal kids reunionfic and i LOVE IT! Its so good and so full of potential and angst and I LOVE IT!!!💞💞💞 The way you write Eodwulf is soooo good hes such a mess and so gay help him. and Astrid Omg... I cant wait for more of her i checked out some of your posts on here and shes just great??? You've clearly put a lot of thought into them with the child designs and stuff, did you have any major inspo for the two of them like songs or other characters and stuff???

hey tumblr dont…delete part of my answer what the heck

anyway!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH,,, ed ( @tactfulgrimalkin ) is the one doing the actual writing but we plan everything together and i edit and do artwork so he deserves lots of love for the great writing…i dont remember what else i had here before tumblr deleted it so i hope thats the gist of it

eodwulf is a gay disaster of a bastard man and astrid is SO fun and im SO GLAD UR EXCITED TOO BECAUSE WE SURE ARE

anyway you just opened pandora’s box and i’m very sorry for the length of the rest of this answer but here we go prepare for some cursed content necessary to answer that question ( | ) w ( | ) it was a Wild Ride getting these two characters to where they are boy howdy

so the thing is in order to explain how we created these characters i actually have to get into the origins of the fic on the whole because the two are inextricably linked, and also, the origins of this fic are incredibly cursed and you can send all ur hatemail right here go on blast us we’re ready

but we were talking about caleb and how we’re both excited for whenever astrid and eodwulf turn up, and the thought came up for basically the rough skeleton of that scene in chapter 2:

“hey how messed up would it be if instead of them both hunting him down like we’re expecting…one of them comes in with a huge savior complex and sincerely thinks he’s delusional and should still be in the asylum, how MESSED UP would that be”

…and then shortly after that, this happened

thats the cursed part dont say i didnt warn u but listen you know we’re right

also that pic of caduceus didnt exist back then i went back and got this screenshot just to share the curse with you all

ANYWAY

in classic us format we got carried away and eodwulf got slotted into the role of that scene in chapter two and his character was largely developed around that scene, like, what kind of person would still be clinging to caleb after all this time to that degree to make that happen? and what was come up with was an extremely avoidant person clinging to a fantasy version of things wherein they don’t have to fight

(eodwulf was developed into a Person before astrid, i should note at this point, and ed did most of that developing; i took point on astrid later on)

but around this time i went “screw it im gonna do some concept art we’re both in too deep now” so here’s some of that for u guys

started with them all as teens and did a couple sketches as well as one of baby (well. teen. so baby) caleb/bren/we were calling him felix at the time as some of u probably already know

first draft had astrid with longer hair than eodwulf lmao check this out

flipped the hair length on those two which was for the best because at the time we were imagining eodwulf as a bit more mischevious which is another thing that got reversed over time now astrids the prankster and eodwulfs the overworked mom friend because bren takes astrid’s ideas and makes them SO MUCH WORSE but he still looks better with longer hair and then i played around w/ colors for a while and wound up w/ this

voila, the initial kid concepts, to which subtle yet vital changes were made after time. if any of you are curious about if im frustrated that that’s still the best i’ve ever drawn eodwulf’s nose the answer is yes. yes i am.

astrid’s hair is not messy enough, theres not enough freckles, and she does not look ready to fight the entire world for a dare. 0/10.

anyway then i did adult versions which look WAY OFF NOW LMAO

eodwulf with way too much beard, looking far too messy when he ought to look very clean so that he can hide how much of a disaster he actually is, and also a glimpse into the very boring Ice Queen/Heartless Bitch we vaguely had astrid as to start with. even more out of character tho is the earring, astrid as she is today would absolutely never tolerate an earring unless she absolutely had to, girl’s got sensory issues but she didn’t back then. ALSO STILL NOT ENOUGH FRECKLE

anyWHO a while after this it was decided that eodwulf has ADHD, something both the authors have a whole lot of lmao, and that was the point where ed REALLY took off and developing eodwulf went out of control and we both went Well I Guess We’re Gonna Have To Write This At Some Point Now

and with that happening is when developing astrid took more priority i think, because man, at that point in the game she came way too close to that really annoying trope that shows up in fanfic a lot wherein The Girl is A Bitch who is Getting In The Way Of ~*The Yaois*~ and thats like, thats bad. we knew from the outset we were absolutely not setting this up as a love triangle because we both hate those but even w/ her having no romantic relationship to either of the two, like…she was kind of just There and the one who was most loyal to trent (the only thing of her original characterization that really stuck, honestly) and sooo boring????

so like, and i say this honestly, i managed to COMPLETELY FORGET that “reverse sasuke” cursed comment from the beginning of all this and STILL go “well what if we made her more like caleb’s rival that’d be fun”

and that’s how astrid sorta wound up accidentally morphing into the Scrappy Underdog of this anime trio and calling her a naruto analogue is extremely cursed but also not inaccurate tbh

started out with the concept of her popping into bren’s window because she heard they were doing magic and wanted to learn it too and evolved from there; we decided that she was gonna be neurodivergent too but, hilariously, initially that she was “the best at pretending to be neurotypical” (WE COMPLETELY REVERSED THAT AND IT IS FOR THE BETTER. SHE’S SO MUCH MORE FUN NOW) and made her also autistic because it one meant she could be like SAME HAT at bren really hard which’d make her feel more like part of the group instead of just the odd one out, and two because it fits with the whole rivals thing

branching off of that we made her just. INCREDIBLY direct. like. astrid’s thought process is “how can i accomplish what i want accomplished with the smallest number of steps? what are the consequences of doing it this way? do i give a shit? no? im gonna do that.”

(which is why she climbed a tree to get into bren’s attic instead of using the door because that way she just completely skipped having to convince his mom to let her in)

i cant get into it much here because so many spoilers and we’re gonna explore it all, but like, astrid’s backstory turned into this exploration of the intersection of sexism and ableism especially as applied to a medieval-esque society in which the word “autism” doesn’t even EXIST and in which a convenient double standard exists Right There in the form of bren and like,, its gonna be good guys im excited for it

as far as characters tho she does also have just a touch of Vimes from discworld to her, albeit like, she’s lawful evil to his lawful good, but she’s got the same tendency to stick REALLY FIERCELY to the rules that she thinks are important, even when they inconvenience her, even if it’d be so much easier to bend them just this once

and for songs i cannot link like any astrid songs because they all might accidentally give away so much BUT I CAN LINK AN EODWULF SONG

youtube

this one was HUGE for him

uhhhh i think that’s everything i can think of that we can say right now unfortunately so i’ll end this with a comparison to the current teen designs we have now that are being used in the actual fic, even tho im not fond of how bren came out in this picture, but like, for the sake of comparison

lets see how far we’ve come

I N C R E A S E F R E C K L E

#longpost #SORRY TO PEOPLE ON MOBILE #zemnianghosts #i also got a lot better at drawing them all over time #just like. so much

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