#i guess this just what i do when im not motivated enough for art

[slytherinshua]

YOU'RE SUCH A DORK

genre. fluff. warnings. kissing. pairing. taeyong x fem!reader. wc. 814. request. no. a/n. just a lil smth i wrote for @blue-jisungs but yeah this does mean that im writing for nct now !!!! im excited to write for them 🥹

“I can’t focus when you’re doing that.” You stated. It took absolutely every ounce of your willpower to not look at your boyfriend who was trying so hard to steal your attention away whether he realized it or not. His head rested on your desk, and you could just see in your peripheral vision his big boba eyes that watched you as you worked, as well as a small pout on his cherry red lips.

“I’m not doing anything.” He mumbled, and his voice came out so small and soft that you could feel your heart melting in your chest.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, Yongie.” You insisted, dropping your pencil down on your notebook. You glanced at him just in time to see his lips lift slightly into a smile and you shook your head. No matter how much your boyfriend denied it, you knew he had perfected the art of how to distract you. It wasn’t even hard— all he really had to do was look at you with those big shiny eyes and you’d be folding.

“Do you have to do these stupid exercises?” He asked, lifting his head up from the desk and stretching. You didn’t blame him for getting a little bored; watching someone work was never the most entertaining thing to do. Even if you had only been studying for 20 minutes, you were also already tired of it.

“Unfortunately.” You nodded your head with a sigh.

“You’ve been staring at the same one for 5 minutes.”

“Yeah, I know.” You frowned, “I’m just not motivated, I guess.” Your boyfriend perked up at your comment.

“I can motivate you.” He offered, shuffling his chair a little closer to yours. 

You raised an eyebrow, “How so?” Whenever Taeyong had that ghost of a mischievous smile on his face, you knew you were in trouble.

“For every exercise you complete, I’ll give you a kiss.” He layed out the rules, and you immediately had to fight back a smile. Your boyfriend was such a dork. 

You pretended to think about it for a minute before agreeing. Even though you knew that the reason he was staring at you so hard earlier was probably because he wanted kisses, his plan did sound motivating enough to work on you. With your newfound focus from the thought of a promised kiss, you looked back at the problem and easily completed it within the next few minutes.

“Done.” You turned back to your boyfriend and used your pencil to point at the neat sentences you had written out. He nodded as his eyes scanned over it and his left hand pulled your chair closer to him at the same time. 

Within seconds his lips collided with yours and you closed your eyes, savouring the feeling and taste of his minty lip balm. You pouted as soon as the kiss was over. It didn’t feel long enough, but you were sure that even if you kissed Taeyong for a whole day, you would still feel like it wasn’t enough. You went back to work on the next problem without any protest.

The pattern went on for about an hour, and each time you completed an exercise, you got another kiss. As it went on, the kisses started to last a little longer. You could only assume that your boyfriend was trying to balance out how long it took you to complete a problem with how long the kiss was. 

It was in the middle of your 7th or 8th problem when you finally gave up, dropping your pencil down and slouching back in your chair. Taeyong’s kisses had definitely helped you, but your brain was exhausted and it felt like repeatedly smashing your head against a brick wall everytime you looked at another exercise.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You mumbled in defeat making your boyfriend look up from his phone.

“Do you need more kisses?” He offered. Your frown deepened at his offer, silently wondering how you got so lucky having someone as sweet as him as your boyfriend. You nodded in response to his suggestion and he let out a laugh.

“You’re cute.” Was all he whispered before he leaned over and reconnected his lips to yours. You could feel all the stress and exhaustion dissipate from your mind as Taeyong’s lips became the only thing your brain could focus on. He was balancing his hands on the armrests of your desk chair, holding himself up as he leaned over you; and it was perfect.

Perfect until he lost his balance and fell on you.

You burst into giggles when Taeyong’s lips detached from yours and his head hit your shoulder. You could hear him laughing too after he got over the shock of the kiss being unwelcomingly interrupted by his lack of focus on keeping himself up.

“You’re such a dork.”

↳ nct 127 taglist: @kangtaehyunzzz,,

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[curryswirl]

ive seen a lot of responses to this post that are clarifying what they think "make art for yourself" is intended to mean-- that its not really referring to making it for no one to view but rather its referring to what you make and why. and i just wanted to do a little follow up and say that you guys are definetly correct in a lot of instances~ in those instances, i in fact agree, also. i do think determining what you want to make via what you think people will like ONLY is probably an unhealthy way to create (although it can certainly be a component of your decision making), just as i think doing it for ONLY likes and numerical engagement is not the way to be either!

i was specifically responding to cases where i have seen people problematize the desire to have ones art seen at all, though-- something i have come across frequently, too. i wouldnt be suprised if this was an extreme evolution of the former, as that tends to be the case for heavily parroted rhetoric online.

it was an angry post and i stand by it, but i do apologize if it made anyone feel like they are "doing it wrong" or whatever. in truth, i think my motivation for making the post stems from, at its root, the sadness i feel when people blame other people for the tendecies that have been incentivized wrt engagement online... and i would never want to make anyone feel that exact way.

like, some people also identified the problem as due to "people not caring enough to reblog" or some other cultural shift due to individual shortcomings. i dont think thats completely and utterly untrue in all cases, but in my opinion much of this behavior is due to the platforms we engage on, and the behavior they incentivize, not some modern widespread negligence of artists by individual people.

websites are set up the way they are because long form, complex engagement does not make as much ad revenue. over a long period of time, users have been conditioned to scroll quickly and see more ads because thats what the UI encourages... and those who post are conditioned to desire a climbing number of likes/notes/whatever, because shorter and shorter dopamine hits have diminishing value.

there is intention behind every website beginning to look the same. there is intention behind every aspect of a user interfaces design. and it is my belief that this has caused it to be less rewarding to take time to leave a comment or to stay on one post for a long period of time.

if you combine that with the general, worsening life experience of the working class-- with the emotional fatigue, the intellectual drain... the amount of ignoring you have to do, the amount of swallowing of horrible, seemingly unchangeable horrors day in and day out just to bare living on this earth, you get an emotionally exhausted populace that does not have the time or energy to truly invest in engaging with art.

this is not your fault. this is not your peers fault. if youre not a billionaire, a capitalist of influence or in a position of power or authority, its probabaly not your fault either.

i guess what im trying to say is please continue to strive to punch up, and to always question the systems that incentivize our behavior before you turn to punching sideways and criticizing the people who are living in the same world as you. empathy is everything, and its all we have.

[ushouldwatchhaikyuu]

hawo! i saw ur post about the xreader thing and uh… i go by she/her, im a stem girlie if that helps, i like arts and volleyball, i used to game a lot but im trying to lessen it cuz its becoming a bad habit, i like reading and music too, and i bake/cook when im not feeling lazy or am particularly stressed about something, and i guess im pretty quiet? like, i come off as intimidating to a lot of people but im literally just generally anxious 😭 i get hyperfixated on random stuff and get distracted easily + find studying very very super hard and boring but am in honors somehow. i care a lot about my family but i have trouble forming connections outside of childhood friends and stuff, thats the gist of me. i would love headcanons with kageyama or kenma! (maybe both if ure generous? or sugawara or tsukki work too idk choosing a haikyuu fave is impossible)

Kageyama & Kenma x F!reader

warnings: none!

girl u are very relatable (anxious, easily distracted, hiperfixated, arts & stem people rise up) and im also very much a kageyama kinda guy lets be friends LMFAO /hj

gif credit: kenma & kageyama ; dividers credit

Kageyama Tobio:

oh my guy is also very much someone who gets very hyperfixated on stuff, chances are once u become close enough, both of you would start rambling/infodumping onto each other and would accidentally get into whatever the other one is hyperfixated on lmfao. like one day you'd come up to him and just ramble for 15 mins about some historical event and next day he would call you at 2am and go "GIRL THATS NOT EVEN THE FULL STORY GUESS WHAT I LEARNT ABOUT THAT" and viceversa.

since both of you are on the quieter side, chances are you might not speak every single day, but whenever you do speak, you could spend hours doing nothing but that. he's a very pleasant person to have long talks with and he would always be super interested in whatever you talk to him about

he's dumb as bricks when it comes to school stuff and struggles to study as much as you– but since you get good grades, he would come to you for help. which would lead to VERY chaotic but thoroughly enjoyable studying sessions lol.

he would always be so eager to play volleyball with you, regardless of how good you are. if you're on a lower level than him, he would tease you about it but also be very patient and explain everything to you a thousand times if need be (in his own way of course, which would probably include at least a few insults each time, but it's all in good nature)

he would very much enjoy just watching you draw/paint in silence or while listening to music. he finds it fascinating & very calming

he would go ABSOLUTELY WILD if you ever paint/draw a portrait of him. im talking like "weak to the knees, teary eyes & needs at least 1-5 business days to process it" type of emotional

Kozume Kenma:

oh girl he would be TERRIBLE for your gaming addiction lmfao

however!! if you are motivated enough to get better with that, you would probably try to get him to form healthier habits too and he would resist, but ultimately try to listen to you.

you would both probably spend hours straight just enjoying each other's company, not really talking that much, just doing your own thing (him gaming & you painting/reading etc)

he would be so shy whenever he includes you in streams and people say you two look cute together

whenever he's tired but still wants to spend time with you, he would love laying down with his head on your lap while you read for him and play with his hair

his way of showing affection would be to ask you to play his new fav videogame with him, or join him in streams, or send you playlists with music he thinks you would like

he would also play songs you like on the background of his treams and get fricking demonetized all the time because of it, but he still does it

he also tries to comission you to make his pfps/headers and pics for streams (he would get so shy and happy when you say that yes, boyfriend privileges include free drawings, indeed)

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

[ganondoodle]

I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

[stiffyck]

you inspire me a lot as an artist <3 when you were still figuring out your style and learning basic stuff, how did you keep yourself motivated? im at that point where im still learning basic anatomy and it frustrates me enough to make me lose all motivation

Honestly I have no clue. I was mostly drawing for myself and never actually intended to like. Become an artist? I tried to apply for an art school (high school, not college btw. No clue how other school systems work but yeah) and I somehow got in? And we had figure drawing and stuff so I HAD to do this sorta stuff for school basically.

Tbh art school taught me that I most likely do not want art to be my job I just want to draw stuff for myself.

So uhhh this is very bad advice because I don't really have any advice djfjrkfj I just had to do my school work which was art and figure drawing and perspective (I HATED perspective. My god the amount of times we've had to draw a cube.... )

So I guess try to like... figure out what you like drawing and try to get better at that? You can tell yourself that when you get better you will be able to draw stuff you can't do right now or idk.

I'm rambling I don't know how else to put any of this FJVKRKGKKE

Just have fun, look at references and try to figure out how stuff works and why it looks the way it does.

One thing I did like doing in art school that we had as homework most of the time were the quick few second sketches.

Take a pen or a marker or something, some nice color if you want, go sit in a park or somewhere and try to sketch people in the park. Literally just quick sketches, no erasing or correcting, just do a few quick lines.

That's supposed to make you get a grasp a little bit of grasp at anatomy and capture movement. If you combine this with something like figure drawing where you just focus on doing studies of anatomy, best done with a live model, you'll get better and better.

I should keep doing these things too probably but tbh I don't really care if my art gets better atp I just like doing this for fun.

Hope you like my non-advice because I got real rambly. It's 1 am I have an excuse.

[vypridae]

HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK

anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]

DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM

under a cut because these got LONG

MORI

first impression

honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .

impression now

i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!

favorite moment

honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me

outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him

idea for a story

genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up

unpopular opinion

uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him

favorite relationship

HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses

favorite headcanon

uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this

TECCHOU

first impression

genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"

impression now

i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw

favorite moment

every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)

idea for a story

oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all

unpopular opinion

i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him

favorite relationship

EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD

favorite headcanon

he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA

FYODOR

first impression

i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???

impression now

still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!

favorite moment

YES. /j

in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh

the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me

time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene

ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM

idea for a story

oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug

unpopular opinion

hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI

(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)

favorite relationship

fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)

favorite headcanon

UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move

i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)

actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it

[irenehateslife]

5 things i love about you /platonic

1. you’re such a lovely person. like you’re just. so sweet. a genuinely nice person. im rambling but it’s true

2. you’re so talented. so so insanely talented and cool and gifted and awesome

3. you’re always there. for everyone. you always listen, give support, etc and i think you don’t get enough appreciation for how lovely you are to do that

4. you’re just. you. that’s really vague but you’re just. genuine. you’re you and you’re irene and i love you for that

4. you’re always so encouraging and supportive, like when i show you things I’ve taught myself you’re always there to listen and motivate me and i just love knowing that i have you in my corner as someone i can show my stuff

5. you’re just an amazing human being. 10/10. 5 star .deserves all the love in the world. very much appreciated by the people around you. great person. much loved.

i answered my other inbox asks first because this is truly just insanely cool and flattering to see. i always feel like people don’t like me but i just

i don’t know i guess im wrong

you’re insanely nice to other people. i feel like you aren’t appreciated enough (however much you are it isn’t enough) because you’re just so nice to people

you’re very cool. i don’t think you believe that but you are very cool. you’re so impressive as well but i think you just have a very cool style or behavior or personality or what have you

you’re impressive as hell. i play guitar but i really believe that you create art. everything you have shown me has been disgustingly beautiful and unbelievable.

i think you’re incredibly resilient and i don’t think you know how resilient you are. you are stronger than the world. the world will try to hurt you but you’re stronger. you’re incredibly resilient

you don’t hurt people. you’re blessed to be a rare person that i am yet to see hurt anyone yet. it’s not that it won’t happen (or even that it shouldn’t happen) but you just know how to make people like you and i really envy you for that

i’m sorry but i really don’t know how to finish this list, it could go on and on. i really don’t think it truly ends. i didn’t answer for a day because i needed the time to respond in full. i’ve also been looking at the message in my inbox just because of how nice it is honestly.

[nighttime-tea-party]

soooo idk who else to ask but like what happened to all the big names during the sebaciel renaissance?? I’ve kinda been off tumble pretty much since nsfw ban, but what happened to blogs like chromehopelite and ciel’s lingerire or vexing young master? Im sure there’s others I’m missing I just can’t remember but I feel like no one uploads on the sebaciel ao3 tag as much as it used to in like 2017 and 2018. hopefully the fandom will come alive again with a new season?

Hello! I have no idea what happened to Vexing Young Master but as for the others, as far as I know, Ciels Lingerie got obliterated again and again, both here and on twitter, and I guess at one point they gave up. Their latest twitter seems to have been hacked by crypto bros.

Chromehoplite is still around, just not in the fandom anymore. And who can blame them, considering the amount of vile messages they got on a daily basis.

To be honest, I've been active in the tumblr fandom for... Idk how long, before BoC, and it was the most prolific back when BoC aired. After that, it's been a downward spiral. It got a bit refreshment through BoM and BotA but not in the same way. Back during BoM, the fandom felt huge.

I think it's a natural development. Manga fandoms are most active when there's a fairly recent tv anime adaptation (movies just don't do it like tv shows). There hasn't been one in a long time, and additionally, we've had to put up with our main characters virtually missing from the manga for about half a decade now. The twin reveal was that long ago!

So I completely understand that the fandom has become the way it is now. I consider myself crazy for still sticking around the way I do (but I have no plans of changing that) but most people aren't as weird about Kuroshitsuji as I am.

That being said, I also believe that the fandom will have a real renaissance when the show airs again. I never expected that twitter-borne renaissance to hold on anyway because it was mostly just born out of spite against antis (which is valid but not enough to give people the motivation to stick with a manga that's barely progressing over the course of years). Chrome and the others were there before the twitter renaissance and they were there after it too to some extent, but I guess lives go on, priorities and interests change and also, fandom can just be really nasty and detrimental to your mental health sometimes.

Maybe we'll see some familiar people come back when the new show airs, who knows!

I hope my answer helped!

P.S.: from the perspective of a creator myself, the disappearance of popular creators coincides with a strong decrease of engagement with authors' and artists' works. You could say it's a hen and egg kind of situation but I think the common denominator is the lack of progress in the manga and everyone's fatigue with everything. In any case, from a creator's POV it does feel kind of discouraging sometimes when you feel like your skill has increased over time but people don't interact with it as much as they used to. Like, I know it's the size of the fandom but I sometimes think, "has my art gotten that bad?" and I mean I don't draw for attention or else I'd draw Genshin or sth like that but it is a little difficult to process anyway. Sorry for the rant.

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon 2024: Day 4

Underciver Princess - Chapter 9

THE GIRLIES GET TO BOND! FINALLY

Im on a train so his is literally my thoughts as i listen to the audiobook instead of reading a physical book

I really love the visual of Ani and Ellie painting each others nails... stay tuned for something about that tomorrow? ;)

Ellie tidied the room! I really adore that Ellies messiness isnt necessarily gone, but you can try that Ellie has really tried to sort it out

AND OH MY GOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN STANDING IN JUST BRIEFS

We were too casual about this

Also you can wear a bra or tank top to dye your hair trust me i do it every month

This is the gayest thing I've ever read and I've been on ao3 since i was 12

The velvet underground is excellent, and i think you should all go listen to them

Their lil apologies and the "Mr Truffles." Im dying i love them

NON BINARY / ANDROGENOUS ELLIE MY BELOVED

Baby gender funky

Ellie is legit the reason i figured out i maybe was gender funky so shoutout to ellie wolf the most gender ever

Even though ellie did get to choose Rosewood that easily, i like that she can still kind of relate to lottie in that it wasn't the easiest thing to get there, even though they have different circumstances

I like that ellie really genuinely is in awe of ellie and shes trying to say that

But honestly yeah some of the others probably wont apprciate it as much as them both because they almost couldnt go here

"Ill gladly beat them up for you" cut to Edmunds nose...

"I'm perfectly capable of beating up my own enemies" well... not yet, but you'll get there

Honestly yeah. Dying hair is a true bonding experience. I remember my gf dying my hair for the first time and its one of the... most non romantic non sexual but intimate things

Maybe Charles boyle from b99 had a point about the shampoo...

The kitchen sounds like heaven

"Like she'd found a little home with her" GUYS IM CRYING ON A TRAIN I CANT DO THIS

Right onto the "Bad Thing"

Thats the most scary way she could've phrased that

Poor lottie she just wanted to please

Adina devine once again could punch me and I'd thank her

I love Ellie so much, shes such a little actress

Prof devine is so chaotic good i adore her

I feel like theres not enough fan art of their pajamas!??!?!? Ellie likes star wars and we dont talk about that enough

I love their lil blossoming friendship, the way they cant stay mad or cross and just burst out laughing theyre so sweet

William tufty!!! What a man

I have such a perfect image of this room in my mind, but a glass table is no where in it that feels so wrong

I dont like the term loveseat

I think that this scene and the interaction between prof and devine proves that she knows ellies identity. We never get confirmation of it, but like... someone must have her actual legal documents right? For exams and stuff?

"The fates have placed you together" UGH I NEED A SOULMATE AU RIGHT NOW

All of devines speech at the end of this bit feels like its got so much power behind it, like shes casting a spell.

She understands these girls so intensely that I wonder if she had a similar experience when she was a student. Did she go to Rosewood?

"We can achieve amazing things when we uplift one another"

Reminds me so much of "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" from YOU GUESSED IT Barbie Princess Charm School

I promise I'll have a different comparison eventually

Theyre a little sanctuary 😭😭😭

Finally, the ominous little bit about the rumour, growing like weeds in the grounds of rosewood is so poetic and so full of suspense i love it so much

It really sets up quite how dangerous the rumour could and will be

It also comes back to the whole thing about Lottie being somehow tied to the roses and garden. And the rumour and things stirring as weeds, here to disrupt her perfect life at Rosewood

And we're so back. This is the chapter that lowkey gave me faith again. The way the settings are described and the character motivations are softly shown and they feel like real moving characters.

I really appreciate this humanising Devine too, while also making her seem otherworldly at the same time. It's like a heightened version of Binahs almost omniscience.

All in all, this chapter makes me really happy and i need fan art of all of it please @ Rosewood artists

[nerves-nebula]

if i may ask, what's your writing process like for when you create a story ?

Bad and weird. Mostly I just think about it a lot, scribble down a few basic essential plot skeleton things, and then go over them and fill them in. And I do that multiple times on occasion when I’ve got more ideas. I’ve also got like 6 docs for loose stitches. One is the actual script, one’s an outline/plot skeleton, one is backstory & world building notes, one is like character speaking quirks or something- idk I’ve lost count at this point I really only refer to like three of them

Also, unless it’s like a short comic or one shot story, I don’t finish the script. If I waited to finish loose stitches script before I started it I’d never have started at all. Already, a bunch of stuff that’s supposed to go down in part 2 & 3 have been altered since I started drawing loose stitches 2 years ago. Partially because I wasn’t sure where things would go and partially because I’ve gotten a better hold on the characters & their backstories & motives since then which changes their arcs a bit. I still don’t know how loose stitches is gonna end, but I’m getting a better idea if it every day and I just write down one potential ending.

I picked up something interesting from the author of the webcomic Sakana, which is that I need to leave space in the script for me to improvise stuff so im not horribly bored. For me, a lot of stuff is vague. I make up a lot of character designs nearly on the spot, and I allow myself to change shit around so long as the main beats are hit on. It’s all good.

Also, when it comes to comics, your script is supposed to be written however you want. Any font any format as long as it’s good for you. Mine is prose-like but very informal and with interjections to remind me of stuff (character is holding x or puts y thing down, character makes a certain face, a description of a visual I don’t want to forget)

As for the writing side of things outside of comic scripting, it’s basically the same. Write a skeleton and fill it in. Main difference is that the prose are way more formal. I really don’t consider myself a writer, even though most of my art includes dialog and storytelling. Guess I don’t think I’m good enough at writing yet? Idk. It’s probably because I consider my sister The Writer in our family. Anyway hope that’s what you wanted.

[incomingalbatross]

im definitely okay and im not going to cry about minna sundberg saying she can no longer wholeheartedly recommend "a redtails dream" and "stand still stay silent". two of my favorite comics of all time

Okay so first of all, sorry for not answering this sooner! I was traveling Thanksgiving weekend and then got dropped RIGHT back into the end of the semester.

Secondly... if it helps, I think I get where you're coming from, but I also think it's an understandable move from her while also not impairing my enjoyment of the comics.

Minna Sundberg (at least last I checked) is a relatively new Christian. She's judging her life and the world by an entirely new light, and I think it makes sense and is prudent for her to say "I'm not sure what I think of these from a Christian viewpoint." Because she knows that's not something she had in mind when creating them! They are not, in their making, Christian art. Add on that she probably has less objectivity on them than anyone, both because they're so close to her and because her own thoughts in creating them are part of the product for her... Yeah, I think it's reasonable and even prudent for her to disclaim them a bit.

At the same time, though, I WAS a Catholic when I first read her art. I discerned then, as far aside remember, that there was nothing inherently immoral in there, and certainly nothing harmful to me personally. So I can respect where she's coming from and honor her motives, while also saying that (sharing her motives) I've found that her concerns aren't a problem for me as a reader.

Oh, and just gonna answer the other Sundberg ask here, since I assume that's from you! I agree her post-conversion comic is... WILDLY different. And certainly unsubtle - she was doing explicitly Christian allegorical social commentary, any ONE of which is hard enough, especially at a first attempt!!

But even if it's not on the same storytelling level as her other comics (and, again, might be apples and oranges given the different goals), it's her working out some of that new convert zeal, which is nice to see - AND being Very Loudly Christian in an environment which I don't think was super friendly to that. I can't help supporting her in that, even if it's not quite my style. And certainly I don't want to critique it.

(of course, if you're NOT Christian, I imagine it would be a much more distressing change to watch. I guess all I could say then is to wish her well and be grateful for the art she made that you enjoyed - and maybe keep trying to understand her new art, if you're not comfortable parting ways with her.)

[ottoslab]

Otto please I have to hear about these ANTAGONISTS PLEASE why are they antags? What threat do they pose to others??? (Warning I'm so sorry but this will be very long)

LIKE CHLOE my gohd it's design is absolutely the bomb I I I my mind explodes. She looks like she's working with some type of dark..matter..thing she may have invented OR MAYBE she specialises in Shield Power I figured cause the super pretty purple swirly stuff u drew in its glove is the same colour as the badge from PN 1

OR MAYBE I'm overthinking it completely BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS SHIELD POWERS cause. Space? Like she can incase herself in a shield cause you need a protective bubble like— it makes sense in my head trust. AND ITS ROBOTIC ARM IN THE LAST PIC?! HELLO??? Is that psitanium in the middle of its palm to make her more of a menace?! I MUST KNOW WHAT HER MOTIVES ARE PLEASE!!!! Chloe seems like the most threatening out of the lineup I'm guessing hrm hrm hrm...

Maloof, Mikhail, and Elka all seem like the big honcho boss men (and lady), Elka Doom being an oracle-like psychic and all that! AND MALOOF AND MIKHAIL! AAH! LOOK AT THEM THEY HAVE SO MUCH SWAGGER NFNDNXE RAAAA!!!! I feeeeeel like they would have a sort of odd "partnership" with the Psychonauts, a sort of aliance, yknow? Like how sometimes batman will team up with catwoman, smth similar? I dunno, I'd love to hear what you have in mind with all these funky little guys 👂👂pls and thank you 🙏 🤲

PIWI i am so sorry for taking so long to respond to this i tried so hard to do some funny art to go along with it bc this ask makes my brain bark and howl (positive) but im trying to save my art fight energy.

CLAPS MY HANDS TOGETHER THOUGH. These are all really good let me get my thoughts in order

Chloe and Benny are a duo! I mentioned it before in my other posts abt her, but Chloe is definitely just sort of doing its own thing, and that just happens to cross paths with the Psychonauts a lot. She’ll work with them when she can, and work against them when they try to shove her into a box with all their “rules” and stuff. Benny is her “guy in the chair” and usually stays back at the lab unless she really needs the extra hands on deck.

i really like the idea of its main power being shield!! I didnt really think about the color coordination but youre so right to be honest, and i think it would work really well for her. Aside from her shield ability, she’s not a very naturally powerful psychic. It uses psitanium to grant itself power-ups during battle, and the big robot arm is basically a super-powered gauntlet that it can harness strong psychic energy into, using it for very powerful psi-blasts and the like..

Maloof and Mikhail are similarly not very for-or-against the Psychonauts, but definitely a lot more antagonistic. But theyre pretty much the lowest threat on the list. Maloof is sort of a goofy b-plot type villain, doing “evil” for the sake of “evil”, and Mikhail is just there to make sure Maloof doesn’t blow himself up.

They’re also the “guys” that Lili knows! Like, whenever Raz and his team need some inside info or resources and Lili mentions that she “knows a guy,” Maloof and Mikhail are said guy. Collectively. Raz greatly disapproves of the fact that Lili hasn’t turned these guys into the psychonauts yet, but she thinks that theyre harmless yet useful enough to let them roam free without it backfiring that much.

Elka is. A special case. Probably one of the ones that could be considered the most objectively threatening, but her antagonistic role is much more of an extension of a greater threat to the psychonauts. She’s the “daughter” of a psychic villain, Dorian Doom, who is attempting to use the ability of precognition to make himself some sort of future lord by giving him the ability to manifest potential futures into reality as he seems fit. She’s sort of a henchman/figurehead role, interacting a lot with the Psychonauts as if she were the main brains behind the operation to shield suspicion from him.

She’s definitely given the psychonauts a lot of trouble, but I think as of recently she’s under observation after being taken down during a big fight against the psychonauts. Mayhaps she’s building a trustworthy repertoire by using her foresight to give Raz and his team little helpful hints when they go rush into missions.

She is Definitely building a very trustworthy relationship with Dogen and definitely not trying to get him to let her out of whatever observation chamber/system they have her in. It’s totally cool and normal.

[horrorartist23]

I know nobody asked and nothing happened to bring it up but I should clarify a few things.

I start alot of things and dont finish them because I dont have time and have way too many things on my mind. Too many ideas

Im simply not good enough. My art is mediocre at best with a bit of shading to hide my mistakes and make it look pretty. I have one or two good days were I can draw a somewhat good picture

Almost if not all ideas that I have are just cringy. I look back at them after posting and physically cringe or they just make no sense what so ever

Im not motivated anymore when it comes to art. I used to love drawing but ive been standing on the same spot for a while now and its annoying. I hate to admit it but its not fun anymore. Drawing is becoming more a chore to do rather then to simply draw and ,,have fun". Guess I lost my spark

I dont know how professionals do it or how simply any1 else does it but it has to be pure luck.

And im not a good writer either so fanfictions fall out of the picture. Its the same with the points mentioned above. I cant dance, or crochet or do anything else really. Now I cant even draw anymore.

I can play video games. Thats fun i guess. But yeah.

Sorry but I had to get that off my chest. Its a small rant for myself

[nerdydowntherabbithole]

Okay, I've sent a lot of asks talking about my stuff, but I need to take a moment to say thank you.

I've only recently got into making art, and up until now it was slow going. Sometimes I just wouldn't have the energy to draw, or I straight up couldn't think of anything that I wanted to draw. But then I stumbled onto "Taking Life As Is" and it energized something in me.

I've been pumping out new art of completely original creatures at a ridiculous rate, taking the time to actually research real life animals for reference, something I've rarely had the patience to do before.

I can't believe it's only been 3 days since that ask where I came up with One Thousand Silent Eyes, the first OC to ever leave my brain. In 3 days, I've filled eleven whole pages of my journal. That blows my mind.

So thank you. Thank you for the wonderful story in a fandom that is desperately short on those, but more than that, thank you for inspiring me. For the first time in years, I'm creating things for myself, instead of consuming things made by others.

Without your wonderful story and constant shared excitement for not just my ideas, but everybody's awesome ideas, I don't know how long I would have gone without that drive to create. Thank you. <3

(Sorry if this is too serious or self-important, I tend to ramble when I need to express what I'm thinking. Dont feel any pressure to answer this if you dont want to!)

HI HELLO. UH. I needed to go lay down for a min after this so I didn't just outright start bawling my ACTUAL eyes out in a /srs way. And I just can't say enough how little my expressions of gratitude will not live up to the feelings I got. I can type abt screaming and sobbing all I want but AUGH that does NOT live up to it. So all I can do is say thank you thank you THANK YOU. Like I've stated before, I started TLAI as just. A silly little fix it fic that, I am going to tell you now, I thought I would barely get over 100 kudos in like. A month or two. My writing experience is basically sequestered to fandoms that have zero members other than myself and my dear friends, making small drabbles for said friends. AND UH. YEAH. AS YOU CAN SEE IT HAS GONE A LITTLE OUT OF THAT RANGE BY NOW. It is ABSOLUTELY guys like u that keep me motivated and confident in my own work. It is beyond the highest honor for me to ever hear that I have actively inspired ANYONE, honestly. Especially to this degree. It is BEYOND wild. Especially because your stuff is so GENUINELY massively awesome. It is so cool. I would have never guessed that you haven't just been doing this forever. SO UH YEAH. MUTUAL SAP. IM TAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS AND SHAKING YOU. THANK U SO MUCH. I NEED TO GO AND CRY NOW.