#i had to do those events by myself before she joined so like. why can't my colleague do it by herself

[ivy-saurs]

i have to be awake for work in 6 hours :( but what if i just want to stay home and be silly instead huh

[appleblueberry-pie]

Honestly trauma bonding is the way to go 😌✨

Reader who adopted a child and loved them more than anything in the world, since she had no family or pets (being spiderwoman is a sacrifice, after all.).

Reader's Green Goblin killed their child brutally in front of her, leaving Reader with immense trauma and depression. (After torturing and then killing GG in the same gruesome way as he did with her child)

Reader who abandons being a Spider-person and goes back to her old job, being a professional gymnast.

Miguel who finds Reader's world, and asks who there isn't a Spider there if the canon event of the radioactive spider biting someone happened long ago.

Miguel who investigating, finds out that Reader is the spider there, however they abandoned their heroic life (mostly because of backlash from the media)

Miguel who one day goes to Reader's house to get answers, first explaining who he is and what the fuck that orange portal is 💀

Miguel understands how Reader feels and explains his backstory, and persuades (forces) Reader to join the Spider Society.

Miguel, that slowly falls in love with Reader and turns into an obsession. Maybe in the future, he can give Reader his kids so they won't have to grieve as much for their dead kids.

You were meant for him.

He shouldn't say that, but no bone or muscle in his entire body disagreed with this statement that he is claiming.

He fell in love with you before he even realized it and happily accepted the fall, knowing just from how you spoke to him, that you know how to love. You love the way that he wants to be loved. And he wants that. He wants you.

He was so goddamn in love with everything about you. He loves the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, the way you look at people, and the way you look at him.

He wants those eyes on him all of the time. So, he tries to work for it.

You looked so tired every single day. Since he found you alone in your apartment of your universe, he knew you held luggage no one else had behind them.

He wanted to at least take half of the weight off of your shoulders. He wanted to brush the midnight tears off of your face. He wanted kiss your callused hands. He wanted to have you.

He truly believes he can fix you.

"There is no fixing me. Nobody can save me."

He had never been so tuned into a conversation before. Mask off, sitting across from you in your living room, on the edge of his seat, staring into your iron eyes. You didn't want to let anyone back in again.

Hearing about your past only made him more determined.

"I can't put that suit back on again.....no. I killed enough people and killed off enough of myself. I don't benefit from that life anymore. Hell, my own city that I fought for doesn't want me anymore. Why the fuck would I even bother trying??" You try to laugh it off and killed the rest of your drink.

"The only person that could make me put that back on is the one I did all of this bullshit for."

You let the silence grow for a little to collect the words building up in your throat. But to speak it was a different battle.

"S/he was mine. S/he was all I had. Every day I had to wake up and go to sleep seeing her/his face, and it's all I needed to continue living another fucking day. And s/he's gone! I thought sparing lives would do me good, and now my babygirl/boy is gone. What the fuck am I supposed to do?" You whispered the words, as if it was forbidden to even speak them aloud.

And every single word you spoke made Miguel feel like he was living in your skin. Every question you asked, everything you said you felt is so close to experience of losing his little girl, it makes him nauseous. He only knew you for a few hours and already wanted to hold you in his arms.

"I can't....I just...can't put that thing back on. I really can't. I'm sorry." Your words slowly turned into a mutter as you fidgeted with your hands.

He doesn't know how many hopeful "yes, you can"s he whispered back to you with comforting (consensual) hugs before you had on that damned suit again and was in the middle of HQ.

His room was quiet. Peaceful, as he typed away on his technology you weren't interested in at all.

You felt so naked in the suit, but for some reason, it made you feel more secure than you'd ever felt these past few years......maybe this would be okay for now.

Miguel looked back at you, seeing you staring off into the distance and stopped typing to place his hand on your shoulder.

You looked up at him with those sad, tired eyes. Just seeing your face as clearly as it was, it continued to give him hope to be the one to support your during your healing process. You clearly needed the help. And if anyone could do it well, he was certain that it would be him.

[the-bad-batch]

Reader Masterlist

Melissa Schemmenti 

Make you Feel My love -  Set after Season 2 Episode 18. You go home to find Melissa upset and angrily sorting her closet after the events of the staff room argument. You comfort her as she confides in you with a new insecurity.

Coffee Mugs & Cronuts -  Melissa has a bad weekend, unfortunately for you, you catch her on a bad day. After breaking her coffee mug and spilling the coffee all over yourself, you argue. Melissa says things that break your heart and you spend the rest of the week avoiding her. Both of you unaware of the love you share for each other.

Finding Happiness with You -  Jacob and Janine are back at Melissa's for further cooking lessons. Neither know that you and Melissa live together, after falling in love when you join the school as the new third grade teacher.

I was meant to love you - You were seven when your soulmate tattoo appeared.

"You’re bleeding, are you alright? I’ll kill him."

You’re the only redhead I want -  Melissa overhears a conversation between you and Jacob and mistakenly believes you're in a secret relationship and unwilling to tell her. She begins to avoid you until you're forced to take action.

She’s everything I’ve been prayin for -  After a one night stand with a beautiful redhead, you rush out of her home and to your new job only to find her sat in the staff room. To your delight she seems to have enjoyed the night before just as much as you do and can't help teasing you about it.   18+ 

What We Do In The Dark - Melissa x OC

Forced to take time off work after a breakdown, Melissa finds herself taking her sisters advice and going to an sex club which her sister had mentioned, just to prove that Kristen Marie has terrible ideas. There she finds a new place to let loose and a woman she only knows by the name of Ell, who will change her life forever.   18+ 

I think this is when I set myself free - A year ago, you left your home with Melissa, leaving your engagement ring in her hand after she'd told you to leave. Now, you stand in front of her at the annual Schemmenti party, ready to finally get the closure to leave before you try to move on from her.

If only moving on from her was possible.

Bo-Katan Kryze

She will change everything series: 

A Future Uncertain - You find yourself following Din to Kalevala to check in on Bo-Katan after her home is destroyed. You're yet to take the creed and get your armour. Having been told to take time to discover yourself and see if the Creed is meant for you. You're Certain of your future until the former Princess of Mandalore stands before you.She's going to change everything.

Show Yourself -  Mandalore is being restored. Bo has rebuilt on Kalevala. You're now a Mandalorian having finally taken the creed but you can't get Bo off your mind. So you find yourself stood in front of her palace, unsure why you can't get the former Princess off your mind.

Hit me with your best shot -  Satine’s mark is simply “Duchess.

”She’d begged Bo to show her the moment it had appeared and she’d refused until her pleading got too much. Satine had smiled, big and toothy like she always did whenever she was truly happy. All she’d uttered was how appropriate.

Lady Bo-katan Kryze, people have always told me of your beauty, wish they’d warned me about how hard you hit.

One under the light of Mandalore -  You organise a party at the palace and invite the new republic cities, as well as those who you believe will benefit being aligned with Mandalore. Your wife sits upon the Throne and you find yourself playing diplomat when you run into an old friend. 

I want you Mentally and Physically -  After Bo confirms that all you are is fuck buddies, you decide to wind her up by flirting with your closest friends. What could possibly go wrong? 18+ 

Bo-Katan Kryze & The Armorer 

Forever & Ever Series

I think I could love you forever -  A nomad former Jedi, you find yourself on Mandalore after saving a Mandalorian child from Storm Troopers. There you meet the Manda'lor and her adviser plus a friend from your past you thought was lost. Convinced you would be better off on your own, your thrown into turmoil when you realise your connection the Manda'lor and her Advisor is more than just attraction.

Ghosts of our Past -  As your relationship with both Bo and The Armorer continues, your past continues to haunt you. You can't forget the night everything changed for you, when your friends and family were killed by the Empire during Order 66. Luckily for you, you have supportive partners and friends.

In My Dreams -  Although you're married to Bo, you can't help but wonder what it would be like if you both introduced Ahsoka and The Armorer into your bedroom and Bo, ever the perfect wife wants to make your dreams come true. 18+ Only

Fennec Shand

You can confide in me - The first time you see Fennec, she hasn't slept for days. Slowly, you manage to get her to confide in you and eventually, you begin to confide into you.Jedi/Book store owner reader.

Agatha Harkness 

May Angels Lead you In -  Agatha mourns the loss of her lover after her lover has lost the battle with her mental health. She receives comfort from the one person who can understand her loss. *Trigger Warning for Suicide here* 

Miscommunications and M&MS -  “Are you jealous?” You can’t help but be amused as Agatha continues to move around your room in the new and improved Avenger’s compound.

“No, I’m not!” She huffs and you lean against the sofa as you continue to watch her pick up her books and pile them on one of the many small tables scattered around the room.

“Oh, you really are jealous!” You let out a laugh, before your smile fades slightly. “Wait, why would you be jealous?”

Lin Beifong 

Stop Talking -  You are Zhu Li's little sister. You've managed to get a job as Lin Beifong's assistant and are tired of watching her work herself into the ground. It had nothing to do with the giant unrequited crush you'd got on her right?

Are you Mine? (I’m yours) -  You bring Lin her dinner but she's not in the mood to eat. *Explicit Smut* 18+ 

You don’t see me (Not how I see you) - You've been with Lin for years but you've never been her priority. So you leave.

Desperate for you -  Lin's tied up in front of you, desperate for you and you've never seen anything sexier. *Explicit Smut* 18+ 

Maria Hill

I can’t lose you -  You're injured as the Avengers battle Abomination, Maria reacts.

I’m Home (In your arms) -  Maria returns from Space after a year and you're just happy shes home.

[acciocriativity]

Hiii! So I that you're having a 400 followers celebration (congrats!!!!!) and I was just wondering if i could request an imagine with Jongho x fem!reader where they go sledding on this huge hill and the reader makes him carry her and the sleds back up, but he ends up dropping her in a snowdrift to get revenge, so she pulls him in on top of her, and can it be really sweet and fluffy?? (maybe with hot drinks and cuddling afterwards?) I'm sorry if this is really scattered, I just got really excited when I saw your winter theme!

Thank you so much and congrats again!!!

N/A: This was such a fun challenge for myself, thank you so much for the request and the support <3 I hope you can't tell I knew nothing about sledding before this ask. Love you lots <3

A DAY SLEDDING WITH JONGHO — C.J.H. (FROM THE 400 FOLLOWERS EVENT)

(Pictures are not mine, credit to the rightful owners)

Ateez Masterlist

It was his idea.

You knew Jongho as an active person, his frequency on the gym was a great indicator of that. However, there wasn’t much else he could do as an idol, it was always a high stake whenever he went out of the house for anything, really. So when he got the chance to do something different, you were glad to come along and enjoy the moment.

He ran to you out of the blue to tell you about one of the WANTEEZ episodes they were going to film on the weekend, a few special winter episodes. His excitement was clear, because he was rambling on and on about the trip.

“So Yunho-yah said they were going to let us stay the re- hey, why aren’t you paying attention?”, his big and shiny eyes suddenly glaring at you, still, there was a small smile grazing his face.

“I’m paying attention to you”, you were beyond amused. “You are just too cute like that”, you grinned as you said it.

“Oh you-”, he said and cringed hard at those words, looking down while covering his face with both hands. You could giggle as you watched him hid his blush. “Do you think you’re funny?”, he looked up at you.

You shrugged as you stopped giggling, trying to maintain a serious facade.

He took a deep breath as he sat straight again, staring at you with a soft smile on his face. “I was going to ask you to come too, but now I’m not sure anymore”, he crossed his arms, while looking away like he didn’t care, but oh he did, a lot.

“Sooo, you’re not going to show me the hugeee park you are going to?”

You opened the Pandora box all over again.

The truth was, you never went sledding before. You thought you knew what to expect, but even through layers and layers of warm clothes, from your ears to your toes, you felt the shivering cold ready to freeze your entire body. Winter was always brutal in Korea, but it just became another level as you traveled higher up the mountains.

When you arrived only a few hours after them, the park was already re-opened after filming and there were families coming little by little to fill up the place. So you sent a text to Jongho to confirm the met-up location, the bottom of the first hill or “oh, the one for children” like one of the workers said to you after giving you the right directions. Yeah, that wasn’t embarrassing at all.

You took your time to appreciate the view, not worried that he was taking a bit to answer you. All the photos did not make the place justice. It was truly bigger than you imagined and further away, you could see the highest hill of the total 3 of them. The untouched white and fluffy snow glistened trailing the recent cleaned path to the hills, restaurant, and parking lot.

You were well on your way when your phone buzzed on your padding coat.

‘The hyungs asked me to join them on the highest hill, let’s meet at the bottom there’

The cute bear emoji right after the text was a little suspicious. Jongho would rather die before sending you anything other than his dry texts, but maybe he thought he could distract you with a curve ball, so you did not mind it.

Of course, you were a little upset, because now you had to take a whole turn and walk further away than you planned to, and maybe he knew that.

Another buzz.

‘I’ll do anything you want to’.

It was too late for Jongho to say Wooyoung was the one who sent that, you already saw it.

‘Then carry me all the way up to the hill’.

It was a fast reply. ‘Deal’.

That was when you knew it was someone else, but that’s not your problem, right?

Jongho did carry you, he was a man of his and apparently everyone else’s words, but he did while complaining the entire time. Not about you though, no, he carried you like you weighted less than snowflakes, it was about that little bastard Jeong Woo-

You thought he was going to roll Wooyoung down the hill at some point, because he kept going around Jongho to provoke even further.

It was safe to say, you could never be bored with those two together and your stomach hurt after laughing so much.

So, it was finally your turn. There were enough space for two people, one for both of you and another for Wooyoung and Seonghwa, the loser on rock, paper, scissors that had to carry the sleds.

You felt that familiar nervousness when you sat. Then you felt Jongho behind you, his hands holding you tighter against him, so you let yourself relax.

Up there, right on the edge, you could see everything. You wanted to say something cliché that would make Jongho cringe for days or maybe take a picture to remember the day by, but suddenly you were moving, and your vision blurred as the scenery passed by faster and faster.

Both of you were screaming, and the wind hit you hard, it was the only two things you knew for sure. You blinked the tears away as you tried to focus on the path in front of you, it was easy to stay on the sled since it was a straight line, no trees, no big rocks, no nothing.

“Turn a bit to the left”, Jongho screamed.

“Huh?”, you screamed back, looking back at him.

“Left”, he said it as loud as he could.

That you did, only then you saw the snowdrift.

For a moment you thought you lost your balance, but you felt a push on your right shoulder, and you held tight onto his left arm.

You did not have time to scream as you hit the snow on your back and Jongho fell on top of you, his torso covering yours as the boys laughed at the scene that happened right in front of them.

“Fancy to see you here”, you said as you tried to hold back your laughter.

“아 시… (oh fuc…)”, he hid his face on your neck, or trying to hide his blush or too embarrassed by you to face you. That was always your best revenge against him, and once again, it was perfect.

Your laugh was unstoppable at that point and so was his.

You do not know how much time you actually stayed there, but the moment he moved to get up, you only made the effort to give him your hand.

The sled was too far down, so there was an only way down, and you were not walking it.

Jongho only sighed as he took you into his arms, carrying you on his back and also the sled, when you finally got there.

“This is my price always now every time you are mean to me”.

“Am I being mean to you?”, he asked, and you nodded, pouting, putting a lot of effort on your aegyo. “How about a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate? Now, am I not mean?”

“Hum, I’ll think about it after the hot chocolate”.

taglist: @h3arteyes4mingi

[incarnateirony]

Here's the thing, I was around this crazy bitch long enough I, too, like I'm certain Mark and others are in the state of, let her absolutely fuck my head up for a while falling into her shit under good faith, "everything's equal and valid", whatever the fuck.

I KNOW by now she's said some shit that doesn't add up, she can't fucking help herself, but they'll keep putting bandaids on it to repair the narrative and make excuses for why The Great God Hermes can't see SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

When I left that house I literally had to fucking recalibrate my shit because she got me all knocked off center, I basically had to re-teach myself some shit while processing out, yeah, I too let her pull me into some ritual madness to comply with her whims. She did, indeed, get me deep in enough that for a year or so there I thought she could Boop the god Pan into my head because of our working connection, and I'd act all feral and feel like someone different, but it's just a disassociative personality state, which is why I cut her off on her "practicing" and RP, and then these motherfuckers all come in and join the crazy bus voluntarily, and here we are, 3 years later, with her still riding my dick in every way imaginable.

Like i truly had to process this bitch's Toxic Crazy off of me like an alchemical fucking event. Letting her wave around a sage stick and feel like she chased out Casper wasn't hurting anyone, but at this point we are so far past one flew over the cuckoo's nest.

The great god hermes couldn't even tell her I personally wasn't in independence when she tried to shitpost to be a smartass. I'm in Blue Springs, you dumb ho. I set your dumb ass up saying independence like a year ago. Someone else was waiting for you there. He even was telling you to call the doctor, you were going to the doctor. And you know, it's who you were looking for, it's just they don't conveniently look like my face. Yeah Shea, why DID it look like Silent Hill until the day your spider died at the domestic spider equivalent of 40 years old, right when you were told don't fight it, it's coming for you, the walls can't stop us now, everything you ever wanted was right in front of you, this was where you want to be, pokemon battle initiated, he's about to be knocked out cold. [insert Izanami fog joke of refusing to look at the truth and ultimately dying as the price]

Real weird that Kansas City Metro area had the densest fog coverage in the nationwide fogout same day my camera was shitting foggy bricks and stopped when the fog hit you bitching. You know, the densest coverage, except exactly where I fucking was, for a few mile radius, with no fog. Real fuckin weird. Notice these are all like, real events, that aren't just coming from inside my head, and at best you could argue I'm interpreting the events but there's a fucking difference here, try to spot it.

Then go watch percy jackson and get hilariously mowed down by the timing of every single fucking hermes element dropping a timeless, gift wrapped deuce on your head, somewhere between Persona 3 posting you can't escape time, only for it to early ship, only for it to also dump on your head, and a P5 leak, all when I was messaging you those songs before the leaks, and now after. All dropping titanic shits on you idiots. TO THE DUMB KIDS. GET BODIED. He's outside of space and time kids, why do you think they put him in charge of the mail--OH WAIT [pops in early Persona copy] OH LOOK AT THAT OPENING SHITTING ON YOUR FACES TOO. WONDER WHO ESCAPED TIME TO MANAGE THAT ONE, HUH ATLUS??

YOU KIDS KNOW HOW TO PLAY CRAPS???? DO NOT COME. DAMNIT YOU CUMMED, AND NOW THE FICTIONAL HERMES DEMIGOD LUKE ON TV HAS TO EXPLAIN WHY YOUR SPIDER IS DEAD, BASICALLY. LOTUS LOTUS LOTUSJUICE. BEETLEFUCKINJUICE COMING ONLY THIS MOTHERFUCKIN SEPTEMBER

Call it fucking "magic". Call it a fucking "god". It is what it is, but it certainly isn't my fucking face, and you refuse to engage it properly, just play until people pay the penalty for you fucking around.

You want to learn this shit shea, you think you do, but no, you want to play in the madness, not the reason. It's the collective subconscious, not a fucking punk rock mazda driver, but congratulations, the whole planet subconsciously knows you're nuts and kind of wants you in the dirt.

Goddamn you used to recommend Thenea, and deadass her interview with Hermes has him calling people stupid for calling him for what one calls classic magic. "Am I good at it? I mean, yeah, but [crochet story about being left or right handed] But my magic isn't right. It works for ME. Hekate is a goddess of magic that mortals can actually USE. I'll never understand why they call me instead of her. I can't teach you, go learn from a righty."

Cuz I'm gonna give you a big fuckin guess what his "magic" is. And we're gonna go right back to dragging your ass to a fucking shrink and having a Come To Jung moment here.

Face the goddamn music you obsessed bitch, you built a whole temple cult to humping my face because you couldn't delineate reality from fantasy. That's why you still had the psychotic compulsive energy to invest seven months blowing furries in a server just to try to harass my business partner three goddamn years after I left your ass and tried to forget you exist, but you won't fucking let me. You're fucking angry that I, he, whatever you perceive of it, fucking left you, and doesn't want you, and no amount of ripping out your hair or roleplaying is filling that fucking void, so you get angrier, and more obsessed, and now you're just fat, crazy, and bald, and you're just gonna keep on keeping on with your octopus jibberish instead of seeing a shrink. What you are experiencing is consequences of your actions and the stark realization that after 20 years of deluding yourself, you can't narratively replace real people, and it's not coming back.

LET US GO.

[wonda-ch]

For a few days I was driving myself crazy with the idea of posting my first short scene and had almost decided against it. Then I heard posting my story would just be the cherry on top of the cake.

Well, I like cherries.

Here is my first little scene.

———

Something woolly

"What am I doing here? When you bought these animals I didn't expect that it would end with me in a stable. Although I must admit that for a stable it has already become a gem."

With a serious face, the future Countess Arendae stands between her animals and waits until the Count's gaze seeks hers.

"Choose one."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You shall choose a lamb."

As if only now noticing the animals, Daeran looks around a bit confused.

"For what?"

"For the feast."

Very slowly, realization creeps into what is just a confused look on the count's face.

"Oh no, now it dawns on me where this trip is going. I keep telling you it was just a provocative joke."

"I know that, my favorite count. After all, I hear this story every time guests are present and there's a piece of lamb on the table. So this decision shouldn't be a problem, should it? Here, hold this."

Before he can object, Daeran finds himself with a snow-white little lamb in his arms. Instinctively, his fingertips dip into the silky white wool to hold the fragile animal.

"Did we buy this walking pile of wool just so you could torture me?"

"Surely not, but it's a nice side effect" 

Tishlia's serious expression gives way to a diabolical grin. She likes it too much to challenge him. Carefully tickling ucarefully until another small part of his already fragile wall collapses.

"You're not going to give up, are you?"

"Never."

"At what point did I miss you becoming so cruel?"

"Maybe you missed it until now, or maybe it happened when you joined forces with my parents," she replies snappishly. His guilty conscience about this fact is completely unnecessary, but it couldn't hurt here right now.

"So now I have to pass a death sentence on a lamb. Just because I actually like your parents against all odds?"

"No, you will, because I know you and I know when something else resonates in your voice when you make those provocative jokes."

She pauses for a moment, gives him time to pierce her with his wonderful eyes and enjoys every second of it. The suspicion that some wonderful moments they could experience together would never get a chance because he’d continue to hide behind the mask of an anecdote has been smoldering inside her for a long time.

She has carefully planned this moment, time for the final blow.

"You get to make a choice and just walk away again. Or you can tell me you can't. But don't hide from me." This time it's her eyes that pierce him, and as expected, he doesn't withstand them for long.

Audibly sighing, Daeran turns his gaze away and his entire attention to the small animal in his arms.

"Why do you have to be such cute little soft clouds."

Slowly, Tishlia steps closer, places her hand next to his in the soft wool, and looks lovingly at her fiancé before kissing him tenderly over the tiny sheep. When their lips part, he rests his head against her forehead as he gazes dreamily at the contented little animal.

"Very well, perhaps not all of it was a joke after all. But now you want the whole story, right?"

"Later," she replies softly "with a glass of wine, on the divan, in front of the fireplace."

"Is this the reward for the soul-crushing agony I just endured? Then I'll gladly accept it and savor it completely." The cheeky grin she loves so much returns, promising her a wonderful evening.

A hint of skepticism reappears in Daeran's eyes as he realizes what consequences this confession could have for future mandatory events with boring guests.

"You won't tell anyone?"

"Of course not. I promise." The gentle completely sincere promise makes the tension melt away from Daeran and he goes back to cuddling the lamb. Tishlia watches him for a while, completely satisfied with the outcome of her little plot.

"Tisha, could we at least keep this little cloud?"

The future countess steps back, takes a deep breath and looks at the little lamb with a shrewd shepherd's eye.

"Well. There are only six lambs. We will keep all of them, for my project the flock has to grow bigger first. What’s needed for the celebration already is well organized."

Giggling softly to herself, the shepherdess slowly walks backwards towards the gate.

"You sneaky little..."

But before Daeran can set the lamb down, his tormentor has already disappeared from the stable, laughing.

———

@dmagedgoods I can't thank you enough. For your pictures that first caught my attention. Your stories that grabbed me and showed me the way to many other great works that I have already read. And  for your support from the first idea to write something myself to the first little text. Thank you💕

[giu-world]

[SPOILER]

If the Duskwood characters had spent a day at the beach

Lilly | Dan | Cleo | Jake | Hannah

- Hannah

Dear Diary,

A few things happened today. You don't mind if I tell you about it, do you? Sorry, I'm just a little sad, but thanks to Thomas, I'm better now.

You see, Cleo and I had been looking for an idea to spend a day together for some time now that those tragic events are over. Unfortunately, both Cleo and I just couldn't find the PERFECT situation for all of us.

Fortunately, MC came to our rescue and offered to spend a day on the beach. I was elated with the idea and with Cleo, we decided on the nearest beach and how to reach it.

I convinced Cleo to add Jake to the car with me and Thomas and to put MC with Richy and Jessy. That way, I thought I had enough time to talk to Jake.

And so, this morning, before leaving for the beach, I made my way to Jake's motel by myself. He was surprised to see me alone without Thomas and I told him he would join us later.

At that moment, it was just me and him. I absolutely had to tell him about my feelings, but I was also afraid to do it. I mean, how likely is it that the guy you had a crush on in the past is actually your big brother?

I had no idea how to behave or how to start my speech, so I took the time to talk about how we had met. At that moment, he interrupted me and apologized for not telling me anything about his identity. I felt a pain in my heart and a wave of sadness invaded me. I told him how incredible that situation was and that at that time, I began to have feelings toward him.

He replies that he was aware of it and that is why he cut off all contact with me. I wanted to get back in the car, run away, cry desperately, and forget about the day at sea we had organized. Instead, I asked for MC. I asked what was there between them and he replied that he was in love with her and she loved him. At that point, I felt myself sinking into an infinite desolation. I opened my mouth to answer, but then my phone rang. It was Thomas. I fought back the tears and answered the phone.

Thomas asked me where I was, I replied that I had gone to get Jake and he then said that would be waiting for us in front of the flower shop. I hung up and turned to Jake, telling him what Thomas has told me. We got back into the car and went back to the square.

During the trip, Thomas desperately tried to strike up a conversation, but both Jake and I had locked ourselves behind a wall of silence. Eventually, Thomas gave up and left us alone in our thoughts.

When we arrived at the parking lot on the beach, I didn't have time to get out of the car when I saw MC hugging Jake. Heaven, what a nuisance that girl! I let out a bored sigh and when Jake tried to escape, we grabbed him by the arms and dragged him to the beach.

For heaven's sake, I don't dislike MC! I like her very much and I feel good about her company, I just can't stand her expressions of affection for Jake. Not when I would have liked to have been her instead.

My towel was between Thomas' and Cleo's. A little farther on were both MC and Jake hugging each other. I looked at them. If before I was annoyed, now I slowly began to get used to it. Jake had made it clear: he was in love with her. She loved him and it was obvious.

They started chasing each other on the beach and I followed them with my eyes. Then, I realized that Cleo was talking to me, but I was too distracted to hear her. She seemed to notice and she repeated the question. I replied that no, MC hadn't told me anything about a surprise.

At that moment, we heard Lilly's altered voice and when I turned around I saw my sister covered in sand throwing something at MC. Jake took the opportunity to hug her from behind her. I went back to observe the sea, until at a certain point I decided to join Lilly and Dan in the water.

Thomas, Jessy, and Richy followed me and we all started splashing together. During that time I completely forgot about Jake and MC's existence and my mood improved too. But when Lilly felt cold, we decided to go ashore too.

Time to sit on the towel and I heard a familiar voice nearby. Phil had arrived too. From Jake's annoyed expression, I deduced that Phil had also flirted with MC. The boy looked up at Cleo and me and smiled at me with a wink. I answered the greeting with a nod of my head.

I was sorry to see Jake like that. I found myself, unconsciously, supporting the Jake-MC couple. "Yeah," I thought "After all they are not bad as a couple."

At that point, Alan also arrived. It was since the events of the mine that I hadn't seen him and seeing him now gave me a strange feeling.

He had come to accompany Phil. I still found it surprising that Phil had been arrested. Sure, he had a bad temper when provoked and he certainly wasn't a loving brother, but from here to get arrested for something about my kidnapping was too much.

Fortunately, it was just over a week away from its official release. Jessy at least would be happy.

Jake, considering his expression and the way he hugged MC, a little less.

At that moment, Richy got up from his towel and got dressed. He said he had an appointment with a customer. I looked at Cleo perplexed. For a moment, I thought that after my kidnapping, things had changed a lot, but judging by Cleo's expression, I understand that, most likely, was just an excuse.

I heard something about Alfie and remembered that Richy often fixed the child's toy car when it broke down. He was a good guy. I'm still sorry I put it in the middle of 10-year-ago events.

I leaned on Thomas' shoulder and he hugged me. Thomas was also a good boy, sweet and devoted. He wasn't a genius, but he had a good heart and he loved me. He didn't deserve me. Instead of being happy to be with him, I thought of Jake (who is my brother!) And I was jealous of MC...how stupid!

Suddenly we heard Jessy's voice. She was deeply troubled. She said that she had seen something behind us, like a shadow.

A shiver of fear ran down my spine as if I were reliving something I had already seen. Thomas must have caught my thoughts because he got up and ran in that direction with Alan.

When Jake and Richy came out of the mine, they told me that the kidnapper was trapped in the burning mine and that they had managed to get out just before it collapsed. He, whoever he was, was now dead under a pile of burning rubble. So why did my heart start beating fast? And why did I get goosebumps? Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flicker like something dark moving hidden among the silhouettes of cars. I looked closer but saw no one. I sighed. It must have been my imagination.

At that point, Thomas and Alan went back and said they had found nothing. Jake said maybe it was Jessy's imagination and MC remembered that Jessy was passionate about horror stories. I agreed. I didn't want to think about it, not anymore.

Thomas was doing a great job helping me fight depression and I was able to limit the medicines without problems. I didn't have to give up. Not now.

Web we had to go back to our cars, I was a little afraid. I was afraid that that shadow might appear at any moment. Also, I had to finish the talk with Jake earlier. So, I called him aside, and, while the others walked toward the parking lot, the two of us were still alone on the beach.

I apologized for what I had told him before leaving and told him that, after all, being brothers was not so bad. At least, it was still a bond that united us. Also, I admitted that I was happy to see Jake with MC. She was the only one who deserved to be by his side...besides me.

So, like good brothers, we went back to our cars. Since Richy had left and we had one less car, we decided to take MC in the car with us and Jessy in the car with Cleo. This, later that Cleo got mad at Dan and Jake punched Phil for nearly kissing MC.

Really, I didn't remember them being so loud!

[rogeriswater]

Don’t Leave Me Now

iii

This work contains fictionalized versions of real events and people. Most details won’t be accurate to real life.

tags for this chapter: p.o.v changes, roger and maggie have their first little date but it’s not actually a date, maggie lies to her husband

~m.r~

My eyes had barely opened when I heard the phone ringing. Who would be calling this early in the morning? And on a Sunday? I mean, Roger said he was going to call me— wait, Roger!

I grabbed my robe and covered my naked body with it before running out of the bedroom to go answer the phone. I plopped myself down on the couch and picked it up. Putting it up to my ear, I spoke into the phone. "Hello?"

"Good morning, sunshine" Roger greeted me.

"And morning to you" I said. I leaned back and twirled the cord between my fingers. "Did you have sweet dreams?"

"You bet I did" I could practically hear Roger's smile through the phone. For a moment, there was silence on both of our ends. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you"

"You only met me last night, Roger"

"I know, but it's true. I was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, just thinking about you"

"Oh, Rog..." He can't be saying things like that to me. He can't be making me feel things. We just met. I'm married, but he didn't know that. I had forgone my ring last night but put it back on soon after getting home.

"Are you free this afternoon? I need to see you again"

I thought for a moment. Was I free today? It's not like Billy and I made plans together. Besides, I had enjoyed Roger's company last night. I would love to see him again. "There's this café in town I'm always going to. It's a cozy little place"

"Sounds perfect. Does two o'clock work?"

"Two is perfect" I made sure to tell him the name of the café. "I'll see you later then" I hung up the phone just as Billy came into view.

"Who was on the phone, hon?" He asked. Okay, so Billy wasn't the jealous type. He knew that my heart belonged to him. But, I didn't feel quite comfortable telling him about Roger yet.

"Just a new friend I made last night" It wasn't a complete lie. "We're meeting at my favourite café later today"

"Oh" Billy's face fell. "I was hoping you and I could spend this afternoon together"

"We've got plenty of Sunday afternoons to spend together" I assured him. I was not gonna pass up this afternoon with Roger. And of course, I meant that in a completely friendly way. Not like a date kind of way.

To be completely honest, I didn't really have any guy friends. I mean there's Billy's group of friends he'll have his poker nights with, but those are his friends. I could see myself and Roger being close friends. Speaking of friends. "How long has it been since you've had a guys day with your friends?"

"It has been awhile" Billy rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you sure?"

I smiled and gave him a short but sweet kiss. "Yes, you and your friends have fun"

~r.w~

I cannot tell you how happy I was when Maggie agreed to see me. There was something important I needed to ask her today. A lovely voice like hers cannot go to waste. That's why today I'm going to ask her if she'd like to join the band. Mind you, it was an impulsive decision, and I probably should've discussed it with the chaps.

But it is my band and I can make whatever decision I want. And what I want is for Maggie to join. If she did, that'd be more time spent with her. Time working closely together.

I could picture it now.

Just us.

Alone in the studio.

I know what you're thinking. That I'm just making this impulsive decision to start some sort of romantic relationship with her. It's not like that all. I really do think that her voice really is what we needed.

I was supposed to be meeting with the chaps tonight anyway. I can discuss it with them then. Maybe Maggie will come along. She'd be able to meet them and they'll see that she'd be perfect as a lead vocalist.

~m.r~

Two o'clock had approached. I had gotten here a little early to make sure my favourite spot was available. It was a nice spot in the corner by the window. It offered some privacy.

I gazed out the window keeping an eye out for Roger. It was easy to spot him. He was too tall not to. I waved at him through the window. When he saw me waving, he waved back and gave me that smile.

He entered the café. I stood up from the table as he walked towards me. We met in a hug. Wow, he smelled really good. And there was something that just felt right about being in his arms like this. And I liked the height difference between us too.

Whoa, whoa. What am I saying?

"I'm so glad to see you sunshine!" Roger said through his smile. I felt him kiss the top of my head. "And you look lovely today"

I blushed. "Thanks. So do you" We pulled out of the hug. "Shall we take a seat?" And that's what we did. We say directly across from each other. "Have you ever been here before?"

"Honestly, can't say I have" Roger confessed. "It's a shame I haven't. It's a quaint and lovely place"

"Well I recommend the carrot cake" I suggested. A waitress came over and asked us what we'd like. We both agreed on the same thing. A cup of tea and a slice of carrot cake. "So, Rog, what's this important thing you want to discuss?"

"What, no pumpkin?" He asked, referring to the nickname I called him by last night.

"I didn't think you actually like that nickname. I just called you that because you called me sunshine"

"Well, I do like it. You don't mind me calling you sunshine, do you?"

"Not at all" It made me feel special. No ones ever given me my own special nickname. Not even Billy. I mean he calls me 'honey' and 'my lovely' but those are things every husband calls their wives by.

~r.w~

She really did look lovely today. She wore a brightly patterned dress and a pair of boots to match. Her hair was secured in place by a head band. When our drinks came, I couldn't help but watch as she took a sip from the cup. I admired the way her delicate fingers wrapped around the fragile ceramic.

Wait, was that a ring on her finger? Was she married? But, she wasn't wearing a ring last night. Maybe it was just a ring

"Rog?" Maggie knocked me out of my thoughts. "You alright?"

"Yeah" I nodded. "Remember when I asked if you'd ever thought of joining a band last night?"

"I remember"

"Would you consider joining my band?"

Maggie's eyes went wide at my question. "Join your band? Doing what exactly? The only instrument I've ever played is the triangle and that's only because I was forced to join my school orchestra"

I pictured Maggie in my head, standing in the very back row, tapping on a triangle with a very irritated look on her face. I found the image amusing. I couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"What's so funny?" She asked, tilting her head as she looked at me with curiosity in her eyes.

"I'm just picturing you playing the triangle with an attitude" I said.

"Well, I wanted something where I didn't have to put too much effort into it" Maggie explained. "Now, had there been the option of a guitar or drums, maybe then I would have been a bit more enthusiastic"

"I could teach you to play the guitar if you wanted"

Maggie raised her eyebrow. "I thought you played the bass"

"You can know how to play more than one instrument, you know"

Maggie smiled. "You've got me there" She looked down at her cup and tapped her finger against it. "You haven't answered my question yet. What would I be doing in your band?"

"You'd be lead singer of course" I answered. I leaned back against my chair watching her face closely. I noticed how she furrowed her brows together and chewed on her plump bottom lip. Contemplation was a good look on her.

"Have you discussed this with your other band mates?" She asked.

"No" I plainly told her.

"Shouldn't you?"

"We're going to"

"We?"

"I'm meeting with them tonight and I was hoping you'd come with me. You can meet your new band mates"

"I haven't exactly said yes yet, now have I, Waters?" She playfully sassed me.

I smirked at her. "I suppose you haven't, Robinson"

I could see it in her eyes. She wanted to. And I wanted her to as well. Sure, she's said she was never interested in a music career but she just needs the right opportunity. And this is. She's perfect for the band.

And she's perfect for me....

"Alright, Roger. I'll come with you to meet the band. I'll see if I like them, and if they like me. Only until then will I make my decision" Maggie decided. "I don't think I've asked, but what is the name of the band?"

"Pink Floyd"

[notthatquietgirl]

? A_______ ?

This year, I worked through CNY. Many of my colleagues were surprised to see me working and displayed verbal dissatisfaction with the management for not allocating me PH on those days. I pretended to join them in their dissatisfaction. The fact was that I did not even submit any requests not to work on those days.

This CNY is the first that I did not participate in any house visitation or lohei. I was sleeping for night shift when my close family came to my house on CNY day 1 and they put in effort not to wake me up.

I was so happy that I didn't participate in any of the festivities. It's not like I particularly dislike CNY. I just generally dislike places that are noisy or have many people. I never understood the idea of having to buy new clothes and dress up to meet and talk to people that you normally see less than once a year. I don't see why we have to buy special zodiac themed decorations to paste on walls and doors every year. Even if the phases on the decorations mean well, does that mean people only wish for these things in the beginning of the year and not the rest of the year? By the way... I'm not trying to be hateful here, but I really do not believe that all the animals came together and took part in a competition i the past. Try to prove this to me.

I told my mother about how happy I was that I did not participate in the CNY festivities this year. She was not surprised and understood my point of view given that I had expressed similar thoughts previously. Although, last year, she was upset with me when I suggested that the animal competition was a scam. My mother asked me if I had called or messaged my grandparents to wish them a happy CNY and say my blessings. I told her I did not. In fact, this was not a thing that even occurred to me that I needed to do. This is what the A_______ community means by "it feels like I am in a play where everyone else has the script but me". People think that if you grow up in a culture, you will naturally know what to do and understand the beliefs held by your community and that these are not things that need to be taught. This is just tradition. But if anyone believes me, I am not trying to be stubborn/rebellious/stand out. For real, I do not see the purpose of majority of religions or festivals. If we already meet up with the people we are actually close to on a regular basis, why do we need a special day as a reason to see them again? Why don't we just meet and treat the people we are actually close to well without any need for special reasons or events but just purely because we want to out of the goodness of our hearts? I can't say it any better than what I saw somewhere on the internet that "tradition is just peer pressure from dead people".

In the first half of 2023, I went to ___ to get an assessment done. I was told that I do have some symptoms of A_____ but "it does not quite present like that" and the doctor fell short of diagnosing me. I knew from reading the thoughts of many on the internet that getting a diagnosis would not be easy especially when the diagnosing criteria was made based on the study of white, male, children patients. I thought that things would be different in Singapore. When I went for the appointment, I totally felt that the healthcare workers there did not believe me at all. They felt that I was exaggerating and that I had studied a lot about the condition before going to see them. As a healthcare worker myself, I cannot describe my disappointment. They gave me an open date appointment and told me that I could go back to see them if I still have issues. Sure, my sensitivity issues and difficulties with social interactions have not changed. I mean how could they change... But I probably would not ever choose to go back to them because they didn't even take me seriously. Frankly, I see similar traits in my two maternal uncles, leading me to believe that this is something in my genes as well.

[greydiminishing]

2/3/24

yesterday was my birthday. I had a good day.

My first class yesterday was fun, we came up with project ideas as a class, then someone would pick one of the ideas, and those who liked it could come together and form a group. I'm excited about my project topic (developing a daily outfit picker), AND everybody I secretly hoped to be in a group with JOINED MY GROUP!! I'm so lucky!

Between this and my next class, I ate a granola bar. I got these Sunbelt banana granola bars and they're probably the best granola bars I've ever had. They taste like dessert, it made me happy lol. Now I have to try all the flavors.

I worked a bit on the project for my next class, its writing python methods and unit tests for a postgres database. I found that it seemed to be pretty straightforward and kinda fun. As long as I don't leave it to the last minute like last time :p. This next class was just lecture, so not too bad, but then we ended class 20 minutes early?? lucky again!!

After this I have 4 hours till my next class. I got a bagel and a brownie from a cafe on campus. I asked for a plain bagel with cream cheese. I kinda expected to get it how you get bagels in NJ, loaded with cream cheese, sandwiched together and wrapped in foil. They handed me a parchment bag with a bagel and 2 of those mini Philadelphia cream cheese cups. Honestly I was a little disappointed, I mean, as disappointed as you can be over just a bagel lmao. But you mean I gotta make it myself?!? I took it home and toasted it, and had half with cream cheese and half with butter. Tell me why this was one of the best bagels I've ever had?? The outside was crispy and shattering, the inside was still soft and chewy, it was so good omg.

A few days ago my mom sent me a package with my meds, and some "other stuff" that she wanted me to call before I opened. The "other stuff" was birthday presents!! In the box was a lovely card, a pack of mini red velvet muffins, some of my favorite cashews and macadamia nuts, a bag of these lattice cut chips I really like, a packet of fajita seasoning I really like lol, a cute purple pepper spray that goes on your keychain, and a really nice mug. So much stuff, I really wasn't expecting it haha! I had a quick call with my mom before I had to get to my next class.

Physics can be pretty boring and annoying sometimes. Idk if it was just because it was my birthday so everything was great, but class wasn't that bad. Pretty average. It is a two hour class though :/

After class I went to check out a "no-sew blankets and hot chocolate" campus event thing. When I went in they said they were out of blanket materials, and the line for the hot chocolate was crazy long (especially when I have hot chocolate at home lol), but then they gave me a $5 dunkin gift card?? huh?? That's pretty cool lol.

Then I stopped by Salsaritas for dinner, I got a burrito and chips and queso. This was a birthday treat for myself cause one small burrito and a bag of chips with queso was $15. That's crazy to me. I guess that's probably normal, but idk I can't justify that cost, so its a once in a while thing. It was good tho.

I stayed in for the night, watched Bocchi the rock, ate my burrito, had a red velvet cupcake. It was a good time.

I told my roommates it was my birthday and they asked if I had any plans. It's always so embarrassing to be like "ahh no, no plans I'm too tired and too busy with homework and stuff haha". But screw that! I DID have plans, and those plans were to enjoy my peaceful solitude in my cozy dark room (I didn't say that though lol).

It's very easy to be sad and sorry for myself because I didn't have any "plans" or do anything special. But I stayed in and watched anime, which is exactly what my INTP self likes to do on a friday night after a socially exhausting week of classes.

I had a good day and a good birthday :)

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 10

*Warning: Adult Content*  

When I get home, I breathe out a huge sigh of relief as I go up to my room. I was so scared of getting punished for being caught ditching but Daemon made no move to tell Lucien about it.

It's strange to think that if Alpha Ferix had caught me doing something like that he would've been beaten black and blue but here I face no repercussions.

It makes me feel like a cheat. I know I've been bad and I'm guilty about it but the fear overpowers the guilt because I can't bring myself to fess up to Lucien.

I'm about to get in the shower when I hear the loud ring of my phone in my pocket. The noise hurts my ears but I don't know how to turn it down. It especially flusters me when it goes off in class.

Having never had a phone until now, I still haven't gotten the hang of it. I look on the screen and see Lylah's name surrounded by a bazillion hearts.

She was the one who input her contact info into my phone. I pick the call up.

"Hello?"

"Ash! We're so sorry for leaving you!" she exclaims apologetically and I hear Wren in the background saying sorry too.

"But Daemon was giving us total 'get the fuck out of here' vibes."

I let out a small huff of amusement.

"It's okay. He didn't get me in trouble or anything,"

"Really? But you said he hated you?"

"Well..." I think for a moment, thinking back to the events at the docks. "He did seem frustrated with me. Definitely wasn't happy."

"Ooh? What did he say?" Lylah asks.

I go over how Daemon scolded me because that area was dangerous and that I had to promise to not do 'dumb shit' anymore. Before I can go on I'm cut off by a high squeal into the phone by both omegas on the other side.

I pull the phone away from my ear, startled as I frown at the device that apparently wants me to go deaf.

"Ash, that means he cares about you."

I nearly laugh at that because that's literally the last thing I was expecting. Daemon? Caring about me? That can't be farther from the truth.

"No, just no, guys. He's just, like, obligated to look after me because of Alpha Lucien."

"Urghhhh," Lylah groans into the phone. "Ash sweetie I love you but for fucks sake. You don't know that. Why are you so quick to shut down the idea that someone could care for you?"

I start to argue back but the words dry up on my tongue. How can I reply to that? No one has cared for me since I was ten years old.

And now I'm supposed to believe people do care now? My brain just can't accept that. It isn't natural to me.

"I don't know." I finally reply. "But Daemon, I'm sure he doesn't. He's hated me from the start."

I hear Lylah's sigh from across the line.

"Okay, instead of thinking about his opinion of you, what do you think of him?"

"Daemon? He's uh... scary, I'd say. Intimidating. And he's got all those tattoos, too..."

"And? I think you're forgetting one major detail hun, he's hot as fuck," Wren's voice exclaims in the background.

"Don't tell me you don't think of running your hands over those tatts, Ash," Lylah adds on.

The forbidden thought flashes through my mind before I can stop it, of running my hands over the muscled expanse of the alpha's arms, tracing the designs of his inked skin with my fingertips.

My stomach drops as I realize what I'm imagining and I bury my flaming face in a pillow.

"I take your silence as you telling me you do."

I can just hear the smirk in her voice.

"What? No." I deny, "I've never thought of something like that. At least not until you said it."

"Forgive her, Ash. She has a habit of corrupting pure minds," Wren says as Lylah laughs maniacally.

"God you guys are so horny, I swear," I turn on my side, smiling into the phone.

"Join the club babe."

I'm dead tired the next day at school. What was supposed to be a quick call before my shower turned into a five-hour-long conversation that had Lucien knocking on my door at two am and telling me I needed to get to sleep.

So then I had to wake up extra early to take my shower in the morning and basically I barely got any sleep.

I'm a zombie half the day and I'm dreading fourth period because that means suffering through an hour of sitting next to Trent.

I try to cheer myself up on the way to class by eating a bag of m-and-m's from the school vending machine but any joy that provides is wiped clean away as I walk into biology.

"Alright, class. Head to your desks and take out a pencil. That's all you'll be needing for today."

I'm confused by what she means until I look at the daily agenda on the whiteboard, which has on it 'Chapter 1 Test' printed in big, bold letters.

Shoot.

"I hope the study guide I passed out at the end of class yesterday sufficiently prepared you for the test," Mrs. Padilla says cheerily, clapping her hands together.

I walk to my desk, feeling faint as dread overtakes me. I had no idea there was going to be a test today. I'd been careless yesterday and left class before I'd gotten the study guide and called my friends all night instead of studying.

'Why are you like this?' I chastise myself internally.

I'm going to bomb this test. The next day, Friday, I get my results back. I know it can't be good news when Mrs. Padilla comes over and places my test paper face down on my desk, giving me a disappointed look.

Way to be obvious about it lady. I did, in fact, bomb it. And Trent seems to love that I did. He doesn't miss his chance to  snatch my paper into his hands and look at my score.

He laughs when he sees it, announcing not very discreetly that I failed the test. He spends the rest of the class tormenting me about it and making me miserable.

I can't enjoy the rest of my day, even though it's Friday. The red F mark on my paper is imprinted in my mind and hinders my enjoyment of anything.

I stuff the test in the bottom of my bag, as if hiding it will erase the bad score. Guilt overwhelms me at the sight of Lucien waving at me from his car, there to pick me up after school.

I trudge to the car, using the excuse of tiredness for why I'm so quiet. He can't tell him. I'm too scared. Sure, Lucien is nice now. But if I anger him enough?

He could flip the switch, just like Alpha Ferix had after my mother died and left him, my stepfather, to look after me. Lucien is gracious enough to do all this for me and all I've done in return is ditch class and fail a test.

Maybe it's not a big deal for carefree people like Lylah or Wren but it's different for me. I haven't been good like I should be, like I promised myself I would be when I got the lucky chance to start fresh here and not screw it up.

But every time I try to confess that I've been bad it's like my throat won't open to get the words out. Because my body remembers the pain of punishment and won't let me.

I go to sleep that night feeling horrible, guilt swirling and making my stomach queasy. Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.

[love-advice-on-call]

Hi Brian! My name is Olivia and I have a huge crush on this guy, but he is very quiet, always sits alone in class, hangs around by himself on breaks and is the first out the door when the bell rings. People say he's obsessed about soccer, always talking about soccer. And I've noticed he really likes anime. I enjoy soccer and anime, but not enough to keep a conversation about it with him. And I'm extremely shy and insecure, and have close to no self-esteem. I've messaged him a couple times but it's always about exams and such. He's fit and I'm fat and I think I'm at least ten years older than him (I'm 33 and he's around 22). I have never been with anyone and it makes me feel pathetic. I don't think anyone has ever liked me. I just think I'm going to make a fool out of myself and then I could never go back to class. I guess I'm asking for advice on how to approach him, make him notice me. Thank you in advance!

Hi Olivia! Cool, I literally just decided to put my name in the About recently so it's nice to see that you read it.

You enjoy soccer and anime, but it's that you don't KNOW if you can hold a conversation with him about it. It's not that you can't. Sometimes people love things and that is what can make those topics the best to talk about. Because he likes soccer and anime, you can always explore what it is he really enjoys about it. What his favorite team/player is, why, maybe what he likes about anime, how did he get into doing soccer, etc. Possibilities are endless and people always enjoy talking about their favorite topics. Of course this can be difficult if you are a bit shy.

Look, if you're afraid of making a fool of yourself, I think that's okay. Everyone is, and they especially are afraid when it comes down to talking to someone they are interested in dating. I think if you are afraid of getting out there, then the best thing you can do is practice talking to people for starters.

If you are afraid of what talking to this guy could do for your class, then maybe you can try doing something a bit softer first and work up to eventually talking to him. A very low stakes start is online dating so maybe you can try making a profile. Seeing if you can meet some people there first just as practice before talking to him.

Fair warning, event he most attractive people dread online dating and what it does to your self-esteem, but if you want a modern way to get your feet wet on dating and are a bit overwhelmed to try meeting people in person, then this is a great place to start. You can refer to this post on how to make a dating profile:

If online dating isn't your thing, then your alternative is to find people in person. Which is actually easier than people think. Now a days, you can meet people at any common interest group. Maybe find a hobby you like and find other people who do it. Maybe go to trivia nights alone and see if you can join a random team and meet anyone there. Folks are really into this kind of stuff now a days and they'll be friendlier than you think. It can be daunting at first though, but you will get the hang of it.

A last bit of advice. A person is only as attractive as their personality. Lizzo for example goes against conventional beauty standards but is highly regarded as a goddess because she simply tells people she is hot and walks the walk. So there is nothing more attractive then someone being confident with their body. She simply did that.

April 24, 2023

[satubby]

Daddy's girl

"Kill them, they deserve to pay for taking her from you" Red, blood and corpses.

You died and I was not a good father, I promised to protect you and I failed.

I don't know how long I was there, lost in my memories, while my body moved by itself. I only felt rage and loneliness.

***

"Look what I brought you."

"A stuffed animal! Thank you ota-chan, I love you"

"All for you, my cute mochi"

"Hehe!"

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, my princess."

***

How was I supposed to know that if I let you go, you'd disappear. You didn't even stay home anymore, you were always going with the freshmen on missions or shopping.

I wanted your happiness, but that cost me your life, you have left me my little mochi.

I shouldn't have been so permissive, if I was given a second chance, no matter if I hurt you, I would protect you.

I can't forgive myself for letting you die, I wish I could take back those last moments.

***

"Ota-san, look toward the camera."

"Oh!!, my princess wants a picture of me … I feel so flattered!."

"HAHAHA!!! I'll be your photograph on this day, hey, megumi, join the photo, don't be bitter!"

"I don't want to, plus it's childish and the flash bothers me. I don't know what they take pictures for, they just fill up space."

"You're mean! ota-san, megumi offended me!"

"Forget about him, let's take lots of pictures and then print them out"

"Yay!"

***

I still have those pictures, I remember your frustrated face, you always tried to take pictures of megumi and all of them came out blurry, except one where they kissed each other on the cheek.

I must admit, I felt angry and jealous, but I was happy because you enjoyed a childhood that I could not.

Not only that, but I tried to give you everything you wanted, but you didn't want anything of mine anymore, you preferred your friends and the girls to spend time with.

I'm sorry, even though I knew that girls your age would grow up and move away from their fathers, I kept forcing you to stay.

The moment you started growing up, I felt my heart beating faster, because of you. I tried to accept that you are already an adult, and yet, I wanted you to stay little, I didn't know how to cope with it.

***

"Mochi!!! I want attention too!"

"satoru, I'm too old for that nickname. Besides, we see each other every day."

"But my baby girl, you're always with megumi or yuji, so why don't you want to be with your ota-chan?"

"O-oto-san. i'm just having fun. I appreciate that you want to be with me, but you always want to treat me like a child, which I'm not. For God's sake, I'm 16, I'm already a teenager."

"Exactly! You're still underage and you're too weak compared to me."

"Well, we are all weak before the great Gojo satoru. HAHAHAHA!"

"Then if you're not going to stay for good …. I'll make it so you can't walk! Tickle, tickle"

"N-no, anything but that, hahaha …. S-stop it, it's okay… I-I'll stay, just s-stop with this."

"Yay! Let's go buy candy!"

"Seriously oto-san, too much candy hurts!"

"I told you to call me ota-chan, I don't like her to be formal with me."

"Ok, ok, ok, ok, let's go, mister-boy-adult"

"Why do you keep calling me mister-boy-adult? I'm already 28."

"Because you act like one."

***

What else I do to heal this emptiness? I came out of that prison, but I entered a nightmare, seeing your inert and bruised body.

They didn't want to tell me, they were afraid of me. They were afraid of how I would react to your death, they were right. I have gone mad, even though I was already mad before that.

***

"This isn't real, she's not dead."

It's been a few days since then, and my sanity has become questionable. 

I keep thinking that you are alive and that this is just a dream, a horrible one that I want to wake up from. I would like to see your smile and hug you, but I still can't accept that you are gone.

Likewise, I heard about those events from some students, I wanted to kill them all. Why did they have to kill you, why did they take you from me?

I had accepted that you wouldn't return, but I still hoped you'd be there, even if it meant a world without you.

***

"Gojo-sensei, are you all right? He has been in (Y/N)'s room for days"

"No, yuji. They took away what I wanted the most. I'm supposed to be OK? I don't know what's real anymore, I just want to wake up from this nightmare."

Yuji, my student possessed by sukuna. I killed him too, I blame you all, you were my world and you're gone.

"Why are you still here, why am I still watching you die?". Those dreams of your corpse haunt me.

But it's okay now, you can rest, after it's all over. The end of a sad story, because no one's really gone, because it's just my delusions.

Delusions of a lonely father who carries the guilt of his baby, which he never accepted had grown up. Didn't you get too big, in such a short time?

I have to take care of my daughter, I just hope she will be able to forgive me in the end.

My name is gojo Satoru, right now I am just an ordinary man, but a father knows nothing but suffering.

This is not what I wanted to be, this is not what I imagined for my daughter, but I can't help it.

I'm sorry, my princess.

I know you will hate me. Furthermore, I am afraid of what you will say or do if you see me again.

But, my dear child, please understand that I have done everything I could. And the end of this is just a small part of my past and present, which must be left behind, because it is better this way.

I know that you love me and I know how much it hurts, because I would be with you in every moment, as I was always, I wanted to protect you, but I failed.

I know you will be mad at me, but it is the best solution.

Please forgive me, you are my whole world. I don't deserve you.

Sorry, sorry, sorry my baby!!

This is the end of this story, I promise!

***

"It's time to go, my princess. Time for school."

"Alright, dad, I'll be ready in a few minutes.

"Good, we're almost late for class."

***

I just couldn't let go of those memories, of your adorable little face, with the chubby cheeks and beautiful eyes.

I know I wasn't the most reliable father, but you didn't need a perfect father to raise a wonderful girl, you only needed me.

***

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I'm sorry my mochi.

I know you don't want to hear these words, but I have no choice.

You were the most important thing in my life, I will never forget you. If I find you in another life, I promise not to let you go, even if you cry, I won't care anymore, my mind is broken as well as my sanity.

I just can't believe that I lost you.

I don't know what to do with myself.

But I'll always love you, my little mochi.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, my little one.

I waited for you to come back, but you didn't.

I was waiting for you, but you weren't there, because you died.

I know you would be disgusted by me, but I don't care anymore.

I was so careless, I should have protected you better.

I didn't want to lose you, but I was too stupid.

***

"Stop blaming yourself ota-chan, I never wanted to tell you, but I can't rest seeing you like this. I love you daddy, I love you as much as you love me, forgive yourself, because I already did."

Is this for real? I heard your voice, oh my dear mochi, you have given me back my hope, but I am no longer that childish man you knew. I am a mess inside, I don't know who I am anymore.

I'm not the same, I am not the same as before, I don't know what I am.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

I know that I am not worthy of someone like you, I know that you would rather be with someone more suitable to your heart, but I can't help myself, I just can't.

I loved you, I still love you.

Not only that, but I still care about you and want to protect you, even if you don't want it.

Goodbye, my little baby, your ota-chan will always wait for you.

Your memories will always live in my heart, until the day I die.

***

For those who did not understand, this is a Yandere Gojo x daughter! Reader scenario. Here, we see how he loses his sanity little by little, until the death of the reader himself.

If you like it, I will make a second part.

[weaselbrownie]

we’re okay | d.m

draco malfoy x fem!reader

summary : draco and his girlfriend got in a fight but she stayed patient with him.

warning : swearing, angst, accusations?, fluff towards the end, talk about starting a family

a/n : flashbacks in italic

word count : 1.8k

01.30 am

It was late and you had to wake up early tomorrow for a potions exam but your mind was elsewhere. Tossing around in your bed the events of last night kept replaying in your head. 

"Why can't you see– I love you Draco"

"No Y/N you don't love me– you love the idea of fixing me!" Draco shouted at you through his gritted teeth and locked jaw. 

"You can't possibly think that's true..." You backed away from him as the tears in your eyes started to fall. 

Fighting and fighting was all you've been doing with Draco. You knew what you signed up for when you got into a relationship with Draco, but you never thought it would get this bad. Every day you try to hold onto him, try to lend him your hand because God knows he needs it in times like this. After Draco got the mission from you-know-who, he has not been himself. Always sneaking away, only to come back to his dorm past midnight. You tried for so long to try to talk to him but he wasn't budging, and now, here you were. All you wanted to do was tell him he's not alone and that you love him but of course he would turn that on you, twisting it into something sick. 

"Y/N we both know it's true, you come into my life when I'm at my lowest and you try too hard!" Draco continued to shout at your fragile state. 

"Try too hard? Try too hard my arse Draco– This is what I get for caring about you?" You fought back at him not wanting to lose another fight to him.

"I didn't ask for you to care for me– You came to me all on your own trying to be little miss perfect, fixing the broken boy like last year's project! Well, guess what? You can leave now, there's the door Y/N!" Draco spat out at you when a single tear escaped from the corner of his eye. 

Your body ran cold at his harsh words, you knew Draco didn't mean what he said but it still hurts like hell. You've been in his life since the very beginning, growing to love him through your years in Hogwarts. You knew he was hurting and it was hurting you more that you can't take the pain away from him, you love the boy so much to the point where you would sacrifice yourself in a heartbeat in exchange for his happiness.  

"What happened to you? What happened to the boy who helped me ride my first broomstick, to the boy who stuck up for me when those Gryffindors cornered me, to the boy who took me to the Yule Ball–" You chocked out in between your streaming tears "What happened to the boy who I comforted in his home when it was invaded by death eaters? To the boy I've loved since the first year?" You really couldn't control the tears anymore, you had to get out of here before it gets worse.

You shook your head before gathering your book bag and robe, slowly making your way past Draco and to the door he pointed to behind him. You placed your hand onto the doorknob before turning in your place to see Draco's back. 

"Please come back to me" 

With that you were gone, tears run on Draco's pale face– realizing that he just drove you out of his life. Y/N, the last person to truly cared about him, the love of his life. Draco broke down with a scream throwing anything he could get his hands on. 

On the other side of the door, you stood muffling your own tears as you hear him completely breaking. You wiped your face before forcing yourself to step away from the door and back into yours. 

You took a deep breath as you stare up to the ceiling of your dorm. Your roommate was out for the night so it was even quieter, the thoughts in your head screaming at you. You decided that maybe a cold shower would help you sleep.

Before you could even move a muscle the doorknob started rattling, thinking it was your roommate to go get something you turned your body away from the door and closed your eyes, pretending to be asleep. 

The door slowly creaked open and closed again. Footsteps started to approach your bed you could feel a shadow in front of you. The person in front of you stayed there for a moment before brushing a small strand of hair away from your face. 

When the fingertips touched your face you already knew it was Draco, you didn't need to open your eyes to know Draco was touching you. Playing along you stayed still pretending to be asleep as Draco admired your figure wrapped around a thick blanket. Draco placed his hand on the side of your cheeks, stroking it lightly before softly letting out a few words. 

"I'm so sorry"

"I didn't know why I did it but I didn't mean the things I said, I was just– angry, angry at myself for hurting you but angry at you for staying with me when I know someone else could make you much happier than I ever could" Draco softly said, still caressing your rosy cheek in the process. 

"I have never loved anyone other than my family and I don't know how to process the feelings I have for you. This is for the best sweetheart, someday you'll find a guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated– like a princess. I'll be okay, as long as you're happy" 

Draco whispered to you, as you felt a teardrop land on your cheek. Your heart aches, listening to him, listening to how he thinks someone else could make you happier. Little did he know that he was it for you, that he was the person you wanted to spend forever with. 

He kissed your forehead lightly before cupping your face again. Goosebumps start to form on the back of your neck as he leaves little kisses on your face. Your head going dizzy, inhaling his scent that you love to drown yourself in. 

"I love you Y/N" 

Not wasting another second he pulled his hand away from your face and sniffled a little. The warmth from his hand leaving your cheeks, and then you heard his footsteps drifting away from you. 

This was now or never if you don't tell him now you might never will. So with a determined mindset, you slowly sat up from your spot and turned around to see Draco opening the door of your dorm with his head hung low. 

"Draco.." 

He picked up his head and quickly turned on his feet to face you. His tear-stained face and his ruffled hair. He changed into a comfortable jumper along with sweatpants to keep him warm in the cold air. His eyes lit up when he noticed you were wearing his jumper, the very first jumper you stole from him in 4th year. He has told you many times to get rid of it as it was old but you never did, considering that it smells like him the most. 

You eyed his figure in the dark before extending your arms out and made grabby hand gestures at him. He smiled softly before closing the door and walking towards your bed. He touched your hands keeping them in his for a while before closing the space between the two of you with a tight hug. You rested your head on his torso with your legs dangling off the bed on either side of him as he kissed your hair. 

Draco finally let go of the hug just to kneel in front of you. He pouted when he saw your face with tears in the corner of your eyes and squeezed your thighs reassuringly. He took your hands and kissed your wrist before cupping your face to wipe your tears away. 

"I don't want you to go..." You murmured down at him 

His mouth fell into a straight line as he takes in the beautiful sight in front of him. His hands fell from your face to your hips, keeping them there and his head hung low too ashamed to look at his love. 

"Nobody compares to you Draco– N-not even close.." You cooed lifting his head by cupping his face much as he did with yours just seconds ago.

His silver eyes were blown, looking up at you with all the adoration and love the world could possibly offer. He opened his mouth to say something but before the words could leave his mouth you closed your lips on his. He stayed still for a second surprised at your action before closing his eyes and returned the kiss. The kiss wasn't like the many kisses you shared before but rather a needy broken one. His lips were soft and tasted a bit salty from all the tears. Without breaking the kiss you guided him to stand and join you on the bed. You backed up until your head hit the soft cold pillow and Draco hovering above you with his arms on either side of you. The both of you finally pulled away in need of air as you admired the boy above you. 

"Y/N wha-"

"Shush Draco," You said in your sweet voice looking into his eyes. 

He smiled down at you before letting go and crushing you. You smiled at him as he snuggles into your neck, leaving a few open mouth kisses. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder and kissed the top of his head before playing with the ends of his hair. 

"You will not speak such stupid words again Draco– I'm not going anywhere" You whispered to him as he picked his head up from the crook of your neck to look at you. "You do know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you right?" You cooed down to him as his eyes lit up once more. 

"Do you mean that?" Draco asked slowly, wanting every word you're saying to be true. 

"Mhm– After this pass, we can get out of here, get a house in the countryside with a big garden and maybe a pond. Then we can start a family, just the two of us– Unless you're not ready to start a family then we can wait as long as you want. Then we'll watch as the kids grow up and go into Hogwarts to start their own lives and then w–" You said as you imagined your life with Draco. 

He looked up at you with a soft smile before interrupting you with a soft kiss on your lips. He smiled and chuckled into your lips as you do the same, the kiss ended up being a small laughing fit for the both of you. 

"Darling I've never heard anything better" Draco cooed after you both calmed down. 

You smiled at the boy in front of you and returned to your previous position with his head on the crook of your neck and your arms around his neck. 

"I love you, darling" 

"I love you too Draco"

[dasywritingblog]

CRUSH AT THE PREMIER

Scarlett Johansson x reader

Words: 2356

SCARLETT P.O.V.

I'm driving to a caffe down the street to meet up with my longest time best friend (y/n) and as usual I forgot my phone, why everytime I have to meet with (y/n) I get so nervous and forget even my name? Well maybe it is because I have a major crush on her since, how can I say it, well forever probably is the word I'm searching for.

Waking up from my thoughts I park the car and rush to the enter where I see (y/n) impatiently checking her phone.

(Y/N): Where the hell were you? I called you something like five times I thought you were dead!

She says hugging me, I chuckle nervously and hug her back.

SCARLETT: I may or may not have forgotten my phone at home, but anyway is nice to see you too miss finesse.

(Y/N): Oh come on Scarly don't turn into a good girl now.

I blush at this statement and try to hide it laughing and pushing her throward the door.

SCARLETT: Take that fine ass of yours inside I need for my coffee.

(Y/N): Yes ma'am!

We sit at a table and we start talking about what happened in the past month since we didnt have much time to hang up cause we have been super busy with work. I told her everything I could about what happened on the set of Avengers Endgame: funny story, some bloopers and some spoilers as well, but nothing too big since neither I know whats going on in that movie, yep Marvel is very good at keeping secrets.

(Y/N): When is the premier Scarly?

SCARLETT: Tomorrow night and actually I wanted to ask you something about that

My hands got sweaty and I started to panic. What if she says no or she finds out I'm in love with her? Scarlett Ingrid Johansson, you take a breath and ask your best friend and crush to go to the premier with you whether you want it or not! I probably get lost in my thoughts for a while since (y/n/n) is waving her hand in front of my face.

(Y/N): Hellooo? Land to Scarlett, are you here?

SCARLETT: Yeah, sorry I...I zoned out for a sec.

(Y/N): I noticed. Scarly now please answer me sincerely, are you ok?

I frowned at her question.

(Y/N): Don't look at me with that face, you can fool anyone but not me. You've been weird since you arrived today, then you want to ask me something and zone out. This is not you, whats going on?

I take a deep breath trying to gain time.

SCARLETT: Im fine (y/n/n), just a little bit stressed for the premier tomorrow. You know it'll be the first time I'll be there alone and I guess this is stressing me out

(Y/N): Awww don't worry Scarly you'll be amazing as always.- she says taking my hands in hers smiling at me- You're the strongest woman I've ever met and I'm sure that walking on a red carpet alone is not gonna break you down.

I blush at her words and lower my head shaking it a bit.

SCARLETT: The problem is not standing alone on the red carpet, the problem is the presss questions and the scandal that not having a partner for this event is gonna create.

Her smile dropped. She understands what I mean and she knows how much I got stressed when the press spread fake gossip about me.

(Y/N): Well I'm sure we can find someone inclined to accompany you or...

I raised my head at her or and saw the fear and embarrassment on her face. I dont know what happened to me at that moment, but suddenly I felt super confident and the words came out of my mind without me noticing.

SCARLETT: Or you can come with me as my date.

My eyes widened as soon as I realized what I said and I started to panic even more. I try to focus on the bright side of this thing but right now I can't care less about the fact that I practically confessed to my crush, I'm too scared of her reaction. My train of thoughts and paranoia stop rushing when I hear (y/n) laughing.

(Y/N): Your face is sooo funny! Seems like youve seen a ghost!

I try to force out a laugh but it dies in my throat before it can even get out of my mouth so I limit myself at smiling.

(Y/N): You know I wasn't thinking about me when I proposed another option right Scarly?

I nod sadly.

(Y/N): I was thinking about that Colin Jost... But if you want me to be there with you I'll cancel my date night with my couch and Netflix and come with you!

SCARLETT: Really?

My eyes lit up when she agreed to come to the premier as my date. I was so excited and happy as if a burden had been lifted from my shoulder. I jump out of my seat and hug her tight.

SCARLETT: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

(Y/N): Yeah, but don't get too excited I'll only do that in order to see the movie before anyone else.

I stop hugging her and go back to my seat putting on a childish pout and faking to be offended by her statement.

SCARLETT: For what you said you'll have to choose the dress on your own and come to pick me up tomorrow at 5pm.

(Y/N): No no no no. I was joking, girl, chill down! I obviously agreed to come cause youre my best friend and I don't want to let you go alone.- she said scratching the back of her head in facking embarasmen- Now please help me pick a dress!

I burst out laughing at her begging and she joined me soon.

SCARLETT: Ok (y/n/n) well go pick a dress now, but please learn how to plead cause you suck!

We get out of the caffe laughing and wondering about what will happen tomorrow night like two girls going nuts the day before the prom.

TIME SKIP TO THE RED CARPET

I'm walking side by side with (y/n) down the red carpet and I've never felt more powerful in my whole life. For the first time I'm standing in front of the press, journalist, photographer and I don't care about what they're saying and what they'll say tomorrow.

Down the path we stop for some photos and interviews. And I noticed (y/n) tensing and shaking when people ask her questions. Without thinking too much about it I hold her hand rubbing my thumb over the back of it trying to calm her down.

SCARLETT: If it's too much for you I can take you inside the theatre and come back out here alone.- I whisper in her ear.

(Y/N): No it's ok, I'm a little bit overwhelmed but I'll be fine. Just can you hold my hand?

SCARLETT: Sure thing hon, everything for you.

I see her blushing and that makes me smile.

We are now in the theatre and the movies have been going for a while already when I realize that the scene of Natasha's sacrifice is coming up. I shift in my seat trying to get comfortable and ease the stress. I know this scene would come, I mean I shoot it, but it's sad anyway cause after I played Natasha Romanoff for 10 years I can say that she is part of me now.

As soon as the Widow jumps down the cliff the theatre is filled with gasp and sob. Every member of the cast looked at me shocked since no one except Jeremy knew that. Robert, who was sitting at my left lean near me.

ROBERT: You hide it to us for all this time?

SCARLETT: Feige's order.

I hear a sob coming from the person at my right, so I turn around to see (y/n) crying in her seat. That view makes my heart clench, she is so beautiful and precious even with tears rolling down her cheek. I stare at her for a while before she notices and grabs my hand holding it tight in search of comfort. When our hands touch I feel my stomach flutter and my heart skip a beat, we stare at each other's eyes and without realizing we both start to lean in closer without breaking eye contact. My heart was beating so fast and my mind was wandering freely imagining how could (y/n) lips would feel against mine.

Our magic moment was interrupted by a flash coming from the screen we woke up from our state of trance and back off blushing in embarrassment.

TIME SKIP TO EVANSS PARTY

(Y/N) P.O.V.

Me and Scarly are at a party hosted by the one and only Chris Evans. I've lost Scarlett in the crowd so I make my way to go get another drink. If I have to be totally honest I lost count of how many shots I've had, but drinking helps me forget about the problem and right now I have a big problem to take off my mind.

I still can't believe that me and Scarlet had almost kissed each other early in the theatre, but most importantly I can't believe I want it to happen again! She is my best friend and I shouldn't have those thoughts about her. I shouldn't wish to kiss her, but here I am.

The night went on with Scarlett chatting with her cast members and me drinking shot after shot till I practically passed out on someone which at the moment I don't remember the name, my head hurt too much for thinking. I slurred an "I'm sorry" while trying to get back on my feet.

BRIE: Here let me help, youre too drunk to stand alone.- she said while helping me stand still.

(Y/N): I'm not - hiccup- that dwunk -hiccup.

BRIE: Yeah and I'm a member of the Queen.

I stare at her for a while.

(Y/N): Ohhh, that's why you seemed familiar!

BRIE: Ermmm ok. Are you here with someone?

I pointed to Scarlet who was talking to some girl and that view made me jealous. She is mine! The girl member of the Queen walked me to Scarlett and whispered something to her. After that my bestie excused herself from the girl she was talking to and rushed to me. We walked out the house where the party was going on in silence and got in the car where I passed out.

I wake up at Scarlett shaking me violently.

SCARLET: We are here but I need you awake I can't pick you up with this stupid heels.

I nodded and focused my attention on keeping my eyes open. Scarlet helped me get out of the car and walk to the door where she made me lean against the wall while she searched for the key. We finally got inside the house, I threw my purse on the floor and leaned on a table falling asleep.

SCARLETT: No that's not the bed hun come on, we have to take you upstairs then you can sleep I promise.

She struggles at makinkin me stit up since I'm not cooperating much, but I'm too tired to move or even think. I look at Scarlett and notice that she is standing between my legs while Im still sitting over the table. In this way I was way more taller than her so I managed to look at her and notice how embarrassed and frustrated she is right now. I lost myself in her beautiful eyes for the second time in a day and before I even noticed we were leaning in eachother again.

SCARLETT: Fuck this!

Her lips crushed on mine in a very passionate and loving kiss which I gladly responded to. Its amazing, our lips complete each other like two pieces of the same puzzle. I lost myself in those kisses and I didn't even notice that Scarlett had picked me up and she is trying to walk to the staircase without interrupting our magical kiss.

Eventually our lips came apart and as if nothing happened she took me up to a room and put me to bed pecking my lips before I passed out definitely.

TIME SKIP TO THE NEXT MORNING

I stir and roll in the bed trying to remember what happened last night. I wake up and look around noticing that this is NOT my room. I sit up quickly causing my head to hurt and I notice a glass of water with some pills near it and a post-it on the nightstand. I pick the note and read it:

"I got you some pills and water, they'll help with your hangover. There are some of my clothes on the chair put them on then come downstairs I'm doing pancakes

-Scarly❤"

I start to get dressed trying to recall at my mind what happened after the party when something hit me. ME AND SCARLETT KISSED!

I fall on the floor tripping over the bed sheet, I stand up again and start going downstairs rubbing my sore back. When I entered the kitchen I saw Scarly focused on not burning the pancake. I walked behind her, slid my hand around her waist, hugging her and kissing her cheek.

(Y/N): Morning love.

SCARLETT: Look who decided to wake up!- she said kissing my lips- How are you feeling?

(Y/N): Me good, my ass not much since I fell on the floor.

We burst laughing and sit at the table starting to eat breakfast without the need to talk about what happened last night cause both of us know that we wanted it for a long time.

Love you you all and be safe

Dasy 🥰

[cocochannel00]

The Azoff Family: A Case Study on one of the Music Industry’s Most Connected Families

(ft. a breakdown of the Grammy voting process and problems)

This is very long so I will try and split it up into categories for everyone (sorry I got carried away- I spent like 2 hours writing this) but enjoy!

*Disclaimer: I want to preface while the majority of this is based in research, some parts may be speculation. I don’t know the family personally so I can’t tell you what goes on behind closed doors but I can tell you how parts of the entertainment/music industry work. I’ve had 5 internships in the industry (one in marketing at one of the big record labels) and the rest of my work is publicity (what I enjoy) and events and a former advisor used to run in the same circles as Irving Azoff (and he spilled some tea last year) I’m not out here to diminish the hard work of any artists or their teams, I’m simply here to showcase parts of the industry that aren’t always shown.*

Please also see: Story Time: How Fan Pages Directly Impact Columbia Records Decisions and Harry Styles Image

IRVING AZOFF: NEVER STOP THE GRIND

Let’s begin with the great business man himself Mr. Irving Azoff Irving Azoff is the literal posture child for connections and power in the music industry (he was also inducted into the 2020 rock and roll hall of fame class which is like a huge fucking deal for a manager to be inducted so you know he's the real deal)

In conclusion, I love Irving Azoff and his drive.

Irving Azoff: Early Years Run Down:

He came up middle class (dad was a pharmacist, mom a bookkeeper) in Danville, Illinois

He dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and managed local acts in the era

Opportunity came knocking and he got the chance to manage the Eagles and the rest is history

He's one of the best negotiators and has negotiated business on behalf of stars like Stevie Nicks, the Eagles, and Jimmy Buffet

Azoff has been an incredible manager and his drive to always advocate for his clients while basically not giving two sh*ts about what people think of him has gotten him the incredible reputation he has today.

All of Irving Azoff’s Major Job Positions:

Former President MCA (major label)

Former CEO of Ticketmaster and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation.

In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment (Currently still CEO)

----> Azoff also ran the Forum in Inglewood under Azoff MSG Entertainment after MSG purchased it in 2012 (it was sold in 2020 to the owner of the Clippers) — why do you think Harry played the forum for the Fine Line show? Azoff connection

Azoff MSG Entertainment encompasses all of the other companies including Full Stop Management, Global Music Rights (performance-rights org), and the Oak View Group (arena developing company)

He also is the co-founder and manager of the lobbying group Music Artists Coalition, a group that helps lobby for artists-rights issues such as royalty rates, copyright issue and healthcare insurance (see he's not all bad)

Essentially what I'm getting at is this man knows anybody who's anybody. He's the man you want on your team to help promote your music, plan your tour, and get you on that Grammy nom list.

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JEFFREY AZOFF: THE CHILD OF NEPOTISM

So for those of you that don't know, Jeffery Azoff is Harry's current manager and the son of Irving Azoff (the third of four kids). He's currently a partner at Full Stop Management, the company owned by Irving and the one artists such as Harry, Haim, the Eagles, Kings of Leon, and Meghan Trainer are signed to.

Jeffrey graduated from the University of Colorado's Leeds School of Business and started working fresh out of college at his father's old Management company (Frontline Management) working under Maroon 5's manager Jordan Feldstein (the only way you get that kind of internship/job as a 21 year old fresh out of college is if your family or family friends gives it to you). He worked here for 5 years.

Direct Quote from Irving Azoff to Jeffrey (really tells you a lot): "Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son."

After working for his father, Jeffrey moved on to the talent agency CAA (Creative Artist Agency) where he worked for roughly 3 and half years before joining his dad in forming Full Stop Management in 2016.

While he was at CAA, Irving moved over clients like Christina Aguilera and the Eagles to the talent agency to help with tour booking instead of doing it internally through LiveNation (he was CEO).

Even though I'm sure Jeff has had to work somewhat hard to get to where he is (or at least to mess up his dad's work as he doesn't seem like the type to take laziness well), the door into the industry and every job was basically handed to him on a silver platter.

Not to mention if you watch episodes of keeping up with the  kardashians (like myself) you can actually see Jeff hanging out with kendall and the rest of the fam at their Palm Springs house (you know you're a nepotism kid if you have an in with the Kardashian crew). Invite me next time Jeffrey!!!

Think of the Azoff's as the mafia family of the music industry, you don't mess with the mafia

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THE GRAMMY AWARDS: STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS ON STEROIDS

Ok so here's where we’re going to get into a bit more of the speculation/grey area. I don't need to tell you that award shows are corrupt (See the Golden Globes Emily in Paris scandal) and the Grammys are not an exception. Think of the Grammys as one big student council/government elections where despite the fact the teachers tell you six times to vote for the best candidate, you're still going to vote for your friends even if they aren't the best.

A simplified break-down of Grammy voting:

1) Recording Academy voting members (artists, producers, musicians- anyone involved first hand with the creation of music; All voting members must have been producers, performers or engineers on six or more tracks of a commercially released album (or 12 or more digital tracks) and record labels will submit nominations in various categories to the grammys (songs need to be released commercially between October 1 of the previous year and September 30th of this year). You can also become a voting member by either winning a grammy or being endorsed by a current voting member (hint hint)

2) Once received, the recording academy with have the academy of trustees and its reviewers organize them and approve any changes to the 30 categories/fields (aka they can add new categories or remove old ones; so no best ukulele album of the year -- this is where things get funky)

There's speculation that during this stage when these special groups of 8-10 people are organizing genres, there's an "unwritten rule" that you need to be careful what album you green light (especially for famous artists) if you don't want them to win) (Rob Kenner said this- he used to be on one of these committees). Famous people tend to get more votes from clueless or lay Academy members that don't know the specialized categories or don't care enough to listen to songs that aren't radio trending.

3) After the nominations occur, Voting members begin their first voting. Members can vote for the four general categories of record of the year, album of the year, song of the year and best new artist and a maximum of 15 categories, all within their areas of expertise. Now the interesting thing is that while these are the guidelines there is literally nothing stopping them from voting in whatever categories they want (i.g. a rapper voting in the opera category despite not listening to opera). Theses ballots are all tallied and the top 20 entries are determined in each category (funky moment #2)

In 12 of the 84 categories those top 20 go to the ballot and it's done; for the rest it’s not like that. 59 categories including the big four go to a "nomination review committees" (identities are protected so they can't get lobbied... sure) who take a look at the top 20 and narrow it down to 7 or 8. (these are the special committees the Weekend talked about when he was snubbed). They're supposed to choose the nominees "based solely on the artistic and technical merits of the eligible recordings" which lets be real if that was the case Watermelon Sugar (along with most of the others in the category) I don't think would have been nomimated as they are very generic pop (none of them are special... sorry to the WM lovers out there).

This committee is basically held to THE HONOR CODE SYSTEM... I mean tell me when the last time the honor code system worked in literally any scenario (literally wtf). Don't take my word for it though the former CEO of the Academy Deborah Dugan (a queen) filed a complaint against the Recording Academy basically claiming that the nomination review process was rigged (she was fired after 5 months on the job).

Quote from Deborah Dugan "Members of the board [of trustees] and the secret committees chose artists with whom they have personal or business relationships... It is not unusual for artists who have relationships with Board members and who ranked at the bottom of the initial 20-artist list to end up receiving nominations."

These review committees can also exploit there power by adding up to two nominees that don't appear on the top 20 list to the final voting ballot (except in the 4 big categories - which watermelon sugar that one wasn't nominated for)

They also have craft committees for like non performance stuff (like album notes, engineering and arranging) that don't even get voted on by the academy voting members

4) After all of that fucked up mess, the grammy's decided is ok, the ballots go back to the voting members for the final vote. Deloitte (an accounting firm) then counts all of them, seals them in envelopes, and delivers them to the Grammy award show.

** The Grammy's just announced this year they're removing the "secret committees" so let's see how things shift in the next couple of years**

So obviously I'm not saying this to discredit Harry's nomination or his win as Fine Line was in the US top 20 albums for the majority of 2020, however, we must acknowledge privilege. Harry has a big name to him and a huge following, and while all of that shouldn't be taken into account, it does. He also has the Azoffs, a very well connected family with friends in lots of places that would be able to put in a good word here and there to get support behind Harry. Harry won best pop solo performance for Watermelon Sugar in a category with Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Dua Lipa. Look at the names there, the songs (ya'll can try and remember them cause I'm too lazy to write it out) and tell me that those top names with all of the music produced didn't get there through some connections.

Do with all this information what you will and if you are interested in learning more about the entertainment industry on your own Endeavor (owners of WME, a big talent agency like CAA) is hosting a free online program called the Excellence Program to help guide the future generation of industry executives. The program is a-synchronous and starts on July 12th. Highly recommend giving it a go if you're interested!!!

Alright ya'll that's it. Feel free to message me with your thoughts!

Extra Sources if you'd like to read:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkdndn/how-grammys-voting-actually-works-and-where-the-alleged-corruption-lies

https://www.grammy.com/grammys/awards/voting-process

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2020-11-05/irving-azoff-eagles-manager

https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/jeffrey-azoff-exits-caa-to-launch-new-management-company/

https://www.rollingstone.com/pro/features/grammy-awards-secret-committees-945532/

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-awards-eliminate-secret-committees-voting-changes-1163887/