#i had to get up to start pacing and stimming

[khayalli]

Donnie is wiping his hands on a rag when you catch sight of him. Covered in grease, wearing that fucking tank top, with those goddamn boots, and- oh God, he's looking your way. Oh God, okay, don't panic.

A thick eyebrow raises, and he stalks toward you with a smirk that makes your heart flutter.

“Back again?”

You nod. Smile. Try to look at him without your eyes straying to the smudge of grease on his neck, try to talk without fumbling your words. “It's making a weird sound again. Mind taking a look?”

He hums, tucking the rag into his back pocket before stepping closer. Close enough that you have to crane your neck back to keep looking at his face. Close enough that the strong smell of motor oil and sweat makes you feel a little lightheaded. You swallow, and you swear his smirk gets a little sharper.

“Anything for my favorite customer,” he murmurs. You feel your eyes widen, and when he winks at you a blush creeps across your face. Donnie tilts his head, eyes going a little dark. “Come on, pretty girl. Let's get you taken care of.”

CLERRIIIICCC?!??!?!?!?

UNPROVOKED?!?!??????

IM COMBUSTING???? IMMOLATING. DUST. REQDY FOR THE BUGS TO TAKE ME AWAY RAAAAAHHHHHHH

[drchucktingle]

On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.

It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.

If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?

Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!

sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.

there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE

autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself

this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.

so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.

when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).

anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.

i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.

hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL

[in-act-ive]

The Walking Dead x GN/NB!over stimulated!Reader

This is a two parter! As of right now the second one isn't out!

Request : nope

Type : headcanon

A / N : My tip is always headphones!! I also only did the characters im comfortable with writing about as of right now! If you need more tips always feel free to ask <33

Carl Grimes

He gets it

He also picks up on it really fast

If you're acting at all off he'll come up behind you and cover your ears to block out some of the noise

He likes it when you put your hands over his

If you look like your about to cry he'll take you away from the chaos and get you some place thats calm and you don't need to stress out anymore

He's probably picked up anything he thinks you can mess with while being over stimmed

One of those is definitely a stuffed animal

Carl definitely has had made excuses that embarrass himself just to help you get away

Rick Grimes

He has experience with it due to his son

He's horrible at picking up on it though

Most of the time you have to go up to him and tell him you're over stimulated by everything going on and he'll try his best to help you

Most of the time he'll send you off with Carol or Tara cause he wants to help but he's busy

When you have to be some place with him he has something in his pockets for you to mess with to distract yourself

Rick just tries to make sure you know he does care

When he does have the time he'll take you somewhere you can rest and will stay with you

Unless he gets pulled to work again

He wants to prioritize you, really

He's just a busy man

Daryl Dixon

He does not what he's doing

He just tries to ask you what you need

He picks up on it almost immediately

9 times out of 10 he goes and asks Carol or Rick what he should be doing

He probably just sends you to someone who knows what their doing unlike himself who is an idiot

He has a list of everything you've said / he's been told that helps

He keeps it on him at all times

He's pretty good about disappearing without anyone noticing so if he knows you need to be away from all the chaos he'll take you there

He won't exactly sit with you, he'll pace around instead

Like, he wants to be there for you, yes, and... He's not good with showing that

Abraham Ford

He knows exactly what he's doing

He's probably sat you down to ask what he can do to help you because he really does want to help

He makes sure to have something in his pockets to give to you to fiddle with when you need a distraction

Big hands = covering your ears

He'll run the back of his hand along yours to let him know he knows and is trying to figure out what you need

He picks up on it a bit slower than most but he does

Sometimes he needs Glenn or Tara to point it out to him so he knows for sure

He will get you away without saying a word to anyone else

If anyone asks he'll say " None of your damn business " and walk off with you

If you start crying he'll cup your face in his hands and whipe your tears away with his thumbs

Glenn Rhee

He's got this

He doesn't

He's trying though!

He picks up on it quickly though and lets anyone who he knows cat help you know

Abraham is his first option every time

He's probably the one to drag you away from a crowd and get you some place thats less stimulating then RUN for Abraham

He does want to help but he really doesn't know how

He's usually your second to last option so most of the time when you get to him you're already crying

He's good at comforting crying people

He'll get you some place safe and kiss your knuckles and use his sleeve to whipe yout tears

He's a sweetheart

He doesn't really understand whats going on but he wants to help none the less

He's probably asked you what happens and how you feel so he can imagine what you'd need

Shane Walsh

Bold of you to assume this man knows jack shit

In all fairness he knows some from dealing with Carl for most of the boys life

He's been nominated most likely to send you to anyone but himself

When he does have to help he kinda pats your back and tries to dig through his pockets to find something for you to fiddle with

He kinda seems irritated with you when you bother him about it

Eye rolls every time

He'll cover your ears if you ask nicely

On rare occasions he'll take you somewhere less stimulating

He'll leave you there

Aside from being rude 24/7 he will try and help if he has to

He just doesn't like being helpful

Negan

This man is so helpful

You still don't know why he's like that

Most of the time he picks up on it instantly and will try and help you best he can

He'll sit down with you in front of him facing him and he'll cover your hears, running this thumbs against anywhere they can reach

He likes it when you distract himself by playing with his hair

If you're lucky and you two are close enough he'll pull you into his lap

He'll get everyone to shut up and leave so you can be in a less stimulating environment

He's found and stolen a bunch of things you can mess with when you need too

He always focuses on your breathing, making sure its stable, always

He may act like an ass but he tries to tone it down

He knows how to help and will help anyway you want / need it

Gabriel Stokes

He knows the basic amount of things

Probably asked Rick for help on what to do lets be honest

He didn't want to ask you directly to seem inconsiderate

He tries to avoid you to not make it all worse

It makes it worse

Someone had to tell him that avoiding you made you feel horrible and he felt bad

The amount of times he apologized was exhausting for you

Hr tries to help out a lot better now even if he has no clue really what he's doing

He'll give you something to fiddle with and help you take deep breaths before running to find someone who knows how to help you better

He has stated he wants to help but doesn't know how to nor does he want to be the main person you rely on

Note: This was not spell checked nor grammer checked! I apologize in advance for the mistakes

[babygorewhore]

You’re everything.

Eddie Munson x fem reader

Eddie Munson comes home and sees the bedroom destroyed. Your mental health has taken a toll and you feel worthless. But he’s always there to remind you how much he loves you and how he’s always willing to help you pick up the pieces.

Warnings! Hurt comfort. Mental illness. I wrote this with the reader having BPD and autism. This is based on my experience. I haven’t seen much on those two issues. Feelings of worthlessness. Mild self harm. Anger episode. Anxiety. I hope this comforts you because you’re worthy of love and Eddie would love you no matter what. Also the photo used is just for aesthetic. Not proofread.

Thank you to my friends, Dolly, Mae and Em for helping me with this. I love you girls.

Eddie pushed open the apartment door, with his hip, a few grocery bags lined down his arm because he refused to make two trips. “Hey, sweetheart, I’m back!” He shut the door with his foot, did a quick unfocused glance around the living room.

“Fuck, the store was packed! I think you would have stayed in the car, baby.” He set down the bags and started putting away the cold items. Eddie yawned afterwards, closing the refrigerator and stretched. His black, stolen back sweatshirt rising above his stomach.

It dawned on him that you haven’t responded at all. “Baby?” He called again. No answer. He frowned and approached the bedroom door and he gasped when he saw the scene.

The bed was torn apart. Blankets thrown off and the pillows dented. Eddie went to take a step before he looked on the ground. Stim toys were all over the floor. Stuffed animals and even clothes. A few shirts were ripped. He didn’t see you. “Princess, what’s going-“

A hole was in the wall next to the closet. A small one but it went deep in the plaster. Eddie moved quickly. Surveying the damage, he saw a bloody imprint. Knuckles. Eddie sighed. You were having an episode. He should have known. You didn’t answer his texts. You hated phone calls. This wasn’t the first time this happened. Eddie on a number of times had to sit by your side during dark hours.

But he loved you. You were beautiful. His everything. It wasn’t one sided. If anything, you gave too much to him. You were always supporting him. Even when he was unbearable. You stood by him. He would do whatever you needed. He needed you. He wanted you. Eddie knew immediately where you were then.

He gently opened the closet door and he saw you. You were wearing a large t shirt, it went past your thighs and loose plaid pajama pants.

Over ear headphones on, your phone face down on the floor and you were stimming. Rocking back and forth. You were panting, your face flushed and he could see your eyes squeezed shut. Eddie saw your right hand. Your knuckles were bloody and bruised.

He didn’t want to startle you so Eddie opened the door further, enough for you to hear it over music.

Eddie’s heart ached when you turned to look at him. Your eyes were blood shot. Your lips bleeding from what he knew, you bit them or picking at them. Your nails had blood underneath them from biting the nail. You were a wreck. But you were his special girl.

“Hey…” He said, swallowing. “Baby, I-what happened?”

You tried to stand but ended up sprawled on the ground. He went to help you but you jerked away, pulling yourself up.

“I’m so fucking mad right now.” You were almost yelling. But you sounded out of breath. “I-I took my meds but I’m still like this. My heart hurts, I just feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. Everything is too loud!” You weren’t crying but you were growing hysterical. You started pacing.

“Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be normal? Why do I get so upset over the smallest things?” Eddie was standing close but he didn’t reach yet. You were tugging at your shirt. He knew you were getting hot.

“I can’t deal with this. I can’t feel this way! Im so sick of feeling like I’m useless because I can’t even talk on the phone to my boyfriend because I hate how it makes me feel! You shouldn’t have to deal with me.”

“Sweetheart, will you just come here for a second?” Eddie tried to prompt.

“No!” You stopped moving and placed your hands on your chest. “Eddie. I don’t want you to see me like this. Again. Maybe you should leave. I don’t want to keep freaking you out.”

Eddie moved then. And he gently grasped your elbows and looked down. Eye contact was difficult for you and he never wanted to force it. But he tilted your chin, happy if you just looked at his forehead. “Princess. I’m not leaving you. I would never.” He leaned forward, rubbing his nose against yours. “I’m just happy you didn’t break your hand.” He pulled away, glad you weren’t moving away. “You’re burning up. Let’s get to the couch, it’s too warm in here.”

Eddie wrapped his arm around your waist, helping you walk around the mess and he sat you down on the couch. “I’ll be right back, babe.” You grabbed his hand. “I promise.” He smiled at you. You slowly let go.

He tried not to show his panic as he looked for the first aid kit. Eddie came back to the living room, kneeling in front of you. “Let me see that hand.” He asked, pulling it towards him. It was shaking. He was careful, dabbing it with saline and you winced. “I’m sorry, baby.” Eddie went through the motions, remembering how to wrap an injured hand from his own share of punching walls.

After the bandage was around your hand, he pressed a kiss on top. He maneuvered his way up and sat beside you. Eddie held your leg that was bouncing. “Babe…I know for a while things have been really hard for you. And seeing all that today, I see you’re in a lot of pain. And I just want to help you. I love you so much. You know that right?” You covered your face with your hands.

“Eddie, you shouldn’t. I feel like I don’t have enough good days. I’m so tired of always telling you how bad my day was, or that I want to have a meltdown about fucking textures or sounds. I just wish I could be normal for you.” Eddie shook his head, taking your hands down.

“Hey. Hey. I would never trade you for anything. I would never want anyone other than you. The only thing I wish I could change, is how you feel about yourself. Baby, you are so much more than what you struggle with. You’re kind, funny, like so funny I almost snort and I can’t even breathe. You understand me, you are so caring and you let me be annoying when I smoke too much weed. I could go on for days.” You lifted your head. And looked at him. And held eye contact.

“You’re more than bad days, baby. I love you so much. And I know you were listening to our song, right? The one I told you to play when things get bad?” You nodded. Smiling a little. Eddie feigned shock.

“Is that-is that a smile? That’s my girl.” It widened and he grinned, cupping your cheeks.

“Come on. Sing one line with me. And then, I’m gonna go pick up the bedroom. I’m going to make you something to eat and then we’re going to watch your favorite movies.”

“Do I have to sing?” You complained.

“Sorry, baby. Those are the rules.” Eddie winked, still holding tight to your face.

“And I don’t want the world to see me, cuz I don’t think that they’d understand.” Eddie leaned in, pressing his lips softly to yours. Gently because of the picked apart flesh.

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and squeezed tightly. Eddie followed suit and hugged you around the waist.

“I love you so much, Eddie.”

Eddie breathed you in. It wouldn’t fix what you felt. But you wouldn’t have to battle anything alone.

Tagging. @xxhellfirebunnyxx @reidsbtch @take-everything-you-can @emsgoodthinkin @monstxrteeth @battymunson @scene-and-dandylover @lithium80sblog @elaine-in-the-membrane

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Aaron Hotchner X Derek Morgan X ADHD Autistic teen reader

Summary: Aaron Hotchner and Derek Morgan interrogate a 14 year old daughter of Unsub who has ADHD and is autistic, she was abused by her father her whole life. A bomb gets set off and she protects them

Third person pov...

14 year old Y/N had been in a small interrogation room for the last hour alone, your probably wondering how she knows that because she's been keeping count in her head.

Early on that day the police came looking for her farther but he wasn't there, instead she got taken to the police station and handcuffed (after she accidentally lashed out when they touched her) she's autistic and doesn't like touch- the police didn't listen when she tried to explain to them.

So here she sits, for the last 5 minutes she has been tapping her foot repeatedly on the floor, she has ADHD and couldn't sit still for long, but she was handcuffed to the table so she couldn't stand up and stim.

She then started humming the same tune over and over and over until a man shouts at her to shut up over the com. "Someone's grumpy" she mutters, deciding to go back to tapping her foot repeatedly.

She was beginning to get overwhelmed with everything. "Can I go now please?" She asks into the room but obviously towards the two way mirror.

She got no response. "Please, I don't like it here" she whispers shouting not going to work she realised, suddenly the door is opened two men walk in.

Y/N tenses, with her dad she doesn't like being around men, angling her body away from them she waits until they speak.

Eyebrows slams a files down on the table making her flinch at the loud sound, the Grumpy looking man just stares. "What- Do you know what these are?" He demands, Y/N shakes her head not looking at the man.

She looks down then shuts her eyes. "N-no I don't please" she cries squeezing her eyes shut not wanting to look at the pictures, they where of the victims died in the bombings that happened.

"I don't like it here" she cries pulling on the cuffs trying desperately to yank them off, eyebrows tries to grab her to stop but she kicks out. "No don't touch" she cries almost in hysterics.

Eyebrows holds up his hands and moved out of reach. "Okay I won't touch you, we won't touch you Y/N" he says teying desperately to calm her down.

Grumpy pants- as Y/N dubbed, walked out of the room putting his phone tk his ear, Hotch calls Penelope. "Yello" "Garica, Y/N L/Ns file does it have anything about mental disorders or anything like that?" He asks confused with the girls strong reactions.

After a few seconds Penelope gets back. "It says here that she is Autistic and has ADHD sir" Hotch thinks "that makes sense, thanks Garica" "your welcome Bossman" Hotch then walks back into the room.

Derek is far away from the girl. "Morgan" Derek walks over. "We forgot one thing that all the victims have in common, they are all neurodivergent in some way" he explains to the man.

They then both look over at the girl, she was back to tapping her foot repeatedly

"Y/N, are you autistic?" Asks Hotch, the girl nods her head. "Yes I am, I tried to explain to the idiots in blue but they wouldn't listen" she says it was the most they heard her say.

"Can I have these off now please?" She asks, her voice quiet like she expected to be shouted at. Derek looks ar Hotch the man nods his head. "Sure" he says and unlocks Y/N hands.

The 14 year old instantly jumps up from the desk, absently rubbing her red wrists, she begins pacing back and forth flapping her hands. The men watch her as she stims.

"We just want to talk to you about your father." Says Hotch, Y/N stops stimming and looked up at them with wide, frightened eyes.

She was small in stature, but her piercing gaze held a hint of strength that took the two seasoned agents by surprise. "My father is a monster" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Hotchner and Morgan exchanged a knowing glance. They had seen this before – the child of an Unsub who had been subjected to unimaginable abuse and trauma.

"Y/N does you father treat you well?" Asks Derek carefully, Y/N looks down she nervously rings her fingers as she thinks.

"He doesn't" she confesses. "He hates that I'm different, he thinks it's wrong and tries to beat the 'retardness' out of me" she confesses crying as she paces back and forth in the little space.

Hotch and Morgan eye each other from the corner of their eyes then look at Y/N.

"We know, hes a monster which is why we need to find him" Morgan replied gently. 'But we need your help to find him. We believe he may be planning to harm more people.'

Y/N hesitated for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. It was a map, with a clearly marked location circled in red.

'That's where he's keeping his bombs" she said, sliding the paper across the table. Hotchner and Morgan looked at each other in shock.

They had been searching for those bombs for weeks, and here it was, handed to them by a scared teenage girl.

They immediately sprang into action, calling for backup and racing to the location. But as they arrived, they realized that Y/N had also been telling the truth about another thing – her father had taught her how to make bombs.

Before they could even process the situation, a loud explosion ripped through the air. Hotchner and Morgan were thrown back by the blast, but they were quickly pulled to safety by Y/N who had shielded them with her own body.

She lay unconscious, her small frame protecting them from the debris, Y/N was rushed to the hospital, and after a few days, she regained consciousness.

Hotchner and Morgan were there, by her bedside, along with a team of doctors and nurses who were amazed by her bravery.

"We couldn't have stopped him without you,' Hotchner said, his voice filled with sincerity, the girl looked up at them and smiled weakly. "Can I be part of your team now?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

Hotchner and Morgan shared a smile, knowing that Y/N had found a new family in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Despite the darkness of her past, she had shown courage and strength that they had rarely seen before.

And as they welcomed her into their team, they knew that together, they could take on anything that came their way.

The end!

Hope you liked this one shot sorry for the late update been a busy week but I am now on Christmas break and will update regularly.

As usual sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1204

[stargirl-writes]

safety net part two

pairing : force healer! jedi reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 1 k

masterlist | part one

summary

finding safety in a world deranged by war became a distant dream until your childhood friend, anakin skywalker, comes back to your life.

tags : angst, fluff, romance, friends-to-lovers

warnings : mentions of dressing a wound

notes

part two of this one but can be read as a stand alone !

also, i think it'd make sense if i say that as a demisexual, angst is my version of a smut haha!

Anakin would appear every Wednesday.

The clone war broke out and healing Anakin became more difficult. For every wound that you closed, another would appear.

By the fourth week of your treatment, his bionic arm was nearly finished. You've gone to extensive lengths to gather beskar alloy. Which worked out in the end, because Anakin's synthetic arm became a sort of shield.

There was absolutely no reason for him to keep coming to your med-bay station. You knew he could've easily submerged himself in a bacta tank, which he developed a deep hatred of, or used a stim, but he persists.

And you can't entirely find it in yourself to not welcome him.

Anakin was a part of your childhood that felt like how home always felt. Even if you can no longer identify with most parts of your past, Anakin was... well, it was nice having him around.

"I'm starting to get the idea you're hurting yourself to see me" You teased one late night when Anakin welcomed himself to your quarters.

He lets out a soft chuckle, shrugging his shoulders.

You step forward, hand finding a way to his cheek out of instinct.

Exhaustion. Warmth. Excitement. 

You withdrew your hand, he was alright.

His gaze felt warm on your skin, you caught your eyes locked with his.

Your heart races and you step back, searching for something to occupy yourself with.

"I still don't get how you do that" Anakin's voice echoes from behind. You open the drawer of your closet to find your kit.

When you turned, Anakin was curiously stirring the pot of soup you were preparing.

"Do what?" You asked absentmindedly, laying out the cotton, the antiseptic, and the salve neatly on the table.

"You can tell how I'm feeling by touch?" Anakin searches the cupboards for the bowls and cutlery.

"I've been trained to" You answered, then gestured Anakin to sit down so you can dress his wound.

Anakin walked over and started taking off his robes. He winces under his breath. Recognizing his careful movements, you helped him unbutton his shirt.

A large blaster burn was marking the back of his shoulder to his collarbone.

"You should've gotten this checked by a med droid" You lectured, surveying the wound.

"Thought I could use gentler hands" He still delighted in himself.

You huffed a laugh. Then, you began cleaning the wound.

"I'm applying the salve now" You narrated what you were doing, a habit you developed after realizing Anakin does not like being surprised by the sensation.

He nods and you continue. Finally, you focused your intent on fully healing the wound. You closed your eyes, focusing on breathing at a steady pace. It had been a few moments before the skin was new again.

"Thank you" Anakin mutters, rolling his shoulder to feel the pain had gone away.

You stood up and turned the heat off the soup. Anakin pulls the chair and waits for you to sit. Once again, it was just you and Anakin sharing a table, isolated from everyone else. The way it always used to.

However, when morning comes, the reality of it dawns on you. You can only ever steal a few moments of safety with Anakin, but the truth is there'll always be a war.

On most days, it felt like the losses were unending. On most nights, Anakin would make time to hold you as you wept when the weight of it all felt too heavy.

You weren't really the person to cry in front of other people. But with Anakin, you fall to pieces. Perhaps, you were comforted by the fact that he won't judge you, even if some nights you'd utterly be inconsolable.

"We'll be alright" He'd promise.

Even the fact that you have Anakin Skywalker so definitely became a cause of fear.

Because there he'll always be. You know his eyes like they are your own. You can hear his laughter when he is not laughing. You can come to Anakin and there he'll always be.

What happens when he's not?

You hadn't even realized how much you were depending on Anakin. Because it was always about taking care of each other.

So it came unexpectedly.

One quiet evening Anakin insisted on staying the night.

And you let him in, holding the door wide open so he'd know he could leave anytime he wished.

"I didn't think I'd ever be this happy to be back on Coruscant" You sat on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep breath as you leave the tormenting memories of the day fade away with the light.

"I make you happy?" Anakin half turns with a boyish smile.

His resilience was something you admired. You were certain he was carrying an equal amount of grief. And yet, here he was. Brave and confident, so competent, so certain that he, too, has something to offer.

"Of course, you do," You said, to yourself or Anakin, but you couldn't decipher.

He was telling a story of how he started implementing this game with Ahsoka, a competition of some sort to revert her focus away from the truths of the war. His words blur as you stare and think to yourself, Oh.

He has that power over me now. 

It felt like a surrender. In a world terrorized by a raging war, he built a home that made you feel safe.

He notices your silence and sits down next to you, his finger tracing the necklace he gave you, and you find yourself running yours through his hair.

"We're going to be fine," Anakin said. "It's okay, it's going to be alright," he said in a firmer tone.

He'd been there when you needed him to. So, he'd always reassure you.

"I'll always take care of you, you know what, right?"

"That's my line" You chuckled.

Anakin mirrors your smile. "Right, well, I mean it".

Your mind quiets, and you can't hold the pose of defiance when Anakin presses your head to his chest.

"Doesn't it get tiring? Fighting and fighting..." You trailed, voice barely above a whisper.

"It does." He answers. "But we have to, otherwise, it's like handing the galaxy in the hands of a cruel tyrant"

You turned your face upwards to hear more, and your nose touched his.

"Alright, chosen one" You teased his heroic remark.

He grimaces at the title. He still doesn't believe it to be true. And you'd never miss the opportunity to call him that.

"At least you're already chosen by someone" You looked up through your lashes.

Anakin shakes his head and his lips curl to the side. "Well, you're my chosen one"

did anyone catch the dramatic irony haha!

[trophyprincess]

Here are some tips that have helped me stay sane in the face of my body dysmorphia and disordered eating habits.

Positivity time! This one's for all the ladies out there struggling with their bodies.

Body dysmorphia causes changes to visual areas of the brain. Your brain is literally lying to you. You are hallucinating. No, seriously. This is SO SO IMPORTANT. Look, if you have an ED then chances are, you may very well have legitimate body dysmorphic disorder. Your brain may be warping and distorting the image in the mirror. It's why everyone around you keeps saying how thin you are, but all you can see in the mirror is flab. It's a neurophysiological thing. (Most of the literature on BDD seems to pertain to cases regarding the patient's facial features or similar, rather than in the context of body size in ED patients, though.)

One binge won't undo your progress. Everyone fucks up sometimes. Don't dwell, don't ruminate, just pick yourself up the next day and keep going! This applies to "binges" in the proper clinical sense, as well as 4n4 "binges" that are more aptly described as simply "overeating." I occasionally will give myself a "free day" once a month or so, or if it's a holiday or something.

If you fast and restrict, take a good multivitamin, plus a calcium supplement! I also take thiamine to be safe. Being thin and undereating are associated with osteoporosis risk later in life, so calcium is a must! You need to make sure you're getting all of the critical micronutrients your body needs to function.

Exercise, especially cardio, helps with dopamine regulation. I have industrial strength ADHD-PI, ymmv. I also find that exercise bike, walking, or even pacing constantly = STIMMY STIMMY STIM TIME STIMS, MUST STIM, MORE STIM, CANNOT BE STILL, FUCK YOUR QUIET HANDS. Again, ymmv, fuck quiet hands, all my ND homies hate quiet hands.

Strengthening/resistance exercises help prevent osteoporosis later in life. 20-30 minutes 3-5x/week of yoga or pilates is great for this!

THC gummies are pretty low calorie. Shoutout to drugs other than alcohol for not having calories! (I use cannabis and hallucinogens, not big on hard drugs though.)

If you do drink, there are low cal options, but please moderate and try to follow CDC guidelines and avoid frequent binge drinking!! Guys, susceptibility to addiction runs in families. Also, struggling with impulse control aspects of binging may cooccur sometimes with susceptibility to alcohol abuse and addiction. I like vodka with diet tonic water, gin and tonic with diet tonic water, and vodka cosmos with diet 5 cal cranberrry "juice!" White Claw and similar hard seltzers are also great. Personally, I avoid drinking alone, don't drink all that often, and take care to be responsible and cautious. Ymmv, especially if you're still in early adulthood and just now starting to really experiment with substances!

When you do eat, make sure to get enough protein and fats! Carbs, you can take or leave. No one ever died from lack of carbohydrates, oddly enough. Protein and fat, though? I've had seizures due to low blood protein (combined with an accidental double dose of bupropion, to be fair). Rabbit starvation is a thing. This is especially important to pay attention to if you're vegetarian or vegan! Egg whites, chicken, tuna and other fish, olives, chickpeas, nuts, and beans are all good low calorie sources of protein and fats. (Olives, legumes, and especially nuts are energy dense though, so moderation is key.)

Enjoy the nice, healthy, low calorie foods that you do eat. It's okay to enjoy food, even if it's safe foods like light salads or cauliflower rice with vegetables.

Seek out social support and harm reduction advice. One thing people overlook about the whole "pr0 4n4" thing is that these communities are key sources of social support and harm reduction information for people who struggle with EDs.

[fatuifvcker]

I DEMAND US FACE SITTING GEPARD💪💪

(⁠｡⁠・⁠/⁠/⁠ε⁠/⁠/⁠・⁠｡⁠)

HI I LOVE GEPARD AND WHIPPED THIS UP SO FAST THANKS TO A RED BULL ENERGY DRINK!

A/N: This is my first time writing/posting Gepard or HSR in general, so please go easy on me... I will get more comfortable as I write for it more!

Word Count: 0.6k

Warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI! Face sitting, slight/brief over stim(?), nervousness/anxiety briefly mentioned, sweet sweet gepard using pet names, no use of Y/N (No beta, we die like men)

Gepard, somehow, ended up between your legs every single time he came over to your house. No matter what, he always found a way to get between your thighs.

You never found yourself complaining, not really. You may have had work you were supposed to be doing at some point, but Gepard’s skilled tongue was unmatched leaving you lying in bed, on the floor, sometimes on the table…

There was one thing the two of you had not tried though… Face Sitting.

“Baby,” Gepard kissed your thighs and gave them a reassuring squeeze. “I promise, there is no reason to be nervous!”

You were trembling for whatever reason. Hands gripped the headboard and your eyes were glued on the wall. Your legs were growing sore as you hed yourself above Gepard’s face. You inhaled sharply and exhaled slightly slower, calming yourself.

“We don’t have to-” Gepard started.

“No! No…” You smiled down at him as your knuckles began to turn white. “I’m just- I don’t want you to not be able to breathe…”

“Oh- My love, I promise I will be just fine. Now, you’re dripping wet and I’m aching for you to sit down.”

You nodded. “Okay, I trust you.”

Gepard gave you a toothy grin causing you to loosen up slightly. Your grip loosened on the wooden headboard and you slowly lowered yourself onto Gepard’s face. His eyes shut and his tongue darted out of his mouth. He was quickly lapping you up, and your legs tensed again. Gepard could feel you weren’t sitting all the way down and he gently pulled you further down.

Your legs were completely bent and you were sitting awkwardly for a moment. Before realizing just how good it felt. Gepard’s expert tongue was quick to bring you back to reality and help the nerves go away.

Your back arched and you bit your lip. Your hips rocked forward, and Gepard’s nose bumped your clit. You felt a wave of electricity shoot through you. You gasped and Gepard smiled against you.

“Fuck, Gepard-” Your grip was tightening on the headboard again. Your hips rocked again and Gepard continued licking stripes up your pussy. His tongue found your clit and swirled circles around it.

You had both picked a pace and stuck with it. You were rocking and bucking against him and Gepard did not even seem to need to breathe. You were amazed. You were reaching your first orgasm and fast.

“I think-” You moaned out the words and let out a soft whine, “I’m close-”

Gepard understood. He did not stop for anything. If anything, he picked up the pace. His fingers stroked your left thigh and he pulled you closer. The close proximity only made your stomach turn even more.

He began to suck on your clit and your eyes screwed shut. Your legs tensed around Gepard’s face but he kept going. A loud cry escaped you, and for a brief moment, you were sure you were going to break the headboard. Your body tensed and your toes curled. Gepard still did not stop. Not yet.

When it became too much, you scooted back slightly, and Gepard let you go. You sat on his bare chest and let out a soft whine. “Gepard… Fuck…”

“Are you alright?” Gepard was practically licking his lips, “Was that too much?”

“No!” You put your hands up, “That was- I could um-” You rocked on his chest and bit the inside of your lip, “I kinda wanna do that again.”

Gepard gave you a wide smile and grabbed your thighs once more, and was easily able to pick you up, “Perfect! Because I’m nowhere near done-”

[theunhingedwriter]

Stylist.

Pairing: seungmin x afab reader

Rating: M/18 +

Genre: smut, slight bit of angst it’s sprinkled through out the story.

Warnings: work room harassment, smut, 18+, MINORS DNI, bullying, dick sucking, being called toy, tiny bit of over stim, hair pulling, degrading, praise,

” I don’t take to kindly to you avoiding me.” He mumbled into your ear as he stalked towards you,

” I’ve been busy with the comeback, hyunjin solo, Felix’s trip, you’ve literally had to do everything, be everywhere all at oneself. You’ve had so much to do and you’re so stressed. All you wanted was a break but you knew better than to complain to seungmin,

” I’m sorry…w-what can I do to make you forgive me?” You asked softly as he gives you a smug grin, he leans his elbows against the wall behind you both as he traps you between his body and arms,” you already know what to do.” He says before moving away from you as he struts out the room, your wobbly knees finally give out on you and make you hit the ground,

”why…why me?” You mumbled

While your head dropped onto your knees.

***

Later that day seungmin called you into his hotel room, hyunjin was out having dinner with his sponsors and wouldn’t be back for a few hours into the early morning you knew that any way because you had to dress him but seungmin still recited it to you.

“ come.” He tells you while staring you down.

His eyes haven’t left yours since the moment you stepped foot into the room. Locking the door behind yourself. He started to grow impatient from your sluggish walking,

“ I don’t have time for you to be taking things slow.” He said through his teeth, you picked up the pace and immediately sat down at his feet, while staring at his feet,

” look at me.“ he growled.

He sat back, undoing his pants and freeing his erection. He was huge, and extremely girthy. He forced you up by your hair and put you in front of it.

“If you keep acting dumb with me I won’t hesitate to treat you like such, do you understand?” He said through his teeth.

putting your hands between your thighs to keep from pushing him away, it would make him mad and you wanted this over as fats as possible. A small whimpered started to form in your throat but you kept it at bay.

As you stare into his eyes tears started to form in your own, you hated this the most out of anything he makes you do, the burn in your throat and the way the head of his cock pokes and rubs against your throat hurt so bad, but…as much as you hated to admit it… you’ve grown to like it.

 “If you want to get anything you better start acting like a good fuckthing.” He growled pushing your face into his cock.

Shakily opening your mouth, he pushed himself into your mouth as his head slammed into the back of your throat. Immediately you jumped back pulling your head away, gaging a bit from the sudden intrusion. Seungmin rolled his eyes glared back at you and yanked you up, pushing you roughly against the bed, holding you in place.  

“ Are you trying to testing my patience on purpose.” He says, looking down at you. You body started to shake a bit as you feel the flushed

“If you’re gonna act like a bitch, I don’t mind treating you like one.” He says through his teeth.

“good toy” seungmin murmurs

“ that’s it…” his gaze falling to his monitor as he hits record making sure to slide closer to the desk so no one could see your head.

“HIIII EVERYONE !!” He said in that cheery tone that made you feel sick to your stomach.

Sigh.

***

After an hour his gaze started to flip between the recording video on his phone and your pretty face, prettier than 1080p could ever preserve. your hand spelt stroking what your mouth can’t take, blush colored lips weapped around his thick cock like you’re a perfect fit, pretty thing you were… you always looks best on your knees. Seeing you trying so genuinely to make him feel good, it’s cute. god, is he big, warm wet saliva left as your head bobs on his length, trying to take him as deep as you can, touching the back of your throat. You had spit and cum falling down your throat and his thighs, you were so surprised he hadn’t made a noise yet. He lets out a tiny moan and made it transition smoothly into sigh.

” well—…goodnight everyone!! I love you stays so much!” He purred as he ends the live. He immediately yanks your head back and pushes his chair back.

“Up.” Was all he said tilting his head towards the bed.

Fucking finally…

.

.

.

.

.

Thank you so much for reading I appreciate it so so much!! What ever you pick leave a comment so we can chat a bit especially if you need a hug!!

[baby--charchar]

Baby Vaggie and Autism!

Cw: description of a meltdown, based on my own experiences having them. Absolutely okay if anyone needs to skip this.

So it goes without saying that Vaggie is straight up autistic, not just autistic when she's regressed. However, Big Vaggie had been trained to SEVERELY mask as an exorcist, where there was no tolerance for burnout, sensory issues, or social fatigue. It probably crossed the lines into straight up abuse multiple times.

In Hell, she still tries to keep up that mask. Her urge to protect Charlie and her team leads her to giving herself no leeway to accommodate herself. I think that while she overall thrives with her newfound family, her constant masking is still tearing her apart. She likely had many shut-downs that others misinterpreted as her just being moody.

Learning to unmask probably began as it's own process apart from regression. But I feel that they likely converged after one major meltdown. Vaggie felt like a pressure cooker about to explode with everything going on, then something relatively small happened to break the camel's back so to speak. One minute she's silent on the couch in the lobby, filling out legal paperwork, then the next she's screaming her lungs out and flipping the table.

I imagine her meltdowns as rare but SEVERE. Lots of screaming, hyperventilating, pacing around the room, banging her head, and biting herself. Months and months of that pressure releasing in one instantaneous explosion.

Charlie would be so scared and wouldn't know what to do. She just wants to hold Vaggie, but every time she tries, Vaggie just panics more.

Lucifer doesn't REALLY have experience with this, but he has strong "papa bear" instincts for both of his girls. He lets Vaggie ride it out just until she's no longer being unsafe. After which he places his hands on her shoulders and gently guides her towards the elevator. He keeps repeating, "You're safe, you're okay. We're going to your room. We're gonna rest." She's still sobbing, but she starts to untense the more he assures her.

Once they're home, Vaggie is still overwhelmed but is doing better. She wants Charlie's touch and is squeezing her HARD, mustering up as much deep pressure as she can. Lucifer gets her some water in a sippy cup (sensing where Vaggie is headed) and it helps.

By the time she's recovered, she is VERY deep into baby space. Enough to where she's struggling to sit up and walk on her own. Lucifer gets her changed and into her favorite pajamas. It's not long before she slips into sleep.

Moving forward, Charlie and Lucifer try encouraging Vaggie to unmask: find stims she likes, rest more, whatever that means for her to make herself more comfortable. Big Vaggie is naturally resistant, always pushing herself to do more, to BE more for the hotel. But Baby Vaggie? You don't have to tell her twice.

Baby Vaggie feels safe with Charlie and Lucifer. She's finally relaxed enough to follow her own instincts, whether that be how she moves her body, how she gets her point across, or just how she entertains herself.

Vaggie is completely nonverbal, but finds other ways to communicate. She knows that if she screams long enough, someone will come pay attention to her. She really likes that system, so there is LOTS of screaming. They get good at recognizing what different screams mean, like "I want food," "I need to be changed," or just, "I want to spend time with someone."

Charlie makes her a small communication card and keeps it clipped to a lanyard that Vaggie can wear. It has all her favorite foods, toys, and people, for when she really needs to be specific.

She also keeps a large chewie on that lanyard. Without it, Vaggie's prone to putting nearly anything in her mouth, be it her clothes, blankets, crayons, whatever. All her shirts have tiny little holes from her gnawing.

Vaggie has lots of sensory needs. Some of them, like food and smells, she's very restrictive about. She has very few foods she'll eat in her headspace, and abhors any lotions or powders on her skin.

For other senses, she just can't get enough of them. As a former soldier who was VERY active, her body's used to heavy input to her muscular and balance systems (proprioception and vestibular). This honestly scared Lucifer at first because she would do some very unsafe things to soothe her body, like running into walls at full speed or climbing up on the kitchen counters. It took him a long time to realize what the hell she was doing, let alone how he could help her.

But once he got it, he got it. He set up so many "sensory stations" for her in both his room as well as Vaggie's. She's got trampolines, a crash pad, a swing attached to the ceiling, and a baby bouncer custom built for her. She can have SO much energy and often ends up running between all four of these when she's regressed.

It's important to note that she's on trampoline #4. Numbers 1-3 were just no match for her boundless energy.

Side note: that boundless energy may also come at night, as Vaggie has a hard time regulating her sleep. Lucifer is such a Bewildered Dad over her, but their late nights have made way for good bonding time. Vaggie honestly feels just as safe with Lucifer as she does Charlie. Her little family.

Vaggie can be very repetitive with what she enjoys, especially TV or music. She can play the same 3-second clip over and over again and bust out laughing every time.

Vaggie also loves COLORS. Her blocks are her favorite toy because of just how many beautiful colors they come in. Pastels, primaries, jewel tones, you name it. She loves sorting them by color, shade, tones, etc.

Baby Vaggie is a huge fan of messy play. Charlie loves playing in the sandbox or pool with her, and splashing is so mesmerizing to her. She also loves just getting into things, like makeup, slime, food, shower gels, whatever. She can absolutely DEMOLISH a room.

But that comes with the stipulation that she gets to be clean after! The jetted tub in their room is her favorite place to be after a long day being big or little! She just has to be watched very closely by someone so she can stay safe (and of course, NOT destroy the bathroom).

Because being little is the only time Vaggie seems to not want to suppress herself, Charlie encourages her to regress often. She loves Baby Vaggie! And Vaggie always seems so much more content after a couple of hours in babyspace. It's just a good balance, and it's a system that works for them!

[autisticlifelessons]

Tips for Autistic Students

I managed to get really good grades both at school and university, but it involved a LOT of emotional anguish. I had this reputation of being really smart and nerdy, but the truth was I had to put in an almost inhumane amount of effort in order to sustain my grades. I lost perspective and sacrificed other aspects of my life - such as building friendships and having experiences - that I'm still catching up with, now.

If I had to do it all again, knowing I'm autistic, there are definitely some things I would change that would have made my life as a student so much more enjoyable. Read on to learn from my mistakes!

Spend time going over the things you aren't so sure on - I wasted a lot of time reading over and over stuff that I could recite off by heart, but to be honest I don't think it made one iota of difference to my grades. I tended to avoid the scary stuff I was struggling with, but with hindsight this would have been a much more productive use of my time. Identify the areas you know you are weaker in, and focus on plugging those gaps in your knowledge rather than aimlessly wading through course materials.

Look after yourself - it's all too easy when you're looking to get good grades to totally overwork yourself. But this can actually be counterproductive as when you are tired/stressed you are actually more likely to make mistakes and underperform. Try making a studying timetable for yourself, and make sure it has a cut off point so you know when to stop. Trust me - grades are not worth burning yourself out over.

Give yourself plenty of time to complete assignments/study for tests and exams - it's very common to hear other people on your course bragging about how the started a essay 2 hours before the deadline and still got an A, but don't listen to them. More than likely they're lying or at least exaggerating, but they are also NOT you. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For most autistic people - even those with executive function issues who are prone to procrastination - having to do things last minute can lead to overwhelm and burnout. A neurotypical person may be able to handle this approach, but for neurodivergent people this strategy could lead to a fallout period where you would need to recover. Starting ahead of time will allow you to pace yourself and ensure you have the chance to ask for help or clarification if necessary.

Try and make a few friends in every class - socialising often doesn't come easy to autistic people, but I promise going to class is much more bearable if you have a least one friendly face to look forward to seeing. Statistically speaking there is a really good chance there is someone else who is neurodivergent, and you likely can relate to each other's experiences more than a neurotypical person's. It also gives you people to arrange to hang out with outside of class, which is how friendships are built and sustained. Just a simple 'good morning' or complimenting someone on their clothes is enough to begin building a rapport.

Pay attention to your sensory needs - it's much easier to concentrate and take in information if you are comfortable. If the sun is in your eyes or if your desk is wobbly, ask if you can switch seats. If having a stim toy in your hand helps you concentrate, do what you need to do to get permisson to use one. Advocating for yourself can be scary, but it makes such a difference to your experience.

Did you find my tips helpful? Let me know!

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

God, I enjoyed your explanation so much, I had to get up and pace so many times as a happy stim. Like, genuinely, I haven't read homestuck in a long while, so it's like someone grabbed the broken goggles off my head nd replaced it with fresh high tech glasses that revealed so much more. It makes me wish I could see more of what could've been, if the project was given space, respect and time. I'll admit, I brushed Eridan off when I first read it, and why he's still not my complete favorite, I do appreciate him and his role more. I'd happily read whatever other discussions you being to the table, I love being given good food for thought. Are these analysis' more a spur of a moment thing or planned? If planned, do you have anything else you want to go over?

i mostly just ramble about whatever i happen to be thinking about!

no real plans, except a vague one to eventually talk about every troll, haha.

ive been toying with the idea of doing my dumb retcon fanfic in the form of a semi-interactive discord server. like, the divergence point would be that after game over, roxy accepts a deal with nyx to die but have her memories transferred over to her past dreamself, which wakes up early, and so she starts a "dicsord" server so she can keep in contact with calliope through an early blackout (since her voidy blackouts are tied to her sobriety, and she gets sober much earlier), and then it . devolves from there. semi-interactive in that it'll be rigged up to hell and back with bots and reactions that grant access to new channels, haha.

[specialagentlokitty]

Hotch x male!reader - get the date

Could I please get an autistic male!reader x Hotch where the reader is terrible at picking up on social cues and has no idea that Hotch likes him. He thinks he’s too weird and stims too much/ strangely for anyone to really have an interest in him romantically but also has a crush on Hotch. But then Emily & JJ get fed up of Hotch’s pining and step in to help the reader understand that some of the kind gestures Hotch has been doing have been Hotch’s way of flirting and a very embarrassed reader asks Hotch out for dinner? - @the-imitation-blog 💜

You had no clue why the two women has asked to come over to your apartment, but you weren’t opposed to having them around, so as you let them in you gestured to the place

“Make yourselves at home.”

“Thanks (Y/N).” Emily smiled.

“We got some food too.” JJ beamed.

You nodded and closed the door, tapping against your side as you followed them to the couch and sat down.

“We wanted to talk about something.” JJ said.

You titled your head a little in confusion.

“Hotch.” Emily grinned.

“What about Hotch?” You asked.

The two woman laughed a little as they looked at you, and you tapped your hand against your knee as you looked at them.

“Have you ever been on a date before?” Emily asked.

“I’ve been on a few. They don’t go very well. What does this have to do with Hotch?”

“He’s been flirting with you.” JJ smiled.

You cocked your head to the side again.

“No he hasn’t. He’s just nice to me.”

“We’ve been watching, he’s definitely flirting with you.”

They handed you some of the food, and you bounced up and down in your seat as you took it to start eat at it.

“He’s nice to you, yeah. But Hotch is nice to you in a different way. He brings you your favourite food, takes you home when it’s late, he covers you with his blazer when you’re asleep.” Emily explained.

They began explain to you very carefully how what Hotch did with you was different with what he would do with anyone else.

You listened carefully to what they were saying and you finally started to understand what they meant.

“So… he’s flirting with me?”

“Yup!” Emily beamed.

You nodded your head.

“Why are you telling me?”

“Because as cute as it is to see Hotch flirt and you be completely oblivious, we thought maybe you just didn’t understand what was going on. We know you’ve explained you struggle with social cues.” JJ smiled.

“We also know you’re crushing on the boss man.” Emily smirked.

You quickly looked away in embarrassment.

“I am not..”

“Oh you totally are, and he feels the same! You can ask him out!” JJ grinned.

“I… don’t know how to do that..”

The two woman shared a look and quickly jumped in to help you.

They helped you research date ideas, things both you and Hotch would enjoy to do, quiet things for the first date.

Then they explained all the different ways you could go about asking out your boss, from grand gestures to something quiet and just for the two of you.

You were more comfortable with that idea, and they helped you come up with a game plan and decided they would help you pull it off.

And when it came to the day you found yourself really nervous as you stood in his office waiting for him to come in.

You clasped and unclasped your hands together, pacing back and forth a few steps even when the door was opened and closed.

“Is everything okay (Y/N)? JJ and Prentiss told me you needed to talk to me.”

You nodded your head and carried on pacing and Hotch frowned.

Walking over he placed his hands on your shoulders to stop you and you looked up at him before moving your gaze away from him.

The whole plan had just fallen out of your head so you had to wing it.

“I.. don’t understand social cues.” You said.

Hotch nodded his head.

“I know, and that’s okay.”

“I stim a lot, it annoys a lot of people but it doesn’t seem to annoy the team, or you. I think I am weird.”

You bounced on the balls of your feet as you explained.

“I have always been told I’m weird, but you don’t treat me like I am weird. You’re nice to me.”

“You’re not weird, you’re who you are, and everything from stimming to your good days and your bad days is what makes you who you are.”

Hotch looked at you with a soft look in his eyes and you quickly looked away again.

“JJ and Emily have been teaching me things.”

“Oh?”

You stopped back out of his grasp, and you looked around his office, trying to do anything to avoid looking at him.

“I want you to come on a date with me.”

Hotch blinked in shock.

“A date?” He asked.

“Yes. I know a nice park with not many people.”

You looked at him and you started to wonder if you made a mistake when he didn’t reply straight away.

Hotch smiled.

“I’d love to go on a date with you.”

You smiled, still stimming as you nodded your head and walked over to his door.

“Okay.”

With that you left and you quickly ran away and he stood there confused.

“What was that about?” Rossi asked.

“He asked me on a date.” Hotch smiled.

“About time! When is it?”

Hotch looked at his best friend and went back to watching JJ and Emily as they tried to chase you around the office.

“I’m.. not sure. He ran away before I could ask.”

Rossi chuckled and smiled, watching you.

“I’m sure he’ll tell you.”

Hotch nodded his head and went back into his office with a happy smile on his face.

He had the date, he just needed to know when the date was and actually go on the date with you, but he would ask when you had calmed down a little bit

[that-disabled-princess]

Prompt from @hoothalcyon: "the stages of runaan opening up to ethari enough to start to unmask"

The quickest way to a man's heart is infodumping.

Tags: neurodivergent ruthari, disabled ruthari, getting together, first dates, infodumping, tiny bit of angst

~~

Ethari said yes to a date with him. Ethari Ethari. The craftsman apprentice. 

Runaan paces his bedroom as he chooses his outfit, a pile of discarded clothes slowly growing on his bed.

Style over comfort, wouldn’t want to make a bad impression. The knee support sleeve will do today instead of the brace. Don’t forget your compression gloves.

Don’t stim. Keep your hands still when talking. Be polite. Make eye contact. Watch your tone; Lain is always reminding you of that one.

Lain was the one who introduced Runaan to Ethari in the first place. He and Tiadrin knew him from a project they did together, and invited him into their friend group. Runaan was wary of the change, but his friends said nothing but good things about Ethari, so Runaan was willing to give the change a try.

And now they’re going on an actual date.

He doesn’t know enough about Ethari to feel comfortable unmasking. So far, they only interact when Runaan goes to him for weapons, or when Ethari comes down to the training field to make notes.

Don’t fidget with your cane. And whatever you do, do not infodump.

Taking a deep breath, Runaan pulls on the clothes he’s decided on—a long-sleeve blue crop top and pants with thigh slits—and throws open his door. 

He grabs his cane and bag, and leaves for his date.

~

The date is going well. Runaan smiles and nods as Ethari talks about his work, interjecting in all the right places. He can’t talk about his work. Ethari wouldn’t stay if he remembered he could lose Runaan at any moment. If he realized he would have to risk heartbreak every day.

Besides, murder isn’t exactly a romantic first date topic.

Ethari laughs at something Runaan says about magical gems, and Runaan smiles, subconsciously wiggling his hips a little.

“What’s your favorite type of gem to work with?”

“Oh, how could I pick? They’re all so good for different things and have so many different uses! Some are better for weaponry” —Ethari winks at Runaan, who blushes— “others are better for home items, and others still are good for adding something extra to jewelry! And that’s not to mention their magical properties! My favorite would have to be ocean aquamarines, though; they’re harder to come by around here, but produce the most beautiful magic. Moon and ocean magic work so well together—I mean, the moon and the ocean themselves work in harmony! I’d love to get my hands on a rock from the moon one day...”

Runaan is full-on stimming now, rocking back and forth, recognizing this as infodumping.

Moon, that’s attractive.

“What would you do with a moon rock?”

“I would compare it to a moon opal and see how it reacts with it. And see how my arcanum reacts to it, that would be fascinating! If we can connect to the moon when it’s thousands of miles away, imagine how we would react if we had a piece of it right here with us! Imagine the magical properties!”

Ethari pauses, struggling to catch his breath. He’s breathing heavily as he reaches into his bag for what Runaan recognizes as something that helps check your heart rate.

He isn’t the only one with an emergency medical bag.

For the first time, Runaan also notices the cane resting by Ethari’s feet.

All the revelations about Ethari today make Runaan feel more comfortable. He relaxes as he realizes that Ethari is just like him.

~

They drag out the walk back to Runaan’s place as long as their bodies let them, Runaan infodumping about moonstriders.

They’re holding hands. Runaan’s heart flutters every time Ethari runs his thumb along the back of his hand. 

“Moonstriders are amazing creatures, aren’t they?”

“They are! And they’re fiercely loyal once you bond with them.”

Runaan blinks when he realizes they’ve reached his house. He turns to Ethari. 

“Thank you for walking me home. I would love to do this again.”

“Me too! Same time next week?”

Runaan smiles. “Sure.”

He rocks back and forth, unable to express what he wants. He’s not even sure what he wants.

Ethari lets go of Runaan’s hand and raises his hand to Runaan’s face, watching him for any sign of hesitation.

“Can I kiss you?”

Runaan answers by leaning in, Ethari meeting him halfway as Runaan slides his arm around Ethari’s waist. Their canes clink together, and Runaan drops his to bring his second hand up to Ethari’s neck.

It’s a chaste kiss, soft. Runaan moans softly when Ethari’s thumb brushes his ear.

Runaan only draws back when Ethari starts swaying where he stands.

“Are you alright?”

“Um...” His eyes are unfocused as he brings his hand from Runaan’s cheek to his temple. “I... need to sit down.”

“Come inside. I’ll make you something to eat.”

“Okay.”

Runaan picks up his cane and unlocks his front door, letting Ethari in.

[solarsleepless]

hello all

basically, i'm going to be watching bsc episodes and listing down the autistic traits i see in kristy. i may have a bonus part for the other girls but i'm mainly going to be focusing on kristy as she is my favourite.

without further ado, let's do this

Episode 1

right off the bat we get the line "I was doing the most talking, as per usual." autistic people have a tendency to dominate conversations or to "monologue"

also, mary anne is kristy's only friend at the very beginning. most autistic people find it challenging to make any new friends, both due to any communicative issues and because they don't want to change up their routine. kristy is clearly just fine with having only mary anne as a friend, which is shown in later episodes

"it was boiling in there, like surface of venus levels hot and he just kept droning on and on" autistic people are wayyy more prone to sensory issues than most other people, and that can include temperature, especially if they start sweating, which for many people causes sensory distress. autistic people also find it hard to concentrate for a myriad of possible reasons, including filtering out information our brains deem 'irrelevant' even if they're not

"If he was such a genius, why didn't he say all people?" autistic people tend to have a strong sense of justice and a black and white view of things, having very clear ideas of what is right and wrong in their head. yes, kristy's a feminist, but her willingness to correct him without a care for manners reads as autistic to me

"except apparently, i raised my voice, and didn't raise my hand." manners, even well remembered ones like raising your hand, can sometimes be forgotten by autistic people if it's something they're passionate about: in this case, kristy's need for correction and fairness overrode that

"[the boys in the back are] wiping sweat on each other, but somehow, i'm the disruptive one" autism in AFABs is often seen as being rude or disruptive despite them often just being passionate about the subject. also, sensory issues again?

"claudia and mary anne and i used to hang out all the time. but that was before claudia decided she was more into boys and clothes than us." another example of how kristy has had very few people in life she considers friends and has stuck with them for most of her life. also, possible rejection sensitive dysphoria made kristy see it as bigger than it actually is, because they seem to be fine when they interact, like nothing happened

in the next scene, we see kristy helping david michael with a puzzle. puzzles are often enjoyed by autistic people due to being structured, logical, visual and with a clear end, all of which are treasured aspects of things for autistic people.

stimming!!! lots of stimming. when explaining her new concept which she has clearly quickly hyperfixated on, we see her pacing and fidgeting with her hands as well as gesturing. also, having a strong moral code and wanting to put in effort for kids to be happy

she seems pretty startled when stacey appears, and is a little upset when it's obvious claudia has told her about the club idea: autistic people find it hard to find their footing after their expectations of how something would go are thrown off, but kristy's new hyperfixation overrules this change of plans

even though her need to infodump and talk about this new idea made her not lose her cool, she's visibly still unsure when stacey suggests things. even afterwards, she tries to... "villainize" feels to strong a word, but tries to make reasons for why she disliked her even though it's obvious she was just taken off guard

"maybe new people weren't an invading force to be repelled at all costs" here we get to see how much kristy detests change—even when it's beneficial, she'd rather stick with one or two friends. pay special attention to the wording: "at all costs". kristy will always try and evade change

another sign of her intolerance for change is how much she just dislikes watson, even though he seems like a nice guy. she doesn't want to accept that he is going to a fixture in their lives because it will mean that her family will change a lot, at least in her view (though i will say she has a lot of abandonment issues and trauma from her dad leaving her which shifts her perception on any guy her mom dates)

also from here on out i think we can see a clear hyperfixation on business and law, judging by her attitude and comments later on about the club

this whole dinner scene just feels very autistic to me: she takes what her mother says about "feeling okay about it" very literally and bulldozes any attempt of conversation. she is not okay about the idea of her mother marrying watson and she doesn't understand the social cue of her being more gentle about it. she genuinely doesn't understand why her mom would ask about it if she, in kristy's perspective, was not going to listen to her, when kristy is the one not listening to her over a misunderstanding.

this might be more of a me thing, but kristy trying to send her mom an email to apologize just feels really autistic to me, as it resonates hard with me and what i've done in the past. i used to leave messages in google translate for my parents to apologize. idk but its worth looking at

"i'm bossy, get used to it" shows that not only is she fairly controlling, but she's also aware of this fact. i couldn't find much research on this, but many autistic people are bossy or controlling so they know what to expect and so that things go exactly to plan.

kristy's lack of tact and sense with the phone. just. that.

claudia remarks that she's starting to remember why she stopped hanging out with kristy so much—because she's controlling and "bossy". this is partially due to feeling like everything that happened with her dad was out of her control and so it intensified the shittier he became, combined with that, autistic people can tend to come off as too much. also, rejection sensitive dysphoria—stares off into the distance and doesn't talk.

autistic people tend to be very trusting of others, taking lots of what they say at face value, and struggling to comprehend why someone would lie to them. despite only knowing stacey for a short amount of time and not even completely liking her, she's devastated when it turns out stacey was lying to them.

"this whole situation has spiralled out of my control, and that's a feeling i really, really hate." same points that have been made above—absolute control over what happens when they're involved is a big thing for autistics so they know completely what's going on. add on her trauma about her absent father, and it makes sense why she acts the way she does.

more about the trust!! she trusts stacey to not only know about her hyperfixation but also to be directly involved in it—that's a really big deal for us autistics!! it means we Trust you!!

more hammering in about kristy's control issues. i'm glad i've only seen One (1) fic demonizing her for it but at the same time that's one too many

kristy being just. so blunt. i love her. "you're controlling my THOUGHTS now?" "yes." a lot of autistic people don't see any reason to not be honest most of the time.

is just. dead serious about the "i should resign before i'm impeached".

more bluntness!! "when mary anne gets scared at something you think is silly, do you make fun of her and call her a baby?" "yeah, sometimes." "oh. but you're still her best friend, right?" "yes." but also, bluntness isn't always a bad thing. kristy just casually throws in the "i love you" because she thinks it at that moment and means it, so she sees no reason not to say it because it's true.

more finding it easier to say stuff like "thank you" over text than in person, just like the "i'm sorry" earlier

additional notes:

mary anne is autistic too!! we see her stimming, though, stroking the end of her braid during her convo abt the club with stacey, kristy and claudia. also her just letting kristy speak a lot feels autistic but idk how to explain it. also, she's good with visual organization, such as keeping things orderly in a google docs and writing minutes. i feel like she'd rather her do it than anyone else, that way she can help the club and make it easier for her to concentrate on the club itself. also, stacey and even claudia, her childhood best friend, both remark that she doesn't speak a lot. she definitely isn't nonverbal, but she absolutely lets people talk over hers and seems to find it more comfortable to not speak, at least early on. i could only find stuff for nonspeaking and nonverbal autistics, but i've had several periods where it wasn't uncomfortable to speak, but i was much more comfortable not speaking, which i think might be the case for mary anne, though it could be a mark of her simply not knowing what to add.

claudia CLEARLY has adhd!! she doodles and fidgets a lot, and many adhders turn out to be artists due to their creativity and excess energy that they expel via doodling. she draws on her shoes, and the teacher remarks that she "wouldn't want another failed quiz on your average", indicating her struggle with school, which we see even more of in the coming episodes, and people with adhd tend to have poor academic perfomance, mainly for their struggle with executive dysfunction skills.

claudia also spells "prety grate" instead of "pretty great" in her email to kristy. judging by this and later scenes in the series, it's possible she has dyslexia and/or dyscalculia, which has been reported to more or less have a 25% comorbidity with adhd

janine is also pretty obviously autistic-coded; her room is very dimly lit, she hardly ever leaves it, has flat affect, doesn't pick up much on claudia's social cues, has a special interest in computer and tech and whatnot, has a very extensive vocabulary, and butts in on conversations with her advice without asking before leaving after they get what she's saying

and that's it for episode 1 !!!! tell me what you think, and i'll see you all with part 2 very soon :)

[simp999]

Misunderstandings- Robot Medic (MediBot) x Reader Drabble

Wc: 370

Themes: Fluff

A/N: Okay fine I give in I'll post it.

Pillbug, this is all your fault for making my comfort character one with basically no existing fanfics

A/N 2: Speaking of, Medibot's personality is entirely based off of how @physically-robotic-medic roleplays as him. Thank you Pillbug

A/N 3: This was meant to be read as platonic because that's the only way I can see Medibot but do whatever you want (shrug)

Masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Are you alright? Worried!!"

You tilt your head to look up at Medibot, wondering what could possibly have him worried.

"Yeah, I'm all good." You turn your eyes back to the screen ahead.

"...I am not reassured."

You were lying down on a pillow placed atop where Medibot's lap would be- if he had one. You were introducing him to an animated movie. A studio Ghibli movie, in fact; it seemed right up his alley, and he had seemed to be enjoying it- up until his last comment.

You tear your eyes from the screen once again.

"I've seriously got no idea what you're talking about, what makes you think I'm-"

"-Your heartbeat. It is beating at an unusual pace."

You sat stunned for a moment. You shouldn't be too surprised that the Medic Robot had noticed of all people- but you didn't figure it was that big of a deal.

"Apologies for interrupting you-"

there was slight guilt in his voice, which quickly turned to panic with his next phrase:

"It is only getting faster! I believe you need medical attention!!"

Then, it clicked.

"Ah.." You kept your composure, which calmed him… until your cheeks started tinting pink out of embarrassment, another sign of possible sickness, to Medibot. He was quick to address this:

"You are sick!! Panicked!! You are in need of-"

You quickly sat up and paused the movie, facing Medibot and asking for him to calm down and give you his full attention.

"Hey, I'm completely alright. It's just… a weird thing that human bodies do sometimes."

"Why would sickness symptoms show when there is no sickness? Confused!!"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek for a moment. How could you explain this?

"It's- it just means that I enjoy being around you, is all. You bring me joy."

You could have sworn he blue screened for a moment before tapping his hands together, a nervous stim of his that you've noticed.

"Ah. Human heartbeats quicken when excited, if I remember correctly. Is it the same thing? Curious!!"

"...Yeah, basically."

You let out a relieved sigh. He didn't have to learn about complicated human feelings just yet- all he had to know was that you two were friends, and you enjoyed hanging out.

Sep.7.23