#i hate feeling left without a support network and

[waepenwifestre]

Let's Talk About Security Culture: Why Keeping Secrets is Cool and Sexy

It's a natural impulse -- if you love crime -- to want to talk about how great it is. And if you hate America, it's only natural to want to share your dreams for its future with the rest of tumblr dot com. It can feel brave and transgressive. And there is a drive to share your soul with the world at the heart of social media. Surely I should be posting the most concrete implications of my politics, right? This is the poster's curse.

Security Culture refers to a set of "best practices" developed over the past several decades, largely (in a US context) coming out of radical environmental groups as they faced intense state repression, infiltration and entrapment. If you're not familiar, there's some fascinating crimethinc write ups to give you a window into that world:

Much of it boils down to: don't talk about crimes, past or forthcoming with people who don't need to know about them, and be mindful of the possibility of surveillance and infiltration. And, we can support each other as a community in minimizing risks, with an eye towards enabling bold action rather than getting bogged down in fears and anxieties. The guidelines that make sense for AG-based trouble-makers are different from the guidelines that make sense for posters, but plenty of common principles apply. To speak briefly to our position here as posters:

First, it bears saying that long term anonymity is nearly impossible to maintain. Unless you've never accessed Tumblr without a vpn, and avoided connections with other ppl who can be associated with you/your location, and never shared pictures without scrubbing metadata, and a bunch of other 100% consistent steps, it's trivial for the state to know who you are.

Second, just because something isn't actively being prosecuted now doesn't mean it can't be prosecuted later. The priorities of the state change and a shift in power towards the right or a growth in radical action from the left can suddenly make it a priority to destroy anarchist networks or just find a few ppl to prosecute as examples (who probably weren't that plugged into larger networks before getting arrested). Advocating for specific anti-government crimes or declarations of intent to commit such crimes are likely prosecutable, and even if charges don't stick, they're an easy vector for legal harassment.

Third, it's worth thinking about heat as separate from prosecutability. There are modes of engagement that may not be directly criminalized but signal that you are someone worth watching. Some people choose to be public in ways that make heat unavoidable. But it's worth noting that heat isn't strictly individualized, that it persists over time but also is going to shrink over time.

It's easy on here, ime, to see yourself as a proud member of the crime fandom but not much of a content creator. And it's easy to feel like you've generated an amount of heat where you're locked into that role. But heat you generated 10 years ago is probably pretty well gone. Heat you generated 5 years ago has faded substantially. It's worth thinking about how the world might shift in the coming years and what doors you want to keep open.

The non-individualized nature of heat also means that leaning into the spiciest of anti-state positions will make it a bad idea for people who are acting out those positions end up tied to you. Loudly talking about how "more people should be doing [X/Y/Z]" unfortunately sets you up to remain distant from people who might be doing or thinking about doing such things.

Which brings me back to: keeping secrets is sexy. Not spelling everything out builds intrigue. You can lay out a theoretical position and leave working out the practical implications of that as an exercise for the reader. There's value in opacity. The poster's curse and the drive to confess are extremely convenient for the state, but we can resist them. We can hold dreams in our hearts that we refuse to offer up to the posting spectacle.

[drunkkenobi]

Hi bb, ty for the prompt to write my thoughts!

So I can't get on tumblr at work anymore unless I go outside to get good signal on my phone so I have only been privy to what's going on here today from friends on discord. So maybe I'm missing some nuance or the what my mutuals think and I apologize in advance for that but I'm going to speak plainly.

This is the only way Watcher is going to survive.

The view counts have been steady through Mystery Files season 2 but they aren't, like, astronomical. A video with a million views nets a channel between $10,000 - $30,000. Guys. That's nothing for Watcher. They have to pay each of their 25+ employees a salary with insurance and benefits and for everything else their channel requires. Steven said in the video today that a season of Ghost Files costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don't think everyone is hearing that part and understanding how much money that is, especially compared to many other YouTubers they watch. I'm not an expert on other YouTubers but I look at the Sims people I watch. They are successful with views in the hundred k range because they are a company of one. Themselves and maybe paying a freelancer to help edit their videos. For one person, the stakes are lower and the potential for profit is higher! Especially for gamers that are filming in their homes. YouTubers like this, making niche content on the cheap, are who is going to make it in YouTube now.

Watcher is none of those things. They have, from day one, wanted to make high quality unscripted content. All of their shows are shows. They aren't just "Ryan and Shane do [thing]" or "Steven eats [whatever]". They are shows, like ones you see on cable TV or any streamer. And shows are not cheap. Unscripted is cheaper, sure, than scripted. But that doesn't mean cheap. Especially not with the sheer production value we've seen on all their shows, in particular Ghost Files (hundreds of thousands of dollars). That is how much something like Ghost Adventures costs, which is on Travel Channel, an actual TV network that puts up all those costs.

So. That's why Watcher has to pivot to survive.

I think it's a great idea, personally. And yes, I am in a position where I can financially afford it no problem, which I know is a privilege! I am very lucky in that regard. And I understand that many people are upset they won't see the boys as easily on YouTube anymore. That is valid! But they have openly said they are totally fine with password sharing and I think that's a great way to cut down on costs for some folks. Also right now there's a great deal on the yearly sub for early subscribers. $40 for a year is cheaper than any streaming service and it doesn't go to anyone other than Watcher.

I understand that people feel hurt and blindsided, but I think Watcher is also feeling this too. They have been so excited about this and being able to make whatever they want without having to worry about sponsors and now they're mostly seeing anger directed their way. Especially at Steven. Steven is not rich. You know who's rich? David Zaslav, a man who is single-handedly ruining Warner Brothers and making himself a billionaire while he's at it. THAT is the kind of person we should be directing our anger at streaming prices and quality of the media landscape at. Not one small business that is just trying to survive so they can continue paying their employees.

And one more thing. I've seen folks saying they'd rather watch more ads than pay and while I get that, that's not going to help Watcher make what they want. YouTube famously demonetizes videos with swears which is why I can't watch a video with DRAG QUEENS without every other line being bleeped and Watcher has been so good about not bleeping their content because they know we would hate it. And YouTube does this because of advertisers. Advertisers only want to appeal to the most broad of audiences so that means not supporting anything slightly left of center. Having to deal with ads sucks from the creator perspective and does not help them in the long run.

Anyway, this is all a bit rambling, but these are my thoughts on WatcherTV. I'm extremely excited to subscribe and make them make more Weird Wonderful World. I hope to see you all there.

[avelera]

hi, I hope you don't mind me coming to kind of vent in your inbox (please toss this out if you do) but I was reading your post on the contrasting way Viktor and Jayce view their first meeting and it got me thinking about how some people just sorta brush aside Jayce's suicide attempt here as being somehow pathetic or an overreaction to what they consider a slap on the wrist and I kinda get really mad about that perspective because I don't think people really follow through on what the trial actually meant for Jayce and what the consequences reasonably could have been. people seem to think he was just embarrassed by the trial without understanding that that kind of reputational hit can be, and clearly was, ruinous.

setting aside entirely the emotional/psychological repercussions of having the thing he'd dedicated roughly 2/3's of his life to taken away, his very public trial ended with his own mother making an insanity plea on his behalf and his extremely wealthy and influential sponsor dropping him like he was radioactive and the actual ruling body of the city declaring him dangerously incompetent. do any of those people who deride him for the suicide attempt actually take the time to think about what that outcome means for him in a social and professional context? he jokes to Caitlyn about working in his family factory but honestly, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that the fallout of the trial has made him a social and professional pariah and his reputation is in such dire straits that he may be entirely unemployable within Piltover, perhaps even to the point of being toxic to his own family business if they take the reputation hit by association with him.

it's not actually hyperbole or an overreaction for him to stand in the wreckage of his life and think his life is over, to be at a complete loss as to how to move forward or come to the belief that moving forward is impossible and despair, especially if he doesn't have a support network which he pretty clearly doesn't. his only connections appear to be his mother and Caitlyn and, for obvious reasons, they're not viable at this time.

he was drowning and Viktor threw him a lifeline and he spends the literal rest of the story trying to return the favor.

Sorry for the delay in responding, there's a lot here I want to address.

First of all, I absolutely agree. I think people underestimate just how much that trial left his life in wreckage. That said, there's a few points I'd like to add some nuance to from my perspective, along the lines of YEAH THIS WAS REALLY BAD and people underestimate how much Viktor did for Jayce with his vote of confidence.

(This is gonna be a long post y'all but I have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about Jayce here so buckle up if you do proceed.)

1 ) The Kirammans dropping him as his patrons is absolutely devastating. It's actually the moment I think I hated Cassandra Kiramman for the most, which was turning Jayce away from her door at his lowest point, and cutting him off from Caitlyn, who seems to be his only friend before Viktor. I think it also demonstrates just how severe the crime was that she did so, by the way, I don't think she was just being cruel for the sake of it. But the fact that in 1.04 she's then showing off Jayce as an accomplishment of her house is particularly infuriating as a result. It's also no exaggeration to say that the Kiramman rejection was the final straw for him. After that, he decided to take his own life, so Cassandra would have been, in my opinion, directly responsible for his death (ironically saving her own life down the line, but then Arcane S1 is a series of hinging butterfly effect moments) if not for Viktor.

2 ) One layer of nuance I wanted to add to the Kiramman rejection in particular that you mentioned is the idea of him working at the Talis hammer factory because I think about this a LOT.

I do want to push back a little on the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a living for himself at the Talis hammer factory. To me (as someone whose family has a family business, though I don't work for it), it was never in doubt Jayce would have been able to work there the rest of his life. It might have been the only place he could get a job in Piltover, in fact, at least one with any sort of prestige or intellectual pursuit attached (basically, with anyone attached or graduated from the Academy).

However, I think Jayce would have had to work in a non-scientific part of the factory, either out on the floor or in the back office. And this is what I've been wanting to address in meta for a while now.

Caitlyn asks him what he's going to do next and Jayce says, "Work for the Talis hammer factory, I guess?" and she exclaims, "You can't do that!"

I think the nuance missing from your point that I'd like to add my view of that scene to is that Caitlyn is essentially saying, "That would kill you."

I get the very strong impression that Caitlyn and Jayce bonded over being members of their family who wanted bigger things than what their parents wanted for them. It's basically there on the page in this exchange.

We explore directly that Caitlyn wants to be a detective instead of working in politics like her mother, and pursues her dream despite adversity and her mother's disapproval.

But I think from this exchange and the one Jayce also has with his mother Ximena, we can glean that the Talis's also wanted Jayce to work for the factory, the family business, instead of going to the Academy to pursue his dream of magic.

(Also as a person whose family has a family business, that I don't work for, that has their own career and faced a lot of consternation from my family in my desire to be a writer, I feel this one very keenly.)

Jayce to me reads as someone who had to fight his family all his life to avoid going into the family business, in his pursuit of something greater.

With the Hextech dream taken away, all that's left to him is his family business, the thing I'd argue we have evidence that he's been fighting to avoid his whole life. It doesn't inspire him. It's not what he wants.

Joining the Talis factory would kill him. And that's what Caitlyn points out, and that's when he realizes she's right and goes to finish the job by his own hand instead. Further evidence I would say that working for his family business would represent a death of the soul to him, such that a physical death is preferable. But since his family built the business, and his mother clearly has reservations about his pursuit of magic, I think we can safely say he's been feeling similar pressures to Caitlyn to conform and join the business instead.

3 ) Now to go back to Viktor, I think this is another reason that Viktor literally and spiritually saved Jayce's life. Jayce outright says to his mother that if his own family won't believe in him, he'll find someone who will. Whether you read Viktor/Jayce as platonic or romantic (spouses are family, after all, which is how I read it), Viktor is Jayce's family from that point forward.

But Viktor doesn't bring Jayce back from the brink just by believing in him at his lowest moment (which is so powerful it can't be underestimated, btw) he also gives Jayce a bit of tough love too just when Jayce needs it.

Like many children of privilege (I'd firmly put Mel in this category, since she too is "trapped in the family business" I'd argue), Jayce saw himself at rock bottom after he lost his patron, the benefits of his House name, his family's support, his research, his equipment, access to his one friend, his access to the Academy, and his reputation.

Viktor points out that he never had any of those things growing up.

I think this is a welcome slap in the face for Jayce. Viktor rose to be the Dean's assistant on ability alone, without any of the scaffolding of privilege, and it humbles Jayce just when he needs it. Viktor is telling him that Jayce already has everything he needs to succeed and that others like Viktor have gotten further with less.

So not only does Viktor give his vote of confidence, he materially shows Jayce there is a way to achieving his dreams without all of the things he just lost.

Not only that, he's won the respect and assistance of someone who has done it before, someone who admires him for what he's done, someone who will help him make this dream a reality when no one else would.

Of course Jayce dedicated his life to Viktor after that. Of course he saw Hextech as their shared dream after that. I'd argue that of course he saw his life as belonging to Viktor after that point, because Viktor saved it.

[pawberri]

Uh, someone who’s most likely in the situation you described. Who’s starting to break past their skepticism and trying to start working on myself. Any tips?

My biggest thing is that when you decide to come out you should give those you trusted to come out to permission to gender you correctly and like "come out for you" to people because it's so nice when your support system fills up without you having to burden yourself with coming out to each and every person and debate them on ur right to exist... and even when people don't support you they have to go thru the buffer of other people... i did it en masse through social media and through my family gossip network and it was so much less exhausting than the other side of my family that doesn't whisper network the info to each other... you will feel like it's a burden and a big risk but it's good for allies and people who aren't hurt directly to help you and split the labor of it... and even when people are cruel and homophobic to you life gets better when they're gone and you're not teetering on the edge of being hated or not hated. also I wrote a note to my parents and left it in the house so I didn't have to say it to their faces lol

All of this hinges on safety of course but if you're safe... do it...

Also stop honoring the opinion of anyone who treats you poorly as valid. Before you're out it will feel like it takes an absurd amount of generosity to be kind, but once you see just how little it costs someone to respect you and how many people WILL respect you... you'll see how cruel and pointless bigotry is. If you keep considering it a valid position to treat you like shit you'll be burdened thinking about whether or not you deserve to be a person and You Do Deserve To Be A Person. The position that being transgender is bad or scary is a wrong and unjustifiable one and is a flaw of the person holding it and not you

Also don't wait to come out to start hormones or making steps towards presenting how you want

[ilikekidsshows]

I hate that we're at a point where I just.. I just gave up on trying to discuss things with Marinette fans. I'm so over their delusions and hypocritical claims about the show and Marinette.

The way they declare Marinette's massive support system as worthless always comes down to the same argument: the characters do not 1000% dedicate their whole existences to Marinette's care so they don't count.

Alix apparently doesn't count as support system because she isn't executing her job of keeping the flow of time right as "bending time and space so Marinette doesn't have to face difficult situations" (even though she could easily solve them for herself if she would stop lying to everyone and making shit about herself that isn't). Marinette fans feel so entitled to Marinette being all that matters that Alix is getting shit on for not breaking the time lines for Marinette's comfort. How is that a rational explanation for why Marinette isn't using her army of a support system?

Fucking LUKA isn't really a support system apparently because he isn't 24/7 doing everything for Marinette to solve HER messes and is now only taking care of her only 90% of his total screen time instead of 100%. Also, Luka is now getting accused of having ditched Marinette in season 5, which??? What the fuck kind of deflection is that? Luka left everything behind because Monarque found out that he knows the identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir. How is that ditching? It's like when Marinette fans claim that Marinette was abandoned by FU when he literally had to sacrifice his memories because she made a mistake that led Hawkmoth to him.

Alya doesn't count as support system apparently because she dared to not cuddle Marinette in Revelator and wanted her memories wiped because Marinette always let's everyone find out about everything in the worst possible ways and here it resulted in Alya absolutely NOT having it with Marinette but giving her a second chance to come clean. Apparently, people don't count as support anymore if they dare to not react like your perfect care takers that always put your feefees first whenever your inactions forced them to find things about in the worst ways. Funny how that standard never applies to Marinette whenever she takes everything out on other people.

Even Kagami gets shit on and said to not count as support system for Marinette pretty much simply because she isn't solving Marinette's problems for her without Marinette ever once asking for any help. That and because she dared to put ADRIEN first when he was breaking down after Ladybug just told him that he's now an orphan, but Marinette kept on as good as begging for Adrien to take care of HER in that moment so Kagami send her ass out.

Marinette stans are fucking nutjobs. I don't have it in me anymore to even try and discuss things with them anymore. There is just no use. It's been 4 years now since all this escalated with season 4 and I'm just sick and tired of Marinette stans' nonsense where they scream and cry about Marinette not being given more sympathy and excuses by the fandom, but at the same time treat everything else in the show as nothing but Marinette's human shaped resources she's owed and is being "failed" by because they aren't doing EVERYTHING for her, including breaking time and space apparently.

All I can hope is that one day Marinette stans will rewatch the show and finally see that morality doesn't start and end at Marinette's benefit and comfort. And that canon is actual CANON, no matter if they don't like it.

---

Yeah, like, Maripologists have been whining about Cat Noir letting himself get hit to protect Ladybug because “it upsets Marinette!” and when Marinette tells him to get hit she's just a master planner. Maripologists say absolutely wild things, is what I'm saying. I still remember when Maripologists who literally dogpiled and harassed me for saying Marinette has one of the biggest support networks in fiction defended themselves by claiming I “was out of line” for that statement. Like, they think pointing out Marinette has support is salt and hate, that's the level of disconnect and inability to have a nuanced discussion about anything we're dealing with. The “Marinette is a lonely wretch who never gets the help she obviously needs it's so sad and all the other characters' fault for ignoring how upset Marinette obviously is” narrative has been going on for years, since even before the retool started giving her even more supporters that the Maripologists then have to pretend don't count.

And the double standard is so obvious. Ladybug ignoring every attempt Cat Noir makes at telling her something's wrong in season 4 is his fault for “not telling her something's wrong”, but every other character is expected to be a mind reader and always know when poor widdle Marinette is upsette and needs to be taken care of. Cat Noir made far more attempts at reaching out when he needs help than Marinette's ever done and he gets scraps in terms of someone making him feel better for a bit and that's his own fault apparently, while with Marinette we’re at the level where she never tells anyone anything and then breaks down while the Maripologists blame everyone but the person with all the power and knowledge in the situation. Sublime’s introduction episode ended with her promising to help make Marinette comfortable with her being friends with her boyfriend. This is a standard interaction for Marinette, she is not hurting for people willing to help her constantly, but nothing will ever be enough for Maripologists.

Sometimes, though, I just don't think she's the one the characters should worry about so much. Frankly, I think her demanding that her emotional needs have to get taken care of while she's upsette about gaslighting her own boyfriend is ghoulish. Kagami and Alya were right to throw that in her face. How about you just don't gaslight your boyfriend? In real life, people will look at someone going: “I’m the one upset here” at a problem they willingly and knowingly caused and think they're a selfish jerk at best.

Oh, I never attempt reasonable discussions with Maripologists, because my first few encounters with them showed me that they will attempt to alter reality itself to turn Marinette into the victim of every situation and every character no matter what. And even those interactions were started by the Maripologists themselves being offended I’d say things like: “Marinette is emotionally fragile” and “Marinette has a big support system of people willing to emotionally support her that she is failing to utilize”, both of which are things we can objectively prove by watching the show.

I’m not going to say I’m a former Marinette stan, I always preferred Adrien to her, but I used to like her character and enjoy her in the protagonist role. I thought she was kinda wimpy with how often she'd complain about small problems or complete nonissues but I figured she's a kid protagonist, it's realistic and she'll probably grow out of it, only for her character to stagnate. And through this entire process, Maripologists have always been insisting that Marinette is simultaneously the most resilient person ever who never complains but also the most obviously pathetic wretch in existence that everyone should see is in constant need of emotional uplifting and help and the fact that they aren't doing everything in their power to help her and get rid of anything bothering her even slightly makes them negligent! If something makes Marinette upsette, it means her support network is too small and neglecting her and not doing their jobs.

[rederiswrites]

hi, in one of your garden post tags, you say you have mixed feelings about tallamy. would you be willing to go into that?

Ohhhh man I've been holding onto this great ask because I wanted to be able to pull receipts and really give a good response, but it keeps chewing on my brain, so let's bang something out.

Pretty much everyone in my Master Gardeners program, from the regular volunteers to some of the PhD-holding teachers, seems to think he's great. He's in my region, so honestly some of them have probably met or worked with him. On the other hand, when I read Nature's Best Hope, a few things itched my brain along the way and overall I was left underwhelmed. And I do know a prairie restorationist here on Tumblr (whom I won't tag so they don't have to get angry about bullshit) who really hates him, I think principally because he's so focused on small individual action? which won't really do much to save prairies, tbh.

For those who aren't familiar, Douglas Tallamy is a professor of entomology and wildlife ecology at University of Delaware. He wrote assorted scholarly stuff, but really came to wider attention with his books Bringing Nature Home and Nature's Best Hope, books written (more or less; more on that later) for the layman.

His central thesis is that, essentially, we (the US; this is all VERY US-centric) have built over and privatized so much of the land here that our ecosystems cannot survive without us shifting to deliberately using private land to build wildlife habitat. He suggests that nature preserves, no matter how large, will never be large enough if we don't support them on private land.

On the other hand, he brings together some encouraging data to suggest that even small, relatively isolated patches of native plants and habitat can contribute significantly to the welfare of more mobile species like insects and birds. The idea he's most famous for is the Homegrown National Park, a proposed network of public parks, home properties, and thoughtfully landscaped commercial properties that would, in theory, create large interconnected areas of habitat for native species, based on deliberate planting of native plants.

And I think that's great! I think that's a great premise. I have no problem with the basic ideas. Nor have I seen anyone criticize his actual research or its interpretations. Entomology, and insect interactions within the food web, seem to be his focus, and so far as I know his methods are pretty rigorous and his data not in question.

It was his attitude and his writing I didn't love. I think the problem stands out most strongly in contrast with, say, Robin Kimmerer's work and her book, Braiding Sweetgrass, which is essentially a series of autobiographical stories highlighting the positive ways in which humans can interact with their environment. Kimmerer is a member of the Potawatomi nation and herself a highly respected botanist, and she brings a very different indigenous perspective to her work, wherein humans are a part of nature and can be its partner. Tallamy's writing is constantly studded with his own guilt over human destruction of nature, and I think it harms both his writing and his attempt to appeal to a broader audience.

I don't have the time to find specific quotes, alas, but Tallamy straight-up talks about North American indigenous people as if they no longer exist, and also completely ignores the relationship they had with the land. It was extremely jarring to me as I read, and I'm shocked I'm not better able to find people talking about it online tbh. More than that, he virtually ignores that native peoples ever DID exist, referring to the North America that Europeans discovered as "untrammeled wilderness" (wildly untrue and embarrassingly dated from a scholarly point of view) and talks about westward expansion and the slaughter of the bison without once mentioning the indigenous peoples. He espouses a pretty troubling view of humans as locked in a millenia-old inherent struggle against nature that is just....eecccchhhhhh no please.

Then he turns right around and spends an entire chapter (very weirdly and awkwardly, I thought) fanboying over a succession of (mostly white male) ecologists over the last century. And though he doesn't say so, cumulatively the effect is to put him in this lineage of white male saviors who continuously expand our cultural idea of what it means to save the ecosystems around us. It's...iffy.

Beyond that, the central premise wasn't super new to me, which left me reading the book with more of an eye to presentation and writing, and that was a little all over the place. Besides being bogged down in his guilt, his prose was also hampered by a lack of clarity of purpose. Sometimes he seemed to be appealing to his fellow scholars, other times to homeowners and laypeople. The two audiences don't really need the same information, and I didn't think the passages pleading with scholars added much to the writing's strength as a general audiences book. Sometimes it even came off as...how do I say this nicely? A little uncomfortably desperate. I understand the desperation! But I think it negatively impacted the writing.

And lastly, I feel he wrote with a heavy focus on his own ecoregion, without ever acknowledging that he was doing so. This worked out for me, because we're in the same ecoregion and only a couple hours apart geographically, but I think it would have been very annoying for, say, someone in New Mexico, whom he was ostensibly also addressing, but with almost no attention to their actual ecological circumstances. I think writing for your own region is great! We need to do so! But doing so without acknowledging it just makes you look shortsighted.

All that said, I am glad I read Nature's Best Hope, and it did have a couple lessons for me that I've taken forward.

One, I really liked the idea that in the future, ownership of land will come with an expectation that you will care for that land in a way that supports its "ecosystem services". Those being things like cycling water, producing and maintaining fresh air, nutrient cycling, etc. That just like, say, recycling cans, there will be a cultural expectation that you don't landscape in a way that pollutes your area with insecticides or directs a lot of rainwater runoff into the road. Honestly, in my home state of Maryland, there are beginnings of that. Farmers are pretty strictly regulated with an eye to reducing pesticide and fertilizer runoff and soil erosion, because of concern for the health of the Chesapeake Bay. There are programs and incentives for solar power, riparian reforestation, and other ecological initiatives. So it doesn't seem impossible, and it does seem logical.

Two, I needed the reminder that in order to fully support insect life, and thus the species that depend on insects, we can't just provide pretty pollen plants. Those of us with the means to do so need to provide habitat for the entire life cycle, which means leaving leaves and dead flower stems over winter, providing rotting wood, keeping clean water available, etc. Again, because I live in the same environment as Tallamy, his specific suggestions were helpful.

So yeah...there it is. I'm sure much more could be said, but not by me, or at least not today. Tallamy. Kind of a mixed bag tbh.

[ficsinhistory]

I was thinking about Metal Sonic and Ivo.

I have a personal theory that Robotinik ends up in the past and ends up dominating the world - more specifically Little Planet - as he wanted. Total domination and emperor of all living things level of domination. He achieves it thanks to Metal Sonic who he made in the image of the blue hedgehog and his quill, as a way of replacing Stone whom he feels guilty about leaving and in no way does he process this in a healthy way...

Except that it doesn't fulfill. He, Ivo Robotnik who always thought machines were superior in everything to humans can't replace Stone with one, even though this is his magnum opus and demonstration of control over everything, even his worst enemy (metaforically speaking).

Which would result not only in him wanting more control by seeking the Time Stones but would also affect Metal Sonic, who wants affection and love - just like Sonic - and doesn't receive it because surprise surprise, he was born by and for hate and oppression, not love and bonds, which would lead him to question his base programming, want to destroy Sonic on a personal level and possibly go after the other Wachowskis to replace the true Sonic with the worse and twisted actions of the original imaginable. And of course, Stone is probably so bad that he can go from helping GUN out of spite and grief to another big villain because of the pain.

Something something when there is no support network and love present in the processes of facing life, all that is left is despair and hatred that will inevitably end what is left of the good feelings and leave you in a worse state than you started because everyone needs someone and no person is an island and the coping mechanisms of someone without awareness of this are the worst possible something something

[moniairis]

I love the team ADeuce + Grim and Prefect. They rent free in my head. I mean, I love the 1st year gang in general, but these four have a special space in my heart.

They are such a wholesome team of friends. I've always loved Deuce since day 1, Ace came a little after. But they gained my eternal love and respect after they travelled by public transport to Sage island because they had a "help we're stuck" text. Two 16 years old straight up left their families and home during the FREAKING holiday (the only few weeks they can see family during the school year-) so they could help their two friends by traveling for 2 or more days in public transport. They deserves the world for it (even if calling the police would have been quicker- The feeling are there and well received-)

And don't get me started on Grim because, like I would do to my cat, I would forgive him anything. Like. He doesn't want the tuna because it's not his usual brand ? Yeah you little picky one. You annoy me. You will eat this....okay don't look at me like this, I will get you your usual one tomorrow. Can I pet you ?

For Ace and Grim it's more a kind of love-hate, like you love your annoying sibling. "You are a jerk. But you will fight for me and I will fight for you. And your funny. And sometime cute. Don't smile at me like this-". And Deuce is a sweetheart. I can say a lot but between the chick incident and "I want to make my mom proud of me now-". Boy had his redemption arc before the start of the game, let me be there and support you 🥺

So, all of this to say I love them. They are a wholesome team of friends. And they feel like home. The kind of feeling you only have with close friends. People who will see you at your best and your worst and wants you whatever you are at your best or worst. People who will love your qualities and your flaws, see in you and love things in you you thought everyone would hate. The kind of people you go see to "do homework/help for something. But not long, we have things to do" and screw up things. You ended up talking about all and nothing until night falls and after.

Someone once told me they are friends you make that become your family, a second family you made for yourself and have chosen. I really think that the kind of friendship these four have/will have. They care for each other. Will go save the others/worried to death even if -honestly- the others kinda deseved it (we remember all the Anemom incident, the text of Scarabia without respond without thinking ADeuce would freak out or the "leaving school to save Grim without telling anyone". I mean- They are a chaotic group- They take turn in facepalming and competiting for the 1st place at the most problematic member of the team-). They are like a bunch of siblings facepalming/laughing at the mess another made but who will always be there for each other.

EVERYTHING, just to say I started to write a Shroud family fluff and had the need to write a whole page about a "broom trip" - a road trip with broom of these four during the summer break between their 3th/4th year. Like "come on buddies. We're are freshly adults. And we're going to go on a trip before we're going to be busy with internship/graduation/future." Obviously they ended losing themsleves in unknow woods. Obviously no network. Yes. They did fight a Phantom again. Yes. I have now a new thing to write about the whole trip because it has nothing to do in the Shroud family fluff but it's super fun-

I need to learn how to summarize things and go to the point.

[dotthings]

The few Dean fans left in the Destiel lane have big soft spots for Cas and I feel that gets taken advantage of. Cas is important to me, I connect with Cas similarly to how I do on Dean, so it’s feelings in stereo all the time shipping this ship, I use neither just for a ship, I ship because of my feelings for both. But majority of the Destiel lane is dominated by Cas stans, who are the loudest and most numerous and get most of the engagement, and it’s not a very Dean supportive environment. Don’t confuse Dean fans who love Cas, and Destiel being a ship we love, because we love and respect both characters, with a willingness to tolerate the rancid Dean hating takes from Cas stans or willingness or obligation to be NICE to Cas stans who hate on Dean.

My love for Cas doesn’t mean I’m going to be NICE when Cas stans start in on Dean. (I had to ditch a lot of the Dean stanning lane due to how they treat Cas, and I’ve done the same due to how Cas stans treat Dean).

And if I had a dime for every time a Cas stan complained about me and said I only use Cas for my ship…while they don’t care how Cas stans treat Dean or how they use Dean for a ship. Not to mention—relevant context, I’m one of the og Cas fans. I was fascinated with him from his first appearance. I was there for S7 and the Save Castiel campaign. I sent a blue tie to the network. Once I loved Cas, I could not imagine spn without Cas. When Cas gets lost, I mourn with Dean.

The potency Destiel has for me has been amplified by how complex Dean and Cas are and that I love and relate to both of them. Dean and Cas brainrot forever, not just “shipping Destiel.”

[whathorselegs]

An unnecessarily long ramble about Shirase's role in Storm Bringer - Part 1

Storm Bringer's Themes and Shirase

At it's core, Storm Bringer is about the many ways someone can be dehumanized and also the many ways a person can exhibit humanity without necessarily being 'human'. Nearly every major character within this book showcases these themes from Chuuya to Adam, to Verlaine, to Dazai.

And yes, even Shirase, however I think the way these themes affect Shirase's character is overlooked a bit, because compared to everyone else, he's ordinary and often times being annoying. The dehumanization he experiences isn't some Big Bad, but that doesn't mean it's not there. The way he regains his humanity is with an internal struggle. It's not as exciting as everything else, so it's no wonder it doesn't get talked about as much.

However, I'm obsessed with it, so I'm going to talk about.

The Dehumanization of Shirase

'The young man would then rivet, wipe, and remove its burrs. Then another part would come his way. Rivet, wipe, file. Rivet, wipe, file. Rivet, wipe, file. Rivet, wipe, file. He would do that as many times as it took until he eventually thought, I've had enough of this. After finishing the next metal part, he was going to quit and go home. He had that same thought every single time he worked until the bell eventually rang, letting all the workers know that their shift was going to end in five minutes. Only during those five minutes did the young man feel some what human.'

This is how we are introduced to Shirase and for me it's one of the grimmest passages in the book. There are certainly events that are more horrifying, but this is grim in such a mundane way, and its because this is how a lot of people spend their lives. This is the type of dehumanization real people can easily relate to.

Working day after day, hour after hour as a cog in a machine, loosing everything you are to your job that you hate until the end of the day where you can regain your sense of self.

Asagiri will often not use a character's name at the start of chapter to create some mystery as to who they are, specifically he does this a lot for Dazai. However it's still interesting me that in this whole passage, it's not until the last paragraph that Shirase is named. By Chuuya. Until then, he's nobody, just a faceless worker, only becoming a person once he's relevant to the plot.

In this passage it's also noted that some of the other workers try to invite Shirase to eat together, but Shirase declines. They are all older than him, it doesn't mention any names and there's no indication that Shirase considers them his friends. Why would he? This is a place were he doesn't even feel like himself, how could he possibly form friendships?

The most interesting way, to me, that Shirase is dehumanized throughout Storm Bringer is the way several characters treat Shirase as insignificant or as someone to be used/disposed of, despite those characters being ones who we root for.

The Port Mafia treats him as a hostage, all his friends had been shipped away to different parts of Japan. He has no support network anymore, he's alone. He lives with the knowledge at any moment the Port Mafia could decide to kill him.

Murase, despite caring for Chuuya and 'wanting to show him the light' does not extend that same kindness to Shirase. He uses Shirase as a means to get Chuuya to come to the police station. Murase even bullies Shirase whilst arresting him.

'Nobody cares about small fries like you, so you've got nothing to worry about.'

It's an off-handed comment and probably to be funny and out of the context of the dehumanization theme it is. But everyone in this story is telling Shirase the exact same thing. He's worthless. Shirase isn't worth Murase's time, he isn't worth saving. Whilst Murase talks to Chuuya about living in the light, he has Shirase locked away in a dark cell left to rot. Because Shirase isn't important.

Murase sets it up so Shirase's freedom is dependant on Chuuya's choice. If Chuuya agrees to be an informant, Shirase will be let go. He doesn't give Shirase the chance to fight for his own freedom because he has nothing Murase wants.

It might be annoying the amount of times Shirase claims he's 'the king' but when everyone else treats him like nothing, it's not surprising to me that he's so desperate to be recognized.

Adam, is perhaps the worst offender of this. He does not like Shirase and whilst I'm not saying he has to, he is also our main narrator through out the book. He interacts with Shirase the most. He also thinks Shirase lacks intelligence and is an annoyance. Despite being programmed to save humans, he treats protecting Shirase as a chore, even though, Shirase is the exact type of person he was meant to protect. An ordinary one.

When Verlaine attacks Shirase in the cells, Adam gives up and accepts Shirase's fate despite saying several times how terrified he is.

'Shirase's voice trembled with fear.' 'Shirase's voice quavered like never before. It took everything he had to simply stand on his own two feet.' 'He was too astonished and afraid to even to even yell out.' 'The worst thing that could happen right now would be losing Master Chuuya or me and being unable to follow with our plan to ambush Verlaine. He had two more targets remaining. There was still hope.'

He's as good as sentencing Shirase to death here because his life isn't as important as Chuuya's or his own. Shirase is disposable. Adam says as much when trying to convince Shirase to come with them. It's made all the more heartbreaking when Shirase is looking to Adam for help but Adam has ready decided he can't do anything.

He says that there was no chance of success at saving Shirase but as soon as Chuuya is in danger, Adam is able to break free from the wall he's trapped in. The possible outcomes don't matter anymore, Chuuya is in danger and he has to try and save him. Something he wasn't willing to do for Shirase.

After Shirase falls unconscious from being poisoned Adam leaves him locked in a storeroom and says he should be safe there. Despite the alarm system broadcasting that everything within the building is going to burned and everyone needs to evacuate. Implying anyone left behind will also burn. When Shirase wakes up alone, thinking he's been abandoned, he easily gets out of the storeroom, meaning anyone could have just as easily got in and killed him.

'The poison was probably meant for Master Chuuya while Shirase was merely collateral damage.'

This what Adam says about Shirase being poisoned and I can't tell if it's supposed to Adam saying how the military sees Shirase or how Adam feels about him. Because it's exactly how he treats him.

The dehumanizing way Adam treats Shirase affects how the reader views him too. Readers are already inclined to dislike Shirase after the events in Fifteen, now in Storm Bringer we spend most of our time with a narrator that also doesn't like Shirase. So when Adam exhibits a lack of care towards Shirase, calls him dumb, annoying and dismisses him, the reader is easily led into doing the same.

And it's sad because Shirase is genuinely scared and struggling throughout the story. But we almost only ever see this during the few parts that are narrated from Shirase's perspective.

Which I will talk more about in Part 2 when I discuss Shirase's overall arc and the ways in which he regains his 'humanity'.

If you read all of this, then thank you :D I hope you enjoyed

Disclaimer: This is not hate on Adam's character, I love him, however this post is about Shirase not him.

[fafodill]

I have no idea if this has been asked before, so, if so, my bad, but your art fills me with joy every time I see it! How long have you been drawing and what got you into it? I’m so curious! :3

Thank you so much, your ask made me super happy aah! 💚

I haven't talked about it yet actually. I suppose I have been creative since I was a child (thanks mom). I've always drawn but wouldn't say I was particularly 'good' at it when I was younger. But it was consistently bringing me joy!

Whenever I could take an art option in school I did - and I had a great Italian teacher in highschool who was the sweetest man and so supportive of us (trivia: we were all absolutely convinced he was gay and the day he mentioned his wife and kids we all stopped drawing and looked up at each other like EXCUSE YOU WHAT)(respectfully). During that time I really thought about going to art school in Switzerland but everything was a) too expensive and b) not appealing enough? So I looked for something else and kinda stopped drawing after high school. I didn't think I could pull it off by myself without proper training (I thrive with a schedule and assignements but less by myself) and life got a bit messy.

Fast forward 2 years and I'm fucking lost. I hated the uni and left after 6 months, took a sabbatical which was horrendous (stuck at home with my father who was pissed at me) and tried other studies which were so ludicrous I burst into tears the first day being like 'WHAT AM I DOING HERE??'

And I still wanted to draw.

A close artist friend - who later became my boyfriend (now ex) - told me about this school in France that had a great reputation. I was out of options and terrified about moving country but the next thing you know I was in Nantes and starting a 3 years program where I spent all my time drawing. I specialized in comics but really, I learned illustration and concept art as well. I graduated in 2019.

I've been drawing since as a freelance artist. It doesn't pay much because I'm bad at looking for clients (networking makes me want to shoot myself) and I did have a few jobs on the side as well but not recently.

It's a bit hard to explain because drawing is so hard. People tend to say 'oh but it's so nice it's your passion as a job' but drawing is a bitchhh. You're constantly facing your limits.

But also when you manage to draw something you love, something you had in your head and it makes you super happy, it's the best. And when you get to draw for other people and make them happy it's such a great feeling.

Lately I've been quite happy with what I'm doing. Coming to this fandom challenged me a ton but since it's my hyperfixation it dulls the challenge aspect of it! I'm having tons of fun experimenting with limited colour palette and shapes and expressions etc.

I'll stop rambling here because I'm not even sure I properly answered your ask. Feel free to ask me more questions about it if you want, I'll always be happy to share! 💚

[applejewel-and-pinkamena]

Mmmhmhm said the pegasus as she woke up on her comfortable bed, she looked at the time, 11:50, awfully early time for her to wake up!

"MOOOOOOOMM!!! Where's my breakfast?!"

"Here it is sweetheart!" Said Windy Whistles as she delivered a large plate of assorted breakfast goods to her daughter's bed. Rainbow Dazzle threw it into the floor!

"MOOOOOM!!! I like the eggs sunny side UP, not sunny side to the side! You are ruining everything! Make another one, you are making me feel sick!!" The mother was sad for a moment, then decided to make another breakfast for her 32-year old daughter, taking extra time to make sure it met all her...needs. Meanwhile, the young mare thought it'd be a waste if she didn't also eat the first batch of food, which she did.

"There you go honey, enjo-" Dazzle gobbled it in 5 seconds flat, she licked her hooves of every tiny crumb of the whole meal, and downed the glass of orange juice in one long "gulp!"

"That hit the spot" Rainbow slowly stood up from her bed, and took out her phone "filled with energy, focused on daytrading, i am SPEED", she then stared down Whistles "GET OUT OF MY ROOM MOM, I NEED MY PRIVACY!!!".

Her mom left that very instant, soon after, her dad, Bow Hothoof, approached the room "hey, how's it going sugarlump of my dreams?" he said with a smile "you up for a game of Pinkie Kart with your old man?"...

"It would be going much better if you LEFT, NOW!" She points to the door "and you are a terrible player by the way, you know i always win, but can you heat me up some Chicken Tenders daddy-o? Thaaaaanks~" Suddenly, his nostrils flared up.

"Umm, Dazzie, are you in one of your 'extended pheromone enhancement sessions'? Not that i mind but-"

"OH FOR LUNA'S SAKE DAD! My body odor is 100% necessary, and you know this! I have explained it to you SEVERAL TIMES just in the last month, ALL THE SUCCESSFUL ENTREPENEURS DO IT!! Of course, you would know NOTHING about that!"

"Ok, ok, i respect that Dazzie, totally, comprendo! But this is my house too, and it would mean so much if you could put on some deodorant once in a while-"

"GET OUT DAD! I HATE YOU!!! LEAVE MY ROOM!! I HAVE TO GAIN FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, UNLIKE YOU BLUE COLLAR ONE-TRICK PONY! FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE!!!" Rainbow's dad slipped on an old...magazine of Dazzle's, he brushed himself off the ground and pretended nothing was wrong, for the thousandth time by now "and i'm NOT putting on deodorant!"

Bow held back a tear "y-yeah, sure honey" and left without saying another word.

"Finally!" Dazzle adjusted her glasses, pushed her gut down so as to not block the keyboard, and began typing "addicted to the grind #BetterThanEver #Money #NotLikeOtherPegasi" she was in the middle of thinking about other hashtags, when her stomach rumbled, hungering for lunch already "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, are you DEAF or something?!?! IT'S THE RUMBLIES AGAIN!!!!"

The deepest sigh ever produced by a pony "...coming"

But then, her mom and dad both burst into her room together, they carefully avoided all the...wet and sticky things all over the carpet "hey champ...we need to talk" rainbow stared them down and threw a month-old bottle of soda at them "chuck that into the bin for me folks, what is it? Be quick, i have to build my network" they sigh again and look into each other's eyes to make sure they are making the right choice "look dazzie, we were thinking about this for a while now, and as much as we love you and support you through everything-" "and as much as we would love to take care of you more ever since your accident with your wings-" "and we know you suffer from some slight complications with your weight...but we decided you can start living on your own...on your own apartment! Owned all by yourself and not by us!" Rainbow's jaw dropped to the floor

"Wait?! What?! NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Her scream was heard throughout Cloudsdale "P-please please please please please pleaaaaaaaaseeee!!! Mommy, daddy let me stay please i need your HELP so BAAAAAADLY!!! I am helpless on my own, and i'm still broke!! And my wings-" she pokes one of her wings, which is still bandaged from an accident that just so happened to befall her the one and only time she had to work a job at the rainbow factory a few years ago, she exaggerates her pain "YEEEEEEOOOOUCH!!!! t-t-they are nowhere NEAR being healed, i can barely even leave my room without feeling sooooo overexhausted!!" She acts like she is out of breath "oof! And my eyesight has barely recovered at all!" She points to her thick glasses "A-and i can hardly feed myself!! I need my meals cooked, you guys know that! You know that right?!"

Rainbow's mother just looked to the floor for a moment "i know, i know you can't really cook, or use the microwave, or use the coffee machine, or really do anything by yourself that isn't eating straight from the fridge...not like you ever bothered to try any longer than five minutes" her dad looked her in the eyes "and it's not like we wouldn't pay for your meal deliveries, and rent, and stuff like that...as long as you had your own space!".

"Just take it off the budget for Mom's doodle projects or whatever!" Said the young mare as she munched on a who-knows-how-old potato chip that fell from the ceiling. "I had to paint my last piece using crayons" whispers Windy, she turns to her daughter "l-look i already cut too much out, and it's my lifelong passion you see...and i actually have a JOB TO FINANCE IT!" Windy shut her mouth that instant...and Dazzie opened hers! "Wow, alright mom, if that's what you even deserve to be called, yelling at your own poor disabled daughter? I feel traumatized...but i could consider making amends if you served me a good cup of hot chocolate right about now, unless you want me to feel unsupported and hopeless~"

Hothoof had enough watching this display, he had seen it twice by now, everytime they tried to gently let her get her own place, she shamed Windy into compliance, or also every single time she wanted someone to take the garbage out for her, or clean the dishes, or any other number of tasks that by this point no one expected out of her, and so Bow released his pent up anger once and for all...

"ENOUGH! BE QUIET!! SHUT UP!!!"

I-i'm sick and tired of you using us as tools for you to be lazy and entitled all day, everyday, every year of...of forever! And you don't even care that we have sacrificed just...just so many years of our finite lives for you?! I can't even afford to buy bubblegum for MYSELF after having to pay the bills for your- your- YOUR DUMB CRYPTO "INVESTMENT" LAST YEAR! J-just...just get out of my house you freeloading, good for nothing FAILURE OF A PONY!!!!!"

Windy was crying now "honey, no! Please, i can adjust my budget and then maybe, well, s-she needs us!" Bow stopped her "this is for everypony's greater good deal...Rainbow Dazzle Whistles Hothoof..." gulp "i am kick- getting this house rid of you...wait that sounded worse...i am kicking you out!"

By this point, Dazzle was tapping out, not having her lunch by now meant her energies were low "ZZZZZZZZ" her dad just poked her until she woke up "did you even hear anything i just said?!"

"Something about...chicken tenders?"

"NO!" grumble grumble "i was saying that SOMEPONY here doesn't have a JOB, and is smelly, and doesn't do ANY chores and is unlikeable in general, and that this pony needs to find their own living place that IS NOT OURS!"

Rainbow tried one last time to wiggle her way out of this

"...mommy! Daddy! It's me! Remember? Little Rainbow Dazzie? Remember how i would lift the clouds in the production line, and help you put them in their proper place, and how i would scan the barcode like i was using the device as a gun, and-"

BUSTED

[To be continued!]

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Infinite wealth finale part 2! It's finally over... Feels unreal 🙃 I've actually reached this point.

SO. What's next? Well. I decided to hop on to the Pirate game after this and then I'll do the DLC content for this game. Why? Because I'm still 100% blind and have not seen a single spoiler about anything in the Majima game. And I don't know how long I'll be able to remain that way if I wait.

Some light commentary about the ending in terms of Kiryu at the end of the post!

Hoo boy, isn't this the area where the helicopter lads attacked us in Y6? Man, wouldn't it be really silly if it happened aga-

:(

Come on. I was joking!!

Nevermind! The BOYS are here!! And they're looking real sharp 👀❤️ Glad to see you back in leather pants, Majima!

I like Daigo's outfit, he looks neat!! But. It would have been VERY funny if he'd pulled up to this shitstorm in his stuffy chairman suit. Like, really funny. This is cool too, though!

...

for me? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Awww, game! You shouldn't have!!

Well... if you insist :)

Christmas came real early this year, eh? Thanks, RGG Studios! And also thanks to the random NPC who left this beautiful piece of equipment on the ground 🫶🏻

It was a cool fight! Overall Ichi vs Ebina felt more epic and cinematic, but this one had more emotional impact. So it all ended

Ohhhh, Ebina. Kiryu knows. Kiryu knows this too damn well. Has known for DECADES, now:

And I absolutely think the 'jimas know as well.

I can see where Ebina is coming from, though. The Yakuza ruined his life and now they want to go back into society and not even get punished?

This is a big issue that really doesn't have a solution that satisfies both parties. Yes, they are criminals and they have hurt and killed countless people, for... who knows how long. And now society at large is supposed to accept them back in? To the victims and their families it'd definitely feel like these people don't have to take any accountability for their actions.

But! Will the problem ever truly go away if the ex-yakuza keep being shunned? We already saw them going back into that life because they had no support network or a chance to even try to support themselves financially any other way. The yakuza will never cease to be a thing if the people trying to leave it don't have any other place to go.

Both sides have their points. There was no way to solve this issue without a big number of people being hurt in some way.

HELL YEAH!! Now we're talking!

You can't make amends in death!! You have to keep living and you gotta make that shit COUNT!

Thank you, Ichi and everyone else on the team!! You got through to him! You actually did it, you absolute madlads!

Gahhh;; if only Kiryu knew how proud Nishiki and Kashiwagi would be if they had seen this scene... 😭

Ichi, you are a saint. Bless your sweet heart. You are so much better than I am. Because I want JUSTICE FOR MY MANS HANAWA AND I WANT IT NOW. Yeah, yeah. He had his reasons and he's giving himself up to the cops. And props to him for that. But.

The problem here? I'm an angry, spiteful little woman. I hold on to grudges like Kiryu holds on to guilt; nonstop, intensely, and about too damn many things. Good on you for trying to change, Eiji. Genuinely. You're still on my shitlist, though. It's on SIGHT.

Okay, onto other things!

I hated the music they played until the credits. I don't care about the lyrics, the vibe just didn't match the scene for me. They were going for that hopeful tone, but it just felt JARRING when I was watching a half-dead Kiryu get dragged into that helicopter and then surgery at the same time. Muted the game, but it managed to ruin the mood for me.

I bet a lot of people liked the song choice and I respect that. For me... it was 100% a miss.

HIIII SWEETIES OMG 🥺😭🥺😭❤️😭🥺😭❤️😭 IT'S HER?? IT'S HIM?? THEY'RE HERE??? I'M NOT DREAMING?? I feel like Kiryu at the end of Y5, staring up at Haruka in wonder. I'm not even mad about not seeing the reunion, I'm just happy to see these two 😭❤️ Haruto has grown so much...

He lives!! AND he has a name!! YIPPEE! Good for you, Kiryu 🥺❤️

Some people might be shocked at the state he's in, but I truly am not. He's getting cancer treatments!! That shit WRECKS you physically and mentally! Just seen it happen recently with a friend. Those treatments are NO joke.

Kiryu was already in a rough shape and now he started cancer treatments this late into the process? I'd be more surprised if he looked even remotely okay. He's fighting on, and he's a KING for it. That's. My. BOY!!

Now. Time for the big guestion:

DO I THINK KIRYU IS DEAD?

I... no. No I don't. And I have a reason. Though, I will fully admit that I am constantly crushing pure and unfiltered copium into a fine powder and snorting it every hour. But still...

Yes, the death flags are too numerous to count. Yes, to the point that the game feels like a funeral march - a fun one, but a funeral march nonetheless. Yes, Kiryu does think he'll die and he started receiving treatment alarmingly late. All valid points that I see clearly.

BUT. What I don't see is RGG Studios, of all game studios, being so utterly DISRESPECTFUL as writers that they would kill KIRYU FUCKING KAZUMA off-screen. Kiryu?? WON TOU got an on-screen death! Terada got TWO hella dramatic ones!!! And they'd just kill KIRYU off screen?? I just... I don't see it. I feel like if they'd planned to have Kiryu die here, it would have been during the scene with the jarring song in it, before the credits.

Do I think we'll get to see Kiryu again? Maybe not!! He's definitely not gonna be a playable character ever again, I'm not THAT deep into my copium high. This was the conclusion of his arc as a main character. Hell, maybe we won't see him again! But I'd honestly prefer them leaving Kiryu alive and never seeing him again to just... letting this ambiguous thing play out and then getting a "lol yeah btw... he died after that" in the next game.

Some people might not see why it'd make a big difference. But it does, to me. And I do think killing Kiryu off like this would be an atrocious writing choice to make. But that's honestly just my very subjective and heavily biased perspective. If they did it, I will not like it one bit, but that's life. All art will always have people who appreciate it and people who hate it. If you like this as a way of writing Kiryu's death, that's cool.

As I said, I'm going into Majima's game 100% blind. My only wish for it? I want to know Kiryu's status. No, I don't need to see him, I just want to know what happened. I'd hate for this specific subject to be left this ambiguous.

[whineandcheese24]

personally, I'm not at all disappointed that they gave Buck a queer arc before Eddie, or that they switched love interests, and I actually feel better about this interview for a few reasons

Point 1 - Buck is bi, Eddie is not: This is my personal hc so no hate if you disagree, but I always viewed Buck as bi, and Eddie as demi. We know he had issues with Ana and is now having issues with Marisol, but he really did seem happy and comfortable in those moments with Shannon, which is why I never quite got on the "Eddie is gay" train. I know the chances of a major network tv show (or even any tv show) actually using the word demi out loud is slim, but it's still what I want and think fits best (and I wouldn't be surprised if they left Eddie unlabeled, seeing as they haven't even officially given Buck a label), and having Eddie get into a relationship with Tommy would feel as shallow and not-right as his previous relationships. This story of meeting a guy and having a crush and being kissed and asked out by a guy when you've never even conciously considered guys before just fits better on Buck than it would on Eddie.

Point 2 - Buck needs to go first: Jumping off the last point, if we're going with the opinion that Buck is into men, while Eddie is into Buck (which I've seen a lot of support for within the text and the fandom) then Buck needs to have his arc first. I can't see Eddie even considering that his feelings for Buck are more than platonic without Buck coming out. By having Buck come out first, Eddie has the chance to look at him and go "huh? didn't realize that was an option" (kind of like how he did in the coming out scene with realizing Tommy, a character established to be very similar to Eddie, is gay). Buck's character arcs tend to be loud and blunt with him getting hit on the head by the point, he learns by doing. but Eddie's arcs tend to be calmer and quieter and more introspective, with little things building up until they blow over, he learns by thinking. By having Buck come out first and date, not just a guy, but a guy Eddie's friends with who is very similar to him, it becomes another little thing that can help Eddie on his journey

Point 3 - Eddie can still be queer: One of the worries about this interview might be that they decided a queer Eddie arc didn't work, but the way I see it, they were considering queer Eddie. Not just in a jokingly-sending-my-costar-fanfiction way, but in an actual writers-and-directors-etc-are-seriously-considering-this-arc. That's huge. And we joke about Lou going to pr jail, but this is a serious thing, and the cast and crew know that. I seriously doubt if they weren't comfortable with the audience knowing they wouldn't have told Lou not to say anything, or that he didn't still ask if he could talk about it. The way I see it, the cast and crew and writers and network were seriously considering giving Eddie a queer arc, and are okay with the audience knowing it, maybe because they're considering giving him a slightly different queer arc in the future.

all this to say: This arc with Tommy works best with Buck having the physical experience of dating a man, and Eddie watching from the side and starting to consider it in his own mind. And just because they dropped Eddie's arc with Tommy, doesn't mean they can't give him his own different arc later down the line

[thegreathomestuckreread]

maybe if i get all of this out of my head i will be able to relax to sleep. this is probably gonna be a little disjointed.

i just feel like the second half of this year my entire life just fucking imploded. i got covid for a second time in july and it's completely fucked me in precisely the ways i spent years screaming at everyone about. it feels like i'm paying with my life for everyone else's negligence, i never stopped masking and being careful and now i'm the one with long covid. i know that's not how the world works but it's just not fucking fair

i barely finished my summer contract with significant accommodation, i haven't worked since then (end of august), and now the dream position i was waiting all year for has opened for applications and i can't fucking do it. i can't do it. i don't have the energy

one of my uncles died suddenly and unexpectedly in november, he went in to have one if his kidneys out and fucking bled out from medical complications, and now another uncle is dying from three different types of cancer with less than a year to live, and that's with doing chemo, it's only two months without

it feels like my own parents' deaths are creeping up on me and i haven't even established myself as an independent adult and now it feels like i never will because the economy was making it hard enough when i was able to work and take care of myself but now i can't even fucking do either of those things

i'm hearing from my dad about how my cousins are taking care of my uncle while he's doing chemo and it terrifies me that i don't think i can do that for my parents if they end up needing it, i don't think i can take care of them if/when they need that and simultaneously in that situation i'm going to lose their care for me because i'm still very dependent on them

idk it just feels like the height of my life is over and everything i have to look forward to now is just scary bad shit, all these fucking huge terrifying things are looming over me in the future and i hate it. i have no idea how i'll survive after my parents are gone

and it's like. i need to fucking chill because i'm not alone. but i also don't have a very wide network to rely on and i'm terrified of needing to rely on that so heavily

and the worst worst WORST part of all of this! is the fucking isolation that comes with trying not to get sick again because FUCKING NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT COVID ANY MORE. i'm so fucking lonely and touch-starved but i can't do anything about it without risking my fucking life because no one cares any more

and like. okay. i know that everything i'm freaking out about is further off than it feels, and that with time i will learn more about my body and how to handle it and things will get easier for me. my mother has already assured me that her and my dad already have their own plans if they need care in their old age. and plans and supports for me and for my own independence and all that will come into place over time. and my parents very likely both have, at bare minimum, ten more years left in 'em, which is a long time. and i'm not alone. i'm not fucking alone in this. i know this

it's just too much. it's too much at once. and i miss my fucking partner. and their dog and their mom. and staying overnight at their place all the time. we talk all the time of course and we do phone calls and video calls but i haven't been able to see them physically in months. i miss going shopping by myself. i've needed to go buy new winter boots for months but i never have the fucking energy. it feels pointless anyway because it's not like i'm ever leaving the house for anything besides being ferried to medical appointments and back. i miss my fucking job working in the arts, and all the wonderful coworkers i would be working with in that new position if i could apply to it. i miss feeling like i had some idea of what the future might look like for me. i don't know any more. i didn't even have a detailed plan just start working full-time and move out of my parents' place. ideally in some fuzzy further future get married and have kids. like, none of this is like a precise plan, just very loose goals, but all of it. it's all gone now

i know things will get better and easier it's just. it's just a lot. and i'm still mourning everything i lost. and fucking angry that i'm even going through this when i am one of the only people who never stopped giving a fuck about covid. and looking around me and seeing still everywhere no one cares any more

ugh idk if this helped anything lol i'm probably just gonna have the same meltdown again in a couple weeks because that's my life now i guess

[lovjiwoong]

twenty six — NOT. A. DATE.

pairing: yoon jeonghan x gender neutral reader

warnings: playful insults, cursing

genre: fluff, comedy, very tiny angst

word count: 0.4k

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networks: @kflixnet

a/n: hiiii loves <3 i'm back (again), i know i take a lot of breaks but my mental health isn't too good this year and sometimes i struggle but you guys are amazing and so supportive and i adore you 💕

The day spent with Jeonghan was nice, he treated you to pizza and you both spent a considerable amount of time on the beach just watching the sun go down. It was like he knew exactly what calmed your nerves without you telling him. You always loved a sunset, the vibrant colours were euphoric, the oranges, the pinks and the gorgeous red sky as the sun was about to disappear was perfect.

"I think you're brave for what you did, like really brave, and I'm proud of you for not sitting quiet. He deserved it." Jeonghan's kind words left an impression on you. Hearing him say that meant a lot to you, you could tell those words were sincere and he meant them.

"Thanks, Jeonghan. I'll be honest, there was a part of me that wanted to just ignore it. To just block him again and pretend like it wasn't happening but I had to protect myself, my friends and anyone in the future he could have hurt." When you turn to face Jeonghan, he's already looking at you, you hate to admit it to yourself but he looks pretty when the orange from the sunset shines on his face, "You did the right thing, y/n. Because of you, you're safe. And you've saved others. But I can tell you right now, that had you not have said anything to anyone, we would have protected you. None of us would have allowed him to mess with you."

Unbeknownst to you, spending the day with you was something that Jeonghan never knew he needed until it happened. As the day was coming to a close, he didn't want it to end. He enjoyed spending time with you. He still felt guilty for how he had treated you and he wished you two could have been friends all this time. Every time you made eye contact with him, his heart raced a little. When you made your little sandcastle and took photos of it with such pride, seeing you smile after a terrifying experience with your ex made him smile. Watching you fall earlier in the day into a hole in the sand sent the both of you into fits of laughter, your contagious laughter had onlookers around you laughing too. It was a sound that Jeonghan was sure he would never be tired of hearing. And when the laughter died down, and he looked out onto the ocean, that's when it hit him: he had feelings for you and oh boy, were they strong.