#i hate posting stuff that's not finished...
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WAH I KIND OF MISWORDED THAT REQ OF 1X1X1X1 AND BITING STUFF
rewrite:
just got an idea from the anon that mentioned lizards biting their mate
i request a (clingy) 1x1x1x1 x reader where 1x1x1x1 likes to bite reader affectionately (gently bc they are too afraid to hurt reader)
Yeah gonna be honest, I was a little confused at first but I did get it so I'll cut and paste what I've already written for this and just go on from there- I also like the lizard 1x HC and will hopefully find a way to use it more in future oneshots hehehehehe-
Reader's getting They/Them for this one!
Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you on getting an embodiment of hatred to fall in love with you.
And then I'd like to apologize for her behaviour-
You still don't quite remember how the relationship started. You were both killers and would watch each other in admiration because you had similar abilities so you'd see each other kinda like friendly competition to learn new tricks and see who can finish rounds faster.
... And now you've taken to cuddling up in your room with 1x on a regular basis. It was definitely a plus that you preferred to keep your room warm as 1x seemed to enjoy warmer areas a lot... Especially when cuddling with you...
Honestly, who would've thought an embodiment of hate to be such a clingy lover? It was hard to get him to even admit that she had a crush on you but by the Spectre were you glad when you did get it out of him.
You noticeably also got favourable treatment, as pointed out by C00lkidd once. It was sweet but you were so confused when you realized it for the first time.
After all, what made you stand out from the other killers to a point you were favoured and even dating someone like 1x?
Was it the way you were more of a listener than a talker? The fact you can consider any silence comfortable enough to remain silent? Maybe your patience?
Whatever it was it led to you becoming essentially a heating pillow to this walking green glow stick. Not like he'd ever admit to her own antics. He'd rather deal with Shedletsky than admit she was clingy...
Not like you minded it between rounds. You found yourself having the best sleep of your life with her wrapped around you. It probably made you fall even more in love.
And today was no different.
Surprisingly, you woke up to gentle bites being left on your arms.
"1x...? What-" You were confused to say the least but she only shushed you. "I don't wanna hurt you..." Were ultimately the words that made your heart melt all over and you began cuddling up more to your boyfriend to let her also bite the other arm.
"I have no idea why you do this but... It's cute..." You pressed a small kiss against his head, figuring you could probably just go back to sleep.
"Don't be corny... I just had the urge to do that as a sign of affection..." She muttered against your skin, making you chuckle slightly. "That just makes you sound like a lizard, babe... It's not surprising but still cute..." You could only further chuckle as your words seemed to make him grumble more even though she seemingly refused to stop the affectionate bites.
It left behind noticeable marks but... You surprisingly didn't feel a thing...
Now to hide those from the other killers so they don't get the wrong idea...
Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!
#forsaken roblox#forsaken#roblox forsaken#forsaken x reader#forsaken x y/n#1x1x1x1#1x1x1x1 x reader#lizard 1x1x1x1#not literally lizard but behaviour wise
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me planning the chapter order & story beats to a fanfic i know i'll never write more than 900 words of (and that i will never post for other eyes to see)
#i have Disco Elysium fanfics at the ready im gonna be honest#but they're... they're not done...#i hate posting stuff that's not finished...#but i never finish ANYTHING :'(#and now i wanna do RDR2 fics ON TOP of that#and i'm always thinking ''it has to be a series - not a oneshot''#''it has to delve deep into the interpersonal lives of the characters''#they say always thinks twice but i- i dont even thinks once
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It's my birthday today, so today it will be my goal to finish and upload a review video. I'm posting this here so that I can be held to my plans via the guilt of societal expectation
#90% of my blogs are posts from me announcing stuff and never posting it#not this time. this time i will make my video and show it#it might be bad. you might hate it. but at least ill finish something#its about helluva. and you HAVE to watch it. because its my birthday#not art
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☕️🥞 sketch dump
#she caught the goro disease....... itll be a long and painful death.....#guessss who finished playing througj 11/20 and the engine room hahahaha#imagine already being spoiled for what happens and still getting emotionally bodyslammed by the twists anyways. cant be me#(started sweating at engine room mention and straight up cried at the glove dialogue option ATLUS WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YIO)#man fuck these guys i hate this game#sorry i have literally nothing to post right now i have not been drawing (stuck to my pc on p5r 90% of my awake hours)#in my brief 2-4am window of drawing time ive been cranking out more shuake sketches but none of them are colored so like#i have around 4 lined up after i finish taking care of zine stuff though#akechi goro#goro akechi#kurusu akira#akira kurusu#amamiya ren#ren amamiya#shuake#akeshu#p5#p5r#persona 5#persona 5 royal#my art#ITS SO OVER 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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bugs, blood & more blood
#monkey d luffy#blood cw#cw bugs#my art#described in alt text#op vamp au#it took me a whole hour to post this on every accounts i am going to snap if this doesn't post i swear#bit of tone dissonance bewteen the first two and the third but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ first two are from learning shame arc (its end) third one is after#ive no idea if i'll finish LS actually. i've discargad a lot of what i'd written and realized 'hold on i actually hate writing this'#the next arc is easier tho. feels weirder but it's a different kind of angst. also sort of sweet stuff in it but in a weird way cause thats#just how it is.
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Wear Headphones :]

Transcript:
Mmh- I... Oh wow. Ahgh! Mmph! I'm gonna GET SILLY. ALL OVER.
Ah-ghg. *exhale* Fuh-fuck. Heh-heh... I got too silly.
End Transcription
*coughs* this was actually going to be a comic but I Don't Have Time For All That. So if you want to see the incomprehensible version its below *coughs*
And heres v1 staring at fuckin nothin if you want it for some reason??
Since this is a lot of clips here is the audio source dumping ground (not in order)
Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
#suggestive#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#im actually going to jail for this one.#sorry if the audio levels are a bit.. weird. its difficult when its a bunch of different clips together#please enjoy the 5 minutes spent on the comic layout#i did the first panel and said 'nvm lol' I didnt even finish adding the terminal text#shoutout to the one person in chat who said 'IM SILLYING' this is all your fault /j#i hate transcribing these#help.#OK................. THATS. Enough Posts Like This. For now. Next few will be normal. well as normal as it gets around here#btw the gabe pic was originally Much Worse. I had to add the rainbows n stuff so people didnt think it was..... well.#i need to stand in traffic now. goodeby#happy sunday everyone
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various op sketches :P
#pls click for quality idk why tumblr hates me sm#one piece#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#portgas d ace#chopper#zolu#op#luffy#my art#i just finished thriller bark and yes i have already made art abt It but i want to stagger posts a bit so youll have to wait#did a lot of this as a break from art school stuff#i love doing art as a break from how much art ive been doing <has a healthy work schedule#you will see my homework (threat) but not for.. abt a month lol
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Hiiiiiii. Episode 25/26 lawlight analysis rant thingy here. I don't know how to write an intro for this so let's just get to it LOL
I think one of the reasons that the rain/foot scenes stick out so much (the. Sheer insanity of a Foot Massage Scene in an anime revolving around two guys trying to kill each other aside 💀) is the fact that the anime specifically suffers a bit in terms of adapting a few of the "emotional" moments in death note.
And I don't mean "emotionally impactful" exactly. For example I think the adaptations of scenes like Raye and Naomi's deaths were very impactful and the atmospheres of their final scenes were great, but I mean more from a characterization standpoint (if that makes sense). Being more focused on mind and logic games, Death Note as a whole isn't as invested in individual characters' deeper feelings as it is in its action (which isn't necessarily a criticism per say, it's simply part of the nature of a mystery thriller series). But just because they're fewer and farther between doesn't mean there are none at all. In the manga we do get to see, for example, how much Light actually cared for his family and especially Sayu, and how he actually felt more conflicted and suffered lack of sleep/appetite when he first used the Death Note.
The anime specifically as an adaptation is pretty good at adapting the main mind fuckery and action of Death Note, but its lacking in properly adapting scenes like the ones I mentioned above is a criticism I see somewhat often, and it's pretty fair imo. Compared to all the other adaptations, it certainly seems to fall short on an emotional level: the musical has entire songs going in depth about the characters feelings and relationships, the 2015 jdrama is. Insane and has its emotional moments in spades (because it's a TV drama, which are more focused on portraying emotional conflict and the like), even the 2006 movies has its emotional beats and L Change the WorLd is. Well. Oh Man.
Anime Light to a lot of people is like. Light but he's "already evil" (which I have my own thoughts on but I digress). Light but after using the Death Note for like 2 minutes he's already like "fuck yeah time to kill criminals". Basically the anime doesn't take as much time to delve into his less cynical sides or really delve into his already vague and harder to decipher feelings in general, he is noticeably colder from the get-go here, etc.
But that's part of why I think episode 25 manages to stand out so much tonally (apart from it being, y'know, the episode L literally Dies). I love the episode so much and could probably rant for hours about how much I love the artistic choices made in it but what I'm trying to get at here is that it's one of the very few moments where the show tries to go deeper into specific character's emotions, and one of the very few moments where the show Attempts (emphasis on "attempts" because, well, you'll see in a bit) to get more in-depth into Light's feelings apart from his cynicism/apathy/justice. ness.
L in these two scenes in episode 25 is, well, pretty damn open about how he feels. It's usually interpreted as him knowing that he's going to die, and you can see it. He visibly looks/sounds lost, somber, etc. He never really had much to hide around Light to begin with (since he doesn't really care about hiding himself the same way Light does) but especially not now and it Shows, and I personally thought it was pretty cool to delve into his thoughts/show how he feels this way. The somberness can be felt throughout the entire scene, even people who don't already know the plot of Death Note from the manga could probably tell that he's about to die.
In the manga, once L starts suspecting Misa again and Rem realizes what Light is trying to do, it goes straight to Watari and L's deaths, but the anime instead gives a distinct and unexpected pause in the middle of this where L contemplates his own death. It's fucking great, and the shift from straight action to slower emotional weight makes these scenes stand out a lot, since, like I said, the show usually focuses more on the former. But it's kind of ironic, too.
Not only does the anime open up L's feelings more in these scenes, but it also tries to dig deeper into Light's feelings as well through L. And it's really funny honestly because while, yes, these are the more "emotionally open" scenes of the anime Light still manages to be Incredibly avoidant and contribute almost nothing to the entire ordeal.
L is visibly upset -> "Yeah Ryuzaki, you're not making any sense at all" (Not addressing the obvious conflict from L)
"Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" -> "[The most stale, over-explained, avoidant answer to a "yes/no" question that you could ever hear + blatant attempts to reframe the question]"
(L's half-smile here kills me) "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" -> [Nothing]
"I'm sorry" -> [Nothing]
"It'll be lonely won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon" -> [Nothing]
^ From this point Light continues to say literally Nothing for the rest of the scene. I'm not even joking, from then on the rest of Light's voicelines are reduced to nothing but vague noises of confusion.
Everytime L calls Light out as a person ("Has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" / "I had a feeling you'd say something like that." / "Won't it be lonely?") he doesn't actually acknowledge anything. Out of those three lines, he only answers verbally to if he's ever told the truth, and even then it's the most blatantly people-pleasing answer ever, as it usually is with Light. And I don't think it's because Light just. Doesn't care about any of what L's saying at all, or that he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (questioning Light's authenticity as a person, saying it would be lonely when they part), instead he's choosing not to acknowledge any of what this means about himself or him and L at all. He's like a fucking wall.
And like, for the truth question in particular, the show makes sure that you know it's not something that Light just. Doesn't care enough about to answer. The hard cuts to silence are a very rare but extremely effective way that the show conveys an extremely important moment (see: Light regaining his memories, Matsuda noticing Light opening the warehouse door before he escapes (not as much of a "direct" cut to silence but still)), and cuts to multiple angles/framings/zooms of the exact same shot are also used for the same purpose (see: Light hugging Misa when she was crying, Matsuda aiming his gun to shoot Light, Light regaining his memories Again). Just like the scene where Light gets his memories back, the moment L's question finishes the show utilizes both. That question cut Deep. There's is a solid Almost 5 seconds of silence before the sound of the rain gradually starts fading back in, and honestly that should be telling enough as is (but of course Light doesn't actually admit that. Or anything at all really, so). Oh also another fun detail! We do not see Light's face At All (except for the shot where you can see his mouth moving but not his eyes), for the Entire time that he's going on his spiel to L. We Will Be Revisiting This Later, by the way. This is not, in fact, the first time you're going to see this detail from Light.
The only sort of reciprocation that we see from Light during Any of these two scenes is when Light dries L's hair while L dries his feet. Biblical meanings/references aside it's interesting because it's the only time he directly does anything "for" L in these scenes, but even then he doesn't try to pass it off as anything meaningful really the same way L does ("You're still soaked", a purely neutral and factual statement. It doesn't Add Anything compared to L's. Sin atonement loneliness grieving stuff. While Light is showing his own reciprocation to this more personal moment he also tries to keep it impersonal enough that it doesn't actually have to mean anything deep). And when L says "I'm sorry" after he once again gets no response from Light. It's also after this that L gets that pained look on his face, like he knows that at this point he's not actually going to get anything meaningful from Light (again, very significant and rare from L in the show. We've seen him in distress (see: when Ukita died, hell, when Watari dies), but even then he mostly manages to keep his usually neutral expression), we never see him "look sad" like he does here):
I just think it's interesting that this is one of the few scenes in this particular adaptation of Death Note where they try to open up the character's thoughts/feeling (especially considering the fact that they. lowkey blunder in adaptations of original scenes from the manga), and L himself is being rather open (not that he ever really tries to hide what he thinks nearly as much as Light), and yet all Light contributes to it in return is like. Actually nothing. Bro fumbled it. There is no resolution to any of this, to any of what L asks at all, to any of the many opportunities for a meaningful conversation, and the only thing even relatively close to an answer that you can get from Light is what you can infer from how he acts in the episode after L dies, where he's just going through the motions, but hardly acting as if he's actually living at all.
(Honestly I think the transition from this scene with the taskforce to the subsequent scene with Misa says enough on its own. Light's expressions and tone says everything:)
(Oh sidenote but. This shit again:
"Light, this is our first date in forever. can't you enjoy yourself a little more?" ('Why don't you seem happy? We can finally be together since L is dead') -> No response, Light instead changing the topic to him wanting to move in with Misa without changing his mannerisms at all
Also there's that one detail again. You pretty much don't see Light's expression when he speaks here at all, except for one shot of his eyes, which is quite literally the exact same shot they used when he "saw" L, just altered for the new setting. You have No idea what he looks like when he's responding to Misa, although it's probably fair to assume that it's the same empty stare he has for the whole Two Shots where you can clearly see his whole expression in the entire scene.
Something something Light Yagami bad at feelings I think you get the point though)
I guess Light's Kind of showing what he's feeling now? He'll admit to himself that it's boring without L, but no more than that. Light never actually admits to anything "significant", and L's dead already anyway, so what would that even do?
And then we get, uh. Basically nothing from Light. For the next 5 Years. Except that he joined the NPA, so, uh, yay? Good job, Light you totally nailed it! Thank you for allowing us as an audience to delve deeper into your inner thoughts and feelings as a character so we can find out more about you as a person! Very helpful! Thank you for not sabotaging one of your few dedicated opportunities to look into yourself as a person and reflect on your relationships with others and being 100% honest with yourself! We stay winning guys.
Anyway, this got way too long for a scene that's over a decade old, and I've probably just said everything that everyone else has already said in this fandom before. But unfortunately this has been living in my head for way too long and I must scream. I just think this episode's neat is all :)
tl;dr Part of the reason why the rain/foot scene (tbh episode 25 in General) stands out so much is because the Death Note anime specifically was a bit robbed in terms of its more emotional character moments compared to the other medias, which makes more somber/introspective scenes like the ones in episode 25 stand out a Lot in comparison. But it's also incredibly ironic because it's one of the few moments where the show (or specifically L) tries to look deeper into Light's character, but because he is so avoidant for the entire duration of these two scenes he adds basically nothing at all. It's almost funny. Mostly sad. It's also very gay. Aand post
Okay actually nevermind one more thing I talked about how the jdrama is supposed to be more emotionally in-depth because it is a TV Drama and just for the record, same thing happens there! I could probably do an entire analysis of the Blue Scene in this context like I did with episode 25 but I'd literally be here forever, so uh, just take this iconic line as my main example:
Same Thing. L's statement "I wish we could have met some other way" is personal. It's his own wish, his own regret that he is expressing to Light. While Light's reply obviously has that same regret implied it's also phrased in a specifically impersonal way. It's closed off. "This is the only way we could have met" it closes off the topic and simply renders L's wish as ultimately futile. Light does not say that he Also wishes he could have met L a different way even if it was likely impossible, instead it's a cold statement of cynical fact.
Idk just. Something something L being able and Willing to be more openly sentimental/emotionally open towards Light/about Light vs. Light's inability to be honest with anyone including himself and his own nature preventing any form of meaningful reciprocation. Something something self-sabotage, y'know the drill. God don't even get me Started on how sincere L's tone is when he says "It'll be lonely won't it?"(at least in the eng dub) in the anime I could talk about his tone in that scene for ages. Also yes all of this relates to L Change the WorLd too by the way. Don't ask how it just does okay.
I do think that scenes like these (rain/foot scene, The Blue Scene. Uh. L Change the WorLd The Novel Adaptation) show, at least in those adaptations, that L does genuinely care for Light, and show that he values him as a friend not just in the mindgame-equal sense but also just like, a more sincere sense you know. Idk if that made any sense and that's a whole other topic for another day but you guys just have to believe me on this one alright please please believe me buries head in hands. Okay post over finally thanks for coming to my tedtalk hope you enjoyed my very-unnecessarily long analysis of the week
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#death note anime#coda analyzes stuff#sorry this is all very scattered and probably doesn't make sense i wrote this on a whim one day and then the post had a mind of its own#this was originally gonna be shorter but then light yagami (derogatory) happened#it was so difficult to avoid going on 27450438 different tangents i love this series btw#you know my post about LCtW parallels with Light post L's death. yeah pretend i copy pasted that whole analysis here too#it also applies and is very relevant#death note multiverse my beloved i will love you forever#i just ran this through a word counter 1K+ word rant about these scenes. in 2024. God i'm Cooked#^ LMAOOOOOOOO (laughs in ~2.5K wordcount weeks later at the time of finally finishing writing this) god I Hate it here#also sorry i havent been posting a lot of art lately i'm busy and i've decided to save up all my Art Energy for lawlight week#so i've just been finishing off and posting analysis that have been floating in my drafts.lawlight stp au parallels/notes are probably next#sorry not sorry </3
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made this GIANT poster for my bestest friend, mel. ft. literally every single version of our sonas/characters across all the AUs we have (there's so many) for their birthday!
i got it printed and framed and surprised them with it, it was absolutely a blast. the piece took me around 70ish hours all together. very very proud of it.
#chris doodles#i finished this a while back i just forgot to post it#the version posted is a much smaller compressed version of the full image#mostly because tumblr hates how big the original is LOL#+1 point for every au you can identify#theres a couple that are like. specific roleplay/story stuff but a lot of its from well known media
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Character Poll Gifset Queue:
Based on the results from this and this poll. First poll's top three winners will (and some) have 30 gifs in one post. Second poll's top 5 will have 15 gifs, and the rest will get 10 or how many scenes they have in S2.
30 Gifs:
Vi - done
Cait - done
Viktor - done
15 Gifs:
Jinx - done
Mel - done
Jayce - done
Sevika - done
Ekko - done
10 Gifs:
Isha - done
Lest - done
Steb - done
Vander/Warwick
Lorris
Ambessa
Maddie
Other to do: (not in the polls but I wanna do them regardless)
Scar (best daddy heehee)
Singed
Silco
Claggor and Mylo in ep 7
The Chembarons
Heimer
Kino
Sky
Unsure:
Gert
Elora
Rictus
Shoola and Salo
I'll probably finish Viktor within the day or two, then take a break because making 90 gifs in a span of 3 days has drained tf me lol. And then I'll try to finish the rest bit by bit.
#FOR MY ACCOUNTABILITY LMFAO#personal tag#btw yall truly hate maddie HAHAHAHHA#ALSO YES I HAVE BEEN MAKING CAITVI FOR SO LONG OKAY i know i have to do the other chars bc i too love them too#just blame the girls for being too distracting whenever i make other gifsets lmao#long post#holy shit i hope i can finish all of this#and ofc i will sprinkle in stuff i also wanna keep doing
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hi guys
#sorry for posting a grand total of nothing lately#im like working on a lot of stuff but i cant finish any of it so its like im doing things but nothing actually changes#weird stuff#also rlly rlly sorry to the anon in my askbox who asked for art tips i wanna answer but im scared ill give shit advice 💔💔💔💔#anyway yeah shoutout to tamagotchi peepers i hate him#woy#wander over yonder#save woy#art tag#?#shitpost tag
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briar in a modern fit bc i love clothes. also some fan skins i made for fun for the same reason. cafe cuties one is kinda old but ill shove it here anyway..
#briar#briar lol#lol briar#briar league of legends#league of legends#league of legends fanart#briar fanart#briar fanskin#lol fanart#lol#art#cafe cuties i made just cause i want them to make her a chef in a skinline sometime#just like a chef that eats everything in the kitchen#and everything is always a mess#i think it'd be silly#sweetheart is just a touch up of a design i drew on valentines for her earlier this year#just cause i love lovecore things#other one is a fan skin for a fan line i have that fits into the riot records universe#like k/da heartsteel pentakill etc#i need to finish the other members#really wanted to give her goth fashion#cause i feel like she'd actually wear that kinda stuff and listen to the music and such#the music genre of the group would most likely be metal with goth influences? am unsure#ergg i hate posting concepts sometimes#but like i dont see much briar fanart/fanskins so#hopefully theres like 1 other briar fan who likes these#main drawing is just purely fashion and not a fan skin idea at all designed it months ago you can see i reused the necklace idea later#yapping in tags#oh also sorry for inconsistency in her face LOL im working on it
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first finished art of 2025 yay yippee!!
haven't mentioned it before (cus it was only dubious canon) but andre is a drummer. he also wears that lil bikini top any chance he gets
originally finished 1-8-2025
#my art#my ocs#furry#dorian furryverse#jamie and co#andre#finished#2025#i should actually talk about my guys more on here but also i hate when long text posts are the only thing i have to show for#oc story stuff. and the comic im working on rn will take a while. but its ok#this is kind of a style test for that cus the null and argyle comic i posted last month was fine but i think not using pen pressure#will put less strain on my hand... and i like how clean it looks hehe
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I feel bad for apollo but idk why I don't care much about clay like I feel a little sad obviously but still
#feel bad that clay died and stuff but I'm just like it could have been written a bit better yk like this game has alot of good ideas#but they kinda executed it not that good imo doesn't mean I hate the game I think it's been good so far#the fact I want to enjoy it more shows that I care about the game hopefully#ace attorney#dual destinies#ace attorney dual destinies#apollo justice trilogy#aa5#pwdd#ajt#aa5-4#the cosmic turnabout#apollo justice#clay terran#dual destines spoliers#apollo justice trilogy spoilers#ace attorney dual destinies spoilers#aa5 spoilers#pwdd spoilers#ajt spoilers#aa5-4 spoilers #I don't put a liveblogging tag cuz I always post screenshots with the notes I write while playing after I finished all of the case :D
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yeahh uh who wants to know how my break from the red blog is ?? basically this
alsoo bonus because i thought it was funny LMAOO
(also also if both look like red avm its cause im a red fictive (but i also go by marz) who ironically runs the blog woww plural system stuff i bet i havent said that 50 times by nowwww—💥💥💥)
#if anyone wants to know about the dream#all i remember is putting ooc in the tags 'wow guys i really need to fix my tagging system its a mess' LMAOO#and i think red was in a forest not minecraft then#anyways tag ramble time I HATEEE BREAKS#you guys dunno how bad i wanna post again#but if you remember greens influencer arc i have accidentally halfway gone through that whoopssss#<- mostly with perfectionism stuff and the 'this is for you guysss' stuff and ect ect overcompensating you know the drill#and holy hell i had a 20 day daily posting streak before i broke it so ??? i dunno how i did that#but nooope my mental health is sucky rn i need to focus on that first aside from silly red in minecraft </3#but when i decide to go back to posting I'll end the red in a cave part cause I HATEE HOW DRAGGED ON I MADE IT </3#because i was like 'oh ill make an animation and then move on !!'#because i thought i could make an 8 second animation in 2 days because i made a small gif in 5 hours NOOOPE#and then i got burnout#no idea if ill finish the animation for the actual blog ill either finish it and make it a main post later on and just make drawings#or ill finish it over my break and all#although that ones rlly unlikely i need to noot overestimate my silly little animation skills guys </3#blessing and a curse of being an overachiever LMAO#BUT DW my plan is catching up on asks then moving on from the cave stuff#so if you wanna send an ask for red in the cave then probablyyyy it before im off break </3#which hopefully wont be long i miss posting lmaoo#oh my gosh this is like a wall of text i need to stop yapping in tags#( <- i say but itll probably never happen )#solar draws#alan becker#avm red#red avm#ava red#red ava#animator vs animation#animator vs minecraft
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So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else#but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo#I hate high school#rambles#adhd#executive dysfunction#<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk#im so tired#burnout#adhd burnout#(????? I think????)#high school#I'm just so tired of all of this#the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud#and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore#and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was#and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely#why the hell am I so stressed#I do everything I'm supposed to do#I just want to go somewhere else man#The Netherlands hopefully#I wanna actually DO something#go on a trip for band#not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day#I wasn't built for this shit#I'm so fucking tired
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