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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years

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What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'

-’Falling’ by Harry Styles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRDKoMcgavw

I’ve seen and read a lot of fanfictions where it’s told from the POV of one character and that inspired me to write this but... it’s not happy... much... and Harry Styles’ song just also inspired me to write out this fairly sad piece because that song is such a tearjerker man..

I like to this of this as an inside look of the witch's mind and thoughts as well as her opening up about her issues.

WARNING: This small piece contains mentions and/or references to suicide and intrusive thoughts. Reader discretion is advised.

Interestingly... I've come to realize that Amy's behavior makes sense if you know what Borderline Personality Disorder is and what the symptoms are. Many of which she actually checks out for. I study a lot of psychology in my spare time and to my surprise, Amy ended up showing some symptoms even though I swear to God it wasn’t my intention, it just kinda... ended up like that.

For more info or insight on BPD:

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/comic-perfectly-shows-jealousy-looks-232343129.html

https://psychcentral.com/lib/loving-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder/

Amy’s POV:

Apparently most children get their quirks at the age as early as 3 or 4, but when I was 4 years old I didn’t get mine. 5, 6,7,8,9, still nothing. That was it, I guess that just meant I was going to be quirkless forever, on the bright side at least I would be part of a minority that I could one day fight for I thought. If I’m gonna be quirkless I would own it. That’s what I told myself.

But then one day when I was 9 years old I woke up over my bed, floating around my room until my mom came in to make sure I came down safely. She told me everything, how her side of the family has a bloodline of witches that dates all the way back in the 1800’s and one of my great great great grandmothers or something had the same genetic affliction. Just like that everything became different, when I thought it was awesome at first, started to learn just what I am and who I am, and the history of all the great witches of the past. Slowly but surely I discovered more powers about myself, more powers I would one day learn.

Everything was brilliant… until the following year my parents were killed by witch hunters. Dad wasn’t even a witch, he was just an ally, he loved my mom and I more than anything, and they killed him for that. Worst part? When the heroes got to me before I could get barbecued, they didn’t even kill them.

I suppose that’s where it all begins though, after that they decided I wasn’t going to be safe enough here and that my new powers that were manifesting would be too much for them to handle. And because they didn’t want to deal with me, they called on the other witches on the other side of the world. From then on out, I had to leave my old life behind, my best friend and his family who treated me like family. I went from orphaned, to abandoned, to a bloodbath.

As soon as I got to New Orleans everything else was just as unsafe. Asshole frat boys, an actual Minotaur man, fucking zombies, voodoo witches and of course MORE witch hunters trying to kill us. And also an immortal racist, a Frankenstein Frat boy, a tongueless butler who has tea parties and sex with dead teenage girls, a wicked voodoo deity and an old, axe-wielding serial killer that was once a ghost in Robichaux. Yup. But that’s just a perfectly average day at Robichaux, and a perfectly average day in my fucked up life.

At least I had my sisters like Zoe, Madison and Misty, and Ms. Cordelia and how can I forget Ms. Myrtle? That woman needs to be a fashion icon and I will do justice by her and make sure the world knows who she was. And even Ms. Fiona. The bitch who used to be in charge was pretty badass, I mean if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be the strong, independent witch bitch I am today. Yeah I have a ton of issues because of the borderline emotional abuse she dished out on me and the other witches but still...

My new sisters were by far the least terrible part of the entire thing. Which is why it still breaks my heart to think about how some of them died, because not all of them came back...

Through all of that I kept myself up though. I learned how to fight back and fight alongside my sisters. I learned how to be strong, how to rely on myself and my sisters because we knew that no hero was going to come to our rescue. I had to be strong, I had to have thick skin and an elastic heart. Yeah that’s right I referenced Sia, she’s an awesome singer, just like Stevie Nicks. Amazing women, inspiring...

Sorry, getting off-topic. Anyhoo, I’ve realized though that it’s better that way. Being with the witches showed me the truth of the world, how the world looks at us and how it wants us to look. We have to be perfect, we have to be charming, we have to smile and look pretty. Why? Because the heroes have to be there to save the cute and pretty damsel in distress so they can feel powerful.

This idea of heroes and villains is really all just bullshit... all of these villains I’ve seen thus far... they’re kittens compared to the evils and horrors I’ve seen here. It’s not just New Orleans, but I mean Bloody Face was a monster back in the 50′s, then the man who made the Hotel Cortez, he was pure evil and still haunts that hotel to this day. James Patrick March. Evil. Pure Evil and he murdered just to feel something, innocent people who didn’t deserve it. Dr. Arthur Arden, a.k.a Hans Gruper, the Nazi doctor who hid under a disguise and performed horrifying experiments on humans in the insane asylum of Briarcliff. Instead of helping those poor people, he just murdered, butchered and tortured them for his sick experiments. So many lives ruined, mutilated. The victim’s last moments were nothing but pain and a desperate wish for death until he put a bullet through their heads.

Murders, monsters, all of them. They all murdered for fun, and then even normal people were evil, the ones who valued their pride and selfish desires over anything and destroyed innocence itself just to achieve that.

Those are the real evil people. All For One? Overhaul? Shigaraki? They couldn’t slice a loaf of bread with the amount of sharpness they had all put together.

Those ‘villains’ that All-Might and my friend Midoriya have fought thus far are nothing compared to the monsters I’ve seen. They’re all a bunch of kitty cats, but I’ve seen and known killers. Real killers. Real monsters.

A woman from an old asylum once said that ‘all monsters are human’ and she was right, because the monsters I’ve seen were humans. The worst of humanity and I've seen it all. What heroes choose to ignore though is that it's in all of us, and that those who choose not to do shitty things is what makes a hero apoarently. What a crock of shit...

But I guess monsters are just another thing that the heroes like to glamorize so they can fight and save the world from what they deem as the real monsters of the world. When I showed that I wasn’t a sweet and gentle girl as he believed, Midoriya looked at me like I was a monster, which just proved to me that he’s a part of what I’m fighting, and that that’s what this society wants, a good little girl who does good things all for the sake of this society. And I’m a monster because I’m not a good little girl, my sisters aren’t good little girls, no, we’re not a bunch of sad girls who are just waiting to be rescued, we’re witches. We’re not giving those motherfuckers the satisfaction of saving the poor damsels in distress because we’re not, we’re powerful and we don’t owe them anything, not a thanks, not a hug, not a flash of our tits and especially not a goddamn smile that men just love to see on women.

Men like that are afraid of women like us, they’re afraid of women who aren’t afraid to get ugly and dirty our hands with blood. Afraid of women like me. And I learned how to fight, I was able to keep myself flying, because that was my first power, flight. I can fly based on how I feel, or on how much willpower I put into it. My power comes from my emotions and no fucking misogynist can tell me my emotions make me weak because I can do anything I want based on how I feel and how much willpower I have.

Lately though, it’s been nothing but willpower, as the older I get the more I realized that I’m not loved in this place. I wouldn’t be missed if I disappeared and I know it. I know it. But in life young people like me have to keep going even though we’re also gifted with the power of being painfully aware of all the bullshit that adults try to tell us is the truth, but we know better than that, they just don’t get that we’re not as stupid as we look. Although the sad part is, some of us ARE and they buy into the bullshit and try so hard to be the perfect little shitheads these assholes want us to be.

I can’t do that though, that’s not me. I wish it was sometimes though, who knows, maybe if I was that kind of person then maybe I would be liked by everyone, but that’s not me. Maybe that’s why I won’t be missed, maybe that’s why I’m forcing myself to fly every damn day just to make it through. Forcing myself to pretend that everything’s fine and smiling like a fucking idiot just to make everyone happy and not let them be miserable as me, but this shit’s hard, it’s hard to act like you’re okay when you’re not.

And I’m too aware of this shit, too aware to be truly ignorant and I call people out if I think they sound ignorant. So I’m not surprised when they end up leaving me or trying to tell me to be nicer and that I shouldn’t be blaming anybody or anything just because I’m a cynical and miserable bitch. Yeah, I’m a bitch but I can’t help it. At least I know my shit, I’d rather be a miserable bitch than an ignorant one.

Yet here I am, constantly miserable, constantly thinking and constantly aware that I’m nobody’s favorite person.

That’s just it. I’m not surprised by anything, because everything I do, everything I say, there’s always something bad behind it, that’s the idea I give everyone. I know it, it shouldn’t bother me but apparently, I can’t bring myself to fly because I’m happy, because I’m not. And then there’s always something that shows up in my life, something to make me feel some type of way, not a good way though. I can’t help the way I react to some things, I wish I could though, a normal person would be able to just go out and live life the way everyone else does. But I’m not normal. I never was. And every single day I’m reminded of it, every single day I remind myself it.

Every time I fly it’s through willpower alone, not because I’m so excited that my feelings can make me fly. No, lately I haven’t been able to feel a goddamn thing, and ironically that’s what hurts the most.

For someone who’s first gift was flight and for someone who’s powers allow them to fly, I’m just… falling.

Constantly, every time I fly, I just feel like I’m falling as the weight of this world just keeps beating me down until one day I eventually hit rock bottom. I don’t expect anyone to catch me, not even my loved ones. I feel like I’ve hurt them enough. Everyone I love, I end up hurting in some way because I’m just a jealous, overzealous, toxic and cynical bitch. I don’t deserve them and they don't deserve this. All this poison, all this anger and problems, I don't want that for them.

So I don’t tell them that I’m falling when I’m flying. If I’m gonna fall, I’m not going to drag them down with me.

Rock bottom almost doesn’t sound like a bad idea at this point. There are times where I get so frustrated with everything, so angry and so pissed off that I need to get away from everything and everybody and I let myself fly upwards. I just fly as high as possible, so high that I’m in the clouds and I can no longer see the rest of the world beneath me.

God... sometimes I get so high that I just want to stay up there. I want to stay feeling so high and so powerful like nothing can stop me. I’m invincible when I’m up so high. And yet that honestly terrifies me too, because when I’m up so high I forget everything, even the things and the people I don’t want to forget. How could I ever want to forgive some of the people I love the most?

When I remember them, that’s when I regain my vision and I start to see how high I’ve gotten, and how far it is to go back down. Everyone can see me and they can see how far I’ve gone, even up that high I can still see their disappointed faces and that just no longer makes me feel so invincible anymore. Because then I start to think ‘here I am’ up on top and yet I’m all alone up here.

Sometimes when I’m up that high is when I start to think about just letting go of the willpower and letting myself fall from such a distance, close my eyes and just let everything go. Let the gravity just bring me back down until I hit the ground.

And then I wonder, would that matter at all? Would it be better that way?

But as usual, I can never think of a fucking answer… other than that I should probably just go back home because I have people waiting for me. Ashlen, Hitoshi, Katsuki, Madison... I hope they're not too worried about me... I know they want to see me come home even though I’m the last person I want around, and I honestly don’t know how they want me around.

Yet I guess it’s enough to make myself fly a little more, just to go back to them, because in the end I feel a little bit of something when I’m with them. They’ve moved my wicked heart, even when I think I’m better off dead, they make me fly.

I don’t know if I saved myself, or if it’s them who saved me, because frankly it’s too late to save me, but I’m still here. I’m still here so I can go home and see them.

God... I haven’t been home for a while, but I’m on my way back home, I know they’re waiting for me, probably worried about me too.

Ash, Toshi, Katsu, Mads... You guys don’t have to worry, I’m coming home now. After all, I wouldn’t miss seeing your smiles for the world.

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boycottphil · 5 years

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Omg if you're writing usuk can you please do something involving the Beatles/Beatlemania or the British Invasion in general? Theres so much good material there but no one really writes about it. I will love you forever

For context, I am taking fanfic requests!

This was a lot of fun to write! I wasn’t too sure if this is what you meant, anon, but if it’s not, feel free to send another ask! I’d be happy to write more. Anyway, enjoy!

Pairing: UsUk Rating: T Warnings: Strong language, mentions of blood, smoking (cigarettes) Word count: 2026

Imagine hundreds of thousands of people screaming your name. Imagine hundreds of thousands of people obsessing over your every step, word, move… Imagine loving every second of the intrusive behaviour displayed by fans.

Arthur, the lead singer of the “best band in history,” lived off of such things. Fame… It brought him joy, joy which he previously thought was impossible for him to feel. He was surrounded by security, yet his favourite moments were those when a fan managed to get to him, and looked at him with amazement in their eyes…

Looked at him as if he were a god.

[[MORE]]

Now, one could say that such thoughts and such behaviour was perhaps a bit… unhealthy. And one would be right. Arthur was sick; getting off on his own fame, and as he gathered more and more fans all over the world with each tour, he felt better. And better.

His band was good, not the best band in the world, per say, but definitely good. Their music was largely enjoyed by a female audience. Girls loved to imagine the songs being sung to them personally. They were written to be perceived that way. No names of girls were mentioned… no hints at any particular gender were given either.

Now, there were rumours, as there always are surrounding any band as huge as Arthur’s. Rumours like selling their souls to the devil, rumours like being robots invested by the government. Rumours like… being gay.

Arthur could only benefit from rumours that claimed he was an alien. It added more mystery to his character, more reasons for people to check out his music, come to his concerts. However…

Rumours that claimed he was gay could destroy his career. The thing is… he is gay. He does not fancy women at all. He couldn’t care less when girls form whole crowds and take off their shirts and bras. He didn’t care about his bandmate’s groupies offering threesomes or foursomes or ogies. He’d rather bang his bandmates if he didn’t despise them all.

He came quite close to having his career ruined, though.

One day, while touring the United States, they stopped in middle-of-nowhere-town of some State that Arthur thought was made up by the Americans to make it to 50 states in the first place. He was still convinced there aren’t 50 of them, but 10 divided into five parts each. But he would not express that opinion. Lest someone shot him for even mentioning the USA in any context that doesn’t presents it as the best country on the planet.

It was a town they were merely passing through, but they had to stop for fuel and food and for the drivers to rest a bit as well. Arthur wore his sunglasses and had clothes on that he wasn’t known for wearing, and decided to walk around town a bit. They had a few hours, and he wasn’t about to pass the opportunity to stretch his legs and turn off his brain a bit. Touring meant little walking and too much work, so moments such as those were few and far between.

He had purchased a box of cigarettes, which he planned to get through before he had to be locked in a fast moving vehicle again; in which he wasn’t allowed to smoke. With a fag already lit and dangling off his lips, he walked out onto the pavement, ready to resume his walk just when…

He was bumped into by some 5 foot 6 tall boy. He groaned as his cigarette fell into a puddle, together with his sunglasses. He grumbled and hurried to retrieve his glasses but, well… the kid already saw.

“Arthur Kirkland?! No way!!” He yelled too loudly, his voice far too deep for what Arthur assumed was a 13 year old boy.

“Shh!” Arthur shushed and then wrapped an arm around the other’s head and covered his mouth so he couldn’t make more noise. He felt screaming behind his hand and the boy seemed to be losing his mind just from being touched. Arthur did love attention… but not in some hick town when he was looking for a quiet place to smoke and meditate until he had to leave again.

He dragged the other into an alley- not a suspicious thing to do at all- and shushed him until the other stopped freaking out. He rambled about being touched and carried by Arthur, all of which was technically true, but it sounded so much more dramatic coming out of the kid’s mouth.

“Okay, listen here, kid-” he started, but was promptly interrupted.

“Kid? I’m 19!” He argued.

Arthur looked annoyed, but slightly less on-edge about dragging him into a dark alley. “Whatever, mate. Just stop screaming like a bloody schoolgirl. I don’t want this whole town to know we’re here. The paparazzi would hound us for hundreds of miles, like they did in the last town this happened in.” He explained as he lit his second cigarette- he was mourning the first.

“So you really are Arthur Kirkland?” The other asked, already taking off the backpack he had on and reaching for the first paper and pen he had. “Would you please sign this?” He asked, his bright blue eyes shining in anticipation.

Arthur frowned, but he took the pen and, without really looking or even thinking about it, produced a perfect loopy signature.

“Whoaa… That’s so cool! My name’s Alfred so could you…”

Arthur added, ‘for Alfred, stay cute’ at the bottom, as he does for all signatures, merely replacing the name.

“You think I’m cute?! Wow, Arthur Kirkland thinks I’m cute!!” Alfred said, his voice so high pitched in excitement that Arthur almost really did think he was cute.

“No, mate- I write that for everyone. Most of my fans are girls, you see and-” once again, he was interrupted.

“But you do think I’m cute! I can tell. You keep looking at me,” Alfred insisted, perhaps a bit cheekily. Arthur blinked, trying not to seem too taken aback.

“I, uh… I don’t… What?” He was usually never speechless. He always had a way to make a fan swoon over him with smooth comebacks and flirty lines that made girls go absolutely mad. But this was a boy. A boy who had called him out on his obvious interest in him, and a boy who, while excited to see him, clearly didn’t think he was a god.

Weird. He was supposed to always be seen as a god. What else could he be seen as?

“So… if you could keep this meeting to yourself for the next 24 hours, that would be bloody fantastic. Now, if you excuse me…” he mumbled and started walking away. He thought Alfred would be satisfied enough with that; he got an autograph and a hug- sort of. But no…

“So where are you headed now?” Came the American voice of the 19 year old who just decided to tag along.

Arthur felt his blood beginning to boil just a bit. “That is literally none of your business. Literally.” He sighed, exasperated.

Alfred fell into step beside him, keeping up easily even as the Brit tried to speed up. “Aw, come on! I won’t tell. I know how to keep secrets! I’m great at it. This one time, my cousin Austin, he told me that he and his aunt on his mum’s side-”

Arthur stopped abruptly. “How the fuck are you good at keeping secrets?”

“Well… I… You don’t know my cousin Austin, do you?”

Arthur groaned and kept walking, now deciding to ignore Alfred entirely. The teen though; he decided that he would ignore Arthur ignoring him. The Brit continued walking and smoking his cigarette as if Alfred wasn’t right there, and talking his ears off about dinosaurs and spaceships and how much he loved boys and how he knew Arthur could relate and-

Wait.

They had at that point reached a park, which was perhaps the size of two average backyards. There was no one around, and Arthur really appreciated it.

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked, his blood really getting to a simmer.

“Well, you know… You’ve never been seen with a girl, you never touch girls, you don’t talk about girls, you don’t even seem interested to all the girls we just passed while getting here. At all. You’re gay, and I can tell,” Alfred claimed.

“I have absolutely no idea where you get those ideas from. How would you know what I do in my free time?” He crossed his arms, perhaps a bit defensively.

“You look at my lips and arms so much, and you’ve looked at my ass too. I’m not dumb, you know! There’s no shame in being gay, Arthur. It’s all just-”

Arthur was angry at that point. He threw his half finished cigarette to the ground and stepped on it, then turned to face Alfred. “I don’t know who you think you are, but if you’re gay and you think making up lies is going to turn me gay, then forget about it. All right? I don’t even mess with groupies in the first place. Would you kindly leave me the fuck alone now?” He said loudly, keeping his composure enough not to yell at this kid.

“You’re just mean and in denial because you think if you come out that girls will stop obsessing over you. That’s okay. If you don’t want a groupie because all of them are girls, that’s understandable. But I mean… I’m free. I ran away from home a week ago. I have nowhere to be so… I could come with you. Warm your bed at night. Maybe do a few more other things too. Like ride you while you-”

Arthur punched him. He got too heated, too angry, amd he just… threw the punch. His knuckles ached after, and Alfred was holding onto his bleeding nose. It didn’t seem broken, but knowing the consequences of literally punching someone, Arthur began briskly walking away.

He should have expected to see the American again, before he even managed to walk down half a block. How he could cradle a bloody nose and run after him was a miracle.

“That was so rude!! I did not deserve to be fucking punched, man! I was just teasing you, dude! It’s literally not my fault that you are hiding your repressed homosexuality-”

“Stop. Calling. Me. Gay.” He growled, taking one step closer to the teen with each word uttered.

Alfred was practically pinned to a wall just then, looking up at the Brit with wide blue eyes. He was tall and handsome and…

And he kissed Alfred before he could get socked again. Instead of being pushed away and hit, as Alfred expected he would, he was pulled closer and kissed intensely enough to have all the air sucked out of his lungs.

Arthur pulled away seconds later, practically pushing himself off Alfred. Even behind his sunglasses, his eyes looked wide and shocked at what he had done. He looked around, then took Alfred’s hand and ran toward the bus.

He fucked up. He fucked up big time. But that’s okay… No one saw. And if he just kept Alfred with him on tour at all times… No one would find out that he was gay. At all.

“Is everything you need in that backpack?” He asked Alfred, out of breath from running, once they arrived at the bus.

“Yeah, why?” He asked and took off his backpack so he could take some tissues out and clean the blood off his face.

“Good. You’ll be coming with us on tour,” Arthur stated bluntly, not even bothering to listen for a yes or a no. Alfred grinned like a kid and hopped into the bus behind Arthur, already reaching out to cop a feel of his favourite singer’s ass.

Needless to say, Arthur did get himself a groupie. Involuntarily. And now every day became a series of “I almost outed myself to my millions of crazy fans.” It could be worse. At least he sleeps with a cute and annoying twink every night.

#hetalia #Anonymous #usuk #ukus #aph england #aph america #arthur kirkland #alfred f jones #beatlemania #i think #i mean i tried rlly hard n i think i did well #aph

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talesfromthefade · 6 years

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(havesomedragonage)) Helllllo. I am SO in the mood for some dang shy kisses for DWC, for any character/pairing of your choice!!!

Marina Amell x Alistair Theirin, for @dadrunkwriting Their first kiss, because these two are adorable and horrible/awkward at the same time about talking around their feelings, turning two totally competent adults into shy, joking, and blushing messes with each other. It was too cute not to write.

It’s a quiet moment. A rare thing amongst such a large collection of followers and with some of the more chatty members of their party. But Marina volunteered to refill their water supplies while the rest of their companions set up camp, and as usual, her fellow Grey Warden had accompanied her. It’s rather pretty here. Untouched by Darkspawn or the Taint, at least for now. A cool and gentle breeze rustling through the reeds and grasses along the bank to tickle at the hem of her robes.

She could wear something else, she supposes. More substantial armor of some sort. If not something like Alistair’s, which is almost certainly far too heavy for her, perhaps leathers like Zevran or Leliana. Except that she fights best from a range, supporting her fellows from a nearby higher-up position, and her rock armor spell is generally more than sufficient enough to fend off blows from any melee attacks during their usual encounters. She’d never actually thought to leave the tower that had been her home for most of her life, but she’s not ashamed of what she is. It seems foolish somehow to start now. So she wears robes that- in the grays and blues of the order’s colors- easily distinguish her as one gifted with magic with a certain level of pride. Alistair, despite his upbringing and training, whatever his initially jokes about being turned into a frog, or his turbulent relationship with their apostate companion, seems to accept this and take it all in stride as much as any other decision she makes.

Alistair’s understanding of magic, like a great many Templars, may be a bit over-simplistic, but he’s not afraid of her or what she can do. He respects and trusts her as an equal, at times even as his better, though Marina’s not altogether certain she deserves that much. And now that Wynne has joined them, it’s clear it’s not simply a matter of choosing to overlook or like her in-spite of her arcane gifts, but rather this is yet another thing to appreciate about her. And however sheltered life in the Circle may have been at times, Marina hasn’t failed to notice Alistair’s appreciation. It’s doubtful any of their companions have, though he’s been respectfully silent and clearly making an effort to be more subtle about it since their trip to the Tower.

Marina knows from speaking with him about his years under the Templar order Alistair never made it to the point in his training of receiving his first draught of Lyrium, but it's difficult to imagine him patrolling the various levels and rooms of the Circle. Of attending Harrowings...

“Alistair?”

“Yesssss,” Alistair replies with a slight grin as he stoppers another skin and places it on the bank beside them, turning his attention and gaze to her. Marina bites the inside of her lip, suddenly unsure about voicing the question that moments before had been on the tip of her tongue. “Sovereign for your thoughts,” he prompts gently with a chuckle.

“A sovereign?” Alistair shrugs, still smiling.

“Wynne said you were a star pupil. Your thoughts have got to be worth more than a couple of Bits.” Marina laughs softly, fighting the urge to blush.

“Wynne was being kind.”

“I don’t think so,” Alistair replies, shaking his head. “Well, I mean, she is. Sometimes. With the right people and when she wants to be. But, not about that. Duncan said as much too, that when he asked about recruits First-Enchanter Irving was sad to see you go, but couldn’t have spoken higher of you. And I’ve seen you. When we’re fighting, or just the little stuff- getting our fires started, the wards around camp… You’re great. I-” Alistair hesitates, scrunching his nose and brow in something between concentration and frustration. “Look, I don’t know much about magic, obviously. Or talking to people- or women… Raised by dogs, you know,” he chuckles softly with a sheepish sort of grin as the tips of his ears are beginning to go pink with embarrassment. “But I think you’re- yeah, I think you’re great. Fantastic.”

“Anybody ever tell you how handsome you are?” It’s not the question Marina had first thought to ask of him, but truthfully his compliments have so disarmed her, she’s loathe to bring up something potentially dark and ruin it all. Moments like this, like the rose still safely kept in a pouch at her waist, are all too fleeting. They none of them know how much time they have left, which day or battle might be their last. She and Alistair haven’t known one another for very long. This thing between them could be nothing, perhaps only the product of close proximity, the enormous amount of pressure and responsibility that has been thrust upon them, or needing someone to lean on, but it doesn’t feel like that. It feels like something more, or that it could be, and Marina has had her time to mourn old loves lost and things that were never meant to be. Perhaps she and Alistair aren’t either, but she’s done pretending she wouldn’t at least like to find out.

“Not unless they were asking me for a favor,” Alistair replies slowly. “Well, there was that one time in Denerim, but those women were… not like you,” the warrior adds, before quirking his head to offer her an appraising look. “Why? Is this your way of telling me you think I’m handsome?”

“And if it is? What then?”

“Oh nothing much,” he says, smile growing a little wider as he speaks. “I just get to grin a bit and look foolish for a while. So… is this the part where I get to say the same?”

“Not unless you don’t think so.”

“Oh, I think so. I’ll just spring it on you when it’s a surprise,” Alistair chuckles.

For a moment, Marina thinks of springing her own surprise on him, eyes lingering a little too long on his mouth as his laughter and the mere fact they can laugh, that they can find moments and happiness like this here and now amidst so much does something in her belly. It would be so easy to bridge the small space between them, to find his lips with hers, but something holds her back, if only for a moment. Uncertainty, not of the rightness of it, but her skill, her experience- or more accurately the lack thereof. Her fellow Warden has been obvious in his admiration, but slow in his pace, and Marina doesn’t want to screw this up.

“Alistair,” she ventures softly, worrying her lip. “If you were raised in the Chantry, have you never…”

“Never…? Never what? Had a good pair of shoes?”

“You know what I mean,” Marina mutters, feeling her cheeks turn red as she suddenly busies herself with avoiding his gaze for a moment to compose herself again.

“I’m not sure I do,” Alistair replies, and she can hear the smile in his voice. “Have I never seen a Basilisk. Ate a jellied ham? Have I never licked a lamppost in winter?”

“Now you’re just making fun of me.”

“Make fun of you, dear lady? Perish the thought. Well, tell me: have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?” There’s a slowness, a kind of teasing emphasis that he puts on the question, drawing out his ‘L’s that sees the blush returning to her cheeks once more following a warm and instinctive clench between her thighs even as he’s clearly once more making jokes to attempt to diffuse any sort of tension. Maker’s breath.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Marina mutters, shaking her head. “Have you ever slept with anyone before?”

“Oh, so that’s what we’re talking about. I admit I’ve never had a woman just… come out and ask me like this, that’s for sure.”

Flames, Marina thinks, blushing still harder, even in her attempts to be cautious she’s making a mess of it all. She’s a competent enough mage, certainly, but there are times now she’s living outside the Circle where it’s clear she’s woefully under-prepared for certain day to day, or means and topics conversations non-mages or Tower residents simply don’t have. “I, myself,” Alistair continues, taking her by surprise in choosing to answer her possibly too intrusive question anyway, “never had the pleasure. Not that I haven’t thought about it, of course, but… you know. Living in the Chantry is not exactly a life for rambunctious boys. They taught me to be a gentleman, especially in the presence of beautiful women such as yourself. That’s not so bad, is it?”

“Found a way to slip that in there sooner than I expected,” Marina smiles softly at the compliment.

“You don’t seem terribly surprised, though,” Alistair points out with a mock pout, earning a laugh. “Well, I don’t suppose you would be. It doesn’t seem possible you wouldn’t know it. You’re ravishing, resourceful, and all those other things you’d probably hurt me for not saying.”

“I would never hurt you, Alistair. Not if it could be helped.” Alistair’s goofy answering smile looks entirely pleased and certain as he nods.

“No, I don’t believe you would. Nor would I.”

“And no, to answer your earlier question,” Marina offers a bit shyly. “I don’t think that’s bad.”

“Good,” Alistair nods. “You’d want a gentleman to court you, wouldn’t you? If… if you were to be courted by someone, that is,” he adds hastily.

“I think I’d like that. With the right gentleman.”

“Ha, that’s good to know. Though, I wouldn’t really know how to go about it in practice,” Alistair admits in an uncharacteristic show of nerves and earnestness.

“Is that what this is,” Marina probes, slowly pushing the waterskins and buckets they’ve collected between them to the side. “Or, what you’d like it to be?”

“Maaaaayybeeee,” he hedges, chewing a little on his bottom lip.

“I’d like that,” Marina nods.

“Yes?”

“Yes,” she nods, smiling softly. Marina doesn’t hesitate any longer to act on the impulse that’s been in the back of her mind since they broke away from camp together, scooting forward until their knees are touching and reaching out to cup his jaw. He leans forward as she does until their lips find one another in a sweet and tender kiss.

#dadrunkwriting #alistair x warden #alistair theirin #amell #alistair x amell #dragon age: origins #da:o #dragon age #tales:marina #marina amell #bekahdawn21

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tardytothepardy · 3 years

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Fruits Basket - Vol.10

This one was weird.

So it mainly took place at the summer house that Momiji,,, rented out? Something. It show-cased that swimsuit that Uotani and Hanajima grouped together (I guess Yuki and Kyo were also there, but they didn't seem to contribute much) to get for Tohru. She looks cute, it's great. There were some fun splashy-splashy, Tohru showing off her flawless swimming technique, which seems to just be gogogogogogogogogogogogoholyshitican'tbreathegogogogogogogogo, very sustainable, overall. 7/10, accounting for form and speed.

A large handful of the other Sohma family members were invited, such as Hiro and Kisa. Hiro is still miffed at Tohru for existing, but y'know it's fine. He actually ends up asking a pretty important question, one that hadn't really occurred to me, specifically about Tohru's past and her family. It's something that isn't really brought up much, so I'm glad that he asked. No one else is, but I am.

The question in question comes up when Tohru, Momiji, Hiro, and Kisa are setting up stuff so they can find stag beetles (which,,, is an activity), and Tohru's picture of Kyoko falls out of her picture. Hiro gives it back to her, then asks why Tohru only talks about her mom. Tohru doesn't really give an answer, she just gets kinda quiet for a moment, then she moves on. But like, yeah! Why doesn't she talk about her dad? He's rarely mentioned. All I know about him is that he's dead, and that, compared to her mom, he was kinda boring. He was very polite, which is where Tohru gets it from. I'm sure there's been a scene with him in it, but I couldn't tell you where it was.

Kisa doesn't like that Hiro just dropped the question on Tohru, and becomes upset with him. It's just a lot of misses with Hiro,,, he tries to do things to make Kisa happy, but then he just does shit and somehow she's angry again. Wamen is mystery... (He did later apologize to Kisa for it, it's fine)

Anyway, we shift gears entirely (we have gone from a manual to an automatic, that's the entirety of the gears we have just shifted) to Tohru's homeroom teacher. She's there. I don't know her name. But she's in a bookstore, her parent's bookstore, apparently, and Shigure's there, being vaguely antagonistic (he just seems to do that). Apparently they used to "date", though it seemed to just to be not even a façade. The reason they used to date is because Shigure saw that she (this teacher character whose name is unknown to me) (I have looked through the book again, her name is Mayu) liked Hatori, but at the time, Hatori was with his then-girlfriend, Kana. So obviously, Mayu didn't pursue Hatori, that'd be a douchebag thing to do. Still, she had feelings for him.

Flash back to present day, we have Shigure saying that Hatori has a girlfriend now, it's a whole thing yaknow, which doesn't feel particularly great on Mayu's end. Hatori himself comes in the next day, apparently he asked for a book or something, and she actually manages to ask him about his girlfriend. He is confused, because he doesn't have one, where did she get the idea? Mayu's feelings are in a fantastic turmoil, because she feels that there's no way she could try to be with Hatori, because she had seen what happened to Kana when they separated, she was a mess, and then the whole memory removal/repressing thing, it's a lot. She can't imagine how bad it must be for Hatori, it'd be intrusive. But on the other hand,,,,, man is pretty, so. Go for it lmao.

In the process of "going for it, lmao" though, she just,, is kinda a bit of a mess. Before Hatori actually shows up, her mom shows up and is like, "Ehh why aren't you married you're so old" (she's probably in her 30s) "you need to be married wahhh" and then when her mom sees Hatori walk in, she's like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) "ho ho, you're gonna marry this man, right?" which is like,, really unhelpful, Mayu's mom. She's already going through a lot, so when Hatori steps up to the counter and says all of "H-" she pushes him out of the store and out to,,, somewhere, I'm not sure. It might just be outside the store, I don't really know. It looks like a bridge or something. It's weird.

Anyway, she starts thinking about how he doesn't look particularly happy, which I guess she finds weird because she thinks he has a girlfriend, and she saw how happy he was with Kana, and so I guess things aren't adding up for her. She goes on this rant that if he's not happy, then the sky isn't blue or something, and I'm just kinda confused this whole time. Am I supposed to be confused, like this is just one huge vent for Mayu to Hatori, and we're just stuck reading this. After she says some stuff, she just starts fuggin bawling, absolutely wailing, people are staring, Hatori's basically like "Hey, what, no, stop, stop crying, no" (which is my favorite reaction that characters have to other characters crying because that is also my reaction), and once Mayu calms down a little bit, Hatori says that she basically cried for him. Mayu tartly responds that he has a girlfriend, she should cry for him next time, to which Hatori is properly confused. She asks for her tears back with interest, and then Hatori asks her out. So, all those who were wondering, this right here is how you manage to get your crush of two years to ask you out: ya just kinda,,, cry at them. Works like a charm!

(this is why i think this book is weird, it really feels like it came out of nowhere)

Going back to the summerhouse, Hiro finds out that his mom is pregnant. He's gonna be a big brother! Tohru and Kisa are congratulating him as if he's the one who is pregnant (which is something that i very much do not want to think about thank you very much) but y'know it's fun. It's also a closer look into the gravity of a Sohma family member having a child. Since all 13 of the zodiac have already been born, Hiro's mom won't have another zodiac baby, so there's that. She apparently didn't really have a problem with Hiro turning into a baby sheep/ram, because loves sheep! How cute.

Now we move onto much more serious and grave matters, specifically the fact that fucking A K I T O has the fucking gall to show up, being a whiny little bitch baby because the summer is hot and people are having fun, to ruin said fun of the Sohmas, I hate him! He also brought along Uotani's "boyfriend", his name is apparently Kureno. I wonder if Tohru will see him? It'll definitely be confusing. Wtf is Uotani's boyfriend doing around in a Sohma family summerhouse gathering thing? Weird.

Anyway, Akito shows up, finds Yuki vibing on his own, then calls Yuki the little bitch baby, then decides that he wants to see all the other zodiac people (Kyo isn't included, obviously). Sucks to suck, Akito, because Tohru and Kyo made pancakes, so, yeah. Guess who really missed out. Not much really is said about Akito said or did, the book pretty much ended when he was starting to address Haru, Hiro, Kisa, and Momiji, but I'm sure it won't be anything good. Tohru notices that Akito really has an effect on everyone, an instant mood dampener. Kyo himself even says that he likes to disrupt other people's good times, just to fuck with people, which, if that doesn't give you a slight insight into the kinda person that Akito is,, I dunno what to tell you.

Also, it's official, Yuki loves Tohru. We all kinda already knew that, at least I did, but now it's official. Did he say it out loud? No. But he thought it. In big ol bold letters. While having a close intimate moment with Tohru under the night sky in a foresty area, and that's basically saying it out loud. It's the same thing, right? Right. It is.

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