#i seriously never want to see another ‘haha i let the intrusive thoughts win so quirky’ post ever again

[excelsior9173]

wow today was…. a day

i had a nice gentle morning, got the morning papers/flyers, made a plan to get groceries because there were a lot of good sales. Got a load of laundry done, i was feeling so good!

and then as soon as i left the house to do my shop my body decided to protest violently and i was sore and absolutely drained by the time i got home

then my mental health went weird? today was a struggle with the intrusive thoughts and just generally feeling low. idk what happened my day started so well

but now i’m in a weird funk that i know will be helped by sleeping, and i have to be up early for work, but i do not want to sleep. like i feel almost afraid to close my eyes. think i’m worried my brain will continue to torture me

[sunlit-mess]

Hello, I hope it's not rude but I'm REALLY REALLY fond of your art!!!!! I was scrolling through your blog from new to old and found that you have Bpd,,,. I only heard about this condition, what is it like? If it's ok to know,,,!

hello, thank u! uhm it's something? HAHAHAHA idk how to explain it 😭🏳 lemme try to be as direct as possible

I'm high-functioning, but there are points I seriously just start showing symptoms.

Emotions: INTENSE as it can get while FEELING 99 PERCENT EMPTY. Something just- keeps you so.. hungry (not literally). Sensory is also another factor, and honestly I burn out a lot, tend to get overwhelmed n meltdown like shit

Identity: I either have BEEF WITH it, feel GODLY, or be so LOW, really low. I live with both passion and hate. I'm very confused. But I can say I'm just tired!

Attachments: Relationships are so hard to maintain bc of how much I fear abandonment, like bro I can't even leave my family as much as I want to. I'm more scared of getting disowned or losing my name. Love is a concept I long to grasp at the same time scared of it, I don't understand jackshit about " love ".

> I tend to self-Isolate with or without reason

> ...I used to test other people whether they can handle me or not, whether they'd leave or not. Not anymore though, but the thought lingers.

> Very- paranoid- about.. perception, neglect and invalidity HAHA.

Mindset: They call it Black and White, or generally just two categories to label my perception of things. However, I try to understand AS MUCH AS I CAN about a situation, etc. See what's in-between before I decide. that's really hard for me to do LOL.

> I always do my best to think and be nice

> I can be so fucking bad at the same time, only to regret it the next second or so

> My mind is scattered all over the place, It's exhausting

Trauma: I have memory problems and a lot to connect with that. Hate and fear is what I'm accustomed to. I live with a fuck ton of active predicaments like hell. Old wounds keeps reopening, and new ones never closes.

Impulse: shows in speech more than in action (THANK GOD LMAO I'D DIE IF I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN)

Habits: uhm. Ranging from sunshine and rainbows to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. I get obsessive, like.. really obsessive.

Coping mechanisms: Usually I have mood stabilizers and anti-depressants n shit, but I don't rely on them anymore (bc I can't keep buying). I don't have good coping mechanisms even for physical needs. It's so bad bro. So I just end up drawing. that's the only good one I can list.

Living with it: Exhausting and an internal war 24/7. Does it affect me physically? Yes. Does it come with other mental factors and conditions? Also yes! But as one of God's most tired soldiers, nothing I can do but keep walking.

What I'm confused about: dawg last time, i kept searching about how conditions co exists like— Thats normal?? N the last diagnosis I was in confirms it does and nothing to worry about. BLUD I AM DEF WORRYING. Autism n bpd? u mean my behavior and shit isnt meant to be invalid as most people perceive — u mean these fckass experiences built that bpd? ☠️ WHAT AM I THEN—

(I'm having a hard time believing it bc as an adult, it's harder to process information like these)

[diamondsableye]

“Can I practice my crafting skill again?”  Pale inquired from underneath the large classroom table, the interior shadowed by a mass of sheets having been draped around the rectangular surface like a veil punctuating the distinction from a temple’s inner and outer sanctums. 

“Mmm... Roll to see how much you can improve it.” Stated Grimm after a brief moment of thought, passing the multi sided die to his classmate.  The quartet had managed to sneak out one of their teachers emergency flashlights and were using it to illuminate their mishmash of character sheets, crudely constructed miniatures, and an extremely basic game map decorated with cardboard structures and held together by scotch tape and crayon scribbles.

Pale let the plastic decider of fate slip from his fingers and roll onto the game board, careful to make sure that it wouldn’t collide with his kingdom under construction.  The four souls watched with baited breath as the die spinned and swirled, ultimately landing unceremoniously with a large 5 displayed on its upturned face.

“Aw darn are you serious?  That’s my third low roll in a row!”  The upset juvenile wined, before snatching up the die in his small greedy digits to inspect a cause for his loss.  Marvelously, the die refused to reveal its secrets, and stubbornly let the child stew in his own frustrated bad luck.

“Haha!  Oh man Pale, at this rate you’ll never stop your kingdom from collapsing!  I’m gonna win the gaaammmeee~!  I’m gonna win the gaaammmeee~!”  Jeered Radiance, taking her sweet time to rub in Pale’s foul luck with her annoying sing song taunts.  The boy’s white chitin near instantly flushed scarlet from his friend’s teasings, his mood soured by the moth’s playful gloating.

“Shuddup shuddup!  Once I improve my skill enough you are so going down!”  Pale barked with a newfound competitive rage boiling inside him, more determined than ever to take down the fluffy pest.

“Nuh uh!  You’ve got no chance.  Besides, it’s your fault for taking over my village tribe anyhow.  Why couldn’t you have just beaten up Grimm’s dumb troupe?”  She inquired with a raise of her eye, the harsh judgement of her look not lost on her fair companion who solemnly shivered and shrunk back at the snarky attack.  As soon as the boy had backed off from his haughtiness, Grimm suddenly barked back up with a fever of his own, not as used to the jagged back and forth as his friend was.  With an insulted glare, he joined in on the aggravated spit, ready to stand up for his beloved world.

“Hey!  It’s not dumb!  It’s a-”

“-Dark nightmare cult and all with nightmares and stuff, we get it.  You have a bard as your right hand man.  Sooooo lameeeee”  Radiance cut off the batty bug with a quick, dismissive sway of a wing, shutting down Grimm’s meager defense before he even had the chance to mount it.  His own face flushed an even deeper crimson than his angrily beaming eyes, burning hotter than the dark fire he knew was raging inside his poor defiant soul.

“Hey don’t make fun of Brumm!  He’s my friend’s character, and he’s perfectly awesome as is.”  He stated almost matter of factly through his growl of a response, quick to stand up for the currently not present Nymm.  It was one thing if himself was being fussed at, but he would not let the moth so criminally down-trod his dear companion.

“Mm whatever you say.”  She mused out of boredom, waiting for Pale’s still prolonged turn to be finished up.  With all the wait this game seemed to love making her endure, sometimes she just needed to rile the boys up for a bit of entertainment.  They always managed to be so easily pestered it was almost too rewarding.

“I.. Still don’t understand why you need to improve your crafting stat so much... We already have our own knights, why do we need more?”  The quiet juniper suddenly peeped up from the quieting uproar as if to quell the currently dwindling stream of advancing insults and tauntings. She looked up with a puzzled look as she mindlessly toyed with a small figure of her own creation, its three prominent horns visible even in the relative obscurity of the dim table tent.

“Ah my Queen Lady, we need more guards cuz Raddy wants to take over Hallownest, but we can’t use our knights because of Rad’s Tell-a-path-y.  We can’t just make new characters cuz that takes too many resources, but since we don’t need character based perks, it’ll be more efficient if we just build guards instead!”  Pale mused in a surprisingly coherent ramble, considering how it was he whom had insisted the installation of saw blades at every corner for protection, and now required to perform a dexterity check each time he wished for his character to walk between rooms.  No wonder why his queen chose to stay in her own gardens most of the time.

“Yeah, if you can level up your crafting skill any” Radiance couldn’t help but snark, stifling giggles and failing horribly in her attempt to do so.  Suddenly, before another eye rolling round of crude insults could come to pass, a glum, audible sigh was heard from outside the drawn curtain of sheets, suddenly parting to reveal a highly sultry bemused arachnid.

“Ugh you dweebs.  It’s Tel-lep-a-thy, not Tell-a-path-y.”  The spider had practically groaned as she invaded the group’s sacred game space, leaving Grimm practically hissing at the sudden light as a touch of the normal classroom lighting managed to seep its way in.

“Herrah!  What are you doing in here?  Were you spying on us?”  Wailed Lady, a tremor of meek fright catching in her voice as the gang’s closely held secret had suddenly been unveiled to the outside world.

“You’re playing a game under a table with nothing but a thin sheet separating you guys from the rest of the class.  Like.  Everyone can hear you.”

“Oh.”

“Well what do you want then?  Can’t you leave us alone?”  Bemoaned Grimm, folding his pudgy cheeks in his hands like a heavy weight of boredom being supported by two pillars of barely sustained contempt.  It was obvious her mere presence was enough to put off any enjoyment he was previously having.

“Well I want to join you guys, and Hornet does too.” Herrah demanded, sneering dully to the agitated lad sitting front and center in the circle of friends and miscellaneous game pieces.  Their eyes were tensely locked together in a silent bitter clash, like a sputtering cooking pot ready to harshly steam and boil over at any moment.

“Why do you want to join us?  You have your other weird friends, and do we even have to consider your annoying little sis?  Seriously?  How does she know about our game anyways?”  Grimm drilled, attempting to interrogate the nosy arachnid.  With a huff, he shot back to sit upright again, his arms tucked into a condescending cross as he waited for her to answer him.

“Oh Pale’s younger brother is good friends with her, and he was telling her about how much fun he was having with you guys.  Simply put we’re bored and we want to do something fun.”  She puffed herself with a scowl, returning the impatient gesture mockingly.  She parted the curtain wider, forcing herself into the group of collected youngsters to cement her position for now at least.

“Aww man not Pure!  I told him to keep his mouth shut.”   Pale softly cursed under his breath, begrudging his sweet younger brother’s overly friendly nature for once.  At least Ghost still hadn’t learned how to talk yet, and Kin was unable to, sort of.  Herrah almost immediately caught the mutter and smirked to herself with a smug sense of satisfaction, she was moving into this group faster than she had imagined already.

“Well yes Pure.  He sounded so happy to let her play too, and so she wrote out some demands for how she wants to be included.”  Herrah relayed with an all too noticeable touch of cunning and snark, sure to implicate the younger sibling’s attachment as a tool to her advantage.  It would be such a shame if the kind lad was let down by his role model of an older brother after all.  Before Pale could give into his own sympathy however, Grimm suddenly interjected with a fiery snap, not allowing defeat to such an unfair intrusion just yet.

“Hold on we never said we were gonna include her, or you for that matter too!  We’re already packed full as is!” He snarled full of bitter energy, his small sharp fangs clicking together like a strike of lightning to punctuate his contempt.  This was his game after all, and he most certainly didn’t feel like sharing with a fake fan of the occult like Herrah.  He knew practically for a fact that she would ruin his whole carefully planned world if given a place in it.  The firm slap of denial rolled off her shoulders like a light mist of rain, and much to his surprise, her smile only widened with a sickening deviance.

“Well you better, otherwise I’m telling miss seeker.” She lulled softly, almost like she was singing a lighthearted tune, void of the very real threat her words held.  Upon hearing this, Grimm let out a soft gasp, his eyes partly draining in color as the implication hung over him like a heavy storm cloud.

“You wouldn’t dare you tattle-!”

“I will.”

With that, Grimm shuddered as if he was attempting to down a foul tasting medicine, practically writhing in his seat as he tried to make peace with the necessary deed of evil.  He groaned and writhed, his snakelike tail twisting and coiling as he threw a minor fit, all the while Herrah savored every moment of discomfort the young bug was performing so beautifully for her.  Finally, he breathed a deep, angered huff of a sigh, agreeing to allow her to join.

“.... okay finneeee but not cuz you told us to.  You can have a minor role.”  He groaned as if he was agreeing to help out with something awful like housework or giving up the TV to let his dad watch sports.  At least he knew he could count on Radiance to keep the mischievous spider at bay.  Herrah however, was not so satisfied with this answer.

“Well if I can only have a minor role then you gotta give Lurien and Monomon roles too.” She added, the ever present threat of her ratting out the group to their pleasant yet firm teacher Miss God Seeker still holding with every word she spoke.  The gang each stifled a collective shudder to various degrees of uncertainty, eyeing one another as Grimm continued to barter with the persistent arachnid.

“Your weird friends too?  Well... give us your snacks for the rest of this month’s break time and it’s a deal, same thing goes for those two also.” Grimm haggled, he was gonna make sure that if he couldn’t keep them out, he and his friends would at least make out like kings with them joining.  Herrah pondered the new request, mulling it over in her mind for a bit before responding again.

“Maybe, but you still have to meet my sis’s requirements exactly.” She replied inconclusively.  Grimm knew that if this was going to go any farther then he’d need to see all the terms of agreement first.

“Okay Okay.. let me look them over first.” He asked with his small waiting claws outstretched.  Herrah unflinchingly handed the list over, written in a crude scrawl with red marker.  Most of it was legible enough to the youngin, and he sounded aloud the requests one by one, Herrah nodding along accordingly to every single point.

“So... Super fit and pretty, Super awesome ninja tools, Cute fluttering dress, super cool sword she can tie to invisible ninja spider silk ropes... Oh hrm...well she can’t be a princess.” Grimm finished disconcertingly, the hesitation palpable enough to be cut through.  He exchanged a nervous glance to the “royal couple” and watched as the queen returned a sour look and subtly scooted even closer to Pale in her seat.

“...Excuse me?”  Herrah questioned with a harsh bite of scrutiny, the broiling vitriol just barely contained within her tightened throat.  She glared to the boy fumbling with the childish manuscript, her eyes demanding explanation.

“She can’t.  Pale is the only king currently and-”

“And I’m already the queen!” Lady cut off with a possessive wine, wrapping her arms tightly around her kid crush, returning the spider’s gaze with a too cute to be serious pout.

“Okay I don’t have to be the queen whatever, I just want my own space like she does, and it’s not fair she is the only one with royal heirs.” Herrah bemoaned to the Castles and Keepers Master, before turning her attention to the wimpy King.  ”If you and lady can pretend your younger bros are your princes, then I’m sure it wouldn’t take much for you to pretend my younger sis is your princess.”

“Oh come on, my mom forced me to let them play too after finding out I didn’t want them to join in and ruin everything.  Your little sis doesn’t need to be royalty too!”  Pale returned with a half groan half whine, he didn’t want to have to share his perfect kingdom with yet another younger kid.  Herrah listened to his grievance uncaringly as she rolled her eyes to his meaningless complaint.

“But if you didn’t want them to be royal then why couldn’t you have just-”

“Because me n Pale are gonna get married one day so I gotta practice being a mamma!  Pale would never marry a  weird girl like you!  Girls aren’t supposed to like creepy crawlies, especially spiders!  Everyone else calls you a beast for a reason!”  The petite sapling let out with a jealous squeal, quick to defame the intruding girl in any way possible.  As she wrapped herself even tighter against the young bug, the humored arachnid couldn’t help but try and hide an entertained grin.  Lady was sure one to talk for one Herrah knew how to fuss all too well.

“Oh I’m sorry, I forgot you screamed and wet your pants the day I brought Miss fuzzy to class!  Miss scaredy Lady!”  She shot back with a malicious smirk, teasing the small tree in nearly the same tone as the moth used to stir up trouble.  Instantly Lady’s eyes sparked with an aggravated jolt of color, huffing frustratedly as the taunt instantly managed to bury under her branches.

“Meanie!  You tried to put her on my head!” She cried back, her eyes growing glossy and damp from her rage and embarrassment.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Enough!!  Whatever sure you can have your character and Hornet can too and she can even be a ninja princess whatever too.  Give us your snacks for the next month now and I’ll let your friends also get roles, but say anything to Miss Seeker and I’ll undo all of that!” With a sudden snap, Grimm broke through the bickering before either had the chance to start screaming, more than ready to meet any demand as long as it would bring the toneless cacophony to a standstill.  Both girls backed off, Herrah with a proud, gratified smile and lady with a sniffle and a wipe of her eyes, which was quickly fixed with a hug from Pale.

“Only for the next week, no way I’ll give for a month.” Concluded Herrah, seemingly more than willing to negotiate now that she knew a position within their game was all but secured.  Grimm pondered it, humming to himself with his eyes closed in thought, snapping to attention once he believed to have mulled it over enough.

“Fine then, for the next two weeks?”

“Deal!”

[zecretsanta]

Fic: Taken For A Ride

To: @theultimateweirdshipper From: @therealhousewivesofhyrule

I was so excited to see another Santa/Clover prompt this year, so thanks for making my job so much fun! I hope this is ‘odd’ enough for you, haha. Merry Christmas! 

AO3 Link

——

Of all the things Aoi had expected to see when he pulled up to his own apartment, a pink-haired girl running for her life was not even close to being on the list. But instead of asking if she was okay or what had gotten her so spooked, Aoi decides he doesn’t care about any of that and says, “What the fuck are you doing at my house?” 

Clover takes one look at Aoi in the driver’s seat of his fancy convertible, puts a hand on the passenger side door, and jumps over it to land in the empty seat next to him. She doesn’t bother greeting him at all. “Who cares? Just drive.”

 She buckles herself in and Aoi, ever the gentleman, starts the engine. He’s annoyed by her sudden intrusion, but he’s never been able to say no to her, and he likes her fire, besides.

“Okay, sure,” he says. “But what–” 

He’s about to ask again why she’s at his house, but the answer comes barreling out of the apartment complex’s door, dressed in plaid and way too many vests.

“Clover, wait–”

“Aw, fuck.” Aoi’s eyes narrow at Junpei as he stumbles toward the car. “What the hell did you do?” 

“I said shut up and drive!” Clover snaps. 

Aoi shrugs. “Fair enough.” And floors it. 

“Clover!”

Clover unbuckles and leans over the edge of the door, flipping Junpei off with both hands and waving them around. “Later, scrub!” 

One hand on the wheel and panicking like he’s the one half-hanging out a car window, Aoi reaches over and grabs Clover by the back of the skirt. He tries extremely hard not to look at her butt while he’s got a fistful of fabric, but hey. He has to admit, as far as butts go, Clover’s is kind of cute, and it’s hard not to look when it’s practically being shoved in his face. 

She really should get a longer skirt, Aoi thinks. And he pointedly doesn’t think about the fact that he really shouldn’t be lifting it higher than it already is.

He yanks on Clover’s skirt hard enough to pull her back into the car. She yelps, hits the seat with a soft thwump!, and crosses her arms. She half-glares, half-pouts at Aoi. “You could have asked if you wanted to touch my butt, you know.” 

“I don’t want to fuckin’ touch your butt,” Santa snaps back, lying through his teeth.

“Whatever.” 

They’re silent for about half a second more before Clover reaches over to the radio and turns it up, full-blast. 

“–OUT THE PASSENGER’S SIDE OF HIS BEST FRIEND’S RIDE–” 

Aoi immediately turns it right back down. “I hate that song,” he says. 

Clover turns it back up. Aoi turns it back down.

Clover turns it up.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Aoi turns it down again, and once more, Clover puts it on blast. Realizing there’s no way he’s winning this fight, Aoi finally relents, gritting his teeth and clutching the wheel until his knuckles turn white. 

“Once again, Clover gets her way.” Just like she always does. “Seriously, could you be any more of a spoiled brat?” 

“Sorry, can’t hear you over how great this song is!”

“Ugh.”

The song runs its course and Aoi shuts the radio off. Clover reaches to turn it back on, but he bats her hand away, actually kind of pissed now. “Radio doesn’t go back on until you answer some of my goddamn questions.” 

“Touchy touchy,” Clover says. 

“First,” Aoi says, taking her sass as a cue to continue, “What the fuck were you doing at my house?” 

“Why the fuck do you have a convertible?” she retorts. “Isn’t this a little flashy for someone who’s supposedly trying to lay low?” 

Aoi keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him. He resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. “In case bratty little girls who don’t bother asking for a ride need one.” 

Clover has the dignity to look affronted. “I am not a little girl!” 

Aoi shrugs. “You barely come up to my shoulders, pipsqueak. Seems pretty little to me.” 

She stutters. Good.

“I’m gonna ask you one more time, and if you don’t give me an answer I like, your ass is out on the curb. And I ain’t stopping to let you out.” He looks at her out of the corner of his eye. She doesn’t look threatened at all. “What were you doing at my house?” 

Clover smirks. “Looking for you.” 

Aoi doesn’t buy it, but he can’t say he doesn’t like the answer. Fucking smartass. “Great,” he says. “Flattered. Next question: what the fuck did you do to Junpei?” 

“Pissed him off.” 

Aoi does a full-body eyeroll, his head lolling on his shoulders. “Obviously. Any particular reason you feel like sharing with the class?” 

“No,” Clover says, with that horrible-adorable cheeky smirk of hers. Figures she’d be stubborn. Aoi doesn’t know whether he should be pissed or pleased; she’s a tough cookie, and the flirtatiousness is a nice change from her usual bad attitude. He supposes it’s those little cracks in her bitchy facade that keep him saying yes to her. 

Jump, Aoi!

How high, Princess?

Clover doesn’t let him stay lost in his thoughts for long. “Besides, I think we’re getting a little far from the real elephant in the room.” 

Aoi bites. “And what would that be?” 

Clover grins, all trouble. Aoi likes it… for all of two seconds, until he realizes she’s kneeling on the seat and leaning over the center console, poised for all the world like fucking Catwoman. It’s not sexy at all, but damn it, Aoi hates himself just that little more for falling for the distraction. 

Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road. 

“Why don’t you pull over and find out?” 

Aoi’s pretty sure he’s about to pop a blood vessel. He just hopes that when it finally goes, it doesn’t spurt out his nose like a goddamn anime character. He knows she’s just trying to get under his skin and none of this really means anything - it’s just a game they like to play - but damn it if she isn’t winning. Again. Aoi curses his own weakness at the same time he figures out how to get her back. 

“Okay, sure,” he says, and he takes delight in the split-second in which he can see Clover’s eyes go wide. He turns sharply, too sharply, and the car swerves; Clover screams as she’s thrown off balance and practically whipped out of the car. 

Aoi laughs at her. 

“Man, you should’ve seen the look on your face!” He cackles and regains control of the car, steering it back into its proper lane. Other traffic passes by him, honking and flipping him off as they go. Aoi doesn’t care; he’s victorious. 

“You could have killed me!” Clover shrieks. She regains her balance and punches Aoi in the arm. It hurts (when did she get so tough?) but even that can’t bring him down now. 

“Then maybe you should have been wearing your fucking seatbelt, huh?” 

Clover sits back down in her seat, cowed for the moment. She is not happy. But who cares? Aoi is more than happy enough for the both of them, so instead of shutting his trap like a decent fucking human being would, he decides to press her a little further.

“Besides, you still ain’t dead, are you? Even though I could have killed you lots of times. Remember when I locked you and your brother up in the middle of Nevada and pretended you’d swallowed a bomb? And then I threatened to blow your brains out?” 

Clover snarls. “I remember.” 

“Good times.” 

Clover squirms in her seat. Aoi wonders if he’s made her a little too uncomfortable, but when he tilts his head to look at her he sees she’s… smiling? 

“…Yeah. I guess it kinda was.” 

Aoi snorts. “You sick fuck.” 

“I’m the sick fuck?” 

“Yeah,” Aoi says. “You would be-“ 

He’s cut off from that thought by another one popping up in his head: an image of Clover, moving and playing in his mind’s eye like a memory, walking up and down the stairs in Building Q’s steam engine room. Except Aoi very vividly does not remember that happening, despite his jokes to Junpei at the time. 

"What the fuck?!” The car swerves again and Clover shrieks with laughter. 

“Ha! Gotcha good there, didn’t I? You perv~!" 

Aoi manages to get the car under control again, and he curses under his breath: "Fuck shit God damn it fucking Senders holy shit coulda killed us both what the fuck–”

“Aw, did I scare you?” Clover teases, giggling like an idiot. Aoi glares at her in the passenger seat. "Maybe you shouldn’t tell Junpei next time you have thoughts like that. Or, better yet, don’t leave your mind so open for me. Not that you can help it, though, it seems pretty empty up there…”

“That’s it,” Aoi says, still trying to recover a steady heartbeat. “Game over. You’re goin’ home.”

“More like you’re going home, to-" 

An exceptionally vulgar thought crosses Aoi’s mind that definitely isn’t his own. He turns to glare at Clover. "Cut that shit out or so help me I will turn this car around-”

“And what?" 

"And hand you over to Junpei to face some goddamn comeuppance. Brat.”

Clover snorts. “Pff. Like that’s a threat.”

“No, but I’m guessing he’s not the only one you pissed off if you were in such a rush to get out of my house. Want me to hand you over to Akane instead?" 

Clover’s face pales and real fear fills her eyes. Aoi doesn’t need her to send her thoughts to his brain to know that she’s reliving the last time she pissed off Akane.

It had been horrible. All three of them - Aoi, Junpei, and Clover - had been mentally scarred for weeks after. "You wouldn’t.”

“Try me, Princess.”

Clover snaps her mouth shut and turns to face the road. The rest of the short drive is spent in silence, except for Aoi’s triumphant cheering as he speeds down the road at double the limit.

–

He drops Clover off at her front door and tells her, in no uncertain terms, to “Get the fuck out of my car.”

He resists the urge to physically kick her out of the car just for the fun of it, but he is nothing if not a gracious man. Not that Clover seems to appreciate that: she glares, pouts, and crosses her arms at him. 

A short distance behind her, Light opens the front door and makes his way toward them. 

“I hope she didn’t cause you too much trouble,” he says, reaching into the convertible and grabbing Clover by the back of her hood, like a cat picking up a kitten by the scruff of its neck. Aoi raises a brow and nods, impressed. Snake is pretty damn strong for such a skinny guy.

“Only the usual amount,” he says. Clover’s frown deepens; Light has yet to put her down, so she’s still dangling in the air. Aoi laughs; she’s just too cute.

“Aw, don’t be like that,” he says. He leans out the passenger-side window and presses a quick kiss to Clover’s lips. “You know I love you.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t believe you. You might have to kiss me again to prove it.” 

He does, forgetting for a moment that Light is standing right there. When he pulls away, he grins like the devil up at the taller man. “Sorry ‘bout that, Light.” 

“Oh, don’t mind me,” he says, sarcastic as ever. “It’s not as if I can see you.” 

“Oh yeah.” 

Clover bops Aoi on the head with a loose fist. “Same time next week?” she asks. 

Aoi grins. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, babe.” 

He gives Light a small wave, a flick of the wrist, forgetting that Light can’t see how absolutely uncool that was. Clover blows a raspberry at him - God, she’s cute - and he flips her off. 

“You two are so weird,” Light mumbles as he turns around to carry Clover into the house. Aoi can’t stop himself from laughing as he watches them go.

Yeah, he thinks to himself. She really does need to get a longer skirt. 

And then he’s off.

[seigyokus]

2.4 - A Sleepless Night

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 2.4 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Ogami Banri: President, I found this as I was cleaning the office....... Takanashi Otoharu: Is that Tsukumo company newsletter file folder? That sure brings back memories. Ogami Banri: 'Memories?' Did you use to work for Tsukumo Productions? Takanashi Otoharu: That was before my daughter was born. See, look. There's my wife, and there's Yaotome-kun. Ogami Banri: I knew that President Yaotome used to work at Tsukumo Productions. He even has their support. Takanashi Otoharu: Indeed. There's lots of of agencies like that. Things are much easier to do when you have Tsukumo backing you. Ogami Banri: Are you getting support from them, President? Takanashi Otoharu: I gave them a piece of my mind and left, so no. Selling people until they can't sell anymore, then throwing them away after they're all used up-- that type of company mindset just didn't sit well with me. Takanashi Otoharu: I've given everyone so much trouble by defying Tsukumo, but I'm glad that I've been able to work the way I want to. Ogami Banri: That's true.... It's surprising that you were colleagues with President Yaotome, though. Takanashi Otoharu: Yaotome-kun, Musubi, and I used to talk about our dreams and aspirations. The three of us would talk about the things we wanted to do, or the things we absolutely had to do. Takanashi Otoharu: Yaotome-kun has it rough too..... He can't defy Tsukumo no matter what because he's under their patronage. Ogami Banri: Does that include Yaotome Productions? Takanashi Otoharu: It's because Tsukumo and Hoshikage have very different histories. And by history, I mean the people who've been moving the industry along. Takanashi Otoharu: People in management positions choose Tsukumo in times of need. Their stocks and interests are intermingled in a complex manner, after all. Ogami Banri: ...That makes it sound like the entertainment industry is a place where there's no room for dreams or aspirations, like a big, terrifying wall before you. Takanashi Otoharu: There are dreams and aspirations. After all, the audience is the one with the final say. Takanashi Otoharu: No matter how huge an agency is, no matter how big the star is, they can't do anything if they don't have an audience. Fans, and the people who aren't fans, are the most important. Takanashi Otoharu: Those kids seized the chance. IDOLiSH7's dreams, and the dreams they show-- both of these light up the audience's eyes with excitement. Takanashi Otoharu: It's a type of magic, one that wins against even the strongest power.

*click* Tsukumo Ryou: Hello, Momo. So you've come. I've been waiting for you. Momo: Here. I have a gift for you. They're kashiwa mochi I got for half-off from a shop in front of the station. Tsukumo Ryou: Wow! It's just like Children's Day! Shall we don helmets and play around? (1) Momo: Only if I can arm myself. Pardon the intrusion. Tsukumo Ryou: Come on in, make yourself at home. Momo: Here I thought you'd live in a high-rise apartment, but you're actually pretty close to the ground. Are you scared of high places, Ryou-san? Tsukumo Ryou: Well, if I lived in a high-rise, I wouldn't be able to toss my pet off the balcony. They'd die. Momo: Your jokes are awful....... It'd be dangerous to toss them off even at this height. I love animals, so I'm not even gonna laugh. Tsukumo Ryou: I didn't laugh either. Now, which cut of meat would you like to start out with? Or shall we raise our glasses to a toast first? Momo: Sorry, but I can't stay for long. Why are all three of our groups becoming part of Tsukumo? Momo: Is it because the President said so? Or was it the President's mother? Who is the mastermind behind this? Tsukumo Ryou: It's me. Tsukumo Ryou: I am going to be Tsukumo's new President. I'll be officially inaugurated next month. Go ahead, congratulate me. Momo: ....... No way, you're lying....... Tsukumo Ryou: Now, that's a little difficult to pop open a champagne bottle to. Why do you think so? Momo: Because you were never interested in the entertainment industry, Ryou-san. And even though you're the second son in Tsukumo, you've always been wandering aimlessly without any goal in mind. Tsukumo Ryou: Oh no, not at all. I am positively teeming with interest. Especially in your line of work, Momo. In idols. Momo: Why? Tsukumo Ryou: Momo. I'm giving you a 50, failing marks. Same goes for Yuki, whom you adore so much. Momo: ....... Momo: As if Yuki could get an F. He's handsome, he's a gentleman, his cooking is really good.... Tsukumo Ryou: ...Ah, my bad. Let's blacklist his name for now, since the conversation will only get derailed if we bring him up. Momo: If he were a river, then you can swim, fish, and go rafting there! I bet you could even catch pond skaters, and barbecue-- Tsukumo Ryou: Alright, alright. He's a Class A river. Do you mind if I talk now? (2) Momo: Go ahead. Tsukumo Ryou: I'm handsome, smart, and passionate. I've got a sense for business, and an abundance of hobbies. I am excellent at sports and overflowing with refinement. Tsukumo Ryou: Not only that, I've also mastered the art of conversation and am sociable. I am capable of learning almost anything, with just a little bit of studying. I've got excellent taste, and I can even sing well. Lalala~ Momo: ......Are you gonna keep going? Tsukumo Ryou: And yet, my parents love my brother. Thanks to that, Tsukumo has been on the decline. Momo: ....... Tsukumo Ryou: Idols are the same. All of you are flawed beings. And yet, the masses love you and you bring in money. Tsukumo Ryou: I want to expose that secret. Tsukumo Ryou: In other words, I'm going to stick my hands in and mess it all up-- as if you were kneading a sticky, gooey hamburger. Momo: ....... Seriously...? Tsukumo Ryou: Ahaha. You're terrifying, Momo. You realized it before anyone in my family or office did. Tsukumo Ryou: You noticed my profound brilliance. That I have the power to move people. That's why you're trying to curry favor with me. Momo: ....... Momo: Ryou-san, I'm begging you! Let's go to the Employment Service Center and look for another job! How about being a florist? (3) Tsukumo Ryou: First, I have to strike down Hoshikage and absorb them into Tsukumo. And then I'll absorb your lot. At that point in time, I'll have complete control over mass media. Momo: Working in a crêpe shop wouldn't be too bad either.... Tsukumo Ryou: And as a final touch, I'll hop on to the idol boom and profit with great efficiency, all while indulging in bacchanalian revelry. A delicious hamburger is complete. Bon appétit. Momo: ......You don't have anyone who could take down Hoshikage. Their stars are all secret, too. You don't have anything that could shake their foundation either-- Tsukumo Ryou: Chiba Salon. Tsukumo Ryou: It's the epitome of a scandal. The only way it's been able to stay as an open secret is through Hoshikage's power and through Chiba Shizuo's name. Tsukumo Ryou: If an unknown actor from a tiny agency tried to leak it, they'd be beaten to smithereens and banished from the industry. It's that type of scoop. Anyone who to go against the flow will be attacked from all sides, all in one go. Tsukumo Ryou: Of course, there's someone out there who can reveal the secret, but they've got him in check. It's someone you know very well, a very big name in the industry. It won't stop as just a tiny little leak in the weekly magazines. Momo: ......Who's gonna reveal it? Tsukumo Ryou: It's a secret. Tsukumo Ryou: If all goes well, then IDOLiSH7 might have to change their name. After all, they'll be left with six members. Tsukumo Ryou: I.... I-something-six. What a wonderful name, don't you agree? Momo. Momo: ....... Momo: Let me tell you why nobody loves you-- you're a psychopath. You have absolutely no conscience or love in you, not even one bit. Tsukumo Ryou: How delightful. Many of the top entrepreneurs out there are psychopaths. Thanks for guaranteeing my success. Momo: ......I'm going home! Tsukumo Ryou: Sit down, Momo. Or else I'll toss you off the balcony. Momo: I'm gonna go home before I bash your face in, that's what I'm saying! Tsukumo Ryou: You are my friend. I don't mind sparing Re:vale, and only Re:vale. But only if you'll strike a deal with me. Momo: ....... Tsukumo Ryou: Yuki can't live in such a tiny, confined world. But in my hands, I'll liquidate every last drop of him into money. Tsukumo Ryou: It's just as you said, Momo. He's a real hottie! You can use every bit of him, down to the bone-- just like high-quality livestock. You can make bags, shoes, soup, and even manure out of him. Tsukumo Ryou: So, what will you do? Momo: ....... Momo: ...You mentioned a deal? Tsukumo Ryou: That big-name will reveal the naked truth of Chiba Salon's existence. Tsukumo Ryou: That in itself is enough, but I want it to be a little more festive. Tsukumo Ryou: I want you to give me the raw voice recording of this confession from Chiba Shizuo's bastard child-- Nikaidou Yamato. (4)

*click* Izumi Iori: ...You're still awake, Nikaidou-san? Nikaidou Yamato: Yeah, I was reading. Kids shouldn't be staying up too late, Ichi. Izumi Iori: Who are you calling a child? Nikaidou Yamato: Ahaha. Nikaidou Yamato: ......Say, Producer Izumi. Izumi Iori: ....... Please don't call me that. What if someone overhears? Nikaidou Yamato: We're the only ones here. There's something I'd like to ask you, since you're such a capable producer. Izumi Iori: What is it? Nikaidou Yamato: The idol group, IDOLiSH7. If there was a scoop that would muddy up their image, to the point where nobody would even want to touch them.... Nikaidou Yamato: If I told you that this Onii-san here had something like that, what would you do? Would you sever ties with me right this instant? Izumi Iori: ....... Izumi Iori: It depends on you, Nikaidou-san. Nikaidou Yamato: Haha.... No promises about how you wouldn't sever ties, huh. That's very like you. Izumi Iori: Of course. There's no meaning in losing you too if IDOLiSH7's image goes down. Izumi Iori: Are you prepared to cling onto IDOLiSH7 regardless of what situation befalls us, Nikaidou-san? Do you have that resolve? Izumi Iori: If you aren't, then tell me now. Then I can cut you from the group right this instant, even if the other members curse at me. Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Iori: If you can fixate yourself on IDOLiSH7, then no matter what happens, we can make the first move and fight. However....... Izumi Iori: Nanase-san had been removed from center once, and Nii-san had lost his confidence for a period of time. Neither of them had ever once joked about quitting the group. Izumi Iori: Ask me again when you can say it with a straight face. Nikaidou Yamato: ......Nothing but sound reasoning, all painfully true. You sure aren't a cute kid. Izumi Iori: You're the one who called me producer. Good night. Don't stay up too late. *slam* Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: Prepared to cling on, huh....... I've never had to make that decision, not even once in my life. Nikaidou Yamato: I should've never thought about something as stupid as revenge. Nikaidou Yamato: ......I've been regretting that ever since the day I auditioned and got into IDOLiSH7.

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

Thank you @kuriiii for proofreading as usual!!!

(1) kashiwamochi = mochi wrapped with oak leaves typically served on Children's Day. Helmets (specifically traditional Japanese military helmets) are "symbols of strength and vitality," and also a thing pertaining to Children's Day. Read more about it here! (2) Class A river is this thing. tl;dr a particularly important river protected by the government (3) (this is str8 frm wiki) "Hello Work is the Japanese English name for the Japanese government's Employment Service Center, which manages unemployment insurance benefits for both Japanese and foreign unemployed workers, and which also provides job-matching programs to the unemployed."  (4) technically 'chiba shizuo's mistress's child' but? u know what that means? Bastard Child. which also nice dramatic ring to it. Last note, ハンバーグ is more of a thick slab of hamburger meat presented kinda like a steak but hamburger steak, steak, Salisbury steak, none of them particularly appealed to me in subbing in alternatives so I just left it as pseudo-direct ‘hamburger’ idk if you can tell but i hvae a lot of fun translating ryou HAHA

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!