#i have like 4 ideas rn but I don’t feel like doing any bc I don’t trust my current writing abilities

[ichigo-dream]

Leon - Squish - (SFW & NSFW)

Hi everyone!

We still can't get over the fact that this man is built like that and that he put on 40 lbs of pure muscle between RE 2 and RE 4. Honestly we've spent many hours discussing his squish so have some of our fav headcanons:

Every part of this man is rideable - thighs, biceps, throat, ab, face, doesn’t matter, any port in a storm and what a pretty, squishy port he is. 

u love gently pinching and biting his cheeks bc he still has some of his lil baby face from his rookie days 

his lap is the comfiest place to sit 

your throne 

Leon will grab you by the hips and pull you onto his plush thighs at any point 

soft and pillowy but you can feel the muscle when he flexes 

You love his little freckles that come out in the sunshine and the summertime - there’s one on the inside of his beautiful thigh scarily close to his dick and it makes him feral when you kiss or bite at it. 

To Leon, the only benefit of working for the US Government is travel perks - when flying he always flies first class, and it's the only time he can be comfortable on public transport bc he’s a unit of a man 

Any other time, he has to curl in on himself and crush his legs together to not take up more than his designated space. 

can spread his thick delicious thighs as much as he wants 

in the summertime he likes to workout outside

will do push-ups whilst shirtless 

you try not to pass out at the sight of his muscles flexing + slick with sweat 

sometimes you’ll sit on his back as he does this when he wants some extra weight 

baby boy is so strong it makes u drool 

Loves wearing shorts but gets self-conscious if he wears them in public.

Absolutely will steal your sunglasses to wear whilst he’s outside - (we couldn’t get the image of Leon shirtless in little shorts wearing heart shaped sunglasses out of our heads)

one day he wants to surprise you by wearing his old rpd uniform (cute play on all the times you would playfully call him “officer Kennedy”) but you hear him grunting in frustration from the bedroom so u go to check it out 

shit does not fit this man

not even a little 

trousers caught around his legs bc the material won’t fit over his juicy thighs + ass. You’re trying not to drool at the sight. waistband is fr about to snap 

dick bulge bc the trousers don’t fit over that either 

shirt also  doesn’t fit  - buttons are straining within an inch of their life against his broad chest, waiting to pop  

only thing that does fit is the old bulletproof vest - barely. 

“Never got to wear my summer uniform, and I didn’t want to buy a new one so… I tried to make my own but…”

baby boy is blushing in embarrassment at his failed attempt to be sexy 

but oh he has no idea 

what he’s doing to you rn 

have to pick your jaw off the floor at the sight of him 

he’s sweating a little too from the effort 

you want him to choke you out with his thighs or biceps, you’re not picky 

You tell him to turn around and you’ll try to help him pull them up at the back but this is a ruse -  you just want to see his ass jiggle as he tries to force the trousers up. 

“I’m sorry, I can't get them on..” he whines, annoyed that he can’t surprise you anymore. 

“It’s okay, pretty boy, I need you to take them off anyway”  

devouring this man like he’s a piece of cake on god 

strawberry to be precise 

When you’re fucking him, if you grab at his ass it’ll drive him crazy

You have to resist the urge to motorboat him when his bare chest is freely offered to your greedy eyes.

the juiciest tits u ever seen 

Don’t be fooled tho - tho this man is a beast, he ‘s actually a puppy on the inside. 

He absolutely adores getting to cuddle with you and lie on your chest and snooze - because he’s bigger than you he tends to worry about crushing you but you reassure him that it's okay (glory glory what a hell of a way to die). 

We could go all day (much like Leon) but we’ll stop there for now!

Comment “Bingo!” if you made it to the end, and let us know if you’d like more!

Love, 

Ichigo and Dream xoxo

[dragonmarquise]

Speaking of trauma and stuff, name all the characters you think have trauma in bomb rush cyberfunk, any crew, any reason. Feel free to use HCs and stories and fanfics to explain!!! Bc RN I am drowning in your content/pos

First and foremost, thank you for the interest in my ideas and stuff!! Even though art and fan fic writing has been on the backburner for me while I try to get the BRC wiki to a point where I can call it “finished” at least for now. So like, doing posts like this is the only way right now that I can share my stuff at the moment. ;u;

Second, OH BOY, this is gonna be a hell of a topic. Uhh, content warnings for mentions of abuse and injuries and trauma in general. I mean, given the topic, it’s definitely going to get dark. The big ones are probably going to be my 4 Devil Theory OCs, but I have some ideas for a few other characters…

Also this is gonna be VERY long just fair warning! No seriously, I think I basically wrote the equivalent of a short fan fic here. That ended up being the reason this took so long to answer. :u

Let’s start off with Felix! Since you brought up an interesting point about why he might be distancing himself from others. For other people’s reference, this is the reblog I’m referring to.

Actually let’s break this up into sections so it’s a bit easier to read, not to mention easier to get to certain characters.

Felix

So again, from your post! Felix distances himself even from friends a lot of the time, because it’s a subconscious thing where he doesn’t want to end up too attached to someone. And then hurting badly if he loses them.

Related to Old Amsterdam, maybe Felix somehow survived whatever happened that led to it being destroyed/buried and then having New Amsterdam built on top of it. The current fandom theory is that it was a giant flooding disaster. It’s mentioned in a couple of dialogs with the Oldheads that at least those three (i.e. Boombap, Oldschool, and Classic) still remember the original Amsterdam, and the way they talk, they definitely lived there for at least a short amount of time before the city got wiped out. Presumably they and other people managed to flee whatever disaster before it happened, while other people weren’t so lucky maybe?

Heck, I know there’s one particular dialog, I think from Boombap specifically, where he mentions how Felix was just a kid while Boombap himself was in his prime as a writer. Presumably back during Old Amsterdam, but maybe even during the early start of New Amsterdam?

So maybe Felix as a small child remembers the disaster, either having to stay with his parents and losing them while managing to survive himself. Or otherwise they all fled but something happened along the way where Felix had to leave by himself. There’s also fan theories about the coffin in the Old Amsterdam under Versum Hill, that maybe it was used to save him, but also kinda preserve him? Then again maybe the coffin is unrelated in that regard, and Felix has some other connection to it (maybe a very distant descendant of whoever actually made it).

We don’t know the exact time frame between Old Amsterdam being destroyed and New Amsterdam being built, other than the Oldheads being around for both based on the game dialog. Again, they mention having memories of Old Amsterdam and how it compares to New Amsterdam and all. But still, it could have been a decently long amount of time in the past, since we don’t quite know how old the Oldheads themselves are… I always imagined them in the 60s to 80s range tbh, and then most of the case being in the range of 25 to 35.

Well, okay, the Old Amsterdam stuff and the Oldheads’ ties into the game’s lore is an interesting topic, but I’m getting a bit too off-topic for this post, sorry!!

Anyways, Felix as a very young child was in Amsterdam at the time of the disaster, manages to survive, but loses his parents at minimum. That kind of loss, especially in such a presumably horrifying way, isn’t something that can be easily overcome.

But also! Here’s my additional idea for this: Felix doesn’t want to remember what happened back then. In fact, I like to think he’s repressed that particular part of his life so hard he genuinely can’t remember now. At least not willingly. Good thing DJ Cyber was helping Felix remember only the part about how to stop Faux, otherwise he might’ve seen some REALLY depressing stuff. I like to think the first bits of each dream Felix has at the end of each chapter (besides the 4th one, which just gets right into the actual dream stage) are subconscious symbolisms of those locked away memories.

The first dream has a black and white image of “Old Amsterdam”, with someone wearing his mask in a boat. The second dream has a bunch of people standing before a pyramid of stairs, and if you knock off the person at the top, the rest at the bottom start cheering. The third dream has a long line of people, waiting for something or waiting to go somewhere maybe. The fifth dream has a line of crows you have to chase away, leading up to the group of big crows that reveal Felix.

… granted I only have my own ideas of what those could symbolize, but I feel like there’s definitely something interesting there.

Anyways, as far as Felix knows, he grew up in New Amsterdam as an orphan. There was nothing else before that. Nope. But even if he never remembers the truth of what happened to him as a kid, that trauma is still affecting him as an adult.

Like what you pointed out in your reblog, I like to think Felix eventually realizing that pushing away people who care about him just to “protect” them isn’t a healthy way of handling his feelings. Even if he never remembers the root cause of why he felt the need to do that in the first place, I’d think he learns to handle it better from now on, especially with the events of BRC teaching him friendship and stuff (not quite but like, you get the idea lol).

Cueball

So now, Cueball! Oh boy, poor Cueball. He has two sources of trauma: the stuff that led to him going full-cyber, and Eight Ball being killed.

With the first, reiterating what I said in my big DOT EXE post: as a teen living in the US (or whatever is the equivalent in the universe of BRC), Cueball got COVID, and the resulting Long COVID left him in damn terrible health. Overall physically weaker, damaged immune system, some nerve damage, sense of taste and smell being messed up (“Can you imagine biting into a chocolate bar, and tasting nothing but a like, raw meat kinda taste? I still remember that. Wouldn’t wish that even on my worst enemies.”).

And his own friends being worried they might “catch” it from him too (even though it’s at the point where it’s just the Long COVID) so then this poor guy is socially isolated while he’s still getting through high school on top of all of this. Doesn’t help that both of his parents are convinced it isn’t that bad and it's just him being lazy or finding "excuses". It isn’t until years later when they finally take him to see some doctors to try and get him some kind of help, and even then, they only take him to see quack doctors that recommend snake oils over anything that could actually help him.

Even with Eight Ball eventually stepping in and helping Cueball moving away from his awful parents, seeing better doctors in New Amsterdam… and then it turns out Cueball’s condition is so severe that there isn’t much that can be done by that point. So then the full-cyber conversion happens, because from Cueball’s point of view, his only other options are to either continue to suffer, or just straight up die.

I mean, you can imagine that would leave some pretty significant trauma on anyone. But Cueball is repressing most of it. Especially since, he’s had other people pity him and feel sorry for what he went through, and he hates that. The only person he ends up telling about any of this in particular is Bō (my Devil Theory OC that I ship with him), and even then only after they’ve been dating for a while.

By this point, he’s mostly mad at his parents for letting it get as bad as it did, especially with how stubborn they were about taking it seriously at all. Not to mention, like I said in the DOT EXE post, Cueball originally had plans to becoming a chef or baker. But he couldn’t exactly do that with his sense of smell and taste getting messed up, nevermind everything else he had to deal with. There’s a bit of resentment there towards his parents, the people who were supposed to, y’know, keep him safe.

Oh also, he is dead to them. Quite literally. I imagine in some countries in the BRC universe, a person going full-cyber or even just getting a cyberhead makes the person be considered legally dead. Y’know, Ship of Thesesus, “How much do you replace of a person before they stop being the same person?” kind of thing. And if not legally, I can imagine some people just have that kind of thought towards cybernetics like that.

His parents even made a grave for him and held a funeral for him. To clarify, by that point he was already living in New Amsterdam with his brother and the other DOT EXE guys, going through the procedures to go full-cyber. He told them what was going to happen to him, and they basically cut contact and acted like he completely died.

But if he had a chance at the time, Cueball would have flown back home, dig open his own “grave”, then push his parents in and bury them alive. Otherwise, he just likes to think that if he’s dead to them, then they’re dead to him too. Hell, they probably are dead by the point of the game, but Cueball refuses to even think about them either way.

The main trauma response (not sure if that’s the right word for this?) from all this is that Cueball gets really worried for his non-cyber friends whenever they get sick. Also getting mad if they try to keep going around as if they’re not sick, “Dude!! Go rest!! You’re either gonna make it worse or get someone else sick!!”

He is also still very distrustful of doctors in general, even if they’re genuine. He goes along with Bō for his doctor visits like a bodyguard. He’s worried for his boyfriend, but it takes him a while to admit he might be overreacting.

So then besides that! Cueball also has the trauma from Eight Ball dying. Maybe he even saw it himself, I don’t think the game specifies if the other DOT EXE members were around when it happened, or if the police/Faux managed to catch Eight Ball alone and take him out then. Personally it feels more that it’s the former, like they were all talking together nearby after losing the crew battle, then Eight Ball got shot and the others ran for it before they were next.

From a different previous post of mine, basically what I’m thinking is that Cueball was not coping with Eight Ball’s death very well. At all. To the point of even making fun of Eight Ball for just dying “so easily”. Which of course pisses off the rest of DOT EXE and gets him kicked out, leading to him joining BRC to continue to try and ignore Eight Ball’s death. Even considers just deleting his memories of Eight Ball completely, even though doing so would leave gaps in his memories that are too noticeable to ignore.

Fortunately! I think he’d eventually get a better handle on his feelings and what happened, and reconcile with the rest of DOT EXE later. He still sticks with BRC though, but at least he lives with the rest of DOT EXE again.

Vela

This one is for the spring palette Eclipse member. This is gonna be a bit shorter, but mostly because, I don’t want to get into too much detail on what happened to her, since the character herself probably wouldn’t do so either, at least to most people. So, to the point: She is studying at the local university, and at one point ended up abused by a professor she thought she could trust. That guy very nearly got away with it, if it weren’t for the rest of Eclipse stepping in to make sure he didn’t.

Though even with the scumbag punished, for a very long time afterwards Vela ends up very distrustful of men in general. She does go to therapy to help cope with things at least, especially since she wants to avoid coping in a way that ends up hurting her more. The leader of Eclipse in particular, Cassiopeia, encouraged Vela to make sure to go to therapy, and of course all of them helped support her during this time too.

It definitely does help, with her becoming less distrustful over time. She even gets a boyfriend later on! After a lot of patience from him, which Vela really appreciates and loves him for. Unfortunately, the rest of Eclipse finding out about this is the reason (in my little headcanon/AU story thing at least) for them kicking her out of their crew. So then similar to Cueball, leading to her joining up with BRC.

To clarify, they didn’t kick her out because she’s dating a man, they kicked her out because she hid something fairly important from the rest of them. With what she went through, combined with the crew overall having a, well, dislike towards men in general, she was worried about what they would think of her if she told them. So kinda poor communication on both sides?

I like to think they do eventually sort things out, but also like with Cueball, Vela probably sticks with BRC for writer stuff. However, she’s still very happy to have her friends back by thatpoint!

(Also I ended up deciding that Vela’s boyfriend is someone I’ve talked about before already. Remember the guy who I said his friends joke about his “theoretical” girlfriend, because he insists he’s dating someone but they’ve still never met her? But yeah that’s probably for another post. :P )

Rise

For Rise, I think some people might debate if it really “counts” as trauma, but I think it still does. A lot of this is copy-pasted from a document that I don’t think I’ve shared publicly yet, or at least not outside of this one BRC server I’m on.

In essence, Rise was emotionally neglected by her parents. Rise's parents are the high/upper class kind of people. Rich! Snooty! Looking down on the poor! etc. They saw their daughter as more of a reflection of their own reputation and stuff instead of her own person. So plenty of criticizing her for her appearance, what she ate, who she hung out with, what she studied in school, etc.

I have a headcanon where Rise has a huuuuge interest in marine biology and ocean stuff. It’s partly why she ends up hanging out on Pyramid Island, at least in my mind! She knows a lot, possibly even more than most people who go to school for the same topic!

But then whenever she'd ramble to her parents about it, she was basically met with a lot of dismissive "Yes yes, that's nice dear" and stuff like that. And after a certain point they were like, "When are you going to be interested in something more practical? Like medical science or business?" and that basically made her never want to talk about anything to her parents ever again, let alone her hobbies and interests.

At one point they wanted Rise to get into ice skating, but only because they wanted to have the prestige of having an "Olympic gold-medalist~" as a daughter. But also making sure she didn't get into any sports that were too "masculine" in their eyes, oh no, what a scandal that would have been for these poor rich assholes!! She got into skating alright... inline skating, specifically just to spite them. From that, Rise made more genuine friends, then became a writer through that as well. Her first time getting caught by police, her parents were horrified and actually paid to get her out and scrub her records (like with what was happening with Faux).

But then Rise keep doing writer stuff, again out of spite towards her parents, and kept getting caught, etc. Eventually they just forced her to move out of London (or maybe, Neo London? Who knows how bad the floods were in the rest of the world) where they were living, and she ends up in New Amsterdam from there. They would have disowned her on top of that, but then that would be even more of a scandal in their socialite circles, oh no!! So they just quietly sent her off and even try to pretend she's just overseas studying at some prestigious university or something.

The only "contact" Rise has with her parents these days is them actually sending her money every now and then. In their mind, if she isn't something like a doctor or CEO, it means she's probably living off of dirt without their help. She always donates the money they send her to a local charity, she sure as hell wouldn't want to keep it even if she did need it.

Rise doesn’t mind if people assume she’s just some rich kid that got into writer stuff for the sake of clout/because it was trendy. She doesn’t care for other people’s opinions too much, and besides she thinks her beef with her parents is between just her and them, and nobody else's business unless she chooses to share it.

Though, even after that, Rise tends to have trouble opening up to people, at least outside of being a writer and all. Especially when it comes to talking about her oceanic interests. So like, for my headcanons she ends up becoming besties with Rave and Shine in particular once they’re all with BRC! But even then, she’s afraid to bring up her interests, and for the longest time they mostly like to talk about writer stuff or gossip and the like. She gets there eventually, it just takes her a while.

---

Now for my Devil Theory OCs! I’ve already written a lot in this post, and these four might be a bit shorter than the rest all together. Also like with Rise, this is mostly copy-pasted and cleaned up/added to from a document I haven’t shared outside of a Discord server.

Sai

He is the spring palette Devil Theory guy, and the one in my headcanons/stories who ends up joining BRC. His parents started off verbally abusive with him as a small kid, until it escalated into physical abuse by the time he was in middle school. His dad was the source of the worst of it, but his mom definitely wasn’t a saint either in all of this, being abusive as well. It’s effectively a sense of “If my son wasn’t around, he’d just go after me” cowardice, just “agreeing” with her husband for her own safety. Sai at least had Daishō (and eventually Bō and Nunchaku) to help him through it, in particular Daishō letting him stay over at Daishō's house for days at a time just to avoid his parents.

Unfortunately, the abuse still continued whenever Sai came home. Despite what was happened, back then he still had hopes that his parents might change eventually. They hammered into him the mentality of “family is everything no matter what”, and was hoping that would actually win out in the end. But then because of that, he never really fought back, thinking it would just make things worse, even once he grew older and was physically capable of fighting back.

It also didn’t help that for most of his life living in New Amsterdam, Sai felt pretty isolated. Him and his parents moved from Puerto Rico (fun fact, with a lot of maps that show what the Earth would look like if all the ice caps melted, Puerto Rico is still around since most of it is actually pretty mountainous! So not as badly affected by any potential world flooding disasters, at least compared to Old Amsterdam and other places). He gets picked on a lot as a kid for being Latino and just generally an outsider. Even a lot of teachers and adults end up not trusting him due to his “attitude”.

Daishō is pretty much his only friend for a very long time, and before joining BRC he only ever considered him, Bō, and Nunchaku as his friends. Basically, he doesn’t feel like he has a lot of other people to turn to for help. And at any rate, he wouldn’t want to risk his own friends getting hurt because of his parents. Especially since, his dad in particular is a cop, and has been using those connections to cover up what’s been going on.

This eventually accumulated into his breaking point sometime in high school. His father managed to give him a nasty cut on his lower leg, and his mother just sloppily stitched it up, seeing no need to go to the hospital (because otherwise the people at the hospital would probably find out about what was going on). Sai eventually snapped sometime after that, and beat the fuck out of his dad.

He would have done the same to his mom (who, again, was also very much physically abusive, even if not to the same extent as his dad), if she hadn't managed to barricade herself in a bathroom. Afterwards, both his parents decided to skip town out of “embarrassment” instead of trying to involve the police against Sai (i.e. realizing that what they were doing to Sai would have to be investigated as well, in a way that couldn’t be covered up with cop connections anymore). He hasn’t seen them since and plans to keep it that way.

Is it any wonder the poor guy ends up with anger issues? He at least gets a better hold of them later in life at least, especially once he joins BRC.

Bō

Bō, the blond one (winter palette for Devil Theory), mostly dealt with his mother being horribly controlling and abusive to him (largely emotionally, but also sometimes physically). Meanwhile his father was a doormat who effectively enabled her, even helping her cover up what was going on.

At one point she attempted to homeschool him to protect him from being "corrupted”. She and the father followed, from what Bō could remember, a “very strange niche of Christianity”, with confusing ideology, seemingly just her picking and choosing what she wanted to believe from the Bible (which, unfortunately applies to a lot of Christians out there, but I digress…). They never actually went to church, but she would insist they were are True Christians. Her attempts at homeschooling him were equally confusing, at least for him.

But then that resulted in Bō needing to be held back a bit once the proper authorities found out she wasn't doing a good job, and thus forced her to let him attend regular school. They tried to catch him up as best as possible, but eventually just let the schools "handle" him from there. Between that and continued abuse at home, he was all around miserable during this time. Also really not helping that he ended up with poor social skills due to how his mother was isolating him so much.

Fun fact, he met Sai and Daishō sometime towards the end of primary school for all of them (roughly middle school, from what I can tell from research?). They had planned to bully him into helping them with homework, thinking an older kid would know more about what they were studying. But then they found out about him needing to catch up on a lot of things, and actually helped him out instead! Also for a frame of reference on ages, Bō is 31 in the present, while Sai and Daishō are both about 28, and Nunchaku is about 27.

Anyways, back to the note about his mother isolating him. She would also manipulate Bō’s relationships, either scaring off other kids he tried to make friends with, making him paranoid that they secretly hated him, or otherwise making it so that he could rarely (if ever) see them too often.

Daishō and Sai were the only ones she couldn’t successfully scare off nor turn Bō against. They also helped him stand up to her and defend himself. This eventually led to Bō being disowned and kicked out of his home for being so “disobedient”, but he considers this the best possible outcome. As far as he knows, his mother and father both moved out in the country to get away from the “corrupting” influence of the city, so at least he doesn’t have to worry about ever meeting them again.

Unfortunately, he was still left with a lot of issues. One is with food. She would often say she was going to cook one thing and then make something completely different, intentionally adding ingredients or buy snack foods that he didn’t like, or add certain spices that would alter the taste in ways he didn’t expect. She did this mostly as a way to make sure he wouldn’t be a picky eater, forcing him to eat or go hungry. Even if it meant eating something that he found repulsive.

As an adult, this resulted in Bō being very, very picky about his food. He wants it a certain way, and if it isn’t the way he wants or is expecting, he refuses to eat it. Especially if it’s something he hasn’t tried before, he needs to be told what it’s like, be able to at least sample it first, and if it’s homemade food he has to trust the person who’s cooking it anyways. For ordering at restaurants, if they get his order wrong, he’d rather just throw it out and go hungry than ask for them to correct it. His friends (and eventually Cueball) have to be the ones to step in and get it fixed, even when Bō insists they don’t have to, “I’m fine, really, I’m not that hungry anyways I swear!”

Another thing is that he’s afraid of the dark. This one was a result of his mom often locking him in their basement as a punishment whenever he acted up (i.e. just acting like a kid would). He’s embarrassed that he has to sleep with a night light, or really any sort of light, but his friends and Cueball are very accommodating of that.

Nunchaku

Appearance-wise she’s the one based off of Devil Theory’s summer palette. She was born and raised in the United States, specifically in California. Her parents placed a lot of pressure on her to be successful no matter the topic (school, sports, exercising, even just hobbies), but she could never meet their standards, nor did she really want to in the first place. This led to a lot of mental and emotional abuse related to that, most of it in the form of guilt-tripping her about not being able to do “better”.

Skateboarding was one hobby she kept secret from them, in particular because she knew they would try and force her to become the next Tony Hawk or something, when she wanted to keep it as a fun hobby for stress relief. Especially given everything else they were putting her through. Another hobby was fixing machines, including cars, which she mostly did in secret away from her parents lest they try and force her to study mechanical engineering or something.

After a certain point this escalated into physical abuse in the form of pushing Nunchaku past her limits for any physical training/exercising she did for sports in particular, as well as attempts to control her health and diet. In regards to school sports, they basically forced her to join just about every sport team the school had to offer, even if she hated the sport in question. There were times she thought she would die from a heart attack or just exhaustion in general. Other times she was either actually sick or just pretending to be sick in order to get out of practice and sneak off to finally relax.

She also wasn’t having a fun time at school anyways. She was pretty open about being a butch lesbian since maybe around middle school. Her parents at first tried to discourage it, but then eventually tried to use it to their advantage. In short, her dad was a local politician, a conservative one at that, and used his daughter as a sort of “See, I’m not a bigot, my daughter is a lesbian!” thing. Outside of that they didn’t really do much to be supportive, other than not mistreating her specifically because she’s a lesbian (which is, y’know, bare minimum).

Also, they didn’t bother helping her with the bullying she was dealing with at school over her identity and her being a part of every team (most of the other kids thought she was stuck up for doing that, not knowing/accepting that her parents were the ones to force her to do that). Most of Nunchaku’s real friends were either kids from outside of her school or online.

The latter is how she ended up friends with Sai, Daishō, and Bō! It was mostly a shared love of anime between the four of them, I think I mentioned that in the big DT post a while back? But yeah, eventually they became closer friends once they realized they were all deal with shitty parents, so then deciding to stick together and help support one another.

Truthfully, her eventual move to New Amsterdam was less “just moving”, and more her friends helping her successfully run away from home once she turned 18. As far as she knows, her parents have long since written her off as a “failure” and have stopped looking for her. She’s glad that they aren’t trying to drag her back, but deep down she’s also still hurt that they just gave up on her like that, after all the pressure they put on her.

Despite the whole “be good at ALL of the sports” obsession her parents had, Nunchaku still enjoys some sports and plays games with others. She’s just, y’know, not doing it to be the best, she just wants to have fun! Though there are times where she get competitive, like with writer stuff, but at least it’s on her own terms.

Daishō

Daishō, the leader of Devil Theory (also for appearance he’s the autumn palette), has been through some awful stuff himself. Though, a big part of his problems is that he’s convinced what he went through wasn’t nearly as bad as what his friends went through. Even though, trauma is not a competition. Still, I’ll get into that a bit more later.

Anyways, starting off with the root of his problems, his rich parents had a messy divorce around the time he was in early primary school (i.e. roughly early elementary school). The parents' animosity against one another was so bad to the point where they lived in separate houses, with Daishō actually living in a house of his own. His parents wanted to see each other as little as possible, so Daishō's "own" house would be where he was dropped off when he wasn’t meant to be with one of his parents. But because of how much both of them worked (and sometimes them going on vacations by themselves), he spent most of his time at that third house anyways.

He was basically cared for/raised by a nanny and a few housecleaners at this point, and those people were certainly a lot more like parents to him than his actual parents. He still sends his old nanny gift cards and stuff for the holidays, sometimes having lunch to catch up, etc. So just to emphasize, he has no love for either of his parents in the present day.

Anyways, both of his parents tried to manipulate him, in order to get him on their “side” against the other parent. Said manipulation changed often, but ranged from bribery, threats, and outright abuse. Never physical abuse, since they were at least careful not to leave “evidence” (with them thinking poor mental health resulting from shitty parents doesn’t count as evidence of anything bad).

Daishō himself was kind of desperate to either get his parents back together and maybe somehow fix the whole mess the three of them were in, or otherwise just get them to calm the hell down and leave him out of it. Him wanting to fix things was moreso when he was a kid, and then the latter was more as a teen when he started getting sick of their bullshit. Though sometimes his feelings would yo-yo between the two.

Eventually, all of this drama and manipulation led to an instance of attempted murder by his mother on him and his father. During which his father also left him for dead. Daishō got his foot almost hacked off by his own mom, but at least managed to get away despite what happened. The only other major downside to this is that she somehow got away with it in court. That whole thing basically killed what little hope he had left for either parent.

So from there, he just decided to beat them at their own game. Manipulating them, especially getting a ton of cash out of each of them in exchange for his "loyalty", telling lies about one parent to the other as “dirt” they could use later, stuff like that. After a certain point, he had effectively scammed enough money out of both of them that he felt safe enough to cut them both out of his life. The scamming was also enough to leave them both poor as hell, especially since they continued to use their respective money to try and get back at each other during all of this.

As far as he knows, his mom went back to her home country "in shame", while his dad just outright vanished. Good riddance either way, in his opinion.

So now going back to how he thinks what he went through wasn’t as “bad” as what the others went through. Other than the murder, he thinks it wasn't as bad because they weren't "directly" abusive towards him, at least not all of the time like what the other three went through.

Because of that he feels like he has to be the one to make sure everyone else is alright and happy. He has to be the one in charge, he has to be the one to fix things, he has to be the one to organize things, because his friends deserve to have that kind of happiness before he does.

Of course, with what happened in the game, he and his friends almost getting killed by Faux has put a lot of guilt on Daishō. Especially since he was mainly the one pushing for their deal with Faux, being convinced that Faux would have their backs and they could enjoy being All City and keep having fun together. With how badly things turned out, the guilt is still eating him up to this day...

One Last Section for Devil Theory

Just going over how each of them lost at least part of their legs, which led to all of them ending up with the cybernetic legs they have in the game:

With Sai, the cut on his lower leg got badly infected, made worse from him trying to hide it from both his friends and just people in general, not to mention being worried that going to the hospital might lead to him getting arrested if they found out what he did to his dad. Eventually it got bad enough that there was no saving it and he had to get that part of his leg amputated.

Bō lost part of his legs not from anything his mother did, but while he was an adult, long after being disowned by her. It was due to an accident (i.e. a failed secret test with a walking tank, where other people got injured as well), which got covered up by the police. Bō actually isn’t even sure what exactly happened that day, no one else who got injured know either, especially not that it was because of the police in the first place.

For Nunchaku, she lost most of her lower legs due to a factory accident as an adult. With her being new to New Amsterdam once she moved, she was in desperate need of a job, and ending up working for a shady factory that had a ton of questionable dealings and safety regulations. Her getting hurt lead to many other employees quitting, because it was the last straw and a bunch of other employees also got badly injured in the same accident. It was in fact the most severe accident at that factory up to that point, which led to it being finally shut down. She now works as a mechanic at a shop run by another former factory employee who was her mentor.

Lastly, for Daishō, when his mother tried to kill him, his foot ended up so mangled that he was better off just amputating it. It didn’t help that he also had to crawl and even walk with it for a while before he managed to get it looked at. Mostly because he went into hiding for a bit because, y’know, attempted murder.

With all of them getting injuries that resulted in cutting off a foot or lower leg (I'm imagining a bit after Bō's accident, that was the last one chronologically), Daishō ends up declaring, "Clearly we're all fucking cursed, let's just get this over with already." And paid for all of them to just get what's left of their lower legs replaced with fancy cybernetics, as seen in the game. This eventually leads them to becoming writers ("With these legs we could probably manage it pretty good, right?"), and then forming Devil Theory.

Not to mention the abuse all four of them faced, from their parents, and even other people like employers as adults, led to them adopting an "If the world wants to treat you like trash, then you should be allowed to trash it right back" kind of attitude. Hence how they act as Devil Theory.

Suffice to say, a lot of the problems they caused as Devil Theory would have been avoided if they all got some dang therapy!! Bō at least went for a bit as an older teen after being disowned, but stopped after a while, convincing himself he’s “fine” now. The rest refuse outright though also insist they're fine. They're not fine. They’ll get better eventually, but it will require someone convincing them that they’re not really fine, and them accepting that in turn.

So… I think that’s it. I know this is, a lot. So much. Maybe too much, lol. But if you read this all the way through, then thank you!!

[rollercoasterwords]

one and seven for the ask game!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hi lia <3 <3

Have you pulled inspiration from media sources other than the property your fic is related to (a plot point from a TV show that has nothing to do with the characters/setting of the fic, a line from a book, etc.)? If so, for which story? Why did you find that media source compelling?

absolutely yes! i mean fic in particular is extremely derivative but honestly all writing is derivative...i am always pulling inspiration from other stories i've loved which have stuck w me <3 gonna focus on wfrau in particular just to avoid this answer getting too long + bc that's what i've been writing most recently but. i've pulled inspiration from the animorphs series bc there are lots of fun ethical dilemmas brought up throughout that stuck w me after reading it; a particular scene from the anime 'banana fish' influenced james's story, though i can't say much more abt that without risking spoilers for the anime...if you've seen it you'll probably know which scene it influence tho lol. the crypt ch was influenced by book 4 of the fablehaven series which i read growing up as a kid--i loved book 4 bc it involved the main characters going on a mission into this underground treasure vault and having to fight past different traps to deeper down...so fun <3 the idea to write a werewolf fighting ring au in the first place came from me remembering a book i'd read as a kid called 'the abused werewolf rescue group,' though i couldn't actually tell you anything abt the plot anymore...and i'm sure there are a thousand other bits & pieces of media that have been floating around in my brain as i've written but those r the main ones coming to mind rn!

7. Share a line or paragraph you’ve written that you don’t think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don’t hoard cut sentences and passages like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)

ugh see i really should save my writing better...generally w the way i write i'm not usually cutting entire scenes but it has happened once or twice & i've just. deleted it...

i can share a snippet of a pandalily time war au that i wrote about 2 pages of like 2 years ago but don't think i'll ever return to/complete so it will likely never see the light of day...here u go:

The low chatter—that is something that does not change. Gather enough people into a room, call it a party, close your eyes and it could be 1992 in Los Angeles or 761 in Koumbi Saleh or 1674 in Beijing. Humans will buzz like insects no matter what time you put them in, forever and ever and ever. Sometimes Lily wishes that they still existed; she scrubs the thought from her hard drive before her programming reads it as a virus. Humans do exist, forever. One only has to choose the right time.

This time, she is drinking wine. She is wandering through bodies, smiling and feeling the way it shapes her face. She steps past the marble columns, onto the terrace, under the moonlight that kisses her eyelids so gently when she closes them. She can feel the light, you know. That’s something she can do.

“Red suits you.”

The person beside her is a woman, today, or something like it. She wears the same clothing, white sweep of cloth, though she’s never quite able to get the same softness. It drapes willowy, slow-moving, with fingers that gnarl like roots.

“I’m too tired to kill you tonight,” Lily says, biting through the Latin with her canines like rich meat. “Go somewhere else.”

The woman smiles, slow and creeping, a lichen on the bark of a tree.

“Another place?”

“Another time.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I like the wine.”

She isn’t drinking any. She watches the cup in Lily’s hands. When Lily takes a sip, the woman’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, pink and human.

“They have wine later,” Lily tells her, “And before.”

“Not like here,” the woman says, “Not like tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

“And what makes it different tonight?”

The woman smiles. She is standing so very close. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

fic writer ask game

[bestworstcase]

I'm still on the train of thought that if Ruby is going to have some kind of violent outburst as part of this breakdown, she's more likely to direct it towards breaking crescent rose than attacking anyone like Neo or Jaune (an internalized sort of anger for perceived failings, she's supposed to be the ideal hero, the hopeful one, leader with all the answers but she just can't anymore, and by extension any desire to put that weight down for a while means something is wrong with her, not the world that put her in this position to begin with).

Maybe Neo might push the issue and make herself an acceptable target for her to vent that anger towards in the form of violence instead, but honestly Ruby just seems fucking tired right now more than angry. I don't fully understand where this desire to see her go bloodthirsty on someone is coming from?

now THIS i can see. what immediately sprang to mind is a parallel to ruby cutting down a tree with one slice to vent her feelings in V1—except this time smashing crescent rose blunt-side into something like a boulder or pillar. the same overpowering wordless fury exploding out as this flash of impulsive destruction, but directed at crescent rose instead of using crescent rose as the instrument for that feeling. and then i’d imagine, shortly afterward some dawning regret and maybe fixing the damage or reforging crescent rose altogether as part of working through the underlying crisis. i think that fits neatly with where ruby’s at rn. and it would be a really potent way to visually showcase what she’s feeling!

the other thing i’ve been thinking is that ruby might have taken it with her when she left because she’s going to look for the blacksmith. the blacksmith made her an offer, which ruby declined on the grounds that she already had (or used to have) her own weapon, and anyway she can handle it—and the blacksmith accepted that refusal but also added “if you change your mind…”—& now ruby’s realizing that she really can’t handle it and in fact doesn’t WANT to be forced to carry this burden, and she has the weapon that represents that burden in her hands now, and the blacksmith implicitly told her to come back if things changed. so…

one of the big questions i have for 9.8 is whether ruby is going to miserably isolate herself (like she did in V8) or if she’s going to try asking the ever after for help. bc right from the start, this world has been telling her “you don’t have to. you can stop. you get to choose. what do YOU want?” and i think that played a huge role in bringing this to the surface. its the combination of being so beaten down AND the sudden contrast of how the ever after cares about how she feels and what she wants.

it’s often difficult to see how bad things really are until you lurch into a better situation by accident. and then it hits you like a truck.

how things shake out with neo depends a lot, i think, on what order they happen. there’s three (or four) like, obvious items on the narrative to-do list for ruby’s breakdown: 1. little helping her figure out what she is, 2. confrontation with neo, and 3. the second encounter with the blacksmith; and possibly 4. a ponderstorm. (if the ponderstorm occurs separately. i think it’s more likely the storm will be the narrative scaffolding for the first three points, bc it’s both more efficient and more compelling to do all of this sort of ‘together’ rather than sequentially.)

the big question is which comes first. i figure the sequencing will be either little -> neo -> blacksmith, with neo interrupting the little conversation and the resultant confrontation/storm leading them ultimately to the blacksmith. OR, blacksmith + little -> neo, with ruby’s crystallizing NEED to change answered immediately by the blacksmith, ruby figuring out at least a rough idea of what ‘laying her burden down’ means to her, and then coming face-to-face with neo at the moment when she’s made a decision but doesn’t yet know how to put it into practice.

it’s not… impossible that she encounters neo first, i wouldn’t be surprised per se if that’s what happens, but it does seem a lot less likely to me, mostly bc ruby is in SUCH rough shape rn. she can’t fight. the bloody rampage theory hinges on the assumption that ruby will just snap out of it if she gets mad enough, but i don’t think that… tracks, really? (especially not when this is postulated as what fixes her. killing ADAM was portrayed as 1. completely, unequivocally morally justified and necessary, and 2. still a profoundly upsetting experience for both of them but especially for blake. and y’all think ruby going berserk and brutally killing or maiming neo in a blind rage would be IN ANY WAY treated as constructive or healing? what show are you watching?)

so if she does encounter neo first, i think there will have to be some sort of complication to swerve the confrontation away from being a serious physical altercation. bc if it’s a physical altercation and ruby hasn’t gotten the chance to at least begin working through this stuff, she either runs away or neo kills her.

i think the most plausible options for what the complication might be are 1. a ponderstorm hits them and they’re put into a space where violent engagement flat out isn’t possible, or else 2. ruby reacts in a way that is so wildly at odds with neo’s revenge fantasy that neo’s violent intention stalls out. bc like one of the really interesting things about neo as an antagonist is she’s both single-minded but also very fickle. her desire for vengeance initially focused on cinder, and cinder redirected it toward ruby with remarkable ease. she’s committed but lacks any real conviction. so i think ruby might be able to deflect her, at least temporarily, just by not following the script.

but i do think it’s more likely that neo will happen after ruby has, like, at least had a moment to catch her breath and really feel the enormity of what she just did. for “i don’t want to be a huntress anymore.“ to crystallize as a conscious thought and desire that she can acknowledge. if only bc it allows for this progression from “i’m NOT a huntress.” to “…so then what am i?” to coming face-to-face with neo and choosing deliberately to deal with her not like a huntress. neo potentially is kind of ruby’s answer to herself, to this question of “what are you going to become?” that has to follow after “i’m done being a huntress.”

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

20 questions for writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

81 at the time of answering this. I'm constantly adding new ficlets though, and actively working on two unpublished wips that I'm very excited about. 

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

471,069

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Steddie. My hobby is just Steddie. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

🐉 Hic sunt dracones

🦇 Possession 

🔥 Whatever you want it to be 

(WTF, that only finished posting earlier this month, are you all insane???)

👨‍👩‍👧 Someone who cares

🧜‍♂️ Just add water

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! (Well, except the outright rude ones, but I can count those on one hand.) You took time out of your day to tell me what you thought of my fic, and that is so incredibly motivating and means so much to me! 🥰

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I yet have to write an actual long fic with an unhappy ending, but i once made Steve come back wrong and killed everyone but Eddie and him for a ficlet, does that count? 😅

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of my long fics have happy endings, but Hic sunt dracones probably has the happiest to me. They're mated and disgustingly in love and it's flower crowns and apple pie and hot, hot monsterfucking forever after. 🐉🔥❤️

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've been called racist and ableist and British, among other things, but 99.9% of all reactions I get are lovely! 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've … been known to write smut, yeah. 🤣 

I love exploring all sorts of different vibes and dynamics, but I think porn with feelings is what I do best.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, just wild AUs. 🐉🧜🏻😈

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I co-wrote an original work with a school friend some 20 years ago. And by co-wrote I mean we took turns with the document and key-smashed what we thought should happen next where the other had left off. 🤣

The King’s Gift will be a very close collaboration between @house-of-the-moving-image and I bc we've developed the idea and the entirety of the plot together and are bringing it alive through our respective mediums. It's heaps of fun! ✨️

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

(drumroll) (expectant silence)

It's Steddie, people. Not only because they've quite literally eroded my brain, but also because of the wonderful people I've found and the beautiful experiences I've made and continue to make in this fandom. I've never been active in any fandom before, but I'm so, so glad I've taken the leap. 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I try to finish all my WIPs and am very much committed to finishing the two I have ongoing rn. 

That being said, there's a bunch of microfics and drabbles I'd love to expand on if I ever find the time (lake monster and ballerina Steve, I see you). 😅

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've repeatedly been told that I create very vivid images with my writing, and that's something I find really lovely. And I love world building. ✨️🥰

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Wordy bitch disease. I ramble, I spiral, I spin completely out of control. The amount of fics that ended up being much longer than I initially thought is embarrassing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve never actually done that. I’d definitely enlist the help of someone who is proficient enough in the language in question to ensure I don’t make an utter ass of myself. 😅

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The wizard who must not be named. I must’ve been fourteen or something? It was probably so bad, and sometimes I think I'd like to re-read it again, but it’s now lost on some hard drive in a junkyard somewhere, hopefully never to be seen again. 🪦

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I love all of my fics, each for its own reasons, but Hic sunt dracones will forever hold a special place in my heart. It is everything I ever dreamed of when I fantasized about writing and publishing my own fics but was too shy to do so. I’ve met and befriended amazing people over it. It has fanart. Even close to one year after I finished it, people are still telling me how much they loved it, and it feels so wonderful to know my writing resonated so much with somebody out there. I can never talk about it without getting all up in my feels. 🐉🥲💕

Some zero-pressure tags: @eyesofshinigami @vecnuthy @sidekick-hero @penny00dreadful 💕

[shougojo]

RULES ₊˚⊹

please make sure to read through this carefully before accessing my masterlist or following me, my thanks if you don’t just scroll to the bottom !

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW

blog is purely sfw !! although there might be hinted some suggestive — nothing too serious though !!

jjk & hsr centered blog !!

im very delusional, so if u don’t want to hear my brainrots, then pls kindly exit my page :)

not spoiler free. i tend to use kaomojis & type in all lowercase — unless im feeling happy — i might type in uppercase.

inconsistent posting schedule & updates are random.

spam like (4+) = block.

i go on queue very often due to my busy life & schedule, so please be patient with me !!

if you’d like to break the mutual, i’d really appreciate it if u just directly message me, since i’d like to be aware !! but hardblock would alright too.

blank blogs / p*rn blogs and such + ageless blogs will be blocked !!

my requests are always open !

im also fine w nsfw blogs interacting, except p*rn or anything similar.

im a near graduate in high school & have a job, which means i have a pretty busy schedule & i can’t be on tumblr 24/7. please be kind & considerate on this blog. i go on tumblr when i have free time, so don’t expect me to be as active.

INTERACTIONS

first things first, my inbox is always open for interactions, questions; q&a, talks of our favs, thirsts, or casual conversations !! im a v chill person and love to talk w moots, anons, and/or anyone nice !! :D

feel free to use pet names & nicknames !! moots are free to use them, although please keep them appropriate

im v approachable, so feel free to come talk w me anytime !! ≧０≦

basic dni criteria. please don’t trauma dump.

please respect everyone’s boundaries on this blog.

i do not accept unnecessary, hateful, or unwanted comments or behavior. this is a safe place. i do not tolerate any negativity

please don’t be afraid to tag me in games, picrews, art, etc. !! (i love doing them)

idm any age interacting, but my preference is at least +14 / 30- or just don’t be weird.

it takes time for me to respond back to asks, since i go on queue a lot. i’m sorry if it takes awhile for ur ask to come in :< i promise i’m not ignoring you !!

WRITING

this blog is multifandom; i write for honkai star rail, blue lock, genshin impact, & jujutsu kaisen.

i only write for gender neutral & female reader, but it may lean towards female.

i mostly write for male characters, but some female characters are fine. no minors !! + if you have any questions about a character, ur more than welcome to ask

i do not write for the following content: nsfw, yandere, character x character, self harm, cheating, abuse, heavy angst, or any other sensitive content.

ideas / suggestions / thirsts are always welcomed !

my writing formats come in drabbles & headcannons, specify when requesting ( or ill decide )

i have the right to decline your request. if u don’t see ur request in the next following (multiple) weeks, then its’s probably bc it doesn’t fit my rules or i can’t make something up — other than that, i have nothing against you !

im srry if my works end up cringe or ooc; but i promise i put all my heart into writing it!

pretty please use credit if u find inspo in my works !!

please & thank you’s r necessary

don’t be mean or rude when requesting please.

here’s my masterlist, enjoy !!

[daenerysoftarth]

Blargh. Ok so I purposely didn’t hit on my roommate or pursue anything because I knew she is more than a little Messy, and that she’s definitely more into men, and she gets attached to guys quickly it seems like. Which okay cool. Even without addressing the issue of if she would be interested in the first place, I’m not looking to be someone’s lap dog while they have a real boyfriend.

but anyways. last night happened. we both got super drunk and she suggested we play truth or dare and I think she’s hot and I’m bored so I say sure. anyways. we end up kissing on a dare. then game progresses. I’m too drunk to go downstairs but need sleep so I climb in her bed. at this point other roomie carries her into bed. she’s freaking out bc of this guy that dumped her. I’m comforting her. i don’t remember what happened but somehow we end up making out more and almost almost having sex. i wanted to but half of me was nervous af, and the other half made me realize we were wayyy too drunk. and she says she finds me hot but still has feelings for other roomie no 4 AND apparently she fucked roomie no 3 who has a girlfriend???????????

idk it’s stressing me out

but I’m fucking desperate and have horrible self esteem that like I still kinda want to take what I can get, even tho I do deserve a better situation than this. but it’s a terrible idea. but didn’t stop me from texting her that I didn’t care if she hurt my feelings bc I’m patheticcccc

tbh I don’t even really want a relationship with her. we’re not interested in the same things or alike in any way. but I still feel used tbh. and idk. it just makes me remember how much I want that, ie a loving partner who I can fuck all the time. and it makes me remember how much I miss sex and how. idk. how isolating the pandemic has been and how fundamentally unlovable it made me feel.

but also!!!! I’m horny!!! and a fwb thing kinda sounds nice rn!! I just am horrible at separating my emotions from sex so idk if it’s sustainable. but fuck it, that’s what ur 20s are for

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Do you have any podcasts or episodes on Larry that you'd recommend? I have basically listened to that one and the Reply All episode. I'd welcome any others that you thought were good.

Well, yes i have many that I could recommend. I didn’t hesitate to list them all so here you go. It’s not necessarily a list of recommendations bc I mainly listen to them for taking in different perspectives but I barley if ever agree with them. It depends on what your looking for I guess. i did comment the ones that I found the most interesting/ entertaining (yes I have a lot of time bc I’m stuck in quarantine rn🤧😷)

Who is Larry Stylinson- Pop Unmuted (seems like it’s not available anymore now but this was always my absolute fave so if anyone finds a way to still listen to it pls share! This is the academic kind of take I was talking about, Ralph, you would like it, I’m sure)

Larry Stylinson: When fandom goes too far - Name 3 Songs (they work in the media themselves, discussing boundaries and toxic fandom, discussing gay stereotypes, tend to be against the idea of it but break it down and also have their weak, sus moments in it, very very good!)

One direction Babygate - Lizard People (my fave, they aren’t in fandom at all, they spill some tea about Briana, it’s a pod about conspiracy theories, they have a lot of fun, no bad feelings, one of them fully believes it, most entertaining episode ever, I don’t take it seriously but I loved it!! listened to it so many times already just bc I’m so entertained by these two!)

The Larridox Part 1 - What I will say (more of an anti, mod is a gaylor, they are convinced of gryles and Taylor’s gay relationships, it’s an interesting take but not necessarily my cup of tea, they have some very good older episodes about the industry and closeting with someone who’s experienced it themselves)

Larry - Bait: queerbaiting podcast (they aren’t in fandom, they don’t like shipping people in general but were having a blast talking about Larry, very fun but also kinda superficial)

Larry Stylinson (Episode #7) - Callsheet! (Not in fandom, breaking it down, keeping it real, it’s fun and light, they joke around the whole time, it’s like talking about Larry with your besties in school, I found it very endearing, nice to listen to if you have to clean up your room)

Shit larries say Podcast (not a recommendation at all but I find it too fascinating to not mention it here, you gotta have some nerves for this one, an anti conspiracist, she hates larries/ Larry, has great knowledge about the workings behind conspiracy theories tho, seems a little narrow minded to me, it can be entertaining but it’s an eye roll to me for the most part, you might get frustrated)

Other ones that aren’t that good but still kinda fun:

1. Red Herrings with Sh*t larries say - I met you in LJ, 2. Larry Deep Dive - Not to be a bitch but, 3. Larry - Big Bitch Engergy, 4. Looking back at Babygate - 2 Girls 1D, 5. Larry Stylinson : We’ll just wait it out - You know what I’ve been wondering —> some of them have more than one episode! Almost all of them just discuss Larry and the timeline.

Ralph, Im not sure that you would like most of them bc personally I just really enjoy listening to different perspectives. The first one is a true gem so I’m really frustrated that it’s not available anymore. it was until a few weeks ago. The second one is very good imo although they are really biased and lean more into the anti side of fandom but I recommend it! I’d be very interested to hear what you think about that one. And you really have to listen to the bbg episode by lizard people in case you wanna have a great time. All of them are available on either Spotify or apple podcast (apart from the first one, someone send me an audio of that episode, I need it! 🙄😪I still had to mention it here just in case). The reply all episode was also on my list, originally. I haven’t listen to it in a while. I only remember that they had larries as their guests and that I was a little irritated by them. But their approach to it by having someone invited who got confused by fans as Eleanor’s brother was very interesting to me. That’s it. Sorry this is way too long. I’m just a podcast kind of person.

Thanks so much for sharing anon - this is a great list.

I've found the Pop Unmuted episode and listened to it. What a moment in time to have captured - April 2016 was such a key moment of transition. The idea that fans believed that Louis' wasn't Freddie's father had gone mainstream and suddenly everything was being talked about much wider, but in a way that ended up making these conversations much more difficult to have.

Thanks so much for the recommendation. I really enjoyed it and thought it was really interesting, although I do get very annoyed when people suggest Larrie ideas that I see as completely unsubstantial alongside ones that I think are important. (The bears are interesting enough! There's no need to shoehorn the September 28 nonsense in!)

I'm really looking forward to some of these - I'll probably stay away from the hard antis. I listen to Cam from What I Will Say quite regularly, but find her take on Larry infuriating. I do want at least some curiosity.

I've just started listening to the Lizard People episode and that seems super fun as well (and recorded around the same time).

[cryptidofthekeys]

welp im starting to feel like writing again

and I have a consistent plan before I start any new WIPs

I’ve got at least four more spooky month stories in my WIPs as of rn (there’s gonna be more but uh next time the content will feature my OC named CC, and its gonna be some AU stuff)

--------------------------

but as of rn I’ve got these to do

1: Real Vampire Streber n Kevin

2: Lost Footage thing w/ Bob (I don’t have a title for that one yet, but its closer to being done than uh Strebs n Kevin so that one might come first)

3: Hunt Gone Wrong ...Again, another Bob story- this one is just a fun lil idea I’m experimenting with

and 4: Happy Fella and a Tiny Sad Guy

--------------------------

So those are what I have for SM in general anyways- I’m also gonna hold off on Kev n Strebs for the moment bc I’m deciding rn about whether or not to make it into a chapter or two or one long story

So I’m sure that uh the lost footage story will come out before the Strebs/Kev one-

[barmadumet]

Tag game to better know you

Thanks for the tag @thetorontokid ❤️ This feels very aol 1998 and I love it!!

What book are you currently reading?

Nothing 🫣 I started Brotherhood and never finished it if that counts as “currently reading.” I will finish it when time allows!

What's your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I don’t think I’ve been to the moves since TROS 😂

What do you usually wear?

LOTS of t-shirts of all different sizes depending on mood. And they’re worn with jeans, cargos, or skirts. Love a good kimono to dress it all up.

How tall are you?

5'4"

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Scorpio ♏️ I have the same birthday as Ming-Na Wen! Which is fun, bc Star Wars, but also bc I was obsessed with Mulan when it came out and all through my teen years… so much so that I put a dragon on my class ring instead of the school mascot like a normal girl 😂

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Nickname here (Barma) and a different nickname irl.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I was supposed to be an unwed psychologist with 4 cats. None of those happened 😂 (I have always had strange ambitions 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

See above lol - Married! 💍

What's something you're good at vs. something you're bad at?

I’m good at putting myself in other people’s shoes. I can find sympathy for ANYONE even if popular opinion says it isn’t deserved. I’m always looking for the reasoning behind a person’s actions and am quick to defend.

I am very bad at taking criticism, so much so that I’ll avoid putting myself out there at the risk of negative feedback. I am a perfectionist, and I’m bad a failing! I’d rather not even try than run the risk of failure. This online persona has helped with that tho 😊 Barma is less afraid 💪

Dogs or cats?

See above lmao - Cats! 🐈

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Idk if my writing counts since the chapters I’ve put out so far this year were originally written last year or the year before… so I’ll say my Valentines obikin photo session 😃

What's something you'd like to create content for?

I just want to keep doing the obikin thing, because it makes me happy. Fingers crossed for new story ideas after the current WIP wraps. 🤞

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Well, it’s always going to be Star Wars, but specifically rn, I’m finding a renewed appreciation for Boga🦎 It’s a whole healing process thing.

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

2023 is still young! I am excited about May 4th this week, finishing my fic in July, and my road trip to get a tattoo to commemorate it. REALLY hoping none of those will be disappointing.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

Financial planning/advising. No, it’s not what I do for a living, but I’ve often helped friends, family, and even businesses with creating budgets, debt consolidation, and all that good stuff. Maybe it’s what I should be doing for a living, but that whole fear of failing thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are you religious?

I can’t not be. I’ve experienced way too much 🕊️

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

WELLNESS! I’ve been sick for over a week now.

I want to tag everyone! So if you see this, and want to do it, please do! But here’s a handful of friends bc I like to follow protocol 😂

@kana7o @unspuncreature @justaminion @wibzen87 @tunglo NO PRESSURE!

[bernardisgross]

Warning for : tca, eating disorder, depression

this is just a block of babbling

Today i chopped lots of veggies to freeze and cook later ! I’m exhausted rn but so happy ^^ ! I had a bit of extra money this month thanks to my employer being scared of gov retribution and finally giving us our yearly bonus ^^ so i went out several times this week to buy lots of food !!! Yesterday was such a nice day i went downtown with my cart and walked for three hours from one shop to the other then back home to get special imported groceries i can’t find near me. I’m planning on doing some meal prep again ! wow ... haven’t doing that in a long while ! I used to do that a lot in uni (back then i was unemployed and i got so extra careful with groceries when i started living in dorms which lasted for humm ?? 4 years ??) and especially when i was living in japan. I was EXTRA super poor back then so i had all these pre-portioned stuff i had cooked myself in the freezer (thank goodness i had a freezer in my dorm room °_°) and thanks to that i could get a meal a day. But i was also eating the same chicken/kimchi/veggies/shirataki/rice meal everyday. I got so tiiiired of the prepping and eating the same thing when i came home, i couldn’t do that anymore ! It’s been four-five years and i’m still feeling sick from the “idea” of being limited in what i can eat.

I got sick twice this month and i totally know it’s because my body’s weak from overworking myself with work/shop/work/commission/event, lack of sleep and not eating well enough. Well ! can’t go back in time ! This weekend i went to work feeling so bad and everybody could see how pathetic i was haha but they were all nice so it’s ok! glad i didn’t miss (*is poor*). Anyways, twice is too much u_u *big sigh* so i’ll be more careful in the future ! Can’t say i’ll eat well everyday but next shop opening or something, i’ll be sure to plan nutritious stuff in advance !

Because the problem here is mainly that i don’t wanna cook nor plan groceries :/ . Oh i still have an appetite, i don’t think i can get rid of it LOL it’s in my genes at this point to love food and love eating ! i just don’t feel like doing it anymore and i have a very convenient supermarket right round the corner of my street so °_° .. just picking what i feel like eating when i do even if it’s not a proper meal ! I’ve had a sandwich phase recently, i ate so many of the pre-made disgusting sandwiches TOT !!!!!!!! i don’t like ready-made stuff but boy was i eating these sandwiches !!! so convenient, didn’t take me any time ! I’ve grown tired of them thank goodness ...

I talked with a friend and coworker who’s pretty much going through the same and it’s nice to have someone else near who you can mention it to bc it can easily put you in a tight spot, ppl (and i include myself) are often quick to worry and thus chastise you for bad “habits”. I know it’s out of love but it’s tiring nonetheless. It’s nice to have someone understand it’s not a habit and that whatever you’re eating it’s ok, as long as you’re eating !!!!! That’s the 1st step and it’s great !

Something else is that i eat very differently from what i used to ! i still eat meat and fish but only cook fish from time to time. I only eat meat if i eat from a restaurant (or if i buy disgusting triangle sandwiches 🙄), i don’t wanna cook it anymore. Trying to stop eating it completely but i know it takes time and i do have a “weak” body. So all that to say that everything i’m used to cook (and i used to looove cooking for myself) well .. is kinda out of the party now huh... it’s not hard to make the same dishes without the meat though, but sometimes i’m really like :I ok .. something’s amiss but i don’t have like.. tofu in the fridge. ALSO i’m a lazy person ;9 and i don’t like inconveniences

also food is hella expensive.... bro..... the corpos... they’re out of control.......... the price of things in the stores .. °_° bro.. u ok ??? they really said “then, starve”

Also wanna mention i’m only able to think about this and actually putting in the work in gathering ingredients etc bc i’m not doing anything else. Like, this is the moment, it’s now or never ! I’m in a slow period with work so i’m just .. well doing nothing (RESTING!!!!) which allows me to actually try to cook ! Also mentioning that i’ve still been eating random stuff during that last few days of hunting and gathering HAHAHA (bread...bo-bun from the shop, apples, bananas, bro i can’t even remember what i ate on monday and tuesday ?????) so .. prepping’s great but let’s see if i actually take stuff out of the freezer and heat them ;9

une affaire... à suivre 😎

[maruyaaya]

Hey Imeda! I am Low! I read your Pandalily fic recently and I adored it! I saw that you haven't had this account long and since I can't peruse/stalk your account to satiate my curiosity I've decided to inquire here :) I hope you don't mind.

Do you have any specific Pandora or Lily headcanons you can share? Do you have any WIPs in the works? Do you have any songs you are listening to on repeat right now? What are the top 5 ships that are giving you the most insistent brain rot currently?

And finally, I am done pestering you and I'm wishing you a day full of wonder <3

OMG HI LOW!! yes absolutely i am always happy to talk about pandalily they are my beloveds <3 yeah i set up this acc relatively recently bc i wanted a fresh start for my ao3 and i haven’t really had the chance to do much on it yet (i am unfortunately a full time university student) but i am so happy you sent an ask bc i am always excited to talk to ppl!! feel free to send more asks or even dm me for whatever reason!!

i’m gonna do the pandalily headcanons last bc i have so many of them, but firstly do i have any wips:

oh i ABSOLUTELY have wips. i actually am the worst at starting wips and never finishing them, but as for main ones i’m working on rn, i have a prongsfoot wip that’s currently around 50k words 75% done, a marauders x daisy jones & the six au, a (you have to hear me out on this one okay bc i know nobody ships this but me BUT HEAR ME OUT) friends with benefits sirius x barty fic that’s about half done, and another pandalily fic that is basically just taking shape but i don’t have much to say about it yet (im actually just the worst multishipper ever and i ship my favourite character, sirius, with every single person who dares to so much as breathe in his direction)

songs on repeat

ok so i am totally willing to just link my spotify, in fact: here and i have a pandalily playlist in the works here, but specifically, i’ve had never love an anchor by the crane wives, three by sleeping at last, and funeral by phoebe bridgers on loop over and over as well as the entire daisy jones & the six album.

top 5 ships giving me brainrot

1. PRONGSFOOT!! prongsfoot is forever in my head as one of my fav ships ever

2. pandalily! i absolutely adore their dynamic and the little version of them that i have created in my head

3. rosekiller. i think this is a relatively unpopular opinion but i am so intrigued by their dynamic and i’m currently in the process of drafting a LONG fic about them but i haven’t done much work on it yet

4. dorlene. UGH MY OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS i am forever obsessed with them and i can’t believe i haven’t written them yet

5. normally i’d have jegulus around here i think but currently i’ve been having intensive brainrot about the idea of a dynamic between barty and sirius. i think they’re two characters who are very similar and yet hate each other and i think it’s really interesting to explore a two sides of the same coin dynamic between them and idk i have a lot of thoughts about them i could absolutely rant for a very long time abt the sirius/barty dynamic i have in my head

bonus bc it isn’t a marauders ship but my favourite ship of ALL TIME is soukoku, aka dazai/chuuya from bungou stray dogs. i like them a Normal amount (i’m crazy abt them)

and now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, here are a few of my pandalily headcanons that i can think of off the top of my head

first of all, my fav pandalily song is trouble by halsey. it’s literally them. that’s their dynamic to me

pandora’s much more open about her oddness and want for Blood while lily is more closed off about it. it’s still there—absolutely still there—but pandora kind of awakens it in her and helps her to realize that it’s okay to show that part of her

they met through james and regulus and often go on double dates with them

they absolutely get matching tattoos. probably ethel cain lyrics or something abt the inherent eroticism of cannibalism idk

my favourite headcanon is that pandora and evan are twins and evan tries to get lily the shovel talk when he meets her for the first time, but actually just ends up half in love with her bc he thinks she’s so cool

speaking of, evan and lily joke that they’re going to run away and elope so that evans name could be evan evans and pandora thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

bonus headcanon that evan is the older twin by a few minutes but pandora tells everyone that she is and he doesn’t correct her

they watched bones and all together and every 5 minutes they would whisper “this is so us” to each other

they absolutely LOVE baking together. they do it at least once a week and they make cookies or cupcakes or something and decorate them like pinterest photos and give them to their friends

they have two shared pinterest boards. one is really cutesy baking ideas and cute room decor inspo and the other is full of quotes abt cannibalism and blood and eating each other whole. they treasure both of these boards equally

lily is the biggest taylor swift fan ever and she makes pandora listen to her songs together. pandora moderately enjoys taylor swift, but will listen to her constantly to please lily. lily’s favourite song is this is me trying and pandora likes cowboy like me

they give each other flowers all the time (notably lilies ofc). pandora can’t stand to watch them die and always presses them and keeps them all in a little notebook with the date they got them

they’re obsessed with biting each other. like not even just during sex, they do it all the time. they’ll be watching a movie and pandora will just reach over and bite lily’s shoulder for fun

their favourite show to watch together is hannibal. they’re crazy about it. they rewatch it all the time to an unhealthy extent

they often say really strange declarations of love to each other in front of other people like “i want to eat you down to the bones” or “i want to rip open your skin and crawl inside your kidneys and sleep in there” and everyone around them just laughs nervously and can’t tell if they’re serious or not

i probably rambled much more than i needed to but i am always very excited to talk!!

[veryconfusedunlabeledguy]

Talk Hockey to Me

(a game of tags)

i was tagged by @starscelly tysm king i give you a respectable high five

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

the second game i went to! the first one was good for sure (we got the fun lil borgy and matty christmas tree video during one of the breaks) but the second one!! i actually looked into stuff and it was everything ig you’d want from a game? my team won, we had some fun lil fights idk.. and then afterwards i stumbled upon rpf which. game changer lowkey (i read several fics having no idea what any of the people i was reading about looked like which was fun but we figured it out)

2. Your first ever fandom friend

i think probably cel tbf? and i have an irl friend who’s into hockey but i think there’s a strong chance they’re more normal about it than i am

3. The jersey you would most like to own

oooof tough question. either a stars jersey or a devils jersey i think. i’m hesitant to get one that’s a specific player’s bc i don’t want to have one for a team that they get traded from (looks pointedly at my several month-old un-customized kraken jersey) the ever changing world of sportssss

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

i am not choosing. you cannot make me. (it changes too often)

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

rn my answer is cyork/tfoerster but a week ago my answer was probably 2339 and two weeks ago my answer was probably 1053 and before that it was probably 2072 and before that it was probably scasey/gbrindley and before that it was probably nmoyle/nblankenburg and before that… (i’m stopping now but i could go on)

6. Your favorite on ice moment

oh gosh… i don’t really think i have a particular answer! i’m a cellies girlie who enjoys when the little men hit each other so. if any of my blorbos have ever done any of that sort of thing that can be my favorite (yes this a very general answer no i don’t care) actually maybe slaf’s first goal celly that wasn’t a celly so much as it was him cursing at zach brown ((?)i think that was who it was)

~link someone else’s art/fic/etc that you love and think everyone should check out~

i have yet to figure out how to link things so instead i will give you names and authors and you will take them. okay? okay.

still burnt from kissing your face by teethtilt (1053 fic with THE most delectable descriptions… i have never been more engaged by snow cones and swelteringly warm days)

tumblr user @/starscelly’s band au. (special shout-out to his one piece where wyatt is sat at a merch stand with the best body language you’ve ever seen)

on the banks of kettle creek by honeydripping (tknp fic that is soooo yummy. the way the author describes smells? ooof you don’t even know)

two thousand miles away, but i can see you by lovethygoalie (kraken magic fic that is very fun. gobbling up the way the author writes dynamics)

after hours by kerfluffle (cam/tyson fic that is very yay. if there is next to nothing in their tag at least we have the works of kerfluffle who is fantastic)

cool summers by counthestars (rule63 umich fic that has my heart. it literally feels like summer in my brain and i’m obsessed)

any xhekuraj fic by novembrs (loveee their trans arber fics never not thinking about them)

this was probably too many and i could go on! but it’s my response to an ask game and i do what i want

~link something you made and are proud of/want people to see~

again drk how to link things but my art tag is ‘me and my knack of making people look ~almost~ right’ or something like that and i also like my dream tag (vcug’s hockey dreams) just bc it’s fun. not really proud of it i just enjoy how my subconscious produces absolute bullshit

tagging @spiceberrie but no pressure if you don’t want to do this!

[solojihyo]

ult group question game <33

i was tagged by @aceofvernons!! ty for the tag xan beloved <33 i’m going to do twice and svt for this (because if you couldn’t already tell from the url, they both are my ults of ults SHSJSKK). the responses will be under the cut <33

i'm going to tag @boosoonseok @lenteur @yoohyeontual @minghao-s @skzandnct @pink-vacancy @kyubinz @minchanz and anyone else who would like to hop in!!

1) who was your first bias?

my first twice bias was chaeyoung!! this is because the first twice mv i ever watched was fancy, and she captured my attention (i thought she was soooo pretty). for seventeen, my first bias was woozi. this was mostly because i basically knew none of the other members and he always stood out to me. he was so cute and i heard that he produced most of svt’s music so i grew found of him LOL.

2) who is your bias now?

jihyo for twice - it’s been over 2 years since i started biasing her and i feel like i grow more and more fond of her with all the time that passes. her charisma on stage and personality are so beloved to me <33 for svt, it’s hoshi!! his shenanigans are what drew me in shsjshsjsjk and now i’m fond of all of them lol. and i so appreciate how hard he works and i’m so proud of him <33 i love both of my biases sm

3) what was the first mv you watched for them?

for twice, it was fancy!! i actually don’t remember what my first svt mv was. i’m pretty sure it was rock with you? i’m not sure if i remember watching anything older than that

4) what’s your favorite mv?

feel special for twice, hands down. i’m in love with the concept, the styling, the storyline, the execution, everything about it. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve rewatched it sgsjshsjdk it is so beloved to me. svt is harder,,, i’m going to say home atm bc it is so comforting to me but tbh the answer to this changes daily

5) if you could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

feel special for twice and home for svt <33 they’re both very comforting and make me feel better lol

6) who would you want to see them collab with?

WITH EACH OTHER!!! the logistics of that would be extremely hard considering there are 22 of them combined BUT here me out: they make a mini album and separate them by age liners. so 95 liners get one song, 96 liners do another song, etc, like svt did for semicolon. i have thought so much about this you have no idea shsjshsjsjk like can you imagine the power the 97 liners of svt and twice combined would have????? dk and jihyo together???? it would be so insane. this me being a delusional fan BUT IT WOULD BE SO COOL OKAY

7) what mv concept do you want to see them do?

i want twice to try an mv with a concept like cry for me!! we haven’t seen them do enough of that tbh and we need it to happen. for svt…. i want another mv like home that’s more minimalistic but also super comforting. i think that would be neat.

8) have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

i have many times i’m sure but i don’t remember any of them lmao. the only one i can think of rn is me having a dream where i made fun of mingyu for going to the airport without a jacket that one time and losing his airpods LOL

9) if you could spend a day with any member, who would it be and what would you do?

nayeon for twice!! i think she’d be super fun to hang out with - we’d probably go places like the beach, get some ice cream, and just vibe <33 for svt, i’m gonna say seungkwan!! i think he’d also be very fun to hang out with. maybe we’d go see a movie and then go out for dinner. but honestly given the chance i’d be willing to hang out with any of them lol

10) which member do you think you'd get along best with?

tzuyu for twice because she's quiet like me and we could just chill shdjhdjsk. and vernon for svt for the same reason (+ he loves cats and wants a cat just like me)

11) which member do you think you would argue with?

uh...... i have no idea tbh LOL i'm not very argumentative so shdjshdjk moving on

12) if you had to choose one member to scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

this is a terrifying question. that being said. maybe jeongyeon because she could have a good laugh about it with me, and jeonghan for the same reason SHJDHSJDK

[infinite-orangepeel]

15 questions, 15 people

tagged by @hey-rowan, @asbealthgn, @spectrum-spectre (thanks for tagging me, my friends💗)

1. Are you named after anyone?

technically yes ! my parents loved marisa tomei in my cousin vinny. they just decided to add an extra ‘s’ to my name and named me ‘marissa.’

2. When was the last time you cried?

a few days ago. reading the line about steve waiting by the ferris wheel 🎡 from @azrielgreen’s fic, blackout days (fairground nights). i balled my eyes out and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

3. Do you have kids?

not yet, but maybe one day. i currently work with two toddlers and often feel like they’re my own bc of how much time i spend with them lol.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

absolutely and i affectionately blame my mother for it <3 she’s the most sarcastic person i know.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

probably piercings or tattoos ! i have 9 piercings myself but no tattoos yet (thought i’m planning some rn). so i feel like i’m always checking out other peoples for ideas and i love hearing the stories behind peoples tattoos.

6. What's your eye color?

chocolate button brown (iykyk)

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

if it’s a fic, im choosing dark, fucked up, unhinged, angsty WITH a happy ending (happy ending is a must for me). if it’s a movie, i can go either way but horror is one of my top genres for sure.

8. Any special talents?

being insanely gorgeous, intelligent, and hilarious at the same time (joking, joking, don’t take that seriously omg). real answer: i can fold my tongue into a three leaf clover and i have a strangely strong memory when it comes to remembering names, faces, and usernames lol.

9. Where were you born?

los angeles, california

10. What are your hobbies?

drooling over steve harrington, writing steddie fics and my own poetry, reading the queerest literature on the market, yearning for irl requited love, contemplating my career choices, selling vintage clothing, crying to the tune of other peoples steddie fics, thrifting, cooking with an excessive amount of hot chili oil, wandering around trader joe’s, yoga, and hiking :)

11. Do you have any pets?

yes ! two dogs (one has no teeth and the other is chaos incarnate) that i adore. and a 150 gallon aquarium with a zillion salt water fish (okay, like thirty and my fave is the cowfish, look it up its adorable).

12. What sports do you play/have played?

i’m an olympic medalist in crying over steddie like they’re real people…(i did gymnastics for 12 years, ran track for 5, and now, i stay active by going to my local gym and doing yoga/weight lifting)

13. How tall are you?

5’0” and everyone in my life reminds me of it constantly

14. Favorite subject in school?

english and history, always

15. Dream job?

joe keery’s professional girlfriend….or a writer that makes money !! a money making writer that creates and gets paid for it. yes. i’d give an arm and a leg to write for a cool mag, online zine, or to be a published author !

taglist (and as always, no pressure and sorry if you’ve already been tagged !): @madigoround, @auwuli, @edmunsn, @corneliuswatkins, @stevesbipanic, @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx, @bmodiwrites, @java-jay, @thorniest-rose, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @falloutkeiji, @sinclairisms, @veestrikesback, @djostface, @punkharringtxn

[cosmicwitchcourtney]

I pulled the Christmas Cross spread for myself with the Yule Oracle deck as a little present to me🎄 Don’t mind the shiddy pic I don’t have a good spot to take pics rn

1 Where are you right now? Poinsettia

Beauty in darkness, transformation, shadow work

True, I’ve been going hard on shadow work all year. I def want to keep at it, but it would be nice to change my pace in 2023 and move back outward with my energy. I also see this as strong self care/self love vibes. 

2 Winter Storm: What challenges are you facing? Mistletoe

Fertility, protection, spark of ideas

This made me laugh bc I’m supposed to be getting my period any minute basically, and it’s making me not feel my best. Kinda bummed about it. But overall yea having trouble organizing all of my business ideas for the new year!! As for protection— yes, I do still need to do some work on my boundaries.

3 North Star: What goal should you focus on? Chills

Wake-up call, awareness, warning

Listening to intuition and gut feelings. I have started shifting into relying less on books and resources and more on what’s happening in the moment. Feels good that I’m on the right track! Also, need to pay closer attention if there are any red flags around. Recently I ignored a red flag and ended up in a very uncomfortable situation with a client. Lesson learned! 

4 Traditions: What strength do you already have? Gratitude

Acknowledgement, appreciation

Finding the good in the negative. Also, this struck me as my reiki, because I always notice gratitude makes it so much stronger. 

5 Ghost of the Past: One thing from your past that is influencing your future. Squirrel Medicine

Planning, secrets, trust

Setting intentions. Another nice message of confirmation. And I agree, setting my intentions clearly helped me do so much more than I thought I could! Also the trust message— I do feel like I’m at a place now where I trust the people in my life and they trust me.

6 New Year: What can you look forward to? Feasting

Having enough, nourishment, providing

Took this very literally. Haha yup, we are going to be feasting. I’m so excited to have the yummy Christmas treats! Feels like a message as well about worrying less in the new year about resources.

7 Self-Care: The best way to proceed. Merriment

Happiness, following your Soul

Need to follow what brings me joy! I’m excited to do more painting and also to connect with more people. 

8 Wisdom: Advice to help you navigate your situation. Candle Magic

Intention, prayer, hope

The book says I am heading for peaceful times, that the cosmos and Spirit are answering my prayers. Beyond this though, I kept feeling drawn to light a candle to connect with my Spirits and lost loved ones. I will do this tonight. 

9 Light: What do you need most at this time? Light

Hope, return of light

Faith in better days to come. I think I’m doing well with this, so I’ll continue to keep it up! Also a sign to do more reiki healing on myself. And even beyond that— I totally do need return of light literally so I can get back out on my walks!! 

10: Long Term Outcome. Silent Night

Meditation, peace, stillness

Taking time to meditate and gain perspective. Nice confirmation that I’ll continue on this track, and that I’m doing the right things. Also nice that I’ll have peace.