#i have to ask myself what would nebula do but IDK YET

[clonewarsahsoka]

Now before I sleep the question is do I think about dao or my world?

[meridiansdominoes]

Showers of Starlight

Incoming blyla incoming blyla incoming blyla

This issssss the sequel to ‘Catch the Rain’ that was posted a few weeks ago! @thatfunkyopossum HAPPY BIRTHDAY UR MY FAVORITE <3

(this is like, 6k words?? Is that okay to post in this weird tumblr format?? It’s gonna be mad long... well idk,,, but here it is anyway on ao3 too in case you don’t want to destroy ur dash with a long post heh

ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/24758554

Aayla finds her Commander standing out on the little balcony, dressed in civilian clothes and staring out into the city. Night turns Coruscant into an endless sea of luminescence. Air lanes become lines of shooting stars pressing onward in the darkness. Skyscrapers around them glow with the light of thousands of residents inside, creating trails of brilliance that ascend up towards the black sky. 

By the time Aayla arrives at the complex that serves as the temporary housing for her officers while they’re on leave, the sun has disappeared from the sky, and she’s mentally exhausted. A full report to the Jedi Council takes effort and energy that she has to fight to produce, but she is required to give her debriefing before she can get some rest herself. She’s relieved that it’s over now, but there are still a few things to take care of. Her men need to be fully settled, otherwise Aayla won’t be able to sleep well tonight. She knows that Bly will take care of things, but she needs to verify their wellbeing for herself for her own peace of mind. Here on Coruscant they’re finally safe, and she has to remind herself of that somehow.   

Though visiting Bly to check on the men isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If anything the thought makes some of her exhaustion leave her as she steps into the lift that will take her up to her Commander’s quarters. The journey upwards is smooth and quick. When the doors open on the correct floor, Aayla steps out and immediately finds one of her officers in the hallway, clad only in his blacks.  

“General!” Captain Brine says in surprise, blue eyes widening. He snaps off a quick salute automatically. The effect is dampened slightly by the pillow he has tucked under his other arm. “What are you—oh. Looking for the Commander?”

Aayla nods. “Are you well, Captain?”

Brine shrugs.

“Well enough, sir. It’s a bit odd to not be on the ship, but the rooms are nice. Though the pillows leave a lot to be desired. I had to go find myself a new one.”

Aayla huffs out a tiny laugh. 

“I’ll take your word for it, Brine. Could you direct me to Bly’s room?”

“The last one on the left, sir,” Brine answers without hesitation. He meets her gaze carefully, something unreadable flashing across his face. “He’ll try to keep working instead of getting some rest like he should. Maybe you can help him where I can’t.”

Aayla blinks at her Captain, but before she can fully make sense of the words Brine is already retreating towards his own room. He closes his door behind him, leaving Aayla alone in the hallway. She sighs and makes her way to the end of the hall until she stands in front of the very last door on the left. 

It isn’t locked. The door slides open when she knocks lightly on the durasteel. She steps inside. The rooms that Brine had described as ‘nice’ are small and spartan in design. Nice is not the word Aayla would have used, but they’re a step up from the barracks to her men. There are three tiny spaces all hooked together—a small reception area, a tiny unused kitchen, and an even tinier bedroom. Aayla can see through the entire apartment.

Bly is nowhere in sight, although his armor is neatly stacked on the table in the little kitchen. Aayla hesitates for a moment, confused, until she notices the transperisteel door flung open against the far wall. Cream colored floor-length curtains hide the actual doorway from view. She makes her way through the apartment and pushes the curtains aside. 

Aayla finds her Commander standing out on the little balcony, dressed in civilian clothes and staring out into the city. Night turns Coruscant into an endless sea of luminescence. Air lanes become lines of shooting stars pressing onward in the darkness. Skyscrapers around them glow with the light of thousands of residents inside, creating trails of brilliance that ascend up towards the black sky. 

Coruscant is far too polluted for its inhabitants to see the stars that stretch above them through the smog. For some residents, the brilliant night is the closest they will ever get to seeing space around them. It is beautiful, in its own way. From the balcony of Bly’s window it seems as if he is poised on the edge of a glittering nebula, watching the colors swirl in hypnotic patterns and glitter quietly in the dark. 

Bly is framed by the ambient light of the city. Aayla allows herself to just watch him for a nanosecond. She can’t see his face, but the light plays off of his tan skin in such a flattering way that she can’t avert her gaze. There’s a datapad in one of his hands. She raps lightly on the wall to alert him to her presence. He turns a little too fast, free hand jerking down to his side for a weapon that isn’t there right now. Once he’s seen her, he stiffens a little bit into a loose attention. One eyebrow raises slowly.

“General?”

Aayla doesn’t respond immediately, mostly because her brain stalls as she finally takes full stock of what he’s wearing. 

He’s dressed in a loose white shirt with a low neckline that reveals his collarbone and the hint of a gold tattoo over his chest that disappears under the fabric. Her eyes pause on the smooth skin of his neck before she forces herself to drop her gaze—but that just makes things worse, because without the usual armor smoothing out the lines of his body she can see every muscle in his arms. His biceps are... impressive. She spends a moment just... drinking it in, because who knows if she’ll ever get to see this ever again. The tight black pants completing his outfit certainly don’t help her concentration.

Bly coughs suddenly. She glances back up to look him in the eyes. Now that she’s already thinking about such details, it’s hard to stop. The splashes of gold against the slant of his cheekbones is distinctly alluring. Aayla struggles to pull her thoughts out of the downward spiral and grimaces inwardly. She’s left him standing there for a heartbeat longer than necessary. She quirks one lek in a hasty greeting.

“At ease, Commander. I just wanted to ask you if the last of the reports have come in yet.” Aayla steps out onto the balcony to join him. She does, in fact, have the self-control necessary to keep her gaze from roving across his exposed skin this time, as tempting as it is. 

Bly’s body language loosens. He leans against the railing again and taps at his datapad, scrolling through a list of reports. She can see tiny pinpricks of light reflected from the city skyline in his eyes. Aayla settles herself against the railing next to him as well, content to wait as he runs through his mental checklists. 

She reaches out with the Force and grounds herself against his presence. It’s always bright and soothing and mellow to her in a way that she’s never felt before, not even among Jedi. She’s drawn to it. Today his mind is smooth, pulsing gently with peace and relief to finally be on leave. It’s rare that she gets to feel him in that state of mind. Bly is always concerned about something—about the men, about a campaign, about hyperspace routes, about shipping documents… about her. 

Perhaps he thinks he is subtle, but Aayla sees far more than he realizes. 

She notices when his gaze lingers on her, when he hesitates with his mouth hanging open as if he wants to speak before closing it and marching stiffly away. She notices when he bristles with anger and places himself between her and the foolish males that do not see the lightsaber in favor of inspecting her curves. She notices the fleeting smiles that cross his face when he thinks that she isn’t looking. 

She wonders if he’s ever noticed the similar expressions that cross her own face.

There has been an odd tension in the Force lately. It’s a steady buzz, just present enough to nag at her as if ordering her to pay attention to something. It doubles whenever she speaks with her commander. Aayla thinks that she understands why now. Perhaps. Tonight is as good a night as any to either confirm or dispute her theory… if she is brave enough. If she is wise about how she approaches the subject.

It’s a risk, but it’s one that she’s willing to take. Determination floods her veins. 

Bly sighs and looks up from the datapad with a nod of approval.

“I’ve got every report, sir. We’re good to go. I’ve even got the ship’s maintenance schedule here.” He grins wryly. “If only it were like this every time. The crew have sent all the records to me quicker than usual so that they can be off duty faster.”

Aayla chuckles.

“It would spare you a large amount of stress, at the very least,” she comments in amusement. Bly rolls his eyes.

“Force forbid,” he mutters. There’s something so easy about standing next to him, about the civilian clothing, about the casual conversation. Aayla feels a strange pang of jealousy. How easy would all of this be if they weren’t soldiers, if she were not a Jedi? She’s never doubted her purpose before, but Bly is the catalyst for many such thoughts.

Bly lifts his free hand to rub at his face. She glimpses a line of gold curling up his arm, disappearing into his sleeve. She reaches out to touch it without even thinking, brushing her fingers along the line and marvelling at how his something that should feel metallic and cold under her hand is warm and soft instead. She traces the tattoo higher, stopping just before she reaches the barrier of his sleeve. Part of her wants to follow it further. The thought abruptly makes her mouth go dry. 

“It suits you,” Aayla tells him honestly. He freezes up. For an instant, she feels muscles bunching under his skin. She pulls her hand away quickly, afraid that she’s crossed a line, and reaches out with the Force to check if she’s offended him in any way. Perhaps the tattoo is in memory of a lost brother, or a hard battle that he hadn’t wanted to remember right now—

When she brushes Bly’s mind she finds it full of static. His thoughts are racing almost too fast for her to make sense of them. After a moment he seizes them and wrestles them into submission. He swallows once and nods at her politely. 

“Thank you, sir,” he says. Calm, controlled. If she hadn’t glimpsed his thoughts she wouldn’t have known any better. But she does know, and the realization makes amusement and perhaps a hint of mischief course through her. If this is how he reacts to a simple compliment, she can’t imagine how he would be if she were to—

Force. Enough of that. 

“Have the men gotten settled?” she asks quietly, retreating away from his mind for the time being. He straightens at the question, shoulders drawing back.

“Yes, sir. They’re alright.” Then he winces. “They’re… excited. We haven’t gotten a good amount of leave in a while. I was thinking of drafting an apology letter to Fox tonight, just in case.”

Aayla laughs. 

“They deserve to have their fun,” she comments, leaning against the railing and staring out at the skyline in front of them. “We’ve had a busy few months.”

Bly drags in a deep breath and exhales slowly. 

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly. “They were getting tired. This will be good for them.”

“And for us,” Aayla adds. He hesitates, unsure of how to respond. She takes the opportunity to lean over him and pluck the datapad from his hand. A protest rises on his lips, but she shoots him a look, and he bites his tongue. “You deserve rest just as much as the rest of your men do, Commander.”

He nods in reluctant agreement, resting one elbow against the railing and slumping a little. He isn’t completely relaxed, but it’s more than he had been a few moments ago. Improvement.  

Silence settles over them. It isn’t uncomfortable—on the contrary, it’s peaceful. A light breeze stirs through the air. Aayla glances up at her Commander, squaring her shoulders a bit. There is an opportunity here, a chance to act. She takes it.

“What would you like to do after the war, Bly?”

He blinks at her, taken aback. To be fair, she’s never asked him something like this before. During the heat and smoke and fire of a campaign she’d never felt as if it were an appropriate question to solicit. She watches him consider it. He glances down, picking at the loose white shirt as if suddenly unsure of himself. 

“I’m not sure, sir,” he answers slowly. “I was created to be a soldier. I can’t really imagine myself doing anything else with my life. What… what would you like to do?”

Aayla hums. 

“I suppose I will continue to be a Jedi. Though it will undoubtedly be strange. We’ve taken the roles of Generals so easily. Many will struggle to leave it behind.”

His expression flickers as something unreadable passes across his face. 

“Will you?”

She falters.

Aayla will struggle. She already knows that, as surely as she knows that the sun will rise in the morning. Perhaps a few years ago that would have concerned her, but today she accepts it and wonders, not for the first time, if she even will want to leave it behind. Not for the power, not for the thrill of command, but for the men. For Bly.  

The Council would be appalled to hear that. Quinlan Vos would be thrilled. 

“I will not leave my men behind, even if the title of General is removed from me,” she tells Bly firmly. It’s so easy to be honest with him. It’s part of the reason why they work so well together. She sees something in Bly ease a little at her words. 

“That’s good, sir,” he says. Without warning he tenses again, taking a shallow breath. “I don’t necessarily know what I want to do after the war, but I do know that it wouldn’t be worth my time if you weren’t there as well.”

Her heart stutters in her chest. He turns his face back to the skyline, as if immediately berating himself for the comment. Aayla resists the urge to reach out with the Force and find the true meaning of those words, to understand everything left unspoken there. 

“In that case, I would welcome your company,” she responds quietly. Bly shifts his weight just a little. Some of the strain eases from his shoulders at her acceptance. His words hadn’t been an offer, not exactly, but it had been a bold statement—especially for Bly, who understands his priorities and selflessly resists the feelings that he so clearly wants to act upon. Aayla senses conflict in him, a constant battle between remaining stoic and throwing all caution to the wind. 

It would be a lie to say that she did not feel the same thing. 

There is a chain of command. There is a Jedi Code. There are rules, both dictated and not, that must be followed. In all her life she has never found herself wishing that it were not so until now.

Bly pulls away from the railing of the balcony, taking a step back. His tattoos gleam like liquid gold across his arms as he moves into a different light.  

“I… I’ll get some rest then, General. You should too,” he suggests carefully. Too carefully. She is consistently impressed by his restraint. If it weren’t for his careful self-control she would have fallen a long time ago, but he balances her out perfectly in that as well as everything else. She doesn’t want him to leave yet. 

She catches his arm as he tries to turn away with her own hand. Both of them freeze. Aayla looks down at her hand and is suddenly fascinated by the way the blue of her skin contrasts with the warm brown of his. 

“Bly. Stay with me?”

She doesn’t have much right to ask that of him. It’s his room, after all. But Aayla doesn’t imagine the little tremor that runs through his body as he pulls his arm away. She lifts her head to meet his gaze and is stunned by the storm of conflict in his eyes.

“General… I don’t think…”

“Stay,” Aayla repeats softly. She ever-so-gently brushes at the edge of his mind again to make sure she isn’t pressuring him. She won’t force him into something he genuinely doesn’t want to do. 

Bly’s mind is always so welcoming to her. She doesn’t even think that he’s aware of how readily it opens to her, of how easily it shares its secrets with her. For that reason she chooses to keep her distance for the most part, because she refuses to take advantage of him in that way. If she must reach for his thoughts, she keeps the connection as shallow as possible.

On occasions she’s seen his mind flare brilliantly when she’s nearby until he stuffs the light away under a grey shield of professionalism. She catches glimpses of it when he’s not being careful—when they’ve won a campaign and the men are celebrating in a fever, adrenaline and relief and the thrill of success spinning through the air. When she tells him that her recklessness had indeed been part of the plan and he only responds with an eye-roll and a fond chuckle. When he changes an entire battle strategy because she makes a single offhand comment about how she’s worried about destroying a beautiful forest. 

Never once has she felt his mind grow heavy and dark with the sick lust that so many other men succumb to when she approaches. When desire does escape from the deeper recesses of Bly’s mind it is only visible for an instant as a bright flash of heat before he shuts it down without mercy. His respect for her is tangible even without a glance at his thoughts. 

Right now, his mind is hesitant. She can sense that he wants to stay, but he is afraid as well. He’s worried for what he might do if he does remain, for what she might think, for what the men might say. 

If only he could see into her mind. Aayla thinks a bit wryly that he wouldn’t be as afraid if he could feel her own thoughts on the matter.

“I would like it if you stayed,” she reiterates, just so that he understands that this isn’t an order, isn’t something that he’s required to accept. “Though you are welcome to get some rest if you wish.”

It’s a dangerous game that they’re playing. The attraction, the want, is mutual, otherwise it wouldn’t be as potent as it is. Aayla is tired of ignoring the bantha in the room. War takes and razes and tears down everything in its path. For once she wants to take something for herself.

Bly clenches his jaw and nods once.

“I’ll stay,” he acquiesces quietly. In the distance, faint police sirens become audible. Aayla can’t help a tiny smirk at the way Bly’s expression turns pained. 

“There are millions of life-forms living nearby, Bly, I’m sure the men are fine. They probably don’t have anything to do with it,” she teases. He rolls his eyes. 

“If I don’t get some sort of complaint in the morning I’ll be extremely surprised,” he grumbles. The grumpy amusement on his face is so utterly endearing that she steps forward without even thinking about it. 

“Bly…”

His name comes out of her mouth with more warmth than she’d intended. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Aayla.” 

She shivers. Her name rolls off of his tongue in the most delightful way. She draws a little closer to him, just enough to be intruding in his personal space. When he finally opens his eyes to look at her again she can see his defenses crashing down, crumbling as she reaches out to trace her fingers along the gold across his cheek. 

He swallows hard as if bracing himself and reaches out a hand. His fingers brush against one of her lekku tentatively. She makes a soft noise of encouragement, and his touch grows a little more firm, sliding up to rest just at the junction of her skull. Aayla sighs. She leans forward and rests her forehead against his. 

That makes him pause. His eyes go wide, as if he’s only just realizing what he’s doing. He jerks away from her so fast that she briefly loses her balance. The absence of his touch, as fleeting as it had been, makes her chest ache.

“Aayla, I—General. General, Force, this isn’t—I can’t. You have your—the Code, and the regs—”

Aayla exhales. 

“And what if I wanted to choose, just for a moment, that they did not exist, Commander?” she asks him. “The time for hesitation is over. I will not sit in silence and wait until the war takes even you from me.”

Bly’s expression contorts. The edges of his Force presence go jagged. 

“It isn’t that simple,” he forces out. “We could pretend all we want, but that wouldn’t change the rules.”

“Some would say that the rules are outdated,” Aayla counters. She feels a sharp flash of frustration. It’s tempting to let it stew and grow, but she does her best to let it go. 

“That doesn’t matter, sir. We couldn’t ever… if anyone ever noticed, you would be stripped of both your rank and your title as a Jedi Master. I won’t be responsible for that.”

She mulls over his determined words with a sad fondness. He would give up everything he ever wanted just to keep her safe.

“Fortunately, you are not responsible for that,” she replies smoothly. “I am quite capable of making my own decisions. If I were to be expelled from the Jedi Order it would be because I chose that path.”

He stares her down, horrified. Then he narrows his eyes and sets his jaw.

“I would rather have you with me—with us, with the battalion—as a General and nothing more, than not have you at all.”

Aayla’s frustration comes back, stronger this time. She frowns at him.

“As I told you before, I will not leave my men behind, even if the title of General is removed from me. Nor will I leave my men behind if the title of Jedi is stripped from me. This is a risk that I am willing to take.” 

Bly grimaces and tips his head back, sighing at the sky.

“Sir, regardless, I’m not—I’m not worth that risk. I’m a clone. This isn’t just inappropriate, it’s unfair to you, and I can’t—”

“That is not what I believe,” Aayla interrupts sharply. She feels just a jolt of anger, of outrage that he’s been conditioned to think like that. The emotion is difficult to banish. “You are worth far more to me than you could ever realize.”

He twitches and looks away fast. The rise and fall of his chest comes quicker now. His mind undulates with uncertainty and fear. The uncertainty is understandable, but the fear—that, she doesn’t understand. She steps close to him again and watches him tense, glancing at her as if worried of what she’ll do. 

“What are you afraid of?” she asks in genuine surprise. She is just as new to this as he is, after all, and she wants answers. Bly lets out a stuttering breath. 

“I don’t know,” he rasps. The words ring with honesty. An idea flits on the edge of Aayla’s mind. She reaches up to touch his temple. Despite everything, he leans into the touch.

“Let me see,” she requests. For a long moment, he doesn’t say anything, just stares into her eyes. Ever so slowly, he dips his head in a small nod. Aayla closes her eyes.

When she reaches for his mind, his thoughts all but pull her inside. In an instant she’s deeper into his psyche than she’d originally meant to go. All of his emotions roll over her like a wave. She tries to pull away from them, but it’s too late, and she gets thrown into a whirlwind of sensation—

It’s overwhelming. The first thing to hit her is a tide of devotion so fierce that it feels like a firestorm against her own mind. A distinct longing is next, waxing and waning in strength as he struggles to keep it in check. Then there is a devastating clash of loyalty and restraint and desire and helplessness that makes her head spin. 

In the center of it all, she sees herself. 

It isn’t what she expects at all; isn’t even close to how she imagines herself in her own mind. She stands against an infinite stretch of darkness, lighting the way with her lightsaber outstretched as a brilliant blue beacon. She can sense Bly’s instinctual inclination to follow regardless of where she will lead—even if it means death, even if it means something worse. Through Bly’s eyes she is glorious and powerful and ethereal. Except then there is a sharp contrast, because she fights with all the vigor of a warrior but then she turns to look at him and everything goes soft and suddenly he is overcome by admiration and fondness and a hesitant, tentative love—

Aayla reels back. She struggles to stay above the sea of affection and desire and passion that follows after her doggedly, as if it can’t continue to exist without showing her everything now that she’s stumbled across it. She is jolted to reality. Both of her hands are curled tenderly around Bly’s skull. His eyes are squeezed shut. 

She trails her gaze over his face. Aayla is flustered and panting. She had known that he feels something for her, but she’d never realized to what extent. His self-control is even more impressive now that she’s caught a glimpse of what he truly thinks. 

“Bly—you—?”

He blinks his eyes open and immediately lowers them in shame. 

That won’t do at all. Determination swells in her heart along with a strange sensation of desperation, because she’d known, but she’d never truly understood. He’d kept the full extent of his feelings carefully locked away, and when parts of it had escaped they had only implied a mere fraction of what was really going on inside his head. 

She wants—needs—him to understand that it goes both ways.

When she enters his mind again, she lets Bly’s emotions wash around her instead of hitting her full force. She sinks deep, catching glimpses of memories and snippets of sound—

A battlefield shouldn’t be alluring, but with fire swirling around her and sparks drifting past them, she’s more glorious than anything else he could ever imagine.

He wishes that he could express the sensation that he feels whenever she looks at him like that, how his heart seems to swell three sizes and continue expanding until it’s all but bursting out of his chest. 

Blue. Blue. Blue. He can’t get the color out of his head, can’t stop his eyes from trailing over her skin and noting all of her visible scars, can’t focus right even though he knows that he needs to concentrate.

She makes a bad call. Not even the best Generals are without fault. Brothers die. For all that he admires her she is still flawed, but somehow that doesn’t detract from how badly he wants her, from how much he cares. She is imperfect and scarred but he loves her all the more for it, for how she fights to become better with every breath she takes.

It’s raining. She looks happy. She looks at peace. Her eyes are bright. She’s beautiful. He wants to reach out and touch her. He aches because he can’t. 

Nothing will ever come out of his feelings but he will content himself with the fleeting sensations of joy he finds when she presses her spine to his in the middle of a battle and fights with absolute certainty that he’ll be there to guard her back. 

Jedi aren’t immortal and that has never been more obvious now. She is sick and miserable and tired. He convinces her to leave the bridge under his command for the day and go get some rest. When he drops by her room to update her on the Separatist’s movements she is sprawled out on her bunk, mouth hanging open and drooling. It is possible the most unflattering view of her that he’s ever seen. He hardly cares. He sits next to her anyway, a grin springing to his lips as she stirs and blinks up at him, surprised at his presence. There’s nowhere else that he’d rather be. 

He hadn’t been created to love. Sometimes he wishes that he had been.

There. Hidden in that thought Aayla finds hints of darkness. She catches a hold of the trail of insecurity she had originally intended to follow and chases after it. 

Chain of command aside, Jedi code aside, anything he feels for her is foolish. Bly is not unique, not special despite his rank. Even if there were no restrictions he has millions of brothers who all look the same, so why would she pay any attention to him at all?

He is Kaminoan property. There is no place for love in his purpose. He barely even understands the concept even though he knows the word. He couldn’t possibly offer her what she wants, isn’t worthy to even try. He’s just a clone, nothing more.

It hurts her to feel how deeply those thoughts are woven into his mind. She tugs at them carefully and feels him lurch. Somewhere in the real world she feels hands clutching at her shoulders, but she can’t focus on that right now.    

She won’t be able to replace the thoughts, can’t destroy them as much as she would like to. Instead she presses her own thoughts over his, carefully so that he can sense every detail.

Gold is enthralling to her now. Her eyes get stuck on it automatically. She can only think of armor and tattoos and eyes and tan skin—and a steady presence beside her that she wouldn’t trade for the galaxy. 

They are alone and desperate and fighting. Aayla pushes herself to move faster, to fight harder, to continue even though her limbs are shaking because she won’t let him die, not today. It would hurt more than anything to replace a battalion but it would tear her into pieces and leave her incapacitated to lose Bly.

It’s raining. She coaxes him to step into the open and tilt his head upwards. His Force presence goes still and calm as he stares up into the clouds above them. Raindrops settle in his hair like tiny glass orbs and scatter across the tattoos on his cheeks. She wants to reach out, she wants, she wants. She senses that he does too, but then he pulls away and she marvels at his control even though her chest contracts in disappointment. 

He stands against a hailfire of blaster bolts, unshaken, grounding her along with the rest of his brothers, pistols blazing. She draws strength from his courage and pushes forward. She trusts him with her life. She knows with unshakable certainty that Bly will have her back.

It’s late. The hangar is empty except for them, seated on top of a LAAT with the hangar bay doors thrown wide open to show wide-open space above them. When she turns her head over to look at Bly she sees a wide-eyed awe on his face. He marvels at how different the stars look from here than on Kamino. His joy is tangible. Aayla only has eyes for him. She feels warm and happy and light in a way that she’s never felt before. 

He smiles at her fondly and she feels faint suddenly, as if the single breathtaking, handsome, devoted expression is enough to stop her heart.

Love is dangerous because she is a Jedi. But she looks at him and decides that she doesn’t care.

Aayla lets him feel and see and understand every inch of her yearning, every ounce of her awe. His entire mind quakes under her touch. She feels the knot of darkness shiver and unravel a bit. She can’t get rid of it just yet. That will take time. She dares to hope that she’ll get the chance to try soon. 

She comes back to herself. Bly’s hands are trembling on her shoulders. When she makes a soft noise of concern he wrenches them off of her and presses his fists against his sides. 

“Aayla,” he groans, and he sounds absolutely wrecked. Like he’s seconds from falling apart. His eyes are bright and wide. They’re practically glowing in the dim lighting.    

“I want you,” she tells him firmly, forcing every bit of blunt honesty into her voice as she can. She brushes her thumbs across his cheekbones and then lets her hands drop. “This is worth the risk to me, Bly. But it is up to you.”

She puts the choice in his hands and half expects him to turn away, to mull over everything he’s felt, to hesitate again. 

He does not. 

Instead, he makes a strangled sound, leans in, and presses his lips to hers.

It’s the last thing she’s expecting. She nearly stumbles as a result. His panic spikes into the Force until she grabs his shoulders and kisses him back. 

The Force surges in a flare of heat and electricity around them. Bly exhales shakily against her. The brush of their lips is light and tentative. Aayla gathers herself, curling her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and deepening the kiss. Their mouths slant together. One of Bly’s hands finds her lekku again and strokes it gently. Her knees go weak underneath her at the pleasant sensation, at the feel of his mouth against hers. 

When they break apart, Bly is gasping like he’s dying and can hardly believe his own audacity. Aayla feels heat crawling up her neck. She can’t stop panting either, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. 

She’d hoped to get this far, to help him see that he’s worth it, that this is a risk that she’s willing to take, but she hadn’t expected any of that. This is unfamiliar to both of them.

 “I—I didn’t—I—” Bly stammers out, and Aayla just blinks at him, because she isn’t doing much better. 

Neither of them say anything for a long moment. Aayla can’t tear her gaze away from his face. He’s still so afraid, but she can see his mind weighing all of the options, struggling to make a final decision. 

The pinprick of cold on her forearm makes her jerk. It’s followed by another on her lek, and then another on her forehead. 

It’s raining. 

Bly sucks in a sharp breath. 

It rains once in a blue moon on Coruscant. It isn’t unheard of, but it isn’t common either. Aayla remembers a memory from a forest planet months ago, etched into both of their minds with striking clarity and sentiment. Slowly, Bly tilts his head back until he’s looking up into the sky. 

She had shown him that. It sends a thrill down her spine to watch him remember, to feel his Force presence go from raging indecision to solidifying into careful determination.  

The raindrops are growing bigger. She can hear them clattering against the balcony around her. A droplet splatters against her nose. She reaches out to brush the water away and goes still when Bly reaches for her hand, threading their fingers together as if he’s afraid that she’s going to change her mind.

“It’s worth the risk,” he whispers, like a prayer. She smiles at him. After a heartbeat, he returns it. “I want... I want you too.”

His words make Aayla feel giddy, like she’s soaring, light as a feather and free as the wind. The rain comes down around them. It would only take a few steps to enter the room and dry off but neither of them move.

She wants to kiss him again. The relief and elation she feels as she realizes that she actually can now is heady. His lips are still parted ever so slightly. When she leans in again, he meets her halfway. 

It doesn’t matter that they’re going to get drenched. It doesn’t matter that there’s a chain of command or a Jedi code. It doesn’t matter that there’s a war going on and sometimes it’s safer to not get attached. 

She focuses on Bly and finds peace in the rhythm of the rain. It’s worth the risk.

[malereader-inserts]

Emotional Baggage

Fandom: Avengers Pairing: Avengers x Male!Reader Summary: Trying the make good of a bad situation Word Count: 1,795 A/n: Hi, I’m going to die at Endgame because I refuse to allow any of my babies to die. Tony, Steve, Thor, Bruce should all survive and have a happy ending AND Loki to return thanks. Also, I haven’t seen Captain Marvel yet so idk how Carol acts like

Bruce rubbed his eyes, sleep clouding his eyes as he lets out another yawn. He had been working with Tony making new suits for the team, whilst everyone has been having their nightmares or sleepless nights - everyone forgets to embrace what is left.

Sure, the Avengers are in ruins, perhaps beyond repair.

At the end of the day, everyone will pick their sides, some will die and some will retire.

It’s impending doom that no one wants to face.

Still, he was sure he is the last awake. Tony had retired to bed, sleeping as best as he could with Pepper next to him and the knowledge that Rhodey is alive too. Steve had been a silent sufferer, he always the first to retreat to bed. Thor is ashamed of himself, he’s learning to embrace it and he has been good at it yet, everyone has to break.

Natasha and Clint have decided to share a room, they’re best friends and that’s how the best cope. They’ve known each other so well that it was wrong for them not to comfort each other. Scott was a different story, he’s a loner, that was his life, he seemed to be coping things so much better but Bruce could see him breaking.

Now, Bruce only knew Rocket and Nebula for a short time, he could tell that they don’t like each other but they’ve pushed it past them. Bruce was lost, always in the in-between. 

Then, there’s you. Emotionally strongest Avengers, perhaps the only person that is motivating them to push through their grief. No, you weren’t the ball of sunshine you used to be, but you were past all the seven stages of grief. 

Most nights, the Avengers would be taking turns to sleep in your bed, your presence calmed them. As Bruce goes upstairs, he finds you in the kitchen.

“Hey,” Bruce murmured as you shot your head up.

“Hey,” You murmured back, “You scared me.”

Under the gentle glow of the moonlight, he could see your soft smile. There were bags under your eyes, almost as if you hadn’t been sleeping. It was an occurrence when someone had a nightmare, they instantly go to your bed, your bed was always the warmest, you offer the best cuddles, it’s almost like your hidden power was to banish any nightmares.

And yet, you knew what you were doing.

“Sorry,” Bruce apologised, a tight smile he offers before nodding his head to the hallway, where most of the rooms were occupied by Avengers, “I’m off to bed, you should too.”

“Yeah, but give me a minute, don’t worry about me.”

And Bruce went away, your lips thinned before taking a gulp of water and returning to your bed. Each night it would be someone different in your bed, not that you minded - you forget your own trauma when someone is there.

What the Avengers hadn’t known about you, that you had more than one power. Whilst your other power was much more useful for battle, your other one was much more personal. This second power revolves around dreams, you were able to enter dreams and shift the whole dream sequence, you can make nightmares, take away people’s nightmares.

The latter took a toll on you, whilst they might be terrifying to you, most of the time you couldn’t bear the emotional baggage people carry over their shoulder. It was a lot of trauma to experience and when you’re taking them away from someone each night, you often lie awake in bed wondering when you’re going to lose your mind.

Tony often repeats his nightmare, losing Peter - he thinks it’s his fault. Sometimes Pepper has nightmares too, watching Tony disappear off to space without another word and he doesn’t return. Rhodey isn’t a man of emotions that much, taught in the military as such, but he fears a lot, losing his best friend. Sometimes he repeats the dream of when he was shot down.

Steve replays memories, they start off happy with Bucky before they turn sour, ending the same. Bucky becoming dust. Thor was a heavy load, each night was different. Losing his family, his best friend, his people, he had no one left of his kind, you lie awake wondering how Thor could be coping in this?

Bruce was a tough one, whilst he has somewhat accepted the Hulk. The Hulk is often afraid of the battle with Thanos back on the ship, Bruce and his mind control with Wanda - to you it seems like wonderless thoughts. Natasha and Clint’s dreams often merge, losing each other was a big factor - it seemed like they couldn’t trust themselves but trust each other.

Whilst you were physically drained and mentally exhausted, you wonder why you took away this burden of theirs? Were you sick of them screaming into the dark abyss? Were you tired of them refusing the move on?

Whatever it is, it’s got you awake of all hours of the night.

“(Y/n) is acting differently.”

Tony looked over with Steve, Tony shrugs his shoulders as Steve sighs. They were lost, much like everyone else. They don’t know how to comfort each other, you seem the best of it.

Carol looked over to you, whilst most of them were able to introduce them to her, you were close off. She was intrigued by you, you rattle out suggestions in making them win for battle and when night falls. You would be curled up asleep with whoever decided to raid your bedroom.

So, when night comes, leaving Tony and Bruce working frantically at the new suits, Carol found you reading in the kitchen as you nurse a steaming hot tea. Looking up, you give her a smile.

“Tea?” 

“No thanks,” Carol responded, narrowing her eyes towards you, essentially querying what missing pieces are necessitated to fit with your jigsaw, “What’s up?”

“Hmh?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow and your mug, your lip against the porcelain before scalding your throat, “Nothing, just drinking tea, always makes me feel sleepy.”

“There’s more to you, (Y/n),” Carol spoke prolix, slowly for you to process. She watches you tilt your head, her lips curve upwards as you mimic a confused little boy, “There is something bothering you.”

“I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

“But, there is something on your mind.”

You clenched your jaw before settling down your tea and shutting your book abruptly. Carol doesn’t flinch as she remains eye contact, almost to establish her grounds. You give up, your shoulders deflate as you lean against the counter.

“You know how some of the team would invade my room?” You questioned, giving into her very motherly stare, it frightened you a bit.

“The original band of Avengers, I am correct? I’ve been told you’ve been together for seven years.”

“Hmh,” You nodded, almost distracted, “They come to sleep by my side after a nightmare.”

Carol wondered where this was heading, but how you fiddled with the hems of your sweater, she had a vague idea.

“A dream walker?” She sought.

“You could say,” You shrugged, defeated and somewhat humiliated, “I’ve been taking away their nightmares when they come to sleep by my side, I’ve been experienced things-”

“That’s a lot of grief.”

“And an invasion of privacy, I should have asked but I couldn’t see them suffer anymore.”

“So, you sacrifice your own sanity to give them a chance to move on?” Carol solicited, crossing her arms, “Brave and stupid.”

You derided, “That’s what I’ve been told.”

“By who?”

“By myself.”

Carol looked at you with pity, as much as she thought you were an idiot, she had understood why you did it. You were tired of going in circles and doing no progress since everyone was stuck on memories and a lot of what if’s?

“Go to bed kid, I’ll sort it out.”

You were about to protest, but Carol’s glare made you shut your mouth. You gesticulated your agreement before wondering back into bed. Leaving Carol and your half dram tea in the kitchen.

It had been awfully quiet, exceedingly quiet for your liking and recently you’ve been able to sleep since no one had been barging through your door and diving into your bed next to you. 

That was until one night, you were awoken by bright lights, someone flickering your light switch on. Groaning you sat up to see Thor smile at you before you knitted your eyebrows together.

“What’s going on?”

“Shush now,” Thor’s voice rumbled as he lifted you up in his arms.

“I can walk,” You muttered, but leaned closer to his warmth, feeling how his chest rumbled through his chuckling.

“I know, but you’re tired and I couldn’t allow you to run into walls.”

Coming up to the living room, you hadn’t noticed on the way to the living room, the bedroom had been open and was empty of your fellow team members. You half opened your eyes to see the team all snuggled up with blankets and pillows, all on the sofa which was pushed together to make a very large bed. All wide awake as they waited for you.

“What’s happening?” You maffled, “Am I dreaming?”

Thor puts you on the sofa, you on your knees, your hair spewed out in every direction perplexed. Natasha softly grins at your tired grin, ruffling your hair as you almost fall flat to your face.

Clint tugs you closer to the middle of the sofa, with your own blanket and pillow waiting for you. For once, you felt excitement for sleep, you hadn’t felt this way for a while.

“Carol said something that came to our attention,” Steve announced, you nodded, “Whilst you were busy comforting us, we forgot to do it back so consider this our sorry.”

“Also, don’t apologise for invading our privacy,” Tony rationalised, “You were trying to help, you weren’t harming us.”

“Yeah, kid, you did well,” Clint praised as you sleepily grin, “But, for tonight, no taking our dreams, just let us sleep with you.”

“Okay, I can do that. Can we talk later, I kinda just want to sleep,” you burbled, there was soft laughter around you as you crash yourself in the middle.

“Sweet dreams kid,” Carol chuckled.

She watched how each Avengers, old and new, got themselves comfortable and found themselves asleep within matters of minutes. All spewed out in every direction, some leaning on someone else’s limbs. And yet, everyone was so content in everyone’s presence, safe within the embrace of each other.

Especially you, you had a soft smile on your face.

She wouldn’t say it was happiness, but satisfied.

So, as she falls asleep, she finds herself satisfied too. 

The only way from here is up, right?

[doctorgerth]

10 + 10

Answer their 10 questions and then think of 10 questions to ask other friends! 

I was actually tagged twice by @basilisa-scorpii​ and @dumbass-no-mi so I got 20 questions to go through! Thanks for the tag, lovelies! 💕

Bas’s questions:

1. Fictional universe you’d like to move to for one day?

- I wanna say One Piece bc that really sounds like fun...but my luck I’d be placed in some village that’s being oppressed by a tyrant or some shit and I’d be miserable lmao. But maybe Luffy and co would come save us and I could befriend them?? Just being able to meet One Piece characters would be cool to me. Other than One Piece, maybe Naruto??? Ninjas are hella cool and the Leaf Village seems like a very comfy and homey place to live. Or having quirks in a My Hero Academia world... Idk I’m only thinking of animes rn for some reason lol this is a tough question!

2. Favorite book/comic book/manga/etc.?

- Oooh, book is tough because I actually don’t read as much as I’d like...The Twilight series will always hold a special place in my heart. Gone Girl is also really good! For manga, that’s easy - One Piece, simply because I’ve yet to read any other manga lol

3. Favorite astral object (for example: star/constellation/planet)?

- I think nebulae are really cool! Even the word is neat-sounding. They’re so pretty and the idea of a star nursery just sounds so ethereal! 🌌

4. What do you like to do for relax after a stressful day?

- Cuddle with my kitties and nap, for sure. Snack on some junk food lol peruse tumblr and other social media.

5. Your first fictional crush?

- I’m really embarrassed by this...but...Max Goof from the Goofy movies 🥴

6. Superpower you’d like to have?

- Oooh another tough question. Hmmm either teleportation (gah I’m so lazy lol) or something related to animals. Like being able to talk to them, mimicry, anything like that!

7. Foreign languages you speak/would like to speak?

- I was really interested in (and decent at) Spanish throughout high school and college. I kinda fell off for a lil while, but now Duolingo has held me against my will sucked me back in, so I’m back to learning it! I would also love to learn Japanese so maybe I won’t need subtitles for my anime watching and I’d love to visit Japan some day!

8. Dream travel?

- Italy for sure! Venice, Rome, Florence, so many beautiful places! And I luv me some Italian food 😋

9. Do you have any pets?

- I sure do! Two sweet kitties that I love gushing about.

10. Favorite aesthetic?

- Hmm, I love pastel colors and space-themed stuff!

Jinx’s questions:

1. What’s your favorite book/manga?

- Already answered! 

2. Who’s your favorite artist?

- Lana Del Rey! (don’t @ me) MARINA is a very close second.

3. Where would your dream home be located?

- I always go back and forth between wanting to live in a suburb type place, just so my future children could have other kids in the neighborhood to grow up and play with and I like the idea of neighbors and get togethers, but I also love the idea of living somewhere more distant. Pushed off from the busy streets and in the woods maybe? Either way, I’d also love to live close to the water! Whether that be a lake or beach or river. A house on the lake would be nice but...no teacher makes enough money for that 🤪

4. Do you have any or want any tattoos?

- I don’t have any and I would love to get one some day! I’m just so indecisive so it’ll probably never happen lmao. Not to mention a visible tattoo could potentially threaten my occupation. 🙃

5. What’s an achievement you’re really proud of?

- Graduating college and becoming a teacher! I’m the first college graduate in my family, so it’s really exciting. I hope I’ve set a good example for my younger siblings!

6. What’s a skill you think you excel at?

- This is tough because I’m very critical of myself and tend to think I’m not very good at anything lmao I’ll say organization? I’m pretty skilled at having things set up nice, neat, and easily accessible. Totally lame, but that’s all I got lol

7. What’s something good that’s happened to you this year?

- Got my first ever teaching job!!!!!

8. Future plans? Where do you see yourself in a few years?

- Living in a house with three kitties and a dog, married to my bf, teaching somewhere I love, maybe getting ready to have a baby? Lots of travelling before we start thinking about kids tho lol 

9. Do you have any nicknames?

- Yep, Coop is my primary nickname both on here and irl! People also call me: Miss Cooper (not being formal, genuine nickname lol) Coopdaddy, Mama Coop, Coops, etc.

10. What’s your current favorite song?

- I’ve been obsessed with Dua Lipa’s new album so almost any song on there lol. Levitating is such a jam.

Here are my questions!

1. What are your zodiac signs (sun, moon, rising, if you know them) and do you think they fit you pretty well?

2. What is your favorite clothing item and/or accessory?

3. Any future children or pet names?

4. If you could meet anyone (can be past, present, future, real, or fictional) who would it be?

5. Brag on yourself! What’s something you love about yourself?

6. What is a movie or show that you could rewatch a million times and never get tired of?

7. What is your favorite album of all time?

8. Do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens? If you have stories to back up, plz share.

9. What do you do/who do you look to for inspiration?

10. What is your happiest memory?

I’m not sure who all has been tagged, so I’m very sorry if you’ve been tagged twice: @thenotsofantasticlifestory @beatific-drabbles @monii-monii-no-mi @eireduchess @kotton-kandy-king @cykadaa @laws-yellow-submarine @laws-hat-headcanons @one-piece-dumpster-fire

[fierceawakening]

So I have just received some awful news I cannot share yet

So in the interest of distracting myself/improving my bad mood with cross fandom silliness:

Mtg color alignments for Thanos and the murder kids? Anyone have ideas?

Here’s mine, fwiw:

Thanos:

Black is obvious (”unchecked life is Bad, and the obvious solution to this is judicious application of death”)

White is obvious (”things must be in the proper order for the sake of the greater good, and Bad Terribles happen if they are not”)

The third color could possibly have been Green if he saw The Quest more as keeping life and death in the proper balance

But I’m (following MaRo and) going with Blue--it’s not just that life and death need to be balanced out, it’s “if you don’t stop life from just... growing all over everything you are being Terribly Irresponsible,” which is much more Blue. He knows the order he’s imposing is artificial, he just thinks that’s a vast improvement on the default.

Nebula: 

...yep, she’s Blue. I don’t know what other Luphomoids are like exactly, but this particular Murder Child is definitely the MCU version of a vedalken.

I was thinking “Blue and Black pre-redemption, Blue and White afterward,” which I still think makes some sense... but her motivations are very emotion-driven which is Red (”Thanos made me suffer horribly. I want to make other people suffer horribly. At first I’m somewhat random about this because I can’t imagine turning against Thanos, but once this shows up as a possibility, YEEHAW”) so maybe Blue/Red?

...ffff now that I’ve thought of that I want a crossover with her on Ravnica during the spark war going after Dovin Baan

Dovin: Well, yes, you see, this plan does require large amounts of Planeswalkers to lose their powers and die horribly, but...

Nebula: ...!

Anyone who has interacted with Nebula for over three seconds: Dovin no

Dovin: ...but proper order must be maintained.

Nebula: *CHARGING BULL MODE ENGAGED*

Chandra, fists and hair ablaze: Back off, Blue! That guy’s MY nemesis! 

Chandra:

Chandra: ...never mind.

Chandra: I like this one. Can we keep her?

(Chandra is Terribly Disappointed when Nebula calms down and acts like your average vedalken until something sets her off. FALSE. ADVERTISING.) 

Gamora: 

I’m... not sure? Though marching straight past a Giant Death Army with (proverbially) your hands on your hips to confront the giant leading it and tell him off seems pretty Red, so I’m gonna go with that.

Maybe a bit of Green in there too actually, given the lecture she gives Thanos on Vormir when she thinks he won’t be able to get the Soul Stone. “You asked the universe for something and the universe said no” seems pretty Green to me.

Also would make sense that she’s the two colors Thanos isn’t. Him being like “I am intensely intrigued by this confusing yet fascinating Angry Smol” makes a lot of sense.

Ebony Maw:

Pretty much your standard Devoted Dark Cleric, so White/Black all the way.

Maybe some Blue in there given his powers and the hint that he might do actual surgery with those needles.

(I made him the actual medic in my fic, so my version of him is probably this.)

(Makes sense that he and Thanos get along well if they have the same alignment, too.)

Cull Obsidian:

He doesn’t really have a personality so idk? Though the Wiki suggests that he’s unique among the Black Order in that he enjoys his work where the others are more acting out of duty, so... Black/Red, I guess.

Proxima Midnight:

I’m going with Black/Red here too, just because responding to an enemy saying “Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood” with “We have blood to spare” is the most Rakdos line I have ever heard in my life. EVERYONE DIES BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU

Corvus Glaive:

Another one who doesn’t really have a personality? But I’m gonna go with White/Black because he seems dutiful and honorable and to want to do things the right way, as shown by him ?!?!??!ing at ‘14 Thanos when he orders him to fire on his own guys but obeying anyway.

[calzonekestis]

My Endgame thoughts in 3,160 words and 17,025 characters. Under a cut. Spoilers, obviously.

Really. Truly. The whole thing.

Well. I texted a friend as soon as I got out, and I told him “that was a very good movie peppered with lots of shit that I didn’t care for at all.”

I don’t know what I think about it. If it was good or bad. If I like it or not.

If you read spoilers but didn’t see it, and we’re mad, I get that. I was mad too. I wrote most of this last night, and I’ve had to go back and amend it.

Also, please check your Tony vs Steve bs at the door. I like them both to varying degrees. That said I take issue with Steve’s choices and characterization at the end. We’ll get to that.

The Tony fans at least can say their boy saved the universe. They’re going to be mad still, but at least he went out in the best way possible if he had to die. Which he didn’t, but... we’ll get to that too.

The people who will be mad the most? Cap fans. Sharon Carter fans. Black Widow fans. Thor fans. Iron Man fans, probably, won’t be mad so much as sad. Actually, no, mad, because they probably wanted a happy ending for him.

So yeah. Is it “bad” if it makes so many people mad? Or are they just choices they didn’t like? For me, there was a lot of that. There was also a bit of characterization I didn’t like.

I’ll say this though, because the Steve thing that has everyone mad? I’m mad too, but per their time travel rules?

Steve didn’t erase Peggy’s family. They still exist in our timeline. Steve created a new timeline for himself to go live in. We don’t know if he stopped HYDRA and saved Bucky in that one, but I mean, we can assume.

So everyone complaining that he let all that shit happen? No he didn’t. This is an alternate reality he’s living in now.

If we go by what they established about changing the past not affecting the present.

But then we have Joe Biden Steve at the end, so... unless that’s a Joe Biden Steve who went from his timeline back to ours once he grew old. Not a Steve that existed and lived in the past of our current timeline. Then it actually works without contradicting their own time travel rules.

IMO... they ignored/ruined his character arc... but due to their aforementioned time travel rules, Steve going to the past wouldn’t affect that the present that he’s leaving.

So he COULD stop HYDRA, find Bucky, prevent Howard’s death, warn Hank and Janet about the missile.

That would all be an alternate timeline though, and our Bucky would still be the Winter Soldier.

So yeah, they contradict themselves... and completely fuck over Sharon Carter in the process. You know Steve didn’t tell Sam who his wife was, because he didn’t want him to tell Sharon that after kissing her he went back to marry her Aunt thus creating an alternate timeline to live in.

That’s the present being affected by him going back in time. Your time travel rules suck, Marvel.

So the children and family Peggy had? They still exist in our timeline, but not the timeline Steve created. The reality Steve created.

Okay so they don’t explain it, so this is just me trying to make sense of it myself. They say changing the past doesn’t change the present you left from, so unless Bruce was wrong and they’re contradicting their own rules Old Steve can’t have been actually out there all this time.

So I guess even though he didn’t show up in the gear and with the time machine when we see him, he did earlier, and just went to wait by the lake with the shield to be all dramatic? He probably waited to return until his Peggy died, and then he returned at some random point maybe like a day before they planned to send him back. He knew they would be there, so he just waited in his old man clothes.

That’s all I can think of.

So retroactively?

They had Steve kiss his wife’s alternate reality niece. I like Sharon Carter in the comics, I like what little they did with her on film.

They did her so dirty in the MCU, in the comics Peggy is almost a footnote and just part of his backstory. Sharon is Steve’s true love. Whether you ship them or not, they made Peggy out to be a bigger deal than she is in the source material.

I’m not here for pitting women against each other, but... God, the only woman the MCU has done dirtier is Betty Ross. Who should have been there with her dad at the funeral. Acknowledge her existence, Marvel. Yes they’re estranged, but maybe say having her die made Ross stop being such a dickhead and realize what really mattered.

Calling Peggy the love of his life is bullshit. Yeah, he had a date. Had. He never made it, due to being frozen. I don’t agree that they loved each other, tbh. I saw someone say they each had an idealistic, at times unhealthy attachment... but not love. Frankly? That’s not wrong. They liked each other. It never developed into love. Not in the timeline/reality we followed for the past ten years.

If this was their plan all along, then why did they introduce Sharon as a potential love interest?

Peggy is his past, Sharon is his future. The Lana Lang and the Lois Lane, respectively.

They didn’t plan this. It’s clear by how sloppy it is. It’s just so haphazard and insulting to all the characters involved, and yet Evans seems to be on board with it which disappoints but doesn’t surprise me.

Sharon didn’t have much screentime in the MCU, but every moment she had was important to the plot. She was one of the only agents that questioned Pierce’s orders. She held Rumlow at gunpoint even though the odds were against her. She let Steve know where Bucky was. She gave he and Sam back their gear. A lot of her scenes in Civil War got cut, and she got screwed by making it an Avengers movie instead of a proper Cap film.

She also got screwed by fandom. People acted like known like fucking toddlers, all because she was getting in the way of popular ships. Emily Van Camp was terribly harassed online, people calling her Steve’s beard or that it was icky and gross. Evans even said it was icky, which wasn’t that supportive of him... and then...

I liked Peggy in The First Avenger, but Hayley Atwell’s lowkey/high key narcissism is known within fandom circles, how she turned on Emily Van Camp and Sharon as a whole and threw shade at cons and on twitter and such. That left a bad taste in my mouth where I no longer care for the character at this point.

And they complete ignore/regress Cap’s arc of moving on. The fact he’s not the same man who went into the ice which is something even Whedon realized and addressed when he had him snap himself out of his Scarlet Witch!Vision.

The line from TWS they sampled for the trailer about the world changing and none of them can go back?

That was a lie. What’s ridiculous is that is the same exact directors, same exact screenwriters?

“Some people move on, but not us?” Well in that regard he had, so fuck that.

Speaking of regression, Thor’s?

I’m of two minds. He had depression and PTSD, but in my opinion, that’s end result wasn’t what Thor’s end result would be. He probably felt like he failed his people, but Jesus Christ, turning him into the Big Lebowski... fat jokes...

He becomes king, half his people are slaughtered and then and then he just... abandons the rest? To drink and watch his friends play video games? That’s sad. I think Thor would have felt like he failed and be hurting, but still try to do his best for the people who were left and still needed him? Instead of letting Valkyrie do it and the at the end to officially giving her the burden of ruling and fucking off into space?

And then at the end, he *officially* throws the burden of ruling in Valkyrie’s hands. Not that she isn’t capable, but it isn’t and shouldn’t be her responsibility.

“He’s being who he is, not who he’s supposed to be.”

That would be nice if it didn’t invalidate his arc. He didn’t want to be king at the end of Thor: The Dark World either, but at the end of Ragnarok he accepted it and was at peace with it.

Also, he didn’t need the hammer. Ragnarok made that clear. I’m glad Steve took it back with the stones, and I know it was more Thor needing to know if he was still worthy after becoming Big Lebowski... but it wasn’t needed. They just wanted Cap to wield it, and for them to have something else blunt to hit Thanos with.

This is the easiest money Natalie Portman made in her life. I feel bad for my friend who is a big Jane fan, as it’s literally maybe 15 seconds.

Nice to see Pierce, Sitwell, and Rumlow/Crossbones back, even if it’s only for a flashback and they’re all still dead in our reality. Or it would be, if it didn’t make the latter two out to be dumb. I mean, Rumlow isn’t a genius but he’s not just a dumb meathead. He wouldn’t just hand over the tesseract, he’d bring Cap to his superiors to ask “yeah hey what the fuck?”

Also, having Cap say Hail HYDRA is just... gross.

...Alternate timeline/reality Loki has the tesseract. I guess he’s the one the Disney+ series is going to follow. He’s wiped of all his development, though.

Vision is still dead. I guess maybe Shuri will rebuild him? Or it will take place between Civil War and Infinity War

So Guardians 3 is going to be about finding the alternate timeline Gamora who is now stuck in this one, huh? And I guess Thor is now a Guardian, or he’ll leave them between movies?

The alternate Nebula, I’m torn on. I think they could have gotten through to her, and she would be willing to team up with him. and would be willing to team up with them to kill Thanos. She never told him where the Soul Stone was. I mean, that’s why she aligned herself with Ronan. To kill Thanos. She hates Thanos.

Her wanting to make him proud and earn his favor despite what he did to her is heartbreaking on one hand, but the loyalty, when it’s been shown she’ll be disloyal and desert him if someone promises to kill him... idk. Btw.

Nebula should have gotten to kill Thanos. I don’t care that Iron Man started and is their poster boy. I��m sorry Tony fans. She deserved it more than he did.

Something else I’m curious about... was Peter Parker’s entire class killed? Not just Ned, the whole class. MJ, Flash, etc.? Because his entire supporting cast doesn’t seem to have aged at all in the Far From Home previews.

Also you’re telling me that in those five years, May never confronted Tony? Or if she did, we never saw it? Boo.

Oh, another dumb thing. Banner. Hulk. Professor Hulk. We don’t see how Banner made peace with the Hulk and became Professor Hulk, that all happens offscreen which is so cheap. He’s also just annoying throughout the whole film, and treated as comic relief? Also, the uncanny valley was deep this time around.

I’d honestly rather Cap had died as well, rather than the ending he got. Rather, if old man Steve didn’t show up, and there was just a cliffhanger of him being lost in time? Which has precedent in the comics? That would have been great. Instead of the bad characterization.

I’m indifferent to Tony’s death, honestly. He could have retired and raised his daughter. He could have died. I guess it’s cheaper to just kill him off and not worry about paying Downey for cameos they wouldn’t be able to resist.

Okay, the other death. Nat’s. I don’t care for it, but it worked. When I say it worked, I mean her motivations and the fact she at least had some autonomy. It was still fridging. It’s gross. It sucks.. but at least it wasn’t exactly like Gamora’s where she was a victim. I mean, she is a victim. A victim of gross writing, but... I like the character, you’re killing the only female OG Avenger for angst and drama... I would have preferred it was Renner, but her reasons worked even if I didn’t like it. I do think it would have been even just as heartbreaking/tragic though, it Clint had to give up his life for the hope of getting his family back. A devil’s bargain, they’ll be alive, but you won’t be and won’t see them again.

I question the hell is the point of a Black Widow movie now. Why should we care? Don’t get me wrong I like Nat. I have nothing against self contained, one-off adventures... but... it will be a prequel that doesn’t develop the character at all or see her grow and it’ll be inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. It may be enjoyable, but do we need to see it? It’s the Solo situation.

Do we need to see how the character became the character? What purpose does telling her backstory now serve, aside from just making people sad? Do we see how she started so we can appreciate how far she came, though? I can already appreciate that. You don’t need to twist the knife by making her origin her swan song. They can’t bring back our Nat, but who knows. Maybe the next villain will be Kang, and we aren’t done with time travel. Maybe we can have an alternate timeline Nat come into our universe like we did with Gamora.

A timeline where Clint was the one to die. I can deal with that, if they give ScarJo the money. I guess.

SCOTT LANG SAVED THE UNIVERSE. Well, actually. Also, a rat. A rat is responsible for saving the universe. I mean I laughed, but we couldn’t see Scott get himself out? He’s still my boy.

He’s probably my favorite character in the film. Seeing him and Hope reunite in the end battle was nice and made me happy, the way they didn’t miss a beat and got to working together. Him trying to keep it together when he talked about losing her. The end scene with them and Cassie. The fact she called Cap “Cap” and they shared a glance. Sucks for Scott to have missed five years of his daughter’s life, through.

Also, it kinda sucks that along with the people brought back, they couldn’t bring them the likes of Frigga and Quicksilver. Yes, they died, but you can still revive them in the present. You don’t have to make it so they never died. Maybe Quicksilver will Maybe in the WandaVision show, especially now that they won’t have to worry about a competing Fox version. Introduce her ability to warp reality. He was rumored to have been on set, and so I was expecting to see him in a flashback at least. Alas.

SPEAKING OF REVIVING DEAD CHARACTERS THOUGH. Why couldn’t like, Carol, use the gauntlet to revive Tony before they sent the stones back? She could take it. He didn’t need to stay dead, except for the fact... you know... Downey is expensive.

Something I find hilarious?

The kid from Iron Man 3 is at the funeral.

That kid knew nothing about the film whatsoever, except for the biggest spoiler? Cause if they invite HIM back to be at a funeral scene... whose funeral would it be, that he would attend, aside from Tony’s?

Oh, and SamCap. People, calm down.

I like Sam, Sam is worthy of the shield, Bucky’s not quite in a place where he’s ready for it anyway. In the comics Bucky becomes Cap, and then Sam becomes Cap after him. They can reverse the order. Bucky can still become Cap after him. Sebastian still has four movies left in his nine movie deal.

I’m curious about the Disney+ show now though. If it will be retitled, if they announced a fake title ala Serpent Society for Civil War. Although. I have a fear.

I don’t trust Marvel and I can see them killing Sam by the end of the Falcon & Winter Soldier series.

And then Bucky will take up the shield. Mackie’s 40. Idk how much longer he’ll want to be doing this, and he’s said in interviews he had no interest in bringing Cap and would like to see Sebastian take a crack at it, that he likes Falcon being Falcon.

Maybe age isn’t a factor. Bettany’s in his 40’s. Cheadle’s in his fifties. Paul Rudd is an ageless immortal who claims to be fifty. None of those are physically demanding roles though, not to the scale of Cap. The closest would be Chadwick Boseman, who is a year older at 41.

Age aside, I can see them doing it. That’s kinda the shit Marvel would do.

“Yay! We’re so progressive! We’re making Sam Captain America to placate his fans before we kill him! We won’t do that *just* yet in Endgame, we’ll wait to kill the black guy until he’s done helping out this other white guy figure out his place in the world!”

Now I’m gonna be anxious about that for the next year or two.

But so I think the shows are for characters on the shelf movie wise. Idk if when the show is over, we’ll see Mackie as Captain America in Avengers 5. It would be cool, but idk.

I don’t know if they’re even thinking of Avengers 5 at this point, or plotting out things like Guardians and Black Panther and Captain Marvel. And Eternals. And all their new Fox characters.

I guess the new Avengers line up will be Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Ant-Man, Wasp, SamCap, and Spider-Man? Maybe Doctor Strange?

Wanda retires to TV. As does Clint maybe, to train Kate Bishop and/or his daughter. Rhodey and Banner are just around.

Also. Banner and Thunderbolt Ross, at the end. Ross and the Hulk. Both in the same scene. Neither acknowledging each other or having any interaction whatsoever. Odd.

I keep hearing rumors about a Thunderbolts movie tho, from someone who was accurate with all of their Endgame leaks. I wonder if they want Ross to be the Fury of that which is why they’ve kept him around.

Bucky recently led the Thunderbolts but also Zemo is so ingrained in their history and I don’t see them working together at all.

I guess you could bring in Bernthal’s Punisher by that point if you want. Elektra. They won’t do it but they could.

Ghost would be a good fit, tho I don’t wanna see her be forced to kill people again. I can see them forcing her to work of a sentence. If she’s still alive, cause God if she was snapped and went 5 years without the Quantum energy... but yeah.

Bring back The Leader as a villain finally. Crap, I’m plotting a fanfiction.

https://twitter.com/rogerwardell/status/1070465411387404289?s=21

Idk. I just. Am disappointed but not surprised tbh.

Everyone knows I don’t like MCU Clint, but the callback interaction between he and T’Challa with the latter remembering his name was nice I guess. The final battle as a whole was nice I guess.

OH. And the exchange between Dr. Strange and Wong about if he brought everyone, and if he anted more? Probably not the intent, but to me it just seemed like a big “shut up” to everyone wanting the Netflix and Agents of SHIELD characters to cross over.

Also, a final critique?

The whole fake scripts, not giving actors a script thing. I hate it. I know like Mark Ruffalo and Tom Holland are notorious for letting spoilers slip, but I legit believe that a reason why A LOT of the actors got fake scripts was not to prevent spoilers but to prevent any of them going full Ed Norton and throwing a fit about the quality of said script.

Not letting the actors know the context of the scene they are performing is not only disrespectful but it’s broken and what can you expect but performances where they’re legitimately incapable of giving it their all?

That’s all I got for now. I guess.

I know it’s a joke, “I loved everything except for the stuff I didn’t” but seriously? I enjoyed everything except for the stuff I hated. Does that stuff ruin the movie? Do I not like it because I’m petty, or because it’s bad? You can not like something, it doesn’t mean it’s bad... but I think certain choices... were bad. Were very bad.

Was it shit sandwiched with awesome, or awesome sandwiched with shit? Do they balance each other out? Your mileage may vary. I haven’t decided yet.

EDITED: I replied to this in another post, a point by @chujo-hime, but I’ll copy/paste it on here since more people are likely to see this than our conversation.

“There’s no point in doing BuckyCap now that they’ve fridged Natasha”

I can’t fault you for feeling that way, and I don’t entirely disagree. have a theory on how Natasha could return despite them saying it couldn’t be undone.

Do what they did with Gamora. Take a version from an alternate universe/timeline. Maybe one where everything is the same, except that Clint died instead of her.

Whether or not they do this? Doubtful. Unless with the money they’re saving by letting another actor go (ahem) they give it to ScarJo to lure her back.

I mean, they have Kang back now. Next to Ultron, he’s one of The Avengers’ biggest villains. He’s also a time traveler, so there are ways… idk.

I’ve still not fully processed it. Whether Marvel is smart enough or cares to take advantage of their out, they have it. If nothing else, fans can exploit it in Fix-It fics.

ANOTHER EDIT:

Oh, what was the point of Ronin? I don’t mean sad Clint, I mean Ronin, aside from selling more action figures? He wasn’t even Ronin, they made him into The Punisher Lite. Ronin wasn’t Ronin, but I mean Clint hasn’t been Clint imo so...

[peachrogers]

my summation + overall thoughts of avengers: endgame

including: what i found wrong with endgame and why i am currently refusing to acknowledge that it happened.

okay i wrote this a while ago but after i never actually got around to posting it so here it is. 

first off,, i will once again introduce myself since this account is fairly new. hello, my name is mackenzie, call me mackenzie, or zie or mack or whatever you want. this was originally to be my main acc after i deactivacted all my old tumblrs because i planned to start fresh on tumblr again and after watching endgame for the second time last wednesday, this account became a marvel acc strictly so !! yeah follow me lets be friends !! message me whenever if you wanna talk or cry or anything. 

to put it bluntly,, endgame fucking sucked. 

endgame was meant to tie everything together. endgame was meant to be this great movie to sum everything up and tie it all together and to just make it make sense in other words.

there was so much hype surrounding endgame, so much pressure, so much excitement. 

in my opinion? the joint effort of the writers and the directors managed to ruin it all. they managed to take a movie that was supposed to do so much for the mcu, to tie everything together as a final conclusion to this infinity saga and they blew it all up.

endgame wasn’t a horrible movie, but there were multiple parts that i (and multiple others i know of) did not like and i will be going over it in this post.

it’s not just because of steve’s ending, which i know, i know, i’ve bitching and crying about that for a while on this account. it’s more than just steve’s ending.

this post is a little all over the place but i’ll try to keep my thoughts together the best that i can.

just a disclaimer: UNDER THE CUT I WILL BE TALKING IN DEPTH ABOUT THE EVENTS OF AVENGERS: ENDGAME AND THIS WILL INCLUDE MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUT THE MOVIE SO PLEASE BE WARY. (if you haven’t, seriously where the fuck have you been) BUT IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ENDGAME AND DO NOT WISH TO HAVE IT SPOILED PLEASE SCROLL PAST THIS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

okay here we go !! so i made posts before about this but this is gonna just be a big long post about EVERYTHING and i’ll explain everything and why endgame sucked. 

originally i had decided to go through scene by scene and talk about each scene but i mean, that’s not really the point of this post and frankly, doing that would probably make this post longer than i want it to be. so i will be focusing on the important scenes. the ones i think are most important to point out and talk about.

as i mentioned above the cut, it’s not just about steve. i know my user is peachrogers and steve rogers has always been my fave avenger. but its more than just steve’s ending and i’ll get into that as we get to it.

i used a transcript while writing this just to help me completely recall everything as it actually was since i don’t consider my memory completely reliable so i linked it if anyone else wants to look at it.  

and again, as i mentioned above, i don’t hate everything about endgame. there were parts of endgame i did like and enjoy. tony and nebula playing paper football for example, i thought that scene was very endearing and adorable and carol coming to save them really made me happy. 

but at the same time, there were scenes i did not enjoy. and i will be mainly going depth on those scenes since i kinda wanted to just summarize and explain and captalize on why endgame failed at doing the job it was meant to do in tying together these 22 mcu films released in the past 11 years.

so starting at the beginning of the film, after they find thaos and thor chops off his head and they have a five year time skip, we see steve, in a group therapy session. 

where steve once again brings up the love of his life and how everyone has to move on. which SPOILER ALERT he doesn’t. this scene, when i first watched i was kinda like whatever, but watching it the second time and watching it now(or even thinking on it), it makes me SO SO mad. pretty sure they kept this scene bc one of the directors is in it. this scene also just makes steve contradict himself since he goes on about how important it is for to move on and yet he just doesn’t even follow his own advice in the end and it aggravates me which i will get into later on.

so skipping to after scott comes out of the time machine van and then steve goes to visit natasha. tbh everytime i watch this scene with natasha and steve, it always just breaks my heart because of the whole:

you know, i keep telling everyone they should move on and… grow. some do. but not us.

(there steve goes again just contradicting himself:(()

and

we both need to get a life. 

you first.

and i remember reblogging a gif set of nat and steve with the same caption and i just :( bc of where they end up in the end and it’s just its really sad. 

seeing tony and pepper with morgan and the fact that tony has finally achieved a level of normalcy where he has his own life with his wife and his child, it’s really nice to see. he definitely deserves it. and i completely understand tony shutting down steve, nat, and scott because he doesn’t want to risk everything especially if it doesn’t work and he ends up losing it. and i totally understood that.

the diner scene where nat, steve, and scott go to talk to bruce about time travel. first off, i just wanna point off how annoying that scene was ?? especially the part with the kids and them not wanting a pic with scott and apparently they only kept that part in bc one of the kids was one of the director’s kids?? there’s just so much wrong with it. 

and now i move on to the great marvel cinematic universe version of time travel. which in itself really hardly makes any sense whatsoever since the directors and the writers both contradict each other on how it works. if you’re going to put time travel in your movie, i really feel like everyone should be on the same page on how it works but i mean, that’s just me. 

it took me a little bit to understand it bc what the fuck. 

the scene where clint,rhodey, bruce, nebula, and scott are discussing how time travel works and rhodey is just naming off all these time movies where time travel works the way that i see it as working(where your past completely changes your future/butterfly effect/chaos theory) and bruce and nebula basically debunk the whole thing and explain it as how changing your past doesn’t change your future and all the whole thing is just bullshit if you ask me. it’s so hard to understand.

okay im not here to argue about time travel. but let me just give some perspective. for me personally, i just see time travel to work like it did in life is strange because it makes more sense. if you change something in the past, that would directly impact your future. if you go in the past and prevent someone from dying, that would not just change the fact that they didn’t die but other factors would be affected too.

and when they brought in the alternate timelines and the “multiverse” it just made things so much more complicated for me.

and i have tried to educate myself more to understand it, i’ve read through multiple posts on the whole time travel thing and i’ve rewatched movies as well to try and understand.

i guess the biggest thing that didn’t sit well with me is just that the directors and writers WHO YOU WOULD ASSUME would bring some clarity and insight on the matter really just brought more confusion and only contradicted each other and i do Not Like it at all. 

but i mean who cares about what we want ? it obviously doesn’t mean shit to them.

moving on.

uh lebowski thor idk at first i really wasn’t into it and i was kinda like wtf but i mean i’ve kinda come to be cool with the change in character. and apparently chris hemsworth was really into it so idk to each their own. 

and just for the record: i think we all know that Noobmaster69 is deadpool

also i fucked loved the america’s ass joke but i’m pretty sure everyone did. 

okay moving on to stony going to the camp lehigh in the 1970s. really i just want to address the scene where steve hides in peggy’s office. you see on her desk that one picture of steve and the picture of her kids and legiT PEGGY WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE OTHER OFFICE HOW DID SHE NOT SEE STEVE WHAT THE FUCK

god idk just thinking about how it was the 1970s and she still thinks about steve who tbh she hardly knew, especially if you compare him to idk daniel sousa ?? and steve saw the picture of her kids and he still was like lol yeah not moving on.

natasha dying okay yeah that was hard to watch. especially since she got nothing for it. tony gets a whole funeral with everyone and yeah ig she got that one moment with the five of them talking about trying to bring her back but that was it and i hate that. natasha deserved more love more attention more recognition way way more than what she got.

ON YOUR LEFT

okay idk how people heard steve’s avenger assemble when the fucker literally whispered it.

i mean it was really nice seeing everyone coming together and fighting and idk it was just everything to see the final fight against thanos. 

ALSO CAP WIELDING MJOLNIR 

tony dying, like i definitely did cry and it was sad, but in a way it was okay because he did it for them he did it for everyone. 

there was an interview with the writers who said there wasn’t a draft where tony didn’t die and i don’t doubt it because i mean, i think it was needed. i think tony needed to be the one to do it. 

and now we get to my favorite part. you know, the worst part of the movie. where steve just ruins everything. 

in the process of returning the infinity stones, steve decides to create an alternate timeline with “peggy” and live out his life with her in that timeline while actual steve of that timeline is in ice.

okay listen i was cool with the final dance, i think that was definitely needed and it would’ve been a perfect end for steve to do that and return and idk give up captain america. but instead NO THEY HAVE TO DESTROY ALL OF captain america’s character development, all of peggy carter’s character development, RUIN BUCKY AND JUST RUIN EVERYTHING THAT WASNT OKAY I AM STILL JUST SO UPSET BECAUSE FOR STEVE TO JUST THROW EVERYTHING OUT THE WINDOW AND BE WITH PEGGY IN A DIFFERENT TIMELINE ITS NOT SOMETHING STEVE WOULD DO

we all know that is not something steve would do so it just it killed me and the directors hardly even gave an explanation for it and idk its just its such a let down and im just im not okay with it and i won’t be for a while. steve has always been my favorite avenger and for him to go out like this. its so disappointing, steve rogers deserved a better ending than this. 

endgame sucked and its gonna take me a while to accept that endgame actually happened. 

[thomeme]

Tagged

marvel asks @newtlovesorder THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME ILY <333

steve: are you small or tall?

S m a l l 

bucky: what’s your favorite memory?

oof...uhh...its one that involves my friend: in year 7 or 8 we were eating our lunch in the cafeteria and talking and laughing, but my friend had food in her mouth whilst she was talking to me (we were also face to face) and so when she made the s sound a piece of food flew out of her mouth and in between my eyebrows, and then it bounced back off 

sam: what makes you happy?

music, my fronds, the sun, my followers

peggy: what’s your favorite era?

FUCK IDK, i’ve never really thought about this...idk, just an era where nothing really mattered

thor: what’s your favorite weather?

when it’s rainy/stormy and when its really sunny but had a bit of breeze

valkyrie: what’s your favorite drink?

i dont think i have a favourite?? maybe an arizona ice tea??

heimdall: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

assisting my dad with his wedding photography even though he probably wont neeed it cos hes one of the best photographers that i know (ily dad)

korg: are you optimistic or pessimistic?

im more of a realistic,,,so i guess kind of pessimistic??? idk

peter: are you good at keeping secrets?

FAM i could be your own secret diary with the number of secrets i’ve kept 

ned: who is your best friend?

@harnabo24 (she tried to use tumblr but failed miserably) (shes the one that spat food in between my eyebrows)

michelle: do you like to go to parties?

no 

liz: who was your high school crush?

;);););) i had many crushes but there was this one boy who’s laugh i really liked and his voice was really nice and his smile was really nice and his floofy hair was quite nice and that crush went on for a little bit lmao, pretty sure im over him now

aunt may: who or what are you most protective over?

idk anyone who is mean to my friends??? im not exactly a protective person because im just way too quiet but if someone makes me lose my marbles because they’re picking on one of my fronds then i will be on that shit

t'challa: what is the most important thing your parents taught you?

SCHOOL IS NOT IMPORTANT, YOU DONT NEED GRADES, GRADES DONT DEFINE YOU, i left in year 10 and haven’t done any exams yet and im not in college but im feeling pretty good

shurl: Are you a good driver?

i dont drive but if i did id probably be pulled over for being too careful and slow

nakia: what causes are you passionate about?

will it be a bad thing to say that im not really passionate about causes?? i mean like im definitely not an anti or anything please dont attack me but im not the type of person to put myself out there (im not brave enough thats what im saying)

okoye: do you speak more than one language?

ive said this tooooo many times but no and i dont think i ever will, i cant barely speak english and thats my first and only language

m'baku: are you vegetarian?

i tried to be along with my mum because my mum told me and my dad about being healthier butttt that didnt work out so no

killmonger: sunrises or sunsets?

b o t h

peter quill: what’s your favorite song from your childhood?

pass out by tinie tempah, what a tune...wait also miami 2 ibiza by swedish house mafia

gamora: do you like to dance?

no

nebula: do you get along with your siblings?

uhhhh  i guess so yeah, even though i beat my older brother up i still love him i guess, my 2 sisters aren’t around much because one lives a few hours away from us and ones married and happy and a teacher

groot: are you quiet or talkative?

IT DEPENDS, irl im a quiet lil shit but on here,,,,im quite talkative (as you can see with the other answers)

rocket: have you changed a lot since you were younger?

SO M UCH LIKE???? WTF

asgard: if you could move anywhere, where would you pick?

i kinda wanna to go a city, i’ve lived in the countryside for a while that i kinda miss towns and cities

brooklyn: where do you feel most at home?

in my room

wakanda: what is your hometown known for?

seagulls, a banksy mural (i think it was taken down tho idk) and these fountains that are like sprinklers that you can run through (man i miss that place)

[raindrop-rouge]

How well do you know your best friend?

Original post here. Answer these questions about your bff, your tumblr bff, or just anyone you want to show a lot of appreciation on here to!!!!

I was tagged by @chiruchill and will answer the questions about her (and tagging her back!!!). Tagging @shulkie @milleandra-nebula @crying-abt-fictional-people , uh chiru also tagged @glassesgirl0401 and @gray-x-natsus-matching-hip-scars  but it didn’t seem to work? idk guys feel free to spread the love but also feel free to ignore!!! (I HIGHLY recommend getting the questions from the original post, I rambled for MILES in every single question you don’t wanna read the below trust me)

1. What is your best friend’s dream job, and why? Man, idk that you’ve ever blabbed about something specific, like I know you’d love to run a café with me, or a library with your mom, or any kind if small store like that... Obviously I know you were ready to invest a lot of time and effort into teaching too... Any job that would give you enough time and self management to allow you to spend time with your dogs really ahaha

2. What is their biggest pet peeve, and why do you think that is? The main one is people being 1)  messy and 2) loud. A few weeks ago I would have just said “well you’re considerate and wish they could be too”, but I said I’d be brutally honest about this and girl... I read something a little while ago and I am genuinely worried your hyperawareness of everyone around you stems from something more specific, but we can talk about it whenever

3. What is their favourite TV series (live action)? LMAO GO AWAY I GET THE MESSAGE I will watch Arrested Development asap

4. What is their favourite TV series (animated)? Ahaha you’ve recommended a lot of quality comedies to me over the years, do you have an ultimate fave though? I know there was that group of school girls comedy gdi I watched it but forget the name >< welp

5. What does your best friend value most in life, and why? (Do you think they value most what they say they do, or something else?) Holy shit ok this goes right back to a thing the guys were talking about earlier. I’m gonna say your dogs, like you do say you do :p If we’re talking values in people/ ways of life... What the guys brought up was that you say you only want a simple life with just what we need, but... well, I guess we all know none of us have ANY idea what a minimal life is like, so I’d say what you mean by that is, you do value the life standard we currently have, where we never have to worry about a solid roof over our heads, food, and enough money left to support your pets. So yeah, my answer is 1) your dogs, and 2) the kinda life where we can support them x)

6. How would you describe their style, and how would they describe it? Colorful (but that’s how us French see all Scandinavians tbh), comfortable, like effortless but still cute? You’d probably agree it’s colorful but then say it’s not “stylish” though XD I think you just really like cute things but muuuuch prefer comfort first

7. If you were to decorate a room for your best friend, what would it look like, and why? !!!!! Aaahhh I’m a shit decorator with no taste, but I’d keep it minimal cause that’s how you feel best! A massive bed for you and your dogs, maybe nice tall lights you can reach from the bed but light the room well... A bookshelf... A pretty big desk... I’d want to add lots of plants and pillows, but idk if you’d want that clutter :/ Colors would be white beige and either pastel green or pastel pink.

8. What do you think their best quality is? You know how during a mario kart race you can see the names shuffle on the side as players cut in front or fall behind, that’s what your qualities are doing in my head now... You’re patient, so strong and independent (which I admire endlessly), generous, smart, but I guess what really sets you apart from me is your specific sense of humor and just wit in general??? idk how to explain, it’s not just that you make me laugh, it’s everything you say, I know only you would come up with that at that moment. It’s a big part of what makes me so excited when I’m around you, and a big part of why I miss you so badly when I’m not.

9. What does your best friend think their best quality is? Would they agree with you? Yee you think you’re funny and you’re right :p  Unless now you think your patience is your top quality given how much you’ve put up with lately

10. What is your best friend’s favourite book (or book series)? The Hobbit

11. What do you have in common with your best friend? LMAO our shitty sense of humor... Omg what else though :o we’re really different... maybe how difficult we are when it comes to really letting people in? idk please answer this one better than me

12. How did you meet, and what was your first impression of your best friend? First day of uni!!!! I was lost and confused, she had papers and was alone and therefore less intimidating, I asked her where she got the documents from... And once I got them, I think sheeee was the one to offer we sit next to each other while I was munching on my apple ahaha. I missed the next meeting, but after that she saw me at the bus stop, and offered to wait for the bus with me??? Kindest thing anyone had ever done for me at that point in my life, so yeah... How far we’ve come :’) Very first impression though... “she looks reasonable enough to talk to... Oh she’s nice... Yay she’s really nice!!!” ahaha

13. What does your best friend spend their free time doing, and why do you think they choose to do what they do? Reading, petting the dogs, watching stuff, gaming... It’s escapism isn’t it babe :’) Anything that’s relaxing and distracts you from whatever is happening irl

14. Who is their favourite fictional character, and why? Luigi cause he wears green lmao and cause he’s like the “second” brother and therefore deserves more love

15. What’s the first thing you tell other people when you talk about your best friend? “So Chiru - she’s my best friend and you’ll be hearing about her every day -” ACTUAL LINE SERVED TO ALL MY CO-WORKERS. And then I tend to say we lived together for 2 years, and that I miss you a lot

16. What’s your favourite story about them? Is there a single fave...How we met, how we came to do our groceries together and suddenly became unseparable, MY SURPRISE BDAY x2, coming to cheer for me at cheer, casually inviting me to your home, Nice (omg you reading Scandinavia and the world to me!!), our Japan travels, everything, right up to getting your last dog, is a highlight in my life

17. What’s your least favourite story about them? :))) fuck if I am telling that on here. Oh shit I said I’d be honest. Look... I think sometimes you forget I’m pretty insecure and basically any minor (or... you know... not so minor) event that makes me think maybe you’ll leave me behind after all is just like. uhm. “least favorite stories” is a mild way to explain how I feel about those times

18. Why do you think you two ended up becoming best friends? My dudes I wonder a lot. I know it’s so much more than just living together, if anything that makes most people hate each other. It’s shared values, willingness to make balanced efforts for each other, an endless stream of ideas for fun coming from both sides, similar interests... I don’t know, but Chiru I am just so grateful everyday I did find you

19. Would you be honest with your best friend if they were happy doing something, but you think it might end up harming them in the end? Ouch. Ok well... The truth is sometimes I doooo worry, but I’m so convinced you know what you’re doing so much better than I do, that no, I tend to trust whatever you say, if you’re convinced (/telling me you’re convinced) that what you’re doing isn’t harming you, I’ll believe you. At least, that’s what I tell myself... A part me of does worry, though, that I just don’t speak up because you’ll already have all the arguments ready and we’ll just unnecessarily argue about it, and I’ll end up hurt, and yes exactly it’s as bad as it sounds, I’m worried I wouldn’t want to fight you over your happiness in case it would result in hurt feelings. I’m a mess, this is terrible and I gotta work on that

20. Does your best friend play any instruments? Why do you think they chose that instrument? BISH SAYS SHE CAN SORTA PLAY THE GUITAR AND PIANO BUT HAS SHE PLAYED FOR ME YET, I THINK NOT. I am unappreciated, where is my serenade (jk jk, I realy doooo wanna hear you play though!!)

21. Do you and your best friend have a dream for the future, if so, what is it? Move in with me please it’s the one thing that keeps me going

22. What is one thing you have always wanted to tell your best friend, but never have? :)))) ((((: *digs through a million letter drafts and hell, fic drafts, we all know where my inspiration comes from anyway* Sigh... Well first of all I need you to know you’re the most beautiful and kind soul I have ever encountered. Please get that through your head. Secondly... I don’t think I’d have EVER brought this up, but that’s what the question is aiming for, isn’t it... You probably only held my hand in Barcelona because I was so black-out wasted you were worried I wouldn’t follow you home otherwise, but it made me sort of ridiculously happy, and I guess I wouldn’t mind if it happened again

23. What do you think your best friend’s life will be like 10 years from now? What I’m thinking or wishful thinking hah... Thinking, well... deep breath, you’ll be alright :) You’ll have a comfortable home somewhere you like, with a job that suits you. You’re too stubborn to settle for any less. Your dogs are with you, of course. And so is whoever will be lucky enough to be chosen by you. You can guess based on that what the wishful thinking is

24. What song makes you think of your best friend? IT’S 4:18 AM AND HONESTLY THERE ARE SO MANY TO CHOOSE FROM (anything from Just Dance tbh XD) BUT I CHOOSE THIS GEM (45:21) because fukkit it’s cold as heeeeck in my room right now and I’m only listening to this kind of music

25. Just to end on a mean note, what’s your best friend’s worst personality trait? (Be honest now, guys, none of that “they’re just too kind” bullshit) Worst? You wanna hear something crazy... Well you know I miss you, I always do and have been for so long now, but once I thought maybe if I listed everything that maybe weren’t the beeesst parts of your personality, and all the parts of my personality that probably annoyed you, I’d force myself to accept that maybe it’d be best for us to stop living together... And gdi I tried. But it’s just a really ridiculous list ... or at least it was, until that one night... Remember when one of my friends took my phone and texted you quite extensively, and that went really really badly? Well here’s the moment of truth: (hey it’s 4:25 now and I was out) I had broken down sobbing after you compared me to your dogs again :’) Look, sober me can rationally process your way of thinking. But... I guess deep down, we’re not the same, I want to be loved and appreciated like a human being. I’m genuinely sorry I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this sooner, idk what I was so scared of. So, uh, “worst” personality trait (which really isn’t one but)... omg I can’t even phrase this without turning it against myself ahaha, like it’s my own fault for telling you that everything was fine when it wasn’t. So look this isn’t even about your worst personality trait, I guess it’s me realizing I gotta stop lying about crap, and I hope you’ll be considerate and understanding like always :’) 

[chenlays]

DO AALLLL OF THE SPACE ASKS!+

IMG ILYSM

Nebula ; 5 songs on shuffle

1) Our Lady Of Sorrow(s?) - MCR2) The Fox and the Wolf - BMTH 3) Fantastic Baby - BIGBANG4) Lying Is The Most Fun… - P!ATD5) With Ears to See and Eyes to Hear - SWS

Cosmos ; what are you like when you’re angry at someone?

I slightly raise my voice when I’m mad at my family but when it’s at friends I just try to push it away and get aggressive ig

Shooting Star ; what are you like when you’re sad?

ahhh when I’m sad I don’t like to talk and I like to look at chenle lmao

Eclipse ; what are you like when you’re happy?

I’m smiley n giggly and occasionally I’m really hyper and distracted

Luna ; favorite names?

uHm I like the name caoimhe (pronounced like kee-va) and chenle 🤧😪 jK tho

Space Dust ; are you happy?

Overall I’d say yes, but I have my moments at least 10 times a week tbh

Constellation ; have you ever read a book that is worse than the movie?

I prefer movies over books because it’s really difficult for me to picture things from words so idk

Black Hole ; do you have any diagnoses?

I haven’t been diagnosed with anything but I’m confident that I at least have anxiety or smth but maybe depression I’m not exactly sure,,,I’ve been feeling better but I get sad a lot for no reason and it’s been like this for yEARS

Comet ; do you like like the person you’ve become?

iDk apparently my tone of voice gets really mean sometimes and I don’t like that at all and I look really angry sometimes lmAo but i guess I do

Galaxy ; are you a sun, moon, or stars person?

I love to look at the stars bc they’re so pretty and just so amazing to look at and it’s so weird bc they look so close yet they’re so far away omg

Milky Way ; do you prefer math or humanities?

IDk what humanities is but I do actually enjoy some math

Satellite ; when was your first kiss?

Like seventh grade?? IT was my friend it wasn’t romantic it was just friendly

Betelguise? ; what’s something that calms you down when you’re upset?

oK THIS is gonna sound so cheesy but when I’m upset I like to just lay in bed with my heater on in a cocoon while cuddling my cat and looking at pictures of chenle :///

Solar System ; if you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?

Iceland nO hesitation

Sunspot ; are you a sensitive person?

when I’m with others I’m kinda more emotionless and just happy and with my family I’m just d e a d a lot but myself I’m cryin every 5 seconds

Andromeda ; describe your first best friend

It was like in kindergarten forgive me,,,but she was really fun to hang out with and since we were 6 we would laugh about the smallest things all the time and she was there for me a lot and always talked to me and was never not herself AHH

Saturn ; what do you think about before falling asleep?

HMmm sometimes if I’m listening to chenle I think abt him,,but I don’t really know because I just kNock out and I could be thinking about life choices or the future I’m not sure

Pulsar ; what kind of person do you want to be?

I want to be a very nice person who is selfless and empathetic but can be sassy n extra and JUST less shy and so much more outgoing and physically loving AND A VERY HARD WORKER

Cassiopeia ; what do you like most about yourself?

My style? My dreams? uH my love for chenle ?? LmaO I have no idea it’s difficult to answer this question

Orion ; what do you dislike most about yourself?

Almost everything, but I hate my feelings and my laziness the most :’0

Meteor ; do you have a favorite historical figure?

Hm M I don’t really think about role models from the past,,,but I do enjoy lots of history and appreciate many cultures and languages and countries it intrigues me

[technoforestnymph]

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I was tagged by @97hy :))) thank uuu 💌

Nickname: my dad calls me noonie or nanoon, my cousins wife calls me noona, and one of my best friends calls me noorinspace cuz it was like my first username on instagram haha. but everyone just calls me noor. sometimes some idiots call me nora, but u know. its all good (like my name is noor its not that hard lol)

Starsign: ♐️

Height: 4′11 Last thing I googled: chabot college lol, hopefully I move to the bay next sem

Fave music artist: it changes like everday tbh but for right now I’ve been really into coheed and cambria, alexisonfire, chevelle, bts, nct 127, dean, seventeen, dance gavin dance, dave b, marc e bassy, infinite, jhene aiko, noisycell, simon dominic, skizzy mars, the spill canvas, we hate jh, the weeknd

Song stuck in my head: kings by angela

Last movie I watched: i think it was k project: missing kings but i haven’t finished it yet, besides that it was a frozen flower (which was alright, i enjoyed it but it had its flaws)

Last TV show I watched: hwarang or kuromukuro 

When did you create your blog: i first made a tumblr in 2014 but i made this blog october 2016

What kind of stuff do I post?: honestly theres no pattern ive established yet, whatever sparks my interest at the moment 

Do you have any other blogs: no

Do you get asks regularly?: no lol

Why did you choose your URL?: it’s a name of a galaxy or nebula i can’t remember and reminds me of the beginning of finding myself and how this is gonna be a long journey :)

Fave colour: wine red and black

Average hours of sleep: like 10-11 lol

Lucky number: idk i guess like 3 or 9 or something

Fave characters: i hope this isnt too long. ok I loooove kenshin from rurouni kenshin, i looooove killua from hunter x hunter, i also love gon, leorio, hisoka, mereum, illumi, chrollo lucilfer all from hxh, i love L and Light from death note, kuroh from k project, victor from yuri on ice, and prob tons more i can’t think of any more

How many blankets do you sleep with? 1 

Dream job: researcher or musician 

Following: 101 but i wanna follow more so if anyone wants to suggest me any, feel free 

i tag: @hijaxe @ilovnct @calpico @bbrowngirl @68mm @dewyjimin @angelcryingsoftly  @seoglyunamu @sovd @192171 💘💘💘📢📢📢

[sprinklesandsteak-blog]

Since I’m new, I’m going to be brave and try to answer these. Learn about me :P

1: Full name - (not for Tumblr) 2: Age - 14 3: 3 Fears - Ship’s propellors, lightning, anywhere too quiet (if I’m alone) 4: 3 things I love - Food, The Beach, Food 5: 4 turns on - good breath, tall, broad shoulders, not a wuss 6: 4 turns off - wuss, complaining, lazy, long hair 7: My best friend - Sara 8: Sexual orientation - Straight 9: My best first date - Probably hunting or fishing 10: How tall am I - 5′3″ 11: What do I miss - Summer, already 12: What time was I born - Don’t know 13: Favorite color - Multi 14: Do I have a crush - yes 15: Favorite quote - Nanananananana (Caddyshack) haha 16: Favorite place - Port Aransas, TX 17: Favorite food - Tough one... fried shrimp maybe 18: Do I use sarcasm - no..... 19: What am I listening to right now - My mom making noise in the kitchen 20: First thing I notice in new person - Confidence level 21: Shoe size - 5 22: Eye color - hazel 23: Hair color - blonde 24: Favorite style of clothing - town and country I guess. dungarees, sun dresses 25: Ever done a prank call? - no 27: Meaning behind my URL - 2 things that automatically make life better 28: Favorite movie - Forrest Gump 29: Favorite song - Hard to choose 30: Favorite band - Even harder to choose 31: How I feel right now - Tired, but wired 32: Someone I love - My baby cousin 33: My current relationship status - Single 34: My relationship with my parents - Good so far today haha 35: Favorite holiday - 4th of July 36: Tattoos and piercing I have - Just my ears 37: Tattoos and piercing I want - idk. maybe bellybutton 38: The reason I joined Tumblr - every once in awhile, I want to write stuff 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - kinda 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - yes 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - no 42: When did I last hold hands? - hmm like 2 months ago 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - 45/1hour depends 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - yes 45: Where am I right now? - in bed 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - lol Sara probably 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - depends. in the car or shower, loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yes 49: Am I excited for anything? - yes 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - not really 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - probably every day 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - yesterday 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I wouldn’t look, but I wouldn’t care either 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - I guess I’ll find out 55: What is something I disliked about today? - Waking up too early. I went to bed at 4:30 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Alan Menken 57: What do I think about most? - What fun stuff I want to try next 58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can dance like a REALLY white person haha 59: Do I have any strange phobias? - not really 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - both 61: What was the last lie I told? - don’t remember 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - no, yes, but not “visitors”. It will be like algae somewhere 64: Do I believe in magic? - only when I want to 65: Do I believe in luck? - no 66: What’s the weather like right now? - pretty nice, but I want it to get cooler already 67: What was the last book I’ve read? - I don’t like reading. Lord of the Flies (for school) 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - LOL yes 69: Do I have any nicknames? - no 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - bad ankle sprain 71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend. honestly 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - yes 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes 74: Favorite animal? - Hmm some kind of awesome bird probably 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - over at my friends house singing karaoke 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - stupid 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Da Doo Ron Ron 78: How can you win my heart? - By not asking too many questions 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - My name 80: What is my favorite word? - uvula. lol 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - I’m still new to this. idk 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - act as if this were your last day on earth. Then do the same thing tomorrow if you’re lucky enough to wake up 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - flying, duh 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - wouldn’t you like to know? 86: What is my current desktop picture? - stars, nebulae  87: Had sex? - yes 88: Bought condoms? - no 89: Gotten pregnant? - no 90: Failed a class? - no 91: Kissed a boy? - yes 92: Kissed a girl? - not for “real” 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no. ew 94: Had job? - no 95: Left the house without my wallet? - purse, yes 96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no 97: Had sex in public? - no 98: Played on a sports team? - cross country track 99: Smoked weed? - no 100: Did drugs? - no 101: Smoked cigarettes? - no 102: Drank alcohol? - yes 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no 104: Been overweight? - no 105: Been underweight? - no 106: Been to a wedding? - yes 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - lol probably 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - yes 109: Been outside my home country? - yes 110: Gotten my heart broken? - yes 111: Been to a professional sports game? - yes 112: Broken a bone? - no 113: Cut myself? - no 114: Been to prom? - no 115: Been in airplane? - yes 116: Fly by helicopter? - yes 117: What concerts have I been to? - I don’t think they count if it’s the rodeo, but a lot of rodeo concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - no 119: Learned another language? - trying 120: Wore make up? - of course 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - obviously 122: Had oral sex? - yes 123: Dyed my hair? - yes 124: Voted in a presidential election? - no 125: Rode in an ambulance? - no 126: Had a surgery? - yes 127: Met someone famous? - no 128: Stalked someone on a social network? - haven’t we all? 129: Peed outside? - of course 130: Been fishing? - love it 131: Helped with charity? - yes 132: Been rejected by a crush? - yes 133: Broken a mirror? - no 134: What do I want for birthday? - hmmm money to save for a car would be nice 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - not thinking about that AT ALL yet 136: Was I named after anyone? - yes 137: Do I like my handwriting? - it’s ok 138: What was my favorite toy as a child? - my stuffed bunny! 139: Favorite Tv Show? - Curb your enthusiasm 140: Where do I want to live when older? - don’t know. maybe Europe 141: Play any musical instrument? - piano, guitar, but not much anymore 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? - closed a shotgun on the palm of my hand and pinched myself 143: Favorite pizza toping? - pepperoni and jalapeno  144: Am I afraid of the dark? - sometimes 145: Am I afraid of heights? - sometimes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - yes 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - yes 148: What I’m really bad at - lol probably texting people back. I need to get better at that 149: What my greatest achievements are - Good grades for the most part 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - don’t remember 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - car, house, maybe investments for the rest so I could just live off it and be free 152: What do I like about myself - I think I’m fun to be with 153: My closest Tumblr friend - nobody yet 154: Something I fantasize about - Being important one day