#i have unfollowed/blocked so many fandom people lately

[thevioletcaptain]

do fandom people realize that gleefully firing off mean little zingers at the socially accepted online target of the week for clicks is functionally identical to the way high school bullies use cruelty for clout, or do they lack that level of self awareness?

[shieldofiron]

When I first joined this fandom in late 2022, I had some traction with some stories. And some people reached out to see if I wanted to join a discord server that was owned by a person who at the time had over 1000 followers and posted quite frequently. She was popular, though she presented herself as much more popular than she was. Let’s call her Z.

I did not connect with everyone there, in fact I was uncomfortable for reasons I will go into in a moment, but there were some people I really did connect with, and I stayed to be close to them. And then one day, my closest friend there was kicked out of the space with little to no explanation. He begged the mods and Z, formerly his close friends, and was blocked. I combed the server, but I couldn’t find anything that he did that in my opinion was worth kicking him out. Then he began losing followers and receiving many hurtful and upsetting anons on his tumblr. Angry, because I suspected they had something to do with it, I stopped posting in there and later left. I was disgusted that this was going on and they were acting to my face like it wasn’t, and still sucking up to me about my stories. He said he was worried about me believing him, believing that whatever he did, he didn’t understand what it was. But having witnessed Z’s behavior in her server I had no problem believing it was her and her friends.

Z used to find fanfiction or art of ships that she didn’t like, and @ everyone in the server to come look at it, despite knowing it was extremely distressing for some members. If you protested that you had no issue with these ships in fiction but that maybe you didn’t want to see that on a Tuesday at work in the general chat, Z and her closest friends would harass you (me) to say that it was bad, and evil. She often called for people to unfollow these artists, or block users who she had found and showed to us without any participation on our part. Despite this she frequently became interested in dead dove subject matter, but it was always ok when she did it. Boundaries did not exist to her, except for the boundaries of her taste and how she thought the world should be. Z would routinely make jokes about sensitive subjects like trans rights, and let's just say it felt like it wasn’t her place. But don’t worry, Z would say, I have friends who are [joke she had made] [from country she had insulted] so it’s fine. There’s only so many times you can hear a joke like that and not wonder why it’s being made over and over. If you were offended, everything was a joke, or there was something you didn’t understand.

This server was a deeply uncomfortable space. Many times I felt harassed over my politics, over my opinions in fiction, and it was often easier to just swallow this. When I met my friends there, they showed courage standing up for themselves and I am so glad that I found them. With them, my experiences of this fandom lightened enormously. Z and her friends had made me so paralyzed, paranoid and unhappy. I had been afraid to even talk about my race however tangentially. I was afraid to make posts against anti behavior, because they had so twisted the way I thought the Billy fandom would perceive them. Thankfully I do not think that the majority of the fandom agrees with her views.

Z apparently has been presenting harassing my friend as a misunderstanding. Perhaps the misunderstanding is that she thinks any of this is harmless. Misunderstandings can be overcome, discussed, apologized for. If someone is confused, you can explain, you can be civil. There was no discussion.

Z made no effort, except to further talk about him and others behind their backs. She never reached out to clear anything up at any time. Her excuses when she made them were frankly shocking. And she never explained to me why my friend was so dangerous, but hid behind fake apologies and more popular friends, lying to my face like things were all good. My friend made a post when he felt safe with her username and the username of another person who harassed him. My friends that I kept from that server are the bravest people I know who understand that reputation means nothing if you can’t look at your own actions with conviction. And Z went away for a time.

Until I earlier this year, I was invited to a very large Billy server. Immediately I was confused by a user I had seemingly never seen before who had me blocked. It was Z, with a new name. She had me blocked until she saw me interacting positively with a very popular artist. Then I somehow became unblocked. Which was very interesting. I came to find that she was very close friends with them or tried to be. She appeared to be very close with the owner of the server too.

I was obviously wary but who knows. People can change. I really believe that. Unfortunately I do not believe that she has changed yet.

All of her old behavior was back as was my paranoia and fear. And it appeared that, emboldened by her friendship with the owner of the server and others, she felt safe going even further. Here was finally what she had craved, a large platform and popularity to continue her previous behavior. I later came to find out that the owner of the server had her own issues with bullying others, twisting the truth, and other, much more serious things. They showed the same character that Z always did, sweet to my face and sour behind everyone’s back. Yet again people said that they worried they wouldn’t be believed. They were afraid of the fandom famous people who were their friends.

Perhaps it’s just me, but if I had been called out in the past for bullying a trans person online I would distance myself from any appearance of transphobia or bullying or lying. Not Z. She in fact announced that she would bully the mods and “everyone” in the server when people joined. I am not paraphrasing, she said he was a bully so often that it was almost comical. She openly said she was an anti when someone confronted her over AGAIN trying to publicly shame authors and create mass unfollowing campaigns. There were no or minimal consequences for this. She would casually bring up the same old jokes and dogwhistles that she used to, uglier with time, and to me pathetically stripped of anything that could have excuse them.

Nobody told me these things. I saw it with my own eyes. But still, somehow, she was the hero, the popular beloved person in every story. I was afraid because she had very powerful friends. Or at least she pretended she did. Because she was friends with a server owner who hurt people I cared about. I am still afraid now. But I’d rather do it afraid for my friends than watch this happen.

I would give up every stupid note on every stupid meme if it meant trans people, and all vulnerable people, felt safe in fandom spaces. I am tired of dishonest communication and trying to play some stupid game I never fucking cared about. If some popular person wants to crush me like a grape for believing my friends, they can go ahead and do it already.

Everybody wants to be liked, everybody wants to be believed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But I’m done waiting for people to believe me or like me. I’m done waiting for people to wake up and take a look in the mirror. To explain and to deign themselves to listen. I believe in my friends. I believe my eyes, and I believe in my own convictions. That’s enough for me.

I believe people can change. I hope they do. But I hope they do away from vulnerable people who they can hurt carelessly.

I’m not blocking you. Clean up your own mess.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I have been going back and forth in posting this, but want to have a clean slate and a clear mind going forward.

this fandom if I am being honest (and from experience in many others) has been the most roller coaster ride. it has been wonderful and blossoming, yet also, toxic and disheartening…

my current state right now, I feel as though I have been shunned from the community from all corners. stranded alone, with only a few friends (I could count them on one hand) to talk to and to trust.

I have been incredibly disappointed in this fandom by people I had considered friends, people that I believed to be sincere and kind, but over time showed a very different and ugly side.

I am not going to sugar coat this topic anymore… and be warned, I will call you out if need be, from this point on. I always had hopes that as a community mostly dominated by adults, we would act more like it, but it seems not. then accountability is necessary, because this school yard behaviour is not it.

I work most of the time, I barely even have time for a social life on top of personal things… tumblr is not my priority. but when I log in on here, I do wish and intend for this to be a space where I can relax and enjoy myself, to be creative and write and share my ideas and stories. to interact with people, to bond over characters and stories that I don’t ever get the chance to in real life, because I barely meet people with similar interests.

this is meant to be my safe haven.

recently it has been quite the opposite…

I have been gaslit, bullied & ghosted/neglected. as someone who genuinely struggles to put herself out there, I have made attempts that I am thankful for yet hurt by the experiences. putting myself in discord chats only to leave in the matter of a few days…

I have said this before and I will say it again. If I ever say anything to you directly or indirectly, and it doesn’t sit right with you. I am open to talk privately about it. I am not perfect, in fact far from it. I have flaws as do we all. I can make mistakes, I am human. if the matter can be resolved, amazing, if not: I don’t expect to get along with EVERYONE on this hellsite. the block and unfollow options are there for a reason!!!

regardless, I understand everyone has their own personal lives and issues… believe me, I DO! I am a huge advocate for life > tumblr. you need a break, take the break. you want to go on hiatus, go on hiatus. you do not owe anyone in this fandom shit, as I have reminded myself as of late. In saying that, showing people common courtesy and decency is not by any means a stretch, it should be the bare minimum.

showing support to your fanfic authors/gif makers and creators is valid and ideal.

I have taken multiple breaks because the stress and exhaustion from my work and personal life has been a lot, that I am able to remove myself from a situation, to not allow anyone else to suffer my ordeal. your actions have repercussions, and you will be held accountable.

to wrap it all up, I will continue to write my little, silly stories, I will continue to read fics. However, I have of recent been so turned off by some of the people in this community, that if I’m being honest (which I also strongly advocate for, and believe I owe whoever read this that), I have no energy to interact with people that have crossed me and made me feel less of the person I am at this point in time. my friends who I respect and admire dearly, know who they are, I don’t need to tell them twice.

when I feel comfortable with this fandom, my interactions may change, but for now. I very much enjoy my small number of friends.

thank you to those who read this entire mouthful, I genuinely appreciate the small things and taking the time out of YOUR day to read and listen to little old me, says a lot.

please take care of yourselves, and I hope that we can create a better more wholesome fandom space.

love always, Hel 🤍

[yanderemommabean]

Friendly little reminder that I'm not responsible for what you consume on your day to day social media

the way i knew EXACTLY the brand of ask you got in order to generate the post with this sentiment...

i'm more active on twitter recently but i do live in fear of posting relatively normal content and then people follow me for THAT and then i'm gonna talk about graphic gore and noncon etc. and they'll be all like "wtf is this"

like a lot of people on twitter/tumblr probably don't know the wild kinks i went for in my kinktober series. every now and then i RT a tweet saying "by the way i am a FREAK, unfollow, block, mute, i don't mind" sdfhglsg but i honestly doubt people listen that much

i feel better posting that stuff on Ao3 because the tags work better there,,, and you never get asks Like That lol but every now and then you do still get the random commenter who can't believe they found a dead dove in the bag labeled "dead dove: do not eat"

Some people have this weird "I have to be holier than thou and righteous and shame these sinners" when they stumble upon my blog and then like to infantilize me by saying "But but then you wont know this stuff will happen to you in real life or you could end up wanting this to happen"

Like I can't tell the difference between a fun indulgence in literature and real life horrible crimes I would never wish on anyone. I'm an adult who knows these topics are dark and dead dove. it's fun and taboo and doesn't hurt anyone IRL especially if tagged correctly so it doesn't ick/trigger people who stumble upon it and find it distressing.

My blog literally has yandere in the name, and says to stay away if you're a minor, along with constant mentions of me knowing this is fiction and to never want this IRL

I shouldn't HAVE to be like that in fics. Its a fic. We don't care, we know what we're getting into and if we don't like it we can be mature and just click away. But no. Some people need a soap box to stand on for anything they can get their hands on.

Liking dark and taboo subjects doesn't need any justification. If you like something you like it, if you don't then you don't, simple as that. even on my own blog I lately feel I have to be too clinical and clean because so many people are waiting to screech about "UGH THE YANDERE BLOG IS WRITING YANDERE THINGS"

IDK man I miss the days when fandom was a silly fun thing and not where Christian teens and young adult's tried to purify and convert everything they touch.

-Mommabean

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain. I was hoping maybe I could ask for some advice. If you have a Twitter account, how do you handle it since you're ot7 and a "shipper" (I hate that word)? Lately I've just been feeling super excluded from everywhere 🥲

Twitter taekookers seem to dislike you if you're ot7 or army.

Ot7 accounts seem to block any taekook biased accounts even when your account doesn't revolve around shipping. Also a majority of them have been really shady to JK since golden

JK focused / tae focused accounts also don't trust you or want to interact with you if you're army or double biased

I know this is first world problems but it's just frustrating because I really want to make friends but everything feels so divided and complicated 😕

Hi anon!

I wish I could be of some use.. but even though I do have a twitter account, I rarely go there. So I wouldn’t really know where to begin.

I think fandom is a weird place right now. Without the members we feel kinda lost and it seems as though the different parts of fandom are having trouble staying connected. It is possible to make friends. I know there’s people around here who are ot7 and Tkkrs, so I imagine there’s also people like that on twitter. Maybe they’re getting burried in the whole a bit? If the bigger accounts don’t do it for you, just simply unfollow. There’s no rule that says you have to follow certain accounts.. you’ll be able to find out everything you want through many different ways. And if you’re comfortable.. state your own thoughts and maybe likeminded people will flock to you?

[ranler]

Ooc: another announcement/boundaries

I come back here after noticing a weird phenomenon in the fandom. Yes I did leave, even blocking tags and unfollowing a lot of people, and this is coming especially from some friends who realised it as well, since I totally cut everything with the fandom and I don't really know what's going on lately.

What "phenomenom" I'm talking about? The blantantly copying, of course.

What I mean by that is that some of us realised that some people in the fandom, instead of coming up with original ideas, decide to shamelessly copy our concepts and make it their own. And it's not only with others who deoncelerized, no, sometimes it's even with ocs who are still -lers.

Now don't get me wrong, I think gatekeeping especially in the art community is disgusting, I cannot stand people who are like "you're not allowed to use the same poses or colors as I do." Because it's absolutely stupid, you cannot copyright things such as colors or poses.

But when it's about characters... It's a little more delicate. Especially in such a small fandom, where it's impossible that it is a "coincidence" if your character happens to have the same gimmick or color palette as another.

Maybe for some of you, it's alright if someone gets inspired by your oc to make their own, and it's your choice. But listen: if you really want to use the same gimmick as another oc, maybe ask first? Instead of blantantly taking the concept and claiming it your own, making people believe it's your original idea when it's pretty obvious you just ctrl c ctrl v someone else's oc. And what's the most hurtful is to see that these "bootlegs" are often more popular that the originals.

So I'm coming here to put a quick boundary:

Please, even if I left the fandom, do not shamelessly copy Ranler's concept. If you really want some kind of radioactive oc, please be original. Come up with your own concept and idea, and do not, under any circumstances, copy anything I did, I'm just not ok with that. I've been here since early 2021, been working on my oc for so long, and I would be really upset if someone copy paste his whole concept and design and claim it at their own.

Along these lines, I am also not ok if you "impersonate" Ranler. What I mean by that is, I'm not ok if you roleplay as him, or create a blog acting as him (example: I left the fandom but you still want a Ranler onceler blog, so you make one yourself). It makes me really uncomfortable. I don't really think anyone would be THAT attached to him, since I got lot of hate when I first made him, but tbh I'm just writing all that as a "I warned you" if I see anyone copy my stuff and use it as their own. Don't cry if I DM you saying you copied me. Like I said, this fandom is so tiny you CAN'T pretend it's a coincidence, it's simply impossible, and it makes me really uncomfortable to see some of my friends' concepts are being shamelessly ripped off and they somehow get more popular [isnt it funny how the 2021/2022 wave felt excluded and our concepts disliked but now so many people copy them? Crazy]

Anyway, that was just me writing down my boundaries. If you read this, I really hope you understand. And if you're reading this and copied someone's oc, I really hope you reconsider what you are doing, and maybe ask the original owner if they are ok with it, and do not be upset if they tell you to stop, you should respect people's boundaries, and you'll always be at fault for shamelessly copying an idea someone spent months or more writing.

-grem

[loumands]

I blocked this anon but i wanted to use it as an example of a few things i feel it embodies very well:

1) The treatment of abuse and sa victims in this fandom is absolute garbage. People i follow are generally lovely but outside of them there are so many fans who have fucked up ideas of how abuse works and don't have any genuine sympathy for victims. I already noticed it when the show was airing and some fans mocked others who dared to have a strong reaction to hyperrealistic domestic abuse depicted in the show, like what did you expect from a show about blood-drinking monsters you're so fragile etc., as if fantasy violence that is distinctly imaginary and dv that is a very real existing destructive thing were in any way comparable. It shows as constant excusing and erasing of Lestat's actions and victim blaming against Louis and Claudia because people think only if you're perfect you can be a real victim when in reality anyone can be abused and it doesn't have anything to do with their moral character. I feel the way this fandom treats abuse victims is regularly rude and dismissive. If this anon is an abuse victim themselves like they claim it just makes it sadder because i would never talk another victim in this way and i did nothing to warrant a response like this

2) As this anon makes abudantly clear, the earlier Jonah discourse didn't really have much to do with Jonah or his relationship with Louis or any genuine analysis about the show, but some fans' enthusiastic desire to find more flaws in Louis to bring him down a peg and make him appear more evil so that other characters' actions would appear less awful. By 'other characters' i mean mainly Lestat because lets be real it's almost always the Lestat fans, and usually (white) book fans, doing that because they can't accept that the show unlike books doesn't act like the sun shines out Lestat's ass, so they need to find ways to make Lestat and Louis more equal in their shittiness so that Louis would be less of a victim in their relationship (because again, they imagine person's innocence and goodness define how much they're a victim). It's so stupid for many reasons but especially because Louis is already a very flawed character in canon! And Louis fans are usually the first ones to acknowledge this like i've seen close to zero Louis fans acting like he's a saint, his flawedness is a part of why we find him so interesting. He was a pimp exploiting women and in the present day he lives obscenely rich in a city built on slavery paying poor migrant workers to drink from them. You don't need to make up additional theories of him being a sexual predator to validate yourself. And you definitely don't need to insist a headcanon you made up based on one ambiguous line is actually irrefutable canon and other fans are abuse apologists when not agreeing with you. Good lord

3) Last but not least, going back to the first two; some people in this fandom have some very weird and harmful ideas about sexual abuse and are not taking it seriously enough. It left a bad taste in my mouth how many people acted like the whole Louis/Jonah thing was some smug "gotcha" moment and talking about in humorous or performative "oh i'm so shocked" way. I also found out there are alarmingly many people in this fandom who think someone in their late 20s having sex with a 16 year isn't sexual abuse. I'm asking everyone who thinks that to unfollow and block me. I guess that line of thinking is predictable considering how deeply the books are entreched in pedophilia and rape apologia so that many people who are big fans of them are going share Rice's deranged opinions. This is one of the fandoms where i'm happy that it's going to expand and have more and more non book readers who are capable of taking their lestat and rice goggles off, and the shitty section of old fandom will get more and more inconsequential

[dinsdjrn]

fake

Let me be clear. I wasn’t going to respond to this because I simply didn’t care that you felt the need to try and bring me down while playing a fun ask game. 

I told a few friends I received this and they were outraged. Which is probably exactly what you wanted. I’m not mad or angry or upset. My response was “worse things have happened to me than someone hiding behind the anonymous button to bully me”. I don’t care that you felt the need to send this, I just wanted to show that this behaviour is NOT okay. And lately it feels like so many people are receiving messages with intentions of being hurtful that it is creating a toxic space. 

You curate your own experience, if you feel I am not for you I take no offence to that. You can unfollow me, because someone else will find my blog and connect with me and my stories and personality and those are the people I would like following me. 

So if you sent this thinking you’re getting a reaction out of me. You’re not. I am setting an example of you to show that this toxic cyberbullying is alive and well in this fandom space and I feel sorry for those that feel the need to participate in it. I would like to further say it is not okay and anon hate in the future will be blocked and reported for bullying.  

This next line is affirmation for myself, for the split second you let me believe you. I am honest and genuine and kind to a fault. I know that about myself, it is one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses, but you are not welcome to take advantage of that or try and bully that out of me.  

Please consider taking some time to self reflect and see that you’re attacking someone who is harmlessly trying to create a community space where we all know and love similar things. I hope in future you receive everything that you deserve and find ways to act kindly to those around you. 

[ectogeo-rebubbles]

Love your fandom ask game:

5, 8, 25

Hi, anon, thanks for the ask! Sorry the response is so late haha! (love your fandom ask game)

5. something you see in fics a lot and love

I still lose my mind every single time that either Garak OR Bashir thinks that his love is unrequited, but then his brain EXPLODES when he learns that the other actually reciprocates. Never ever gets old. Get loved, idiot!!!!!!! <3 I also really love when Garak pretends to be/imagines himself to be all suave and chill, the very picture of restraint, despite the fact that Julian is actually effortlessly making him weak in the knees, unraveling him completely. And of course there is the very very very very very very good fandom consensus about Garak having a cloaca and retractable dick, tinsnip we owe you everything.

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

Siskarak!!! I know there's not as many siskarak scenes in the show and it's definitely hard to figure out the timing of it and how such a ship would affect/interact with Garashir, but STILL, how are there only 19 fics on ao3? T_T Also, I feel like it's pretty widely acknowledged that Garak has a bit of a thing for Sisko (that one scene in Profit and Loss), but fewer people seem to recognize/remember that Sisko gives some of that flirty energy right back sometimes! (Sisko's scene with simulation!Garak in The Search part 2, that scene where Garak appeals to Sisko to let him go to the Gamma Quadrant in Broken Link, Sisko making Garak measure him in The Way of the Warrior and clearly enjoying that little charade...)

Anyway, even Sisko and Garak's platonic dynamic is very interesting and delicious to me, and I just think that fandom should maybe go rewatch their scenes together and then include some of that energy in the background of fics whenever possible. As a treat. <3

25. a piece of advice for taking care of yourself in fandom spaces

If there's a ship or character or fandom that annoys you, even (or perhaps ESPECIALLY) if it only annoys you for extremely petty reasons, filter it out or block/unfollow whoever's posting it. All of this also applies to me, feel free to block/unfollow/filter me, if I start to annoy you!!! I'm serious! This is so much healthier than resenting every time someone posts about a thing you don't like and stewing over it and eventually making up a narrative in your head about how the thing is Inherently Bad to justify your dislike of it. Anyway, I actually also sometimes filter out posts about fandoms for media that I genuinely LIKE, when I can tell I'm becoming oversaturated with hearing about it, and I highly recommend that practice too, that has def saved me from growing to dislike things that I otherwise enjoyed. XD

[bluepriestess]

Hi so I felt like I needed to be more forward with some things as of late that have been bugging me;

I do not care if people want to fuck Joshy graham (or any other villain characters in general) but you need to make sure you are not glossing over the bad shit he’s done. Do not uwu-ify him or the legion or mormonism, whose morals/values the legion was built upon. That is a hard boundary for me, and if I see anyone doing that, I will be unfollowing.

There is a difference between ‘letting people enjoy things’ and turning the other eye at someone fetishizing shit that has caused REAL LIFE PEOPLE harm. This is an issue that hits close to home as many people in my life are ex-mormons, so I’m not fucking around right now.

Also another thing, anyone that is still turning a blind eye towards the crypto terf fascist(s) in our community is not a friend of mine, hard stop. I do not fuck with people who are still letting these kind of fucking scum of the earth shitheads into the FO fandom and just letting them exist here.

I am drawing a line in the sand now, and if you can’t hang with my boundaries, then please unfollow/block as you see fit because that is what I plan on doing from now on.

So yeah, thanks for coming to my Lex talk.

[ungrateful-cyborg]

I've seen yet another post today about how nobody reblogs art on Tumblr but the thing I wonder about is: when was the last time the people who complain soft-blocked* their inactive followers to have an accurate idea of who's still there?

I’ve seen so many people complain about it who, also, never send asks to other people anymore nor tag them and basically just stopped initiating interactions once they had reached a comfortable visibility...

Do they take into account that a lot of their followers probably just aren’t on Tumblr anymore? Or still are but in another fandom with another blog? And that if they don't actively reach out to others there'll be fewer people who will find their blog?

Because while Tumblr has gained users lately, it’s also lost a lot in the past years due to the porn ban.

(Tumblr’s peak in users number was, from memory, in 2012. Ten years ago.)

*block then unblock so force them to unfollow

[zeroducklings]

important stuff for new followers

Idk why but lately I've been having an influx of new followers - a lot of them are likely my degenerate twitter friends (I love you, you know who you are) whose handles I don't immediately recognize cause I have a shit memory. Remember that tumblr added this feature that basically hides mature labelled posts, and also keeps forcing the mature label on me even for random stuff. If you wanna see my posts you have to manually allow mature content to show on your dashboard (it's in your profile settings) or basically you're gonna miss out on the fun lmao.

BUT ALSO!

it's too many new people for me to screen all of them, so for everyone who followed me and doesn't already know me, please keep in mind a few important caveats:

I REBLOG THINGS MOST PEOPLE CONSIDER NASTY (including but not limited to fictional incest, rape, abuse, dark ships, big age gaps, weird kinks, gross stuff in general).

I am queer as fuck, polyamorous, and a bitch who does their own thing & is interacting with fandom stuff cause real life sucks. It is not in my interest to directly engage with fandom discourse because I don't have the energy for it, but my stance is that if you can't make a difference between reality and fiction, and you feel the personal need to attack people who dabble in content that makes you feel uncomfortable, block me ASAP because sure as fuck I'm gonna reblog and post things that make your delicate ass uncomfortable.

I don't bother writing out under every post the classic "I don't condone this in real life!1" because I feel it's unnecessary - I assume that who follows me has enough critical thinking skills to not need a reminder, but in case you do you can have it here: I don't condone any of the fucked up shit I post/reblog in real life, this is fiction, we're just having fun. Again if you don't manage to grasp this then please kindly block me.

Last but not least - this blog really hates capitalism, terfs, swerfs, all flavors of queerphobes, ableists and exclusionists of any kind.

If any of the aforementioned bothers you on any level, do unfollow/block me and let's all keep conducting our peaceful existences away from each other. I don't want to interact with you as much as you don't want to interact with me; I don't want to expose you to stuff which might make you uncomfortable, and I don't want to expose the people I follow and whose stuff I reblog to your eyes.

Everyone else, please stay as frickin handsome as you currently are and enjoy the rest of your weekend ♥

[99fandomproblems]

Any tips for carving out your own space in a small fandom while avoiding negativity? The new fandom I want to get into only has about 50 people but there's a vocal minority active in the tag that just complain constantly. I don't get why they stick around when everything in canon makes them miserable? What's worse is they seem to be the only people who ship my OTP which is putting me off it a bit.

Hi, Nonnie!

Yes, I feel you on that one. It can be frustrating when fans (or antis!) post their hate into the tag. It would be better manners to create a separate and different tag for hate-posting, especially if it's for a ship. Unfortunately many fans will not do this, I've noticed it happening a lot more on Tumblr lately, so we too must adapt in order to curate our space online.

My advice to you, Nonnie, will be Tumblr focused, but most of this advice can be applied to other platforms too. I'll also have some links for you at the end of this post for further fandom tips!

First things first:

You are not obliged to follow anyone

This means that no matter how many active fans there are in your fandom, you don't have to follow all of them. You don't have to follow any of them, actually.

Perhaps you would enjoy having a fandom blog for positive-posting, and only follow blogs which are drama free (art, gif posting, imagines, and the like). This means when you log into that account, your timeline will be relatively calm. In time, perhaps you can follow some more personal fan blogs within the fandom, or you can do what many of us do and have a side-blog for followbacks.

Having a separate personal blog can be a great way to curate your experience. Log into your personal for chatting, or following other fans (which is your choice, you're still not obliged to follow anyone you don't care for, whatever the reason), and log into another account for other fandom content: anonymous or a side blog, your choice.

That's how a lot of fans use Tumblr, it's quite common to do this. Some fans are open about their side blogs and some keep it anonymous. You can decide which works best for you, Nonnie.

The reason I suggest this method, mainly, is because Tumblr as a platform isn't that great for filtering out content (or users) that you don't want to see. I can filter words or phrases of things I want off my dash but... they still pop up on my dash. It's annoying especially when someone I follow starts spamming content that I don't like, or from a user I don't care for. My only options are a wall of filtered posts on my dash, or to unfollow, which sometimes causes friction when it's a mutual.

You'll have to weigh up which options work best for you, Nonnie. Some fans don't mind seeing the filtered posts on their dash. It's totally your call. Tumblr will let you filter out the tags on posts, and also let you filter out words or phrases in the body of the post as well (often better when someone is bad at tagging).

So whichever options you choose for setting up your Tumblr blog(s), once they're set up you then have interactions with other fans. As previously stated, you are not obliged to follow anyone you don't want to. If you don't like their posting content or don't like them personally, it doesn't matter because the end result is the same: you don't have to follow them.

You don't have to interact with them either. You can choose to respond minimally to anyone who follows you, or simply block blogs from the start (especially those who hate-post into your ship tag) for an easier life.

Filter, block, don't engage or keep engagement to a minimum. Don't feed the trolls. Turn off anon asks, or turn off asks completely if and when necessary.

Nonnie, this advice can be applied to other platforms, such as ao3. Put comment moderation onto your works, turn off anon comments if needed. Restrict their access to you, only engage in the content you want to see, only respond to the blogs/fans you want to, and do not give the negative posters any airtime.

Focus on what you love, ignore and block the rest.

For me personally, my happiest fandom experiences are when I can browse peacefully and absorb nice posts. This experience gets my writer brain working and it helps me think about the content I want to post or write. I'm sure other fans have a different experience, some fans want the daily chat and the arguments and the hate-posting, but that's them and not me. Our needs are not the same.

Only you can figure out what works best for you, Nonnie. Give the two separate blogs a try, and see which one brings you the most joy!

I hope it works out for you, I really do. You deserve to be here, you deserve space to enjoy your ship. Carve out your space, Nonnie. Chances are that there's more similar minded fans waiting for a blog like yours to come along!

I have some other posts about navigating fandom space which may come in useful, either now or later on:

Avoiding trolls:

Niche fandom tips:

Annoying fans in the ship tag:

[likehandlingroses]

I have tried to disengage from as much of the fandom rift as I can—I believe that is often the best solution

but “disengagement” is not an emotionally neutral act, it doesn’t come without consequences

I have Loved Thomas/Richard for years. If I put the movie on or read some of my favorite fics, I still would! I still do.

But I knew from late February that the best way for me to deal with the coming conflict was to disengage. Unfollow. Block, even. And the thing about disengagement is you have to do it All The Time. You have to decide again and again to do that rather than confront.

There are Thomas/Richard fans who have defended their right to provoke negative/argumentative engagement in the broader Thomas fandom, and that is totally fine! But you are asking people to make a choice when you do that. And one of those choices is to disengage from what you love.

I don’t want to write any more Thomas/Richard content not because of anything in canon, but because not for one second do I want to court the kind of comments I feel I would receive, the Audience that has a clear and unapologetic animus towards a ship/character I ALSO enjoy.

People had some weird arguments and issues with Richard last film, but nothing like this. And I have to wonder if people have considered how they would feel if these arguments (of which many apply to Richard actually) were turned on them so aggressively and persistently right from the instant we found out Richard Existed As A Gay Character. If they had been effectively forced to disengage from their enjoyment of Edward or Chris or Jimmy or Philip.

From my vantage point, I just can’t believe any of it has been worth it.

[sxperflxity]

*    knowing  your  partner  well  can  potentially  make  writing  a  lot  easier,    repost,    do  not  reblog.

NAME:     jamie. preferably jay. PRONOUNS:   she / her. PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:     tumblr ims are absolutely fine. if we’re plotting or we become friends, then i am definitely good with discord, also. you can add me at jamie#1380 - I have issues adding people on discord, as I can’t for some reason. NAME OF MUSE(s):     Way too many to list, please don’t ask lol. EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):   I honestly don’t know. i rp’d on and off on the wb boards, myspace, livejournal, other places, before coming to tumblr lol. probably since the early 2000′s. BEST EXPERIENCE:   It’s kind of sad but I don’t really think I have a best experience lmao. I made a best friend years ago, but my memory is shit and some of those memories are shrouded in depression and heartache. If anything, I’d probably say I really enjoyed my first group rp in the wrestling fandom lol. RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  Well, there’s kind of a few, but I tend to give people three chances, even then. I guess, overall, I’m not into the purity culture of the rpc. I won’t block/unfollow unless you’re incredibly rude about it in your posts/tags though, because I consider that a form of shading/vagueing. And, also, I have PTSD about being close friends with rp partners and then them blocking me and trashing me with other people for no actual reason other than petty jealousy, so I’m not a big fan of the whole ‘blocking people and not explaining why you’re doing so’, especially if you are considered friends or talk out of character a lot. While you don’t have to explain to people you don’t really know, I do find it unfair and cruel to block friends without at least an explanation. MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:    I love all three, to be honest. I prefer fluff over everything, or angst that leads into a bucket-full of fluff, because if something is too angsty it can actually affect my mood. So fluff and then angst. As for smut - I enjoy it, if we have an established ship. Haven’t written it lately though. PLOTS OR MEMES:   Again, both. I enjoy memes and I enjoy plotting - or memes turned into plots. So definitely both. LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:     Honestly, medium replies. I can never focus for too long on long replies and too short of a reply is nice sporadically, but not too often. Hence, medium. BEST TIME TO WRITE:    I’m sporadic in general because of my work hours, but on my days off, any time is fine as long as I have something playing in the background - like right now, I’ve been binging doctor who. ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):     I have over 1000 muses on this blog lmao so uh, yeah, I’m sure there are some that I’m like and some that I’m not like. Stolen from: @galaxycrxss originally, then i took break, saw @fleetadmrl’s post and remembered to finish this lmao. Tagging: @crispyblonde @murkyhazed @peacefaithed @malaprt @malbcrtha and whomever else wants to do it.

[crossovereddie]

I just wanted to let you know I appreciate all your posts about how the fandoms been treating criticism lately. People have been posting so much of that “don’t like don’t watch” nonsense that it was starting to feel like I was seeing more complaints about criticism of the show on my dash than the things those people actually like about 6a. I’ve had to unfollow so many people who post content that I otherwise like because it was really starting to make me feel unwanted in this fandom space. So yeah, thanks for posting about all this. It’s cathartic to hear someone say this and I hope any backlash you’re getting because of it isn’t too trying.

Thank you 🖤

I agree. I see more of people complaining about the criticism than the actual criticism itself 😂 and I get the unfollowing thing. There’s a few blogs I’ve only unfollowed not fully blocked bc I still like their content and wanna support their creations but I just don’t agree with their takes.

And I don’t care about the backlash or the anons. I think it’s funny or just plain dumb 99% of the time.