#i haven’t had any plans to make any smut anytime soon!!

[chuluoyi]

Hi Chu! I really love you're fics especially those fluffs abt Gojo since it's always those smuts that are always there😭I caan't wait for more fics you'll soon be making🙏

awww🥺 sooo sweet i’m melting thank youuu for loving them!!🤧

[sadhours]

Wicked Sensation

part seventeen // billy hargrove x f!reader

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve | part thirteen | part fourteen | part fifteen | part sixteen | part seventeen

a/n: I’m going through a bit of family stuff but writing is my outlet so i don’t think it should be affected but to play it safe, this is going to be the hardest week of my life and I might get to requests slowly and post chapters slowly but maybe I’ll post more who knows. Anyways, thank you all so much for reading. I appreciate you all endlessly.

word count: 6k

warnings: 18+ minors dni, hey Eddie still exists!, Neil being Neil, pregnancy, smut, oral (m receiving), p in v

tag list: @blue-eyed-lion @bbyhargrove @sweet-villain @actuallyspencerreid @trapistani @sierrahhh @likeanimagepassingby2

Okay, so maybe it’s a bit ridiculous. The man has put a baby in you and is moving in to your parents house, you shouldn’t have to devise a plan to get him to propose to you. You never even pictured yourself in this role before but with all the pregnancy hormones and the devotion you feel towards Billy, the prospect of being his wife and the mother of his kids is insanely appealing. Perhaps this was all Mary’s fault. She’d put the idea in your head and now it was all you could think about.

That’s how you’re awake at the ass crack of dawn with her, making a lunch for Billy to take to his first day at your dads shop. You think that maybe if you start doing wife type things, Billy will realize how badly he wants to marry you.

“You wake up this early every morning?” you ask, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

Mary smiles wide as she pours you a cup of coffee, “How do you think I get anything done?”

“There’s like more than 12 hours left of today, that seems like too much time,” you complain as you hear footsteps down the hall.

You turn to see a sleepy, messy haired Billy with an unlit cigarette perched between his lips already. That same familiar feeling warming your chest and making you swoon whenever you see him. He walks into the kitchen, pulling the cigarette from his mouth to lean down and peck your cheek.

“Morning,” he grumbles to Mary and reaches for the coffee pot.

“Oh, here!” you cheer, extending out the cup Mary had just poured for you.

Billy takes it, smiling at you, “Thanks, darlin. Care to join me?”

“You haven’t quit smoking?” Mary gives you a look of shock.

Shamefully, you shake your head. You were going to schedule an appointment today for the doctors and figured you’d ask him about your options for that. You’d been smoking since you were thirteen and weren’t sure if you could quit and Billy wasn’t going to anytime soon so you’d always have the temptation.

“They’re Lights,” Billy offers, “It’s something.”

Again, your heart swells. It’s a small thing but you love how he defends you at any opportunity. Mary gives you both a disappointed look as you follow Billy out to the backyard. He lights the cigarette and takes a long drag before handing it to you.

“We can share,” he says, “At least you’re cutting back.”

You nod and lean your shoulder into his, “Thank you. I feel like you’re the only person who gets me.”

He kisses your temple but doesn’t say anything. You’d like to think you’re the only person who gets him. Billy’s still not good at talking about his feelings. He shows you how he feels through touch, and maybe that’s enough. For now, at least. If you’re gonna start a family with him, you’d like that to change.

He takes another long drag from the cigarette and speaks up, “I’ve got to get my things today. If there is anything left. You willing to make that trip with me when I get back?”

You think that means he feels safe with you. With a soft smile, you tell him yes. You know you two have to tell Neil that you’re pregnant, or at least, you think you should. See, Billy hadn’t told you about his dad finding the Polaroids of you and you still thought that Neil liked you, so you think maybe he’ll be excited that you’re pregnant. Billy knows better and is dreading telling his dad. In fact, he doesn’t really want to tell him, doesn’t want Neil to be a grandfather at all. He knows Neil will try to control his kid since he can no longer control Billy.

“Are you excited to work for my dad?” you ask.

Billy nods, he genuinely is. He likes working on cars, figures it’ll pay enough for you guys to find an apartment in a few months. He is thinking about marriage, but he’s afraid of it. Having a child together isn’t enough to make sure either of you stay, he’s learned that. He’s also worried you might run off into another man’s arms at the first sign of trouble. It’s a fear he can’t shake.

“Yeah. You looking for jobs today?” he asks as he stumps the cigarette out in the ashtray.

Sighing, you shrug. You hadn’t planned for that but you know you should. Billy shouldn’t have to have all the financial responsibility but you had no idea what you would do. Working at your dads shop could easily turn into a career but you didn’t have that luxury. Your options were limited with only being able to work until the baby was born.

“I suppose I should,” you tell him as he stands and helps you up.

-

You pick up the phone and dial a number you’ve had memorized since grade school but you don’t remember the last time you called it.

“Hello?” Eddie’s voice rings through.

“Hi,” you say meekly.

Eddie scoffs, “You remembered I exist.”

You lay on your mattress, looking up at the ceiling as guilt drips into your system. Billy kept you so distracted from everyone and then when you were broken up shortly, Steve took up most your time. Eddie wasn’t supportive of you and Billy and selfishly, you decided Billy was most important. He still was, even more so now that you were carrying his child but you and Eddie had so much history that it would be cruel to never talk to him again.

“I’m sorry… I haven’t been fair to you,” you say softly.

“I expected you to call when I heard Billy dumped your ass but you never did,” Eddie replies, “Guess you couldn’t bear to hear an ‘I told you so’.”

“We got back together,” you mumble, “But I should’ve called. I don’t want to have to chose between the two of you.”

“Then don’t.”

“Eddie, you’re the one who made me feel like I had to in the first place,” you explain, “Billy has no issues with you.”

He’s silent and your skin crawls. You didn’t want to lose him but you understood if Eddie wanted nothing to do with you.

“I just don’t want to have to deal with it,” he says finally, “If you guys are constantly breaking up and getting back together, I’m never gonna come around to the idea of him.”

“I don’t see that happening,” you reveal, “He’s moving in and I’m pregnant, so…”

“You’re what?” Eddie’s voice sounds shocked.

“Yeah. I’m having Billy Hargrove’s baby.”

“Jesus Christ,” he exhaled, “I tell you what, I didn’t see that one happening.”

“Yeah, we didn’t either,” you chuckle.

“And he didn’t run away? He’s moving in with you? Are you guys engaged or something?”

“No! Well, not yet. I don’t know if he wants to get married,” you admit, shyly.

Eddie laughs, “He’s moving in with you and you guys are having a baby. Why the hell would he skip marrying you?”

“I don’t know. Marriage is like a big deal, a big commitment,” you say and Eddie’s laughing harder, you picture him doubling over from it.

“Why are you laughing?” you pout, feeling like you’re missing out on some joke.

Once his breathing calms down, he starts, “He’s all fine and dandy knocking you up and you’re scared he can’t commit.”

Eddie starts laughing again and you really don’t see why it’s hard to believe. You and Billy both know that kids and marriage don’t keep people together. Eddie should know that too, but here he is laughing hysterically.

“It’s not funny,” you whine and finally, he sighs.

“You’re right,” he deadpans, “it’s stupid. So I have Hellfire tonight but if you’re not busy later this week, we should hang out.”

“Can I bring Billy?” you ask, twirling the phone chord around your finger.

Another sigh and he says, “Yeah… guess I should get to know him if he’s gonna be the dad of my god child.”

You’re heart swells, but you deep down knew Eddie would forgive you. You guys were practically family.

-

Dale holds out the light blue uniform shirt to Billy, tells him they can get him an embroidered patch soon and Billy thanks him. Having a name on the shirt was a privilege at the shop in San Diego and Billy never earned it. At your dads shop, it was something everyone typically got from the first day. He wanted his employees to feel important, like they belonged on a team.

Billy pulls the shirt over his white tank top and starts buttoning it up, eyes scanning over your dads office. It’s in disarray. Tools, papers and empty paper coffee cups placed sporadically. On his desk, is a photo of you and your brother. Billy picks it up and looks closer. He suspects it’s from a past trip to Florida because your hair is shorter.

“You’ll have to come out with us from now on,” Dale says.

“What? Sorry,” he places the frame back on the desk.

“Florida. For Christmas, you’ll have to come with us,” your dad explains and Billy feels weird but not in a bad way. Christmas wasn’t ever a special holiday since his mom left. In fact, they didn’t really even celebrate it before his dad met Susan. The only thing he’d looked forward to was a card from his grandparents. However, you talked about Christmas excitedly, you’d told Billy it was your third favorite; after Halloween and Thanksgiving of course. It must be that it was fun in Florida, that holidays with your family weren’t as empty or angry as the ones Billy was used to.

“Yeah,” he says, smiling at the thought, “Wonder what the surfs like down there.”

Your dad laughs, “The waters a lot choppier than California but I imagine you’ll have fun.” He gestures to the door, “Let me give you a tour, real quick.”

Billy listens closely as your dad explains the routine of the shop and what Billy’s primary responsibilities will be before sending him in with Darla from accounting and Billy recognizes the name when your dad says it. He walks into the little office and is met with a member of his fan club, one of the housewives that would hang out around the pool.

“Billy!” she smiles wide, “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, hi,” he says as he walks up to her desk.

She keeps looking over Billy’s shoulder, causing him to turn and look.

“Oh, don’t worry,” she says, “We’re alone.”

He looks back at her with his brows furrowed. Alone? he thinks and his eyes dart down to the worn romance novel sitting on her desk. She stands and he shakes his head, “Oh, no.”

“No?” she looks disappointed.

Billy chuckles, “Dale just hired me, he sent me in here so I could fill out paperwork.”

Her disappointment evolves back into excitement, “You’re working here now?”

“Yep!” he chirps as he sits at the plastic chair across from her desk. “Saving for the baby and all.”

“Baby?” she asks and Billy revels in the defeated tone.

“Yeah, that’s why Dale’s giving me the job. His daughter and I are having a baby,” he puts his elbow on his knees and leans forward.

“Congratulations,” she says as she slams a clipboard on the desk. “Just fill this out quickly and I’ll have you in the books.”

“Awesome,” he grabs it, “Thanks.”

-

Billy takes the long way home, chain-smoking and listening to an entire cassette even though it’s typically a fifteen minute drive from the shop to home. He just needs to clear his head and his favorite way to do so is to take the road that stretches all around Hawkins and back. It’s mostly fields and farms, but it’ll take him right where he’s needs to go and he likes that it’s empty roads. He figures his alone time will be limited from here on out.

When he finally gets home, you’re voicing concerns. They’re in the form of questions, he knows you were worried but he can’t help but feel a bit suffocated. He knows these feelings are because of his looming fear of seeing his dad but he can’t help but lash out.

“I just took a drive,” he bites, “Can you chill out? It’s not even late.”

You stare back up at him, a little stunned but you press your palm on his chest and rub in circles, “I’m sorry.”

Billy doesn’t expect that reaction and his first response is to push you away, but that’s Neil getting in his head. He sighs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you to his chest and tucking his face into your neck.

“No, I’m sorry,” he mumbles into your hair, “Just not looking forward to going over there.”

Your hands circle around his waist and you squeeze him, “I’ll be with you. We’ll make it quick, just grab as much as we can and leave.”

He pulls back and hooks his finger under your chin, tilting your head back as he leans in to press his lips to yours. It’s chaste but lets you know he trusts you. And anytime his lips are on you, it heats up your thighs and leaves you a little breathless.

“Shall we get it over with then?” Billy grumbles though his tone suggests he really doesn’t want to.

You lace your fingers and pull him out the door. He allows you to lead him across the street and then the two of you just stand at the door. Billy feels as if he has to knock, like he hasn’t just spent a little less than a year living in this house. His knuckles tap against the wood as he prays Max answers the door. She doesn’t.

“It’s about damn time,” Neil spews as he stares at Billy, eyes dark. He eyes dart to you and then back to his son, “Needed your safety blanket, did ya?”

Your blood boils so you squeeze Billy’s hand tighter, “We’re just here to get some of his stuff.”

You figure you’ll do the talking, maybe make this a little easier. Neil opens the door wide, stepping back and you can see Susan peeking her head out of the kitchen. Billy tugs you inside, making a beeline for his bedroom door. Upon opening it, Billy sees that Neil has sold all his stuff and all that’s left is his stereo system and two packed boxes on the floor. His face heats up, he wants to scream at his dad but it’s a losing battle. He knows what Neil will say. He bought everything that was in there. Billy knows because the stereo is still there, it was the first thing Billy bought when he got his first ever paycheck.

He heaves a sigh and then looks over to you, “Can you manage the two boxes? It won’t hurt the… ya know.”

“Billy, I’m like maybe a few weeks along, it’s a little tadpole in there,” you say and then your eyes widen, realizing that you’ve just admitted you were pregnant.

You turn around to see Neil standing in the doorway, looking dumbfounded.

“Fuck,” Billy curses, bringing his hand to rub his brow.

“What was that?” Neil asks, stepping into the room.

Billy heaves a sigh and turns to his dad, “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” he scoffs, “Sounded to me like your little girlfriend just said she’s pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” Susan’s voice rings through the hall and she hurries to stand in the doorway.

Billy doesn’t say anything, he just starts stacking the speakers onto the cassette deck.

“You really fucked up,” Neil laughs sinisterly, the sound startling you and causing bile to rise up your throat. You swallow it down and go to grab the boxes but Neil stops you, “I’ll get the boxes. You shouldn’t be doing any heavy lifting.”

“No, it’s fine,” you try but he’s already picking them up with ease and heading for the door.

“Shit,” Billy says, grabbing the stereo and following after his dad.

You eye Susan curiously before walking out behind your boyfriend. Neil’s already at your doorstep when you get outside and Billy’s quickly shuffling across the street after him.

“Dad,” he calls out.

Neil bangs on the door and your dad opens it. Your hearts in your chest as you run after them. You have no idea what Neil’s plan is but you’re scared he’s gonna deck your dad right in the face.

“Neil,” your dad says, opening the door wider to let him in. You and Billy right behind him.

“Go ahead and just set those down anywhere,” Mary says to him, perched over the kitchen counter.

You shut the door behind you, letting out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“Dad,” Billy pleads again, but nothing follows. He doesn’t know what he’s asking Neil not to do.

“So my sons knocked your daughter up, has he?” Neil says after dropping the boxes on the floor.

This is all your fault. The guilt rises in your throat and threatens to pour out, you reach to Billy for comfort once he’s set the stereo down.

“It would appear so,” your dad says, leaning against the kitchen table as he looks to Neil casually.

“And you didn’t kill him?” Neil responds, crossing his arms.

Your dad shrugs, “I like the kid.”

Neil chuckles, but it doesn’t sound happy, like he can’t fathom anyone liking his son. He shakes his head, seems defeated and you and Billy both admire your dad.

“Is that all, then?” your dad asks, crossing his arms.

“Well what’s the plan then? When are you getting married?” Neil asks, turning to his son now.

Billy clears his throat and you notice he starts tapping his foot, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Neil scoffs, “Well, boy, you better figure it out. You don’t want to marry her? You should’ve thought that before you did something so damn irresponsible.”

The words sting your chest and your dad moves in front of Billy, physically shielding him from Neil.

“Thanks for stopping by,” your dad says, “We’ll make sure to let you know the plan.”

Billy’s shocked when his dad retreats, through all the years of abuse, he’s never seen his dad give up on a fight. He takes a deep breath when the door slams. Most of all, though, he’s embarrassed. Without a word, he picks the stereo up and lugs it into your room.

“Thank you, dad…” you hug your father, unable to truly express your gratitude.

“Let Billy know that I didn’t only do that for you, I did it for him,” your dad says, a solemn smile on his face.

You nod, squeezing him once more before trailing to your room to see Billy still holding the stereo. He has no idea where to put it, you have too much stuff. You put your hand on his shoulder, “I’ll give mine to my brother. Yours is better anyways.”

Billy heaves a sigh, remaining silent as he watches you unplug your stereo and gather the speakers. You leave to put it in your brothers room, saying a quiet hello to him when he peers up at you from his book.

“Aw, really?” he sets the book down and sits up.

You place it on his dresser, “Yeah, Billy’s is better than this one.”

“Thanks, sis,” he says, springing up from his bed, “I don’t have any cassettes.”

“I’ll give you some,” you offer, placing your hands on your hips as you look at him.

“Was that his dad?” he asks, biting his nail.

You slap his hand from his mouth, not wanting him to form the habit, “Yeah.”

“Are you really having a baby?” he asks, a tilt of his head.

You nod, giggling as you ruffle up his hair, “Yeah, you’re gonna be an uncle.”

He grins up at you, “I hope it’s a boy.”

“Billy does too,” you reply, “I hope it’s a girl.”

“Typical,” your brother says, poking at the buttons on the stereo set.

You roll your eyes and head back to your room, noticing Billy’s set up the stereo but he’s no longer in the room. You peer curiously out the door to see him walking up to you with the boxes in his hands. He sets them on the floor and sits in front of them, opening the first up to inspect what Neil wanted him to keep. To his surprise, it’s all the things he's kept of his mothers. His heart aches, wanting so desperately to tell her she’s going to be a grandmother, wanting to tell her everything that’s happened since she left.

“He didn’t throw any of it away,” Billy mumbles in disbelief.

“Is it your moms stuff?” you ask, as you sit beside him.

He hands you a photo, it’s of an infant Billy being held by a beautiful blonde lady. You’d never seen any photos of Billy as a baby.

“Huh,” you say, “So our kids gonna be this cute.”

Billy shoves you playfully, “With any luck, it’ll only have my genes.”

You giggle, happy when this side of Billy makes a resurgence. “I’m hoping and praying.”

He hands you another photo, one of when he’s roughly a year old and he’s standing in front of his mom while holding onto her hands. He’s learning how to walk. You scan over it, smiling back at his mom. “She’s so pretty,” you muse, “You look like her.”

You swear he blushes, “Yeah, she was beautiful.”

He continues pulling the items out, showing you every photo and explaining every random item. Billy visibly relaxes, an easy smile plastered on his face and he’s never looked prettier. You kiss his face, starting at his jaw and all the way up to his hairline.

“Oh! Wait!” You spring up and barrel out of the room, only to return with an empty photo album. You sit back down and hand it to him, “Here, you can put them in here.”

He takes it gratefully and gradually, the two of you fill the photo album. Billy then moves onto the second box. It’s his jewelry and a few clothing items but at the bottom of it, his dirty magazines sit. Billy laughs, pulling them out.

“Why the hell didn’t he just throw these away?”

“Who is he to become between a man and his porn collection?” you tease, pulling the first Penthouse magazine from him.

You start flipping through it, seeing in your peripheral that Billy’s watching you with an amused expression. After flipping a page, Polaroids fall into your lap. You drop the magazine and gather up the photos, blushing when you see they’re of you and Billy. Some raunchier than others.

“You kept these?” you ask, softly.

“How do you think I got through those weeks without ya?” he nudges your shoulder.

You look at him, mouth agape. You’re extremely flattered at the thought of Billy pleasuring himself to photos of you. Granted, half of these, his dick is inside of you but still.

“You jacked off to these?” you ask, lowering your voice.

“Oh, yeah,” he says, grabbing them from your hand and shuffling through them. “This one’s my favorite,” he hands you a Polaroid, it’s one of the day at the lake.

You’re embarrassed as you look down at your body, riding Billy on a towel with your swimsuit top not covering your breasts but pulled to the sides. Then you tilt your head, looking at where your bodies meet and you can see just the tiniest inch of his cock. It is a hot photo and you remember how turned on you got when Billy reached for the camera.

Suddenly, you feel his lips on your neck and then his tongue, wet and hot against your sensitive flesh. You moan softly at the feeling, tilting your head even more to give him access while you continue to look at the photo. He reaches into your pants, cupping you over your underwear and your breath hitches in your throat. He gently moves his fingers, teasing the wetness out of you. The photo flutters out of your grip.

“You like it, too,” he notes, feeling you soak through the thin cotton.

“Uh huh,” you moan, awkwardly spreading your thighs and feeling as the magazines and photos fall from your lap onto the floor.

His hand rises a bit, just to snake into your underwear and his fingertips drag up through folds and stop at your clit. He sucks on your neck, rubbing languid circles against your sensitive bud. You lean back, hands pressing on the floor behind you to keep you upright. Billy’s fingers feel like magic, always do. You ache for him, want to feel him all over. You get frustrated sometimes, wanting him closer even if he’s as close as he can physically be.

“Billy,” you whimper, your arms shaking as you try to hold yourself up but when he slides two fingers inside you, you collapse onto your back and kick your feet out to spread your legs further.

He chuckles, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. He pulls away too quickly, so you cling onto his shirt and pull him back down, feeling his smile into the kiss. You lick against his teeth, still pulling at his shirt. He gives you what you want, licking into your mouth and curling his fingers inside you. Your back arches off the ground, moaning into his mouth. He groans back, his fingers faltering when you reach over to feel his cock straining against his jeans. You’re eager, unbuttoning his jeans and trying to claw them down, but with the way he’s positioned you can’t. He lifts his bum up and helps shove them to his thighs with his free hand. Your fingers wrap around his cock as soon as it’s free, stroking him quickly. He laughs against your mouth.

“Slow down,” he mumbles and you lick his teeth again, groaning in protest but you still listen.

You can hear his breathing and the slick sound of his fingers pumping in and out of your soaking pussy. You swipe your thumb against his tip, feeling his precum bubbling out and you spread it around which earns you a guttural groan from the blonde. You lift your other hand and push him back, leaning yourself over to take him in your mouth. You have to taste. Swirling your tongue around his pulsing head, your hand strokes whatever’s not in your mouth. Billy leans his head back, biting his lip to stifle his moans. If only he’d turned on the stereo when he plugged it in.

Billy’s pulling his hand away only to snake both of them into your hair, propping himself on his knees and pushing you further down on his cock. You’d be pissed about the loss but his pursuit of his own pleasure turns you on more. You position yourself better in front of him, grabbing onto his thighs while you breath through your nose as you take him into your mouth as deep as you can. You bob your head, by the aid of Billy’s grip on your hair as he guides you up and down. You look up to see his eyes meeting yours, mouth slightly agape and his eyes glassy. You can’t help but gag as he reaches the back of your throat and he moans, voice hoarse and just a tad whiny. It makes you squirm, feeling slick dripping down your thighs.

“Fuck,” he whines, as you pull off him with a loud pop, drool stringing between your lips and the head of his cock.

You stick your tongue out, eyes wide up at him and he wraps his fingers around his cock as he slaps it against your tongue. Your lips tug up before you wrap them around his head again, sucking hard and then pulling off again. Billy’s pushing you down into your back, then. He rips your leggings and panties off before following suit with your top and bra. As he’s lining himself up with your center, you start unbuttoning his work shirt and pushing it off his shoulders, the sleeves catching at his elbows. He gets the hint, smiling when he pulls it off and then grabs the hem of his tank top, bringing it over his head and tossing it aside. He presses his palm against your chest, easing you back down. He grabs his dick again and presses his tip through your folds, shaking it against your clit. You gasp, hands squeezing your own breasts.

“Give it to me, Billy,” you beg, “please.”

He smirks and then plunges his cock into you. It stings slightly as he bottoms out, his hand coming up to dig his fingers into your thigh. Your eyes flutter shut and he brings his other hand to grab your jaw.

“Look at me,” he orders and you obey, eyelids flying open to see his gorgeous, flushed face looking back at you.

Billy shoves his fingers in your mouth and you suck on them lazily, moaning around them as he rocks his hips against you. He pumps in and out of you, deep and slow as his thumb digs into your cheek. It’s crazy, with his fingers shoved in your mouth and his cock balls deep in you, all you can think is how fucking much you love him. How you can’t live without him. How you never want to go a day without this.

“Closer,” you mouth around his fingers.

He pulls them out and looks down at you curiously, slowing his thrusts.

“Closer, want you closer,” you plead.

Billy smiles, leaning down and wrapping his arms around you before pulling you up, holding you against his chest. Your arms circle his neck, holding him close while he moves his hips quicker again. You moan softly against his ear, clinging onto him for dear life. His arms tighten around you and you’re thankful for all the working out he does. He’s able to press against your g-spot with every thrust as this angle and you’re quickly coming undone around him. In attempt to help, you writhe against him. His labored breathing followed by small, high pitched moans in your ear pushes you along. You scratch at his upper back, letting him know you’re close and he starts pounding up into you harder. It snaps, the build up of your orgasm falling over the edge and you shake against him, biting his shoulder to quiet the cry you let out.

Billy’s leaning down, resting you on your back and relentlessly thrusting into you. You scratch all the way down his back, overwhelmed with pleasure as you ride out your climax. He freezes, eyes squeezing shut and gritting his teeth as he releases inside of you. You hold onto his face, wrapping your legs around his waist and grinding your hips up against him. He whimpers, hands grabbing onto your hips to pin you down. He collapses his weight on top of you and it’s the most comfortable feeling in the world. You squeeze him in your arms and pepper his neck with kisses.

He finally lifts himself up to his elbows and gazes down at you, curls sticking to his face with sweat. He looks ethereal, always does but more so now than ever.

“I love you,” he whispers, caressing your face.

“I love you, Billy.”

-

Three months of saving and he’s about to burn through it in an instant. Billy peers down at the ring, reading the engraving and second guessing himself. Not about proposing, but about the words he’s chosen.

Forever, Snoopy.

He knows you’ll get it but it feels cheesy and he’s a bit uncomfortable with that side of him showing. He knows he shouldn’t feel embarrassed around you. Besides, girls like that kind of mushy, romantic stuff. Billy has a hard time with being perceived as anything other than tough and cool so he tells himself you’ll think the ring is cool and that it was very cool of him to reference how you met and totally not tacky and cheesy.

It burns a hole in his pocket as he walks into the restaurant, seeing you sitting there with your dad, brother and Mary and wonders if proposing in such a public setting is a bad idea. Oh, God, what if you say no?

He feels his lunch threaten to make a reappearance and he redirects his path to the bathroom. He locks the door behind him and looks at himself in the mirror. He wore his best shirt, the maroon one and he’s only buttoned the last two buttons. He shimmies out of his leather jacket, suddenly feeling too hot. He rests it on the counter and then turns the cold water on. He splashes it on his face and then takes a deep breath. Why would you say no? There’s no possible timeline in which you say no to marrying him.

Hell, he’d asked your dad this morning and if he doubted your acceptance he would’ve said something like ‘Sure, Billy, spend all of the tiny bit you’ve saved to move out of my house to get rejected by my daughter’ instead of “Yes, of course you have my blessing.”

Billy takes a deep breath and exits the bathroom, only to turn around and retrieve his jacket. Nerves be damned, he was gonna marry you. He arrives to the table and you stand to greet him, his eyes darting to the tiny baby bump more obvious than it’s ever been in the tight dress you’re wearing. He kisses you, hand pressing to your hip as he does so.

“Hi, baby,” you say to him with those dreamy eyes.

“Hi,” he coos back, his nerves subsiding the second your eyes meet. He forgets why he was nervous in the first place. “Sorry, I'm late,” he apologizes to you and then your family, as he sits down.

Your dad gives him a knowing smile and it makes Billy even more nervous. He’s in his own head during the whole dinner, missing questions directed at him. You reach over and squeeze his bicep, asking if he’s alright and Billy just nods.

Then he tells himself he’s got nothing to worry about and maybe right now isn’t the right time to propose. He ignores your dads pointed looks and when you excuse yourself to restroom Billy announces to the table, “I am going to propose just not here.”

“You nervous?” Dale chuckles, sipping his wine.

Billy blushes, “I just… I don’t know, feel like we should be alone.”

Mary reaches in her bag and pulls out the Polaroid camera, “Then you have to take the photo.”

“I can’t do both at the same time,” Billy explains, a little exasperated.

Mary grins, “Why don’t you do it when she gets back? As she walks up, get down on one knee.”

Billy’s eyes widen, thinking about what a spectacle that would be, “God, no. I want to do it when we’re alone.”

“It’s their story, Mary,” your dad says, “Let them write it.”

“Fine,” she grumbles and reaches for her wine.

“I’ll ask for you if you’re scared,” your brother offers Billy earnestly.

Billy pats his back, “Thanks, kid but I’ve got to do this myself.”

You return to the table and raise an eyebrow as they all turn to Billy expectantly, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Billy smiles too wide at you.

And he doesn’t ask, he thinks about it when you’re cuddling before bed that night but he can’t bring himself to do it. He presses kisses against the back of your neck

“You know I love you, right?” he mumbles, almost too quiet for you to hear.

You lean your head back, awkwardly angling your lips to his. He squeezes your waist and kisses back deeply.

“I love you, too Billy. Why are you acting weird?” you turn around to look into his eyes.

“I’m not acting weird,” he argues, but his cheeks feel hot.

“Are you trying to ask for a blow job?” you tease, pushing his hair back.

“I mean…” he laughs, “If you’re offering, I’ll accept.”

“Go to bed,” you giggle and tuck your head in his shoulder.

He’ll ask in the morning, he decides.

[synthetickitsune]

Not A Competition (Maybe) ✧ l.jy & b.jh

Pairing: Lee Jaeyoon x f!reader x Baek Juho Genre: smut Summary: It's hard having two hot best friends because sometimes you just can't choose - and sometimes you don't have to. Not that it makes things any easier when they have a challenge to settle. Word count: 4.9k Warnings: oral (f and m receiving), dry humping

If someone told you the plans you had for tonight few months ago, you’d laugh in their face. But as you stand in front of the mirror and check your appearance, you can’t help but feel excited. The feeling thrums under your skin and threatens to invade your mind and set it on one and only track… which is bound to happen sooner rather than later anyway.

You hate to be yet another example of how men and women can’t be just friends - because they can - but sometimes it just doesn’t end there. And who could blame you with friends like yours?

You’ve known Jaeyoon and Juho for most of your life. They are your closest and most trusted friends. You’d die for them. And apparently, you’d also spread your legs for them - a fun fact you’ve all come to find some time back while playing a drunken game of spin the bottle.

Who’s idea was that anyway?

Not that it matters - the result stays the same: you, waiting in your room for them to let themselves into your home and find you, already impatient to see them, touch them, feel them, all in such a new context.

"Oh you naughty, naughty girl," Juho growls into your ear, his hands possessively gripping your hips. You jump, you’ve not heard him enter. Despite your impatience, one look at the clock tells you he's early - and he’s not the only one.

There’s a whistle and your eyes shoot up, meeting Jaeyoon’s. He’s smirking, nothing like his usual sweet smile - now there’s a predatory quality to the expression as he takes in your barely covered body.

While this has been on the table for some time now, you haven’t quite expected it happening anytime soon, much less today. You'd think there would be a special occasion, something you could expect and prepare for days in advance. Not an exchange of nervous but heated glances and agreement to meet at yours after work. Then again, you don’t think you’d ever be really prepared. 

You squeeze your thighs together. It doesn’t escape either of their attention, what with the pathetic excuse for coverage you’re wearing.

“So that’s what you’ve been doing in the mall alone,” he wonders aloud, stepping closer to inspect the white lace under your breasts, "I let you out of my sight for a second and this happens…"

It was meant to be a surprise and an experiment. It was surprisingly hard to shake off Juho during your little outing just days prior, but your effort seems to have paid off. You’ve had a feeling at least one of them would appreciate it, even if you haven’t really planned for… well, honestly all of this, still in denial. At least you can now compare their reactions in real time.

The whole lingerie set is white and lacy and most importantly - transparent. There are a few straps around your hips and thighs. Although you doubt they’ll survive the night with how rough Juho’s playing with them already, pulling on them until they’re about to snap. Jaeyoon meanwhile drinks you in and you can see the lust clouding his gaze as he steps closer but doesn’t touch you just yet. You want him to.

“Surprise?” you smile at him while melting into the younger man’s touch. Juho presses your back against his front and you feel how hard he’s getting against the curve of your ass. It’s flattering. His hands stroke your front, thumbs running along the line of your pelvis but the rest of his fingers creep dangerously close to your core.

Jaeyoon’s hands don’t stay off your body for too long either. His hand hovers over your barely covered nipples until one slender finger touches your skin and begins circling around the sensitive nub. You gasp, arching into his touch. You haven’t expected you’d be this sensitive and that the lace and his gentle touch would feel so good. His free hand grips your neck, pushing you more into Juho’s chest. The black haired man hums in satisfaction, nibbling on your ear. His fingers inch closer to your center where you need them but Jaeyoon stops him before he can touch you there.

“Do you think we can make her cum without taking these off?” he wonders aloud, smirking at the shock that flashes across your face.

Juho caresses your lace-covered abdomen, so close yet so far from where you need him, and you feel the smirk in his voice. “I don't care, but I bet I can make her cum better than you - clothes or not.”

You wanna tell him that there was no mention of a competition - because there was not. Because you know how competitive they can get under the right circumstances. You silently plead with Jaeyoon, too caught off guard to give him your best puppy eyes but you know he knows what you want to tell him. 

“You’re on,” he smirks at his friend over your shoulder and, as if mocking you, kisses your forehead. He doesn’t pull away, instead he leans closer. His thumb flicks over your nipple and he shushes you when you softly moan. “You know we’ll treat you right, don’t you?”

You nod immediately. You trust them both, and you know that they wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you or put you into (too much) distress. 

“Use your words, baby,” Juho’s voice rumbles right next to your ear. His fingers tease over the flimsy fabric, only ever barely brushing against your slit before they retreat again. “We’ll need you to speak tonight. It’s important and we can’t read your mind.”

“Let us hear you,” Jaeyoon whispers into your skin. As if to give you the space to think about it, his hands fall to your waist while Juho’s settle on your hips. Before they can step away too, you reach out for both of them, pulling them back close by their clothes. You lick your lips.

“I know, I trust you - both of you,” you nod again, smiling first at the man in front of you and then turning your head back, “I want this too. Just be gentle?”

“We always spoil you,” Juho pouts, propping his chin on your shoulder. He pulls you back to his body. Only now do you process the difference between your almost naked state and the fully clothed them.

“You’re in good hands,” Jaeyoon confirms, cupping your cheek and rubbing the apple of it with his thumb, “We already said we’d take good care of you.”

“Really? ‘Cause all I heard was I’d be the victim of your competition,” you quirk a brow at him. The man behind you chuckles and presses his lips to the side of your neck. It catches you off guard, again, and makes you gasp. The brunette in front of you takes full advantage of it as his hand slides down to your jaw and he teases your lower lip with his thumb. He leaves it there even as you lick it with the tip of your finger.

“Not a victim, more like the prize,” he corrects and Juho behind you hums in agreement, “If you enjoy it, you might let us do it again, right?”

You hate him and his stupid grin. Hate the way his cheeks make it look so cute as if he isn’t about to keep you up all night - and share you with one of his best friends. Then again, putting it that way might be unfair to Juho, who has about the same virtually non-existent claim on you as Jaeyoon does.

“I mean it, Jae,” you say and they both turn their attention to what you’re saying, alarmed by the badly hidden urgency in your voice, “You can do what you want, just don’t push me too far.”

It’s a strange feeling, to be hugged and held by two men at the same time, but you also find that it’s comforting. These are your friends, after all, and they always will be - regardless of what’s going to happen in the next couple hours. 

“We just told you,” one of them says, and you’re ashamed to admit that you’re too distracted by their reassuring touches to identify the voice, “We’ll take good care of you.”

And then you’re pulled and pushed, all so gently like they’re just a breeze guiding your body, on the bed. You fall down, cushioned by Jaeyoon’s body under yours. Juho’s hot on your back, holding himself above both of you. Your thighs squeeze around Jaeyoon’s body. Maybe you like being caged in, being crowded by the two of them. If Juho didn’t notice the twitch of your body, Jaeyoon’s smirk told him everything he needed to know. When he dips his head down and his breath fans over your neck, you know you’re in trouble as shivers shake your entire body.

“What a nice position you've gotten yourself into,” Juho taunts. His hands come to your hips and help you straddle his friend properly. You bite down on your lip when your core brushes against Jaeyoon’s bulge. The man himself admires your body with hooded eyes. His hands slide up your thighs. Before you can do much, Juho’s grip tightens and he guides your movements. You curse under your breath. The rough denim feels so good in combination with your silky lingerie, and the deep breath the man under you takes makes you want to be in control. You want to play with him like they plan to play with you.

“Getting ahead of ourselves, are we?” Juho tsks, gently slowing down your efforts.

“Oh, come on,” you groan, rolling your eyes, “Look at him. Tell me you don’t want to tease him.”

He gives you an unimpressed look - much like the disbelieving scoff that leaves Jaeyoon’s lips.

“Not really,” Juho shrugs, “But I want to see you have fun. Let me help.” 

This time it's the brunette who's surprised. You’re allowed to move as you want and you use it against the older male. His hands grip your thighs tighter while Juho’s lips attach to your neck. You grind against Jaeyoon’s crotch with his friend’s help. His hands push your hips down, adding pressure - and pleasure - from time to time, driving you crazy. Maybe, just maybe, you’re starting to get a little needier than you expected you would because suddenly the idea of them taking turns with you the whole night doesn't sound quite so bad.

Jaeyoon’s fingers massage the flesh of your thighs in a vain attempt to ground himself. It's not near enough stimulation to ground his hips into yours but it’s obvious that it's enough for you - and honestly that's hotter than he would admit. He loves watching as you try to quieten your moans without any success. And knowing he doesn't even have to get naked to make you soaked on his cock boosts his ego immensely. Your breathing turns into stuttering gasps as your climax approaches and an almost ticklish sensation spreads through your body. 

Your fingers twitch and tighten in Jaeyoon’s shirt. Juho sucks mark after mark on your neck and you find you like it. You want him to mark you and make you his, and you want to demand that Jaeyoon covers those marks with his own. You whimper at the thought, grounding your hips against his without caring about anything but making yourself come. They help you through it, Jaeyoon by stroking your thighs and bucking his hips against yours and Juho showers you with praise and his thumbs draw comforting circles on your overstimulated skin. It's only when you get your breathing under control that they talk.

“So that’s a pretty good one for me, right?” the smirk is unconcealable in Juho’s voice.

“I think our pretty girl came on my cock, so that one’s on me - what do you think?” Jaeyoon turns their attention to you. You groan, allowing your body to slump forward and rest on his chest. 

“This again?” you sigh, your mind still reeling from your orgasm and the overwhelming feeling of your friend’s hard cock pressed snuggly against your core.

“Why not?” he chuckles, tapping your ass playfully.

“Why yes?” you counter.

“Whoever gets more orgasms out of you gets to keep you?” Juho jokes, and even though his voice is anything but serious, you can’t help the way your body reacts.

“Oh?” Jaeyoon laughs when he feels you squirm on his lap. 

“Shut up,” you punch his shoulder, but before you can tell him off, you’re being lifted and thrown on the bed next to him. You squeal, unused to this kind of treatment from their side.

Turns out they won’t have mercy on you now that they’ve apparently decided to roll with the joke and apparently turn it into today’s concept. 

��Wait! Ju-” you’re too late when you finally notice Juho kneeling in front of the bed, pulling your body towards him. Your mind blanks out when he licks through your folds covered by the soaked-through excuse for fabric you’re wearing. 

“That was a pretty sound,” Jaeyoon coos, turning on his side to lay next to you. He fixes your hair - a completely pointless gesture but whatever, his fingers feel nice as they brush against your scalp.

“And she’s delicious too,” Juho hums, licking his lips before diving in again. You feel how drenched your panties are, getting wetter by the second with his saliva. You whimper, one hand fisting in his hair and the other, unsurprisingly, in Jaeyoon’s shirt. At least before he takes your hand and brings it to his lips. If his goal was to make you lose your mind, he’s succeeding. The animalistic hunger with which Juho’s devouring your cunt is balanced by the tenderness of Jaeyoon’s lips on your skin.

The man between your thighs attacks your clit with deadly precision. If only there wasn’t the fabric in the way of his passionate assault. Juho doesn’t seem to mind it too much, though. Actually, it seems to be the opposite. His teeth tug at the flimsy piece, teasing at how easily it could be ripped apart. Like he can’t get enough of the faux innocence.

“Take it off,” you beg. You go as far as easing your grip on his hair for the sake of running your fingers through it instead. He likes when you do that - hopefully enough to listen to you now. He chuckles, suckling on your covered clit just to make you whine and trash around as much as Jaeyoon and his own hold allow you.

“Where would be the fun in that? And there’s the challenge too,” he scolds, leaving a trail of wet, messy kisses on your inner thigh. You wanna tell him exactly where they can both stick their fucking competition. And you want to tell them (again) that you’re not some kind of toy they can just use to boost their egos… but Juho’s tongue is very persuasive. You hate it as much as you love it.

Whatever smart remark you had prepared gets drowned out by your moans as he swipes his tongue side-to-side on your clit, flicks it with the tip of his wet muscle. And even those sounds get muffled when Jaeyoon crashes his lips against yours. You kiss him back eagerly, letting him swallow all your cries. He sucks on your tongue while Juho does so on your clit and it’s so good it makes tears well up in your eyes.

It’s a little surprising that Juho’s as skilled with his tongue on your pussy as he is when he’s spitting raps. He licks long stripes, wiggling the muscle along your slit and dragging the fabric along the line of each movement, before shifting his attention on your clit with gentle short flicks of his tongue. It makes your toes curl and eyes shut close, your breathing gets erratic and you fidget with your hands - you want to both push him away and pull him closer. You want to mark Jaeyoon’s chest with your nails, leave scratches for everyone to see and wonder.

That’s when Juho returns to the long and slow licks and you moan. It’s a pattern now, he’s been toying with you for what feels like eternity and if his smirk is any indication, he’s pretty proud of himself too. You want to pull his hair and force him to make you come again. Jaeyoon seems impatient for his turn to do a number on you too, but even so he’s not helping. Asshole. You wanna mock him for settling with basically fucking your mouth with his tongue but you don’t. Your mouth is full. You can’t really speak.

Your breathing calms again now that Juho’s allowing you to catch your breath but the moaning still lingers at the end of each sigh that’s allowed to get past your lips. You cry out when he suddenly sucks the bundle of nerves into his mouth again.

“I think she likes my mouth more,” Juho purrs, licking his wet lips. He pulls away, head resting against your inner thigh. He looks as smug as you’ve ever seen him. You’re about to tell him off when you feel a single finger circle the fabric covering your entrance. You moan his name. How could you miss that he’s about to do that? You won’t last like this, not with how his thumb is expertly rubbing circles on your abused clit.

“Just wait when I have my way with her,” Jaeyoon growls, his hand slides up from your waist and gropes at your chest and he twists your lace-covered nipple and - fuck you need someone inside you right now and you don’t care which one it’s going to be.

“Please,” you beg, swallowing the rest of your words so you don’t choke on them or saliva as Juho’s finger pushes in as much as the material of your panties allows. Who the fuck came up with keeping you in the ligerie? You’re going to strangle him. 

“Just a little more, you can cum for me, right?” his voice drops lower while he watches your twitching form in awe. Reduced to a teary-eyed mess by his tongue and fingers. Your thighs are spasming around him and not even the distraction Jaeyoon provides by kissing you breathless and playing with your tits can take your full attention off him. It’s an addictive feeling.

“M-more,” you demand and it’s such a cute view that he indulges you. His lips wrap around your clit again and it’s not long before you’re trying to suffocate him with your thighs, jerking away from his hungry mouth. You’re chanting his name, your hand threatens to tear a bald spot on his scalp but he doesn’t mind at all. It’s cute how easily he can overstimulate you as a revenge. Only when you start babbling softly and pushing him away does he relent and pulls away. 

He lies down on the other side of you and is immediately pulled into a kiss that tastes like you on your tongue. Jaeyoon rubs his hands along your sides and arms, his head resting in the crook of your neck. He’s so warm, a grounding presence with all his tender touches.

“You still okay?” he asks, nosing along your throat.

“Yeah,” you laugh breathily, “We only just started, right?” Despite saying that, you do feel the effect they have on your body - your waning strength and patience, and still your growing curiosity and insatiability.

“Don’t say that twice,” Juho warns, pushing his lips against yours in a rough kiss. Jaeyoon meanwhile pulls away to move you higher on the bed so that he could place himself between your thighs once he rids himself of his clothes.

You don’t have much time to admire his perfectly sculpted body or his angry red cock before he slaps it against your clit and lies it down between your folds. He gives you a mean smirk.

“N-no, no, please,” you wanna cry and you wanna punch him. Maybe you should’ve expected this.

Jaeyoon only shushes you as he pulls on the fabric of your ruined panties and pushes them to the side so he can slide his cock right inside. He rubs the head of his cock on your swollen clit. Honestly, he also wants to just fuck into you finally - you’re so wet, and he knows he’d fill you up so good, you’d fit so right around his cock. But there will be enough time for that later.

“Jae, honey, please,” you turn to begging again and your wet eyes are almost enough to make him give you what you both want. Juho and his challenging smirk ruins it all for you, however.

“Just one more, baby,” Jaeyoon promises, stroking up and down your thighs, “Just one more and we’ll give you what you want.”

“Yeah?” you have to cling to the hope he’s not lying or you’ll really lose it. Jaeyoon smiles, his eyes briefly meeting Juho’s, before he looks at you and nods.

“Promised we’d spoil you,” Juho reassures, his fingers stroking along your jaw and neck, “You just have to wait for it.”

Waiting is the last thing you want to do. Your patience is thinning fast and they’re not helping.

First there’s Juho and his fingers that caress all over your sensitive throat and sometimes accidentally brush against your lips and pull away before you can do anything. And then, of course, there’s Jaeyoon. Jaeyoon and his stupid heavy, hot, leaking cock dripping all over your folds and into your already soaked underwear.

You feel his every pulsing vein, each of the ridges an explosion of pleasure. He ruts his hips into yours and he’s barely keeping his grunts at bay. His hands are all over you, squeezing, grabbing. How come you still don’t have enough? If you were left to your own devices, you’d have long since finished the, let’s say, session. But trapped between these two, you want more. Always more. Maybe you really are greedy.

“Jae, fuck,” you cry out as he purposely teases your entrance with his cock, “Please, need it bad.”

“Begging won’t help, baby,” he chuckles, “Cum for me and I’ll consider it.”

“Ju…” you change your tactic immediately. That earns you a switch from teasing your gushing hole back to your clit. He sets his jaw, the only sign he’s affected as much as you are, even if you’re more vocal about it. 

“What is it, love?” the man next to you asks, purring right into your ear. The nickname makes you whimper and clench around nothing.

You reach for him, for the hem of his shirt before sliding your hand lower. You palm him through his pants, bucking your hips into Jaeyoon’s when he curses. He’s as hot and heavy in your hand as Jaeyoon is between your legs. Your mouth waters and you muster enough strength to turn your head and look him in the eyes. In the next second, his lips are on yours and you moan into the kiss.

“Calm down, shit,” Jaeyoon pushes your hips back down where you’ve arched from the bed. He holds you steady and keeps grinding against you. The friction is perfect and everything you could ask for - but you want more. You don’t care about your climax, you just want something - someone - inside of you. And since Jaeyoon’s made it clear he won’t give you what you want…

“Ju… I need you,” you bat your lashes at him, leaning closer to kiss the man slowly, deeply.

“Give out pretty baby what she wants,” the man teasing you acknowledges with a scoff.

“But can she handle it?” Juho wonders aloud against your lips.

“Yeah, please, I can, please,” you’re nearly whimpering, because with every little sound your dearest friend jerks his hips up and makes sparks of pleasure dance all over your skin. It’s so cruel of him; the way he lets his cock slip down to your entrance, to gather your wetness on the head of his dick without putting it in like you fucking asked, before he returns to humping your drenched cunt and panties.

“Give it to her,” Jaeyoon coos, but there’s a strain in his voice, “She asked so nicely.”

“That she did,” Juho purrs, kissing you one last time. You chase after his lips once he pulls away. He’s not going far though, merely getting up to quickly pull off his clothes. You lick your lips, eyes glued to the glistening tip of his cock. 

It’s not long before you’re trying to squirm out of Jaeyoon’s hold and crawl over to Juho’s lap. But the former holds you steady and close and doesn’t stop his abuse on your cunt - much to your pleasure because you don’t want to get away from the stimulation. Juho doesn’t have to say a word for you to part your lips and suck his length into his mouth once he gets within your reach.

“Impatient,” he hisses, his hand fisting in your hair and holding you still.

“Can you blame her? Don’t you hear how wet she is?” as if to prove his point, Jaeyoon presses his hand atop your wet panties and a loud squelching sound can be heard through the room. You feel your face turn red with shame, but the only place you can hide is Juho’s body. So you impale yourself deeper even if he’s about to pull your hair out. 

“Yeah, fuck, her mouth ’s good,” he slurs and if you looked up, you could appreciate the pretty way his eyelashes flutter and his jaw hangs open. If only Jaeyoon would stop blinding you with mind-numbing pleasure. 

He doesn’t. And you suck on Juho’s dick with each sharp thrust of his friend’s hips. You feel the thighs of the man in front of you tremble under your hands and you plead with him, forcing yourself to open your eyes despite the few tears slipping out, to let go. He curses when it registers what you’re asking for. The vibrations of your desperate whines go straight into his dick. He’s more than ready, excited, to oblige. 

With one of your friends fucking your mouth and the other rutting between your folds and teasing your clit, you’re on cloud nine. Your brain is turning into mush. Jaeyoon makes you feel so good and in turn you’re happy to spread the pleasure. Although with the way Jaeyoon’s dick is twitching between your panties and your wetness, he’s far from unaffected. And Juho’s so heavy and fits so perfectly into your mouth that you wanna cry. Maybe you do, all you know is you’re suckling on him and that he’s pushing himself into your throat with deep grunts. 

Yet your body keeps trying to escape the pleasure. It’s too much and you want more but you’re also too stimulated, it’s too much too fast. And still not enough. You feel the muscles of your abdomen tightening, the tension rising until it snaps. 

You don’t hear Juho’s rushed swearing and growls as you swallow and choke around him, nor do you notice how fast Jaeyoon pulls away while he’s still able to stop. For a while, you feel nothing at all except the waves of your high washing over you, leaving you spent. There’s your own deafening heartbeat in your ears, white spots dancing across your vision, your skin feels on fire. The only relief is something cold passing over your stomach and chest that carefully avoids your sensitive breasts.

It’s Jaeyoon’s hand, you find once you come to. 

“Hey, lovely,” he smiles at you. He’s lying by your side again, Juho mirroring his position on your other side. It’s honestly the best place you’ve ever found yourself in, between your two pretty best friends. You feel Juho’s fingers in your hair and you lean into his touch gratefully.

“Hey,” you hum, turning your head back to Jaeyoon to give him a long kiss. Then you turn to the other side and repeat the process with Juho.

Their hands caress, their movements slow and comforting. Both of them carefully avoid any sensitive areas so as not to overstimulate you. The kisses they give are soft and gentle too, their tongues soothing over your tender lips. It makes you feel safe, cared for, which you suppose is their goal after all.

“Had fun?” Juho asks, pecking your lips once more. You nod with another happy sound and sigh. “Who made you cum better?” 

You roll your eyes, heaving a long, exasperated sound. “No comment.”

They laugh, reassuring you that they can wait for you to consider it, let it all settle in your mind. But as they talk, something else bubbles up in your brain.

“But you didn’t…” you frown, looking between the two of them. They share a look and smirk. You’re not sure if the goosebumps on your arms are because of excitement or worry.

“Oh, baby,” Jaeyoon coos, and Juho finishes the sentence: “Did you think we’re finished? We’re just giving you a little timeout so you don’t break.”

[chaoticgeminate]

Kinktober 2022 - Day Twenty Two

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit (If that was not entirely clear)

Series Summary: You’re a fanfiction writer turned novelist, which was great since it was the path you wanted your writing to take you down in life. What you never thought would happen was meeting the Javier Gutierrez, who you actively write smutty fanfiction about from his film with Nic Cage, and you especially didn’t expect him to have a crush on you.

Fast forward several months of dating, with a good chunk of your relationship being distance due to his constant traveling and having to go home to Mallorca, when he surprises you with a prompt list and a vacation planned around exploring it.

You haven’t even worked up the nerve to tell him about what you write and post to Tumblr about him as a character yet.

Notes: Going to be using prompts from @the-purity-pen for my meta as hell indulgence! There are feelings in this (I have no idea how they got there) and I may end up removing some possible chapters here and there depending on how I’m feeling, I apologize in advance if that happens because my brain is super mean sometimes.

Possible Warnings: Smut, Phone Sex, consent discussions

Phone Sex (1.5k)

It had been an emergency flight.

Javi had apologized profusely about interrupting but there had been some issues with the olive business back in Spain and the vendors were refusing to budge if Javi didn’t make an appearance, likely tied to Paulina and her brother but you had no clue since even Javi had been in the dark about any problems happening.

He left yesterday, after you two fucked like rabbits in his study, and you’d been writing notes and blurbs and tidbits of ideas for new fics or even new concepts for your novel series. The inspiration of this place, of this month, was unreal and you were glad you had prioritized time with Javi over everything.

Even notes in your phone had been unimportant compared to just being here with him.

But now that you’d had him at your side for so long, you lived with him and woke up with him, you missed him more. Which was stupid, you had him to yourself -basically- for three weeks and you couldn’t realistically be by his side every waking second of the day.

“I really am sorry-“

“Gabi, hey, I get it. You’re not to blame because the workers won’t talk to anyone except him, and I wouldn’t want you dealing with their continued attitude by refusing to contact him just so we could finish our trip out.”

“A vacation is meant to be a vacation, that is all, I wanted you both to have this.”

“I can speak for Javi when I say, we do appreciate it, truly. You have been a great friend, to both of us, and we know you only called because you had no other choice.”

“As soon as we are done I will get him back to you.”

“I know you will, and thank you for helping me with this. I hope he likes it.”

“Javi will love it, I promise you, I cannot wait to see his face.”

Your phone beeped and you glanced at the screen, your boyfriend’s cheeky grin captured on a picture taking up your screen.

“He’s calling now, thanks again.”

“Ah, anytime.”

Hearing Gabi’s excitement only amplified yours and you swapped over the call after carefully closing the drawer beside you, not wanting any chances for you to slip up that surprise before you were ready. Javi’s face was close to the screen when the video call connected and you couldn’t fight the giggle that left you.

“Cariño, you can’t teleport through the phone like that.”

“I wish I could, I should have brought you here, Solecita.”

“Javi we can’t be attached at the hips 24/7 no matter how much we want to be.”

“I miss you always but it is worse now that I’ve had you for so long without work obligations in our way.”

“I, uh, was looking over my contract with the publishing company. Gabi sent it to your employment lawyer to read over too… I can buy the rights to self-publish my existing novels and pay myself out of a legal obligation to stay where I am.”

“You mean… to move in with me?”

“Mhm, but only if you’re okay with that, I haven’t made a move yet because I wasn’t going to without consulting you first.”

“I was going to ask you what the legalities were with where you lived. I want you to live with me, even if you wanted me to downsize-“

“No, no, I had hang-ups in the past over the wealth imbalance but that was a me thing. You never once made me feel lesser because of it, that was my own mental block, trust me when I say that I won’t ask you to change a thing about who you are or what you have.”

“I love you, so much. I wish you were here, so I could show you everything. I want to see your face when I take you out on the boat the first time, when you see the pool and the cliffs… to sleep with you in my bed knowing that you won’t be across an ocean the next time I want to see you.”

His voice went soft and you set your laptop aside, watching his face as he looked away from you, and you couldn’t help but smile softly at him.

“Javi, I will need to handle the legal of things on my end but I’m- I am ready to move in with you. I took some time to just think and reflect, to talk with my therapist and my friends, and they reminded me that long distance or not there isn’t a set timeline for any relationship. That it’s okay for me to want everything even though it feels early.”

His eyes were round in disbelief for maybe half a second before he was crying, joyful tears with a smile that made you want to kiss him, and your own eyes welled over in response.

“I’ll let the staff know, do you want your own office for writing?”

“I would appreciate that, but you’re never barred from coming in okay?”

“That is- the same for you as well, even if I’m on a call, you’re welcome any time.”

Javi refused a phone tour, wanting to do one in person, and then he grinned in a way that was far from innocent.

“I am alone and have some time before I meet with the lead of staff, Solecita, if you were here I would encourage you to come sit in my lap.”

You couldn’t fight the thrill of excitement if you tried, adjusting how you were sitting in the bed, and it was a small blessing that the television stand at the end of the bed was there since you could prop your phone very easily into the groove and have both hands.

“Oh really, just to sit in your lap, or would you want me to be bare?”

He set his phone down with it propped up and you watched him lean back too, you couldn’t see much below the desk but you did know his hand was out of sight.

“Bare, of course, maybe with a flowy skirt so that I could fuck you and anyone who might walk in would be unable to tell exactly what we’re up to.”

“They would know, we aren’t exactly subtle, especially when I get so wet because of how good you make me feel.”

“Are you wet now, mi amor?”

“Just thinking of your cock inside me makes me want you, cariño.”

“Show me.”

It was easy to slide your hands down into your shorts, gathering the wetness before it could soak into your underwear, and Javi moaned at the shiny gleam on your hand.

“Play with that pretty clit for me, Solecita. You know how I touch you, close your eyes and imagine its me.”

“Fuck, Javi-“

You did as he said, closing your eyes and letting him croon through the phone as you circled your clit with two fingers, and Javi was panting into the speaker as he watched your face.

“Are you nice and wet for me, are you going to cum for me?”

His praise about how pretty you looked, how good he knew you felt, all of it made your body propel toward an orgasm that had you seeing stars and you knew he’d cum based on how hard he was breathing and the flush of his skin on your camera.

“Javi-“

“I’m taking a red-eye, I will be home as early as I can, and I will be waking you up if you’re asleep.”

Javi’s voice was rough and you knew he wanted to take care of you, to cuddle with you and stroke your hair and whisper words of love into your skin, he was an aftercare king. But the door was wide open for a conversation that you hadn’t been sure how to have with him.

“You don’t have to wake me up, Javi. You have my consent to do what you want to me while I’m asleep.”

“Solecita… you truly consent to me being physical with you while you’re sleeping?”

“Yes, Javi, I do consent to it. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up before but the idea of CNC is something I am interested in.”

“Only if you are sure, Solecita, I do not like the idea of violating your trust-“

“Which is why I trust you, Javi, you’ve been nothing but respectful and open with me.”

“If you wake up and don’t want me to continue you must safeword, do you understand?”

“I promise you if I don’t like something I will safeword, Javi.”

He nodded and a knock on the door on his side of the call made him apologize, likely shoving his cock back in his pants and trying to not look like he’d just cum, so you let him go and smiled at the small screen for just a second.

Surer than ever with what you had planned.

All Fics Taglist: @hardc0rehaylz @wordsnwhiskey @pagannightwitch @radiowallet @musings-of-a-rose @amneris21 @trickstersp8 @practicalghost @rominaszh @alwaysdjarin @alexxavicry @all-the-way-down-here

Just Pedro Taglist: @maievdenoir @beecastle @littlemisspascal @writeforfandoms @AynsleyWalker @lovesbiggerthanpride @MSWarriorBabe80

Alt Taglist: @imtryingmybeskar @fan-of-encouragement @grogusmum @sizzlingcloudmentality @deadhumourist @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

Kinktober Only: @nicolethered @katareyoudrilling

[resowrites]

Blog update/answered asks.

Hi folks, just a quick post to say sorry that I’ve had to delete yet another story, my last one didn’t disappear under tags but for some reason yesterday’s did. It seems random but Tumblr haven’t been able to assist. If anyone has any ideas please let me know. Please also know that I’m still so grateful for all the support and I’m sorry to anyone who reblogged before they got a chance to read it.

I’m working on a post that was supposed to come before yesterday’s one but it’s still proving tricky to get right. I’ll upload as soon as I can!

I’ve also let my asks build up (I don’t normally get much time to answer, sorry!) but I’m just gunna answer most of them in one go so I don’t clog up dashboards (I’ll answer the rest asap):

Anon #1: Thank you for such lovely comments, I’m glad you’re enjoying!

Anon #2: Henry and his gf have been together seven years. Thanks!

Anon #3: I used to write male reader stories, including smut, but they didn’t gain much traction so I stopped. Perhaps I will again in the future. Thanks!

Anon #4: You didn’t offend me, I welcome feedback/asks. All I can suggest is if you’ve read the series and the characterisation isn’t for you, please feel free to move on to other writers/stories. Thanks!

Anon #5: I write Henry as an AU version because this feels more appropriate given that I don’t know him nor know a great deal about him. From what I’ve seen, my Henry is quite different in personality as well so it just makes more sense to me. Thanks!

Anon #6: No, Ollie isn’t short for Olivia. I may reveal her full name at some point, I haven’t decided. Thanks!

Anon #7: No, Ollie isn’t based on me, none of my stories are self inserts. Parts of her personality are however modelled on a good friend of mine. Thanks!

Anon #8: Aw thank you for such lovely feedback! I’ve got no idea how long the series will continue for. The stories are based roughly in real time and I have a lot planned for them both this year though the posting schedule will probably continue to be erratic. Thanks!

Phew! Thanks for all the asks folks and again, all the lovely feedback. If you have any more questions/comments, feel free to drop me a line anytime. Now please enjoy some Henry ;) - R x

[moonstone01]

Stood Up

MoonKnight

Steven Grant x Female Reader

Word count: 5.8K

Warnings: Smut, that's about it? 

A/N: If anyone actually reads this, this is my very first attempt at any form of writing in general, so if it is shit, I severely apologize. This was also written in one day on a whim. 

You had been stood up, AGAIN. 

You don’t know why but the man who asked you on a date seemed different then the usual personality he possesses. 

“Steak? At seven?” you said to him after he rambled about the food items at his counter of the museum you both worked at. He looked at you as if you had said it in foreign language, then his expression lightened as he asked.

“Steak? S-sorry are you asking me out?” As he said this, you were a bit confused, because he had just asked YOU the other day. But, he's hot, so you shrug it off as if it were a joke. 

“You're funny, see you tomorrow” you said back with a breathy laugh, almost flirtatiously, and walked off back to the group of people you had to tour. Steven had always caught your attention. His shy nature and gentleness was such a turn on. Not to mention his dark brown, disheveled curls and dark eyes that looked at you with awe. The way he nervously spoke to everyone, especially you, was cute in your eyes, almost like a lost puppy. However, the day he asked you out was very strange, he had a different look in his eye, and his accent was just a bit different, but hey, who are you to turn this man down? 

So, here you are, at this fancy restaurant on the corner of a busy bustling street, waiting. You call him, no answer. You have been waiting for thirty minutes by the time the waiter comes over. 

“Still waiting for one more?” The waiter asks you curiously.

“Nope..a-actually, I think I am ready to order” so you sat, alone, eating steak by yourself. It bothers you because you have been stood up before, plenty of times. But from Steven? You would have never guessed Steven of all people would leave you, alone, rethinking yourself. Then again, you didn’t really know him. So many thoughts go through your head, trying to find an excuse as to why his presence is missing. Am I not good enough for him? Did he rethink this whole date and just decide it to be better not to tell you? Maybe he got busy? No, he can not possibly be busy, you think to yourself. It’s simple, he is just like the rest, and you're not taking the bullshit. After you eat dinner by yourself, you pay, and start your walk to your apartment under the streetlights of London. The whole walk, Steven still floods your mind, but you try to push him out of your mind as you enter your apartment. As you walk in, you enter your freshly clean apartment. It always smells like your signature scent and the decor is minimalistic. Your apartment has a very open floor plan, so you make a B-line right to your bed after kicking your heels off, lying there as the realization hits that- even though you dread to get up from your comfy bed after such a shitty night - you have to wash your makeup off and do your night routine. You wash the makeup you worked so hard to do that afternoon to impress him, you take down your hair you spent your attention on, making sure it’s perfect, and you take the red form fitting dress off that showed off your body quite well that you were excited to show off to him. He had only seen you in your work attire, so the dress- you thought- would fluster shy, timid Steven. You finally climb into the white sheets of your bed, lying comfortably under the comforter that felt like a cloud on top of you, and the thoughts of Steven, and the terrible night you had finally, finally drift away as you let sleep win. 

***

It is now Sunday. Steven stood you up Friday, and you haven’t seen him since that day at work. You didn’t plan on seeing him anytime soon anyway. You are reading a book in your bed, enjoying the cold breeze from your open window under the protection of your comforter. However, your phone starts to vibrate on the nightstand to your left. It is currently 7:15, and the sun has gone significantly down, so the lamp at your left illuminates so much so that it causes a glare on your phone screen, preventing you from seeing who is calling you at this time when you are enjoying the peace. With a huff, you put a finger in between the pages and let go of the book with your left hand and bend significantly to the side to reach your phone. When you get to read who is calling you, your heart drops. It is Steven Grant from the gift shop. You quickly place your makeshift bookmark into the book you were reading and put it to the side. Should I even answer? What does he want to apologize? Too late for that now huh? You answer the phone, even though you have every reason not to, but you just have a feeling you should.

“What” you answer coldly, you felt a bit bad for it but what does he expect after leaving you alone like that?

“I-I’m at the restaurant” he says in sort of a fake enthusiastic way “steak at seven, remember?” He says almost as if he’s trying to convince himself that you did in fact make plans. You cannot believe him, it is two days after the actual date you had set. 

“Yeah, I ate steak all by myself two days ago, thanks a lot” you retorted back.

“W-what I thought we said Friday, today” he answers back quickly, almost in a desperate plea.

“Steven, it is Sunday”

“No…no, that can’t be, I still think Friday comes after Thursday, doesn’t it?” 

“Look if this is some joke or something I am not buying it, lose my numb-” he cuts you off quickly.

“No, no, no w-wait, y/n. please I’m sorry can you just- can you just please come” he rushes desperately, making you halt your hand that was about to swiftly hang up. 

“Please I-I will pay for everything, I must have lost track of time I really want to see you” he admits, this makes you question. He genuinely sounds confused, you almost feel bad for him, and his begging is making you want to hop right out of bed and get ready. After a moment of silence you answer him back. 

“Okay Steven, I will see you there in thirty minutes” you reply more calmly and hang up. You quickly jump out of bed to apply some quick makeup because even though you said you were done with him, you can’t help but want to impress him with your looks. You also grab the red dress you had worn the previous night he stood you up and the heels to match. The dress was spaghetti strap, and had a deep plunging neck-line that one swift and rough move would cause one of your boobs to pop out. After applying the dress and heels, you look in your mirror and quickly realize your hair is a mess, so you quickly fix it as best as you can because frankly, you are in a rush. You can’t help the bubbly excitement you feel about seeing him again, even though you shouldn’t. So you grab your phone, purse, and keys to your apartment and leave with a slam at the door. 

When you arrive, you are directed to your seat, heels clicking on your way. You look up from the ground and spot Steven, and he spots you. You can tell he can’t help the big smile that comes across his face when he sees you, a true, genuine smile, making you want to forgive him for what he did on Friday. You smile in return, nowhere near as big as his, but a genuine smile in return. Then he realizes something as his expression drops and quickly fumbles out the chair as you are within feet from the table and he runs to the other empty chair and slides it out all while looking at you. You laugh and thank him generously as you sit down in your chair and he sits back down in his. The two of you just sit in silence for a moment when you finally decide to speak up. 

“Well…you look handsome, Steven '' you say while staring directly at him. He is dressed up for your date, which you can tell he wanted to impress you as much as you wanted to impress him. You are usually the shy type of person, but when you know someones got the hots for you, you don’t hold back your inner thoughts. And by the way Steven is looking at you now, you know he certainly does. 

“T-thank you” he says with a bit of blush as he looks down, when he looks back up his eyes are not on your face anymore, they are staring at your dress. His eyes widen just a little bit and widen even more when he sees your cleavage, and at that his head snaps back up to your face as if jerking himself awake from slipping into a deep sleep. 

“You look stunning as well, y/n” you smile and proceed with conversation, pushing that slip up of his out of your mind. (Even though your plan with the dress had obviously worked its charm)

“So..why are we here on a Sunday and not Friday, Steven?” you question as you put your elbow on the table and hold your cheek in your hand. 

“Honestly..I’m not entirely sure..” he says looking down at his lap.

“I just..-I just lost track of time-or, or I just don’t remember what I was doing these past two days-I’m sorry I d-didn’t mean to leave you hangin y/n, I’m not all there these days, you see, I have a sleeping disorder-well- I’m not really sure-'' You listen to his rambling and how he genuinely thought today was Friday and not Sunday. You also listen about his sleeping disorder that he is also unsure of exactly why it happens. You're not sure how on earth someone could get their days of the week so confused, but you find yourself taking his excuse to heart, because it truly seems like he means what he is saying by the desperation and utter confusion in his eyes. 

“Steven” you say softly, but loud enough for him to hear you. He swiftly stops what he was saying and looks directly at you instead of finding something- anything - else to look at besides you. But now, you've almost demanded his full attention. 

“You don’t have to go any further, I forgive you, let's just enjoy our Sunday night instead of lingering on Friday night” you say as you smile at him reassuringly. At this, it's like a weight has been lifted off his chest as he takes a big deep breath and smiles in relief back at you. The moment was interrupted by the waiter asking if you two were finally ready to order drinks yet. You both order and continue talking. 

“So, Steven, tell me more about you” you say, which is a cliché thing to ask but, what else is there to talk about at this sort of awkward moment?

“Well-”

As the night continues, you learn more about each other. You learn Steven, ironically, is a vegan, so he ends up ordering a salad. A bit weird to say the least for asking you out for steak, but you shrug it off as he probably might have been thinking of your enjoyment more than his own. You also learn that he is a complete freak for Egyptian mythology, and you have always found it interesting, hell, you work as a tour guide for an Egyptian museum, but your interest is nothing compared to the passion Steven has for the subject. When you ask why on god's earth he isn’t a tour guide, he explains Donna, the boss you both share, does not have a liking for him. You watch as he rants on and on about the subject, shying away from your gaze after realizing he spilled his thoughts way too fast in such a short amount of time. You aren’t bothered by it, so you laugh. 

“It’s okay, I like how passionate you are about it, Donna is missing out, refusing to hire you is a crime.” you tell him bluntly and quite honestly, he smiles at you and laughs. 

“Well, I'm glad someone appreciates it,” you both laugh and continue talking. You learn he also lives in his “flat” (or in your words, apartment), that belongs to his mom. He also owns a goldfish with one fin named Gus, who he is quite fond of. He learns that you- probably being able to tell by your lack of accent -are from America. You explain how you wanted to live elsewhere, away from the familiarity of your boring home-town in America. He listens as you open up about family, friends, and your general ways of life and hobbies. You check every now and then if he’s still listening by looking into his eyes, and he is. Oh he certainly is, he's looking at you like a puppy, just happy to have your attention. He responds to you and asks genuine questions that make you feel elated that he is listening to you. It feels amazing. So, after you finish dinner you both are still talking. Walking in the same direction. You both share glances as the conversation flows, talking about each other's preferences and past times, you occasionally brush hands and Steven would subtly jolt at the sudden contact, such a sub. You guess you live closer because Steven still hasn’t indicated whether or not his flat is a different direction. 

“Steven, where is your apartment?” you laugh mid conversation. 

“Uhh, i-it was the other way, but I wanted to walk you to yours, I didn’t want to interrupt you I’m sorry” he says admittedly, you laugh at his nervousness. 

“No, it’s okay” you smile up at him, and he smiles down at you, he's not much taller than you but he still has a few inches on you. You near your apartment and you indicate this to him, he looks a bit sad that this wonderful night is coming to an end soon, and so are you, so when your apartment comes to view you start to walk slower. 

“I had fun with you tonight” you say, turning to look at him after the conversation went quiet for a bit. He turns to you and smiles that same big smile when he first saw you at the restaurant. You stop in front of the building that your apartment is in, Steven falling back from his step as well.

“I did too..Can-can I see you again y/n?” he stutters a bit asking you out, a lot more timidly then when he asked you out for steak the very first time. You both are acting like teenagers that have crushes on each other, and that's exactly how you feel. 

“Of course, I had fun with you tonight- wait - I just said that” you both laugh at your mistake loudly and you do a slight face palm at you repetition. Steven doesn’t take his eyes off you. After you both laugh off the mishap, you're both staring into each other's eyes. The tension is so thick. You both start to look down at each other's lips. Steven is looking at yours when his tongue comes out to wet his lips, subconsciously preparing his lips to kiss yours. You can’t continue to stare so-

“Can I kiss you?” you ask first, because a part of you knows he's not going to. He only responds with a slight nod, and you swiftly lean in. You're the first one to connect your lips together and it's one slow, single kiss. You both open your eyes to look at each other before you put your hand on the back of his curly hair and pull him back to you. It starts off slow, tender. Then he slowly, almost unsurely, wraps his arm around you while the other holds your face. That pushes you to deepen the kiss and subtly, almost subconsciously speed up. He leans more into you and you step back as he steps forward, towards your apartment building when he pulls away. Your head spinning with excitement. 

“So, I’ll see you at work tomorrow” he says, almost as a question, as you both slightly swaying at the sudden loss of contact. 

“Yup, you’ll definitely be seeing me” you retort back as you both say bye and “goodnight”. He watches as you enter your building, making sure you make it in, and when you turn to look back at him he waves shyly at you. You wave back, god he’s so sweet. 

You reach your apartment, still smiling from your encounter as you open the door. You get ready for bed and climb into your comforter. You fall asleep instead thinking about how much of a great night you had with Steven compared to two days ago. This time, letting sleep win with ease rather than overthinking thoughts. 

***

You and Steven had been seeing each other for about a month now. Every weekend since your first date you have spent with Steven. Not to mention the flirtatious glances at work and the small chit-chats in between your tours. However, sometimes he will disappear from work for a couple days, and when he returns he looks awfully tired, but somehow never tired of you. He has always had dark circles around his eyes, and one time he came back to work with a bruised up hand and a cut on his olive colored skin. When you asked about it, he stuttered severely over his words and gave the excuse that his sleeping disorder caused him to fall over and cut his arm on something, and he apparently “landed on his hand wrong” to explain the bruised knuckles. You weren’t buying the hand story, but the cut on his arm seemed minor and he didn’t seem like the type of guy to get in a fight, so you take his jumbled excuse with caution. 

It’s Friday, and you both have planned to go on a date to another restaurant. This one being more vegan friendly for him, and something new for you to try. You wore a short black dress, another form fitting dress, which somehow showed even more cleavage than before. You were on a mission tonight, and you wore your best black panties to make Steven crawl on his knees. You both have only kissed, and you could tell just kissing made Steven bright red, and painfully hard. Often, by the end of your kissing fits, he would be straining in his pants, but he is such a sweetheart he didn’t force anything on you. You would imagine him going home and touching himself to the thought of you, which gave you pride and made you tingle in a certain place. When you get to the restaurant, he is already there, as he always is. This time, as you're walking towards him he isn’t looking at your face. He's looking at your body. He swallows and you can see his adam's apple bob as he licks his lips. Horny much? You slide into the booth as he watches your every mood. After you get your food, you notice he has gone quiet, as you eat, he is looking down at a place his eyes shouldn’t be. You smirk at this. You slowly lift your foot to gently rub up and down his calf. This causes his eyes to shoot up to yours, you smirk at his surprised look. 

“Wha-” he begins to say but gets slightly choked up. You are slowly making slow, steady movements along his leg with your heeled foot. He's getting flustered. You both are sitting in a booth in the very back corner of the bustling restaurant, so any engagements underneath the table won’t be noticed, so, you get a little bit more bold. You notice he goes for his drink and as he raises it to his lips you quickly but gently place your heeled foot against his crotch. He is hard as steel right now. As soon as your foot makes contact he jumps and spills a bit of his water on the table and his chest as it was at his lips. You smile evilly at the reaction you got from him, he swiftly puts his drink down and goes for a napkin-your foot still at the straining in his pants- and wipes the mess he just made on himself and the table. After he gathers himself you take your foot off and he takes a deep breath and looks at you with needy eyes. Keep looking at me like that. You think to yourself, you can not wait to get out of here. 

After dinner, you both walk hand in hand. There is an intense silence between you two, because someone is still recovering from your engagement at the restaurant. 

“Steven” you call in a questionnaire tone. 

“Hmm?” he responds bluntly, cat got your tongue?

“Can we go to your apartment?” you ask in a seductive tone, his heart stops at this, because after what you pulled tonight, he knows exactly what you want. 

“A-are you sure?” he asks, you know he is blushing even though you can’t see perfectly in the moonlight. 

“Yes, I’d love to meet Gus” you retort 

“Of course, he’ll love you” he says in an enthusiastic tone. Gus is getting a show tonight. 

You get to his apartment door as you both are talking about some random topic. He interrupts himself. 

“Uhm.. my apartment isn’t the cleanest” he says nervously, letting out a breathy laugh.

“It's okay, it can’t be that bad” you say, at least you hope it's not that bad. He opens the door and you step inside first and take everything in. It's not dirty, it's disheveled, just like him. There are mounds of books everywhere, papers scattered everywhere as well. You're never running out of things to look at. It's a big contrast to your minimalist apartment, but in a way, you love it, because it represents him perfectly. Most noteworthy however is the large patch of sand that encircles his bed. Actually, retracting that statement, the most noteworthy thing is the ankle restraint on his bed frame that sits hanging from his bed. Okay Steven, this is how you like it? Steven is in the background of your intake of his apartment trying to somehow clean the scattered papers and organize them a little bit so it startles him a bit when you call his name. 

“Steven” you say about to ask him a question. 

“Yes” he comes over to you when he realizes what you're staring at. His eyes go impossibly wide. 

“Oh!” he exclaims loudly, like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be.

“That's um- you see its- its for my sleeping disorder and I kinda need it or I’ll go somewhere when I’m asleep” you just stare at him on his ramble walking closer to him. 

“That's why I had that cut on me from falling” he states finally. You reach him and take his hand in yours. You are eye level with him now and you can tell his heart is doing somersaults by the look on his face, so flustered. You run your fingers through his hair and finally go in for a kiss. You kiss him painfully slowly, but when you deepen the kiss, he moans a little bit into your mouth. He grabs your face and you both start to walk to his bed, lips quickening their pace. He sits down next to you on the bed and you get up to straddle his lap. The sound your lips make moving together the only thing you can hear over the running water of Gus’s tank. He starts to take his suit jacket off as you fumble for his belt. After his suit jacket he takes off the shirt he has underneath as you watch. His biceps flex a bit while taking the clothing off and you stare down at his abs. You weren't expecting sweet Steven to have a body like this. You run your fingers over his bare chest as you look at his muscles. He stares at your hands gliding along his skin and back up at your face. His lips attach to your neck as he starts to kiss and suck just below your jaw. The sudden action makes you let out a breathy moan. You hold his shoulders as he makes his way down to your chest, you grind your hips once and he pulls back and looks at you. His eyes are different. They’re darker and more hooded. Steven is beyond fucked right now. You stand up and he takes this opportunity to remove his pants and shoes. You remove your heels while he does this and when he looks back up at you, you begin to slowly remove your dress. You take one strap off at a time while looking him dead in the eyes. You hold the dress for a moment right where he’s yearning to see. You drop your hands and let the dress fall from your chest as you shimmy out of the dress. He parts his lips a little bit and whimpers as he takes in the view. 

“Y/n you are so beautiful” he stares from your bare chest, down to your stomach, and finally at the black lacey pair of panties you had on. You smirk while you look down at his dick straining in his underwear and it is beyond hard, just as you expected. You walk over to him and straddle him again and start your attack on his lips again. You whisper in his ear. 

“Can I use that ankle restraint on you?” you ask him and all he can do is nod. He would let you do just about anything to him with no questions asked. You grabbed the restraint and locked his right ankle into place. You push him on his back and grind down on his dick through the fabric and he lets out a small groan. He places his hands on your hips and guides them back and forth on it as you watch his face as it contorts into pure neediness. Your needy clit is being stroked perfectly like this, making electric shocks run through your body. He's so needy that he could probably get off to you grinding on him the way you are now. He opens his eyes when you reach down and feel his dick through the cloth. He is certainly not small. The fabric is soaked with precum. You reach your hand underneath the band of his underwear and palm his dick in your hand as you bite your lip when he lets out a moan that makes you wetter than you previously were. You slide the article of clothing down slightly and he lifts himself up to fully take them off. His length is standing straight up, flush against his stomach. He whimpers and chokes up. 

“Can you sit on my face, please y/n” he is pleading. Almost begging as if you were to say no. You scoot up towards him and he grabs your hips when you were hesitant to sit completely on his face. Your clothed cunt sits on his nose as he looks up and down your body while stroking your thighs with both of his hands. 

“You look so pretty, fuck” he says muffled. He lifts your hips a bit so he can see your entrance as he moves your panties to the side. When he sees your soaked cunt he moans out loud and slips one of his hands over to start rubbing slowly on your clit. You look down at his hand moving slowly around your nerve as he watches you moan at his touch. He speeds up a little bit when you part your lips, you look at him right in the eyes. You sigh out loud when he removes his fingers and replaces them with his mouth. He kisses your folds slowly, his eyes flickered down enjoying the pleasure he's giving you. He darts his tongue out and starts to circle his tongue teasingly against your clit. You grab a fistful of his curls and tug, making him go faster. 

“Mmm, yes Steven '' you say as you grind your hips further into his face. He grips your ass with both hands so hard it might be as bruised as his knuckles were at work. He starts to suck at your clit causing your moans to get louder, getting closer to losing yourself right then and there. One of his hands goes missing from your ass and you start to hear a sloppy sound. You smirk as you realize what he’s doing. 

“You touching yourself to me Steven?” you ask teasingly, his only response is a deep moan against your clit sending vibrations throughout you. Your free hand that isn’t in his hair goes back and moves his hand out of the way so you can stroke him yourself. You both let out a low hum. He is starting to get more needy with his moans against your cunt, yours as well, and you hear the ankle restraint tug at the bed frame as his leg started to rise from the bed but snapped back into place. You swing your leg over his face so you're facing his dick. He replaces his mouth on your wet cunt and starts to lick around your folds again while you continue to stroke his dick. His dick is dripping with precum. The tip is bright red and needy. So you lick around the tip collecting the precum that has spilled. He has to stop working on your cunt as he moans when you suck the tip of his dick into your mouth. You go down on his dick as he breathes heavily against your cunt. You deepthroat as much as you can while stroking the rest that can’t fit. He can barely keep going on your cunt because his pleasure is overwhelming, especially coming from you. 

“Y/n I can’t, I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop” you stop at that and flip yourself so that you're facing him. You scramble to get your lace panties off and throw them to the side. You're both completely naked, staring at each other with lust. 

“You taste so good” he says after you kiss him tasting your own wetness on your tongue. You then line his dick up to your entrance teasing his tip inside your folds. He’s looking at you with hooded eyes, his lips soaked with your wetness, and his face flushed with extreme arousal. He is in need of it more than you, so you decide to tease him by only putting the tip in and slightly sliding down, making sure to not slide the whole thing in. He groans loudly and bucks his hips up for you and you gasp when his length goes almost all the way in. You decide to slide all the way down and he moans when the tip of his dick hits a spot deep inside you. You start to go up and down on his length slowly, painfully slow for him. You speed up when you wrap a hand around his neck, not tight, but applying slight pressure. He fills you up perfectly, and the pleasure it gives you makes your head spin. He throws his head back and grips your hips with all his strength trying to last for you. Your tits are bouncing in his face and the bed frame is starting to squeak and hit the wall as you rock faster on his length. 

“Fuck, y/n” he groans “p-please don’t stop-yes” he pleads as you start to go faster. You are barely handling yourself and you start to get sloppier with your movements and you moan loudly when he grabs both of your hips and starts to pound you from underneath. The ankle restraint can be heard repeatedly being tugged on as he moves his hips up into you. You wrap your hands in his hair as you moan in his ear, you start to see stars. Your orgasm is heavy and comes in waves. You moan so loud in Steven’s ear that he might complain about it later. But right now he doesn’t care. You are clenching around him as his moans become more frequent and you feel him twitch inside of you. You feel his cum spurt inside you as he moans your name and draws it out like it's a song. You fall on top of him and you both breathe heavily in each other's ear. You roll off of him and you both look at each other and smile. Steven leans down and takes the restraint off easily and turns back to you and lays down to kiss you again. You lay your head on his chest as he strokes your back with his fingers. 

“Steven” you ask as you look up at him. 

“Yeah?” 

“I never even got to meet Gus formally” you express, he laughs as you both look over to Gus. Poor Gus. 

“Gus, this is y/n” he says to him as the one finned fish turns and swims in the bright tank in the middle of the room. 

“Welp...hope he's alright with what he’s just seen” he states jokingly and you both laugh. Things go quiet for a bit when you notice his chest. 

“Can you tell me why you have scars on your chest?” you ask curiously, you didn’t want to bring it up earlier but there are scars on his chest, some look new too. You are able to see them more clearly now as the moonlight through the window illuminates them. He huffs at this, but relents. 

“You won’t believe me” he says back nervously. You look up at him and he thinks of a way to tell you, and in a stuttering, rambling mess of confusion, he tries to explain his life to you. About Marc, about the Egyptian God, and the mysterious third person that seems to also haunt his conscience.

[raebayhc]

Girls Night Out

warnings: implied virgin, fingering, lesbian implied, bi implied, public sex, smut, fluff, angst

word count: 2164

summary: you along with your groups of friends decide to have a girls' night for the first time in a while, things get heated and your friends end up taking turns using your body.

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It was a Thursday night and you along with the other ladies who went to the same college as you decided to go out and have a girls’ night. Yall planned on going to see a movie, going out for drinks, then finally retiring to Sasha’s barn where yall planned to stay up late telling spooky stories trying to freak one another out. Normally you wouldn’t agree to something like this because socially you were a lost cause, you had many friends and were very close to them. However, when it came to hanging out in large groups and even going out in public with the group, that’s when you started to get anxious. Your friends always had your back though and you knew that. Ultimately you decide not to fret too much and just have fun.

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It was the beginning of a very long night, you and pieck were roommates so yall got ready at the same time and left together to meet everyone else at the theatre. On the ride there pieck looked over to you and broke the silence- “if it becomes too much just let me know, I’m good to go home anytime.. Okay darling?” she patted your thigh and you nodded waiting for her warm hand to leave its place. It never did. She kept her hand on your thigh occasionally tapping to the beat of the music she turned on after yall briefly spoke. You felt your cheeks begin to warm as you peered out the window. Nobody within the group of friends knew you swung that way you wouldn’t dare tell them fearing the absolute worst. You knew they would love you no matter what and you never thought they would say anything hurtful but you still kept your little secret to yourself.

Piecks hand remained on you the whole car ride to the theatre. When yall arrived you hopped out of the car with intent... That intent being getting away from under piecks touch as you know you wouldn’t be able to hide your heavy breath for much longer. You played it off as getting “all excited” about seeing the movie when you really just wanted to escape. You waited as pieck slowly gathered her items and met you outside the car, yall then proceeded to walk through the glass doors into the theatre where the rest of the girls were already waiting.

“Yo what took yall so long??” Sasha said while stuffing her face full of popcorn. “Yeah, we thought we were gonna miss the movie because of you two” Ymir followed, whilst rolling her eyes. You look around to check everyone out, Historia and Ymir were clinging together, as usual, Sasha and Mikasa playing “hot hands” in the corner. You laughed as Mikasa gagged after Sasha got butter all over her hands. Pieck walked off to go meet hitch at the counter to get some candy. You giggled to yourself and told the girls that the movie was going to start soon and yall should probably head to yalls seats.

Finally, in yalls seats waiting for the movie to begin, you were sat between Sasha and Mikasa. You were definitely closer to these two than you were anyone else. Yall had been a trio since fourth grade and nothing could ever split yall apart. Nothing. All of the ladies were quite touchy with each other, it was all platonic of course. Why wouldn’t it be? Sasha snatched your right hand and hugged your shoulder burying her nose in the crook on your neck as a monster popped out at the screen. “Why would you choose a horror movie when you can't handle them” you whispered to Sasha to which she replied “because I like the way it makes me feel y/n, I get all tingly and itchy” you rolled your eyes holding back a chuckle so you wouldn’t disturb the others during the quiet scene.

You felt a slight tug at your left hand as Mikasa habitually grabs your hand. She tends to do that when she has nothing to do with her hands, it “helps her stay focused” she has explained to you a million times. Between Sashas breath on your neck and Mikasa drawing circles on your hand with her index you couldn’t help but squirm. You go to whisper something about the movie to Mikasa when she goes to do the same, your faces come within an inch of each other, noses barely touching you feel her breath out her nose as it fans across your lips. Your face turns bright pink as you halt in surprise. “I wanted to point out that actor….. Since we’ve spoken about them before…” she spoke softly. You replied with a small “me too…”. Yall have yet to part until you are broken up by screams as the movie takes a turn and Sasha yanks your arm “AHHHHH Y/N HELP!!!!!” Sasha screams in a high-pitched tone. You turn breaking your eye contact with Mikasa “Sasha! Be quiet we arent the only ones here!” you jab at her as you apologetically smile at the others in the theatre. You momentarily forgot about the moment you and Mikasa had until she takes her hand and places it on the back of your neck. Thumb swiping up and down, she pulls you a bit closer to whisper “awfully close weren’t we…” she lets that sentence linger before playfully giggling and removing her hand from your nape.

The movie was finally over and you were one of the last to leave your seat, since you decided to pick up all the popcorn Sasha had dropped after one of the jumpscares, you stand up, lifting your arms towards the ceiling, stretching and letting out a soft moan. You felt hands slither from the small of your back to the front of your hips “wow y/n, you have a hot moan. Whoever sleeps with you must be lucky” Ymir says before shifting you to the side to make way for her and historia. “Ugh, Ymir how many times do I have to tell you it’s not ladylike to talk about such things so casually” “I know I know I’m sorry... But it had to be pointed out” Ymir shrugged “she does have a point y/n.. You have an attractive voice it makes sense your moans would be..” historia pitches in and she looks you up and down before continuing “h o t” she lingers on the t a bit before moving on. You could feel your arousal pooling. The ladies seem different tonight... Maybe it’s just you... Maybe it’s not... They walk out and you follow suit.

You decide to ride with hitch since yall haven’t spoken a lot tonight, you ask her about life and she goes on to rant about her boyfriend noting that he’s not good in bed and she hates his haircut, she finishes her rant off with “ugh maybe I should just switch to girls! You’d date me right y/n?” you pause for a moment then reply with a simple “who wouldn’t!” a simple sentence yet complex at the same time. She turns to you and examines your face “you know I think id be a top if I were with a girl… in fact, you’d make a perfect bottom for me..” her eyes linger a bit too long, your skin crawling whilst illuminated by the red light yall were stopped at. It flashes green and her eyes return to the road “of course if I was single and into girls hahaha” she plays it off.

Yall arrive at the bar shortly after Sasha and Mikasa who had taken the same car and followed by Ymir who carpooled with historia. Mikasa and Sahsa hand out everyone’s paper wristbands, Sasha stops in front of you takes your hand, and putting it on for you. She didn’t do it for anyone else… just you. You decided you were overthinking and you moved on, walking into the club you were bombarded with loud music busybodies and the smell of alcohol. You were stressed, so many people, so many noises, so many smells. It was overwhelming, to say the least. Pieck noticed your uneasiness and placed her hand on the small of your back, she led you to a dark hallway filled with heavy pheromones and kissing partners, past that was a bathroom to which she leads you, pushed you in, followed after you, and locked the door. “Wh-” pieck covered your mouth with a single finger, “I noticed your stress, we can leave if you need y/n” a look of sorrow on her face. “No I’m fine it was just a lot at once I’m sorry, I’m okay now” you push out with a soft smile. Her body moving closer to you she wraps an arm around you pulling you closer “baby… tell me if you need anything, mmkay?” she purrs into your neck giving it a soft peck. Your arousal beginning to pool again you squeeze your thighs.

She excuses herself letting you go and leaving the bathroom. Turning around to face the mirror you scold yourself for acting the way you are when your friends are just being nice, they’d probably feel so grossed out if they knew your cunt was getting all nice and soaked for them, you thought. “Maybe I just need to relieve some stress… yeah that's all it is… built-up stress…” you hiked up the mini skirt that you decided to wear today above your hips and you pulled your new pink lace panties to the side. Beginning to slide your fingers over your unclothed clit the door rattles “hey bear, pieck said you weren’t feeling well so I brought you a dri-” historias sentence is cut short when she looks up to see you sitting on the counter sprawled open like a book. “I’m so so-” you begin before she hurriedly shuts and locks the door behind her.

“I- i- can explain-” she cuts you off before you get a chance to explain “oh bear..” a slight purr in her voice “who knew you had such a perfect pussy?.. All this time you’ve been hiding it from me?” she pouts, you’ve never seen her act this way much less talk this way before. Shocked by her actions you freeze, she steps closer and peers up into your eyes, lifting a hand to show she has her pinky and index slightly bent, she speaks “..may I?” if this was any other night you would freak out, apologize, get dressed quickly and leave, but for some reason you cant. “Please do” a slight whininess in your voice. Taking her ring and middle finger she traces a line from your entrance to your clit making you twitch once she reaches the small bud. She chuckles a bit and continues, pushing her middle finger into you, slowly but surely, you lay your head back resting it on the mirror. A low groan leaves her throat as you tighten around her finger “y/n… can I ask you a question? Hmm?” “nghh yes” you manage to push out through cries and moans. “You’re a virgin aren’t you, bear? Nobody has ever touched this perfect little body. Nobody has ever stuck their fingers in you either, huh?” you nod trying to keep sane while her pace quickens, you squint your eyes shut forcing tears out and down the sides of your face. Your response influenced her as she moved faster prodding another finger at your entrance and pushing it in with her other. “Ahh fuck ‘ri’” RI was a name you’ve called her since yall first met, originally made because you couldn’t remember her full name but it kind of just stuck throughout the years. “I’m gonna- I think I’m g-” cut off by the feeling of her warm tongue prodding your clit, dangerously licking and lapping, boy did she know how to please, and that she did. “RI oh shit” you grab a fistful of her hair as your orgasm hits, continuing to finger fuck you and lightly lick your sensitive bud she helps you ride out your high. “..- first, right?” you couldn’t make out what she said through your hazy mindset “what RI?” she repeats “I was your first, right??” you nod with lazy eyes, she smiles a big smile then gives you a sloppy kiss, you groan into her lips.

She cleans you up then helps you off the counter. Now realizing what had just happened you panic pushing out a quick “oh my goodness ri I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to put you in that position” she chuckles “don’t worry bear there are plenty of other positions I plan to have you in” before you could really digest that she tugs at your wrist leading you out to the main hallway and back to your groups of friends. The night has only begun….

THE END Pt. 1

this is my first fanfic ever so I'm sorry if it's bad!! I will continue to improve trust me! also, this will be a multi-part series so stay updated!

[junghelioseok]

clandestine. | 06

↳ forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

◇ jungkook x reader ◇ smut | fluff | brother’s best friend!au ◇ 7.4k [6/6]

notes: we’ve reached the end at last!!! thanks for sticking around through all the sporadic updates, and i hope you enjoy this final chapter!

warnings: some soft, soft smut.

⇢ 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 

The day before your scheduled return to Seoul, your parents decide to throw a joint party with the Jeons. From your bedroom window, you can see the plastic tables and chairs scattered across your adjoining lawns, the tarps and poles that will soon become makeshift pavilions lying in the grass. Though a row of low bushes divides your property, a small stone footpath weaves between the green leaves. You watch Mr. Jeon make his way into your yard, joining your father to unfurl a sign that’s emblazoned with Bon Voyage, {Name}! in bright blue print.

“Noona!” Jimin bursts into your bedroom with zero preamble, the door slamming into the wall behind it. You jump at the sudden intrusion, and flinch when he bounds across the room in two steps and grabs you by the shoulders.

“Ow, Chim,” you grumble, trying and failing to push him away. “Knock much?”

“Help,” he whines, trying to pull you to your feet. “I put too much salt in the marinade, and I just spilled Coke all over the counter. Please come help me.”

You sigh as he casts you the most pathetic look he’s capable of mustering, complete with a quivering bottom lip. Wiggling out of his iron grip at last, you grab him by the wrist and drag him out of your room. “Fine,” you tell him as you pull him downstairs. “You’re lucky I like you sometimes.”

“Love you too!” Jimin singsongs. He swoops in to plant a too-wet kiss on your cheek, and when you squirm in disgust he just giggles and blows you another.

The kitchen, upon your arrival, is empty. “Where’s Mom?” you ask as you grab a rag, tossing it over to your brother so he can clean up the spilled soda.

“She left a few minutes ago,” he replies, sopping up the mess and flinching when some splashes down from the counter onto the linoleum floor. “I think she went to the store to pick up a few things.”

“Food things?” you ask dubiously, eyeing the sizable pile of vegetables and meat on the counter. “Is this not enough? Is the entire neighborhood invited to this thing?”

“You know Mom,” he replies, shrugging. “Just let her have this. She misses having another girl in the house when you’re away. Says Dad and I gang up on her.”

You chuckle. “That sounds about right. On the bright side, though, she only has to deal with you for a few more months.”

“Jeez, that’s weird to think about.” Jimin sidles up behind you and settles his chin on your shoulder. “We’re going to be at the same university soon.”

“Yeah, because you’re a little copycat,” you tease, reaching back to flick him on the forehead. “What’s next? Are you going to start following me around the sandbox again? Come crying to me when someone’s mean to you?”

“Yeah, right.” Jimin steps back and puffs his chest out dramatically. “I’m going to protect you from all those weird college guys, remember? Who else is gonna do it if not me?”

In an instant, your mind goes to Jungkook. Your throat goes dry, and thankfully the jingle of keys in the front door saves you from needing to respond. Jimin’s attention is diverted when your mother steps through with an armful of shopping bags, and you take a moment to shove away all thoughts of your neighbor before following after your brother to help her unpack.

You haven’t seen much of Jungkook since your impromptu sleepover in his room. As your time at home winds to a close, your parents have been increasingly adamant to spend as much time together as possible. Family game nights became routine, and although Jungkook has joined you on a couple occasions, Jimin has seemingly made it his personal goal to ensure that you don’t spend a single second alone with your dark-haired neighbor. Certainly, you’ve texted a bit, but Jungkook’s been picking up more shifts at the restaurant lately and you often see him through your bedroom window returning home after a long dinner shift.

Jimin’s voice draws you out of your thoughts. “Huh?” you ask, blinking, and your brother shoots you an unimpressed look.

“I said, I’m going out back to help Dad with the grill,” he repeats. “Can you bring the cooler out?”

“Oh!” You glance over at the cooler on the ground, filled to the brim with beer and soda. Jimin has a bag of ice in his arms, and you quickly follow him out into the backyard, wheeling the cooler behind you. Together, the two of you push it into an unobtrusive corner of the back porch, and Jimin curses when he upends the bag of ice into it and spills nearly a third in the process.

“Smooth,” you remark.

“Like you could do any better,” is his reply.

It’s just after one o’clock, the sun beaming bright in the cloudless blue sky, when people begin trickling into the backyard where your father and Mr. Jeon have started grilling. You spot Taemin and Minho from where you’re perched on the porch steps, and grin when they wave and begin heading in your direction.

“Heading back to the big city so soon?” Minho asks as he comes to a stop, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “We’re gonna miss you around here.”

“You know you’re always welcome to visit,” you tell him with a smile. “Besides, I’ll be back. I do like to see my family every now and then, you know.”

“When exactly are you leaving tomorrow? Taemin asks curiously.

“Bright and early in the morning,” you reply. “I want to have plenty of time to get settled before I start interning on Monday.”

Minho gives you a squeeze. “You’ll kill it. I know you will.”

“Thanks,” you tell him. You’re about to say more—ask about the rest of their summer plans, maybe—when you spot a familiar dark head of hair exiting the back door of the Jeons’ house. Jungkook is wearing a collared shirt the color of sunshine, the sleeves rolled to his elbows to expose vascular forearms and the silver watch on his wrist. His faded jeans have a rip in the left knee, and you swallow when your gaze automatically trails down to the defined muscle of his thigh, a peek of skin visible through the denim.

Across the yard, your eyes meet. He raises a hand in greeting, his watch glinting in the sun, and you wave back. Everything else seems to fade into the background—Taemin and Minho, the hubbub of the partygoers, even the sizzle of the grill. Jungkook is walking in your direction now, and your throat goes oddly dry at the thought of talking to him face-to-face after nearly a week of intermittent texts and occasional glimpses. Your fingers itch to run through the soft hair at the nape of his neck, and your body craves the feeling of his skin against your own. You’d even settle for a simple kiss—the press of his mouth and the slick of his tongue, his palms settling on your hips or looping around to the small of your back to pull you in close.

Needless to say, it’s been far too long since you and Jungkook last slept together. You wonder, vaguely, if there’s any way the two of you might be able to sneak away from the party and head somewhere a little quieter. One last handsy makeout session in his backseat, and one last chance for him to breach your walls with his cock. One last fix of the drug called Jungkook, before you return to your life in Seoul and try to forget the boundaries you’ve crossed in the last few weeks.

Because at the end of the day, Jungkook is your brother’s best friend, and therefore is off-limits. And as if Jimin himself is listening in on your thoughts, your little brother comes bounding out of nowhere, intercepting Jungkook on his path to you and dragging him away to help make more meat skewers for the grill.

The party continues. More people arrive, and you do your best to converse with everyone between bites of food. Many family friends have come out to wish you well, most of whom you haven’t seen in several years, so you put on your best smile and weather the innumerable comments about how much you’ve grown up since you last met. Off in the distance, you spot Jungkook chatting with Junghyun, who has driven in from downtown Busan. The elder Jeon brother has already wished you good luck with your internship, pulling you into a friendly hug when he first arrived, and you would’ve had to be blind to miss Jungkook’s penetrating stare as you hugged him back.

You’re returning from a bathroom break, easing the back door shut, when you are assailed by a tangle of limbs and excited cries. You end up with a faceful of strawberry blonde hair, and laughingly groan as you extricate yourself from the hug, offering a beaming Chaeyoung, Jisoo, and Lisa a grin. “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Lisa grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a little shake. “You’re leaving tomorrow! When will you be back again?”

“Winter, definitely,” you promise. “Maybe the summer too, if I don’t have anything else going on.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Jungkook again. He’s looking in your direction, his gaze flitting between the half-eaten burger in his hand and where you’re standing on the back porch with the girls, as if he doesn’t want to get caught staring. The party has been underway for nearly two hours now, and you haven’t even come close to having a conversation with your dark-haired neighbor. It seems as though anytime Jungkook comes within speaking distance, he’s interrupted by friends, family, and at one point, even his family’s dog. Gureum has been a part of Jungkook’s family for as long as you can remember, and though he’s getting rather old, he’s still happily meandering around the yard today. You’ve already given in to his pleading face twice and offered him a bit of food from your plate, and you’ve watched plenty of others do the same. A quick scan of the yard reveals that the little white dog is now fast asleep in a sunny patch of grass, and you chuckle to yourself before your gaze finds Jungkook again. Your eyes meet, just for a second.

“{Name}, honey, can you come here for a second?”

You turn at the sound of your mother’s voice. “Sure,” you tell her, excusing yourself from the group of girls to follow her inside to the kitchen. “What is it?”

Your mom hands you a pile of small paper plates and plastic cutlery. “I’m bringing out the cake,” she says. “Can you put those out for me?”

You nod, watching as she picks up the cake. It’s an impressive two-tiered confection, frosted pale purple and decorated with pink cherry blossoms and the words Bon Voyage! in flowing white script. You make sure to hold the door open for your mother as she exits the house on your heels, and duck your head in embarrassment when a few of your neighbors start clapping at your arrival.

The cake is cut and distributed, and you take your piece over to a shady spot beneath the awning of one of the pavilions your father has assembled. Jimin joins you, wiping a frosting-covered finger on your nose, and you squeal and wipe at it furiously with a napkin before taking revenge. Slowly, the afternoon progresses into early evening, and the party begins to wind to a close. Friends and neighbors begin to trickle out, wishing you well before taking their leave. At the far end of the yard, you see Jungkook talking to Chaeyoung, and wonder what the two could possibly have to say to each other before Taemin and Minho draw your attention away.

“We gotta head out,” Minho says, coming to a stop before you and pulling you into a hug.

Taemin nods, tugging you into an embrace as well. “We’ll see you again soon though, yeah? We’re definitely going to come up to visit you guys at some point.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you tell him. “You’re crashing at Jimin and Jungkook’s though. I’m not taking you in.”

“Cruel, but fair,” Minho says with a laugh. “See ya then, Noona.”

“See you.”

The two depart, and you begin gathering up your used utensils and plates, seeking about for a trash can. You smile at your dad as he walks by, and scratch a sleepy Gureum behind the ears as you pass him. Just as you’ve finally found a trash can and dropped your garbage inside, however, a voice stops you in your tracks.

“Hey, Noona.”

Your heartbeat quickens. Slowly, you turn around, coming face to face with none other than Jungkook himself. His dark hair is ruffled by the breeze, and his silver hoop earrings glint in the late afternoon sun. Tentatively, you offer him a small smile, and he hesitates for a moment before smiling back.

“Hey.”

“You said that already,” you point out, trying to quell the sudden nervousness in your belly and swallowing down whatever moisture is left in your mouth. “Fun party, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook nods. “Really fun. And the food was great.”

You chuckle. “Yeah. We have our dads to thank for that.”

“Definitely.”

A beat of silence passes, and then two. Jungkook is scuffing his heel against the grass, one hand darting up to scratch his ear, and you are just beginning to wonder at his uncharacteristic awkwardness when he suddenly pulls a bag from behind his back.

“Here,” he says, practically shoving it into your hands. “I—I mean, we—got you a gift. From my family. And me.”

Blinking, you peer down at the green tissue paper peeking out of the top of the bag. “Oh, wow. You… you guys really shouldn’t have.”

“It was my mom’s idea,” Jungkook mumbles, looking anywhere but at you. “You can open it now if you want, though.”

You do. Peeling back the tissue paper reveals two items inside—one of which is a lovely leather-bound planner, complete with a calendar and to-do lists and pages for notes. The other is a small canvas, and your mouth falls open when you see what’s painted across the surface.

It’s the lake house. Behind it, you can see lush green hills and trees, all bordering the rippling expanse of blue water. Jungkook has captured the scene at high noon when the sun is at its peak in the sky, glinting off the lake like diamonds. Off to one side, you spot the canoe roped to the dock.

“Wow,” you breathe, awestruck. “Jungkook, this is beautiful. I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s no big deal,” he says, shrugging and scratching the back of his neck. “I had to rush it a little, between work and all. It could’ve been better.”

“It’s perfect,” you tell him, running a fingertip across the canvas. You’ve always known that Jungkook has a talent for drawing, but you’ve never seen him use paint as his medium of choice until now. “Really. I love it, Jungkook. I’m going to hang it up in my dorm as soon as I get back.”

“Back,” Jungkook echoes. “Right.”

And before you can reply—before you can even inhale to speak—he’s pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms looping around your waist and settling there.

“Good luck with everything,” he says once he’s pulled back. And then he’s turning on his heel and walking away, and you’re left to wonder whether these past few weeks were simply a passing tryst after all.

///

As it turns out, your internship is more than enough to keep your mind from straying toward a certain dark-haired young man. Two months after Jungkook left you high and dry, you’re working harder than you ever have in your life. Your mornings are early and your afternoons run into evenings more often than not. “At least you’re getting paid, though,” Namjoon points out, glancing up from where he’s sitting on the couch when you stumble into your shared dorm one particularly late night. “You could’ve been one of the unlucky bastards who got stuck doing unpaid labor at their internships.”

“Oh, good. At least they’re working me to the bone ethically,” you snort, accepting the wine he hands over. Trust Namjoon to have an extra glass at the ready. Your suitemate, despite his flaws, always seems to know when you need a pick-me-up, and you suppose you can forgive his clumsiness and messiness for that. If he keeps it up, you may even start looking past the heart attacks he causes you every time he enters the kitchen and so much as looks at a knife.

Namjoon chuckles and tops off his own wineglass. “So now what? You hungry?”

“Starving,” you admit. “What are you thinking tonight? Pizza? Chinese?”

“Thai? I’ve been craving it lately.”

“I can do Thai.” You lean in closer as he pulls up the delivery menu on his laptop, pointing to what you want before sitting back and letting him place the order. “Can you get me an iced tea, too?

“Two iced teas, coming right up,” he replies. “You wanna start thinking about tonight’s feature presentation?”

Flopping onto your side, you reach into the bag you dropped on the floor and fish out your own laptop. You select a film from Netflix as Namjoon fetches his wallet to pay for your food, and the two of you settle in to wait as the opening credits of Disney’s Hercules roll.

“I’m not a good singer,” Namjoon cautions as the Muses begin their introductory monologue. “I just want you to know that beforehand. But out of all the Disney films? This soundtrack is unmatched.”

“Damn right,” you reply, clinking your glass against his. “Best soundtrack ever. We’ll both sound like dying cats, and I for one can’t wait.”

Namjoon laughs and leans over to flick off the lights. The room goes dark and the music begins, and you’re both singing along before you even hit the chorus. Spending time with Namjoon is comfortable, and though you’ve already lived together through the entirety of your first year of school, these past two summer months have strengthened your friendship tenfold. He’s almost like a brother by this point, and you wonder, vaguely, whether Jimin would get along with him anywhere near as well as you do.

As if summoned, your phone goes off. Jimin’s name lights up your screen, and you frown curiously at it before unlocking the device and swiping open the message.

[7:56pm] Chimchim: miss me yet? 😚

[7:56pm] You: no way, weirdo

[7:57pm] You: what do you even want anyway? sure you’re not the one missing me?

Immediately, your phone buzzes with a response.

[7:57pm] Chimchim: seriously? offensive

[7:57pm} Chimchim: orientation’s in less than a week or have u forgotten already?? good thing i’m reminding u

Your heart skips a beat in your chest when you realize that you had, in fact, forgotten. You remember your own college orientation vividly—a jam-packed weekend filled with building tours and ample opportunities to talk to current students. Several of your friends, you’d first met that weekend as you all tried to navigate a new chapter of your lives—Namjoon included. It’s how the two of you ended up living together—jammed into a suite with two others who thankfully meshed perfectly with the both of you. Neither Hoseok nor Jennie are here for the summer, but you’ve kept in touch while apart. Both of them poke relentless fun at Namjoon for opting to take summer classes, and you never hesitate to join in on the lighthearted teasing.

[7:58pm] You: oh yeah lol

Your response is casual and calm, but your heart rate is anything but. Jimin coming to orientation means Jungkook is coming too, and the thought of seeing him sends an anxious flurry of butterflies aflight in your stomach. You remember texting him the day after you came back—just a simple photo of his painting, hung proudly on the wall above your desk. He responded with a string of thumbs-up emojis, and that had been that. You’ve barely heard a word from him since, and Jimin’s occasional texts and social media posts are the only reason you know he’s still alive. Hesitantly, you type out another message, thumb hovering briefly over the send button before hitting it.

[7:58pm] You: you and jungkook are driving up, right?

[7:59pm] Chimchim: yep! road trip

[7:59pm] Chimchim: still not convinced jk’s car will make it all the way tho lmao

You think back to Jungkook’s beat-up sedan with its sputtering engine and scratchy seats, and the ominous way the passenger side window sometimes rattled if you slammed the door too hard. Can’t blame you for having doubts, you write back, earning yourself a hearty LMAOOO in response. And then:

[8:01pm] Chimchim: i’ll probably have to do most of the driving anyway

You frown, brows furrowing. Why’s that?

[8:02pm] Chimchim: just a hunch. jk’s been weird lately

[8:02pm] You: …weird how?

[8:02pm] Chimchim: just weird. a little distracted, maybe? he doesn’t answer me when i ask him whats wrong

[8:03pm] You: how long has he been weird?

[8:03pm} Chimchim: idk 🤷‍♂️

[8:03pm] Chimchim: 2 days, maybe 3? i think he might be worried about orientation or college or something. either way i don’t trust him to operate a motor vehicle rn

Your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth as you consider your brother’s revelation. It’s perfectly natural to be nervous about something new, but you still can’t help but wonder if Jungkook’s strange behavior might have anything to do with seeing you again. But before you can dwell on it more, your phone buzzes again in your palm.

[8:04pm] Chimchim: i mean srsly he didn’t even hit on mina when we ran into her at jin’s the other day. do u remember her? the girl from the bbq place we went to for grad dinner??

[8:04pm] Chimchim: but on the bright side, it looks like he and chae made up. about time, tbh. things were really awkward for a while

[8:05pm] Chimchim: wait u knew about them, right? they dated for a while?

You take a deep breath before responding, the gears of your brain whirring as you fight to process all of the information he’s dumped on you. Yeah, you write back. Chae told me. They’re okay now?

[8:06pm] Chimchim: yeah. i think they talked at your going away thing

The memory of them chatting in your parents’ backyard resurfaces, and a rush of relief follows it. Even though your conversation with Chaeyoung at the mall confirmed that she was no longer angry with Jungkook, the guilt of sneaking around with him continued to linger in the back of your mind. You’re definitely going to buy her a box of cookies from Kim’s Kitchen as an apology the next time you see her. Maybe even two.

After a few more texts, your conversation with Jimin peters out. He signs off, citing a house party he has to start getting ready for, and you settle back in to watch the rest of the movie with Namjoon, smiling reassuringly when he shoots you a curious look and mouths, everything okay?

Everything is okay, you decide. Jungkook’s weird behavior isn’t your problem, and there’s not a whole lot you could do even if you wanted to, considering how little you’ve spoken in the last eight weeks. That doesn’t stop you from opening up your messages and scrolling down to Jungkook’s name, though. It doesn’t stop you from opening up the last conversation you had—something about a particularly annoying customer at Jin’s restaurant—and scrutinizing every word.

Later that night, just as you’re brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed, your phone buzzes again. The name attached to the text immediately sends your heart into your throat, and you shakily towel off your hands before swiping it open.

[12:25am] Jungkook: i mis s yuo.

Drunk, the little voice in your brain whispers. He’s drunk. Belatedly, you remember the party Jimin had mentioned, and realize that Jungkook must be there as well. Alcohol has clearly loosened him up, enough to instigate this unexpected sentiment, but you are painfully sober. At a loss, you stare at his message until your screen goes dark. Irritably, you wake it up again, unlocking the phone so you can stare some more, and after what feels like an eternity, you type out a response.

[12: 28am] You: drink some water, jungkook

He doesn’t respond. You wait for five minutes, and then ten, but your phone screen remains obstinately dark and devoid of new notifications. Climbing into bed, you check one last time, but there’s still no response from him.

A resigned sigh leaves your lips as you turn off your bedside lamp and plug in your phone to charge. Sinking down into the mattress, you push away all thoughts of Jeon Jungkook as you close your eyes and wait for sleep to come.

///

On Friday night, you once again find yourself working late. Thankfully, Jimin and Jungkook aren’t due to arrive until later in the evening, so you still have plenty of time to change into comfier clothes and eat something before you have to play host.

Or at least, that’s what you thought. When you swing open the front door of your home, however, you’re greeted by two extra pairs of shoes—one of which is a certain individual’s signature black Timberlands, scuffed and worn from years of use. “Joonie?” you call cautiously, toeing off your loafers and skirting around the corner to poke your head into the kitchen. “Are you home?”

No reply. You wander a little further, entering the living room, and that’s where you’re greeted by the sight of your suitemate, his sheepish grin flanked on either side by two very familiar faces.

“Noona!” Jimin is grinning from ear to ear, and immediately skips forward to smoosh your cheeks between his palms. “We got here early!”

You slap his hands away and poke your fingertips into his ribs. “I can see that,” you retort. “What I don’t get is why you didn't bother to tell me.”

Jimin shrugs. “Surprise?”

You sigh and turn instead to Namjoon, who’s watching your exchange with an amused smile. “Thanks for getting them settled in,” you tell him gratefully. “You should’ve called me, though. I would’ve tried to get off work early if I’d known.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” Namjoon waves you off. “They got here about half an hour ago, so it wouldn’t have made much difference, anyway.”

“Still, let me thank you,” you insist. “Dinner’s on me tonight, since I have to feed these heathens anyway. Do you want to order something in? Go out?”

“I’m okay either way,” Namjoon says, shrugging, and you turn to Jimin and Jungkook questioningly.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Jimin says. “I think we’re both pretty tired from the drive, so staying in might be nice.”

“Anything’s fine.” Jungkook is staring down at his right hand as if he’s trying to crack a secret code etched in his fingerprints, and when he speaks, his voice is soft. “Whatever you want, Noona.”

You haven’t forgotten about his text from a few days ago, and judging by the way he can’t even look you in the eye, neither has he. It’s strange seeing him here now—wearing ripped jeans and a black t-shirt like he so often does, his feet encapsulated in plain white socks. His hair has grown out since you last saw him, leaving only the barest glimpse of his silver earrings visible beneath the dark, shaggy locks. You can’t help but wonder what it would be like to run your fingers through it, but quickly quash that train of thought before it can progress any further.

The group eventually settles on ordering pizza, which you order and pay for on your phone. Conversation flows easily as Jimin, Jungkook, and Namjoon get to know each other, and when the food arrives, Namjoon pulls out his collection of board games. The remainder of the evening passes in a haze of pizza and game tournaments, and it’s only when midnight has come and gone that you decide to call it a night. Jungkook and Jimin settle into the two empty bedrooms—Jungkook in Hoseok’s and Jimin in Jennie’s—and you bid everyone goodnight before retiring to your own bed.

You don’t miss the way Jungkook’s gaze lingers on your retreating figure, but he doesn’t say anything and neither do you. He’ll be busy with all the orientation events scheduled tomorrow, and you’re planning to spend a good chunk of the day running errands that you don’t have time for on weekdays. The question of why he’d texted you that night remains on your mind, but you don’t want to ask. And you especially don’t want to ask why he’d never responded after that first message. Confrontation has never been your style, and with any luck, you’ll be able to avoid spending extended periods of time with him altogether.

With any luck, this weekend will pass with no further incident, and you’ll be able to spend the remaining few weeks of your summer in peace.

///

It’s just after two o’clock in the afternoon when you return to your dormitory, a grocery bag clutched in each hand and a tote bag draped over one shoulder. You’ve finished up with all your errands for the day, and even managed to get some reading done for one of your upcoming fall classes. Dropping your bags in the kitchen, you stretch your arms overhead lazily before starting to unpack your groceries. Namjoon is holed up in the library working on an essay, and Jimin and Jungkook don’t appear to be around either. A moment of rare quiet is welcome in your normally hectic life, and you take the opportunity to put some music on and change into your comfiest shorts and a tank top.

You’ve just finished popping some popcorn and are settling onto your bed to watch some Netflix when someone clears their throat from your doorway. Startled, you look up, your eyes locking on Jungkook standing there. He’s wearing a loose gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants, and you swallow when you see the way he’s rolled up the sleeves to expose vascular forearms and the silver watch on his wrist. Jungkook blinks at you silently from behind his dark fringe of hair, and a beat passes before he clears his throat and speaks.

“Hey.”

You straighten up into a seated position, crossing your legs and plopping the bowl of popcorn in your lap. “Hi.”

Jungkook hesitates, then shoves both hands into his pockets. “Can… can we talk?”

“Sure.” You incline your head. “Talk.”

Your curt tone doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Awkwardly, he shuffles his feet for a moment before scratching behind his neck and ruffling his already tousled hair further. “My phone died,” he says, and you blink confusedly at him, twice, before responding.

“What?”

Jungkook winces but presses on nonetheless. “My phone,” he explains. “It died the other night. I was going to charge it before the party, but I forgot to plug it in and then it was too late. I didn’t—” He sighs. “I would’ve texted you back, otherwise.”

Belatedly, you realize he’s talking about his text from a few nights ago and why he never responded. His reasoning is relatively sound, at least, but you still have an unanswered question. “Why?” you ask, your voice soft. “Why did you text me that night? I don’t hear from you for weeks, and then you message me that out of the blue? Why?”

“Fuck, I know.” Jungkook takes two steps into your bedroom, before he seemingly thinks better of it and takes a step back. “I shouldn’t have done it. I should’ve texted you more, or earlier, but—” Another sigh, and this time he rakes his hands through his hair and sends his dangling earrings tinkling. “I’m sorry. I really am. I was being a coward, and…”

Jungkook trails off, and you see that his attention has flitted elsewhere. He’s staring at the painting of the lake house, still displayed prominently above your desk, and you see the gears in his head whirring before he speaks again.

“You… you still have that hanging up there?”

You glance at the painting before looking back at him. “Well, yeah. Of course I do. It reminds me of home.”

It reminds you of him, too, but you don’t voice that particular thought aloud. Instead you turn your attention back to your increasingly fidgety companion, leaning back on your hands and regarding him with your head tilted curiously.

“What were you saying about being a coward? What are you afraid of, Jungkook?”

Jungkook rubs his jaw and sucks in a deep breath. “You,” he finally answers, after several beats that feel like several lifetimes. “I’m afraid of losing you. And I feel like I already might have, especially since we left things so weird at the party. I should’ve…” He shakes his head. ”I should’ve said something sooner. I should’ve told you how I really feel, but I was stupid and scared and I just couldn’t find the right time to do it.”

Your breath catches. Your mouth goes dry and your chest feels tight, and when you try to speak, your tongue feels like sandpaper. “I—” you begin, and it’s all you manage to get out. Jungkook is murmuring your name in a voice so gentle that your heart skips two whole beats, and when you look at him again he is much, much closer than before.

“But I guess late is better than never, right?” Jungkook breathes. Stopping at the edge of your bed, he drops to his knees, and you don’t protest when he takes your hands and cups them protectively between his own. “It’s you, {Name}. It’s always been you. I tried to forget about my feelings when you left for Seoul—tried to convince myself that it was just a stupid crush—but nothing I did worked. I couldn’t forget about you. And then you came back, and I just knew.” Gently, he traces a fingertip across your knuckles before looking up and meeting your gaze in earnest. “I’m in love with you, {Name}. I’ve been in love with you for years, and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. And… and I really hope that I haven’t fucked everything up by telling you this now.”

“You—” Your voice sticks in your throat, and you swallow thickly before trying again. “You haven’t. I… I like you, Jungkook. I like you so, so much, and I think I owe you an apology for trying to push you away so much. It’s just that these feelings… they’re so new. And I—well, I don’t know if I love you yet, but I think that I definitely could.”

“Then that’s good enough for me,” he replies, his face stretching into a wide, crinkly eyed grin. “As long as you agree to be my girlfriend, and let me have the chance to make you fall for me.” And when you nod, giggling, Jungkook leans in and presses his mouth to yours.

The kiss is soft and sweet, and lasts several moments before a sobering thought enters your head. You break away, frowning, and Jungkook’s brow furrows as he takes in your expression.

“What’s wrong?”

You bite your lip, worrying at the delicate skin. “This… thing. This relationship—what if it doesn’t work? I mean, god, you’re Jimin’s best friend in the entire world. What if we have an argument? What if—what if we break up?”

“We won’t,” Jungkook replies confidently, lacing his fingers with yours before leaning forward to nuzzle his nose against yours affectionately. Instinct has you leaning into him, seeking out proper contact, and you feel his lips curl into a smile as he indulges you with yet another kiss.

“You can’t know that for sure,” you murmur when you break apart, but your voice is readily lost in the huff of laughter that escapes your companion.

“Maybe not for sure,” he says. “But I’ve loved you since I was about eight, and I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon.”

This time, when your lips meet, there’s a bit more heat behind it. Jungkook curls a hand around your nape to draw you in close, and licks sweetly into your mouth when you part for him. He’s quick to press you down onto your mattress, and you sigh as he trails down your body and takes the straps of your tank top with him. The material falls off your shoulders, leaving just enough room to tug the rest of the shirt down to your waist, and he groans when your bare breasts are freed.

“No bra? Fuck, you’re killing me.”

You arch beneath him, huffing out a breathless little laugh when he seizes the opportunity to envelop a nipple into his mouth. His fingers find the other—squeezing and rubbing and tweaking until you’re quivering in his grasp. “Jungkook,” you breathe, waiting until he lets out a soft hum of acknowledgment. “Jimin—he could come back any minute. Maybe we shouldn’t do this right now.”

Jungkook glances up from where he’s exploring the underside of your breasts, tracing the soft swell of delicate skin with his lips and tongue. “Jimin,” he says, “is at a special session for his major. He won’t be back for hours, so why don’t you relax and let me make you feel good, hmm?”

And, without even waiting for an answer, he drops down to his knees and digs his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts. Your legs are dangling off the edge of the bed, and Jungkook easily tugs the material off them, taking your panties right along with it. Tossing them aside, he doesn’t hesitate to spread your legs and slot himself into the newly created space. His tongue darts out to moisten his lips, and your breath hitches when you glance down the length of your body and see the ravenous glint in his eyes.

There’s no doubt in your mind that you’re wet enough to take his cock right now. You can feel the slick gathering between your legs, and the smirk on Jungkook’s face tells you that he’s noticed it too. Teasingly, he presses an experimental fingertip to your clit, watching in satisfaction as your hips buck off the mattress at the flare of pleasure. Then he’s sliding down, sinking a lone finger into your entrance and curling upward to find the soft spot that he knows will unravel you in a matter of minutes. A gasp escapes you when he finds it, your hips rising again, and he soothes you with a warm palm on your thigh and a sweet kiss to your hipbone.

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly Jungkook is able to build up your orgasm, but then again, you suppose you shouldn’t be surprised. He’s always been a quick study, and you’ve never been sure whether it’s stubbornness or determination that drives him to excel at his passions. Here and now, with two of his fingers buried inside your cunt and a third teasing its way in, you don’t even care which it is. All that matters is the pressure building in the pit of your belly, and the way Jungkook keeps murmuring your name and encouraging you to cum for me, princess. It’s enough to push you over the edge, your back arching off the bed and your lips parting in a moan as you ride out your high.

“So pretty.” Jungkook circles your clit with his thumb, his fingers still sheathed within your walls. “You always take my fingers so well.”

“Think I’d rather take your cock instead,” you reply breathlessly, sagging back against the mattress and reaching for him. Jungkook takes the hint, gritting out a hoarse curse before crawling up your mostly bare body and crushing his mouth to yours in a searing kiss. You grab the hem of his gray sweatshirt, pulling it up and over his head, and are more than pleased to discover he’s not wearing anything underneath. His sweatpants soon follow, Jungkook impatiently kicking the material off his ankles, and you sigh out his name when he wraps you in his arms, skin against skin.

“I’m not going to last very long,” he warns you, his breath a puff of hot air against the shell of your ear. “Promise I’ll make it up to you later. Just wanna feel you right now.”

“Go on, then,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “How do you want me?”

Jungkook groans, no doubt having a furious internal debate with himself, before reaching down and taking his cock in one hand. “Just like this,” he decides, gazing down at the way you’re spread out on your back for him. Deliberately, he settles between your thighs, giving himself a few pumps before positioning himself at your entrance. “Wanna kiss you while I fuck you. Wanna kiss you for the rest of my life.”

He’s pushing forward then, stealing the breath from your lungs along with any thoughts that may have crossed your mind at his last sentiment. Jungkook sinks into you until you’re gasping at the fullness, his hands grabbing at the meat of your hips and pulling you against him with every thrust. He fucks into you with reckless abandon, hoarse praise and gritted curses falling freely from his lips as he uses your body to seek out his own high. Every now and then, his mouth seeks out yours in a sloppy kiss, which you happily indulge as his rhythm falters and becomes increasingly erratic.

Jungkook floods you with his warmth, his arms gathering you up tightly as his cock slowly softens within you. His lips find yours, and this kiss is a simple, tender one—an affectionate press and a crinkly eyed smile that has you automatically smiling back.

“I don’t know why you’re so happy,” you tease, poking him in his slightly sweaty chest. “Jimin’s going to throttle you for this, you know.”

“Worth it,” he replies cheekily. “Anything’s worth it as long as you kiss me better afterward.”

“Gross,” you tell him, laughing. “You’re so lame.”

“But you still like me,” he says with a shrug. Then he grins. “The real question, though, is whether you like me enough to help me move in the fall.”

You hum, hiding your smile. “Depends. What’s in it for me?”

A positively wicked grin spreads across his face and settles there. “Why don’t I give you a preview?”

///

A few weeks later -

Jimin hums softly under his breath as he strolls into his new dorm, a cardboard box cradled in his arms. There’s a growing pile of boxes in the middle of the living area already, and he’s only just found an empty spot to drop the latest when he hears an odd noise coming from the bathroom. A wet, smacking sound, kind of like—

“Jungkook, you dog,” he snorts, throwing the cracked door open. “Get your ass out here and help me unpa—“ He stops in his tracks.

The scene before him doesn’t make sense. Jungkook is standing in front of him with wide eyes and fear in his expression, but that doesn’t make sense. At least it doesn’t until he sees you in the reflection of the mirror over the sink, your clothes disheveled and your lips swollen.

“Wait, we can explain,” Jungkook begins, following the trajectory of Jimin’s gaze and waving his hands in a fluttery panic. “I swear, Jimin, it’s not what you think—“

“That’s my sister,” Jimin says, his voice dangerously calm.

“Yeah, but—”

“You put your hands on my sister,” Jimin continues matter-of-factly, as if Jungkook hadn’t spoken at all. “I’m going to fillet your dick with a dull knife and serve it over rice.”

And before you can catch your breath and open your mouth to stop him, Jimin leaps forward, his fingers aimed directly for Jungkook’s throat.

[golbrocklovely]

what a tease // colby brock

A/N: so... this fic kinda came out of nowhere. no one requested it. i just thought of it last night and had to get it out. it was a lot of fun to write, and hopefully doesn’t read as too awkward haha let me know what you think. 

prompt: colby has always been the dominant one in the relationship, and you were fine with that. but then one night, you get to take control. ||  fem!reader x colby

trigger warning: pure fucking smut, like literally porn, handcuffs, vibrator usage, lingerie, cursing, unprotected sex

word count: 2767

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It all started with a suggestion. An idea you had.

You and Colby had been together for almost a year now, and your sex lives were fantastic. Colby knew exactly what to do to get you off, to give you everything you wanted and more. And you knew exactly what to do to make Colby go crazy. You had never met a man that wanted to give you pleasure as much as Colby did. And you loved making Colby lose it; something about the way he looked as he pounded into you made you instantly wet any time you thought about it.

You worked perfectly together because Colby was dominant and commanding, and you just loved submitting to everything he asked for, with some occasional teasing of course.

But secretly, you always loved the idea of being the dominant one. Before you guys had ever dated, you had had dreams of him begging to fuck you, pleading with you to let him taste you for even just a second. It was always in the back of your mind because Colby didn't really show that side of himself. You would see it sporadically, like when you would take too long to let his cock slide inside you, a slight whine leaving his lips; or even when you would slowly ease yourself down on him with your mouth, knowing damn well he was ready to bust at any second.

So, one night you brought it up to him. You asked him very nonchalantly about it, about the idea of him allowing you to be in 100% control. And at first, he was a bit hesitant, thrown off by your notion. But he sat there as you guys continued to watch a movie, and by the end, he said he wouldn't mind it once. You both agreed that when he was ready for it, he would let you know.

And so, you waited. And waited. It wasn't like you needed to dominate him, but the thought was growing more and more in your mind. What would you do? How would you tease him? And most importantly, what would you wear?

Then finally, he agreed. One night randomly, he said he was ready for you to dominate him. He blushed at the words, his dimples appearing as he laughed through the sentence. It felt a little weird on his end to say it, even though it was something you had said before on several occasions. But he was ready for you. He was ready to see what you would do to him.

Or... at least he thought he was.

Colby leaned back against his headboard, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. He was excited to see what you were wearing, even if he was planning to take it off in a matter of minutes.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror one more time, taking in your appearance with a deep breath. You had thought to buy a red and black lingerie set, knowing that that combo was sexy, but something about this white number that you had on made you feel like a porn star. The bra hugged your breasts in the best way, the lace delicately tracing your curves. The thong and garter belt, uncomfortable as it sort of was, made you feel like throwing money at yourself. You tugged at your thigh highs, feeling them stretch a little more up your thigh. Your heels clicked on the floor as you shuffled, your eyes following your hips as they moved back and forth. You clicked your tongue, nodded to yourself, and walked out of Colby's bathroom.

His head immediately shot up as you stepped out. His eyes raked over your body, taking in every beautiful inch of your skin. His lips twitched, a little smirk hiding in the corner of his mouth.

"Fuck babe, when did you get that?" He asked, his voice deeper than usual.

"I ordered this a while ago. Figured tonight would be the perfect time to pull it out." You stated, sliding slowly onto his bed.

"Well, I'm happy you're finally putting it to good use," Colby pulled your hips to his, your body resting against his lap. He glided his hands up to your bra straps, "Too bad it's gonna have to come off now."

You smacked his hands away. "Not so fast, love. Remember, I get to decide what happens tonight."

He sighed, playfully rolling his eyes. "Right, right. What exactly do you have in store for me?"

"Well for starters, we're gonna need these." You reached over into Colby's drawer and pulled out a pair of red, fluffy handcuffs.

Colby batted his eyelashes. "I thought those were only for you."

"Nope. You see, this pair is for you. I got you a red pair to match my black." You replied.

"We're gonna have to replace yours though, you know," Colby whispered, getting close to your face. "Since we almost broke them the last time we used them..."

"That's enough from you." You shushed, grabbing Colby's wrist lightly and slipping the handcuff around it. You tightened it slowly, pulling it around his back and connecting the other handcuff to his empty wrist.

"Cole Robert Brock, you're under arrest." You joked, holding back a giggle.

He sighed. "You're enjoying this a little too much."

"You have no idea." You beamed.

Colby shimmied his body down a bit, getting more comfortable. He fidgeted his wrist against the handcuffs, feeling the fluff tickle against his inner wrist. The handcuffs were secure in a way he wasn't expecting.

You slowly straddled Colby's lap, his legs resting down onto the bed under your weight. You leaned in, ready to place your lips on his, but stopped abruptly. "What's your safe word?"

He scrunched up his face. "Safe word?"

You nodded. "Yeah. In case it becomes too much."

"I know what a safe word is, babe," He deadpanned lightly. "Um... pineapple."

"Perfect." You muttered, finally connecting your lips to his. The kiss was slow and sweet, a light breath leaving your mouth as Colby glided his tongue in passed your lips. As your tongues danced together, your hands found his hair, gently pulling on his purple locks. You pulled your mouth away, peppering his jaw with kisses. Your mouth traced down his neck, kissing and sucking until you reached his collarbone. You lightly bit his skin, a hum falling from his lips.

"I want to keep kissing you." He mumbled.

You shrugged subtly. "Too bad."

Hands falling to his thighs, you kissed down his chest; pecking his heart tattoo along the way. You couldn't stop yourself from running your tongue across his nipples. The quiet gasp from him made you chuckle to yourself. As you snaked your lips further and further down, you could see him hardening in his boxers. You picked your head up last second, your hands wandering up his inner thigh. You fingers traced his bulge, his breath hitching and eyes closing.

"Baby..." He inhaled.

You blinked. "Yes?"

He looked into your eyes. "Don't tease me."

"Oh, Colby. You haven't even seen me tease you yet," You smiled sweetly. "But I'll be nice for right now. Hold yourself up for a second."

Colby picked up his hips and you removed his boxers, allowing his cock to spring free. You tossed his underwear onto the floor, wrapping your hand around his shaft. His tip was already leaking a small amount of precum as you jerked him off agonizingly slow.

He grunted as he bucked his hips into your hand, needing more of your touch. You kept your pace the same, gazing up at him longingly.

"Y/N... go faster." Colby blurted.

You sped up gently, rubbing his tip with every stroke. You could see his shoulders tense, wanting to be out of the handcuffs.

"Do you want me blow you?" You questioned, your voice low.

He nodded, humming.

"Then say it." You commanded.

Colby bit his tongue, his eyes narrowing for a second. "Really?"

"Really." You straight-faced.

Your thumb circled his leaking head as you waited for him to speak. His hips twitched against your hand as he choked back a moan.

"Suck me, Y/N." He grunted.

You raised an eyebrow at his tone, but eased your head down. As his cock entered your mouth, he exhaled deeply. You bobbed your head up and down, taking him in as much as you could and jerking off the rest with your hand. You hollowed out your cheeks as you reached his tip, swirling your tongue around him. Colby's head fell back against the headboard, soft noises falling from his lips. You continued to suck, allowing his cock to get deeper and deeper into your mouth. A guttural groan ripped through him once his head hit the back of your throat.

"Fuck, I wish I could grab your hair." He shook against his restraints.

As you sped up your movements, a light sheen of sweat trickled across his skin and yours. You gripped his hips, holding him back from throat-fucking you. You could tell he was getting close, knowing how much he would love to come in your mouth at any moment. You pulled your mouth away with a pop, and Colby hissed.

"Baby, fuuuck. Why'd you stopped?" He shuddered.

You looked him dead in the eyes. "I get to decide when you come."

He scoffed, coughing out a laugh. "I swear, when I get my hands out of these..."

"Well, that's not happening anytime soon. So, you might as well enjoy the show." You snickered.

You went back into Colby's drawer, pulling out a small, light purple toy. You rested yourself back against some pillows, your legs pointed towards Colby.

He huffed. "What's that?"

"Something I use when you're not around. Do you realize how many trips you go on? I get very lonely." You relaxed against the pillows, spreading your legs.

Colby's mouth dropped open slightly. "Y/N... w-what-"

You cut him off, your voice just above a whisper. "You get to sit there and watch me touch myself. And you can't do anything about it."

You could hear the handcuffs jingle as he tried to escape them. He groaned, letting out a deep breath.

"Stop trying to get out of them," You ordered. "If you're good, maybe I'll unlock them."

Colby stayed quiet, surprised by your words. He loved seeing this side of you, this bold side that usually only came out when you were desperate and needing him. But seeing you lying there, slowly sliding your thong down your legs, taking your time to pleasure yourself and him, caused his cock to twitch hard against his stomach.

"You're already wet." His jaw clenched, staring down at your pussy.

"Of course. Sucking your cock always turns me on." You confessed.

He gulped. "Really?"

"Oh yeah. I love tasting you, and when your hands pull on my hair and force my head down, oh my God..." You cupped your right breast tenderly, arousing your nipple through the bra. You sunk your other hand down your body, turning your vibrator on. You watched Colby's eyes as they waltzed across your skin, watching the way you teased yourself, letting the toy touch your entrance, but never sliding in.

"I wanna taste you so badly, Y/N." Colby uttered, his eyes intense.

You tsked, snapping your bra open from the front and palming your other breast. "I wish you could. But you're not allowed to."

"Fuck, Y/N. I'm gonna break these fucking handcuffs." He growled, puffing his chest out.

You shook your head, popping up for a second. "No, you're not. You'll get to touch me eventually. I just wanna have some fun."

You slowly inserted the vibrator, whining at the sensation. You felt your eyes roll back into your head, your body falling back down onto the mattress as you dug your heels in. Your back arched as you dived the vibrator deeper.

"Fuuuck, Colby." You moaned. Your mischievous eyes opened and stared at Colby, who darkly glared back at you.

"The second you uncuff me, I'm gonna make you scream." He shoved his shoulders forward, narrowing his gaze more.

You let the vibrator touch your aching clit, the shockwave sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. You drifted the vibrator back into you, speeding up your thrusts.

Your voice dripped with wanton. "As fantastic as this is, you feel so much better, Colby."

"Y/N..." He closed his eyes tightly.

"I mean it, love." You sped up more, peering through your lashes, "You are one of the only guys to ever make me feel this good. No man has ever made me hornier than you."

Colby bit his lip, pushing his head back. "Baby, please."

"You always make me come. And you always make me feel so sexy. I literally crave to feel you inside of me." You whimpered out the last few words, almost unable to finish your sentence because of the pleasure.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He gasped, tearing his gaze away from you.

You rolled your head back against the pillows, enjoying Colby's sounds. "Oh my God, Colby. This feels so good!"

Your hips bucked against the vibrator, taking more and more of it into you. You could feel yourself getting close, the muscles in your stomach tighten with each movement of your hand.

Your eyes locked. "Do you wanna touch me?"

Colby nodded feverously. "Yes."

"Say it then." You insisted breathlessly.

“I wanna touch you, baby.” He whined, furrowing his brows.

“What do you wanna do to me?” You taunted.

“I want to fuck you so hard, you can't walk straight.” Colby snapped, his voice hoarse.

You felt your juices slick down your lips from his words. "Do you want the handcuffs off?"

“Yesss.” He hissed.

“Beg for it.” You barked, your tongue sharp.

He stammered, wheezing. “F-fuck, baby, please take them off.”

You smirked. “I don't know...”

“Y/N, please. I need to touch you. Please, love.” Colby panted, pulling at his restraints.

“I'm so close, Colby.” You murmured innocently, “Do you want me to touch you?”

“Oh my God, Y/N, yes! I need some relief, please.” He begged, bucking his hips against the air.

You stared at his cock, leaking with precum and pulsating. The head was red and throbbing, aching to be touched for even a second. You felt your pussy clench around the vibrator. You did that to him, and you barely even touched him. He was ready to explode just from the look of you.

You were That. Fucking. Bitch.

Slipping the vibrator out of yourself, you got to your knees quickly, crawling over to Colby. His chest heaved as you straddled him once again, lining his tip up with your hole. You sunk down, your groans mixing together as his cock filled you up perfectly.

“Baby, please move. I'm not gonna last long.” Colby urged, his hips jerking.

You began to bounce on him, your high already so close. You needed him just as much as he needed you. You clutched his shoulders, burying your face into his neck. You sucked on his skin as he moaned in your ear.

He nipped at your shoulder. “Fuck, faster. Go faster Y/N. I’m so close.”

“You feel so good, Colby. Oh my God, I’m right there!” You yelled.

You thrusted faster and faster, your hips slamming into his over and over again. You couldn’t handle anymore, the sensations becoming too much. As your peak hit, you heard the snapping of metal as Colby’s voice boomed out a breath. You gasped loudly as Colby enveloped your body with his arms. He slammed your body onto the bed, jackhammering into your cunt rapidly as you rode out your orgasm.

Your legs gripped his hips firmly, diving him deeper into you. His cock pounded your g-spot repeatedly, and suddenly you were building up again in a matter of seconds.  You writhed under him as another orgasm ravaged your body, unable to stop the noises that left your mouth. He came too, a throaty groan pouring from his lips.

You felt like you blacked out for a minute, the pleasure leaving your body completely numb. When you came to, Colby’s body rested on top of you, pressing you into the mattress.

He brushed the hair out of your eyes, the handcuff accidently tracing your face.

“Oh my G-God… you broke the handcuff.” You mentioned lazily.

He hummed, sucking his teeth. “I told you. I needed to touch you.”

You both chuckled, leaning in and pressing your sweaty foreheads together. He pecked your lips softly, sighing into the kiss.

[sluttyten]

Fresh Air

Poly Series Chapter Index

summary: the first few months of life with your boyfriends and your newborn daughter bring numerous hardships that none of you were truly prepared for

length: 27.8k

tags/warnings: handjobs, dry humping, fingering, breastfeeding kink, slight daddy kink, cum sharing, smut, polyamory, multiple partners, the usual tags, angst?, some sadness

Having a baby is no easy thing. You knew that. You also knew that being in such a large polyamorous relationship wasn’t an easy thing. Already you’d lost two boyfriends; Lucas was long gone, happy in his own little world with Chaerin, and Ten was gone too, slowly slipping away.

It took the others a few days to realize that Ten was gone from the relationship. You didn’t have the same emotional breakdown as you did when Lucas ended things, so it wasn’t until you went around kissing each of them goodnight halfway through movie night, skipping over Ten, that Taeyong sat up curiously. 

“Excuse me!” He calls as you start to climb the stairs. “What just happened?”

Ten is slouched down between Taeyong and Kun, and he scowls at Taeyong, twisting his hand in the back of his shirt and tugging him back into Ten’s side. Ten mumbles, “We broke up.” 

“What?” Taeyong looks sharply between you and Ten. “When?”

The other eyes in the room slide toward this conversation. 

Ten flicks his gaze toward you, then he switches on his mischievous flirty grin, snuggling up against Taeyong. “When I realized you’re the only one for me, hyung!” 

Taeyong shoves him away with a groan.

WinWin comes down the stairs then, looking sleepy, sporting a little spit-up stain on his shoulder. He looks past you to where Taeyong and Ten are wrestling with each other, nearly falling into Kun’s lap as he groans and tries to keep them away. WinWin’s hand slides over your shoulder, squeezing reassuringly as he asks, “Hey, what’s going on?” 

He just got off from Daddy-duty, which mostly meant giving Mei a bottle and then napping with her. Ever since learning that he was her biological father, he’d been trying to help you out even more—offering to change her, to give her baths, to feed her (even though she was mostly breastfeeding, you were supplementing a little with bottles and formula).

“Me and Ten broke up,” you tell him, plucking at the front of his shirt. “You might want to wash this. Mei spit up on you.”

“Hold on. Are we just skipping over that? What do you mean you and Ten broke up?” WinWin frowns, his lips drooping into a pout.

You look back at everyone else, and a few of them are craning their necks to be able to see you. So you sigh, and you explain the breakup. Ten nods along with you, occasionally adding his own little input.

“I told you all that first day when we learned I was pregnant, if any of you want to leave or feel like you can’t deal with helping raise a baby, I understand. None of you signed up for a baby when we started this relationship.” You glance around the room, your gaze touching Lucas who has his head ducked as he picks at some loose skin around his nail. “Only WinWin’s definitely stuck with me now.”

There’s grumbles and eye-rolling around the room. WinWin touches the small of your back, just a tender touch to reassure you that he’s here, not going anywhere.

“Like I said, I understand when any of you want to leave. I don’t want any of you to be unhappy here.” You turn away and start up toward your bedroom. “Goodnight!”

But the others can’t let it go. It was one thing when just Lucas had left the relationship, but now Ten too? That second loss felt like the start of instability in the relationship, a crack in the formerly solid foundation. You tried hard not to think of it that way, but that was hard especially when a few days later you’re in bed with Kun.

Mei is asleep on the bed between you both.

It was just you and her for a long while, you were reading a novel to pass the time, and because you knew it was important for her to hear speech and intonation (even though at only almost two weeks old, speech was still a while away for her) you were reading aloud to her.

Kun had come inside, and when you paused in your reading he’d smiled and shaken his head. “Keep going. You have a lovely voice.”

So you’d read until Mei was asleep again, until your throat was dry. Kun was alternating between looking at you, looking at Mei, or looking at the backs of his eyelids. But when you sit aside the book and turn onto your side facing him and your daughter, Kun’s eyes open so he can see you.

“How are you?” He asks softly, reaching out to brush a finger at the thin skin under your eyes. “How are you holding up?”

You clasp his hand, pulling it down to your lips so you can kiss his palm. “You mean in general, or like postpartum? Or the breakup with Ten?”

Kun swallows, his eyes searching yours. “All of the above, I guess.” He looks down to your lips as you kiss his hand again. “I mean, you haven’t left the house since you came home from the hospital. That’s got to be taking a toll. And I’ve done some reading online, I know about postpartum depression and stuff. Then on top of the chances of that, there could be a hit of regular depression because of the breakup. I’m just worried, concerned.”

“I’m fine, Kun. Really.”

And you believe that you are. You feel good. Even with the breakup. Ten’s still here; he’s just more like your best friend now than anything else when he comes into your room to make sure you’re getting something to eat, to coo at Mei, or to kidnap Miso from where he’s curled up beneath Mei’s crib.

“Can I ask you something else?” Kun turns onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. “If I still hook up with Ten, are you going to be mad? Does it count as cheating on you?”

You laugh. “No. It’s fine. You, Taeyong, Johnny, any of you can keep doing whatever you’ve been doing with Ten. I encourage it. I’m pretty sure one of you is actually the reason he broke up with me, unless you know of someone else that he’s had his eye on?”

Kun shakes his head. “No, just us.”

“I don’t mind sharing with Ten. I still love him. I want him to be happy.” You stroke a gentle finger down Mei’s arm. “I want you to be happy, so if you want to choose Ten, then I wouldn’t blame you for br—“

Kun moves so quickly to shut down what you’re saying that he jostles the bed and that wakes Mei.

“Shit.” Kun immediately starts trying to comfort her, cradling her gently in his arms, speaking to her in soft, soothing tones. And as Mei starts to settle, he looks sharply back up at you. “Don’t say something like that, about me breaking up with you.” His face twists with annoyance. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

“That’s what you all say. Lucas loved me. Ten loved me. They both left.”

“I do fucking love you.” Kun tells you, his voice assertive and hushed as he looks down at Mei again. “If I had Mark’s balls I’d have proposed to you by now too. I’m sure half of us would have as well. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, my love. So stop trying to get rid of me.”

You’re not trying to get rid of any of them, but over the next few weeks it becomes clear that all of this—maintaining this relationship—is going to be a lot harder while you’re recovering from birth and while you’re trying to focus on Mei, feeding her and sleeping when you can.

Even with your boyfriends trying to help, it’s not easy.

Jaehyun, WinWin, Kun. They’re always up to help you with anything and everything. Doyoung and Yuta are a little squeamish still of diapers. Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Jungwoo, Xiaojun, Mark, and Hendery try, but some of them still seem scared to touch her, to spend time alone with a newborn who is so utterly fragile. And for some of them it seems that they’re just desperately ready for you to be recovered, ready to have sex again.

“It takes some time,” you explain to Johnny one evening when he approaches you. “I’m sorry, I know you’re horny.”

You’re not ready to have sex again, so the most you can offer any of them are handjobs, maybe a blowjob. 

You’re standing in the kitchen, just cleaning up a few dishes. Taeyong and Doyoung are upstairs watching Mei, so it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea when you offer to Johnny, “Do you want me to give you a hand?”

So moments later, you’re sitting on the edge of the counter, Johnny between your knees. You’re kissing him with one hand in his hair, the other down the front of his pants, softly kissing away his moans, giving him a few of your own to edge him closer. 

“Shit, I want to be inside you,” Johnny groans, fucking forward into your grip. 

“Just a few more weeks.” You kiss the corner of his mouth, then sit back. You twist your fingers tight in his hair, tugging lightly. Johnny’s eyes fall shut, a moan slipping free of his lips. “Then we can--”

Distantly, you hear the sound of Mei crying; her howling cries that she seems too tiny to be able to make. Your head jerks toward the doorway of the kitchen. You can see the stairs from here.

Johnny sighs, and his forehead touches against the side of yours. 

“I’m close. Please, babe.” He bucks forward through the ring of your fingers, grinding closer, trying to get himself over the edge. “Just finish me off, then go.”

She howls again, and you wonder what Doyoung and Taeyong are doing up there. Johnny pants desperately, so you turn your attention back to him, dragging his mouth back into a kiss, tugging on his hair, jerking him off just the way you know gets him off quickest.

He cums with a grunt, coating your hand in his load, and as soon as he’s finished, you pull your hand out of his pants, rinse it off in the sink, and then you hurry from the room, up the stairs after the sound of your daughter’s cries.

By the time you reach the room, you can see she’s red-faced, crying while Doyoung tries changing her diaper, and Taeyong’s desperately trying to calm her. 

“Did you pinch her or something?” You ask, wiping your hands on your pants, wrapping them briefly in your shirt to make sure they’re dry. Taeyong looks up at you with panic in his eyes. 

“She just woke up and started screaming,” he says. “Is she hungry? She’s not really all that messy.” Taeyong gestures at her diaper. 

Doyoung’s doing just fine, wiping her clean, changing her while holding his breath. Once he’s got the diaper safely fastened, he wipes his hands clean with a wet wipe, then lifts her up in his arms to rock her. He looks up at you then. “We were doing just fine before that.”

Slowly her cries quiet down, the bright color of frustration draining from her face until she’s back to normal, her little fists gathered around Doyoung’s pinkie finger and his thumb. Her dark eyes are still open wide, gazing up at his face. 

You sit down on your bed, and Taeyong sits with you.

“I feel kinda bad,” you tell him. “I left Johnny down there, but her crying had me worried. I hate that I can’t give you guys the time and attention you deserve.”

Taeyong smiles softly, stroking the back of your head. “She needs you more than we do. And I’m sure Ten would be more than happier to help out. Kun said that you told him it’s okay. Right?” You nod. Taeyong nods too, then lets out a breath before saying, “That’s a relief, honestly. Because I didn’t want to feel guilty about still sleeping with him.”

“It’s fine, Taeyong. What you have with him predates what you have with me anyway.” You squeeze his thigh reassuring. You truly don’t mind sharing any of them with Ten. “I don’t want to be the one to mess with that.”

Taeyong grins and kisses your cheek. “Thanks. Well, now you’re back, and you and Doyoung probably have this handled, I’m heading to the studio.” He stands and stretches his arms over his head, the hem of his shirt lifting up just enough that you can see the red mark of a hickey on his hipbone. “I’m almost finished up with all this recording,” Taeyong says excitedly.

And when he’s gone from the room, you flop back into your bed, staring up at your ceiling. 

Doyoung comes over to the side of the bed a moment later, and when you turn your attention to him, he’s holding Mei to his chest, but he’s only looking at you. He asks, “Can I join you?”

You nod.

The mattress shakes as Doyoung does his best to settle down carefully into the bed beside you. Mei goes comfortably onto her tummy on Doyoung’s chest, her little fist up at her mouth, thumb between her lips. You scoot closer, your face close in front of hers, and you sigh.

Doyoung rests a hand on her back.

“You okay?” He asks. “Feeling good still?”

Just a few days before, an ever-concerned Doyoung had approached you and begun asking you what felt like very pointed questions that you eventually determined was him trying to make sure that you weren’t suffering from postpartum depression. You’d convinced him you were fine and feeling good about everything, which was absolutely the truth. Still is the truth. But while staring here at your daughter’s face you just feel like you never want to leave her side.

Originally, you’d planned to go back to working after about six weeks.

“I’m not so sure I want to go back to work,” you tell Doyoung.

Mei blinks, sucking at her thumb. She’s looking at you, and you wonder if she can really see you right now, if she can distinguish your face, tell you apart from Doyoung or WinWin or Miso.

“So don’t go back.” Doyoung’s words are simple, direct. “If you just want to stay home and take care of Mei, then that’s perfectly fine. She’s the most important job you can have, anyway. We’re here to make sure you and this little princess have a stable future.”

You nod. “Maybe when she’s older I’ll go back to work, but I think while she’s young, before she can go to school, I want to spend time with her, teach her.”

Doyoung smiles. “You’ll make her brave and smart. She’ll go to school and they won’t know what hit them. A tiny little sweet faced girl with a big personality, a big heart, and a brain to match. She’ll be the perfect combination of all her daddies.”

You laugh. You can see it now: a little girl with WinWin’s face in her little uniform and braided pigtails, walking into her first classroom with confidence, jabbering away and making friends, impressing teachers. You want to build Mei into a strong, confident, brave girl who’s intelligent and knows her own worth, who won’t let anyone put her down or make her feel small.

You can’t wait to meet her.

When Mei is one month old, WinWin accompanies you to the checkup appointment with the pediatrician. The appointment goes well, and WinWin makes it clear that he’s eager to be Mei’s dad, asking the doctor all kinds of questions about things that you didn’t even consider. He asks the doctor if she thinks it will confuse Mei if she hears multiple languages on a regular basis.

“Oh, no. Quite the opposite. Children raised in multilingual homes often benefit greatly. They can have improved concentration skills, are better at providing solutions, and generally perform better academically.” She smiles encouragingly. “But, out of curiosity, how many languages are we talking? Two? Three?”

You and WinWin look at each other.  

“Probably three,” you tell her. “Potentially four or five.”

Korean and Chinese and English you figure will primarily be spoken around her, but Japanese and Thai are also possibilities. You don’t even mention that Cantonese might occasionally be spoken around her as well. 

“Oh, well that is impressive.” She scribbles something on her clipboard. “I think little Mei will certainly benefit from that.”

When you’re leaving the doctor’s office, WinWin carries Mei’s little carrier. She’s awake and looking up at him, and he keeps speaking to her in Chinese using a cutesy tone. Though as soon as you’re outside, he looks up at you. “Are you hungry? I was thinking we could go grab something to eat?”

There’s a place right around the corner that WinWin knows, so that’s where you go. It’s been a while since you’ve been out on anything that seems like a date. The last time you really went out somewhere and did things with people was your baby shower, and that was three months ago. Your last date was before that, when Lucas took you out to dinner just days before he broke up with you, which is somewhat upsetting when you think about it. And you’ve gone to a few parks over the last few weeks, taking Mei out for some fresh air and sunlight with your various boyfriends, but none of those really counted as dates, so you’re excited when you get to sit down at a table with WinWin and Mei.

Even by the time you do get home afterwards, you’re still buzzing with happiness from how wonderfully the appointment had gone plus the lunch date afterwards, and how Mei didn’t start getting fussy until right as you were arriving home.

You’re just in a very good mood. While you nurse Mei, Xiaojun sits with you and tells you a dramatic retelling of his day with Hendery and YangYang. Renjun wanders into your room a bit later to hangout and hold Mei. The whole afternoon is just guys coming in and out of your room, and you’re feeling great and happy, and you’re feeling good enough that when Jungwoo and Johnny come in to interrupt you doing yoga (in an attempt to get your body as closely to how it was before the pregnancy), you don’t mind. You let them sit and watch. Johnny even helps you with a few poses, and Jungwoo lies down on the floor with you, but he puts Mei on his chest to give her a little bit of tummy time.

You’re in the midst of laughing with Jungwoo and Johnny when Doyoung steps into your doorway, knocks on the doorframe, and says, “We have a little problem.”

That happy little bubble you’ve been living in all day pops.

Doyoung summons a group meeting, so you and Jungwoo and everyone else who’s home descend to the living room. You bring Mei with you, apologizing to Renjun that you don’t want to leave her alone with him (not his fault, it’s just you being nervous being away from her). Not everyone is home, so Doyoung calls Taeyong, Kun, and Jaehyun who are all working and puts them on speaker so they can listen in.

You sit nervously in the big armchair. Ten squeezes in with you, and he convinces you to pass Mei over into Uncle Ten’s loving arms.

“What’s wrong, Doyoung?” You ask first once everyone’s gathered.

He sighs and holds up his phone, which has Twitter open on it. There’s a long thread of tweets, images and text, and you’re not sure what that’s all about, not until he says, “It’s amazing that it took fans this long to catch on.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jaehyun’s voice is staticky over the phonecall. “Caught on to what?”

“To us.” Doyoung explains. “Apparently, our girlfriend and WinWin and Mei were spotted out together today by a fan, and now the pictures are everywhere.”

WinWin swears under his breath. 

“But it’s not just that. It was at first.” Doyoung scrolls up to the top of the Twitter thread on his phone. “Some fans realized that they’ve seen her before, so there’s this thread and a whole bunch of others just full of photos of us and you, sweetheart. Going back ages. I’ve been reading comments, and people were saying that for a long time they just thought you were one of our managers or a staff member or something, but then others had their photos, had stories of times they’ve spotted us out with you. There was some fan who said she saw you out with Hendery and Jungwoo. 

“So now they’re pretty sure that you’re dating one of us, or secretly married to one of us, but they don’t know who. Until today, seeing you and Mei with WinWin, they think they’ve solved it all.” Doyoung rubs his hand over his face, clearly exasperated. “But others think differently, because you’ve been spotted out carrying Mei on your walks through the park with me, with Taeil, with Mark and Taeyong. Some fans are just generally pissed off about all of this.”

Everyone’s been staring at Doyoung or else looking down at their phones as they also search social media for all of these swirling rumors and gossip.

Taeil’s the first to sit forward, and he looks over at you. “I don’t think you should leave the house for a few days until this dies down. For your safety.”

You know he’s talking about their sasaengs. Somehow they’ve been lucky enough that sasaengs haven’t camped out in front of this house like you know they did at their apartments when you first met them. You’re sure that many of those photos in that thread Doyoung’s talking about were taken by sasaengs.

“What are we going to do?” Kun asks, his voice sounding echoey and very distant over the phone. 

“What can we do?” Yuta responds. “I say we just let it all die down, don’t acknowledge the rumors at all.”

Doyoung sighs heavily. “I don’t think we can really do that, hyung. I’m sure the company is going to want to talk to all of us about it. And we can’t just ignore it and pretend that we don’t know what they’re talking about because there is all of this photo evidence, many stories, there are videos, and apparently when Xiaojun did an Insta live last week, you could hear Mei crying in the background.”

“Just say it was Haechan,” Mark suggests. “Say he was acting like a baby.”

“Or we could just tell the truth,” Jaehyun says over the phone. 

Yuta rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but what part of the truth? That Mei is WinWin’s baby, or that literally the fourteen of us all had the same girlfriend and that for nine months didn’t know which of us was fathering her child? That part of the truth? I feel like our NCTzens would possibly explode. Imagine the chaos. We’d probably be forced to disband.”

“Obviously not that whole truth, dumbass.” Jaehyun retorts. 

Yuta starts to bicker back at him, but Taeyong’s voice speaks up loudly over the phone, cutting them both off. “We’re not our own PR team. This isn’t something that we have to address right now, so maybe we should at least wait until we’re all home and can talk about it together, right?”

Right.

But you decide to go on to bed. It’s late enough that you can go without drawing suspicion, and as you’ve got Mei comfy in her bed, you curl up in your bed and open Twitter on your phone.

Maybe it’s a bad idea to search up what fans are saying, but you can’t help it. Especially now when you see half of your boyfriends’ names trending along with NCT and some other things that you’re sure are related to this drama going on. It is somewhat disturbing to see this evidence that the fans are gathering against you, to see the nasty things that they’re saying--threats against you and you even see a few against your daughter that have you muffling your tears against your pillow--and you’re still looking at all of this in horror when the door of your room opens. 

A shadowy figure slips from the lit hallway outside into the dark of your bedroom. You hear the familiar footfalls, and when he falls into bed, it’s a comfortable and intimately familiar weight and heat as he rolls against your side.

“Are you okay?” Mark asks.

His feet bump against yours, and as his head edges onto your pillow, he sees what you’re looking at and sees the blue light of your screen reflecting off the wetness on your cheeks.

“No, that’s what we’re not going to do, okay?” Mark sits up and plucks your phone from your hand, rolls over to the far side of your bed, and sits your phone on the bedside table before he comes back. His thumbs are gentle when he wipes at your cheeks. His voice only sounds a little frustrated, more concerned than anything else as he questions, “Why were you looking at all that?” 

“I wanted to know what they’ve seen, what they had to say.” You sniffle and press your face into the pillow. “Your fans can be terrible.”

Mark sinks down beside you once more, and he places a soothing hand on your back, rubbing up and down your spine. “Listen, you and Mei are safe. If you think that we’d ever let them do anything to hurt either of you....” Mark’s cheek rests against your shoulder. “We’ll fix this. I know we will.”

You sigh shakily, and turn, wrapping yourself around Mark, squeezing him in a hug as you hide your face against his neck. He hugs you back just as tightly. 

It’s hours later, Mark has fallen asleep beside you, and his arm is still tucked under your head, his fingers on that hand are tangled in your hair as he’d fallen asleep gently massaging your scalp in an attempt to get you to fall asleep (which was unsuccessful). There’s a soft glow from the nightlight in the corner of the room, and by its light you’ve been watching Mark’s face, counting his eyelashes and his freckles and then counting his breaths, but you can’t calm your mind enough to slow down and fall asleep.

So you hear Mei waking up, hear her starting to cry. You know you need to get up, leave the nice comforting warmth of the bed, to go feed her, but all you want to do is just stay right there.

You squeeze your eyes shut even as her cries begin to build.

Mark’s sleeping like a rock, so he doesn’t stir. You press closer, press your face to his chest.

The bedroom door opens, and a sleepy Taeil with messy hair comes inside. You can just barely see him through your eyelashes; can see him looking at you and Mark, then his gaze sweeps across the room to the crib in the corner and Mei’s little pink face scrunched up as she cries.

He crosses quietly to the crib, shuffling barefooted, his sweatpants dragging along the floor like socks.

You can’t see him from this angle but you can hear as he shushes Mei, cooing and making soft noises to soothe her. You can hear the rustling as he picks her up, the creak of wood as he settles down in the rocking chair. She keeps crying though, no matter how desperately Taeil tries to soothe her, and after a few minutes of that, you sit up in bed and look over at him.

He’s rocking in the chair, trying to get her to take the pacifier, but she keeps spitting it back out when it’s not giving her what she really wants.

You sigh and push out of bed. Taeil looks up at you.

“Unless you’ve got tits, Taeil, I don’t think she’s gonna calm down for you.” You stand beside him, push your fingers into his hair.

“I thought you were asleep,” he whispers back to you. He doesn’t look away from Mei, just keeps looking down at her puckered face.

Your fingers slide down from his hair to the back of his neck, resting gently there. “I can’t sleep. I just keep thinking about what your fans are saying.” 

Taeil looks up at you then, a frown drawing his eyebrows tightly together. “You don’t need to look at what they’re saying. Our managers have already said that we’re going to have a big PR meeting probably tomorrow so our company can put out a statement. But you don’t need to worry about anything. You’re safe here.”

Mei lets out another piercingly loud cry from such a small baby, and you reach for her. Taeil hands her up to you easily, then he stands, gesturing for you to sit in the chair. You don’t even think about it as you move your top to bare your breast for Mei to latch onto, but Taeil makes a short noise, and when you look up at him, he’s looking away, rubbing at the back of his head like he’s embarrassed.

You try to hide your smile. “You’re all so funny about this, you know. Half of you get embarrassed to look at my boobs now. You’ve seen them before, Taeil.”

“I know that.” He mumbles, and you swear if there were a bit more light in the room, you’d be able to see that he was blushing. “I just have really been missing you lately, you know? It’s been a while.” 

Taeil tries his best to keep his eyes on your face when he turns to you then, but you watch as his gaze inevitably falls to your breast. But there his gaze seems to soften at the sight of Mei’s dark little head nestled there.

Taeil sinks to his knees. “It’s all different now, you know? She’s here now, and she’s so tiny and perfect. Everything’s just.... centered differently.”

You know exactly what he means. Before Mei there were so many things--things to do, places to go, people to go see and talk to, and meaningless things to fill your time with, boyfriends to go fuck around with--and now there’s Mei and she’s just got you so wrapped up with her, none of those things feel like they matter. It’s just you and her, like your whole little world. 

“I don’t think it really matters that WinWin’s her real dad.” Taeil reaches one finger up and strokes the back of Mei’s tiny hand. “Isn’t there a saying that it takes a village to raise a child? Well, here we are. Your whole village to help raise Mei. Our Mingmei. I know that it’s not going to be easy to be here sometimes, and that there’s no way of telling what the future holds for all of us, but I want to be here. I love you. I adore Mei.” Taeil’s expression is so soft as he says that; his eyes are moist looking at you and your daughter then, and after another moment he sinks back to sit on the floor, and he turns his face away, hiding as he tries to hastily wipe away his tears.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere either, Taeil. I’ve said it before, but if Mei could have all of you as her father, that’s what I would wish.” You smile down at her. “Imagine having a dozen fathers to show up and be there any time she needs support, protection, encouragement.”

Taeil sits up then, resting a hand on your knee reassuringly. “We will be here to protect her. Especially right now.” He shakes his head, his brows set in determination. “After you came up here, Doyoung was showing us some more of what they were saying, and I swear to you, we will not let any of them near you. Ever. But there were some great things people were saying.”

You’d seen a few of those during your deep dive. Fans saying that you seemed lovely--both visually in the pictures, and then also the few fans that had stories about seeing you out with the boys had said that you had sounded sweet--and fans defending you, defending the boys, reporting accounts threatening violence toward you or Mei. There were fans gushing over the boys as fathers, fans going wild thinking about aesthetic baby pics that some of them might post on their Instagrams. 

There were definitely some wonderful things you’d seen, but it was hard to focus on those when there was so much negativity inspiring fear and anxiety and terrible things in you. 

By the time Mei finishes nursing, even you are finally starting to feel tired. Taeil takes her from you as you attempt to pull your shirt back into place, and he paces around the room, singing quietly, patting her back to burp her. You just sit there in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth, your eyes feeling heavier and heavier as you watch Taeil and listen to him.

You don’t even realize that you’ve dipped off, not until there’s fingers on your shoulder and on your cheek, a quiet voice calling your name. 

“Hmm?” You open your eyes.

Taeil, smiling sleepily too. “You should get in bed, my love. Mei’s fine,” he explains when you sit up suddenly and look around. “She fell asleep, so I put her back down. Come on, into bed.” He helps you cross the few feet to the bed, his hand in yours, and once you’ve slid back in between the covers, your head once more on the pillow, Taeil smooths hand over your hair, and leans in to whisper, “Goodnight,” and he places a loving kiss on your forehead. 

You’re asleep before you can remember to mumble a sweet “goodnight” back to him.

Maybe it was a mistake telling your boyfriends that the doctor had approved and even encouraged the use of multiple languages with Mei. Because after you tell them that, then you rarely hear the Chinese members speak in anything other than Chinese to her. Yuta almost exclusively reads and sings and speaks to her in Japanese. Johnny, Mark, and even sometimes Jaehyun and Ten speak English to Mei. You even catch Xiaojun singing in Cantonese to her.

Mei looks up at him, waving her arms and legs, cooing happily as he leans on the side of her crib to sing to her.

“What are you doing?” You ask, sliding up beside him, one arm curling around his waist, your cheek resting on his shoulder. “She’s going to be so confused when she’s older if you speak to her in Mandarin and Cantonese, Jun.” You brush your lips in a light kiss to his exposed shoulder.

“She’s going to be smart,” Xiaojun responds quickly. “Going to speak five languages by the time she’s five, and put all of us to shame with her brain.” You feel him kiss you on the top of your head. “Were you still on for coming with WinWin, Ten, and I later?”

It’s been a few weeks since the rumors first struck. Their PR team put out a statement, claiming that you were just a staff member and close friend of the group who happened to have a baby. A lot of fans had backed off, but you were still a little wary about leaving the house unless it was necessary. You’d only left for appointments, and then to go meet up with your parents once for them to fawn over their granddaughter.

“I don’t know, Xiaojun. Your fans are still watching us.” You step away from him.

Lately there’s been a heightened presence of sasaengs around the boys. You’d even noticed one following you on your way to the last appointment you’d had with your doctor—one where you’d been cleared to return to work (if you wanted that) and to resume sexual activities (though she did advise that you take it easy, so no rough sex, no orgies)—and you’d been lucky to find that an old friend of yours was acting as a courier, and he was in the doctor’s office dropping something off right as you were leaving. He’d walked out with you, and though he was working, he did walk with you and make sure that the sasaeng stopped following.

Xiaojun turns away from the crib to follow you, his fingers catching on your sleeve, sliding down over your hand. “Hey, babe. Look, I know that lately we’ve been under more surveillance than normal. I’ve seen what they’re saying online, people still doubting the story that our team put out, but that doesn’t mean that you need to withdraw from us.” Xiaojun strokes the back of your hand until you turn it over and he laces his fingers through yours. “Come out with us tonight. Let Kun or Jaehyun or one of them watch Mei, and come have fun.”

You glance uncertainly over at Mei’s crib. “I don’t know....”

You haven’t left Mei yet, not for any extended period of time, not for longer than a shower or a quick snack in the kitchen along with a handjob for Johnny. Leaving her for two or three hours, that just doesn’t sound like something you’re ready for yet.

“I’ll think about it.” You tell him.

Xiaojun lets out a happy sound, and then he cups your face between his hands, and pulls you into a quick kiss. “Please say yes. We’re just going to see a movie. And whoever watches her will have to deal with Jaehyun probably hovering protectively right at his shoulder the whole time. She’ll be fine.” He pecks you on the lips again, and this time you twist your fingers in the bottom of his top, lean in on your toes, and kiss him again.

Xiaojun makes a pleasant sound, his fingers slide into your hair, angling your mouth against his. You want to push this a little further, want to feel his bare skin against yours, feel the pleasure that you haven’t felt for weeks and weeks now.

He smiles into the kiss as you push your hands up under his top, moving up his chest. He almost giggles when you feel up his pecs. Xiaojun pulls back just a little, pecking you on the lips playfully amidst his giggles, before pressing back in fully.

You can do this, you tell yourself. Your doctor cleared you for sex again, and you know that Xiaojun will be gentle with you, that he’s a good choice to be your first time again. This will be fine.

When you drop your hands from his chest, slipping your fingertips beneath the waistband of his pants, Xiaojun slows down as if he’s a little confused by you initiating this. And when you touch his dick, he backs off and his eyebrows draw together in confusion. “Are you... Are you sure?”

“Mmmh.” You nod. “My doctor finally cleared me. I’m good as long as we take it a little slow.”

Xiaojun’s smile returns, and he cocks his head to the side a little and looks you up and down. “So I should treat you like a virgin, right? Take it easy and slow?”

You whine. “Don’t tease me, Xiaojun.”

“No, I won’t.” He kisses you sweetly. “But are you sure? You want to do this now? Here?”

Mei’s just right over in the corner, unknowingly looking up at the mobile spinning over her head, unaware of what’s going on here. It does feel a little bit weird, but she won’t know. She won’t have a clue what’s going on.

“I’m sure.” You nod. “Well, I’m sure that I at least want to see how far we can go. I just,” you sigh, “feel like we’ll be interrupted by one thing or another. A baby, a boyfriend, discomfort. Something. But yes.”

 “We’ll figure it out.” Xiaojun bounces a little eagerly and excitedly on his toes. “God, I really want you.”

You kind of love that Xiaojun doesn’t rush you at all even after he says that. He doesn’t push you to hurry into anything, is content with just lying in your bed and making out, letting your hands wander over his bare arms, delving into his hair, slipping through the large cutouts at his sides to scrape your nails lightly over his back or his abs or his chest. He doesn’t try to get you to touch him lower down his body even when you can feel how hard he is against your thigh. Xiaojun lets you take it all at your own pace, lets you pull his hands under your shirt.

You’re feeling more confident with your body now than you were even just a few weeks ago. You’ve looked at mommy forums online, and they say that it’s not uncommon to feel negatively about your body for quite a while after birth, but you’re happier now.

So when Xiaojun touches your belly, as he lifts your shirt up over your chest, you don’t feel embarrassed at all. You feel the heat of lust burning in your belly, your skin flushed with heat even as cool air touches your chest.

“Fuck, so pretty. I’ve missed you like this,” Xiaojun groans, breaking away from your lips to kiss your neck, then skipping down to your chest, the mound of your tits in your bra. His thigh slips between your knees, his lips dance over your chest, and you can’t help the breathy little sounds that spill from your lips.

You clap a hand over your mouth.

“Don’t be shy,” Xiaojun chuckles. “You make such pretty noises, babe. Let me hear them.”

You obediently drop your hand, sliding your fingers into his hair instead as Xiaojun keeps kissing your chest, and his hand finally slips down into your panties.

“Ah!” The little gasped sound escapes your lips when Xiaojun’s finger glides over your clit.

He grinds subtly against your thigh, and moans softly, lifting his head from your chest and kisses you again.

It’s been so long since you were touched like this, that it’s literally seconds before Xiaojun is smirking at just how wet you’ve grown. He sticks with touching your clit, kissing away all the sweet sounds you’re making, until you start moving with him, rocking your hips up and looking for more than just the touches to your clit.

Xiaojun moves down to kiss at your neck, and as he does that, he slips a finger inside you.

You moan loudly, your hand flying down to grip at Xiaojun’s forearm, not to stop him but just to hold on to him as he fingers you. It doesn’t hurt or anything, it’s a bit uncomfortable after everything your vagina went through just a little over a month and a half ago. But it still feels so good.

Your fingernails dig into his skin just as his teeth nip at your throat, his cock rubs against your thigh, and Xiaojun makes a muffled sound against your neck. You let go of his wrist, snaking your hand inside his pants to touch his cock, to help him feel good too.

“Wait,” he mumbles, “I feel like this should be about you.”

“Very chivalrous of you, but I kinda want you to enjoy this too.” You try to keep going, but Xiaojun stops, sits up, and pulls his hand entirely out of your pants, then grabs your wrist and removes your hand from his pants as well. You pout up at him.

He looks away from you, up at the ceiling. “Please don’t give me that look.”

“Then come touch me some more.” You reach for his waistband.

Xiaojun bats your hand away, and moves down the bed. “I’m going to, but, babe, I want the focus to be on you. I don’t care about me right now because I guarantee I had an orgasm more recently than you. So, please, just let me make you feel good first.”

You really can’t argue with that.

“Okay. Fine, do with me what you will.” You spread out your arms and legs, dramatically going limp.

Xiaojun rolls his eyes affectionately. “Can I take your pants off?”

You lift up your hips to help him slide your pants off, then he kneels up over you, pulling the shirt up over your head.

He sinks back down to sit on his heels and drinks in the sight of you before him.

You wonder if he’s thinking of the last time he had you like this, because you know that you are. It’s been months and months since the last time that you and Xiaojun were alone together like this, taking the time to appreciate and take each other apart. It was shortly after you learned you were pregnant, you’d spent the whole morning in bed together, getting each other off; you’d spent at least half an hour kissing his entire body, sucking his cock, praising his body.

“Fuck, I love you,” he sighs, and falls over you again, his body covering yours as he captures you in a kiss once more. Xiaojun slips a hand under your back, and you feel his fingers fumble for a second or two with the clasp on the back of your bra before it releases. You sigh in comfortable relief, and reach up to pull the straps down your arms, freeing yourself of the bra entirely.

You hold your breath as Xiaojun starts to kiss down your body—trailing burning kisses down your throat, between your breasts, down your belly, and at last he reaches the edge of your panties.

His nose nudges against your clit through the material, and when Xiaojun places the gentlest of kisses right over your pussy, your breath catches in your throat before shaking its way free. He lifts his head so he can see your face as he finally removes the last piece of clothing on your body.

The last time you were this naked in front of one of your boyfriends was when you showered with Jaehyun before you found out WinWin was Mei’s father. Almost two months ago.

When you feel his breath on your bare, wet pussy, all you can do is close your eyes, bite your bottom lip, and pray that he’s about to eat you out. You want so badly to really, truly get your pussy eaten the way that hasn’t been done in a long time.

And right as Xiaojun grants your nonverbal wish, his tender lips kissing your clit, a new voice of doubt enters your mind.

What if you look different down there? Or smell or taste different?

You haven’t really taken much time to pay attention to if giving birth altered how your pussy looks. You have no idea if you’re going to taste different. You’re only kinda sure that you don’t smell different. And what if it doesn’t feel right when he eats you out anymore? You’ve read that sex might feel different after the baby, and you’ve always loved Xiaojun eating you out. Him and WinWin are two of your favorites when it comes to oral.

You just start doubting all of this, thinking and worrying, so even as Xiaojun’s doing his best down there, you’re not giving him any reactions. Not until he pulls back and looks up at your face to ask, “Does it not feel good?”

“I’m sorry.” You groan, rubbing a hand over your face. “I think I’m just... thinking too much.”

“Relax.” Xiaojun puts a hand on your thigh, massaging gently. “You don’t need to think about anything, don’t worry or stress.”

He’s probably right. You don’t need to worry about any of that stuff. He’s clearly not turned off by what he’s faced with down there right now, as he’s already diving back in to sweep his tongue against you. You just need to relax, to sink into the pleasure of what he’s doing, and forget everything else but just that.

Easier said than done, honestly, but you do try.

Xiaojun sets to work on fucking you open on his middle finger again, his tongue at your clit. Slowly, it does start to feel really good; you get out of your mind and just relax into the pleasure, your body taking over, moving with Xiaojun. A second finger joins the first, and soon he’s even got a third finger pumping inside you, his lips sucking at your clit.

You twist your head to the side and bite at your upper arm to keep your moans in check as your orgasm quickly rises. Your chest heaves, whines leaking out even though you try to keep quiet, and Xiaojun lifts his head.

“You look so sexy right now. Are you going to cum on my fingers, babe?” Xiaojun moans a little, sitting up on his knees so he can kiss at your belly, then a little higher up your chest. His lips brush against your breasts, and you shudder from the small burst of pleasure that gives you. His hips dip down, hard cock grinding against your leg, and his three fingers push in deep inside you, stretching you so your pussy really feels it in the best way.

“Fuck, Dejun. Deeper.” Your hands fly to his shoulders, fingertips digging in. “I want you to make me....”

He drops back down, face dipping once more between your legs. With his free hand he pushes at your thigh, trying to get you to spread your legs even farther apart. His tongue flicks over your clit, fingers pressing inside you. The knot in your belly grows tighter, the warm tingling of pleasure building higher and higher, and you feel so close, your body growing hotter, orgasm just within reach the air itself feeling like it’s sparkling around you.

Xiaojun sucks your clit between his lips, his fingers press in right against your G-spot, and just like that your orgasm unleashes.

Your toes curl, body arching up, hips rolling against his mouth, and the guttural sighs and moans that leave your mouth are barely muffled as you bite at your lip in an attempt to keep them in. Your chest rises and falls and feels damp, your whole body warm and shaky and you feel like you’re sweating, but it’s different.

Xiaojun licks you through the throes of ecstasy, only backing off and pulling his fingers out when your hips have eased back down against the bed and you’re whining, thighs twitching on either side of his ears.

And it’s then that you open your eyes from where they were squeezed shut.

Xiaojun’s face is the first thing you see, his wondrous gaze locked on your chest. “Is that your milk?” He asks. And for the first time you realize that your chest doesn’t just feel damp, doesn’t just feel sweaty from that mind-blowing orgasm, your breasts have leaked out breastmilk during that orgasm.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” You cover your face in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I just, god, didn’t know that would happen.”

Xiaojun just laughs. “It’s fine. It’s kinda hot, honestly.”

“Right, my boobs squirting is very attractive.” You can’t convince yourself to pull your hands away from your face. Not until you feel Xiaojun’s tongue on your skin. “You are not licking up my breast milk, are you?” You lift your head to look down at him.

Xiaojun freezes and makes eye contact with you. His tongue hasn’t yet reached where your breast milk has leaked down to. So he pulls his tongue back inside his mouth. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it. It’s just breastmilk, right? What’s the possible harm?”

It’s not like you’ve never heard of this before. You’d read in forums and stuff about mother’s tasting their own breastmilk, fathers tasting their wife or girlfriend’s breastmilk. You’d even read about someone letting their friends, brothers, and more try it. You think that one’s a bit strange, but you can’t deny that you had tasted a little bit of yours yourself one morning out of curiosity. And while you were pregnant Jungwoo had confessed his interest in it.

You just hadn’t expected Xiaojun to be into this.

“I mean, you can if you want to, I guess.” You drop your head back down onto the bed.

Xiaojun’s tongue touches your skin again, and it feels so nice. And then his mouth is on your tits, gentle lips and tongue lapping at the spilled breastmilk. Your pussy starts to throb again with arousal as Xiaojun’s tongue races right up to the edge of your nipple, and then he stops.

You groan and lift your head to look at him again, and just as your eyes meet, Xiaojun flicks his tongue over your nipple, lapping at the damp peak.

It’s certainly not a whimper that leaves your lips.

Xiaojun laughs, and then he does it all over again; his warm tongue tracing over your chest on the other side, though this time he takes his time with your breast, and upon reaching your nipple, he closes his lips briefly around the nipple to flick his tongue at the hardened bud. It’s weird feeling it like this, so different from before when they would lick and suck at your nipples during sex, but also a lot different too than when Mei does it.

You feel like you should not be deriving sexual pleasure from one of your boyfriends basically nursing from you—breastmilk flowing from your nipple into his mouth—but Xiaojun doesn’t stop. In fact, he also seems to be getting off from it. His hips roll against the bed, grinding down into the mattress. He moans, brings one hand up to the side of your breast, gently massaging as he continues with this.

“Fuck me,” you sigh, a plea and a sound of pleasure. And Xiaojun obeys, pulling away from you just long enough to push his pants down and kick them off the foot of the bed, and then he’s back, hips cradled between your thighs. You knot your fingers in the front of his shirt, “Now.”

Xiaojun is gentle and slow, tenderly stroking your thigh as he enters you. He leaves little kisses on your throat and your chest, and it’s only when he starts shallowly rocking into you that he lowers his mouth to your chest and once again starts laving his attention on your tits.

It’s not terrible, just a little uncomfortable. There’s a dull ache that’s not pleasant at all as he thrusts into you, and even though you can tell Xiaojun’s holding back, just trying to make you feel good. And you can feel it—the pleasure is right there through a thin veil of discomfort, and you know if you can just get past that then this will be great. Sweet love-making with Xiaojun would be perfect.

You slide your hands over his back, dipping your fingers beneath his shirt to scrape lightly over his shoulders, and Xiaojun moans. He loses a little bit of restraint, thrusting deeper and a little harder, and there you find the pleasure.

“More,” you moan.

Xiaojun nuzzles against your breast, his lips closed around your nipple as he moans, tasting you on his tongue, feeling you warm and wet around his cock. You’re not surprised that he might not last long. Not surprised when he moans again and draws his hips back, cock leaving you empty as he cums across your belly, still suckling at your tit.

You cradle a hand against the back of his head, your eyes flutter closed, and you think you could let this sweet pleasure overwhelm you again, take you into another orgasm, to peaceful bliss.

The door opens suddenly (why do they never seem to know how to knock when you’re in the middle of something?) and there, framed in the doorway, stand Jungwoo and WinWin.

Xiaojun lifts his head slowly, his lips releasing your tit as he turns his wide-eyed gaze to his members. There’s a small hint of breastmilk on his bottom lip.

There’s no possible way to deny what just happened.

For one thing, you’re lying fully nude beneath Xiaojun. His face was just buried against your chest. Both of you are fully flushed in the face. He looks dazed, horny, and (as you just noted) there’s breastmilk on his bottom lip.

WinWin and Jungwoo stare at both of you in silence for a long moment that finally breaks when WinWin shakes his head and marches inside, heading straight over to the crib.

Mei’s still happily oblivious to what’s been going on. WinWin scoops her up, cradling her in his arms, and as he turns to face you on the bed, he shields her little face from the sight of you and Xiaojun with his hand. His voice is somewhat amused, somewhat scandalized, as he asks, “In front of our daughter?”

Xiaojun rolls to the edge of the bed and sits upright, tries to cover up with the edge of the duvet cover, and then folds his hands in his lap. But when he notices that Jungwoo’s staring at him—most notably, staring at his mouth—he quickly wipes at his lips and chin, smearing away the last of the evidence of what he’d just been doing.

You sit up as well, dragging a blanket over your lap, folding your arms in front of your breasts. “In my defense, there’s absolutely no way that she knows what just happened.”

WinWin shakes his head, trying to look disapproving, but you can see the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile as he looks back down at Mei. “So does this mean that you’re cleared again?” He asks. “Doctor says you can have sex?”

You nod, looking around at him, at the back of Xiaojun’s head where he’s facing away from you, at Jungwoo still framed in the doorway and gazing in awe at you and Xiaojun. “Yeah, just nothing really intense or rough. So no orgies for a while. Her actual words.”

“Good to know.” WinWin wiggles his fingers in front of Mei’s face, and she knocks around one of her little fists, as if she’s trying to grasp his fingers in front of her. He can’t pull his eyes away from her as he says, “I’m pretty sure I owe you some kind of great thank you for this gift right here.”

He starts walking toward the door again, and Jungwoo even steps out of the way to let him pass, so you ask, “Where are you going with her?”

“I’m going to spend a little quality time with my daughter,” WinWin says, and if life were a cartoon then his pupils would be heart-shaped as Mei grips onto one of his fingers right then. “You and Xiaojun can finish up here. Clean up before we go to the movie tonight.” His gaze finally lifts from your daughter, flicking in Xiaojun’s direction.

Xiaojun starts to say something in response, but WinWin’s already ducked out of sight of the doorway, leaving Jungwoo still standing there.

He doesn’t move, even as Xiaojun stands and starts to gather his pants and underwear from where he’s kicked them. Jungwoo just stares at you, at your bare tits. You can kind of guess what he’s thinking, and right as Xiaojun’s shimmying his pants back into place, Jungwoo asks, “Does it taste alright?”

Xiaojun freezes, glancing between you and Jungwoo.

You don’t really care what his answer is. It’s breastmilk, it’s not meant for him anyway, so you don’t think his opinion on it really matters. Instead of intently listening to him, you climb out of bed, turning your back on your boyfriends to get dressed.

“It’s not bad. Wouldn’t be my first choice of drink, but I’m not going to pretend like I wouldn’t definitely do that again.” Xiaojun sounds so pleased with himself as he says it, and you roll your eyes affectionately, carrying your clothes in your arms into the bathroom to shower, leaving Xiaojun and Jungwoo out there to discuss your breasts and your milk. You need to shower and get ready for the first date you’ll have in months.

Once the others realize that you’re open to having sex again, you’ve got a parade of boyfriends trying to get between your legs again. Or at least, after hearing about what WinWin and Jungwoo had walked in on, they keep asking to taste your breastmilk.

Self-consciously, you cross your arms over your chest as Mark’s folded himself onto the end of your bed and just asked you in a very serious voice, “So can I have a taste too?”

“Mark, shut the fuck up.” Yuta’s sitting right beside you, holding Mei who’s just looking up at him and smiling. She’s been doing that a lot lately, making this absolutely adorable smile that has every single person in this house wrapped around her tiny fingers. “If you want to taste it just go get in the minifridge.” Yuta jerks his head over to the set up you’ve got tucked in the corner beside the rocking chair, now that you’re pumping milk just so you don’t have to get your tits out every time that Mei cries for food.

“Do not drink Mei’s supply, Mark Lee.” You get up, and as you walk toward the end of the bed, you reach up to ruffle your fingers through Mark’s hair. “You boys are all so weird. Every one that’ve had a taste say it’s weird, so why do you keep asking. You don’t even eat yogurt, Mark, what do you think breastmilk is going to do to you?”

Yuta snickers.

Mark laughs too, and you smile as you rest your hand on his head. He tilts back to meet your gaze.

And then you hear it.

Your head snaps toward Yuta and Mei. You feel Mark go still beneath you. Yuta’s frozen in surprise.

You hear it again.

“Is she laughing?” You climb back onto the bed, crawling up toward the head.

Mei’s tiny little body, her smiling face. She’s laughing. And if you’ve ever had a favorite sound, it is this. Your daughter’s little giggle. She’s three and a half months old, and this is the funniest thing in her whole life.

You’re still fawning over her and the cute sounds she makes when WinWin gets home.

He always comes up to see Mei first thing when he gets home, even if it’s super late, even if he’s already extremely tired. Even if he’s fresh off a fifteen hour long shoot, he pops through the door of your bedroom.

“Sicheng!” You look up, unable to lose your grin. “Babe! Come here! She laughed!”

He looks confused for just a split second, and then Haechan (who had come into the room looking for Mark) does something and Mei laughs again.

WinWin’s face goes soft with surprise and awe, and then he lights up. Yuta’s still holding her, but he gives her up easily when WinWin makes grabby hands at his daughter. WinWin immediately hugs her and you can see Mei smiling like the happiest little baby.

For the first time since you saw her, right now as you look at the way she’s looking at her father, you realize that Mei is like a real little human. Like, on some level you’ve known that this whole time. You’ve known it since you first felt her move inside you, since you heard her first cry, since you spent all night watching her breathe.

After a little while, the others drift away, making excuses to leave, and then it’s just you and WinWin with your daughter. You scoot close beside him so you can rest your head on his shoulder, looking down at Mei cradled in his arms. Her eyelids are growing heavy, a pacifier between her lips now.

“Sometimes, when I first wake up in the morning,” WinWin says in a hushed tone, “Sometimes I think that this has all just been a dream. That I’m going to roll over, get up, and we’re going to be back where we were a year ago, before we even knew you were pregnant, and in that moment after just waking up, my heart drops. And I think that it was such a good dream.” He sighs.

Mei’s eyes fall shut, and WinWin looks down at her.

“I can’t imagine my life without her.” WinWin admits. “I hope you know that. The day I got that test result, best day of my life. I just.... I can’t even describe....”

“I understand.” You sit up a bit and kiss his cheek. “And I’m happy you’re her dad. I don’t know if I’ve ever actually said those words to you. But you’re so good at this.”

“So you’re saying I’m the best boyfriend?” WinWin smiles over at you, and judging by the way that his gaze briefly flicks past your face, over your shoulder toward where the door to your bedroom is, you assume one of the others has come to call, and WinWin’s looking to irritate whoever it is. He meets your gaze again as he says, “You’re saying that all along you wished I would be the dad, and you were just playing along with Jaehyun’s fantasies of him potentially being the dad.”

You look over and see Jaehyun leaning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest. 

Honestly your mouth waters at the sight. He looks like he’s ready for climbing into bed and staying there. Shirtless and wearing sweatpants, hair pushed back with a headband. 

“I’m glad Mei’s your daughter, WinWin. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to make Jaehyun a daddy too.” You trace your gaze down the length of Jaehyun’s body, barely able to contain yourself. 

“Alright,” WinWin groans. “I guess that’s my cue to take our daughter and go. You look like you’re about to jump him, baby.”

“You don’t have to go.” You kneel up on your bed when WinWin stands up to go.

He shakes his head. “I’m not staying here with her while you eye-fuck Jaehyun.” He looks the other man up and down. “Have fun. Looks like you could both use it.” WinWin pats Jaehyun on the shoulder as they pass each other, and you watch WinWin leaving the room, holding Mei to his shoulder, kissing her head softly.

The softness you feel at that sight wars entirely with the lust you feel when Jaehyun slinks into your bed.

One knee lands between yours, a hand to your shoulder gently presses you back, and then Jaehyun’s over top of you, his lips press against yours. It feels so good to just kiss him, to feel his body on yours, all heat and hard planes. You love the soft little grunt of pleasure he makes against your lips when you trail a hand down his chest, fingers brushing over his nipple. You love the amused sound of surprise he makes when you suddenly push him over, rolling him beneath you.

Jaehyun’s hair’s grown long over these last several weeks, and now it flares out on the bed in a not-entirely-flattering manner. But you sit on his hips, reach forward to pluck the headband from his hair, and you toss it aside so you can run your fingers freely through his hair as you sink back in to kiss him some more.

“Did you mean what you said?” Jaehyun moans a few moments later as you begin to helplessly shift your hips. “About wanting to make me a daddy too?”

“Mmmh.” You kiss down his throat. “I would gladly give you a baby, I think. You clearly want one all your own.”

Jaehyun puts a hand to your shoulder, applying gentle pressure to get you to stop for just a moment. “Hey, look at me.”

You lift your head from his throat.

When Jaehyun’s eyes are looking right into yours, he says, “I want you to know that I am perfectly happy with Mei as my daughter. You know that, right?” You start to sink back down to get back to what you were doing, but Jaehyun catches your chin between his fingers. “I don’t want you to think that you, like, owe me a biological baby, okay? I know I always talk about this breeding kink thing, but in the end it’s just that, just a kinky thing. Of course, I would love to have a baby with you, but I don’t want you to feel obligated, okay? Tell me you know that.”

“I know, Jae.” You peck him on the lips. “But I want to make you happy too. And I don’t think I want to stop with just one kid. Especially when I see how you all dote on her. You’re all really amazing dads.”

Jaehyun chuckles, shaking his hand still holding your chin a little. “Don’t you miss our days of doting on you? Spoilt baby.” He flips things back over, sweeping your hands up over your head, pinning your wrists against the mattress. “Want me to spoil you again, princess?”

Warmth blooms through you, tingling down to your fingertips and toes as Jaehyun looks at you and talks to you like that. His hand dives under your shirt, pushing it higher up your chest until your bra is exposed; one flick of his wrist and the nursing bra you’re wearing falls apart, and your breasts are freed for him.

“Jaehyun, please.” Your breathy whine does exactly what you want.

Jaehyun, with one hand still pinning your wrists above your head, lowers his mouth to your breast. His other hand dips inside the shorts you’re wearing, inside your panties too. You gasp and arch into his touch as he grazes your clit. So enamored are you by the things he’s making you feel, that you don’t notice at first when he removes his hand from your wrist. It’s only as you feel your shorts and panties being tugged down that you realize your hands are free, but you leave them together above your head as Jaehyun pulls his mouth from you and shimmies your shorts away.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy.” Jaehyun sinks down low, lying on his belly between your legs. His hands press against your thighs, getting you to spread open a little farther. He leans up to kiss your belly just below your navel, right where the butterflies are going wild in your gut.

Sure, Xiaojun ate you out when you had sex with him, and you’ve fucked a couple of the others since that, but you haven’t had Jaehyun’s tongue on you in what feels like ages. Definitely for several months. So seeing him between your legs like this has really stirred you up, and you can feel yourself dripping more just thinking about his tongue and sweet lips on your pussy.

“Gonna make you cum until you can’t take anymore.” Jaehyun murmurs, kissing lower, his breath fanning over your wetness. “I love spoiling you, baby. Just let me know if it gets to be too much.”

And then there he is, fingers spreading your labia apart to give him direct access to suck your clit between his lips. You can’t stand how well Jaehyun knows you, how he knows exactly every move to make right now to get you to cum quickest. He buries his face against you, eating you out with such intensity and devotion that you’re lightheaded even before your first orgasm crashes over you. And it doesn’t stop there. Waves of pleasure as Jaehyun keeps licking your pussy, fucking you with his tongue, making vibrations to carry you through it by moaning as you drip on his tongue.

When Jaehyun sharply sucks your clit back into his mouth after that second orgasm, you squeeze your thighs around his head, and you whine, “Too much, Jae. Back off.”

He does slowly pull himself up onto his knees, lifting a hand to drag it back across his mouth, though he still licks his lips again.

“Good, princess? You only came twice. Don’t you want more?” As he shifts a little, you notice the tent in the front of his sweatpants. Immediately you want to offer to jerk him off or blow him, but you know that Jaehyun is just as likely to turn that down, to go shower and take care of himself instead, so you entice him the only way that you know for certain will have him staying.

You spreak your legs apart again. “I’m not finished. I want you inside me. Told you I want to have your baby too, didn’t I?”

“Stop. This is about you. Not me.” Jaehyun says, but he’s already got a hand on your hip, is already rolling you onto your belly. “Want to get on your knees, precious?”

You lift your ass up, cheek still against the bed, and Jaehyun slicks his fingers against your pussy, giving you just his fingertips before they disappear again, his fingers damp on your hips instead. You bite your lip to hold in the pathetic whimper that you almost made as you grind back against his fingers, pressing back until you feel the soft material covering his thighs bumping against your bare skin. His erection fits against your ass.

“Ah, shit.” Jaehyun moans, his hips pushing forward involuntarily.

“I need you, Jaehyun. I’ve missed your cock. It’s been so long since I had you inside me, remember?” You’re sure you’re creating a damp spot on the front of his pants, continuing to grind back against his erection. “Please fuck me, Jae. Please, Daddy?”

Jaehyun’s not always big on the daddy kink thing. That’s mostly Kun, occasionally Doyoung when he’s really feeling it. But from time to time, you’ve called Jaehyun daddy, and he’s loved it. Just as he does now.

You can feel him fumbling quickly with his pants, pushing them down around his thighs, his hands going back to your ass, thumbs spreading your cheeks so he can see as his desperately hard cock presses against your entrance and then as he pushes inside.

Jaehyun moans, swearing and sounding so lovely as he feels your warm vagina around him for the first time since the beginning of the year, like eight months almost. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good around me.”

“Yeah, Daddy?” You turn your head to the side, trying to get a look at Jaehyun’s face. “You missed my pussy?”

“Haven’t we all?” His hands slip from your ass to your hips, holding tightly as he starts thrusting into you. “Heard you keep telling most of them no when they come drooling after you, baby. Waiting for someone special? Only want Daddy’s cock to fill you up?”

He’s mostly right. Ever since Xiaojun, you’ve messed around with several of them. Johnny had come to you begging for attention as the one handjob you’d given him had been distracted and hurried. Kun and you had had a quick roll around the other morning, which ended with his fingers inside you and your hand down his pants. There was the moment when Jungwoo had sat there watching you try to nurse Mei, but when it turned out that she wasn’t hungry although your tits were hurting with the need to get the milk out, and he’d eagerly volunteered to help you with that instead of you having to sit there with the breast pump which was just annoying to have to deal with. You’d sat in his lap with his face buried against your tits, and after he’d had his fill, looking dazed and horny, you laid back on the bed for him so he could jerk off over your chest before licking it clean again.

For the most part, you’ve not engaged in actual penetrative sex with any of the guys since Xiaojun, but a couple weeks after that, you did share a single glass of wine with Doyoung, and it went straight to your head, making you feel all giddy and buzzy, so when Doyoung got you to your feet to go bed, you’d dragged him into a kiss. The kiss also went straight to your head, pulling and tugging Doyoung all the way into your bedroom with you, through the bathroom door, into the shower. It felt so good to have him in you again, moving against you, pinning you against the cool tile wall of the shower, water racing down your bodies and streaming between your lips as you kissed.

You’d had sex with Yuta too, convincing him to stay in bed with you one morning. He’d woken hard, your name on his lips, and as soon as he realized, Yuta hurried to climb from bed, to go take care of it himself, but you’d caught his arm and asked him to stay. Yuta was worried about hurting you, concerned about Mei in the corner. But she was already gone as it was actually quite late in the morning. You’d already fed her, and Taeil had taken her downstairs when he left your room. So you welcome Yuta into you, and he’s not normally so tender and romantic in bed. You know him better by the rough passion, each time normally touching on one of his kinks, but this time had been sweet and gentle, taking you apart second by second until you unraveled beneath him. He’d left afterwards, pressing a kiss to your forehead and promising he’d be back with breakfast in bed.

 But, Jaehyun was mostly right about you waiting for his cock. The few times you’ve had sex again, none of them had cum inside of you for one reason or another, and you know that if you tell him that now, it’ll really satisfy Jaehyun’s jealousy and his breeding kink, thinking that he’s the only one allowed to cum in you now.

“Waiting for you, Daddy,” you moan, gasping for breath as his tip drags right against your G spot. “Been waiting for your cum. Please, Jaehyun.”

“Of course, baby. I’ll give it to you.” He thrusts in deep, reaches a hand up to tangle his fingers in your hair so he can pull you up from where your face has been planted against the mattress.

Now, you know that you’ve not been trying to hold your moans in much, and Jaehyun’s definitely not being quiet either, so you’re not too surprised when your eyes open as Jaehyun tugs on your hair, and you see that all of these sounds have drawn some attention.

Johnny and Mark stand watching in the doorway.

No orgies, your doctor’s voice echoes in your mind. She’d been joking, you know that, but right now, you don’t care about how serious or not she’d been. You just want. You don’t think you can handle three of them—sure, you’ve had more and worse before than just three at once, but it’s been a long time, and your body would definitely not be up to it, already after just the two orgasms back-to-back that Jaehyun gave you, you were feeling it. You can take maybe one or two more, but not more than that.

“Jae, please,” you moan, throwing your head back so you can see his face. “Please.”

He glances over at the two in the doorway. He jerks his head, and Mark and Johnny come closer. Mark’s gaze is fixed on Jaehyun’s cock disappearing inside you. Johnny’s watching the way Jaehyun’s fingers are knotted in your hair.

“Are you finally giving her the treat she deserves, Jae?” Johnny asks as he joins you on the bed, kneeling in front of you. “How does she feel?”

“Sweet.” Jaehyun’s hand winds tighter in your hair, drawing you up more until your back is pressed to his chest, and his lips brush your throat. “Our baby girl feels so sweet. Tastes sweet too.” His tongue swipes quickly at your skin.

Johnny starts touching you too; a hand between your legs to rub at your clit, another raised up to tweak one of your nipples. And when he leans in, his lips touching the other side of your neck from Jaehyun’s lips, you lose control of yourself.

You keen at the attention being laved on you, an orgasm rocking through you.

Jaehyun’s teeth close down on your sensitive skin. Johnny chuckles, continuing to rub your clit and kiss your neck as you keep shaking, your body too overstimulated now on your third orgasm, pressed between two boyfriends with them still touching you.

“Oh my God, it’s too much,” you moan, shaking. “Jaehyun, Johnny.”

“Guys.” For the first time since entering the room, Mark speaks. “Back off, look at her.”

It’s a lot but you’re still fine. It’s not more than you can handle, though you appreciate Mark’s concern. But you don’t appreciate when Johnny pulls away, when Jaehyun stops thrusting toward his own orgasm.

You shake your head. “No, keep going.” You reach back, fingernails digging into Jaehyun’s hip. “Please, Jaehyun, I told you I want you to cum in me. Keep going. I need it.”

“Love when you beg for it.” Jaehyun picks back up where he left off, chasing his orgasm, and it’s only another few moments before he’s cumming, the long-awaited heat of his orgasm spilling inside you. “Mmmh,” Jaehyun moans, “now you’re all mine, baby. Gonna give Mei a little sister or brother, right?” He kisses your neck and you shoulder, and as he pulls his hips back from yours, you can turn around in his arms, and he kisses you on the lips.

“Come on, when’s my turn?” Johnny asks, his voice teasing, his hands reaching for your hips. “I’ve missed you too.”

You break the kiss with Jaehyun, twisting around somewhat uncomfortably to bat Johnny’s hands away. “I can’t, Johnny. It’s already been too much, too quick. I shouldn’t have even done that much probably.” It’s not like that sex had been too wild or anything at all, just a bit rougher than the others have been since you were cleared for sex again, but you can already feel a dull ache setting into those muscles.

Johnny sighs and leans back against your pillows. You can see the bulge in the front of his pants, and it hurts you to know how much he wants you, to know that the most you can offer him right now is another handjob or a blowjob, but not what he wants. He looks at you for a long moment, considering, and then he sits up, pushes himself off the bed, and walks out the door.

You sink back against Jaehyun, and he wraps his arms around you. Mark’s still standing there, looking after Johnny, but as the door swings shut, Mark looks back at you and Jaehyun. You groan, reaching down to dip your fingers between your legs, the cum dripping out of you now. “I feel so gross now.”

Jaehyun lets go of you, flopping down onto his back, eyes fluttering shut. “We should take a nap. Mark, you joining?”

There’s just barely enough room for three people on your bed, but it doesn’t matter, because Mark shakes his head. “But if you feel gross, how does a bath sound?”

You nod.

Jaehyun makes a little noise, stretching out an arm to lay it over your lap possessively, keeping you there in bed with him.

Mark rolls his eyes a little. “You can join us, Jaehyun. That tub might be big enough to fit the three of us and your jealousy.”

Jaehyun opens his mouth to retort, but you quickly cover his mouth with your hand. “Let’s not argue. Let’s just relax with a soak in the bath, then we can go see what WinWin and Mei are up to.”

After Mark steps out to go run the bath, Jaehyun moves his arm away.

He’s lying there stark naked, not trying to cover up at all, and you once more find your gaze drawing attentively and appreciatively over his form from head to toe. But as you return to looking at his face, you find that he’s watching you, smiling and blushing ever-so-slightly.

“Enjoying the view?”

You reach over, pinching lightly one of his nipples. “Shut up. You know you’re handsome. I don’t need to tell you that. And also, you don’t need to act so jealously possessive when Mark offers me a bath, like you just fucked me so good, Jaehyun. If I thought I could’ve handled more I would have gladly begged you to keep going, would’ve let Johnny and Mark too.” You lean down so your face is right above his. Jaehyun blinks slowly, dazed by your sudden proximity, and he makes a soft pleasant humming sound when you kiss him. “Only would’ve let you cum in me, though,” you promise him.

Jaehyun grins, resting his hand against the back of your head as he brings you back down into another, longer kiss.

You’re still kissing when Mark pops his head out of the bathroom to tell you the bath is ready.

“Coming?” You ask Jaehyun.

He shakes his head, watching you slip off the bed. “Think I’ll go steal Mei from whoever’s got her. Maybe I’ll just go take a nap.” But he’s still in your bed when you close the bathroom door behind you.

The tub swirls with steam and bubbles, the air scented with vanilla. Mark’s already soaking in the tub, but he opens his eyes as you ease a foot into the water. “Where’s Jaehyun?” He asks, his eyes following each inch of your skin that sinks beneath the bubbles.

“Decided to go bother whoever has Mei.” You sigh as the bubbles brush your chin, the warm water enveloping you, already working magic to relax that ache you’re feeling. “This feels so nice.”

“It does.” Mark’s hand brushes your arm beneath the water, circling around so he can pull you closer and closer until you’re sitting with your back to his chest.

“This is nicer,” you sigh, leaning you head back as Mark kisses the side of your head. “Relaxing.”

His hand slides down to yours, twisting your fingers together underwater. You rest your head on his shoulder, his head rests against yours, and you let your eyes close, feeling safe and good, all wrapped up in warmth and Mark.

After a few moments, he starts humming, playing with your fingers. He brings your intertwined hands up out of the water, and you smile to yourself. Mark rubs his thumb back and forth and back and forth and again and again at the base of your third finger until you finally open your eyes, turn your head slightly, and you ask, “What are you doing?”

“Just thinking,” Mark answers. “Remembering the night I proposed to you, how quickly you shot me down.” He kisses your head, then says, “I still want to marry you, by the way. I know things have been.... a little different since Mei. I know she’s not mine, so proposing like I did back then was maybe a little silly, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you at all. I still love you as wildly as I have done since I met you and even more. I know that you would probably shoot me down in a heartbeat again if I tried to propose, but I’m just thinking about how I would still gladly spend forever with you and Mei.”

Mark lifts your hand up, kissing right there at the base of your finger where a ring would sit if you’d said yes to him.

Mei’s giggles quickly become your favorite sound in the universe. She giggles when Miso comes up to snuggle beside her. She giggles when her dads or the other guys play with her. She giggles when you talk to her in silly voices or when you blow raspberries on her belly. She smiles and makes babbling noises, such a happy baby.

“Mei-mei!” Ten coos, lifting her up. “How’s the happy little princess today?” He scrunches his nose at her adorably.

“She’s been fussy today, actually.” You’ve had her lying on a blanket on the floor in the living room while you sit nearby and fold laundry, and she’s been making little crying noises for the better part of an hour, but every time you’ve checked her diaper she’s been dry, and she’s not hungry either. You’ve tried holding her and talking to her, giving her her favorite new toy. Nothing had worked until you put YouTube on the TV and started playing videos of the guys—music videos, interviews, reality shows, videos from their channels.

They’ve all been gone all day. The 127 members, the Dreamies, and WayV were all out, and you don’t know the last time you were in the house without any of them, or if you’ve ever been there without them. It was strange, and maybe that’s what Mei had been picking up on. And now Ten’s the first one back.

“She seems good now.” Ten sits down on the sofa, sitting Mei back against his chest. She’s making little happy sounds, which only turn to giggles when Ten takes her hands and starts clapping them together between his. That entertains her for another minute or two before she starts getting whiny again.

Ten watches in surprise as you start playing one of WayV’s videos and Mei immediately calms down, her eyes watching the TV screen, transfixed.

“Honestly, I think she wants WinWin.” You sigh, folding the last of the clothes and sitting it on top of the neat pile you’ve made. “She’s only four months old, and already such a Daddy’s girl. I swear she already has some idea of the time he normally comes home, because she just starts to get so excited and looks at the door. And watch, when he starts talking.” You point at the video, and as WinWin appears and starts talking Mei makes such happy sounds.

Ten laughs. “Is it just him she does that for?”

You shrug. “Sometimes Jaehyun. I think it’s because they’re the ones always stealing her from everyone else. You know how possessive they both are of her.”

“And of you.” Ten bounces Mei a little in his lap. She’s got her hand shoved into her mouth, drooling around it, and Ten just watches her do it with amusement. “Johnny came to me a few days ago, complaining that you’d left him on the edge again. Something about Jaehyun calling you about Mei, interrupting what you were doing, then you left him like that?”

You groan. You know exactly what he’s talking about. A few days ago, Jaehyun had happily volunteered to babysit Mei to give you just a few hours to yourself to relax. That relaxing had consisted of you going to get a wax (just because Doyoung had eaten you out and afterwards commented that he missed the times when you would be so smooth down there) and a massage and a trim for your hair too. And when you got home, Jaehyun wasn’t finished having quality Mei time (a nap side-by-side on the floor; it was adorable and you snapped quite a few photos of them), so you climbed up the stairs to your bedroom, but before you went inside, Johnny had peered out of his room, saw the glowing happy state of you, and invited you inside.

You’d been excited to show off to him how soft and smooth you looked, and Johnny had been equally as excited to get to experience it. So he’d laid you back on his bed, touching and stroking you until your belly was on fire with lust, your pussy dripping, mind going fuzzy with just how much you needed Johnny to make you cum. He’d taken photos too, a few small video snippets as well, sending them into your groupchat with your boyfriends to show each of them what they were missing out on, and as he teased you with light brushes of his fingers over your clit, Johnny had read out the responses of what the others were saying.

By the time that Johnny was finally inside you, his big cock feeling so good, and his warm arms and body surrounding you, making you lowkey lose your mind at the all-encompassing feeling of Johnny Suh, you’d forgotten about everything but him.

Until there was a frantic knock on the door.

Both of you ignored it. Lips locked together, Johnny’s hips knocking you higher up the bed with your hand braced against the headboard to keep from ramming into it.

It took another few harried knocks on the door before Johnny grunted a clearly annoyed, “What?”

“It’s Mei,” Jaehyun said from outside the door. “She woke up crying and she feels a little warm, maybe feverish. Sorry to interrupt, but I don’t—“

He didn’t even get the chance to say anything else before you were shoving Johnny away from you, pulling clothes on that weren’t even yours, and you were out the door. Mei had been fine; it wasn’t a fever or anything, she was just a little warm and hungry, and by the time you got that sorted, you couldn’t even find Johnny to finish things off.

In the back of your mind, at the time, you had wondered if Jaehyun had just fibbed about Mei feeling feverish just to break up what was going on with you and Johnny. If he’d seen the photos and videos in the chat, if his jealousy had overwhelmed him enough to make up any excuse to get it to stop. You’d convinced yourself that that was ridiculous; Jaehyun seemed genuinely concerned that Mei might be sick.

But right now, Ten looks at you like he believes Jaehyun had done exactly what you were suspicious of.

“I thought Mei was sick, so I had to go take care of her, Ten.” You push to your feet, coming over to offer your hands to your daughter. She babbles excitedly as Ten hands her over to you. “It’s not like I could tell Jaehyun to just go watch her, make sure she didn’t get too high of a temperature while I stayed to finish Johnny off. And by the time I’d settled her down, I couldn’t find Johnny anywhere to pick back up or to even apologize.”

Ten nods. “Yeah, he was with me. Don’t worry. I took good care of him.” He grins mischievously. “But afterwards we were talking, and he said that kind of thing has been happening a lot. Him feeling left behind or left out. I think you two should talk.”

You think he’s right.

It’s hours later when Johnny gets home. Mei’s asleep upstairs; you’ve got the baby monitor beside you at the table while Chenle and Jisung argue over who gets the last ramen cup in the cabinet. Jungwoo, Mark, and Sungchan are playing video games together in the living room with Yuta and Taeil calling out advice and commentary from where they’re watching. You feel at peace again with the house back to normal, loud and busy and relatively chaotic.

Yuta greets Johnny as he walks through the door, and as he passes the doorway into the kitchen, you call his name. He passes by then backs up, pulling out a headphone. “Did you say my name?”

You nod. “Can I talk to you?”

Johnny pulls his headphones out of his ears, tucking them away in his pocket. “Of course.”

Yuta strides into the kitchen then, bypassing the two youngest members of the group who are now standing at the fridge together, and before either of them notice, he steals the ramen they’d been arguing over. You shake your head at him, and he just smiles.

“Yuta, can you take this.” You hand him the baby monitor. “Just keep an ear on it for Mei, please?”

Yuta glances between the baby monitor and your face and Johnny’s. Something clicks in his eyes, and his smile turns more suggestive. “Ah, alright. I’ve got our little angel. You two have fun.” He accepts the monitor, and walks back out of the room with the steaming ramen in the other hand.

Johnny follows you as you walk outside into their small yard. It’s deep night outside, quiet but the air still buzzes with the nature sounds of insects and the wind. It rustles your hair as you sit down on the bench, Johnny settling down beside you.

“What’s up?” He asks. You notice the way that he reaches down to the knee of his jeans, fiddling with the frayed hole there.

“I was talking with Ten earlier,” you say, “and he told me that last week when I skipped out on you, you went to him instead.”

Johnny nods. “Yeah, like, you don’t have a problem with that, right? Kun and Taeyong still fuck around with him too.”

“I know. I’m fine with that. But, Johnny, Ten said that you’re feeling left out in this relationship lately, and that’s what I want to talk about.” You reach over, laying your hand over his on his knee. “Why do you feel that way?”

Johnny’s quiet for a few seconds, looking at your hand on his, and then he lets out a short, sarcastic laugh. “I mean, it’s not a ridiculous way to feel right now, is it? Not baseless? I can count on one hand the number of times that I’ve had your wholly undivided attention, uninterrupted by someone else within the last, like, five months almost.”

“You mean since Mei was born?” You withdraw your hand. “Johnny, I’m sorry you feel that way, but you know I can’t just ignore my daughter, right? If she needs me, I have to go, because I’m her mother and that’s my responsibility.”

“Of course I get that. I know that you need to take care of her. It’s just fucking annoying when you leave me in the middle of something sexual.” Johnny argues, “Like, that time you gave me a handjob, and you definitely would’ve just left if I didn’t beg you to finish me off, and even then you did it so quick then just left. And when Jaehyun was fucking you, me and Mark walked in, got me so hard and then just told me to leave pretty much. Then there was the other day. And I get it, Mei needed you, but it just pissed me off that Jae interrupted, especially since it turned out that she was fine.”

You don’t know what to say. Those examples he gave you, two of those times it was because your daughter needed you, and the other time your body literally couldn’t take any more so there was nothing you could have done for him.

“And it just seems like you never have time for me anymore. There’s the sex stuff, but also, even when we’re together just talking or watching a movie or whatever it may be, I just feel like you’re not there with me. Like you’re thinking about something else, not listening to me or wanting to be there.” Johnny tilts his head back and looks up at the sky. “I love you, I really do, but lately it’s just felt like maybe I shouldn’t be here anymore. I want someone I can go have fun with and not have to worry about leaving me at a moment’s notice.”

“Well, I’m a mother, Johnny. That’s going to happen.” You tell him. “She comes first; she always will.”

“I know.” Johnny folds his arms in front of his chest. “So maybe we should end this. I thought that I was ready for a relationship like this, but now with all things considered – the other guys and Mei and everything – I think it’s too serious and too complex for me to be happy trying to keep doing this. Your attention is split too many different ways, and I hate ending it, because like I said, I do love you. But I... I just think that maybe we want different things.”

You look down at your hands, willing the tears not to flow, but you can already feel the hot tingle behind your eyes, the tightening in your throat. “You wanted a baby, Johnny. Do you remember that? We talked about it before I was pregnant. Hell, we talked about it while I was pregnant, when you were coming to the appointments with me, meeting my parents. You remember that, right? But now you’re saying that you can’t deal with having my attention split between you and her?”

“That’s not it.” Johnny’s voice drops low, offended and defensive as he says, “Not entirely. If it was just that, just split between me and Mei, I could handle that. But it’s the fact that you’re in love with all of us, that you’re dating all of us. That’s what I can’t deal with. You get that, right?”

You hate to admit it, but you do get it. This moment is strangely similar to when you and Lucas broke up. He had other reasons, mostly his growing feelings for Chaerin, but he also told you that one of the reasons was that he felt that your attention was too divided.

“I get it,” you agree. But you can’t bring yourself to look at Johnny.

“Are you mad at me?” Johnny asks after a few silent moments.

You bite your cheek, blink away the tears, and then you say, “Well, it’s not like I’m jumping for joy or anything over here. But I get it. I don’t like it, but not many people do like being broken up with.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again. His hand rests briefly on your shoulder, and then he’s gone, leaving just the heat behind from his hand.

Kun’s the one that finds you a while later. You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting out there, but the light in the kitchen has gone out when you hear the door.

“There you are.” Kun steps out, closing the door behind him to come sit beside you. “I was starting to get a little worried when I couldn’t find you anywhere inside.” As soon as he sits down Kun wraps his arm around your shoulders, drawing you into his side, and you lean your head down on his shoulder. “I’m guessing that talk with Johnny didn’t go well?”

You start to lift your head, but Kun lays his hand on your hair, pressing you back down. “How did you know about that?” You ask him.

“Ten. He told me that he told you what Johnny had been saying, and that you two needed to talk.” He strokes your hair soothingly. “And when I got home earlier, Yuta had the baby monitor, and when I asked, he said you were out here talking with Johnny.”

“Yeah.” You sigh. It feels like there’s a weight on your chest that won’t go away. You hate this feeling, like maybe if you’d just done something different, maybe you could make everyone in this relationship happy. But as you’ve been thinking about this since Johnny left you out here, the only thing different you could come up with is just choosing one of them from the start; that or not getting pregnant, but you can’t bring yourself to regret that one bit at all.

“What happened? If you want to talk about it?” Kun asks.

You pull your head away from his hand slowly, and Kun moves to let you do so. He makes a little sound as you sink down, resting your head in his lap and taking his hand to bring it back to your hair. The bench is a little hard and uncomfortable to lie on like this, but you don’t really care too much.

“We broke up. I didn’t, like, come out here thinking that’s what was going to happen. I thought we’d just talk, come up with a compromise or something, and then go back inside happily.” You close your eyes tight. “But Johnny thinks that I’m juggling too many people in this relationship, that I don’t have enough time and attention for all of you, plus being Mei’s mom on top of all of that. And he’s right, I guess. That’s partially why Lucas left me, and I know things have probably gotten worse since I had Mei.”

Kun twirls your hair around one of his fingers. “A little bit, but I thought we all understood that you have to focus on her. We can handle ourselves. But Mei needs you entirely; she’s a baby. And we, or at least I, can see that you’re doing your best to be what all of us need you to be. Aren’t you exhausted?”

You rub your cheek against Kun’s leg, loving the soft feel of his pajama pants against your skin. “A little exhausted.”

“You need a vacation.” Kun suggests. “You barely leave the house, so you need to just get away, get out of the city. Probably get away from all of us.”

A laugh bubbles out of you, and you turn onto your back so you’re looking up at Kun. He’s smiling, eyes glinting in the dim light. “Right, get away from all of you. And what about Mei? Do you think I could leave her here for a week or even a few days? With all of you?” You laugh again. “I love all of you, and I know most of you are good with her, but really, Kun? If you want me to relax, leaving my daughter here in this house without me would almost be as bad as leaving her in a fraternity house.”

Kun frowns. “We’re not that bad.”

You lift a hand up to touch his cheek. “No, you’re not. I know I can trust a couple of you with her, but I still couldn’t leave her.”

The longest you’ve been away from Mei is about four hours, and even then, she was only about twenty minutes away from you. What Kun’s suggesting, leaving the city for a getaway would last much longer and put your farther away from her than you’ve ever been before.

“Take her with you, then.” Kun turns his head, brushing his lips to your hand. “You, her, WinWin. Take a little family trip. He should have a few free days coming up on his schedule. And don’t mind anyone getting jealous about it if you take WinWin with you. He’s her dad. I think the three of you deserve some quality time together.”

It does all sound like a very tempting idea, so you keep that little idea wrapped up nicely in your mind for a few days, coming back to it again and again every time that a stressor pops up in your life. Like when you bump into Johnny and his expression shifts into something that’s a combination of sadness and concern and apology. After the third time of that happening, you decide maybe taking some time away from the house would be a good thing.

You bring it up to WinWin on a Tuesday morning.

He’s just woken up, rolled out of bed, and strolled upstairs into your bedroom. His hair’s still a wild mess, standing up in various direction, and looking especially silly because of the recent dyeing it had. You laugh and reach up to smooth it down as he flops down into your bed, dragging the sheets up. Miso hisses as the sudden sheet movement disrupts him bathing himself at the foot of the bed, and he stalks off, his tail held high, looking back once before he disappears out the door to give WinWin a disgruntled look.

“I want to go back to sleep,” he mumbles into your pillow. “But Hendery wouldn’t stop being loud. I get that he isn’t the one who had a schedule running into early this morning, but come on? Being awake this early?” WinWin smashes his face into your pillow, pulls the blanket up over his head entirely, and falls silent.

“You have a few days cleared on your schedule soon, right?” You lift the edge of the blanket so he can breathe. The lump under the blanket moves to signal a yes. “Do you want to get away and relax with me somewhere that’s not here?”

WinWin emerges from the blanket, squinting against the light. “What?”

“Kun suggested it the other night. He thinks you, me, and Mei should get away. Well, initially he just said me, but when I laughed about leaving Mei here in this house alone with all of you, he amended it to include you and her too.” You quickly reach up, trying to push his hair flat again, unsuccessfully. “What do you think?”

WinWin nods. “Sounds good to me.”

And three days later, you and WinWin pack up Mei and a weekend bag, and drive away to a beach a few hours away. You’re not there necessarily for the beach—after all Mei is only a few months old and you definitely don’t want to expose her to the sun or to the heat for too long—though it does make a very pretty view from the window of your hotel room. The pretty blue water lapping against the beach below makes you pause at the window, holding Mei who also looks out at the water transfixed (or maybe she just sees her reflection in the window and wonders who that other baby is), pressing her little handprints to the glass.

“Do you remember the last time we came to the beach?” WinWin asks, sneaking up behind you. He drops a quick kiss to your cheek, then brings a hand up to cradle Mei’s head.

“Mhmm.” You hum, and Mei waves a hand at the window, fingers leaving streaks on the glass. “I’m pretty sure last time we came to the beach is probably when we made her.” You stroke her soft cheek. “That was such a good day.”

WinWin laughs, and Mei turns her head to look up at him with her sparkly dark eyes. “I remember that day, like, I was joking around with Taeyong and Hendery, and then I looked over at you and Dejun sitting on the end of that dock. You were just sunbathing, and then the next time I looked over you were making out, straddling him, God, it was really sexy. I never pegged him as being the type to mess around in public like that, but neither was I really until right then. I still can’t believe we did that out in broad daylight where anyone could’ve seen us. Do you really think that’s the time that we made her?”

You shrug. “Probably. That’s definitely around the time that she was conceived. And Mei’s our little sea star. She loves her baths, and when I play white noise to help her sleep, the ocean waves are her favorite. Of course, that could all be a coincidence.”

WinWin smiles as Mei starts making nonsensical babbling sounds, kicking her legs as she looks back out the window at the beach and the people milling around in the sand. “We really did something good, didn’t we? Making her.”

“Absolutely.” She certainly wasn’t planned, but you don’t regret one thing about it. You and WinWin talk about this semi-regularly, both of you just absolutely enchanted watching your daughter exist, amazed that she’s the product of both of you. “And to think you almost didn’t come with us to the beach that day.”

WinWin shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about that. Mei-mei, you want daddy to hold you?” He repeats it in Mandarin, and as he says her full name Mingmei, she lifts her arms to him, so you pass her over. WinWin cuddles her, continuing to speak to her quietly as she gazes up at his face and clings tightly to one of his fingers.

It’s the next day when the three of you go down to the beach early on in the day, before the sun’s really beaming down, but nevertheless you’ve slathered Mei with some baby-safe sunscreen, you have a little adorable hat on her head shielding her from the weak sun rays. It’s not really warm enough to get in the water, but it’s nice enough that you and WinWin can sit on the sand for a while, put Mei’s toes in the sand, and eventually you carry her to the water’s edge and hold her right there, her little feet curl up as a cool wave washes over them.

“Does she not like it?” WinWin asks, chuckling as Mei lets out a sad little cry just once.

“You’re not too sure about that are you, Mei?” You laugh. She puts her feet back down after a minute, just to have another wave crash nearby, racing thinly over the sand, covering her feet. She watches the water carefully, and the next time it happens she giggles, quickly adapting to the strangeness of the water.

You don’t spend all day at the beach. There’s a temple nearby up atop a tall hill, so you put on a baby carrier strapped to your chest, fit Mei snugly in it, and you and WinWin go exploring with Mei along for the ride. It’s a nice walk, pretty out, and as you follow a path along the seaside, the breeze blows salty spray up at your faces. Once you’ve reached the peak of the hill, Mei is ready to be free of the prison you’ve got her strapped into on your chest, ready to be set free and held by her dad.

It’s breezy and cool, relaxing here atop the hill, looking down at the waves below. There aren’t too many people up here, so you decide to take a seat on one of the benches overlooking the sea, unpacking a little picnic.

WinWin sits across from you on the bench, both of you facing each other, and he holds Mei in his lap, her sitting up against his chest, waving her hands excitedly as you pull out a bottle you’ve kept chilled with your food. When you try to get her into your arms so you can feed her with the bottle, Mei just whines in protest, clearly wanting to stay with her dad.

WinWin, to be fair, tries his best to not grin in victory as you hand the bottle over to him so he can feed her.

“You know I carried you for nine months, right?” You tell her. “But he’s your favorite?”

WinWin just laughs, and as you watch him laughing and smiling, feeding your daughter, you fully understand why he’s her favorite. Why wouldn’t he be?

You take photos of them together, sweet snapshots of memory as the day goes on. WinWin feeding her, him holding her on his shoulders (you were both surprised and pleased just a few days before as she’d sat upright so well by herself), and even a photo of them looking out at the water with their faces side-by-side as WinWin talked to her in a gentle voice. But as the day goes on Mei starts to grow sleepy and fussy, crying loud enough that heads in the crowd turn to look, so you decide to go back to the hotel.

You sit out on the balcony together, the door cracked open behind you so you can hear if Mei starts crying inside. WinWin stands against the railing, and you stand beside him, your head on his shoulder.

“This is nice.” He sighs. “I don’t get many vacations, not many trips where I can just get away from all the cameras and everything.”

“Nice to get to relax some, isn’t it?” You turn your head and kiss his shoulder. “At least one good thing’s come out of Johnny and I breaking up.”

WinWin makes a soft sound of agreement. “We all knew this wasn’t going to be easy. From the start, we’ve all known that we couldn’t all stay here, doing this with you. I remember after we all found out that Doyoung had kissed you, we thought that was going to be the end, that you’d chosen him. But then a few days later Taeyong was bragging you’d kissed him. For a long time, this didn’t seem, like, real—that you chose all of us, that we were doing a relationship like this, and even when I finally realized that this was happening.... I definitely didn’t think that we’d end up here.”

“What, you didn’t imagine that all of our fun and fucking would lead to Mei?” You glance back over your shoulder. She’s asleep in a little portable playpen in a clear line of sight to you.

“Something like that.” WinWin’s voice sounds strange, and it’s only when he brushes your hair back behind your ear that you look up at him. “I love you. I’m so glad that we have Mei, even if the circumstances were kinda unconventional. But you’re happy, aren’t you? With Mei, with me?”

The longing in his voice, in his touch, warms your heart, and you lean in to his touch. “I am happy, Sicheng.”

You tilt your head to look him in the eye, and then he’s leaned in and is kissing you. The kiss is soft, tender, filled with every ounce of that longing that you’d just heard in his voice. You feel positively light and warm, so you let him guide you back inside. The balcony door slides shut behind you both, and you move past the playpen where Mei sleeps soundly, back into the bedroom. You let him peel your clothes away, kissing down your neck and shoulders and chest.

“You smell like coconut,” he murmurs as he kisses down your body, nose skimming between your breasts. “Mmm, love it.”

It’s like you’re drunk on the sun-warm heat of WinWin, the summer smell of sunshine in his hair when he’s kissing you on the lips again, the way that having him inside you and all around you makes you forget that it’s the tail end of summer and not the highest hottest part. You feel so good as WinWin makes love to you, both of you fallen into this high, dreamy haze together.

Even in the aftermath, sweaty and sticky skin pressed together, you can’t get enough of kissing him, his body still tucked between your legs, your fingers tangled in his hair as he lays against your chest.

“Mmm, god,” WinWin moans softly, kissing softly beneath your jaw, down the side of your throat, and retracing his steps to your lips. You smile into the kiss, giggling a bit as the way that his fingers brush over your ribs tickles. WinWin smiles, kisses you once again, and then leans up, breaking the kiss. He just looks down at you, and as you blink your eyes open, WinWin says, “Marry me?”

“What?” You trail your fingers over his miles of exposed skin. “Like, right now?”

He shrugs. “Whenever. I love you, and we have Mei, and I just want to marry you.” He kisses you again, but you put a hand to his shoulder, pressing him back.

“Dong Sicheng, are you serious?”

The warm glow pulses all around you, threatening to collapse or explode. The idea of what he’s proposing—marriage to him, a future with him as your husband and Mei’s father—it excites you, but terrifies you in equal measure. If you say yes to him, then what about the others? It’d be like a slap in the face. You love WinWin, of course you do, but you love them too.

You think of Mark, his underprepared proposal nearly a year ago, the hurt in his eyes when you’d told him no, but the persistent hope and love, the soft way that he traces a line around your ring finger when he holds your hand. You think of Jaehyun, a man so full of love and jealousy. You think of Taeil who looks at Mei as if maybe she could really be his daughter. You think of all of them.

“I am.” WinWin sits up, breaking contact with you, and the cool air floods in against your skin. “I want to marry you, but I know that you’re not going to tell me yes. Not now, anyway. But I just thought I should put that intention out there, let you know where I see this relationship going. I don’t expect you to actually tell me yes, so don’t worry your pretty head about it too much. Okay?”

He leans in, kisses your forehead, and then he’s slipping away, dragging his shorts back up, and he’s out of the room before you have the chance to say anything.

The rest of the vacation is very nice and relaxing, even after the slight awkwardness following WinWin’s proposal. Nevertheless, by the time you’re returning to Seoul, walking through the door of the big house with Mei in your arms, her fingers tugging at your hair, you’re pleased to be back.

The warmth of the beach faded quickly on the way back to Seoul where a chill has set in as the season turns over to autumn. As soon as you’re inside the house, Jaehyun, Taeil, and Taeyong are there, cooing at Mei, offering to take her from you. She goes easily into Taeyong’s arms, and he sweeps her away, playing with her and talking at her in a sweet baby voice.

Xiaojun’s there when you go back outside to help WinWin bring in the bags, and he pulls you quickly into a hug, tucking his face into your shoulder. You wrap your arms back around him, squeezing tightly.

Your reunion with most of your boyfriends goes as such, a warm hug, a murmured “I missed you,” a passionate kiss that gets booed and noises of disgust made at it. The last reunion is with Jungwoo as he gets home late from a schedule and comes into your room to use your shower, then crawls into bed with you and Mark, snuggling in between both of you.

“Where’s Mei?” He asks, casting one leg over yours, slinging an arm over Mark.

“Jaehyun and Doyoung are hoarding her,” Mark mumbles, pushing Jungwoo’s arm away. “How did the photoshoot go today?”

“Fine.” Jungwoo sighs, turning over so he’s on his back instead of his stomach. “They really liked Shotaro.”

You look at him, at the ever-so-slight downturn of his lips. “I’m sure they loved you too, Jungwoo. Like, yeah, Shotaro’s a cutie, but you....” You bite your lip and give him a once-over. “Very sexy. Sex appeal sells more than cuteness, you know. I know for sure your fans will buy up anything that’s got you looking sexy on the cover.” He’d looked so stunning when he walked into your room, his hair and makeup still done up from the shoot, and right now it’s all gone, but he is stretched out in your bed wearing only the towel around his waist.  

Maybe you reach out to touch him then, unable to hold yourself back when he’s lying there looking so tempting.

Jungwoo laughs at the ridiculously horny look you’re giving him. “Didn’t WinWin give you any sex while you were away? You haven’t looked this needy since before Mei, probably.”

“We did have sex. Several times. Should I tell you about them?” You can’t help it if you’re horny. Maybe that’s a good sign that your body is returning to how it was before the pregnancy, your libido skyrocketing again.

Mark leans up, resting his head on his hand as he watches your hands wander over Jungwoo’s chest, watches the way that Jungwoo’s nipples perk up, the way that Jungwoo bites his lip as you pinch at one of his nipples. You start telling them both about your fun on your little trip, continuing to touch Jungwoo as you do.

Mark just watches and listens, drinking in everything that’s happening. He watches you eventually swing your leg over Jungwoo’s lap, situating yourself right over the bulge that’s risen under the towel. He watches Jungwoo strip you of your shirt and bra; he moans a little as Jungwoo loses the towel and pulls you down, filling you with his cock. Mark moans again as Jungwoo starts touching your boobs, nuzzling against them, and then closing his lips around a nipple as you grind down on his erection. Jungwoo alone of your boyfriends is really into this; the others that tasted your milk thought it was okay or thought it was gross, but Jungwoo just genuinely loves doing this, tasting it on his tongue any chance he gets.

Jungwoo laves all of his attention on one, suckling as you ride him slowly. Then his other hand rises up to your other breast, the one closer to Mark, just massaging, his fingers occasionally tweaking your nipple.

And if Mark makes any sound you don’t hear it, but then he’s right there, head in front of your chest, tongue testing as milk leaks from your nipple while Jungwoo massages. Just as the first time it had been strangely very hot to have a boyfriend breastfeeding from you, so is it now, but multiplied as you’ve got two of them doing this.

As Mark grows more confident, he knocks Jungwoo’s hand away, and Jungwoo drops both of his hands to your hips, encouraging you to ride him faster. Both of them keep their mouths on your breasts even as you start fucking yourself on Jungwoo, feeling your orgasm building, getting closer. And then Mark’s hand slips down to your clit.

The orgasm bursts like a bubble of pleasure popped.

You shudder in their arms, quaking and moaning. Mark pulls his mouth from your tit, licking his lips.

“Good, Mark?” You ask after you catch your breath. You slump forward against Jungwoo. “Did you like that?”

Mark nods, looking a little dazed as if caught off guard by how much he’d liked it. You giggle, reaching to pull him in for a kiss, but just as you do, Jungwoo tips you backwards.

He drags your legs up around his hips, fucking into you now at his own pace, needing his own orgasm after he’s felt you cumming around him. Mark falls down beside you, happily seeking your kiss, swallowing down all of the moans that Jungwoo fucks out of you.

“Mark,” you sigh, “please. Please, let me help you feel good too.” Your hand searches down his body, looking for the spot where his shirt gives way to skin, so you can push your hand inside his shorts. “Mark, mm, please.”

Jungwoo nails a spot inside you that makes your eyes roll with pleasure, your hands grapple at the waistband of Mark’s shorts.

“You want my cock, baby?” Mark rolls away from you, getting off the bed so he can strip off his shirt and shorts, and when his weight next settles beside you, he’s naked, jerking his hand over his cock. “Open up, baby.”

Mark feeds you his cock, thrusting gently at first, his tip bulging your cheek, but you turn your head, breathe through your nose and let your jaw go slack, encouraging him to use your throat.

Neither of them are much for dirty talk, but as Jungwoo’s pace picks up to almost a brutal speed, you hear him start talking to Mark about you. “God, look at her, all open and pretty and wet for us, just a dripping fucktoy for both of us.”

“She’s our pretty slut again,” Mark says, thrusting down your throat, pinching one of your nipples. “Taking two cocks at once. When was the last time you did that, baby?”

It hasn’t been that long, not that you would tell Mark that even if you could right now, but the way that he’s now fucking your face makes it a little difficult to even draw breath, let alone attempt to speak.

Jungwoo cums a moment later, spilling his load inside you, but he keeps thrusting with his thumb on your clit until you experience your second orgasm of the night. He pulls out and leaves you and Mark, not that Mark notices really, too absorbed in fucking your face, feeling you moan and gag around him.

When Mark cums, he pulls back so just his tip is between your lips, and he looks down so he can see your eyes as you suck and flick your tongue over the slit on his tip. His hips just barely press forward, only the shallowest of thrusts between your lips, and he cums over your tongue, and you can feel just a bit of his cum dripping from the corner of your mouth.

Mark moans, swearing in at least two different languages, and after a moment he falls away from you, sinking back into his comfortable spot on the bed from earlier. You sit up, using your thumb to push what you’d spilled back into your mouth. Mark looks up at you as you straddle him, as you lean in to kiss him. He opens his mouth to your kiss, and makes a startled yet aroused sound as you let his cum leak from your mouth into his. But he takes it, kissing you with his cum passed between your mouths. It’s gross and dirty, but it’s something you’ve thought about doing before; you’re just surprised that Mark’s going along with it.

He swallows when you break the kiss, sitting up just a little so you can see his face.

Mark wrinkles his nose adorably. “That was gross. Does it always taste like that?”

You laugh and kiss his cheek. “Usually.”

Jungwoo returns a moment later, looking freshly rinsed clean, and he crawls back into bed with a damp cloth to wipe your face and chest and thighs down.

“Messy girl,” he teases as he watches you wipe between your own legs at where his cum is leaking out.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Mark mumbles, but Jungwoo’s already moving back off the bed, taking the cloth with him back to the bathroom. “Filthy, messy girl. Spitting my cum back into my mouth.”

He doesn’t sound like he didn’t like it, though.

You snuggle up against Mark’s side, your cheek on his shoulder, and Jungwoo cuddles up behind you, drawing the blankets up to cover all three of you. “Goodnight,” he whispers, kissing the back of your shoulder, “You know we love you, right? That we didn’t mean those things we said.”

You hum. “But I am a slut for all of you. I accepted that a long time ago.”

Mark pets your hair. “You’re an angel. Just go to sleep, babe.”

Several hours later you wake in the half-light of dawn in your bedroom. The door is cracked open a bit, letting in a little light from the hallway, and a nightlight glows in the corner, all of this allowing you enough light to see that Mei’s in her bed sound asleep. But it takes you another second to realize that Jungwoo is gone, that Mark is sitting up on the opposite side of the bed from you whispering to Doyoung.

“Doyoung?” You mumble, rolling over fully, stretching your arms above your head. “What are you doing? Where’d Jungwoo go?”

Mark leans over, kisses your forehead. “Go back to sleep. Jungwoo just felt like there wasn’t enough room with all three of us.” He brushes his fingers through your hair for another moment, and then your eyelids sink shut again.

The next time you wake, it’s much later. The sun is shining through the windows, Mark is asleep once more beside you. Taeil is sitting in the rocking chair, holding Mei and giving her a bottle. You almost feel a sense of déjà vu to a few months ago, though back then you’d woken in the middle of the night to this similar situation.

“Good morning,” you yawn, sitting up and stretching your arms above your head. “I didn’t even hear her cry out.”

Taeil shakes his head. “She didn’t. Jungwoo said you’d probably be pretty tired this morning, so I just came in to check on her. She just woke up a few minutes ago.”

You nod, and then look around, trying to find your phone, but it’s not on the nightstand where you would normally leave it.

“Why don’t you go shower?” Taeil suggests. “Lucas ordered in some breakfast for everyone.”

“Why?” You stand up, dragging the top blanket with you to keep your body covered.

Taeil shrugs. “I think he lost a bet yesterday or something. But go shower.” He tilts his head toward the door to your bathroom. “If you hurry there might still be some left.”

So you do go shower off, and when you come back out, Taeil’s gone but Mark is sitting in bed, his legs spread in a V with Mei lying on her back between them as he plays peek-a-boo with her.

You walk over to the nightstand to grab your phone, then remember that it’s not there. So you start looking in the bedsheets, then you crouch down to look under the bed.

“What are you doing?” Mark asks.

“Looking for my phone. I was going to send my mom some pictures from the trip.” You sweep your arm under the bed, only coming out with a pair of panties you thought you’d lost ages ago. You toss them toward the wash basket and then stand up, looking around, hoping that your phone will catch your eye from somewhere unexpected. “Have you seen it?”

Mark stands up, hoisting Mei up into his arms, and instantly she’s resting her head on his shoulder in a way that is absolutely one of the most adorable things. If she loves her dad the most, then Mark is a close second tied with Jaehyun. “Nope. Maybe it’s a sign that you should be away from your phone today. Did Taeil tell you about Lucas buying breakfast? I think he got some of those bubble waffles you’ve been wanting to try.”

You let it go for the time being. You know your phone is somewhere here in the house; you had it just last night while showing the boys some photos and videos, and now you’re just not sure where it’s gotten to. So you follow Mark downstairs to the kitchen.

Jaemin and Renjun are in there when you, Mark, and Mei walk in. They stay to hang out, playing with Mei to make her laugh while you and Mark eat breakfast, and then Mark disappears for a bit, and you give Mei a bath, play with her by giving her tickles and kisses, stretching her arms above her head and cycling her legs as you get her dressed. She smells clean and perfect, just a happy ball of sunshine as you bounce her in your arms as you walk around the house looking for your phone wherever it might be.

The house is oddly quiet. Most of the guys are gone though you can hear Jisung and Hendery playing video games downstairs. Eventually you walk into the room Doyoung, Taeil, Yuta, and Mark share, though right now only Doyoung is in there, curled up on his bed watching a drama, looking sleepy.

“Hey.” He sits up abruptly, pausing the show.

“Hey,” you reply. But you don’t stop to chat, you start moving around the room, nudging aside bags and piles of clothes, flipping the sheets on Yuta’s bed with one hand, moving Taeil’s pillows around. When you turn back to Doyoung he’s watching you with a confused expression. You sigh. “You haven’t seen my phone, have you? I know I had it last night, but I can’t find it anywhere this morning.”

Doyoung looks back at the drama. “No, I haven’t seen it. I’m sure it’ll turn up. Miso probably stole it. You know your cat is a real thief, right?” He glances back over at you. “Yesterday I caught him stealing a pair of my socks, and Taeil said he thought he saw him eyeing up that handstitched baby blanket from your mom. It’s like he’s nesting somewhere in the house.” He fiddles with his sleeve, and when his phone lights up beside his thigh with a notification, a thought enters your mind.

You lean closer, reaching for his phone. “Can I just use your phone to call mine?”

Doyoung snatches his phone away. “No.” He hides his phone on the opposite side of the bed.

Mei makes bubbly noise, blowing at her lips while she clings to your shirt as you try to reach Doyoung’s phone again. He moves it even farther out of your reach.

You stand up straight, shifting Mei slightly. “Doyoung, what the hell? Just let me see your phone.”

He shakes his head. His grip on his phone is so tight that his knuckles lose all their color. The screen lights up again from between his fingers, and you can just make out the sight of multiple messages coming through. And in the silence of this standoff you hear a quiet buzzing coming at the same time from beneath his bed.

Doyoung’s not fast enough to stop you as you crouch down and dig a hand beneath his bed, coming out with your phone in your hand.

“Wow, that’s crazy. How did that get there?” Doyoung asks in a very put-on voice, his look of surprise very clearly fake.

You frown at him as you rub the screen of your phone against your shirt to clean it a bit. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or do I need to look at this first?” You wave your phone, and at that moment, Doyoung reaches out and snatches it from you, hiding it right back beside his phone. “Doyoung. Seriously.”

You can feel Mei drooling through the shoulder of your shirt, but you don’t even care.

Doyoung shakes his head. “I just thought you could use some time away from your phone today.”

“Why don’t I believe you?” You readjust your hold on your daughter. “Are you really just going to lie to me like this?”

He shakes his head again, looking at you for a few long moments in silence as the phones continue to buzz periodically beside him. And eventually Doyoung sighs. He pushes away from his blankets, standing up in front of you, and then he puts a hand to your shoulder and presses you to sit down on his bed.

“The fans know about you and WinWin. Someone posted photos and videos of the two of you together on your trip. They got you and him and Mei looking like a happy little family, and this time I don’t think there’s any denying it like our team did last time.” Doyoung clears his throat. “And either that same sasaeng or a different one must’ve been outside here yesterday when you got home. There are photos of you and Xiaojun hugging. People are bringing up those old pictures and videos like they did last time. It’s a whole fucking mess, and I didn’t want you to see any of that.”

Suddenly the blurry memory from early that morning of Doyoung in your room whispering to Mark makes sense. The odd behavior of all of your boyfriends so far today, like the way Mark and Taeil had both tried to distract you when you were looking for your phone.

“We all think that you shouldn’t leave the house again for a bit. Like, fans are going crazy.” Doyoung’s hand massages your shoulder gently. “Like last time, there’s fans defending you and us, but there’s others too. I don’t think you need to see any of that.” He sinks down to kiss you gently, soothingly on the forehead. “We just want to protect you.”

You’ve been through all of this before, so this time it seems a little easier to handle. You can’t blame Doyoung and the others for wanting to keep you from seeing the things that are being said online. You even manage to keep yourself from looking at social media after you leave Doyoung’s room with your phone back in your possession. Well, at least for a little while.

Eventually you do look. You see fans talking about being so mad that sasaengs are camped out in front of the house. You see long threads full of the same pictures from before, with several more from your vacation with WinWin, plus several others that you recognize of you with the other boys over the last month or so.

You put Mei down for a nap and sit in the rocking chair beside her bed with your knees drawn up to your chest as you scroll through Twitter looking at all of this. You only get up to close the curtains over your window because even though your bedroom is on the top floor of the house and facing away from the street, you can’t help but feel surveilled. You see someone reposted some photos from one of those sasaengs that are apparently camped in front of the house, and you almost throw your phone away because you can hear that Ten, Johnny, and Taeyong just got home and those are the photos that are already being circulated.

This goes on for a few days. No statements put out by the boys or the company seem to sway the fans, and you can barely eat or sleep. You can’t leave the house. There are stalkers outside day and night, and you leave the curtains drawn on every window so you can at least walk around inside the house without feeling like they can see you.

On the morning of the third day, as the sun rises you’re sitting in the kitchen, watching Hendery sleepily eat a bowl of cereal. You haven’t eaten since about midday the previous day. You lost any appetite you might have had when one of the Dream members came home and a sasaeng nearly attempted to come in with him.

Since then their company did at least hire a security guard to stand in front of the house’s door, but your stomach is still tied in so many nauseous knots.

The front door of the house opens, sounding loud in the quiet munching of Hendery’s breakfast, and your heart sinks into the bare cavern of your belly, anxiety knotting your nerves. But then the door closes, and Taeyong calls out just loud enough for you to hear, “It’s just me.”

You hate that he knows that you’re this nervous about everything that he has to announce himself. He pops his head into the kitchen a moment later, gaze sliding from you to Hendery and then back again. He sighs at the look on your face, then comes closer. Taeyong asks, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Did you?” You retort. He already knows the answer, you can see it written on his face that he wouldn’t believe you even if you said yes. “No, Taeyong. I haven’t slept. Every time I close my eyes, I just think about one of them sneaking inside and coming upstairs.”

Taeyong strokes your hair. “We have the guard. He won’t let them in. He barely let me pass by.” He smiles lightly in an attempt to brighten your mood, but it doesn’t work. “Babe, I can see that you’re beyond stressed about all of this. If you need to, go stay with your parents for a while, until this all blows over again.”

“But what if it doesn’t blow over.” You swat his hand away, suddenly overwhelmed by irritation at the patronizing way he’s petting you. “Your fans have a long memory. They’re not quick to forgive either. And some of their theories online are disturbingly accurate. They hate me.”

“They don’t even know you.”

“Well, they hate me for being happy in this relationship with all of you.” You fold your arms over your chest and stare down into Hendery’s cereal bowl until you hear the sound of Taeyong walking away.

Hendery taps his spoon on the side of his bowl for a few seconds before he clears his throat. “Are you unhappy?”

You almost roll your eyes. Of course you’re not happy right now.

“I mean, like, in this relationship. With all of us.” He sits the spoon down and pulls his hands back into his lap. “I know it’s unusual and that in itself makes this more stressful. I guess, what I mean to ask is, do you think you’d be happier if this relationship were more normal? If there were less of us?”

You look slowly into his eyes. “What?”

“I haven’t really been in this since Mei was born. I think, for me, what you and I have has mostly been about sex. At least, as I’ve been thinking about it recently, that’s how I think it’s been.” He nibbles nervously at his bottom lip. “Right now, there’s a lot going on, and it’s stressful for you and for me, so maybe if I back out of this relationship it will help a little bit.”

You want to say, “Right, because piling heartbreak on top of the rumors and hate is going to help.” But you don’t. You keep quiet because maybe he’s right.

You haven’t had Hendery around much since Mei was born. It’s not like you didn’t invite him to be around, he just doesn’t come around. He’s there, but not really. You know he’d been somewhat excited about you having a baby, had been there for you as he believed that she could have been his, but once he’d seen her with his own eyes and held her in his arms, once he’d learned that she shared none of his DNA, that’s when you’d felt him withdrawing somewhat.

And you know he’s right about the sex. Yes, you’d had your romantic moments together. Shared intimate date nights, soft ‘I love you’s between kisses, and many of the things you’d shared with your other boyfriends, but truly from the start this thing between you and Hendery had been sexual. And sex with Hendery was something that you hadn’t had in months.

“I’m sorry.” You duck your head as you apologize. You’ve gone months ignoring Hendery’s sexual needs. “God, I’m a really bad girlfriend, aren’t I? You guys keep breaking up with me and telling me how good I am at ignoring you, making you feel left out. And you’re all right.”

“I’m not blaming you for that!” Hendery quickly says. “You’re busy! You’re a mom now. You have all of us to pay attention to. And for so long you couldn’t have sex after Mei, and like I said, I really feel like that was a key point to our relationship. It might sound bad to say this now, but like, our relationship has been over for months now, and we’ve just been pretending that it’s not. But I think it’s time that we finally put the end stamp on it.”

So you do, and you feel that stamp like a dull bruise on your heart.

But he’s right. Things between you and him have been over for months. Similar to you and Ten, the end of this branch of your polyamorous relationship has withered and faded away.

And as you rise from the breakfast table, hoping to go upstairs to maybe catch a few moments of sleep, you feel the instability of this whole relationship around you. You’ve lost four of your boyfriends in what feels like such a short time. And you’re afraid that they won’t be the only ones.

Ten looks ridiculous, cradling Miso like a baby in one arm, holding Mei in the other, grinning and bouncing them.

It’s been almost a week now since the rumors started up again, and they’ve died down some, but there’s still a lot of attention on you and the boys.

“Why don’t you just marry one of them?” Ten asks as you voice your worries aloud. “I mean, get married, admit that you’ve got a baby, it’s a little less than traditional but it’s not like it’s not something that’s happened before. Other idols have announced all of those things after the fact. That would get the fans to butt out, but right now they’re just being nosy, wanting to know the details of what exactly is going on. They want to understand your role with all of us. I’m sure Mark would be glad to do the honor of marrying you.”

You sigh before admitting, “Sicheng has also proposed to me.”

Ten makes a noise of surprise that startles Miso who twists his way out of Ten’s arms and drops to the floor. Ten quickly and carefully makes sure that he’s got a good hold on Mei and that Miso didn’t scrape her or anything in his escape.

Once he’s comforted himself that she’s fine (as if she wouldn’t have immediately begun squalling if Miso had caught her with a claw), Ten stares at you. “He proposed? And you said no? Also, since when do you call him Sicheng?”

“Since I realized it was weird calling my boyfriend, the father of my daughter by WinWin when that’s not his real name.”

“But you still call Hendery by his name, not his actual name. And Lucas.” Ten points out.

Your heart gives an odd little beat. “Yeah, but neither of them are my boyfriends anymore. And besides, I call Xiaojun Dejun sometimes.” You start listing off all of your boyfriends, suggesting you call them by their actual names rather than the ones you and pretty much everyone else use for them.

Ten waves his hand at you to make you stop. “You’re just doing all of this to gloss over the fact that WinWin proposed to you, and you turned him down. Do you just not want to get married or something? Is that what this is? Because that right there is a very good option: the father of your child, extremely in love with you. He’s the perfect solution to everything going on right now. Most of the fans already believe that WinWin’s definitely the one that you’re dating in the group.”

“Well, they’re not wrong. They just don’t know about all of the others. And all of the others are exactly why I can’t marry him. It’s not fair.” You thought about all of this the first time when Mark proposed, rethought it when WinWin proposed. “And can’t you just imagine what a slap in the face that would be to Mark since I turned him down? How Jaehyun would react?”

Ten rolls his eyes now. “You can’t live your life worrying about how Jaehyun’s going to react to stuff. He can be very dramatic, but I promise you, babe, he just wants you to be happy. That’s what we’ve all ever wanted for you. For sweet, sweet Mingmei.” He looks down at Mei then, making a silly face that makes her burst into giggles.

“I don’t want to get married to any of them yet. Not when I don’t know.” You clench your fists against your belly where the knots that have been there for a week still grow even tighter.

“When you don’t know what?” Ten asks, glancing up from Mei.

You shrug. “Everything. How everything will play out.”

Over the last week, especially these last few days since you and Hendery had the quiet breakup in the kitchen, things have felt so odd and unstable. Almost all of them dance around you and your feelings, it’s only your exes who seem to be perfectly fine, like Ten and Johnny. You can feel the tension in the air every time you pass one of your boyfriends, like the crackling of static electricity in the air before a storm.

You’re just waiting for the first rumble of thunder.

Weeks pass with nothing.

Then late October arrives, the days cool and overcast, but your days with your boyfriends and your daughter as she hits 6 months feel bright and sunny, watching her grow and excel every day.

But that was just the silence before the storm.

Clouds gather and the static feeling grows in the air as the silence surrounding this whole relationship breaks after so long.

Someone (“an insider” according to articles being posted online) spilled some details of the relationship, talking about how the members of NCT are all involved in some way or another with you. They don’t list your name in the articles, not that it matters because fans dig up your private information, your social media and things like that before you have the chance to prevent it.

It wouldn’t have been such a big deal, just another rumor to brush under the rug. Except that this insider had really offered up very specific details. They cite the time you went to America to join 127 on tour. How you broke up with them, only to come back a few months later and then miraculously wound up pregnant just weeks later.

The article makes it sound like you’re a gold-digging whore of the group.

You suspect that it’s a manager of the group that had leaked this info, they’re the only ones that could have had the information without spilling it for all this time. Not even any of your closest friends had known all of this.

But the article is a massive success, sweeping the internet.

And just like that, the storm you’ve seen approaching for weeks breaks around you.

Jungwoo is the first to approach you that same evening. The house has been disturbingly quiet. WinWin came and took Mei away a little while ago, telling you that you looked like you needed some time to yourself, and that he could take care of his daughter for a bit. You know he’s right. Especially when Jungwoo enters your room.

He looks like an anxious disaster, can barely get through his explanation. He cites the pressure and attention from fans on the relationship right now. The things he’s seeing online, as now fans aren’t only attacking you but are also saying very terrible things about the members. It’s destroying him.

“I love you so much, I really, really do.” Jungwoo promises, holding onto your hand so tightly that you swear you can feel your bones grinding together. “But I can’t be a part of this anymore, it’s not good for me. And, also, I just—I don’t think I’m ready to be a dad, not really. Like I thought I could be, but watching you and WinWin with her, seeing the responsibility and everything of it, I’m not ready for that. I think I’d be better as her Uncle Jungwoo, you know?”

You do. You understand. You hate it, but you get it.

Taeil comes in not too long later as you’re still wiping at the stupid hot tears that pour down your cheeks. You’re hiccuping from the force of your crying, and at first you think Taeil’s just heard you crying and has come in to comfort you. He sits down on your bed with you, grabs some tissues for you to blow your nose and wipe your face. He puts his arm around you, and you rest your head on his shoulder.

You can tell the moment when he’s about to say the words you don’t want to hear. His breath hitches as he opens his mouth, searching for the words to say.

You sit up and put a hand to his chest.

“Don’t.” You shake your head. “Please, Taeil. Don’t break up with me. Please.”

His hand covers yours, warm and soft. “Baby, I think it’s now or never, honestly.” His voice is slow and sad, overflowing with all of these different emotions. “I think that before this is all over you’re going to have to decide on one of us to be with, and I hate it, but I just know that it won’t be me.”

Those words hit like stones, and something breaks inside you as you press yourself against him, clinging, silently begging him not to leave.

This house you’ve lived in has been on such unstable foundations since the moment Lucas left you, and now you feel like the ground it’s been built on has turned to liquid. Taeil can’t leave. He’s been such a stable person that you can rely on here. You love him.

Taeil presses his lips to your hair, holds you as you cry, as you repeatedly ask him not to leave you too. But you can tell that he’s already made up his mind, signed out of this relationship, decided that the others rank higher than him, even though it’s his bed that you’d shared for so many nights. It’s Taeil that you woke up to on so many happy mornings; it’s Taeil that you’d once spent all night during your late pregnancy talking to as he touched your belly and spoke softly to your unborn daughter as she stretched and rolled, the two of you whispering together about a future that you could have together.

He holds you until you stop crying but only because your throat hurts and your nose is running and you’ve started hiccuping again. Taeil leaves only when the door opens again and Taeyong stands there.

“Oh, sorry, I can—“ Taeyong points his thumb back over his shoulder, as if he can leave and come back later. But Taeil stands up, gestures for Taeyong to take his place, and as Taeyong slides in to take up the place of the ghost of Taeil in your arms, Taeil slips out the door and closes it behind him.

You don’t even give Taeyong the chance to talk to you. “Are you breaking up with me?”

The way he goes awkwardly stiff is answer enough. A few seconds tick by, your head on his shoulder, wet cheek feeling stuck to the cotton of his tshirt. Taeyong sighs, “I don’t really belong here as much as I once did. And I think it’s far past the time we stop pretending that I do. I just think I might be happier somewhere else. You might be happier with less people in this relationship. You’re always juggling us and Mei, trying to make time to make each of us happy, but you don’t give yourself the time. I love you, I love Mei. I want both of you to have the best in life, and I just don’t think that you need me here romantically to do that.”

The words spill out of him, his thumb stroking over your knuckles as he says, “Besides, I.... I really like what I have going on with Ten. It’s easier, honestly. We understand what each other needs on some level that I just.... I don’t think you and I have ever really had. Ten’s good at making me feel small when I need it, powerful when I don’t. We have fun and can trust each other, and, like I said, I love you, but we don’t have that in the same way.”

By the time that Taeyong leaves, you feel wrung out. You’re surprised that there are still any tears left, surprised that there’s any more of your heart to break.

And then Xiaojun walks into your room. You’re half buried in your pillow and blankets. You don’t even properly see him.

“Just leave,” you tell him. “Just like everyone else.”

Xiaojun makes a noise, but you cut him off.

“Don’t. I’m so tired of breaking up, Xiaojun. Please, just, let’s get this over with. You can leave.” You turn your back on him.

“I wasn’t coming in here for that....” Xiaojun’s voice is small. “But if that’s what you want, I guess, um, I understand.”

You pull your blanket cocoon tighter around you, press your face deep into your pillow, and wallow in the darkness as Xiaojun closes the door behind him, night falls outside.

Some time passes. You’re not sure how long exactly, only that you’d heard footsteps passing up and down the stairs, doors opening and closing, showers running. The night sky visible through the tiny gap in your bedroom window’s curtains shows that it is dark outside, truly dark. You should be asleep by now, fallen into fitful dreams after the misery of the past several hours. You’d heard your bedroom door crack open a while back, heard WinWin’s quiet whisper to Mei, heard the pause, then he’d backed out of the room and taken Mei with him, leaving you to wallow in the sorrow of your breakups.

The house has fallen once more into disturbing silence when your bedroom door next opens. You can’t tell who it is right away. And then he turns the light on, flipping the switch to throw the room into blinding whiteness for a moment. You blink against it, rolling over to face the door, and once your eyes adjust, you see Jaehyun.

He presses the door shut firmly behind him, leaning back against it as he stares at you.

“Are you going to break up with me too?” You mumble, wiping your snot and tears on the pillow case. “You tired of being watched all the time? Being whispered about and shitted upon by your fans? I know I haven’t been ignoring you, so that one can’t be your reason.”

Jaehyun just sighs and pushes away from the door to come sit down on the edge of your bed. He rests his hand on your back, rubbing up and down to help you relax, but you just bury your face in your pillow again and keep crying.

This fucking sucks. You feel like your heart has been run through a shredder. Four boyfriends gone in one fell sweep, just a few hours. And you pray with every ounce of your being that Jaehyun’s not here to break up with you too. You don’t think you would blame him. You don’t really blame any of them—they deserve to live a happy life that’s not tangled in with this drama of the polyamorous relationship, your daughter, the heavy judgement from their own fans because of you—and it does make sense, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not heartbroken.

You twist your head to the side and look up at the blurry colors of Jaehyun’s face. He’s just watching you with what you think is a sad expression (but his face really is quite blurry through your teary eyes). If he’s here to end things with you, then you want to say what you have to say first, so you just say it: “Mei’s not your daughter.”

Jaehyun’s hand goes still on your back. You can feel just how tense he goes too.

“I know that.” His voice sounds tight.

“She’s not your daughter, and I know how badly you wished that she was, and now with all of this shit going on, I wouldn’t blame you if you were breaking up with me too.” You close your eyes. “You could go be free of me, go start dating some probably really hot model or actress or other idol, go make a super hot baby with her.”

“You’re right, I could go do that.” Jaehyun says it simply.

Your eyes flash open to glare at him, but he’s smiling softly at you.

“I could go do that, but why would I?” His hand starts moving on your back again. “I love you. How many times do I have to say that before you get it through that thick head of yours.” His knuckles knock gently on your forehead. You frown, and Jaehyun just laughs. “I love you,  and I love Mei even though she’s not biologically my daughter. I don’t know why you think that I would leave you just because of that.  I know when we broke up the first time it’s because I was shitty and jealous all the time, but I’ve grown, haven’t I? And regarding what you were just saying about finding a hot model or whatever to have a baby with, I have no intention of leaving you for anyone else. You are already hotter than I can handle, thank you. I have a beautiful daughter downstairs. And if you ever want any more beautiful babies in the future, I’m right here to help with that. If you don’t, then that’s okay too. We have Mei.”

Your eyes feel hot and your breath hitches in your chest for an entirely different reason than minutes before. You squeeze your eyes shut as fresh, hot tears spill over.

Jaehyun sinks down to lay on the bed right in front of you. His thumb traces over the mess of tears on your face, and you bring your hand up to the back of his.

With your eyes still closed, you confess, “I’m so afraid of what the future holds right now. I feel like you’re all going to leave me. All of you.” You sniffle, then quietly say, “But then you have to go and say stuff like that, Jung Jaehyun. Do you mean it?”

“Every word. Promise?” Jaehyun offers, his pinky finger intertwining with yours already. 

You squeeze your pinky in a loop with his, and you each press a kiss to your hands to seal it.

“Why did you think I was going to break up with you?” Jaehyun asks after a moment. “Who else did? Why?”

So you start to explain to him the past several hours in a story with pauses for you to get through your hiccuping tears, with many deviations down side tracks through history explaining why you understand their reasoning. You talk and talk, and Jaehyun listens and holds you.

And by the time the morning sun rises, you don’t really feel better necessarily, but for the moment you feel like you’re at least being held together, you feel like maybe everything going on right now does suck immensely, but you have Jaehyun here holding you in his arms, ready to shield your fragile heart from anything else that comes your way.

Adore You <- Previous || Next -> Let Me

a/n: so this is the end of Part 1 of the Finale (I’m sorry for stretching it out into two parts, but this story isn’t able to be wrapped up in less than 40,000 words apparently). I really hated writing this, like there were so many breakups and poor y/n has to go through so much heartbreak in this part :( but it was inevitable, something I’ve been hinting at pretty much since the first part of the series I’m pretty sure. Part 2 should be posted pretty soon, so I promise the wait for it won’t be so long, but what do y’all think? Who do you think she’ll end up with? Several of them or just one? 

As usual, please let me know what you think through comments, reblogs, likes, messages, whatever. Sharing is definitely super appreciated!

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing viii.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 1, 964

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

“I can’t believe this!” Jeonghan puffs while he drops his belongings loudly onto the table in the study lounge, causing a few other students to turn and glare.

“Would it kill you to be quiet?” Jungkook grumbles, picking at the edge of the paper of his textbook, eyes never straying away from the content of the page.

“No. I will not be quiet because I thought football bros were bros for life!” Jeonghan whines.

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. “You know that’s kind of concerning when you put it that way.”

Jeonghan simply waves the other boy off before he leans forward as if he has something important he has to say. Jungkook knew him well enough to know that it would either waste Jungkook’s precious study time or be something so out of the ordinary that he can’t help but be intrigued.

Jungkook shrugged and takes the chance, anyway.

“Namjoon bailed.” He deadpans. “Again!”

Jungkook stiffens ever so slightly but feigns disinterest with a noncommittal hum.

“Really.”

Jeonghan nods his head, or shook his head—it was hard to tell because he was all over the place and he seemed more displeased than anything.

“I never thought we’d lose our own captain to a girl.” He sniffs.

Jungkook sighs, already done with the conversation because somehow no one can ever mention Namjoon without mentioning you now, apparently because the two of you were hanging out much more frequently. He’s bitter. And he’s confused—because he’s attempted patching things up with you but you only would ever reply to him with curt responses than the enthusiastic ones you used to flatter him with.

JK: hey. there’s a new cafe outside of campus. U wanna go?

Smarty Pants 🐰: Im busy. Next time? :)

JK: are u free tonight?

JK: im heading to the library later. wanna meet up for some ramen first? On me!!!

Smarty Pants 🐰: sorry jungkook, meeting w administrators for pastoral care matters

Smarty Pants 🐰: Do you need help with the content?

JK: oh… it’s fine, just wanted to hang out with you. We haven’t done that in a while

JK: jimin said u finally have some free time next week? Let’s catch up! i’ll treat u to some banana bread :D

Smarty Pants 🐰: i have plans with joon. which day were you thinking?

JK: Anytime. When are you meeting hyung?

Smarty Pants 🐰: we kind of have plans every day, here and there. could I get back to you?

And that was it. The blow that Jungkook knew he deserved but couldn’t deal with. You had tried your best to avoid any personal interaction with Jungkook and he didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“They’re kind of perfect for each other, don’t you think?” Jeonghan interrupts Jungkook’s sour mood when he recalls all his failed attempts at trying to meet with you personally.

Jungkook blinks then furrowed his eyebrows.

“Who?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Joon and your friend _____.” He knocks on the table. “Bunch of nerds together.” He adds with a snicker.

Jungkook stiffens, hands clutching his textbook tighter.

“You say that like there’s something wrong with being a nerd.” He says slowly.

“There isn’t. Really.” Jeonghan defends. “It’s just so … fitting. Captain of the football team who’s lowkey a softie and an art nerd with the overachiever on campus. Their IQ’s combined are probably in the 300 range.”

Jungkook scowls.

“Haven’t you heard of the phrase ‘opposites attract’?” Jungkook asks sourly.

Jeonghan scoffs. “Yeah. Like you actually believe in that cliche phrase. Come on—we all know you’re likely to end up with someone who’s more like you than different.”

The insinuation doesn’t sit well with Jungkook, but he can’t chew Jeonghan out for it anyway. He didn’t know the nature of your friendship with him, nor was he aware of the history the two of you shared.

“Never say never.” Jungkook shrugs.

Jeonghan rolls his eyes before taking out his laptop and settling into a comfortable position.

“I think he’s going to ask her to be his girlfriend soon.” He says off-handedly as if he assumed Jungkook gave a shit.

He did, and his heart drops to his stomach.

“Hey,” Jungkook calls out when he spots you slip past him at the foyer outside the humanities building.

You twirl around at the sound of your name being called, and your eyes widen when you spot Jungkook walking towards you with furrowed brows.

“J-Jungkook?”

Why you sounded so scared to see him, he wasn’t sure. But he knows that he’s frustrated because it’s the first time he’s seen you after the game where you and Namjoon left to hang out at the exhibition, despite his desperate attempts at calling you out to hang out with him.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Jungkook frowns, cutting straight to the chase.

You splutter for a response, and you realise that you’re basically gaping at him when you clutch your folders tighter to your chest.

“I’ve been busy, Jungkook. I told you this.” You softly remind him.

Jungkook scoffs, and he feels his mean bone grow; feeling the need to correct you because you were smart—and both of you knew that your excuse was lame.

“Really?” He says dryly. “Too busy to hang out with me but not with Namjoon?” He can’t help how bitter he sounds, especially when he’s heard from the rest of the football members; including Jimin and Taehyung that you were spending a suspicious amount of time with the captain.

You furrow your brows at him when Jungkook stares you down, waiting for a response.

“That doesn’t change the fact I was busy.” You huff.

Jungkook frowns at you, clutching his backpack tighter with his hand as he notices the way you avoid his eyes by dropping them to the ground.

“Why are you being like this?” Jungkook accuses, tone already on the offensive.

You gape up at the boy, brows scrunched in displeasure.

“Me? I’m not being anything. I told you that I was busy and we would rain check, didn’t I?”

Jungkook tongues the inside of his cheek, frustration pooling in his stomach. “Somehow you’re only busy whenever I want to hang out, right?” He scoffs sarcastically. “I thought we were good.”

You stiffen, knuckles turning white when you grip your belongings harder.

“We are.” You say curtly.

“No, we’re not.” Jungkook retorts. “If we were then you wouldn’t need to find shitty excuses to get out of hanging out with me.”

You open your mouth, then close it. You feel yourself grow more exasperated with Jungkook the more he can’t realise the fact that you were still finding a way to navigate the throes of your relationship with him.

“They were not shitty excuses.” You snap. “Listen, we can meet tomorrow for coffee if you really—”

“That’s not what this is about!” Jungkook exasperates, breathing out in a huff.

You purse your lips. “Then what is it, Jungkook? You came up to me and started accusing me of lying to you because I couldn’t meet up at the times you proposed.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw when he notices the way your voice gets increasingly sterner when you talk to him. It only reminds him of the way you used to chastise him when he was younger when he’d do something that was ‘immature’ but standard for a teenaged boy.

“I apologised!” He cries. “I’m sorry I was a dick before this but I’m really trying to fix things between us but you’re—”

“I’m what, Jungkook?” You interject with a frown. “I’m doing my best at healing?” You add softly. “An apology won’t erase what happened.”

Jungkook feels himself deflate, especially at the way your eyes dart away when he attempts to look into them.

“I know it won’t but I just want things to go back to normal.” He sighs.

You screw your eyes shut, finding the words to say before you look at him with such sad eyes that he nearly pulls you close just to comfort you so that he wouldn’t have to acknowledge the fact that it was his fault.

“It’s not that easy.” You whisper, gripping at the hem of your sleeves. “It may be for you but it’s not the same for me.”

Jungkook releases a sigh so loud that your eyes widen, as he attempts to think of something better to say—to offer.

“I really am sorry.” He lamely apologises, his voice sounding a lot like a scolded child.

“I know.” You nod. “But you don’t know how it feels to have …” You swallow. “Whatever. We’re good. I just need time, Jungkook.”

Jungkook furrows his brows when you turn away to stalk off, but he grabs at your elbow to turn your body to face him. Your eyes briefly make contact with the way he’s gently holding onto you before they tilt up to meet his confused gaze.

“How it feels to have what?” He pries.

You sigh, shaking off his grip. “Look. It doesn’t matter. I’m being sensitive.” You deprecate immediately.

Jungkook doesn’t miss the spite in your tone, especially when you say it so firmly and seriously when you dismiss him.

“I want to fix this—us.” He pleads desperately. “Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

As if his words set you off, your eyes snap up and blaze with the pent up fury and anger you’ve been suppressing the entire time.

“Me? Be honest with you?” You scoff. “Real fucking funny. Because when I was honest with you, you turned it on me and took advantage of my vulnerability.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “What—?”

“You want honest?” You fume. “Fine. I’ll give you honest but you better listen closely this time because I won’t be repeating myself again.” You poke into his chest, even if it’s fierce and stern, he feels the heartache pouring through. “You were my best friend, Jungkook. You were and are someone important to me and you fucked me over because you knew I couldn’t say no to you. You knew how I felt and you took advantage of that fact just so you could get what you wanted and go.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, confused at the information you were throwing at him.

“How you felt—?”

You cut him off again with a huff. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know. Why else did you think I did all the shit you wanted?”

“I-I don’t understand.” Jungkook stutters, head caught in a loop when you glare at him harder.

“You knew every bit of insecurity that I had and you weaponised that against me just so you could keep me close.” You say softly. “You knew, either way, I would’ve stayed because I’ve always been there, Jungkook.”

“You’re confusing me.” He deadpans, grabbing onto your shoulders so you were forced to stare at him.

He notices the glistening of your eyes as he feels his heart constrict when he realises you’re trying your best to keep your tears at bay.

“Well, you did it first so it’s only fair.” You sniffle. “You can act like shits fine because you weren’t the one who was attached. I was. So just let me have this time to myself to figure things out because I can’t even be around you without being sad, Jungkook.” You whimper.

He calls for your name but you're already furiously rubbing at your eyes as you curse under your breath as you spin on your heels to hurry away.

Jungkook gapes at you as he attempts to process what you just said, but before he can get another word in—you're leaving him to feel the weight of your words in the footsteps that draw further and further away.

[ka-za-ri]

Press Play

It’s lunchtime somewhere. Have a sandwich. Pairing: Lucifer x Reader x Simeon Genre: PwP Smut Wordcount: ????     Tags: Smut, porn without plot, Demon sex, Angel Sex, Threesome, Toys, hand jobs, spit roasting, Sex Toys, Dom/Sub Undertones, sensory deprivation, temperature play, body worship, double penetration, size kink Summary: Lucifer and Simeon give you reason to look forward to movie nights with them.

Movie nights with Simeon and Lucifer became a rather regular occurrence once Simeon discovered just how large Lucifer’s backlog of unwatched movies had become. The angel made sure Lucifer set aside time once a week for at least one meet up. It took some persuasion, and a lot of pouting from both you and Simeon to get Lucifer to agree. The meetups started off innocent enough. Lots of cuddling and laughs were shared between bowls of popcorn as Lucifer slowly got caught up to date with the movies he missed due to his hectic schedule. It was a time for all three of you to relax, to enjoy each other's company and to forget about the stresses of the world outside. It was hard not to look forward to the movie nights especially after a week of study and corralling rowdy demon brothers. On that couch, you were safe between the two of them. There was no chaos, just a movie and their arms around your shoulders. From time to time, Lucifer would feed you from the shared bowl while Simeon offered you sips of his drink. It was pure, innocent and comforting. Until one day while were fully invested in the film and not paying attention to what they were up to, they slowly guided your hands to their crotches. By the time you noticed what they had done, they were already half hard and using your hands to stroke their lengths. “Oh, don’t look away, the best part is yet to come.” Lucifer said, making sure you focused on the flashing images in front of you instead of the growing bulges beside you. “Yes, you don’t want to miss this.” Simeon agreed, curling your hand around his shaft and encouraging you to stroke him. Lucifer mirrored the action and as the movie reached its climax, you realized you had a more interesting climax at hand, literally. It wasn’t until the credits started to roll when you were allowed to turn your attention to what the men had started. They leaned in, kissing you at the same time while your hands groped and stroked their lengths through their pants. Eventually Simeon won out, claiming your lips while Lucifer trailed his kisses elsewhere, down your jaw, to your neck where he greedily sucked at your pulse point. Their hands guided your own, showing you how they liked to be stroked and you were overwhelmed by the information overload trying to keep up with the differing paces they preferred. “Wait, Is this... alright? I mean, Simeon, you’re... an angel and all.” Simeon chuckled softly, kissing your cheek and nipping your ear. “Oh Little Lamb, how cute you are. Do you think a little sex is a crime punishable with a Fall? Humans are so gullible.” He rolled his hips into your hand encouraging you to keep going. “Why would the Heavenly Father find something natural a sin? There are crimes more serious than pleasure.” “Something like a rebellion?” Lucifer joked, squeezing your breast and he was rewarded with a gasp of pleasure when he pinched your pert nipple through your top. “Hmm Something like that, yes.” Simeon agreed and he let out a breathy moan when your fingers squeezed the tip of his cock harder than he had anticipated. “So, you shouldn’t worry about me, Little Lamb. You should be more concerned about how you’ll make us cum at the same time.” At the same time. You weren’t sure how you were going to manage the different tempos they demanded, and your arms were starting to get tired of the repetitive motions; but you were definitely interested in seeing them both come undone by your hands. Just touching them through their pants wasn’t enough. Almost as if they shared one mind, they had divested themselves of their pants and both of them were kneeling beside you, their cocks tantalizingly bobbing in front of your face as you went back to pleasing them with your hands. Without the barrier of clothes, it was much easier to pull a reaction out of them and they no longer needed to guide your hands into doing what they wanted. Simeon preferred a lighter touch and long, careful caresses while Lucifer loved it when you gripped him tightly to go hard and fast on his cock. Though their rhythms differed, they worked in tandem somehow with your hands and came at the same time after you fondled their balls and traced the heads of their sensitive, dripping cocks. Their seed, covered your face and your hands in thick, hot ropes as their dicks pulsed and they groaned in unison. “Your turn.” Lucifer declared, licking the mess on your face while Simeon cleaned off your hands. Once all trace of their loads were gone, they turned their hungry gazes to your own aching crotch and they parted your thighs as they settled between your legs. “I’m hungry.” Lucifer announced before delving into your soaked core. “Snacks weren’t enough.” Simeon agreed before letting his tongue join Lucifer’s and you writhed as they greedily lapped at your essence through your panties. When they couldn’t get enough of you, the soiled scrap of cloth was wrenched to the side unceremoniously and their tongues licked up your juices, probed at your entrance and circled your clit. The combined heat of their breaths and the lewd, wet sounds coming from between your legs brought you to climax much faster than you had anticipated. “So soon?”Simeon asked, his bright eyes held a fair bit of glee. He pulled away and you could see your essence glistening on his chin. “The credits haven’t even finished rolling.” Without any further preamble, he dove back in with Lucifer to continue their post movie snack until the credits and the extra post movie scenes were over. “So, same time same place next week?” Lucifer asked once silence fell over the room and you were reeling from your third orgasm that night. “Y-yeah... that sounds like a plan.” ~~ To say that you were eager for your ‘movie nights’ going forward was an understatement. It was the driving force that got you through the weeks. The thought of being between Simeon and Lucifer again occupied your mind and often you were caught daydreaming about what you could get up to in the upcoming meetups. You came to know their desires very quickly. Simeon was a tease. He loved watching you squirm and writhe under the lightest of touches. He was a romantic, full of kisses and cuddles once you were doing being used. The angel had a mischievous side to him, preferring to take slow, deep strokes inside of you, forcing you to feel the bulbous tip of his cock drag itself across your walls and memorize just how good his cock could make you feel. He loved you on your back, sprawled on the couch and disheveled, moaning for him as he took his sweet time fucking you. All the while Lucifer would occupy your mouth, muffling those pretty moans with his member. He adored seeing your throat bulge with the outline of his cock as he fucked your face. The way you would always gasp for air after he came down your throat was so erotic to him and never failed to get him going for another round, switching places with Simeon who would kiss your bruised lips so tenderly before encouraging your tired jaw to open up and accept his own length into it. Lucifer was a rougher lover. He pounded into you without abandon anytime he got the chance to sheath himself in your pussy. You always needed to nurse bruises during the week after he was done with you; not that you really minded. Shameful as it felt, you loved the feeling of his nails digging into your flesh, marking you and reminding you of the times you shared with the two of them. Different as they were, they were passionate lovers and never ceased to have you reeling in pleasure every week. While the movie played in the background, they found new ways to please and tease you until the very end of the film. With how long they had been alive for, they knew just how to play you like an instrument, drawing out your pleasure for as long as they wanted. Some nights, they would fuck you without abandon from the beginning to the end, other nights, they would pass you back and forth until you were ready to pass out and your pussy was filled with their seed. Yet other nights, the three of you would be stuffed full of your favorite toys, riding and grinding down on them, passing the remotes to the vibrators to one another and teasing each other until you all were over stimulated messes on that couch. Pretending to pay attention to the movie on the TV was difficult when you had two exceptionally attractive men moaning beside you and stroking their cocks in time with the hand held fucking machine thrusting in and out of your pussy until the three of you came at the same time and indulged in copious amounts of cuddles and kisses before deciding to do it all over again. Their methods of pleasure was as varied as the movies they chose and every week it was a surprise until you swore you had experienced it all with them. You had a good grasp on what they liked and pleasuring them came easily to you now. As soon as the door closed and the movie started, the three of you would spend at least the first ten minutes kissing each other deeply, fondling each other through clothing before everything inevitably came off by the time the first act was over. From there, you could almost predict what would happen depending on how the week had gone. Some weeks, Lucifer would have you and Simeon bound and kneeling before him, demanding that he be pleased first before he even thought about allowing either of you to think about pleasure. Other weeks, Simeon would have you tied down and spread on the couch so he and Lucifer could spend the whole film kissing every inch of your skin and counting how many times you could cum before the movie ended. You were more than happy to adapt to their whims, listening to them without question and following their lead. You thought knew them like your favorite movie. That comfort and routine had you falling into complacent lull which was how you ended up making the mistake of thinking nothing they did could surprise you anymore. ~~ You should have known better that there was something off when Lucifer lead you to a more private quarter that week than the room they used for your regular movie nights. You should have noticed how well padded those walls were, how the dim light illuminated everything. It should have been an indication of how that they had plotted this for some time now when Lucifer cast an extra strong spell of privacy over the room. It wasn’t until you heard the rustle of clothes and feathers that you realized what you were in for. Both of them were glorious and their massive wings seemed to encircle you in a cage once they both approached you sandwiching you between them. “A proposition.” Simeon started, tilting your chin up so you were forced to look into his eyes. “How about we make our own movie this week?” He glanced to the side and your gaze followed his. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the recording device set up on the dresser. You swallowed hard, unable to deny how much that thought turned you on, but also how much it intimated you. Being on camera, being recorded with such beautiful men felt wrong. “Oh, I know that look, Little lamb.” Simeon cooed, kissing your forehead softly. “Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. Just follow our lead.” Behind you, you heard the rustle of clothing as Lucifer disrobed. He took your hand and brought you to the massive bed. You didn’t remember Simeon’s room being this spacious, nor the bed so large, but you didn’t have time to think about your whereabouts as your hands were tied above you to the headboard. Your legs were spread and tied to the posts at the foot of the bed. Once Lucifer was sure you weren’t going anywhere, he sat down next to you, his fingers brushed through your hair and his wings gently caressed your arms as he directed your attention to the angel in front of you. “Watch.” he commanded, and you could only obey. What followed was the most sinful strip tease. Simeon dropped the cloak he normally wore around his arms and let you drink in his angelic form. The white wings framed his body, keeping your eyes on him and only him as he traced all of his dips and curves through his skin tight clothes, peeling them off slowly, enticing you with every new inch of skin he revealed. You were practically drooling when his pants finally came off. You gasped when you saw his girthy cock and you shuddered, wondering if you could take something like that in you. Which suddenly brought the thought of Lucifer’s dick to the forefront of your mind. Glancing to the side, you took stock of his member and gulped at the monster between his legs. The demon chuckled, his fingers still stroking your hair gently and he leaned in for a soft kiss. “Don’t worry. We’ll make sure you’ll be properly ready for us by the end of the night. For now, relax.” You nodded, but you were unable to take your thoughts away from the tapered tip of Simeon’s cock which gave way to a massive swell. You unconsciously clenched just imagining how wide he would stretch you out before you could get to the base. The swirling ridges and thick veins of his member were unlike anything you had seen before, at the base, you could make out a substantial ring of taught muscle you could only imagine being used to lock him into place once he was inside of you, similar to the hefty knot that sat at the base of Lucifer’s cock. “You’re thinking too much.” Simeon chided coming over to grace your lips with a soft kiss. “I promise you’re in good hands.” He reassured. Your body was still tense with intimidation, his words did little to alleviate the fear and he could see it in your eyes. Beside you, you heard Lucifer sigh and pad across the room looking for something. “I suppose we’ll have to find other ways to relax you.” He came back a moment later with a silken blindfold. Carefully draping it over your eyes, he made sure it was securely on before dipping down and kissing you deeply until you moaned into his mouth and were breathless. “Better.” There was a moment of silence between the three of you while the angel and the demon contemplated just how to relax you. Lucifer had been so excited to get you tied up, he had forgotten to take your clothes off and so the first step was working together to undress you, undoing the ties only when it was necessary to slip your clothes off. You visibly shivered when you were left bare in front of them, in front of that camera. “Better.” Simeon finally agreed now that all three of you were in a similar state of undress. You heard a soft popping sound followed by a sharp gasp from Simeon. You heard it again but this time followed by a quiet grunt from Lucifer. Confused, shook your head back and forth, trying to figure out what had happened. Your confusion stopped when you felt the softest tickle of a feather caress your skin. There was the sound of wings flapping as they adjusted to fit you in a feathered cage. “Did you know....” Lucifer drawled, dragging his feather across your skin and watched as you twitched under the light touches.  “You’re absolutely adorable when you’re at our mercy?” “You are.” Simeon agreed, teasing your spread pussy with the tip of his feather. “You’re so cute when you’re an incoherent mess for us. I can’t help but look forward to seeing what kind of faces you can make tonight when our cocks make you scream.” You shivered, struggling against your bindings but to no avail. The knots held tight and you were helpless. You could only focus on the tingling sensation that followed in the wake of their teasing. The feathers felt different from each other. The one Lucifer dragged across your body to tease your nipples left a trail of warmth, like a soothing touch on heated skin after being spanked. The tip of the feather prodded your nipples until they were aching and sore, the heat intensifying until it was almost unbearable. As soon as it got too much, he would move to your other breast, repeating the process in a cycle that had your mind reeling. Simeon’s lips were practically attached to your neck, kissing and nipping the sensitive skin there while his feather toyed your pussy. The cool, tingling sensation spread across your nether lips and down your thighs as he drew errant patterns across your skin, watching in awe as goosebumps appeared in the wake of his feather. Your clit was toyed with until it was almost numb, your essence coating the feather, soaking it as he continued to toy with your body. Then, they switched. The heat moved to your core and the chill traveled up your abdomen to tease your nipples. The drastic change in temperatures had you wailing and thrashing as the heat from Lucifer’s feather felt like a brand against your sensitive core. The cold on your nipples made them pucker and stand painfully erect. “Adorable.” Simeon cooed, admiring how you heaved and writhed under him. He reached to the bedside drawer and picked up one of the candles that had been illuminating the room. carefully hovering it over your chest, he watched with glee as the hot wax dripped from the candle and splattered against your skin, welting the skin and making you cry. You were too hot and too cold at the same time. The assault of sensations made your mind go blank and all you could focus on was feeling good, sounding good and letting them play with your body to draw out every sensation they could from you. They weren’t done yet, far from it. While Simeon focused on wax dribbling down your chest and carefully let hot droplets tease your oversensitive nipples, Lucifer had reached to the ice bucket which housed a bottle of wine. Finding a suitably small piece of ice, he dragged it across your thighs after his feather, making you shiver and moan. Pausing at the apex of your thighs for a moment, he let you catch your breath before sliding the melting ice into your waiting hole. His finger pulled back the fleshy hood of your clit and he pressed the feather directly against the bundle of nerves, rubbing it roughly, coating it with your essence and overwhelming you with heat and cold at the same time. “You can cum when the ice is melted.” He stated, assaulting your clit with the feather. His teeth found your collarbone and he bit down, hard, kissing your skin after he left his mark. Watching you come undone from their combined efforts was nothing short of a treat. The chill of ice within you faded as your own body heat melted the cold object. It felt like it took eons to do as Lucifer asked, but as soon as you no longer felt the ice in you, your whole body shuddered in completion, your inner walls collapsed clenching around nothing and your clit throbbed almost painfully as you rode out the waves of pleasure from your intense climax. Both the angel and the demon descended on your lips when you came, kissing you deeply thrusting their tongues into your mouth, moaning as they drank in the sounds of your orgasm. The blindfold was ripped off your face and you blinked to adjust your eyes to the light once more. They kissed you until you were breathless, tired and dizzy, but the night had only begun. You knew matter how tired you were, the two of them would push you past whatever limits you had until they too were satisfied. “There, nice and relaxed.” Simeon purred, carefully peeling off the dried wax from your skin and admiring the patterns it had left across your chest. He dipped between your breasts, pressing soft kisses on the tender skin while you were still wrapped in the afterglow of your climax. The ties that held your arms and legs were undone and Lucifer cradled you in his lap, fondling your tender breasts. Your limbs slowly regained feeling and your bleary vision cleared just in time to witness Simeon in front of you, stroking his length, eyeing your drenched pussy, licking his lips and dreaming of the moment when the two of you would become one. “I know you probably don’t feel ready, but I know you want this...” He leaned in to kiss you. Lucifer moved his legs to lock with your own, and spread you open for the angel. “I’ll make sure to go slow so you can feel... everything.” With one last reassuring kiss, he pressed the tips of his cock to your entrance, hissing from the residual cold from the melted ice. Your canal warmed up soon enough as you could immediately feel the swell of his cock push into you. There was no time to adjust, his shaft was nothing but a series of thick bulbous ridges that only got wider until it tapered off just a bit at the base where the muscular ring sat. You were stretched wider and wider with every inch, losing your breath at the sensation of taking Simeon in this form. “There, now. You’re doing so well.” Lucifer praised, pinching your nipples to keep you conscious of the current moment. “Look at that, he’s almost all the way in.” Lucifer guided your gaze down between your legs and your heart skipped a beat when you saw that he was correct. There was maybe an inch or two left before he would be fully seated in you. You took a deep breath and allowed the angel to make the final push to sheath himself within your walls. Simeon let out a low groan, nipping at your shoulder and he held you close to take in the sensation of being surrounded by you. “You’re so hot.” He whined, “So tight, so perfect...” He grunted, rolling his hips into you and your body shuddered at how deep he was able to reach. You let out a breathless whine grasping at the sheets below you, reeling at the sensation. “I’m so proud of you, I knew you could do it.” Lucifer praised, trailing kissed down your neck. He glanced over at Simeon and gave the angel an imperceptible nod, egging the angel to move more. Simeon didn’t need any more encouragement, slowly sliding his length in and out of you as he was wont to do. He never fully pulled out of you, just far enough to the widest point of his cock before sliding back inside of your snug, tight walls. The ebb and flow of being stretched and relaxed had you mesmerized and before you knew it, you could feel your climax approaching. He could feel your walls fluttering in anticipation of the end and that was when he stopped moving all together. You were left hanging just at the precipice and you could see the excitement in Simeon’s eyes as he too was enjoying the moment; but you couldn’t forget about the demon behind you. “I hope you’re ready for me too...” He murmured softly and for a moment you were confused about what his words meant. The meaning became crystal clear when the hard tip of his cock pushed against your already stuffed hole, seeking entrance to a space that was quite full already. You gasped, squirming away from him but there was no winning against his inhuman strength. “N-no... it won’t fit , It’s too much.” You protested Lucifer dragged his length up and down your soaked lips, coating his cock in your essence before pressing against your hole once again to join Simeon. He let out a low, dark chuckle. “Breathe, my sweet, trust us.” He reassured. “Just imagine how good and tight you’ll feel when we’re both all the way in you. That ridge of his and my knot buried inside, stretching you out, claiming you.” You could see the image in your mind, but feeling it was something else entirely. You were already at your limit, or so you thought. But Lucifer was persistent and with some coaxing, the tip of Lucifer’s cock eventually slid inside beside Simeon’s. Whatever limits you had were going to be tested now. Somehow, against the pain and the stretch you felt, you could feel your muscles clench, tightening against the new intrusion, accepting him, drawing him further into you. “That’s my Little Lamb.” Simeon praised, kissing you and distracting you from whatever pain your abused hole was feeling. “That’s it, take us all in.” Your mouth hung open in a soundless scream as Lucifer’s cock drove itself further and further inside of you. The long shaft going deep within, brushing against your cervix when he finally reached the base of his knot. “Amazing.” he breathed, marveling at the tightness of being together with you along with Simeon. “Simply amazing.” And then, they started to move within you. Their motions were perfectly synced making you see stars and the heavens beyond them. You clung onto Simeon, though your arms had long lost feeling. At this point, you only served to be a fuck toy for the two of them, something to be used for their carnal pleasures and you wouldn’t have it any other way. The way their cocks worked in tandem sliding in and out of your hole had you cumming almost immediately. But, they weren’t anywhere near done with you. Not until they claimed you and truly made your theirs. They went faster, deeper, harder until you couldn’t see straight. The sound of skin slapping against skin mingled with grunts and moans filled the room along with the sticky sweet smell of sex. “Oh, oh God!” You screamed when they slammed you down to the base of their cocks at the same time. “God is not here making you moan.” Simeon growled, digging his fingers into the supple flesh of your ass and gripping it hard, spreading your cheeks out to gain more access to your pussy. “There is no God here, just us.” Lucifer bit your neck hard, leaving deep teeth marks in his wake, nearly drawing blood. He seethed at the Heavenly Father’s name and it only fueled his need to claim you. “If you’re going to call out a name, why don’t you make sure it’s mine.” he commanded, forgoing any decorum and roughly thrusting into you, ignoring whatever semblance of rhythm he had with Simeon earlier. You cried out, tears streaming from your eyes, your voice hoarse from screaming and your body sore from the abuse it was taking. They made you feel like a sinner and a saint all at once, the mix of pain and pleasure too much for your mind to bear and eventually all thoughts faded to the background until there was nothing but euphoria. Your head lolled back, resting against Lucifer’s chest and you blearily looked up at the ceiling as you accepted your fate between these two men. They were nearing their own climaxes. Seeing you lose yourself in the throes of passion drove them to the edge they sought and your body reached its final trial. Their thrusting slowed as they pushed you down on the hard knot and thick ridge of their cocks. You couldn’t remember screaming, but you did remember thinking you were being torn in half. You clawed at Simeon’s back, drawing blood from scratching him so deeply. The angel hissed, his long lashes fluttering as he softly encouraged you to accept them, all of them. And then, there was pure bliss when you felt them securely embedded within you. It was a feeling of fullness, of contentment you had never felt before. It felt as if your very soul had ascended at that moment. With one final grunt from Lucifer and a breathy moan from Simeon, they released their loads into you at the same time. The copious amounts of their seed flooding your insides, causing your belly to swell as  you accepted their offering to you. The hot, sticky ropes of cum leaked from your pussy as they seemed to pump into you ceaselessly. You thought this surely must have been what paradise felt like as you yourself came around them one last time. As you felt your consciousness drifting away from you from your final climax. You remembered being gently lowered to the bed while both the angel and the demon were still inside of you. Their cocks were still hard and pulsing cum into you at intervals.  “You did so well, Little Lamb.” Lucifer murmured, using the pet name Simeon often used for you. “You deserve some rest.” “Yes, rest, my Sweet.” Simeon encouraged, pressing kisses on your forehead and your cheeks. “You were perfect.” “So... Does this mean same time, same place next week?” You asked tiredly. “I don’t mind shooting a sequel.” Simeon agreed wholeheartedly. “Why just a sequel? We could make it a proper... trilogy.” Lucifer chimed in, holding you close and wrapping his wings around you. Simeon followed suit and that night, you dreamed of what sort of blockbuster the three of you could come up with.

[uramichislefttiddie]

Matahiko Nekota

{Warnings: smut (I don’t go into full detail)}

Sorry for being so inactive for such a long time, I just needed time away from media to try and get my mental health a bit more better and overall just needed a break but thank you for all the followers and likes on my posts, I really do appreciate it very much! <33

You were meant to only be a babysitter towards him, nothing more and nothing less, yet with each passing moment he couldn’t help but let in the thoughts that were subtly creeping up into his mind that consisted off you who was only meant to be a babysitter.

There you sat opposite Matahiko with his 4 year old son Matataro, reading “My Neighbour Totoro” the young boy slowly drifting off into a soft slumber whilst his arms were wrapped around you as tight as possible. Matahiko felt his body become warm from the sight in front of him.

“Hey I’ll be back i’m just going to take him to bed quickly.” He nodded his head in reply with a delicate smile given in your direction. As you made your way upstairs you hadn’t realised the footsteps that were trailing after you, Matahiko was following behind you getting ready to pounce onto you at any given moment when you were free from the children. Once you had sorted both kids out you made sure to carefully shut the door not wanting to awake either of them. Before you removed your hand another hand had already cupped yours pulling you into their direction quickly. You jumped slightly back from the surprise resulting in a finger pressing against your lips signalling you to be quite to which you easily obeyed.

Two hands were now clutched at either side of your hips, his forehead pressed against yours, eyes full of desire staring directly into yours against the moons radiance engulfing you both. Silence encased the dimly lit hallway awaiting for any sound of life. Matahiko’s hand came up to softly cup your head, rubbing his thumb over your lips whilst his own formed into a smirk. He closed the remaining gap between you both making your legs feel weak, gripping onto his shoulders for support, fearing you might loose balance.

His lips still attached to yours he began pushing you to the door that led to his bedroom, Matahiko messily fumbled to remove all clothing off both of your bodies, kissing you everywhere whilst in the process. Within the time you had babysat for his two children you had never thought one day would’ve turned into this, you always had thoughts about him but for them to become a reality? It was out of the question for you.

Your mind was foggy, not a single thought being able to form properly. It was almost like you were in a daze until your head was turned to meet the questioning eyes of Matahiko, you quirked an eyebrow in response to his actions.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He once more repeated so you could hear, his eyes never once leaving yours. Once you let him know you were he reconnected his lips to yours, trailing his hands down your body making shivers run down your spine exciting you. Light kisses were peppered along your body down to your thighs where he softly nibbled at your inner thigh leaving you impatient. You could feel his cold breath dance along your skin making goosebumps arise on your body at his touch.

Matahiko made his way back up stopping at your neck and leaving his marks all over, letting anyone else know you were his and his alone. After every mark he left he’d blow gently onto them making your mind daze over and your body send shivers everywhere at the cold feeling. His hand, more roughly now wrapped around your neck as he desperately moulded his lips into yours not planning on breaking the kiss anytime soon. You could feel his hips grinding against you in need of some feeling against the tension that was building up within him, it was clear that Matahiko was becoming impatient too with the way his breathing had become shallow and his eyes heavily lidded with a glaze coated over them that glowed with hunger.

Both of you were broken out of the trance you were in when you could hear Tamako’s crying coming from down the hallway making Matahiko tch in annoyance and you giggle at his reaction. “I’ll go check on her, you stay right there.” You pulled yourself out from under him but not without a fight, he wouldn’t let you get away from him as he just wanted you to stay there but you both knew one of you had to at least check up on the kids as it was only fair and the right thing to do.

“You better come back though, don’t leave, please?” His eyes like a puppy’s, begging for attention. His hand still lingered on your wrist and wouldn’t budge until you reassured him enough that you would indeed come back to him after checking on the two in the other room and sorting them out beforehand.

This was a kinda of a quick one seeing as I haven’t posted anything for quite awhile, if you haven’t noticed I don’t really go into full detail as I just genuinely can’t for some reason?? Anyways don’t forgot I do take requests from any fandoms but there may be a few I can’t do as I won’t know the character but I’ll try my best!! I am in the process of doing a few requests but keep them coming through (:

[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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[joel-millerr]

The Chase - One Shot

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader

Rating: explicit

Word Count: 5k

Summary: You bet Mando you could last two hours on the run without him catching you. Reluctantly, he agrees to the bet.

Warnings: outdoor (rough & unprotected) sex, hunter and hunted type of vibe, mild choking, being gagged, size kink, mando talks a lot during sexy time, maybe slight dom/sub mentions?

A/N: this is just my take on the whole “bounty hunter and quarry” fantasy. also I basically wrote the smut and then added context around it. this is pretty much shameless smut  /// 

*Masterlist can be found here**

--

It started out as innocent banter.

“I definitely think I could last a couple days,” you told him, slouching in the passenger seat inside the cockpit.

The modulator scoffed at you. “No.”

“Are you doubting my skills?” You asked, eyebrow cocked.

He swiveled his chair around to face you. “That’s not it.”

“Then tell me what it is, Mando.”

Even though you weren’t able to see what his expression was, you could tell by his body language that he was getting annoyed. The way his hands fidgeted at his sides, the way he leaned his body back in the chair—something he did every time you tried to rile him up about something. Despite the fact that he hid behind the beskar, he was generally easy to read whenever he was irritated.

“I bet I can last two days.”

“You wouldn’t last two hours, let alone two days.”

Now that was a challenge you didn’t want to back down from. Anytime someone told you that you couldn’t do something, it scratched that itch inside you to do that exact thing. Your incessant need to prove people wrong sometimes got the best of you, but Maker, the satisfaction you got from it was worth the consequences.

“I’ll take that bet,” you said to him, feeling your stomach stir.

“I wasn’t—”

“Too bad, Mando. You challenged me and I accept.”

--

And then the rest was history. All you had to do was last two hours without Mando tracking you down and then you could die happy knowing you evaded the best bounty hunter in the parsec, even if it were for a short period of time.

You’re not sure what planet Mando lands the Crest on but it’s definitely one of the quieter ones because he’s landed the ship in a large clearing with only woods as far as the eye can see. It’s not a problem for you, though. Growing up on Naboo meant you were always exposed to forests and clear landscape. In theory, this is the best place he could have chosen, not that you’d tell him that.

“There are some ground rules for this,” he begins to say, standing in the galley of the Crest.

“I’m all ears,” you answer back.

Mando lets out a chuff of air that crackles up through his vocoder, like he’s still considering calling this whole thing off, but after weeks of still not finding a Jedi for the kid, you both need a little distraction.

“First thing, no guns.”

“Okay, that’s understandable.”

“Secondly, you keep the commlink open at all times,” he orders.

“Not a problem,” lips curling into a smile, you already feel the adrenaline pump through your veins, body itching to get this whole bet started.

“Thirdly, if you somehow manage to last the day, we check in once it gets dark.”

“Ouch,” you take a step back, slightly offended at his jab. “You have so little faith in me.”

“I’m not the one overestimating my abilities,” he jests. Who knew Mando could be so snarky?

“Do we call it off at night and wait till dawn?”

“If you want to make to things easier.”

Oh, so that’s how he wants to play.

“All right, Mando. We don’t stop.”

“I don’t know how safe this planet it, but you shouldn’t run into any trouble.”

“Okay, yeah Mando, let’s do this,” you’re basically shaking from the thrill of all this. You can’t wait to show off your evading skills.

“I’ll give you an hour head start. Put as much distance between yourself and the Crest as you can.”

“Don’t worry, Mando. This isn’t my first time running away from someone,” you say with a smug smile.

“Fine,” his voice terse.

Your turn your back to him and face the open ramp. With your heart banging against your ribcage and your palms damp with sweat, this might be the most exhilarating thing you’ve ever done.  

“Be safe, I’ll see you soon,” He says with a hint of mockery. He’s so confident in himself, it’s actually getting under your skin.  

Looking over your shoulder, you hit him with your own jab, “We’ll see about that,” and then you’re descending the ramp.

Once your feet hit the ground, you think of the best direction to head towards. In order to do this successfully, you’ll need to choose every single one of your movements very carefully because any slip up could end up hurting your chances to win.

You hear your named being called, so you turn around to look back at the Crest and see Mando standing at the top of the ramp.

“When I do find you, try to put up a fight.”

That sends heat right to the apex of your thighs. If you didn’t have enough incentive, that was the last nail in the coffin. You’ll make this as hard for Mando as you possibly can.

You shoot him one last devilish grin and disappear from sight, opting to go to your right. Once you reach the forest edge, you break off into a sprint, heading deeper and deeper into the foliage.

The forest isn’t too dense, but there are roots everywhere on the ground and you stumble on a couple of them, nearly falling flat on your face. The positive to having so many branches and roots in the ground means the chances of your footprints showing up in the mud are low but Mando’s got a heat tracker on his helmet, meaning he can still track your movements without actually seeing your prints.

The adrenaline keeps telling you to run, run as fast as you can, but the rational part of your brain realizes that no matter how much distance you put between you and Mando, it won’t matter unless you have a clear plan as to what tactics you’ll need to use in order to make sure he doesn’t find you.

Should you try to find the closest village?

Should you stay in the forest?

Think, think…

You continue to put some more distance between you two and when you feel as though you’ve made some progress, you check the clock on your commlink.

2:50PM.

In ten minutes, Mando will leave the Crest and begin tracking you. You’ll have to start making important decisions soon. When you entered the planet’s atmosphere, you tried to pinpoint a specific spot that might give you some kind of advantage. If your memory serves you correctly, you saw a small area that appeared to be some kind of canyon. Ideally, that might be the perfect spot to find some shelter. A hard surface means no footprints.

Now if you could only find out how far away you are from it…

As you take in your surroundings—which is basically just trees and more trees, you think about finding a high enough viewpoint for you to see where this possible haven could be. A few metres away you happen to see a tree that appears to be much larger than the rest of the ones around it. Its branches look sturdy enough for a human to climb and it doesn’t take you long before you’re heading straight for it. You haven’t climbed a tree in years but if there was a perfect moment to touch-up on your skills, it’s right now.

As you climb up the stump, the branches and leaves break apart, and the sky begins to get clearer and clearer. When you finally reach the very top, you’re so high up that you’re able to spot what you were looking for. It looks like it’s a couple more clicks away, but you were lucky enough to be already heading in that direction. The Maker must be on your side.

One more look at the clock.

3:01PM.

Shit, you have to start moving.

If you start to climb down the tree, you’ll end up losing precious time, allowing Mando to close some of the distance. It’s something you can’t risk. Eyes scanning the woodland between you and your hideout, you come to the conclusion that you’ll have to jump from tree to tree and pray you don’t fall and break any bones. It’s incredibly risky, and your inner self is warning you against it. If you do fall, you’re screwed, breaking a lot of the bones in your body. You’ll have to hope that these branches will be able to carry your weight.

Trying to balance yourself on one of tree’s larger arms, you crawl across it on your knees, knowing damn well if you stood up, you’d lose your balance and fall down, and it would be a pretty big fall. You’re easily fifteen feet off the ground, maybe more. Fuck, this might have been a horrible idea, but it’s frankly too late to turn back, you’ve made up your mind and you need to go through with it.

The jump from the branch you’re currently on to the adjacent one you’ll be jumping onto is about four feet, but it’s not the jump that concerns you. What concerns you is the sturdiness of that branch. Will the impact cause it to snap? Will it make too much noise, letting Mando hear it? All these questions are racing through your mind as you hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears. The longer you consider it, the more time you waste. You’ll just have to take the chance and hope everything works in your favor.

“Okay… I can do this,” you whisper, psyching yourself up.

As you slowly rise to your feet, your legs are buckling. You take one last look down, fully realizing that this idea is absolutely bonkers and jump.

When your body hits the branch, you latch your arms around it, landing on your stomach. To your surprise, the branch doesn’t break off, it barely even moves.

Success.

You continue to leap from branch to branch, until the rest of trees in your wake look too unstable for you to leap onto. Luckily, the tree you’re currently on isn’t too far from the ground, so you’re able to climb down it in under five minutes before reaching the ground. Keeping still for a moment, you wait to hear something.

A twig snap, leaves rustling, anything, but you don’t hear a single sound.

“Did you actually climb these trees?” You hear Mando’s voice through the commlink on your wrist, which startles you.

Is he already there? He’s already so close, how is he already so fucking close to you?

“Um, no?” You reply.

“That’s convincing,” he answers dryly.

If Mando’s already reached the tree you started climbing at, then he’s really not far behind. You’ll need to start sprinting again. Without trying to make noise, you begin to tiptoe around the forest, trying to be as quick and efficient as you can. It doesn’t take long until you see a break in the forest and somehow quicken your tread to the clearing.

Once you reach the wood's edge, you’re about to take a step into the clearing when you stop yourself.

Kriff, if you step into that open field, you’ll be sticking out like a sore thumb, which is a risk you cannot take. Instead, you’ll have to walk along the sides of the clearing, keeping to the trees and hoping you won’t be spotted.

“Are you really about to step into that glade?”

Your breathing hitches, everything inside you is burning up, adrenaline nearly making you shake uncontrollably.

He’s found you.

He sees you.

Keeping very still, you turn your head in every direction, desperately trying to see where Mando is but you can’t see a fucking thing. You consider making a break for it—which direction, though? Do you turn around and head back into the forest and hope that you’ll be able to lose him in the trees? Do you stick to your guns and continue to make for the mountains?

“Better make up your mind quickly, pretty girl. Time’s running out,” he’s fucking taunting you. Mando knows exactly where you are and is relishing in watching you struggle in deciding what to do next.

There’s something incredibly titillating knowing that he’s watching you, right now. Predator watching prey, observing your every move, waiting for the perfect time to ambush you.

“What are the chances I outrun you?” You breathe into the speaker on your wrist, chest puffing in and out heavily.

Mando doesn’t answer right away, mulling over your question. “Very slim.”

“But not impossible?”

You’re sizing yourself up. You know damn well there isn’t a chance you lose him, not when he’s got eyes on you, but you have an advantage on him. Carrying all that armor on his body makes his movements more abrupt, meaning he’s less agile and relies more on his weapons to catch a bounty rather than his own speed. All you need to do is outrun him, make yourself impossible to catch and then maybe, just maybe, you can reach the other end of the forest without getting snatched.

“What are you planning?���

“’Put up a fight’,” you repeat the last words he said to you. “That’s what you said, right?”

“Yes?”

“Well… Come get me.”

And then you’re racing into the glade, your legs moving as fast as you possibly can. The air whipping passed the burning hot skin on your face, lungs feeling like they’re on fire, you’re running so much faster than you ever thought you could. Maker, you didn’t even know you could sprint this fast. Taking one quick look back over your shoulder, you see Mando break out from the forest edge, racing after you. He’s a couple metres behind you, but he seems to be closing the gap between you quicker than your efforts to gain distance.

Starting to panic, you make a sharp turn to the left, hoping he’ll be caught off guard, giving you just a few more seconds to stretch out the distance.

“I’ll give it to you, you’re much quicker than I thought,” he pants.

You’re so close to the forest, just a few more sprints. With your legs burning and getting tired, these last few metres are either going to make or break you, but with the determination to prove him wrong, you refuse to give up. You can almost taste freedom… just one more step—

And then you’re falling to the ground. Face slamming into the grass so hard, your vision goes fuzzy, and your head is pounding, hearing a faint ringing in your ears. When you turn over on your back, you look down at your legs and see your feet wrapped up in grappling line. Still in somewhat of a daze, you try to unravel the coil from your ankles with haste before Mando can close in on you. The tall grass shields your view, stopping you from seeing anything until it’s directly in your face, which mean he can be just a few feet away without you even knowing it. If you have any chance at slipping passed him, you need to move very fast.

Just as the cord untangles from your legs and you jump to your feet, you see Mando standing in front of you, just a little further than arm’s length away. Standing in place, you freeze up like a prey animal being spotted by its predator. Maker, he’s intimidating, carrying himself with such confidence and gusto that it could make even the more fearless predator cower in his presence and because you can’t see his expressions, you have no idea what he’s thinking under that bucket of his.

“Well, you managed to last two hours,” he notices after checking the time on his vambrace.

Relaxing your shoulders and readying yourself to break off into a sprint for the woods, you cock your head to side and chuckle. “Technically, you haven’t caught me yet.”

He tilts his head ever so slowly to the side, chest puffing out. With caution, he takes a step forward and in turn, you step back, maintaining the little distance between you two.

“Don’t make this harder for yourself.”

“When have I ever made it easy for you?”

The visor’s locked on you. Both of you stand incredibly still, waiting for someone to make the first move.

“Don’t run,” he warns.

It’s impossible to ignore the stirring in your stomach. It’s time to face the facts, you’ve already been defeated. There’s not a chance in hell you can possibly win this. You fucked up, somehow. Maybe you shouldn’t have started climbing trees, maybe you should have gone left instead of right. None of those things matter anymore. The only thing that matters how is what your next move is.

“Isn’t this what you really wanted?” His voice hitting low in the register.

Oh?

Does he mean what you think he means? Your pussy gushes, and you’re hit in the face with reality.

You would have to be a fool not to notice the way Mando looks at you on the Crest, and how you look at him. There’s clearly chemistry between you two, maybe even infatuation. It’s been three months since you started travelling with him which means there’s been three months’ worth of sexual tension. Both of you felt it, the electricity in the air whenever you were alone together. The air would get thick, your heartrate would quicken, and you’d wait for him to make a move, but he never did. Whenever you felt like that day was finally the day he’d let go of his devices and fuck you senseless on his ship, he’d retreat to the cockpit and lock himself up for hours, leaving you to take care of yourself in the fresher. It was enough to get the job done, but you wanted him, and you know he felt the same.

So, yeah, you’d be lying to yourself if that idea hadn’t crossed your mind. Getting him in his element, force him to come after you, and when you finally gave in or rather, when he found you, he’d be so caught up in the moment that all the sexual tension that had been building up for the last three months would climax at this very moment. What you couldn’t have anticipated was Mando figuring all of this out and actually calling you out on it.

Slacking your jaw, you lick your bottom lip, staring at the ‘T’ of his visor, realizing that this whole bet was just a façade—that the real reason you started this whole wager was to rile him up.

Mando body shifts, his fingers flexing at his sides.

“Been wanting it for three months, Mando,” you challenge.

He makes a guttural noise in his throat, and now you know you’ve got him. It’s taken three months to get you where you are now. Three months of walking around the Crest, swaying your hips purposely in hopes he’d look at you as you walked by. Three months of not so innocent touches on whatever part of him you could touch. Three months of soft moans and groans, trying to get his attention.

All your hard work is finally going to pay off.

Mando tries to close the gap between you, taking a step towards you. Being the brat you are, you step back.

“You’re really going to make this difficult?” He asks—very much a rhetorical question.

“Come get me, Mando,” the words slip off your tongue, once again trying to entice him.

A game of chicken.

Who’s going to make the first move? Is Mando going to charge for you? Do you let him? Do you turn and try to run away?

In a flash, Mando leaps forward and you’re just quick enough to dodge him, whipping your body towards the forest’s edge and taking large strides forward. You barely make it three feet before there’s more grappling line squeezing your ankles together. Once again, you land on your stomach with just barely enough time to cover your face with your hands.

Now, you know there’s no way you’d be able to get up in time and still somehow slip through his fingers, not that it was ever the point of this bet. You thoroughly enjoyed the thrill of being on the run and having Mando chasing after you but you’re way more interested in what’ll happen next than actually winning.

It’s takes a few seconds for you to get your bearings, and as soon as you begin to push yourself upright, you’re being shoved back into the ground by Mando using his bodyweight against you. He straddles either side of your legs, pushing them together.

“If this is what you wanted, all you had to do was ask,” Mando’s voice suddenly whispers in your ear, pressing himself into your body. He bucks his hips against your ass, his erection nuzzled between your cheeks. Propping himself on his elbows so he doesn’t suffocate you with his weight, one of his hands grab hold of your waist, digging into your flesh.

Trying to arch your back, you push your ass out to grind against his cock even more. Maker, you want him so fucking badly. Being fucked in an open field where anyone could see you, it’s daring and intoxicating.

Your hands fumble to your pants, trying to unbutton them and slide them down your thighs. Mando senses your urgency and swats your hands away and then his body leaves you momentarily, just long enough for him to tug your trousers down to your knees. It’s rushed, and you’re already panting underneath him, the anticipation eating you up from the inside.

A leather gloved hand grazes your lips, then he’s pushing two fingers in your mouth. The tastes of earth and salt lingering on your tongue.

“Bite,” he instructs.

You oblige and the glove comes off, discarded just inches away from your face. Without skipping a beat, his naked hand travels down your side, and with your ass in the air, he palms your stomach, keeping you in place and forcing you to arch your back even more. The pool of arousal in your stomach is making you squirm, getting more impatient as the seconds go by.

Mando takes his time trailing your lower belly, fingers barely grazing your skin. Your breathing is completely erratic, panting heavily into the ground. When he finally cups your sex, your breath hitches, a sharp inhale escapes your lips.

“Stars, you’re fucking soaked already,” he admires, and then two calloused fingertips are rubbing tight circles on your clit.

Writhing underneath him, you can barely keep still. The pleasure is overwhelming, something you’ve been waiting for for so long, you can’t believe this is really happening

Your hands grab at his waist with haste, trying to remove his pants but because you can’t see what you’re doing, you’re just aimlessly grabbing at him. He sees you struggling and lifts himself off of you. Hearing a small scuffle, he presses his body into your back again, and you feel his freed cock between your cheeks. Maker, he’s huge… is it possible for someone to feel this big when he hasn’t even stuck it in you yet?

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks breathlessly, his own pants scratching low in his helmet.

“Y-y-yes, please,” you croak, your throat already bone dry.

Gathering as much of your slick on his hand as he can, you feel him smear it all over his length and with your ass still shoved up against him, he teases your entrance with his tip. Hands grabbing at his hips with urgency, he actually fucking chuckles and then starts burying himself inside you.

Stars, he’s fucking huge, it almost burns how much he’s stretching your walls. Your eyes wrench shut so hard; you’re seeing stars. It feels like all the air is being knocked out of your lungs, you can’t even make a sound as your jaw fucking drops. He buries himself deeper and deeper—kriff you’re not sure how much more you can take. Your body freezes once he’s fully inside you, teasing your cervix with his head.

“F-f-fuck, you’re tight,” he breathes out once he’s filled you to the hilt. Steadying himself on his palms, his cuirass leaves your back, but he doesn’t move. He just sits there, giving you time to acclimate to his size. “I’ll try to be gentle—”

“No,” you say, cutting him off. “Please, j-just, fuck—do what you want,” you’re basically sobbing already, and he hasn’t even begun to fuck you.

He slowly pulls out and when you feel just the head still inside you, he slams into you so hard, you jerk forwards and cry out, your whole body stilling from being so full.

“You have to be quiet, someone might hear,” he tells you gently, pulling out again ever so slowly.

In an effort to stifle your moans, you bite down hard on your bottom lip, and when he bucks his hips and crashes into you again, you’re unable to stop the shriek that escapes you. Balancing himself on one arm, he grabs the discarded glove by your face and stuffs it into your mouth, gagging you with it and then begins really fucking you.

He drives his cock into you at a grueling speed, stopping his rhythm momentarily to roll his hips against your ass, making sure you feel every fucking inch of him. Whatever pathetic noise tries to slip through your lips is muffled by leather and you’re grateful for it because your cries would echo through the field if not for the glove.

Mando drops his weight back on you, feeling his breastplate dig into your back. He lets his cock just sit there as his naked hand wraps around your neck, applying pressure with two fingers. He resumes his pace, jackhammering your pussy with so much force, his balls slapping against your skin echo through the clearing.

“Shit, this—this is what you wa-anted?” He hisses, never once relenting his rhythm.

You couldn’t have planned for how mind-blowing this is. The daydreams, the dreams while you slept, nothing could have prepared you for the real thing. Nothing in your imagination even comes close to the actual feeling of Mando fucking you senseless in the middle of an open area. You’re so close to your climax already, something no other person has even gotten close to doing. Mando knows how to fuck, how to reach the right spots inside you, how to drive you fucking insane.

“Yes, ah-shit, yes Mando, please, please, it feels so good,” you babble, your mind unable to come up with a coherent thought; instead, you’re reduced to a blubbering mess. Tears are forming in the corners of your eyes, and when you squeeze your eyes shut, they begin streaming down your face.

“Be a good girl and come all over my cock,” he grits out between thrusts.

The grass is tickling your face, he pushes you deeper in the ground with every plunge, and then your orgasm rips through you, waves of white-hot pleasure crashing over you, electrifying your body from the inside out. Clawing at the ground and grabbing fistfuls of dirt, your body tenses and untenses at the same time, you can barely breathe. His hand is still pressing into your neck, making you dizzy from the limited air you can actually take in, as well as your climax punching out of you.

“Yes, fuck—ah shit—stars, you feel so fucking good.”

Mando doesn’t like to talk very much, only speaking when directly addressed, but now he’s a mess. He praises you, repeating words of admiration like it’s a prayer he tells himself at night and knowing you’re the reason for all this chatter just fills you up with pride.

He has incredible stamina, so he doesn’t need to pause in order to catch his breath very often. Mando continues to drill into you with such speed and force, you don’t know how much more you can take. It’s so much better than you thought it could be, you never could have predicted Mando to be so good at fucking you. He knows exactly how to treat your body, how to get the most pleasure out of you, it’s like he already knows you better than you know yourself. His cock rams that spot deep inside you that’s never been touched, nearly blinding you and causing your mind to go blank. You curse the Maker for making you wait this long. Both of you needed this, to take your frustrations and desires out on each other.

It’s primal, the way he thrusts inside you, feeling his cock pulse and twitch as your walls squeeze around him. Mando can barely shut up, if he’s not growling admirations in your ear, he’s keening into the helmet, his baritone hitting so low and rough, it only spurs you on.

The hand on your neck slacks, and then he’s pulling the glove out of your mouth. “Where d-do I—”

“Inside,” you manage to mewl, although your voice is barely above a whisper. “Please.”

“Ah—shit, you want me inside you? Fill your pretty little cunt with my come?”

You make a pathetic noise in your throat, the dryness of it too much for you to actually speak.

“Words, pretty girl. I need you to use your—fuck—words.”

You swallow hard, trying to get some dampness in your throat. “Y-yes.”

Mando growls contently and resumes his ruthless, hard pace. It’s no longer rushed, but with every thrust, he slams into your pussy so hard and hitting your cervix that your body jerks upwards, struggling to keep still. He grinds his hips a couple more times and then he reaches his own climax. You feel his cock throb inside you, filling you up with his seed.

“Fuck!” He snarls into the helmet, keeping it pressed against the side of your head.

You’re completely spent, you can barely move a muscle. Mando’s just fucked the life out of you, and you could lie here for the rest of your life, happy and satisfied. When you feel him start to pull out, with the little strength you gave—which is by no means a lot, you clench your walls around him, trying to keep him inside you.

“Don’t want me to leave?” He jokes.

“Want you inside all the time,” you mumble into the ground.

Mando hums, sheathing himself inside you once again.

“Pretty girl, I’m just getting started with you.”

[hqbbg]

no regrets.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader (ft. oikawa)

prompt:  "I wonder what he’d do if he knew you were with me right now."

genre: smut with a sprinkle of angst

word count: 7.3K (i’m so sorry, this came out way longer than i intended)

warnings: 18+, slowburn like wow look at that word count, mentions of alcohol, some cheating, fingering, oral (f.receiving), unprotected s3x, aftercare

author’s note: here’s my monthly contribution to the Haikyuu!! Headquarters server collab! here’s the masterlist, so be sure to check everyone else’s works out too! hope you guys enjoy :)

The sunlight seeping in through your bedroom window feels warm on your face as you stir awake. Stretching your arms above your head, you sigh in contentment, satisfied with the quality of sleep you had. You roll over to check your phone, frowning as it fails to turn on, realizing that you’d forgotten to charge it after a call with your boyfriend who’s currently halfway across the world.

Suddenly, a thought strikes you and you scramble out of bed to check the wall clock you have hanging in your apartment’s living room. A loud gasp followed by a curse leaves your lips as you rush to the bathroom to get ready for work.

You’re running late. Again.

Dread spreads through your senses as you quickly go through your morning routine, thinking of all the possible excuses you can offer your boss that won’t result in the loss of your job. As you finish up in the bathroom, you practically run to your room and carelessly throw on a relatively clean white shirt and a pair of pants before rushing out the door. Despite your hectic morning, you’re out the door in record time, locking it behind you. You have half a thought to give yourself a pat on the back. Unfortunately, you just don’t have the time for that right now.

By the time you arrive at work, you’re breathless and visibly frazzled, only slightly annoyed when your coworkers give you suspicious and questioning looks. As you’d expected, your boss hardly greets you before demanding a reason as to why you’re late. You can already tell that today’s going to be a long day, the fact amplified when you realize you’d left your phone charger at home.

When you finally clock out after a particularly long shift, hardly sparing your coworkers a proper goodbye on your way out, you feel momentary relief knowing that you’ve gotten that out of the way. As you step outside, another groan leaves your lips as you look up at the thick and dark clouds overhead. With your phone being dead in combination with being late, you had no idea that rain was in the forecast for today. There were hardly any clouds this morning on your way to work, too! Well, maybe there were, you were just too preoccupied to notice.

You silently plead that the journey home is a dry one, but you should know better than to have hope on a bad day like this.

When you feel the first of many heavy raindrops, you curse under your breath and briefly scan the area to find some shelter, eyes landing on a nearby café. You walk as quickly as you can, avoiding others who either came prepared with their umbrellas or those who, much like you, are rushing to find a place to stay dry.

Pushing the door open, you’re finally able to catch your breath. However, the relief is short lived when someone else opens the door from behind you to get inside, shoving you into another person who was on their way out.

Just as you begin to think the day can’t get any worse, the world clearly has other ideas. You feel it before you see it: the cup of iced coffee spilling onto your shirt and practically freezing your skin as you let out a yelp.

“Oh, shit, are you okay?”

Your head whips up at the oddly familiar voice and you’re surprised to see Iwaizumi Hajime standing before you, looking around frantically to search for napkins to clean you up. If it weren’t for the icy and numbing sensation on your chest, you would’ve been happy to see him.

He takes a couple long strides to the nearest condiment bar and swipes a handful of napkins before rushing back to you. He still hasn’t realized that it’s you standing before him: his best friend’s girlfriend whom he hasn’t seen or spoken to in years.

Wordlessly taking the napkins from him, you peel the shirt away from you while pressing them into the fabric. Though your chin is tucked so you can look at your shirt, you can feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on you.

“Wait, Y/N?”

You lift your head and greet him with an awkward smile.

“Hey,” you lamely respond as you finally give up on your shirt. Your next best option is to get home quickly and throw it into the washer while you take a nice, long shower. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. The only issue now is finding a way home that doesn’t involve getting drenched by the storm raging outside.

“Wow, it’s been awhile,” says Iwaizumi as he lifts his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “It’s good to see you, but sorry about your shirt.”

“It’s fine, my day’s been pretty bad to begin with,” you sigh. You immediately realize the implications of your statement and feel your eyes widen as you scramble to recover. “I mean, not to say you’ve ruined my day or anything! I just—it’s just been one of those days.”

Iwaizumi offers an apologetic and understanding smile. “I get it, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“Thanks,” you reply gratefully. “I didn’t know you came back from the States.”

“Yeah, I graduated and came back for good a couple months ago,” he says casually. His eyes flicker for a brief moment to the stain on your chest and he quickly shifts his gaze elsewhere, clearing his throat. “Do you, uh, have a jacket or a change of clothes?”

“No, I was running late this morning and my phone’s been dead, so I didn’t get a chance to check the weather or anything,” you reply with a frown. “I’m clearly living my best life right now.”

You half meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but the frown settling on your former classmate’s face tells you that it was not received that way.

“It doesn’t look like the storm is gonna let up anytime soon,” says Iwaizumi, sensing your concern as you turn your head ever so slightly to check the weather outside. “Do you live far?”

You shake your head, turning back to face him. “No, I’m just a couple more blocks away.”

“If you want, I can walk you home,” he generously offers. “My umbrella isn't that big, but it would get the job done.”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” You’re quick to shake your head, waving your hands out in front of you. “My shirt’s already done for and I can just make a run for it, so it’ll be faster.”

Iwaizumi seems to hesitate, giving you a quick once-over with his eyes. “Okay, well, the least I can do then is offer you my jacket. I did spill my coffee all over you, after all.”

You open your mouth to refuse his kindness, but he’s already shrugging out of the outerwear and holding it up in front of you.

“Take it,” he insists as he locks eyes with you. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

You hesitate for a moment and glance down at your shirt to see if you really need it. Your eyes widen slightly when you’re able to see your bra through the damp fabric and the way it sticks to your skin, particularly the valley of your cleavage.

Muttering your gratitude, you’re quick to take it and put it on, feeling dwarfed instantly. You close the jacket and glance out the window again to see what you’re working with before looking back at him.

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll be going now,” you say, getting ready to turn and leave. “Oh, wait.”

You turn back around and Iwaizumi raises a brow.

“How do I get your jacket back to you?”

“Oh, right.” The thought seems to have slipped from Iwaizumi’s mind too. “Uh, here, give me your number. We can find another time and place for you to give it back to me.”

Iwaizumi shuffles and grabs his phone from his pocket, giving it a couple taps before holding it out to you. You thank him and quickly input your contact information, sending a quick text to yourself before handing the device back to him.

“Thanks, Hajime,” you say with a grateful smile. The look on his face is one of surprise and you realize it’s the first time you’ve called him by name today. Actually, since the last time you saw him back in high school. “This time, I’m going for real.”

Iwaizumi recovers quickly enough to give you a nod and a small wave. “Good luck out there.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna need it,” you say, sighing warily as you turn towards the door again. This time, you don’t look back, preparing yourself for the stormy commute that awaits you.

“Sounds like you had a rough day.”

“It was awful, Tooru,” you whine as you pad through your kitchen, trying to figure out what you want to eat for dinner with your phone propped up on one of the kitchen counters. You’re on a video call with Oikawa in your oversized t-shirt and hair wrapped up in a towel, having come freshly out of the shower before this. “Oh! But something interesting did happen earlier.”

You hear your boyfriend hum curiously, urging you to continue.

“I saw Hajime,” you say, inspecting some vegetables in your fridge that have been in there for a suspicious amount of time.

“Oh?” Oikawa sounds as equally surprised as you were earlier. “Wow, how long has it been since you saw him?”

“I haven’t seen him since high school,” you reply as you put the vegetables on the counter next to your phone, seeing Oikawa still laying in bed. “He let me borrow his jacket on my way home to avoid getting my shirt any wetter.”

“Oh, that’s nice of him,” Oikawa responds with less enthusiasm than you’d expected. You thought he’d be more excited to hear that his girlfriend and best friend interacted, but there’s something in his voice that doesn’t necessarily sound right. “He always had a soft spot for you back then, too.”

“Really?” You raise a brow as you return to your fridge. “How so?”

“Well, that’s irrelevant now,” Oikawa says, nonchalantly brushing off the subject. You don’t question things further, more concerned about what to eat for dinner.

You stay on call together for a little longer before Oikawa has to leave for practice, and eventually, you’re left alone in the comforts of your apartment. You still have yet to settle on dinner and migrate to your couch to see if anything looks appetizing on your local food delivery app.

As you mindlessly scroll, you hear your washing machine go off to alert you that your laundry is done. Setting your phone down on your coffee table, you stand and go to transfer the clean clothes into the dryer. As you pull out Iwaizumi’s jacket, you’re reminded that you need to return it soon; there’s no point in keeping it here for too long.

Walking back over to your couch, you plop back down and pick up your phone. This time, you navigate through it to locate Iwaizumi’s name and type up a quick text to ask him for his availability in the next couple of days. He doesn’t respond for several minutes and you return to your relentless search to find something to eat.

Deciding on one of the local fast food restaurants, you place your order and sprawl yourself out over your couch. With roughly twenty minutes before the food arrives, you try to busy yourself on your phone before dejectedly placing it down beside you.

Your phone buzzes with a notification and you lift the screen to see a banner with Iwaizumi’s name on it. Reading over his reply, you find that he’s available on your day off in the next few days. You type up a response to ask him if he’s willing to meet up so you can return his jacket, and this time, he responds quickly with a simple agreement.

After texting him a time and place, you set your phone back down beside you. It’s been so long since you last saw him, it feels strange. You can’t help but think back to your time in high school and the memories you had with him.

Back then, you weren’t the biggest fan of volleyball like the rest of your friends were, so you never really went to the games unless they dragged you along. You recognized some of the boys from your class, though you could hardly remember their names; they were never the ones your friends talked about—they weren’t Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime.

You actually met Iwaizumi before you’d met Oikawa, but that was because you’d bumped into him on your way to the bathroom during one of the games your friends had taken you to. Sure, he didn’t introduce himself or anything, simply muttering an apology before storming off somewhere, but it was still your first memorable interaction with him.

It was one of your friends that got you acquainted with Oikawa sometime later, and after the two of you officially started dating towards the end of your second year, you started seeing Iwaizumi more often. He was slightly intimidating at first, but after some time, you’d come to learn that he was a big softie on the inside—he just didn’t like to show that to other people.

Most of your friends were jealous that you were the lucky girl who somehow caught the popular captain’s eye, so when the two of you had gone on a break in the middle of your third year, no one was really around for you. Except Iwaizumi.

It was neither of your first choices to have him listen to you cry over the phone about Oikawa on a Friday night, but that’s where you’d both ended up. He was terrible at giving advice, but he was a good listener at the very least.

Ever since then, you were more comfortable with him and he seemed to feel the same way. When you got back together with Oikawa, he was less than thrilled to hear the news, but respected your relationship nonetheless. He stopped responding to your texts as much, stopped answering your calls, and by the time you graduated, he barely spoke to you when Oikawa wasn’t around.

To say that it didn’t upset you was a lie; you considered him to be a friend, after all. So, when you had to hear from Oikawa that Iwaizumi left for America for school instead of hearing it from him directly, you were a little hurt. Oikawa had assured you to not take it so personally, telling you “that’s just how he is”. Since then, you’ve moved on with your life and now you’re here.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your phone buzzes and you look to see that your food’s arrived. As you bring it inside, you settle back down on your couch and find something to watch before indulging in your meal. Finally, the day is over.

Thankfully, the rest of your week isn’t too bad. Your day off finally rolls around and you’re waiting patiently inside the café you’d bumped into Iwaizumi at, nursing a cup of hot coffee in your hands. You’d arrived several minutes early, so you’re surprised to see him walking in five minutes before your agreed upon time.

Calling out his name, you raise your arm to wave him over to the table you’re sitting at.

“Hey, you’re here early,” he says as he sits himself down across from you.

“So are you,” you remark, taking a slow sip from your cup.

“Ah, yeah, I was hoping to get some coffee before we met up,” he says, glancing towards the front counter.

“Sure, don’t let me stop you,” you say with a small smile on your face. He nods and excuses himself, leaving you alone at your table.

Your eyes follow his figure, trailing along the broad expanse of his shoulders and back, admiring the way it all tapers at his waist. He’s filled out a lot since high school, and you can tell he’s worked hard to get to where he is now.

When he comes back with his iced coffee in hand, he sits back down in his seat across from you.

“Here’s your jacket,” you say, lifting the paper bag you packed the borrowed clothing in. “Thanks for letting me use it.”

“No problem.” He takes it and there’s a moment of awkward silence.

You can feel his slight discomfort as he shifts a little in his seat, so you decide to break some of the ice. “So, how’ve you been?”

As the conversation progresses, you can feel him slowly opening up and getting more comfortable with you. You come to learn that he’s still in contact with Oikawa, which spurs a shared trip down memory lane.

By the time you start to wrap up your time together, you realize that it’s getting dark outside and check the time. Where had the time gone?

“Wow, we’ve been here awhile.”

Iwaizumi flicks his wrist to check the time and nods. “Yeah, we have. Do you wanna grab dinner?”

You hesitate for a moment. Typically, you call Oikawa around this time, but you figure it doesn’t hurt to not call today. He would understand, right? He knows that you were upset when Iwaizumi practically ghosted you, so he’d understand that you’d want to make up for some lost time, right? Iwaizumi’s his best friend, after all; what would be the harm in hanging out with him for just a little longer?

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

The two of you settle on a restaurant nearby where you proceed to spend a couple more hours just talking and enjoying each other’s company. You want to ask him why he stopped talking to you in the first place, but you figure that maybe tonight isn’t the best time nor is this the place.

Iwaizumi ends up walking you home, claiming it’s not safe for a girl to be out alone at this hour and that he’d be doing a disservice to you and Oikawa if he let you go off on your own.

“You know, I actually had a lot of fun today,” you say as the both of you stand in front of your door.

“Surprisingly, I did too,” he says with a playful smirk on his lips. He seems much more relaxed than he was several hours ago and part of you is excited to think that things might go back to how they used to be in high school with him.

“Let’s keep in touch more,” you suggest. “It’ll be like high school all over again.”

His lips falter a little, a detail you miss as you turn to unlock your door.

“Anyways, thanks for walking me home,” you say with a smile. “Have a good rest of your night.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later,” he replies with a nod before turning on his heels to leave. You also step into your apartment and lock the door behind you. Today’s been a good day.

Over the next several weeks, you end up seeing Iwaizumi more often. Whether it’s for a quick coffee or even running errands on your day off, he’s been there to keep you company. When you had told Oikawa about it at first, he was less than thrilled to hear the news, but you figured it was simply because he felt left out.

When you told him that Iwaizumi had come over once to help you carry groceries, he had gotten upset and it led to a small argument that led to the two of you refusing to speak to each other for three days. You didn’t see the harm in spending this much time with Iwaizumi—did Oikawa not trust either of you?

Needless to say, when you started talking again, you felt some tension and decided not to bring up Iwaizumi as much anymore. Part of you felt bad for not giving your boyfriend the whole truth, but he didn’t seem to trust you and you didn’t want to deal with another argument and the possibility that your long-term relationship would end over your friendship with another man.

You decided to keep this from Iwaizumi; you didn’t want him to feel bad in case he blamed himself if something were to go wrong with your relationship. Well, not that you’d think anything would go wrong. You’ve gotten this far in your relationship with Oikawa, and sure, there have been a couple bumps in the road along the way, but you’ve both made it work.

“Oi.” Iwaizumi’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you turn your head to look at him. You’re currently sitting on his couch in his apartment, having agreed to come over to watch movies.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted something to drink,” he replies from his kitchen. The fridge door is propped open and you think it over for a moment.

“I’ll take anything,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. He returns with two beers in his hands, handing one to you before sitting himself down beside you on the couch.

“What are we watching?”

“I found this movie with one star,” you say as you pull it up on his tv. “It’s going to be terrible.”

“I’m gonna need more drinks for this.” You laugh lightheartedly as the movie begins playing.

The both of you don’t even make it halfway through before searching for another bad movie to make fun of. As Iwaizumi searches on his phone, he gets an alert that the food you two had ordered has arrived and you get up to grab it. When you return, you place the food on the table in front of you and plop down beside him.

You feel your leg brushing his and realize you’ve miscalculated your spacing, but he makes no effort to move away from you. Taking out the food, you hand him his meal and grab your own, settling back comfortably as he sets up another movie.

As the movie drones on and on, the two of you finish your dinners, engaging in your own conversation. You see his eyes on your mouth as you speak and suddenly feel a little self-conscious. Do you have something in your teeth?

“You have a little,” he lifts his finger to point at his own mouth, “something there.”

You wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand, but apparently miss as Iwaizumi tells you the food is still there. You wipe at it again, but it seems to be stubborn and Iwaizumi eventually gets frustrated. He lifts his hand to your face and gently brushes the culprit away with his thumb, allowing his digit to trace your bottom lip for a moment.

He seems just as stunned as you are at the soft and intimate gesture, quickly pulling away and turning back to the movie, clearing his throat. You also slowly turn, keeping your eyes fixed on the screen in front of you.

The air feels awkward and heavy and the silence between the two of you is deafening, if not for the movie blabbering on its own. You watch from the side of your eye as Iwaizumi takes a long sip from his beer, knocking the whole thing back until there’s not a drop left. He sets it down and clears his throat.

“Uh, do you want to watch something else?” He doesn’t meet your eyes.

“This is fine,” you reply. “It’s not as bad as the first one, at least.”

You watch the corner of his lip quirk upwards a little. “Yeah, that one was pretty bad.”

The tension in the room seems to ease up a little and he leaves to grab a couple more drinks, taking the trash left from your dinner with him. When he comes back, he sets the bottles down on the table and sits down right where he was, though this time it feels more intentional with his placement by your side.

The movie, although terrible from the start, seems to get increasingly more boring, so you turn to him to start another conversation.

“I have a question,” you say, fidgeting your fingers in your lap. Iwaizumi turns to look at you with a raised brow, wordlessly urging you to continue. “So, you remember back in high school how we were friends and then we weren’t?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Iwaizumi says, nodding slowly. He seems to know where this is going.

“Why did that happen?”

You can practically see Iwaizumi’s thoughts being processed in real time as he weighs the different options he has depending on his response. He opens his mouth to say something, only to close it again.

“Fuck it,” he mutters under his breath before inhaling deeply. “I liked you. A lot.”

The way his eyes lock with yours nearly sends a shiver down your spine, but you chalk it up to the alcohol pulsing through your veins.

“I wanted to ask you out, thought that you might be into me too, but then I heard you got back with Oikawa, so I backed off,” he says. “I know it was a dick move on my end without telling you why, but I figured it was better that way.”

“Did Oikawa know about this?” You have a lot of questions you want to ask, but somehow, this is the one that slips through first.

“Of course he did; he’s my best friend.” Iwaizumi seems a little agitated as he fidgets in his seat.

You try to think of a way to respond. That would explain Oikawa’s attitude towards your renewed friendship with his best friend, though part of you feels conflicted. Could you have possibly harbored feelings for him in return back then? Maybe, but what does it matter now? You’re in a relationship with Oikawa, you shouldn’t even entertain the thought of what if…

“It doesn’t matter now,” says Iwaizumi, pulling you out of your thoughts. “That was the past.”

“If I hadn’t gotten back together with Oikawa, what would you have done?” Your voice is quiet and you know you’re treading dangerous waters right now. The alcohol is definitely not helping with your sense of judgment either.

“I probably would’ve asked you out,” he replies plainly as he shifts his attention to the fabric of his sweats. “If the feelings weren’t returned, well, I don’t see much being different from what ended up happening.”

“What if I said yes?”

Iwaizumi lifts his head and turns to look at you again. You know you should stop now, but now you want to know. To be honest, it’s not like you haven’t thought about dating him in the past; he’s a great guy, and honestly, anyone would be an idiot to turn him down without a really good excuse.

“Y/N, we shouldn’t,” he says slowly. You don’t even realize you’ve been leaning into him until your lips are nearly touching.

“I know,” is all you manage to say before your lips are pressing against his. You feel electrified and realize how touch-starved you’ve been all this time.

Iwaizumi tastes like beer and the musk of his cologne feels overwhelming to your senses. You can’t help but raise your hand to weave through his hair, hardly protesting as his tongue pushes into your mouth. You feel his hands rest on your waist and you slide onto his lap, unable to resist the small roll of your hips against his groin. He lets out a low groan and you can feel him twitch through his pants.

A million red flags and sirens are going off in your head, but you ignore them all, letting your hands slip down to rest on Iwaizumi’s broad and built chest. His own hands slide down the dip of your waist towards your hips and you feel him slowly guide them along the growing hardness between his legs.

Just as your hands begin to wander further, your phone begins to vibrate loudly on the table behind you. It’s as if a bucket of ice water is dumped on you and you pull away rather quickly. Iwaizumi’s hands drop from your side.

Your phone is still buzzing and you slide off of his lap to grab your phone, the weight of guilt beginning to settle in your stomach as Oikawa’s name and a picture of you two flash on the screen.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, standing abruptly, trying not to sway at the headrush.

Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything as you practically run out of there, quickly answering Oikawa’s call before it goes to voicemail. You don’t see the way he buries his face in his hands as he leans forward on his knees.

“Hey, Tooru,” you greet a little breathlessly.

“Hey—are you okay?” His voice is laced with concern and you can only imagine what you sound like right now.

“Yeah, I’m just out right now,” you say. You chew your bottom lip as you begin your walk home, still able to taste Iwaizumi. “Can I actually call you back?”

“Sure, but is everything alright? You sound a little stressed,” he says, voice laced with concern. You feel the tears springing in your eyes as you inhale a shaky breath.

“Yeah, I’ll call you back when I get home, okay?”

Oikawa hesitates, but you’re already hanging up on him. By the time you get back to your apartment, you feel lightheaded. What just happened?

You went a solid three days before breaking under the pressure you’ve placed on yourself. Oikawa was beyond livid and you had cried yourself to sleep that night, telling yourself that he deserved better. You know he does.

He doesn’t answer your call for the rest of the week and you consider simply sending him a long message to express how sorry you are. As you’re about to do so, you receive a text from one of your friends, followed by an apology. With a frown, you open it and see that it’s a link to a gossip website in Argentina. Not really caring for the words, you scowl as you scroll through and see paparazzi photos of Oikawa with a beautiful woman draped on his arm. There are several different photos of the two together in different outfits to imply that they’ve been taken on different days.

It feels like you’ve been punched in the gut when you connect the pieces.

Without even thinking, you simply text Oikawa that your relationship is done and grab your jacket and keys, practically running out the door. You feel blinded with hurt and anger as your legs carry you all the way to a familiar doorstep you haven’t been to in awhile.

The door opens on your third knock and Iwaizumi looks surprised to see you standing there.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Oikawa and I are done,” you say. Hearing yourself say it out loud seems to solidify it as reality and you resist the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Y/N, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here like this,” he says, sighing warily, before muttering under his breath, "I wonder what he’d do if he knew you were with me right now."

“Hajime,” you say, hands and voice trembling as you pull out your phone, holding it in front of him. He hesitantly takes it from you and you can see his eyes widen for a moment as he scrolls, slowly handing the phone back to you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I just need a distraction right now.” You look up at him with watery eyes before he lets out a sigh, stepping aside so you can come in. Closing the door behind you, he follows you into the living room.

“So, what do you want me to—”

His sentence is cut short when you turn, leaning up to kiss him. Your hands fist his shirt, and you can feel him hesitantly move his lips against yours. You know your way around his apartment enough to begin pulling him into the direction of his bedroom, careful with your steps so you don’t trip or fall.

“Y/N,” Iwaizumi says, pulling away slightly as the backs of your legs hit the edge of his bed. His voice is coarse and his half-lidded eyes are dark. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later.”

“I won’t regret this,” you say softly, looking up into his eyes. He can still see that you have tears in your eyes, but behind that is a sense of lust.

“If at any point you want to stop, tell me, okay?” Iwaizumi lifts a hand to brush your hair away from your face. Your grip on his shirt tightens as you nod.

“Thank you,” you say, before kissing him again. This time, he seems more willing to kiss you back, easing you down until you’re laying on your back on his bed. He hovers over you, kissing along your jaw to your neck. You let out a shaky sigh as his hands slowly stroke your sides. You can feel his hesitancy to touch you more, so you wrap your legs around his torso and grind against him.

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath as one of his hands slip under your shirt. You watch as he leans up slightly to drag your shirt up to your neck, exposing your bra. You sit up just a little so he can help get the fabric completely off, tossing it aside before kissing down your chest to your clothed breasts. His hand comes up to squeeze one and a whimper leaves your lips.

Seriously, when was the last time anyone has touched you like this?

Iwaizumi reaches under you to unhook your bra with seemingly practiced ease and you arch your back up to give him easier access. Peeling the garment off of yourself, this time you’re the one to discard it somewhere on his bedroom floor.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he says before capturing a nipple between his lips. You sigh softly as his tongue flicks the hardening bud, the other being pinched between his thumb and index finger.

He alternates between your breasts for a few more moments before kissing his way down your abdomen. He sets on his knees on the floor, peering up at you.

“Y/N, you sure you wanna do this?”

You nod quickly, suddenly very aware of the heat pooling between your legs.

“I need you to use your words.”

“Yes, please,” you respond.

“Good girl,” he says, lips quirking upwards into the slightest smirk before his fingers hook the waistband of your pants. He easily tugs them down with your panties and you gently kick them off your legs. “Holy fuck.”

The way he eyes your glistening cunt has you blushing and suddenly very aware of your surroundings. Before you can even tell him to stop staring, he leans forward to lick a hot stripe between your slit. A loud gasp echoes around the room as you feel your body instantly react, lifting you head to watch as he leans forward again to bury his face between your legs.

His arms reach under and around your legs, allowing his fingers to hold your lower lips open to reveal your most sensitive bundle of nerves. He gives it a hard suck after flicking it with his tongue and your hand shoots to fist his hair. He groans lowly, allowing the vibrations to further stimulate you.

He dips down a little lower so he can properly taste you, humming in satisfaction with how wet you are. He brings one hand back down and around before pushing a thick finger inside. You let out a loud gasp at the sudden intrusion, though you aren’t complaining. He slowly thrusts it in and out, keeping his eyes on your face to see what you do and don’t like. When he finds that one particular spot within you, he inserts another finger and does his best to hit it again. As your back arches and eyes roll to the back of your head, Iwaizumi can’t help but smirk a little, satisfied with himself.

“Fuck, H-Hajime, I’m gonna cum,” you whimper as he continues his relentless ministrations. Before you know it, your back is arching and toes curling as you finally hit your release.

He lets you ride out the rest of his orgasm on his tongue, relishing in the way your hips buck from the sensitivity. He pulls out his fingers, admiring the way they glisten before pulling away from you completely. You lock eyes with him as he licks his fingers clean and another whimper leaves your lips.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks as he moves to hover over you on the bed.

“More than okay,” you say, unable to resist the dopey smile on your face. Iwaizumi chuckles softly as he combs his dry fingers through your hair. As he does so, you realize that you’re completely naked while he’s fully clothed. With a frown, you sit up and look at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“You still have your clothes on,” you say, turning and climbing over him so you’re straddling his lap. He sits up with a small smile.

“We don’t have to go any further, Y/N,” he says, putting his hands on your hips.

“I want to,” you say as you grind your hips against him much like you had the first night you shared a kiss.

He can see how dark and clouded with lust your eyes are and the raging hard-on in his pants would never forgive him for turning you down.

“Okay,” he says simply. You flash a smile before tugging at the hem of his shirt. He easily pulls it over his head in one fluid motion and you can’t help but lick your lips as he gives you a full view of his toned chest and abdomen. “Like what you see?”

You can feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment, not missing the arrogant grin on Iwaizumi’s face. You don’t say anything as you loosen the drawstring of his sweats and he helps pull them down. His cock practically springs out and slaps against his hard stomach and you all but drool at the sight. The angry tip is leaking with precum and you want to get a taste, but Iwaizumi stops you by pressing his lips to yours to capture you in a hungry kiss. You kiss him back and let his tongue push through your lips and you can taste hints of yourself still lingering on his tongue.

“‘M wanna taste you,” you mutter against his lips.

“Next time, baby.” You want to say something back, but his sturdy hands are lifting you by your waist so you’re sitting up on your knees over his lap.

Before you can say anything else, he’s reaching for his weeping cock and positioning it between your legs. You can’t help but whimper softly as you take it upon yourself to lower your hips on him. He feels so big, so thick, and you feel so full despite him not being entirely sheathed within you.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he hisses as he keeps his gaze fixed where your bodies meet. Something about the way he’s disappearing inside of your warmth leaves him a little lightheaded.

“Mm, you’re so big,” you gasp as you finally seat yourself fully on top of him. Iwaizumi feels his chest and ego swell with pride as he looks back up at you. He admires the way your lips are parted, eyes glazed over with pleasure.

He doesn’t rush you as you adjust to the sheer size of him, kissing along your neck and shoulder until you’re ready to move. When you are, you slowly drag your hips up until he’s nearly out of you completely before you drop back down. A loud moan leaves both of your lips and you have to brace yourself on his shoulders as you repeat the process, eventually finding a steady rhythm to follow.

A string of curses mixed with praise leaves his lips as you bury your face into the crook of his neck and shoulder, letting his hands roam and squeeze your ass. As you roll your hips in circular motions, another loud moan leaves him before he holds you and flips you over so you’re on your back.

“Fuck, I almost came too early,” he practically growls, placing a kiss to the corner of your mouth before sitting up.

You let out a soft giggle until he grabs one of your legs, tossing it over his shoulder. This new angle has him hitting a different spot inside of you and you feel your walls clench around him as he drags himself back out only to thrust right back in.

“Shit,” he hisses as he feels you flutter around him. “You look so pretty like this, fucked out on my cock.”

His thrusts are deep and precise as one hand presses against your lower abdomen while the other holds your leg. He presses a kiss to your ankle as you practically chant his name, feeling close to another orgasm. He seems to notice this too, losing some of his rhythm as the hand on your abdomen moves lower to rub harsh circles against your clit.

Just like that, it feels like the tightly wound coil in your belly snaps and your back arches off the bed as you reach your climax. Iwaizumi’s not far behind, pulling out and roughly jerking his throbbing cock until thick white ropes of cum decorate your chest and stomach.

The room fills with sounds of both of you breathing heavily and Iwaizumi flops onto his back next to you.

“Wow,” he says breathlessly, turning his head to look at you.

“Wow,” you parrot back, unable to resist the smile pulling at your lips. He tiredly smiles back for a moment before his eyes flit towards the mess he’s made all over you.

“Sorry for the mess.”

“It’s fine,” you tiredly shake your head. With the roller coaster you’ve been on these past several days and the physical exertion, you feel the exhaustion finally hitting you.

Your eyelids feel heavy and you barely see Iwaizumi get up from the bed and disappear for a moment. The sound of clothes shuffling and the sink running tells you that he’s cleaning up and in a few more moments, you feel a warm and damp towel wiping your body. You hum softly at the pleasant feeling, still riding the tail end of your orgasm as you open your eyes to see him wiping you of your sweat and his cum.

“I don’t regret anything,” you say as you feel Iwaizumi pull away.

“We can talk more in the morning,” he says softly as he places a kiss to the top of your head. You sleepily watch him as he disappears again and hear him running a bath.

He returns shortly after and easily scoops you up in his strong arms. You cling to him and let him slowly lower you into the warm water. He gestures for you to scoot forward a little bit so that he can slide in behind you, filling up the small space even more.

As you lean back and let him press soft kisses along your neck, your phone lays discarded on the floor, buzzing with another call from your now ex-boyfriend. That’ll just have to go on the list of things to figure out in the morning.