#i haven't finished the other 2 yet tho

[cyrsed]

i think it's simply absurd how well/easily dead space fits into an annihilation (book) au lol... nicole could have been on the previous expedition with other ishimura crew members like mercer/temple/cross/kyne, and if it's from isaac's POV, then he's part of the next expedition along w the kellion crew. dead space is just annihilation for gamers. same location-specific plot (ishimura/area x), anthropomorphization of place/nature wrt necromorphs & absorption/assimilation into nature, unknown/unknowable life cycles, main char goes to fairyland plot structure, changing vs being changed, conspiracies, Compulsive Writing About The Monolith, unreliable narrators, fleshy goopy body horror,,, if only i could write fic lol

[coquettejohnny]

did anyone else read flowers for algernon.... i read it earlier this year for school and i just remembered about it and how much i loved it. i remember looking for a fandom but got almost nothing other than it being just another book in those "books that made me cry" videos </3

[the-halfling-prince]

My favorite little nyc gals, Rebecca and Claudie <3

[toastsnaffler]

sorry for googling "is shadow of the erdtree hard" do u still think im cool....

[gabriellessworldd]

Never get yo bitch back!

plug!connie x black fem reader 😛😛

wc- 1.7k!

☆ warnings ☆: mdni! mentions of weed nd alcohol, smut 18+, cheating (established relationship w eren), public-ish sex (bathroom unlocked door), pnv, oral (f receive), Connie and reader have wanted each other for a min, first time writing ever don't drag me y'all pls!! 😓 I kinda want to make this have multiple parts but idk yet. I'm very open to criticism nd I hope y'all enjoy!

"Y/nnnnn, cmon you can come outside for one night!" Your best friend Sasha whined through the screen. As much as you protested, deep down you really did want to go out. Especially because Eren wasn't at home, you really wanted to talk to him since y'all haven't been doing so well recently. Petty arguments, sleepless nights, ig posts, and to top it all off he hasn't been to your house in weeks, not giving y'all anytime to have a conversation.

You check the time and see it's 6:00pm that means you got at least 2-3 hours before you would have to leave. "Girl you right, send me the lo. What you wearin?" Sasha set her phone up to show you the outfit she picked out, "Girl that's cute asf!! Ima match you." Sasha helped you pick out an outfit (1 or 2) that resembled hers. "Okay Sash ima finish my hair nd makeup, lmk when yall otw there." "Bye N/n, i gotchu." Sasha hung up and you continued finishing your hair and makeup.

Once you were in your car you looked at the location, realizing that it was at Jean's house, meaning Connie would be there. There was something so attractive about Connie that you didn't know how to explain, he was just, mesmerizing. You knew you would never be able to approach him tho, him nd Eren had been friends forever, and that was a boundary you wouldn't cross. Nothing being crossfaded couldn't fix..

You pull in front of Jean's house and it's packed, you can hear the music from the street. You text Sasha that you pulled up and fix yourself in the car mirror. "We're waiting for you at the front N/n." You read Sasha's text and get out of your car. When you open the door Mikasa, Annie, Sasha, and some other girls greet you. You scan the crowd feeling a familiar stare, you turn to your right and see a crossfaded Connie Springer and his homeboys sitting on some sofas in the corner. Connie feels you stare back and smirks. 'This finna be interesting.' You think to yourself.

You make your way to the kitchen to take a couple shots, Sasha gets a blunt from Ony, and y'all head upstairs to light up. When the sesh is over you feel amazing, the music is blasting, you're having a great night, and you're a 10, what could be better? You and the girls head downstairs to go dance and enjoy your night. You and Sasha throw ass like there's no tomorrow and Mikasa is right there to catch it. You laugh and stand up straight when you feel the stare of those familiar hazel eyes. "Ima go grab another drink" you tell Sasha and she drukenly nods.

You walk up to the counter where all of the drinks are, "hey connie" you look at him, and smile. He leans in closer to you "wassup mami, you look good. shit, you smell good too." he smiles at you with all of his pearly white teeth and you notice his silver grillz.(#1, #2, #3) God he's so fine. The way his red eyes are hanging low, the smell of his cologne, and his pretty ass accent, triple homicide.

"Where yo man at tho? Thought he was gon come tonight." Connie's confused as to why Eren isn't at this party trailing you like a lost puppy, unless, y'all wasn't on speaking terms right now. He grinned at the thought "Oh um Ion really-" You stuttered out wondering why he would ruin a good conversation. "Nah you ain gotta answer mami, follow me." He held his hand out with a 'hm' and you quickly took it, needing to feel his touch. He lead you upstairs to the first bathroom he saw, he opened the door, "Tu vas primero hermosa" you go first beautiful. You smiled at the sentence and walked in front of him. His eyes naturally trailed down to the best view there was 'Damn.' was all he thought as he watched you walk and felt himself get harder in his sweats.

"So wassup?" You questioned him, almost like a challenge. You leaned your back against the counter and looked into his eyes. "To be honest ion wanna play no games ma, you know what I want." He leaned towards you, muscular and veiny arms on both sides of you, caging you in.

You could feel the tension grow as both of you realized just how badly you needed the other. "Can I?" Connie asks to kiss you 'and he's respectful omg add that to the list' you think, "Yes, you can." As soon as those three words came out of your mouth, Connie grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you to him, his other hand quickly found your ass and squeezed, while your hands slid their way into his scruffy buzzcut. The kiss was passionate but it also had a hint of hunger, longing almost, like both of you waited your whole lives for this. Both of your tongues fighting for dominance, and both of you wanted, no, craved more from each other. Connie's large hand found it's way to your throat and he squeezed softly earning a light moan from you, Connie pulled away, a string of saliva connecting you two.

"Ay dios mio mami" oh my god Connie whispered. Connie littered bites and hickeys down your neck and exposed cleavage, not caring who would see. He tapped on your thigh, a signal for you to stand so he could remove your pants. He then picked you up and set you back down on the counter, he kissed the insides of your thighs and left a trail of bites. He looked up at you for confirmation, and you nodded your head, he pulled your panties to the side. Connie was in a trance, the way your folds were so puffy, the way they were covered in wetness, connie almost came in his pants at the sight. "Fuck." was all he said before he began kissing and sucking on your lips. He spread them open with his middle and index finger, and could've sworn he saw heaven.

He plunged his fingers inside your wet hole, sucking on your clit while he pumped his fingers in you nice and slow. "Fuck con" you let out a soft moan, it was like music to his ears. He worked his fingers a little faster and curled them up grazing over your spot. "o-oh fuck connie mmhm, right there" He came up, bottom half of his face covered in your sweet juices "You taste so sweet, princesa" and with that he went back down and devoured you like you were his last meal. "a-ah mm con. That feels soo good" you whispered, feather light moans. You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening as he pushed his tongue in and out of your hole. "Cmon mami let me hear you." he felt you squeeze his tongue and pull his hair, that was enough to let him know. He pushed his fingers back in and started pumping at an insane speed.

"Go ahead ma, let me taste all of you" Your thighs tightened around his head as you felt your high coming. "ah connie 'm gonna cum, fuck!" you moaned out louder than before, he curled his fingers again, making you throw your head back and squeeze your eyes closed. "Joder, eres tan deliciosa." damn, you're so delicious.

Connie stood up and your hands immediately found the band of his sweats and boxers, in one tug you pulled them both down. "Eager much huh mami? Well I expect you to take it all then." Your eyes widened at the statement but your thoughts were cut short when you heard him speak again. "Turn around for me mami, and don't take your eyes off the mirror." The dominance in his voice made you even wetter. You turned around towards the mirror and he slid off your panties.

He smeared his tip on your folds, collecting your wetness. Without warning he pushed his full length in, starting off with slow strokes. "Fuck mami, you're squeezing me so tight" You arched your back a little more and relaxed. He starts moving quicker and palms the fat of your ass.

Connie props one of your legs on the counter and smacks your ass. "f-fuck connie oh!" hearing you get louder, not caring if anyone could hear you, only riled him up more. He snaked his hand around your throat pulling your head up more so you could see what a mess he made of you. Your lip liner gone, mascara smeared on your damp bottom eyelashes, and a fucked out expression. Connie thought you looked perfect.

"Y-yes mami, take all t-this dick" you hear him stutter his calm demeanor fading away as he fucks into you at an unruly pace. "Ah! Con so good. i-it's so big" He smacks your ass again and continues fucking you.

He pulls out and you pout feeling empty "Calmate princesa." calm down princess He chuckles and flips you on your back then he pulls your hips closer to him. He pushes back into you, not wasting any time. Connie pushes your legs back a little more "Keep 'em right there ma." You hold the back of your knees with your hands, feeling connie's tip hit all the right places, Connie places a heavy hand on your lower stomach and he presses down. "a-ah con please! it feels soo good." You and Connie both feel yourselves about to cum.

"Con 'm about to cum! ah please Connie!" You can feel your thighs starting to shake, "g-go ahead mami, fuck you're so perfect. m-make a mess all over me." Connie rubs on your sensitive bud and keeps fucking you deep. You can feel a wave of pleasure wash over you and your vision turns white. "Ah! Connie fuck 'm cumming!" You yell, "f-fuck me too ma." You notice his voice falter and crack at the end, he sounds so angelic. He pulls out and hot, white, ropes coat your tummy.

Connie begins wiping off your stomach and he leans in to kiss you, but he sees something in the corner of his eye, almost like a, figure. "Shit" Connie says blankly, putting his pants back on. You scramble to put your clothes back on and turn to see Eren standing there looking pissed.

"what.. what the fuck is wrong with y'all?"

Whew chileeeee. y'all did I at least nibble or what 👀 but lmk if I should make this multiple parts, also give me title ideas!! lmk if y'all want to be tagged in the next parts! love u all nd I hope y'all had as much fun reading as I had writing this! (watch nb read ts #embarrasing 😰)

- with lots of love, gabrielle <3

[stxrvel]

hate is a strong word

summary: you hated Bucky and you were convinced that he hated you back. until one time he was talking to you and it started to sound... lovely? what was happening?

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 6k

warnings: some bad words, a lot of arguments, a HUGE flashback, a little bit of angst i think? bucky and reader insult each other, reader doesn't like to listen, bucky is easily angered, bucky likes to destroy things when he gets angry but regrets it easily, this is not exactly a healthy relationship(? descriptions of weapons, missiles and buildings being bombed, reader is also very stubborn and likes to put her life at risk… or so.

note: hi guys!! so i came back and i am kinda proud of this one. i think i haven't felt that way in a long time. i gave myself the time to write when i felt like it and it was wonderful, so this came out. also i put the poll for a whole week and i can't change it now >:(, but i think this onsehot fits the angst with a happy ending (im not sure if this fits the angst tho, you gotta tell me) but im gonna try to do something else that fits the vibe, and i'll probably do some other poll to write about someone else. (also i think i should warn you guys that i dont think im that good writing action scenes or tension scenes, so if that's bad i hope you forgive me): anyway, hope you guys like this one!! i love reading your comments so if you want and can, please leave some <33 love you all and see you next time!

part 2

Bucky was really pissing you off too much at that moment. Or maybe you were feeling a little uncomfortable.

He hadn't spoken a single word to you since you had arrived at that tiny house, only shrugged silently and then exploded. You had seen Bucky explode several times before and you admitted that watching him was somewhat entertaining; seeing the faces of frightened people, trying to flee away from his angry face and destructive hands, but physically forced to stand by and listen to his scolding. You used to have fun with that. However, at the time, when you were the extreme recipient of that anger, it wasn't so much fun.

You had already heard a couple of broken glass, shattered wood and metal containers fall to the ground. Maybe five minutes or so had passed and he was barely pausing to look at his artwork. It wasn't too much that he had taken and thrown while you had stayed in the room, but it had all sounded very loud, so you had no choice but to go out and see what he was doing.

You were leaning against the threshold of the hallway to the bedrooms, right across from the living room and kitchen. Bucky looked like he had just finished getting all his anger out when he finally stood silently. He probably thought you were asleep while he was doing all that, as if that sound couldn't wake you up. Was he really that angry about what you had done? You mean, yes, it was very risky, but there you were alive, weren't you?

You felt the best thing you could do was to stay quiet and wait for him to say or do something, because you could risk that angry outburst really coming down in your face. For that moment he had only taken it out on the house, which had nothing to do with your problems, and you didn't want the arguments to start filling the silence that followed his stillness.

But, well, you didn't always do the right thing. That's why you were in that situation in the first place.

“Are you done yet?” you signed your sentence.

Bucky had a tense posture, squared shoulders moving in rhythm with his accelerated breathing. His back was to you, staring at the kitchen counter that had been left completely empty. You knew by the way he was clasping his hands that he was trying to maintain his composure.

“Are you serious?” his voice came out hoarse, a sign of his growing anger.

Maybe you should have stopped there, or when he continued to not turn to look at you, but you just couldn't keep your mouth shut.

“What's your problem, Barnes? Yes, I took a chance, but it's not that big of a deal. It's not for this,” you pointed to the mess around you, even though he wasn't looking at you.

“It's not a big deal, you say?” Bucky moved and you felt yourself watching his angry figure move in slow motion. “What's your problem?”

His beady eyes met yours. You felt a little intimidated by the ripples of annoyance coming off his body, filling the entire room with an unbearable, suffocating tension. His scowl and that strangely calm tone of voice made your hair stand on end.

None of the pieces of glass or splintered wood on the floor looked as dangerous as that expression on Bucky's face. He looked very angry, yes, but there was also something in his eyes when he looked at you. Something like concern… but that was impossible.

“Really, Y/N, what's your problem? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Now, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“I was the mission leader!” his voice rose, his body moving forward as he pointed his index finger at himself. “And you were supposed to follow my orders.”

“I did, Barnes, I-”

“No,” he exclaimed, again moving closer. “You didn't do anything I asked you to do! Why can't you just…? Argh.”

You moved back a little as he planted his hands on the dining room table. You felt a little pressure in your chest at the sight of him like this, as if defeated and hopeless. Disappointed. But that was a common thing. That's why you used to have individual missions, and that's why you didn't really like working in a team. You mean, it wasn't wrong to do it, but everything always ended up in arguments because nobody liked the way you worked, so it was better to do it alone, right?

Seeing Bucky like that reminded you of how many times you had seen that look on the faces of Steve, Natasha, Tony, Clint, even Thor… It was never welcome nor were you comfortable with what was coming next, but it was the way you worked, how could you change out of nowhere something you had done your whole life?

Maybe you just had to apologize, sometimes that worked. Because you also knew that, knowing how bossy and caring Bucky was, you should have at least held back a little during the mission. Bucky's patience couldn't stand that sort of thing.

“Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I was a little careless, but that's how-”

“A little careless?” he interrupted you, his voice and face incredulous. "You almost got yourself killed."

“We're in this job under that risk, Barnes, that's not news.”

The man in the middle of the mess ran his hands over his face, elated, frustrated and surely overwhelmed. He let out a sound somewhere between a snort and a growl before turning back to look at you.

“Why can't you just listen?”

His accusing gaze enlarged a hole in your chest that you constantly tried to ignore, planting bitter feelings of sadness that you were usually very good at avoiding. But at that moment, for some reason, you couldn't stop your face from twitching at the strong, hurt tone of the man who looked at you as if he couldn't believe who you are and what you do. It seemed like Bucky was always in denial and today he realized that what everyone always told him was true.

That look, that dull gleam in his eye, that expression of understanding… All of that you were used to seeing, but coming from him it felt different. As if you hadn't really meant to cause those feelings, as if you wanted to turn back time to do things differently. The surprisingly incredulous and remorseful look was digging deep into your head, searing itself with hot iron to make sure to haunt you in the future.

At that moment you didn't care if Bucky realized how much his words affected you. Maybe you deserved to feel that way. Maybe he should have known that it affected you too much, that would surely do more than an apology.

“If only you had listened to me, we would have left sooner and without any trouble,” Bucky spoke again after what felt like hours of silence.

You couldn't take him back. It was true.

“Why did you…? Argh. Whatever. I'm going to report to Fury.”

His figure passed you like a blur. You barely felt his presence very superficially before all was silent again.

Your heart ached again. For some reason, it wouldn't stop hurting that it was still beating.

The day before.

“WHAT?” you exclaimed in disbelief and the director's tired look reappeared.

“It's already scheduled, Y/N, I can't undo it. So just go, try to cooperate together and come back in one piece,” Fury leaned back against the back of the chair, putting his feet up on the desk.

You looked at his shoes as if they were to blame for everything.

“It's funnier to think Bucky reacted the same way,” Tony spoke up, sitting in the chair next to yours, a mocking expression on his face.

“Shut up,” you smacked his arm before turning back to the director. “Sir, you know Barnes and I don't get along and knowing that, what makes you think we'll hit it off on a mission?”

Fury shrugged. “A hunch.”

“A hunch…?” you repeated in a low tone, twice as incredulous that the big SHIELD director had just said that.

“That's it, agent, you're dismissed.”

You left his office on your own, not because you had been dispatched. The walk to the housing complex took you longer than ever at that point.

You'd only had one mission with Bucky Barnes once a couple of years ago and it had been a disaster. Your group missions usually ended with a close call, but that time with Bucky it was like going to hell and back.

You two had never gotten along. Regardless of Fury's hundreds of attempts to get along, you had never managed to vibrate on the same frequency. It seemed more like you repelled each other every time you were together, and it was totally justified because Bucky was too bossy and wouldn't let you breathe for a single second. Every second of the mission had to be ruled by him because otherwise he was going to explode into a sea of rage and, God, no one wanted to piss Bucky off in that Complex. However, you were always the first to tell him that his tactics weren't working or that he was too slow and well, naturally, you ended up arguing.

You met Natasha and Steve halfway to the rooms and from the way they both looked at each other before the redhead approached you knew you must surely have a scrunched up face.

“Did something happen?” Natasha asked as soon as she reached your side and started walking at the same pace as you, slightly more hurried than usual.

“Fury assigned me a mission with Barnes,” you spat out the good news, impossibly frowning harder at the mention of that name.

“Oh,” Natasha nodded. “Well, you could try to work things out-”

“What things, Natasha?” you paused, turning to look at her as everything around you turned red. “There's nothing to fix here, because Barnes is a stubborn, obstinate, childish, bossy, stupid man who is incapable of speaking like a civilized adult and only knows how to shout orders everywhere as if he's the bossy one in the Complex. I can't stand him!”

“Wow.”

You heard his voice.

“I hope you know the feeling is reciprocated.”

You turned to see him, his body was leaning against the island at the entrance to the kitchen, in a strategic spot as if you could never realize he was there because your path was to the other side. Natasha watched between the two of you like a tennis match, fearful as if at any moment the screaming would start and she would have to run away.

You didn't know what to do. You were super angry, yes, and you felt your blood boiling inside your veins, too. And you'd said all that stuff to Bucky's face before, and God knows how many times before you'd argued just by seeing each other in the halls of the Complex. Despite that, you felt trapped. The anger was still there, yes, but his gaze pierced through you like a sword.

“Believe me, I don't want to go on this mission with a stubborn, obstinate, headstrong, ignorant, individualist like you either, who cares not for the safety of the team but for her own victory, no matter how she achieves it.”

With his eyes sharp, his heavy footsteps approached you, echoing in your head loudly like the second hand of a clock. He had stopped at a safe distance as he spoke and at one point Natasha had grabbed your arm when it seemed you had tried to approach him as well.

“You're a hypocrite,” you spat at him.

“Ha! Me?”

“You always play the saintly dove, but you know you're not much different from me.”

“I'm nothing like you,” Bucky wrinkled his face, as if the very thought caused him to shiver with disgust.

“You're an individualist, too, imposing your plans on others.”

“You never have a plan! What do you expect me to do, let you go and die?”

“I do have plans! But you don't like them because they are more effective than yours.”

“They're more effective at the cost of risking more of our lives.”

“That's what our job is all about!”

“Our job is about protecting! How are you going to accomplish a mission if you're dead?”

“Well, I've done pretty well so far, in case you haven't noticed.”

“If I had a nickel for every time you've gone airhead straight into danger and ended up nowhere near dead, I'd have as much money as Stark.”

“And if I had a nickel for every time your stupid, slow plans have caused you to lose sight of the target and made you come back empty-handed, I'd be twice as rich as Stark.”

“At least my kill rate is minus five.”

“And my hit rate is one hundred by the way.”

“Are you even listening to what you're saying?”

“That I always finish missions on the first try, unlike you?”

“That you're treating your life like it's something insignificant.”

“Ah, now you care about my life?”

Natasha tightened her hand around your forearm again preventing you from again getting too close to the man who was getting on your nerves. Before he could respond, you spoke again:

“Look, Barnes, to make it absolutely clear to you for the rest of your long life: I love my life and I love my job. I love my life because it allows me to have this job and I love my job because it allows me to have this life. If you have a problem with how I choose to do the job, that's just that, your problem. But don't think you're coming here to give me a psychology lesson to make me believe that I don't value my life just because now you've run out of arguments. It's because I value my life, Barnes, that I always come out of every mission unscathed. I don't put myself at risk because I'm oblivious. I always have everything figured out and that's why everything always works out for me.”

Bucky snorted, his body moving away from yours, but despite that expression on his face he didn't respond again. He gave you a sidelong glance before walking back into the kitchen.

Your shoulders felt a little lighter. For a moment you thought he was going to continue arguing.

Natasha next to you sighed, finally letting go of your forearm.

“Why did you hold me so tight?” you frowned at her, rubbing the part of your skin that was slightly red. “Did you really think I was going to fight a super soldier?”

Natasha shrugged under your gaze.

“We've known you to do crazy things.”

“I wouldn't have stood a chance of beating him even if he gave me the upper hand.”

Five hours earlier.

You hadn't seen Bucky for the rest of the day after that discussion, until the next day when you had to get on the Quinjet and didn't even glance at each other.

Steve was in charge of handling the airplane and, apparently, he was also in charge of briefing you on how you were going to proceed on the mission, because Bucky was too busy drilling holes with his gaze somewhere else on the Quinjet away from the two of you.

Neither spoke when you descended nor when you approached the base apparently in a state of abandonment.

Bucky's mission were flat and simple, but as usual he had no backup plan, because all his backup plans were the same: run away. Bucky had a chick's sense of survival, that's why when things went bad was the time when he would scream at you the loudest.

Just like it happened on that mission.

“This place is deadly quiet,” you spoke for the first time, barely earning a sidelong glance from the man next to you.

You had already finished thermo-sensor checking every floor of the building and it was indeed desolate. Still, you felt a strange uncomfortable chill run down your back.

“Well, that's what deserted means,” Bucky commented, his sarcasm sharp.

You rolled your eyes at him, even if he couldn't see you, and kept walking with your gun raised as you approached the checkpoint.

“I mean I can't even hear birds or crickets, doesn't that strike you as odd?”

“Well, we're on the fourth floor, wouldn't it make it stranger if you could hear them at this altitude?”

“Well, you can hear at this height. Tell me, do you hear anything down below?”

Bucky paused. They were a few steps away from reaching the room. His deadly stare caused you nothing but boredom and you would have ignored him completely except that he let out a sigh, dejected. You detailed him minutely as he seemed to focus his hearing on external sounds.

“There's nothing,” he spoke after a few seconds, his brow slightly furrowed.

“You see?”

“But that doesn't mean anything. We'd better finish this quickly.”

Ignoring the grimace on your face, Bucky moved to step into the room whose door was wide open. You stared offended at his back and felt the urge to smack his big head with the butt of your gun.

“Here it is,” you heard him exclaim from inside.

Sighing you made your way to where he stood. A large display of old computers anchored to the wall.

“You should do it yourself,” you looked at Bucky with a smirk. “I don't handle equipment this old.”

Bucky only snorted in response and moved with his gun to another side of the room, leaving you in complete silence to do your job.

You moved quietly and sat down in front of the machines. You plugged them into the power source you brought in your suitcase and in a few minutes they began to work.

The mission was simple. There was one of the old HYDRA bases that contained specific information that Fury needed to find. Up to that point, they had searched about seven abandoned bases without any success. So there you were with Bucky, at the eighth base they had identified, digging through old commands and in another language trying to find the information they needed.

Ever since they left the Complex that morning you were convinced you would find nothing. They had already raided several bases and there were still a few more to go. The probability that you would find that information at that time was…

Bingo.

“Got it,” you exclaimed to Bucky.

You heard his hurried footsteps and then felt the warmth of his body next to you.

“Is that it?”

“Just a folder.”

“And why does it load so slowly?”

“It's an old computer, Bucky, it works at its own pace.”

Bucky gave you a sidelong glance. “Wish you understood me like you understand that thing.”

“Aish,” you pouted by way of mockery. “Jealous, Barnes?”

The aforementioned just snorted.

The load was running at forty percent and truth be told, yes, it was too slow. But you could do nothing but wait, there was no way to speed it up.

Bucky paced back and forth behind you and you just watched the green lines move as if that helped at all. But, well, what else could you do?

At one point, as the charge was about to reach eighty percent, you heard interference on your communicators.

“Argh,” you shook your head and raised your hand to move the device a little away until the sound died down. “Steve?”

There was no response.

You turned to look at Bucky, who had the same quizzical expression.

The interference returned and then you heard Steve's voice distorted.

“… of… moment!”

“What the fuck is he saying?”

Bucky remained silent, tapping the device on his ear as if that would fix it.

But you saw it before you heard Steve's voice again.

A clump of people through the window. A freshly loaded cannon.

“Barnes…”

And at that moment, Steve's voice filled them with clarity.

“It's an ambush! Get out of there now!”

The quickness of the impact didn't let you process what was happening. Less than a second after hearing Steve the ground shook beneath your feet. The cracks in the floor started small and then swallowed you apart.

You held onto a beam, barely lucid enough. You propelled yourself upward, swinging your forearms over the patch of ground that was still intact. You heard Bucky's grunts in the distance. He was surely all right.

You heard him call out to you too, but as soon as you could sit down on the ground, the first thing you did was to reach for the pendrive.

Your heart was pounding, so hard it might as well have flown out on its own. Your breathing accelerated, with adrenaline rushing through your body was the only thing you could feel. At that moment you felt capable of anything.

You stood up quickly to look out the window again. The people were gone and the cannon had been destroyed.

It was at that moment that you realized that Steve was still talking on the communicator.

“I'm fine,” you replied, after being able to decipher his words amidst the constant buzzing from the sound of the explosion and the dizziness you felt at the sight of the hole next to you.

“Okay, you're both fine,” the Captain spoke again.

“Y/N, you can get down from there and get to the floor below. I'll catch you.”

At the sound of Bucky's voice, you moved away from the window.

Bucky had landed on the floor below, and yes, from where you were you could jump up and you'd probably have nothing but a cramp.

“How's it going up there?”

“Well, the shields are holding up okay, but I've got poor vision. I think they're regrouping somewhere else.”

You looked around.

Most of the floor had swallowed up the computers, but the main one was still loading the document. You could see the green from where you were. It was at ninety-seven percent.

But it was dangerous to get too close. The pendrive was dangling from the main computer which was about to succumb to the cracked floor.

There was some concrete left in front of the computers that you could walk across, so, without a second thought, you mapped out a mental guidance plan and moved forward.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you doing?”

“I'm getting the pendrive.”

“What? Are you insane? That side of the floor isn't going to support your weight!”

“Yes it will. I know how to do it.”

You started walking all over the remaining edge of the floor in front of what was left of the computers. Small pieces would break off as you passed causing Bucky to hiss.

“Y/N, you'd better stop and get down right now. There's still a risk of them firing again.”

“I'm gonna get it, Barnes.”

“Y/N! Get down, now!”

Ignoring his command, you held onto the remaining wall in front of you as you continued on your way, almost reaching where the pendrive was, about to fall into the abyss.

Ninety-eight percent.

“Y/N!”

“Fucking hell, Barnes, will you shut the fuck up? Your yelling is breaking my concentration.”

“You want me to just stay quiet while you walk to your certain death?”

“I'm not going to dieee- ahh-”

Your left foot, the one in front, wobbled as a piece of the floor came loose. You clung tightly to the wall as best you could, breathing deeply to calm your racing heart. Panicking at that moment wasn't going to do any good.

“God, I can't believe this,” you heard Bucky's voice, muttering to himself. “Now are you really going to get off?”

His voice sounded reprimanding, but agitated. In the midst of that mess, you wondered for a moment if he was really worried.

“I'm almost there.”

You heard him grunt in the distance.

You kept moving your feet in the direction of the main computer, this time more cautiously and more slowly. The floor all along that edge was too cracked, on the verge of falling. You were surprised it had lasted this long.

At that point, Bucky started talking to Steve, but you kept your full concentration on not falling. Maybe Bucky was right and you really didn't have any regard for your life, but…. No, no. You were very sure of what you were doing. You couldn't give up without trying everything. Maybe for Bucky it was too risky, but that was your life. And you knew you could do it.

Ninety-nine.

You had reached the critical point on the ground.

The voices of the two men were becoming too overwhelming, so you quickly took off your communicator and stuffed it in one of your tactical pants pockets.

“What the fuck did you just do?” Bucky exclaimed, a considerable distance away. He wasn't as far away as you thought.

“Your voices are distracting me!”

Good. You were close. Maybe from there you could reach it… if you stretched a little… a little more… a little- Whoop. Nope. You weren't that close. Another chunk of floor fell and with it everything around you shifted. The concrete was so unstable that it tilted further into the abyss after your not at all incredible maneuver.

You had to get even closer.

You had to use plan c.

But for that, the pendrive had to be one hundred percent charged and you weren't sure you could wait for that. Or well, you weren't sure the floor would hold. You had to be quick.

You heard Bucky behind you, but his words were carried away by the wind. You couldn't focus on him because that would be too distracting.

So, arriving at point x, you executed your plan as quickly as possible.

You ran. Even if the world was falling down, you ran. In the direction of the pendrive. The green number didn't change. You took a deep breath. You felt the sparks fly around you. The sound of the ground cracking was going to haunt you in several dreams.

You picked up the pendrive. You would have a few extra seconds as you leaned over and climbed over the computers to gain momentum.

The bing of the computer filled you with a rush of adrenaline.

One hundred percent.

You jumped. You held your breath for a second. Nerves built up in your throat. You felt like you were going to lose consciousness for a minute. Maybe you heard Bucky in the background, you weren't sure, but knowing him he was probably still scolding you.

In the midst of a deep exhalation…

Your feet hit the ground. You rolled. You moved quickly as you turned to see that the ground was still falling. You got up and ran.

You ran until you collided with a solid body. Bucky was shaking your shoulders.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he exclaimed, his face angry.

You could hear Steve's voice through his communicator because of how close he was.

“Shit.”

He grabbed your arm and you ran again.

Somehow, Bucky managed to get you out of the building as they bombed it again. You had a gunfight the moment you touched the cold snow.

You moved alongside Bucky like a symphony, aiming and firing with your gun until you managed to get away.

When you noticed that you kept going and kept running…

“Where's Steve?”

“If you had your fucking communicator on…”

Bucky grabbed your hand again to keep running.

You quickly reached a shack that looked abandoned and the man next to you wasted no time in letting go of you and running in the direction of what appeared to be a garage. There was a motorcycle.

You reached into your pocket only to realize that the communicator had been destroyed.

And Bucky looked too angry to want to talk.

“Get on.”

He drove all the way into town, but he didn't stop there.

You were on the road for at least about two hours. You had no idea where you were.

Somewhere along that trip, Bucky stopped in front of another abandoned shack and from there he pulled out a car. He set the bike on fire.

You went back on the road, for at least another hour.

Until you reached a small town and Bucky finally stopped in front of a house that didn't look so neglected.

“They destroyed the Quinjet's shields at missile point. Steve had to leave. We'll stay here until I can get through to Fury and we know what to do.”

His voice gave no room for retorts.

Present.

Well, yes, you were a bit reckless during missions, but so what? You got what you needed thanks to your incredible action plans and always came out unscathed. If you didn't do that during missions, how far behind would they be now in their knowledge against the enemy? They would probably be sitting ducks. Bucky didn't see that.

You two didn't talk for much of the afternoon and evening. You had spent it in the living room, trying to avoid the mess he had made to get something to eat and rest. You had perhaps slept for about three hours when you woke up and saw him sitting in one of the dining room chairs. The room looked cleaner than before.

Bucky sighed when he realized you had woken up.

“I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

You frowned. “What?”

“Earlier when we arrived. And for all the mess,” he averted his gaze when you leaned on your forearm to get a better look at him.

“Don't you think it was the least you could do?” quizzical, you sat back on the couch.

“Weren't you the one who said I don't know how to talk like a civilized adult?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Sometimes.”

“Well, now I want to. That's why I deeply apologize for reacting that way.”

You remained silent, not really knowing how to answer him. On the previous mission you'd had with Bucky, when the whole mess was over and you were quietly in the Quinjet taking it all in, Bucky had only said “you're fucking crazy” to you before exiting the aircraft. There was no scolding, at least not from him, no complaining, no yelling. Just that. And with that you stayed for a week because you never even saw him again.

Despite the number of times you had heard that, you couldn't see it that way. That was your job, that was what you did and you didn't dislike it. You had done it forever, it was basically your way of life and you had always done it excellently. You trained and practiced for situations like that, that's why you were part of SHIELD's risk management team for so long. You used to risk your life like that to save other people and it didn't bother you. Now you were still doing it, also to save people. There was no dark reason behind it. You were contributing to a common good and that was enough.

“I guess I haven't made things bearable for you either,” you admitted with a hint of remorse.

“No, never,” Bucky shook his head in agreement.

“I'm sorry I scared you,” the words slipped from your mouth. You wanted to say something else, but, well, that had to work.

Bucky let out a short laugh. His head jerked in sync, his shoulders loose as if he didn't have a care in the world. For a moment you felt like you were somewhere else; maybe in a living room, some alcoholic beverage in one of your hands as one of your favorite songs played softly in the background, and Bucky. Bucky sitting in front of you, just like that moment.

Wow. What the fuck was that?

“You apologize for my reaction, but not for what you did?” his sly grin was getting on your nerves. You preferred it when he wasn't trying to upset you at the point of smirks. You never thought that was a weapon he could use against you.

Feelings.

Ew.

No, I hate Bucky Barnes. This is unacceptable. Mind, get your shit together.

“Well, I tried to do that earlier and you didn't care. I don't know what you want from me, Barnes,” you turned your head away, nonchalantly playing with your hair to avoid seeing those light eyes again.

“You'd better leave it at that. I couldn't take that knack away from you if I tried for years,” the sigh that accompanied his words reminded you of something you'd thought of when you were in the building. His face still looked calm, but a little upset by the wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“Why do you care so much about that?” you asked him directly now that you had the chance.

You looked at him as he turned his head away, his eyes roaming over your face, confused.

“Are you asking me why I care about your life?”

Puzzled, you shrugged. His look almost made you think that was a weird thing to ask, but was it really? “Yes. Well…. You hate me.”

“What? I don't hate you,” Bucky shook his head, his face more contracted than before as if you'd said he had cat ears on his head. He looked almost offended.

And that was the really strange thing.

You mean, almost as long as you'd known Bucky your relationship had been based on fights and demeaning adjectives to each other. That he would say that made even less sense than you asking him why he cared so much about you. He had to be pulling your leg.

“What? But I hate you because you hate me,” you explained vaguely, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. That was one way of putting it; that is to say, Bucky never gave any indication that he didn't hate you. Or well…

“I don't hate you,” Bucky shrugged, his nonchalant expression confusing you that much more. “You're just a little… insufferable sometimes.”

You rolled your eyes. “That's just a synonym for hating.”

“I don't hate you,” he repeated, this time turning to look you in the eye. For a moment you felt like your breath caught in your throat and you were going to choke. “I know we argue and say a lot of things to each other, but… hating is too strong a feeling.”

“Are you really serious?” you shook your head to get the extraneous thoughts out; that wasn't the time to make a discovery, to realize you had lived a lie.

“Yes. And just to make you more sure, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you outside the Complex,” Bucky blurted out, matter-of-factly.

Your head went blank.

“WHAT?”

Several seconds stunned.

Bucky barely cracked a smile at your dumbfounded expression. It sure looked like you'd actually seen cat ears grow on his head. The things he was now saying… they didn't make sense. “You dislike the idea that much?”

“Do you want to not say things so drastically different every moment? You're changing my perception of reality.”

Bucky kept his small smile and you had to swallow hard to ignore the warmth that settled in your chest. It wasn't welcome, not at that moment. The sound of that music in the living room in your head was getting louder, as if your own mind wanted to mock your surprise.

“Well, back to your question,” Bucky moved his hands nonchalantly over his lap and your eyes followed his movement unashamedly, “I don't see why I shouldn't care about your life. We are partners, after all.”

Partners? After all you had been through? Were you partners? Did Bucky believe that?

“Are we?” you didn't try to hide the incredulous tone that accompanied your words, because it already sounded like you'd just stepped through the door into a parallel dimension.

“Sure,” Bucky nodded to emphasize your words and the calm expression on his face became more familiar with each passing second. Could it be that that had always been the reality and you had been deprived of it? “We've known each other for five years.”

“I always thought you hated me…” you mumbled to yourself, looking lost because your head recalling every fight of the last few years, since you met him, every tongue out and every exalted word, but his incredible hearing clearly picked up what you said as if you had murmured it in his ear.

“Surely it was a mistake in communication.”

“Mistake?” you frowned at his reassurance. “You always called me stubborn and childish every chance you got.”

“I thought we were annoying each other. Although, of course,” his face became a little more serious, “there were times when I knew you hated me intensely. You said really hurtful things, what was I supossed to do? That's why I never bothered to talk to you like this. You did hate me.”

“Because I thought you…! Argh.”

Bucky smiled again.

“You're the insufferable one, Barnes.”

You hated the way your head snapped back to that image in the living room, so peaceful and calm, so serene and warm, the moment his barely noticeable smile hit you again. You had barely managed to get those words out of your mouth before you felt yourself running out of breath again.

Were you asthmatic?

And why was your head suddenly filled with platonic thoughts you'd never had before in your life?

What the fuck was happening to you?

“This is the longest civilized conversation we've ever had,” Bucky spoke again, his gaze wandering somewhere in the room.

Yes, that was true. Whenever you talked for this long it was always to argue and say hurtful things to each other. But you were too surprised by everything he had said, because just yesterday he told you that he didn't want to come on this mission with you either and in his eyes you were sure you saw something like what you felt. Something of hatred, when you saw your eyes through his.

Did you just… imagine it all?

Did you think he hated you because you hated him too?

Or maybe you wanted to convince yourself that he hated you. Maybe it was easier to deal with that than with the idea that you…

Oh no.

No, no, no. There's no fucking way that's it.

But then Bucky stood up and with his smug, know-it-all, hateful look, with that sly, evil grin, like he'd always known everything, like he was squirming around enjoying your confused stare, he held out his hand to you and said:

“Shall we fix something to eat?”

Oh, no, you were screwed.

--

a/n: thank u so much for reading!! <3

[kakujis]

do you love me? 2;

synposis: they wake you up at 3am to ask if you love them. pt 1 here. 3 + 4

warnings: gn!reader, clingy bfs, no set timeline, kazutora's is a lil sad, insecurities, implications of cheating(there is none tho). not proofread!

feat: kakucho, kazutora, izana.

a/n: after i wrote the first part, i wanted to do the same thing but switched! this is the most flowery, fluttery, butterflies searching for a drink type beat drabble i've ever written. i haven't written like this in a while soo i hope it makes sense lol. the tone of kaku's is a lil different because i started his first oops! also big ty to @fuyuluvr for helping me finish izana's bit. ♡

kakucho had never once doubted you, not when you’ve told him he’s the sun and the moon and the reason why the stars gather in the night sky, cheesy words always getting a hot blush on his face. how could he, when you’ve barreled through the doors of your shared apartment to jump into his waiting arms, peppering kisses along his jaw, whines of “i missed you! i missed you!”. 

but it’s hard lately when he finds you and rindou with hushed voices at the gym, sitting on a bench, sheepish grins on your faces when he approaches to ask what the two of you have been talking about. 

“nothing!” you exclaimed, slipping your phone back into your pocket, scooting farther from the blonde beside you. “i’m gonna head out okay? i’ll see you later.” you exchanged one more glance with rin who nodded to you. kakucho remembers the surprised look on your face, when he pulled you into a particularly tight hug pressing his lips to your forehead, “see you at home,” you said, eyes softened before breaking free and walking out. 

he tried his best to not pry throughout his workout, tried his best to not get angry when rindou asked, “you alright?” when he noticed the particularly quick responses that kakucho was throwing at him. 

“yeah, i’m fine.” he assured, fighting the urge to accuse his friend of anything nefarious. but man was it hard with this little nail in his heart hammering away at his insecurities and worst fears. maybe it was time to take izana’s advice and “just ask them about it.” 

and that’s how he ended up here, sitting awake at 3am listening to the tick of a clock. even in your sleep you clung on to him, drooling and snoring on his arm. 

gently, he reaches over to shake your shoulder. the shift made you cling harder, eliciting a whine from your sleepy state. kakucho chuckles, before he shakes a little bit harder, already feeling a little silly at his concerns. 

“you awake yet?” he asks when you finally start to blink your eyes and glance up at him. 

“hi,” you yawn, using your hand to wipe at your drool, “what time is it?” you prop yourself up, squinting at the clock on the wall. 

“like 3am.” he says, unable to hold back the smile on his face as he studies your sleepy expression.  

“hmm? why are we awake then?” you yawn again, droopy lids starting to fall again, but kakucho stops you before you’re able to fall asleep. 

“wait,” he mutters, pulling you up so that you’re pressed against his chest and facing him. he places his hands on the sides of your cheeks, staring straight into your drowsy eyes. “do you love me?” 

the question catches you off guard, you’ve never seen him so serious before. there’s a crease in his brow and his heterochromatic eyes hold something like worry, something that’s scared, as if you’d say no. 

you blink off the sleep that once riddled your bones before scowling, “kaku.. what kinda question is that? of course i love you.” you assert, squirming until you’re straddling him. you place your hands on top of his own, prying one down to lace with your fingers. “why?” 

he looks away, burning under your gaze, “it’s nothin’,” he mumbles, dropping his other hand from your face. but since you’re fully awake now, the haze of sleep gone, you catch on fast, the wheels in your head rewinding back to earlier that day at the gym.

“ohh,” you hum, removing your hand from his and cupping his face this time so that he’ll look at you. “is this because of earlier? with rindou?” 

“maybe..” he says, eyes darting away from yours, “it’s just weird you don’t want me to hear what you two are talking about and it’s also not the first time so...” 

you sigh, climbing off of him and reaching over to the nightstand on your side of the bed to grab your phone. settling back next to him, you unlock the screen and click on your messages. you wiggle your phone at him adding, “i’ve got nothing to hide, see?” before you open the texts with rindou:

y/n: HEY

rindou 🙄: hi

y/n: IS PROJECT KAKUCHO STILL A GO??

rindou 🙄: project kakucho??? 

y/n: dont tell me u forgot… his birthday is coming up!!!

the conversation continues with the plans the two of you had made specifically for kakucho’s birthday, the venue, the people invited, what kind of cake you should get, etc. you scroll slowly, periodically glancing up at your boyfriend as the blush on his face deepens. probably from a mixture of embarrassment and the way every mention of his name has some type of adjective describing how cute he is. 

“see? i wanted to surprise you.” you say, beginning to hand the phone over, “you can scroll up even earlier if you want.” 

“no, i trust you…” he says before taking your phone and putting it down on the nightstand. “sorry, that was sort of stupid of me.” honestly, he had completely forgotten about the occasion, it was just another day for him. 

you shake your head, “well.. i can’t blame you. if i’m thinking about it from your perspective, i’d probably be a little suspicious too.” 

he blinks, caught off guard by the way you agreed without a hint of sarcasm. “really?” 

you nod, “yup… especially if i didn’t trust my partner, cmon now! rindou?” you tease and he groans out another “sorry.” 

“couldn’t you have thought i had a crush on one of your cute friends?” you scoff, crossing your arms. 

“rindou is cute though.” he says quickly and matter of fact, not really processing what he’s just said. 

“huh?”

“he’s… y’know, he’s good looking.” he repeats, gesturing with his hands and glancing down at you. your face is unreadable as you take in the information, those little gears in your head turning again. 

“hm. well, if he’s so good looking then you should totally date him.” you joke, trying your best to keep a straight face. 

“that’s not what i meant!” kakucho exclaims, running his hands down his face and you laugh. 

“gimme my phone, i’ll set you up.♡” you chime, holding your hand out. “besides i think he’s into you too! totally checks you out at the gym.” 

“can you stop?!” 

kazutora: 

kazutora has an annoying little habit, where he doubts if you really love him, which culminates in late night questioning. you’ve assured him many times before that you don’t mind, you’ll tell him as many times as he wants and you’ll reassure him whenever he’s doubtful, but he hates it. this little worm of insecurity that digs its way through his stomach, his chest, until it makes it up into his brain, shaking and bouncing off it’s walls until he can’t take it anymore. 

he hates this feeling, more so because he knows it’s stupid, he knows there’s no reason for it, there’s never been any indication for it and yet, he still cries or lashes out because of it. like maybe he's not that good of a person, maybe he's not what you need, and maybe he'll never be enough. what better time for insecurity to sink it’s fangs in than the dead of night? 

he rolls over, cheek squished against the pillow. reaching over to quickly pull you closer to him, back against his chest. you shift a little, rousing out of sleep, tilting your head up towards his with a little curl of a smile. it’s so easy to read him now and pick up on his mood changes, but you think nothing negative, instead feeling warm that sometimes he’s so vulnerable with you, searching for his security like a child looking for their favorite blanket. 

“hi tora,” you mumble, voice heavily laced with sleep, “what’s wrong baby?” he doesn’t answer at first, the only response to you being an even tighter squeeze under his muscled arms. you respond back, wriggling under his touch, pressing so far into him it’s as if the two of you are trying to mold together and become one. 

“do you love me?” he asks, voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“i’ve never loved anything more,” you proclaim and kazutora gives a little needy whine while his hands start to wander up the expanse of your skin and you giggle as his touch tickles you under the sheets. 

“you’d pick me every time?” he asks, the heaviness in his heart lightening with each breathy giggle of “that tickles!” but it’s his way of comforting himself, whether it’s running his hands over your bare skin or inserting them into your jacket pockets while he holds you from behind, kazutora finds solace in the warmth of your body. 

“mhm! every time, without a doubt! now stop!” you say in between laughs, desperately trying to push his hands off of you but he’s stronger, hands curling into the plush fat of your side and you yelp. “toraa!” 

“hmm?” he teases, continuing his relentless assault. but the way you’re kicking and squirming has his hold on you weakening. you’re unable to fully control your movement, thrashing as your elbow flies back, hitting him right in the stomach. “ow, fuck!” he groans, releasing you and rolling over. he grimaces as he places a hand where you hit him, curling inwardly on himself. 

out of breath, you roll onto your knees, sitting up while you scoot closer to him. one hand rests on your side, aching from your previous uncontrollable laughter. 

“not my fault.” you pant when he glances up at you with puppy dog eyes. “i told you to stop.” you roll your eyes at him, but the pout gracing his face persists and you give in. you bend over, brushing away stray blonde locks from his face before you bend down and give him a kiss. “sorry.” 

“s’okay,” he grins, eyes crinkling as he pulls you back down into his embrace. there’s a few minutes of silence, the only noise being the occasional swivel of fabric underneath your feet as readjust every so often. “you really meant it, right?” he asks, breaking through the silence, that pesky little worm still rearing it’s ugly head in his thoughts.

“every word.” you reply, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. you place a finger on his lips as you continue, hoping to dispel the rest of his worries. “in any dimension, in any lifetime. if i could live a thousand lives, i’d pick you every time.” 

he blinks before he’s pushing your head down to rest on his chest. there’s no vocal response, instead only the tremble of his body as his grip on you turns crushing, one hand’s fingers intertwined with the tresses of your hair. you realize now that it was due to his embarrassment, a silent plea to just this once, not look at him as his relief spills out as fat, droplet tears that run down his face and onto yours. but it’s okay, you’ve always embraced the rain. 

izana:

izana thinks its insane every time you pull at the that strings that hold together his weary heart. but you pluck at them with each call of his name that rolls off your tongue like a siren call, entrancing and pulling him towards you and only you. with those vibrations he seeks you like a moth to a flame, fluttering towards your light and basking in the glow. 

heavy and sluggish, he trudges up the stairs to your shared apartment inwardly cursing about how late it is. the plan is to take a shower and get in bed as quietly and quickly as possible. you’re definitely asleep by now, so he tries his best to enter silently, not wanting to wake you. but as he tiptoes into your bedroom, the sight of you asleep huddled under the covers as you hug izana’s pillow has him falling onto the bed, gently taking the pillow from your arms and replacing it with himself. 

you scrunch your face as you awaken, heavy lidded eyes blinking and adjusting to the blurry image of izana before you. pretty lavender eyes watch you with a small upturned grin that grows wider at your, “mm?” the chirrup of your voice like the birdsongs in the morning. izana thinks you’re the prettiest melody, better than any song on the radio or classical composition. 

“good morning.” he says and you tilt your head quizzically, squinting at the alarm clock on your nightstand, the lull of sleep still beckoning you over. 

“it’s 3am, zana,” you whine when you read the red blink of numbers, trying to roll over but he holds you still, arms wrapped around your hips. 

he shrugs, a smirk on his face. “and?” 

“and i was sleeping.” you mumble, irritation lacing through your voice before frowning and closing your eyes. 

the quirk of his grin falls, settling into a line, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. he knows he came home late and he knows it’s probably annoying to be woken up, yet he was hoping you’d still be excited to see him, to be with him.

“do you love me?” he asks, knowing it’s a dumb question. your reaction is normal, but being around you makes him feel abnormal, and he’s so greedy for everything you’ve got. he thinks you’ll reprimand him again for keeping you awake, but instead you hum when he starts to caress your face, the pad of his thumb running over your skin in airy strokes.

“mhm. i love, love you.” you reply, happily keening up into his touch, pressing your cheek further into his hand. 

“say it again,” he says and you open one eye, quirking an eyebrow. you almost say, “really?” but the insecurity dancing in his eyes stops you and you comply.

“i love you.” you say again, a little louder this time. 

“again.” he commands.

“izana..” you huff. you know him, this could go on for hours if you gave in. 

“just one more time, please?” he pleads hanging onto his last word. he’s never told you, but this is his favorite song, the kind that always gets stuck on replay in his head. the one that he puts on to comfort him when the outside noise of daily life is a little too loud. 

“i love you.” you sigh, conceding and punctuating it with a quick peck on his lips and he grins. “happy now?” 

he nods, “i’ll never get tired of hearing that.” he presses a kiss to your cheek, letting you settle back into a more comfortable position. you lay with your back to his chest, as he cages you from behind. “now get some sleep, its late.” 

you’re quick to look back at him, eye brow raised in disbelief.  “you’re literally the one who woke me up?” 

“shh, that doesn’t matter, just go to sleep.” 

“but-“ 

“good night, love.” he interrupts, thinking that he should record it the next time you sing him such a pretty number. 

[midnight-mourning]

I need like, two more hours to finish and then read through the next chapter, so be on the lookout for that ^-^

BUT in the meantime, hyped myself up to share this little 'challenge' I've been doing for the past week, which is drawing Sun every day!

Yapping below the cut if you'd like to hear the 'why' behind this, feel free to just scroll by it tho lol

So I think I've shared before that I struggle a lot with lineart and such and so this was my way to get some practice. Especially since with classes and research my time is basically shot 😖

Every day (besides day 1/2) I used a different set of brushes for lining and coloring and just kind of went for it, some I like better than others, but I think it was good for me overall! Don't know if I'll do the next week with Moon or just continue with Sun, haven't decided yet

My intention is to continue to draw one of these everyday for a 30 days and use it as a way to practice and maybe boost my confidence in relation to art since I know it's something I need to work on IN me, y'know?

Anywho, I'm working on getting the next chapter of Confused Spirit out ASAP, I think it needs an hour more of writing and then an hour of reading through, need to do a couple other things tonight as well but it WILL be out before I go to bed tonight

Do apologize again for the wait, besides life being crazy this one got SUPER long (I THINK it's the biggest one yet, biggest in this arc I know that for sure) and based on the outline and personal perference I don't want to split it. Hope to see you all real soon :D

Also @luckyyyduckyyy if any of these look familar the way you draw Sun WAS in my brain while doodling that I will admit 😅

[studentbyday]

week 2: she lives! she breathes! she’s beautifully unconventional (aka getting my mojo back)

Real courage is in trying to stay calm despite the chaos happening around and within you.

I have to keep swimming even if I don't know if my efforts will bear the fruits I expect (so far, since leaving high school, nothing about my life path has gone the way I expected. and that's just what real life is sometimes). There is meaning and purpose in the process (the fact that I keep taking baby steps towards my goals is already an achievement worth taking pride in! 👣).

Academics:

Read course announcements

Signed up for global health group

Wrote down meeting dates

Finished M1 global health (so...remember how i said some of it felt kind of "woo-woo" to me? well. we're past that now. things just got real. it might be a bs course aimed at ticking that "is empathetic and cares about humanity" checkbox for premed students applying to med school, but! global health is genuinely important and dammit if i don't treat it like the serious and important issue it is, then who am i? [context: the discussion post assignments i had to do for this week reminded me of why i'm taking this course...beyond the fact that it's required for health sci and supposedly birdy 😅])

Finished M1 immunology by Tuesday

Finished M2 immunology by Thursday

Started M2 microbiology

Reviewed some immunology flashcards

Completed microbiology quiz

Finished first pathology assignment but still have to check the last question and send tmr 🙈

Completed first two global health assignments

Completed immunology quiz

Dropped cell phys course

the amount of content i have to remember in each course is insane so i've resorted to using screenshots of the slides in my flashcards which in theory should allow me to focus more on actually reviewing the flashcards. sometimes i forget tho. and that's annoying because (a) it slows me down and (b) because my keyboard keys keep getting stuck and it hasn't been given a proper clean in ages and every time i use it it's a reminder of yet another thing i haven't done yet 😅

Health:

Pilates x3

Yoga x1

Journal x3

Meditate x4

Other life things:

Changed bedding

Laundry

Reading (designing your life / the secret adversary)

Morning nature walk and sniff 🌲 (i have been taking for granted the little pleasures i'm lucky to have in my life in the busy-ness of school. i'm glad i made a good morning bingo i can look back on to remind me of some of them. 🥺😌)

Cleaned house

Met up with some family friends

Music in My Head:

Unravel

Show

Changes (i always forget the name of this song even tho it never changes lol 😅 but i love it and the frogs sm)

Watashi wa saikyou

Träumerei

Things I'm looking forward to:

Waking up without feeling sleepy ✨

Learning stuff I need for the lab-hopeful 🤓

More pilates 💓 (the slow kind because i get to notice to how alive i feel instead of how i feel like i'm dying because it's too fast and difficult for my level 😂 and yet when i go slow, i'm still getting stronger! 💪🏻😃)

Learning the pathology of leukemia 🔬

Applying my newfound immunology knowledge to the first assignment on covid 👩🏻‍🔬

Being done with all my work for the week 😌

My not-bingo bingo so far this September:

[atierrorian]

Helloo there~! It's my first time requesting on your blog so I hope I don't mess this up. Can I have headcanons of Leona, Deuce, Malleus and Jamil with a female s/o who loves to cook their daily meals for them?

Part 2

Sure I can! And thank you for Requesting on my Blog!

-Legit Ruggie is so glad you exist.

-Besides that Leona may not look like it or even show it, but he loves your cooking.

-He is thankful that you cook for him on a daily basis and that it shows that you do care for him! (Because back at home it was different).

-Now Leona does get something for you for your generosity and that's by cuddling you and sleeping on you! (Which he does this 24/7 btw)

-Of course, besides that he lets Ruggie bring you something maybe food or something, on rare occasions tho, he will do it himself if his feeling nice that is.

-Forgot to mention but he gobles of all of the food you make and pretends that he didn't and yet asks for seconds.

-For you, you love to make him meals that Grim might even start complaining about why you aren't doing the same thing to him.

-Which btw you do It's just that he thinks you do it more often to Leona than to him.

-Overall safe to say he really is just a big cat.

-Oh and also he thinks you make better food than the Chefs at home.

-Deuce is flustered.

-Now listen he loves his mom and his mom loves you and the fact that you cook for him on a daily basis just reminds him of his mom.

-Now don't worry he isn't comparing you to his Mother because he knows you are your own person and he respects that.

-But now onto the flustered part.

-When you said you wanted to make him a meal on a daily basis, he almost passed out, like legit he did almost passed out.

-Now he loves your cooking! Like really he does! He loves loves loves it! And gets so flustered It's adorable!

-He ranks your Cooking probably at the same rank as his Mother because he can't decide and because he loves you both equally. (And because he will feel guilty his entire life if he ranks you or his mom below rank 1)

He will also beat anyone who dares to insult your cooking and you are the one that's gotta stop him from sending that person to the Infirmary. (Which btw is already too late.)

-On how he repays you is basically just showing affection and is thankful and actually DOES show it and does not ruin his pride or Ego. *̶C̶o̶u̶g̶h̶s̶*̶ ̶*̶C̶o̶u̶g̶h̶s̶*̶ ̶L̶e̶o̶n̶a̶ ̶*̶C̶o̶u̶g̶h̶s̶*̶

-Overall safe to say he is an adorable chick fan. (Please do not serve him an omelet or any egg-related foods or else he will actually pass out.)

-Yay!! No more Lilia's cooking!!

-*Clears throat* Uh alright besides that um Malleus is thankful and glad that you cook for him on a daily basis! (At least now he won't be able to taste the cooking of Lilia's)

-And Diasomnia is glad that you are here as their savior from saving them from the horrid of Lilia's cooking which Lilia thinks nothing is wrong with his cooking! (Btw Lilia maybe you should look at your right and see that a person legit got poisoned because of your cooking.)

-But besides that Malleus adores your cooking so much! He will eat nothing other than your cooking which is fine by you btw because you don't mind and because fact you love cooking for the Fae so It's a win-win for both of you! (Aka called Mutualism were both benefits from one another and Malleus needs your cooking and he loves it while you love cooking for him, but why are we doing science and why am I setting an example here.)

-Malleus's heart will beat faster whenever he sees you cooking and waits for you to finish cooking, and while he does wait he admires you, while you cook.

-He also asks for more meals from you if he feels like it and wants to which is almost 24/7 and the fact that you need to buy more ingredients but Malleus already got you covered and sends out Silver or Lilia to buy the Ingredients. (No Sebek you know how he is.)

-You basically live in Diasomnia now (That is if you haven't yet) and you couldn't be more happier!

-The Aroma of your meals always sends him cloud nine and thanks you for the meals and holds your hand and kisses you on the cheek.

-Which you melt from it and your more determined than ever to make him the best meals!

-Overall he is thankful and grateful for you and he loves you and your cooking!

-Grateful and is glad you know how to cook.

-Now his whole entire life was basically him serving someone else, so someone else serving him? (Man sign him the fuck up.)

-Now Jamil is thankful that you cook for him on a daily basis for a meal and even asks you if you wanted to cook together as a way of bonding with each other! (Which you obviously say yes duh)

-Now cooking for him on a daily basis he is grateful and sometimes even helps you and teaches you some of his secret recipes (Which he will only be showing to you and no one else)

-And Kalim also loves your cooking, the boy literally squealed when he first tasted your cooking and Jamil had to keep him quiet.

-Jamil also loves your cooking as well!

-Of course he isn't really used to it yet because like I said his whole entire life was basically him serving someone else and not the other way around.

-Now after he does get used to it you will treat him like a King and he will treat you like a Queen! And he doesn't mind it and you also don't mind it!

-The dates are certainly mostly you guys cooking together because your good at cooking and his good at cooking, you guys make a great Duo! And Kalim agrees and he loves both of your Cooking and Jamil's cooking.

-Overall He loves you as much as he loves your cooking!

This is been on my Drafts for as long as I can remember now.

[valentine-writes]

Hello!! I absolutely adore your spot HC!

I was wondering if you could write something pre-collider accident? When he was working for alchemax ^^

I would adore more content about him and reader being coworkers, maybe this is way too self indulgent, but I crave some good enemies/rivals to lovers with this man. I think the dynamic would be so fun ^^

competitive

「 tws + notes: possibly ooc, no tws, unedited, rivals to lovers (which i hope i do justice), pre-collider johnathan ohnn, reader and johnathan are petty,,, can u tell i like writing him mildly bitchy, plz forgive any conflicts w/ canon i researched but im like 99.9% sure there r still errors 」

「 gn!reader, romantic relationship <3 」

↳ ft. johnathan ohnn/the spot

author's note: ouughh i love this sooo much,,, thank u AUDHEWUFHEW o((>ω< ))o !!! im so excited to write more of pre-collider him,, ignore me as i feverishly research every bit of canon info i can get cuz i haven't been able 2 rewatch the movie yet i hope this is to ur liking! enemies to lovers is not my strong suit,, but OHOUWHUDHEWH RIVALS TO LOVERS!!! UNDERUTILIZED!!! might hafta make a part two tho,,, locked in on the rivals part,,, lovers part in progress. ok no more of my rambles

▸ ever since you had arrived at alchemax, you and johnathan just couldn't seem to get along. not a particularly useful thing, considering you both worked for the same research company where teamwork was vital though, you insisted you had no real spite for him, the second you had gotten the job, you just seemed to one-up him in every single way.

every. single. way.

▸ when given a deadline, you'd finish in half the time it took him. when completing research, you have the information compiled when he was just starting to organize his.

hell, you even succeeded in being more proficient socially. how had you made so many friends already?

▸ he had to admit you were terribly charming too– a trait he was particularly envious of– and from the few times he's seen you get coffee with one or two of the other scientists, he knew that everyone seemed to think the same

not like he was paying that much attention to you as he saw you laughing with another coworker through the cafe window. foam party? sounds boring anyways, whatever

▸ he wasn't mad because he was lonely, or saw himself as inferior to you. johnathan had friends and honestly didn't consider himself particularly bad at making them. johnathan knew he was intelligent and that with his work, he could accomplish something big.

no, this problem had nothing to do with him. it was you. besides you, all the things he worked hard for was just second nature.

how annoying.

▸ your sworn rivalry had been one-sided for the longest of time to any witnesses. grumbling under his breath while he passed you, making a great effort to speak curtly with you, and was certainly not beyond intentionally knocking his shoulder into yours when he passed the look you shot at him for doing this was enough to make him wither on the spot– unintentional joke. my bad.

but he knew you were just as competitive as he was. the way you acted just had to be intentional. some of your remarks towards him were too pointed to ignore– your smiles and your friendliness nothing more than keeping it as civil as possible in a workplace setting.

professionalism, masking a deeper intention: to outdo him.

▸ and once you had figured that your feigned innocence would no longer keep you afloat, that's when the true rivalry began. an ambition-fuelled climb to the top to be better than the other.

it manifested more childishly than you two cared to admit.

"you know, chewing on pens isn't great for your enamel." johnathan practically jumps out of his seat, your words effectively snapping him out of his completely focused state.

he grumbles, looking over at you while lowering the pen away from his mouth a habit that i have too... guys look away itz not projecting...

you only shrug your shoulders. "just saying, johnny."

"don't call me that." he retorts, trying not to roll his eyes. "are you here just to bother me with unsolicited comments about my habits and dental advice?"

you laugh and he feels his face heat up in annoyance. you and your stupid laugh. he's heard enough of it around the workplace while you chatted amongst the others. it was a sound he could live without.

"so hostile. we work together, y'know?" you grin. there's a glimmer of amusement in your eyes. you were getting on his nerves and you knew it.

"anyways, i just came to ask if you had a pen i could borrow. preferably not one with teeth marks." the last part is tacked on so briefly that johnathan didn't even have time to be offended about it before he replied.

he looks at you dead in the face. "sorry. i don't have an extra pen on me."

you glance at the completely untouched, unused, ballpoint pen on his desk and then back at him. he says nothing, staring at you silently, before you get the hint decide to go ask someone else.

▸ it gets pettier.

imagine johnathan eying up a coworker, getting all blushy and stumbling over his words around them.

and within a week, you've got their number– and he passes by the two of out in that STUPID FUCKING HIPSTER CAFE GODDAMMIT–

it's not that serious to him. he can move on from a workplace crush. he however, can't move on from the fact you swooped in before he even got a chance. you never care to bring up that on your little coffee date with that person ended up being a disaster– maybe it was for the better they stayed away from him

▸ of course, he was able to outdo you too. his biggest success?

"so," johnathan flinched away, about to walk out the glass doors of alchemax and head home for the day– only to find you with your back leaning against the frame, arms crossed. "heard you got put in charge over something pretty important."

he curses under his breath. "you can't just sneak up on people like that."

"i was literally standing here in plain sight the entire time."

"were you waiting for me or something?" he asks sarcastically. johnathan seems somewhat surprised when you don't respond, awkwardly averting your gaze from him for a moment hm. guess that's a "yes"...

"doesn't matter." you reply, shoving your hands in your pockets. "so... you're working on a portal thingy?"

"i'm one of the people overseeing it, yes." he huffs, trying to answer your questions quickly and just get the hell home. but as you figured, he had all the time in the world when it came to correcting you.

"and– the word portal is inaccurate."

you raise an eyebrow. "yeah?"

"it's a particle accelerator. you should know what that means. the goal of this project is to essentially create a passageway– a bridge, if you will– between two separate dimen–"

"so, a portal." you interrupt.

he glares at you and you swear his eye twitches.

"just wanted to know. congrats, ohnn." you say casually, before exiting out the door.

the next time he sees you, he discovers that head scientist, olivia octavius who just so happens to be fond enough of your work to hear you out when you asked her decided it would be a good idea to have you work on the project as well.

even though johnathan was still technically still ahead of you– he kicked himself for how quickly you were beginning to catch up. you flashed him a grin from your desk as you began to help out on the project– he forced one back through gritted teeth.

▸ after tirelessly working on the project together as a team still trying your very best to outdo one another he figures this feud of yours is getting nowhere.

you've both spent sleepless nights on this project you both equally cared for,, it was time to just give up and be normal coworkers. an odd conclusion for johnathan to reach as a notorious grudge holder. maybe the lack of rest was getting to him, too exhausted to even deal with you anymore. or maybe, he was satisfied where he was right now– on the verge of a huge breakthrough with him being one of the main contributors– he no longer needed the pleasure of being better than you.

"how did you even get this number?" you ask, recognizing his voice through the phone as he greeted you.

"well, funny thing actually. alchemax has all the employee information on files, so i just–"

the realization hits you. "snooped through mine to get my phone number?! you're insane!"

he's desperate to explain, just trying to get to his point without getting a headache from you. "no, no, no– wait, i didn't come to fight or anything–"

"then what do you want, johnathan? a little medal? a trophy or somethin? you're probably getting that anyways after this whole thing– so,, so– what? what is it?!" you snap.

this is the only blatant hostility you've ever shown him. both ends of the call fall silent.

"wow uh– that was a lot." he mumbles awkwardly.

"...'m sorry." the shame makes your ears burn up. it is getting childish. you can't deny it.

he blinks at his phone, before bringing it back up to his ear. "did you just apologize? have i got the right person?"

it's your turn to groan. "are you trying to get me to take it back?"

"no! no, no, no– sorry." he replies quickly, stuttering as he tries to get back on track. "i just wanted to talk...."

the words hang in the air for much longer than needed.

"just spit it out already." you inturrupt.

"we should truce." he blurts out. "you know... maybe we should calm down. start over."

johnathan pauses for a moment, waiting for a reaction from you. you give him absolutely nothing. he takes a deep breath before speaking up again.

"i just thought it'd be better this way. this is getting ridiculous. and i think we're both mature enough to move past it so–"

"no, thank you."

he falters momentarily, processing what you had just said. "i'm– i'm sorry, i think misheard you."

"no, you heard me," you repeat, your smile clear as day in your voice, "no. thank. you."

"i like what we've got going on. keeps me motivated." the sweetness in your tone makes him cringe.

"you can't be serious." he rubs the bridge of his nose, fighting off the urge to lose his mind.

"oh, but i am." you lean into your phone's mic, voice dropping to a whisper. "just give me time. i'll catch up with you eventually."

your stubborness was truly something else.

"nope. can't do this, not today, nope–"

you laugh to yourself, hearing him hang up. you secretly hoped he'd at least keep talking to you a little longer. probably just a result of being a tad sleep deprived too.

▸ the collider is almost finished. ever since the phone call, you and johnathan hadn't talked for days.

and now, there you were, at his desk.

"need a pen?" he asks, looking up at you, expecting you to bother him again.

you shake your head. "actually, i came to ask for something else. i've been thinking about what you said..."

the words catch in your throat. you stare at the ground, the humiliation of what you're about to say causing you to fidget with your hands. he's never seen you like this– timid and anxious in his presence rather than smug and confident. it's a sight that he thought would bring him joy– but he's far beyond that now. instead, he looks at you curiously, not unlike the way he observes specimens.

"go on..." he says, leaning in slightly.

you meet his gaze sheepishly. "yeah. maybe a truce doesn't sound so bad."

he smiles back, cautious but hopeful. "you mean it?"

"this isn't me surrendering." you're quick to say, though your defensiveness falls flat, only causing his smile to fade for a moment. "i'm growing bored of it. we can just move on." it's not what he had in mind– but he'll take it.

"okay. sounds... good?" he replies awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

"mhm. so, you still have my phone number, right?"

he freezes. "yes... but– um– i can just delete it from my contacts now if– if you want. that was weird of me to do. really sorry 'bout that. just wanted to talk."

"nah. keep it." you say with a slight shrug of your shoulders. he tilts his head slightly at your reaction.

"i'll text you when work's done so we can grab a coffee or somethin." there's that smile he's grown so familiar with. this time it has no undertones of aggression– something which he finds more unnerving somehow. he can't tell what you're up to.

"i– uh– what–" he stammers.

you await the rejection.

"i mean– sure... but... you want that?" he asks, his tone careful, like he expects this to just be a scheme of yours. never in a million years would he think that you'd want to actually resolve whatever conflict you had going on. much less, spend time with him outside of work.

" i mean, i just offered, didn't i?"

"right– ...so uh– after work then. okay. it's a date."

he mentally kicks himself for the last part. "i– not like– a date, date, but–"

you don't give him time to stumble over his words and make a fool of himself.

"great." you turn to leave, but glance over your shoulder before walking away. "see you later, johnny."

▸ you failed to acknowledge this earlier, and maybe he had too– but over the course of your mutual rivalry, you found that you admired him. his brain, his work, his sheer tenacity– and he admired you too.

perhaps you didn't have to be better than one another.

"here's to new beginnings." you mutter to yourself, shooting him a text while waiting at the cafe.

[sinning-23]

My First Kiss

OKAY so this is indeed a multi fandom page and I have recently been rewatching Attack on Titan so I hope you guys are ready to endure this brainrot with me :D I'll probably make a pt. 2 with the higher ups and shit-

Never fear tho i have some OPLA stuff in the works too I just haven't really finished it up...

ps. im sorry for any spelling errors I wrote this on impulse

ANYWHO enjoy!

Eren

Your first kiss was completely by accident. Didn't make it any less rendering or embarrassing. The conversation between you and the main three was getting heated, Armin making a valid point that Eren simply wasn't listening to (he was listening he's just hardheaded) and Mikasa gave her occasional input only fueling the fire.

Somehow the debate took a turn and before you knew it everyone was becoming more and more animated in their movements. You had simply turned your head a bit too quickly in the direction Eren was sitting nd coincidentally he had moved forward just enough for your lips to meet in a quick pec.

"O-Oh! I'm sorry!" You yip, immediately pressing your fingertips to the spot on your lips.

You'd never seen Eren turn so red so fast. He tried to play it off, averting his eyes as the conversation died down a bit at the awkward occurrence. He'd never admit that he was hoping for something like that to happen.

Armin

You were a bit taller than Armin, well at least when you were younger. The blond just HAD to have a growth spurt. Anyway, you had a bit of making your height different more painfully obvious. When he reached for books you often got them off the higher shelf and teased him a little before giving and handing him the hardcover he desired.

As previously stated, he just HAD to have a growth spurt. Now if was your turn to be teased. You had been reaching as best you could, the presence behind you making you stop.

The blond had grabbed the item so easily, hell you'd forgotten what you needed at this point. he looked...good from this angle, his eyes somehow darker as he looked down at you with a smile.

"I won't tease." He hums, pressing his lips to your wrist, your hand still stretched upwards before he places the item in it.

If your major crush on the blond wasn't solidified before it sure as hell was now

Connie

You and Connie were already in a relationship, more secret so as to not draw attention but god damn it was easy to see you two were a lot closer than before...and neither of you was really good at keeping a secret like this especially when the two of you always had your hands off one another.

At this point, everyone had seen you two hold hands, sneak off during training to just be in each other's presence, little stuff. The one thing that had yet to be seen was more intimate contact. And it was only because it hadn't even happened yet. You and Constance hadn't kissed yet...so when you had snuck into the boy's dorm to lay with your glorified cuddle buddy, you weren't expecting anything but that. Until he started talking to you. In whispers of course.

"Hey y/n," He began, your fingers intertwined as you faced each other, your limbs tangled with one another.

"Yeah, Connie?" You answer, throat suddenly dry when his hand rests against your hip. It wasn't like you didn't think about being more romantic with Connie, you were really just nervous, you'd never kissed anyone before and neither had he.

"Do you think we should...kiss more. I mean, you are my girlfriend, I should kiss you, right?" He asks, his eyes looking down at yours, easy to see even in the darkened room.

"Do you want to kiss me Constance?" You ask, placing you hand behind his neck, your thumb rubbing over the fuzz at the base of his neck from hs buzzcut.

There was a little hesitation but your question was answered when his lips are pressed firm against your own.

Jean

This smug bastard, he knows you like to pick fights just as much as he does. and when you pick fights with him, it's honestly his favorite thing. He loves how your eyebrows angle so far down that you have a little crease between them. He loves how you get in his face and point that well-manicured finger into his chest. He loves it when you get loud. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, but sometimes he pisses you off on purpose for just a crumb of your attention.

This particular argument was over who was supposed to clean the stables. You insist he help you but of course, he wants to fight, so he declines.

"I wasn't asking I was telling dumbasss now get up and help me." You huff, walking to him, your head angled upwards and the height difference. He only smirks and takes the opportunity to claim your lisp. The action surprised him a little bit. Since when did he get the balls to do something as bold as that. What surprised him more was when you tugged at his collard to push him away...but only doubled down and snatched him back to meet your lips again.

Yeah, if this was when he was gonna get when he pissed you off, he was gonna make it a point to do it more often.

Reiner

Honestly, you couldn't remember when you and Reiner first kissed, you two just sort of...did it and didn't stop doing it. Reiner always had some sort of scary guard dog position when he was with you and made it a point to let everyone know who was treating you like the goddess you were. So, any chance he got to show you off and show that he was totally hitting that, he did. According to him, your first kiss was right after you teo had been training all day.

You coudlt get the move down and you had been expressing your frustrationt o him. So, he offered to help you practice.

"I'll be great practive, you never know the size of your opponent so use this as a reference. Dont hold back." He insited, taking a stance as you breathe deeply.

You sprinted towards him, sliding between the bap he left between his legs. You were quick to put him in a chokehold, leaning back so that he would lose balance, and sure enough he did. You had managed to crawl from under him, positioning yourself atop him, your legs at either side of his waist as pride fills your face.

"I did it!" You celebrate, huffing in satisfaction before commigntot he realization of your current position.

"I-Wow okay sorry Reiner-" You apologize, hearing him chuckle a bit before sitting up on his forearms.

"Nah it's fine, i think i like this position though, nice work."

And before you could process the fact that your training crush had made a bit of a suggestive comment, his lips were already pressed quickly to your own.

------

Authors Note; UHHHH lemme know what all wanna see next my ask box is always open my luvs <3

[lizstcore]

Helga Sinclair x fem! reader

(part 1??)

this is literally my first time writing something and posting it,and it's not too good (+, English is not my first language).And nothing much happens,sorry 😭 . I can make a part 2 tho! Also,very ooc.

` When you accepted joining a mission on discovering the lost city of Atlantis and getting a bunch of money for simply doing what you know best,you couldn't be happier. Of course,you didn't expect to actually find living atlantians in there,but that's a story for another day. Now you were busy trying to get out of an active volcano.

"Milo!" you all desperately screamed,as the linguist tried to attach a crystallized Kida to our vehicle. You turned around in a hurry, wanting to see if there was anyone left. You felt your breath get stuck in your throat at the sight of the woman who betrayed you all,the cold hearted mercenary that was willing to wipe out an entire society for some money. The woman you unfortunately fell in love with, bleeding out in the crater of an active volcano that was about to erupt.

You stopped dead in your tracks, considering your options . In a moment of desperation,you jumped out of the vehicle,despite everyone telling you to get back and drive away. You ran to Helga as quickly as you could, struggling to pick her up over her shoulders. The blonde woman looked like she was trying to say something, presumably some snarky remark,but she only managed to let out a few painful sounding coughs and whimpers

Her eyes opened and widened momentarily, her face turned from an unreadable expression into a grimace. She was visibly uncomfortable, her teeth gritting painfully and her eyes closed in pain. She gave a sharp intake of air, which triggerd a deep, harsh cough. The red blood which stained her lips made her look almost demonic as she opend her eyes again and fixated your gaze for a moment. She did not appear to recognize you at first, but then the color began to slowly return to her face.

"Get me...out of here.. I'll be fine." she mumbled , trying to avoid your gaze

You immediately panicked and rushed to your vehicle, quickly pushing Helga inside while you put on your seat belt. Even as she laid hurt and half unconscious next to you,she was still very intimidating.

A few days passed by quickly,and everything was going pretty well. You and the crew returned from the Atlantis mission with more treasures than you've ever seen before,and an incredible discovery. While the others were busy trying to forget about everything Rourke did to the entire Atlantian civilisation,you spent most of your time in the hospital with Helga.

"I got you some stuff....check this out, it's an Atlantian dress! This would look beautiful on you!" you said excitedly, showing Helga the beautiful item of clothing. She scoffed and closed her eyes.

"Not my style. How long 'till I get out of this nightmare?" she asked, clearly done with everything that has happened in the past days

"A few days, don't worry... it's a miracle how you managed to survive that fall. The doctors are super shocked about your recovery." She chuckled,which was surprisingly attractive.

"I'm a tough gal,eh?...." she chuckled,then paused, looking like she wanted to ask something. Before she could open her mouth,you interrupted her.

"Yes,Rourke is dead. Yes, you're the one that finished him off,more or less" you smiled softly as you saw the corners of her mouth turn upwards. You haven't seen her actually smile in a while,it was a beautiful sight.

"Is that so?" she mumbled softly, clearly trying not to grin but failing miserably. Yeah,no one liked Rourke. You let your hand fall by your side,not noticing Helga's hand resting against the side of the hospital bed. Your hands brushed against eachother,and your touch starved ass immediately started sweating nervously. Yet no one moved.

"I...really like you, y'know... you're very strong. Emotionally and physically." you felt the urge to compliment her,and couldn't help yourself as you saw a literal goddess in front of you.

"Thank you,little girl" she smirked, teasing you.

"Hey now, I'm only a couple years younger!"

"Mhm..."

You couldn't help but look at the way her muscles flexed against the thin material of the hospital clothes. In fact,you looked so much you forgot you were even having a conversation with her.

"Getting quite distracted,I see. Just wait until I get out of here, sweetheart" she knew how much her teasing was affecting you,yet she continued. How awfully cruel... You felt your face getting red,and ignored your heart beating faster and faster.

You kept awkwardly chatting,until...

"They hate me, don't they?" Helga blurted out suddenly,as you bit you lip. She probably won't care less,so you decided to tell her the truth.

"They haven't forgiven you for betraying us... neither have I. You're lucky I get attached too easily. They got a bunch of treasures and valuable junk from Atlantis while I was busy getting Joshua to treat you...but I can't say I regret it" her emotions visibly changed all throughout your small explanation,but she finally looked at you with some sort of appreciation. She would never admit it though.

"If I knew you'd be here to annoy me all day before that motherfucker threw me out of the air balloon,I would've thrown myself" she joked with a smirk on her face. She was still cold... alright...you could work with it. It was getting pretty late,and you felt a bit nervous about sending more time with her. Even if you wanted to.

"I'll think I'll go home... goodbye,Helga. I really hope your recovering goes well."

The second the word "goodbye" came out of your mouth,she wanted to jump off the hospital bed and push you back on the chair (or in bed with her). She wasn't used to so much loneliness,she could usually get men at her feet whenever she wanted (either wanting to kiss her,or begging for help). Even if she did prefer being alone ,not having anyone to talk to was different. Especially if that someone was you. She hated it,but she was starting to get attached.

"... goodbye. You'll come visit,yes?" she asked trying to cover her nervous tone .You chuckled. Obviously you would.

"Yes."

[endenope]

I just finished Lycaon's Agent Quest and I have a question, ignore if you haven't done it yet! >~<

But it's been in my brain, and what if the vampire from Lycaon's past takes an interest in Wise (to get back at Lycaon mostly) and Lycaon has to protect him? I'm just curious on your take on this idea. Lycawise has taken over my brain.

i just finished his quest!!! im open to any rambling bc i have to say a lot too for sure AJKBSCJK

this immediately makes me think of sm stuff ooof. the vampire getting back at lycaon for his betrayal by taking wise (either by abducting/harming him to lure lycaon out and "reunite" or by showing up again and trying to get close to wise to "snatch" him away from lycaon

rambling utc

1 - if he gets abducted and harmed, lycaon would go through hell and back to get him back safely, ofc doing exactly what the vampire wanted. not only bc wise is his master whom he swore to protect but also bc hes his lover. i think he would struggle to keep his usual composure and cool and act more emotionally and rina and the others would stand by him to aid him and to make sure he doesnt lose his head - its dangerous and theyre in this together (idk if and how much they know abt lycaons past but if theyre not aware, theyre gonna learn abt it now and be still supportive and accepting of him, not thinking different of him) and they will do their utmost to save wise

2 - if he tries to snatch wise away to hurt lycaon, he would rlly play w fire. he knows lycaon and his aggressions too well from back then, knows exactly what buttons to push to have him lash out and even if he matured and calmed over all the years, having his territory invaded and what he longs for taken is exactly what would break this perfect, elegant composure. be it anger or fear

to prevent the latter, i think lycaon would be honest w wise and tell his thoughts abt the vampires intentions, always lingering close to him whenever his schedule allows and deal w it himself, not wanting wise to get involved to keep him safe (ofc hes stubborn and manages to get his way and not leave lycaon alone)

sorry for rambling, this is immediate thoughts and scenarios i had when reading this message. might prob not what u asked tho KJABSCJKBKJ

[kassuthehero]

my favorite riordan characters (just my opinion, don’t come at me)

Magnus Chase

I read MCGoA first (dont judge), so I have sentimental value over this series. I think magnus is literally so hilarious in a tired and confused way. It’s also so funny how Percy was so lost still like after 5 books but Magnus knows so much about the mythology already. Even after reading pjo i thought Magnus was way funnier and better main character than Percy. I think that was because Magnus is 16 in his series and Percy is just 12 in the lightning thief and I was already like 14-15 and liked more mature characters (Magnus is still a child and a dumbass). Magnus is also a very sad character if you think about it. He is basically an orphan bc his father wasn’t there and he witnessed his mothers death. Then he lived in the streets and was probably hungry, cold and scared almost every day. And then BOOM. Suddenly weird shit happens and he dies a gruesome death. Like seriously, a ball of melted asphalt burns through his body… He also never really had time to cope with the being dead thing bc suddenly he's supposed to save the world. Like wtf. Also I get the biggest gender envy ever (don’t ask why, he’s kinda pathetic xd). Best thing is that he’s fruity like I am. Magnus is also the healer so it is really interesting to get the healer's pov, a guy who isn’t your usual hero. Magnus also defeated LOKI, A GOD, with the power of friendship, which is hilarious. Magnus starts the show as a cynical boy who has lost everyone but by the end he has found a new family and moved on and I think that’s beautiful.

2. Will Solace

The absolute sass master. Of course Percy is still the sassiest ever but oh boy does Will come the next second. Will seriously takes no shit. I haven’t read his and Nico’s book yet but just from BoO and tHO I can say he has some balls. Like, one of the first things he does is calling Octavian, one of the biggest bad guys, an anemic loser. WHILE standing nose to nose with him. Like even Nico thought that Octavian was kinda scary but Will just marches right up to him and starts throwing insults. And then he proceeds to stubbornly make Nico rest and heal. He is so stubborn and bossy and I love him for it. Will also has a sadder side. He always puts everyone else before him bc he is the healer so it’s his job. He also was forced to be a leader way too young after he lost his older siblings. Still, he manages to walk around with a smile on his face. Will is so strong and his past is way overlooked. All the fans focus on Nico’s traumas and how Will helped him but never the other way around. Give Will some love, people.

3.Apollon (Lester Papadopoulos)

The most dramatic god ever, like omg. Apollo/Apollon has always been my favorite Greek god and Rick's version is just perfect. He is so annoyingly self centered and arrogant but at the same time he is so sad and vulnerable. I have never cried bc of Riordan's books but the hidden oracle made me sod like a baby. All the regret and pain in the stories about his lovers was heartbreaking. How his heart is stone bc he doesn’t believe in love anymore and how he takes responsibility for all the death he has caused. He is still an asshole but at least he notices it. I relate to him on such a deep level. He masks all his pain with humor and overconfidence just like I do. I haven't finished the trials of the Apollon yet but I can’t wait to read more of him and learn even more sad, funny and interesting things about him as a character.

4.Percy

Of course I have to include our best boy. During the HoO I just kept waiting for Percy’s POV just bc his thought process is the most entertaining in my opinion. He is so unhinged most of the time. Like, everyone is scared of Nico, no, you guys should be absolutely terrified by Percy. Like bro is so close to losing it. Few more inconveniences and he will kill everyone. but at the same time he likes eating blue food and doesn’t know half of the myths the others do. He just does what he feels like doing. My favorite moment was when he and Annabeth were in Tartarus and Percy was about to kill Akhlys by drowning her in her own poison. Like bro is insane. It’s also so sad that he and Annabeth have been in the front lines of war since they were like 12. It’s always them. Like there had to be other heroes right? Or like why couldn’t some minor god handle the situations? I have always loved characters who insult the enemy while fighting and Percy is just like that. At first, I didn't think he was any special but as he grew older, I started to like him more. Probably bc I could relate to him better when he was closer to my age. He also got more serious as he got older. I’m kinda pissed that he gets again a new series even tho Riordan has other characters that have potential. (I MEAN MAGNUS! LIKE PLEASE RICK! PLEASE!)

[sungbeam]

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒!

HEY !! HEY YOU, YEAH YOU!! remember to give these authors and the fics all the love they deserve! if u liked what u read, reblog it or comment or send in an ask !! cool, ty <3

a/n: hihi everyone! again, i wanted to extend my appreciation to all my fellow writers with this post (ik it's not a lot compared to how much all y'all do 😔), but if you'd like more fic recs, pls do check out my other blog @luv-beam!

**NOTE: lol 🤡 i do apologize if my bias(es) show per group !! i love every member of every group but some rot my brain a little more than others 🤧😭 i also haven't done a lot of reading lately ,,, this is an accumulation of like three months

NCT

his same, old, safe bet (jeong jaehyun) — @jaehunnyy

not finished just yet but it's off to a brilliant start !! we love yn's "bitch who r u" attitude toward jae lmaoo

swiper no swiping (lee donghyuck) — @/xosimo (linked my rb bc they deactivated 😭)

I WAS SWOOOOONING like omg hyuck is so attractive pls and just the unfolding of events and the build up? yes.

inevitable (na jaemin) — @korijime

dude the vibes r so immaculate in this piece, like the soft sort of atmosphere and the low-key confession style mwah

SVT

11:23pm (kwon soonyoung) — @xuhuihuis / @.maiademia

okay i admit i'm a little obsessed w this (maybe cuz it was my request so i must promote) but it was also written so well and hoshi is so nOm

love on the air (hong jisoo) — @suhnshinehaos

joshua hong 😔✨ ugh such a romantic,, both of them r two idiots in love but isn't that one of the best tropes?

pocket money (choi seungcheol) — @ethereal-engene

found this realistic in a good way!! cheol would be so cute all flustered and he *would* catch non-carat eyes too no doubt 👀👀

the way seventeen breaks your heart (performance unit) — @moonsolie

broke my heart </3 into seventeen+ pieces </3 if i love angst, then this was my ride or die

i less than three you (xu minghao) — @junshine (they deactivated unfortunately :( but i'll link my reblog!)

although op deactivated, pls do continue to read and enjoy their work :') it was so well written and i loved it so much

"i'm here. it's ok. you can cry. i've got you." (kwon soonyoung) — @holdinbacksecrets

comfort to the max ; i cannot tell u enough how much i loved this like ,, oh god i found this when i was not in a good spot and it just made me feel ,, seen?

order up (yoon jeonghan) — @leejungchans

my love for trickster jeonghan is thru the roof 😔😭 this was so so cute (and funny watching jeonghan not get the reaction he wanted skcjdj)

vernon heist au (chwe hansol) — @freakyfriedrice

i LOVED the uncharted movie and to be blessed with this au ?! like dream come true omg i loved this beyond words ; flustered vernon >>>>

TXT : i'm sorry txtblr i was and am in a beomgyu crisis.

nap of a star (choi beomgyu) — @blue-jisungs

omg literally mE WHEN?! (´Д⊂ヽ soft moment to the soundtrack of clownery, my favorite </3 u know u like them gyu õ_ó

8:55pm (choi beomgyu) — @4ure2

dUUDE the imagery in this one? i felt so many things, and this man goes and says this 😔 denial fr but sighs ,, that's love ig

balance game (choi beomgyu) — @yeonjunszn

low-key down bad for this trope, like /bruh/ u like ur best friend?? own it?? ; also this is funny asf even tho beomyn r lichrally dumbasses 🤕🤕

2:37am (choi beomgyu) — @ijhyo

now THIS was simply UNCALLED FOR my heart cannot take this like goodbye. this is all i want.

SKZ

king candy (han jisung) — @petrichor-han

how can i not put this hanji fic on here õ_ó READ IT, it's so cute and a holiday staple for me atp

poisoned fangs (kim seungmin) — @petrichor-han

i have so much to read from rain's m.list and i don't often read like horror-ish things? but i thoroughly enjoyed this one (i also have a weird thing for morbid reads 🤡)

probably up (bang chan) — @loveliestfelix

why we love christopher bang chan (´Д⊂ヽ ugh there was something so warm, mellow, and comfortable about this one and the ambiguity of potential lovers was also super refreshing

6:26pm (bang chan) — @daydreaminskz

i've actually never seen this kind of situation written before, and tbh i'm so here for it like the domesticity and chan being cute as always (i'm sorry but i might have laughed when he fell 😭💀)

10:43am (lee minho) — @cleyellow-wood

i honestly really love how this was written, like there was something abt op's style and the way lino was portrayed as well that hits the spot

tag, you're it (lee felix) — @loveliestfelix

read the warning so u aren't too surprised, but u will still need a box of tissues ; literally sHivers from this one

ENHA : lmao let's not talk abt my jungwon brainrot either 🤡

you're mine (yang jungwon) — @goldenhypen

em's stuff always makes me like 2489292x more delulu that's a fact like it's short but too sweet i 😔

bookmark (park jongseong) — @crystalsoobin

so so dang cute — even if he did call reader a nerd ig 🤕🤕

kisses nonstop (yang jungwon) — @goldenhypen

this woman posted this on my birthday as if it would not sHOOT ME THRU THE HEART ?!? LIKE U EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY AFTER THIS??

closer (yang jungwon) — @palajae

tbh read this during physics and i am not ashamed bc it was so cute and the pacing was mwah and oh god yANG JUNGWON (´Д⊂ヽ

ATZ

midnight kiss (kim hongjoong) — @i-write-some-stuff

i love whump aus part 28472993 OP U WROTE HONGJOONG SO WELL AND SO AHHHHH

11:54pm (choi san) — @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l

i will say this again and again but this lives in my brain rent free and i need to stalk crys' masterlists once i have the time 😔

june+july fic recs