#i haven't slept since friday night

[aninternetwindow]

Have you ever spaced out so bad that you are actively questioning if what just happened was real or not? and it's not even like a very crazy thing, like it can be a completely mundane experience that would make total sence for the situation you're in, but somehow you doubt it's existence.

[fridayyy-13th]

siiiiiigh.

[mikachacha]

𝙾𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜 (𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛! 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

Synopsis: Bada has a reputation for sleeping with her students that she likes. So when she asked you to stay back after class, you knew what that meant and you wouldn't say no to her offer.

Warnings: smut, totally nsfw, riding, choking, a bit of hair pulling. MDNI. R18+ only

(A/N: so this is from a req from my good friend @jhopes-whoopee-cushion who's unfortunately on leave or idk if they've got another account but yeah, this request is from last year 😅)

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One of the Girls

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✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛

"I heard she slept with Nika a week ago.."

"Really? I also heard she slept with Hana.."

Hushed whispers from students gossiping inside the studio greeted you as you entered. It's your first day being in this class and you're already hearing wild gossips about the instructor. Now, you haven't personally met your instructor, Bada Lee but if the rumors are true, she might be really good looking or good at what she does basing from the things you're hearing.

"I'd gladly have her ruin me.. She's so hot!" you heard a girl squeal out and some laughed. Since you didn't know anyone, you mostly kept to yourself until the instructor walked in. You looked at her, she's tall, she exudes both masculine and feminine energy at the same time that seems to drive most people wild. Well you could definitely see why so many people are going crazy over her. She's absolutely gorgeous and that gorgeous being just looked at you, gave you a smile and even winked at you. You could pass away happy right there and then if you were being honest.

"Good morning everyone! I see that everyone's here, especially our Y/N, the latest addition to our little group here. Why don't you stand up, Y/N and show us some moves?" Bada's voice rang through the spacious studio and you got up from where you were seated, bowing to everyone and saying thanks to the others who wished you luck.

Of course you didn't come unprepared so you asked Bada for a bit of help so you can connect your phone to the speakers to which she gladly helped. She's also curious about you. You looked quite confident as you stood there in front of everyone, ready to perform. To say that Bada was only mildly impressed is a huge lie. As soon as you began dancing Water, she knew she wanted you. She would stop at nothing to get a taste of you even just for a night. The way you moved hypnotized her, just watching you dance made a fire inside her burn.

After you were finished, the room erupted with cheers and applause and you were glad, smiling and thanking them. When Bada personally praised you, you couldn't help yourself but blush though you knew that you'll just end up like one of her girls. The others could also sense it and they kind of felt bad for you considering you're just a newbie and Bada has already set her eyes on you. On the other hand, they're also a bit jealous since they've been trying hard to get Bada's attention for so long but a newbie took her attention instead.

It went on for weeks, Bada blatantly flirting with you when she's not teaching. Of course, she still needs to keep it a bit professional but she just couldn't resist you. She thought you were easy but she didn't expect you to give her a run for her money when you played this little cat and mouse game with her. You'd lead her on and shoot her down, you'd give her hope that she might get a taste of you but then tell her you're just playing. If she's gonna make you like one of the girls she slept with, might as well play with her was your mindset the whole time. Of course you wouldn't deny the one and only Bada Lee if she wants to get a taste but only if you want.

"You're quite good at keeping me coming, Y/N.. So alluring, and so playful.." Bada whispers as it was only you and her left at the studio. Everyone has left already after the class considering that it's Friday and a very nice night to go and have a drink with friends. You would've done the same but you had other plans.

You turned to Bada, a sly smirk on your lips as you played with her hair. You're shorter than her though some would comment that you got her so wrapped around your finger and that you're the boss now. You wanted to test out that theory tonight.

"Oh? But I was barely doing anything.." you looked up at her, feigning innocence but both of you know that you're far from being one.

"You know my reputation, don't you? I'm curious as to why you're playing this game with me, Y/N.." Bada had pinned you against the wall, her lips just hovering above yours and waiting for you to tell her to stop and say that you're just messing with her but you didn't. You had a mischievous glint in your eyes and even initiated a kiss with her that stunned her a bit.

It was slow, sweet yet it also mixed the lust and desire that you have for each other. Today, you have decided to finally give in and be one of Bada's girls even just for a night. You don't care if she pursues someone else right after. You just want to have a taste and the feel of Bada fucking you like how she fucked those other girls before you.

"I'm completely aware and Bada, I could hardly give a shit if I'm just a game to you. Someone you could toy with until you get what you want and discard right after. I don't give a fuck about all those things. What I care about right now is you, fucking me and making me one of your girls.." your bold statement shocked Bada but she'd be a fool to deny you. You're literally telling her that you want her the same way she wants you.

"Yeah? You want to be fucked, Y/N? So pretty yet so filthy.." Bada chuckles and pulled on your hair, tilting your head back so she can have easier access to your neck. She placed kisses there before giving you a small nip which stung a bit but also turned you on so much. You couldn't wait to feel more.

It didn't take long for Bada to take you home. Both of you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves as the anticipation is becoming too much. You just wanted her to take you right there and then in the living room but Bada managed to usher you inside her bedroom, where the real fun started.

Her kisses felt like tiny bolts of electricity coursing through you while her long fingers pumped in and out of you, playing and preparing you for what's about to come. Her mouth trailed south, kissing and suckling on your breasts that got you gasping for air and arching your back for more. It was so good. It felt too good to stop and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your orgasm. Just as you were about to reach your peak, Bada stopped and pulled her fingers out, placing them in your mouth and letting you have a taste of your own juices.

When she was done lapping up each and every drop, she lets you recover and grab the strap on from her drawer. You looked at the size of it, it was fairly big and when Bada asked you to ride her, you could've sworn you got wetter. You climbed on Bada's lap, straddling her while she slowly guided you down to the strap on waiting below. It went in smoothly as Bada did add enough lube so you wouldn't hurt yourself and you appreciate the care she's put into this intimate moment.

"Look at you, pretty girl.. So good taking it all down like a champ.." Bada praises that got you blushing madly as you started to bounce up and down, riding her with the best that you can. It was pretty hard keeping your rhythm as the pleasure began to take over your senses as every time you came down, the tip would hit all the right places that makes you see stars and your knees to quiver.

"Fuck.. Bada.. Feels so good!" you moaned out as she held you by the waist and began to control your speed. And the way she would thrust her hips to meet yours just made your moans louder and more pleasure build up until you couldn't hold in your orgasm much longer. You came while Bada continued to fuck into you, prolonging your pleasure.

"That's right, baby.. Moan for me.. You're so pretty when you moan my name as you cum. Makes me want to do it more and more.." Bada says as she lightly choked you while you continued to bounce up and down. You couldn't form a coherent thought or could even remember when Bada has flipped you on to your hands and knees and began fucking you from behind. Every thrust made you see stars, your knees are weak from all the sensation you're feeling but Bada's holding you by the waist. The position made her go even deeper and reach places that you never knew felt good and Bada's making sure to let you know that only she touched those areas and basically ruining you for other men and women alike.

"Bada! Bada.. Fuck.. I'm gonna cum!" you moaned out, your knuckles going white from how hard you were gripping the sheets beneath you and Bada only responded by pulling on your hair, forcing you to rise until your back was against her chest. She placed kisses along your neck and even placed some bites along the way. You could hardly care especially when your third orgasm rolled it. It was the third and strongest one of all three that it knocked the air out of your lungs and you could swear that you passed out for a few seconds from how good that was.

Bada lets you calm down and regain your breath before she pulls out and sets you down gently. She leaned against the headboard of her bed, playing with herself as she watches how fucked you currently looked. It was a proud moment for her seeing you looking to dazed, seeing those marks she made on you and how your legs quivered from all the orgasm she gave you.

Seeing that she was playing with herself, you crawled between her legs and began to help her reach her own orgasm. You suckled on her breasts while your thumb fiddled with her clit. You matched the pace of her fingers and soon, Bada was reaching her own climax. She flashes you a smile before pulling you in for a sweet kiss, a complete opposite of her kisses from earlier.

"You're so great, Y/N.. I hope this isn't just a one time thing for us." Bada says as you were snuggled against each other. You turned to her, kissing her cheek.

"From how many times you've made me cum, I sure hope this isn't a one time thing. You fucked my brains out and I would love to experience that again.." You said and Bada could only chuckle, nodding her head. You may be one of her girls now but you sure are her favorite among them.

[burntheedges]

Maintenance Request: Chapter 10

Joel Miller x f!reader | new chapter every Friday 18+ | ao3 | main post & chapter list chapter word count: 5k

chapter summary: so you texted Joel back, but you haven't really talked since you saw him across the quad on Friday. what's going to happen at work on Monday? a/n: thank you as always to @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta 💕  chapter tags/warnings: angst, misunderstandings, fluff, flirting, kissing, full tags and notes about reader on main post, pet names (new ones: honey, baby)

Chapter 10

Monday, October 21 Ninth week of the semester

On Monday morning you were flustered and nervous before you even left your house. You’d barely slept, tossing and turning all night because you couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation that awaited you. You knew Joel would seek you out, and you knew you’d been short with him over text. 

You knew you might be assuming the worst, but every time you tried to talk yourself out of it you heard his voice again — placating you, convincing you that you were seeing things. Telling you not to worry. He spent two years training you to second guess yourself and even now, five years out of that relationship with a lot of therapy behind you, it was hard to push the voice away.

You ended up having to rush out of the door after uselessly dithering over your worries and your outfit. You were almost late, again. You tried to put it all aside as you walked from your garage to your building that morning, taking deep breaths in time with your steps. Joel isn’t like Matt. They have nothing in common. The idea was reassuring on its face, but didn’t really help. You tried to focus on getting to your office and the work you needed to do that you’d accidentally left behind on Friday in your haste to get away from campus.

As you entered the quad and your building came into view, you realized something was wrong. There was a large group of men in hard hats milling around outside, and they had roped off your building at a distance of about 15 feet. You felt your heart rate pick up. What now?

As you approached the building, you noticed a familiar set of shoulders. Joel was standing on the outside of the crowd, arms crossed, brows furrowed. He wasn’t in a vest or hardhat this time. And the same woman from Friday, the one you were so worried about — she was standing right next to him. Your breath caught in your throat as you froze.

You needed to get closer to see what was going on, and at the same time, you needed to get as far away from here as possible. The warring impulses pinned you in place on the path. You tried to breathe and decide what to do but your brain felt like it was static — white noise and nothing else.

Just as you managed to shift your weight, Joel noticed you. He looked, well… Joel was always happy to see you, you realized in that moment. Always smiling, chin up, shoulders relaxed. But right then he looked apprehensive, too. You knew that was probably your fault, but that voice in your head that sounded like Matt told you maybe it was because he was caught, and he knew it. You shook it away and took a deep breath before closing the distance between you and him. Joel met you in the middle.

“Mornin’, darlin’, I’m sorry about all this—” A loud BANG from your building interrupted him and your eyes widened as a plume of smoke seemed to erupt from the roof. 

“Joel, what—” you gulped. “What’s going on?” He reached out to put his hand on your elbow, but you stepped away. The look on his face as you pulled away from him hurt — it was disappointment and worry and rejection, all at once. It hit you like a punch to the stomach but you steeled yourself against it. “I have to get in there, Joel! I need—” BANG. The sound interrupted you again. You winced.

Joel was shaking his head when you looked back to meet his gaze. “You can’t go in right now, I’m sorry. There’s an issue with the ventilation and the gas line, they’re tryin’ to get it cleaned up. Mostly done now but it hasn’t been cleared yet.”

You felt dizzy. Joel was looking at you like you’d broken his heart just by stepping away from him a moment before, and the woman whose mere presence had set off all of your insecurities was standing just five feet away, watching the entire painful interaction. You took in a shaky breath and realized you felt tears gathering at the back of your eyes. No, you refuse to cry. Not here. 

“Joel, I— I have to get in there! I have class in less than half an hour, everything I need is in my office. What—” you realized you were panicking and tried to take a deep breath. You knew, somewhere in the back of your mind, that you could handle class without getting to your office. But this was just one more thing on top of all of the stress you’d felt all weekend, and it was one too many. Your pitch rose as you babbled and you knew your hands were shaking. 

Joel watched you, and you saw him start to reach out before cutting off the movement. He curled his hand into a fist at his side and his jaw set as he seemed to come to a decision. 

“What is it that you need?” Something about the intensity of his gaze compelled you to answer his question.

“Just— just the papers I left by my keyboard. But Joel—” you opened your mouth to say it wasn’t that important, you were just stressed, it would be fine, but he had already turned. “Joel, wait!”

He waved his arm back at you, yelling that he’d be back, and disappeared into the crowd. “Shit.” You cursed and closed your eyes, tilting your head back. 

You heard the woman, who was still standing next to you, clear her throat.

“So, I’m Tess.” You opened your eyes to see her holding her right hand out to you with an amused look on her face. “You must be the gorgeous professor who doesn’t hate Joel’s guts. At least, he thought you didn’t.” She quirked an eyebrow at you and you blinked in surprise.

“I, um—” you realized you were leaving her hanging and reached your hand out to shake hers. “He did say that was me… yes.” You felt unmoored by this sudden friendly conversation. You realized she’d probably just watched that entire interaction you’d had with Joel.

Tess seemed to consider you, tilting her head to the side, taking you in. Suddenly her eyebrows rose and she smiled. “Joel’s my best friend. Has been for about 10, 15 years now.” 

You blinked at her, perplexed. “What?”

She put her hands on her hips and sighed. “Look, I’m just going to be direct. I’m getting the feeling you got a different impression of my relationship with Joel, when we saw you on Friday. So you know, just letting you know. He’s like my annoying older brother.” She raised her eyebrows at you, waiting for you to get it. 

Shit. 

You suddenly sucked in a deep breath and then laughed, a little hysterically. “Shit.” You said it  out loud this time. “I—“ you shook your head, glad Tess was still smiling at you. “I’m such an idiot. I just—” you wiped your hands down your face and sighed. “I don’t want you to think I thought he was that kind of guy. This… it just reminded me of an, um, issue from my past. And I guess I overreacted. But I knew it wasn’t like him, even without, um. Knowing him that well, I guess. I was going to try to talk to him today.” You were rambling, and you knew it. You weren’t sure why you were explaining it to her, other than just not wanting her to think badly of you. His best friend. Shit.

She nodded. “I figured. From the way he’s been talking about you, I knew you were… well. Sounded like the two of you were on the same page.” You nodded. “He’s in pretty deep already, you know.”

“Yeah, I just… just got all in my head about it, I guess. I’ll, um. I’ll talk to him about it, like I said. Explain myself.” You cleared your throat nervously. “I’m, um. I’m in pretty deep, too.” Tess smiled in response, clearly amused. 

Any further conversation was interrupted by Joel shouting your name from closer to the building. You looked up to see him jogging towards you, holding a familiar stack of papers up in his left hand. He was smiling at you, expression hesitant but full of hope. Your breath caught. 

He came to a stop right in front of you, and held the papers out to you. You felt stunned. You looked down at them, but made no move to take them before looking back up to meet his eyes. His smile started to fade the longer you stood there and he looked even more unsure. You could see his face starting to close off to you. You couldn’t stand it.

“I thought you were dating Tess.” The words tumbled out of you before you could stop them, needing to do or say anything you could to stop him looking at you like that. He blinked, and his mouth dropped open. You heard Tess snort from somewhere to your left, but you couldn’t look away from Joel.

“You—” he started, and seemed to work his jaw, looking for the words. “Ah, no, darlin’. I’m not.” 

You nodded, faintly. “I know. She told me.”

“I, um—” Joel thrust the papers towards you again. “I grabbed your papers for you.” You took them this time, almost on autopilot, looking down at them in your hands. You paused, for a moment too long, before looking back up at him. His expression had fallen even further and your heart clenched in your chest. “Darlin’, I’m not sure what happened, but I’m real so—”

This was too much. You sprang into motion, and he cut himself off to watch as you stuffed the papers in your bag, unthinking, and dropped it right there on the ground. Threw it down, really. He watched you with a perplexed look on his face.

“You’re not dating Tess.” He shook his head, still confused. Eyed your bag where it landed on the ground, looking like maybe he wanted to pick it up for you. You stepped closer to him.

“And you just ran inside the building to grab these papers for me. Which weren’t even that important.” In pretty deep. You heard Tess’ words echo again in your head.

Joel blushed. “Darlin’, I—”

You didn’t let him finish. You reached out, hands still a bit shaky, and grasped the front of his plaid shirt. Before he could react, you hauled him forward and leaned in to meet his lips with your own. Hard. 

You heard and felt Joel breathe in through his nose in surprise, and for a moment neither of you moved — you were frozen, eyes closed, your lips pressed together, no other point of contact except your hands clutching his shirt. You started to wonder if you had it all wrong, after all, if maybe he didn’t—

And then Joel seemed to burst into motion. His hands slid around your shoulders and back, bringing you closer and holding you against him. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, and suddenly you weren’t aware of anything else, not anymore. Nothing but the way he held you in his arms and the way he stole your breath, moving his lips softly against yours.

You weren’t sure how long the kiss had lasted — it could have been 10 seconds or 10 minutes — when Tess cleared her throat and you stumbled back from each other in surprise. Joel’s right hand stayed huge and warm on your hip as you stared at each other. His hair was tousled — did you do that? — and his lips were swollen and red. Your eyes locked on to them, unable to look anywhere else. You watched as he smiled, all hesitance and uncertainty gone from his expression.

“I believe one of you needs to go teach, and the other needs to go oversee what’s going on with the building.” Tess sounded a bit smug. You blinked. 

“Shit!” You exclaimed, again. “What time is it?” You finally turned your eyes from Joel, but didn’t step away. 

Tess rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling. “You have five minutes, teach. Better get going.” You nodded.

When you turned back to Joel, you found he was still looking at you. “I have to go, I have class but Joel, later? We’ll talk?” You smiled, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, and raised your hand to touch his shoulder again. He nodded. His gaze held you in place like you were magnetized.

“Ahem.” Tess was really laughing at the two of you now. 

“Right! Ok, I’m going.” You bent down to gather your bag, wincing as you got a look at the mess it had become inside. Joel’s hand finally fell from your hip and you felt the loss of its warmth. “Later?”

He nodded and spoke for the first time since you’d kissed him. His voice was even deeper than usual and it rumbled over you, sending a shiver down your spine. “You can count on it, darlin’.” 

You took a few steps backwards, eyes locked on Joel’s, before turning. “It was nice to meet you, Tess!” She called back the same, and then as you started to walk faster to get to your class, you heard her start to tease him.

“Hates your guts, huh?”

“Can it.” His sarcastic tone and her laughter was the last thing you heard as you turned the corner and started to jog towards your building. You grinned, feeling lighter than you had in days. 

…

You floated through your class like you had no worries in the world — aside from the stack of assignments stuffed in your bag that you hadn’t actually been able to grade. Your students didn’t seem concerned, but they did notice your ridiculously good mood. You shrugged it off. “The coffee’s just good today, I guess.” A couple of them smiled, a couple of them groaned. That was about right.

By the time you made it back to your building, whatever the issue was had been cleared up and the crowd of hard hats was gone. You felt a twinge of disappointment, knowing Joel probably had other things to do across campus, but shook your head. He’d come find you later. He’d promised.

You finally made it to your office and started to unpack your bag at your desk, glancing around to see if anything was amiss, but no. Everything was in place aside from the stack of papers you returned to the desk from your bag, a bit crumpled after all the manhandling they had endured. You sat to get started on grading — you had a while before your office hours and afternoon class — when there was a knock at your door.

Your eyes snapped up to the edge of the door where it was slightly open. “Come in!” You called, and your breath caught as a familiar hand came into view, wrapping around the edge of the door to push it open. You stood up almost before you even realized you were moving.

Joel came into view, and for a moment the two of you just stared at each other — you, standing at your desk, one hand still on your mouse, the other gripping the edge in front of you. Joel, standing just inside of your door, hand holding the frame so tight his knuckles turned white. He looked more handsome than ever.

“Darlin’, I—”

“Joel! You—”

You started to talk at the same time, and then both of you laughed. Your smiles broke the tension and you moved forward around your desk. He closed the door and met you in between the visitor chairs, hands coming up to lightly hold your own. “Hey there, gorgeous.” He greeted you with the half smile that always made you feel lighter. “Fancy meeting you here.” You laughed, and squeezed his hands in yours to pull him even closer as you leaned back to prop yourself against your desk. 

You bit your lip as you took him in. “Long time no see.” 

He leaned in and hummed in response. He placed his lips so close to your ear you could feel his breath, and murmured, “I don’t want to let another moment pass with any misunderstandings, darlin’, so let’s get a couple things straight.” He ghosted his lips against your hairline in a soft kiss. “The only person I want to date is you. I’m sorry you doubted that, even for a second.” 

You shook your head. “No, Joel, it’s not your fault. I saw something and let my mind run away with me, I didn’t even talk to you about it. I, um, well—” He kissed you again, just in front of your ear, and you sighed and tilted your head to give him better access. It bolstered you when he took the invitation as it was intended and kissed you again, softly, on the cheek. “I had a… bad experience. With an ex. I reacted based on that, not because of anything you did. I don’t want you thinking this was your fault at all, I—”

“Shh,” he hushed you softly and met your eyes. “I understand. You don’t have to tell me about it right now, it’s ok.” He leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead and the tenderness in the gesture made your breath catch. You squeezed his hands even tighter, suddenly feeling like you might cry with relief. “I was so worried you’d changed your mind. I was determined to fix it, whatever it was I’d done. But I didn’t want to push, ’n I wanted to wait until I saw you in person, ‘stead of trying to hash it out in text messages.”

You shook your head, and smiled at your past self and how much you’d let yourself spiral over the weekend. “Ellie and Beth both told me I was being silly, spiraling for no reason without talking to you. But it really was a reaction from my past, Joel. I mean…” you trailed off, and he caught your eye, encouraging you to continue. “The only reason I was so upset is because of how much I like you.” You bit your lip, and it drew his eyes like a magnet.

“Darlin’, I was stewin’ all weekend, worried you might not let me take you out anymore. You got no idea how much I like you.” You smiled and buried your face in the collar of his flannel shirt. Joel took the opportunity to release your hands and slide his own across your back, pulling you close. You felt their path across your body like a brand. “Pretty glad you kissed me this morning, too. Been wanting to hold you like this.”

“Oh?”

He hummed, and slid one hand up to cup the back of your neck, where you marveled at its size. The other found a new home on your lower back. “Been trying to take it slow, gorgeous.” You smiled into his neck and wrapped your own arms around his waist before lifting your chin and pressing a soft kiss there, just inside his collar.

Joel groaned and let his forehead fall to your shoulder. “We’re still on for Friday, right?” He mumbled into your neck, pressing his own gentle kisses up higher and higher until you could feel his breath on your ear again. 

“Yes, Joel,” you breathed, sinking into the feeling of being in his arms and feeling his lips on your skin. “You gonna kiss me again?” You teased him, pressing a kiss just below his jawline. He smirked against your neck. 

“I am kissin’ you, darlin’,” he punctuated his statement with a soft kiss just behind your ear. You pulled back.

“You know what I mean, Joel Miller.” You realized at some point in the last few minutes you’d perched up on the very edge of your desk and he’d pressed forward into the open space between your knees. You weren’t quite pressed together, but you were close. 

“You want me to kiss you, honey?” The new endearment slipped right down your spine and settled there at the base like a warm ember. You pulled him closer and brought your lips a hair’s breadth away from his. 

“Thought I made that pretty clear on the sidewalk earlier.” He laughed, and you felt it against your own lips like a caress. 

“That you did. You know how much ribbing I got for that later?”

It was your turn to laugh, picturing the other guys giving him a hard time. “Oh? What’d they say?” 

He shook his head and hummed. “I’ve been encouraged to get a room, but also congratulated on punching so far above my weight class.” You scoffed while he smiled at you.

“Do I need to remind you of your nickname? Hot Construction Guy?” You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Baby, whatever I am, I don’t hold a candle to you.”

Before you could protest — Joel was the most attractive man you’d ever seen, after all, and it wasn’t even close — he leaned forward and kissed you again.

It was even better this time.

You were more present — less frazzled, less confused, less stressed — and you sank smoothly into his kiss. He pressed his lips against yours with intent, with gentle passion that immediately sank its hooks in you and latched on tight. His lips were soft and pliant against yours and the sensation awakened something in you that felt heady and deep.

You wanted more.

Joel stepped closer, bringing himself flush against you. You sighed into his mouth. He teased you with his tongue against your lower lip before deepening the kiss, tongue sliding against your own.

You took your own opportune moment to place both of your hands in his back pockets and squeeze. Joel moaned, softly, and it was the best sound you’d ever heard.

You could feel your own interest and arousal growing. But then he softened the kiss, pressing his lips against your own once, twice, three more times, before putting a little bit of space between your mouths.

“Better stop before we get too carried away, honey.” You whined softly in response without realizing you were going to do it, and you felt your cheeks heat. He kissed you softly on the left one. “M’not opposed to office sex in theory, darlin’, but I want our first time to be in a bed. And I definitely want to take you out first.” You sighed and nodded, agreeing. Even as the mental image of office sex threatened to send you spiraling into a daydream, no matter what you’d said to Beth before. Joel wouldn’t have a hard time convincing you, you could tell. 

“Me too, Joel.” You kissed the edge of his jaw again and felt him smile. For a moment the two of you just sank into a tighter embrace. His hug was already something you didn’t want to do without — it was warm and soft and comforting. He was so broad, and his hands were huge. It was the best feeling, being held by Joel.

“I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you again.” You squeezed him around the waist as you said it, and he pressed his lips to the spot where your neck met your shoulder. 

“Couldn’t stay away if I tried, darlin’. Only barely made myself go back to my office, instead of waiting for you here during your class.” You laughed into his shirt. 

He smiled against your neck again. “Let’s have lunch today. And tomorrow. Everyday this week, even, except Wednesday when I got a damn meeting.” He grumbled that last part. You shook your head a little. 

“And I have one on Thursday. But I want to see you anyway. Wish our date was today.”

Joel leaned back to catch your eye. “If it wasn’t a school night, it would be.”

“Oh!” You couldn’t believe you didn’t ask before. “Is Sarah… I mean, I guess she probably noticed we weren’t… I hope she isn’t mad. At me. For leaving you hanging all weekend.”

Joel shook his head. “Mostly no. She’s just protective of me, no reason to be worried. She noticed I was a bit down, tried to reassure me that I hadn’t done anything, just had to talk to you. But I think she didn’t really know what to think, since I didn’t either.” You closed your eyes, worried now, too. “I’ll tell her what happened tonight.”

“Tell her I said it wasn’t about you, Joel, because it wasn’t. I know enough to know you’re a good man. I even said so to Ellie and Beth on Saturday.” 

He smiled at you, soft. “And I know enough about you to know you’re too kind to not explain it.” He brought one hand up to cup your face. “I’m just glad we worked it out so fast and I got to kiss you today. Got no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Oh?” You pulled your arms in so you could run your hands up his chest and then tangle them in his hair. “How long is that?”

Joel ducked his head, looking sheepish. “Well, just in terms of thinking you were beautiful, from that first day I saw you on the bench in the Secret Garden. But the real answer is that day when you spilled coffee on yourself. I wanted so badly for you to like me, and there you were, gorgeous and magnificent and angry.”

You groaned and dropped your face onto his chest again. “M’sorry I was such a hateful asshole.” Your voice was muffled in his shirt. You felt Joel rest his cheek against the top of your head. 

“It’s ok, honey. You don’t need to keep apologizin’ for it. I really was poppin’ up at the worst moments, over and over again. Was startin’ to worry about it, myself. Thought maybe I was cursed.” You nodded and laughed against his shirt. “Was worried I’d never get the chance to see if this would have gone anywhere. Even if you are gorgeous when you’re mad.”

You shook your head, and tilted it back to meet his eyes. “Even when I was pissed in the moment I was smart enough to see what a catch you are.” 

He snorted and shook his head. “A catch, huh?”

“I’ll say it until you believe it, Joel Miller. You are the hottest man I have ever seen.” He started to scoff, but stopped himself, looking shy. “I mean it. Have you seen your shoulders? Your eyes? And your hands? And you’re kind, and funny. And smart. And a good dad.”

Joel hid his face in your shoulder again before you could really take in his blush. He pressed his lips lightly up the side of your neck. You sighed. “I thought we were stopping.”

“We are,” he murmured in response. He reached up with his right hand to cup your jaw. “Just one more kiss, baby. Gotta kiss you, after you said all those nice things.”

You sank into him again, already wondering how you were going to make it to Friday.

…

bestie (11:45 AM): WHAT (11:46 AM): are you telling me you kissed HCG in front of god and everybody on campus and I MISSED IT

you (11:47 AM): you snooze you lose

bestie (11:48 AM): I can’t believe you (11:48 AM): was it any good

you (11:48 AM): 🥰 (11:49 AM): I think I’m floating. it’s like some sort of Hallmark romcom in here

bestie (11:50 AM): shit, what am I saying (11:50 AM): of course it was (11:51 AM): I’m surprised he didn’t just jump into your pants right there in your office

you (11:52 AM): we might have honestly but he stopped. wants to wait for our date

bestie (11:53 AM): UGH (11:53 AM): anyway, I’m glad we were right and he’s not an asshole after all (11:54 AM): did you explain

you (11:56 AM): yes (11:56 AM): not about Matt, exactly (11:57 AM): just that I had a… bad relationship

bestie (12:01 PM): understatement of the year (12:01 PM): that makes sense. it’s a lot to unload

you (12:02 PM): yeah. we have time

bestie (12:03 PM): oooh you have tiiiiime

you (12:03 PM): can it

bestie (12:04 PM): you love me

…

Ellie (4:37 PM): i can’t believe you kissed him!! in public!! (4:37 PM): like what (4:38 PM): who even are you 

you (4:39 PM): thanks 

(4:39 PM): 🙄

Ellie (4:41 PM): I don’t want any details ever but 

you (4:49 PM): … but what 

Ellie (4:53 PM): I’m trying to figure out how to ask about it without having to hear any details about my aunt making out with a guy 😒

you (4:55 PM): 😂 I’ll just say it was good and we’re still going out Friday

Ellie (4:57 PM): gross (4:57 PM): but also that’s good I guess (4:58 PM): i’m glad we were right and he’s not an asshole (4:58 PM): so I don’t have to fight him ���

you (4:59 PM): same, honestly

Ellie (5:01 PM): hey, people like us!! even though we’re us! wild

you (5:02 PM): guess we’re not totally off putting 

Ellie (5:02 PM): speak for yourself 

you (5:03 PM): wow rude 

…

Joel (4:38 PM): Can’t wait to see you tomorrow, darlin. (4:39 PM): I might still be thinking about those kisses.

you (4:41 PM): oh yeah? well you might not be the only one

Joel (4:45 PM): That right?

you (4:46 PM): guess you’ll have to find out tomorrow

Joel (4:48 PM): oh?

you (4:51 PM): what do you think about having lunch in my office? you know. for privacy

Joel (4:53 PM): Honey, that is the best idea I’ve heard all week. 

you (4:54 PM): see you then, handsome 💕

Joel (4:58 PM): Count on it, gorgeous.

...

a/n: they did it!! prev | next

taglist: @jupiter-soups @ilovepedro @auteurdelabre @katareyoudrilling @anoverwhelmingdin @myloveistoolittle @iknowisoundcrazy @beezusvreeland @screechingphantommaker @bigboiseason123 @joelalorian @untamedheart81 @jeewrites

[winterspiderpurrs]

Bucky was just exiting the debrief room after returning from a mission with Sam when he spotted Tony and Steve talking to each other. They were both looking at what Bucky recalls is an ipad, swiping images across the screen. Steve nodded along as Tony rattled on. Tony glances up when he enters the room and waves him over.

" First, I'm still going to do what I want. But what do you think of Peter getting his own place?"

Bucky blinks, looks at Steve, and then back at Tony.

" He likes living with May for the most part. He already has an apartment you set up for him in the tower, as well as a room at the compound and your lake house. Plus, if he isn't there, he visits Ned"

Steve nods and points to the ipad,

" and he seems like a fella who wouldn't want you to buy him a duplex. In Queens or not."

" He is in college. He needs privacy, especially with the Spideymonkey gig he still insisted on doing."

Steve and Bucky move to look at each other. They know what Tony isn't saying. That Peter needs a place he could bring someone back to.

" Just talk to the guy and see if he wants that."

Steve squints for a moment at Bucky when he says that.

**RING RIIINNNNGGGG RIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG**

Bucky pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks at the screen. It's Peter calling.

Tony, being Tony, looks over and notices as well who is calling. It doesn't even pass through his mind why Peter would be calling Bucky.

" Oh hey, let me talk to him," states Tony and he reaches for the phone.

Bucky was already in the process of answering and was moving the phone out of reach. In those few moments, the phone accidentally went to speaker mode.

" No hey its my phone."

" Just let me see it I paid for it"

Bucky ends up clenching the phone too hard in his metal hand and ends up muting the phone, but the speaker is still on.

Peter's voice comes through.

" Hello? That's some weird voice-mail message you got there. I'll help you set up a good one later. Anyway, you're probably in your debrief still. " heavy sigh could be heard, and the faint breeze of Peter probably swinging on his webs.

" I'm just now done with patrol. I've had a shit day of finals, and I smell like a dumpster cause I fell into a dumpster after I got stabbed. "

There was a pause before he quickly said," but don't worry, it's already healed, but yeah shitty night. I haven't slept since yesterday. So I'm gonna be exhausted when you get in. But I ordered some chinese for us, swinging to pick it up now, but it should still be warm by the time you get home. I apologize in advance if I have already passed out in bed when you get in. But I promise you amazing welcome back home morning sex. And I'll fix those waffles you like. But remember we are going to May's later for Passover since we couldn't yesterday. On Friday, we were invited over to the XMansion to celebrate there unless something else doesn't come up. But yeah, I'm rambling."

He sighs a little." I missed you. I'll see you at home in a bit. Love you, " you hear some rustling." Hey Miss Jenny, " "I got you extra egg rolls. " " Aweso-" the phone hangs up.

Everyone is staring down at the phone before Steve and Tony turn to look at Bucky.

Tony had no clue when Peter and Bucky would have gotten together and is now trying to piece together instances that should have stood out.

Steve, though, he was starting the suspect for a while now. The few times he visited Bucky's apartment, he noticed differences. The apartment seemed lived in compared to before. House plants, a video game console, a vast collection of movies that showed up on bookcases along with more photos and just more personal touches.

"Well. Looks like I need to get home. Don't call me"

Bucky tucks the broken phone back in his pocket before he quickly leaves.

Steve eyes Tony warily.

" But... no. When did the terminator get with my kid?"

"He isn't a kid anymore he is 22"

" Zip it, capsicle! "

[jenniferjareauwife]

JJ’s teenage daughter having nightmare after the events or ‘200’ and she just eventually gives up on the idea of sleeping whatsoever and JJ finds out about this and tries to help her. <3

Nightmares

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: nightmares

word count: 917

age: 15

summary: you're having nightmares after your mom was kidnapped so you give up on sleeping altogether but she finds out and helps you

I caught my breath as I woke up again, another nightmare. The 18th one the past two weeks. I was sick of it. Once I had one it was impossible for me to fall back asleep. Dreams of my mom dying in the hospital or her being tortured played in my mind on repeat and my sleeping mind didn't give me any relief either. "Hon?" I heard my mom from down the hall and I sighed, knowing how tired I was making her. She always woke up whenever I had a nightmare. It was a mom's sixth sense or something. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." I rubbed my eyes and sat up. She opened the door and quietly made her way over to my bed.

"You ok?"

"Mhm." She laid down next to me, getting herself under my covers like she always did whenever I had a nightmare. Ever since I was little she would always come in and cuddle until I fell back asleep and then stay with me the rest of the night to make sure I was ok. "I'm fine mom, you don't have to stay."

"But you had a nightmare."

"And I'm 15, I can handle myself." I sighed but tucked myself under her arm anyways. This would be the last time I woke her up, the nightmares were getting tiring and what was the point of sleeping? A little sleep derivation never hurt anyone.

Two weeks had passed and I hadn't slept at all except for a few hour long naps here and there when my mom wasn't home. I set a timer on my phone to make sure that if I fell asleep I would wake up before I had a nightmare. "Baby I got the pizza!" My mom walked through the front door with her keys in her mouth, holding a large pizza in her arms.

"Thanks mom." I smiled, feeling my eyes burn a bit from the lack of sleep.

"Of course. Friday is our pizza night." She set the pizza down on the counter before pulling me into a side hug. My head rested on her shoulder and it was so comfy that I almost fell asleep. When she pulled away from the hug I let out a low whine. "What's wrong?"

"Hm?"

"You whined. What's wrong?" She put a slice on her plate before sitting down.

"Nothing." She frowned but didn't say anything else.

"You look tired. Why don't you go to sleep early tonight-"

"I have too much homework and I have to get up early for school."

"You're allowed to take a break." She said softly. "I mean...you've been through a lot."

"You've been through more."

"Yeah but you're my daughter. What happens to me happens to you. Especially with how close we are." She rubbed my back and I frowned, feeling guilty for basically punishing myself for something she went through. "Now what's up? I know that face."

"I...I haven't been able to sleep lately." I mumbled.

"Oh...I thought you weren't getting nightmares anymore, I thought it was getting better."

"No...I just stopped sleeping." I admitted.

"Oh baby. You know that's not good for you, right?" Her voice softened.

"I know...I'm sorry."

"Shh. No apologies. Just finish your dinner and then we can go to bed, ok?"

"No. No if I go to bed then I'll have nightmares and I'll see you dying or getting tortured-"

"Baby I'll sleep with you, ok? You might have nightmares but I'll be right there, ok? I'll be with you the whole time."

"But-"

"You need to sleep, and that's final." She put her hand over mine, squeezing it gently. "It's ok. I'll be with you the whole time." I felt my whole body relax just thinking about getting a good nights rest.

"Mom?" My lip trembled.

"Yeah?"

"I really need some sleep." She smiled, her eyes softening.

"Then let's go to bed, ok?" I nodded and held her hand as we walked upstairs. I flopped down on her bed, not caring about changing or brushing my teeth. I just wanted a good sleep with my mom.

"Mom come here." I groaned.

"I have to brush my teeth baby."

"But I want you now."

"I'll be there-"

"Mom I need you." I whined. She sighed and came over to me, forgetting what she was gonna do as soon as she crawled into bed next to me. "I'm scared to sleep." I whispered.

"But it's gonna be ok. I'm right here, yeah?" She pulled me into her, my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat, one of my arms and one of my legs draped over her. "Is that comfortable?" I nodded, amazed at how much my body relaxed once I heard her heartbeat.

"I need this."

"I know sweet girl." She stroked my hair, gently massaging my scalp while rubbing my back. "I'm here, ok? I've got you." She kissed the top of my head. "You can sleep in my bed as much as you need. I don't care if it's every night, I just want you to be getting sleep. I also just like sleeping with my baby girl."

"Mom." I blushed. "Well...I like sleeping with you too. You're comfy."

"Mhm. I know I am." I laughed softly, my eyelids getting heavy. "Just get some rest baby. I'll be right here if you have a bad dream, I'm right here, ok?" I nodded, feeling sleep slowly wash over me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[wheels-of-despair]

The Case of the Missing Eddie Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: Eddie disappears, and you freak the hell out. Contains: Panic, unhealthy coping mechanisms, murderous thoughts, Uncle Wayne, comfort, cheeseburgers. Word Count: 1.7k-ish Notes: Takes place near the end of the 1984-85 school year. Reader is a junior, Eddie is in Senior Year: Take 2. This was originally written for an event by newlips, but I picked at it for two weeks and still didn't like it enough to submit it, so now it's just a random entry in my Evil Woman universe. (As with all of those, can be read as a standalone.)

This features the prompt "If I believe in anything, it's you." from the 'A Quiet Love' list by soulprompts.

Eddie Munson was nowhere to be found.

You knew he had an appointment with Miss Kelley during 4th period that he'd pretended not to be nervous about. When the bell rang at the end of the day, you'd gone to meet him in the parking lot and find out how it went, but his van was gone. Did he go home sick? Did they find out what he did to the boys' locker room? Had the contents of his lunchbox been discovered? Your mind went wild with worry.

He probably just had errands to run, Gareth had said. It was Friday night, he'd definitely be back in time for Hellfire, Jeff had assured you. And yet, he was not. After waiting half an hour for their Dungeon Master to appear, the Hellfire Club finally packed up and went home.

You went to Eddie's.

Lights off, door locked, no van in sight.

Wedging a note that read "EDWARD. CALL ME." into the crack of the trailer door, you went home and continued worrying.

The next morning, when you knew Wayne would be getting home, you called.

"H'lo?"

"Hey, Wayne. Is Eddie there?"

"Hang on, I just walked in." You heard him put the phone down, walk away, and come back a few seconds later. "He's not here, darlin."

"Do you know if he came home at all last night?"

"Nope… anything I should know?"

"I haven't seen him since lunch yesterday... he was nervous about a meeting with Miss Kelley during 4th period."

"Aw, hell," Wayne grumbled. "If he shows up, I'll get him to call you."

"Thanks, Wayne."

He hummed in acknowledgment and hung up.

You hung up your own phone and banged your head against the wall next to it. What the hell, Eddie?

You waited.

And you waited.

And then you started cleaning.

The kind of cleaning that only happens when you're trying to take your mind off something that's worrying you.

Or someone you're going to kill for causing all this worry.

You hardly slept that night. You hadn't slept the night before either. You'd left your bedroom window cracked, even though it wasn't exactly sleeping-with-the-windows-open weather, hoping that it would summon him.

It did not.

On Sunday morning, approximately 30 seconds after you'd finally drifted off, the phone began to ring.

You leaped out of bed and tried to grab it, but you were so jittery and sleep-deprived, you fumbled it. When you finally got it to your ear, you heard Wayne.

"You alright, darlin'?"

"Yeah, just dropped the phone. Did you find him?"

"He's here, but it looks like he's sleepin' one off. I'd give him a while. Just wanted you to quit worryin'."

You breathed a sigh of relief, still feeling shaky.

"Thanks, Wayne. Can I come by and murder him in a few hours?"

He chuckled. "Go easy, sweetheart. Last time he disappeared like this was when he found out he'd failed."

Shit.

"Alright, Wayne. I'll spare him this time. Thanks again for calling."

"Sure thing. I'll leave the door unlocked for you." Wayne hung up.

Well, he's alive. For now, you think bitterly.

You managed to wait until 11:27 before heading out. You stopped by the only drive-thru in town and ordered Eddie's favorite burger combo, and one for Wayne too. Eddie's was to be used for either bribery or comfort. Wayne's was a thank-you.

You pulled into your usual spot and turned off the car, taking a moment to compose yourself. Breathe. You're not here to kill him for worrying you to death. You're here to find out what's wrong, and show him that you love him. There will be no murder today.

You entered quietly. Wayne, as promised, had left the door unlocked for you. At least one Munson Man can be counted on, said the devil on one shoulder. Go easy on him, he's having a hard time, said the angel on the other. Both of you need to shut the hell up, the annoyed brain in the middle thought. Wayne was sleeping, so you left the food on the table and approached Eddie's room cautiously.

Slipping in and easing the door shut behind you, you take a minute just to watch him breathe. He's alive. He's okay. He's face-down and sprawled out in nothing but his boxers, and you can smell the sweat and booze from the door.

You tiptoe through the mess of dirty clothes on the floor and sit on the edge of the bed. You rub a hand across his back, just grateful to be close to him again. Even if he does smell like a farm animal.

He begins to stir, turning his head in your direction and inching closer to your warmth. All of your anger begins to dissipate. Damn your soft spot for Sleepy Eddie. You reach up and gently brush his hair out of his face. He slowly opens his eyes, and smiles when he sees you.

And then he scrunches his eyes shut again, reaching for his head with a groan, and buries his face in the pillow. You smile, at his adorableness and not his misery, and exit the room. You return a minute later with a tall glass of water and a bottle of painkillers. Shaking out two pills into your palm as quietly as you can, you hold them out to him. You say his name softly, and once he realizes what you want, he sits up and pops them in his mouth, then drains the glass and hands it back to you.

"Another?" He shakes his head, and you place the glass on his bedside table. You want to give him time, and to tell him you love him, and to take it easy on him like Wayne asked you to. However, what comes out of your mouth is:

"What the fuck, Eddie?"

He looks at you quizzically, and his face clouds over when realizes what you're talking about. He sinks back down into the bed, flops onto his stomach, and hides his face in the pillow again. Maybe try a softer approach?

"I'm glad you're okay. But you scared the shit out of me. What the hell happened?"

He mumbles something that you can't quite make out.

"Wanna try that again?" you ask, raising an eyebrow that he can't see.

He turns his head in away from you and speaks to the wall.

"I failed," he croaks, "AGAIN."

As usual, Wayne was right. You wish you'd spent a little less time cleaning and a little more time figuring out how to handle this potential scenario. You take a deep breath.

"Go ahead and leave me, we both know it's coming."

"What?" you ask with an incredulous chuckle.

"You can do better than the dumb-ass Super Senior. Everybody knows it."

"Okay. So I should leave you because you suck at chemistry?"

"I suck at everything."

"Eddie, I say this with love… but shut the fuck up."

For once in his life, he does.

"You are good at so many things. It's not your fault that they're not things you get graded on." He doesn't respond, so you continue. "It's high school. It's not the end of the world."

"I'm gonna be the oldest fucking senior in the history of Indiana."

"Think they'll give you a trophy?"

He scoffs. Too soon, noted.

"You'll get there next year."

"Why bother? I'll just drop out like my old man did, let the cycle continue, everyone expects it anyway."

"No."

"No?"

"No. I'll beat your ass if you drop out, and then Wayne will probably want a turn, and if there's anything left of you, maybe we'll let Hellfire have a go."

You see his body twitch like he's fighting back either a sob or a chuckle, but he doesn't make a sound.

"Plus, you'll have an advantage next year that you didn't have this time."

"What?" he asks miserably.

"Me, doofus. I'll be a senior too. And I'm going to bully Miss Kelley into putting us in the same classes, so I can ride your ass and make sure you pass this time."

"All I heard was ride my ass."

You give the aforementioned ass a sharp smack, and he jumps from the impact.

"You're gonna get there next year. You're gonna walk that stage, flip Higgins the bird, and be free of Hawkins High forever."

"You seriously believe that?"

"If I believe in anything, it's you."

He's silent for a moment, then heaves a sigh and turns over to face you.

"That was extremely cheesy."

"So's the burger I brought you," you tease through the blush rising in your cheeks. It may have been a cheesy line, but it got the job done. "Get your ass up, wash this dead animal stench off, and maybe I'll let you eat it."

He smiles and extends a hand, as if he's going to let you pull him up. You stand up and reach for him, and he pulls you down. Into the bed. Where it smells like a drunk pig has been wallowing. Then he crawls on top of you. Rubbing his stupid face all over you. Spreading his stench with a wicked grin on his face. And you can't even yell at him, because you'll wake Wayne. He knows this. The rotten bastard.

"You're lucky I love you," you hiss through gritted teeth. He stills.

"I know," he says softly, looking up at you with those big sad eyes of his. You feel your heart break a little, and lean in for a kiss.

"Jesus Christ, can you get secondhand drunk? Is that a thing?" You wipe your mouth and shove him off you, and he laughs. You roll out of his bed and start pulling clean clothes out of the dresser, throwing them at him one garment at a time. A t-shirt hits him in the face before he realizes what you're doing, and he catches the rest. He gathers his clothes and heads for the door, stopping in front of you.

"Thank you," he whispers with a lingering kiss to your forehead. You pull back and look up at him with pure adoration in your eyes. And then that mischievous twinkle returns to his. "Jesus, you smell like you've been dumpster diving. When's the last time you bathed? You should probably come get in the shower with me." You laugh and give his smart ass a shove toward the bathroom.

God, you love him.

[chemicalalice]

Fic: My Favorite Mistake - Kinktober Day 1

Title: My Favorite Mistake Summary: Maybe he was the one mistake you would continue to make. Pairing: Rhett Abbott x female!Reader Warnings: unprotected PinV sex, swearing. Please be mindful of yourself and do not read if this content bothers you. 18+ only! Word count: 3123 AN: For the prompt 'love bites' for Kinktober 2023. No beta. I haven't posted in like, a year, I'm rusty. I hope this is formatted correctly. I think I have a plan for a second part of this.

Even in a small town, things could change fast. A month ago, this would have been normal, expected. But this wasn't a month ago. This was now. And you didn't know what was going on with Rhett and Maria ever since she got back, ever since he ghosted you, but you were pretty sure that whatever it was, he probably shouldn't have you pressed up against the side of your truck as he fucked you in the parking lot of the bar while Maria sat inside.

You and Maria had never been friends, not in any real sense. In high school you had hung out occasionally, but only because you mixed in the same friend group, despite the fact that you were a year younger. And even then you didn't talk much. During that time, it was painfully obvious to anyone with eyes that Rhett was nursing a massive crush on Maria. You, in turn, kept your own crush on Rhett more hidden. Maria ignored Rhett, and Rhett, for the most part, ignored you.

After her, graduation Maria didn't waste any time leaving Wabang for greener pastures, not giving the place where she grew up a single glance back, and certainly not sparing a single thought for Rhett. As for those she left behind, Rhett threw himself into the rodeo, and you focused on finishing school.

You didn't see Rhett much after that. Occasionally you would cross paths, at a party with a small wave of acknowledgement, or at the feed store with a brief hello as you went about your business. But you didn't talk.

And that was how things went for years. Right up until an unseasonably warm night in September as you stood beside a bonfire in your friend's yard. When Rhett stepped up next to you, you tossed the customary 'hey' in his direction before looking back down at the drama unfolding between your two best friends over a guy in the group chat.

It took you a minute to realize he was still standing there, and when you looked back up, he was staring at you. You watched as one side of his mouth twitched upwards in a small grin at the look of mild bewilderment on your face.

You didn't sleep with him that night; didn't give him the satisfaction of another easy catch. But you did talk, moving easily from one topic to the next until then fire burned down to embers and the rest of your friends started home. You let him have your number. And when he called the next day, you said yes to dinner.

That next night, that was when you slept with him. It has been three years since high school when Rhett first kissed you. And you had thought then and there that it was everything you had ever hoped it would be.

You never asked why he had approached you that night. You were too afraid of his answer. Like a skittish horse, you were afraid that questions and demands would spook him.

It was easy for things to fall into a rhythm with with him. Like clockwork, your phone would light up with his name every Friday night, the knock on your door coming soon after. He would spend the night at your place; it was always at your place. Saturday morning was started with an encore performance, although it was usually slower and more intimate, before he threw back some coffee and disappeared out your door until Friday rolled around again.

Gradually, he started reaching out more; one night a week became two, sometimes even three; texting became more frequent and not just when he was looking to hook up.

You kept your mouth shut. Never asked was was happening, what it meant when he started falling asleep at your place without anything remotely intimate occurring. You told that little bit of your heart that held onto its teenage love for the man to not get excited. Rhett was still Rhett, after all. He had a well known reputation as a love ‘‘em and leave ‘‘em type of cowboy. The fact that he somehow was in your bed every weekend that he wasn’t out in the circuit? Well, you just put that down to him being lazy and you being easy.

That’s all you would allow yourself think.

Sometimes it was easy.

When you happened to be out at the same bar and he barely spared you a glance, it was easy. When you saw that smooth as shit grin he would give the scantily clad girls who would cluster around the back fences after a successful ride, it was easy.

But the other times, like the slow Sunday mornings that were becoming more and more frequent, where he would step up behind you and wrap you in his arms and bury his face in your neck until the coffee was done brewing; or the way his eyes would instinctively seek yours in the stands after a good ride before breaking out into a massive grin, those times> Those times is was a lot more difficult to bury your quickly growing feelings.

You kept silent. He kept showing up. And Maria? She decided to come home.

You were pretty fucking smart. So when Rhett suddenly stopped showing up at your place, when you calls went answered and your texts were left on 'read', it didn't take much more of a glimpse of Maria at the grocery store to figure it out.

Maria was back. And Rhett was done wasting time with you now that the true object of his affections was available again.

It was ok. You had known things weren't going to last forever with Rhett. Him moving on was an inevitable conclusion. Something you had reminded yourself countless times over.

Still.

The first time you saw the two of them cozied up together at the bar.... it hurt. It hurt far more than you expected. Because no matter how your head tried to warn your heart, no matter how much you tried to deny it, you still went and fell ass over tea kettle for the guy.

And now you got to watch him smile for someone else; watch him leave with another girl.

The hurt felt the strongest for the first couple of weeks. Then the anger came. You had deserved better. It didn't matter that maybe all you had, all you ever would have had, with him was sex, you deserved better than being ghosted by a guy who was at your place more times than not for the past nine months.

You liked the anger a lot better than the hurt, so you held it close, nurtured the small sense of satisfaction as you watched Maria slowly revert back to her haughty high school self. She had licked whatever big city wounds she got and saw herself as the little city queen again.

As your mamma used to say, there was no point in crying over spilt milk. So you left them to it and moved on. Thankfully, there was no shortage of eligible men who were willing to help with that. If you hadn’t been a party girl before, you certainly were leaning into it now. And it was easy to ignore the disapproving frown that seemed to always grace Rhett’s lips when you happened to cross paths.

You told yourself it wasn't revenge when you started spending time with Luke Tillerson, of all people. It couldn't be revenge, not really, because you Rhett was too busy with Maria to even care who you were or were not sleeping with. You ceased to it exit in his mind.

Or so you thought.

Tonight, as you said your goodbyes and laughed off Luke's entreaties for you to stay, it was obvious for you to think it was him when you heard the crunch of gravel under boots behind you as you crossed the parking lot to your truck.

You grinned, not able to suppress the satisfaction you felt in him following you. Your eyes narrowed teasingly as you turned to face him. "Luke I said I am way to tired to-" Your words were cut off as Rhett's lips crashed down against yours, his momentum carrying you back to slam against your truck and out of the weak circle of illumination cast by the single light pole in the parking lot.

His hands fell to your ass, squeezing and kneading roughly, and pulling your skirt up enough that the cold metal of the truck behind you touched the back of your thighs and had you gasping and pulling away,

Shock at Rhett's presence had paralyzed you, but you soon found your strength as you managed to get your arms up between the both of you and shove.

Rhett stumbled back, but didn’t looked surprised.

“Luke, huh? Didn’t think he was your type.” Rhett's voice was bitter, and he crowded back into your space almost instantly, hands falling to your hips and squeezing, pulling you to him. You wanted to shove him away again, and your hands came up again to rest on his chest, but the look in his eyes stopped you. You couldn’t place the emotion held within them. Some strange mix of anger, hurt, and determination.

That look transfixed you, held you frozen in place, and you felt like one of the deer you had seen when he took you out shining that one time.

That look, that told you what was about to happen, that begged you not to stop it. Somewhere, in the back of your head, a voice that sounded a lot like yours was screaming. It was a slow motion car crash. You knew what was going to happen, how it was going to end. And yet, you still told yourself you could control it.

It wasn't ok. It wouldn't be ok. You shouldn't be doing this. You knew that. All those thoughts and a million more raced across your mind in a mere second. And yet?

And yet....

When he leaned down, you didn’t stop him, and as his lips once again touched yours you found your fingers curling in to the fabric of his shirt, clutching for support as you once again fell back against your truck under the force of him. Maybe he was the one mistake you would continue to make.

The kiss was rough, sloppy, and you could taste the beer he had been drinking earlier. He always drank something cheap. You hadn’t drank that much yourself that night, but it didn’t stop your from trying vainly to blame it on the booze as you allowed him to turn you around, listened to the jingle of his belt buckle as it was undone and the rasp of his zipper as it was pulled down; allowed him to press tightly against you and thrust himself up inside of you in one push.

He stilled, momentarily, as he bottomed out. A low groan escaped from him at the same time as you stifled a gasp at the sudden fullness of it. His hands were on your hips again, squeezing, pulling, holding you exactly where he wanted as he bent over you began to move.

It felt good, the feeing of him inside of you after what almost felt like an eternity. You spent the majority of your life not knowing his touch, and you hated that after just a little more than a month without it could feel so good. Like nothing else would ever compare.

You think you hated him at that moment. Hated how he had managed to make you fall in love with him. Hated how easy it was for him to drop you like you were nothing the second Maria showed up. Hated how easily he thought he still had a right to your body. Hated how you let him have it anyway.

He was breathing harshly, practically panting in your ear as he fucked you. He wasn’t being gentle, but you didn’t expect anything different. Being fucked against the side of a truck in a public parking lot wasn't meant for anything else.

You knew he was going to come soon. And you hated that too; how well you knew the little hitch he would get in his breathing as he worked himself closer to his orgasm. You dropped your forehead to rest on the arm you had braced against the truck, and wedged the other down in between your body and the vehicle, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your panties to rub roughly at your clit. You'd be damned if you were going to let him jump you like this without getting to cum too.

It didn’t take long for him to realize what you were doing, and with a little growl his hand slipped from your hip to knock your hand away, his fingers instantly replacing yours. The way his arm wrapped around your body pulled you even closer to him, and somehow, allowed him to sink even deeper into you.

It was impossible to hold in your groan at how good his touch was, always better than your own, and the noise seemed to spur him on. “‘Wanna feel you cum,” he growled, breaking the silence that had existed between you up until then. “‘Wanna fill you up.”

“If you cum before me, I will rip your balls off, Rhett Abbott,” you hissed back, knowing the threat was pointless. You were probably only moments away from you own orgasm now. You knew he would last that long, at the very least. Knew it would probably be your own peak that set him off.

“You always feel so good, sweetheart. Always so fucking good for me,” he was murmuring, lips on your throat, where he knew you were most sensitive, the place where he would always focus his attention when he wanted something, and when you felt teeth gently graze over your the skin there, that was all you needed. You pressed your mouth to your hand, holding back your cry of pleasure as you shook apart in his arms.

He followed seconds after, just as you knew he would. But what you didn’t expect was him biting down on your neck, teeth and mouth and tongue working at the sensitive skin there. He bit almost to the point of pain, and as you felt him spill into you, you knew with surety it was going to leave a mark.

Just when it got to be too much, when you thought you would cry out for him to stop, he let go, head dropping to your shoulder as he sagged against you. His hand slipped up and away from your cunt, but pressed flat against your stomach, holding you to him, as if he couldn’t bear to let you go or let any space come between your bodies.

You allowed, it for a moment; as your breath slowly returned to normal. But as the haze of mind numbing pleasure slowly began to recede, as the realization of what you just allowed to happen settled on your mind, the anger began to creep back in.

You bucked back against him, the movement causing him to slip out of you but not lose his grip where he held you. The wet warmth of him dripping out of felt like regret, and suddenly shame washed through you. The spot on your neck that ached, your scarlet letter.

“What the fuck Rhett!” You hissed, and this time he let you turn to face him in the cage of his arms. You shoved against his chest, but he was prepared this time and barely budged.

He stared down at you, looking lost, almost confused. “I missed you. A lot,” he offered weakly.

You laugh in disbelief. “You missed me? You disappear, stop answers my calls and texts and you say you missed me? It didn’t seem like you missed me when Maria was all over you and had her tongue down your throat in there tonight!”

You shoved against again, and this time he allows you to push him away.

“It’s not…. I can’t…..” His words are stuttering, eyes wide, and it only makes you angrier.

“Rhett, you followed me out here, fucked me, came inside me, and left a mark that tomorrow everyone is going to fucking see. Hopefully no one say you follow me out here! I think I deserve a bit more than you ‘missed me’.”

“You deserve better than Tillerman,” is what he finally manages.

Of fucking course. You saw it coming. But you are still surprised at how much it hurts, and how cheap it makes you feel as his cum grows cold and tacky on your thighs.

“Ah. So this,” you pressed your fingers to the red reddening mark on your neck, wincing as a sharp sting of pain zips through you, “is just you pissing to mark your territory. You don’t want me, not when Maria is suddenly interested, but you don’t want anyone else to either. You got your girl, Rhett. Got the only girl you have wanted since high school. Good for you. I mean, you completely ghosted me like a cheap one night stand, but good for you. Luke’s the only fucking person who doesn’t look at me with pity in this town, thanks to you but I guess a little dignity in moving on from an obvious mistake is too much to ask for. What I think is that I deserve better than you.” You kept your voice steady, but you couldn’t stop your eyes from welling up as you spoke.

Pure devastation is writ large across his face as your words wash over him. And you hate how it hurts you even more.

“It isn’t what I expected," he forces out. "With her. And I saw you, tonight, and I just….I just…” He reaches up and rips the beat up ball cap from his head, smacking it against his leg in frustration as his words fail him again.

You shake your head in pained disbelief. “Fuck you, Rhett. Fuck you. Go back to Maria. You two deserve each other. Just….leave me alone.”

You turned then, pulling open the door to your truck and climbing inside. You slammed the door shut behind you, cutting off his next words; not wanting to hear anything else from the man.

But as you drove away, tires spinning violently in the loose gravel of the lot, you couldn’t help looking back. In the rearview you saw Rhett raise his hands to his head, fingers curling in his hair as he kick at the ground in frustration, watching as your taillights fade from sight.

[anamoon63]

Hi guys, I am writing this in case anyone wonders why I have been kind of MIA lately. No, I haven't forgotten you, but I have had a difficult week, more than a difficult week, I have been through a real ordeal. Where or how it started it's a long story which I don't have the time or the energy to tell, so I'll just share a brief chronology of what happened during this past week.

Friday May 3 - I turned in my finished work and set out to do my sims posts, play and rest for the weekend since more work would be coming my way on Monday.

Saturday May 4 - My husband came down with the flu, I spent most of the day with him in the emergency room.

Sunday May 5 - I spent it taking care of my husband, who fortunately no longer had a fever. I barely slept two hours at night giving care and medication.

Monday 6 May - My birthday, we couldn't go out for dinner as usual, so we celebrated at home.

Tuesday, May 7 - My son comes down with the flu, too, another afternoon in the ER and sleepless night caring for him and bringing down his fever.

Wednesday, May 8 - My son starts to feel better, and begins to recover very quickly. I start working on the following translations, at the same time I take care of both my husband and my sick son, do food, laundry, order home medicines, and all kinds of small chores, including disinfecting things. It's like going back to 2020.

Thursday, May 9 - My husband no longer has a fever but does have a cough that won't go away and minor problems with his asthma.

Friday, May 10 - Mother's Day, my son was feeling fine, my husband still had a cough, and had a doctor's appointment at noon, when he returned, we celebrated at home just like on my birthday, I spent the rest of the day working, and juggling a thousand other things. In the evening my daughter started to feel sick, but still no fever.

Saturday, May 11 (yesterday) - My daughter woke up with a fever, another visit to the ER. She was prescribed flu medicine, painkillers and rest, and sent home.

And that's my odyssey so far. On top of it all, from Wednesday through Saturday we were in the middle of a heat wave with temperatures of 37ºC with real feel of up to 45ºC; at night we get a "cooler" temperature of 29ºC. So imagine a person with a fever of 38 ºC and with this heat, obviously it's not of much help.

Surprisingly, I haven't gotten sick so far, but I'm not claiming victory. I have been taking care of my family for a week, sleeping two or three hours a night, getting up at different times to check on them, or give them medicine. I don't have time for getting sick! Lol. Thankfully, everyone is better and last night for the first time in a week I was able to sleep straight through. Honestly, I don't need many hours of sleep, but I am routinely and usually I am in bed a 11 pm and up at 8 am every day, so all this did upset my sleep cycle a little bit.

Anyway, that is the reason why I wasn't here much, since the whole day I was too busy, and at night I was so tired all I wanted was to go to bed. I apologize if I've fallen behind on your updates, I'm not ignoring you in any way, I just didn't have the strength or the time, not even to play The Sims. If I did, it was just a little free play to distract myself.

Last week I told you that I was juggling a lot of things, well now I have even more things, lol, at times I feel really exhausted, and even a little cranky from lack of sleep, the first few days my feet and legs hurt so much from going back and forth, but I'm fine, healthy, and in good spirits. Today I believe, as never before, that the universe does not send you more than you can handle.

At this point my family is already in recovery, if I don't get sick too, it's likely by I'll be able to get back to my simming routine. Now, if I do get sick, I hope to recover as quickly as the others. Whatever happens, I'll be around. Know that, even if I don't comment, I read you, and I am with you, especially with those who are going through difficult times of any kind.

Ok, I said to myself this was going to be a short post, but I made a wall of text instead (for a change). My apologies if it's written in a sloppy or confusing way, I just wanted to write it quickly to let you know where I have been and what has been going on with me these days. I hope you are all well, please take care of yourselves, health is a treasure that can be lost at any moment, the flu is a nasty disease, we must never let our guard down and forget to take the necessary measures to prevent it.

Last, but not least, I want to thank all of you who have mentioned me, tagged me, sent me asks and/or stars to my inbox, commented and/or liked what few posts I could do these days, I appreciate it very much and I'll try to reply to you as soon as I can, though I've fallen so far behind that I don't know if I'll be able to find your mentions in my notifications. In any case, thank you very, very much to all of you for thinking about me in my absence. 💗 I'll see you soon, hopefully, with more sim adventures, stay tuned!

[weemsfreak]

Can you write a fic about reader being depressed/in bed alot and not taking care of themselves so one day Larissa takes care of them and spoils them?! :)

Take Care of Me

Hello! I love this idea and I hope this is what you wanted! I might have gotten sappy at the end as I wrote it when I was intoxicated lol

Anyway, enjoy :)

Warnings: Depression, suicidal ideation, I think that's it

Some days you couldn't get out of bed. It wasn't that you didn't want to of course, you just really couldn't bring yourself to. Your amazing girlfriend, Larissa, knew of your illness, but never saw you so stuck before, so involuntarily inhibited.

 The morning she noticed that you weren't your usual self and couldn't get out of bed, she called in a substitute and told you to stay home. That was three days ago. When she got home Thursday night, she slipped into bed with you and hugged you close to her without saying a word. She knew that you didn’t want to talk, and she let you cry into her without a second thought. It's not that you weren't happy with your relationship, hell it was the only thing that you thanked the gods for. You were just unsure, insecure, and tired. Your mind never ever stopped and you were oh so tired. Friday morning when you woke up, Larissa was still in bed next to you. You looked at her back, strong and pale, her hair spilling over her onto the pillow like a waterfall. God she was beautiful. You took in her freckles and the white of her hair, not a dark strand to be found. You felt yourself smile for the first time in days, but you still had no energy to get yourself up. You looked to your phone and scrolled before realizing what time it was, 9am. "Shit, Larissa get up, get up!" you sat up and shook her gently. She rolled over towards you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you back down. "What's wrong darling" she mumbled, still half asleep. "Riss, you slept in!" you said with urgency. Larissa opened her eyes and peered down at you, a small smile lit up her face. She said nothing and pulled you into her, nuzzling your face into her neck. She sighed, "Don’t worry love, I took the day off." You looked up at her with a confused look on your face, "You what?" Larissa barely took any days off, even when she needed a well deserved break. "I'm not going into work today, go back to sleep" she said quietly as she kissed your forehead. "Why? What happened?" you asked, still confused. She chuckled and looked down at you, "I took a day off to stay home with you, is that so hard to believe?" she jested. As much as you didn't want to admit it, it was hard to believe. Did she think you were incapable? Needy? Annoying? Did she think that you needed her to take care of you? In reality you did, but you didn't, you shouldn't. "Riss, I don't need you to take care of me" you grumbled, slightly annoyed. She started peppering kisses on your face which made you giggle. She cupped your face and looked at you with half lidded eyes, "I know you don't darling, I just wanted to relax with you." You took a deep breath as you calmed down further from your panic and rested your head against Larissa's chest, hearing her strong heart beat made you feel safe and it lulled you back to sleep.

You awoke around lunch time, this time you jolted upright with an anxiousness in your chest. You scanned the bedroom, Larissa wasn't next to you anymore. She probably decided to go into work, since you would just sleep the day away anyway. Tears welled up in your eyes at the thought of disappointing her and you put your head in your hands as they fell. You didn't want to feel like this, a body that won't start and a brain that won't stop. You knew you had so much potential and so much to do in life, but something was holding you back, something always held you back. You hoped that Larissa wasn't mad at you for not being productive this week. You haven't showered in days, you only ate snacks, and you desperately needed some fresh air. As you sobbed quietly, you heard the door to the bedroom open and Larissa entered from the kitchen. "Darling, what's wrong?" she said quietly, sitting next to you and pulling you into her arms. "Larissa I'm so tired" you sobbed into her chest. You took a deep breath, "I smell bad and I'm hungry and I look like shit" you sniffled. Larissa kissed your head before lifting your chin to meet your gaze. She smiled, "Can you get out of bed for me love? I want to help you." You looked into her deep blue eyes and found only kindness, adoration, and love. You wiped your eyes as you nodded slowly and reached to place a big kiss on her cheek. You would get out of bed, you could get out of bed, for her. She picked you up and you wrapped your legs around her as she carried you to the bathroom. She ran a bath for you with soothing oils and rose petals that she seemingly pulled out of nowhere before telling you to strip. You did so a little reluctantly before she picked you up and placed you in the bath. You laid back and closed your eyes, not even wanting to wash yourself, this was good enough. After a minute you felt a warm cloth on your skin and you peeled your eyes open to see your girlfriend sitting next to the bath. She smiled at you as she offered you a snack and a drink, which you gladly took. She gently washed you, and you basked in the warmth of hers and the waters touch. Once you were clean, Larissa took your hair out of it's bun and began brushing it. She hummed to you as she untangled your hair and ran her fingers through your scalp. You even mustered enough energy to shave while she worked on your hair. "Do you want to wet your hair, darling? So I can wash it?" You looked at her and nodded, sinking down into the tub. You took a deep breath and submerged yourself entirely, the water surrounding your whole body felt so cooling and calming. You opened your eyes while underwater and saw Larissa staring down at you. The water distorted her face and she looked so far away, even though you knew she was close. For a moment, you pictured yourself in the ocean, surrounded by an endless amount of water. You thought about sinking deeper and deeper, not even trying to save yourself from whatever was dragging you down. Perhaps you were letting yourself sink, maybe even wishing that you did. As tears threatened to fall down your face, you realized that it was impossible, you were submerged in water. You closed your eyes again and made no attempt to get out of the water, you could hold your breath a little longer. After some time you felt a hand reach for you and all of a sudden you were no longer underwater. You gasped for air and opened your eyes, realizing that you were in fact crying again. "Y/N that's not what I meant!" Larissa rushed out nervously. You blinked at her, "I know Riss. The water is just calming." She dropped her gaze to the floor for a moment before she shook her head and grabbed the shampoo, then she started to scrub your hair.

Once you were out of the bath and brushed your teeth, Larissa carried you and sat you at her vanity. She got out her lotion and rubbed it on your whole body, legs, arms, face, tummy, hands, and feet. She disappeared for a moment before coming back to you with a bag of nail polish. "Pick a colour love, I'll paint your fingernails and toenails to match" she hummed with a wide smile. You looked down at all the colors and set your eyes on black. Usually that's what you would pick, but today you wanted something different. You put your hand in the bag and searched for a bottle, lifting one out and presenting it to her. "This one?" Larissa asked, and you nodded your head with no hesitation. Once your fingernails and toenails matched, Larissa picked you up and set you on her lap. She sat you so that you were facing her, straddling her thighs. She began to do your makeup, secretly hoping that you wouldn't start crying again and smudge any of it. She did your simple look of eyeliner, mascara, blush, and she finished with red lipstick, her signature shade. She brought her hands up to cup your cheek and tiled your head down, giving a kiss to your forehead. She smiled, "There, my little puppy looks good as new." You felt tears threatening to spill again at Larissa's kindness but held them back, knowing they would smudge your makeup. You grabbed Larissa's face and lovingly pressed your lips to hers, hoping to calm yourself and prevent yourself from crying. You kissed your girlfriend passionately for a couple of minutes before she pulled back. "You smudged your lipstick" she fake growled against your lips. "I thought you needed some too" you winked.

Larissa picked you up and plopped you on the bed as you watched her get dressed and do her hair and makeup. She then came over to you with an outfit and touched up your lipstick. After you were dressed, she took your hand and sat on the bed beside you. "I have a surprise for you darling, if you're okay with going out today." You stared at her for a minute as you contemplated going out. You realized that you hadn't even walked around the apartment for days, Larissa had carried you everywhere today. Perhaps it was time to go outside, you knew you needed to see the trees and feel the breeze on your skin again. "Okay" you said quietly, trying to sound sure of yourself.

You stared out the window as Larissa drove down the winding roads of Jericho. It was a nice day, sunny but not too warm. You watched as you drove past your favorite noodle place, and you must have sighed because Larissa noticed what you were looking at. You pulled up to a hair salon that you've never been to before, but you recognized it as the place Larissa gets her hair done. You looked over at her and furrowed your brows. She grinned at you as her eyes sparkled, "I thought you could get your hair done, love. You could get a cut, color, whatever you want, it's on me." You looked at the salon and tried to picture yourself going in. You didn't have the energy to make conversation with anyone, but you did need your bangs trimmed, and you have been wanting to darken your hair for sometime now. You looked over at Larissa again with pleading eyes. "You don’t have to talk love. I'll come with you and make conversation. Just tell me what you want."

Almost two hours later you exited the salon. You had to admit, the dark color was a look on you, especially with your red nails and lips that matched Larissa's perfectly. Once you were in the car you pulled Larissa into a hug and squished your face to hers. "Thank you so much baby" you mumbled, giving her soft kisses on the lips. She brought her lips to your ear and husked, "Anytime darling, you look absolutely ravishing" before giving you a wink.

You stayed silent as Larissa drove. You were feeling a bit better about yourself now, you felt clean and rather pretty, you'd admit it. You watched your girlfriend as she drove, she was truly an angel sent from heaven. She never made you feel bad about yourself over your looks or your emotions, and she showed you nothing but love. So why did you feel so bad about yourself? Why did you feel so bad about everything? You were pulled out of your trance as she turned into the mall and parked. "What are we doing?" you asked confused. "We're going shopping!" Larissa exclaimed. You frowned, but you weren't totally opposed to it. You knew she loved to shop, but you only liked it when you were in the mood. Her smile faded but remained soft, "We won't be long, darling."

You walked through the mall with Larissa's hand in yours as she led you to a store. You had been at the shop with her before, but you had never bought anything yourself. It was full of very fancy and expensive clothing, clothing you liked, but had never wanted to spend the money on. Larissa led you to a rack of clothing that was your size and gestured to it. "What?" you asked, "This rack isn't your size." She giggled and put her hand on your back as she started to look through the dresses. "Pick out an outfit darling, I want to buy you something nice." Your eyes widened as you stared up at her, you didn't want her to spend more money on you. "Riss, this stuff is nice but it's too expensive" you whispered. She chuckled at you and kissed your forehead, "I'm buying you something nice, and that's final. Now pick something out" she said sternly. After 20 minutes, you had picked out a black jumpsuit, red dress, and a white two piece skirt. You hollered over to Larissa that you were going to try them on and made your way to the dressing room. As you tried on the outfits, you couldn't help but look at the price tag. You appreciated Larissa spoiling you and caring for you, but you didn't want her to spend all of her money on you. Surprisingly, you liked all of the outfits. More so than you usually did when you tried stuff on. Usually you hated picking out clothes, you guessed that these were expensive for a reason. You sighed, you couldn't make up your mind. Usually you opted for darker clothing and style, but today you were feeling a little different. You stepped out of the dressing room in the white two piece skirt and found Larissa waiting for you. "Hey Riss, do you like this?" She looked up from her phone and eyed you up and down, her mouth opening when she did. She smiled, "Y/N, that looks stunning on you, love." You looked down at the outfit questioningly, "Really?" You could see from the look in Larissa's eyes that she loved it on you, but it was still weird stepping out of your comfort zone. "Of course, white looks marvellous on you. Moving away from black, are we?" she taunted. A blush crept up on your cheeks as you looked to the ground, "Just this once" you mumbled. After Larissa bought you the outfit, she insisted that you go to the washroom and change. You weren't sure what her plan was, but you had to admit that spending this time with her and getting to dress up was super fun.

When you were on the road again, Larissa told you to close your eyes and not to peak. After a few minutes, you were still driving and you wondered why she told you to close your eyes so early. "Riss, I'm scared, why do I have to close my eyes?" She chuckled at you before turning into a parking lot. "Okay darling, now open!" You opened your eyes and swivelled your head around to see your favorite noodle place. Your eyes lit up and you almost smiled, almost. You turned to Larissa as a blush crept up on your cheeks. You reached out for her and she leaned into you, hugging you tight. "You know me so well" you whispered.

You both were dressed too fancy for this restaurant. You looked like you were going to an expensive restaurant, and you knew Larissa would rather that. Yet, here you were, eating noodles together at an average looking place. Larissa and you both got the ramen, and you held back a laugh when she picked up the chop sticks and put too many noodles into her mouth, panicking and looking at you with wide eyes. You reached your hand out and held her unoccupied hand, eating your noodles in the same messy fashion that she was. Larissa wasn't the best with chop sticks, but she tried, she would do anything to make you happy.

As Larissa pulled up to the beach downtown, you wondered how many places she's taken you today. You didn't want her to think you were fragile or needed to be coaxed out of your depressive episode, but you appreciated it none the less. As you got out of the car, Larissa took off her heels. "C'mon love, take your shoes off and follow me." You did as she said and grabbed her hand, following her down the sandy beach. As you walked slightly behind her, the sun illuminated her figure in a golden hue. You realized that Larissa was your rock, your savior, and your saving grace. She was always there for you when nobody else was, and in reality, she always had more energy and strength than you did, even though she worked harder than you.

"Two chocolate ice cream please" you watched your girlfriend say to the woman at the ice cream booth with a smile. God you would never ever get tired of that smile, her cute chubby cheeked, toothy smile. You walked along the beach further with your ice creams, feeling the hot sand in your toes. You needed this, to feel alive. To see the ocean, feel the sand and the breeze, to be able to breathe in the warm air. Until this point, all you've felt is trapped, no air, no ability to breathe. For days you've felt like you were in the ocean, trapped under water with nobody to save you and nowhere to go.

Larissa placed a blanket down on the sand, which she again pulled out of nowhere, and sat down, patting the spot next to her. You sat down and stared at the ocean, eating your ice cream and just trying to be in the moment. As the sun started setting, you looked around the beach and saw so many people sitting together, enjoying being alive. Perhaps there are moments in which being here is worth it. The world can be a lovely, enjoyable place, with lots of beauty to admire. You looked over at Larissa, who was lost in the sound of the ocean. You admired her beauty, you could never create someone as ethereal and as stunning as she was, it was literally impossible. You thanked the gods, old and new, that she was real, she was here, and she was yours. You really didn't want to save yourself, hell, you didn't know how. But maybe, just maybe, Larissa was sent to you for a reason. Maybe Larissa Weems, your incredible girlfriend and hopefully soon to be wife, was here to save you from yourself. Maybe life was worth living, if you could live it with her. You decided in that moment that as long as Larissa was alive, you wanted to be too. You smiled for the second time in the past few days, at nothing other than Larissa herself. You smiled not your hair, or the dress, or the food that she bought you, but at the angel before you, she never failed. You had Larissa, and that was everything you needed. A tear fell down your cheek as you smiled at her, and you had to stop yourself from bursting into tears. This time, it wasn't because you were sad, but because you were grateful, and in love. Larissa's eyes met yours as she licked her ice cream, and she watched a tear fall down your face. Her smile turned to a frown as she cupped your cheek in her hand. "What's wrong my love?" she asked. You looked into those sapphire eyes, ones you prayed you could get lost in forever. You grabbed the back of her head and crashed her lips to yours, tasting the chocolate ice cream that she had on her tongue. You kissed her and cried a bit before pulling back and resting your forehead against hers. "Thank you for taking care of me Larissa. I owe you my life, and I love you with every fibre of my being."

[ironstrange1991]

Forbidden (Part 4)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Before setting out on a dangerous mission, Stephen decides to settle some things with Y/n. When they leave, she is forced to deal with the emptiness that remains in their place and the fear that they may never return.

Word Count: 4,5k

Warnings: Slight ansgt and mention of dead parents.

SERIES MASTERLIST

It was Friday and you were tired. You hadn't slept the night and classes were being particularly grueling. You spent practically the whole morning in a kind of torpor and if someone asked you, you wouldn't know the subject of the classes you attended.

When the bell finally rang releasing you for lunch, you grabbed your things and left without bothering to wait for your classmates. You wanted to disappear from that place, you wanted to lock yourself in your room and throw yourself on the bed and, if possible, be swallowed by it.

There was a mental weariness in you that seemed to be increasing over the last few days. The fact that the Avengers were on the verge of leaving for another mission was also keeping you awake at night, which didn't help to keep you awake during classes. Everything seemed wrong and you didn't quite understand why and that was starting to worry you. You even tried sounding Natasha out about the mission, but as usual she didn't say more than a few words.

"The less you know the better, is what Tony says" That's basically what she said. You tried to argue that you cared about him and that you knew Strange would participate in the mission which indicated that the situation was dangerous.

Natasha just smirked "Are you worried about Doctor Strange's safety? I guarantee he can take care of himself." And quickly she changed the subject. Yes, you cared about Stephen, but not as much as you cared about Tony. Though he forgot about it sometimes, he was just a mortal man.

You smile feeling a pinch of longing. Even though you spoke almost every day, it wasn't the same and it had been weeks since you'd seen each other. "I just wish Tony didn't have to go on these missions anymore. I mean, hasn't he done a lot already? Damn, he deserves some peace."

You were striding towards the exit and talking on the phone with MJ. In fact, she just listened to all your fruitless whining and just gave a few "uh hums" to say she was paying attention. You sighed feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with all this stuff."

She quickly cut you off "You are not bothering me, you know you can tell me anything. Besides, I don't have any news anyway, so you can tell me whatever you want, I'm a good listener."

MJ agreed "Yes he deserves it, but honestly I think he doesn't stop because he can't stay behind watching his friends go, but Y/n, you know Stark can handle it. He is a super badass. Remember?"

You sighed. I smile in your lips. Tony was indeed a super badass man, a genius, a man who used his inteligence to outcome all his limits. You were so proud of him. "Yeah I know."

Your cell phone vibrated with a message and you asked MJ to wait. You read the message getting even more irritated than you already was. "Fuck"

"Whats wrong?" MJ asked.

"Happy won't be able to pick me up" You replied stepping firmly and praying for a taxi. "All I want is to go home. Is that too much to ask?"

MJ seemed to weigh her next words "You haven't talked to Strange, have you?" You shook your head "I haven't seen him since the last time we spoke. That tragic and pathetic situation I already told you about a thousand times."

"I can understand why you're so irritated. Why don't you look for him before he leaves for the mission? Talk to him, y/n."

"I can't." You shook your had. It wasn't like the idea hadn't crossed your mind a few times. "MJ, I can't. Every time I try to force myself to work up the courage to do it I get this feeling..."

"What feeling?"

You sighed, clutching your bag close to your body and squeezing yourself through a group of students who were blocking your way at the exit gate. "That if he had any real interest in me he would seek me out..."

That's when you saw him. He was wearing jeans and a gray shirt, sunglasses, both hands in his pockets. It was impossible for him not to stand out among other people, yet no one seemed to notice him. He was standing there looking in your direction and you stopped abruptly "Shit"

"What is it?" MJ asked realizing something was wrong.

"He is here."

"Who? Strange? What is he doing there?..."

"I'll call you later."

"No, wait..." You hung up the phone and suppressed a smile that played at the corners of your lips and forced yourself to walk towards him.

 You managed to control your emotions the best you could. "Looking for someone, doctor?"

He gave you that sideways smile that took your breath away "Young lady, early twenties, tattoos, beautiful smile. Have you seen her?" He blinked at you with an open smile in his lips.

"Well I think you just found her."

"Luck me, then" He pointed to the phone in your hand "Stark?"

 You shook your head "MJ"

He nodded "How are things in Boston?"

You put your cell phone in your pocket "Everything's great, from what she told me."

He nodded "Good. Can we talk or are you going to yell at me again?"

You shrugged "It depends. Are you going to act like a jerk again?"

He shook his head chuckling dryly "Fair enough. Well I plan to take you for lunch."

You couldn't help but smile, but internally you were screaming at yourself that this wasn't a date. "I just missed my ride so I will accept it. Thank you."

"Great" Stephen replied and the two of you walked away around the building. He took you to a small restaurant just a few blocks from the uni. You sat at the farthest table you could find and were attended by a waitress who seemed overly excited about serving Doctor Strange.

The waitress took the order without even looking at you, she only had eyes for Stephen and honestly you couldn't blame her. "Would you like something to drink, sir?"

"How can I help you?" She asked with an exaggerated smile.

Stephen glared at you "Hungry?"

You nodded shyly and he thought for a moment "I'll have the usual" He replied and then waited for you to make up your mind.

You just pretended to look at the menu, your nervousness made it impossible to read the words so you pointed to the first thing that caught your eye "I'll have the salmon with asparagus and orange juice, please."

Stephen smiles sympathetically "Just water for me, thanks."

She wrote it down and left reluctantly.

You shook your head smiling. It was hard to imagine both Stephen and Wong discussing about food or any other normal thing, honestly.

You eyebrown raised "She really didn't want to leave. Probably a fan of yours." He chuckled "jealous?" You pouted "Maybe. Looks like you come here quite often." You added.

He shook his head "I've come a few times, Wong likes their tuna melt sandwich and sometimes he makes me come get it for him."

"How is the band going? America told me your songs are playing nonstop on the radio. Got a record label?"

You shook your head "Not really. Just released the songs online. Fans did the rest and the radio are just following the flow."

"I should congratulate you, anyway. You deserve this. You are very good."

You felt your cheeks getting hot with the compliment. "So you don’t listen to the radio? I must confess I always imagined you listening to my music and being forced to think about me. I'm disappointed."

He chuckled "Don't be. I preffer to listen to them on Spotify. They are good. But I preffer to listen them live."

You smile smugly "Thank you. I could do a secret show just for you if you asked me to. You could choose the songs."

He exhaled dramatically "That's very tempting."

You chucked "We can schedule it, but it may take some time. Things are moving very fast. I'm happy of course, but I'm having a hard time organizing my time between the band and college."

 "I'm sure you'll find a way to handle both."

"I'm trying, but college has been taking a lot of my time."

Stephen shook his head sympathetic "By the way, how's your dissertation going?"

You grinned proudly "Almost finished."

He smiles back at you "Glad to hear that." He thought for a moment frowning "America also mentioned something about a magazine photoshoot..."

You bit the inside of your cheek. You didn't imagine that America talked so much about you. Not that you minded.

"Tony doesn't think it's a good idea. In his words: it's a little too suggestive."

Stephen raised an eyebrow, curiosity in his eyes. "May I ask what that is about?"

"It's a tattoo magazine. They want to interview me about the band and talk about the relation between music and tattoos. You know I love both so I'm tempted to take the offer. Plus I always end up in the tabloids anyway."

Stephen gave a small laugh "I'm sorry for the last time"

You shrugged "Don't be. I don't really care. Besides, you saved me. No need to apologize. Anyway, I'm still thinking about it."

He nodded "Well, I'm sure you take the best decision. You're very smart and seem to be getting everything right."

You agreed smiling shyly. It occured to you that you liked when he praised you. You shook your had feeling your hands sweaty.

Stephen look at you more serious now "Y/n... I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you that day. I was scared of what happened... well, what could have happened. I know it wasn't your fault, I'm sorry if I made it sound like I thought otherwise." He held both hands together on top of the table, his blue eyes seemed to see right through you and just for a minute you wished you could read his mind.

You shook your head trying to formulate the words when you noticed that he expected an answer "It's okay, I guess I can't stay mad at you anyway, even if I try very hard."

He managed not to let on how much those words pleased him, but you could see the corner of his lips curling up in a cocky smirk. "It's good to know that."

You felt your face blushing "I apologize for the way I yelled at you, even if you were being an idiot, we shouldn't yell at older people."

He grinned. "Why I always get this feeling you like how old I am?"

You had to look away to hide the angry red on your cheeks. He didn't let that go unnoticed "I'm right then."

You exhaled slowly as you realized you were holding your breath. "It's not fair..." You said looking back at him "You know exactly what you do to me, doctor."

You could have sworn his eyes got darker and he seemed to force himself to swallow his smile. "Y/n..."

You stared at your hands waiting like a child who's said something wrong.

"Stark asked me why I was at the nightclub that night..."

You looked at him in surprise "What did you say?

 "I didn't know what to say, so I lied." He confessed.

You bit the inside of your cheek "Stephen..."

"Look, you got mad at me because I said I liked you as a friend, but the truth is, I only said that because I didn't know what to say. Of course I like you and I care about you, but ...To be honest I don't know what you are to me. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you and believe me, I know how inappropriate it is."

You felt your heart racing in your chest at those words and to some extent you were grateful to be interrupted by the waitress who approached bringing your food.

"Would you like anything else?" She asked, but her eyes were locked on Stephen.

"No, we're fine. Thank you" He said dryly not amused for being interrupted. Her smile seemed to crumble "Excuse me"

"Why?" You asked quietly as if you didn't even want him to hear the question. But he listened and shook his head nervously and then looked away "I'm leaving with the Avengers tomorrow morning. I couldn't leave without talking to you first."

You didn't miss the fact that he didn't answer your question.

"Tony told me it's something big."

 "Yes, it is."

You didn't want to talk about it. You didn't want to think that once again Tony was heading towards another extremely dangerous enemy.

"I hate this." You confessed "I hate seeing you leave and having to be left behind waiting not knowing if you'll come home."

Stephen nodded, "I imagine it will be hard to see Stark go. You must worry a lot about him."

You shook your head and looked out the window to hide that there were tears in your eyes. "I still remember the day Tony told me my parents had died. Every time Tony goes on a mission I wonder who will come to tell me if he dies. He's all I have."

Stephen rolled his lips and reached out and touched your hand. "I won't let anything happen to him. I promise."

You shook your head "It's not just him. I worry about everyone. "

He smiles reassuringly "I'll try to keep everyone safe then."

"Stephen... I'm also talking about you. Who's going to protect you while you're out there protecting everyone else?"

He squeezed your hand in his. His hand was shaking but you didn't mind it. It was warm and his touch felt so good. "I'll be fine."

"America needs you, you know that right? You're pretty much all she has."

"I know. I'll be fine." He repeated. You weren't convinced, but didn't say anything else.

"She made me promise I wouldn't leave without talking to you first" Stephen said smiling "She loves you like a sister. Can't stand to see us arguing apparently." He sighed "Things are always so simple for her."

You looked at your food on your plate, but there was a nervousness inside you that made your stomach flutter. You took a sip of juice. "Things can be simple, Stephen, if we want them to be"

He looked straight to your eyes . "I don't think Stark would think that way."

That was the answer you needed but not exactly the one you wanted.

"You know I'm a legal adult, right? You turned to dust for five years, but I grew up, Stephen. I am not fifteen anymore."

He took a good look around as if he wanted to make sure there was no one around to hear what you were saying and then stared at you with a certain gleam in his eyes you've never seen before. "Trust me, sweetheart, I'm well aware of that."

...

When you left the restaurant there was a weight on Stephen's chest that made each step heavier than the last. He could barely breathe suffocated by everything he wanted to say to you and couldn't. Somehow he felt that this might be his only chance and that feeling seemed to crush his heart in his chest.

You walked slowly in heavy silence until you reached a taxi stand. He wanted to portal you home, but didn't want to risk arousing even more suspicion.

"Will I see you again before you leave for the mission?"

He shoved both hands in his pocket "I don’t think so." You nodded going towards the taxi driver, but he grabbed your arm. He didn't want you to leave. Fuck Stephen, say something "I really enjoyed our time together."

You smiled. You had a beautiful smile. A sad one, but beautiful anyway. "Me too"

Before he could even react, you reached up on tiptoe and kissed him dangerously close to his lips. Just a peck, but enough to send heat through his entire body.

You smirked "For good lucky." You turned around talking to the taxi driver "Stark Tower, please" He watched you getting in the car and the taxi driver starting it.

"Y/n..." He called tapping on the rear window. You opened it and he touched your face. "I will miss you. I always do"

You smiled and then you left. Stephen stood there watching the car get lost in the traffic.

…

When you entered the Tower, you were greeted by the usual gale of people rushing back and forth, hurried about their tasks. Happy yelling and giving orders and the whole gang of superheroes planning the mission.

You took the elevator up to the comfort of your room.

You kicked off your shoes and threw yourself on the bed feeling a mixture of excitement and sadness at the same time. You've never talked so openly with Stephen before and now you had to let him go on a mission that as far as you were allowed to know was something big and dangerous. How could you stand that?

Your phone vibrated in your pocket. There were a million messages from MJ and a million from Mike. You guys were supposed to rehearse with the band at night, but at that point you couldn't care less. Everything seemed so meaningless.

You didn't realize you'd fallen asleep until you woke up to a warm hand on your arm "Hey darling, wake up. We're leaving."

You opened your eyes to find Tony sitting next to you on the bed. "I thought you would go tomorrow morning." You sat down leaning on the headboard. "I fell asleep. I'm sorry..."

"Change of plans." He smiles fondly at you "Don't worry, I've been working all day."

You hugged your knees. There was so much you wanted to tell him, but the words seemed small compared to all your fears and besides, you knew he knew exactly how you felt.

"Pepper told me she plans to spend a few days in Malibu. You should go with her. I don't like to think of you two here alone."

You shook your head "We're not alone. Happy is staying here with us and besides I have class and I also need to finish my dissertation. My deadline is in two weeks."

He nodded "Right. I had forgotten." He frowned "Where were you after class? Happy said you got here past 3pm."

You shrugged "Having lunch with a friend" You bit the inside of your cheek deciding whether to say the friend was Stephen or not. In the end you decided not to say anything.

"Good." He was silent for a moment.

"Tony..." You held out your hand and he took it in his "Be careful. Please. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."

He shook his head "I'll be fine, don't worry." He sighed heavily and got up then bent to place a kiss on the top of your head "See you in a few days."

You nodded and he was leaving when he turned on his heel "About that photoshoot... I think you should do it if it's something you really want."

You smiled "Pepper made you say this, didn't she?"

He smirked "Yeah, you got me, but she's right. She's always right."

You nodded and he left closing the door behind him.

…

The days passed slowly. Each of them without news of Tony and Stephen was like an open wound in your throbbing chest. But it wasn't just the two you missed, you missed the movement in the Tower, Natasha and Yelena teasing you about your crush on Stephen, Sam and Steve talking in the hallways, Thor's laughter.

Without the Avengers, the Tower felt barren, cold, and frightening. You suddenly felt like the girl you were when your parents had the accident. Scared and alone.

You knew you weren't the only one who was feeling that way. Pepper also became increasingly sullen when unable to talk to Tony. He had promised her that he would try to communicate through the intergalactic communicators that he and Bruce had created, but something wasn't working as expected because every time Pepper tried to contact him, she was answered only by anguished silence. She tried to seem strong and confident around Morgan, but when the two of you were alone she looked tired and very sad.

You've tried to stick to your routine as best you could. College, the band practices, but at the end of the day it all seemed so insignificant and no matter how big the Tower was, the walls seemed to shrink in, trapping you inside just like the bluebird you had tattooed on your chest.

In those moments you found some comfort in music, spent hours at the piano composing and when you realized in a week you had a new song ready. Sad, painful, true, but when you tried to write the lyrics of you found that no words could describe the feeling that melody brought to your heart, so you gave up trying to force words where they didn't belong. You named the song Departure and you played it incessantly most nights trying to convince yourself that everything was going to be okay while at the same time being terrified that everything you knew might fall apart.

One week soon became two. Two weeks without news. You couldn't remember when was the last time Tony took this long on a mission. It was driving you crazy.

It was Monday morning and you weren't feeling well enough to go to class so you decided to stay home. America called asking if you had any news and it broke your heart to have to give the same answer. Again and again.

"He'll come back, won't he? Wong said he always does." America's voice was shaky as if she was trying not to cry.

You wanted to scream but you swallowed all your fears and so you replied "Of course he will come back. Everyone will come back, they are the Avengers."

America exhaled heavily, "He always says he's not an Avenger."

You smiled to yourself "Of course not. He thinks he's too good to be an Avenger."

America laughs softly and you were happy to get a laugh out of her.

"I need to go now, Y/n, Wong is calling me back to practice."

"Okay, go there little sorcerer."

You hung up the phone realizing that the magazine photoshoot was scheduled for that afternoon. You groaned throwing yourself on the bed and thinking of a million excuses not to go, but decided it would be for the best if you just went, after all it would be a distraction.

You were finishing getting ready when Pepper knocked discreetly on the door and then came in and sat at the foot of the bed watching you in silence.

"Did something happen?" You asked and she shook her head "Nothing happened. That's the problem."

You freaked out thinking Pepper was going to start crying, but she sighed and then said what was there to say "I asked Happy to take you to the photoshoot. I don't want you out there alone when everyone knows Iron Man isn't around." She sighed.

You shook your head "He'll be back Pepper. They all will." You finished getting dressed "I just spoke to America. She was very worried. We're all freaking out here."

Pepper nodded "She's such a sweet girl. Stephen is lucky to have her by his side. He always said there was no one to miss him in case something happened. Now that's not true."

You stared at Pepper nibbling the inside of your cheek. You didn't know Stephen said that. "America is not the only one that cares about him." You said without thinking and Pepper stared at you in surprise.

"Y/n..."

You grabbed your purse "I'm late" You said leaving in a hurry but she followed right behind you "Y/n, what do you mean by that?"

You entered the elevator "I really need to go" You said pressing the button and was glad when the door closed.

You were right about the photoshoot being a distraction. You felt very comfortable with Karen, the photographer and all her ideas matched perfectly with yours. At the end of the day, you were impressed with the results.

"Have you scheduled the interview yet?" Karen asked.

You shook your head "It will be next week."

"I'm sure it will be amazing . You'll be on the cover of the next issue, people will freak out."

"Hey Mike"

You smiled shyly. You were freaking out a little bit about the result. Though you liked it, perhaps the photos were a little... too sexy?

You thanked Karen and said goodbye. It was night when you left the studio and your cell phone was ringing incessantly.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you all afternoon!"

You sighed rolling your eyes "I told you yesterday that I had a photoshoot today."

He nodded "True, I completely forgot. Suzanne had some problems at home and won't be able to rehearse so I canceled it."

Thank god. "She is fine?"

"Yes, she said it was no big deal."

You left the building and Happy opened the car door for you to get in "Good. Thanks for letting me know. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Y/n…" Mike cleared his throat "I was thinking... perhaps we could go out for a drink…just the two of us."

You sighed heavily. You always knew Mike had a crush on you, but you never thought he'd work up the courage to ask you out. Anyway, now that it happened you didn't really know what to say.

"I'm not in the mood. Perhaps another day"

He clearly didn't like the answer. "It's Strange, isn't it?" I saw the way you two were looking at each other at your godfather’s party. He is too old for you. That's disgusting, Y/n."

"No Mike, it's not Strange, and even if it was that's none of your business. But if you want to know, it's because of you. I don't feel like going out with you. That's all."

Happy looked at you in the rearview mirror with a low whistle.

Mike was speechless probably digesting your words.

"Bye Mike, see you tomorrow."

You hung up the phone before he could answer. Happy kept staring at you.

"Not a word about this with your boss." Happy raised a hand in surrender "My boss is on another planet, maybe another galaxy."

 "I'm talking about Pepper.

He nodded. "So this Mike likes you."

You stared at him in disbelief "Happy... just drive. I want to get home."

...

It was Friday and you had just left your last class of the day when the phone vibrated with a video call from MJ.

"Hey, what's up? Still no news?" She tried to hide her own concern, but with each passing day she managed to hide less.

You shook your head  "It's been three weeks, I don't remember any mission that took that long."

MJ sighed "Peter is worried too. He's been upset since Stark told him to stay, but now it's more than that."

"I need them back MJ, I don't know what I'm going to do if something happens to them. To all of them."

MJ forced another smile "They'll be back. Soon we'll all be together celebrating at another Stark party and then maybe you work up the courage to tell Strange you're in love with him."

"By now I doubt he doesn't know, but thrust me, if they come back, when they come back that’s exactly what I’ll do."

MJ's eyes widened "What exactly happened at that lunch you had? You never quite told me."

You opened your mouth to answer, but you found Happy leaning against the car right in front of the exit gate. "Can we talk about this later? I'm going home. I'll call you when I'm safely in my room."

She made a face, but accepted "I'll be waiting. Bye."

Happy opened the door for you to enter. The drive home was silent. Even Happy was apprehensive now that the days continued to pass and you still had no news. Lacking anything to say, he preferred to remain silent for what you were grateful.

When you arrived at the Tower you went straight to your room and threw yourself on the bed. You hadn't realized how tired you were until then. You haven’t sleept well for days. You only realized that you had fallen asleep when you heard Pepper's voice.

"Y/n...wake up. They're back."

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

DOCTOR STRANGE MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

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[persage]

FORGIVEN- Brian Otis Zvonecek

Summary: You and Brian haven't seen each other for months, distanced by pain and resentment, but the past comes back to knock at the door a night like any other (but not without the help of Brett and Joe )

Warnings : Mention of Panic Attack and past abusive relationships

17.30 PM

"For the last time, Sylvie: I don't intend to come at any double date with... her." It's been about ten times that Otis has told her this, yet his friend hasn't stopped pestering him since the morning.

"It's not a double date!" Sylvie replies "You are just coming to the the Street Food Expo  with me, Joe and y/n."

"And I bet it's a coincidence that we are four people and two of us are a couple and then there's me and y/n. If this isn't a double date..." He mutters, shaking his head.

"Come on," She pleads "if you'll come, y/n won't be hanging around me and Joe all the time but at the same time she won't be in danger being alone at home. You know, since she has broken up with that asshole, Marcus, he follows her everywhere. He has even stopped by my apartment a few times, we haven't opened the door but it was scary as hell."

Otis tries to ignore the painful pinch in his chest at the mention of Marcus and the fact that he is now your ex. He tries to stop the anger that boils in his veins at the idea that someone could even think of hurting you. "Right, and you can't ask anyone else?"

This is not how he wants to say it, he doesn't know why words escape his lips like this. "No Otis, I can't and you know it too. You were her best friends, you still are." He shakes his head again, Brett nails him with an accusing look. "Come on, I'm begging you. If you don't want to do it for her, do it for me."

And truth is, Brian would do anything for you.

He has already done it, everything.

He has tired to save you for two years from that toxic and wrong relationship you got yourself stuck into, getting a door in his face and a broken heart in return. When Marcus has forced you to choose one day, you've chosen him.

"I don't even like the expo" He replies but now he's already convinced to come and Brett knows it.

"Pick us up at half past eight, be punctual and..." "But I do not -"

"Be on time and wear something nice, okay? You never know what can happen" After lingering for several seconds and insulting himself with at least fifteen different offensive expressions, in fact, Otis sighs and gives up.

"Alright then."

"Oh thanks!" Sylvie throws her arms around his neck, euphoric

"Thank you, thank you, tha –"

"Let's be clear about one thing, though" he interrupts her without breaking away "first: you owe me a favor, and secondly... You are aware that if this is a move to clarify things between me and y/n it won't work, right?" Brett giggles in amusement, pulling away but still holding him by the shoulders.

"Don't worry Otis, this night is for me not for you."

And Brian doesn't know why, but when Brett leaves a strange feeling pushes between in his chest and throat, something like an itch that he can not soothe. "But if you still want her, I'm sure y/n needs you"

This perhaps makes him feel almost worse.

9.15 PM

Friday night is almost as sacred to you as Christmas to your mother. Although practically everyone thinks of you as a pub girl, you love to spend Fridays at home, on the sofa wearing only a tank top, bra free, with sweatpants, a glass of wine and Marcus by your side back during the good old days, when he still was the guy you fell in love with in high school.

There was another time then when your Friday nights - but also your Saturdays and Tuesdays - were the Mollys.

Brian, to be more specific.

Your Fridays has been Brian at one point. When with Marcus it was all ups and downs, all messed up and sad and pathetic, you have found yourself there more and more, with that sweet, nice fireman you had slept with once, during one of the many breakups with Marcus, and who then somehow had became your best friend.

A friendship you've always  paid dearly for.

A punch once. A kick in the ribs. A glass on the head yet another time. Every time Marcus has remembered that Otis was still  part of your life, it has gotten worse. And you have accepted everything, without saying anything to Brian, because you were sure that if he knew that what you were going through was somehow his fault - of his texts and his calls-  then he would have felt guilty forever and you didn't want to. Also he was going to kill Marcus, and you didn't want that too. He would have tried to save you. Indeed he did it to be honest, after two years of friendship, after two years of lies and subterfuge, after two years in which you swore you had left Marcus so many times.

"It's really over" but then you always came back to him and Brian could only watch you self-destruct in the name of your sick love, of a life you didn't deserve, a man who have convinced you that you're worthless without him.

And that's how you feel now: worthless and pathetic.

Brian has tried to save you, even putting Antonio in the middle and reporting Marcus.

He did it without your knowledge, while you were still unconscious in a hospital bed, after Marcus threw you down the stairs.

A concussion, bruised face, broken rib and arm. Even that wasn't enough to make you give up.

"I fell" You have said to the police, saving his ass again one time.

"You didn't have the right" you have yelled at Brian, later, with an IV still in your body. He couldn't look at your swollen and pale face, he couldn't touch your cold skin. He couldn't accept that the best person he knew, the only woman in the world from whom he had willingly accepted a friend-zone because he would have wanted you in his life in any way, the person he called at the end of every difficult shift and  knew how to calm him like no one else in the world, you, his precious y/n were a mess of bruises, tears and broken bones.

In his heart he blamed himself for everything, because he should have stopped it, he should have killed Marcus, he should have asked you out after your first -and only- night together instead of waiting days just to find you with him again.

He should have understood sooner that he was the right man for you, gathered courage and stepped forward.

Brian could not understand that you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

"I can stand up for myself"

"Oh I. see it. Fuck I'm tired of finding you like this, I'm tired of standing still while you let that son of a bitch kill you."

He raised his voice and waved his hands in the air gesturing in a way that for some reason scared you and covered your face to protect yourself.. Your body instinctively reacted to the only thing it knew by now: violence and Brian looked at you with the biggest eyes in the world, scared of himself.. He brought a hand to his face, trying to hide how much that gesture of yours struck him, then he leaned towards you and gently as if you were made of glass, he embraced you.

It was the last time.

When you met again, Brian was at your door. When you met again, you had just discovered that no, he hadn't given up on the Marcus investigation and had continued to put Voight and his bloody cop friends in the middle.

"I did it because I'm your friend y/n fuck"

You opened the door just enough to see his face collapse as you yelled.

"Then maybe you shouldn't be. I don't need you"

It's been four months. Somehow you found the courage to leave Marcus when you saw him try to lay hands on Sylvie, one evening when she came by to see how you were doing. 

You've moved in with her, you've taken your life back in your hands . You've never seen Brian though.

"Hurry up y/n" Brett intimates.

"Take it easy, Joe will surely be late anyway" You reply, putting on your lipstick.

"There's been a change of plans," Syilvie says hastily, pulling on her black boots.

"Joe and Otis will be picking us up in a bit."

"When were you going to tell me he's coming too?" you scream, your voice  high-pitched, smearing lipstick in your cheeks in anxiety. You clean yourself quickly, so hard it feels like you want to peel off your skin and you try not to notice the way your heart has started pounding at the mention of his name.

You tell yourself that you can do it, that it's okay, that you're ready to see him again even if you know it's not true. For a moment a little voice whispers in you ear that you shouldn't go with them, but you can't: the idea of being alone still scares you.

"Please wipe that depressed look off your face" she begs.

"You know what's depressing? The fact that you have invited him because I can't be alone, at my age. It's all so absurd."

You shake your head, trying to smile

"Of all the people in the world you had to invite him? You couldn't invite... I don't know, Kelly? Dawson?" You ask, putting on your favorite jacket at full speed.

"Because he's your best friend and you miss him more than you care to admit and he's the only one you wouldn't be ashamed to tell what Marcus is still doing to you. Besides, I know he's the only one you could bear to spend some time with right now, he's special to you." she replies, bringing out the best of her innocent expressions, while you roll your eyes and just pray that it will end quickly.

You like less and less the fact that deep down you know how right Sylvie is: Brian Zvonecek is without a shadow of doubt the only person in the world who has managed to understand you, he was also the only one to touch the deepest strings of your heart when you thought it was made of stone after all the years with Marcus.

He has crushed your soul in a way no one had before and he did it with kindness and delicacy, without having to do anything more than be himself.

He has taught you to still believe in good people and in true love, the one made of caresses, of sharing, of sweetness.

You've figured it out too late and repaid him treating his like he didn't matter, like he wasn't important.

You know it's his greatest fear, being abandoned, being left behind, being less important to others, being the last wheel in the cart and you hurt him in the worst way.

No matter how much Sylvie and Joe keep telling you that it's not true, that in cases like yours it's a normal reaction, that Marcus has manipulated you for a long time, that Otis doesn't see it that way and that he will understand if you talk to him: you just can't look at his face now.

9.45 PM

"I still don't understand why I can't be in the front sit." Otis mutters, turning to look out the window at the Chicago nightscape.. It's just the beginning of the evening and he's already tired of the palpable tension between you two, he's tired of having to keep his head turned away because he can't bear the sight you, he's tired of feeling your eyes on him.

"Come on man. Sylvie 's my girlfriend it's normal that I make her sit here, Have you ever heard of gallantry?" Otis shakes his head. "Yes right, gallantry"

Sylvie turns towards you, she gives you a look to give you courage but you don't speak, you remain silent, you throw a few glances at Brian from time to time that he doesn't reciprocate and you are here, still, to torture your hands wondering if you should have stayed at home.

He hates you.

He hates you and you can't stand it.

When Cruz's car stops suddenly to avoid colliding with another car you are thrown forward hard. It's an instantaneous gesture, so quick, fast and natural that he doesn't realize it and maybe not even you. Not really.

In a second the fireman's arm is in front of you, as if to protect you, keeping you in your place, avoiding any kind of danger.

You don't even hear Joe and Sylvie's curses, you and Brian are still in your moment, still In the instant in which after so many months your bodies are touching again, and under layers of clothes you can both feel a shiver shaking your bodies .

"Everything Okay?" He asks, his voice shaking, realizing what he's just done. He withdraws his arm slowly, reluctantly. He hates to admit it, but he would like to stay like this forever.

This little contact, it seems enough for him and he feels like a fool.

A poor idiot in love.

You nod. "Everything fine?" You ask, looking directly at his face for the first time. You've missed his dark eyes so much that you can't quantify it in words, so much that the world exists only in his gaze and you wonder how you haven't realized before all this, how wonderful and big his eyes are.

How much you need his gaze on you.

He reciprocates with an intensity that scares you, that doesn't seem real. Marcus has never looked at you like that. Not even once.

Not even at the beginning.

Brian, he has looked at you like that all the time.

If he's still looking at you like that then maybe he doesn't hate you.

But then, as soon as he comes to his senses, his gaze returns hard, cold, distant, all hope is lost.

When the car starts again, he turns around and puts a distance between you two. The world is suddenly colder. He shifts his eyes to you, again and again, being careful not to be noticed.He thinks you are beautiful. He thinks you're beautiful and you seem better off without that asshole.

He can't help but be happy about it.

"It's going to be a long night," Joe murmurs softly.

I'm sure of that too, Otis thinks, still looking at you sideways.

He's never been lucky with love, of course, but with you it's something that goes beyond love, beyond friendship, beyond everything. Something he can't describe or name, but still hurts terribly

10 PM

Brian doesn't hate y/n, at all. He could never, not even when you  have decided to cut all ties. What makes him angry is never being able to fully understand you.

You are a mystery, even though he knows you so well. One second you're a strong and independent woman, the best he knows, the most talented, the liveliest and nicest, the next you're Marcus' puppet, silent at her side, submissive, afraid and dull.

Sure, it's not your fault, but he can't help but get angry to see how you let an ordinary man shut down someone as amazing as you, it angers him to know how little  respect you have for yourself to think you deserve something like this. No matter if it's over, Brian will carry this anger with him forever maybe.

Brett goes out of the car, clutching Cruz's arm, announcing that they're going to go for a walk on their own.

"No" You say instinctively. "I mean, I thought we were supposed to be together." You continue then, hoping you haven't offended Brian.

"We need to discuss something, then we'll catch up with you" Brett replies winking at Otis and walking away before he can reply.

Cruz doesn't know if his friend has the  strength to do it anyway. He is confused and upset to have you here again, Joe knows this and isn't entirely sure of Brett's plan.

"You're crazy" Joe whispers.

"They both need it, I can't take it anymore"

"You realize we're pretending to still be together just for them, Sylvie, you're crazy"  Joe shakes his head.

"it's crazy that those two don't talk to each other anymore"

Brian watches you, the way you bite your nails tense, the way you move your knee, and bite your lip. You are agitated and something more: scared. "Everything Okay?" He asks, his voice hoarse.

"Yes, yes, don't worry, it's just that I haven't imagine a night like this"

"And how have imagined it?" He asks. You shake your head, smile just letting your hair cover your face red with embarrassment.

"I didn't expect to see you Bri, I wasn't ready"And he almost wants to yell at you that you drove him away, and he doesn't need to talk. You know the face he makes when something makes him nervous, recognize it and remain silent. "I think we should go" he says he points to the stalls.. He starts walking then he stops and turns to you.

"I knew you'd be there, but it doesn't make it any easier"

You nod. "I'm sorry, I'd give anything to..."

The words dies in your throat.

"Me too y/n" he replies, hinting for the first time a smile under his mustache that you like so much.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat" he whispers.

You walk behind him.

It's not all solved, but it's a start and for now it already seems almost a miracle.

10.15 PM

You see him everywhere, it takes your breath away.

Marcus is in every shadow, in every man, in every corner and you can't help but tremble with every step you take. Your hands are shaking, your legs are limp and you're breathing hard but you don't want Brian to notice.

Marcus is in your head, just in your fucking head.

"Do you prefer ketchup or barbecue?" Brian turns to you, wallet in his hands, an almost serene expression on his face. It takes you a while to answer, to understand. You remember that you're at the hot dog stand, that everything's fine, that you're talking to Brian and Brett and Joe will be back soon and it'll be even better.

"I ... Nothing" You whisper, your voice trembles, your eyes move from side to side looking for something that can justify your fear, the shiver down your spine.

"You sure? Oh girl that's fool" He comments, giggling. You place a hand on his clutching wallet.

"No Bri, there's no need"

You don't want him to pay. It's not right.

"Look, it's okay. I'm still mad at you, but I'm also happy to be here and it won't make me broke" You don't even smile, you keep looking around you and you feel the air getting heavy, almost oppressive.

"Dude" One of the guys from the truck intervenes."Watch out for your girlfriend, she doesn't seem so well" Otis doesn't bother to say that you're not his girlfriend, he gently pushes you out of line as soon as he realizes you're shaking like a leaf and looking paler than ever.

He hates himself for not noticing it sooner.

"Ei ei y/n, what's going on?" You shake your head.

"it's nothing, it's All Right"

You can't tell him. You can't reopen this wound. Brian would freak out, look for Marcus.

What if... If he is really here?

He would put himself in danger for you, you know he would. You can't let it happen.

"I just need some air" You move away but Brian, quick as lightning, grabs you by the arm.. The gesture takes you back in time, where the hands holding you are not those of the fireman and they are not delicate at all but mean, cruel. You stiffen and Brian realizes it without you having to speak.

He seems to read your mind, he's always been good at it.

"Sorry" he whispers.

"You didn't do anything Bri. I'm not made of crystal, you can touch me"

You start walking again trying to erase the fear from your heart and he stops you after a few seconds, looking you up with his big dark eyes as if the whole world dependeds on you and you alone.

"Don' t look at me like this"

"Tell me what you have then"

You feel the tears tingling in your eyes when yet another shadow takes the form of your ex and feel your chest tighten and you want to die.

"Why? Damn Brian you should hate me! Stop worrying about me, I don't need you"

The man looks away, his jaw clenched and his brow furrowed.

You realize what you've said:

I don't need you.

You take a step towards him and try to grab his hand.

"I...I didn't mean...I" And you wonder how it's possible to mess it all up again so easily.

Otis' hand trembles in anger under your fingers.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"I will never stop worrying about you okay? I've tried and I just can't! It would have been wonderful to do it, to forget about you in a hospital bed bacause of that son of a bitch but there isn't a single, fucking day that I don't think about it and there isn't a day where I don't wonder what I could have done to stop it. And God, there isn't a day that I don't regret not making you fucking leave him earlier. For months I've spent every fucking second wondering how you were doing. So no, it's not about you. It's me. I, I need to know. Tell me what's wrong with you." He raises his voice but Brian doesn't scare you.

Come on, he's different and the way he looks at you... he's not angry, not really, it's something different and maybe worse: disappointed, desperate, scared even.

Terrified of realizing how his life depends on you.

"I see him everywhere" You confess in a faint voice, looking at the ground.

"I see Marcus everywhere and I'm terrified that I won't be able to figure out when he's really there and I'm scared of him, and I'm with you and he hates you so much and I'm scared he might hurt you. To you and the others and me.... I just want to erase him from my life but he's everywhere no matter what.

I left him he's everywhere and he'll never stop" Brian pulls you to him without thinking about it, as if months haven't passed, as if not a single day has passed. He squeezes you tight, you melt into tears with your face against his chest, sobbing like a baby.

"I'm sorry for how I behaved"

"Shhh it's okay, it's okay I know, I know don't worry I'm not angry. I swear it's okay"

He kisses your hair, kisses your forehead and every piece of skin he can reach and you've never felt as much at home as with him now.

"Marcus isn't here, and even if he was I wouldn't let him get near you, ever" This is exactly what scares you, but you don't say it, you don't have the strength.

"I don't deserve it" He shakes his head. "No, you don't deserve it. But I would do it anyway, even if you were the worst person on earth. And you're not" You smile as he slides his fingers through your hair.

"I think that Brett and Cruz have abandoned us"

"Actually, I'm kinda cold and I've never finished Galactica you know? " You confess.

He laughs, just moves away from you.

"You're so full of surprises" He fixes your hair and dries your tears with his tumb.

"Wanna go home?" He asks."

"No, I...God I don't know. I...I want to be with you. It doesn't matter where." You reply. You don't wanna rush things. The smile he gives you is priceless, you would spend hours looking at him like this, perhaps all the rest of your life if possible. You only care about him, the way he gazes at you and is so close, the warmth of his skin and the sparkle in his eyes.

I love you, you think.

I love you, Brian.

The realization falls on you like a Boulder. How can you only notice now?

It has always been so clear.

"Oh, seriously?" Laughs Otis "So how about we take a Taxi?" You nod smiling.

"As I said I need to finish Galactica"

"But you hate Galactica"

"But I love you"

[therealgchu]

alliterative WIP friday

so, i haven't had much of a chance to write all week. but, i'd been working on some stuff previously. hopped back to my main fic, and i've got some bits and bobs going on there. we'll see how it goes.

To the Shore lives here.

my other stuff is here.

sneaky with the peeky

They made their way into Ebbside, the dampness making Hwa’s hair curlier than usual. Sam could see the tension in her shoulders, and her lips narrowed to a thin line. She stopped within ten feet of the entrance, eyes wide and alert, taking in all of the sights. “It’s only been a seven months since I was here,” she said softly, “but it feels like lifetimes.

Sam stopped and took her hand, “I’m here for you,” and he smiled encouragingly, “for whatever you need. OK?” She nodded and continued walking. She led him to the sleep crates, and found the one she was looking for.

“This is where we lived when I was little,” she whispered. “Me, Mom, and Seong.” After a beat, she added, “It’s so tiny.” She walked into the crate and sat down on a dilapidated chair. “When I was little, it didn’t seem small to me. It was my world.” She threw her arms out, “This whole area was my world. Seong and I used to race up and down there,” she pointed along the railing. “We and the other kids would dare each other to hang off the sides. We were all such shits, scaring tourists.” Hwa picked up a small piece of metal and hucked it over past the railing.

Sam stood in the doorway, nearly blocking all of the light into the tiny cubicle. This wasn’t the first time he’d been in one; there were more than a few occasions in his younger years that he slept off a night of carousing in one. But he’d never had to share one with anyone else. He tried to imagine what it was like with three people in one of these things, but his six-foot frame couldn’t. He assumed that Hwa’s mother was about the same size as Hwa was now, and she and her brother were small children, but it was still unthinkable. He wrinkled his nose at the smell, a mixture of fish, urine, oil, and unwashed bodies.

“I was actually born in here,” she said, pulling Sam out of his reverie, pointing to the cot, “only we didn’t have that, but a plain mattress on the floor.”

“What?” Sam asked, shocked, “no hospital?”

Hwa scoffed, “We couldn’t afford a doctor. Not a lot of people down here have ever even seen a doctor,” she explained. “There are midwives, however. And, a good number of older women that might as well be midwives.” She stood up, “Oddly enough, the first time I saw a doctor was when Seong and I were dropped off at the Syndicate. They had us checked out, first. The Syndicate’s not interested in sick kids. Bad investment, and all.” She walked over to what was the “bathroom” and looked at herself in warped metal that was meant to be the mirror. “I was thinking about what you’d said about not being able to remember your mother well. My problem is I remember almost everything. Ironic, that.”

[justimagineok]

2:30 series - echo

Summary: One too sure, the other not that much. One focused on the present, the other too stuck on the past and afraid of the future. Both of them in love with each other.

genre: angst :)

Recommended song: echo by Alexander Stewart

A/N: feedback is always appreciated! feel free to reblog, comment or send me an ask at anytime 😊

"In my hand, in my heart

In my body, in my mind your echo

In my bed, I'm a wreak

And I'm trying to forget the echo"

Your Friday went by quickly, the day at work went smoother than you expected and could have sworn the sun was brighter. And no, that had nothing to do with you seeing Jungkook the night before and walking home with him. No, it had nothing to do with it. Haru had already left for the weekend with Jin, and with that you had the whole house to yourself. Even after these months, it was still strange to live in a different house. A house without Jungkook in it. It was totally weird waking up and going to sleep knowing you wouldn't see Jungkook for a second that day. Not physically, at least, because make no mistake, you watched all of his lives, and looped over and over again. It was your way of being close to him without risking it. No more passionate messages over lunch or video calls at the most random times of the day. No more flowers in the morning or cuddles at night. No more hearing his 'I love you' whispers in the middle of the night.

For Jungkook, it was just as weird as for you. The bed seemed too big for just him, so he decided not to sleep in it anymore. In a large apartment like that, there was no shortage of bedrooms, and Jungkook was content to sleep in one of those. One where you haven't slept yet. One where you haven't been. One where he couldn't see your ghost.

It was weird. For a second, Jungkook even thought he was actually going crazy. He could clearly see you walking barefoot around the kitchen, whistling some music you'd been listening to recently, and hugging him from behind as he prepared something. He could see your eyebrows rising when he forgot something important or when he got home completely exhausted from practice, clearly overwhelmed. He loved how you worried and how you always threatened that you would call Bang PD for a talk so that he would give more days of rest to all the members. You would never do that, but it was cute.

After arriving home from work and making sure all the doors were locked, as well as the windows, you sat on the sofa and ordered the chicken that you and Jungkook used to order. It was weird to put a delivery address different from his. You ordered your chicken, turned on the TV and were ready to rewatch his latest live on Weverse, when your phone rang. Probably Haru updating you on some travel information.

Except it wasn't Haru. It was an unknown number and being unknown, it could only be from one person. Or two, in your case.

Your parents.

You hung up the call and threw the phone across the couch, ignoring the way your heart started to beat faster. "It's okay.. they can't find me here.", you whispered to yourself.

The phone lit up again, a new call. You let it ring while trying to connect Weverse to the television. You pressed play on the last live, Jungkook boxing with his instructor, and he could barely contain his smile. How could a human being like that, so beautiful and so kind, exist? And how could you have lost someone like that?

'You're not good enough, stupid', you heard your mother's voice in your head. Ever since you left Jungkook's house, it seemed like her words, that started to dissipate in time, were getting louder and louder. You shook your head, as if shaking off the bad thoughts, but the damn phone kept vibrating, receiving yet another call. You paused the live and reached for your phone. 8 missed calls from the same unknown number.

What if she found out where you live? What if she found out? What if she finally came to get you? You knew you were a woman of fiber, with principles and morals, but when it came to your parents, you felt like a helpless child, at their mercy. Your palms start to sweat, and that's when you remembered.

“I’d come for you”

“No matter what, when you need me, I will be there.”

That's what he said the last time you saw him. That's what Jungkook said. Did he really mean it?

"…I don't care if we're fighting or if I'm mad at you: I'm still gonna be here for you, YN."

"If something like that ever happens again, I better still be your first call."

"Hello?", you heard Jungkook's voice on the other side, he had a tired voice like he was ready to sleep or just woke up. You knew that voice very well. "YN?", he tried again as you didn't answer.

"Kook… ", You took a deep breath, holding back your tears. The terror you were trying to hold back was finally coming to the fore. "can-- can you come over? I'm at Haru's house.."

Jungkook, who was in the middle of a nap, sat down on the sofa immediately, alarmed by your sudden call. He reached for his keys from the coffee table, but froze before reaching for them. 'Have some self-respect, man.', he scolded himself.

"No. ", he stated firmly. Jungkook was ready to come to you, but his pride in the back of his mind said otherwise. How long would he run to you, only to have you run from him in the end? "You can’t keep doing this, YN. You can’t just keep coming after me and expecting me to drop everything for you. I can’t fix everything for you this time, bab- YN. I don't know what's happening, but It’s your mess. Clean it up.",

And then he hanged up.

next

If you don't stop calling, then I can't let go

When you're drunk and say that you need me close

Please don't keep me haunted by your ghost

When you leave me, all I hear is your echo

[sushywritez]

Stranger Danger | Older!Eddie M. X Fem!Reader | Three

PLOT: Eddie is a loving single father and a busy man, he hires you on occasion to watch his child. Sometimes he wish he had the courage to ask you out, but one terrible weekend will prove to him he hasn't got much time.

WARNINGS: TW 18+ Guns, and gun violence mentioned, blood, slight gore, language, suggestiveness, angst, fluff, thriller, slasher, divorce, and adult humor.

Three Days.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were all Eddie needed. The event from this Thursday still held a deep impact over you, but since Eddie gave the news it had became less pertinent. Having the assaulter locked up was definitely a relief. Especially since you'd be alone with Violet for these days.

Early that morning Eddie hit the road, making sure to leave behind his special care instructions for Violet. Who of which, at the moment was still sleeping in.

You'd let her have her rest. The poor thing was up most of the night with a couple of bad dreams. Her night–terrors usually started up on weekends like this when her father had to go out of town. Being separated from the only parent was tough on such a kind hearted kid.

As she slept in you got some cleaning done around the house, even started a batch of her laundry. Eddie insisted you didn't have to, but you always just did it anyway. As the first load was washing you started to prepare a small breakfast knowing that Violet would wake any second now.

Three days, turned into more, and later rolled into a year. At this point he'd convinced you to become a permanent resident, from babysitter to nanny. Violet sure loved having you around more and she began to even open up more towards you. That was something you always loved, learning more about the energetic bundle that was Violet Munson. Now being a part of their daily lives was all part of your job.

Working for Eddie Munson was the best job one could possibly have. He was generous, forgiving, and all around fun.

So far things were going well on the cloudy afternoon. A nice start off to a Monday and an even better week. Currently you were seated in the living-room and scrolling through one of the many media services in attempt to find a movie. Violet had promised to sit and watch it with you.

"Wow, who woulda thought it'd be so hard to pick a movie." You comment, lancing over at the small toddler curled up beside you.

"Maybe a princess one." Violet suggests, pointing to the first movie with a princess that appeared in your list. The movie in question was Tangled, which had ironically been your favorite tale. Rapunzel was willing to risk everything just to have the one thing she desired most. Freedom and longing to belong.

"Yeah, sounds good." You ultimately agree with her, "Rapunzel is such a cool princess." Violet turns to look at you giggling as the screen loaded in the content.

Meanwhile

Eddie had been deep into his workload when he received a call ushering him away from work. Said caller was Chief Hopper and he had mentioned something about an emergency. Eddie had rushed through traffic, nearly causing an accident twice. An emergency couldn't be good.

Were you okay? Did something happen to Violet?

So when he arrived at the station and stomped through the door he looked this way and that before spotting an officer chatting it up with another. He approached them until the chief rounded the corner and spotted him. Eddie froze, "Sorry to bother you, Mr. Munson. Come with me?" Despite not knowing what was going on he followed him down the hall, glancing back at the laughing pair of officers.

Deep down it bothered him. If there was an emergency why were they just standing around? What the fuck was going on around here?

The chief stops abruptly and holds open the door for him, Eddie glances at the man and rolls his eyes before walking in. Hopper follows and walks right past him and plops down into the leather rolling chair seated behind the desk. Eddie sits up in his own seat and shakes his head, "Just get to the point. I haven't got all day. I got a kid and-"

Hopper gets comfortable, before he interrupts him. Folding his hands over one another and placing them on the desk. "Steve Harrington, escaped prison early this morning." Eddie's eyes widen, but then his gaze narrows brows furrowing.

"Who?" The artist is merely confused by the name, but then it clicks suddenly. His face contorts to anger, "You mean that creep? The one who harassed my Nanny?" Eddie is throwing his hands this way and that as he speaks, anger and adrenaline coursing through him. At this point Eddie kicks his chair back as he stands. Slamming one hand down on the desk, reaching forward with his left to grab the chief's tie and yanking him forward. "How do you let someone escape a prison?!" His vocal range was extremely shocking, but then again he was one of the best.

Hopper was shocked, but having dealt with Eddie in the past he knew his anger was only temporary. "Eddie." His voice was stern and commanding. "Let go of my tie." He recognized the situation and slowly let go, lucky one of the many rings he adored, didn't tear the fabric. Eddie backs off the desk. Hopper goes to straighten his tie and sighs, "Sit." His eyes gesture to the chair and Eddie takes a seat.

"I know you're mad. Which is why I wasn't letting the situation go by unnoticed, so I called you." He reaches for his hat and places it over his head. "Because, it's not jus Harrington who got away. He took Hargrove with him."

Eddie's eyes widened, "Billy Hargrove, the one who killed those women back in the summer of 1985?"

Hopper nodded slowly, "Yeah uh, apparently they're the best of fucking buds."

"Shit." Eddie muttered. From what he remembered, Billy hadn't really liked him and Eddie hadn't exactly wronged him. Well, maybe for the fact he screwed him over on a drug deal and he got caught and arrested that night. One way to harbor a grudge. "What's your plan?"

"I'm issuing a man-hunt. I've already sent two officers over to yours, so the girls will be safe. You got my word." Hopper reached for his gun and clicked the safety on, before holstering his weapon and standing. "We'll get them."

Munson Residence 12:45 P.M.

"Okay, so do you want some macaroni and cheese or some ramen? Your choice." You turn to the wide eyed girl who's all smiles as the two items are presented to her.

"Uhm, can you make it all fancy? The noodles?" She asked you.

"Fancy?"

"Like in the cartoons!" She exclaims throwing her arms up in the air. "They got eggs, meat, and some other stuff, it always looks so yummy!" Oh. So that's what she meant.

"Yeah, of course. So the noodles then?"

"Noodles." She confirms. You tell her to run off and play while you prepare the meal for her. With her father out of the house you could offer her something better than frozen meals and Asian cuisine happened to be your specialty. Which Eddie adored about you, cause those noodles were always so, 'Yummy'. He would always declare.

As you turned the stove on and placed the pan of water over the fire the doorbell rang. It shocked both you and little Violet since there was no way her dad could be home so early. She runs up to you as you exit the kitchen. Violet reaches out to you and you oblige in scooping her into your arms, slowly making it over to the door.

When you open it the intruders are revealed, two officers bearing their full uniform are standing patiently at the porch. "Miss (L/N)?"

"Yes?" You answer cautiously and they nod.

The officer to the left speaks first, Violet hiding her face in your neck. "I'm Officer Polinski and this Hank. We've been sent by our chief to keep guard of the home."

You bounce Violet on your hip and frown, "Well, may I ask why?" "Yes. Your statement led us to capture Steve Harrington a year ago, but he has escaped and our chief along with Mr. Munson think it best for us to stay and keep watch." Polinski explained and you nodded.

Your heart was going to fall out of your chest. That horrible moment coming crashing over you again. His eyes, his voice, and everything was all so clear to you and now it could happen again. "Please." You urge them inside. "Come inside. I'll prepare lunch."

"Thank you."

In the next town over

"You ready?"

"Ready as ever, Harrington."

Steve scoffs and rolls his eyes clicking the safety of the Sig Sauer he was carrying. He gives a nod towards Billy, who smirks and kicks the door open to the small off road gas station. Shocking the old couple to death and in hail marry of bullets and shouting they took what they needed and dove underground.

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[lantur]

I got home from Greece late on Monday night. Highlights of the rest of my trip,

Hiking 10 km along the caldera in Santorini, from Fira to Oia, enjoying views along the way. Eating an enormous waffle covered with Nutella, pralines, and almonds for brunch, along with a scoop of coffee-flavored ice cream, at a restaurant with a beautiful view of the ocean.

Seeing the ruins of the Cycladic Bronze Age settlement of Akrotiri on Santorini, as well as the accompanying museum with artifacts and wall art taken from Akrotiri. I love history.

Visiting the ruins on the sacred island of Delos.

Hiking to the top of an active volcano, Nea Kameni, near Santorini, and then visiting the thermal hot springs in the ocean nearby, sinking my feet into the soft volcanic mud.

Swimming, swimming, swimming, in cold, crystal-clear waters in Mykonos and Santorini. I had never swum in the ocean before and now it is one of my greatest joys.

GYROS! Fresh seafood! Fresh fruits eaten on the beach! The strawberries I ate there are the best strawberries I have ever had. I also ate a lot of gelato. So many good meals with so many amazing views of the ocean.

The trip was wonderful and it really helped with the healing process after all that I've been through in the last several months, especially in April and May. It helped a lot to - not replace the bad memories, because those will always be there, but to add new, beautiful and good memories, to layer on top of the bad memories, keeping them less fresh in my mind.

Lowlights,

Horrible long travel day from Athens back to Minneapolis, featuring getting detained by immigration upon my arrival in DC. Two (white) immigration officials claimed that "I did not look like my passport photo" or driver's license photo. These two individuals openly said that they were not allowing me to pass immigration "because I looked different, because my nose looked bigger, than it did in the passport and driver's license photos." This was the most bizarre and upsetting thing. I was shocked. I've flown out of the country numerous times and never had any issue re-entering until Monday. I was taken to a room and made to wait with no explanation. I texted as many people as I could to let them know what was going on, until I was stopped from using my phone. I was so distraught and almost cried in the room. Finally, a sympathetic (Black) immigration official let me go. It was so scary and upsetting, especially because I was alone, and coming off a 10-hour flight. It really rattled me and now I feel nervous and hesitant to fly internationally again.

I've been stressed af since I got back home. Catching up on work, lack of good quality sleep thanks to jet lag, feeling tired and achy from all the walking and hiking I did on my trip, and anxious because of traveling for work again today. I'm writing this from my hotel room in Iowa, where I am for a work event. I'm traveling again to Denver next Friday/Saturday for work.

I haven't slept through the night through all of May and all of June so far due to stress/grief/trauma/anxiety - only on the few nights I've taken a sleeping aid pill. I'm really hoping I can stabilize my sleep and settle my life down a bit in July.