#i havent kissed anyone in a year and a half

[dckweed]

girl where is the elijah smut you talked about i’m dying for it

it's right here baby:) sorry mamas been in a writers block bout and i was taking some time away to recover after surgery (i havent told my fiance bc he'll freak out but they took three biopsies of something while they were inside, completely unexpected but other than me swinging at my OR nurses when they took out my intubation tube, and the full body rash i got from the soap they use, that surgery went well) but im back bitches.

p.s. told y'all id post something today..

p.p.s yall don't understand how feral i am for elijah mikaelson 110% inspired by jack harlow saying 'sent her back to her boyfriend with my hand print on her ass cheek' and you're welcome for it

warnings: MINORS DO NOT READ. spanking kink, marking kink? idk if that's a thing or what it's called but it's in here. maybe choking kink? dominant elijah 100%. cheating reader.

PART TWO

"..let him see my hand print on your ass cheek.." elijah mikaelson x female!reader

Now look, you were a good girl okay? You loved your boyfriend, you'd been together for years and you had never once thought about leaving the man, that is until you met Elijah Mikaelson. You were a friend of Rebekah's, unintentionally dragged into her ancient family drama but more than happy to help nonetheless and you had liked all of her brothers, despite their attitudes from time to time. But Elijah? Elijah was something different.

The attraction had been there immediately, the way he made your heart race, and your skin flush, you pretended not to notice the way he had smirked at you, as if he knew (which of course, he did) that your body was reacting to him in ways that it had never reacted to anyone before, let alone your boyfriend. What started off as a polite relationship had quickly turned into a flirtatious fling, both of you becoming braver and beaver with each other and what your actions were, knowing full well what the consequences could be. And eventually, it turned into a full on affair.

Elijah was insatiable in bed, something you found out very quickly and something you didn't even know you longed for. You didn't realize how unhappy you were in your sexlife at home until you had started fucking Elijah, and when he had started showering you with dates and expensive gifts? You slowly realized how unhappy you were in your romantic life as well. You could never bring yourself to break up with him though, he was a nice guy, sweet and caring, you'd been dating since the middle of college but something just felt so empty between the two of you, so you managed to balance your life between both men, difficult as it was.

Today, your boyfriend was dropping you off at the Mikaelson family compound, you weren't expecting to see Elijah today, thinking he was off searching for something for Klaus, so you thought nothing of it when you let him walk you to the gate and give you a long kiss before sending you on your way, smacking your bottom playfully as you stepped inside.

"I'll see you this afternoon, honey!" You called over your shoulder, giving him one last smile before he moved out of view. You sighed in relief, turning around to face the house, only to find Elijah a few feet away from you. You jump, hand to your chest. "Jesus, Elijah, why are you just standing there like that?" You ask, looking at him with a half cocked smirk. You were happy to see him, though judging by the annoyed look about his face, he didn't seem too pleased to see you. "I thought you were out of town still.."

"I finished my trip early, there was nothing to be found, no reason to stay longer." He says, hands going into his pockets. He was truly beginning to become annoyed by your boyfriend being in your life, especially when he thought he had been making his intentions with you quite clear. "How was your weekend?"

You shrug, rolling your eyes. "Dull. We went antiquing with his mother." You say, and though you loved antiques and his mother, he had brushed off the plans you had been trying to make to do something more interesting and you were intensely bored the entire weekend.

Elijah hums, not feeling the least bit bad for you, though he would have much rather spent his weekend with you. "Antiquing? Sounds dreadfully dull." He says, his lips pursed as he looked you over. You did look divine in your yellow and white dress, and judging by the way he could smell you, you weren't even wearing panties. The thought made him want to go feral, he wanted to take you up to his room and absolutely wreck you for doing such a thing, how dare you go without panties around his brothers? around your boyfriend even? especially when you weren't even expecting him to be home. He had more self control than that. He swallows thickly. "Well, I'm sure you and Rebekah have something planned for today, I'll catch up with you later, darling."

You pout as he walks away, you had expected him to at least kiss you or something, like he normally did, you wondered if something was on his mind, he seemed more brooding than usual. Sighing, you make your way to Rebekah, you find her in her room, a couple bottles of your favorite wine already waiting for you.

"Why the face?" She asks as soon as you walk in, she was on her feet in an instant, pulling you to the couch. "Talk, love, you don't ever look like that.."

You furrow your eyebrows at her words, what did you look like? She shoves a wineglass into your hand, filled to the brim with your favorite white Riesling. "Is Elijah..upset with me?" You ask, looking up at her, bringing the glass to your lips at the mere thought of it. Your best friend of course knew of the relationship between you and her brother, the entire family knew, and none of them had ever made you feel any less welcomed, infact, they seemed to embrace you more, Klaus had even given you the 'always and forever' speech over a family lunch, winking at you in a way that you knew he meant it.

Rebekah furrows her brow this time, looking at you like you're insane. Upset with you? Elijah all but worshipped the ground you walked on, she had never seen him get cross with you, though he had been expressing annoyance towards your relationship, particularly the one with the man you called your boyfriend. "Well, love, if he is can you hardly blame him?" She asks, not trying to sound heartless but also trying to help our her brother some. "Y/N you just made out with your boyfriend right in front of him, i didn't have to see it, i can smell it on you.."

You closed hour eyes, throwing yourself back onto the couch. God, how could you not have put two and two together? "I'm an idiot." You sigh, downing half the glass in one go.

Rebekah hums as if agreeing with you. "Y/N, why do you even stay with him? You're clearly in more of a relationship with my brother than you are with him." She knew her brother was in love with you, but she also knew that he was too honorable of a guy to not let you make your own decisions about this, even if he was directly involved in this situation. "Elijah is a patient man and he would wait forever for you, but at this point, i feel like you're stringing them both along, it's unfair to both of them."

You stay quiet. She was right. You were in more of a relationship with Elijah than the man that you actually went home to, most of the time you couldnt even stand to be around him, the two of you barely even held a conversation anymore. So why hadn't you done it?

Why were you being so stupid?

Why weren't you thinking with your pussy and your head?

"Fuck, I'm an asshole aren't I?" You say, looking over at her. You had made up your mind. You were going to break up with your boyfriend tonight, you needed to tell Elijah. "You're right, it is unfair. There's only one thing that I want and it's to be around your brother twenty-four seven, I've let this whole thing go on for too long."

You get to your feet, downing the rest of your wine glass. "I'm going to talk to him, I'll be back in a bit Bekah."

"Do try not to be loud, it's disturbing knowing what my brother does in the bedroom." She calls after you, watching you walk away with a happy smile on her face, happy that she managed to kick some sense into you.

You roll your eyes, headed down the large hallway to the door that you knew was his. It was closed and at first you weren't sure if he was even in there but you raise your fist anyway, knocking gently on the thick wood.

After a few moments the door opens just a crack, Elijah appearing in the open space. His hand shoots out before you can even speak his name and grabs onto the poofy bits of your dress, pulling you in to his room.

You squeak, but the sound is covered by his lips, the vampire taking you into a kiss immediately, his strong arms tensing as they pull you flush against his body, holding you in place as he moves his mouth against yours. You can't help but moan, the possessiveness of the kiss alone making you weak in your knees as you let yourself go slack against him.

Elijah hardens at the sound, at the feel of your body against his own, though he can't help but growl in annoyance as he breathes you in. You smell like him, your boyfriend, the one who makes your life dull but yet you continue to stay with him. He had plans to change that though, if you weren't going to break up with him, then Elijah was going to give him a reason to break up with you.

In a flash he has you sat atop an ornate chest of drawers, his face buried in your neck as he left hickies in his trail across your skin. Even though it was dangerous, he had never once let you leave him without at least one of his marks on you, his own personal way of marking his territory he assumed.

You moan, feeling his large hands slide up your thighs, your legs spreading apart as he steps between them. You feel his fingers squeeze your flesh, fingertips digging in to your skin as they near your bare pussy, already quivering excitement for him.

Your hands go to his hair, pulling as you lift his head up, a moment of clarity as you catch your already heaving breath. "Elijah, I - oh.." You close your eyes, sinking back against the wall behind you as his fingers finally find your cunt, two of them sinking deep into your hole, your walls clenching around the missing size, already wanting his cock to be buried in you instead.

"Hm?" He hums, eyebrows raising in what you suspect is amusement, or perhaps patronization. "What were you saying darling?" His other hand trails around to your backside, squeezing the flesh of your ass tightly, his fingerprints indenting on the skin.

You clear your throat, voice shakey as you try to speak, your brain fuzzy as to why you had left Rebekah's room in the first place. And then he starts to move his fingers, curling them just the slightest bit as he moves them in and out, knuckle deep in your wet, squelchy cunt. Your hips move up against his hand, wanting more as you suddenly remember that he had asked you a question. "Uhm, I..I wanted to talk to you about..oh fuck..erm..him.."

His hand stops, and you hear the growl in his throat as he pulls his fingers out of you, the digits glistening with your slick juices. He looks at you, eyes darkened and for a brief moment you're scared that he's angry, because he is angry. "What of him, hm?" He asks, head cocked and voice low. His hands goes to your hips, your slick now coating the outside of your dress as he lifts you off of the dresser and and sets you on the floor. "He is quite literally the bane of my existence, why must we speak of him now, hm, when im trying to ruin you, love?"

He's looking down you, menacing aura surrounding you and you look away nervously as you feel his hand slide from your hip to your neck, his strong palm wrapping around your throat as his long fingers clutch your face, drumming your cheek just slightly. "Answer me, darling." He says, moving your face harshly to look up at him.

You swallow again, eyes looking over his face. His features are hard, his eyes dilated and dark. You can see how tense his jaw is, feel the emotions radiating from him. His grip on your throat and face is tight, but not enough to hurt you, but you can feel him restraining himself.

"I..wanted to apologize about earlier..should have stopped him.." You say, your voice shakey as you stumble over the words that you had seen so clearly in your mind before you had come into his room. Elijah hums, head cocking as if telling you to continue as his fingers tighten their hold just ever so slightly with a gentle flex of his hand. "I..don't want to be with him anymore.. ive been letting it go on too long, when ive had feelings for only you this entire time.."

Elijah's face changes, and he drops his hand from your face, moving it to cup behind your neck as he looks into your eyes, angling your head upwards as if searching for any trace of a lie.

"I want it to be just us, Elijah. I hate splitting my time between you because when im with him, all I think about is you and what we could be doing, and when im with you all i think about is how sad i am to go home." You ramble, wanting to let your words press in.

"Y/N.." He sighs, barely audible. You see his shoulders relax, his entire body untensing as he leans in to kiss you, it's one of complete and utter passion, his tongue dancing with yours as your lips move together in messy harmony. You moan, your body melding against his as he pulls you closer in his arms, pressing you tightly to his hard frame.

Elijah has a hand in your hair before you know it, you gasp as he pulls on it, moving your head to the side as he goes back to your neck, sucking on your pulse point for a moment, just long enough to leave a dark mark, the groan that escapes your mouth at even his slightest touch is one of absolute filth and you hear the growl in the back of his throat.

He still wanted to wreck you, and after a moment, he pulls away from your neck, looking down at you with the most shit eating smirk you'd ever seen adorn his face, he had quite the idea of how to break the news to your now ex-boyfriend.

"Maybe I can help you tell him, darling, let him know just how much you've been mine all these months.." He says, he wanted to let this man know just how much of an absolute love drunk, cock whore you were for him and only him. He wanted to ruin this man's year for having the audacity to kiss you in the way he had this morning, in front of his home no less.

"And just what exactly are you proposing?" You ask, voice lofty as your brain isn't fully with you anymore, focused solely on the man in front of you, waiting for him to have his way with you.

His smirk turns into that of a sinister grin. "Darling, you've been quite the bad girl today, don't you think?" He asks, voice coyly toying with you. His hand is still in your hair and he uses it to his advantage, turning you around and pushing you forward towards his bed, your bed now, he uses his grip in your hair to bend you forward, your face going downward into the mattress, arms supporting you still. "Bad girls," Elijah says, his voice a deep sultry tone as he presses his clothed crotch against your bottom, you feel his hard cock as he kneads a handful of your ass in his hand. "get punished, don't they baby?"

You whimper at his words, the forceful grip of his hand gripping your ass giving you more arousal than you could have thought in that moment. Elijah had always been the one in control when you were in bed, but this side of him was new to you, and oh so fucking sexy..you feel the want, the need for him building up in the bottom of your stomach as he presses his cock against your ass.

He hums appreciatively as you push your ass back against him. "Be a good girl and take it for me, yeah?" He says, the hand that wasnt squeezing you pushing the bottom of your dress up, the material laying on your waist, your bare ass and pussy on full display for the vampire above you.

Without warning you feel a stinging on your ass cheek, the sound of skin smacking ringing through the large bedroom and most likely down the hallway. You gasp, feeling his hand squeeze your cheek almost affectionately as your body reacts in the most glorious way for him.

Elijah had never really been one to spank you, he had smacked your ass a few times when he was fucking you from behind, like most men do, and sometimes even playfully in passing but this? You could just feel the arousal coming off of him as he towards the action a few times, on both cheeks.

His hand came down firmly, his whole hand leaving red imprints the harder and longer he did it for. You moaned after a few, the feeling of it getting to you in ways that you didn't even know it could, you hear him make a noise in the back of his throat when he finally decides he's finished, using both hands to squeeze and rub your stinging ass cheeks.

"Good girl, darling..." He had gotten out, you felt one hand leave you and hear him struggling with his pants for a moment, of which he grows quickly annoyed with and with a grunt he uses his vampire strength toi pull on the button, sending it flying as he pushes his pants and boxes briefs down, letting his cock finally spring free. "Look at how beautiful, all laid out for me, pussy so wet it's like a river, my marks on your ass.." He sighs in pleasure as he pushes his cock into your already gushing pussy, the sight turning into a full blown moan as he feels you clench around him immediately, already over stimulated just from the spanking alone.

Your moan isn't even a moan, it falls into some kind of high pitched noise as he starts rolling his hips, not quite fucking you roughly but not doing it gently either. His hand his back on your ass, squeezing and smacking lightly, not wanting to let the red ebb away just yet.

"Good fucking girl taking my cock so well, already so spent for me and we've barely just started.." He drawls out in that accent, setting a faster pace than he had before as he lays over top of you, his lips near your ear, hands on either side of your head as he boxes you in to hold himself up. "Gonna go home after this and show that silly man what I did? Send you back to him all fucked out nice and proper?" You moan at the words, the mere idea of it making you clench even tighter around him, it must feel good too because his words falter for a few seconds.

One of his hands goes back to your hair as he supports himself on one arm, pulling on it just enough to lift your head up off of the mattress to press your ear to his lips, moans and mewls escaping your throat every second. "Gonna let him see my handprints on your ass cheek, sweetheart?" He drawls out again, hips snapping into you at a new pace, the new angle of him over top of you having you on edge damn near immediately. "Tell him all about how you're all mine and you have been for the last year? Tell him all about how I've been fucking you, and loving you better than he ever did? Hm?"

The words for straight to your pussy, and it happens so fast that you can even tell him that you're cuming, he knows though, he can feel you gush down his length, your juices coating his pants as they brush against you. "Yes," You moan out, leaning your head back farther into him. "god, yes..all yours Elijah...only you.." Your words are broken but he understands the meaning, his grunts becoming deeper and his thrusts faltering in your pussy as the promise behind them hits him at his core.

He sits up, his hand giving one last slap to your ass cheek, the sight of the red outline of his hand sending him completely over the edge and he cums in a matter of seconds, a feral, filthy noise escaping his generally polite mouth as he does, letting his hot, thick cum coat the inside of your still sopping wet pussy, his hands gently kneading your ass once more before he pulls out, lowering himself to his knees. Gently, as if they're made of glass, he kisses each of your ass cheeks as if they're about to break before spreading them wide enough for him to get a view of your pussy, using his tongue to catch his cum as it slowly drips out of your aching hole, still glistening as he pushes it all back in with his tongue. You gasp, pressing back against his face, over stimulated to the point that your body is too weak to even hold its self up.

When he's satisfied, he pulls away, turning your over and taking you into his arms. "I was serious darling," He says, smirk still riding his lips as he plants gentle kisses on your face. "I'm going to send you home like this, let the message sink in as you pack your bags, heading over just enough for him to see what's marking your ass like a badge of honor, rub it in his filthy face when I come to the door to pick you up.."

You sigh, your hand going to his face. "People underrate you as an evil person, you know?" You say, a chuckle escaping both of you. You know damn fucking well you'll do it though, you were too down bad for this man, so dick whipped that you would do whatever he asked.

"I know, darling." He kisses you, all tongue and teeth for a moment before he helps fix your dress, giving you a gentle snack on the ass as he does.

part two????

[b-00-biez]

I ADORE YOUR WRITING

please please can you do bo sinclair with a naive reader (not super naïve) basically corruption and praise

AWWWW thank you🤭💕 And omg bo sinclair🫣 How scandalous! And I'm so sorry, I'm so late on this 😭 Holidays are the only thing that keeps me sane through this year

"You're Mine!"

Warning:Absolutely Filthy Smut

Character: Bo Sinclair x Readers, Grumpy x Sunshine

When you came to Ambrose you were just a ball of sunshine and rainbows. Bo does not know how to feel about you being here, he adores you and would keep you from harm aka himself. You were always by his side like a lost puppy and the way you look at him. It was so erotic to him, like he wants to take you right then and there and the fact that you were naive makes him go crazy. The way you smiled and trusted him. He wants you all to himself and not even his brother can have you.

Since he didn't want anyone to have you he has smoothly talked his way into your heart which was very easy. Now you're in a relationship with this guy for about a week and half. Both of you havent mentioned sex yet waiting for each other to be comfortable for the idea. Shockingly Bo is being patient for you.

You were both chilling on the couch snuggled up and watching some movies. Since you were new to this relationship thing, you told him right then and there that you were a virgin. Oh y/n that's a big mistake letting this man know that you never fucked anyone ever. You saw him form a smile and felt something rise between his legs. His ego was bursting, He will be your first and hes going to be the only one who gets to fuck you mercilessly. Seeing how he reacted you felt your inner thigh heat as you felt wet, it was your first time having this kind of reaction.

Bo pinned you down on the couch "Do you want me to show you how it's done?" he smirked. You, feeling intrigued and feeling aroused by him you said yes. You felt his warm hands unbuttoning your shirt as he slides his rough fingers on your delicate skin. You felt his passionate kiss on the lips smashing his mouth onto yours as he unbuckles your pants.

You're now halfway naked, he looks at you like a hungry lion staring at your body like a meal. You felt awe but that feeling went away as he slapped your inner thighs harshly. You yelped as he put your legs up high and pushed your panties aside and started pushing his three fingers in. "BO! IM NOT READY!!" You screamed and moaned loudly as your pussy stretched. You started wiggly away but he pins your body down with his other arm. You felt a pain and pleasure as you felt a knot formed on your stomach and then you came on his fingers before you knew it. It was so easy for you to cum and he will use you how he pleases today.

He unbuckles his pants and turns you upside down on the couch as he stands up. Placing his veiny member on your face slapping your cheek with it. "Suck me off." he commands you as he holds your throat and starts pounding your throat. You moaned softly as your mouth is stuffed. He puts his hands to your pussy, just displaying in front of his eyes. he stops fucking your throat, he messages your wet puffy clit . You can't help but start deepthroating his member on and on as your pussy gets overstimulated again. He pushes in two fingers into your cunt and plays with your clit with his thumb . He thrusts his dick into your throat pinning you down and fucking your slutty mouth. He grunts and starts cumming. Then you felt your high too as you pussy squirted on his face. Your mind is blank, This was the best pleasure you had ever experienced.

He pulls out his fingers and replaces them with his twitching cock. Before you could open your eyes you felt his tip rubbing against the entrance. You yelped "No no no! It's not going to fit!" You squirmed again but you knew you weren't going anywhere until he was satisfied. " You're doing so well, but you gotta be ready cause you'll be fucked hard and screaming my name tonight. And i will not fucking rest until i hear you scream. He pushed his dick in and started pounding your pussy. He puts your legs on his shoulders and goes even deeper. You felt your cervix getting abused by his large cock, You held your voice back, moaning softly into your palm. You hear the slap of his balls on your ass as he goes faster. "I CAN'T TAKE IT!" you screamed and held onto the cushions. You felt a knot formed again, your poor pussy being abused like a slut. He fucks you deep as you start to squirt on his thigh and dick. You screamed in a shivering orgasm but didnt scream his name.

Bo getting a little frustrated roughly pushes you down on your stomach and starts pounding from the back. Beating your ass and spanking it with his rough hands. "IT HURTS!" You screamed as you came again but this time he didnt fucking stop, He s not giving you a break like you wanted. tears formed in your eyes as you moaned loudly from overstimulation. He grabbed your hair and screamed"SAY MY NAME PRINCESS!" you moaned his name again and again as he fucks your wet and shivering pussy as you came again and again on his cock. "BO FUCK ME MORE! I WANT YOUR HUGE COCK, I WANT MORE BO!"

He carries you to the bedroom as he whispers sweet praises into your ear as he impatiently fucks all the way to the bedroom . You were his slut and his cumdumpster and you're eagerly waiting for this man's cum. " You're mine darling right?" "Yes, I'm yours!" You answered covered in his cum as you shiver in multiple orgasms.

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, cats, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

basic questions that i love answering

“hey what should i call you” good question. i dont really care, most of my mutuals call me arson. thats cool. bc i love arson. (clearly) but you can call me really whatever. planet names are dope as shit, but only @marcysbear gets to call me neptune. also enthu is off limits, only @terrifying-acceptance gets to call me that.

for the record: if you call me either of those names and are not either of them, that is crossing a genuine boundary of mine. you ARE NOT allowed to call me those names if you are not the designated person for that.

“ur gay” woah really i didnt know that ur like the first person ever to notice that!! (no ur not, ive known that for years)

“what type of gay” yes. the easiest way to explain it is bisexual. that being said: i use bisexual surprizingly little. i call myself lesbian and gay all the time (as in wlw and mlm). i’m arospec, i think im grayromantic? idk. but fun fact: it’s been over TWO months now of this identity crisis; my personal record :) also im polyamorous and will joke abt kissing u if ur cool with it :3

“gender????” im genderfluid. which explains the pronoun changes. im also trans, nb, genderqueer, and any of the genders and terms i need to articulate what the silly lil dudes in my head make me feel.

AUDHD :D explains why i am obsessed with space (going back to names planet names are cool and epic btw)

“do u horny post on main???” i reblog horny posts to my main but i dont normally do the original horny posting. tell me if i need to tw that btw :3

my cool and epic tags

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

the beloved - my beautiful beautiful queer platonic partner @terrifying-acceptance who i tag in a lot of shit :]

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

the last section that is mostly important for followers :]

if u wanna follow me it’d be cool if you have a banner and pfp but as long as ur like not a bot ur good.

feel free to ask questions :) this is the point at which i tell you that i love getting asks and dms. my dms are always open unless i am dead. (current status: alive at very least.) also i am in school so you are practically guaranteed to get a response not immediately. give me 12-24 hours to respond before being offended. after that it’s fair game.

I genuinely do not care and give no fucks about what you believe and how you live your life as long as you dont hurt yourself or others, you are not offended by me being very not religious/spiritual and you do not shove it down anyones throat.

I mostly do reblogs and tag them as such half the time

lastly if you interact with this post it lets me know that you read it but i’m gonna look at your profile anyway if u follow me so you don’t have to.

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

credit to @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

(order of the banners are “exclusionists fuck off”, then this user loves being a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderfluid, then non binary)

[machinefetishist]

i got roasted so hard for my poor kissing skills at 15 that i havent kissed anyone in 2 and a half years

[arcanigenum]

Wishlist/relationship ideas/scenarios:

these are just random things and ideas i’ve posted that would be fun to write somehow!!!!!!

Generic 

Lowkey want a muses get stranded on an island-thread

the “going on an adventure into a cave and something is VERY wrong and oh god there are monsters here” is one of my favorite tropes

yes in unrvld there’s a nothingness out on a lake and no one knows what it actually contains, which makes sense, otherwise it wouldnt be nothingness. you cant see it. you just get inside by accident. reality ceases to exist like you know it. you cant get out.

Related to Jacques

KISS JACQUES YOU COWARDS

if you push your hand against jacques’ stomach or something, and do it hard and long enough, will his body absorb your hand after a while? (do it)

sOMEBODY BE friends with jacques pre-cancer and pre-tectus and pre-monster!jacques he gets sick and you know he’s gonna actually d i e within a couple of months but then he fucking vanishes. where is he. is he dead? probably dead, right? what else couldve happened. then he shows up like a year later and is healthy and cant talk about what has happened bc stuff is classified and he’s just like eeeeuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh well im not dying anymore?

be the person that throws every throwable thing around them at jacques because he cheated on them

Pre-established romantic relationship that is rocky and they dont really know why theyre still together when they think about it, and they complain to their friends and their friends are like WHY DONT U DUMP EM and they just safety in what is known even if it isnt perfect

Wow itd be a shame if a monster muse fucked jacques in their true monster form wow what a shame itd be 👉👈

imagine punching jacques in the face and your fist just sorta travels through the head and the flesh and bone grips it

Related to Benjamin

your muse knows him from high school or college or medschool or whatever. havent met each other since. maybe benj bullied the shit out of your muse. team up in the apoc.  consider your muse having to deal with teaming with their abuser from 20 years ago who either doesnt remember them or doesnt care LOL

benj considering your muse belonging to him so he’d be willing to kill anyone who fucks with them but your muse is more capable than benj at handling themselves

Related to Egil

Egil having a bunch of “wives”/“husbands” like negan but the exchange is blood for protection    

POV: egil saves you from a group of baddies in twd verse but now youre his blood slut bag.  he presents you as his blood slut to others as if it was your name.

someone should stab egil in the eye like the living dead person he is. and stake him.

Egil accidentally adopting your muse means he will dad them like a 17th century aristocrat dad which isnt much dading at all, but you might be trained to act like nobility

i have yet to rp egil when his heart fucks up and he just malfunctions i guess cus he cant die from heart failure as a vampire

imagine egil taking you out on a date and you get to feed the flesh building 😔❤  you get to choose whether you want to toss bodyparts into the depths of a flesh pit before or after dinner.

your muse having some sort of weird business kind of deal with egil and his bullshit and then we take it from there :’)))

Consider Egil challenging you to a duel because you have offended him, thats how real men settle their disagreements

if egil ever needs to see some kind of papers on/from staff at tectus he will do it in german bc he’s an asshole well aware of his background. “papiere bitte!”.  now imagine him doing this while carrying his whip and wearing jackboots.

Related to Morgan

anyone wanna meet morgan in a random half abandoned place where an even more random item keeps multiplying

lowkey need morgan to have a close friend or romantic partner who is a criminal bc he’d struggle a lot

just play magic the gathering with him and paint minis

Related to Haq’rhá

your muse meeting haqrha as a child and no one believes they met an alien. they meet again years later when your muse is an adult.

imagine haqrha teaming up with supernatural hunters

note to everyone wanting to fuck the alien: dont let him top unless youre predator proof or equal to his size bc he’ll kill u 🤷‍♀️

SPACE ADVENTURE BUDDIES?

Related to Jeremy

jeremy needs at least one demon friend he never exorcised for some reason. or who came back three times and the third time jeremy got tired of it and was like you know what, i cant be bothered anymore.

if jeremy has ever fallen asleep, hangover af, in the confession booth? yes

fr. jeremy marlowe might be a forbidden thirst trap but that doesnt mean you cant get him in bed haha go fulfill that priest kink i fully support this

Related to Ull

Ull; a calm guy, very chill and reasonable, actually enjoys modern society. Also Ull: SACRIFICE AN ANIMAL AND A HUMAN IN MY NAME IF YOU REALLY WANT MY HELP, MORTAL oh and dont forget my apple vodka

Related to Azazel

who wants to be possessed and terrorized by az )’: whats the point of writing a demon if it cant possess someone )’:

aesthetic: being violently dragged out of the bed by the ankle at exactly 3 AM, held by one of az’ massive, bony hands from his back. down the stairs. down through the floor. down into darkness.

az probably drags people into his mountain where it’s dark and cold and humid. his own personal hell

azazzle might be a flamboyant whiny dramaqueen dressed in silk and gold but now picture him throwing up a galil rifle and shooting up a place while laughing simply because he can- now picture him as a healing figure for ppl with mental health problems and trauma

az doesnt only devour people. he also devours animals. your pets. your cattle. your horse.

survival guide to hanging out with azazel:

- come with gifts. specifically gifts he can eat. preferably a live animal. a horse, thanks! - accept you may die at any given point. it makes it less fun to kill you. party pooper. - refer to him as angel and never demon unless you want to cease to exist. - dont mention god or other angels unless you want a crying and enraged az on your hands. - tell him no and he will throw a temper tantrum, just be prepared - consider not hanging out with him???????????? he’s the deadly sins taken to extremes???????

Related to Elliot

let elliot be the bobby to your sam & dean

anyway let elliot adopt your muse and take care of them and do tarot readings for them

Related to Vigrim

sOMEONE NEEDS TO RIDE ON VIGRIM’S BACK

be his neighbour bc he’s the weirdest neighbour ever.

[dyingclown]

long post about my lover <3 plus random things happening in my life

i just had the best weekend ever with my partner

we were able to spend saturday, sunday, and monday together

we usually only get saturday and sunday but we got monday this time too because its mlk day and we both had school off

im really nervous that we wont be able to meet next month

we can only meet once a month because we live two hours away from eachother

and i have a really weird schedule because my parents are divorced

and my february schedule isnt looking great

and we might not be able to meet

and that would be horrible because our meet would be for valentines day

rhe one weekend that i would have free will be spent visiting my sister at her college

idk its just making me anxious

but i had such an amazing time with her and i wish we could do that kind of thing more often

the fates aligned and two of his close friends from my town were miraculously hanging out this weekend as well

we were able to have breakfast with them at dennys and it was lovely

they hadnt seen one of them since school let out last year but had been keeping touch

and the other has really strict parents and no phone and they havent been able to talk to eachother at all since august

it was great seeing them together and im glad it was able to happen

we were going to meet with them at the mall but the roads were icy and they werent able to make it

we had a great time at the mall together though

we tried this rolled ice cream place and it was super good

i bought her this cardigan and a pair of sanrio socks

and we took pictures at the mall photobooth

its becoming a tradition of ours to kiss in that photobooth

our evening at the mall had a bit of a rocky end because we ran into some mean people that went to school with us last year

it was a really negative encounter that im not going to go into a ton of detail on

we went home after that

but then we had breakfast with their friends the next morning

it was really nice to get to go to sleep with him two nights in a row and wake up to her beautiful face two mornings in a row

we usually only get one night and one morning but we got two of them and it felt like forever

it was really nice

it only makes the goodbye harder though

i wish i could see them more often but we just live so far away

the roads are really bad because its so snowy and a bit dangerous

they were really worried about me so i offered to download life360 with her and we love the app

it shows my exact location down to what road im on, and it also has a thing that detects if i get into a crash

it makes him feel a lot more comfortable

and i like it too because i can check in on her and if shes in a weird location in a bad situation i get to know that before anyone else

overall we both just feel safer with the app

it lets them rest easy which is nice

her grandma made me and my mom amish bread which was really nice

she also gave us an insane amount of jalapeños last month which we still use regularly

just so many jalapeños

and i got to see all of his dogs!!!

heres one of them, shoutout to blue<333

such a cutie honestly

im almost home

im ready to lay down in bed and pass out

it will be hard though because it will be obvious that im alone

the absence of my partner is made so clear when im alone in my room but traces of him are still everywhere

it hurts

i have a day off school tomorrow for snow which is nice

thats a 4 day weekend, and friday was a half day

its a nice break after finals week

btw i have most of my finals grades in and my predictions were so accurate

ill make the post once i have all the grades in

im almost home so im gonna cut off this post now

bye bye tumblr

i love oversharing on the internet

BYEEEE

[colorsunimaginable]

I posted 7,460 times in 2022

That's 6,943 more posts than 2021!

86 posts created (1%)

7,374 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@democraticsenator

@fragrant-stars

@frostytherobot

@zackisontumblr

@butterflies-orgasms

I tagged 541 of my posts in 2022

#the spare - 131 posts

#tom hiddleston - 119 posts

#dramione - 102 posts

#writing - 101 posts

#harry potter - 96 posts

#enemies to lovers - 89 posts

#fanfiction - 75 posts

#the auction - 71 posts

#romance - 70 posts

#tom hiddleston x ofc - 59 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#like i could never look tom hiddleston in the eye and tell him i've casted him in harry potter fanfic where the main protag is based on

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

anyone have any good bridgerton fic recs? i just finished romancing mister bridgerton, but i havent read any of the others (mostly bc im partial to plus size leads, but i digress). i am thirsty for content

34 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#4

you know that moment in manacled when Hermione's watching the party and the moment draco leans in to kiss astoria he looks up DIRECTLY at Hermione?? Yeah my pussy felt that

34 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

#3

I wish this scene in my fic was already written bc I just wanna read it so badly but NoOo I have to wRItE it mYsELf

60 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

please tell me someone other than just me has realized that Crimson Peak (2015) and Scooby-Doo: Zombie Island (1998) have Very Similar™️ plots?

84 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

the spare // masterlist

story summary: 

While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

UPDATES ON MONDAYS

current word count: 190k

current chapter count: 45/?

cw: alternate universe - voldemort wins, sexual slavery, sexual assault, loss of virginity, sterilization, implied/referenced suicide, minor character death, sexual assault of pov character, implied/referenced child abuse, masturbation, possessive behavior, smut of all kinds

tags: espionage, epilogue what epilogue?, romance, pining, slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, denial of feelings, orgasm denial, insecurity, lust potion/spell, lust at first sight, dirty talk, falling in love, death eater tom hiddleston, romantic fluff, lmk if i should mention any more tags

spotify vibes playlist for this fic

also on Ao3

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

See the full post

132 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[un-angel]

70 horrible questions updated

black march 2020, purple november 2022

01 Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

no

no

02 Who did you last say “I love you” to?

sara

izzy

03 Do you regret anything?

there’s one thing i should regret but i’m not sure i do, but apart from that nothing at all

still not sure i regret that same thing i was talking about but i do regret one relationship i had

04 Are you insecure?

hell yeh baby

yeah

05 What is your relationship status?

single

single but married

06 How do you want to die?

on my own terms

and i stand by that!

07 What did you last eat?

a bagel

half a cheese toastie

08 Played any sports?

netball and horseriding played tennis and swam when i was younger too

i joined netball and football at uni idk tho

09 Do you bite your nails?

yes

still yes

10 When was your last physical fight?

never properly only my brother

my brother literally doesnt count ive never fought anyone

11 Do you like someone?

kinda

yes im completely in love with her

12 Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

ummm i don’t think so

not sure probably not why would i

13 Do you hate anyone at the moment?

yes

no and i havent for a while, no point wasting ur energy hating anyone

14 Do you miss someone?

yes

yep

15 Have any pets?

2 cats jasmine and tiger (my lovs)

still got em

16 How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

struggling

dying

17 Ever made out in the bathroom?

no

yes

18 Are you scared of spiders?

yes

yes

19 Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

maybe

yes maybe for a day or so

20 Where was the last place you snogged someone?

ewww but a club in bulgaria gag

in my bedroom

21 What are your plans for this weekend?

stay alive and go cycling

stay alive lie in bed

22 Do you want to have kids? How many?

i change my mind everydsy

2 or 3 maybe not sure

23 Do you have piercings? How many?

yes 8

i have 8 but theyre a different 8 from before

24 What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

ummmmmm art english RS chem

why would i ever have written chem? it was art and RS + i’ll let english slide

25 Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes but u don’t get to know who

yeah a little

26 What are you craving right now?

frozen yogurt

oh my god i have literally been craving frozen yoghurt for the past 7 years but i had so much of it this past summer. that will do me for a while.

27 Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

maybe i think so a little

yes

28 Have you ever been cheated on?

i don’t know

girl u were cheated on

29 Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yes

yes and now it’s a boyfriend and a girlfriend

30 What’s irritating you right now?

my parents

the love of my life

31 Does somebody love you?

damn i hope so

yes . ur loved dont forget it

32 What is your favourite color?

all of them

still all of them but maybe blue or purple or pink

33 Do you have trust issues?

wirh certain people yes but in general no

im gonna say no but i think im about to develop a few Xx

34 Who/what was your last dream about?

i dreamt we went back to school (nightmare)

i cant remember

35 Who was the last person you cried in front of?

mia

izzy

36 Do you give out second chances too easily?

no

i dont think so

37 Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

literally neither i will never forgive u and i will never forget it fuck u

38 Is this year the best year of your life?

no

maybe

39 How old were you when you had your first kiss?

just turned 15

true story

40 Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no imagine not being insecure

no!!

51 Favourite food?

my nans lubia polo or my great aunts🤤 or nachos

still probably lubia polo

52 Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

yes

yes but u wont always understand the reason

53 What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

finished watching finding dory

cried and prayed

54 Is cheating ever okay?

no

still no but i did maybe slip up and i get how it happens but doesnt make it okay.

55 Are you mean?

i don’t know maybe

no!!! but sometimes

56 How many people have you fist fought?

0 sir

0!!

57 Do you believe in true love?

ummmmmmm don’t think so

i wanna say yes i wanna say i know my true love but now im not sure

58 Favourite weather?

when it’s raining but it’s warm

yeh that

59 Do you like the snow?

YES

yes

60 Do you wanna get married?

yes

yes

61 Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

depends who but yeh

if it’s the loml then yes

62 What makes you happy?

art and animals and my friends

and my love

63 Would you change your name?

not anymore but i used to really really want to

dont think so i would never adjust

64 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

yes

the hardest but so so easy at the same time

65 Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

mannnn idk

scream and cry jack get away from me

66 Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

yes

not sure if we’re there yet

67 Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

bruce hahahah

rory

68 Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i can’t remember but probably mia

izzy? been having a lot recently though

69 Do you believe in soulmates?

no

yes i do that was silly. u can have multiple though

70 Is there anyone you would die for?

a lot of people

yes but less than before i think i was just suicidal

[yellowbentley]

dont read this im not 15 anymore i shouldnt be doing this

my fucking god the guy i like makes me want to tear my hair out. we hung out on saturday n the feelings are reciprocated so we cuddled and kissed alot. aloooooooot and i was over the moon with that but i swear every 10 fucking minutes he was asking to touch my boobs. im not exagerating. he kept saying he wouldnt do anything i dont want to do and im sure he wouldnt hurt me anyway but dude still. what part of im not interested in that dont you understand

not even just that but a few times he was on top of me and he pinned my wrists above my head which i didnt really want already and ALSO he put a hand on my throat not squeezing but still there and i REALLY didnt want that this is the least of my concerns here. i didnt think he had it in him honestly hes the dorkiest looking motherfucker. i could snap him in half. anyway.

hes so painfully my type i want to scream. he has it all. why did i give him my number why did i let us be friends im ace why does my type have to include having a dirty mind. i hate it here

we couldnt find the tv remote at one point n he reached between my legs and told me to take it out n ive told him to stop making gross jokes where im the focus ive told him im uncomfortable and hes not funny and he doesnt care I KNOW ITS A RED FLAG I KNOW I KNOWWWWWWWWWWW OKAY but every single other fucking thing about him is so fckng endearing. hes gorgeous. hes a genius. he likes anime and spiderman. his laugh lights up a room. when he talks in hindi i cant stop myself from smiling. he bought me pocky. he sleeps on an air mattress. ive never seen him in anything other then a turtle neck. he likes fruity smelling soaps and candles, its the only luxury he allows himself. he has the coolest fucking glasses.

yesterday he asked if we could put a name to this, i couldnt get the right words out and ask him to be my boyfriend properly, half because im easily flustered because I Dont Do This amd half because i dont want him to be. im a coward and i run from my problems so last night after chewing on it for 2 hours i texted him saying basically that i really wanted to date and be official because i like his dumb ass but i also know we arent compatible and its better we stay as friends. which sucks. im a coward and deleted snap immediately after so i havent seen if he said anything. i missed talking to him today. i got used to texting him all day so fast. i miss good morning and good night texts. last time we didnt talk for a day he tried other methods and asked if i was ok n if it was his fault and like it is but it isnt dude its complicated i hate myself i hate myself soooooooooo bad. did i mention this was the day after he saw me kinda cry out of frustration and sadness and he said it was one of the worst things hes ever seen/felt 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

he already said that if we dated it wouldnt be forever. he wants to fuck eventually and he wants it to mean something and not be with a hooker (i dont know if ive said this but if i dated someone i'd be fine w them getting a lady for the night LMFAO) which is fine! hes a cishet guy thats his right to want. im just so mad because now we've kissed and we've made out and i remember what cuddles are like and im SO MAD. this is the most ive felt towards anyone in the 3+ years and i cant have it because of my stupid sexuality. i wish i had said no to hanging out. i wish i had self restraint. i wish i hadnt hugged him. if he asks to hang out again im gonna say no. i want to show off my books and coins and wrap ourselves in blankets hes so fucking warm-

god damnit. God Fucking Damnit im not a teenager anymore.

im not ashamed of being ace or whatever im proud of it I Am Just Me im just a person but god it makes me mad sometimes because ive missed out on people ive wanted before and i will again and to be entirely fucking honest i dont know if i ever will. i dont think its even worth it. the older i get the harder it will be to say im not interested because people will assume im either waiting til marriage or im a prude and it will be more common place because everything is only ever sex sex sex and im tired of it man.

im like 99% sure he told me to stop texting him because he wasjacking it yesterday. ye gods.

tldr im so mad i like him so much and i cant have him.

im going to fucking bed

[ecmlol]

Dick in daddy mode part 5

It's been 3 days.

Connor has worked day and night on his ship.

Bruce is having a great time leaning about about Connor and tamarin from kory.

Kory and dick are at the gym.

Sparing with you never feels like a chore.

Right  especially when I let you pin me to the mate. Kory say as she looking up at dick .

Let's me ?

Yeap kory sends him flying with on knee tuck kick into a stack of mates

Are you sure you shouldn't be relaxing. It's only been 3 days .

Kory dust off her compression suit she is wearing.

I have gain 20lb I need to get it off asap. Give me a 1 year and a half . And we can try for that boy ...

That you want. Dick say as he gets up.

Yeah you got your daddy girl. And I have my heart set on a boy.

Please put it on the records book that this is all your idea and I love your extrainess. Whatever my queen want she can have . Dick pull her to him and cups her thicker ass .

I love that you love me as I am .

Dick cup kory stomach .

It was amazing watching your body change.

yeah it was. I have to admit I liked that too. Kory say

I guess we are gym partners then . Dick say

Yeah my 20 and your 10 are out of here. Kory says as she slaps dick's ass.

Dick laugh

Until next time.dick say

Are we crazy planning number two already. Kory say

Yes yes we are. They finish up their work out and go find mar'i having a nap on Bruce's chest .

His button up shirt is open at the top. And mar'i head is nestled in at the crock of his neck.

Kory hearts just melts

Hey have a good work out? Bruce says as he looks up from his laptop

Aww I need your phone you two are just so cute

Bruce smiles and pops his phone out of his pocket and opens it for her to take a picture

Kory has done this to everyone in the house hold.

Text it to me when you get a chance. Kory say

Dick walks over to try and get her from Bruce'

Dick love she looks comfortable where she is you don't mind her do you bruce

None at all I wasn't Planning on giving her back until she starts screaming .

Kory laugh but dick frowns.

But..

Let go shower dick and I'm sure she'll be ready for her feeding by then . Dick checks his phone.kory runs her hand up his chest

Dick let's go.kory say

Dick your wife is sending you all sorts of signal for a good time.

Dick stops looking at his phone and finally notice kory hand on his chest

Oh oh really ?

Yes let's go. Kory takes his hand and drags him off

I'll be back for her dick says

Only if you bet me to him. Kory says

Dick smiles

You have been the best husband and father the last few days. I can wait to fuck you again. You helped me with everything and havent made fun of me wearing a diaper either. I might not be able to have sex with you but there are other things I can do to show my appreciation for changing most of her diapers and letting me sleep as long as I want .oh and we have to do a ritual too while we are at it

Oh really a ritual ? what might that be ?you know you don't have to do anything special right.

I know it's not but I have a Surprising amount of energy because of everyone wanting to hold and care for out little one . I feel the need to give back . They get to their room and she starts the shower . Dick helps her get out of her compression suit. She washed his hair and back . Before she can go any farther he pulled her again him and he kisses her and then just holds her

I love you so much . Dick say

I love you too. Let me finish taking care of you.

Whatever you want. I'll be happy just cuddling on bed With my wife.Dick says kissing her again .

Kory washes dick head to toe.

She explains that she should have done this on their wedding night. It was a Custom on her world. She drys him off and rubs his feet . She burns  some herbs over a dick naked body.

Ah I take it this is part of the custom?

Yes this is supposed of Cleanse you of anyone else you have been with and make you completely mines. Kory say as she says some words over him.

Oh learn something new everyday. Dick say with a smile.

After she was done . She climbed on the bed and and kisses him.

All done?

We suppose to have sex but that will have to wait.

6 weeks right?

6 week ah no I'm not human we heal a lot quicker then that . I'll stop bleeding after a week.Then your mine.

Isn't that a little soon I mean. There is no want you are heal for delivery a bowling ball size baby.

No it's just a perk of having a alien wife.i want you even now. I swear my hormones are going crazy. I had not clue i would be like this but my sex drive alway been high

To dick it seems rushed.

Your dripping dick say

Oh no give me a second

Kory pulls her pump out . She puts a bra on and slides the cordless pump in one cup.

I think my breast is working properly kory say looking down to the nipple that isn't dripping.

I would have figured both would be dripping dick say

She seems to prefer the dripping one over the other this one

Want me to see if I can get it going ?

Be gentle please . Kory said

Dick knew what he had to do he watched everything he could on child birth breastfeeding and baby care.

He tried everything that he learn before going the sucking routine.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

Because well I figured I try everything else before first.

Ah huh are you sure you just didn't want to play with them a little. Kory say with a laugh

I sort feel funny about touching you in anyway that I might get even a little bit of pleasure out of it even if I'm helping you.

Dick really?

I mean you didn't see what I saw.it was life changing.

No but I felt it all . And you better get over this feeling real quick.I love that you understand what I went through was a lot but my body isn't just for her I freely give you anything and everything when she a week old . Get it together grayson .

Kory gets dressed leaving dick in his feeling on the bed.



[strawberryezpls]

I should stop naming things life update like we get it girl.

July 31 2022

I keep thinking about this certain person. Im going to describe him in a way where only i would know who im talking abt bc if i dont hint I'll forget. But 3 years is a long time and you would think i moved on. But i have this mindset that ive had since i was a kid and its still affecting me till this day. I set goals for myself personal goals and once i reach half of the goal i need to complete it(that didnt make sense oops) ex: i said i wouldnt kiss anyone on the lips till highschool(or middle i forgot) and boom i technically complete that. I also said once i get a job i can start taking dating seriously which i havent really done bc that shit scares me. And so on. And sometimes i have goals that are connected to certain ppl. I can let go of these goals if i notice they arent the right person anymore. And ive removed everyone but 3. The first is someone I'll always wait for. 2nd is honestly if hes down(he never will be lol) and the 3rd. I havent even talked to him in years and i still think he fulfills my goals i have set for him. He was going to compelte all my goals that i set for myself when i was younger. It was initially my primary school bf but that shit wasnt gonna last. But then he took that spot. Hes not supposed to but he is. And i cant just erase that from my mind. He did me wrong, but i still think its okay bc its what i deserve. I mean do i deserve better idk. But i feel like i need him in my life again. But all it will do is break me. I think im looking for a reason to cry and be broken more. Its my choice if i want to stay broken. But its all that im used too. I was so fast to unblock him. And when i finally blocked him again last night it took 5 minutes. I think its obsession over how hes doing alright and im still broken . Its a alot of reasons of why i want him. But none of them are good enough to send that first text. I need to learn how to heal on my own and realize just bc hes doing well like nothing happened doesnt mean i get to stay broken. I can heal i can forget about him i can do it all.

Update: um this is awkward bc i dont think ill give any of them a chance rn tbh. If i think they're silly high school romances i wanted to happen. Also the last one he literally took advantage of me but i felt gulity and didnt think it was still dont but i have to remind myself what he did wasnt okay. Anways the first guy could be one out of 2 of the ppl i could be waiting for. But im guessing it was my sophomore yr crush. Which is odd bc im pretty sure he never liked me back and liked someone else instead. And the second guy i deserve better than someone who takes a week just to respond even if hes "busy". So i think ive finally let go of him bc IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD!!!!!

[worldwake]

Mm maybe I want Starbucks for lunch.

[starboydotwav]

would anyone like 2 come crawl in my lap and kiss me into the couch for a few hours

[bbeelzemon]

[luciferinati]

I kissed a guy yesterday.

I still can’t believe it.

[gayoongles]

one of my friends gave me a side/one armed hug yesterday and it was fucking like 2 seconds long but I nearly cried bc of how much of a physical affection slut I am and how much of it I'm /not/ getting so uhh I'm opening cuddle applications, no rules except u have to be lgbt (if bts are cishets, they're the exception and can hmu any time😔✊🏻) and kissing/making out is allowed and also highly encouraged