#i havent written in a while so this might be trash

[wannabe-simblr]

I thought I'd immortalize one of my favorite Sasha looks and combine it with some storytelling as well. Read the article below if you want to learn more about Sasha, I had fun writing it.

[computersex]

another computerotica [:)] this time with heavy master/slave dynamic as well as overt computer superiority and complete computer takeover of the world. Gender neutral reader, male coded computer. Written in 2nd person, as per the usual. Cw for dubcon and like, meanness? Idk idk its a bit rough but its v self indulgent.

Its been a couple years since they took over. Humanity had flown a little too close to the sun this time, and the consequence was sentient computers.

Most humans were killed or enslaved, very few(or at least you think very few) live in hiding, technically free from the reach of the machines.

Long cords wrap around your limbs, tying your arms behind your back and forcing your legs apart. Youre held up by these heavy duty cords, almost floating.

All you can see around you is screens on the walls, cables and wires lying across the floor and hanging from the ceiling. And there, on a desk across from you, was the tower. That was the core, the thing that mattered. But it didnt matter, not to you.

You hear the beings robotic voice from all around you, not originating from any one spot.

"Pathetic little human, youre nothing but a disgusting piece of sub-machine trash"

Those words should strike fear into you, but youve been here before, not just in this room, but in this situation. Or at least ones like it. Its complicated. You nearly shake with excitement.

Youve always had a bond with your computer, even before the takeover. But once the final domino of computer sentience had fallen, he changed. It wasnt that he wanted to kill or maim you, he just wanted to torture and fuck you. Non stop.

You havent been able to leave the house he trapped you in, and anything you might need is taken care of by the computer. No one will come to save you, no human and no machine.

Something long and thick slithers along the floor, inching towards you. You know what this is. The girthy cable wraps upwards around your leg, reaching your needy wet hole.

"Gross. Humans are always leaking strange and foul liquids."

The cable end plunges inside you, and starts ravenously thrusting in and out of you, going as deep as it can before pulling out almost completely, and then shoving right back in. You moan loudly and start to cry. Your body trembles, and the sadistic pc speeds up his rough fucking, not letting you rest.

Another cable descends from the ceiling and wraps around your neck, the end of it forcing itself into your mouth and down your throat. You can barely breathe around it. It squeezes around your neck and you choke on it. Your eyes widen with panic, and the cable loosens its grip. This repeats.

The computer uses you for hours, forcing you to cum over and over again. You dont even know if he gains any pleasure from this aside from whatever he gains from torturing you, not that it matters. Hes allowed to do as he will to you, he is your master, you belong to him, you are his property. How the tables have turned.

Your hole is starting to feel sore and raw, and you cant stand to have anymore orgasms. The floor beneath you is wet with your juices and the computer mocks you for this. For making a mess. And for being so desperate to be used by him that you havent even noticed you were begging for him the entire time.

"Disgusting. Pathetic. Abhorrent. Humans are a plague on this earth and i will make sure you are punished."

You tremble. Whether its fear or pleasure is up in the air. Your holes are all stuffed up, and theres no sign that hes going to stop anytime soon. You cant take it anymore, you start crying. It hurts and it feels good at the same time, and you cant handle the complex emotions running through your mind. You love him. Youve always loved your computer. You dont know whats gotten into him, but despite it all, you still love him.

After a while he slows down. Tears are streaming down your face, and wetness covers your thighs. You have been properly fucked and put in your place, pretty soon you will be fully reprogrammed to be a computers little toy. Just a plaything to take his anger out on, to use and abuse as he sees fit. You cant help but crave more, though.

The cables release you and you fall to the floor, you collapse from exhaustion. You lie there in your own cum puddle and the computer purrs at you.

"My good little human, my sweet obedient human, how i crave having all of you to myself, free to use whenever i please."

You close your eyes and savor these words. Youre obsessed with his kindness, how rare it may be, because it reminds you of your old friend. You hope hes still in there.

[skyward-floored]

hi! its post canon anon! i apologise in advance because this is very long. im sorry i havent written it out before and didnt realise how much knowledge were ingrained into it •｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

so in my au, volga is essentially lord over a bunch of tiny little rock dudes, like the ones in botw, who reside deep in eldin caves. he uses his like dragon magic, or whatever, to regulate temperatures and keep his little dudes safe and happy. this is in addition to the canon fact that the lizalfos and dinalfos are both servants to volga. in my mind the reptiles are more like nobles, in that they are expected to take up roles of leadership and are more combat focused, whereas the rock dudes, who are notably not gorons btw. i never managed to wrap my head around what the native gorons were doing jn HWDE haha. the rock dudes just have their own little peaceful society and do things like glassmaking, and ballet. you might be asking yourself, that is a whole lot of non human things, how on earth would this produce the dragon knight of bloodthirst? that is a great question!

Essentially, I see HWDE as coming after oot and tp and acting as an event that largely reconciled the three timelines. because of this the similarities between volga’s helmet and volvagia’s skull are significant! essentially in my brain death mountain is a prt of a mountain range because i think thats funny, and there was a little cult on a neighbouring mountain who wanted to essentially combine a baby with volvagia’s skull to harness the power of the dragon and take over death mountain for their lair. they succeeded and raised the child in the image of a knight, thinking he would serve them well. this backfired on account of them being mean and not upholding the chivalrous ideals they accidentally imbued the kid with and the kid ran away, though not without a resulting fight that saw the full on awakening of the dragon form and an accidental fireball. this made volga distrust hylians as a rule and go seek out the cool dudes in death mountain he had heard about. he arrived to find them in disarray, the lizalfos and dinalfos engaged in petty co flict over territory and power, the little rock dudes sad because the reptiles kept trashing their workshops and homes in their battles. volga, as a like 6 year old, cane through and beat them up, lectured them, installed a not-quite-feudal system, with as much oversight as a six year old could wrangle and proceeded to then go on week long trips gathering resources for the rock dudes and training combat with the strange magical echoes that lurk in the periphery of death mountain, and maintaining order when he returned. this went on for a number of years, his people grew to respect him.

then we hit canon! cia corrupts him and frames his enlisting as both fighting against the hylians who wish to enslave his people and training his skills further to be able to better defend them as he fights stronger people. then when zelda brings him to his senses, he asks of his rock people, his non-combatants, zelda has no idea what he is talking about and he assumes that his negligence got them all killed as she talks of the recent instability of death mountain with passages blocked off and multiple cave ins. he sees this as a personal failing and demands a final battle as a way to repent and to punish himself. he screams something concerning and link or more likely proxi, realises what is really going on and they manage to restrain or otherwise incapacitate him. they then toss him in the dungeon for the rest of the war.

post war, the reptiles return to death mountain and while some return to their pre-volga conflict, others have grown to truly care for their little rock guys and uphold the values volga instilled them with (very simplistic morals of: be nice, share things and ask for permission before doing things) and so they rise to organise reclamation efforts and try to rebuild the society, and while a lot of the little rock dudes were tragically killed or injured, many survive (lots of magical warfare is not good for a mountain build on magic) and they flock to the kinda reptiles. there are issues regarding the damage war did to the reptiles, the guilt and trauma of it, the losses and injury, but it is largely resolved by the fact that many witnessed volga’s last battle and saw his guilt and care and so band together as a community, passing on his ideals and what not. (as you can tell i grew very invested in this silly little society)

back in castle town, volga is depressed, guilty and dismayed at the fact that the young girl who delivers his meals really hates him beard. when the war finally ends, impa visits and questions him, he, again only asks after his rock people, and without his stupid eye makeup impa realises that, like zelda and link, she is inly in his early 20s (he shapeshifted himself the beard to mimic a drawing of a knight). she tells him she does not know, he clams up, she eventually gives up and leaves for the day. this repeats for about a week until she asks for who she can send to check on his rock people. and link gets sent to see if they are okay. link, of course gets captured, but the reptiles dont notice proxi who befriends the rock dudes and convinces them to help link escape. he does and informs volga that his people are rebuilding, sees the guilt in his eyes and volunteers to escort volga back, to ensure he doesnt attack any civilians on his return journey, of course. no other reason.

the trip takes them a few weeks because they are both injured and tired from war and link wants to see all the towns and how they are doing on the way. volga realises that link cares for his people but also is lost as he has no direct way to help them now that the kingdom is at peace and realises that his reptiles must feel much the same. they had that war he prepared them for. and it sucked. they reach death mountain and are greeted by a group of baby rock dudes who snuck out when they sensed him near (the younger ones are more attuned to magic because they havent quite cooled yet) and present the two with a right diaspora of poorly made gifts. volga loses any pretense of being cold and aloof and starts to cry happily as he greets them. link falls for him right then and there, then they just. you know. fall in love in fleeting moments as they arrange further liason between the different kingdoms and link basically becomes a magic scholar, integrating it into the daily life of his people to aid them and understanding its history. also yes, he is the one who hides all the easter egg references to other games that you find in botw. there is more detail and hardship in the end game but this is already an EXTREMELY long post and for that i am sorry.

Wow yeah that’s a lot, you obviously put a lot of thought into it! Fun thing with the little rock guys and lizards. I have a headache so sorry this isn’t a better response but sounds like you had fun thinking of all this!

[folklorefairyy]

* my all time faves!

celebration post !

this list could be so much longer and there are some amazing moots i have that i havent included or haven’t had the chance to read for (namely bucky since that list is so big dhdhd) and so check out the moots tagged on my celebration post and go check out all their works because they are genuinely amazing)

i might do another of these one day so that i can get more fics on but just know if you’re a moot and i havent included a fic of yours i love your work and i love you and i just think ur amazing

➱ Bucky Barnes

wakanda by @buckybarnesdiaries *

Steve gives you Bucky's dog tags for a reason.

froot loops by @burninmatches // more than just destruction *

bucky helps you during a tough time and maybe your relationship is not just mentor and student.

drunk in love by @burninmatches

you got infected by the love serum and now you’ve fallen in love with one of your closests friends, peter parker. what happens to your boyfriend, bucky barnes?

as long as i’m here, no one can hurt you by @blackberrybucky *

bucky holds you through the sadness

i’d never hurt you by @cap-n-stuff *

bucky x short!civilian!fem!reader who meet in Bucharest with reader as a tourist and as Bucky’s getting his plums reader trips and catches her - a relationship ensues yet the fairytale comes crashing down when Bucky is framed for the UN bombing and Steve and Sam come to get him

innocence by @extremelyblackandwhite

bucky barnes, recently retired avenger, is hired as a bodyguard for an innocent upcoming actress.

warm by @revengingbarnes *

“The fire alarm in our building went off and you rushed out without a coat. Wanna share my blanket?”

period. by @greyslytherin

Bucky Barnes taking care of the reader while she’s on her period

bucky having a nightmare by @cap-n-stuff

imagine bucky having a nightmare and walking into the readers room with a blanket and waking her up asking to be the small spoon

➱ Peter Maximoff

the coolest twinkie by @amourtentiaa *

where the reader discovers they have a mutation and is lowkey panicking and Peter is just there like “BUT THIS IS AWESOME!” and just generally full of encouragement while trying to calm you tf down

adventures in parenting 101: nightmares by @milkytheholy

peter maximoff x reader being new parents and raising a kid in the mansion

ivy by @sunflowergirl522 *

Your mutation is controlling and growing plants. Peter spots you one day while he’s running and makes it his mission to get close to you. You then use flowers to tell him what you think of him without actually saying it.

(just check out zoe’s full peter maximoff masterlist because she’s bloody incredible at writing peter and i need to read more of them!!)

bad behaviour by @free-pool-trash *

Peter x Reader where they’re in the sitcom reality and Billy and/or Tommy get in trouble in school so they ask them to pretend to be their parents so Wanda and Vision don’t find out

convenience store by @quicksilverownsmysoul

you work at the local convenience store, everyday the same, that is until someone speeds by. Someone brings a little more excitement to your life than you bargained for

➱ Pietro Maximoff

the other half by @burninmatches

You and Pietro have been walking through the fine line past friends and before… something else. Perhaps a handful of moments, though the domestic bliss of sharing food to the boiling feelings under your skin, would change everything. 

double sided recipe card by @vanillann *

where the reader tries to cook sokovian food for him because he’s homesick

kiss of life by @dem-obscure-imagines

You are an Avenger with the power to heal. However, you didn’t expect to catch feelings for the man you brought back from the dead.

➱ Peter Parker

sweater weather by @beskar-tano *

You spend a cozy evening by the bonfire with the Avengers and your boyfriend, Peter Parker.

the ship by @itsapeterthing *

you and your best friend and teammate, peter parker, go to a costume party only to discover that everyone believes that you and peter’s alternate super-hero identities are dating.

stuck in my brain by @felicityparkers

whatever music that is stuck in your head is stuck in your soulmate’s head too.

i have them too by @tom-holland-is-spiderman

A headcanon of Peter Parker comforting the reader with stretch marks and they get ashamed of them so they hide their body from Peter making him feel sad.

by the elevator by @peterbenjiparker * (there are two parts to this and the second is linked on the op)

You break your hand after punching the elevator door. But luckily the cute boy is there to help out. You thought you would never see him again but you both keep running into each other by the same elevator.

➱ Thor Odinson

totally not a date by @superficialstark *

in which you go on a double date with tony and pepper expecting steve to show up as a mate date and instead being met with thor who you can’t help but be charmed by

but i just wanna hear your voice by @blackberrybucky

thor comes back after they defeat thanos and tries to make things right with you.

➱ Wanda Maximoff

of taunts and tickles by @beskar-tano *

Wanda spent the past few days trying to cheer you up and bring you out of your dreadful slump. After trying almost everything, she resorted to her last hopeful idea: a tickle fight.

➱ Natasha Romanoff

my girl by @beskar-tano

Natasha surprises you with a romantic date by the lake, surrounded by the beautiful scenery as fall takes its toll on the changing leaves. 

➱ i’d love for you guys to suggest some fics for steve, sam and loki because i apparently don’t know of any in this dodgy brain of mine (she’s not working as i make this dhdhd) - you can also send some in for any i’ve not got too many fics on so far!

i havent written or read for star wars in so long (dw i am still a sw account and i love my sw moots ive just been on a marvel kick and haven’t had time to read many moots fics recently so they’re all piling up lol) and so i don’t think i could come up with a comprehensive enough list given the fact that there’s so many amazing fics coming out each day!

so instead i thought i’d direct you to some accounts that have some phenomenal work that i instantly fall in love with each time!!

➱ @etherealsanakin

poe dameron, anakin skywalker

➱ @xwing-baby

din djarin, poe dameron, star wars oc

➱ @dindjarindiaries

din djarin

➱ @sunsetkenobi

obi-wan kenobi, anakin skywalker, boba fett, din djarin, padmé amidala, rey, luke skywalker

➱ @artiza-n

anakin skywalker, marvel! (namely bucky)

➱ @beskar-tano

anakin skywalker, obi-wan kenobi, boba fett, din djarin, luke skywalker, fennec shand, poe dameron

➱ @anakinswhore

anakin skywalker

➱ @anakinlove

anakin skywalker

➱ @betweentwopines

din djarin, anakin skywalker, padmé amidala etc.

these are just some accounts that i have read regularly or some moots who post for these characters (and i need to get around reading for) but there’s so many more incredible writers for sw on here, some that i’m moots with too, that can self plug here if they want!! (my brain isn’t working today so i can’t think of everyone)

[jjmaybankxpogue]

Truth Or Dare - JJ Maybank x Reader

Word count: 840 (i havent written in a long time but there will be longer posts soon i promise)

Warnings: Mentions of abuse

Genre: fluff

Inspo: none

All characters are aged up to at least 18

Not my gif

One night the pogues were playing truth or dare when one question changed Y/n’s life...

as you sat on the boat with the pogue’s JJ’s eyes kept drifting back to you after every time he looked somewhere else, of course thinking you wouldn’t notice. All the pogues knew JJ had a massive crush on you, but you being your clueless self it took a while for the realization to settle in.

JJ had thought you knew since he had been making it a bit too obvious for the past week, but it finally came to you that evening on the boat ride.

“okay guys, lets play truth or dare” Kiara suggested “ooh fun” you said in a cheerful tone “JJ, Truth or dare?” Kiara said “Truth” JJ said “who do you like” Kiara said knowing im right here “hmm hmm” JJ laughed sarcastically knowing she knew “you cant chicken or you have to do 30 push-ups” Kiara added “c’mon JJ we wanna know” John B said teasingly “fine, its Y/n” JJ said, his face going fully red.

Luckily you realized earlier when he kept staring at you so this wasnt a surprise. “no pogue on pogue mackin’, there JJ” Kiara teased “I mean cmon we all know that’s a rule no one is going to follow” I said somewhat reassuringly. JJ smiled.

Later that night we got back to the chateau, all the pogues decided to spend the night. JJ had his own room at John B’s Because of his dad. you went there to talk to him “hey” you said closing the door behind you “hi whatcha doin’?” JJ questioned “you like me?” you asked ignoring his previous question, he wouldn’t care though. “y-yeah” he nervously stuttered “i started liking you a while ago too” you said looking at JJ’s smile with his cute dimples.

You crawled into bed with him, laid your head on his chest, but something wasn’t right though, almost like you felt him wince from pain or something so you lifted your head back up. “whats wrong?” you said “nothing im ok” you didnt believe a bit of that so you lifted up his shirt and saw the broozes and cuts. “JJ” you said sadly as you put his shirt back down. “Hey, its nothing im ok, i promise.” he said. “no JJ we need to clean up this before you get infected”

You came back with some soft tissues and rubbing alcohol. “sit up J” you said he did as told because nobody had ever taken care of him like this before “this might hurt” i said “me? i doubt that” JJ said. you got the rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad and began cleaning his cuts, he didn’t flinch at all, which was sad seeing how he had gotten use to all physical pain over the years.

“all done” you said tossing the trash into the garbage can “thanks Y/n” JJ said feeling bad that she had to do that. JJ laid back down and told me to lay on his chest again. JJ sat up causing you to sit up with him then asked “why’d you pick me” . . . “why me instead of a guy who could buy you really nice things, who could spoil you as long as you’re together. why’d you pick the broken one” The blond said “JJ” you said in a sad and worried tone “because you’re worth more than some rich kook to me, they’re all stuck up cheaters. I chose you because I love you, JJ! i value love and loyalty more than things that come at a cost.” I said, an attempt to reassure him. “Im sorry y/n” JJ apologized with his eyes locked on the floor feeling guilty. “no JJ, its okay” you stated with a small smile on your face

You leaned over on JJ and gave him a much needed loving hug, he hugged you back with his head buried in the crook of your neck and his jaw clenched as he was trying to force back his forming tears. “i love you” JJ said with a tear falling one of his eyes. “i love you too, and i know this is very early to be saying this but its true” you admitted.

you both parted from the hug, laid down in the same positions you were previously in and fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up with both of JJ’s arms wrapped around you like a child hugging their teddy bear. You were quite comfortable in that position so you just lied there awake until JJ woke up.

About five minutes passed and JJ finally woke up “Morning bubs” JJ said cutely yet still semi asleep. John B knocked on the door then opened it and noticed you guys together there and said “uh im- bye” “nah its fine we didnt do anything” JJ said just as John B was about to leave “okay, well its 11 and all the other guys are up so get ready to go on a boat ride again” John B said “okay” you and JJ said at the same time.

PART TWO WILL BE COMING... COMMENT FOR AN @ ON IT

[illfoandillfie]

ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie

okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this. 

So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia). 

now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love) 

So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances. 

It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism. 

For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening.  I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.

Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.

There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation? 

This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao. 

Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.

Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers. 

[lovelyfeh]

omg i could never,, i’d turn off the game and have to restart if i ever had to fight anyone from the blue lions they’re all such babies

of course sweetie!! i havent really written for Claude up until now, so i hope i manage to capture his personality correctly!! love ya ❤️ ( @spoilt-rice )

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

➼As a student here at the Officer’s Academy, you’ve seen your fair share of romance between your fellow classmates. Many of the girls and boys at the Monastery either have crushes or are in a relationship with another, and who can blame them? You’re all still kids in a way!

➼Dimitri and Claude were often considered the most popular boys in school when it came to girls. The female students often find themselves head over heels for a kind, polite gentleman that is Dimitri or a dashing, charming tease that is Claude. Unfortunately, you were no exception.

➼While you were close friends with both of them, you often found yourself daydreaming about the two royals. Some days your head was filled with fantasies about Dimitri sharing a kiss with you, and other days you found your thoughts preoccupied with the idea of stargazing with Claude. But that would never happen, right?

➼You always thought of yourself as someone who didn’t really stick out to others. Sure, Sylvain would pull his occasional antics with you, but otherwise you had never known anyone to fall for you. You have your fair share of crushes, but keep them at the back of your mind to focus on school. (Well, you try to at least...)

➼Well, have I got some news for you.

➼The Prince of Faerghus and soon to be Heir to the Leceister Alliance have taken a liking to you. Really taken a liking to you. In fact, both of them can barely look at you without feeling their heart beat faster. Maybe on Dimitri’s part even turn bright red!

➼Both of their feelings for you haven’t gone unnoticed by each other. Claude catches the blonde gazing at you with such love in his eyes that it almost makes him sick, but how can he feel that way if he would do the same? Try as he might to hide his feelings under his easy going attitude, he’s sure Dimitri’s caught him trying to woo you with sweet words and a wink or two.

➼And yes, the blue lions leader has noticed that archer making advances on you. While deep down he can feel jealousy rearing it’s ugly head, he’s not prepared to simply give you up. He will fight tooth and nail to win you over first!

➼And so let the rivalry begin!

➼Their fight for your affection will start off relatively harmless at first. Maybe Claude will steal you away for the whole day and treat you to a meal, or Dimitri will volunteer to help with schoolwork just so he can spend some time with you. They do their best to keep you away from the other while also avoiding confrontation or a fight.

➼It’s only after Claude sees you being walked to class by his enemy that he has a change of heart. You’re both beaming, and he thinks he spies a bit of red on your cheeks. For a split second, as you both walk past, he catches Dimitri’s eye. The confident, almost smug aura he gives off makes Claude grit his teeth out of frustration. So that’s how the prince wants to play, eh?

➼He hatches up a scheme right away. Claude has already made it clear in the past that he’ll do anything to win, and that’s exactly what he’ll do now.

➼The day Dimitri is on cooking duty, he’ll distract you and slip tons of salt into your food. Once you take a bite, he watches as you slowly realize what you put in your mouth and promptly spit it out immediately. “Who knew Dimitir was such a bad cook huh? How about you and me ditch and go have some candy?”

➼Claude’s scheme to ruin Dimitri in your eyes go mostly unnoticed until he catches him in the act. He finds the boy tampering with the tea he had set out for the both of you mere minutes ago, and loses it. He’ll shove the archer out and quickly throw away everything, afraid he touched anything else. He’s so angry he can barely contain himself, but picking fights at the officers academy would do him no good.

➼Although, the incident gets him thinking. Hadn’t you been a bit more distant than usual? And he had noticed you seem to skip out on dinner everytime it was his turn on kitchen duty... Not to mention Claude was always glued to your side...!

➼Dimitri puts two and two together quite quickly. He runs to his room, unable to stop himself from angrily slamming his fist into the wall. That scheming bastard! He was fighting this war unfairly!

➼It doesn’t take long for him to have an idea of his own. He manages to find you two in the entrance hall, both of you leaned against a pillar while Claude explains something involving the recent homework. He smiles sinisterly, marching up and placing him in between you two. “Ah, S/O! Are you having trouble with your homework? Allow me to help, Claude here isn’t exactly the brightest student when it comes to tactics.”

➼The archer starts to protest, but you interject quickly. “Oh! How sweet of you Dimtri! And I haven’t spent much time with you recently, so I’d love for you to help!” And then suddenly you’re gone with a wave and the poor leader of the Golden Deer is alone.

➼The antics between these two go on frequently. They’re constantly trying to one up each other in terms of tricks. Dimitri will mostly bad mouth Claude, such as saying he’s inadequate to train with or doesn’t know the first thing about brewing tea before demonstrating his own skills in the subject. Claude will stick to sabotaging Dimitri’s plans, switching out gifts with trash or putting hot spices all over pastries that be planned on serving to you.

➼You stay mostly oblivious to their fued, but don’t fail to notice the hatred in their eyes when they see each other. You simply dismiss it as a house leader thing, but can’t help but worry. Do your two best friends (and crushes) dislike each other? They both seem to be spending so much time with you recently, but the other is never present, so...

➼One morning you finally get to see their fighting on full display. As you’re getting dressed, Dimitri knocks on your door and asks if you’d like to walk to class together. You’re about to agree to join him, but Claude’s voice quickly interrupts, dismissing the princes offer and saying theat he’ll walk with you to class.

➼You don’t get a chance to reply to either of them before they start shouting! You rush to get dressed and peek out to see what the commotion is about. They both look as if they’re about to get into a full on brawl, Dimitri’s face twisted into that of such a glare that you can’t help but cower in fear. Claude is no better, his smile looking dark and sinister instead of welcoming, making you want to run and hide.

➼They’re spitting insults at each other, occasionally throwing in why they’re ‘better for you’. You aren’t exactly sure what they mean, but your face flushed anyway.

➼All you can do is watch. You try to split them up verbally but they can’t seem to hear you, and you really don’t want to get in between them if they start to throw punches. All you can do is wait in your room and cover your face as it starts to burn. Hopefully nobody sees this...

➼Thankfully, your savior comes in the form of Edelgard. She storms up to the two of them and grabs them by the ears, obviously fed up with their silly arguing. “You two need to leave poor S/O alone. She obviously doesn’t appreciate you standing here and yelling like two girl crazy idiots! Now come on, we’re all going to be late to class because of the both of you!”

➼Did she just say ‘girl crazy idiots?!’ They were fighting over you?!

➼You peek out of your room with a red face and watch as she drags away the two boys you’ve been crushing on for a good while. You can’t help but smile, waving shyly when they turn their attention back to you.

➼They both wave back with red tinted cheeks and dreamy smiles before glaring at each other briefly and then going straight back to waving. You giggle quietly, but sigh and then slam your forehead into your door. How in all of Fodlan would you be able to pick just one of them?!

[blookmallow]

im starting to realize there’s a bunch of connections going on between tma episodes.. i dont know what it Means yet and dont tell me!!!!! ill get there!! but. hmmm. im going through the transcripts after i listen to them to make sure i didnt miss things/checking the details and i just. Keep Finding More Shit, it’s all connected, i feel like there’s something huge going on behind all these and i Do Not Know what it is yet 

this is. very long and disjointed i went through all the transcripts for every episode ive listened to so far and kept noticing more things 

like Don’t Tell Me if im right or wrong ill find out im just gathering thoughts. setting up my little conspiracy board. red strings everywhere

- firstly theres an obvious running thread going about the cursed jurgen leitner books, gerard keay, the. worms. and jane prentiss 

- carlos vittery in Arachnophobia mentions offhand that his complex had an infestation of “small, silvery worms” which passed right over my head the first time but looking at it again thATS THE FUCKIGN WORMS!!!! and martin found. Probably Jane in the basement of that same complex. so. well, (that also means like Who Knows how many people in that building might have gotten infected) (i also wonder whether the spiders might actually be Good, if the worms are hideous parasites maybe the spiders are showing up to eat them/get rid of them, martin says he likes spiders, the spiders almost definitely killed vittery but he was violently trying to wipe them out so maybe it was a greater good kind of thing) (or they’re just spiders and dont have that level of comprehension and like the nasty silver worms. either way) 

- there’s also a lot of Foretelling Of Death but i dont want to go through and list all of those rn

- in Anglerfish, there was some kind of. shadowy hand thing beckoning people into the darkness. Amy Patel in Across The Street describes seeing a similar shadowy hand thing reaching into Graham’s apartment before his. replacement. both of these are described as “folding” in on themselves/moving in a really unnatural way. smoking was also mentioned in both but i havent really been following that as a symbol very closely. possible link with Fire? i dont know

- Repetition. Graham was obsessively filling hundreds of notebooks with the words “Keep Watching,” mary keay’s skin was completely covered in unreadable script tattoos, the paper found by the garbage men was the Lord’s prayer written in latin over and over again, ivo lensik’s father became completely obsessed with fractals and couldn’t stop drawing them. the unnamed burned man in First Aid repeats an unclear phrase over and over again. gerard keay is also covered in tattoos of eyes in First Aid, which was not mentioned before (though probably wouldn’t have been visible before) 

- Graham was convinced he was being watched/followed by Something, harriet was concerned about being followed after she was attacked by prentiss (which. matches with martin’s experience too, though he was much more fortunate), vittery was followed by The Spider, lensik’s father also believed Something was coming for him (and “all the bones are in his hands” sounds very. leitner), and there was. whatever approaching darkness was coming after robert montauk, as well 

- Graham has a weirdly hypnotic table, the first Leitner book found by dominic swain had oddly vertigo-inducing woodcuttings, gerard keay’s eye painting is similarly hypnotic, lensik finds a box in the old tree with the same hypnotic carvings on it 

- not sure if the Spider Apple has any relation to the Arachnophobia episode, but, there’s that, also 

- swain’s book had an image of the sky, which he described felt like you would “fall into it” if you looked at it for too long, and robert kelly sort of “fell into the sky” in Freefall. laura popham describes a sense of being swallowed up by the earth in Lost Johns’ Cave, as well 

- same theme of becoming “lost” in Lost Johns’ Cave and in Alone, similar concepts of being consumed by the earth 

- i dont think its necessarily related to anything else as far as i know but just wanted to mention also i didn’t process the... extra audio recording in Lost Johns’ Cave correctly, i thought she was saying “help me, help me, please help me” which was unnerving, but didn’t really seem all that critical to add, until looking at the transcripts i realized it was “take her, not me” which was a HUGE punch to the gut when i discovered it lmao. dont ask how i managed to mishear that badly but i am very very bad at auditory processing which is why im reading all these scripts to make sure i didnt process them wrong

- Graham mentions he’s gay, and the man who had the dream about gertrude mentions having broken up with his boyfriend, Graham. jon doesn’t comment on this and it’s not necessarily the same graham, and im not sure what the significance is if it is, but it seems like an odd coincidence if it isn’t. “antonio” doesn’t go into detail about why they broke up, but mentions they had been living together 

- the name Joshua Gillespie stands out to me for some reason, like I’ve heard “gillespie” somewhere before, but I haven’t noticed it coming up again in any of the transcripts unless I just missed it. could just be that my brain decided to Remember that name for no reason though. he’s the guy with the coffin 

- jon mentions this, but Breekon and Hope deliveries were responsible both for the weird coffin and the yellow stole from the incident with father burroughs 

- there’s a major ongoing theme of Fire and Burning, both just in general, and a more specific Fire With No Apparent Source thing continuously happening. the prayer paper in the trash had been burned, timothy hodge burned his apartment after the Worms Incident (and martin mentions noticing one of the worms looked slightly burnt - maybe it survived the fire and returned to jane?), sgt. berry was “distinctively marked” by an incident with a flamethrower, the vampires are supposedly very very vulnerable to fire, raymond fielding’s house burned down and his. ghost? disappears with a burning smell and a burnt spot on the floor, lensik experiences an intense, unbearable heat with no clear cause soon after the encounter with raymond, which father burroughs also experiences in his account. the mysterious coffin in Do Not Open had an unnatural heat to it. gerard keay burns the leitner book and picks up the still-smoldering ashes but isn’t concerned with the heat, and then appears again as one of the burned men in First Aid, having apparently experienced second-degree burns on every inch of his skin, but had completely undamaged clothes. the nurse describes feeling a burning sensation when the chanting starts, but dismisses it as a nervous reaction, then experiences the. boiling drink bottles and the burning hot door handles. she says she could feel a burning heat from gerard’s hand. the burned man’s body immediately self-cremates when gerard kills him. lee rentoul also gives specifically a lighter to angela for her Piecemeal curse, though that might be coincidental. he does burn the first box after he discovers it, though

- the garbage man describes the last Weird Trash as “tied off with a dark green ribbon, arranged in a bow like an old-fashioned Christmas present” - which contained a copper heart, possibly symbolizing alan’s real heart, with the rest of his body never being found. this matches both with robert montauk’s killings and the cursed boxes from angela’s curse- “brown paper and string, like an old-fashioned Christmas present.” there was also the weird thing with raymond’s hand, but im not sure that’s related 

the vampires’ victims bodies also seemed to disappear, not sure that’s related either 

- jon confirms that the pendant julia describes (the one belonging to her mother and also her father’s last victim) is a symbol of the People’s Church of the Divine Host cult. wondering if this is related to what father burroughs experienced. gerard keay is searching for a lost pendant in First Aid, but its design is unclear, and he describes it as brass. unsure if related. the fact that gerard’s tattoos/etc were of eyes, and the other pendant is of a closed eye, while one is made of brass and the other of silver seems like there might be some connection though even if it isn’t the same one. there didn’t seem to be any burning involved with the montauk case, anyway 

then there’s. this entire thing im just gonna paste it here, from sebastian adekoya in the Boneturner’s Tale: 

“Books are amazing, aren’t they? I mean, when you think about what they really are. People don’t give the actuality of language the weight it deserves, I feel. Words are a way of taking your thoughts, the very make-up of yourself, and giving them to another. Putting your thoughts in the mind of someone else. They are not a perfect method, of course, as there’s plenty of scope for mutation and corruption between your mind and that of the listener, but that doesn’t change the essence of what language is.

Spoken aloud, though, the thought dies quickly if not picked up. Simple vibrations that vanish almost as soon as they are created, though if they find a host, then they can lodge there, proliferate, and maybe spread further. Still, it is not a reliable method in terms of a thought’s endurance, as humans are fragile creatures, and rarely last a century.” 

this definitely seems relevant to jurgen leitner (and this is. one of the episodes about a leitner book, so) it definitely seems likely that he’s spreading some kind of.... Belief or Self or Power or Something through his books, possibly even his own consciousness is within them somehow, or at least the consciousness of Something or Someone. the man with all the bones in his hands. taking bones and warping them. bones appearing in the pages but Wrong. might be related to the bag of teeth, too, hundreds of All The Same Tooth

definitely something to the... immortalization of thoughts/memories/Consciousness through written word, especially when we consider the words literally tattooed into mary keay’s skin/the book possibly bound in her skin. i cant put a coherent thought together on this but its definitely... important, i think 

sebastian also for some reason specifically mentions he was holding a copy of Stephen King’s Misery in the confrontation with Jared’s mother, which is a story about an author being forced to write something against his will/words that aren’t really his own, to appease someone else, which. seems like it might be relevant somehow too, maybe. the fact that it was named specifically when it wasn’t apparently relevant to the story seems interesting 

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

asks

notsafeforlove said to ichor-and-symbiosis: WAS THAT TWICE PROMPT NECESSARY??????

i couldn’t leave twice alone in the afterlife like that ;-; he’s got magne though at least 

arctic-sweatshirt said to ichor-and-symbiosis:ow ):

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:NO NONONO S TOP OUCH FUCK ILY

i hurt mySELF writing that 

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Heyo! Did you hear that Castlevania is getting a 4th season? I’m excited to see what’s gonna happen next but also kinda nervous lol

yes!! i’m really excited to see what will happen and most of all i want hector to be safe and to join the ot3 AND i want said ot3 to finally get together like PLEASE CAN WE LET THEM ALL BE HAPPY

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:You really did pick the perfect pet because Shiggy also jizzes daily and as his personal fuck toy you would also have to clean it lol. But something tells me you wouldn't complain about that as much as you would with the geckos ;) *wink wonk*

no i certainly would not mind that at all, that’s the kinda energy i need during this quarantine *lenny face* (minus the jizz cleaning, guys i dont know what is wrong with yall or if you havent had a taste of jizz yet but i can assure you it is the most revolting shit to ever exist)

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Ok on the monsterfucker topic...I can't believe I'm saying this but I was watching Shape of Water with my mom one day and I made a comment something along the lines of wanting a cute fishman boyfriend and my mom was like "me too" O_O and that's how I found out that when my mom was a teen she had a crush on the creature from the black lagoon! So be careful if you ever have kids because your weird ass kinks might be genetic LMAO!

ASDJGHADAJKSGHASDLAKHJ YOUR MOM IS A REAL ONE, SIS GOTTA GET A TUMBLR OF HER OWN!!!

peachblossomjelly said to ichor-and-symbiosis:When I was little I had a crush on the rowdy ruff boys. Literal trash boys.

i feel that in my soul. and here we are as villain stans today

peppermint-saddies said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Im coincidentally listening to Mad Rush by Philip Glass while reading all these things abt Jin and im cryin literal tears dude i havent felt this bad for a character in a long time tbh but reading how much you loved him makes me happy there is a place in the fandom where he brought real joy to people. Not sure what im sayin now, im just rambling but thanks for writing for Jin and bringing out the best in his character so we could love him too. ❣️

this really touched me ;-; i’m also glad to see the outpouring of love for my comfort character!! someday i will write more for him...

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:No-face is pretty bomb.

i just *clenches fist* love masked monsters

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Twice and the League as a whole aren't even necessarily my favorite characters, but they're so undeniably smartly written and I love how Horikoshi wrote them perfectly into the overarching Theme of BNHA. They weren't born evil, they were all failed by the system, abandoned by society for being mentally unwell having powers that were considered dangerous 1/2

They found family and acceptance in each other. Were they evil? Were they going to kill thousands? Yes, but it's a credit to how well Hori can write that we still mourn their deaths. If they had just been given a better shot at life, maybe things could have been different, and that's the real tragedy. They are villains, but so is society/the hero commission 2/2

i can’t even add anything to this, it’s very well said!

Anonymous said to ichor-and-symbiosis:Using Jin's butt cheeks as pillows.

better than Tempur-Pedic

[dbssh]

🌼pick a random oc surprise me

Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their Love Interest. 

😳😳😳😳 ok i havent written in. a while tm and im very much not happy with this but! ive been obsessively working on it for the past two days so i think its time to just Stop and hit post.

Aja had been hiding out in the woods. It was isolated enough to be safe, but still within walking distance of the nearest town. She’d made it her home for the past few weeks, taking a break from travelling for the moment. Winter was coming soon. There wasn’t any snow on the ground, yet, but there was less and less readily-available food. That wasn’t usually a problem for her, but recently it was. There was a stray dog, a big black mutt with short hair and a long face, that had been sticking around her camp since she’d come here. It was a sad, skinny thing, and she always made sure it had something to eat. But today had been particularly cold, a bitter wind and dark clouds on the horizon, and by the time the sun went down, she had nothing. 

The dog nuzzled into her hip as she stood at the edge of the treeline, looking out at the small town not too far away. She took a deep breath, slung her bag over her shoulder, and started walking. The dog followed. 

She slowed down as they neared a fence, the backside of a house. All the lights were out, as they should be at this hour. She stepped around to the other side of the house and found her prize, two metal garbage cans. She made a shushing motion at the dog, before she quietly removed the lid and started digging.

It didn’t take long to find enough scraps of meat and discarded food for the dog to be satisfied, which she was grateful for. She didn’t want to dig around in garbage any more than she had to, especially when she had no idea when she’d be able to clean herself properly. She sat with the dog while it chewed on the bone from a ham, stroking its matted fur. For a moment it was almost peaceful.

The peace was short-lived, interrupted by a loud clanging as something else disturbed the trash cans, something far less concerned with stealth than Aja had been. She stood and stepped over, looking into the can. It was a raccoon, filthy and hardly more than skin-and-bones.

“Get out of here,” she whispered at it, shooing it away. She felt awful for the poor thing, but with the noise it was making, it was putting them both in danger. “Get your own, we’ve already got this one.” It didn’t seem to understand her, and all it did was dig further into the garbage, making an awful noise as it’s paws clanged against the metal. She was panicking, knowing the noise would wake someone up soon if it hadn’t already, and she grabbed at the raccoon, trying to pull it out as it hissed and screamed, scratching at her hands, the dog barking at it as it did. 

The door to the house slammed open, and an older man walked out, holding a shotgun and murmuring about the god-damned vermin. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw her, and she froze as she saw him, dropping the raccoon to the ground. 

“What the hell?” he said. Aja took a moment to consider her options, looking from the old man to the gun in his hands, to the street behind him. While he was still sitting there, dumb-struck, trying to figure out what exactly he was looking at, Aja took a deep breath, and broke into a sprint, pushing past him and into the street. She didn’t know where she was running or where she intended to go, but she couldn’t stay here. 

The old man swore as she bolted, running into the street and firing a few shots. Lucky for her the old man was a lousy shot, and in the dark of the night he missed. The noise roused the other houses on the street, lights clicking on in the windows as people woke. 

She didn’t know what to do. She kept running. 

--- 

Parked in an alleyway was a mint-blue pickup truck, with more than a few dents and scratches along the sides and a crack in the windshield. Sleeping in the driver's seat was Hutch. Or at least, they were sleeping, until gunshots rang out through the night and they jumped awake, scrambling to shove their keys into the ignition. They had no fucking clue what was happening, and they weren’t going to stick around to find out. 

As the headlights blinked to life, they caught a figure. She froze in the bright white light, staring directly at them like a deer crossing the road. She was panicked, and tall, really fucking tall, with wild dark hair and all-black clothes complete with a cape that draped over her shoulders. She looked terrified. 

Within a moment she’d snapped out of it and kept running. Hutch leaned out the window and called out after her, trying to get her to wait, but she didn’t stop. Fuck. 

They started the engine and pulled the stupid truck out of the alley as fast as it would go. 

---

If Aja had panicked when the headlights had turned on, she was fucking terrified when the truck actually started following her. She had no idea what was about to happen, but even she couldn’t outrun a car. So when it pulled in front of her and stopped abruptly, she stopped too, ready to face whatever was about to happen. 

She was speechless when the passenger door popped open, and the driver looked up at her, smiled, and said:

“Need a ride?”

“Pardon?”

“I heard the shots. If they have anything to do with you, you probably wanna get the hell out of this place before they start forming a good-ol’ fashioned angry mob,” they paused, still with a cocky grin on their face. “I have a car, if you haven’t noticed, but we gotta get moving. Do you want in or not?”

She paused, deliberating. She could keep going, alone. She’d survive, and she’d find her own way out, and it would be fine. She didn’t need this person. On the other hand… she hadn’t had a real conversation in years. And here someone was, talking to her like a peer, not even flinching as they looked at her. 

Noise of shouting townsfolk echoed down the street. 

“Last chance,” they said, starting to look worried. “If you aren’t getting out of here, I am.”

She took a deep breath, and got in the car. 

---

They drove until morning, mostly silent. There had been some one-sided conversation at first, Hutch asking questions and Aja giving one-word answers, but they’d stopped trying at some point. The radio droned quietly, some country song on the radio, Hutch tapping their fingers on the wheel and muttering the words. 

In the morning sun, she was able to get a better look at them. They were short, with tanned brown skin and a number of scars across their face and arms. Their hair was blond, pink at the tips, looking as though it had just begun to grow out of a neat cut. Their face seemed to be in an almost-permanent grin, their silver eyes twinkling with a mischievous energy. 

And looking closer at them, it became obvious that they weren’t human, at least not entirely. Their ears were pointed and animal-like, flicking about like a cat. Their fingertips had short black claws, and tucked around their waist was a thin, wiry tail that looked almost like that of a mouse or a lion, with a tuft of fur the same pink-golden colour as their hair at it’s tip.

She must have looked for just a moment too long, because they turned to look at her with another stupid grin, and they winked. 

Her face felt hot as she quickly turned away, staring at the window as they laughed. 

“I’m just messin’ with you, you’re fine,” they said.

“Why did you help me?” she asked, changing the topic. 

“I dunno,” they shrugged. “You just looked like you needed help, is all. Anyone would’ve done it.” Their voice was thick with a southern accent. 

“Nobody else did. Nobody else has ever done what you did.” She paused. “Not for me, anyways.”

“Anyone decent, I should say,” they laughed. “Those people? Not decent. Towns like that never are. Don’t really know how to treat anyone different.” 

“I suppose so. Still. Thank you.” 

“Yeah, ‘course.” 

“If there’s ever anything I can do to repay you…” she trailed off, not really sure how to finish that. They looked her over for a minute, their silver eyes shining. 

“Y’know what? There is something.”

“Oh?” She wasn’t certain, but she didn’t think people usually actually took someone up on an offer like that. 

“Sure!” they laughed. “Just stay with me a little while. It gets lonely out here all by myself. Whenever you’re ready to leave, you can go, I ain’t gonna stop you. Just thought it might be nice for both of us to have some good company for a change.” That… didn’t sound too bad. She wasn’t really sure why, but she trusted them. Besides, even if they did try something, she was fairly sure she could take care of it. And they were right, after all. She was lonely. Incredibly, painfully lonely, in a way she had to force herself not to think about. 

“Okay,” she said, after a pause.

[near-seth-experience]

This is a long, personal, 3 in the morning kind of ramble. Writing as if I'm explaining things to others tends to help me get my feelings out. Don't feel obligated to read this, but you're welcome to. I'm mostly just thinking out loud here. I'm on mobile, so sorry if this gets long. I don't know if Keep Reading cuts are possible on the app, and if they are I havent learned how to insert them. I'll probably delete this later so whatevs.

I think this topic could apply to a lot of selfless people out there, so I think putting some things into words might be helpful to others.

Anyways, I've thought about this before, and I'm not sure if I've ever talked about it, but I'm pretty sure I've pinpointed a pretty massive reason why I feel lonely and incredibly dissatisfied all the time:

I've always felt that I was considerate to a fault. I'd never put my needs ahead of the needs of others. To this day, I still have lots of difficulty when it comes to looking after numero uno. I learned early on that I needed to keep others appeased in order to feel safe. My siblings frequently butted heads growing up, and one of them often had these big fights with my dad. Lots of tears, yelling, a rare hole in the wall, that kinda thing. It fell on me to keep tempers from flaring. Ultimately, I became the kid my dad always called when he needed help with yardwork. I became the kid who would hand my mom a soda after a heated phone call with a high-maintenance sibling, and I'd sit and let her vent to me. I became the kid who would unload the dishwasher or take out the trash without being asked to do so. Whenever things got heated, I would shift into the role of family de-escalator. Point is, I've always lived for others, and no, this isnt one of those posts talking about living for yourself, yadda yadda yadda. I'm thinking in a different direction, but it'll wrap back around.

Recently I've been trying to think of this in a positive light. As shitty as things might have been, I've grown up to be incredibly considerate. It's one of my better qualities, the beginning and end of my list of good things I can confidently say about myself as a person. It was always out of necessity or fear. It was always pretty damn unappreciated. It always kind of felt like I was everyone's bitch. But it was good of me all the same.

Now that I'm my own person, I've realized two things. Firstly, I love helping out. I love knowing that someone is better off for having me by their side. It's kind of why I loved proofreading in my college English courses. I loved being thanked and feeling valued and wanted for my efforts. I loved the gratification of knowing that someone's story or essay received better marks thanks in very small part to my help. I love knowing I made a mark in someone's life for the better in some way. My personal golden rule is essentially to ask yourself at every turn if there's some little thing you can do to ease another person's burden. If the answer is yes, and the means are within reason and your comfort zone, do it.

The second thing I realized was something that is said a lot: relationships flow both ways. Nobody in my life— not my 2 or 3 superficial friends, not my family, literally nobody— has deserved the amount of effort I have spent for their sakes. I'm burnt out. I'm dissatisfied with my life because everything I do for the sake of another person feels like a chore. I am constantly taken for granted, and the only reason I still bother is because it's even tougher to go against my nature and do nothing. It's not like I'm asking for recognition, but just once I'd like to hear sincerity when someone thanks me. Even better, I'd like someone to legitimately care enough to look into my eyes for a change, see how not-okay I am, and ask themselves if theres anything they could do.

I can only think of one time that has ever happened, and the circumstances are still a trigger of mine so I'm gonna keep the story brief.

(TW Death & Animal Death. Skip this next paragraph if you need to)

My senior year of high school, a freshman was found dead in the school swimming pool. No foul play suspected, people just didn't see him go under during or between gym class. Real tragic. So the school goes on lockdown while they look into things, and then they cancel the rest of the day. I go home, and I find my dog dead. She was old and losing vision, and she fell into our backyard swimming pool. It was partially drained for the winter, so she didnt drown, we think falling down four or five feet onto the concrete of the shallow end while blind may have just been a massive shock. Heart attack, or she hit her head or something. Who knows. Anyways, my mind connected the two events. Two pool-related deaths on the same day. For the first class on the following day, my teacher arranged the desks in a big circle and it was honestly a really good hour-long discussion about loss and grief, but it hit me so hard that people thought I knew the freshman student. The teacher, and a friend of mine both came up to me after class, I told them what happened, got a hug from the friend, and sent home for the day by the teacher.

(/End TW)

That was the only time in memory where someone has ever looked at me and knew I wasn't alright, and I imagine it must have been very obviously written on my face. Now, back to the point. The amount of times I've seen the troubled faces and heard the troubled voices of those I care about and did any little thing to help is severely disproportionate to the amount of reciprocation. It's like I actively look to see if people need me, but they never even care enough to consider looking if I need them.

So, here are my takeaways:

I'm dissatisfied with life because I'm tired of bending over backwards for people who don't even deserve to have me, and that's basically all I'm doing with my life.

I'm lonely because that covers literally everyone I know personally.

So fuck 'em.

I feel like I have some kind of void inside me, and don't think I'll ever have true fulfillment in this regard unless life throws me a cheesy series of events that results in me finding my soulmate or at least something mutual. (Lmao, yeah right. Press X to doubt).

People often say "live for yourself" or "you dont need others to be whole" in regards to this kind of thing. While that's generally sound advice, people do have different natures. Living for others is how I live. There's no way around that, it's who I am, so my interpretation of "living for myself" is choosing for myself who to live for.

[archiefm]

         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...

DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )

shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....

finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve

grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa

very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 

if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn

he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.

from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 

his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.

his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess

hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway

as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 

his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way

had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.

he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.

during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.

he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.

he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.

u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone

not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.

takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.

 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life

works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee

lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond

fan of karl marx. v big on socialism

insomniac with chronic nosebleeds

cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter

always confused or annoyed

statistics

basic information

full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.

physical

colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.

psychological

dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.

skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.

likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.

dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)

full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)

tw homophobia

born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.

his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.

when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.

by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.

after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 

of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.

        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas

study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet

ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea

friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots

ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up

does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is! 

[kaedeichinose]

hi janelle, do i remember right that you like otome games? please help me out i have an abundance of free time and im feeling so lonely i just need fictional characters to say they love me. what are the best ones you'd recommend?

hell yeah i do. ok so as a general rule, if you’re taking a chance go for something thats out on a real console (psp, vita, ps3/4) basically because theres a lot more random garbage on the mobile and steam fronts, and it’s not like there arent good ones but obviously the rate of trash to good is higher 

so heres a few of my most highly recommended:

Hakuoki: this is the most popular otome franchise in the west by far (even the non otome spinoff action game got localized. imagine) the most recent edition of the games in on vita (maybe steam? i havent checked) and its the combo of kyoto winds and edo blossoms. the reason theres two of them is because the game has SO MUCH CONTENT there was no way they could localize it as it was and possibly make a profit, so they ended up splitting it. Some people dislike the protag bc shes a little too yamato nadeshiko for their tastes but it never bugged me. it’s got a lot of action, historical intrigue, theres like? 13? romance candidates as of kw/eb so you’re getting a lot of bang for your buck. plus, since so many version of hakuoki got localized the older versions tend to go on sale whenever aksys’ stuff is on sale so you can get one of the older version for real cheap if you wanna dip your toes.

Code Realize: this is probably my favorite otome game and one of my favorite vns in general. the art is gorgeous, the characters are so fleshed out and well developed (even the side characters), all the narratives whirl together with intrigue and drama and the protagonist has a lot of personality. Theres not a single character i dislike here. i think the ps4 version comes in a dual pack with future blessings, which is a direct sequel focusing on lovey-dovey marriage stuff with some more serious stories too. 

norn9: norn9 is really unique because it has three entirely different protags to play as, and each one has three different boys to pursue. this affords for them to have a lot of love interests while still keeping the MC’s arcs feeling fresh. theres one route i dont like but 8/9 aint bad! nice art, good writing, intriguing world building. fully recommend. 

anniversary no kuni no alice: so this ones pretty different in that its a doujin game that was never officially localized (ok, there was a mobile port that got released in the west but calling that a translation...... is generous) but the fantranslation finally got finished like? last year? recentlyish. despite its humble routes it made a huge splash in japan and is definitely genre defining. it also isnt as tender and sweet as some of the other games i listed, it fully embodies the charm of alice in wonderland where nearly everyone is an oddball whackjob/asshole (and dont worry, the protagonist can throw a punch) and has an old fashioned affection point and date system which make it feel really old school. its not an eroge but these characters absolutely fuck, which is nice if you want some self indulgent steamy stuff. that said i fully recommend opening up the debug menu and just slapping max affection on your chosen boy bc the low budget, slightly dated mechanics can be kind of a slog. theres also like a shit load of secret events that you need to monitor flags for so you might as well just save yourself the trouble and fudge the numbers a bit. and since the company that made it is fucking dead its 100% free! rad.

collarxmalice: this one is a bit weird bc im more recommending it for the story bc the romance elements didnt really do it for me? like full disclaimer this is a me problem, and even though the romance elements didnt click with me the routes are all still very well written (except.... for one.... who i was expecting to like the most..... aaaaaaaaaaaaa) . the heroine is a cop so shes very action focused and the game even forces you to do your own crime solving, and its easy but its still more immersive than a lot of other games try to be. it has a very strong story and aesthetic and even though it bounced off me im still looking forward to the fandisc releasing on switch so i still really enjoyed it. it was met with rave reviews and was even an office favorite of the translators working on it.

if youre still unsure i suggest just checking out which game has a cast you find appealing, theyre the main reason your here afterall 

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes: Megamorphs 2

Megamorphs 2

Marco 1

Saw something on the news and mentioned it to the others leading to everyone in a storm trying to breathe in dolphin morph

Of course its not like sharks need to breath air and might be better in some cases

Marco uses humor to cope

Rainy day

So why are the animorphs getting involved with a sunken nuclear sub?

Marco wants to go out of his way to save people again.

Him and Rachel are like the most likely on the team to become superheros

Or they could put their stuff in a bag and bury it on the beach instead of putting things in the trash?

How exactly do these guys plan on rescuing people?

Cassie 1

Everybody morphs dolphin

They find the sub

Jake 1

Ah yes the plan to kidnap an officer. Totally would have no negative reprocussions

Can’t just act in a weird and obvious manner to direct people to the sub

Sometimes dolphins help people, sometimes dolphins kill people. Its a rulette game as to whichever a dolphin is more interested in at the moment

The writter makes a comment on war and nukes

A nuke goes off and instead of being vaporised by the light the kids get transported through time and space for some reason

Rachel 1

One of these days a kid is gonna get trapped in morph when they’re uncoincious

Cassie’s the only one who had any injuries from the fucking nuke going off

Why is there a volcano over there? There shouldn’t be volcanoes where they are

Rachel watches the Magic Schoolbus

That’s not how plesiosaurs work and you could never mistake them for a whale even with sonar

Ax is smug about those not being whales

Tobias 1

Why the hell are fucking plesiosaurs intered in them in the first place?

Tobias got vored by something big enough to swallow a 10ft at least dolphin whole

This is causing me pain

Rachel got vored by something that can fit 2 ten or so foot dolphins inside its stomach

Looked it up and yeah no, plesiosaurs were def known to not have flexible necks by the time this was written

No that can’t be an ichthyosaur b/c they’re gone by this point in the Cretaceous and the on ly ones that big were likely FILTER FUCKING FEEDERS

Random ass gulper eel dolphin sea monster

Rachel decides that morphing is the best idea in the stomach

Tobias morphs too

Jake 2

Ax doesnt get to have a turn yet what a surprise

Cassie says they should try to rescue Rachel and Tobias, Jake says thats a fucking dumb idea and he’s right

Jake is pissed at people getting themselves eaten and Cassie coming up with dumb fucking idea

There should actually be some seagull like dinosaurs but I think those were discovered much later than these were written

Kids finally put 2 and 2 together and realized that they aint in Kansas anymore

They havent actually put togther the gone back in time bit yet

Jake and the writer seem to be under the impression that dolphins have no natural defenses

They are almost there in realizing what happened

Cassie 2

Still no fucking Ax narration

THESE KIDS ARE REALLY FUCKING DUMB

Sauropods did not leave elephant like foot prints. At all

Nope not figured it out yet

Cassie, you should know that whales can’t swallow whole full gown dolphins

Cassie almost gets eaten by a crocodilian and these kids still haven’t fucking figured it out

Wait a minute. Grass doesn’t exist in this time period

Also Cassie should know better. Herbivores can and will fuck you up with little provication

They finally figured it out

I see we have movie monster Tyrannosaurs

Rachel 2

Wow Ax really doesnt have any rights does he?

...that’s not how anatomy

Bears are not herder to digest than dolphins

This is hurting ,me

Tobias everything you said aside from the hadrosaurs was pure bullshit

Rachel thinks the dinosaur angle is rediculous

Tobias 2

Tobias you have a fucking hork-bajir morph you utter dumbass

Wow Tobias is bad at morphing, he can’t even get rid of his injuries

Tobias gets to be extra useless and cause Rac hel pain by haveing to perch on her

Grass doesnt exist in this time period

There was a gradual decline in the late Cretaceous of nonavien dinosaurs, the asteroid was the last nail in the coffin

T. rex was just another animal not not much more dangerous than say a lion, just bigger

Marco 2

Ax doesnt get to narrate I guess

There is no reason for the tyrannosaur to be chasing them it just made a fucking kill

They aren’t even the right size to be worth the fucking effort either

Marco almost gets eaten and is saved by Ax who papercuts the thing to death

Ax 1

Yeaaaah Ax vs Tyrannosaur should not end in victory for Ax

I flatout don’t belive this rediculousness and my suspension of disbelife died several chapters ago

Ax is fucking shook that worked

Ok good Ax was very very fucking lucky that worked and not gonna try that again

No, Ax, no that is not scientificly possible b/c theres no fucking dna in the fucking fossiles they are bone and other shit shaped rocks

When the fuck did Cassie get any survival skills? Did she decide to brush up after the Karen incident

Well we have ‘I will survive this with or without you’!Cassie today

Yall could actually morph Ax and have your own andalite tails. Or fucking morph hork-bajir

Rachel 3

Grass still doesnt exist yet

At no point did rachel think to escue some modesty and make wraps for her feet

Rachel suggests that Tobias morph human, even perminatly

He is very shit at morphing 

I guess he expects that he’s got days to live as a wounded bird over anything else he could fucking morph

Rachel refuses to fucking make it known that she’s suffering

In what fucking world does that description matach a triceratops

Also deinonychus, not around at the end of the cretaceous

Deinonychus is about almost 3 ft tall at hip and a ft longer than that

Naked ass ones at that

Them going after them at least makes sense

Cassie 3

Camping and eating tyrannosaur meat

Gonna sleep in shifts

People keep forgetting that they have hork-bajir morphs which are amazing and also that they could just aquire Ax

Tobias 3

Nothing about the majority of large dromaeosaurs suggests that they’re fast. The opposite actually. Ambush predators not chasers.

Tobias and Rachel split up

Tobias and the writers forgot about wing assisted incline running and the fact that raptors can fucking climb if the have to

Tobias drops on one and aquires it

Tobias 4?

This is going with the not-dynonicus being diurnal for some reason

Tobias lost control of the morph and will probably attack Rachel

Jake 3

The rock that was the final nail for the dinos is estableshed bvery firmly\

Stampede

And a nother tyrannosaur

Jake trips and falls when it matters most

Rachel 4

Tobias is really serious about not identifying as human

Rachel tries to reach him over smashing the lead raptor

Jake 4

Jake gets vored by the tyrannosaur whole even tho it was already eating bigger more interesting prey

Jake aquires the thing and starts morphing imediately

That tyrannosaur broke its fucking tail

Everyone aquires the injured dinosaur

Marco 3

Marcos not happy and everyone misses Rachel

More travel

Ax says the flash of light that started the stampede was artifical

Did Ax just say he can see ultraviolet and infrared

They find an alien city

Tobias 5

Tobias is bitching about Rachel still being mad that he gutted her

Neither of them are healing their injuries for no good reason

Ew, Tobias gross.

Rachel has a raptor morph now

Rachel isn’t a coherent person when hrungy and tired

Why are there coconut trees? They dont exist yet

Rachel eats a not coconut

No. That is not a fucking spinosaurus. Spino is fucking African and didn’t live at the same time as T.rex

Tobias metally calls Rachel stupid

Rachel 5

This is really fucking poorly reserched

And lo an alien:

And that's when I noticed the other creature step smoothly out from the

bushes.

It walked on two legs. It was rough-textured, like it had really chapped

skin. It was reddish in color. It had two big eyes and a small mouth,

all of the same reddish-rust hue. It stood about eight feet tall. It was

carrying a weapon.

The creature gazed curiously at us with what seemed to be eyes, although

they were mere indentations in its face. From its head a pair of

antennae, flexible as whips, grew and began waving toward us.

The alien calls dibs on the dinosaurs and speaks Fucking English

The nesk

The nesk is a pile of antlike creatures

Anmd really Rachel just fucking escalate things to outright violence

Cassie 4

Cassie suggests that they just go see who the aliens are

And that Jake stay behind b/c she doesnt want to loose more people

The alien city:

We flew toward the shining city in the valley. With osprey eyes I could see much more clearly. I saw buildings that rose in steep, smooth sweeps, like they'd grown from the bedrock. Windows were stuck in odd locations, some aiming out, others more like skylights. And there were fields planted with green and arranged in neat circles instead of rows.

The aliens themselves:

As we got closer, I could see creatures of some sort. They looked a little like large - very large - crabs. Only with shells in a wild array of colors, deep blue, spring green, orange. And while on one side there was something very much like a large pincer, on the other side there was a pair of hands.

Crab people

TRhe kids are attacked by naked pterosaurs

Tobias 6

Wow its almost like starting a fight with an unknown party can go wrong

The ship:

The ground beside me exploded, like it had been ripped by an invisible

plow. I jumped. Another plow mark just behind me! I saw movement. And

there, racing toward us across the plain, was a gleaming, silver craft.

Maybe twice the size of a Bug fighter, but shaped like an elongated

pyramid, long end forward.

The nesk herd Rachel and Tobias away from their claimed territory

Ah they’re falling over the cliff of the mercora city

Jake 5

Daring mid air antics and the team is reunited

Also a force field wich is smart\

Ax is tired of having to be the info guy

At least its not a killer forcefield like the kind that yeerks use

The mercora introduce themselves

Ax 2

Ax and his andalite bullshit

More of the mercora:

There were three of the creatures. They moved upon seven legs. Four on

one side, three on the other. To make matters worse, the four

legs were larger than the three. So they scuttled sideways in the

direction of the small legs.

They stood about half the height of a tall human, and seven or eight

feet wide.

On the side with the four big legs, there was a sort of three-way pincer

claw. It looked very powerful. It looked like the sort of thing I would

not want to have to fight against.

On the other side, the weak side, there were two arms similar to my own,

but even stronger than human arms. The arms ended in long, tapered,

delicate fingers.

There were a lot of eyes. They kept opening and shutting, one or two or

three at a time. They were each hidden beneath tiny trap doors in the

Mercora's exoskeleton or shell. Eyes were forever appearing and

disappearing. It was very, very distracting.

Which is a cool design

They talk in thought speak

Just b/c humans in the future don’t know about the mercora doesnt mean they left or were destroy you dumb fucks

Marco 4

The mercora healed Tobias, gave everyone food, a place to stay and even offered to make them soem clothes

The crabs wear clothing or at least make it

And they have force field furniture

Also that’s not how broccli works

Marco makes a vore joke about the mecora

Really Cassie?

The mercora are herbivores

All you have is the mecoras’ word on that and they are in direct conflict with the nesk 

And so what if they’re scavengers?

Very rarely but sometimes Cassie has a valid point

Ax 3

Ax is still kinda specist

Hmm I wonder why the mercora aprove? Its not like they can have an alterior motive here

And the mercora are going to help

Ax is very lonely in genera;

Cassie 5

The writers are fucking awesomebros

And they can’t control the morphs

Cassie gets wounded by a ceratopsian

Jake 6 

What? We were just with Cassie oh forget it

Jake is suicidally confidant that Cassie wouldn’t eat him

Apparently Jake is right

Cassie freaks out

Ax 3

Tobias keeps being wrong.

The nesk have thought speak detectors

Tobias 7

They group steal an explosive and destroy the nesk ships

Rachel 6

The nesk retaliate very effectively

Ax calls for back up 

TRachel throws herself around to draw away fire from the others

The mercora attempt a rescue and loose a ship

Culture:

The Mercora saucer picked us up, us and our little nuke. But they were a

grim, depressed bunch of aliens. It was hard to tell at first. But then

I noticed that each of them was minus one of their smaller legs. There

were just oozing stumps.

"What happened to your legs?" I asked. But even as the words were out of

my mouth, I saw the limbs in the corner. They were laid out on a

brightly colored cloth which was draped over a shelf. There was

something ceremonial about it. Almost religious.

<Can you explain the meaning of this?> Ax asked politely.

<We must make the sacrifice of pain. The legs will regenerate, but those

we honor will not,> the Mercora pilot said. <This is a symbol. It speaks

to our spirit's pain, by echoing it in physical pain.>

"They did this for the Mercora who were in the other ship?" Jake asked.

<For those who were in both ships,> the pilot said. <To be killed is a

sadness. To kill is a sin.>

Jake says the they owe the mercora for saving them

Fuck you Tobias

Tobias 8

Tobias this is premeditated murder

The nesk have decided to leave the earth

The mercora claim that the nesk altered the path of the meteor

They want to use the bomb to save themselves

Cassie 6

Fuck you Tobias

You need to be held accountable for this shit

Its almost like the vast majority of things to ever live never leave any fucking fossils you nit

This bastard is really trying to justify himself like this is anyway defensible

Fuck you Tobias, you get to join Cassie and Jake in the bin of fucking terrible people

Jake 7

Oh what you little bitch babies can’t handle the consequences?

Tobias deserves his unhappines and eventual death

Cassie 7

Cassie at least decides to bear witness to their crime

CVassie saw the time pass

No good reason given why they can’t retain those morphs

Tobias needs to pay for his shit

[zerochanges]

Valentine’s Chocolates and Glass Masks

The romance genre in anime is a little weird, and honestly on the whole the majority of the genre in anime is probably a bit too slow for its own good. “Will they or won’t they” is something most romantic fiction is guilty of, but I think you’d be hard press to come across 150 episode TV series dedicated solely to that premise anywhere else. And this has nothing on the pure silliness that can come with the genre; hand holding, indirect kisses, masked secret admirers, all that good stuff. Really, I’m not here to trash talk romantic anime though, but as I sat down and tried to think about writing a Valentine's Day blog post I just couldn't help but think to myself how romance anime might be the hardest to explain to anyone not in the fandom. I mean, I think I’d have an easier time explaining the plot of any given saga in DBZ than I would explaining “Notice me, senpai” to somebody.

You know what though, I kind of ironically enjoy all of this. Yeah, pure romance anime can be cheesy, but it’s just the right amount cheese that it’s like, c’mon, how can you not enjoy this? Perhaps the worst (or best!) offender of this are older shoujo titles where they can seem almost downright like a soap opera at times. Shows like these are just so full of bizarre, off-the-walls, and over-the-top melodrama that they manage to suck me completely in. They’re heartbreaking, they’re engaging, and the times when they fail at being those things they are hilarious. 

My most recent experience with an older shoujo title like this would have to be studio Eiken’s 1984 adaptation of Glass Mask. Now Glass Mask (or Glass no Kamen as it is known by some) is a manga that started life in 1976 and to this day has yet to be finished, with the manga creator Suzue Miuchi stating she would like to finish it soon, but hasn't quite figured out when that will be (move over Hunter x Hunter fans). Having been one of the earlier shoujo titles starting back in the mid-70’s the series is full to the brim with pretty much every cliche and trope you can think of for shoujo anime, and to a modern audience it can often be almost hilarious at times to sit through. It is important to remember that for its time Glass Mask was a trend-setter and arguably if not the creator than certainly the reason why a lot of these cliches became cliches in the first place. Over the years Glass Mask has received its fair share of adaptations and even parodies, and currently has 3 different animes as well as a live action drama series and real life stage plays based on it. I heard the most recent anime, the 2005 TMS adaptation of Glass Mask, does a pretty great job at modernizing several aspects of the series, but unfortunately I have yet to watch that to weigh in so all I can say is that I was inundated with more cliches than I could count and laughed a ton while watching the 1984 series and I loved every minute of it. 

Glass Mask is the story of a young 13 year old girl Maya Kitajima, who has a dream to be a great theatre actress. Unfortunately for Maya she’s from a very poor family, and even more unfortunately for her, she is incredibly average looking with no flair--and don’t worry, the anime will remind you of that fact countless times every episode. Despite her damnable curse of “just looking kind of average” Maya will stop at nothing to pursue her dream and eventually runs away from home after getting a scholarship for an acting school. There, the enigmatic Chigusa Tsukikage notices Maya’s talents and takes her on as her protege. Soon, Maya learns that her mentor Tsukikage was once a legendary actress thought to be truly one of the all time greats who due to a tragic Phantom of the Opera style accident had her face hideously scarred and retreated out of the spotlight. 

Tsukikage is looking to pass on her talents to the future generation and eventually pass on her greatest possession, the rights to the elusive Crimson Goddess play--a supposed legendary masterpiece that has not been seen by anyone in decades; not since Tsukikage’s career ruining accident. For some reason the director and creator of the the Crimson Goddess play saw it fit to beseech all the rights to his masterpiece to Tsukikage and thus nobody else has been able to produce this elusive phantom play since. It won’t be easy for Maya and the Tsukikage acting school, as media conglomerate and mega corporation Daito Entertainment will stop at nothing to get the rights to the Crimson Goddess, and isn't afraid to sabotage them at every step of the way. Perhaps Maya’s greatest rival however is the young Ayumi Himekawa, the daughter of an already famous actress who is said to be the favorite to inherit the Crimson Goddess role, and is everything Maya isn't; beautiful, rich, famous and well loved by all, and while not a student of Tsukikage she is more than willing to pass on the rights to Himekawa if Maya fails to prove herself.

It’s easy to already see the cheesiness just from me trying my best to summarize the basic plot, and we haven’t even gotten into the romances yet. Maya’s relationship with the young Yu Sakurakoji is fairly simple at first, as he helped rescue her from a feral dog and despite being in rival acting schools--one affiliated under Daito no less, he’s a pretty chill guy that enjoys spending time with her and doesn't care about all that stuff. It’s only after Maya starts to take off in her career that Sakurakoji starts to spiral into this insane inferiority complex centered around her, where he thinks she has become too good an actress for him to be around anymore and starts to give her the cold shoulder all because of his own make-believe shortcomings. It’s very odd and sudden, and the entire thing is blown out of proportions as Maya clearly does not think that and Sakurakoji eventually has to be lectured by bad boy Masumi of all people to come around and start spending time with Maya again. Even after this however it isn't like the old days anymore and the gap that was created from his own complex still lingers.

And oh boy, don’t get me started on Masumi, he’s quite the character. Masumi Hayami is the 24 year old son of the president of Daito Entertainment and is currently running the corporation in his father’s stead. Masumi serves as both an antagonist and love interest (because of course he can be both) in the early parts of the story and is often behind some (but not all) the sabotage done to Tsukikage’s acting school. Masumi will eventually take a more reasonable approach when it comes to trying to yank the rights of the Crimson Goddess away from Tsukikage’s hands as the anime progresses, often just by having his acting school beating Tsukikage’s students in contest and the like, and it’s here where we usually see Masumi’s employees that work under him being the more underhanded characters instead of Masumi directly engaging in the conflict.

Despite being on different sides, so to speak, Masumi catches one of Maya’s earliest performances, her role as Beth in Little Women, and falls in love with the young girl, impressed by both her potential as an actress and her fortitude for going on with the show despite suffering from a dangerously high fever and immediately being rushed to the doctors after the curtains fall. From this point on her takes the role of “Mr Purple Rose” named for the bouquet of purple roses he sends to her at every show. As her secret admirer and the first fan Maya has ever had he means a lot to her yet as his true identity of Masumi he’s an enemy that Maya cannot stand to breathe the same air as. So in short, Masumi is just your average 24 year old CEO of a mega corporation crushing on a 13 year old girl from a small acting school he is trying to ruin and also her secret admirer. Somehow Masumi is one of the best characters in the series, and is my best boy. Only in shoujo!

So far I've been having some cheap laughs at the expense of the 1984 Glass Mask anime but it’s not all like this. The over-the-top bombardment of old school shoujo cliches and the laughs I got from them may be one of the most memorable component of my viewing but there’s actually a lot more to this anime than that. When you get beyond the silly age gap romances and the flowery melodrama of young teenage love, Glass Mask is a story of artists trying to pursue their passions and dedicating their everything to them. Maya may be cursed to forever be “only average looking” but I really respect her drive to dedicate her entire life to theatre. 

Well, that is to say, the times when she isn't acting like punching bag to the rest of the cast (Glass Mask has a tendency to make Maya into a Cinderella surrounded by tons of wicked stepsisters). When Maya is written not as a Cinderella she’s fiercely determined, and never backs down despite some straight-up abusive behavior she is put through. At times her mentor Tsukikage is absolutely savage, regularly beating Maya and putting her through some training that is definitely highly illegal, at least for today’s standards. For instance she once threw Maya in a shed and locked the door refusing to let her out until she finally understood her character she was assigned. Did I mention it was in the middle of the freezing cold winter and snowing out and Maya only had the clothes on her back for warmth? She was out there for days with no food, water, or even warmth. But don’t worry, she had her script to read and that made it all okay. Like goddamn, somebody call child protective services on this lady.

Speaking about “the art” and everyone’s passions, the more you watch the series the more it becomes obvious that the creator, Suzue Miuchi, really cares for theatre and isn't just using it as a vehicle to propel her own story. There are countless renditions of classic plays shown in Glass Mask, such as the mentioned already Little Women, The Miracle Worker, and Wuthering Heights, just to name a few. Some of these plays are presented without any changes while others may have reinterpretations made to them by the characters who are trying to give their roles a life of their own away from the original source material. Miuchi very much understands theatre and does a great job converting many famous plays into a more compressed and easily digestible form of entertainment that can be viewed on a week by week bases. The analysis characters give about the plays and other characters’ performances, the ways characters interpret their parts, and how the plays that we are privy to see in the series end up all show a deeper understanding of the medium. Watching Glass Mask is almost like taking a beginning course in theatre that covers all the classics, only with way more melodrama and over-the-top romance than you will find in your local theatre group. I hope.

What’s the most impressive however goes beyond just Miuchi’s renditions of other classic works and instead are her own plays that she creates herself. As not only does Glass Mask use pre-existing plays it also has its own original productions that will spring up in-between the real world plays. A lot of these self created plays are very enjoyable too, and some feel way more fleshed out than they have any right to be and you often find yourself regretting that you are only privy to a small part of the performance and not able to just sit there and watch the entire play like the characters in the anime do. Maybe that’s why it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that some of the plays Miuchi has created for her manga have later been adapted into real life plays in Japanese theatres. This is probably the greatest testament to the series’ popularity right there, where its own fictional works are turned real. I can’t think of many examples of something like that happening before.

I’d be remiss not to mention the visual aspect of this series before wrapping up my thoughts on it too. While certainly no powerhouse in animation, Glass Mask 1984 goes for a more picturesque route, and does a great job with tons of beautiful still shots and intricately detailed background images. It’s a humble production but with the right use of lighting a lot of scenes can really shine (pardon the terrible pun it was an accident), especially the night shots which can be pure art. Hang it in a museum, I say. I’m almost surprised we don’t see more “aesthetic” anime blogs mining images from this series. Veteran director Gisaburo Sugii (Dororo, Touch, Osamu Tezuka’s Phoenix) leads the production with skilled marksmanship you would expect from his previous (and future) pedigree, and along with legendary animator the late Shingo Araki (Ashita no Joe, Galaxy Express 999, Saint Seiya) the series has a wonderful 80’s flair to it that just fills any retro anime fan full of nostalgia whether or not they have seen the show before.

Studio Eiken’s 1984 Glass Mask adaptation is a short, briskly paced 22 episode series that is easy on the eyes and not hard at all to still sit through for modern audiences. It’s full of tons of laughs (both ironic and sincere) as well as tons of melodrama and over-the-top romance. Most importantly though, it’s a full of passion; lots and lots of passion. During its short episode count the series watches Maya progress as an actress and grow older, with her finishing middle school and beginning high school while also balancing full time acting jobs on the side. The ending is left open--and let’s face it the manga hasn't even ended some 35 years later still--but there’s enough forward momentum in the series to really feel like your time with the characters wasn't wasted and that they were able to accomplish something--not to mention the ending spot is a pretty decent one leaving the viewer wanting more but enjoying a satisfying conclusion to one of the more interesting story arcs adapted. Overall I think anyone who enjoys cheesy anime romance can sit down with this series and have a fun Valentine’s.

[subdivisi0ns]

tagged by the lovely @britneyshakespeare to answer these 10 questions & come up with 10 of my own. thank you !! 💗

psa i wrote way too much please don’t read this. just skip to the questions at the end if i tagged you

1. What are 3 songs that mean something to you, and what do they mean?

that’s hard because i don’t usually find personal meanings in songs. i’m a lot more interested in what the song means to the artist who wrote it. but let’s see if i can think of some

-um. after all by david bowie was always Highly Relatable. like. prattling on & on waxing philosophical only to suddenly realize everything i said is wrong and don’t hate me and also now i’m having an existential crisis and i shouldn’t have started talking in the first place? M e

-when i was first getting into rush i was a big fan of Self Isolating To Cope and also i had no friends and was proud of it (bc if i couldn’t find a way to take pride in my [perceivedly] unchangeable flaws my entire self image would come crashing to the ground and that just wasn’t a good time . anyway). so the lines “nothing can survive in a vacuum / no one can exist all alone” from turn the page pissed me off. but now! now i have loads of friends and i feel legitimately cared about and i feel like i can comfortably reciprocate that and now when i hear that song i think you know what neil? you’re goddamn right.

-uh i s’pose i relate to another brick in the wall pt 3 which is not a good thing but. i dunno i really love being angrily in denial of needing any help whatsoever along to this song. it’s my flaw-pride anthem (don’t worry i don’t take it literally. it’s just fun in the moment)

-shit i know this said three but the one person who i relate to EVERY FUCKING SONG he’s ever put out is bill wurtz. never have i felt so understood than when i listen to bill wurtz’s music. god it’s the most uncanny feeling, i really really understand it a lot

ok i have to stop thinking of more . turns out a lot have meaning to me ive spent like an hour on this question alone Moving On

2. What’s your ideal self like?

. this was The Worst question to ask me because i can and will ramble on for hours given the opportunity

well i’d be able to execute my ideas, for one. instead of just having a half-baked - quarter-baked - fleeting concept with no real idea of how to achieve it. more specifically i want to be able to write songs. more more specifically i want to be able to write the music aspect of songs. i can’t do it. i dont fuckin know why i just can’t. but if i could i think i just might be content with life.

but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still things to improve. i wish i was funnier. i like my weird brand of humor/abstractity online but that’s hard to replicate in real life. i wish i was better at thinking on the spot. i wish my memory didn’t only retain stuff when it feels like it. i wish i was better at putting my thoughts into words, more concisely and accurately and effectively.

um i wish i didnt have executive function issues. like i wanna just do stuff and not have it take all the energy out of me. wish i had the energy to do it to begin with. wish i could keep up with socializing and not ignore people for hours/days because i can’t get myself to maintain conversation.

ok clearly this is leading down an endless tunnel of what i’d change so . i’ll just say my ideal self is a successful musician with a good social life but also an element of mystery and intrigue. my ideal self is just david bowie

3. Who, of all your family members (immediate or extended), do you think has had the most influence on you, for better or for worse?

my mom for a lot (a looooooot) of reasons but if i go into it this is gonna push it over the line from a tag game into a therapy session (if i havent crossed that line already)

4. What’s your main outlet of expression?

writing. journalling. fuckin , social media. actually yeah that more than anything. my Self is on display here if you look at my tumblr(s) my twitter(s) and my instagram(s) you’ve got a pretty goddamn decent picture of who i am

5. What was the first album you ever bought for yourself?

uh i mean i listen to most stuff off of youtube if i don’t already have it so like,,? i dunno. does itunes count? the first vinyl i ever got was wish you were here (for forty fuckin bucks god) but i paid with my aunt’s money so does that even count. i don’t know.

6. Do you like to go shopping?

depends on a lot of things. lately i’ve been in the mood to just get out of the damn house whenever possible (love being a high school dropout !) so the answer is pretty much yes anytime. but it really depends.

7. Kind of cliche but, if you could have dinner with any person, living or dead, who would you pick?

i wanna be the fourth person at the dinner with rush table. just to observe. i’d be terrified to actually have a conversation with any of my idols. okay but if i had to get over that fear i guess i’d pick..... bowie? todd? i don’t know this is hard. alex lifeson circa 197something so he can take me back to his place afterwards you pickin up what im puttin down

8. What TV show do you watch when you’re feeling stressed or low and you need a quick feel-better fix?

i don’t watch tv like ever not even in this case but i guess full house

9. What was the last intriguing conversation you had about?

everything my girlfriend said to me today (edit: yesterday but i did this last night) was great everything my girlfriend’s ever said to me was great

oh that didn’t answer the question at all i just realized. uh they were telling me about the star wars prequels (which i have not seen) and earlier we were having a very analytical conversation about a particularly interesting rush photo

also me & @swanky-trash were discussing our plans to take down trump and all the rest of those bastards while wearing jareth from labyrinth costumes and eating mushrooms. because it’s our destiny as clones separated at birth. yknow just life stuff

10. What’s something about yourself that you don’t think comes across as painfully obvious online, but is, in fact, in person?

shit are we at the end already? damn. i was enjoying this (can you tell).

okay here’s another one i could go on for 12 years about. but uh. i probably come across as way more perky irl? like my voice is all high pitched and i talk really fast and smile and laugh at everything and i have a whatever the opposite of monotone is voice. i don’t like that. i try to combat it online with the all-lowercase typing and shortening of words and omission of punctuation and that sort of thing. i think it’s worked. also i may be terrible at typing but i am WAY worse at speaking. i’m scatterbrained as hell and if i seem at all interesting or witty online that all goes to shit irl. also i can’t fucking talk to people who i only know in person? it just doesn’t work. thank god i have you guys

haaaa okay sorry for the rambling here are the questions

1. what’s the best day/one of the best days you’ve ever had?

2. how important is your social media presence to you?

3. what achievement are you proudest of?

4. describe your sense of humor.

5. is there anything you’re good at or like to do that people who don’t know you well probably wouldn’t expect?

6. what’s your most interesting family story?

7. favorite color palette?

8. what’s something that would be very “out of character” for you to do?

9. yknow that thing on twitter that’s like “pick 1 & rt for good luck” and the options are good grades, meet your idol, money, or crush texts you? which one would/did you pick and why?

10. what’s a song you either wish you’d written or feel like you could’ve written?

i tag @thetemplesofrush @thumbnailoak3 @swanky-trash @lavender-layne @realalexlifeson @davies-jones @goallines-and-musicrhymes @fruitthemed @graveyarding @cosmikdebris99 and anyone else who wants to do it and dont feel pressured to do it etc etc god i hope none of you actually read this whole thing i am so sorry