#i honestly have nothing to say and everything to say at the same time

[zarnzarn]

new fic, tw rescue from a kidnapping and s/a (calypso), illiad modern spy au

They find him in the place they were told they would.

The lot of them almost don't make it past the door with how all of them fight to get inside first. The woman inside screams and drops her basket of fruits as they storm into the kitchen, staring at them with wide, piteous eyes as they all point their swords at her.

"Where is he?" Eurylochus snarls, half-bear in his rage. The guilt has been ripping him apart, whatever he and Odysseus disagreed on before he disappeared into thin air all those months ago, driving him wild. Menelaus nearly flinches himself when he roars louder, "WHERE IS HE?"

"Have you people never heard of politeness?" The woman demands starchly, even though she's still pressed back against the counter. Menelaus sees her eyes flash with power as she scowls at them, and takes a deep breath, readying his sword.

If he dies fighting her- if any of them do- the rest will understand. It's only because of Odysseus that any of them were alive at all.

"We were told that the merchant Xen'ath made a sale to you, seven months ago," Diomedes cuts in, voice cold. "An illegal one, even for a protected one like you."

She snorts, jewellery tinkling. She looks kind, and for a desperate moment Menelaus hopes.

"What will you do, put me in jail?" Calypso giggles. "Besides, a sale is a sale. He's mine, fair and square, so if you all would kindly-"

A vase crashes by her head, scattering muddy water and making her scream.

Patroclus hasn't recovered much from the coma, but he's just as angry as any of them and wouldn't be talked out of not coming along, even though he has to use a cane. He doesn't know about how they all fell apart while he was under, but has informed them all quite clearly that not only does he not care, in this situation it does not matter.

Menelaus holds out a hand to signal him to back down, knowing that they are all barely holding onto their fury enough to get answers.

"Where is he?" Ajax cuts in quietly. They point their swords again.

She scans them all calculatingly, grimacing. Then recovers, tossing her hair over her shoulder proudly, hmphing at them.

"In the basement," She says casually, and Menelaus' heart drops. Horror suffuses the faces around him, with many eyes closing in pained resignation, even though they already knew the truth. Knew what kind of sale it had been.

Penelope had recovered over fifteen hundred victims in her search for her husband, and all of them had the same story.

"He tried to run last week," She sighs, putting her hands on her hips and talking with such casual disappointment that it makes his blood run cold, makes him want to throw up. "Honestly, I made sure that he had everything one could need, I don't know what on earth-"

"Shut up," Polites snaps. "Just- shut up!"

"Why, you-" Calypso growls, eyes turning pink as she calls her power, and with a roar of fury, Achilles rounds the table and attacks.

Menelaus whistles to the others and they all scatter. He comes out at the veranda, opening every door and cursing when there's nothing beyond. It's a beautiful house- idyllic and pristine and packed with luxury, and it makes Menelaus want to claw off his own skin.

"HERE!" Someone shouts inside, and Menelaus skids to a stop and changes direction. They all reach the door at the same time, and he holds back the dizzying wave of horror at the lock on the outside as they all hack at the wood like crazed people to get in.

The door crashes down and Menelaus charges down the stairs into the dark room, scrambling for his torch.

"ODYSSEUS!" He shouts, moving it around. "ODY-"

They all go dead silent.

Odysseus scrabbles back, eyes glinting and wild in the light of the torch. He's still in the same outfit they have the last sighting of him in, dirtied and torn now, but the man wearing it is completely different- hair overgrown and body rail-thin, so much so that Menelaus for a heart-stopping second doesn't recognise him.

There's a chain around his leg, connected to the floor. A collar with an owl on it, made of metal that's been welded shut straight on and rope on his wrists. A dirty cloth stuffed in his mouth.

Blood on his legs.

"Odysseus!" Polites is the first to break their standstill, a huge grin of pained relief on his face as he rushes forward. It falls as Odysseus gives a small scream of terror and tries to get away from him, making the metal dig into his already scarred ankle.

Of terror. Of terror. Ten years of knowing him, and Menelaus has never seen Odysseus afraid.

Odysseus spits out the cloth. "Please," He whispers, voice wrecked, and they all flinch. The Odysseus in Menelaus' memory shines bright and golden, charming and funny and kind and angry and humble, despite having run missions for his kingdom since he was thirteen, sharper and swifter than all of them. This is not his friend. "Please, not them, not them, don't wear their faces too, please."

And-

Menelaus comes to with his face pressed against the wall, tears streaming down his face. Sick with rage and guilt and fury and horror. The others aren't faring any better when someone snaps over the microphones for them to hurry up and he turns back around- Eurylochus is sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, two others are vomiting, Polites has disappeared and the rest are just standing there frozen, crying. Patroclus is the only one who's kept his head on enough to attempt quiet reassurance, crouched near a trembling, animal version of their best spy and talking softly to him, trying to coax him away from cutting into his own skin with the rusted metal.

He tried to run away last week, Menelaus grasps onto desperately. It means he's still in there, fighting.

He can't take his eyes off the blood. There's so much of it.

"Eurylochus!" Polites snaps as he comes back down the stairs, a blowtorch in hand. "Hold him."

Odysseus screams at their approach and Menelaus does not have the courage to keep looking, places both hands over his ears like a child, unable to bear it.

(Penelope had opened the door to the group of them; twelve men Odysseus had run with for ten years who had no idea he disappeared until someone casually mentioned that Penelope had gone rogue and was on the watchlist for having tortured and murdered Circe.

Her eyes had been frigid. "Welcome," She said, as if they were strangers and not close friends. "You're quite lucky you decided to visit, you know. I had plans of killing you lot next."

Menelaus doesn't blame her.

She'd sent them all message after message, call after call- begging, pleading, bargaining; that they all ignored out of grudges and anger, until she'd stopped asking and done it herself. None of the fights Odysseus had had with them had even been that bad- it was just, somehow, every single one of them had just been that little bit extra annoyed as to not pick up when it had been her calling; and then Xen'ath had all Penelope's calls rerouted, so she couldn't reach them anyway.

"Queen of Ithaka," He'd bowed, Helen bowing lower at his side. "... Penelope. I- We are all so incredibly sorry-"

"Save it," She'd said, holding up a hand. "Just answer me this- would you rather run a mission or guard Telemachus? And what is your price?"

That had thrown them.

"Penelope," Diomedes had stepped forward hesitantly, looking heartbroken. "We would- all of us, any of us- we would do anything to save your husband. You don't need to fucking pay us to rescue him- we are his friends. We are your friends."

"Then WHERE WERE YOU?" Penelope screams, and her mask finally cracks with it, eyes filled with tears and mouth curled in rage. "Where were any of you when he- when I-" Diomedes grabs her and pulls her into a hug and she breaks down sobbing. "Where were all of you when we needed you?"

"Penelope," Menelaus says, stepping forward to place a hand on her shoulder. Glass crunches under his feet and guilt overcomes him again- all this while he'd been living in luxury, unburdened, his sister-in-law had given up everything to run missions on her own, feeding her people and taking down enemy after enemy while living in squalor herself, in a building full of unsavory men. Tears come to his own eyes. "Please, I beg you to believe me. None of us, not a single one- we did not know. We did not know your husband never made it home, Penelope, I swear on the Styx."

"Then you should have picked up my calls," She snarls, venomous, and gathers herself back up to push Diomedes and him away. "Now. Mission or Telemachus?")

When he takes his hands off, the silence is ringingly loud, the phantom screams still stuck in his ears. Menelaus looks when Odysseus whimpers suddenly and sees his sister's husband holding him down while Polites melts the collar off, Ajax silently working on the chain around his ankle.

Achilles shouts from upstairs and Diomedes calls back, and he comes into the room with grim eyes. "How is he?"

None of them can bring themselves to reply. The collar falls off with a thud.

"Odysseus, hey, we've come to rescue you," Polites tries again, smiling at him and holding his head in his hands so they can meet his eyes. "Don't worry now, we're here."

Odysseus is still. Too still.

Diomedes steps forward, eyes hard, and carefully pulls Polites' hands away. "He'll attack you. If shapeshifting is involved-"

Silence.

"What is wrong with all of you?" Patroclus says suddenly, scowling. "Did you lose your training along with your brains when I was unconscious? Soldiers, post-rescue protocol, now."

The command shocks him back to adrenaline, and they all burst into familiar movements, collecting pictures and pulling out shock blankets. Someone grabs Odysseus as the chain unravels and holds him still while they cut him free, and another talks gently to him as they inject him with a sedative. Menelaus is just glad it isn't him, because he doesn't think that even with his hardened nerves he could bear to face the fact that- to treat Odysseus like-

He looks away as Achilles grabs the other in a fireman's carry and makes his way to the door instead, pushing the debris out of the way to let them through.

Calypso isn't going to be held back for long.

"NO!" She screeches as she bursts through a wall, three times bigger than they left her. Menelaus slashes and she cowers back, baring her teeth in fear. Her face falls as she catches sight of Achilles running out the door, and tears well up in her eyes instead. "No, please, I can't be alone again! I can't be locked in here, please, I can't be alone, send anything, anyone, please!"

"Go fuck yourself," Ajax says savagely as he swings at her, and Menelaus grabs the person closest and yells for a retreat.

The van rumbles along. The windshield wipers swing.

"How long does the sedative last?" Menelaus hears himself ask.

"Should be done by now," Polites says, voice similarly bleak, turning to Odysseus. "Ody?"

Odysseus is crouched in the far corner of the van, staring at them all with sharp, hate-filled paranoia. Menelaus swallows and slows the vehicle, the rest of them turning to look.

"You're safe," Ajax says, softer than he's ever heard from him. "We got you out, Odysseus, you're going back home."

Odysseus narrows his eyes and snarls. Menelaus braces himself for something biting and sharp about how they could have done it earlier, better, faster. Except- "I'm not falling for another illusion, Calypso. Drop the fucking act."

Menelaus hits the brakes and closes his eyes as he presses his face against the steering wheel. "It's not an illusion, Ody, we promise. We're actually here."

"You don't have your chains any more, see?" Eurylochus tries. When he turns, they're all clearly holding themselves back from rushing forward in heartbreak; Odysseus had been the touchy one amongst them, winding around them like a hyperactive snake and hanging off them and hugging them tight and offering handshakes and high-fives, no matter that they were all hardened warriors. To have him clearly ready to throw a punch if they approach hurts. "Your collar is off- why would Calypso do that?"

Odysseus' face spasms and he grabs for his neck. Feels around as if it might be a trick, expression blank.

"Athena," He says abruptly, and Menelaus is extremely confused for a second before he recalls the owl etched into the metal and catches Diomedes' eyes in sudden horrified agony. Of all the terrible-

"Athena," Odysseus breathes, bending over with eyes wide in disbelief, saying it as if he can't believe he can. Hope flares in his eyes, before crumpling at the sudden landslide of grief that follows, tears Menelaus never saw from him at the worst of the Troy mission dripping down his face. "Athena. Athena. Athena! ATHENA! ATHENA!"

His voice is agonizing to hear, crazed and desperate, and someone rushes forward with a tranquilizer, before-

A loud clap, blinding light, and Athena, the goddess herself, appears in their mission vehicle.

"What the fuck," Ajax whispers next to him, grabbing Menelaus by the arm. They're both trembling. Everyone is. "What the fuck- that's actually her."

Athena snaps her neck around to study them all with blank eyes, nodding to a terrified Diomedes, before looking down at Odysseus. Studies him.

Oh shit, Menelaus thinks, remembering the rumors of Medusa, and motions for someone to intervene as he struggles with the seatbelt.

She dissolves her spear suddenly and- holds out her arms.

"What?" Odysseus says faintly, which sums that up too.

"What?" Athena returns, sounding- defensive? Confused? "You were the one who insisted on hugs and physical touch to be added to the rescue recovery manual."

Menelaus finally makes it over the barrier to the back of the van and gets to watch everyone's brains break slightly, and for Odysseus' mouth to drop open in sheer disbelief. Menelaus still knows him enough to recognise the look of him very much wanting to say that is not something you say in a situation like this before a smile suddenly pulls at his lips. A threadbare, incredulous giggle escapes him, then rickety, mirthful laughter and Menelaus breathes a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I did," Odysseus grins slightly, and walks closer- hugging the goddess without a lick of fear, of course he does. The gods are famous for their pride and detachment and untouchability and of course this crazy man goes and hugs the most closed-off of them like an old friend.

Although, the way they talked to each other, and the implications-

"I'm not thinking of this anymore," Ajax mutters, rubbing at his face. "Odysseus, you believe this ain't an illusion yet, my dude?"

He pulls back and stares around at them like he's seeing them for the first time. His face twitches, like he can't decide whether to smile or be devastated, and quietly says, "You're here. You all came?"

The van bursts out in noise as they all trip over their sorrowful reassurances and apologies, almost shouting. Odysseus trembles. Blood drips to the floor.

Achilles steps forward and Menelaus feels the same alarm of a disaster incoming from earlier; he and Odysseus had never quite gotten over their irritation at dragging each other into the Troy mission and argued plenty during- he'd even heard word that they'd let a target escape once because they'd got into a fistfight.

But Achilles just gives Athena a wary look and a wide berth, and then pulls Odysseus into his arms. Menelaus suddenly remembers who'd been the first to run to Achilles and hold him when he'd sunk to the floor at Patroclus' diagnosis.

"We're here," He murmurs. "We came late, but we came. You're out."

"I'm out," Odysseus repeats, letting his tense posture drop as he leans into the embrace. "I'm out."

"You are," Athena confirms clinically, then- surprise on surprises, she kneels down to pull him closer as well.

Menelaus smiles, then climbs back to the front of the vehicle, satisfying himself with the flickering relief that slowly takes over Odysseus' expression. Gives his friend the privacy he can when he starts to have the breakdown delayed seven months, turns the keys to start the engine.

It's still a long journey to get Odysseus back to Penelope, then back to the Ithaka headquarters. But they have him now, and they'll get him back.

Menelaus, and the rest of them, will have to content themselves with that. That at least, the most they can do now, is bring him home.

He taps on his earpiece, and it crackles to life. "We have him," He tells her. "We're bringing him back to you by morning. Rest, please, Penny."

She sobs over the comms and the car drives on.

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: EIGHTH EPISODE

MY IMPRESSIONS

 Preface: This is not an analysis post, and honestly, I don’t want to overanalyse their interactions or everything they said and did—many others are already doing that. My intention with this post is simply to share my thoughts on the episodes, my impressions, and perhaps my conclusions.

Oh man, I don’t want AYS to end. I can't believe it's already over. It’s not fair. I don’t think it is. We should protest.

Yes, this is my second time watching this episode. I’ve been super busy, so I couldn’t watch it again. I’ve survived by watching clips and gifs on Twitter.

Objectively speaking, Jimin and Jungkook are seriously handsome. Gorgeous. Cute. And they look especially adorable without makeup. They look so young too. Jimin looked amazing in that grey sweater.

I’m unsure if Jimin and Jungkook keep track of the charts and that sort of stuff. Based on things they've said in the past, it seems like they’re not too fussed about it, but it’s nice to know that, in one way or another, they do see the results of their work and the fans' support, even months—or in Jimin's case, more than a year—later. When they were in the US, Jungkook also mentioned something about listening to the music charts in Korea, didn’t he? He did the same thing here, and their songs are still on there. They’re really killing it with their solo careers. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said his favourite part of SMFPT2 was the second half, where Jimin came out half-naked, just saying hahaha.

When they arrived at the restaurant where they’d eat, the video looked like it was shot by a paparazzi or something, hahaha. Jimin looked incredible in that video. I don't know how to explain it, but he looked… famous, hahaha.

One of the descriptions we read a lot when AYS was announced was that Jimin and Jungkook would immerse themselves in the local cuisine wherever they visited. That description couldn’t have been more accurate, hahaha. These guys really travelled just to eat, hahaha.

Every time Jimin said he didn’t look good, or that he’s not handsome, or that his face wasn’t right, I just wanted to jump through the screen and give him two slaps to snap him out of it.

That clip of them waving at the camera through the window is… Jimin looked stunning. His messy, blonde hair at that length was perfect.

The "boyfriend shot," okay. Jimin, I need you to answer a few questions to fully understand that part. I understand what you were trying to say, but why did you say that? I don’t know if it’s a thing in Korea, but when you Google "the boyfriend shot," nothing even remotely close to that photo comes up, so it's not a trend or anything like that. So, that was... interesting. Jungkook’s non-reaction and just commenting on the photo itself was... he wasn’t bothered at all.

I think Jungkook loves to eat. He loves food. I think. It’s not something I can confirm, because it’s not entirely clear. But I reckon he loves eating.

It’s so cute when they mimic the silly things the other one does. They’re just too adorable.

That quirky habit Jungkook has of showing off everything he's about to eat. And Jimin too.

I mean, Jungkook, why did you tell Jimin to take off his pants and underwear? That’s a bit much, don’t you think? Hahaha. Jimin’s response to Jungkook, saying, "loud, repetitive noises make Jimin nervous" is hilarious, and we know he’s said it twice when Jungkook was teasing him. But I wonder what context that phrase has for him. Seriously, I’d love to see a copy of his YouTube watch history and search history to know how they find these videos. It’s clear Jungkook knows the context, hahaha.

Someone on Twitter mentioned that Jimin and Jungkook swap roles in their dynamic or relationship. One day, one acts like the hyung and the other like the younger one, and vice versa. Another day, one is the annoying one that the other just smiles at, and vice versa. And another day, one is the silly, cute one, and the other pretends to put up with it grudgingly, but really, they love it. It’s super interesting, especially when you think about the age difference between them and what that means culturally.

Jungkook in the car watching—or better yet, waiting for—Jimin to notice he wasn’t behind him is just too cute. That happy little giggle when Jimin finally noticed and came to get him was adorable. Jimin pretending to be annoyed about it is funny because we all know that man never gets annoyed about anything Jungkook does or says.

Jungkook was right—Jimin really did love the gimbap option he bought, hahaha.

"Jimin is Jungkook's Jungkook." I saw this in a tweet a few days ago, and I remember making a post about it. Reading the comments, I see some of you gave it a slightly different interpretation to what the tweet explained, and what I realised when I read it. What we mean by that, in this context, is that Jimin does the same thing Jungkook does with the other members’ songs—singing them all the time in a funny, but slightly annoying way, hahaha. The members usually just laugh or ignore Jungkook because, well, he’s Jungkook, hahaha. Jimin does something similar, and Jungkook just laughs and looks at Jimin like he’s thinking, “Cute,” because, to Jungkook, everything Jimin does is cute.

The editors syncing the song with the parts Jimin was dancing—or trying to dance—is way too funny, hahaha. Jungkook grabbing more things while they were already paying is so... all of us, I’m sure, hahaha.

I know there are a few theories—let’s call them that—about which card Jimin and Jungkook used, particularly in Sapporo. But something I noticed is that they always made sure to get the receipt, and at least the times I caught it, it was always Jungkook who kept it.

Why did they laugh when the staff member said the jacuzzi in this last place was bigger than the cold tub from the day before? Not just the laugh, but the tone when Jungkook said, “Ahh, from yesterday”—I didn’t get that part. Why that reaction? Even the staff’s little chuckles were interesting. What did we miss?

I think Jimin likes "Standing Next to You." I don’t know, just a gut feeling, hahaha.

The accommodations where Jimin and Jungkook stayed throughout the show were amazing, but the ones in Sapporo were definitely the most beautiful and impressive. The clip of them entering the house without context would be so hard to explain, hahaha. Did they choose the places they stayed in? Or did the staff show them the options before they arrived? Them walking down the stairs backwards... they’re so alike, hahaha. Jungkook, the fact that you two have different ages didn’t matter at all—you’re practically the same person, hahaha.

Oh? The room they were in when Jungkook was unpacking all the snacks he’d bought is different from the one where they slept, so they left their bags in a different room.

Jimin looks stunning in that clip where he asks Jungkook if he was going to get in the jacuzzi, ahahaha. Jimin and Jungkook bickering over silly things is one of my favourite discoveries about their dynamic in the show, haha.

Didn’t Tae say that this second chapter wasn’t about seeing them naked or something like that? Could he explain to me why that’s exactly what this second chapter has been about so far? Not that I’m complaining, hahaha.

Them in the jacuzzi. Jimin and Jungkook have such enviable bodies. They’re slim but muscular, they barely have any fat on them, and they’re delicate yet masculine at the same time. It’s enviable. And I’m not a man. Seeing them in the jacuzzi also reminded me that they are, after all, men, and like most men on earth, they do stupid things for a good laugh.

The way Jungkook looked at Jimin when he picked up the snowball to take into the jacuzzi was so sweet and innocent, and the way Jimin interpreted it as Jungkook saying ‘Are you really gonna throw that at me?’ was hilarious. What’s even funnier is seeing other fans, especially non-Jikookers, using that clip to say, “This is how Jungkook would look at you if he were your boyfriend” or “This is how Jungkook looks at X member because they’re together.” Like, do they not realise that by saying this, they’re acknowledging that Jungkook doesn’t look at Jimin like he’s just a friend or how you’d look at a simple mate? This also applies when they use clips of Jimin looking at Jungkook. The way Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other in that moment is... yeah.

When Jungkook lost rock-paper-scissors to Jimin to see who had to lie in the snow – honestly, men – and took a little extra time warming up in the jacuzzi before facing his punishment, was funny haha, the way he looked at Jimin was like, “Are you really gonna make me do this?” But what’s funnier was how he looked at Jimin when he said, “Come on, baby,” ahahaha. Jungkook was like, “Don’t come at me with cute nicknames,” hahaha.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Jimin’s tattoos, especially the ones on his back? I don’t think I’ve brought that up before.

Seriously though, do they share social media accounts and watch the same videos, memes, etc.? Wasn’t that song Jimin was singing when he was lying on the stairs the same one Jungkook sang on the first day in Sapporo when he was picking which sunglasses to wear?

What Jimin said – that if we see his trip with Jungkook, we’d know what he’s like at home – it’s no surprise, but is he like this WITH Jungkook at home too?

Kookoo-ah. The different ways Jimin says Jungkook’s name is just too cute.

Oh, it looks like the whisky Jimin bought or brought to drink with Jungkook is the same one Jungkook took with him the second time he went on Yoongi’s show. So, either Jimin bought/brought/ordered it because he knew Jungkook liked it, or they’re even similar in their taste for alcohol.

So, when Jimin said “honey,” he wasn’t saying it to Jungkook, he was talking about the whisky, and I guess that’s why Jungkook responded that they looked alike. That said, I choose to believe he was calling Jungkook “honey,” haha. They’re such drama queens, hahaha. Jimin, are you really gonna leave us hanging for a whole year?

Is it just me, or when Jungkook asked Jimin if he’d had his physical exam for the military, did it not sound like a genuine question? Like, he already knew the answer? Does that make sense? Hahaha. The way Jimin responded was funny, and something I noticed is that when Jungkook brought up the military service, Jimin seemed to avoid the topic, which is understandable.

It was nice how they included the staff too. In a way, it was also one of the last times they’d be travelling/working with them for a while. The staff member who suggested they watch the first episode of the show deserves a bonus, hahaha.

Have you guys noticed that when Jimin and Jungkook are sitting together, they tend to lean towards each other? Especially in relaxed seating arrangements, like when they were watching the first episode of the show. It’s not just that they sit really close, but they lean their bodies towards each other, almost like they’re trying to face each other.

Something I’ve always noticed is that Jimin doesn’t like watching himself on screen, except when he’s monitoring performances or music videos, of course. Even then, he’s super critical of himself. But in videos like the one they were watching, he tends to question or criticise his own behaviour, or he’s just embarrassed by himself. I really wish he’d stop being so hard on himself, so critical. Another thing that’s impossible not to notice is that whenever Jimin does this and Jungkook is around, Jungkook reassures him, saying he did well, or that it’s funny or cute, or he just laughs along with him. They really do have a sweet relationship.

Jungkook really didn’t like falling out of the kayak, the way he complained to Jimin about being left behind is hilarious, ahahaha, and Jimin trying to defend himself, hahaha.

They honestly laugh at the silliest things they say or do. I love that about them.

Even though Jimin told Jungkook he could keep watching the episode without him, Jungkook paused it until Jimin came back.

Okay, this conversation was so interesting:

Jungkook: “We were worried a lot while we were filming it. Is this going to be okay? Will they be able to edit this right?”

Crew: “We were also a bit worried.”

Why were Jimin and Jungkook worried? I know that in the first two episodes especially, they kept questioning whether they’d be able to do the show, or whether certain moments would make it in, etc., but why did Jungkook say they were worried about how it would be edited? What did they get up to? Or was Jungkook specifically referring to Jimin being sick the whole time, or part of their trip in the US? Because in that case, it makes sense why they’d wonder how it’d be edited, hahaha.

Jungkook was right when he said that Jimin just had to look at his face to start laughing, and also those times when he said Jimin was happier when he was with him.

I mean, Jimin telling Jungkook how dare he enjoy the scenery and his coffee while he was dying over there, ahahaha. At least he was looking out for him, haha. So, the stone tower was indeed for Jimin, haha!

Yeah, it was really fun. AYS is a blast. I can’t believe it’s over.

Hey, I wonder if the minutes they cut from the third behind-the-scenes were of them sitting at the table having drinks. Their faces looked a bit flushed by the end, haha, I imagine from the whisky. Not them apologising to each other for snoring from the alcohol, and not the editors putting in and describing their snoring sounds—everyone’s just too unserious, haha.

God, Jimin is so cute. His outfit on the last day looked amazing. Jimin tends to wear oversized clothes like Jungkook, but not as much as Jungkook does. And they look so good on him.

Was Jimin tearing up from the cold or because it was their last day?

Jimin went to wake up Jungkook, but why we didn’t get a clip of Jimin waking him up? I mean, did the editors rob us of that too? Incredible.

Wait, didn’t they sleep in the room they entered on the night they arrived? The one with the camera? Jimin just walked past it when he went to wake up Jungkook and remember Jungkook wasn’t in that room when he was unpacking the snacks he’d bought the day before. Oh, they did sleep in the room they walked into when they arrived, the one with the camera. So, Jungkook must have already been awake when Jimin went to look for him, or he was getting dressed in the other room where they left their bags! Okay, that makes sense because in the clip where they were about to sleep, the bags weren’t in that room.

Jimin, I can’t believe they didn’t get in the jacuzzi one last time. Jungkook walking over to Jimin to touch his head and say Jimin doesn’t like it when people do that, but that he can do it, felt a bit unnecessary. I mean, we get it Jungkook, you have privileges with Jimin that others don’t; no need to brag about it. Jimin looked super cute and fluffy at that moment.

I’ve always found it funny how the guys—not just Jimin and Jungkook, but all of them—are incredibly obvious when they’re promoting a product on one of their shows, ahahaha.

On the last day, Jimin looked a bit sad, nostalgic, and down. And that’s totally understandable. Did you notice that on the last day, Jimin wasn’t using his GoPro? Only Jungkook had one on, at least when they arrived at the restaurant for their last meal in Sapporo. Jungkook also seemed a bit livelier, but only to cheer up Jimin. When they sat down to eat, a GoPro appeared filming Jimin, but when he started eating and showing what he was having to that camera, they didn’t show those clips. I wonder what happened.

When the waiter brought the beer that Jungkook ordered, he put another one on the table but then it disappeared—did Jimin send it back? Jungkook realised that if he drank the beer, he wouldn’t be able to drive to the airport and continued to ponder whether he should drink it or not, even after the staff told him not to worry about it, shows... Jungkook wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. And he wanted it to just be the two of them in the car.

Are there no flights from Sapporo or Tokyo to the US? If there are, why did Jungkook decide to fly to Seoul and then the next day to the US? Wasn’t that way more tiring for him and his staff?

Jimin asking Jungkook which piece of sushi he wanted to eat, even when he won rock-paper-scissors to choose what to eat first, says a lot about the kind of person Jimin is. It’s the little things.

They really do have a peculiar and similar sense of humour.

Jungkook genuinely wanted to be the one to take them to the airport. That’s just too sweet. And now what that person said last year makes even more sense—that they saw them in the airport parking lot, I think, together with no staff around, just their cameras, and that a few minutes later their security showed up.

Jungkook really said: “We’ll enlist together, so even in dreams we should be together,” ahahahaha. God, I love the way they talk to each other. Jimin really did look melancholic that last day. Jungkook did his best to cheer him up.

They really loved doing the show; that was more than obvious. And I love that they had those moments of relaxation and fun before their world came to a halt for nearly two years. I love that they did it together, creating all those lovely memories together. That said, I love that they mentioned it. That they said they should do it again. A reboot, as Jungkook said. For Jungkook to say those were the best trips he’s had in his life is incredible and says a lot about what his time with Jimin meant to him. To them. And yes, they ate a lot during the show, hahaha.

Jungkook: “It’s like we were on a trip but not on a trip at the same time. It was all over the place, and that’s what made it fun.”

I don’t know how accurate that translation is, but what Jungkook said really resonates because, at the end of the day, that was “work” for them, and it didn’t feel like it. They felt at home, but not in a literal or material way; they felt comfortable. They were themselves. Yes, some things were planned, but the way they reacted to those or the unexpected things that happened is what made the trip special for them and for us.

“We’re probably enjoying ourselves right now too.” – Jeon Jungkook.

I want to believe that yes, wherever they are, they’re enjoying it together.

God, the way Jungkook looked at Jimin in one of the clips at the end of the episode. The man was enchanted. Do you know what it reminded me of? The Wlive the group did in 2021, the 210219 live, where Jungkook looked at Jimin with so much adoration.

I won’t lie to you, when I saw the last clip of them on the day they were enlisting in the army, my heart stopped for a second. I never expected that. It hit me with such nostalgia and sadness at the same time. It was a cruel reality check after all that happiness.

I loved AYS, and it’s something I’ll always treasure.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry and thank you—I just couldn’t stop writing ajajajajaja.

As I mentioned a few days ago in a post, I'm going to share my thoughts/conclusions on the latest episode of AYS and the show as a whole in a separate post, which you can read here.

[lexithwrites]

some headcanons for the ladies of the fandom, and no this isn't gonna follow canon, they're all a little gay at the least, so cry about it x

dorlene,,my loves, i feel like they met at a gig honestly, marlene is very tomboy/grunge and loves going by herself to bars and pubs where some local band is playing and she's a bit awkward on her own but once she has a drink and sees a pretty girl she's a lot more chill and confident

then she meets dorcas and she's fucked, so so fucked

dorcas is my goth queen, long black dress, buckled harness across her chest, sharp black nails, dark makeup and so much jewellery and marlene cant stop staring at her

she didnt think she liked goth chicks that much but FUCK this woman is a goddess, and shes tall,,,marlene is a sucker for taller women

shes so nervous trying to chat her up because dorcas' voice is like velvet, its so soothing and melodic and marlene thinks she might orgasm just from talking to her, and dorcas TOUCHES when she talks to you she's touching her arm and running a hand down her back and telling marlene she looks hot and marlene is so red

but they do exchange numbers and talk for days before marlene finally has the guts to ask her out and dorcas takes her to this restaurant and honestly they spend the entire night together walking around and talking and they go to marlene's and do makeout but nothing further, dorcas is also my demi queen and marlene is probably shaking with nerves lmao

also i feel like when marlene introduces her to the group they're all starstruck by dorcas too, dorcas is like the hottest woman they've all seen and dont know how marlene's nerdy ass pulled her but are so proud and happy

plus dorcas is the sweetest most gentle woman, she's so caring and attentive and pays so much attention to what someones saying to her, she remembers everything

also her and lily? besties, they're both into the same shows and they're both book lovers and talk for ages about fanfiction hehe

speaking of, my girl lily, she's basically walked out of the 70's and i love her for it

all flares and tie dye shirts, long, bright red hair and crazy bright makeup, her favourite colour is yellow and she loves flowers and summer and UGH okay

she loves 70's rock too, i feel like she kinda hides it a little but her and sirius bond over it very quickly

her entire apartment is very boho and there's lots of incense and candles and yes, shes a stoner, shes cool

very bisexual but basically only wants to date women as her experience with men (past a fling with james when they were teenagers) has been bad so she goes on a lot of dates with women to try something new and they didnt really work out past a few dates but she's hopeful

then one night she's getting drunk and a lil high with mary and she realises how pretty mary is, how soft her skin is, how fluffy her hair looks and suddenly they're really close and woah her lips are so plump and taste like strawberry wtf

i feel like her and mary hooked up once and got so nervous that they ruined their friendship that they didnt talk for a week until remus begged them too because he hates his two closest friends not speaking

when they do talk mary tells lily that she's had the biggest crush on her for so long but she didnt know how to say anything because lily had dated other people in that time and lily just feels her heart sore because oh,,,oh

mary is the sweetest girl, okay, she's precious and honestly its because of trauma and just her resilience to it thats kept her so loving and sweet, she deserves a fiery girlfriend like lily

mary has a big family and i'll stand by that, she has like four brothers and three sisters and she's the third eldest so she's taken care of them a lot too

she loves taking lily to her families home and introducing them to her girlfriend and honestly? they adore lily

she's cool and feisty and funny and she clearly makes mary very happy, but her older sisters do have a protective talk with her but they love her, they know she wouldn't hurt her

i feel like mary is a theatre girl too, she loves acting and directing and learning about sound and costume design, she's defo in the universty theatre department and lily is always coming in with a coffee and some lunch incase she forgets to eat, plus it makes mary blush when lily comes in because everyone stares at her

also in the theatre department is none other than xenophilius, a shy, whimsy guy who is dating probably the scariest yet coolest woman ever, miss pandora rosier

her and her brother were always into acting growing up and loved being in plays together, so they're defo in the department too

i feel like pandora loves making costumes and does the makeup for shows she isn't in and evan is a big sound design guy, so they're always backstage together as well as onstage

pandora is whismy goth, her and dorcas bonded over that when they first met in freshers, and she always smells of flowers and cigarettes from her brother

she also wears the TALLEST shoes ever because she's short, i love short panda

and xeno is the tallest lankiest mother fucker okay he's like barty height and so skinny, and he has a shock of white hair and heterochromia eyes and fiddles with his fingers a lot and pandora thinks he's adorable

they talk about true crime together and she reads his palm a lot and he does her tarot reading and its a beautiful, soft, loving relationship

but i feel like they're also a lil freaky,,,maybe some knife play here and there who knows, pandora is a wild card

her and dorcas became friends with the other girls through marlene and after that they're all insperable

they go shopping, smoke weed, hang out in the rosier's pool during the summer, its great

and marlene is the only driver so she takes them to the beach and down to brighton for the weekend so they can go to the gay bars together, its just great

i love my ladies, i hope this meal was filling

[nctsworld]

👀

[gingermintpepper]

One of my biggest pet peeves is the assumption that something has to be sad for it to be tragic.

I've always been a big believer of the 'Apollo has an awful love life'/'Apollo is plain unlucky with love' line of thinking but it does bother me that the general reasoning for that statement is given to the concept of 'Apollo is somehow undesireable and thus rejected' (Cassandra/Daphne/Marpessa) or 'his lovers die young and thus their love is unfulfilled' (Cyparissus/Hyacinthus/Coronis). I personally think that's a very unfortunate way of looking at things - not only because it neglects the many perfectly cordial entanglements and affairs Apollo has had, both mortal and divine - but because it presents a very shallow interpretation of the concepts of love and loss and how loss affects people.

Apollo can still grieve lovers that have a long, healthy life. The inherent tragedy of an immortal who knows his lovers and children will die and cannot stop it does not stop being tragic simply because those lovers and children live long, fulfilled lives. The inherent tragedy of loss does not stop being tragic simply because someone knows better than to mourn something that was always going to end.

What is tragic is not that Apollo loves and loses but that loss itself follows him. Apollo does not love with the distance of an immortal, he does not have affairs and then leaves never to listen to their prayers again. He does not have offspring and then abandon them to their trials only to appear when it is time to lead them to their destinies. He raises his young, he protects the mothers of his children, he blesses the households that have his favour and multiplies their flocks that they may never go hungry. He educates his sons, he adorns his daughters and even in wrath he is quick to come to his senses and regret the punishments he doles out.

Apollo loves. And like mortals, there will always be some part of him that wishes to protect the objects of his affections. Apollo, however, is also an emissary of Fate. He knows that the fate of all mortal things is death. He knows that to love a mortal is to accept that eventually he will have to bury them. There is no illusion of forever, there is no fantasy where he fights against the nature of living things and shields his beloveds from death. Apollo loves and because of that love, he also accepts.

And that, while beautiful, is also tragic.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[mewtwo24]

You know idk if it's just me being oblivious af but mxtx sure does enjoy putting her protags through the trolley problem when it comes to her works huh /j

[sysig]

Grump and not so grump (Patreon)

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Rewatching an LP of 9 hours 9 persons 9 doors for the umpteenth time (nor sure if I'll watch the rest of Zero Escape yet) and. God. I truly cannot emphasise enough how much these games shaped my views on philosophy and psychology, or how well fucking implemented they are as narrative driven games. Just thinking alot abt the concept of being able to receive knowledge from alternate timelines in the form of Vibea or dejavu. Like. You got Bad Vibes on someone and ydont know why? That's cause an alternative version of you got severely fucked over by them babieeeee.

Theyre just the pinnacle of multiverse science fiction to me. Only rivaled by Everything Everywhere All At Once. Like frankly I'd you want to understand me on a base level you just gotta be familiar with these two medias and alot of big picture stuff will click into place

Also Seven and Lotus are incredible. Just saying.

[gregmarriage]

this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao

not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs

[nightacquainted]

Fan video for the episode "Arabesque" from the 80s TV show Beauty and the Beast

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[peppermintmochafem]

.

[aberooski]

I love my gx winx au and I love that it's just bits and pieces of me being like oh that's fun and not having any semblance of lore or plot. It's purely contained to the character designs I've drawn for the girls.

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[scarletcomet]

scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die