#that is: feeling less lonely

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

actual photo of me, mirrored:

but fr tho my cervical issues are so fucking annoying. they got better after i started wearing braces and fixing my overbite. at least, the nerve area around my ear doesn't get pinched in a way my whole arm gets numb anymore, that's a major progress finally i can play vidya whole day again but other than that, i can literally show this screenshot when asked "how are you doing?" in regards to my neck pain. literally shows every area on my face that is numb, inflamed, tickles, itches, contracts, and hurts all the time. it's so annoying and what i hate about it the most is how it affects my hearing and probably also contributes to the brain fog in one way or another idk high chances that my arteries got pinched too and my brain literally doesn't get enough oxygen, but i still haven't done tests to confirm that

on top of that, a dumb habit that i should cease for good is sitting on my legs up to 10 hours a day because it got to the point that i fucked them up so bad, i ended up constantly pulling them in my sleep and waking up from the pain worse than when i had my bone tissue drilled through with minimal anesthesia. like holy shit i used to be scared of dentists because i considered pain from getting my teeth drilled through the worst, but nope it's not, it's so fucking far from what a stiff body with a lifestyle like mine can go through

on the brighter side, daily yoga seems to be cancelling two decades of my dumbfuckery pretty quickly. more so, i manage to reach spots that i couldn't reach ever in my life before. this actually really excites me, because it shatters the concept of being "too late" for changing things that one was supposed to take care of earlier. i also have been approaching my whole life from a different, more philosophical perspective for last few years and every hardship i go through seems like a challenge these days.

i don't think i'm truly suffering like i used to anymore, at all. i may seem like i do, every time i rant or vent, because on a surface level it looks the same as before. but to me, a really thick, miserable layer of suffering that used to make me feel like i'm poisoned, imprisoned in this existence, locked in my body, forsaken and ultimately defeated, for long years and decades, is gone. venting doesn't make me feel worse, quite the other way round; it makes me feel like i'm embracing hardships, processing them, rather than avoiding, denying, and running away from them. funny how therapy and psychiatry was taking healing away from me this whole time, heh. instead i found it in places that psych-simps told will ruin me. but that's a story for some other day i guess.

[clarisimart]

be careful what you wish for, Fordsy

commission info here

[sunlit-mess]

A little less lonely

[signanothername]

Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle

This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)

A bit of context under readmore

[dumblr]

It’s strange, I felt less lonely when I didn’t know you.

[revvethasmythh]

I do have to say, despite their backgrounds placing them somewhat at odds with each other narratively, Imogen and Orym's friendship has managed to be so tender and meaningful, more so because of the previous and potential for further conflict. It actually kind of reminds me of the bond between Caleb and Beau sometimes--less sibling-like, perhaps, but there's the sense of willingness tussle with each other and their respective perspectives and also this coming together with real respect and admiration and hope and pride for each other. Imogen is the one Orym gave a bear hug to. Orym thinks she could make a great leader. It's Imogen who comforts Orym when he's at his lowest. It's a very tender and special friendship and I'm glad that we have it

[mistercakerz]

Washed a wave~

[junebugdunes]

garbage rocket give me back the S.S. Dolphin

[mistykaru]

i couldn’t make up my mind for who would be who for this meme but this is what i thought of first therefore

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Critical thinking failure: did not consider all the options.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[kacievvbbbb]

I know this isn’t a particularly common characterization of them (at least not what I’ve seen) but I personally think of the two;

Shanks rarely gets restless, he’s the one more content to just bask in a moment, it may not be in silence but he’s comfortable just doing nothing with his crew. As long as there’s alcohol, a hammock and the people he loves, Shanks is straight.

Contrary to that Mihawk is always itching to do something, entertain himself in some way. If he’s not dueling/training, he’s gardening if it’s not that then he’s cooking or he’s reading and if nothing else will do then he naps. but he’s always trying to occupy his time with something.

I think a lot of people don’t notice it because it’s not the jittery hyperactivity that people associate with it. But Mihawk is restless, endlessly so. He’s in a never ending fight with his boredom but it’s all internal.(except when he decides to make it someone else’s problem ala Don Krieg)

Mihawk’s the type of dude to implode instead of explode so it makes sense that things like restlessness don’t really show themselves in an outwardly physical way. Instead it’s more of an internal pressure and incessant need to stave off boredom. But because of his preference for being alone and the fact that the activities he chooses aren’t ones usually associated with restlessness. It goes unnoticed.

Except by Shanks who’s always going out of his way to make the life of a pretty little birdie a litte more interesting.

[space-bee3s]

The city doesn't look like any other

It is piled on top of itself

Like layers of sediment

I followed a path that felt level enough

Across roads and down alleys

And then, coming to a railing

I look over

And I see the roof of a dizzying cathedral beneath me

That ten minutes earlier I had been staring up at in wonder

This city is a curse on cartographers

Bridges passing over bridges

Streets stacked upon streets upon streets

Parallel worlds, never quite meet

Buildings larger inside than out

Nondescript doors that lead, somehow, to entire, hidden towns

Stairwells that stretch ever up

And ever down

And all of this

I strongly suspect

Moving

And changing

When no one is around

This city sleeps

And it sleeps deeply

Drawing long heavy breaths you might mistake for the growl of traffic

Or the groan of machinery

And when it dreams

The empty streets swell with figments of its dreaming

Like you

Like me

You and me, we peer curiously down back alleys

We scale cathedrals and cling to their spires to crow with the gargoyles

We scratch dark prophecy into bathroom stall walls and answer calls on disconnected payphones

And through our eyes, and our hearts and mouths

The city

Begins to know itself

Through our missed exits, bad calls, and wrong turns

It thoroughly, painstakingly, maps itself out

[maybirdie]

They would be fast friends, and I will not hear otherwise 🥰

[eliounora]

anybody else frustated with this constant need of recognition. like I don't enjoy things because I feel like nobody will notice it or recognise me for it. and as a result I feel like I am mediocre at everything and disappointment is my permanent mode of being

[cheruib]

my girl mutuals in ur 20s i literally love u so much and im so so so proud of us🫶 good luck in whatever it is that ur doing

[repressedqueen]

To any multishipper out there, do you have a tip for not feeling constantly unwanted by everyone here? Or is it just my personal fear of rejection being triggered? should I leave Tumblr for good?