#i hope i meet you in whatever afterlife there may be

[hells-wasabii]

hii, hope you're doing well. May I ask for alastor x reader where reader is way more powerful than alastor? and weird thing for al is that r didn't sell their soul to anybody or make a deal, they just slayed and managed to become very strong overlord just by themselfs. Could be fem or gn reader, please

Thank you, have a nice day/night <33

A/N: I went with a gn reader, wasn't too sure how to incorporate a specific gender into this one, but i hope you enjoy!

Character: Alastor

Type: Headcanons (Alastor x stronger reader, General)

Now, this was certainly interesting! It seemed to Alastor that history really did have a way of repeating itself! Just like himself, a new soul had arrived in hell and stirred up quite the commotion! And during his seven-year absence no less! You were one powerful demon, quickly rising in the ranks of the overlords and eventually even making your way to Pentagram City. Only where Alastor had stagnated in power by himself, you kept rising. You were stronger? Than him? Now he really was interested.

But what intrigued the radio demon the most was the source of your power. Where did it come from? He had heard the rumors that you had no souls, but that just didn't make any sense to him. Not in the slightest.

Souls equal power, plain and simple, whether it means obtaining the souls of others or selling your own. but you had done neither. quite the anomaly you were. He just knew that he had to meet you!

The moment that he even stepped into the same room as you, the radio demon was filled with a sense of dread. He could feel the power radiating off of you. Alarm bells rang in his mind, he knew you were a danger. But this also meant that he knew exactly who you were when he saw you. The overlord with no souls, power with no strings attached. You certainly did not disappoint, that was for sure.

Now, Alastor was not a demon to form alliances, but one with you would he certainly wouldn't mind making an exception for. Whatever he could do to get close to you. He'd sniff out any possible opening and poof, suddenly the radio demon was ingrained in your afterlife.

He would be looking for any opportunity to worm his way in, trying to find out why exactly you were so strong. Trying to get you to make a deal. It didn't matter to him if he had to start small, as long as he could get in it was a start.

He knew one thing for sure. You were exactly what he had been looking for. He had to add you to his collection. And he would do anything to have you.

[cherubfae]

Hello! I love your writing, it's so cute! Here's an Idea bouncing around in my head: Reader is a shy and easily flustered individual who's developed a crush on Alastor. However they try to keep their distance as they know he's Aro/Ace and doesn't want to overstep boundaries. They go to Lucifer a (somewhat) expert on romance and feelings of longing to vent, also developing a crush on Lucifer- (Reader is a hopeless romantic lol)

Anyway, hope you have a nice day and remember to drink water!

|| The Price of Love || Alastor x Reader x Lucifer

tags: gn!sinner!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, love triangle, miscommunication, blood/injuries, mild nudity mention, divorced!Luci, I had to make it a bit comical, I made this too angsty for my own liking now I'm sad 😭, protective bois

This is a one shot. I won't be writing a part two. Thank you! :)

A dreamy sigh echoes from your lips, swirling down the empty hallway. You're sitting on your bed with your knees pulled to your chest with a clawed hand over your heart. Sometimes you miss the thrum of your heartbeat against your fingers. With all of the people occupying Hell, you didn't expect to feel quite this lonely.

You stare down at the pocket watch in your hands. Such a tiny device cost quite a fortune, but it was a true antique having been manufactured in the 1920s. Your intention was to give it to Alastor. Yet, you never did.

Despite everything in your being wanting you to give him the simple gift, a token of your love and your friendship, you just couldn't. You were already internally setting yourself up for a failure that may not even come. You weren't sure Alastor would ever be into someone, let alone you. So, allowing these thoughts to fester you withdrew yourself from him. Forcing smiles when around him and the others, faking laughter; all of which Alastor could see right through. Every time he tried to seek you out, to confront you, you were already engaged with someone else or another task for the hotel.

You were actively allowing your depression to swallow you whole all the whole not realizing that if you had only asked, Alastor's feelings are the same as yours. He just didn't know how to approach you and Rosie thought it best to let you come to him; yet you never did. Even Alastor was finding it a bit hard to keep that smile on his face. Why won't you just approach him? He...He can't do it. Please.

A dreary day in Hell with violent lightning and thunderclouds and acidic rain brought you into the company of Lucifer Morningstar himself. He could smell your sadness from miles away and like clockwork, he instantly pulls you under his wings.

"Now then, sweetling, what brings you to see the Big Boss Man Himself?" Lucifer grins, crossing his leg over his knee nursing an apple martini with an apple slice hanging off the sugar-dusted edge. He serves you whatever drink you may like, alcoholic or non-alcoholic.

"I'm in love with Alastor and I don't know what to do! I'm scared to get too close to him because I'm not even sure he's into me like that and I don't want to get hurt!" You sob, the words come pooling out of your mouth like a waterfall and so do the tears.

Lucifer visibly bristles at the mention of his rival, almost choking on his drink. With a snap of his fingers, his martini glass vanishes with a poof! His full attention now on you. Gently, he takes your hand in his gloved one.

Softly, he begins. "Getting hurt is unfortunately part of the risk of being in love. It lets you know what you feel is or was real. It's not the end of the world, not by a long shot. Everyone who we meet and who we love crosses our paths for a reason. To teach us something, either for a short chapter or they'll be lifelong companions. Even in the afterlife, there are still people worth risking the hurt for." Smiling wobbly, Lucifer embraces you close. "Take a few deep breaths. If this is truly how you feel, talk to him about it. We may be magic down here in Hell but not all of us are mind-readers, darlin'."

For the first time in a long while, you smile too. Embracing him again with a laugh.

Standing to leave, you turn to your friend. "May I see you again?"

Lucifer let out a tiny gasp, a slight pink hue coating his cheeks. "I'd like that a lot!" He jumps up. "I can show you how to paint rubber ducks!"

When you finally return from your outing, you're in a much more visibly happy mood. With eyebrows raised, Alastor watches from the shadows as you whistle a happy little tune and make your way up the stairs and veer to the left towards your bedroom. A familiar scent clings to your own, one that makes his lips curl back in a vicious snarl. Lucifer.

"Now darling, I think it's time that we have a talk--" Alastor materializes from the shadows, fully manifesting into your bedroom. You shriek in surprise.

Immediately, you snap. "Alastor, what the fuck! OUT."

Alastor, who has been turned away from you, spins to face you aghast that you'd speak to him in such a manner as you never have before, only to quickly cover his eyes. You were standing in the privacy of your bedroom, almost entirely naked except for those flimsy bottoms you called your underwear. Alastor swallows thickly at the sight of your bare skin, even when you wrap your blanket around your body. He feels lightheaded.

"My apologies, dearest. Ta-ta!" In a plume of smoke, Alastor fades out of the room. By the time he returns to his radio tower, he's gasping with his palm covering his face which was now nearly as red as his hair. He's ashamed he hadn't shown more decorum and instead witnessed you in such a state. Even when angry with him, you had never looked more alluring.

Lucifer swung by the hotel rather unexpectedly, surprising Charlie with a new plant for her bedroom and crushing Maggie into a huge hug! The place was really coming along, he had to admit. There was a more inviting atmosphere to the hotel now since it was rebuilt. It almost felt cozy.

"Dad, what brings you by?" Charlie smiles, carefully handing the plant over to Vaggie.

Lucifer smiles. "I'm here to pick up a friend for a little coffee date and I figured I'd say hi to my favorite daughter and my favorite soon-to-be daughter-in-law!" He coos, squishing Charlie's cheeks between his gloved hands.

On queue, you're walking down the stairs into the foyer. "Lucifer!" You beam, a large smile crossing your cheeks. His tummy flutters at the sight. The outfit you had on was darling, suiting you to a T.

A crackle of static explodes into the front lobby, the Radio Demon taking form between you and the Morningstars. Alastor's eyes immediately narrowing at the unwelcomed guest, at least in his mind.

Laughing nervously, Charlie wedges herself between her father and friend. The air rippled with electricity as the two stared the other down.

"Okay, you two, calm down. Let's not start anything, ok?" She glances at Vaggie for help who simply shrugs her shoulders; setting Charlie's new plant baby aside. Approaching slowly you stand by Lucifer's side. Placing a hand on the King's shoulder, Alastor nearly explodes with radio feedback. An eerie green glow consuming his form.

Static voice dripping with malice spits out, "You're going out with him." It wasn't a question.

Casting a look over your shoulder, you nod at Alastor. "We're going out for coffee."

The Radio Demon is practically seething with venomous rage--not at you, but at the puny little shortstack of a King who thinks he can meddle with those in his life. "You don't deserve their attention, Morningstar."

Lucifer balks. "You had your chance, pal! You snooze, you lose." Alastor's expression turns to one of confusion.

"What do you mean?" The radio filter is gone from his voice.

Snarling, Lucifer glowers at him. "They were in love with you! And now I'm here to pick up the pieces-- oh, fuck, you didn't tell him did you, sweetling?" His gaze is gentle as he regards you. You're begging for the ground to swallow you up.

Fighting back tears, you fidget on the spot. You're looking everywhere but at the two men who have held your heart captive. There was the love you held for Alastor, pure and genuine. How you got together like pieces of a puzzle. And then there was your love for Lucifer, intimate and loving. He was able to teach a part of you that you'd long forgotten. He helped you smile again.

Alastor shoves Lucifer out of the way, his clawed hands cupping your face. He wipes away those tiny tears with a gentleness no one in the hotel had seen. "Je t'aime tellement, mon cour."

Lucifer, now in his Full Demon form, shoves Alastor aside and grasps your arm. You let out a cry of pain, making the two males jump. With the appearance of his full form his claws had accidentally sunk too deep into your skin. Red leaked from the four deep gashes slashed across your skin, staining the sleeve of your lovely shirt. Your pretty eyes pooling with tears.

Like a true beast, Alastor explodes into his demonic form, arms outstretched to shield you behind him. Lucifer can only fixate on the blood dripping down your arm. Vaggie and Charlie are tugging you away while Husk prepares the First-Aid kit.

Lucifer is only able to stare at the tiny pool of blood you had left behind and the pain in his eyes. And then there was Alastor, ever the gentleman, always the one fighting for your honor, looking damn well ready to devour the entire fucking Earth for you.

And Lucifer felt he deserved whatever he had coming to him. His own words echo in his head: "Getting hurt is unfortunately part of the risk of being in love. It lets you know what you feel is or was real."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

[lxmelle]

Megumi and Yuji are a bit like Geto and Gojo ... If Gojo was more honest (or emotionally-intelligent?) he would’ve been a bit more determined to save Geto, even if he had given up on himself to pursue some crazy ideal at the expense of himself. Maybe even before. But - Geto had already killed his family (parents) and there was no turning back. He had burned all his bridges and barely left any room for Gojo to talk to him, walking away as soon as he felt slighted.

Geto convinced himself he was cast away. Gojo couldn’t find the words to convey what he truly felt. They both felt the weight of responsibility (loosely, to protect: with power / influence) to sit solely on their own shoulders, instead of being shared.

I’m not assigning any blame whatsoever or attributing the situation to either one of them. They likely had very emotionally-isolating upbringings, and the one secure connection they had (between them) was not able to be repaired when it ruptured. They did their absolute best in the years apart to compensate for whatever they lacked, for the sake of a higher good.

If Gojo self-reflected over the years (which he had in abundance) over any similarities with his students, I wonder if he’d be proud (and inspired) by their determination to fight for each other, even if their methods to fight alone mimic his own pursuit and style of strength that practically requires him to fight on his own.

What the students end up doing to protect and preserve each other to defeat Sukuna following his death - by fighting relay-style - may have been something an AU “Gojo-Geto-Nanami as teachers” may have developed so solo fighters can do their thing and tap out for another (or two or three) to join the fighting ring - but this is a “what if” scenario about the best outcome, but jjk isn’t like that, and hindsight is a wonderful thing.

But back to what I wanted to say: it seems like Gojo had changed and recognised what he wished was different.

Love being the most twisted of curses. Geto was his only weakness; maybe his biggest regret.

Following their reunion, Gojo was seen to be more honest than ever with Geto - almost like he was trying to make up for the distance, to close it back up, to reach out like he never did before. Saying embarrassing things he’d never have thought to say. Geto, too, softening in response to Gojo’s admission of trust, admitting he had been suffering all this while.

For Gojo, it was like a confession twice over. Maybe things he wished he had said that Geto should have known; whether or not it would have made a difference. You’re my best friend (I hope we meet again), if you were there I might’ve been satisfied (I need you).

And if you count in the first time they met again (with the pelican arriving at Jujutsu High), Gojo said, “Leaving? Not on my watch.” (Don’t leave.) — but I’m sure this was more out of protection for the kids, lol.

Let me dream a little 😂

How could they go back? What could have been different? At the KFC breakup,… It wasn’t as if Gojo wanted to insult Geto, but young Gojo didn’t know it wasn’t actually about STRENGTH, was it? It never was. Strength was the thing that tore them apart.

And instead of - you know, saying what he actually felt: Why? Don’t leave. You’re my best friend; my one and only (I love you). I need you with me. What can we do?

I wonder if Gojo kept all this in his heart … and when they got to meet again, these words just kept tumbling out. It’s so nice to see him being honest without a persona on.

I can only hope they keep talking and talking in the afterlife, or in a life happier than what they had following their separation.

[puppetwoman17]

Okay, so there’s this Billy Batson post-Injustice fic called A Reason to Fight on AO3, and it’s got me wanting more fics like that.

I mean, there’s so many different ways it could go.

One fic could be where he did die, and we can’t bring him back. The JL are brought back together to take on an otherworldly evil(surprise surprise) and they need the help of the gods to do it. With both conventional and unconventional means, they’re able to be granted passage to Olympus for this one catastrophic emergency(begrudgingly, because the gods sorta hate their guts).

Then they see this one glowing building, separated from the rest. It’s got a lightning bolt on it. Sparks flying around it. Gives off a less imposing vibe. There’s suspicions about what it’s for, but no one feels compelled to ask. Until a leaguer(doesn’t have to be specific, maybe Guy Gardener or Flash or whatevs) gains enough courage to ask what that place is.

The god leading them to Zeus stops dead in their tracks. They don’t speak yet. They turn and look at the leaguer who was dumb enough to ask a grieving god a question like that.

And the god replies: “The Hall of Champions is where every champion goes when they die. They are allowed to spend their afterlife in complete relaxation as the fruits of their labor. They meet others like them and forgo the troubles of their mortal lives.”

The god says that last part bitterly.

The JL immediately knows who’s inside. The building just speaks Marvel. That same stupid league member asks if they can go inside. If they can speak to one of them, no one in particular(everyone knows they’re lying, but the guilt is just too much).

The god laughs. Actually just laughs right there, in front of a bunch of mortals and super powered people who dare to think they can come anywhere near the former Champion of Magic.

The god tells them: “We granted him his wish of being part of a team because we thought it would help him through such trying times. We thought he finally had others who would look after him, something we may not always be able to do. We thought he would finally, after all these years, have something akin to family.

“And just like that, those hopes and dreams were taken away, all because our champion finally saw the light again. If you go so much as a foot closer to him, the gods of Olympus will show you the same mercy you showed your so-called teammate.”

Lol, that’s as far as I’ve gotten.

Another fic could be where he actually didn’t die, like in A Reason to Fight. He comes back to life after recharging just like in A Reason to Fight. But this time, there’s a change.

He doesn’t make himself known. He changes his identity and stays under the league radar. He doesn’t transform into Cap, but he secretly helps the people of Fawcett with his powers because BILLY was chosen, not the avatar itself.

Dunno how to go about the next part. That all depends on the plot, what characters are still alive and still dead. The timeline of when exactly he comes back and how long he stays incognito.

But somehow, someway, the League becomes aware that Marvel, that Billy, is alive. They rush to see him after (however) long. They see him alive and well…

And he’s just disgusted. Heartbroken. Scared. Angry. Tells them to f*ck off and find some other kid’s dreams to destroy. Tells them to never contact him unless it’s for business that requires the Champion’s reputation. Because despite everything, he still takes his job as Champion very seriously. Because he thought he could finally trust these adults, and they turned their backs on him.

He especially hates Superman for the looks of guilt he gives him. Just wants to punch him in the face. Same with Diana. Same with Lantern. Same with Flash and Cy. Maybe not Batman, but even association can hurt.

Again, idk where this one might go, or how the plot is or whatever, but I need more post-Injustice fics on Billy Batson damnit!

[itsnothingofinterest]

Ah what the heck, I may not really be feeling the Epilogue but it's the last chance I'll get for something I used to do a lot so let's try my hand at one last chapter prediction post.

Basic broke prediction: flash-forward into the class' pro hero lives. Katsuki is the No.1 Hero, Deku is no.1 whatever the other thing Hawks proposed was called, he has harry-potter-epilogue-married Uraraka and had a few kids named after characters we know, Shoto visits Dabi's grave because he is dead, besides that though everything is great for no sufficiently explained reason.

(Side note:it is so funny the official translation had Hawks differentiate the new title on the billboard from "Capital H Heroes"...But the official translation is written in caps lock.)

The ending I want because 423 removed all my optimism and made me jaded: Flash even further forward and the Quirk Singularity ends humanity because no one remembered to do anything about that.

...Longshot ending that might be kind of cool: Shigaraki or whoever the latest League member to die is at the start of the chapter meets up with the League in the afterlife to discuss what happened to them. They review if they felt saved, the state of the world, how they think things'll go from here, whatever ghosts talk about when they recently die. I hope they have bad things to say.

And then, idk, they go break into heaven, take over, and name Shigaraki God ruler of creation & destruction who gives get-out-of-hell free cards to all the other villains under him or something. Why not?

Lastly, The ending that'd be pretty funny: It turns out Deku's so inspirational that not only are the civilians not awful anymore because they can't sit back and not support each other, but villainy stops being a thing either. I mean that Deku guy who saved the country is pretty great ain't he? Same with his classmates like Shoji. Wouldn't want to disrupt the peace they fought so hard for when you can just suffer nobly until someone randomly helps you out. Besides a lot of villainy was caused by AFO behind the scenes I guess and he's dead now.

Heroes end up with so much time to kill that they all lose their jobs.

The End.

[httyddragonfox]

Songs in Hazbin Hotel

I've noticed that in Hazbin Hotel, in each episode they have 2 songs (obviously), but of those two, one is a song for drama/plot and the other is a song for fun.

The fun ones tend to be like: simple message, more memorable lyrics, fast paced, the characters are enjoying themselves, has a catchy beat.

The Drama/plot ones tend to be like: hard to describe concept, intense feeling behind the song, song that changes a character in their arc/sets a scene, slow paced, maybe not as memorable lyrics, ballad.

Remember, these songs are styled off of Broadway songs, fun songs are there to describe a character, drama songs describe a scene or part of the story, the character's feeling in that moment.

Let's look at some examples;

Overture: The Opening act so to speak...

Happy day in hell: Drama song, Starts slow moving into a ballad, this song sets the scene and plot of the entire show, how Charlie has hope and optimism despite the terrible landscape, people and circumstances around her.

Hell is Forever: Fun song, Details Adam's character and establishes him as the villain, certified bop with a catchy beat. It could be argued that it establishes the ordeal of the season, but that's in the last 30 seconds, and more importantly, Adam is singing this to have fun and throw his weight around Charlie.

Radio Killed the Video Star: We meet our secondary antagonists and the plot moves forward.

Stayed Gone: Fun song, Made to establish the rivalry between Vox and Alastor, but that was established before hand. This is mainly a song of Alastor and Vox going at each other. It also has a fast pace, and is memorable quippage between the two characters.

It starts with Sorry: Drama song, Slow paced ballad establishing sir Pentious being accepted into the group.

Scrambled eggs: Showcases the other overlords, and hints at things to come down the line (I.e Alastor's scheming and the killable angels)

Respectless: Fun Song, Another Quarreling song with a fast pace, and characters moving to the rhythm, words having a bouncy effect.

Whatever it takes: Establishing Vaggie and Camilla's characters as well as their parallel, you might argue that makes it fun. Of course, the song is slow paced (ballad), and the characters are singing about how the desire to protect the ones they love (intense emotion), as well as their worry about what may come.

Masquerade: An episode covering Angeldust and his tragic life. This one was hard to determine, neither are ballads.

Poison: This song might be considered fun, as I've seen many covers and it's fast paced, good song to dance to. However, it also has Angel being very upset with his situation.

Loser, Baby: This one is slow paced, and has Angel comes to terms with the fact that he's not alone in his situation. However, he also is much happier than the song before.

I've got to say in the end though, I think Poison is the fun song, as it details an already prevalent situation describing Angel's life. Loser, Baby is the song for Drama as it details a main part of Angel's arc going forward (the begininng is like a ballad).

Dad beat Dad: An introduction to Charlie's father and previously mentioned Daddy's issues.

Hell's Greatest Dad: Obviously Fun song, it's a quarreling song, also borrowing elements from "Friend like me," Showcasing Lucifer's power as King and showing the main two men in Charlie's life compete for her attention.

More than anything: Obviously Drama song, very ballad song, this is where Lucifer and Charlie get into the deep seated reasoning behind their actions, showing how much they care about each other, by the end Lucifer decides to support Charlie's endeavors.

Welcome to Heaven: Introducing the other side the afterlife, the home realm of the antagonists, Charlie makes her case, and we learn the truth of Vaggie's origins.

Welcome to Heaven: Fun song, introducing everyone to the atmosphere that is heaven. How is this different from "Happy day in Hell"? It is faster, has a faster pace, and you can tell the voice of Saint Peter, Emily and Sera are enjoying themselves whilst singing, especially Darren.

You Didn't Know: Drama song, mainly slow paced, as truths are revealed and ethics are questioned. Mostly a ballad, except for Adam and Lute with aggressive words and rhythm, Much longer than the other song.

Hello, Rosie: Approach to the innermost cave, smoothing out the final wrinkles before the final act. Bonds are firmly established and a game plan is made.

Out for Love: Fun song, fast paced, establishes what we already know, Vaggie is and should be driven by her love for Charlie, as Camilla was driven by love for her daughters. Vaggie gets her wings back, but they don't play a huge role in the plot and are not discussed in the song.

Ready for this: Drama Song, starts slow and ballad-y, and not as fast paced as "Out for love." Mainly a song to attempt to recruit the army needed to fight the angels, as well as establish her cementing her drive to fight to protect her home. Also hints at Alastor's intentions, but that's negligible.

The Show must go on: The Final act... This one was also hard as both are ballads.

More than Anything reprise: Seeing as this is a reprise of a drama song, it might be drama as well as the characters detailing intense emotions, however the song is quite short and details what we already know.

Finale: This is mirrored to another Drama song, being "Happy day in Hell," but everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, of course it is longer.

In the end, I put "More than anything reprise" as Fun, because it doesn't give us anything except something for shippers. "Finale" I ended up classifying as the drama song because it is setting the final scene, and hinting at what's to come. It also showcases how far everyone has come, which is also plot related.

[sage-nebula]

Just wanna say, I love your tags sm on my post!!! I find it so fun to pull comparisons with both zinnia and volo because they have like. A similar character skeleton. Or whatever that means. They're so different yet their relation to their respective deity definitely feels, as u said, 2 sides of the same coin.

And 100% agree with the last comment- I only started thinking about their similarities when I realized how much of the fandom dislikes zinnia and how much of the fandom likes volo qq

Ahh thank you so much!! I'm so sorry I'm responding to this so late, I am just awful about actually sitting down at a computer lately unless it's for work . . . and my work network doesn't allow me to access tumblr because I'm employed by haters 😔 but I'm glad you appreciated the tags! I remember I was actually a bit hesitant about leaving them because I didn't know if they would be Too Much or not, so I'm glad that wasn't the case, haha.

And yeah, Zinnia and Volo definitely foil each other in many ways. What's really interesting about it as well is that, unlike Volo, Zinnia was actually rebuffed by her deity to her face, when it came to a destiny she was literally raised for, which we know since her flashbacks in her Evolutions episode show that she was training to catch Rayquaza as part of her Lorekeeper destiny since she was a young child:

She could arguably be a little older in that second flashback, but not by much. So Zinnia was raised to be the Lorekeeper since her childhood. Her life's purpose was not only know and be able to pass on the history of her people, but also to be able to mega evolve Rayquaza and, together with it, destroy the meteor that would threaten the planet. She knew that doing this would likely result in her death (indicated at multiple points in her dialogue), but she was so devoted to doing it that she went through it anyway. And she managed part of it; she did manage to summon Rayquaza.

And then . . . Rayquaza rejected her. To her face. In favor of some random (by comparison) kid.

By all accounts, Zinnia had every right to be furious. Her deity has rejected her in favor of some rando when Zinnia devoted her entire life (and was willing to sacrifice her life) to it. But is she furious? Does she take it out on May? No. We know that she's lowkey suicidal (some of her dialogue suggests she's almost hoping she'll die in the effort to stop the meteor so that she can be reunited with the original Aster in the afterlife), but she still takes it in stride because the most important thing is that the meteor is stopped. So she helps the rando as much as she can, and then leaves to figure out what she can do with this life she didn't expect to have.

Then, on the opposite end, there's Volo. Volo, as far as we know, was never raised with any special destiny in mind. To be fair, we really don't know anything about Volo's backstory except that it's heavily implied he's a descendant of the Celestica people. But that's it. We're never told that he had a destiny to fulfill alongside Arceus. Instead, Volo himself decided that he was going to summon and meet Arceus, and Volo himself decided he was going to summon and meet Arceus wholly for his own reasons, and Volo himself never actually came face to face with Arceus, and took that as a rejection, and then tried to murder the random kid Arceus chose over it, as if it's that random kid's fault.

It really is the complete opposite in every way. Zinnia had every reason to believe that Rayquaza would agree to work with her, yet when it refused, she took it in stride and did what she could to help. Volo had no reason to believe that Arceus would want to work with him, and when it refused, he absolutely lost his shit and tried to murder a child. There's a reason why Zinnia got closure by forming a sync pair with Rayquaza in Pokemon Masters and why I'm pretty damn sure Volo is not going to get the same treatment with Arceus, lmao.

And don't get me wrong, I love both characters. Personally, I hope Volo never gets better. Don't get me wrong, if his motivation is supposed to be that he wants to make a world where his people and culture were never lost and where Hisui was never colonized, then I do think that's a sympathetic motivation, and certainly I came away from PLA thinking that Kamado was more despicable than Volo, mostly because the game treated Kamado like a sympathetic, misunderstood man despite his blatant bigotry toward the DP clans. But Volo is at his best when he is absolutely off his shits and I want him to stay that way. Like the fact that he actually tried to murder the player is iconic. Love that energy for him. Keep it coming.

But that doesn't change the fact that, yeah, he is off his shits. And any sympathetic motivations we can give him are headcanon because Game Freak didn't feel the need to elaborate. And more importantly (and to the point of your second paragraph), yeah, it really gets me that people are constantly vilifying Zinnia (including downright calling her a villain) for trying to save two worlds and ultimately bowing out gracefully when her destiny was stolen from her, yet fawn all over Volo or Lusamine. I'm sure the fact that Zinnia is a darker skinned woman (as opposed to the the blonde hair and pale skin of the others) has nothing to do with it. [/heavy sarcasm]

Anyway, this is a very long (and late) reply. I'm a very verbose person, haha. But thanks again, especially for giving me the chance to talk more about this; I appreciate it! 💜

[psychospore]

A Second Chance

This has been sitting in my WIP pile for a while but I've finally finished writing this!

I do hope you enjoy the sequel to In Another Life inspired by @just-someone11 comment

Ok listen i knew it would be angst. I pushed back reading this knowing it would be angst but still :((((((. wonderfully written and if you find the inspiration maybe you could write Loki meeting y/n in the new life? Idk maybe as tom and yn.....oh oh oh or after Loki dies, so more reuniting in the afterlife

If you like more, check out my Masterlist

Summary: An alternate life brings you and Loki together, along with it is the realization that whatever timeline you may be - you are both connected to each other

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, fluff, multiverse stuff,

You've always hated winter - maybe it's the numbing cold that you had to endure every time you have to go out or the fact that everything around you is devoid of color because of the accumulating snow.

This time around, you despised it because you had to walk home into the blizzard under heavy layers of clothing after covering an extra shift for your co-worker who caught the flu in this weather.

You buried your hands inside the fluffy pockets of your coat and hid your face under your scarf to shield you.

Loki and Thor ran through the snow-covered streets of New York chasing after the remaining HYDRA super soldier that stole a rune dagger made from the stinger of a creature from Jotunheim. The same creature in the stories guards the powerful orb. Both are directly connected to each other and have the ability to link the minds of the person's variants, accessing the past, present, and future of one's self in different multiverses. HYDRA was supposed to use the dagger to learn how to unlock this knowledge on Earth, as everything connected to it has been long lost in Asgard. The soldier was almost successful in getting away after fending off Thor and Loki by spreading nerve gas and creating chaos along the way.

────────────────────────

As you were lost in your thoughts, you noticed people around you starting to scramble and run away. You tried assessing the situation and noticed that a super soldier was headed in your direction. You made sure that the people were safe before stepping in and blocking the super soldier. He triggered an unpleasant piece of memory you tried to bury deep in your subconscious.

He ran straight at you, but you were able to use his momentum to throw him straight to the ground and drop an axe kick to his gut before punching him square in the face for good measure, knocking him senseless with a few broken bones.

Before starting your new life as an EMT in New York, you were secretly trained to become an assassin for years by your HYDRA captors after they discovered you were frozen in a lake in Antarctica. You exhibited great fighting skills, exceeding super soldiers even without using the serum, despite lacking any hint of memory prior to being captured. They tried experimenting on you way too many times to discover what you are or where you're from—the best they could come up with was that you were not from Earth.

You were staring down at the unconscious soldier beneath you when your scarf flew away. You scrambled to catch it, but someone got to it first. You looked at the person, and your heart pounded like a battering ram against your chest. You took the scarf and meekly said thanks, but your eyes were locked against each other.

For years, you were their best hit person, until one night you were tasked with dispatching the scientist who's been taking care of you since you arrived at the facility, as she was discovered to be a spy for SHIELD. In her dying breath, she urged you to discover who you truly were and not what HYDRA just wanted you to be. It made you run away to start a new life and be who you are now. Maybe in this new life, you could save lives instead of taking them away.

"Isn't that…" Thor whispered to Loki.

"Y/N?" Loki said as he looked at you intently, etching your very being in his mind.

"Oh no, I'm not y/n. You must have gotten the wrong person."

Nobody had ever called you y/n before but it felt like it always has when Loki says it. It felt like your name was y/n all this time, despite this being your first time hearing it. Was it even the first time?

You got lost in your thoughts when a familiar, searing heat ran through your back. Thor was quick to disarm the now-conscious soldier when he found out he used the rune dagger to stab you. Loki caught you in his arms before you started convulsing.

Memories of all of yourselves flashed before your eyes—what was, what is, and what will be all flashing before you, even your lost memory. You saw the timeline where both you and Loki died after you tried obtaining the orb by Odin's orders. You saw how you fought and defeated the creature in a different universe, with you dying before Loki could get to you and him dying in grief because of your death, encased in permafrost in Jotunheim.

There was also a brighter alternate reality where Loki was a famous actor going by the name of Tom, and there was you—a young scientist working at his grandfather's company. You caught his eye when he came there for a visit, and everything started when he invited you for a cup of coffee. You ended up marrying him and having a daughter together. It was perfect how you welcome him with a kiss every time he comes home from work and your daughter rushes to be carried in her father's arms.

You saw your own past in this universe before you arrived on Earth, Loki was about to confess his love for you when you arrived from one of your battles, and you were about to too, but Odin did not like that, so before you both could, he sent you away to obtain the orb in exchange for his blessing.

In this timeline, Loki thought you knew about his intention and you decided to run away, so he did not pursue you any further, but the reality was that, instead of facing the creature, Laufey found you first and fought against you. Your prowess and resilience made him admire you as a warrior. Instead of killing you, he ended up wiping all of your memory using the orb and banishing you to Midgard, where you were encased in permafrost, which HYDRA discovered.

It felt like forever processing everything all at once, but Loki held you tightly in his arms to protect you from hurting yourself as tears flooded your eyes. You passed out in his arms shortly after. One thing is for sure, in every timeline - you are connected to Loki by the red string of fate.

"What do you intend to do, brother, with the dagger and with her?" Thor asked, handing him the dagger and glancing at you.

Loki took the dagger and used his seidr to vanish it away. "We need to get to the bottom of this. But for now, I need to protect y/n, more than ever. I can't bear to lose her again, brother. We are bringing her to the tower for now; then we must head to Asgard." He spoke as he looked at you. He tucked in the stray hair covering your face behind your ears to take a closer look—you are indeed his y/n, the love of his life.

There are a million things running through his mind right now, but seeing you, he knew he had found a part of him that he tried to lock away when you were gone, a part that loved you and connected both of you against time, space, and all of the multiverse. He swore secretly to himself that he wouldn't lose you again—not in this timeline at least.

[crimsonlyinglilly]

Day 18: came back wrong / unavoidable / muzzle

Day 18 for @augustofwhump.

Saving Elijah - still a working title, after having his memory wiped instead of going to France, Elijah ends up becoming a surgeon in Toronto.

Charlie went to the mortuary for closure, he got something else.

—----

Charlie had come down here for closure, after Zach had returned to the hospital in shock and with a tale he shouldn’t have been surprised by, because of course that that reckless fool would manage to get himself killed. 

At first he had waited expecting Joel to come by and say something; a goodbye, a threat to look after Alex and Luke but nothing.

Nothing but watching Alex’s heartbreak on what should be one of the happiest days of her life and the tiny perfect baby who had no idea what he had lost.

Charlie hadn’t really thought it would happen, that it would just be him. Some part of his mind he had thought they would just keep going on the way it had been, him and Joel both there for Alex, no matter who she chose in the end, and the baby.

Luke.

Joel was meant to be showering the baby in gifts and showing off how much more prepared he was.

Raising a child took work, accidents happened all the time they all knew that, more parents couldn’t hurt, and yet there Joel went proving it by getting blown up before he ever got to meet his-their son.

The mortuary is just as empty of a shouting Joel, he hadn’t thought Joel would just move on without a final word, it didn’t seem like him. 

Yet here he was alone with a bodybag.

He had tried not to look at it too much, he was familiar with death, it came with medicine even before his coma but this was different, Joel was too loud and annoyingly there, to be left in pieces in a bag.

Maybe if he had looked more he would have noticed something different instead of having a near heart attack as the bag jolted suddenly letting out a gasping scream.

After a moment of hesitation he had moved and unzipped the bag to meet wide pain filled dark eyes, but awake, a somehow alive Joel Goran.

“How??” he hadn’t been able to stop himself from asking as Joel sat up, wincing as he could see muscles move though the absence of skin, and then realising Joel could be just as much in the dark as him. 

He had thought for a brief moment this was Joel’s ghost but he had reached out and met bare skin- not skin, most of his body still showed signs of the explosion-  but the shoulders under him were warm and alive somehow, his tightening grip then pulled a noise of pain making him let go.

And watched as Joel toppled off the table, still tangled in the body bag.

“Shit! Joel?”

He would like to say he has grown to be accepting since his coma but this may have been toeing his line, apparently moving past ghosts and onto zombies, but he followed Joel down to crouch in front of him.

Within brain-eating reach, a little voice warned him but he ignored it, because somehow Joel wasn’t dead, Alex didn’t need to be in tears upstairs and their son had a chance of having Joel in his life.

Three parents are better than two, he hadn’t been this fixated on this idea before Joel had died but now he was.

“Give me a minute.” the not-dead groaned, pushing the chance of being a zombie down and Charlie had watched as the man or whatever just breathed as his skin and more slowly regrew.

Because he had been blown up, it just seemed whatever he was didn’t die that way. 

“Phone.” Joel demanded after some time apparently having grown more himself even while still missing much of his skin and hair.

“Are you going to explain how this is happening?” he asked as he realised Joel wasn’t freaking out as much as he should, meaning he knew at least something.

“After I make a phone call, ” Joel replied, adding more before he could argue, “and blood.”

“Blood?” he asked as he stood up, not a zombie then but vampire? Oh he hoped not he wasn’t getting into whether any of the fictional vampires were real, he was fine with just ghosts and the afterlife.

“Bag of it and my phone- from my locker.” Joel explained looking up at him.

Joel had never looked small but curled in the body bag looking up at Charlie, lost, in pain, he looked so young.

He had died, been blown up recklessly saving someone else, trying to do good and almost lost out of the best things in his life, Charlie had left before he let himself think too much more of that.

Joel wouldn’t appreciate the pity.

It took him about twenty minutes; going to get the phone, refusing to think about it when he collected a bag of blood and picking up a pair of scrubs on his way back. The sooner Joel was out of the bodybag the sooner Charlie could stop thinking about how he died.

Then he was hoping Joel had a way of dealing with the fact everyone knew he had been blown up, this was far more complicated than waking up from a coma, this was regenerating from brunt and bloody pieces.

When he returned Joel looked almost normal, right down to his hair, if not for the wide eyes shock which had quickly narrowed as he caught sight of the blood bag, he tossed it to him without another thought and watched as his face changed.

Blood red eyes, dark veins spreading from them and a parted mouth that revealed fangs before he sunk them into the blood bag.

Vampire, Charlie thought as he blinked down, as Joel drained the blood bag within moments, Joel Goran was a vampire, because they were real now.

Joel looked up at him as dark veins faded and dark brown replaced the inhuman red eyes that had been there for a moment, he pulled the empty bag away giving it a glance of distaste as he put down and held his hand up for the phone.

Right this was his new life now, at least he wasn’t alone and Joel seemed to have some idea what was going on.

“So you're a vampire?” he asked, withholding the phone and dropping the scrubs on him. “Get dressed first then you can have the phone.”

“I’d rather not.” Joel told him, making him blink as he noticed a complete shift in his accent.

“Why not?” 

“My skin’s still sensitive and i’m feeling things like a human.”Joel confessed,

“Like a human,” he raised an eyebrow, “How long haven’t you been?”

“That’s the complicated part and the reason I want the phone.” he punctuated the sentence with his hand returning for the phone, normal accent back. “I need to make a call to see if she can fix this.”

“One answer and you get the phone, this isn’t new to you?” he gestured to Joel.

“Still not simple, but no this isn’t new to me,” Joel sighed, taking his hand back to straighten the creases in the body bag covering his waist, barely a trace of New Zealand in words, “A thousand ago my mother cast a spell and my father stabbed me in the heart. Then four years ago after having my memory wiped, for my family’s safety from me, I was found by a grieving witch who somehow made me human and Joel Goran, but today I blew up and woke up remembering everything.”

Charlie stared, looking between the phone in his hand and Joel- or not Joel, and placed the fact Witches were a thing to worry about now somewhere to think about later, after bringing Alex in on this.

“So you're not Joel?” he said, refusing to touch anything else.

“I am,” the vampire snapped, as Charlie watched him twitch, “that's why I want the phone, fix this, go back to what i was.”

“And the thousand years of memories before the last four?” he asked out of pure curiosity.

“Better off gone,” Joel snapped, “I was helping people as Joel.”

“And it got you blown up.” he countered, unsure why he was arguing besides the fact Joel looked far more himself half glaring at him than lost and confused.

“At least I didn’t blow myself up this time.” Joel said bitterly.

“You’ve blown yourself up before?” he repeated incredulously.

“I was trying to kill my older brother, he was trying to kill our niece.” Joel explained “Is it any wonder I'd prefer those memories gone?”

Charlie just looked at him there wasn’t anything to say to that, besides it sounded like something from a gothic novel so maybe vampire fit, even if it didn’t with the Joel he knew.

“And the person you are from them?” he questioned after a pause, only to be met with a wide smile.

“Trust me, I prefer the womanising bastard over the ruthless monster that destroyed everyone around him.” Joel shrugged.

He passed the phone and watched, he could almost see the flicker between centuries old vampire, all stiff sharp movements and Joel, loose limbed and nervous as he looked through the phone for whoever he needed.

Charlie decided then that it wasn’t a hard choice, in the end Joel was Joel, a few changes could be expected after being blown up.

Whether it was centuries of memories or just coming back wrong and trauma, he’d take what he could get.

[shytastemakerthing]

May I request Kokushibo x son reader who meet again in hell? Son reader was killed first and been waiting for Kokushibo to go with him again. Kokushibo comes in the hell and sees his son. He seems heavens light so Kokushibo urges his son to go towards heaven. Angst please. Maybe happy ending with them both Rencarnated and Kokushibo seeing his son in his son Rencarnated form?

The first thing I thought of when I read this was the ending of Castlevania where we see Dracula and Lisa reuniting with one another and this was vaguely inspired by that!

TW: None

A/N: Requests are open!

The last time that he had seen you, you were just a baby, no more than maybe six or seven months old at the time.

It was right after he made the decision to leave in order to grow stronger and to surpass his own brother, leaving his wife and two children behind.

But now, after all that had happened, after finally being defeated and slain, Muzan's own reign ending, Kokushibo had not expected you to be here, in some afterlife void just outside of hell.

But you did not belong there.

No, he could see the light of heaven shining upon his son, and it must have for some time now. It had been over 400 years since he had last seen his family, after all. It was obvious that his wife and children had been gone for some time.

You were waiting for him. All of this time, and he honestly wasn't sure if he should ask why that was.

You held no memory of your father, you were so little when he left. The only information you had was given to you by your mother and your older brother, but it was enough that you understood.

He left for more power, because that was more important than the family that he had.

Even after your own death, you refused to move on. You had to see him. You didn't care how long it would take, so you sat there and waited, and waited...... and waited. Just as you did when you were alive, in hopes that maybe one day, your father would come back.

But he never did.

And now, you both stood in front of each other. Kokushibo could see his own eyes when you stared back at him, you held much of his features, but there were still hints of your mother there as well.

He could also see that you did not want to leave him, but he also knew you did not belong where he is to go.

It was the most emotion that the former upper moon 1 had felt in centuries, trying to ensure that his son would not follow him to hell, to walk to heaven's light where he is supposed to be.

He remembers the cries of his youngest, not wanting to lose his father once more. He had only just returned, and now, they would be separated once more.

But, in the end, Kokushibo was able to get his son close enough to that light, that he was soon taken by it and as soon as he could no longer see his son, was when he turned heel, and walked towards the searing flames.

Though, fate ensured that they would cross paths once more, in another life.

Michikatsu had little to no memory of his past life, but he felt the utmost dread when he thought of it. It was not a good one. One of death and pain.

What woke him from such thoughts was the small fussing that was starting up in his arms, looking down, seeing his little son waking up, those same eyes blinking open, ones that he knew he remembered.

Whatever went wrong in his past life, he was going to make up for it in this one.

[bloody-blades]

I know you are resting up, so please answer these when you feel better

1. Since we know how the others feel about the Horseman, how does the Horseman feel about the others?

2. Are the flowers able to come in different colors, and what are the textures of the flowers (or just the area in general)? Is it like a golden ash?

3. Can the time change in the Land of Roses? Or is it like in the Afterlife, where it’s perpetually stuck as night or day?

4. How do the people of the Land of Roses look? There’s a chance some of them never got a chance to meet Mr. Sob (the train in the begin in of the game), so they may look not as mutilated.

Feeling better and motivated! so time to awnser these questions >:)

(hope that makes sense)

While no there arent any other color of the gold flower , there ARE different types of the gold flower wich mean something different!

A. - The normal gold flower : the most common flower in the Land of Roses , these are found everywhere and usually are seen as a blessing , they usually have a very faint glow to them and have 3-4 flower buds sticking out , they are sturdy and dont break that easly

B. - The blessed gold flower : a rare type of gold flower that has more light energy in it then usual , these can happen when people care more then usual for the gold flower , they have a bright glow to them and usually have multiple gold buds sticking out , the more gold buds = the more blessed it is

C. The tainted gold flower : DESTROY ONCE SEEING ONE. these gold flowers are tainted. they usually have a purple gradient in the middle of them and their " gold " buds are a shade of purple, they also usually can spread spores. to get rid of them its reccomended to drown them in water. these can happen when other then light energy gets mixed into them , for example : trying to infuse a gold flower with ash will result in a tainted gold flower. these flowers will often have mind controling properties or in low cases make people hallucinate.

D. The rose : a flower that doesnt come from the Land of Roses but rather got carried over from the afterlife! these need light and water to grow. They are a new edition to the land so there arent many yet.

3.

kiiinda? Time doesnt change just like in the afterlife but rather it being night all the time its the afternoon / evening all the time! so its constandly at a state where it looks like theres a sunddown. So its basically a perfect mix of light but also darkness ^^

Like this! they are called light people! usually have the look of a humanoid except that they are a yellow shade wich give off a soft glow! their eyes are a brighter shade of yellow with a white iris. sometimes they have a mouth but most of the time they choose not to show it. they are genderless beings wich are made out of light , the more higher-ups they are the brighter they glow ( thats why the horseman glows so bright becouse hes the one who created this land ) however light people do not pick up the light since they are so use to it! they do know that other creatures do pick up the light however so sometimes they do wear cloaks / just something that covers most of the light if its too blinding. they usually wear whatever they want but its usually the shades of black and white and red and purples. they CAN age but it takes a very long while , they are immortal however and can CHOOSE when they want to stop growing. they can have other forms aswell , it just depends how , where , when they are created / born. however now due to the downfall of the afterlife these are not the only life beings here , beings made out of ash also exist here now!

[bluerskiees]

I’m obsessed right now with this idea: old mikey. And i don’t just mean haha he be a grandpa and take care of his grandchild- no i mean, cultural weirdness in elderly people, new habits, appearances, how he treats his life partners even in there old ages. I want everything that comes out of. Your. Head!

… as headcanons

Pretty please ❤️

OLD AGE MIKEY HEADCANONS - ☁️

☆ Won't have kids because he's afraid he may hurt them.

☆ But he does go to orphanages everyday/ whenever he can and play with those kids.

☆ Considers them as his own children. So don't try to play any tricks unless you wanna be 6ft underground. 

☆ That's how he met you. In the orphanage.

☆ You were rocking a child in your arms, consoling him to stop crying. And when he did, you gave him a chocolate for being a good boy. You were laughing and playing with the children not realizing a pair of black orbs were staring at you.

☆ You both started off as friends. This surprised Sanzu as his boss doesn't talk much anymore. 

☆ Mikey felt comfortable in your arms. You were his home. His everything. 

☆ He felt new to this emotion. Its been so long since he was last happy. Since he felt really happy he wanted to smile. But the happiness was accompanied by fear. The immense fear of loosing you.

☆ Once he was clear with his emotions, he asked you to marry him immediately.

☆ That was the start of your relationship with Mikey. Love so pure, nothing seemed to break it .

☆ OldAge! Mikey Doesn't understand most jokes. So u gotta explain to him.

☆ OldAge! Mikey is definitely a "Back in my days....." type of person 

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who considers dorayaki greater than other foods. "You call this tasty? Hmph dorayaki is better"

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who Names those children after draken, emma, Shinchiro, mitsuya, chifuyu, etcc... (All his dead friends)

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who Spoils the kids with gifts.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Loves playing with his kids often. Considers them to be his lucky charm and his secret to happiness along with you.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who still gets shy after you bake him a cake or show him the simplest forms of love

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who buys you flowers to show his never ending love for you.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Hires a whole protection squad when he has to leave you or the kids alone. Without him.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who almost beat a man to death for trying to rob your house when you both were on a date, calms down only after you run ur fingers through his hair.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Considers meeting you as the best thing tgat happened to him in his whole life.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who visits his friends graves on their birthday and talks about how he misses them and about his new family hoping they forgive him for whatever reckless actions he made when he was young, so that they may live happily together in the afterlife.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who used to be the invincible one and still is, gets on his knees for you not caring if people are watching him.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Loves slow dancing with you. In the living room. In the kitchen. In the bedroom In the balcony. In ur backyard. Everywhere.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Looks different now that he's old. Puffy eyes and cheeks, fine lines to show he's ageing, hair turning as white as snow, his strength decreasing but his heart remains filled with love for you.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who would travel the world with you. Showing you new places, taking many pics to remind him of the wonderful memories you both shared.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Who gets suddenly clingy with you refuses to share you with anyone. Almost as if he's the same old mikey Who refused to eat a burger just because it didn't have a flag on it when he was hungry.

☆ OldAge! Mikey Treats you as of you're a fragile glass structure ready to break anytime. Carrying you on his back or his arms <3

[ visualization ]

[there-are-45-chameleons]

cw death, suicide

My friend died today. Or maybe yesterday, I can't be sure. The email from the regional director says "We don’t have much information at this time ... We understand this news may be difficult for many of you."

Okay, that's enough Camus -- I don't plan to accidentally murder anyone. Anyway, she wasn't a particularly close friend. I met her at work just a couple months ago; we texted a fair bit, and met once in person. She was wonderful. I have no idea how she died. Could've been a car crash, or an overdose, or a long-growing cancer she never had reason to tell me about, or any number of other things.

But she was trans, and I can't stop thinking about the possibility that it was suicide. I have no reason whatsoever to think it might be, except that she's trans. I mean, sure, once we talked briefly about dysphoria and getting misgendered, but that's not particularly indicative of anything with another visibly gnc trans person. How awful is it, then, that on whatever partially subconscious level, I imagine suicide as a likelihood solely on the basis of her transness.

Once, long before I was queer in any identificatory sense, I read a statistic about what proportion of trans people have attempted suicide. That number stuck out to me then, and it sticks with me now. I cried about the data then, and about my friend's death now. I don't care to look up an updated statistic; I don't even much care about the accuracy of the original. All I need to know is how damn transphobic this society and culture that I live in, and she lived in, is.

I think my train of thought to thinking she might have died of suicide is perfectly reasonable. And that's fucked up.

I hope it wasn't suicide. Not because I see any particular reason why the act of suicide itself is especially bad, at least not for the person who dies. But rather, because I know what that would mean about her life leading up to that moment. What it would take for her to find death the most pleasant option, on the balance.

Arii, if it was suicide, I don't know whether you're in a better place now. I have no personal investment with any religion or spirituality to do with an afterlife. But I do know that you're not here. Maybe that's what you thought you needed. And I don't think that's something you can be wrong about.

If there is an afterlife, and you can read this writing from it, I want you to know that I passed a stranger in full drag makeup on my way home. It felt like a blessing. For us trans women who are alive today, and especially for those of us who carry your beautiful memory.

For those of you reading this while alive: do not forget. Love every trans woman you meet before it's too late.

[alllostinmythoughts]

I was not a good Witness and that’s a good thing.

When I was in, I thought I was a bad JW for things I could not control. I had poor physical health since I was a teenager and my mental health suffered because of that. I became a publisher as a tween but my hours were lacking because I could not do more than an hour a week and I did not get “return visits” or bible studies because of my severe social anxiety. I did not comment in the meetings and I had to eventually remove my self from the ministry school for the same reason.

All of those things did not make me a bad Witness. Those things were me being human and doing the best I could despite my circumstances. Now that I am out, I can see that I should not have felt ashamed nor have been made to feel guilty about it.

Here, though, are a list of things that did make me bad Jehovah’s Witness and why I think it was a good thing.

• I didn't like giving people the JW version of life after death.

A few years ago the organization updated the tracts they produced. Before they were square and had a trifold design. They had several paragraphs about whatever the front cover said it was about. Typical religious stuff. Life, death, how Jesus can save us. It was something you could give someone on the fly while out and about or to someone who said they didn't have any time to talk. The new ones are a little different. Same info, just a different format. More colorful and eye catching. Folded in half and with less info, only a couple of scriptures and sentences.

As I got older, I became increasingly uncomfortable with giving out the ones about suffering and death. I was especially uncomfortable with the ones about death. A witness will read this and think: “Why would anyone be uncomfortable with telling someone about our hope for the future.” That's why, because it is our hope, your hope. I would always think, what if we gave that tract to someone who had just lost someone. They're in the middle of grieving and you want them to contemplate an entirely new belief in the afterlife. They may already have a really strong belief that brings them comfort but then you tell them that they're wrong, and show them a couple of scriptures why they're wrong. That could devastate someone.

I know this isn't always the case. Since I was a child, I've heard stories of people who lost a loved one and then were visited by witnesses and were comforted by the witnesses version of what happens after we die and what we have to look forward to past that. But it's not like you're gonna hear a person talk about how they in-fact were not comforted, when they're giving their life experience in the Kingdom Hall. You could not look me in the eye and tell me with absolute certainty that it did not ever hurt someone.

Witnesses think that everything they believe is an absolute fact and that everybody would want to hear what they have to share. They cannot even fathom for a second that someone else may actually be happier with their current belief system and their beliefs may make someone upset.

• I didn't believe in paradise.

When you’re a child, you believe everything your parents tell you. With kids outside the organization, they’re told that Santa and the Easter Bunny is real but then kids grow up and they realize for themselves what’s real or not. Not so when it comes to witnesses.

When you’re a kid as a witnesses you’re told about this paradise and it’s nice to believe in. Who doesn’t want to play all day without worrying about anything or being able to pet lions, and tigers, and bears. Oh my.

However, when you grow up you realize the reality of the situation and you just have to be comfortable with all the implications of it.

Witnesses are a doomsday cult. They probably wouldn’t like that descriptor but it’s the truth. I might go into it further in a another post but for now, I’ll just give a brief summery. They believe that in an indeterminate future, Jesus and the angels will kill everybody on earth except Jehovah’s Witnesses and then it will be paradise. So, if you have family, nice neighbors you talk to frequently, and innocent children who aren’t witnesses, they will not make it. Think about it, there are currently close to 8 billion people on earth and there are only 8 million witnesses. Close to 8 billion people will die, just like that. Innocent people, just because they didn't believe the same things as a group of 8 million people.

I think this belief is just awful. When I was in the organization, I think I just tried to ignore it completely and didn’t even think about it to keep myself sane.

• I had political opinions.

Now this one is a doozy and something that I still struggle with, being partially sheltered from most things, especially of the political nature. But you can’t be kept away from everything and my family were not the type of witnesses that didn’t have a TV and us kids were allowed to watch anything age appropriate. (Well, we weren’t allowed to watch a few things but we weren’t extreme. That might be another interesting thing to post about.) So, things filtered through but not enough that I feel that even now, as an adult, I have an completely informed opinion on a lot of different ideas. But, I’m getting there. Hopefully.

I think, however, I was informed enough about a few topics. Like, racism and feminism. These were dirty words in the organization.

You see, on the surface, the organization could look pretty progressive. (Ignoring the blatant homophobia.) On paper they paint a pretty picture. But if you’ve lived through the organization's actual stances of these things, you’d realize that’s not actually true.

When if comes to racial inclusion, you’ll read in the books they publish, that God is impartial and that God does not favor one race, ethnicity or nationality over another. We’re taught not to have a nationalistic view of one’s country because we’re all God’s children on Earth. We’re even suppose to take a stand against drafting in the military, if we’re ever called to that, because we’re supposed to view everyone as a brother under God and how could one go to war against your brother.

But you’re also supposed to be politically neutral. So if you were to agree with the sentiment that there is a problem with police brutality currently in America, then that could get you in trouble. You would be told that you are creating division and that that is a politically held belief and we do not hold political beliefs.

When I was still in the organization, I got into an argument with someone I worked with who is a Jehovah’s Witness. It was around the time of the BLM protests. I tried to be carefully with what I said because like I said, I could get in to trouble. However, I got so frustrated with the things he was saying that eventually, I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore. I straight up asked him if he thought de-segregation was a bad thing, because that decision came from the direct result of the protests lead by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I asked him if he was okay with the fact that black people wouldn’t be working along side him, if segregation was still in effect right now. He kept trying to skirt around the question because obviously he couldn’t say he was okay with segregation but he also couldn’t agree with the protesters either.

It’s so twisted.

• I thought it was okay for other people to worship however they wanted.

I never could wrap my head around the witnesses disdain for how other people worshiped in their faith. For multiple reasons.

First, just like many witnesses who are born in, many other people in other religions were also born in to their faith. It is the only way they now how to worship. They were taught by their parents from a young age. If someone came up to a witness and told them, “By the way, the way you’ve worshiped God since you were a child is wrong and you’re gonna be punished because of it.” They would be offended. Well, no. They would probably take it as a challenge. To prove why they are the only ones in the entire world who worships the correct way. As if there is such a thing.

That’s the other reason why I couldn’t understand. I always thought it was presumptuous for any one person to claim with absolute certainty that their religion was the true religion and therefore, everything they believed and did for that religion was correct. I respect that they have the right to worship however they felt was right. However, even if you believe truly in your heart that you had everything figured out. That you found God and now you know that the way you’re going to live your life from now on out would be the correct way. You still would give other people the courtesy to have the same thing that you have and to recognize that even if you whole-heartedly believe, there would be no way for you to 100% certain. Maybe 99%, but never 100%.

So that’s it. There are many other things that made me bad bad witness but I’m proud of all of them. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe they have the moral high ground in everything they believe in but they don’t.

[readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure]

Hi, I am fascinated by your writing, may I give you an idea? Imagine that the story is after Alexander's death and Alexander and Luda meet again...

Hi! I'm glad you are enjoying my writing. I'm not actually accepting prompts outside of prompt games anymore, but you caught me at a quiet time and I managed to bang this one out today in between doing housework. It's a bit different than this blog's usual MO, as it's not a reader fic, but I hope you like it. 💕

--------

Aleksander blinked rapidly, the sudden dark surprising him after the bright sunlight of only a moment ago. The last thing he remembered was Alina standing above him, wearing the sun as a halo, and now he was suddenly standing in an inky void. What in Ravka had happened to him?

The answer came in a sudden rush as he remembered Alina’s blade piercing his skin. His Sun Summoner had killed him, banishing him to this place of darkness.

How very poetic.

Aleksander looked around and squinted, trying to make shapes out of the shadows. But there was nothing. Only him. Was this really the afterlife? Weren’t there supposed to be Saints greeting him, if only to condemn him to an eternity of torture?

‘Hello?’ he called out, his voice echoing around him.

For a moment, nothing happened, and Aleksander started to think that this was it, that he would be truly alone for the rest of eternity… but then he heard footsteps. He wasn’t alone. The footsteps echoed through the darkness, steadily getting closer, until he could finally see a figure approaching. At first, they were nothing but a blur, but then, slowly, their features got clearer.

If Aleksander hadn’t had centuries of mastering his self-control, he would have gasped. ‘Luda?’ he asked, eyes raking over her. She looked just as she had the last time he saw her, though thankfully without the blood. She still wore the same clothes and still had the same kindness in her eyes.

She placed a gentle hand on the side of his face, and Aleksander couldn’t help but lean into her touch. Luda was the first woman he had ever truly loved, and when he closed his eyes, it was almost like the last few centuries had never happened. He still felt the same warmth, the same safety, the same urge to protect that they both had shared.

He still felt the same love.

‘Aleksander,’ she whispered as she brushed her thumb over one of his scars. ‘What have you become?’

He opened his eyes but didn’t step away. How could he?

Wanting truly did make one weak.

‘What I had to become,’ he said. ‘To help our people.’

Luda smiled sadly. ‘And did you?’

A thousand memories played through Aleksander’s head. Grisha, safe and happy in the Little Palace; those same Grisha dying bloody on the battlefield; Genya, caged and frightened as she awaited execution for someone else’s sins; Alina, bathed in sunlight where there used to be only darkness – his darkness.

‘I don’t know.’

It was an honest answer, but for the sake of his sanity, he had to believe that he had helped, even if only as a catalyst. He had to believe that Alina would continue his plans in her own way, and maybe she would even succeed without being twisted by anger and revenge.

He looked down at Luda. The memory of her death had been a driving force for him for so long… would Alina suffer the same fate after the death of her tracker? If she did, he had least given her something to aid her in her fight. Aleksander Morozova may have died, but the Darkling would always live on in some form or another.

Luda lowered her hand, but Aleksander quickly gripped it in his own. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, words earnest and a little desperate. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.’

Luda squeezed his fingers comfortingly. ‘My death was not your doing. But I forgive you.’

Peace washed over him at her words – the kind he hadn’t felt since the night Alina had kissed him in his rooms. ‘What happens now?’ he asked. Luda was no Saint, but he couldn’t have asked for a better guide to the next stage of his existence… or to the end of it. Whatever happened next, he was ready for it.

Luda smiled softly and used their joined hands to pull him further into the darkness – further into the unknown.

‘Now, we go.’

-------------------------

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48032854

[hongtiddiez]

you can remake a hollywood blockbuster as a bl version with two thai actors. what movie are you making?

ok so. i haven't seen the movie. my husband has literally been begging me to watch it for 8 years straight. i know i am not strong enough. BUT. i know the premise - and i hope you'll forgive me. (also it's not necessarily a blockbuster, i think it kinda flopped in box offices, but whatever.)

i would love to see Thai BL 'What Dreams May Come'

For those that might not know here's a little snippet of the plot from Wikipedia -

While vacationing in Switzerland, pediatrician Chris Nielsen meets artist Annie Collins. They marry and have two children, Ian and Marie. Their idyllic life ends when the children die in a car crash. Four years later, Chris is also killed in a car crash. Unaware that he is dead, and confused that no one will interact with him, Chris lingers on Earth. He sees Annie's attempts to cope with his loss and attempts to communicate with her, despite advice from a presence that this will only cause her more pain. When his attempts indeed cause more sorrow, he decides to move on. Chris awakens in a Heaven that he has created with his imagination; his surroundings are a mountainous landscape that resembles a painting created by his wife, and is similar to a place where the two desired to spend their old age. Chris is accompanied in Heaven by Albert Lewis, his friend and mentor from his medical residency, and Leona, a stewardess whom Chris once admired in the presence of his daughter; he later comes to recognize Leona as his daughter Marie. Meanwhile, Annie is wracked with guilt for the deaths of Chris and their children, and commits suicide. Chris, who is initially relieved that her suffering is over, grows angry when he learns that those who die by suicide go to Hell; this is not the result of a judgment made against them, but rather their own tendency to create nightmare afterlife worlds based on their pain. Chris is adamant that he will rescue Annie from Hell, despite Albert's insistence that no one has ever succeeded in doing so with someone who died by suicide. Aided by a "tracker", Chris and Albert descend into Hell.

I'd honestly be happy with any actors but if I have to choose.. Hmm. God, I know Tul isn't acting anymore but can you imagine MaxTul in this story? There would be no survivors.