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sehunniepotwrites · 4 years

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if we were a movie | j.jh

for @nctsworld’s first writing challenge

SYNOPSIS. For someone who was always the understudy and never the lead, scoring this role was huge for you. All you had to do was pretend to be in love with your best friend. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the biggest deal because, for the past four years, you had been hiding your feelings for Jung Jaehyun.

If this were a movie, he would be your perfect match and the story would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

GENRE. childhood friends to lovers!au, college!au, drama school!au, slow burn, angst, humor, mutual pining, fluff (loosely based on the Filipino rom-com Must Be Love and If We Were a Movie by Hannah Montana) PAIRING. theatre major!Jaehyun x theatre major!reader WORD COUNT. 14+ k

WARNINGS. point of view switches from first (”I”) to second (”you”); self-doubt, insecurities, mutual pining, cursing, lots of references and direct quotes from musicals such as Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, Disney’s Newsies, Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Shrek the Musical, and Wicked (edited but i might’ve missed some mistakes; bare with me!)

There are moments where time flows as normal, where people carry on with their days as they usually do. Then, there are moments people experience in slow-motion, where the world just stops spinning and all the background noise just fades away. These are the moments people look forward to. They’re the breathtaking ones, the ones that capture your heart and soul. After those moments, people are never the same.

The first time I experienced something in slow motion was when I made my stage debut at a small talent show. There was thunderous applause after my performance and while my heart thumped against my chest, the world seemed to come to a stop. That’s when I knew my heart belonged to the stage or rather, the stage belonged to me.

Some of these slo-mo moments are the ones where people fall in love.

My father said that’s how he knew my mother was the one for him: he experienced it all at a slowed rate, everything fading into black and she was the only thing he saw. She was his brightest star and he was the one who reached for the sky to bring her down to Earth.

When I was younger, I always dreamed about my “falling in love” slow-mo moment. I pictured a grandiose event with large actions and sweet words. For it to actually happen at theatre camp during the initial dress rehearsal for Disney’s Beauty and the Beast J.R.— well, that was far from what I hoped for.

And yet, it was just as special as I thought it would be.

I was in my obnoxious fork costume, waiting for my best friend to leave the boy’s dressing room.

Jung Jaehyun had been my best friend since the beginning, otherwise known as my first year at theatre camp. Only ten years old at the time, we both were cast as two of the three blind mice in Shrek the Musical and had been inseparable ever since. Although we attended different middle schools, our friendship grew from our shared vocal and dance lessons as well as our summers at camp. You know how it is; those who end up in the ensemble together stay together.

Going over the dance moves in my head, I didn’t hear my friend’s voice calling my name. He gripped my shoulder, the action surprising me to the point where I lost my balance. I yelped and shut my eyes, expecting to fall onto the hard ground but a hand grabbing onto my wrist prevented my doom. With an arm around my waist, I barely missed the ground.

Slowly opening my eyes, I glanced up to see Jung Jaehyun looking down at me with a worried gaze. He was just a sixteen-year-old boy dressed as a spoon and yet, the world around us came to a halt. Gone were the other frantic theatre kids and the backstage messes. The couple playing Belle and the Beast was no longer sitting across from us, running through their lines. No hustle and bustle of the crew and the props masters.

It was just me dressed as a fork, falling down while my spoon for a best friend caught me in his arms.

“We make quite a pair, don’t we, Forky?” he chuckled lowly, hitting the top of his costume to mine. It was a ridiculous sight— a pair of oversized cutlery in a crowded dressing room.

A burning hot sensation crept its way up to my face as he gently pulled me up. “I guess we do.”

Since then, my life has never been the same. I was in love with my best friend, Jung Jaehyun. I fell for him when the world stopped spinning beneath my feet while his world, unfortunately, kept on turning.

I remember each and every slowed-down moment in life —the good, the bad, and the absolute worst. I never thought a bad slo-mo moment existed, I simply didn’t think it was possible.

I was young and naive then and I was so incredibly wrong.

The moment that hurt me most took place in my senior year of high school. The final callbacks for our community’s production of Disney’s Newsies were in order. The role of Jack Kelly, the headstrong and flirty newsboy, was easily given to the ever-so-charming Jung Jaehyun. He was not only my best friend at the time but he was the it-boy of our small theatre. People were either in love with him or wanted to be him— his talent matched his insane looks. His kind personality made him all the more lovable.

Jaehyun had his two fatal flaws, though. Everyone knew them but still saw him in such a bright light.

One: the boy was extremely clumsy. Jaehyun was often called “magic hands,” constantly ruining his props. It was a running gag in the theatre but the props committee never minded; one smile was all it took for them to forgive him and his cursed hands.

That was his first flaw. And his second? Jaehyun fell in love way too easily and way too fast.

How exactly did I find this out? Well, I was there to witness the scene that lifted his heart to the highest of levels while mine dropped straight to the ground.

I was in the running for the stubbornly intelligent female lead named Katherine Plumber. My opponent was the confident and radiant Son Wendy. She always played the lead in her high school productions but this was a community musical and I was determined to claim that part as my own.

I went first, entering the audition room with a smile with the script gripped tightly in my palm. Performing alongside my best friend was easy. The romantic scene was a piece of cake, not because the lines were a breeze. That wasn’t it at all. It wasn’t because I memorized the Newsies script as a child either. It was because, at that moment, Jung Jaehyun was in love with me as much as I was in love with him. It was a moment I wanted to cherish forever: the way he looked at me was something I had never experienced before. It was so full of emotion and passion, like he had me within his grasp and never wanted to let me go.

“You got this. I believe in you,” he whispered in my ear, squeezing my hand in support. His breath tickled my skin and sent shivers down my spine. The nerves were back, not because of the audition, but because of him.

“You’re just saying that because it’s the scene we’re about to act out, Jae,” I hissed. The sheet music for the duet, Something to Believe In, wrinkled in my free palm.

His warm, comforting hand pressed harder against my own. “No, it’s not that. If you need someone to believe in you, I’m right here. I’ve got you, Forky. Always.”

The director cleared his throat from his seat, his scrutinizing eyes watching us closely as we got into position, just like we rehearsed a thousand times. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I watched as Jaehyun took a deep breath to get into character. He closed his eyes, rolled his broad shoulders back, and then his lids snapped open. His brown-eyed gaze aimed straight at me, with a vulnerable expression taking over his features. He was no longer Jung Jaehyun— he was Jack Kelly, a scared newsboy who was in love with a newspaper company heiress.

The line came pouring out of his mouth with the utmost sincerity, the confusion and affection seeping through his words, “Just standing here tonight, looking at you, I’m scared tomorrow is gonna come and change everything.”

Jaehyun took a step forward towards me, an unsure smile curling on his lips. “If there was a way I could just grab hold of something to make time stop just so I could keep looking at you.”

His body stops right in front of mine, keeping a clear distance but enough to feel the passion radiating off of his words and actions. For once in my young life, my best friend looked at me with a different kind of love in his eyes and I returned it, my genuine feelings seeping through my words.

Biting my lip, I replied coyly, “You snuck up on me, Jack Kelly, I never even saw it coming.”

“For sure?” he stage-whispered. His upstage hand unexpectedly reached up to caress my cheek. The action was unrehearsed, almost catching me off guard. It was a different take on the scene. The characters were supposed to be shy, their thoughts wavering on their own feelings for each other and the impending strike that was to come the day after; yet, Jaehyun played Jack as someone certain of his feelings.

“For sure,” I answered back at the same volume, my hand cupping his own to follow along with his direction. It felt as if he was searching my soul for my thoughts and I could not let him in. The opening bars of the romantic duet echoed throughout the room and after taking a breath, I began to sing. Jaehyun joined in on the second verse and instantly, our voices blended together in a beautiful harmony, one that beat our Newsies karaoke sessions in his car.

The scene ended as quickly as it began. The director hummed before jotting notes down and whispering to his casting assistants for a few seconds. I thought they were the longest seconds of my life. Jaehyun nodded his head to reassure me. “You did well, Forky.”

“Of course I did, it’s me we’re talking about here,” I nudged him back. “I can do no wrong, Jae!”

“Thank you,” the director finally spoke, “you may go. Jaehyun, if you could escort her out and fetch Wendy for me?”

“Of course,” your friend nodded. The feeling of his large hand on my back slowly guided me out of the room. The spot he touched me burned but my cheeks were burning even more. Why was it that every little touch drove me to the brink of insanity?

“You’re so going to land this part,” I remember him saying as he squeezed my waist. My heart was beating erratically against my ribcage, the butterflies in my stomach threatening to fly their way up my throat.

“You think so?”

“Oh definitely,” Jaehyun stressed with a wink.

He said it too soon.

Because the minute he locked gazes with Son Wendy, I just knew he had found his leading lady.

“S-Son Wendy?” he stuttered as he caught sight of the pretty girl in the waiting room. Her hair was styled similarly to a young maiden from the turn of the century, perfectly curled and out of her face.

“Yes?” she smiled back.

It seemed like the words were caught in my best friend’s throat. Sneaking a glance at Jaehyun’s ears, they burned a bright red. “We’re, um, we’re ready for you.”

I watched as Jaehyun nervously offered his arm to her, his eyes never leaving her face. It was like he was her own personal spotlight, the way his eyes shone just for the girl in front of him. The boy was completely enamored and I was instantly in the shadows. The sweet smile that was reserved for me was directed towards another and it sparkled in a way it never did before.

The world around me moved incredibly slow as they passed me by. With everything frozen, all I saw was the gorgeous couple headed to the audition room with hushed exchanges. Jaehyun took his time heading to the private room to spend more time with the girl while Son Wendy steadily made her way into my friend’s fragile heart. My own heart clenched at the sight. It was breaking ever so slowly and I felt every little crack and tear.

Even with the role of the understudy, it was as if I never even had a chance at winning his heart over. If Wendy wasn’t present for one rehearsal, Jaehyun didn’t even see me— his own best friend since our ensemble days. He was way too deep into his “showmance.” It was like I never even existed. It wasn’t long before he called Wendy his girlfriend and then, I was invisible. Cast aside. Ignored.

Needless to say, my heart broke in slow-motion as Jaehyun’s pounded rapidly for a girl that took two parts I desperately ached for: Katherine Plumber and the girl who held Jaehyun’s heart.

But this was just the first time his heart was stolen by his opposite. The first of many.

The first two years of university passed me by like a summer breeze. Constantly busy with general education and introductory drama courses, I was constantly flitting around from building to building. My hands were usually occupied by my laptop, a blazing cup of caffeinated tea, and a worn out script while my mind was filled with jumbled up lines and the dramatic cries of an overwhelmed university student. I probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for Jaehyun and Xiao Dejun, another theatre major we had met during orientation, by my side.

Fast forward to my third year and the three of us were headed to the office of the theatre department. It was posting day for the spring musical— the day the cast list was revealed. This year’s musical spectacular was Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. The play itself was a modern classic and it was also my dream come true.

This day, just like any posting day of the drama department, was nerve-racking. Everyone was anxious to find out what parts they were given and how the fairytale would play out. The part of the brave and kind Ella was always on my list of roles I wanted to fill. As much as I thought I did well on my final callback, I didn’t want to set my hopes too high.

“Are you nervous?” Jaehyun asked while draping an arm over my shoulder. He playfully put all his weight onto his right side to throw me off balance.

“Nervous? Me? Why would I be nervous if I’m like 95% sure I’m going to get the understudy again?” I chuckled sarcastically. Bitterly. It happened every year, so why get my hopes up now?

“Yeah but—”

“No buts, I’ve accepted the title of the Wonderstudy! I think you should too, Jae,” I slapped his shoulder before quickly slipping out of his hold before linking arms with Dejun. My best friend let out a yelp, almost tripping over his own two feet as we continued down the hallway. “I’m mediocre at best.”

The Wonderstudy: it was the nickname the other students in the department gave me because I was always the understudy. I was never the star of the show. It said that I was good but not good enough.

Dejun leaned in and whispered, “You do know that you’re more than just that, right? You’re an actor. A phenomenal one. You weren’t accepted to this drama program by just being mediocre at best.”

I ignored my friend’s comment, eyes zoned in at the other end of the building. The crowd of usual theatre students crowded around the bulletin board, curious heads popping up and down trying to take a peek at the list. Some buzzed with excitement, happy they got a major part while others groaned in disappointment. You were most likely going to be with the later group.

Once the cluster of students caught sight of Jaehyun, they parted like the red sea to let him through. It wasn’t really necessary, though, everyone knew the it-boy of the drama department was cast as the role of the misguided prince, Topher.

The only question was: who was cast as his princess? Who was this year’s Ella?

I fought my way through the bunch with Dejun following behind me as our best friend was showered with congratulations. Jaehyun was all smiles, dimples prominent as he was lavished by the mass. Dejun made it to the list first. His finger dragged along the thin paper until he found his name. He cheered, pumping his fist up in joy. “I got the part I wanted! I’m Jean-Michel!”

Grinning at my friend, I sincerely congratulated him. He got the second lead: the feisty peasant looking for change. Turning again, his eyes grazed the list until Dejun found my name. His smile dropped ever so slightly and that was when I knew: I was beaten once again.

“What part did I get?”

“Gabrielle,” he answered. Ah, the outwardly abrasive but quietly empathetic sister. The second lead, love interest of Jean-Michel. At least I was playing Dejun’s opposite.

I took a step closer, wondering who took the part of the kind princess. Squinting at the small print, my eyes scanned the jumble of words until I saw it.

Ella……………………….Lee Naeun Ella u/s………………….Y/N

I scoffed. Forever the understudy. The Wonderstudy of the Theatre Department indeed.

The first rehearsal, otherwise known as the read-through, took a toll on me. It was usually a two to three hour long session, filled with loud chatter, crazy introductions, and a variety of crazy theatre games to break the ice. When the niceties ended, everyone took their seats in their plastic chairs that were arranged in a huge circle. Bae Joohyun, the head stage manager began reading the stage directions aloud as the table read began. The production’s director, Professor O’Hare, sat alongside Joohyun, jotting down notes and giving out commentary when needed.

Amongst the reading of lines were tiny whispers, the sound of highlighters and pencils marking the paper, and the simultaneous turning of pages. The music director, Professor Lau sat at the piano bench and sight-read the music to give the cast a taste of the songs. Being the first rehearsal, the few who knew of the songs sang along to the accompaniment with joyous smiles, myself and Dejun included.

When Professor Lau played the first romantic duet between the leads, all heads turned to Jaehyun and Naeun who sat side-by-side. With it being their first time together, the performance was far from perfect but it was still something. His lower tone blended nicely with her softer voice and the shy glances they exchanged made their duet quite a sight.

As Jaehyun and Naeun read the last lines for Act One, I noticed the way Jaehyun’s gaze kept flittering back to Naeun’s pretty face. The girl was focused on her lines, head down and hair blocking her gorgeous features, but he still kept looking at her and only her. I could imagine how the scene was playing out in his head, the world slowing down until Naeun was the only one moving. He was infatuated. Twitterpated.

And it hurt. It hurt more than reading the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet or listening to Elphaba’s desperate cry she lets out when she loses Fiyero. Call me dramatic but that was how I felt.

It wasn’t like I tried getting over him. It wasn’t like I tried dating other people before; I had many, many times but my mind always drifted back to my best friend. He was the boy with the richest brown eyes, the perfectly dimpled smile, and the lowest laugh that set my heart aflame. Without even knowing it, Jaehyun had this incredible hold on my broken heart and he would not let me out of his grip.

The green-eyed monster inside me resurfaced and I hated it. I absolutely hated it— why was I so pathetically in love with my best friend?

“Here we go again,” I said before dropping my head onto the table.

“You say that every time and you keep running back to him at the end of the day,” Dejun whispered before looking back down at his script. His hand continued to jet across the page, his highlighter marking his many lines.

Rolling up the script in my hand, I whacked his side. The action caused his hand to jerk the bright marker in another direction, striking a distorted line on his page. “Look what you did, twerp!” he hissed.

“Your fault, Eyebrows!”

“Stop calling me that, you fork!”

“Hey, only I can call her fork!” Jaehyun appeared out of nowhere, plopping alongside me. His voice snapped us out of our little argument, making us realize that the director called for a fifteen.

“That’s only because you’re a dumb spoon,” I stuck my tongue out at him. Jaehyun pretended to reach for it and I blew a raspberry at him to retaliate.

“You two idiots are my favorite cutlery set,” Dejun shook his head with a laugh. He was probably wondering why he stuck around us the majority of the time.

“Let off it, Dejun,” Jaehyun said with the roll of his brown orbs.

“Only if you let me be the knife to your set.”

“As if, dumbass,” I countered with a laugh.

“Okay but you guys, can we stop fighting for a sec and talk about how I got her number?” Jaehyun beamed, throwing his arms over both our shoulders. He pulled us closer to his body and the faint smell of his musky cologne hit my nose. I held back a sigh as it filled my senses. Oh, to be drowned in his scent.

“I got Naeun’s number!” he repeated excitedly, his strong arms shaking us. I held back my abrupt want to push him off. I wasn’t in a celebrating mood. My heart was too broken to care.

“Of course you did, when do you not get a girl’s number?” I answered a bit too bitterly. Raising a brow at him, I added, “Are we supposed to be surprised?”

“Listen,” Jaehyun countered, pulling back from me. “I don’t like that attitude, Forky.”

I scoffed, “Never stopped you from being my friend before, Jae.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer; he was too busy clutching his phone. His pretty brown eyes were fixed on Naeun’s contact page like it was the world’s greatest treasure. His eyes were sparkling in admiration before his gaze turned to the girl across the room. The look my best friend wore on his face was soft, the smile on his lips light. “I think she could be the one.”

Some thought him to be a player but I never thought of him that way. He might have had the looks of a heartbreaker but he had the purest heart of gold. The boy with the dimpled smile, porcelain skin, and cheeks as red as roses was a hopeless romantic to his very core. He was simply looking for his other half.

“I think she could be the one.” His words repeated in my head, his voice pestering me. My heart lurched at them despite hearing them each semester.

Jaehyun said this every year, with every girl. He said this when he crushed on Son Wendy, Kim Chungha, and so many more. His infatuations and crushes ended just as easily as they started. The boy was more than disappointed when the initial spark with each girl ended after a show’s run ended. When the musical closed, so did his feelings for each opposite.

I never got stage fright; I was usually the one who said what was on her mind without a moment’s hesitation. So why was I hesitating to tell him my feelings?

Why was I hesitating to say that the one Jaehyun could be looking for was standing right next to him?

Just another rehearsal at the auditorium.

Just another day watching my best friend fall for his leading lady.

Jaehyun and Naeun were standing in the middle of the stage, the ensemble surrounding them. He stood behind her, his hands gently placed on her waist while she leaned back into his touch. Naeun was wearing a fluffy tulle skirt, a mock-up of her ballgown. Park Sooyoung, the resident fashion major and lead costume designer, pushed her to wear it so she could get used to the estimated size of her dress. Even in a mere tank top and tulle skirt, Lee Naeun looked like a princess.

Professor Kwon, the choreographer of the production, stood at the end with a watchful eye. She counted them off, walking them through the routine while the rest of us practiced our steps off to the sidelines.

Once the two main characters got the hang of their steps, Professor Kwon motioned for Professor Lau to play the songs from the beginning. As much as I tried to focus on my own dance moves, my mind kept wandering back to Jaehyun.

Imagining him under the spotlight in a perfectly tailored suit, a crown sitting on his head, extending his arm out not to Naeun but to me. It was one of those movie moments where the characters and the audience watching fell in love.

If life was like a movie, things would be so much easier.

So lost in my thoughts, I missed a count and stepped on my partner’s foot. Muttering a quiet sorry to him, we continued on with the routine. As my partner swirled me around the dance floor, I drifted back into my daydream.

My utterly impossible daydream where I was the girl Jung Jaehyun was infatuated with. Although this play talked about impossible things happening everyday, I couldn’t imagine this ever happening.

The terrible thing about being a theatre major in university was being a theatre major with midterms. Not only did I have to deal with hours of my back hunched over a desk and scattered study materials, I had to spend half of my days in the school’s theatre rehearsing.

If I was not in class scribbling down last minute notes in notebooks, I was learning dance routines or running lines on and off stage alongside Dejun. The days were long and the nights were even longer. Sometimes, the cast fell asleep in the seats of the auditorium while rehearsals were going on. We were all losing sleep. Some of us were losing our sanity but hey, welcome to the theatre.

My schedule was filled to the brim and I wasn’t even the main character of the show. On top of that, I had to memorize the part of Ella. Not that it was really needed in the first place.

No one ever stepped down from a lead role while I was their backup. It just didn’t happen.

Despite the hectic lives of belonging to the theatre department, the musical was two months into production and everything was running smoothly. With a month and a left until opening night, everyone was off-book and the initial stage blocking was done. The costuming and makeup committee were finishing up their mock-up designs and the student orchestra sounded divine.

I saw more of Dejun than Jaehyun lately, my best friend being preoccupied with his new love interest before, during, and after rehearsals. I was cast aside once again.

Was it something out of the ordinary? No.

Did it still hurt? Yes.

Did I do anything about it? Absolutely not. I didn’t want to ruin his happiness. I rather suffer than see him as nothing but joyous, even if the happiness was temporary. The grin he wore when he was in love was too beautiful to rip away. Jaehyun shined like the light from the sun. I could never bring myself to do it.

It was week eight of rehearsals when I stepped out of my last midterm, my head absolutely empty after reading small text for over an hour. Reaching into my backpack’s front pocket, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly turned it on. My screen was flooded with missed calls and texts from Professor O’Hare, Joohyun, Jaehyun, and Dejun, the notification numbers reaching over a hundred total.

Something must have happened. Talk about a theatre emergency. Knowing our kind, they were probably being overdramatic.

Just as I was about to unlock my phone, a video call went through. It was Dejun. Rolling my eyes, I slid my finger across the screen to answer it. “Jeez, I know you love me but give a girl a break, Eyebrows!”

“God, you’re so conceited sometimes. Why didn’t you answer my calls?!” He shouted, face close to the phone. I winced at the volume, immediately lowering the level as I slipped on my wireless earbuds. “There are important matters to discuss here!”

“What happened this time? Did someone say Macbeth in the theatre again? You know I don’t believe in that shit,” I said sarcastically.

“Oh my god. This is not the time for jokes! Everyone’s been trying to reach you!” Xiaojun yelled once more. “Where are you?!”

“I just got out of my musical history midterm in Maple Hall. Heading to the theatre right now. Why?” I never received an answer; Dejun hung up the call. Giving my phone a weird look, I shoved it in my pocket before continuing on my way. A light push on my back prevented me from going too far.

“Twerp!” Xiao Dejun’s voice came from behind me, yanking me by the straps of my backpack. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. “Oh my god, we’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said in between heavy breaths.

Crossing my arms, I cocked a brow at him. “Why’s that?”

Dejun placed a hand on my shoulder for support. The words came flying out of his mouth, I almost couldn’t catch what he was saying. So much for being a theatre major.

“Speak clearly, Dejun. Enunciate, articulate, exaggerate, remember? We are thespians and thespians do not mumble!”

The exhausted boy ignored my theatricals. “Naeun didn’t land a switch leap right and she rolled her ankle during advanced ballet. She’s going to be out for at least three to four weeks,” my friend replied breathily, his words a lot clearer than before.

The news shocked me to the core, my feet suddenly planted to the ground. It sounded like he said Naeun was out of commission. “What?”

“She’s out for three to four weeks! I mean sucks for her, I wish her a speedy recovery but do you know what this means?”

The lack of response from me urged him to continue, “Sweetheart, she’s out. You’re in!”

Oh shit. I was in.

The part I had always dreamed of was mine. The lead role was finally mine.

I was now Ella and Jung Jaehyun was my Prince Topher.

Having an understudy step up to their role halfway through production was always something to get used to. It was a setback, a minor one, but still a setback. Just as Jaehyun finally settled into his role and built an unshakeable bond with Lee Naeun as his opposite, the accident happened. His potential girlfriend was now out of the show and off her feet in order to push for a speedy recovery.

The lovesick boy couldn’t even be there for her because his rehearsal times increased in order to get his best friend adjusted to your new role. There he was, leaning against the piano while waiting for you to arrive.

Professor Lau sat at the bench, flipping through his sheet music until he found the song he was looking for.

The door slammed open and you stumbled in. “Am I late? I’m sorry, I just heard the news.”

“No, not at all. You’re right on time,” the professor smiled at you. “The situation’s weird, I know but congratulations on getting Ella.”

“Thanks, Professor. That means a lot,” you grinned back.

Dropping your bag by the piano, you swiftly pulled out the script. You glanced at Jaehyun’s opened book for the page number before hastily flipping through the pages. Jaehyun nudged your side. “Hey, Forky.”

“Hey yourself,” you elbowed him back, biting your bottom lip.

“Congrats, bubs. You did it,” he pulled you into a side hug before ruffling your hair with pride. You had finally gotten a part you wanted. It was your time to shine. As your best friend for many years, Jaehyun had been waiting for the day you could show the crowds your full potential.

“Did I really do it or did your girlfriend just get injured? How is she, by the way?”

As much as you tried to play the overdramatic, conceited girl, you never believed in yourself but Jaehyun always did. You deserve the spotlight; your talent was out of this world and the masses were finally granted a chance to see you for what you were— a star.

“You did this. You were made for this part as much as she was,” Jaehyun reassured his best friend with a smile. He tapped your nose. “And she’s not my girlfriend but she’s doing alright. Just in a little bit of pain. I’m going to see her after we finish.”

“Give her some well wishes for me,” you answered. Jaehyun didn’t notice your smile dropping into a small frown.

“You ready to act like you’re in love with me?”

“I was born ready, you doof.” There was something weird in your voice when those words left your lips but Jaehyun didn’t have time to process it.

Professor Lau guided the students through a series of warm-ups before asking, “Shall we start with Do I Love You Because You’re Beautiful today? We’ll do a couple of run-throughs before Jaehyun teaches you the blocking.” His fingers played the beginning notes of the song, the light melody drifting to their ears.

Already off book at this point, Jaehyun closed his eyes and began to sing.

Do I love you because you’re beautiful? Or are you beautiful because I love you?

Am I making believe I see in you A girl too lovely to be really true?

Do I want you because you’re wonderful? Or are you wonderful because I want you?

Are you the sweet invention of a lover’s dream? Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?

When his eyes fluttered open, Jaehyun found himself facing you with a script in hand. Your face wore the softest look as you stared back at him. His breath almost caught in his throat at the gentle smile you wore. You played the part differently from Naeun and it was a refreshing sight to behold. You were playing a confused peasant but your eyes still sparkled with the gleam of a thousand suns.

There was a flush of heat that started from his cheeks and extended to his reddening ears. His heart was doing its best to break out of his ribcage and the star of the show wasn’t sure if his chest could keep it in for very much longer.

When singing with him, Naeun was a pretty princess.

But when he sang with you, the girl in front of him? Jaehyun thought you were absolutely breathtaking.

Two hours later, we were finally free of rehearsals. My first rehearsal as Ella. My throat was a bit parched from all the singing and projecting I was doing but I felt lighter than air. Singing with Jaehyun made me feel lighter than air. I was weightless, nothing could hold me down.

“Forky, you’re really good,” he said to me as we walked to our cars. I tried to fight the sudden heat making its way to my face. Lately, compliments from him were hard to come by.

It was already late when O’Hare and Lau finally let us out, the moon sitting high in the sky. The night breeze crept its way into my thin jacket, causing me to hug myself to retain some warmth. Noticing my struggle with the cold, Jaehyun quickly draped his jacket over my shoulders. I was immediately hit with his familiar scent, it was almost overwhelming. I should be used to this, his action of sharing his clothes with me was nothing new but I was weak. It affected me every single time. I guess I was that head over heels for him.

Head over glass heels, one could even say.

“You’ve seen me in action before and I mean, I was chosen to be the understudy for a reason,” I gave him a shrug.

“Yeah but I’ve never seen you act and sing like that. Just...wow.” Stealing a glance at him, Jaehyun almost looked enamored with me. He was giving me a look that was usually reserved for someone else. I felt my heartbeat pick up in my chest and flutters in my stomach.

“Stop that,” I blushed, pinching his skin through the thin material of his long-sleeved shirt. A satisfying buzz ran through my body. Was he really looking at me like that? I was probably reading too much into it.

“No, but it seemed so real. Like you weren’t pretending.”

“That’s because I wasn’t,” I whispered under my breath as we arrived at our cars.

“Hmm, you say something?” Jaehyun asked, leaning closer to hear me.

Shaking my feelings away, I ignored the dull ache in my chest and acted through the tears I was desperately holding in. I wrinkled my nose at him playfully, secretly pushing the pain down my throat. “You really don’t listen to a word I say, do you, Jae? I said, I’ll see you later.”

“See ya, Forky! Get home safely!”

Scoffing to myself, I realized how much of a great actor I was. I deserved an Oscar or a Tony for the scenes I played out, the ones where I pretended to be okay when I was far from it.

What award do you ask? Best Actress in a Supporting Role— the best friend to Jung Jaehyun but never the love of his life.

Wardrobe fittings for productions were always an exciting day for the whole cast and crew. It was one step closer to putting on a show. Jaehyun was already dressed in one of his many costumes, a white suit with golden trimmings. It fit him for the most part, only tiny adjustments were needed. Members of the wardrobe department quickly pinned his neatly pressed jacket before taking it off his hands. Since he was the main character, Jaehyun was one of the first ones done. He was simply waiting for you to come out in your first dress— the white gown for the ball scene in Act One.

When you finally did all those minutes ago, Jaehyun swore his heart stopped.

Ten minutes ago, Jaehyun saw his best friend walk through the curtains. Your face was bare, hair still in that lazy style you always sported but your clothes. The comfy clothing you usually rehearsed in was gone and replaced by a beautiful ball gown. Despite the pins that scattered throughout the material to fit your form, it still appeared majestic. There you were, standing before him and the rest of the cast, and you were the loveliest you had ever been.

Ten minutes ago, you walked in and his head was reeling. Time slowed down as you tentatively made your way towards him. You did not meet his eyes but Jaehyun was dying to catch your gaze. He never wanted to let you out of his sight. The picture of his best friend in white was something he wanted to treasure and suddenly, the slowness around him stopped. The cast’s cheers and squeals disappeared. There was only you in that beautiful ball gown.

Was this the slow-motion moment you always talked about? The one you always dreamed about experiencing? Jaehyun could see why people thought it to be magic. It was almost like a movie, movie magic if you will.

Another look at you and then Jaehyun was in the future, watching you make her way down the aisle. A thin veil covered your face and he was so tempted to push it away from concealing your dazzling smile. His heart was fighting its way out of his chest, wanting to head down the path straight to you. How he wanted to reach out and touch you, cradle you in his arms.

You were truly an angel in white. A princess. A queen.

The mere sight of you took him to the skies, the one place he was sure you were from. Although Jaehyun would never admit it, he always thought you to be beautiful. Throughout the many years of being best friends, he would find his gaze subconsciously drifting to you. He would rip it away before you would ever notice him doing so, knowing you would tease the hell out of him for it— it was his own little secret tucked away into the corners of his beating heart.

“How do I look?” Your question snapped him out of his daydream and back to reality. Back down to earth.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Oh my god, you stupid spoon! I said, how do I look?”

“Lovely,” he answered sincerely, his brown eyes digging into your own. “You look absolutely lovely.”

Ten minutes ago, you simply murmured a question while Jung Jaehyun came to a realization. The realization that he might’ve fallen for you: his Forky, his best friend.

The loveliest girl he had ever seen.

With Cinderella’s opening night being only a few weeks out, you and Jaehyun decided to fit in extra time together to run lines and songs outside of scheduled rehearsals. That was the plan for every weekend and that particular Saturday was no exception to this plan. When his doorbell rang frantically, Jaehyun groaned loudly before getting up to answer the door. Did you always have to be so obnoxious?

Just as the door swung open, your loud voice boomed into his apartment, “‘Sup, ho! Ready to rehearse the hell out of this show or what?”

He stepped aside to let you in and you immediately made yourself comfortable in his humble abode. Jaehyun almost laughed as he watched you. There was a particular routine you stuck to when visiting his place. First, you would take off your shoes, slip on your personal pair of slippers you left at his house, drop your bag on the kitchen counter, and then open his fridge to raid his food supply.

Precisely as Jaehyun predicted, you waddled to the fridge in your memory-foam duck slippers and stole one of his yakults. He loved how comfortable you were in his home. It was truly a heart-warming sight. The act itself was extremely domestic and he quite liked the domesticity when it was with you. That flash of you in a wedding gown came back to him and he blushed at the thought. The idea of spending a future together was flooding his brain recently and he didn’t know what to do.

You weren’t the one he liked. Naeun was but why were you the only person on his mind? Was it wrong to have you in his mind? Naeun wasn’t his girlfriend— they were still getting to know each other. His time with her decreased over time since you had stepped into the role of Ella. He was very fond of you. He always had been. There was this little piece of his heart that was reserved for you but was it because you were his best friend or was it more?

Jaehyun quickly snapped himself out of it.

“First of all, I’m not a ho,” he said before grabbing a yakult of his own. He poked the straw through the foil a bit too harshly, the liquid splashing over the top. Damn his strength— now half of his drink was gone. “Second, stop slut-shaming me for my dating choices. It’s 2021. If I wanted to be a ho, I could be a ho.”

You rolled your eyes as you took a sip of your drink. “God, I hate you sometimes.”

“You need to stop lying to yourself, I know you’re hopelessly in love with me,” Jaehyun said, pointing his drink towards you. He caught you rolling your eyes at his answer.

“Oh, you’re absolutely right. I am irrevocably in love with you, Jung Jaehyun,” you said sarcastically, dramatically batting your eyelashes his way. Your confession, despite being a sarcastic statement, left his heart racing against time.

“Alexa, play Hopelessly Devoted to You!” you yelled ironically.

“Now playing Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John,” an electronic voice boomed across his living room before the opening notes of the ballad began to play.

“Shit! I forgot you actually had an Echo,” you jumped, not expecting that at all. Jaehyun chuckled at your reaction, loving how easily you scare. He always thought it was one of your cuter traits.

“Alexa, stop!” he called.

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. He dragged his feet to his bedroom, knowing you would follow without a word. “I can’t rehearse today, I have to write this damned analysis paper for a class. It’s due in two days.”

“I’m sorry, is that paper more important than your best friend in the entire world?” you pushed from behind him.

“Yes,” he deadpanned, taking a seat at his desk. Jaehyun’s study area was an absolute mess. His notebooks were scattered around the floor, textbooks opened to random pages, and his laptop opened to a google document.

“That’s a motherfucking lie and you know it.”

“I really can’t rehearse now, Forky,” he sighed.

He glared at you as you theatrically fell onto his bed. The notes spread out on his bed flying to the floor. “Oh, woe is me! Jung Jaehyun cannot give me the time of day to rehearse. What am I to do?”

“Why are you like this?”

“I’m a theatre student, I’m wired to be this obnoxious,” you said with a straight face.

He stared at you through narrowed eyes. “I really hate you right now.”

“I know,” you countered with a flat tone. “But in all seriousness, Jaehyun. I won’t take too much of your time. I just wanted to practice our duets a couple of times and then I’ll be out of your hair. Plus, you look like you need a break.”

One look at you and he was a goner. How could he ever say no to his best friend?

“Ugh, fine.”

“Ha, I knew you would cave.”

“Shut up.”

The next hour with you was spent rehearsing the numbers. During the last run-through, Jaehyun suggested going over the blocking and putting their all in it. To act like it was opening night. You swiftly agreed and he played the music from the top.

Jaehyun led you around his room, spinning you across the floor as you sang. The smile on your face was so lovely, he could not take his eyes off your lips. His eyes fluttered to a close and he imagined you in your full costume, downed in your gown, as dainty as a daisy and as graceful as a bird. The thought of you dressed like a princess drove him crazy.

He never thought of Naeun this way. This was different. You were different but why?

Jaehyun opened his eyes to see you smiling so gracefully at him as the song was coming to an end. Just as planned in the show, your gaze flitted to his lips. You leaned closer and he followed, dipping his head to meet you halfway. His heart was skipping to its own beat as he inched down. Your soft lips brushed against his oh-so-gently as he held you in his arms but before the boy could press back, the door to his room swung open.

You broke away from him, shocked at the sudden arrival to see your other friend and Jaehyun’s roommate, Dejun. “Oops, was I interrupting something?”

“I, uh, I gotta go.” Before you could even stop him, Jaehyun grabbed his wallet and phone off his desk and ran out his room.

Confusion clouded his senses. Why did he feel empty after you pulled away? Why did he want to kiss you so badly? It was just a stage kiss.

Was it not?

Jaehyun’s door slammed shut behind him, leaving me and Dejun in his room. It wasn’t long before we heard the front door close, too. “Well, that was something,” Dejun said after his roommate shuffled out of the apartment.

“Shut up, Xiao Dejun,” I replied, smacking his arm.

My friend lifted his arms up in defense before he gave me a pointed stare. “I’m just saying, the two of you looked really into it. It looked great, to be honest with you. No notes to give here— I’m sure O’Hare and Lau would say the same.”

“It’s just acting,” I tried to shrug it off.

“Stop lying to yourself.”

“I’m not!”

“Bulltshit. I saw the way he looked at you— that’s not acting, twerp,” Dejun declared, his voice dropping. His voice never dipped in tone unless he was serious and in that moment, he was dead serious. My friend sounded like a frustrated tutor deliberately explaining a concept for the fifth time and I was the stubborn student who just didn’t understand.

“Yes, yes it is!”

“No, it’s not because that’s how he always looked at you!”

“Lies!” I yelled accusingly, “We got Liza Minnelli over here!”

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes! Why won’t you confess? Cat got your tongue? Nothing’s really stopped your sharp tongue before,” Dejun groaned at my stubbornness. He slapped a hand onto my shoulder. I tried to shrug him off but his grip was too strong. Maybe it was him trying to help me get a grip. Who knew? I honestly didn’t.

“It’s not like I haven’t tried, you know?” An exasperated answer left my lips. I was tired. So ridiculously tired of dealing with these feelings for my best friend. It had been four years since I fell for him. Four years of trying to see other people, four years of trying to confess, and four long years of failing every time. “I just freeze up like a deer in headlights or like you did when you performed that one monologue sophomore year in voice and movement class. Remember that, Jun?”

I felt his sharp glare burning a hole in my back. “You promised to never talk about that moment, you traitor,” he hissed, his hand squeezing the hell out of my shoulder.

“Okay yeah but you get the point, right?” My nails dug into his skin, leaving little indents onto his hand. He yelped, finally jerking his hand back to examine it. Shaking my head, I added, “Plus, he’s my best friend. I just can’t do it!”

“So, what you’re saying is that you choose friendship over the possibility of him loving you?”

“It’s just...I don’t know—” I started, shifting my body to face him, “—choosing friendship means that I’ll only lose love. But if I chose to confess and put my feelings out there, I could lose him as a potential lover and my best friend. I’m not prepared for that. I don’t think I ever will be.”

And there it was again. The self-doubt hit me, imposter syndrome resurfacing at an all time high, bringing me to the lowest of lows.

The feeling of being a fraud, of being not good enough.

For Jaehyun. For any love interest for that matter. For the role of Ella. For taking my place under the spotlight.

“Dejun?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I—am I good enough?”

“For?”

“I—I don’t know—” I stuttered as my mind was consumed by my own crippling thoughts. I tried to stay strong but the crack in my voice gave me away, “—for anything? Everything?”

“Oh, twerp,” Dejun said in that particular voice and then that was when the floodgates opened. The tears just came pouring down with no sign of stopping. My friend gently pulled me into his comforting arms. They were snug and I felt safe but not as safe as I did in Jaehyun’s hold.

“You, my darling, are definitely good enough. Don’t let your thoughts tell you otherwise.” Although his voice was comforting, it did not help the unhinged thoughts running through my brain.

“Then, why does it always hurt when I don’t get the role of the leading lady? Of his leading lady? I always get so far and then, at the end of the day, I’m just not what they’re looking for. What he’s looking for.” Pining for something so unimaginable was too taxing. Having the lead role in a play and having Jung Jaehyun wear his heart on his sleeve just for me.

“Sometimes, the roles aren’t made for you and that’s okay.”

“But what about this one?”

“This one, twerp, this one is a little different.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because there is music in you; it goes hand in hand with Jaehyun, like a melody to his harmony. You are his Ella and he’s your Topher,” Dejun urged. It was like he was begging me to not give up hope.

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m really not. You just gotta do what the theatre gods tell us to do: just trust the process.”

How could I trust the process when all it did was hurt me by allowing me to have a glimpse of a love and a life that would never be mine?

Opening night finally arrived. Everyone was called to the theatre for a full run through in the afternoon: the final dress rehearsal hours before the doors opened and the curtains were drawn. I had gotten there earlier to soak in the calmness of the empty auditorium before the chaos began.

I heard heavy footsteps come from behind me. Even without turning around, I knew it to be Jaehyun. The boy took a seat next to me on the wooden prop walls that were locked into the ground. If the stage managers and props committee saw us, they would’ve definitely ripped our heads off but they weren’t— it was just us.

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear Ella?”

“Topher,” I answered, playing along with his game. “Lovely to see you here bright at early.”

“I knew you would be here and I wanted to be here with you,” he said, pulling me into a side hug. Jaehyun knew me well but did he know me well enough? “Spill it, Forky. What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes I still doubt myself,” I said a little too fast. A loud sigh followed my reveal. The crippling doubt was always there, haunting me. Let me tell you, it was not the best thing in the world to have during an opening for a new production.

“Oh yeah?” Jaehyun asked, pushing me to continue. I felt the soft brush of his palm against my hand. His fingers grabbed hold of my wrist before fighting their way to tangle with my own fingers. The sensation tickled, taking me away from my thoughts for a fraction of a second. I played with his fingers, watching the way his pinkish hand fit with mine.

I refused to look at him; I was too afraid of breaking down.“Doubting myself, my abilities. Always the understudy, never the star, remember?”

Jaehyun hummed. He rested his chin on my shoulder. “Did something change?”

“Yeah, I finally realized that maybe it wasn’t that I wasn’t right for the part; the part wasn’t right for me,” I laughed a bit dryly. “Does that make any sense?”

“Weirdly, yes,” he replied, his breath blowing against my neck. I tried to ignore the tickling sensation and the way it made me feel.

“But this is different— I feel like I was made to play Ella. Made to play her even though I got the part in this odd, unconventional way,” I turned my head to the side to avoid eye contact. “The girl who sees the good in everything despite the hardships and suffering she went through.”

“Without a doubt, I believe that you belong on stage with me,” Jaehyun answered sincerely, “and I’m glad we have the chance to finally play opposites.”

He squeezed my smaller palm in support. I appreciated the reassurance; the action slightly calmed me down before she took the next step. Possibly the biggest step of my entire life. “There’s something else I realized, too.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Jaehyun asked softly.

Taking a deep breath, I said, “I realized that I could be right for you.”

It took him a minute, a long solid minute before Jaehyun could bring himself to respond to my confession. I wondered what he was thinking at that moment, when those words left my mouth. “Right for me?” came his tentative reply. A quick glimpse at his ears and I saw the burst of red. He was caught off guard, embarrassed.

“Yeah,” I said almost shamefully. Was I ashamed of my feelings? I never was ashamed before. Maybe it was because Jaehyun finally saw me for who I truly was— his highly dramatic best friend that was head over glass heels for him.

“How long— how long have you felt this way?” The red of his ears seeped to his rosy cheeks.

“Ever since we were a dumb pair of utensils,” I replied sincerely, my voice wavering at the truth, “a set of ridiculous tableware.”

There was an awkward chuckle that left his drying lips. I heard him click his tongue, a habit he did when Jaehyun never knew what to say. It seemed like I rendered him speechless. “Since we were sixteen? That long and you didn’t say anything?”

“You’re really asking me that?”

“Yes, I really am!”

“Jaehyun, c’mon. Use your brain! How was I supposed to? You’re my best friend and when you’re not my best friend, you’re out there chasing other girls,” I stopped to lick my drying lips. There was another inkling of silence and I gulped at how tense the atmosphere was. “And I thought maybe once, just once, you would chase after me, too.”

I almost laughed; my greatest desire was finally out in the world and it was greeted by silence.

“But what if I’m wrong for you?”

And there it was. The rejection I was preparing for. Giving him a pained smile that failed to meet my ears, I said, “Then that’s life, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, I can’t make you act like you’re in love with me, can I?” I snapped, my pain taking the best of me. It clouded my brain, blocking off all rational thoughts out of my head. “This isn’t a play or a movie with a script, Jaehyun. This is real fucking life.”

Hurt. I was being overwhelmed with a wave of hurt and anguish. My body was trembling as much as my eyes were. I felt them growing wet and I shut them closed. My hands curled into fists, nails digging into my skin. It stung but not as much as being rejected by the one you loved most. The lead of the movie in your mind.

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun tried to stop me from getting off the stage. I pulled away from him, quickly snatching my belongings before heading to the nearest exit. Turning back around before I left the empty auditorium, I experienced another moment in slow-motion.

There Jaehyun was in all his glory— denim jacket slipping over his broad shoulders, dark brown hair sticking up in all directions and a confused look on his face. He looked like a mess under the spotlight of my mind but nevertheless, he was my mess of a best friend.

He was my mess of a best friend and that was all he was going to be. That fact hurt more than being the forever understudy.

Why couldn’t I fast forward this portion of my life? Why must I suffer this much?

Why couldn’t I escape the role of being second best?

If only my life was a movie, then maybe I wouldn’t be everyone’s second choice. His second choice.

If we were in a movie, Jung Jaehyun would be my best friend and my perfect match. Our story would be the typical friends-to-lovers saga that every girl dreams of. It would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack.

Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

After that confrontation, you and Jaehyun were off and not off the charts— just off. The directors noticed it. The stage hands noticed. The cast noticed it. The final run-through before the curtains opened just finished and it was an absolute disaster because of the way you acted with Jaehyun. Every time he opened up his body to you, the response you gave him was closed off. Cold.

To the rest of the cast and crew, the prince and princess didn’t seem very much in love that day— they didn’t even seem friendly. You and Jaehyun seemed like two strangers trying to work their way across a stage. There was no connection. There was nothing else there.

Now, if only you would let Jaehyun talk to you, maybe something would change but you didn’t. You ran away every chance you could. It was like Cinderella, but you didn’t leave a glass slipper behind. You didn’t leave anything behind.

Less than an hour before showtime and he couldn’t even talk to you. Let alone look at you. He sighed into his hand, palms applying pressure to his eyes. Jaehyun cursed under his breath, forgetting that he had a heavy amount of stage makeup on his face. Looking into the mirror, he saw his makeup was still intact. Thank the theatre gods for the Ben Nye Final Seal Setter. It seemed like that it was the only thing set in stone at that moment.

The door to Jaehyun’s dressing room slammed open and Dejun waltzed in, fully dressed in his costume.“Dude, what was up with you and the twerp during that dress rehearsal? You were so off!”

He received no reply, Jaehyun was too zoned out to hear. Dejun hopped onto the counter of Jaehyun’s dresser. Usually, the action would shock the main lead but Jaehyun was too lost in thought.“Well, you know what they say about a bad dress rehearsal. That means we’ll have a good opening night,” Dejun said, eyeing his friend for his lack of response.

Finally looking away from his reflection, Jaehyun glanced up at Dejun with a look of disbelief. “She likes me?”

His friend jumped off the counter with widened eyes.“Oh my god, did she finally confess? Was that why you were acting weird?”

“Dejun, you knew?” Jaehyun slammed his palms on his dresser. The makeup products on the tabletop shook, leaving the other guy to wince at the show of strength.

“Honestly for being the ace of the theatre department, you sure are dumb,” Dejun replied a bit too casually as he leaned into the mirror to examine his appearance. He clicked his tongue upon realizing his cheeks didn’t have enough color. The stage lights would wash him out. The boy reached for Jaehyun’s pink blush and a clean wedge before applying it onto the apples of his cheeks.

“What should I do?”

“Well, Jaehyun, what do you want to do?” Dejun asked, turning side to side to double-check his reflection.

“I don’t know that’s why I’m asking you!” Jaehyun fired back with vigor, hating how casual his best friend was acting. He was having a before-show crisis and his best friend was calmly stealing his bottle of Ben Nye, spraying his beautifully sculpted face with the setting spray.

“Well, do you like her more than a friend? And what about Naeun?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know! But—”

“But?” His friend asked before hopping onto the countertop. The actor raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows at his friend and Jaehyun had the sudden urge to pluck the beauties they were until Dejun had no eyebrow hair left. When Jaehyun didn’t reply, Dejun repeated his question.

Dropping his head in his hands, Jaehyun hesitantly replied, “There was this moment when I saw her and it was like that thing she always said? The slo-mo thing?”

Dejun’s head perked up. “You saw her in slow motion?”

“Yeah, it was like time stopped. All I saw was her and then…” Jaehyun thought back to seeing you in a wedding dress. He changed his mind; he didn’t want to talk about his feelings. All he wanted to do was make sure opening night ran as smoothly as possible. Grabbing his white suit jacket for the top of Act One, the boy stood up in an attempt to escape his friend’s sudden peak in curiosity. “Never mind, this is ridiculous. I gotta go, Dejun.”

“No, you’re not going anywhere until you actually confront your damn feelings,” Dejun said, shoving his friend back in his chair. “Do you like Naeun?”

There was a pause before he answered truthfully: “Yes.”

“Okay, and are your feelings for Naeun stronger than what you have for your best friend?”

“No,” Jaehyun released another sigh as he leaned back in his chair. A hand reached up to brush through his hair before he remembered that it was gelled back in place. He dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck, not wanting to mess with his looks before places. “I was infatuated with Naeun but with her, god, she’s something else and it took me this long to realize it.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Dejun questioned, squeezing his friend’s shoulders a bit too tightly. Jaehyun thought his friend was testing him and for a good reason. If he was in Dejun’s position, Jaehyun would’ve grilled his friend, too. “How do I know you’re actually in love with her? Yes, you’re my roommate and best friend but she’s my best friend, too. I can’t let you hurt her if all you feel is something temporary. I can’t let you treat her like those other girls.”

“Because she’s The One, Dejun. I’m certain of it,” Jaehyun snapped back. “When I look at her, I see everything I’ve been searching for. It’s like I was blind for the longest time, you know? She was always just Forky to me back when I didn’t know any better. But now I see and all I see is her— her, with all her flaws. The way she hides her insecurities with her dramatic outbursts. How she picks at her cuticles when she’s nervous or how she always steals my food at home. And the way she just fits with me. I can’t explain it.”

Jaehyun didn’t even give his friend a chance to butt in. He was still rambling on with a fond smile, his mouth running a mile. “She’s been there with me since the beginning, Jun. Before I was this prince of the theatre department, she was there. She’s been there since the beginning and even when I was chasing after girls, she was there at the middle of it all, and fuck, I want to go all the way to the end with her.”

Dejun released his hold on his friend and rolled his eyes. The boy made his way to the door of the dressing room before mumbling under his breath, “God, what is with you two and giving out monologues? I swear, when this is all over, you should become playwrights.”

“What?”

“Never mind me, Jaehyun,” Dejun opened the door and gestured for Jaehyun to follow the path— the path down the hall that led to you. “What are you waiting for? Go get her, we have 30 until Joohyun calls for places!”

“Dejun, it’s much more complicated than that.”

“It’s only as complicated as you make it out to be. Just— just go and talk to her, yeah?”

Jaehyun sighed deeply as he reached your dressing room door. He knocked lightly, running through the lines he wanted to say in his head before you shouted a faint “come in.” The door squeaked open to reveal you, his best friend in the whole entire world, touching up your makeup. The best friend that he was inescapably in love with. You watched him through the mirror as he leaned against the frame with crossed arms.

“Can we talk after the show? There’s something I need to tell you— it’s important. I don’t think I—um, I have enough time to tell you now,” Jaehyun asked, stuttering through his words. Gone was the confidence he usually bared. The only thing left in him was a scared little boy, afraid of the problem his words may cause.

The smile he received from you did not reach your ears. “Of course,” you replied curtly before turning away from him. He noted how you were over applying your blush and fidgeting with your costume. You were doing everything in your power to avoid him.

The tugging of your ear, the biting of your lip, the picking of your cuticles. He saw all your bad habits. You were a ball of nerves and the speaker announced it was ten minutes before places.

“Hey, Forky?”

“Yes, Jaehyun?”

“You know that I believe in you, right? Always?”

There was a twitch at the corner of your lips. “I do.”

“Good,” Jaehyun approached you with caution. You watched him from your mirror, never making direct eye contact as he came closer. He dropped a kiss on the crown on your head, relishing in the way his plush lips against your torn bandana and the lace front wig. “Break a leg, my Ella.”

He observed you through your reflection and took in how beautiful you looked in your rags. You made the rags the costume department designed for you look like riches.

“Same goes to you, my prince,” he heard you answer in that soft tone. Again, you had sent him to the skies and the boy was struggling to find his way back down.

When it was time to draw the curtains and light the lights for the first performance of Cinderella, it seemed like everything fell into place. Jaehyun stared at you across the stage, falling for the way the lights illuminated your figure in that white ball gown. The bright glow brought his attention to your bright grin, that beautiful and radiant smile of yours, that shocked him to his core.

Jaehyun locked eyes with you and suddenly, he was drowning. He was drowning in your expressive eyes. He was drowning in your overflowing love.

It was different being across from you in front of a full audience. There was a rush that took over him whenever he saw you and it beat the flurries his heart experienced with his other leading ladies. As you said your lines with that bewitching sparkle in your eye, Jaehyun hated himself for not realizing how much he loved you sooner or how you were never playing pretend.

But that was okay because Jung Jaehyun loved you now. He loved you in the world you made believe on stage, where he was Prince Topher and you were his Ella, and he loved you in reality where you would always be the fork to his spoon.

Opening night went smoothly and the roaring applause I received during my final bow sent me to the moon. The way Jaehyun looked at me across the stage with eyes filled with pride and joy blasted me to places I had never been before. I became high on this feeling of being under the burning spotlights. The feeling of wearing the most intricate costume and the way his hand slid into mine for the last bow before the curtains were drawn; it was something I wanted to treasure for the rest of my life.

But with every high came a low— my low hit me when I ran into Jaehyun’s dressing room. I caught him in an embrace with Naeun who gifted my best friend with a rose. She placed a kiss on his cheek, causing his white ears to flush a deep red that rivaled the flower he held. The girl gave him a quick shove of the shoulder before heading to me.

Her congratulatory statement went in one ear and out the other. I could barely process Naeun handing me a rose of my own before she walked out of the room, the sweet scent of her perfume lingering in her wake. She gave my best friend one more lingering look as she left and it hurt me in so many ways.

“Ready to go?” Jaehyun said, clearing his throat. “Wanna stop by the stage first? Soak in your first opening night as a lead?”

“Why the hell not?” The walk back to the stage was short. It felt different somehow.

“We did it,” I whispered.

“That we did,” he answered back.

We walked onto the stage together and I could still hear the crowds cheering for me, giving me the standing ovation I earned. It was electrifying, the way the sparks ran through my body. It ran from the top of my head to the tips of my fingers and toes.

Glancing around the empty auditorium, I pondered aloud, “But do you know what sucks about it all, Jaehyun?”

“What?”

“There’s nothing worse than the feeling of not being chosen and it still hurts that I wasn’t the first choice,” I replied truthfully, “Not as much as before. But I’m learning to get over it. The casting directors saw potential in me.”

“That’s because you do have the potential to be a star. You’re practically glowing right now.” I felt his eyes trained on me, just like they were the entire time we shared the stage.

Turning abruptly to face him, I said, “You really can’t say that to me, you know?”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it makes my heart beat against my chest and these stupid butterflies come around before I remember that you have never chosen me to be your first choice,” I glared.

“But I do choose you,” Jaehyun pushed, his voice laced with desperation, “That’s what I was trying to tell you before you stormed off on me earlier!”

“Are you really choosing me, Jaehyun? The real me? The me that has been your best friend for years? Or are you choosing the me that shares a stage with you every night? The me that could potentially be your next whirlwind romance?” No matter how desperate he sounded, he couldn’t beat the hopelessness that was dripping from my own voice.

“No, that’s not it at all!” his voice boomed, the sound echoing throughout the empty auditorium.

“Then, what is it, Jung Jaehyun? Because I am tired of being second best and I’m tired of not being chosen,” I almost cried. The anguish was just taking over my body and I couldn’t make it stop. “Yes, I know some parts are not right for me but I can’t help but be hurt. And then you say that you’re choosing me? Of course, I’m going to think of it being because I’m your newest love interest on stage.”

“If you could just listen—”

Unable to stop the words from coming out, I just kept running off at the mouth. Everything I wanted to say to Jaehyun was flying out of my lips at rapid speed; I couldn’t even stop it. “I have seen you in slow motion so many times and I want to just fast forward from those moments. To speed past them so I can move on from the idea of not being yours. I refuse to be a temporary love that you lose interest in. I just want you to pick me, to choose me, and to love me, damn it— is that too fucking much to ask for? To be chosen and loved?”

While I was taking a breath to continue with my rant, Jaehyun cut me off and the words he said rattled the stage, the ground beneath my feet, and my whole entire world.“No, it’s not and you are way fucking more than that, if you just take a moment out of your godforsaken monologue and listen to me! I choose you not because you’re my leading lady but because you’re you. You’ve always been this— this incredible, breathtaking you.”

He took one step closer and I took one step back. “And you’ve the person at my side when no one else is.”

Every single time I would retreat, Jaehyun would follow. The boy was persistent, his brown eyes trained on me. “The one who figured out you loved me first while I was too blind to see it. You’re the fork to my spoon. We’re a set, we go together. And I was too dumb to figure out that at the end of the day, I always think about you and how no one I’ve ever been with compares to you.”

When my back hit the wall, I was trapped. Trapped in between his arms and the way they propped themselves on either side of my face. Trapped in the haze of his brown eyes and how they dug deep into my soul.

“I don’t see you in slow motion— I see you in fast forward. I see you in the future, my future, walking down the aisle in white and I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. All I know is that I choose you. I will always choose you.”

I was trapped by Jung Jaehyun and there was no escape for me. Judging by the way his eyes never let me out of his sight, there was a chance my friend didn’t want to let me go either. He wanted me to stay.

“Jaehyun, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I love you. You’re my beginning, middle, and my end.”

“You love me? Like you’re in love with me?” Jaehyun heard you ask, like the possibility of being loved by him was so impossible. You were searching for any inkling of doubt but he made sure you couldn’t find any because you were the only thing he could see.

Jaehyun brought a hand near your cheek. It hovered there as he hesitated to touch it to your skin until you leaned into his touch. Your cheek felt so warm in his palm and it was so comforting to have you in his hold. “I wanted to say it earlier but I was just so scared of losing you as both a lover and a friend because what if it all goes to shit? What if we go to shit and things hit the fan? I can’t lose you.”

“But you, Jung Jaehyun, are in love with me?” you repeated as your hand cupped his own. The smile you gave him was bright enough to light up the stage.

“Yeah, I thought I made that clear. I’m sorry, did I mumble that line?” he teased playfully, trying to coerce a giggle out of you. “Should I start the scene over?”

“No, no. I’m just—” you paused and he watched you recollect your thoughts. His glittering brown eyes were trained on you as the words processed in your head. “You love me,” you laughed in disbelief.

Jaehyun took a step closer, his hand tentatively reaching out to stroke your face. He sighed in relief as you relaxed into his touch. “You’re my number one girl. I choose you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that even after all this time, I’ve always chosen you, too.”

Once those words left your lips, he couldn’t hold himself back. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Jaehyun pulled you against his chest and smashed his lips against yours. Yes, he had kissed you on multiple occasions prior to this— onstage and off— but this time was different than the rest.

This was the first time he really kissed you after your feelings were out in the open.

The first time he kissed you and finally felt the love you harbored for so many years. Jaehyun just hoped you could sense the love he was pouring out for you, too.

He did not want to let you go but he was struggling to breathe. You were so lovely, everything about you was so incredibly lovely, and to have you in his arms was the best feeling in the universe. Everything around him turned dark and he felt the warmth of a spotlight and the flush of your body against him. The entire world was spinning beneath his feet, his heart racing, and his lips chasing you and only you.

Jaehyun did not understand why people did drugs— the high of being so ardently in love with another person, with you, gave him the high that he needed.

He felt you hit his chest in an attempt to end the kiss but Jaehyun did not want to stop. A light shove to his shoulders was enough to separate his lips from yours and what a sight you were— chest panting heavily for air, lips plumped and swollen, and the prettiest set of eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed me!” you said in between pants. “Like not a stage kiss but you actually kissed me!”

“That I did, love,” Jaehyun replied cheekily, taking another step towards you. You stepped back to lean against the wall but did nothing to stop him from coming forward. “Are you gonna do something about it?”

The look in your eyes changed after you heard his new nickname for you. It was coy. Flirty. Challenging. “Do it again, I dare you,” you whispered a bit too loudly.

Before Jaehyun closed the distance, his eyebrow perked up at the challenge. “Gladly.”

Senior year was there before we knew it.

Another year, another posting day.

Dejun, Jaehyun, and I swiftly made our way down the hall to the front of the theatre department, curious to find out which roles we were given. The spring production and the final musical of our college career was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.

Callbacks for Belle went as smooth as ever— the chemistry between Jaehyun and I were off the charts. But why wouldn’t they be? We were together now.

Just like any other time, the crowds gathering around the cast list and bulletin board parted immediately once they caught a glimpse of Jaehyun approaching. The only difference was that this time, he was tightly clutching my hand.

When we arrived in front of the board, I shut my eyes before I could read the cast list. An anxious buzz flowed through my veins, tickling the tips of my fingers and toes. My boyfriend must’ve felt the twitching of my fingers or the sweat dripping off my palms.

I felt his body shift towards me. “Want me to take a peek first, love?” Jaehyun asked as he pressed his plump lips onto the crown of my head. He nuzzled his nose into my hair, a small but sweet action that always comforted me.

Shaking my head, I looked at him and said, “No, why don’t we look together?”

“On three?” he grinned lovingly.

“On three, you dumb spoon.”

The countdown was quick but the glance I took at the cast list was even quicker. It was so quick, I almost didn’t catch who was put into the role of Belle. Taking a double take, I let go of Jaehyun’s hand as my eyes zeroed in onto the tiny print.

Everything around me came to a stop as I read and re-read the cast list. Everyone around me was celebrating their parts but I couldn’t hear them, they were all muted in my mind. All I could hear was the sound of my own breaths and all I could see my name on the top of the page.

Belle……………..Y/N The Beast……..Jung Jaehyun

“Oh my god, I got the part,” I whispered to no one in particular. Backing away from the board, I repeated the same words a little louder and it got the attention of everyone surrounding me. Before I knew it, everyone threw a congratulations my way. The cheers were loud and obnoxious but they were for me because I did it. I finally did it.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, I backed away from the blustering crowd before bumping into my boyfriend’s firm chest. Jaehyun caught me in his hold, his arms circling around my waist. He dropped his chin on my shoulder and placed a tender kiss on my temple. “Would you look at that? We’re not a ridiculous set of tableware this time.”

“No disrespect to those parts, they were awesome, but I think I like this a lot more,” I giggled, turning in his hold.

As I circled my arms around his neck, he whispered, “Same here.”

I yanked him down into an earth-shattering kiss that sent the world spinning beneath my feet. It slowed down, speeded up, and it did everything in between. I saw flashes of yellow ball gowns, royal blue coats, and Jaehyun smiling at me gracefully across the stage.

Jaehyun staring me down from the other end of an altar.

I saw it all.

If my life was a movie, then this would be the time that the screen would fade to black and show the names. Some overly poppy song would resonate through the speakers and everyone would get up from their seats and gush over the happy ending.

But it wasn’t. My life was as real as it could be and it was even better than any romantic-comedy that would ever grace the screen.

This wasn’t the ending.

This was the perfect beginning.

AUTHOR’S NOTE. hello, my darling readers! you really didn’t have to wait that long for this release, did you? a big thank you to several people: @johtenrecs for always being my beta and for the helpful feedback, to my chaotic gc ( @smoll-tangerine, @ppangjae, @jaedore, and @jeongvision) for listening to me complain about how i was losing it while writing this fic, to @suhpressed for helping me with brainstorm, and lastly, to my lovely @notnctu bc without her and our crazy idea of hosting a hannah montana collab, i wouldn’t have gotten this idea! love y’all! hope you enjoyed this and please leave feedback! uwu

TAGLIST. @yasmini24 @jaehyunnie77 @emmybyeakitty @fluffyjaes @aevizen @dearjaehyxn @yourmagnanimousholiness @jaehyvnsvalentine @keemburley @softieus @lanadreamie @lebrookestore @notmangojuice @felixn-recs @captainsjoongs @anotherfullsun @ukiyoneo @kunrengui @babyyynatty

#nctsworldfwc #neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct scenarios #nct fic #nct imagines #nct x you #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun x you #jaehyun fic #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

Text

haikyuu!! team christmas parties

a/n: this is a suuuuper late christmas-themed post because it was kinda crazy here but i hope you guys enjoy these headcanons of how christmas parties are like with the teams

karasuno:

a very chaotic yet very festive christmas party

nishinoya and hinata especially are very excited for it you could tell by the way they hum christmas songs in the locker room

naturally sugawara suggests holding a christmas party in his house but the only one he sends invitations to is tsukishima because he's the likeliest one to back out

in fact, sugawara probably sends an invitation to tsukishima's house every single day and at this point both akiteru and his mom are anticipating 'kei's first christmas party with friends'

hinata was too excited that he was there at sugawara's house two hours early but they spent a lot of time decorating the entire place

yamaguchi was there just as early because he thought it would be polite and he even brought a box of chocolates for sugawara's family

all of them also decided to do a secret santa gift exchange to make things fun and so they wouldn't have to give everyone gifts

the only ones who gave everyone gifts though were asahi (HE MADE UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE) and yachi who gave everyone some cookies that she baked

everyone mentally thanked kiyoko for getting yachi as assistant manager

ennoshita's secret santa was tanaka and because he knew that ennoshita has been wanting a starbuck's planner, he enlisted noya's help in getting one

did this mean they both chugged 12 starbucks drinks all by themselves in one day? yeah pretty much

when ennoshita got his gift everyone understood why tanaka and noya were extra hyper that day

kageyama also got tsukishima as his secret santa

tsukki actually tried to exchange with yamaguchi but daichi caught him and said that there were no exchanges

he was also planning to get kageyama a plastic tiara as a gift but daichi also caught him (is2g he's everywhere)

eventually tsukishima settled on giving kageyama a volleyball cause he couldn't go wrong with that

kageyama was actually really happy with the gift but kinda pissed that it came from tsukishima of all people so he was just kinda squinting at tsukishima wondering what to say

anyway they didn't fight that's a christmas miracle

yamaguchi got daichi's name for the secret santa and gifted him a coupon for a free spa visit

daichi has a new favorite child

jk yamaguchi has always been his favorite child

hinata actually got KIYOKO to give a gift too and he was anxious for an entire week worrying about what to give her

he ended up asking natsu for advice and then gifting kiyoko a cute little phone charm

she thought it was sweet and still keeps it to this day

seijoh:

oikawa already had a group chat for a christmas party when december started hanamaki and matsukawa spammed it with memes and santa emojis for the first two weeks

finally when they got around to planning, iwaizumi offered to hold the party at his house

surprisingly, the earliest one there was kyoutani because ofc he's helping his senpai set up

imagine the both of them trimming the christmas tree i'm jlgkjalg

kyoutani even brought his own christmas decorations (they're little dogs with santa hats on them)

kindaichi and kunimi were next to come in and they brought a little gingerbread house that they made themselves

y'all oikawa came in last because of 'traffic' but iwaizumi's like 'bullshit, you live next door'

he was late because he was watching the doctor who christmas special

matsukawa and hanamaki are of course in charge of all the party games that last throughout the night

they have a newspaper dance game and they intentionally paired up oikawa and kyoutani

they were the first ones to lose the game because kyoutani wouldn't come a foot near oikawa and that's about how wide their newspaper was

iwaizumi and kindaichi easily won but kindaichi was flustered that iwaizumi carried him bridal-style

you can bet they also brought karaoke and yahaba surprised everyone with his rendition of 'all i want for christmas is you'

also matsukawa and hanamaki did a really good duet of 'baby it's cold outside'

oikawa wanted to make a speech about his friends being his family and them being his best christmas gift ever but hanamaki stopped him

oikawa ended up giving one anyway when the party ended up going on until much later and everyone cried

everyone except kyoutani who was wondering why everyone was crying until he realized that iwaizumi was going abroad for uni

shiratorizawa:

these guys are so close that they just had to have a christmas party together

goshiki ofc volunteered his own house and was deadset on making it the best christmas ever for his senpais

except tendou may have told him that ushijima's favorite decorations were mistletoe so ofc goshiki hung mistletoe ever

the funny thing is ushijima DOES like mistletoe. he thinks its classy and simple but he doesn't know about the kissing thing

meanwhile shirabu and tendou are on the side wondering if they should tell either of them

semi lost some kind of bet (probs with shirabu and kawanishi) and now he has to dress up as santa claus for some reason

lmao angry santa semi i love it already

tendou made some handmade chocolate truffles and half of them are delicious but the other half have a piece of onion in the middle

but the delicious ones are like REALLY delicious so everyone plays this sort of russian roulette game with tendou's chocolate truffles

semi kept on getting the onion truffles until reon felt bad for him and gave him his chocolate truffle

it ended up becoming a christmas tradition

ushijima actually gave everyone a gift and it's matching knee pads

shirabu actually loves them except he doesn't want to wear them out so he never wears them

also he gets cold really easily so even though the christmas party is indoors, he's wearing a sweater and a coat and a quilt on top of that

he honestly looks so cozy that by the end of the night everyone is cuddled up next to shirabu

EXCEPT USHIJIMA ALSO INVITED COACH WASHIJO TO COME IN

ushijima: he's our coach and therefore a part of our team so of course i invited him

no one can argue with him there

coach washijo was surprisingly a nice guest but everyone was extra courteous around him

semi served him some hot tea and shirabu even gave his quilt

goshiki was hiding in his bathroom because he might get lectured on his serves

they didn't know what activities to do with coach washijo around so tendou suggested watching their volleyball games (yes, goshiki has them all on tape) and coach washijo was all like 'i watch you play all the time why would i want to do that now?'

eventually they settled on watching Polar Express and it was nice

nekoma:

their christmas party is also a costume party because kuroo said so all of them came in christmas-themed costumes

AND THEY WERE ALL GROUP COSTUMES

the third years roped in shibayama and they all dressed up as the characters from 'A Christmas Carol'

shibayama was christmas past, kai was christmas present, kuroo was christmas future, and yaku was scrooge

kuroo: it's perfect because you're short and mean

it's funny because they all end up capitalists

okay but tbh the second years plus lev also went all out for their costumes because they come in as HOME ALONE

i'm clearly biased when it comes to my favorite christmas movies

fukunaga and taketora are the two robbers, kenma's kevin, and lev comes in as the house

it's basically a cardboard cut-out of a house that he and alisa made

the first twenty minutes of their christmas party is basically just them arguing about which group had the better costume

eventually they decide to actually enjoy the party

they end up playing a lot of parlor games and even though kenma hates how loud everyone is, he's still determined to win all of them

i swear, he ended up pushing lev out of the way during musical chairs, also grabbing the chair before sitting on it

but then after that kenma decides to play games for the rest of the night except kuroo confiscated his game console (again)

you can bet yaku and fukunaga cooked the christmas dinner for everyone

kai takes a million pictures for the memories but he's really a perfectionist about it and go crazy whenever lev moves two millimeteres too far to the left

when the pictures are developed kuroo has them developed on matching t-shirts and forces everyone to wear them during practice matches

tsukishima: nice shirt

kuroo: why THANK you

kenma: thanks, i fucking hate it

inarizaki:

ngl they're not SUPER into christmas but they're just mildly curious about the celebration

it's mostly the miya twins who initiate it as a way for all of them to have a get-together during the winter break

kita thinks it's a good idea and invites them all to his house

he's actually quite curious about christmas as a religious celebration so he reads up on it a lot and even starts to up his own nativity scene as decoration

he ends up asking his teammates if they want to bring anything to add to the nativity scene

suna brings his gundam figurines and atsumu has an acrylic standee of momo from twice

and now those are joseph and mary

aran and kita take one look at the nativity scene and go 'this doesn't look right' but atsumu looks so happy to have momo there that they just leave it be

osamu is in charge of food ofc but he can't make up his mind on what to cook so he ends up cooking a little bit of everything

ofc atsumu has to be the one to help him but he ends up tasting and eating a good portion while osamu's cooking

*insert fighting in the kitchen*

suna's just walking around taking pictures of everything and uploading them to his snapchat (which has a lot of followers)

"our chaotic team christmas party part 1 of ???"

aran and kita just want some chill time and drink hot chocolate while watching christmas specials

kita also hung up stockings for everyone and suna was expecting it to have candy but its full of fruit and healthy snacks

they still taste good though

suna’s also the first one to fall asleep right smack on kita’s couch

atsumu’s just about to draw on his face with permanent marker but kita has a disappointed look so he stops instantly

in fact, ALL of them end up falling asleep in the middle of kita’s living room

they look so cute aran is in the middle with each of the miya twins on his side. suna is sprawled all over the couch with his face buried in the cushions. kita is sleeping right next to the coffee table with his arms crossed over his chest

kita’s grandmother walks in on them in the living room and knows FOR SURE that she doesn’t have four grandchildren but she’s making them breakfast anyway

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan @therainroguefanfiction @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @tpwkatsumu

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creationandpeace · 4 years

Text

I Should Tell You.

Season 2 Barry and Iris New Year one-shot.

“Barry, just ask her.” Cisco demanded impatiently pushing Barry out one of the lab rooms.

“I can’t.” He cried gripping his feet to the ground stopping Cisco from dragging him any farther.

“What do you mean you can’t.” He huffed. “You confessed your love to her when she was still with Eddie, you’ve kissed her in a different timeline, you kissed her on Earth-2 and now all of a sudden you’re too afraid to ask her out.”

“It’s different now.” He defended burying his face in his hands.

“Yeah.” He started. “She finally likes you back.” He exclaimed petulantly.

“See that’s the problem.” He explained.

“Man, what?!” Cisco questioned a bit concerned for his friend’s sanity. “All this time, you’ve been so in love with Iris and now you’re afraid to ask her out?” He shouted confused.

“What if she realizes she doesn’t really like me and-” He paused. “It’s going to make everything weird.”

Cisco combed his hands through his hair in frustration. “You literally told this woman you were in love with her while she was with someone else, why would it be harder for you to do it when you’re both single.”

“Cause what if it messes up our relationship, she’s my best friend.” He explained in worriment.

“Again, you confessed your love for her while she was in relationship.” He repeated. “If that didn’t ruin your relationship, I don’t know what can.”

“Thanks Cisco.” He said sarcastically.

“I mean what’s the worst that can happen?” Cisco encouraged. “I mean she already knows how you feel, and the obvious flirting you two have been doing it’s getting hard to watch.”

“Iris hasn’t been flirting with me.” He answered obliviously.

“Whatever.” Cisco huffed rolling his eyes. “Just ask her out.” He demanded heading out the lab. “The worst she can say is no, which I highly doubt she will.”

“Okay, I will.” He swore nervously scratching the back of his head.

“Hey Iris.” Barry heard Cisco say from the hall. “Perfect timing, Barry was just telling me how he had something to ask you.”

“Cisco.” Barry grumbled.

“Okay.” She stated perplexed. “Do you know where he is?”

“He’s in the lab.” He informed her.

“I’m going to kill him.” He grimaced swiping his hand over his face.

“Hey Barr.” Iris greeted with the smile that melted his heart.

“Hi, Hey.” He rambled nervously crossing his arms over his chest.

“Is everything okay?” She asked gently rubbing his shoulder. “Cisco told me you had something to ask me.”

“Yea- no-” He stuttered. “I-um.”

“Barry.” She hummed grabbing a hold of his face. “What’s going on?”

He placed his hands over hers closing his eyes and taking a breath. “Yes, everything is fine.” He assured her.

“So, what is it?” She asked giggling nervously.

“Are you busy this Friday?” He blurted out taking her aback.

She paused. “New Year’s Eve?”

He nodded anxiously. “If you already have plans it’s ok-”

“No Barr, I don’t.” She replied. “What did you have planned?”

“Cisco, wanted to go to this karaoke bar downtown and I was wondering if you wanted to come?” He inquired losing some of his apprehensiveness.

“Sure, that sounds like a lot of fun.” She grinned. “But you have to promise me something.”

“What?”

“You have to sing at least one song.” She requested happily. “I’ve heard you sing in the shower, you’re amazing.”

He was going to protest against it, but he couldn’t say no, not with the way she was staring at him she had him wrapped around her finger. “Fine.”

“Great.” She squealed jumping up and down before pulling him in for a hug.

“But you have to promise me something.” He countered with a chuckle.

“And that is?”

“You sing a duet with me.” He insisted.

“I don’t know.” She debated.

“I’ve heard you sing too, and you have a beautiful voice.” He complimented.

“What would we sing?” She smirked.

“I guess we’ll figure out when we get there.” He told her.

____

“It’s almost our turn to go up and we haven’t picked a song yet.” Iris stated flipping through the karaoke book.

“How about this one?” Barry suggested showing Iris.

“Yeah sure.” She told him adding their names to the list.

“Can you pass me the list; I want to sign up too.” Cisco lied wanting to know what song they picked to sing together. Cisco sighed disappointed with their safe song choice, so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Cisco!” Caitlin scolded. “What? Barry loves musicals and has made us all watch Rent; I think it’s the perfect song for them to sing.”

“Let’s hope you don’t make them run off stage.” Caitlin told him.

“Here’s Barry and Iris singing I should tell you from the musical Rent.” Announced the host as Barry and Iris made their way to the stage.

They both looked at each other panicked just as the music started, they’ve both seen the musical it was one of Barry’s favorites, and even though they’ve watched it together Barry didn’t know how well she knew the lyrics. She nodded ensuring him to start the song, she didn’t know the song perfectly, but the words were on the screen how bad can it go she thought.

Barry looked right into her eyes when he started to sing. “I should tell you I’m disaster…”

She was immediately got lost in his eyes as he started to serenade her, almost missing her cue to go. “Let’s just make this part go faster…” She murmured her eyebrows furrowing together trying her best to get the nervous strain out of her voice. “I should tell you…”

“I should tell you…” He gave her a smile of encouragement as they fell into the flow of the song, they harmonized well together getting more and more comfortable as the song went on. Barry knew Iris had a beautiful voice, but he was surprised on how strong her voice actually was. “Well, here we go now we…” No matter how much his brain reminded him he in a bar surrounded by hundreds of strangers his eyes never left hers they just drew him in closer and closer until they were inches apart. “Trusting desire starting to learn…” She took his hand in hers threading her fingers through his as the song was coming close to the end. “Here goes, Here goes, Here goes.” Once the song finished his mouth fell open astonished. “Wow.” Barry buzzed causing Iris to giggle shyly burying her face in chest.

As they walked off stage, they were meet with loud cheers and claps, receiving praise after praise from strangers at the bar.

“That was so good.” Caitlin complimented. “You guys should sing more duets together.”

“Okayyyy.” Cisco roared. “Mimi and Roger have some competition.”

“We know you changed the song Cisco.” Barry grumbled straight faced.

“Oh please, no one wanted to hear you guys sing You Got A Friend in me from Toy Story.” Cisco told them crudely. “I basically made you two famous.”

“Right.” Iris snorted. “It’s fine we had a good time.”

“Then you should be grateful.” Cisco insisted patting Barry on the shoulder.

Barry just starred at Cisco petulantly before quietly mouthing some insults at him which only made Cisco laugh, he never took Barry’s insults seriously.

“Caitlin and I are going to get a drink at the bar, you guys want anything?” Iris offered.

“Just a beer.” Cisco requested passing them over some cash.

“Barr?”

“I’m good thanks.” He informed her.

“We’ll be back.” Caitlin told them as they travelled towards the bar.

Barry sighed just eyeing Iris as she walked away, Cisco’s song choice didn’t really help his situation he really wish he could just tell Iris how he felt. “Why did you pick that song?” Barry frowned.

“You’re going to thank me one day.” Cisco mouthed. “She might be Iris West-Allen, sooner than you think.”

“Futures change.” Barry panted. “She was going to be Iris West-Thawne, not that long ago.”

“Listen, Eddie was nice and all.” Cisco started. “But even if he hadn’t decided to be the hero Iris would still have ended up with you.”

“You don’t know that she really loved Eddie.” Barry told him somberly.

“And she really loves you, everyone can see that.” Cisco assured him. “She was the one who reached out to hold your hand as you two sang.” He recapped. “She’s drawn to you like a magnet, how can you not see that?”

“I-”

“How much longer till midnight?” Iris asked wrapping her arm around Barry’s waist.

“Just a few more minutes.” Barry said looking down at his watch.

Between the music and the people, the noise was deafening, and it only became louder as the countdown began. “5…4…3…2…1. Happy New Year!” Everyone yelled drunkenly shaking hands, toasting and hugging.

“Happy New Year.” Caitlin announced pulling everyone into a group hug. “Happy New Year.” They echoed.

“Happy New Year Iris.” Barry mumbled into Iris’ ear kissing her temple.

“Hey, can we talk to you for second?” She wondered looking up at him.

“Sure.” He muttered before letting Caitlin and Cisco know they were stepping out.

“We’ll be right back.” She told them before taking his hand in hers leading him to a quiet hallway.

“Is there something wrong?” He asked in worriment.

Without thinking she wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Happy New Year Barry.” She whispered against his lips.

When she began to pull away, he gently grabbed her by the chin and invited her closer kissing her again. “Happy New Year Iris.” He beamed kissing her one last time.

“We should probably head back.” Iris stated shyly.

“Yeah.”

“Heyyyyy.” A tipsy Caitlin welcomed. “As great as you look in red, I don’t think it’s a good lip color for you.” Caitlin uttered noticing Barry’s cherry colored lips. “Looks better on Iris.”

“Caitlin, come dance with me.” Cisco interjected before looking back at Barry and mouthing you’re welcome.

Iris giggled pulling Barry into her embrace. “It’s going to be a Happy New Year.”

“A very Happy New Year.” Barry added kissing her.

#westallen #westallen fanfiction #The Flash #the flash fanfiction #Barry Allen #iris west #Iris West Allen #barry and iris #iris and barry #barry x iris #iris x barry

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restlessmaknae · 4 years

Text

of high school & musicals

You have the captain of the Busan High basketball team and the new student of his class, plus one very random karaoke night, and a whole new revolution at school is born.

♦ Pairing: basketball player!Taehyung x new student!Aera (OC)

♦ Supporting characters: BTS, EXO, GOT7, Red Velvet, APink, JYP cameos

♦ Genre: HSM AU (the main idea and some scenes are the same, but there are of course changes, especially with the ending), fluff, comedy

♦ Words: 13k

♦ A/N: I’ve had the idea for this story a couple of years ago, and I know Taehyung now fits the university AUs more, but I hope you enjoy this fun fic of mine. 💖

Kim Taehyung had been never fond of karaokes.

Especially not those typical karaoke nights on the last day of summer before the new school year would start. But if her mom was happy that she could send him off to have some fun – or at least, she thought so –, he was okay with it. Her mother was such a lovely woman and Taehyung loved her with all his heart because his family was his everything, and he himself was generally a very warm-hearted person who wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose, that’s why he showed up at this year’s karaoke night at a local restaurant.

Though the more he stayed there, the less he felt that he should have been there. He didn’t enjoy singing or listening to pop songs, he was more like the trot lover guy. Retro songs were still bops, right? On the other hand, it didn’t seem that the average high schoolers who took up most of the audience were of the same opinion because they didn’t ask for anything, except those typical boring songs that they constantly played on the radio.

The weird thing is that he was only a spectator and didn’t even intend to give karaoke a try but the enthusiastic MC literally dragged him onto the stage. He didn’t even have the chance to protest, it happened in a blink of an eye and there he was; Kim Trot Lover Taehyung with a microphone in his hand and a mysterious – but beautiful – girl by his side. The girl looked just as puzzled as him – if not more – and it didn’t take him long to realise that she must have been another victim of the annoyingly eager presenter’s hunting for volunteers.

“What is going on?” Taehyung managed a sentence out while his bluntness was evident on his face. He couldn’t help but knit his eyebrows together at the awkwardness of the situation; he – who had nothing to do with karaokes and who was the captain of the high school basketball team – was supposed to sing a duet with a girl he had never even seen in his whole life? What the hell was going on?

“I have no idea,” the pretty female mouthed and her rosy lips slowly curved into a coy smile. Taehyung was literally stunned by this fairy-like creature because he was sure that he had never seen anyone like her before. She had long, onyx-black hair and big doe eyes which were filled with childish twinkles that sparkled among the dark clouds on the sky of her orbs. Her cheeks were a bit rosy, so he assumed that she must have been embarrassed. Nevertheless, she looked indeed cute.

“I’m in love by Ra. D presented by our lovely newcomer couple comes up next! Please, give a round of applause for our newbies! Good luck!” The presenter announced abruptly and prompted the spectators to clap more and more until the cheers and conversations finally died down and there was complete silence for a moment.

Taehyung had never been so nervous in his life but right now he was so damn confused that he didn’t even know what to do. The girl was bouncing nervously as she looked around and came in sight with the white screen, presenting the next song’s lyrics. It was somewhat familiar to him but he couldn’t sing it wholeheartedly since the whole situation was incredibly odd for him.

Taehyung only sang under the showerhead and that’s why his mother sometimes complimented him for his good voice but he thought that it was just her mum being her usual proud mommy self, nothing more. So no, no thanks, he was sure that he wasn’t a born singer. He was a basketball player for God’s sake! Basketball players don’t sing. They just don’t.

Yet, standing on the stage with a complete stranger who seemed way more nervous than him, Taehyung didn’t want to let her down, so he decided to be the first one to start singing. To his amazement, it felt more and more natural as time went by.

He was sure that his deep and raspy voice sounded like a growling of a wolf’s but the audience didn’t seem to notice his lack of talent because they cheered more and more wildly. After his first part, it was time for the girl to show her skills and it would be an understatement to say that he was shocked. He was utterly shocked, absolutely out of words when he heard her voice!

It was so sweet and warm like honey and the way she pronounced the words was like a beautiful lullaby hummed by his mother. Her mellifluous voice reminded him of home and something that reminds you of home is definitely a thing that you are fond of. Taehyung fell for it the moment he heard her first words.

When they had to harmonise, he was afraid that it would sound totally rubbish but maybe it was because she was too talented to hide the fact that he was quite unskilled – to say the least -, it didn’t sound as awful as he had expected. On top of that, it felt surprisingly good to be her duet partner and he particularly enjoyed singing with her. He could forget about the fact that he wasn’t a singer while he was with her because she totally captured him. He was so lost in her already, he could only see her heart-shaped face and hear her angel-like voice. It was quite a magical moment, and it was over way too soon.

“Huh, that’s what I call a performance!” The presenter ran onto the stage as the song came to an end and grabbed Taehyung’s microphone, so that he could start his own one-man show. “Our newcomer couple was absolutely amazing! Maybe you’ll thank me one day because I’ve chosen you,” he looked directly at them and muttered the next few words. “Or not,” he shrugged his shoulder and elbowed Taehyung to get his attention and swiftly showed their way off stage.

Taehyung was so lost in his own thoughts that by the time he manoeuvred himself through the cheering crowd, the mysterious girl had already gone. He couldn’t just miss this opportunity, he had to find her!

He couldn’t sit still and wait for her to pass by again, so he went to search for her. He felt like it was the start of something new and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Plus, he didn’t know this girl and it was quite surprising since he was the captain of the Busan Seagulls and thus he knew almost everyone at Busan High.

So who could be this mysterious girl?

On the other hand, Ryu Aera she couldn’t believe her luck that she had met such an attractive guy the first day she had moved to Busan. It was peculiar, wasn’t it? She had never been that kind of girl who would go out partying and the first time she had given in to attend a karaoke night at a family-run restaurant, she had bumped into a cute boy with an amazing voice? Ah, she must have been daydreaming...

Though when their stage with the boy came to an end, something in her guts told her that it would the best if she left and never saw him again. So, she immediately scampered away and started walking back to her new home in an attempt to avoid bumping into Mr. Attractive. The further she got, the more relieved she felt.

Then, out of the blue, she felt a tight grip on her left arm and without giving much thought, she punched the stranger with her bag. The attacker could only let out an aghast whimper.

“Ouch!”

The familiar male voice exclaimed and when Aera came in sight with those beautiful almond-shaped eyes and that damn attractive grin, her hands flew to her mouth in panic.

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” she asked frantically, mentally giving herself a good slap for being such a scaredy-cat and attacking strangers, not even observing who they were.

Of course, that’s what her parents had taught her to do so, yet she felt utterly guilty as she looked at Mr. Attractive who managed to keep his cool and busied himself with brushing off the imaginary dust from his clothes.

“Of course, I’m okay. It’s nothing, I get hit by girls every single day,” he shrugged idly and a weak chuckle made its way past her lips to mask her anxiety.

“I’m really sorry. It was just self-defence.”

“I know, I know,” he raised his arms in defeat. “Girls really shouldn’t walk alone on these dark streets at this hour. I totally get why you slapped the guy whom you thought was a crazy pervert with your fairly heavy bag,” he babbled continuously and his humour was definitely one of a kind.

Aera felt a need to laugh out loud but she was too embarrassed to even say a single word, so she gave him a brief nod and sealed her lips tight. She saw as Mr. Attractive was eyeing her top to bottom and felt her cheeks heating up a bit when their eyes finally met. She noticed the gentle rise of his eyebrows but she couldn’t tell what exactly caught his attention. She was an average girl with that kind of girl-next-door personality and there was nothing remarkable about her appearance either.

The moment she bit her lower lip, his lashes fluttered and there he was again with his smug grin!

“So, Miss Black Belt, I must admit that I haven’t seen you here before. Are you new?” The stranger raised his eyebrows in question and the slight twinkle in his eyes made her heart flutter.

“Yeah, I’m new here. I just got here today.”

“Then, welcome to Busan! I’m sure you’ll have a great time here,” he shot her a huge smile and his hushed, hoarse voice sent shivers down her spine. There was something really captivating about this boy because every single time he opened his mouth to say something, she immediately felt the corner of her lips curving into a smile and her heart thumping, strumming strongly against her ribcage. Or maybe it was just a chain-reaction after their duet together, nothing else. After all, biology was everywhere.

She only nodded to his welcoming words, but she didn’t know what could she say that was appropriate in such a situation. However, the boy was quick to react instead of her.

“Oh, by the way, I’m Kim Taehyung,” he introduced himself kindly as reached his hand out politely and gave her a reassuring press when she replied to his handshake. His touch was as smooth as the cream on her favourite caramel macchiato, even though at first sight his hands seemed a bit rough. Maybe he was doing athletics or something like that because sporty guys usually had such strong yet delicate hands.

“Ryu Aera,” she did the same as she made an attempt to give him a brief but friendly nod.

They kept eyeing each other for a few moments, her getting immersed in his almost-shaped eyes, wondering whether it was possible that the moonlight above their head was really painting lines onto the canvas of his eyes. However, yet again, it was the unfamiliar boy who saved the two of them and the silence from becoming awkward.

“You were absolutely amazing back there! Perhaps, are you a singer?” Taehyung complimented her enthusiastically, and she couldn’t help but snicker hysterically at his assumption. She immediately waved her hands in front of her body, insisting that she wasn’t a very good singer, she was just enjoying doing it.

“Then how could you sing so well?” He looked at her, totally baffled.

Taehyung put her into a predicament as even she didn’t know the explanation to his question. She had never been trained, nor had she attended an arts school but it seemed that she had developed a talent for singing. Or at least, everyone around her had said so but she had always shooed them away. Nonsense, she protested. She was a nerd, trying to balance between her studies and future goals, she had nothing to with singing!

“I could ask you the same,” Aera pointed out though, smoothly changing the topic from her singing to his amazing, husky voice.

“Wait, what? Me? As a singer? No way!” He howled in laughter until he saw a serious expression displaying on her face. Then, he cleared his throat and lifted his chin up. “No, I can’t sing,” he shook his head violently, but Aera could detect a hint of sorrow buried under his reply.

“Yes, you can!”

“No, I can’t!” He countered cockily and his reaction was so fervent that she assumed that Taehyung really believed his own words. Of course, his lack of talent was only a dull, flat lie but who was she to try to convince him to think otherwise?

“Anyway, I really enjoyed our duet. I thought that this karaoke night would be just another bunch of boredom but thanks to you, I had quite a good time,” he accentuated the word ‘you’ and looked like he was trying to pierce into her soul with his intense stare. Well, he made an excellent job as Aera was already under his spell and couldn’t do anything, except blushing and blushing even more.

It wasn’t until some passer-by bumped into her that she finally snapped back to her senses. She realised that they were still in the middle of the street, both stopped dead in their tracks and there were others around them. She inwardly cursed herself for being such a frivolous girl but who could blame her when she had just gotten to Busan and felt like she was finally at ease when she sang that duet with him? Before encountering Taehyung, she had felt so out of place but now, she felt like Busan was already a bit like home. He felt a bit like home.

“I’m sorry, but I must go now. I promised my mum that I would get back on time,” she stumbled upon her words as she came back to her senses, checking the time on her watch. It was already past the time she had discussed with her mother. Oh, she was in so much trouble! Staying out later on her first day in Busan? That’s minimum a week or two of doing the dishes and taking out the rubbish!

Upon hearing her words, Taehyung pouted like a little kid in front a candy shop but transformed back into his goofy self in a swift moment.

“And how about I’ll−”

“Thanks for everything. I hope you’ll have a great night!” Aera cut him off and even though the boy wanted to protest, he had no chance but to watch as her silhouette faded away in the abyss of the cheering crowd, her leaving as quickly as she had come into his life.

The first firework exploded right when she left him and that’s how he was left with only her sweet words that were floating around his ears and the picture of her heart-shaped face, cherry-like rosy lips, glistening charcoal orbs and her unfathomable, brittle and soothing voice. She was like a beautiful dream; she came without warning and didn’t even stay long. Only that lingering feeling that he felt after she had left reminded him that he had ever seen her.

Even though she was attending school for more than half of her life, she was just as nervous now as on the first day of school. Well, it was really her first day at Busan High but it felt unexpectedly odd. Like she wasn’t the part of the machine; everyone was busy chatting with their friends around their lockers and didn’t even care to glance at her when she walked by. She thought that nothing was worse than being noticed but she was dead wrong. It was much worse to be invisible. Students didn’t even want to answer her questions, even though she didn’t ask something like ‘what is the formula of ascorbic acid’ but basic things like ‘where can I find classroom 22’.

There was only one girl who was willing to help.

“I’m going there as well, so I’ll show you the way,” the short yet confident girl flashed her a friendly smile, small wonder why Aera’s shoulders immediately slumped in ease. “I’m Kang Seulgi,” the other girl started the introduction right away but instead of being nosy, Aera assumed that she was just curious. After all, she was a new student and Seulgi looked like someone who knew everybody there, so she introduced herself politely, directing a smile at Seulgi.

“I guess you’re our new classmate,” she prattled gleefully as they were walking towards that specific classroom and bobbed her head whenever someone familiar passed by. She really did seem like someone who knew half of the students here.

“Does everyone know that I’m already here?” Aera sneaked a glance at the other girl, a bit afraid of her answer. Seulgi merely rolled her eyes but her face slowly dissolved into an affectionate smile.

“Well, we live in the 21st century, so yeah, everyone knows. Probably the whole school knows by now.”

“Great!” she bellowed indignantly because she hated being the new student. Whether it meant that people looked down on her or totally ignored her, she hated playing the new nerd’s part. She was lucky that Seulgi didn’t run away when she encountered her, she couldn’t even imagine what could have happened if she hadn’t been there.

“You don’t need to worry as long as you see me. I know everything about the school, the gangs, the gossips, the teachers. My knowledge will definitely come in handy for you,” she offered as she playfully winked at her. Her witty reply perked her up a bit. So far, meeting Seulgi was the best thing that happened to her since she had come to Busan. Or wait… just the second best.

When they finally arrived at classroom 22, Seulgi confidently stormed into the classroom, leaving Aera with no chance but to go with her. She tailed after her like a puppy following its owner and emulated her action when she sat down – probably at her own table. She slid into a seat beside her and busied herself with packing out of her bag.

“Any questions?” Seulgi leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and chin in her hands.

Aera was pondering for a thought because she had so many questions but she had no idea which was sensible and which wasn’t. Instead, she looked down at the paper they had given to her at the administration office and started observing it. When she saw an unfamiliar name written on the paper, she felt a need to ask about who it was.

“Who is Park Jinyoung?”

“You mean THE Park Jinyoung? Mr. Park Jinyoung?” Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows in question and Aera would lie if she said that her statement didn’t confuse her.

“Why? Are there any guys by the name Park Jinyoung, except THE Park Jinyoung?” she inquired as she tried to mimic the other girl’s tone when she was talking about that said Park Jinyoung.

“Yeah, sure. There was also a cute senior named Park Jinyoung who had graduated last year,” Seulgi explained, spacing out for a moment when was asked about the other Park Jinyoung, but she couldn’t exactly say why. Maybe she had a crush on that guy? Who knew? “But Mr. Park Jinyoung is our homeroom teacher and the head of the drama department. Believe me, he takes drama way too seriously, so even if you’re just a little bit interested in musicals, he will immediately give you a role. Or probably two because they are out of members at the moment,” she muttered under her breath and used lively gestures to make her little introduction a bit more interesting.

“Are you in the drama club?”

“Oh dear, no way!” Seulgi shrieked in panic. What kind of question was that? She was literally hurt from even the idea of being a member of the drama club. “I have science club twice a week and I’m the captain of the Scholastic Decathlon Team, so that’s totally enough for me.”

When she mentioned the science club, Aera’s heart started beating faster. It was her chance to get to know others better while focusing on her studies at the same time! And if it was arranged by Seulgi, she was sure that she would have a great time there.

“Can I join the science club, too?” she inquired, maybe a little too enthusiastic but she lowkey loved science. She wanted to be a doctor; to be precise, a pediatrician. She always loved kids and biology, so it was definitely the profession of her dreams. Although it would be a thorny road until she would be able to have her own clinic and cure those little kids, she wanted nothing more than to succeed in fulfilling her dream of becoming a pediatrician.

“Sure. I’d be happy if I finally had a seatmate,” Seulgi clapped her hands enthusiastically and grinned from ear to ear. From that moment on, she was her new best friend and vice versa.

In the next few minutes, Seulgi managed to tell her about almost everything and everyone in the school but there was one particular person Aera had already known.

“You see that guy over there with the messy ‘I woke up like this’ hair and cute little baby cheeks? Now, that’s−“

“Kim Taehyung,” she cut her off when Seulgi was giving a presentation on their classmates, detailed and honest with little comments based on her own opinion and experiences. Nevertheless, she didn’t need help with this particular guy; she already knew this one.

Aera’s heart literally stopped functioning for a moment when she caught sight of the smugly smirking boy who was joking and chatting with a group of other guys in the classroom. He was having fun and laughing out loud whenever someone told him a funny story about their days. She couldn’t believe her eyes, even though everything proved that it was him. His slightly curly, fluffy, chocolate-brown curls, his warm, sparkling, coffee-black orbs, his sharp jawline, his smear lips and his whole ethereal presence. She didn’t need to convince herself, it was definitely Kim Taehyung.

“Ah, so you already know him,” Seulgi said flatly, shrugging her shoulders and moving on with the introductions. “The redhead beside him is his best friend, Park Jimin. He’s like the leader of the nerd teasing squad. Seriously, don’t talk to him! He thinks that he’s funny but he’s actually not,” she continued while Aera let her eyes linger at the masculine boy who was currently dying of uncontrollable laughter. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw them together. Their happiness was definitely contagious.

“You find him attractive, don’t you?” Aera gave her new friend a look when she noticed how Seulgi looked at Jimin. It wasn’t the kind of stare that you display when you see someone you actually hate, it was more like an I’m-looking-at-my-secret-crush-but-I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it look.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Okay, maybe just a little but that doesn’t mean that I like him,” she admitted with an annoyed albeit resigned sigh because she had never good at acting. Maybe she did find him attractive, she just didn’t want to admit it so quickly.

“And... he’s Mr. Park Jinyoung,” Seulgi announced when a tall figure stepped into the room, holding a book in one hand and a collection of costumes in the other. Oh, he was apparently the drama teacher!

Aera should have said that she paid attention to the homeroom teacher but her eyes weren’t fixated on him but on someone else. And that someone else only caught sight of her when she really didn’t want to – during the time when she was secretly attending the new musical’s audition.

Kim Taehyung would swear by his favourite basketball that he didn’t intend to sneak a glance at the new musical’s audition, he merely walked by on his way to the sport lockers. The music prompted him to get closer to its source, but he wouldn’t have thought that he would see a familiar pretty silhouette there.

His jaw literally dropped when he saw Ryu Aera at Busan High, hiding behind a janitorial rolling cart while watching the one and only Jung twins who had been the main attractions of the musicals ever since they had started high school together.

“Peek-a-boo!” Taehyung jumped in front of the poor girl who subconsciously pushed the cart to him, in order to protect herself. The boy could only move out of its way thanks to his quick reflexes and the fact that he was faster than Aera’s hands.

“Oh my gosh, you startled me,” she yelped, placing her hands on her chest in relief. She drew a thick, shaking breath before she could pay more attention to him yet again.

“I can see that.” Taehyung giggled absent-mindedly and averted his eyes to the ongoing performance. The Jung twins were singing a quite catchy and upbeat song and it wasn’t hard to tell that they had a talent for it. Jung Eunji could hit those high notes just as well as a professional singer and Jung Hoseok could complement her well with his sweet tone and funky moves. He preferred dancing over singing but it wasn’t because of his lack of experience but rather because of the fact that the soon-to-be musical star had always been Eunji and not him. He didn’t seem to mind it though.

“What do you think about the so-called Jung twins aka Jung Eunji and Jung Hoseok?” Taehyung pointed to the performing duo, his eyebrows slightly raised in question. Aera was quite taken aback by the sudden question and looked a bit intimidated when she realised how good they were.

“They are really talented.” She gulped to cover up her anxiety but Taehyung could see her through. Although it was the second time they met – or so he thought because he didn’t know that Aera caught sight of him during homeroom class –, he could read her so well as if they had been friends for years. What to do when she was so easy to read? Everything was clearly written on her face.

“More than we were?”

“Of course,” she declared fervently but when she saw that he huffed slightly, she nervously started justifying her statement. “I mean, you are incredibly talented, maybe just as talented as the guy on stage but I’m sure that I’m not as good as her,” she objected violently because Eunji’s high notes definitely sent shivers down her spine. Oh, how she wished she could sing like her!

“Oh, come on! We both know that I can’t sing!” Taehyung confronted wearily but Aera had no idea why he said that.

Seulgi mentioned something about a Christmas play where the Jung twins had been the main characters while others – such as Jimin and Taehyung – played minor roles and stated that the basketball player boys had been awful but she didn’t mention anything about the singing part. Maybe she should ask her someday.

“But you have such a beautiful voice!” Taehyung said in awe and made immediate eye-contact with her. His stare was dangerous; intense like lighting during a terrifying thunderstorm and searing like a first kiss after yearning after one another for a long time. Her knees immediately gave in and she also felt her cheeks turning scarlet-red. “Why don’t you try auditioning for the musical? I’m sure they would get you in.”

“No, it’s really not my cup of tea.” She shook her head with a bitter smile because although she would love to try, she knew that she couldn’t compete against the Jung twins. She wasn’t a singer after all, she was merely fond of humming songs when she was fed up with studying and wanted to have some rest. The older she got, the more she was keen on singing.

“Then why are you here?” the boy asked bluntly and she already opened her mouth to say something when she realised that she didn’t have an appropriate reason for watching the Jung twins’ audition. Instead, she decided to play cockily.

“I could ask you the same.”

“You always say this when you don’t want to answer my question,” Taehyung murmured with a lopsided grin. Aera let out a wholehearted chuckle.

“I was trying to find the women’s room but ended up finding the janitor’s closet, so I was on my way back to the corridor when I heard someone singing a song and curiosity dragged me here,” she shared her miserable story which sounded even more embarrassing when she said it out loud. New students always get lost at least once, right? “How about you?”

“I was going to basketball practice and the lockers are in this direction, so I had to pass by. And when I saw you, I wanted to make sure that you are Aera and it’s not just my imagination that deceived me,” he cutely scratched the back of his neck while his sweet words undeniably carried an enigmatic air that chilled Aera to the bones. How could Kim Taehyung be so eternally adorable while only talking about how he had ended up watching the audition with her? She didn’t know but she was sure that this guy was one of a kind.

“I’m−”

“Is there anyone who would like to give a performance?” Mr. Park Jinyoung exclaimed from the theatre room while they were still behind its entrance, so he couldn’t see how the two youngsters jumped in surprise when he raised his voice. “No, well, if not, then let’s call it a day! I’ll make sure that the parties involved are informed about the cast of the new show.”

Taehyung made an attempt to push Aera forward but she was too adamant to even take a step closer, so the drama teacher turned off the lights and left the room. Luckily, the boy came back to his senses before they could encounter Mr. Park Jinyoung and dragged her into the janitor’s closet when he noticed that the teacher was coming their way. He quickly closed the door and they soon fell into an awkward silence.

“Are you afraid of Mr. Park?” Aera whispered sheepishly.

“No. I just don’t want him to know that we were here, so that he wouldn’t start gossiping.”

“Oh, I see.” She giggled a bit upon hearing his words because she didn’t think there was anything that their homeroom teacher could gossip about.

Yet, she felt a blush staining her cheeks pink when Taehyung’s arms accidentally brushed hers. The closet wasn’t even enough for one person to move comfortably, no wonder why they had to stand so close to each other. The fact that she heard his heartbeat made her alarmed because this way, Taehyung could also hear hers which was erratic as hell.

“Has he left?”

“Yeah, I guess.” The boy cleared his throat after looking out of the closet’s window for a bit and Aera swore that she saw a grin forming on his lips. But who knew, it was too dark to see anything properly.

“It’s clear now. We can go out,” he announced confidently as soon as he opened the door to let her out. He pouted a little when they got out of the closet and Aera didn’t exactly know why. He mustn’t have felt as anxious as her. Or at least, that’s what she thought so.

“I can’t believe that it’s my first day here and I’ve already been to the janitor’s closet.” She let out a childish chortle as she was brushing the dust from her clothes.

“To be honest, it’s my first time, too,” Taehyung donned a joyful grin and the two of them soon broke into little fists of laughter. He found solace in the melody of her laugh; it sounded like a heart-warming lullaby that parents sing to their kids in order to make sure that they sleep well. It was so reassuring that he felt like the weight was lifted off of his chest.

Suddenly, someone bumped into Taehyung and ruined their perfect bonding moment. He might have been more furious if he hadn’t known that it was Jeon Jungkook and Jeon Jungkook was so innocent that he couldn’t even kill a bug. Jungkook was his classmate – and now Aera’s, too – and he was also the composer and songwriter of Mr. Park’s musicals. He was a prodigy, they said, but due to their different interests, Taehyung had never actually had a conversation with him. Well, things are bound to change.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” he apologised restlessly and even bowed three times before he started gathering his music sheets which he had accidentally dropped when he bumped into him. Aera and Taehyung both crouched down to help him, so it didn’t take him long to scoop himself – and his stuff – up.

“Is this the song we’ve heard before?” Aera asked adoringly, observing a sheet in her hands. She looked up from it to meet Jungkook’s eyes and Taehyung couldn’t help but feel like an outcast seeing their cosy scene. He didn’t want to say that he was jealous but… hell yeah, he was jealous!

The boy nodded feebly and looked like he desperately wanted to evaporate right then and there.

“It’s such a beautiful song.”

“The message is nice, too.”

“T-thanks,” he stammered after both of them completed his song which was undeniably lovely but the twins’ version was a bit too upbeat for his liking. He knew that he was just the songwriter but he didn’t exactly imagine his song to be performed the way Hoseok and Eunji had done so. However, he couldn’t do anything if Mr. Park liked it.

“Aera wanted to audition but she was too shy to say so,” Taehyung blurted out impudently and poor girl almost had a heart attack when she heard his words.

“Would you like to give it a try now?” Jungkook suggested, pointing at the piano on the stage. “I know you can’t get the part, but I’m curious how you would sing it,” he cutely tilted his head forward. The boy’s offer seriously flabbergasted her but she nodded without hesitation.

A few moments later, there they were again; on stage, together with Taehyung, singing a beautiful love song. She was blushing deeply while her heart was pounding a little too loud. Once again, she felt that kind of homey feeling when they were singing together. She couldn’t even suppress those smiles that were creeping onto her face while Taehyung’s smiles were so sickeningly sweet that she just wanted to sweep him into a bear hug. She felt lucky to be by his side and get lost in his beautiful, deep voice.

“Wow, that was amazing!” Jungkook whispered in awe after he had stopped playing the piano and gave them a thumbs-up. Aera bit her lower lip in embarrassment while Taehyung gave another one of his trademark grins. Such different ways to receive compliments. “I didn’t know that you two could sing so well,” he admitted with a timid half-smile but he wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

There was a man listening to their duet from the theatre’s entrance who jotted their names down on his list with a mischievous smile forming on his lips.

So many things happened to Aera on her first day of school. She had met Seulgi, gotten a quite detailed description of the school and her classmates, secretly watched the winter musical’s audition and even bumped into Taehyung whom she had sang another duet with. What a day!

It wasn’t even over because after a nice little chat with Jungkook, Taehyung offered that he would walk her to the bus stop. He stated that it was only because she was new and he wanted to make sure that she hops on the right bus. Still, Aera felt nervous little butterflies in her stomach the moment they started walking on the streets and she became more and more thrilled as time went by. She wasn’t usually like this but there was something about Taehyung that made her feel like a stupid school girl chasing after her long-time crush.

“I was so surprised when I saw you at school today. I didn’t know that you would be our new classmate,” Taehyung broke the silence before it would get even more nerve-wrecking and awkward. Her lips curved into a proud smile upon hearing his words.

“Well, my mom got transferred to Busan due to her job, so we moved here,” she explained with a nod. “And I also didn’t know that you attend the same school as I do.”

“To be precise, you attend the same school as I do because I was here first,” he corrected her, childishly sticking a tongue out at her. She gently nudged his shoulder in response.

The sudden skinship left her with a lingering feeling and she had to admit that she wanted more. It was so pleasant being around Taehyung because he was so easy-going that Aera couldn’t even believe that it was their second encounter. She already felt like they had known each other for a long time. Still, she was perfectly aware of the fact that there was so much more to Kim Taehyung and there was so much more that she didn’t share with him.

“And I also didn’t know that you’re the captain of the basketball team. How long have you been playing basketball?” she inquired, finally falling into step with him who had fun walking faster in order to annoy her. He was such a buffoon.

“I don’t even know,” he pondered for a thought while his eyes were staring far ahead. “It feels like I’ve been doing it since I was born. I remember the first time when I’ve gotten a basketball and I was approximately 5 around that time. I just fell in love with the tension, the energy and the speed. I never got bored of it because it helped me to relieve stress as I got older,” he admitted, his voice trailing off at the end.

Aera had never seen him like this before; not being that goofy guy who wanted nothing more than to play with her and take advantage of her petite figure. He was severe this time, his caramel-brown eyes hinting at his seriousness.

“Would you like to be a professional basketball player one day?”

“Why? Am I not a professional basketball player?” He mimicked her curious tone on purpose and received another amused eye-roll from Aera. “Yeah, I’d love to. But it depends on how well I perform next year. The scholarship is based on our scores during senior year.”

“I’m curious how you play,” she remarked as she smiled cryptically, eyes twinkling with mirth. It was so fun to imagine him playing at the basketball field in usual sportswear, not just his casual baggy clothes and worn Converse shoes. “I can’t imagine you running up and down, chasing a ball and using tricky tactics to deceive your opponent.”

“I can reassure you that I look totally awesome while chasing a ball and using tricky tactics to deceive my opponent,” he quoted her exact words with a cheeky smirk that made her cheeks burn up a bit. Taehyung surely knew how to behave around a lady and Aera could have said that she actually mind it. Yet, she didn’t.

“I don’t care about looks. The thing is that you have to enjoy it,” she pointed it out but Taehyung was up for another round of endless teasing. He suddenly came to a halt and his hands flew up to his mouth as if he had been totally shocked.

“So you say that I’m not attractive?” He huffed with his mouth agape. She waved her hands dismissively.

“No, I didn’t say anything like that.”

“So you say I am?”

“I didn’t say that either,” she pointed out playfully and shook her head in disbelief. Taehyung was really something; she hadn’t laughed this much for a long time. Plus, instead of playing the new student’s role, she finally felt like she was worth more than just the fact that she had moved to Busan a few days ago. All thanks to Taehyung.

They soon fell into a comfortable silence as their laughs died away and they slowly approached the bus stop. The timetable said that her bus would come in 5 minutes, so the boy decided to keep her company until he made sure that she got home safely.

“Now, how about you? What do you want to do in the future?” Taehyung asked, taking a step closer to her due to the amount of passengers waiting for the bus. His close presence made her slightly cringe but it wasn’t that kind of terrifying cringe that you feel when you’re watching a horror movie. No, it was more like watching a little snowflake dancing in the winter storm, beautifully spinning round and round.

“I would like to be a pediatrician,” Aera declared confidently. She assumed that Taehyung’s eyes would widen in surprise because people don’t usually think that she would like to be a doctor. Nevertheless, he didn’t make any stupid preconceptions and she was so thankful for that.

“Ah, pediatricians are cute!”

“What? You have a thing for pediatricians?” She didn’t bother hiding her amusement because she thought that it was cute that Taehyung believed that pediatricians were cute.

“I just say that it’s nice how they can take care of children and be patient with them. I really appreciate them since my mom is also one of them,” he blurted out and gave her a sheepish smile. He wasn’t ashamed of his mum’s profession because he was already thankful for the fact that he had such a lovely family. Whenever he thought about his mom, he felt a pleasant kind of warmth in his chest. Aera could also sense his affection and squealed a little inside when she saw how lovingly Taehyung talked about his mom. It was always nice to see such filial sons.

“Oh really? How lovely!” Aera exclaimed enthusiastically. “You couldn’t have had a hard time visiting doctors when you were young.”

“I was my mom’s favourite patient,” he grinned wickedly and the girl felt the need to smack him in the chest to distract him from her blushing face. He was just too adorable to be real.

Luckily or not, Aera’s bus arrived, so they had to bid their goodbyes. For the first time that day, she didn’t know what to say nor do because they had only met for the second time and it wasn’t that they were friends either. She couldn’t tell what they meant for each other but she was sure that it was still early for a hug or something, thus she decided to wave in his direction and left with a casual See you tomorrow.

Taehyung immediately felt a pang in his chest when her bus disappeared around the corner. He didn’t find the right words to say when it was time to say goodbye but he wanted to share so much more with her. For example, he wanted to thank her for being so understanding and not judging him for his looks or his interests. He wanted to thank her for making him laugh and smile and for singing with her. He was suffocating from prejudice and she was his reason to breathe again. She was his oxygen and he didn’t want to stay away from her.

Not today, not anymore.

Being the captain of the Busan Seagulls meant that he had to be the most responsible and approachable person in the team. However, Kim Taehyung was everything but responsible.

He was a carefree, youthful kid, trying to make the most of his high school years and spending as much time with his friends as possible. His best friend – Park Jimin – was always up for a fun little basketball match with just the two of them, sharing secrets and hilarious stories with one another because that’s how they bonded together; during sports, with only a few words exchanged, avoiding getting too emotional. Because guys are manly, not mushy!

As the leader of the basketball team, he had several duties. One of them was to welcome the new members such the super tall guy – Park Chanyeol – who was more enthusiastic chasing the ball than actually using it to score a goal.

“Are you sure that you want to have him in the team?” Jimin raised an eyebrow in question, slightly judging the younger yet much taller guy. It was still a mystery how Jimin could be such an excellent player with his height but he said that it was because he was faster than he actually seemed. Well, Taehyung couldn’t argue with that.

“Well, newbies are always welcome.” Taehyung shrugged. “Plus, we need an extra member because someone has to be the rocket man, right?” he nudged his friend’s shoulder while they exchanged knowing looks. It was their little joke to call those guys the rocket guys who were mostly just warming up on the bench and not participating in the game itself.

They were standing beside the court, watching the newbies practicing and warming up in order to show their skills. Taehyung could rest a little until their coach was coordinating the members and writing down the new members’ names.

That’s when the cream of the crop – also known as Min Yoongi, the living legend of the Busan Seagulls – rushed into the gym, literally fuming. He was undeniably the best player in the team, his reflexes were quick and he was quite tricky when it came to deceiving his opponents. His moves were so graceful yet so precise, he was a born basketball player whose name was known by all who was familiar with this sport. However, the thought had never crossed his mind that he would like to be the captain of team because he didn’t want to take on any responsibilities. He claimed that he enjoyed playing but he wasn’t good at motivating and coordinating a team.

“Hi, Yoongi!” Jimin welcomed him with a huge smile. “What’s with that face of yours?” he inquired, looking at the frowning guy who wrinkled his nose in annoyance.

“Mr. Park stopped me on the way to ask about the winter musical. God knows why he thinks that I would do the part of the angel.”

“The what?” Taehyung snickered half-heartedly. He had no idea that Mr. Park was planning to involve such characters. If he had known, he would have never made an effort to sing that song two days ago, on the day of the audition. The song was incredibly good as it was Jeon Jungkook’s work but he could have known that Mr. Park’s ideas were far more eccentric than he could have ever guessed.

“The angel,” he repeated as he clenched his teeth and it almost sounded like he had spat some nasty words in spite of the fact that he was only talking about angels. “He wants to get somebody to dress up as an angel and stand beside the main couple to show that they are indeed a match made in heaven.” He rolled his eyes impatiently and a huff of air left his nose in disbelief.

Giving them a final glare, Yoongi swiftly excused himself and headed to the lockers. As soon as he left, Jimin couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, he guffawed so hard that he almost had to shed a tear.

“Can you just imagine Yoongi as an angel? With the halo and wings and totally white clothes? Oh my gosh, I just can’t!” He clutched his chest in an attempt to control his laughter but he couldn’t do it; he got the giggles.

“Why would Mr. Park need an angel in the musical?” Taehyung pondered for a thought, ignoring his friend’s enthusiastic reaction. As the weird man he was, he could still come up with pretty enjoyable musicals but to have an angel in the musical? The older he got, the more interesting cast he wanted, it seemed so.

“I don’t know, man,” his best friend remarked and literally wiped a tear away with his thumbs. “Why did he need trees in the Christmas play when we were there?” he wondered, finally getting his grip together.

“I have no idea,” Taehyung mused, shaking his head as it was still a question to him. He knew that the school hadn’t had enough money for equipment back then, so that’s why they had had to dress up as trees, candles and stars for the Christmas play. “Do you know anything about the winter musical?”

The words rolled off his tongue unknowingly, causing the other boy to stare at him in confusion.

“Do I look like someone who’s interested in musicals?” he paused for a moment to emphasise the fact that he wasn’t in the least interested in the drama teacher’s next attempts. “Oh please, since we broke our arms, I don’t even want to hear the word ‘musical’. So no, I don’t know anything apart from what Yoongi had said. Why do you ask?”

“I was just curious,” Taehyung muttered under his breath. Although he had sang that song with Aera, he didn’t know anything about the musical, nor its cast or concept. Not like he would watch it or any stupid thing like that, he was merely a nosy person.

There was an awkward silence which he really wanted to break but his tongue was completely tied. He knew what his best friend was thinking concerning musicals and he didn’t believe that it would be a sensible idea to broach up the topic again. Jimin wasn’t the type who would make stupid preconceptions but after that iconic Christmas play, he wouldn’t like to get involved in that drama nonsense again.

To his amazement, his best friend was the first to fill in the silence.

“To be honest, it’s always about the Jung twins, so even if I wanted to watch it, I don’t think it would make me satisfied. They are good, that’s for sure, but obviously they can’t play lovers and Mr. Park writes nothing but romantic stories.”

“So, would you be interested if somebody else got the role and not the Jung twins?” Taehyung inquired suddenly and he was so proud that he asked about his side of the story because Jimin nodded in agreement.

“I would give it a try.”

Taehyung was taken aback by his confident answer since there wasn’t a hint of mockery, nor amusement in his voice. He was serious this time and it motioned him to test the waters.

“Actually, I−”

“Guys, get ready!” The coach’s exclamation cut him off and the ongoing conversations soon died down. “We start with six laps around the school,” he stated rather flatly.

Soon, the gym was filled with childish yammering and everyone started whining at the same time. The two friends weren’t the only ones who had no intention of jogging outside in January, right after the refreshing winter break.

“Ah, come on!” Jimin flung his arms in the air. “Outside? Again?”

“Coach wouldn’t seem to get bored of it...” Tae rolled his eyes and looked at his best friend as if they had been the most miserable duo on Earth.

Whatever the case might be, one thing gave hope for Taehyung. Maybe, just maybe, if he survived the six laps, he could encounter Aera and talk with her again. That was what gave him strength for the rest of the football practice.

The first science club meeting was anything but boring.

Seulgi confidently took the lead as she was the captain of the Scholastic Decathlon Team and everyone else followed her instructions well. The always talkative and joyful girl suddenly became a strict yet diligent teacher and the other students were her enthusiastic little pupils.

To tell the truth, Aera was shivering the whole time like a leaf falling from the branches because she was so thrilled to be there. She finally felt like she was a part of something – a part of a community. Not to mention that their community couldn’t have been better. There she was with Miss Science Goddess – Kang Seulgi –; a quiet yet gentle senior – Kim Joonmyun –; a bubbly chatterbox – Park Sooyoung –; the bookworm – Jeon Wonwoo –; a guy who nobody knew why was there – Yook Sungjae – and last but not least, Kim Namjoon whose IQ was 148, higher than anyone’s in the room and the majority of people in the whole world.

They all welcomed her affectionately but Namjoon was the one who even decided to keep her company while Seulgi was tutoring Sungjae. At first glance, he seemed quite intimidating and Aera had no idea how to approach him without embarrassing herself or receiving disgusted flinches. Nevertheless, Namjoon casually took the seat beside her and started a conversation with the slightly nervous girl.

“Hi! I’m Kim Namjoon.” He hopped down, a gummy smile casted on his face. “Sorry for just storming into here but that is actually my seat,” he mentioned as he pointed to where Aera was sitting. When she started clearing his things away, he fiercely protested.

“No, no, you don’t have to go! That’s not what I meant. You can stay!” He raised his arms in defeat. She hesitantly sank into her seat again, her fingers toying with the woollen of her favourite sweater. Gosh, she was such a sheepish little school girl when it came to meeting strangers! “You looked so surprised when I showed up, I thought it would be better if I explained why I sat beside you.”

“Oh, alright,” she hummed to herself and inwardly cursed herself for being awkward 75% of the time. She wasn’t awkward around Taehyung, though, so it couldn’t have been because of boys. She was merely shy until she felt comfortable around people. “I’m Ryu Aera,” she introduced herself and made an attempt to flash a friendly smile at the boy who immediately smiled back at her.

He seemed really friendly, proceeding to ask about her impressions about the school so far, and trying his best to make her comfortable. No wonder with Namjoon by her side, it wasn’t as difficult to talk as she had first thought that it would. He was an excellent companion and also a prominently intelligent guy. They solved plenty of tasks together, laughing and telling stories in between the practice tests and the more time they spent together, the more she got to know about him and the whole school. Seulgi was busy assisting others with their tasks, so when Namjoon broached up the winter musical subject, Aera couldn’t let her chance slip.

“Seulgi mentioned something about a Christmas play where all of you were involved. Was it also a musical directed by Mr. Park?” she inquired, cautious of asking about the basketball duo for the time being.

“Not really.” He shook his head with a low hum, playing with his pen absentmindedly. “It was a present for our teachers for Christmas but turned out to be a total catastrophe in the end, that’s why Mr. Park holds auditions nowadays. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself with putting on a show with people like me or the basketball team.”

“Why? Were the students that bad?” She knitted her eyebrows together in question because although she didn’t know about Namjoon’s acting skills, he assumed that if he tried his best, he could make the most out of everything. He seemed like that kind of diligent student.

“I didn’t do anything extraordinary. To be precise, I was a tree and so were Taehyung and Jimin but they also had to sing. Dancing and singing at the same time with their tree costumes on… well, it wasn’t an easy thing to do,” he paused for a moment, letting the story settle in her mind. Aera couldn’t help but giggle, imagining Taehyung and his friend in – probably junior high school student-styled – tree costumes, singing and goofing around the stage. They must have been a pretty spectacular sight. “They fell off stage and ended up breaking their arms,” he finished the story with a sympathetic smile on his face, leaving her with no choice but to be appalled.

“Oh my gosh, how horrible!” Aera croaked in horror. She obviously didn’t see such an unexpected ending coming.

“Well, it was horrible for them and after everyone got to know about their accident, they were the source of entertainment for the next few weeks.”

“It must have been hard for them,” she flinched disgustedly. She hated nothing more than people who believed that making fun of others was supposed to be their priority, and seemingly Namjoon was of the same opinion, so she decided to broach up a more pleasant topic without mentioning the Christmas play again.

However, now she had a better understanding of what had happened in the past, so when they bumped into Taehyung and Jimin while they were walking back to their homeroom after the science club meeting, she directed a bittersweet smile at Taehyung despite the fact that he probably didn’t know why she was displaying such a smile.

“Hey, guys! Hey, Aera!” Taehyung bounced in high spirits when they literally ran into each other and looked down at the blushing girl. His cocky smile was motioning her to give him a good slap for grinning so proudly but he was lucky because she loved that smile of his too much. And his boyish features, of course.

“Hi everyone! Hi, Aera!” Jimin came to a halt beside him and eyed the little group one by one. Then, he suddenly narrowed his eyes and looked at his best friend, totally baffled. “Aera?! Wait, what? Who’s Aera?” he stammered, shaking his head like he was awakening from a dream. His eyes almost popped out of his skull.

“Jimin, let me introduce you to Ryu Aera, our new classmate,” Taehyung explained and pointed to the girl who bobbed her head in a friendly manner. “Aera, he’s my best friend, Park Jimin,” he added, casually slinging his arm around his mate’s shoulder who finally puzzled up the words he had said.

“Oh, hi! Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” she smiled brightly, trying to leave a good impression on him. After all, he wasn’t just a guy, he was Taehyung’s friend. His best friend, to be precise.

There was an awkward silence after the spontaneous introduction, leaving everyone a bit embarrassed. Several seconds passed by with Taehyung and Aera gazing at each other, secretly exchanging messages without others knowing. It was odd how they had met with each other’s friends only now, but they weren’t late in any aspect.

They weren’t the only ones who met each other’s eyes though.

“Oh, Seulgi, you’re here, too,” Jimin pointed out the obvious and feigned a chuckle when she caught sight of the girl. Seulgi merely rolled her eyes in response, the same kind of denial coming back that she had displayed when she had been talking about Jimin to Aera.

“Jimin…” She let out an agitated sigh and stared back at the basketball player. She glared at him as if he had been the Devil himself while Jimin was donning his trademark eye-smile, much to her annoyance. He knew very well that she hated it, she hated him being like that, she hated that smirk on his face. Yet, he still did it because he enjoyed teasing her. Small wonder why they were tempted to bite off each other’s heads whenever they happened to be in the same room.

“Then, you must have joined the science club, right?” Jimin looked at Aera sideways, ignoring Seulgi on purpose. If anything, that seemed to annoy the other girl even more.

“Yes, I did,” she responded giddily, yet when he asked about it and she mentioned solving tasks with Namjoon, Taehyung sucked in a deep breath beside his best friend. Jimin immediately sensed the tension in the air and elbowed the other guy to get his attention. When he turned his head to look at him, Jimin had to get his grip together as his best friend’s stare was way too deadly. Oh boy, there was love in the air!

“That’s great! I’m happy to hear that,” Jimin laughed it off but it was only an act out of anxiety. His intention was way too obvious. “But we really need to go know. It was nice meeting you, though. I hope we’ll get to talk some more,” Jimin gave them a thumbs-up and shoved Taehyung to get as far from the duo as possible.

He didn’t want his best friend to seem like the jealous type, but he definitely was, because once he took interest in someone, he became very clingy and he wouldn’t let go easily. He might have been a calm and well-composed person in general but when it came to the matters of the heart, he could fight until the very end, and Jimin wanted him to seem like a good guy who wouldn’t start asking nosy questions or suspecting that Aera and Namjoon were already dating, so he needed to save Taehyung from embarrassing himself. As his best friend, it was his duty.

Thankfully, as days went by, Taehyung seemed more relaxed and reassured around the girl, and even though it meant that he was spending a bit more time with someone other than Jimin, Jimin didn’t mind because he was trying to occupy Seulgi on the other hand who still didn’t appreciate his behaviour and his frequent smirks, but he wouldn’t stop for god’s sake because it was so fun teasing her.

That’s how the four of them actually started becoming closer, so when the day came that literally shook the whole class, the four of them were actually walking side by side from their homeroom class to science class when a random classmate of them ran up to the little group, congratulating Taehyung on getting a role for the winter musical.

“Wait, what? Dude, when did you even audition?” Jimin exclaimed frantically, not believing his eyes until they got to the huge notice board in the hall near the entrance where announcements were posted including the casts for the musicals.

Taehyung exchanged a glance with Aera who was just as baffled as he was to see both of their names on the piece of paper, getting the roles that would allow them to sing the song they had previously sang for Jungkook and the empty theatre hall. Or so they had assumed that it had been empty, but they highly doubted that it had been Jungkook who had convinced Mr. Park to let them have the roles.

“I don’t know how it happened. We just sang Jungkook’s song with Aera, and I guess Mr. Park heard it and thought that we would want to be in the musical?” Taehyung concluded with a questioning tone, quite unsure of it himself.

He had never been part of an actual big musical like this because the Christmas play had been rehearsed during homeroom classes with his classmates but this… the notice board said that the practices would be from 5pm to 6pm every Tuesday and Thursday and there were only 15 people accepted as cast members, so it was definitely a bigger thing than the Christmas play.

Needless to say, the news got to the Jung twins fast enough, and the four of them managed to be at the notice board when they arrived, Eunji making a fuss right immediately.

“That was supposed to be my role, and now someone who isn’t familiar with the world of theatre dares to snatch that role from me, letting me have only a minor stage!” Eunji exclaimed frantically, fuming from the inside. She didn’t seem to care that Aera was beside her even though she dared to speak up in the next moment.

“Look, I didn’t want to snatch that role from you. It wasn’t so that you would have a minor role,” she tried to clarify herself, but the other girl wasn’t having any of her explanation. She turned to her, evident fury painting her cheeks burgundy red, her eyes darting diggers in her direction.

“I’ve never had a minor role in my whole life! My first ever role was also as Alice in Alice in Wonderland, so I hope you’re proud of yourself for making me have anything less than the lead role!” Eunji practically spitted the words by this time, and just as quickly as she had appeared, she left the scene, her furious aura lingering around her.

Hoseok let out a forced chuckle as a witness to the outburst of his sister’s, and turned to face the little group that accumulated around the notice board.

“Hey! Don’t take it to heart! The only thing my sister is good at is singing, so whenever someone is just slightly better than her or has a bigger role than her, she feels threatened. But it’s just how she is, it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it. Mr. Park probably chose you two for a good enough reason,” Hoseok explained patiently, his radiant smile in totally contrast to his sister’s sneer and disgusted frown.

Now what Taehyung had said about Hoseok and Eunji started to make sense; the way Eunji had always been the brighter star out of the two of them and how she had also made it seem so, and how Hoseok had been okay with all of this. Probably he had already gotten used to her frantic responses, so he knew how to handle such situations.

“I really didn’t mean to hurt her,” Aera emphasised with a bittersweet smile, feeling Taehyung’s light pat on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I know, and don’t even feel bad! I’m sure you would do great though. I’m rooting for you two!” Hoseok cheered them on, balling his hands into little fists that he threw into the air as if he was rooting for someone at a competition.

“Thanks, man,” Taehyung said gratefully and did some kind of a handshake with the boy as if they had been best friends forever. Maybe it was just a boy thing, but anyway, Aera watched their scene with fondness and she also thanked the other guy for his support before he could disappear after his sister.

Then came the questions from their friends as they proceeded walking to science class. How long had they been singing? What song they had sang to pass the audition? Were they really all in for the musical? Truth to be told, their responses were overwhelming at first, but they realized that it was still better than if they had been judgemental. It was quite the opposite though; they were supportive, just a tiny bit surprised. They had no idea how it had all happened, but they promised to help them manage their after school activities if they really wanted to be in the musical.

Taehyung exchanged a glance with Aera, elevated eyebrows asking for confirmation. She hesitated only for a moment before giving in and nodding. The boy gifted her with the widest boxy smile possible, continuing to smile to himself during the science class even though he personally hated science. But looking at the ever so diligent and enthusiastic Aera jotting down notes and the fact that they were actually going to be in a musical together as the main leads were enough for him to keep smiling.

The practices went surprisingly well even though neither of them had been prepared for what the senior year stress meant with their own after school activities - basketball practice for Taehyung and science club for Aera - and then the school musical on top of that. They soon realized that it would be a bit too much anyway, so they gave this musical one shot and decided that it would be this one for the winter musical, but they would definitely not apply for the spring musical, so that Eunji could have her last big moment before probably being accepted at an arts university or something like that.

Being supported by their friends, the other cast members apart from Eunji who still couldn’t believe that she hadn’t gotten the lead role this time, and also being praised by Mr. Park himself helped immensely to make them feel confident and comfortable on stage despite the fact that they still didn’t believe that they had such good voices. The choreographies weren’t that difficult either, so they could memorize them easily and have fun with the execution.

Though with someone like Taehyung as her duet partner, nothing could be boring. He had a goofy, almost childish personality, and he had just the right combination of mischievousness and seriousness when it came to the actual practices. His relaxed mindset and positive attitude towards making mistakes helped Aera’s anxiety melt away, and time went by quickly with him by her side. She didn’t even remember if she had ever met anyone as fun as Taehyung had been, and his laughter and joy were definitely contagious. She often found herself sillily smiling to herself randomly while she was reading a text or when she remembered something the boy had told her.

Seulgi caught on her behaviour quickly and couldn’t stop teasing her ever since, but needless to say, Aera wasn’t blind either, she could see the sparks between Jimin and Seulgi who had definitely grown closer when they were accompanying their friends to practices or when all four of them had lunch at the cafeteria together. It was just that Seulgi didn’t want to admit that Jimin might not have been the shallow-minded basketball player she had thought him out to be, and she hated admitting if she was wrong.

No wonder even Jungkook realized that the Taehyung and Aera were having feelings for each other, but he didn’t dare to ask about it, just smiled knowingly to himself whenever he was playing the piano and they were singing beside him.

Everything seemed to go smoothly, and by the time the day of the winter musical came, they had been fully prepared and fully supported, just a bit nervous. It was odd to see Taehyung in such a nervous state as well since she had never seen him like that before, and she couldn’t help the comment from slipping through her mouth.

“You’re cute when you’re nervous,” she remarked as they were warming up in the backstage, and Taehyung fixed his shirt for the fifth time already, looking for anything to dust off even though it was as clear as a shirt could be.

“You think so?” He raised an amused eyebrow in question, and no matter the fact that she was sure that she was blushing, she was glad to see that tension of his dissolving a bit due to her comment.

“I would never lie about something like that,” she admitted as she brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She was nervous in her own way, but it was mostly just nerve-wracking imagines going through her head and not her body reacting to the present situation. “Besides, I just want us to have fun just like we did at the karaoke party,” she added with a nostalgic smile, finding the same kind of memories in Taehyung’s eyes than she was currently replaying in her own head. “No matter what, I want us to feel like we did then. To enjoy it as much,” she wished oh so hopefully, eyes twinkling with happy little stars.

Taehyung looked back at the girl, lips curling upwards ever so gradually and beautifully. There was something very charming about the way his full and mellow lips were slowly raised into a smile; that kind of excitement, the anticipation, the hopefulness. Because what was going on inside was written outside on his face, and she was ever so thankful that she could read him so well.

“I wish for the same,” the boy agreed giddily, and before she could realize what he was doing, he stepped closer and put his arms around her body, embracing her petite figure and the magical moment of them going onto the stage a few moments later. They shared the same sentiment, the same hopes and the same mind-set regarding the musical, so they knew that this could only go well.

It indeed went well. Even though it was very much difficult to forget about the theatre hall being filled up with the audience because everyone had gotten to know that the captain of the Busan Seagulls would play the main role of this season’s winter musical, eventually, they both imagined that they were the only two people standing on stage and singing to each other - just like how it had felt at the karaoke night.

The melodies were floating in the sky, embracing them with warmth and the awakening of a feeling that they had tried to suppress, but now it came back with full force, injected into their bodies in the highest dose possible, making them shiver out of pleasure. It was a thrilling, unfamiliar yet pleasant feeling, beautiful like the sunset on the summer sky above the green meadows and the miracle of the first snow after a particularly gloomy autumn. They didn’t want to wake up from it because it felt so good, they just wanted to sink into this feeling and never wake up.

Maybe that’s why those minutes they had prepared for months went by so quickly, and maybe that’s why it was so weird to bow to the audience after they had finished. It didn’t feel real, it felt surreal, almost magical. Not to mention the hugs and the cheers they received after the show was over and even Seulgi hugged Jimin out of joy after their friends had successfully finished their stages.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to do that again?” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows teasingly, earning a smack in the chest from Seulgi. Though even the girl couldn’t deny that there was a lopsided smile in the corner of her lips, and neither Taehyung, nor Aera were as blind as to not see that this had been a step in their denied relationship.

“Okay, who wants to have some rice cake soup after this?” Taehyung hollered at their little group and everyone nodded in approval. Even Hoseok could be convinced to join them - of course, Eunji couldn’t be convinced -, and so with the rest of the cast, his best friend, Aera and Seulgi, they headed to their favourite tteokbokki place around school, celebrating the success of their one and only musical that they had wrapped up without any mistakes.

Even if they would not repeat it next time, it was still an unforgettable experience; a proof that even those who weren’t considered suitable for such things could try themselves out and prove everyone wrong. It was great to hear from other students that after this time they were brave enough to try out totally different things - let it be dancing, joining the choir, running for class president or even just baking - and that their example was motivating enough for them.

No one should have been limited to one single title or activity, everyone should have been allowed to experiment and see what they like or dislike. Maybe they won’t become worldwide famous and maybe they will give up in the end, but if their heart told them to do something, then people’s judgements and prejudices shouldn’t have held them back. Life was too short to not try out what they wanted to, and the opportunities were there, always there.

Maybe their stories wouldn’t end up like Taehyung and Aera’s who became official after the winter musical or maybe they wouldn’t be that couple who always fights but makes up aka Jimin and Seulgi, but every experience was precious, let it be good or bad, and sharing the experience with loved ones was even more precious.

And as for Taehyung and Aera, they could now keep this day as a memory in their hearts; a memory of high school and musicals.

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagines #bts fluff #taehyung #bts #taehyung fluff #bts comedy #taehyung comedy #v scenarios #v imagines #v fluff #v comedy #my story #restlessmaknae

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until-theend-oftheline · 5 years

Text

Trusting Fangirl

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Fangirl moment, surprises, Seb and YN being Seb and YN

Word Count: 1300ish

A/N: This is thought of as part of my LLL Universe, but if you don’t wanna read them all it can still be read as a one shot. It’s April 2015.

Betaed by: None - all mistakes are mine

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You took a last look in the mirror, running your hands over your dark blue cocktail dress. It had an illusion neckline. A flowery pattern covered your chest, an open back and the fitted frame shoved off your curves. Your half up-do and long earrings brought attention to your face only covered in a light make-up. You knew you could wear a paper bag and Sebastian would still think you looked good, but he had gone through a lot of trouble to fly his mom to Atlanta and plan the entire evening just for you. You wanted to look nice for him. You smiled at your reflection. A few months ago you would have thought it would be impossible for you to feel this good about yourself ever again, but with a lot of work and Sebastian’s undying devotion, you felt like yourself again. More importantly, you and Sebastian were happy and in love.

“Honey,” a knock sounded on the door, “are you ready soon?”

You took a deep breath, turning away from the mirror and headed across the room, opening the door. Sebastian was standing outside wearing a dark blue suit, a black shirt with the first couple of buttons open and his long hair hanging loose. He looked absolutely amazing and a small blush tinted his cheeks when your eyes met and you both realized you had been checking each other out.

“You look… wow,” Sebastian stuttered, causing you to laugh. You loved that even a few years in, you still had that effect on him. Honestly, he had the same effect on you and you couldn’t wait to spend the evening doing whatever he had planned.

“You don’t look half bad yourself Seba,” you smiled, stepping forward onto your toes, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you close and making you giggle when he chased your lips as you pulled back. He groaned playfully, giving you a small squeeze.

“Ready to go?” he asked quietly, leaning his forehead against yours and you smiled.

“Where’s our kid?” you asked, enjoying the closeness, trying to prolong it for as long as possible.

“Mom took her next door. Something about us needing a night alone,” Sebastian pulled a face and you couldn’t help but laugh. You knew Georgeta and there was a strong likelihood she had been way more graphic than that when kidnapping her granddaughter for the night.

“That does sound pretty good actually,” you grinned, pulling back a little running your hands down his arms. “Unless she managed to scar you for life,” you teased.

“No chance,” Sebastian pulled a face at you before leaning in to kiss you. You giggled against his lips but quickly allowed yourself to melt into him completely. It had taken a while for you to get back to you, but the past few months had been the best of your life.

“But after,” Sebastian broke the kiss making you chase his lips with a small whine. Sebastian laughed, pecking your lips before reaching out for your jacket on the bed and wrapped it around your shoulders. You smiled, reaching up to caress his jaw.

“I love you.”

“Love you too. Now come on,” Sebastian grinned, tugging your arm through his and leading you towards the door. He somewhat resembled an excited kid and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Where are we going?” you asked but Sebastian just shook his head and kissed your cheek, tugging a blindfold from his pocket.

“It’s a surprise,” he grinned at you and you rolled your eyes as he waved the blindfold before you.

“You can’t be serious?” you complained but when Sebastian just smiled at you wiggling his eyebrows, “Honey we are in Atlanta. You can drive me anywhere and I still won’t know where we are going.”

“Sweetheart. Just humor me please,” Sebastian begged, making you sigh.

You turned around to let him tie the thing around your eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Sebastian laughed, taking your hand and wrapping his free arm around your waist. “Trust me?”

“Always.”

***

You didn’t suffer in silence as Sebastian drove you through Atlanta. You didn’t know the city very well so it didn’t take more than a few turns for you to be completely lost and you didn’t like it.

“You know I hate surprises right?” You grumbled, causing Sebastian to laugh as he parked the car.

“No, you don’t,” you felt his hot breath against his neck as he had clearly leaned towards you. You shivered slightly. You had to admit that under different circumstances the blindfold would be intriguing.

“You’re just nosey. You love surprises when you have no idea they are coming,” Sebastian teased, pressing his lips against your neck, nibbling your ear. You moaned softly, hated the sound of the door as Sebastian jumped from the car, rushing to your side to help you out.

“Since I am being a very good girlfriend going along with this,” you grinned when he took your hand helping you out. “Think we can keep the blindfold.”

“Wow! Way too much information,” Chris' voice sounded and your cheeks turned bright red as Sebastian laughed and pulled the blindfold from your eyes.

“Surprise!!”

You were standing in the middle of the Civil War trailer park where a stage with a karaoke machine was set up at one side and a huge barbeque area at the other. Right before you stood your bandmates, a few of your friends, your sister and the entire cast of Sebastian’s movie.

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, looking much like a fish out of water, only for it to dry up completely when Robert Downey Jr stepped out from the crowd.

“Happy birthday, YN,” Robert smiled and your face turned even redder than the lobsters on the table to your left.

“I… You… Thank you, I mean… You know my name?” you rambled, causing Sebastian to chuckle next to you and wrap his arm around your waist.

Chris’ eyes widened at your reaction before a huge grin slid across his face. “You’re a fangirl!”

“Shut up Evans,” you instantly glared at him, blushing even harder when Robert laughed.

“I hope you are no more intimidated than I get a chance to do a duet with the birthday girl later,” Robert smiled, looking every bit as kind as you always imagined him to be and still you froze again.

“I… you wanna… with me?” you stammered and this time Rach was laughing along with Chris and a few other people in the crowd, making you blush even deeper. “I’m sorry Mr. Downey.”

You felt Sebastian’s arm tighten around your waist and somehow it calmed you, even if a small part of you still wanted to kill him for not having warned you about this.

“It would be an honor and call me Robert please,” Robert smiled, giving Sebastian a nod before turning around to wave the crowd towards the barbeque area. “Let’s give the lovebirds a bit of room to breath.” As the crowd started to spread Robert smiled back at the two of you, “see you both later.”

Sebastian gently turned you to face him as people started focusing on the food and the music began playing. “Too much?”

“Ye… No. You could have warned me,” you pouted slightly, but smiling when Sebastian leaned in to kiss it away.

“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” Sebastian teased, winking at you and you sighed wrapping your arms around his waist, letting him hug you close.

“Chris and Rach are never gonna let me live this down,” you sulked, and Sebastian chuckled giving you a squeeze.

“I’ll help you get them back,” Sebastian promised and you smiled against his chest, before looking up into blue eyes shining down at you. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” you reached up running your fingers through his hair, “I’m with you.”

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day.

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @sleepretreat @roxyspearing @jewels2876 @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @rumoured-whispers @becs-bunker @smoothdogsgirl @blacktithe7 @grace-for-sale @averyrogers83 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @sorenmarie87 @docharleythegeekqueen @erosbellarke @the-wayward-robot @super100012 @myfanficlibrarium @winchesters-favorite-girl @awkwardfangirl2014 @igotkatiepowers @dottirose @deathofmissjackson @miraclesoflove @badassbaker

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #lll

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quenie-azryneth · 4 years

Text

The A3! Song Tag Game

Since I'm all about the A3! songs, and I love em'.

You can add anything. Like art or the album cover of the song.

Be weird fam!

Main:

What is your first A3! song?

Spring has Come!

Spring has come is the reason why I discovered A3!

Cool, right?

What A3! song gives you musical chills(Frisson)?

Dandelion's yawn/ダンデライオンのあくび. Doesn't it make you feel relaxed and your lips just.... naturally curled up into a smile? I feel chills everytime. I honestly can't explain it properly because of the emotions that comes with the frisson. This song is the whole definition of when inspiration hits! ヾ(´︶`*)ﾉ♬

Shoutai/正体.

Honestly, the song that gives me the most chills is Shoutai. I have mixed feelings with this song, from beginning to the very last note, I just can't get enough of the chills. Especially Reo's last words ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡

What A3! song makes you want to dance?

Professional!!! I feel like doing a cat-walk on the runway. Not a model, but hey, I'm rockin' with the beat.

What A3! song you would sing in a karaoke?

If I'm going solo Oho, *evil grin*

(奇天烈ポエマー).

Kiteretsu Poemaa/Peculiar Poet

"Ahahahaha ( ﾟ∀ ﾟ)

Omachikane shinshi to shukujou no minasama

Watashi no deban ka ne? Ahahahaha

Ari to arayuru geijutsu no tame naraba

Issai gassai dakyou wa yurusarenai"

But if I'm going for duet:

(ワンダーランド・ア・ゴーゴー‼︎)

WANDAARANDO A GOOGOO!!/Wonderland A Go Go!!.

Wonderland A Go Go!! Is the way to go! And of course I'll be the Mad Hatter, it fits my description. Although we take turns. ╮(︶▽︶)╭

What A3! song gets you hyped up?

(夏って☆パリパリ！)

Summer means ☆ Party Party!/Natsu tte ☆ Pari Pari! of course! Summer Troupe's songs are the definition of hype, but Natsu tte ☆ Pari Pari! is a whole new level of hype!!! Guuyaba!!!!

What A3! song is the most relatable for you?

Gamer's HIGH

I may not as game addict as Itaru, but at some points I would shout "That's sooooo meeee!!!" (¯∇¯٥)

What A3! song makes you feel sadness?

(月虹上のアリア)

Aria on a Moonbow/Gekkoujou no Aria, I felt the pain of loss more than once, and it still hurts 'til this day. But like in the song someone comforts him and he knows he's not alone anymore.

What A3! song make you feel happiness?

To bloom...

It's more of a hopeful song than a happy song, but the harmony is so perfect and the sense of the characters moving forward makes me feel happy.

A3! song that could be a good anime op?

(未完成な空で)

In the Unfinished Sky/Mikansei na Sora de. It could be the perfect op "modelling type" animes, doncha think?

The heroes faced the runway with confidence and moving forward.

It's such a beautiful thought

Favourites:

What is your favourite A3! song?

My first A3! song: "Spring has come!". It reminds me of the first time I played A3!. And it'll always be in my heart. ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

What is your favourite Character song?

Gekkoujou no Aria. Periodt. ⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

What is your favourite Troupe theme song?

(Precious to us~僕らの季節)

Precious to us~Our bonds~/Precious to us~Bokura no kisetsu~. Ya'll know I'm all about the blending, I just can't get enough of the harmony. ヾ(´︶`*)ﾉ♬

What is your favourite Play theme song?

(進め!パイレーツ)

Onwards! Pirates/Susume! Pirates. Le earworm, a total earworm. Daisuke-san's(Misumi's Seiyuu) voice really shines and blends well with Yoshitaka-san(Muku's Seiyuu)

What is your favourite Mix Troupe theme song?

Growing pain. The bruh moment is when you realize that Itaru and Samatoki(Hypmic) have the same seiyuu(Asanuma-san).... and Growing pain is mostly just rap.... (OH MY GOSH!!!). And Chiharu-san's growl. （。＞ω＜）

What is your favourite A3der! song?

春夏秋冬☆Blooming. It's just that good. I love every lyric, every melody. Even my friends from school sang it without them realizing. Le earworm evades

I hope we can be friends ( ^ω^)

@godlyazami I figured if I followed you I just might be able to tag you. (to my surprise it worked Σ( ° △ °)) sorry I wasn't able to tag you before (¯∇¯٥)

@athela-3 told yah I'd find a way to tag you back (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

I summon thee: @beyondtheborderridiculous @sugarshiin @derireo @procrastinating-hws @just-tsuzuru @littlemissaesthetic @currywaifu @a3addict

You can always just ignore this, but I genuinely just want to know your favourite A3! songs and your thoughts about it, and if possible we can be friends. ( ^ω^)

And anyone who sees this can join the fun!

#j's tag game #Tag game

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inspired-by-the-music · 4 years

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For You: 4 O’Clock

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @jamies-kpop-reactions

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Chapter 11: The Name I Loved

Lei’s POV

“You know, Lei,” Lucas grumbled from his place in my closet, “there was a time in our lives when everything you owned was black!”

He stepped out to face me and Grandma. We were sitting on my bed and discussing— of all things— Taemin, who she agreed was the most beautiful person in the world after attending the Atlanta concert. Lucas looked so sad, eyes hooded and lips drawn into a tight frown, that I still couldn’t roll my eyes at his insistence to dress us both as if Mom’s annual Christmas party were a funeral.

Unable to scold Lucas for interrupting just as she was about to ask, winking, if Taemin and I were ‘friends’ off-stage, Grandma took in his appearance. Already dressed in his all-black suit, Lucas stared down at his shiny black shoes as Grandma delicately asked, “Why are you wearing black to a Christmas party anyway, sweetie?”

Given my general lack of support for Ten’s suggested dress code, I didn’t consider myself the best spokesperson. Lucas seemed to glance at me for permission to speak, so I just nodded my head and fixed my gaze on a hanging poster of Donghae.

I couldn’t take it down, and yet I couldn’t live comfortably with it staring at me like that. Donghae’s picture smiled so warmly that you could never guess that he carried the weight of rejection for over a decade. Is it okay for a picture to lie like that? Or was that smile genuine?

All I could wonder was whether Donghae would bring me another strawberry milkshake the next time I was at the studio. All I could wonder was whether those days were behind us— if I had appreciated them enough to be able to let them go without regret— as Lucas replied, “We’re in mourning.”

Lucas’s tone was so hollow, Grandma faced me with deepened concern, patting my knee to offer some comfort.

“Everything will be okay, Grandma.” I believed it because I had to. I believed it because I couldn’t stomach how Grandma was looking at me (like she had in her dining room). “My group members found out about Mom and Donghae, so they’re wearing black to express how sad it is that they’re not together.”

While Grandma blinked, eyebrows gathering together, and Lucas disappeared into my closet again, I repeated something that Kyungsoo said when I confided in him under Christmas lights. “For some people—” I thought of Lucas and Mark— “this is kind of like their first heartbreak, even if it isn’t really theirs. This demonstration may seem a little goofy to us, but—”

Maybe Mom and Donghae represented a fate that sort of awaited all of us as idols. Maybe the others were mourning what we already knew, what we didn’t like to acknowledge: we couldn’t love out loud. Many of our loves were worse than unrequited; they were unexpressed or unexplored because— how can you fall in love when someone’s always watching?

Maybe the others found their reflection in Mom and Donghae. Maybe that’s what empathy is.

I guess Grandma didn’t need me to explain that. Before I could even try, she was running to the door, saying, “I guess I better go change then!” I was a little disappointed; I liked Grandma’s and Yesung’s tradition of wearing ugly Christmas sweaters.

Perhaps feeling victorious at having gathered another person to his cause, Lucas emerged from my closet wearing a broad smile. I couldn’t be relieved to see his joyful expression because my eyes fell on the dress he was carrying.

It wasn’t black. It was red. The dress I wore to Donghae’s party.

“Lucas!” My breath caught in my throat as I sat, uncomfortably uptight, on the edge of my bed. “We have to burn that shit! It has bad juju!”

That was what I had been wearing the last time I saw Donghae— “maybe ever!” the dramatic voice in the back of my mind, which sounded too much like Lucas, screamed. That’s what I had been wearing when Donghae forced his way past Heechul into the house to confront Mom. That’s what I had been wearing when I ran up the stairs, away from their argument. That’s what I had been wearing when Mom yelled the world-reforming truth that she was the idol who never debuted.

I didn’t want to know what terrible fate would befall the Christmas party if I wore that cursed dress.

But Lucas shook his head and argued, “This is what you wore when you found Taemin in your garden!”

Although I must have thought this once, twice, or every night on tour when I fell asleep in his arms, I was winded by the realization that what I considered the worst night of my life doubled as the beginning of a beautiful chapter: the time when Taemin and I were in love.

So I wore that red dress. Not because Lucas thought it would bring Mom and Donghae together the way it brought me and Taemin together. Not because Lucas reasoned with a smirk, “You looked hot in this! And nobody really got to appreciate it because you left Donghae’s party early!” But because I wanted to see if it still fit.

I don’t mean that literally. I hadn’t drastically gained weight during those two months of touring in America or anything. I just felt so different than I had been the last time I wore that dress. Wearing it again seemed like a good way to measure my growth.

When I looked in the mirror, though, I didn’t look all that different. My hair was still short. Lucas had gone with me to get it trimmed before meeting Kyungsoo at the Mall. My eyes were still as wide and childlike as they had been when I debuted. My cheeks— almost permanently full and rosy— still gave me the appearance of someone wandering between childhood and adulthood.

But there was no longer anything forced in my smile, painted with ruby lipstick. My hands were not balled into resigned fists pinned at my sides. I was not at all anxious about having people from work— the members of SuperM— in my home for a party as I had been every year prior. I was different, even if I couldn’t see it.

I wasn’t willing to look back on the past 21 years of my life and decide that I had never known happiness. There was something in me that refused to attribute this warmth in my chest— this total internal transformation— to Taemin. Maybe I was afraid that by doing so, I would give him the power to take that warmth away with him if ever he left my side.

No. I wasn’t afraid of Taemin. I wasn’t afraid of the rising sun. It was impossible to deny that the seeds of self-discovery and self-love had been planted the night of Donghae’s party. They had been planted that night I watched the moon in the garden. I just didn’t know who was more responsible for changing me— Mom by giving me the truth or Taemin by giving me his love.

But I don’t know that it really matters. What matters is that there was no room in my heart to mourn what could have been. Maybe this made me selfish (or maybe it didn’t), but I was too happy with what was to despair on behalf of Mom and Donghae.

I let my guard down— no, I allowed Taemin to break my guard down, and he did it carefully and quickly and painlessly— and maybe that’s why I was so hurt by what happened at the party. Then again, maybe I would have been hurt even with all of my defenses in place. Who knows?

Super Junior was a constant in my life, and they proved it by attending the Christmas party yearly. When I descended the staircase, I smiled at the fact that the first floor of my home was filled mostly by chaotic uncles who would drop everything to try to make me laugh.

In the kitchen, Shindong and Leeteuk were constructing a gingerbread village. Although their only audience was Lucas and Mark— wearing their black suits— Leeteuk narrated every action as if he were starring in an international broadcast.

Yesung, Kyuhyun, and Siwon monopolized the karaoke machine in the living room. They performed for Ten and Taeyong, who sat on opposite ends of a couch. Ten must have been angry because Taeyong wore a glittering red jacket that distracted from SuperM’s public mourning.

As usual, Heechul was late. I’m not sure whether I was supposed to hope Donghae and Eunhyuk would arrive with him, but I held that hope quietly in the corner of my mind.

I hadn’t found Mom, Taemin, Kai, or Baekhyun before Siwon abandoned his duet with Kyuhyun— a comedic rendition of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”— to chase me. Longer than Lucas, Siwon lived to ruin my hair.

“Merry Christmas!” Siwon cheered in my ear before Kyuhyun and Yesung screamed for him to return to the living room.

As soon as Siwon turned away, I ran to hide in the corner of the dining room with Ryeowook (Wookie) and Grandma, who were giggling about who knows what over their fragile cups of tea.

“Here, Lei.” Wookie beamed as he lifted the teapot— adorned with carefully painted red roses— to pour into the smallest cup, which he handed to me. My heart swelled at this familiar scene from my childhood when Wookie delicately clinked his cup against mine, winking as he extended his pinky.

While I smiled into my drink, Wookie asked, “So how are you? Did you have the time of your life in America?”

“Yeah,” Grandma chimed, setting her cup onto its saucer. “Did anything fun happen in America?”

Grandma didn’t have to say anything specific to remind me of her earlier fascination with Taemin. She only wiggled her eyebrows, and I laughed so hard that tea shot out of my nose, leaving my face burning with each breath long after I put the cup down on the table.

Surprised, confused, and amused by my onslaught of giggles and Grandma’s all-knowing chuckles, Wookie’s gaze flickered between us. He smiled politely. “I’ll go get napkins.”

But before Wookie could stand, Grandma shook her head. “No need.”

There was most certainly a need, I wanted to argue as the warm beverage trailed down my chin. I bit my tongue, however, when (after following Grandma’s gaze) I saw that Taemin was filling the doorway bridging the dining room to the kitchen.

I don’t know if I was more embarrassed by the fact that Taemin had apparently watched me snort tea or how goofily he danced over to me as Siwon’s and Kyuhyun’s duet started from the top. My heart fluttered so violently at the first sight of Taemin since returning home that I could barely stand looking at him. Still, I definitely couldn’t stand looking away.

After gratefully accepting a napkin to wipe my face, careful not to smear my makeup, I couldn’t stop staring at Taemin. Admiring him. Trying to commit every detail of him to memory. Like the other members of SuperM, most of Taemin’s attire was black except for his festive red suspenders and matching tie.

“Look!” Taemin giggled and leaned over my chair to drape his tie over the sleeve of my dress. “We match!”

As if we were back in one of our rooms in America, as if Grandma and Wookie weren’t watching us (after sharing a glance and taking long sips of tea)— Taemin pursed his lips and ran his thumb over my earring, a simple silver moon. “This is pretty.”

Blushing at the sensation of his breath against my skin, I mumbled, “I’m glad you think so.”

Was it really okay for him to be so close to me? We were among family— or at least I was— but I felt more embarrassed than I imagined I might have felt in a room full of strangers. All those years, I liked to remind people that I wasn’t a child; yet, I shrank at the thought of Wookie or Grandma or anybody else that I had known since youth seeing me as an adult.

Before Taemin could show me any more affection and darken my blush, Yesung walked in from the living room, arms outstretched and expecting a hug. Perhaps flinching away from Taemin, I ran to greet Yesung, smiling.

“Merry Christmas, Yesung! Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite?”

“Only every day since we met!” Yesung smiled and patted my arm. He had always been receptive to that kind of praise.

When I turned toward the table, not quite ready to return to my seat, Taemin had already settled into it. Maybe he had already introduced himself to Grandma.

Yesung was asking if I remembered how I used to fight with other Super Junior members if they so much as looked at him the wrong way— as if I wouldn’t still throw punches on his behalf— when Grandma reached across the table to run her fingers along the ribbon tied to Taemin’s wrist. The sky blue didn’t quite match his red and black ensemble, so it stood out more than ever.

Ever the charmer, Taemin placed his hand over Grandma’s and gave her a dazzling smile. With their eyes, they shared a conversation that I couldn’t quite understand until Taemin chirped, “It was a gift.”

My heart swelled with affection when Taemin met my eyes. I don’t know what I would have done— maybe I would have exploded from joy— had Yesung not distracted me by saying, “I got you the best present, Lei! Why don’t you go get it from under the tree?”

Wookie encouraged, “Go get my gift too, Lei!”

Wookie could have deceived me with his smile, but I gathered from how Yesung fixed narrowed eyes on Taemin that they caught on to our relationship. Whatever they had to say to him (probably the same speech they gave Lucas years ago when we first met) couldn’t have been said in front of me.

I knew better than to try (and fail) to talk Yesung out of protective mode, so I nodded and obediently walked to the Christmas tree where I found Baekhyun plucking candy canes from the branches.

“Oh!” He smiled brightly, the lights reflecting in his eyes. “Is it time for presents already?”

“Baekhyun!” Taking his suddenly black tresses between my fingers, I cried, “What did you do to your hair?” I shouldn’t have been shocked. We changed our hair all the time.

“You don’t like it?” Baekhyun pouted and plucked a candy cane from his mouth. “Well, I guess I can’t do everything to impress you, Lei. This is a part of my mourning exercises.”

Before I could respond, Baekhyun offered me one of his candy canes. “Here. I’ll give you your real gift when Sehun gets here.”

“Sehun?” My heart dropped. I opened my mouth to complain that I didn’t want Sehun to come or, at least, to ask why he would show up without an invitation, but a knock sounded at the door.

Baekhyun advised, turning back to the tree as he stuffed the peppermint back into his mouth, “You probably wanna get that, hm?”

Beyond words, I was grateful to Baekhyun for warning me of what I would find behind the door: Oh Sehun wearing an all-black suit and carrying two presents. It was probably a little rude to greet him with the question, “What are you doing here?” but I couldn’t keep the words from falling out of my mouth.

Sehun rolled his eyes. “Merry Christmas to you too.”

Our unity against Baekhyun had dissolved. Leaning against the door frame, frowning at the line that formed between Sehun’s eyebrows, I guessed I was disappointed.

“Would you let me in, please? It’s freezing out here!”

Snowflakes were falling all around him. If he weren’t already on my nerves— if he could just smile instead of scowling— the sight would have been worthy of a photograph.

Realizing that I wouldn’t stand aside until he answered my question, Sehun admitted, voice a puff of white air in the winter night, “I’m here to represent Donghae and Eunhyuk, not because I want to spend Christmas arguing with you—”

Oh. So Donghae wasn’t coming after all. So this would be the first Christmas that we wouldn’t drink hot chocolate together or make a snowman family in the front yard or watch Christmas movies until I fell asleep on the couch.

Oh. Tears gathered in my eyes, knowing that this crumbling, heart-stopping knowledge that life was different— and not only in good ways— occurred to Donghae when Mom was absent from his party.

Oh. So that’s why Donghae had been able to justify pushing past Heechul and calling me in the middle of the night to talk to Mom. He was either trying to turn time back to the days we knew were happy or forward to the days when he and Mom could be together. It was impossible. Fruitless. But I didn’t fault him for trying.

Trying to swallow the lump in my throat, wiping my eyes as I stood aside for Sehun to enter with his bad news, I think he tried to apologize. I’m not sure because I was too focused on Baekhyun, who appeared before me, smiling brightly with that candy cane still dangling out of his mouth and muffling his voice.

“Come on, Lei.” He nodded down to the gifts in his hands. “Yesung, Ryeowook, and I want you to open your presents.”

Thinking only that I had to find Mom to tell her gently that Donghae wasn’t coming (if she didn’t already know), I shook my head, but Baekhyun forced the brightly wrapped packages into my arms. He slung an arm around my shoulders and ushered me away from Sehun, into the dining room.

I was only slightly relieved that Sehun didn’t follow.

The smiles Grandma, Taemin, Wookie, and Yesung greeted me with faltered when they noticed the look on my face. I hadn’t found my smile yet, even with Baekhyun playfully nudging me in the ribs.

Rising from his seat with hands balled into fists, Yesung demanded, “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head and forced a smile. “Nothing—” My gaze drifted out the window— “it’s just— snow makes me cry.”

The lie wasn’t especially convincing, but at least Yesung sat down.

I sat only when Taemin stood, poorly masking his concern, to offer the seat he had stolen earlier. Rather than relocating to one of the many empty chairs, Taemin remained behind me, leaning against the back of my chair to watch me open the first gift Baekhyun dropped onto my lap. I kind of grinned, realizing that whatever Yesung and Wookie said hadn’t scared Taemin away.

To me, it seemed awkward that so many people watched as I peeled back the green wrapping on Wookie’s gift, but I guess that people watching me was just business as usual. Mark and Lucas— bonding in their shared grief— walked in from the kitchen, asking, “When was somebody gonna tell us it was time to watch Lei open presents?”

Feeling like I was trapped in a bizarre nightmare, I blinked until my eyes settled on Wookie’s gift: a beautiful blue teacup ornament. My fingers traced along the painted flower petals, cold to the touch. Wookie met my tear-filled expression with a smile that made my heart swell. Everyone— most loudly, Yesung and Baekhyun— cooed when I wiped my eyes and muttered my thanks.

Pointing at the big box wrapped in bright red paper, Yesung instructed, “Open mine next!” Before I had even pulled out each record— one by Tiffany, one by Britney Spears, and one by the Backstreet Boys— Yesung said, “Don’t let me forget to send you the videos I got of each artist signing those and talking about how much they love your music!”

I wasn’t quite shocked because Yesung always got the best gifts, but I was beyond flattered that he had gone to such lengths to make me smile. As I beamed at Yesung, the ache in my chest caused by Donghae’s absence subsiding first with Wookie’s smile and then with Yesung’s enthusiastic thumbs up, Mark mumbled to Lucas, “Does this mean that my gift for Lei’s debut anniversary has finally been outdone?”

Lucas shrugged, grinning. “It’s hard to tell. Lei loves Jaemin—” Taemin breathed heavily behind me, and I shorted at the memory of his tantrum— “but Nick Carter, one of the Backstreet Boys, is like Lei’s ultimate pop icon crush.”

Taemin sat on the arm of my chair to admire my gifts— especially the album signed by Nick Carter— and Baekhyun yelled, “Where the hell is Sehun? I want you—” Looking at me, he chewed through the remainder of his candy cane— “to open our gift now!”

Summoned either by his name, or the dread swelling in my gut, or the rolling of my eyes, Sehun walked in from the kitchen. “Lei—”

Sehun’s smirk faltered as his eyes fell on Taemin, whose shoulder was flush against mine.

For years, I dreamed of wiping the smirk from his face; then, once I learned how to, I tried to use my new power sparingly. That moment when Sehun forced his eyes away from Taemin to look at me, something very much like pain darkening his eyes, I squirmed at the thought that maybe he really did like me.

Maybe it had been a game at the start. Maybe I had just been something fun to chase and tease. But to some degree, his feelings must have been sincere. Otherwise, a faint blush wouldn’t have painted his cheeks. He wouldn’t have had to swallow some lump in his throat before forcing himself to continue, “Don’t thank me too much if you like this.”

Sehun snatched the silver-wrapped box from Baekhyun and forced it into my hands without meeting my eyes. “Baekhyun paid for half of it, so make sure you thank him too.”

Knowing that Baekhyun and Sehun had joined forces had me on edge before this weird tension wedged between me and Sehun. I guess there had always been some tension between us; when I thought about it, I couldn’t clearly remember a moment that we had gotten along. I guess his sudden refusal or inability to look at me was just the fulfillment of years of— of whatever we were doing.

I hated Sehun for ruining Christmas before he stood outside my door to say that Donghae wasn’t coming. I hated Sehun for staring down at the gift like that, lips tight in a frown. Except I guess I didn’t really hate him. Nobody wishes for someone they hate to just smile already.

Taemin, still sitting on the arm of my chair, almost sitting in my lap, draped an arm around my shoulder. With a gentle smile and a nod, he reminded me to open the gift.

It was an intricately woven mistletoe crown. A dreaded memory buried too deep, too terrible to describe— the memory some part of me relived whenever Sehun looked at me and teased me— rose to the surface of my mind and stained my face scarlet.

I glared at Sehun, wondering why the hell he would get me something like that, but he didn’t notice. His widened eyes were fixed on the crown. He didn’t blink. Evidently, Baekhyun had been the brains behind this operation, and Sehun had only funded it.

Again, we were united in annoyance toward Baekhyun. I wasn’t even happy about that because it had never been clearer to me that Sehun and I— whatever we were— were not friends.

When I tore my burning eyes away from Sehun, unsure of what to say, I caught the briefest glimpse of Mom dropping something onto the kitchen counter, gasping, before running up the stairs. It always amazed me how quickly she could move in those heels without tripping over the hem of her pantsuit— this time a deep shade of green.

This time, I was stunned by the realization that nobody had been with her in the kitchen. Everyone was either too busy singing and laughing in the living room or watching me open presents. Mom was alone. Always alone.

Cursing Heechul for being late, I started to rise to my feet only to be immobilized by Taemin’s voice. “Oh,” he hummed into my ear as he lifted the mistletoe from its box. “It’s like a little wreath. Pretty.”

In Taemin’s hands, I thought as he admired the mistletoe, perhaps unaware that I was admiring him, it was pretty.

Skipping over and snatching the mistletoe from Taemin to drop it onto my head unceremoniously, Baekhyun corrected, “It’s a crown!”

I’m not sure what led Sehun to try to kiss me, but I believe that Baekhyun must have instigated it because everything is a joke to them.

One second, I was stealing indiscreet glances into the kitchen, wondering what Mom had dropped onto the counter and why it made her gasp, wondering how I would comfort her if it was related to Donghae (as I suspected) when some invisible force struck my heart and filled my eyes with tears every time I thought of him. The next, I was flinching as Lucas screamed “No!” and Sehun’s puckered lips inched closer to mine, agape in utter shock.

Taemin yanked my chair back so quickly that I thought I was going to tumble face-first onto the hardwood floor. The room erupted into shrieks and giggles— the giggles belonging mostly to Mark and Baekhyun— as Taemin wedged his face between mine and Sehun’s.

I don’t know why Taemin decided to intercept Sehun’s kiss when he could have just kissed me. On the one hand, I was grateful that our first kiss wouldn’t be the punchline to Baekhyun’s stupid mistletoe joke gift. Still, as I walked away, my entire being burned with annoyance— no, numb anger— that Sehun stole my first kiss.

From the kitchen, I heard Sehun’s gagging, Taemin’s goofy gasping laughter, Baekhyun’s maniacal cackling, and Yesung’s roar, “What the hell is going on around here?”

Maybe I could have found the humor in the situation had I not first found what Mom abandoned on the counter, still messy from crumbs, candy, and frosting that built Shindong’s and Leeteuk’s gingerbread village: a photograph of all of us— me, Mom, and Super Junior— shortly after Kyuhyun’s addition to the group.

It must have been Donghae’s birthday. We all wore party hats while he wore an obnoxiously large pin that read: Birthday Boy. The picture must have been taken before Donghae’s annual confession; everyone was smiling, even Mom (who usually preferred a closed mouth half-grin). We all looked so young, especially me, wearing a ruffly blue dress, holding a teacup that matched Wookie’s, standing between Mom and Donghae, and staring at Yesung instead of whoever held the camera.

My heart bled with the realization that we would never live in that moment again. It was in the past. And I don’t know that any of us appreciated it enough when it was our present.

Once, I read that you only appreciate the value of a moment once it is a memory. That’s the kind of sentiment that I want to disagree with. The fear that it may be true inspired me to try to form myself into a person who seizes the day, who lives for right now, but I can’t quite do it. I can’t quite disagree with the truth.

Let me be clear: there was never a day that I didn’t love Donghae. Never a day since he greeted me that first time with his warm smile (until those short-lived days of discomfort) that I hadn’t associated Donghae with fondness and security. Yet, I had never thought clearly or deeply about him— I hadn’t really seen him until I noticed his absence, until I felt him drifting away.

I hate that this is the truth: I never knew how much I loved Donghae until I couldn’t call to tell him.

It didn’t matter if he already knew. It didn’t matter that I would have gotten too shy or scared or embarrassed to tell him everything. It didn’t matter that I would always hold something back. I climbed the stairs, heavy with regret, clutching the picture frame against my chest.

I wasn’t crying, I think, because some part of me expected to find Mom sobbing on her bed, face pressed into a pillow. The light was off, and I didn’t dare illuminate what I didn’t want to see— what I heard well enough. Stiff, silent, and awkward, I sat on the edge of the bed, tracing my fingertips along the elegant pattern on Mom’s silky pink comforter.

Of course, I knew that I couldn’t bring the photograph back to life. I knew that there was no merit in dreaming of turning back the hands of time, but I couldn’t shake the thought that if I could go back, I could lessen these present-tense pains. It didn’t make sense.

How might things have been different had I known at age six or seven that Mom was a former trainee? Would I have looked at Donghae differently if I had known all that time that he wanted Mom to be in love with him? Had I known, would I have made all the decisions and formed all the relationships that led me to Taemin in the garden under the moonlight?

I didn’t know. I don’t know.

There was immense discomfort in realizing that I could never know. There was discomfort in believing, even as my mother moved to sob in my lap, that this was still the best version of the universe because this was where Taemin loved me.

There was something bittersweet in accepting that even if this wasn’t the best timeline, even if this wasn’t the best reality, we couldn’t choose where we were born. I hadn’t chosen for life to be this way. There was nothing I could do to change our circumstances; we would have to learn to be happy because of or despite them.

Mom said, “I understand that he—” I understood ‘he’ to mean Donghae— “doesn’t want to see me anymore. Outside of work, that’s his right.” Sitting upright, Mom revealed a small handwritten note in her palm. “But did he really have to send Sehun over here with that picture I gave him for his birthday and this note?”

Initially, my eyes fixated on the red thread bracelet on her wrist, trailing down closer to her elbow. I had never seen it (or anything like it) before. Swallowing the desire to ask where she had gotten the bracelet, I took the note and squinted to read the scrawled writing in the dark.

It’s cruelty was simple. “Choose.”

My brow quivered. Choose what? To be with Donghae or not to be? It seemed to me that Mom made her choice. Regardless of some unspoken attraction to Donghae, she had chosen for fifteen years not to pursue that relationship.

Maybe I just didn’t understand what might compel someone to beg for love, but I thought that at this point, Donghae was prolonging everyone’s misery. Maybe he just couldn’t imagine how difficult it was for Mom to reject him. Maybe the line between sorrow and anger, for me, had become too blurred in the recent chaos.

I was overwhelmed by empathy for Donghae and for Mom. While I couldn’t divorce what I felt for one from what I felt for the other, I would have exploded from acknowledging both at the same time. Maybe because she was the one I understood better, maybe because she was the one crying before me, maybe because she had been with me longer, or maybe just because she was my Mom, the protective rage I felt on her behalf in that moment overshadowed every other emotion I had experienced in my entire life.

I would have had to leave even if she hadn’t calmly instructed, “Go back to the party, Lei. Go have fun with your friends.” Maybe it’s selfish that I couldn’t work through my discomfort to be with her, but I couldn’t stand Mom’s tears.

Even with her permission, I couldn’t quite move. I couldn’t quite leave her until she laid back on her pillow and added, “I just need some time alone to collect myself. I’ll be down soon.”

Spurred by her encouragement, I left Mom’s room, but I didn’t return to the party. Clenching that stupid note in my fist, crinkling the lettering beyond recognition, and carrying the picture frame down at my side, I stormed into my bedroom.

With little consideration of the fact that glass breaks, I slammed the picture face down onto the vanity that once housed the ribbon now donned on Taemin’s wrist. It’s only though some miracle that the metal frame didn’t shatter the mirror.

The glass from the picture frame littered the vanity, crystallized around the vase of flowers Taemin gave me for my debut anniversary (where I had also placed his wilting rose from the garden), spilled onto the pale hardwood floor. I couldn’t even care because all I saw was Donghae’s smiling poster. All I knew was that I couldn’t have that anymore, couldn’t look at it anymore, couldn’t let it look at me for another second.

A part of me that wasn’t satisfied with having destroyed only the picture frame wanted to rip the poster straight down the middle. It was only the tiniest fragment of my mind, but it was so loud that I—

I almost couldn’t hear that most of me sobbed at having shattered something so fragile and precious in a fit of rage, no matter how justified. Most of me wanted to run back to the vanity and try in vain to fit the pieces of glass back together, knowing well that it would never work— the frame would never be whole again, and I would only stain the photograph red with my blood. I just wanted to try to fix it because nobody wants to believe that they have broken something beyond repair.

I didn’t race to the vanity, though. Trying (and failing) to steady my trembling hands, I plucked from the sky-blue painted walls each pin supporting Donghae’s poster. Although I let the pins hit the floor, I caught the poster in my arms just as Taemin filled the doorway behind me and asked, “Why are you taking Donghae’s poster down?”

It wasn’t the first time Taemin saw me cry. Objectively, that night wasn’t any worse than the night in the garden. This time, I wasn’t falling apart. Maybe you can’t fall apart once you know who you are.

When Taemin walked into my room and sat on my bed, looking at me with concern that more closely resembled the curiosity he always reserved for me, I couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

Holding the poster out to him because I didn’t know what to do with it anymore, I explained that it was my first Christmas without Donghae, who returned an old photograph of us with that note I left crumbled on my vanity.

I mumbled, covering my eyes with my hands, “It just hurts to look at him. I don’t want to think about these painful things while looking at him. I don’t want—”

Through my shallow sobs, I couldn't explain that I didn't want the actions of Donghae today to define the Donghae of yesterday, of every day past. Maybe I didn’t know the words to describe my fear that these feelings of rage, bewilderment, and the all-encompassing sense of having been abandoned by another father would permanently taint what I hoped beyond all hopes could be salvaged.

After folding the poster and laying it gently against my pillow, Taemin crossed the distance between us, enveloped me in his arms, and promised again and again— until the words almost lost all meaning— “It will be okay. Everything will be okay.”

I wanted to believe Taemin and feel content to stay in his arms, but I had to do something with the rage bubbling in my gut. I couldn’t express that I was tired of waiting for the day when everything would feel okay. Apologizing, I untangled myself from his arms and barreled down the stairs into the party that was as jovial as it had been when Mom first left to mend her own broken heart.

The goal had been to find Lucas. Feeling better always started with Lucas.

The problem was that I found Sehun first, back pressed to the wall separating the dining room from the living room.

My intentions hadn’t been confrontational or argumentative at first. Figuring that Sehun already knew about Donghae’s gifts as the person who brought them, I thought it was convenient that I wouldn’t have to explain much of the story. Besides, if my temper got the best of me, I didn’t mind having Sehun as a witness; I didn’t care what he thought of me.

Maybe I believed that a tantrum wouldn’t hurt him. Maybe, at least in that moment, I didn’t care if I hurt him because— I acknowledged, glare hardening as he looked at me— Sehun helped hurt Mom.

Quietly, hoping not to attract attention, I said, “I need to talk to you.”

Sehun blinked at me. If he saw that I was upset and had any desire to comfort me, he didn’t act like it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he mumbled, “What’s wrong with you? Can’t find your boyfriend?”

My face burned. “I don’t have time for your games.” Aware that people— namely, Baekhyun, from his place on the couch— were watching us, purely wanting to take the conversation somewhere a little more private, I grabbed around Sehun’s black tie and pulled him out the front door.

The comfort provided by his lack of protest was short lived. The moment I closed the door, shutting us out in the cold nighttime snowfall on the front porch, Sehun tsked, “Your boyfriend really isn’t gonna like that, Lei. You’re a little new to love, so I’ll give you a tip: Don’t grab other guys by the tie.”

I rolled my eyes as Sehun straightened his tie, and, although it was none of his business, I argued, “Taemin is not—”

“Ah,” Sehun wagged a mocking ginger, “I never said a name. You did. So there is something going on there. God—” he shouted at the sky so loudly that anyone in the house could have heard— “I thought you would only look at me like that!”

I gasped at Sehun’s allegation that I had ever felt anything toward him that compared to my love for Taemin.

Maybe— maybe if you promise never to tell anyone, I’ll admit that once upon a time, Sehun made my heart flutter in a way that didn’t make me want to slap him across the face. Maybe I’ll admit in a quiet whisper that over years, he had broken my heart little by little until the Christmas party two years ago when he shattered every illusion I ever harbored about him and dating and boys in general under the stupid mistletoe in a corner of my mother’s house.

Sometimes, I almost convinced myself that Sehun never meant to hurt me. That almost helped me look at him. Often, I tried to believe that the Sehun under the mistletoe wasn’t the Sehun before me, but Sehun (present-tense) was raising his eyebrows, provoking me further on a night when I needed nothing other than a friend. Sehun then was the same person who hurt me on Christmas with little effort.

At once crumbling under the weight of the mistletoe crown I had forgotten was on my head, I snatched it off, eyes watering at the sharp pain of it yanking at my hair. Tossing the crown onto the rocking chair in the corner of the porch, I wondered what good I imagined would come from leaving sweet, loving Taemin in my bedroom.

I wondered what good I imagined would come from talking to Sehun, who remarked, “I guess you’ve really grown up then, huh?”

His smirk annoyed me. “I wish you would,” I muttered, unable to look at him for more than a second at a time. “Really, I wish you hadn’t even come.”

It wasn’t fair. I dragged him outside. What did I expect him to say or do to make things better? What right did I have to lose my temper when I should have known he would do little other than tease me? Stupid. I never should have left my room.

Reaching out for my arm, Sehun argued, “You don’t mean that. You love seeing—”

His touch ignited my anger, temporarily numbing my sympathy for him. Wrenching my arm out of his grasp, I tried to burn Sehun with my gaze. “No, I don’t.” He shrank back, furrowed his brow, and I swallowed my remorse to bark, “It’s one thing to tease me. I don’t like it, but I don’t really expect much else from you. One day, I won’t give a shit what you say. And until then— well— I guess I’ve never been able to stay mad even though you make a fool of me again and again. But I will never forgive you for what you’ve done today.”

When I turned away and reached for the frozen doorknob, wincing as its chill bit through my fingertips, Sehun grabbed me again. He spun me around and lowered his face so it was level with mine, so I couldn’t look away as he asked, “What is wrong with you?”

For a second, or maybe less, I thought he was being serious until he continued, “Are you mad because your boyfriend kissed me? I didn’t ask him to or anything, so—”

“Is everything a joke to you?” There were no traces of humor in Sehun’s features, but I asked anyway. “Why the hell would I care if Taemin kisses you?”

Sighing as I swatted his hands away, Sehun shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pants’ pockets. “I don’t know. You shouldn’t be upset. You were a much better—”

“You’re a real jerk, you know that?” Too furious to stomach looking at him, yet too furious to look away, I stared right into Sehun’s eyes, repulsed by his poorly stifled chuckle as I challenged, “It’s not enough that you ruined Mom’s night, so now you’re bringing up how you ruined my Christmas a couple years ago?”

Sehun stuttered, “I— I ruined—” He coughed. “What’s wrong with your mom?” Genuine concern flickered through Sehun’s eyes before he claimed, “I didn’t do anything to—”

“Oh, no, you just delivered the cruelest gift on Donghae’s behalf, right? Because you can’t resist the opportunity to make me miserable—”

“You’re right!” Sehun’s face flushed red. “My entire world revolves around you! I only came here tonight because I wanted to see you! God only knows why when you always treat me like dirt under your shoes.”

Of course I didn’t quite believe him, but Sehun never looked like a liar. He never sounded like a liar. There was some part of me that had existed for years that always wanted to believe him.

Dropping his hold on me, Sehun huffed, “Maybe if I’d known that Taemin would be hanging all over you like a lovesick puppy or some shit—”

I spoke through my teeth. “Stop talking about Taemin.”

Sehun cut his eyes from me and ran a rough hand through his hair. “Whatever. Keep denying that there’s something going on with him—”

“What do you want from me, Sehun?”

Did he want me to tell him about the ribbon and the night and the garden and all the nights on tour? Too bad. I would never trust him with anything so fragile and precious and dear to my heart. It was mine, and he couldn’t have it. I would never let him have it.

Sehun returned the question to me. “What do you want from me, Lei? Do you want me to apologize for kissing you two years ago? Because I won’t. Should I say that I’m sorry for giving your mom gifts from my friend when I didn’t even know what they were?”

I opened my mouth to say that I wasn’t very interested in hearing what he had to say, but Sehun spoke instead. “Without even telling you, I’ve done so much for you. I’ve carried and guarded so many secrets for you, and you just— I don’t expect you to thank me, but would it kill you to just—”

When Sehun stopped abruptly, I followed his gaze to find that Baekhyun had drawn the blinds to watch us through the window from his place on the couch. Our eyes met. Baekhyun looked away first.

“Whatever,” Sehun grumbled.

Before I could think of anything to say, before I could embrace or deny the burning urge to apologize, Heechul brushed by me to walk inside, I assumed, to find and comfort Mom. I would have followed Heechul inside to escape the fight that had gone too far even if Sehun hadn’t started the walk to his car first.

Sehun must have taken the mistletoe crown with him; it wasn’t on the rocking chair when I searched for it in the dark.

Lucas wrapped me in a bone crushing hug as soon as I walked in from the late night chill. He only released me when I promised, “I’m okay. I’m fine. I just really want to talk to Taemin.” Although Lucas could have teased me, he only nodded and nudged me toward the stairs.

Baekhyun, the only person I thought knew about my argument with Sehun, didn’t say anything. He didn’t even glance up at me from the popcorn garland (that I made with Lucas that morning) that he was eating one piece at a time. If I imagined that Baekhyun could be sad, that’s what I imagined he would look like: eyes downcast, lips puckered into a boyish little pout, cheeks flushed. Had I been well enough to talk, I would have asked what was wrong.

At the base of the stairs, where Kai and Wookie excitedly discussed their favorite holiday songs, I discarded my red heels. Before either of them— or any of the others at the still thriving party— could notice me, I dashed up to my room, shoes in hand.

I don’t know how I knew that I would find Taemin there, sweeping the glass shards around the vanity into a small trash bin. Still standing by the door after I closed it with a soft click, after dropping my shoes onto the floor, I eagerly broke the silence. “I’m sorry I left you here to clean my mess.”

Glancing at the cleaned and reorganized vanity, I saw that he left the folded Donghae poster under the photograph on the same corner where the ribbon had once been. I could only hope that their color wouldn’t fade, that they wouldn’t collect dust for long.

Taemin lightly kicked the bin under the vanity and walked to me. In both warm hands, he cupped my cheeks, and it wasn’t until I looked into his eyes— kind and comforting and sparkling although the only light in my room was the moon’s rays flooding in through the window behind him— that I realized I was crying.

Wiping the tears, Taemin promised, “I’ll always be here to help you clean your messes. That’s nothing to apologize for. It’s okay if you run off and take whatever space you need because I’ll always be here when you come back.”

I wrapped my arms around Taemin’s waist and pulled him against me. I hesitated to press my face against his chest because I didn’t want to stain his clothes with my makeup. There was little room to resist, however, when he drew me closer to his heartbeat, gently combing a hand through my hair.

As if it would make everything better, I said, “I love you.” Taemin probably would have said that he loved me had I not continued, “I really don’t want to go back down to the party.” I didn’t care if I was being cowardly.

“Okay,” Taemin agreed, “then we won’t.”

I hadn’t expected him to stay with me when he could have been downstairs laughing with Kai, but I wouldn’t say anything to convince him to go. Maybe I didn’t need Taemin, but I wanted him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Taemin asked once we were seated side by side on my bed (which was much bigger than any of our tiny hotel beds), atop a light blue quilt I had owned my entire life.

Glancing away from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, playing on the television mounted on the wall, I met Taemin’s careful gaze and shook my head. “Not really. The last time I tried to talk about this, Sehun and I yelled at each other and traumatized Baekhyun.”

“I’m not going to yell at you,” Taemin said quietly, as if to demonstrate his benevolence. Looking around the room, he joked, “And there’s no Baekhyun in sight!”

Smiling vaguely— and then biting on my lips because smiling didn’t seem right— I admitted, “Aside from all of the Donghae drama, I feel bad for taking my frustration out on Sehun, even though he was being annoying.”

“I don’t think Sehun would have a hard time forgiving you if you apologize.” Taemin disconnected my phone from its charger and handed it to me. When I only accepted it quietly, Taemin added, “I’m not saying that I think you have to apologize. It’s just— if you’re sorry—”

Taemin didn’t even have to know the full context of the argument; he encouraged me to apologize to Sehun only because he thought it would lessen my burden. He thought it would make me feel better.

“Later,” I decided and laid my phone face down on the nightstand. I wasn’t quite ready to face my actions just yet. And, as I told Taemin, “I just want to be with you right now.”

With a nod, Taemin swallowed his concern. Smiling like a child, he pointed at the small white-wrapped gift on the nightstand and asked, “What’s that?”

Once I grabbed the gift, I held it out to Taemin, giggling at his wide-eyed expression. “If you don’t like it—” Taemin shook his head, hair flopping as he accepted the present— “then I’ll be more than happy to keep it!”

The enthusiastic shaking of Taemin’s head stopped only as he admired the opened gift. “Does this—” He tucked my hair behind my ear and traced his thumb over my crescent moon earring as he had earlier in the dining room. Taemin beamed down at the giftbox and boasted, “This matches yours!”

I blushed as he retracted his hand to fit his new earring into one of his piercings. “Yeah. They’re two halves of a pair. I didn’t know if you’d like it, but—”

Taemin lightly kissed my cheek, dangerously close to my mouth, and swore, “I love it,” so I didn’t bother to explain the thoughts that led me to choose the moon earrings as his gift. Because f the way Taemin smiled at me, it seemed that he already understood.

He stood and said, “I left your gift downstairs. I’ll be right back!”

Before he even left the room, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without Taemin’s embrace. Considering his frequent requests to come over throughout the week, I expected that Taemin would agree to stay until sunrise if I asked. Thinking only of making Taemin comfortable, I tiptoed down the hall to Lucas’s room in search of pajamas.

As I passed Mom’s room and found it empty, I sighed in relief, releasing the breath I hadn’t known I was holding. Heechul must have convinced her to return to the party; he was good at that kind of thing. Although I didn’t quite want to join them, I was glad to imagine Mom having fun downstairs.

When I first ran up the stairs back into Taemin’s arms, a critical part of my mind cursed me for running from the party— for running from Sehun as I always had. However, I decided as I imagined the smile that might settle on Taemin’s face when I asked him to stay, making new memories didn’t count as running. Spending time with Taemin counted as embracing the present, letting go of the past, and looking excitedly toward the future.

As I emerged from Lucas’s closet, clutching a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants, I was caught. Face dangerously close to mine, Lucas asked, “What are you doing?”

The party must have been raging for nobody to react to my ear-splitting scream or Lucas’s subsequent side-splitting laughter.

I wheezed, pressing a palm flat over my chest, “You just gave me a heart attack, Lucas! You should really learn to announce yourself.”

“I didn’t realize I had to announce myself in my own room,” Lucas rolled his eyes. His room— as if he hadn’t occupied a guest room. “I came to check on you. When you weren’t in your room, I didn’t expect to find you stealing from my closet!”

“It’s not stealing.” I tried to walk around Lucas, too embarrassed to explain that I was taking his clothes to encourage Taemin to spend the night. “It’s borrowing.”

Lucas laughed. “Right.” He didn’t block the door; he walked into the hall first, and that allowed him to catch a glimpse of Taemin slipping into my room, gift box in hand. “Oh, I see!” Lucas winked and snorted at my blush. “Tell Taemin he can keep those—” he nodded toward the bundle of clothes in my hands— “if he wants to. He’s pretty sentimental, huh? He’ll want some kind of souvenir of the first time you asked him to spend the night.”

My face burned as I kicked Lucas toward the stairs, giggling as he reacted with a dramatic cry as he ran a hand over the injury.

When I returned to my room, I found Taemin sitting on my bed, a small white-wrapped gift sitting in his lap. I sat by his side and gave him the bundle of Lucas’s clothes in exchange for his box.

“What’s this?” Taemin lowered his head before mine to steal my attention away from his gift.

“Pajamas,” I forced myself to answer casually, delicately picking at tape. “You know, in case you want to spend the night. Here. With me.” Funny. Until I started talking, I didn’t think that I was nervous. Now, I couldn’t seem to stand the silence. How embarrassing.

Taemin smiled at my invitation. His smile grew as he noticed my wide-eyed reaction to his gift: a silver crescent moon hanging on a delicate silver chain.

It’s important to note that Taemin and I hadn’t coordinated our gifts. The only explanation for our matching, I guessed, was that we each associated the other with the moon that watched over us on that first night in the garden. The only explanation was that Taemin and I remembered that night with the same heart fluttering joy. We were on the same page at the same time, and that was rare and beautiful.

“Here.” Taemin lifted the necklace out of its box with nimble fingers and motioned for me to turn my back to him. After struggling with the clasp for so long that I started giggling (which was mostly a reaction to Taemin’s high pitched whining), he finally secured the necklace around my neck. He placed a light kiss to the nape of my neck before turning me to face him.

“Thank you,” I said while tracing my fingers along the cold pendant.

“You’re welcome,” Taemin yawned and wrapped an arm around me. It was a cliche move, I guess, but it was cute enough to make me smile. “I’m kinda tired. Are you sure you don’t wanna go back to the party?”

Accepting my nod, Taemin grabbed Lucas’s clothes and started toward the door, I assumed, to change in the bathroom across the hall.

“Wait!” I blurted as if what I wanted to say couldn’t wait another minute. Maybe it couldn’t. Maybe I had waited long enough. For a few seconds, I sat on the edge of my bed, gathering Taemin’s giftbox and the wrinkled wrapping paper. I was thankful that he had only stopped in his tracks; he hadn’t turned to face me. I don’t know that I could have looked him in the eyes as I confessed, “I want us to be together.”

“Huh?” Taemin gasped when I threw my arms around his waist, pulled his body against mine, and rose onto the tips of my toes to kiss the nape of his neck— the same place where he had kissed me just moments earlier.

Taemin turned in my embrace. “I’ll be right back,” he assured, his lips meeting the crown of my head. “I just have to go change, and—”

Taemin cocked his head when I shook mine. “No, I mean—” I was stuttering, too excited to speak properly. I wasn’t quite nervous— or maybe I was; maybe it was anxiety that tied my stomach in knots. “I have to tell you that I love the necklace, and I love you, and I want to be your girlfriend, please.”

There was nothing to be afraid of. Taemin didn’t even search my face for uncertainty— perhaps knowing that he would find none— before giggling and running his hands down the lengths of my arms. “Is that it?”

I nodded, and Taemin played, “It’s nice that you said ‘please.’ That’s very polite of you.” He must have been excited that I was voluntarily taking this bold step toward him. I wouldn’t have faulted him for teasing me. It didn’t hurt me when he teased me. “I want you to be my girlfriend, too, but not as much as I want to be your boyfriend.”

He looked at me with raised eyebrows, so I agreed, “You can be my boyfriend, Taemin.”

Maybe it was a little silly to be so ecstatic about titles when Taemin and I had been together for those few months that felt like forever, but after he left the room, I smiled so widely that my cheeks hurt as I danced into my pajamas. I was still smiling as I leaped onto the bed, eagerly awaiting the moment when Taemin would fill the space beside me— this time as my boyfriend— when my phone rang.

Should I be embarrassed that, even after the symbolic (dramatic) act of removing his poster from the wall, I accepted Donghae’s call? I’m not embarrassed. You have to understand how much he meant to me. You have to try to imagine how many smiles he planted on my face through years of kindness.

I must have loved Donghae beyond comprehension. At the sight of him, small and smiling on my phone’s screen, every recently born resentment I held toward him was released. I don’t know if I could have clung to my anger even if I wanted to.

Maybe it’s impossible to stay angry at somebody you love. Maybe I was looking for every excuse to forgive him for hurting Mom even if he wasn’t sorry.

I smiled a heavy sort of sincere smile as I greeted, “Hello. Merry Christmas,” with a small wave.

“Merry Christmas.” Donghae mirrored my wave. His smile seemed heavier than mine. “Sehun said you were upset.”

Is that why Donghae called? Not because his Christmas was incomplete without me (like mine was incomplete without him) but because Sehun tattled on me? My heart sank and only rose from the cold depths of disappointment when Taemin entered the room with his brilliant grin.

Careful not to make any noise that would alert Donghae to Taemin’s presence— not wanting him to scold me or Mom because a boy was in my bedroom, a place much more intimate than a hotel room— I placed a finger over my lips and motioned for Taemin to sit on the floor. Because Donghae’s eyes were downcast, he didn’t notice.

Taemin obeyed my instruction to be quiet, but he didn’t sit on the floor as I requested. Gently, he eased onto my bed, sitting down at my feet. I stifled a chuckle, reasoning that as long as he didn’t say anything, there was no harm in Taemin’s small rebellion.

“Lei.” Donghae reclaimed my attention. “I called to check on you. Are you okay?”

Meeting his gaze, I answered, “I’m okay now. I just—” I almost choked on my honesty— “I missed you earlier, and—”

Did I dare to confront Donghae about the photograph? I had to; it wasn’t right to take out my aggression on Sehun without being willing to confront the source.

“I saw a picture of all of us taken at one of your birthday parties years ago, back when I was a little kid, and I guess—” As if to remind me that he was there, that it was okay to be honest even when it hurt, Taemin grabbed my hand and empowered me to admit, “I’ve been sad lately because so much has changed.”

Moments passed in silence before Donghae acknowledged, nodding, “Yeah. Change is inevitable, and it can seem scary. You’re at a time in life where you’re starting to step into the world as an adult— and that’s a very good thing. I don’t know exactly how you're feeling, but I know that watching you grow is scary for me.”

Donghae laughed, so I laughed too. Taemin squeezed my hand.

Donghae confessed, “Lately, I’ve worried that maybe I’ve been a burden to you— like when I overreacted to your dance practice with Lucas or when I lost my temper because your mom trusted the boys in your group to share a room with you.”

I shook my head. “I won’t lie— you kind of embarrassed me. I mean, not so much with Lucas because I don’t care what he thinks, but Taemin—” Taemin’s eyes widened at his name— “I care what Taemin thinks.”

Donghae apologized, and I said, “It’s okay. I don’t mind being embarrassed by you when you mean well. I’d rather have you here to overprotect me than have you stand someplace far away where I can’t see you just because you’re not sure what to do.”

I knew that Donghae skipped the party to avoid his tension with Mom, but I considered that maybe he was avoiding tension with me as well. I didn’t want him to avoid me.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t done a better job of teaching you that always, no matter how far apart we may be from time to time, I love you. You’re like my daughter, Lei, and nothing can change that. If you need me or if you just want to talk, I’m always just a phone call away.”

Maybe because I wanted to— maybe because I needed to— I believed Donghae when he said that he loved me. I just wasn’t quite comforted because, as I told him, “My heart is broken for you. Donghae, I’m not trying to pry into your feelings for Mom—”

Midway through a gulp of water, Donghae choked. Water dribbled from his mouth down to the front of his black t-shirt. Did he not know how obvious his infatuation was?

“— but how could you have returned the picture Mom gave you for your birthday? Did it hurt you at all to—”

“The picture?” Donghae dropped his phone onto the counter. I could hear him shuffling through his living room before he showed his panicked face. “I didn’t return the picture, but I can’t find it. I usually keep it on the mantle above my fireplace, but it’s not there!”

It was evident from his alarm that Donghae was telling the truth. My brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Sehun gave Mom your gift, and—”

“I gave your mom a bracelet like this one!” He held his hand up and pointed to a red thread on his wrist. I had seen one like it before— on Mom’s wrist when she was crying in her room.

Again, I tried to explain what I knew. “Sehun said that he was here on behalf of you and Eunhyuk—”

Donghae’s eyes widened. “Lei, I have to go. I have to call Eunhyuk.”

Did that mean that Eunhyuk had stolen the photograph to give to Mom with that scribbled note? To me, that seemed over the top and inappropriate, but maybe Eunhyuk was tired of watching his friend pine. Maybe interfering (and hurting Mom in the process) was Eunhyuk’s way of rushing the fifteen years of rejection saga toward an ending with no regard for whether the ending would be happy.

Is a sad ending better than no ending at all? I didn’t know.

“Don’t look so sad, Lei,” Donghae begged. “I’ll see you at the New Year’s party. And when I do—” He gestured to a bracelet on his wrist opposite from the one housing the red thread— “I’ll give you your gift: the bracelet that matches this.”

I caught the briefest glimpse of the bracelet’s infinity symbol as I nodded. “Okay, Donghae. Goodnight, and please remember—” his brow furrowed in anticipation— “everything will be okay.”

Donghae and I smiled, I think, because we both believed it.

After saying his final Goodnight and Merry Christmas, Donghae ended the call, and Taemin wasted no time in claiming his place by my side at the head of the bed. Lacing his fingers through mine, Taemin asked, “Do you feel a little better now?”

I probably would have nodded my head even if I still felt terrible, but I felt as if the weight of the world— or at least the weight of Donghae’s fifteen years of heartbreak— had been lifted from my shoulders. It was as I had always hoped: even if Mom and Donghae weren’t bonded in a mutual love affair, Donghae still cared for me. Donghae would still have a presence in my life.

Trusting that Donghae would somehow explain that he hadn’t returned the picture to Mom, I cast that issue from my mind. However matters between Mom and Donghae resolved, I wanted (or needed) to have as little involvement as possible to protect my relationships with each of them.

Cupping my cheek— which I guess was Taemin’s new favorite thing to do— Taemin gushed, “I’m really proud of you. Do you know that?” It seemed like a peculiar thing for a boyfriend to tell his girlfriend, but I guessed I didn’t know much about how real couples talked to each other. Anyway, I appreciated Taemin’s pride in me.

Just as I was about to say something too cringe-worthy to repeat, like, “Are you proud enough to kiss me?” Grandma walked into the room, black sweater sparkling.

It was incredible, really, that after his colossal meltdown that night in the hotel when I said that anyone could catch us sleeping together, Taemin hadn’t thought to lock the door. Although Taemin hid his face behind my shoulder, and my entire body burned crimson in utter humiliation, Grandma didn’t scold us. She didn’t seem surprised, and she didn’t acknowledge Taemin’s presence in any way other than flashing a simple smile.

“Lei, I just came to get my phone.” Grandma approached us only to grab her phone from my nightstand. “Goodnight!”

She locked the door on her way out, but our intimate atmosphere was now laced with tense embarrassment. Our innocence was somehow tainted by her unspoken expectation that something was either happening or going to happen. It was one thing for Taeyong to suspect that something was happening and giggle about it over hot wings; it was another for Grandma to suspect that we were up to no good and, worse, to encourage it.

Face still hidden, Taemin squeaked, “So we’re not in trouble?”

I laid back on my pillow and sighed, grateful that if somebody had to walk in (other than Lucas, Kai, or Taeyong), it was Grandma. “No. Grandma’s not the scolding type.”

She wasn’t the tattling type either, so she wouldn’t say anything to Mom. If Grandma ever told anyone that she found Taemin in my room, it would be Wookie; she would probably wait until next year, when there was less risk of us getting in trouble, to tell Wookie over a cup of tea.

“Besides—” I glanced up at Taemin’s red face— “she likes you too much to get mad at you.”

Taemin lit up, and his blush faded almost all at once. “She likes me?” Maybe Taemin didn’t understand that nobody could get through a conversation with him without falling.

“Not as much as I like you, but—”

I didn’t even get to finish teasing. My words encouraged Taemin to lay himself down and fit his warm body to mine.

I’ll never know why we didn’t kiss that night when it would have been so easy. I guess it must have been the same unknown reason that we didn’t kiss any of those nights on tour in the privacy of our room. Despite the burning urge to lean in and feel his lips against mine for the first time, I kind of enjoyed the wait. Without realizing it, I had waited for Taemin my entire life. Now that he was there, listening to me, speaking to me, holding me, loving me, the wait for a kiss was no real burden.

Taemin fell asleep minutes after his head hit the pillow. He must have been telling the truth when he said that he couldn’t sleep in the SuperM house. With Taemin snoring faintly into the still darkness, I drew a deep breath.

In this perfect moment, there was only one thing nagging in my mind, tying my stomach in knots (as usual): the thought of Sehun.

The urge to apologize to him was like an itch I couldn’t quite reach. And even if I could reach it, what reason did I have to believe that scratching it would make it go away? Isn’t that the worst thing to do when you’re trying to heal— disrupt the injury?

Maybe, a part of me argued, the apology was more like applying medicine. Maybe apologizing would make me feel better, even if it didn’t magically make us friends.

They were rather selfish, my reasons for reaching for my phone to text Sehun. I didn’t care much about making him feel better or receiving his forgiveness; I just knew that I wouldn’t get any sleep unless I tried to satisfy my conscience, unless I tried to untangle the knots in my stomach.

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lonelypond · 3 years

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A Coffeeshop Christmas Carol, Ch. 6

NicoMaki, HonoKotoUmi, Love Live, 2.4K, 6/?

Summary: We see what Professor Sonoda's day is like.

An Umi Day

A yawn. Soft hair tickling her nose. Honoka probably, Umi thought, smiling. Had the alarm gone off? No, something else had woken her. Umi opened her eyes. Kotori was staring, a lost look in her eyes that worried Umi. Perhaps New York was lonely and that was why Kotori was pushing them to spend the holiday there?

“Kotori?”

“Eeep?!?!?!” An adorable jump accompanied the squeal. Kotori wrapped her kimono closer, the cranes flying across the blue a soothing morning view.

“Is there something worrying you?”

Kotori shook her head, biting her lip. Umi considered kicking Honoka awake, but decided Honoka needed sleep and Kotori needed some individual attention. Their relationship was a garden Umi tended carefully.

“Let’s talk over coffee.”

“I wanted to visit that coffeeshop today.”

Umi grabbed her bathrobe, glancing back at a soundly sleeping Honoka. Bakery hours and Kotori time made for long days.

“Why don’t we let Honoka sleep in and come back and surprise her with our ratings of her pastries? She’s been perfecting her cheese danishes.”

“Ooohh.” A gleam in Kotori’s eye. Umi was pleased.

“Just give me five minutes.”

“What about your exercises?”

“I will do a warm up form while you pick your coat for today,” Umi pulled Kotori into a tight hug. “And we can walk briskly. I’m sure you will need to burn some calories in advance.” Umi teased lightly, relishing the feel of Kotori relaxing into her embrace. Perhaps it was time for an adjustment in the geographical distribution of their relationship.

###

Umi paused and lowered her violin. She had been demonstrating the different effects of bouncing a bow sautillé or spiccato on an Antonio Vivaldi piece but Nana Nakagawa was paying no attention, very unusual for the usually diligent sophomore.

“Nan, is something concerning you?”

Nana’s expression turned discomfited and she lowered her own bow and violin, gray eyes wide behind her glasses. “My apologies, Professor Sonoda. I am allowing other concerns to distract me.”

Umi gestured to a stool with her bow, sitting herself to encourage Nana to engage, “If you are preoccupied with something serious enough to disturb your focus, perhaps discussing it will help.”

Nana sat and said nothing and Umi was about to pick up her bow and begin again when words rushed out of her pupil, “I scheduled an audition after this, for a singing role, and I’ve never done anything like that before, well, never on a public stage, just in choirs and choruses and I don’t know what to do, or if I want to stay on the conducting track, but nothing feels like singing...at karaoke, even, just the way people NOTICE…” Gray eyes were gleaming and the bow was conducting an imaginary audience.

Ah, Umi could make a jump from those clues. “So you’re auditioning for A Christmas Carol and…”

Umi hoped her pupil's speeding words would continue.

“If I like it, really like it, what am I going to do, my parents already had to deal with me not being an engineer or a pre med, will they just think I’m a dilettante? I can’t tell them, Professor Sonoda, I just can't, but if I get a part, I’ll have to explain why I’m staying on campus.”

Time to interrupt the panic. Raising a hand to quiet Nana, Umi spoke,“First, audition. Do your tasks in their proper order. There may be nothing to tell your parents.”

Her audience doubted that statement but was willing to devote some thought to it, “So don’t plan my post audition life yet?”

Umi nodded, “Exactly. You are worrying about conversations that may not be required. You should save your energy and focus on communicating to Professor Yazawa your suitability for a role.”

Nana zoomed back to panic, pale face, shaky hands, never good for a violinist. Umi sighed. Time for a task they could succeed at. Confidence carried forward. Umi put her violin in its case, indicating her pupil should do the same.

“Let’s take a moment to analyze this piece. The composer has done some very clever things with the general arrangement.”

Nana leaned forward, switching her bow for a pencil, eyes intent on the pages before her, all worries lost in the challenge of music.

###

“UMI!” Honoka’s voice always gladdened Umi’s mood. The door of her office swung open with a vigor no one else could manage. “Thanks for letting me sleep in. Kotori’s got a bunch of business calls so I brought you lunch.” Honoka pulled Umi into a hug that neither of them wanted to break, Umi enjoying the comfort of a never too familiar warmth and strength. “How’s your day?”

Umi hugged tighter, surprising Honoka.

“What’s wrong, Umi?”

Umi broke the hug, but Honoka’s bright blue eyes maintained the warm connection.

“Other people’s worries.”

Honoka nodded, “Yeah, it’s that kind of a day, isn’t it.” Honoka closed the door and set two sandwiches on Umi’s desk, carefully spreading two cloth napkins first, “Nozomi was kinda grumpy and sad when I stopped in to see if she needed to reorder any pastries.”

“How was Kotori?” Had Honoka noticed anything? Or had Kotori hid her worries. Their coffeeshop conversation had yielded no insights, just Kotori describing the early sketches of her Summer theme.

“Kotori?” Honoka had a sandwich unwrapped, Umi’s lower filing cabinet drawer pulled out to prop her feet on, and a surprised look. “Is something wrong?”

Umi moved her chair next to Honoka, her own sandwich in hand, “I don’t think so.”

“That’s not convincing, Umi.”

Umi chuckled. Honoka always called out her hesitancies, “No, it’s not. Kotori, too, seems to be in a mood.”

“That kind of a day.”

“Seemingly.”

A sharp rap on the door pushed it open and Nico came halfway into the room. “Hi Honoka. Umi, fix your replacement. She doesn’t know anything.”

Honoka leaned her head on Umi’s shoulder, whispering, “Grumpus Contagious.”

Umi bit back a giggle. Her replacement? Oh, Nico must mean Maki. Nico vibrated impatiently in the center of the office. And Umi wanted to eat her lunch. Honoka had done something with pumpernickel and mustard from the tantalizing smell and Umi wondered what else had made its way into the combination.

“Are you going to fix Maki or not?”

“What did Maki do?”

“Walked in to my auditions and applauded the first two auditionees.”

“That is unusual.”

“Unusual?” Nico stomped. “It’s rude, it’s problematic, and it gives two freshmen inflated views of their audition.”

“Was it a bad audition.”

“No,” Nico fake punched in the direction of the door, “It was fine, but Nico needs an ensemble leader who is aware of theatrical etiquette.” Nico’s emphasis on the word etiquette snapped Umi out of her Honoka induced laissez-faire attitude. Especially with first year students, proper behavior modeling by teachers was essential.

“I am sorry I did not initially take this as seriously as it deserved, Nico.”

Nico nodded, pleased at the adjustment of Umi's tone.

“I will talk to Maki this afternoon and make sure that she is aware of how auditions and rehearsals are conducted.”

“Make sure you go over tech three times. Nico doesn’t need a rookie who thinks it only takes two hours.”

“I will ensure that Maki performs all of her required duties.”

“Good. Nico is flexible but…”

“There are students involved.”

“Exactly.” That problem solved, Nico smiled at Honoka, “Those look tasty.”

“They are.” Honoka had finished hers, “Nozomi’s going to try them out next week. Kasumi’s a mad scientist with spices and bread dough. It’s fun.”

“She may be busy soon.”

Honoka shrugged, “She’ll probably still come in. Kneading dough works out a lot of stress.”

Umi wanted her private lunch relaxation zone back, “Is there anything else, Nico?”

“Nope, Nico’s good. Sorry to interrupt…”

“Nah, it was good to see you, Nico.” Honoka waved, “Having another speakeasy this Friday. Be sure to come.”

“Nico’s looking forward to it.”

“I’ll let you know how my conversation with Maki goes.”

“Thanks, Umi. See you, Honoka.”

And finally, Umi could relish her lunch treat.

###

Honoka had overstayed her lunch hour and run off to meet a delivery truck. If Umi went to Maki’s studio, she would have no time to practice this afternoon. And today’s rehearsal with Nana had turned into a mostly conversational session, not the duet Umi had planned. No practice time always threw off everything, especially Umi's mood. “Grumpus Contagious” Umi thought as she moved her chair back to its usual spot.

Maybe a carefully worded text to Maki would be a good conversational starter.

U: Nico has expressed some concern that you are lacking an elementary awareness of theatrical etiquette.

Rather than stare at her phone and wait for a reply, Umi would begin her violin warm ups. Perhaps she should be added in more regular vocal practice as well. Kotori seemed very serious about the New York City Christmas Cabaret. Umi had seen glimpses of a dress sketches. It would be an elegant mood.

Phone.

M: I’m fine.

U: Not having any experience with production, you may not be aware of all the quirks involved in staging a show.

M: I’ll read a book.

U: It’s not that simple.

M: I get a schedule, right?

M: You know, I’ll just talk to Nico.

Umi believed that Nico would consider Umi derelict in her duties if after her attempt at educating Maki, the result was that Maki asked Nico 1,000 questions.

U: There will be stage managers. Talk to the production stage manager and have them explain to you how Nico usually works.

M: Production Stage Manager?

U: Nico’s assistant. It’s usually one of the older students. Their job is coping.

M: There must be a book. I’ll look.

U: Directing is difficult, takes time, and Nico does a very good job. Please do not unduly add to her burden.

M: Don’t worry. I got this.

U: I will hold you to that.

M: (^-^)ゝ

Umi nodded. Maki was now aware of the gravity of the situation.

###

This was one of Umi’s favorite classes. An advanced seminar that rotated topics and instructors. Managing An Orchestra was this quarter’s theme. Only half a dozen students: Nana, a sophomore, three juniors, two seniors.

They were discussing Japanese conductors, Hideo Sato and one of his most prominent students, Seiji Ozawa. Umi occasionally wore a white turtleneck under her tuxedo jacket to honor Owaza’s unique style. She had handed out an interview with Owaza from Joshua Jampol’s Living Opera book.

Nana had the floor, “I looked up Hideo Saito, Professor Sonoda, and read that he brought discipline to generally disorganized Japanese orchestras. Is this the first job of the conductor?”

Umi, perched on a stool, considered the question, leaving a space for another student to speak. But it seemed no one else had done supplemental research specifically into Ozawa’s influences. “I think the entire profession has evolved, both in Japan and internationally, and with the rigorous training most professional musicians receive, there is less need to educate them on basic courtesies like preparing for rehearsals.”

Ronna Emem raised a point from the article, “Ozawa quotes Saito and says that “For a conductor, the most important thing is if he can conduct an a cappella chorus. Because every note, every voice is important. Every word is important.” Do you agree, Professor?”

A direct question for Umi to field, “Ozawa says a little later that with the” best vocalists, the voice becomes the best instrument” and I certainly agree with that. For myself, with the violin, I have found much wisdom in Francesco Geminiani’s belief that the violinist’s job was to create “a tone that shall in a manner rival the most perfect human voice.”

“So if you believe all this,” Ronna leaned forward, “why do we spend most of our time conducting instrumental ensembles and not vocal ones?”

Umi blinked. Advanced seminars allowing opportunities for the teacher to learn from the students was why they were her favorite type of class.

“That is a very sound point, Ronna. And one which I believe requires a review of our current conducting curriculum. So what would each of you like to see added?”

###

Umi was still perched on the stool, mulling her students’ suggestions. Her next meeting with Director Minami would be a challenge. She would have to make time to prepare a thorough presentation.

“Did you talk to Maki?”

Her students had left the door open and Nico had bopped in, looking wearier than earlier.

“Are your auditions over? I trust they went well.”

Nico waved a hand, not to be distracted, “Maki?”

“We have agreed that she should not put any extra burdens on you.”

“And she said? You did talk, right?” Nico leaned in the doorway, arms crossed, suspicious.

Umi shook her head, “Text.”

Nico rolled her eyes, “Nico has to do everything.”

“I did suggest she talk to a stage manager.”

Nico’s eyes lit up, “That’s a great idea, Umi. Nico will assign one to babysit her.”

Umi thought that would be best because (^-^)ゝaside, there was no way that Maki was going to initiate a conversation with a student she didn’t know.

“Maybe don’t call it babysitting?” Umi offered hesitantly.

Another dismissive hand wave, “Nico handles more divas than you. Don’t help.”

Umi shrugged. As soon as Nico stopped talking, Umi could go home. So if the conversation continued, it would not be because Umi spoke.

Nico pushed off, “Thanks for the stage manager idea. Let Nico know before you head out for the holidays. Will you be in town for Thanksgiving?”

“I believe so.”

“Stop by for Friendsgiving carolling. The more the merrier. And the less isolated the students who aren’t welcome at home feel.”

Nico was much more involved in the lives of her students than Umi, but productions were a much more intense environment than classes. And Nico, having cared for young siblings from a young age, had mastered a quirky aunt vibe that made some of the most skittish students willing to be chivvied and teased by her. Umi wondered if that pushiness would also charm the reclusive Maki.

“Honoka and I will plan to be there; I’m not sure if Kotori is heading back to New York before then.”

“All are welcome. Spread the word.” Nico blew a kiss, “Thanks, Umi. See you Friday.”

Umi waved, no longer paying attention, thinking once again about how to approach expanding vocal opportunities on campus. Nico would surely relish adding a full scale musical to the performance repertoire.

A/N: Tired, obsessed with Romeo and Juliet (have you watched Romeo X Juliet, they give her a sword and a secret identity), and not going to rush this because I love backstage stories.

#NicoMaki #Love Live #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #nana nakagawa #setsuna yuki #HonoKotoUmi #kosaka honoka #sonoda umi #minami kotori #A Coffeeshop Christmas Carol #Christmas #Theatre #etc.

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corpse--diem · 4 years

Text

An Offer You Can’t Refuse | Felix & Erin

When: Very shortly before Big Felix Featuring: @streetharmacist Summary: During a drink to celebrate a job well done, Erin and Felix decide they’re not quite finished after all.

It wasn’t a conventional location by any means, but the way Felix saw it, they had left convention behind a few miles back. Dale was dead. Bea was alive. There was plenty of reason to celebrate. And what better way than watching humans embarrass themselves at the Siren’s Serenade? With an Absinthe Hemingway in hand, he sat at one of the tables farthest from the karaoke stage. He didn’t mind a spotlight or two in the slightest but...time and place. It could come later. Roy Chambers. The name Erin had mentioned. It made sense why it lingered in his dome for so long. It was a familiar name. The kind that bears repeating. A few utterances invoked the spirit of old connections and he was nonetheless eager to share. If only to see where the threads all went to. Felix took a sip and eyed the door as he waited. The way things were, it was a matter that certainly demanded to be discussed.

Finding Felix in the Siren’s Serenade crowd didn’t take long. Hard to miss the only guy in the place with sunglasses and Erin made a mental note to sensitively bring that up someday. She took just a moment to ready herself, straighten up, shake the tension from her shoulders. The job had been taken care of - Dale was dead. No cops were breaking down her door. Felix was being paid in full again. Generally speaking, things were that surface-level kind of okay that made meeting up for drinks not nearly as terrifying as it could have been. “Some real beauts in here tonight, huh?” She greeted him with a warm grin. Thank God he’d picked a table far, far away from that mess. The whiskey she ordered when she passed by the bar came as she settled into the spot opposite him, and was quiet otherwise until the plucky server left them alone. “How’s business?” Erin asked over the top of her glass, watching the curve of his lips in lieu of black glass. “Running smoother, I hope? Now that you’ve got that big ol’ bald roadblock out of the way.”

“You really missed out on a winner earlier,” Felix said as he sat up a little straighter as Erin approached the table. “Just when you thought folks got tired of Bohemian Rhapsody, bam, there it is again. Just a pitch higher and a pitcher more drunk too. You gotta love it.” He adjusted in his seat, propped an ankle up on one knee as he settled. At her question, he smiled and took a sip of his absinthe. “Business? Well, it’s business and business is booming. I think it’s the encroaching summertime. Really gets the people in a certain sorta way, y’know?” It wouldn’t do to mention how much he and Blaine had discussed how sad the youth of White Crest could be. It was an off time for most and when that was the case, it was an on time for them. At big ol’ bald roadblock, he gave a loud laugh and set his glass down. “Well heck, I can say that the push and pull is making a lot more sense and that’s always real nice to see in my line of work,” he admitted with a tilt of his head. “And yours? It’s not, ah, going under, is it?” He smiled. “Surely it’s not. Certainly not after a loss like that, huh?”

Erin spared a glance at the travesty on stage and immediately winced. “Does that mean that A Whole New World duet I was looking forward to with you is off the table?” She asked playfully, trying hard not to watch his smallest gestures and movements with too much scrutiny. Something had changed. She wasn’t sure what exactly, and it wasn’t something she’d be quick to call it trust. Maybe she should have been more unsettled by how easy it was to joke with a man who was basically an accomplice to the murder she organized. “Yeah? Glad to hear it. I’ll take it that means all is well.” She shook her head, eyes dropping to watch the ripples slam against glass. Oh boy. She’d need an emptier glass before she asked him to shine a light on any of that. Wouldn’t be good. She looked up again at his question. “Well, losses are my gain, generally speaking,” she shrugged. She sat back, tapping her finger against her glass as she contemplated her next words carefully. “Honestly? Retirement is starting to look pretty damn good right now and I gotta tell you--the packages available in our line of work? Not great. I know our buddy Dale would agree.” Warmth flooded her cheeks and suddenly she swore she could feel the heat brimming from the crematory chamber that very same man had left this world in. She paused, pushing past it and ease into another smile. “I’m hoping maybe you do too.”

“Oh, I won’t turn down a duet but let’s see how things are a few weeks from now, huh?” Felix said, mouth more in a curved line of knowing than anything close to a smile. “I’m nothing if not in it for a chance at some old-fashioned theatrics.” He loved his shadows without question but put the right spotlight on him and even a guy like him wanted to shine. And on the off chance it was the light of an interrogation room, he could make do. If he were someone else, gifted with the same knowledge, maybe they’d be put off by the way Erin smiled post-murder. Maybe even by how he did. They’d certainly be put off by the way they laughed and clinked glasses. Their stomachs wouldn’t handle it. Some people were just hungrier. A fact of life that his teeth fit around just fine. He could smile around it and he did so. “Oh yeah, very well but things could always be better,” he said with a thoughtful hum. “But ain’t that just how it is? Place like this, with what it has going on, it’s hard to ever really be satisfied since the work is never really done. I mean, you get it, right? All things considered, you got job security for life.” He tipped his glass towards her with a low laugh. As she spoke, he considered what she said carefully. There wasn’t any buzz in his chest other than the absinthe on his tongue. Words were everything to fae. They meant the slimmest difference between being in or getting out of a bind. “Hoping I do too, huh? Sounds to me like you’re looking for a newer, better deal. Very FDR of you, I dig it,” he said as he leaned forward intently. “Since we’re on the subject and all, I’ve got some information you might like to hear. About the ol’ bossman of yours.”

Old-fashioned. Erin had to laugh at that. Seemed to be this guy’s MO. It worked for him. “Why am I not surprised by that?” But he wasn’t wrong, about any of it, and part of her wondered if Dale had done them both a favor. He’d been the catalyst, the wild card that had spurned all of this on. Pissed Felix off enough to darken her doorway that fateful evening, stirring up tempers and trouble for them all. She could admit she’d grown comfortable, almost complacent in her rage, stewing and simmering. Now it was boiling over almost recklessly. It’d brought her here. If there was any hope to be had, it was right in front of her. Felix was quick. More knowledgeable than he let on. And sharp. She could tell that much already. Judging what side of the blade she fell on here was harder to distinguish but she knew she wanted to one the right one. “There’s always a better deal,” she nodded at his words, matching his dry smile. “Just ask any of my vendors though--I’m a hell of a negotiator.” Her eyes jumped from her drink to his sunglasses, momentary uncertainty flickering across her well set poker face at the mention of her boss. So much for that. “Do you? And how much is that gonna cost me?” She asked, shrugging nonchalantly. If she’d learned anything, it was that nothing came free. “If it’s worth anything at all. If you’re about to remind me that he’s a son of a bitch, trust me. I’m well aware.”

“You’re not? Dang, I gotta keep working on my front then.” Felix said with a smile as he unfolded an old matchbook and lit himself a cigarette. He waved the match out, breathed in nicotine, then breathed it out the side of his mouth. The karaoke choice shifted to something poppy that he didn’t recognize. It was bold what he and Erin were doing. Discussing dark things in the dim light of a karaoke bar. That was half of the thrill, really, the likelihood of being seen by the forces they discussed. Even if they were, no one would think anything of it right then. They were just chatting. See them now, but when the knifepoint touched to a neck with a pulse that hammered so hard the knife trembled, they might have wished they looked harder. Death granted a keen hindsight to the dying. One last gift. “Oh, I believe it. Death is an awful expensive business and while dirt naps are cheaper sometimes, can’t fault someone for wanting to rot in mahogany,” he said as he pulled the cigarette from between his lips and tapped it against the ashtray. “But gotta say, it’s good to know that you ain’t satisfied with all this business yet because I ain’t either. I think we can get dealt a better hand here.” He smiled. Erin was sharp. Quick. That was good. He appreciated the kind of company that could cut thin but cut deep. “Not much,” he admitted vaguely. “As for what I know, this guy, Roy Chambers? He ain’t just here. I’ve got some fellas in New York that know the name. He’s got his fingers in a lot of pies. A lot of pies that other people have made. Now that? That doesn’t sit right with me at all. Between you and me, guys like that shouldn’t have so much. It’s unseemly.”

There was something so incredibly appropriate about Felix lighting up that cigarette. Shadowy booths, shady conversations, smoke billowing around them in the dimly lit bar. Theatrics, case-in-point. Erin shook her head slowly, barely suppressing the smirk that lifted the corner of her lips. All they needed now was a black and white filter and a costume change to truly set the mood. “New York?” she echoed, raising her brows. Shit. This guy was a bigger deal than she anticipated with a reach like that. She could practically see the cogs and wheels spinning behind Felix’s glasses. “Of course he did. He probably thinks he’s the Elon Musk of White Crest,” she said, rolling her eyes. Didn’t surprise her though. Greed fueled monsters like Roy Chambers. He was a glutton, and a comfortable one. Constantly hungry, constantly devouring. Already trying to take bites out of her with her mother’s bones still stuck in his teeth. Her jaw set tightly and she glanced up from the napkin corner she was picking apart. “That’s a lot of pie, though. Sounds like you’re thinking about taking a few slices for yourself, yeah?” They were tiptoeing around it but there was no mistaking what Felix was implying. “If you’re offering--I could eat.”

Felix nodded through the smoke. “Yup. Makes sense. White Crest isn’t exactly a hub for this kinda work. Not really,” he said as he raised a hand and spread his fingers out. “He’s got a nice web here, sure, but a guy like this, it’s always bigger.” He smiled to himself then as he shifted forward and lifted himself from the shadow of the wall. He grinned. Erin got it. He had a feeling she would. She was tired of it and when people got tired of bullshit, they got restless. Proactive, even. And they made it known in ways that wouldn’t readily be forgotten. “Precisely, precisely.” His word manufacturing slowed as he got to thinking, his tongue pressed against the top of his mouth. “You see, I’d be fine taking a figure off or two, free up some space,” he admitted with a shrug, his tone easy. “Could do that, sure. It’d make things a little easier, you know, for you and me.” He gestured between the two of them. The grin he wore lessened by the second. “But I don’t think we’d be satisfied. Half-measures don’t sit right with me. Half-measures get you right back where you started.” He shook his head and looked at Erin. There wasn’t any concern or doubt in him. She got it. “Nah,” he said as he stabbed his cigarette into the ash tray. “We take off the whole fucking hand.” He laced his fingers together and sat up. “These debts you inherited? A couple Roy phalanges ought to cover it. With interest.” Money was a motivating factor in plenty but getting a guy back, that went further. It lived longer. “We do this? Really do this? We’re square for life. So yeah, Ms. Nichols, I’m offering.”

There it was--the proposition Felix had been inching toward since Erin had sat down across from him. At some point she knew it was coming. Maybe he needed someone low on Roy’s radar, capable of stomaching the hard jobs with a motivation matched his own. He sure as hell looked at her like he’d found someone to fill that slot. She could do it. He just needed to say the words and make it real. When he finally did, something dangerously close to hope woke with a hard start beneath her ribcage. She hadn’t expected that but she couldn’t pretend that it didn’t feel good. Her mind had been made up long before she finally spoke.

“Let’s really do this, then. Let’s cut off the hand. I’ll take the whole damn arm if that’s what it takes,” she answered without hesitation. Bit back a big, sharp grin. If they failed, they died. That wasn’t lost on her for a second. She’d been in survival mode for so long now though that it was easy to forget what she was doing now was purely existing. It didn’t sustain or nurture. Just kept her alive enough to trudge through the next day. It was time. She was ready to live again, even if trying was the last thing she ever did, and she met Felix’s hand halfway across the table. “I’m all in.”

#wickedswriting #chatzy #chatzy: felix #an offer you can't refuse

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emotionally-imbruised · 5 years

Note

In AIL, do harry and y/n consider the song Accidentally In Love *their song*?

Oh, 100%. It most definitely is their song™️ , and everyone knows it too.

Accidentally In Love: No Escaping Your Love

One night, you and Harry went out with some friends. The small group of you had decided to go to a little hole in the wall pub in London together as a small celebration for Harry’s upcoming Rolling Stone and The Face cover launch, as well as the eventual release of his second album.

Although you and Harry were not together during the era of his first solo record, you were fully aware of the whirlwind of things that would happen afterward seeing as you experienced it all before, as his friend. The interviews, the guest appearances, the future tour dates that you, Gemma and Anne would all plan to attend together were soon going to happen again; but this time around, you’d be cheering him on as his girlfriend… And you knew life would become a whirlwind of events because of it.

That night out was the calm before the storm. The magazines were set to drop in the upcoming weeks and the album not too long after (which you knew thanks to being one of the few people he actually told the release date and even let listen to the album itself.) It was one of the last chill nights you knew you’d share with him for a while because, after that, the album and new era was his primary focus.

Harry never let you fall under the radar by any means, but there was still this invisible weight that seemed to rest on your chest whenever you thought about it all. Specifically, the fact that your relationship with him still wasn’t public knowledge.

The almost eight months the two of you had been together by that point had been nothing short of amazing. And one of the best parts? It was private.

Only a few close friends and family knew about your relationship with him, and although neither of you cared all that much about the word getting out; deep down, you liked your little bubble. You’d grown so accustomed to the world not being in yours and Harry’s business, but you also knew that would soon change because neither of you was going to deny it when people started asking questions.

Regardless of those facts though, you refused to let anything bother you while out with your friends because frankly, the night wasn’t about you. It was about Harry, and you were completely ok with that.

The dinner was lovely. It was great catching up with your friends before flying home alone to LA a few days later; only to be joined by Harry again when he flew back to California as well, but closer to the end of the month. Gemma and Anne were there, naturally, as were a few others and that just made the night even more special.

Harry couldn’t keep himself from smiling the entire night, which you found infectious. Each time he talked about his upcoming projects‍, there was a certain glint of excitement in his eyes that brightened each time he spoke, and it made your heart swell completely.

You hadn’t been able to put into words just how proud of him you were, but luckily, he was able to tell that you were and would reassure that whenever he gently placed his hand on your thigh and rubbed soft circles with his thumb.

As dinner came to an end, you were more than ready to just head home with Harry and have the rest of the night to yourselves. You hadn’t really intended to get too rowdy and were quite content with just spending some quality time with your boyfriend; however, before you could make a move to leave; the workers at the pub brought out a karaoke machine.

The way your friends (who were definitely a little tipsy at that point) lit up with excitement made you smile, and it didn’t take much for them to convince you and Harry to stay a little while longer.

The pub was rather quiet seeing as it was getting late, which was a contributing factor in you even considering getting up on the makeshift stage and singing a song; but eventually, you did.

After another drink and a few rounds of your friends singing some songs, you and Gemma were able to absolutely nail an off-pitch version of Wannabe by the Spice Girls with zero shame. Everyone went up on the stage at least once, including Harry who attempted to sing the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody alone and did an overly dramatic duet of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart with his mum. But as the night came dwindling to an end and everyone was just about ready to head on home, one last song was requested.

“I think you and Harry should do the last song, Y/N,” Gemma spoke up from the other side of the table, loud enough for everyone to hear and agree by nodding their heads.

“Are you kidding? He’d put me to shame.”

Everyone around the table started chuckling but proceeded to tell you how you should stop being a chicken and just do it.

Just as you were narrowing your gaze at Gemma for even proposing such a thing, Harry gently nudged you with his elbow to gain your attention. You were quick in glancing towards him and couldn’t help the butterflies swarming in your stomach as he smirked down at you.

“I mean, I’m all for it,” he rasped, his voice a little rough from trying to hit Freddie Mercury’s high notes. “But only if you are, love.”

You couldn’t find it in you to say no to him with the way a glint of childlike excitement shone in his eyes, and he knew it too. So, with an exasperated sigh, you linked your hand with his and stood up from your seat.

“Ok, fine.”

Harry let you lead him towards the stage and got into position with one of the microphones, but you stopped at the edge of the table to look through the book of songs the two of you could possibly sing. However, just as you were about to reach for it, Gemma snatched it away.

“What are you up too?” You asked your best friend skeptically as she started rapidly flipping through the pages.

“I’ve got a song idea for the two of you, just gotta make sure they have it,” she replied without looking away from the book. You glanced over your shoulder at Harry to see if he knew anything about what his sister was plotting, but with the way he just shrugged, you knew he was as stumped as you were. After another minute of searching, Gemma’s eyes finally lit up, and she smiled widely. “Ok, you can go up there now.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at how she just nonchalantly shooed you away, but regardless, you listened and got up on the stage beside Harry.

“Do you know what song she chose?” He asked while leaning towards you.

“Not a clue,” you answered. “But she’s up to something, I just know it.”

The two of you then moved your gaze back to the table. Everyone was snickering as Gemma showed them what song she had chosen and much to your surprise, they all started pulling out their phones to record you just as the music started playing.

The all too familiar intro of Accidentally In Love by Counting Crows started blaring through the speakers, and you had to try really hard to not smack your palm to your forehead. Of course, she chose that song.

Harry burst into laughter as you glared at Gemma, but had to recollect himself quickly when the words popped up on the screen so he could start singing.

“So she said what’s the problem baby? What’s the problem? I don’t know, well, maybe I’m in love.”

A stupidly wide grin stayed plastered on your mouth as he sang the entire first part of the song and you joined in for the chorus. The second verse was all you, which you absolutely crushed as you found yourself getting lost in the upbeat tune from Shrek 2 and began going all out with your performance.

As the song went into its second bridge, both you and Harry were far too into it by then. The two of you had gotten closer on the stage and were circling each other as you repeated how you were accidentally in love, smirking at each other playfully as you did so. Once the beat picked up again, you broke away from each other and finished up the song with a bang. There was jumping, hair whipping, and an impromptu air guitar all up until the two of you got closer again and sang the last line.

“I’m in love.”

Everyone that was in the pub erupted into cheering once the two of you finished. The waiters, bartenders, as well as your friends and family all stared at the two of you in awe as they clapped and laughed at what had just happened.

You let your gaze trail to Harry, who was busy trying to catch his breath just as badly as you were, but as soon as his eyes met yours; his grin became more full, and he wasted no time in closing the space between the two of you by pulling you in for a kiss. He smirked against your lips, mumbling how good you were, before breaking away and pulling you into his chest for a warm hug.

Once your little moment with one another ended, Harry kept one arm wrapped around your waist and guided you off the stage and back to the table.

“I hope you enjoyed that,” you said to Gemma as you sat back down to gather all your things and pay for your food.

“Was everything I could have ever wanted and more,” she replied while winking at you.

The rest of the table continued conversing about yours and Harry’s performance and how it was a great way to finish off the night, which had you feeling all warm inside.

Just as everyone was finishing paying their bills, one of your friends spoke up once again before everyone started leaving.

“If they were like that into that song just by singing it at karaoke, I could only imagine what they’d be like singing it at their wedding.”

At that, your eyes widened, and a blush started burning its way across your cheeks. Harry noticed your sudden shift in attitude, and couldn’t help but smile at the thought as he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“I mean, it is basically our trademarked song by this point, yeah? Would definitely want it played at our wedding.”

“You’ve thought about our wedding?” You asked quietly enough just so he would hear.

“Lots of times,” he replied nonchalantly. “No rush, but I already know it’s gonna be the greatest day of my life if m’being honest. That is if you were to say yes.”

“Well, you haven’t given me a reason not to say yes, yet,” you told him smugly before leaning in to peck his lips. “But it’s too soon for that.”

“I know,” he agreed with a soft smile. “But also hope you know that I’m willing to wait as long as it takes for you to say yes.”

With that, you simply nodded, but couldn’t stop grinning like a total idiot. The two of you then got ready to leave and parted ways with your friends. You continued smiling to yourself as the two of you drove back to Harry’s flat before eventually diving into more intimate activities. However, the giddy feeling returned soon after you were done as you curled up against his bare chest and began thinking more about your future with him; feeling quite content with the thought of being with him forever before drifting off into a deep sleep.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles smut #harry styles preferences #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #1dff #god it's been a while since I wrote for this series #ail #ail!concepts

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sagesparrow394 · 5 years

Text

Fat Bottomed Guys (You Make the Rockin’ World Go Round)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

AU: Human, College, Chubby Logan

Ships: Intrulogical, background Remile and Patton x Virgil x Roman

Summary: Logan wasn’t all too keen with his birthday surprise being a karaoke night at a bar. However, he was very surprised when someone, somehow, seemed to find him attractive, changing the lyrics of a song to show it.

Warning: Sympathetic Remus and Deceit, blood mention

——————

Logan Berry took in the scene before him. A bar was in front of him, music booming from inside. Posters in the windows said that that night, the 7th August, was a karaoke night.

His friends had taken him, Logan “I don’t like to sing” Berry, to a karaoke night for his birthday.

Well, this was just great.

“So...?” Emile Picani smiled from where he was stood behind his friend, waiting for Logan’s reaction.

“I’m not sure you thought this through. I’m not exactly a karaoke person.”

“You don’t need to be to enjoy it,” Remy Sleep replied. “It’s equally as fun to drink a bunch, and just watch your friends and strangers making fools of themselves. It’s what I usually do.”

“But not tonight as you promised you’d sing with me!”

“I know, Em, and I will.”

Ethan Dee Ceitful placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Lo, I promise you’re gonna have fun. Remy’s right, it can be fun even if you don’t sing. Plus, I heard a few people from our college are gonna be here. Might be good to meet some people before tomorrow.”

Logan thought about it for a moment. He guessed meeting some people would be good... and it would be entertaining to listen to music and spend some time with his friends.

“Okay, lets go.”

Later, the four of them were sat at a table in the bar, drinks in front of them, and listening to the current song. A guy with tanned skin, red-brown hair, wearing a red crop top and white skinny jeans was currently singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight, seeming to be mostly directing towards to two others sat at a nearby table, one of which was blushing and smiling, and the other had their hood pulled up to hide their face. The third person at the table, who looked near identical to the person singing, only they had a moustache and a silver streak in their hair, was laughing his ass off.

“Hey, how about us four go and join the queue to sing a song?” Emile asked, pulling Logan’s attention back to the conversation.

“Um, no. No no. I thought I didn’t have to sing, and I’m not going to.”

“Hm... Not even if it were Hamilton?” Remy smirked. “Rap and history? I mean... there are four of us. Three Schuyler Sisters and one Aaron Burr.”

Logan considered for a moment, before sighing. “I dunno... I mean, you know how I am in front of crowds. There’s a reason I joined the astronomy club at high school and not the debate club, despite my talent in debating. I just don’t like having so much focus on my bo... on me.”

Emile, Remy and Ethan shared glances, seeming to have a silent conversation. They then proceeded to finish their drinks, before all standing up. Before Logan could ask what was going on, he was pulled to his feet and started to be pulled through the bar by his friends.

“Um, guys, what are you doing?”

“We’re gonna help you get over your confidence issues,” Remy replied as they joined the short queue for the karaoke machine.

“Huh? What, no, I can’t-“

“Lo, you shouldn’t let your body hold you back,” Emile comforted. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s perfect the way it is.”

“Wha-what? I’m not insecure about my body...”

None of the others were buying it. Logan sighed. “Okay, maybe I am a little... Okay, a lot. But I don’t think this is going to work. It’s too much at once!”

Ethan shrugged. “It’s best to face your fears before they become a phobia. You got this, Lo. We’ll be up there with you.”

Logan didn’t look so sure. But, unfortunately, he didn’t get long enough to find a good time to run away, as soon, he found himself stood with a microphone in hand, eyes on him and his friends.

Oh god.

Emile was scrolling through the karaoke machine, looking for the song. Eventually, with an “Aha!” he found it. “Ready, guys?”

Remy and Ethan nodded, and Logan took a deep breath. No way he was getting out of this now.

Emile pressed play on the song, and the instrumental of Schuylar Sister began. Ethan came in a moment later, singing Burr’s part. There was a “whoop!” from the crowd, specifically from the guy who had been singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight. Guess he was a Hamilton fan.

While Ethan rapped, Emile whispered, “Lo, you’re Angelica, I’m Eliza, Rem, you’re Peggy.”

Before Logan could protest, he had to come in singing. He took a deep breath as Ethan finished his first part, before coming in.

At the start of the song, he was tense, and held back. But as time went by, he just kept telling himself to pretend he was just singing with his friends and the crowd wasn’t there. He started to loosen up, and stop holding back.

The end of the song seemed like it came too soon. Usually, when he did have to do something in front of a crowd, time felt like it slowed, not sped up.

When the song finished, applause rang out, and Logan smiled... before hurrying off back to the table. The quicker he got out of the limelight the better.

The others followed behind.

“Lo, that was awesome!” Emile grinned. “You were great! Feel more confident now?”

“Not at all.” Logan went to take a seat before pausing. “I probably shouldn’t have the rest of my drink. There’s a chance it’s been drugged.”

“Good call. I’ll get us another round.” Ethan turned and headed to the bar.

“In the meantime, Em, how about we do a duet?” Remy suggested, wrapping an arm around Emile’s waist. Emile giggled.

“Steven Universe? Something Entirely New?”

“Sounds perfect.” Remy pecked his boyfriend’s lips, before the two went back to the queue for the karaoke machine.

And so, Logan was left alone at the table. It may have felt terrible, having his body shown off to everyone as he sung - he should have worn his baggy sweater - but he was glad he did it. Singing with his friends had been fun, as much as he would have preferred they had done it at a karaoke place with a private room.

At least it was something he could knock off the bucket list. He’d done it once, he didn’t need to do it again.

He rolled up the sleeves of his flannel shirt, starting to get a little hot. He didn’t want to take it off so he was just in the tank top he was wearing underneath though. Too exposed for his liking...

He didn’t pay much attention to the singer after they had gone up, but the one after that drew his attention. He recognised the drum beat as the song began: Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen.

However, as the guy started singing, Logan’s whole attention was brought to it. You see, the guy singing got the words wrong. He didn’t sing ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’. He sang ‘Fat Bottomed Guys’.

Logan turned to look at the stage. The guy there was the moustached doppelgänger of the guy who’d sung Can You Feel the Love tonight.

And he was looking right at Logan as he sung.

As the two made eye contact, the singing guy sent Logan a wink. Logan felt his face heating up at this. No way. This was not happening. This guy was not singing about him. He probably just misheard the lyrics, and the wink was probably just an acknowledgement due to making eye contact.

But, nope, as the chorus came round again, and the guy sung the words ‘Fat Bottomed Guys’.

Logan didn’t know what to say or do. This guy was literally flirting with him through song.

Now that Logan thought about it, he’d never been flirted with before. No one was really interested in chubby guys. He had no idea what you were supposed when you’re being flirted with. Run? That seemed like the best option right now, just run away and avoid this whole situation.

Oh no. He couldn’t. The guy had finished the song and was walking up to him.

Logan felt his face getting hotter and hotter as the guy came closer. Oh god, he was really cute. His hair was messy, but it was a messy that actually looked good. His eyes were a bright emerald, and had a slim yet toned frame.

“Hey,” the guy smiled, holding out his hand. “Remus Duke. Nice to meet ya.”

Logan took Remus’ hand, shaking it. “Um, Logan Berry...”

“You know, I must say...” Remus took a seat opposite Logan. “That was the best performance of Schuyler Sisters I’ve ever heard. And I saw it on Broadway. You’re really talented.”

Logan felt his face somehow even heat up even more, like it was going to burst into flames in any second. There was no way this was happening, no way this was real. “O-okay, you can stop now...”

Remus’ eyebrows furrowed. “Stop what...?”

“This! Pretending you think I’m hot or whatever. I get it, ‘haha, look at that guy, he’s fat and lonely, let’s try and get his hopes up and then bring them crashing down so he starts crying and makes a complete fool of himself’. I’ve seen through your charade, you don’t have to keep it up.”

Remus looked horrified at this. “Jesus Christ... Who the fuck’s done that to you in the past? I need their names and addresses so I can knock them out with the morning star I stole from a museum.”

“...What?”

“It’s actually a really funny story. Me, my twin, Roman, and his boyfriends were at the museum, I started to get a little pissed at being a third- well, I guess fourth wheel, actually-”

“No,” Logan cut over him. “Um, sorry, I wasn’t saying ‘what’ to that... though I’m kind of interested now. I meant more, ‘What? You’re actually serious about this?’“

“Well, yeah, of course. I’m only a dick to my friends, not complete strangers. Plus, do you think I’d put in the effort of singing an entire song for a joke?”

Logan shrugged. “One guy went to the effort of pretending to be bi, asking me out to prom, rigging the ballot so I got picked as prom king, and - I can only assume he’d either read or watched Carrie recently - dumped pigs’ blood over me. Claimed it was the ‘last thing I needed to complete my transformation into a pig’. He was arrested, of course, but it’s safe to say, I’m glad to be out of high school.”

“...Jesus.”

“Yeah... You’d think I was the only fat person in school. I wasn’t, I was just the only one who wasn’t confident about my body, so I was an easy target...”

“Gosh...” Remus could hardly believe what he was hearing. “I’m so sorry... You must have gone to a horrible school.”

Logan shrugged again. “It wasn’t the school itself, just the other students. I had good friends to help me through, though.”

“That’s good. And, it makes you feel better, having more body fat doesn’t make you a pig. If anything, I’m the pig. My room has been called a sty on multiple occasions.” He paused as Logan giggled a little. “Nah, body fat just makes you softer, which means you give better cuddles. You’re like a teddy bear! Everyone loves teddy bears.”

Logan smiled a little, blushing. “Thanks..’”He paused. “Oh god, I just realised I’ve been venting my past trauma to a complete stranger... I’m so sorry, I-“

“No, no, it’s okay,” Remus reassured. “I get it. I didn’t exactly have the greatest childhood experiences either. Parents divorced when I was young when my dad realised he was gay. Roman stayed with Dad, Mom dragged me off with her. She was pretty neglectful, so I ended up a little messed up... She couldn’t handle me and dumped me back with dad just before my freshman year. I didn’t fit into the happy trio that was my dad, his new husband, and Roman. I just had to force my way into a gap in the puzzle that didn’t exist... But the point is, I understand your pain, and I don’t blame you for wanting to vent it out.”

Logan smiled a little. “Thanks...” He looked over to the table where Remus’ twin was standing up. “I’m guessing you and Roman managed to find a way to get along again.”

“Yep. Which was, honestly, surprising. I think it’s his boyfriends. Patton’s making him more kind and open, and Virgil’s making him realise dark and edgy can be cool.”

“Remus!” Roman called. “We’re heading off! Come on!”

“What?! But the night’s still so young!”

“And we’re also moving into our dorms tomorrow, we’re heading home!”

“Ugh, fine...” Remus stood up. He grabbed a napkin and pulled a pen from his pocket. He scrawled something down before sliding the napkin to Logan. “Call me, Teddy Bear.” With a wink, he turned and walked off.

Logan watched him walk away, before picking up the napkin. There was Remus’ number, along with a message:

My Fat Bottomed Guy, you really do make the rockin’ world go round ;)

- The Duke

Logan smiled, face flushing. He slipped the napkin into his pocket, tucking it in properly so he wouldn’t lose it.

Ethan came back over, drinks in hand. As he put them down, he noticed Logan’s expression. “What’s got you all red in the face?”

“Oh, um, it’s probably just the drinks,” Logan responded. “You know I’m a bit of a lightweight.”

“We’ve been having non-alcoholic drinks. We’re underage.”

“... Right. I’ve been having Coke, and you know I am a sugar lightweight. I’ve probably just got a bit of a sugar high.”

“You have the biggest sweet tooth known to man, you have sugar all the time and never have a sugar high. But you obviously don't want to tell me the truth, so I won’t pry.”

“Thanks...”

Logan looked around his half of the dorm room, fully decorated and all his stuff put away. Yes, this was adequate.

He sat down on his bed. This was going to be his home for the next four years. Well, unless he moved out to live off campus with some friends in later years, which he likely would. It depended how long his he and his friends would be able to tolerate their roommates.

His eyes wandered to his desk. Led there was the note from the night before, Remus’ number as well as the message from him on it.

Logan stood up and stepped over to his mirror. He lifted his shirt, exposing his belly. He poked and prodded at his fat.

What did that man see in him? In this? How on Earth could someone be attracted to him? He was a pig. A whale. A-

“Huh. Well, isn’t this a nice coincidence. Hey, Teddy Bear.”

Logan turned around, eyes widening. His roommate placed the box on his bed before turning back to Logan. Remus smiled. “You know, a crop top would be a good look for you.”

Logan’s face flushed a little, pulling his shirt back down. “You’re my roommate, huh?”

“Looks like it. Which, I must say, is a great turn of events, wouldn’t you say?”

Logan hummed. “If you hadn’t told me yesterday that you often leave your room a pig’s sty, maybe I’d agree with you.”

“Damn! Didn’t know you were sassy as well as cute. And judging by your decor, smart too. You’re the whole package. How has no one snatched you up yet?”

The other boy’s face heated up more. “I guess most people just focus on my exterior instead of my personality. And those who don’t mostly just think I’m a nerd.”

“And those people are asshole,” Remus responded, hanging up one of his posters which appeared to be for a very gory comic book.

Logan smiled. “Can I just ask... ‘The Duke’?”

“I know. Cool nickname, huh?” Remus replied, causing Logan to roll his eyes. He then continued, “Say, Lo, me Ro, Pat and Virge were all gonna head out tonight. Heard the bar’s having another karaoke night, and all college students get a happy hour deal. Two for one on all drinks. You and your friends oughta come along.”

Logan considered it, before nodding. “Yeah. That sounds like fun. Well, as long as we don’t stay out to late. Classes start tomorrow after all.”

“Sweet. I already can’t wait.”

Remus was the first to go up and sing a song that evening when they were at the bar. He and Logan had been conversing happily and getting to know each other better until then.

Now Remus was gone in the queue, he turned to the other conversations at the table. Roman and Ethan were talking about their favourite musicals - turns out they were both theatre majors. Patton and Emile were talking about cartoons, and Remy and Virgil were complaining about their roommates to each other.

The two friend groups meshed together really well, you could hardly tell this was their first days meeting. It was nice to see.

“Looks like it’s Remus’ turn,” Roman pointed out, drawing everyone’s attention to the front of the bar.

Remus scrolled through the songs. He finally found the one he was looking for, selecting it. As the instrumental began playing, he sent a wink to Logan, before singing.

“I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can’t deny! When a guy walks in with a chubby soft waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung!”

Logan’s face burned. He honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe both.

The others at the table had obviously chosen the first option.

“Damn, Lo, didn’t know you had a secret admirer,” Ethan smirked.

“Wouldn’t exactly say that’s secret,” Virgil replied.

Logan sighed, but couldn’t help but smile.

That mess of a human singing to the room right now would be his roommate for the next few years.

And honestly? Logan couldn’t be happier about that.

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General taglist: @tacohippy56900 @ibasicallyjustreblogeverything @pollylittlehigher-littlelower

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