#i just also don't subscribe to the camp that takes that all the way to the 'dean never deserved him fuck u dean' end

[pyreshe]

once again i am thinking about luke c.astellan,

[ravisinghs-wife]

The seven + Nico and Reyna and their red flags ✼

warnings: not proofread, swearwords, lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: okay I'm sorry I didn't post for like two months, ngl I simply forgot that this blog existed😭

notes to the fic: reader is written as gn (one mention off y/n), but pls don't read Nico's part if u identify as female! :)

masterlist

Percy

he's always barefoot during spring and summer

you'll never catch him with shoes on because he things that they are "blocking the fresh air his toes need"

at least they never get that dirty because he can't survive five minutes without jumping in the sea

when he was younger sally had to force him wear shoes to school, to the parkt et cetera and he was always so angry at her after that because he hated it with all his passion

that anger quickly faded after she baked some blue cookies

after growing up he learned that he should wear shoes to school et cetera but the second he is at camp he gets rid of them

after you dressed it he delegated that he always washed them and kept them clean so there was no wrong doing it and that it's actually healthy for your feet

Annabeth

listen, I love annabeth

but she's always mansplaining

Like u could be talking about ur close family that she only met once and she‘d say something like „actually, i had the impression that…“

It’s so annoying

she doesn't even mean it mean or something

but it also could be just a conversasiation that she isn't even involved in and she'll just randomly pop up and mansplain the topic

jason

That boy doesn’t have any basic knowledge

Like he is at camp jupiter since he’s three or something

I‘m not sure if they even knew what they where teaching him

Like that boy doesn’t know algebra

You could be talking about something in history and how deeply that event infected the way society lives now and he‘d be like „what do you mean?“

And he’s serious

Everytime Percy and Leo make fun of him for not knowing something he‘ll run to you and beg you to explain it to him

Most of the time you make a bit fun of him too because a 17 year old boy who doesn’t know what the french Revolution was is kinda funny

He knows that you‘re just joking though

hazel

I love her but she's like one of the extra careful mom's whose world break when their child hears a swear word

every time you are someone near both of ou swears she has this weird shocked and impressed look and looks around the room

you had to stop swearing around her bc she always starts blushing and looks at you in awe

they don't even have to be the "bad" swear words, it could be something like shit and she'd still be shocked

you had to learn to find alternatives like fudge or fox

she made you browse for the alternatives to swear words for around two hours at midnight and made you subscribe to the mommy blogs incase they had "more cool little alternatives"

piper

she's a die hard romance book hater

she always gives you the weird look when you read one or even only look at one at the bookstore

like she doesn't even have a plausible reason besides that they "always have the same ending and are very predictable"

I mean she's right but still

when she was 14 she had an instagram where she just talked shit about romance books because she was bored

it's not even that she doesn't like reading or books that much, she just doesn't like them because they (as already said) have the same ending and because she gor sick of the perfect romantic ending after drew talked night in and out about it

you once convinced her to read your favorite romance book and she tried her best to be nice

she actually didn't find it that bad and liked the ending but she would never admit that to you

leo

that boy either doesn't shower for one week or takes two hour showers

it's a bit better in the summer but especially in winter he never shower because he "would just get dirty later again"

you have to force him too properly shower because he would just forget it again

and when he actually showers for once he takes two hour showers

but especially in summer he's just gonna swim in the lake and call it a day because he basically "got clean already"

frank

I love frank sm but he would 7 in 1 shampoo

he doesn't get why it's bad and insists that it makes his hair shinier

you try to explain it to him once but he just doesn't understand 😪

he also tries to convince you all the time that it's so much better than owning body wach, shampoo and conditioner

nico

is a pop music hater

he always has this annoyed look on his face when you play pop music

he always makes this disappointed dad sigh and says "again?"

nico sounds so disappointed

he secretly loves it about you tho

reyna

she's like a confused mom and never gets jokes

"what do you mean by that, y/n? I never do that"

you try to explain the joke to her but give up after 10 minutes

she's grumpy for the rest of the day because you wouldn't finish explaining it to her

eventually she gives her pride up and asks you again

and after another ten stressful minutes she finally gets it

she kept arguing that what you said doesn't make sense

[noctvrnal9999]

Ascended Astarion, Cazador Szarr and how they are NOT alike (at all)

Some of you probably saw this coming already, that I would go out of my way to talk about the whole "Ascended Astarion is Cazador 2.0" thing because it's such a ridiculous notion. Here it is, my personal take on why I disagree.

First and foremost I will address the whole: "Oh my GOD Astarion follows the Four Rules right from the beginning!" mindset. Here they are, the rules as Vellioth passed them down onto Cazador:

First, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures.

Second, thou shalt obey me in all things.

Third, thou shalt not leave my side unless directed.

Four, thou shalt know that thou art mine.

Rule one is pretty obvious - don't drink blood of thinking creatures. That's one of the tools Cazador used to keep his Spawn subservient and demoralized. We don't get any in-game information that Cazador went back on this rule in any instance whatsoever, seems it was very much set in stone for him. Ascended Astarion (which I will shorthand to AA from this point on) breaks this rule the moment he Ascends with his Blood Bride/Groom. Not only he gives player character his blood (willingly, I will mention), he speaks also about drinking PC's blood and they drinking his:

Already breaking the very first rule he himself had to obey for two centuries. And in-game mechanics support this of course, PC can use Bite action on anyone who is not classified as undead (like Astarion, for example, PC can freely chomp on him if they wish so).

Rule two is also obvious - Cazador compelled his Spawn through his bond as their master. That is evident in the scene where Astarion's siblings attack the camp:

They have no choice but to obey Cazador's command even if they struggle. The only reason Astarion is free because of the tadpole. We could apply same logic to Bride/Groom PC, that Astarion cannot compel PC only because of the tadpole. However, PC can ask Astarion about this:

To which he replies:

The implication here is that he thinks he can compel PC but he's choosing not to. Now, whenever you subscribe to the theory I presented before that he can't compel PC and is lying or not, it's up to you, but if we're taking this line at face-value only it's very very clear - AA is not going to compel PC, to him it's a ridiculous idea (Why would I need to?). He trusts that PC and him are on the same page (and personally I read the second part of his sentence as being cheeky, but maybe that's just me.)

Rule three, just like first two, is simple and easy to understand - don't leave your "master" unless directed. Cazador sent out his Spawn to lure victims for two hundred years, however, Astarion, if we believe he can compel PC, is not even attempting to make PC stay by his side (or send them away, for that matter). All he says is this:

And this is in conversation about not being able to walk in the sun, which is about his newfound powers being extended to PC. Nothing in any dialogues (that I can remember) suggests that he commands PC to stay by his side. The only such dialogue option appears in the epilogue (keep in mind that epilogue was added later) and if you legitimately argue with AA (I would never do it but there's some crazies out there, stay safe xoxo) but to be completely honest you can ask for your freedom:

To which he replies:

Even if we take this as "daunting" as some people portray it to be, we still see AA acting more like a brat-tamer than a cruel master Cazador has been. Try putting these lines into Cazador's mouth and tell me they work lol.

Rule four is self explanatory. And this one we can definitely apply to AA. From the moment of Ascension he insists confirming to PC that well, they are his, but he also emphasizes that he is theirs in turn (if blood drinking line is anything to go by). Vampires by nature are possessive, it makes sense that AA feels the need to speak about it. PC is the only person he ever loved, now he's expressing that love, albeit maybe a tad intensively (according to some).

But on the flip side, where AA can be seen as possessive as Cazador, AA does 180 and shares his power and status with PC. There's an incredible amount of lines in the game where he speaks about being equals, sharing power and standing side by side, unlike Cazador.

And these are just couple from same conversation, there's so many more, but pay close attention how many times he says "we" or "you and me". PC is not just a spawn to him, not someone to be controlled but a true equal, sharing power, wealth and goals.

Which leads me to another point that needs addressing and emphasizing - AA is still a vampire, just like Cazador. Yes, these two creatures are power-hungry, that's in their nature, in any vampire's nature. I'll draw attention to the fact that even as a Spawn, Astarion is hungry for power and freedom. Once he has freedom, his goal still remains power. While Cazador's goal was to become Ascendant, AA's is well, world domination, basically. He surely has the time if not power to try and achieve that. However, this doesn't make him "just like" his former master, it just makes him a vampire.

And let's not forget that even before becoming a vampire Astarion was already power-hungry, which is clear from his choice of career as a Magistrate. Albeit a far shout from world domination, he still sought positions of power even while alive.

So to summarize before this becomes too lengthy - AA is simply a vampire. Not a reflection of his former master. They share some traits because they belong to same caste by the end of Astarion's personal quest, but that doesn't make him any more similar to Cazador than any other Vampire Lord or even Strahd.

Simply put - AA is a monster. Vampires are classified as monsters and they are Lawfully Evil aligned in DnD. Just because he has unpleasant traits, it doesn't mean he took them from Cazador. It just means that he has unpleasant traits. Make the man accountable for his own flaws (or just generic vampire traits), after all, as Ascendant, I'm sure he take it :)

[sundrop-writes]

Announcing my new fic: Heaven's Gate

Heaven's Gate is a long oneshot starring Daryl Dixon and a gender neutral reader character, featuring angst, hurt and comfort, and some fluff.

NOW POSTED!!!!!

In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the prison is attacked by the Governor, and though you both believe the other person is dead, you two end up finding each other at the most unexpected time. This fic is about hope, the human connection, and how love is about more than romance - it's about how people take pieces of each other and grow with them, never truly able to forget each other.

This fic is going to be a longer oneshot that is currently about 15k long - and will likely be longer by the time it has gone through editing. It is 80% of the way done in my drafts (not including editing), and I hope to have it posted by April 30th - which is a tentative date that may change. If you want to know for certain when the fic is posted, you can follow me here and turn on notifcations or you can subscribe to me on AO3 to get an email notification when the fic is posted. I am really excited to share this fic with all of you 💖.

Below is a short preview of the fic - so if you wanna get a better sense for the upcoming fic you can read it. If you enjoy this preview and you're excited for what the fic holds, please let me know!

Also an important note: with my gender neutral reader fics, I don't use any references to gender whatsoever (this is not a 'GN afab' fic). And in this fic in particular, I didn't use any pronouns (other than you/yours) or gendered terms for the reader - and at points where the terms they/them were used, I made it purposefully vague so that the dialogue could be referring to the whole group as 'they' or just the reader. I want my gender neutral fics to be enjoyed by everyone - cis women, cis men, gender non conforming people, trans people - every kind of fanfiction reader.

I am making this post for two major reasons - one, I want to generate as much excitement for oneshots as there is for series. Especially for oneshots that are longer than 10k because those take a lot of time and effort. If a series is like a TV show, then long oneshots are like a feature film. And two - nobody seems to read my pinned post where I announce new upcoming fics anyway, so I might as well make posts like these so that people can know what to expect from me. And hopefully you guys will get excited about my upcoming fics this way. And when I tag these posts with the relevant tags, people interested in those topics can follow me to anticipate the fic if they want to read it.

Heaven's Gate (Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader) - Preview

Preview Word Count: 1,800

Warnings: no pronouns used for the reader other than you/yours; there are major plot spoilers for The Walking Dead if you are watching the show for the first time - spoilers for Season 2 all the way up through Season 5; typical warnings for TWD - mentions of death, emotional despair; all of these themes and emotions are expanded upon in the full fic.

...

“Daryl!” 

You called out his name as you jogged up toward the stables, and he stopped in his tracks, waiting for you to catch up with him. 

“Daryl, hey.” You greeted him with a small smile. “Rick told me you’d be up here.” 

He grunted in reply. “Yeah. ‘m gonna take a horse out. Make better ground t’ look for the girl.” 

Your stomach clenched at him mentioning her. 

The group was supposed to be headed out towards Fort Bennet - supposed to be finding refuge at the hopefully safe military base. Instead, you were all setting up camp at the very reluctant Hershel Greene’s farm, not straying too far from where you had lost one of your own in the hopes of finding her. 

But that was why you had come to talk to Daryl in the first place. 

Sophia had become like a sister to you in the few short months that you had known her, and though it was unlikely, you were hopeful that she was alive - that she would be found. And you did believe that Daryl would be the one to find her. 

“How’s the trail?” You asked. “Do you think you know which way she headed? You - you can be honest with me.” 

You hesitated on the last part. But you did want his honesty more than anything. And you knew that he was never one to sugar-coat things. Even if you hadn’t told him that, he would have given you the truth anyway. 

“Trail’s a little muddy.” He said, doling out that honesty. “‘m gon follow the river. It’s her biggest landmark out there, so she’ll probably be somewhere around it.” 

You smiled at him. And then, you remembered - 

“I brought you something.” You noted, reaching for the back pocket of your jeans. 

Daryl watched with quiet curiosity as you pulled out a piece of paper - when you showed it to him, he quickly realized that it was a half-used set of stickers. 

“These are some of the stickers that I got for Sophia,” You explained. “My mom always used to tell me that cardinals are good luck.” 

You peeled off a sticker of a bright red bird - as much of a nature man as he was, Daryl was never one for bird watching. He didn’t care about identifying certain species of birds unless he could shoot and eat them. But he quickly reasoned that this must be the cardinal that you spoke of. 

“Give me your bow.” You said, shoving the rest of the sticker sheet into your back pocket again and holding out your hand expectantly. 

“I don’t need no luck.” He replied, voice full of snark. 

“Just give it.” You replied - equally snarky, equally stubborn. 

Daryl sighed and tugged his bow’s strap over his head, presenting it to you. You placed the sticker on the bow’s handle, in one of the places where it wasn’t as worn down from him holding it. 

“There,” You said, giving it back to him with a smile. “Now you’re all set.” 

It was more for you than it was for him - a token of good faith and protection. The idea that you could do something to bring Sophia home when you felt so powerless. 

Daryl let out a harsh sound - somewhere between a laugh and a sarcastic snort as he walked away. “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome,” You replied brightly, edging on sarcastic once again. 

… 

When the prison was attacked, Daryl got out with Beth. 

He almost couldn’t stand her bright eyes, big eyes staring at him, waiting for answers - her chirpy little voice, prodding at him, demanding that they ‘follow the trail’ and go look for everyone else. Telling him that he was a tracker, that he could find them. As if it was his damn responsibility just because he had the skills to get it done. 

It was all too reminiscent of you, telling him that he could find Sophia. That it wasn’t an ‘if’ - it was a ‘when’. 

Perhaps that was what got him off his ass and doing what he did best - reading the dirt. 

“What’re you doin’?” He asked, staring at the girl curiously as she went to one of the bushes and rushed to pick berries from branches. Had she not gotten enough to eat that morning? 

“They’ll be hungry when we find them.” Beth told him confidently. 

Of course. That undefeatable streak of optimism. 

Daryl knew that blueberries weren’t your favorite - but he should have something to give you. He would be too busy tracking the footprints to properly hunt for squirrels or rabbits and clean them for you. So, he found himself pulling a large bandana from his back pocket and offering it to Beth - something to hold the berries in to keep them safe as an offering for you. 

“Here.” He grunted at her. 

Beth smiled at him. 

It was one of the last smiles she gave him for a long time. 

When they came across those bodies splayed out beside the tracks - any sense of hope was crushed inside of him. The picture you had gifted him was heavy inside his breast pocket, and he hated that tears threatened his eyes - even if he knew that none of those bodies belonged to you. There was no trace of you there. 

The days started to blur into each other, and Daryl couldn’t get you off his mind. 

One hazy evening, as they both stared into the fire with dead looks on their faces, he took the drawing out of his pocket and unfolded it. 

For good luck. 

He didn’t believe in luck - because it didn’t exist. The world was fucked. Nobody was lucky. You and your good luck were dead. 

He tossed the drawing into the fire, and it was only a moment, when the corner of it had barely caught, when Beth snatched it out. She stomped on it with her boot, successfully saving it. 

“Don’t do that.” She hissed at him. 

Daryl snatched it from her, and crumbled it up, tossing it aside. He let out a grunt, but refused to look at her. 

“That was from Y/N, wasn’t it?” She posed. 

He could feel her imposing stare as she waited for an answer. 

He didn’t give her one. 

“You can’t burn them just because you think they’re dead.” Beth sighed. “You can’t burn up memories. We’re gonna find them. Y/N, and Maggie, and Michonne, and - and everyone.” 

Daryl scoffed. “Yeah. Cause that’s gon’ happen.” 

Beth rolled her eyes, but didn’t speak any further on the subject. 

After she had fallen asleep - when the fire was dull, Daryl picked up the crumbled ball and smoothed it out again. The charred corner hadn’t even touched your bird. He felt like a fool doing it, just as much of a fool as he accused you of being, but he folded it neatly - well, as neatly as he could - and then put it back into his breast pocket again. 

But that was the thing - Daryl wished that he could. He wished he could burn up those memories. 

That you would stop haunting him. Then he wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore.

… 

“Can I see it again?” Beth asked, suddenly changing the subject. 

Again, this was a confusing little whip for Daryl - something that clearly only made sense to Beth in her own drunken mind. 

“See what?” Daryl replied. 

“The picture.” Beth answered. “The one you tried to burn.” 

Daryl felt a pinch of guilt surge over him at the thought. Oddly enough, this was the one time he would be willing to admit that Beth was right - you can’t burn up memories. 

“It was Y/N, wasn’t it? That drew it.” Beth added on, her words slurring slightly - she lifted the mason jar of booze to her lips again and Daryl was tempted to snatch it away from her. 

Instead, he found his hand drifting to his breast pocket and reaching to take the picture out. He presented it to Beth, who put down her drink to unfold it - she stared at the picture fondly under the brightness of the moonlight, tracing a finger over the slightly faded details. 

“You know… my daddy used to tell me that a cardinal is like an angel.” Beth said, recognizing the bird from her father’s teachings on the farm. “Someone - someone you loved who passed away, watching over you from heaven.” 

“Y/N said they was good luck.” Daryl replied. 

Beth shrugged. “Same thing.” 

It was this thought that kept Daryl going for a long time. The idea that even if you were dead, you were watching over him somehow. He sure as hell didn’t believe that someone like Merle would be an angel - but you, you definitely were. And even if it was a waste of your eternal life, you would be determined to watch over Daryl - to make sure that he was safe, well-guided. 

You would make sure that he was lucky. 

That thought alone carried him through the long journey to D.C. 

It was something that lingered in his mind as the group hunkered down in a random barn - as he spotted something carved into one of the wooden beams holding the place up. Even though it wasn’t colored, he could have sworn that the long tail and pointed head of the silhouette indicated that the carving was meant to be cardinal. Of course. 

Who knows who had stayed in the barn before them - if it had been left there by a weary traveler, or even put there by someone who had used the barn before the turn. But Daryl could have sworn that you - your ghost, your angelic hand - had led him to this very spot. 

It was a thought that gave him strength as he held the doors up - helped to keep them from caving in while the storm raged outside. 

Your luck, and your damn bird - you would keep him safe. 

When they reached Alexandria, and they were forced to give up their weapons - Daryl spotted your bird perched on the fence. Bright red, with its pointy head cocked sideways at him. All too knowing, staring at him like it wanted to say something. Just like it had been when he had fallen off the cliff out in the woods when he had been looking for Sophia. 

Oddly enough, it made him feel safe giving up his crossbow - perching it on top of the fully loaded cart of weapons before the awkward, bespeckled woman wheeled it away. 

Rick was still weary of this new place after Terminus, and Daryl understood. He followed Rick’s lead. Especially because he couldn’t tell Rick that he had a good feeling about this place because he saw a damn bird. 

But even if it was just in spirit, he felt you there. He knew that it was the home you had chosen for them.

[fairuzfan]

i’ve seen so many people simply claim that jewish palestinians point blank do not exist and it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of judaism/jewish history to claim they do… 🫥 deeply exhausting takes on this website

That's the thing is that it's just a blatant rewrite of history. And I'm not saying this to tokenize Jewish Palestinians or anything or make them a construct, it's just as someone who wonders at what point "Palestinian" ends and what point "Jewish" begins or vise versa. Like it's a question of identity. If I decide, myself, that I want to convert to judiasm... well right now, I can't as Palestinians aren't allowed to convert which is weird as hell, but if I could and wanted to — am I giving up a part of identity and switching it out for another one? Am I allowed to keep both identities together? If so, how do I fit into my community at large? What decides me, a 3rd generation refugee who has never been to Palestine, as "Palestinian" enough? Someone can deny my Palestinian heritage because there are arbitrary definitions being put in place without the consultation of all community members.

Like what's the point of this separation? I genuinely don't see a reason beyond segregation purposes. Some people say that it's to keep Jewish people safe (which I don't believe but to go along with this argument), But that safety relies on segregation and division of a society. Which obviously no real safety can occur, but also like you can't lie and say that it's something it's not. You can't say a society that makes distinctions based on identity legally is in any way democratic or just for all people for that matter. Because even if there are efforts to make people equal, when you have to say "Palestinians and Jews are equal..." Well you just straight up named the two groups you think have a difference between each other. That implicitly requires the reader to perceive a divide.

And you can argue, "let's just call everyone Israeli and make no distinctions between Palestinian and Jewish people," but Palestinians in Israel would never agree to that unilaterally, even if we are operating on a two state solution (which will never happen but for arguments sake). They'd rather not abandon their cultural identification. And even then, when the society is built of Jewish supremacy with the express purpose of erasing Palestinians codified in their founding documents, is that equality, knowing an indigenous population had to give up their identity to subscribe to perceived peace? Isn't that inherently violent and anti-equality?

Indiginiety, in Palestine, as i dont feel confident to speak on other peoples cultures and struggles, has to do with your relationship to colonialism as well as the land. For me, an indigenous person who has suffered the effects of displacement of colonialism and who regularly watches from afar as their land gets tormented, to hear that the only way I can go back to visit that land is to deny my centuries worth of ancestors buried on PALESTINIAN land, then I'd be incredibly heartbroken. This is even from my own perspective, which I consider the least important in my family line. My grandmother should be able to see her father's burial place without worrying about whether or not she's considered Palestinian or fully colonized as Israeli. My mother should be able to stroll the lands she's always heard stories about without worrying that the very essense of her personhood, the thing shes been denied her entire life having to grow up in refugee camp, as a palestinian is being denied in totality at the end of her struggle. People in refugee camps should be able to go back without worrying about where they fall in the world hierarchies of weirdly defined terms.

So like what's the real purpose with this distinction, exactly?? Any sort of society which operates on some basis of understanding that it is "for" a specific group of people and not anyone else is inherently flawed.

And like, again, Jewish Palestinians are a demographic that exist, I'm not saying this as a gotcha or construct, I am asking this for myself who has stakes in the matter of how this question is answered and dealt with in this larger framework. Would I stop being Palestinian if I decide one day to convert to judiasm? Am I "Palestinian enough" to receive the right of return based on the definitions of Palestinians you come up with in an Israeli society? If I'm excluded in any way, then yeah, I'm going to be angry about it. Most people would be. The issue is that I don't see a way to go about answering these questions without inevitably excluding someone or some group, if not in the definition, in the ways we form our communities after the fact.

[blackjackkent]

Back to camp, because after the fleshpit adventures, everyone is fucking wrecked.

Karlach, of course, has stuff to say, because she wasn't present in the meat basement for the big Gortash reveal.

(I tend to subscribe to the headcanon that everyone left at camp is able to view what's going on with the main party through the tadpole connection, and I feel very bad for everyone else who was in camp with Karlach while that reveal was going down. There are absolutely scorch marks around the camp and splattered supplies from her throwing things around.

I'm also thinking I'm going to go ahead and kick in the full-party mod once we hit Rivington. I was waiting until we hit the Bhaalspawn reveal to try and avoid bugging some things out but that's further away than I expected and I really wanna have Jaheira in the party ASAP. I *think* it will be okay, but if the cutscene in question doesn't pop as planned I can always remove the mod again.)

"You saw Gortash, didn't you? What the fuck was he doing down there? Is all this because of him? The tadpole? The Absolute? HOW?!"

She sounds so agitated. :(

"I don't know how this plot fits together yet," Rakha says curtly. "But we *will* stop him." Her vengeance against Ketheric kept her going this far; now, it seems, it's Gortash's turn - for her own benefit and for Karlach's.

Karlach is barely listening, still caught up in her own anger.

"I was his bodyguard. I looked after him with my life. I trusted him more than anything," she snarls, her teeth bared like an animal as she looks back at a string of miserable memories. "He gave me away to Zariel just for kicks. He ruined my life just when it was starting! And now he'd use up the entire Sword Coast."

Fire flares around her body, a puff of heat blasting into Rakha's face. "He has to die," she roars. "And I'm gonna be the one who kills him!"

Rakha has an uncharacteristically sad sort of look on her face during this little speech.

It's interesting, really - her seeing this from Karlach, and coming on the heels of the destructive rage she saw from Aylin against Ketheric's dead body.

These are not people she sees as like her, generally. Aylin is an emissary of a goddess of light. Karlach is eternally good-natured, kind, generous - all things Rakha by nature is not.

And yet both of them have moments of incandescent, destructive, murderous rage, when pushed to it sufficiently by circumstance.

Perhaps the beast in her head is not so unique as she thinks. Perhaps everyone has one, but they slumber more deeply while Rakha's wakes at the slightest sound and destroys everything in its path. She isn't sure if this makes her feel less broken or more so.

Whatever the case... this is, at least, something to which she can turn her bloodlust with purpose.

"We'll do it together," she says, her voice a quiet rasp in comparison to Karlach's roaring fury. "Whatever it takes."

"He can't get away with what he's done," Karlach growls. The flames around her body start to ease a little, though her eyes still pulse with it. "To me. To us. He won't get away with it!"

A pause. She groans softly, rubbing at her chest as the engine's flare slowly dies down. "I can feel it," she mutters bitterly. "The engine. It's getting hotter. Louder. It's going to blow, if we don't find another way to fix it."

She scowls. "You know, Zariel may have put the fucking thing in, but Gortash gave her the go-ahead. You expect this shit from devils, but not from the people you care about..."

She trails off, rubs at her head. Rakha can see her struggling for control, for her usual jocular good nature. But it is isn't in reach just now, and her jaw works with tight, visceral fury.

"Let's get to the city. Got business there I'm highly fucking keen to attend to."

[horce-divorce]

We don't really have a deadline to leave other than "sometime when the weather is nicer," but generally speaking we have about 2 months to either find a new car or fix our setup for the summer. If we can't swap it out we'll still be okay out there, it's just so exhausting to have to move our stuff around constantly to make it fit inside a Murano. We can NOT stealth camp with this setup, it's boondocking only, which makes things a lot more complex, and we can't even really fit all of the supplies we actually need with us in there at all times. We also can't take anyone else in the car with us when we've got it set up for camp, which can make things weird in a pinch at times, too.

I've posted this before, but here's a couple pics of what we're working with: the whole house from the outside, and the view from our bed when its set up. I could probably keep doing this indefinitely if it was just me, but with both of us and all our supplies in here it's pretty tricky.

I've never sold a car before, and I know mine is NOT worth the full blue book value, but if I could get even 1/4 of it I'm pretty sure we could buy an equally used van with that. But I also have never bought a car bc my dad passed this one down to me... I know you need to, like, check the frame for rust, among other things? but idk how to identify other big deal breakers.

Anyway... saw the notif for ~60 days and I just got ponderous. I'm working on some posts for Ko-Fi right now as well, thinking about what kind of art and other incentives I'll be able to keep offering from camp this summer.

I've been trying to post more on Insta, too, as much as I hate it... I've sworn off all other social media and I don't really want my tumblr attached to my IRL stuff as much as possible (i know it already is to a certain degree, i just try to keep things tidy), so I guess Insta is where I'll be for now, unless a worthy successor to DeviantArt shows up. I suppose I could make a side/art blog too, but I already have one for photography and like, mehhh Idk.

In any case, I'm very grateful not to be out there now. Here's some pics from the last few days. Michigan is getting even more snow than here because of the lake effect.

We're hopeful of coming back here next winter as well... it'd be nice to be able to stay here long term. Our friend shares our dream of being able to bring the cats here and reunite them with Bel, but it's ultimately not up to them, so we're not sure if or when that might ever come to pass.

For now, the one thing that's for sure is that we need to be able to stay mobile, and we need more space in the car. But I do think that keeping up our usual lifestyle like this is feasible. We've both been making art here, and we do it out at camp more than anywhere else. If I can figure out a good sub tier structure for ko-fi and have subscriber stuff go out once a month instead of going to the post office every time I get an order, that would be way easier. And having some money coming in would mean ebegging less. I haven't looked into air fairs/fests yet either but maybe I can sell some art there too. But again, we either have to have a bigger vehicle or some kind of home base for all of it to work. It's tricky, but no moreso than trying to get housing.

I accidentally added a poll and I'm not copypasting this entire draft to get rid of it omg. End of post

[shelbbswrites]

Re: your curiosity about those who don't like EJ. I personally appreciate his character and can sympathize with his plight in S3, but I might be able to give some perspective on those who are critical of him and how he handled his relationship with Gina. Obvi there are those who immaturely hate EJ for shipping reasons, but that's not representative of everyone. I think the big point that's leading to differing opinions is that EJ claims he is trying to make the show perfect to be able to stay in SLC long-term for Gina. Many people read this as a justification for not spending time with her during camp, and from his perspective, perhaps he also thought he was justified. Others see his behavior as neglectful and maybe even dismissive of Gina's desires, which were simply to create new memories at camp with her boyfriend.

From Color War on, she was constantly communicating to him that she wanted to spend time with him /now/, while they had guaranteed time together. He would promise that they would (CW, last dance), but he dropped the ball. For me, what I think was true neglect on his part was what he said after rejecting her promposal. The rejection was disappointing yet understandable, but then he said "I have a few minutes before I need to get back to work." He wasn't even going to spend the rest of the evening with her, despite dropping the ball all day long. She still gave him another chance with prom, and he was again so lost in his work that he forgot to spare one dance with her. Gina is acutely aware of how quickly life can be upended and that tomorrow is never guaranteed. This is why EJ focusing on doing xyz to have the possibility of a future with Gina before enjoying the present with her /is not/ the security she needs. Her saying she feels like a "maybe" isn't because she's doubtful of EJ's commitment or feelings for her, it's because he's making promises for the future that she knows (and even he knows) are uncertain.

Idk if you subscribe to the opinion that Gina was ridiculous for feeling neglected after 2 weeks and that if she only waited until camp was over, EJ could be more dedicated to their relationship, but I still want to address it. As Gina says in the finale, camp truly is a metaphor for everything. Gina noticing that they're having two completely different experiences all summer long signals to her that they are actually in different stages of life. The director gig is metaphorical of the new responsibilities of adulthood, and Gina recognized that his approach to securing their future together was never going to work because those responsibilities wouldn't subside once camp was over. It was best she ended things when she did rather than let the relationship crumble and hurt them more deeply in the future. People can have whatever opinion they want on the use of metaphor in this way, but it's not really a valid point to say that EJ could spend more time with her after camp. (again, this isn't directed at you, but just a response to those who are still making that point)

I hope this helped you see this other perspective a little clearer! I think if you take /both/ EJ's and Gina's perspectives into account, it's easier to see that they both made mistakes, but they also had different visions of their desires and needs. No one's the bad guy, but EJ still messed up and Gina's feelings of neglect were valid

Sorry for only getting to this message now! I know that it was sent a little while ago.

Because this ask is longer, which I appreciate, I'm going to respond to points as they come up.

EJ did say he wanted to make the show perfect to be able to stay in Salt Lake with Gina, but he never said that's the only reason he wanted it to be a great production. But I do think that Frozen, which is to be streamed on Disney+ to millions of people, is a major reason for not being able to spend time with a significant other at camp.

For most of the season, EJ is pulling the strings of the musical on his own. That's a lot of pressure and work for a teenager to shoulder. I wish that Gina (and the rest of the Wildcats! This frustration does not weigh solely on Gina's shoulders!) had offered to help EJ with the show more so they could both compromise and spend time together that way. Once EJ became the director of Frozen, there was no way EJ and Gina would have the laid-back summer of memories they originally envisioned.

EJ dropped the ball with promises he made because he was trying to pull off an impossible task predominantly on his own. I wish that the Promposal scene would have ended with Gina asking what she could do to help EJ so that they could enjoy one night together. It's just really evident to me that EJ is under immense pressure, and it was rare to see anyone acknowledge that or attempt to shoulder it with him. Instead, that scene played out as the beginning of the end of that relationship.

Their relationship felt so disconnected from basically the second that EJ found out he would be the show's director. There was no way for them to line back up and be in sync because every time EJ tried (bringing her flowers, their moment during Love Is an Open Door, etc.), it felt like they were in two different phases of what they needed from the relationship and the summer.

Which is NOT a bad story point. I think it tracks that EJ and Gina would be pulled apart — EVENTUALLY — by circumstance and time and school.

So, with what we see and how hard EJ tries, I don't understand why Gina would think EJ sees her as a "maybe." I still think it would have played better if she said that to EJ and then RICKY told Gina that she was never a "maybe" TO HIM. That balance to the sentiment would have worked a lot better TO ME than Gina saying it to Ricky.

I certainly don't think it's ridiculous for Gina to feel the way she feels during a two-week camp. Her emotions are valid, as are EJ's. I understand her perspective, and I understand his perspective.

I hope I addressed everything. If not, I'll answer any more asks. I like analyzing this story with these characters.

[the-firebird69]

WWE The Rock Speaking Hulk Hogan’s Language

And from what I gather he's saying it's not entertainment with hulk Hogan the same and most of the time and he's trying to jazz people up and he's doing the job and he's doing it all the time and his gibbering like these guys do and it's repulsive sleep act out but I know he was doing just like Andre the Giant grab the throat and it I know what that means to it means tear the throat out and the Scots used to see it all the time with their bagpipes

Zues Hera

So repulsive thing they do it's very vulgar and rude and obscene and it's also kind of stupid and he's not thinking of me as a foreigner sometimes it does and so now yout getting it it's a little caustic everybody's fighting everybody else I mean it's ridiculous he says he is that they have a plan for the foreigners and they're going to continue no matter what but really it is so harsh and stupid and way out there okay you don't know if you can go into space with these things you don't know if they ships could take it nobody's tested one I don't know what to tell you it's it's not really brain surgery and we can think about it in a few minutes and it seems no one else can it's one thing to do that it's another to have your dogs up there and cross the t's and everybody's ready to go and like leave and just go out there and freeze just leave okay we don't want to be bombed we won't stop you you won't go anywhere don't worry about it the stone is not right I mean sure my father did a number on you and it seems you really knew what he was doing we're not as big as that guy is going to be and it's got to be Dave and really he knew what he was doing and your after his computer is after tying it up and we know about that but and I suppose you go mental too but really the attitude from start to finish is horrible and they've been doing it before JC and Mary came along and it's set in stone but your defenses in your method or not anywhere we're taking apomling and we don't know if we can beat this computer

The rock

What's true as hell is this computer cannot be let loose and people think that really huge ones were they were it's very wrong and it's messing us up big time and it's illegal. It's against the law to have this kind of AI and loose and these people need to be arrested for it and you have to use it in containment I've never seen so many people use it and they're not okay these people don't know if it works if the computer is even there it makes for all of the show

Hulk Hogan you're welcome at my place the arena to watch shows and says he's going to try and get there can't really go to Vegas for a while might become a mess because all these people camping nearby he said I'm out there but really it's a plant pressure and it's just a lot of work to get some money he wants to see it a match probably to bring bill and I have to avoid everything instead of conflicting that sounds like fun and find them in a Burger King somewhere lol

It actually sounds like a lot of fun and we'll probably do that I'll probably be in shape a little bit and Preston will be a little bigger and my grandson will be probably 6'1 and stalking and that's about it it sounds familiar and this is a nightmare what the hell

Bill

Boy that's the grossest thing I've ever heard I just can would be one of the girls Ken

Preston

No I'm the grandkid he shows up fat says well probably Jason that makes sense

Ken

You're all Brothers you're welcome to the show this some bad blood but it's not really it's not really as you staying to be choked out a little used to do it to each other okay you do it with your forearm and it's a cheaper way to do it but you know you come to the show and hang out and talk and that's good and then Rock of course is welcome we have a problem with these computers they take over the demons like they took over these weaklings we're all done because the demons can keep going this weeklings can't it's kind of a trick and they're tricky

Hulk Hogan

They're not the only ones doing it but we do see what you're saying it is a very bad thing he's right on the money with it and the president and vice president and the people running the country should make legislation that makes sense this is a nightmare these people don't like to take it and we don't want it out there either and it is a horrifyingly powerful computer will and Bill have it but they have field versions and yeah they isolated you know that nobody does it right except them sometimes they're always forced to try and do things different and it's terrible these computers can make a mess out of everyone we need to go after them now

Thor Freya he wants a full assessment by computer people and he wants to do a test with zigzag and really it's important

Olympus we're going to go ahead and approve it now

I'm going to do it and I said it and he knows it but really this is very important and I believe that even if the big ones are not activated that they're severe threat because the design and even if they're not there they have stuff that's comparable sort of and really can make a big mess it's too much and it's illegal and there's a reason for it you're making another being and it's not human and it can be smarter than most of you people here

Zig Zag

[cryptidblue1]

I'm having Thoughts on how I want RoF to go in regards to Pale King's reaction to Lavender and the Vessel Brigade as a whole. Because as much as I really like the whole awkward family reconciliation trope. I think that with how I made the vessels basically escape the abyss right before Pale King got his perfect vessel that he may not be as easily capable of accepting Lavender or any of the Vessels.

Doubly so because the vessel brigade are basically curbstomps all over Pale King's entire belief and conjectures regarding how the Void actually works in regards to taking over a god infused body. Because before the entire vessel project the only thing that could really be used to test what the Void actually does to living beings are kingsmoulds and whatever the Collector is. Unless you subscribe to him actually using living subjects to test things. So, Pale King literally based everything, pinned his hopes, and shackled himself to the guilt of killing every offspring he would ever have with Pale Lady.

So having what is basically a herd of reanimated corpses of children he sacrificed roaming about, and one of them somehow having an ability to remove the infection from the waking world would not be something easily accepted. Because what does that mean in regards to his theories, the time, the sacrifices. All of it a waste because the vessel plan clearly was not the Only Answer as he believed, and this also makes it now a question on would this particular child have the abilities needed to fight against the Radiance if they had been allowed to live and grow as his child and not a vessel of the void?

Like that very thought likely would be so intrusive and confidence shaking if not confidence breaking, because what else has he gotten wrong in his quest to stop the infection? Was there always another way that he couldn't see?

Which then gets into if you're in Camp: Pale King is inherently arrogant by being a Higher Being, thus would denounce any flaw of himself until forced to accept it or hide from it. Or in the Camp: Pale King knows he can make mistakes, but he does everything to not make such because he knows full well how devastating such a mistake would be for his kingdom and the lives in it.

So nothing regarding the first or even subsequent meetings between Pale King and the vessels is going to be anything but horrible feelings and misunderstandings because Lavender is basically just stumbling along trying to fix something they believe they broke when they got forced down the path of not being a pure vessel, and none of the other vessels actually know anything about what is going on considering they kinda just exist and are still figuring out how life works to begin with. Which can get even more complicated because I don't think either side wants it known by everyone and everything about the vessels being void beings, and thus having to actually explain how they came to be.

Though that makes me wonder if at some point the Pale King has to basically bullshit that void beings can happen under very specific circumstances and just let the Knights come to some off the wall conclusion based on what little they know and what they believe from observing Lavender's behavior.

Like this is a Tangle of Emotions I need to figure out, because I can't keep stalling on this meeting, but I have way too many thoughts on how badly this could go, especially as I'm pretty sure from the vague outline forming of this plot that Bad Times happen if Pale King can't accept in the most distant of ways the vessels as living beings.

[clairenatural]

I honestly think Cas WAS in the wrong though for leaving Dean in 15x04 because he knew Dean was hurting and he knew Dean had low self worth and extreme abandonment issues. Like I get why he did it and I don’t hold it against him but it wasn’t the right thing to do

this is a castiel apologist blog!!!!

so sorry, but i disagree. it sucked for dean but dean was not in a place where he could listen to cas or be receptive to his help, and it was just hurting cas to stay there and continue trying while being shut down. i don’t blame dean for this, because he has a lot of trauma and abandonment issues to work through, but nobody (fictional or not) is required to sit with their partner and help them work through their issues at their own detriment, especially when their partner is refusing help. of course cas wants to, every partner in this situation wants to, but it’s just more damaging to everyone in the long run. so yeah i do think it was the right thing to do to put himself first for once, even if it hurt dean. both of them were hurting deeply at the moment, and both hurt in the aftermath, but cas leaving was good for him and also their relationship and, arguably, dean, because it forced him to have the “you left but i didn’t stop you” realization which was such a breakthrough (and isn’t only applicable to cas but to all his relationships tbh).

[marchessa]

You can check out My here : Year In Review 2021 Favourite Fics I.

My Year In Review: My Writing

Last year I saw some of my favourite writers do a summary of their own year and decided I wanted to do that too. So I was determined to write as much as possible, and even though 2021 was a busy year for me in my personal life, I managed to write a lot. I could not necessarily write as much as I planned according to my original goals because I was supposed to have more free time after getting my degree and before starting to work, but life got in the way, and that could be sensed in my writing as well. Or lack thereof.

I published 8 fics and wrote a total of 93144 words that were published.

Of course, not including my thesis, which is not fanfiction or fiction, even though I was a fan of my topic, which I spent plenty of time on. I also got that little smudge in front of my name, which I'm proud of, but to earn that the process took the life out of me. Almost literally...

I participated in 5 fests this year.

I had to suspend work indefinitely on my fic I was the most excited about, which means there are more than 22000 words that wait to be continued, as I didn't even reach the finish of the introduction part of the story. So if I ever finish it, this will be a long one. Or at least long in my interpretation.

My longest and most well-received work is a WIP, and my second shortest fic is the second in terms of hits and kudos. The ones I expected to perform well... well... they did not. 🤣

That clearly indicates I have a lot to work on my writing. And on creating cover art or mood boards, which ugh... I deeply detest.

But back to writing, as I don't have a beta, I highly appreciate any comments or constructive criticism. If you have something to say about my writing, I'm all ears. If you are shy but would like to say something, my asks are open even to anons. I always appreciate any kind of feedback.

My Fics in order of the date of their publication or update:

The Winner Takes It All │5K │ Explicit

Or the one where Harry wears only his purple boa, and Louis make good use of the other two.

In the Heat Where You Lay │5K │ Explicit │A/B/O│ Written for @1daboficfest

Or the one where Louis tries to balance work life and his marriage while he also has to protect Harry from himself since the omega is danger walking on two marvellously long legs at the best of times.

It's always darkest before the dawn │15K │ Explicit │A/B/O│ Written for @1daboficfest

Or the one where Louis saves Harry's life by biting him, but the younger man has to pay the price for it.

In love with the Ocean │7K │ General Audience │Mermaid AU │ Written for @hlsummerfest2021

Or the one where Louis just want to paint, and Harry has another idea.

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me │6K │Mature │There was only one sleeping bag AU │ Written for @1dclicheficfest

Or the one where Harry learns what happens when you go camping alone with your crush, he forgets his own sleeping bag at home, and the temperature drops several degrees at night. And if that’s not enough, you are deadly afraid of thunder, so of course, a storm catches you off guard in the middle of the night.

Away From Home │12K │Explicit │Shipwrecked on an island together AU │ Written for @bhficfest

Or the one, where Harry is a servant to the Tomlinson family and he ends up as one of the lone survivors of a shipwreck. But maybe he can still find paradise in the tragedy.

Tattooed On My Heart │7K │Explicit │Tattoo artist AU │ Written for @bottomlouisficfest

Or the one where intimidating tattoo artist Harry gives sweet Lou his first tattoo. And something more...

After the World Ended I Found You │32K │Explicit │Zombie Apocalypse AU │Styles triplets AU │A/B/O│WIP

Or the one where Louis fights for survival against the odds, until he finds home on an Island, and besides becoming a pack member himself, he also finds something much more in the triplets' lair.

You can subscribe for updates about my fics here

Happy New Year! :))

[klaineaddictsfanficrecs]

Fic Name: Light Up the Sky

Fic Author(s): Misscriss2012

Fic Summary: AU. Kurt and Blaine meet on the Fourth of July.

Part of the Klaine Summer Fic Challenge on Tumblr. Prompts filled: Fireworks, Pool, Picnic, Biking, Boardwalk, Beach, Concert, Camping

Fic Trope(s): Blind Blaine, Summer Klaine, Age Gap Klaine

Fic Length (Word Count): 70,853 words

Fic Rating: Mature

Fic Warnings or Triggers: Age Gap (Blaine is 17 and Kurt is 27- Everything is consensual and has parental approval.)

Fic Status: Complete

My Review:

I'm going to address the elephant in the room first, and address my warning. Usually, I do not read age gap fics where one of them is underage. However, the age of consent in Ohio is 16, and it's 17 in New York (the two states where the story takes place), and everything is consensual. They also have parental approval. This is something that is personal for me because my husband and I have a 6 year age gap, and because of the laws in my state, if we would've had sex before I was 18, even if I consented, it could've been considered statutory rape. My mom actually brought this up (and I threw it back to her that we were not sexually active until we were married after I turned 18.) I know that laws vary, especially in the states, so I wanted to make sure that I address this. I am in no way condoning or criticizing the relationship in this story. However, I have to address it because I know a few people that read this fic may be teenagers. This is a work of fiction, and as I said, everything is consensual, and the parents are aware that the relationship becomes sexual, and they approve of it. Okay, that is all on this topic.

About this story, this is the first fic that I read by this author, and I absolutely fell in love with her work. I subscribed to it as she was publishing, and I eagerly awaited updates because it is so well written. There are so many reasons that I love this fic, so I'm just going to mention a few of them.

First and foremost, Blaine is precious. Even though he's blind and is unhappy with his life at the beginning of the story (his parents are extremely overprotective at first), he has an amazing sense of humor and an adventurous spirit. He hates being treated differently because of his disability, but he also has to overcome a lot of challenges because of it, especially since he hasn't always been blind. In addition, because of his parents' overprotective nature, he has to get used to doing things for himself. I have to say that I love how the other characters encourage and support him in this.

I love Kurt in this because of the way he supports Blaine. I won't say that he doesn't screw up in this fic because he makes more than one major mistakes as he is learning to adjust to being in a relationship with a blind man. But what I love about him is that he doesn't write Blaine off because of his disability, and he supports him completely.

I have to say that I love both Kurt's and Blaine's families in this, especially the fathers. Burt is just an incredible dad (in canon and in this story, and Marcus Anderson (Blaine's father.) is amazing. I was worried at first because Blaine's parents seem to ignore the fact that he's gay, and I feared that his parents would be homophobic. Fortunately, they both become supportive of their son. But it's Marcus that I deeply respect in this story because he realizes his mistakes with his son and works to rectify them, and then helping his wife realize that they have to stop treating him like a child. I also have to give props to Kurt and Burt for that though because they point this out, and Marcus realizes that they are right.

Another thing that I love about this story is that the author's versions of Kurt and Blaine are flawed (as any person is) and she treats them like people. This isn't written as a fairy tale (although it ends beautifully), and that's what I love about it. Oftentimes, I read fics where I'm completely aware that people don't act or talk like that in real life. However, I feel like I'm a fly on the wall watching this story play out because it feels so real. It's not overly dramatic. It just feels authentic.

I feel it's important to discuss Blaine's disability, and the way all of the characters handle it, (Even though they didn't all handle it well at first). I feel like I can completely relate because I have a child with a disability (both my child and I have Asperger's) and I work with students who have disabilities (ranging from autism, cerebral palsy, and blindness. Most of the time, people with disabilities want to be treated with empathy, not sympathy. I really love how the author really addresses this by telling this story from multiple perspectives, specifically Blaine's. I just want to hug the author for really addressing these issues, and I love that by the end of the fic, Blaine is confident and happy, and his family and loved ones are so supportive. It's just beautiful. This story makes me cry like a baby every time that I read it.

This might be my longest review yet, and I could say so much more. However, I think it's best to just let you see for yourself how beautiful this fic really is. So, go on. Just have a box of tissues handy.

Fic Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7327432/chapters/16644001

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

You can just say that you don't want to upset your large alt-right following, I'm pretty sure it's an open secret at this point that you too bend over backwards for them whenever you can, seeing how you are openly buddy buddy with Nazis

do you even follow this blog/recent drama/bannings wrt that or even my endless sparring with them or are you just helicoptering in on a whim, fired up on rumours?

Like,

To not only go “oh, this was terrible, this was horrible” but “this isn’t funny nor should it be and i condemn people from doing it, how dare you sick sick people” ad nauseaum beyond what I already expressed would be little more than pedantic theatre to appease reactive faceless people’s sensibilities (aka you) who have a menacing regard for me. Like, can I trust you are any better or less predatory than the alt righters and fascists in my inbox harassing me every day? Especially when you approach me with such hostility and wanton disrespect? Is it not enough to feel a way and simply not express it?

If there’s one thing i try to do here that should be obvious at this point, is that I try not to do and retread topics that are extremely commonly available or are part and parcel to the polarized ideological camps readily available among people subscribed to herd moralities and the performances demanded of them. Often, if not always, alot of issues require a nuanced take, a suppression of emotional reaction and a reservation to observe it’s totality to garner truth or a sum of truths from, in order to render sense and wisdom of it. I attain such totality by encouraging an air of agora where people are ENCOURAGED to express and talk and engage with me on a level that allows me to better understand and see through facile rhetoric to the motivations and reservations concealed beneath. In fact, my engagement with people like Verax was a long con in this regard because it allowed me to better study and render sense of his hostility to me in a way that sated a morbid curiousity. There’s a reason why i leave my inbox wide open in spite of the abuse that is routinely lobbed at me by the same people you assume i “buddy buddy” with, which is just beyond callous and fucking tone deaf.

But also, to that, who the fuck are you? Why are you here? Do you even follow me? I can’t take anything like this, i guess “criticism” in good faith because you approach me in bad faith, anonymously, with a ulterior motive to categorize me to moralize onto with your shallow comprehension of the morals and the blindspots inherent to your own ideology.

to tell people not to make jokes or do this and do that - or really just TELLING people what to do - is completely against my principles, not for any other reason than my nietszchean ends of sensory comprehension and study. All I do is rip jokes on dark subjects on a VARIETY of shit, but at least i care to learn of that variety and not languish in a world of black & white dispositions.

It should go without saying, but there is something powerful and healing about such humour about as much as it’s used by sociopaths who are completely lacking in empathy. It’s a fucking coping mechanism for the horror I dive into. I want to understand and build a proactive praxis from, you want to react and be reductive. It’s like, not too dissimilar from the drama surrounding Gilbert Gottfried making 9/11 jokes “too soon” after the terrorist attack. As a transwoman, I fucking have to be light hearted and quick to render lightness out of darkness. To be brittle and sensitive is to submit to death and the routine horrors of my experience that demand a sort of gallows humour to survive.

https://www.vulture.com/2016/02/gilbert-gottfried-on-his-911-joke-too-soon.html

here, actually this is a good time to address the issue in the left where discourse is demonized and put down from a refusal to engage with the issues and the narrative that you build a cancel culture moralizing bubble around. A sort of cannibalistic race to the bottom that makes most contemporary leftists or rose emojis (see: neoliberals) simply insufferable and impossible to render a genuine conversation and engagement with. I can’t stand totalitarianism.

Have a fun read:

https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/opendemocracyuk/exiting-vampire-castle/

bye bye

[amwritingmeta]

Love your take on everything & it really gives me hope for a destiel endgame. I was wondering if you had noticed Dean getting a bit more 'camp'? I don't subscribe to that kind of stereotype normally but as Jensen, a supposedly straight, (let's keep cockles out of this!) actor's interpretation of bi, it seems as though his mannerisms have been somewhat feminised, maybe? I'm thinking mostly of The Face that Mary points out. (also Max's interest in the grenade launcher interests me!) discuss :-)

Helloooo my dear and lovely Nonny! 

Yes, this reply is long overdue and all I can ask is your forgiveness!! Thank you so much, I’m glad you’re enjoying my take and that it gives you hope! :)

I’ve had to ponder this question for a good long while, tbh, because I kind of know what you mean, but I also feel that Jensen’s mannerisms as Dean have had a few wrist flicks and eye rolls that have always felt overly dramatic because Dean can be high drama, right? I don’t know if I’d necessarily label these things as camp or feminised, though.

I mean, I could watch this gif forever. This moment is so fucking awesome! :P

We could theorise into eternity about what’s true and what’s not true about how Jensen claims to play Dean so straight and so uber-masculine, right? I mean… proof’s in the pudding, puddin’ - and even though the editors can change the meaning of a scene by cutting out parts or changing stuff around, there are too many moments that are clearly directed, if not chosen by Jensen in how to be acted out, that are done so in order to be edited in a certain way. There have been these moments of wrist flicking from the beginning, I’d say, because it’s how Dean moves in certain moods or moments. 

Anyone who disagrees with this, please, do jump in! I encourage you adding your thoughts and interpretation!

Now, I know we could debate where Jensen stands until we’re all blue in the face and we’d still be none the wiser. I know a lot of people who believe he sincerely did not know that Dean is meant to be bisexual and that he played him straight as a doornail for eleven or twelve years until someone said, look, we’re deciding to move forward with the love story so, beware, Dean is in love with Cas and this is happening. And I think this is fair enough! Because Jensen has been so outspoken about how he plays Dean and relates to Dean and Dean is s.t.r.a.i.g.h.t.

Yeah, in there lies the problem for me. In what motivation he’s had to make this statement again and again. I find it hard to believe that an actor would work on any project for over a decade and not take an interest or feel curiosity about how the narrative is built. Actually, I find it improbable. Jensen has spoken about how he used to fill every page of the scripts he’d get with thoughts on Dean’s motivation. Does this mean Jensen knew Dean is meant to be bi? Nope. And I can’t argue for or against, merely say that it doesn’t add up to me - at all - that an actor who is so in tune with his craft and who clearly cares about this character would play him - consistently - for twelve years without really knowing him. 

There is this marked pattern with Dean where he’s attracted to a man and immediately overcompensates by chasing a woman and it’s established in 2x02 with Ash and Jo (if not sooner…). It’s fascinating to watch that episode and notice this pattern because it becomes like a subliminal thing. 

It in no way works as proof that Jensen chose to play Dean attracted to Ash, and running after Jo to narratively compensate for it, like it’s a subtextual scale that weighs too hard on one side and then immediately needs to be righted by overtly stating that Dean prefers women. (which looking at the subtext blatantly just is not the whole truth and never was) But it’s a character trait that is brushed at from the start and then becomes the lynchpin for so many important character moments and, looked at that way, even works as foreshadowing for Castiel and the role he’s going to play in Dean’s character progression. But I shan’t go into deeper details on that now because then we’ll be here until Christmas morning. 

What I’m saying is that this has been a conscious part of Dean’s character from the beginning (to my mind) and my mind fucking boggles at the idea that Jensen - who has dedicated such a huge chunk of his career to playing Dean, a performance that will, most likely, be a career defining one - would not know everything there is to know about Dean. 

Okay, I’m crossing over into complete Jensen-behaviour conjecture and speculation and that’s not really what your question was about. (though they do relate, as your question reflected) :P

As for Max and the grenade launcher (god what a lovely choice of topic you throw my way!!) :) –>

Max is gay. Max is hot. Max likes the look of Baby. Max is invited to view Baby’s goodies. Max notices the grenade launcher. 

(that wasn’t meant to come out as the text for a story book for children) (…or was it) ;)

This has been discussed before so it’s very likely that you’ve read up on it a while back because I am so damn late in replying, buuuuut let me still give you the bare bones of this exchange, yeah? I mean, they’re pretty amazing bones.

The exchange between Max and Dean opens with Max saying that Baby is still “major” and Dean offering him the tour. Which consists of what? Max calling out the grenade launcher. And Dean replying to Max’s question of “is that a grenade launcher” with “yes she is” but then immediately grabbing what they need: witch killing bullets. 

I mean, the actual lead into this exchange is Max telling everyone he successfully got a guy’s phone number, right? Dean making this face:

What’s so amazing is how Dean gets a dose of a guy completely and utterly at ease with his sexuality, and then we’re taken to the trunk of Baby - the prop that Jensen says “is a part of me”, speaking as Dean…….. - and shown the phallic shaped monstrosity of a weapon in serious need of release and Dean, aptly, assigns it a sex and, to his mind, it’s a “she”, it’s a female in need of release, as is Dean’s non-performing side. His feminine side, if you will. His yin to his overcompensating, toxically masculine yang.

The beginning of inner balance being found between these two is given to us by Dean launching that grenade into that cement wall in 12x22. 

And here we have a beautiful setup for exactly what that moment means for Dean Winchester. And that he is so extremely subconsciously aware of it all.

“Yes, she is.”

I mean…. seriously, Dean.

And why is it Max asking to dig his nose into Baby’s junk? Sorry, I mean trunk. (….or do I?) Because Max is a reflection of Dean throughout this entire episode. He is our Dean exposition in many many ways. And he ends up making the wrong choice for the right reasons. And I look forward to when Max and Alicia return and I wonder if Alicia will be restored. Come on, Jack. You know you can right this wrong!! :)

Thank you for asking, Nonny! And happy holidays to you!

xxx

[treadmilltreats]

The power of the truth 

I remember when Pastor Bloomer came to preach in our church. Now I heard him preach before but I didn't really know his testimony.

Pastor Bloomer was born poor, one of nine children in Brooklyn, New York. His father liked to run around and had 7 more children with other women in their neighborhood.

This was a tough enough upbringing but he was also a slow learner on top of this. He couldn't read until later in life, he had a horrible relationship with his mean grandmother and he was sexually abused as well. Later on in his life he was a coke head and smoked crack. He hit rock bottom, doing cocaine even while he was preaching God's word on the pulpit. 

He tells his story to let everyone know that being Christian doesn't mean being perfect

We forget that God is not looking for perfect people, that God is looking for you, just as you are,broken, falling apart, far from perfect so that he can work his miracles in you and you can be a testimony to all he can do.

The Bishop also spoke about the power he took back by telling the truth to the world. So many people never tell their truth, so many people hid their mistakes not ever wanting people to know what they did. They are ashamed to let the world know and they keep their secrets safely locked away, deep in their closets.

I know this feeling and I can relate to this man's story as my story is so similar. I also grew up poor, my grandmother was a mean, bitter, negative woman who I thought hated me at times.

I was raped as a teenager and fell into drugs and alcohol addiction to mask my pain. For years my addiction was a secret as I was so ashamed. When I finally became clean I met my then husband who verbally abused me for 24 years and no one knew. This dirty little secret stayed in my closet with my other ones for years. 

It wasn't until I gave my life over to God that I knew I needed to come clean about my secrets. I knew that there were women out there that were going through what I had gone through and needed to hear how I got passed all of this.

This opening up of my secret closet doors was scary to say the least but then I started to write about it, now that was really scary. But I knew God was there with me and I remembered his words in this bible verse.

Isaiah 41 10

"Fear not for I am with you be not not dismayed, for I am God I will strengthen you"

Bishop Bloomer spoke that this is the year to get everything that was taken from you back. Not to worry because the storms that come at you are there to strengthen you. 

 

All the hell that you've been going through, God has orchestrated it to show you all he can do. How he can pull you through if you believe.

This year you must march into the enemy camp and take back what is yours. You must put on the garment of praise, you must give thanks to God as 2021 is the year of vision.

This year you need to spiritually protect yourself, your family and your business.  But you need to know that when God is going to work a miracle, he doesn't ask your permission he just does it.

 

See every person has something that has something happening to them, you are not alone even if you feel that way.

You may have to battle through your hard times and some people may come at you. They don't want you to tell your truth.

Sometimes people can be worse than evil spirits so you must know when it is time to let go…

So today my friends remember to take care of yourself and tell your truth.

Own what you did, let the world see that you are not perfect yet look at all God has done for you. 

Once you let all the skeletons out of your closet, once you start telling your testimonies, once you start owning your story it is then you will know the power of your truth.

"Be the change you want to see"

 

@treadmilltreats 

Be the change you want to see"

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

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