#i just dont want that many followers sorry im 27 years old and want to age in peace

[albeckett]

i think i lost a follower last night for mcrposting. idk what to tell you but it will keep happening so

[minthara]

really long personal answer to an anon i got. trigger warnings in the tags.

First of all i wanna apologise to everyone who follows me for the last few days lmao, but i feel like if i dont post about it im literally gonna kill myself. I need somewhere to write down my thoughts because i feel bad always going to the same 2 friends i still have and complain about the same situation again and again about a dude they dont even know that well.

Thank you so much for ur message really, and sorry if im gonna take it as another excuse to write down all my thoughts, but i think it will really help me.

So the pathetic thing. I didnt ever post about this and in real life i think only like. 3 people knew. But after we broke up i begged him for months to take me back. It really was pathetic. And when he called me pathetic i think he was just very very hurt, because that was the second time i broke up with him (just a few weeks ago). It was in the sense of me begging him for so long just to break up again a few months later. I feel fucking stupid even writing this. I spent about 10k euros trying to get away from him, it fucked up my life so massively that i lost a job i really loved over it.

And now my new job is about 5 minutes away from our old apartment and i think thats a huge reason why i cant get over it. Every day i walk past restaurants, the supermarkets, anything we went to together. I had to buy snacks for work today and just burst into tears in the fucking supermarket because we used to go there together. The people at work are always so appreciative bc i know the area so well but they dont know how much it fucking hurts me and its so stupid like. Should i just avoid that part of town forever??? No fucking get over it bitch like wtf its a fucking supermarket.

And it also hurts because i know i wasnt always perfect and there were many times i was super mean to him. But at a point i couldnt deal with his ADHD anymore and that sounds so shitty but im a super organised person to the point where sometimes i wonder if thers anything ocd related but i dont think so. In my head i swap between i have ocd, i have adhd, i have borderline, i have autism  - i have no idea whats wrong with me, but the way i feel cant be normal. I know this because the way i behave isnt normal, i know i can come across as really strange, i cant judge social situations well and often dont know how to behave. But i constantly criticised him for symptoms of his mental illnesss.

But i never physically hurt him, and that was the last straw for me, why i left. I dont know how u can do that to a person you love.

And im just mourning the life i thought i was going to have so, so, so much. I know on tumblr ppl somehow think youre brainwashed when you want a traditional marriage and kids and stuff, but i really thought that was going to happen in the next 2 / 3 years, thats how i planned my life since i was fucking 21 and i met him. And now im almost 27, and i cant even go on dates because i cannot bear talking to new people because all i want is a clone of him but better.

I know i will look back at this and think “u cried about THAT guy???” in a few years, because thats how its always been in my life lol (except for one relationship, but were still really really best friends). I always think afterwards i will never love someone that much again. But it hits so much harder because it was such a serious relationship lol i really wanted to marry him. Sobs lol.

[emilyjunk]

bemily hunger games au pt 27

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8)(part 9) (part 10) (part 11) (part 11.5) (part 12) (part 13) (part 14) (part 15) (part 16) (part 17) (part 18) (part 19) (part 20) (part 21) (part 22) (part 23) (part 24) (part 25) (part 26) (moodboards) (playlists) (read it on ao3)

the days after the visit from beca’s capitol entourage, she’s restless and anxious. the momentary post-Games absence she’d had from that world had managed to numb some of the awfulness (not that she’d forgotten any of it), but now those feelings are bubbling back up in her, present and hungry

days are the worst. at night she dreams -- mostly bad -- but at least she’s asleep, not conscious of her thoughts. during the days, though, she has nothing to occupy her mind or her hands

emily’s at school, her dad at the mill. it’s just beca and that house, that too big, too extravagant house, her thoughts filling up every inch inside it until she feels crushed under their weight

sometimes she walks, just to have space to breathe, but there are always people, and her victory is still fresh on their minds. they always stare as she passes and sometimes they speak to her as she makes her way from shop to shop in the square, looking for anything emily’s family or her dad might need to get them through the winter. she’s got too much money and too many thoughts -- she can’t get rid of any of it

mainly she spends the day waiting for emily to get back from school. emily fills up that house with words and life and distractions. welcome, beautiful distractions, like her face, her laugh, her stories and her hands, chopping vegetables beca’d bought while she speaks, steady and confident from the many years spent looking after her sisters

she’s not just a distraction, though, beca thinks sometimes as she zones out in front of the tv, waiting, waiting. in the capitol, emily would be a tasty distraction to any person who can appreciate a pretty face

no. emily’s more than that to beca. she just doesn’t know how much more. emily is whatever she meant when she’d murmured who says i’m pretending against beca’s cheek. 

she’s a faulty radio broadcast stuck on repeat when beca wants to avoid thinking of other things. she’s a reprieve, a confusing but welcome dream. emily is an inhalation, taken deeply into the lungs, a reason to come home again

who says i’m pretending

she’s a warm presence in the night, she’s crisp winter air on the skin, she’s all limbs and soft eyes and inviting lips, a pretty pout, an easy smile, a magnetic mouth drawing beca’s gaze, constant yearning and uncertainty and wanting, wanting, wanting

who says i’m prete--

a knock on the door halts this incessant train of thought. but emily had to stop at her mom’s house after school and it’s too early for her to be back and, beca frowns, she wouldn’t knock anyway. not anymore

she opens the door warily, praying it’s not one of those other victors, what’s-his-face from three houses down wanting to see if she’s got any booze again

“hey,” chloe’s smile is bright, brighter than the autumn sun sinking lower in the sky behind her

“oh,” beca mouths, surprised and, without reason, suddenly on guard. she clears her throat. “uh, hey.”

chloe’s smile flickers, just for a moment, but then it’s back. “can i come in for a second?”

beca nods numbly, holding the door open for chloe to pass. she leads chloe to the kitchen, offering her some water. they awkwardly settle at the kitchen table, staring at each other

“so...” beca says without preamble. “what are you doing here?”

“what,” chloe chuckles, but it’s fake and beca hates it. “i can’t visit my best friend just because?”

beca shrugs

“right,” chloe clears her throat. “no you’re right. i’m here to invite you out actually. there’s a bonfire tonight before curfew. bunch of the old crew is gonna be there and i thought, i dunno, you might wanna come.”

“oh”

“it’s gonna be small, just you know, like stacie and ash and jess and aubrey, and oh, hey! did you know aubrey is friends with emily? you should bring her along”

beca hesitates. “oh,” she says again, if only because she doesn’t know what else to say

chloe seems to realize she hasn’t sold beca on the idea and she leans forward, reaching for beca’s hand across the table. beca flinches, her hand twitching... but after a beat she relaxes, her fingers stilling between chloe’s

“please?” chloe says. “i miss you. and i think it will be really good for you to start getting back to normal”

beca frowns. “back to normal?” a bitter laugh escapes her throat “dude, i don’t think that’s gonna happen”

“of course it is,” chloe says plainly. “you just need to get out and stop moping around here thinking about it. what you went through was unimaginable and i can’t even begin to understand. but holing up by yourself and reliving it 24/7 isn’t gonna help you move past it beca”

beca twists her mouth. “move past it?”

chloe shoots her a small smile, still not getting it. “yeah.”

it’s out of becas mouth before she can help it “maybe i don’t wanna move past it”

chloe’s eyes widen and she leans back slightly. “what? beca”

“you dont get it,” it’s taking all of becas willpower not to shout. “i killed three people. even more died because of me. i can’t just move the fuck past that.”

“no,” chloe backtracks. “of course not. i just meant --”

“you meant that im not the same as i was and you want me to be because you cant deal with the fact that things are different.”

chloe huffs. “that’s not fair. and fine, maybe i don’t want them to be different! is it so bad that i miss you?”

“no but you dont just get to decide how things should be. how i should be!” beca’s vaguely aware of the sound of the front door opening and closing, emily’s shuffling footsteps in the hall. she takes a deep breath, knowing emily will call for her... but it never comes

she hears emily move down the hall, into the family room, quiet and cautious, and wonders if emily heard any of their conversation.

she pulls her hand from chloe’s and chloe leans back in her chair, face pinched.

“listen,” chloe murmurs, “i’m sorry if i don’t understand, but i just want to help. and i think doing stuff that will make you feel a little normal again might.”

beca scoffs. “nothing is going to make me feel normal again, okay? nothing is ever going to be how it was.”

chloe crosses her arms. “so that’s it then? you’re just going to hang around day after day waiting for emily to come home. you’re not going to have a life? friends?”

beca grunts. “that’s not what im saying.”

“it sure feels like that.” chloe hesitates, then-- “she doesn’t even know you.”

“maybe that’s the point. and sorry but neither do you anymore.” 

“fine,” chloe snaps, standing and putting on her jacket. “but i’m not just gonna stand aside and let you fester. she’s not the only one who cares about you.”

beca opens her mouth to respond, but a sudden noise slips into the kitchen, and the unexpectedness of it catches her off-guard.

“i..” she starts but can’t finish, distracted by the noise. music, she realizes. piano. 

she exhales, trying to focus but her attention is elsewhere. “look i appreciate what you’re doing,” she says to chloe, managing to look at her again. “but i’m not there right now and i dont know when i will be”

chloe looks at her for a long moment, and beca tries to dissect the emotions flitting across her face, but that’s when the music stutters, a botched chord, and beca’s attention dips again, her head turning toward the sound. 

is emily playing that? 

“fine,” chloe says and beca’s gaze flicks back as chloe starts to walk toward the front door. she follows, half of her attention on chloe and half in the other room. “but the offer is still open. and you’re welcome to bring emily.” she stops at the door, fingers on the handle, turning to look at beca. “i like her, despite everything.”

“despite everything?”

chloe’s face is unreadable, something beca suddenly realizes has never happened before. chloe has always been an open book. 

her eyes look over beca’s shoulder, toward the other room, before settling back on beca. “i just thought--” she frowns, cutting off, then sighs and opens the door. a gust of autumn wind blows into the entrance hall and beca shivers as chloe steps outside. “the games,” chloe says, eyes dark as they appraise beca from the front step. “us. everything that’s happened. I just hope she’s worth it all.”

she doesn’t give beca a chance to respond. just pulls her coat tighter around her and heads off down the front steps, turning into the road.

beca watches her go, mouth hanging open, until she’s nothing but a shadowy speck against the horizon

[strawberryspeachy]

So on the last day of july i went clubbing

Almost immediately met a cute boy and he asked me to go to a hotel with him. I debated but ultimately went with him. He asked if i wanted to go on a date because fucking japanese assholes equate date with hotel.

Went. Hooked up. Then. He said he wanted to go back to the club because otherwise “it would be a waste of his night”

Yeah

So... went back.... watched him look for another girl. And felt like shit

Eventually a boy that was ok looking talked to me. I didnt ignore him and he got excited over me talking to him after having ignored other boys. I didnt intend to continue talking to him but he was so excited the entire time and was nice so i just stayed with him.

We left together and sat on some sidewalk and talked. I saw that both his arms had cut marks all over them

And as a fucked up person... i stupidly think that other fucked up people will be as empathetic as i try to be and my depressed friends back home

He told me some of his shitty homelife - apparently he doesnt have parents

He asked me to go to a hotel with him and i said no... so we went to eat instead...

He kept being overly nice (in words) told me that he works at an old folks home and that he wants to learn english and come to america and help me take care of my mom.... in a sudden way

Rationally im not stupid and know that was a line. But im pretty stupid in general

He kept asking me to be his gf and i told him id need to go on a date with him to decide that

I just wanted to say no but...

He didnt pay for my meal - ya im one of those girls that that bothers

We seperated and he continued to text my the next few days. We set up a date. He asked me to go to him in yokohama - an hour away from tokyo

Since id never been there i said yes. But this meant i had to pay an expensive train ticket

He did pay for dinner and afterwards convience store for me... mostly... asking if i had change

He wanted to drink at the pier and insisted i get a drink but didnt pay for it

And then took me back to his apartment

It ended up being fun

The next morning while he was showering i was just poking around at his stuff. Not actually looking for anything just curious about the things he has

I looked at his wallet (honestly to see the design but i also always wonder why japanese guys are so comfortable leaving money around who is generally a stranger)

And then. I found. Picture from a photobooth. Him amd soem girl. It was dated from a week before.

He told me the night we met that he broke up with his ex a year ago. But this picture looked very much like a couple

I asked him about it and he just said sorry and threw it in the trash (not a real trash. It could easily be taken out) he said it was from a year ago

After. Bit i took it out amd pointed at the date. He literally hummed and refused to comment ...but he told me hell only see me...

I shouldn’t take that as enough but i did and told him when i got home that ill only se him too. I told him i liked him - and to this point he kept saying he likes me over and over. He has not said it since this. Just said he was happy that i used his name.

After that i went to okinawa for a few days. He told me his sim card broke and he doesnt have wifi unless he goes to a convience store (as an excuse to text slow)

I got back the next week and stayed home all week from a yeast infection that i think he gave me. When he barely responded i told him that

Then he responded continuously telling me that i just got it on my own and hes healthy so it wasnt him

That weekend i went drinking with some friends and messaged him. He responded immediately and i called him. Asking when his phone got fixed. He told me the day before

Then he told me he has pink eye and sent a picture. He said he cant go out of his house because of it

The next week was my birthday. He said hed be cured the day after and we could celebrate. Then he cancelled saying the doc told him hes still contagious

A few days after he sent me a picture of him with makeup on and contacts in saying he went to the salan. I responded immediately asking if he was still contagious and tried to call. He ignored me

I tried to call more throughout the day

Nothing

Over 24 hours pased so i used another account to say hi to him. After 2 hours he responded to the fake account asking who it was

And i flipped the fuck out. I told him a bunch of reasons why he sucked and that he did and fuck him

Then he responded to me with long messages. Many of which i couldnt understand (hes used incorrect kanji before that which makes translation strained)

His excuse was that he felt sick and slept for 20 hours (but he ignored me for over 27)and that he wanted to answer his texts in order. That he doesnt look at him phone much and then got mad at me for not being worried about him and instead getting mad

He didnt addresss any of my complaints like the fact that if im his gf i should be a priority

But because im a sucked i felt bad for trying to hurt him and apologized.... he said hed forgive me if i buy him an accessory next time we hung out...

Yeah. Red flags. I too if i had other options... would have said. Thats a weird way to accept an apology.

Also before (on that first date) when we talked about our bdays cause his was a bit before mine. I asked him what hed wanna do as a late celebration. He immediately told me he wanted yakiniku (an expensive meat meal) and clothes or accessorys from an expensive brand he likes...

So he continued to take over 24 hours to reply to me. With very small responces - he never asks me questions. I asked him to call the night before i went camping and he said he couldnt because he was too drunk from drinking with friends. I went camping and came back and got him on the phone. I demanded him to call and he said he couldnt cause he was tired from work and would the following day

I told him it makes me upset that he doesnt talk to me and that i constantly dont feel good because of him. He just said sorrry. I planned to say this is over if he didnt agree to meet me. But he agreed to a date the coming sunday... the day before i began work again. He said hed come to tokyo and and had a plan. It sounded fun.

Well come sunday morning.... he cancelled. He said he didnt have money. I tried to call him several times and he ignored me.

I confronted him in person. He got mad at me for it. Said he got some sort debt collection and got frauded... someone used his name to take out money and he has to pay court. He said he doesnt have money because of it.

I asked why he never tells me whats going on with him (because im dumb and beleive this... actually i dont. I hope hes being honestly and just has really bad luck but)

This time like last time i told him the way he treats me is how really awful boys who are using me and playing with me treat me. And i cant trust him if hes like this but doesnt tell me why

Well...i was there... i offered to pay for out date.... besides the 11 dollars it takes to get to him

He asked me to put 5 dollars on his train card.... it takes 3 dollads to get to and from where we went. He... mad sure no matter where we would eat it would cost 40 bucks - wanting to drink alc and such. It costed 43 dollars. He wanted starbucks but i kinda said no by saying i dont rlly like starbucks - but he still wanted to get a dessert - 3 dollars

And... he wanted me to buy him that aftermentioned accessory... a ring. He looked at very expensive ones... i... would not have paid for even as stupid as i am.. the one he got was 15 or 25 I forget which...

The thing is... if he wasnt actually... if i wasn’t comfortable being with him i woulda stopped this before... unfortunately. As usual. Despite initially not being attracted to him i really enjoyed his company and find him to be fun...

He said that we should go home at 8 i asked about going back to him place and he said no because hes tired and has work the next day. He knows i also do too. At the same time. And i tried to convince him and he kept saying no. Then i asked doesnt he wanna have sex. He said that we should go to a hotel. And i protested that hotels are expensive and his apartments free and just a cheap train station away. He said hes too tired and just wants to sleep at his apartment but hotels are exciting so hed be awake at a hotel.

He pushed them and i said at that point id be spending like 100 dollars on the day and he knows i also dont have a lot of money.

We awkwardly went to a manga cafe that was only 5 dollars but it wanted you to make a card that costs 5 more dollads. And then i got fussy because too much stress literally makes me lose control of my emotions.

It fucking sucks and i hate it. I have no fucking control over my emotions when my stress is bubbling (which it almost always is) and boils over.

I asked him if he can even pay just the 5 dollars and he said he has no money. I asked how hes gonna get to work with literally no money and he said his conpany pays for it (yea japanese conpanies pay AFTER you go )

We left. It was a bad mood. He didnt storm away from me even though i was basically crying in the street (i have had this happen with even friends. I start crying and they just walk away so even though it should be expected of someone claiming to be your bf... ya)

Anyhow i told him i just wanted to cuddle and talk and kiss

He looked annoyed but i guess he thought those wants were cute and looked for a isolated place

Because were in japan

Couldnt find one cause we were in a city and he again just started saying lets go home. That hes tired and not in the mood.

But we were in a quiet enough play.

And im bitching here but ill take a quick break to say i kept hugging him and stuff which he liked despite saying he was really embarrassed

He told me ealier ok that because of this debt thing hes gonna work two jobs

Which. Terrified me. The first guy I went on a date with in Japan asked me to be his gf and to move in with him and said he had to work two jobs for a month to afford to move so he wouldnt have time to see me. He told me his progress for two weeks and then ghosted me.

This boy told me hell make time to see me when i complained about not doing anything physical when i wouldnt see him again for who knows how long

Welp. Todays saturday and that was sunday. And while at first i thought he was trying because he replied to my messages in or at 24 hours for a few days. Its gone back to the 17 hours

And i asked him to talk on the phone

And he just said not tonight because after his current job hes working at home too

And because im dumb ive waisted my whole saturday waiting for him to reply and crying.

[creampiecashton]

17 questions, 17 people

or like.. you know...however many people i know...

Nickname: AJ, my mum calls me aru, some of my punjabi friends call me amanu, uhhh the occasional daddy? mostly sugar daddy tho. oH and jule-dawg calls me her wife

Zodiac: Scorpio sun, virgo moon and taurus rising :)

Height: 5′7″ (im actually 169.5cm which is only half a cm off 5′7″ so i go w 5′7″)

Hogwarts house: hufflepuff although i took the test again recently and got told i was slytherin, ravenclaw and gryffindor (yes i did it multiple times. i refuse to believe i am anything other than the hufflepuff 12 year old me got told i was)

Last thing I googled: ok a solid woof from me chief but i reckon it was either the synonym of hissing or the koala brothers (a kids tv show in australia lol)

Song stuck in my head: Skinny Skinny by Ashton Irwin

Number of followers: 54

Amount of sleep: k so its the holidays so i got like 12 hours? maybe 13?

Lucky number: i dont have a lucky number because i dont have superstitions but i do love the number 27

Dream job: well most likely dentist for financial and ease purposes, but if capitalism wasn’t a thing i’d say teacher or writer, perhaps journalist

Wearing: periwinkle blue pyjama bottoms that have lil penguins on them!! and a red oversized sweater that says live laugh love on it (no i do not regret either of these purchases. they’re very comfortable)

Favourite song: dark times by the weeknd or like understand by christian leave OR hell is where i dreamt of u and woke up alone by blackbear OR (im so sorry) 27 by fall out boy

Favourite instrument: piano. its so cool wtf

Aesthetic: k uh. clear colours (like jewel tones), polaroid flashes, smiles between kisses, the end of the world when everyone’s kinda helpless but they’re accepting of it and just happy for the last time, having to reach up on your tippy toes for a quick peck on someone’s cheek and hearing them laugh when you do, psychedelic drugs that make you perceive the universe differently, cold fingers on hot cheeks, bowling alley vibes. like the look, the feel, the people, the food, etc etc, essentially a mess but a kinda cool one

Favourite author: currently libba bray because i love period pieces

Favourite animal noise: can i say the sound my little brother makes whenever he opens his mouth (i.e. talking)? no? okay ig prolly like the magpies that chirp near my house in the morning and remind me its spring time

Random: im hypermobile!! meaning i can bend in weird ways. i also had braces in highschool. no glasses though.

tagged by: the lovely @talkfastromance4 (she’s an absolute doll u guys)

I’m tagging: literally the only people i have ever interacted with whom i find rather endearing as well so @castaway-cashton, @thenervousduck, @spicycal, @kindahoping4forever, @notinthesameguey, and literally anybody else who wants to. im a nerd and want to know things abt ppl. literally rb and tag me i will love u forever. 

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

So I’m finally getting around to writing out a bunch of info about my Sander Sides au so I hope youre all ready--(its like 1 am im so sorry for any spelling mistakes and missed tags)

So its 1 am on a work night and I cant sleep and I’ve had lots of ideas and canon things for this au bouncing around my head for days and now TONIGHTS THE NIGHT ITS HAPPENING IM DELIVERING YOU ALL THE DETAILS AND EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF AND TYPE 

Also please feel free to ask about this! I know I got a few new followers from all my recent sander sides art and also thanks to @sugarglider9603 reblogging some art I made of their au I got the biggest flood of exposure and attention on my art ive ever had and I have so much to thank them for, for all recent exposure ive gotten the past couple days( theyre so sweet and lovely and easy to talk to sugar deserves all the love--) and its given me a huge surge of motivation and confidence to post this. And please, my inbox is always open to talk about my aus or my art! Ask questions, send requests, send headcanons or ideas, send fluff angst im open to anything and I try to do all requests sent to me(sooner or later)

Oh oh! and please id you catch any and all the little inspirations or anything let me know

And finally this au is a LAMP au with Remile and Demus on the side

Ahem ahem anyway onto the au!!!

More under the cut so I dont flood your screen too bad!

Ok so! 

This Au was originally inspired by @residentanchor‘s amazing fanfic A Lesson in Practicality and also a little bit by @prettyinaccurate‘s fanged virgil au( I’ll get more into that further down) 

So it takes place in a (currently) unnamed bigger city I based off San Francisco and Sacramento( because I live in Cali and those are the two major cities ive really visited ya know?) The boys are all in various stages of their twenties when they move into a four bedroom apartment together: Patton Foster is the oldest of the roomies at 27, then Logan Masters at 26, Roman Prince at 24, and finally Virgil Collins at 22. They move in together because it all works out for them really, the apartment is in a good distance to all their current jobs, whether by bus or even in Pat’s case in walking distance and with all four of them it was well affordable and was pretty nice. I mean hey it even came with a little communal balcony ( since theyre on third floor of the building) 

Things are understandably a little rocky at first , i mean isnt it always though?

Virgil has alot of anxiety and so he tends not to talk really at all at the beginning unless he ABSOLUTELY had to, mostly communicating in noncomittal noises and soft grumbles, and he was fresh out of collage and barely two years into his job and out on his own for the first time and he wasnt really ready for it either like christ too many people

Patton was bright bubbly and caring. This wasnt his first rodeo with roomies, I mean cmon, hes been sharing a room with his older brother Damian(deceit) on and off almost all his freakin life, nor was it his first time living on his own with strangers(hes lived in two different parts of two when he was job hopping before he settled down in his current part time job)

Roman was extroverted loud and exciteable, he too was used to sharing his living space( he had TWO siblings after all) and before he had moved into the apartment he had tried living on his own and with other roommates while he attended collage, but those just didnt work out well ( he ended up staying with his older brother Remy in his studio apartment across the city while he finished out that semester and searched for a job to keep an income.

Logan was serious minded stern toned and confident, he had a minor degree in teaching that he was slowly repursueing and had been out on his own for awhile before he had moved in. And though cold at first he soon found his group of housemates...enjoyable.

Its about a month into them living together that they learn exactly why despite slowly getting close and getting to know each other Virgil still kept a wide distance: He had entirely sharp teeth.

“ I dunno....I was born with them..theyve always been a sharp pain in my ass...” - virgil, about his teeth

Of course just having sharp teeth wasnt bad enough oh no. You see a few years back when he was about 18 he was young and dumb and made horrifically stupid and reckless decisions under peer pressure and ended up doing something that not only pointedly (haha oh god im not funny) chipped his front teeth but it fucked up his teeth pretty majorly, he went from having a normal overbite to almost having a goddamn underbite and crooked all his teeth, and the only way to fix it( because somehow miraculous for all the damage done it turned out to be mostly reversable aside from the chipping) was getting braces to realign his teeth. So he’s had pretty purple braces over his fangs since he was 18 and they werent expected to come off until he was AT LEAST 25 and he was insecure about them. ( he got mocked for them through his two and a half years of junior collage)

Once the gang finds out they are understanding and helpful and dont make a big deal about it( though virgil gains a significant amount of more vampire related nicknames from roman)

Once they get close and comfortable around each other the apartment is pretty warm and lively! 

Virgil works at the art store as an assistant manager and head stocker( a bit of a dream come true since he was an art student)

Roman works as a part time waiter at a family resturant as well as working at a nearby theater( he was of course a lovely theater major) 

Patton worked at a nearby cafe and bakery as a bit of everything! He helped wait tables, serve behind the counter, and helped in the back in the kitchen( the owners were family friends and he’d been working there almost four to five years at that point, boi knows how to do everything) 

Logan worked at a big name bookstore, and also provided tutoring sessions for highschool students on the side by commision

More FACTS~~

Family ages for the big families go as follows:

Fosters: Damian(28), Patton(27)

Prince: Remy(26), Roman(24, older twin by 10 minutes), Remus(24, younger twin)

Emile is 27 and is a licensed therapist and works as a counselor for young adults that volunteers at the nearby library to ready to children

Remy works as a coffee barista in Emile’s building

Remus does alot of odd jobs, kinda working as an independent for hire and gets a surprising steady flow of work and pay. Hes still a trash man though, but hes a successful trash man( partly thanks to Damian calling in favors with connections)

Damian works at a law firm slowly moving into the position of prosecutor

Virgil doesnt really get along with his family and at some point Emile offers to take virgil in as his adopted brother, with Damian assuring him if he wanted concrete legal papers to start changing his last name, cutting ties with his family, anything needed for it he’d see to it that they’d be providing(something our boi really appreciates)

Remy visits Emile on his breaks since hes literally just...two hallways down and vice versa

Damian and Remus live together in the next, slightly smaller city over because Damian’s work transferred him to a different office in order for him to keep moving up in the ranks so to speak. 

Hes also good at what he does.

Family nights happen whenever they can

Patton got to teach them how to cook alot of complicatied dishes from scratch, a bonding time he adores

Roman got Virgil an Espeon hoodie after they all start dating and virgil loves it and wears it alot around the house because its a thicker hoodie and warm( though he tries to ignore the big ears and the obnovious tail

Virgil also loves visiting Roman’s work on what Ro likes to refer to as “ hellish days” AKA kids day which means goofy kid friendly theme days. His favorite was probably alice in wonderland day when Roman was Tweedle Dee

Roman played J.D at the local theater and likes to hum some of the his songs to switch up the Disney

The balcony is covered in houseplants and and a corner of old blankets and pillows to sit and chill on

Once a month Logan and Patton have what is affectionately referred to as the Cat Discourse

After any particularly rough days at work Patton tends to massage Logan’s shoulders and back to make sure Lo doesnt get any really bad stress knots

in return when Logan sees Patton’s head a hard day he makes Patton’s favorite drink and pulls him into a hug and let the older man fall asleep in his arms while they watch movies

Pat and roman sense each other’s bad days and order in some cliche diner food and hole up in pattons room with Pattons computer and relax the shittiness away with comedy specials and movies 

Likewise Virgil has a knack of picking up Roman’s bad days and always grabs a couple glasses and a bottle kinda cheap wine and they end up curling up together on Romans bed marathoning Disney movies on Virgil’s laptop 

and when Virgil closes himself off more than normal Logan manages to lure him out of his room and they end up sitting out on the balcony quietly talking and stargazing

so loving and fond and soft with each other

you hurt one of them you gonna get BEAT by the others. 

Speaking of getting beat, never EVER mess with Roman or Remus in Remy’s proximity

Remy Andrew Prince can and WILL fuck you right up if you hurt his little brothers. He’s protective.

and where Remy will rearrange your face Damian will ruin you mentally and legally if you so much as mistreat a single freckle on his little brother’s face, despite knowing that Patton is fully capable of taking care of himself. 

Everyone protects Virgil, dont mess with or hurt virgil or you have the pack coming for ya throat

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand thats all I have for right now! Of course more will be added but now its almost three in the morning and I have work at 1:30pm and im sleepy finally! But I hope you guys like this! And please, feel free to talk to me about it, my inbox is always open!!

Taglist: @phantommoonpeople @sweetsweetemo @loganberrysanders

[sakuchangbin]

🍑 Get To Know Me Tag 🍑

I was tagged by @unnie-uwu 💕

🍑🍑🍑🍑

Name: Miah (I’m also throwing my age in here because I’m 24 and old.)

Nicknames: Honestly just a bunch of random ways to mispronounce my name lol

Gender: Female

Zodiac: I’m a Leo but my Cancer Moon is strong af

Height: 5’1

Time: 2:55 pm

Favorite Musicians: Got7, Day6, Exo, Bts, Shinee, Big Bang, iKON, TVXQ, Winner, Block B, Zico, Seventeen, Astro, Sf9, 2pm, Junho, Knk, Ftisland, Bap, Monsta X, ACE, The Rose, Vixx, Pentagon, Blackpink, Mamamoo, Highlight, Stray Kids and literally all the solos from all of these groups. One Direction, 5Sos, Post Malone, Loco, Dean, Ariana Grande, Ateez, Bazzi, Cardi B, CL, Crush, Dua Lipa, Fall Out Boy, Halsey, Harry Styles, Hayley Kiyoko, Hyuna, Imfact, Jay Park, Little Mix, Park Jimin, Sam Kim, Sam Smith...and more but this got long.

Song stuck in my head: Lonely Night by Knk

Last movie I saw: Black Mirror: Bandersnatch unfortunately because that was a weird trip.

Last thing I googled: ticketfly Knk (because it’s happening)

Last song I listened to: I believe it was Blood by Day6 but it could’ve been I’m OK by ikon...I can’t remember

Other blogs:

@foxesunderthemoon (my main that used to be a one direction blog until I got into kpop)

@girls-love-girls-dont-they (a side blog once again but like more of my personal blog)

Do I get asks: Sometimes but I wish I got more lol

Why did I choose this username: I mean it’s pretty self explanatory. Jinyoung is a King so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Following: Followers on here 127 and I’m following 734

Amount of sleep I got: like 8 hours last night.

Lucky number: 7 or 27 because it’s my birth month and day

What I’m wearing: pajamas which includes a Big Bang hoodie and ghost busters pants lol

Dream job: Writer, Social Media, Makeup Artist

Dream Trip: Ireland, South Korea

Favorite foods: I could literally eat chicken every day. And Italian food. Pasta all the way.

Instruments: I have tried so many but I get restless and give up easily

Favorite songs: as of right now tho

1. Ghost of You by 5sos

2. City Lights by TVXQ

3. Letting Go by Day6

4. Youngblood by 5sos

5. Monster Among Men by 5sos

Relationship status: single but like I have my soul mate @teamwanggae

Favorite colors: pastel pink, black, and grey

Three books:

1. The Princess Saves Herself in This One by Amanda Lovelace

2. November 9 by Colleen Hoover and literally all of her other books.

3. Also I read a lot of zodiac books and I love them

Three tv shows:

1. The Amazing World of Gumball

2. We Bare Bears

3. Bobs Burgers

(I’m a child)

Book I’m reading now: honestly I’m not...I suck.

How many blankets do you sleep in: I have 3 giant comforters and I legit just want more 😂

Anything I want: a good year

🍑🍑🍑🍑

Thanks for tagging me!!! 💕💕💕

Sorry if you’ve already done this!!!

Also no one has to if they don’t want to!!!

I’m tagging @yoonohho @mysoftbabies @sweetdreamer90 @hoe4hobixo @melomonx97 @mykindofkpop @teanites @baekhyunbitz @bsseokmin @i-need-u-sweet-lullaby @captainmeow-and-chairmanknots @korimi4 @jinxjunk @shootfortheestrella @teamwanggae @im-a-loser-baebae

[inactivesimblrr]

get to know me tag!

tagged by @literalite (thank u lamer clone!) n im not tagging anyone bc.............. every1 i think i know has already been tagged so thats calm, there r 125 questions below!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Pat[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? pat

3. BIRTHDAY? 23rd of nov!!!!! <3 (2001)

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? hmhmhnnnn,,,,, lotr, the hobbit, harry potter, anything from the grishaverse,,, idk man i like books a lot,,, the raven cycle,,, hnmgmg,,

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? aliens 100% i believe in them! ghosts? i mean... i half kind of do half dont but my kind of ghost aint the same as the usual idea of a ghost yanno? mine r nicer <3

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? leigh bardugo, tolkien, i would say j.k rowling but shes trash! her books r good tho ://

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? ??? idk so im gon pretend this means podcast and in that case im listening to the black tapes rn! 

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? matcha or strawberry!!!!!!

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? thats swag (i began using it ironically but now i cant stop)

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? uhhh eve or the wonderful world by mark joshua! orrr shiloh by little chief!! 

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? grinned

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  walking back to georgia by jim croce

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? honestly.... drop dead diva... im sorry.... but tbh i dont watch tv all that often!! ACTUALLUY HECK i would def recommend merlin the bbc tv series and ofc sherlock the tv series but keep in mind both those recs will rip out your heart MULTIPLE times,

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? .......... im down all the time lolol but tbh all the harry potter films + the 1st fantastic beasts movie, all the lotr films and all the hobbit films AND sherlock both the rdj and jude law films and then the bbc sherlock christmas special the abominable bride

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yah! my all time favourite game is tes oblivion!! it has been my fav since i was 6!

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? my life not working out the way i want to!! i want my life to be happy and long and spent with the people i love and not having 2 worry abt money or health!!!

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i think maybe my ability to find everything funny??

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my temper is beyond vicious honestly like im not kidding my temper is.... disgusting

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? birds

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? winter

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah!

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? im still a kid im only 17!!! and uh,, i miss the innocence!! i miss being oblivious!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i dont have one!

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? brownn w/ a bit of green!

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? dark brown!

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my parents and my family!

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? jude law, sebastian stan, emma stone

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? back to school shopping!! also i get to eat fried chicken and cheesecake tonight because even tho my birthday was yesterday im celebrating it today!!!!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? stationery??? video games?? FOOD??

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? jane and the dragon!

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i dont know what a male is sorry

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a baby bit only

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? n’aw i dont think so!

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? i mean... if i weren’t as ugly as i am id love to be in front of a camera doing fun acting stuff or whatnot! but bc i am ugly im usually behind the camera + i do film at school!

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? lettering/calligraphy!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? what if its us by becky abertalli + adam silvera (its so cute but the ending was.... not satisfactory...)

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald!!!

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? used 2 play piano, accordion, and violin! but i dont do tht anymore!

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? bird!! 

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? too many 2 pick from !!! im srry!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? gdgs all of them!!!!! maybe the power to warp reality bc i could do anything then?? a reality where im married to jude law or emma stone? done, a reality where i have all the powers in the world? done

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? a cliff somewhere where its cold and the water is vicious underneath!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? babies, animals, happy couples, pregnant people, old people, a lot of things really!

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i used 2 do karate but now i dont do sports!

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? idfsng idk! strawberry milkshake maybe?? matcha boba??? milk!!

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? last week!!! i love handwriting!

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah!

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? ppl who r rude for no reason and also ppl at school who just pick on other ppl for no reason looking at you rahni teagan and the other f*ckheads!!! hope u die literally i know thats a horrible thing to say but you all deserve it

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? i went to two twenty one pilot concerts!! the first one was in the forum in melbourne and then the other one was a few years or one year later and it was in a sold out stadium!! both were in the mosh! and then idk if this counts as a concert but i went to and did the meet and greet for dan and phil’s first tour! i dont like them anymore tho ! ://

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no way in HELL!!!!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a lot of things!!! famous actress, spy, war general, prime minister, pro wrestler, explorer, cartographer, filmmaker, architect, interior designer, dragon, PIRATE

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i know this is a bad idea but honestly the harry potter universe PROVIDED i had magic!! bc like,,, yah

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? a lot of things! my future mainly lol :(

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? no but i gotta say sometimes in the middle of the night when i wake up and the undefined shape my clothes sitting on my desk chair looks like That i get a bit worried yanno it looks like a demon im not gonna lie

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? ya but i dont htink im any good at it!

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? only due to sickness, funerals, or holidays!

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my house! OR the cliffs of moher :o)

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in some old old old european castle in the middle of nowhere on a mountain and next to the sea

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nuu :( but i do feed a lot of birds that come to my house and ive named them and love them even if the lorikeets dont love me back which is fine!!!! :(

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? early bird i guess

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets??

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes! but i dont have my full lisence only my learner’s permit!!

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones (noise cancelling!!)

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yup!! they were green!!

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? soft rock, indie folk, indie-everything mainly except for indie-rock,,, country music dont hate my i love country music as long as its certain country music!! aint having none of this keith urban rubbish in my house!! we only listen 2 the james taylor brand of country music in this house!!! so i guess country folk. folk music in general is my jam!!! i love ballads as well and ofc blues!! theres so many more jbdsgjbas but i cant possibly list all of it!!!

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? the idea of me living out the future i want if that makes sense!

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yah!!

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? a lot of things honestly!!!! 2 many to list im really passionate!

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book but i read more on electronic devices bc its easy and i dont have to worry about lights !!

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? idk!!!!!!!! maybe history!

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? nup!! im an only child thanK GOD

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? movie tickets to crimes against grindelwald last night!!

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? i think im like 176cm??

75. CAN YOU COOK? only if i have a recipe! but i can make really good drinks (non alcoholic ofc!!)

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? rainy weather, good literature, my family

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? hubris, wrath, pococurantism

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? female

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? ?????????? who knows

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? australia!!

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my group chat

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? my birthday yesterday lol

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? dont want youtube tht much anymore tbh

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? nah

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? procreate

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? incredibly close with both parents but fight with my dad like cats n dogs

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? irish or strong strong american or posh english also scottish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? israel, republic of ireland, and so many more places like nksgskbgs i cant list them also all the nordic countries

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? nah 

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both!!!!!! 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? daring in terms of i like to do things that could potentially kill me for the adrenaline rush but not daring in terms of introducing myself to other ppl lol

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nah thank GOD

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? oui

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? non

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ill happily admit i’m wrong provided the other person wasnt a douchebag about it but even then ill admit im wrong! aint no shame in recognising ur wrong ma dude

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? dont like the beach but i love the sea?? so forest i guess bc i dont like sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? "two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own” - adam lindsay gordon

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? an excellent one, but i dislike lying and value honesty so!!

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? ssssss slytherin!

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? ya

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? cop out answer here but it depends on the situation

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yes

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? try and find the owner and track em down but if i cant ill hand it in to the place where it was lost

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? ears but theyre closed up!!

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? thorin oakenshield

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nah

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? ? idk man

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? no, too many bad people are living good lives right now

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope! perfect vision here my dude!

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? in the future i want 1 child only

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my little cousin

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? a Lot

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? a few times only, but i value sleep

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black and green

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? hell ya !

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? audience member for the xfactor!

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “so comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.” -tolkien OR “always seek the giant.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savoury

[snowlilys-wife]

Get To Know Me (Tagged)

1. What is your full name? Sorry, I’m just “Hannah” to yall

2. What is your nickname? Any classic “Hannah-(insert rhyme here)” joke you can possible think of

3. What is your zodiac sign?  Leo

4. What is your favourite book series? Im not into a lot of books, but manga-wise, my favorite is Fruits Basket and Servamp

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Nope

6. Who is your favourite author? Dunno????

7. What is your favourite radio station? I don’t listen to the radio

8. What is your favourite flavour of anything? Usually anything chocolate or strawberry will be good

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? “Awesome!” or “Nice!”

10. What is your current favourite song? Currently: “All Eyes on Me” by OR3O

11. What is your favourite word? ??? I dont think I have one

12. What was the last song you listened to? All Eyes on Me^^^^ XDDD

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Fullmetal Alchemist, Servamp, Ouran High School Host Club, Durarara!!, among many others

14. What is your favourite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Servamp or Ouran

15. Do you play video games? Ahhhh sometimes

16. What is your biggest fear? Being alone or unhappy the rest of my life

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? Uhhhhhh???

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? My attachment and dependence on other people

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats

20. What is your favourite season? Winter/Spring

21. Are you in a relationship? No

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Having no responsibilities and being carefree about a lot of things

23. Who is your best friend? Asia, Honour, Emily, Briana

24. What is your eye colour? Brown

25. What is your hair colour? Naturally dirty blonde/light brown, but dyed Auburn Red

26. Who is someone you love? All my friends mentioned above

27. Who is someone you trust? All my friends mentioned above

28. Who is someone you think about often? All my friends mentioned above

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Anime Expo and my 21st bday

30. What is your biggest obsession? When am I not obsessed with anime

31. What was your favourite TV show as a child? Depends on how young. As a kid, i watched a lot of Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network (so think early 2000s cartoons) and Sonic X and Xialolin Showdown too!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My friend Nick

33. Are you superstitious? Not really

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? I’m afraid of a lot of things lol

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I enjoy being in front of the camera if I look good

36. What is your favourite hobby? Drawing, singing to myself, and video editing

37. What was the last book you read? Don’t remember

38. What was the last movie you watched? Don’t remember

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? Used to play piano. Not much now

40. What is your favourite animal? Cheetahs and Sloths

41. What are your top 5 favourite Tumblr blogs that you follow? All my friends mentioned above (crazyanime3, karmakitty, sleepyem1, and mermaibee)

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Invisibility or Flying

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? In my room late at night

44. What makes you smile? My friends, anime, good music, good art, my ocs, my OTPs

45. What sports do you play, if any? I used to play softball in high school

46. What is your favourite drink? Peppermint White Mocha, Caramel Macchiato, and Dr. Pepper

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Been years tbh

48. Are you afraid of heights? Im afraid of falling, but not of heights by themselves

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? Drivers who dont use their signals, when people say im a good “draw-er” (its not a word, people)

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yeah a few

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? NOPE

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A fashion designer

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Durarara, Soul Eater, or Ouran I guess

54. What is something you worry about? A lot of things

55. Are you scared of the dark? Not really

56. Do you like to sing? Yes but im terrible at it

57. Have you ever skipped school? Only in college

58. What is your favourite place on the planet? I enjoy coffee shops and ramen shops

59. Where would you like to live? In Washington or Oregon

60. Do you have any pets? My family does, but none of them are mine. We have 3 dogs

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? I prefer to be a night owl, but I can easily fuction in the morning, I just need to get enough sleep

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets

63. Do you know how to drive? Yup

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? I like both. Headphones at home, earbuds in public

65. Have you ever had braces? No

66. What is your favoruite genre of music? Rock and Alternative

67. Who is your hero? Dunno

68. Do you read comic books? Yes

69. What makes you the most angry? Jerks and people who think they are better than/more entitled than others

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Both depends on what it is, but typically real books.

71. What is your favourite subject in school? Art and Drama/Theater

72. Do you have any siblings? Yes

73. What was the last thing you bought? $250 worth of Servamp merch

74. How tall are you? 5′7-8″

75. Can you cook? Some things, but not really well

76. What are three things that you love? Friends, anime, affection/attention

77. What are three things that you hate? jerks, public speaking, gross food

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female

79. What is your sexual orientation? At this point, pretty bi I guess.

80. Where do you currently live? California

81. Who was the last person you texted? My friend Clover

82. When was the last time you cried?  A week ago

83. Who is your favourite YouTuber? Game Grumps, The Anime Man, Kubz Scouts, YandereDev (if that counts)

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes, but only with filters

85. What is your favourite app? Spotify/Tumblr

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? Mostly okay when there is no conflict

87. What is your favourite foreign accent? British

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Japan

89. What is your favourite number? 12

90. Can you juggle? No

91. Are you religious? I’m Christian

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Both are terrifying and I dont like to think about them

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Nope

94. Are you allergic to anything? No

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? If I believe I am justified, then no, but I will almost always admit when I’m wrong

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach

99. What is your favourite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "Keep going”

100. Are you a good liar? Depends

101. What is your Hogwarts House? I've never seen or read Harry Potter but I guess Hufflepuff?

102. Do you talk to yourself? Yeah, a lot

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Depends on who Im around

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? Not really but sometimes i write out my vents if i need to

105. Do you believe in second chances? I give chance after chance after chance after chance

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Turn it in

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes if they are willing to

108. Are you ticklish? Yes, very

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Many times

110. Do you have any piercings? Just my ears.

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Snow Lily and Sakuya from Servamp or Mikorin from GSNK

112. Do you have any tattoos? No

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Joining SL Discord

114. Do you believe in karma? Not really, no

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Both

116. Do you want children? Yes, lots!

117. Who is the smartest person you know? I know a lot of smart people

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Cringey weeaboo middle school me

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? A few times

120. What colour are most of you clothes? Black and red

121. Do you like adventures? Depends

122. Have you ever been on TV? No

123. How old are you? 20

124. What is your favourite quote? Cant think of one

125. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? Definitely sweet

-collapses- That took way longer than I expected. Ive got a few more on the way too. Thanks for reading!

I tag: @kavourikarma , @sleepyem1 , @mermaibee , @chubbychicken1412

[roccoroks]

Dag volume 4 ok its been a while now since i updated my dag post sooooooo.... its time its been a few weeks or so and i have had a meriade of dumb fucks roll through here but non was as big of a cluster fuck as this family! this guy was a grade a prostitues asshole cover in warts and his family were more needy than Alec Baldwin is a man child. it happened at the Grand Rod Run a few weeks back and it has taken me some time to sit down and type this up soo... 9/13/2013 3pmish its was another rod run, the parking lot was packed and i was maning the helm and sitting on 2 rooms left to rent for the night. i wanted them gone fast so i could flip the "no"sign on and sit down and continue vectoring a project i was working on. *dag walks in with a walk of arogance...no shit, just sunters in like he fucking owns the place or like he is the fucking president or some shit* me- good afternoon, welcome to the RSML (RiverSide Motor Lodge) dag- wheres johny me- (fucking dick, must be one of johnys friends) im sorry johny no longer works for us (because i fired his ass! mawahahahha) dag- cute, wheres he at, i need a room. me- -.- (hurrr we go) well like i said he is no longer with the company, we changed hands back in march and my aunt and myself are now the new owners of the property. we felt that he was holding the business back and loosing us money so i let him go. dag- look, i know the rutine, john told you to say he no longer works here so he can take the show off. but what i need you to do is call him so i can get my usual rate, i drove 9 hours to get here and im very tired and want a room. *dags family walks in, a fat wife with 2 small children with here. one stuck in a fat roll the other in perpetual orbit around her midsection like one of jupitur's moons* me- (wow, this guy might be retarted) sir as i already explained to you, johny no longer works, or is in any way a acting manager or affiated with RSML. i have his discharge papers in the back if you would like to see them, i am one of the new owners here and would be more than happy to help you. (there, see i can be a nice guy) dag- wtf do you mean he is no longer affiliated with you, hes the owner! (this is a very comon thing, johny told everyone he was the owner im guessing to get laid or some shit and now he has like 30 people who expect to stay for free now) me- -.- sir he was never the owner, he was our gm, if he told you other wise he was a lier and this was one of the reasons he was let go. he was costing us almost 100,000 a year due to bad management and pour business skills so we elected to not rehire him. dag- so johnys not the owner... me- (for reals bro? dafuq you not understand ingrish?) never was.....e.e >>>>~~~~~~ dag- well... i need a room, john always saved me one for the rod run. me- (tough shit, im putting you in one of the fuck huts where the bed is covered in semen and used rubbers) yes sir i have 2 rooms left, both of them 1 queen jacuzzi suites. dag: i have 2 kids and my wife with me, we all cant sleep in a 1 queen suite, i need a bigger room me- (first off, thats a marine creature, not a wife and those two parasitic lampray you call kids can sleepoutside for all i care) im sorry sir but those are the only rooms i have, now they do have a pull out couch you can use. next year you may want to make reservations with us to garuntie what room you get. dag- well it willhave to do. how much, remeber johny usually gives me a really good rate. me- (i dont give a good god damn if johny sucked your dick everynight before you went to bed!) the room is 165.00 plus tax dag- wtf johny only charges me 59.95 a night when i come up here!!! me- hince why we fired him dag- this is out ragous! (watch this dumb motherfucker will still pay it) me- (no your wife is out ragous! just look at that magestic beast!) im sorry but those are the rates. (buy this time the kids are teasing my parrot, we have a 27 year old parrot that has been in the business since we open. on his cage in 3 different places it says *danger, the bird bites!*. so naturaly the little shits are trying to poke him) me- you might wont to stop your kids from sticking there fingers in the cage, the bird bites. dag- for 165 we should beable to take the bird home! me-(what ever, chances are they will be just as retarted as you anyway, whats the lose of a few fingers) ok but if they get bit its on you *iring him up andhand him his keys to his sestpool* *on the way out the door, i hear a sharp, squeal from a small child. the one that was stuck in the manaties fat roll had worked her hand free and stuck it in the bird cage. peppy, our bird, took offence to this and bit the shit out of her finger. oh yes....there was blood.....* dag- your fucking bird just bit my kid! me- ( /).- not shit...the bird bit her.,....just like i said she would... WELL FUCK ME IM SHOCKED! I CANT BELIVE THAT HAPPENED AFTER I SAID IT WOULD! PRAISE BE TO JESUS! IF A FUCKING MIRICALE.... dumbass) sir if you will remeber and also read one of the many signs on the cage, i said the bird bites and you may want to restrain your kids from sticking there fingers in there. dag- you should have a bird that bites in your main lobby, its a liability. me- (so is having a walrus follow you around, i hear its mating season and they can get testy when horny) well most people dont stick there fingers in a cage with signs on it that say * danger, this bird bites* on it. dag- what about kids? what do you do about that? me- I TELL THERE PARENTS NOT TO LET THEM DO THAT JUST LIKE I DID WITH YOU (YOU DUMB FUCK) dag- *evil look* me- *eviler grin* (your move bitch....) *dag walks out with out further conflict* -2 HOURS LATER- *phone rings* me-.........no....were full.....im not answering *ring,ring,ring* me- i swear the fuck to god that i will set you on fire if you say "do you have any rooms left" *ring ring ring* me- i get it...for fuck sake......*ahem* rsml dag- hey me- yes sir dag- we aint got no sheets, for 165 a night i expect to have extra sheets. me- have you checked the drawers in the.... dag- yes we looked everywhere me- (how about your wifes fat ass? huh, didnt think so) ok no problem we have them down here in the office. dag- run me up a set *hangs up* me-.....dafuq? FUCK YOU! *goes back to reading "the fall of five" and eating m&m's* 30 MINS LATER *dag walks in* dag- hey, wheres my sheets? i thought i told you to run them up to me me- im sorry i must have forgot (FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHEETS) *dags family walks in, goes to the pool to swim* dag- you mean i have to actually come down to get the sheets i need? me-im sorry for the trouble but im the only one here right now and cant leave the desk dag- fine....ill get the sheets later then. *dag walks out to the pool* -later that day_ me- *looking at the security cams in the pool area* ....und her vee hove zee megestic hoomp back whale in ur natural habilitat. und watch as shee floots gracafully true ze wotur......*phone rings*....damn it! thats was a spot on Jacques Cousteau impression! *anwers phone* me- front desk guest- yes my daughter was just down there and she went to the ladies room and she said it was so dirty that she felt like she needed a shower me-(oh no...thats not good...no no no no no!) im sorry mam i will go and look into that right now guest- she said it was like a wild animal was in there me-.....O.O (the shebeast!) yes mam i wil....... guest- she says it was everywher me- mam guest- the nastiest me- maaaam guest- like a bomb went of me- MAM! guest- yes? me- ill take care of that. guest- ok thank you me- *click!* me-..... this can only mean one thing.....the shebeast....she took a duce! *gets up to check bathroom, upon entering venting area im hit with a fragrance of shit so foul that im sure that it could make satan himself say "GAWD DAYUM!"* me- holy fuckers! *opens womens room door* me-....O.O.....mother of god...... *im not sure who or what was in there but this is what i imagin happened* Poultrygeist Night of the Chicken Dead fat guy crapping - YouTube me- im sooooo not cleaning this up...... *locks doors and goes home*

[youre-a-wizard-liz-hart]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better. Tagged by: @gedanklune (sorry this took so longgg) 1.Nicknames: Toni 2.Gender: Female

3.Star sign: Gemini

4.Height: 5′4″

5.Time: 8:51PM

6.Birthday: May 29

7.Favorite bands: oooohhhh MCR (shout out to 12 year old me) weezer… I think Ghosted is a band but they only have one song “Get Some” which I LOVE.. ALSO! A really cool filipino band with some english song I totally recommend if you like the band Saint Motel >> “IV OF SPADES” look them up!

8.Favorite solo artists: Post Malone, BORNS, Joji, Florence and the Machine, Aly & Aj

9.Song stuck in my head: “Hey Barbara” IV OF SPADES 

10.Last movie I watched: Rogue One 

11.Last show I watched: stranger things

12.When did I create my blog: uhhhhhh

13.What do I post/reblog: Wizardess Heart things. I specifically look out for WH memes.

14.Last thing I googled: How to spell Rogue

15.Other blogs: hhhhhh

16.Do I get asks: occasionally

17. Why I choose my URL: it made sense for me to use this

18.Following: like bc this is a side blog

19.Followers: 345

20. Average hours of sleep: 7-8

21: Lucky number: 3

22.Instruments: the recorder lmaoo

23.What I’m wearing: Sweatshirt leggings and half socks

24.Dream job: Freelance artist

25.Dream trip: Korea, Philippines 

26.Favorite food: nearly any filipino food and creme brulee 

27.Nationality: American

28. Favorite song right now: "Where have you been, My Disco” IV OF SPADES

29.Last book I read: ooohhh... I was reading little bits of the Drink and Dream Teahouse at a dollar store while my boyfriend was shopping for word puzzles and picture frames. I remember because it was a 25 cent book and kind of interesting but I didnt end up buying it. 

30. Top Three Fictional Universes You’d Want to Join: Wizardess Heart for SURE! I love all the test questions we get because it actually does sometimes apply to real life magic for spiritual and religious purposes Grand Guignol Orchestra universe. it’s a beautiful short manga about a scifi medieval france with zombies that react to music. it’s REALLY interesting and I recommend checking it out. Vampire diaries ngl.... my guilty pleasure is vampires...

Tagging: ..... 20??????? i dont have tht many friends... lmaooo if you’re tagged in this and have done it already just ignore..

@thatsociallyawkwardgirl, @aruhirako, @phantomchou @fayemichaels, @otome-doll, @asslesschapsemporium, @artistic-aidorus, @donetorhasslichliebe, @fandomsarelife470, @romancenerd, @natty-rosie wait....thts your...not wh blog... u tagged me..im..hh....and anyone else... ahahah

[thegurlbehindthesmile]

I Wonder....

Hologram- The Technicolors plays in the background.

What race did i think i was in all this time? It was like this perpetual reminder constantly nagging me in my head...

what your 18 better not be singe for long-

 better go to college and forget about boys

- better get a degree and make lots of money

...married at 22 no degree - 

better excel in your career and climb the corporate ladder. 

hours of work and devotion 

BUT wait, dont work too hard you gotta have kids before your 30

what about an apartment- 

how about a trailer- 

how about a HOUSE. 

.. First son at 27- 

turning 30 at the end of this year. where did the time go?

...together for 11 years, married for 7 years, a 2 year old , a house, a dog, two cars.

i did exactly what i wanted to do in life.   i suppose.

don’t get me wrong i probably would seem obnoxiously ungrateful if i didn’t just stop there and say THANKS.

beautiful son. gorgeous husband.

the list goes on-  everything ive set my mind to in the past decade i have made come true.

NOW WHAT

i had this alarm in my head that i had to do “all this before 30″ why?? health reasons? statistic reasons? rumors? stories, why?

i feel like im rounding the last bend to a marathon i didnt even ask to be in? (or did i??!)

i think throughout my hussle and bussle (although i DID have SOME fun) i got lost in it all. I quickly entered the world of being 18 shattered battered and...engaged? positive that the love i was about to receive would catapult me into everything id ever needed.  (i guess it sorta did.)   career driven. beautiful. man on my side. ring on my hand “livin life” literally just climbing any career ladder i could- i had my “husband” as my cheerleader at my side. HUSBAND guys would say- “you’re to young”. yeah i got that ALOT. going to 21st birthday parties as the only married girl there. WHO WAS I.  we took married and young by the horns. i was so driven. you get over whelmed by the freedom. naturally you fall into some sort of rhythm because nice things cost money, and time just passes as you work and watch your work pay off. you feel accomplished. i was sure i saw my career in site and one would assume this WAS IT. this was the magic they talked about- enjoying your 20s- having a career u love- being MARRIED and secure. perfect...................

we were... the first couple to have an apartment. (so; big parties- no rules *rolls eyes)  we had a”wedding” so we had all these lovely gifts and things to lavish ourselves with in our first apartment. THE DREAM right?  just working and living and having fun. we traveled alot,, camped- we had big dreams to always be “like this” forever. in a moment (5 years into the beautiful maddness actually) we were sure we needed to materialize this power we had. this “love” we had needed to be a thing, a thing we wanted to nurture and bless and carry with us on our adventures. we had so much love we were ready to see what we could grow. (and grow it did- we had JP) 

the first year was hard- a new dynamic...we werent 2 anymore we were 3. and all of our decisions had a larger precaution. we wanted different things. rooted things. more stability. more direction. the air was different.

i was different.

i had put my career aside in my mind to concentrate on.on being something that something ELSE would flourish and grow beautifully in (um literally?) KIDS. i will be the first to tell you, kids were not on my radar (i just never saw myself as a kid person, i never understood the look parents give their little humans time after time- it confused me- it scared me i guess. it was just foreign.) till... i put allllll other thoughts aside. most definetly my first act of unconditional unselfish love. “hey self, we are about to give up our entire self to producing another human being” everything you smell eat touch. EVERYTHING. its like...well its like nothing youve ever gone through before until youve gone through it. we are fuckin amazing..the body can do some fuckin shit. COMPLETELY change in order to make this THING ... HUMANS and yeah. real hearts and lungs and little legs (oh and the hiccups, the awesome hiccups)

PHysically and mentally you go through some shit and although that may have been obvious to some- most??? it was not for me.

Mount Everest- Labrinth.

its just alot. im already not the best mentally- so to add this new function. emotional bandwith overload papi.

first its like 2,000 percent mom over load. YOU ARE A MOM and this teeny tiny creature needs you. NEEDS you. a need you thought you knew BUT YOU DO NOT. its this overwhelming warming beautiful amazing thing, the need a kid has for their parents. (i was IN IT- DEEP in IT)   IN love wasnt even the world. i do not loveeeee my son. my son IS LOVE. i can not explain it. but you get mentally rewired. i am not the girl i was before, im just not. 

i no longer wanted the career i had before. i no longer even wanted the LIFE i had before. i wanted more of this drug my son was giving me. this surreal daydream of laughs and kisses and just moments. time literally passes differently now. i see things differently now,  i feel things differently now. things have so much different meaning. i swear its as if im stuck in some molly, acid, shroom trip.

i feel like someone lit a fire to my soul and everything i touch now is illuminated differently.  when a person is growing inside you you can feel their heartbeat. you can feel the brush of their leg as they roll over to get comfortable. life has different meaning. LOVE has different meaning. love darling is caring you for 9 months and waiting with baited breathe for a stranger youve created. its a smell youve never smelled before and instantly is your favorite. its like you were never comfortable before they fell asleep in your arms, youve never known true peace until their skin was comfortable by yours. ITS PURE MAGIC .  i was different.  

some of the things i loved before, i- was confused about now. 

Love was different for me now,

how i wanted to give love.

how i wanted to receive love.

like a perpetual darkness was lifted from my eyes.

Wash.-Bon Iver

Im sorry i didnt know it would change ME. (im sorry about how cliche that sounds..)

from the moment i was little. it was go to school. get good grades. to go college. find a nice boy. get married. move in together, start a family- live happily ever after

but they leave out the nitty griddies. (even my own parents were divorced. who was anyone kidding) the years following our marriage all we heard about was how divorce was at its all time high. we vowed (among other things) that , that wouldnt be us. we both came from homes and divorce and we didnt want that for us. 

i think it was then that divorce became this ugly word. scary word. bad word.  i mean it is though..right?...

verb

1.legally dissolve one's marriage with (someone)

2.separate or dissociate (something) from something else.

we got married because. well im sure for different reasons?

i got married because,( it was what i was suppose to do?). you find someone you love and are attracted to and if your lucky enough to have them feel the same way- you... marry them. and thats that.you cant have kids or live with someone who you arent married too (said the stigma of my parents and those around me)  i mean i know theres more to it then that but a brief outline? leaving out all the mooshy stuff. you make this feeling legal, you change some names and now your not only emotionally reliant on this person but basically reliant on them for every fuckin single thing else too (basically).

marriage is beautiful.  if your lucky enough to find your soul mate in this world. someone who just gets you and enjoys your company and wierdness then your blessed and you would probably want to spend the rest of your existence with this person.  i mean it makes sense. 

its just as i’ve developed into this next stage of myself, ive made each of my actions have more purpose (i do this because everthing i do my son now sees and its just different now) howww i do something- what i say. i just think about it all and that includes the things i was naturally doing before that i never thought of.

marriage.  do i love my sons father yes. hes attractive and im attratced to him. hes funny and knows just how to make me laugh. its the little things. how he makes JP laugh or when their doing snuggles in his bed. how my son says Dada when hes upset or how he looks just like him. before my love for my husband was an array of things from love to lust- obsession. all the best and worse of love. we were inseparable. engulfed in each other in EVERY way, i knew we were in love and so did everyone around us. 

and then my son was born.

JP....i dont think you have to marry someone to show them how much you love them. i think true devotion starts with intention and your soul mate will know by your actions where your true feelings are.always be true. always be kind. i think if you want to love someone- love them fully, respectfully and unconditionally. learn and grow with them and from them and continue to make each other better people. and in that time you find your spark ignites another i employ you to indulge in meeting new people and new interactions. Make your heart full if you feel it hurting.  not bonded by anything physical but truly understanding that you were meant to love. REALLY LOVE. and maybe thats with one person forever, or a series of different people through out your life time in so many different and amazing ways. boys, girls.. just loving people and sparking the light in them only YOU can ignite. and becoming your best self.  only to continue to become your best self with that same intention for others. 

and thats my truth.   i look into your eyes and just want the best for you.knowing that’s different for you as it is me. but realizing i want to live by the example i want you to live by.

.... im not her anymore.

the day you were born i became someone new. 

[cheesyramynry]

taggy tag

the Living Sweetheart @starlightjeongin tagged me in this thank you so much melly :D

I tag: @ohkaypopthis !!! 

1. nickname: krys!!!!

2. gender: hahahahahahahahhahahahha uhhhh genderfluid 

3. star sign: virgo

4. height: 160 cm, or 5′3 but I have not measured myself in a while!! (im problably this tall and this tall only tho but i can dream!!!) 

5. time: 8:44 pm

6. birthday: september 9. (mel out here sharing a birthday with my love bang chan must be nice)

7. favourite band(s): kpop-wise, i would say i full on ult ult ult stan astro, got7, elris, mamamoo, day6, and stray kids, but there are like other groups with really good music like april, block b, bts, exo, myteen, pentagon, seventeen, vixx, vromance, winner and wonder girls (whaat i went alphabetical order?? shh). not k-pop, i really like hippo campus and yall should check them out they are, and the lumineers have a solid place in my heart <3 (also they arent bands bc they are duos but akmu and bolbbalgan4?? amazing)

8. favourite solo artist: oh dear lord i love so many AHA SO LIKE GUSTAV HOLST N CLAUDE DEBUSSY N MAURICE RAVEL N ARTURO MARQUEZ WOW GREAT ARTISTS GREAT ARTISTS lmao I really like dpr live, baek ah yeon, ailee, suzy, and zico in the solo kpop artist realm and in the non-kpop world i am a hecca big fan of beyonce, shakira, dodie, nicki minaj, cardi b, and leslie odom jr. like they are great and my music taste is crazy oml

9. song stuck in my head: for some DANG REASON its Oh Cecilia by the Vamps but its only the first three seconds where they say the title of the song and thats it its just the vocals and the harmony and the box they are hitting and the shaker idk but that has been in my head constantly thanks mel

10. last movie watched: lmao i watched the second half of Captain Underpants with my sister rn bc she’s watching netflix. real great movie for the animation style i love it

11. last show watched: do stray kids vlives count??? because i was watching their series on there idk

12. when did i create my blog: 2015 i think because i remember getting a notification saying my blog is three years old so i think like august 2014 or somth

13. what do i post: my original posts on this blog is usually tags and random things i think of but on my other blogs it’s writing. I tend to reblog a lot of kpop and memes and cool stuff on my other blogs tho :D

14. last thing i googled: “interpersonal communication definition” because communications class yay

15. do you have other blogs: @starry-kfics is the blog i share with homegirl mel and we write kpop fanfiction and make other cool things!!! @kpopdrabblecanons-lmao is my lowkey drabbles blog that i made over the summer bc i wanted a break from wattpad but now its just a queue of dogs, ice cream, and green/pink kpop stuff, and @persymmonry is my lil side blog where i reblog things i need to remember and more mj :D

16. do you get asks: not on this blog lmao but i usually get the tag things :D

17. why did you choose your url: i changed mine bc the muffintop832 era is coming to an end. rip 2011 deviantart. i chose cheesyramynry bc cheesy ramen is a magical thing to think of (i just had some lmao) and i changed the e to a y bc vowel changes are cool

18. following: 1783 blogs whOOPS

19. followers: 370 whats good my 300 pornbots

20. favourite colour(s): green and purple!!!!1!1!!!

21. average hours of sleep: around 5-7 weekdays (i either sleep at 11 or 1 lmao), and on weekends, it could be like 8+ bc i tend to stay up and sleep in lmao

22. lucky number: i guess 20 or 3

23. instruments: i started playing piano when i started elementary, and about late into the 3rd year of elementary school i quit taking lessons but i can still play some piano. in november 2010 i started playing the flute, and in november 2015 i started playing bassoon. around 2014/2015 i picked up the ukulele!!

24. what am i wearing: jeans, my tlt shirt for pathfinders bc i tHOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PATHFINDERS BUT LIKE I HAD NO RIDE SO SORRY TO DISAPPOINT LMAO IMA BAD TLT

25. how many blankets i sleep with: one. i am a sweaty child. used to be two but i would sleep on top of the comforter with a smaller blanket??

26. dream job: something that i absolutely love 100%. i used to say teaching but now i doubt my teaching skills so i dont know anymore :(

27. dream trip: i wanna like drive out in the netherlands where its just green field or some european country like that and know what a flat green field and clouds and wind and emptiness looks like

28. favourite food: spicy ramen is rad, rice crackers, fried anchovies with rice, thai food, mexican food, and american food

29. nationality: filipino/dominican republican 

30. favourite song now: UUUUHHHHH i have been listening to danzon by arturo marquez on repeat recently so i guess that??

[dissirnulo-blog]

Hello! I just stumbled on this blog by complete accident, and it's interesting to read your posts about akechi! I'm sorry if this actually comes of rude or ignorant or whatever, but i'm genuinely curious about life in orphanages in japan. Your akechi seems to be awfully not fond of it, and i guess the same with go with canon akechi actually. What are you thoughts?

OH MY GOSH? im really flattered that you found them interesting, and im more flattered that you actually want to hear my thoughts on such a delicate subject. youre not being rude or anything!!

i very well cant give proper opinions on a subject without laying down the facts first, though, and surprisingly, other than passing mentions and links to an article or two, no one really talked about just how awful the system is in japan, and in turn how it affected goro, so let me talk about the system while adding in my own commentary

WARNING: WERE GOING TO SPOILER TOWN HERE.

spoilers and very, very, very, VERY heavy text under the cut. im so sorry mobile users

these are all articles i have bookmarked lolol i suggest yall read them but tldrs aint that bad too

What’s it like to be raised in a Japanese orphanage?

many kids that wind up in orphanages were neglected by their parents or suffered some kind of abuse from their parents. its also not uncommon for parents to leave their kids there simply because theyre too overwhelmed by the job

but even then, some (read: a whole fucking lot) of these parents refuse to let their children be adopted bc of a social stigma involving it. they cant support/cant take care/dont give a fuck for their children but theyre too scared of the shame that comes from getting their kids adopted to let them live in a family that can care for and love them. think about that for a minute.

these kids are sometimes called throw away children by society. goro is a throw away child, you can say.

the kids tend to form a hierarchical society where the oldest or the biggest kid orders all the other kids around. refuse to listen to them, and you get beat up. abuse and bullying is rampant because of this

a child leaves their orphanage at around 15 to 18. once they leave, any kind of support from the government is cut off. gone. nada. youre on your goddamn own. 

japan is a country thats held together by connections. you get a job if you have a good network to back up your credibility. basically, without any kind of networks, youre already ruined before you even got outside of that goddamn orphanage you live in

to add: its not uncommon to hear about orphans released from orphanages becoming homeless or unemployed, and without a support network, more often than not they also suffer from mental illnesses such as depression. or theyre also manipulated into committing murder. you know.

im gonna throw my assumption out here that goro most likely was released from whatever orphanage he was in when he was 15. not too long after, he had awaken to his persona, and thats when he approached shido. probably. if that were the case, then it would align with when the mental shutdown cases started: two years before the main game. goro died at 17 years old.

with these facts, we can assume that HE WAS LITERALLY A HOMELESS KID WHEN HE WENT TO SHIDO, AND HE WAS BARELY LEGAL WHEN HE DIED, YOU FUCKING MONKEYS

“When I was growing up in orphanages I sensed the staff was fulfilling their responsibilities but I didn’t feel protected or loved. When I had to leave the orphanage I was all alone. I had no one to turn to.” — Sayuri Watai, 27, founder of a support organization run by and for ‘graduates’ of childhood welfare facilities.

Japan: Children in Institutions Denied Family Life

basically, the foster care system and the alternative care system (aka orphanages) in japan are a fucking trainwreck, but thats the whole point of this post, so its not that surprising.

orphanages are just really fucking bad, theres not enough space, bad facilities, abuses from both staff and fellow children, that kind of shit

its also mentioned here how those who leave the orphanages have no support to help them ease back into society and again brings up the importance of having connections in japan

adoption is rare. by 2011, only 303 kids (out of like, roughly, 30,000) were formally adopted out of the alternative care system. more on Why later

childrens’ best interests are often set aside in favour of letting the parents or family, who put them there in the first place, decide what happens to the kid, which basically means if the parents/family of the kid doesnt want the kid to get adopted, then no, the kid wont be adopted.

basically, the system favours the stupid adults’ opinions over the kids’ wellbeing. as quoted from one of the careworkers mentioned in the article, “In Japan, the interest of the parents is seen as more important than the interests of the child.”

“The Convention on the Rights of the Child states that for the full development of a child’s personality, they ‘should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding.’” 

hey so guess which persona 5 character never grew up in a family and ended up screwed up in the personality department and got so lost and confused with what he really wanted so he desperately clung to the flimsy fame he had and the idea of revenge and fake praises from a certain shido masayoshi? yeah i thought so

japan likes to cram all these kids into orphanages that, even though there are caretakers who do want to take very good care of these sad kids, there isnt enough staff to deal with them, and thats when what looks like neglect from the staffs part arises

the article lists testimonies from children and adults who are and were from these institutions. one of them, a one sentence testimony, stood out to me in particular: “I don’t have any dreams for the future.” it sounded so jaded and tired to me, and it makes me think of the last time we saw goro in the game. that really tired smile really hit it home for me. goro had goals, but what about dreams?

lets speak in hypotheticals: if goro managed to inflict his revenge on shido, and he won, what comes after? what will he do? he spoke in the ship about being heralded as the hero who took down shido, sure, but do yalls really think, after everything, he actually plans to get out of that goddamn mess alive? goro made it his life mission to ruin shido. nothing matters but that, not even himself. after all is said and done, it doesnt seem very plausible for goro to keep on wanting to live. theres nothing to live for, after that

Witness: Lack of Support in Japanese Orphanages

“Masashi cared about his appearance – he wore fashionable [ … ] clothes and had styled his hair – but a sense of isolation clung to him.” that sounds familiar but maybe thats just me

studies show that children younger than 3 who grow up in orphanages have the risk of delayed mental, emotional, and even physical development because of the lack of bonds with a proper adult or family. orphanages are also a really poor environment for older children, who most likely already experienced abuse in the hands of their families or severe trauma after losing their parents. either way, orphanages are just a really bad idea for children

the first two articles have mentioned this, and now this article mentions this again: kids who grow up in orphanages are often poorly equipped for the real world because of the lack of support after their release, and yeah yall know how they end up homeless and jobless bc of it

as continuation, sometimes, education for these kids are so poor that they get out of the system barely able to read or solve simple math problems. 

children get subsidies now (bc back then they didnt wtf). its around 55,000 yen, or 550 usd. they cant even get a drivers license with it, which also happens to be really good extra points for when applying for a job. another opportunity lost for them

Adoption in Japan Part 1: Why are there so many kids in orphanages?

this article focuses more on why adoption is so rare in japan and also reinstates some things that have been mentioned earlier, namely, childrens’ well being getting set aside in favour of what shitty parents have to say

majority of kids in orphanages have living parents who retain legal custody but are not raising them. because of this, they are not allowed to be adopted, even if the parents dont come back for them

for some reason, japan is really insistent on giving the parents full control on their kids life even though they already abandoned them. this idea is so strictly followed that even a baby found in trash cans or some shit are usually ruled by court as not allowed to be adopted in case the biological parents come looking for them. i know. its full of bullshit.

with that and the stigma of a family letting their kid adopted, it makes me think that maybe its why goro ended up stuck in orphanages and never lasted in foster homes. because despite being a good kid (which i actually think he was), he was never adopted bc his mothers family refused to let him be adopted. its really messed up

apparently, people think orphanages are “the right place for nobody’s children to be raised.” add in the “throwaway children” nickname from one of the earlier articles, i get where goros coming from with his whole “unwanted, cursed child” mentality, and why hes so desperate for anyones attention. spend your entire childhood having the idea that youre a throwaway child, that youre a nobody’s child, that your mother killed herself because youre unwanted planted in your vulnerable mind, and then taste praise for the first time despite it coming from the one person you want to ruin the most, no wonder goro was intoxicated by it.

while there are orphanages with staffs that try their best, sexual and physical abuse are still prevalent, mostly in private orphanages. though they are supposedly monitored by the government, those sent to inspect these private orphanages have little to no training for the job. most of the time, the inspector only comes for tea, then they fucking leave, and the abuses and badly maintained facilities continue to prevail

the article brings up again how children are badly prepared for the real world and are doomed to a life of hardship when they leave. it never stops

in japan, only middle school is compulsory, but most jobs require that you should be at least a high school graduate. only 10% (or lower) of kids from orphanages get to attend high school, because 1) getting into high school is like a super big deal and hard, maybe like getting into college, and normally, middle schoolers attend cram schools to prepare for their entrance tests, 2) these orphans cannot afford cram schools, 3) the government refuses to fund cram schools for these kids bc its also acknowledging that their public education fucking sucks and cant afford to get anyone into a high school

imagine goro burning his fucking eyebrows to be able to get into high school. although, truthfully, i wouldnt be surprised if shido had something to do with goro being able to get into high school, if we still go along with “goro approached shido at 15″ thing. but i stand with the whole “goro is actually smart and intelligent despite being a wack detective” thing bc lets be real, that shit he pulled in saes palace is fucking nuts. you cant deny the kids a genius in his own right

Adoption in Japan Part 2: Attitudes to Adoption

adult adoptions, the kind thats done by adults (duh) for convenience or inheritance etc etc, is a frequent thing in japan, but child adoption, the kind that we all are more familiar with, is apparently kind of a wack concept in japan. its entirely new to them. in fact they only legalised that shit in 1989

koseki likes to make everything complicated. its so fucking hard to describe, but its like a family tree of sorts, except when you (the mother) have a kid out of wedlock, youre not allowed to register your kid to your family tree for some fucking reason; you have to start your own family tree with just you and your kid. if you give up your kid for adoption and they got adopted, their name doesnt get removed from your family tree for some fucking reason, but the fact that they were adopted is noted in your family tree. and this starts the discrimination and stigma that comes from getting your kid adopted, and it makes parents who leave their child to orphanages unwilling to get their kids adopted. its also the source of stigma surrounding single mothers and children born out of wedlock. (hey guys guess whos both a kid born out of wedlock AND an orphan?????) NOTE: this is how i understand the concept of koseki so far, and i may not be 100% right bc that shit confuses the fuck out of me. idk. japan why

so yall know how obsessed goro is with being perfect—perfect grades, perfect public image, perfect everything? as it turns out, theres this stupid idea in japan thats widely accepted that “everything from your taste in food to the language you speak is biologically pre-determined” now that makes a shit ton of sense, considering the kind of person shido is. that fucking asshole. holy fuck.

Japan’s Forgotten Children

it says here that about 4,000 children were formally adopted out of the system, as opposed to an earlier article that says 303. i dont know which one is true.

this entire paragraph:

“Last month, a Chukyo Television director who was documenting this problem, asked a high government official why Japan had such a system, as opposed to promoting adoption and foster care like other developed nations. The man, whom I respect for his honesty, basically said that after the war there were many children without parents. At that time, many orphanages were built. So, that became Japan’s system to this day. Let me translate that for you…There are many jobs involved in this system. Plus, we don’t like change.”

orphanages run by the government receive funding based on how much kids they have, so more kids = more money, and that basically is also one of the reasons why no ones making an effort to get these kids out of the system. the kids are their means of getting free fucking money.

the government isnt trying to remedy this problem bc it doesnt want change, at least according to this guy named yamanta tokuji. hes an ex-child welfare worker who wants change, to put it simply.

he also says that living in orphanages for years damages a childs well being and behaviour. some who end up in family environments can develop reactive attachment disorder in which they regress to behaving like a baby.

the government wont tackle the issue “because it doesn’t want to know the truth and thus be forced to change.” yamantas opinion again

look, before anything else, i dont condone what goros done. shits fucked up, kids killed a whole lotta ppl, and he didnt fucking hesitate to pull the damn trigger on akira, but since this is fiction, context is important. if youre one of those people who simply dismissed goros character and went “eh. hes fucking evil with daddy issues” im just….. :(, bc you fucking missed the entire point of his character. its important to note hes the only teenage antagonist in a game where the adults are the Bad Guys™. i dont remember where i read this, but i (sorta) quote: hes a warning of what couldve happened to the phantom thieves, without morgana, without the support system that they had, without the positive influences that made them decide to do what they did. even yusuke acknowledges this, once they come back from shidos palace after Hell™ happened (i would have put a link to a photo, but where the fuck do i even find a pic of it).

i think that people seem to misunderstand goros character simply because of really fucking bad writing atlus COME THE FUCK ON they forget that theyre playing a game based on japan, where culture and society are very different from theirs, and in turn they dont understand the context behind goros backstory and how japans society views orphans and illegitimate children can really fuck with a kid, and okay, just because youre either of the two doesnt mean youll resort to murder, but 1) this is a modern fantasy game, where cats can become buses and fake gods can force a lonely kid who happens to be a wild card into the depths of hell, come on, 2) goro wasnt even the one who came up with the murders, it was shido. he fucking bragged about it in his boss fight you fucking monkeys!!!! i forgot to mention this, but shido also threatens goro if he ever so much expresses doubt

its also because of bad writing. its mostly because of bad writing. god. goro deserves better than this

goro was a vulnerable kid with powers, and that made him a perfect puppet for shido. imagine if he had known about changing hearts sooner, because no one ever told him about it. imagine if he was able to bring his wild card ability to its full potential, and dont even get me started with the fact that he was a wild card user. this post about wild cards and goro really makes you think, but that isnt the point of this post, so

anyway its 2 am im tired Good Night Have A Swell Night Sir

[jealously-is-a-curse]

Hello there! You should answer all 100 TMI asks ☺

100 NSFW TMI Questions: 1. Are you a virgin? No 2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yeah everyone knows i have small titties. 3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? No 4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? 5. Do you swear under celibacy? Nah fam 6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? I lost it when I was 17, so in year 12. 7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope cause im not stupid 8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?: no thank god, and i hope i never do!! 9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? nah 10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? no where really, for me still it the kitchen table like ppl eat of this and i did that on there damn. 11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? outdoor sex, im over car sex. 12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 18 years old 13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yeah lol every guy my age 14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too): nah 15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too):dunno 16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?:ahah nah 17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate): clitoral 18. What is your bra/penis size?: small size bra 19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?:yeah i always walk around naked infront of my mum lmao 20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?:nothing 21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?: i like both, depending on the chemistry between me and the guy. 22. When was the last time you masturbated?: couple weeks ago 23. When was the last time you had sex?: 3 weeks ago 24. When was the last time you watched porn?: does tumblr porn count? if so everyday lol 25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?: first sex toy i brough was a mini bullet, its my fave. 26. Guys: Circumsized? yeah but really isnt an issue for me. 27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?: my neck 28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?: obvi my clit 29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?: no i actually dislike my breast/nipples being touched 30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?: right now i have pink ones with green leaves on them. 31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?: yeah, whatelse is snapchat for? :))) 32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?Did it include sexual actions? No, no no. 33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? Nope 34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?:nope 35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?: literally couple nights ago. 36. Which wet dream was your favorite?: I dont think i have any faves cause i dont rememeber them all haha 37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?: maybe, but im scared it would wreck the friendship. 38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Oh too many to name. 39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah 40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?: Ive had the opportunity to but i have bad skin conditions so i avoid it haha 41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?: id say reverse cow girl 42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?: yes 43. Are you into any BDSM?: havent really tried it out but would love too. 44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?: hmm this answer is the same as question 37 45. Turn on's?: guys who eat pussy 46. Turn off's?: guys who dont eat pussy 47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?: nah 48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?: yeah, i mean who hasnt. 49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?: not to sure 50. Do you like dirty talk?: yeah I do, but i hate returning it back haha 51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?: quite as i live at home and all the bedrooms are close. 52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?: nope 53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?: guy was eating me out nek min he got a blood nose during it haha so awks 54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?: hilarious sex story is guys who last 5 mins 55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?: tumblr porn 56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome): oh in year 12 the boys made me watch black guy with asian girl LOL 57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?: tumblr porn 58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?: oh tv shows about girls who go into the porn industry aged 18 and cry over it haha 59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older?Younger? How much younger?: yes yes my year 7 high school teacher, who is probs in his early 30s now, now probs 8 or so years older 60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?: i dont have a fave one, id like to explore new ones 61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?: no but i stop seeing guys right away if i dont like the sex with them. 62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?: no, im only 21 dont need too haha 63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?: nah wouldnt do it for a tumblr follower 64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?: haha nah i keep that to myself. 65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?: yes 66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?nah 67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?: yup 68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?: only couple years ago 69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way): yeah i can only achieve orgasm with playing with my clit or sometimes getting eaten out. 70. Favorite type of oral?: sucking dick? 71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?: none yet 72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?: no 73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?: vaginal 74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?: clitoral 75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?: both 76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?: no 77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?no 78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?yeah and nah dont even remember his name 79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?: yes i have and no because feelings get involved. 80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?: yeah all the time i dont have a boyf 81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?: n/a 82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?: no and i hope it dont! 83. Birth control or condoms?: both 84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?: yes 85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?: haha yeah my bestfriend knows 86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?: yeah 87. Do you have any STDs?: no and dont plan on getting any 88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?: no 89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?: i dont even know what that means x 90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?: swallow, i dont like giving head but i do it anyways hahah 91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?: no but yeah i reject sex sometimes 92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? haha yeah 93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?: no, only kissed a few girls, tho i would like to some day try it out. 94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?no not at all. was scary lol 95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? no 96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?: yeah my bestfriend, few of my friends and my mum aahah 97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?: i wish i had a lover 98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? n/a 99. Do you like masturbation?: yes 100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? : no sorry xxx

[tartagyu]

92 questions ✨

rules: you must answer these 92 statements and tag as many people as you like!

tagged by: @bamethyst ; thank you for the tag nora! 💖 tagging: @astonishowell, @ggukgf, @chaiteasuga, @ttae, @agustboy, @cypherr, @sprxngday, @gayminyoongi ,,i know we don’t talk much but i regard y’all as my mutuals ☺️💗

THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: with a group mate from one of my classes 3. text message: asking my friend a question about school work zz 4. song you listened to: critical beauty // pentagon 5. time you cried: i nearly cried when i reread a letter to myself written from my 27yo self’s perspective from a week ago but i dont rmb when i actually cried. i think a month ago? like i cried myself to sleep?idk 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone i liked y ikez 8. been cheated on: never properly dated people so nope; but if u mean in terms of friendship, yup 9. lost someone special: yea 10. been depressed: ye i think so  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, underaged y’all

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14. pastel blue, any shade of purple, grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: not rly; only early this year bc i transitioned from my secondary school to a polytechnic 16. fallen out of love: kinda?idk if changing biases counted as falling out of love? 17. laughed until you cried: i think so;; now i miss my old friends 18. found out someone was talking about you: not rly but i always think that someone does 19. met someone who changed you: yeah 20. found out who your friends are: they’ve been there since 2015 so nope 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: um,, my mum?lol

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: majority of them. i used to be a Swifitie so i talked to the Swifties on there and make friends with them but not anymore ofc 23. do you have any pets: no :( i want a pet cat 24. do you want to change your name: yeah, it’s too common. that’s why i’d rather be called “lish” :) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i don’t rly remember? i think i was preparing for my o’s last year so i didn’t have a very fun bday party 26. what time did you wake up: 10am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching dan and phil play “dream daddy” 28. name something you can’t wait for: for got7 to come to singapore!!!! they came last year but i wasn’t that big a fan :( 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: about half an hour ago? she went out to buy lunch and run errands 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i could be more self-motivated 31. what are you listening to right now: down // fifth harmony 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: holland 33. something that is getting on your nerves: i get so anxious and my brain feels like it is going to explode whenever i near the deadline for assignments  34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, twitter 35. moles: one on my ear that looks like a piercing, one on the side of my left hand near the pinky 36. marks: tuans; jk i don’t have them, i think 38. hair colour: black?dark brown? 39. long or short hair: long 40. do you have a crush on someone: yugyeom 💕💞💓💗💖💘💝 41. what do you like about yourself: um, i can draw?i think // follow my art instagram (gotta get that promo)  42. piercings: nope; but people always mistake my mole on my ear for one 43. blood type: idek,, a? 44. nickname: lish (which i prefer people to call me; i’m grateful for that friend who made it but we don’t talk much anymore), alicia cheese (bc my last name is chee,, this is such a primary school joke), ciacia (sher-sher; my mum used to call me that) 45. relationship status: single  46. zodiac: dragon (chinese zodiac), taurus (if you mean my star sign) 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favourite tv show: shadowhunters, riverdale (these series are so problematic idek why i like them so much but i love shadowhunters bc i’ve read the mortal instruments and it’s lit af);; i don’t watch a lot of tv series now though 49. tattoos: nup 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: nope 52. hair dyed in different color: ashy colour or light blue 53. sport: i like badminton but i don’t play it much now 55. vacation: i went to hong kong, taiwan, japan and malaysia (too many times to count, especially genting) before but i want to visit london and south korea 56. pair of trainers: i wear my school shoes (they are like sneakers) to play sports if that’s what trainers are for

MORE GENERAL 57. eating: not yet 58. drinking: my saliva 59. i’m about to: finalise what i have to present with my group on monday sighh 61. waiting for: my mother to buy lunch 62. want: to get this semester over with 63. get married: i will probably be single with my apartment full of cats 64. career: psychologist!! 65. hugs or kisses: both 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: taller (i mean, look at yugy) 68. older or younger: older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: relationship  73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: no, im smol 75. drank hard liquor: no, im smol 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope; but i stepped and sat on my glasses before and i’ve never worn contact lenses before 77. turned someone down: nope; no one has ever asked me out before, it’s always me who confess to them (i don’t do that now) 78. sex on the first date: no, im smol 79. broken someone’s heart: no 80. had your heart broken: i guess? 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: ofc 83. fallen for a friend: i liked him before i was even friends with him but yeah, i got over him now?i think? i still have dreams abt him u gh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: i want to ,,but idk 85. miracles: kinda 86. love at first sight: n o 87. santa claus: i didn’t believe in him since the beginning, i think; i mean he is a white guy and i live in an asian country so when i was little, i thought i never rly saw these kind of people where i live (is this offensive,, sorry) 88. kiss on the first date: depends; i’ve never gone on a date with anyone before 89. angels: i mean jimin, yugyeom, hoseok and jackson exist so yeah

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: i have a couple of close friends now but not rly best friend? it’s too early for that, i’ve only just known these people for a few months 91. eye colour: dark brown?black? 92. favourite movie: currently my fav movie is split (when dr fletcher was like what if people with D.I.D. have unlocked the full potential of the brain, i was positively shookt) and guardians of the galaxy vol i. and ii. (gotg never gets old, it’s the shit y’all)